#he’s also in therapy because his ex cheated on him.

[strange-spaghetti]

nononononononononoal

[saintobio]

sincerely yours. (9)

↳ gojou satoru/reader

when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 

genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 

tags/warnings. profanity, usage of alcohol, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut

series masterlist -> episode ten

Satoru had a major problem. 

And it was his self-control. His lack of self-control was the reason he had engaged himself in an adulterous relationship back when he was married. His lack of self-control was the reason why you had become the recipient of his unreasonable anger in the early stages of your marriage. His lack of self-control was the reason why, out of all the women in the world, he was now sleeping with a friend of yours. For God’s sake, his lack of self-control was probably the reason why you were also pushed to your limits, choosing to cut your marital ties with him and leaving only the scraps of his role as a parent to Sachiro.

Back when he was attending his weekly therapy sessions, his therapist told him that part of what he needed to learn was to control his impulses, resist temptations, and actively exercise his willpower. They were easier to achieve then than now, since he was the loneliest man at the time with no friends, no wife, no son, and no bustling company to run. His decisions remained untainted, his temptations unchallenged, his emotions uninfluenced—a solitary journey at its finest. He was all by himself. How come? It was because he was sent by his mom to Osaka to temporarily seclude him from his harrowing memories in Tokyo, compelling him to sever ties with the outside world and immerse solely in personal convalescence. Reflecting now, it felt no different than being sent to a psychiatric hospital.

He could say it worked at the time. He learned how to keep his emotions at bay. He learned how to control his thoughts, throwing away the bad and keeping only the good. He was a new man by the time he returned to Tokyo, prepared as ever to take on his role as the Chairman of the Gojou Group, ready to once again try and live a normal life. But the moment news had spread about his ex-wife's marriage to his business rival, all the self-control he had painstakingly cultivated seemed to have evaporated in an instant.

Everything also went downhill after that. 

He wasn’t going to list down all of the things that happened nor the impact it had on him since you yourself were a witness to them. But if he was going to look at the way your return has changed the trajectory of his life 3 years after you first left, he would still at a hundred percent put all the blame on his shoulders. None of this domino effect would end up like this if he had been a faithful and loving husband in the first place. The pressure from his father was not the only root of all this, the branches also extended to his corporate greed which ultimately ruined his chance at a fruitful marriage with you. 

But at least, the chaos should have settled by now. You chose to move forward and he decided to respect your decision by finding his way to another. This should free you both from the emotional torture that had you imprisoned in each other's cage for the longest time. He would still be there for you as the father of your child, but otherwise, he was happy that you had Toji Zen’in by your side to fill in the marital gaps that he had failed to complete. 

A heavy sigh escaped his lips. The warm water fell on his body in rivulets, soaking him completely so early in the morning as he decided to take a long shower. For how long? He couldn’t tell. He could stay there for hours if need be. He had to let his mind wander on its own, with a hand pressed against the wall, and another stroking his white hair back. Despite accepting the fact that Toji now owned your love and affection… well, wasn’t that son of a gun too lucky? Did he even realize that the woman he would marry was once Satoru’s entire universe? 

Ah, but who cares? Satoru scoffed inwardly, leaning his head back to let the water hit his face. He had Akemi, so why did it matter if you had Toji? He wasn’t bitter. He was just trying to reason with himself that you deserved to be with someone you really, truthfully loved. And he deserved that, too. Maybe not now, but at the perfect time, he could relive the life of a married man after learning from his mistakes the hard way. A much better one. A married man who would never in his life betray, hurt, or ruin his partner. A doting husband who would offer his whole life just to make her happy. He promised to himself that Akemi should have that kind of man from him. 

Though, he could ask himself, how far was he from achieving that? He did practice his self-control last night when joined you in the pool—his face, inches away from you. Hand gripping your hip. Eye-to-eye. Skin-to-skin. Your warm breath fanning his cheek. Just another step forward and your lips would touch. But he didn’t let that happen. He mustered all of his power to pull back from the gravity that was drawing him closer to you. Still, he couldn’t deny that you looked absolutely gorgeous last night. As the moonlight illuminated your face, he could swear that the stars also sparkled on your eyes. They must be from the tears you were desperately holding back, but either way, you were still so goddamn beautiful. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night and had to distract himself from looking at your lips, your collarbone, your chest, your curves…

“Fuck.” 

Talk about self-control. 

Satoru had none of that right now. His body reacted involuntarily to the thought of you last night. The sensual thought of you. The what-ifs.

What if he had wrapped your legs around his waist and enveloped your lips into a passionate kiss? 

He took a deep breath, still holding onto the wall as his other hand traveled to his growing member. 

What if he had carried you all the way into the living room and laid you naked on the couch? 

Closing his eyes, his hand started moving on its own, stroking his hardened cock and feeling every ridge as he pleasured himself. 

What if you had let him devour you? Let him roll his tongue on your entrance and taste your sweet, sweet flesh? 

Gojou let out a moan. A quiet yet desperate moan when he continued to jerk himself off faster and rougher. Damn it. He had to keep it low and he better not be heard committing such a sin in the bathroom. Although, he was confident that you were still sound asleep next to Sachiro in your bedroom, so he didn't think you would hear the noise he was making.

After all, it was shameless to know what was driving his feral thoughts right now. Thoughts of you letting him slide his tip along your entrance. Thoughts of him ramming his cock inside your tight cunt, being squeezed by your soft, velvet walls. Thoughts of your breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit your most sensitive spot. Fuck. Faster. He would have taken you on all fours, too. He would have let you ride his hardened shaft. He would have pressed you against the sofa and put your legs above his shoulders, letting you milk his cock with the tightness of your cunt. Satoru would release his warm seed into you in every position. He would shoot every drop of his cum straight to your womb, no doubt impregnating you for the second time around. He would absolutely love that. He would love seeing the residues of his wanton desire for you seeping out of your pussy. He would be at bliss watching your belly grow a few months after that, knowing that he had created yet another beautiful life inside of you. 

“Y/N…” 

Awakened by his senses, Satoru opened his eyes and saw the sticky white mess on his hand and on the wall. What the hell did he just do? More importantly, what the hell was he thinking of? 

No one should know about that. Not you, not even Akemi. He didn’t cheat on her, no. He didn’t do anything with you. That shouldn’t be counted as cheating. He didn’t even touch you. And he wasn't even officially dating Akemi.

No, no… 

Absolutely not.

Drowning into a pool of guilt, the first thing he did after that sinful shower session was to contact his supposed girlfriend not-girlfiend. And to make things even more awkward, you entered the kitchen in silence at the right time, carrying a sleepy Sachiro in your arms, unaware of the dilemma that was sending your ex-lover into a spiral.

“Morning,” he greeted almost inaudibly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of coffee afterwards. He had to think straight. 

“Morning,” was your simple and oblivious reply as you went about your daily morning routine. 

Gojou, on the other hand, was typing on his phone because Akemi wasn’t answering his FaceTime calls. He had completely forgotten to update her all day because he had been a little bit too occupied the moment he landed in America. She must be overthinking why he hadn’t reached out to her until now, and he felt extremely awful and responsible for that, but she couldn’t be fast asleep that early, right? It was 7:00 a.m. in New York, so that meant it was only 9:00 p.m. back home. 

He nervously rang her number once more, mumbling a ‘please answer’ as he watched her caller ID appear on the screen. 

“Dada,” called Sachiro, looking at him as his mother sat him on the high chair to prepare his breakfast. 

Still holding his phone, Satoru walked to his son and placed a gentle kiss on his tiny forehead. “Morning, Sachi. Did you sleep well?” 

The toddler nodded at him, drinking milk from the baby bottle that he was holding with both hands. His eyes were wide and blue—quite the same hues of blue that would remind you of a clear sky. Satoru couldn’t help but pinch his adorable son’s cheeks. 

And while you were busy picking out food from the pantry, Akemi finally answered his call after the fourth attempt and showed her beautiful, soft features on the screen. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of her. “Hey, how are you?” 

He could tell she was still a bit distant and upset because of what happened two weeks ago, when she claimed to have heard him say your name during his sleep. He already made an excuse for it as he also didn’t know why he even did it in the first place, but Akemi was still understandably hurt. He couldn’t blame her. 

“I’m fine, how are you?” she tiredly asked, seemingly heading towards her bed. “I just got home from work, that's why I wasn’t answering.” 

He could see, in the corner of his eyes, that you were glancing at him but he didn’t return it. All of his focus was on Akemi, feeling bad that he hadn’t exactly been a good partner for her lately. Especially after the shit he just did in the shower this morning, but that was a secret that was meant to be buried. “Alright, did you have dinner already? It’s morning here so I’m having breakfast.”

She offered a small smile albeit the visible exhaustion on her eyes. “I did. How’s Sachiro doing?” 

“You wanna see him?” He walked closer to his son, showing him on the screen as his big blue eyes stared at the woman on the other end of the line. “Sachi, say hi to Auntie ‘Kemi.” 

“Hiii~” Sachiro happily greeted Akemi, while the latter cooed at the sight of his son. She spoke to him with a gentle and motherly tone, weaving warmth and love into her words. It made his heart full knowing that Akemi would wholeheartedly treat his child as her own, because if there was a slight possibility that she wouldn’t, she knew that Satoru would rather let her go. His child was still more important than any other woman. And so if his future partner couldn’t accept the fact that he had a child with his ex-wife, then they shouldn’t be in his life after all. The case was different with Akemi because she was already your friend and she had the chance to see Sachiro grow up before Gojou even knew his son existed at all. It was a bit complicated, but things turned out to be easier on the part of acceptance. 

The only problem was you. 

Because by the time the call ended, Satoru could tell that you weren’t in the best mood as you ate breakfast next to Sachiro in complete silence. Your eyebrows were curled into annoyance, and yet your eyes held sadness in them, an expression that had become difficult for him to fathom. Were you jealous of Akemi? He assumed you would say no, but your expressions showed otherwise. 

“Y/N,” he called for your attention, hoping that you would look into his eyes for a little bit. Yet, not a chance did you do. “What’s our agenda for today?” 

You seemed irritated, if anything. You refused to look at him as you gave a curt reply. “I communicated everything you needed to know via email. You should have checked it instead of letting Miwa do everything for you.”

Jeez. You were definitely angry. “Okay.” He cleared his throat once more. “I just asked in case there was a last minute change.” 

“There isn’t. I would have said so if there is.” 

“Right.”

Satoru didn’t know how to act in front of his ex-wife anymore. Now that he had seemed to ignite your pique, he chose not to say anything else further as you two finished your meals and cleaned up after yourselves. The only time he spoke again was when he offered to bathe Sachiro so that you could focus on yourself. 

You agreed. 

And he did his part. 

It was simple give-and-take. A transactional relationship, if you must. Nothing else would blossom from that except your responsibilities as parents for Sachiro. 

——

The New York trip was already as awkward as it was. And it only just started. 

To be fair, it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable if only Gojou had not decided to make it so. He was the one that made the atmosphere unpleasant by trying to savor every inch of closeness he could get to your skin, only to pull away as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t care about how it made you feel. He even had the audacity to lecture you on how to go about being good parents and setting a good example to Sachiro. Then suddenly, the next morning, he would act like such a loyal and caring partner to Akemi. 

The thought of his loyalty made you scoff on the inside. He should be the absolute last one to be saying that. He should be the last one to profess how much of a loyal man he was trying to be to his new girl. 

Besides, even before this trip was arranged, you had already made it clear on your mind that the sole purpose of going to New York was for Sachiro's sake. Any interaction outside the need to be there for your son would be unnecessary. He wasn’t someone you still needed in your own personal life nor did he need you in his. Your past relationship no longer mattered in this situation and all that was left was for it to be forgotten. But even with your resistance to be anything more than a parent to your son, Satoru still respected you. He still showed, even in little ways, that he cared about your comfort throughout the trip. 

Five days had gone by, and everything you did in New York had been smooth sailing, all thanks to his grand number of connections across the USA. In a short amount of time, Sachiro’s surname had been legally changed, and everything else concerning his birth certificate had been corrected. The only issue left to address was your son’s nationality since Japan doesn’t permit dual citizenship and Sachiro would have to carry a Japanese citizenship and the Gojou name to be able to inherit his father’s assets and multinational conglomerate. You would leave that one up for Satoru to deal with, but everything else had been settled on your end. 

Although this trip wasn’t exactly a vacation, Gojou insisted that you two still take Sachiro out to explore the city he grew up in. And you did so by going to Central Park, telling your ex-husband stories of how you used to bring Sachiro there in a stroller when he was still a little baby and that plenty of strangers, both locals or tourists, would coo at him the minute they took a peek at his adorable face. You also took him to the Empire State Building to get the best view of the entire New York City, and Satoru being Satoru couldn’t leave without taking a family photo with you and your son, capturing the beautiful urban cityscape behind you. You could see it in his eyes that even though he was happy to be there, he was also melancholic at the same time. Almost three years of his son’s life were spent in this famous city, without him, and it was as though the bitter memories of those three years for him were haunting him back. Sadness was reflecting off of his crystal blue eyes as he took a minute staring at the view of the city, reminding you that you were the reason why he had missed out on his baby’s first memories. 

If guilt could literally eat you alive, you would have been devoured. 

“Ready to go, Sachi?” Satoru asked your son, tucking his phone away after having (seemingly) sent Akemi a text message, probably updating her of where he was and what he was doing. In fact, he had been texting and calling her every now and then, as if he was doing his best to reassure her that he wasn’t doing any funny business with you. Has Akemi always been a possessive partner? Even with your years of friendship with her, she had never acted that way in her past relationship. So, was she only like that to Satoru specifically? You wondered if she would go nuts had she heard Satoru tell you how badly he wanted to make more babies with you on your first night here. 

Sachiro nodded, clinging to your hand while reaching for his father’s. “Dada, hand pwease!” 

Satoru did offer his hand, but mirrored the surprise on your face when your son tried to link your fingers together, urging you to hold each other's hands like a couple. You didn’t want to get too offended by it, but your ex-husband was the first one to pull away. “I, uh, made a reservation for us in Carbone,” he said, unable to exchange eye-contact, “Yuuta will meet us there.” 

“Oh, he’s in New York?” you asked, pretending you didn’t notice how he acted allergic to your touch and redirected your attention to your son. “Did you hear that, Sachi? Uncle Yuuta will come and see you.” 

