#he would not fucking talk like a kindergardener

[nobodymitskigabriel]

Wild how it's as if so many Jack fanfic writers have never watched a single scene with Jack in it before.

[cloudrunnerscinnamon]

I guess I am back ...

(gif not mine)

Took me a while but here I am again writing fanfiction and fuck me that feels good!

So since I haven't written anything in quite some time – please be gentle. :) It is not perfect but it is a start. Here it goes. Enjoy!

Short, little something about the 12th Doctor and his travel companion. It is very fluffy. What I would imagine to be an almost „normal“ day in the Tardis.

The usual banter

„Well then stop complaining and just read it to me.“ (Y/N) said while she was walking through the many hallways of the Tardis holding a book in her hands. She was on her way to a more comfortable place to rest. She had spent the last half an hour reading, sitting on one of the chairs in the Tardis main console room. However her back had started to ache and she really did want to snuggle in under a blanket now. 

„When you were sitting on the chair I could at least pretend that you were listening to me being all clever. If you go away I got no one to be clever for.“

The Doctor trotted grumpily behind his friend inclined to follower her until he eventually would persuade her to return back to the console room. 

„Oh you poor thing you,“ (Y/N) twirled around while still walking and gave the doctor a puppy dog lock. Her sarcasm wasn’t lost on him at all. 

„I know you just want my attention because you are incapable of enjoying some down time. But I am not - so please just let me read my book in peace and finde someone else to impress.“ Continuing on in her path, (Y/N) heard the Doctor huffing out a loud breath. She smiled to herself. This was them having a good time. Simple, friendly banter mixed with a bit of truth and a piece of spite. 

„What are you reading anyways?“ The Time Lord inquired even though he already knew what (Y/N) was reading. 

He had checked out the title the minute the woman had picked up the book. He had only kept up his monologue about quantum physics and why it should be taught in Kindergarden to make sure she did not realize he was actually just paying attention to her. His mouth had been on auto pilot doing its own thing. Flushing out knowledge which sounded reasonable enough to not make (Y/N) suspicious. The Doctor’s eyes though were roaming over his friend. They had drunk in every detail about her. She had been sitting a little hunched forward, cross-legged on a console room chair and the Doctor knew her neck would hurt later. 

How she delicately held the book, absently running her index finger over the spine. Every other minute one of her hands would pull back a stray strand of hair which had fallen into her vision for the what seemed like the hundredth time. He smiled softly angling his head down a little, turning to the side just a bit so he wouldn’t give himself away. (Y/N)’s expressions were what captured him the most. She could run through so many facial expressions in seconds while reading and she didn’t even know it. 

After The Doctor and (Y/N) had started to travel together he had soon learned that she was an adamant reader. Always carrying a book with her which in fact had come in more handy than he could have thought. Soon he had revealed to her the big library the Tardis had to offer and she had spent countless hours in there since then. 

So to be honest the Doctor adored how much (Y/N) loved reading and was utterly stunned how much happiness it invoked in her. It made him feel like he could also maybe finde simple things that made him happy. It gave him hope and comfort. Nevertheless he would never admit this out loud. The teasing, the raillery and how they would always end up sitting together reading, talking about it, shushing each other when they wanted to make a point. He loved it, he loved her - which was a secret and something he pushed deep down, well away, avoiding the whole subject. 

To answer his question (Y/N) just held the book up over her shoulder. 

„You have read this one at least 3 times!“ The thick Scottish accent of this Doctor’s incarnation couldn’t possibly be more prominent. When he continued (Y/N) had to close her eyes for a second. She would never be able to un-hear that low dark rumble of a voice and it gave her the shivers - the good ones. 

„How can you read that again, it’s not getting any better. Wasn’t really good to begin with and—“

„5 times, I read it 5 times and it’s my favorite so don’t mock it you old grump.“ She said with a twinkle. Another huff from behind her and then she had reached the door to her room. 

The door slide upwards with a silent, swift movement and (Y/N) entered her room. 

It was a while back, when on a whim the Doctor had decided that it was time to give (Y/N) her own room. She had been traveling with him for well over a year and even though the Tardis was good at providing the woman with everything she needed when ever she went looking for it, the Time Lord really wanted to extinguish the thought of her just being a guest. So in addition to a key for the Tardis (Y/N) also had gotten a room. 

It was in itself a relatively large space however a comfortable king-sized bed, a dark green corduroy couch, several shelves filled with books and other stuff, as well as an antique wooden desk and a well-worn armchair made it look very cozy. Somehow the Tardis had managed to build in a big round window which was laid in deep enough so one could sit on the sill and marvel at the stars. A wooden stool was placed under it for better reach and the nook was set up with different sized cushions and blankets. There was no harsh light source, the whole room was illuminated by tiny fairy lights and garlands (Y/N) had hung in different corners and on the ceiling. Over time some of her drawings, keepsakes and other things had made its way onto the walls. There was a small bouquet of flowers, dried now put still carefully placed into a vase upon a small table next to the arm chair. Flowers (Y/N) had collected during one of the many adventures with the Doctor. In a corner by the bed was an old chair, layers of cloth made it almost invisible. Some of them had slit down onto a fluffy large rug. Somehow all of this captured so much of (Y/N)’s character and the space truly had become hers. It filled the Doctor with joy every time he noticed. 

When (Y/N) had just started staying in her own room the Doctor made a point to not enter it. He didn’t want to seem intrusive or else overstepping boundaries so he simply avoided the space all together. But as time passed those boundaries got pushed around and eventually evaporated. It appeared to be that neither the Doctor nor (Y/N) really minded the other in their rooms. Which is why, without hesitation, the Time Lord followed his friend inside. 

(Y/N) went straight for the big couch and crawled onto the shorter side of the L shape. Here she could finally rest her back comfortably against the big cushions and cover herself with that large blanket she had been craving. A happy sigh slipped over her lips and the plain words of her book started to take colorful form in her head. It could have been perfect but a few seconds in and (Y/N) had to avert her gaze from those pages just to see a rather cross Time Lord standing in front of her. His head was tilted to the side and he wore a what you could call a question-mark-expression on his face. It did nothing for him combined with his constantly peeved eyebrows but (Y/N) still smiled and sat up a little more. 

„You are not, you are really not?“ Lost for words, the Doctor in his bewilderment gestured between the room and the door, his hands flying around. 

„You are really going to just sit here and read that book?“ The Doctor pointed at the book as if he was trying to stab it. (Y/N) knew that the Doctor in fact did have a hard time wrapping his head around the concept of just doing nothing or at least not achieving anything, albeit one could argue reading was a great achievement. So she understood, some of this was show, familiarity, daily life with each other but still there was a little truth hidden in the Doctor’s words. He needed her to keep out the loneliness, the dark thoughts and perhaps even memories. The Doctor’s mind was much easier to carry when it was occupied. And most days (Y/N) was happy to oblige. She loved being his companion. One adventure after another, long sleepless nights and so many stories he could tell but some days she simply needed to rest. Catch her breath in someway. „Hey did you just silently insult my book with your finger. Cos I saw that!“ (Y/N) chuckled and rolled her eyes in a fake annoyed manner. She defensively covered the book with her hands mocking him. The Doctor drew in a breath and put his hands on his sides revealing the red lining of his long coat. His signature move, (Y/N) thought and she had to laugh at that. He really was a child sometimes, stomping his feet. 

„Come on now Doc. You have three options here,“ her thumb went up to indicate the different alternatives. 

„Number one: you can either sit down and be quiet,“ second finger joined, „ number two: you can go away do what ever the hell you want or,“ third finger rose, „ number three: and this is my preferred option, you can sit down, snuggle in and read the book to me.“ (Y/N) wiggled her fingers at the Time Lord and shrugged. 

„Your pick.“

To the Doctor there really weren’t three options here, all he truly wanted was to be close to (Y/N). She calmed him, he had figured that out awhile back after they had been traveling together for only a few weeks. Everything around him usually carried some kind of intensity, pressure and he had a tough time ridding himself off that even in the comfort of his Tardis. (Y/N) took that away, she was like a constant that fixed something in him. At first he wasn’t able to accept that. It felt weird to the Doctor that somebody else had such an impact on him but after a while he recognized it as something special. With her around there was no need to go on and keep digging, to keep finding but he never told her that. Old habits die hard and he wasn’t ready to share that knowledge yet. After all he was the Doctor who kept running right? 

Nevertheless (Y/N) did notice that the way the Doctor treated her differed a little from how he carried himself with others. She put it off to all the countless hours they had spent together and them simply being comfortable around each other. Just friends. 

The Doctor grumbled something under his breath and kept lingering in the middle of the room. 

„What was that?“, she asked. Instead of an answer the Doctor took a few long strides towards the Couch. Before (Y/N) could do anything the book was snatched from her hands and with a thud the Doctor plopped down right next to her. He pushed his shoes off putting his feet up and under his companion’s blanket. His left arm came down around (Y/N)’s shoulders and he opened the book at the latest dog-ear. 

„You really have got to stop doing that.“ The Doctor nodded towards the book. „Dog-ears are just horrendous especially for the next reader.“ 

„If you wouldn’t interrupt me so often there’d hardly be any.“ (Y/N) tried to sound offended but she couldn’t hide the smile forming on her lips. She grabbed the Doctor’s hand that was resting on her left arm and squeezed it lightly. His fingers involuntarily interlaced with hers right away and his thumb caressed the back of her hand. This was sweet and surprising. They had been sitting close together before but as of late more often. However it normally didn’t go further than their bodies touching side by side. 

