#he’s at his best when he’s weird and super crazy 4 u

[candycryptids]

4 do they have a canon mount or minions? What are their names? If applicable!

30 what was their highest point in Shadowbringers? Their lowest? What caused it? 

((Omg I’m dumb I forgot the number but:)) how do they feel about Zenos?

Ok ok I’m sorry this took a while I was gonna take screenshots but then the mog-event started and instead I raided until my wrist hurt LOL (and then I typed this all up laying in bed and kicking my feets- read more cos it just got fuckin long

So for Minions/Mounts/Names; Mochiie has adopted two little Chocobo hatchlings- a tan-brown one he named named Anne, and a deep orange one he named SallyBeth he’s not 100% sure what breeds they are, but he does end up eventually saddling Anne adventure during Heavensward and SallyBeth during Stormblood, with the two of them each having their own strengths in terms of riding. SallyBeth is a Draft sized Chocobo too tender hearted for battle and ends up being more suited to long journeys across the continent or carrying luggage/passengers/pulling the cart, if need be. Anne is a smaller sized spitfire that is most likely to kick and bite apart anything that gets in her way. Mochi is the only one that can safely handle her, though I would call them “drift compatible”. Anne has bitten several people on the ass before, and will steal gyshal greens out of your bag.

Anne is also kitted out with a special ‘trick saddle’ he had custom made during his stint on the Steppe in Stormblood, so he can put his foot up on the saddle horn for extra height-stability to fire his bow while riding. (Hence why they are “drift compatible” in order for this to work, Anne actually wears blinders to keep her focused and running steady)

(Since I haven’t thought about Shadowbringers too extensively for my two canon WoL’s, I’ll give you this weird answer from Chuusday the non-WoL, and her wife, also a non-WoL but more involved w/ the WoL, it’s complicated ik ik we haven’t nailed out what happens with the WoL yet tho;)

Lowest point was when Chuusday’s wife Talia got soul-ganked and she didn’t even get to find out about this until she was summoned to the first (eon become instant yadda yadda) a week or so later to help fight The Big Problem which was all told a hilarious situation. Because her wife was really hurt and despite being inactive by nature that was enough to send her into a guns blazing fury. I think she temporarily became a Gunbreaker she got so mad-

High point was the Yorha Raids- for all the ups and downs during, getting to explore the ruins of the city and pick through the parts for upgrades made all Chuu’s dopamine receptors light on god damn fire. Tuesday gets a body upgrade just from all the salvage. He’s lighterweight than ever. His link Pearl gets built in temporarily but ends up disabled in favor of a physical linkpearl after concerns abt being listened in on without safe action to prevent it being available.

Aaaand, “how does the WoL feel about Zenos?”

The short answer; Mochiie is obsessed with this guy for a long time. It makes him worse. It brings out the ugliness in what he would’ve considered his good traits.

The longer answer;

“I can fix him” but it’s a hard lesson. It’s a hard lesson because sometimes people can’t be fixed. Zenos becomes an all-consuming yard stick that Mochi measures himself against strength wise as he fights to become stronger, faster, wittier, he’ll think of the right things to say this time and make Zenos change for the better and recognize the humanity and feelings in others but it just keeps not working. Because Zenos doesn’t want to be fixed. He wants to be your obsession. He wants the person with the potential to be an interesting fight, a meal to be fattened and braised for hours- he wants them to be obsessed with him just as much as he is. More than he is. And Mochi falls right into that readily, of having potential to be a fight that makes his blood sing. And Mochiie thinks in his overwhelming strength is the same potential for overwhelming goodness. It is. Not easy to accept when that isn’t so.

He’s never had to run into a wall like Zenos before. He does eventually make peace with it, after beating him down as Shinryuu, baring his whole self snarling and ugly and tired to face against a terrible primal that was someone he thought worth saving. (He’d made it work with Ysayle, they found common ground before her death, even Urianger, for his turncoat moments, they found sense, things made *sense* Zenos doesn’t make any **sense**—)

Zenos isn’t here to make sense and fit into neat and tidy boxes or be some ‘fix-it’ project that can be saved lmfao.

I joke in a modern au Mochiie would write a ten+ paragraph argument, cited sources, research, hours, days of carefully picked words and picked apart drafted, revised, revised again thoughts, and Zenos would send back the equivalent of

“ur mom suck me good and hard through my shorts 🤣🤪😜” like .2 seconds later, implying he didn’t even bother to read it… and he like, really won’t.

[yuff7e]

Hello hii !!

Rlly love the way you write , it has a certian comfort to it zjsbdn 🎀

Could you please write sfw and nsfw hcs with Kokushibo and Sanemi ( separate ) and a male!jester! reader . Reader is like super flexible and hardworking and actually takes his job seriously even though just seems kinda silly

Thank you in advance !

- ♱ anon

˚ ༘♡ sanemi & kokushibo sfw + nsfw headcanons w a male jester s/o !! ⋆｡˚ (literally everything is in the title)

male reader

hiii ♱ anon !! how are you ?! this is definitely an interesting request !! hope u enjoy <3 (and tysm that’s the sweetest thing ever ily)

the cuties song -> www.spotify.com

ꕤ*. sanemi shinazugawa !! SFW

- he’s impressed by you from the start

- you’re really flexible, that’s cool

- and you take your job seriously, that makes him respect you

- like wow u know how to have fun and be serious at the same time.

- so cool !!

- now he’s pretty distant at first bc that’s just how he is fr

- until you guys get to talking and the conversation is flowing

- man they’re banging fr !

- what a banger !

- anyway eventually he begins to form feelings for you

- the other hashiras notice right away because it’s kinda obvious he likes someone when he doesn’t like anyone

- like no one, he only talks to like .. 2 people

- so when he’s actually trying to hang w u that makes it pretty obvious in itself

- he’s just like “hey [name], train with me.”

- “alright!”

- *cue you jumping like pinkie pie over to the training site as he just walks like an emo kid right beside you*

- literally so random but i feel like you guys would just have the best time training, especially since ur really flexible so he’s all over that

- “wow you dodged my attack? that’s pretty cool.”

- after he confessed to you he’s actually a really nice guy

- deep down he’s really gentle and sweet, you just have to get to know him

- and you did and now you’re dating !! congrats~

- anywho, he’s just really sweet

- he’ll help you with your work too, especially since u do so much of it he’s like “let me help”

- like “alr pal go ahead and do all my work im GOOD” <- you

- js kidding you’d be like “aww thanks man!” *slaps him on the back like the MANLY MAN you are*

- he glares at u

- “oopsies” 😊

ꕤ*. sanemi shinazugawa !! NSFW

- fuckin’ feral

- i feel like he has an issue with getting horny like, a lot

- especially now that he’s with you he actually has a hole to pound

- and with that flexible part of you…. you know he’s using that to his advantage

- got both of your legs over your head and crosssed

- buddy wants to see you spread.

- lwk he’s prolly into fisting NOT EVEN TRYNA BE WEIRD JS SAYIN

- like i feel like he likes gaping holes and shi and like will thrust in and pull all the way out between thrusts just to look at the hole

- he would most definitely hold u by ur dick when he’s fucking u in missionary with one of his hands as he pounds you

- he probably has like 4 bottles of lube in his dresser and runs out

- he uses tm …

- he likes to see u oiled up fr

- since you’re flexible you can arch your back really well

- so he’s like pushing your upper body down and like towering over you from doggy and like shoving ur ass up with his dick pounding in you in this crazy arched position

- he just likes seeing you moan and cry

- he’s kinda mean but the aftercare is top tier

- holding and cradling you from behind (with his dick still in u prolly)

- i bet he says things while he’s fucking u like “you’re really getting pounded by a top hashira, you like that you fuckin’ slut?”

- definitely a degrader but if u wanna be praised you’ll get it but it’s still kinda mean

- “you’re doing so good just like the whore you are.”

- what a bastard

- is definitely into face fucking you but will get on his knees for you to face fuck him

- likes it when you use his hand to jerk you off

- why he kinky 🙁

ꕤ*. kokushibo !! SFW

- mans is so quiet you don’t even know how u got him to speak to u anyway

- plus he rarely comes out like HOW TF DID U GET TO TTH

- okay well anyway you did

- he takes a liking to you with how hardworking you are

- and you’re also a hashira, how interesting

- you aren’t a demon, and you’re speaking with him?? when you should be killing him?? hot

- i feel like he would come out at night in the forest to see you sometimes if you call for him

- “yes?”

- “just wanted to come and say hi!”

- “alright…. wut…”

- anyway yeah EVENTUALLY you two get together

- you have to confess though because demons don’t really feel feelings, so once he starts having a beating heart around you he’s like “am i dying”

- no ur not ur head over heels kokushibo !! ~

- will protect you with his life.

- you can’t tell the hashiras about this obviously, but sometimes they ask you why you always go out at night

- “better not be doing anything fuckin’ weird” <- sanemi grumbling

- “im not!” *cue you getting fucked face down in the grass in the forest*

ꕤ*. kokushibo !! NSFW

- talking about getting fucked face down in the grass in the forest— !!

- he loves fucking you in “public settings” (although most people aren’t in the forest out at night)

- deep low growls as he pounds your tight ass

- he kinda wants to put his sword up against your throat as he fucks you

- you both know that’s risky but even talking to him was risky to begin with like shit bro

- loves pulling your hair and he wants you to pull his as well

- he’s actually loud, like his groans and moans just come out everytime he fucks you or you fuck him

- quiet person in general but will be loud as shit as you fuck him

- “don’t stop..”

this is all i could do im so sorry kokushibos is shorter than sanemis 😭 , THEY JS BARELY SHOW KOKUSHIBO ITS SO HARD TO WRITE HIM SOMETIMES (plus i was so tired writing that its the next morning and im so refreshed)

REQUESTS : OPEN

[cher-rei]

love love loved your recent trent fic!! could you please do another trent fic where him and reader have been besties for years but trent finally got out of the (best)friend zone, they’re on their first date and he’s super nervous? and reader is like ‘bro it’s me? why are u being so weird??’ but she doesn’t get just how long he’s waited for this. it’s a cute fluffy giggly first date where they navigate the new dimension to their relationship as they go from friends to lovers. thank you!! 🫶

one at a time [ T.A.A ]

I remember when I first noticed that you liked me back [k- cigarettes after sex]

pairing: trent alexander arnold x fem!reader

summary: you thought that it'd be easy leaping into a relationship with your best friend of five years, but your first official date with trent didn't go quite as planned which calls for a moment of anxious driven honesty

genre(s): new relationship, fluff with some angst

[wc: 2.05k] masterlist

notes: I had this marinating in my drafts forever, I'm so sorry anon😭😭 but I hope that you like it because I'm actually in tears help

trent knew that you weren't really a fan of restaurants, and to make you leave the house at 7 in the evening, only for it to start raining out of nowhere was an entirely different story. so why were you doing this exactly?

the two of you had just sat down at the table that trent had reserved at some fancy restaurant with a name that you didn't even want to attempt to pronounce. there was quite a bit of space between you and the other guests, seeing as it was quite reserved and you couldn't help but be grateful for the fact that your date wasn't going to be interrupted by someone asking him for a picture.

trent sat across from you in silence, the only other noise being the silent chatter from the other tables. it was unlike him to be this quiet but you were too caught up in the menu, joking about the dishes and their prices despite the simplicity of it.

you stifled a laugh at a memory, immediately wanting to tell trent but he was completely out of it. it looked as if he was holding his breath, lips pursed so tightly that they'd nearly vanished.

"dude are you okay?" you put the menu down and leant forward to get a better look at him. "you haven't said anything in like ten minutes."

he was speechless, every word lodged in his throat and he was sure that there were beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. you looked gorgeous. he couldn't even form a single coherent thought because he was absolutely memorised.

you were wearing the prettiest thin-strapped, black silk slip-on dress he'd ever seen, your bare shoulders (as crazy as it sounds) had him spiralling. it reminded him of the day he saw you in a spaghetti strap top, the comment of "you have a really nice collar bone. your shoulders too." slipping from his tongue without much thought.

that was 4 years ago, and here he was in a similar situation in a daze. as you sat across from him with such ease, your eyebrows furrowed in slight worry he couldn't help but wonder why it took him three years to accept the fact that he liked you, while it took another year to actually tell you.

what he didn't expect however was a pit of anxiety to form one month into your relationship. this was your first date as a couple and he was already blowing it— 30 minutes in and he hasn't said anything.

you on the other hand were growing more frustrated as the minutes passed. a heavy sigh left your lips, "you're not even listening are you?"

trent didn't know what to say. "I'm sorry." he swallowed hard, the realization slipping in that he was making this awkward. "I don't know what's going on with me right now."

you watched as he eased back into his chair with a hard swallow. this wasn't going to go anywhere and you could tell. you tried to blame his behaviour on work-related stress and came to the only logical conclusion at this given moment.

"this isn't going to work." trent eyes shot open in shock, afraid that you were referring to the relationship but you caught on. "I mean the date. today isn't a good day, so let's just go home okay?"

he fucked up. he could see it in the glint of anger and hurt in your eyes, a pang of guilt hit him like a truck when you stormed out before him. and the idiot that he was, only took off after you at least a minute later, only to find you angrily standing in front of the car in the rain because he had the keys.

when you both got into the car, no one said anything. the tension was thick and you felt as if you were suffocating just by being close to him and you couldn't help but want to cry. you were so uncertain about your relationship after this, especially since you liked him to the point of insanity.

your five-year friendship was something that you cherished so deeply, something that made you feel so safe and loved— yet here you were feeling like giving into your feelings was a mistake. when you first met him through a mutual friend you didn't expect the boy to become such a crucial part of your life.

the friendship started slow, but from the moment you got locked in an elevator together you found yourselves spending every waking moment of the day together. it was easy, so effortless and he was so caring and sweet that you couldn't not take a liking to him.

and when he confessed first it took you a minute to realise that he was serious your— eyes widening with an "Oh..." before he kissed you so gently that you went home that evening with the moment replaying about a thousand times.

but after a few days, something shifted. and this date only proved your suspicion right.

trent looked at you in the passenger seat, your back facing him as you stared out the window, your hair still damp. it was a risk but instead of going home like you wanted, he pulled over which raised some alarm for you.

