#he wrote what he needed to write and i think he wrote it well!

[networklovemp3]

3:33am ⏾

joshua x (gn) reader tags: 18+ MDNI, light smut, not super explicit (m.) masturbation scene, used panties, fluff, silly sweetest of all time shua word count: 1.78k words an: my first time writing and posting something smutty!! please be nice and lmk how it is, i wrote this way too late at night but tried my best to edit it. likes and rbs and any other timestamp thoughts/requests are appreciated! i'd love to write more!! <3

after you both fell asleep earlier than usual, joshua wakes up in the middle of the night, mouth dry and feeling hot everywhere. there's a terrible ache in him, a want, a need, but he looks to his side and sees you're sleeping soundly one pillow over.

sighing a frustrated but quiet breath, joshua knows himself enough to know he won't willingly wake you from your sleep that you desperately needed. instead, he carefully peels himself away from you and the bed, and heads for the bathroom across the room. the door barely clicks shut, one of your night lights glowing on the wall, and he is alone to deal with himself.

joshua thinks about calming himself down so he can just go back to bed. he thinks about distracting himself. he thinks he should have better self control than this. he thinks about taking a cold shower, if only he could without waking you up. he thinks about you. he thinks about you. your warm skin back in bed, the way you snuggled into him before falling asleep, one of his t-shirts hanging off your shoulders... fuck.

so maybe the self control thing isn't working for him. he might as well get this over with as quickly as possible before you wake up and start to wonder where he is. he's already reached past his boxers and has one hand on himself, the other white-knuckled on the counter, when he spots the laundry basket in the corner of the bathroom.

he knows it's kind of gross, and probably disrespectful on some level, but before his blood can reach his brain to think it through joshua has your silky blue underwear in his hand and then wrapped around himself. it's so cooling and soft and smells like you and... oh. he presses his lips together to contain the noises that wish to escape and squeezes his eyes closed so tight they almost hurt.

it feels so, so good and he was already so pent up that the race ends almost as quickly as it starts, finishing all over the blue fabric as he fights for any sense of control. after his muscles start to relax, joshua allows himself a minute to control his breathing and to clean himself off, then he's rushing to get back into bed with you. he slips under the covers, this time wrapping himself against your back with much more relief settled into his bones.

"...shua?" he hears you murmur and his heart stutters with a brief flash of irrational panic. "i'm sorry, baby, did i wake you?" joshua places a soft kiss on your neck, trying to calm himself down. you sigh at the sweet brush of his lips, turning around to blearily blink up at him once, twice, three times. "no, just felt you coming back to bed," you whisper back to him. he presses another kiss to your forehead, and one on your nose, and you smile up at him so warmly.

you're placing your head back on his chest and sliding your hand innocently down his bare waist and across his stomach when joshua catches his breath involuntarily, still sensitive enough from moments ago when your fingers glide just above his waistband. suddenly, your eyes are shooting back up at him with an accusatory and confused look. "what did you do?" you ask, and joshua closes his eyes for a moment.

"i..."

"you just jerked off, didn't you!" you breath out all at once. "how could you possible know that!" joshua stares back at you in shock, doe eyes wide in the dark. "i know you only jump in your skin like that when i touch you after you've just finished," you roll your eyes knowingly, "now why did you do it without me?"

"i didn't want to wake you, you were so tired earlier. i just took care of it quickly by myself." he explains gently, but you still pout up at him. "i wouldn't have cared, shua, seriously, you can just wake me up next time. i wish you had." you place your hands gently on his shoulders. "oh... do you want me to....?" misunderstanding you, his eyes trail downwards meaningfully, with that concerned crease you love between his scrunched eyebrows.

"no, joshua, not right now," you sigh in affectionate exasperation, "sometimes... sometimes, i just want the opportunity to please you."

"you do please me though, like, all the time?" he blinks at you, still in confusion. "i know, i just mean... i mean pleasing you and that's it. sometimes i just want my boyfriend's dick in my mouth and that's all!" breathing out the last part all at once, you realize you had been keeping that thought in for quite a while. after all, you really do enjoy pleasing him.

"oh, um, i.... didn't know that's something you wanted," joshua looks utterly taken aback that you'd been wanting that, and that he has played a part in keeping it from you. after a pause, he smiles a slow, sinister smile down at you. "i think we can manage to arrange that in the future though, if it's what you really want."

you smile back at him and nod, feeling pleased to be on the same page finally. he pulls you close to him again and you both melt back into a comfortable, if slightly charged, silence. it doesn't last long before you think of something else.

"were you thinking of me, before, in the bathroom?" you whisper shyly into the base of his neck. you can tell he's smiling when he responds, "yes, of course. i'm always thinking of you. actually... i might've used your panties to help me out too."

the gasp you let out is playful, and you try to pull back to look at him again but he stops you in his tight hold. "i didn't know you were dirty like that, shua!" you tease, and joshua can feel his ears are turning cherry red. "you don't think it's kind of... weird and gross?"

"no, to be honest, it's kind of really hot... maybe along with my idea you should let me watch sometime..." you trail off in thought, and joshua lets out a strangled groan above you as if you physically harmed him.

before you know it, the entire conversation is being laughed off with many future acts in mind, and the two of you slip back into sleep before the sun rises.

[lynhub]

࿐all i see is you ྀft. d.w 18+

⋆˚࿔entry from lyn.ᐟ this was heavily indulgent because im obsessed with tunnel vision from justin timberlake. i also love a man who yearns so i had to write this while it was fresh in my brain!!! i literally listened to the song the entire time i wrote this that's how obsessed i am with it. also it's been awhile since i wrote something so long so if it's bad oopsies i didn't even bother proof reading, but i hope you guys enjoy. ━love, lyn.ᐟ ⋆˚࿔overview ━ dean find's himself hung up on you. everyone and everything disappearing as long as your in the room with him. (not the best at writing summaries sorry.) ⋆˚࿔warnings ━ smut of course essentially PWP cause i never not write smut hello?? so minors dont interact. minor fingering not really, oral (fem receiving) and then piv.... yearning dean winchester if that counts! i think that's all? if im forgetting anything let me know!!

wordcount: 2.6k

it felt like there were a million people in the crowded bar, voices sounding out over the clinking glasses and low music — but his focus never shifted. it was on you. his feelings weren’t new — maybe more intense lately — but now? now it was like you were all he saw. what seemed like a meaningless crack in his playboy facade was so much more. the walls he spent his entire life building are beginning to crumble, brick by brick, and somewhere inside them laid his heart. the same heart he’s learned to guard like his life depended on it. maybe it did. that’s just part of the job. and yet, it hasn’t stopped you — from slipping past every defense, carving out a space in his world, his brother’s life as well. 

and maybe it’s damn him, but he let you.

he’s been breaking every single rule since you met. 

he couldn’t seem to bring himself to care. not when it’s you. not with the way you treat him and sammy so gently after hunts, patching them up with steady hands and reassurances. not with the way you managed to bring out that warm fuzzy feeling in his stomach — the ones he used to swear were bullshit. he knew he was in deep. hell, he knew that. but for the first time in his entire life, he couldn’t bring himself to care. and it was beginning to become clear to him.

because as soon as your gaze met his — a smile on that obnoxiously gorgeous face — something in his heart fluttered. maybe it stopped for a second, he wasn’t sure. one thing he was for sure about though, he needed you to always look at him like that. as if he quite literally hung the damn moon and stars in the sky for you. as if he created that cheesy rom com that you always rewatched, the one you always randomly quoted when convenient. 

he needed you to be happy so he could see that smile on your face, the one that seemed to brighten any room you walked into. he needed you. bad at that. 

and he was willing to do just about anything to have you.

dean’s gaze reluctantly breaks away from you, turning to glance around the packed bar. it was a friday night so it wasn’t a surprise to see what kind of people ended up strolling through the doors — loud laughter, random conversations, a healthy mix of men and women loitering through the dim atmosphere. his gaze moved across the other patrons' faces, but for some reason it was like their features blurred. he couldn’t even pretend to act interested in the other women currently checking him out. they might as well not even exist.

it’s like his gaze is being dragged back to you, practically pulled by some invisible force he didn’t have the strength — or the will really — to fight. his eyes settling on your form, clad in those too-tight jeans and black tank top. it was casual, but it was the hottest damn thing he’s ever seen.

you must’ve been able to feel his eyes on you, not a minute later, you were turning to face him again. this time rather than turning away, you push off the bar and weave through the crowd, a drink in hand, a little smile playing at the corner of your lips. dean did what he could to mask his expression into something more neutral, something that didn’t look completely entranced with the sight of you walking towards him. but the sway of your hips had him trying to bite back a groan. 

“see something you like, dean?” you asked, sliding onto the seat next to him, your voice an obvious jest. 

dean only huffed out a quiet laugh, eyes flicking over you briefly before settling back on your face. “you were the one standin’ in my line of sight.”

“is that what you are going with?” you take a sip of your drink, not breaking eye contact. “im pretty positive you’ve been staring at me since i got here. nice try though.”

he tilts his head, lips twitching into a faint smirk. “what if i have?”

you leaned in a little, close enough that he could smell your perfume — something sweet and warm and so goddamn you. “i guess it’s a good thing that i don’t mind you looking.”

dean’s throat bobbed as he swallowed, jaw flexing as if he was holding back from saying everything he was thinking. 

god help him, but if you stayed this close, he wasn’t going to be responsible for what happens next.

you can’t help but smile at him again, it’s like you're reading his thoughts. “you look like you got a lot on your mind,” you said, your grin widening, “which is… shocking for you.”

dean's jaw visibly tightens. this goddamn woman. only you could manage to draw him in and push his buttons at the same time. “real funny, sweetheart.”

you can’t fight off the laugh, head tipping back at his reaction. “you are awfully tense tonight,” you snicker, eyes dancing with amusement.

dean shifts around on the bar stool, his body rigid, jaw tight. you had him practically backed into a corner without even realizing it — just a few words, a grin, and that fucking laugh. he rolls his shoulders, trying to play it cool, but the tension in his body is humming. his knee bouncing restlessly. “you ever think that maybe it’s your fault i’m tense?” he huffs, eyes not leaving you. 

you raise your brows at him, feigning innocence as you take a sip of your drink. “me?” you prod, lips quirking as if you knew the answer. “can’t imagine why i’d have anything to do with that.”

dean let out a scoff, the sound more of a breath than laugh. he knew that you were baiting him and damn it was working. it worked every time. you didn’t even have to try, and he was spiraling. 

“i think you might be projecting, winchester,” you say, head tilting slightly, eyes locked on his.

something in him snaps. it’s like a floodgate opens, before you can even react, he’s leaning forward — closer, gaze zeroed in on you like you’re the only thing in the room. “i don’t know what you’re doin’ to me,” he mutters, his voice low and rough, like it’s a struggle to speak for him. “but i got like fuckin’ tunnel vision for you or somethin’.”

silence hangs heavy between you, his words permeating through the air. they’re intense, full of conviction, and you let them settle between you two. your eyes are searching for a hint of deception — but all you see is a jumble of emotion you’ve never seen before. or maybe you just hadn’t let yourself look.

dean fucking winchester is sitting here, telling you that all he sees is you.

it feels like time slows down. 

now it’s dean’s eyes searching your face, trying to gauge any kind reaction. in this very moment, the cocky persona is gone — peeled off and thrown to the side as if it is armor that no longer fits. embarrassment settles in, worry and almost fear painting his face like he’s said too much. like he just crossed some invisible line that he won’t be able to step back over. thoughts whirl in his mind like a damn tornado, it’s messy and panicked, but louder than all of them is a desperate hope — for a mutual feeling.

your breath catches in your throat, as acknowledgment begins to simmer in your mind. it’s like something you’ve known deep down is finally rising to the surface. your hand reaches out, gentle and unrushed, fingers brushing against his resting on the bar. it’s a small touch, but to dean it means everything. 

“i see you, dean,” your voice is quiet but strong, the corners of your mouth lifting slightly. “i have for a while now.”

his eyes snap back up to yours, and for the first time since he saw you enter the bar tonight, there’s no tension in them — just something akin to affection. 

he doesn’t say anything for a moment.

he just stares at you for a second — like he’s trying to commit everything to memory — suddenly, his hand moves. it’s quick, resolute, like he no longer has hesitation in him anymore after hearing you confirm what he needed to hear. his palm slides along your jaw, tilting you face up, his lips pressing against yours. 

it’s not a soft kiss. nor is it a cautious kiss. it’s the kind of kiss that’s been bubbling for months — all heat and desperation, a low rumble in his chest as he finally feels himself let go. his other hand moves to grip your hip, like he’s trying to keep you in place so you don’t disappear. almost like a reminder that you’re real. 

you kiss him back, matching his intensity, fingers curling into the front of his leather jacket. your mind focused solely on dean, on how good this kiss feels — how right it feels.  

you’re the first to pull back from the heated kiss, dean’s lips chasing yours. your breathing is ragged as you manage to pant out words.

“maybe we should go somewhere else,” you murmur, voice barely above a whisper, eyes dancing around the crowded bar. a blaring reminder you both are in public. 

dean’s green eyes are dark, pupils blown wide, his chest rising and falling quickly. “yeah,” he rasps. “we definitely should.”

you don’t share anymore words — he grabs your hand and pulls you through the crowd, letting yourself be led out the door and into the cool night. the impala’s parked far enough away, waiting in the dark as if it knows what’s about to happen. 

rather than opening the passenger door, the back door is the one being hastily opened. as soon as you get in his lips are back on yours, his hands moving to explore your body, his actions greedy. he presses you back against the seat, one of his hands sliding under your shirt — he’s desperate to touch your bare skin. 

“you have no idea what you do to me, sweetheart,” he mutters out, his lips pressing against the column of your neck. 

you can take a guess of what you are doing to him. 

“been thinkin’ about this,” he whispers, voice gravelly and thick as he pulls your tank top over your head. “about you. about how goddamn good i know you’d feel.”

you tug at his belt, fingers fumbling clumsily, your urgency not missed as he huffs a breath against your neck – a sound resembling a groan and laugh. “easy, sweetheart,” he teases, but it’s not fully there, he’s just as desperate, pulling at your jeans roughly. 

dean pulls back slightly to look at you, his eyes dark, lips swollen and darker from kissing, his voice hoarse when he speaks.

“wanna taste you,” he says, it’s practically a moan, almost like he’s already imagining it. “been wantin’ to for so goddamn long. please, sweetheart, can i?”

your eyes look up at his face, you breath hitching as you take in his expression — there’s no teasing — just pure desire. you give him a nod, permission for him to continue.

he slides down on the seat between your legs, not wasting a second as he fully tugs down your jeans and panties. the cool air brushing against your skin before his mouth replaces it, his mouth hot and persistent. his tongue flicks over you, going slow at first, wanting to hear the way your breath hitches for him. a deep groan leaves his mouth as if you’re the one ruining him, it’s like this is one of the only things he’s ever wanted. his hands grip your thighs, holding you open for him as his tongue moves with a purpose — exploration.

