#he’s compassionate in his own way.. such an excellent performance

[addam-of-hull]

Matthew Needham continues to blow me away.

[james-kojirou]

James from Team Rocket is a truly complex character and very difficult to understand. At first glance, he appears confident and arrogant, but that's a role he plays as the "Team Rocket villain" and on stage, as explained in episodes DP 139: "A Faux Oak Finish" and DP 146: "Dressed for Jess Success!"

In private, outside his Team Rocket role, he is calm, rather shy, he is very anxious and follows his teammates' ideas even when he doesn't fully agree with their plans.

In the episode "A Hole Lotta Trouble," Brock and Ash tell James that he must learn to assert himself without his teammates.

James had a childhood in the high aristocracy, where he could have anything material he wanted, but his parents gave him no affection, demeaned him, and forced him to follow strict and severe discipline like in the Victorian era. They also forced him into an arranged engagement with Jessiebelle, allowing her to train him with whips. He kept a deep trauma from this period of his life.

He joined Team Rocket to rebel against the rules and proper conduct imposed on him in his childhood.

In an interview, the Japanese voice actors of Team Rocket: Megumi Hayashibara, Inuko Inuyama, and Miki Shinichiro, revealed that Jessie's goal in Team Rocket is to become rich or an important woman (which is why she dislikes Matori), Meowth also wishes to be important by taking the place of the boss's favorite Pokémon, replacing Persian. However, James's objective is solely to support and help his two friends achieve their goals and dreams, making them happy.

When James gains a little confidence in himself or engages in an activity he's passionate about and sure he can succeed, he becomes overly enthusiastic. However, he quickly falls into depression if he fails. An episode that shows this aspect of his personality is 'The Fortune Hunters' when James imagines himself as a powerful Moltres due to the description in a Pokemon horoscope book, which turns out to be false.

He is also willing to wholeheartedly encourage people he admires, like Jessie during her Kalos contests or 'The Royal Mask' (under the pseudonym Fire-Kojiro, reminiscent of when he felt strong and proud like a Moltres).

Yet, when he has to put himself in the spotlight outside of Team Rocket missions, he feels terribly uncomfortable and automatically convinces himself that he will lose or isn't capable (The Battlefield of Truth and Love!, Dressed for Jess Success, Party Dancecapades)."

Unlike Jessie, who thinks she's the best at everything, James has very low self-esteem and undervalues himself: believing for example others can take better care of his own Pokemon like Gardenia with Cacnea or Mareanie with her ex-boyfriend. He also thinks Jessie will be happier with Dr. White than with him in Team Rocket.

As demonstrated in episode 19 of "Pokémon Journeys" - A Talent for Imitation! Jessie is an excellent self-confidence coach, pushing her teammates and Pokémon to go beyond their limits and overcome their fears and apprehensions.

Jessie and Meowth are both invaluable support for James. Through their friendship and the trust they give him, he finally feels loved and respected for who he truly is. They are more than just friends; they are his family!

James may appear naive and childish, often being very emotional and crybaby. Despite this, he excels in a lot of various fields, such as being an excellent technician, a talented actor, a poet, and well-informed about Pokemon… He's also skilled in computer science and hacking. On rare occasions when he's involved in a Pokemon battle or contest, he performs remarkably well.

When he forgot his fear under the effect of adrenaline to protect his Mareanie, he even demonstrated incredible strength!

Even though he is part of Team Rocket, James doesn't have a truly evil nature. In reality, he is a compassionate Pokemon trainer, loving his Pokemon so much that their affection hurts him physically, yet he always lets them show their love to him in this way. 💖

[learnthebreakdown]

A letter to Simon Eriksson (and Omar Rudberg),

I knew I was going to write this at some point after Young Royals ended, but I've been putting it off because a) it'd make me emotional and b) I wouldn't be able to do justice to how I feel with words...but after the cast's goodbye video, here goes.

I am so, so, so grateful Simon Eriksson exists. Few characters have taken such a deep spot in my heart, but Simon is on that top tier of characters that I will always love so deeply. He is very important, not just to me, but I honestly believe his character existing is important for the media/world in general.

While I only recently started being more active in the fandom, I watched Young Royals just around when it first aired in 2021. What inspired me to watch the show was a clip online. It was Simon's iconic scene in the first episode where he says the monarchy is the country's biggest welfare receiver. And I was instantly hooked! Not just because I was absolutely shook at how beautiful Simon was, but also because of his personality that shined through. Brave, strong, defiant, and independent in the face of all the bullies. Simon is a phenomenal character period, but for him to also be a queer POC makes him even more special because we don't see it often on screen.

When I started actually watching the show, I got even more attached to Simon than I thought possible. The audience witnessed how loving, compassionate, and driven Simon was. I loved how we saw Simon's bravery in different ways throughout Young Royals. He was brave as he kept forgiving people and giving them second chances. He was brave because he kept his heart open to love even after being hurt. He was brave to put himself first when he needed to, even in the face of the royal family. He was brave to stick to his values in the face of all the exhausting bullying and archaic traditions of Hillerska. He was a snarky teenager but also mature beyond his years. He learned how to love others without losing himself. Seeing Simon be such a complex character and good human being made me fall in love with him.

Omar, I'm in awe at this being your first acting job. You are a natural, talented, and hardworking artist in every sense of the word. You have not only excelled and singing and performing, but acting too. Simon is Simon is because of you. You brought such heart and lovability to the character, as well as your beautiful voice. It is also clear that your compassion and empathy, which you were able to use to understand/play Simon as artfully and earnestly as you did, comes from your own experiences and your own identity. You're brave too, for daring to be yourself unapologetically. You've helped so many people.

Thank you to all the cast and crew as well, who played a primary role in making all the characters and this show into what it was. Your role doesn't get highlighted all the time, but you deserve much more credit for the acting, the characters, the ambience, and all the creative choices in Young Royals than audiences realize.

I'll love Simon Eriksson always. We'll keep making fan content and loving this show, thank you for trusting us with Simon now.

Love,

Brekkie

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Jean-Luc Picard

By Ames

Since you all enjoyed our spotlighting of all the characters from The Original Series, we’re going to continue onward by spotlighting all our mains from Star Trek: The Next Generation as well! Of course, we were going to do it anyway because we’re having a blast going officer by officer and reminiscing on their high and low points, but I wanted you to feel special.

And what better way to start things off than with one of the fandom’s favorite and most ethical characters, and the one who sparked his own [deeply flawed] spinoff series, Captain Jean-Luc Picard! So join us on this week’s A Star to Steer Her By as we put on our captain’s bomber jacket, whip out our Ressikan flutes, and drape our Mintakan tapestries over the backs of chairs. Read on below for when Picard was at his best, and subsequently at his worst, and listen to the banter over on this week’s podcast episode (jump to 1:08:49 if you're not here for Enterprise chat). Make it so!

[Images �� CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Not now, Doctor. Please. I already foresee talking about “The Naked Now” quite a lot over the next couple of weeks because everyone’s character ends up exaggerated by the polywater syndrome. And Picard is no exception. We do admit that it is good of him to fight his intoxication and also Bev’s advances, and it also gives us that little horny chuckle and skip that are just so endearing.

Prove to the court that I am sentient Picard becomes known throughout the series for his excellent ethical and philosophical speeches, and the first really big one comes in “The Measure of a Man” and it’s a doozy. It’s no small feat determining sentience (really, sapience) of a being, and Picard standing up to Bruce Maddox to fight for Data’s rights is something to take pride in and aspire to.

The time cops would be proud Picard’s relationship with Guinan is intriguing throughout all of TNG, and his trust in her abilities is enough for him to believe that it is best to send the Enterprise-C back to their rightful place in history in “Yesterday’s Enterprise.” As his alternate-timeline ship is crashing down around him and his crew is dying all over the bridge, he heroically gives the C their best shot.

Sarek <3 Spock In our Top 5 TNG Episodes list, “Sarek” ended up being the only episode that made all four of your hosts’ lists. And for good reason! Picard compassionately helps Sarek through a bout of Bendii syndrome by mindmelding with him so he can get back to his ambassadorial work, and we end up with some of the best Patrick Stewart acting in the whole show for it!

Bedtime for Borgo Picard has a rough time throughout all of “The Best of Both Worlds,” spending most of the two-parter as Locutus, as you’ll see in just a moment. But at the end of Part II, he’s able to fight through the Borg programming just enough to give Data the one-word cue “Sleep,” which turns out to be the undoing of the Borg in that Battle of Wolf-359.

Mev yap! I’m always a big fan of watching Picard speaking Klingon in their ceremonies. It shows how seriously he takes their customs. And in “Reunion,” when he breaks out the ja’chuq while arbitrating the Rite of Succession and also looking into K’mpec’s murder, it’s so ballsy that you’ve got to respect the guy. Or, at least anyone who isn’t as dishonorable as Duras has got to respect the guy.

With the first link, the chain is forged Yet another in a long line of great Picard speeches comes in “The Drumhead.” Admiral Satie gets more and more power hungry to convict people throughout her Red Scare hearings, even through unscrupulous means. Picard rightly puts her in her place by throwing the just words of her own father in her face. No wonder she’s on Jake’s Evil Admirals listicle.

Sokath, his eyes uncovered! Picard befriending Captain Dathon in “Darmok” is so Picardy that I’m swapping it in for that great line from “Peak Performance” I mentioned on the podcast (which is still great, but the screengrab was more boring). And I’m just so impressed with Picard’s patience in learning the seemingly nonsensical Tamarian language and his willingness to trust another being who just wants to communicate with him.

Resistance is not futile While it could be debated that this moment be prime fodder for Picard’s Worst Moments list for not getting rid of the Borg when he had the chance in “I, Borg,” we’ve got to admit it’s such a good moment for Picard to connect with Hugh and save his life. After having been forced into the role of Locutus, Picard has got to feel some small triumph that he didn’t commit genocide this day.

There! Are! Four! Lights!  More absolutely stellar Patrick Stewart acting comes in “Chain of Command, Part II.” Say what you will about Part I (Picard had no reason to be on this mission, there, I said it), watching Picard retain his humanity and resolution while being tortured by Gul Madred is riveting stuff. And no matter how many times I see it, I get goosebumps at his “four lights” defiance every time.

Yippee-ki-yay Here’s another kinda late addition to this list but how can one not include all the sabotaging of the ship he does in “Starship Mine”? It’s clear that Picard knows his ship like the back of his hand (the one that wasn’t briefly a Borg hand, more likely) when you watch him outsmart a bunch of terrorists as he John McClanes all over the Enterprise-D.

