#even when i tried to set boundaries over this and other things

[nimzajsstuff]

His Midnight Snack | JYH 18+

!AGELESS BLOGS AND MINORS WILL BE BLOCKED!

Pairing: Vampire!Yunho x afab!Reader

Genre: Mature, Smut, Romance, SupernaturalxHuman?

cw: greedy yunho, bdsm (boundaries are set and its not too much bdsm), blood play, spit play, biting, size difference (if you squint),pet names (baby, sweetheart, my love), let mk if I missed anything <3

Summary: You haven’t seen your boyfriend, Yunho, in sometime since he had distance himself because of his family trying to interfere with your relationship. But Yunho shows up to your house late at night starving, hungry for you and your touch.

wc: 4k.

[a/n: sorry if this is messy and the plot gets lost somewhere. I made this half asleep because I couldn’t get one of yunho’s recent looks out of my head lol. Sorry for any mess ups!]

After a long day of work, you find yourself dragging your feet up the steps of your porch, fumbling with your keys to unlock the door.

What felt like forever, you finally made it into your house, letting out the biggest sigh. Office work is not for the weak. You leaned down to take your heels off and removed your glasses, setting them aside on the mini table that was next to the front door.

You walked to your couch and sat down, pulling your phone out.

The first thing you do is go to your messages to see if your boyfriend texted you. It had been two months since you last seen him in person.

His distance was upsetting you, but you understand his reasons.

The thing is, you lived in a world full of humans and vampires. Human and vampire relations weren’t uncommon these days, but some vampire parents and families were least understanding when it came to human significant others.

Unfortunately, Yunho’s parents just happen to be apart of the group who weren’t willing to understand. They tried everything in the book to make you break up with him. They even stooped low to the point of offering you millions to break up with him, but money couldn’t buy the happiness Yunho gave you.

As if the universe felt your unease, Yunho texted you. You sat up quickly, a smile decorating your face.

Yu._.Yu: I miss you so much, my love.

Of course you texted him back that second, letting it be known that you were waiting for his text all day.

You: I miss you more handsome.

You: yuyu :(

You: when will I see you?

You sat your phone down on your table with a sigh before standing up to go to your kitchen.

Walking into your kitchen, you walk over to your cabinet and grabbed a wine glass, setting it on the kitchen counter as you turn to decide which wine you wanted to accompany you to the bath.

You decided to grab a random bottle of wine, you poured your glass and took it to the bathroom with you.

You set your glass down on the sink and started your bath, making sure to use a soothing bubble bath.

You pulled your pencil skirt off along with your tights. You turned to look in the mirror, your hair that was pulled back in a tight bun now hung loose, you mascara slightly smudge from constantly rubbing your eyes back at the office.

Letting your hair down, you shed off the rest of your clothes and went to sit in the warm, bubble bath making sure you took your glass of wine with you.

You let your tense muscles relax as you seeped further into the bath, the sound of the bubbles fizzing relaxing you.

You let your eyes close as you let your glass of wine touch your lips, taking a small sip, enjoying how smooth the wine felt.

Setting the glass aside, you let your mind wander off to other things.

Oh- how you missed your man so much. His touch, the way his big hands were always somewhere on you, his kisses, the way he kissed every part of you like you were the most delicate thing in the world. The way his kiss would linger a second too long just to get a taste of your sweet skin. The way he made you feel out of this world.

Sliding down deeper in your bath, you let your legs part, your hand traveling down your body the same way Yunho would slide his hand from your breast, down your sternum, his long slender fingers circling around your belly button, teasing you while placing open mouth kisses on your neck.

Once your fingers met your sensitive clit, you imagined it was Yunho’s, his long, cold fingers making your body go through immense pleasure as he spread your juices all over your clit.

You let your fingers rub your clit in small circles, in no rush, letting the feeling clear your clouded mind. Your brows furrowed, mouth opening slightly, soft moans escaping your lips.

You missed the way his cock stretched you open as he pounded into you from behind, his chest vibrating from his low deep moans. Your fingers slid down to your hole, letting a finger slip inside, pumping in and out of you.

“Yunho~” you softly moan.

“Yes, my love?”

Suddenly, your eyes flew open as you screamed at the top of your lungs.

There he was, like a genie coming to make your wish come true. “Yunho! You scared the shit out of me!” You slapped him on his arm.

“I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean to,” he’s crouched down by the tub, leaning forward and grabbing your smaller body into a hug,

“I couldn’t hold myself back from seeing you. I thought you would have been in bed, but your moans told me otherwise.” his deep, silky voice sending shivers down your spine. Your face turned red as heat rushed to your cheeks at the thought of Yunho catching you red handed. He placed a gentle kiss on your ear, a small chuckle escaping his lips.

“I- I missed you so much. I’ve been stressed.” You try to explain, but fumbled over your words.

Yunho’s eyes flashed red as he looked at you with a handsome smirk on his face, “It’s okay. I’m here now, so let me take care of you.”

He grabs your neck gently before pulling you in a deep kiss. You moaned into his mouth as he pulled you out of the tub, wrapping your legs around his waste as he walked into your bedroom, leaving behind a trail of water.

He tosses you on your bed, letting his eyes take in the sight of you,

“Spread your legs opens for me baby.” You spread your legs as he walked closer and pulled you closer to him. He settled himself on his knees in between your legs.

“You’re so pretty. I can see your little cunt throbbing for me.” He bit his lip before leaning in and placing a kiss on your cunt.

He stuck his tongue out, gentle swirling his tongue over your clit before licking your pussy.

“Ah, please, I want more!” Your back arched at the feeling of him licking you. The heat and wetness of his tongue sent shivers up your spine

He hums as he places his mouth over your pussy, sucking.

“You taste so fucking good.” He spreads your folds open with his fingers, attacking your clit as he flicks his tongue up and down at a fast pace.

He slides thumb up over your sensitive bud, rubbing it in gentle circles while he let his tongue slip inside you, thrusting in and out of you as he watched you with hungry eyes.

You let your back arch up as he worked his mouth over you. You let out strings of moans as your body contorted from the pleasure.

The way his tongue pumped in and out of you deliciously as his thumb worked your bundle of joy. You wrapped your legs around his head, thighs closing shut, but that didn’t stop him at all.

His tongue continued to thrust in and out of you, leaving you a shaking mess. You were pulling on his thick, black hair as you twist and turned, feeling your stomach knot in a good burn, but he pulled away, giving your cunt a harsh slap, making you yelp as he straightened up.

“Hmm, I can’t let you cum yet.” He walked over to the chair that slumped in the corner of the room and sat down in the chair. You watched as he got comfortable, leaning back slightly and pushing his hips forward.

He looked so enchanting sitting there. You couldn’t help but let your eyes roam over him. His wet, black button up shirt now open and exposing his toned chest, glistening under the dim lights, his slacks noticeably tight around his bulge, his belt struggling to keep closed.

Yunho smiles to himself before looking at you, “Like what you see?” Your eyes snapped to his, noticing his gaze was observing you as well.

You watched as he brought his fingers up to his lips, clearly holding himself back. Still watching you, he watched as you trudged over to him. Kneeling down on your knees, settling between his legs.

He exhaled at the sight of you, looking down at you and caressed your cheek lazily with his index finger. “You’re so pretty— d’you know that?” He mumbled.

Yunho examined every inch of your skin carefully, taking in the smell of you , counting each pulse from your neck as he gulps.

His fingers made it to his belt before undoing his belt, pulling it from the loops, “Well?” He held onto the belt, waiting for you to make your move.

Looking up at him, you let your hands slide over his thighs, up to the hem of his slacks. Yunho waited so patiently, letting you take your time pulling his pants down. Every small touch of yours left him burning, his cock throbbing against his underwear, leaking and wanting to be touched. He held himself together for you, but his patience was wearing low.

You watched as his cock sprang up, slapping against his stomach. Taking a gulp before grabbing his cock carefully into your hands. “Don’t make me wait Y/N.” He croaked, his free hand sliding into your hair, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pushing your face towards his hungry cock.

You look at his tip, angry red with a bead of precum falling down the side of his veiny shaft. Looking up at Yunho, you take his tip in your mouth.

Gently, you swirled your tongue around his tip, humming at the taste of him. Hallowing your cheeks, you take more of him in your mouth.

He hisses above you, a low rumble from his throat following shortly after. You bob your head, trying your best to work with his girth. Hallowing your cheeks, you gently suck as you moved your tongue along the underside of his cock, your small hand at the base of his shaft, stroking him with a twist of your wrist.

“Ah- fuck!” Yunho lets out a breathy moan, eyes now fully red and low looking down at your mouth wrapped around his cock. “Doing so good for me.”

He thrusts his hips up, forcing his cock down your throat. Tears brimmed your eyes as you let him fuck himself up into your mouth.

You dug your nails in his thighs as you closed your eyes, the corners of your mouth burning from the stretch. There was spit and precrum escaping your mouth, getting everywhere.

His hips stuttered before halting, harshly pulling your head back before removing his hand from your hair and grabbing his cock, strings of spit connecting from your mouth and tongue to cock. He taps his tip on your lips, smudging your spit and his cum everywhere. Yunho tossed his head back giving himself a few more strokes, sliding your mess all over his aching cock.

He leans forward and puts his tongue on yours. You let out a moan as he wraps his lips around your tongue, sucking it and pulling you closer by your throat. For a brief second, you felt his fangs slightly scrape your lip.

“I want all of you, Y/N.” He pulls back licking your lips.

“Do you want me just as much sweetheart?”

“I want you so fucking bad.” You gave a quick nod as leaned in closer to him.

Suddenly, you felt the leather of his belt running up your thigh.

You let out a shaky breath, waiting for him to tell you what to do next.

“Get on the bed, face down, ass up.” Standing on your feet, you made your way to the bed, not wanting to wait any longer.

Yunho takes one last long whiff of the way you smell, pulling his underwear and pants back up, but not bothering to buttoning his pants back up.

He walks up to the bed, standing right behind you before stroking his free hand over your ass and setting his belt aside.

“Can I? I’m so hungry, Y/N.” He always asks for permission to suck your blood, regardless of what the situation was.

Nodding your head, he leans down, placing a kiss on your ass before sinking his fangs into your cheek.

“Ah, Yunho!” You hiss. Your hand flew back and grabbed his hair harshly. You tug him off of you, your blood painted across his bottom lip.

“Seriously? There of all places?” You scolded him.

He smiles at you, teeth and fangs on display, red with your blood.

“Sorry baby.” His eyes stayed locked on yours as he gave the bite a small lick before moving up to you.

He flips you on your back, his mouth catching yours.

The taste of metallic covers your tastebuds as Yunho sticks his tongue in your mouth. His hand cupping your face as he pulls back looking at you, “If only you knew how good you taste to me.” He says, sticking his middle and ring finger in your mouth.

“Suck.” You wrap your lips around his fingers, looking up at him with your pretty eyes.

He leans down and kisses your cheek, trailing his kisses down to his favorite spot on your neck.

He licks your neck, tongue flat against your skin, licking the sweet spot repeatedly, making you moan and hum against his fingers. The feeling of your pulse against his tongue made his cock throb.

Yunho sinks fangs in your neck as your eyes roll back. He hums against your neck as he begins sucking your blood.

You bit his fingers as the pain soon reduced to pleasure.

He grabs your hand, trailing it down to his throbbing cock. He whined as your small hand rub against his length.

He thrusts up against your hand, hips lazy. The taste of your blood making him go crazy. A low growl comes from him as your hands makes its way into his pants.

Soon, he’s leaning up, hovering over you.

He lets his mouth hang open, tongue hanging out, your blood painting his tongue. His fingers slips from your mouth and into his, wrapping his lips around his own fingers, licking your spit off his fingers, desperately wanting your taste stuck on his tongue.

Effortlessly, he turns you back over, grabbing your hips and pulling you towards the edge of your bed.

He placed his hand on your upper back, gently pushing back down so that your face was on the bed.

He grabbed his belt and ran it over your ass letting you feel the cold leather of his belt kissing your skin gently,

“Color?” His voice low.

“Green.” You say quickly, bracing yourself.

A loud crack sounds in the room. He swing his belt towards your ass, the leather hitting your skin quickly. The burn was good as his large hand came over the spot he hit, sending a soothing pleasure over the area.

“Ah,” you hissed out a moan, eyes closing at the feeling, “Count.” He demanded.

You bit your bottom lip before opening your mouth, “One.”

Your heard the buckle of his belt jingle before the leather met your ass again, “Mmmh, two.”

Yunho moaned at the sight of your skin slowly turning red. He soothed his hand over the spot, pushing his clothed cock against your ass for a quick second, teasing you.

You tried pushing back onto him, but his hips were gone.

Yunho watches as you desperately shake your ass back, wanting to feeling his hips against yours again. This made him bite back his smile.

His grip on his belt tighten before raising his belt and swinging it back down over your left cheek. He watched as you moaned, body jolting forward before mumbling, “three.”

Yunho tosses his belt somewhere in the room before gripping in your ass. Squeezing your ass, giving your cheeks a shake biting his lips at the view. “My love is so perfect.” You let out a moan as he continued to grip and gawk at you.

“Yunho, I’m all yours, so please~.” You say as you wiggle your ass again for him.

Yunho lets out a low groan before slapping your ass hard, always making sure to sooth the pain with his hand after. “You want my dick filling your tight little cunt, huh?” You nodded your head vigorously. “Please, I’ll take it so good.”

You watched as Yunho slipped his shirt off, tossing it before pulling his pants and underwear down in one swift motion.

He was behind you quickly as he grabbed your throat, pulling you close, your back touching his chest.

He bit down on your shoulder, drawing blood as you struggled against his firm hold. Yunho watched as the blood seeped out of the wounds before wrapping his lips around the area, letting your blood fill his mouth.

His slender fingers hooking around your hips as he grinds his cock against your thighs.

It was hard not to moan at the sight of you covered in red marks from his belt and mouth. All his and his only. No one was going to take you away from him.

Yunho kisses your shoulder before taking a few steps back admiring you, “Bend over.” He demands, watching as you instantly bent over for him. His eyes danced across your ass before looking at your glistening cunt, “Fuck.” He pants.

He grabs his cock, slowly stroking himself. He let his index finger come over his slit, gathering the precum and smudging it all of his tip. He walked back up to you, his other hand reaching out to you as he slid his thumb over your glistening pussy.

The drag of his thumb was slow, making sure to rub over your clit. You closed your eyes as you felt that tingling pleasure come over you.

Yunho tapped his dick on your pussy, the sound of wet skin slapping against each other filing the room. “Mmm-” you hummed as he slid his tip up and down your folds.

“Im going to fuck you till your pretty fucking cunt is red.” He lifted his leg up on the edge of the bed before slowly pushing his tip in.

Slowly stretching you, before pulling back out. You whine at the teasing, making Yunho grin. He leans down and places a kiss on the middle of you back.

He places both of his hands on your waist, pushing you down into the bed. Your ass was still angled upwards as he starts to push his thick, heavy cock into you.

“Oh god baby,” he grunts. Your walls were pulsing around him, not used to the stretch after a while, but he continued to push in. Your little crys were getting louder with each inch that pushes its way into you, the stretch so good, your legs shaking.

Finally, you felt his hips touch you, Yunho completely bottoming out as you both gasp at the feeling of each other. “Green?” He asks.

A small nod from you was all it took before he lost all control.

He pulls his hips back, till only his tip was left before he thrusts back inside, your legs giving up. “So fucking tight. Pretty cunt wants my dick.”

His thrusts were fast, hard, and steady. The sound of your moans mixing together, the headboard knocking against the wall harshly, the sound of skin slapping against each other. Its was all so hot.

“Nghh,” you moan out, hands looking for something to grab on to. Yunho’s hands still wrapped around your waist as he pushes you down with his weight, fucking down into you.

“You should see how fucking pretty your pussy looks right now.” He was looking down at his glistening cock pumping in and out of you.

You felt yourself clench down around him as praises and compliments left his lips.

His hand reached up to your jaw, lightly giving your jaw a squeeze, “Let me hear how fucking good I make you feel.” He leans down, grunting in your ear.

“Yu~ m—makes me feel so good,” he grabs your hands, pinning them down on the pillow and intertwining his fingers with yours, “s-so fucking good.” You whisper, a stuttering mess as you look back at him, red eyes already looking at you.

He breathes out, pressing his head against yours. “Gonna make you cum—“ your hips starts to move back against his, meeting his fast rhythm.

You feel the head of his cock dragging against your walls, hitting your sweet spot over and over again.

He lets one of his hands slip down, pinching your nipple between his fingers. You lets your hand grip onto his wrist as the other stays locked with his.

You lean in and kiss him roughly, letting your moans enter his mouth.

In a sloppy kiss, Yunho haults his movement and pulls his cock out.

“Why—“ he flips you onto your back before thrusting back into you with the same rough pace as before.

Tossing your head back, you let out a long string of moans as Yunho continues to fuck into you. He leans forward and wraps his lips around your nipple, looking up at you as he does so.

His tongue flicking against your nub, biting and licking, leaving his marks all over you. He grazes his sharp fang over you, just enough to get what he wants, smearing the blood with his tongue around your nipple.

“So good around me.” He growls, looking down at how good your pussy is taking him.

Pulling out a little, he slows his thrusts as he spits down onto his cock and taking his thumb, rubbing his spit all over the both of you before picking his pace back up.

You look down at the way Yunho was thrusting into you, the veins on his cock glistening with your juices mixed together with his spit.

“God, fuck— harder.” You pant out, looking him in his eyes.

“Fuck—“ He groans, grabbing your legs and placing them on his shoulder, wrapping his arms around your thighs before snapping his hips hard and fast into yours.

You both moan as the sound of your skin slapping hard against each other starts to get louder. You watched as his eyes flickered between red and brown, brows furrowed as he fucks his thick, heavy cock into your tight cunt.

Skin clashing as your bodies joined together. He pushes your thighs to your chest, “The best view. Pretty pussy eating my cock,” Yunho grins lazily at you,

“Next time, I’ll film it and give my family something to talk about. This pretty pussy they can’t take away from me.”

Fuck… He was fucking you so good and hard. Talking to you with the filthiest words. You felt a knot in your stomach growing.

Suddenly, he starts thrusting in you, hitting your g-spot right on and so good.

“Ngh- yu.. I’m going to cum.” You mewl out, your hands gripping and scratching at his cold wrist.

“Cum on my dick baby. Paint my cock with your pretty cunt.” His thrust becoming erratic as his high approaches with yours.

“F-fuckk!” You cry out, walls spasming around him as your orgasm comes at you full swing, the heat in your core snapping in waves.

“Shit!” Yunho whimpers before pulling out and stroking his cock, cumming all over your stomach. His strokes slow as he slaps his tip on your clit before lining himself back up and pushing inside of you, grinding into you, riding both of your highs out.

He leans down, lips meeting yours in a deep kiss. You pull away looking in his eyes as he hums.

He pulls out and pulls you close to him.

“Don’t even think I’m finished. I’m hungry for you baby. It’s been too long.” He presses sloppy kisses all over you.

All you could do was wrap your arms around you, giving into the yearning vampire above you.

You have a long night to get through.

All credits to nimzajsstuff—Do not use my work for AI or translate.

~This is purely FICTIONAL and not real what so ever.~

[mikkeneko]

That post about Marcille and Laios' relationship actually got me thinking about Chilchuck and Laios' relationship. Which is harder to see in some ways because it mostly consists of positive absences.

At first, viewers might be inclined to wonder why Chilchuck sticks with the party. He says it's because he took payment up front, but he could give back part of the deposit and leave. Two other party members left; Laios explicitly gave Marcille and Chilchuck a choice as to whether they would stay or go, and they both chose to stay.

We know why Marcille chose to stay; she wants to save Falin and she considers the other party members her friends. Why did Chilchuck stay?

Chilchuck actually respects Laios a lot -- food and monster weirdness aside -- and that mostly comes I think through the positive absences from above. The things that Laios does not do.

Laios doesn't deliberately expose Chilchuck to danger or regard him as expendable. When Chilchuck starts to get enthralled by the sirens' song, Laios immediately snaps him out of it. Contrast that to Chilchuck relating that other adventuring parties will sometimes bring half-foots along just to sacrifice them or use them as bait!

Laios doesn't insist that Chilchuck put himself in danger by getting into combat. Even in situations where they're in danger and could really use more combatants, he only ever asks Chilchuck to take on non-combat tasks such as creating distractions.

Laios doesn't get in the way when Chilchuck is working and follows his directives of what to do around traps. He respects Chilchuck's work so much that he will even hand over his sword without hesitation, even when doing such a thing causes it to be damaged!

Laios doesn't press Chilchuck to divulge private information. When Chilchuck says he doesn't mix his professional and private lives, Laios respects that and doesn't push.

All the other party members infringe on these boundaries in some way. Izutsumi tries to egg Chilchuck into combat; Marcille pries into his home life; Senshi deliberately provokes him when he's trying to work. Not Laios. Once Chilchuck sets a boundary, Laios does his best to always respect it. (And I think Laios appreciates having clearly defined Rules For Chilchuck.)

Laios is a good party leader and he takes care of his team. Maybe this is my age showing, but when you find yourself in a good work situation with a good boss, you stay in that job.

[mercvry-glow]

Best of wives

parings. frank langdon x robinavitch!reader

summary. frank langdon loves his wife dearly, but family is hard when hard when her older brother is your boss.

warnings. typical pitt stuff, hospital setting, frank and reader are roughly mid to early 30s, reader is robby's younger sister (not specified on blood or adoptive, with an age -gap of 15 or so years), reader is pregnant, eating, other pitt characters, let me know if there's anything else!

notes. little bit of family light drama for the masses, and I'm love love loving all of the stuff we're talking about on here! I absolutely love this concept, and would 100% take more ideas like it for sister/daughter!reader. I hope you enjoy and as always feedback is appreciated in any form!

wc. 1400+

Frank Langdon was the golden boy of modern medicine.

At least that’s what he had tried to convince you when you first started dating.

You were a kindergarten teacher at the time, so nothing as flashy as a trauma resident at PTMC, but just as important. You just didn’t want that life—not after seeing what it had done to your brother, and certainly not after meeting Frank.

He was magnetic in that way doctors sometimes were—confident, razor-sharp, and just the right amount of reckless. The kind of man who could charm a crowded room and then disappear into an on-call room for eighteen hours if needed without blinking. 

You told yourself you wouldn’t date a doctor. You told yourself you weren’t interested in that. 

You told yourself a lot of things.

But Frank had a way of making you feel like the center of the world, his world. 

And that was dangerous.

You tried to set boundaries. “Work stays at work,” you told him once. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me. It’s what I’m here for,”

He had just laughed, flashing a smile, “Good. ‘Cause I don’t plan on keeping secrets.”

You wish you hadn’t smiled back.

Because five years later, here you were. Five months pregnant and walking into the emergency room with food in hand for all your favorite people—and your older brother too, who still acted like you were ten years old.

You navigated the Pitt like you owned the place, a regular of this particular establishment, bag of takeout swaying in one hand and the other resting on the gentle curve of your stomach. You weren’t showing too much yet, but just enough to get a few raised brows from the nursing staff. 

You offered a knowing smile in return.

At the desk, Dana smirked when she spotted you. “Look what the cafeteria couldn’t cook up,” the blonde teased.

“I brought fries,” you said with a smile. “So you better be nice or I’ll tell the baby.”

Dana laughed and plucked a soda from the bag like it had her name on it. “See? And they said teachers don’t want their own kids pfft.”

Frank was near the trauma board, mid-conversation with someone, but his attention shifted the second he saw you. His whole expression changed—softer, brighter, like he forgot he was running on three hours of sleep.

Jack had noticed too, of course. He gave you that signature Dr. Abbot once-over, arms crossed, brows raised in disapproval even though he was already moving to take the bag from you.