“fuck,” he mutters hoarsely against you, voice vibrating through your core. “you taste so fuckin’ good.”

he’s practically devouring you like a man starved, eyes occasionally darting up to watch how you fall apart for him. every moan, roll of your hips up against his mouth, just serves to make him more desperate. he slides one of his thick fingers inside of you while his tongue keeps working, curling just right, he’s becoming perfectly in tune with your body. 

and when your hand moves to fist in his hair, when your thighs finally start shaking around his head, he lets out another groan, reality setting in that he’s never been happier than between your thighs. 

you’re so close to the peak it’s almost unbearable — your hands tangling in his hair harder, hips grinding against his mouth as he pushes you closer and closer to that edge. 

“c’mon, sweetheart,” he murmurs against your slick folds, voice lower. “let go for me, i got you. wanna feel you come undone on my tongue.”

his filthy words are all it takes. 

your back arches off the seat as your orgasm crashes into you, it’s white-hot and blinding. a broken cry of his name falling from your lips, fingers pulling hard at his hair as he helps you ride it out, his tongue never ceasing his lapping actions against you — like he doesn’t want to stop. he holds you through it, letting your body shake beneath him, his gaze locked on your face like he wants to memorize it. 

finally you breathing begins to slow, your thighs trembling still and your body feeling like jello is when he finally pulls back. his mouth is slick, jaw clenched again, pupils still blown wide. he looks desperate.

“you’re fuckin’ lethal, you know that?” he grunts, moving up your body. he kisses you. it’s deep, as he lets you taste yourself on his tongue as he fumbles with his belt that you were unable to get off, tired of waiting. 

“you sure?” he asks, he’s barely hanging on, forehead pressing against yours, the gentleness of his question is a stark contrast from the way he’s practically humping against your thigh.

“yes,” you mumble. “please, dean.”

the whiny tone of your words is all he needs.

he pushes into you with a groan, slow yet thick and deep, filling you in a way that makes you both moan. his hands dig into your hips, holding you still as he starts moving, each thrust dedicated and needy.

“fuck,” he pants, dropping his head to your shoulder, voice tight with barely there restraint. “you feel so good… so fuckin’ good. been dreamin’ about you for so long now.”

you wrap your legs tightly around him, drawing him in deeper, eagerly meeting each thrust with a moan. his lips are pressing back to yours — the kiss sloppy —- as the pace picks up, skin slick with sweat while tangled limbs move in a desperate, needy rhythm. all the previous tensions, all the need, crashing over you both wave after wave. neither of you know where one ends and the other begins.

“gonna come,” he grunts, voice barely a whisper, his forehead pressing back against yours. “wanna come with you. need to feel you come around me, sweetheart.”

and you do, offering him what he wanted.

you tighten around him, clenching hard as your second orgasm of the night rips through you — this one louder and messier. dean follows closely behind, a guttural moan leaving the back of his throat, hips stuttering as he spills inside you, he’s still holding you close as if he’s afraid you will disappear. his body eventually collapses on top of you. 

you both lie there absolutely wrecked and exhausted. 

the air in the impala is heavy with heat and the scent of sex, the fogged windows offering a slight semblance of privacy as the adrenaline begins to fade. dean’s still nestled inside you, neither of you bothering to move. 

he knows there’s no coming back from this —- emotions running too deep, lines crossed.

he should care. he really should. 

but he doesn't. 

not when he’s got you now.

main masterlist | supernatural masterlist | dean winchester masterlist

[dawngyu]

i saw this right as i was getting ready for work and guess what… i rushed through everything like a maniac just so i could get my hands on it asap… asjdhjasdhh her i am pls (ps: i still have the playlist based on the songs you listed down ahhhhh i love them)

spoilers under the cut

Jungwon was half-distracted, mind somewhere else entirely, when the girl he barely remembered the name of tugged at his collar, lips finding the side of his neck. Her fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt, nails scraping lightly across his skin.

DIVORCE

Hell, he didn’t even plan on seeing her again. Jungwon didn’t do repeats.

WOW i know you warned us but </3 he's such a fboy ajsdjad

He should have walked away right then.

MENNNNNNN

okay??? i didn’t realize??? we’re starting out in his perspective??? ahhhh this couldn’t be more perfect adhsdhgds and how do you keep surprising me with your writing??? dear lord

“She’s pretty," she said, voice light, teasing. "Is that her?"

YES I AM MISS MAAM

She tilted her head, smiling like she knew something he didn’t. “The girl who rejected you during freshmen year. Jake told me.”

WAIT WHAT IS THIS LORE?

ughhh the way you write is so effortless and immersive, i love it so much. it genuinely feels like it’s all happening around me adsjakd i need to shut up before i fully embarrass myself with how much i adore you and your writing

Because for the first time in a long time, something actually fucking mattered. And he might have just ruined it before it even had the chance to start.

sir… u have a LOT of explaining to do.

wait this is so cute—the gummies??? looking back at the first part, it means so much more now. omg?? omg?? that tiny detail seriously squeezed my heart. alsooo, the banter?? chef’s kiss. reader is written so well, she’s such a girlboss and i love her sm.

Tuning out the rest of the world, unconsciously drawn to the sound of your laugh, the flash of your bag stuffed with books and candy, the easy way you moved through life like you weren’t trying to impress anyone.

this just melted my heart

Jake was courting you.

DAMN???????

jungwon is deep fr. like… he actually joined the club because of her?? adshahdgd this is showing such a different side of him compared to the first part and i’m obsesseddd. i love it so much.

"Yeah," another club member chimed in, dramatic as ever. "She said she's not ready for dating. Wants to focus on her studies first, plus she was thinking of running for the student council next year."

GIRL I LOVE HER SHE'S A CAREER WOMAN THEN

You looked relieved. Jake looked baffled.

Jungwon felt like something inside him cracked quietly open.

Raya feels her insides being twisted.

The morning Jungwon turned eighteen, the world stayed silent—for a moment.

THIS IS IT. THIS IS IT. SHURI HOLD MY HAND PLEASE.

And then bleeding in like a crack through the wall he heard it.

HE HEARD IT?

Blessing Activated: The ability to hear the thoughts of those you are conversing with.

OMG AHHHHH

And Jungwon had spent his whole life surrounded by that kind of duplicity. Family members who said "I'm proud of you" but thought "You better not ruin our name." Cousins who laughed over family dinners but secretly wished for each other's failures. An uncle who clapped him on the back and said "You’re lucky" while thinking "It should have been my son instead."

how heavy that must feel… sure, there are pros to being able to read someone’s mind—but as you wrote, the weight of it can be so isolating too. how do you even begin to tell someone, “hey, i know you were thinking the exact opposite”? asdhgdh it’s so complex. so messy. it’s a gift, but also a burden (in a way)

"Just get through this. Don’t let him see you melt like some idiot."

THE BUTTERFLIES I HAVE RN FOR THE MC'S THOUGHTS GOSH I'M HAVING SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT

“He’s not going to be your husband. No way. Watch me prove fate wrong.”

I SQUEALED. ASDUUDISG SHIT AUSDHA HOW ARE U DOING THIS?

He didn’t even realize he was grinning like an idiot until his reflection caught in the dark window. Quickly, he sobered, scolding himself but it was useless. That voice—your voice—echoed in his head with too much heat.

THIS IS CUTE AND I LOVE HIM SORRY FOR EVEN THINKING ABT DIVORCING U ASDDHIGSD

It might’ve been his favorite birthday yet. Because for the first time in a long time, he dreamed not of pressure, pleasure, or perfection, but of you.

And when morning came, groggy and golden through his window, the first thing that surfaced in his mind wasn’t the dread of responsibility.

It was you.

PEAK ROMANCE. i want these words tattooed on my body right now.

ahhhhh this got me so excited all over again—no, doubly excited. the way you reworked those scenes from his pov?? i seriously can’t get over how much i love your writing. my heart was racing the entire time. you did it again, my shuri. i cannot wait for the next part.

also this is me everytime i see you on my feed. i love u so bad ><

EIGHTEEN - YANG JUNGWON (PART II)

pairing: fboy!jungwon x reader summary: where on your 18th birthday, you receive a blessing that lets you see the future, only to find yourself married to jungwon, the college heartthrob you’ve barely spoken to, with a child calling you mom. genre: university / college au, soulmate au, fantasy, fluff, slight angst, love triangle, pining, slow burn word count: 4.8k playlist: 18 - one direction, stuck with u - ariana grande & justin bieber, you belong with me - ts, lavender haze - ts, wish that i could - umi, meddle about - chase atlantic A/N: forgive me if this part's a bit short. i promise to make it up to you in the next ones, hehe

masterlist.

This is a work of fiction. It does not represent real people, events, or systems. Any similarities are purely coincidental, and all elements are created for fantasy purposes only.

The drama club’s room smelled faintly of old velvet curtains and cheap perfume.

Jungwon was half-distracted, mind somewhere else entirely, when the girl he barely remembered the name of tugged at his collar, lips finding the side of his neck. Her fingers slipped under the hem of his shirt, nails scraping lightly across his skin.

He let her.

Only because he wanted to get this over with.

The only reason he even agreed to meet her again today was to retrieve his wallet. The one he stupidly left at her dorm last night. He didn’t even plan on staying longer than necessary. Hell, he didn’t even plan on seeing her again. Jungwon didn’t do repeats.

But when she leaned in too close, smirking against his ear and said, "At least let me give you an advanced birthday treat, babe," he froze.

He should have walked away right then.

Instead, when she kept pushing, fingers pulling at his belt loops, mouth chasing his, he kissed her. Hard. Too hard.

Just to shut her up.

A mistake.

A fucking mistake.

Because that’s when the door creaked open.

And everything inside him seized up.

Through the tangled mess of limbs and desperation, his eyes locked onto a figure standing stiff at the door.

You.

Wide-eyed. Frozen. Like you’d just witnessed a car crash you couldn’t look away from.

Fuck.

He pulled back like he’d been electrocuted, his breath catching sharp in his throat.

“Y/N?” he blurted, voice rough and broken.

You didn’t say anything.

Didn’t move.

Just turned too fast and disappeared down the hallway, footsteps fading like a nightmare.

The girl beside him clicked her tongue, smoothing down her skirt, unfazed. She leaned against the desk casually, fixing her lipstick in the reflection of a trophy case.

“She’s pretty," she said, voice light, teasing. "Is that her?"

Jungwon stared at her, still breathing hard. “What?”

She tilted her head, smiling like she knew something he didn’t. “The girl who rejected you during freshmen year. Jake told me.”

His fists clenched at his sides. He stared at her, a million unsaid things clawing up his throat.

“I wasn’t rejected,” Jungwon snapped, sharper than he meant to. “And Jake doesn’t have the right to say shit. He’s in the same fucking position.”

The girl only chuckled, slipping her phone back into her bag like she hadn’t just dropped a nuclear bomb and walked away.

Jungwon stood there for a long moment, the stale, suffocating air pressing down on him.

He had come here for a wallet.

He had stayed because he was stupid.

He kissed a girl he didn’t even like because he thought it didn’t matter.

But it mattered.

Because for the first time in a long time, something actually fucking mattered.

And he might have just ruined it before it even had the chance to start.

It started small.

The kind of thing you wouldn’t even notice unless you were paying attention.

There was a vending machine tucked beside the science hall. Old, humming, half-forgotten. Students barely used it unless they were desperate between classes. But Jungwon did. And he always bought the same thing: the yellow-pack gummy bears.

Soft, sweet, just the right chew.

Something about them tasted like how he imagined being a kid felt simple and untouched.

Except, lately, they were always gone.

He’d walk up between lectures, coins ready, tap the scratched glass — and nothing.

Every other snack untouched.

Every other candy still neatly stacked.

Just the yellow gummies, empty.

It pissed him off a little.

He even once smacked the side of the machine in frustration, earning a few weird glances from passing students. He ignored them, he had bigger problems.

One day, he was earlier than usual. The hallways were half-empty, the vending machine still blinking lazily in the corner. And there you were.

Crouched low, head tilted, tapping the glass thoughtfully like you were deep in negotiation with the machine. In your hand? Two packs of the yellow gummies.

And in your bag? He caught the flash of even more, at least three, four crammed into the front pocket like a guilty secret.

You turned, mid-stuffing the last pack into your bag. Eyes meeting. Both of you frozen.

He recognized you vaguely. Freshman orientation, Jake's friend, the girl who laughed at his jokes but never stuck around for long.

And now? Now you were the damn vending machine thief.

You blinked, the barest flicker of surprise crossing your face before you straightened up calmly, like you weren’t doing anything remotely suspicious. You were.

Jungwon crossed his arms, smirking before he could stop himself.

"Leave some for the rest of us, maybe?"

You shrugged, not even guilty. "Survival of the fittest."

He huffed out a laugh. "You're hoarding them."

"They're the best ones," you said simply, like it was obvious. "Supply and demand."

He shook his head, smiling despite himself. You were something else.

"I’ve been trying to buy those for a week," he said, mock offended.

"You should be faster," you replied, voice light, teasing, as you zipped your bag shut and slung it over your shoulder.

Before he could think of anything clever to say, you tossed one of the packs toward him. He caught it, stunned.

"Here," you said.

A peace offering.

Or maybe just a dare to keep up.

Then you walked away, steps light, disappearing down the hallway before he could ask your name.

He stood there for a second, the vending machine humming behind him, the yellow pack crinkling in his hand.

Slowly, he smiled.

He didn’t know much about you yet. Only that you liked the same gummy bears. And that you didn’t apologize for it.

But that tiny, stupid moment? It stuck. Burrowed somewhere he couldn't dig out later, no matter how many months passed.

And later, when people joked about how he must’ve had dozens of girls chasing after him, he just thought about you, walking away without a second glance, leaving him standing there like some idiot holding candy.

After that day at the vending machine, Jungwon started noticing you everywhere. At first, he told himself it was coincidence. The campus wasn’t that big. Maybe your paths just happened to cross. Maybe you just happened to sit two rows ahead of him in economics. Maybe you just happened to linger outside the drama clubroom, laughing too brightly with Sunoo.

But deep down, he knew the truth.

He was looking for you now.

Tuning out the rest of the world, unconsciously drawn to the sound of your laugh, the flash of your bag stuffed with books and candy, the easy way you moved through life like you weren’t trying to impress anyone.

And you never noticed him.

Not really.

You barely even glanced his way.

He almost gave up then, almost let himself believe it was just a vending machine moment, a glitch in the universe that wasn’t meant to last.

Until rumors started.

Jake was courting you.

Jake, the golden boy with the easy smiles and a trail of admirers.

Jake, who was somehow close to you already.

Jake, who could make anyone fall for him if he really wanted to.

Jungwon told himself it didn’t matter. He lied.

It hurt.

More than it should have.

A stupid, sour sting every time he saw Jake walking next to you, tossing you candies or making you laugh in that easy, infuriating way of his.

So Jungwon, idiot that he was, joined the drama club. “I need the extracurricular points," he told everyone. Nobody believed him.

Mostly, he stuck to backstage work, fixing broken chairs, painting sets, running errands Sunoo barked at him with terrifying efficiency.

