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yanderestarangel · 1 year ago

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HEADKANONS BI HAN | SUB ZERO MK1 WITH S/O

A/N: I'm going to write headcanons about all the men in MK, I'm going to write one shots, fanfic, I'm going crazy and more horny for each one of them... I'm gay as f*ck. Do you want to make a request? Read my blog rules in the pinned post.

TW: sfw, headcanons in general, afab reader, smut.

He is an aggressive lover. I mean, he's not going to hit you or anything, but he's extremely cold (I laughed after remembering that he's fucking sub zero lol), he's the type to talk the basics, even to you, so don't do it "silly" questions for him, if he's okay or if he ate, he'll answer: "-I'm here in front of you so obviously I'm fine." "-Don't worry, I know how to take care of myself, I'm not a child."

He likes to show his love for you through actions, like buying you something you've been wanting for a while, like giving you a bouquet of flowers, small but meaningful, Bi-Han doesn't know how to express love for anyone, I'm sorry, But it's the truth, but he tries for you, even if it's not the best.

Bi-Han cares about you even if he doesn't express it, he knows that he is a frustrated and wrong man in several actions, even if he wants to lie to himself that he doesn't, you both know that, but if you haven't given up on him, and You're still on his side, it means you love him, and he values that.

Bi Han won't let you work outside of his sight, that is, he will want you at home, you can beg or try to argue, he will say: "-Your job is to be my husband/wife, take care of our house, me and yourself, I can't allow you to go around." -He spoke calmly, but seriously, and that was really his thought, he just wants you to be close to him, he is afraid, terrified, of losing you one day. -

Bi Han is insecure, even if he never admits it, he gets jealous very quickly, he knows that you are a beautiful person, so he knows that many ninjas lust after you, even though you are married to him, so please don't flirt with other men or women, this man is capable of crazy things and the silent treatment he will give you after that will be for an indefinite period of time.

You are always on his mind in every mission, Kuai Liang and Tomas sometimes notice their grandmaster looking into space and perhaps, a transparent smile appears quickly, while Bi-Han looks at the landscape on the horizon, thinking about you. "-I hope (Y/N) is okay" -He said to himself, shaking his head soon after and returning to the mission.

When he notices that you are sad he becomes worried, but he just crosses his arms under his chest, and looks at you waiting for an explanation for such behavior, if you are upset about something that someone from the Lin Kuei clan did to you, consider that person dead, your grand master husband will immediately leave the house forming a deadly ice dagger in his hand, returning some time later, with a determined and blood-stained look. "-Okay, wipe your tears, the problem has already been solved, let's have dinner." -He spoke seriously and calmly, as he wiped the blood from his hands on a cloth, heading to the kitchen with heavy steps and giving you a look, so you could follow him.

Bi-Han lies down on the bed next to you, but he can't sleep for several nights, he finds himself watching you, your face so peaceful next to him, the ninja monster of the lin kuei, you look so good and comfortable next to him, he really wonders why you married him, you deserve someone better.

He covers you more with the sheet, caressing your cheek lightly with his thumb, while whispering on rare occasions, that he loved you.

"-I really love you, you know that? I'm sorry I'm not the best man for you (Y/N), I really want you forever by my side, and I'll protect you from this world, whatever the cost, what do I do and for me and for you." -Bi Han told you while you slept, he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead, while looking at the moon soon after, it would be another night that he would be haunted by his own demons.

Bi-Han's favorite couple's activity with you is strolling to a lake on the Lin Kuei clan's estate, sitting with you on the cool grass as the two of you watch nature, the swans on the lake, the cloudy sky announcing an upcoming rain. would soon come, the trees swaying to the rhythm of the wind, as Bi Han talked about his mother, he really loved her, and he is happy to see that you were really interested in listening, as he talked about childhood memories, making little sculptures of ice with his fingertips to represent the story he told, it's these moments with you that make everything he did, even the cruelest things, worth it.

He may not be loyal to the clan, but he is to you. He's the type that if someone comes at him, he has to be held back so he doesn't punch them for such audacity. Ex:

"-Bi Han, are you going to come with us-"

"-I'm a married man"

"-Bi Han, we just asked-"

"-I'm a married man, I told you." -He says pointing to the wedding ring and leaving. They were just going to ask him to drink a little, but as Bi Han said, he is a married man to you.

He doesn't like nicknames, only during sex, other than that he will call you by your name, or "my husband/my wife", he likes the idea of being called "husband" by you too, so if you If you refer to him like that, in public, he will melt inside, and smile slightly sideways behind the mask.

He is a wild man in bed, taking out his frustrations and anger on your beautiful pussy, mouth and body in general.

Bi Han loves blowjobs, if he could, you would be kneeling between his legs 24 hours a day, with your pretty face taking his entire cock in your mouth - I feel sorry for you dear, this man's cock is big and thick, he's literally going to hit it down your throat easily, leaving you breathless while your husband enjoys watching you choke on his dick like that -

He likes to degrade you in sex, it's a way for him to mark you as his and release his frustrations too, he will fuck you roughly, especially fucking you with his dick stuck in your pussy, with him lifting you easily while his hips they aggressively pound against your tight hole.

"-You're a great slut, you know? Taking my cock like a desperate bitch."

"-Oh fuck, you feel so good, don't you? Your pussy was made for me, the grand master lin kuei, and only mine, only I deserve you, do you hear? I'm just going to fuck that beautiful pussy until you can only think about how You want my dick inside you."

"-Do I really have a little whore as my husband/wife? How lucky for me then."

"-I'm going to fill you up... I'm going to fill that tight pussy of yours, and you want that, don't you? You want every drop of my cum, you're a hungry slut."

He loves to call you: "slut", "dirty bitch", "private whore", "nymph", "good boy/girl with a tight pussy". Most of the sex sessions you have with Bi Han end with him cumming on your face, pussy or belly, painting everything with his cum and leaving you panting with your legs shaking - for him, sex really is only good when you are weak from cumming on his dick, and overstimulated, with a swollen clitoris - He loves many sexual positions, but he prefers:

Cowgirl’s Helper: He likes to see you on top of him, your hands on his chest, while one of his hands squeezes your ass, and the other is behind his head. Bi Han watches you get impaled on his dick, stretching your pussy slowly, as your pussy drools on his pulsing dick, he looks at you, smiling smugly when he sees the rise of his dick in your womb. He would just groan in response to your desperate moans, watching your body move as you whimpered to cum - he wasn't going to let you cum yet, and if you did, he was going to punish the hell out of you, giving you at least five painful orgasms and pleasant that night -

Stand and Deliver: He loves seeing you bent over, your waist is sore from being bent over for him, but he loves seeing your ass and waist on top, thrusting into your pussy while pulling your hands behind your back, he would go so hard on your hole that your feet would leave the ground, you could feel the burn of the speed of Bi Han's dick in your pussy, but he wouldn't stop, he wouldn't stop until he left you a trembling mess full of cum - while calling you a desperate slut his cock -

©YANDERESTARANGEL 2023

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blond3ang3l · 8 months ago

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Cw// homophobia, internalized homophobia

Reiner hurt to comfort?/fluff for male readers<3

Your heart broke whenever Cowboy! Reiner cried. He was your world, your everything, the reason why you could stay home and do as you please because he got up everyday to work with his friends on their farm to make money. And now he’s sitting here breaking down in front them.

You were immediately worried and quickly called him over. He left Annie and Bert’s side to run over to the side of the fence you were on. You immediately wrapped your arms around him and without thinking twice he broke down in your arms. “Shh shh doll. Hey what’s goin on?” And the culprit for this was none other than his wretched family. You never got along with them. They treated Reiner like an outsider ever since his teen years when he was outed as gay by his ex friend. They were basically your opps and as long as you lived you were gonna be the bane of their existence.

You gently guided Reiner over to you guys shared home. Bringing him to the living room and letting him rest his head on your lap “Rei baby what happened?” He could barely speak as he sobbed in your lap. Reiner by no means was an emotional man. He knew how to take things well. But when he was upset that shit was major. This was one of those times. You knew he needed some time so you didn’t rush him to speak. Running your hand through his dirty blonde hair, using you thumb to caress right where his undercut started. “S’ okay Rei, take your time okay? M’ here. We got all night.”

He felt weak in the moment. He didn’t want you to sit here worrying about him. You were both grown as men he should be able to take care of himself. When his cries started to slow down he looked up at you. “They called again… I don’t know why I answered I just- I thought that they’d finally come around. But they really do hate me. Hate who I am.”

“What’d the say this time baby?”

“They disowned me…”

Your eyes widened in shock. Not because of what they did but because they did now of all times. You two were days away from getting married and now they chose to just act like he wasn’t their family anymore.

“Are you shittin me?”

“I just don’t understand how. Maybe they were right. Maybe it is something wrong with me. With this.”

“What? Rei what are you-?” Just by the look in his eyes you could tell what he meant. It was the same look he had when you to were kids and he used to say he wished you were a girl so he could like you. He was starting to doubt himself. This was the main reason you hated his family. They had such a shitty affect on him. They made him fear what he was. As if he was some type of monster. “Hey, look at me okay?” Reiner couldn’t bring himself to do it at first. He felt physically disgusted with himself in the moment. It wasn’t until he felt your warm hand pressed against his dirt covered cheek and tilted his head to let his gaze meet yours.

You were always so soft with him. He loved that so fucking much about you. You never hated him or yelled at him when he would start to revert to his self hatred ways. In his eyes he truly didn’t deserve you. You deserved a real man. One who wasn’t as fucked as him. “I just thought…maybe if I straight they would love me. I could be their son and not their disappointment. Why couldn’t they just be there for me? Am I really that bad to be around because of who I am?”

You could feel the tears well up in your eyes. Who could make their own child feel this way? “Reiner I want you to listen to me okay? I love you more than fucking anything in the world. You are the best fiancé any man could ever ask for ya hear me? And you were an even better son to them than they deserved. Never in any way do you deserve the treatment they give you.”

“But mayb-”

“No, no maybe Reiner. We are going to be husbands. You make me happy. When you were with your family you would come to my place in shambles because of how badly they treated you. But now look at you. You’re in a better place than any of them and they can see that and they just wanna hurt you in any way they can now.”

Reiner hated that you were right. You always were when it came to his family. He was so blinded by wanting to make his family proud of him that he was willing to tear himself down. But you never allowed him and god was he thankful for that.

“I don’t know how you put up with me doll.”

You chuckled as he sat up and pressed his lips against yours. “I love you rei okay?” “Mm, love you too baby.”

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gramaphonejammin · 3 months ago

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This drabble exists only because I was compelled by the sheer enjoyment this scenario brought me. I joked on @swifty-fox 's beautiful beautiful Brady art that he is my sweet Catholic boy and if he lived in the modern day would love being involved in the gay community building part of his local church. Hence this short modern AU! Drabble was born. Brady's characterization is largely inspired by "understanding in a plane crash" but he has slightly less issues bc he got access to the socialist Catholics at like age 18. So obv this is dedicated to Swifty-Fox for the brain worms!

(Brief Catholic explanation: the Catholic church is really big globally, in cities each church community is divided up into "parishes" where one or more priests manages that local community. Pastoral councils are volunteer/community groups that advise the parish on certain social issues and run events etc. In the modern day there are growing numbers of LGBTQIA+ groups that seek to create belonging and advocate for change in the church. I'm a part of one and think John would be too. Cue comedy.)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

A once-white plastic fan that’s been pulled to the end of its cord up to the plastic folding table is the only thing fighting against the oppressive late evening heat. This meeting should have ended an hour ago and John Brady knows it’s at least partially his fault.

John sighs, wiping his forehead with a handkerchief, “we are not changing the entrance hymn and I’m not budging on that.”