"I'm sorry about tonight." was all trent could manage, a lump of guilt forming in his throat as he continued to watch the rain fall onto the windshield. and when you didn't answer him he felt like the earth had just swallowed him whole.

a pang of hurt washed over you at the sincerity in his tone, enough to make you sigh and turn to look at him— your lips pursed and your hand reaching out for his.

in truth, you weren't upset with him. you were just confused and so damn uncertain about everything. you were upset with the fact that he wouldn't tell you if something was bothering him, if he was uncomfortable or wanted to call it off. even if it was going to shatter your heart to pieces, he was still your best friend and mattered more than anything.

you urged him to look at you, he was hesitant at first but the look in his eyes made you melt. "talk to me." you ran your thumb over his hand, reassuring him that you weren't mad at him. "I need to know what's happening so that I don't end up storming out of this car in the rain."

it took him a moment to let out a deep breath and he shut his eyes tightly. "you."

your heart dropped to your stomach, and a hallow feeling entered your chest. "me? am I bothering you?"

when he didn't reply you gently let go of his hand but he was quick to pull it back, his eyes widened in realisation of what he said. "shit no, I don't mean that you're bothering me--" he fumbled over his words, "--I mean you are but not in the way that you think."

by now, your eyebrows were furrowed in utter confusion. you genuinely didn't know what he was trying to say, and his nervousness wasn't making you feel any better. "trent if you're going to break up with me in your car in the middle of the rain I swear to god I'm going to--"

"--I'm not breaking up with you!"

you threw your hands into the air, confused beyond recognition and slightly hurt. "then what are you doing?"

your raised tone made him groan in frustration. why couldn't he just say what he wanted to? "I don't know okay?"

your shoulders tensed up. "you don't know? are we just some big grey area now? you need to talk to me."

trent slightly shook his head, "its not that easy."

"it's not that easy?" your voice raised slightly as you repeated the question, dumbfounded. "dude it's just me. that should make it easy."

five years of friendship and now he choking up unable to talk? it's not that easy. those words rang like a funeral bell in your mind, echoing as if it were signifying your impending doom. was this it? two weeks was all it took for him to get sick of you? to make him feel uncomfortable?

trent scoffed and ran his hands over his face. and you were visibly not happy by his "amusement" to any of this. "do you find all of this funny?" you asked in genuine hurt.

he shook his head again and mumbled something under his breath. "you just called me dude."

"so? i always call you dude but that's not the issue right now."

"that's my point. this is all so casual for you, so normal and for me it's just--" just as he thought his thoughts were finally able to make any sort of sense, it got caught in his throat again.

you watched in utter shock as he groaned and tried to collect himself. this was the first time you'd seen him battle with his thoughts like this, nothing but uncertainty and frustration floating in the air but you waited for him to finish instead of interrupting.

this was new. you've had arguments before, but none of actual importance. but this— your opinions and demeanours clashing so easily made you realise that this was a completely different territory. it wasn't just petty arguments anymore and making up in five minutes, it was the need to communicate and understand each other.

your relationship held a much greater weight now and it was only the beginning.

"I've wanted this for such a long time," he spoke finally and caught your attention. his softened gaze settling on you, his best friend. "I've wanted you for such a long time and now that we're actually together it makes me nervous."

your lips parted in shock.

trent stifled an embarrassed laugh. "you make me fucking nervous. I can't believe I was able to be around you for three years while feeling like this and not mess our friendship up. I look at you and my palms begin to sweat, you laugh and my heart melts, you say my name and I feel myself blushing like a stupid kid."

oh this was not what you were expecting.

"when I look at you, I don't just see some idiot who looked at me like I was some alien when we first met— when I look at you, I see the girl who comes to all of my matches in my jersey, I see the girl who makes me want to shower her in every single bit of my love, I see the girl who makes me feel at home and loved."

by now you were crying, holding back the sobs and instead just letting the tears fall from your cheeks that trent was trying to wipe away, a smile on his face as he looked at you adoringly. like he didn't just make you think that he was going to break up with you.

oh, this was the boy you fell hopelessly in love with for sure. every single bit of him and his stupidity.

"when I look at you, I see my entire world."

you sniffled. a lot. absolutely out of control, nothing but incoherent mutters coming from your lips as trent pulled you closer to him for a hug. the tears fell helplessly into the crook of his neck where your flushed face was buried.

a teasing smile danced across his face. "why do you have to cry for everything?"

you pulled away from the hug and wiped the last of your tears and took a deep breath. you were so overwhelmed by everything that he said that you could barely think straight. "shut up, that was practically a proposal speech."

his smile only grew and he couldn't help but lean in for a small kiss, and left another one on your flushed cheeks. "we're nearly there anyway, might as well."

you hit his arm at the comment. "I hate you so much."

he caught your lips with his, a soft and meaningful kiss that left you both with an entire swarm of butterflies pounding their way out of their confinement. "well that's too bad, because I love you."

[starryylies]

maybe this sounds a lil weird but could you pls write abt how all of the cod boys (including graves and köing) dating a female!reader WHO SUPER famous like taylor swift level famous.

thank youuuuu💝💝💝

TF141 + graves and könig with a super famous s/o

Hii ong thank u for the ask and sorry for responding late, i was busy :((

I hope it’s to your liking and your ask is awesome not weird dw I love it!

PRICE-

he definitely did not know you were famous when you both met.

Plans dates at home since it’s pretty much impossible for you both to go out

But when you do go out He is crazy protective of you and doesn’t let anyone approach you.

He once told gaz to take care of you when you had to go to the airport for your tour since he wasn’t around.

Proudly boasts about you to tf141.

Gets jealous when he sees younger actors and singers get close to you :(

Asked you to sign papers for the rest of tf141 esp soap.

Takes pictures of you when you’re at your concerts.

He’s definitely the type who puts away your phone when your mood gets sad after looking at some hurtful comment.

Rents an empty restaurant to have a date with you.

He bought all of your albums.

GAZ-

Okay so he’s a total fanboy, he totally knew about you before you guys met.

He fell in love with you the minute he saw you up close

You both met through price when you needed someone to escort you to a stadium safely since there were high risks of you getting hurt

Asked you to sign his album the day you met.

Totally knows all the lyrics to all your songs

Tells everyone his girlfriend is THE BEST SINGER in the entire world

Biggest cheerleader in your concerts.

Defends you on the internet whenever anyone says shit about you.

when you’re in an interview or meeting a fan he’d make sure they don’t make you uncomfortable.

Makes sure you’re safe whenever you guys go out.

He’s a very proud boyfriend :)

SIMON-

Knew who you were when you guys met because of soap but didn’t give a shit. :(

He had to be your bodyguard during your interview and whenever you went out.

Initially thought you’d be a brat but was proven wrong.

Slowly fell for you as he noticed you’re a very warm and genuine person

Is very protective of you

He takes his role of being a bodyguard very seriously and won’t let anyone near you

avoids paparazzi with his huge frame guarding you.

Asked you to sign 4 albums that soap had given him to make you sign.

Doesn’t like other men flirting with you.

Whenever he sees a man flirting with you he’d come behind you to scare them off. :3

Hates it when your back-dancers get too touchy with you.

He is very cautious with you and is lowkey hyper vigilant.

Would never let anything happen to you.

SOAP-

Okay just like gaz he’s a totallll fanboy

He used to have posters of you in his room

Had many pre existing fan pages of you and even blogs where he would post his thoughts on your songs.

Knows all of your tracks and has his own interpretations on your songs.

Will come with you to the backstage and give you a kiss before you go.

Is the type who will fight strangers on the internet if they dare say anything wrong about you.

Would have an Instagram dedicated to you and post your pics together

Will show you off whenever he gets a chance.

Would have candlelit dates with you at an empty park so you nobody can find you.

I s the type who gets jealous of other fanboys.

Takes you out to amusement park dates while you both wear ridiculous disguises. :D

KÖNIG-

This Hulk of a man is so bbg, he loves your songs and sings to them when he’s showering.

He loves hearing you sing for him

Had been a fan of yours since you had started out with your musical journey.

Doesn’t let any fanboy get near you

Gets insecure when he sees you with all your celebrity friends :(

Thinks he’s inadequate for you :((

Definitely walks behind you to scare everyone away.

Will not let any fan even get a picture with you.

Is your make believe bodyguard

He is surprised by why you chose him but he won’t want it any other way.

GRAVES-

Okay this man is so cocky when it comes to you

Definitely boasts about you to the shadow company

Takes you out to expensive restaurants and places just so others can see him with you

Purposely goes through the paparazzi with you so everyone knows you’re his.

Takes you with him to the shadow company just to show you off.

Has allotted men from the company to guard you.

Because of him you have an army of bodyguard’s surrounding you.

Comes with you backstage to see your perform.

Clicks candid pictures of you whenever you’re performing.

Makes you his profile picture everywhere.

[southerntigress]

Hello 👋 I was wondering if could write a story about the reader and her best friend try out to be the new nasty habits they both get the part Nikki is hot for both of them

The other band members tell Nikki don't mix business with pleasure

But he doesn't listen to them

One night before a concert on the current tour Nikki snakes both of girls in his dressing room they give him a bj together and he fucks them

Trying not to get caught or heard by the other guys he puts bandanas over their mouth so they don't moan out loud

Maybe add a breeding kink

I'm sorry all that just popped in my head

And I suck writing at fanfiction

Mixing business with pleasure

Hey sorry it took so long but here u go and also I don't do breeding kinks sorry but I hope u like it anyways

Me and my best friend Lauren had the day off we was lazing around the house waiting to go to an audition to be Motley Crue's nasty habits. We had been dancers all of lives that's actually how we met and became friends she was in my dance class when I was like 5 and she was 6.

Now we are 25 and 26 it's crazy how time flies when u are having fun. She's my roomie, my bestie and most of all my sister I love her to pieces.

I was lost in thoughts when she suddenly bursts through my door

"Get up and get dressed or we are going to be late" she says excitedly

I roll my eyes "we have 4 hours before we have to be there and it's only a 30 min drive from here chill out we got plenty of time" I say with a giggle

She raises her eye brow at me " Carrie Ann do you not know who you are talking to"

I nod "yes I do we have plenty of time"

"Bitch it'll take 3 hours to prepare and get dressed, get up" she said pulling my arm

I laugh and pull my arm away " that's cause u are super high maintenance. It'll take me 1 hour to get ready" I say

She groans " ugh I can't stand your ass" she says throwing a pillow at me

I catch it and laugh "love you too" I say as she walks out of the room

Fast forward 4 hours we finally get there and Lauren is dragging me through the sea of people. We finally arrive at the room the auditions are being held at it's empty which is weird I thought it would be packed

I looked at Lauren " it's kinda weird being the only ones here you think we are at the right place?"

She shrugs

A lady walks up to us "may I help you ladies"

"We are here to audition for motely crue" I say

She looks us up and down "ah yes right this way"

She leads us down another hall way and we enter the room " you girls are the last ones so good luck, go on the guys are waiting" she says and walks out

We go further in and there they are Nikki, Vince, Tommy in all of their glory looking all fine and hot.

Nikki is the first to noticed us and smiles " wow look at you ladies yall are the hottest chicks we've seen all day" he smirks

"Keep it in your pants Sixx" Vince says

Nikki flips him off

Lauren and I just giggle

"Alright ladies we're going to go through one song and this will definitely show us if you got what it takes so show us what you got" Tommy says

We get in position as 10 seconds to love starts to play I start to move my hips very seductively and bite my lip as I walk a little closer to the table and bend over shaking my ass Nikki slaps my ass hard.

Lauren crawls across the floor to me comes up on her knees as I get down on mine

Our hands are roaming each other bodies as we grind on each other and right before the song ends we kiss.

We get back up and stand infront of them waiting on their reaction

"Holy shit" says Vince

"Fuck dude" Tommy says

Nikki is staring intently at us with a devilish smirk "that was fucking hot and hands down the best audition we've seen" he says

"Give us a minute" Vince says and we go into the hall

A few minutes later Nikki and Tommy comes out

"Congrats you both are the new nasty habits" Tommy says hugging us

Nikki walks up to us and hugs us "I can't wait to be on tour with you" he says looking at both of us

The tour has started and it's been going amazing the guys and even the fans have made us feel like part of the family. Nikki has been extra handsy and flirting lately despite the others telling not to mix business with pleasure he invited us to his dressing room tonight before the show.

As soon as we walked in he locked the door and slammed his lips on mine we heavily made out as his pressed his body against mine.

He pulled away and brought Lauren in and pressed her against the door next me as he attacked her lips as well.

He pulled back from her and looked from me to her to me again and said "Fuck I need both of you right now but we got to be quiet so the other don't hear ok"

We nod

he starts to undress us then himself he smirks at our reaction to him naked he may be older but fuck me does he still look hot as hell

He looks at me "like what you see sweetheart" he smirks

"Fuck yeah I do" I say

"Good cause you both are going to give me a blow job and then I'm going to fuck both of these pretty little pussies" he says

I drop to my knees after he said waisting no time in taking him in my mouth I move my head up and down his length he grabs my hair and holds me in place as he starts to thrust his hips forward I continue to suck him off for a few more minutes til he pulls me off of him and tells Lauren it's her turn she takes him in her mouth and deep throats him he groans and reaches his other hand down and starts to finger me I throw my head back and moan.

He suddenly pushes us off of him and pulls out 2 bandanas "time to fuck those pretty pussies but I gotta keep you from moaning loud so we don't get caught" he says as he ties them around both of our mouths

He fucks both of us til we can't move or make any more nosies we cum and so does he. We lay on the couch catching our breaths.

Maybe mixing business with pleasure isn't so bad after all

[aibouart]

i NEEEED to know more about the poylcule

SO THERE'S 4 GUYS AND I MADE A POLYCULE BEFORE I KNEW WHAT POLY WAS AND ONE OF THEM IS INTERSEX AND IDENTIFIES AS TRANS BEFORE I KNEW WHAT TRANS WAS AND NONE OF THEM ARE HUMAN !!

also this is SO unorganised cuz there's 10 YEARS OF SHIT and i can't organise the thoughts so here u go (and also bonus old art in this)

LOOK AT THIS OLD ART!!