The atmosphere had suddenly changed. The moment came and went and still they were just sitting there quietly, waiting maybe. (Y/N) moved first. She scooted down a little so she could lean more into the Doctor and was able to rest the back of her head on his chest. (Y/N) could feel the rise and the fall of the Time Lord’s breath. Were those thumps his hearts? She couldn’t be sure because her own heart was beating wildly. The Doctor drew in a long breath, he wanted to start reading. As much as he was enjoying the close proximity to (Y/N) he was also scared to give away how much it actually moved him. Reading would at least draw some of his braincells in another direction. He closed his eyes for a second to compose himself, how could he be so nervous? He was The Doctor, the oncoming storm, bringer of darkness and –.  And in the face of feelings remotely in the vicinity of romance he still basically was just a school boy with a crush, tongue tide and clumsy hands. Sensing that the Doctor was hesitating for some reason, (Y/N) turned around a little and peeked up at the Doctor. The look she saw in his eyes startled her. She had seen that kindness and calm before all though hardly ever as unfiltered as it was right then. Yet (Y/N) got a scarce view of something else and it confused her immensely. What was that? (Y/N) let go of the Doctor’s hand and without thinking about it she very softly ran a finger along his face. She started at his hairline slowly tracing it down to his cheekbone, continuing on until she reached the corner of his mouth, drawing a half circle down upon his chin. And before she even realized what she had just done her hand dropped back down lying flat on the Doctor’s chest. 

„I,“ (Y/N)’s voice came out a little raspy and she had to swallow to clear her throat. 

„I thought, I thought I saw, there was something, I…“ She shook her head. 

„Sorry I didn’t mean to just –. How rude of me!“ (Y/N) gained her bearings back and was suddenly very aware of what she had just done. Her face grew red and she felt stupid.

If the Doctor hadn’t been holding his breath before he sure as hell was now. The way she had run her finger down his face and had looked at him while doing so made him speechless. Second time he was lost for words in mere minutes, that’s an accomplishment. All the carefully stored away feelings he harbored for his travel companion came rushing out trying to finally overwhelm him. Well and that was that. It was over, there was no denying it anymore. After all that time and all those rules he put upon himself something just snapped. Fine, here we go then, the Doctor thought. Wrapped up in this huge aha-experience of his, (Y/N) begun to wiggle her way out of there close sitting positions. She didn’t dare look at the Doctor and just wanted to get away. Shocked by the unexpected loss of contact the Doctor panicked a little and dropped the book on the couch He quickly took a hold of (Y/N)s hands. She halted in her movement. Without saying anything the Doctor tucked a little. What he really meant to say was ‚please don’t leave, everything is good. Stay here - with me.‘ but all he managed, owed to his utter lack of being able to say what he really feels, was: 

„Where are you going?“ His voice was soft, no trace of insistence. Silence. They looked at each other. The Doctor didn’t want this to go south, he wanted to save this situation make it go back to where they had been moments ago.Where was time traveling when one really needed it. When (Y/N) clearly wasn’t going to say anything, worse it looked like she still wanted to flee. The Doctor chose to go for chatter. Comfort lies in the known and chatting each others ears off – they knew. 

„So you touched my face, no big deal. Isn’t like you haven’t done that before is it?“ The Doctor tried to sound normal, relaxed even.

„I mean I get it, I am a sight to behold.“ He wiggled his eyebrows and made an upward motion with his hand, flipping long strands of hair around he clearly didn’t have. 

This was funny in itself because this particular regeneration of the Doctor really didn’t think himself handsome or good looking in any way. It had never bothered him too much. However since he felt more and more drawn to (Y/N) in a romantic manner he kind of wished he still was that young, springy, bow-tie version or even the sand-shoed one. 

Finally a small smile on (Y/N)’s lips. Her shoulders relaxed a little too. Just one more for good measure then, the Doctor thought, and we should be reading in no time. 

„Now I haven’t got all day. Do you want me to read this to you or would you rather prefer to map out more of my frowning lines?“ Almost back to her quick-witted self (Y/N) opened her mouth to respond but the Time Lord cut right in. 

„Oh and no I am not doing voices. The last time I did that I had slightly too much red wine and you had broken your fragile human wrist.“ He glared at her one more time smirking and picked the book back up. (Y/N) was moving back into the position she had just left so hasty and slapped the Doctor on his knee. 

„As long as I don’t have to hear anything about quantum physics for the next few weeks I take what I can get, you grouch.“ The Doctor scoffed, giving her a disbelieving look. „I have, you know, on good authority that some people would commit murder to her me lecture about –“ This time (Y/N) went right over the Doctor’s words. 

„Shhh, less talking more reading.“ With that (Y/N) fully leaned back and placed her head on the Doctor’s hearts once more. The Time Lord smiled to himself. When he started to read his thick Scottish accent filled the room, he knew she loved it. 

[ghostiewriter]

You know what I hate the most about obx?? And yes a part from the JJ dying storyline.

The writers never complete a plot.

-Kie and Sara’s relationship in kook year: them only mentioning ONCE and then…they could have wrote little inside jokes giving us input in what could have happen (aside of what little explanation we got). Not ONCE

-Pope and Kie’ storyline?? Why would you make them hook up if they wouldn’t have a repercussion? It was for the giggles?? Like you could have ended it in the kiss we got in season 1 and then Kiara wanting to be with Pope only because she was grieving and then realizing what she was doing but no let’s make this a item so we don’t talk about it never again.

-The melted cross????? No saying about it in season 4?? How was Pope so chill lol even Cleo could have a line delivered there.

-How the fuck Kiara was in good terms with her parents?? The kicked her out- they welcomed her but putting her in some test of sort- failed- she was sent to kitty hawk- she returned but was not welcome - they appear at the ceremony - the meet at court and all is WELL??? Excuse you what the hell?? And she even told JJ that everything was better than going to live with her parents BEFORE the court thing and AFTER the ceremony I’M…

-Which brings me to Kie’s PTSD of being kidnapped not ONCe But TWICE!!!!! Not even a little bit of a struggle?? (We could count her being locked in the hyper chamber but please DEVELOPED IT MORE)

-The obvious one: JJ discovering he is adopted and then being killed without knowing ANYTHING i want to cry please the consistent of this show is none. Like we didn’t even get an explanation of Luke’s background of why he was a piece of shit to JJ when he oh so seem so nice around him (This is purely bad writing because that man is evil and because it was so out of pocket that storyline they had to redeem him b u l l s h i t)

-Cleo life story???????? And thats my only observation. It seems they only put her in the show and as a part of the pogues so Pope could get the girl instead of building up a personality for her first.

Peterkin’s murder, Shoupe and Plumb corruption, JJ’s arc, The first gold, LIMBREY and I could go on and on. So many plots that weren’t over. If you don’t close one then don’t add more!!

And don’t get me started at how fast everything happens: Sarahs and John B’s relationship + them sinking together (if you said months or even a years passed ok acceptable they know enough about each other but they were only for days lol), the first gold hunt and the cross being one month from the El Dorado? Those kids are seriously better than Sherlock Holmes lol, Jiara looking like a newly couple when 1) theyve been best friends since kindergarden (or third grade, another inconsistency) 2) it has been like 18 months

I don’t know if it is because they wanted a teen drama show like the oc meeting the groonies blah blah but those shows were 20ish chapter long if you have 10 episodes you will never have time to explore all the things you want. And yes is a critic to the awful writing they do in this show AND the fact that they only settle for 10eps because honestly a show that envolves a lot of main characters have to have a consistency. Like in the first season all the personalities shine but then a lot of them loose depth or turned a hell of dramatic also they stopped writing good relationships and not in the romantic kind: where was Kie and John’s B relationship after season 1?? JJ and Sarah’s?? Cleo and Kie’s?? And I could go on and on…

I watched the show for the funs and the giggles but that stopped after seeing the mess of season 4 part 2 was and also may i say, Jiara fanfic writers captured all SO well and it is so funny and beautiful to read you all because you DEVELOP and DEEPEN so i think thats why i feel in love with this characters, aside loving Jiara as a pair in the first seasons: thanks to you all! So thank you!!

And here is my ranting lol I had to said something somewhere seeing as the people I know don’t give a fuck about this show (how lucky of them)

RETWEET!! REBLOG!! REPOST!! ALL OF IT!!

i could look past inconsistent plots if they had given us fun scenes here and there where the pogues felt like a family (like tbh the first episode of season four) but instead we got alligator attacks, boats blowing up, plane crashes and more bad parents that any group of friends should ever have

[graneymar]

u and kylian are childhood friends and you and neymar are talking or whatever but kylian doesn’t know

#1. NEYBAPPÉ: JUST A FRIEND

SUMMARY: above

WARNINGS: none

PAIRINGS: Kylian x female reader friendly, Neymar x female reader romantically

"Where are you? Want to come over and watch a movie?", Kylian asked me through text. I bit my bottom lip, thinking of an excuse. Neymar sat down on the couch next to me, handing me another glass of wine, "Is anything wrong?" I sighed and pointed at my phone screen. Keeping my 'situationship' with Neymar a secret from my best friend felt like torture to me.

Kylian and I used to tell each other everything, we were like each others diaries. We grew up in the same neighbourhood and went to kindergarden and school together. He actually was like big brother to me. Back when I got bullied in school, he would always stick up for me. Whenever someone talked badly about me he'd make them shut up instantly. Sometimes he was a little too overprotective though. After I broke up with my first boyfriend of two years and Kylian found out he cheated on me, he made sure he would regret hurting me - by breaking his nose. I kind of had a thing for 'bad boys', which always led to me suffering from heartbreak and lovesickness. Since Kylian viewed me as his little precious sister he had to take care of, he slowly started hating every guy that I only laid my eyes on. I understood he was afraid I'd get hurt again, but he loved to exaggerate.