How many people does it take, Admiral, before it becomes wrong? Insurrection may not be anyone’s favorite of the Star Trek movies (here’s ours, for reference!), but Picard’s ethical debate feels so immensely right. Between standing up to Dougherty (another evil admiral!), to fighting for the rights of the Ba’ku, to his great line to Gallatin, “I’m not pleading for my life; I’m pleading for yours,” this is the most Picard has ever Picarded. Period.

—

Worst moments

Shut up, Wesley While we were tempted to also include this moment in our Best Moments list, it’s true that no matter how obnoxious Wesley is being (and he so often is; just wait until our Wesley spotlight), it’s never right to tell him to shut up. Even less so when he is literally the only member of the crew who is actually giving you pertinent information to save the day, as he was in “Datalore.”

Breaking the cycle Since we first watched it, we’ve been simply perplexed by “Time Squared.” There’s a reason it made so many of our Worst Time Travel Episode lists. Picard, at an entire loss for ideas, decides to kill the other him who’s been bonking around to see if that stops the time loops, and then leaves the corpse there for Pulaski to find without telling anyone which him it is! WTF?

I don't know if I want to be Eve I’ve also got to give Picard some guff for making the Bringloidi breeding stock for the Mariposans in “Up the Long Ladder.” Brenna even chastises Picard in the final scene for deciding this with only the male leaders of each society without consulting the women, who will have to basically become baby incubators, and even more annoyingly, she ends up being into it!

Resistance IS futile! While we can’t exactly blame Picard himself for being turned into Locutus in “The Best of Both Worlds,” resulting in huge losses for the Federation, we do have to admit it’s one of his lowest points as a human being. There’s a reason why Picard actually needs to take a mental health vacation in “Family,” something we tended to never see in Star Trek of that era.

Another orphan for the Rozhenkos You could tell by the look on Picard’s face after he accidentally killed Junior’s mother in “Galaxy’s Child” that he knows he screwed up. Couldn’t they have just left her alone in space instead of provoking her to attack them and then finding it necessary to shoot her dead? And now poor Junior has to be raised by his asshole aunts and uncles, thank you very much.

Now now now now! I mean, we were bound to dislike “Rascals” regardless because of its terrible child actors and obnoxious plot, but when you think about it, Picard was also entirely out of character. And it’s not just because he was supposed to be prepubescent: it was because he suddenly couldn’t lead his crew, and being smaller and whinier is no excuse for ignoring all his past experiences!

Mystery solved: Picard did it! If we picked on Kirk back in one of our earlier character spotlights for never checking in on Khan when he marooned him on Ceti Alpha V, then you’re damn right we’re going to pick on Picard for not checking in on Moriarty between “Elementary, Dear Data” and “Ship in a Bottle.” In that time, the holographic mastermind got rightly impatient and took matters into his own hands.

Play dom-jot, human “Tapestry” portrays how brash and short-sighted and tail-chasing Picard was in his years at Starfleet Academy, and how his willingness to get into scrapes got him into a fight with Nausicaans that really should have killed him if it weren’t for future technology. Thank the Continuum for JL’s artificial heart that allowed him to become the man we saw him become.

So it was gik'tal after all While we get that Sito Jaxa had a lot to atone for after the incident in “The First Duty,” we are still uncomfortable with how much Jean-Luc guilted her into going on the very dangerous mission that got her killed in “Lower Decks.” Picard definitely abused his power over her in this instance because he knew how badly she wanted to save face and he exploited it.

Kill the Dorvan V native, save the man Indeed, one of the worst decisions we see Picard make is when he just acts on Necheyev’s orders (hey, another of Jake’s Evil Admirals!) like a little sheep and coordinates moving the inhabitants of Dorvan V in “Journey’s End.” It’s shameful to watch Picard go the route of the Trail of Tears, and then only come around when he’s shown who his ancestor was. 

I think it’s time to try some unsafe velocities We talk a lot about how the Prime Directive isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but that’s still no excuse for all the dunebuggying antics Picard performed in Nemesis. Especially in front of all the natives of the planet (or what we assumed were natives). What a pathetic scene in a pathetic movie. It’s so clear they just wanted to race around in an ATV for a little excitement, but it was absolutely stupid and out of character.

The triumph of the echo over the voice Fittingly, we have even more Nemesis moments to lament since it was such a detestable movie. All movie long, I don’t understand why Picard is so conflicted about the clone situation, as if Shinzon is literally Picard himself and it would reflect poorly on him somehow. That’s not how clones work, dude! There’s no saving this asshole. And unrelatedly, but here we are: stop ordering Worf to go naked to the wedding on Betazed; that’s just gross!!!

—

Well, our Earl Grey tea has gotten lukewarm, and that means we’ve got to wrap things up. Make sure you join us next week for more character spotlights, this one of the bearded variety, and also keep following along with our watchthrough of Enterprise over on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast. You can also discuss diplomatic relations with us on Facebook and Twitter, and let Worf keep his clothes on if he wants!

[mogwai-movie-house]

The White Lotus (Season 2, 2022)

Just finished the second season of Mike White's wondrous black dramedy The White Lotus, a tale of dead bodies and affluent Americans abroad, with each season set in a different branch of the same exclusive holiday resort, this one in Sicily.

One of the things I most like about White's work is his nuanced depiction of women and subtle, closely-observed dynamics between the sexes: it's very noticeable in his film The Good Girl and his previous show Enlightened. One of the older characters in this one sums up White's philosophy on humanity when he tells his young male feminist grandson "Women aren't all saints: they're just like us". Because of this we get interesting, 3-dimensional, multilayered performances from every actress, all of whom are uniformly excellent.

This time round we have a rich, dumb, over-the-hill heiress, oblivious to everything but her own whims, a closeted lesbian hotel manager sexually harassing her staff, greedy local girls trading their bodies for money, and three other young women making bad decisions and avoiding examining why or refusing to take responsibility for them. It's hard to imagine these characters being depicted in such an unflinching but compassionate, humanizing way in almost any other show being made in the 2020's, holding them up to the same standards as the men. And none of the characters - women or men - are particularly admirable, likeable or 'good', but none of them are far enough away from ourselves to be considered 'evil', either.

There are no small parts: every character, all the way down to the one-line, bit part player, is unique and memorable, and their words - or even more often silent reactions - add valuable depth and meaning to the story throughout; most often showing us how these characters' delusions and rudeness are appearing to the less-wealthy people outside of their self-involved bubble. Every character behaves in a consistent, believable manner throughout, so the changes in their behaviour feel real, organic and meaningful, and every plot development leads plausibly to the next. This attention to detail and firm grasp of the story elements really isn't something we get to see even in "Oscar-winning™" filmmaking anymore, let alone TV shows, with the occasional exception of something like Better Call Saul, so a show like this is something to be treasured and celebrated wherever it is found.

★★★★★★★★☆☆

[girlbossminerva]

Okay, so I as an individual does not support Juvia Lockser, I would say this on Tiktok but a good percent of my mutuals are GrUvia shippers so I would get cancelled within a day and whatever, and I don't want people coming for me from there.

Like I like Juvia is a water mage, she's pale (makes sense), her aesthetic is cute, I like her in short hair, she's just so pretty with it.

My issue is that she stalks Gray and people will turn a blind eye to it mostly those who are all like, "Anime isn't real life, so it isn't an issue." She has a stash of Gray merch (Not a fan of it) Miss Girl stood outside in the rain bcs he was gone, I think she followed him in the manga against his consent and he caved in and let her stay.

Mashima could have written Gray a love interest who had her own thing but also loves Gray immensely but he makes her only reason for existing is for Gray's milked-to-the-max trauma which Mashima will not let go to save his life, Juvia has friendships with her guild members even with her female guild members which is clouded by the unreasonable jealousy for her beloved "Gray-sama"

Also, the hurricane caused an outage so this is very limited💀

Girl, why do you have gruvia mutuals if they will get up in arms when you point out the truth? /hj

But also thats why i block all people who like the ship and can't behave, which is most shippers actually

Juvia is a character i HATE deeply and also I love her, the thing is that i only love the version I reconstructed in my mind cause the canon one is beyond salvation. To me Juvia up until the Fantasia arc has a lot of potential, she has a cool magic, an interesting aesthetic and a particular character that although very flawed could still turn into something better, because you see we can tell she's an extremely lonely person, her obsessive attachment to Gray stems from that but she has moments with Lucy and Cana during the TOH and Fantasia arcs that show us that she could evolve past her obsession cause she now has a whole group of people who could act as her family. But since Mashima is an absolute idiot, he decided to halt any character development and then tried to make it a "mutually romantic" relationship that exhibits a fuckton of actual irl redflags.

The people who're all "anime isn't real life" need to pick up a fucking book about the ways fiction can and will affect reality, specially a person perceptions. Some people will think that Juvia's stalker tendencies are ok and could try to perform them cause "hey, if it worked for her it could work to make this person fall in love with me" or the contrary could also be true, that someone will ignore the redflags when they're being stalked and emotionally manipulated since Juvia is not, according to the series' morality, a bad character so neither is their stalker right? And it isn't just the stalking, Juvia DID manipulate Gray and take advantage of his trauma and vulnerable state several times to get him to "love" her. Gray "accepting" her affections is never going to be out of a place of actual required love but actually because Juvia has worn him down for years and at this point he might as well just give up trying to stop her, is the same dynamic at play with many male characters (and irl men) where they ask a woman out and pressure her until she gets tired of her no's being ignored but the only difference is that this time is a woman.

And you know what makes me angrier when thinking of possibilities? That I think gruvia ACTUALLY WOULD'VE BEEN A PERFECTLY FINE SHIP IF JUVIA WERE MADE TO BE AN ACTUAL CHARACTER AND NOT A WET PIECE OF CARDBOARD WITH ONE TRAIT.

I mean their elements complement each other!!! And the way they meet? Juvia, a person who's been lonely and depressed most of her life meeting Gray, someone who is so nice and compassionate, who gives her a bit of hope that she isn't meant to just be hated by everyone? IT'S EXCELLENT!! THEY EVEN COULD'VE BEEN BEST FRIENDS GODDAMMIT, MASHIMA JUST NEEDED TO NOT MAKE JUVIA A STALKING MANIPULATOR.

But as it stands i cannot tolerate this ship in any form nor the fans who ship it. The only way I can tolerate Juvia is picturing her as a lesbian who stopped pursuing Gray very early on.