LETS GO GAYS!!

since this is a good way to start, i can say from above image it's:

Malamute, Lyo (pronounced Leo), Youkai, and Red

Malamute and Lyo are both shape shifters with a single animal they can shift to. Malamute is... a dog yes. and Lyo is a bird! Youkai is my insane mary sue with a huge list of super powers and an old insert in my daydreams, and i STILL dream as him constantly. Red and Youkai are a primary pairing in the polycule when I used to draw them. i wouldn't say he's a self insert, but i usually replace myself in my memories with him and daydream abt what he'd do instead w his CRAZY INSANO POWERS.

Red is 6'9" and youkai is 5'1" 0) (Red gains another inch anytime someone calls him short)

In their primary universe they are part of a school called the VRS (virtual reality school) where each student is created in the real world in a lab recreating people (sometimes given super powers as a human creation experiment thing but they're usually in a verse where powers are normal). Their physical body is in a lab, but their consciousness is part of the VRS for 4 years before they are awoken irl. this is done by them graduating from the VRS and then being woken up. they can return to the VRS, too, but usually don't do so for long.

because of this, and the weird way their hubverse works, they have memories across maaaany different AUs. any AU that gets repeated for RP or daydreaming with different twists, branches, etc, will usually become part of these memories as the more prevalent an AU is, the stronger the memories become. They will slowly start regaining memories while in the VRS.

despite this, it's very uncommon anyone actually snaps to reality and realises this. most people are vaguely aware that they have memories of multiple different lives but don't put it together.

Lyo always does.

And he's always the first to remember anything, realise they're memories of other universes/lives, and has to just... live with it. But because of it, he's sort of the mom of the group. he's emotionally there for all of them, and does his best to help everyone in the group to connect to each other each time, and cope with whatever memories resurface, or whatever new things they're going through.

as such as he gets on with all of them with little bickering, and is a huge glue to the group even before they end up developing the polycule (again). Youkai and Malamute are the most distant with each other, they're friendly but their natures of being emotionally unavailable and not really talking much to anyone means they rarely get chances to connect. but none of them are like, pressed to force anyone in the group to love everyone equally/the same way, so they're fine w the status quo like this.

malamute is most connected with lyo, though, and still likes to hang out w everyone. he also collects marbles, and likes to build little shelters for cats or other small animals.

(he also has the least art..........)

youkai is heavily aware of the multiverse and can even travel to other verses, at the cost of being unlikely to ever return to where he came from. because of this, he has a very bleak outlook on life, he's just another one of him of the millions out there. he's also the only true immortal of them, when he dies he comes back to life after a few minutes at most (granted if whatever killed him is lodged inside him he will just die again). you can see his insane list of shit here though, it's a lot

youkai would easily kill anyone for his guys tho but none of them want him to, esp red.

red is the most complicated, though. i think he does love them but he struggles a lot with believing his connections are meaningful because he doesn't feel worthy. i also think his extremely warped relationship w relationships in general due to his trauma also makes it hard for him to develop healthy relationships. even tho they look healthy on the outside, internally he's usually doubting them all the time, and doubting himself. he still does his best with his boyfriends (he has... a lot from AUs.. he's a boyfriend magnet..) and tries so so hard to give them all the respect, space, and attention they deserve, but he's quick to be self sacrificial in the process (and in general).

lyo gives him a safe space at his place when he can for red to chill, but red often refuses help because he doesn't want to apply pressure on others, or burden them.

(youkai on right here, this was when i was tryna get used to a new tablet)

also lyo is a sex worker!! he loves his job! he used to be a prince in his original universe where he ran away but it's such an uncommon AU now that it's rarely referenced.

i love lyos' dynamic w red tho cuz lyo likes to tease him and red is very easily teased but everyone else doesn't really have the heart to do that to him

ofc, lyo always tries not to go too far and would quickly apologise if he does.

here's an au where lyo received his memories but they blurred his current verse memories where red's dad was actually killed a long time ago (hallelujah)

one time they got cursed w boobs by a rogue wizard

also here's a good drawing of red's general vibe, he is with Bandit from @conflitdecanard (U DONT HAVE TO REBLOG THIS SAAS I AM SO SORRY)

it was red's first time really meeting another vampire that didn't scare the absolute shit out of him. ( i would love to rp him w more vampires one day..... even if they scare the shit out of him....)

also red is a total open book, his body language is pretty obvious and he's horrible at lying.

but his default is "nervous and anxious".

babie

he's so fucking hard to draw just cuz he's this specific mix of androgynous that makes it too easy to make him too masc or too femme and he has this long face URUGGG he's been haunting my ass since day 1.

he used to be a lot more confident but then he had a backstory.

also i am insane abt him (granted youkai is missing a LOT of art cuz i used to draw him the most but lost a lot of the files).

[charkyzombicorn]

Scott pilgrim au

Vivi and Nami

Sanji and pudding

Crocodile (your choice or buggy Mihawk or dragon)

Or

Vivi must defeat namis crew in random challenges (it’s just for fun) in order to date her (it’s just to meet her but in a stupid way, she doesn’t have to, but it’s best way to get to know her weird friends)

Okay Scott Pilgrim vs The World was my favorite movie/graphic novel as a kid so Buckle Up--

Nami got the '7 Evil Exes' idea after one of her actual exes said her friends were super intimidating to meet even after Nami SAID they were a bit much. 7 Evil Exes at least helps new people understand the level of Protective, Weird, and A Little Violent her friends are. She started using this tactic and a few more relationships got farther but they all gave up on her about halfway through winning everyone's approval and left

The 7 Evil Exes (in order of intro) are:

Franky (he's the most friendly in a normal way)

Robin (she's very shortly after Franky because she was watching the Franky interaction the whole time

Chopper (least convincing of the exes, he looks 14 even if hes 18)

Sanji (acts the most like a crazy ex)

Usopp (does the most interrogation, bring a resume)

Zoro (scariest, also participates the least unless he heard you fought all the ones before him, then he wants to spar against u)

Luffy (No one's ever made it this far, who knows what could happen)

I'm aging everyone up abt 4 years

Vivi is a human rights activist working on a degree in political sciences

Cobra was mayor but got impeached and arrested for money laundering (he did it)

Vivi got put in the foster system, ended up living with a family friend and being neighbours with Crocodile

Vivi and Luffy actually knew eachother as kids, they were friends for a while but then Vivi heard that Crocodile was her dad's advisor and testified against him so she took it out on Luffy and they both ended up beat up and Luffy got sent away to live with his grandpa

When Cobra got out on a reduced sentence he started raising his daughter again and is still working up the courage to admit it was actually his fault he was in jail and he wasn't framed like denial-fueled 7-year-old Vivi convinced herself

Vivi and Nami met at a rally against domestic violence, Vivi buys her a Coffee and they start going on dates

Date 5 when things get more serious Nami brings up the "Seven Evil Exes"

[tuliprry]

sunbeam 2

prompt: ballerina!yn x barista!harry, y/n is a ballerina and harry works at the café in the same building, both have a little crush on each other

warnings: fluff, a bit of angst, mentions of eating disorder, christmas

word count: 2k

part 1 part 3 part 4 part 5 extras

it has been a month since y/n and harry's first date, it's now december 21st, y/n has been practising with pointe shoes which led to a lot of bleeding and bruising, harry has been super inspired, the words flow out of his mouth like a river and he owes it all to y/n, for giving him reasons to write. 

their first week of dating was weird, y/n followed harry on instagram and that's when it hit him he never asked for her age... he knew she was an adult but it never crossed his mind until the moment y/n is long gone on the tube and he's sitting on his sofa reading her instagram bio "21, london based photographer", yeah she was an adult but he was 6 years her senior and he didn't want to make her uncomfortable in any way. "stupid stupid stupid", he thought. when y/n got off the tube her phone was buzzing like crazy, "i swear on GOD that i didn't realise you were so young", "i promise u i'm not a creep i just really thought you were at least 25", y/n's eyes widened to the worried messages from harry, she never mentioned her age because she forgot, when harry mentioned he was 27 she was gonna make a joke about millenials but her mind trailed off when the pasta came to the table. 

"harry i'm so sorry i was on the tube! if i wasn't clear by almost swallowing your face tonight, i'm absolutely more than okay with you being older than me... is it an issue being 21?"

"i just don't want you to think i'm some creep taking advantage of you"

"i genuinely don't think that"

"but seriously who the fuck is born in 2000"

"don't be mean a lot of people were born in 2000"

"mean? i'm not mean"

"yeah you're a millennial, it's worse."

during that entire week harry was always thinking his moves and trying to be even more respectful, his entire dating history was always with people older than him so all of this was relatively new to him, y/n explained a thousands times she was okay but harry still had to wrap his head around it. it was the same week y/n started pointe shoes, she was constantly tired and in pain and the hours she wasn't practicing she was working and then spending hours at the café editing so she could keep harry company. harry admired her, if it was him he would've definitely fallen asleep on the tube and getting off at a stop much further than his.

the second week was just sweet, lovebirds honeymoon phase clingy sweet, harry even got y/n tickets to go to the royal ballet, he understood nothing of it, but the sparkling eyes and smile coming from y/n made it just perfect. that same night harry fell asleep on y/n's sofa, cuddling oli, while watching taskmaster, another thing he swears on, y/n's sofa is amazing to take naps on (oli included). y/n had given harry's name to a magazine she does some shoots for, just in case they needed an article to he written, and still now she prays it's an article that needs photos so they can work together. the times they are apart are so little but those moments only make them crave each other even more.

the third week was hell, y/n fell in class, harry couldn't puzzle out why she was avoiding food or why she didn't want to eat outside the house anymore. truth be told y/n feels deeply conscious about herself whenever she's in the ballet studio, her teacher is cool and against the unachievable goal of the ballerina body but the other ballerinas were starting to ruin y/n's experience.

she didn't want harry to know, the "relationship" was so fresh and she wasn't emotionally ready to sit down and tell him sometimes (most times) being overweight and plus sized was a war with herself. harry did mention it to his sister, his sister just said being there is the best you can do, so he did.

this week was better than before, harry met y/n's friends and slept over one more time, this time in bed with her, he was still finding a way to ask y/n to be his girlfriend, he was sleeping in her bed for fucks sake. he also started talking kindly about food to y/n, showing his tummy multiple times.

"you have boobs bigger than mine harry"

"borrow me a bra then?"

y/n opened up a little more about the sad thoughts that lived in her when it came to food, so he googled about it, and tried to be as comforting and understanding as possible.

they went ice skating for their weekly date, both sucking terribly at it, harry did suck a little more, his knees always finding their way to the ice flooring, harry still thinks about her outfit, matching beige leggings and crewneck with a big white bunny in it, hair half up half down tied with a white lace bow and obviously her leg warmers, his eyes were glued to her, he just thought she was so beautiful and sexy and he craved her, he wanted to keep the decorum but this girl made his head spin. they ended up having sex for the first time that same night, sloppy kisses, harry couldn't keep his hands to himself, y/n was about to warn him about the fat above her hips but he stopped right there, "god it looks great to bite on", his lips travelled her entire body, always praising her, "you're a goddess, i'm in bed with god right now, fuck me", a memorable night indeed.

harry met y/n's two bestest friends the next morning, he assumed they already knew what had happened the night before by the funny exchanged looks between them and y/n, one of them was still studying, doing a masters in ecology and the other one was a visual artist like y/n but a videographer, harry liked them, they were loud and constantly offering him food and drinks. harry kept an eye out for y/n, constantly worried that she could be skipping meals. 

today is saturday, y/n is laying on harry’s sofa with a very purring poppy cuddling her while harry is finishing editing an article that he has to email until 11pm, he's not too worried as he got most of it written on his days off. "y/n do you want to order veggie burgers for lunch, babe?" harry asked without taking his eyes off his desktop computer. "oh yeah! with the sweet potato fries and that veganaise sauce... i'll order!", he smiled to himself, the last few days have been good for y/n mental health wise, she was on a ballet break until the new years, he hasn't stopped thinking about her flying home for christmas and missing her. "harry do you want the black bean burger? or the chickpea one?” y/n asked wrapping her arms around harry from behind, “what are you heaving? actually never mind i know you want the black bean one”,  he brushed his fingers against her hand, “…harry stop it’s creepy how you know me so well it’s been a month!!!” y/n pouts, it’s not really heartfelt, she loves that he knows her so well and genuinely wants to learn more about her as she had never lived anything like this. “i’m a genius and the chickpea one, please-“ before he speaks again y/n interrupts him “extra veganaise i know, you’re not the only one memorising things, old man”, harry’s worry about y/n being younger was still there but smaller, he loved that she felt comfortable enough to tease him about pushing 30.

“old man? i wasn’t an old man when i was fucking you last night”

“HARRY??? NOT IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN”

“sorry, sorry, i promise i won’t traumatise our children”

“our? so poppy is also mine? good to know”

“i mean, we both love you so i don’t see why not”

y/n’s felt her heart skipping a whole beat before processing what harry had just said, “h, what did you say?”, he turned his chair around and patted his thigh so y/n would sit on top of it. “i love you. you don’t have to say it back, i just do love you, i’m here trying to focus and not think about having to drop you off at the airport tomorrow and be away from u a whole week and not even get to start the year with you. i find myself writing about you, accidentally making your favourite drink when the customer absolutely not asked for him, i just know that i do. i do love you” y/n was speechless, she had thought about those 3 words and how what she feels for harry is stronger and only i love you in her mother language would make sense but she felt it too, not wanting to be away, finding reasons to be together, she was right where he was, emotionally.

