#he would of died but sorry I guess it’s more important that you don’t destroy like all of Japan

[jackdaniel69nice]

People I think dark shadow could of bodied

Overhaul

Gigantomachia

Thank you and good night

[venomsrealgf]

Hazard X Reader - Can't live without ya

Hi hi hi hihi This was the request from anon for Hazard X Reader where reader got hurt and hazard goes into rage yada yada. (sorry) I had a bit trouble thinking of a good enough thing where this could happen so i just decided to rewrite based on the Hazard Hero Trailer, hope ya dont mind anon! <3 Its a short one!!! (again sorry) :,D TW: A bit detailed gorey shit - It was supposed to be a quick mission, an easy one. Drive up, sneak in, steal the weapon and get out. Instead an alarm rang out, soldiers flooding the oasis. It was hard to see through the flashing red lights, and the smoke started to fill the room from all the gunshots. All four of them took cover between the tables or the pillars in the room, their guns drawn out and taking shots whenever possible, but they were heavily outnumbered. (Name) and BoomSlang were behind a pillar, a little bit less covered, but not in any life threatening danger. “I told you we needed extra guns, UGH!” BoomSlang cursed, taking a shot before retreating to cover again. “You really should listen to her more!” (Name) yelled out, using her (gun type) to take a shot, successfully eliminating one of the guards. Hazard waited for the canister to fill with the purple ooze from the weapon oasis had kept hidden, once the process was done he took it and immediately jumped behind the counter for cover, right next to suzy. “We can’t keep this up!” BoomSlang said again, not able to take any shots with the amount of fire they were met with. Hazard took a moment to think, his gaze landing on the container filled with the purple ooze, his eyes sharpened. Anyone who knew him would immediately know what he was thinking. An explosion shattered the glass next to Suzy who then noticed his gaze. “You can’t! s’too unstable! We don’t know what it might do to you!” Suzy tried to tell him. (Name) picked up on the distressing voice of her friend, she stared at their interaction, her eyes widening. Oh no no no, she couldn’t let him do that! What if he completely lost his mind, started attacking them all, or what if the ooze just destroyed him from the inside out. The negatives weighted out the positives by a landslide. She did not want to lose the one who cared for most, her other half. “Hazard no! You can’t! Please, for once listen to your friends!” She yelled, afraid. “What do I always say, Suzy n (Name)?” Hazard asked with a slight smirk, not hearing (Name). “If you’re in it with me…” Suzy began, becoming more convinced by the moment. “You’re in it for life.” Hazard ended the sentence.

“No no no! Suzy do not inject his back with that ooze!” (Name) yelled, sprinting out of her cover to try and stop her, completely forgetting the ongoing fire around them. “(Name) NO!” BoomSlang yelled, panicked, trying to grasp onto the running girl, but it was too late. Hazard and Suzy both stopped what they were doing, their heads snapped towards BoomSlang's yell. Hazards eyes widening as he saw (Name) running towards them, her hand extended towards him. Time seemed to move in slow motion as the bullets barely missed her every step she took, her only concern was to get to her partner. She knew what she did was foolish, she might get hit, she might die. But she doesn’t care about any of that, she just wants to feel Hazard’s arms around her for the last time if she truly is going to do this, just in case the worst happens. Hazard extended his arm towards her, trying to snatch her to safety, away from the danger that could end her life in an instant. With just one well shot bullet…. He yelled out, Suzy did too. His heart was racing, he had never felt such fear before, not even when he almost died himself. I guess at that time he didn’t have anything important to fight for, he had no one to care for. But now… now all he wanted was to keep her safe, but how could he when she was the one putting her life on the line. Then it happened. Her pupils shrinking as a bullet swooped right through her extended hand’s shoulder. Her blood spilling into the air as she fell onto the floor, gasping for air. Her body in shock, full of adrenaline still not really registering the pain. She fell onto the floor right in front of Suzy and Hazard, BoomSlang watched in horror as she fell down, not knowing where the bullet really hit. Time stopped. He felt nothing, he could hear nothing. The only thing he saw on repeat was her getting shot, her body falling onto the floor with a loud thud, her blood staining the clean tiles under her. He could feel his body acting on its own as he turned to look at Suzy with this scary… scary look. A look he had never had before, it scared both Suzy and BoomSlang. “Do it Suzy. Now.” He said with no emotion in his voice. She reluctantly did as told, fearing he would do it himself and mess something up if she didn’t. She placed the canister on his back and the liquid oozed into his cybernetics, his head snapped upwards, his expression becoming feral almost. He let out a loud yell, spikes growing out from his back, his weapon systems maximized. He jumped from out of cover, killing every single soldier in his sight with no mercy. Impaling them with his knife, shooting their brains out. No one would leave alive…. “I’LL TEAR YA ALL DOWN!” He screamed out in anger, the place turned into a fucking massacre. The last soldier who still stood could only feel his knees give out from under him, his body shivering in fear as Hazard walked towards him. Hazard held the man from the collar of his uniform and brought him real close to his face.

“If she dies, just you know… This whole place is burnin’ down. Be glad you ain’t gon’ be here to see it.” Hazard spat at him before slashing the man in half, watching the now lifeless mutilated body smacking against the floor.

He turned around to see BoomSlang and Suzy attending to a wounded (Name). He rushed to their side, they got spooked for a moment before relaxing as they figured his rampage was over now.

“Is she alright???! Talk to me.” He demanded, taking hold of (Name)’s hand-

“She is stable, but we gotta get her back home. Her wound needs tending to. Good thing the bullet only hit her shoulder…” BoomSlang said, with a relieved smile on her face, she knew (Name) was a tough trooper to kill.

-

Back home after her wound got treated, the bullet removed and completely bandaged up she was put into her bed to rest. Didn’t take long for her to wake up with an annoying headache and this ache in her shoulder. She groaned trying to sit up but a hand stopped her. She looked up to see Hazard staring down at her with a gentle smile.

“Uhh.. What happened…” (Name) sighed, Hazard helping her sit up gently.

“You got shot tryin’ to stop Suzy from injecting me with tha’ ooze.”  Hazard explained, pointing at her shoulder.

“Oh… fuck me mate… Sorry for making you worried hun…” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “Ya, you should be sorry. I thought I’d lost ya for good, can’t live without ye bonny.” He said, holding her close to him, his face in her neck. “Oh you big baby… I’m  a tough nut to crack…” She giggled, rubbing his back in a soothing manner. “So how did the rest of the mission go, everyone got out unharmed.. except me?” (Name) asked, eager to hear if Suzy and Boom we’re okay. “Yeah, can’t say the same about those soldiers thou. Did a number on em.” Hazard laughed, extending his arm as the purple blade appeared. “Holy shit, when did you get that?!” She asked, surprised and intrigued. “That ooze really did wonders for me, good thing we got it.” He answered proudly. “That’s good thats good…” Before realization kicked in. “SHE INJECTED YOU WITH THE OOZE??!!!!!” - I fear this one sucked ass ngl i could do sm better.

[not-handsome-enough]

DICK KNUBBLER MAYE STILL BE ALIVE

Kinda

Alright before I do anything take this with a grain of salt, cause it’s probably a continuity error / can be easily explained away BUT if you all would like to hold onto some hope please just hear me out. And also it offers a question for yall.

Alright! So!

On twitter someone had asked Brendon and Gene about Murmaider III and its placement on Dethalbum IV ( which btw shoutout to Gene’s wife that was brilliant ) and Brendon had mentioned that what sets 3 apart from the other two was that it was more dreamlike, and that it was made AFTER Army of the Doomstar. Now since Brendon and Gene weren’t the ones to make the order on the Album we can’t set a timeline for the songs ( though they are set in Brutal to Dreamlike order once again shoutout to Genes wife you goddess ) we can at least say that some songs were made post Army. In fact we could also make some assumptions about what songs were made DURING army. So I’ll separate that list here.

NOTE : YALL DONT NEED TO READ THIS PART THIS IS JUST ME RUNNING WITH “ some songs were made post AOTD which ones could they be teehee “ JUST KNOW MURMAIDER AND SOS WERE AFTER KUBBLER DIED OK SORRy I’m not deleting that whole thing I like it

Songs with “ * “ are canon, the rest are personal interpretation.

DURING ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR:

* Aortic Desecration ( the first song of salvation but obviously not )

* SOS ( song of salvation )

Gardener of Vengeance ( Nathan directly references this during the scene where he confides in the band and Knubbler that he doesn’t write songs about hope and he’s just doing what he knows. I believe he wrote and recorded this but felt it wasn’t good enough to be the song of salvation and moved on. HOWEVER the language he used could place this as post AOTD because it sounds more like a thrown out there example kinda like how he figured out SOS in the cave )

Poisoned By Food ( Again I think this is a scrapped song of salvation since besides the actual poisoning of food a lot of the imagery feels like the what the metalocalypse was described like )

BLOODBATH ( guess what another scrapped song of salvation. This one feels like a ‘you don’t scare me I’m going to confidently stop you because if I go down you go down with me’ song. Also it could be Nathan trying to reach out to Magnus since he was one of the people on his list. Also quick note I’m going song by song so I don’t know if I’ll notice if any other songs would reflect the list I just got out of work so I’m not gonna catch it all rn )

Horse of Fire ( this is tricky because lyrics like star still blazing allude to this being written before aortic desecration but also Nathan didn’t have the talk with the whale until the deadline came up in which he had to go with aortic desecration <he wouldn’t have had time to write about the fist or the hand.> But the lyrics don’t have the <we should reach out to the fans> revelation that SOS has. Maybe this was a draft for SOS but I think once Nathan figured out what SOS was meant to be it just came to him naturally. I’m not sure. HOWEVER since the doomstar is referred to as a star that is still blazing and not a portal that’s been destroyed it’s safe to say this is not post AOTD. Either way this is an important song to keep in mind if you look at this speculating )

POST ARMY OF THE DOOMSTAR:

* Murmaider III ( stated by Brendon Small in the interview. He said he feels that the boys would have written this after AOTD and based off of interviews he’s had in the past about his songwriting process it’s hard to not take this as canon so. )

DEADFACE ( I think this is post because while the song plays during the movie only Skwisgaar knew about the possession so the lyrics wouldn’t quite make sense yet. It’s a tricky placement but I can see Skwisgaar playing around with it since he does play the notes during the movie )

Mutilation on a Saturday Night ( this feels so much like a we survived so now we’re gonna party song I can’t see Nathan Skwisgaar or Pickles make an argument for this being a Song of Salvation. Also all the fucked up shit they talk about references what happened during the metalocalypse but it’s spoken in past tense like a ‘hey we fucked shit up but we fixed it so now we’re just gonna keep fucking around haha’)

I am The Beast ( simply cause I don’t see this as something Nathan would write during AOTD but the ‘ I am a beast this is my domain and when I speak you scream my name ‘ could work as a salvation line but it feels too much like a Mutilation Saturday Night ‘I can write whatever I want cause I lived and I’m not gonna hold back’ vibe )

Satellite Bleeding ( this feels like the first song they would have written and recorded after the doomstar died. Kinda like watching the sky clear up after a storm. )

Now despite me rambling on about this I would like to draw attention to what’s canon. Specifically SOS and Murmaider III. These songs came out after Knubbler died. Yet Dethalbum IV credits Knubbler for production.

Drawing your attention to how crediting in the Dethalbum works, each album has a little section for Dethklok to get musical credits and thank whoever and whatever. There’s also production credit and location credit. On ALL of the Dethalbums Knubbler is credited as producer. Cause he’s the producer makes sense yeayeyaeyah. But whenever there’s a change in location or production, there’s additional credits.

ANOTHER NOTE: I DONT HAVE THE KLOK OPERA CD I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE CREDITING SYSTEM LOOKS LIKE ON THERE but if someone happens to be selling that cd outside of eBay please let me know

Let’s look at them.

Dethalbum I ^

Shit ton of credits right, and on the other page which I didn’t take a picture of and can’t because I’m not home at the moment there’s credit to Snakes N Barrels for “Kill You” with each member listed. Take note that songs that are considered exceptions are credited differently and locations not at Mordhaus are credited.

I lied I have the other page. For those without the dethalbum cds the actual credits are usually on another page and “Kill You” got mixed in with it

Anyways

Dethalbum II

Hey Knubbies gets to thank someone this time! Anyways once again Knubbler is credited for production, but also Dethklok. Keep this in mind. Also the fact that different location credited for Murmaider II but it’s recorded at Mordhaus

Dethalbum III

Knubbler credit AND Abigail credit along with Dethklok AND once again location credit is Mordhaus and another fuckass place. Only thing that’s not really credited is Magnus with The Hammer but idk if he was like Toki and William where they play the songs but don’t really write or if he actually wrote The Hammer. I’m not a HammerHead, I’ve seen people interpret him as both, but at the end of the day idrk.

So what about Dethalbum IV

Knubbler is credited. At Deus Keep. Only Knubbler. Only at Deus Keep. “But he’s not credited as a Producer” True! If the album was released in universe it would probably be a producer credit. Especially since Brendon and Ulrich have Producer credit on the page prior. Maybe it’s because Knubbler didn’t make it to the final production stage. Or maybe he’s staying hidden undercover..

Remember earlier. He canonically was not around for two of these songs on this album. He could not have recorded OR mixed SOS or Murmaider III. Even if you don’t fully think that Murmaider III was made Post AOTD, SOS was done post Knubbler death. Hell, the song was dedicated to him by William! But there’s no separate credit for SOS.

If we went on the same basis as previous albums SOS would have been credited to that part of Norway where they traveled to that I forgot the name of and I’m not gonna look up but you get the point. Or even Dethklok would have been credited as production. I could also say something about how Murmaider III wasn’t recorded in the Mariana Trench and how the whale isn’t calling to Nathan anymore but that’s for another day. Right now though, it’s just Knubbler. Just Knubbler and Deus Keep.

Which leads to 3 possibilities.

Knubbler Lives: Knubbler survived ( the flashing things on the ground were teleporters ) and Deus Keep is rebuilt. To celebrate their survival they make Dethalbum IV but don’t release it

Knubbler Died: The band recorded the last few songs on the album at the remains of Deus Keep. Knubblers presets aren’t changed so credit remains to him. Once again not releasing it.

It’s not an album: Dethalbum IV doesn’t exist in universe. That’s why there’s no producer credit. That’s why Nathan doesn’t thank the klokateers ( he thanks the army of the doomstar which is just him thanking fans ). Dethklok recording it post AOTD is more to do with how Brendon records dethalbums than in universe writing.

I like to think that this is just an unreleased album in universe since the record label is more than likely destroyed, but it has the possibility of releasing one day if society is rebuilt to what it once was. But it really depends on if you think the album is canon to the universe. Cause there’s no Mordhaus credit on Dethalbum IV and there’s no way for SOS to have been recorded at Deus Keep and blablabla

something fun to think about tho yk?

TLDR: two songs on dethalbum IV were made after Knubbler death yet the credit doesn’t change for him in the dethalbum so there’s a chance that he recorded and mixed those songs cause he is alive and well horray

[specialagentlokitty]

Daryl x reader - take on the world together

Part 16:

When you woke up you slowly moved out of the van, nodding the Michonne who took your place to watch over the boys instead.

You saw Daryl sat next to Rick and you walked over, taking the cloth of him, and the bottle of water from Daryl.

“You did what you had to do.” You said quietly.

“Would you have done the same thing?” He asked.

You flicked your gaze to meet Ricks before looking away, helping him clean his face of the blood.

“You had to protect your son.”

“Would you have done it?”

“Rick.” Daryl warned.

You raised your hand to him, letting him know that it was okay.

You looked at some of the blood on your hand, and wiped it on your shirt.

“I’ve done the same for less. For nothing. You asked me if I’ve killed people Rick, no, I haven’t. That doesn’t mean I haven’t hurt people, left them in life threatening conditions. This was before the walkers, before everything.”

“Why?”

You shrugged a little.

“It’s the nature of my kind I guess, kill it be killed, but I could never bring myself to kill, that was my downfall.”

You set the cloth and bottle down, resting your arms on your knees.

“I never claimed to be a good person Rick, I never was. I scared people, hurt them, left them half dead, hunted them just because I could. I learned that wasn’t the only way to do things.”

You looked up at him, your red eyes meeting his, and he stared back at you.

“You do what you have to in this world now, to save yourself, to save the ones you love. That’s the most important thing there is.”

“Is that why you came all this way?”

“To protect the ones I care about, yes. You would do anything for your family Rick, I would destroy anything for mine. I would travel thousands of miles, we would both do the same thing.”

He slowly nodded his head.

“If you want to know the story, I’ll let Daryl fill you in. If you want me to go, I’ll go.”

You pushed yourself up, walking a little bit down the road you sat in the middle of it, staring straight ahead while they talked.

You weren’t sure what was going to happen, but you thought maybe it was best hearing everything come from somebody he trusted, his second hand man.

You were looking out on the road for a good amount of time before you heard your name being called, and you stood up to turn around.

You slowly made your way back over.

“I uh… I’m sorry you died.”

You laughed a little.

“Ah, I was going to die one die anyway right?”

This made Rick chuckle.

“Yeah, yeah I guess you’re right. We’re all gonna die one day.”

He held his hand out to you.

“I meant when I thanked you.”

Reaching out, you took it.

“You’re one of us, you’re family.”

You gave a small smile and nodded your head.

He let go and stepped aside so Daryl could stand in front of you.

He untied the fabric from your stomach, and lifted your shirt to see the slowly healing wound.

He could see it was still indented, not fully healing to match the rest of the skin, and in the morning light he could see the burns as well.

You placed your hand over his, lowering your shirt.

“It’s okay…”

“When’s the last time you ate?”

“Daryl it’s fine.”

You tried to move away but he wouldn’t let you.

“Tell me when.”

“I.. I don’t know, okay? I don’t know. But it’s fine.”

He shook his head, and he pulled your jacket and his vest off, pulling down his shirt.

“Here.”

“Daryl no.”

“You’re gonna fuckin’ die if you don’t, you need blood.”

“I’ll be fine.”

You picked his vest up and draped it over his shoulders, smiling softly up at him before picking up your jacket and pulling it on.

Daryl gently took your wrist, making it so you couldn’t escape from the conversation.

“You’re hurt, badly, you get hit once more you’ll die. We’ve just got you back and I’ll be dammed if am gonna let you fuckin’ die.”

“Can’t force me to eat Daryl, and in definitely not feeding on your blood. I’ll find some animals or something.”

“You’re right, I can’t force you.”

He raised his hands and took your face in them, leaning down to kiss you.

You put your hands on his shirt, gripping it tightly as you kissed his back.

You felt him move his hands from you face.

You were so focused on him, the fact that he was actually there with you that you didn’t notice what he was doing.

You only noticed when he pulled away, placing his hand on the back of your head, and shoved his arm into your mouth.

The metallic taste of blood filled your mouth, and without thinking you sank your teeth into his arm.

Daryl held back a noise of pain, and he clenched his jaw tightly.

He placed his hand on the back of your head, leaning forward to kiss your forehead.

He never expected there to be so much pain, but he remembered you explaining why there was so much pain, even if he couldn’t make sense of it.

He rested his chin on your head, playing with the hairs on the back of your neck.

It took a few minutes to realise what you were doing and you quickly pulled away, pushing him back a few steps.

“What the fuck?!”

“I just saved your fuckin’ life!”

“I could’ve killed you!”

He shrugged a little, giving you that taunting grin he always gave you when he did something wrong but it worked out.

“Nah, you wouldn’t ever kill me.”

“Daryl I told you I was fine.”

“And I knew you were bullshitting so guess what Darlin’? It weren’t a choice.”

You scowled at him.

“You’re such a bitch…”

He chuckled, walking over and he placed a finger under your chin so he could tilt your head up a little to look at him.

He moved his hand, using his thumb to wipe the blood from the corner of your mouth, wiping it on your shirt.

He silently reached out, lifting your shirt to see that the wound was healing and he gave his head an approving nod.

“You’re stupid as hell if you think I was just gonna let you die.”

You sighed, taking the cloth from your stomach and walked over, wrapping it around his arm.

You gently tied it, holding your hand over it to stop him from bleeding

“I’m so sorry…”

He sighed.

“Don’t apologise.”

“Daryl I’m sorry…”

“Stop.”

You looked up at him with sad eyes and he sighed, stepping forward, placing his hand on the back of your head to guide you into a hug.

You closed your eyes, wrapped your arms around him, clutching at the fabric of his vest.

“How dud you find us?”

“You smell like shit…”

“Hey, is that the way to speak to the man who saved your life?”

You rolled your eyes.

“You really do. Like seriously Daryl, you have to bathe more.”

“Hey if my stink helped you find us then I suppose I just gotta keep it.”

You laughed, pulling away to look at his grinning face.

Reaching up, you brushed some of his hair from his face, letting you get a better look at his face and he shook his head.

You moved his hair again, this time Daryl let you.

“You’re gross Daryl, seriously when you get a chance you really do have to bathe.”

“Nah.”

“Daryl Dixon, yes. I don’t you teaching Spence it’s fine not to bathe.”

“Ain’t nobody cares about that shit now.”

“It’s called hygiene, yes we do.”

He shrugged a little bit.

“Well tough shit. Now c’mere.”

Daryl tried to hug you and you stepped to the side, grinning up at him.

“Hey!”

He tried again, but he barely just missed you.

He stood there, crossing his arms and you copied him, trying to copy his stern facial expression as well but all you could do was grin at him.

Daryl bit back his own grin.

“Asshole.” He said.

You gestured with your head from him to follow you, and you walked to the side of the road, you sitting with your gaze towards the others, him sitting just in front of you with his gaze behind you.

You sighed a little bit, looking down at your hands.

“Thank you for looking after him…” you said softly.

“I made you a promise didn’t I?”

“Yeah, yeah you did. I’m glad you did.”

Daryl glanced at you before looking back in the direction he was facing.

“How’d you know I saved him?”

“I went back to the prison, looked in all the places I told him to hide in case anything happened, my jacket was missing from my cell, and I knew you wouldn’t take it without a reason.”

You gestured to the van.

“I ran into those three not long ago, maybe a day or so.”

“You didn’t think to stay with them? You stupid or something?”

“I had to find you both, I couldn’t go with them if you weren’t with them.”

“Are you gonna tell me what happened yet?”

You looked toward Daryl.

“You remember that vampire that cornered us?”

He nodded.

“It was him, I wasn’t strong enough to fight him, he stabbed me through and through with some metal, left me there and took my ring so I’d burn. When I came to I knew I had to get back to you, because he’d be going after you.”

You looked at your ring.

“Where did you find it?”

“Saw the fucker trying to sneak in, put an arrow through his head, searched his pockets and found it.”

You nodded, and he reached out, taking your hand and he laced his fingers with yours.

You looked for a few seconds before closing your fingers around his hand.

“Daryl?”

He hummed, letting you know he heard you.

“Stop teaching my boy how to swear asshole.”

“How the fuck did you know about that? Did the kid rat me out?”

“No dumbass, I heard you. I was under some nearby bushes to get away from the sun.”

“You didn’t think to call out?”

“And turn myself into a pile of ash?”

“Okay, that’s true.”

You both went quiet for a few minutes.

“Daryl?”

“Yeah?”

You locked eyes with him.

“Do you love me?”

He locked eyes with you, and he looked away, hiding his face behind his hair.

“I don’t say that crap.”

You nodded your head, and you stood up, letting go of his hand.

Leaning down, you kissed the top of his head.

“I love you. I understand.”

You began walking away.

“Shit (Y/N).”

You stopped, he jumped up and walked in front of you.

“I never meant that I uh.. you know that I don’t.”

You furrowed your brows a little.

“If I say it, this becomes real, like really fuckin’ real. That means I’ll really have something to lose.”