Your little one was oblivious to the world, too distracted by the throng of people surrounding the place that he didn’t even notice how his parents were uneasy with each other. To say that you didn’t feel bad for your son was a lie, because it actually broke your heart. Even if you and Satoru were working on co-parenting and making sure Sachiro wouldn’t feel the gravity of a broken household, you knew that when he reached the right age, all of this would still have an effect on him. One day, he would still be asking questions about his parents. Questions about why you separated, why your marriage failed, and why you had to move to New York while his father stayed behind. It hurt. Deep inside, it hurt so much to know that your only son wasn’t given the chance to have a complete family and it felt like a failure on your part as his parent. 

You were sure that was what Yuuta thought, too. As you met with him at a fancy restaurant in the city, you could see how his face lightened up seeing his nephew bonding with his parents as if it were a family vacation. He must have known what it was like to have a broken household. In fact, he had lived in a toxic one before, but he still grew up to be a mature and dignified young man who never let the horrors of his family’s actions affect his rational thinking. So if there was anyone in the world who would sympathize the most with Sachiro, it would be Yuuta.

“Sachi,” he spoke to your son fondly, wiping the sauce on the toddler’s chin. Yuuta chuckled as he watched the little boy's grimace after being given a small piece of broccoli. “You don’t like vegetables?” 

You fixed the bib on your son’s neck. “He does, but he’s very picky with it,” you tell Yuuta, glancing at Satoru who was busy speaking on the phone with Nanami about what appeared to be matters concerning the company. “Wonder where he got it from.” 

“Right.” Yuuta’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he smiled. “I remember nii-san being a little picky.” 

“You hear that Sachi?” you teased your son, who looked at you with his cute puppy eyes. You knew that if you had the ability to peak through his toddler mind, it would actually be full of fried chicken. The thought made you laugh. “Don’t be like daddy, okay? Sachi needs to have his veggies so he’ll be strong when he grows up.” 

“But…” Sachiro pointed to his father. “Dada is stwong.” 

Satoru chimed in at the conversation after having finished the call, “That’s right, Dada’s strong. Mommy could barely even handle me.” 

“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” You rolled your eyes, while Yuuta wanted to giggle, but chose to hold it back seeing the awkwardness of the situation.

Satoru shrugged and sat on his chair, eyeing the scrumptious dishes that were served to your table. He was acting like he hadn't been served more expensive meals before. “Have you tried the spicy rigatoni before? I heard it’s famous here.” 

You casually answered. “Yes. Toji used to bring me here every time he visited.” 

Look, you didn’t mean to overshare nor did you mean to make things even more awkward. You also didn’t mean to slap it in his face about how you were spending your years in New York with Toji. But Satoru, with his pride, took it resentfully. 

“Oh, really?” His words were the opposite of his voice. He was mirthless and full of unenthusiasm before changing the topic, redirecting his attention to his step-brother instead. “How’s Harvard?”

Yuuta eased the tension by making small talk, sharing details about his university life, and making sure he didn’t contribute to the growing tension. “I’m really just trying to survive this semester so I can go back home as soon as I graduate.” After taking a sip of his Cabernet Blend, he continued, “Like I promised, I’ll help you with the company.” 

You were happy, at least, to know that Satoru and Yuuta had fixed their relationship as step-brothers even after the whole incident with Nana, Eula, and their father. What used to be a relationship full of envy and competition finally became one that was full of mutual trust and support. Yuuta deserved that since he never once wished for his brother’s downfall, while Satoru also deserved to have a family member that had his back and helped him with the business without constantly fighting about inheritance. Because technically, Satoru was the sole heir of the Gojou family, and his dad only made it seem as though he would give it to Yuuta to make his own son comply with his orders. Satoru’s dad was controlling in that sense, and that was what led to all of this. 

But the present was more important. Things have changed and mistakes have been learned. It was all up to you on how you were going to manage your new life moving forward. 

Only, if only things were a little bit different on his side.

——

You had raised your son all by yourself for the last 3 years, so the presence of his father wasn’t really something you were used to for the longest time. How Sachiro acted around other people was solely a reflection of your teachings, discipline, and guidance as his mother. He didn’t really have a paternal figure up until now, and even if Toji was there to support your journey to motherhood, he never fully meddled with your mother-son relationship nor did he act like a replacement to Sachiro’s biological father. He loved him like his own, but respected the fact that the spot was reserved for Satoru. He knew that. He understood that, because he himself experienced raising a child alone without the presence of a mother. And if you asked him, he, too, would not want Megumi to replace the very love that he was supposed to have for his biological mom. Sure, Megumi could love and respect you, but Toji would still want him to save an unnegotiable spot for his mother in his heart. After all, she had birthed him. And in that same way, you had birthed Sachiro and created him with Satoru during your marriage. If there was anyone Sachiro should look up to, it had to be his father. 

And quite frankly, the father himself was doing an excellent job. 

But then again, remembering how hands-on Satoru was to you during your pregnancy, you never doubted that he would be a good parent. He may not be a perfect husband, but he loved his child with all of his heart and soul, and he would risk it all just to keep him happy. 

It was new to you how, throughout the trip, you didn’t have to take care of Sachiro alone. You and Satoru helped each other harmoniously, attending to your toddler’s needs and making sure he was being prioritized. You were glad. Truly. You were grateful to see that he wasn’t an absent father and that his words weren’t empty when he promised you that he would be a responsible dad to him. 

Though, at the back of your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he welcomed another child in this world? A child that didn’t come from you? Deep inside, it hurt you to imagine him neglecting Sachiro on the side the minute he welcomed a new baby with Akemi. The reality was, the father would always prioritize the child of the current wife, not the child of the ex-wife. He would still support him, sure. But would he still pay the same level of attention that he was giving Sachiro now? You would probably break in half if Sachiro was thrown to the agonizing realm of feeling like an outsider in his own family because no child deserved that. If Satoru had that experience first-hand, he should not subject his own son to that same feeling.

You would be selfish to say this, but you wanted to seize the opportunity while Sachiro was still his only son. Hiding him from his father was your fault—you had gone through that a million times and you weren’t shy at holding yourself accountable through that mistake. However, you were already doing your best to make amends and make up for the years Sachiro had missed around his father. He was Satoru’s first and only child, and therefore he should never fight for his father’s affection. You weren’t sure what Satoru’s long term plans with Akemi were, but if they were considering having their own children someday, you would never allow your son to be pushed back at the bottom of the family tree.

Sachiro was the true first-born son of Satoru. He should never have to fight for his position in his father's eyes.

And so on the night of your flight back to Japan, when Satoru asked if he could take Sachiro with him for the rest of the week, you had no problems in saying yes. Your only wish right now was for them to spend as much time together as possible.

“Where are you taking him?” you did ask in spite of your leniency to send your son away, waiting inside the car as the pilot and crew prepared the private jet. “Please send me the full address. I need to know where he’s gonna stay and—”

“You’ll get the details from Miwa,” he casually said, rubbing Sachiro’s back as the little boy slept on his chest. He didn’t bother meeting your eyes as he talked. “I’m just taking him to my vacation home in Osaka.”

Osaka…

That was where his mother isolated him from the rest of the world when he was having terrible episodes. Episodes that worsened after he had found out that you ‘terminated’ his child and abandoned him for good. Shoko once said that they felt like Gojou disappeared from their lives while he was there, because nobody else could reach out to him. They couldn’t visit him nor could they contact him for a year or so until he was mentally ready to come back to Tokyo. 

You didn’t want to pry on matters that were sensitive to him, so you chose not to say anything concerning his decision to take Sachiro to Osaka. He must have wanted to reflect on his past experiences, allowing him to heal from them as it brought him to the incommutable life he had now—life knowing that Sachiro actually existed after everything that he was made to believe. 

“Please take good care of him, okay?” It was only a reminder, nothing else.

Satoru kept a straight face, nodding before he planted a kiss on his son’s forehead. “I got it from here.” 

After a minute of silence, you both got out of the car and you watched him carry the peaceful Sachiro in his arms. You left the sleeping toddler a tender kiss on the cheek before parting ways. “I love you, my baby.” Stroking his hair, you kissed his tiny nose. “Mommy will see you soon.” 

Satoru knew that you were staying behind. You had informed him of your plans before you even came here to the airport with him, explaining that Toji would be in Miami and that you had made arrangements to meet with your fiancé there. Satoru didn’t say anything much about it either, simply nodding his head at your decision and telling you to ‘do whatever’ because he was no longer a husband you should report your plans to. There was no hint of jealousy in his stance, but you couldn't miss the flicker of bitterness that did appear on his eyes for a millisecond. 

You didn’t even say goodbye to each other as you watched them board the plane. And he didn’t even bother looking back at you to tell you to take care of yourself. Not that you expected anything from him, but a quick goodbye would have been nice since you did spend the last couple of days together. Or perhaps, he was upset about the fact that you were staying behind to meet Toji? 

Either way, you were on your own now. 

It took some time for you to reach Toji in Miami. He had insisted on meeting you at the airport, but because he had to meet with a foreign investor, you headed straight to the hotel he was staying at. Funny enough, you couldn’t help but compare how different it was to stay in the same accommodation as your fiancé vs with your ex-husband and son. With Toji, nothing felt uncomfortable and sharing a room as a couple was as normal as it should be, but things did feel too formal and too forced. With Satoru, it felt awkward to share the same space with him, but since your son was there, it felt like home. It felt strangely close to home, like it was only right. That staying together as a family was what your heart wanted. 

Ever since Satoru went back to Japan with Sachiro, you had been feeling a wave of separation anxiety. Your mind was always left wandering towards them; how they were doing, where they were, what they had for dinner. You wondered if Sachiro was giving his father a headache. Smiling at the thought, perhaps he was giving Satoru a hard time changing his diapers. 

“Everything okay?” Toji, noticing your trance, put an arm around you as you two sat at the VIP lounge of the Miami Grand Prix. This was Toji’s scene. If Satoru was a fan of horseback riding and polo, Toji preferred big time F1 races. He even personally knew the racers, the type of cars they were driving, and everything a huge fan had to know. You weren’t all that familiar with these things, so it was a little hard to keep up with his lifestyle. 

“Y-Yeah, sorry,” you stammered, realizing how distracted you had been all this time. “What were you saying?” 

He drank from his glass of 30 year-old Macallan, downing the liquor like it was mere water. A cloud of disappointment settled over his features. “Not interesting to you, huh?” 

“No, I…” You made an effort to place a hand on his nape, giving him an apologetic peck on the lips. “I’m really sorry for zoning out. I was just… I guess I was just a little tired from New York.”

Toji placed a hand on your knee, sighing. “It’s fine. I was just trying to introduce the guys to you,” he said, scooting closer as he pointed to the racers. “You know that guy? Lewis Hamilton. He’s quite popular with the ladies,” then he moved his finger towards the other drivers, “And we got here for Ferrari, Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, also fan favorites.” 

Your eyes suddenly caught sight of Gojou’s favorite car brand. “Um, how about McLaren? Who drives for them?” 

Unsure if Toji caught on or not, he did take a minute before feeding into your curiosity. “Norris and Piastri.” 

You wished you had any idea about F1 so that you could be as enthusiastic as Toji was at this event. He was at his happiest right now and you didn’t want to ruin it by being a boring, uncultured fiancé, because frankly, all these women around would have done a better job at entertaining him. Toji was very eye-candy and you couldn’t blame these models from glancing up at him, especially with how manly and suave he was, dressed like a picture perfect example of an old money businessman. The likes of him were the prey of these desperate influencers, willing to sell their bodies in exchange for a night with him. But truth be told, that was their way of living and you could never find it in yourself to insult them. You didn’t want to shame them for attempting to climb the social ladder because that was how they view money and success, or at least a faster ticket to it. 

As long as they didn’t try to make moves on your fiancé while you were around, you wouldn’t be so bothered by a few stares here and there. 

Neither was Toji. He must have experienced being stared at during these events plenty of times before, and he probably even sent women home crying because of rejection or worse, humiliation. Now that you think of it, how did Megumi feel when his father was being hit on while watching the Grand Prix? Most importantly, why was the teenage son absent at this current event? 

“Love, why didn’t you bring Megumi with you?” you inquired out of a sudden curiosity, knowing that Megumi was always present next to his father during F1 events. 

Toji took a sip of the hard liquor once more. “He didn’t wanna go. He was giving me the silent treatment before I left for the US.” 

Confusion further blanketed your eyes. “Did something happen back home?” 

He let out a deep breath, his face signaling that he was deep in dilemma. “The Zen’in elders want to set him up for an arranged marriage,” he revealed, much to your surprise, “They wanna make sure he’s not gonna end up like me, married to someone who wasn’t ‘qualified’ to be my wife.” 

At first you were confused if he was referring to you, but you realized that he was describing his late wife. Megumi’s own mother, the only woman Toji had ever loved by a mile. He fought everyone for her, even turned his back on his own family for her, but claimed that he also ultimately led her to her demise because the elders of his family harassed her until the day she died. It was a tragic love, perhaps even more tragic than yours, so you somehow understood why Toji was conflicted about Megumi’s personal life.

But you? You were strongly against it. “I don’t support arranged marriages, you know that,” you told him with conviction, sympathizing for the poor boy, “It’s not gonna end well. You know what happened to me…”

“I know.” Toji’s eyes were filled with regret. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it unless Megumi himself tells me he has someone he loves.” 

“Did you ask?” 

“He’s tight-lipped about it.” 

You sighed. “Well, he’s a teenager. They get pretty shy about these things.”

Forcing a marriage was never a good thing. You couldn’t understand why the concept even existed because it didn’t benefit anyone aside from the people around the married couple. That was why they called it a marriage of convenience. They were married for everyone’s sake but themselves; family name, status, business… You have had enough of it. If only you realized it from the very beginning, you never would have subjected yourself to a loveless marriage with Satoru. Even if your love did grow eventually, things still didn’t work out for the best, and now your life was a mess. A divorced couple co-parenting their only son? There was obviously no convenience gained in that false marriage.

Megumi would just be wasting years of his life tied to a person he didn’t love and so you were hoping that Toji would fight for his son’s right. Because if he truly understood you, he would not subject his son to the same suffering you went through. 

“I wish my wife was here,” mumbled Toji, forlornly, “She’d know how to handle these things better than I do.” 

Were you not there for him? You swallowed your pride, hiding the pain in your voice. “Right…” A smile was all that you could offer. “I’m sure she would.” 

