#he’d be GOOD at the shilling but that’s not his whole job

[wearenemies]

what do peterick each teach in this university lecturer au …. ?

this is a great and lovely question and i love you so much 👍 i would say patrick would be a constantly slightly wired music theory professor. i imagine that he’d come off as a little intimidating and strict, like he’d want to appear relatively professional and be as clearly good at his job as he can be, so i feel like he might be considered a little scary just by virtue of the fact that he’s mr professor guy, but if you catch him outside of class hours or email him for an extension and he’s totally the sweetest in lieu of pete’s ‘patrick looks like a teddy bear but really gets the fucking job done’. he’s mostly a lecturer but also does stuff with the school’s music societies (think conducting the college band and helping with the acapella group) i feel like he’s actively working on the most tedious sounding paper in the world but he’s SO excited about it and will take any opportunity to bring it up in conversation. i think he’d very rarely talk about his life outside of work because he’d like to ‘maintain a healthy work-life separation’ (plus he likes the drama of it) and thus he’s considered kind of an enigma. also pete bought him one of those ‘i have a phd (pretty huge dick)’ t shirts. he thinks he’s funny

pete would teach i think creative writing and he’d mostly do shorter workshops both for enrolled students and the wider local community (middle schools etc) focused more on getting people to enjoy the craft of writing something over doing it for a grade, but would still run regular traditional lectures and whatnot. he’d have a less traditionally professional professorial vibe than patrick, like he’d be wearing his big mohair cardigans and he’d be very forthcoming about his misguided youth in the hardcore scene and would frequently bring up and gush over his nameless partner. i imagine him being endearingly cringe in the how-do-you-do-fellow-kids manner and appearing a little frazzled and soft-spoken outside of his classes, because patrick has a significant leg up on him in the one-on-one conversation department. he’d always to an almost obnoxious degree be attempting to shill his bizarre novel but get bashful when it’s brought up to him <3

the way i imagine it being laid out as a piece of writing is focused on either a student who majors in some kind of music field and is taking one of pete’s shorter workshop classes as a supplemental credit because it looked fun, OR a relatively new co-worker of theirs. it’d take place over the course of around 3-4 months and primarily focus on this person’s ever so slightly unhealthy curiosity towards both the wider question of what patrick’s whole deal is outside of work and more specifically who on the faculty patrick is dating because he once made the mistake of letting slip that his partner worked at the same place as him <3 the conceit lies in the fact it’d be functionally completely unknown that they’re together amongst the student population and this would be maintained primarily through the fact that a) they seem very different in terms of their interests and behaviours b) they are rarely seen to interact because they teach mostly on different areas of campus c) patrick is crucially very private about his life and times d) pete despite otherwise being a total blabbermouth would refuse outright to speak on the subject because he loves and respects his special little man and e) 9/10 times it’s funnier to lie to people than it is to tell them the truth. so they’re functionally the pre-2019 dan and phil of chicago university lecturers

other facets of this universe include the fact that patrick has a bear pride flag sticker on his owala and his students struggle to discern whether or not he understands that it is in fact a pride flag sticker, and that pete keeps telling increasingly ambitious lies to his students about his life for the sake of his own sick entertainment. significantly, patrick won’t really be a singer: my vision for the backstory is that patrick did join pete and joe’s pop punk project but was too shy to do vocals and it fell apart after a few months but they all remained very close friends. i imagine that he does sing and does still have a beautiful voice, he’s just not really interested in doing anything with it 🫶

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Where they take you on vacation - 7 Brothers + Diavolo

Found out the edits are made by @devilgram​ who has such a beautiful blog and posts so many Obey Me! things that are so cool! You did a great job with all the edits! <3

LUCIFER

Lucifer would like to take you to Romania, mostly because of all the stories of the great Wallachian ruler Vlad Tepes/The Impaler and wants to find out more about his ruthless yet effective methods of insuring no crime happens in his country ( and hopes they will work on his brothers too ).

Apart from the gorgeous landscapes from the mountainside, the possibility to go to the seaside, or see the different types of regional architecture ( like the unique Black Church ) from different cities, he’d also like to get a full experience of the language, the music, the traditions ( customs, clothes, foo ) and feel for a day like a native from the old ages. 

Even more, he’d find it very nice if you were to try out one of the traditional outfits, and would take a picture of you at the mountains, on a nice field, and put the developed picture in his coat, looking at it whenever he is working and misses you.

He can get pretty salty about the fact that there are still people who believe the Bran castle is Dracula’s true castle, instead of the Poienari fortress and wouldn’t hesitate to express his displeasure, but would appreciate the castle and everything displayed there nonetheless.

Also, would be the first to go to the Horror house, holding your hand if you get scared, and would feel incredibly proud that you trust him and feel safe around him, but would get such a kick out of using his demon form while at it, to scare the actors there.

His whole aesthetic draws people near as if they would actually approach a vampire royalty, which allows him to puff his chest out in pride, so hey, you’re dating a vampire now!

Would take you out at the fanciest restaurant, just to feel how the life at this place is.

Would love to take long walks on the beach at the sea, your feet in the water, holding hands, and just admiring the moon and stars while waves are your music.

You’d mostly stay silent and enjoy the atmosphere, but sometimes you talk a few words, and that’s when Lucifer is the most relaxed, calm and tender.

He would saying that he loves you with such ease for the first time in so long, and the kiss on your forehead would be so soft that it brings you more butterflies than any kiss ever could.

Lucifer looks so ethereal in the light of the moon, it’s almost like he’s glowing, and when you tell him, he’d actually blush softly, before chuckling and stroking your hair, not denying, nor agreeing with your statement.

---

Mammon

Mammon loves to spend money and grab it, so what better place than Las Vegas?

He’d love for the two of you to dress super fancy and flashy, in matching colours if possible, go gambling, scam people and experience the luxury night lifestyle, go to clubs, loud music and expensive alcohol and all that.

But Mammon isn’t all about the flashy and exciting night time, instead, he would mostly love to just see the world with you by his side, and his goals is to make you happy, to he does everything he can to go sightseeing with you and reads in advance about whatever places you could visit and tells you some fun trivia about the place, he’s treating you to the fanciest food and drink places, and would spoil you rotten when going shopping, loving to see you do a little catwalk for him every time you get out of the changing booth.

He’d definitely insist on buying super cute animal Pyjamas.

He’s a huuuuuge fan of the “His Queen/Her King” trope and loves showing you off as much as possible, so get matching Tshirts or jackets and he would be SOOO proud and would laugh confidently and proud all the time, his arm around you, saying how cool you two are together and all that.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he honestly doesn’t believe he’s good enough for you, but when he sees how your dazzling smile is always directed to him and you cling on his arm whenever you watch the Lights Show on the big buildings, see the beautiful fireworks or watch the impressive singing fountain...Well, he can’t help but blush and kiss your forehead, feeling butterflies in his stomach.

He’s the kind of guy who would spam his DevilGram with either couple pictures in different places you visit, or just cute pics of you or you two messing around, and his account is actually very popular for the #CoupleGoalz trend.

At night, he would like to either cuddle with you and watch a movie, or go drive through the city at night, watch the night lights, and go on a cliff, stargazing and chatting openly about everything, because honestly, this guy is always dismissed and insulted by his brothers, it’s always a relief and a fresh air when he can be himself and just...Talk with someone. 

---

Leviathan

Levi is the biggest weeb in the world, so the first place you’d visit together is Japan.

Anime conventions, wearing cute kimonos while going to festivals or roaming the streets of Kyoto or Akihabara, couple cosplay (Henry and the Lord of Shadows), buying merch of your favourite anime/manga/game, going to Vocaloid concerts, buying the newest Ruri-chan figurines, trying out new video games that just came out and so on.

Actually wants to go to a Pokemon cafe and fangirls SO much about all the cute pokemon themes there.

He would get you all the cutest Pokemon plushies, especially if you’re not all that into Pokemon but want to share that interest with him, so expect a Skitty, Vulpix, Shaymin, Eevee and all its Eeveelutions, Milotic plushie, while he would already be collecting plushies for the rarest Pokemons, but he’s incredibly happy that you want to do this with him.

He also gets an Ekans just for the Lolz and let’s out his tail, mostly for troll purposes, but it makes you laugh and he could swear his heart stopped beating and his cheeks were redder than ever.

He secretly got you a maid outfit and would love to see you wearing it, but he’s too embarrassed to actually say.

He would blush SO much seeing you in a kimono with a nice hair pin and a fan, while going to see the Sakura trees blossoming and you look like the Sengoku type of heroines from the dating sims he plays so much (to get experience and not fuck up with you), but somehow, you’re so much beautiful than any CG he’s every seen, no matter how gorgeous the art is.

He would get lots of packs of Pocky and despite not saying it out loud, would put a pocky in his mouth and you’d get the hint and munch on the other end of the pocky, in the end kissing him softly.

Levi.exe stopped working.

He would love taking pics of you alone, because you’re so beautiful, and would edit them to look as ethereal as possible, if you want, to even have fantastic backgrounds, and would take pride in how popular your DevilGram/InstaGram is.

He also changed his Lockscreen to have you with your hand in a half-heart gesture, while yours has him with the other half, so whenever he looks at the clock, or sees a new notif, he sees you smiling, with a cute kitten filter.

His Wallpaper is the two of you kissing, edited with a few hearts, sparkles and a little “I love you” written in cursive in a corner (you edited the pic and suggested you both use it, but he denied, so you changed it yourself for him too, while he was busy gaming, and he liked it so much that he couldn’t change it back to Ruri-chan.)

---

Satan

Satan would choose England first for so many reasons!

He’s such a perfect gentleman and seeing everyone so polite and chivalrous there makes his heart bloom and would up his gentleman shills even more, wanting to impress you and make your heart skip with everything he does.

Loves to take you to different castles, see in real life everything he read in books and saw in movies or TV series, and he’s so mesmerised by the beauty of everything that he forgets he promised to be your guide, but his bright smile and the way his eyes sparkle in curiosity and glee make up for everything.

Besides, he’d definitely go back to you and explain in very precise detail the reason for his fangirling.

He’s a little nerd so bookstore dates are a huge YES, and more - CAT CAFES where you can read at your heart’s content. HUGE YES.

You’d both get our of there with tons of books that you will read together, cuddled up under the blankets while enjoying an aromatic tea that Satan prepared for you, together with some nice scones.

He’d want to go with you to Shakespeare’s grave, Dicken’s house, would like to see anything involving the Romantics and so on, since he’s in love with British literature.

Satan wants to go see the Harry Potter theme park so much, and would buy tons of merch for the two of you, and wants to go in full Hogwarts robes and wand with you.

Would take a gazillion pics of you together, that only you can see since it may ruin his reputation with his brothers for geeking out, but he’d love it if the universe was actually real.

He’d also take you to King’s Cross to take pic near the wall where you get to the 9 3/4 Platform.

And no trip to England could exist without a visit to Sherlock’s house, pretending to be detectives, and at Madam Tussaud’s Wax Museum to admire all the figures and potentially take troll pics with them.

---

Asmodeus

Asmo wastes no time in taking you to Paris, of course!

And the first thing you do is have a coffee at the restaurant located on top of the Eiffel Tower.

He would, throughout all the trip, take tons of selfies EVERYWHERE, and aeshtetic pics of either you alone, him alone, or together.

He’s a Devilgram and Devilr celebrity, after all!

Loves going to all the little cafes and drink a hot beverage with you while looking and judging all the passer-bys, how they would never compare to how beautiful and fashionable you two are.

He takes you to the Versailles Palace while wearing the most glamorous outfits, and despite all the pics taken, he will tell you stories of when he visited the place long ago, and more, will tell you of the paintings displayed, since he’s rather knowledgeable.

Asmodeus will take you everywhere, but first, the Lafayette Galleries, all while streaming every second there, to shop everyone how amazing the place is.

Would pics the both of you sooo many pretty brand clothes, new skin care routine and make up products, that you almost wonder where he has all the money from, especially to pay someone to carry them back to your place.

Would take you to a lingerie shop where he’d make you try on all the cutest outfits and would buy them all, especially because he thinks they will make you more confident and wants to make sure you never thing bad of yourself, because if you’re dating him, then you’re obviously the most beautiful being he’s ever seen, inside and out. (he doesn’t count here, of course)

His wallpaper is a selfie of you two smiling and making a peace sign, from the top of the Eiffel Tower, seeing all Paris in the background, at evening, with the beautiful sky and the night lights all over.

Would take you on a cruise on Seine, serenading and drinking a glass of bubbly champagne, admiring all the buildings and the happy people sitting on the banks of the River, enjoying the scenery.

And of course, there’s no perfect trip to the City of  Love without some very tender and sensual love-making, with so many compliments, praises, soft touches and gentle kisses from Asmodeus, followed by a relaxing bath with milk, honey and rose petals, scented candles, bubbles and ambiental music, and of course, a lot of cuddling all night long.

---

Beelzebub

Beelzebub would want to go to Italy, since it’s the country with the best human food, and what better place to eat it them its home country?

Would actually love to go sightseeing with you and seeing all the pretty stuff there is.

He appreciates the architecture, statues and paintings of every historical place, loves to find out more about the country’s history and traditions and would like to take scenic pictures of all the places you visit...

And make a couple album where he puts pics with either you alone or together.

It’s his most treasured possession and nobody except Belphie knows about it, and while he is happy that his brother is happy, he would say it’s so cheesy.

Would have fun when doing the classic “Pushing the Pisa Tower” picture, would like to sing when you go on a Gondola ride in Venice, and pretend to be a gladiator at the Colosseum, while you’re his Caesar.

If you get him a necklace or a keychain, he’d never take it off and has it as his lucky charm, kissing it whenever he misses you or wants the day to go good.

After he understands how the food is made, he’d want to make it himself, so you cooking together would be so cute and fun, and the way you see the love and tenderness in his eyes as he looks at you laughing, while your face is covered in flour...

He’s such a precious and soft baby, and he loves you so much.

Also, he’d love to carry you around just for fun and because he loves holding you close to him, so either bridal style on on his shoulder, you say it, and he’s gonna do it.

Will also like to take lots of short videos with you two, just fooling around, giggling, laughing, making jokes, kissing, pretending to be kittens, having flour fights and all that, since they’re beautiful memories and whenever he’s sad, he watches them and he forgets the reason he was sad in the first place.

---

Belphegor

Belphegor would take you to New Zealand, because he saw how beautiful and green the landscape were, thanks to the Lord of the Rings movies, so he wanted to see what would be like stargazing on such a flowery field, or sleeping in a Hobbit hole.

He’s pretty sleepy all the time, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t take you to see the big cities as well, eat out, shop for souvenirs and so on, but his heart is taken by the simplicity and peace the countryside and forests hold.

Belphie would actually like to have his head on your lap as you stay at the bottom of a tree and read, much like Froddo Baggings would, waiting for Gandalf.

It’s a guilty pleasure of his, but he wants to see ‘Gandalf’s’ fireworks, and when a festival like that happens, he’d hold your hand tight, having a soft smile on his face and a tender look in his eyes.

Despite not saying it very often, he will confess his love for you.

It’s barely above a whispers, but it’s genuine.

It’s simple, small, but meaningful and beautiful nonetheless.

As you stargaze on the field, he’d tell you the names of all stars and constellations that you can see, and would tell you some trivia he knows about them.

Would take a few pics here and there, but his favourite one is one where you two are on the ground outside, both your heads on his favourite pillow, while looking at each other, both of you having such genuine and pure love in your expressions.

If he ever wakes up earlier than you, and likes to troll a bit, he’d get his tail out and tickle your noes, smirking at how cute your half-asleep reactions were, but would play innocent when you ask about it, only kissing your nose to make you forget and reassure you that it was only a dream (it wasn’t).

---

Diavolo

Diavolo is so easily excitable, despite his age and title for the next Devil Lord, but honestly, he wants to take you to Iceland to see the Northern Lights that you spoke so fondly about.

There are so many pretty things to see in the Devildom alright, but none of them quite as fascinating to him as how the sky lights up with so many different and beautiful shades of green, blue and pink, it’s almost unreal!

Who would have thought that the Human world could hold such natural wonders?

He could have sword you were a witch or something, and just wanted to impress him with your magic, as if charming him wasn’t enough, but this beauty makes him behave even more like a child, leaving him speechless and breathless.

Diavolo would kiss and hug you, spinning your around so many times, if you allow him, you forgot to count, which is his way of thanking you for showing him this place and he’s honestly just so happy that he can share this precious moment together with you.

You tell him some old stories about how they say the ancestors’ souls watch over everyone from up there, and that even the animals who died have their souls there, living in peace and quiet.

Despite knowing it’s obviously not true, the tales humans come up with are so creative and make so much sense to their beliefs, he’s genuinely fascinated by all these old stories and would like for you to tell him more.

Iceland’s landscapes are also to be taken into account, and Diavolo will take thousands of pics of you literally everywhere, just because you’re so cute and he’s so damn happy and wants many memories together.

Would like for you to take a selfie with his phone, while at the Northern Lights, and would make Lucifer frame it so he can have it on his desk whenever he’s working, and whenever he gets bored, tired, or just misses you, he’d gaze fondly at the picture and would occasionally kiss it.

[bwprowl]

Me vs. The Mitchells vs. The Machines

The Mitchells vs. The Machines is a really cool movie. Seriously! It’s the Spider-Verse crew continuing to be at the top of their game, doing their damnedest to elevate and evolve 3D film animation in a way apart from the ongoing Disneyfied edge-sanding seen elsewhere. Several sequences, especially the final fight scene at the end, are absolutely jaw-dropping. A lot of the writing of the movie is also genuinely clever, with some cool tricks of weaving in Chekov’s Guns that you don’t even realize WERE Chekov’s Guns until they’re deployed, but then make perfect sense. And I also just have to say there’s something oddly heartening about a movie that does a lot to target Millenials in terms of nostalgia, but not so much via our shows and movies and music the way other project might go about, but specifically by tapping the internet meme culture of the early-00’s that’s so media-unique to that emergent generation. There’s some genuine heart visible in so many of the levels of how this thing was made that I can understand its touting as an instant classic and the waves of praise and popularity that have followed its release.