“You shouldn’t be wandering around here,” he said gruffly.

You smiled, entirely unbothered. “I’m not wandering, I’m delivering. I brought you all lunch.”

And just as you handed him his sandwich, a familiar voice joined the mix.

“Let me guess… she promised she’d just drop it off and go home, right?”

You turned to find Mikey, approaching with a shake of his head and a warm, if slightly exasperated, smile.

“I did,” you said, holding your hand up in mock surrender. “Scout’s honor.”

Robby looked you over with practiced eyes, always the doctor even when he was in big-brother mode. “You look good,” he said, stepping in to kiss the side of your head. “But next time, let one of these guys bring the food. You don’t have to run around for everyone on a Saturday.”

“I wanted to,” you said softly. “I like seeing you all. And the baby wanted fries.”

Robby a light chuckle. “Can’t argue with the baby, I guess.” He gave your arm a light pat, then turned to Frank. “You’re making sure she’s taking breaks, right?”

“Absolutely,” Frank replied, slinging an arm around you. He always wanted Robby to know he was taking care of you. Not only did you mean the world to him, but you were his mentor’s little sister. (Not that he knew when he met you.)

Jack, having stayed close, muttered, “She’s got you all wrapped around her finger.”

“Jealous?” you teased, raising an eyebrow.

“Terrified,” he deadpanned.

The three of them exchanged looks—your husband, your brother, and the grump who’d somehow also become family.

Before anyone could argue about who was more wrapped around whose finger, the overhead speaker crackled to life.

“Team to trauma-one. ETA two minutes. MVC, multiple victims.”

The shift in the room was immediate. The laid-back laughter evaporated into focus, movements sharpening with purpose. Dana tossed the soda into the trash like she’d never opened it. Jack was already pivoting, snatching a pair of gloves from the supply drawer, and Robby stood up straighter beside you, brotherly instinct kicking in.

Frank was the only one who paused, even for just a second. His hand lingered at your lower back, thumb tracing a circle through the fabric of your top.

You looked up at him and gave him a soft nudge. “Go.”

He hesitated. “You sure?”

“I’ll hang with Robby. Maybe even get him to eat something green.”

That earned you a quick grin—tired, but genuine as always. He leaned down and kissed your temple, then, because he never could help himself, his hand rested gently on your stomach. “Be good for mom, alright?” he murmured, before looking up at you again. “Text me if anything feels off.”

“I’m pregnant, not fragile,” you reminded him, smiling as you gently swatted his arm.

“Yeah, well. Humor me,” he said, backing away even as Jack called his name. “Love you.”

“Love you more.”

Then he was gone, disappearing into the chaos with the rest of the team. Jack, tough as ever, barked something to an incoming resident and tossed Frank a gown mid-stride. It landed squarely in his chest, and he caught it without looking. 

Routine. Precision. Showtime.

You turned back to the nurses station, watching it all unfold with that strange mix of pride and nerves that always bubbled in your chest when Frank was in the thick of it. You’d learned long ago that this was part of the deal—his heart belonged to you, but his hands, his mind (on occasion), and his adrenaline? 

They belonged to this place.

Robby stayed back a moment longer, his expression unreadable. Protective older brother mode was a hard one for him to turn off.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, eyes flicking down to your bump, then back to your face.

You nodded. “I’m fine. Just hungry. And I’m not leaving until someone eats this food I risked my ankles to bring in.”

He chuckled. “You’re still stubborn.”

“Runs in the family,” you said sweetly, sliding the bag toward him.

With a sigh, Robby sat beside you and pulled out one of the sandwiches. “You know,” he said, unwrapping it slowly, “when you first told me you were seeing someone, I never imagined it would be Frank.”

“Why?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Because I thought you had more sense,” he deadpanned, then smirked when you kicked his foot lightly under the desk.

You both sat quietly for a beat, watching the monitors light up as the trauma alert clock ticked down. Through the windows, you caught glimpses of Frank and Jack suited up, already fielding a barrage of vitals and questions as the paramedics wheeled someone in.

Robby followed your gaze. “He’s good. One of the best I’ve seen at this stage.”

“I know,” you said softly. “That’s why I fell for him.”

He glanced sideways at you. “You think it’s ever gonna get easier? Having another person on the inside of all this?”

You rested a hand over your belly. “I don’t know. Maybe not. But I think loving someone like Frank… like you… it’s worth the hard parts. He always comes back to me anyway.”

Robby nodded slowly. “He better keep doing that.”

Just then, the intercom squawked again—someone calling for extra hands in trauma-one. You and Robby exchanged a look before he stood with a resigned sigh, abandoning his half-eaten sandwich.

“Go,” you told him. “I’ll guard the fries with my life.”

“You better,” he said, ruffling your hair as he passed.

You stayed there, perched at the edge of the chaos, watching the people you loved disappear into the fray one by one. And in the middle of it all, you could hear Frank’s voice—calm, confident, commanding. He didn’t raise it often, but when he did, people listened. 

Just like Mikey.

You listened too, always had. Because no matter how far into the fire they ran, they always looked for you when on the back.

And you'd always be waiting, with food in hand and that steady calm only you seemed able to carry into a place like this.

mercvry-glow 2025

[greenwitchfromthewoods]

don't tell him. l Joel Miller

Summary: you tried to hide an unpleasant situation from Joel

Warnings: angst, attempted sexual assault, aggressive behavior, Reader feels guilty, violence, swearing; Ellie, Tommy, Ann, and Elliot appear

A/N: .

your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes

short stories from life. [masterlist]

Your footsteps echoed quietly in the hallway of the building that served Jackson as a sort of town hall. You knew you would find Tommy there and you were right. When you pushed open the door, he looked up from the map and was surprised. He wasn't expecting a guest and your appearance gave him the impression that something was wrong.

"What’s up?" he asked, "Patrol went wrong?"

You adjusted the strap of your rifle that was still hanging over your shoulder and bit your lip, feeling your heart still pounding. Eventually, though, you nodded. “I don’t want to go on patrol with Elliot anymore. I’m sorry, Tommy, but I refuse.”

He frowned and looked at you carefully, getting up from his chair. "What happened? This was your third patrol together. Did he do something irresponsible?"

He noticed you looking away, but after a moment your eyes landed on him again. “Yes, he did.”

The third patrol with Elliot was no different. All patrolling personnel had to be able to cooperate with each other, so partners were swapped from time to time. Shane took on another partner for a while, and you agreed to take Elliot. It was fine. Until that day.

You should have set the boundary from the start, but this time your faith in people failed you. Comments that seemed strange to you and made you feel uncomfortable kept falling from Elliot's lips.

"They're just compliments, honey." he said when you gave him a warning look. "Anger hurts beauty."

Neither Joel nor Shane had ever spoken to you that way. But patrol was the most important thing and that was what you decided to focus on, so you ignored the red flags that were popping up in the back of your head. And he probably didn't like it.

“Listen,” he began as you put the thermos away after your meal and slowly prepared to return to Jackson. “I know you know I like you. I saw the way you looked my way.”

"What?" you looked at him surprised. "I didn't..."

"You did. At the bar or when we saw each other in town." he stepped closer.

"Listen, I think you misunderstood me." you replied trying to turn it all into a joke. "You know perfectly well that me and Joel..."

"Joel." Elliot snorted. "Please, will he protect you? Will he keep you safe?"

The words died in your throat as you noticed the change in the man's eyes. The gentle gaze darkened. Instinct told you that you should back off, not provoke him, because that was apparently how he perceived every reaction you made to his words.

"Let's go back to Jackson." you said trying to ignore Elliot's strange behavior. You threw your backpack over your shoulder when you felt him grab your arm tightly.

"I'm serious, honey." he hissed. He was standing close enough to make you feel threatened. "You're pretty and smart, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Here-" he looked around the forest surrounding you "Here everything will stay between us and..."

"Let me go." you interrupted him sharply. "You have no right to talk to me like that! I don't know what you've got in your head, but it's fucking sick!"

"You keep tempting and provoking me, don't tell me that..."

You yanked your arm away and stepped back abruptly. Elliot had barely taken a step when you pulled a gun from your belt and aimed it at him. "Give me a reason." you said.

You were terrified, but you didn't want him to see it. Eventually, he just shrugged, muttered, "Bitch!", and picked up his backpack, then started walking without even looking back. It was only then that you realized you were holding your breath.

Tommy looked at you with a mixture of disbelief and anger, but he didn’t doubt any of your words. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered when you told him everything. “I wanted Shane to go with him, but Elliot asked you to. He said you liked each other and he’s already talked to you about it.”

"He said that? Jesus."

Tommy walked around the desk and approached you. Concern was written all over his face. "I'm sorry, he'll never go on patrol with you again. I'll talk to him. Fuck! When Joel finds out..."

Your eyes widened in an instant. That was why you came straight to Tommy.

"You can't say anything to Joel." you said, and seeing Tommy's surprised look, you added "You know what he can do. Joel... That guy you caught when Sam and Anthony died... I don't want him to do something like that again because of me." 

You didn't know what Joel did back then, but you weren't stupid and you weren't fooling yourself. That man disappeared without a trace. You didn't feel any regret about it. Were you a bad person? Probably, but you didn't want Joel to get furious and do something stupid.

Tommy leaned in slightly toward you. "He's my brother. I should keep you safe."

"Nothing happened. Just make sure I don't have to see Elliot on patrol anymore."

Tommy shook his head, but eventually sighed in resignation. "Fine. I won't tell him. What about you? How are you feeling?"

"Better now."

You had your reasons for keeping Joel out of what happened. It was between you, Elliot, and Tommy, and you just tried to forget about it. Things were really good between you and Joel, and you didn't want something unpleasant to happen to change that, and Elliot definitely could.

For a few days you wondered if maybe you had actually done or said something that would make him feel like you were interested in him, but you had found nothing. Nothing beyond the normal greetings or exchanges of words that you had with other residents of Jackson. But the guilt quietly churned in the back of your mind.

Tommy, as he promised, moved Elliot to other duties and soon you went back to patrolling with Shane, which you welcomed with great relief. You were ready to forget about everything.

For the past few weeks, Joel had seemed worried about something, but every time you asked him about it, he would say, “It’s nothing, honey. Just… thinking.” And then he would kiss your forehead or temple and pretend nothing was wrong. You asked Ellie and Tommy about it too, but they would just shrug—for them, everything was normal.

"Maybe he's getting more grumpy with age?" Ellie once said, so you dropped the subject before she could say anything more. Things were good between you, so you didn't want to look for problems.

However, when Ann showed up at your door that evening, you knew something was wrong. She had a flushed face and seemed very concerned about something.

"Something with Elijah or Shane?" you asked, getting up from the couch and putting the book aside.

"Why didn't you tell me?" her voice was shaking. "We're friends after all."

"Ann, I don't understand." you replied, walking up to her "What happened? Where's the baby?"

"With Shane." she threw out casually, but her hand quickly grabbed your arm. "Shane told me. About Elliot and what happened. Why didn't you tell me?"

Shit. In an instant, you felt like the ground had dropped from under your feet. Tommy had promised you. Did he really...

But Ann must have noticed your surprise and calmed down a bit, or at least enough to speak a little quieter. “Shane was at the Tipsy Bison today. Elliot and a few other guys were there too. He…” she took a deep breath. “He said some really nasty things about you. Shane wanted to react, just tell him to shut up, but then he heard him talking about your last patrol…”

"What did he say?" the words just poured out of your mouth.

“Nothing specific.” Ann frowned, trying to remember her husband’s exact words. “Something about how you’d been seducing him for so long that he’d suggested a quickie but you got scared. That you and Joel were bullshit and you’d come to him soon.”

"Asshole!" you groaned, feeling tears welling up in your eyes, and the lump in your throat hurt more and more.

“I know!” Ann groaned, folding her arms across her chest. “Shane didn’t believe it either, he thought Elliot was just talking nonsense. But then… He remembered Tommy telling him that you asked him to so you wouldn’t have to go on patrol with Elliot, and he got a little scared. Honey, what happened?”

How were you supposed to tell her? You didn't want to go back to it, you wanted to forget, but at that moment you felt like you were really to blame for everything. Ann was looking at you, waiting for some kind of answer, so you gave it to her.

But as the words left your mouth, and her face grew even more terrified, you told her the same thing you had told Tommy. "I beg you, don't say anything Joel. He can't..."

Ann's eyes widened and her face tensed as she looked over your shoulder. You had no chance of hearing Joel's footsteps. You were so focused on your friend that you didn't hear him come in through the back door. He must have heard it all because when you looked at him, you were terrified. Eyes darkened, his jaw tensed. He looked at you in a way that made you feel like your legs were about to give out.

“Joel…” he moved, but it looked more like a wild animal preparing to attack. This wasn’t your Joel. “Joel…” you repeated, trying to touch him, but your fingers only grazed his shirt as he quickly walked past you, running out of the house and slamming the door.

Tipsy Bison was filled with people. Conversation and music filled the air, and almost no one noticed when Joel entered. He wasn't thinking. Emotions had completely taken over his body and he wasn't going to fight it.

When he got home he wanted to speak, but he heard Ann's worried voice so he just went to the door. What he heard completely shocked him.

Elliot. The same guy he had talked to a few times, the one he had seen in Jackson. The same one who seemed to be just polite to you. Joel didn't see him as a threat. Were his instincts starting to fail?

Joel's brain was producing visions of what could have happened, and it only made him more furious.

He swept his gaze around the inside of Tipsy Bison and soon spotted his target. Elliot was sitting at one of the tables with a few other men. The man didn't notice him, and when Joel reached him, he had no chance.

A strong hand gripped his shirt and pulled Elliot, forcing him to stand up. "What the hell?" escaped him, but he didn't even hear the answer as something hit him hard in the face.

The force of the blow was so strong that he tripped over a chair and fell to the floor with it. His companions stood up, surprised by what had happened, but Joel was already leaning over him. More blows fell, splitting Elliot's eyebrow and breaking his nose. Blood began to pour from his mouth. He had no chance to defend himself when Joel attacked with such force and fury.

"Enough! Enough!" a scream rang out.

Three pairs of male hands grabbed Joel, with difficulty tearing him away from the man lying and whimpering on the floor. Tommy looked at the bloodied Elliot in horror, and then at his brother. "We're leaving. Now!"

Joel didn't even protest. Adrenaline was pumping in his ears, his heart was pounding in his chest. He knew that if it weren't for Tommy and the others, he probably would have beaten that guy to death. He could do it. He wanted to do it.

The cold air swept over his face as they exited the building. "What was that?!" Tommy growled. "What are you-"

"I know what he did to her." Joel interrupted, noticing his brother's hesitation. "You know what I'm talking about, right?"

Not without hesitation, Tommy nodded. "I know. She told me. That same day."

Joel's blood began to flow faster again. "Why didn't she tell me? She should have!" he growled.

"That's exactly why!" his brother gestured to the Tipsy Bison door, where people were probably trying to help Elliot. "She wanted to avoid this! She was thinking about you!"

Tommy knew that Joel's head must be a real mess right now. He didn't hide the fact that he supported what he had done, Elliot should be happy that they managed to get Joel off of him so quickly. But Tommy felt sorry for him too, and for you. He loved you both, and his heart broke when he saw how this world treated you.

"How did you find out?" he asked, a little calmer now.

Joel sighed. "By accident. I heard her talking to Ann."

"You talked to her?" Joel shook his head. "Then do it. Damn it, she loves you and I know you love her too. She was the victim, don't forget that. She didn't tell you about Elliot to protect you. Even then, she only thought about you."

Joel didn't answer. Something tightened painfully in his throat, and his right hand was starting to hurt. Tommy didn't stop him as his brother started walking towards the house.

When the door opened again, you instinctively stood up. You didn't know what to expect. Joel left in such a state that you were afraid of every possibility. Ann wanted to stay, but you convinced her that it was pointless, she couldn't help you, she couldn't do anything.

"Come here." he said quietly, and when you came closer he just spread his arms.

You snuggled into his chest, hugging him tightly. Tears were pressing to your eyes, but when Joel hugged you, you felt safe. The steady beating of his heart was soothing, his warmth enveloping you. "You should have told me, baby." Joel didn't sound angry, rather sad and worried. "I should have known."

"I didn't want to worry you. I thought if I solved it myself, I'd forget about it..."

“And that didn’t happen?” He held you tighter. You sank deeper into him. You’d never needed anyone as much as you needed Joel. The silence was enough. His chest heaved with a deep breath. “It wasn’t your fault, baby. That asshole got lucky anyway, because if it wasn’t for Tommy…” he sighed. “Elliot will never look at you again. I promise you.”

And you knew that Joel Miller always kept his word.

She quietly closed the door and took off her shoes so as not to make any noise. But after a few steps that Ellie considered unusually quiet, she heard a familiar voice coming from the kitchen. “Good thing you know where you live, huh?”

The girl sighed and followed Joel's voice. The kitchen was barely lit, and he was finishing a glass of water he'd come down from his bedroom to get. It was almost midnight. Joel had never told her to be back at a specific time, only to make it a reasonable hour.

Ellie leaned against the doorframe and shoved her hands into her pants pockets.

"What?" he mumbled, looking at her sly smile.

"Nothing." She shrugged. "I heard what you did. Good job, dude."

Joel rolled his eyes. Ellie snorted.

"He deserved it. And it was your duty, after all." Joel frowned. "You're her man, right? You're supposed to defend her honor or something."

He nodded. "Sometimes I wonder how to protect you both, you know. This world is so fucking messed up."

“What if things were like they used to be?” Joel looked at Ellie in surprise, but she just smiled. “If things were like they used to be. Without the infected and the Riders and all that crap? Do you think you and her would meet? Or the two of us? I don’t think so.” Ellie yawned and stretched. “I’m going to bed. Good night!”

"Good night, kid." Joel mumbled.

He stood in the kitchen for a moment longer, listening to her slow footsteps as she climbed the stairs, then the slam of the door. In the room across from Ellie’s, you were sleeping peacefully in your shared bed.

For a moment, he felt like he was truly home. And even though deep in his heart he still mourned the life he had, this new life was with him and he wanted to be a part of it. Joel felt better as he lay down next to you, put his arm around you, and snuggled against your back, kissing your shoulder.

"Ellie's back?" your voice was quiet and sleepy.

"Safe and sound, baby." Just like you.

☆☆☆☆

Thank you for your time.

taglist, i think: @picketniffler @orcasoul @bbyanarchist @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @somedayheaven @underneath-the-sky-again @callmebyyournick-name @hiroikegawa @

[rainydetectiveglitter]

Lilith in the Houses: How You’re Sexualized or Misunderstood

Lilith represents raw, primal energy in your chart, and depending on where it sits, it can cause you to be sexualized or misunderstood. Below, I’ve shared some thoughts on how this placement manifests in each of the houses, along with personal anecdotes where applicable. Keep in mind, this is just my anecdotal evidence, meant for fun.

♈ Lilith in the 1st House Aries

People with Lilith in the 1st house often have an intense, captivating aura. There's something magnetic and fiery about you that can’t be ignored, and others tend to sexualize or focus on your bold, rebellious nature. This placement often gets you misjudged as wild or "bad" simply for being unapologetically yourself.

When I think about this placement, I always think of Tiger King. His sexuality was constantly discussed, and in a weird way, he became this spectacle because of it. It’s also fitting for someone like Michael Jackson—you often see men with this placement with makeup, eyeliner, or other dramatic visuals to showcase that captivating energy. Even though their sexuality isn’t always overt, people seem to be entranced by it anyway.

You might feel that society is always trying to push you into the "wild" or "sexualized" box based on how you express yourself. People either want to put you on a pedestal or demonize you for being strong, assertive, or rebellious.

You may choose to reject or lean into this image, asserting control over how others perceive you. You could even challenge the societal expectations placed on you and fight to redefine who you are in your own terms.

Cultivate a deep connection with yourself—embrace your true essence unapologetically. Learning to set boundaries and validate yourself can help reduce the impact of others’ projections.

♉ Lilith in the 2nd House Taurus

People with Lilith in the 2nd house often find their physical bodies or material possessions sexualized. There's this feeling that others equate your body to your self-worth. People might also judge you based on how you express yourself physically, interpreting your appearance or possessions as tied to your sexual appeal.

I don’t have many people in my life with this placement, but it’s interesting because some people do view their bodies almost like a possession—almost as if they think their value is solely based on what they look like. In other words, what you own or how you look can often become a reflection of your sexual worth.

You may feel that your worth is constantly tied to your looks or the material things you own. This leads to external pressure and the need to fight back against these surface-level judgments.

You might either put your worth into material things or rebel against them altogether, which is a big internal struggle. At times it might be hard to escape being seen only through the lens of external value.

Reconnect to your intrinsic self-worth—focus on building value from within. Learning to separate your identity from your possessions or body helps you reclaim your true sense of self.

♊ Lilith in the 3rd House Gemini

Lilith in the 3rd house can turn communication into a double-edged sword. This placement tends to sexualize the way you talk—your voice, tone, and speech patterns are often perceived as seductive or inappropriate. I have this placement, and people often react to my words or how I speak in ways that are totally unrelated to my intent. It’s not uncommon for people to want to take normal conversations to uncomfortable places like phone sex or sexting, especially in dating scenarios.

I can personally relate to this. When I worked in call centers, I got told time and time again how "attractive" or "sexy" my voice sounded—and sometimes people tried to take it into inappropriate directions. Even in group settings, I was often told that my speaking style made people uncomfortable, even though I wasn’t trying to be sexual at all. I’m not a sexual person in nature, but people still tried to pull me into these conversations based solely on how I spoke.

You’ll notice that people often try to make conversations about you sexual or flirtatious. That misinterpretation, where every word or gesture becomes something charged, can make your day-to-day life more challenging, especially when you’re just speaking freely. You may also have the feeling that you’re often misunderstood in public settings or school/work environments.

You might find yourself either resisting or rejecting these interpretations of your communication style, maybe becoming more reclusive or adjusting your approach altogether to avoid discomfort. There could also be moments when you want to “own” that sexualized persona simply as a defense mechanism, but it’s not who you are.

Own your voice and set clear boundaries in communication. When people misinterpret your words, use it as an opportunity to clarify your intent. Confidence in your language can shield you from unwanted projections.

♋ Lilith in the 4th House Cancer

With Lilith in the 4th house, family and home environments become a space for projected misunderstandings about who you are. Family members may make inappropriate or uncomfortable comments about your body or behavior growing up. As you age, they might even sexualize or misinterpret the way you interact or express yourself, often seeing you as "too grown for your age" or crossing boundaries that shouldn’t be discussed.

Growing up with Lilith in the 4th house, you might hear off-handed comments from family that make you feel uncomfortable about the normal, healthy process of growing up. Your behaviors or growth could be taken the wrong way, as if people have the right to define what’s "appropriate" for you in terms of sexuality. This projection can last into adulthood when family members still impose unrealistic or discomforting expectations on you.

Family projections around your body or sexual expression can affect your sense of self at the core. You may feel like you’re being misread or that your home environment doesn’t fully support your evolving self-expression.

You might challenge your family’s views of you or assert stronger boundaries within the family dynamic. There may be tension in these interactions, as your natural growth challenges their limiting expectations.

Establish healthy boundaries with your family and assert your identity on your terms. Communicating your real feelings with those closest to you, while setting clear boundaries around your development, will help shift those projections.

♌ Lilith in the 5th House Leo

With Lilith in the 5th house, your creativity, sexuality, and enjoyment of life become intertwined. You’ll notice that people often sexualize your playfulness, creative pursuits, and even your flirtatious nature. What should be considered playful or creative can sometimes be twisted into something too sexual, especially if you are expressive about your individuality.

People may only focus on the "fun" aspects of your personality and forget that there's much more depth to you. Your free-spirited, playful side can easily be interpreted as promiscuous or “overly sexual.” You might feel misunderstood for simply enjoying life or for being unapologetic in expressing your individuality.