——

Something was different about Toji and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 

It wasn’t his appearance, and neither was it the way he spoke to you. He was all the same except for one thing; the look in his eyes. 

He had told you this before. He said that the eyes carry the most truthful and raw emotion that you can see on someone. The presence of love would be visible in someone’s eyes just as you would see stars on a clear, night sky. The lack, however, would mean that the eyes are blank and empty like the dark void in the expanse of the universe. You didn’t have to be poetic to be able to discern the way his eyes communicated his most solemn feelings in spite of trying to show otherwise. 

He must have been tired. Being caught up in your back-and-forths with your ex-husband, having to put up with your pretentious co-parenting situation, and the never ending need to keep an open mind about your situation with the same man who had ruined you. When your heart was in pieces, wasn’t he the one who tried to fix it? Wasn’t he the one who remained by your side during your darkest times? 

Whether that may be true, whether he truly ever loved you, you could recognize the stark difference of the Toji that genuinely cared for you to the Toji that was only actively trying to be there for you. What had changed him all of a sudden? 

“Toji, you drank a little too much.” A weary sigh escaped your lips, pulling all your might to drag your fiancé to lie comfortably in your shared bed later that night. At least, on the way to the hotel room, you had his bodyguards to thank for. They were there to haul him while he was in his drunken stupor, letting you lead the way, and dumping him carefully to his bed because there was no way you would be able to carry such a muscular man all by yourself. Now that you were alone with him, you decided to care for him the same way you used to do when Gojou was coming home drunk at night. Starting with his shoes that you took off, his shirt that you unbuttoned, his pants that you unzipped. “Come on, love. I’ll get you changed.”

The verdant hues of his eyes weren’t present. They were hiding behind his lids, refusing to meet your gaze. But if anything, he did open his mouth to speak, “...You. You wanna know a secret?” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts, you reminded yourself. Of the numerous times Satoru had gotten drunk during the early stages of your marriage, it was how you found out that deep inside him, he did care for you. That in spite of his ill-tempered exterior, he was a man deprived of parental love and support. What would be the case for Toji, then? 

“Yeah?” You waited for his answer, slipping his shirt off and revealing his toned body. 

The scar on his mouth moved when he displayed a mirthless smile. He was as drunk as an alcoholic would be. “I don’t… think… I can love you the same way I loved my first wife.” 

Your heart paused. In fact, every heartbeat became heavy. You knew how he felt, but didn’t expect him to say that out loud. “I-Is that so…?”

“Absolutely,” he mumbled, chuckling inaudibly. He was at a point where he was too far gone to realize the magnitude of the words he was saying to you. “Even if you try your best, she was everything I wanted in life and the only woman I could ever offer my heart to. She’s irreplaceable, and I don’t feel guilty about it... because I know you’re still into Satoru, too.”

“That’s…” You held your breath, holding back the sudden tears that formed in your eyes. “That’s not true.” 

Toji wasn’t done yet, however. He still went on with his drunken speech like he was finally pouring out raw, yet hurtful words out of the bottle. “Who knows? You would’ve had him touch you back in New York if you didn’t have me. You would’ve had him impregnate you, have his second child with you, and guess what? He still won’t be loyal to you.”

The pain in your heart increased tenfold. Everything went still and every minute felt like a stab to your soul. Should you say something? Should you get angry at him? No, no you couldn’t. Your chest was tightening and you knew it was smart not to let such negative emotions overpower you. His words were just a little difficult to grasp because Toji never in his life had been callous with his words to you. The tears that fell from your eyes were from the betrayal that you felt after hearing the cruel words he had uttered. And yet, you tried to hold on to that thin string of hope that Toji’s words didn’t come from a place of truth. 

“That’s enough, Toji. Go to sleep.” You pulled away, swallowing the bitter taste of weakness in your voice. 

He hummed, unaware of the pain he had put you through. “The more I look at you, the more I realize how much I actually don’t want to spend my whole life with you,” he admitted, with little to no regard for your current feelings, “I can’t fill this emptiness by being with another empty soul. And if there’s one thing I’m most grateful for, it’s that I let you run away that day before I fulfilled my vows with you—”

“Enough!” You shot up from bed and wiped the flood of tears on your eyes. “Enough! I’ve heard everything you wanted me to hear, okay?! Enough!” you raised your voice in despair, almost begging for him to stop tearing your heart asunder. “I get it! I fucking get it… so enough. Please, Toji.” 

Drunken words are sober thoughts.

A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.

Alcohol is a truth serum. 

The revelation of Toji’s true feelings that night was a reminder to you that he was just like any other man. That you should have never put him in such a high regard, thinking that he would be the prince charming that would save the poor damsel in distress. Why? What would he benefit from someone like you? You only deluded yourself into thinking that a man like him would take a single mother so seriously. You were only meant to be a placeholder for his dead wife after all. 

A placeholder, certainly. Not even deserving to have the title of a wife.

——

There was a huge contrast between being with you and Sachiro in New York vs being with Akemi and Sachiro in Osaka. The difference? There was no awkward air between Akemi and him. They were free to do things as they will—no restrictions, no certain do’s and don’ts. They were happy to have each other’s company, minus the guilt nor the unease of being by each other’s side. If anything, Satoru bitterly assumed that you were having the time of your life in Miami with Toji. You were so keen to see the man back there before parting ways with your ex-husband and son like you were simply discarding them to the side. 

If so be it, then fine. Satoru had all the right to have his son all to himself while you were gone. Besides, Akemi was just one call away and she was everything he could ever ask for. She cared for Sachiro as if she was his own mother and Satoru couldn’t be more grateful that he didn’t need to work on building a bond between her and his son. 

In fact, Akemi very much knew how to win Sachiro’s heart. As they took his adorable son to Universal Studios that day, she was nothing short of a caring mother. She had acted as a guardian to his son throughout the rides, letting the toddler enjoy his time at all the wonderful attractions that the theme park had to offer. Not once did his son cry too, so that only meant that they were doing a great job at taking care of him. 

Of course, it was a different story in the afternoon. After having spent all of his energy during the day, Sachiro had become tired and hungry by dinner time. But he wasn’t such a difficult kid to tend to, so Satoru was proud that his son still wasn’t throwing a tantrum even after a whole day of not having you around. 

“We’re gonna get Sachi fried chicken,” he enticed the pouting toddler, kissing his forehead while Akemi carried him in her arms. “Is that what you want?” 

Sachiro nodded and wrapped his little arms around his auntie’s neck. “Chicken, dada.”

Akemi smiled at the child’s gesture, tempting her to also place a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so cute and well-behaved, Sachi.” 

“—Satoru?” 

At the familiar voice, all three of them turned to the woman standing behind like a deer caught in the headlines. She was tall for a woman, slender, and had long, auburn hair, rosy cheeks, and ivory skin. Next to her was a tattooed man with salmon pink hair, a piercing on his ear, and a very defensive stance. Ah… How timely. 

Sera and Sukuna. 

Satoru wasn’t sure if he should openly greet them, after all, they weren’t acquaintances. And it was only recent that he got his memories back, triggered by Sera's presence at the expo. Other than that, he had no business with the two of them. Sukuna wasn’t a business partner of his, so him and Satoru had no formal connection towards each other. As for Sera, she might be his ex-girlfriend, but they didn’t exactly have the healthiest relationship to begin with, so…

“Of all the places,” she mumbled, almost gaping at the sight of him. Her eyes then trailed off to Akemi and Sachiro, with which her expressions shifted to guilt. Did she recognize his son? Did she remember the horrible attempt she did to harm his child during his ex-wife’s pregnancy? The memory was flooding Satoru’s brain like a tsunami. Yeah, in that case, Sera should definitely be filled with guilt. She tried to kill this harmless child. 

He cleared his throat, now becoming protective over his son at the presence of his ex. “We gotta go—”

“I guess it’s true,” Sera spoke again, this time redirecting her attention to Akemi. “The rumors, I mean. It’s all just surprising to me considering how obsessive Satoru was to Y/N.” She paused, seemingly wanting to comment at her ex-boyfriend’s current relationship in a mocking way. She kept her eyes on Akemi only, while Satoru was left wondering why Sera was acting hostile towards her. What was her deal now? She wasn't in the position to be acting all entitled to Gojou anymore, but here she was, talking to Akemi like she had met her before. “Did you know? He sacrificed everything for her. No one else made him beg on his knees the same way Y/N did.”

He couldn’t even tell how Akemi felt while Sera was clearly taunting her with her words, but she still managed to smile and excuse herself, keeping Sachiro away from an environment that should only be between adults. It was ridiculous, surely. What was Sera thinking trying to subject his son around that kind of hostility? Balling his fists, Satoru turned to Sukuna and spoke to him man-to-man. “You’d better keep your woman entertained so she’ll stop meddling into other people’s business.” 

Sukuna, however, found the situation equally humorous. “Don’t worry. We both are entertained.” 

Making a spectacle of Satoru’s personal life? No wonder they ended up together. They were both pieces of shit. 

Before Satoru turned on his heels to follow Akemi, Sera still had one last thing to say to him. This time, she was more calm and less malicious—her eyes following Akemi’s trail before looking back at him, “Satoru, if you have truly grown as a man, you won’t do this to Y/N.”

——

Sachiro was fast asleep when they returned to the Gojou clan's vacation home. 

Meanwhile, since the night was young for the two adults in that house, Akemi and Satoru shared a passionate session in the living room downstairs, letting her ride him as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. They tried to keep quiet, obviously, and all the lights were turned off, leaving only the moonlight illuminating their view. After a few more minutes into their lovemaking, they eventually met their climax and tried to catch each other’s breath, embracing her in his arms as she fell limp against him. 

“Satoru, I missed you a lot while you were gone.” 

“...Same.” 

Silence engulfed them for some time until she let out an exasperated sigh. It was clear in her facial expressions alone that she was pondering about the whole scene with Sera earlier. “That girl earlier, Sera, she—”

“Don’t mind her.” Gojou closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backrest. He knew he had to clear things up straightforwardly, leaving no room for any misunderstandings. “She just loves riling people up. It’s ironic she’s coming at Y/N’s defense now like she didn’t torment her back then. She’s not worth paying attention to.” 

“Okay.” Akemi pulled away, cupping his face and stroking his cheek. She also offered him an angelic smile while doing so. “But you don’t feel that way anymore, right? For Y/N?”

Satoru took a deep breath, but steadied the movements of his chest. He felt defensive all of a sudden. “No.” 

Her smile grew more relaxed as she pressed a light peck on his lips. “Right.” And for a while, they both stayed silent. His thoughts ran straight to you, while hers was quite on a different route. “Earlier when I put Sachiro to bed, he called me his mama.” 

His eyes widened. “Oh… he did?”

She answered with a nod. “I don’t know if he’s just half asleep calling for his real mommy, but… At that moment, it made me realize how much I want to have my own,” she hinted at him, wistfully staring at his blue eyes with her shining ones, “with you.”

——

You didn’t take the flight back to Tokyo. 

What you took was an immediate flight straight to Osaka where you knew your son and your ex-husband would be. You weren’t sure if it was due to the height of your emotions, but you surely let your impulse win the best of you this time. 

You just wanted to escape. It was for the first time in your life where you were dying to set yourself free from Toji’s presence, the very same person who you once likened to a buoy in an open sea. Now he was no longer that. He was far from that. He was an anchor pulling you down at the deepest part of the ocean. Needless to say, the pain was still fresh from your heart when you took the earliest flight back home after his drunken confession to you. 

Despite the many missed calls and texts and emails he had sent you, none of them were returned. None of them were seen, or read, or had been replied to. 

All you wanted to do was get to your son. Your son. Your only comfort from all the painful things that the world has thrown at you. If not for Sachiro, you would have long ended yourself. But because he was born in this world, because he relied on his mother for love and guidance, you had to be strong and you had to seek the comfort in your heart from him. 

They could all turn their backs on you, but never will your son do. 

And so, after a few back-and-forth emails with Miwa to confirm the address of Satoru’s residence in Osaka, you ignored the jetlag that was hitting your body and traveled straight to his place without a wink of decent sleep. Sachiro. Sachiro was all you ever thought of when you asked your driver to drop you off the park nearby the Gojou clan's residence as soon as you spotted your son's mop of white hair, him running across the small bridge and pointing towards a fish in the pond. Your son was happily calling all the fishes, gushing about them to Satoru who stood next to him. 

You didn’t even care at how you looked during that moment. You just wanted to get to your son and embrace him in your arms. He had been away from you for way too long and you had already grown pale and sick from the separation anxiety that engulfed your heart and mind. 

You had to have your son. You had to hold him.

“Sachi!” you called out, a smile present on your face as you made your desperate way towards the bridge. Your son looked at you the moment he had heard your voice, and was already skipping towards you with a bright smile on his face. “My baby!” 

Satoru’s face, on the other hand, turned pallid. His eyes were full of surprise, unable to believe that you were actually right in front of him. It was like he had seen a ghost. No, worse than a ghost. Why? Did he not expect you to come when he had let Miwa send the address to you? Were you not welcome to visit your own son? 

“Mamaaa!” Sachiro hugged you tightly, allowing you to attack his cute face with kisses all over.  

“Mommy missed you so much, my baby.” You could almost cry. As young as he was, he had no idea how much comfort he was bringing into your heart. Just to be able to see him, hold him, kiss him was enough for you to feel complete again. It was at your brokenness did you realize how much Sachiro could fix you whole.

“Y/N, I thought you…” Satoru paused, confusion seemed to be settling on his features as you looked up at him. “You’re supposed to be back by Monday.” 

For a moment, you were reminded of the reason you came home earlier than intended and it stung your heart to think about. “Change of plans.” 

A small scoff left his lips. “Don’t tell me you left Toji back there.”

I did, you wanted to say. Satoru had no single idea how true his words were, but that was none of his business and you had no plans of confiding in him about what had happened. You may be angry with Toji now, but you still respected him enough not to do terrible things behind his back. 

“I had to see my son,” you lied, although it wasn’t exactly one, and got up while holding your toddler’s hand. “Are you ready to go home with mommy, Sachi?” 

Reluctance clouded your son’s face, and he became more resolute at shaking his head the moment a woman’s voice called for him from afar. A woman, a very, painfully familiar woman came into view a few meters away from you. Standing there was your best friend, Akemi Hirai, looking at you with wide, mortified eyes as soon as she saw your presence. 

And in a snap, Sachiro ran to her. Your son ran straight to her, joyfully and excitedly as if she was his real mother. 