Thanks to this very pastoral council, their parish has been hosting a bi-monthly LGBTQIA+ affirming Saturday evening mass for years. Working with this fine group of people has been so good for John (or at least that’s what his husband tells him) but sometimes some of them can get on his nerves.

John is not even sure how they got to this topic. The entrance hymn has worked just fine for the past eight years, does it really have to change now? If anything, they should be talking about getting some A/C installed in this church. But this is the discussion they’re having, and John intends on finishing it.

Eugene, a retired older gentleman sitting across from John, is his main opponent. “I just don’t understand why not, it could be good to have a change. Spice things up!”

“It. Sets. The. Tone,” John says. Really, he’s the one who leads the church choir every mass you’d think they’d trust his musical opinions.

John looks around the table for back-up and realizes he’s almost out of luck. With summer vacations in full swing, there’s only five of them at tonight’s post-mass meeting and everyone (other than Eugene and John, of course) seem too tired to put effort into wrapping this argument up.

River, the youngest member of the group, is very clearly on their phone. David, Eugenes husband, is hopeless. (John doesn’t have anything against David, in fact he bakes wonderful shortbread, but he is Eugene’s husband and therefore a coward.)

John turns to his last hope sitting beside him and stares at her imploringly until she speaks without looking up from the rosary she’s thumbing, “we should listen to little John, he is usually right.” A Filipino grandmother to a transgender son, Mary Evangeline is the one voice of reason that John can always count on.

“Well, that’s two voices against one and—” before Eugene can interrupt him, John’s phone begins to buzz in his pocket. It’s his husband, “hold that thought, Eugene, I have to take this.” John rushes into the hallway and answers.

DeMarco’s smooth voice comes across clear and bright through the speaker. “There a battle going on down there?”

John laughs and silently sends a thank you to The Lord for gifting him this wonderful man. Benny knows him better than he knows himself. “And what makes you say that?”

“Could there be another reason why you’re late?”

“You know I don’t mean to fight I just—”

“Don’t like being wrong. I know.” John can hear the smug smile in his tone.

“I’m not wrong, that’s the thing.”

“You never are, dear. But it is getting late and I was expecting to spend my Saturday evening on the couch with you.”

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Father George shuffling down the hallways towards him.

“Sorry, love, I have to go. I’ll be home soon, I love you.”

“I love you, too. Play nice now!”

John hangs up just as Father George sidles up to his side, out of breath from the walk, “hello dear Bernard, are you all still here? It’s nearly 9!”

Pleasantly plump with tiny wisps of white hair and small rectangle metal glasses, Father George is the oldest priest in their parish and no matter how many times he earnestly gets his parishioners names mixed up no one has the heart to correct him. John, like everyone else in the parish, knows that that Father George has a weakness for treats and likely came by the meeting hall looking for any leftovers he could nibble on before going to bed.

“Yes, Father. But we are just wrapping up and will head home soon. There’s still some carrot cake that David baked left that you’re very welcome to, Father.”

“Now that, my child, is an offer I cannot refuse.”

Father George walks into the meeting hall alongside John to a chorus of hello Father. The Father walks over to the slices of carrot cake with intent and John watches aghast as Eugene turns to speak to Father George. That sneaky rat.

“Father George, you know that we’ve had ‘All Are Welcome’ as our entrance hymn for song long now and I was thinking that it would be great if—”

“Oh! I just love that hymn. What a joy it is to hear it!” Using the plastic fork he’s just grabbed as a mock-baton he starts singing in his nice but age-roughened voice, “let us build a house where love can dwell and all can safely live…all are welcome, all are welcome, all are welcome in this place!” Father George chuckles at the soft clapping he gets from River for his impromptu performance. “Now what were you saying about our entrance hymn, my son?”

Eugene looks defeated, “nothing Father,” he says. John smiles. Victory.

Time to get home to Benny.

#mota #john brady #benny demarco #masters of the air #brady x demarco #fanfic #the people here may or may not be loosely inspired by people i know in my parish #I'm really lucky I have zero religious trauma and grew up in an affirming Catholic household because it means I get to be gay and queen out #with retired 80 year old gay men at my local church

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reallyromealone · 2 years ago

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Hehehe 😈

I’ve come with an illumi request ✨

So it’s Illumi and readers honeymoon yes?

Instead of going out and doing stuff normal couples do (since it’ll always involve someone gettin dismembered my illumi cause they’ll stare at reader too long- jealous much?)

And so usually illumi and reader would like stay home and do whatever till illumi starts kissin on readers neck and gettin all touchy with reader which basically leads them to doing it

But during the deed Illumi decides to like praise reader which turns reader on more so illumi is surprised and continues praising him

The person already sent an ask wanting to remain anon so dw

ILLUMI X MALE READER NSFW

Warnings

Nsfw, gay, make reader, smut, Illumi bottoms, Dom Illumi, praise kink, rough sex

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

(name) was giddy as his husband told him their honeymoon plans, apparently owning a private country home by a lake, the assassin doing the absolute most to not be around people.

(Name) was thankful he thought to do that... He didn't need another incident.

But he did decide to marry an insanely possessive man knowing what he's like and does.

"It's beautiful..!" (Name) was in awe as Illumi led him inside, hand on the small of his back "the whole house... Free of any prying eyes..." Illumi said into his husband's ear and (name) bit his lip in excitement at the concept of having his husband all to himself.

Though jealousy sex was always fun, sitting in Illumis lap infront of a roaring fire as they kissed slow and soft was far better.

Illumi took control, tongue exploring it's established territory as (name) gently cupped his cheeks and neck, gasping as Illumi moved to bite and suck at his neck "you're such a good boy..." He said gently groping at his lovers neck, not missing how (name) bucked his hips slightly at the praise, crotches rubbing against one another and Illumi gripped his hips "oh? Do you like the praise my good boy?" Illumis voice went lower and (name) was pushed down onto the couch with a moan escaping (name)s lips.

Thankfully the two were shirtless as Illumi kissed and bit along the others flesh while mumbling praises, hand moving to grip the others covered cock, covered by loose sweatpants before slipping in and pulling it out to play with.

Illumi let his wrist go limp as he stroked up and down the others cock, sucking on the poor man's chest as his hair fell to the side, (name)s head lulled as he let out moans "luumi..." He breathed out, feeling his husband's warm tongue lick down and circle his navel before moving down "such a cute cock..." Illumi mumbled as they locked eyes, the black haired man immediately taking it in and deepthroating the hard appendage to poor (name)s torment.

Illumi was a monster with his mouth as he sucked the soul out of (name), holding his hips down as he ate his meal with vigor and enjoying the cried and almost screams as his husband got closer to his orgasm.

(Name) let out a cry as he came into Illumis mouth, body shaking "you did so well... Are you ready for more?"

(Name) nodded and Illumi mentally smirked, did he plan to fuck him today? Yes.

That's why he prepped before he lit the fire.

Illumi sat in the others lap, (name) didn't realize the other took off his pants as he gripped Illumis strong pale thighs and looked at him almost painful "now be my good obedient husband and let me ride your cock, yes?"

(Name) nodded and watched Illumi guide his cock to his ass, rubbing his cheeks around the appendage as his hair fell infront of his face as he sunk down, eyebrows furrowing as he fully seated on (name)s cock "don't move, you can do that for me can't you sweetheart?" Illumi asked his husband who nodded frantically as he watched the assassin lift himself and fall back down, slowly riding his cock as nails scraped against the others chest "such a good cock..."

(Name) whined as he tried to not move, the black haired man moving faster as he slowly went insane on (name)s cock, tongue falling out and (name) could barely handle it as he flipped them and fucked Illumi senseless "(n-name)!" Illumi said as he pulled him close, knowing the poor man couldn't last that long as they both reached their orgasms.

"Fuck..."

"Wanna go again on the table?" (Name) asked softly and Illumi groped his ass "grab the lube my sweet husband"

#male reader #hxh x male reader #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter x male reader #hunter x hunter x reader #illumi x male reader #illumi x reader #smut

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spicybylerpolls · 6 months ago

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Interesting points from anon who argued for bottom mike there. Thanks for being so generous with your explanation for your preference!

I found this interesting: i guess my main reasoning for him being a bratty bottom is just how he acts sometimes through the show, his clear distaste for being told what to do and his snappy comebacks.

To me, this indicates that mike very much would not want to be told what to do in the bedroom, and would thus take control. Distaste… so why would he like being told what to do in the bedroom?

I mean, maybe, as a kink, as a relief, in the way people who engage in d/s culture enjoy the separation from their reality. But that’s also a highly self aware and advanced sexual expression that requires knowledge and courage. Your average virgin does not immediately engage in bdsm culture or even understand its psychology. Most people barely know what they like in the bedroom, let alone the complex dynamics of bdsm and d/s.

Which leads me to the realisation of how interesting it is to see such common dom/sub conversations around byler sex in this fandom. it speaks to the fact that fandom is very fantasy- and imagination-based rather than just working with what is canon. It's so intriguing, because I personally came to fandom hoping to discuss the show, almost analytically like we were in media class, and found lots of fantasy play and headcanons and stuff, which I hadn't known were a thing. At first it didnt make sense to me... why would you want to celebrate characters/a show but make it completely into something that no longer resembles that show or those characters??

I understand fandom better now, but even so re: sex, I would say that irl, at least 50% of people dont engage in dom/sub dynamics in their sex life at all, or even anything that would be considered kinky or fetish. In fact, one you've removed the percentage of people who don’t have sex at all, a large portion of sexually active people (especially women) don’t engage in even the simplest kind of vanilla sex where they ask for the bare minimum of what they would enjoy, what they want, know what they want - many dont even enjoy sex or know how to orgasm. This doesnt mean their sex is abusive or toxic or they have a history of trauma, but just that they dont feel comfortable or that it’s their place to ask for pleasure. They just do what they think they should do, 'normal sex' (a common historic phrase here was 'lie back and think of england' lmao... basically what royal queens were told to think as their husbands butchered them in the least enjoyable way possible).

(I also always found the scene with Steve’s mean friends in s1, after he and Nancy have sex, uncomfortable because they were clearly taking the mick out of Nancy when imitating her screams, and it highlighted how performative that sexual experience may well have been for Nancy. I mean, if Steve made her cum during her first time? Damn, he’s good. But chances are he didn’t, and nancy’s storyline was partially about performances and status in s1, so her first time w Steve also being performative is a possibility. It makes the barb storyline even sadder too.)

But back to byler. theyre boys so dynamic will be different to a man and woman, but I think dom/sub conversation comes up so much more in gay sex, and is it because people just can’t see gay men as being equals in the bedroom? Even though people have no issue imaging equal sex with a man and woman, despite a similar dynamic of who is penetrating? But two men? Nope, one must be dom or sub, one must be more powerful, even if you’re a power bottom you’re still a power something. Why can’t it be equal? Why do we ALWAYS have to refer to dom and sub?

I’m not saying that dynamic wouldnt exist for byler at some point, or that it’s no good, but it doesn’t need to be the only frame of reference. Sure, byler don’t always have to have penetrative sex either, but even if they are, will it ever be possible to talk about topping and bottoming without power dynamics being involved? Equal union, joining of bodies, not an inkling of power in sight. In fact, not even using the term ‘topping’ and ‘bottoming’, which may well have origins in physicality, such as the missionary position, but certainly also hold connotations of power. Who’s on top? Who’s bottom? I don’t love the wording tbh, and I wonder what the history of that is in gay culture.