You may lean into this sexuality for a while, either to match people’s expectations or as a way to cope with it, but it’s important to find the right balance. Embrace your creative freedom, but also be firm with others when it comes to how you express yourself.

Set strong boundaries around your creative energy and personal expression. Help others understand that your essence is more complex than how they try to sexualize you.

♍ Lilith in the 6th House Virgo

With Lilith in the 6th house, your workplace interactions or your approach to health can often be misunderstood. At work, others might project a certain sexualized image onto you, particularly in professional settings where boundaries should be respected. In my experience, I've witnessed situations where a male friend of mine faced sexual harassment, which they often brushed off to maintain peace. He dealt with frequent inappropriate advances and even physical groping from female coworkers, yet felt pressured to “laugh it off” and keep things lighthearted. He moved his things to another area in the office after. It's clear that a misunderstanding of professional boundaries happens with Lilith in this house.

While I don’t have Lilith in the 6th house myself, I’ve seen it firsthand. I believe that this placement can create discomfort when others try to sexualize your approach to work or health matters. It's hard because these boundaries often get crossed by people who don't take your professional image or seriousness into consideration.

The 6th house is about routine, health, and service, but Lilith here creates tension, with people viewing your work or contributions through a lens of desire rather than respect. Whether it’s at work or in a healthcare setting, feeling sexualized or disrespected in such personal areas can make you uncomfortable.

You might try to keep your distance or react by shutting people down, asserting your boundaries and your right to be respected. Or, you might even go the opposite route and become very vocal about defending your space, making sure others understand where you stand.

Work on strengthening your boundaries, especially when it comes to professional or intimate health matters. Practice keeping your environment focused on your work ethic, not your sexuality. Keep things professional and assertive, refusing to let others cross boundaries.

♎ Lilith in the 7th House Libra

With Lilith in the 7th house, relationships become a central area where you’re misjudged. People might project their sexual desires or desires for control onto your partnerships, reducing them to something physical or superficial rather than emotional. There's an intensity to how people view your relationships—it’s almost like they see them through a lens of desire and don’t always see you for who you truly are.

I’m curious to hear if anyone else with this placement has had similar experiences, but I imagine people might confuse the depth of your relationships for something too sexual or too chaotic. Since the 7th house is all about partnership, whether in romance, business, or even friendships, the idea of Lilith here could make it feel like every relationship becomes a power struggle or is sexually charged.

It can be tough because it feels like your partnerships are seen through projections of sexuality or power dynamics that you didn’t necessarily invite. These projections can make you feel misunderstood in your closest connections.

You might feel compelled to set extremely firm boundaries within your partnerships to avoid these projections. You may even feel the need to prove your worth in relationships beyond what’s expected of you, sometimes overcompensating for others’ misunderstandings.

Let go of others’ sexualized projections in your relationships. Be clear about your emotional needs and how you define intimacy. Surround yourself with people who value your connection beyond the surface level.

♏ Lilith in the 8th House Scorpio

Lilith in the 8th house is all about transformation, power dynamics, and shared resources, especially sexual intimacy. People might find you intensely magnetic and view your sexuality as your most powerful attribute. However, this can also make others see you as a mystery or a source of intrigue. There is a tendency for you to become sexualized, especially when dealing with issues of intimacy, control, or shared power.

The 8th house often deals with taboos, and with Lilith here, it might amplify that in ways where others expect you to use your power over them in intimate relationships or become seen as an object of both desire and obsession. This can also trigger the deep-seated fears in both you and others regarding trust and control in relationships.

You might be underestimated for your emotional depth, with the focus too often put on your sexuality. This can leave you feeling like you are misunderstood at your core, and that people only seek power through intimacy with you.

You may play into this mystique, allowing others to see you as they want to, or you may put up huge walls around your vulnerability, keeping your power closely guarded. Either way, navigating these intense dynamics can create an ongoing challenge to maintain a sense of self.

Work on transforming your personal power in ways that allow you to reclaim your own identity. Practice embracing deep emotional intimacy and power in a way that doesn’t compromise who you truly are at the soul level.

♐ Lilith in the 9th House Sagittarius

Lilith in the 9th house often leads others to sexualize or romanticize your ideas, philosophies, or your travels. Your belief system and personal growth are powerful, but people might be more intrigued by your provocative ideas or the way you expand their boundaries rather than seeing you as an intellectual authority. There’s an undercurrent of attraction, as others tend to focus on your adventurous or boundary-pushing nature.

The 9th house placement gives you a vast sense of expansion, but Lilith here can make your explorations, whether mental or physical, something others overly sexualize. It’s like you’re seen as someone who’s not just about knowledge, but about breaking every boundary—and that becomes sexualized.

You may feel like your desire for intellectual or physical exploration is misunderstood or reduced to something superficial by others. It's frustrating when what you deeply care about is diminished into sexual projections.

You might find it hard to reveal the true depth of your philosophical or adventurous side, feeling boxed into a role others have created for you. You could find yourself over-explaining or pulling back from sharing ideas at all.

Continue to seek intellectual, philosophical, and physical expansion in your life, but focus on doing it in a way that isn't limited by the projections of others. Reclaim your place as an explorer and learner without needing to fit into a mold others make for you.

♑ Lilith in the 10th House Capricorn

With Lilith in the 10th house, your public image, career, and reputation might get sexualized or reduced to how attractive or enticing you are in the public eye. There’s an intense energy that others sense, and some will focus only on the surface level—either deeming you a “sex symbol” or feeling threatened by your power. I have a friend who’s had similar experiences with Lilith here, where her sexuality was too often emphasized—sometimes by her family, others by society—leaving her struggling to find a way to separate herself from this imposed persona. Despite being talented and multifaceted, others often ignore these attributes, reducing her to a sexualized image.

You may feel frustration with the duality between the image people project onto you and who you really are. The constant struggle to have your full professional capabilities seen without your sexuality being the focus can be draining.

To cope, you might overcompensate by embodying this sexualized image more overtly online or offline, or you may go in the opposite direction and try to downplay your looks and focus solely on your work.

Set clear boundaries with your career and public life. Focus on presenting all the facets of yourself and refuse to be confined to only one. Let your true capabilities define you, not the projections others place on your image.

♒ Lilith in the 11th House Aquarius

Lilith in the 11th house means your presence in social groups and communities often comes with a layer of misinterpretation. People might see you as someone who “stirs the pot” in group settings, whether through your attractiveness, rebellious nature, or just by existing outside of the norm. You might be put in a position where your friendships are subtly (or not so subtly) sexualized, either by others assuming romantic or sexual undertones in your platonic relationships or by social circles treating you like an object of intrigue.

From what I’ve observed, this placement can create situations where people feel weirdly possessive over you in group settings. Friends might project their own insecurities onto you, assuming you must be manipulative, seductive, or disruptive just because of how others react to you. There can also be themes of exclusion—perhaps being ostracized or resented for something that isn’t even your fault.

Friendships can feel complicated. Either people try to control you, define you by your sexuality in group dynamics, or make you out to be a “bad influence.” Sometimes it feels like no matter what you do, there’s an energy that people react strongly to, whether positive or negative.

You might distance yourself from social groups to avoid dealing with all of the drama, or you could lean into your rebellious nature and embrace the fact that you shake things up. There can also be a feeling of wanting to prove that you’re more than the assumptions people make about you.

Focus on friendships and community that truly respect you for who you are beyond any projections. Not everyone will misunderstand you, and it’s okay to be selective with who you surround yourself with. Work on reinforcing your boundaries so that you aren’t constantly put in unfair situations.

♓ Lilith in the 12th House Pisces

This is one of the most hidden yet potent Lilith placements. You might not always be overtly sexualized in obvious ways, but there’s a deep, underlying energy that people pick up on. There can be projections placed upon you without you even realizing it, often behind closed doors or in secret conversations. Some may find you irresistibly mysterious or even dangerous without a clear reason why. Your presence lingers in people’s subconscious, sometimes making them uncomfortable.

This placement makes me think of someone who unknowingly impacts others on a psychological level. People might develop secret infatuations or fixate on you in ways that even you don’t fully grasp. It’s like you move through life feeling somewhat unseen, yet somehow, you’re always affecting people on a level beyond your awareness. People may make assumptions about you without real evidence, particularly in environments like hospitals, institutions, or spiritual communities where secrecy or hidden power is involved.

You might struggle with feeling misunderstood in ways that don’t make sense to you. You could go through experiences of being scapegoated, vilified, or treated as if you’re carrying some sort of “forbidden” energy. People may want to project their desires onto you in secret, which can feel invasive or confusing, especially if you don't know where these emotions are coming from.

Some with this placement retreat into isolation, feeling like it’s safer to remain unseen than to deal with others’ projections. Others might unknowingly fall into roles that confirm what people already assume about them, even if it wasn’t their intent. The struggle here is often about untangling other people’s hidden expectations and seeing yourself clearly.

Find ways to ground yourself in your own sense of identity, separate from what others secretly think or expect of you. Therapy, dream journaling, and shadow work can be powerful tools for unraveling hidden fears or subconscious influences in your life. Recognizing when you’re being scapegoated or unfairly projected upon is crucial, and learning to set firm energetic boundaries will protect your peace.

Do any of these descriptions resonate with you? I’d love to hear about your experiences, especially if you have Lilith in the 5th or 7th house—those are placements I don’t personally have much insight into, so feel free to share your thoughts!

[leyavo]

Wife/girlfriend series, I wanted to do some more for the other TF 141 guys after doing Ghost’s, Gaz & Soap. John Price is much older than the others and a bit set his ways….

[masterlist] [Wife/Gf masterlist]

Price is on his third wife, you.

The last one bled him dry in the divorce, but that still didn’t put him off marriage.

His family not bothered to get to know you as much as the first and second wife. As if they know you’ll get fed up with him and his ways.

You can tell why he hasn’t had any luck with women. The man is terrible at doing laundry, grumbles to himself instead of talking and smokes like a chimney. Set in his ways, he finds it hard to break away from it.

“Breath of fresh air, darling,” he says to you as you chuck his dirty laundry at him.

“Clean your own crap, I’m not your maid or your mother!” You snapped, taking the cigar from his lips and smushing the end into the ashtray.

John Price just kept pushing and pushing, liking that you set boundaries with him and unintentionally made him get his shit together. He loves it when you tell him what to do.

You never wanted him to change, just wanted him to get a grip on his life.

“I have a career too, I might not be a bloody captain, but what I do matters too.” You work for a social impact company, helping young kids and teens going through poverty in your county. The same kindness John loves as he watches you interact with the people around you.

You were once that kid, struggling to get by and caring for your mother. The one thing you didn’t want, was for everything to fall on you like it did as a kid. You’re firm with it, telling John exactly how it felt. How his actions made you feel.

Well you did break up briefly, only for him to come crawling back. He still has his moments, a little mopey and lazy whenever he’s back from a long mission, but that’s normal.

He likes that you understand his vulnerability, likes the way you whisper that he is safe and protected whenever a nightmare tears him awake. It’s small quiet moments where he loves you most. The brush of your fingers over his knuckles or you palm over his chest as he tries to catch his breath. The way you giggle as his beard and moustache tickle your neck as he kisses you there.

And John gives you a home, security. One thing no one else has. The reassurance that there’s always food stocked up in the fridge and a set schedule for the heating to come on when the temperature drops. That if you can’t do something he’ll help you do it. So nothing has to be on just your shoulders.

Helps you down at the soup kitchen now and again when he’s back home, cleaning all the dishes so that your hands don’t get a rash from the washing up gloves. Little things that make your heart swell.

How he learnt how to knit during the autumn, so he can help you make hats for the homeless. It helps him distress, sometimes even does it in his room back at base to wind down. Currently knitting you some socks too.

Even in charge of the laundry when he comes home, loves the scent of detergent that he grumbles when it’s discontinued and he has to get used to another.

“Bloody found it.” The first thing John says to you as he unpacks his gear. Accidentally letting slip where he was stationed and how he got the discontinued detergent in another country.

And when you ask why he can’t just let it go. “Smells like you, darling.” He’s liked it since the first time you did his washing. Reminds him of home when he puts his civilian clothes back on, always a set put to the side for him to wear home.

When you meet the guys you’re surprised about the dynamic. How John easily gets them to listen and lay down the rules before they enter the house. Shoes come off straight away etc. no smoking indoors but on the patio outside. Watch out for the two chihuahuas running about the house and check underneath the blankets before you sit on the sofa.

One particular chihuahua not moving from Simon’s lap, that he stays in the armchair for ages till the dog wakes up. Johnny and Kyle telling you the most embarrassing stories of the captain, that one time his trousers split in an important briefing and no one told him, but everyone noticed. John doesn’t mind though as he likes the sound of your laugh.

[dwaekkicidal]

Nonsexual Dominance with SKZ

wc» 1.1k

cw» gender neutral, d/s dynamics, dom!skz & sub!reader, trad!minho, sfw but some people might see some things as controlling or toxic- it's not meant to be and this is based off a MUTUAL agreement + set boundaries. if you dont like dont interact <3

txt version

DO NOT republish or translate+post my work!

𝙱𝚊𝚗𝚐 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗

Makes you send him food pics regularly. On days where you genuinely don't want to, he won't push it, but for the most part he enforces it and will be upset if you don't send a pic. And this is only really because it means you didn't eat.

He loves it not only for the obvious reason of watching over you even when he's not around, but also because it reminds him to also eat. All those hours in the studio blur and it's only a matter of time before he completely loses track of time- but you and your meals are there to remind him :)

𝙻𝚎𝚎 𝙺𝚗𝚘𝚠

Ok hear me out, traditional husband!minho... If you don't want it, he won't push it but it works so well,,, If it's far enough into the relationship that the trust comes naturally, he'd sit you down to discuss your opinions on you staying at home all day and quitting your job and putting all the financial burden on him- because he wants that responsibility. He wants to take care of you so extremely.

The pleasure dom in him comes out specifically outside of the bedroom. He absolutely loves cooking for you and spoiling you with extravagant dinners & expensive gifts, and he loves just holding you close just because he can, but he expects you to do everything else in the house- or at least most of it. While he's willing to compromise certain chores, he wants to come home to the house being clean and clothes being washed and all that.

But he always makes it worth your while and spoils you rotten :( Cuddles you until you're absolutely sick of him (not) and tries to take you out on regular dates to spoil you (like while shopping at the mall or taking you out to a nice dinner)

𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚋𝚒𝚗

Might sound kind of weird but hear me out- him telling you "no." I think Chris is one that would love to do this but has NO self control and therefore can't bring himself to unless he absolutely has to lol. But Changbin thrives off of it.

Don't get him wrong- he looves to spoil you. But he also loves that little spark in your eyes when you bat your eyelashes at him so prettily and ask him for something- only for you to get a gentle but firm "no" that makes your bottom lip puff out. & It's not that he doesn't want you to have whatever this thing is, it's more so that he knows there's a limit to being spoiled and no matter how much he loves you, you both need an occasional humbling- and he feels like you both could use a soft reminder of who let who have all the control

He'll always make up for it with sweet kisses and maybe a little tickling to make your pout go away, but his chest puffs out a little every time he gets to tell you "no"

𝙷𝚢𝚞𝚗𝚓𝚒𝚗

Is the kind to having his hand on your body at all times, if you're more than an arms length away from him you'll be getting a certain look that discreetly reads "Get over here now." Sometimes will even curl his finger up in your direction- doesn't care if somebody is watching or even if he's in the middle of talking/an important conversation

He just likes to have you close, and he knows he needs that mental grounding that you offer more often than not. He's just confident about needing it, so he's not afraid to show everybody how much he loves you and needs you by his side

That being said, he will lead you around malls, museums, grocery stores, or hell even the other boy's apartments all with his hand either intertwined with yours or on some part of your body (usually your lower back) that lets him guide you around.

𝙷𝚊𝚗

He felt a little awkward at first bringing this up to you, but now that it's become a regular part of your routine, he lives for these moments: he loves when you sit pretty on his lap and shave his face for him. It's gotten to the point where he will refuse to shave himself at all for weeks on end if you aren't able to do it for him.

It makes him feel a bit more dominant than it should? considering he will see you have free time and point out that he needs a shave- which usually has you dropping everything to go do it for him. But he also sees it as him being loyal to you and you having an equal amount of "control" on his life. (Also you will catch him dead before you catch him complaining about his lover sitting in his lap for any amount of time lol)

Generally just domestic little acts of service that let him "command" you while also letting you have control over his life (that's really only obvious to you two, but that's more than enough for him)

𝙵𝚎𝚕𝚒𝚡

Doesn't realize he likes it right away, but he loves to talk for you with strangers. He loves to order your food for you, order your coffee for you (sometimes even mobile ordering it so you don't have to talk to people if he's not available), carrying your clothes for you while you shop and being the one talking at the cash register- stuff like that.

Not only does this scratch that little dom itch in the back of his head because he's taking care of you while still being in "charge", but it also allows him to spoil the hell out of you with you knowing how much money he's spending on you lol. You get to sit pretty at his side and look at/play with the little trinkets by the register while he drops literal hundreds on you with a smile on his face.

𝚂𝚎𝚞𝚗𝚐𝚖𝚒𝚗

Sorry not sorry but he loves his non sexual punishments. No matter what you do in or out of the bedroom, he can and will find a way to punish you for it without having to lay a finger on you.

One of his favorites is making you write a sentence down over and over again. Kinda cliché "teacher" punishment but it usually gets his point across and prevents you from acting out (for like a week max lol). If he's particularly annoyed at you/frustrated he will make you write it in Korean & wont translate it for you more than once lol.

Another one he really likes is making you kneel on the floor instead of on the couch. He's not really huge on forbidding you from watching tv unless you want him to go that far, but you're not gonna be allowed to sit on the soft, comfy couch- you're gonna be kneeling on the floor, most likely by his leg so you can still cuddle up to him (he'll grant you a small pillow if it's a longer punishment)

𝙸.𝙽

Jeongin loves picking your outfits and your accessories for you. He's not usually too dominant out of the bedroom otherwise, and it's very rare that he is, but this is the main way he is.

Even before you two lived together, he would text you a grossly sweet good morning message and would include a comment about how you should send him a few outfits for him to choose from you to wear. But now that you guys are living together, he takes it upon himself to pick out an outfit for you while you're still in bed or in the bathroom waking up.

Taglist: (red=can't be tagged)

@valkyriexo @lunearta @jabmastersupriseee @rylea08

@yaorzu-blog @amararosesblog @jiminssluttyminx @clemissleepy

@miss-daisy04 @kittyxnoa @dwaekkiiracha @honeyybbuubblleess

@mariteez @fun-fanfics @honeyybbuubblleess @kittycatkrissa

@nicora04 @chuuyaobsessed @moonlightndaydreams @velvetmoonlght

@aeri-skzver

[holdmytesseract]

One Night or Forever?

Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Summary: When one thing leads to another, you and Daryl spend a passionate night together at the CDC. Unfortunately, neither of you is interpreting the signals right afterwards...

Warnings: 18+! MDNI! smut (not entirely graphic, but it's definitely there - like, you know exactly what's going on), uhhh sub and dom Daryl? unprotected rough-ish sex? Daryl gets a bj (yes, you read that right), he's a bit mean, too - but also a cutie patootie, uhh slight angst? bit of drama, alcohol - drunk-ish Daryl and tipsy reader, fluff, swear words, bickering

Set in Season 1!

Word Count: 4,5k

a/n: You want it, you got it, friends. I don't know what this is, though - or which demons possessed me as I wrote it. I really don't. I also don't know how I should feel about it. Embarrassed? Proud? Send help, lol.

Anyways, I hope you like this! Please go easy on me. Smut isn't really my forte...

EoH Masterlist °☆• LITRM Masterlist °☆• Daryl Masterlist °☆• Masterlist

"Booyah!"

Daryl's toast had been the starting shot for an evening full of conversation, fun, laughter - and alcohol. Some would say reams of alcohol. Wine, booze, beer - you and the group stopped at nothing. That was probably the reason why everyone staggered somewhere on a scale between tipsy and shit faced drunk at the end of the evening.

You were currently on your way to your personal room - something you'd describe as a luxury. Sure, back at the quarry you had your own tent, but there was a huge difference between that and a whole goddamn room. With a own freaking shower! It was crazy. Who would've thought that something so plain and simple would become such a valued, precious thing? Most likely nobody, because it was something taken for granted.

Well... Not anymore. Not since the world went to shit.

After passing a very drunk Glenn on the way, you more or less stumbled into your room. Tipsy... You were definitely tipsy. Without a single care in the world, you started to shed your clothes the moment the door shut close behind you. All you wanted to do was sleep. You had too much alcohol coursing through your veins to search for something you could use as a pyjama. You hadn't a problem with sleeping naked. Not tonight.

Unfortunately had your plan a catch... One that you weren't aware of yet.

This wasn't your room.

You were just about to free your body of the last piece of fabric you were wearing - a pair of admittedly beautiful dark blue lace panties, when a sudden voice managed to almost send you into cardiac arrest.

"Wha' the fuck 'r ya doin' in my room?!"

You startled so bad, that you almost lost balance and fell flat on your ass. Your balance was a bit off-track anyways, due to the wine...

With wide eyes you turned around to face the intruder.

"Daryl?"

You blinked. "What are you doing here?" He scoffed; his cheeks puffed out and reddened. He had been drinking way more than you did, and it showed. The archer's hands were fumbling clumsily with the fly of his jeans. "Jus' been taken a damn piss, 'n 'm comin' back to find ya standin' in my room." You crossed your arms over your bare - an information which hadn't reached Daryl's brain yet - chest. "This is clearly my room, Dixon." He scoffed again. "'S not!" "Yes, it is!" "'S not!" The man took a few wobbly steps closer. "Go bullshit someone else, I-" He stopped abruptly in the middle of his sentence; eyes widening to the size of plates. Now the information had been received and processed.

"Yer almost naked," he stated; bluntly staring.

Oh, you suddenly realised and remembered as well. He was right.

In any other situation, you'd have frantically tried to cover yourself up and perhaps even threw an insult at the man standing across from you, but the alcohol lowered your boundary of shame and loosened you up; making you see things more relaxed.

You huffed out a breath. "Yeah, no shit, Sherlock." Daryl still blinked and tried very hard to not let his eyes drop, but that was an almost impossible task for the alcoholized man. "Why?" You shrugged your shoulders. "'Cause I wanted to go to sleep." The archer swallowed hard. "In my room? Naked? Ya lost yer damn mind, woman?" "It's my room," your tipsy self was still profoundly convinced, while you made your way over to the bed on slightly wobbly legs. Daryl just watched you; flabbergasted, speechless, shocked - and incredibly turned on. After all, he had a damn pretty woman in his room - no, bed. Half naked!

"You could join me, Dixon." He scoffed again and tried to walk in a straight line over to the armchair; accepting his fate. "In yer damn dreams. 'S ain't gonna help me - or my hard-on." You giggled at his words like a schoolgirl and rolled around in the sheets. "That the reason why you can't get that zipper up? You like me, Daryl? Like what you see?" You pestered him with questions; smirking, and watched his cheeks redden even more - if that was physically possible and your eyes didn't betray you. "Shuddup," Daryl just growled in response. You giggled again, before a long beat of silence passed between the both of you.

The alcohol didn't just lower your boundary of shame... It also caused you to become bolder. "I could help you with that, you know..." You tried to sound as flirty and seductive as possible and turned in the sheets once more, but now to face the man sitting across from the bed. You perched yourself onto your stomach and crossed your ankles in the air; swaying your legs.

Gods, you felt like a teenager again. Damn the alcohol and your crush on the archer. It was a dangerous combination, since you hadn't planned to actually act on said crush. Well, and here you were now in his - nu.uh, your - bed, almost naked and trying to seduce him.

Some might say this escalated quickly...