“harry.”, y/n whispered, “you don’t have to say it, bunny”, he whispered back, placing his chin on her shoulder, “harry i love you, i love you too”

this is one of the moments harry most writes about

harry’s journal,  23rd december 2021

christmas season love only felt true 

in all of those nights i watched

love actually

colin firth falling in love with someone

he could barely understand

i needed it for myself

you came along and made me feel

right in his shoes

learning portuguese

just so i can tell you i love you

in a way only you would get it

your whispers,

my name,

your three words,

the most beautiful christmas gift 

i could have ever gotten

i miss you

come home to me

♡˚.༄  january 3rd 2022

harry is at the airport with a bouquet of white and blush coloured tulips, he had a busy christmas, he moved oli with him and poppy for the holidays to make sure oli wouldn't feel alone, poppy and oli bonded immediately like sisters, against all feline odds, they now can’t live without each other, much like their parents. his sister and mum flew over to his london house this time around, a chaotic christmas because harry burnt his not so great oat christmas cookies.

harry sees her coming through the arrivals door in a sea of people, his love actually moment, he speeds up to her and kisses her passionately. “god bunny, i missed you”, getting her carry-on and walking with her towards the tube. “how was your flight?” he asks, placing his tote bag better on his shoulder, “exhausting, a baby cried most of the way, poor little guy, if i get grumpy and i’m 21 i can’t imagine a baby, other than that it was okay, i got some work done. how are the girls?”, the girls, meaning poppy and oli and anne and gemma, harry was alone in the middle of women. “they’re okay, kinda fussy, i think they miss you. my mum says i’ve been fussy too”, y/n just giggled.

“harry, can we just get a coffee before we go home?”

“just not a christmas drink, please”

“you’re not the barista for this drink, h”

“yeah but i fear for the poor person that has to make anything christmas related”

“i had a gingerbread latte one time harry, one time”

“and the guy looked terrified!”

part 3?

do tell me if u want me to tag u on a possible part 3!

[proserpina-magnus]

☘️peter pettigrew

Hii! Like my other nsfw alphabets, this is a bit choppy and horribly edited. I hope you enjoy, mwah.

Peter Pettigrew Nsfw Alphabet

Reader: tried to make it nb as much as possible

Warning: pure smut and no editing.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Super sweet and gentle, definitely encourages you to take a nap and he'll bring you a snack or get you some water. He’ll rub your back and kiss your hot skin to cool you off. He definitely loves giving you praises and he’s spoil you rotten with his words.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He loves your hands, for some odd reason he just finds them so cute whenever you grip his hand for support as you climax or hold his cock.

His favourite body part on himself delphiers between days, but he’s usually very fond of his eyes. He’s very fortunate that he can look at you in such a lewd manner.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He usually always cums in a condom, but he loves cream pies. He, not so surprisingly, likes giving you oral for the exact reason he can taste you, he actually thinks he’s addicted to it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s ashamed to admit, but once he was talking to James about a certain time when he fucked you in the library and James got a hard on. He swore he wouldn’t tell and it’ll be their secret, but he always felt guilty for sexualizing you like that.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He’s okay, he knew some of the terminology due to the other Marauders but with actual hands on experience; he had no idea. He felt a bit nervous during your first time but he didn’t need much help, he’d just pay attention to your reactions and get a clear view of what you’d like and focus on that.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He likes when you ride him, he likes to hold your hips and just let you use him for your heart's desire. If he had to choose another, doggy would be his favourite.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Peter doesn’t know he’s being funny until you have to stop and laugh, he’ll be confused on what he’d say and get a goofy smile on his lips while watching you laugh. Sometimes just the first awkward start of sex and the small giggles feel better than the serious times, but Peter can be really gentle and intimate if he wanted to be.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He’s somewhat groomed, he doesn’t necessarily care for your hair down there or his own. It’s a bit darker than his head hair, but he trims it sometimes just to keep it neat.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Lots of neck kisses, he needs to constant “I love you’s” during sex even if it’s rough. He’s actually pretty gentle during some moments and cares about your pleasure over his.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He actually never liked it, he likes your mouth a lot more even if it was just for cock warming. He’d enjoy your hands better than his, but he also has a somewhat size kink and seeing your much smaller hands take his cock please him a lot more.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

There isn’t necessarily a set number of kinks, he’d love to try anything that isn’t too “weird” as he would call it. He never really likes to stick to one kink, more like spreading them out depending on his mood. One day he’d want to tie you up and the other he’d let you do whatever you wanted. He adores pillow prince(ss) though.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere, he’d fuck you in honey dukes, the three break sticks, closets, near the black lake, behind trees and bushes, his bed, your bed, his friends bed, shower, desks, professors desks, anywhere anytime.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Feminine clothing, something about it makes his head spin and he just loves fucking you in dresses. He also has a clothes kink, he’d love to fuck you in his clothes. Don’t even get him started on if you ever decide to wear sexual clothing, it’ll drive him crazy.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Major dom and sub roles (like day to day life style) feels him out, he can’t distribute or give out rules, he doesn’t like that type of control over someone or giving someone that control of him. He likes some parts of d/s and he’d definitely be comfortable with some aspects, but not full on life changing.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He prefers receiving oral sometimes, but he doesn’t expect it everytime. He loves giving, since he feels like it’s the only thing he’s good at. He’ll run his tongue and suck your sensitive flesh until he’s satisfied, giving you oral is more of a pleasure for himself.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Peter’s sex is soft yet rough, sometimes he just takes his time with dragging his cock deep inside of you and pulling it out. Others he just likes to bend you over and fuck you till your dumb. Sometimes he lacks compassion for how you’d take his cock, yet after he’s careful to check you over and soothe out any aches.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Only thing he looks forward to on school days. He’s already emotionally tired but getting a good fuck in a empty classroom or a bathroom stall always helps him get through the day, especially if you tell him you’d wait for him in his dorm later that night.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

It depends what the risk is, Peter likes to fuck you all over the place if he can. He definitely been given warnings by prefects way to many times.James and Sirius always say his animagi should be a bunny with all the fucking they catch you guys doing. Greatest risk he ever took was fucking you during a quidditch game behind the bleachers.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can go for a couple of rounds, depending if it’s just oral or penetration. He can spend hours just focusing on you, exploring your body and roping out orgasm after orgasm.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He definitely likes using a vibrator, dildos aren’t really his thing. He does have a few anal plugs, but he doesn’t use them as much as he would like too. He usually uses them for your pleasure, but he wouldn’t be opposed to having a cock ring on.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He���s actually a huge tease, he likes to place his hand on your thigh during class and just mindlessly rub his thumb right near your goods. He gives a dumb look like he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but his smirk whenever he catches your heavy breaths are apparent he knows exactly what he’s doing.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

The whimpers are the best part, he rarely moans, just mumble’s of “oh fuck” and heavy breaths. Especially the early morning sex, because his sensitivity is heightened and he’s just making gurgled whined and deep groans.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Honestly, he’d probably want to fuck you infront of his friends. Especially the days when they flirt or tease you, he’d just get this immediate thought to show them that he isn’t sharing you.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

I’d estimate a good 7-9 inches, the exact number isn’t known but all I can say is the girth is the best part.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

It’s in and out, most months it’s normal for a teenage boy but other months he can go days without it, sometimes even weeks. But on the months he’s active, sex is a pretty regular thing everyday to day.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Peter is nocturnal, so it rarely depends on what time of day you guys had sex. If it’s on the weekends during midday, he probably will take a nap until dinner. If it’s in the morning… I don’t even think he could stay awake long enough to finish. But late at night it’s a whole new thing, he would probably cuddle you for a few moments until he knew you were asleep and work on his assignments and homework.

--

Link to my MasterList and Taglist form.

Taglist:

Please check settings or username if you aren’t getting tagged.

@ilovedilfs32

@mysticlights-blog

@jamesandregulueb1ch3

@lvrjoy

@ildm4ev

@i-am-bi123

@myalupinblack

@blue-4-55-readinglist

@indigoh4ze

@siriusstwelveyears

@marlenesb1tch

@steves-hoe

@chanellewts

@kermit-14

@jamezpotter

@rebecca-johnson-28

@pottahishotasf

@haroldpotterson

@remuslupinswhore

@remugoodgirl

@zzzfour

@lunawifey

@moshiiley

@frantic-realm

@margaretpotter

@lillsthoughts

@aesthetxcimagines

@w3b-me

@cheezit-chystier

@lariimars

@lissa-duh

@prongs-deery

[stuff-from-the-void-matron]

Laurel Wreaths & Animal Teeth (4)

(c!Technoblade x fem!Reader)

(people seem to like this for now but remember, no reblogs/comments then i’m gonna assume people lost interest. so show u enjoy this please!! <3 also someone drew fanart of Reader, check it out at the bottom! :3c)

-------------

“Come ON Wilbur! Come with me to check out the huge village I found the other week!” shouted Tommy while making sure to get in his older brother’s way as much as possible. He figured if Wilbur was focused on him and not whatever ‘super important’ shit he was busy with then he’d join him.

Wilbur meanwhile was doing everything he could to sidestep and ignore said younger brother. Now usually he’d humor the much younger boy but Wilbur was sorta busy at the moment. There’s been murmurs of unrest within the L’manburg territory lately since new faces have joined their country. 

Apparently they weren’t happy about the fact that Wilbur was a self appointed president, and likened him to a dictator because of it since no one got a say in his leadership role. Which Wilbur thought was highly unfair. He’d fought tooth and nail for his country, so they could have and enjoy all the freedoms to do as they pleased without Dream and his cronies breathing down their necks.

Everything he did he did for his country. But he didn’t want them to see him as some unsympathetic tyrant who didn’t listen to his people. He’s not Dream, he actually listens when they speak, even when they say they don’t like his self appointed role as president. So yes, Wilbur was sort of busy with more important things than goofing off and finding some random village. But instead of snapping he just sighed and said,

“Tommy, I’m working. We’re supposed to be running a country, remember?”

The aforementioned boy let out an aggravated sigh, he knows they have a duty to L’Manburg, he’s not stupid! But he also knows they need to be allowed to have some fun now and again too! Or they’ll go crazy! And Tommy was sure Wilbur would go mad if he stayed cooped up inside all the time working! So this was his way of dragging his brother out for his own good.

But Wilbur was being especially stubborn (wonder where Tommy got it…) and was refusing to budge. 

“I don’t have time right now Tommy! Ask Tubbo or Fundy to tag along. I’m sure they’d love to go vandalize a village with you,” Wilbur distractedly said as he wrote down some notes in one of his books. 

Tommy was tired of fighting Wilbur on this and decided to hell with it, he’d just take the L this time. So he scoffed and said “Whatever” in the most pissed off teen voice he could physically summon and turned away from Wilbur and stormed out of the brunet president’s house, making sure to slam the wooden door as hard as he could on his way out. 

It seemed like all Wilbur did was mope around and WORK since they’d won independence from the Dream SMP. What the hell was the point of even FIGHTING for said freedom if Wilbur wasn’t even going to enjoy it?? 

Tommy pushed those thoughts away and went to search out Tubbo, he could always count on his best friend to follow him into some mischief! Unlike SOME people. And thankfully it didn’t take the rambunctious blond long to find his friend, and with a grin he ran and jumped on the shorter boy, making him yelp in shock and nearly fall. But then Tubbo saw who it was and started laughing and shoving the taller boy away half heartedly. But after goofing around a bit Tommy remembers why he’d searched out Tubbo in the first place.

“Oi Tubbo, come with me to this weird village I found the other week. I was gonna explore it when I found it but Wilbur said there was an emergency and I had to leave before I could,” he said as they both walked along the main path.

“Yeah sure, but why was it ‘weird’? Was it one of those ones that’s built somewhere stupid like half on a cliff?” Tubbo asked with a laugh. 

The two laughed and Tommy explained that the village just looked different? Like there was no cobble! Which was ridiculous because in his opinion that was the best part of villages was all the cobble buildings. Not that he was biased or anything like an American. 

But Tubbo just laughed and said sure, they could go check it out. He didn’t have anything else important to do today anyways. Tommy gave a triumphant ‘yeah!!’ because at least he got ONE of his friends to not be a total loser and go out to have some good old fashioned fun with him. 

Tubbo told him to lead the way so they were off.

-0-

Many blocks away in your village you were getting out of your ‘shower’, which was really just a waterfall hidden by thick trees and hanging vines behind your temple home. But it was the best shower you’d ever used thanks to how the water fell over you in huge sheets. You’d honestly stay in it for hours if you didn’t hate being bored just standing there. But you did get bored, so you got out and began drying off.

Once you were dry you started getting dressed in your usual outfit, then once done you paused before reaching down to grab the newest item of your outfit..

Your mask.

...

After your… horn discovery the week before you’d just laid in bed all day for a couple days. Not leaving your temple for any reason, not even to shower or eat. You’d have been feeling worse if you’d actually needed food but thankfully you didn’t, so when you finally got your ass in gear and got up to bathe you only felt marginally like shit. At least you had until you went to go bathe…...

But on that first day up you’d just stared at yourself in the reflection of the water and sighed. You didn’t have the urge to cry anymore, so that was a good thing. But you also weren’t a fan of the new horns or glowing eyes you’d had since ending up here. You weren’t even sure what KIND of horns these were?? And… call you crazy but you SWEAR they were bigger than they were before your stint laying in bed..

They’d only been little nubs before, not even as big as your thumb! But now they were at least five inches long and sort of splitting at the tips? It looked weird and honestly felt even weirder what with that velvety texture covering them. You made the foolish mistake of grumbling to yourself, 

“Things couldn’t get weirder, right?”

And as if the universe heard you… you discovered a new ‘appendage’ on your body while you started to wash your body off. You’d been lost in thought, just scrubbing yourself with a soapy washcloth when you’d started reaching around to wash your back, your washcloth brushed against something protruding from the base of your spine, right above your ass. This time you didn’t start panicking, you think you were still worn out from the days previous, so instead of freaking out you just slowly craned your neck around to see if you could glimpse the...thing.

A tail. 

You blinked, shocked but also.. confused? What in the absolute fuck? Why? When?? This time there was no sobbing or breakdown, you were honestly just puzzled. Are you ever going to STOP growing animal traits or what? Under any other circumstances you might even call the tail cute. It was small, probably just smaller than your hand and about the same shape too. And the majority of the top of it was the same color as your hair, but the sides (and underside after you got curious enough to look under it) were a soft white. With how you were in water the tail looked rather unimpressive and you couldn’t identify what kind of tail it was, but if it was at all connected to the horns then maybe deer? Or caribou? Reindeer? The last two seemed more likely since those animals’ females actually grew antlers you think. 