You were always around, helping, organizing, laughing. Sometimes you sat cross-legged on the stage sorting costume jewelry into plastic bins. Sometimes you passed him a bottle of water without looking. He said thank you quietly every time and you never noticed.

But he stayed anyway.

Because being near you, even if you didn’t see him, felt better than nothing at all.

Then one afternoon, everything shifted again.

He was fixing a crooked light rig when Sunoo’s voice rang out through the dusty club office.

"Y/N turned Jake down yesterday." Loud. Blunt. No room for misunderstanding.

The room went quiet. Someone gasped. Someone else whistled low.

Jungwon tightened his grip on the wrench. Heart slamming. Mind racing.

You turned Jake down?

"Yeah," another club member chimed in, dramatic as ever. "She said she's not ready for dating. Wants to focus on her studies first, plus she was thinking of running for the student council next year."

Sunoo laughed. "Classic Y/N. Always has her priorities straight."

Jungwon barely heard the rest.

All he could think was—

Maybe.

Maybe there was a chance.

Maybe he wasn’t as invisible as he thought.

He spent the whole night drafting letters he’d never send. Debating if he should say anything at all.

In the end, he didn’t write a love confession. He didn’t pour his heart out. He just kept it simple.

A bag of yellow gummy bears. And a note taped on it.

"I know this might not be the right time to give you something like this.

But I just wanted you to know,  you're interesting in every possible way.

You're the kind of person someone could admire quietly for a long time, even if the tides never turn in their favor.

I hope you keep smiling the way you do when you win arguments.

I hope you keep picking the yellow gummy bears, even if you have to fight for the last one.

No pressure.

No expectations.

Just... you deserve to know."

He left it in your locker early the next morning. Heart hammering. Hands shaking.

He thought maybe you’d know. Maybe the gummy bears would tip you off. Maybe you’d remember the stupid vending machine moment that never really left his mind.

Instead—

At lunch, he saw you. Marching across the courtyard. The bag of gummy bears clutched in your hand. Heading straight for Jake.

From where Jungwon sat on the stone steps by the library, he saw it unfold like a bad dream:

You smiling politely.

Talking softly.

Handing Jake the gummy bears back like they were some kind of apology.

And Jake—Jake just blinked, clearly confused, before awkwardly nodding and taking the bag.

You looked relieved.

Jake looked baffled.

Jungwon felt like something inside him cracked quietly open.

You thought Jake sent the gift.

You thought Jake wrote the letter.

And you turned it down.

Kindly. Gently.

And you never even knew it was him.

Later, Jake found him by the vending machines, tossing the crumpled bag onto Jungwon's lap.

"You’re a dumbass," Jake said, not unkindly.

"You should've put your name on it."

Then he left, leaving Jungwon alone with a silent, half-empty machine and a gummy bear pack that tasted a lot more bitter than sweet now.

Jungwon never said anything about it.

He just swallowed the rejection he was never even given the chance to earn.

And maybe that’s why now, standing years later in a messy drama room, when that girl tilted her head and said with a teasing smile—

"The girl who rejected you during freshmen year. Jake told me."

Because truth was… you never even knew it was him.

You never even saw him.

Not then.

Not yet.

The door slammed shut behind him.

Jungwon didn’t stop walking.

Down the hallway, past the bulletin boards, past the same scratched lockers he could’ve walked through blindfolded.

His fists curled tighter with every step.

Breath shallow. Mind buzzing.

He pushed outside, the night air slapping cold against his face. But the sick feeling in his gut didn’t go away.

He barely made it two steps across the courtyard when—

"Jungwon!"

He turned, shoulders stiff.

It was Sunoo, jogging up, frowning. "Dude, what happened? Why is Y/N storming out like she’s about to sue the entire drama club?"

Jungwon opened his mouth.

Closed it.

Rubbed a hand down his face.

"I messed up," he muttered finally, voice hoarse. "I didn’t mean for her to see... that."

Sunoo stared at him, mouth twitching like he wanted to ask a dozen questions but knew better.

Jungwon dug into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out the bright yellow pack, the gummy bears he'd bought earlier, before everything went to shit. Before he'd ruined it.

And then it hit him.

Today was your birthday.

You were supposed to have a good day.

You were supposed to laugh and smile and maybe — maybe — open your locker to find a stupid, cheesy pack of candy from someone who actually thought about you.

Instead, you found him like that.

Instead, he made you leave like your heart was breaking in real time.

A fresh wave of guilt slammed into him, sharp enough to make his stomach turn.

He shoved the pack into Sunoo’s hands, almost too rough.

"Give this to her," Jungwon said, jaw tight. "Tomorrow. Please."

Sunoo blinked down at it. "Uh. Okay? What is this, a bribe?"

Jungwon gave a humorless huff of air.

"Just... tell her I’m sorry. Tell her it’s from me."

Sunoo tucked the candy into his tote bag, still looking like he wanted to say more.

"I have to check our biochem lab results tomorrow," Jungwon added, half an excuse, half the truth. "I won’t see her before lunch."

Sunoo nodded slowly.

"You sure you don’t wanna just give it to her yourself?"

Jungwon shrugged helplessly.

"I don’t think she wants to see me right now."

A beat of silence.

The wind picked up, rattling the bare branches overhead.

Sunoo sighed, clapping him lightly on the shoulder. "Alright. I’ll make sure she gets it."

He started to turn away, then paused, glancing back with a small, lopsided smile.

"Oh—and, uh, advance happy birthday, Jungwon."

Jungwon managed the barest curve of a smile.

"Thanks."

And then he turned, hoodie pulled up against the cold, and disappeared into the night.

The morning Jungwon turned eighteen, the world stayed silent—for a moment.

The sun rose like it always did, pale and slow against the cracked skyline.

His apartment was still the same too: neat, spare, clean to the point of looking unlived-in. A couch, a low coffee table, a desk piled with textbooks he didn’t really touch anymore.

Nothing screamed special day.

Nothing at all.

He sat up on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees, staring at the muted light seeping through his curtains.

In families like his, birthdays — eighteenth birthdays — were monumental.

Because here, you only got your blessing once.

It came exactly on your eighteenth birthday, and it never changed after that.

It was supposed to be a celebration. A doorway into the life you were meant to live. But in Jungwon’s family, it wasn’t magic. It wasn’t wonder.

It was a contract.

A cousin who awakened the ability to manipulate probability was immediately signed into risk management for the family's overseas holdings flown out within two weeks. An older sister who could predict crucial decisions before they happened became the sharpest negotiator in corporate mergers. An aunt who could sway opinions through subtle energy became a political lobbyist, shuffled from one continent to another, her life signed away to strategies and campaign wars.

The blessings were always bent, reshaped, weaponized.

Once your blessing appeared, you were sealed into it. Expected to serve it. Or get discarded quietly, like those who didn't "align" well enough.

Jungwon learned early not to hope. Hope made you vulnerable. Hope got you chained.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table.

🎉 Happy 18th Birthday, Jungwon 🎉

It's time to check your Blessing 💫

He stared at the screen but didn’t move.

Because once you checked it, there was no going back. Once the world saw what you were it would decide who you were.

The phone buzzed again.

A text from his mother.

[Mom]

Happy Birthday, my love. Remember, make today count. Everyone’s watching and waiting. We love you.

And then bleeding in like a crack through the wall  he heard it.

He can’t afford to screw this up. We’ve invested too much already. If it’s not useful, we’ll need to reassess him for overseas placements.

Jungwon stiffened.

It wasn’t a message.

It wasn’t in the text.

It was her thoughts.

He wasn’t reading her words, he was hearing the parts she didn’t say.

He sat there, frozen, as realization sank in.

With a slow, almost reluctant movement, Jungwon finally tapped the blinking notification on his phone.

The screen flashed once, then displayed in clean, gold lettering:

Blessing Activated: The ability to hear the thoughts of those you are conversing with.

And if he could hear it through this simple text conversation...

What would happen when he spoke to people in real life?

A sour, heavy feeling settled into his chest.

This blessing wasn't something he could turn on and off.

It wasn’t something he asked for.

And it sure as hell wasn’t going to make his life easier.

He pushed himself to stand, grabbing his jacket in a stiff, mechanical motion. Then powered off his phone.

When he left the apartment, the air outside was cold against his skin.

As he made his way down the street, he avoided conversation like it was poison. He ignored the greetings of the security guard in his building. He nodded mutely to the woman who sold coffee on the corner without saying a word.

Because he knew what it meant now. Because he knew the moment he exchanged words, he would hear the real thing hiding underneath. Not their smiles. Not their words. The truth they kept locked away.

And Jungwon had spent his whole life surrounded by that kind of duplicity. Family members who said "I'm proud of you" but thought "You better not ruin our name." Cousins who laughed over family dinners but secretly wished for each other's failures. An uncle who clapped him on the back and said "You’re lucky" while thinking "It should have been my son instead."

He grew up seeing it already. The way blessings, were twisted into weapons, into currency, into burdens too heavy to carry.

And now?

Now he would never be able to unhear any of it, would he?

By the time he reached the university, his head was already aching.

He remembered, vaguely, how Sunoo had clapped him on the shoulder yesterday, laughing, "Advance happy birthday, Jungwon!" before running off to one of his club meetings.

How easy it had been to smile back then.

He wished he could freeze himself in that moment before the world tilted sideways.

Now, everything felt heavier.

He was grateful for the excuse to be alone today. Hidden away in the lab under the pretense of gathering data for his project. The thick walls, the stale scent of old paper and chemicals, the silent machines, it was a kind of peace he didn’t realize he needed so badly.

Here, there were no conversations.

No words exchanged.

No truths bleeding through.

Just silence.

Finally.

Jungwon leaned back in his chair, staring up at the cracked ceiling tiles.

Was this what blessings were supposed to feel like? Or was this just another leash, dressed up like a gift?

He closed his eyes and exhaled quietly.

Happy birthday.

What a joke.

Jungwon stayed frozen by the wall, watching you cross the quad like you were some mirage that might dissolve if he blinked too hard. The lab data crinkled faintly in his fingers, forgotten. His brain, usually so sharp, so careful, now felt like someone had jammed it into slow motion.

Because you were here.

Because you had actually replied.

And he had heard it—your thoughts, clear as day, slicing through the usual static of the world.

Sorry I just saw this. Where are you now?

He’d read the text with a stone face. And underneath it, he heard it—the rush of your guilt, the tiny pang of something warmer, something unbearably human.

Not calculation. Not politics. Not some angle to manipulate him, like everyone else he grew up around.

You.

Just you.

The moment your gaze locked with his across the quad, something in his chest tightened painfully. He stuffed his phone into his pocket, stood straighter, forced himself to smirk internally even though his throat felt dry.

"Hey. President," he called, casual, careful.

Because he remembered the look in your eyes that day outside the drama room—how you flinched when he tried to apologize, how you wouldn’t even look at him.

The last time he said your name out loud, you flinched like he was something rotten.

So now it was just "President." A shield between you and him.

You approached, steady, distant. Your voice clipped when you asked about the lab data. Jungwon handed it over, his fingers brushing yours—and he felt it, again, like a ripple of static under his skin.

Your thoughts cracked into him like sunlight through a stained glass window.

"His hand’s warm."

"Focus, Y/N. You’re being ridiculous."

"Just get through this. Don’t let him see you melt like some idiot."

Jungwon almost dropped the papers.

He bit the inside of his cheek instead, forcing himself to stay calm, to stay cool. Because if he lost it now—if he said anything wrong—you might shut him out completely.

You thanked him in that same clipped voice, turned to leave.

And then he heard it.

"God, why does he have to look at me like that? I hate feeling like this"

"Ugh, why he out of all people? Everything was fine until what I saw last night.”

“Just forget it, Y/N. Forget that stupid future your blessing showed you. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“He’s not going to be your husband. No way. Watch me prove fate wrong.”

Jungwon's world tilted.

Husband? Your husband?

His instincts scrambled for something, anything, to tether him back to earth, to slow the pounding in his chest. The words just slipped out, raw and unsteady, the first thing his brain could grab onto.

“…You saw the file?”

You paused. Nodded. Muttered, “It’s good.”

Then you walked away.

Jungwon stood there, rooted to the spot, heart hammering against his ribs so loud he thought someone might hear it.

Because for the first time since he woke up this morning, with the whole damn world feeling like it was pried open, every thought bleeding through the noise, didn’t feel suffocating.

That night, Jungwon’s dorm was too quiet, but his mind is completely the opposite.

Jungwon sat hunched on the edge of his bed, hoodie sleeves half-pulled over his knuckles, phone glowing dim in his hand. He’d read your message probably a hundred times.

"Sorry I just saw this. Where are you now?"

So casual. So harmless. But the memory of your voice, your clipped tone from earlier, the way your eyes didn’t quite meet his. All of it kept repeating in his head like a glitch in a dream he couldn’t wake up from.

And worse than the silence was the part he couldn’t shake.

Husband.

The word had lodged somewhere in his chest and refused to leave.

He didn’t even realize he was grinning like an idiot until his reflection caught in the dark window. Quickly, he sobered, scolding himself but it was useless. That voice—your voice—echoed in his head with too much heat.

She saw a future where I was her husband.

She thought about me. Dreamed about me.

She didn’t just push me away for no reason.

His thumb hovered over your contact.

He wasn’t supposed to use his blessing like this. He knew it. It was too intimate. Too invasive. But tonight, he needed to understand. Because your voice inside his head didn’t sound like hate. It sounded like fear. And want.

He opened the chat.

[9:47 PM]

hey.

it’s jungwon.

He hit send, then hesitated.

Don’t text her this late, idiot. You’ll just look desperate.

But what if she thinks you don’t care?

He sent another.

thanks for checking the file.

Still nothing.

He tapped his leg nervously, eyes locked on the screen. His thoughts were a mess with half apologies and half what-ifs.

are you still mad about yesterday.

it’s fine if you are. just wanted to say i wasn’t trying to... make you uncomfortable or anything.

didn’t know you’d walk in.

The reply came fast. Faster than he expected.

[Y/N]

Don’t flatter yourself. You didn’t make me uncomfortable.

I’ve seen worse.

But your thoughts betrayed you, spilling into him like sparks on skin.

Liar. I felt like my lungs collapsed when I saw him.

Because seeing him with someone else felt like a punch in the gut. Because it confirmed he’d never be mine. Even if the blessing said otherwise.

Jungwon’s heart thudded, warm and dizzy. You wanted him. Maybe not openly, maybe not consciously, but it was there. Real and raw.

His ears burned. He grinned against his knuckles.

He typed again.

you sure? you looked like you saw a ghost.

Because I did, okay? You were the ghost of that stupid dream. That version of you who held my hand and whispered all those sweet things.

And then I saw you tangled up with someone else like a slap of reality. God, maybe it wasn’t a vision at all. Maybe it was just a stupid delusion and I was the idiot who let it mean something.

His smile faded, just a bit. He wanted to explain. He wanted to reach into your thoughts and pull that version of him out, hand him to you like a promise.