Unfortunately, I can’t so unilaterally praise this movie, mostly because I can NOT stop thinking about how poorly-implemented and mis-framed its central familial conflict is.

Oh yeah spoilers for this movie I guess

So I’ll need to detour at first and talk about A Goofy Movie, which isn’t much of an issue for me since I fucking love A Goofy Movie. And watching The Mitchells vs. The Machines my initial takeaway was a pleasant observation that someone had basically grafted A Goofy Movie to The World’s End, which could have made for an extremely fun time for me. A Goofy Movie, so it goes, centers on the conflict between a father and child trying to understand each other, spurred on by the father conscripting the child into an impromptu road-trip which the child initially resents but eventually leans into as a vehicle for understanding as the family members open up to each other and end with a greater appreciation for their familial bond as well as healthier, more open lines of communication. There are comical misunderstandings, dramatic misunderstandings, and escalating Wacky Adventures that keep the trip feeling suitably cinematic in scope. And as The Mitchells vs. The Machines continued on, I kept finding myself rounding back to that comparison and asking “Why am I not getting into this as much as I do A Goofy Movie?”

It turns out to be a point of motivation, actually. In A Goofy Movie, Goofy dragooning Max into the cross-country fishing trip is immediately borne out of his (however misinformed) desire to keep his son from going down a wrong, potentially delinquent or criminal path. Goofy has concerns about the lessened connection and communication with Max, sure, but that’s a symptom of his inability to communicate his actual worries about Max’s behavior to him, not the sum total of the problem he feels needs fixing. Goofy is under the impression there are genuine problems Max is going through, and while he’s got the actual particulars wrong, he’s not really that far off, since Max still IS the kind of kid to elaborately hijack a school function or make up extravagant lies to get attention from the girl he likes rather than just talking to her and asking her out like a normal human-dog-person. Goofy’s objective is firmly centered on helping Max for Max’s sake, and he’s only taking up a few weeks out of Max’s summer and causing him to miss a single party in order to do it.

I lay all that out so you can try to understand my headspace coming at critiquing The Mitchells vs. The Machines and negatively viewing its own take on a plot concept I ostensibly love by default. The problem, as said, is one of motivation. In The Mitchells, Rick’s dissatisfaction with his relationship with his daughter Katie is purely that: Dissatisfaction with their relationship. Katie herself is, by all accounts, doing spectacularly. She’s got a healthy relationship with friends and other family members, she’s gotten accepted into a prestigious film school, and her YouTube account seems to pull pretty keen numbers (With all the tech jokes in this movie it’s a wonder there’s never a riff on her shilling NordVPN or Raid Shadow Legends). The conflict between father and daughter is purely a case of them growing apart in her teen years demonstrably because Rick has no understanding of her current passions and makes no effort to do so, which leads to him having consistently questioned and doubted her ability to succeed in her field. The film frames the impromptu road-trip as his attempt to ‘fix’ the issues between them, but the only thing broken by the presentation of the story is Rick’s approach to parenting in the first place. He could easily have made Katie warm to him on the way out by replacing or paying for the laptop he broke and throwing her a subscription to her YouTube channel, but then the movie would be shorter and we wouldn’t be able to pretend the conflict was anything other than his own pursuit of self-centered actualization.

That’s the other issue, of course, the way The Mitchells vs. The Machines consistently rounds back to the point that Katie is somehow shouldering half the responsibility for the father/daughter communication breakdown. But as stated above, it really has hardly anything to do with her. Katie’s succeeding on her own terms, and the only outreach she would theoretically need to do to her dad would be to make HIM feel better, something he could do himself if he’d only actually pay attention to the cool videos she keeps trying to show him and not constantly deciding that HE knows that SHE will fail. It’s a fundamentally one-sided conflict from what we’re shown, and yet the other members of the Mitchell family continuously treat Katie like she needs to accommodate her father’s personal whims and not hurt his feelings despite the fact that he’s the one who went behind her back and canceled her flight, even forcing her to miss her first week of college (!) simply because he felt sorry for himself that they didn’t like the same things anymore. Again, Katie’s doing great, it’s Rick that decides to make his problem the entire family’s problem, and while I’m going to hesitate to refer to this behavior as out-and-out abusive, it is still absurdly selfish and pointedly poor parenting. 

The movie seems to nominally strive for balance in the conflict, not making it entirely Katie’s job to fix her dad’s hurt feelings, and indeed having a whole sequence where he realizes what a Big Jerk he’s been about not trying to understand or support her passions, and resolving to actually Make An Effort moving forward. The problem is that this is still framed as one half of the equation, as Katie supposedly gets to understand where her dad is coming from, which...makes her feel better about all the times he said she would fail and so she should rely on and appreciate him more? And the reason that’s a fundamental issue is annoying, because it means we have to talk about Rick’s Stupid Fucking Cabin.

Look, I hate doing this. I personally try very hard to keep in the mindset that stories are stories and things happen in them because they are stories. I am loathe to attempt picking apart the points of particular plot points, but the problem is that this Stupid Fucking Cabin is positioned as the heart of the humanity of the entire movie, yet it hinges on a sequence of decisions that no actual human being would ever come by. First off, do you have any idea how long it takes to BUILD a home like that, let alone as one guy apparently doing it himself? Rick spent the better part of his twenties building this big Fucking Stupid Cabin to fulfill his lifelong dream of ‘Living in the woods’, only for his wife to get pregnant once it was finished, leading to him just dropping like that? Was there no planning in this family? Was Katie an accident that Rick immediately was this endeared to? I mean, he totally seems like a pro-lifer. But then why do they need to sell the Stupid Fucking Cabin on account of a kid coming along? How were Rick and Linda planning on living out their lives there if not with resources that could support them as well as a kid or two? Rick could have just raised his kids in the woods in his Stupid Fucking Cabin and they would have stood a better chance at turning out like little duplicates of himself and his own interests like he clearly wanted. That’s to say nothing of this sequence of events being framed as a ‘failure’, despite that fact that Rick handily succeeded at what he set out to do, only to turn around and abandon the thing he succeeded at himself on seemingly the same sort of impulsive whim that leads to him dragging his whole family on a road trip because he doesn’t understand YouTube. There are motivating factors to these decisions he made that could inform the whole context of this supposedly tragic backstory, but we aren’t privy to anything resembling them, and the result is a plot point that seemingly only exists to make Katie (and the audience) feel bad for Rick in the third act of the movie.

The real answer is the ultimate assertion of this thing by the finale, that Katie should be ‘grateful’ to Rick for his ‘sacrifice’ of his dream that supposedly allowed her to be in the place she is now. Except Katie had no part in Rick’s bizarre impulsive choice to build a Stupid Fucking Cabin then sell it as soon as a kid popped out so he, I guess, could feel some sense of important familial contribution. That’s to say nothing of the point about parental figures who make grand, sweeping gestures nominally for the good of their kids, but are effectively and emotionally unavailable in the day-to-day engagements of their lives. Because unlike Goofy in A Goofy Movie, Rick isn’t actually doing what he’s doing for Katie’s sake. Her motivation for most of the movie is to move away from home and go to college, a completely normal-ass thing that children do. Any of Rick’s outreach or efforts to ‘fix’ relationships and situations are purely for the sake of his own hurt feelings, and the way Katie’s mother and brother consistently push her into going along with them only highlights the overt way this whole family’s problems are hung up on the insecurities of of this single stubborn jerk. But then, that’s my other major misgiving with The Mitchells vs. The Machines: Its expected exaltation of the default biological family as some hallowed unit for which it is a tragedy to fall into any degree of dysfunction. This is with pointed dismissal towards the idea of Found Family, seen as a distraction, an obstacle to Katie realizing who her TRUE people are, and coming around to a sense of fulfillment because she managed to massage her dad’s ego for long enough that he stopped being totally dismissive of the things that brought her joy. You see, Found Families are fun, but they aren’t REAL or SPECIAL because they already accept and appreciate you for who you are, unlike these people you’re biologically obligated to share living space with for 18+ years whom you have to forge bonds with through varying degrees of communication breakdowns and compromises in self-agency.

With all that in mind, it highlights some of the smaller issues in the movie’s setup as well. This is perhaps petty, but jeez was I annoyed with the film’s framing of The Mitchells as this ~craaaazy~ ~weeeeiiiird~ family which included such outlandish quirks as ‘Dad who doesn’t understand technology’ and ‘Young boy who really likes dinosaurs’. And the wishy-washy tone of the familial conflict is echoed in the ‘The Machines’ part of the plot, which mostly led to me sitting on edge throughout the whole film as I wondered how it was going to come down on the subject of those kids and their darn smartphones. It ultimately doesn’t go full anti-technology, which makes sense given how much of Katie’s character revolves around using the stuff, to say nothing of the predilections of the people who actually, uh, made this movie. But the most it can manage is a halfhearted “Maybe unregulated big tech bad?” which even then is undercut, mostly I assume because of the various big tech companies involved in producing and streaming this thing. Don’t get me wrong, I’m overall glad it doesn’t go full "durr hburr technology is bad fire is scary and thomas edison was a witch", but a lack of any insight or ideas on that front means that the familial relationship element is the only conceptual element it really has to stand on, and I just spent over 1800 words breaking down why that fundamentally didn’t work!

It’s an aggravating situation, because lord did I want to love The Mitchells vs. The Machines. It’s gorgeous, it’s got some clever bits in the writing, and it can honestly sling a punchline like nobody’s business, there are some KILLER jokes in there. But it just became impossible all the way through the end for me to engage with the heart of the movie, its central connective conflict, on the terms it wanted me to. Now it’s admittedly possible that, perhaps like Rick Mitchell, that’s my problem. I’ve seen a lot of love for this movie from my peers, and it does make me question my own projections: I don’t want to get TOO personal on main, but I admit that it’s entirely possible that people who’ve enjoyed an actually functional fatherly relationship would better engage with the emotive connections this movie wants you to make. But even with that caveat, I was able to find my own way to resonate with the similar stakes of A Goofy Movie just thanks to the more effective way that one was framed, so if this one couldn’t hook me, maybe it was The Mitchells vs. The Machines’ fault after all.

[enithinggoes]

Wanderer’s Refuge, chapter 2: caught red-handed

Agatha and Ursa knew they wouldn’t be able to stay flying for long, by morning they were already starting to feel hungry and thirsty, so Ursa pointed them to a nearby town she’d heard of so they could get supplies and maybe some maps of the country, they brought the train down as they approached and parked it hidden in a small clearing, then the girls went together into town, looking to find some means to get by just for the near future, as luck would have it, a very important opportunity was waiting just around the corner…

A young red haired man who preferred to go just by his first name was leaning against a wall, gathering his thoughts. He had the plan, he had the smarts, he had the stuff, he just needed the extra hands, someone desperate enough to take the risks and not ask about a big cut…

“We’re gonna need a way to make money.” Said Ursa, pushing Agatha’s wheelchair along the busy streets “and I don’t think people are gonna be super keen on hiring two teenagers that came out of nowhere.”

The man reacted instantly upon hearing them, “Perfect!”, and pushed himself off the wall, catching the coin he was flipping with a flourish and quickly turning to the girls and extending a gloved hand, he wore a dapper suit and a cheeky smile. “Good morning, young ladies! Haven’t seen you around here, are you two looking for a quick job?”

Agatha was a bit stunned by this sudden encounter, so it was all she could do to put her hand out, which the young man vigorously shook.

“Who are you and what the hell do you want with us?” said Ursa, clearly on edge.

“The name’s Lawrence, and there’s no need to be so rude. I want to take you two to lunch, my treat; I know this great place downtown. There, we can discuss a way you can both make 100 shillings in less than a week.”

The two girls glanced at each other, this man was twelve kinds of shady, but 200 total pounds was enough for not only basic supplies, but probably a few mattresses and an ice box, maybe even some coal(they hypothesized that maybe giving the train’s engine some steam might make Agatha less tired from flying).

“We’ll talk over lunch, but we do reserve the right to back out even if you pay for us!” Ursa answered, eyeing Lawrence suspiciously

“Of course, of course. Right this way, then!” The redhead did something close to a twirl turning back and leading them quickly down an alley.

At the restaurant, Lawrence had impeccable table manners, even better than Agatha’s, and definitely than Ursa’s, who was scarfing down an expensive cut of beef when he asked “So, I’ve told you ladies my name, it would be rude if you didn’t give me yours.”

“I’m Agatha Clarke, it’s a pleasure to meet you. And this is Ursa Martin,” said the white-haired girl, Ursa just mumbled in agreement while still chewing.

“Now, an illustrious coal baron, mr. Robert Evans, is coming to town with an entourage to visit the local mines, which have been drying up for a few decades. And I’d wager, with proper prestidigitation we can make a deal with him that shall be quite lucrative for us.” Lawrence explained with a devilish smile.

“So you’re a scammer.” Ursa said matter-of-factly.

“I prefer to think of myself as a merchant that really knows how to make a sale.” He said, entirely unperturbed.

“Alright, I’m down to scam a coal baron, what’s the game?”

“I’m glad you’ve asked, partner.”

Over the next few days, Lawrence brought the girls over to where he’d been staying, it was a small hotel room, surprising considering the apparent quality of his suit, Ursa had to carry Agatha’s chair up, since there were only stairs. There, he showed them a few large bags of oddly shaped rocks he’d collected plus some soot-based paint, “made it myself!” he commented with a wink.

They spent their time painting the rocks very thoroughly to look as much like coal as possible, while putting them out to dry, Agatha innocently asked “Sir Lawrence, I hope you don’t mind but why do you keep all your belongings in bags and pouches, is there something wrong with the room’s lockers?”

“Well, you see, I just like to keep my things close at hand.” The red-haired man seemed bashful, like that was only half an answer, still, Agatha didn’t want to pry. “You’re a very wholesome woman, aren’t you? I was actually a bit worried you’d be against my business model.”

“Well, you see, sir, I don’t think a baron of anything is going to be hurting for money anytime soon. And we don’t have many options in the present moment.” Agatha avoided mentioning she was already, by all accounts, a criminal.

 Lawrence put his knuckle to his chin and said “I see, I guess I misjudged you a little. Well, then we’d best get back to work, we have some rehearsing to do!” He felt like he understood her a bit more, but cut the conversation short, he didn’t like getting too attached to his “coworkers”

The three of them slept in Lawrence’s cramped room, Agatha and Ursa wanting to avoid the hassle of moving back to the train and the possibility of revealing their magical artifice, who knows how Lawrence could react?

The guests shared a sleeping bag of his cuddled together on the floor, while Lawrence rested on his bed, never taking off his gloves or turning his back to the door.

When a total of 5 days had passed, the final preparations were made in the morning and the three headed close to the city’s entrance, when they saw a man in a strikingly black suit accompanied by three burly lads, his eyes and nose turned slightly upwards as he strode, Ursa and Lawrence, both wearing dirty overalls, walked down onto the street, shouting at each other.

“Ya can’t sell those, those are all that’s left of Pa!” said Ursa, faking the accent people imagined miners to have.

“Well he worked himself ta death findin’ these so we could live a decent life!” retorted Lawrence, carrying a large, metal bucket full of painted pebbles.

“We could take over this whole town if ya just worked in that mine for a few more weeks!” she grabbed onto Lawrence’s shoulders, shaking him.

“We ain’t gonna be alive for more weeks if Ah don’t sell these!” He pushed her away, purposefully letting the rocks shake and make noise inside the bucket.

The baron’s bodyguards were about to push the two away from his path when, with an elegant, but firm hit of his cane onto the sidewalk, he commanded them to stop. Lawrence and Ursa turned to face him, feigning surprise.

“Now now, there’s no need for such vulgarism. Young man, would you kindly show me what you’re holding there?” He spoke to Lawrence slowly, like one speaks to a child.

As Ursa pretended to hold Lawrence back, he proudly showed the contents of the bucket, saying “This is what Pa used to call ‘charboné eterinow’, said he’d heard of it when he was young like me, burns as long as ya like, it does.”

“’Charbon eternél’, hmm, the eternal coal” Mr. Evans was clearly proud of his french, “could you show it to me in action?”

Lawrence put the bucket on the floor, smiling widely as he bragged “of course, mistah! Let me just get it burnin’ real quick” he took a little flask of moonshine from his pocket and let some drip onto the inside of the bucket, before setting it on fire with a simple tinderbox and quickly removing his hand before the flames flared to life.

“Easy there!” He quickly leaned back, his hands hovering at the sides of the bucket as they watched the flames cover the entirety of the bottom of the bucket, making the rocks hard to even look without feeling pain in one’s eyes.

Ursa was very nervous about this step, in theory, there should be nothing stopping the flame from fizzling out once all the alcohol was consumed, but Lawrence had assured her he “had a plan”. Lo and behold, the fire didn’t go out, instead it flared beautifully up, almost burning the coal baron’s clothes as it seemed to reach towards his eyes before stabilizing inside the bucket.

Whatever it was that Lawrence had done, it seemed that he was quite anxious too, as he stuck his tongue out the corner of his mouth in concentration and quickly started to sweat, thought that might have been from the heat, while his hands hovered near the bucket for more than two minutes before he quickly turned it upside down, fast enough for none of the rocks to go flying.

  “That should put it out in a few” said Lawrence, holding the bucket while the oxygen from the bucket depleted until he raised it up to reveal the still perfectly intact rocks underneath.

“See! Not one bit a wear n’ tear! Pretty special, right?” Lawrence turned looked up towards Robert Evans.

The coal baron hid his amazement by biting his lip and muttered “Special indeed.”

“Well, waddaya think? Pa told us these would be worth a fortune, how’s 600 sound?” Lawrence named a tall price, all part of negotiations.

“No, no, this is certainly impressive, but 600 is too much for a novelty, I’ll be generous with you and give you 300.”

“That’s a done deal!” The men shook hands, and after the money was exchanged, he paid Ursa and said he still had “some details to deal with really quick” so she and Agatha could go back to the room or wherever they wanted now.

Ursa met up with Agatha nearby, and excitedly told her about how the plan had worked, how they had enough money now to buy the things they would need to live for a while. Agatha asked about Lawrence, but Ursa said they shouldn’t expect him to hang around for long after the job, he was clearly a man with no interest in roots, ready to leave at any time.