Having to adjust to all this new shit practically every other day was giving you a headache. With a tired sigh you rubbed the area around the base of your antlers, soothed slightly by how the action dulled your headache. But you couldn’t ignore the issue at hand, so you swallowed down your unease and instead just decided since you couldn’t control these… unnatural features then.. well, you’d just cover them up or since that wasn’t possible for the horns now you’d just disguise them?

You’d been stumped for a while on how to even DO that but eventually you’d gone down to the village to feed the animals and you’d watched the armorer leave his house to get started working for the day. And you’d noticed the mask he wore pushed up on his forehead. That’s when the idea for a mask hit you. But you didn’t know how to make or even craft a mask, so you’d gone to the armorer and asked him about it. It was hard to grasp what he was saying clearly but after the months living with the villagers you’d picked up some stuff and could understand them some.

So you let him show you how to make a standard iron mask like his, though the first one he’d made hadn’t fit you in the end so he’d made a second after tweaking the size a bit so it’d fit your face right, since your face shapes weren’t the same. But you were thankful and said so after you put it on. Though the eye holes still revealed your eyes, which you didn’t like. You asked how hard it would be to put reflective lenses in them to prevent your eyes from being seen.

That question turned into the armorer calling over the cartographer, the stonemason, and the shepherd oddly enough to help him out. They were murmuring and crowding around the armorer’s workstation while you watched from the edge of the porch where you sat idly. You didn’t want to hover over them like some busybody, so you sat patiently to see what they came up with together. 

And after a while your patience was rewarded when they came over to show you the fruit of their collaboration. And it surprised you how gorgeous it was, which wasn’t fair since you had 4 skill masters working on it together for you.

The mask was actually very beautiful. 

It was a white half mask that only covered your eyes, forehead, and upper nose/cheeks but left the lower half of your face bare. And you think it was simply painted white because it felt about as heavy as iron, but the part that amazed you was how it almost looked Venetian in design. On the forehead of the mask was a golden sun, and golden floral swirls came from the corners of the mask and curled near the cheeks and sides of the sun on the forehead, making the mask look elegant and almost vintage.

But the best parts in your opinion were the glass lenses in the eye holes. They were reflective and the same colors as your banner! You don’t know how the villagers did it but the edges of the lens were a goldish orange and the color faded into a violet in the center. You worried you wouldn’t be able to see through them but when you put the mask on you realized the lens only gave things a VERY slight blue/grey tint. So slight in fact that you could fully ignore it if you wanted. 

And the second best part was some of the floral swirls actually swirled UP past the top edge of the mask and rested against your horns, giving the illusion that they were somehow part of the mask. Actually with the mask on you could almost trick yourself into thinking you were just wearing a cool looking Mardi Gras mask! 

You clapped your hands in glee and couldn’t help the excited sound you let out as you gushed and told them it was perfect! They all let out bashful happy murmurs and generally looked shyly pleased with your praise. You tried to give them each some emeralds but they refused to take them, grunting and shaking their heads each time you attempted to push the gems towards them. Eventually you gave up and resigned to accepting the mask as a gift, but you’d definitely do something nice for them later, to make up for their hard work.

…

You’d taken to wearing the mask at all times when not in the privacy of your temple. Which wasn’t very hard to get accustomed to. The mask was lightweight and the lenses honestly helped shield your eyes from the glare of the sun so win/win. And it also made your horns, in your opinion at least, less in your face. Which was good because they were definitely still growing. You could tell. And the split in the tip was now more pronounced, making you wonder if they were like… reindeer antlers? It would fit with the tail currently growing out the base of your spine, said tail that now looked REALLY like a fluffy little deer tail since the hair/fur on it had dried. 

One good thing was that your tail wasn’t long or huge and could actually be hidden relatively easily under a shawl you tied around your waist. So that was one less thing to worry about. Though your life would infinitely be easier if you didn’t have to deal with all this inhuman bullshit. But you supposed life wasn’t fair and expecting it to be was foolish. 

“At least I’m not part some weird animal like an aardvark or something…” you mumble to yourself, trying to view this whole thing in a ‘glass half full’ sort of way. 

You’d decided to relax and unwind from your recent discovery by just taking things easy for a while. First day since you got the mask and such you just chilled and started a small farm for yourself. You didn’t need the food but the process of building the farm and toiling the earth and then sowing the seeds was actually pretty therapeutic. The repetition of it all was pretty calming. Just you, your gardening tools, and the earth beneath your feet.

The days following were pretty much the same. You’d tend your garden first thing in the morning after your shower, then you’d go off to find something else easy to fill your time. You took up feeding the animals, making flower boxes and planters around the town to make it more colorful, potion brewing, and even fishing. Which was what you were doing right now actually.

You were sitting on the edge of the pond next to your temple, bare legs in the cool water and your back resting against the side of another grass block, an enchanted fishing rod you’d traded the town fisherman for sitting stuck in the ground next to you while you relaxed. The day was actually quite beautiful and nice. Sun streamed down over you from between the bamboo behind you, fluffy fat bees buzzed overhead as they hunted lazily for pollen, and you were close to dozing off.

“Hnn! Hnn! Hnnn!!”

At least you would have dozed off if you hadn’t heard one of the villagers sorta freaking out. You looked up and saw one of the farmers panickedly shuffling about at the top of the small hill to your left. You wondered if zombies got into the village again? But no it was sunny out, they’d be burning if they did. Illagers maybe? But how would they have gotten around the bamboo and prickly berry bushes?? Well there wasn’t anything else for you to do than do see what was wrong.

You put away your fishing rod, got up and dusted yourself off before hurrying up the hill after the villager. You trailed after them down the lantern lit path but so far didn’t see anything, but you perked up when you heard telltale sounds of one of the iron golems fighting something and taking damage. That put some urgency in your gait and soon you were running to see what was going on. You rush past the fletcher’s home and then the cartographer’s right after but nothing. Then you finally round the corner where the market is set up and see at the very end of the path next to the cleric’s church is the altercation. 

You sprint down the path, yelling for the villager’s to stay inside until you ring the town bell as you run past them. You hear the doors slam closed behind you and you manage to get to the problem right as your iron golem gives one last cry before getting poofed. You gasp sadly and then glare when you hear cheering. A blond boy that was shorter than you hopped down from a dirt block tower and scooped up the fallen iron ingots the poor iron golem dropped upon its death.

You were so pissed that you ignored the nagging feeling in the back of your focus that said this kid looked familiar. It wasn’t until he finally turned to look at you that it hit you. Holy shit this kid looked… and sounded.. like that minecraft youtuber, TommyInnit.. Like eerily so. You’re glad you’re wearing your mask so he can’t see the deer in headlights (*ba-dun-ts*) look on your face at the sight of him. And your shock didn’t fade with him speaking. If anything it reinforced the idea that this kid was weirdly reminiscent of that youtuber. 

“Holy fuck! You are a MASSIVE woman. Wait, who the fuck are you?!” he said in a loud tone of voice as he looked up at you. It made your eyebrows furrow. You were NOT that big! He was just short! You even crossed your arms and told him so, which earned a snicker from the little brown haired boy in dark green overalls next to him. The blond boy scoffed, looked fully offended, snarked back that you were about the same height as a ‘bloody fuckin’ iron golem!’ so yes you were huge.

You glared at the little TommyInnit look alike and instead of arguing about your height you started scolding both boys, which they hadn’t really.. expected? At least from the surprised looks on their faces (which still had the roundness that came from baby fat). The brunet rubbed his elbow and sort of toed the dirt under his feet while the blond crossed his arms and almost looked to be pouting from the scolding.

“My height isn’t the issue here! The issue is you two barging into my village, killing one of my iron golems, stealing the loot from it, and scaring my poor villagers!! What in the hell were you two thinking?” 

The blond tried to cut in, to defend himself but he barely got out the first syllable before you held up your hand to signal for him to silence himself as you snapped,

“I do NOT wanna hear it! You treat others this way?? Like they’re nothing, like their possessions and peace of mind don’t mean a damn thing?! Shame on you both!!” 

By the end the two boys looked properly scolded. The brunet wondered if THIS is what it felt like to get scolded by one’s mother, and if it was then he’d like to avoid it for the remainder of his life. And the blond meanwhile actually didn’t have anything to say, or more accurately he didn’t know what to say to not feel like he was in massive trouble.

You meanwhile were just annoyed at this point, so you held you hand out (causing both boys to give you wondering looks) before you demanded the iron ingots that the blond stole from your slain iron golem. He got all in a huff, saying he earned them and they were just ingots- but you slapped that train of thought down with an angry,

“EARNED?? More like STOLE! After you killed my iron golem! Now give them back! I have to use them to make a new golem to protect this village.”

The blond sputtered, face blooming red at being blatantly called out on his theft, before muttering in embarrassment and pulling the ingots out and practically tossing them at you. You caught them and returned them to your inventory before shaking your head at the two and saying they should leave if their only goal in your village was to kill and destroy property. The small brunet quickly spoke up and said,

“No wait, we didn’t come just to mess stuff up! We came cuz Tommy said he found this place last week and it wasn’t the usual village so we wanted to explore it.”

Your stomach churned at the name.. Tommy. This was getting weird again. Way too fucking weird. But you resisted clenching your teeth anxiously like you wanted, instead you raised an eyebrow they couldn’t see and shot back,

“Oh yeah? And how did that escalate into killing my iron golem?”

This time it was ‘Tommy’ who cut in and said it had been an accident! They’d apparently been looking around when Tubbo (you felt queasy now after hearing that name too…) started fighting a spider and Tommy came over to help him, but in the process he accidentally hit the iron golem, who got pissed and smacked him.

“I ran from the thing and towered up three blocks! I knew it wouldn’t let up so I had to kill it! S’not my fault the bastard was holding a grudge!!” Tommy said heatedly, arms still crossed defiantly.

You wanted to rub your temples in exasperation but couldn’t without removing your mask. And like hell you were showing these kids your weirdo inhuman eyes. Though… if they really were the characters from.. the videos you got hooked on? Honestly this whole thing was 10 times weirder than the stupid glowy eyes or even the horns or tail.. Like this has to be proof you’re really dreaming or in a coma or something. What other logical explanation could there BE? These kids aren’t real. Nothing here is. It CAN’T be. The real people behind these… minecraft characters? They’re not here. In this place.

Before you could do a kickflip off the edge of your sanity into a full on mental breakdown you took in a calming breath and pushed those thoughts away until you were alone to give it the proper attention. And maybe so you could have your panic attack in peace and quiet. But right now you had two kids causing ruckus in your village. So you just said,

“Yeah alright, fine. I’ll forgive you both THIS TIME. But don’t make a habit of causing trouble in my village. And you can look around and explore, just don’t steal anything or hurt any of my villagers or animals. Got it?”

The two boys nodded, happy to not have you giving them that Angry Adult Tone anymore. So you turned and started walking back to the middle of the village, calling for them to come on. You had to ring the village center bell to tell everyone everything was okay.

Both boys shared a glance before Tubbo smiled and started jogging after you, Tommy right behind him, both curious about you and your village.

------------

(a/n: YOOO SOMEONE DREW READER FANART AND IT’S FUCKING BOMB DUDES CHECK IT OUT!!  (Reader looking heavenly~) uwu)

@salinesoot​ @lady-bee-fechin​ @kacchasu​ @putridjoy​ @lunawritesstories​ @galaxypankitty3030​ ​ @paradigmax​ @zachariethememerie​ @killmewithafanfic @trinity-1002107 @hufflepuff-demigod @truthdaze @exorcisms-with-elmo @redbloodtea @heythereimhaylz @olyink @jackalopedoodles​ @nikkineeky​ @artsimatsu​​

[whoree321]

the bad batch + olivia rodrigo songs

this is kinda super angsty and i didn’t necessarily mean for it to be but also idk what i expected. omega’s is cute but everyone else’s just got more sad the more I wrote lmaoooooo

Hunter: happier

hunter is def the kind of guy after a break up that wants things to be on good terms and genuinely does want to see the other person happy

like i think hunter is the most likely to want to stay friends after a break up

but he also has that pride and ego of not wanting to be replaced or wanting the next person to be better than him

he would be really torn between sincerely wanting the best for them and also battling his own discomfort and insecurity/jealousy at actually seeing them be happy without him

the balance between maturity/respect and that petty need to “win” a breakup would be tricky for hunter to manage

i feel like this song perfectly captures post break up hunter like “i hope you’re happy but don’t be happier” that’s really truly how he’d feel

Crosshair: favorite crime

i think that if crosshair got to a point in a relationship where he really cared about the other person and then they broke up he would feel very much this song

like i know the obvious choice might seem like “good 4 u” like edgy and angsty but I don’t think he would feel so aggressively angry as he would feel just really melancholy about it

like crosshair isn’t the type of guy to have meaningful relationships that he puts his heart into so if he did put himself out there and open his heart up so much he’s not gonna be able to just shut it down (even though he def will act like he doesn’t care at all even a little bit)

he’s gonna feel hurt and taken advantage of by the other person but he’s also gonna blame himself for being so vulnerable and opening himself up to that hurt

like i really feel like in the bridge where its like "everything we broke and all the trouble that we made / but i say that i hate you with a smile on my face / oh look what we became" is very crosshair. thats the bittersweetness he would feel towards someone he really loved that ended up hurting him

Tech: deja vu

this is so tech bc it is really a thorough, itemized, fuck you list

like i feel like it would be very tech to pinpoint all the parts of an ex’s new relationship that they reused from their relationship with him and just be like “hm. interesting. a big fat phony. how does that feel? to be a phony? just asking for a friend”

and that’s also something that would hurt him the most. like knowing that that person had experiences with him and learned things from/with him that he thought were meaningful and then they just go share all of it with someone else? that would be tough for him to take

the lines that specifically give me tech are in the one chorus where it’s like “that was our place / I found it first / I made the jokes you tell to her / when she’s with you” and also in the bridge when it’s like “play her piano but she doesn’t know / that I was the one who taught you billy joel”

i could just see him having detailed notes of his favorite moments of his relationship with that person (like specifically things they learned together or taught each other, new experiences they had together, etc) and then gradually having to sadly mark down when one of them has been used with someone else

it would be a really prolonged hurt knowing how much he valued those things and thought they were special and how much the other person just didn’t think that at all and continuously drives that point home