"Help me with wha'?" The archer finally responded after a long moment; dumbfounded. His usually very smart and witty brain slowed down by the alcohol. You thought for a hot minute that he had already fallen asleep on you. You rolled your eyes and groaned - acting like Daryl just said the stupidest thing in the world. "Your boner," you deadpanned - as if it was the most normal thing to say.

The archer swallowed hard; feeling his chest (and pants) tightening.

"Wha'?" He crooked out. The normally so talkative, glibly redneck seemingly rendered speechless by your boldness.

Once again, you rolled your eyes. "Do you reaaaaally want me to spell it out for you, D?" Daryl clearly needed a moment to recover, but once he did, he scoffed.

"Pf, yer bluffin'."

"I'm not."

"Yeah, ya 'r."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, ya 'r. Can tell. Yer way to innocent fer shit like tha', sunshine."

"Are you challenging me, Dixon?"

"Nah, jus' statin' facts."

Now you were the one who scoffed. He really asked for it, didn't he? You smirked and hid your face in the blanket beneath you. Oh, you were so going to prove him wrong.

You rolled your barely covered body around a third time, but this time to get up from the bed - which was a much more difficult task than expected, but you made it in the end - even though not gracefully and certainly not seductively. "Facts, huh?" You asked the crossbow-wielding archer then with a raised eyebrow and your hands on your hips. He crossed his arms over his plaid beige-brown shirt clad chest; bare forearms and biceps bulging with the movement. "Yes, facts." Although he stared into your eyes with his blue coloured irises, he still had a hard time for them to actually stay on your face.

"Well, you can go screw your opinions - or me. Your choice, pretty boy," you stated and shrugged your shoulders as you bridged the short distance between the bed and the armchair. Before the younger Dixon could even do as much as open his mouth for a snarky respond, you had dropped to your knees in front of him - between his manspread legs.

Daryl's eyes widened and his jaw slacked. "Wha' 'r ya doin'?!" He literally screeched and gripped the armrests of the armchair. "Proofing you wrong, pretty boy." You smiled up at him like a Cheshire cat; hands and fingers clumsily trying to open his jeans. "F-Fuckin' hell, wha'?! Yer insane, woman!" The archer cursed above you, but also didn't make any moves to stop you. So, you took that as a sign to continue. And continuing you did...

It took you a hot minute to get your eye-hand coordination straight and overcome the obstacles which were his jeans and boxers, but once you did, there was no holding back. "Ya really gonna do th- F-Fuck..."

You did.

"Told you, Dixon," you stated with a mischievous glimmer in your eyes; hands firmly cupping him. Daryl answered nothing. The archer had a hard time to control his breathing and rapidly beating heart. He was still gripping the armrests like a vice - his knuckles already turning white. He really couldn't believe this was happening right now. Was he asleep and dreaming? Was he hallucinating? Did the wine manage to fog up his brain so much that his eyes were deceiving him? But when he felt your lips wrap around him, he instantly threw all those thoughts overboard again. This was real. It had to be real. After all, he was feeling it, right?

"F-Fuckin' hell," he cursed again; feeling waves of pleasure crash over him. One of his hands loosened its grip on the armrest and went in your hair instead - tying your loose hair into a makeshift ponytail. You were already too far gone to care; the taste of him addictive.

Working your magic, you tried to grant the man above you as much pleasure as possible - and it seemed to work. Within a few minutes, Daryl was a whimpering mess - a side you'd never thought you were ever going to see of him. Not in your wildest dreams.

"Ain't... Ain't g-gonna last," the archer panted breathlessly; the hand in your hair twitching. You didn't want him to. You wanted him to fall apart. A gentle squeeze of your hand was all it took. "Y-Y/N, damnit, 'm gon'- Gonna cu-" His sentence got interrupted by a low moan that paved its way to the forefront of his lips. The hand in your hair twitched again as he attempted to pull you off him. You didn't let him, though, and easily dodged his lousy attempt. Instead, you helped him ride the wave. His thighs twitched; muscles tensing as his high crashed into him. Daryl felt like he had been hit by an eighteen-wheeler - but in the best way possible. It had been so long...

The gentle grip he had of your hair slackened; hand falling limply to his side. You lifted your head to look at him to witness his blissed-out state. Daryl's eyes were closed, and his breathing laboured. You smiled; hands gently caressing his clothed thighs. "You believe me now, D?" He gave you a mere nod. Clearly he needed another few moments to get his head straight again. Your smile never ceased as you kept up your fingers movements. Your knees protested by now, but you didn't care.

Another few moments passed, before the archer peeled his eyes open again. Seeing you still on your knees for him managed to send another shockwave of arousal throughout his entire body.

Wide-blown eyes stared at you intensely; the gears turning in his fogged up head.

"T-Thanks, I guess," he whispered then. His voice was still hoarse. You smiled up at him. "You're welcome, pretty boy. Said I'm gonna help you." Daryl nodded almost shyly and clumsily stuffed himself back inside his boxers. You eyed him thoroughly and started to giggle. "Didn't think you'd loose it so fast. Wouldn't have pecked you to be a... premature guy." Not that it mattered to you, but you couldn't help yourself but to tease him a bit. It was meant to be a playful comment, but you seemed to hit a sore spot...

You could practically see how his eyes darkened, before he narrowed them. "Whatcha say, huh?" He asked in a gruff voice and stood up; towering over you. You blinked - were a bit taken aback by the sudden shift in his demeanour. "I-I, uh... Said I didn't think you'd be one t-to, uh, come too early..." The archer growled under his breath. "Ya better watch yer mouth, sunshine," he said in a threatening tone and grabbed your arms to pull you up on your feet. Daryl quickly noticed, though, that his legs were even more wobbly now that they've already been before; forcing him to take cautious steps. "What are we doing, pretty boy? You gonna make me pay for saying that?" You gave another sassy remark; provoking him and tickling his nerve ends even further. A grunt passed his chapped lips as he dragged you with him. Once close to the bed, he wrapped his arms firmly around your bare midsection and literally threw you onto the bed - wobbly legs be damned. You giggled at his eagerness and slid upwards to rest your head on one of the pillows; giving the man a confident look. "C'mon then, pretty boy, show me what you got. I know you want to." He scoffed and crawled on the bed. "Pretty boy my ass." You just giggled again. You felt intoxicated by the wine you had consumed and definitely aroused - which got only worse when you felt calloused, deft hands gripping your delicate skin. Daryl parted your legs and settled on his knees between them. His eyes were directed on your face. He looked like a predator - ready to attack his prey. It was incredibly hot.

"'M gonna shut tha' sassy mouth 'a yers, just ya wait," he growled in a deep voice, and wrapped his arms and hands around your thighs like a snake - holding them firmly and simultaneously keeping you splayed open for him, before he literally yanked you down; bringing your hips closer to his.

Your breath hitched in your throat at his sudden movement and the upcoming anticipation.

His fingertips danced over the skin on your hips then - and suddenly got your dark blue lace panties ripped into shreds.

"Daryl!" You shrieked, then gasped. "Those were my favourites, I-" "'S jus' a damn piece 'a fabric. Dun be such a crybaby," he interrupted you; instantly putting you in your place. Your mouth clapped shut. This was yet another new side of him. Sure, you knew he was hotheaded, but he literally just went from kinda submissive to dominant within the blink of an eye. Was it the alcohol? Or truly his temper?

The clinking of his belt ripped you out of your thoughts. Some shuffling and the rustling of fabric was the only premonition you got, before you felt him against your hot and pulsating center. Your hips instantly bucked; trying to get closer.

More friction.

More pleasure.

More of Daryl.

The archer hovering above you scoffed. "Look how needy ya are. Dun even hafta prepare ya." You could see the corners of his mouth twitching into a small smirk. "Tis all jus' from gettin' me off, huh?" You nodded and bit your lip. Daryl on the contrary shook his head, "Yer tha' desperate? Pf... Pathetic." and lined himself up, before hitting home.

Stars exploded in front of your eyes as his hips met yours. The most sinful moan the archer had ever heard in his life slipped past your lips; only spurring him on more. He picked up a firm, steady pace - leaving you a mess beneath him barely within a few minutes. Just what you did to him.

Revenge was sweet, wasn't it?

His precise, powerful thrusts carried you from one high to the next - and Daryl enjoyed it. He loved to see you fall apart beneath him. And this time, he was the one lasting longer. "Who's commin' too soon now, huh? 'S not me, sunshine. Told ya I'd shut tha' sassy mouth 'a yers," he growled lowly; slowing his pace to just give you a few moments of recovery. You moaned at the sheer endless pleasure he granted you. Your hands gripped his thick arms like a vice after he had planted both palms firmly in the mattress beside your head to gain more leverage. "F-Fuck, Daryl," you whimpered; fingernails digging into his sweaty biceps. "I know. Jus' one more, 'kay? Can ya give me one more?" You nodded wordlessly. "Good girl," the archer praised and picked up his speed once again; pulling another sweet moan alongside some incoherent noises from you.

Your hands travelled. They left his arms to rest on his chest, where they fisted the fabric of his plaid shirt with the ripped off sleeves. The fabric held a darkened stain - a puddle of sweat formed on his chest.

Your hands continued to fist his shirt, as you pulled - an attempt to undo a few buttons. But once the archer noticed what your mission was, he stopped dead in his movements. "Nah, dun do tha'," he scolded you instantly and peeled your hands away from the fabric covering his upper body. "W-Why?" You asked breathlessly; not understanding his sudden mood shift. "'"Cause I told ya to!" He snapped.

Just in that moment, you realised that you must've hit another sore spot... But this time one that actually seemed to get to him. Not one that managed to turn him on.

"S-Sorry, D-Daryl, I-" You immediately apologised, but got interrupted once more. "Keep holdin' on ta my arms, if yer need sum'thin' to hold on to." His voice was gruff, but way more soft than a few moments ago. The archer redirected your hands and placed them once more around his sweaty biceps. Without another word, he continued where he left off, causing your grip to instantly tighten. "There ya go," he praised you again and readjusted your legs with his thighs. Just the slight change of angle was enough to send you a third time over the edge. This time, though, you dragged him right with you.

A broken sound - close to a cry, left the man's lips as he pulled out and coated the supple skin of your stomach with his release. A single droplet of sweat rolled down his neck as he threw his head back in ecstasy. It was a sight to behold. A sight you might never forget for the rest of your life - no matter how long your life was going to be.

A few moments later collapsed Daryl on the mattress beside you. He was clearly spent. Perhaps this had been something you both needed. Who knew?

"Imma take a shower," the archer announced after a while and left the bed - but not before gentleman-like wiping the mess he made on your stomach away with his hand. Without another word, he left, while you just laid there - still naked and staring at the ceiling; recalling in your mind what just happened. The sex managed to sober you up a bit. Did that really just happen? Had you been dreaming this?

You heard the water run, but not how Daryl returned to the room and settled down for the night in the armchair. You had ventured off to dreamland at some point.

To say the next morning was awkward was an absolute understatement. Awkward was not even remotely enough to describe the vibe between the both of you.

When you woke up again, the archer was nowhere to be seen. Now sober, you left the bed, picked up your clothes, noticed that you truly were - in fact in his room, and tiptoed butt naked down the hallway into your room. Luckily nobody had seen you. That would've been scandalous, right?

Your luck was also that everybody was quite hungover from last night. Some more, some less. Therefore noticed nobody the way you and Daryl acted around each other.

You could barely manage to look into his eyes.

You felt ashamed; thinking that you pushed him too far yesterday night. Thinking, that you were too bold and unable to control your damn feelings. Thinking that you pushed him away, instead of drawing him in. You anticipated that the archer must hate you now - and you couldn't even blame him...

Nevertheless seemed a conversation inevitable. You didn't want to destroy the friendship - if you could even call it that - the both of you had before last night.

It took you days to bite the bullet and ask him to talk, though. Sure, you had been on the road again since the CDC was a dead end, but that wasn't an excuse in your eyes.

"D-Daryl?" You approached him cautiously as you found him alone in the stables of the Greene farm; saddling a horse to go looking for Sophia. "Whatcha want?" He asked you and gave you a short look. You swallowed nervously. "Can we, uh, can we talk?" "'Bout wha'?" You watched him work for a moment, while your fingers fumbled with the hem of your t-shirt; trying to gather all the courage you could find. "That, uh, night at the CDC..." Your words came out as a whisper, but Daryl heard them nonetheless - and froze in all his tracks.

"Why'd ya wanna talk 'bout tha'?" He asked nonchalantly after a beat of silence and continued his work; had seemingly shaken off the small 'shock' quite quick. "I-I..." You started and sighed. "Things f-feel so weird between us since that n-night, and... I don't want that. I-I'm sorry for what I did. I'm s-sorry for making you sleep with me." Your eyes were stuck on him. You watched him and tried to gauge his reaction - afraid of what was going to happen.

"Yer sorry 'bout it?" Daryl asked then - almost in disbelief. Then he scoffed. "Do ya regret it?"

That was a question you didn't see coming. A question you haven't thought about yet. Did you regret it? Your memories took you back in time; letting you relive that night you shared with him. The answer was clear - as you quickly discovered.

"No, I don't, but... It was wrong. I shouldn't have-" "Wrong?" He interrupted you. His voice appalled. "Tha's what ya think 'bout this? 'Bout... us?" Daryl accused you with a grimace on his face. Was that... sadness you could detect in his blue orbs? Hurt?

You blinked; "U-Us?" were definitely confused by his words. "W-What do you mean 'us'?" "Ya know wha' I mean, Y/N." You shook your head. "No, Daryl. No, I don't. We've been practically ignoring each other since the CDC. We can't even talk properly! Neither of us can look into the other's eyes! Everything is just... weird, and you talk about an 'us'? No, I don't get it. Tell me. Explain it."

A frustrated huff left the archer's lips, before he started to gnaw at the pad of his thumb; averting your eyes. All of a sudden, the usually so confident redneck became all shy and insecure. "Dunno how," he started; merely shrugging his shoulders. "'S difficult, 'n I ain't good with words." "Try it, D," you encouraged him and gave him a soft smile. "Please. I want to make things right between us again." The archer nodded and took another moment - most likely to gather his thoughts. "'S tha' feeling, ya know? Can't pin it down. Always feelin' so strange whenever yer close to me."

Your heart skipped more than just one beat as his words urged to your ears. Could it be...? No...

"W-What do you feel? Can you... describe it?" Daryl lowered his gaze to the ground. The little stone laying beside his left foot suddenly became really interesting. "Jus' strange. Gets harder to breathe, 'n... My stomach's all messed up. Feels like an itch I can't scratch." You couldn't believe this was happening. Did that night cause Daryl to fall in love with you? "You're doing good, D. Keep going. What else?" You had to know.

He grunted; his foot playing with that little stone, before kicking it aimlessly over the concrete ground. "I... always go back to tha' night in my head. Can't forget it. Yer look. Yer touch. The way ya felt, I-" He stopped himself to take a deep breath. And you smiled. Perhaps having slept with him hadn't been a mistake. Perhaps you interpreted his behaviour wrong. Perhaps you just misread the signs...

"I jus' dunno how to act 'round ya. I dunno wha's happening to me. Tha's why I ain't talkin' to ya. Didn't mean to ignore ya..." Daryl apologised with his head still lowered.

You stepped closer to him and cautiously reached for his hand. He flinched, but didn't pull away. "Daryl, I... I think I know what happened to you," you whispered. "'N wha's tha'?" He asked; finally brave enough to lift his head to look into your eyes. You smiled and squeezed his hand. "I think you... are in love."

As quick as the man had lowered his guard, as quick was it up again.

He pulled his hand out of your grasp and scoffed, before he took a few steps back. "Pf. Love? Me? Tha's ridiculous, woman - 'n we both know it!" "Is it, yeah? You really think so?" "Yes!" He yelled, and wanted to rush past you - but you stopped him with your palm splayed on his chest. You didn't know if what your heart made you do was a wise decision, but it acted on its own will. Your head was powerless anyway.

Daryl's eyes travelled from yours to the hand on his chest and back. "Whatcha doin', woman?! Leave me the hell alo-" You had heard enough. You had held yourself back long enough. This was the only option you had left. It was do or die.

You cut the man off with standing on your tiptoes and connecting your lips to his. It was a chaste, gentle kiss - but nonetheless meaningful. It felt so right. So good. His lips so soft and warm - compared to his seemingly rough exterior. His blond-brown goatee tickled your skin in the best way possible.

Once more, Daryl froze to the ground; not moving a muscle.

When your lips left his again with a soft pop and you reopened your eyes, you could see how his eyelids fluttered slowly open as well. You could feel his heart galloping underneath your palm. "What do you feel now, Daryl?" You asked in a hushed tone. Your eyes never left his. The archer swallowed hard. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. "I-I-I..." He stammered out; his cheeks heating up. "G-Good," he croaked out. "R-Real good." You smiled - happy that your heart had made the right decision. "Wanna do it again?" He blinked. The tips of his ears got red as well. "I-If yer willin' t-to k-kiss me again?" Your smile even widened, before you reached up to cup his beardy, red cheeks in your palms to pull him into another kiss. Daryl gasped against your lips; eyes falling shut and lips following your lead. It caused the kiss to get more intimate. More demanding. More passionate.

His hands acted on their own will, as they settled on your waist and pulled you closer. Your body crashed against his. You could tell that he hadn't kissed a lot in his life; his movements clumsy and messy - but perfectly Daryl. And you loved it. You didn't care how experienced or skilled he was. All you cared about was him - and all the love he deserved you wanted to give him.

He was far from perfect; had his flaws - but so were you.

"What do you say now about love, pretty boy?" You asked in a playful, yet loving manner; your hands crossed behind his neck. Daryl's hands gently squeezed your sides, "Shuddup." before he dipped his head to indulge you into yet another kiss.

Yeah... He was definitely whipped.

Tags: @angelwings-crossbowstrings @belitoxx @fictive-sl0th @marvelcasey05 @loz-3 @whore4romance @stitchintimefan @bigbaldheadname @making-the-most-0f-it @erebus-et-eigengrau @km-ffluv @0-aubrie0 @sweetz1919 @mikaela-granger @secretsicanthideanymore @dilfdixon @txtttttttttttttt @dixons-sunshine @cakesandtom @mayday2007 @dixonsdarkelf @huntedmusicgardenn @ffsjustletmesleep

[mdsbabygirl]

Being their fuckbuddy

Pairing: Otoya Eita/Itoshi Sae/Bachira Meguru/Shidou Ryusei/Chigiri Hyoma/Barou Shouei x FEM!reader(separately)

Part2

Synopsis: you're currently emotionally unavailable, yet you still wanna satisfy your sexual urges.. so what do you do? You become fwb with these egoists

Note: I didn't proof read this, so that's why you may find mistakes or parts that are longer than others.

Cw: emotionally unavailable reader, very horny men(especially shidou ooff), womanizer/fuckboy/pegging/roleplays(otoya), views this relationship as purely transactional/hates gossip and rumors(sae), obsessive/simp(Bachira), straight up devil/ has a humiliation kink/kinda harassing ngl/sextape(shidou), very much in love/pussy drunk/simp n°2(chigiri), vengeful/has a superiority complex/he thinks he's your king lol(Barou)

Otoya:

•He's very pleased with this, liking your relationship very much.. he's a free man who likes women, so when you came up to him suggesting the idea, he couldn't deny you. Having such a pretty girl to fuck with no strings attached was hot af to him. He liked the idea of having fun with you in bed, getting to know you on such an intimate level, and the fact that this was in fact ephemeral, meaning he could get out of this whenever he wanted, made him very excited.

•he would come to your house many times a week, just straight up knocking at your door, flashing you one of his sexy smirks when you open the door. With his frame towering over yours, he'd look down at you with lust filled eyes, chasing you with his antics so you'll let him in and ravage you.

•Each encounter with him is very passionate, a unique experience where the both of you get to feel immense pleasure. Otoya would like to keep things fun and exciting, meaning you'd likely experiment with different positions, techniques and scenarios. The both of you had tried everything really, ranging from him fucking and bending you in every position possible, you roleplaying as a little bunny or fox for him, to even pegging... Oh damn he really did enjoy that, the feeling of being dommed by you made him a different kind of tingles down there, the kind that he would love to feel again once you meet up for another encounter.

Sae:

•i think sae would enjoy this kind of relationship too, since it means he won't have to stray much from soccer. Your little link is purely and entirely transactional, you both give each other pleasure and that's it, then everyone goes his separate ways. Sae is known to have a very busy life, meaning he would want to waste time on a gf, that he'd most likely neglect. So in order to spare a poor girl this pain, he'd rather get fwb so that way he can satisfy his urges, without caring about the aftermath.

•Sae would be very strict during the times he meets you, he required you to have no phone, no camera and no recorder whatsoever whenever the two of you meet, he wouldn't want rumors about his personal life spreading around like a wildfire, which is why secrecy means a lot to him. He'd often arrange your meetings at some hotel, avoiding doing it in either of your houses for the reasons mentioned before, that's why all of your fucking sessions happen at luxurious suites or extravagant penthouses.

•whenever Sae fucks you, it's heavenly. He made sure that the two of you are on the same page, setting clear boundaries, and making sure your wants are aligned. His fucking style would be deliberate, going straight to the point, making sure the both of you get the most out of this experience. That's why he wouldn't waste a single second in putting you on all fours, forcefully thrusting behind you so that you're seeing stars and moaning so slutty loud.

Bachira:

•oh man, Bachira is excited beyond imagination at the thought of having such relationship with you. Not only is he such a sucker for good sex but also he's a simp for you. I reckon he'd like having you, touching and pleasuring you, enjoying every second he spends thrusting inside you.. He's never had such an intimate link with someone, so all the freshness this relationship brings to his life, makes him look forward to every one of your encounters.

•Though I think the "no strings attached" part of your relationship would kinda piss him off. I mean, since it would be his first time experiencing something like this, he'd grow somewhat fond of you, getting easily attached and even possessive of you. He'd always want to be by your side, even if it's not in a sexual context, which makes you think he's cute. Still, you remind him whatever you have is purely transactional and it shouldn't spiral into something bigger. He'd always brush you off, pretending to understand and agree with you, while deep inside he'd be thinking about a way to finally make you his.. maybe he could poke holes in the condom next time you meet.. he doesn't know yet, but he will make you his one way or another.

•As for the sex with this man, I think it's be a very funny yet exhilarating experience. Bachira is known for his creativity, meaning he'd always find a way to ignite a new spark to your already interesting sex life. He could do this by exploiting his oral skills, using his destrous tongue to lap at your soaked folds, sucking on your swollen clit, to make you writhe and shake under his touch, or even use his cock.. he'd hold your head in place, using your throat as his fucktoy as he'd play around with the remote of the little vibrator that is pushed deep inside your dripping wet cunt..

Shidou:

•ok this man.. pure filth.. things might've started just as a one nightstand but they quickly spiraled into something way freakier. This man is not only horny, but he's also very um.. unique? I mean, he didn't verbally tell you to be his fwb, he just started showing up at your door frequently, entering your house as if it was his, sitting on the large sofa of your living room, telling you to "come please your demon.." umm.. ok Ryusei, IG the only thing that saves you is your hotness paired with your cock size.. fine with me. So that's how you'd always end up in shidou's lap, legs squished against your chest as his big fat cock bullies its way into your sopping wet cunt. Yeah getting fucked like this in your living room was a very frequent if not daily occurrence.

•since I mentioned earlier that this man is indeed a sex addicted devil, it means that he'd follow you around everywhere, if he doesn't find you at home for your daily sassy time sesh, he'd go out to look for you, and once he finds you, he'd have no shame in just pointing out the fact that you ditched your "date", shidou went as far as to point that out in front of your friends, humiliating you in the worst way possible. After managing to get you home someday, he'd squeeze the plump flesh of your ass, whispering seducingly in your ear, how horny it had made him humiliating you in front of everyone..