“Guess that doesn’t make him very different from us.” Agatha commented with a sympathetic smile.

“huh… guess not.” Commented Ursa, made somewhat aware of her cynicism.

Meanwhile, Lawrence was making the “real” part of this plan come to fruition, he brought mr. Evans(at his request), to the “source” of the “charbon eternél”. A field of bare stone around a dark cave, were he’d half-buried, just conspicuously enough, dozens of painted rocks just like the ones in the bucket he carried, he counted on the baron’s arrogance to make him believe Lawrence wouldn’t see the potential something like a “mine of ever-burning coal” could have to completely destroy the current state of the economy.

“Here it is mister, this is where Pa found ‘em, spent 25 years looking for ‘em, he did.” Lawrence said, pointing around the area on the outskirts of town.

“I see,” said Robert Evans, “the site of such an interesting find should definitely be preserved, would you be willing to sell it to me for about 500 pounds?”

“Fahve hundred! Why that’s too kind, sir! I’d love to give it to you, I’ve been trying to get off this town and make it in the big city.” Lawrence rapidly shook Evans’ hand, keeping up the farce that he was the one being tricked with a lower value than this could really be worth, his plan had worked perfectly.

Lawrence went back to his room, with a score like this, 600 pounds all to himself, he really should take the chance to exit the scene as quick as he could, before anyone caught on and came to ask him for refunds.

He put his suit back on and gathered his things, his clothes, his sleeping bag, his toothbrush, his switchblade, any trace of the time he’d spent here, the only thing he left behind was a note with “good luck out there, don’t look for me.” For the people who had been his roommates for the last week, he pushed a pang of guilt at giving them such a small share of the score and just disappearing without a word away with the thought that this was just “the game”, and he’d just learned to play it well.

Lawrence thought a bit about where he could go now, probably somewhere with a big market and lots of gullible tourists. Yeah, that’d be good for a few more months, maybe even a year and a half.

After picking out a town south of where he was, he bought his ticket and waited inside the station, it would still a few hours until the train he’d booked came, but he didn’t want to risk any unfavorable encounters by walking around outside.

Unfortunately that didn’t stop two burly men, who he recognized as the coal baron’s bodyguards, from coming up to him and telling him to get up and come with them. Ok, a little snag, nowhere to just run away, no trains for a long time, but it’s fine, he can weasel his way out of this.

They brought him into an alleyway, where he met mr. Robert Evans again, he didn’t seem upset, but was definitely not friendly, as soon as Lawrence saw him, he started saying “I can explain,”.

“So,” interrupted the baron, “It appears to me you were not fully honest with your description of this ‘ever-burning coal’, were you?” He showed one of the painted rocks with a part broken off, showing the gray center.

“Alright, you got me, I was trying to pull one over on you, you’ve gotta know it’s a common thing around here, that’s the game, and you won! I’ll pay you back with 50% extra, promise.”

The coal baron took a step forward, smirking at Lawrence dropping the façade he’d adopted when speaking to him. “I see, but I think I have a better idea of how you could… reward me for this “win”. Would you mind telling me how you got that fire to keep burning that long?”

“It was the alcohol!” Lawrence sputtered out, “I-it is mixed with a slower burning substance that kept it bright longer!”

“Seize his hands, please.” The two bodyguards grabbed onto Lawrence’s arms, he was shoved to the ground, bruising his chin and getting his arms held behind his back, his left glove was pulled off, revealing crimson-red fingers.

“Ah, the devil’s hand, I suspected it when I noticed your gloves were the only thing you wore on both occasions where we met, so I think I know a way you can repay me even better:” Evans put his foot on top of Lawrence’s head, pressing it to the floor. “You see, I happen to know there’s a 500 pound reward for capturing your kind, dead or alive, so along with taking back the money you stole from me, I’ll be making quite a big profit.

Lawrence tried to look forward, find something he could do to escape, at the end of the alleyway, he could just barely see two girls in new clothes, one of them in a wheelchair, maybe it was Agatha and Ursa! They could help him, right? No, he left them before, and maybe they even knew he’d lowballed them, why would they risk their lives for someone like him?

“Anything to say for yourself, monster? Aren’t you gonna squirm some more? Or can you at least face death like a man”

He couldn’t find anything, after all, he’d tried everything before, nobody ever listened, ever saw him like a person after knowing what his hands meant, they called him a living timebomb, a danger to society, he’d grown used to it by now, he could try to burn them all to death, become fitting of his description, use this supposed power that had made him a target all his life…

Before he could finish weighing if he’d rather risk trying to escape while they dragged him to the local precinct or give up on trying to subvert their judgment of him by just leaning into the raging fire, the weight over his body suddenly disappeared as Ursa launched her whole body with a burst of steam it into Robert Evans, her elbow connecting with his back and the force throwing him into his bodyguards and knocking them off their feet.

“Can you run?” she crouched down and asked him while untying his wrists.

“Certainly better than the alternative.” Lawrence answered, already getting up onto his knees and putting his gloves back on.

They ran out of the alley and Lawrence followed Ursa as she wheeled Agatha out of town and towards the nearby woods, he didn’t know where they were going but if they had a route to get away from here it certainly beat staying.

When they came to a clearing, the young man had a hard time believing what he saw, a two wagon train in the middle of a forest.

“Get in!” Said Ursa, lifting Agatha’s chair onto the train as Lawrence followed them inside

“I don’t know if I can give it liftoff, last time we were already in the air when it manifested.” Agatha went to the train’s caboose and lifted herself to the conductor’s chair, focusing on visualizing the train in flight as she’d seen before. The train started moving as its tracks began to form, but it couldn’t quite accelerate quick enough to beat the upwards incline, the boiler made a roaring noise, like a starved tiger crying out in rage.

“Shit, I forgot to get any actual coal while we were out!” said Ursa, looking for something flammable she could part with, maybe they’d have enough time before someone came for Lawrence to go out and cut down some trees.

Lawrence clutched his own arms, hesitating a bit to do something he knew would be an unnecessary risk, but he owed at least some help to these people, right? “You’ve already collected the necessary water for the boiler right?”

“Yes, we’ve even already filled it, we just need a flame to light it,” replied Agatha, still concentrating on trying to move the train through her sheer will.

Lawrence pulled back his sleeves, he didn’t want to burn them with an effort this large, he extended his hands into the boiler and flames entirely engulfed the inside of it, barely licking at his forearms. The heat quickly started transforming the water in the boiler into steam, launching the train into motion forwards and upwards.

Agatha and Ursa stared at Lawrence’s hands, marveling at the beauty of the flames and their incredible power before Agatha had to focus on guiding her machine and Ursa had to hold on to avoid falling over from the sudden acceleration.

 After they’d picked up some good altitude and speed, Lawrence pulled his hands out of the boiler and turned to look out the window, seeing the world from above for the first time, right here, it felt like nobody could hurt him, no one could look down or him or hunt him down for a strange birthmark he never asked for, it was beautiful.

“So…” He turned to Agatha, “how long can I stay here, could you at least drop me off at the next town you come to?”

“Oh.” Agatha didn’t turn away from the blue sky she was plowing through, “You may leave if you’d like, sir, but you’re welcome to stay as well.”

Lawrence did a double-take, why would anybody take this risk? Put their own lives at stake sheltering a man who could never not be a target for the rest of his life? “Really”

Ursa came up to him, tapping him on the shoulder, “yeah man, we’re not throwing you back out there.” She pointed at the town, now tiny from the window of the train.

Lawrence smiled, putting his forearm in front of his eyes, maybe to shelter them from the sun, or to shelter himself from showing his watery eyes.

“Thank you.”

[what-a-messsss]

1x8 rewatch

Oh nooooo, it’s the sex cult one, and I feel so bad about the gas station guy.  It’s one of the few times that Ruby actually gets a bit of screen time, which is grand because Ruby is the actual best, but she’s so sad.  

Kudos for the continuity of his truck still being a slammed up wreck.  I hope I notice when he gets it more or less fixed, just to see how long it took in the end.

I still have thoughts and feelings about Walt’s bear paw print buckle.  Why can’t he be the kind of friend that Henry deservessssssS?

Oh honey, Ruby.  Breakin’ my heart, here.  I have a sort of headcanon that in addition to just generally knowing everybody because she’s Ruby, that she would get to know the folx who run the places that would likely tend to end up calling in a bit more often (gas station owners, bartenders, DV advocates, shelter workers) a bit better.  But he was also her contemporary, so hell, they might have gone to high school together, or gone to the same dances as teens.  Basically I have lots of feelings about Ruby, and I dearly wish that she had had more screen time and character development.

Looool, Branch actually doing some decent police work.  

I am unreasonably fond of Ellis just because of the jackalope with the camera. 

GLASSES.  And these are Henry’s early glasses, excellent.  I am choosing not to ruminate on the fact that I have mentally ranked the glasses that he has throughout the series.  That mess of the cable is making me twitch, though.  I may not deal all that much with the sound equipment, but yeeeesh, that is not great for the cable.  He’s so pretty, though.

Again with the Ruby feels, with her working on the eulogy!  She’s so wonderful.

Early seasons Ferg falls into the trap of making the chubby guy clueless and ridiculous, but I mostly forgive the writers for that because he does get some character growth.  And he is practically a kid these early days.  He’s what, mid 20s or something?  ...whaaaaaat.  Whaaaaat??  I just googled, and the actor was 33 in S1.  Oof.  Well.  Then the character just had some, uh, room for personal growth.  >.>

Ooooooope, first introduction of Newett!  Supervisor simultaneously managing to be a tool, and to call out Walt and Vic on their little blackmail threat.  

Aaaaand then this is also why I forgive the writers about Ferg: he’s not a complete lump.  They give him his own quirks, but then those quirks do prove useful.  Nerd powers activate!  You go get your geology thang on, buddy.  BLESS HIM.  And then once Henry does realize that he’s onto something, he doesn’t belittle him, just rolls with the new information.

“The DMV again.  What, am I being punished for something?”  No Vic, it’s called being one of 3 deputies, so it’s your frickin’ job.  If you’re too high and lofty to do the job, why did you take it?  (I wanted to like her character, I swear I did.)

Tooooooooom Wopat.  Heh.  Wilkins is such an ass.  And it’s so very amusing to see him in that role, because, of course, the first role I saw him in was as Bo Duke in Dukes of Hazzard.  ...Bo would have grown up to be a better sheriff than Wilkins is, though, oil company shill that he is.  The mustache works for him, though.  Wilkins starts off as reasonable.  He’s up front about the campaign checks from Newett, and has a valid point about Walt stomping around wherever he damn well feels like it without so much as a radio call ahead.  “Didn’t have time,” my big toe.  Absaroka is supposed to be big, which means that it would take time to even get to the county line.  More than enough time for Vic to call in to the station on her phone, or for them to radio ahead.  He just doesn’t like not being able to do exactly what he wants exactly when he wants wherever the hell he wants, with no acknowledgement of other people’s boundaries or responsibilities.  (I’m more cheesed off on Mathias’ behalf than Wilkins here, but the point is largely the same.)

And then he promises that he’ll check in before any future visits, which is as much use as a fart.  All it does is clear the room, with no lasting impression.  UGH.

Early Branch still does want Walt’s approval.  He bucks the down-talking that Walt constantly gives him, and does think that he has better ideas a lot of the time...  ...but his reaction when Walt says that he thinks he’s right (given the circumstances) is a tiny bit heartbreaking.  With a dad like Barlow, it’s no wonder that he’d be absolutely aching for support and approval from a father figure and the few moments where Walt gives him any sort of nod clearly land deep.  

I adore Ferg and Henry’s extremely different reactions to the rando baby.  Henry is like >:( BABY DOES NOT BELONG HERE; WHO LEFT BABY HERE ANGY HENRY, but Ferg is just instantly a worried pile of sparkles and cotton fluff going Baaaaabyyyyy!

Cady!  Speaking of schmoopy people in the face of a baby, she’s adorable.  And competent.  I love her.  That’s a great top on her, too.  Shut up, I’m not just saying that because it’s yellow.

Ferg is such an optimist.  And I want to believe that he just carries that map around with him any time he’s on duty, not just for this case.  It seems like a very Ferg, just in case, thing to do.

[Aaaand sidetracked for a 45 minutes by the expanding Cobbler verse in the form of spinning more ideas about Ruby’s daughter and family.  I love them so much.]

Ok, I might have a little bit of a double standard.  Walt not playing by the rules annoys me, but Henry seeing the ‘No Trespassing’ sign and basically just shrugging and doing how he do is amusing to me.  Wow, Henry; you make it a whole 20 feet inside the fence before the rentacops roll up.  Womp womp.  Ew, and the racism.  Which he handles with grace and humor, but bleeegh.  And the unspoken, but so very clear, ‘bitch’ following his “How.”  Hearteyes forever.

I swear, Henry gets pulled into so much of Walt’s bs without even really asking that much.

OPE.  I have caught a booboo.  First of all, it’s kind of hilarious that Fiona Hines, aka “October” in the creepy sex cult has a DOB on her license of 04/15/1954.  She looks pretty good for a 58 year old.  But her address is listed as 6 Meadow Dr. RT 10, Durant Wyoming, aaaaand then Vic has her, “Guess where the address is--” and they cut to apparently Cumberland County, because there’s Sheriff Wilkins being all unhelpful.  I’m such a pedantic little asshole.  

The oncoming train is certainly an effective method of ratchetting up tension.  The teacup on the track is a neat visual, but makes no sense, because the vibrations of a train going by, much less one slamming on the breaks like that would have either knocked it off or shattered it.  ...I’m why we can’t have nice things, aren’t I.

And then Ruby coming through with tying off the emotional thread of the episode.  She’s a gem, and I wish we’d had more of her.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

Their Hero Academia – Chapter 66: See You on the Island

Presenting the next installment of my on-going, nextgen, MHA fic! Earlier chapters can be found here

Isamu took out his phone and waited for it to power back up so he could check his texts, eyes carefully scanning around the interior of the I-Island airport.  The plane ride in had been nice enough and he wasn’t feeling particularly jetlagged.  Granted, with I-Island being mobile, he wasn’t entirely sure what time zone he was in.

But even from the air, he could tell that I-Island was an impressive place.  Several of his classmates had talked about it before and the past Expos that they had attended.  Pretty much any Top Ten Hero got an invitation to the Expo, as well as other prominent Heroes, though right now most of them were rather busy in lieu of the Nomu attack on Tokyo and the follow-up investigation. The attacks had also brought a lot of more minor league Villains out of the woodwork, stressing the system further.

He still got chills when he thought about it and Deku and the rest were trying to find the serpent’s den that they’d spawned from.  He guessed he still had a long way to go to being a Hero.

His phone finished booting up and he saw he already had a handful of texts.  A couple from Kana Tetsutetsu wishing him well.  These he responded to immediately, letting her know he’d arrived safely and that he would absolutely try his best to get her Godzillo’s autograph. Though the Kaiju Hero was long retired from both heroing and acting, he was still popular and a regular guest at the Expo.  

There were also a couple from his parents, with Dad telling him he was proud of him and wishing him a good time, and Mom’s in all caps telling him to be on his best behavior and that she too was proud.  He fired off a couple of quick replies to let them know he’d touched down safe and could talk to them later.

And there was a group chat with messages from Midoriya, the Iida twins, and Sero.  Midoriya was traveling with the Togata family and Sero was traveling with the Iidas.  He smiled a little.  Apparently Tensei’s argument that if Midoriya got to spend the trip with his girlfriend, then he should get to spend the trip with his boyfriend had been convincing to Iida’s parents.  Of course, after a long plane ride with Sero, they might come to regret that decision…

It looked like they’d already arrived and were waiting at the hotel.  Now he just needed to figure out where that was.  Someone from the Expo staff was supposed to be meeting him…

Ah, there they were. A woman a few years older than him was standing holding a sign with his name on it.  She was of average height, but covered in soft brown fur with vaguely raccoon-like features, including ears on the top of her head, and had a large, bushy tail that was the same blue as her hair.  

“That’d be me,” he said, as he approached her, dragging his rolling luggage behind him.  He had a few changes of casual clothes, a suit for the formal dinner, and his costume for some of the Expo events.  

“Good to see you,” she said. Her Japanese was good, enough to make him think she was a native speaker, though I-Island drew people in from all over the world.  “I’ve just got to check…”   She pulled out her own phone and tapped away at it for a minute, scrutinizing the screen before eyeing him.  

“Just confirming you match the picture,” she said, giving him a friendly smile.  “I’m Sumire Hiwatashi, with Expo guest services.  I’m here to escort you to the hotel and I’ll be on-call for any questions or needs you have for the duration of your stay.”

“Oh, ah, thanks,” he replied.  “Don’t really know if I’ll need anything once I know my way around, but ah, I appreciate it.” He definitely didn’t want to impose on anyone, even if that did seem to be her job, or part of it.

“Really, it’s no problem,” she said and gave him a conspiratorial wink.  “Trust me, this gets me out of a whole lot of other jobs.”

“Oh,” he said.  “Ah, good then?”  He wasn’t sure how to react to that.

“Anyway,” she said, “if you want to follow me?  We can go over the schedule on the way.  As the U.A. Sports Festival winner, we do have a few events we’d like you to attend, but you’re otherwise free to go around the Expo as you please.”

He’d looked at the itinerary on the plane ride.  It didn’t look too bad.  They did want him to compete in the mock Villain course and there were a few other panels they wanted him at, but nothing too bad.  Profile was pretty important to Heroes, though he still wasn’t sure how comfortable he was with that.  Especially since so any Heroes seemed to go out of their way to cultivate their image.

He sent a quick text to Midoriya and the others that he was on his way and followed after Hiwatashi.

***

Isamu stepped off the elevator to see his friends and classmates waiting for him, all dressed in their Hero costumes, though Sero and the twins had forgone their helmets. He had his goggles on his head and bandanna pulled down himself. Midoriya gave him a friendly wave when he saw him and Isamu quickly crossed the lobby.

“Good to see you guys,” he said.  “How was the trip in?”