"Which leads me to the realization of how interesting it is to see such common dom/sub conversations around byler sex in this fandom. it speaks to the fact that fandom is very fantasy- and imagination-based rather than just working with what is canon. It's so intriguing, because I personally came to fandom hoping to discuss the show, almost analytically like we were in media class, and found lots of fantasy play and headcanons and stuff"

This is so interesting to me - it reminds me of that one anon the regular byler poll blog got recently about their confusion as to why people were speculating about things they can't possibly know the answer to. But yeah, you're right that a significant portion of fandom is imagination/headcanon based, and I agree with the anon on the byler polls account who pointed out that this is largely personality-driven, where some are all about this and others are... very much not.

All your other points are super interesting too! What does everyone else think?

#spicy byler #mike wheeler #will byers #spicy byler meta #top/bottom discourse #byler #no poll

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lingeronyourhazeleyes · 2 months ago

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thanks for your tags on that nowhere boy post! I'm so curious what your thoughts are on the movie. When did you first see it? Are you a John girl? What are your thoughts on Mimi and Julia?

aww thank you for this ask 🥰🥰 (and i'm terribly sorry, i'm gonna leave a wall of text here, cuz I just can't resist the opportunity to yap about my Beatles-related experiences and opinions xd)

first of all, i don't really get why this movie tends to get so much hate (aside from the part where John hits Paui, and i really liked your insight that it was necessary to make the subsequent hugging and crying on each other's shoulders less gay - god i hate you late 2000's), because tbh this is my favourite Beatles biopic. Aaron Taylor-Johnson captures John's whimsical spirit quite well imo and even though Thomas Brodie-Sangster wouldn't have been my first choice for Paul, he's really good at being a charming motherfucker and a lil shit at the same time :D

i think i saw it for the first time in my late teens/early 20s with my mom and her husband, but i didn't pay much attention to the details then (given that i only had a very surface level of Betales-knowledge back then). I rewatched it last November though (in the midst of a full-blown Beatles brainrot).

Am i a John girl? Huh, i guess i'm something that people around here would call a John-coded Paul girlie xd nevertheless I aspire to be a Ringo in the lives of my loved ones

And omg your last question led me very far, but I'll try to be brief (edit: i failed lol) :D so, as i read your notes, i was very surprised that it's considered an anti-Julia and pro-Mimi film (and seeing the points you have raised, now i can totally understand why). For me (even on my first viewing) it was never a Julia vs. Mimi thing. I've read it as a John vs John conflict (and this is the point where i start talking bullshit and/or total banalities. Feel free to correct me or argue with my points :D i always fancy a good argument). I've always seen him as a man with two conflicting sides: one is the whimsical, creative, free but overly emotional (consequently kinda unintegrable (i'm not sure if it's a real word lmao i hope it is :D) into modern western society) side (enabled by Julia), and the other one is the abandoned little boy who only wants to be loved, and is therefore ready (or even needs) to be controlled and steered in "the right direction" by others, hoping that they would not abandon him this way (and this side of him is fed by Mimi in a way in my opinion).

In my reading, both mother figures embodied and enabled one side of John, while actively trying to suppress or outright hurt the other side -- as, I think, John did in his own mind, constantly berating and hurting himself in the process. I thought Julia was so antagonistic (and i guess i was waaay more forgiving of her than i think an average person would be, because unfortunately in many ways her behaviour reminded me of myself), because imo society tends to frown upon overly emotional, somewhat detached and destructive, but free-spirited and creativity-enhancing behaviour, while supporting Mimi's "behave according to unspoken social rules and expectation, don't change the status quo, and suppress your emotions"-mindset, that she represented in the movie and tried to instil in John. (Seeing Mimi handle (and making John handle!!) Uncle George's death with coldness and complete suppression of emotions was just as painful and infuriating for me as the scene where Julia sent John away after all the (sometimes creepily inappropriate) lovebombing.) I have a theory that Paul was so important to John because he not only accepted but straight-up embraced (dare i say served) both sides of him. But probably i just see too much into all this xd

Sorry for the long, messy (and probably borderline meaningless) reply 🫣 i happened to have waaaaaay too many thoughts 😭😭

#ask #nowhere boy #a pseudo-intellectual movie analysis that nobody asked for #john lennon #the beatles

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sweetestpopcorn · 2 years ago

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Recently I've seen so many book stans repeating all the time that harwin was rhaenyra's soulmate/great love or whatever and I'm always so surprised lol, like when did someone make up that hc and decided that it was true just because they liked it???? There is barely anything on f&b about their relationship and I wouldn't say that the little the book has about them could lead me to that conclusion. Him being her lover and giving her children while she's married to a gay man is not enough to treat that as canon. I'm used to stans of the trash hbo show treating hcs or whatever they did there as the truth but book stans talking about their hcs as if they were established facts on the text makes me confused

Hi there Anon 🤗

I could say I am surprised but I would honestly be lying because book fans, "experts" and "intellectuals" saying things (and at times making wild claims - though it's not the case here) without a proper canon source has been common for many years.

Once again, having headcanons is perfectly fine, and to each their own, but claiming things we think are true without proper basis should not be made.

So Harwin Strong suffers much from the same problem as Laena Velaryon does in the sense that he does not have a proper personality. Her personality is liking to fly, his is being strong. He's also in a way defined not as a character but just as a way to get the "Velaryon" princes much like Laena is a way to get Baela and Rhaena and make Daemon a father.

About his relationship with Rhaenyra we know a few things, let me elaborate for anyone not familiar with the facts:

1- He had courted her before Viserys decided to marry Rhaenyra to Laenor (check Fire and Blood pg. 369)

2- He had long desired her (check Fire and Blood pg. 371)

3- According to Mushroom he was the man who actually took Rhaenyra's v-card. However, also according to Mushroom, this was less based on any love and more on rejection by Criston + anger + being h0rny (check Fire and Blood pg. 371)

4- Also according to Mushroom he was always by her side, they were lovers and he was the father of her three sons (Fire and Blood pg. 371, 372, 373, 376, and 377).

5- Septon Eustace raises the rumour that Harwin was Rhaenyra's lover and the father of her sons and dismisses it. HOWEVER, he also says that Harwin was by her side when she gave birth to Luke (check pg. 376) AND LATER ON gives us this pearl -> "Septon Eustace, more plausibly, suspects Prince Daemon, removing a rival for Princess Rhaenyra's affections." (Fire and Blood, pg. 383)

Eustace:

Can I just:

6- The year of 120 AC started and ended the same way: with Daemon's wife giving birth. Plot twist -> it was not the same wife.

Why am I bringing this up you ask? Well, because you see at the start of the year Daemon was married to Laena and Rhaenyra was still together with Harwin (who was her husband in every way except on paper). Yet at the end of the year Rhaenyra and Daemon are welcoming their first son together.

So they have at most 3 months for:

-Laena to die

-Laenor to die

-Harwin to die

Until the moment of conception... though... Harwin was sent away not too long before the fire of Harrenhal and Otto arriving to court as the new Hand to replace Lyonel, when it's announced Rhaenyra and Daemon got married. We don't know exact dates but it's entirely possible that Aegon's conception happened before my last point - Harwin's death.

So... what is undeniable here? Harwin and Rhaenyra were lovers for 6 years. They had 3 sons back to back (hehe). They spent a lot of time together. From the small information we have he seems very devoted to her. If nothing else they seem physically compatible and attracted to each other, and we know he desired Rhaenyra s#xually. It is also undeniable that barely was he cold on his grave - if he was dead at all - and Daemon was already "in" Rhaenyra (either they were married around this time or not remains a matter of debate).

Also undeniable, we have a LOT mentions of how Rhaenyra loved Daemon throughout her life - childhood, teenage years, and adulthood - and how they were close in all three of these moments. They were repeatedly separated only to be reunited and eventually married, and even while he was still married to Laena, and Rhaenyra was still together with Harwin and they were often together -> and no I don't believe they had any time of affair around this time and there is no mention/rumour of this having happened so if you see someone saying this it's a headcanon not a fact.

If the question here was: What was the healthiest relationship Rhaenyra had? The answer is clearly with Harwin Strong, a man much closer in age to her (estimates are that there were 7 years between them though it can be slightly more but likely not that much; if Harwin was 30 or pushing 30 by 114 AC it would be highly unusual for him to still be unmarried given his high position in society and the average age of marriage in Westeros), that was devoted her, and that she never actually ended the relationship as much as she was forced to end the relationship because they were made to be separated -> much like it happened with her and Daemon in 112 AC.

Small note on this last point because it does showcase a major difference between Rhaenyra's relationship with Harwin and her relationship with Daemon.

In 112 AC, when she and Daemon are discovered - what exactly they were doing can be debated between bases 2, 3, or 4 - after they are separated, Rhaenyra has no other relationship (besides being courted and having dudes after her) until 114 AC... when she is forced to marry Laenor Velaryon.

In 120 AC, upon being publicly accused of having an affair with Harwin Strong and being separated from him not two months pass - and this would mean Laena's death and Laenor's death happened in the same month which I find unlikely so we are probably dealing with less time than two months - and she is in bed with Daemon.

Now, some points could be made here such as:

What she went through in 112 AC was more traumatic than what she went through in 120 AC so maybe it was not like she liked one man more than the other but just that she didn't want to be caught again and have more trouble;

Or that -> the man she truly wanted was Criston (according to Mushroom) but he had refused her so that's why there was no one else and she only attempted again when she was desperate; But I ask, given everything that happened, given the entire story, what do you think? What is the simplest answer? What is more plausible? If you have to think too much or give too complicated an answer, if it’s not obvious... it’s probably not the correct option.

About the question is Harwin her soulmate/one true love? On that regard, given the book and the facts, I think given everything the answer is no. Clearly the most important relationship of her life, the man she loved above all others, the one she never forgot, was Daemon.

Was this reciprocated? Debatable. Maybe very debatable. But from Rhaenyra's part I really do fail to see any merit in arguing against it when there is just so much in the books and it all aligns with the simple fact that: she loved and never forgot Daemon.

Did this mean she didn't love Harwin? No, I don't think it does. It is more than possible and completely common that throughout one's life we will love more than one person -> I am talking about actual love not just passion. It's highly unlikely that someone like Rhaenyra who had so few partners (2) would maintain a relationship for so long without having feelings for the person. Going any further and extrapolating it to "love of her life"... yeah stretch, and headcanon. Which everyone is very free to have!

Everyone is entitled to their opinions and headcanons and we should respect them and if it's not for us, we just move away.

Tbh though, it's not a headcanon that I have any significant problem with. It's justice for Harwin and he kind of deserves it because for so long he was completely brushed over and ignored and while Laena was the love of Daemon's life based on www.voicesinmyhead.com, by the same voices Rhaenyra didn't give a flying f_ck about Harwin and he was little more than a disposable dild0. What I think is motivating this though is not the books said readers read, but another thing and you guessed it: REDACTED.

If I had a penny for every "book-reader" that is now debating REDACTED as if it's part of book canon I would be very rich. Which would be nice since I would have something positive come out of this :))

And if there is still doubt about what REDACTED says about canon, besties, here you go:

Sorry for the very long answer! Anyway, good on you Ser Beefcakes! At least you are having some recognition.

Harwin Strong regarding his fate of dying yet still having been Rhaenyra's lover for 6 years and potentially having her v-card on his back pocket:

#harwin strong #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen #the rogue prince #the princess and the queen #fire and blood #house targaryen #pre asoiaf #the realm's delight #breakbones #canon rhaenyra targaryen #canon daemon targaryen #canon harwin strong #this is related to the BOOKS only #daemon x rhaenyra #rhaenyra x harwin #popcorn answers

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cococowboah · 2 years ago

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Hail Santa!

Chapter 2: Cowboys and Angles

My family considered all content not created by the Watchtower Organization to be “worldly.” This means it was made in Satan’s world, and therefore it was typically tainted with material designed to turn us away from Jehovah’s love.