“Everyday you’re still alive you have something to lose my darling, that doesn’t mean you will. You keep fighting, just like you have been, you fight to stay alive, to keep your family safe.”

Daryl took your left hand, showing you the ring.

“You see this shit?”

You nodded.

“That means you stay, you fight with me. Me, you, Spencer, everybody, we fight anything that tries to take us apart.”

“We destroy anything, anyone that threatens us.” You said.

He nodded his head.

“You stay by my side, you understand?” He asked.

You smiled.

“‘Till we die I’ll be by your side.”

“And I’ll be by yours.” He whispered.

Leaning forward, he put his forehead on yours, both of your closing your eyes.

This was it, this was everything you had been searching for after all these years, everything you had wanted.

Daryl finally had people to call his own, a family to call his own.

Both of you would burn the whole world down to keep that safe if you had to, without hesitation, without a second thought

[kazscrows]

Six of Crows Reread 🪶

Chapter 37: Nina

How do you think a therapist would rate Helnik’s relationships?

Not great probably

But boy do I love an enemies to lovers

“Jer molle pe oonet. Enel mörd je nej afva trohem verretn.”

Nina swallowed hard. She remembered those words and what they truly meant. I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath. It was the vow of the drüskelle to Fjerda. And now it was Matthias’ promise to her.

brb. CrYiNg—

Cuz you know.. he dies relatively soon—

Anyways…

For some reason I always always forget that Nina and Matthias were going to just kill Yul-Bayur

Like I talked about this earlier in my reread. I haven’t forgotten since then. I’m just surprised that I forget this info

And it’s probably because they don’t do it

A Shu boy was seated cross-legged on it. He stared at them, his dark hair flopping over his forehead, a notebook in his lap. He couldn’t have been more than fifteen.

Hello Kuwei

Leverage 2.0

Oh my gosh the first thing Nina tells him is that they aren’t here to harm him

Like “Hi we’re nice and friendly we’re just here to kill your father-“

I mean they don’t know yet but… you think they could probably deduce it

Nina swallowed. She’d killed before. She’d killed tonight, even, but this was different. This boy wasn’t pointing a gun at her or trying to harm her. Murdering him – and it would be murder – would also mean betraying Inej, Kaz, Jesper, and Wylan. People who were risking their lives even now for a prize they’d never see. But then she thought of Nestor falling lifeless in the snow, of the cells full of Grisha lost in their own misery, all because of this drug.

She raised her arms. “I’m sorry,” she said. “If you succeed, there will be no end to the suffering you unleash.”

Oh wow she really was going to do it-

And yet her hands were shaking. Wasn’t this the way drüskelle thought? Destroy the threat, wipe it out, no matter that the person in front of you was innocent.

Ah there we go

“Nina,” Matthias said softly, “he’s just a kid. He’s one of us.”

One of us. A boy not much younger than she was, caught up in a war he hadn’t chosen for himself. A survivor.

It’s actually really wonderful that it’s Matthias that points this out. Helps her see

Since she helped him realize his wrongdoings before

He’s officially a Crow now in my mind after this

Oh what the heck I forgot Kuwei is an inferni!

Seriously you think they guard him a little better?

He’s just the most important child in the world currently

I guess the drüskelle thought Brum had the vault covered

Uh oh they just ran into a drüskelle that called Matthias a traitor-

Foreshadowing foreshadowing foreshado—

One of the drüskelle came forward with what looked like a long-handled whip attached to the cables that bound them, and handed it to Lars.

“Do you recognise this, Helvar?” Lars asked. “You should. You helped with its design. Retractable cables for controlling multiple captives. And the barbs, of course.”

Ha.. haha.. hA— crYinG again—

He helped make the weapon that’s about to hurt Nina

“Leave her be,” Matthias growled in Fjerdan, the words bristling with rage. For the briefest second, she saw a flash of panic in his former compatriots. He was bigger than all of them, and he’d been one of their leaders, one of the best of these murderous boys.

Gosh yeah the show helps remind me that Matthias is giant even more now

Calahan is just so… huge? Grand?

So muscular

Like daaaang

And now Kaz is here to save the day and destroy a beautiful tree

Oh and plunge them into a freezing cold river!

Fun times! Sarcasm

The last thing she glimpsed was Matthias toppling into the hole beside her. She heard gunfire – and then she was falling into the black, into the cold, into the throat of Djel, into nothing at all.

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[just-jordie-things]

strange and peculiar - fushiguro megumi

word count: 11.9k warnings: swearing, and my poor memory that kinda messed up the scene before the exchange event sorry deal with it  summary: Megumi has always felt a strange and peculiar feeling brew when you were around.  he doesn’t understand why until you’re in the heat of a battle.  more info: written with the idea of jujutsu tech being a college and the main four are first years! ___

“I don’t think we got them all!” Yuji called out in warning.

He had  noticed movements within the mole holes- or whatever you would call a curse-mole hybrid that burrowed in the ground and popped out to kill you.  He came to the conclusion that the terminology probably wasn’t important right now, and he could probably just call them mole holes for now.

“No shit” Nobara grumbled, stomping on two of them at a time.

“There’s something else going on though!” (y/n) hollered from the other side of the cavern.  “I- I feel like something’s off”

Just before a curse-mole could attack her from behind, she whirled around and pierced her hook sword through it’s middle.  It was the perfect attack, but still she winced in disgust and  kicked at the corpse until it fell off her weapon.

“That’s fucking gross,” She muttered, body again so it would roll away from her.  “But these things are weak, no way all these kids died because of…” Glancing around, she tried to figure out what these curses even were.  

“Curse-moles!” Yuuji supplied his made up term enthusiastically.

(y/n), Megumi, and Nobara all took a second to give the boy their best ‘what the fuck?’ faces.

“I was going to say grade fours,” (y/n) clarifies.  “Or a lower rating, if such a thing exists” She adds in a mutter.

“You’re right,” Megumi finally speaks up, watching as Totality rapidly destroys the numbers of curse-moles surrounding them.  

He turns to (y/n), his eyes locking on her for a few seconds longer than necessary, long enough to put a confused furrow between her brows, until he seems to snap out of his daze and glance over at Yuji and Nobara as well.

“Something else is going on”

As if on cue, long arms shoot out of one of the cavern’s walls, grabbing hold of Nobara and dragging her through the portal, almost menacingly slow, like the curse on the other side knew everyone was too in shock to stop him.

“Kugisaki-!” (y/n’s) shriek of worry died off as her friend’s body disappeared through the rock.

Within seconds, the remaining three scrambled over to the area, each trying to come up with their own plan on how to handle this.

But before anyone could speak, the true curse made itself known.  The same curse that had attacked them before.  The special grade.

“That thing’s still alive?” Itadori grumbled.

“Yuji, go after Kugisaki,” Megumi spoke.  “And try not to get either of you killed”

Yuji gave a firm nod, before throwing himself through the portal without a second thought.  It dawned on (y/n) that that’s how he seemed to react in most situations.  In an instant, no second guesses.  He sees his friend in danger and he’s there to help.

With that on her mind, (y/n) turns to Megumi, her eyes serious as she tightens her grip on her hooked sword.

“Finish off the moles and then go for the big boss together?” She asks him, waiting for him to nod in agreement so they could both exorcise these things and go help their friends.

But Megumi didn’t say anything right away.  He passed a glance at the special grade, and then looked back at (y/n).

“Megumi,” (y/n) called, trying to snap him out of whatever was running through his head.  “Megumi, we have to-”

“No,” He shook his head, still glancing between the special grade, and her.  “No, I’m sorry, we’re not going that”

“Well then what do you propose we do? We don’t exactly have a lot of time to come up with something-”

Before she could finish, Megumi had stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders, effectively halting whatever she was saying- and also any thoughts at all.  Her mind went blank as he stared down at her.

“I’m sorry about this, (y/n/n), I really am”

“Sorry about what? Fushiguro, we have to-” The girl shook her head, trying to figure out what was going on with him that was making him act so weird.

“Please don’t be mad at me” He said softly.

(y/n’s) mouth couldn’t even form the words to make a question, before Megumi was shoving her backwards with all of his strength.  She could barely even let out a yelp of surprise as she was stumbling backwards, before falling flat on her back.

Outside of the cavern.

He’d forced her through the portal.  And even as she tried to get back in, the door had already been shut and sealed.  He’d trapped her out here.

She just couldn’t understand why.

___

THE FIRST STRANGE AND PECULIAR INCIDENT

Fushiguro Megumi wasn’t really the sociable type.  He had friends but you would never know it.  Even he wondered if they’d be his friends if they weren’t so extroverted.

“Come onnn ‘gumi, just put on a brave smile and get through it, it’s not that hard,” Yuji whined insistently.  “It’s just a tour.  You’ve lived here for years, what’re you so worried about?”

Megumi was specifically asked by Gojo Sensei to give the new first year a tour of the facilities.  ‘The whole shebang’ the white haired kook had called it.  He didn’t really understand why he of all people was subjected to this kind of torture, seeing as Yuji and Nobara were far more outgoing than he was- which was definitely better for greeting the new recruit.  But he wasn’t the type to go against orders, so he had nodded his head, and walked off to the front of the school to await the new arrival.

“I didn’t say I was worried,” Megumi argued quietly, before sitting down on the steps, resting his arms across his lap.  “I just said that I didn’t want to do it- and that either of you were a better fit”

“Why’s that?” Nobara asked, boredly sitting next to him.

She didn’t really want to be a part of this whole welcome tour either.  Not that she was supposed to be- Yuji had heard that Megumi was doing it and forced her to tag along with him too.

“I dunno, you’re nice” Megumi muttered reluctantly.

“That’s stupid.  You’re nice,” Itadori reminded him.  “You gave me my tour, and it was just fine, so what’re you so worried about this time?”

“I’m not worried! I never said I was worried, I just don’t want to do it!”

“Such a whiner” Nobara grumbled.  Yuji smacked the side of her head with the back of his hand.

“Well why don’t you want to do it?” He asked with much more kindness than their peer had to offer.

Megumi didn’t have an answer to the question.  Not a fair one anyways.  So he ignored and dropped his head to his hands.

“This is so stupid”

“You’re so stupid,” Nobara corrected- this time dodging Yuji’s hand.  “You’re stressing about nothing.  You’re a nice enough person and know your way around the place better than the rest of us.  It makes sense that Gojo Sensei would ask you to give a simple silly little tour.  Stop overthinking it and worrying over nothing”

“I’m not-!”

“Then act like it, idiot”

Kugisaki always had a way with words.  A way where when anyone ever needed anything, they felt silly for bringing it up to her, but she did help.  In her own way.

Megumi had to admit she had a good point.  He would never say so out loud though.

Not that he needed to- Kugisaki Nobara knew damn well that she was right.

That was when a car pulled up in front of the school, and the three first years knew that this was their new recruit.  They didn’t know anything about them, so they were all eager in their own way for someone new.

Yuji needed a friend, someone to hang out with that wouldn’t make him hold all their shopping bags.  Nobara wanted another set of hands to hold all her shopping bags.

And Megumi… well he didn’t really know what he was looking for, he just thought the more recruits the easier it is to exorcise curses.  He hoped they were more level headed than the other two, though.

The car door opened, and out they stepped, smiling, holding only one bag as they took a proper look at the school.

“Another girl,” Nobara hummed in amusement after seeing the proper skirt and button down uniform.  “Looks like we’re going shopping, boys”

“Looks like I don’t have to shop anymore” Yuji sighed in relief, a grin splitting his lips the more he thought about it.

She was too far to really get a good look at her.  All Megumi could make out was her uniform and her (y/h/c) hair tied up in a neat ponytail.  He didn’t understand how Yuji and Nobara could get so excited when she hasn’t even spoken to them yet.

She must have finally laid her eyes on the group of three that had been studying her from some fifty feet away, and she raised her hand in a friendly wave before heading towards them.

Ijichi walked around to the back of the car, opening the trunk to grab the rest of the girl’s luggage, only to close it again, and walk behind her towards the school, empty handed.

Megumi watched as he asked her a question, probably about the whereabouts of the rest of her things.  In response, the girl raised the bag in her hand.

He could hear her let out a laugh- a sweet, pretty sound.  Genuine.

As she got closer, the group could get a better look of her, and slowly their eyes widened.

“She’s uh…” Nobara trailed off.

“Gorgeous right?” Yuji finished with a small gasp.

The two looked over at Megumi, who hadn’t said a word, but his eyes were trained as she walked towards them.

She was chatting away with Ijichi as they walked.  It was probably only small talk, about the weather, or wherever she was moving from, maybe something funny that happened on the drive here.  She looked so friendly, so kind.  It was just a first impression… but first impressions are everything, right?

“Uh oh,” Nobara hummed, sharing a knowing look with Yuji.  “I think we just lost our shopping partner”

Yuji giggled and nodded in response, fluffy tufts of pink rising and falling against his forehead at the excited action.

“What do you mean?” Megumi asked, unable to peel his eyes away.

Yuji and Nobara looked at each other again, both grinning from ear to ear now, forcing their hands over their mouths to keep the laughter from bubbling out.  They didn’t want to embarrass Megumi, or make him ruin his own opportunity before it even walked up to him.

And then she was right there in front of them, and the raven haired boy was scrambling to his feet, trying to maintain a respectful and professional boundary.  

Yuji and Nobara were still giggling school children behind him as they lazily stood up to greet their new friend.

“Hi, I’m (y/l/n) (y/n), but you can just call me (y/n)”

Her eyes flickered quickly between them all, trying to get a read on all of them at once.  But they were so strange, and not what she was expecting at all.  There was the pink haired boy and the girl next to him, who were seemingly fighting off a fit of giggles while hiding behind the boy who stood tall before her.  His hair was wildly spiky, and she took a good second to admire how it still looked soft, before she met his eyes.

They were as wide as saucers, like a deer caught in headlights, if that deer was a fully conscious human being who seemed to have just… shut down right in front of her.

“I’m Yuji,” The giggling pink haired boy pushed aside the boy with the crazy hair and pretty eyes, holding out his hand to properly introduce himself.  “And this is Nobara,” He pointed to the other girl while he shook her hand.  “And Megumi”

Megumi, what a strange name for a strange-haired boy, (y/n) thought to herself, but still there was a smile on her face as she looked back at him.  He was blushing now, but she didn’t know what he was so embarrassed by.

“He’ll be giving you the tour!” Nobara shrieked suddenly, leaping forward to also be standing in front of Megumi.  The boy this enthusiastic pair once hid behind they now were hiding.

“Oh, um, that’s great,” (y/n) mumbled out, a small nervous laugh escaping her.  “I was told that you don’t have to dorm with anyone, is that true? Or did that crazy guy just tell me that to get me to enroll faster?”

She was looking at Megumi, so the others waited for him to answer, but he was still trapped in a stunned silence.  Awkwardly, Yuji answered her question.

“You probably mean Gojo Sensei, and yeah, it’s private rooming which is nice”

“Perfect, I don’t do great with roommates,” (y/n) chuckled.  “Don’t get me wrong, I’m a team player, but I like my own space”

“So crazy! Megumi is the same way!” Nobara said, before knocking shoulders with the boy.  “You two will get along great then.  Well, Yuji and I have some errands to run, so it’ll just be the pair of ya goin’ on the tour, but I’m sure it’ll be great!”

“Uh- yeah, nothing to get the day started like a tour of a school” (y/n) said sarcastically, not understanding what this girl’s eagerness was all about.

“So much fun! Enjoy!” Yuuji cheered, before grabbing Nobara by the arm and dragging her down the steps as quickly as possible.

(y/n) barely even waved at them before they were out of sight.

“Those two are high energy, huh?” She asks, still trying to get a read on the boy they left behind.

“Yeah, they’re a lot to handle” He finally speaks.

“Well, I guess you’re lucky I’m here then,” (y/n) says with a bright smile.  “So, where does this tour start?”

“I guess, um, your room? So you can set your bag down?” Megumi suggests, and she nods in agreement.

“Yeah, this one bag is starting to get heavy, it’s best to start there” She jokes.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Megumi says, reaching out and taking the bag from her hands.  “I’m not really used to there being a, um, a girl, here”

It takes a real effort for (y/n) not to laugh- or blush- because she doesn’t want him to feel silly.  Especially when the action was so sweet.

“Thank you, but you didn’t have to take it,” She says, following beside him as they walk up the steps to the school.  “I’m fully capable of carrying my own things… but I don’t mind if you want to be a gentleman either”

Gentleman, Megumi repeats the compliment in his head.  He was only carrying her bag, it wasn’t really a gentlemanly thing for him to do, really just a simple favor.  Still, his face felt warm just from hearing her say it.

A small, nervous little laugh escapes him as he rubs the back of his neck.

It was a strange and peculiar feeling that filled his chest.  Warm, fluttery, and overbearing… but nice. ___

THE SECOND STRANGE AND PECULIAR INCIDENT

(y/n) had been in the training room for what felt like hours… and it was.  She wasn’t used to exercising like this, but she knew that she needed to start pushing herself if she was ever going to catch up to the other first years’ levels.

Nobara and Yuji had only been here for a month or so, and they were already well above her abilities.  And she knew that Megumi had been here for a very long time, and she was sure she could never compete with him.

She’d been on a few missions with them, enough to know that she needed this extra training.  She’s also been with them enough to know that Fushiguro Megumi’s abilities were… amazing.

Truth was, she was starting to really admire him.  At first it was just a fascination for his cursed technique, and how much control he had over it.  But that quickly developed into a tiny crush, and now she wasn’t sure where she stood with him.

Megumi was kind of a difficult person to get to know.  He was fairly closed off, and not exactly the type to go out of his way to make friends.  So the small advances (y/n) tried to make often sent her to a dead end.

She supposed that she considered them friends, but mostly just because they always hung out in a group.  And Nobara and Yuji were always good at breaking the ice and bringing everyone together, whether they were shopping or having a movie night.

Still, a part of her wished there was just one opportunity to hang out with Megumi, just the two of them.

“Oh, I’m sorry”

That was the form of greeting Megumi decided on when he walked into the training room, only to find (y/n) already there.

She jumped in surprise, turning away from the practice dummy she was trying to knock down.

“Oh, Fushiguro,” She gave him a weak smile.  “Did you want the space? I don’t mind heading out if-”

“No! No, uh, that’s fine, you stay, I can just go to the courtyard” He said, already turning to leave.

“Wait! Fushiguro,” (y/n) called out, making him pause in the doorway.  “If you were going to train anyways, would you mind working with me?”

“Like… you want to spar?” He asked, confused.

“Yeah,” She answered with a nod.  “I’m so far behind all of you.  I mean, I’m great with a sword, I think I could even take you on, but uh, that’s not the point is it” She shook her head to stop her rambling.  

“So… you need training in hand-to-hand?” Megumi asked, and (y/n) nodded sheepishly.  

“It’s okay if you already had a plan or something-”

“No, it’s alright, I don’t mind,” Megumi said, stepping inside and setting down the bag he had on his shoulder.  “I’d much rather help you out”

(y/n) smiled at that and thanked him quietly.

“I really appreciate it, Fushiguro” She told him.

“Megumi,” The boy responded, a tint of color on his cheeks.  “So, uh, where do you want to start?”

Most of the training was just (y/n) trying to land something on him- anything- but not one attack, not one punch or kick- and even a head butt- touched him.  He dodged her for so long that she was beginning to think that she was worse off than she originally thought.

He predicted her every move, even when she tried to get creative and switch it up.  It was infuriating, depressing, and embarrassing.  Here she was trying to improve herself, and make a friend along the process, but it was all starting to feel useless.

She finally snapped when she lunged at him and he slid out of her way, causing her to stumble and fall on her knees.

“Forget it!”

Megumi’s eyes widened in shock as she stood up, brushing off the nonexistent dust on her leggings.  She was shaking, but he wasn’t sure if it was from physical exhaustion or if it was a reaction to her outburst.

“I can’t do this anymore, I’m done,” She began to mutter.  “Maybe I should have never enrolled here, maybe I overestimated my abilities.  I got too cocky, thinking I could pick this up as easy as a sword.  Clearly I am not meant to be here,”

Megumi was too stunned to say anything, even though on the inside he was desperate to tell her that she was wrong, that she could pick up hand-to-hand defense, and that her strength with her weapon could challenge even Gojo- if he was also fighting with one, that is.

“You’re so much better than I ever will be and I thought I could try and I thought I could get somewhere but I just- I’ve gotten nowhere! I mean look at me! I’m drenched and I’m exhausted and you- you haven't even broken a sweat!”

“(y/n), stop,” Megumi shook his head, putting his hands up defensively, though he wasn’t sure why.  “You’re wrong”

“What?” She mumbled, eyes narrowed in confusion.  “What do you mean? I haven’t even touched you”

“That doesn’t matter,” He shrugged.  “We’re just training, you’re still learning”

“But-”

“And you’re right, if you had a sword, well, I’d be dead meat”

(y/n) blinked at him, not understanding where the sudden compassion was coming from.  He’d barely spoken a word in the last hour or so they’d been sparring.  She could have sworn he thought the worst of her.

“But you- you’re such a good fighter” She mumbled.

Megumi’s cheeks turned pink, and he nervously brought his hand up to the back of his neck.  He avoided her pressing gaze by sarong at the floorboards.

“You are too, just in a different way.  But I can help you get better,” He tells her sincerely.  “Being here isn’t a matter of being better than someone else, it’s about, um, you know, being the best that you can be.  And I know that you can really succeed here, since you push yourself so much”

(y/n) didn’t say anything, and it was silent for long enough that Megumi finally looked back at her, trying to decipher what she was feeling.  Her eyes were wide and her lips were parted as she stared at him, clearly touched by what he had said.

“That… that was really cheesy,” She said while slowly cracking a smile.  “I mean… really cheesy, did you pull that from a movie?”

“What!? No! I- I was being serious!” Megumi shrieked in embarrassment.

“Sure you were. It sounded like it came from a romantic movie to me” (y/n) teased, beginning to laugh at the boy’s scowl.

“It did not!”

“Sure, Megumi.  Sure”

Megumi groaned and smacked a hand to his forehead.

“I was just trying to be nice, okay?”

“I know,” (y/n) hummed.  “But come on, why don’t you actually teach me something now, so I can rise up and surpass you.  Then next time, I’ll take you down”

Next time, Megumi thought, his heart rate speeding up in his chest.

“Alright then,” He said, widening his footstance and bringing his fists up to his face defensively.  “But when your back’s on the floor, just remember you asked for it”

(y/n) smirked, before making the first move. ___

One Hour Later.

“They’re kinda cute together, don’t you think?” Yuji whispered to Nobara.

“I suppose.  I just find it neat that Megumi’s taken a liking to somebody”

“He likes me!” Yuji whisper-screams in offense.

Nobara rolls her eyes, and looks back into the training room.  Megumi and (y/n) were both laying on their backs, awake, but barely.  They were both panting heavily, and if they weren’t fully clothed (and if Nobara didn’t know Megumi better) then her and Yuji might have suspected something promiscuous and exciting had happened in here.

But when the pair stumbled across the scene, it was clear to the both of them that they were simply exhausted from their training.

Megumi’s arm was thrown over his eyes, like he was trying to shield himself from the lights so he could just pass out.  While (y/n) was splayed out on the ground like a starfish.

“Megumi,” (y/n) spoke, for the first time since Yuji and Nobara had started spying on them.  The tired girl reached out blindly, patting her hand around until it landed on Megumi’s shoulder.  “Megumi,” She said his name again.  “Carry me back to my room”

Yuji stifled a laugh into his hand.

“What?” Megumi muttered back.  “(y/n), I can’t even stand”

“Carry meee” (y/n) whined, ignoring him.  “You started this anyways, you owe me a lift back to my room”

“I started this?” Megumi scoffed.  “Oh Megumi, help me fight, I’m so weak and you’re so strong, teach me, please, I’ll do anything”

Now Nobara and Yuji were both dying of laughter as Megumi impersonated (y/n) with a terrible fake-female voice.  (y/n) was not so amused.