That's it, hope power returns to you soon enough.

[weightlosecenter]

 Best Weight Loss Surgery in Delhi

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[bookeysnewsletter]

Better: Making incremental improvements in all aspects of life

Chapter 1 What's Better by Atul Gawande

"Better" by Atul Gawande explores the concept of excellence in various fields, focusing on medicine, a field the author himself is deeply involved in as a surgeon. Gawande argues that achieving excellence is not just about talent or innate ability, but rather about dedication, discipline, and a commitment to continual improvement. He emphasizes the importance of learning from mistakes, seeking feedback, and embracing a mindset of constant learning and growth. The book offers insightful anecdotes and practical advice for individuals striving for excellence in any profession or endeavor. Overall, "Better" provides a compelling argument for the power of deliberate practice and learning in achieving greatness.

Chapter 2 Better by Atul Gawande Summary

"Better" by Atul Gawande is a book that explores the concept of excellence and how individuals, organizations, and systems can strive to achieve it. Gawande argues that excellence is not a destination, but a continuous process of improvement and learning.

Gawande draws on his experiences as a surgeon, as well as stories from other fields such as aviation and construction, to illustrate the importance of embracing a culture of continuous improvement. He highlights the role of feedback, practice, and attention to detail in achieving excellence.

Throughout the book, Gawande introduces various strategies and techniques that can help individuals and organizations improve their performance. These include creating checklists, analyzing failures, seeking mentors, and embracing a willingness to learn and adapt.

Overall, "Better" encourages readers to think critically about their own practices and challenges them to strive for excellence in whatever they do. It serves as a valuable resource for anyone looking to improve their performance and make a positive impact in their field.

Chapter 3 Better Author

Atul Gawande is an American surgeon, writer, and public health researcher. He was born on November 5, 1965, in Brooklyn, New York. He is a practicing surgeon and professor at Harvard Medical School and the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.

Gawande released the book "Better: A Surgeon's Notes on Performance" in 2007. The book explores the concept of improvement in medicine and healthcare, drawing on Gawande's experiences as a surgeon. It discusses ways for individuals and organizations in healthcare to strive for excellence and continuously improve.

In addition to "Better," Atul Gawande has written several other books, including "Complications: A Surgeon's Notes on an Imperfect Science" (2002), "The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right" (2009), and "Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End" (2014).

Among these books, "Being Mortal" has been widely acclaimed as one of Gawande's best works. It examines the limitations of modern medicine in addressing end-of-life care and advocates for a more compassionate and patient-centered approach to aging and mortality. "Being Mortal" has received numerous awards and accolades and has been praised for its thoughtful and poignant exploration of a challenging topic.

In terms of editions, "Being Mortal" has been released in multiple formats, including hardcover, paperback, and audiobook editions. It has also been translated into several languages, making it accessible to a wider readership around the world.

Chapter 4 Better Meaning & Theme

Better Meaning

"Better" by Atul Gawande is a book that explores the concept of excellence and improvement in various aspects of life, including healthcare, education, and everyday decision-making. The central message of the book is that progress and improvement are achievable through continuous learning, adapting, and refining our practices. Gawande emphasizes the importance of embracing innovation, challenging the status quo, and being open to feedback and collaboration in order to reach higher levels of performance and effectiveness. Overall, the book encourages readers to strive for excellence and continuous improvement in all aspects of their lives.

Better Theme

The theme of "Better" by Atul Gawande revolves around the idea of continuous improvement and striving for excellence in all aspects of life, particularly in the field of medicine. Gawande emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and learning from mistakes, as well as the value of collaboration and teamwork in achieving better outcomes for patients. He also highlights the significance of incorporating innovative practices and technologies into healthcare to enhance the quality of care provided. Ultimately, the central message of the book is that the pursuit of betterment is a never-ending journey that requires dedication, open-mindedness, and a willingness to adapt and evolve in order to achieve optimal results.

Chapter 5 Quotes of Better

Better quotes as follows:

1. "Better is possible. It does not take genius. It takes diligence. It takes moral clarity. It takes ingenuity. And above all, it takes a willingness to try."

2. "The prospect of failure is real. But so is the promise of getting better."

3. "We can be humble and live a good life with the aid of the largest health care system in the world—or we can be arrogant and die."

4. "The problem with our system is not that our doctors and hospitals are bad at what they do—it's that they are often not aligned around the aim of doing the very best they can for their patients."

5. "The key difference—the ultimate game changer—is the ability to translate knowledge into outcomes."

6. "We have been driven to find answers because in medicine, as in life, we fail at times."

7. "Success is not about being right all the time; it's about being accountable and resilient when we're not."

8. "The most important step toward becoming a better doctor is to ask the right questions and to really listen to the answers."

9. "We all need help to get better, but the greatest help comes from within—from our own determination to improve."

10. "In the end, being better is about making the most of the information we have, taking the time to understand it, and then doing something with it."

Chapter 6 Similar Books Like Better

1. "The Nightingale" by Kristin Hannah - A beautiful and heart-wrenching story following the lives of two sisters in Nazi-occupied France during World War II.

2. "Educated" by Tara Westover - A powerful memoir about a woman who grows up in a strict and abusive family, but manages to break free and pursue an education against all odds.

3. "Circe" by Madeline Miller - A mesmerizing retelling of the Greek myth of Circe, the enchantress who turns Odysseus' men into swine, exploring themes of power, identity, and transformation.

4. "The Silent Patient" by Alex Michaelides - A gripping psychological thriller about a woman who shoots her husband and then stops speaking, leaving a forensic psychotherapist to unravel the mystery of what really happened.

5. "Where the Crawdads Sing" by Delia Owens - A haunting and lyrical novel about a young girl named Kya who grows up isolated in the marshes of North Carolina, accused of a murder she didn't commit.

Book  bookey.app/book/better

Author  bookey.app/quote-author/atul-gawande

Quotes  bookey.app/quote-book/better

The Nightingale  bookey.app/book/the-nightingale

The Silent Patient  bookey.app/book/the-silent-patient

Youtube  youtube.com/watch?v=MbNu6LY5sMY

Amazon ��amazon.com/Better-Surgeons-Performance-Atul-Gawande/dp/0312427654

Goodreads  goodreads.com/book/show/213233.Better

[ourhealthcare7]

Best Appendix Surgeon in Delhi : Dr Tarun Mittal

In the fast-paced realm of healthcare, the quest for the best specialists is paramount, especially when it comes to delicate procedures like appendectomy. The appendix, though small, can wreak havoc if inflamed, demanding swift and skilled surgical intervention. In the bustling metropolis of Delhi, amidst a sea of medical professionals, one name stands out for his unparalleled expertise and compassionate care – Dr. Tarun Mittal.

Unparalleled Expertise

Dr. Tarun Mittal is not just a surgeon; he is a beacon of excellence in the field of appendectomy. With years of rigorous training and hands-on experience, Dr. Mittal has honed his skills to perfection, earning him the reputation of being the Best appendix surgeon in Delhi. His expertise spans a wide range of surgical techniques, from traditional open surgery to minimally invasive laparoscopic procedures.

Cutting-Edge Technology

At Dr. Mittal's state-of-the-art clinic, patients benefit from the latest advancements in surgical technology. From high-definition imaging systems to precision surgical instruments, every aspect of the surgical process is optimized for efficiency and safety. Dr. Mittal believes in staying ahead of the curve, constantly updating his practice to incorporate emerging technologies that enhance patient outcomes and minimize recovery time.

Personalized Care

What truly sets Dr. Tarun Mittal apart is his unwavering commitment to personalized care. He understands that every patient is unique, with their own set of concerns and medical history. Dr. Mittal takes the time to listen to his patients, addressing their questions and alleviating their fears. From the initial consultation to post-operative follow-up, he ensures that each patient feels heard, understood, and cared for every step of the way.

Compassionate Approach

Undergoing surgery can be a daunting experience, but Dr. Mittal's compassionate approach helps put patients at ease. His warm demeanor and reassuring presence create a sense of trust and comfort, allowing patients to face their surgical journey with confidence. Dr. Mittal believes in treating not just the ailment but the individual as a whole, offering emotional support and encouragement throughout the healing process.

Seamless Patient Experience

From scheduling appointments to coordinating with insurance providers, Dr. Mittal's team ensures a seamless patient experience from start to finish. They understand that navigating the healthcare system can be overwhelming, which is why they go above and beyond to assist patients every step of the way. Whether it's helping with paperwork or providing guidance on post-operative care, Dr. Mittal's team is always there to lend a helping hand.

Patient Testimonials

The true measure of a surgeon's excellence lies in the testimonials of their patients. Countless individuals have entrusted their care to Dr. Tarun Mittal and have emerged not just healed but transformed by their experience. Here are just a few testimonials from Dr. Mittal's grateful patients:

"Dr. Mittal performed my appendectomy with such skill and precision that I was back on my feet in no time. His compassionate care made all the difference during my recovery."

"I was terrified at the thought of surgery, but Dr. Mittal's calm demeanour and expertise put me at ease. Thanks to him, I'm now living a life free from appendicitis."

"Dr. Mittal doesn't just treat the ailment; he treats the person. His personalized approach made me feel like I was in good hands every step of the way."

Conclusion

In the realm of appendix surgery, Dr. Tarun Mittal shines as a beacon of excellence and compassion. His unparalleled expertise, cutting-edge technology, and personalized approach make him the Best appendix surgeon in central Delhi. Patients who entrust their care to Dr. Mittal can rest assured knowing that they are in the hands of a skilled professional who truly cares about their well-being. If you or a loved one is in need of appendix surgery, look no further than Dr. Tarun Mittal for exceptional care and unparalleled results.

[denimbex1986]

'The new film " All of us Strangers " by the British Andrew Haigh is a heartbreaking and hypnotic story of love and loss. The nostalgic and metaphysical story stars the excellent Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Jamie Bell and Claire Foy . The script adapts the novel Strangers (1987) by author Taichi Yamada for the big screen , infusing it with a more personal side of Haigh, centering on a lonely gay writer who returns to his past while starting a new relationship.

One night in an almost empty skyscraper in modern London, Adam (Andrew Scott) accidentally meets a mysterious neighbor, Harry (Paul Mescal), and his everyday life changes. As their relationship develops, Adam is overwhelmed by memories of the past and finds himself returning to the country town where he grew up and to his childhood home, where his parents (Claire Foy and Jamie Bell) seem to still live, just like the day they were killed, 30 years ago.