Any media containing sex, violence, occultism, and homosexual themes (all the fun stuff basically) made the hit list on what not to watch on TV as a Jehovah’s Witness.

Granted, it wasn’t tightly enforced, just heavily frowned upon. Almost every Witness, no matter how devout, had at least one cheat show, movie, or song that they just couldn’t resist breaking the rules for. They do their little guilty sigh when “our choices in entertainment” are brought up from the podium, then once every-now-and-then they take a moment to indulge in their chosen media.

My mom’s favorite, and by extension mine, was a TV drama called SPURRED. Set in the 1800s, it takes place with a gang of outlaws as they muddle through life, love, and liberty.

It’s fun, action-packed, full-on frontal with the ladies and the guys; it was easy to see why I indulged alongside my mom, even with her skipping ahead on all the juicy bits to save her conscience just a tad.

If a scene she insisted on skipping looked particularly interesting, I’d typically just end up watching it again on my own later in the night on my phone. Usually I didn’t bother, the sex wasn’t interesting enough every time to warrant watching the episode again just to skip to it, unless Sally West was involved.

She was the womanly eye-candy of the show, but an excellent character regardless. She starts off as the daughter of an abusive farmer father, a real dickhead who uses his daughter as a slave since his wife passed. He molests her, beats her, calls her horrible names, and refuses to let her marry so she can leave him.

Eventually, the gang of outlaws the show follows take the man hostage after learning that he is actually a very wealthy guy despite his simple roots. Sally takes her shot at freedom and helps the outlaws find the money, on the condition that they take her along and teach her how to be a badass so she will never be victimized again.

She shoots her own pa in the back of the head as she leaves, and from then on she metamorphosizes into a strong, independent person capable of holding her own far beyond what she ever thought she could.

Sally ends up falling in love with Pete, and they have a multiple season long affair. It looked like they’d always be together, Sally even got to talking about them running off away from the life and starting a family together, but Season 5’s ending revealed a bombshell.

Pete ended up having an affair with Ulysses, the gang leader’s right hand man. Or at least, it surely seemed that way. Sally is out hunting rabbits when she happens to notice her husband’s horse, Glory, grazing alongside Maybell, Ulysses’ horse. There’s only one tent in the field, and a small long-forgotten fire in front, but no sign of the two men.

Sally kicks her filly into a trot to go investigate, and around the campfire lay clothing and liquor strewn about haphazardly. Moaning coming from the tent, she gulps and pulls the flaps open to reveal Pete riding Ulysses like his life depended on it.

The guilty parties quickly squirm into a more presentable position, Sally walks away, pulls her face into her horse’s mane, and cries.

And that’s how Season 5 ended, no explanation, not even a hint as to whether this had been going on the entire time or was just a fluke. Pete and Ulysses had a shit ton of chemistry together, but I never guessed they would end up as lovers.

My mom and I just sat there in shock as the credits rolled. I was hot-faced, expecting her to go on some rant about how “they just gotta put the gay agenda in everything now, don’t they!” But surprisingly, she was more shocked that Pete would cheat on Sally, her favorite character.

Mom looked around for the remote and let out a mumbling comment, “after all that poor girl has been through, now her husband is screwing his best friend.”

“Least it wasn’t another girl, right?”

Mom gave a wide-eyed look. “Well from the looks of it, Pete would rather be the girl.”

“Him being a bottom doesn’t mean he wants to be a girl, mom.”

“Ulysses was on the bottom.”

“No, mom. The guy taking it is called the bottom, whether he’s actually on the bottom or not.”

“And how would you know this, Kai?”

I shrugged. “School?”

My mom couldn’t help but give out a chuckle. “Nice try. How about heading to bed instead of lecturing me on gay lovemaking. ”

“A much preferable act when compared to teaching my mom what bottoming means.”

“Much preferable to learning that you even know these things at all.”

🕮

Thursdays were my version of Mondays.

For others, Monday signaled the end of the weekend and the beginning of the work or school week. It was the end of rest and the start of the new, the longest day of the week and a harbinger of doom from the start.

Thursday was that for me, purely because it was a meeting night. I didn’t really get two days of relaxation, every moment I spent away from life essentials was a moment I could and should be dedicating to God.

I woke up, 6AM as usual. Family prayer, Daily Text, off to the Kingdom Hall, and out in service by 8:30. In service from then until 10AM, then it’s back home, books open, homeschool in session. 3PM, school is out, time for a handful of me-time until 6PM, where I’m getting back in my meeting clothes and getting all dolled up for the Kingdom Hall again.

It was grueling. I was a teenager who wanted to be living life, meeting girls, experimenting and trying new things and figuring out who I am and who I wanted to be. But instead, I’m in an itchy indigo suit with a tie tied too tightly around my throat, sitting on an ugly, red, squeaky retractable chair while JW original orchestral music plays throughout the stuffy hall.

I look around for Alan, my saving grace, but he’s nowhere in sight. It’s incredibly unusual for him to be late, so it’s concerning, but then I catch his eye as he turns away from a tall, silver-haired and blue-eyed gentleman standing behind a doorway.

He’s flush red for some reason, and looks nervous as he walks over to me.

“Paul is the new Elder in our hall, did you say hi to him yet?” Alan asked me.

“Not really, doesn’t look like my kind of guy.”

“Well he’s an Elder, we should strive to get to know our spiritual shepherds, Kai.”

“Or should I, as Jesus might say, treat him as I would anybody else?”

“That’d be accurate if you had a track record of treating everyone with respect.”

“Respect is earned, not given. Only cult leaders, government officials and unqualified work managers demand respect where none is due.”

“Well a certain degree of respect for everyone is how you earn respect yourself.”

“I don’t need anyone to respect me. My ego isn’t that big.”

Alan smiled and shushed me.“If we’re going to talk about ego, maybe we could discuss that blog you had back in middle school. Remember the one? You made over a thousand fake accounts just so you could brag to the other kids in the congregation that you were some kind of niche celebrity?”

“And nobody cared! That’s how it should be! That should be a lesson to learn from, not an example of egomania.”

“Recently then, last week at the mall you asked me to put your initials on my high score.”

“You never put your own name anyways!”

“I play for fun, not for glory.”

Brother Ichabod began his short ascent up the stage steps, a black tablet in his hands as he readjusted his glasses and looked out at the faces of everyone in the hall, some smiling, some neutral, most of them tired-eyed and secretly wishing they were at home watching TV.

His presence on stage encouraged those still standing and talking to run off and find their seats. “Good evening to you brothers and sisters. If everyone could just finish taking a seat, we are going to begin the meeting now with song…” He trailed off, looked down, took a second to unlock his tablet screen and struggled with it for a few seconds before finally continuing with, “song number 54, We Must Have The Faith.”

That annoyingly cheerful, disney-esque tune played through the Kingdom Hall, bouncing off yellow-wallpapered walls and through the ears of everyone unfortunate enough to think this music is divine.

I mumbled along, Alan sung proudly and loud. Part of me was jealous that I didn’t share his zeal, surely the meetings wouldn’t be such a bore if I actually believed anything I was being taught.

The song ends, my sister Loretta holds my hand as Brother Ichabod leads with a prayer, “dear wondrous, powerful, and loving God Jehovah, we come before you, bowing our heads, as humble servants of you, oh Lord…”

He continues, but I’ve already tuned out. I open my eyes, glance around the room, mostly at Alan.

He’s so tall next to me, his black curls gave off the illusion that they could graze the ceiling once he raised his head again.

Maybe he wanted to hold my hand during the prayer. Maybe I wanted to. Maybe I couldn’t stop thinking about reaching out and gracing his fingers, giving his hand a gentle squeeze so he could know it’s all alright.

But he was the confident one here. He was the one holding his own hand, listening intently to the prayer; he felt comforted just being in this room at all. The Kingdom Hall was Alan’s home.

So, I deduced it must have been me who needed the comfort, me who needed reassurance that things were going to be okay, me who needed him to hold my hand.

Just as I went to reach out and slide my fingers within his palm, just shyly tickling the baby soft skin of his hands, the first “Amen” rang throughout the hall, signaling the beginning of the meeting, the opening of eyes, the unbowing of heads and the resting of asses in seats.

Many years of this routine gave me an excellent imagination. While the others took notes, listened intently to the brothers as they gave their presentations, and raised their hands to participate in the workbook discussion, I had a running daydream about being a cowboy.

Out in the wild west, living off my wits, riding my stallion across the plains. Rescuing damsels in distress, shooting bad guys, looting civil war treasure!

I wasn’t so sure about that last one but it’s my imagination and anything could happen.

Alan is the local pastor, of course. He guides others in spiritual matters and has dedicated his life to Jesus and to helping those in the community atone for their sins. But deep inside, he’s troubled. His romantic desires are wired for men. He struggles with this curse day in and day out, wanting something of which he can never, ever have.

Until he meets a cowboy, a short fella compared to the tall and lanky pastor. This cowboy takes him on a journey to see the new world, see the sights God created, help him realize that he doesn’t need books or bibles or a big fancy church to worship God and help others find spiritual comfort. Help him see that the rules are man made, that humans are meant to be free, and that religion is a tool designed to hijack human spirituality and make mindless drones who are more in love with their rules and church than God himself.

Maybe I’m getting preachy myself, but in my world of pre-1900’s America, Alan is a happy gay man, settled down in a log cabin with his romantic partner. I never really figured out what that romantic partner looked like, but I visit them often, hitching my horse out front and going inside for a nice hot cup of coffee before I’m off again on one of my many journeys.

By the time the adventure is over, we’re all getting up for the final song, Loyally Submitting to Theocratic Order. If you think that sounds culty, just go listen to it. You’ll be right.

The second prayer, I’m suddenly reminded of my attempt from earlier. I don’t even think twice, I go for it, reach for his hand, touch his skin again and I’m relieved when his tightly held palms fall away from each other just so he can intertwine his fingers with mine.

A smile arrived on my face, I looked up at him again and saw a smile on his face too. He was a beautiful creature when he smiled, enchanting. It was hard to take my eyes off of him, I barely knew why.

After the final amen, the brothers and sisters slowly dispersed into themselves. Sisters gathered in small groups to discuss plans for outings or service, brothers congregated around Elders in hopes that some of the superior spirituality would rub off onto them. I stood around talking to Alan, who went on about his favorite parts of the meeting and asked me mine, to which I replied, as I always do, “I was a pretty big fan of the entire meeting, honestly.”

And Alan didn’t seem to take that as a sign that I wasn’t listening, although he probably knew I wasn’t. He just took it as a sign that he needed to make an effort to make me interested.

It was impossible, but it was entertaining to see him try. “Maybe sometime next week we could catch the JW Broadcast together!”

There is nothing I’d like to do less. But this was Alan, so the invitation was still a pleasant one despite my intent to do anything else.

“Right, right, or, get this, we could hang out at the mall next week.”

“We always hang out at the mall, Kai. We never do anything spiritual together.”

“Alan, you and I both know that the only time two teenagers decide they wanna do something spiritual together it’s because they’re dating and they think that if they bring God into it they’ll be less likely to bang.”

Alan rolled his eyes at me. “I can’t make you do anything spiritual with me, Kai. But if you wanna go to the mall, I guess I’ll just have to watch JW Broadcasting on my phone while we walk around.”

“Suit yourself, Alan. But that’s gonna be pretty bizarre to the people in the dildo aisle at Spencer’s.”

Off in the corner of my eye, my baby brother instincts detected my sister Lorrie talking to a boy. Some big chubby kid, couldn’t have been much older than 20, so at least he was in her age-range.