“That doesn’t sound like me at all”

“It was a perfect impression,” Megumi replied with complete seriousness.

(y/n) hummed in disbelief, but dropped her petty argument.

“So are you carrying me or not?”

“Carry yourself.  I’m sleeping right here”

“Fine then,” (y/n) huffed.  “Guess I’m sleeping here too”

“They’re so stupid,” Nobara shook her head.  “They really trained themselves to death on their day off”

“I dunno, I think they’d be kinda cute together” Yuji said, before stepping away from the door.

Nobara followed him, crossing her arms as she took one last peek at her friends in the training room.

“Well, yeah, pretty sure ‘gumi’s had a crush on her since the day she came here.  He can barely talk to her,” She said with an amused laugh.  “It’s kinda funny actually”

“Aw, well, maybe we should help them” Itadori suggested.

“Maybe we should stay out of it and let nature do whatever,” Nobara retorted, before walking off down the hall.  “If they’re into each other, then they’ll do whatever they want to deal with it.  I don’t really care one way or the other”

With that, she strutted off, no longer entertained by her friends’ weird shy love life.

But Yuji couldn’t help himself from looking back at the pair that were laughing quietly in the training room.  He had seen the way Megumi’s acted around you, quieter than usual, barely able to talk to you for longer than thirty seconds.  It was all the signs of a crush.

And if he did have feelings for you, then Yuji had already decided he would help his best friend express his feelings.  Even if sometimes he acted like a lost cause. ___

THE THIRD STRANGE AND PECULIAR INCIDENT

The Exchange Event with Jujutsu Tech Kyoto was supposed to be something to look forward to.  Something exciting and new and fun.  A way to test everyone’s abilities and have a little rivalry fun at the same time.  

But today, it just felt lame.

With Yuji not here to make a fun time even better, it just seemed stupid.  Nonetheless, (y/n) went along with Nobara and Megumi and the second years to meet the students from the other school.

“What’s wrong, new kid? You seem glum” Panda nudged at (y/n’s) shoulder, having noticed she was dragging her feet and staring at the ground.

“Salmon” Inumaki agreed.

“I’m just not in the mood for this,” She mumbled, keeping her head down.  “Yuuji’s dead.  What’s the point of going to an event”

“It’s about challenge,” Panda said, placing his large paw on the girl’s back.  “It’s hard, but everything about this is hard.  Use your grief to your benefit.  Use it to power your strength”

(y/n) shrugged her shoulders, and crossed her arms around herself.  Panda dropped his paw, giving Inumaki a sad look, but keeping his mouth shut.

Megumi noticed this interaction, walking a bit behind the rest of the group.  His hands were stuffed into his pockets, and there was a frown on his face.  (y/n) was right.  This was terrible timing for an event like this.

There had already been no time to comprehend or mourn the death of their friend.  Being thrown into the Exchange Event was just another weight on everyone’s shoulders.

He must have been staring for too long, because (y/n) lifted her head, only to turn back and catch his eyes.  His widened for a second, embarrassed to have been caught, but she gave him a sad sort of smile in acknowledgement.  She knew he had overheard her, and she knew that he was closer to Yuji than she was.

He returned the smile, and again, she dropped her head and kept walking forward.

“Would you look at that, what a sad little group of kids,” A girl spoke.  “Look Todo, aren’t they sad?”

The short haired girl turned to a man beside her, a shirtless, massive man.  (y/n’s) eyes widened as they landed on him- which didn’t go unnoticed by Nobara, who snickered and elbowed her in the side.

The ripped man just shrugged his shoulders, indifferent, he didn’t say a word.

“Why are you guys so sad?” The girl asked, earning a slight glare from (y/n).  “What is it honey? Do share” She leaned towards (y/n) with a fake caring tone, and a wide smirk on her lips.

“Well it’s just- it’s just that-”

(y/n) started getting choked up, and Megumi stepped forward, coming up to pull her away from the situation, since Mai only wanted to instigate a fight.

But (y/n’s) demeanor sickly changed as she raised her head, glaring down her adversary.

“It’s just that you’re a total bitch!”

Megumi reeled back as (y/n) reached behind her to unsheath her sword from her back, ready to lunge towards the rude girl, before Megumi snapped back to his senses and grabbed (y/n) by the arms, dragging her back before she could actually hurt anyone.

“Woah, hey! What’re you thinking!?” Megumi shrieked.  He wanted to get the hook sword out of her grasp, but it required both of his hands to restrain her.

“You want to pick a fight because our friend died?” (y/n) hissed at the cruel girl.  “I don’t even know you! And you want to insult one of the kindest, sweetest, funniest people I’ve ever met!?”

“Hey” Nobara grumbled, shooting (y/n) a dirty look, offended by the comment.

“I don’t care,” Mai shrugged.  “Actually, I do a little bit.  I’m just relieved that Sukuna’s little vessel is gone”

(y/n) thrashed against Megumi’s arms, kicking at his feet to try and get his hold to loosen so that she could go for her sword again.

“Megumi! Let me go!”

“No! She’s just trying to get a rise out of you! Just ignore her”

Despite his attempts to talk her down, she just tuned him out.

“Megumi, let me go so that I can-”

“Can what, honey?” Mai asked with a purse in her lips.  “Kill me? With what that little sword of yours? Please,”

She reached into the holster on her hip and pulled out her pistol, eyeing it lovingly before returning her sneer towards (y/n).

“I’d like to see you try, honey-”

“Mai that’s enough” Maki stepped forward now, in front of (y/n), who was still fighting against Megumi to be set free.

“Please, (y/n/n), just drop it,” He begged her quietly while Mai and Maki were talking.  “You’ll have your chance at her once the even begins.  If you do something now, you would just be punished.

(y/n) didn’t say anything, but she stopped struggling, and turned to look at him.

“Yuji’s dead,” She told him, quietly.  Her brows were furrowed in anger, but the tears in her eyes told him it was a different emotion she was struggling with.  “And that bitch just wants to use it to mess with us-”

“I know,” He nodded at her in understanding.  “But this won’t get you anywhere, and I don’t need you getting yourself kicked out of this school, okay? So please just, just give me your sword, (y/n/n)”

She stared at him for a moment longer, those tears threatening to spill onto her cheeks.  Before she let out a sigh, and relaxed in his hold.  Carefully, Megumi let go of her arms, and she handed him her weapon with a frown.

Megumi took it from her, giving her a slight nod in gratitude.  She said nothing as she turned forward again, crossing her arms over her chest.  

Megumi slid her sword back into it’s sheath strapped to her back, which surprised her, but she still didn’t say anything.  His punishment for holding her back from murder was the cold shoulder.  Megumi didn’t consider this fair, but he just ignored it.  As long as she didn’t get herself into useless trouble, he didn’t care how she treated him.

But when she crossed her arms and pouted like that, she reminded him of Nobara.

“You! Emo boy!”

The buff man shouted, speaking for the first time, and pointing at Megumi, who furrowed his brows, and pointed to himself questioningly.

“Yes, you,” Todo clarified.  “Answer this important question rival,”

(y/n) cocked her head to the side, wondering how this other opponent was going to pry.  Her fingers already itching to unsheathe her weapon again.  If he were to pick on Megumi the way the girl next to him just spoke about Yuji, she’d happily detach his head from his ginormous body.

Megumi must have noticed this twitch in her hand, because his own hand gently laid on the small of her back, an action unnoticed by anyone else, but still spoke volumes to her.  She froze at the touch instantly, looking up at him, even though his stare was set on Todo.

“WHAT KIND OF WOMAN IS YOUR TYPE?”

His screaming voice echoed across the courtyard, the question repeating in everyone’s heads a few times, lacing them all with confusion.

(y/n’s) brow quirked, wondering what kind of psychological torture this was supposed to be.  Was he making fun of Megumi? But how? How was asking what Megumi’s type was… hurting him?

“Heh?” Was all Megumi could force out, confused, but still nervous.  “This some kind of comedy routine?”

Todo didn’t say anything, just crossed his arms and stared him down impatiently.

“Uh… I don’t have a particular preference,” Megumi answered, deciding to just go with it instead of unintentionally instigating a fight by ignoring the strange question.

(y/n) would have laughed at his answer, had she not been completely lost by what was happening.  So when she turned to look at Megumi, her expression in utter bewilderment, he just shrugged his shoulders at her.

“As long as she has an unshakable character, I won’t ask for more” He finished his answer for Todo.

“That’s a good answer,” Nobara hummed, catching (y/n’s) attention.  “If you had said ‘big boobs’ or something, I would have killed you”

“Shut up” Megumi rolled his eyes.

(y/n) was trapped looking between Todo and Megumi, unsure of what to do.  Although her eyes mostly stuck to the latter, as the warm palm on her back was starting to spread warmth in her chest, somehow.  Something about that lame answer made her feel warm... maybe.

“I knew it…” Todo mumbled, staring down at the ground, in a way that made him look ashamed.  “You’re lame, Fushiguro!”

When he looked up again, there were tears in his eyes.

“What!?” Megumi shrieked, obviously confused.  “I answered your weird question!”

“That’s not a type, it’s a copout answer!” Todo argued.  “Humor me, Fushiguro, there must be something- someone-!”

Before he could finish, the massive Todo’s eyes landed on (y/n), who still looked dazed, and how close she stood to the emo-haired Fushiguro.  It was then that he noticed that his hand was on her back, keeping her close, like he was keeping watch on her from earlier.

“Ahh… I see,” Todo said with a grin, his gaze penetrating the spot where Megumi’s hand laid on her.  “It’s her, yes? She’s your ideal type of woman?”

“Wha-?” Megumi quickly pulled his hand away from her, and stepped to the side for good measure.  “Don’t be ridiculous”

(y/n) looked up at him, noticing the pink in his face that Todo and Mai were too far to see.  All the while Nobara was cackling like a wild hyena.

“You’re going to stand there and tell me that this girl is not your type?” Todo asked, a bit more tauntingly than he had before.

“Hey!” (y/n) snapped, whirling around to face the pair of instigators.  “I am not just some girl!” She shouted.

“Yeah! And she’s everyone’s type!” Nobara chimed in.

(y/n) smacked her hand to her forehead.

“Tsk, whatever” Todo scoffed.  “Either Fushiguro is too lame to admit it, or he really does have a lame taste in women.  Either way, I’ll destroy you out there, rival”

With that, he walked off, Mai following with a cruel sounding giggle.

(y/n) huffed, feeling accomplished, even though she wasn’t exactly a driving force in getting them to leave her and her friends alone.  They left on their own accord.  But she still took pride in her actions and twirled around to face Megumi and Nobara again.

“Those guys are idiots,” She said.  “Let’s just move on so we can go kill them”

She looked up at Megumi, who had his hand on the back of his neck, and his eyes pointed downwards.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Nobara said, already turning and walking off.  “I can’t wait to wipe the floor with these morons”

(y/n) approached Megumi, waiting to walk with him, even if he was acting all shy.

“Hey, I don’t care about that guy.  He’s stupid and just trying to get to us, right?” She said, tentatively reaching out to poke him in the chest.

“Right” Megumi sighed.

“Who cares what he says.  Let’s just go show ‘em why we’re better,” She suggested, dropping her hand to grab onto his.

Megumi’s face instantly went hot, and his head shot up so he could look at her.  The tips of his ears going as pink as his cheeks.

“For Yuji,” (y/n) said softly.  “Cause he’d do the same for us”

Megumi nodded, and (y/n) squeezed his hand gently before letting go, following after Nobara, and Megumi followed her.

Just as he’d caught up to her, the three were interrupted.

“WAIT!” A familiar crazed voice called out.  

The first years turned to see Gojo Sensei running after them with a box on a little wheeled dolly.

“Wait! I have a gift for you! A surprise for your big day!” He hollered, running faster with his gift.

“What the hell is that?” Nobara mumbled.

“Twenty bucks says it’s just a bunch of snacks” (y/n) said under her breath.

“You’re on” Nobara agreed.

“Here, look!” Gojo said excitedly, letting go of his gift and presenting it with both of his arms.  “Ta da!”

When nothing happened, the three students shared a confused and worried look.

Maybe the kook finally lost it.

And then, in a delayed fashion, the box burst open, and out jumped a familiar pink haired boy.

“Ta da!” Itadori Yuji shouted, his arms in the air and a big grin on his face.  “It’s me! I’m alive! Woohoo!”

Fushiguro and Nobara looked like their souls had been snatched right out of their bodies, their jaws slack and eyes wide.  They were even going pale, starting to get sick over the sudden surprise that Yuji was alive, and standing right before them.

“Yuji!” (y/n) cried out, almost tripping over herself as she ran towards him.

Tears poured out of her eyes from her excitement.  Her relief spreading a smile on her face as she jumped up to wrap her arms around her friend, hugging him tight and practically shaking with the adrenaline rush.

“You’re alive! I can’t believe you’re alive-! Wait,” She pulled away from him suddenly, giving Itadori a slight glare.  “How are you alive? How long have you been alive?”

The girl gasped suddenly, before pulling back completely and crossing her arms over her chest.

“Were you hiding that you were alive?” She accused him, eyeing him up and down.  “How could you! Do you know how worried I was-!?”

“Okay, okay, (y/n), I’m sorry,” Yuji finally cut her off, putting his hands up in mock surrender.  “But Gojo Sensei made me!” He added, pointing accusingly at the blindfolded man.

(y/n) redirected her glare to her Sensei with no shame.  Megumi snapped back into reality just in time to pull her aside and jump in front of her, not wanting her to get in trouble for disrespecting their superior.

“What’s happening?” He asked, ignoring when (y/n) smacked at his shoulder for pushing her aside.

“I’ll tell you all about it later, right now let’s just go to the Event!”

“Yes!” (y/n) agreed, pushing to get in front of Megumi now.  “Listen, I need your help taking this one girl down, okay?”

“You got it,” Yuji agreed instantly.  “What’d she do? Was she pretty? I have trouble fighting pretty girls”

“Well, she’s kinda pretty, but she disrespected me to the highest degree” (y/n) told him seriously.

Megumi and Nobara shared a bored look, but neither said anything.

“Okay, I’m in.  Let’s go!”

With that, Yuji linked his arm through (y/n’s) and ran off with her.  Leaving Megumi and Nobara- who were still in shock- behind.

Gojo laughed and shoved his hands into his pockets as he watched them.

“They’re close, huh?” He asked his remaining students, before walking off towards the school to get the event started.

Nobara chuckled, before looking over at Megumi.

“Don’t get too jealous, ‘gumi,” She teased.

The boy’s head snapped to look at her so fast she was surprised she didn’t hear a crack.  His eyes were wide and his cheeks were starting to get pink, and all Nobara could do was laugh some more.

“(y/n) and Yuji are just good friends.  You’ve got nothing to worry about” She told him.

“What? Wh-what would I be worried about? (y/n/n) and Itadori? I- I don’t care if they-”

“(y/n/n) huh?” Nobara mused, admiring her nail polish.  “You two have been getting pretty chummy, haven’t ya?”

When she looked back up, Megumi’s face had gone completely red, and he was rubbing at the back of his neck.

“You should just tell her how you feel, ‘gumi,” She said.  “It’ll be good to get it off your chest”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Megumi mumbled, dropping his head as he started to walk off.  “Let’s just go to the event, okay?”

Nobara blinked, watching him leave.  She was expecting him to be shy when she confronted him about his feelings for (y/n), but she wasn’t expecting him to act like that. ___

THE THIRD STRANGE AND PECULIAR INCIDENT

Driving in the dark after a long day always made (y/n) more tired than she already was.  It was late, she was certain past midnight, and after the grade two curse that her and her friends just exorcised, she could barely keep her eyes open on the car ride home.

“Can we go through McDonald’s before the Academy?” Yuji asked Ijichi, leaning up from the back seat, sticking his face between the front, getting right in Ijichi and Nobara’s faces.

“Oi, back up, you stink” Nobara groaned, turning towards the window.

“Yeah, I could get you guys some food before home.  You did work super hard today!” Ijichi agreed with a bright smile.  “I’m so proud of you kids.  Only first years, too, it’s impressive”

“Thank you, Ijichi,” (y/n) said softly.  “It-” She paused to yawn.  “It means a lot, thank you”

Ijichi smiled at (y/n) through the rearview mirror, nodding his head.

“Everyone prepare your orders, there’s a McDonald’s a few minutes away”

(y/n) leaned her head back against the small headrest of the middle seat.

“I think I’ll fall asleep before we get there,” She mumbled, gaining the attention of the boys on either side of her.  “How can you even think of food right now?” She asked, turning to Itadori.

He shrugged.

“I didn’t have dinner before we left” He answered lamely.

(y/n) laughed quietly, shaking her head before leaning back again.

“Okay weirdo, go ahead and eat when there’s demon blood still on your hands”

“Oh, shit, gross” Itadori was quick to shake his hands, before wiping them down his pant legs.

Megumi and (y/n) winced at one another as they watched him do this.

“Don’t say anything, he’ll just try to explain it to you” Megumi muttered, earning a small laugh from (y/n).

“You’re right,” She said, leaning in closer to him- which was extremely close seeing as there were three people squeezed into the back of the car- and Megumi was thankful it was dark enough that she couldn’t see.  “Just pretend we’re deep in conversation and maybe he’ll just ignore us”

Megumi quirked a smile back at her, laughing nervously from how close she leaned in.  He figured that if she were to move even an inch closer, her nose would bump into his chin.

His face felt even hotter for thinking so.

“Right, yeah” He agreed quietly, making her smile at him again.

(y/n) turned to face forward again, but she was still sitting quite close to him, so as she leaned her head back, it hit his headrest, instead of her tiny one.  It took everything in Megumi’s power not to turn and stare at her, in fear that if he did, she would move back into her space.  And he didn’t want her to move.

“I’m not too close, am I?” (y/n) asked in a murmur under her breath, so quiet that only someone sitting as close to her as Megumi could hear.  “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable or anything”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” Megumi said, trying his very best to sound sincere.  “If you’re going to sleep, I can wake you when we’re back” He added.

(y/n) turned her head, smiling up at him, before shutting her eyes and adjusting her body to be more relaxed.

“Thanks, Megumi”

All he could respond with was a forced ‘mhm’ before he looked out the window to avoid staring at her.

It was quiet for a few minutes, the car only being filled with the sounds of Nobara changing the radio station every thirty seconds.  It would be annoying, had Megumi actually been paying enough attention to it.  All he could focus on was the warmth that (y/n’s) left side radiated.  And the faintest touch of her leg against his.

He so terribly wanted to pull her into him and hold her to keep her warm and comfortable-

The boy had to shake his head to get rid of such a ludicrous thought.  What was he, a child with a crush? He had no time for something so juvenile, so-

The gasp that Megumi let out caught the attention of everyone in the car- except for (y/n), who had fallen asleep, and dropped her head onto his shoulder.

Megumi was the last to look at the sight.  Nobara and Yuji noticed instantly, both smiling at him enthusiastically.

Nobara rolled her eyes and went back to finding a good station, but Yuji gave him a thumbs up, before going back on his phone.

For a moment, Megumi held his breath, expecting (y/n) to wake up from knocking her head into his shoulder.  But after a minute, she still hadn’t moved, so he exhaled, and did his best to stay in place, so as not to disrupt her sleep.

She had exerted herself tonight, she deserved a nine minute nap on the car ride home.  He’d do anything to make sure she was comfortable.

For some time now, Megumi had been struggling anytime he was around (y/n) (y/l/n).  When they had met, he’d chalked his anxiety up to meeting a new person who happened to be very pretty.  But as time went on, and his nerves never really settled around her, he’d come to realize that he was harboring very real feelings for her.

It was far more than a crush.

She was just so kind, and sweet and funny and gentle- but she was also wicked strong, and knew how to hold her own.  She could keep up with Yuji and Nobara’s shenanigans, but she could still be real, and tease them with Megumi.  Everything about who she was just made him want to be around her more.

And when Todo had called him out that day of the Exchange Event, it finally dawned on him.  He was catching feelings.  To him, she was more than a friend.

Luckily when Ijichi had taken them through the McDonald’s Drive-Thru, (y/n) hadn’t woken up.  She stirred a little bit, and again, Megumi held his breath, but she settled right back against him, the tip of her nose barely brushing his neck.

He held his breath an extra minute, only letting it out once he was sure he was going to lose consciousness.

The rest of the ride went too fast for his liking, Ijichi arriving back at the academy faster than usual- or so Megumi swore.

Yuji and Nobara were quick to rush out of the car, both giving some excuse about being exhausted and ready to go to bed.  But Megumi watched as they sprinted into the building, both laughing and shrieking nonsense.

“Liars” Megumi mumbled to himself.

He said goodnight to Ijichi as the driver headed inside, before finally looking down at (y/n).

She still appeared fast asleep, her eyelashes twitching against her cheeks every few seconds.

Her features looked so soft, Megumi couldn’t help but reach out and touch her- as though he wasn’t sure if she were real.

As he carefully pushed a lock of her hair off of her forehead, she stirred a little bit, and then her eyes opened, meeting his instantly.

Megumi froze, a piece of hair still draped over his finger, his lips parted like he was about to explain himself, but no words came out.

She blinked, trying to gain her bearings, and then slowly smiled up at him, admiring the way that his blush crawled all the way up to his ears.  Megumi got shy a lot, she had learned in her few months at Jujutsu Tech, and every time he did it, she couldn’t help but think that it was so pretty on him.

“You okay?” She asked quietly.

Her head was still on his shoulder as she stared at him.

“Uh- yeah- yeah” The words were strained by his throat, and (y/n) smiled again, finding it endearing.

“Then why are you looking at me like that?” She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I- I just, um…”

Megumi made himself shuffle away, (y/n’s) head lifting as she looked at him with her brows drawn together in worry.  His hand shook as it grabbed the handle of the door.

“We’re home,” He said, quickly getting out of the car.  “I didn’t know how to wake you”

“Oh,” (y/n) hummed, following him out of the car.  “Well I wasn’t going to be upset that you woke me” She told him, shutting the door behind her, and rounding the back to open the trunk.

“I know, but I didn’t want to bother you”

She grabbed her weapon, and closed the trunk, before looking back at Megumi.

He was doing that thing where he rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the ground, seemingly lost in thought.  Or maybe trying to hide.

(y/n) studied him for a minute, his nervous stance, his tapping foot, and for a second, she thought maybe he was nervous because of her.

But that would be silly, why would Megumi be so nervous around me? I’m not intimidating, we’re friends, she told herself, shaking her head to get rid of the idea.

“Megumi?”

She stepped forward, getting fairly close to him, and making him look up at her.  Her sheathed sword was held in both hands, tightly, as if she would ever drop it.

“Yeah?”

The silence between them was deafening, their eyes locked on one another.  (y/n’s) head went fuzzy as her heart beat erratically and loudly.  Suddenly she wasn’t sure what she was going to say, distracted by the way he looked at her with every ounce of his attention.

Like he wouldn’t miss what she had to say for anything in the world.

“Are you ready to go in?” She asked, weakly jerking her thumb towards the school.  “It’s kinda cold out here”

“Oh, right,” Megumi cleared his throat and nodded.  “Yeah, yeah let’s go in, it’s late too”

They silently walked beside each other, both moving dreadfully slow, and perfectly in sync.  Neither one wanted to part ways with the other, as they both tried to drag out what few minutes they had left for the night.

(y/n’s) room was the first one in the hall, so she stopped first, giving Megumi a small smile as she opened her door.

“Thanks for letting me sleep on you in the car,” She told him.  “Next time you can just wake me up though”

Megumi tilted his head in the slightest, before shaking it.

“I won’t” He replied.

It was a short answer, but she knew in his tone that he was absolutely sincere.