How many more heartbreaks do you have to go through? 

How many more tears do you have to hold back? 

“I…” Your hands were shaking. Your entire body was on the verge of breaking down. All this time, your son had been in this vacation home living like a happy little family with your ex-husband and best friend. 

Now, he even refused to go home with you. 

Gojou scanned through the look on your eyes as though he was reading your emotions, but you showed none of it. Not a single emotion could be seen on your face. Not an ounce of pain shown, despite seeing how your son immediately forgot about you and headed straight to another woman. How excited he was to spend more time with his dad and his new girlfriend. How, much to your discomfort, he refused to go back to Tokyo with you. You saw the future family Sachiro was about to have without you in the picture, and damn did it hit you like a truck. 

Why, why did everyone in your life choose others before you? 

“I’m sorry. I’ll bring him to your house Monday morning,” said your ex-husband in a soft, delicate voice, almost as if he was being careful with you. “We’ll take care of him.” 

You could simply nod, avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the vicinity except for Satoru. “Okay...” you struggled with words. Your entire body was shaking. The last thing you wanted was to sound like a selfish mother, but frankly, you were about to self-destruct. “Just keep him happy… that's all I ask.” 

Behind your mask of indifference, Satoru knew what right words had to be said. You needed reassurance, and that was exactly what he gave you. “I won’t ever take him away from you, Y/N. I promise.” 

You watched them walk away, leaving you alone with a look of sympathy that you didn’t need. Sympathy that you despised having received. This should serve as a wake up call to you that no one in this world would ever love you. That even your own child would, one day, abandon you. 

As tears fell from your eyes, you felt a certain pang on your chest that hurt worse than every other pain combined. “You know you’re not so good with promises, Satoru.” 

[re-lmayer]

i've found myself in a bad situation. the tl;dr is i have to move, but i can't afford to. i'm a disabled student and just do not have the funds required to rent a truck, hire movers, and cover deposits. so, i'm offering various services on my kofi, but if you don't need those you can also donate there or via paypal. my cashapp and venmo are both erinshelley91 if you'd like to donate on those platforms (i couldn't figure out how to link to those)

if you can't afford to commission me or to donate, reblogging this post and sharing my twitter thread is a free way to help me out and is so appreciated!

more context and stuff under the cut, i just don't want to make a long post on ppl's dashboards

my landlord has been cheating on his husband, and their relationship is rocky. he also has a massive spending addiction according to his husband. his spending addiction is making him not want to perform the actual duties of a landlord, because investment costs are cutting into his shopping spree funds

ex, he is illegally not fixing a leak in the shower of the upstairs tenants, and claims the costs are more than their rent. he told them to "figure it out, or get the fuck out." (verbatim.) he also told me it would be cheaper for him to not have tenants at all bc his utility bills would be smaller. he then left it to ME to inform another tenant to leave (then gaslit me and denied it in front of his husband when his husband questioned it)

in his words, we have 90 days to leave. i am disabled and a full time student and have been living on my fafsa returns, and the last job i had made one of my disabilities worse to the point i've had intensive physical therapy (several hours several times a week) and am likely going to have to undergo surgery

i'm also mi/nd, so even on a good day i'm not very well equipped to handle things, and the recent stress has also caused my therapist to see me several times a week in lieu of institutionalization

all that said, i'm not in a good spot physically or mentally, hence the best i can do right now is offer some of my skills on kofi

i'm currently working with my state's vocational rehab to try and find a suitable job until i can get my degree, but even then i simply would not be able to afford the costs of a sudden move in the timeframe i've got to work with

UPDATE MARCH 25, 2024: i want to invest in a scooter to do gig work like doordash. this will let me work at my own pace, and earn towards the move myself, then i'll have some more independence to continue doing that after as well

they require 50cc or under, which means i could get a scooter for under $1,000. i'd also need to cover fees to renew my license (i let it lapse since i haven't had a vehicle), get a helmet, and get insurance (roughly $100 annually)

i also made some amazon wishlists for folks who would like to help but prefer to know exactly where their money's going. i have one for housewarming stuff here, and one for necessities here

update as of april 5: my cat peed on my bed, and since it's a memory foam mattress it soaked all the way through and ruined it

update as of april 7: she did it again. this time there's blood in it

update as of april 14: i still haven't been able to take her to the vet, but i've been trying to do at home remedies

[honeqq]

how old is cliff anyways?? also can u please tell me more abt his brother i love ur au sm

Clifford is freshly 27

And Lesley is 33

Okay Stanislov or Lesley , is the first child of the family who a planned child (their parents doesn't expect another one). And yes his parent's doesn't expect Lesley to be anything because if he can't be successful in his own way he just need to take his father's place. So he a very bright kid and pretty obedient . He show have a talent in sport and martial art and have alot of friends too . But have a pretty good skill and knowledge in marketing and sales

He's very a family guy Alway be the middle of the argument between and Tryin to solve the family problem. Yeah he love his lil brother very much . When Cliff was born his parents put more attention to him because he a destined child and they expected him to be something while he don't. So he a pretty jealous but doesn't grow a grudge to his lil brother he just think he need to get his parents attention in his own way .

And he did , he worked hard at getting achievement and make their parents proud . He still be a golden child despite cliff also got a various achievement due to he's not a obedient child . he always talk back to his parents probably with how he growing up he feel entitled to do so. Lesley doesn't understand this behaviour from his lil brother tho

"you have a good life , wealth , and a parents who supported you and ready to provide for your better future why not just listen to them ?" He thought

(it's probably related with stanley doesn't get enough love in his previous life so when he get one in this he just feel he need to try his best)

-he very serious at working tho , he have a intimidating face at work but a huge sweetheart out of work. Also a classic stanley willing to cheat to get his business Always on top

-Freshly divorce with his EX wife (it's not a arranged marriage) despite look perfect in every way he just bad at maintain romantic reliatioship, well he not a bad father so her ex wife send his daughter to him once a month .

- he provided Clifford with anything (yeah this guys spoiled his brother too much) and send him to therapy once a week because he knew Clifford mental problem and doesn't want something happen to him again

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

xiii. and all the pieces fall right into place

— the one where he’s in love with you.

warnings: mykonos inaccuracies, mentions of anxiety, language, not proofread sorry! have mercy and ignore the mistakes, i feel like this is very romcomish and i actually quite like it! 3.5k words (+articles!)

currently playing: i'm in love with you by the 1975!

masterlist ✢ next

IT doesn't come as a surprise that actress y/n y/ln is surrounded by rumors and he-said-she-saids, her life has been a constant rollercoaster since March of the present year, when the news of her breakup to superstar Aidan Kim due to her cheating were made public by various outlets.

Since she decided to 'speak up' not two months ago, after letting the world drag her throught the mud, which in this writer's humble opinion, is the clearest sign of guilt. y/n has been on the road of digging her reputation out of the cemetery, not minding that what's dead should stay that way: Dead AND buried.

The public's opinion on the 'Queen of Romcoms' is progressively changing to her benefit, call it manipulation or excellent PR, word on the street is that y/n has landed a role that will mean the complete turnaround for her career in Greta Gerwig's version of 'Little Women' (as if we needed YET another version), alongside industry figures such as Timothée Chalamet, Meryl Streep and Saoirse Ronan.

One thing's for sure, this role will make or break her sorry excuse of a career. I hope you have taken acting lessons, y/n, because actual actors are about to give you a run for your money.

SEE ALSO:

→ Aidan Kim's 'In Your Pocket' M/V features ex girlfriend's belongings.

→ y/n y/ln and Charles Leclerc meet again in Paris.

→ Matilde Bassi takes on the role of Elphaba in her return to Broadway.

August 18th, Mykonos, Greece.

It's true what they say: everything is worse in your head.

It isn't like you to prove motivational Pinterest quotes right, but they are right. This trip looked wildly different in your head and not exactly in a positive way, though, to be fair after the shitshow you've lived through for half the year, your head is not the happiest place on Earth. Or the one that sees the glass half-full.

Anxiety was the only thing fueling you (besides a shaken espresso, again not the brightest idea) as you left Paris with Charles. Hyper-aware of his presence next or behind you as if he was this magnet you couldn't tear yourself apart from.

"What is it?" he'd asked a couple times when he felt your gaze on him as you waited by your gate for the flight to Athens. Charles was the textbook definition of confident and composed, hiding his expression behind a pair of Bvlgari shades. At the end of the day your destination had been his choice, which was fine by you. If you had to think any more than absolutely necessary about the trip and everything it involved, you would have backed out and ran back to New York with Matilde. And Charles knew this, so he took charge.

You only had so many 'it's nothing's in you before admitting that you were terrified. Not of him, of course, but the jumble in your brain and your heart didn't translate properly into words and it only added on to another fear: making a fool of yourself. After all this was, in its reason, absolutely terrifying. Confronting your feelings for Charles after months of denying you had them felt like some twisted exposure therapy. And the voices in your head that sometimes sounded a lot like Mati and others way too close to Victoria and Aidan, went from telling you that it is obvious Charles feels the same way to reminding you of how unlovable you truly are.

But it was all worse in your head.

Your brain has toned the fight or flight instinct per your insistence that it is supposed to be for actual life-threatening situations, not seeing Charles Leclerc in a bathing suit.

So you're enjoying the sun on your skin and the breeze in your hair. It's a beautiful place and you deserve to have a good time with someone you have grown to care about so much.

“Having fun?” You ask, letting your sunglasses slide past the bridge of your nose to look at Charles properly.

It’s yacht day, and although you don’t usually fare well in boats and were dreading the nausea even before you set foot in the thing, you’re doing pretty well.

“Of course I'm having fun, I'm with you.” Charles replies, smiling. He's lying next to you in a lounge chair, basking in the sun.

It's probably not a good idea for you to be tanning, since, if you get lucky you'll be playing a girl in a piece taking place in the United States Civil War. But if anything, you'll find a way to solve it.

"Are you sure that's going to look good?" you question, raising an eyebrow as Charles points the Polaroid in your direction. The quite strict 'no phones' policy was his idea, and you agreed in a heartbeat. You were willing to let the outside world outside. Which is what led you two to buy an extremely overpriced Polaroid camera in a tourist shop. "There's too much light."

Charles shrugs, snapping the picture while you still have your eyebrows raised. "We'll see."

You already have a collection between the pages of the book you carry with you in your suitcase, and it's only been one day since your holiday started. Charles and you take turns with the camera, but to be honest it's mostly him taking candids of you and showing them off excitedly.

"Gorgeous," he says after he's shaken the little square enough to reveal your image glaring at him. "Even if you are giving me a dirty look."

You laugh before rolling your eyes. His compliments come more often now, and he awaits your reaction with a slight anxiety that recedes when you smile. "My turn to have it."

Charles holds the camera close to his chest. "Not yet."

"You're so unfair,"

This makes Charles laugh again, but still doesn't give the camera up. "Fine. Let's take one together, soleil."

This would be your second picture together in the whole trip. The other one is a very bright depiction of your confused faces as you tested the camera for the first time. You wanted to throw it to the trash before Charles took it from you and kept it in the pocket of his trousers.

Charles makes the most space for you to sit down in the lounge chair as he possibly can, but there's a reason they're individual, so you're still halfway on top of him as you try to fit in the frame. His skin is warm, as it was expected from being in the sun, but your body reacts in the opposite way, exploding in goosebumps.

"Are you okay?" he asks, lowering the camera. His Adam's Apple bobs as he swallows, trying to keep his eyes on your face and not the bright pink top of your bikini.

"Perfect," you retort too quickly to be truthful, "I just— I'm in your personal bubble."

Charles chuckles. His free hand goes down from your shoulder to your bare waist in a second, pulling you closer to him and over-confident movement that shocks even Charles himself. "I like you being here."

You don't know how to react to the most obvious flirting you have been subjected to by Charles. You are not even sure you're capable of flirting back.

Your relationship with Aidan just happened. That's the only way you could describe it for the three years that you were with him. It happened because it was supposed to, you met in the set of a romcom, you kissed and kissed and kissed, and suddenly you didn't have to act as much in love as you had to just live it in front of the cameras. It made sense, at least for a while.

You couldn't pinpoint the exact moment in which you had fallen in love with Aidan Kim. You had just let your relationship from coworkers to fictional lovers to actual lovers run its course the way you thought was normal and expected. Maybe that was the first mistake in a long line you can't seem to stop dragging around. It's not like you didn't love him—in some moments more than others—but it didn't feel like you had fallen in love with him.

And with Charles, it couldn't be like that. It hadn't been like that from the start, but you still felt like you could fuck it up any second just by not being able to make a flirty retort without sounding like you were being strangled.

"You do?" you reply, letting your weight fall a little more on his legs. Maybe words can be left behind if you can get a grip on your actions. You don't want to be afraid, and you want to cross that threshold with him, finally.

He only holds your waist tighter, clearing his throat before readying the camera once more. Charles wants to kiss you, of course he wants to kiss you. He has probably wanted it since he saw you that day in his Driver's Room sneaking away with a granola bar and a bottle of water. But he also doesn't want to do it in the middle of a yacht, rushed and mostly hormone-driven.

"Ready, soleil?" Charles asks, his breath tickles your neck and you sink your fingers into his shoulder.

"Ready." you smile, enjoying the warmth of his body more than you do that of the sun.

─────────

You finish applying your peach colored lipstick three seconds before Charles knocks on the door to your room. Although you're exhausted from the sun, you're also relaxed and content, you can't wait to spend more time with Charles.

"Hi," you greet as you open the door. Charles is wearing khaki shorts and a half-unbuttoned white shirt, and the same Bvlgari sunglasses he's been carrying everywhere rest low on his chest. "I'm ready!"

Charles nods, holding his hand out for you. "You look beautiful, soleil."

"Thank you," you smile at him, taking his hand, although you wish you could have wiped it on your sundress before giving it to him. After the yacht, the whole aura shifted. Charles' gaze lingers on you more than usual, your fingers look for his, grazing each other until he finally intertwines them. You hope the sun melts you into one another.

Though maybe you should start by hoping you finally get the guts to kiss him.

It was your idea to get some drinks before dinner, and after a simple Google search you found a pretty place where you could chill while watching the sunset. Regrets came after that, when you found out you had to walk uphill to get to the place. Charles can't stop laughing as you whine and drag your already sore feet.