Neymar and I first met each other at Kylians birthday party and it simply clicked the very moment our eyes met. After that, the three of us would go out for dinner, attend parties or just relax at home every now and then. I always had a crush on Neymar, but I never told anyone, not even Kylian.

One night, Neymar and I accidentally bumped into each other at a club. I wasn’t able to find my friend I came with and I had more than enough drinks anyway, so he refused to let me go home alone and decided to go with me. Long story short, we ended up in bed and from that day on, we had our little 'situationship' going. Yes, of course I was developing feelings, but Neymar kept giving me mixed signals, so I assumed it wasn’t anything too serious for him. I was scared of Kylian finding out because I knew he would kill us, especially Neymar if I ended up getting hurt.

"Just don’t reply. I mean he doesn’t have to know where you are and what you are doing 24/7", Neymar shrugged it off and started playing the show we were watching. He was right, but I still felt bad for 'breaking' my best friends trust.

Drinking a few more glasses of wine, Neymar and I completely forgot about the show and were all over each other again. "Let’s go to the bedroom", he said as he pulled away, but continued to kiss my neck. I was sitting on top of him, his large hands running up and down my body. Right when I was about to get off of him after sharing one more kiss, the door bell rang. Neymar rolled his eyes. "Who the fuck…", he groaned annoyed, walking up to the door as he tried to hide the huge bulge in his pants. I sunk into the sofa, hoping we could continue where we stopped fast enough. "Hey man", I heard a familiar voice greeting him. No no no no. I jumped up, looking around to find a place to hide in, but Neymars furnishings were too simple. I couldn’t even run to hide in another room without getting noticed. My heart raced as I heard the footsteps getting closer. Fuck. "Kylian, bro, I'm not…", Neymar started, but Kylian entered the room before he could even finish, "… alone." Finishing his sentence was more than unnecessary because Kylian already stood a few metres away from me, looking at me in disbelief and confusion. I ran my hands through my hair in frustration and threw Neymar an angry look. He just shrugged, meaning he couldn’t do anything about it. "Y/N, what are you doing here?" I swallowed hard, unable to find a reasonable explanation. Kylian pouted and nodded slowly, noticing our wine glasses. "I guess it’s not the first time. Is this the reason you two have been so busy lately?" I tried to answer but I was lost for words. Not only have we kept our 'affaire' a secret from him, but we absolutely neglected him too. "Take your stuff, Y/N, I'll drive you home", Kylian said, making me shake my head from right to left and repeating the action. "I- I don't want to go home." His eyes widened. "I understand you only want what’s best for me and you’re trying to protect me from getting hurt, but I am a grown woman and got to make my own decisions and if I want to stay with Ney tonight, I will. There’s nothing you can do about it, I'm sorry." Neymar softly but proudly grinned at me. Kylian breathed in and out heavily. He was obviously disappointed and mad. "Y/N, could you leave us alone for a minute? I think we should talk about it", Neymar said. I sighed loudly walking out.

I was relieved, their conversation seemed to go well, both of them speaking calmly and quiet, but a few minutes in, Kylian raised his voice, "You don't know understand, Neymar! She has been so hurt so many times, I don't want to see her suffer because you take advantage of her and end this whole thing once you get bored!"

"No, you don't understand! It’s not just sex! I- I like her, I really do. I just didn’t figure out how to tell her yet", Neymar replied, lowering his voice at the last part. I literally forgot how to breathe, my heartbeat stopped for a moment. Kylian remained silent, but chuckled a few seconds later. "Are you telling me my two best friends are probably dating in near future?" Neymar whispered something, I couldn’t tell what it was, all I heard was Kylians laughter getting louder. "Are you done?", I asked entering the living room. Kylians wide grin expressing his amusement, Neymar looked somewhat uncomfortable. Before standing up, Kylian patted Neys shoulder, but he slapped his hand away in embarrassment. "You know what, you’re right. You’re a smart, strong woman and don’t need me to protect you from everything and everyone anymore", Kylian hugged me tightly, "Just don’t forget about the other sort of protection, yeah?“ He winked and laughed as he let go of me. "Shut up", I gasped.

"Have fun", were his last words before waving us goodbye and leaving the apartment.

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

spiritual sequel to this <3

He gulps, his adam's apple pressing against the broken bottle. For a second he is transported back to an eternity ago, when he and Nance had still been together. The weird freaky loner was suddenly imposing, a real threat that could be enacted upon at any moment. His heart is beating too fast but he knows it isn't just out of fear. First Jonathan Byers, now Eddie Munson. He clearly has a type.

And then he thinks: no. And he simply refuses.

See, Steve has learnt over the years that he is very good that. Refusing. His parents commanded him to maintain an upstanding reputation, rebellious and neglected as he was he obviously refused, and somehow they never found out about the parties he used throw in their residence. Tommy and Carol - his closest friends since kindergarden - told him again and again to drop Nancy, and he refused. Billy almost killed him because he refused to let him harm his kids. Robin told him she was a lesbian, so he refused to have romantic feelings for her and now she is the best friend he has ever had and his literal soulmate (platonic with a capital P, of course)

So he remembers how disappointed Lucas looked when he didn't see any of his friends - or even his sister - on the stands. He remembers how much fun Lucas always has playing D&D, how his eyes shone when he talked about Eddie and his awesome campaigns. He remembers how much of a jackass Jason Carver - who somehow managed to become team captain - had been back when he'd first started basketball (and from what Robin tells him, he only got worse). He hadn't even instigated this particular bout of violence by insulting Munson's little brother who had recently disappeared and been presumed dead (his insides still try to tear themselves to pieces in shame every time he thinks about that) so he doesn't need to feel guilty.

Suddenly it is much easier to focus on the ugly raw desperation in those eyes instead of their warm brown color. The strong grip on his arm is nothing but uncomfortable (and no, definitely not in that way). Eddie's self-care routine must be awful judging by the chapped state of his lips (no, the fact that Jonathan Byers did not own a single moisturizer when he'd had a crush on him does not come into play here. Neither the fact that Munson's lips are very close to his). And, most importantly, he must be an awful person because not only did he steal Steve's kids away, but he doesn't even do the bare minimum and properly take care of them. On the contrary, he had the audacity to turn Dustin and Mike against Lucas. Who had been best friends since before middle school.

(Steve doesn't even have to actively suppress any details this time. He remembers how Lucas tried to hide his disappointment when Steve and Robin had been the only ones from their little gang who came to congratulate him. The thought alone makes him angry enough that the only thing he can see is red.)

Dustin pleads for Eddie to let go and it is even easier to ignore how "weirdos who look like they haven't slept in a week and can absolutely kick his ass" seem to really do something for him while not feeling the other's warm breath against his face. They have a short discussion that ends with them leaving Eddie behind for now. Alone. Doesn't feel too good, huh?

It's not like he thinks that Eddie committed the murders. The tremor in his voice and tears in his eyes remind him of his own first few days after finding out about the upside down, and he doesn't think that Dustin and Mike would be so blinded by their adoration that they'd miss the fact that the dude they worship is a literal serial killer, nosy little shits that they are. And sure, the guy doesn't deserve to have the entire town call him a satanic serial killer and chase him like a wild dog. And sleeping in a fucking boat can't be really comfortable.

However.

Eddie is also the reason that Lucas had to celebrate his victory with a bunch of strangers he didn't feel comfortable with. Eddie is the reason that Lucas isn't here right now, where Steve can keep an eye on him. The upside down is making their move once again and Hopper is dead and Joyce is gone and at least Mike flew away into safety (please be safe) but Max is gone and Lucas is gone and he has to take care of Robin too and also fucking Eddie Munson who is the fucking reason their group isn't complete right now and he can feel his nerves fraying and he is losing his fucking mind.

So maybe he resents Eddie for being able to befriend the kids without having to go through multiple traumatic experiences with them. Maybe he resents how obsessed Dustin and Mike are with him even though he doesn't even care for them. Maybe he resents how Lucas' disappointment reminds him so much of when he still searched for his parents after a good game: that stubborn glimmer of hope he couldn't erase even if he knew how foolish it was. Maybe he resents how Eddie never felt the need to pretend to be someone else, how he was always loud and weird and a freak and stood to it no matter what people said. Maybe he resents Eddie for being another person he has to look after even though he is the eldest (it is his responsibility to keep everybody safe but he isn't sure he can do it and why is Eddie allowed to be scared when Steve has also seen death and blood and guts and Eddie is just as close to the kids and he's even older than him and it isn't fucking fair). Maybe he is just tired and terrified and fucking mad because they don't fucking deserve this. Eddie was the one thing that made school less unbearable for the kids, and the upside down had to come and taint that, too.

Well, it doesn't matter either way. This isn't about him. This is about Robin and Nancy and the kids and now also Eddie Munson. Maybe he doesn't like him, but that doesn't matter. Because he is the protector, and it is his job to keep everybody safe, and he has already failed way too often. Protection - the right to live and not be ripped into pieces by terrifying monsters from another dimension - isn't something that has to be earned.

The door falls shut behind them. The last thing he sees are wide terrified eyes.

He can't stop thinking about Lucas and Max.

[mgarmagedon]

Childhood TV shows? (cartoons, disney/nick sitcoms, etc.)

THAT WILL LIKE GIANT POST BECAUSE I WATCHED THOUSENDS OF CARTOONS, SITCOMS AND MUCH MORE XDDD

Long story short, I didn't have any friends in my childhood and usually I was bullied physically and mentally at elementary school so yeee- That is why I spend 50% of the time in my home looking non stop at the TV screen and watching whatever i found (rest of the time i was playing with my littlest pet shops and monster high dolls making cults, apocalypse, and cities. I LOVED making city for my pet shops and rule them all >:D)

So I will tell about the most important ones for me, because this post would never end if I start talking about EVERYTHING (and won't talk about movies, because it's about what children channels was showing.)