Wrecker: 1 step forward, 3 steps back

i feel wrecker here in this song bc i think of all the bad batch he is one of the most likely to really drag out a rough relationship in the hopes that it gets better

and I don’t mean that in a shady way at all. but I think crosshair’s self-preservation would kick in, tech would turn to logic and numbers and determine the costs outweigh the benefits and it’s no longer a fruitful relationship, and hunter and echo would have a weird honor code of like “I cannot allow our relationship to cause pain any longer”

but wrecker

wrecker would just be so head over heels and desperate to go back to good times bc he just loves so fully and completely. he falls fast and hard and it would be difficult for him to accept that a once-happy relationship just isn’t salvageable

the line that gets me is really in the chorus like “do you love me, want me, hate me / boy I don’t understand” bc I think that’s exactly how he would feel

wrecker would just be so sad and confused and he would know things were going wrong but it would just be such a whirlwind and he would want it to work out so much that he would let himself stay in an unhappy situation for too long

Echo: traitor

echo is an extremely loyal person and he values loyalty in a relationship so much

when he loves someone and dedicates himself to someone, it is really hard to break that bond. he will stick by them through almost anything

one of the few things that is unforgivable in a relationship to him tho is infidelity. so the hurt and anger in this song I think is something he would really feel in a relationship that ended in a similar situation

like if echo’s s/o was unfaithful to him, even if they didn’t technically cheat on him, it would really cut him to the bone. he couldn’t imagine doing that to someone else and I think he would feel that betrayal from them really deeply

the line in this one that sold it is in the last chorus when she changes it a little and goes “you gave me your word / but that didn’t matter”. like the way she says it is so hurt and that’s how he would feel

losing someone he cared about would really sting for echo (he’s already lost so much), but losing them bc they betrayed his trust, knowing that he really believed in them and he really thought they were someone he could put his faith in and then being wrong? it would be devastating to him

Omega: brutal

this song really captures that chaotic panic of being young and coming into yourself and the world

i think omega is a little young at this point to be feeling a lot of this just yet, but when those teenage hormones and angst settle in this one is gonna hit different for her

it’s just a really good depiction of that like self-consciousness and anxiety of adolescence where you’re so hyper-aware of your flaws and you feel like everyone is looking at you and judging you all the time

and in omega’s position, I imagine when she enters that time in her life it’s gonna feel pretty intense. you can already tell she feels some of it just bc of her life situation and experiences but once you add in the normal hormones and psychological changes it’s gonna be crazy

the most omega line in this song is when she goes “i’m so tired that i might / quit my job start a new life / and they’d all be so disappointed / cause who am i if not exploited?”

LIKE THATS LITERALLY HER @ THE KAMINOANS IN THE FIRST EPISODE THATS BASICALLY EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED

basically it would be her teeny bopper anthem and i love it for her

[whatdidyoueatlastnight]

DANNY BOWIEN & JUSTIN HAGER Q&A 

This was a verbal conversation between Simlah “Shimmy”, Danny and Justin on April 5th, 2021 at Mission Chinese in Brooklyn, NY. The recording was transcribed into the Q&A below. I hope you enjoy! 

Transcription and Photography by Simlah Henry 

 Pick a color.

J: Green 

D: I’m gonna go with... like a blueish black. Blue-black. 

1.💥WHAT DID YOU EAT LAST NIGHT?

D: I had delivery. It was Vietnamese food from this spot close to my old place. It was okay I haven’t had pho delivered in over a year *laughs*. I had a good day of eating yesterday, me and Mino woke up and went to this Korean spot it’s open 24 hours called “Gammeoak”. We did this bone broth soup and the kimchi is phenomenal. They only have one type it’s crazy. 

J: I had a random meal. I had a salad, mac n cheese, and banana bread. It was really good. 

D: OH! THAT'S A 3 COURSE MEAL! 

J: *laughs* That’s how we eat, we just think about it on the spot.  

2.💥WHEN YOU WASH YOUR HAIR AND CLOSE YOUR EYES, WHAT DO YOU USUALLY THINK ABOUT?

D: Honestly. Weirdly, a lot of time when I’m washing my hair I think about food *laughs* or like recipes sometimes. Like when I’m exercising I think about the potential of a new dish or something we’ve been trying to figure out and put together. You probably hear it a lot from people, “I get the best breakthroughs when you’re showering” *laughs* that’s me. 

J: A lot of ideas come to me in the shower but when I’m washing my hair I’m bummed cause it’s gonna look really stupid after I wash it *laughs*. I wash it once a week but when it’s time I don’t wanna mess it up.

D: He wants scene hair.

J: *laughs* Exactly. 

3.💥SOUP OR SALAD 

J: Soup. *giggles*

D: That is an amazing restaurant *laughs* ! Do you remember that restaurant? Souper Salad is a humongous southern salad bar, it’s really good it’s like S-O-U-P-E-R salad. But honestly, I like my salad in my soup. I know it sounds gnarly but when you eat Korean food a lot of times they’ll have a lot of different greens you can put in your soup, it’s really good. 

J : Kinda like pho with herbs.

D: Yeah! They get kinda soft, it’s delicious.

4.💥 WHAT SHOE DO YOU PUT ON FIRST? 

J: I’m left-handed so I always do my left shoe first.

D: I do right. Probably right? Yeah, I do right it would be weird to do the other shoe.

J: I’ve done left so long it’s so hard to even try the other way *laughs*.

D: Mino has been using a shoehorn lately, he’s using it to learn how to tie his shoes. 

J: That’s amazing! I didn’t know what a shoe horn was till like 5 years ago *laughs*!

5.💥 WHAT'S THE FIRST ALBUM YOU BROUGHT ON YOUR OWN AS A KID?

D: I remember getting arrested at a Walmart for stealing *laughs*!

J: WHAT!?

D: Not arrested but they grabbed me and called my dad it was the most embarrassing thing! I tried stealing 3 CDs, it was really embarrassing! Lemme think... it was this band “Blessid Union of Souls” and I wanna say it was the “Candle Box” album cause my parents were super christian so I couldn’t get like explicit music an-

S: THAT'S WHY YOU WENT TO WALMART!

D: *laughing* Yes that’s why I went to Walmart.

J: OHHHHHH.

D: I think the other one was Mariah Carrey I-

J: WOW! *laughing* That’s amazing.

D: Yeah! It was Blessid Union of Souls, Candle Box, and a Mariah Carey album. I tried stuffing them in my pants and I’m walking through the Walmart parking lot and these 2 dudes tackled me to the ground forcing their hands down my pants-

Us: NO!!

D: Yeah. They called my dad it was pretty funny all he said was “It’s fine”. *laughing* He was like “don’t steal from Walmart”. 

J: Yeah my first, honestly, I got two at the same time cause this song was just stuck in my head. I got Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car” and Morrissey’s “Your Arsenal”. Those were my first two.

D: I mean the first album I brought was “Van Halen Greatest Hits” on CD that’s the first one I brought cause I got a gift certificate for Christmas to Best Buy and I got “Mxpx -Life in General” *giggles*. 

J: Insane.

D: I had this little shitty, it wasn’t shitty it was an Aiwa. It was under Sony like Walkman and Aiwa was a division of Sony they had really cool logos.

6.💥 IF YOU WASN’T DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING NOW, WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU DO?

Long pause… 

D: I have no idea.

J: I couldn’t imagine *laughs*. 

D: I feel like I would be a youth pastor *laughs*. 

J: *laughs hard*

D: I’m joking I’m joking but I have been dressing a lot like a youth pastor lately. I’m always checking with Sara like “Do I look like a youth pastor?” 

J: *laughs even harder*

D: Yeah I don’t know what I would be doing. 

J: I think it was meant for me to be doing something creative just cause I’ve always been into weird stuff. When I was little, I used to alter my clothes, since I can remember so I just do the same thing pretty much.

D: Recently I thought about trying to be a fitness instructor like being a spin instructor.

S: With the dress shoes right? 

D: Yeah but with church shoes on. 

J: Ahhh!

7.💥 DREAM CAR, THE COLOR, AND THE SONG YOU'RE PLAYING LEAVING THE DEALERSHIP? 

D: Oh I know what car I want! I’m trying to get a car right now, I want a 2008 Subaru STI Hatchback, white with gold rims, or like the bronze rims. There are some good deals on that car, it’s like 4 doors, they’re fast as hell. Scar and I were talking about it, I showed Mino today and he’s like “Wow gold rims?!” 

S: What song are you playing thogh? You just paid cash, what’s the first song you’re playing? 

D: I don’t know. I like Drake’s “Lemon Pepper Freestyle” right now *laughs*. I’ve been listening to it a lot, it is so good! Here I’ll put it on … it’s Drake and Rick Ross.

J: DUDE I'VE BEEN LISTENING TO A GOOD BIT OF RICK ROSS! THE BOSS ALBUM!? The cover had a chain made out of his face.

D: I feel like I would have to play DMX’s “Up in Here”.

S & J: OMG!!!

D: Fingers crossed for him. 

J: I hope he pulls through. My car would have to be like an old school Volkswagen square back. It’s probably my favorite car, it's probably the coolest looking car to me. Like pea-green maybe burnt orange like a vintage color. That’s like the ultimate car! I’ve wanted that thing since I was a kid.

S: What song? 

D: What DMX song?

J : Ooooh… 

D: “X Gon Give it to You”? “Slippin”? Na that’s too dark. 

J: “Slippin” is probably the best song he’s written. 

D: I had that album with him covered in blood in my first car. DMX was the first hip-hop artist to have 3 #1 songs back to back. 

S: I was just telling the homie that DMX was robbing people with his dog. I think it’s genius to be honest. Like what are you going to do? Run? 

D: Justin, have you seen the documentary? 

J: No, I have to check it out.

D: I’ll send it to you, it’s sooo good!!

J: Actually, “How It’s Going Down” is the best.

S: That’s #1 for me.

8.💥BOBBY FLAY OR GORDON RAMSAY?

D: GUY FIERI!! THAT'S IT! 

J: *laughs hard* THAT'S AMAZING!

D: That’s it. Neither of those guys *laughs*. 

J: Danny Bowien! 

D: The guys at High Snob were trying to get me in that Clubhouse chat room. They texted me and asked me to be a guest and I’m like “Yeah, sure I’m down”, then they mention “We wanna get you in one with Guy Fieri” I’m like *gasp* “I would die! My first question would be, what’s your favorite Ben & Jerry’s?”.

J: Oooo that’s good… Wow

9.💥FAVORITE JUNK FOOD?

D: I don’t know. Define junk food…

J: Yeah.

D: I’ll go low...

J: *laughs hard*

D: Beause I don’t wanna offend anyone's food…  You mean what’s food so delicious I would eat it out of the trash? 

J: *quickly responds* McDonald’s hash browns.

D: *laughs* OKAY, what’s the number one fast-food hash brown?

J: McDonald’s. 

D: McDonald!!! I agree, but this place “Hardee’s” used to do those potato triangles. My mom use to call them potato triangles, it was hash brown. Obviously McDonald’s has the superior hash brown.

J: Absolutely. 

D: Then Carls Jr’s- WAIT ARBY’s HAD THE POTATO TRIANGLES! Why does everyone shit on Arby's so hard? *laughs* I like Arby's! 

Do you like Arby? *asking Sara 

The curly fries, the Arby Q sauce, and horsey sauce! 

10. 💥 WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY? 

D: *vulnerably* Can I tell people that?

J: *laughs hard*

D : I’ll tell you Shimmy I trust you *laughs*. 

J: 6969

D: 6666

                *Lemon Pepper Freestyle plays on loop*

                       **REST IN PARADISE DMX**

IG:

 https://www.instagram.com/justinhager/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/danny_bowien/?hl=en

[fubukiswifenoimnotjoking]

One Punch Man ship reviews bc I’m bored

WARNING: BIG ONE PUNCH MAN WEBCOMIC AND MANGA SPOILERS

GenoSai: do I even have to say it?? They compliment each other so well and are already besties. They make me so happy and I love their love. Genos literally came into Saitama’s life and brought so much new life and excitement when Saitama thought he’d never get any. Genos gives him love and appreciation all the time and never abandons him. Saitama isn’t connected to his feelings, but he cares about Genos and would do just about anything for him, to keep him safe. Genos constantly teases Saitama and Saitama grumbles and takes it with some banter, Genos is super emotional and Saitama does his best to comfort him, they fucking love shopping together and just hanging out period, they talk about the dumbest shit and somehow they still understand each other with the one brain cell they both share. It takes Genos forever to realize his feelings are deeper and Saitama has to be TOLD by their friends that he should fucking realize his feelings already. Just...I could keep going but I’ll stop! 2718873737839439/10 (let’s not talk about the age gap btw, 6 years isn’t bad and Genos is a legal adult.)

FubuSai: the stereotypical straight ship ppl gravitate to. Eh. I can see it, but at the same time I feel like they don’t completely compliment each other. Are they a hot couple? Duh. But I feel like their pride and communication issues would get in the way. 4/10

TatsuSai: hnghhhh. Someone mentioned this before, can’t remember who, but Saitama literally thinks she’s a child in canon. So that just....makes it gross. Same problems as FubuSai but worse. I’d rather see them as hesitant friends w a weird bond. 0/10

SonSai/SonicSai/idk the ship name: eh, toxic. Cant see them getting past communication issues and pride, again. Plus Sonic wants to kill his ass. Also, I just feel no romantic tension?? Even in fanfic it just falls flat for me. 3/10

MumenSai: a favorite!! Wish I saw it more, it’s very cute. Mumen is so kind and would absolutely be there to help him w self esteem and just help him be a better person period. And Saitama would have a cute little kind guy to tease and open up to. I could maybe see Mumen’s kindness getting on Saitama’s nerves when he’s in a bad mood bc Mumen almost never snaps and Saitama feels shittier, or maybe Mumen being mad at Saitama for being kinda lazy at home while Mumen is working his ass off and he’s like babe I just got home, please stop playing the fucking game and pay attention to me I have a concussion again. Prob too nitpicky on this one, heh, but 8.4/10

Genos x Sonic: wtf? As a crack ship, sure. That’s hilarious. But as a serious ship, 1.3/10 bc I could MAYBE see them bond over their love of my chemical romance or sum.