Once you are led to your seats—a pair of cushions on the floor of the terrace—you stop complaining. The view is magnificent and the expectation hanging in the air has you buzzing in the best way. Something is going to happen, and you know for the first time in months, it is going to be good.

Charles is talking about last year's Dutch Grand Prix, when your phone rings. While the idea of no phones allowed was lovely, it was a little unrealistic considering both your careers. But you have made it work with the "only urgent calls" feature and automatic response texts, so you know this is probably really important.

Matilde is staying at your house per your insistence that, even if you weren't there, she could make herself at home. But sometimes she still calls you to make sure that whatever she's doing is okay with you.

"Go ahead," Charles nods gently, thanking the waiter as he places your drinks in the tiny table between your cushions.

The unregistered number appears familiar as you stare at your screen, and you snap back to reality before missing the call. "Hello?"

"Hello," it's a female voice on the other side of the line, chirpy and clear. "Am I talking to Amy March?" she laughs, a hint of excitement in her voice.

Charles notices the way your demeanor changes and he's unsure of how to react in return. The hand holding your iPhone against your ear has begun to shake and your mouth is hanging slightly open, lower lip trembling.

You did it. You got the role.

You are coming back.

"y/n?" Charles ventures, anxiously.

"YES!" you speak to the phone again, unable to moderate your tone. "Yes, this is her!"

The casting director on the phone laughs again, although her ear is probably ringing. "Hello y/n, I just called to let you know about the role you got in..."

You try your best to pay attention to her as your eyes drift to Charles, your free palm pressed to your mouth, yet unable to hide your grin. The muscles in your face are still trembling with a mixture of excitement and the urge to cry. You thought happy tears would never come back to you.

Still unsure of what's happening, Charles looks at the people around you. Some have started to stare, others have already made up their minds about you being some crazy, noisy tourists and aren't interested in that. At least he's starting to feel relieved that you're smiling, although there are tears in the corner of your eyes.

You agree to a meeting next week and thank her around a million times before hanging up. It's official.

Charles remains silent, anxiously waiting for you to share the news.

"I got it!" you screech, and tears roll down your cheeks. The salt in them touches your lips, but you relish them. You are happy, ecstatic. "I got the role, Charlie!"

An audible sigh escapes from Charles' lips and before he knows it, you're throwing your arms around him. Not even giving him time to speak.

You're still crying as he envelops you in a hug that leaves you breathless. His hand runs down the back of your head and pulls you closer by your lower back.

"I knew you could do it," he whispers softly, before his lips brush against your temple. "Congratulations my sun."

The possessive has your stomach filling with butterflies and you hug Charles even tighter. You are grateful for him, because he did believe in you, and he has stuck to your side no matter how crazy your environment gets. He cares about you, genuinely and deeply.

Later you will have a recollection of moments that are tinted pink in your mind. Reminding you of all the times where you realized you were in love with Charles. But this one right here is the one where you realize you are so in love with the man holding you in his arms you can hardly breathe.

"Thank you, Charlie," you hiccup slightly, overwhelmed with every single emotion in your body. "Thank you."

Charles kisses your cheek gently, holding your face with both hands. "I'm really proud of you."

You smile widely as he runs a thumb across your cheek to wipe your tears. "Thanks."

You return to your own cushion hurriedly, too happy to feel embarrassed about the show you just put up for the rest of the tourists.

Now there's just one thing left for this to be perfect.

─────────

You're walking hand in hand back to the hotel, stopping with any chance you get. Attempting to make the night longer before you have to part ways at the door of your respective hotel rooms and spend yet another night tossing and turning, haunted by what could be or what could have been between the two of you.

But time is running out as you reach your floor and neither has given that step that will throw you both off the edge. In a good way, though.

"So, goodnight?" Charles rubs the back of his head anxiously, letting go of your hand as you rummage your beach bag for the key to your room.

You look up at him, the keycard already between your index and middle finger. "Goodnight, Charlie."

It's all awkwardness as Charles reaches for your hand again and gives it a gentle kiss. His stubble feels raspy against the back of your hand. You wrap your arms around him again letting your hand touch the back of his neck. Neither of you want to actually say goodnight.

"See you tomorrow," you mutter, aware that you've already hugged him more than what's socially acceptable.

Charles nods, squeezing your hand one last time before letting you disappear inside your room.

You want to scream into your pillow and hit yourself in the head. But Charles would probably be able to hear the banging against the wall and it would mortify you. You make yourself busy for a few minutes by removing your makeup and changing your clothes, before you finally listen to the impulse nagging your brain.

Go and find Charles.

You open the door to your room before your anxiety makes you hesitate and you find Charles closing the door to his.

"Oh," you say, slowly.

"Do you want to sit with me on the balcony?" Charles rushes to say, fighting against his anxiety much like you.

Both your rooms are the exact same, so when he points to his room, you move out of the door to yours instead.

"Yes."

Charles enters your room slowly, as if it's unknown territory, although it mirrors his. Maybe a little messier since you just threw your clothes all over the place as you ranted to yourself about how stupid and childish you were being just ten minutes ago.

"Sorry for the mess," you cringe, throwing the bottom of your bikini to one side with your left foot. You will probably be looking for that thing like crazy tomorrow, but you're trying to focus on the now.

"It's okay," Charles assures, smiling as he crosses the room to the glass door that leads to the balcony. Two lounge chairs and a simple table await.

You follow after him once you've grabbed some tiny bottles from the mini bar, two Red Labels and one Hennessy. Offering one to Charles before sitting in the chair next to him. Liquid courage, if anything.

Charles uncaps his Red Label and jiggles it gently towards you. "Toast?"

"To what?" you question, placing the tiny cap on the table. You've toasted to your new role several times already, and honestly it doesn't get old, but you want Charles to say whatever is on his mind.

"To us," Charles smiles, his eyes never leaving you. "For being here, together."

You clink the tiny bottle against his before downing half of the whisky in one gulp.

Both stay silent for a few minutes, listening to the waves crash against the shore and the sounds of people getting back to their rooms on the other side.

"I can feel you looking at me," you hum, still staring out the balcony and not back at Charles. "Charles?"

"That's because I'm looking at you," he responds nonchalantly. "Because you're beautiful."

You finally look at him, shaking your head lightly. "Thank you."

"And I'm in love with you, y/n," he's almost breathless by the time he says your name, but doesn't stop to take a sharp breath. He doesn't even hesitate as he changes his position in the lounge chair, his whole body facing you. "I am so in love with you, I don't understand how the fuck is my heart able to keep beating."

It's like the world has paused for Charles to continue with his confession in peace. All of Mykonos is holding its breath, even the sea.

"I know you already know," he adds as you open your mouth. "But I have to tell you because I cannot keep swallowing the words every time you look at me like that. I'm in love with you, and you don't have to say it back."

You're moving in slow motion as you leave your chair, you can feel your hands shaking but fight against the motion of pinching your thigh or pulling on the string of your shorts. You're nervous, but you're not about to back down. Charles holds his breath when you stand in front of him, but stands up too.

"I'm in love with you too," you breathe, placing a hand on his chest. His heart is going so fast, it's like the words he spoke not a minute ago float in the air. "I really am in love with you, Charles."

Charles is mildly afraid of touching you, as if by doing so you would disappear. But the urgency to finally kiss you is bigger than his fear, and he wants to hold you and blend your bodies together and so, so many things all at once.

His hands grip your face firmly, but not with enough strength to hurt you and you close your eyes, melting into the way his lips touch yours. Softly, tentatively at first. As if testing the pieces of a puzzle you're not quite certain they fit together. But you respond immediately, moving your mouth against his and taking your hand to his jaw.

And it's like overflowing gates have finally opened.

Charles stumbles back to the low chair, pulling you with him swiftly yet with care. His hands have traveled down to your hips and he helps you settle on his lap, straddling him. He has wished for this moment so many times, has fantasized about it on countless occasions, and none of those daydreams compare to the way your lips feel against his. The way your hands move to his hair and how you grip his shoulders to maintain balance.

And it's only when you really need to breathe again that you break the kiss. Your chests rise and fall frantically, matching your heartbeats. You can't wait to kiss him again. You never want to stop kissing him.

He's staring at you, and he has never looked more beautiful than right now with his disheveled hair and reddened lips. And his eyes are so bright when he looks at you, your heart races even more.

So you kiss him again, pressing your chest tighter against him as he holds the back of your head and your lower back. His tongue tastes like whisky and mint as he runs it down your lower lip, and you let him deepen the kiss as much as he wants to. Both of you have wanted this for months, and it's enough and nothing at all, at the same time.

"I'm yours, y/n," Charles says between kisses, breathless and with a tinge of desperation. "Je suis à toi, mon soleil."

And you kiss him again, and again, and again. Because you're his too. You have been his for so long.

─── team principal radio: ❝in the wise words of taylor swift: it's been a long time coming! thank you so much for reading I hope you enjoyed this chapter because i LOVED writing it. also, thank you so much for being so patient and waiting for an update! i'm glad you're still here❤️❞

✰ paddock club members: @sassyheroneckgiant @flowerchild-96 @fangirlika @shegotboreddsoo @roseamongthorns13 @cissyp @chimchimjiminie16 @saturnsrinqs @roni-midnights @gayyvodka6 @studioreader @jamie-selwyn @lu-morningstar @ferraribabe @reidsworld @feelslikestrawberries @celestialams @kosmosgalore @missenclod @buendiabebeta @karmabyfernando @mycenterfold @aces-tattooartist @burningrred @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @rainybabe25 @ru-kru @lazybot @teenagedreams-cl @cool-ultra-nerd @kuskumu @formulakay3 @bisexual-desi @somanyfandomsbruh @icarus-nex @aethernals @xoxoloverb @xjval @strolleclercs @headinthecloudssblog @incoherenciass @bookophiliac @torrie421 @nooshytushie @azxulaa @steephanie07 @anonymous8462 @tbsloneely @pukklv @bn7921 @be-your-coffee-pot @fdl305 @lovely-blackinnon @landonorizzz @ruleroftheuniverse @ivegotparticulartaste

want to join the paddock club? click here!

if you are not tagged please check your blog settings because tumblr isn't letting me tag you

[scrollypoly]

.

Nothing is more fucking appalling and nauseating than finding out that the people that were spreading shit about me being "abusive and toxic" to someone that was literally toxic and unhealthy to me were fucking minors. When that person was also older than me. What the fuck was going on there

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for getting upset at my ex for being PDA with his boyfriend?

🌱🚌🍰<- To find later

Ages aren't super relevant here but everyone is in their mid-late 20s. About a year ago, my fiance of about 8 and a half years, Jake, broke up with me. It wasn't the smoothest breakup, I didn't take it well at the time, but I've since had a lot of time to think about it and I do understand (and agree with some of) his reasons for it. We're still on friendly terms and recently started casually chatting again 2 months ago after he said he needed a break for a while. I admit I do still love him and we had said at the time that we would want to get back together someday but that it would be a long time before we could consider that again and I wouldn't be upset with him if he changes his mind. There are a number of reasons why things weren't going well, I know I have a lot of body image issues and that had a lot of impact on our sex life, and there was also just a lot of baggage from old issues that built up over the course of the relationship. I've since been in therapy which I know was long overdue and working on a lot of the issues that contributed. Ultimately though, what ended up being the breaking point was issues we were having with polyamory.

I'm going to try and keep things as succinct as possible because the including all the details would make it way too long, but here's basically what happened: Jake and I agreed to be open about sleeping with other people, as long as we kept things out of our shared space. We weren't sure about dating others yet, but we said we'd talk about it if it came up. I know Jake felt jealous about me being with others while I worked on our own intimacy issues, but he told me that he knew that was unhealthy especially if we wanted to eventually be poly. A few months in, I heard from one of our friends, Emily, that a new friend of ours, Daniel, thought Jake was hot and might have a crush on him. I was shocked that Emily would tell me that because she knew Jake and I were together, and I told Jake to discuss what to do about it. He was kind of upset that I told him because he said he would've wanted to hear that from Daniel directly, I argued it was relevant but apologized anyway and dropped it. Over the next few months, Jake and Daniel started texting a lot and Jake started developing feelings for him. When Daniel confessed during a movie night, Jake said he felt the same but that he'd have to talk to me about it first. Jake told me he wanted to go for it, which was surprising because he had said literally the day before that he wasn't sure, but we decided to try poly with some ground rules. Ultimately the issue came down to the "shared space" rule we were already following. I considered making out as sexual, but Jake disagreed and told me that was too controlling if we were allowed to have dates at the apartment. This led to a fight, and when I went to the other room to calm down, I realized that if I couldn't handle seeing Jake with someone else so close to me, I couldn't do poly, so I went back out to tell him. He asked why we couldn't keep talking about it, I said I couldn't change how I felt, and he got upset that I wasn't willing to have a conversation about it now that he had feelings for someone else, so I asked him what he'd want to talk about and he said not to bother because it was obvious I had already made up my mind. The next day he told me we should take a break, and we broke up a week later. I want to make it very clear that I don't blame Daniel for any of this and I don't think anyone was "cheating". As far as I'm aware, Jake and Daniel started dating about 4-5 months after we broke up. I'm not going to lie and say that seeing Jake so happy with someone else doesn't hurt, but I know that's immature of me and I'm working on getting over it.

About a week ago, Jake invited me to go to a bar with a bunch of our old friends. It was a lot of fun and I had really missed hanging with everyone in a group. At some point during the night though, I noticed Daniel being kind of handsy with Jake. I brushed it off because everyone was drunk, but as time went on it became less and less subtle, and I started getting a little uncomfortable. I noticed that one of our more reserved friends, Jason, was also looking a bit flustered. At one point Daniel pulled Jake away from the table to go off somewhere, and everyone just kind of laughed awkwardly before continuing conversation. I know that Jake didn't like PDA before but it's possible that changed, idk.

At the end of the night when people were saying goodbyes and starting to head home, I pulled Jake aside to thank him for inviting me and saying it was a lot of fun and great to see everyone again, but that I noticed people were kind of uncomfortable with Daniel's PDA and suggested that he tone it down a little in the future, especially around Jason. Jake didn't say anything at the time but his smile dropped a little bit and he said he'd talk to Daniel about it.