In my kindergarten era my favorite cartoons was mainly on one channel BBC for kids. It was my gold, everything i needed after long day in kindergarten where children were beating shit out of me. And lately I rewatched Numberjacks, Charlie and Lola (funfact my 20y/o dog is named after her older bro XDD), Big coock and Little cook, Teletubbies, The Koala Brothers, etc. (i watched everything what was showned at that time on BBC) This shithead from Numberjack still makes me scared.

He is a demon from my past.

But my parents because they doesn't gave a shit what i was watching my top 1 kindergarden cartoon was original Ben 10 and Lady Gaga music videos (And I'm not even fucking kidding, my family has videos that i could sit for an hours and just watch poker face over and over again.)

And i also rewatched it lately and found out that most of the talking roles are shared between Ratchet and Optimus polish VAs (Jarosław Boberek and Dariusz Odija)

Later we got more channels on our old TV so I started watching channels like Nick, Disney channel and Disney XD (we had cartoon network, etc. before so yeah). And for that time Hannah Montana was perfect for me i truly love it. I loved this show. The same with ICarly (fuck Dan Schneider, fuck paramount and nick that was hiding him and other p3does for years, they are acting like disney but worse) BUT there were also sitcoms for boys, and if you know me I LOVE MEDIA FOR TEEN BOYS. After Hannah Montana stopped showing up, I really felt in love in I’m in the Band, Zeke and Luther, Kickin’ It, ESPACIALLY Crash & Bernstein, because it was mupped show but cooler for me at the time XD

More ppl should know about it XD

And after it my golden era begin, because we got even more channels and I could watch for first time show that will change my life forever, thanks to this show I'm with you guys rn and start to draw:

My first ever episode of lego ninjago was the episode where 1ep of 3 season, and it got me so hard XDD and at the time I cried me when I was 10 I cried like little baby when Zane died and was this show-don't-tell ending with Pixal. It was everything I needed... and it made me nerd also XDDD At the time i start to watching Teletoon+ like crazy!!! I watched MLP there and LPS too! And I'm so pissed of on myself, because TFP was shown there to but I didin't want to watched, because since i was youngling I hated Bayverse and was scared of their faces, so fuck you Micheal Bay, I almost missed the best TF show ever because of you :))

But also worth to talk about is The Amazing world of Gumball, oh boy I love it the same as Lego Ninjago and Nexo Knights!!! It was spiderman universum for me, when i was young, I watched since it premiered to the very end and even as a young teen I appreciated the animation and creativity that Gumball was showing us. Since today I think that animation and ideas are just pure genius and I can not even tell one thing bad about it like about Total Drama (1-3 season lives rent free in my head still, that is why I'm danganronpa fan) XDD

And now we are getting to second most necessary canon even in my life. The March 16th of 2015 first episode of polish Transformers robots in disguise was showed and it was fun for me! Fun enough that I recommended it to my friend that I created this au with, and she told me that it was cool too! And then years has passed and in 2022 she rewatched because she was bored and discovered Transformers Prime, she was so amazed of it that she begged me for MOUNTH to watch it! And guess how she convinced me to watch it??? XD she showed me that one ep that Starscream was running with KO, because zombie Silas was hunting them XDD (I'm spoiler proof, so I wasn't angry that she showed me ep from 3 season). AAAAnd that is how it started and that is why I'm with you rn and drawing transformers stuff for more than 2 years

So Rid15 literally get me into this awesome fandom!!!

And then I started using internet to the state, that I stopped watching TV at all so yeah... (i mean i was using internet since 2010 when I was 6, and using school computer to play dress up games, but yk what i mean) AND ofc there was much much much more cartoons and shows i watched BUT like I told you there is too much of it XDD

As a funfact my sister forced me to watch naruto and sailor moon in very young age, so I never watched fully and to the age of 13, because of her I HATED anime XDDD

[orionicchaos]

Boys will be dandelions

a genshin impact smau | Kaveh × transmasc!reader

masterlist

THE CAST - PT.1

Respectable people and scaramouche - [Name]'s friends

[Name] - a rather anxious trans man, can't correct people for fuck's sake (Keqing or Scara usually do it for him). Follows two different courses at uni : art and history. Mostly likes to draw small doodles on his iPad, or doing small talks with Albedo when they paint during art class, or with Mika. Met all his friends at uni except for Scara and Hu Tao.

Scaramouche - a theater kid who has been doing theater for way too many years for someone who "hates it"; he's in the uni's theater club. He's also part of the "Harbringers", a group of eleven elite members among the others from the club. A proud trans man and [Name]'s bestfriend : Scara probably is the person he looks up to the most. They met in kindergarden.

Hu tao - a pretty famous streamer on Twitch : they do lives about pretty much everything : vlogs (around their city or in an abandoned garden), video games, casual chats, reacts.. they don't have the biggest community but their followers love them. Quite popular among queer users, especially trans people. Became friends with [Name] and Scara in middle school, they all went thought their social transition together ! Since then, they like to annoy Scara. Follows a social sciences course.

Mika - the only cis person of the group ! Met [Name] and everyone thanks to his shared class with [Name] and Albedo : the art course. He would have preferred a geography course but there is none around here. A bisexual disaster who does sport on the weekend (and nobody understands how he can wake up on a sunday to do sport). It's a mystery how he ended friend with everyone as he is quite shy but they all love him !

Albedo - a talented artist (to be really honest, he's talented at everything : from sciences to art, being pretty and smart..) who can't wrap their head around gender : came to the conclusion they have none, and began identifying as agender when he learnt what it meant. Uses him because he's used to and also they because it kinda fits but in reality, he doesn't really give a damn about this or anything : they have friends, art, sciences and that's all he needs.. right ?

Keqing - the literral girlboss who will advocate anytime and anywhere for her friends : someone misgendered [Name] ? Believe her when she says they will not do that again. Someone's having beefs with Mika ? She'll talk to them (punch them in the face with "diplomacy"). She has a cold exterior that she built when she was younger (she grew up as a trans girl in a conservative area) but she's a sweetheart and everyone relies on her from time to time. Follows the social science and history courses.

Kazuha - a really sweet person loved by everyone, but no one can really understand what is going on in their head. Xe's the kind of friend who will always have the words to comfort or compliment you and a soft shoulder to rest on. He'll always great people with a kind smile and their hugs are perfect. He follows a litterature course and writes poems to every friends of his at least once a month.

• as you can see i have my pref when doing smaus.. keqing, albedo, kazuha and scara are already friends with reader in Summer Love Club. This time, Hu Tao is friend with reader and not with the love interest. And i added Mika ! Because he deserves it lol

• all of them are some of my favourite trans hc of genshin esp hu tao and scara tbh

• the two people that reader follows on his private are hu tao and scara, and they followed him back on this account. This acc is basically a vent acc but it's also where reader posts anything he doesn't dare posting on his main

cred : @orionicchaos

[reneebrxndxn]

Redwood Prom - Hallway

where Renee happens upon Vi and Vi lets Renee have a piece of her mind. @virewolf

Vi Wolf

-she knew there were things she couldn't do the same anymore, but that didn't mean it was still frustrating; her leg hurt like a bitch after hours of standing, and she'd limped her way off into one of the hallways; sliding down against the wall, she groans as her joints ache, sending sharp pain up her thigh before it stretches out- Shit. -she mutters, applying pressure to her aching knee-

Renee Brandon

-Renee had waited a bit to let Ike get far enough away before grabbing the supplies and heading back to the party. She was still upset but she couldn't exactly deal with it now. She was heading down the hall when she noticed Vi gripping her knee- Hey, you okay?

Vi Wolf

-the voice cuts through the pain; she obviously knows that voice; she never minded it before, and now it makes her scowl as she turns her gaze towards Renee coming down the hallway- What the fuck is wrong with you?

Renee Brandon

-Renee comes to a stop, dropping the box carefully by her feet. Her face is clearly confused- Sorry?

Vi Wolf

You heard me. What the fuck is wrong with you?

Renee Brandon

-she is stunned as she tries to recall what she might have done to Vi to make her so pissed off- I.....I don't understand. Did I do something?

Vi Wolf

Oh, you know what you did. -Vi snaps sharply; the pain of her leg is radiating, her patience thinning- You almost killed Ike.

Renee Brandon

-her body goes rigid. So he had told someone. She shouldn't be surprised and she's not but still, this had caught her off guard.- It....it was an accident.....I'm sorry.

Vi Wolf

Oh fuck off, Brandon. -Vi curses as she pushes herself back to her feet in spite of the pain- Not like you didn't damn well know what you were doing.

Renee Brandon

-she is completely confused.- What? -did Vi.....did she think she did it on purpose?- I didn't know there were walkers in there. I wouldn't have ran in if I did.....what did Ike tell you?

Vi Wolf

Enough. And don't even try and tell me that he lied to me, or that he's trying to make you look like the bad guy. Cause if you do that I'm gonna sock you. Vi limps towards her, eyes narrowed with anger as she steps in front of Renee, meeting her gaze- You almost got him killed because you got some kindergarden-type dislike for him.