“What I loved about Taichi Yamada's novel was the central metaphor: what if you met your parents again years after their death and they were the same age as you? It's a very moving way to explore the nature of family. That was my starting point," says director and screenwriter Andrew Haigh, who has set the plot in a more familiar world.

"Transferring the book was a long and sometimes painful process," Haigh admits. " I wanted to carve out my past like Adam does in the film. I was interested in the complex aspects of family and romantic love, but also the unique experience of a particular generation of gays who grew up in the '80s . I wanted to move away from the traditional ghost story of the book and encounter something more psychological, almost metaphysical."

Haigh masterfully managed to remain in his own world, transcending the stereotypes of a ghost story . Subsequently, Yamada and his family fully respected Haigh's vision, which transformed the story's central character into a gay man, when they read the final script and gave their blessing to the film.

Life after death

The film stars a remarkable quartet of performers with Andrew Scott, Paul Mescal, Jamie Bell and Claire Foy. "I was immediately drawn to the script," says Scott, who plays Adam. "It's very personal for Haigh, but as with great writers, it makes you feel that it's personal for everyone, and I was very drawn to it."

"It's a wonderful concept," continues Bell, who plays Dad. "Other films have dealt with life after death, or misled viewers into thinking people are alive when they're not. Many successful such versions move in a specific film genre.'

Scott adds, “Andrew is one of those rare people who is likeable and incredibly talented at what he does. We all find him very open and positive. He's confident and knows what he wants, but he doesn't do it selfishly." Scott's co-star Mescal, who plays Harry, is a fan of Haigh. “He knows everything about the characters he's written. I like how detached from emotion he is as a director, but at the same time honors the truth." As for Foy, who plays Mom, “He's so simple. The least aggressive director you could meet."

The weight of mourning

The emotional burden of the film rests on the shoulders of the protagonist Adam, played with disarming confidence by Andrew Scott. Adam is a forty-year-old gay screenwriter living in a skyscraper in London. He is an orphan. He has no relationship and is lonely. He bears the burden of mourning when he lost his parents in a car accident when he was still young. Cliché, as he himself says.

" Adam is a very solitary figure ," says Scott. "His mother describes him as a very loving and compassionate person. It was a difficult role in the sense that it puts you in difficult areas. But it's also a privilege in a way." “Andrew Scott was on my mind from the beginning. I admire him as an actor. And while it's not necessary with every queer role, it was important to me that the protagonist share the same sexuality as the character. The film has many nuances and I needed someone who could understand it in depth," adds Haigh.

The role of the complex Adam is a challenge for any actor. Haigh continues, “I think Andrew enjoyed the process, but I don't think it was easy. She had to approach him as a child and as an adult. How Andrew oscillated between the two was a wonderful thing to watch." "I've known Andrew for a long time and I love him very much," says Foy. "I had told Andrew Haigh that we wouldn't have any issue with me developing a deep relationship with Andrew because I already feel close to him."

A night drenched in alcohol

Harry lives in the same block of flats as Adam, and after proposing to his neighbor for a booze-soaked night, he eventually becomes romantically involved with him. Their passionate and transformative love story gives them both a transcendental boost .

The role of Harry belongs to Oscar nominee Paul Mescal. "I think the loneliness they feel is reflected back to each other," Mescal says of his relationship with Adam. "He feels like a little kid, like someone who should be happier and people tell him he can, but he doesn't feel that way. He hides behind sex and pleasure, he has a difficult relationship with alcohol and drugs . He is trapped," continues the actor. "I recognize him in small elements of myself and my friends, but also in the new men in the world."

Mescal is undoubtedly a gifted actor and has given performances that stretch his talent and ability. With a story like this that emerges from the strength of the characters, Haigh knew he could count on Mescal. "Paul is an unassuming actor and I've always liked him," says the director. "It combines sensitivity with power. There's something about him that draws you in, and that's what I needed for Harry."

While the chemistry between two extremely talented actors can be an unpredictable and undefined force, Haigh explains how he made sure the characters build the rapport they need. "We went to a concert, we went out, we talked about our lives. The chemistry was there from the beginning and my role was just to tame it." Scott was grateful to work with Mescal, confirming Haigh's belief that the trust they had in each other behind the camera helped enrich their interpretations.

Love scenes

"Paul is incredibly talented and I would be in a very different situation with someone else," says Scott. "We did a lot of love scenes together and it's important to have someone you laugh with and look after you. The story has a lot of sadness and he can interpret it with a lightness that many actors lack."

Much of the film's emotional punch comes from the tender, heartbreaking and healing bond between Adam and his parents when he returns to his home and spends time with them. His dead parents are at the same time alive, and indeed at the same age as they were when they were killed. It's a unique and endearing sense of paradox, but one that works effortlessly. "I needed actors who looked like Andrew's parents, maybe my own," says Haigh. "I think of them together as a family."

With Jamie Bell and Claire Foy, Haigh felt he had found the perfect duo. “With material like this, which is so sensitive and emotional, the personal element is tempting. The role is great,” says Bell. Foy, Bell's partner on the big screen, explains, “I knew I was playing the part as Adam remembered me. Surprisingly, we felt like family."

"I believed it was my parents, and I think that a lot of times that boldness is missing in directing," says Scott. "We're asking the public to do some work and use their imagination." "Oh my god, I love Claire," Bell smiles. "She is a very skilled actress. He had a complex role: he doesn't fully accept Adam, what he has become and that was something very interesting. We could imagine that the father would be the one who is not comfortable with the idea that his son is gay."

The fact that Adam reveals to his parents that he is gay is one of the narrative strengths of the story and is aptly rendered by the strong interpretations . "When you work with fantastic people you don't worry," says Bell.

Through the filter of the '80s

The sequences that follow Adam returning to his childhood home take place in a version of our world through the filter of the '80s, like a dreamy, hazy and nostalgic memory. To enhance realism and emphasize Haigh's personal connection to the story, some scenes were shot in his actual childhood home . "When I thought of my father's house, it was mine and when we were preparing for the shoot I went back to the area I grew up in, outside Croydon," explains Haigh. “I hadn't been in 40 years, since we moved in when I was ten. Perhaps a bit foolishly, I decided it might be a good idea to try to find the house I lived in.'

While there are the inevitable changes in the house that Haigh knew, the director admits that dressing the new set wasn't as demanding. “The guy who lives in the house now hasn't decorated it in thirty years. So much has remained the same. It was like walking into a half-forgotten memory. It was the strangest feeling." According to Scott, Haigh appeared very calm on set. "He was incredibly brave, because obviously a lot of emotions were triggered. But he never made it about himself, he makes you feel like it's your own story."

As far as the set is concerned, the set design team helped to underline the authenticity. “When I walked into Adam's childhood bedroom, there were a lot of things that I had in my room. I was taking pictures and sending them to my siblings! It was a beautiful representation and very meticulous,” says Scott. And Foy recognized things from her own childhood. "There would probably only be one store," she says jokingly. “There were so many things that I had too. Like the same sheets, the same desk lamp, the same carpet. It was surreal and made me think about what my children will say about our homes in forty years," says the actress.

Make-up and hairstylist Zoe Clare Brown was tasked with making Foy and Bell look like they were straight out of the 80's. "But Andrew [Haigh] didn't want to overdo it with the clichés of that particular decade," says Brown.

The parallel romantic journey of the film takes place in modern London . The scenes take place from the skyscraper where Adam and Paul live, to the club, which hosts much of the film and was filmed at London's legendary Vauxhall Tavern. The apartments of the skyscraper were built in a studio for reasons of functionality, while outside the windows instead of a green screen, the crew placed several screens. "I wanted the environment that Adam lives in to reflect his state of mind," explains Haigh. "A declaration of his loneliness."

In depth

"Adam longs to see his parents again, he aches to get to know them," says Haigh. "Perhaps if he finds them again he will feel relieved and close a chapter after a terrible loss. But it is not an easy task, nostalgia can hide a different truth and parents are products of their time. Adam must come to terms with his own sensitive nature, having grown up in the '80s and '90s. Perhaps we have two traumas, intertwined, which prevent him from finding peace." Haigh continues, “ I wanted the film to have the texture of the past , so I shot it on 35 film. I wanted the film to be reminiscent, if not a dream, of that moment before you fall asleep or the moment after you wake up from a dream, which you still don't know if it's real."

Instead of playing with the metaphysical elements, Haigh focused on the concept of memory. " Memories define us . They define what we have become, our character, for better or for worse. I dug deep into my childhood memories. It was a painful and liberating experience. Adam becomes a child again. I think we can all relate to this idea of ​​going back and redefining the relationship with parents. I wanted it to be a redemptive experience for Adam and indeed a complex catharsis . I want the audience to feel the same."

The creator adds, “ the film is about how we assimilate pain into our lives . The pain will never go away, it always finds a hiding place, but it doesn't mean you can't move on." Bell admits that the shoot moved him and affected him as a parent. “Adam's parents went out one night and never came back. Life is so unpredictable , "says the actor. "Life goes by in a moment. It's a bit of a cliché, but it would be great for viewers to go home and hug their kids."

Scott comments with a smile, “it was a very emotional shoot. I really connected with a lot of people, being gay myself, and having those experiences of hoping that your family will stand by you when you tell them who you are. I think, of course, that it's not something that only gays experience. Everyone wants to feel connected to their families .'

" The film is about finding the connection with others . Finding real connection in a world that seems impersonal or cold. The film is very moving . We have two men who want to get close to the world and the people around them and struggle to find the connection. I was able to identify with it and empathize with the characters,” says Mescal.

Scott also examines the romantic aspect and what brings two souls together. "Harry is a very different character to Adam," says the actor. "They are both vulnerable. It's one of those situations where they see each other and love each other instantly. One of the challenges we had with Paul was how to show their chemistry without saying too much about their biography. Because the characters have to have something mysterious."

"I've made enough films now to know that people can respond differently, but what I want is to provoke questions and emotions," says Haigh. "All of us have had children and most of us will lose our parents. Many of us will become parents and have children who will be adults in no time. Many of us will find love, lose it, and love again, even if it doesn't last forever," Haigh continues. "And we all understand how complex and important these relationships are, and I hope that when you leave the movie theater, you will feel, more than anything, the power of love."'