Instead, you answered.

[Y/N]

I was just surprised. That’s all.

Another lie. Another flicker of your truth curled under it:

You make me nervous.

You make me mad.

But worse, you make me want to hope.

And I don’t know what to do with that.

A soft laugh bubbled from Jungwon’s throat. It felt... new. Not like the practiced chuckles he gave to classmates or the stiff polite ones he reserved for teachers. This one felt like sunshine cracking open in his chest.

sunoo said you looked pissed.

[Y/N]

Well, maybe tell Sunoo to mind his business.

That little traitor.

But... he’s not wrong.

I was pissed. Still am. But also, ugh. Why do I want him to keep texting me? NO, every text from him makes my head boil.

His chest ached in the sweetest, most unbearable way.

He barely realized what he was typing next.

you don’t like me much, do you.

The silence stretched just long enough to make him nervous. But your thoughts answered before your fingers did.

I don’t know how to not like you. I don’t know how I feel about you. That’s the problem.

You make me mad. But you also make my hands shake.

He sucked in a breath.

You were trying so hard to protect yourself. And yet, your walls had tiny cracks and through them, he could feel your heartbeat echoing like his.

[Y/N]

I don’t really know you.

A beat passed.

Then another.

Jungwon stared at those six words for a long time. And when he finally replied, it came from somewhere deeper.

This time, he didn’t hesitate.

then maybe let me fix that.

The words were barely on the screen before your thoughts fluttered again.

What does that even mean?

Is this how he talks to the other girls? That easy, casual charm?

God, I hate this. I hate how I want it to be different with me.

Is it stupid… that a part of me wants to say yes?

Jungwon pressed the phone to his chest, eyes closing for a second.

For once, the world was quiet.

Except for the soft, dangerous hope blooming between your mind and his.

And god… he hoped you could feel it too.

That night, Jungwon thought maybe his blessing wasn’t so bad after all. Not loud. Not suffocating. Just... quiet enough to feel like something sacred.

He fell asleep on his birthday without telling anyone what he’d received. No big announcement, no family expectation, no performance. Just him, alone with the memory of your thoughts that are honest and vulnerable echoing softly in his chest.

It might’ve been his favorite birthday yet.

Because for the first time in a long time, he dreamed not of pressure, pleasure, or perfection, but of you.

And when morning came, groggy and golden through his window, the first thing that surfaced in his mind wasn’t the dread of responsibility.

It was you.

Now, hours later, that same girl—the one who’d occupied his mind all night, maybe even all these years—was clinging to the back of his shirt, arms wrapped around his waist as his motorbike hummed down the empty road.

And Jungwon smiled, wind in his hair, heart louder than the engine.

masterlist.

sorry for another cliffhanger hehe, notes and comments are very much appreciated :D

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[keen-li]

All Aisle Ever Need 02 | jjk

chapter: 2/ ?

summary: Forced into a corner and faced with the biggest decision of your life. You stand before your ex and have to decide whether to marry him or not...

pairing: Jungkook x fem reader.

story type: series.

genre: There's-something-i-don't-like-about-you to lovers, second chance au, slow burn, angst, fluff, smut.

rating: m. Mdni

wordcount: 10.6k

warnings for chapter: troubled parental dynamics/figures. It's implied that they are both grown, Jungkook is older than reader (the age is subjective). cussing. found family. none really from here on.

a/n: though of this whilst watching MAFS. I've been in a burnout and this got me out of it?.

anyways I hope you enjoys it.

date: 02/05/25

note: this is not the first chapter

prev | next

story under cut.

��•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

“Yn are you alright?”

The concern in his voice, eyes; it weakens your knees. These aren’t the knees that should’ve been getting knocked in. But it’s not surrender.

The universe will always know how to flip the switch negatively for those it doesn't like. And it happens you’re on the bad side of it.

You wonder how he's able to say your name so casually, like a feather being carried by wind. His name is forbidde in your mind right now. Even thinking about thinking about it is a casualty.

He smiles, occasionally looking over at the officiant and his friends.

You must be looking like a fool right now. You feel like one.

Does he seriously not feel like you are? Your face muscles are taut it's hard to pull a smile.

Your chest tightens.

You don’t put it past him. That’s who he is. Do you even know? He's acting so concerned for you all of a sudden. Where was this when...you know what? he can keep his fake concern and shove it up his as--

“I’m fine.” You force the words out. The little pause has people staring. Tae and Jisoo inch closer to the edge of their seats. Maybe it’s just the nerves but you look anaemic. The silence stays. “Really I’m fine.” Your lips curve from embarrassment masked as genuitey.

If you just plaster on a smile, you’ll be fine. Act like you're standing in front of a stranger.

You stare up at him...that idioitic smile still exists?

“We can proceed?” the officiant asks and you both nod for them to go ahead.

It's not a confident nod, cause you're still deciding for how long this ceremony should last.

You would’ve walked away, you should’ve at the silence. But no worries, you can wait to the i dos to say you don’t want to do this. It’s fine you’re still control of this.

He was supposed to be a stranger.

“Jungkook, yn’s friends want you to know...” the officiant starts and you only hope that your friends didn't write something stupid. You didn't get to see what they wrote about you, but you trust them. Their the only thing you're depending in to stay the same at this point. “...she’s a very caring person who feels things deeply. She loves love and is looking for a partner who knows what he wants.”

Jungkook nods, glances switching from the officiant to you. You cringe behind your hands. It’s sweet...you’re a lover girl. He doesn't remember the last time he's...its been a while since...dammit.

“They also want you to know...she can be a bit bossy at times so be ready to be bossed.”

You mumble an interjection as you turn to narrow your eyes at the culprits who sit side by side. Cheeky smiles plastered on their faces.

Are you bossy? That's what people say. But you just like things a certain way. You don't know what's wrong with that.

Everybody chuckles when you express embarrassment through a self defence speech. You just had to clarify.

When you're done and you lift your head with a blush that drains. You bite your inner cheek immediately.

“That’s not a problem for me.” Jungkook says playfully but you don’t catch.

Your lack of reaction forces him to match you as well.

Can others feel it, can they sense your one-sided tension.

“Yn...” you snap your eyes to the officiant. “Jungkook’s family wants you to know that he’s a goal junky, loves to achieve anything he sets his mind to. That includes whatever you task him with."

You nod like it's all new to you, cause it is. You never knew him back then why would you know him now?

You also never pinned him as the type to have tattoos or piercings.

But no matter what, you doubt he's changed. They never change. Unless he somehow went for therapy, which you doubt he did. Jungkook was always picky about who he opens up to.

He's still the same old jungkook. And marriage doesn't change a thing.

Your cheek will tear if you bite any harder. So you relax, for your own good.

“We’re perfect.” Jungkook jokes

“yeah...”

The officiant goes in and you couldn't be happier, “...he’s a guy who’s dedicated to the people around him, loves community and they can promise you he’ll always be there for you.”

Scoff. And he heard it. Good.

“So do you take...”

From the depths of your limited knowledge you have no clue why he says yes for. What the fuck. You're gonna to look like a bad person now.

And now everyone watches for you. This is your exit. You say no and walk out of here. It will be confusing but what about this isn't already confusing.

Too hell with what people will think. This is about your happiness.

Maybe you aren’t marriage material. Your family was right. You've been a fool with all of this and the universe keeps telling you that. Why the hell would he say yes. Does he not actually remember you?

You sigh the decision weighing hard on you. If they asked you this back then the answer would be out quicker than lightening, but knowing what you know, you can’t. You just can’t.

“i do.”

You feel an invisble veil lift over head, how long was it there for?

Him putting your ring on you, has you holding your breath. You dreamt if this...you dreamt of him. And it's finally happening, but it feels anything but good. The ring doesn't feel like and eternity of love and commitment but more like a death sentence that you brought yourself to.

This is conflicting with what you had in mind for yourself.

“So I now pronounce husband and wife, you may now kiss the-” the officiant isn't sure if he should go on. Cause you're strangers and might not want to go that far yet.

But the question is caught and the following words leave as a soft question, like he was fighting himself to say.

“may i?”

He's so freaking ridiculou-

“sure.”

Nothing is going to plan.

He put you in the spot, that's the reason. Not anything more, not the curiosity of his lip ring on you. Him on yo...

His palm is soft as he cups your cheek. The kiss is gentle and soft. Warm and like you know him...the hint of spirit is unmistakable.

It's nice to know he was a little nervous about the wedding.

It only lasts for a few seconds but you could swear it lasted longer than that.

One moment he's on you and the next you're walking back down the aisle, your hand in his but inching away slowly as your friends cheer.

You stare at him dumbfound.

Who the hell is this man?

Once you’re out and on the balcony by producer’s request, you drop his hand so fast. And if he was a stranger, you would feel bad for being rude.

You’re supposed to be talking, getting to know eachother or whatever. Nothing to get to know in your opinion.

“So what do you do for work?” your eyes are on the skyscrapers. You watch them and analyse every single detail. You’re not the avid scene watcher you’ve never be. The only time you were was when your father would be yelling at you and you wanted to be elsewhere.

How the hell are they able to stand so tall and strong? .

Speaking of standing. Jungkook stands, elbows leaning against the half wall protecting you both from the ground.

Someone would assume you’re staring at the same thing if they walked in...and you are.

“Right off the bat?” He turns to look at you with an annoying smirk. He looks back at the skyscraper when you don’t stare at him. Can you not feel his eyes on you?

He needs to get himself together. He can’t be nervous about the wedding still.

“Too forward?” a bird soars over the building. Must be nice to be so free and unburdened.

“No. You’re alright.” his shoulders droop, now leaning over to look down at the people who walk. From the corner of you eyes you watch, but not for long.  “I do accounting.”

You’re quick to snapping your head to him. And for the moment you stare at eachother...“Really?”

“Shocking?”

It is. Jungkook and accounting? The only thing he can account for are numbers. Not surprisingly. Internally you roll your eyes, you’d do it right in his face but you don’t know where you stand.  “n-no...just...” it’s shocking, but its good you guess.

He’s not giving any signs of remembrance and honestly you don’t want to be the first one to bring it up. It annoys you, very much so. Why do you always have to be the one who speaks first? It’s your specialty but sometimes it wouldn’t hurt for somebody else to be at the front.

“You live in the city?” he asks.

“yeah you?”

He nods.

The silence that falls between you two is so dumb and unnecessary. How the hell are you going to survive this marriage?

You both stand on it. You only survive the silence by staring at the sky above.

This feels dumb so dumb you just have to ask. If he doesn’t remember you then he won’t be able to ask. And if he doesn’t ask you won't know, and if you won't know it’ll eat at you.

Unless you just ask. Its for your own sake. Even if he does remember you it won’t change how you’re hating this right now. Fuck...just ask. Keep it vague.

“i’m sorry i just need to as-” you start to only get interrupted.

So he waited for you to want to say something, to say whatever he wants to?

Chuckle.

“You always wanted to marry a stranger?”

What the hell does he care?

“no-who would ever want that.” You scoff dismissively

He’s got no idea what to say. You don’t seem interested and he feels like all he's doing is investigating you. “How do-did you evision yourself get married?”

He catches your smirk  and he can’t help but do the same. You look too pretty to be pouting like before.

“i don’t want to hurt your feelings.” You confess.

He knows this is not the way anyone, let alone a woman, would want to get married. So maybe he would be hurt if you told him what you really wanted.

“Assuming you can-” he stares at you and this time he doesn’t look away.

“All i can tell you is i never thought i’d be marrying a stranger.” No, you can’t tell him. You won’t let anyone know that.

“is it something you’re okay with?”

“i mean i’m here” You chuckle. You’re here...so that that should serve to something.  What exactly? You have no clue. But you’re here

Is he as well? You hope not. Cause it would be a shame

“Your body is.” You knit your brows in his direction but catch yourself immediately. You can’t let him know the way that remark's affected you. Is it that obvious? You were to trying hard to hide what you’re truly feeling, but you guess you’re more of an open book than you thought.

Or maybe he just knows how to read you.

Jungkook looks down at the street and when you chuckle bitterly his on you.

“Wow you talk a lot.” It’s a mumble, not confident enough to come out as you'd want or as normally as you would.  And the same goes for your gaze. Your feet inch unconsciously further from him like you weren’t far enough already.

It seems like you can never be far enough from him.

He smiles, playing with the metal by his lip and staring down at his hands. Will he have to stop wearing his other decorative rings now? It would take away from the centre piece. Maybe he’ll just have them on his right hand.

“You aren’t as bossy as i expected.”

You want to be offended you really want to.

“i’m out of my comfort zone.” It’s a simple statement.

Jungkook raises a brow. “What would i have to do to get you there?” He wants to know, wants to see how bossy you can get. Can he handle it? He’s done it before.

Have you gotten bossier?

“You look like the type to marry a stranger.” Completely ignoring him, you follow with your assumption.

“i look? What look is that?” Jungkook turns away from the view, choosing to give his back to the world. The conversation seems to be getting more interesting.

He folds his arms over his chest. He looks like someone who would what? It’s only a few things he can change huh!

“You have the vibe.” You straighten your back, folding your arms over your chest as well.

But maybe his actions just prove that he can only change so much in the eyes of himself and others. His actions always seem to get him to horrible places, but its his fault for staying. “You're right. I would marry a stranger.” He smirks to himself. You can read him too?

“is it what you wanted?” The question is heavy in your heart. It shouldn’t be cause it doesn’t matter. It shouldn’t matter to you...so why you ask? you don’t know cause you don’t care. Really.

You don’t care about how his face grows serious after the question, the way he brushes his index and middle finger over his lips in thought. Does he have to think about it? You had your answer quite quick.

“no. I wouldn’t have done it this way.” He confesses to something deeper than words can go and you would know that if you could see how his eyes watch you. This is never how he’d want to do things but his actions...more like inaction... have him here.

But the universe seems to be giving him a second chance for the very first time. He doesn’t  know how many he has but one thing he knows is not to squander it going against what he wants. “But we make mistakes.”

“Marrying me is a mistake?”

He laughs, cause you don’t get it.

The laugh feels like an insult to you and you loathe that you care. It was mistake for him to marry you cause you’re hating him right now and you’re gonna show it. Maybe that way he’ll remember.

Jungkook smirks giving up.

“You’ve gotten better.” His voice is low. He wondered how long this conversation would go on for before either one of you got tired.

“what?”

“At pretending.”

You laugh. “learnt from the best.” You’re eyes are back on the skyscrapers. You don’t even know why you looked away.

You should’ve guessed it, not because you think he’s capable  of it but because he probably enjoys your suffering. You've been talking and he watched you walk down the aisle. He acted so innocent like he didn’t...Where’s he going with this? “You knew?” You don’t bother to elaborate, he should know.

“how could i forget?”

You roll your eyes at him. Liar. Not a scoff in the world could show how irritated you suddenly feel. You could throw him over this—shit.

“Then why the hell did you say yes.” you're raging.

He looks at you to lower your tone. As much as you’re alone here, there are people inside. People who think you don’t know each other and are happy for you.