Renee Brandon

-despite the fact that she wasn't moving, she could feel herself cowering as Vi got closer- That's not.... -she feels like she'll get punched for this but she had to try- The last thing I wanted was for anyone to get hurt. I was pissed and tired and I didn't want to be around him, but I did not try to get him killed. I. Made. A. Mistake. -she is trying to keep her voice steady but even she feels how shaky it is- You don't have to believe me, but it's the truth. I would never want anything to happen to him. -she visibly tenses up as she prepares for the punch-

Vi Wolf

Fucking spare me with the cowering. -Vi gets up in her face, her face hardset into a scowl as she stares Renee down- You were pissed? Tired? Congrats, we all are. Ike's probably more pissed and tired than you can even imagine. But he's not around here kicking in doors and letting in walkers because he's pissed. -Vi stares at her- He's protecting you. Even though you don't deserve that.

Renee Brandon

-Renee bites down on her tongue, resisting the urge to point out that again, she didn't know that there were walkers in the clinic.- You're right, I don't. I never asked him to do that. I'm trying to make things right.

Vi Wolf

How? -her tone is challenging, her gaze cold as steel-

Renee Brandon

I've apologized to him profusely and I'm gonna talk to Ermano and Jemma and tell them what happened.

Vi Wolf

That's all? -Val jerks up her chin at Renee, piercing the other woman with her gaze- You shouldn't be in the council.

Renee Brandon

Yeah, well....that makes two of us. -she breathes out as she turns and picks up the box- I should get these to the party.

Vi Wolf

Then abdicate. Take some accountability, Brandon. -Vi stares at her, jaw muscles working- And actually think about how Ike feels for a change. You've been treating him like shit before that, too.

Renee Brandon

-Renee picks up the box and turns- I'm very aware I misjudged him, Vi. I've told him that and apologized for that too. He doesn't believe me.

Vi Wolf

-her eyes narrow- You're making it about you again. How bad you feel. How much you regret it. -she scowls- You're doing nothing to make him believe it. You're not making me believe it either. You're still calling it a mistake,

Renee Brandon

That's because of it's what it was. A mistake. Lapse in judgement. You and him want to believe it's something more malicious than what it was and it's not but there's nothing I can say or do to change either of your minds.

Vi Wolf

Not what. -Vi stares at her, something inside her eyes flickering- I'm saying it wasn't a mistake. I'm saying it was a choice. A stupid choice, one that you didn't think too much about, but a choice. You knew there could be walkers in that building, because we're living in a damn apocalypse, but you still went in. That's a choice. Not a mistake.

Renee Brandon

-Renee stays silent for a minute- Yes, I chose to go in because I thought I could take care of it myself and I was wrong. I wish I could go back and change it but I can't. I never wanted anything bad to happen to Ike. Or anyone for that matter. That may not be good enough for you or for him but it's the truth. -she adjusts the box in her hands- I'm going to drop off these supplies now. It was nice chatting with you, Vi. -she walks off, feeling already worse than she did earlier-

[candiedapplez]

I ask you all of the questions from that one reblog. Good luck/nf/j

Omg ok this will be a while then tehehehehehehhe im not complaining though!!!! Heres the questions so u can look at the questions and the answers!

1.this one is OBVIOUS!!! A-90 and Opheebop!!! DUUUUUUUH!

2.lighter. Ive never used a match before

3.ew no!!! I don't want buggies crawling in my room while im sleeping!!!! However i have before!

4. Aaaaaa ive never really gotten into that stuff so i cant really give an answer-

5. A really dark brown!!

6. Oops i did that again???

7. Well idk ive used both and they are both work really well! however i do think scrunchies are safer for your hair, i use normal hair ties more often because scrunchies are more bulky and yeah i dont prefer that, but both are great!

8. Six. I have six.

9.NONE! COFFE IS GROSS BLEEEEEEGH!!

10. Ofc!!

11. Does drawing count?

12. Good day!!!!! I havent cried yet so-

13. Not too long ago, like an hour ago actually. I had pizza! (Incase u were wondering)

14. HELL YEAH!!!

15. Nope and i never want to be 😗

16. NoooooOoOoO-

17. Nope i have perfect vision muah

18. I DONT WANNA SAY TEHE! (Sry)

19. Yea ofc!!! But they probably wont turn out good…

20. Soda…. Ive never seen or heard anyone say pop before….

21. Plushies!!!! I have a unicorn plush my old friend (we dont talk anymore since she moved) gave me for my 7th bday!!!! Yes i remember when, yes i still have it! And its in perferct condition!!! Also there was this one kid who ig had a crush on my and he gave me a basket full of stuff for valentines day and i still have said basket-

22. I have no clue what this means? I guess sensitive?

23. Love it!!!!!

24. Eating :] (and joking abt pushing each other off probably/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE/JOKE)

25. Aaaa i use all of them but i use lotion most so ig lotion?

26. Idk what to say for this one aaaaaagh

27. Like 5 i think? Ive been getting better with my sleep time!!!!

28. Not anymore, our school last year said we could take them off, however i was SO insecure about my face (still am, but not as much as before) so i would wear it every single day. If i showed up to school without one people got surprised. I stopped wearing them this year, however.

29. Hot????

30. THE FUCKING WATER BOTTLES!!!!

31. Theres a lot, i dont wanna get into it 😵‍💫

32…… is that a thing? People have favorite towels??

33. Hm my school took us on a field trip to a high school so we can see animals if that counts… (i have pictures btw if u wanna see them! We saw pigs, sheep, cows and bunny! I didnt take pic of bunny tho 😢)

34. LITERALLY EVERY SIX THE MUSICAL SONG HOLY SHIT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (the only ones i might mess up on are aywd and idnyl bc aywd is long and i dont listen to idnyl often)

35. Pst!!

36. Only once! My username used to have a 0 between the words (Candied0applez) but i changed it bc it made it sound like i candied no apples… but i was originally going to be called caramelapplez but i thought candied sounded better heheh)

37. The friend i mentioned earlier i met first day of kindergarden, her name is Alana, and this other girl Maya i met before kinder! We met eachother at a park and when we walked home we found out we were neighbors so we instantly became besties! (We still are to this day but she lives 30 mins away so i dont see her often-(

38. All…?

39. Sometimes!

40. Ice cream!!!

41. Empty. Coffee is gross

42. Hahahah yt, roblox and occasionally twitter!

43. HAND IT OVER BITCH!

44. Myself/j fucking donald trump 🤮👈🖕

45. NO ☺️

46. Oh god i dont watch any 🫢

47. | v

this actually was to the other girl i mentioned earlier! Maya! I found baby pictures of us when we were in 2nd-3rd grade and i showed her today!!!

48. Never and i dont plan on ever!

49. Never tried

50. GO AHEAD I GET SO EXCITED WHEN IM TAGGED IN SOMETHING AAAAA!

omg that took forever!!! Gosh i dont mind though!!! These were fun questions! Aaaaaaaa i enjoyed that tyty!

[hyperfixatinglove]

Hey Roe! How about 🌱, 🥀, 🧾 and 🔒 from the sleepover asks? (Choose any f/os you like!)

@noire-lover Love to see you on my dash again & screaming for the name usage ♥

🌱 Who was your first F/O?

My first ever was Michelangelo from TMNT 2003 :D I was like kindergarden age when I imagined myself w him on rooftops haha. He was in my F/O list for a while but I didn't like my s/i. She was like mutated cat since Mikey is mutated turtle. I still have soft spot for him. If I could find my native dub of 2003 TMNT more easily perhaps he would still be in the list. Mikey is the reason I tend to drift towards guys with humor (like Frank West). The first F/O on my official list was Ushio of course.

🥀 Talk about some of your fictional crushes and why they aren’t your F/O!

Mentioned Mikey above so perhaps I could discuss this. I have a lot of fleeting crushes, usually from random video games I watch on YT that never make it on my f/o list. Some aren't even crushes it's just romantic interest, possibility that never goes anywhere.

Some of these for example are Joel Miller from tlou game & John Bradford from xcom 2 who's below.

Hilariously I'm sorta haunted by Troy Baker & Brian Bloom as characters they voice is someone I often find myself having minicrushes on. Both Blazkowicz & Bradford are voiced by Brian Bloom for example, but only one is on my f/o list.

🧾 What’s your favorite headcanon someone else has made about your F/O?

I usually stay far away from general fandom & for my f/os don't even have big enough fandom for me to see headcanons. However someone had headcanon made into a fic of Ushio being reincarnated over all the YGO series since he makes cameo appearance in quite many of them (GX, Zexal, Arc V to name few) and him being aware of the fact he had lived multiply lifetimes, even vaguely remembering some details. And some details staying the same like him being an ass first and then changing and being aware that it had happened before. It just seemed fascinating to me.

🔒 What does your platonic F/O think about your F/O? Are they overprotective of you?

Hakon and Deacon are definitely overprotective of me! If I had f/o from Days Gone, Deek would be the overprotective grumpy big brother type.

But I have ton of platonic f/os I don't list like entire 5ds group from YGO 5ds or Alan Wake from the same named game. I think Alan would be on guard if I ever showed him a bf - he's keeping an eye on them, maybe talking about it with Alice who gently laughs it off and calls her husband paranoid.

Vergil would "warn" me about Jesse, how closed off and intimidating he is and asking if I'm sure and would be nervous while tinkering with his projects for Rentier Institute. He just wants me to be safe & he has nothing againt Jesse himself, but he can be off putting & appear like a brute.

T-Bone and Clara would be hilarious if I'd ever tell them I date Aiden. T-Bone would just laugh like I made the biggest joke and then say "I hope you know what you're doing" while Clara just cocks an eyebrow silently. Later T-Bone would call Aiden and kinda give him the threat call cause "She's damn civilian Aiden! What the fuck are you thinking?!". He would get fellow hacker as someone to date, but hates civilians getting involved since the incident with Blume & his own hacking in 2003

Jason Kolchek would hilarious. He and Eric aren't that close & Jason doesn't have the highest opinion of his ex-Colonel so he simply doesn't understand just what can I see in him. It's like him with women, do not compute (Jason's def gay ok) so sometimes he says something brutal and Salim will soften it and I'm just baffled.