•Ryusei would most likely fuck you in the freakiest, most mind-blowing ways. He'd be big on making you go dumb on his dick, reducing you to putty in his hands, and making your mind go blank from all the pleasure he's making you feel. I feel like shidou would also like to film your sexy times, insisting that having a camera pointed at him during such an intimate moment makes his duck ten times harder.. you don't deny him, since this bullshit he's into is kinda hot too.. so whenever your sucking him off, taking his whole length down your tight throat, or riding him like there's no tomorrow while your ass bounces on his fat cock, all while he's moaning like the most slutty pornstar and babbling filthy nonsense.. his little camera is there to record each second of your shared sins..

Chigiri:

•once he laid eyes on you, chigiri felt a burning lust igniting within him, a surging need for your body that left him so needy and starved for your touch. He was so relieved when he finally got to have you, the feeling of your skin on his, the feeling of your tongue on him and your warm wet pussy on his dick was way too addicting.. he wanted more, he wanted to have you more and more each time he got to fuck you. Chigiri didn't consider himself the type to get a fuckbuddy, always opting for a traditional relationship where he could have a living gf he'd love ve and cherish.. but not this time. This time, it was his dick that thought for him, his impeding greed taking over his rationality, making him fall in a dark pitch where only your body was his only salvation.

•chigiri wouldn't mind dating you, really, I mean you're totally his type, plus you're so good at sex, as you always make him feel like he's reaching heaven with how much pleasure you make him feel.; but alas, he doesn't know you enough and since you told him that you wanted no strings attached he couldn't do anything about this anymore. He just had to grip at whatever y'all had, and not let it go no matter what happened. He wasn't possessive, always respecting your boundaries, but deep inside he couldn't deny the lingering feeling of wanting you to be fully his, the endless scenarios of how his life would be if you were more than just his fuck buddy.. yet again, he'd always let those thoughts sink deep within his conciousness, opting that keeping whatever y'all have was better than nothing at all.

•chigiri was so passionate and romantic during sex. His intimate touches, and soft gestures always made you blush and quiver under him so vulnerably. You'd always ask why he'd be so gentle w you, but he'd always smile softly, caressing your face, saying that that's how pretty ladies should be treated.. still, this doesn't mean he couldn't just bend you in whichever position he saw fit and fuck you till you saw stars. In fact, whenever chigiri was very horny, especially after any matches or training, he'd pound you so mercilessly, the fast and rough pace of his thrusts made you so weak in the limbs, making him hold you close to his body, kissing your neck and shoulders as he felt your pussy clench around his cock, milking him of all he's worth, "ahh I'm so close" he'd whimper, biting down on your shoulder..

Barou:

•Barou didn't like one night stands or this fwb trope, he really didn't; or at least that's what he told himself.. it was until he net you that he thought, maybe he could make a little exeption. He did try at first to win you over, doing everything he could to get you to be his gf, but you just didn't want any of that. He felt a bit pissed, not understanding why you wouldn't want him as your bf.. but then when you mentioned your reasonings and the fact that you were open to having a sexual relationship with him, he started to think about this possibility.. I mean, he did like you, surely, but he did also have quite the hunger for your body. He noticed the way you'd sway your hips when you walk around him, wear mini skirts and quite the revealing tops in his company so he thought that if that's what you wanted then he could try it out.. still that didn't mean that if this didn't work out he wouldn't leave.

•since you refused his feelings, it remained only the lust lingering between the two of you. Barou insisted to himself that it was going to be a one time fling, your nonchalance for his emotions already a huge turn off of him, yet he still couldn't get enough of your body, each time he felt the touch of your hands on his chest, the kiss you'd leave on his lips, the squeeze your cunny would give him was way too agonizingly addicting. He shouldn't have given you a chance, he thinks, he should have never accepted your stupid offer, but here he was, laying beside you as he was fingering you, getting you nice and ready for your steamy session, as you were jerking him off. This was your little ritual, the start of your passionate and burning desires, that always left his body satisfied, unlike his mind that was always wandering..

•barou would fuck you roughly, mostly because he likes it that way, but also because it was his little revenge on you for rejecting him. He's quite the revengeful person, so he'd grab at each opportunity he gets, to show you who's your king. That's why, whenever shouei is fucking you in doggy, pressing your head into the mattress, and sinking his cock so deep it might breach your cervix, he'd always ask you who you belong to, reminding you of your weakness against your king's power. "That's right baby, who's your king huh?! Who's your fucking king?!" He'd loudly groan while his dick is stretching you out to the max, making you whimper, cry and just obey this egoist whose insatiable hunger for you turned him into a devilish monster.

© mdsbabygirl do not copy or translate any of my content without my permission.

[recklessghostart]

About the 'Skizz Situation' and why the fan community is not being a good representation of what it wants to claim.

Before I get started, I need y'all to read this with an open mind and an open heart. This is not an attack on you, or at all. It is me pointing out what I see and hoping to bring stuff to your attention. For those who don't know, the 'light' (and ultimately not entirely correct) synopsis going around is that Skizz got a donator asked Skizz to say 'trans rights' and he didn't because it was 'too political'. The reality? Skizz was chilling and vising with his chat having some good times and stuff, didn't vet the dono before starting to read it outloud, and that dono more or less said that they were a 'long time' viewer of Skizz and (the wording almost felt aggressive/accusing) didn't feel he did enough for the community and wanted him to say Trans rights. Skizz in the moment and trying to keep things light said he was just wanting to vibe with his chat and didn't want his channel to address things too 'political' (he clarified later he meant Polarizing) and he has nothing against nobody. He then followed up in the comments that clarification (which, lets be real, it is polarizing) that he didn't want his community to foster hatred in his comment section and its not the forum to have those debates (which is FINE. He is allowed to have boundaries. Those boundaries were set not just for himself but to protect his LGBTQ+ watchers) and of course he supports the LGBTQ+ community and Trans rights. Something else I wish to point out: This donator claimed to be a long time viewer of Skizz. Frankly I don't believe them or anyone who who is listening to any of this. He has been MORE than open about his support of the community in the past, and often. His last stream before all this was even him talking with Gem and Lizzy, two Bi women, about Bi stuff. That dono was made to stir the pot. To either make him say something to cause hatred in his comment space, or make him slip up and get the community to dislike him. So- how is the community a poor representation of what we claim? Well a lot of the claims the LGBTQ+ community makes is wanting people to grow. To want Allies. To support other discriminated groups. So- They see this Man- this DISABLED man (Skizz has MS) who has OPENLY SUPPORTED them in the past, make a slip up of words, and refuse to understand where is is coming from, why he may want to keep things 'good vibes' and just more normalized (because the very much Gay coded jokes and stuff he and Imp and Gem and the others make NORMALIZES the community which is AMAZING), Who himself is straight and comes from a very red state so may not 100% understand how to word what he means correctly, and basically tries to burn him at the stake. To take away his income. People want to Boycott him over this. To basically destroy his life. (Because he quit his Job to be a full time content creator, and he is still a very small one at that.) Tell me, how does that make anyone ever want to support this community? How does that show kindness and understanding? To make people want to grow? How does any of this treatment make you the better person? Because, long story short, it doesn't.

Now some of you are bringing up his mods, how two may be trump supporters. True or not (I haven't seen evidence of this? But I won't dismiss it), you also need to think of a few things in terms of that. They have been his mods for 5+ years. Mods often are close and friends of the streamers, especially small streamers which he is/was. People, can be friends with people of different political parties. You may not want to, but when I tell you that cutting people off because of a political opinion is new, its NEW. And a lot from the older gen wouldn't even dream of it. Furthermore they are (as far as I know) volunteers. He does not pay them (again, small streamer). He needs mods to run his channels and without them he can not do his job safely, especially for his community. And many people will not do this job for Free (at least not well). He can't just replace them overnight. Give him time to have those hard conversations if he chooses to have them. It's not like they have even brought those beliefs into their work or his streams. Long story short, Be good. Not just to each other but to Skizz himself. Have the understanding you would want people to have for you if you slip up with good intentions. Crucifying someone who supports y'all does nothing good for this community.

[pedgito]

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 | Joel Miller x reader

↝ other fics | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec | ko-fi

part two– summary | It's a shitty situation, dependency brimming unspoken and one wrong move puts your life in danger and once again, you find yourself owing everything to Joel.

content warning | DDDNE — DUBCON, coercion, selective mutism on readers behalf, graphic depictions of violence, injury tw, attempted sa (briefly), brief mentions of pregnancy and procedures to prevent it, mean!joel, unhealthy coping mechanisms for trauma, all angst no fluff but a lot of emotion, smut (bc without it who am i), sex riding an adrenaline high after life or death situation, joel fucks you against a tree, showering together, weird domesticity, guilt-riddled joel, bed-sharing, unprotected piv, creampies, lots of progress made here i promise

author's note | part three will more than likely be out by the end of this month i promise! also thank you to everyone who's shown this story so much love, it means so much to me. this chapter is about as light as this story gets...so....sorry? <3

word count —9k

part one | part three | strangers masterlist

They argue about you like you’re not standing a few feet away.

“She needs a job,” Tommy tells him, “Rules, Joel. Everyone pulls their weight—how this works.”

“You act like I don’t know that,” Joel gripes, “but what are you expecting her to do? She don’t talk, she refuses to go anywhere without me. She sure as hell ain’t gonna be much use workin’ the stables or fixin’ fences when she’s so goddamn skittish.”

Tommy shrugs, “Patrol, then.”

Joel’s eyes narrow, “Like hell,”

Another silent standoff you were more than happy to stay out of, the nylon of your coat scratching against itself as you take a couple steps back in the fear of an impending blow up.

“Give me another option then,” Tommy argues, “You just said she won’t leave your side—”

“She ain’t ready for that,” Joel says rather defensively, your brow furrowing at his disdain over the idea, ignoring the fact you were on the run for several weeks, surviving on your own—this was different.

Admittedly, you had clung to Joel.

He was safe, comfortable, and had become a strange sense of home in an unfamiliar place.

As much as he tried to act like it didn’t affect him, he’s grown used to your presence. Though, he’s set a hard boundary with you—no touching, keep your distance, and always make yourself known. You were always quiet, eerily so, and Joel hated that.

Tommy attempts to decipher Joel, staring at his brother, “You don’t think she can do it,”

“Both,” Joel admits, both of their eyes flickering toward you briefly, expressions unreadable.

“I think she’ll surprise you,” Tommy admits.

Joel shakes his head in a lazy disbelief, not believing an ounce of what Tommy is trying to convince him of, “We’ll see—but she’s with me, no one else. Not even Ellie.”

“Figured that,” Tommy retorts, “You’re goin’ out pretty far, we haven’t hit the lodge in a couple weeks. That alright?”

Your body tenses at the mention of it, but neither of them notice. Joel’s hand curls into a fist and flexes open, a nervous tic you’ve noticed about him when he was trying to steady himself, he nods silently in response.

When you both arrive back to the Miller home, Joel begins packing his bag up, already half-stuffed and switching out a few things. He tosses you a tattered bag, old and well-loved before he’s pointing toward the basement.

“A couple pairs of clothes, extra pair of shoes, nothing that ain’t a necessity—I’ll stock your pack with the other stuff come mornin’ before we head out,”

You had a night then.

There was only one lodge near Jackson that you could remember. It was the last time you saw them.

The men in tailored gear, embroidered with a gold patch that designated their status amongst the group. 

Trackers, seekers—they handled the recruiting, though often forced. They were glorified kidnappers, taking young men and women against their will if they were unfortunate enough to cross their path, but they also managed the hunting.

If someone escaped, they never came back in one piece.

Whether that was a shattered mind or a missing limb, it was never good.

The lodge was empty when you found it, just at the crest of winter when you had snuck in, fitting yourself into a sizable gap in the flooring covered by a wooden panel.

The men had been on your tail for days, tracking you through the miles of forests behind you and into the town.

Luckily, they were unsuspecting at that moment.

Your misfortune came later, but the lodge was a warning.

They were near, always near—you had no idea if they were still searching, even after a few weeks of settling in.

It was the unknown, the looming presence, that terrified you. 

They had an obligation to follow demands but most of them did it for sport.

It was never anything but a game.

—

Sleep is fickle that night, scratching at the rusted metal of your bed frame until it was caked under your nails, the soft hum of electricity above as it moved through Joel’s house, his soft footsteps as he woke, gentle as he strolled barefoot, eventually trading it for heavy footfall as his boots went on—it was early dawn when the tap came to your door, feigning sleep as you hid under the sheets.

Joel gives you a few minutes, pacing beyond the threshold.

His patience reminds you of the kind you used to wish for back when everything was different, back when you were nothing but a prisoner—you were pushing it, though. Even Joel’s patience would wear thin, making your best attempt to delay the patrol before he’s opening the door with a click, the key shoved into the mechanism before the door creaks open.

“Get up,” he barks, “we’re already late and holding up the rest of ‘em,”

You moan tiredly, barely audible, shuffling under the sheets, only for them to be ripped back in an instant.

“You’ve got about five seconds,” he warns, snatching your pack off the floor as he stands over you, daring to pry your eyes open to take a peek at him, “or I’m rippin’ you out of that bed,”

He catches your eyes as they open and his brow is cocked authoritatively, making your body move despite your apprehensiveness for the entire situation and Joel eyes you skeptically, stepping around you as you move with little enthusiasm.

“If you changed your mind, I can talk to Tommy,” Joel says with a tone that makes your chest tighten with fear—both of abandonment and helplessness, “I’m sure he’ll find somethin’ for you to do here while I go and—”

You stop in your tracks at his words, coat on and shoes barely slipped over your heel as you’re approaching him with immediate worry, shaking your head furiously as you grip onto his bicep, eyes pleading.

He’s always direct with you now, making sure your eyes connect with his. He’s learned to read you through facial expression and emotion, settling with the fact you weren’t going to speak to him, whether capable or not.

“Alright,” he sighs, and you shrug slightly but not enough to break your hold, “then hurry up.”

His voice carries the weight of a thousand other mornings like this, where silence and glances fill the space between you. He’s grown comfortable, surprisingly. He didn’t like how normal your presence had become or how you seemed to settle into his life easily.

“Probably make a few stops along the way,” Joel explains, “I took myself off patrol duty for this,” he means you, this, the burden of your situation and disruption, “the lodge is far but usually out there we aren’t dealin’ with much, less infected in the cold and all.”

But not people, you think.

He sees you tense at the mention, coat shrugging over your shoulders.

Last ditch effort. Anything.

Just change his mind.

You reach for his palm as he extends it face up, examining you carefully.

You tap your pointer finger into the center of his palm before pointing it at the floor, the hand holding his wrist tugging insistently.

Stay. A finger into his palm.

Here. A finger to the floor.

You repeat it a few times until he seems to understand through the silent communication.

“Stay..stay,” he begins, deciphering your message, “we’re not—no we’re not stayin’ here.”

Your face falls, instincts turning to drastic measures as you drop his hand, invading his space in a way he’s been careful to avoid, hands curling around the side of his face and the soft brush of his beard itching your palm before you’re leaning forward to press your lips against his own, eagerly pulling him toward you.

Joel’s quick, though. He rips your hands away, fingers tightening around your bicep harshly.

“Don’t try that shit again,” he growls, “ain’t no fuckin’ choice in you stayin’ here.”

You try to yank away from him but it was pointless.

“Are you gonna listen or do I need to drag you out?”

Your jaw tightens and you slackening under his grip and while he could let you go, he doesn’t.

You stumble behind as he pulls you with him, up the stairs, around the hall and into the living room until you’re standing at the door and he’s releasing you to jab a finger in your face, flinching with every flick as it grows closer, making you go nearly cross eyed. 

“You give me even the slightest amount of trouble while we’re out and I won’t hesitate to leave you behind,” Joel threatens, that sinking feeling of regret swirling in his gut the moment your expression softens.

She fucking trusts you, he reminds himself.

As slippery as that slope could be, he’s got a responsibility. 

You nod shakily and the tightness of his grip pierces your soul, immediately submitting to his hold as he jerks you to face forward and reaches around to grab the knob, chest pressed against your back as you step outside.

A swirling wind greets you, whistling its own kind of warning as Joel drags you through the brittle, dried grass. Your boots crunch against the frosty ground, doing your best to keep pace with him, breath puffing out in frantic clouds. Cold air bites your skin and the crunch of your boots, now on gravel, fills the silence between you. It’s tense. 

You follow him to the stable as he releases his grip on you, to the weapon compound, close at his side as he steers the horse to the front gate, looking rather apologetic to his brother who seems to sense the situation between you and Joel and quickly averts the watchful eyes of others with his voice, calling off the list of locations and names like a roll call.

“Get on,” he orders, softer now but still edged and you oblige, feeling a hovering touch of his hand over your thigh as you climb onto the horse and lean back, making room for him to climb on.

Joel’s arms snake behind him to wrap yours around his jacket before he grabs the reins and clicks his tongue. The horse hesitates, feeling your combined weight, then lurches forward. You cling to the saddle as Joel steadies you with a firm grip, holding you close as Jackson fades from view.

The solace you’ve come to appreciate slipping through your fingers, even if temporary, made the pit in your stomach grow rapidly.

The landscape stretches out in muted colors. Bare trees reach like fingers, tendrils to the gray sky and frost clings to their branches. Joel’s silence feels like a wall between you, and you bite your lip to fight the chill that’s creeping into your bones, shrugging the hood of your coat over your head as you bury your face in between his shoulder blades, eyes peeking over.

It’s a strange kind of comfort for Joel the way you settle into him, close and warm. 

As much as he tried to keep his distance, there was always a loophole.

“You gonna explain what that was back there?” Joel asks, knowing his questioning is pointless, the roar of the wind and the bumpy ride making it nearly impossible for any type of silent communication, “I don’t want you doin’ that anymore, thinkin’ you need to act that way to…I don’t know—do whatever you’re wanting to do,”

The landscape rolls by like a somber, black and white film strip; broken fences and abandoned cars sprouting from the ground, dead infected and rotting animals, houses abandoned. It wasn’t as normal now, living in a lively place with such a dichotomy only a ride away, reminding you just how temporary your life was in this world.

“Were you scared to leave Jackson?” he asks curiously, trying to decipher what he could.

You hesitate, unsure how to answer. It was a yes and no question—safe was anywhere with Joel, but you were still weary. You don’t answer immediately, so Joel assumed that wasn’t the problem.

“Is it the weather? Don’t like the snow?” you shake your head almost immediately, uncaring for the elements, finding that dying from frostbite or heatstroke were both equally miserable.

“The lodge?” he asks after a long, drawn out silence—the ride was still long, more difficult as the snow began to pick up, falling in thick sheets, “Is there somethin’ out here you ain’t told us?”

You shift slightly, the leather of Joel’s jacket creaking beneath your cheek. The question hangs heavy, like the snow. It’s too much to explain, the knot of reasons tangled inside you. You press your face into his back again, wishing you could dissolve into him and stay there. You feel his sigh before you hear it, learning the way his body works through touch and sound. It’s not disappointment—it’s understanding. 

But, that frightens you too.

Joel makes a few short stops along the way, simple checks on smaller lookouts that don't even require you to get off the horse, keeping watch as he was in and out within a couple of minutes, eyes always on you no matter where he moved.

You can sense the way his anger lingers in his face and the stiffness of his shoulders but his instinct to protect is stronger, shoving the sturdy emotion aside to traverse through the heavy storm until, hours later, the lodge comes into view, your heart hammering in your chest.

Your fingers tighten around the lapels of his jacket and he looks down, watching the way you strangle the fabric under your grip, shifting slightly on the saddle as he slows to a stop just inside the lodge before Joel helps you off the horse and ties him, leaving you for a moment that feels nothing short of a century, frozen in your spot as you hold your bag close to your chest.

“At some point you gotta start talkin’,” his voice startles you as it comes from the shadows, jacket stripped as he kneeled down at the fire pit near the center of the room, working quickly to warm the place up, “it ain’t about inconvenience either, it could get you killed.”

You move silently and sit nearby, eyes downturned and lips pulled tight.

It’s impossible to explain, the way your throat constricts at any attempt to speak, like a knee jerk reaction as you anticipate the strike of a hand or foot, a lash at your back or the hot prick of a cigarette into your skin. 

You still felt it occasionally, the phantom pain.

Your bottom lip trembles as they part, desperately wanting to make the attempt but knowing your body won’t let you out of self-preservation. Joel doesn’t see the struggle, but he can see your fingers fidgeting, restlessness laying in wait. 

“Did you bring your paper and pen with you?” Joel asks, sounding fatherly in a way that hints of a life lived and lost, “You can’t just ask the way you did this morning for no reason, I want answers,”

You nod obediently, riffling through your bag for the items.

Joel waits until they're in your hand and the fire crackles to life before he asks his first question.

“Is it the lodge? Is that why you wanted to stay in Jackson?” he asks, watching you scribble down a swift answer.

Yes. But, more.

He leans forward on his knees and into your space to read the scribbled note, sighing tiredly.

It isn’t what he wanted, obvious in the roll of his eyes.

“Explain,” He says tensely, “Stop bein’ so damn cryptic, I don’t like that shit,”

They followed me here. I hid. 

Joel’s face contorts in confusion.

“They followed you that far?”

It was their job. Bad men, all of them. They enjoy it. I hid and they didn’t find me. That time. I was worried they might find me again. They didn’t that time.

Joel examines the concentration on your phase as you write out the words, taking the notebook as you gently shove it into his palm, large fingers wrapping around the notepad.

“Who is they?” Joel asks, “You keep writin’ they,” his fingernail scratches over the word, leaving an indent in the paper, “We’re tight about patrols out here, we woulda saw ‘em. You sure it wasn’t someone else? Maybe just some random raider? They stroll through from time to time lookin’ for shelter.”

No. Not random. They wore emblems, gold and threaded to look like an anchor. There are men we serve, higher-ups. Then ones that follow a code, like an army. The men after me were hunters. Trackers. Do you understand? Not for animals.

“Sick fucks,” Joel says mostly to himself as he reads over your writing,

Don’t leave me. Please. I will do anything.

His earlier words echo in your head, seeming to cross his own mind at the same time.

You shove the notepad at him hastily, hands trembling slightly,

“Don’t get worked up," Joel says, voice a little gruff, "I’m not leavin’.”

Safe. He writes it out underneath your own words. 

Thick. Heavy. 

He nods.

Suddenly, as Joel feels around in his pocket as he stands, he comes across an object Tommy had handed him before he left, careful as he approaches you and reaches for your hand, pressing the solid weight of the object into it.

It was your knife, cleaned up and sharpened to a dangerous point.

Joel makes a noise of warning, fingers tight around your wrist.

“This ain’t yours to keep,” Joel explains, “jus’ while we’re out here, in case you come across an animal or something, it comes right back to me when we leave, understood?”

Begrudgingly, you nod.

“Put it away,” he instructed, watching as you closed the knife and stuffed it into your pocket.

You couldn’t explain it, but the frustration in him still simmered, unsure if it was because of you or not. Joel was a sorrowful man, carrying enough guilt for a thousand men—it could be that he was just having a day, desperate for a moment to himself.

It comes a while later after you’ve both settled in and the place was filled with warmth, “Keep watch, don’t wander—I’ll sleep for a couple hours then take over, got it?”

You nod quickly, perched on the wide, open window as you watch the snowfall. 

Something about it was oddly therapeutic, looking over to watch the scowl on Joel’s face soften as he fell into a deep slumber, leaning half reclined against a wall with his jacket balled up by his head to double as a pillow.

Hours pass without incident, thankfully. Joel said two, but it was already four and he was still sleeping, snoring now as he’s slumped down into a more horizontal position, growing slightly restless as the storm had calmed and the sun was shining overhead, desperate for a few moments of fresh air now that you were here, feeling comfortable enough in the quiet and with Joel’s presence that you could step out for a moment and breathe, putting on your shoes and coat quickly as you slipped out the back door of the lodge and watched a pair of birds on a branch as they hopped beside each other, chirping quietly.