The next day, I woke up to messages from both Jake and Jason telling me I was out of line and that nobody but me had any issues with their PDA. I even mentioned Jason looking uncomfortable and he said that it was because he had had a crush on Jake for a while now, but that it would be unreasonable for him to ask Jake and Daniel to change their behavior around their friends (which I completely disagree with when it comes to PDA and being inappropriate in public). Jake told me that if I was going to bring our breakup back into the group dynamic it would be better if I didn't come in the future. I asked a few of our other friends and one said that it could be too much sometimes but only when everyone was really drunk, one said that if it did go too far they'd say something, but that it never had, and the last one told me that I was being rude and was clearly just not over Jake.

I don't think I'm an asshole for being uncomfortable with PDA and even if nobody else agrees with me (and at least a couple do), I didn't go about telling them in a rude way at all, but most of the group is saying I was overstepping and to get over myself. AITA here?

[lolitaa-17]

This is a is a drabble honestly.

readerxgetosuguru , readerxgojosatoru

Not proofread!

You sat on your bed as you braided Suguru’s hair. It was silent except for the low volume coming out of Shoko’s phone as she scrolled through social media.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it y/n.” Suguru says breaking the silence.

“He slept with another women.” Shoko implied.

He did. In fact, he even got her pregnant. He obviously didn’t hesitate to leave you after finding out that the women he had slept with was pregnant.

‘It’s healthier for me to stay with her during this pregnancy, she needs me right now.’

“It’s okay.” You sighed while finishing up Suguru’s braid.

Was it though?

“Y/n…yes, I fucked up. But I can’t just leave her!”

“So what you’re just gonna leave me! Leave what all we’ve gone through together Satoru?”

“She doesn’t deserve to care for this…no..our baby alone, she needs me.”

You knew Satoru always dreamed of having a kid. Constantly asking if you were ready, But you were beyond terrified. And now here you are crying for this relationship not to end.

It’s pathetic, he bluntly cheated on you and gets another women pregnant but you don’t have the courage to let him go.

“But he even got her pregnant.” Shoko added as she tossed her phone on the side of the bed and sat closer to you and Suguru.

“He what?” Suguru tensed up, he had not a clue.

“You guys should get going, I have an appointment early in the morning tomorrow.” Your sad smile that painted your face as you were kindly asking your friends to leave.

“Yeah, we’ll see you tomorrow?” Shoko asked.

“Maybe.” You answered before waving them off.

No, you didn’t want there to be a tomorrow. You just wanted it all gone. Having to see your ex happily with a women he hadn’t even known for that long.

‘Was I ever even special to him?’

-

“How do you feel?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed.

“Y/n, I’m gonna need you to answer these questions. I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours.”

You’ve always hated the thought of therapy. Talking to a stranger who don’t actually want to know you, only forcing them to because it’s their job. But who else could you possibly open up to.

“Im sorry…I can’t.” You faintly breath out before quickly walking out the room.

Immediately crashing into someone.

“I’m sor-“ you look up to see Suguru.

-

“The baby’s name is gonna be Hachi!” Satoru looked at his loving fiancé as she was shooting out names for the baby girl that was due in a couple of weeks.

“Whatever you want baby.” He kissed her hand softly.

Oh…how his heart would always sit with guilt once in a while as his thoughts remind him of how he left you. He left you so sudden and so cruelly. Not even a simple sorry was ever muttered.

He always hopes he would see you somewhere so he could at least get a chance how he was sorry. How you never deserved the amount of damage he had done to you. How you only mean well.

-

“What are you doing here?” Suguru asked.

“No reason…why are you here?” You reply.

That’s when Suguru had realized that you actually weren’t okay. That’s also when you found out that he wasn’t okay either.

You both struggled deeply with depression. Both for different reasons obviously.

“Talk to me y/n, please.” He held your hands begging for you to open up to him.

And you did.

And so did he.

You both helped each other out, it did get better. You were back to your old ways. Partially.

-

You and Suguru had always been hanging out for months now. Hell, you two even started dating.

He held your hand as you two walked in each isle shopping for some groceries. “Let’s try this.” You pointed out some weird cereal that was new.

“I love you, but that looks gross.” Suguru laughed grabbing a cereal that you two were already familiar with.

“Party pooper.” You push the cart as Suguru had his arm around your waist.

-

“What do you mean it’s not mine?” Satoru clenched his jaw as his fiancé was crying.

“I lied…I needed someone to help me with the pregnancy Satoru, I was scared!” She cried out.

His heart hurt. So bad. He felt so dumb and pathetic.

The rain hitting his body as he ran to your apartment. He was drenched but he didn’t care. All he cared about was seeing you.

Knock

Knock

Knock

“Satoru…” you swore you felt the tears in your eyes getting ready to gather as you saw your ex standing right in front of you.

“Y/n please…listen.” He cried out.

“What’s wrong?” You asked genuinely concerned at his state right now.

“I’m sorry…I’m so fucking sorry.”

That look, the look of pity. He really felt small now. Even worse when he saw Suguru stand tall behind you.

“What’s going on?” He asked.

“Y/n please, it wasn’t my baby. I miss you.”

You scoff, “so you want me back just because you realized that the damn baby didn’t even belong to you! Satoru you put me through damn hell…so you must not be thinking straight if you think I’m gonna take you back.”

He just remained quiet, because he knew she was right.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for every damage I have done to you. I’m sorry y/n.”

-

He cries in his bed, sometimes drinks the pain away. But this time he just stared at the ceiling.

‘I’m Pregnant.’

Those words whirring in his head. The day he heard you talking to Shoko at some local cafe. The look of excitement took over your face as Suguru wrapped his arm around you.

He would run into you at a couple places here and there. How your tummy grew big every time he would run into you. Soon he would see you with a stroller as Suguru had his arms wrapped around you.

It hurt. But it’s okay, because it’s what he deserves.

[idontknowreallywhy]

FishTank Week Day 1 for prompt “Wingman”

This started silly and got sillier. I make no apology because I am horribly sleep deprived and writing anything at all under (self-imposed) prompt pressure is usually impossible so even nonsense is better than nothing 😂

Featuring my headcanon that Virg is not in the same drinking league as the military bros…

And also a terrible cheesy earworm.

💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛💚💛

Everybody’s lookin’ for that SOOOOMEEEETHIIIIIING…

Virgil’s forehead sank onto the bar and squelched slightly. One of the saturated green-and-yellow-striped spill mats (the very ones his little brother had insisted were A SIGN that this was the place they should spend their rare evening off) oozed stale beer into his eyebrows.

He’d been adamant, despite the fact the place’s kitchen was closed for renovation and was almost empty as a result..

In retrospect three handfuls of peanuts plus the many lime wedges from the many beers he had consumed were insufficient stomach lining for a night out with an ex-WASP. He wasn’t even a massive fan of pale lager, particularly not by the bucketload. But, again, Gordo had been militant about his theme and had been so adorably excited about the “little green ship in a big yellow glass! It’s us in opposite-se-sez-sies!”

Yeah that should probably have been their cue to go home.

Well to the hotel.

Which was sort of home. Temporary home? One-night home? Where was the hotel anyway? Had they booked one? He frowned and there was another distracting squelch.

Virgil sat himself up and tried to subtly wring out his eyebrows.

Ooof, may have poked himself in the eye a little there… he blinked rapidly.

The barmaid gave him a look and Virgil did his best effort at a charming grin straight out of the Scott Tracy handbook.

She did not appear charmed.

Damnit. Stupid dimples. Dimples was cheating.

The barmaid walked past and unsubtly removed the glass containing the last third of his 13th pint. 14th? What even was a pint anyway? Imperial measures made zero sense.

Wait! He waved frantically and she returned with a wary expression. Virgil inserted his index and middle finger into the glass and extracted the lime wedge before giving her a wonky thumbs up and dropping it on the bar.

He shrugged and ate it anyway. Interestingly they weren’t even sour anymore.

When you’ve found that special thiiiiiiing…

His brother had covered at least three keys in one line there.

Maybe Virgil should have saved the limes to cram into his ear canals?

He rested his elbow on the bar and propped his chin up on his first and tried to give his brother a Look that meant “stop torturing my ears and let’s go back… to wherever.”

Gordon winked at him theatrically and refused to understand the Look.

Realistically Virgil was sleeping here anyway.

Because his tiny little baby brother who frankly should still be sleeping in a cot and wearing diapers could apparently drink like a fish as well as swim like one and he was in no way done yet. And Virgil had to keep up because he was bigger and it was a matter of pride and he had to keep an eye on the fish. Because the fish was very precious.

A precious fishy idiot who Virgil couldn’t help but love.

A fishy idiot that was now doing his utmost to drive the few remaining customers from the bar by monopolising the karaoke machine.

A simple line can make you laaaaaaugh or cry

Ouch.

The annoying thing was that Gordon could sing. Properly. Well, actually. Virgil enjoyed listening on the rare occasion Gordon didn’t realise he was being overheard.

But he refused to do it when he was in public. Instead they got… this.

Virgil had to acknowledge it took some skill to deliberately remain that out of tune.

At least he’d moved on from the rapping. Virgil’s eye twitched. Some therapy would be required to recover from that.

Although the ballads were not much better - the combo of the twinkly synth string backing and a screeching squid was a match made in hades.

The music swelled and Gordon caught his eye, stood up from the stool he’d perched on, boy band style, and pointed a slightly wobbly finger at his big brother. Ah ha! He wasn’t invincible after all! He was beginning to succumb.

Virgil was jolted back into the present with the realisation Gordon had suddenly forgotten to sing out of tune:

You'll find it in the deepest friendship

The kind you cherish all your life

And when you know how much that means

You've found that special thing

You're flying without wiiiiings.

Virgil sniffed and cursed his drunken brain for being cheesy. Gordon grinned at him then turned to lead a group of middle aged ladies in a passionate and atonal rendition of the middle eight.

He was impossible. Irascible.

Completely idiotic half the time.

Not quite invincible enough for Virgil’s liking.

As he slid slowly off the barstool, Virgil smiled sappily and proudly told the barmaid that Gordy was HIS special thing.

[leifygreeens]

I always get so sad when I think about the bachelors and bachelorttes not being able to achieve their dreams :( so how do you think the game would be different if they had? like before they meet the farmer? (i love your writing by the way,,,)

While I was thinking about this, the main question in my head was “Why would any of them still be in Pelican Town if they achieved their dreams?” Sooo I had to put them through some bullshit to get them all in one place lmao. Thank you for enjoying my writing, it means... way more than any of you probably realize. Anyway, this was fun to think about, and I hope you have fun reading it! <3

Warnings: Mentions of parental death, abuse, infidelity, dysfunctional familial relationships, and reference to Leah’s shitty ex (FUCK YOU, KEL!)

Sam was the lead singer of his own band, but is now struggling to find his new normal after the members decided to go their separate ways. It certainly doesn’t help that they ended on negative terms, and their fanbase has become fractured due to the controversy surrounding the break-up. Sam has come back to Pelican Town to spend time with his family and figure out which direction he wants to take his career, but his band-mates said ill-intended things about him before they broke up, and he’s struggling to make amends with his perception of himself. He tries to write new songs, but he isn’t liking anything he’s come up with, and it’s reflecting poorly on his self-esteem. He wonders if his fans will still be there waiting once he’s ready to release his solo-music, and is paralyzed with fear about what will happen to him and his career if they aren’t.

Sebastian is a professional coder. He saved up enough money to move away as soon as he turned eighteen, and has only visited for holidays since. He was previously engaged while living in the city, but after his fiancé cheated on him with a coworker, he returned to Pelican Town to pick up the pieces of his heart. During his time away he managed to check himself into therapy, so he’s well-equipped to handle conflicts with his family, and his relationship with his mother and sister have improved dramatically since, which is really nice. He is trying his best to pursue a healthier relationship with Demetrius, but the man really doesn’t make it easy. Robin also added an extension to the house, so his room is on the ground floor and has a window now. He discovers with minimal surprise that he likes the rain in Pelican Town more than he ever did in the city. It’s nice to see the frogs again.

Alex is a professional gridball player. His mother passed away before she could see him achieve his dreams, but his father has contacted him many times. Alex knows his father doesn’t actually want a relationship with him, though, because the only times he’s contacted him is to ask for money. Alex blocks his dad’s number after catching sight of him on the news, trying to drag Alex's name through the mud, but eventually moves away when his dad breaks into his apartment and wrecks the place. He settles back into his bedroom at Evelyn and George’s house, and tries not to feel too drained by the legal proceedings. It’s pretty relaxing though, going back home during his off-season. Not to mention he really missed the summers in Pelican Town.

Elliott is a reputable author. He’s written a trilogy or two, a smattering of stand-alone novels, and even has a few broadway credits. But after years of constantly writing, he’s burnt out and tired, and needs a break, so he moves out of his stuffy apartment in the city and into the cabin on the beach. He commissions Robin for expansions and repairs, and it’s turned into quite a nice place, if he should be so bold to say so. He talks to Willy a lot, and after hearing the stories the fisherman has collected over the years, he kind of wants to write a book about pirates or some other kind of adventurer, but nothing is coming to mind. He’s got an excess of inspiration and drive, but the moment his pen hits the paper, his mind goes blank. It’s incredibly irritating.

Shane is one of the most notable film directors of the last decade, and he’s got quite a number of credits under his belt. His IMDb page is massive, and while he doesn’t get recognized on the street very often, anyone who knows anything about film will know his name. He moved to Pelican Town with Jas after the death of her parents. Riddled with grief, he had the presence of mind to recognize some bad habits were developing, and he couldn’t really handle the pressure of celebrity life anymore. He drinks occasionally, but he doesn’t consider himself an alcoholic. He only drinks a few times a week—and compared to his colleagues in the city—that’s nothing.

Harvey is an experienced pilot. He initially wanted to join the Ferngill Republic Air Force, but after many discussions with his parents, he decided to pursue an ATP certification and become an airline pilot instead. However, due to the recent trauma of a severe crash, Harvey is taking a break from flying. He’s become intensely afraid of heights, and the thought of getting in a plane makes him physically sick to his stomach. He’s been working on it, but it’s already been a year, and he’s not any closer to being back in the pilot’s chair. What’s wrong with him?

Maru went to university to pursue a career in STEM, but was quickly disillusioned and decided it wasn’t for her, so she decided to switch gears and abandon her dream school. Robin understood after a short explanation and told her to come back home, but Maru’s relationship with her father has become strained since, and even though they regularly experiment in the lab together, it causes some unnecessary drama in the household. Maru tries not to let it get to her too much, but it does. More positively though, her relationship with Sebastian has improved since they both came home, and they can actually hold a conversation without getting irritated at each other. She likes hanging out with her brother, but wishes that they could've gotten along like this as kids, too. They have a lot of years to catch up on!