Now it was her turn to feel her face get warm as her cheeks went pink.  And then slowly, a smile tugged on her lips.

“Okay,” She murmured softly.  “Goodnight, Megumi”

“Goodnight” He nodded at her, before heading down to his own room.

As (y/n) went into her dorm and shut her door, she couldn’t help her grin as she was filled with butterflies and warmth.  A strange and peculiar feeling, but a welcomed one. ___

Pins and needles shot up (y/n’s) legs with every step she took, but it didn’t slow her pace from sprinting one bit.

“Megumi!” She screamed into the dark woods, but the only sound that came back was her own echo and the harsh shrieks of crows that she’d scared out of the trees.

Pushing herself further, she continued her frantic search through the night, feeling more desperate with every minute that passed without him calling back to her.

“Megumi!”

After taking care of the special grade that had tried to poison Nobara and Yuji, (y/n) had grabbed her sword and taken off into the shadows, her mind already on it’s next mission, to find-

“Fushiguro! Where are you!?”

Kugisaki and Itadori weren’t too far behind her, or so she assumed.  She knew that they’d followed her once they’d realized where she was going, but the couple of times that she’s looked over her shoulder, all she’s seen was darkness.  However, she didn’t slow down in hopes of them catching up to her.  She just wanted to find her friend, and make sure he was okay.

Then once she knew he was safe, she was going to attack him.

“Megumi! Megumi!” She screamed for as long as her body would let her before gasping for air.

She needed to know why he had forced her away.  And why he had apologized for it.

He’d asked her not to be mad at him, but she couldn’t help it.  She was pissed.  Livid, even.

“Megumi! Please! Where are you!?”

Did he think she couldn’t handle it? Was he trying to risk his own life to keep her and the others safe? She hated his stupid spiel about dying for the sake of others.  She’d always admired Megumi for his intellect, but if she were to find out that was his plan, she was going to stab him once she found him.

If you find him, a voice in the back of her head taunted.

“Megumi-!”

Suddenly her body stopped, and she almost fell down from the sudden force.

There laid a familiar body in the dirt.  It was bruised, and the face was covered in blood, but she still recognized the sea urchin mess of hair on their head.

“Oh fuck,” She mumbled, before her feet picked up and she was sprinting again.  “Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck- no no no no-”

This time she actually did fall as she approached him, her knees hitting the ground hard as she crawled the rest of the way, dropping her sword as she looked him over, too scared to touch him.

“Megumi? Oh fuck- oh god please be okay- Megumi? Can You hear me?”

Tears welled up in her eyes, every second that passed without a response from him seemed like an eternity.

Finally, she forced herself to fall against his chest, keeping her ear firm against his body as she tried to listen for a heartbeat.  But her own heart was thundering so loud in her ears, and as she began to cry she couldn’t contain her whimpers, she wasn’t able to listen for a pulse.

“I’m alive, dumbass,”

She moved so fast that her hair got in his face, definitely getting his blood stuck in her tangled mess- not that she cared, or even noticed.

Megumi coughed, his eyes squeezing shut as he came back into consciousness.  Fuck, his head hurt.

“You should check for a pulse at the throat, like under the jaw,” He told her, before weakly lifting his hand to place his fingers at the spot under her ear.  “It’s more accurate-”

“Fushiguro, I hate you,” (y/n) sobbed out, smacking his hand away from her face, before throwing herself forward, her arms wrapping around his neck as she hugged him tightly.  “You’re so lucky you’re alive because I’m gonna kill you!”

“Oh” Was all Megumi could mutter.  He was barely grounded enough to remember what had happened, but after a minute passed, it came back to him.

When (y/n) pulled away, he gave her a sheepish apologetic smile.

“Uh, sorry?” He offered.

“Why does it sound like you aren’t?” (y/n) asked, raising a brow.  “I mean seriously, what were you thinking? You could have died!”

“But I didn’t?” Megumi responded, still not sounding sure of himself.

From the way (y/n’s) eyebrows furrowed and her lips pulled into a deep frown, he knew that he wasn’t saying any of the right things.

Then again, when did he ever say the right thing?

With winces and mutters of curses, he pushed himself up off the ground with the palms of his hands, before hissing and raising one of his hands to hold his head.

(y/n’s) heart dropped seeing him in pain, and her anger subsided just for a moment so she could use her sleeve to wipe some of the blood off of his face.

“I’m still mad at you” She told him, just to be sure he didn’t think this meant she’d forgive him.

“I don’t really care,” Megumi sighed, pulling her bloodied hand off his face.

She opened her mouth to object, but he was faster than her.

“I’m just glad you’re okay, that’s all I wanted.  Where’s Yuji and Nobara?”

“They’re on their way- but what do you mean? You know I could have helped you, it’s not like I’m defenseless,” She said, nodding off to her hook sword on the ground.  “In fact, I might have really enjoyed decapitating some curses, but no the genius Megumi here had to go shoving me through a portal!”

Megumi rolled his eyes at her sarcastic rambling, before smiling lovingly at her.  The expression went unnoticed as she continued mouthing off, throwing her hands in the air in annoyance.

“Seriously you could have died dealing with that on your own! Do you think I’m weak? Is that it? Because you don’t look too good yourself, pal.  You have blood coming out of your head, that usually means death is upon you! Do you want to kill me, Megumi? Is that it? You want to wake up just in time for me to see you and then drop dead right in front of me? Because that would kill me, it would ruin my life! So go ahead Megumi.  Ruin my life and die right now since you waited so long.  Go on-”

Finally she looked back at him, seeing his stupid smile and glazed over eyes.  She stopped ranting immediately, caught off guard by it.

“What?” She asked, again dropping her anger as worry took over.  “What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you’re the prettiest person I’ve ever seen,” He told her, his eyes wandering over her face before looking back up at her.  “And I’m so relieved that you’re okay” He breathed out, a long exhale like he had been certain she was dead until this moment.

(y/n) blinked, her lips parting in shock and her face flooding with color at the comment.  Megumi did always have a way of making her a bit bashful, but he’d never said anything like that- she was about to go into cardiac arrest.

“Oh no,” She mumbled, making his brows furrow.  “You must have really hit your head, we need to get you home so that Shoko can fix you up-”

Her hands shakily grabbed his arms, tugging on them to help him stand, but he didn’t budge, just laughed and shook his head.

“(y/n/n) I’m fine, I’m fine,” He had to grab her wrists to stop her from yanking on him.  “I’m sorry I made you go,” He told her sincerely this time.

(y/n) stopped her movements, staring back at him, her tears falling from her eyelashes no matter how much she tried to keep herself from crying.

“I know you could have handled it, I do, really, I don’t think you’re weak.  Honestly, I think you were more than capable of handling it on your own,” He said.  “But, um, when you said you’d stay, all I could think about was how I couldn’t bear to see you get hurt, or- or killed,”

One of his hands on her wrist slid down to her hand, which was curled into a tight fist.

“So I made the selfish choice and made you go with Yuji, cause I knew he could protect you”

(y/n) let out a small scoff of a laugh, her lips tugging into a smile as she shook her head.

“Protect me?” She repeated in disbelief.  “Come on Megumi, you know I was out there covering his ass the whole time”

Megumi laughed with her, his smile mimicking hers.

“I know,” He admitted.  “I’m sorry”

“Well,” (y/n) sighed.  “I guess since we’re both alive, I’ll forgive you,” She tilted her head to the side as she looked him over, making sure his injuries really weren’t life threatening.  “But if you ever even think about pulling that shit again?”

She shoved her finger into his chest threateningly, putting on her best serious face.

“I’ll kill you, alright?”

“Alright, I believe you,” He said, swatting her hand away.  “You don’t have to threaten me anymore”

“Oh I’ll be threatening you for the rest of our lives” She said, barely able to keep a straight face.

Megumi grinned back at her.

“I should hope so”

(y/n’s) blush darkened as she looked away, biting down on her lip to keep from smiling too much.

He wasn’t sure what came over him- maybe it was the near death experience, or the rush of adrenaline he felt waking up to see (y/n) was alive and well, but he brought his hand up, turning her chin so she’d look back at him again.

Her smile fell, but only because she was stunned by the soft and gentle action.

She didn’t say anything as his hand slid up to her cheek, his cold palm a jolt to her overheated body.

He didn’t say anything either as he leaned up slowly, cautiously, waiting for a sign from her that she wouldn’t want him to close the rest of the short distance between them.

(y/n) only looked down at his lips before closing her eyes, leaning in a little bit of the way as well.

Megumi smiled, closing his eyes and moving up quickly to connect their lips.

“HOLY SHIT ARE YOU GUYS GONNA KISS!?”

The pair jumped apart before their lips could even touch, both swiveling around to see Yuji a few feet away, out of breath, and leaning against his knees.

The boy was gasping for air so hard, (y/n) thought he might puke.

Nobara was beside him, panting, but not in as bad of shape as he was.

“They were totally gonna kiss,” She snickered, unable to keep from teasing them.  “If we had taken a break when you wanted to Yuji, we’d probably have caught them rolling around in the dirt” She added, kicking at the sticks and leaves”

(y/n) scoffed, before standing up, and helping Megumi to his feet too.

“I’m not even going to respond,” She said, slinging Megumi’s arm over her shoulders before wrapping her own arm around his waist.  “Because you just want to get a reaction out of me, and our friend is hurt, so we should be focused on getting back to the school!”

Nobara and Yuji gave each other suggestive looks, smirking and wiggling their eyebrows like they were so suave for catching the pair just in time.

“You’re not funny!” (y/n) said, wagging her finger at them.  “Now come on, let’s go home!”

The childish two just burst into giggles, getting exactly what they wanted out of their teasing.

“You fell for it” Megumi muttered, earning a glare from the girl holding him up.

“I’ll drop you” She muttered back, making him smile.

Nobara and Yuji snapped out of their mature behavior, and Megumi was able to offer his winnings to Yuji, proudly displaying one of Sukuna’s fingers.  

“Just don’t let Sukuna eat it, we’ll figure out something to-”

Before Megumi could finish, and before Yuji could take the finger, a fanged mouth appeared on the palm of his hand, and happily swallowed the finger.

All four of them stared at the boy’s hand, terrified, and in disbelief.

“Well, I guess we just shouldn’t tell anyone” (y/n) suggested quietly, breaking the silence. ___

The car ride home felt longer than ever as Megumi spent the entire time forcing himself to stare out the window.  He knew that (y/n) kept casting him glances, hoping to meet his eyes, but he didn’t budge.

That was okay with her, she understood he was embarrassed about what happened.  She was still amused by the color in his cheeks for the duration of the ride.

When they got back to the school, (y/n) stuck by Megumi’s side as they made their way through the corridors, chatting with Yuji and Nobara about their fight with the Special Grade.  He was quiet for most of it, and she couldn’t tell if it was his embarrassment or his exhaustion, but she didn’t push him.

Until Gojo approached the group, then (y/n) was quick to tap Megumi’s arm and gesture to a side hall, a shortcut to the dorms, and an escape route from their flamboyant teacher.

“Good idea” Megumi finally spoke, and she gave him a smile.

“I figured you’d have a big enough headache anyways” She said.

Megumi let out a small laugh, it was strained and awkward, and he couldn’t help but bring his hand up to the back of his neck, but (y/n) laughed with him nonetheless.

She looked up at him now, watching him fluster and stare at the floor, smiling at how nervous he was.

“Megumi?”

He hummed, barely looking over at her for a second before looking back at the floor.

“Were you trying to kiss me earlier?”

He stopped in place, his head snapping up to look at her, and she smiled softly to ease his (obvious) nerves.  However as much as she enjoyed seeing him squirm, she didn’t want to freak him out.

His mouth was open, but no words came out.  (y/n) folded her hands behind her back, watching him patiently.

“It’s okay if you were,” She told him after a few awkward beats passed.  “And I guess it’s okay if you weren’t… but… it’d be really okay if you were”

Now she was blushing as she was struggling to maintain eye contact.  She thought it’d be easy to be the confident one, but she’d underestimated the power of his pretty eyes.

“What.. uh… what does that mean? Exactly?” He stammered, making her giggle.

“Yaknow,” (y/n) shrugged a shoulder.  “If you ever wanted to, I wouldn’t exactly push you away or anything”

A small smile tugged on his lips, which blossomed into a larger smile.

He dropped his hand from the back of his neck, and then stepped forward, closing some of the distance between them.  (y/n) had to bite down on her lip from grinning too hard.  She had to tilt her head up to look him in the eye, a mischievous gleam in hers that Megumi couldn’t miss if he tried.

“Are you going to kiss me or n-?”

Before she could even finish, he had cupped her face and pressed his lips against hers, ending her question and making her melt right into his hands.  It took her a second to process it, but when it finally clicked in her brain, she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back breathlessly.

When they parted, she was smiling against his lips.  Megumi could tell, even when he hadn’t opened his eyes yet.

“I kinda wanted to do that for a while” He murmured, finally looking down at her.

“I kinda wanted you to do that for a while too” (y/n) agreed.

When she looked at him, Megumi found nothing but adoration in her eyes.  It made his heart do that thing where it felt like it was going to burst.

He realized that strange and peculiar feeling he’d gotten used to flaring up whenever (y/n) was around was just love.

“I’m sorry it took so long,” He told her quietly, his thumb stroking over her cheek.  “I didn’t know you felt the same”

(y/n) laughed as she leaned her face further into his comforting palm.

“I wouldn’t have been so upset with you earlier if I didn’t”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” She affirmed with a small smile.  “If I didn’t care about you then I would have happily left you for dead- which you would have been, had I not shown up”

“What?” Megumi’s jaw dropped.  “Are you serious? I handled myself-!”

“You looked dead when I found you”

He dropped his hands from her face to cross them over his chest, and (y/n) laughed at his attempt to be intimidating.

“But I wasn’t.  Looking dead isn’t the same thing as being dead, idiot”

She laughed harder the more he tried to argue.

“Whatever you say, Fushiguro” She said.  He knew that she wasn’t taking him seriously- even though he was being completely serious- because of her sweet tone, but he gave up.

“Alright then, come on (y/l/n) I need help getting patched up”

He nodded for her to follow him as he took off down the hall.  (y/n) was still laughing as she followed after him, not minding one bit how dense the smartest person she knew could be.

Megumi reached his hand out behind him, and she happily snatched it, bouncing to walk by his side the rest of the way to the infirmary.

And anywhere he would go after that.

“Can you carry me the rest of the way?” Megumi teased.

(y/n) jabbed her elbow into his side. ___

xoxo ~ jordie

[caitimetravels]

she’s insignificant

chapter 2: welcome home

the umbrella academy x (fem) reader

disclaimer: i do not own the plot/storyline of the netflix tv series and i do not own the umbrella academy characters.

warnings: mentions of death, mentions of drugs and alcohol, poor parenting

masterlist

“number eight! this is serious! if you do not train properly you will not be allowed to join your siblings on missions.”

“number eight! that’s not how you behave!”

“no, number eight! how many times must you do this before you get it right?”

“no! not like that, number eight! you must be quicker, smarter, stronger! you’ll be a liability”

“no! again, number eight!” 

“number eight!”

“number eight!”

she wished it was stop. the yelling. the shouting. the insults. the pain. the training. all of it. her head hurt. she could feel the anger swirling around, growing. control. she needed control. relax.

she took a deep breath. again. again. she pushed herself over and over until she collapsed. she worked herself to the bone only to always be left with disapproving stares. the scowl. the glare. and then she was alone, forced to pick up the broken pieces and put herself together. she didn’t have her other siblings. their family dynamic wasn’t much of a family dynamic but just once she wished one of them could be there. even just to see what she was going through. it hurt that she was alone. she hated alone.

--------------------------------------------------

“um..” luther slowly stood, unsure. “i guess we should get this started” he looked around at his siblings sitting in parlour. they all sat separately with klaus making drinks at the bar in the back.

“are we having a family meeting?” y/n stepped into the room, confused. she paused as realisation crossed over their faces. “..you forgot me”

“sorry, y/n, we didn’t mean-” allison started, trying to defend them. y/n shook her head.

“no, no, don’t apologise. it’s okay.. let’s just get this over with” she waved off any concern, taking a seat beside vanya. in her lap sat a familiar book. 

--------------------------------------------------

“you’ll be okay” ben spoke softly, gently bandaging y/n’s arm. he gave her a small smile. the pair sat in the back of the library, secluded and separate. the others were too wrapped up in themselves to care. 

vanya stepped over a moment later. she frowned at the tears on y/n’s cheeks. taking a seat beside her she offered them the cookies she had stolen from the kitchen. they weren’t meant to have any until dessert but ben and vanya found this much more important. y/n sniffled, taking the cookie in her good arm. 

“thanks v” she gave a watery smile, eating a big bite of the cookie to stop the sobs about to escape her mouth. ben and vanya shared a frown over her head. 

“should we read something?” ben offered, pulling a random book off the shelf behind him. y/n merely nodded, she needed this to calm down her raging emotions. these two were the only two who understood. if her emotions went haywire so would her powers. 

“hm, little women? i didn’t think dad would have this” ben smiled at the cover. 

“pogo got it for me” y/n murmured softly, listening to her brother’s soothing voice as he read. she smiled, they were always able to calm her down.

--------------------------------------------------

“so, i figured we could have some sort of memorial service in the courtyard at sundown, say a few words” luther started again, “just at dad’s favourite spot”

“dad had a favourite spot?” allison asked, confused. 

“yeah, you know. under the oak tree” luther nodded, eyebrows furrowing. “we used to sit out there all the time.. did none of you ever do that?”

“will there be refreshments? tea, scones” klaus interrupted, walking to join them with a cigarette between his fingers and a glass of alcohol in his other hand. “cucumber sandwiches are always a winner” he waltzed over beside y/n who smiled at his laid-back attitude.

“what? no” luther shook his head, “and put that out, you know dad didn’t allow smoking in here” 

“is that my skirt?” allison questioned, looking down at klaus’ attire.

“what?” he mumbled distracted. he put his glass down before turning around. “oh, yeah, this. i found it in your room. it’s a little dated but its very breathy on the.. bits” he gestured.

“listen up” luther put on his leader voice, commanding as usual. “there’s still some things we need to discuss, alright?”

“like what?” diego snapped, obviously sick of this.

“like the way he died” 

“and here we go” diego rolled his eyes and luther glared at him.

“i don’t understand.. i thought they said it was a heart attack?” vanya spoke up, confused. klaus plopped down onto the couch now, wrapping his arm around y/n.

“what? he had a heart attack?” y/n’s eyebrows furrowed, she hadn’t been told that. they all looked at her, surprised.

“you didn’t know?” allison asked softly,

“no? you did?” 

“that’s only according to the coroner” luther chipped in, still pushing his theory.

“well, wouldn’t they know?” vanya raised an eyebrow.

“theoretically”

“theoretically?” allison asked.

“look, i’m just saying at the very least something happened. the last time that i talked to dad he sounded strange” 

“oh, tell us please” klaus gurgled through his drink, not at all serious. y/n would have laughed if she didn’t see the real reason luther was bringing this up. he thought one of them did it.

“strange how?” allison continued to push, incredulous. 

“he sounded on edge, told me i should be careful who to trust” luther frantically tried to convince them.

“luther” diego sighed, standing “he was a paranoid, bitter old man. he was starting to lose what was left of his marbles”

“no” he quickly shook his head, turning to him. “he must have known something was going to happen. look” he looked over at klaus. “i know you don’t like to do it but i need you to talk to dad”

klaus rolled around, disagreeing, “i can’t just call dad in the afterlife and be like dad can you stop playing tennis with hitler for a moment and take a quick call” he waved his cigarette around, sitting up and letting go of y/n.

“since when? that’s your thing”

“i’m not in the right frame of mind!”

“you’re high?” allison looked up,

“yeah, yeah!” klaus laughed, nodding his head, “i mean how are not listening to this nonsense?”

“well, sober up, this is important” klaus merely sighed, “then there’s the issue of the missing monocle” 

diego scoffed, “who’s give a shit about a stupid monocle?”

“exactly, it’s worthless” luther was only digging himself a bigger hole, “so, whoever took it i think it was personal. someone close to him, someone with a grudge”

“yes, cause that’s all we need” y/n rolled her eyes, exasperated “more grudges”

“where are you going with this?” klaus narrowed his eyes, confused.

“well, isn’t it obvious, klaus?” diego sneered up at luther, “he thinks one of us killed dad”

luther opened his mouth to deny it but nothing came out. it was true.

“and i bet your top suspect is little y/n” diego pointed a finger right at the said girl. she froze.

“what?”

“you do!” klaus sat back, shocked. 

“how could you think that?” vanya stared in disbelief.

y/n stood abruptly and everyone watched as her eyes turned black. the same way they used to when she had trouble controlling her emotions. they watched as she quickly shook her head, storming out.

“great job luther” diego mocked, “way to lead” then he begun to walk away. 

“that’s not what i’m saying” he tried to defend himself but nobody listened.

“you’re crazy man, you’re crazy.. crazy” klaus stood too, picking up his drink. vanya went to walk away, following diego.

“i’m not finished” luther attempted to stop them. 

“okay well sorry, i’m just gonna go help y/n murder mom, i’ll be right back” he commented sarcastically, walking away. 

“that’s not what i’m saying-” it was no use.

y/n curled up beside ben’s statue, book pressed against her chest. she took deep breaths, trying to regain control. her breath came out shaky as she rocked slowly. eventually she relaxed, leaning into the side of the statue. her cheek pressed against the cold concrete. with a final sigh she looked up at him. 

“hey..” she spoke softly, “i brought our book” she gave a weak chuckle, showing the statue the book she had been cradling. 

“i finished again.. should i start again?” 

diego stood in the doorway, watching her talk. he frowned, she was so sweet. it wasn’t her fault she was born with such a horrible curse. he understood why she got along so well with ben, they both hated their powers. it made training unbearable for them. she begun to read aloud, still leaning into the statue as she sat on the gravel covered floor. with a sigh he walked away, she would be okay, she just needed time. 

time didn’t heal y/n, no matter how much she wished it would. she didn’t have anybody, everybody left her. she had to get over everything all by herself. her words started to come out stuttered, her voice cracked. slowly she begun to sob, tears wetting the pages of her book. she wiped them from her face, standing up. she had to be calm.

she spared one last glance at the statue before walking away.

--------------------------------------------------

“number eight, you must always keep your emotions in check” reginald scolded, glancing up from his notebook. he scribbled something else, ignoring her watery eyes.

“b-but i can’t” she sobbed out, she was young. her siblings were allowed to show emotion why couldn’t she?

“then you are weak!” reginald snapped his book shut, raising his eyes to glare at her. the words shouldn’t have hurt as much as they did. she was never enough, she was always going to be weak. she needed to do better, to be better. to be strong. 

--

“emotions, number eight” the girl supressed her smile at the name her mother had just given her. he wouldn’t even use it. her face fell blank.

“emotions, number eight” the girl took a deep breath, no anger. nothing. you cannot feel. she closed her eyes for a moment, controlling her urge to destroy something. she opened them to see a confused diego. this wasn’t how she was meant to react, he had stolen the ring her mother had given her. she just walked away. 

“emotions, number eight” she caught ben’s eye across the table. he nodded softly. she breathed calmly, no dessert. she was weak, she didn’t deserve dessert. five frowned from beside her, looking between her and their father. something was wrong.

“emotions, number eight” reginald turned on her. she stood, hands gripping the table until her knuckles turned pale. how could he let five go? as she raised her head she heard gasps from her siblings. pogo and reginald shared a look as she glared at the latter, taking a moment to calm herself. it wasn’t working. she was struggling to keep her emotions at bay, she couldn’t supress them. “y/n..” vanya whispered as she ran from the table. she couldn’t do it. he was gone and she hadn’t stopped him.