You can’t remember the last time you’ve felt this calm or relaxed, glancing over at Joel sheepishly despite his obliviousness. 

You inhale deeply, letting the crisp, post-storm air fill your lungs. 

The lodge is silent behind you, save for the faint sound of Joel’s snoring. The fresh air feels like a relief, a moment of stillness that you hadn’t realized you needed. That you deserved.

Your eyes follow the pair of birds a moment longer, chirping softly to each other.

It’s peaceful—almost too peaceful. 

A small prickle of unease creeps up your spine, but you shake it off.

It’s just quiet. 

Nothing’s wrong.

Then—

You feel your throat swell.

The snap of a twig.

You freeze. The birds flutter away, startled. Your breath catches.

You don’t have time to turn before an arm locks around your chest, a rough hand clamping over your mouth. You couldn’t scream even if you wanted to.

“Oh, easy, ea-sy,” the stranger coos with a sickening softness, “don’t wanna wake him up, do ya?”

The faceless attacker holds you tight, something sharp and jagged at your back as he guides you backwards, further away from Joel.

Your pulse pounds in your ears as you struggle, but he’s strong. 

He reeks of sweat and damp clothes, his grip unyielding.

"You people think you’re so damn careful… but you’re just easy pickings if you ain’t watchin’,” he sounds so smug and amused, greedy as he dragged you further and further away, feet stumbling out beneath you as you fell into the snow against him, a grunt shooting from his chest but ultimately it was followed by a spine-chilling chuckle, a hand slipping underneath the material of your shirt and over your abdomen, “been camped out here all day watchin’ you both, thought you were a dime, though–couldn’t pass up the opportunity,”

You twist sharply, managing to get free, clawing at his arm as you shove it away. He grunts in irritation but grabs at your ankle, yanking you back down as you fall to your ass, silently groaning at the pain.

"Feisty," he mutters. "I like it. Ain’t much fun otherwise."

You’ve fought for your life plenty of times and this was no different.

It shouldn’t surprise you that misfortune met you at every turn, allowing yourself to fall into a false confidence only to be disappointed once more as the man looms over you, a shadow of menace. You kick wildly, connecting with his shin. A low snarl escapes him.

“Little bitch,” he hisses, shaking his leg as if to brush off the sting. 

But, it gives you a moment to scramble backward on your hands and heels, snow biting at your palms as you shoved your hand into your pocket to find your knife, watching as he stalked toward you in a pure rage, opening your mouth in a scream you know will never come, but then he’s tripping, scrambling to catch his bearings over you.

The tip of the blade slices through his guts like butter, feeling the bile rise in your throat at the sensation and the warm spread of blood over your hand, desperately trying to force his weight off of you, but his hands finds your face, thumbs reaching for your eyes in any attempt to injure you but then there’s a shot ringing out, startling the both of you.

Simultaneously, the man jerks violently, his hands going slack around your face as he falls with a gurgling choke. Blood flows down his neck and onto you, drenching your clothes in a way that makes you want to crawl out of your skin.

You scramble to your knees, backing away without looking toward the gunman as you panic, wiping the blood from your skin and into the snow, desperate to rid yourself of the thick fluid before Joel’s invading your space, fingers tightening into your coat to yank you upright as he shoves you back against a tree, blinded with pure rage.

He had saved you. He was angry, sure. But, he saved your life. Again.

“Are you fucking stupid, girl?!” he asks, his tone tight and harsh, met with a meek nod.

“Wrong answer,” He snaps, “I said two hours, then you wake me. I said not to wander and you did—so answer me again, are you—fucking stu—”

He doesn’t register that sting of your teeth in his bottom lip until your hand curls around the back of his neck, tongue spearing into his mouth as his mouth parts in surprise, your fingers tangling into his hair as you pull him into the kiss. 

Thank you, it breathes.

His grip slackens for the briefest moment before turning to steel again, fingers knotted in your clothes, twisting and pulling you closer. The violence of him feels like a lifeline, like something sure and solid in this brutal world. He’s safe. 

Safe.

He shoves you harder against the tree, rough bark biting through your coat as his teeth gnash against yours, tangled breaths turning to steam in the cold.

Your head spins, heart shuddering up into your throat, and you lose yourself in the way he feels, like fury itself. His hand moves from your clothes to splay over your belly, warm and forceful where the knife was just seconds before on your attacker who lay lifeless on the snowy ground.

You can’t stop thinking. 

The coppery taste of blood lingers everywhere: on your clothes, on the dead man, on Joel’s mouth now. The snow around you is red-stained as his hands roam over you, your own hands mirroring his unspoken neediness as you tear into the belt of his jeans, feeling him undo your own in tandem, unable to look one another directly in the eye at that moment, desperate for connection by other means.

He shouldn’t be allowing this, but the urge to consume your gratitude is stronger.

His thumb fumbles with the button of your jeans, and you’re practically writhing to get them off, burning up despite the chill. You sigh internally as he manages to get them free, yanking them far enough down your thighs before he’s turning you against the tree.

The world fades around you; it’s just him, just you, each breath mingling as he frees himself from his pants. You feel his heat press against you, insistent, frenzied, somehow apologetic as it fits between your thighs.

You feel his fingers fit between your legs and spread between your folds like instinct but you’re shaking your head, hand clawing at back of his neck as you arch your ass into him, a silent plea for him to just fuck you instead, needy as you bring his mouth to yours with a distinct hunger, swallowing up his ragged breaths as he rubs his thumb and pointer finger over the head of his cock and through your slick before he’s stretching you open with little grace, mouth open in a silent gasp as your free hand grabs at his hip.

“Fuck,” he breathes into your mouth, words dissolving into a groan as he sets an unrelenting pace. The tree bark is rough against your skin, but you don’t care, the rawness of it only adds to the frenzy growing between you. Hastily undressed and filthy, the kiss-smudged blood across his face smearing into yours.

He’s practically holding you up like this, his grip slipping over your hips as his mouth finds your neck, biting down just enough to bruise or draw blood of your own, not entirely sure.

His thrusts breath raw desperation, nails clawing at bare skin as he hisses into your neck.

There’s nothing soft about it, no measured rhythm, just a brutal need for each other. 

Joel is acutely aware of the way your body is responding to him, silent sobs racking your chest as you pull him impossibly closer, “I gotcha,” he says, “I feel you, you’re gonna give it to me, aren’t ya? S’right there, I feel it,”

And he wants it more than he was comfortable admitting to himself, the satisfaction of filling the insatiable need you had craved from him.

His hand snakes over your mouth, smothering sounds that would never surface, but the gesture is heady, biting at the skin of his palm until you knew it would sting.

Desperation blurs into pleasure, and you feel it shuddering through you like an electric current and the world comes rushing in again all at once: the cold air nipping at sweat-slick skin, branches clawing at your chest like a bitter, jealous lover. It’s hard to tell, the way you both are clawing at this for dear life, but you think this is maybe as close as the two of you have ever been, filthy and frantic and burning up together as you come, feeling Joel pull out in enough time to spill into his fist, low and drawn-out grunts that had you cunt pulsing, resting dissociatively against the tree.

It was the most human you’ve felt in years.

“Get inside,” Joel says suddenly, pulling you back to reality—surprisingly, his voice is calmer.

And for once, you don’t argue.

–

Joel watches you change, trading the bloodied clothes for fresh ones and wiping you down in between, a silent but intimate gesture that neither of you outwardly address, eyes scanning his face carefully as he taps at your chin so he can wipe underneath your neck.

And you don’t speak about it.

Joel doesn’t even acknowledge it.

He takes care of the body, stays on watch despite your quiet persistence to help

But, as your hand trembles at your side as you approach him beside the fire pit, his fingers thread into your own, a heavy weight holding you down until it stops shaking. You can feel the small tremor on his own, harbored for different reasons. But, it calms him too.

You felt like there was finally equal ground to stand on.

–

When you arrive back in Jackson a couple days later, Joel relays information about the raider with some omissions, only suggesting that there be more frequent checks, but as you and Joel settle into a routine, things become almost…too easy.

He’s always expectant of your knife the moment you approach the gates, handing it over without problem, but just as easily sliding it into your own as you settle into your patrol spot for whatever rotation you both ended up on, still increasingly weary around others that weren’t Joel, you find a similar protection with Tommy, though not entirely comparable. 

Tommy only took you out so far as to teach you how to shoot and clear out infected that were a safe enough distance they couldn’t do any real harm, only swarms passing through.

Joel still hasn’t initiated any touch with you since that day, but his actions are increasingly more intimate despite his body language around you—though, that doesn’t mean he stops you.

Maybe it was how he justified his own righteousness, that he was absolving himself of the guilt that he had knowingly allowed you to attach yourself to him, almost selfishly.

With Ellie’s growing independence becoming more and more obvious, Joel leans toward your odd connection and the ease it brings to his routine.

You’re shivering over a cup of coffee one morning despite your layers and blanket wrapped around your shoulders, the chill making your bones ache.

“You can sleep up here, you know,” Joel tells you, “the couch is comfortable, s’close to the fire, too.”

You shrug nonchalantly, sipping softly at the strong brew.

“Sleep up here,” he tries again, a command, your hesitation curling around the steaming cup as your eyes connect, nodding hesitantly.

His mug scuffs the counter as his fingers curl around the ceramic, his hip settling into the edge as he leans into the surface and you meet him with an honest gaze.

“Are you only agreeing because I’m tellin’ you to?”

Sheepishly, you nod.

Joel doesn’t harp on it, though. It was a small battle won, less worry of you catching frostbite or a cold down in the basement, your presence more apparent as you move into the neutral living space, there when he wakes and when he retires for the night, quiet and somber.

Then, there was an instance with the shower that became routine. 

Your skin caked with dirt and re-opened cuts crusted with days old blood, a particularly rough run-in with a group of infected that Joel had dealt with mostly, you trailing close behind and taking out the few stragglers.

Joel always opted for privacy anymore—save the moment at the lodge when you had shed your blood stained clothes and Joel had to make sure none of it was your own, but your body was exhausted as was your mind, losing your footing as you stumbled into the sink and made a soft noise that Joel’s never heard before.

He’s never heard anything from you, really. 

Only your breathing, heavier in moments of anxiety or despair, but soft as you slept.

You were hunched over the tub and half-dressed, your head pounding as the blood rushed there, eyes squeezing shut as you bit at the inside of your cheek and Joel’s presence is there, but far, hovering near the door as he just needed eyes on you to confirm you weren’t hurt.

As the door closes and you’re pushing back to your feet, you yank it back with a similar strength and Joel watches your hand reach for him, curling in the fabric of his shirt as you silently plead for him to come closer.

Help me, your eyes plead.

Quietly, you guide the shirt over his head and his mind finally catches up, reaching behind you as he turns the water on until the bathroom was smothered with steam, his eyes wondering anywhere but you as you both stepped in naked under the stream, guided by Joel to turn away as he washed you in silence, careful and methodical, leaning into his touch as his fingers curl around the back of your neck to wash your hair.

It happens once or twice again, based around the frequency of patrols and whenever the house was empty and though Joel is hesitant to your touch, eventually he gives in, eyes usually closed as you face him, hands tugging through his dirtied hair and over his chest, a low rumble as your fingers curl a little too low, grazing over the curve of his ass before his fingers catch your wrist and his eyes pry open, shaking his head.

Eventually, his resolve fades.

He tries, but your persistence is steadfast, growing needful to his proximity in every facet of your life and the kisses are shy at first, gentle presses to his shoulder or arm, occasionally over his chest or neck, his hands hovering but never touching without necessity. 

He doesn’t like to talk, either. But, he became familiar with the scar on your lower abdomen, just above your pelvis and thick, the skin clearly marred but not like the others on your body.

You always guide his hand away out of discomfort, unsure how to explain without using words.

Though, given what you’ve told him and the behaviors you’ve exhibited, Joel can make a guess.

He blurts it out one night as you shower until the water grows cold.

“They take something from you?” he asks, already knowing the answer.

You nod slightly, hands curving over his shoulders to dig into the muscle and knead, his eyes downturned and dark, intimidating as always.

The doctors performed a salpingectomy on many, including you, unsafe and at risk of death given the environment and lack of understanding, there was no telling what kind of damage they had done, but the most important part was that reproduction was null, some sick and twisted belief to keep women obedient and available. 

You don’t remember much, but it was years ago.

Your face heats as you mimic a pregnant belly, ignoring how his hand guides over your breast with the soapy rag as you lock eyes with him, shaking your head.

His face twitches emotionlessly, nostrils flaring, “I’m sorry,” and he means it.

Joel remembers the harsh accusation he’d thrown at you, assuming your motives without understanding or knowing, but this—it gives him perspective. 

–

A few hours later, you wake from a night terror.

It was dark, pitch black and quiet, but you couldn’t move.

Your mouth opens to scream but nothing comes out, thrashing against invisible bindings until you come to, Joel’s hands locked around your shoulders to keep you still, shaking you back to reality.

“Hey, hey,” his voice is an instant drug that soothes, eyes ripping open and searching frantically until they land on his face, “breathe, kid—you’re here, not there,”

Joel knew—of course he did.

He stays until you calm, pushing up on your hands to sit up and reaching for his arm as he stands, repeating the same gesture in his palm that he’s come to understand, crystal clear.

Stay, you gesture.

“Okay,” he agrees quietly, but you’re pulling him closer, fingers curling against his sides and Joel shakes his head, giving you some resistance, “nono—ain’t enough room for that, alright?”

Your grip tightens, begging.

Joel exhales through his nose in defeat, his hands twitching slightly where they still hold you. 

He doesn’t even need to ask, your footsteps following closely behind his own as he turns, padding back toward his room down the hall, slipping into his bed and under the sheets without a word, the weight of him next to you enough to settle your anxiety.

The second time you crawl into his bed, it’s after another nightmare. 

He doesn’t say anything—just lets out a tired sigh and shifts over, leaving space for you. You don’t touch him, not at first. Just tuck yourself into the blankets, facing away, the tension in your body easing just enough for sleep to take hold.

Then, it happens again. And again.

Every night, the same thing. 

You slip in, quiet as ever, and Joel tells himself it’s fine. That he can keep his distance.

But, you always end up entangled by the time you wake.

Your cheek pressed into his chest. His arm curled protectively around your waist. 

His breath in your hair.

Him, around you.

Joel knows he should stop this. 

He should tell you to stay in your own damn bed.

That it ain't right.

That he can’t be what you need him to be.

One night, he’s not asleep when you slip into his bed.

He feels the mattress dip, the hesitant pause before you settle in beside him, close but not touching. Joel keeps his eyes shut, breath steady, pretending he doesn’t notice.

But, then your fingers ghost over his wrist, then around his waist, your knee shifting between his thighs as you curl into him and nuzzle against his neck, lips pressing into his pulse point.

He stiffens. Feels you hesitate, then try again, pressing a kiss into the sensitive skin of his neck.

"Kid," he mutters, voice low, warning.

He can feel the neediness in your touch, eyes flicking up shyly to look at him as he bows his head to look down at you.

"You do everything I tell you to," he murmurs, and he’s right—voice rough with sleep. "If I told you to go back to your own bed, would you listen?"

Silence.

Then, your fingers tighten slightly where they’re wrapped around him. A slow shake of your head to answer his question and a sigh from him that follows, it shakes the room.

It’s defeat.

Your lips brush against his jaw first, tentative, testing. When he doesn’t stop you, you press again, slower this time. Then lower, over the rough stubble of his throat.

Joel lets out a slow, shuddering breath. His hand finds your waist, fingers curling tight before forcing himself to loosen his grip.

His fingers twitch against your waist, the calloused pads pressing firm into the soft give of your skin. His breath is heavy, slow, controlled—because he has to be.

“Shouldn’t be doin’ this,” he says, but it’s weak, “can’t be.”

A hollow protest. 

You don’t say anything, just tilt your head, lips tracing along his pulse, feeling it thrum beneath your mouth, slow and steady. He’s always so calm, a constant beat that never skipped or faltered.

He exhales sharply, his grip tightening. “Christ,” he breathes, head tipping forward until his forehead brushes against yours. “You don’t listen worth a damn, do you?”

You shake your head again, more deliberate this time.

His eyes flick to yours, dark and searching, like he’s looking for something—one last excuse to push you away. 

But there’s nothing—he’s guilty for the need of this too.

And then you’re pulling him down, lips pressing against his, soft but insistent, and any last restraint he had left crumbles in an instant.

Joel groans against your mouth, deep and wrecked, his hands still hesitant to touch, only allowing it as you initiate, dragging his hand to your waist and down, under your thigh until he’s hiking your leg over his hip.

His lips part, teeth grazing your bottom lip before he kisses you again, harder, deeper, like he needs this just as much as you do. Like he’s just as desperate for it.

He is.

Joel pulls you closer, his hands gripping at your waist. His lips are slow at first, searching, but when you whimper against his mouth, something inside him snaps. It’s a sound he hasn’t heard, the first he’s ever heard, surprising yourself as the sound slips out, throat immediately collapsing on itself in fear, awaiting the hands that wrap tight around your throat and suffocate.

Instead, his hand fists in the fabric of your shorts, curling around your hip as your core drags over his groin, his quickly hardening cock pressing against the inside of your thigh.

"You don’t even think twice, do you?" he rasps against your lips, his breath warm and unsteady. "Just do whatever the hell I tell you without arguing?”

You nod, fingers threading into his hair, tugging just enough to make him groan. You nod, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth. With your muteness, it meant Joel’s eyes had to be on you, constantly waiting and searching for communication.

It made you feel special, the way he was attentive to you at all times.

Your thumb drags over his lip as you pause for a moment, letting the weight of his words sink in.

His eyes darken, something unreadable flickers across his face, and his hands still for a moment too, resting heavy on the bare skin of your leg.

“That ain’t always a good thing,” he tell you, but he’s already leaning back in, following the push into his shoulder as you raise your leg over his abdomen to straddle him, pressing him into the mattress as you grind down into him.

Somehow you know he’ll follow, that he won’t resist. 

He’s guilty, too—doesn’t ever think twice when it comes to you. That’s what eats at him the most—how easily you give in to each other. How willingly.

Your hands skim down his chest, nails scratching lightly over the thick hair there, down to his stomach, lower—until he catches your wrist, shaking his head.

"Slow down," he murmurs, voice strained, rough around the edges as your hips moving at a leisurely pace, glancing down to admire the thickness of his shaft as the fabric hugged around him, leaving no part of him to imagination, the thick trail of hair that disappeared beyond his waistband, "You don't gotta—"

You shake your head, mouth hung open in silence as your eyes fall shut.

A groan rumbles low in his chest as he lets go of you, hands falling to his side as lets you use him, slowly realizing what this moment was for you.

A reclamation of your own pleasure and autonomy, using his body for release that did nothing to benefit him outside of the wonder that bloomed into his features as you move more frantic, fabric bunching up higher at your hips as you chase your high, working toward the crest of your orgasm that you just couldn’t reach, face scrunching up in annoyance as you start to hit as his chest with soft blows, seemingly frustrated.

Joel knows what you need, skin against skin, flush connection.

You look up at him with a pout that pleads, screaming out.

And this time, he doesn’t stop you as you shift, a fury of limbs as you remove your shorts with impatience, tossing them to the floor as you tug at his sweats, his cock bobbing heavy and free, just far enough down his thighs that you can see how his balls tighten at your touch, taking a moment to admire him this way, his face contorted into something unreadable as your thumb slides over his slit, leaking with precum and his tip a blushed red.

Joel lets out a strangled breath, his head tilting back against the pillow as your fingers wrap around him, slow and deliberate, dragging over the length of him with just enough pressure to make his stomach tense.

He breathes slowly, his hands twitching at his sides, like he’s resisting the urge to touch you. 

To guide you. Teach you.

But he won’t—he lets you take what you need, lets you move at your own pace. 

You shift upwards, lining yourself up with him, the heat of your slick cunt teasing against his length, dragging up and down as you shudder at the feeling, the head of his cock sliding against your clit, the shlick of your bodies as they move against each other.

His jaw clenches, muscles taut as he watches.

Your fingers curl against his skin, nails pressing into him as you take all of him, inch by inch.

He finds himself waiting for a sound, silently begging for it, curious if you would sound as wrecked as he did, grunting when you’re seated fully, the burn mixing with pleasure so intense it makes your head fall forward. 

Joel’s breath stutters. His hands find your waist with your guidance, squeezing tight, like this was your attempt in trying to get him to ground himself too. He doesn’t move, doesn’t thrust up into you—just lets you adjust, lets you take him however you want. 

“Fuck,” he grunts, voice wrecked. “You feel that?” You nod, biting your lip, rolling your hips experimentally. A pleasurable ache growing in your gut. He groans, low and guttural, his fingers digging into your flesh. “That’s it,” he breathes. “Take what you need.” 

And you do.

You start slow, your hands braced against his chest, feeling the taut muscle beneath your palms as you roll your hips, testing, searching for something you’re not sure of. The stretch is deep, almost too much, but it’s what you want—what you need.

Joel’s hands grip your waist, like he’s holding himself back, like if he lets go, he’ll take over. 

But he doesn’t. He just watches, dark eyes hooded, jaw tight as you find your rhythm.

He exhales through gritted teeth, watching the way you move, the way your body trembles every time you take him deeper, your breasts shifting under your shirt as you bounce, finding himself speaking before the words filter, like his pleasure has a mind of its own.

"You always listen so well, don’t you?"

Your breath hitches at the praise, the smallest whimper slipping from your lips, and Joel's fingers tighten on your hips, not guiding you, but steadying you, anchoring you to him. You’ve never made sounds like this before, not even by accident.

With him, the fear of retaliation has begun to ease. Each noise that slips isn’t met with anger or rage, but astonishment, eyes widening in wonder.

“You like that?” he asks, voice rough, like it’s been dragged down a gravel road, "Doin’ what you’re told?"

You nod frantically, grinding down harder, desperate for more.

For him, you think. Only for him.

Give me safety. I’ll give you everything.

He curses under his breath, his restraint fraying at the edges. "Fuck—look at you," he groans, his fingers digging into your flesh now, a warning, his own control slipping. "Takin’ me so fuckin’ good."

A shudder runs through you at his words, your walls fluttering around him, making him hiss.

"Keep goin'," he murmurs, lifting up slightly as he settles on an elbow, the thumb of his free hand stroking your skin, the tension in his body betraying how much effort it takes to stay still, “I feel ya, how bad you need it,”

Your fingers reach for him, prying his grip from your waist and guiding his hands up, over your body, pressing them against your breasts, your stomach, anywhere you can, until he gets it—until he stops holding back. He rises to meet you, arms wrapping around your waist similar to how you had cornered him on the couch in the basement, but the implication is different.

A deep, guttural groan escapes him, and then his hands are moving on their own, sliding down to grip your ass, to spread you wider as he thrusts up into you, slow but deep, pushing a broken moan from your throat.

"Yeah?" he rasps in surprise, voice strained. "Is that what you wanted?"

You nod helplessly, nails scraping over his chest as you try to keep up with his pace, but Joel doesn’t let you. He takes over now, fucking up into you with long, deliberate strokes, each one dragging a whimper from your lips.

More sounds, he needed more sounds.

"You gotta tell me," he pleads, his grip almost bruising now. "I need to hear it."

You open your mouth, but all that comes out is a breathy gasp, your head falling forward against his shoulder, and Joel growls, wrapping the arm around your back tight to keep you pressed against him.

"Say it," he demands, voice thick with need as he looks up at you, "Tell me what you need. I know you can—you’re doin’ so good," It was such a stark contrast, the praise.

Your lips part, voice shaky, barely above a whisper and broken, your voice foreign to your ears as it leaves your mouth

"You."