Penny was a stay-at-home-mom up until a few months ago, when her partner suddenly decided domestic life wasn’t for them, and yanked the rug out from under her. With nowhere to go and no employment, she trudged back to Pelican Town with her tail between her legs and a toddler on her hip, to move back in with her mother. She teaches Vincent and Jas regularly, and works as a private tutor for a few clients in the town over. Pam chose to take on the majority of childcare for her grandchild, but she’s excelling at it and hasn’t stepped foot in the saloon in a long time. It should be a great thing, but Penny doesn’t know why she’s so bothered by it.

Abigail is an active member of the adventurer’s guild, a highly skilled swordswoman, and she will occasionally dabble with the magical forces of Stardew Valley under the careful guidance of her mentor, Rasmodius. Yes, she knows. No, she doesn’t mention it, and neither does he. She doesn’t live with her parents anymore. When she was looking to move out, she asked to buy the deed to the old farm, but was quickly shot down by Lewis, and decided instead to claim the decrepit cabin south of Rasmodius’ tower. Robin helped her fix it up, and after a few months, it was in good enough repair to move in permanently. She spends most of her days down in the mines, clearing the monsters on the lower floors. She’s never gone past level 20, if only to save herself from her mother’s tearful begging, but Pierre has given up. They don’t speak much.

Haley is a prolific photographer. Her portfolio is hefty, some photos dating back from when she was in high school, but the most recent picture is from three months ago, and she hasn’t picked up her camera since. She doesn’t know why, but nothing looks interesting enough to shoot anymore. The world looks flat and dull, but maybe that’s just the city. When her parents ask her and her sister to watch their house in Pelican Town while they galavant through the archipelago on some “soul-searching-journey,” she accepts without preamble. Maybe she just needs a change of scenery to get her inspiration back. Maybe she’ll find her muse?

Leah is a revered artist, and many of her pieces are in museums and art galleries. She tries to live in the city, but quickly realizes that she hates it, and after a few misses, she moves to Pelican Town. The lush flora and fauna kick her inspiration into overdrive, and with the amount of foraged greens she’s been eating since moving into the cabin next to Marnie’s, she doesn’t think she’s ever felt so good. Unfortunately her ex Kel is determined to sniff her out, and that puts a damper on her shiny new life in Pelican Town. She wishes it was because they actually loved her, but she knows it’s only because they miss the luxurious life Leah’s job afforded them. She tries not to think too hard about that, though.

Emily is a fashion designer! She’s had plenty of shows during different fashion weeks and other events, and many name-brands have collaborated with her. She does do stylist work on the side, and many of her clients are a-list celebrities or high profile professionals. She prefers the countryside, though, so when her parents offered her and her sister their place in Pelican Town, she jumped at the opportunity! Only thing is, it’s been years since her and Haley have occupied the same space, and every resident in town has a dark cloud of thick negative energy hovering over their heads. She’s overwhelmed with guilt, knowing she can’t do anything to help.

[dropitlikeapeong]

Waiting for You: Chapter 4- It's really over, isn't it?

Genre: EVEN MORE angst (atp we should be used to it)

CW: Mentions of cheating. More arguing. More swearing. More crying. Seeun is an asshole (Im sorry to my serangdoongies). Y/n is mad as hell for a minute (AS THEY SHOULD BE). Implied sexual relations (nothing explicit, literally the words "spent a night together") Seeun hurts Y/n (gripping your wrist tightly). Let me know if there's more that I'm leaving out.

A/n: FINALLY AN UPDATE WE ALL CHEERED! I'd like to apologize again for keeping you all waiting for this long but yay chapter 4 is finally here, and chapter 5 is not too far behind.

I apologize in advance, to all my Seeun stans, this one's gonna hurt.

As always, likes, reblogs and comments are appreciated. Enjoy!

From coming in late to work, upsetting your co-workers and friends, catching a nasty and uncalled for attitude from your ex, accidentally landing one of the boys in the hospital causing him to miss an important schedule, finding out said ex has likely been playing you throughout your whole relationship with another celebrity, also finding out there might be a little more that story since your boss seems to know a lot more than he's letting on and being forced to go to therapy or else you'd lose your job and get sued, safe to say today had been exhausting.

You felt physically and emotionally drained and really just needed to sleep off the events of today. Fortunately you don't have work tomorrow, or any day after that unless you see that stupid therapist.

You definitely felt horrible about what happened with Hunter but therapy? Seriously? But if that's what is needed for you to keep your job, so be it. You wonder if you'd be allowed to visit him, to maybe apologize in person. Hunter always goes on about how you're his favorite out of all their staff, He'd understand you didn't mean for that to happen right?

Your thoughts are interrupted by the elevator beeping, letting you know you've reached your floor. The doors open and you let out an irritated sigh at the unexpected guest standing at your doorstep.

Technically, it isn't unexpected, you were warned that someone would be picking up your ex's things, although he never mentioned who would be doing the pick up. Considering all of the people he could've called, this was just ridiculous.

"Why are you here?"

Seeun jumps a little at your voice turning to face you.

"Don't scare me like that! Gosh, you almost gave me a heart attack."

You continue staring at him blankly while he avoids your eyes, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"Why are you here?" You ask him again.

"You sound like a tape recorder. 'Why are you here' haha, I'm sightseeing, obviously." His laugh is uncomfortable and awkward.

"This is a really nice apartment complex." He remarks, looking around the empty hallway. "I might just move in here someday." Another awkward laugh follows. Then silence.

One thing you know about your ex, is that he is either really horrible at reading the room, joking around when it was time to be serious, or he's really good at playing dumb when he knows he has fucked up. But with the day you've had today, you couldn't care less about which of those he was doing.

"It's very quiet this side of town isn't it?"

"Seeun go home."

You go to unlock your door and he moves out of your way.

"I came to get my things." he mutters, you roll eyes barely sparing him a glance.

"Maybe lead with that? I'm not in the mood for any shit right now." You open your door stepping inside leaving it open for him. He just stands at your doorway, a small pout on his face.

"You won't invite me in?" He laughs giving you a lopsided smile.

A smile that would've had you weak in the knees back then. A smile you would usually return with one of your own. Maybe a little giggle, because it would instantly cause him to start giggling too. A smile you loved seeing at times like these, where you felt like your world was crumbling, as it always made you feel so much better.

A smile that now causes your eyes to start brimming with tears. A smile that makes you feel like your throat is closing up, and causes bile to rise up from your stomach.

A smile that now repulses you.

He shifts uncomfortably at your glare. "Tough crowd I guess." he mumbles stepping inside, closing the door behind him.

"So... Can I start in the bedroom? You took a LOT of my hoodies-"

"Take what you're here for and leave, Seeun."

He huffs at your cold response.

"I'm not here to fight with you, Y/n. There's no need for all of this."

"There wasn't any need for you to be a dick towards me all day, yet that still happened."

"Oh come on, you're still mad about that?" He scoffs.

"You can't keep taking everything so personally Y/n."

He sighs shaking his head.

"Look, I have things to do-"

"-Like Areum?" You cut him off and he freezes at that. You feel his eyes on your back.

He knows that you know. Did he seriously expect you not to find out after both his and her company released public statements? it's quite literally the only thing k-netizens are talking about right now.

Though xikers may not be a really big name in Korea, Areum on the other hand is practically the nation's princess, one of YG Entertainment's top models with an impressive reputation, and several brand ambassadorships under her belt. Already having garnered a large fan base after only one year since her modeling debut, the news of her having a boyfriend would most definitely have her fans going crazy.

You could've liked Areum too at some point. She seemed to be a sweet girl. She was always lovely towards her fans and her staff. Very polite and respectful in front of the cameras. You do not doubt that she was likely even sweeter behind the scenes as well.

Unfortunately, the chance that her and Seeun have likely been seeing each other since your relationship with Seeun started, leaves a bitter taste in your mouth.

He clears his throat harshly, an attempt to compose himself.

It seems you've caught him off guard.

"That's none of your business."

Now it's your turn to scoff. He has some nerve. You turn to face him and he has the audacity to look mad at you. As if this was your fault.

"Congrats on that by the way. Although I would've appreciated a little heads up that you've been two-timeing me our whole relationship."

His eyes widen in shock. He opens his mouth to speak but immediately closes it again, his facial expression neutral.

"It wasn't like that." You scoff at his words.

"Could've fooled me."

"Y/n don't." He grits out, avoiding your eyes.

"I really was just a joke to you, wasn't I?"

"For fucks sake it wasn't like that!" His loud voice causes you to flinch.

Throughout your relationship he has never raised his voice at you. Sure he was loud and yelled often, within your vicinity. But he has never yelled at you. He loved you too much for that. Perhaps he still does with how he instantly looks regretful at what he just did.

"Then what was it like Seeun? What you're telling me and the way you're treating doesn't match up. So what am I supposed to believe?"

"It-I-" He exhales deeply hands over his face, clearly at a loss for words. Or at a loss in general.

In this moment he no longer looks at you with a snarky glare, or a cruel smirk. He just looks lost. He looks like the boy you fell in love with again.

It reminds you of the conversation you had with the CEO.

Something about an arrangement.

You take a step closer to him.

"Seeun?" he looks up at you, a nervous look on his face. Like he's scared of something.

That gives you a small glimmer of hope. That this was all that it was, an arrangement for publicity's sake.

But why couldn't he just tell you that? Was a breakup necessary?

"Seeun, what is going on?" You slowly take another step closer, and hold his hand. He lets you.

"Please, just talk to me. What is this arrangement Mr. Kim mentioned?" He looks startled by your question but doesn't pull his hand away.

"It's about you and Areum right?" He doesn't answer you, nor does he pull away from you.

Instead, he pulls your hand towards his lips and plants a small peck on your fingers, mumbling something inaudible.

"What?" He finally looks into your eyes, with a blank expression.

"I liked the date." You stare at him, utterly confused.

"...What?" He gives you a small smile.

"March 22nd. It's a nice date. It's cute... And very believable considering we were at the same event together around that time."

"Seeun that's- no but it-I-" You feel overwhelmed, a bad feeling creeping into the pit of your stomach. They couldn't have picked a different date? One that wasn't yours and his' anniversary?

"Seeun that's ours. It's our date, That's when we started dating, not-"

"I need you to know-" he cuts you off gripping your hand a little tighter, "-after I left last night, I went to Areum's place."

Your feel your heart sink at that.

"We spent the night together and... we're dating now."

You feel nauseated, his tight hold on your hand is now uncomfortable. Why hasn't he let go yet? You try to pull away from him but he only holds on tighter.

"I need you to understand something, Y/n." His grip on your hand, is now painful. He pushes your chin up with a finger, making you look into his eyes.

"What I had with you, is nothing compared to what I have with Areum."

Your eyes are already brimming with tears. You try to move out of his hold but he only pulls you back. A cruel grin on his face.

"You want a reason for why we broke up? Here it is; I don't love you."

The tears slowly roll down your face. He sees them, and laughs.

"Cry all you want, I'm only telling you the truth."

His tone is mocking as you stare up him, with teary eyes and a trembling lip.

You should've never let him in. You should've never allowed him into your home. You should've told him to leave, fetch his things when you weren't at home. You shouldn't have said yes to dating him. You shouldn't have let him into your heart.

"My arrangement with Areum, has nothing to do with you, so stay out of it." He finally let's you go, yanking his hand away from yours, as if he's disgusted by your touch. Your hand now stings from how tight he held it.

"Get that into your head, and never forget it; I do not love you. You're nothing to me."

He leaves you in the living room, heading off to your bedroom to collect his belongings.

"One more thing," It seems he still wants to rub some salt in the wound.

"I don't appreciate you or anyone referring to my relationship with Areum as an 'arrangement'. I don't care who you heard it from, don't ever disrespect my girlfriend like that again."

He heads off into your room closing the door behind him.

You collapse onto your couch and finally break down, heavy sobs escaping you.

You really wish you had just told him to leave...

<previous chapter :: next chapter>

[ourpickwickclub]

I listened to gr on a recent podcast (Andy Frasco on YouTube) and he was talking about parenting nowadays vs when he was growing up and said "my kid wakes up at night and I got a fuking message from my ex like the kid needs therapy. I don't know if he needs therapy. Are you crazy?" He said it in the rudest, mocking tone. It's around the 31 minute mark. He also said he's terrified of people abandoning him because they always do. He was asked about regrets and said he doesn't believe in regrets and said if you go back to those moments there was something in you that wanted to make those decisions. Thank you for confirming you wanted to cheat on Gwen throughout your relationship and it wasn't a mistake. He also said he did a 3 1/2 day water fast and it looked like he had a face lift. At the end he said he's been accused of not hav8ng discipline with the boys and it's a competition for the kids regarding households and he wants them to have the best of everything and the best time when they're with him. I can't believe he thinks like that as a father. And he gives himself 100% credit for all 3 of them playing music.

He is the absolute worst and I wish him nothing but the absolute worst. An all around awful human being.

Sounds like he could have used more therapy. You know that is the mediator messaging him. Interesting how he worded it. Not a get a text or a call. He gets a message. Because he is so toxic his ex won’t even directly speak to him.

Thanks to Blake for teaching King guitar and and Gwen and Blake for the music in their lives. GR is a big bag of wind with bad hair plugs and crypt keeper vibe. He is so gross to me.

I won’t give that podcast a play myself so thank you for the summary. I hope Gwen finds out that he is telling the world these very private things about her kids.

- B

[deleteddewewted]

Single Dad! Aizawa Headcanon

Aizawa x Gn! Reader

W/n: This is an Au where divorced Aizawa raises his daughter Eri all on his own till he meets the reader. He is not originally 1-A's homeroom teacher.

W: Single Parent Aizawa, Doctor! Reader, Parent Au, Eri is Aizawa's Biological Child, Angst, Fluff, Mentions of Cheating, Hurt/Comfort

If you'd like to support my work (Check my Ko-fi and Throne!)

He's cautious with everyone especially people who interact with his daughter Eri.

She's his everything, his reason for waking up and doing his job. He'd be damned if he allowed someone to come into her life and hurt her.

That's why he was weary to date ever again.

His divorce with his ex-wife was messy. She wanted nothing to do with their daughter and it made it harder on him because he now had to explain to his daughter why "mommy" wasn't coming to see her.

He loathed his ex. She not only destroyed their marriage but she also left her own daughter in pieces.