Anyone x Puri: -128382839287473828739219833468282/10. Fuck Puri.

TatsuKing: eh. Indifferent on this one too. I can see them getting along and Tatsu being the mean but supportive gf in public, but a sweet gf in private. King could be like her calm oasis of video games and sweet blonde shy bf. I sway more towards ace/aro King and queer non binary Tatsu, but this is still good. 6/10

FubuPsy/Fubuki x Psykos/idk: hell yeah!! This series NEEDS more wlw ships, both for me to project onto and to cry over. Prob my fav Fubuki ship, cuz they’ve known each other since they were young and had a tenuous friendship. I didn’t use to ship it until I saw that scene in the wc after the MA arc (u know the one) but here we are. They’re big personalities so any interaction is bound to be chaotic at first, but I really think they’d work. Pride put to the side, Psykos could be someone for Fubuki to finally rely on other than the Blizzard Bunch, someone to confide in, a badass partner to fight monsters with, talk about nothing for hours with, be a super fashionable #girlboss couple with, and someone who would really see her for who she is-especially w Psykos knowledge of her from the past. Hell, Psykos might even know her better than Tatsumaki. Fubuki could be an anchor to her like she currently is in the wc, providing a quiet comfort and making her open up little by little. Would prob be toxic at first bc of the MA arc and their desire for power, but is a very good ship I think. 9/10

Speedal/Sonic x Mumen: an old fav! Sonic would have a hard time not hating Mumen at first bc he’s the picture definition of a hero, sum he hates. But hanging out with him would show him Mumen is a GOOD guy genuinely and he’d be like ohhhh shit I’m in love w this man. Mumen would thoroughly appreciate someone to make him live a little, break some rules and stand up to ppl when they talk over him. He’d DEFINITELY be upset when finding out Sonic is an assassin, but would prob be conflicted bc he knows Sonic is a good person despite that. Would prob make Sonic give up on killing for them to be together. Sucks bc of the assassin thing and bc they haven’t met in canon! So we’re not sure how they’d interact with each other, sigh. 7.4/10

Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: a very underrated ship! To be clear, I headcanon Kama as a trans woman and so does most of the fandom. Anyway, very sweet and already built as a friendship bc of their partnership under Atomic Samurai. I can’t remember who writes fic and makes art of them on tumblr but AAAAA it’s so good! Very sweet. Basically depicted Bushi as a nervous himbo who’s honest about his feelings but scared to say them and Kama as a sweet lady who’s crazy about Bushi. Very sweet. Want more of them!! 6.1/10

OneZon/Zombieman x One Shotter: never even thought of the ship till I saw @megidolan art work! Very wholesome, and from what little we know of Shotter we know he’s a sort of nervous yet strong willed guy, and Zombieman would totally help him calm down bc he’s so chill. I could see them sharing cigarettes and talking shit on heroes while cuddling u know? 7/10 only because I don’t see enough of it but very good concept.

Mumarou/Mumen x Garou: a lot of ppl are gonna hate me for this but....I don’t like it. I’ve tried! I just—idk. I’ve read so many good fics about them that make me like it a bit, but the concept is just eh. I think their relationship is, in most reps, really cliche angsty stuff. I wish I could elaborate I just...gah! Basically, there’s better ships for the both of them imo. Sorry!! 4.3/10

Sonic x Flashy/SonFlash: yes!! Prob my fav Sonic ship. They have soooo much tension, it’s almost worse than Genos’ tension w Saitama. Flashy LITERALLY poisoned Sonic so that he wouldn’t be forced to kill him at the ninja graduation. He cares. They’ll never say it out loud, but they care. They have someone who understands what they went through in each other and someone they’re both so similar to, yet so different from. Sonic is more vocal about his expressions and let’s people know it while Flashy often keeps things to himself, they could really influence the other to be more this or that. I could see a lot of comfort with these two, and not much is needed for relationship development; they already have so much unspoken between them after meeting for the first time in years. Love it. Wish I saw it more! 10/11

KingSai: wonderful! Out of the few ppl Saitama is close to, def my second fav pick for a ship for him. There’s a post saying how Saitama doesn’t cut King off when he’s going on rants about games and stuff bc he’s talking TO Saitama, not at him like Genos tends to do on accident. They’re already great buddies! Saitama could find a shy gamer man who he can talk to about manga and stuff and also a passionate bf who could break out of his shell w Saitama and be himself with no lies. King can have someone to protect him, duh, someone who finally understands his weird sense of humor, and someone to shower him in the love and kindness he deserves when Saitama is in the mood to be all out like that w his affections. Plus he’s Saitama’s anchor and brings him back down when he’s super anxious and depressed and tells him what’s up that he needs to fix without sugarcoating it. Would def have a bunch of inside jokes and go on dates that are just staying inside playing video games all night. Domestic af. 10/10

Fubuki x Mizuki: my first wlw Fubuki ship! Hard to find but very good. Mizuki is this big ball of kindness, energy, and raw power that would make Fubuki go ‘Ohhhhhhh, big pretty lady make brain go brrr.’ I could see Mizuki grounding Fubuki when she’s in over her head, giving her random gifts bc she saw sum and thought of her, doing a marathon run and wildly waving at Fubuki in the crowd, and all around being a dependable woman confident in herself and in love with a mysterious esper. Prob a little shy when it comes to anything physical bc she loves Fubuki so much and is overwhelmed by the realness of being w her. Fubuki gives Mizuki advice on ‘acting like a proper hero’ or whatever and though Mizuki thinks she doesn’t need it, Fubuki still helps her a lot w her career and being taken more seriously by others. Would give Mizuki someone who loves her for who she is and would go wild on her in private when she can be open about her affection, would be someone Mizuki could exercise with and listen intently to Mizuki’s physical knowledge, and would absolutely bandage her when she’s all banged up. Hnghh love this ship. It’s only behind the FubuPsy ship juuuuust a little bc they haven’t met in canon so we can’t be sure about their interactions and stuff. 8.8/10, I love WOMEN

Batarou: how could I go this far without mentioning them?! They have SOOOO much tension in the centichoro fight, like come on. Both snarky assholes who are huge softies one the inside, Badd being the more logical one (still a himbo, tho) and Garou being the more chaotic one. Probably take forever to admit their feelings bc they’re so prideful and stupid <3 flirt through constant wrestling matches and it takes Genos saying ‘they should kiss already, they’re getting on his nerves’ for them to finally realize what’s up. (@rayadraws has a great au where Garou Genos and Badd are a chaotic friend squad and Genos is the only brain of the group, haha. Very good au y’all check it out!) Would constantly pick on each other affectionately and switch into concerned SO when the other is hurt like the big teddy bears they are. Raise Zenko together for sure. Garou would fumble being romantic and Badd would find it both hilarious and cute. 11/12

Zombie mask/Amai x Zombieman:

So. I don’t like Amai Mask and I used to hate him, BUT the webcomic and fic have really helped me calm down on him (he’s still a dick tho), so it’s easier to want to ship him and stuff. Bc of Amai’s anger issues and controlling behavior, I could see this relationship being super toxic and icky—but I think they have some form of understanding that pulls Amai back from being a complete dick, you know? Start off as fuck buddies and slowly form something else from spending companionable time together other than screwing. Zombieman pulls Amai back from his angry fits and soothes him over with his logic. Talk maaaaaad shit about heroes, but only when they’re alone because Zombieman knows Amai will talk loud af about the heroes they’re roasting and Zombie doesn’t wanna stop a fight from happening. Zombieman loves making Amai flustered and has a secret check list in his head of all the things that get Amai red faced. Loves to listen to Amai rant about things for hours and loves to watch his face go through almost cartoon like expressions as he talks. He won’t admit it, but Zombie loves to be spoiled by Amai’s shit tons of cash and often takes rides in Amai’s limos when he wants to smoke and think to himself. Amai has a hard time realizing how his feelings have changed, but gets hit hard with it when he wakes up to Zombie making them breakfast one morning while wearing Amai’s underwear. Amai also loves to spoil Zombie and takes him out to restaurants and buys him cool new weapons on the weekends. @batneko has pretty much gotten me into this ship and I strongly suggest looking at their works! 7.9/10

DemonKnight/Genos x Zero/Drive Knight: I’m pretty sure this used to be a crack ship before the past like 10 manga chapters—and now here we are! Not a fav bc 1. ZERO LEFT GENOS TO SELF DESTRUCT AFTER THEY COMBINED TO FORM THE FUCKING JET HE WAS JUST LIKE lol bye SO LIKE if he left him to die that’s super hard for me to forgive and ship grrr 2. Disregarding the manga’s canon and looking at the wc, while I love the little trip they went on where Zero demonstrated his abilities and helped Genos kill monsters, it’s super sus. He knew alllll of this info on Metal Knight and was super supportive and understanding when Genos said he needed time to think. Like,,,what are his intentions? We know so little about him—is he trying to trick Genos or was he being sincere? THAT STUFF ASIDE, they’re a really fun ship. They’re both huge fucking nerds and can keep up with their talk on robotics for hours, they’re both cyborgs so they understand each other’s pain, and they’re both super cool and angsty. I think they could really settle into a deep bond that can go platonic or romantic, just depends. Genos needs more ppl in his life so hell yeah! Plus, he can really let go with Zero bc they don’t have that teacher/student relationship and Zero, if he’s really a sincere and kind guy like in the wc, can be there for Genos and listen to him. Don’t have much to say on this ship other than @wellthisisembarrassing makes GORGEOUS art of them! 6.3/10

Webuiko/Suiko x Webigaza: YEAH I KNOW THEY HAVENT INTERACTED IN CANON AND WE DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THEM BUT HEAR ME OUT. Webigaza—cool af determined cyborg idol who’s surprisingly down to earth when talking with Child Emperor. Suiko—sassy and honest fighter who doesn’t take shit and is very passionate. Suiko would go to talk to Web then immediately freak out bc aaaa she’s way prettier than she thought, she can’t do this! Web would have to gently encourage Suiko to talk and at first is like ‘ah man, must be an adoring fan, ugh I’m so tired. At least she’s hot’ but when Suiko snaps out of her shyness Web is like oh! She’s super cool wtf. Always bump into each other during fights and help each other get fixed up, Suiko using her muscle power to lift Web’s pieces (and give Web a great view of Suiko’s muscles holy SHIT) and Web would patch Suiko up. Not to be stereotypical, but they’re def a masc/femme couple. I love the idea of this ship soooo much and I really hope they interact! 6.6/10 only bc they haven’t met 😭😭😭 look them up on here! There’s some great art of them by a few blogs

Dr. Kuseno x Bang: pretty sure @baldyborg came up with this one! Super cute. Just two old dudes finding a nice friendship in each other, maybe after Bang helps carry Genos to Kuseno’s after a day of fighting. Bang would find Kuseno to be a very cute little nerd man and would be sooo impressed by Kuseno’s mad scientist skills. Kuseno would be super impressed when seeing Bang in action too. They’d prob talk as soon as they meet each other and Genos would be in the background like you guys it’s been an hour, please fix me I’m on the verge of death 🧍🏻Bang would give Kuseno advice on training techniques to teach Genos and advice on making his bodies more martial arts ready or sum, meanwhile Kuseno would give his take on how to be kinder to Garou so that Bang would learn to repair the relationship with a gentleness he’s seemingly lacking (yes I’m talking about the chapter where he and Garou start fighting and Bang is just not doing enough to reach out to Garou, he’s being a callous old man! So yeah I’m still mad about that). Genos and Saitama would prob be out on a date and Saitama would be like oh theres Bang, wonder what he’s doing? Then Kuseno would walk up and kiss Bang and Genos and Sai would be shocked like SIRS 👬 Genos would tell Bang he doesn’t need another adoptive dad and Bang would be like....ok.... I see them retiring in a cottage together and Bang would become a huge softie. Yes I’m actively ignoring chapter 141 of the wc, shut up. 7.6/10

TankTop master x Mumen: they have a nice friendship going on in the manga right now! Just bros supporting bros. Tank is the picture definition of a muscly himbo and Mumen is his cute passionate bf. Also workout buddies af!! Don’t have much to say other than pretty good ship, just not a fav. 5.2/10

To sum it up—

GenoSai: 2718873737839439/10, Batarou: 11/12, SonFlash: 10/11, KingSai: 10/10, FubuPsy: 9/10, Fubuki x Mizuki: 8.8/10, MumenSai: 8.4/10, ZombieMask: 7.9/10, Dr. Kuseno x Bang: 7.6/10, Speedal: 7.4/10, OneZon: 7/10, Webuiko: 6.6/10, DemonKnight: 6.3/10, Okamaitachi x Bushidrill: 6.1/10, TatsuKing: 6/10, TankTop Master x Mumen: 5.2/10, Mumarou: 4.3/10, FubuSai: 4/10, SonSai: 3/10, Genos x Sonic: 1.3/10, TatsuSai: 0/10, anyone x Puri: -1283828319833468282/10

If there’s any ships I left out, it’s bc I don’t know them, don’t wanna talk about them, or just don’t have an opinion strong enough. Also, I know there are some poly ships like Genos x Saitama x Fubuki, but I’ve read only one fic about that (it was pretty good, here’s the link https://archiveofourown.org/works/5406992 ) so I don’t feel like talking about it. Hope no ones offended! All my opinion here :)

[ebonyslasher]

Michael Myers NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

At first, he's pretty detached. He just up and leaves the second y'all are done to redress and start stabbing some people. But, after getting more comfortable with you, he'll be much softer. Cleaning you up after, putting your hair back in the bonnet that slipped off halfway through......even asking "You ok?"

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him, his hands. They're rough, strong, and powerful. He's ended lives and disfigured bodies with those hands. He also loves the image of rubbing those hands down your body, gripping your neck, and squeezing on your curves... Speaking of squeezing, on you, his favorite body part is that ass. I can see Michael as an ass man; first time he saw how big yours was he started drooling in his mask (the face he made wasn't that much better). The ripples it makes whenever he's hitting it from the back gets stuck in his mind for a while.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Possessive boy likes laying his claim. Mostly inside you cause it feels the best and he loves seeing it leak out afterwards. But he also like to cum on your ass sometimes. You could have swore you heard a camera go off one time...