[drmohamedbaselaswad]

Dr. Mohamed Basel Aswad One Man's Journey in Oncology

Oncology is a specialized medical field that focuses on the diagnosis and treatment of cancer. As a highly complex discipline, it requires an in-depth understanding of various types of cancers, their causes and potential treatments. This field heavily relies on research, as new forms of treatment, diagnosis, and preventive measures are frequently being discovered. Oncology plays a vital role in the quest to reduce the global burden of cancer, striving to improve the quality of life for patients and their families.

Dr. Mohamed Basel Aswad, a highly respected and esteemed professional in the field of oncology, has been making a significant impact for over two decades. With unwavering dedication and commitment, he has devoted his entire career to assisting patients in their battle against cancer, ensuring they receive the utmost care and support. Driven by a genuine passion for improving the lives of those affected by this disease, he consistently strives to stay at the forefront of innovative treatments and breakthroughs. His expertise and compassionate approach have earned him a well-deserved reputation as an invaluable asset in the fight against cancer.

His remarkable journey in the field of oncology started with his medical degree from the prestigious University of Aleppo Faculty of Medicine, located in Syria. Throughout his academic journey, he displayed exceptional dedication and passion, reflected in his outstanding performance and numerous accolades for his remarkable achievements. His unwavering commitment to excellence and thirst for knowledge have set him on a path of continuous growth and success in the fascinating world of oncology.

After completing his education and training, Dr. Mohamed Basel Aswad started his professional experience as a practicing oncologist. Throughout the years, he has held various roles and responsibilities in different healthcare institutions, gaining valuable knowledge and expertise along the way.

Completing his medical degree with flying colors, Mohamed embarked on a bold new chapter in his life, fueled by a burning passion for advancing medical knowledge and making a profound impact in the field of oncology. With unwavering determination, he overcame numerous obstacles and embarked on a transformative journey to the United States, a decision that would shape the trajectory of his professional pathway.

By immersing himself in the vibrant medical community of the United States, he found himself at the epicenter of cutting-edge medical advancements and groundbreaking research in the field of oncology. This unparalleled exposure to the latest breakthroughs and collaborations with esteemed experts served as a catalyst for his own growth and innovation, enabling him to push the boundaries of medical practice and offer the best possible care to his patients.

One of the notable institutions where Dr. Mohamed Basel Aswad has made a significant impact is the renowned Mimbres Memorial Hospital. With his vast experience and unwavering commitment, Dr. Aswad has been a valuable asset to the hospital for many years. His exceptional contributions have not only elevated the institution's reputation but have also positively impacted the lives of countless patients.

Through his extensive expertise in oncology, Dr. Aswad has played a pivotal role in enabling Mimbres Memorial Hospital to deliver unparalleled oncology services to its community. With cutting-edge treatments, state-of-the-art technology, and personalized care, the hospital has become a beacon of hope for cancer patients, providing them with the highest quality of medical support and compassion.

With relentless dedication to advancing medical knowledge and an unwavering commitment to improving patient outcomes, the landscape of oncology care at Mimbres Memorial Hospital  was undoubtedly transformed. Through pioneering research and innovative practices, Dr. Mohamed Basel Aswad has brought about a new era of personalized treatment options, providing hope and healing to countless patients.

His contributions to the field have not only elevated the standard of care but have also inspired a new generation of healthcare professionals to follow in his footsteps. His tireless efforts have not only saved lives but have also inspired and motivated the entire healthcare team to strive for excellence in delivering compassionate and innovative care.

Thanks to his exceptional expertise, unwavering dedication, and profound impact, Mimbres Memorial Hospital continues to stand as a leading institution in providing top-notch oncology services. Driven by a relentless commitment to excellence, they have set a benchmark for outstanding patient care, making a positive difference in the lives of countless individuals and the community as a whole. Their compassionate approach, innovative treatments, and personalized care have earned them a reputation as a shining example of the transformative power of a dedicated physician. With every patient they touch, Dr. Aswad and the team at Mimbres Memorial Hospital continue to shape and elevate the standard of healthcare in oncology.

Dr. Mohamed Basel Aswad's dedication to the field of oncology goes beyond his professional experience. He has also been actively involved in conducting research and participating in medical conferences, constantly striving to enhance his knowledge and stay updated with the latest advancements in cancer treatment. His continuous efforts have made him a well-respected figure in the medical community.

Through his decades of dedication, Dr. Aswad has not only helped countless patients in their fight against cancer but has also inspired many aspiring oncologists to pursue this noble profession. His journey in oncology serves as a testament to the impact one can make with passion, hard work, and determination. His evident commitment to oncology will continue to inspire future generations of healthcare professionals for years to come. His journey is an inspiring example and a reminder that with dedication, anything is possible in the field of medicine.

[riyab12]

Preface In the megacity of Pune, famed for its medical moxie, one name shines brightly in the field of cardiology –Dr. Rahul Sawant.

Preface In the megacity of Pune, famed for its medical moxie, one name shines brightly in the field of cardiology –Dr. Rahul Sawant. With his exceptional chops, expansive knowledge, and compassionate approach,Dr. Sawant has earned a character as a trusted and largely sought- after cardiologist. Cases in Pune and beyond have served from his moxie, making him a reputed figure in the realm of cardiovascular health. unequaled moxie and Education Rahul Sawant is a largely professed cardiologist with a wealth of experience in diagnosing and treating a wide range of cardiac conditions. He completed his medical education from a prestigious institution, and his fidelity to excellence led him to pursue farther specialization in cardiology.Dr. Sawant passed rigorous training and attained hispost-graduate degree in cardiology, solidifying his moxie in the field. Specialized Cardiac Care Sawant's practice in Pune focuses on furnishing comprehensive cardiac care to cases of all periods. He specializes in managing colorful cardiac conditions, including coronary roadway complaint, heart failure, arrhythmias, hypertension, and preventative cardiology.Dr. Sawant's holistic approach to patient care ensures that each individual receives substantiated attention, accurate opinion, and effective treatment plans. Cutting- edge ways and Technology Staying abreast of the rearmost advancements in cardiology,Dr. Rahul Sawant incorporates state- of- the- art ways and technologies into his practice. He utilizes advanced individual tools, similar as echocardiography, stress testing, cardiac catheterization, and cardiac imaging, to directly estimate cardiac health and formulate acclimatized treatment strategies.Dr. Sawant's commitment to staying at the van of his field ensures that his cases admit the most over- to- date and effective care available. Compassionate Case Care Sawant's compassionate and patient- centric approach sets him piecemeal as a cardiologist. He understands the impact that cardiac conditions can have on a person's well- being and quality of life. With his compassionate nature and excellent communication chops,Dr. Sawant ensures that each case feels heard, understood, and supported throughout their cardiac care trip. cooperative Approach and Patient Education Rahul Sawant believes in fostering a cooperative relationship with his cases. He takes the time to educate cases about their cardiac condition, explaining the underpinning causes, treatment options, and life variations.Dr. Sawant empowers his cases to laboriously share in their own care, making informed opinions to ameliorate their cardiac health. His emphasis on patient education ensures that individualities have the knowledge and tools to manage their condition effectively. Trust and Case witnesses Sawant's commitment to excellence and case well- being has earned him the trust and appreciation of multitudinous cases in Pune. Cases frequently praise his clinical moxie, thoroughness, and substantiated care. witnesses from satisfied cases punctuateDr. Sawant's capability to give accurate judgments , effective treatment plans, and compassionate support, performing in bettered cardiac health and enhanced quality of life.

[helisol]

dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,, 

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi! 

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second. 

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose. 

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right? 

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer.  and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right? 

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo. 

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person. 

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me”  for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo. 

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

[alarawriting]

52 Project #24: The Princesses and the Peas

(Inspired by a post on Tumblr and if I can ever find it again I will link it here.)

(Not proofread, beta’ed, or even read through a second time because this is massively late and if I don’t post within the next hour it will officially be next week everywhere in the United States and I will have failed in my mission. I’ll try to re-read and proofread and edit next week. Also this note is highly unprofessional, but I learned my relationship to my audience through fanfic, so this is how I roll.)

***

Surely you have heard a similar tale before, almost but not entirely like this one, of the queen who sought the perfect wife for her son, the crown prince.

The queen had ruled the land alone since the death of her husband. She was praised for her wisdom and her benevolence toward her people. But she was no longer young, and it was time to make sure her son made a politically beneficial marriage, to strengthen his position when it came time for him to take the crown. Many in the land whispered that the young man would make a terrible king, and wanted him to abdicate in favor of his younger sister, who was beautiful and bright and smiling. Celia, the young sister, could look anyone in the eye and make them believe that in that moment, they were the most important person in her world. Arien, the prince… could not do that.

The prince had a talent for mathematics, and it had expressed itself very young. Some said he should be the chancellor of the exchequer rather than the king. But Queen Leyta knew her son would make a compassionate and wise ruler as well as a prudent one. He also had a gift for seeing the humanity behind the numbers he calculated, of being able to think of the impact they would have on the people he would one day rule.

Once, when he was a child of six, his nursemaid lost him. Leyta found him behind the kitchens, picking through the garbage bins to find table scraps. She would have punished the kitchen staff for allowing such a thing, but Arien insisted that she should not. “It’s not their fault, Mother. I ordered them to let me, and I’m the prince, so they had to obey me. I told them that if you became angry at them I would tell you that they were only obeying my orders. They can’t get in trouble for obeying their liege.”

Leyta sighed. She could punish them for obeying their liege, when their liege was 6 and the thing he wanted to do was eat garbage, but she wouldn’t, because she knew why they obeyed. When the prince was thwarted, he would ask why. And if he received an answer, he would argue with it and present his position. Sometimes, this debate would lead to him accepting the necessity, and calmly going about his business, seeming to forget all about what he’d asked. More often, if he didn’t get an answer to “why”, or he didn’t like the answer and thought it didn’t make sense, and he was still thwarted, he would start to scream and hide under tables, or scream and run around and break things, or scream and slam his head into the wall, and he wouldn’t stop even when offered the thing he wanted. It was very, very hard to calm him once he started shrieking. So instead of punishing the kitchen staff, she asked Arien, “Why were you eating garbage?”

“Our food is bought with the taxes we take from the people,” he said seriously. “If we wasted less food, we wouldn’t have to tax the people as sorely as we do, and they would have more money to buy things for themselves.”

So she took him aside and told him that the scraps were fed to the dogs, who helped the palace huntsmen bring down game, or the goats and fowl, who gave the palace milk, meat and eggs, or they were tilled into the ground to make the fields around the palace more fruitful. They did not, in fact, go to waste; food that wasn’t wholesome for humans to eat could still feed animals, who would turn it back into wholesome food.