[sadistic-softie]

Sometimes I need to stop, take a step back, and ask myself, "Am I ok?" and the answer is always, "uuhh?????????"

therapy gets so repetative and exhausting. When am i gonna move on from complaining about the same problems actually get to the helping part? And how many therapists is it gonna take before I get there? I'm on number...7??? 8? 9???? and i hate that every single one of them has been like, ~most therapists go through the notes and records of the patients health conditions and past sessions with other therapists, but I don't like to do that here. I like to start clean and fresh with each patient so I can hear it from them. I have your chart and all your info here, but i just wanna hear if from you~. Because im so cool and all the other therapists suck mega penis~ Like stfu and please read my chart for the love of god i dont need to go through hours of sessions of straight miserable traumadumping every single time i get disconnected from a therapist and have to spend 5 months on the waiting list for a new one. And it's so easy to just get dropped by therapists too. I missed 2 appointments ever? gone. Therapist suddenly vanished from the establishment? We can't replace them! find a whole new place! Your new therapist sucks and just tells you to get over it? Give us a month and we'll see if we can find someone else for you. oopsies! your therapist got fired! Nothing we can do about that! Your therapist forced you into a situation that she knew would put you in danger of abuse? It was her job! FUCK. I literally get better therapy from calling 988, crisis lines, or abuse hotlines for 10 minutes and they're free. Might as well just call THEM on a weekly basis since they ACTUALLY FUCKING HELP YOU WHEN YOU ASK FOR FUCKING HELP. They give you advice, comfort, support, coping mechanisms, distractions, suggestions, resources, ideas, communities, etc etc. Seriously. Therapy, in all my years, barely ever does that shit unless you're on the brink of breakdown because "why is nothing working!?" nothing's working because it's literally nothing being put to work. They're putting nothing machines in your brain factory, and when 'NOTHING' is working, no progress gets made.

Honestly. Sometimes, I feel like maybe I'm just really unlucky with my therapists. I be spilling my soul to them and begging for help and they're just like. "Hmmm...that does seem very difficult...What do you think I can do to help you?" and i just...like..."I don't know??? im not really a mental health specialist??? Like you??????" and they fucking laugh and go, "Well, that is true...hmmmmm, let me think...you seem to be doing everything you cannnn...hmmmm" God, i never show it but tht shit pisses me off so bad. The more times i hear "What do you think i can do to help?" and "Hmmmmmmm" and overly fucking drawn out words, the more 'asshole' and ingenuine it sounds. It sounds like mockery. It sounds like they think I'm a toddler trying to figure out how to manuver their first 4 piece puzzle. They sound like when teachers say "I dunno. Can you?" when you ask if you can use the restroom. Like...Do you think I'm fucking around when I say I don't know what to do? Do you think I just ask for help for shits and giggles? Do you think, "I'm feeling suicidal" is just a quirky little catchphrase? Like, fuck. Just listen to one fucking thing I say. I pay you for this. Just fucking listen to me and hear the words coming out of my mouth and process what they actually fucking mean. I fucking have nobody else and I'm paying you to help me not fucking kill myself and you're gonna fucking sit there, eating cereal, talking about how your 'poor husband' was so shy "just like me" that he didn't make the first move on you when you first met, like this session is about comparing my socially crippling mental condition to a common case of the nerves, acting like you're my casual best friend or acting like this is me learning 2 plus fucking 2 in kindergarden math class with god damn counting blocks and you don't wanna give me too many hints that give the answer away. FUCK. OFF. No fucking wonder your other patients cuss you out. I bet they're soooo lucky to have you like you're sooo lucky that im so god damn polite and articulate. You like that im so articulate, huh? You really get what im saying? How about this next one?: QUIT YOUR JOB.

[radishgirlsenpai]

tw vent, racism, mention of suicidal thoughts

This happened two days ago, but I'm still so fucking angry I have to write this down. We are european, btw and very much white.

My grandma, my dad, and my mom's cousin came over to have dinner with me and my sister because mom is out of town. And afterwards, they were just talking. I wasn't completely paying attention, and then I hear my grandma use the n-word.

Now we had this conversation before. I know she doesn't mean it derogatory, but still, I tell her she's not supposed to say that. To which my father responds, "If he can't say the n-word, why can they call him white?", which any normal person knows these words are in no way equivalent.

I tell him this, to what he responds with going off on a tangent about how you can't say white man anymore and that there are ai tools that, if you ask them to generate pictures of any kind of people they are always gonna be poc even if it's historically inaccurate and if you specifically ask for white men it tells you they can't do that.

At that point I left, because I knew continuing to argue would be pointless, and staying would be worse for my mental state. But I did look up what he was talking about, and everyone...

He was talking about googles gemini ai that was SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED to be more inclusive and ad "divers", "black", "south asian", "female" or "non-binary" to your search. He was literally complaining about not being able to buy clothes in a fucking soup store.

And the thing that made the angriest what that the whole argument pretty much started out with "don't be mean to other people". I mean for fucks sake you learn this shit in kindergarden.

I haven't talked to them since and I'm not planning to until I'm hearing a genuine apology.

I already struggle with believing being alive is worth it, and that trying to help others has a point. Hearing shit like this from my own family is not fucking helping. Apologies for this rather long rant.

[mylifeisadeceit]

Would Rick shades find himself comfortable at his new job?

Ok so he only knows how to make friends in the most twisted way OR like a kindergarden kid.

He doesn't have any technical expertise and he'll work in research and development.

That means that If he becomes friend with everyone in his department he could do their job alone basically because he would retain all of their information.

Now, for a mundie knowing that even their hard work could be stolen by an epithet user... I don't think they would like that. And Naven's is mostly mundies so......

And even if yes, he has knowledge of ocean country it's not like they would be able to expand their target to them... I think. And as said he doesn't have any technical expertise, I'm positive he doesn't know anything about technology and if he did it's long gone as soon as he went away from ocean country.

Even if he could bring a different prospective he's also kinda.... Bad at talking.

So

Unless people at Naven's company are like!!! Friendly!!!!! Or our guy is fucked.

On the other and I think pheenica would recommend for him to join them in speech classes! He really needs 'em

[matryosika]

Selfish

pairing — dom!changbin x sub!reader

word count — 6.4 k

ratings — 18+

genre — angst and smut, probably a bit of fluff at the end

warnings — mentions of alcohol and toxic relationships. themes of possessiveness, jealousy and heartbreak; rough explicit sex, oral (m and f), use of petnames, slight humilliation, reader is slapped in the face once, face-fucking, submission, angry sex, creampie, unprotected sex, slight sir kink, edging and slight overstimulation. I think that’s pretty much it!

you didn’t expect to see him at all. not now, not ever.

but changbin was there, holding a beer with one hand and his cigarette with the other. looking directly at you, trying to guess all the mixtures of feelings you were experiecing at that moment just by his unexpected presence.

he always loved that about you, how hard you were to read. you were a very expressive person, you would cry and laugh with no remorse, but absolutely no one could tell how your mind worked. that was something that excited him, making you seem like a riddle he had to guess. maybe that was the reason why he approached you first at that college party you almost refused to go around this time two years ago. maybe it was that, or how captivating you were to his eyes. either way, if only you hadn’t attend… it would have saved you so much pain, chaos and suffering.

on the opposite side, changbin wasn’t that hard to read. he always came across as a mysterious kind of guy, but after hanging out with him a couple of times you realized that there was not much to understand about him. he was a man in his twenties, eager to experience the good things in life, someone a bit proud and with a god complex sometimes… nothing you hadn’t encounter before in your years of adolescence. or so you thought.

after both of you started to sleep together, it was changbin’s idea to set a couple of rules in an attempt to make the relationship “safer and healthier”. you never thought about it at first, but the fact that he was the one who actually suggested those fucking rules meant that he always knew what he wanted out of you.

changbin always liked being in control of you. not only sexually, but he would often show his dominance through simple daily things. he was like that, and it was one of the very first things that made you fall completely in love with him. but sadly, after one night out with your friends at the wrong place, you realized that the only one who has head over heals for someone was you.

instead of making a scene, or even attempt to reach out for him and talk about what exactly made you feel wrong about watching him make out with 2 other woman at the same time in that sketchy bar, you decided that some things were just better to left unsaid. he broke one of the rules he set, and you were damn sure that this was not the first time he did something similar.

so after a night of thinking, drinking and crying, you did what you thought was best. this decisión was not only going to help you in terms of handling your emotions and clearing your mind, but it was also going to hit changbin’s achilles heel: losing control. besides, moving out of busan was something that you always wanted to do, but for one reason or another you could never actually accomplish that goal and this was the perfect excuse to actually do something about it now.

chaeryeong, your red-headed best friend since kindergarden, welcomed you to her apartment in incheon with loving arms. she left busan right after finishing college and you actually thought about leaving with her but you were too scared of changes and ended up staying in your home-city. after arriving to Incheon, you deleted your social media and changed your phone number (something too dramatic for your own liking, but you truly wanted to be incommunicated with him for good), settled there and got a job as a counsellor at an elementary school that was located a few blocks from your apartment.

everything happened last year and, so far, things were great. you thought about changbin every once in a while, but you also knew that you were almost completely over any feelings you once had for him. you were still not ready to be in a relationship, but you had some casual encounters ocasionally. everything was going great until now, that he was standing right in front of you, uninvited to the birthday party chaeryeong threw for you at her boyfriend’s, seungmin, apartment.

trying to abruptly finish off the awkward eye contact, you turned around and headed right to the bathroom to clear your mind and try to reorganize your thoughts. it was going to be a hard task though, since the whole place was filled with loud music and, on top of that, your body was still trying to deal with the shock it caused you just by seeing him standing there.

why was he there? wasn’t he supposed to be at busan? how did he find out you were now living in incheon? no, how did he find out the exact location where someone was throwing you a birthday party? there was no solid reason, besides him being a proud bitch, for traveling more than 300 kilometers only to pull this type of shit.

you tried to do those breathing excersises you use when children were having panic attacks at the elementary school, but your heart kept beating even faster.