Your sudden tone change definitely wakens something in him. A calm but irritated tone. “You wanted me to say no?”

“Yeah.” You laugh jaggedly, nodding your head like your disappointed in him. The laugh hides how your heart tightens and eyes fill.

You can’t.

“Then why didn’t you say no?”

You'd like to rub your face to alleviate some stress but honestly it wouldn’t do much. The make up have on stops you from doing anything with touching your face. That's why you try not to cry. Jisoo would notice any shift in product, instantly.

Instead you turn your back to him for a moment. He stares harder. Why the hell is he looking at you? Can he not look away?

Collecting yourself you turn around, breath slow but deep. You have to control your anger. Otherwise you might just--

“Felt bad for you.” You snicker.

Jungkook raises a confused brow. “You felt bad for me so you legally bound us together? Wow mother teresa.” He didn’t want to say the last remark but it slipped out, he doesn't intend for this to get heated and knowing you that remark is getting you right where he doesn’t want to be.

“Shut the fuck up." You’re calmer.  “Why the hell did you say yes?” you press in. You want to know, really. Is he trying to prove something,  trying to waste your time once more. Or maybe this is his final showdown to really down tear you down, he's heart must be fluttering with excitement.

But you won’t let him, not again.

“i never came here to back down.” He declares only serving to edge you.

It’s so like him.

Never take anything serious. Its all just a fucking joke to him. You shake your head in disbelief. He’ll never fucking change.

“it’s marriage were talking about not some game.” You don't catch how he scrunches his face.

He ignores you for a moment.

“i did genuinely want to do this you know?”

“That’s hard to believe.”

He’s not surprised. It’s be hard to believe you would say or act any other way.

“knowing me like you do yn...”

“i dont know you.” You correct sharply. He’s overestimating himself again.

“You do.”

“You’re overestimating yourself and how you know me.”

He can swear he's heard words of that sort from a his mother. And that’s why he hated something about you. About here he still is...

Sigh.

“do you think i would get married as a joke?”

“i told you, i dont know you.”

“amusing...”

“i’ll have you know i’m serious about this. I  dont know if you are.” He hates how you don’t look at him or turn your body when you speak. Can you ever be civil?

You don’t believe him. “if you aren’t we can get an annulment.”

You could, you really could. But your mind moves over to your mother. Your friends. You haven’t gotten to speak to any of them, your mother especially so you have no clue what she truly and personally thinks of this whole thing. Maybe if she doesn’t support you could get the annulment. But if she supports it and is so happy for you will...not she’s going to hate this.

She’s going to think you’re stupid and this was a mistake. A failure on your part,  cause you were never able to find a proper man on your own. That you’re truly not marriage material. And because of that, you have a rush of adrenaline to prove them wrong. Prove everyone wrong.

“Never came here to quit.”

--

“He’s not that bad...” Jisoo thinks. “...so why aren’t you smiling.” He is your type, she knows that for sure. But you look like you just bit into a candied lemon.

“i am smiling.” you are...well you’re trying. You think you do a good job. Anybody else would be cracking under the pressure of emotions you're feeling. The questioning.

He knew. He fucking knew and still wanted to marry you? You could’ve sworn you were over this, over everything. You were able to do it for the others. If any of your other exes were at the end of the aisle, you would’ve walked out. Because it would be just that easy.

But Jungkook standing up there smiling at you like nothing had happen. Like it was an alternative universe were things progressed like normally just...it’s annoying. He’s annoying.

You’re only doing this for one reason and you need to keep your mind on that. You’d be fool to let that fantasy spark curiosity.

You are a fool though and this is not a dream, it’s the real world. And in it, Jungkook is not the I’m here for you guy, or this kind of guy that he’s trying to be.

He’s a liar.

“I don’t know what you think a smile is; but it’s not that.”

“What do you want me to do!” the words come out tense and sharp. Definitely not a tone you take up with them. And their shock is evident. “You want me to dance around like I’ve married to love of my life.” You wave your hands.

Jisoo looks at Taehyung and he looks back at her. You’re not in the room, your body is and that's how you’re about to hear the chatter of guests. But your mind isn’t, and that's why you can’t decipher what the chatter is about.

Is it about you? What are they saying.

“That’s not what we’re sa-”

“At the end of  the day he’s a stranger so don’t except me to be all jolly.”

What the hell is up with you.

“yn-”

“Excuse me.”

You wish you could storm off, but the dress drags you down.

Stupid dress.

--

“What was her name?” Namjoon asks mockingly “Yn?” he already knew it but the look on jungkook’s face is worth it.

At his response the two laugh and stare and each other mischievously. Namjoon mostly. Jungkook’s brows knit.

“I swear i’ve heard that name before.” Seokjin adds and he can’t help but be disappointed in the older.

“I mean it’s a-” he tries to respond but is loudly interrupted. Is Namjoon drunk? Already?

“-from you.” The silver head interrupts. “i-we’ve heard that name from you.”

He wants to say so what? But he can’t cause it’s many things. From ignorance, denial and even fear. Jungkook has realized that. like he said he has changed. But from what he’s seen you don’t believe that. plus you’re so stubborn and honestly it’s so hard for him to not respond with the same energy.

Jungkook looks around the room, maybe for an exit. But definitely not for you, it’s not possible for you to walk by. Stepping forward and closer to his friends; the words fall out in a plead wrapped in whisper.

“Don't say anything about it.” He wants to sound like he’s warning. “Especially not to her.”

“Why? don’t want to see like a lover boy?” yeah it did hurt when you left him and he may have said somethings to his friends that he should’ve told you instead.

He feared this. how the hell were they able to remember?

“What the hell happened between you two?” Seokjin asks turning the conversation more sincere.

The spot light beams on him to close. There are other things to be done, talked about. Shouldn’t Seokjin be with his wife right now?

“Long story.” It is, if you care for details. But if you don’t care for all the arguments, all the moments shared, he would simply put it that...you were on two different times. And maybe it was his fault for getting carried away and not reinforcing the line, but it was your fault too for not understanding.

He wanted a good time and you wanted a long time. Which at that time was something he was not looking for....for fucks sake he was young. Commitment was the last thing on his mind.

But once you left...the evil—and much scarier—twin of commitment stalked him.

He hated your absence as much as he hated himself for denying how much influence you did have.

“Were not really on good terms right now...so just don’t say anything.”

“My pleasure.” No one wants to be in the middle of that anyaways.

“So are you trying to talk to her?”

If only Seokjin knew how hard it is. 1. Because you’re stubborn and 2. Cause he has no clue how to go about it.

“i am, i really am.” He rubs his chin scrunching his face. “She’s just so hard to talk to.”

--

You hadn’t spoken you your mother yet and something in you didn’t want to. What is she going to say to say you? or say about this? You don't know if you can handle anymore. But the curiosity of it all has you giving in.

“Didn’t think you would come.” You start voice soft. You don’t know where to place your eyes so you look everywhere but her eyes.

She made an effort. The dress she’s in is formal and simple, but it still give mother of the bride who’s trying.

You don’t know if she is actually trying or its just for appearances. She's very conscious of appearances and she definitely implanted that mindset into you growing up.

She’d always get upset with you when you wore silly combinations as a child.

“These colours and textures don't go together yn can’t you see that?” She’d yell as you hold onto the tull of your pink tutu. You were 5 years old. How could she possibly think you’d know what colours and textures go together.

“This is the last time you pickout your own clothes." She was genuinely upset and now that you're grown it shocks you. You didn’t even cried when she striped the ‘awful’ outfit off you, neither did you cry when she throw your favourite toy cause it “looked unpleasant.” it was the most common plushie during that time for children. And what bewildered you more was the fact she's the one who bought if for you. Everything she’d condemn you for, she'd bought.

That’s safe to say, there on you’d never get creative or go out your way to create a stylish outfit. You stuck to everything you knew was safe and acceptable.

“I had to dear, you’re getting married.” She touches your arm and you hate how uncomfortable it makes you feel. Since when has she ever been affectionate? “i’m sorry your dad couldn’t come.” Her tone drops like the topic is taboo. It can be.

You didn’t even want to think of him. You knew and were sure even when you were a tween— that your father would never attend your wedding. Though you'd think about it or plan it or even wanted it; you’d never thought you’d get married. You only talked about it cause your friend's did, and honestly it was fun to atleast think about it.

Cause of all that, and being sheltered from many things you thought all men were like your father. And for sure as your went through life you were proven right. Jungkook included.

You brush your fingers over the area she’d touched. “it’s fine.” You never cared, you learnt how not to. “Didn’t think he would anyways.”

Your mother frowns. Over the years she’s come to realise how their parenting and relationship have affected you. But you being grown now and with her own conflicts, would an apology change anything about you? “He did want to be here, you know that? it’s just...”

You scoff. You'd believe you can see in the dark after eating carrots before you believe that.

“...me marrying a stranger i know.” You end her sentence for her. She doesn’t need to tell you, and you hate how she’s clearly forcing herself to speak on it.

“You know how he is.” You do, but one thing you wish for is the ability to understand it. Cause it doesn’t make sense to you. How can somebody be so cold and uncaring to their own child.  You were a planned child and they had you when they had good jobs and enough money, so you were not a burden in that area.  So nothing makes sense. “Are you happy?”

Your mind glitches at the question. Your first instinct is to nod and smile,  but you can’t do that.

Are you? What’s happiness for you. Its always been; not failing and doing the right thing. You’ve done that and what? Are you happy.

Of course you’ve loved every award every grade you’ve gotten as well, and even the promotions at work. But honestly they never feel enough. And now you’re married. It should be the ultimate win as your mother would think. But you failed at the most important part...

Marry the love of your life.

You nod anyways, cause words could expose you.

She smiles. You’re glad she’s never been the person to ask twice cause you might just break if you’re asked one more time. “That’s good, cause he looks like a really nice man.”

What would she know about nice men. If you weren’t worried before; you’re terrified now.

“You deserve the best and i hope he’ll be that.” You can hear the choke in her voice. This would be the first time you ever see her cry about something you’ve accomplished,  but again your dad isn’t here.

“mom--” you whine your own tears threatening, you love your mother, and you have no idea if that's a gift or a curse.

She doesn’t let the tears stop her. “You’re the best thing that’s happened to me, you know that?” You are? It’s hard to let the words sink in deeper but you acknowledge the possibility.

Even from that your tears fall. Gosh....Jisoo’s gonna be so mad at you. “You’re so smart, so beautiful.” Her hands hold each side of your arm.

She’s so grateful you have those friends of yours. They had told her, you went dress shopping together and it hurt that she couldn’t be there. But atleast you had people who could help you pick out such a wonderful dress. It’s better than anything she could choose. And she tries her best to not question the jewellery,  cause your husband bought it for you. But it does look good together.

Putting whatever has happened aside you pull her into a hug. One which she reciprocates. It feels nice, really nice to hug her in so long.

When was the last time you hugged? You can’t even remember.

“i’m sorry your dad is so stubborn.”  She tries not to lean on your dress.

You wish she could stop bringing him up.

“It’s not your fault” she’s always apologsing for him and you hate it. You pull away.

You’re wiping your tears. And like in disbelief to herself she speaks to herself. “I should’ve married a better man huh?” she questions. She’s asked herself that many times. Would she have been different if she had married somebody else, somebody she loved, maybe you would’ve been better. She has no clue and she'll never know. You both will never know.

“But don’t let him know that.” She asks jokingly and you shake your head with a laugh. It’s not like you’ll be talking to him.

After a moment of self collection she speaks a bit calmer. “Be happy okay? Make this marriage work. I really want you to be happy—”

Can you be happy with him? No. So maybe that’s the one thing you’ll disappoint your mother on. It pains you to say.

So the least you can do is not have kids with him. You won't get that far anyways, so you’re good.

“Yn—” a voice too comfortable for your liking calls out for you. You’re both startled as he approaches immediately smiling as he sees your mother. She smiles about at him too. You don't share the sentiment, first he’s interrupting for whatever reason and second,  he just ruins your mood.

“Oh—hello mrs y/l/n” He says. He hadn’t spotted her because of how you stand.

“Hi dear.” She coos and its so irritating,  maybe she wanted a son instead.  She immediately pulls jungkook into a hug he does not expect. They'd only just glanced at eachother and now that he’s speaking to her, he has no clue what to say. He was not prepared.

But she’s so welcoming he doesn’t feel like he needs to be prepared. He can be free with her.

The hug feels warm he does want to pull away cause he’s getting distracted.

“How are you feeling?” she asks warmly, hands still connected to his biceps, patting him.

“I’m feeling okay. How are you?” He can’t help but be so formal and tense. He’s comforted and relaxes when she tells him he doesn’t have to be so.

“you’re my son now, relax.” She says and he has to hold himself especially when you stare him down like he wasn’t meant to be here, like he didn’t deserve the feeling.

He clears his throat.

“Just little emotional but i’ll be fine.” She says it so animatedly. You stare in awe at the woman. Maybe it was the fact that you were a girl that was the problem. You let out a sharp breath that no one notices. Honestly you want to walk away but something makes you stay. Mainly cause you want to know what jungkook wanted to say. Which he’s taking too long to.

“You’re such a handsome man.” She compliments. Instinctively, her hands move to his tie , that must’ve shifted as he walked around. She goes in to fix it and Jungkook freezes. He watches her hands tease the fabric, every pull feeling like a pull at his heart instead. “I hope you two make each other happy.”

She smiles, but jungkook has always learnt to read people,  adults especially.  He can see the pleading wrapped in deep sincerity and fear. He empathises with that.

“i’ll do that.” He declares. It’s a promise cause he will. he'll try his best. His eyes move to you and it looks like he’s failing already. “i just hope she’ll do the same.” He laughs.

Your roll your eyes  and your mother doesn’t catch it cause she would be lecture you. Or maybe she did.

All of this is unnecessary. She shouldn't be endorsing jungkook, if she really cared about you.

Your mother has always been good at spotting tension, between lovers especially. But she won’t comment. You like to retaliate so she won’t get into it. Not at your wedding. She assumes it’s already enough that she’s here, after saying she wouldn’t come.

“Well—if she  gives you any trouble—” she mimics a phone with her hand.

Jungkook laughs. “I’m an easy man to please so it should be that difficult.”

The pretence is killing you. He’s so fake. Both of them are.

“You wanted to say something?.” The air turns cold immediately. You just want to know what he wants. And if it’s something stupid...

Jungkook clears his throat feeling that tension returning in his body. “i was just coming to say, the photographer is waiting.”

That’s what he wanted to say? You’re sure you would've found out eventually. He didn’t have to be the one to tell you, or maybe Jisoo or Tae could’ve. Maybe even his own groomsmen. Just anyone but him.

“Pictures?” You question like you hadn’t know that the day would get to this point. Honestly you were hoping it wouldn’t. Where are the photographers that flake out? You need those.

“Do you not wan-” Jungkook asks but is cut off by your concerned mother.

“Yn you have to have pictures.” She declares softly but it lands like thunder in your ears.

Do you? You have to have even more evidence that this is real? It honestly feels like one of those things she forces you to do.