Then she had a lengthy discussion with him about tax policy, and listened gravely to his suggestions as to how they could ease the burdens on the people, and told him what the problems with his ideas were. And when some of his ideas didn’t have significant problems, she told him so, and discussed them with him, and even implemented a few as policy.

Arien also had a great love for bugs. He spent much of his days wandering the grounds, sketching every insect he saw, capturing some to study them and figure out what they ate. When Leyta learned of this, she found a learned scholar of insects, and hired him to be Arien’s tutor in the matter of insects, only. The man was at first openly resentful of being required to work with a small child, assuming that Arien would be a spoiled princeling with no real interest in learning, but when he discovered Arien’s love for the tiny creatures, he embraced the boy wholeheartedly and tutored him as well as he could.

The prince had few friends. He was open and innocent, happy to make friends with any child close to his own age, but the honest children who truly wanted a playmate were put off by Arien’s tendency to talk about bugs and math almost constantly. The children who put up with Arien’s chatter were, to Leyta’s eyes, obviously coached by ambitious mothers, pretending to friendship with the strange young prince to improve their position at court. She arranged for most of these children to be sent away – either their mothers dismissed, or the family sent to one of the crown’s holdings with some duty to perform or another. Arien was saddened by the disappearance of his playmates, since he didn’t realize they saw him as mere stepping stones to power. Celia knew, and would comfort her brother as well as she could… but she didn’t have a lot of patience for math, tax policy, and insects either.

As he grew up, Arien continued to display a strange mixture of wisdom and childishness. He would run around the palace grounds, playing with children far younger than he was, and they were not old enough to try to manipulate him, so Queen Leyta left them alone. He enjoyed riding his horse and taking care of it, and was often found at the stables, for he believed his horse needed to cared for in just the exact way he did it, and he didn’t trust the stablehands to follow his instructions exactly. He would spend hours discussing the politics of the land and the problems facing various groups of his subjects with Leyta and her own advisors, and then he would scream and throw himself on the floor at dinner because a chef had put visible onions in his soup, and he would need to be put to bed with his favorite blanket and a knitted doll of a dog that he’d had when he was four.

People said that the boy was touched in the head, that he was slightly mad, and also, that a future king who threw temper tantrums over onions was not to be trusted. But they weren’t, exactly, tantrums, as Leyta saw them. They didn’t stop when the problem was solved, they usually didn’t include demands – in fact, usually it was hard to get the prince to explain what was wrong, because he seemed to lose much of his ability to speak when these fits came on him. And she could see in his eyes that he was terrified and overwhelmed, not angry and demanding. Arien needed the world to work a certain way, and when it did not, it left him adrift, frightened and lost in a world that seemed to make no sense to him anymore.

Some of these ways that the world needed to work involved food, and the importance of not being able to see onions, for an onion large enough to see was large enough to crunch in his mouth in a way that apparently was so disgusting it would make him lose his ability to eat all day. There were similar rules regarding peppers, and certain cream dishes. Other ways the world needed to work regarded his mother’s advisors treating him like their future king, not in terms of obsequious deference but in terms of actually listening to his ideas and explaining things to him – even when he was merely eight. And then there was the care of animals – his own animals needed to be cared for in an exact way, and if he saw anyone being cruel to an animal, he might actually become violent to that person. The same was true of stronger people being cruel to weaker ones. When he was fourteen, he heard a maid crying, and asked a kitchen maid to find out for him what had happened. And then, when he learned that a nobleman under his roof had ill used her and cast her aside, he went to his mother and demanded the man be whipped for his crimes. The political explanations she gave for why that couldn’t be done fell on deaf ears; he was a cruel man and he’d harmed someone he had power over, and that was all Arien cared about. Leyta only managed to satisfy him by sending the man on a probably futile sea expedition to try to find a cheaper source of rice.

This was the boy that Queen Leyta had to find a proper bride for.

Her mother-in-law, the Dowager Queen, had ideas, but it had been many years since the Dowager Queen had actually held any power; she was one of Leyta’s advisors now, nothing more. So the idea would have to be one that Leyta agreed with, herself.

A ball to introduce eligible young women with powerful families to the prince? No. The prince didn’t handle crowds or parties well, or meeting a lot of new people in one evening.

A series of daytime salons, where a small group of eligible women would converse over luncheon with the prince? No. That was still too many people and the prince  was self-conscious about people watching him eat.

Individual visits from each eligible young lady and her chaperones, to the palace, to meet with Arien, and also to be approved by Leyta? Yes! An excellent idea. Leyta had her secretary write up the invitations, to all the young women whose parents had written to her or the Dowager to express an interest.

In the palace was a suite of rooms that had been Leyta’s, once, when she’d lived in this palace to learn its ways before marrying the then-prince. She had that suite cleaned and prepared for the guests. Sleeping quarters to either side for the princess’s guards. Ladies-in-waiting to sleep in the antechamber outside the princess’s bedroom. And inside the princess’s bedroom, a bed heaped with several thick eiderdown duvets and pillows, incredibly soft, with sheets made from the finest linens.

And under the second eiderdown duvet, dried peas.

Queen Leyta tested the peas. When she sat on the bed, she couldn’t feel them. If she laid in the bed, she could barely tell they were there. But when she had Arien try it, he said, “You’re going to take them out before the guests come, right? The peas make the bed much too uncomfortable.”

“The peas,” Leyta said, “are to test whether a girl is right for you or not. It’s magic.”

Arien looked at her skeptically, unsure whether he believed in magic or not. “How are dried peas supposed to find me the right wife?”

“Magic,” Leyta said. “I can’t tell you exactly how it works. But it’s very important that you not tell them about the peas, or the magic won’t work.”

“Mother, I’m sixteen. I’m not a child. This whole story sounds ridiculous.”

“All right,” Leyta admitted. “It’s not magic, but I won’t be able to explain it to you until after it’s proven that it works, or doesn’t. But it is very important that you not tell any of your guests about it.”

Arien looked like he wanted to argue some more about it. Leyta said, “Trust me,” and he sighed, plainly remembering the number of times his mother had stood up for him or had come up with some scheme to help him.

“All right, Mother, but I’ll want that explanation afterwards.”

The Dowager Queen had her own theories. “You want to see if they can tell the peas are there?”

“To a certain extent,” Leyta said.

“You know that old wives’ tale about princesses being true and refined if they’re extremely sensitive is just a myth. I wasn’t a fragile flower who’d lose petals if you looked at her hard, and neither were you. And neither will Celia be.”

“I know that, Mother,” Leyta said – it was custom to address your mother-in-law as Mother, and Leyta’s own mother had died shortly after her wedding. The Dowager Queen had been the closest thing to a mother she’d had the entire time she was Queen. “I’m not testing for extreme skin sensitivity. Trust me.”

“It’d be hard for him to get an heir on a princess that fragile, don’t you think?” The Dowager chortled.

Leyta sighed. “No need to be crude about it. I have my reasons, and I’ll explain them to you, eventually. Let’s see if it works, first.”

***

The first princess was from the west. She had long straight hair and delicate-looking eyes with folded lids that left them shaped like almonds, rather than the eggs that the people of this realm wore in their face. She had pale creamy skin with a golden undertone, and she was demure and very polite, her etiquette perfect. She sat with Arien for hours, smiling at him with a face that expressed great interest, as he explained to her the complexities of life in a beehive.

In the morning, Leyta asked her, “How did you sleep?”

“Oh, wonderfully,” the princess said. “The bed was perfect! So soft! Your hospitality is wonderful.” She bowed her head.

Leyta saw her and her entourage off. When she returned, she asked Arien, “What did you think of her?”

“She was nice,” Arien said. “She listened to me. I’ve only had a few friends who listened to me, and they all moved away.”

Privately, without Arien present, the Dowager asked, “So what’s your verdict?”

“Unless none of them pass the test, she’s a no.”

***

The second princess was from the land immediately to the north. Her skin was tree- brown but as smooth as a tranquil lake, her hair floating around her head in a soft, curly cloud. Arien talked to her about beetles. She made excuses of not feeling well about half an hour into the beetle discussion.

When Leyta asked her how she slept, she said, “Your rooms are very nice. And the food last night was excellent, I’m so sorry I had to cut the evening short. But I feel fully rejuvenated today.”

Arien said, “She seemed okay, but she kept looking around while I was talking to her, so much that I think she gave herself motion sickness. I think that’s why she got sick.”

Leyta said to the Dowager, “A definite no.”

***

The third princess was from the far south. She had beautiful straight golden hair, cut short and asymmetrically, where it was shorter in the back than front and where it was parted on one side rather than in the middle.

She complained about her soup being cold. She complained about her roast beef being too bloody. She complained that the dessert course had small portions and also that it was too sweet. She screamed at servants for not bringing her wet towels for wiping her hands quickly enough and for refilling her wine glass too quickly. She insisted on talking to the seneschal about the servants who had served her, demanding that they be banished from the castle for incompetence. When Arien tried to talk to her, her demeanor was sweet, but every time he tried to talk to her about something he liked, she insisted that he show her another part of the castle. She made plans for room redecoration as if she had already become Arien’s queen.

In the morning, she was sickly sweet with Leyta, saying it was only a minor thing, really, but surely more competent servants could be found to make the bed? It was extremely lumpy. Leyta found out that she’d woken the chambermaids at 1 in the morning to demand an additional five featherbeds piled on top of hers.

Arien didn’t look at his mother. “Um… I don’t want to be impolite, but… I didn’t like her very much.”

The Dowager Queen said, “Please don’t tell me you’re considering that young harridan just because she could tell there were peas in the bed.”

“Oh, no. Not even for a moment,” said Leyta, and drew her quill through the name “Princess Carinna” on the list.

***

The fourth princess was actually the daughter of a powerful merchant, not an actual princess at all. She had deeply tanned skin and thick black hair, and beautiful dark eyes. She and Arien talked for hours about tax policy and accounting techniques, and she seemed genuinely interested.

She said the bed had been wonderful, and there was nothing wrong with it. Arien liked her. But Queen Leyta marked her as a provisional choice, the first on the list if no one passed her test.

***

And so it went with princess after princess. Most of them showed at least some slight sign of impatience when Arien monopolized the conversation, but none of them admitted to it, and few even tried to change the topic. No others were as rude as Carinna. No others admitted to detecting the peas, either. Leyta was on the verge of contacting the merchant to make an offer for his daughter to wed Arien. And then Princess Inaya arrived.