“this shit isn’t working” you mumbled to yourself. you felt like a mess but your appearance overall seemed collected. at least you weren’t in the brink of crying.

after a few seconds and some knocking sounds followed by a “i need to use the bathroom, pleeeeeeease” coming from the other side of the door, you decided to leave the small room. walking as quickly as you could to the kitchen, trying to avoid any eye contact with anyone, you reached out for the first bottle of alcohol you could find there and proceeded to drink as much as your body allowed you to.

your throat and esophagus burned like hell and you were not too fond of alcohol, but there was no way you could deal with this situation sober.

“having fun?” someone muttered in your ear after you rested the bottle on the table and you immediately recognized the voice: it was bangchan, one of seungmin’s friends. you knew him since highschool, but he left busan right before starting college.

“it could be better” you replied “you know i never like to celebrate my birthday”

he pouted while taking the tequila bottle out of your hands, only to pour some of the liquid into a red solo cup for him. “not every day someone turns 21, you know?”

“it’s not a big deal” he returned the bottle to you and, once again, you drank some more of it. “i barely know half of the people here”

“well, chaeryeong was nice enough to throw a birthday party for you and we all helped her to decorate the place because we love you so much” you gave him a faint smile, but deep down you knew he wasn’t lying. you were never good with friendships, but ever since you moved you’ve met amazing and loving people. “is there anything i could do to make this party more enjoyable?”

-i’m sorry for what i’m about to do chan- you thought to yourself, the alcohol now starting to bring out the bitterness out of you, and proceeded to grab his hand to guide him. “let’s go, i love this song”

your eyes quickly scanned the whole living room, but you couldn’t find him anywhere. what if your mind was playing games? what if it was someone that looked like him but you were too distracted in your own thoughts that just went with the idea that it was, in fact, changbin?

either way, from one moment to another, you were now moving along chan’s body to a chase atlantic song in the center of the living room. trying to push all the thoughts that were flooding in your mind, you decided to just enjoy the moment with him. besides… he was attractive as hell, shit, no one could deny it.

his hands were gently pressing both sides of your hips, slowly grinding on your ass with slow and delicate movements. you must admit that your intentions with him at first were childish and wicked, but now the whole thing wasn’t that bad of an idea. you were used to have sex as a coping mechanism when you felt stressed or angry, so it wasn’t really a surprise that your sex drive was on the roof at that exact moment and the only thing you needed right now was to be fucked.

after a couple of songs fooling around and constantly flirting with chan, you were completely sure you needed to end up at his place, preferably in his bed, under him. but those thoughts were quickly disrupted when you felt someone grabbing you by your forearm.

“i’m sorry” a man’s voice stated, “i kind of need to give the birthday girl her present now”

your mind wasn’t playing you tricks this time. it was changbin, he was there. but before you could move or say anything, chan was quick to confront him.

“whatever you want to give her, you can give it in front of me” and for a moment you felt true horror inside you. knowing that changbin was a very impulsive person, he wouldn’t hesitate to start a physical fight with chan and the last thing you wanted was to attract any attention and ruin your best friend’s boyfriend apartment.

“chan, it’s okay” you mumbled “he is just an old friend”

chan licked his lips in disapproval, almost as if he didn’t believe what you were saying. “i’ll be around”

with that being said, changbin dragged you out of the party and into his car, that was parked exactly in front of the complex. he didn’t say a word; neither did you, and that terrified the shit out of you but, for some reason, you felt the need and curiosity to find out what this was all about.

he didn’t start the car, he just sat there; heavy breathing, without even looking at you.

“you had enough fun today” changbin muttered “i’m taking you home”

you were starting to feel dizzy. what the fuck was this all about? he magically shows up to a birthday party that was located 300 kilometers away from him after being incomunicated for over a year now, and not only that but he cockblocked you big time only to drag you into his car and tell you that it was time to leave your own party because “you had too much fun”. oh, and let’s not ignore the fact that there was no possible way on earth that he even guessed which city you moved to, was he stalking you now?. everything happened too fast that you almost felt like passing out right there in his car seat.

“i need your address, y/n” his voice was deeper than before, you could say that it was even colder now. from his body language, you could tell that he was relaxed but his voice was contradictory to this.

“you broke up one rule” it was all you could answer.

“that’s not your address baby” he hissed, passing you his phone so you could type it on the maps app.

with shaky hands and strangled breath you typed your apartment’s address. luckily for you, chaeryeong was going to stay at seungmin’s tonight like she used to every weekend but you were still worried that she would be looking for you everywhere.

you returned the phone to changbin and pulled out yours, only to find more than 30 messages from the red-headed herself.

[12:23 Lee Chaeryeong <3]

are you okay?

chan told me you left with someone

it was him right?

y/n

[12:27 Lee Chaeryeong <3]

i’m sorry, i think one of seungmin’s friends who recently moved from busan and knew changbin told him about you living here

he was asking questions

i think that’s how he found out

where are you?

[12:29 y/n ]

I’m okay chae, he was going to find out sooner or later

a lot of his friends live here now

i’m heading home

after sending the last message, you locked your phone and set your eyes on the road. your apartment wasn’t far from seungmin’s, it was like 8 minutes away. changbin never spoke a word, the only thing you could hear was the voice of his cellphone giving directions and the ocasional traffic sounds.

the walk to your apartment was exactly the same as the car ride, both of you were quiet but only one of you was feeling extremely nervous and, spoiler alert: it wasn’t changbin.

you opened the door and he signaled you to go in before him, quietly shutting the door locked right after he entered the place. he walked through the small living room you shared with chae and, as you were turning the lights on, he rested his weight on the couch. you just stood there, with your arms crossed and a clearly confused look on your face.

“what are you doing here?”

“well, it is your birthday” the dark-haired smirked “is it wrong of me to visit a dear old friend for her birthday?”

“how did you found out about me living in incheon?”

“right” he pondered “why is that relevant? were you trying to hide from me?”

“not really” you answered with a defensive tone “i just didn’t wanted to have anything to do with you anymore”

“you know.. you didn’t have to delete all your social media, change your phone number and move to another city just because of that, kitten” you could see how his proud smirk grew bigger and bigger after you talked. he was enjoying this, it made him feel important.

“since it was just a little game for you i thought it wouldn’t have mattered if i dissappeared from busan”

with slow movements, he got up from the couch and approached you, making you walk backwards until your back met the cold door of your apartment. shit.

“all i’m hearing is that you did this out of revenge” changbin laughed, a genuine laugh as if the whole issue was a funny joke to him. “you wanted to hurt me, didn’t you?”

“i just wanted to cut ties off with you”

he clicked his tongue, now getting dangerously close to you. his scent, mixed with the faint smell of cigarette and mint, was quick to flood your senses making you feel extremely weak.

“you are such a liar y/n” his lips grazed yours in a swift movement, sending shivers throughout your whole body. you were eager to feel his tongue against yours, but the mixture of ambivalent emotions wouldn’t allow you to submit that easy.

“you broke a rule” you grunted, again. the rule in question was actually suggested by him -we can’t see anyone else as long as we are fucking- but, ironically, he was the first one to ignore it. you caught him in what looked like a fucking threeway once, but god knows how many times he did it before.

“and you didn’t broke any rule princess, mhm?” changbin hissed, lazily dragging his hands up and down the sides of your body. one of his legs parted yours, making your core be in direct contact with his thigh. it was such a bad idea to wear this fucking dress. “look into my eyes and tell me that you didn’t broke any of the rules we established”

his gaze was staring right through your soul and you swore that, in any other situation, you could cum only with the slightest touch from him as long as you two were making eye contact. but since you didn’t gave him an answer like he wanted, he was quick to flex his muscles on his thigh, making your hips involuntary grind against him.

“you fell in love with me” he teased “wasn’t that a rule, y/n?”

you bit your lower lip, trying to hold back your whines. deep down, both of you knew the obvious thing but you were not ready to admit it just yet.

his hands traveled all the way to the bottom of your short dress and peeked into your soaked underwear, getting sighs out of you.

“have you forgotten how to behave with your man, kitten?” he inquired with a sarcastic tone, the use of the petname making you wet your clothes even more “if i ask something, you answer”

his digits traced the outline of your folds through your damped panties and that was the only thing that took to lose all control of yourself. your core painfully clenched around absolutely nothing and you just couldn’t hold back your whines anymore. that was your downfall: the power he still hold over you.

“look at me” he demanded, with one hand resting on your wet clothed core and the other one on your chin. “after all this time, you are still willing to submit only for me because i’m the only man who can make you feel this good, y/n”

you swallowed thickly, not wanting to say anything in response to feed his ego even more. all you wanted was for him to wreck you completely, the last thing being you engaging in a conversation with him while your pussy was dripping and making a mess on his fingers.

“now tell me” changbin mumbled, dragging your underwear to your ankles so your core was left completely exposed for him. the position was rather uncomfortable, since both of you were standing up and your back was still pressed against the door, but you were too out of your mind to even care about those details. “have you missed me?”

you licked your lips and tried to come up with an answer that wouldn’t make him smirk. the last thing you wanted was to show more your vulnerability to the first reason of why you were actually vulnerable.