Joel freezes beneath you, stilling for half a second, something unreadable flickering across his face before it’s gone, replaced with something darker, something deeper.

He wants to fucking ruin you and build you back up watching as the tears form in your eyes, knowing what the action meant, the energy and bravery it took, he doesn’t push it aside.

His chest rises sharply against yours, breath stalling like he’s not sure he heard right. His fingers twitch against your skin, gripping tighter, but he doesn’t move. Doesn’t speak.

You feel the weight of it, the shift in the air. 

His pulse hammers against your palm where you press against his throat, his body locked beneath you like the words had cut him deeper than any knife ever could.

Your voice.

You’ve never spoken before.

Not to him. Not to anyone.

And now, with your body wrapped around him, shaking, desperate, it’s him you ask for. 

Him you need.

His name is on the tip of your tongue, but you don’t say it. 

You just press closer, urging him with slow rolls of your hips, hoping he understands, hoping he doesn’t make you say it again—because you don’t think you can.

And then, Joel moves.

Slowly. Carefully.

His hands roam, sweeping over your back, your waist, fingertips ghosting over the curve of your ribs like he’s memorizing you, feeling you breathe. His touch is softer now, reverent, as if the moment itself has changed, evolved into something neither of you expected.

You nod to an unasked question, pressing your lips against his cheek, his jaw, anywhere you can reach, trying to coax him back, trying to keep the moment from slipping away.

His hips snap up, slow but deep, dragging a soft, broken moan from your throat that makes his grip tighten. A noise barely audible.

"That’s it," he breathes, his voice thick with something you can’t explain. His hands guide you now, steady but unrelenting, moving you with him, driving deeper, harder, every roll of your hips pulling another sound from your lips, another shudder from your body.

He drinks in every noise, every gasp, every trembling sigh like it’s the most precious thing in the world. Collecting them all and committing them to memory.

"Keep talkin’ to me," he mutters, voice ragged, desperate. "Let me hear you."

But, you can’t.

The pleasure is too much, coiling tight, pulling you under, and all you can do is cling to him, gasping against his throat as your body starts to shake through your orgasm. The energy it takes to speak, the courage bleeding you dry. You’d lost your voice again.

Joel feels it—your unraveling, your breaking, the way your walls flutter around him—and it undoes him completely. Your hands cradle your face, tilting his head back so you can see him, his dark eyes burning into yours as he thrusts up hard as he spills inside of you, not entirely thinking as he does it.

"That’s it, baby," he praises, “Keep squeezin’ me, I’m right here,”

And for a long moment, neither of you move. 

The only sound is his ragged breaths, the pounding of your heart.

His lips brush your collarbone, his breath warm against your skin.

"You," he murmurs to you, soft, like it means something to him too.

Maybe it does, you weren’t sure.

–

He reaches you this way, through connection and touch.

Sex or something similar, the intensity of the moment clouding your thoughts and relaxing your worry, and his too.

It was a give and take with each other, distracting Joel from his constant stream of troubling thoughts and worries, still never approaching you—it was always under your guidance.

Maybe it’s selfish. Maybe it’s wrong. But every time your hands find him, every time you press yourself into his space, silently asking for comfort, for connection, he gives in.

The moment you touch him, the constant, gnawing dread in his mind quiets.

Just for a little while. And selfishly, he needs it.

Your fingers trail up his chest, light, uncertain, tracing the scars like a map. Joel watches, his breath slow and steady, his muscles tense beneath your touch—but he doesn’t stop you.

He never does.

You cornered him in the kitchen this particular night, his hands curled over the edge of the sink with his head hung, chest heaving like he had just woken up from his own nightmare, sneaking out of bed but not quite enough that you wouldn’t notice.

When you press your lips against his skin, soft and searching, he exhales like he’s been holding it in for too long. 

Like you were the answer.

"You sure?" he asks, his voice rough, low, but there’s no demand in it. 

No expectation. 

Only restraint. 

He’s not sure how much longer he can hold back, between the constant time spent together and the nights spent inside of you, allowing your greediness to take hold.

He pushed his own aside, stuffed until it was boiling over.

You nod, and that’s all it takes.

His hands find your waist, pulling you against him, guiding you the way you he needs, the way he knows you need too, his grip firm, like he’s holding something fragile—something breakable.

That's what this was, after all.

A delicate balance. A silent understanding.

You give each other this, and in return, he gives you himself, as do you—fully, completely, no barriers, no walls.

When he moves it is slow and deliberate, when his mouth finds your throat and his fingers grip your neck, guiding you against and up on the counter, fingers spreading underneath your top before it’s torn over your head, it was all the same. His palms curve around your neck, pulling you toward him as his lips capture yours in a surprisingly tender kiss, lips parting immediately as his tongue licks along your own, mirroring his touch as you spread your legs to make room for him. 

You don’t need anything else but this.

Only this.

Only him.

Only you.

But, there’s that gnawing in Joel’s chest that makes him out to be the monster he knows he can be, taking advantage of your trauma and pushing your limits, using you like you’ve been used before.

He’s no better, he thinks.

If anything, he’s worse.

[amourcheol]

blurring the lines (teaser)

❝Why learn the complexities of desire all by yourself, when your dearest friend can merely teach you?❞

bridgerton! au | friends with benefits! au | smut, fluff | approx. 30k words (1.6k words for teaser)

s u m m a r y : you think you know everything about your best friend, dashing bachelor joshua hong. when you stumble upon his suggestive literature from his recent travels, however, reading even an extract is enough to make you question everything. unsure of your newfound feelings, you turn to your confidante, unaware of just how much knowledge—and experience—he has to offer.

c o n t e n t : best friend! joshua, best friend! soonyoung too, references of real erotic literature from the 1700s because this is not an amourcheol fic without historical accuracy, references of other members, lady whistledown will be present, soonyoung is the real mvp in this fic, shua acts like a man </3 mature warnings -> tons of sexual tension, making out, fingering, oral (f. receiving), unprotected sex (regency protection is goofy mb), mc experiences crazy overstimulation, corruption kink (!!!), more tba

a u t h o r ' s n o t e : bonjour hola bridgerton s4 sneak peak dropped which means i ofc had to drop a sneak peak of my own !! even tho i am over a week late !! send an ask if you wish to be tagged! hope you enjoy the teaser ;)

playlist | series masterlist | main masterlist

"WHERE DID YOU FIND THIS?"

Involuntarily your eyes flickered to the table, and he followed, turning his head to the study, which he noticed immediately was tidied—tampered with. "You went through my things?”

“I did not mean to!” you exclaimed, gaping at his sudden charge towards the desk, you hot at his heels. “I just thought it looked like a mess, so I tried cleaning it—”

“You are not a servant,” he cut off, darting over the new order of his account books, as well as the fiction which you had assembled. “You are not required to look after me like that.”

“I know, but—”

“And sneaking out with my possessions? Without my permission?” He smacked the book on the table, making you flinch. “I thought you better than that.”

You were better than that—well, at least until tonight. You ransacked your mind for an excuse, any form of escape, except your words were absolutely pathetic. “You have never minded me reading your novels before,” you attempted. “In fact, you encouraged me to scour your shelves.”

He looked at the book again—a moment too long—and went back to set a slight glare upon you. “Well, my journal is not a trivial novel. It was private…not meant for you.”

You knew that. What did not settle well, though, was that your dearest friend, who had shared his every worry, his every confession to you, had been doing things you had no inkling of, things that incited such…extraordinary feelings from you. 

You had to know what more lay in those pages—and why you had felt the way you felt in those pages which your eyes did scour. “I read it.”

His glare faltered. “How much?”

That question was answered with another. “What was it, Joshua?” You stepped forward, a timid gesture, so you could catch a look at the hardback again. “I…I read some pages, and…what was she doing?”

His hand on his journal pushed it back. “I do not know.”

“Liar,” you got out, and he pursed his lips. You knew him irritatingly well. “You are keeping things from me.” 

“It is not keeping things from you,” he countered, frustration rising in his voice. “It is…protecting you from those…things.” 

“Tell me what those things are, Joshua,” you demanded, quietly but not softly. “It has rattled you enough. That has never happened to you.”

But he was silent. Eerily quiet, merely the rustle of his clothes, the soft thunk of his novella settled back with the French novels which raised your suspicions. A boundary made—a rejection established. 

Perhaps you would have respected it in another lifetime—in a world where you had not indulged your curiosity, set your eyes upon entities which were not for you to explore. Perhaps you would have respected it even if Joshua had offered to enlighten you—maybe blushed and ran away, and vowed never to look through his possessions again. 

The writings had rattled you, though, more than he realised. Social etiquette—good common sense would have expected you to respect his opinion, opinions of society, and drop the subject. 

Joshua Hong, however, was your greatest friend. No societal expectation could change that. 

So you opted to push the limits. Refuse the silence to be the end of this matter.

“I read enough, you know. To feel…” A pause. “I cannot even describe to you how I felt, because I have never felt that way before.” You tried to find the right words, a single confession out of order and he would stop listening—or so you thought. “There was an extract you wrote, Joshua, which had certain…descriptions…” Burning. Pleasure. Naked. Fire. Ecstasy. “There was a girl who was doing something. I am unsure what she was doing specifically, but…what she felt watching them…”

A soft exhale released from you, and almost instinctively Joshua released his own breath. “I think I…um, I think I felt a remnant of it.” 

He blurted out, barely a whisper, “You what?”

You looked at him—barely managed a nod. “I do not…don’t even know what she was doing with her fingers—” Joshua’s sudden coughing interrupted you, holding a fist to his lips to stop himself—“But whatever it was…I want to know what it was.” 

You watched the man stay deathly still, yet the emotions racing behind his face were certain. Not only were you rattled, but had passed this strange sensation to him. Had he never felt it before? You wondered, surprised by the similarity of his reaction to yours. 

He then responded to you, and you realised your mistake. “You cannot.”

Another boundary. Another opportunity to cross it. “Why?” This time, you stepped closer to him. “Why can I not know?” He was silent once more, and this time, you would not accept it. “Why are you hiding from me?”

“Because you are a lady!” he finally cut out, an agitated sigh coming straight after. “You are not to know such…such material.”

A lady…that you were aware of, but that still did not answer the question. Joshua watched, Joshua did whatever he had done to a lady. The answer was not good enough.

Judging by the increasing agitation in your friend’s countenance, he knew it too. It was at that point, though, when you truly noticed his harsh sighs, the tight fists—one at his mouth now trudging to the table, and the other secured at his hip—figure rigid. How affected he was by your questioning.

As if he mirrored the same sensations as you experienced.

“Is it…” You pursed your lips. “Is it because you were feeling them too?” 

A blink back—the only recognition of shock. You held onto this, continuing, “Tell me the truth, Joshua. You said yourself, no? That a lady cannot know, but you did not say a gentleman cannot either. You were feeling it too, were you not?”

His eyes were widening with your every word, and he stepped back, almost as if to run away. You did not need an answer from him now—it was abundantly clear that he had undergone such passions, as if it was not certain as you read it. There was only one question left in your arsenal now.

Joshua could have collapsed to the study floor. He heard the questions, and suddenly all he could do was gape at you. The determined curiosity in your eyes, the resolute stature of your body, closer than he last remembered. Oh, he would die before answering such a thing to you. He could not. He could not. 

“_____, it is late,” he began after a long time. The slight hope on your face leaving instinctively dampened his spirits. “It is already rash that you came here without a chaperone and I refuse to let you become the centre of ill conversation.”

And there it was. The supposed end. 

You did not realise how disappointed you were until you found your voice again, much graver than you expected. “So that is how it will be.”

Fine. If your best friend would not entrust you with such information, you would find the next person who would not be so apprehensive. A fortunate situation that you already had a man in mind.

As you turned on your heel, you heard him ask, “Where are you going?”

You did not stop your walk away, looking over your shoulder as you retorted, “To Soonyoung. At least he will be honest with me, if you choose not to be.”

He must have said something, but you did not deign to hear, only looking to the door, which was slightly ajar. You held your hand out, ready to open it further. 

Another force—another hand, larger than yours, slammed the door shut, jumping you out of your skin. Quickly you swivelled to see Joshua, breathing slightly uneven as his hand stayed right beside your head, resting against the wood. “Good God,” you got out, “What was that for?”

“You cannot go to Soonyoung,” he said instead, gaze frantic. 

You furrowed your brows. “Why?” 

He frowned. He could tell from your irritation that you assumed it was jealousy, a worse morphing of cowardice. It was not jealousy—nothing like that. Soonyoung was like a brother to him, and he knew that if there was anyone else you could have gone to without eliciting scandal, then it was that eccentric. He would explain everything to his friend, and be done with it without furthering his own curiosity. 

With that in mind, he would also tell you everything. Joshua was aware that there were skeletons in the closet of such matters, and your door was already slightly ajar. Should you go to Soonyoung to seek counsel, he would break down the doors, and suffocate you with the bones of such sensitive information.

What you asked was no normal feat. What you asked was sensitive. Precious. Soonyoung was trustworthy, but he was not careful. 

Joshua, on the other hand, was careful. Very careful, if he thought so himself. 

“He would not…explain it properly,” he offered instead. 

“At least he will explain it,” you countered, twisting your mouth. “I’d rather something than nothing at all.” 

His brows knitted together, desperation rising. “You have to understand me, _____.”

“Not after this.” You tried to avert his gaze, but his eyes—for the very first time—were incredibly hard to ignore. “Let me out the door.”

His reply, although perturbed, was clear. “I cannot.”

“Then tell me, Joshua,” you demanded. “Tell me what she was doing.” 

He should have stayed silent forever. What he should have done—as a gentleman, as you yourself had deemed him—was keep his mouth shut. 

A semblance of his sanity slipped once he uttered the fated words.

“She was touching herself.”

s e r i e s t a g l i s t : @hyuckworld @smiileflower @ourkivee @alyssa19123456 @xylatox @lexyraeworld @fancypeacepersona @tjjth @zezedoesshit @ochidize @sankriin @okiedokrie-main @reiofsuns2001 @gyuguys @livixxn @livelaughloveseventeen @peepeepoopooharrie @shinaely @uhdrienne @maple249

[nightingale-prompts]

Batboy Missing

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Danny despite everything still liked acting on his own. He needed some space.

Bludhaven was his stomping ground now but it wouldn't be so bad to secretly fly into Gotham. Definitely not to see the other robins or anything. Especially not to see Red Robin.

They may have met briefly some time ago on a rooftop.

Dick didn't even tell him that Red Robin was his age and was cute. Dick already didn't like it when Danny said he thought Tim was attractive. Honestly, he had no room to talk he dated Barbara. It wouldn't be weird if he didn't overthink it.

Still, Red Robin was definitely his type. Then again if he had a dine for every red vigilante he had a crush on he would have 2 dime and well you know the rest.

Danny found it hard not to think about their first meeting.

"Wow, you are much more stunning up close."

The voice came from none other than Red Robin who almost snuck up on Danny who had let him approach.

Danny wondered what exactly the teen was seeing when he looked at Danny.

Red Robin eyed Danny with an intense probing curiosity. Not like how a scientist looks at a butterfly pinned to a board but like a photographer eyes a wild animal. Respect, awe, and excitement.

"You aren't so bad yourself," Danny responded keeping a healthy distance between them.

"Batboy right? I'm Red Robin. Call me Red." He held put his hand to shake.

"Batboy. Call me...uh...Batboy." Danny said awkwardly.

Red Robin seemed to get closer and closer when Danny wasn't looking directly at him.

It was throwing Danny off because the moment had gotten too close his wings reflexively unwrapped from around his shoulders.

"I was right, fruitbat wings. But they connect to your back, not your arms. Like having two sets of arms." Red Robin mumbled as he slid a gloved hand down one wing.

"He-Hey! You shouldn't touch a bat's wings like that." Danny shivered, his face was on fire.

"Oh, are your wings sensitive?"Red Robin teased pulling back and holding up his hands in feigned innocence. "Or is it that it's too personal? Should I buy you dinner first?"

Danny wanted to be upset but he felt the opposite. Maybe because it felt like the teen was playing with him.

Their meet-cute was ended quickly unfortunately since an emergency came up on Robin's end.

That's not why Danny is visiting Gotham. He could just be trying to see the other Robin or Batgirl. Batgirl is cool.

Danny stealthed his way through Gotham towards Crime Alley when a dark shadow was spotted nearby. Danny immediately dropped into an alleyway assuming it was Batman and trying to avoid him.

The young bat knew it was unwise to spread his wings here. They were too liable to get caught in the narrows. He shifted his wings away but he needed something else to help him. Sure he still had his ghost powers, but here in Gotham using them too much risked getting the eyes of the spirits here. Not to mention the Observers. Danny knew to limit his abilities and not overstep boundaries. Danny could only rely on shifting since it was considered a secondary ability.

Danny tried to remember any anatomy he had memorized that could help him. Shifting is very complicated and seeing something isn't always enough, he needed to know the function the further removed it was from his human form.

As Danny rethought his next move someone had sensed him. Red Hood was prowling the area.

Red Hood wasn't completely unaware of Batboy. He knew little of what was going on in Bludhaven but social media was an explosion of posts about Batboy the new sidekick to Nightwing. But the only thing he really knew about the teen was that he had giant bat wings.

The kid that is currently wandering around the alley does not have batwings.

It was just a kid hiding behind a dumbster and about to get mugged.

He was going to save the kid but it wasn't necessary as he watched the kid kick the would-be robber in the face.

When Hood finally got close enough to talk to the kid as he stood over the fallen man he saw a set of Lazarus green eyes shine in the dark like a cat.

Creepy.

A sinking sense of dread seemed to shroud him before passing through him like a cold breeze.

The green-eyed kid stared into his soul as he crept closer. A pull in his chest towards him bubbled inside like a cauldron of oil.

The white-haired teen looked at him with a deep weary sorrow. Without warning Jason felt arms wrap around his shoulders as the teen hugged him. Deep inside of Jason, he felt something settle.

"Im so sorry." The boy said "Let me help."

Without another word the teen pushed his hand into Jason's chest. Just through his body without resistance.

"What the hell are you-" Jason didn't finish as a foul brackish fluid came out of his mouth.

"This filth is not your own. It is polluting you." He said pulling his hand out. "Catch your breath. Slowly. In and out."

Jason felt like a heavy weight was lifted off his chest. Like this was his first breath of air since his revival.

In the teen's hand was a blob of black tar that he rolled into a ball before promptly popping it into his mouth.

"Ew." Jason said.

"Don't judge me. It tastes disgusting but if it isn't consumed it'll infect someone else." He said.

"What are you?"

"....a ghost." The teen paused before responding as if not knowing what to call himself.

"A ghost? As in undead?" Jason knew this had to be some kind of serial joke. It had to be.

"I don't make the rules. I'm a ghost. And you are a revenant. You are just a more alive version of me. Closer to life than death." The teen said.

"Who are you then?" Jason asked this time calmer as he steadied his nerves.

"Call me Phantom for now. I'm just trying to hide from Batman. I don't want him trying anything." Phantom said going back to looking for Batman.

Jason still had questions for Phantom.

"Alright follow me then. The Bat isnt welcome around here and I have a safe house you can wait out in." Jason sighed turning to leave.

The teen seemed to get that Jason wasn't going to hurt him and followed.

*Dick back in Bludhaven*

"Where is my baby?!"

[writingunderneathawillow]

protective (Logan howlett x fem!reader)

content warnings: sfw + nsfw (graphic, safe word, aftercare), minors look away word count: 762 a/n: i’m such a sucker for logan atm, especially protective logan so here are some head canons

sfw logan positioning himself between you and every. other. person. no matter who walks by, whether they’re even looking at you or not, logan shifts in front of you or pulls you behind him no one would ever be able to reach you the second logan towers before you, sharp eyes set on anyone who passes you even in moments of calm in the mansion, he makes sure that any potential impact can be absorbed by him. busy students who have to catch their next class on time and aren’t mindful of their surroundings? logan has an arm wrapped around you, keeping you between him and the wall. hank comes up to you to talk about grading papers? well, he’ll just have to have that conversation with you while peering over logan’s shoulder to catch sight of you. clothes were a sensitive topic. you didn’t like it when he told you what to wear and what not to wear and he didn’t like it when you were unhappy with him, so he truly tried to keep it to a minimum. only every now and then, he’d raise an eyebrow at a pair of shorts or a deep cut shirt, displaying what he clearly considered his and only his. a short glance of his was usually enough to make you sigh and change into something he deemed more appropriate – but often enough you put your foot down. then he’d simply hover by your side for the rest of the day, adjusting the fabric over your chest every now and then or pulling your skirt down a little, stepping behind you when you picked something up from the ground. he loved you drunk. he loved you sober more but something about you in this endearing state, stumbling over your own feet and giggling at things you’d usually roll your eyes at, it really got to him. he would put his arm around you, keeping you upright and tightly pressed to his side. at the end of the night, he’d place a soft kiss on your forehead after making you drink a glass of water and already put down a bottle of tylenol for you on the bedside table. no funny business when you were that intoxicated even though the flush of the alcohol in your cheeks warmed his core more than he could handle. you’re ill? logan’s just studied medicine within seconds. he looks like a walking infirmary, packs of tissues and cough drops in every pocket, ready to whip out whatever you need the second you’re feeling just the tiniest bit off. the way that man attempts to make soup, only to then have to resort to store bought broth. but hey, points for trying! he knows when you have to take your medication and keeps an eye on you, making sure you actually do it. tender words of adoration leave his lips when you feel bad, he’d do anything to soothe away all traces of illness

nsfw (bye bye minors) logan is an animal in bed. you’re lucky if you can walk the next day, feeling your insides rearranged and shaped to every indent of his cock :) but he never goes beyond your limits. he constantly checks in when you’re high on his touch, when he’s finger deep in you, when he splits you in half he loves to see your eyes well up when your lips are wrapped around his massive length, taking him as deep into your throat as possible and can’t help but put a tender hand on your cheek to wipe away any tears that spill safe word usage (a/n: i wrote a drabble about this hehehe) you have a safe word with him and you’ve only had to make use of it once he made you pick it out the first time you slept together, insisting that he would feel more comfortable if you chose one and so you did. the second the word left your lips, he stopped moving. “you ok, baby? i’m just gonna pull out, darlin’.” afterwards, he’s so sweet. bringing you a shirt and softly kissing your forehead. thanking you for telling him, for trusting him to stop, ensuring that he’s proud of you for vocalising your boundaries aftercare king, i won’t hear anyone out the second he slips out of you, he rests a soothing hand on your tummy, your head, any part of you, stroking softly over your heated skin. he makes you drink water, checks in and kisses any bruises, love bites and hickeys that his strong grip left on you

thank you for reading :) gentle reminder that likes are more than appreciated but comments and reblogs make the dream work

[reidmarieprentiss]

Meet My Friends

Summary: Spencer says he's keeping your relationship a secret for your safety, but why does it feel like he's just hiding you?

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: hurt/comfort, angst, some fluff

Warnings/Includes: insecurities (both), hiding your partner, arguments, accusations

Word count: 4k

a/n: i've been reading so many fics about being Spencer's secret girlfriend and i just don't know how i would react

main masterlist

The thought had been lingering in your mind for months, an uncomfortable weight settling deeper in your chest with each passing day. You had told yourself it didn’t matter—that you didn’t need validation from his team, that as long as you and Spencer were happy together, that was enough.

But it wasn’t.

No matter how much you tried to push it aside, no matter how many times you told yourself that Spencer had his reasons, it didn’t change the fact that after over a year together, you hadn’t met the people who meant the most to him outside of you.

At first, you hadn’t questioned it. Spencer wasn’t the type to rush things, and given what he had been through, you had understood his hesitation. You had listened with patience when he explained why he kept his personal life separate from his work. It wasn’t that he was ashamed of you. It wasn’t that he didn’t want you in that part of his world. It was simply about safety.

After Maeve… after what had happened to her… Spencer couldn’t take the risk.