You will do it. "I was just surprised.” Jungkook watches how you turn your eyes away,  not like you did with him in anger—no— but in surrender. To your mother.

“Everybody’s down stairs.” He adds soft eyes still on you. You’re biting your inner cheek.

“I’ll go ahead you two talk.” Your mother says winking to anyone of you as she walks off.

You want to walk off to but jungkook speaks before you get the chance to.

You inch away from him, again.

“Are you okay?” his voice is soft and patient. Wanting to claw deeper into you.  But you won't let him.

“i’m fine.” You fold your arms over your chest, ignoring the worry of it wrinkling.

He should honestly just avoid you or walk away cause unlike your mother you won’t be taking any form of lie or fakery from him. From the get go you’re gonna let him no you don't care for this marriage or him. “Why are y-ow.”

You flinch.

It was inevitable. If you bit down any harder you'd poke a hole to the outside. But even with the tiny slip, you bleed.

“Let me see.” It’s not an ask. You have no time to respond when he’s grabbing your chin softly. You want to protest but the cut and the blood that spews is distracting.

You open your mouth shyly and he turns you head inspecting. You feel stupid, but he doesn’t pay mind to your knitted brows. Honestly he couldn’t careless about your attitude right now.

It’s not bad your body will probably heal it by itself. But you’re still bleeding. “You still do that?”

“What?” You try to speak. When he let’s your chin go you try your best not to get the blood on the dress. That would wreck your mood.

“Bite your cheek.”  He reminds. You’ve never stopped, but it’s just today that you've gone to far and caused a cut. You wish he could stop pretending like he knows you or cares.

“I’ve told you about that.”

Oh please–you roll your eyes so hard they’ll fall out next.

“I’m fine.”

He hates when you say that and you're clearly are not. Why can’t you just be free, trust him even just a miniscule of how you hate him.

“Here.” He reaches into his suit pocket and pulls out a handkerchief. He hands it you and you look at it for a second. Your dress is going to stain.

After giving into the subtext of it all, you get the cloth to spit into it.

When you’re done, you fold it, not knowing where to put it cause you have no pockets. You have to throw  it, he won’t take it back. You wouldn’t take it back. He alleviates your struggle and has you widening your eyes when he takes the cloth and places it were it initially was.

In sickness and in health, right?

“What were you saying.” He ask once that’s over with. He’s still curious about what you were trying to say.

You don't even want to speak anymore. You don’t want to be here. But you know it’ll itch at your throat so you say it anyways.

“Why are you pretending?” You try your best to stare him in the face.

He tilts his head. “Pretending?”

“Yeah.” You taste Iron but not from the blood.

Jungkook let’s out a warm sigh. “I’m sorry you think that.” Is he serious. He’s not at least going to confess that he’s pretending. You don’t even know why he’s doing it. It’s not going to change anything. Unless that's his way of fucking with you.

“Forget it." You can’t get anywhere with him. “People should be waiting for us.”

He laughs. This is going to be interesting. 

“We should probably hold hands.” For realism. “Or maybe that would be too prentenious me?”

“Fuck off.”

--

Your hand is loose in his, and immediately you get the chance you pull away, you do.

Getting announced as mrs Jeon, you doubt you’ll get used to or you won’t roll your eyes everytime you hear it.

It honestly doesn’t feel like it's you they’re talking about.

You’ll be fine as long as you’re away from him. It’s easisr to forget he’s around when you’re with your friends.

With them is when you’re able to loosen up and dance. The music booming is enough to block any emotion that tries to come through,

You do want to make the best of this night, with your friends.

It doesn’t last long when a brooding figure walks over standing next to you.

“i’m sorry can i steal her from you?”

No no no. You plead in your mind,

“Sure, go ahead.” You frown at your friends for just letting you go so easily. Is this how this whole thing is going is going be? It shocks you that not even Taehyung protests. Where is the hate? the dislike that he once professed. This would be the perfect time for him to live up to his words.

Once jungkook gets what he wanted; you and him in the crowd and away from your comfort zone, you ask.

“What do you want?”

“Want to dance with you.” He tries to pull you in but you pull away the arm he reaches for. You don’t look at him kindly and he would be discouraged by that if he didn’t know you.

You both look around. People drink and dance and the bride and groom can barely be in the same room.

“Why?”

“Why?” He chuckles. You can’t decipher what type of chuckle it is, condescending? Mocking? He thinks his better than you type of chuckle? You try to to decipher it. But if you only paid attention to the way he’s eyes soften,  you would’ve realised its a hurt chuckle. “Am i not allowed?” he stares.

“it’s just--”

“just what?”

It’s just that he’s too casual with this. He doesn’t understand the weight of your unanswered quetions. Quetions you can’t bring to the surface, let alone at such a time. Questions that would not do much for you but feed your anger towards him.

“Relax for once..Yn” He tried his best not to say it, not when you’re still a boiling pot tipping over every second you see him. You’d get defensive and he knows it. So he just waits.

“I'm too relaxed actually.” Otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Hell only knows half of what you'd do.

That’s the difference with you two.

You don’t want to dance with him. So when the host announces that it’s time for the groom and bride dance, you want the earth to swallow you.  But knowing it, it would spit you right back and reverse time just so that you can go through this another time.

Jungkook is too comfortable with this too. But people are watching and he reminds you of that. You hate how you agree with him. People who think you’re not dreading this union and are happy for you should at least see you happy.

You relax only for that reason.

One hand lays stiff on his chest, the other is held by him, and you hate how soft he holds it. You told him to stop pretending.

You sway, his hand on your lower back. You try your hardest to be closer to him in a way that doesn’t raise suspicion or betray yourself.

jungkook betrayed himself long before all of this. He betrayed himself the moment you walked in through the door and he watched you leave. He was livid that day and if he did follow after you he wouldn’t have known what to say. But maybe a simple “Please stay”  would’ve sufficed but it’s exactly what you were running from. Having to stay with no possibility of progression. He hates the universe for bringing you to him when he was where he was. He won’t betray himself this time. Maybe his self respect will be in a way, betrayed, cause he takes every blow you give and comes back for another.

Jungkook is by your ear and you can hear the tiny breaths he puffs out. Does he know he doesn’t need to get this close to make it believed. You battle with where to place your hand, right now it lays on his beating heart—you can feel its pace quickens each second — you can’t move it further or any lower, so you keep it there. Hating the evidence of his presence existence.

“I missed you.” He whispers weakly.

You freeze.

He can feel your muscles lock. He shouldn’t have said that. Fuck.

It’s what you would’ve wanted to hear. Not anymore, not now. Right now the words run acid down your throat and your heart burns.

He made his choice long ago. He doesn’t get to come back and tell you whatever he feels like to draw you in. It won’t work. He wasted your time before and you let him and even though he is in the position to do it right now, you won’t let him.

You’re not needy and desperate for love anymore. And after this, the word love tastes like lime.

“let me go Jungkook.”

You say slowly pulling away. When does this song fucking end?

He panics internally but he doesn’t let go. You’ll thank him later(he knows you won't.) Cause he knows you'd hate to make a scene.

He was warning his friends not to say anything when really he should’ve been telling himself that.

“Yn...”

“No.” You reject whatever he wants to say. Whatever lie his mind has come up with.  Its been working overtime he should let it rest.

You slowly but firmly try to pull away, but he holds you tighter. If only he knew how close you are to the edge of not caring about the eyes around. Your frustration converts into a physical form; tears in your eyes and saying words you never intended to bring up. “You always say what you want, when it’s beneficial for you.”

Is it? Is any of this benficial for him.

“What do you need from me huh?.”  He looks down at you, maybe you'll finally realise how serious he is. He’s begging you, begging  you to say even an inkling of what you truly want. Even if it’s not him.

“i need you to leave me alone.” You tell him.

False. He won’t believe that.

“i can’t do that.” He shakes his head. “i mean-we’re married.”

At this point you stop swaying and stand in eachother’s arms like a statue in a French museum.

“i-i know.” You hate that that do. Marriage can bind you by law but it can't bind your emotions and feelings. “But you’ll figure it out.”

Your hands slip off him but he still has one touch on you.

“You want me to wait?” he would. The words come out a little sharper than intended. But its too heated to retract or clarify.

“just leave me alone.”

He finally let’s you go and you walk off as fast as the gown will let you.

“Everything okay?” Taehyung immediatley walks up to him.

“i-i don’t know.”

Taehyung frowns. From his view it just looks like you got irritated. You have been for some reason today. And jungkook must not know who who deal with it, being a stranger and all. The poor guy looks stunned. What did you say to him?

Laying a warm and comforting hand on his back taheyung says, “don’t beat yourself... it must be the nerves getting to her.” He says knowing how overwhelmed you can get and react.

“Probably” jungkook doesn’t even look at your frend but when he does he’s met with a comforting smile. One he can return. “Can you check on her for me?”

Taehyung nods already on his way through the direction he saw you walk.

.

Your body shivers. You've never had to go through this many emotions before at once. Hatred for yourself,  for him, for everyone. Everything wrong that has happened to you has happened because you let it get to you. You’re not cut out for this. You would’ve walked away at the aisle but now...and for what?

“Yn?” You flinch at the sound like Taehyung’s voice. He can’t see you like this. What the hell are you going to tell him. “Are you okay?” he asks.

How can you say you are when you clearly aren’t. How can you say words when your voice will betray you for.

“Can i open the door?”

No you can’t. You’ll just cry more.

“No.”

Taehyung’s taken aback by your response,  what the hell happened.  Normally you'd let him in immediately,  even before he said a word. “Tell me what's wrong.”

Should you? Maybe if you did, it would alleviate some pressure. But if you did tell him you’d have to explain more  than you’re ready for.

“He’s my ex Tae.”

He knits his brows. You’re joking. You are. He thinks you are, but then he remembers you’re not that creative or funny.

Your silence raises more questions than answers.

“I’m coming in.” And he does. The door was open nothing really was stopping him from walking in but respect.

“What did you say?” he says when he's finally in.

“He’s my ex.” Honestly you were just a hook up to him, so can you even calm him your ex?

“How don’t i know him?” Taehyung immediately sits down at the closest surface to you. It must be like a change room or something. None have gotten the chance to explore the venue beyond the occupied areas.

Taehyung watches you fight your tears, which is something he wishes you would stops doing. But you never listen.

“Never wanted to tell you guys.” You can’t even look at him. He probably thinks you don't trust him or Jisoo,  and you're such a bad friend. If you fail at this what can you do? You don't want to acknowledge it to anyone,  but you’re just embarrassed.

As well as you trust them and are your friends, you’re just too embarrassed to tell them some things. Plus, they'd get upset if they knew anyways.  And you hate when your friends are upset with you.

“Jisoo doesn’t know too?”

You shake your head.

He sighs. There's probably a reason why you didn’t want to tell them but now is not the time to ask.

He can’t help his heart fill bitterness, he must’ve hurt you. You never cry like this. “Come here.” He says pulling you into a hug. You make sure not to stain his suit.

You’ve already stained your dress. You hope there nothing the dry cleaners can't do. “You wanna stay married?”

The question is heavy and you’ve only realised you haven’t thought of it or the answer. ”There’s nothing i can do, Tae.” Your tears dry leaving salt paths.

There is definitely something you can do. Annulment. And you and Taehyung both know that. He knows you know. “You still love him?”

“Tae...” you pull away slowly. It does feel a little better to tell someone.

“don’t tell me. We’’ll talk.”

But there’s no talking needed.

“i don’t.” You swallow hard. “My mom just looks so happy for me. I don’t want to disappoint her. She really believes in this.” You speak your thoughts rumbling past your decision maker. There's nothing taehyung doesn't know about you so it's fine. “She came all the way—and—i can’t i just can’t.” Your throat closes and the tears flood your eyes again.

Taehyung immediately pulls you into him, this time your head lays right on his suit. It's not important right now.

“Don’t talk. It’s okay.”

“is she okay?” jungkool Immediately places a hand on Taehyung’s shoulder when he spots him.

Taehyung stares at the hand. Jungkook pulls back.

“What did you say?” Taehyung asks anything but interested in letting him know anything else.

“is she okay?”

“she’s fine.” He spits out. “what did you do to her?” Taehyung inches closer.

“nothing.” Jungkook defends but Taehyung is anything but satisfied.

“You dated?” he continues to press in. What the hell happened,  what did you say?

No matter what you said or made him look, he can only take that tone from a few people. And this guy he barely knows won’t be one.

“i’m not going to talk about that with you.”

“You are.”

Jungkook chuckles and finally looks at Taehyung who’s never stopped looking at him.

“i understand where you’re coming from, but i need to talk to her first.”

He’s needs him to understand that.

“She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

Of course you don't, he expected it. But now you can’t run from him for forever.  Eventually you will talk to him. “That’s fine, i’ll wait.”

Taehyung laughs. “i knew there was something i didn’t like about you.”

What does he want him to do about that?

“That’s a shame.”

--

This is the part of the night you were dreading. You’ve always been able to deal with things with your friends around, they make it easier. It’s either them or work. You love to drown yourself in projects, assignments too. But you prefer your friends.

But you have none right now.

And a day from now you’ll have none of them for two weeks.

You also said good bye to your mother not knowing when you’d see her again. You invited her to yours but she was quick to turn it down.

“it’s your wedding night I can’t do that.” she blushed and you rolled your eyes.

You were not going to be doing anything with him—you can’t even imagine it-- let alone would you be staying in the same house.

It’s the new age; you don’t have to stay in the same house with your marriage partner. Not if you don’t have anything for each other anyways.

You both sit at either end of the car, staring out the window.

Your leg bounces, as you tease at your nails. Your father would curse at you for that, but honestly, he’d curse at so many other things he wouldn’t get the chance. A minute ago you discovered that you could see Jungkook’s reflection and it fueled your anger. You shake your head. Trying not to be childish you no longer stare at the window, there was never anything for you anyways.

Jungkook barely said bye to his parents or friends, he couldn’t when he was too busy wondering where his mother was or why she couldn’t just stay longer. But she promised to talk later.

Though he doubts it’s going to come.

He can’t go home. Since it’s night, his mother can’t drive (doesn’t want to.) And his dad can’t at night. Namjoon drove them to his. They’ll be leaving later on. And even though he knows that the night is short, even that would be too long to be around them.

She never even said congratulations.

“Can i stay at yours?” he speaks into the silence, its dumb to ask considering you don't like him much right now.

You should’ve cooled down now, at least. Though he can tell you’re dreading his presence.

“No.” Its so stupid of him to even ask “You’re not homeless are you?” it’s funny how embarrassment can transition to anger so smoothly.

“it’s fine.” He was stupid for asking. But the thought of going home right now is probably worse than the feeling you feel if hating him. He was just hoping for that part of you that always welcomed him. “i’m not gonna beg.” It’s a chant he’s been telling himself since he was a kid. Has it been effective...somebody else would have to be the judge of that.

“Didn’t expect you to.” You preferred he didn’t speak at all. Let alone bring up the idea of you being in one box again...hasn’t he had enough?