“Great,” Sero said. He gave his boyfriend an affection elbow in the side.  “Though somebody shot down by idea of sitting in the back of the plane and necking.”

Tensei Iida went several shades of red, his arms flailing through the air as he spoke.  “That… that would have been highly inappropriate with my parents and sister on the plane!”

Sero sighed dramatically, burying his face in the crook of his arm.  “If you don’t want to, you can just say so, you know.”

Iida continued his wild flailing.  “I did not say that!  I would be very happy to “neck” with you!  There is no reason to put words in my mouth!  I am simply seeking a sense of propriety and…”

Finally looking like he couldn’t take it anymore, Sero just laughed.  “Relax, babe.  I’m just winding you up.  Though I’ve glad to hear you’re not opposed to a physical relationship.”

His sister broke into laughter, pointing.  “Oh, oh goodness!  You should have seen the look on your face, Little Brother!”

Iida crossed his arms, a grumpy look crossing his face.  “It is a good thing you are adorable, or it would be much harder to be mad at you.”  

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sero said, now flailing his own arms.  “Say I’m adorable again.  I need to get it on video so I can send it to Kimiko.”

“Doesn’t she have enough ammunition without you giving her more?” an annoyed sounding voice asked. Isamu realized there was someone else with his friends, a blonde boy of about their age, with glasses and fingers that seemed unnaturally long and possessed of an additional joint.  

“Hey man, what’s your beef with Kimmie?” Sero demanded.

“You mean other than the fact that she somehow found out about my breakup and tried shilling me to every single girl in the school?”

“She was doing you a service!”

Fortunately, Midoriya stepped in between the two.  “Okay,” he said, “we’re all here to have a good time.  Nobody’s arguing.  And nobody’s webcasting any of this.  Or Instaglaming it or Squawking it or whatever.”

“Squawking isn’t a thing anymore, Midoriya.  Only old people Squawk.”

“You know what I meant, Sero.”  Midoriya shook his head.  “Oh! Haimawari, I don’t think you’ve met Dave?  Isamu Haimwari, David Togata.  Dave’s a family friend and in the Support Course.”

“Nice to meet you,” Isamu said.  He recalled Lemillion mentioning his youngest during his Internship with Deku.  “Your dad brags about you a lot.”

That got a laugh out of Togata, though it had an edge of long-sufferingness to it.  “I’m sure he does.  Dad’s kind of embarrassingly proud of all of us.”

Isamu couldn’t blame him. One kid who was Deku’s sidekick, one who was one of U.A.’s latest Big Three, and one who, given he’d made it past the first round of the Sports Festival, seemed to be a Support Course star? What dad wouldn’t be proud?

Granted, Lemillion was definitely extra proud.  Always bragging about “his genius son” and his “heroic son” and his “heroic daughter.”  And also his “brilliant wife” and “amazing friend” and… He’d gotten the feeling Lemillion was always extra everything, so it was hard to judge any one part of it.

“So, ah,” he said, “I’m supposed to give the Villain course a shot, but after that, we can have a big look around?”  He wasn’t real sure how well that would go.  These days, he was trying to mix up his fighting style, between his mobility based attacks and his long-range blasts.  But both required a certain amount of space and freedom to move. Depending on how it was set up, he could be in for trouble.

“Sounds good to me,” Midoriya said.  “I wanted a shot at that too!”

…Maybe he’d let Midoriya go first.

***

On second thought, Midoriya going first was a bad idea, because the other boy was damn impressive. Isamu watched as the countdown timer sounded off and Midoriya instantly sprang into action.  He took one step back, something Isamu had come to recognize as what was actually a pretty glaring tell, and jumped, negating most of his gravity.  Just before he impacted with the nearest robot Villain, he twisted in midair so that he impacted with the robot feet first, increasing his gravity just long enough to give the impact some power.

Then, with the kind of control that Isamu envied, he immediately negated his gravity again and pushed off, flying through the air towards the next robot like a bullet.  Midoriya had once explained that he’d copied the fighting style of someone called Gran Torino, a Hero that Isamu had never even heard of.  He’d done a little bit of internet searching and found that almost no one had until a few years ago when the man had passed.  He’d apparently even been All Might’s mentor at one time.  But there’d also been a few sparse videos, including from final battle between All Might and All for One more than two decades ago.

He could definitely see the resemblance in fighting styles.  

Again and again, Midoriya bounced from robot to robot, deftly avoiding their strikes and blasts, occasionally even bouncing off the faux rock walls.  He was a constant blur of red, blue, yellow, and green, never even bothering to touch the ground.

In what seemed like too little time, Toshi finally did stop, deftly landing lightly, his hair slightly standing up from the lower gravity, until weight seemed to settle on him like a cloak.  He looked up and gave them all a friendly wave.

“We’ve got a new record!” the announcer declared.  “Toshinori Midoriya… twelve seconds!”

“Go Toshi!” Sora Iida cheered, hands sailing through the air.  “Victory is yours!”

“Whoa!” Togata said, ducking under her arms.  “Careful, Iida!  Arm radius! Arm radius!  We talked about this!”

She dropped her arms to her sides, looking apologetic.  “My apologies, Togata.  I was swept up in the passion of the moment.”

“I think she should make sure to give Midoriya a victory kiss when he gets back up here,” Sero said. “Then again, he might short circuit if you did.”  He made a show of considering this, finger tapping his chin.  “No, wait, you should do it.  I can film it.”

“Is that all you think about?” Togata asked, sounding annoyed.  

“Hey, you’ve got your sciency-stuff, I’ve got fame.  You don’t see me poo-pooing your gizmos and do-dads and thingamabobs.”

Togata gave Tensei Iida a flat look.  “And you’re really dating this.”

Iida shrugged.  “The affairs of the heart are not nearly so quantifiable as the rules of science and engineering.”

Fortunately, Midoriya’s return broke up any further discussion or potential fighting, with the green haired boy landing next to them thanks to another gravity-powered leap. Immediately, Sora Iida threw her arms around him and even planted a kiss on his cheek, leaning Midoriya to blush furiously.

“I knew you could do it!” Iida beamed.  “And a new record!”

Midoriya smiled sheepishly. “Thanks,” he said, still blushing. “If that was my prize, it was definitely worth it.”

Sero clapped his hands to his mouth.  “Oh. Goodness.  Midoriya just tried to be smooth.  I never thought I’d see it.”

“For your information, Sero,” Sora Iida said, fixing him with a glare, her hands on her hips. “Toshi is very smooth! And I will not have you speak badly of him!  Do you understand?!”  There was a surprising undercurrent of a threat to her words.

Sero let out a terrified yelp and jumped into his boyfriend’s arms.   “I understand!  I understand! Don’t hit me!  And if you do hit me, not in the face!”

Midoriya just watched it with the weariness of someone to whom none of this was anything new, then turned to Isamu.  “You up for it?”  There wasn’t any challenge to it, no “let’s see if you can do better” or anything like that, just one friend checking in on another.

Deciding that ignoring the show going on in front of them was probably the best bet, Isamu nodded. “Bring it on.”

***

“Next up,” the announcer said, “winner of U.A.’s first year Sports Festival… Isamu Haimawari!  Let’s see what kind of mark this high speed hero can make!  In three.. two… one!”

On the announcer’s final word, a buzzer sounded and Isamu launched himself forward, racing towards the nearest Villain bot.  They were more humanoid than the robotic Villains they typically trained with at U.A., but still larger than the average person, closer to the size of their classmate Shoji.  But judging by the rounds they’d watched before Midoriya’s turn, their human shape didn’t make them any less effective.

He poured on his speed and bowled the first one over, leading it to smash itself to pieces when it came down. With more speed, he raced up the nearest wall and then onto the ceiling, stretching his left arm so that he could fire energy pulses behind him, striking several more Villain bots with rapid shots and exploding them in a shower of sparks.  He completed his arc and raced down the opposite wall, executing a high speed spin and extending his legs at the bottom, taking down yet another.

The next part was trickier, he needed to get going vertical as well, with robots stationed at the different points on a fake hillside as well as several right in front of him. He didn’t have Midoriya’s gravity jumps, but…

Carefully adjusting his speed, he rocketed towards the nearest robot, came up out of his crouch, the palms of his hands hitting the robot’s torso and letting him slide his way up and over it.  As soon as he was on the robot’s shoulders, he pushed off with his Quirk, unleashing a repulsion blast from all four limbs.  It had the dual effect of launching him forward and also sending the robot flying... right into the others that remained at ground level!

Sailing through the air, Isamu used a couple of controlled bursts to keep himself from flying out of control and landed right in front of the next robot.  He launched himself forward again, racing counter clockwise around the slope, firing pulse after pulse.   When he reached the top, he quickly realized he was going too fast to break and had to apply his adhesion power.

His momentum still nearly sent him flying off and he felt for a moment like his arms were going to give way, but they held.   He crouched there for a moment, trying to catch his breath, before he was able to stand.   Finally, he dared to look up to see his time.

Fifteen seconds. Still pretty good, he thought.

“And Haimawari takes second place with that time!” the announcer said.  “Let’s give him a big hand.”

Above, he could see the crowd cheering.  But more importantly, he could see his friends cheering, louder than anyone.

Maybe he didn’t win here. But he’d given it his all.  And with his friends on his side, that was enough.

***

For Melissa, returning to I-Island was always like coming home.  Small wonder, really, when for much of her life, it had been home.  Pretty much her entire childhood had been spent here.  Even after Papa had been arrested for his part in shutting down the island’s security and attempting to steal the Quirk Enhancer, she’d been so close to graduating that she’d been allowed to stay.   She’d fully expected to spend most of her life here.

But then Uncle Might had called, not long after Izuku had graduated from U.A.  He was giving Izuku Might Tower, he’d said, and wanted him to have nothing less than the best, including a dedicated and in-house Support staff.  Izuku was one of the youngest Pros to helm their own agency ever, but he deserved it. Even here, they’d seen his battles against Shigaraki and the League of Villains.  Practically the whole world seemed to have rallied around him.

Besides, Izuku had been an old friend by that point, not to mention a former long distance boyfriend. They’d dated for a little bit during his second year of U.A., and a little into his third, even gotten to see each other in person a few times.  It hadn’t gotten very far before they’d decided they were better off as just friends, and friends they’d stayed.

If she hadn’t taken that job, she’d never have met Mirio (And boy, had Ochaco been quick to suggest she date him), never had her three amazing children…  No, even if she got a little homesick for I-Island or America sometimes, she was always certain she’d made the right choice.  Japan had been something of an adjustment, of course. On a per population basis, they had far fewer Quirkless people than most countries, of what was already an increasingly shrinking population.  Add being a foreigner on top of that and well… Some people had not been particularly nice.  But that was, for the most part, long behind her.  As the brains behind the top two Heroes in Japan and a multitude of sidekicks, she’d more than proven herself.

Of course, she still made it a point to return for the Expo.  But this year, it wasn’t just about that.  The Expo was part of why she was here, but it also served as an excellent fact finding cover.

The door to the lab recognized her badge and opened to let her inside.  Good.  That meant that her friend had remembered she was coming and gotten her access.  She stepped inside to a myriad array of half completed robots and other mechanical projections in various states of completion. A small smile crossed her lips. Some things never changed.

“Hello?” she called out in Japanese.  “Jinsei? Are you somewhere in this mess?”

Jinsei Saika looked up from a workbench in the back, pushing goggles up onto his head.  He was a tall man, about her age, with numerous scars on his face that stood out sharply, many of them long and jagged-edged.  His dark green hair was longer and shaggier than the last time she’d seen him.  He’d probably been “too busy” for a haircut again.  

“Melissa!” he called out, grinning.  He coughed hard after, but his tone was friendly. She knew his vocal cords had been damaged in the same incident that had given him his scars and that the damage made speaking difficult after long periods of silence.  “How’s the smartest Qurikless person I know?  Aside from me, of course.”

“I’m the only Quirkless person you know besides yourself,” she shot back in equally friendly banter. They’d been friends since their Academy days, their Quirklessness something that had helped them bond.  Even if things hadn’t been particularly rough here, the shared bond of lacking something so many others reveled in had made them good friends.  “And besides, I know my scores were better than yours.”

“It’s good to see you,” Jinsei said, definitely not rising to the bait.  “How’s the family?”

“They’re good,” Melissa replied.  “Mirio’s busier than ever, of course, especially with everything that went on, but he’s positive they’ll turn up the right clues sooner or later.  And the kids are all here with me.  David’s doing well in the Support Course at U.A., Nejire’s ranked as one of the top three Hero Course students, and Deku says Tamaki could go solo in just a year or two if he wanted to.  Of course, he likes working with Deku and being his Sidekick, so even if he did go solo, he’d probably still end up just working with him all the time anyway.”

She was definitely proud of all her children. David took after her and Papa and was already inventing amazing things.  Nejire may have had some occasional issues with making common sense decisions, but she had a heart bigger than almost anyone.  Melissa had met her mentor, the Laughing Man, several times, and he always spoke highly of her. Tamaki wasn’t even twenty year and already well on his way to being an incredible Hero.  She owed Deku more than she could ever repay for helping her eldest achieve his dreams.

“And what about you?” she asked.  “Is there anyone or…?”  She trailed off, aware she was treading into awkward waters.

Jensei shook his head. “No, no, there’s just me.  But I have my work.  And I have my friends.  That’s enough.”  His eyes darted to a small desk in one corner of the lab, adorned with pictures of Jensei and a smiling woman and two smiling children, a boy and a girl, neither older than five or six.  

Melissa didn’t know how he carried on.  If she lost Mirio or any of the kids…

He smiled ruefully and shook his head.  “But you didn’t come all this way just to catch up, now did you?”

“If only,” she replied, pulling out a small thumb drive.  “Mei and I have looked the remains over from top to bottom and come up with nothing.  Even the best forensic experts the HPSC can offer hasn’t been able to find any major clues. We can match the DNA the robots were wrapped in to the Nomu corpse that was stolen when it was being transferred between secure sites, but that’s about it.

“You’re probably the best robotics expert we know, Jensei.  Think you can help us out?”

“Something nothing all the Heroes and their friends can figure out?” Jensei asked.  There was something slightly bitter and mocking in his tone.  “I guess I’d better give it my best then…”

***

“You okay there, Haimawari?”

Isamu jerked and looked up and found Tamaki Togata in front of him, tall, blond, and muscular, wearing his costume.  He gave the Sidekick a smile, rubbing the back of his head.  “Yeah, just finding this all a little overwhelming.  I’ve been to a few Hero-Cons and there’s Naru-Fest back home and all, but this is all just a little overwhelming.”   He gestured vaguely to the crowd around them and the different booths offering Hero merch or Support equipment.  The crowd was huge, with both Pro-Heroes, Sidekicks, Support developers, and civillians.  

“Plus,” he added, “they had me on a panel with some other first place finishers from some other Hero Schools. Questions from the audience, that kind of thing.  Wasn’t so bad, I guess, but even with the clips they had, U.A.’s is the only televised one, so…”

“All the eyes were on you?” Togata guessed.

Isamu nodded. Sure, Midoriya and the others had been in the crowd too, so he’d been able to get at least a little bit of reassurance by looking at them when he’d started to falter, but it had still been a nerve wracking experience.  They were supposed to get media training later in the year, but that hadn’t helped him now.

He’d told his friends he needed a little time to clear his head and that he’d catch up to them later. In spite of their reassurances, he still felt like he’d made a total fool of himself.  Asked about strategies, he’d credited Midoriya for the Obstacle Course, and just gone with “try not to get hit” as his manta for the rest.  Not exactly the most inspiring story.

“Yeah.  And the second and third year winners.”   There had been Hiroaki Gushiken, from 2-B, who had the Quirk Mirror, which let him reflect things back at their source, and Ahmya Amamiya from 3-C, who had the Quirk Storm, which granted her localized weather control.  Both so much more impressive Quirks than his own Slide and Glide, even with the newer tricks he’d been teasing out of it.

“Not used to all the attention?” Togata asked, seemingly sensing his discomfort.  

He shook his head. “Not at all.  Most of the time, I try really hard not to remember I was on national TV winning one of the biggest events in the country.”  He’d made peace (mostly) with the fact that he’d won, accepted that while there was certainly some element of luck to it, that speed and quick thinking had made a enough of a difference for him to claim victory. Midoriya and the rest had pounded that particular item into him well enough.  There was luck, but no one was that lucky.

Well, except perhaps for the Gambler Hero: Blackjack, who could warp probabilities in his favor. But that was neither here nor there.

Togata smiled reassuringly. “Trust me, it doesn’t get much easier when you’re a Pro or a Sidekick.  If anything, there’s only more eyes on you.  Especially the higher up you rise.”  He chuckled.  “Being the Number One Sidekick to the Number One Hero, and son of the Number Two, well…”

Right!  Togata had probably been dealing with that kind of exposure his whole career.  Even with a relatively simple Quirk that let him enhance the density of his muscle fibers for extra strength, he’d made quite the splash, winning the Sports Festival in his own third year.  Though he hadn’t made much of an impression his first year at U.A., Isamu knew that Togata had later interned under Ground Zero one year and Deku the next, immediately jumping from that to a Work Study, and a Sidekick job right out of graduation. That kind of high profile circumstances had to come with a lot of eyes.

Togata led them over to a stand selling drinks, purchasing a pair of fruit drinks in souvenir Deku glasses. Even having met the man himself, Isamu couldn’t help but feel a little fanboy thrill.  Okay, a big fanboy thrill.  Exclusive merch was always awesome.  

“Does it get easier?” Isamu asked, once they’d found a bench to sit and talk.

Togata gave that some consideration.  “Yes… and also no.”   Well, that was reassuring.  “You get used to it, is more like it.  Fame is part and parcel of being a Hero, unless you’re one of the Underground types.  Making the news, merchandise, public opinion polls, the rankings, that’s something Hero society’s never really completely gotten rid of. But it eventually starts becoming part of the background radiation, rather than the most pressing thing. But that also means you never really stop being aware of the eyes on you.  …Or of trying to live up to all the expectations put on you.”

There was something odd about the way he said the last part of that, Isamu thought.  But Togata didn’t elaborate.