And you had nodded, told him you understood, and reassured him that you weren’t upset. At the time, you hadn’t been. It made sense. He had lost someone he loved in the most horrific way imaginable. You couldn’t imagine what it had done to him. So you had accepted it, letting him set the boundary.

But as time went on, that boundary didn’t budge.

It had been creeping into quiet moments, seeping into the cracks of your thoughts no matter how much you tried to push it away. You had told yourself you understood. That Spencer had been through things you couldn’t even begin to fathom. That he wasn’t keeping you a secret out of shame but out of fear.

And you had accepted that—at least, at first.

But as time passed, his justifications felt more like excuses. Not only had you never met his team, but he hadn’t even told them you existed. Not Hotch. Not JJ. Not even Ethan, his best friend. And worst of all, not his mother.

The realization hit you hard, churning inside you like a slow-moving storm. It wasn’t just about meeting them anymore. It was about the fact that he didn’t even speak your name to the most important people in his life. If something happened to him, they wouldn’t even know to call you.

That thought hurt more than you could have imagined.

Even when you spent countless nights in his arms, listening to his stories about his team.

Even when he came home exhausted from a case, trusting you enough to let you hold him through the nightmares.

Even when you whispered “I love you” into his skin, and he whispered it back like a promise.

You were a part of his life in every other way. But in this—one of the most important parts of him—you didn’t exist.

And now, as you sat across from him in your dimly lit apartment, watching the way he absentmindedly turned the pages of his book, you knew you couldn’t keep pretending it didn’t bother you.

Not anymore.

You took a breath, forcing your voice to remain steady as you finally said, “Spencer.”

He hummed in response, not looking up from the page.

You swallowed, forcing the words out. “Can I ask you something without you shutting down on me?”

That got his attention. His eyes flickered up, scanning your face, and immediately, you saw the way his posture changed. He closed the book carefully, setting it aside. “Of course,” he said, his voice cautious.

You hesitated, your fingers curling around the fabric of your sweater. “Why don’t you want me to meet your team?”

The room seemed to shrink around you. Spencer exhaled, pressing his lips together before shaking his head slightly. “We’ve talked about this.”

“I know,” you said quickly, before he could pull away from the conversation entirely. “And I’ve tried to be understanding. I get that you want to keep me safe. I know what happened with…” You trailed off, the lump in your throat making it impossible to finish.

Spencer’s jaw clenched.

You softened your tone, leaning forward. “I’m not asking to be reckless. I just… It’s been over a year. They’re like your family. And I feel like…” You sighed, struggling to find the right words. “I feel like I don’t exist in that part of your life.”

Spencer rubbed his hands together, staring down at them. He was quiet for a long moment before finally speaking, his voice tight. “You do exist. You’re the most important part.”

“Then why won’t you let me in?” The hurt bled into your voice before you could stop it. “Do they even know about me?”

His head snapped up, his eyes wide. “Of—of course they do.”

“Do they?” you asked, your voice sharper than you intended. “Why haven’t you told anyone about me? Your team. Your mom. Even Ethan. Nobody knows about me.”

His expression darkened, his jaw tightening. “You agreed. We’ve talked about this.”

“No,” you corrected gently. “We’ve talked about me meeting them. But this isn’t about that. This is about the fact that they don’t even know I exist.”

Spencer sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “You know why I don’t want to tell anyone.”

You nodded, trying to keep your voice calm despite the ache blooming in your chest. “Because you’re afraid for my safety. I know. But Spencer… how do you think that makes me feel? When you won’t even tell your own mother about me?”

His lips parted slightly, like he wanted to argue, but no words came.

“The most important people in your life have no idea I exist,” you continued, your voice wavering just slightly. “I try so hard to be understanding, but—” You exhaled sharply, pressing your lips together for a moment before whispering, “It feels like you’re ashamed of me.”

Spencer’s eyes widened, panic flashing across his face. “No,” he said immediately. “No, it’s not that. I’m not embarrassed, I swear.”

“Then why?” you asked, your voice cracking despite your best efforts.

“Because I don’t want you to be in danger, not because I’m ashamed!” he snapped, the desperation in his voice raw and unfiltered.

You stared at him, your heart pounding. “Well, Spencer,” you said quietly, pain lacing every syllable, “it’s not looking like that right now.”

Spencer flinched at that. “That’s not fair.”

“I don’t mean to be unfair,” you said, your voice breaking slightly. “I just don’t understand. They all have people in their lives. I’m sure they’ve all dated, gotten married, had kids—whatever. But you and me? It’s like I don’t belong in that part of your world.”

Spencer exhaled, his fingers twitching like he wanted to reach for you but didn’t know how. “Because I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Your heart ached at that. “I know,” you whispered. “But keeping me out doesn’t mean I won’t be.”

His lips parted, but he hesitated.

You took a shaky breath. “I don’t want to feel like I’m only allowed into pieces of your life. I want to be part of all of it.”

Spencer swallowed hard. “I don’t know if I can do that.”

The admission nearly knocked the air from your lungs.

You stood up abruptly, running a hand through your hair as you exhaled shakily. “I think I’m going to—I’m leaving for the night.”

Spencer’s face fell instantly, his whole body tensing as he reached for you, fingers brushing against your wrist in a desperate attempt to pull you back.

But you snatched your body away before he could touch you.

“I’m just—I’m very frustrated right now,” you said, trying to steady your voice. “And I want to get my thoughts together. Okay? I love you.”

Spencer nodded slowly, defeated. “I love you too.”

And then you walked out the door, leaving behind the quiet sound of his unsteady breathing.

—

You barely reached your car before the first fat tears started slipping down your cheeks, blurring your vision as you fumbled with your keys. Your breath hitched as you sat in the driver’s seat, gripping the steering wheel so tightly your knuckles turned white. You had held yourself together as best as possible in front of Spencer, but now that you were alone, the emotions came crashing down in waves, relentless and unforgiving.

Once the tears started, they didn’t stop.

Your shoulders shook as quiet sobs wracked your body, your mind replaying the conversation over and over again. His hesitation. His fear. The way he had looked at you like he was terrified of losing you but still too afraid to let you in.

You swiped at your face, forcing yourself to take slow, uneven breaths. You needed somewhere to go. You weren’t ready to be alone, not when your mind was spinning, or the weight of everything felt suffocating.

With trembling fingers, you unlocked your phone and opened your messages, scrolling until you found the one person you knew you could turn to: Jaz.

Hey, are you awake?

You stared at the screen, watching as the message was sent, hoping—praying—that she would respond quickly. She was your closest friend in the area, the person you could trust to be there when you needed comfort.

But your heart sank as the seconds stretched into minutes with no reply.

You sniffled, biting your lip as you thought of your next best option. It wasn’t like you had many people to turn to—not when Spencer had kept you so separate from his world. But there was one person who had always been good to you and never made you feel like you didn’t belong.

Andrews.

You pulled up his contact without overthinking it and sent a quick message.

Hey, I know it’s late, but can I crash on your couch?

Unlike Jaz, Andrews responded almost immediately.

Yeah, of course. Door’s unlocked.

No questions. No hesitation.

Just a simple reassurance that you had somewhere to go.

You exhaled shakily, momentarily clutching your phone to your chest as fresh tears welled in your eyes—not from sadness this time, but gratitude.

You didn’t have much right now. But at least you weren’t completely alone.

—

The night at Andrews’ went just as planned. No questions, no expectations—just quiet understanding. When you arrived, eyes still puffy and your shoulders drawn tight with exhaustion, he didn’t press you for details. He simply opened the door wider, letting you in without a word.

Andrews greeted you with a warm hug, one of those steady, grounding embraces that let you breathe a little easier, if only for a moment. Then he handed you a blanket and a glass of water before patting your shoulder and saying, “Get some rest, okay?”

That was it. No interrogation, no prying curiosity. Just the comfort of knowing you had somewhere safe to be.

It wouldn’t take a profiler to see that something was going on in your life—something heavy, something painful—that you weren’t ready to talk about. And Andrews, perceptive as ever, didn’t push.

You curled up on his couch, pulling the blanket tightly around yourself as you stared at the ceiling, your mind still spinning. The events of the night replayed in your head like a broken record—the way Spencer had looked at you, desperate and afraid, but still unwilling to change. The way you had walked away, not because you wanted to, but because you needed to.

You squeezed your eyes shut, willing the tears to stop, willing sleep to come.

But even wrapped in warmth and the quiet safety of Andrews’ apartment, your heart still ached in a way you didn’t know how to fix.

—

When Spencer arrived home that evening you were expecting him to still give you space. After the way things were left, you assumed he would need time to process, think, and figure out what he wanted.

But when he walked inside, you were met with something entirely different.

“You went to Andrews’??”

Spencer’s voice was sharp, filled with an emotion you couldn’t immediately place, but it made you freeze where you were standing. He was clearly ready for you, his arms crossed over his chest. His expression was tense, eyes burning with something that felt too close to betrayal.

You frowned, setting your book down. “Yes? What’s so bad about that?”

“What’s so bad?” he repeated, incredulous. “You were frustrated and emotional, and you sought out another man?”

You blinked at him, stunned. “He’s my friend, Spencer! I just crashed on his couch. It’s not a big deal.”

“It is a big deal!”

“Why?” you demanded, throwing your hands up.

“Because I was worried sick, you never told me where you went and—” His voice cracked slightly before he caught himself, raking a hand through his hair. “And maybe I was right to be worried! You were with another man!”

“Jesus Christ, Spencer!” you yelled, your frustration boiling over. “I. Slept. On. The. Couch.” You gritted the words out, enunciating them sharply so there would be no room for misinterpretation.

Spencer let out a bitter scoff, shaking his head as he looked away, clearly feeling hurt and emotional. “Anywhere but here, yeah?”

“That’s a bit dramatic,” you muttered, folding your arms over your chest.

Spencer’s jaw tightened as he exhaled sharply, his hands twitching at his sides. “How did you even know where I was?” you asked, realization dawning on you.

His entire body went stiff. His face turned red as he realized his mistake, and you watched as he sighed in resignation, his shoulders sinking.

“Penelope hacked your phone a while ago… shared your location with me.” His voice was quiet, almost sheepish. “I—I told her you were my cousin, that I was worried about you.”

Your eyes widened in disbelief. “You what?”

Spencer winced, shifting uncomfortably. “I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”

“You lied to Penelope and had her hack my phone?” You stared at him, a mix of anger and exasperation flooding your system. “Are you serious right now?”

Spencer swallowed hard, looking guiltier by the second. “I—I just needed to know you were okay.”

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “Safe? Or just finding another way to put me in your fucking box?”

His silence was deafening. His lips parted slightly like he wanted to argue, to fight back, but nothing came out. Nothing but the guilt flickering behind his eyes.

That was all the confirmation you needed.

You exhaled sharply, raking a hand through your hair as you tried to steady yourself, but the frustration, the hurt—it was too much. “Unbelievable,” you muttered, pacing away from him just to get some distance, to keep from saying something you couldn’t take back.

Spencer shifted uneasily, his arms wrapping around himself like he was trying to hold himself together. “I was worried about you,” he said, voice tight.

“No,” you shot back, spinning around to face him. “You didn’t trust me.”

Spencer flinched, his face crumpling slightly before he forced himself to stand his ground. “I do trust you,” he insisted, but the words didn’t carry the conviction they should have.

You scoffed. “No, you don’t. If you trusted me, you wouldn’t have done this. You wouldn’t have had Penelope hack my phone just so you could keep tabs on me.” Your voice was rising now, the heat of the moment overtaking you. “And you were so damn quick to assume the worst. You didn’t even ask me where I went, Spencer. You just decided for yourself that I was—what? Running off to cheat on you?”

Spencer shook his head violently, eyes wide with emotion. “That’s not what I thought—”

“Then what?” you pressed, stepping closer, refusing to let him weasel his way out of this. “What was it, then? Because right now, it just looks like you needed to control something. And when I walked away, when I made a choice you didn’t like, you went behind my back and found another way to keep me under your thumb.”

Spencer swallowed hard, his throat bobbing as his breathing turned uneven. “I just—I can’t lose you,” he whispered, barely audible.

You let out a sharp breath, feeling the weight of those words settles between you like a loaded gun. His voice was thick with fear, his body tense with the kind of desperation that made your chest ache.

But that desperation didn’t excuse what he had done.

“And what, Spencer?” you asked quietly, exhaustion creeping into your voice. “You think the best way to keep me is by trapping me? By making sure I have nowhere else to go?”

You closed your eyes briefly, trying to hold yourself together, but your hands were shaking, your heart pounding in a way that made you feel small. Smaller than you ever wanted to feel.

“I have no friends here other than Jaz and Andrew, who I barely see,” you began, your voice rising as frustration bled into every syllable. You started pacing the floor in a tight line, your body too tense to stay still. “All of my family is on the other side of the country,” you continued, your breath coming faster, the weight of it all pressing down on you.

Spencer stood frozen, watching you with wide eyes, his fingers twitching at his sides like he wanted to reach for you but knew he shouldn’t.

You let out a bitter laugh, shaking your head. “I work from home—at your suggestion! I am totally isolated!” The words cracked as they left your lips, your chest heaving as the truth you had been trying to ignore finally poured out.

Spencer paled, his jaw tightening. “That’s not—”

“It is,” you cut in sharply, your hands gesturing wildly. “It is, Spencer. You’ve built this little world for us, this perfectly safe little bubble where I don’t exist to anyone but you.” Your voice trembled, raw with emotion. “And I let it happen. I didn’t even see it happening.” You exhaled shakily, running a hand through your hair, your thoughts spiraling as the realization settled deep in your bones.

Spencer shook his head frantically, his breathing uneven. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean for it to be like that.”

“Then what did you mean for it to be, Spencer?” Your voice cracked as you stopped pacing, turning to face him. “Because this? This isn’t love. This is isolation.”

His entire body tensed like he had been struck. “That’s not true, I love you,” he whispered, but he sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than you.

You let out a humorless laugh. “Tell me, Spencer. If I left right now—if I just walked away—who would even notice?” You swallowed hard, your throat thick with emotion. “Who would even know that I was gone?”

“I would notice!” Spencer blurted out, his voice cracking, his entire body taut with emotion. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, his breathing uneven, like he was holding himself together by a thread.

You let out a bitter, humorless laugh, shaking your head as the sheer absurdity of it all crashed over you. “Of course, you would!” you snapped, your voice shaking with anger and exhaustion. “You’re the only person who even knows I’m alive!”

Spencer flinched at your words as if they had physically struck him. His eyes darted across your face, desperate, pleading, but you weren’t backing down this time.

“You killed me, Spencer,” you finally realized, your voice barely above a whisper, the weight of the words settling deep in your chest.

Spencer’s breath hitched, his entire body going rigid. “What?”

“You were so adamant about protecting me,” you continued, your voice gaining strength, trembling with the sheer force of your emotions, “that you made it so no one—no psycho, no normal human—would ever notice me.” You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself as the gravity of it all crashed over you. “You didn’t just keep me safe, Spencer. You erased me.”

Spencer took a step forward, his face contorted with panic, his hands reaching out like he could somehow undo everything with a single touch. “No,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean to.”

“But you did,” you said, your tone sharper now, more raw. “You pulled me into your world and locked the doors behind me. You made sure I had no one but you.” You let out a sharp, bitter laugh, the realization settling deep into your bones. “And you think that’s love?”

Spencer’s breathing was uneven, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. “I do love you,” he said desperately.

You swallowed hard, your own eyes burning as you looked at him, the man you loved—the man you still loved despite all of this. But love wasn’t enough.

“Then why does it feel like I’m drowning?” you whispered.

Spencer inhaled sharply, but he had no answer. No explanation. Nothing but the crushing weight of silence between you.

Spencer’s mind was working in overdrive, the weight of your words crashing into him with the force of a freight train. And the worst part? You were right.

Completely and utterly right.

He had ruined your life.

He hadn’t meant to. He had thought he was protecting you, keeping you safe from the dangers he saw in every shadow. But in doing so, he had trapped you in a world where you barely existed beyond the walls of your own home, beyond him.

His breath was coming faster now, his hands trembling at his sides as the reality of what he had done settled deep in his chest. He felt sick.

You watched him, your arms still wrapped around you like you were trying to hold yourself together, your face etched with exhaustion and something far worse—defeat.

He had done this.

Spencer swallowed hard, his voice barely steady as he finally spoke. “I—I understand if you need to leave.” His throat felt tight like the words physically hurt to say. “If you want to go reclaim your life…” His voice cracked, but he forced himself to continue. “I won’t stop you.”

You blinked at him, surprise flickering across your features.

“But if you stay…” He took a shaky breath, stepping forward, his heart pounding violently in his chest. “I’ll tell them. I’ll tell everyone. I don’t want to hide you anymore—I never should have.” His voice was raw, filled with regret so heavy it nearly swallowed him whole. He met your eyes, desperate for you to see the sincerity there. “You’re way too good to keep from the world.”

Silence stretched between you, thick with uncertainty, with the weight of everything that had been said.

Spencer searched your face, terrified of what he might find—of the moment you would shake your head, tell him it was too little, too late.

But you didn’t.

Not yet.

And that meant there was still hope.

“Call Diana,” you said, your voice softer now, steadier. “Let’s do it together.”

Spencer’s head snapped up so fast you almost heard it crack. His eyes were wide, searching your face for any sign that you weren’t serious. “You—you mean it?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper like he was afraid to hope.

You crossed your arms, tilting your head slightly. “Right now or so help me,” you warned, but your lips curved into a small, teasing grin—one that was laced with truth.

Spencer exhaled sharply, something between a laugh and a disbelieving breath of relief. “Okay,” he nodded quickly, scrambling for his phone. His fingers trembled slightly as he unlocked it, pulling up his mother’s number.

“And the team tomorrow,” you added firmly, raising a brow as you watched him.

Spencer froze for just a second before nodding again, determination settling over him. “Tomorrow,” he echoed.

You moved closer, placing a steady hand over his to still his shaking fingers. His eyes flickered up to meet yours, vulnerable and open, filled with something that looked suspiciously like awe.

“Together,” you murmured.

Spencer swallowed hard, nodding once more before pressing the call button.

And as the line rang, for the first time in a long time, you finally felt seen.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

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[straightouttherosebush]

♡Licking Love off of Knives♡

Characters: Leona Kingscholar, Vil Schoenheit, Jamil Viper, Idia Shroud

Synopsis: These guys seem likely to degrade their partner, but how would they do it?

Content Warning: AFAB/Female! Reader, "Queen" used as gender neutral, NSFW themes (Degradation (verbal, sexual, physical), rough sex, vaginal sex, foot play (not necessarily fetish? Like, Vil uses kissing his boots to humiliate reader, idk you decide), bondage (shibari pretty much), oral (male anatomy), I must add that all characters are written to be 18 or over and that all of the actions happening here are consensual and any BDSM should be practiced with someone you 100% trust and have set boundaries with :D)

♡ Leona seems like the most likely to degrade his partner. Gloved fingers in your mouth or around your neck, squeezing, his mostly clothed body flush against your naked one. Bullying his cock into you while growling in your ear that you're a stupid slut good for nothing but taking his dick, if even that. Don't try to pull away because you're scared of the pain, either. You're fucking lucky, you should be grateful to be hooking up with a prince, of all things. He'll hold you in place and you'll be able to feel his long nails through his gloves as he tries to work himself inside your tight hole. Where the fuck do you think you're going, you pathetic whore? You wanted this. You had the audacity to tease him, after all. Little human cunt unable to handle beastman cock, crying like a little bitch and grunting from the pain of him stretching you out. He thought you were tougher than that! Where is that spunk? All growl and no bite, herbivore?

♡ You aren't getting what you want until Vil's whims are satisfied. This was your first time with him, but he realized that with every insult, you'd get a little... worked up. At least, as far as he could tell. Why else do you flush when he's harsh with you during dance practice? Why else do you clench your legs together as he dissects everything you did wrong and bluntly relays it to you? His mean words are divine, not even vulgar, and mixed with his voice? You are simply obliged to obey. He had his chin tucked into his collar as he looked down on you. His elegant legs were crossed and his eyes glared daggers into yours. Is it so hard to do? Did he expect too much of you? He must have if you are so incompetent as to not know how to properly pose. All he wants you to do is nuzzle up to the foot of his thigh-high boot and kiss it. That's all. He just wants you to worship him and keep a memento of your grovelling, but if you can't do that, maybe you don't deserve his long fingers inside you, hitting that spot inside of you just right as they curl. The moment you lay a kiss onto the toe cap and start kissing your way up the latex to his thigh, he starts smirking. His eyes, sharp as ever, coldly taking in your pathetic visage. As you make your way up to his thigh, your eyes plead with him as you let out a hushed "please, my Queen." He looks at you with squinted eyes and a wry smile, and scoffs. He didn't get that on camera, so let's try that again. For the millionth time. He doesn't think he stuttered, either. Get back down there.

♡ You've been tied up in Jamil's room for 30 minutes now. Masterfully tied red ropes adorned your body as you lay on his bed, legs forced open and arms tied behind your back. He was trying to work, and you were all over him constantly. And since you can't manage yourself around him, this is your punishment. Tut, tut, it's only been thirty minutes. Can't handle that much? Too bad. He still had studying to do and other duties to attend to even after that, so you had better get a grip on yourself quick, lest you be stuck there until Jamil turns in for the night. While he is able to remain focused, he will rarely glance over and flash a conceited smirk at you. Hearing you whimper and beg every so often was music to his ears, but he can't have that impeding him either. Your incessant whining is also now becoming a distraction. He suggests you cease it before he gags you. And that he does. With your own wet panties. Scarlet, just for him. Can you taste yourself? See how desperate and stupid you are for him? How absolutely cockdrunk you are and he hasn't even let you have it in weeks? So weak willed... and only for him, right? Come on, admit it. This is the only time he wants you to open your whore mouth. Oh wait! You can't! Oh well. But then he hears a few knocks on his door. Thankfully, he locked it, and you're so lucky he did. What's that? Kalim is asking for Jamil to start on dinner and wants you to dine with them? Ugh, fine. He supposes he can untie you and let you partake in the privilege of dining with the rest of the dorm at his side. But he does not forget, nor does he easily forgive.

Idia isn't typically the meanest, usually he's too meek to be so cruel. Especially not to his doting partner, may the Seven forbid it. However, right now? He's in a game lobby talking about your lackluster "under-the-desk" support. Ever since he caught onto you liking his more arrogant, mean side, he has been using it like crazy. The more he insults the use of your teeth, the more sopping wet you become. You cost his team a game because he was carrying and had to stop you from biting down on him. Way to go, jackass. You better not be touching yourself either, you don't deserve that. The fact that you can hardly see his face from under the desk works wonders for his confidence. He could never say these things to your face. Sure, to any of the normies outside, he probably could. He'd backtrack, but he could still say it at first. But when he's locked in, he's locked the fuck IN. The tips of his hair were still flickering pink, but his voice sounded rougher and a bit angrier than usual. Usually, loser virgin Idia would be shooting blanks by now. God can't you do your job right? You're not even playing, you have one job, and He's nowhere close to finishing. He doesn't care if your jaw hurts, he can't just reach down there, grab your hair, and fuck your face in the middle of a match. Can't. Love to, but can't.

Hello once again!!! I've had these headcanons for a bit so I worked them into little scenarios and I hope you guys enjoyed them! I put actual research into this chapter because as much as I am a degradee, I kinda felt like I was missing something. :>

I really don't know what came over me while writing Vil's part, I blacked tf OUT. I was thinking about the vampire Vil design while writing it because great GOOGLY MOOGLY, y'know?

I MIGHT also do a post on the characters I think would praise/worship their partners. Idk, heavy might.

Bye bye little shrimpies! ROSEY ♡

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Ⓒ Written by Rosey, please do not copy/repost/translate.♡