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He licks your dirty underwear, like fucking ice cream. Why tf he does, idk. Maybe it's the smell that entices him and also the fact that he likes tasting your essence. That boy been eating too many damn dogs...might be turning into one. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh, none what so ever. Can't really have sex when you're under watch 24/7 at Smith's Grove. All he knows is from what he watches his victims do and whatever tv shows/movies he watches. He's a very quick learner though. Very attentive.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

A variant version of reverse cowgirl. One of his legs is bent and the other is straight. You're ass is in perfect view while he pistons in and out of you. Your ass jiggling like crazy is addicting to him. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Michael and goofy don't really go together. You really don't want to know what he finds funny...

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I believe that he was really well groomed in Smith's Grove and people tend to stick to routine, especially serial killers. So he's pretty well groomed.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Romance is weird for Michael, since that implies there's a strong emotion behind each action. However, there is a rush of serotonin whenever he does some of those actions (mostly watching your reactions, which he really likes). So every once in a while, he'll do some random cute shit like say you're super pretty, you feel good, stroke your face, etc...

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

I don't really see Michael actively masturbating, like at all. I feel like he would have so much control that he could just cum without actually touching himself. On some superpower shit. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

M'am this man is the whole kink book lol but seriously he's down to try out new stuff. He'll let you know if he doesn't like it or not. Just to name a few: blood, choking, bondage, and domination.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Whatever, wherever. He don't give a damn.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Many things; you never know with this man. Could be from just watching you different stuff like working on a project or cooking. Flirting, especially when you say something a lil raunchy. Gets him ready immediately. Weirdly enough, he loves the different facial expression you make, even if it's super silly.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

No family at all. Don't mention any family members at all. Also don't thirst over anyone else but him, even if it's a celebrity or character. Also, not into pregnancy. No babies.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

I'd say Michael is pretty equal on both. He likes getting head and giving some too. He loves seeing your pretty lips wrapped around him and the feeling of your oh so expert blowjobs. But he also loves seeing your reaction when he's in between them legs. Moaning his name makes it all the while sweeter.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Rough as hell, but also can be slow at times. It's not really one or the other with him, he mixes it all up in one session. Maybe he starts slow, goes fast and rough for a bit, and then switches to sensual depending on the position and your reaction to it. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

A good quickie is appreciated every once in a while. He does have people to kill, and in an organized fashion. He'll fit you into the schedule though.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Down for anything. His only deal breaker it that you won't be hurt. Yeah, he may nick you with his knife here and there. But he doesn't want to see you hurt at all. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

A whole machine. Can go rounds without cumming. But also can cum multiple times without too much of a cooldown period. You'll be dickmatized for sure. The record so far is 7 in one day.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Eh, he doesn't really care. If there are toys, he would rather used it on you to make you go crazy. Other than that, nah.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Like I said previously, he would use toys to make you go crazy. He loves teasing you; he knows you're at your wits end when you start mouthing at him, saying crazy shit. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Pretty silent, though a good bit of deep breathing. Most you'll get is some breathy sounding whimpers every once in a while. He may talk to get you to move a certain way, say your name, and say "mine".

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

So it's understood that he likes watching your every reaction right? And that he does it during sex? Well, sometimes he will grab your head and just stare at you, while tilting his head at the reactions he finds interesting. His favorite reactions (the ahegao-like facial expressions) make him actually drool. You felt it even drip on your chest. Strange.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

4 inches soft and around 8 inches hard. Has a nice girth on him. Grey sweatpants would look good on him.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High to the motherfuckin’ sky, probably even to space lmao. He's in control of it; but he is ready to go anytime you bring your sexy ass over to him. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He watches you sleep, just admiring your features. Those cute eyelashes.....nice eyebrows....that button like nose with those cute and wide shaped nostrils......pretty lips. You're just pretty as hell. He'll fall asleep eventually.

[t-wordkittyfics]

if ur doing headcanons could u do kiibouma if ur okay with that? thanks in advance!

Sorry it took so long to get round to this! I’ve been taking a little break from social media recently but I’m back babey :)

Kiibouma

1. Who has the cutest tickle laugh?

I’m gonna say Kiibo! This is just a personal preference because I really love his cannon voice!! I feel like his laugh would be a little more panicky than Kokichi’s because he wouldn’t really understand what was going on if that makes sense?

2. Who is ticklish in weird places and where would that be?

For Kokichi, well he’s ticklish all over, but I think his neck would be the worst spot! I know that’s not really a weird place but hey lol. As for Kiibo, I think his ears would be kind of ticklish, but not too much.

3. Who gets cheer-up tickles?

Both, but more so Kokichi! I think that before Kiibo comes to learn and understand tickling completely, he would just see it as something weird that got Kokichi to laugh a lot so whenever the latter looked down he would go in and tickle him for a while! Once Kiibo came to learn what tickling really was (namely after he experienced it for the first time), this would continue, but he became more aware of everything like Kokichi’s worst spots and his limits.

4. Who takes advantage of the other getting stuck in their T-shirt?

Definitely Kokichi!! Obviously Kiibo doesn’t wear clothes in game but if he did, Kokichi wouldn’t hesitate. He’d make a game of it too, teasing constantly about how Kiibo couldn’t escape without damaging the shirt.

5. How did they discover each other’s ticklishness?

Kiibo first discovered it when Kokichi was being pouty and he tried to lift him up by his armpits. This made Kokichi squeal a little bit and Kiibo dropped him, scared that he’d hurt Kokichi, but he just brushed it off and said it was nothing. When Kiibo told Miu about it later, still kind of confused, Miu laughed at him for not realising that Kokichi was ticklish. Of course, she had to explain to him what this meant (leaving out the part about it being absolute torture) and said that he should try again. As for Kiibo, well, Kokichi just wanted revenge for Kiibo tickling him so often. He got Miu to install a ‘tickle button’ onto Kiibo, and she agreed without much persuasion. It basically transferred human touch into electric signals that would tickle Kiibo immensely. Not knowing what he was getting himself into, Kiibo agreed to the installation. It didn’t take long for him to regret it though!

6. Who can’t take tickle bites?

Kokichi for sure!! His worst spot is his neck so tickle bites drive him crazy!

7. Who has to be tickle-forced out of bed in the morning?

Kokichi again. He’s the kinda guy to not want to get up until like noon, so Kiibo, who is always up at the nick of dawn, has to take action. He gives him plenty of warnings, which makes him think Kokichi’s just asking for it sometimes. But sometimes on weekends and holidays, Kokichi will get up super early just to get revenge! (Yes this one was copy and pasted from my Saiouma headcannons but it still applies here lmao)

8. Who gives up in a tickle fight?

Probably Kokichi! I imagine that due to Kiibo’s weight, it makes it a lot harder for Kokichi to escape when being tickled, and a lot easier for Kiibo to escape whe Kokichi turns on him. With no hope of escape, I can imagine Kokichi would be forced to give up.

9. Who is in danger of getting hurt during a tickle fight?

Kokichi again lol. Again, due to kiibo’s weight and materials, Kokichi is more likely to get injured. However Kiibo always takes extra special care to not hurt Kokichi, even if it means he gets tickled to his limits.

10. Who is more likely to provoke the other into tickling them?

Kokichi would definitely try to, but Kiibo would never get the message, so it never really worked. Well, it worked once, but only once. And Kiibo really really lost it that time. Now instead, Kokichi just acts sad or blatantly asks Kiibo to tickle him when he’s in the mood. On the other hand, Kiibo never tries to get Kokichi to tickle him, but constantly annoys him by complete accident. Kokichi always comes to the conclusion that tickling Kiibo is the best punishment!

Thank you for the ask!!

[arhvste]

hc for kenma and fem reader, that’s been friends w hinata since middle school and goes to karasuno, like how would they meet, how would they confess, first date etc. can the reader also be a first year. but doesn’t play volleyball she just watched hinata sorry if that doesn’t make sense

we’re all soft for kenma hours 🙈

also there's a lot to consider and include here so this is going to be a little longer than my usual hcs posts 

-

KENMA WITH A FIRST YEAR S/O HE MEETS THROUGH HINATA

you’ve been friends with hinata since your first day of middle school when you got sat next to the excitable volleyballer 

you both ended up attending karasuno high much to his delight

when he’s not with his volleyball team he’s with you telling you everything about it since you don’t play the sport yourself 

you know all the rules and basics by now by attending enough of his practices and games

so hinata has just come back from the training camp that he attended in tokyo

he is telling you all about the new techniques and he’s worked on and all the new people he’s met

“there was this biiiggg third year! he’s captain of fukurodani and one of the top 4 aces in japan!!”

“uh huh”

“and his friend was captain of the rival team we want to play in nationals, another big third year with weird bed hair!”

“sounds like you met a lot of new friends”

“yup! but one of my new favourite friends is the setter of the team we want to play in nationals, his name is kenma, he’s a second year and he’s super quiet but he’s a real good player!”

hinata shows you a picture he took with this kenma 

there next to one of your closest friends stood a boy with long blonde hair, his dark roots showing but somehow it made his whole look all the more attractive, golden feline eyes and a gentle shy smile as he looked up at the camera.

now, while you’re thinking about how cute kenma is, hinata is actually watching you

you see, unbeknownst to you, the little middle blocker had mentioned you on several occasions to his new friend

something about kenma made hinata think of you while he was in tokyo

so he felt the need to talk all about you to him to which kenma listened to intently 

so there’s a practice match against nekoma coming up

obviously you go because you want to support your friend

you literally forget all about kenma and how he plays for nekoma

honestly hinata tells you all about every single new friend he meets wherever he goes

so it’s hard to keep track of who is who and where everyone comes from

but the picture of kenma comes flashing back when you see him out on the court

hinata wasn’t lying

he was a good player

he seems like he isn’t that into it but you can tell he’s calculating his moves to be precise 

very much a contrasting character compared to the rest of his outgoing team

nekoma end up winning by one set but it’s only a friendly practice match so all is well

you go down to congratulate hinata and the rest of the team

and hinata is there with kenma chatting happily while the shy setter is smiling and nodding slightly 

you make your way over to hinata and he notices you and his smile beams even brighter

“kenma look! this is y/n the friend i told you all about! isn’t she pretty?!”

you’re blushing and so is kenma 

brief introductions are done between the two of you and before you know it hinata is off to go and annoy kageyama 

you’re left there standing with the rivalling team’s setter

at first the atmosphere is awkward but kenma actually speaks up first

“so... you’re friends with shoyo he's told me a lot about you”

“all good things i hope”

kenma lets out a small smile and your heart flutters slightly

“all good things”

you and kenma actually have a pretty good conversation from there and end up exchanging social handles

from there your friendship begins properly 

tagging each other in memes

late night texting 

kenma even convinces you to indulge in a few games he himself plays

kuroo notices kenma has been smiling at his phone more lately

“new game?”

“no”

“ohoho? no game? is it a girl?~”

“y/n from karasuno”

kenma is so blunt dhfshdfgsdugsdfu

kuroo is sitting there like 👁💧👄💧👁

“you didn't tell me you had a girlfriend i thought we were best friends”

“she isn’t my girlfriend”

“do you want her to be though?”

kenma is silent 

you are the first girl he has actually felt comfortable with 

you guys have been friends for a good 3 months now 

maybe he did want you to be his girlfriend but he isn’t sure how to go about confessing 

one night the two of you are up playing animal crossing together 

it’s 2am and neither of you feel like sleeping 

you’re ready to go catch some fish but you check your mail box first and see a letter from kenma 

it says ‘come over to my island i have something to show you’

you notice kenma is online

when is he not online?

his gates are usually open around these hours for people selling turnips or whatever 

so you make your way over to kenma’s island and his little character is waiting fro you outside the airport

then he calls you over the phone to which you answer

the two of you are just casually talking and gently laughing with each other until kenma speaks up

“follow me”

he says quietly through the phone 

so your little animal crossing characters and running around the screen until kenma leads you to a patch of gold roses

gOLD ROSES hufgugfegbfgu rich boy tings 

“KENMA YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU GOT GOLD ROSES WTF??”

and in the middle of the patches of roses you see a personalised sign 

you guys know the ones im talking about right? the little boards you can make and decorate around your island 

n e ways 

‘y/n, will you be the cyrus to my reese’

that’s so fuckin cute ily kenma fhjdfd

so after you read it you have the biggest smile on your face

“of course i will kenma!”

he is smiling so hard rn 

ugh you’re official now yes bitches

hinata is e c s t a t i c when he find out 

kuroo is so mf smug but he’s so proud of kenma 

the first chance you get you go to visit tokyo to see your new boyfriend 

the two of you go to a cat cafe 

and then you guys are strolling through a park and feed the ducks 

and then you guys go back to kenma’s house for take out 

you’re both playing animal crossing, smash bros, mario kart etc 

at the start of the day kenma is so nervous  

but you make him feel so comfortable the nerves wash away

but anyways y’all are thriving playing your games 

kenma isn't huge on pda but he does acknowledge the fact you don’t get to see each other too often so he will be open to cuddling 

you’re resting your head on his shoulder while you play though

nothing to crazy you guys are taking it slow after all

your aunt lives in tokyo so you’ll be staying with her for the night

so neither of you have to worry about weirdos on the train at night 

so it gets to about 10:45 and you and kenma decide to call it a night 

this shy baby gives u a soft kiss before you go

he is so soft fjahfk

after that date there are many more to come 

as well as hinata’s matches you also some to watch kenma play whenever you can

the nekoma team love you

they’re so happy their precious kenma has finally found someone outside of volleyball who makes him happy 

you’re basically shared between both teams now 

nationals who are you gonna cheer for tho lmao 

i honestly think when kenma finds the right one he’ll stay with her 

like he doesn’t open up easily so when he knows he’s found the one he will absolutely feel more comfortable in opening up and being more vulnerable 

kenma wasn’t really bothered about love and relationships before 

but thanks to you he’s glad he stepped out his comfort zone

because besides the family he’s got in volleyball 

he also has you know 

and you’ve taught him a new form of love 

-

requests are open!!