Because of that, he vowed to never date or remarry ever again.

Love for himself was something he put on the back burner so he could dedicate his time to Eri and her healing since she needed to be put in therapy after the divorce.

He continued teaching and eventually found himself being transferred to the 1-A classroom as their homeroom teacher.

It came with a hefty bonus and greater responsibilities but it allowed him to have greater security.

He moved himself and his daughter to a more secure and safer part of the city that was closer to the school.

He got his daughter new toys and even got her a cat to keep her company while he graded papers at home.

He wanted to give her the safety she felt she lacked.

So when he met you, he struggled to keep you at arm's length.

His daughter was the only person he wanted to focus on but you kept worming into his heart and eventually invaded every thought.

You were a doctor who he started seeing after Mic recommended you.

You were good at your job, always managing to get your patients the best recovery plans and treatment so they could go back to duty.

You've reset his shoulder one time and on another just drawn blood to see if he's caught anything he should be working on.

According to you, his blood pressure is too high and he had to start limiting his caffeine intake.

You were perfect.

He felt the back of his neck and ears run hot whenever you were close by.

Your laugh was infectious and your presence was overwhelming.

You were perfect.

And you were great with children.

You made sure to always ask him about Eri.

You even made him lunch with the addition of a to-go box because you made extra for Eri.

You were a godsend and you didn't even know it.

He invited you to his apartment to meet his daughter.

Eri was weary of you at first, you were a stranger after all and she was still processing the separation.

She slowly started coming out of her shell as you started complimenting her clothes.

She was wearing a cat hoodie with a fur lining. Her slippers were matching but held the addition of little hat ears.

It was absolutely adorable.

As the night went on, Aizawa began relaxing as Eri seemed to like you and the conversation.

He's never seen his daughter smile too much around a stranger.

He kept inviting you over under the gauze of hanging out and that Eri misses you.

And he wasn't completely lying. Eri did adore you.

You were the only other thing she talked about. She begged her dad to keep inviting you just so you could show her more pictures of your cats which she had grown fond of.

You were a positive change and it was a little overwhelming to him because he never thought that someone could make his heart skip a beat ever again after his separation.

He asked you out when he was visiting your clinic for a check-up on an injury.

His nose had been broken and he needed you to reset it back into place and drain the blood out that clogged his sinus.

Through gritted teeth and bloody lips, he asked you out to dinner at his since he couldn't leave Eri alone.

"I'd love to go out with you. Why don't we make it a family-friendly date so Eri can spend time with us?" You were happy to include Eri and you were happy to have dinner with him.

He spent the time leading up to your arrival at his home stressing.

You were nothing like his ex-wife and he knew that.

But his fears still crept in as he made sure to clean up so his home looked presentable.

You arrived at his apartment in your regular clothing and brought with you treats for him, Eri, and their cat.

The night was a success and soon enough you found yourself helping Aizawa get Eri to her bed and tucking her in.

"Thank you for.... being understanding." He rubbed the back of his neck with his hand while avoiding eye contact with you.

He'd understand if you found him to be too much baggage with his child and his career.

You were so nice to him and to his kid that he felt almost embarrassed that you were so kind.

"No problem, Shota. I hope we could do this again sometime soon. I love spending time with you and Eri." You kissed him goodbye as you left for your own apartment.

Since then, his mood has improved. His students notice it and so do his friends.

He gets injured less and his blood pressure is regulated.

He felt refreshed, new, and free.

You were nothing like his ex.

You were someone who he could rely on to have his back.

You were there when Eri needed help

You were a parent to her that she adored with all of her little heart.

You were the person who he saw himself spending the rest of his life with.

[tea-and-secrets]

CW for cheating? Toxic friendship maybe?

I stopped talking to my (now former) best friend a few months ago after a long series of events that's far too convoluted a cursed to get into specifics, but the basics are

1. He cheated on his boyfriend under false pretenses of a poly relationship that literally everybody involved was told about and involved in, EXCEPT FOR EX-BFF'S BOYFRIEND. They are still together as far as I know, which is insane. They are also STILL FRIENDS WITH THE GUY EX-BFF CHEATED WITH??? At least as far as I know it's been months since I have talked to any of them.

2. Ex-BFF also tried to use *my grades* because I had all A's and he was failing all of his classes because he never went to any of them. to try and stay as a mod in a discord server that needed proof of his grades (this could have been a lie, I wouldn't put it past him, this is also dumb because we don'teven have the same degree.)

3. Lied about his work schedule to me as a whole mess of excuses to get out of his responsibilities.

4. constantly used me as free therapy for his relationship issues, I now know way too many thinks about all of his romantic life that I can never erase from my brain.

5. After I stopped talking to him, tried guilt tripping me into apologizing, and trying to get me to comfort him.

I am absolutely not blameless though in our friendship falling apart, I was a major asshole in a lot of ways, but I have been working on it, and I think on both of our parts I still think was unavoidable. Though I still regret a lot of my actions around our friendship.

Anyways now, ex-bff's sibling is coming to our school and I am very excited to see how it goes. I also think it would be very funny to remain friends with ex-bff's sibling not only to spite him but because the sibling is actually a really cool person. (They also still follow me on tumblr which is weird but kinda funny lmao)

Somehow this is one of the most tame ways a friendship has ended in my life

.

[adoremexxs]

Sekido and Aizetsu Modern Headcanons

i love writing for sekido.

warnings: mentions of sh, smoking, i always make these so angsty

Sekido

OH MY GOD

i love this man

so hands up by 6arelyhuman is one of his favorite songs

if karaku catches him singing it, he gets mad

and throws things at karaku bc karaku loves teasing him

sekido is EXTREMELY skilled at archery

the way his arms pull the bow back with such strength, his veins bulging out and his hair up in a bun

he’s so fine

he gets extremely stressed so he has resulted to smoking weed from time to time and to smoking cigarettes

he keeps the cigarettes hid from his brothers but most of them all know about it

he just doesn’t want aizetsu to find out

sekido and karaku are the only brothers who have kept their long locks

sekido wears it up in a bun whenever he is doing activities or uses a head scarf (what Uta wears) to pull it back when cleaning or doing chores

he does most of the chores around the house, aizetsu helps him but he mainly cleans bc urogi and karaku def don’t clean

zohakuten has jokingly called him mom or mother a couple of times

whenever it’s raining, he loves it, he relaxes so much more

he sits in his room, by the window to watch the rain go “pit-pat” against the window, a book of poetry sat in his lap

he wears sweaters a lot

especially at home when it’s that cozy fall or winter weather

he LOVES fall or winter but gets pissed when it’s too cold or wet to do anything

sekido constantly needs to move around or engage his mind or else he doesn’t know what to do

aizetsu sometimes comes into his room and lays on his bed to sleep or just talk to him

“sekido, are you alright? you look a bit upset…”

“perfectly fine, zetsu…”

“you know you can tell me anything, ‘kido…”

Sekido lets Aizetsu vent or cry to him no matter HOW annoying he can be

Whenever Aizetsu’s toxic ex girlfriend cheated on him with Douma of all people, Sekido threatened to beat him up

And he did

Though Aizetsu didn’t want him too

Sekido and Aizetsu are pretty close

Aizetsu is his baby brother, he must take care of him

He has to take care of them all

Whenever Sekido found out about Karaku’s incident, he didn’t talk to him for a week

he couldn’t process it

why would his little brother do something like that?

something so stupid!

it infuriated him so much that he didn’t want to see karaku’s face

it pained him too much

but eventually they started talking again

enough with the sappy shit

karaku made sekido be an art model for a day

it was a harmless idea

but man did it boost sekido’s ego, they all made him look so good, so sculpted

but our bbg is already perfect

sekido doesn’t know how gorgeous he is

A LOT of girls have a crush on him

but he scares everyone off by being so harsh and mean

it’s even hotter to watch him practice soccer, football or archery

his legs are massive, he legit has massive thighs and calves

he takes all his anger out on football and soccer

can play the violin and piano

wears earrings, usually gold

has matching nipple piercings w/ karaku and urogi

they did it while he was asleep

he’s a deep sleeper, he can sleep through anything

he slept thru getting his nipples pierced

sekido was pissed when he saw them and urogi and karaku were forced to clean the entire house as punishment

gets in a lot of fights

the BIGGEST daddy issues

legit has the biggest daddy issues and anger issues

karaku deals with his daddy n mommy issues by sleeping with multiple people

sekido deals with his daddy n mommy issues by beating the shit out of people and having extreme negative thoughts

his mental health is shit

he suffered from self harm for awhile, he always wears long sleeves even in 100 degree weather

karaku always thought it was strange but he legit didn’t think anything of it. he thought sekido just likes long sleeves

he’s recovered now, thank goodness

also goes to therapy

after what happened with Zohakuten, he felt terrible because he had become just like their father

he’s doing a lot better now

Aizetsu

oh aizetsu

he’s one of the sweetest brothers

Him and Urogi get along but Urogi’s teasing makes him sad sometimes

Urogi immediately apologizes

He spends most of his time with Sekido

Especially in his room

he’ll lay on Sekido’s bed to nap or read to just talk to his big brother and Sekido will listen

he legit cried his heart out when his toxic gf cheated on him

Sekido awkwardly comforted and then took Aizetsu to a bunny cafe to cheer him up

Aizetsu LOVES bunnies

And collecting crystals with Urogi

His love for bunnies is extreme

He begs Sekido for one

Sekido says no everytime but if Aizetsu wants a bunny plushie, he’ll buy it

which resulted in Aizetsu’s bed being filled with bunny plushies

some are in his closet

he has too many

wears bunny jewelry

like bracelets or necklaces sometimes

Karaku would tease him for his love for bunnies, saying that he is like Zohakuten who has a childish obsession with dragons

Zohakuten beats Karaku up for that

Him and Urogi will practice soccer together or sometimes, very rarely, work out together

Aizetsu doesn’t work out really, his muscle is all from genetics and doing sports

He does track and soccer so his legs are naturally built

He bruises very easily

Also gets hurt easily which has Urogi and Sekido fussing over him

Urogi is very protective over Aizetsu because he doesn’t want his brother to be hurt at all

That’s why he played a prank on Aizetsu’s toxic ex-girlfriend because it’s not like he can beat her up

They got Daki to do that instead

He times it perfectly

He was on the second floor and leaning out the window with a bucket of green slime, obviously Karaku was with him

He dumped slime on her head

Aizetsu was so embarrassed that Urogi did that

but also thought it was funny and deserved

Aizetsu took up fencing as a past time

He’s really good at it and he enjoys it

is depressed and has to take medication

he is slowly getting better

distracting himself is his way of escaping it

he has a beautiful singing voice

he can sing them high notes

can play the violin as well

him and urogi match sometimes

is lowkey obsessed with “Love is a waste of time” by Lovely Peaches and “I know you” by Faye Webster

I know you is his crying song

he pretends he’s in an edit sometimes when he is alone

it’s very funny

Blew up on tiktok

he is legit known as the “sad hot guy”

is ashamed of his title

but his followers have boosted his confidence a bit

karaku has tried to get famous on tiktok too

“we legit should start a tiktok with all four of us”

“that’s a terrible idea, karaku. you’ll just hog all the attention!”

“no i won’t!”

even though his brothers all argue and give Aizetsu a headache, he still loves them a lot

[hmshermitcraft]

Scott(transmasc) owns a flower/cafe shop it was stressful because he has a child(fanmade and 4)named Graceline. Now he has to take care of her alone since Jimmy cheated with Tango. Luckily he's coworkers are there to help him bdubs, grian, Cleo, xisuma, xb, and Martyn. Now bdubs is kinda in the same situation he's lovers etho/skizz/impulse kicked him out of their poly and hero team. He's child is 1 and he's name's joy because he helped him a lot. Grian and xisuma was overworked by the hero commission so they'd runaway as to not die. Cleo and Martyn has been his best friends since they were kids and now despises Jimmy especially since he's a hero. Ren is Martyn lover and gem/pearl are Cleo lovers who are changing the hero commission after what they did to xisuma and grian. Xb is quite normal in a way main reason is his lover keralis is number 1 hero who's actually competent at his job. They help everyone no matter what only Scott doesn't know is that it's a ceasefire area. So when Jimmy and etho/skizz/impulse comes groveling for what they did now at first they couldn't forgive them so quickly. It takes quite awhile to forgive them so they became poly with Scott/Tango/Jimmy and bdubs/skizz/etho/impulse. Now mind you they got a lot of shovel talks by everyone and also after convincing keralis the hero commission changed to be more humane.

Scott's always considered his shop a safe place. He has Madeline to protect, firstly. But he's had enough petty drama to last a lifetime. His rules are simple: no fighting, if you don't respect people then you're out. It's nice to be able to support his friends, and to be supported by them in return. Even if Grian and Martyn keep replacing the sugar in their break room with salt...

He just didn't realise it was 'officially' a safe place. Something actually designated in whatever guidelines the heroes and villains follow. He doesn't know who made it official, but he likes to boast his coffee is just that good.

Cleo was also very frank in telling Scott to turn Jimmy's attempt to come back into his life down. Immediately. She'd punch him, if needed, but how dare he show his face around here again after what he did. He's lucky Madeline isn't old enough to feel the true betrayal of what Jimmy did to them.

Scott honestly agrees with her. It takes a long time for him to let Jimmy into the coffee shop at all, and even longer to be out front whilst Jimmy is there. All his friends (and employees too, he guesses) banded together without asking to keep Jimmy away from him. They do the same for Bdubs, when his exes realise where he works.

Bdubs ends up forgiving them first. The three worked hard to regain his trust. The pressure of the hero organisation was messing with them, badly. They knew Bdubs had Joy to look after, but for some reason all they could think about was how it would pull them down. They didn't have time to look after a child, plus being heroes and the danger... But they never should have valued that over Bdubs. They've been to therapy and they're working to improve themselves.

Scott is less easy to convince, because his wasn't a simple break up. He follows Cleo when she says 'once a cheater, always a cheater.' How is he supposed to trust that it won't happen again? Especially with the person Jimmy cheated on him with.

Maybe Scott is an idiot, but he lets them in. And... They're good to him. They help out at the café, they don't keep Scott in the dark about their jobs (Jimmy always used to do that. Be out at all hours and Scott would only ever find out why on the news.) Madeline adores them both.

He thinks Keralis has made it very clear what will happen if they mess up this second chance. But Scott makes sure to repeat it too.