Princess Inaya was from further north than the second princess had been, her skin darker and her hair in braids that lay directly against her head, with ribbons and beads woven into them at the bottom. She didn’t look Leyta in the eye – or anyone else, really, keeping her head bowed demurely. She picked at her food, more or less eating only the potatoes, and she barely spoke… until she met with Arien.

He offered, diffidently, to show her the garden, and she accepted. He started to point out interesting bugs that he saw in the garden… and she began to point out interesting rocks. They soon began an animated conversation that sounded to Leyta more like two separate threads, where Arien would say a sentence or two about insects, then yield to Inaya, who would say a sentence or two about rocks. Sometimes they had a genuine back-and-forth when they talked about the habitats of pillbugs, who lived under rocks, or other areas where rocks and insects somehow intersected. Arien showed Inaya the notebook where he drew bugs and made his observations, and Inaya seemed to be thrilled with his artistic skill. She showed him her own notebook, with no art at all, where she wrote down the properties of rocks she had discovered and outlined the tests she did on stones to see what they were made of. Arien was fascinated with the efforts she’d gone to and how thoroughly she’d documented her findings; he’d never thought of doing anything to research the insects aside from looking them up in his tutor’s books.

At no point did she ever look Arien in the eye. At no point did he seem to care. He relaxed enough with Inaya to flap his hands when he grew excited; Inaya had a chain of polished stones that, instead of wearing around her neck, she tossed in the air as she paced.

In the morning, when Leyta asked Inaya how she slept, she squirmed.

“I, um. The bed was mostly very nice. Very good linens, nice soft down. But, uh. It felt like maybe there were… tiny pebbles in there somewhere? I’m not sure, I didn’t want to be rude and strip down the bed to look, but, uh. It was kind of uncomfortable.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Leyta said.

She made arrangements to ask Arien his opinion before Inaya’s entourage left, this time. He spoke very simply. “I love her. Pick her, she’s the one.”

“I thought you would say that,” Leyta said, and she finished drafting the offer to Inaya’s parents, and signed it. “Take this to her lady-in-waiting before they leave, to give to Inaya’s parents.”

“I can’t!” Arien said, looking all around. “I can’t be the one to do it because I have to give her a parting gift if I see her and I don’t have any nice rocks!”

So Leyta gave him a bracelet with a large inset opal, and smaller jades all around it. “Take this to her and tell her which kinds of stones are in it, and tell her she can wear it as a bracelet if she wants, or take it apart for the stones, whichever she prefers.”

Later she heard that Inaya collapsed on the ground crying when he made the offer, but that her lady-in-waiting reassured Arien that this wasn’t abnormal – that she did this whenever her emotions were too strong to control, even if they were happy emotions. Inaya confirmed that she was crying from relief and joy, because she had always thought that no man would ever want to marry her and if one did, he would hate her rocks and want her to do normal womanly things like embroidery or something, which she wasn’t good at in the slightest because her coordination was bad and she was always poking the needle into the wrong place, and she had never imagined that she would ever find a man who understood her and didn’t demand that she look in his eyes and liked to listen to her talk about what she loved. Then Arien asked her very gravely if she liked hugs, because most of the time he didn’t like hugs, especially when they were a surprise, but if she would like a hug he really wanted to give her one. They hugged, and declared mutual love (“as far as I can define the feeling of love, anyway,” Inaya said, “because I don’t think I’ve ever been in love before, so how can I know for sure that that’s what this is?” Arien had agreed with her, but said “I think that even if what we’re feeling isn’t the same kind of thing as other people feel when they’re in love, it’s close enough that we can use the same word, because who wants to have to make up a new word?” And then they spent several minutes amusing each other to the point of hysterical laughter in making up new words that sounded ridiculous, sometimes repeating them to each other ten or a dozen times.) When Inaya finally had to leave, Arien cried.

Leyta wasn’t there for any of that, but her spies were everywhere in the castle.

***

When the Dowager demanded that she explain her test, Leyta summoned Arien, who had washed his face so it looked more as if he had had a terrible runny nose and sneezes than that he’d been crying.

“You asked me about what it would prove, to put peas in the bed,” Leyta said, “and I was looking for two things, but one was more important than the other.”

“What were you looking for?” Arien asked.

“Arien… you know that you’re a special young man, and different in some ways than other people your age. I’ve consulted with many scholars. Children like you are often strangely sensitive to things that other people don’t notice… often to the point where it’s unpleasant. Such as your feelings about onions.”

He shuddered. “Please do not remind me of the existence of those devil vegetables.”

Leyta laughed. The Dowager scowled. Leyta knew she preferred that a king, or a crown prince who’d just been betrothed, have a serious demeanor. She also knew that Arien would be who he was, no matter what anyone asked him to be.

“So I thought, the peas might be noticeable to some of the girls, but they would be especially notable to a girl who was like Arien. More importantly, if a girl noticed it but claimed she didn’t… Arien, I know you are often taken off guard by lies, and you’re a very honest man yourself. I know you would prefer a wife who will tell you when something makes her unhappy, rather than her trying to guess how you feel about it and then telling you what she thinks you want to hear.”

Arien nodded. “Nobody can see inside someone else’s mind, so why would anyone even do that?”

“I wanted a girl who would be honest about something she found unpleasant, even if she had to offend her host to admit it. But, obviously, kindness and compassion and a lack of malice about it were necessary as well… we don’t want a Carinna anywhere near the rulership of the kingdom.”

“You can say that again,” Arien said. Leyta suspected he was setting her up so she could tell a joke.

“But I won’t, because I know you heard it the first time,” she said, smiling.

The Dowager frowned. “So you picked a girl who has the same kinds of problems as Arien? Was that wise? The kingdom may need rulers who understand the idea of telling lies when they must, who can be charming and adept with politics. I thought you’d pick a girl who would cover Arien’s weaknesses, not one with the same issues.”

“Your son understood me,” Leyta said simply. “It was an arranged marriage, but we quickly grew to love each other, because we respected and we understood each other. I don’t want the kingdom to have a queen who resents her husband because she thinks he’s strange… who may play politics behind the scenes to have him killed so she can take power. Or who takes lovers, so we don’t know if the royal blood is even in the heirs. It’s more important to me that Arien’s wife respects him and understands him, and that he understands and respects her, than to have rulers who can detect all the subterranean undercurrents of a conversation. That’s what spymasters are for… and Dowager mothers and grandmothers, and perhaps even younger sisters.”

“Mother,” Arien said, “thank you. I know the people think I’m strange, and maybe I am, but you’ve always watched out for me. I didn’t even know I needed to find a wife who wouldn’t lie to protect my feelings until you pointed it out, and now it’s obvious.” He looked at the Dowager. “And Grandmother, Inaya does complement me. I understand mathematics, and finance, and things like that. She was trained by her parents to understand logistics, so she could run the castle, but she went deeper with it; she understands things about what kind of weather will do things to the crops and what will happen to the farmers when that occurs, things I never even thought about asking. Together I think she and I can make our country one of the most prosperous and happy nations in the world.”

***

And so it came to be. Prince Arien and Princess Inaya were wed in a lovely ceremony that they immediately fled to go on their honeymoon as soon as the marriage vows were taken. They understood the economics of the nation, and other nations, as few kings and queens ever did, and when they needed someone to tell them that someone else was lying, they had the Dowager Leyta and Princess Celia. The country prospered as it never had before, with no beggars on the streets of the cities, because the King and Queen gave homes to those who had none, and living expenses to those too sick or weak or lacking in some ability so that they couldn’t work.

It would be a lie to say they lived happily ever after, because no human can be happy all the time, and they had arguments and problems in their relationship from time to time. But even Arien the Honest and his Queen would agree that we can say they lived mostly happily for the rest of their lives.

[illuminatedquill]

Nevertheless, Do Hyeok’s Confession

Let’s talk about why this scene is currently my favorite in the entire show so far.

(Chae Jong Hyeop really deserved to be listed as second lead in this show and while I have major kudos to Song Kang and Han So Hee for their performances, I’m saddened that Chae Jong Hyeop doesn’t get the same recognition. He absolutely nails his character and gives him depth beyond the “Nice Guy” label that people give him.)

Nevertheless is such a difficult show to watch for me because it challenges my fundamental beliefs about love and how you should treat each other in a relationship. I have a LOT of issues with the characters (well, the main leads, really) but it does an excellent job in portraying these different relationships and, most importantly, love; how it blinds us, breaks us, drives us, and motivates our day to day actions without us realizing.

Yu Na Bi, hiding away from the world, viewing everyone with a cynical eye; the burned out romantic, hurt by love. Her initial relationship with Park Jae Un made sense to her at the time; she could have the perks of being in a couple (having fun, spending time together, the physical intimacy) without any of the downsides (emotions, the risk of being hurt, breaking up). But, Na Bi, is ultimately still a believer in love. It doesn’t take long for the cracks to form in the relationship as she desires more from Jae Un. And when he is unable to give it, she breaks up with him.

Park Jae Un, the playboy with some unknown trauma that leads him to treat women as disposable flings, never committing to a relationship. I can’t speak too much about why he does what he does; it hasn’t been revealed in the show, yet. But he and Na Bi are similar in that they’ve been hurt by people they loved in the past; her cynicism and his refusal to commit are symptoms of this wound. It’s one of the reasons why they’re so drawn together in this never ending toxic loop. Their inability to love courageously and be sincere is why their relationship suffers so much and is probably doomed to fail. (I hope.)

And then, there’s Yang Do Hyeok. Just a regular, decent guy who was Na Bi’s childhood best friend. They meet again on a bus one random night and hit it off immediately. And you can already see that Do Hyeok’s feelings for Na Bi from childhood never faded. Love is a spectrum; you’ve got Jae Un on one end, where his love is motivated by lust, possessiveness, and a hunger to fill up his own emotional needs - a love that is all consuming, all of it tainted with selfishness and ego; Na Bi, in the middle, stuck between wanting to hide away or moving forward, ready to risk it all, all the while being torn from her indecision - a love that paralyzes, weighs down a person with its heaviness, a weight she can’t lift because she’s so hurt; and then Do Hyeok on the other side, with his love that seeks to uplift, heal, and inspire compassion - a love that is selfless, brave, and kind without ego or thought of reward.

All of this is love. Guess which one I believe in and aspire to.

Do Hyeok, baring his heart out. He knows how it will end, he’s seen the looks passing between Jae Un and Na Bi all night, he can feel the tension ratcheting up between them. But he tries, anyway, and the outcome arrives as he knows it will.