But the look on his face was anything but age-appropriate, or Kingdom Hall appropriate to be fair. It might have just been my uncanny ability to sense a bad situation months prior to it actually occurring, but I had a bad feeling about that louse.

I hated him. Never spoke two words to the guy, never came face to face with him even, but I hated him.

“Alan, let’s go see my-” I turned to face him, and he was gone. Alan, my backup brother, was off talking to the new Elder again.

“Fine, guess I’ll deal with this douche myself.” I say without any reassurance that this guy was actually bad news. Maybe I was oversensitive, maybe it was just my primal desire to keep my family safe from intruders. Maybe I just needed to express some Christian Love and get to know the guy before I judge him.

“‘Sup, name’s Hezekiah.” I reach out my hand to him, he stands about a foot taller than me but I refuse to break eye contact.

He raises an eyebrow at me and laughs. “‘Sup? We ain’t in the hood, friend.”

I scowled. Loretta put a hand on my shoulder.

“Nathan, this is my brother, Kai.”

“Ahhh, well, nice to meet you then. You’re a lucky kid, ain’t you?”

“I’m 17, hardly a kid, kid. ”

“Well you didn’t set that up how I expected, you’re a lucky kid being the brother of such a beautiful thing like your sister here.”

Lorrie giggled, the girl was 18 and this was the first boy to ever notice her as a woman and not a child; of course she was going to be happy about it.

“Yeah, I know, right? Too bad she’s a lesbian.” Lorrie hit me on the shoulder in response, I accepted it.

“Lesbians.” Nathan made the most exaggerated face he could muster. “Ugh. They put the L in UGLY. What abominations to Jehovah’s purpose. You know, I can comprehend gay men to an extent, don’t agree with it, but I get it. Men were made first, we are independent creatures. But a woman needs a man. She was made from man, only with a man could a woman truly be complete. Plus, the pieces don’t fit! It’s like sticking two legos together on the hole sides!”

“Does your mom know you’re an asshole?”

“Kai, go talk to Alan or something.” Lorrie pushed me away. My sister pushed me away from her sexist love interest because I had the gall to say something about his bigoted remarks.

Women, am I right?

🕮

Thursday nights after the meeting were like a breath of fresh air. As much as I hated going to the hall, wearing heavy, itchy dress clothes and trying to act like I care about anyone or anything in the religion, there were few feelings that topped coming home and stripping off the Godly personality in the privacy of my bedroom.

There was nothing quite like feeling free of the burden of being a good Witness boy, to feel naked and alive for the next few moments before bed. The feeling was exceedingly rare as my family ramped up the dedication as I grew older. For my formative years, I went in service once a week and was allowed a paper pad and pen at the meetings to draw to my heart's content. Time flew faster, I could get lost in creating a story on a single page and before I knew it we were in the car and heading home.

The moment I turned 11, the paper was taken away. Instead, I was given a worksheet to write down what I was learning at the hall. I was forced to pay attention.

As time went on, the organization began phasing out physical books and notepads were discouraged. Witness families were encouraged to buy tablets and use the JW apps on their devices to keep up with the meetings.

As the religion worked to go more digital, my family picked up the slack by tacking more onto our to-do list. Now, there isn’t a day that goes by without some sort of Godly dedication involved.

It was exhausting. The religion took over my life like a parasite I had no choice but to feed my life to. I felt like I was born just to be a slavemaker, a custom made creation designed and trained to break down the independent molds of outsiders and spread the parasite’s eggs with hopes that they blossom.

I never asked for this life, but ultimately, it wasn’t all bad.

I had my own little world to enjoy, to return to when the demands of Witness life had been sufficiently met. When I came home drained of energy, ability, and thought, I could plop down into bed, pop my earphones in, and engage in 2.5 hours of delicious debauchery before bed.

And in between the episodes of TV shows I was told to avoid, movies I was forbidden from watching, and the occasional guilty pleasure of porn, I had Alan to fall back on.

Sending memes back and forth or fun tidbits from our days, or even just making some future plans that will never come to fruition. I cherished him and all that he brought into my life.

Alan was the one good thing about being a Jehovah’s Witness.

#exjw #ex jw #ex christian #ex jehovah's witness #best life ever #christian #lgbt #lgbt fiction #jehovah witness #jehovahswitnesses #jehovas witnesses

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blackholeofcreativity · 1 year ago

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Reminds me of when i came out to my grandma (late 70’s). My parents told me not to, because “she might get upset, and she’s old, she won’t understand. Why do you need her to know?”

But one day i was having lunch with her and she said “i’m really glad you’re opening up to us (immediate family) more. I wanna know everything about you because i love you”

And so i told her. “I’m bisexual, grandma, that means i like both men and women. And when i was living abroad, i was dating a woman.”

She then followed up by telling me of her friends’ queer kids, like “oh so and so’s daughter is moving in with a woman” and “so and so’s son is also gay!”

Then the questions started. “If you don’t mind my asking, who’s the man and who’s the woman in these kinds of relationships?”

“Well, grandma, what you’re talking about are gender expectations. Yknow how nowadays women aren’t expected to stay home and only bear children? And they aren’t expected to obey their husbands all the time? That’s an example of a gender expectation that was around in your time but isn’t anymore. When two people of the same gender are together, they kinda split the work between them. Sometimes you’ll have a couple where one woman goes out to work and the other stays home to care for kids, and sometimes you have couples where both women work and share responsibility of the kids! Every couple makes those decisions for themselves, does that make sense?”

“Oh, i see.” Conversation comes and conversation goes and she brings up another friend’s kid, “so and so’s daughter is dating a woman-who’s-a-man-now”

“That’s super cool grandma! My ex girlfriend was also trans, in which means she used to be a man but is now a woman. Just to let you know, it’s more respectful if you refer to trans people as the gender they are now. Like that person you mentioned? He’s a man. And if you wanna include his transition, say he’s a trans man.”

And the conversation continued. She was awesome and super supportive and reassured me many times that she was glad i told her and she loved and supported me as i am, now and always. Sure her questions were “disrespectful” on the surface, but how was she supposed to know? If i’m the first person to explain to her about gender expectations, how would she know that asking who the man is and who the woman is can be disrespectful? The important thing is that she was willing to learn, and was willing to support both me and the community as a whole.

So as an addendum: the atitude matters more than the language

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

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sunfaggot · 1 month ago

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Quick Travis and Copper word vomit. I did not check this for mistakes lmfao

“The neighbor's having a party,” Began Travis. He played games with his food; spaghetti twirling like a dance, meatball stabbed through the fork.

Tomato sauce accidentally fell on Travis's lap and he exclaimed in surprise. “Oh, damnit!” Irritation played on his voice, but his face crinkled with a smile as he looked up at his husband; just boyfriend only a few years ago. “I just washed these...”

Copper snorted and handed him a napkin. He was twirling his own pasta and raised it up like he was showing up. Look at me, said his playful grin, I'm doing this way better than you are and I haven't spilled a single drop.

Their changes from boys to men was made more evident then. When they were just boys, Travis cried at the sight of his expensive pants being dirted by just a speck of dirt. Like a hand may reprimand him for it. Now he only regarded messes with mild irritation.

Copper, however, had grown more playful over the years. He was no longer the boy with bloodied knuckles, bruised-covered arms, and a cruel snarl on his face. He was a man living in a neighborhood that didn't bite him when he cried and tried to explain why.

“Neighbor's having a party?” He said, realizing Travis wanted a conversation. “Which one?”

“The one.”

“Yeah? Which one is that?”

“The one that's always inviting us to everything... The bakery, the park, the shop, the hidden queer bar twice...”

“I'm gonna need a name, babe.”

“You know her!” Travis exasperated. “She's the one with the black hair and brown eyes and colorful lipstick. The colorful lipstick woman– No, don't laugh! Don't- Hey! ”

“We've known this woman for months, Travis!” Copper cackled and didn't care that it sounded hideous. “Months. I remember, you invited her to our house and told me you've introduced yourselves, that you–” spoken in a tone mocking of his husband “– hoped you'd get to be friends for a long time.”

Travis's face flushed with embarrassment.

“This is awful! You can't make fun of me like this.” He showed his ring. “We're married.”

“We're married.” Copper put his hand against Travis's, their rings clinking together. “I get a pass.”

“It's not my fault.” Travis sounded like a child to both of their ears. Despite their argumentive tone, and the flushing of Travis's place, there lingered a sense of playfulness between them. The smile never left Copper's face. “I've always been awful with names. You know, I called you Davies for so long back in Adam's Creek because I couldn't remember your first name for the life of me.”

That was true.

Travis had never called him by name when they weren't close. It was only when they'd gotten closer that Travis would call him Copper; spoken with a warmth in his tone no one ever had before.

Before that discovery, Copper always thought it was just hostility disguised as respect. The way rich snobs turned their noses at you in Adam's Creek and either referred to you by surname, or didn't at all.

Travis tapped on the table. “I just wanted to ask if you wanted to go... What even is her name, anyway?”

“Sara.”

“Just Sara?”

“Yeah, without the H.”

“You even remember the spelling...”

Lightheartedly, “How did you even survive in Adam's Creek?”

“With you by my side.”

“Cute."

“Unfortunately, you make fun of me too much... Sara without an H... Ridiculous, it's so simple and forgettable. Of course I'd forget it.”

“You forget a woman's name and then you make fun of it! I've married a goddamn stranger.”

“Sara without an H. What if I was Travis without the S? What if you were Copper without the R? Travi and Coppe, you know them? They're that gay couple down the street. Don't make fun of their names, okay? They'll burst into tears.”

“Coppe is going to that party just to tell Sara without an H that you're making fun of her.”

Travis looked terrified.

“Don't.”

#oc: travis #oc: copper

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glemmerdash-piecesof8 · 5 months ago

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She had found herself fidgety and restless. It was as though she needed to enter a new stage of her life. She had found a book of Roberts about the situationists and it had amazed her because they were speaking about a society of bread and circuses in the 1960’s.

Luke walked in, wet from the rain and kissed her on the cheek anyway. She turned about and slid her hands into his coat.

‘This must come off’ she gently insisted.

Luke smiled. ‘How was your day?’ She unbuttoned him and took his coat off sleeve by sleeve.

‘Interesting. There is wine open. I want to talk. And you?’

‘Strange as usual.’

She smiled. She knew she wouldn’t insist that he dry his hair.

‘Tell me.’

Roo got two glasses out of the cupboard and poured the wine. She passed him one and walked to the lounge and sat down.

‘I don’t want to frighten you.’

Luke laughed,’ Tell me’ ,he said.

Roo nestled into the faded blue couch and sighed.

‘Well you know I am a feminist.’

‘Yes- that’s why you don’t believe in marriage.’

‘Yes.’ she paused. ‘ I had this waking dream but I think I need to give it some context.’

‘Alright.’

‘I read an article about how white feminists don’t worry about real problems and it got me thinking. Then Robert said he was bored with his job and I thought’ what would be a good change for him?’ And, I thought- interesting reality tv.’

‘Really? Is there such a thing?’

‘Well – I thought it must be possible. And I have been learning about the spectacle.’

‘The spectacle?’

‘How media and society works.’

‘Right. I get that. I think he told me . They were mainly French those people?’

‘Yes- that’s what I am talking about. Anyway- you know I am always worried that I can’t satisfy you because your bi-sexual.’

Luke smiled softly. .‘You know I am happy.’

‘But really imagine life could be really interesting. Like an experiment.’

‘You want to try swinging?’ Luke said looking a little confused and then smiling.’ That’s very middle class of you.’ He chuckled quietly.

Roo took a sip of her wine. Her mouth was dry.

‘I have been thinking that I want to do something special with my life. Teaching the little ones is great but it doesn’t really make people think.’