“But you’re a first year student,” Togata went on.  “Even with your accomplishments so far, you’re got a lot of time to make a name for yourself, and a lot of time to figure out exactly who you want to be.”

“I really just want to help people,” Isamu told him.  “My dad says helping people is one of the best things a person can do.  He missed his chance at going to a Hero school, so he found other, small ways to help people.  Still does.  But I think there’s a part of him that still regrets missing his big shot.  And I’ve got the same Quirk as him.  So if I can do something, I should.  Not for the fame or anything like that, I’d rather just be known for my good deeds.  Maybe inspire some other people to do good because it…”

Togata was grinning broadly at that.

“What?” Isamu asked.

“Nothing,” Togata said. “Just… what you said just now, reminds me an awful lot of Uncle Deku”  

***

“Really, dahling, your talent for circumventing security systems never fails to impress.”

Crouched in the hallway, many levels down in the main laboratory building of the island, with a circuit panel open in front of her, Rei Toga gave the masked woman next to her a grin.   “How else am I supposed to visit Granny? Uncle Sho’ keeps trying to up the game so I can’t get in.”  She grinned wider.  “He ain’t beaten me yet.”

Miss Compress shook her head.  “You do love your family, don’t you, dahling?”

“Well, most of ‘em,” Rei told her, before returning back to the job at hand.  I-Island security had gotten a lot smarter over the years. Parts of it were still computer controlled, but they’d also tried to subvert total take overs with manual pieces.   The League’s leader had made arrangements to keep the security cameras on a loop, but accessing this particular corridor beneath the island was entirely up to them.  But it didn’t take more than a few minutes to bypass the lock, the door sliding open with a hydraulic hiss.

Miss Compress offered her a complimentary tip of her hat, then pointed down the hallway with her cane. If the schedule they’d memorized was correct, they had more than a good twenty minutes before anyone would be coming.

It was just her and Compress.  Overrdive was trailing the island in a boat, carefully stealth screened, but Doctor Ursa and the other members remained back in Japan.  But they had more than enough skills for the job at hand.  Between her talent for subverting security systems and Compress’s stagecraft, they didn’t even need their Quirks.

Of course, they’d been told not to kill anyone they didn’t have to, which was a shame.  She’d just gotten her knives sharpened!  What was she supposed to do, not stab people?  Why did she even have knives if she wasn’t supposed to stab people with them? Cut then open, set their blood on fire with her Quirk…

Sometimes, she just did not understand their leader.

Inside, the corridor opened into a large, semi-circular chamber, the outer wall lined with… not exactly cells—No one who worked here or lived in them would call them that—but they might as well have been. She hadn’t been surprised to learn such a place existed, merely disappointed.  

“I dare say,” Compress said, sucking in a breath, “I didn’t expect there to be so many…”

“Ain’t that just the way of it?” Rei said, following her inside.  “A buncha years ago, the government’s lockin’ people up for havin’ ‘dangerous’ Quirks, and now people’re doing it to themselves voluntarily.”

It was, technically, true that everyone here at the I-Island Quirk Research Center was here voluntarily. Most of them had nicely appointed rooms, televisions, books and other entertainment, and full contact with their friends and loved ones.   Each and every one had made the decision to come here themselves.

For some of them, for those that had come from other countries, that might even have been true. For those who came from Japan, which seemed overrepresented in the occupancy, each and every one of them had also had it “suggested” to them by the Center for Quirk Research.  And not in the kind of way you turned down.  It was, in theory, kinder than they days of Plague and Manticore and the like, where having a “dangerous” Quirk got you locked up in a dank cell and the key thrown away, hunted by men like her grandfather until they caught you.

Each and every person here had a Quirk that made them dangerous to the world around them in some fashion.  There was one who slowly and uncontrollably released cyanide gas.  There was another who constantly generated a psychic field that made everyone around them fall asleep.  There was yet another who was on fire all the time.

They had come here with the promise of protecting others from themselves, with the possibility that I-Island’s research into Quirks would eventually allow them to leave and live normal lives.  And some of them could have been very useful to the League’s cause, but they would never have joined them.  They didn’t believe.

They were not who they were there for.

Her eyes fell on a particular nameplate.  

AYUMU SETSUSHI

QUIRK: DELIRIUM

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh Ep7 S1: Fish Science

When I watched this I thought we’d be spending I dunno four episodes max wandering through the woods. I figured that it would never come into play that our main characters would have absolutely no idea how to rough it out since they grew up in the inner city.

I assumed that this kids show wouldn’t come full circle, get all Neil Degrasse Tyson, and ever fill in these plot holes like “if they’re on an abandoned island, what do they eat?” but here I am, eating crow while these kids face a grim reality of life without vending machines--not even the useless kind that sell only apples (man I hate those. I’m a microwave burrito vending machine type of girl).

(more under the cut)

Like, I’m recapping this mostly out of morbid curiosity but I am pretty surprised that the VA’s for this show have a pretty good rapport with each other. It’s often trivial lines they have to deliver and it’s your typical Sat morning cartoon faire, but occasionally they throw out these burns and it’s like Damn, son. That was a good line. Like when Tristan’s shilling out how much he loves this camping book Joey says, in an improvised way that you’d miss if you blinked “eh, can we eat it?”

You don’t expect it in a show so conflicted in tone, but I’ve noticed the best TV comes when characters get a chance to hang out--and so when you get that, they actually do a pretty good job. It’s kind of a shame that these moments are overshadowed by the show’s infamous internet reputation. But, I have seen worse TV. I watched 6 seasons of Once Upon a Time.

But, we find out this episode that Joey has an insatiable appetite for the nastiest bulgy eyed fish I’ve ever seen drawn.

It’s anime food worth hardly even an a e s t h e t i c s video with slow ambient music on top. But, youknow, the kids are starving, and while Mei and Yugi are like “I think I’ll pass on the briquette battered sea thing down there.” The other two boys have this tendency towards light mugging and light thievery anyway and they seem overly excited to get back to their favorite vices.

this is a lovely drawn shot, by the way.

Anyway, we can guess correctly that the owner of these fish is the giant shirtless man of a few episodes ago, who I guess has just been fishing this entire time.

While Yugi recognizes him as a duelist of some accomplishment, the guy has a very little run on the show so I’ll just sum him up right here for you:

I really want some backstory as to why this guy hates Keiba so much, but like...we don’t get that backstory. The backstory we do get is strangely off-putting for this pratfall episode.

After a meal of fishes and I guess an octopus? (Joey and Tristan were very insistent on eating some gross octopus even though I’m pretty sure you have to prep those like quite a lot) They get up to go, saying tata to their new friend, the only nice person on this whole island and

As it turns out, Mako was laying fish out to catch hungry duelists, but I guess this fish was just so gross that Yugi’s crew was one of only two people to get caught that day. You’d think he’d like poison the fish or something, but there’s only so much runtime to this episode so lets switch over to Pharaoh and get dueling.

I don’t normally cover the duels but this one is a little weird.

Yugi plays a card that you don’t really expect from a deck full of spider dragons and creepy millipede things. And, for what feels like the first time, he makes a grave mistake.

But real fast we gotta send home that Mako’s Dad is super tragic, because it’s not Yugioh without some unnecessary dark stuff.

Because the lifeboat was missing from their ship, Mako is convinced that his father is alive--and I dunno, maybe this’ll come back later? I dunno. I dunno if I care. Clearly, Pharaoh/Yugi doesn’t either.

And normally Pharaohs dilemmas are quickly solved by having a kill-all card. And so now, ask yourself, what kill-all card would remove the moon? I’m not quite sure how Yugioh works but I’m sure there’s some remove-attachment spell or maybe a Sun he can play?

And something my bro pointed out to me--this actual card has a yellow bottom, which apparently means this card doesn’t do anything. It’s just a monster card. But, don’t tell that to the writing staff on this show.

Seems like not the most efficient way to do that but, this is the same guy that put Keiba in a coma so he doesn’t know how to do things small.

And then Pharaoh horrifically burnt alive all of Mako’s monsters to which his friends gave him a...a face

What the hell is this face??? Is this some anime thing I’ve never seen before? What is this???

Gross face aside, the battle is won, and this filler episode is over. Yugi now has five chips, halfway there to confronting Pegasus (who really, when you think about it, only wants the puzzle so why even bother with the tournament? Why not just let him in? Whatever) And halfway there to I dunno, maybe ever realizing that he’s got a Pharaoh as a terrifying alternate personality who sometimes makes him much taller.

[edzasks]

What is your honest review of DTE? Some people are hating it and calling z was high on every episode but I don’t believe that. Others loved it. As a wholesome the show was good. I don’t think they should do another one soon they should take some time then work on the another one because whenever season 1 of something gets super hype the maker instantly start working on season 2 which can turn out to be downgrade. Stranger things s1 was dope but s2 was a downgrade but they improved in s3

I actually haven’t finished it, I’ve seen 3 episodes so far. I really am not a fan of Darrin. I’m sure he’s a good guy and all, but as a host, he’s not a magnetic. What I mean by that is, he’s just boring, despite Zac saying he’s the “guru.” His knowledge is weak. If he was such a guru and that knowledgeable, he’d be more “magnetic.” Hosting just isn’t his calling, hate to say it.

Then there’s the Pseudo Science aspect somebody pointed out. There were so many times where I was watching and then they’d say something regarding x, y, z and I’d just be sitting there like; “ok, they’re full of shit, that’s not true.” Especially the chocolate part. Dark chocolate can be decent for you, but the whole concept of ‘superfood’ is marketing garbage for people to shell out more $.

Obviously there’s some stuff though that does have very intriguing benefits, like e.g Spearmint Tea, can actually help with hormones, inflammation and all. Garlic, etc. Though, I doubt stuff like that will be shown on the show.

Other than that, I like the whole concept of the show since it is a travel-educational-help the planet-healthy living show. Just wish it was Dylan who was Zac’s co-host, not Darrin and both Dylan and Zac travelling all over to learn about healthy living, lifestyles, travel, while trying out real beneficial jobs being the main focus.

Doesn’t help either that Darrin has history with shilling and pushing the concept of snake-oil BS, like detox smoothies, which cracks me up.

So, yeah, the show is OK. Also, some of the hype around stuff like the prayer stuff / fountain being a miracle cure should be toned down a bit.... If they do stuff like that in the future. 

[pkrs-fr]

wisteria whirls: the shortcut edition

Alright, I’m lazy as hell and have realized I’m never going to get my lore together (at least in a timely fashion). I really want to send out a general idea of what’s happening in my clan because I’m sick of half my dragons and want to do a lair purge, but can’t without a Lore Reason because it’d bother me. So here’s the abbreviated version of What’s Going Down and What Has Gone Down, feat. the snarky tone I use when I really don’t want to be writing stuff and can’t take things seriously.

My clan lore revolves around two struggles for the most part: “how many familiars is Enough” and “what are the limits of humanity” or something like that. Y’know. Just “is what we’re doing SERIOUSLY a moral thing to do”, applied to a whole bunch of situations. What’s a story?

Oh also here’s the page with lore and titles and stuff. Fancy.

1. In the beginning, there was Titania, a Fae who hatched in the realm of the Arcanist and wandered for years before meeting Solus. Solus was kind of a jerk but hey he was better than wandering and their magic apparently worked well together to make a bunch of little dragonbabies. They settled in the Crystalspine Reaches and quickly made long-distance allies in Wind and Lightning. These Wind and Lightning clans sent Notturna and Aya respectively. Notturna helped Titania with day-to-day duties, and Aya used his knowledge of. Another clan, one from Light, sent a hatchling named Marimba.

Titania found the Auction House went on a journey around the fringes of the Starfall Isles and rescued a bunch of kids. Byzantium, Aster, Opalus, Tiay, and Geode. Byzantium and Aster bonded with Marimba quickly and became the clan’s fighters. Opalus became an alchemist, and Tiay and Geode became interior and fashion designers respectively. Gotta make this lair livable SOMEHOW.

However, something quickly became apparent and that something was “Solus is a racist prick”. In his eyes, none of these new additions to the clan were valid members of Arcane because they came from other flights. Dude. Chill.

2.  Notturna and Aya mated and kept Auxiliary, who became a healer in training under Aya’s tutelage. Along the way, Notturna found her own out of flight babies, those being Fulgurite (Lightning rep), Julien (clan mascot and woobie), and Pendergast (guy who sits there and is abrasively protective). They also found an old Pearlcatcher named Blake wandering around and being a prick. Although they only meant to shelter him for like three days or something, it got out of hand and now he’s a permanent fixture and no one likes him except Fulgurite for some reason. Like, they mated. And had eggs. So many eggs. Do you want an egg? I don’t want an egg. Please take their eggs.

Anyway a problem was that Pendergast immediately took his charge to be Tiay and was a massive jerk about it. “Don’t come anywhere near her she’s my charge” sort of thing. Another problem was that Blake was a filthy freeloader and we’re not sure why we didn’t kick him out but here he is, 2 years later, still being a dick.

Four more hatchlings came to the clan. Ruby, Leviathan, Phaino, Tridacna, and Tanzanite. Ruby and Leviathan immediately stuck together like glue and refused to stop plotting the clan’s downfall, as tiny troublemakers are wont to do. Phaino went with Opalus to become an apprentice alchemist, Tridacna wanted to become a coli fighter, and Tanzanite also is a freeloader but at least she does jobs that she’s asked to do. (just @ blake next time) Anyway Opalus is like the dad to all these kids now.

3. Even more new dragons. Rhyolite was brought in as an ambassador to Fire, and Fulgurite remained a Lightning ambassador. (To this day I have friends in neither flight.) Adonia came to the clan as well and was tiny and cute so she became the representative and messenger of the clan itself. That’s cool.

Gavotte and Robyn came along as well as Merriam and Gioclase. Gavotte and Robyn became journalists and started documenting what happened in the clan, so that was cool. Merriam was convinced she was a wizard. I don’t know why, don’t ask why. She has zero combat experience and regularly convinces herself that she’s a Nature/Fire/Wind/whatever mage. She’s an Ice dragon. Why is she like this. Gioclase, as a rogue for hire, immediately gravitated to Leviathan and Ruby and they just plotted for weeks on end.

More importantly, there was Fortissimo. Fortissimo was cranky but he had a good reason for that, that being “he’s prone to magical outbursts for no reason that often end up destroying chunks of the lair and he hates it”. He tried to keep that on the down low so no one really paid attention or noticed. He thought Merriam was pretty cute though and also eggs. E G G S

Hirwen and Nacre are also there. I forgot to put this in my outline. Hirwen saw the clan, went “nah”, and then abandoned it for a while. She came back though. Now Nacre, her girlfriend, is sad and full of abandonment issues. Anyway they’re both mechanics.

4. It was my birthday and I hatched one of Fortissimo and Merriam’s nests. The very first child of their entire Coatl/Nocturne 3% Coatl rate was, in fact, a Coatl named Vega. I kept him. He’s my avatar. The IMPORTANT THING IS he also had a brother named Pulsar, who proceeded to wreck things with a giant magical blast. Things happened and basically Fortissimo is now Very Dangerous And Full Of Magic. Vega could stay because he didn’t seem to exhibit any of the magical outburst things, but he was given some semi-parasitic mushrooms to feed off of his magical energy (wait I could make a new lore thing out of this) and keep outbursts from happening.

There was also Theia, who immediately flocked to Under Gavotte and Robyn’s Wings and became an amateur journalist who put on adorable little “okay this is what happened in the clan” things. And Aubade, who was an Imperial for a while and thought it too clunky so he got breed changed to a Fae. Follow your dreams. Aubade tended to see the good in everyone and everything.

Also the fact that Pulsar was taken away from the clan led Vega to develop serious abandonment issues but shhh

5. Aya thought that Solus’s blatant racism was pretty bad so he organized a squad of people to check it out and figure out how to convince everyone else to throw him out. They all wore birdskulls. It was cool.

6. Mie and Shilling came into the clan to work as hoard guards with Mila, an old and cantankerous drill sergeant. About as soon as this happened, Solus started being Extremely Cranky, the worst he’d ever been. Gioclase immediately bailed because he was a cowardly wretch. Mie and Shilling were mostly confused and politely asked to leave, please. (And so they did.) Robyn and Gavotte were screamed at by Solus and understandably left, leaving Theia feeling very alone and sad. Mila left too, mostly because she got bored. Same with Tridacna.

In the meantime, someone realized we had WAY too many dragons in the clan, so we moved to the Starwood Strand. And stayed there. Because the aesthetic is good.

Also I think I had dragons named Linnia and Kranion at some point but I forgot what they did and I sold them anyway so who cares.

7. So by the way our hoard apparently needs guarding. Mie and Shilling did this for a while, watched over by Mila. Unfortunately they all left. Amaris and Amicitia came along later but that’s not relevant right now. But here’s the thing about how our familiars work: Coli enemies are typically just puppets controlled by the Shade at this point, and defeating them drives the Shade out, leaving them lifeless. HOWEVER they sometimes imprint on a warrior dragon and go home with them, but they’re reliant on the magical energy of the dragon to Maybe Not Die. This is unfortunately impractical when your clan has upwards of 800 familiars, so Hirwen and Nacre rigged a device to use the elemental energy contained in festival currency and chests to keep the familiars from dying forever. But no one has to KNOW that.

So that’s why we need a familiar commissioner to watch over them and the hoard guards don’t know why they’re guarding the hoard. It’s very serious business.

8. Along the way somewhere, we picked up a dragon named Acapella, and obviously she was Shade-possessed. I mean there’s a 666 in her ID. I think I just ran with it. Anyway everyone’s suspicious of her and her actions, except maybe Aubade, who started having weird dreams about a singing Mirror child. Coincidentally, Amaris and Karalynn came to the clan. Karalynn’s an astronomer and wanted to investigate the influence of Arcane energies on the study of the stars. She then realized that there was a massive dark patch over the clan’s area of sky, which was worrisome to say the least.

Amaris is tired all the time and has occasionally prophetic dreams. So that’s cool. The prophetic dreams foretold death and destruction in the clan. So that’s not cool.