“emotions, number eight” she couldn’t do it. not this time. she shook her head. her eyes filled with tears. she couldn’t. “number eight! emotions!” she shook her head again, all she could feel was pain. it was her fault. she let him die. her siblings must hate her. her father hates her. ben would hate her. she let him die. she watched him die. 

“number eight! your emotions!” reginald’s voice got louder and she heard herself scream. everything was crumbling. he was gone, it was her fault. “number one, do it” 

it was all.. her fault..

--------------------------------------------------

on her way to the staircase she paused. her eyes lingered on the painting. five’s painting. she felt herself move without wanting to. she stepped into the room, looking up at her brother sadly.

“i’m sorry” she frowned, “i’m so sorry, five. i shouldn’t have let you go. i should have gone after you. i’m sorry, you must be so alone and i lied. i’m sorry for lying.. i should have done better, i should have listened to dad.. i couldn’t bring you back and it’s all my fault. it’s always my fault.. i’m sorry five, i’m so sorry..” 

“sweetie?” she looked over to see grace. “who are you apologising to? did something happen to you?” the blonde robot walked over, glancing over her to see if she had hurt herself.

“oh, no, it’s okay mom” she smiled fakely, trying to reassure her mother. “i was just thinking out loud. nothing to worry about”

“oh, alright, sweetie” she smiled again, “how about something to eat?”

“i’m okay, thanks. i think i’m just going to rest” grace nodded, allowing her to leave.

she wouldn’t be okay, not until she could stop blaming herself. she took one last look at five' picture before she closed her eyes, trying to stop her tears. when she opened them she appeared in her bedroom. she quickly shut the door, locking it. at least in here she couldn’t do anymore damage.

--------------------------------------------------

“number eight” reginald’s voice was disappointed but y/n couldn’t find it in herself to care. so what if she was a failure, she had always been one anyways. “you are no longer allowed to go on missions with your siblings”

she didn’t raise her head. he wasn’t done. this is what she deserved. “you will instead be working on locating number five”

she froze, staring up at him in shock.

“what?”

--------------------------------------------------

a flash of blue light outside her window broke her out of her thoughts. she stood from her bed, glancing down at the courtyard. it couldn’t be..

[xoxo-teddybear]

What Have I Done? - Bakugou Katsuki- pt.2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of suicidal thoughts, fluff, insane behavior, nsfw, noncon! Dubcon!, murder, stalking, abusive behavior, yandere!Bakugou, cursing, blood, lowkey kinda slow burn (meaning the beginning is a little boring BUT IT GETS GOOD I SWEAR😭)

Ep. Warnings: Angst, hitting, cursing, stalking, kidnapping, murder

Summary: It’s been awhile since you’ve left him. Two months actually but it was two months too long. Katsuki was slowly going insane and I guess you could say he officially has because he’s officially snapped. You become his main target, his number one priority, his entire being even though you’re trying to leave him. But Katsuki won’t let you. You’re his..and in the words of Bakugou Katsuki..you always will be.

A/N: ....I made it a yandere story y’all. OH SHI-

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Chapter 1

Twitch, twitch, twitch. That’s all Katsuki’s body been doing. Either his eyes or his fingers, his body is uncomfortably moving. Shit doesn’t feel right for him. And he knows exactly why. You left him.

The first week was horrible. All Katsuki did was cry. He even kept his destroyed home in shambles because he couldn’t find the motivation to do anything. If it wasn’t for Kirishima, Katsuki would have starved himself to death. The second week was just as bad. Nothing but a crying baby being taken care of by his best friend.

The third week is when Katsuki become a drunkard. He made Kirishima and the boys of the Bakusquad constantly take him out whenever. As long as the place served alcohol, he would go. He would go and drink himself to sleep. While he was intoxicated he would cry about how he misses you and how he was a terrible husband. He always said you deserved better but he was too in love with you to let you go. The 4th week was pretty much the same.

After a whole month without you, Katsuki threw himself into depression. For the entirety of the second month, he locked himself within the walls of his home. Thankfully, it was now considered a home environment once again after his dear friends cleaned the place up for him. Katsuki stayed inside all day, drank his soul away every night, and sobbed constantly. Constantly regretting how he neglected you, how he mistreated you, and how he hurt you. He doesn’t even know how he even brought himself to do that. Even though he’s been alone for almost 2 months, he still had hope that you would come back. That things would go back to normal and he would be a better husband to you, just like he promised.

Katsuki felt himself going mad and slipping away, but what pulled the trigger was what Kirishima brought to him on the 6th week.

—

Flashback

“WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?”

Katsuki looked down at the papers in his hands. Kirishima had walked in with a nervous and sad look on his face when he gave Katsuki the papers you had the red head deliver. “Sorry man...”

Katsuki shook as he stared at the divorce papers with wide eyes. He saw you already signed it and all the paper needed was his signature. His face grew dark as something in his mind snapped. Katsuki turned to his friend and instructed him to get out of his home.

“What? Man are you alright?” Kirishima said. He walked to his best friend and when he reached a hand out for him, Katsuki pulled on his arm and pushed him out the door. He slammed it shut and locked it as he looked at the papers.

A scary smile grew on the man’s face. His eyes grew crazy as he laughed maniacally. Hysterically. As if what he held was the most hilarious thing in the world. His palms began to spark as he used his quirk to destroyed the papers. The quick blast made his hair floof around a bit and when it was over, a pile of ashes lay at his feet.

“She-....she thinks she can leave me?” Bakugou began to walk to the framed picture on the coffee table. He picked up the picture of you both on your last anniversary and ran his finger over the image of you. “Poor Princess....you can’t leave me. You need me. Just as much as I need you. I mean..hehe...look at what I mess I’ve been. I can only assume you must be worse. But it’s okay, love...I’ll find you soon enough..and I’ll help you feel better,” he walked to his bedroom and layed down on the soft mattress as he held the frame close to his chest as he stared sinisterly at the ceiling, “and we’ll never be apart again.”

—

The 7th week was when it began. Katsuki took some time off of work. He was gonna be too busy for hero work. He had something much more important to do. He had to bring you home.

Katsuki spent the 7th week looking for information on you. He was up 24/7 reading all he can, talking to as many people as he can, and doing all the digging he could until he found you. Unfortunately for him but luckily for you, he found nothing. It pissed him off. How could you have completely erased your existence? Did you just go into hiding or was he not searching hard enough.

This time, the luck switched. Katsuki was just walking to the store when he looked to the far side and saw you in a cab. He had to do a double take to make sure he wasn’t mistaken but after a good glance and taking a picture for confirmation, he knew it was you. His body almost betrayed him as he almost went in to run after you but luckily his brain stopped him. He had to think. Katsuki hid in an alleyway nearby as he watched you from the side. When the driver continued down the road, that’s when he began to follow you. He used his hero training and quirk to keep up with the car. He followed you for miles until the cab finally stopped at some hotel. He watched you walk in and decided this was far enough.

He knew where you were now. He could wait a little longer before snatching you up. If he did it now in broad daylight, chaos would break out. He had to wait for the perfect moment to get you back. He was okay with waiting. He knew where you’ve been staying, how to get there, and knew what time you got back from wherever that cab picked you up. And then it hit him. The cab.

Katsuki went back to look at the picture he took of you in the cab and checked the license plate. With this information, he went home to find where the vehicle was.

Katsuki busted the door open to his home and ran straight to his in-home office. He went to log onto his work laptop that he used for hero work. The laptop contained the tools and websites that would allow him to find the cab. He finally reached the site he was looking for and went back to the picture. There, he typed in the license plate number.

“よ 57-342” he whispered aloud. Finally, he located the vehicle and went to find it. Katsuki followed the location until he found the house where the driver stayed. He waited in hiding, hoping someone would come out and hoped that the someone would be the driver. He waited and waited until finally, after almost 2 hours of waiting, a man came out. Katsuki quickly pulled up the picture and made sure it was the same person who was driving you, and to his luck, it was.

He quickly ran to the driver before he could get into the cab and pulled him into a dark corner. He slammed the man up against the wall and pulled up a picture of you. “Listen! You dropped this girl off at a hotel, I need to know where you picked her up! Tell me! Now!”

“W-whoa!” The driver exclaimed as he took notice of Katsuki’s identity. “Y-you’re Dynamight!”

Katsuki sucked his teeth at the fact that this guy knew who he was but then again, he wasn’t surprised. He was the number 2 hero after all. “Yeah! I am! Now tell me where you picked up my wife you dog-faced loser!” He screamed.

“Y-you’re wife??” The man looked at the picture and recognized you and the name you gave him. “Oh! M-Miss Y/N! Yes! Uh-..uh- I- she- I- ..I picked her up from a gym!” The man exclaimed.

“What gym?! Tell me!!!” Bakugou shouted at the man.

“I-I’m sorry! I don’t know if I can! She- she said she got divorced so how can I trust you’re her husband?!” The man shouted in fear.

“Are you calling me a liar?! I’m a fucking pro-hero! Why would I pull some bullshit like that! Tell me where my wife was! What?! Gym?!” Bakugou screamed once more. In fear, the man gave Katsuki the information he needed.

“Hosu Gym!” The man shook and Bakugou stared for a minute to scare the poor guy before dropping him to the ground. As he walked away, the man spoke up once more. “D-Dynamight, sir. I-If miss Y/N doesn’t want to see you..and you’re forcing information out of people..I’ll have to tell the authorities..sir.”

“You’re not gonna do a damn thing. You hear me?!” The pro screamed. Bakugou side eyed the man as he watched the driver get up from the ground.

“Sir. From the small conversation we had in the car, Miss Y/N said she was divorced-“

“We aren’t divorced!!” Bakugou said as he made a random explosion to intimidate the man. “We are still together, and she is still my wife, and none of this is any of your business!” Bakugou began to walk away but heard the driver grumble something under his breath that triggered something in his brain.

“I can see why she left a crazed man like you...” the driver mumbled. Katsuki quickly snapped his body to face the man and jumped on him. His burning hand found it’s way around the man’s neck and began to squeeze.

“The hell did you say?! You’re gonna wish you never said that you fucking fool, cuz now those are gonna be your last words!” Bakugou said before he activated an explosion and killed the man. Katsuki took deep breaths before realizing what he did and for some reason, he felt no remorse. And he knows why.

“That idiot should’ve known better than to talk about me and Y/N like that...s’his own fault he died.” Bakugou said before walking away from the gruesome scene. He acted like nothing happened as he made his way to Hosu Gym. He just needed to know what time your got there and when. Then, he could finally go home before continuing his plan for the next day.

—

The blonde decided to wait for some time before he went into the building. It was getting dark and so the gym would be closing soon. He waited and waited until finally, the place was empty. Empty except for the man who worked at the front desk.

Katsuki slipped in right before closing and hid himself in the locker room. He waited 10 minutes before going out and finding the one employee he saw. After exploring the area, Katsuki found the man sitting on a bench. He snuck up behind him, and pounced. He covered the man’s mouth as he tugged him into the back room. Once inside, The blonde threw the man in and locked the door to prevent anyone getting in or out.

“W-What is going on? D-Dynamight, what is happening?” The employee asked in fear. He assumed a threat was going on or some trouble was taking place outside of the gym. He had no idea the trouble was standing right in front of him.

“I need you to tell me when this lady came in.” Bakugou said and pulled up a picture of you. The man looked at the picture and shook his head.

“I’m sorry, but I don’t recognize-“

“YOU WILL! This woman came in here today and I need to know what time! TELL ME!” Bakugou screamed as he lit sparks in his palm. The man shook in fear at the hero’s booming voice and began to look harder. After a minute, he finally spoke.

“I- I remember. She came in hours ago! Sometime around 12 to 2!” The man said in hopes the yelling would stop. It didn’t.

“ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! There’s a huge space in between! I need to know exactly what time she came in! Don’t you morons have a sign in?!” Bakugou screamed.

“We do! We do sir!” The man nodded his head in fear. Bakugou huffed before walking over to him and dragging him by his collar to seat him on the chair in front of the computer.

“Then get into your data base and FIND MY WIFE!” The blonde screamed. The worker nodded frantically before getting right into it. Bakugou watched his every move and the computer. He kept a sparkling hand right next to the man’s head to keep him intimidated as he worked. Eventually, Bakugou saw your profile picture on the screen when the man scrolled down. “Stop. Her. Check what time she came in.”

The man read the drafts and spoke. “1:30 p.m.”

Bakugou nodded before walking to the door and unlocking it. He turned to the trembling man and gave a quick warning with a sinister smile. “If I ever find out that you told anybody, even your own damn friends or family, about what happened tonight, I won’t hesitate to come back and kill you. Am I clear?”

The man gave a quick and jittery “y-yes sir!” As he watched the pro-hero leave the room. Once Bakugou was gone, the man let out a breath of relief and allowed the few tears he was holding back to fall. Bakugou Katsuki definitely struck fear into those of the lives he met.

With this simple information, Bakugou smirked as he walked out the gym doors. He knows where you live, what gym you go to, what day you go, and what time you arrive. You were always a very punctual person. You had a schedule and you followed it through and through. He completely trusted the fact that when he came back here next week, he would be sure to see you. All he had to do now was wait 7 days.

—

7 days have passed and Katsuki was waiting for your presence in the gym. After finding out you arrived at 1:30, he showed up almost an hour earlier at 12 just in case. He waited and waited for you to show. He was almost out of patience, but after seeing that it was only 1:00, he settled the slightest bit. It wasn’t until he took notice of a familiar figure at the desk.

The man Katsuki had threaten nights ago was shivering and shaking in his boots as he greeted people at the door. He was aware that the pro hero was in the building and after the incident of what went down that night, he was definitely scared for his life. Bakugou began to walk to the man and said man could feel a scary aura coming around. When he turned, he was greeted with the sight of a smirking Katsuki.

“Hey friend,” Bakugou said with his hands in his pockets.

The man jumped at the sound of his voice and his scary presence made his eyes teary. “H-Hello Dynamight.”

“Thought I’d just come by to warn you again. When Y/N walks through those doors, don’t you fucking dare try telling her about me or my presence here. Got that.....” Katsuki said looking down at the man’s name tag. “Hiro Itadori? ‘Cuz if you do, your body goes boom. Understand?”

“Y-Yes Sir!” Hiro said as he looked to the ground with wide eyes as he felt himself break into a cold sweat. Bakugou patted the man’s back, causing him to flinch but when the hero walked away right after, Hiro calmed down. Unfortunately, that only lasted for about a second before you walked in.

“Hello Hiro!” You joyfully said. Your voice reached the ears of your ex-husband. Or more so, your “supposed to be” ex-husband. His ears perked up and he smirked as he hid behind a corner wall, taking the view of you in.

“Y/N.” He whispered to himself. He smiled and a blush bloomed on his porcelain skin as he admired you from afar. You were just as beautiful as he remembered. If anything, your looks seemed to have only gotten better. He watched as the man nervously greeted you and allowed you to go through with your workout. Katsuki smirked as he knew the man gave no hint at him being there, and so he would be able to watch you in peace.

Katsuki wasn’t there to keep tabs on your workout and what exercises you did. He was there just to watch you. Of course, while doing so, he admired you, but he was there to gain selfish intel. He watched you from start to end. Once you finished he followed you to your next location. It was still early and so it was safe to assume you weren’t heading to bed yet. He followed you back to your hotel and waited in another area until you walked out again. Sure enough, you did.

For the rest of the day, Bakugou followed and stalked your every move. He watched where you work, where you spent your free time, he followed you to the new cafe you seemed to enjoy, and then he followed you back to your hotel. Instead of waiting in another area and watching from afar, Bakugou climbed the side of the building and watched you from your hotel balcony through the glass door. He payed attention to your every move and noted what time you went to bed. Satisfied with the day’s revelations, he went back to his own home.

Knowing this information, Katsuki was able to sleep a little more peacefully. For the next few weeks, Katsuki followed this procedure. He became a full time stalker, even going so far as to call out of work for some time to put his full attention in you. He watched you like a hawk. He took note of everywhere you went, where you ate, who you spoke to, and what you did. All of it became engraved into his brain.

Now, Katsuki stood at your balcony for the umpteenth time as he stared at your sleeping form. It was deep into the night and with the moonlight on his back, he found enough courage and craze to open the door. He walked in quietly and shut the door, blocking the chilly air from seeping in to awaken your unconscious state. He approached your bed and crouched down to meet your face.

“Still as perfect as ever,” he whispered as he removed a few strands of hair out of your face. His touch didn’t seem to startle you and Katsuki took it as your body naturally indulging in his familiar touch. He blushed at the feeling of your oh so soft skin as his fingertips grazed your pillowy cheeks. His hand finally cupped the side of your face as his thumb drew circles along your skin. Your head unconsciously nuzzled into his warmth like it used to and Katsuki couldn’t help but smile. “Don’t worry Teddy Bear...I’ll bring you home soon.”

With that, Katsuki leaned down and softly placed a kiss on your lips. This was the lightest kiss he ever bestowed upon you. The pressure and weight was similar to a feather and the blonde struggled to restrain himself once he came in contact. He craved more but his mind knew better. Reluctantly, he pulled away and removed his hand from your face. He walked away, back to the balcony to take his leave but not before turning to look back at you. “Real soon.”

—

You woke up to a sense of familiarity in your room. Although you were alone, you could’ve sworn there was this chilling presence. It was faint but it was there. Taking in a breath and looking around at your surroundings, you reluctantly got out of bed and got ready for the day.

You did the usual. Got ready, got dressed, had breakfast, and went about your day. You went to the market to picked up a few things and ended up staying much longer than you liked. You walked in during daylight and came out when the sun was setting. You sighed in disappointment.

“Guess I can skip the gym this one time. I might as well get back home, read a book or two..” you went on talking to yourself about your schedule. You walked with the groceries in hand as you enjoyed the scenery on your way back, however, even with the shining sun creating it’s golden hour with a beautiful purple sky, you couldn’t help but feel wary of the stillness in the wind.

—

‘Where the fuck is she?!’ Bakugou thought to himself. He waited at the gym all damn day. He waited and waited to see your beautiful face but you never showed. If he had known that you would’ve skipped out on the gym today he wouldn’t have came here and wasted his time. Today was supposed to be the day. The day you came home.

Shaking off his negative thoughts, Bakugou continued with his backup plan. Although it would hurt his soul to bring harm to his precious princess, he reminded himself that he was doing this for her. He’s been so broken for the past months, he could only imagine how destroyed you must be. Hurting you was his way of helping you.

And so, Bakugou made his way to your hotel, where he found himself standing infront of your glass door at your balcony. To his dismay, you weren’t there. He released a huff before climbing down and once again, began to wait. He waited and waited in hiding, constantly on the lookout for you. It’s hard to find you in the city when you don’t follow your daily schedule, but knowing where you currently resided to get your rest made his job much easier.

Finally, after some time, he heard the familiar and comforting sound of your humming voice as you sang a little song to yourself. Bakugou took the sight of you in and blushed at your beauty from afar. He allowed himself to soak in the sound of your pretty voice before making his move. “Sorry Princess.”

—

You finally made it to the hotel. After your long stroll, you couldn’t wait to get some rest. Except, the closer you got, the more tense you became. You could feel the suspenseful aura in the air and your pace soon slowed down. Eventually, you came to a stop as your nerves got the best of you.

“Hello?” You said in the wind. You looked around and saw nothing but the pitch black night illuminated by the street lights and stars.

“Is someone there?” You asked again, turning your head another direction. Nothing but leaves in the wind. You released a sigh and continued your walk but became startled due to the sound of squirrels fighting in the trees.

“Ah!” You screamed and dropped your bag. After taking notice of the two animals going at it, you chuckled to yourself and turned to pick up your bag, unfortunately being startled once again at the sight of shoes in front of you. “AH!”

You jumped back in fear and took a fighting stance before you settled and relax at the sight of your supposed ex-husband. “Bakugou..it’s just you.”

“Mm, nope.” Bakugou said as he bent down to pick up your bag and hand it to you. “It’s Katsuki.”

His words sent your eyes rolling as you took your bag back with a hesistant hand. Something seemed..off.

“Not anymore. Thanks for the help. Bye.” You attempted to walk on to your hotel entrance but his arm stopped you.

“What? That’s it? Thanks? Bye?” Bakugou asked while gently pushing your body back in front of him. “We should talk, Y/N.”

“There’s nothing to talk abou-“

“There is.” Bakugou said with a firm voice, grabbing your full attention. Seeing your doe eyes look at him with caution caused him to settle. Bakugou sighed through his nose and allowed his hands to rest on your waist. “I miss you, Y/N. I want you to come back home.”

You shook your head at the idea and scrunched your eyes as you tried to step out of his hold. “Bakugou..”

“Hear me out, okay? It won’t be like last time, Teddy Bear-“

“You don’t know that-“

“I do. Because I’m going to try harder for you and I’m going to hold onto you and I’m not gonna ruin us for a second time. I still love you Y/N. I always have and I always will.” Bakugou sweetly said. You looked at him with the same eyes of caution before you placed your hands over his, giving him a sign of hope.

“I’m sorry, Bakugou,” you said, pulling his hands off of your waist. “I sent divorce papers. I don’t want to be with you anymore. I don’t love you anymore.”

“You don’t mean that.” Bakugou said with full confidence. Although you pulled his hands away from your waist, you still allowed him to keep a hold on your own hands.

“...I should.” You said looking down. With each word of denial, Bakugou took a step closer, invading your personal space. “You should get going-“

“No, Y/N-“

“Bakugou-“

“Baby. I know you still want me. I know you still love me and I know you’re excited that I’m back. I love you...and you love me. So just admit it.” He said, inches away from your face. You stared in his eyes with a look of longing...and a hint of love. He was right. You did still love him. But after the neglect and harm he’s brought you, you didn’t know if you did want to go back. You didn’t know.

Sensing your hesistation, Bakugou slowly moved in to close the gap between you two. His hands let go off yours as he wrapped his arms around your waist. His face inched closer to yours and when you didn’t stop him, he continued. Finally, he gently placed his lips upon your own and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel something again. His kisses always brought a comforting feeling of butterflies in your stomach and after a second of feeling his warm lips, you kissed him back. Your hands found way around his neck as you pulled him in deeper and you could feel Bakugou smile into the kiss. It was hot and passionate. You were out in the open but for a moment it felt like no one else in the world existed. You would’ve gotten lost in the kiss had it not been for you remembering the situation you were in with the man.

Reluctantly, you gently pushed Bakugou off of you, but he still managed to press his forehead to your own. “Katsuki...you should go home.”

“Not without you.” He softly said. You shook your head as you completely pushed him off of you and gathered your things.

“Please...just go.” You said and began to walk away but Bakugou held onto your arm to stop you from moving any further.

“I’m not leaving without you, Y/N. Come home.” He stated.

“Bakugou! Just leave!” You shouted as you turned to him. When you faced the blonde man, you were shocked to see a crazed smile decorating his face.

“Too bad. I’m not asking Y/N. I’m telling. You’re coming home with me. Tonight.” He said and you scoffed at him with slight fear.

“You’re crazy!” You said and tried to shake his hold off of you, but of course failed.

“About you? Yes.” He said as he pulled you in closer. You squirmed against his hold until he pressed you in his chest and kept you in his grasp. You continued to fight against him but he grabbed your face with one hand to force you to stop and look at him.

“Let me go!”

“Listen! You either come home with me the easy way..or my way.” He warned. You looked at him with fear laced all around your face as you watched his insane side surface. You began to squirm again and fight once more.

“I’m not going!” You spat. Bakugou just released a simple laugh before caressing the side of your face.

“Yes. You are.” With that, the gentle hand on the side of your face formed into a first as he swung and knocked you out. You dropped unconscious in his hold and Bakugou was quick to carry you princess style and walk away, abandoning your groceries on the sidewalk.

“Shoulda listened. Cant believe you forced me to hurt you like that, baby.” Bakugou spoke to your unconscious state as he walked back home through dead city streets. “Don’t worry though, I’ll take care of you once we make it back. And then, we’ll never be apart again. I promise.”