Luke took off his scarf.

‘So not swinging.’

‘No.’

He shrugged.’ Oh right- a reality show. A feminist reality show. An active feminist reality show.’

‘Yes.’

‘But how? What would make it active and feminist?’

‘You know that president with 6 wives?’

‘Yes.’

‘He’s a man.’

‘Yes.’

‘What if it were the other way round?’

Luke was silent.

Roo said cautiously.’ There was a Mormon reality tv show.’

Luke was silent.

Roo sipped her wine. She took a deep breath.

‘It’s an impossible project.’

Luke slowly spun the glass between his palms and looked at the floor.

‘You would get married?’

‘I think so. It would be the spectacle. I had a vision of me in a white dress and then a whole lot of men in suits and then I realised- that is a spectacle.’

Luke laughed. ‘What about the sex?’

‘I have no idea.’

‘You haven’t thought of it?’

‘No. I just was thinking about how it would lead to talk about what’s possible for women.’

‘ 6 husbands ? And you haven’t thought about the sex?’

Luke smiled and then started laughing.

Roo watched him and suddenly had an image of 6 naked men. She smiled.

‘I suppose I would want happy bi-gay couple’s so I didn’t have to spend all my time in bed.’

Luke was staring fondly at her.

‘Yes . I suppose you would have to be sensible.’ He smiled and she smiled back. He took a sip of his wine and then said, ‘Let’s ask Robert if he thinks it will sell. He’s the most uninterested person we know.’

Roo put her glass down.’ I don’t know if I can explain it again so soon.’

Luke put his arm around her and smiled.’ Well its lucky I am a man then.’

Roo looked at him.’ I could maybe tomorrow.’

Luke smiled.’ You know I am joking. I would love to tell him . I think its a really interesting idea. I don’t know how we will do it but we can give it some time. Just tell me one thing. Have you ever been with more than one man, or have you at least fantasied about it?

Roo looked thoughtful.’ I don’t know.’ she said.’ Possibly in a dream but I don’t remember at all. I am probably still repressed.’

Luke kissed her head. ‘ A spectacle indeed.’

‘Robert’s books are interesting and strange’ she said.

‘Yes indeed. Whoever would have thought.’

‘Would you mind being part of an experiment?’

‘No, I don’t think so. I love my job but it would be interesting to do something else too.’

They fell into silence and then Luke laughed. ‘We’ll do it together.’

‘Yes,’ Roo quickly said.’ I would be scared to do it without you.’

The front door closed.

‘There’s Robert,’ Luke said.’ Let me go talk to him.’

Roo stretched.’ I’ll finish dinner then. It will be ready in 10 minutes or so. I just need to do the pasta.’

Luke smiled, ’Your something else.’

Roo grinned,’ Your something else too.’

Roo had just bought the water to the boil when Robert and Luke came into the kitchen. Robert stood looking at her and started imagining how she would look on camera. She turned around hesitantly and poured the water from the kettle into the pot.

Robert was looking at her. She was so feminine and harmless looking. Just like some of the worst politicians he thought and then looked at her again. She was talking.

‘- Its crazy. Yes, I know it’s crazy but I want to make a statement with my life. I haven’t thought enough about it ,but it does have shock factor.’

She poured the spaghetti into the pot.

Robert shook his head.

‘Do you have any idea of how much you will have to organise. We will have to make a distribution company and get funding and then you have to find the people.’

Roo was watching the spaghetti melt slowly, itching to stir it.

‘But, it’s a spectacle? She asked, looking at Robert.

Luke looked at Robert too.

Robert threw his hands in the air.

‘Yes it’s a spectacle.’ His hands dropped and he smiled.’ But what do you want to say?’ His brow creased.

‘That its possible for it to be the other way around.’

Luke added,’ And we could all be happy having it the other way around.’

Roo nodded, spoon in hand.

Robert looked at both of them and shook his head. ‘Think bigger!’ His hands were in the air again.’ You would all be celebrities. You could impact the very culture we live in. You could do interesting projects and be creative. It would sell and you could teach people how to live in this tragic world of nukes, wars and climate change. No children unless you adopt. Everyone of the husbands would need a vasectomy. Have a garden and grow food not roses.’

Luke looked sad,’ But I like roses.’

Roo piped up. ‘Yes- what about bread and roses.’

Robert shook his head. ‘Maybe on the walls but we import so much food when we could grow it ourselves. We need everyone to have food gardens like in World War 2 and even more. There are so many of us now.’

Roo remembered the pasta and began to stir, the olive oil forming tiny circles on the surface of the water.

‘So you want us to do propaganda?’ She said quietly.

Robert laughed, ‘You would already be doing propaganda.’ He paused. ‘ Don’t you see- you could show people how to live. You could advertise good products- ethical products. You could build and fix things. You could teach people how to cook, how to garden , how to create. I am sure we can find some interesting people to take part.’

Roo looked at the clock. Luke sighed.

‘So it wouldn’t just be about the sex.’

Robert shook his head.

‘No, it needs to be a family show.’

Luke stood up straight and smiled.

‘Well that does make it more interesting. We would have some privacy’

Roo stirred the pasta. She mused, ‘Do you think we will still be able to keep our jobs?’

Robert smiled, ‘Sure, I would suggest we shot the first 3 months in secret. It would take a while to work out where you could get married anyway.’

‘Won’t it be expensive? Luke said.

‘Not if you live in a squat or as property guardians. We can try get a 5 year agreement on a big building.’

Roo looked at the clock again.

‘So you think it’s possible?’

Robert nodded enthusiastically, his dark brown fringe bouncing.

‘It will take a lot of meetings, and you will need to get good people but I know about getting loans for these kind of things from the documentaries I have worked on. I would like to be part of the production company with the 7 of you.’

‘There’s only two of us at the moment.’

‘For now’, Robert smiled.’ Would you be happy with that?’

Roo nodded and so did Luke. Roo looked at the clock again and then said,’ You were part of the plan all along.’

They sat down to eat. It was quiet except for the sounds of cutlery and chewing. Roo felt strange. She wanted to cry and she was struggling to swallow her food.

Luke looked at her and saw how she looked shaky. He reached across the table and took her hand.

‘I need to think about it,’ she said.

‘We can take as long as you need.’ Luke said reassuringly.

Robert fidgeted and put down his fork.

‘Luke’s right, we can take our time but I will need you to tell me when you’re ready so I can start setting things up.’

Roo nodded and gripped Luke’s hand tighter.

‘We’ll get hate mail,’ she said softly,’ and I could lose my job.’

There was silence for a while. No-one was eating anymore.

Luke got up and went to stand behind Roo, stroking her hair.

‘What about we listen to some Mingus and see what he has to say?’ he said.

Roo leaned back and smiled.’ That would be good,’ she said.

Luke walked to the record player and started flicking through vinyls. He only had about fifty, but the Mingus was there. He found it and turned the turntable on, and then gently placed the record on, softly dropping the needle before pressing play.

The sound started to build and Roo started playing with her food again, taking small bites and chewing thoroughly. The music filled the flat and as she worked her way slowly through the meal she started to feel more clear.

They all sat listening and when the side finished Roo went to the kitchen for a glass of water. She sat at the kitchen table and felt the glass between her teeth. Luke had turned the record over and had started shuffling around. She smiled and then looked down and saw the headline,' War on Terror continues’. She could feel the anger in the music and started to think about all the people in prison, all the starving children across the world, all the trees getting chopped down and dams getting built. She thought of birds eating plastic and victims of mines and she gripped the glass, eventually bringing it to her forehead. She thought of the rapes, the orphans, neutron bombs and the rangy foxes she saw when waiting for Luke to come home. Then she looked up and saw Luke shuffling along to the music and her heart hurt for a second before she put the water glass down softly. She started drinking it before looking out of the window to see the rain falling. She got up and washed the glass and then ran her hand over the countertop, eventually leaning against it watching Luke. Robert got up and started shuffling along too. She looked out the window and thought about the fox she saw the night before. He just lived. He didn’t worry about a pension. She walked up behind Luke and put her arms around him and then whispered in his ear,’ I am ready! Let’s be brave!’ He twisted round, put his hand on her cheek, before kissing her properly on the mouth. He put a strand of her hair gently behind her right ear and then shouted, ’Robert- we’re in business!’ They all smiled and then hugged before they started dancing.

The classroom was quiet. Roo sat at her desk and breathed a little. The kids had been on fire today. She had been talking about cheetahs and they had all ogled the pictures of cheetahs and she had heard a few gasps when she played them the video.

It was difficult to know if there would be fallout, but she had really wanted to share the clip she had found with them. She wasn’t sure how many of the kids were brought up vegetarian, though she knew of a fair number, or whose parents were against violence. She shook her head. They all should know by now how things worked in the wild. The world wasn’t supposed to be wrapped in plastic.

She got up and started tidying the chairs. They hadn’t done any painting today so things were pretty tidy. When she was done she found herself staring out of the window, looking at the single oak tree in the playground. She realised it was supposed to be in a forest and she sighed, running her hand over her forehead. She didn’t have to cook tonight but there was shopping to get. It was still raining and Roo wondered if she would ever stop getting the bus and get a car. Buses could be so busy and she didn’t get that much time to herself anymore.

She’d have a bath. It was a good idea. She imagined lying still in the bath and the feel of her hands over her body as she washed herself. Everything was that much more sensual in the bath. And there were clean sheets! She thought about climbing into bed and feeling the cotton envelop her.

She imagined taking Luke in her mouth and feeling him pulse inside of her. She was smiling now and twirling her hair. Yes, he was a good lover and they would be fine if the experiment went ahead. She knew whatever happened they would make time for each other.

The rain was still falling softly. She wondered where the birds hid in the rain and what they ate when it snowed. She would have to look into that. The kids would find that interesting. They were still so interested in life it sometimes took her breath away.

There was nothing left to do so she found her coat and carefully did up the buttons. She hated it when they came off. The needle never seemed thick enough to get through the material neatly.

The cold air hit her in the face as she left the building. It made her laugh -a little giddy. It was always exhilarating to be finished with work and going home to people she loved.

She remembered the years of just making herself work and coming home alone to a flat she didn’t even like, and flatmates she found boring. She had still cared about them though. That seemed to happen with people you spend a lot of time with. Except her parents and other fundamentalists. All they were interested in was proving they were right.

She remembered feeling trapped. It had seemed like there was nothing original she could do with her life except dying her hair. Everyone ultimately seemed to believe they could consume their way too happiness. She thought of a girl she had known called Stacy, who had always been running off to Africa to work in orphanages and being amazed that Stacy had had the courage to do things like that.

She knew what Stacy had felt now. She felt like she had an unknown strength to do the experiment. It was as though she could suddenly see through all the fear and insecurity and laugh at it. There was too much suffering in this world to be afraid as well.

The bus arrived and she climbed on, smiling at the driver and getting a little nod in return. She lived for little interactions of humanity and the city. She knew she wouldn’t have the tenacity to keep smiling and chatting if she didn’t teach and didn’t have Luke. He had helped her to engage a little more with her environment over the last year. She had first realised she was disconnected when she visited a small town for training, and she had been completely floored when the stranger had sincerely said ‘good morning’ to her. It had made her feel so uncomfortable, and she hadn’t understood why.

She had wrestled with it for a few years and then met Luke, who engaged with nearly everyone he met. She remembered asking him why he didn’t get tired of being so friendly. He had laughed and said yes, when he was tired, he just wasn’t but that other people could bring it out. So, she had tried it. She has started with shop assistants and tried to not just demand things of them, and now when she went into her local shops, they were glad to see her, and it felt good.