9. Okay so we finally got a familiar commissioner and his name is Jones. He brought a mate. She’s Pica, a chocolatier. But whoops a daisy, we also have Boysen, a not-pastry chef! The conflict between Pica and Boysen grew to a head and eventually Phaino stepped in to offer Boysen her patronage. Aw, cute. Insularia came to the clan too, a roaming vagabond who was taking shelter. She immediately became suspicious of Leviathan and cozied up with him to figure out his deal. Ruby is jealous. Amicitia came to the clan too, a wide-awake hoard guard to be friends with Amaris, a never-awake hoard guard. They’re not very effective.

For some reason even though Insularia and Amicitia look entirely different they’re related. I don’t know how that happened.

Oh also I finished my breeding projects around this point and got Zayla, Mel, Oliver, Cory, and Nathaniel as OC fandragons. They’re cute. Just imagine them sitting on the sidelines of the lore and going “not dealing with that” every time something happens.

10. If the familiars stay alive because of dragon energy, and Fortissimo has too much dragon energy, what if we made a machine for him to release excess energy into?

That went terribly and now he’s locked in the Vault in a comatose state because he tripped on a wire. Good job team. But in the aftermath there was an egg, which hatched into a quiet little Noc named “Unnamed”. This is because Denizen and Finite, those lovely Guardians who are my lorekeepers and very creepy, found her in the vault and didn’t see a reason to name her. She never speaks, having no reason to. It’s funny because Finite doesn’t speak either. Literally the only one who speaks is Denizen, and even then it’s a sometimes thing. It’s amazing that no one’s gotten suspicious of them yet but here we are.

Anyway Jones is freaking out. But no one can know about this. NO ONE.

11. Acapella actually managed to influence enough of the Shade to like, crawl out and poke Blake a little. Blake then attacked Tanzanite, who was like “okay Blake is a whiny baby not a fighting whiny baby SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE” so they investigated it and found out that it was, indeed, Acapella’s fault. As it tends to be. For some reason no one’s doing anything about this because Aubade is completely convinced that she’s a good person somewhere. Tanzanite got a breed change to be a Bogsneak to combat Acapella’s influence by going where no dragon in the clan had gone before.

12. Meanwhile, Julien, Pendergast, Geode, and Tiay got tired of dealing with the clan and straight-up left. Notturna is really sad over this. Merriam is also really sad over the fact that FORTISSIMO IS MISSING. So now they’re sort of just holding on to each other and scream-crying.

13. Amaris and Karalynn are gay. Amaris manages to take Karalynn up to see the stars, but ends up passing out. So it turns out stuff’s going down behind the scenes, or something. Bad premonitions. Anyway they hurry back to the lair.

14. Re: the familiars, Jones comes to the realization that Fortissimo is only alive in the loosest sense of the word and that it’s most moral to pull the plug on him. So Fortissimo’s dead now. ONE CASUALTY SO FAR, I guess. Jones announces it to the world, Vega and Merriam are heartbroken. However, the Unnamed starts speaking in plain freaking Draconian that “hey by the way I’m the last child please love me” and so on. Anyway she takes the name Myosotis. Because forget-me-nots. Because don’t forget Fortissimo. Ha. Hahaha.

Jones leaves the clan out of guilt and the weird looks everyone’s giving him. Pica goes too because they’re mates and she likes him more than she likes the clan, and also it’s really dangerous these days. Boysen almost leaves because without Pica’s rivalry, there’s no reason for him to stay and spice up his life. Phaino, his mate, is offended.

15. Acapella somehow influences Solus and makes him think he’s a boss or something and he henceforth wreaks havoc on everyone. He’s like racist, but also dangerous and feral now. Aya attempts to intervene, and winds up dead. TWO CASUALTIES. Notturna freaks out, finally takes a stand for herself, and leaves with Auxiliary in order to protect themselves. Blake gives everyone a really long Reason You Suck speech, except it’s just for the clan, and leaves. Fulgurite follows him. Hirwen is mad because SHE wanted to do a Reason You Suck speech but Blake beat her to it and also leaves. Nacre, not knowing what to do with herself, leaves as well, but on a pilgrimage to the Arcanist to figure out what she’s doing with herself.

16. Leviathan and Ruby are doing just fine causing minor chaos, but Ruby’s heart isn’t really in it. She reveals to him that she’s worried, he laughs it off. He stops laughing it off when Solus leaves Ruby near-dead. She leaves the clan feeling alienated and frustrated, and Leviathan acknowledges his mistakes and feels Really Really Bad. Insularia comforts him somewhat, reveals her past, and makes him feel worse. But he’s more self aware? Anyway they become an Actual Couple instead of a Functional One and Leviathan resolves to reform.

17. Aubade continues to insist that Acapella is not actually mean. There’s some pseudo-religious and science things with notes left behind by Hirwen and a lot of puzzling through with Amaris and Karalynn, but long story short the Shade is banished from Acapella. Yay. Aubade, however, realizes that she’s completely vulnerable at this time, and suggests that she goes to follow the Arcanist as well. He accompanies her to work in her service, leaving Vega and Theia sad and somewhat abandoned. Solus no longer has as much Shade-fueled power to Go Forth And Cause Chaos and he’s really upset about that.

18. Did I say “upset” because I meant “REALLY PISSED OFF”. Solus realizes that everyone’s scared of him and is bitterly joyous about it, He intimidates Rhyolite into leaving and tries to kill Amicitia, and nearly succeeds. Wow everything is so dark™ and edgy™ here in the Whirls. But Amaris and Karalynn save Amicitia by… changing his appearance entirely and also he’s kind of a cyborg now. He’s not sure how to feel about this. I’m not sure how to feel about this, and I wrote it. Just bear with me.

19. Titania finally takes charge and screams at Solus to leave the clan. He does. He’s exalted. Bye binch. With that, everything calms down, but no one wants to try and rebuild.

20. Meanwhile my OC fan dragons are like “well this is a thing that is happening” and generally having a good time while ignoring everything else. They’re approached to lead the clan because they’re the only ones who are having a good time. They agree and have no clue what’s even going on, bless their souls.

ANYWAY YEAH. So half my lair is supposed to be gone. If anyone happens to be interested in buying some I’ll have a thread set up in a week or so to figure out what’s up. Hope this was entertaining and not too long-winded.

[raccoon-is-my-spirit-animal]

Ask and ye shall receive:

                                                             The Betting Shop

  Edward Shelby inspected the building carefully. The outside was rather dull; just another bleak brick house squeezed between numerous other bleak brick houses. But somehow Watery Lane 6 had something that made it special. Edward searched for the special something, but in the end, he decided that all the houses were the same and it was his own projection on the house that made it special. To Ed, this house meant freedom, money and success. A content smile appeared in his face and he unlocked the door. “Ed! Ed! Don’t go in without me!” Matthew’s clear voice hung in the air and Edward stopped dead in his tracks. Everything in him screamed to explore his new dwelling, but he knew he would never do that without his best friend. Said best friend now skidded to a halt before the door that Edward was still holding. Matthew bend over and rested his hands on his knees while he panted. “You okay, Matty?” Edward asked. “I’m fine.  Just had to run all the way from the Cut to make sure you wouldn’t enter our office alone.” Matthew narrowed his eyes, “you weren’t planning on waiting for me, were you, you sly bastard? I saw you enter the house. You entered with determination.” “I would never go in without you, dear partner,” Edward feigned innocence, but then a smile appeared in his face. “Ready?”

“You bet.”

Edward rolled his eyes at pun and entered the building for a second time. Inside, it smelled musty. The dust swirled through the air, disturbed by the sudden motions of the newcomers. The large space before them had obviously been abandoned for some time. Chairs and tables stood haphazardly in the room and papers and other trinkets decorated the wooden floor. “It’s—uh, well, old?” Matthew said, searching for words, “it will need some cleaning, that’s for sure, it is--”

“It’s ours,” Edward beamed. He turned around and faced his friend. “This exactly what we need, can’t you see?” Ed began to walk through the room. “This is where people will place their bets. And here we will count the pennies and shillings. And over here on the platform, we will hang a chalkboard for the scores!” He crouched down and picked up a chair. “All it needs is some dusting, then this betting shop will be up and running!”

Matthew rubbed his chin, “yeah, but I still don’t know how we are going to get all those people to lay bets. I mean what are they going to bet on? Ed, it is not like we are betting on the fastest fly.”

Edward’s smile fell and the doubts crept in. His friend was right, but he needed to remain optimistic. He needed this to succeed. His entire family depended on the income the expected to make with this business. Matthew saw the sudden change in his friend and decided to change the subject for the time being. “I’ll just go get my mother’s sweeper. Let’s start with that, shall we?” Edward smiled a tired smile. This was exactly the reason he had asked Matthew to do this with him. Matthew always thought ahead. Instead of dwelling on problems, like Ed was prone to do, Matthew jumped into action. Matthew had been Edward’s friend for many years. Together with their other friends, Robby and Sam, they had lain thousands of bets by the Cut. Two pence if Matt could jump to the other side of the canal. A shilling if Robby could steal a scone from the bakery with the mean baker. Another one if Sam could drink the whole bottle of whiskey.

Edward had been quite good at betting, having a keen eye for chance and possibilities, but there was never any pressure to earn money with their games. That all changed when Ed’s father tragically died in an accident. In a mere day, Edward’s whole life had changed and now, as the oldest son in the Shelby family, it was his duty to earn an income for his mother and siblings. His mother had suggested he’d take on a job in the factory, but the thought of working night and day in the factory caused shivering’s to run over his spine. Edward shook his head and actually stamped on the ground to rid his mind of the doubts. His family came from a long line of kings and queens, goddammit! Never, ever, would he work in a factory. This betting shop was his ticket to a better and wealthier life, and he would solve every problem with determination and patience. And with that he started to clean up the place. Matthew returned with the broom and sweeped up the dust. All morning the boys worked and, in the afternoon,, they put all the tables and chairs in position. But at some point, Matthew brought the problem up again and Edward knew that he couldn’t avoid it any longer. “Alright, sit down, Edward, we are going to set up our business. What are people going to bet on?”

The question hung in the air and both boys fell silent, trying to come up with an answer. “Boxing,” Edward offered. “No, women won’t like that, and they will be at least a third of our clientele.” “Look at you, using word like clientele,” Edward said. Matthew smiled, then perked up, “how about we organize races between the boys in Small Heath?”

“No can do, we’d need a permit.” “Listen, Ed, technically, we need a permit for a betting shop too.”

“Yes, but we can run this quietly and illegally. If we start organizing public races, we’d be discovered very soon.” Matthew grunted, but he knew Edward was right. The two friends went on like this for a while. One offering ideas only for them to be thrown aside by the other. After two hours, Matthew had had enough. “That’s it. I’m going.”

Edward had his head in his hands, “going where?” he said in desperation. “To that new bar, The Garrison. It looks promising and Robby said that they served whiskey and that is exactly what I need right now. Whisky and a pretty girl.” “Don’t kid yourself. You don’t want any pretty girl, you want Theresa.” “Right, I swear, Ed, after this business is running, I am going to ask Tessa to marry me. We are made for each other.” And with that, Matthew turned around and went outside. He hadn’t asked if Edward would like to go too, and that was only because Matthew knew that if Edward was going to drink now, his mood would only worsen. Edward sighed and let his head rest on the table. How were they ever going to get this business off the ground if they didn’t even know what to bet on?

He closed his eyes and although he hadn’t felt very tired before, now the sleepiness hit him like a train and his drifted off into sleep. And he dreamt.

  The room in Watery Lane 6 was totally different. It was light and breezy. The tables were set in different positions and the walls were painted a different colour. But the most striking difference was that the room was filled with people. At least 20 men and one woman were standing around one man, who was holding a paper. The man had an impressive haircut, was wearing a flawless suit and had beautiful blue eyes. The exact same colour as Edwards. The man held up the paper high and started to speak. “Gentlemen,” he paused and gestured to the woman, “and lady. I have in my hand a legal betting license. Issued by the board of control.” His audience stayed quiet but the mood in the room was an expectant one. “The Shelby family has its first legal racetrack pitch.” A radiant smile appeared on the face of the man and the room exploded into cheers. One man roared in delight. “Tommy!” he yelled and he, the woman and another young man embraced the man with the blue eyes, Tommy. Now that they were standing all together, a family resemblance could be seen, The Shelby family. The woman had Edward’s hair colour and as noticed before Tommy had Edward’s eyes. The happiness in the room was palpable and the sun seemed to shine a little brighter on the family in the betting shop.

  Edward woke up. Outside it was already dark and the moon shone through the dusty window. His shop empty and cold. Some of the papers ruffled as a draught caught hold of it. But Edward didn’t see it. He saw the room as it was in his dream, with all the people and the legal betting license. With his family, his descendants. Of that he had no doubt. His mother had often talked about ‘gypsy senses’ and Edward knew that he had seen his family, years from now, in this very same room, celebrating their first legal race pitch. It didn’t bother Edward in the slightest that the first legal activity of this shop would be decades from now. He had seen that the shop had been successful before the legal pitch. He had seen the towers of pennies on the tables and betting slips in all kinds of colours. And suddenly he knew how to continue. The betting shop he and Matthew would run, would be focused on horse racing. Edward jumped up and grabbed his coat. He ran to the door and slammed it shut behind him. Out on the streets, he ran and ran all the way to the new bar Matthew had talked about. The Garage? The Garlimon? He didn’t care about the name. He ran and ran and by the time he reached the bar, he was panting like a madman. He pushed the doors open and saw his friend at the bar, talking to his girl, Tessa. “Matt!” he yelled, “You can propose to her now! We are going to bet on horse races!”

Is anyone else just really curious about how the Shelby betting business got started??! I mean, obviously it was up and running before the war, because Polly mentioned they took care of it while the boys were away. Who came up with the plan (Tommy?), his father maybe before them or grandfather even, the one who doesn’t believe in honest bloody money. How did they start it all, just started one day by collecting bets? I have so many questions...

[jenniferasberryus]

Why Sonic Is the Perfect Mascot for Gen Z

Ever since the film based on the Genesis’ Sonic games got regenerated for Gen Zs, it’s got me thinking: “Gen Z’s” sounds a lot like “Genesis.” But, beyond that, it’s got me thinking about the ever-improving system we have in place for marketing nostalgia to Millenials, while also trying to convince new clusters of Gen Z kids to embrace these characters and franchises as their own.

Marvel comics became the MCU, the Star Wars continue unabated, and everyone’s so aware that we’re living in recycled times that... that’s all I’m really going to say about it. What’s interesting to me is just how perfect Sonic the Hedgehog is as a vehicle for this kind of weaponized nostalgia, and how he’s served as a measure of our relationship to coolness for three generations now.

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Obviously, by casting Jim Carrey in a wacky role and re-doing the CG to make Sonic look more like his classic self, the filmmakers aren’t shying away from appealing to fond Millenial memories (you know, for money!). But Sonic remains primarily a kids’ movie, and thinking about the ways that today’s young people may relate to the blue blur made me realize that Sonic said a lot more about the Millennial generation than we realized - whether he intended to or not - and he sheds light on some of the things that connect us across time, no matter our generation...except for the Boomers, who I guess we all hate now? Is that the meme? Regardless, to understand why Sonic is the fuzzy multi-generational mirror that he is, we’re going to need...

A Bit of a History Lesson

To be clear, I’m considering a Baby Boomer someone born between 1950 and 1965, a Gen X-er someone born between ‘65 and ‘80, a Millenial someone born between ‘80 and ‘95 (prime Sonic age), and a Gen Z-er anyone born after 1995.

When Sonic was initially released in 1991, I was six years old, and “being cool” was super important both to myself and all of my peers (except for the kid who brought a gavel to school every day). What I think younger folks today might not understand is that this quest for coolness was not about authenticity, individuality, or any kind of meta-awareness of our identities. We weren’t “cool,” we were Cool™, and Coolness™ was defined by brands, something most of us didn’t grow up with the media-savvy to question. It was about being in a minority product vertical: skateboarding, black clothes, skitchin’, rap and/or punk rock on MTV, and unironically spelling the word “extreme” with a capital X.

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Speaking of irony, I’d argue that the ’90s were the decade where Detached Irony was born, grew up, got perfected as chronicled in the 1995 Alanis Morisette song “Ironic,” and, in a sense, died. Irony is a toy we make memes with nowadays, but it used to be what we used to identify ourselves as - we were misfits who were “over it,” and therefore cooler than you. You were Coke, we were Pepsi. Flash forward twenty years and I’d call myself more of a Blueberry Acai caffeine-free Diet Coke guy; my point being that identity issues have gotten more complex over the years. And Sonic has all of that wrapped up in his fur. Needles? His…hedgehog...texture.

The ’90s were a gaming landscape dominated by Mario: a fat, middle-aged human who focuses primarily on jumping. This made Sonic feel like pure, uncut, corporate-designed cool in a way that immediately juiced the X-centers of my brain. If you were a Sega kid, you felt indie, edgy, a little more Pitchfork than your Nintendo playmates. Sonic focused on going fast, his head had Liberty Spikes, and he was such a crude, rude, awesome dude that if you stopped playing for a few seconds he’d look right into camera and give you the stink eye for wasting his time.

Amazingly, none of that seemed corny to us at the time. Sonic’s Cool was genuine and accepted by his fans with a naivete born of the mono-media culture of the ’70s and ’80s, and which has been slowly decaying ever since Fonzie jumped the shark. These days it’s almost been completely dispelled as the internet and other technologies drive us to be more aware of the systems around us from a younger and younger age.

Considering that, it’s no coincidence that the 90’s saw the ascendance of grunge music, pop-punk, an explosion in goth culture, the advent of “The Gritty Reboot,” and popular films with nihilism as a central theme. As a culture, we became obsessed with the “fakeness” of all the sheeple around us — irony became a way to interact with the broader world, and a signature part of the Gen X and Millenial attitude. Suddenly we were only interested in bands that hadn’t “sold out” yet, and anyone who didn’t think everything sucked was probably a phony.