A silence eats at both of you until be breaks it.

“My parents are staying there.”

You turn to look at him. He doesn’t look to you. You turn back with a frown.

Why is he telling you that? He loves to be the victim so bad. So what? He wants pity from you?

“House not big enough?”

“No.” Maybe if he had a larger house he’d be able to hide in his many rooms.

“You don’t speak anymore?” Why the fuck are you even talking. Shut up.

“We spoke before the wedding.” He watches the neon lights change as the driver drives buy everything. Right now, with how he's feeling,  he'd either be in a club or a girl’s bed. None of that now. He has to endure it all or find another method. “But last time was on her birthday. It was my dad i spoke to though.” He can remember the way his voice lowered in tone and excitement when his father picked up instead.  “She didn’t even pick up her own phone.”

Your try not to think further but you would expect that from his mother. “Your dad looked happy.” At least for him. You didn’t get to speak to them but you saw it. You wish you could’ve spoken to his father. He’s a lovely man.

“He was. And your da-“ he’s gotten to comfortable but he doesn’t realize.

“You can if you want.” You interrupt, you're not going to get into that.

His head snaps to you but you hide behind your palm over your mouth, almost like you regret speaking the words. “Doesn’t sound like you want me there.” He runs a hand through his hair. He told Seokjin not to use this gel. He cringes at the tackiness of it.

“i’ll just stay at nam-”

“Don’t be so smug.” There it is. You lasted longer than you thought.

“Me?” but he’s the only person you're talking to so it must be him.

“Yeah. Take the offer or leave it.”

His chuckle lasts two breathes. “I want you to hear yourself...”  he prepares to mock your tone. “you can if you want. Does that sound genuine?”

Maybe it’s not. Maybe you just want him to shut up.

“Take it or leave it.” You ignore his false recreation of you.

The silence falls again. This time he has something to think about.

He doesn’t want to be at his, and he doesn’t want to bother Seokjin. He could go to namjoon’s but its too far, and even still the older would have too many questions. He doesn’t want to deal with that too.

Your attitude is honestly manageable.

“You still fucking amaze me.”

-

He eyes everything that he sees, its definitely like you. Did you just move in? Cause its not decorated in any sort of way. The pale grey and cream walls lay interchangeably on each wall.

It’s still nice though.

“You’ll sleep here.” You say opening your guest bedroom,  just as simple as the rest of your house. Is your bedroom the same?

You reach into the closet where you store the sheets and pull them out one by one.

"But i wanted to sleep with you.” The look you give him when he says that is laughable. Can you not decern or take a joke. “i’m joking.” He laughs awkwardly.

He shouldn’t be joking with you, you’re not interested. “Don’t. I could kick you out.”

He laughs drier, but you don’t catch it cause of the ruffling of the blanket you pull out.

“Do it.” He says, not knowing how serious he is. He takes off his tie and throws it on the dresser. He’s so like taehyung,  and just like taehyung he’ll have to learn the hard away about how you like things in your apartment. “Would only take minutes for an uber to arrive.”

Is he really trying you? Does he think you care  if he’s walking out the street in the middle of the night? Scoff. “Just take the fucking covers.”

And that's all. All he needs are here and you can finally to your room and relax. That's all you really want to do right now.

“yn?” You roll your eyes when he calls out your name before you retreat out the room.

“What.”

He'll ignore. “i have nothing to change into.” He spreads his arms for you to take in his attire, like you haven’t already been burdened with the sight.

You groan. You have no idea what you could give him to wear, does he think this is some hotel. But as you rummage through the closet of your own room, you manage to pull out some sweats and a t-shirt from an ex. “here.” You say bringing it to him.

He eyes them once, then twice then he looks at you. You definitely don’t own those, their too masculine.  So now he’s compelled to ask.

“Who are those from?”

What does it matter, you wanna cuss out but choose not to.

“An ex, take it or not. I don’t care.” You really don’t care. You’ve done Your part and you’re not required to do more.

“i don’t either” he doesn’t mind walking around here like he does at home. “...but i’m not wearing that. and out of respect i wouldn’t want to walk around here naked.”

You mumble about him being a baby.  Can’t he just wear it. They’re good, clean and would definitely fit him. So what if they were from an ex? You would...would you?

“What do you want me to give you my shorts?”

“i would prefer.” He retorts quickly.

And you know this conversation won’t go anywhere, if your just give him what he wants and right now you’re willing to do that only because its gonna benefit you.

“Oh my gosh you’re so unbelievable.”

“I’m not as bad as you think.”

“i wish.” You mumble.

Retreating into your room and rummaging one more you manage to find something he could wear. You hope he can. Unfortunately it’s only bottoms.

“Here these are Taehyung’s.” You present the linen pajama pants that Taehyung had left some time ago and never bothered to get back. You stretch your hand out lazily and he just stares at them. “If you won’t take these then you can call that uber.” You don't look at him when you say you say the words, it's more the smirk on his lips that you look at.

You relax when he reaches out to take them. He’s like dealing with a toddler.

“i don’t think he likes me much.” He adds making you stay in the room. Jungkook still looks around. It irritates you when he sits on your bed. He shouldn’t be this comfortable and blending in with the environment.

“I don’t blame him.” You fold your arms. He takes off his shoes and when you stare at them hard as he lines them up.

You want to get out of this dress too. Maybe soak it a little. Bright and early tomorrow your gonna take it to the dry cleaners.

“We should talk don’t you think?”

Your body stiffens.

“i’ve had a long day.”

Like you hadn’t shared the same day.

“We had the same day.” He informs you.

You laugh.

“i don’t remember you walking don’t the aisle to your ex.”

He pauses at unbuckling his belt...you should really walk out.

“Really?”

It clicks that you did have the same day, but you had it worse cause he didn’t seem like he cared. “Whatever...” you roll your eyes.

You clean this room everyday, even though you rarely expect any guests apart from taehyhng and Jisoo who most of the time stay in your room.

So it’s irritating and weird that all your efforts of cleaning and everything you've done in this room goes to...him.

“Some would say i’ve had it worse.”

Of course he would think that. But what some would say doesn't matter.

“You wanna be the victim so bad.”

It offends him how you just assume, you never care to ask.

“i don’t wanna be anything.” He shakes his head denying the claim. “i’m not the one who wants to argue.”

The laugh that leaves your mouth is sharp and dismissive. You're about to lose your mind. Now you can be free just being the two of you. No pretend touches or posing for cameras.

“i don’t want to argue. Just to let you know. ” you barely want to talk to him. Why the hell would you want to argue? its not your fault you get angry when he opens his mouth.

“Then why are we still talking?”

You swallow. Who does he think he is? Does he realise he’s walking around in your house, wearing your clothes and in your sheets?

“it’s my house. And you’re barely a guest just to let you know.” Your voice raises with each word. He can’t talk to you like that. He should be apologising. He should be a little more respectful and grateful that he’s here right now and not in the cold. He should get off his high horse.

“You should call that uber.”

He sighs at your words. How much of it can he take? You’re making this hard for him.

Making him feel like it's a waste of time.

“Call it, Yn.”

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

A/n: 😏😏 what did you think? I hope you liked it.

anyways I hope you enjoyed.

same time next week?

Lets discuss in the replies 🖐😊

taglist:

@lovingkoalaface @granataepfelchen @jksusawife @notsevenwithyou @llallaaa @kmpj9 @lryf @smileyshaven @dragonflygurl4 @mar-lo-pap @blueberriesm @vantelover1306 @bjoriis @alana4610

note: to join taglist just inbox.

every note, reply and reblog is appreciated.

[kruxton]

ok so ive gone through with the touchstarved demo (i forgot what backstory i chose 💔 not sure if this matters to what i'll be yapping about) and leander's route was the last one i did - went crazy about the other 4 too but i need to talk about HIM

this guy is FASCINATING. objectively fascinating. out of all the 5 characters this guy baffles me the most. token nice guy that is a bit... TOO nice, right? and so as ive done with the rest i take notes about interesting dialogues or scenes cause i like fleshing out the characters in my head completely, and this guy???? i wrote about him 10x more than the others. and i dont even like him as a romance option yet. he truly is just such a compelling character

warning for spoilers (?) of the demo

im just going to preface this with the fact that i have maybe only played a visual novel like once before this and that was YEARS ago. i dont know if im reading too much into it all and that everything's just a 'that's how it works in these games' thing or not so!!! there's that. AND i only just discovered this game a few days ago (on the same day they updated actually) so the fandom discussions r very new to me

so by the end of the demo you're given the option to follow one of the characters after the drink at the bar, and no matter who you choose you're going to end up talking about the other 4 as well. something different I noticed for leander's dialogue was that for every person you'd ask about, he would always ask what you thought about them first. every single one. none of the others did this, they would just speak their mind, but leander ALWAYS ASKED FIRST. and the two options you had were to say something positive or something negative about them

and depending on how you answered those questions, leander's response was STAGGERINGLY different. whenever you would choose a positive answer (eg: saying Ais was 'honest' instead of 'a jerk'), leander would go "yadda yadda sure but that guy's dangerous and not to be trusted" - essentially. im generalising to make my point but this was the vibes he let off. and his character would be all pissed and frowning, worried for the MC's safety, acting all protective and shit.

but then u turn around and redo the dialogue option, choosing the negative one instead, and without fail leander's reply would be 'haha yeah but he's not all that bad.' (again, generalising). even so far as to say he's seen mhin's 'soft spot' before, and saying the senobium was cruel for imprisoning vere (which, by the way is completely contradictory to what he would say if we chose 'I feel bad for him.' (positive option) - he literally says VERBATIM that vere 'should be caged'). and i can't help but feel like this must be on purpose. the devs HAD to have done this on purpose its too good of a character trait to just be some sort of writing flaw

and by character trait i mean his whole nice guy shtick. i think its all an act and he's a lying two faced bitch. yup.

a line i remember distinctly was him lightheartedly saying he was jealous and wanted to keep the MC all to himself, which im going back to now after playing through all the options in this scene and like. oh i GET him now.

this man gets jealous whenever the MC shows affection for literally any other character and bites back with something to incriminate said character in MC's eyes. but if the MC says something bad about anyone, he has to keep up his shtick and be the mediator again. the nice guy that gets along with everyone.

now that ive written this i realise that this might literally just be a Very Common Archetype that i just rarely indulge in, but I wanna finish this off with the fact that I still think his story and personality is easily my favourite, and being able to sort of decipher this part of his story through the mechanics of a visual novel with multiple routes is SO Fun. its like damn i wish i could do this in real life to see if people are lying to me or not

anyways the touchstarved demo is peak i cant wait for when the game releases YAYYYYY

[yunamoona]

a/n: it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written something that wasn’t an essay for a class, so here’s something I’ve wrote as practice 🩶 that being said, feel free to and please do send me requests in asks! I’d love the practice ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა Short desc on what I’ll write in my pinned post for the time being

but let’s talk about Gojo and Nanami’s friendship/nonfriendship and my favorite headcanon of it for a sec,

q: Where did Nanami get his tie?

a: it was a gift from Gojo.

Nanami’s speckled yellow tie is a gaudy addition to his otherwise professional and cohesive ensemble. Which begs the question: why does he wear it and where did he get it from??

I like to think that upon his return to the jujutsu world, the former salaryman didn’t really care about something as grand as setting himself apart from other sorcerers, but wasn’t too partial to the idea of being aligned with them either.

Thus his choice of dress; the tan suit, blue button up, and loafers. Practical and comfortable, as well as something he’s used to. But he could never find the right tie to match. Despite his fondness of patterns and being a man of decent tastes, nothing would stuck. Windowpane, lattice, houndstooth. Black, red, brown— nothing seemed right. He couldn’t care less, honestly. There were more important things to worry about than the consistency of his tie. Like his accounts and how much money would go in and out of them this month. That didn’t stop it from itching at the back of his mind, however. So much so he developed the unconscious habit of adjusting it. Gojo must’ve caught onto that.

Gojo.

Nanami had never liked the man, or respected him for that matter. He only begrudgingly acknowledged that he was the strongest and most capable sorcerer. Gojo was born that way, it wasn’t a fact he could refute, nor would he try to. It’s important to be realistic. But that didn’t make the man any less of a nuisance.

“Nanamiiiin, glad to have you back on the team!”

“I’m a teacher now, did’ja know? Grading assignments is such a drag though. I’ve started just putting smiley faces on all that paper stuff— not like a jujutsu sorcerer needs to know the quadratic formula, anyway.”

“Heyyy, Nanami?” Snort, “your fly’s down.”

Every minute he wasn’t actively on a mission during work hours made him wish he’d never left his old nine to five. He wasn’t oblivious either, he deduced his own grim theory for why Gojo couldn’t stop clinging to him. The only explanation had to be process of elimination; they’d both lost someone from their graduating classes, one way or another. A friend— a best friend. Now he supposed that whatever gap Suguru Geto left behind was meant to be filled by him in Gojo’s mind. It made logical sense that someone like Gojo would cope that way.

Nanami’s not a cruel man. He wouldn’t voice a revelation like that aloud, no matter how annoying Gojo was. Instead he deflected and avoided him.

Gojo wants to get a drink after work? Ignore him, walk away.

He wants to play a game? Just ignore him— when he saw he wasn’t getting any significant reaction he’d give up and move on to the next person. Sooner or later.

Juvenile dick drawings planted in his pockets? It’s hard to not track down the bastard and stuff the scrap of paper down his damn throat. Just ignore him. Ignore, ignore, ignore, ignore—

“For you.”

Nanami’s brow quirked in suspicion at the small bag brimmed with tissue paper Gojo held before him. His eyes went from Gojo, to the bag, and then to Gojo again.

The white haired man leisurely whirled the bag around his pointer, head craned to one side as he spoke with a smarmy grin, “it’s your birthday, right? Or, was your birthday, a few days ago.” It was almost 4 months ago. “Happy cake day.”

On one hand, Kento was raised to never refuse kind gestures, lest he be rude. One the other hand, this was Gojo and perhaps he could make an exception to that moral.

“I picked it out just for youuu,” Gojo crooned in a sing-song, gesturing the bag towards him. Whatever, Nanami could care le— “it’s reeaaally expensive and nonreturnable.” Dammit.

With a heavy long suffering sigh, Nanami hooked the gift bag straps over his fingers, ignoring the widening grin from Gojo as he reluctantly accepted it. With tepid lethargy he pushed aside the plain tissue paper, pinching the cloth underneath between two fingers to hold up before his eyes. A tie. An abhorrent one, at that.

An odd, murky yellow with dark splotches at random that he supposed was supposed to be cheetah print. Ironic. He hated asymmetrical, chaotic patterns like cheetah print. A detail he guessed Gojo probably didn’t pick up on.

“It’s ugly.” Nanami stated bluntly.

Gojo shook his head with a waggle of his finger and tutting of his tongue. “Mm-mm~ it’s designer.”

Nanami stared at him, really stared at him for a long moment. Trying to decipher why he’d even bother with a birthday gift when he obviously didn’t even care to know when his actual birthday was.