There were two ladies on the bus. They were talking about movie clubs from when they were younger. She started listening intently. They were talking about singing songs now and Roo thought about how much things change. She couldn’t setup movie clubs for kids necessarily, but she could do the experiment and use it to launch ideas.

They passed the station she had used to use before she lived with Luke. She remembered watching the people on the train with headphones on. They had become less interesting to watch as they all seem to be on their phones these days. The young and old seemed to be the only people not in the thrall of technology. Now she didn’t even use the headphones, she just daydreamed. She had noticed that now sometimes when a man got on the bus she would feel a very slight tug she supposed that must be how it was for men if they really did think about sex the whole time.

Last night Luke had been teasing her about her fantasy life. He seemed to think it was healthy for her to imagine being ravished by strangers. She had felt quite self-conscious when she said that didn’t really happen to her and his response was that wasn’t it a good thing that she would be regularly ravished in future then.

She smiled to herself. Yes, it would probably be fun, more fun than looking forward to a bath, though she would probably still love baths. There was something so decadent about using so much water when in other parts of the world the just wasn’t possible. She yawned and checked phone. There was a message from Robert “do you mind if I look for places near central London?” She replied ‘no’. He was quite serious about this. He didn’t have the most fulfilling job so did sort of make sense.

Her eyes wanted to close but her stop was just seconds away now. She would try launch kids’ movies clubs if the experiment happened. It was good to sing. She wondered if she would still be able to go to the a cappella group on Thursdays. They would actually be enough of them to have their own a cappella group- she couldn’t imagine that quite. So many mysteries ahead.

She was home and it had stopped raining. She would have tea and that bath and try developing her fantasy life. She would just have to see how that went. Tomorrow she would drink cocktails with her friends but till then she was on her own for a few hours. It didn’t disjoint her any more to relax. She had realised it was important as being busy the whole time was a symptom of modern life. The only thing she was missing was a cat to stroke. Maybe they would find a stray one-day.

Robert was feeling wired but also quite depressed. He had spent most of his spare time that day getting in touch with old friends who used to squat. It seemed all of them were not squatting any more except for Ian who was living in a squat in Liverpool with an 18-year-old girlfriend. Ian had gone on about how hard it was getting more difficult to squat because of the growth in property guardians. He hadn’t been able to stop himself and had told Ian about the experiment. Ian had laughed and said it would be good for him not to do a bullshit job for change. That’s why he knew he could tell Ian, he wouldn’t be scandalised in the least.

They had talked about the power it could have and Ian had agreed to be a consultant for interesting content. Ian made lists of things and could make instruments out of pretty much anything. He would think of interesting TV friendly things to do- though he said- it doesn’t get much better than potato prints. He just knew how to take everything with a pinch of salt.

He had also given him the contact of Curtis who he said would know what buildings could be used in central London. Curtis was more of the European school where you fixed where you stayed, or at least looked after it, and that was the kind of thing they needed. Cheap but legal.

He had set up a meeting with Curtis for next Saturday in the hope Luke and Roo would be able to come. He had to admit to himself that it was a little confusing to him being so interested in something that had to do so much with sex. It was as though he was turned on by the idea of the chaos of it all.

Maybe it was time we started thinking about the past and working through it. Maybe it was time to see a psychoanalyst or therapist to talk about his feelings. He was going to turn 40 next year and Ian was right, he had just been doing bullshit jobs lately.

He could afford to have some kind of therapy because he was always saving money. He didn’t know why he was always saving money because he didn’t have a family to support and found going on holidays bourgeois. He had done enough travelling when he was filming war correspondence and that had always been excruciating travelling.

That wasn’t really a bullshit job, but a lot of that work had dried up. It was also really frustrating work to do because it always got framed in a certain way which didn’t blame big business or the general warmongering mentality of the elites. He remembered being stuck in Beirut in a follow-up documentary and just noticing how brittle the people were. War was exhausting, it made nihilists of everyone including the generals. He had wanted to visit cedar forests when he was there but found out they had mainly been chopped down years before. So much for myths.

Now he just did a soul deadening job of filming anchors most days and would do documentaries which never really got any circulation in his holidays. He started crossing the road and heard someone shout at him before realising a motorbike was on a collision course with him.

He dodged and the bike soon passed. He felt embarrassed and carried on crossing the road, looking back at the people who had shouted with a sheepish apologetic grin. He needed to wake up and stop running. His life wasn’t hollow quite, but he definitely felt disposable. The wind was changing direction though. There was a lot of potential with the experiment, but he should really see a therapist.

He crossed the road, carefully this time, and realised he would have to find a therapist that was based in reality. He couldn’t abide all this woo-woo talk about symbolism and self-fulfilment while the planet burned. He also needed some assistance. Maybe one of those eco therapists was the best bet. He would be able to talk about his feelings if he was surrounded by trees and not in a stark contemporary consulting room. It was time. Now for dinner.

Luke was feeling exhausted. It was a familiar feeling as the rota was always done in a way which left you clinging onto the wire with every fibre of your body. He would have a few days off now to recover and get back into a normal sleeping pattern, but he knew that there was something about all the stresses of being a paramedic which was making him feel more like a prototype bionic man then a human.

He had always wanted to work in war zones and had for a few years. That was where he had met Robert. He had spoken French, so he had been in the chaos of Haiti as well and watch with the fathomless silence as the women made cakes of mud to eat and sell.

He also could speak Arabic so he had also done a few stints in those areas. When he reached this point in the Rota, it always came flooding back to him, all the hopelessness of the undeveloped world. It was as though there real life was happening all the time, and here, in the postcolonial bubble of wealth, people had to pretend to live their lives. It never stopped, the swirling of aspirant celebrity in graded friendships, while food is left to rot.

He wanted to prop his eyes open matchsticks, as no matter how strong the coffee was, it couldn’t keep him awake after covering shifts because they weren’t allowed to hire agency staff anymore because of the cuts. There was a text message on his phone. ‘Hello love kiss on the cheek. There is stew for you when you finished. Robert is getting really serious about the experiment and wants us to meet this person. The bed is too big without you :-) XOXO’

Luke felt the tingle of love run down his spine and surge to his fingertips. He was missing her too and if she was messaging it meant that a shift must be almost done and yes it was a really after 11 and he was going home at one today because of health and safety regulations.

A few days of just resting would be wonderful. He wondered who this person was that Robert had ferreted out. He knew the show would probably get censored in some form, but he knew Roo would take the cameras to Haiti and show how much care was taken to make biscuits or cakes or whatever you want to call them from mud.

He also knew she could be shy and that would work on camera. He ran his hand over his jaw and realise he didn’t really care if he worked on camera. Roo didn’t mind when he got stubble. She had even said was that she would like to know what it would be like to be pleasured by him with a beard.

He smiled to himself. “The missus is all right then is she Luke?” Ronnie said.

“Yes she’s all right thanks. You poor sods have the whole night to still get through.”

“Some of us poor sods know how to say no to extra shifts though mate”

“True, true- I never was very good at learning how to say no to the boss”

“Aye, and you have a las you daren’t lose”

Ronnie nodded seriously after Joe said that.

“Don’t you worry lads! We have a plan cooking and then hopefully I can just work part-time.”

“If you say so, if you say so.”

0 notes

july-19th-club · 2 years ago

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the thing about loras tyrell is that he’s a stuck-up trust fund olympic fencer with a sort of hard-to-find sweet side and a face like he is always absolutely disgusted with you even when he’s not, and the love of his life is the nice-enough but incredibly naive spare heir to a corrupt mediterranean country who is always about ten seconds away from getting shot by his family’s connections in the mob for being An Inconvenience. these are positives to me though

#like that's what the pairing is all about #the modern au is like one of those trashy steamy romance paperbacks where they need plot between the sex so they have somebody be wealthy a #and somebody else be refreshingly plucky and innocent. except they're both wealthy-in-trouble and neither of them are plucky or innocent #selfish sheltered garbage men but they really do love each other #oh my god i had a brienne modern au once where she was an olympic fencer or . was it triathlon. either way that’s how they know each other #and he haaaaates her bc he’s good but she’ll always be better #and because his fiance likes her in a friendly way and they gang up on him to playfully flirt at events and dinners #also cause she’s tall and he’s an insecure little pissbaby lmao #he;s always like. why would my husband. a gay man. not be more into this giant impressive butch than me. another gay man #and he is right to be afraid of this lmao not because of renly specifically just because brienne IS better than him in every conceivable wa #ive never seen game of thrones #a tag never more appropriate to a shitpost than this!#epee to a gunfight

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sneezemonster15 · 2 years ago

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I once read a fic where sakura was written exactly in character and when she discovered n and s relationship she immediately got angry at naruto ( like I think she would in canon), but then some people started to flame the author about why are they writing sakura like that, like they're being too harsh on her.

So yeah, I think in some cases authors write H and S more likable so they don't upset anyone and get bullied.

Hmm it's plausible. However, writers usually write what rings true to them, what seems believable to them, otherwise it reads insincere and it shows in their writing. I can't say much in relation to fanfic writers given most of them aren't professional writers, they mostly just write for fun or self comfort.

What I do know for sure is that if one is sincerely writing a canonverse divorce SNS fic in Boruto era, one has to pay attention to the granular nuances that Kishi himself so shrewdly wrote and drew himself in Gaiden and Boruto the movie. He insistently puts repeated emphasis on how Sasuke mindfully keeps physical and emotional distance from Sakura. Their relationship looks dysfunctional, stilted and forced. While Sakura still tries to establish/force intimacy with Sasuke like usual, he still consistently keeps her at a distance, even now when they are married and have a child together, to the point he doesn't even know what his own daughter looks like. Sarada suspects her own mother is hiding something from her about her own father. Kishi succeeded to do one thing that he definitely wanted to achieve with Gaiden. To create doubt, suspicion. To make SS look shady and phoney. Because it just wouldn't have been in character for Sasuke to be happy or content in this sham of a marriage. Because he is a gay man stuck in a het marriage with a woman he doesn't like or respect. He is unhappy and displeased to see her, doesn't even crack a smile, hasn't seen her in years btw. They talk to each other in such a cosmetic manner, calling each other my husband and my wife. Never kissed, to Sakura's great dismay. Does this look like a dynamic that would facilitate Sasuke canoodling casually with Sakura?

Kishimoto insistently shows Naruto idle away his time at his office, counting headbands, even when there's nothing significant keeping him there. Like he purposely doesn't wanna go back home. He sends his clones to attend important ocassions with his family. But for Sasuke, he is always, always there in person. He sleeps anywhere but in his own master bedroom he shares with Hinata. His wife knows nothing worthwhile about him that she can tell to comfort her son about his own father. Instead, Kishi makes Sasuke satisfy Boruto's curiosity that Hinata wasn't able to. Naruto thinks of Sasuke when receiving the love bento and not Hinata who made it for him. His own son reminds him of Sasuke and not his spouse who birthed him.

Both these families are pointedly portrayed as highly dysfunctional. The husbands aren't there more than 90 percent of the time, the women know nothing of worth about their husbands. Sakura doesn't even know if Sasuke wears glasses. They have been married for over 12 years, happy families who have been together for such a long time don't behave like this. Naruto and Sasuke look perennially tired, wretched, and downright miserable.

If two gay men were forced by circumstances to keep appearances, by being married to entitled and self absorbed women they have no love for, wouldn't this be exactly how they would behave? These women who were only motivated by what the boys represent and not by who they really are. Hinata and Sakura don't know their own husbands. And it's in character for both of them. A spouse who wants to possess their object of desire without any concern for anyone but their own selves, wouldn't they behave exactly like Sakura and Hinata? They would.

And thing is, when the boys are with each other, they clearly look like their older selves. Spirited, lit up. Happy. Never with their families.