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In that environment, Sonic’s cool started to taste a little Chemical Zone-ey, a little factory-produced. Although the fact that his transition to 3-D graphics was far less graceful than Mario’s was definitely a factor, as a pop-cultural icon Sonic had to shift gears, too. The first Sonic TV show, essentially a kid’s comedy, was canceled and replaced with a much more action-packed and serious take on the Battle for Mobius (if you didn’t know, Sonic’s from a planet called Mobius in the year 3235, but it’s best not to question it).

During the same period, Sonic stopped moving merch, and Sega announced their retirement from the console wars. Which finally brings us to Gen Z, the generation that’s proud to be themselves and frankly doesn’t give a f**k what you think about it.

Sonic & Gen Z (or... Zennials or… Whatever You/They Want to Call Your/Themselves)

These days, truly being yourself, unique, authentic… just you, is huge business. Youtube and Twitch are filled with child billionaires who lean into their personality quirks and are loved specifically for that reason. Also some racism. But the bigger point is, in the new normal, ironic detachment isn’t nearly as valuable. It’s actually cooler, these days, to be into something than to be over something. Young people feel more empowered to simply like what they like, which makes it an ideal time for Sonic to re-enter the fray.

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None of this is to say the movie will definitely do well (or even be good), but as a Sonic fan for life, it’s been interesting to watch him go from cool, to corporatized and “fake”, to “kinda corny and silly and… still fake, but that’s what’s funny about it.” The whole debacle with the initial CG Sonic reveal speaks to that...the filmmakers tried to make Sonic “realistic” and the internet said, “No you idiots, he’s a cartoon rascal that thinks he’s too cool for school, just let him be that!”

Gen Z is the first generation of humans to have grown up fully immersed in a digitally-enhanced society. Everyone is able to indulge their interests and hobbies much more thoroughly now, which has resulted in a galaxy of fragmented fan-bases and communal identities that make the “Are you a Sega person or a Nintendo person?” question seems quaint by comparison.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2019/03/01/why-are-there-no-good-video-game-movies"]

Nowadays, someone isn’t just a Nintendo or Sega player - they’re an anime cosplayer with an interest in tabletop gaming, or a maker of pixel-beats who crochets Star Wars scarves on Etsy in their spare time. The pop culture landscape is richer. Case in point: there were 130 more movies released in the US in 2018 than in 2017, and the number of scripted TV series’ have increased by 85% since 2011. In such a dynamic environment, generalizations are tough to make, but there is a lot of statistical data on Gen Z folks -- mostly marketing data about buying trends, because Capitalsim™ -- that I think bodes well for the possibility of a Sonic Renaissance.

Environmental Consciousness

Gen Z kids are more concerned about pollution, sustainability, and conservancy than any previous generation. Sonic the Hedgehog’s arch-nemesis is a boomer in a non-self-driving vehicle who’s here to automate all the flowers and animals and build a giant factory.

Fiscal Responsibility

Gen Z-ers are notoriously thrifty, more likely to work a series of freelance jobs or change careers frequently, and always looking for bargains or a place to live that they can actually afford. Sonic the Hedgehog hoards gold rings and emeralds and is in danger of being gentrified out of his neighborhood.

Cord-Cutters

Gen Z is the generation that “cut the cable,” and consumes most of their content on their mobiles, seeing screens as essentially interchangeable and TV as outdated. Sonic destroys hundreds of old-fashioned TVs every game and is mobility incarnate.

Data Protection

Gen Z places less emphasis on the importance of personal privacy. Sonic wears gloves and shoes but no pants.

Ethically-Sourced…Chili Dogs?

Gen Z is consuming far less meat than previous generations. Sonic loves chili dogs, which is a tube of several kinds of meat with ground-up meat on top. Okay, that one doesn’t work. Um...

Blue Hair

I’ve been seeing lots of kids with blue hair lately? What’s up with that?

Let’s see, how can I sound older than I already do? Oh! Bidets? No thank you! What’s all this fuss lately about bidets and bidet seat add-ons? I’ll stick to good old-fashioned American-made two-ply, thank you very much! Now, in my day, we had the Virtual Boy, and he was my best friend and oh my, the times we’d have…

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Editor’s Note: Michael just kept typing out SNES titles until he got sleepy. We put a blanket over him to make sure he didn’t get cold.

What’s your take on Sonic these days? Corporate Shill or Moderately Funny In Sort of a Kitschy Way Corporate Shill? Let us know in the comments, or to really see how far the internet has fallen, check out what happens when you put the creepy old CG sonic’s teeth on other game characters.

from IGN Video Games https://www.ign.com/articles/2020/01/09/why-sonic-is-the-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z via IFTTT from The Fax Fox https://thefaxfox.blogspot.com/2020/01/why-sonic-is-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z.html

[enithinggoes]

Wanderer’s Refuge, chapter 2: caught red-handed

Agatha and Ursa knew they wouldn’t be able to stay flying for long, by morning they were already starting to feel hungry and thirsty, so Ursa pointed them to a nearby town she’d heard of so they could get supplies and maybe some maps of the country, they brought the train down as they approached and parked it hidden in a small clearing, then the girls went together into town, looking to find some means to get by just for the near future, as luck would have it, a very important opportunity was waiting just around the corner…

A young red haired man who preferred to go just by his first name was leaning against a wall, gathering his thoughts. He had the plan, he had the smarts, he had the stuff, he just needed the extra hands, someone desperate enough to take the risks and not ask about a big cut…

“We’re gonna need a way to make money.” Said Ursa, pushing Agatha’s wheelchair along the busy streets “and I don’t think people are gonna be super keen on hiring two teenagers that came out of nowhere.”

The man reacted instantly upon hearing them, “Perfect!”, and pushed himself off the wall, catching the coin he was flipping with a flourish and quickly turning to the girls and extending a gloved hand, he wore a dapper suit and a cheeky smile. “Good morning, young ladies! Haven’t seen you around here, are you two looking for a quick job?”

Agatha was a bit stunned by this sudden encounter, so it was all she could do to put her hand out, which the young man vigorously shook.

“Who are you and what the hell do you want with us?” said Ursa, clearly on edge.

“The name’s Lawrence, and there’s no need to be so rude. I want to take you two to lunch, my treat; I know this great place downtown. There, we can discuss a way you can both make 100 shillings in less than a week.”

The two girls glanced at each other, this man was twelve kinds of shady, but 200 total pounds was enough for not only basic supplies, but probably a few mattresses and an ice box, maybe even some coal(they hypothesized that maybe giving the train’s engine some steam might make Agatha less tired from flying).

“We’ll talk over lunch, but we do reserve the right to back out even if you pay for us!” Ursa answered, eyeing Lawrence suspiciously

“Of course, of course. Right this way, then!” The redhead did something close to a twirl turning back and leading them quickly down an alley.

At the restaurant, Lawrence had impeccable table manners, even better than Agatha’s, and definitely than Ursa’s, who was scarfing down an expensive cut of beef when he asked “So, I’ve told you ladies my name, it would be rude if you didn’t give me yours.”

“I’m Agatha Clarke, it’s a pleasure to meet you. And this is Ursa Martin,” said the white-haired girl, Ursa just mumbled in agreement while still chewing.

“Now, an illustrious coal baron, mr. Robert Evans, is coming to town with an entourage to visit the local mines, which have been drying up for a few decades. And I’d wager, with proper prestidigitation we can make a deal with him that shall be quite lucrative for us.” Lawrence explained with a devilish smile.

“So you’re a scammer.” Ursa said matter-of-factly.

“I prefer to think of myself as a merchant that really knows how to make a sale.” He said, entirely unperturbed.

“Alright, I’m down to scam a coal baron, what’s the game?”

“I’m glad you’ve asked, partner.”

Over the next few days, Lawrence brought the girls over to where he’d been staying, it was a small hotel room, surprising considering the apparent quality of his suit, Ursa had to carry Agatha’s chair up, since there were only stairs. There, he showed them a few large bags of oddly shaped rocks he’d collected plus some soot-based paint, “made it myself!” he commented with a wink.

They spent their time painting the rocks very thoroughly to look as much like coal as possible, while putting them out to dry, Agatha innocently asked “Sir Lawrence, I hope you don’t mind but why do you keep all your belongings in bags and pouches, is there something wrong with the room’s lockers?”

“Well, you see, I just like to keep my things close at hand.” The red-haired man seemed bashful, like that was only half an answer, still, Agatha didn’t want to pry. “You’re a very wholesome woman, aren’t you? I was actually a bit worried you’d be against my business model.”

“Well, you see, sir, I don’t think a baron of anything is going to be hurting for money anytime soon. And we don’t have many options in the present moment.” Agatha avoided mentioning she was already, by all accounts, a criminal.

 Lawrence put his knuckle to his chin and said “I see, I guess I misjudged you a little. Well, then we’d best get back to work, we have some rehearsing to do!” He felt like he understood her a bit more, but cut the conversation short, he didn’t like getting too attached to his “coworkers”

The three of them slept in Lawrence’s cramped room, Agatha and Ursa wanting to avoid the hassle of moving back to the train and the possibility of revealing their magical artifice, who knows how Lawrence could react?

The guests shared a sleeping bag of his cuddled together on the floor, while Lawrence rested on his bed, never taking off his gloves or turning his back to the door.

When a total of 5 days had passed, the final preparations were made in the morning and the three headed close to the city’s entrance, when they saw a man in a strikingly black suit accompanied by three burly lads, his eyes and nose turned slightly upwards as he strode, Ursa and Lawrence, both wearing dirty overalls, walked down onto the street, shouting at each other.

“Ya can’t sell those, those are all that’s left of Pa!” said Ursa, faking the accent people imagined miners to have.

“Well he worked himself ta death findin’ these so we could live a decent life!” retorted Lawrence, carrying a large, metal bucket full of painted pebbles.

“We could take over this whole town if ya just worked in that mine for a few more weeks!” she grabbed onto Lawrence’s shoulders, shaking him.

“We ain’t gonna be alive for more weeks if Ah don’t sell these!” He pushed her away, purposefully letting the rocks shake and make noise inside the bucket.

The baron’s bodyguards were about to push the two away from his path when, with an elegant, but firm hit of his cane onto the sidewalk, he commanded them to stop. Lawrence and Ursa turned to face him, feigning surprise.

“Now now, there’s no need for such vulgarism. Young man, would you kindly show me what you’re holding there?” He spoke to Lawrence slowly, like one speaks to a child.

As Ursa pretended to hold Lawrence back, he proudly showed the contents of the bucket, saying “This is what Pa used to call ‘charboné eterinow’, said he’d heard of it when he was young like me, burns as long as ya like, it does.”

“’Charbon eternél’, hmm, the eternal coal” Mr. Evans was clearly proud of his french, “could you show it to me in action?”

Lawrence put the bucket on the floor, smiling widely as he bragged “of course, mistah! Let me just get it burnin’ real quick” he took a little flask of moonshine from his pocket and let some drip onto the inside of the bucket, before setting it on fire with a simple tinderbox and quickly removing his hand before the flames flared to life.

“Easy there!” He quickly leaned back, his hands hovering at the sides of the bucket as they watched the flames cover the entirety of the bottom of the bucket, making the rocks hard to even look without feeling pain in one’s eyes.

Ursa was very nervous about this step, in theory, there should be nothing stopping the flame from fizzling out once all the alcohol was consumed, but Lawrence had assured her he “had a plan”. Lo and behold, the fire didn’t go out, instead it flared beautifully up, almost burning the coal baron’s clothes as it seemed to reach towards his eyes before stabilizing inside the bucket.

Whatever it was that Lawrence had done, it seemed that he was quite anxious too, as he stuck his tongue out the corner of his mouth in concentration and quickly started to sweat, thought that might have been from the heat, while his hands hovered near the bucket for more than two minutes before he quickly turned it upside down, fast enough for none of the rocks to go flying.

  “That should put it out in a few” said Lawrence, holding the bucket while the oxygen from the bucket depleted until he raised it up to reveal the still perfectly intact rocks underneath.

“See! Not one bit a wear n’ tear! Pretty special, right?” Lawrence turned looked up towards Robert Evans.

The coal baron hid his amazement by biting his lip and muttered “Special indeed.”

“Well, waddaya think? Pa told us these would be worth a fortune, how’s 600 sound?” Lawrence named a tall price, all part of negotiations.

“No, no, this is certainly impressive, but 600 is too much for a novelty, I’ll be generous with you and give you 300.”

“That’s a done deal!” The men shook hands, and after the money was exchanged, he paid Ursa and said he still had “some details to deal with really quick” so she and Agatha could go back to the room or wherever they wanted now.

Ursa met up with Agatha nearby, and excitedly told her about how the plan had worked, how they had enough money now to buy the things they would need to live for a while. Agatha asked about Lawrence, but Ursa said they shouldn’t expect him to hang around for long after the job, he was clearly a man with no interest in roots, ready to leave at any time.

“Guess that doesn’t make him very different from us.” Agatha commented with a sympathetic smile.

“huh… guess not.” Commented Ursa, made somewhat aware of her cynicism.

Meanwhile, Lawrence was making the “real” part of this plan come to fruition, he brought mr. Evans(at his request), to the “source” of the “charbon eternél”. A field of bare stone around a dark cave, were he’d half-buried, just conspicuously enough, dozens of painted rocks just like the ones in the bucket he carried, he counted on the baron’s arrogance to make him believe Lawrence wouldn’t see the potential something like a “mine of ever-burning coal” could have to completely destroy the current state of the economy.

“Here it is mister, this is where Pa found ‘em, spent 25 years looking for ‘em, he did.” Lawrence said, pointing around the area on the outskirts of town.

“I see,” said Robert Evans, “the site of such an interesting find should definitely be preserved, would you be willing to sell it to me for about 500 pounds?”

“Fahve hundred! Why that’s too kind, sir! I’d love to give it to you, I’ve been trying to get off this town and make it in the big city.” Lawrence rapidly shook Evans’ hand, keeping up the farce that he was the one being tricked with a lower value than this could really be worth, his plan had worked perfectly.

Lawrence went back to his room, with a score like this, 600 pounds all to himself, he really should take the chance to exit the scene as quick as he could, before anyone caught on and came to ask him for refunds.

He put his suit back on and gathered his things, his clothes, his sleeping bag, his toothbrush, his switchblade, any trace of the time he’d spent here, the only thing he left behind was a note with “good luck out there, don’t look for me.” For the people who had been his roommates for the last week, he pushed a pang of guilt at giving them such a small share of the score and just disappearing without a word away with the thought that this was just “the game”, and he’d just learned to play it well.

Lawrence thought a bit about where he could go now, probably somewhere with a big market and lots of gullible tourists. Yeah, that’d be good for a few more months, maybe even a year and a half.

After picking out a town south of where he was, he bought his ticket and waited inside the station, it would still a few hours until the train he’d booked came, but he didn’t want to risk any unfavorable encounters by walking around outside.

Unfortunately that didn’t stop two burly men, who he recognized as the coal baron’s bodyguards, from coming up to him and telling him to get up and come with them. Ok, a little snag, nowhere to just run away, no trains for a long time, but it’s fine, he can weasel his way out of this.

They brought him into an alleyway, where he met mr. Robert Evans again, he didn’t seem upset, but was definitely not friendly, as soon as Lawrence saw him, he started saying “I can explain,”.

“So,” interrupted the baron, “It appears to me you were not fully honest with your description of this ‘ever-burning coal’, were you?” He showed one of the painted rocks with a part broken off, showing the gray center.

“Alright, you got me, I was trying to pull one over on you, you’ve gotta know it’s a common thing around here, that’s the game, and you won! I’ll pay you back with 50% extra, promise.”

The coal baron took a step forward, smirking at Lawrence dropping the façade he’d adopted when speaking to him. “I see, but I think I have a better idea of how you could… reward me for this “win”. Would you mind telling me how you got that fire to keep burning that long?”

“It was the alcohol!” Lawrence sputtered out, “I-it is mixed with a slower burning substance that kept it bright longer!”

“Seize his hands, please.” The two bodyguards grabbed onto Lawrence’s arms, he was shoved to the ground, bruising his chin and getting his arms held behind his back, his left glove was pulled off, revealing crimson-red fingers.

“Ah, the devil’s hand, I suspected it when I noticed your gloves were the only thing you wore on both occasions where we met, so I think I know a way you can repay me even better:” Evans put his foot on top of Lawrence’s head, pressing it to the floor. “You see, I happen to know there’s a 500 pound reward for capturing your kind, dead or alive, so along with taking back the money you stole from me, I’ll be making quite a big profit.

Lawrence tried to look forward, find something he could do to escape, at the end of the alleyway, he could just barely see two girls in new clothes, one of them in a wheelchair, maybe it was Agatha and Ursa! They could help him, right? No, he left them before, and maybe they even knew he’d lowballed them, why would they risk their lives for someone like him?

“Anything to say for yourself, monster? Aren’t you gonna squirm some more? Or can you at least face death like a man”

He couldn’t find anything, after all, he’d tried everything before, nobody ever listened, ever saw him like a person after knowing what his hands meant, they called him a living timebomb, a danger to society, he’d grown used to it by now, he could try to burn them all to death, become fitting of his description, use this supposed power that had made him a target all his life…

Before he could finish weighing if he’d rather risk trying to escape while they dragged him to the local precinct or give up on trying to subvert their judgment of him by just leaning into the raging fire, the weight over his body suddenly disappeared as Ursa launched her whole body with a burst of steam it into Robert Evans, her elbow connecting with his back and the force throwing him into his bodyguards and knocking them off their feet.

“Can you run?” she crouched down and asked him while untying his wrists.

“Certainly better than the alternative.” Lawrence answered, already getting up onto his knees and putting his gloves back on.

They ran out of the alley and Lawrence followed Ursa as she wheeled Agatha out of town and towards the nearby woods, he didn’t know where they were going but if they had a route to get away from here it certainly beat staying.

When they came to a clearing, the young man had a hard time believing what he saw, a two wagon train in the middle of a forest.

“Get in!” Said Ursa, lifting Agatha’s chair onto the train as Lawrence followed them inside

“I don’t know if I can give it liftoff, last time we were already in the air when it manifested.” Agatha went to the train’s caboose and lifted herself to the conductor’s chair, focusing on visualizing the train in flight as she’d seen before. The train started moving as its tracks began to form, but it couldn’t quite accelerate quick enough to beat the upwards incline, the boiler made a roaring noise, like a starved tiger crying out in rage.