And it doesn’t matter. Na Bi is crying, and he is hurting, but it doesn’t matter. He loves her. Unconditionally. And he walls away his hurt and he is KIND to her. Compassionate. Understanding. He spent so much time on this event, and he sits on the ruin of his yearning and anticipation and feelings and IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER. Because Na Bi is crying and he wants to help her. Because he’s Do Hyeok and he loves her.

He’s been hurt terribly yet he doubles down in his trust and love for her. Because that’s how much he cares. He puts HER feelings first before his own.

(Ask yourself; how would Jae Un have handled this? Exactly.)

And the way he reassures her. God, it’s so good.

“Are you disappointed in me?”

“Yes. But I knew I was going to be disappointed tonight, so a little thing like this isn’t going to make me disappointed in you.”

“You’re romanticizing me.”

“Then just keep disappointing me. I like you so much, I don’t know what to do.”

(I think the dialogue is a little lost in translation but Do Hyeok basically says that she can keep hurting him; it doesn’t change how he feels about her.)

This scene, this confession, this moment in the entire toxic mess that is Nevertheless, hits so hard because of how wholesome it is. Love at its more pure, beautiful, and kind. I want to scream to the rooftops over and over how amazingly KIND Do Hyeok is. It’s not a trait we usually hype up in most media, especially in male characters. But it should be. We should make it fucking SEXY and spread it around. The potent power in kindness is limitless; how we reach for each other in times of need and hurting to make someone else feel better. To share in their pain and lift it’s weight, even for just a little bit.

He was kind, he was kind, he was KIND. And you see Na Bi’s eyes literally opened to just how amazing Do Hyeok is. And she thinks that he is romanticizing her considering who she is now. But that’s not it. Love doesn’t blind you to your partner’s flaws but recognizes that they are an essential part in who they are. And loving them anyway.

Na Bi thinks she doesn’t deserve Do Hyeok. She doesn’t want to let him down. She probably thinks that she’ll mess him up with her problems. But to Do Hyeok, it doesn’t matter; whatever troubles she faces, whatever hurt she sends his way, he will stand by her; and we know Na Bi and her problems all too well, and it will be hard work to care for her. That’s probably why she doesn’t allow herself to have feelings for him at the moment; it will be hell if he stays by her side, if she invites him in.

(But not to him. Not if it’s her.)

“Oh, it must be nice

To love someone

Who lets you break them twice”

- Finneas, “Break My Heart Again”

[jeannereames]

Hi, I'm curious about the incident with the Pages, what exactly happened with that? Was Alexander not exactly a "kid" person and the pages didn't really bond with him? It seems extreme for them to want him dead. I thought of Alexander as a people person who wanted to be liked. He seemed to care about his brother, even with his disability. Maybe that's just Renault's influence since her books portrayed Alexander as compassionate and empathetic. I think you'd provide a better take on it, thanks!

What happened with the Pages or, as Beth likes to refer to them (accurately) the King’s Youths* had nothing to do with Alexander’s feelings towards kids or even teenagers. It had to do with timē, or public honor. I’ve written before about the importance of timē in Macedonian politics, particularly with regard to Pausanias’s murder of Philip.

Before I go further, however, I want to point to an excellent article by senior Macedoniast Elizabeth D. Carney, “The Role of the Basilikoi Paides at the Macedonian Court,” in Macedonian Legacies, Howe and Reames, eds., (2008), 145-64** Beth doesn’t just write about Olympias and Macedonian Women. She frequently deals with Macedonian court politics, and that’s what this article addresses. The incident with the Pages is examined in detail, and she comes to somewhat different conclusions about the complexities of it than she did in her earlier “Regicide in Macedonia,” although the latter should be read by anyone wanting to understand why Pausanias killed Philip (see linked post above).

Much of what follows summarizes Beth’s article, but read the whole thing as she explores a number of intriguing issues surrounding the Pages. (Beth is a good writer, clear, unlike some.)

Back to timē. One of the (many) jobs of the King’s Youths involved attending the king on hunts.

Also, a critical ritual that marked the movement from boyhood to manhood in Macedonian society was a hunt wherein the boy was expected to spear a boar (very dangerous prey) without nets (to hold it). If you read Dancing with the Lion: Becoming, Alexander undergoes that very ritual in chapter 3.

Anyway, most Macedonians would have undergone this rite-of-passage in their mid/late teens, possibly early 20s. Much is made of the fact Kassandros hadn’t, even though he was in his 30s. It was seen as a lack of courage (and thus manliness: andreia).

Furthermore, there was a Persian tradition that nobody in the royal hunting party could strike at an animal until the king had. To anticipate the king was a serious affront. Persians were all about rank and status.

Macedonians didn’t really have rules, per se, but something similar seems to have been assumed (unless the king intended somebody else to be chief hunter). In Macedonian hunts, competition was very much the name of the game, and “helping” the king wasn’t appreciated. Lysimachos found that out the hard way. That Krateros had the gall not just to save Alexander from a lion, but commemorate it in an ex-voto, is notable, although it was actually Krateros’s son who commissioned the statue group (c. 320 BCE) memorializing his father’s bravery … after both his father and Alexander were dead. By choosing that event of many in his father’s career, what do you think is the message sent? Not just his father’s ties to Megalexandros, but that Alexander wouldn’t be Alexander without Krateros. Perhaps it was his son’s way to hit back at Alexander’s own elevation of Hephaistion (his dad’s chief rival) to semi-divine status as a hero.

Another bit of background, Alexander had been trucking around Asia for about six years by the time this occurred. He was getting reinforcements for troops, but it’s not clear he was getting other reinforcements: e.g., new Basilikoi Paides. Hatzopoulos has theorized not, or if he did, it was early in the campaign, when he sent back Koinos and Meleager along with the newlyweds to Macedonia for a “break” in the winter of 334/3, to make new little Macedonians. They returned with reinforcements. So, maybe we can shave off a year. Still, and assuming Hammond is right that boys were King’s Youths only between about 14 and 18, these “boys” were getting a bit long in the tooth, even the youngest being past the 4-year appointment.

A lot of focus is spent on the conspiracy, Kallisthenes as their stoic-ish teacher, and fluffed up speeches (written by Curitus) about freedom and tyranny… It comes off very Romanized. I won’t go into Kallisthenes, but he reminds me a bit of some US Senators (Ben Sasse): a lot of hot air about principles while kissing ass with his votes. In Kallisthenes’s case, kissing ass with his glowing, propagandic history written for the Greeks. Even his own uncle (Aristotle) thought he didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. (Yeah…don’t think much of the guy; can you tell?)

What people have forgotten about—but Beth discusses—is the lead up to the conspiracy. What prompted it?

A hunt gone wrong prompted it. Hermolaos stepped between the king and his quarry, to spear the boar for himself. One source says he did it because he thought the king in trouble, but the other doesn’t give that as a motivation.

A-ha! Did you just say that in your head? You should have. 😊

The fallout: a furious Alexander had Hermolaos not only flogged, but also took away his horse. (Kinda like Dad taking the keys to your car.)

Now, flogging wasn’t that shocking (horrible as it sounds) in Greek and Macedonian society. “Spare the rod and spoil the child” is a saying they’d condone. Normally it was reserved for slaves and children (and women). The King’s Youths were a little old for it but…it’s the king. Curtius specifically states that the Basilikoi Paides performed jobs that were normally slaves’ duty, but being for the king, it became an honor. Plus most of these teens would age out c. 18 into another unit, probably the Hypaspists (Pezhetairoi under Philip) or the Companion Cavalry.

But—if Hatzopoulos is right—these young men may have been some years past 18, which would make a flogging especially humiliating. Even if they weren’t, and Alexander had been getting new Basilikoi Paides post-Gaugamela as well as new troops, Hermolaos was still a touchy teen punished like a “little boy” or a slave for just trying to spear his boar and be a man!

In punishing Hermolaos for insulting Alexander’s timē, Alexander, in turn, insulted his. Alexander no doubt saw it as a breach of discipline and decorum, as well as a slap at his own courage and prowess in the hunt. But to Hermolaos, it was, as Beth points out, “emasculating.”

Keep in mind: these are young men, even if late teens/early twenties. Everything’s a crisis. They’re also the sons of the top tier Macedonian elite, so very tetchy about their honor. And the Basilikoi Paides would have been an absolute stew of competition and testosterone poisoning.

I can just imagine a background to this of his mates teasing him, “When ya gonna get your boar, Hermolaos?” “You too much of a white-belly to face down a boar, Hermolaos?” Etc. Maybe he really did think, for a moment, Alexander was in danger AND this would be his chance! He could protect his king (his job as a Page) AND win his manhood! Two birds with one spear!

Except it didn’t turn out like that.

Smarting from more than the flogging, he would have complained to his friends in the unit, and griping grew legs and became a conspiracy. As Beth points out, they may even have heard fathers and uncles complaining about Alexander’s “Persianizing,” but they only complained. The boys, spurred by youth and Kallisthenes’s attempts to cover his ass-kissing with a pretense of philosophy, imagined themselves—especially Hermolaos and his lover Sostratos—as the new Harmodaios and Aristogeiton. (And yeah, I bet some clever soul pointed out the similarities between Hermolaos’s name and Harmadaios’s.)

So what is usually seen as an event all about Alexander’s increasing Persianizing and tyranny really gives us a peek into the pressure cooker that was Elite Life at the Macedonian court. Now you understand why I keep comparing these guys to a pack of sharks.

More on the Pages, Companions, Somatophylakes at the court....

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(**) The link above takes you to academia-edu where you can obtain a free download not only of that article, but the entire festschrift in honor of Gene. Tim (Howe) and I have made it free in PDF form and very cheap in paper form at Amazon. It’s basically sold at printing cost and a few pennies. All proceeds from paper copies go to the subvention fund of the Association of Ancient Historians, which provides financial assistance to grad students and junior scholars to attend annual meetings. Tim and I get nothing. (You will also help us shaft the dirty dog who bought Regina from its original owner and shafted us by printing and selling copies but giving us no royalties [like we got much anyway]. Academic karma.)

(*) While Beth’s translation of “King’s Youths” is more accurate, I decided not to use it in Dancing with the Lion because it falls awkwardly on the ear, and most people familiar with the court are already familiar with the Pages. That said, I agree with her that “pages” is misleading, causing most to envision pre-pubescent boys after the medieval fashion, whereas these guys are closer to squires.