“I appreciate the gesture. However, it doesn’t change my opinion of you.” It was more of a drawn line than it was a thank-you, attempting to bait him into revealing whatever his weird intention was.

“I know.” A simple response that beared more questions than it answered.

“It doesn’t make me respect you, either.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

At the bottom of the bag was a similarly fashioned white and black handkerchief. And those two items he got as his very late 22nd birthday gift were the last he ever received from Gojo.

Years later, Nanami’s put his assumption of Gojo trying to “fill a blank” to rest. They aren’t best friends, but there is a camaraderie in shared experiences and past. And he knows now that Gojo understood that— had always understood that. That you can’t simply replace a person, nor would either of them ever try. All considered he still wouldn’t call him a friend— dismissing him instead as the obnoxious coworker he tolerates.

[fluffyenergee]

Maybe a little request, treat it like you like. BUT! for me it's so frustrating when getting your foot wear slowly pulled off >///<

The ler taking their time to sloooowly untie the shoelaces and then sloooooowly pull down the socks. IMAGINE MEDIC, he wears those high boots that are over his ankles and probably also high socks to prevent abrasions

SO! after my little yapping, how about mercs reaction to such teasing? (=•w•=)

Oh, the scenario is lovely, although about the first part with the "request", I guessed you meant that as in fanfic request since I wrote a few of those tickle fics... Yeah, about that, if that's what you meant, or even if not, I guess that's as good time as any to say that: I don't and won't write requested fanfics. No. I have bad impression of that. I used to do that. Those fecking anons who requested never even said thank you. I'm not talking about you, of course, but yeah, they were anons who never even acknowledged I wrote something specifically for them. I only write when I get in the mood enough, sometimes they're in a reply for an ask, yeah, cause I like them in that way, but that's ocassional.

I'm not taking fic requests and never will again, if I post something I put a lot of effort in, then I want interactions, preferably comments. I'm not saying this to be entitled or anything, it's not that I need hundreds of interactions, and it's not that I think everyone will like it and as such should comment, but the hearts/likes to comments ratio is dreadful. I would take 1 comment over 10 likes, even more honestly. And since that's just not a thing I won't do it. Having said that, I am forever grateful to those who commented/said in a reblog something nice aboutmy fic. After all that, this isn't specifically for you, anon, of course, I don't even know if this is what you meant, but you did give me an excuse to say it :p.

Comment on stuff you like, on stuff you want to see more, likes are nice at best, but comments are what's really important. On art, on fanfics, on anything you like. Or next day you won't find desired fan content at all. I don't even mean my stuff, my stuff is bleh at most, but I can't accept seeing other people's amazing fan content with likes but very few nice words said about them. Comment. Or reblog with saying something. Or tell them in an ask. Did I mentions those people do it for free?

Now that I finished my yapping let's get to what you actually came here for, cause as I said it's a lovely scenario, and quite frankle perfect! I shall say more with each merc:

Medic: Let's start with the man of the hour himself - Scout Medic, since you talked about him I thought it was only right. I can go with him wearing high socks, oh for sure. Medic 🤝 Scout - wearing high socks. Anyway, in this scenario he's obviously very excited but the teasingly slow speed gets to him so much he might tell his ler to accelerate it. Either way, he's definitely wiggling his toes to tease them while twitching in his spot, all excited.

Scout: Hey look, it's... him. The guy who definitely wears long socks :D. And silly ahh shoes. This kind of teasing really gets to him, especially considering his feet are his most ticklish spot. He wiggles in place, his foot shakes while the foot wear is being taken off, and he's all red and blushy trying to hide his face and not to combust while talking his ler out of it. He doesn't really mean it.

Soldier: Brooo, he will kick his ler, be careful with him, hehe. Even if he knows damn well what's happening he will say that his ler is just doing all that to admire his "American feet". Of course he would. Although it's so flustering if prolonged I think that while his feet would move the rest of him would freeze and/or shake in anticipation.

Pyro: hey, he let his ler take off his shoes and socks, nice. Pyro keeps letting out muffled, of course, noises of excitement, his entire body wiggling in anticipation. He'll tease and keep moving his feet, even poking at his ler to playfully shove them away, but aside from that he's not exactly trying to stop it.

Demoman: He's the one who'd rather see just how close his feet are to being bare aka ready to be tickled. So yes, he tries looking away but can't keep his gaze away for too long while letting out nervous chuckles.

Heavy: He's holding onto his outstretched legs, head down to hide his flustered expression including biting down his smile. He knows what's coming, his feet are his 2nd most ticklish spot, uh oh. He'd rather not observe as his feet become more and more vulnerable but if his ler calls him out on that he will do it as stone-faced as possible.

Engineer: He's looking away, blushing. He's not saying he wants it but he's not protesting either, hmmmmmmm. Might chuckle nervously before the tickling starts. Yeah, he's real flustered. Also, look out for that gunslinger.

Sniper: He's kinda paralized with panicked anticipation. He knows what's coming and such teasing is too much for him. His eyes are closed, lips sealed shut, probably hiding his face with his silly hat (take it from him and observe) and his ticklish feet are twitching.

Spy: First of all, how dare you remove his foot wear? He's too French for that... smh. But seriously, he gets quite stiff trying to get his feet free without looking too desperate but at the same time making sure he doesn't get... brrr... tickled. And all this teasy removal is not doing him any good, let me tell you. At least if you ask him.

Well, this sure is the first time I stared at their boots so much. Aside from Scout. I stared at his shoes before. A lot :). I love his knee-lenght socks also. Seriously. They're one of my favourite things about him. You know what would be better than Scout wearing knee-lenght socks? Scout wearing thigh-lenght socks.

:D

I also love high boots so much, I'm obsessed with Medic wearing those too. And also Soldier wears those kind of boots hello? Awesome choice.

You can kinda tell in which order I wrote those based on the fact that as I wrote I used more and more ideas so the last ones I wrote are the shortest ones and the other way around.

[magical-girl-coral]

💕 for the ask game.... narabees please my leige.....it can be as cutesy or them being awful for eachother as you want... go crazy

Gonna make this a part two to the last fic I wrote you for about them

Send me emoji(s) and I'll write a drabble

"EVERYONE, IT'S TIME TO PLAY SPIN THE BOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTLE!"

Nara woke up from her little trance thanks to some lunatic with a megaphone in one hand and an empty wine bottle in the other, forcing her to wake up back to the real world where a very wet Kristen was now grinning even more wildly than before.

"Spin the bottle? We's fucking miss this!" She jumped out of the pull and grabbed Nara by the arm (great goddess her muscles were glistening and flexing), making them both bolt straight into the manor. "Last time this happened, Aelwyn got jumped on by Ivy, Gorgug made out with Oisin three times and Adaine got her kisses in from five different lesbians. You're gonna love it!"

Nara's face was beyond on fire. It was molten lava. "Wait, wait, I'm not ready for this-!"

But it was too late by then. Next thing Nara knew, she was sitting in the circle with the most beautiful women she has ever seen and some okay to decent looking men. Looking at Fabian hurt her though. She was sure he was a lesbian when they met and that fact is going to haunt for the rest of her life.

Said host was also standing over them with the wine bottle and the authority of a battle master. "Alright, here's the rules; if a bottle is cocked and landed on two people, we roll it again as threesomes are not in the rule book. In this house, we honor the cock."

From somewhere near them, Nara heard the groans of a tired goblin.

"Secondly, if two people got horned up from a make out session, please leave to use one of the empty bedrooms upstairs. We know you think you hide can your boners well. I can safely say you cannot."

An embarrassed blue dragonborn from the left of her blushed and coughed into his fist.

"And finally, if you are in a committed monogamous relationship, you have no right to be surprised if your partner comes over pissed off. You have crossed a line neither of you discussed before so this is fully on you. Are we good?"

Everyone agreed with him.

"Good. Now as your wonderful host, I shall be the one to spin and quickly leave because my girlfriend isn't here and I need to go sulk somewhere private with The Ball. Enjoy yourself to all!"

And with that, the game was on.

The first few rounds weren't too bad. The bottle landed between Ragh and Gorgug with Mary Ann giving a thumbs up as they made out. It landed next on Lucy and Ivy, who gave each other a quickly friendly kiss before departing. Afterwards it landed on Oisin (the blue dragonborn apparently) and Ruben, with the former jumping on top of the wizard and landing in a good comedic theatrical kiss.

Nara laughed with the rest of the ground, feeling some of the tension leave her shoulders.

Until the bottle of course had to land between her and Kristen.

Cause why the fuck not?

Kristen shifted in her seat, the top of her shoulders blushing with her face. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. It's just a game after all."

Nara glared at her. First she stole her girlfriend, now she's poking at her pride?

Oh it's on.

Nara stood up, walked to Kristen, grabbed her by the back of her stupid head and smacked their lips together hard enough for it to echo across the first floor.

During the fifteen seconds of their kiss, Nara had control over the movement of their lips. She decided where to move what and where to how they both like it. During that time, Kristen gently cupped Nara's cheek with delicacy that would have angered her more if it didn't feel so nice. By the time they were done, Kristen was on her back, her pupils were fully dilated and her lips looked plump and pink.

Nara stood up and dusted her dress. "I believe I proved my point. If you don't mind, I shall excuse myself for the rest of the evening."

She left without bothering to hear what the others had to say, going around the manor and finally finding a room that didn't smell of alcohol, drugs or sex.

She closed the door shut and flung herself onto the bed, screaming as loud as she could into the bed until her vocal cords gave out. She then gathered herself together and knelt by the window, crossing her hands together in prayer as she stared at the moon.

"Great goddess of the moon, the wolves and of my heart. She who lights our way in our darkness nights, guides us through the blackest hour, and feels our heart with hope, please do not let me fall in love with this fucking disaster of a lesbian."

[airbenderedacted]

WOY's writing team sat together and collaborated on ideas for episodes to make. Plus, the whole main story arc, aka The Dominator Arc, had been mapped out by Craig McCracken before they even got working on the individual S2 episodes and how they'd go down. Like you said, the show makes it super clear that Dominator is completely irredeemable... which is why never in a million years would Craig have approved the creation of an episode that would serve to plant the seeds for her redemption. The Night Out did not exist for that purpose. It shows us that she's lonely, which informs us of the reason why she targets the mains so methodically and keeps coming back to torment them again and again instead of just killing them outright whenever she has the chance. Her loneliness and need for socialization is what fuels her M.O. for evildoing. It doesn't make her sympathetic (far from it because her loneliness is self-infliced), it just arguably makes her even more of a sadist! She keeps people around just to play around with ways to break them further than she already has or has already attempted.

The Night Out is the first time we really get to see this clearly laid out in front of us. The way the episode ends also makes it crystal clear that her awfulness is what CAUSES her loneliness. Sylvia's friendship doesn't make her reconsider being a bad guy, doesn't dig up some iota of good in her that makes her open up to a change of heart. She just isn't good in the depths of her heart; she's an asshole who LIKES being an asshole and that's what makes her first and only friendship fall apart. The destroyer is alone because destroying everything you ever come across, including people and every relationship you could ever have, naturally leaves you like that. Alone.

And the heartfelt moment she has on the rooftops with Sylvia before they get caught by those biker goons? It is signficant and it does look like it makes her open to changing her ways since she does something in that scene that contrasts her typical behavior pretty strongly: she looks at the gorgeous view of the planets before her and actually appreciates them. Or, well, she more or less hesitantly agrees with Sylvia's appreciation of it being an incredible sight. But does that mean that there's something of a good person deep down inside of her? Her, the person whose greatest passion in life is demolishing the hopes and homes of every innocent life (and then sometimes also taking those innocent lives) she comes across? No! All that scene tells us is that she has the capacity to appreciate something other than death and destruction. It doesn't really imply that she could come to appreciate other things more than her passion for her evildoing, and the scene that comes right after it arguably tells us that she could never! At the very best, it conveys that the capacity to change is within her, but that's true of any well-written character because a well-written charcter will feel alive, and anything that's alive IS capable of change. The most important thing we're meant to take away from that scene on the rooftops is that it shows us that she could be different, even if only the slightest bit different, so that the rest of the episode (and the rest of the entire season) can really drive home that she decidedly WON'T.

Lord Dominator was not out of character in The Night Out, the crew has stated before that it's an important episode for fleshing out her character, nor did The Night Out deviate from the planned story arc for S2.

So in one Wander Over Yonder episode, it attempted to redeem Lord Dominator. Now if you watched the show, you know why that's a horrible idea. While I love Lord Dominator, she should not be redeemed. Since she said that she outright only destroys planets and commits genocide for fun, and has no interest in being redeemed in her villian song "I'm the bad guy" (Banger song btw) and then I found out that the episode was written by Nate Stevenson and I immediately though "Oh, yeah, that makes sense." Since he is obsessed with redeeming villians, even though Lord Dominator has no sad backstory and literally only does these things for fun. She didn't get redeemed, THANK GOD! But it was certainly meant to plant the seeds for her redemption, but she didn't actually get redeemed

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girl found dead in a hidden room.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[unnonexistence]

one of my friends is a biologist & i was really amused hearing some of her stories yesterday because they put into context just how believable newt's kaiju drift is as Shit A Biologist Would Do. like my friend has personally met both a guy who got infected with a botfly larva and didn't do anything to remove it (because he just didn't mind), and another guy who identified a tapeworm species by intentionally exposing himself to it (he had it narrowed down to 2 species and needed to know if it was the one that would infect humans) (it was)

[realtapiocafan]

‘MARRS ROOKIEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS’??????? tell us more 🙏

for those of you who follow my fics: yes this is the 'notice me senpai' fic! i am making progress! slow progress! but progress nonetheless!

here's the lead-up to that line. set the morning after ja'marr's birthday, in which ja'marr invites jayden/malik/brian back to the condo that joemarrjj live in :

still a draft i will be adding more 😤

currently working on the scene right before this one (in which jayden is watching malik and brian wake up -bc as malik has reminded us many many times -jayden wakes up at five every morning so i think his internal clock is a little too set for him to sleep in) and the scene right after this one (in which ja'marr waltzes into the scene in only briefs, and proceeds to make out with justin)

[seventh-district]

7am, eating cold leftover teriyaki stir-fry for breakfast and crying over blorbos

[kubb-is-a-swedish-lawn-game]

i've encountered a strange phenomenon in which it is easiest to write a character's voice the less you know and care about the inner workings of their mind

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

imo everyone on earth should be talking about Him (don't want this showing up in the tag even though it's not a diss) but everytime i go to the tag and there's only like 3 new posts i'm like. oh yeah almost no one cares except me and like 5 other ppl on here

i ran out of tags KFHSJENNXN i don't think that's literally ever happened to me before anyways don't read them because it's just me being insane as per usual

[spikes-got-anger-issues]

Becoming obsessed with a new show is so insane like I'm not even finished with S1 of LR but here I am sitting with a 17,200+ word outline of a fic that isn't even half conceptualized along with five other +2,500 word outlines that also aren't half conceptualized and about 25+ fic ideas jotted down in my notes. I'm feeling completely normal about Lab Rats 🫶