—

You awoke to chains being locked on your wrist that were tied against a headboard. You layed on a large mattress in a dark room with a dim light. As you looked around, you recognized the familiar place. The place you used to make love for hours with your ex-husband. The place where movie dates and cuddle sessions were a must. The place you locked yourself in before leaving your last relationship. Katsuki’s bedroom.

You tried to jump out of bed but the restraints pulled you back down. You tried to scream and only muffled sounds could be heard. Katsuki taped your mouth shut. You tried using your quirk but it didn’t work. You looked to your restraints and saw the cuffs he used to hold you were quirk restraining cuffs. With nothing else to do, you tossed and turned in the bed as you allowed the muffled sounds to be as loud as they could. Eventually, the ruckus you were making brought the attention of your captor. Katsuki Bakugou.

Hearing all the noise, Bakugou busted opened the door to be met with your frustrated and teary eyes. You glared at him as he smirked at your locked up state. He took the opportunity to walk up to you and caress your face.

“I’m so sorry I had to hit you baby,” he said leaning down to place a kiss on your forehead. “But you left me with no choice. All you had to do was come home on your own free will and I wouldn’t have had to do all that.”

You began to tremble with anger and fear as you stared up at the man. Your teary eyes challenged his insane rubies as he sat on the side of the bed.

“How does it feel to be back? Hm?” He asked, ripping off the tape. You groaned at the pain and grew sick as you saw Bakugou pervertedly lick his lips at the sound. You leaned back and huffed with heavy breath before answering him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Let me go!” You screamed. He only looked at you in confusion as another sinister smile took place on his lips.

“Why would I do that, Teddy Bear?” He asked, allowing his thumb to create sweet and soft circles on your cheek.

“I don’t want you anymore Katsuki! I don’t want to be with you!” Bakugou merely raised a brow at your words and continued to listen. “You burned me-“

*SMACK*

You looked at the man in front of you with fear and shock written on your face. Your cheek stung as your face now turned to the side but Bakugou quickly changed that by taking you by your chin to make you face him and wrapped a hand around your neck, chocking you. You gasped for air as Bakugou’s smirk became replaced with a frown and his brows became pointed.

“How dare you?! You’re asking what’s wrong with me but what the hell is wrong with you?! You left me, for months, Y/N. I was heartbroken. I was basically dead with you gone. I did you a fucking favor bringing you back. If I was so fucked, I can only imagine how horrible you must’ve been feeling. You’re lucky I came and save you. Saved us. And now, we can be happy again.” He explained.

“K-...Katsuki-..p-please!” You forced out, trying to beg for air.

“SHUT UP! I saved you, Y/N. So don’t even try to mention the little accident that happened so long ago, baby. Now you can forgive me. And don’t worry..I’m ready to listen to all the apologies you surely have for me...even if I have to choke them out of you.” He seethed with his hand tightening. Your eyes began to pop as the blood flow began to fill your face. Your eyes turned red as you struggled for air.

“I-...I-I’m..K-Katsuki! ...I’m sorry!” You shouted as best as you could. Luckily for you, the second you did, Bakugou’s hand lost its grip and simply rested on your neck. You choked and coughed as you relished in the sweet taste of oxygen. He smiled and leaned down to give your lips a sweet peck to shut you up and tapped your cheek before he walked to the door. Before leaving, he turned around to look at you and give you your official welcome back.

“I’m glad you’re home, baby. Can’t believe you really tried leaving. You’re mine, Y/N. And you always will be....don’t forget it.”

He slammed the door shut, walking away from the room with a smile. And you?

You cried.

A/N: Back by popular demand, we have part 2 to “What Have I Done.” How was it? In my opinion the beginning SUCKED! But I promise it’ll get better! The story will focus on Y/N and Bakugou’s new lives now so stay tuned and I hope you guys enjoyed it!

Tag list: @captainchrisstan @jazzylove @bakugous-trauma @konohahoee @whatdidshesayyy @chibiiichann @lover-of-helios @unicornlover25 @tamakisropebunny @iliketobullydeku @peacchfuz @fairybnha3 @ebiharachan @levimeko @5sos-wdw @naluciosa @anime-weeb-bnha @bakucumsackslut @asteria-obey-me

[tarysande]

Oh no, I've been thinking.

Okay, I can't stop thinking about something ending-related. I don't know this for certain, but based on previous statements and such, it feels like the writers were always aiming for a bittersweet ending. Like, no matter what else happened or how the story evolved, come hell (lol) or high water, that ending couldn't just be happy. For reasons. I guess.

Now, I don't mind a bittersweet ending ... if it makes sense for the ending to be bittersweet.

I critique stories for a living. I'm literally taking a break from the developmental edit of someone's novel to write this post. And the persistent thought that bugs me about the Rory setup is that it is so artificial. Time travel is a pain in the narrative ass. Time travel suddenly introduced in the sixth season of a show that has never touched on time travel? As an editor, I probably would've pointed out that time travel for the purpose of angst, especially time travel without rules that make sense ("I don't know anything about time travel! Except I do know you have to take the most painful path!"), seemingly introduced as a final ploy to make that bittersweet ending work ... well, to me, it breaks the narrative contract they established with the audience. Your audience is going to be confused. An editor's job is to alert the writer to any potential confusion so it can be fixed before the story goes to print, etc. Confused audiences get mad, annoyed, frustrated. They feel hurt. They put down the book and don't pick it up again. Usually, writers don't want that. But they're so close to their work that they need a completely outside perspective to say, "Hey, I'm not sure you realize this, but..."

I mean, I keep referring to Rory as "deus ex daughter" because in literary terms, she is a blatant deus ex machina. Rory is the god in the machine of the Bittersweet Ending.

Now, I loved a lot of S6. I did. My overall feeling about the season is not negative. But ... I can't stop thinking about why the things I didn't like REALLY didn't work for me.

I loved the emotional growth we saw in Lucifer and Chloe facilitated by the question of parenting and parental love. I did. And I would have loved to see a lot of those notes hit not with an angel kid out of nowhere ... but with the daughter already in the picture. Especially because it would have circumvented the icky idea that a child has to be one's flesh and blood to induce such feelings. I also understand that coronavirus and Scarlett's age and schedule made this difficult. But I just can't swallow that the only way to wrap up the story of this show--a show about found family, non-traditional family, friendship, connection, FREE WILL, love in all its many shapes and forms and colors ... was to introduce a brand new character via a device (time travel) that fails to make sense almost every time it's used, no matter the medium. (And then had only that brand new character be there when her mother died. Don't even get me started. Ugh.)

If time travel was always going to be on the table, couldn't we have found a more plausible way to use it with the characters we already knew, loved, and had spent four or five seasons with? A time-travelling older Trixie, say? If you're going to use the impossible device, just ... twist it another way to make it work.

Okay. Okay. So, leaving Trixie aside for now just like the show did, let's say we leave everything about the season the same, even Rory. Do you know what ending makes more narrative sense?

Future Rory sacrificing herself by NOT forcing Lucifer to make a cruel and impossible "choice" so the baby that might have been her grows up with a family that loves her. Chloe's already pregnant. That's not going to be undone. And this nonsense of a "closed time loop" falls apart if you side-eye it for even a few seconds. The Rory who came from the future never exists except in the memories of those she met when she came back from that future. Chloe and Lucifer lose that daughter even as they gain the new one whose existence is not a tool of unrelenting fate because wow this show has always been about free will what the heck happened there yikes. And a choice made under the duress Chloe and Lucifer were under, forced out of them, and forcing them to "choose" a life apart for *handwave* Reasons has nothing to do with free will. A "choice" made at gunpoint is not a real choice. Future Rory basically bullied them into ensuring she got to exist--something, quite frankly, neither her parents would have done.

Instead, how much more appropriately bittersweet is it if Chloe and Lucifer lose that child while gaining one who, because of that angry time-travelling version, will never suffer as she did.

Also as an editor: the groundwork for my version is already laid, by the way. It should have been Rory learning about the importance of free will over fate. The importance of personal sacrifice. The importance of not thinking your young self knows best ... because experience and therapy will help rid you of that self-centered world view. That's the contract the writers made with us with this show. And Chloe and Lucifer have already BEEN THERE AND DONE THAT. (See: the end of S4.)

Furthermore, this season finally HAD Chloe and Lucifer DEAL WITH the only thing that actually would have contributed to a narrative, characterization-based reason for Lucifer to disappear: His history of running and his putting Chloe on a pedestal. Once they really talked that out, his "disappearance" became a Rory-induced trauma of inexplicable fate that flies in the face of all the progress Lucifer made over six seasons. (I would rather have had more of that and less of mysterious disappearing oh no plot.)

And I'm sorry, the "Once you get to Hell you're going to work 24/7" excuse given for why Lucifer won't be around and why he can't make time for Chloe until she's DEAD(????!???) is ... it's lame. If AMENADIEL AS GOD can make time for his kid's birthday party, I refuse to believe Lucifer can't work out some Hell/Earth-work/life balance. Never mind that in the show about partnerships, the Bittersweet Ending just ... destroyed it. Chloe was planning on being God's consultant; she could have helped Lucifer solve Hell's Trauma Mysteries (it's what she did with Jimmy, setting up that yeah, Lucifer could do it alone like he accidentally did with Lee, but doing it with HIS TRUTHSEEKING PARTNER would be more effective). Just as Lucifer could have continued helping HER solve some of the problems within "that corrupt little organization" of hers.

tl;dr: I think the writers fixated so completely on their version of Bittersweet that they missed all the foreshadowing, groundwork, and clues that were right there, already built into the story, poised for a different kind of ending than the one they once imagined. That's why so many parts of it feel almost-but-not-quite right and why these aspects are so off-putting. That's why it's just not ... organic. It's something squeezed into a box it grew out of ages ago.

Ironically, certain elements of this season involved the writers insisting on the FATE they decided long ago instead of letting the story and the characters have the FREE WILL to choose a different, more fitting, more organic ending--one that had long-since evolved past that original flavor of Bittersweet.

[crystalcow]

𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑//𝑆𝑎𝑝𝑛𝑎𝑝 𝑝𝑡 3

Masterlist // part one // part two

Sapnap x reader !p !child reader

Pronouns used: none specified!

Warnings: swearing, death, betrayal

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╔.▪️.═════════╗

Being sapnaps child will include..

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𝐏𝗼𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐥

Apparently the castle got attacked

George was killed by the one and only technoblade

You haven’t personally met the man but you respected him

After all he is a legend

But he killed George

So you were dragged with sapnap when he got pinged on his coms

Dream and George were arguing on the prime path

The sight somewhat terrified you

They were supposed to be best friends?

Dream is the strongest person on the server

George was supposed to be the most unproblematic and protected person

For some reason Quackity was also there

Hiding in the corner of Tommy’s house

“You don’t give a shit about us”

Those words brought some hurt to you as they left sapnaps mouth

“Of course I care about you! I just want to keep him safe.”

The three most important men in your life

The dream team, and ultimate trio the friendship that could never crack! The ones who raised you to be who you are

They were falling apart

“George is no longer king!”

Quackity was just eating all of the drama

Damn duck

“I’ve done so much for you, I hope you don’t forget.”

“Like what?” “I helped you raise a child Sap, a damn child.”

That pissed the both of you off

As if you didn’t just recently spend a whole day with him

None the less your whole life

Being drawn into wars, multiple actually

Practically being drawn to death

“Don’t you bring them into this Dream.”

“Eret is now king again, he can actually rule this place.”

“I was the best king this server ever had!”

So there it happened

The crown was snatched off of George’s head and you were dragged along with it

“Don’t worry, we can start our own place!”

“El rapids it is”

𝐄𝐥 𝐑𝐚𝐩𝐢𝐝𝐬

You were 100% skeptical about all of this

You didn’t trust that this would be good

I mean how could you

Everything that someone starts on the server

Dies, explodes, nukes, or straight up fails

So instead you went down to Lmanburg for the day!

You went to Nikkis bakery to get something to eat

She was glad to give you a couple snacks for the road

So while you were walking around the new area you spotted dream

“Where you heading off to?”

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You both eyed each other weirdly

“Aren’t you supposed to hate me?”

You just laughed

Ofcourse you were upset

But you were also bored

“And?” “Come on let’s go see tommy”

So you agreed and carelessly followed the green man

You missed Tommy, after not having seen him for a bit

Fucking hell you needed friends

But when you got there

“Why the fuck is everything gone!”

You ran around the now blown up area

The tents were destroyed and signs were thrown around

Then you noticed the large pillar

You instantly ran to dream, begging him to give you a pearl

He was upset himself he lost his leech

So you threw the pearl up thankfully landing on the pillar

Looking around to see if there was any way he could’ve survived

But you accidentally tripped

And lost your first life

𝐘/𝐧 𝐡𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝗼𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝗼𝗼 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝 ♡︎♥︎♥︎

𝐏𝐫𝗼𝐩𝗼𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐬

You woke up screaming in your bed

The three lines on your wrist now faded into two

Sapnap came rushing in holding you lose to him

You tried not to but you cried a little

This was your first time loosing a life..

And you didn’t even mean too!

“Your never fucking leaving me again.”

Karl came in with Quackity following after

Karl just like snatched you away from sapnap and just held you

That man was ready to go back in time and reverse that from ever happening

Trust me he will if you ever loose another life

So after that everyone kept a close eye on you

That was until one day you were with your dad

You both were at your old house just chilling around

Before he handed you two velvet boxes

You were in awe of the two rings that sat in them

Who the fuck paid for these??

“I’m going to purpose.”

You almost dropped the boxes

“What?”

Sapnap just kept smiling

“You really like em huh” “Yeah flame, I love them.”

So you just hugged him

Internally freaking the fuck out

What would this mean???

Three dads? What if they wanted another child! Oh hell no

So you all stood in el rapids

Candles were spread around the top of the grassy hill

There were flowers blooming from every direction and lanterns set afloat

It looked mystical

You watched as sapnap got down on one knee

Karl was in shock, tears streaming down his eyes

Quackity looked love struck, looking into sapnaps eyes with total adoration

So when they said yes your dad called you and the other two just hugged you

“I’m guessing they said yes” you laughed

“Yeah they did!”

You couldn’t help but be happy

Your dad finally found some happiness

Even tho life was going to shit

If you won’t be there

He’ll have them

𝐋𝗺𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐠𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐞𝗺

Oh wait shit did someone spot tommy?

There was supposed to be a festival today

So you went to go check it out

Maybe throw a ball at the furry

“Go fetch!” You shouted at fundy

Yeah he was not happy and just threw you the finger

“Hey N/n is Dream coming?”

You were excited that Tubbo was actually talking to you again

“Huh? Oh yeah I think” “Great thanks”

And back to the disappointment

So you walked over to get a pretzel or some shit

And then heard everyone making a commotion

There he was, Dream walking in (angry) with full netherite armor

Damn dude respect some tradition

“Tommy blew up the fucking community house”

Did someone say tommy?

Oh you were ready to kill that bastard

Hell if Dream didn’t you most definitely will

So you followed everyone to the community house

Yeah you were ready to fucking cry

One of your homes, the place you’d always confide in since you were little

Where dream and George both helped raise you

Now blown to shreds

“What the fuck”

They were talking about Tubbo giving up the discs

Oh we are not going through that shit all over again

And this time the odds are most definitely not in your favor

Then tommy appeared half invisible

“YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD I THOUGHT YOU DIED YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT”

You litterly stabbed him, having to be held back by Quackity

“Alright hot shot, lets let them have their argument”

Tommy sent you an apologetic look already on the verge of tears

“Tubbo your not seriously considering this”

Then it hit everyone

“The discs were worth more then you ever were!”

Oh yeah we’re you already pissed off at tommy?

Yeah

And he just made it worse

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY TO TUBBO YOU SHIT HEAD”

Yeah you didn’t take pretending to be dead very lightly

Oh shit why was techno there

never mind, Lmanburg will be gone by tomorrow

No point killing tommy yet

Whos side were you on?

Neither. You litterly went into that battle feild and killed some shit

That was until multiple pieces of tnt landed ontop of your head

And that’s where you lost your second life

Shit

𝐘/𝐧 𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐰 𝐮𝐩 ♡︎♡︎♥︎ ⚠︎︎ᴏɴᴇ ʟɪғᴇ ʀᴇᴍᴀɪɴɪɴɢ

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐬𝗼𝐧

This time when you won’t up it didn’t feel as bad

But you still screamed

A rush of a heartburn and scars employed on your body

The second line now faded into one

Shit

You were only 16-17 and on one life??

Die young the better

You waited out in your bed until the end of the fight

Death alerts and messages drowning out your communicator

But you had no energy what so ever

Until it all went quiet

You tried your damn best to get out of bed and walked to the damaged Lmanburg

There were people crying

Others were severely hurt

Then there were those who were perfectly fine

The whole place was a crater

Lmanburg.. the place of agony and depths of your pain

Now it’s finally gone

What the hell are you gonna do now?

Quackity spotted you calling out for Sapnap

You felt like you were gonna be crushed under their hold

“I’m gonna fucking kill dream.” You heard Quackity mutter

Sapnap felt like a bad father

Who lets their kids die twice?

(Cough cough Wilbur and dream)

Then suddenly things switched around

You were walking around with a bloodied nose and black eyed Tommy

Yeah you did a number on him

But it’s okay since he was your best friend

And there was a sign inside his house

“Wednesday you and Tubbo. Bring no one or anything, lets settle this once and for all”

The final disc war

“Tommy you can’t go” “I’m going N/n, he has my discs.”

So you like cried a little bit lined up on the prime path

Giving the two probably the last hugs they’ll ever get

Prime you really didn’t want to loose them

So you ran straight to church prime

Litterly begging Master Oolong that they won’t die

“Please please please spare them. Pogchamp.”

(Please this is all jokes and old references don’t cancel me)

You got a blast message from punz on your comms with cords

“Come here. bring your best armor”

So you did so running to the nearest ender chest

If walking means saving tommy and Tubbo, it’s somewhat worth it

Sapnap made sure you didn’t leave his side as you traveled around the nether

even tho you could literally swim in the lava

So just to piss him off

You jumped in

The sigh of relief this man

Yeah he’s gotten a little more paranoid for you

But it’s okay since it’s in love

You looked around the weird black stone room

There were two giant photos of the discs

And everything was made out of the same material

No design what so ever

Tommy and Tubbo ran to you like you were gonna protect them

“Dream why” you asked as he was incased in the blocks

Down on his last life

Just like you

‘I’m sorry’ he mouthed to you

Why was he apologizing to you?

Hasn’t he hurt everyone here

You looked around the different items

Tracing the outline of the item frames

Gasping in shock as you a cage with your name on it next to badboyhalo

“Tell em what you told me! How you blew up the community house!”

Your neck spun around faster then an owl doing that 360 thing

You picked up your ace seriously read to slash his head off

“Wait wait! Lets put him in the prison.”

So they took him off

And it pained you to see it

You trusted that man for a very long time

Nothing stays the same on the Dream Smp

•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰•⊱✿•✿⊰

TUMBLR WOULDNT LET ME WRITE MORE KMS. So yes I’m sorry but there will have to be a part FOUR. I just wanted to finish this-

As always! Ask or request anything and ask if you want to be on a tag list :))

[bee-not-afraid]

im bored so here’s a writeup on yakuza game antagonists who Die and how I feel their death fits with the character, narrative, and overarching themes

Nishiki (y1) - I believe Nishiki is the only one on this list who actually wanted to die. By the end of y1, he has nothing - his sister is long dead, he’s forcibly pushed away Kiryu (and Yumi to an extent), he’s caused the death of his father figure and the woman that loved him, Kashiwagi had long ago abandoned him - every single social connection and support that Nishiki had in y0 has been systematically destroyed, largely by his own hand. It doesn’t start by his own hand - he obviously never meant to lose his sister, and I don’t think he really wanted Kashiwagi and Kazama against him. But after it happened anyway, he basically goes full fuck it and torpedoes every other relationship he has, deciding that power is the only thing worth living for now. But this lust for power isn’t new. Nishiki had always wanted to advance, climb the ranks, and become someone important - he just wanted to do it (at least partly) for the sake of others, or with the help of others. The only thing that truly changes (besides the murder) is that he resolves to gain power by himself, and only for himself. What also isn’t new is his pride. This is also an established fact about him in y0, it’s just again a bit more softened and able to be tempered by his loved ones. What does this mean in terms of his death? It means that, at the time Nishiki stands next to the bomb in the Millennium Tower, he has no one supporting him and nothing left to his name except his own pride. He sees the damage he’s done, and he regrets(?) it, but I don’t think he wants redemption. He knows Kiryu would accept him with open arms, he knows he could potentially go serve his time, or find some of other way to atone - but then he’s only stuck in Kiryu’s shadow again. His pride prevents him from accepting this outcome, so he chooses death. Of course I want him to live anyway, because I like Nishiki, but his death felt appropriate to his character. It also matches the overall tone of y1, because holy fuck a lot of people die in that game. And all that death also helps set up Kiryu for the next game, because half of what he does in y2 only makes sense if he’s actively depressed and suicidal as fuck.

Ryuji (y2) - Ryuji’s death is mostly pointless but kinda funny, which also sums up y2 as a whole. He probably could’ve lived if he and Kiryu had simply left Kamurocho Hills instead of staying to duke it out, but they have to fight because, uh, dragons are territorial? I guess? This is where “half of what Kiryu does in y2 only makes sense if he’s actively depressed and suicidal as fuck” comes into play. So there’s Kiryu’s motivation, but what’s Ryuji’s? You would think, given that he’s just discovered he really does have a family that cares about him (y’know, the thing he’s been secretly yearning for all this time) he would abandon or at least postpone the “only one dragon” nonsense in favor of getting to know his sister, but you’d be wrong, apparently! This could also be a case of pride getting in the way and forcing him to “see things through,” but we see so little of Ryuji, and most of the complexity of his character is shoved into the finale, so it’s hard to judge. So he dies because it’s a good way to finish off the “so absurd it’s hilarious” thing y2 has going on, and because a real man oughtta be a little stupid. Boy, it’s a good thing Dead Souls is canon.

Mine (y3) - Mine. Here is the point where I went “oh this series just has this problem I see.” This is the first major villain death that left me like “????? why tho?” But! I can see why Mine might choose death from a character standpoint (from a narrative standpoint it’s still stupid). For this one we have to delve into the Minedai relationship, so sorry if that’s not your speed. Mine’s motivation, as it is revealed in the finale, is simply to have a meaningful connection with someone. He gets this in the form of Daigo, and by all accounts he’s happy with it and he's genuinely loyal and well-meaning as far as Daigo is concerned. But I think there must be a part of him, somewhere in a back corner or his mind, that’s telling him this can’t last. He went his whole life without it, and then he suddenly got it, and it was everything he wanted, but he was also scared. Change, even when we want it and actively seek it out, is still scary, and I think part of Mine was always scared that he would lose Daigo somehow, and was preparing for that eventuality. (I do this too lol so maybe this is just projection) So then when something does happen to Daigo, Mine immediately jumps to “I was right, this couldn’t last” and just as quickly turns on the Tojo clan and everything Daigo was trying to achieve. Because he’d been so prepared to lose Daigo, he jumps at the first little setback and takes it as a sign that everything is over. (Mine is a bit emotionally stunted due to never having friends or other meaningful relationships, and he seems a little prone to catastrophizing as well.) Of course this is a major overreaction and Daigo wakes up a few days later. Mine then realizes he’s had a massive overreaction, and that he’s left a huge fucking mess for Daigo, and kills himself out of an overwhelming sense of shame and a twisted but genuine desire to make some things up to Daigo. So I think Mine’s death can be justified well enough from a character perspective, but as I said earlier it’s still a stupid narrative decision. Unlike Nishiki, this isn’t a fatal flaw. And unlike Ryuji, it isn’t funny. So what’s the message here? Redemption is only through death? Emotionally stunted men can’t have relationships? Therapy is bad, just jump off the roof? I fully believe Mine would have been fine if Daigo just took him to all his court-mandated therapy sessions. But I guess that’s too messy for RGGS!