When writing a divorce SNS fic, one has to at least try to write a believable narrative. And no one has to even look anywhere else, just look to Kishi, he has already given us a lot of material to judge and interpret the characters the way it would be, realistic, believable. Kishi's writing rings true.

Naruto and Sasuke are akin to two outsiders living in a world that doesn't or wouldn't acknowledge their truth. A world where they can't be their true selves. An unfair and prejudiced world. A reflection of the real world as understood by Kishi. Naruto and Sasuke are driven to live in the shadows, having secret meetings. So if one decides to write a fic where they are made to officially unite, they will need to acknowledge the reality of world that had been stopping them until now. Hinata and Sakura are not only part of this world, but are also complicit in Naruto and Sasuke's suffering. So if one wants to portray a narrative that culminates into Naruto and Sasuke taking a stand against the world that had been the reason they were apart till now, then one will need to portray this world in character, including Hinata and Sakura. Otherwise, the narrative will not only not ring true, it will be disrespectful and unjust to Naruto and Sasuke's characters.

And then and only then, will their union look justifiably and accurately portrayed. If Kishi's worldbuilding depicts Konoha to be unsupportive of same sex relationships, and Naruto and Sasuke are a part of this world, then one will have to develop the narrative accordingly to justify their official union. If you write this world, which includes Hinata and Sakura, out of character, then you aren't really doing justice to SNS canon narrative, nor to Sasuke and Naruto's own characters.

Before anyone leaves some whiny, non-sense comment or remark about subjective interpretation on this post, please know that I don't have the energy nor the patience to deal with such comments kindly. Please really think about what I am saying. Deconstruct canon narrative, peel the layers, see what lies underneath. The issue I am talking about is bigger than some sorry ass fic. If you don't depict the challenges and conflicts of the characters in a well rounded way, you will never be able to write a believable or just narrative. Characters are not written in abstraction, they don't come out of oblivion. They are shaped by their surroundings, people around them, their world's weltenschaung, their accepted way of life, a certain philosophy, a belief system. Without taking that into account and building the narrative accordingly, one simply can't write a story or characters that ring true. And Kishi KNOWS this, given he is a master writer. Look to him, be guided by him, if one can't figure it out by themselves. Do your due diligence. Put some effort and understanding in it. Watch other gay media for research, see how these dysfunctional relationships are portrayed. Try and stay true to gay narratives, establish the gay characters' conflict, their struggles, their compromises, their woes, their bitterness with respect to the world they live in. If you wanna write a fic that does justice to SNS and Sasuke and Naruto's characters ie.

#ask #sns #sasunaru #narusasu #fic #naruto #sasuke #gaiden #boruto the movie #anti boruto #anti nh #anti ss

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sadboysimps · 3 years ago

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𝐉𝐉𝐊 | 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐱 𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 | 𝑵𝑨𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑰 𝑲𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑶 - 𝑭𝑼𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑮𝑼𝑹𝑶 𝑴𝑬𝑮𝑼𝑴𝑰 - 𝑰𝑻𝑨𝑫𝑶𝑹𝑰 𝒀𝑼𝑱𝑰 | (𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒔 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾)

So these are pretty basic and nothing special. Lot of switching, except with Nanami. And once again, these are my thoughts and how I see the characters and decided to write them in this post. (Because honestly, they could always be the opposite too.)

Genre- Fluff, Smut

CONTENT WARNINGS ! : one time ‘cross dressing’, slight angsty stuff cos Megumi is sad boi™, mentions of rough sex Can’t think of anything else, if there is something I should add please tell me!

All characters and reader are 18 or older!

Male!Reader, AMAB

Minors pretty fkn please Do Not Interact with posts or blog ok? :D

𝑵𝑨𝑵𝑨𝑴𝑰 𝑲𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑶

Dream husband material ™

Romantic dinners so often. Yes, he is busy but the chances of him using his last energy after long hard day to cook you dinner and making it romantic.

Does often end up with takeout from fancy restaurants or your cooking.

Passionate kisses!!!

Showers together

Nanami will use any chance he can to do things together.

Man looks like he has never heard of humor 💀, but your anniversary gift is a soft pink apron and 50’s style costume dress (Gojo made him)

Because one wine filled night you both joked about how you are almost like a housewifehusband

That anniversary night was also wine filled, you ended up wearing it and he bend you over a kitchen counter and fucked you 😳

So yeah, he is a top, and a dom

You probably can convince him to bottom few times (after some wine, this man is so dense istg)

He enjoys it, I mean you’re hitting his prostate and pumping your hand around his cock for many orgasms to come, how could he not?

Also did enjoy all the pleasure without doing any work

Still prefers topping and having full control

His de-stressing is pounding your ass

Not too big on cock sucking but anything to draw pretty moans and grunts out of his lover

But will make you gag on his cock

Loves holding on to your hips when hitting it from behind and your sides when in missionary making love

If it’s very late or you two don’t have that much time to prep you he likes to give you hand job and/or have one finger delivering a prostate orgasm for you, while you are sucking his cock, during or after.

Loves having his hand on your cock more than he is willing to admit

It came to him as a big surprise when he fell for you, and was nervous about his sexuality

Man was scared of what if he isn’t into gay sex??? He wanted to date and be with you and of course have sex, but with another man was such a new concept for him

Quick learner tho, takes his time prepping you even if he is in hurry to stick it in

He wasn’t actually very worried about what other people would think about him dating a man, Nanami's worries only include not working overtime and your happiness

𝑭𝑼𝑺𝑯𝑰𝑮𝑼𝑹𝑶 𝑴𝑬𝑮𝑼𝑴𝑰

The boy was shook when he realized he liked you, more than as a friend

And he almost had a nose bleed when he saw you lift your top and swipe the sweat of your face after your work out 😌

Megumi’s eyes were glued to your sweaty abdomen and fantasies flooding his head

One night you two were hanging in his room, just chillin’

“So uh... You’re uh... Gay right?” Omg he felt so dumb, worst way to this convo

“Yeah haha. I guess it’s kind of obvious lol”

Mhhmm yea everyone knew that, why is he asking...

He proceeds to stumble his words as he asks how you realized you liked guys. You explained, chuckling every once in a while, when he went ‘aha’, ‘mhmm’, ‘ookay’...

Then you asked why is he asking you and he went red

“Do you like a guy?” You were being genuine, but in his mind, you were smirking in a teasing way

“Uhm... I-I'm not s-sure...” Boy he is n e r v o u s.

“How does it feel to kiss a guy? Is it much different?” Cha cha real smooth ‘Gumi

“Well... *actual smirk* It’s different for everyone. So uh, haha if you wanna try... I’m up for it.” Cha cha real smooth Y/N

He nods, but is looking down on his lap, until you softly pull his face to yours by fingers on his jaw.

It was soft quick lips touching, and you pulled away a bit, not wanting to overwhelm him.

“That was a peck, not a kiss...” Megumi mumbled with eyes on his lap again and cheeks red

“Wellh...” You huffed and smiled and cupped his jaw, his lips conveniently slightly parted and properly kissed him

He responded to the kiss surprisingly fast

And you knew who his crush was at that moment

So you kissed that night few more times and kind of wordlessly decided to be together to see if it works

And it does

Asks to keep your relationship down low first and fears you think he is ashamed of being with you/guy

But you understand him cos you’ve probably been there

Switcherino, he isn’t sure what he prefers and is first awkward with penetration either way, so at the start it was lot of hand jobs, frotting and blow jobs (took him time to get used to having dick in his mouth)

Low sex drive, he just isn’t feeling it that often

You don’t really have dom/sub going on, even when the sex is on rougher side.

Shy Megumi™

Has hard time making eye contact until like half way when the pleasure is really taking over and it’s really just the two of you being one

Neck kisses, both ways

Omg he is so pretty being a bottom, would be sad to take him from behind since you couldn’t see his face

Tho he probs hides it anyway, but pepper kissed on whatever skin is available closest to his face and he is gonna come for those lips on his

When he gets more comfortable with the relationship he starts sitting and standing closer to you in public

Won’t get angry or super flustered of forehead or cheek kisses (both ways)

Mostly big spoon in any cuddle situation, unless he is very tired or has the sads (which is often tbh), will rest his head on your chest

Scared of losing you 102% of the time

You’re his anchor from anxiety and depression

Kind of dependent of you because of that

You’re the light of his life ♥

𝑰𝑻𝑨𝑫𝑶𝑹𝑰 𝒀𝑼𝑱𝑰

Dull moments? Never heard of them.

Adorable af

Cute dates so often, cozy coffee shops, small bakeries with your favorite sweets!

Playful clingy, to the point people think you’re just a couple of lifetime best friends

Until Yuji showers your face with kisses that is

“I loooveee youu, Y/N-chan~”

Sometimes accompanied by kisses between each word

Usually, his kisses are cute pecks on your lips or face in public

But when alone his kisses are more sort of ‘Lemme eat your face’ lmao

Will introduce you as his lovely best boyfriend anyone could ever have to everyone, to the point it gets embarrassing

Yikes Gojo picked up on that 🙄

He put a paper on your pack reading “Yuji’s lovely best boyfriend anyone could ever have L/N”

Eventually you got upset about it and Yuji confronted Gojo about it

So only your boyfriend can say that

Might not use nicknames that much in public (unless he is feeling sweeter than normal) and more often just says Y/N-chan in super cutesy way

Has creative nicknames when he uses them around others tho

Fff can't think of any, but you all know Yujis got some funny shit thought up

You know those cute simple bracelets with letter beads?

Matching ones with each other's names

Asking Nobara to take cute pics of you two

Gojo does that without asking already (rude but not complaining) 🤨🤔

So if you all have been somewhere together, except bunch of pictures of you and Yuji being sent at the end of the day

Will beg Gojo to let him take you everywhere

Except missions, he will keep you away from any dangers

But if you are a sorcerer, won’t let you go alone

Playfully bites your fingers and silence ensues

You’re just looking at him like 🤨 “Not sure if to laugh or what”

Thinks you’re offended until you crack and start laughing your ass off

Sukuna in him like 😐😑 “fuk u both”

Aaand to the part most of y’all been waiting for hahhaa

He seems kinda innocent, not in “oblivious to sex” kind of way but in general

Oh boyyyy....

He isn’t the kinkiest fucker around, but he’s got some drive in him

Often jerk off because doesn’t want to bother you

And you tell him that he is more than welcome to ask you for help

Embarrassed about his sex drive tbh

Switching a lot. Depending on how you like it

Yuji wants to try everything so

Just like with Megumi, there’s not that obvious dom/sub dynamic going on, but it’s more evident than with ‘gumi

Once again it depends on what you like

Loves pounding into you and also loves you abusing his prostate

Sucker for your fingers in his ass and mouth on his cock

Bit shy at first so he was selfless and focused on your pleasure (either way)

But eventually started taking hold of your hair and guiding your lips around his shaft

Throaty whines (???)

Loud af breathing with loud moans escaping

Morning sex

Before sleep sex

Most likely somewhere in middle of the day sex if both of you have time

Fucking a cocksleeve together

Hickeys all over the chest for both of you

Loves being praised and loves praising you

Hand holding during sexual activities

Relationship with him is just amazing and makes for the cutest Instagram stories and posts

He doesn’t give a fuck that you are a guy. If some hater comes running his mouth at you two he will just tilt his head to the side and look at the person as if they’re speaking foreigner language

Then kiss you and walk away with hand holding yours

Oh by the way, ruffle his hair, will lean on you and tell you he loves you (for the millionth time that day)

Do not re-post, copy or translate on any site. Re-blogging (or sharing link to) this post is allowed and appreciated tho.

Oh my this is just a huge mess, written on many different days.

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