“Shit, I forgot to get any actual coal while we were out!” said Ursa, looking for something flammable she could part with, maybe they’d have enough time before someone came for Lawrence to go out and cut down some trees.

Lawrence clutched his own arms, hesitating a bit to do something he knew would be an unnecessary risk, but he owed at least some help to these people, right? “You’ve already collected the necessary water for the boiler right?”

“Yes, we’ve even already filled it, we just need a flame to light it,” replied Agatha, still concentrating on trying to move the train through her sheer will.

Lawrence pulled back his sleeves, he didn’t want to burn them with an effort this large, he extended his hands into the boiler and flames entirely engulfed the inside of it, barely licking at his forearms. The heat quickly started transforming the water in the boiler into steam, launching the train into motion forwards and upwards.

Agatha and Ursa stared at Lawrence’s hands, marveling at the beauty of the flames and their incredible power before Agatha had to focus on guiding her machine and Ursa had to hold on to avoid falling over from the sudden acceleration.

 After they’d picked up some good altitude and speed, Lawrence pulled his hands out of the boiler and turned to look out the window, seeing the world from above for the first time, right here, it felt like nobody could hurt him, no one could look down or him or hunt him down for a strange birthmark he never asked for, it was beautiful.

“So…” He turned to Agatha, “how long can I stay here, could you at least drop me off at the next town you come to?”

“Oh.” Agatha didn’t turn away from the blue sky she was plowing through, “You may leave if you’d like, sir, but you’re welcome to stay as well.”

Lawrence did a double-take, why would anybody take this risk? Put their own lives at stake sheltering a man who could never not be a target for the rest of his life? “Really”

Ursa came up to him, tapping him on the shoulder, “yeah man, we’re not throwing you back out there.” She pointed at the town, now tiny from the window of the train.

Lawrence smiled, putting his forearm in front of his eyes, maybe to shelter them from the sun, or to shelter himself from showing his watery eyes.

“Thank you.”

[repwincostl4m0a2]

The Bernie Sanders Campaign Faced A Fake News Tsunami. Where Did It Come From?

WASHINGTON ― Last June, John Mattes started noticing something coursing like a virus through the Facebook page he helped administer for Bernie Sanders fans in San Diego. People with no apparent ties to California were friending the page and sharing links from unfamiliar sites full of anti-Hillary Clinton propaganda.

The stories they posted weren’t the normal complaints he was used to seeing as the Vermont senator and the former secretary of state fought out the Democratic presidential primary. These stories alleged that Clinton had murdered her political opponents and used body doubles.

Mattes, 66, had been a television reporter and Senate investigator in previous lives. He put his expertise in unmasking fraudsters to work. At first, he suspected that the sites were created by the old Clinton haters from the ‘90s ― what Hillary Clinton had dubbed “the vast right-wing conspiracy.”

But when Mattes started tracking down the sites’ domain registrations, the trail led to Macedonia and Albania. In mid-September, he emailed a few of his private investigator friends with a list of the sites. “Very creepy and i do not think Koch brothers,” he wrote.

Mattes and his friends didn’t know what to make of his findings. He couldn’t get his mind around the possibility that trolls overseas might be trying to sway a bunch of Southern Californians who supported Sanders’ run for president. “I may be a dark cynic and I may have been an investigative reporter for a long time, but this was too dark ― and too unbelievable and most upsetting,” he said. “What was I to do with this?”

By late October, Mattes said he’d traced 40 percent of the domain registrations for the fake news sites he saw popping up on pro-Sanders pages back to Eastern Europe. Others appeared to be based in Panama and the U.S., or were untraceable. He wondered, “Am I the only person that sees all this crap floating through these Bernie pages?”

He wasn’t. Bernie supporters across the country had been noticing dubious websites and posters linked back to Eastern Europe long before Mattes did ― and even before The Washington Post reported in mid-June that Russian government hackers had stolen emails from the Democratic National Committee. They had been warning each other that something weird was going on, posting troll alerts and compiling lists of fake news sites.

There is enough real news to fight over, they thought, without arguing over anti-Hillary conspiracy theories from Macedonia.

Sometimes it was hard to tell who was doing the trolling and for what purposes. Aleta Pearce, 54, who lives in Malibu, California, was an administrator of half a dozen pro-Sanders Facebook groups and a member of many others. In May 2016, she posted a memo to various Facebook groups about the fake news issue, warning of bogus sites.

“The pattern I’m seeing is if a member is repeatedly posting articles that are only from one URL that person is just there to push advertising,” Pearce wrote. “They probably have a sock account with little to no content. They are often from Russia or Macedonia.” (A “sock” or “sock puppet” account uses a false identity to deceive.)

Pearce added, “Please share this with other Bernie groups so we can put an end to this spam bombing that’s filling up our pages and groups. It’s time to chase the mice out of the hen house and send them a message. They don’t know who they are messing with.”

The first tidal wave of spam was mostly anti-Bernie, Pearce recalled, posted by Clinton backers. (David Brock’s Clinton-backing super PAC had likely paid for some portion of those.) But after Clinton became the Democratic nominee in July, Pearce noticed a switch to anti-Hillary messages with links to fake news and to real news with obnoxious pop-up ads.

“Every site publishing those ― you clicked on the article, you would be slammed with ads and strange articles,” Pearce told HuffPost. “It was overwhelming. It was 24/7.”

She kept a list of fake news sites to watch for ― it grew into dozens. There were posts on the Clinton-has-Parkinson’s conspiracy and the Clinton-is-running-a-pedophilia-ring-out-of-a-pizza-shop conspiracy.

On the Sanders campaign, it was Hector Sigala’s job to connect with all the organic Facebook groups. He recalled seeing “a lot of trolls” try to convince people of something “that was obviously fake.”

Many of the interlopers, Sigala said, claimed to be Sanders fans who had decided to vote for GOP nominee Donald Trump or Green Party candidate Jill Stein in the general election and tried to convince others to do likewise. “It made it seem like the community as a whole was supporting that, but that wasn’t the case,” he said.

Sigala thinks most of them were just your average internet trolls. He said he found many were members of 4chan, a gathering place for the alt-right, white nationalists and plain old nihilists from which has sprung all manner of mischief.

The Sanders campaign had begun seeing this particular brand of fake news starting in early 2016. “The first time that we kind of fell for it, for like two minutes, was this link from what seemed to be ABC News,” Sigala said. It turned out to be ABC.com.co, a fake site that has no affiliation with the real news network. It had “reported” that the pope himself had endorsed Sanders.

It came in like a wave, like a tsunami. It was like a flood of misinformation. Bev Cowling, who administered Facebook groups for Sanders supporters

In trying to wade through the flood of fake news, Sanders supporters had some serious trust issues. There was good reason to be skeptical of Clinton and the WikiLeaks dump of DNC emails was real, after all. But a steady diet of stories fabricated out of thin air can also feed into paranoia and flame wars.

Bev Cowling, 64, saw a sudden deluge of requests to join the Sanders Facebook groups she administered from her home in Toney, Alabama. All of a sudden, they were getting 80 to 100 requests to join each day. She and the other administrators couldn’t vet everyone, and the posts started getting bizarre. “It came in like a wave, like a tsunami,” she said. “It was like a flood of misinformation.”

Cowling, a retired postal worker, said some of her Facebook group members were ready to believe the bogus news links. “People were so anti-Hillary that no matter what you said, they were willing to share it and spread it,” she said. “At first I would just laugh about it. I would say, ‘C’mon, this is beyond ridiculous.’ I created a word called ‘ridiculosity.’ I would say, ‘This reeks of ridiculosity.’”

But Cowling got pushback. She was called a “Hillbot” and a Trump supporter. She ended up removing dozens of members who refused to stop pushing conspiracy theories. “I lost quite a few friends,” she said.

Matthew Smollon, a 34-year-old copy editor and page designer based in Knoxville, Tennessee, noticed an influx of posts linking to fake news as early as January 2016. So much of it, Smollon noticed, came from the same accounts. Almost all the sites he traced went back to Veles, Macedonia, which Wired magazine has since dubbed the “Fake News Factory to the World.” There wasn’t a single link he found that went to a pro-Clinton fake news story.

None of the fake stories stood out to Smollon. He described the Facebook groups as “being in a room filled with blasting televisions.” It was hard to pick out the loudest noises. “The ultimate goal of this wasn’t so much misinformation as distraction from valid info,” he concluded.

But Smollon had a hard time convincing other Bernie supporters that they were being played. “No one cared,” Smollon said. “At that point, you were a Hillary shill. It was like an echo chamber of anger.”

Even when pointing out that something like NBCPolitics.org was a fake site ― the real site is NBCNews.com/politics ― he drew criticism. He was eventually removed as a moderator from one of the pro-Sanders Facebook groups. “It’s the closest I’ve been to being gaslit in my life,” he said.

In June, Smollon posted a piece on Medium with the headline, “Dear Bernie Supporters: Stop sharing posts from dumpster fire websites.” He urged his fellow Sanders fans to wake up:

Guys, I sincerely love you. I love your passion. I love your fire. I love all of that. But when 400 people are circle-jerking clickbait links in between wondering how Hillary Clinton is behind the FEMA Earthquake drill that happens on several days with one of them being primary day?

Holy shit.

You are allowing yourselves to be manipulated. Through the practice of taking anything that agrees with your opinion at face value, actively refusing to believe anything but what agrees with your narrative and following that up with blatant disregard for doing two minutes of searching to verify the information: you become the myopic Trump supporter that you so vocally loathe.

Some people “liked” his Medium piece on Facebook and posted it on their walls, he said. Others did not. Smollon later updated his article to say he’d been banned from the group “Bernie Believers” because of it.

“This is a pretty solid case for admins/mods being part of the spam,” he wrote. “Not all of them obviously, but it only takes one person running with an ulterior motive to ensure the whole thing goes to shit.”

In San Diego, Mattes was intrigued by a Facebook user named “Oliver Mitov” whom he saw constantly posting anti-Clinton propaganda.

Mattes first noticed Mitov posting in his Facebook group in September. But when he searched the page’s archives, he found that Mitov had been in the group since late July. He soon realized there wasn’t just one Mitov but four. Three had Sanders as their profile picture. Two had the same single Facebook friend, while a third had no Facebook friends. The fourth appeared to be a middle-aged man with 19 Facebook friends, including that one friend the other Mitovs had in common.

All combined, the four Mitovs had joined more than two dozen pro-Sanders groups around the U.S., including Latinos for Bernie Sanders, Oregon for Bernie Sanders 2016 and Pennsylvania Progressives for Bernie Sanders. Together, those groups had hundreds of thousands of members.

The Mitov posts would have been explosive if they’d been true. In one Aug. 4 post to Mattes’ page, Mitov wrote, “This is a story you won’t see on Fox/CNN or the other Mainstream media!” He then linked to a post claiming falsely that Clinton had “made a small fortune by arming ISIS.” On Sept. 25, he posted on several pro-Sanders pages a link promising game-changing information: “NEW LEAK: Here is Who Ordered Hillary To Leave The 4 Men In Benghazi!” The link went to a fake news site called usapoliticsnow.com.

The aim of Mitov’s activity seemed pretty obvious to Mattes: to depress the number of Sanders supporters who voted for Clinton in November.

“He was a ringer,” Mattes said.

Mattes tried to friend the various Mitovs and message them. None of them responded, he said. Attempts by HuffPost to reach Mitov were similarly unsuccessful.

Keegan Goudiss had a different perspective on the trolling. As head of the digital side of Sanders’ presidential bid, Goudiss launched paid campaigns on social media and around the internet, so he was very familiar with the way that money can drive a meme.

Bots and trolls that spread fake news shouldn’t be ignored, he said, but “it’s like pissing in the ocean. There’s a lot of noise online.” One way to help your message cut through the noise is to spend money with Facebook, Google or an ad targeting platform that spreads links all over the internet, often at the bottom of stories. (Scroll down far enough on this page and you’ll probably see some of them.)

Goudiss recalled one telling example of how this worked: A Clinton ad appeared in the middle of a row of links, clearly paid for by a pro-Clinton group targeting potential donors and voters. To its left was a story making bogus claims about an illegitimate Clinton child. To its right was a piece on presidential mistresses. “There seems to have been a concerted effort to tarnish Hillary and people in her campaign’s reputation using paid placement,” he said.

He can’t prove who was doing that, Goudiss said, but it’s probably worth trying to figure out.

“Was there a Russian entity supporting those websites that popped up?” he said. “That’s important and people deserve to know who influences our democracy.”

Some level of foreign participation in spreading disinformation about the left was comically apparent. The names of a few suspect Facebook groups reek of poor translation. One group with more than 80,000 members, claiming to be from Burlington, Vermont, is called “Bernie Sanders Lovers” ― the kind of name a non-English speaker might think makes sense, but that sounds wrong to native ears.

Throughout the campaign, the Bernie Sanders Lovers page saw heavy engagement, and nearly every article it shared was from Bients.com, the pieces posted there by one Maximilian Gottlieb. Gottlieb, in turn, pulled articles from other sources, some more and some less reliable.

On Oct. 29, for instance, he put up 11 articles. A few praised Trump or gave Trump’s advisers space to attack Clinton. Others attacked Clinton’s campaign directly: adviser Huma Abedin had ties to radical Islam (false), the DNC email leak was authentic (true), campaign manager Robby Mook had deleted his entire Twitter feed (false).

Since the election, the Bernie Sanders Lovers page has shifted to urging the senator to run for president again in 2020. It no longer shares Bients.com stories. Instead, they all come from ThePredicted.com. Both sites were registered by a person name Hysen Alimi in Albania. (Feel free to check out the sites yourself, but Chrome will warn you your connection is “not secure,” so don’t enter any information there.)

There had been rumblings that the Russians were specifically behind the DNC hack since last June. In early October, the U.S. intelligence community said it was “confident” that President Vladimir Putin’s government had both directed the hack and made sure the emails found their way to WikiLeaks. In January of this year, a more detailed intelligence report concluded that the Russian government had blended covert intelligence operations with overt efforts by, among others, “paid social media users or ‘trolls’” to try to influence the U.S. election.

A separate dossier on Russia’s role, assembled by former MI6 agent Christopher Steele and made public by BuzzFeed, claimed that the DNC leak had been an attempt to “swing supporters of Bernie Sanders away from Hillary Clinton and across to Trump.”

“These voters were perceived as activists and anti-status quo and anti-establishment and in that regard sharing many features with the Trump campaign, including a visceral dislike of Clinton,” Steele wrote.

The intelligence report also said that the DNC hackers seemed to have financial ties to the Internet Research Agency, a Saint Petersburg, Russia, company that has taken state-sponsored trolling to an industrial level. Its likely financier is “a close Putin ally with ties to Russian intelligence,” the report stated.

“Russia’s information war might be thought of as the biggest trolling operation in history,” wrote The New York Times in a 2015 profile of the firm, “and its target is nothing less than the utility of the Internet as a democratic space.”

The “Internet as a democratic space” is the very thing that allowed the energy of the Sanders campaign to snowball into a movement for change. It was also the thing that allowed Oliver Mitov and his ilk to thrive.

Could the fake news tsunami have swung the election? It’s impossible to say for sure, but a YouGov survey recently asked people who voted for Sanders in the primary how they thought other people they knew who backed Sanders ended up voting in the general election. Thirteen percent said all of those folks voted for Clinton, and 48 percent said most of them did. But 20 percent said only some, 9 percent said just a few and 4 percent said none voted for Clinton.

In the survey, only 7 percent said that most or all of the Bernie people they knew wound up helping raise money or otherwise volunteering for Clinton. Fifty-four percent said that applied to just a few or none of the Bernie people they knew. Sanders backers were by far the most energized element of the Democratic coalition during last year’s campaign. Clinton’s inability to motivate them more broadly to back her candidacy undoubtedly hurt.

Asked what they themselves did, 12 percent of those who voted for Sanders said they went on to volunteer or raise money for Clinton. Only 16 percent of those who voted for Clinton in the primary said they also volunteered for her.

Of course, the propaganda didn’t create the chasm dividing left-wing voters. The belief that the DNC favored Clinton was widely held. Fifty-eight percent of all the survey respondents agreed on that. Among Democrats, the number was 55 percent. In the Midwest, which essentially elected Trump president, 67 percent agreed. Even 62 percent of those who voted for Clinton in the primary said that the DNC favored her.

But the legitimate skepticism opened the door to believing the more demented propaganda. And the more the fake news was passed around, the harder the divisions became. Clinton backers would charge Sanders supporters with being obnoxious, sexist “Bernie bros.” Many of those bros may have been trolls, not real Sanders supporters. Tell that to a Clinton backer, however, and you can be accused of dismissing the hostility they faced.

Aidan King set up a popular Reddit page for Sanders beginning in 2013 and went to work for the campaign in January 2016 as Sigala’s deputy. He dealt directly with many of the Facebook groups. After the Democratic convention, he said he noticed a strong shift away from the party in the tone of many of those pages.

“I’ve gone back and forth on it,” King said. “I wouldn’t feel comfortable saying with any authority it’s a coordinated effort by trolls, but also wouldn’t feel confident saying it was exclusively pissed-off Bernie supporters.” 

It might not actually matter if Vladimir Putin or a kid in Macedonia masterminded the flood of fake news. What matters is that it happened ― and it is still happening. People are deliberately seeding misinformation into the left-wing conversation. That’s a real fact. (Trying to measure the size and scope of the operation could make for a useful political science dissertation.)

For a wide swath of Sanders backers, the primary is still far too raw to even start to think about Russia. Mentioning foreign sabotage sounds like you’re throwing up a smokescreen to obscure the Democratic establishment’s own failure. But Mattes has tried to argue that two things can be true at once: Clinton was a terrible candidate and Russia intervened in the U.S. election.

“It’s wildly distressing that we were played,” Mattes said. 

After reading this story, we’re curious what your view is on Russia’s role in the election. Take this brief survey, and we’ll post the results here on Sunday night.

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