Munakata (y4) - Kills himself to escape the consequences of his actions. Typical cop. Whatever.

DD (dead souls) - haha get fucked

Masato (y7/ylad) - THE most unfitting and blatantly insulting death in the entire series. All the parallels to Nishiki are there: the killing or pushing away of the loved ones, the pursuit of power for it’s own sake, the inferiority complex. But Ichiban is not Kiryu. Ichiban understands the importance of a support network and gathers friends rather than push them away. Ichiban will do anything to help his brother, and places this concern above all others. And Masato is not Nishiki. He lacks the vicious pride. Masato is ready to beg and grovel for forgiveness, to take the hand that reaches out for him, to live in a shadow. And then he fucking dies anyway!!!!!! WHAT is the point of the parallel if the outcome is the fucking same!!!!!!!!!! RGG had a good run of antagonists not dying - y5, ishin, y0, y6 - and then they pull this shit????? Have you learned nothing, RGGS??????? No, fuck a thematically appropriate ending! Redemption is only through death and therapy is bad, so just jump off that roof kids!

Final Definitive Ranking (most to least fitting death)

1. DD (lol) 2. Munakata 3. Nishiki 4. Ryuji 5. Mine 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. Masato

[bored-storyteller]

Hey! I really like how you write about Sally Face, I love how you highlight his kindness but also his strength. It struck me a lot how he wonders if anyone will ever love him, I guess it's hard for him to believe in someone's love for him, from a romantic point of view. I thought ... could you write something about a reader in love with him, who gets rejected for that reason but still loves him until Sal dies? You don't have to do it (also because you prefer angst / comfort right?), But I try to ask you ... I'd like to see it written by you. It will hurt but it will be worth it.

Dear Anon,

I hope you like this because I suffered the pain of hell writing this :3

But jokes aside, I hope it does justice to your expectations, I hope I have treated everything with the right delicacy.

Warning: ANGST and SPOILER (I say this for safety)

The story is set in the canonical plot, even if there may be slight differences (after all there is always one more character, you). But for those who haven't played Sally Face this could be revealing.

77- Sally Face, Sal Fisher x reader (Angst)

“The sunflower that cannot bloom “

"I love you."

Those words had slipped off your lips with one of the most beautiful smiles Sal had ever seen.

You weren't perfect, but you were tailor-made for him. Somehow, he had thought that from the first day he met you, by mistake, on a black day. You had offered him a sunflower, a huge yellow flower that shone like the sun in the midst of his misfortunes, and his black day had grown better.

This was you, what he needed when the weight was too much to carry, when he found himself snorting one too many times, when he felt like crying.

Still, even though you were tailor-made for him, he wasn't tailor-made for you.

He would have liked to believe you, with all his heart, he would have asked for nothing more than to be loved by you.

But he couldn't believe it.

"No, you don't ..." His voice was gentle, as if he were explaining something important to a little child.

Your brows had furrowed as you pointed your gaze into the depths of his soul.

"You do not believe me?" Your tone wandered between uncertainty and offense "Do you think I'm lying to you?"

A sigh rang through the empty hollows of his mask: “No, you're not lying to me. I just think you… don't really know what you're saying. "

Your expression deepened as you prepared to argue back. He had seen the wound open inside you and he had looked away; he couldn't watch you while he hurt you.

Oh, he was so good at making himself loved. The river of emotions that had overwhelmed you had died out as soon as his one living eye was separated from you.

Disappointment, anger, sadness had disappeared in favor of affection for him.

His mask was flat, helpless, cold towards his heart, yet he communicated more than anyone else with that immense little soul of him.

"Sal ..." finally you called him gently, reassuring, while your fingers lovingly brushed the cheek of the cold prosthesis.

"I love you." You repeated it, and he turned to tell you to stop. He couldn't be loved, he didn't feel capable of being loved.

He would never have a love like that of movies, or even like that of normal people, like Maple and Chug. He, as he was, could never have been loved, not even by you.

He was going to tell you, to tell you everything, but you stopped him softly: "but it's okay if you don't want to."

You barely laughed, as if everything was really okay with you, and you leaned on his shoulder, cuddling against his neck.

"I have my whole life to make you understand." You said cheerfully, and he just looked at you, accepting that little stubbornness of yours.

Even though he was aware that one day he would see you happy in the arms of someone you really would love, for the time being it was okay for him to bask in that little illusion you were giving him.

---

Life had been cruel.

"I had no choice."

Those words had pierced your brain.

The first time he had told you with a force that you almost confused with anger. His body had never been so rigid in front of you, motionless, sitting on the other side of the table in the visiting room of the prison, surrounded by other inmates like him.

You wondered if you were sane, because you looked into the eyes of a murderer, a killer who had exterminated families, who had even killed a little girl, yet your tears were for them, but also for him.

Whatever it was, Sal hadn't changed, and behind his mask he was more broken into pieces than you were. He hadn't had a choice, for some reason he hadn't had a choice.

It was weird and unreal, but you had no doubts about him, even though your mind still couldn't believe what happened, and Sal probably didn't really realize it either.

However, the second time he told you "I had no choice" his voice was different. He was different, and so were you. You had grown up, but both of you had stood still in what had happened. At that moment he was telling you so that you believed him, so that you knew it was not what he wanted, because if he could have chosen at that moment you would have been together in front of a pizza, telling you how boring the day had been.

"I beg you ..." You whispered so as not to let him hear how broken your voice was "... tell me what I have to do to save you."

It was the first time you used that word, out of pure desperation.

For a moment he hesitated and hoped you wouldn't see his uncertainty behind the mask. Finally, Sal shook his head in silence; he didn't know if it would do any good, but at least he would try to protect you.

Your hand was holding his for the first time in years, and you both knew it would be the last time you would hold it. You had done everything to be able to have that last contact, to still be able to hold him before they took him away from you forever.

You didn't want to cry, you wouldn't have done it on your last time together, but your heart was so heavy that you thought you would die as soon as you separated.

While you massaged the back of his hand with your thumb, you tried to record every detail in your mind that belonged to him, to burn the heat of his palm against yours, to remember the exact weight of his touch.

I love you, you wanted to tell him, you never stopped doing it, not a second you stopped giving him your best side, and you would have given it only to him also in the future.

"You are so important to me, Sal ..." your blue sky under which sunflowers bloom.

"Thank you ... for always being with me."

Part of you died when you let go of his hand that day.

---

Until the last you hoped that something would happen. A ghost that suddenly appears, an angel, a new discovery ... anything, as long as he was kept away from that electric chair.

When your phone rang, you were deluded for a moment.

"Hey…"

"Sal?"

"They ... allowed me to call whoever I wanted ..."

Your heart fell on hearing his voice. It was his last day, his last day in your own world, that was his farewell to you.

"Sal, I-" Your words broke into a sob you couldn't hold back "I'm with you, I'll always be with you."

Silence invaded the line between the two of you as you tried not to give him your tears as your last caress.

"I know it." He was holding back the crying, you could hear it "And I'll always be with you too, know that."

You were tailor-made for him, and his heart would remain for you, even if you moved on, you would love someone worthy sooner or later, or at least he hoped you would, that the demon would not devour your future. .

"Bring me some sunflowers if you can ... ok?" That request trembled "They always make me think of you."

You forced yourself to cover your mouth with your palm to stifle your agony: "I'll fill you with sunflowers."

Something told you that even if you couldn't see him, he was trying to smile: "It's a bit a cliché but ... be happy."

You would have preferred to have died in that very moment.

"Sal, wait!" You begged for him now, holding on to the phone like it was him, like you could hold him there.

He hesitated at the desperation of your voice.

"I can't ..." his voice was soft, light, like when he consoled you years ago, when all this seemed simply impossible.

“I beg you…” You didn't know who you were really praying for, but you weren't ready to hear his voice go out.

One more minute, one more touch, a hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry you had to put up with this." A sob from him too. “Please… fight for your happiness, okay? You deserve all the happiness in the world. "

"Sal ..."

The answer that followed was the only intermittent sound of the blank phone line.

It's over, you'll never be able to hear Sal's voice again. You won't be able to talk to him anymore.

And he never believed you loved him.

---

How could you ever be happy?

His mask still looks at you as it always did, but behind the empty gaze there are nothing but blades of grass growing above his burial.

How could they bury him without his mask? He will feel uncomfortable.

Now you don't have to be strong for him anymore, you can collapse, break, destroy yourself, scream like you've never screamed, ask him to come back, because you need him.

Your fingers caress the cold, hard cheeks of his prosthesis as they always did, as if he were still behind it. Next to it, the sunflower he asked you for, like the one you gave him the first time you saw him.

"I love you Sally face ..." your words now go to the wind, they cannot be refused.

"I really love you."

---

Where you don't know, where you are not, a guy who has the weight of the world on his shoulders thinks about how much he could never be loved as people love each other in movies, or how people love each other in the world. But suddenly, like a ray of light, in the darkness he is facing, the yellow of a sunflower blooms. It's just a thought, but for a moment it's warm, and sweet, and it carries your voice with it.

You exist only within him, but you give him the love he needs, the one he didn't believe in, but which instead exists.

It is a tormented love, which suffers, but still welcomes him and wraps him as your arms did.

You are not there, you are far away, unreachable.

But he feels it, you're still there with him

[doctorofmagic]

My thoughts on What If... Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The very title of the episode sends a shiver down my spine. And this is where we’re going to start.

~ long post under the cut ~

A year ago, I wrote this post as an attemp to dive into one of the most important traits in Doctor Strange’s personality: love. Stephen is a being made of love, made to love, no matter which interpretation you have when you watch Infinity War. If you don’t read comic books, you’ll understand the moment you meet Donna. You’ll begin to understand how her death reshaped his entire subjectivity out of fear of failing, being powerless and unable to control everything around him (especially death), thus the arrogant and yet a disaster of a man we all know.

Where do I even start? Stephen loved her sister deeply and felt responsible for her death. And then, slowly, he also lost his parents and his brother. He fell in love with Clea but he also pushed her away. He loved Zelma platonically and lied to her, which was enough for them to break their bond. He felt attracted to Kanna but screwed things up, even though they remain friends. He was forced to kill the Ancient One, the only father figure he had ever since his father died. And lastly, the only person who would never leave his side... also left. Yes, even Wong. Stephen has SO much love to give but he’s also afraid because he’s cursed. He truly believes his love in poison. And would you look at that? What If really delivered a story where this is actually true.

What If Doctor Strange Lost His Heart Instead of His Hands?

The level of understanding when it comes to the character is... inconceivable. What could possibly reshape Stephen into following a dark path but love? The very premise of the whole episode. This is so much more than a love letter. This is literally too much, in all senses.

Fine, let’s begin.

What if the best of intentions has very strange consequences?

No. You used the word “strange” for the pun but this is not the word. Nah-ah. I’d go with ATROCIOUS, for starters. Things are gonna escalate so quickly, my friends.

Seriously, tho? Christine is SO SO SO SO beautiful, they’re so cute together. I have this feeling that MCU!Stephen was quite toxic because of his arrogance and this is why they didn’t work out. But WhatIf!Stephen???????? He’s always praising her, teasing her in a healthy way, respecting her and listening to her. HE TRULY LOVES HER, I’M GONNA CRY ALL OVER AGAIN, PLEASE, NOT THE CRÈME BRÛLÉE, PLEASE

I’m going to leave this shot here because we need to go back to it later. Hold that thought.

And bonus points to “Yeah, well, I would call that quite remarkable.” / “Well, I would say the same about you.”

GODS. THE PAIN. STOP THE PAIN.

So in this reality, Stephen didn’t caused the car accident because he was checking his phone while driving. Also it was not the reckless attempt to pass the truck. Well, maybe it was the consequence of this act? The fact is, the car behind them loses control, which makes them crash. Does it matter? We’ll learn later that no, it doesn’t.

And yep... Christine dies. Have you noticed the shattered heart? Ah, the pain only gets better and better.

Again, Stephen blames himself. More than anything, this is so important because Stephen is all about guilt. We still need to meet Donna so we can add yet another layer of guilt. But the feeling exists. This is what corrupts Stephen’s heart and soul in all his iterations. This is what makes him the character I love so much. I love this SO. MUCH. In addition, his stubbornness to accept his condition. Man won’t take a no. This, this is Doctor Strange in character. Stop complaining about NWH Stephen, it’s pathetic.

Okay, “grief-stricken”, Stephen found the Mystic Arts and became a sorcerer. That’s when he learned about the Time Stone, the Eye of Agamotto and Dormammu. Nothing changes, he saves the universe. But time does not heal his deepest wound.

I love Wong so much. Every time Wong does something, the world is healed. Really. We’re going back to him as well but for now I’ll just leave this shot.

BUT STEPHEN, DOING SOMETHING RECKLESS? HE’D NEVAH

Aaaaaaaannnnnnd then he did.

He goes back in time. It’s been two years since he lost Christine. I think he reacted pretty nicely, despite the circumstances. Now let’s go back to that shot I said I was saving for later.

Stephen is so light-hearted here. Also, during the first time he lost Christine, he had no idea what “The Price is Right” was. He knows now, which means he probably tried to learn more about the show because of her, because of grief. HAHAHA MORE PAIN

AND THEN HE

AND THEN SHE DIES AGAIN

AND THEN HE KEEPS GOING BACK IN TIME

AND SHE KEEPS DYING

AND THE MUSIC

AND HIS VOICE

AND HE TRIES TO CHANGE FATE BUT IT CAN’T BE AVERTED

HE EVEN TRIES TO STAY AWAY FROM HER LIFE BUT SHE DIES ALL THE SAME, WHY

AND EVERY TIME THEY CRASH, HE FEELS THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL PAIN AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN, WHY

I’M-- *ugly sobbing noises*

Apparently, not.

And this scene when he simply... closes his eyes before she dies again...?

This is where this episode had me in endless tears. It got me the four times I watched it. I’m dead serious.

Okay, so, next the Ancient One appears to Stephen, explaining that Christine’s death is an Absolute Point in time. It cannot be changed. Stephen needs the accident to become the Sorcerer Supreme and defeat Dormammu.

And this is where Stephen starts his journey into darkness. “Nothing is impossible, you taught me that. I only require more power.” Disobeying the Ancient One, Stephen then travels in time, seeking the Library of Cagliostro. Now, if you’re not aware of that, Cagliostro was a sorcerer who studied time in comics, and later became Sise-Neg (there’s a recent post on this because of the new Defenders run). It’s funny to think that Sise-Neg also destroyed the world when he became a god, however he grew past his pettiness and remade reality. Stephen did not possess such power, as we’re about to see.

PS: “Stop torturing yourself, Stephen.” Naur but he should use this line like a mantra. Especially comics!Stephen.

Not gonna lie, tho. This place reminds me of the Temple of the Vishanti from T&T (of course I was going to insert T&T somewhere, it’s me).

And of course they’d go for a pun with his name haha. I don’t know how to feel about this, tho. I feel like the episode is too heavy and dark for comedy. But it is what it is.

Okay but why some books are in cages??????????? And wow, it seems Cagliostro also gathered knowledge about several fields of magic.

And then Stephen learns that, in order to break an Absolute Point, he needs to absorb more power. This is when I went “oh-oh, here we go”.

And for real, is this Shuma-Gorath? Why are they keeping his name a secret? Is this the same creature from the first episode with Captain Carter, right? RIGHT? It has to be Shuma-Gorath.

Of course he tries to be polite and ends up all hurt haha. O’Bengh warns him about love but he will not listen. “Love can break more than your heart. It can shatter your mind.”/ “Is she worth the pain?”. Please, this is Stephen. He eats pain for breakfast.

Also, also, let’s take a break. We’re finally going to get monsterf0cker tentacle-lover Stephen Strange. It will cost us everything but here we goooooooooooo (yes, I went frame by frame for your more obscure fanservice needs)

Gods, I love this sequence so much it hurts. Okay, here we go.

Shmebulock???????????

AND HE STOLE THE CAPE??????????? AND DREW THE LINE ON BUGS??????

The grasp this man is holding on me right now...

Some of you will understand. I’m with you.

And here are the grostesque ones. These are hard to take SS but I had to.

Animation, sound effects, OST? CHEF’S KISS TO ALL

And lastly... the tentacles. Yeah, if you’re new... this is a thing.

Fanservice. Fanservice everywhere. (low-key the reason I also waited to write this review, I wanted to enjoy this part so badly but I was too sad for that lmao)

Okay so. O’Bengh is suddenly OLD and DYING, until we realize that Stephen spent CENTURIES absorbing mystic beings. CENTURIES. WTF STEPHEN. He had nothing in mind but the goal to save Christine. And people wonder why he went insane???? I’m sorry, O’Bengh, but I can’t take you serious when you still call Stephen Sorcerer Armani. Oh, and also because you watched him absorb beings for centuries in silence lmao. But I guess I have to because you said that Stephen is split in two since the Ancient One cast a spell on him, splitting the timelines and making them exist in the same reality before he could travel back in time. I know, it’s complex. Anything for the plot.

And now good!Stephen has an evil!twin who wants to absorb him back in order to become whole and break the Absolute Point. Cool.

I said I wanted to talk more about Wong because I think people are not talking about him enough. Wong is so important in this episode. He’s the one who’s trying to heal Stephen after Christine. He’s Stephen’s anchor.

Also, THEY FINALLY USED A SPELL WITH THE NAME OF THE VISHANTI. HOORAAAAY

So, for the sake of our understanding, I’m addressing the characters as evil and good!Stephen. Let’s go. Evil!Stephen summons good!Stephen and gods, he still holds such a strong grasp on me... unbelievable. THE DEEPER VOICE BENEDICT USES???? PLEASE, DIDN’T WE HAVE ENOUGH?

Imagine his strength to hold so many beings inside him, fighting to control him. BRO, THIS IS TOO TOO MUCH

Fine, I’ll not post SS about the fight because I’d be here all night long but I WILL say this: NOT CLOAKIE!!!!! NAAAAAAAAAAUR

Also if you ask me if I recognize any of the spells? Maaaaybe the Flames of Faltine, the not-so-crimson Bands of Cyttorak and a little trick Magik does with her portals. That’s how far I go.

I’ll not comment on the “seducing yourself to stay in the trap”. I will not. I’ll just say that the first person Stephen thought of when “Christine” was talking about the crème brûlée was Wong. That’s it.

And finally evil!Stephen absorbs good!Stephen and releases... UNLIMITED POWER (I love when the stone goes red as if it was bleeding aaaaaaa)

I can fix him...

This scene here? Poetic cinema. (I love his wings so much)

And when Stephen says her name and the other monsters’ voices echo “Christine”, AAAAAACKKKK

AND OF COURSE CHRISTINE WOULD FREAK OUT, BRO. LOOK AT WHAT YOU’VE BECOME BECAUSE OF YOUR TWISTED LOVE. I’M NOT DOING FINE.

Oh, but it’s too late anyways because Stephen broke reality haha. This scene is interesting because Stephen is the only one who sensed and/or talked to the Watcher until now. I read an interview that the Watcher kinda showed up but it’s also about Stephen’s keen senses. Bit of both, let’s say. Still, man, 616-Watcher is not that cold. 616-Watcher would watch this and say “how about I intervene anyway?”. WhatIf!Watcher is brutal.

The way Christine looks at Stephen one last time also KILLS ME, DESTROYS ME, BREAK ME INTO A MILLION PIECES.

And this is where my soul left my body.

This is how they end the episode. This is how you leave me speechless and with teary eyes. This is how you give me a whole existential crisis.

This... this was brutal to watch. Really.

What can I say after this? I’m used to reading painful things when it comes to Stephen. Aaron’s and Cates’ runs are heartbreaking on so many levels. Hickman’s New Avengers is not easier. Coincidentally, What If? Magik Became Sorcerer Supreme and The End. And now Death of Doctor Strange. And yet, after everything I’ve been through, I’d never expect to watch something so brilliant, so tragic, so heartbreaking and unexpected in the MCU. Never. This is top tier content and this is my favorite character with SO MANY LAYERS and SO MUCH UNDERSTANDING. I can’t put into words how meaningful this whole episode is to me, or how deep it touched my heart and soul.

I’ve been struggling to find the proper words since then, I still can’t. All I can add is, I cried for the 4th time now. This is too, too much, even for Stephen stans. Even for the ones who are used to pain, regardless of which media you’re into: comic books, live actions or animated movies. This is literally more than I can take and yet I’m so, so grateful. The voice acting, gods, how did Benedict manage to create a better Stephen than the one he’s literally playing in real life???????????? HOW

This episode really took the max potential Stephen had to offer as a character, added tons and tons of layers based on his grief, depression, arrogance and need to control everything and created a tragic masterpiece. In 7 years of being a Doctor Strange fan, I've never read or watch something that could go this deep into the character. The closest I can think of is Mr. Misery and the metaphor of Stephen's depression. This is a whole new level of respect and understanding. This is more than a love letter. This is peak maestry. It’s perfect, it’s heartbreaking, it’s... gods, I can’t.

Sorry for dragging you until this far. Before I wrap up this review, I just wanted to remind you all that Stephen will appear again, he will smile again, he will be surrounded by people again. So this is not the end. It was painful but be brave. We still have a few more steps to take.

[bylightofdawn]

I finished ME3 and whelp that end game was a fucking SLOG. OH MY GOD. It never ended. I ended up going with Control because I am a weak-willed paragon player at the end of the day. I will probably reload my save if I can and experiment with Destroy tomorrow though. Even though I did a shit ton of side-missions I guess my military assets still weren’t enough. I blame the fact I didn’t know the Reapors would breed like fucking lice and I prolly should have spent the first day just scanning for as much materials as I could because I did 95% of the side-missions that didn’t require scanning and I was only like 6000+

Fuck. My. Life.

Okay so my hot takes are as follows: I still love Shepard/Garrus. I was very heartbroken to break Kaidan’s heart by picking the sexy velociraptor over him.

Also, Garrus never gave me shit for picking up with Cerberus and I get why people dislike Kaidan. I still think his pluses outweigh the minuses and I am thinking of doing a m!Shep only trilogy playthrough where I romance him cause fuck I love war buddies falling in love and watching a friendship shift into something more trope. -cough cough- I’m looking at you Cortez and Vega. -cough cough-

Garrus also kinda reads as ver young and emotionally immature in a lot of ways. Like Shepard was definitely the first serious relationship he ever had. Fucks sake, this man’s idea of a date was to go and shoot things on top of the Citadel. And he cannot be smooth to save his poor Turian life. 

But that’s part of his charm, if I’m being honest. However compare that to the heartbreaking and emotionally vulnerable moments Shepard and Kaidan have, you can definitely tell the developers were more invested in that romance.

I ABJECTLY REFUSE to acknowledge they did my bae Kal’Reegar like they did and fucking offed him in a fucking email. N O P E. Sorry, rumors of his death are greatly exaggerated and he will drag his wounded ass home and surprise Tali by being alive. I will accept no other canon.

I fucking ship the hell out of Liara and Javik even though Javik is a super not-cool colonizer/ at times outright misogynist and I don’t know how I feel about this. It makes me uncomfortable but I guess that’s why you have problematic faves. So long as you are willing to acknowledge and accept that the shit they pull isn’t kosher and don’t try and defend it then it’s up for you to find that balance of on your morality scale.

But yeah even Citadel DLC hinted at that being a thing and yeah I ship it.

I don’t mind Garrus/Tali as much as I thought I was when going into ME3 and I know I kinda rudely labeled it as pair the spares but the more I think about it, the more I can see it. I mean, they have been with Shepard for years and I can totally see them building a bond. I would also be completely down for a Garrus/Tali slow-burn where Shepard/Garrus was a thing and now Garrus needs to find a way to conduct his life in a world without her being the pendulum on which his orbit revolves.

And I feel like Tali and Kaidan/Liara to a lesser extent are the people who would understand what it’s like trying to live in a world without her larger-than-life presence. I am also 1000% open to the idea of Garrus/Kaidan finding second chance love with one another with them grieving together over the loss of Shepard and HAVE in fact read some really awesome fanfics with that theme.

I’ve been reading SO MANY FANFICS during this playthrough and I have a shit ton of pairings, both crack and otherwise. I’m compiling a list of ME fanfic recs right now that I will gush about in ad nauseam later.

I got boned because I didn’t import from ME1 onwards so it felt like a personal attack and failing that Eve and Miranda died. I also didn’t have access to Kasumi or Zaheed which made me sad.

I just don’t think I’m up for sinking another 100+ hours into this series right this moment. I am debating buying Andromedea but the amount of bitching and whinging I’ve heard about it, I don’t know if it’s just fandom being a whiny titty baby because they ‘broke it’ or if it’s legitimate criticism.

I’m darkly amused that I am 2/2 in the talking at people long enough they would rather shoot themselves than listen to me pontificate any longer. First Saren and now the Illusive Man, Shepard really do be talking people quite literally to death with her care bear stares Paragon energy. 🤣 And yes I am dating myself horrifically with that reference.

I’m also debating picking up Dragon Age. I bought it on disk for PS3 I think but I’m not breaking that shit out to play a horrifically grainy near 20 year old title. Hopefully it has a remastered edition.

I’m glad I finally finished this series. I’ve legit been picking it up and putting it down for like 10 years at this point. Do I think it’s worth the hype everyone has given it? Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhh no? It’s serviceable and definitely a fun ride. I am super both confused and impressed with BioWare rehauling the gaming mechanics THREE DIFFERENT TIMES. Like, I respect the grind but why? I know everyone hated the Mako and none of use were sad to see it go but jeeze. I’m assuming there was a gaming engine difference between the three of them but still it’s not usual to have the gaming mechanics changed three different times and it gives it a bit of a haphazard vibe because of it.

I actually REALLY MISSED the hacking games in ME3. I suspect I’m prolly in the minority there but I would much rather have that fun code matching/icon matching memory style game over mashing buttons in ME1 or just having to sit there watching Shepard wave her hand around for 10 seconds while bypassing doors in ME3.

I hated only having access to three/eventually four weapons in ME2 but I liked it’s leveling up system the most. Class restricted weapons just didn’t do it for me. Being able to build your paragon/renegade level in ME1 is just weird and I’m glad they got away from that. I do feel like ME1 and ME3 were more similar in how they did their level scaling and I really liked being able to earn a special ability from one of your teammates if you invested enough time and effort into building a rapport with them. Whereas you could just buy it in ME2.

NGL I got Flare and didn’t look back at all. LMAO. What a stupidly OP ability. Banshee and Brutes? Eh toss some grenades and Flare at them and it ain’t a problem anymore.

There are other things but I think I’ve spazzed out long enough over this stupid video game trilogy.

[inkmemes]

futurama  (  1999  -  2013  )  sentence  starters  ↪  taken  from  the  animated  science  fiction  show.  alter  as  you  see  fit  ♡

“let's get the hell out of here already! screw history!”

“when you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all.”

“you have to use a light touch, like a safecracker or a pickpocket.”

 "stop! the spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised."

"she's stuck in an infinite loop and he's an idiot. that's love for you."

"all i know is my gut says maybe."

“i've never seen a super nova blow up. but if it's anything like my old chevy nova, it'll light up the night sky!”

"every christmas my mom would get a fresh goose, for goose-burgers, and my dad would whip up special eggnog out of bourbon and ice cubes."

"what do i look like, a guy who's not lazy?"

“is heaven missing an angel, cuz you've got nice cans!”

“help! a guinea pig tricked me!"

"[name], if i said you said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little."

"drugs are for weirdos and hypnosis is for weirdos with big eyebrows." 

"[name], it would never work between us. you're a man, and i'm a woman. we're just too different."

“screw you, ill have my own contest. with black jack ... and hookers. forget the contest.”

“ah, she's built like a steakhouse but she handles like a bistro.”

"spare me your space age techno babble, [name].”

"it's sort of a two person pyramid scheme."

"i don't want to live on this planet anymore."

"you were doing well, until everyone died."

“if we hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. checkmate.”

“i am the man with no name. [muse name], at your service.”

“in the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.”

"this is the worst kind of discrimination, the kind against me."

"you watched it... you can't unwatch it."

“valentine’s day is coming? aw crap! i forgot to get a girlfriend again!”

 "hold on to your dookie, it’s about to get spooky!"

"i'm tired of this room and everyone in it."

"i'm so embarrassed. i wish everyone else was dead."

"you can't just have your characters announce how they feel! that makes me feel angry!"

"i don't have emotions, and sometimes that makes me very sad."

"if, for any reason you're not satisfied, i hate you."

"that young man fills me with hope. plus some other emotions which are weird and deeply confusing." 

"i've dreamed about you a lot since you disappeared. what did you want to tell me?" 

"what do you think the meaning of life was anyway?"

“you're a pimple on society's ass and you'll never amount to anything!”

“life and death are a seamless continuum.”

“if anyone wants me, i'll be in the angry dome.”

“and the worst part is, i had to have the breakup sex by myself!”

“they said i was dumb, but i proved them.”

“what's the point of living if i can't say ass?”

“i'll be stuffing coal so far down your stocking you'll be coughing up diamonds!”

“we're all pawns in his diabolical game of checkers.”

"wait, i'm having one of those things, a headache, with pictures!"

“sorry, i didn't realize i was already here.”

"guess what you're an accessory to!"

"why does ross, the largest friend, not simply eat the other friends?"

“there's no scientific consensus that life is important.”

"we cooked our shoes in the dryer and ate them! now we're bored!"

“i'm just as important as him. it's just that, the kind of importance i have ... it doesn't matter if i don't do it.”

“oh what a foolish squid i’ve been.”

“my instinct is to hide in this barrel, like the wily fish.”

"that was bad, and you should feel bad!"

"technically correct - the best kind of correct!"

"and here is where i keep my assorted lengths of wire!"

"oh wait, you are serious! let me laugh even harder!"

"i gotta practice my stabbing!"

"that's the saltiest thing i've ever tasted! and i once ate a big, heaping bowl of salt!"

“i apologize for nothing!”

 "die young and leave a beautiful corpse! that's what i always say."

"here's to another lousy millennium."

“but i am already in my pajamas.”

“windmills do not work that way. goodnight.”

"you win again gravity."

"when push comes to shove, you got to do what you love, even if it's not a good idea.”

“but existing's basically all i do!”

“when will the killing end?"

"i'll be whatever i want to do."

"the use of words expressing something other than their literal intention. now that. is. irony."

"could you ask a little more sexfully?"

"hooray! i'm useful!"

"awesome. awesome to the max."

"some breaking occurred, the dolly was involved, that's about all we know."

“you want me to do two things?”

i love stealin', i love takin' things!

“i believe that qualifies as ill. at least from a technical standpoint.”

"that was the old me. he's dead now."

"jail ain't so bad; you can make sangria in the toilet. ‘course, it's shank or be shanked."

"one word. thundercougarfalconbird."

"of all my friends, you're the first."

“girls like swarms of lizards, right?”

“i lost it. in a volcano.”

"i'm gonna get you so many lizards!"

"who needs courage when you have a gun?"

“let's go! i've got jelly in my underpants!”

"interesting if true."

“i did do the nasty in the pasty!”

"something tells me i could easily beat those trained professionals."

"the two of you are good friends? but i thought we would be good friends!"

"it's like a party in my mouth, except everyone's throwing up."

“i'm shocked. shocked! well, not that shocked.”

“it's me! no one else look in this mirror!"

“you ever think you only like girls cause you're supposed to?”

"we don't gotta put up with this! we got poli sci degrees."

“sorry, i suffer from a very sexy learning disorder.”

“did somebody say something about a free hot meal?”

“you gotta do what you gotta do.”

"too many bones? not enough cash?"

“hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?”

"i don't know how you did that."

"the butter in my pocket is melting!"

"well ... first i got up and had a piece of toast ..."

“i can't wait til i'm old enough to feel ways about stuff.”

“interesting! no ... wait ... the other thing. tedious.”

"i knew you come crawling back, like a bird on its belly!"

“we both know you won't make it halfway before the craving sets in! then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet sweet candy. bam!"

“indeed so, most indeededly.”

"and by metaphorically, i mean get your coat."

“[vehicle]'s ready except for this cup holder, and i should have that done in 12 hours."

"stop. stop! i will destroy you." [ bonus if the receiver is doing something mundane to sender ]

“just make a simple cake. and this time, if someone's going to jump out of it, make sure to put them in after you cook it.”

“lies, lies and slander!”

“you raised my hopes and dashed them quite expertly, sir!”

“but going through a divorce together, you can't pretend that didn't bring us closer together.”

“when you say the human body is the most efficient thing to use as a battery, wouldn't anything make a better battery? like a potato? or a battery?”

“i'll have you know that i bejazzle my own underpants!”

“i'm sorry you had to see that, [name], usually i let my sadness fester quietly inside as a mental illness.”

“i'm not drunk, i'm mentally ill! but i agree with what, what you said.”

“this is a cool way to die!”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 301: All My Todorokis

Previously on BnHA: We learned that when a bunch of superpowered villains are suddenly set loose with nobody around to stop them, things get fucked pretty quickly. Old Man Samurai and a bunch of other useless people decided to make “I pretend I do not see it” their new mantra, and resigned. Endeavor had a moment of despair on account of being crushed by the guilt of having ruined the lives of himself, his family, and basically everyone else in the entire world. For various reasons the heretical notion of “person who has done bad things feels sorry for doing them” sent fandom spiraling into a meltdown, so that was fun. The chapter ended with the entire Todoroki clan descending upon Enji’s hospital room to have a dramatic chat about Touya and All That General Fuckery.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “here’s the story of how Baby Touya slowly went insane trying to win his father’s love.” It’s a tale full of subverted expectations and heartbreaking inevitability, and also like twenty panels of the cutest fucking kids who ever existed on planet earth, who are so fucking cute that I can’t stop thinking about their cuteness even with all of the horrifying family tragedy unfolding around them. It is absolutely ridiculous how cute they are. Touya is out here pushing his tiny body past its limits because he inherited the same obsession as his dad and neither of them can put it aside even though it’s destroying them, and yet all I can think about is Baby Shouto’s (。･o･｡) face. Anyways what a chapter.

so I have to confess that even though I managed to avoid being caught off-guard by the early leaks, the number of people reblogging my Endeavor posts from earlier this week and using the tag “bnha 301” kind of gave me an inkling that this chapter will include more Tododrama lol. that said, I don’t know anything else about it, so we’re still good spoiler-wise

AHHHHH FLAHSBAKC AHHHH. omg I know I typoed the shit out of that, but I’m just going to leave it lol I think it’s fitting

holy shit holy fuck. so this is Rei and Enji’s first meeting, then??

yepppp, oh shit

so wait, I know this is not even the slightest bit important, but are they meeting at Enji’s home or Rei’s? because I always figured that Enji was the one with the super-Japanese aesthetic, but maybe that was Rei’s side of the family all along

(ETA: from what I found during my very brief google search, omiai meetings are often held at fancy hotels or restaurants, so maybe that’s what this is.)

there’s such a period drama feel to this setting. like it’s so outrageously formal fff how can anyone stand this kind of atmosphere though seriously

OH THANK GOD

I mean they’re still stiff af but at least they’re not rigidly sitting in seiza and staring at each other unblinkingly anymore lol. Enji’s actually got his hands in his pockets now. why is this somehow almost cute

oh damn it’s the flowers

Rei seems so subdued and it’s so hard to get any idea of what she’s actually thinking. I want to see her side of this dammit

but anyway, so at least from Enji’s perspective it seems like even though the marriage was arranged and he picked her because of her quirk, he still loved his wife and wanted to do right by her. the fact that he was watching her and noticed that she liked the flowers, and remembered that detail for all these years -- there’s a reason why Horikoshi’s showing us this. we know what’s going to happen later on; we know how much fear and violence and breaking of trust is coming up ahead, and while it may seem like this scene is serving to soften Enji’s character further -- which to be fair it is -- it also helps drive home the full impact of his abuse. that it’s so terrible not only because of the trauma of the abuse itself, but also because of the way it retroactively destroys all of the good things as well. this could have potentially been such a sweet scene, but it’s inescapably tainted by the knowledge of what’s to come, at least for me. and that’s just brutal

anyways, shit. is the whole chapter going to be like this?? feel free to toss in something I can actually make a joke about sometime, Horikoshi

oop, back to the present

omfg lol

“are you all right” “NO I’M NOT ALL RIGHT WHAT THE FUCK.” “oh, right, because of all the stuff that’s happened with me abusing you and you having a mental breakdown and being hospitalized for ten years and then our son coming back to life and killing thirty people, right, right. I almost forgot.” whoops

omfg you guys I’m loving this new and improved steely-eyed Rei. I’m loving her a lot

and what do you mean “part one” fkjds how long is this going to be. TOO MUCH DRAMA FOR ONE CHAPTER TO HANDLE

oh, hello

yeah I’ll say you did. didn’t seem to bother you much at the time, though

HMMMMMMMMMMMM

Dabi Is A Noumu intensifies even further. anyways though would you fucking look at this boy lounging on this moth-eaten couch doing his best DRAW ME LIKE YOUR FRENCH GIRLS impression wtf

Dabi what if you actually had killed him??? what would you feel?? satisfaction?? regret?? anything at all?? tell me your secrets goddammit

who are you talking to buddy

Fuyumi-chan, Natsu-kun (is it common for brothers to address each other as -kun?? can’t recall seeing that in many other anime, but hey), and “dot dot dot,,,,,, SHOUTO” lol thank you so much for this bountiful heaping of Tododrama Horikoshi we are blessed

AH, WHAT DID I SAY THE OTHER DAY

ULTIMATE MELODRAMATIC THEATER CHILD. “I’M JUST GOING TO LIE ON THIS COUCH SHIRTLESS AND ALONE AND MAKE SPEECHES TO MY FAMILY MEMBERS WHO AREN’T THERE AND SAY THINGS LIKE ‘WATCH ME IN THE PITS OF HELL’ WITH A STRAIGHT FACE BECAUSE NO ONE’S THERE TO JUDGE ME.” WELL JOKE’S ON YOU MISTER CHATTERBOX BECAUSE I AM IN FACT JUDGING THE SHIT OUT OF YOU LOL

(ETA: and on a more serious note, it’s interesting to see that “look at me”/”watch me” theme being used again though, because we see that same sentiment uttered repeatedly by the younger Touya in the flashback. well kid, you definitely got your wish at last. don’t know what else to say.)

OKAY HORIKOSHI HAS DECIDED THAT’S ENOUGH FUN, TIME FOR MORE FLASHBACKS

oh my sweet precious lord

just as cute as we left him. giving us a child this cute when we all know full well what’s going to happen to him is just unspeakably cruel though

HOMG

I’m fucking speechless. you broke me, congratulations. what am I even supposed to do with this

I can’t get over this. moving forward my life will be split into two distinct parts, B.P. (Before the Pout) and A.P. (After the Pout)

and meanwhile there’s ALL THIS BACKGROUND ANGST BUILDING UP, AND I CAN’T EVEN FOCUS ON IT. Touya’s arm and cheek are covered in bandages (I’m guessing this is shortly after that “ouch!” panel we got some chapters back), and Enji is deliberately avoiding training with him because he doesn’t want him to hurt himself further. I can’t fucking get over the irony that all this time everyone thought Touya had died because Enji pushed him too far in his training, and it turns out that it’s the opposite -- the tragedy ultimately happened because he didn’t want to push him. but I’m jumping ahead of myself though I guess

by the way,

remember this?? just wanted to remind you that it exists just in case you forgot

so now someone is talking and basically saying that Touya is the exact opposite of what Enji was hoping for when he decided to start playing with quirk genetics

-- okay hold up

...lol no, never mind. for a second I thought “holy shit he looks kind of familiar WHAT IF IT’S UJIKO OMG” before I remembered that Enji would have recognized him during the hospital capture mission if that was the case. so NEVER MIND, PROCEED

IMAGINE THAT, ENJI DOESN’T QUITE SEEM SATISFIED WITH THIS SUGGESTION OF QUITTING NOW

(ETA: how the fuck did this man go around saving 62 towns in a single day what even is All Might.)

[clicks tongue several times] trouble a’brewin’

MEANWHILE BABY TOUYA HAS UNFORTUNATELY INHERITED HIS DAD’S STUBBORN STREAK

KLDIHWOEIJFL:KSDJ

!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god. oh my god. what is this chapter. WHAT IS IT

so now Touya is all “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND MY MANLY DESIRE TO BURN MYSELF ALIVE” well you got her there champ

THEY’RE TOO CUTE. OH MY GOD. HIS FURIOUS LITTLE TEARS. HER CHUBBY LIL FACE. HIS STUBBY LIL FISTS. SOMEONE HELP ME

also are they just home alone lol or what. “hey Touya, you’re what, like six now?? do us a favor and look after your baby sister for a couple hours for us would you? make sure not to set yourself on fire or anything.” WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG!!

now it’s nighttime and Enji and Rei are arguing, presumably about his decision not to train Touya anymore

whew. okay. so, a couple of things here

1. first of all I think this conclusively shows that Enji really was trying to do the best he could for Touya. he stopped training him as soon as he realized it was hurting him, but Touya was still determined so he tried to make it work anyway, and even visited doctors to try and figure out if there was anything they could do. then, once they were absolutely sure that it wasn’t going to work, he tried multiple times to explain to Touya why they had to stop. he didn’t just abandon him out of the blue, which is really important to note. “no matter how much I tried telling him...”

so yeah, that debunks another common fandom accusation. so by the time he finally makes this decision, which we all know is going to turn out horribly, it’s basically because he’s already tried everything else he could think of. which, by the way, still doesn’t mean he handled this right. but at the very least he was taking Touya’s feelings into account and he was trying, and he didn’t just abruptly toss his son aside (at least not yet)

2. buuuut, then there’s this panel right below all that

which is the other side of it. if he’d just quit like the doctor person advised him to, that would have been the end of it. Touya would still have been upset, but he would have eventually gotten over it and the family would have moved on and possibly even been happy. but what happens next happens because Enji can’t let go. he still has this maddening urge to surpass All Might, and so he and Rei keep having more children, and then Shouto is born, and Enji finally has a kid he can start projecting all of his hysterical ambitions onto once again, and everything starts spiraling out of control soon after

though p.s. none of that is Shouto’s fault though!! he’s one of the few good things to come out of this whole mess and I’m very happy that he exists. the tragedy is that his dad fucking lost his mind over his quirk and fucked everything up. but that’s on him, not Touya or Shouto

anyways, SLKFJLSHGLKJL

I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS YOU GUYS??? LOOK AT THAT LIL BUTTON OF A NOSE??? I’M LOSING IT HERE???

AND TOUYA JUST SEEMS DEVASTATED OMG

because children aren’t stupid, after all. he understands that his dad is still looking to surpass All Might. and so he feels like a failure, and feels like his dad is trying to replace him because he wasn’t good enough. and even now, isn’t that what the adult Touya is trying to prove?? that he was good enough after all?? “I’ll show you what happens when you give up on me, dad”?? “I’ll show you what I can do”?? fuck my life fuck everything

AND YOU CAN SEE THE TOLL THAT IT’S ALL TAKING ON REI GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AS WELL OH GOD

really nice touch here with the panel outlines becoming all shimmery from the heat of Endeavor’s flames (and/or becoming more unstable as the family gets closer and closer to their breaking point). but man, Horikoshi I can’t handle this, please show us more cute kids or something I can’t

GKELKWFJLDKSHFLKL

WITTLE BABE. BEEB. BUBS. SMOL. lkj; oh ouch a piece of my heart just detached and latched onto him huh look at that

TODOROKI “I’M SO SMALL AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT’S GOING ON AND I DIDN’T ASK TO BE HERE” SHOUTO AHHHHH

crazy how they all just seem to know right off the bat lol. kid doesn’t even have object permanence yet, let alone a quirk. but do they care?? IT’S THE HAIR, RIGHT. WE’RE ALL THINKING IT, I’M JUST GONNA COME OUT AND SAY IT. they knew the minute they looked at him lol

AND MEANWHILE TOUYA IS OFF HAVING UNSUPERVISED TRAINING/CRYING SESSIONS IN THE MOUNTAINS OR WHATEVER, AND, UH OH

are those blue flames yet?? they seem pretty close

(ETA: this is one of the few cases where the manga being in black and white is infuriating lol.)

OH MY GOD AND STILL

so it’s not like he was so disinterested that he didn’t notice what was happening, and he was still trying to stop it and get through to him. trying to reassure him that it wasn’t the end of the world and there were other things he could do with his life, but this one particular thing just wasn’t going to happen

fucking hell. it’s agonizing seeing how close they actually were to fixing it. if he’d only said the right words, or if he’d realized at this point how destructive his obsession could be to his kids, and backed off from putting that same pressure on Shouto. we came so close to possibly having a happy ending

AND ALSO THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING BUT PLEASE LOOK AT HOW TOUYA IS LIKE THREE AND A HALF FEET TALL AND HIS DAD IS LIKE NINE AND A HALF FEET. Touya barely comes past his knees flkjlkg. the Todoroki household must have been so filled with like plastic stepstools to reach the bathroom sink and all the little baby toothbrushes, and baby gates to keep the kiddos out of the important grown-up rooms and stuff. and also days-old half-empty cups of water and stale crackers and hot wheels and my little ponies strewn everywhere

“BUT EVERYONE AT SCHOOL SAYS THEY’RE GONNA BE HEROES” a wild Deku parallel appears?? how bout that

I know this is like a pivotal moment in the Todo Tragedy and all, but fucking look at this lil dumpling

“sup bro, it’s me, the manifestation of your fears of inadequacy and lack of fatherly affections. a GAAA. ba-baAA-baa [gurgling baby sounds]”

OHHHHH IT’S THE SOUND OF MY HEART BREAKING OH NO

HE WANTS TO BE LIKE YOU ENJI. good lord somebody please just get this family some therapy

“DAD YOU IGNITED IT IN ME” flkjslkj nope, nope. not ready for this pain here

baby Shouto, would you like to weigh in on this affair? “DA!! ba-ga-daaa, [pacifier chewing noises]” oh my, you don’t say. so insightful for one so young

OH MY GODDDDDD

IT’S SO DRAMATIC BUT ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ARE THE SHOUNEN WOOSH LINES SURROUNDING FOUR-MONTH-OLD SHOUTO LOL HE WAS LIKE THIS FROM BIRTH OH MY GOD I AM DYING HELP

SHOUTO YOU’RE RUINING THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER!?!?!

“yo, the fuck kind of family was I fucking born into” oh, son. if you only knew. IF YOU ONLY KNEW!!

(ETA: lmao I got so distracted by the ridiculous cuteness that I glossed over the fact that Baby Touya seems to possibly be aiming at him?? it’s hard to tell because he’s also super out of it from heatstroke and may just be losing control in his attempt to show off his upgrade.)

ANYWAY THAT’S THE END EXCEPT WHAT’S THIS LAST LINE OMG

ffffff. and we’re in for ANOTHER chapter of this next week?? MORE drama?? MORE BABIES?? MORE OF EIGHT-YEAR-OLD TOUYA’S SLOW DESCENT INTO MADNESS. MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT, BUT ALSO YES PLEASE SIGN ME UP