“well” you muttered in between sighs “i’ve found good fucks around incheon. i don’t really have time to think about past lovers”

“really?” he teased and, without any warning, he pumped two of his fingers inside your warm hole. you could talk all you wanted, but your body sold you every single time. “did they fuck you good, princess?”

“so good” you moaned “if it weren’t for you, i bet i would be getting fucked dumb by chan right now”

his pace increased, making your legs quivering and your words started to come out incomplete.

“it always amazes me how much of a liar you are, baby” changbin groaned in your ear and the sound of his voice, along with the sinful noises that his fingers made with your core only turned you even more. “i bet everytime you fucked with someone else, you wished it was me who was deep inside you”

“don’t think so highly of yourself, changbin” you moaned, feeling pathetic at how you were trying so hard to keep your pride but how your body just wouldn’t cooperate with your mind. “i hardly ever thought about you since I left busan”

Changbin chuckled, decreasing the rhythm at which his fingers fucked your tight hole. “no, y/n. you are the one who shouldn’t be thinking so highly of herself” with a twist of his fingers and pushing a bit more deep, changbin hit that sweet spot of yours that made you go completely feral. “i know that after hanging out with those bastards every weekend you would return home and touch yourself while thinking about me, moaning my name and begging for me to come and ruin you completely”

your rolled your eyes with every thrust of changbin’s digits inside you. trying to prove him wrong but you couldn’t even formulate a coherent sentence. the pleasure was too overwhelming and you were embarrassed about the fact that it was only going to take him a minute or two for you to come undone on his hand.

“see, y/n?” he whispered into your ear “you can run away all you want, but your body still knows who does it belong to. just look how much of a mess you are for me baby”

the undeniable knot was already feeling too strong on your abdomen, your legs could barely support all your weight and drops of sweat were starting to form on your forehead and nape. you were close, but you knew that one of changbin’s rules was to ask permission before cuming.

“i know you are close kitten” he grunted desperately against your neck, contributing even more to the heat in your core “but you know the rules”

“fuck off” you muttered in a strangled moan, only to whine after feeling changbin’s fingers withdraw from your pussy. the tears of frustration started to form in the corners of your eyes, but a sudden slap to your right cheek made you snapped out of your thoughts.

“say that again” he was now mad. of course he was, all you did was tease him since you got to your apartment. but that wasn’t what made him angry, it was the lack of control over you he was now facing what he didn’t like.

for a moment, the submissive part of you wanted to give in and apologize. but you couldn’t do that too easily, not just yet.

“i said fuck-” and without even letting you finish your sentence, he pulled you by your hair making you fall into your knees, eye level to his crotch.

“it’s such a pity you are using that pretty mouth to be a fucking brat” with one hand he continued to grip your hair in a sort-of-messy ponytail, while his available one was unbuttoning his black pants.

and there it was, what you had been craving for a whole year. some of the things he said earlier were true, but you would never admit them. in more than one occasion you found yourself masturbating just by the thought of giving him a blowjob, or by remembering how it felt when he cummed down your throat and how good he tasted.

“open up” he ordered. and your body naturally followed his command, as if the only purpose of you being alive was to satisfy him. with a rough thrust, his cock met the back of your throat making you gag over his length. tears were quick to start running through your rosy cheeks, ruining your make up even more than before. “you have taken me before, I know you can do more princess”

changbin’s cock was thick, it took you a few months to actually learn how to take it. after a year of not practicing, of course the task was going to be hard.

“the other cocks you fucked didn’t fill you up enough right?” he pouted, trying his best to suppress any lustful sounds that could escape his mouth. “look how much of a mess you are making around my cock”

drool was dripping into your chest and getting lost in the curve of your breasts. he was right, you were a mess. your dress was completely out of his place, your soaked panties were probably somewhere in the living room floor, your hair was messy and your makeup was completely ruined from gagging and whining around him. but you knew that he was only getting started and he wouldn’t stop until he made sure you learned some sort of lesson from this.

“take off your dress for me, princess”

for a moment, he let go of the hold on your hair to give you some space for undressing. all that was left was your black laced bra, one of changbin’s personal favorites. “take that off too”

now you were completely naked and on your knees in front of him. changbin, on the other hand, was completely dressed up with only his cock exposed. for some reason, that made you feel humilliated and you would be lying if you said it didn’t make you wetter.

without warning, changbin grabbed your hair and slammed his cock deep inside your mouth again. his pace was rough and somewhat aggressive, but it wasn’t fast. he knew that if he wanted to torture you, he should go slow.

“look at me, y/n” you tried to open your eyes, but with every thrust he gave you it was impossible to not roll your eyes to the back of your head. still, you tried your best to look at him with teary eyes and God, how much you liked that view. “touch yourself for me”

since he was face-fucking you, you were able to slip your hand to your throbbing cunt and started to rub your clitoris slowly. you had almost reached your orgasm a few moments ago, so you knew that if you went faster it would only take you a couple of seconds to finish.

“faster” he demanded “and look at me, I won’t repeat myself again”

there was so much going on, having to maintain eye contact with him while he completely abused your mouth and you were touching yourself… it was all too much to handle.

“i wish you could see how pathetic you look right now, y/n” changbin moaned with heavy breaths “moaning against my cock while you touch yourself… such a pretty dumb baby”

his last sentence was the trigger of the knot in your stomach coming undone. you didn’t even ask for permission, and even if you wanted to, the orgasm was too desperate and intense that you wouldn’t been able to hold it. as fast as changbin noticed you were cuming around your fingers, he took his cock out of your mouth and, while grabbing your hair, he leaned down a bit to be at the same height as you were.

“my dumb dumb baby” changbin cooed, just as you were reaching the highest point of your orgasm “how does it make you feel knowing that you came this hard while having my cock inside that pretty mouth of yours?” he laughed, mocking you “i bet you are not feeling so proud now, are you? after your juices soaked your pretty fingers while I was deep deep inside you baby”.

you felt pathetic. everything you did last year to run away from him out of pride was now thrown away just because you needed to feel the euphoria of an orgasm. you hated him, but deep down you knew that he was the only one who could every match your sexual fantasies and you needed him more than ever.

“stand up” with trembling legs, you stood up from the floor and changbin dragged you carefully into your room, gently pushing you to your bed. with graceful movements, he removed all of his clothing while your legs were spreading in front of him with your pussy completely exposed.

fuck, how you liked his body. his caramel skin and his big tattoo on his chest was one of the things that turned you the most about him but, after a year, you had almost completely forgot how changbin was in all his glory. if this was the last time you were actually going to fuck with him, you wanted to imprint all those views in your memory.

he leaned down and took you completely under him, supporting his weight with his forearm so your body wouldn’t end up crushed by him.

and for the first time in the whole night, he kissed you.

it was a desperate, sloppy and aggressive kiss. if you had to compare it with a familiar feeling, you would say it felt as if you were underwater for a while and this was the very first time you were allowed to swim to the surface to catch some air. and as much as you didn’t want to think about it, you could feel how needy and desperate changbin was for you too.

“since you won’t admit it because you are a proud fucking brat” changbin groaned in between kisses “i will be the one to accept that this whole time i missed you so fucking much”

your heart skipped a beat after his confession, and you didn’t like that.

“god, you had no idea how many times I had to masturbate by thinking of you” his kisses were now traveling from your neck to your breasts, biting and marking any space of skin he could “the mere thought of you fucking with someone else made me lose my senses”

changbin used his fingers to play with your hardened nipples, making your body twist under him. it was all too much, his touch, his kisses, his words… your mind couldn’t process half of the things that were happening but it felt good. submitting to him felt good.

“you are mine” he mumbled, dragging his lips across your skin, licking and biting every now and then “your body is mine to use and your holes are mine to fill. act all proud but you know that at the end of the day you belong to me and all you want me to do is to fucking ruin and take care of you like the pretty princess you are”

his mouth was now dangerously close to your core, and all you wanted was for him to make contact with it. as if he was reading your thoughts, his head got lost in between your thighs, and you inhaled strongly when you felt his hot breathe getting closer to your heat. “it has been so long since the last time I tasted you, y/n”

his tongue finally grazed your folds, making you emit a high-pitched moan which made changbin moan. as if he was an expert, he began to eat you out with passion, rubbing your clit with his thumb and making you arch your back.

“changbin” you moaned, grabbing his hair in an attempt to pull him even closer to your pussy “god changbin, you make me feel so good”

a proud smile appeared on his lips, and you knew what exactly that meant.

“is that so?” he softly inquired. his fingers made their way into your core, and his tongue was now paying full attention to your clit. “tell me baby, tell me how you belong to me”

the pleasure build up quicker than you expected, making you lose all grip you had on your pride. “you make me feel so good, sir”

and just by addressing him with that name, changbin knew that you were completely submitted to him.

“i touched myself every night wishing it was your cock using my holes” you admitted inbetween moans, trying to speak as clear as the pleasure allowed you to. “everytime I came, all I could moan was your name”

changbin’s grunts against your core only made the knot on your stomach tighter, and you knew the second orgasm of the night was approaching at a faster pace than the last one.

“changbin” you screamed, grinding your body against his mouth. “sir i-”

“hold it” changbin demanded. he reincorporated his body so that he was closer to yours. his fingers never stopped fucking into your hole at a steady pace, watching how much you struggled to be obedient.

“sir” you whined with tears streaming down your face.

“not yet” the pleasure was too rough for you to handle. it was almost impossible to hold it for more than 10 seconds and, by your body language, you knew he understood that. a sinful scream left your lips and changbin realized that you were too close to the edge now. “you can cum for me princess”

and just with his authorization, you felt your juices dripping out onto your thighs and the mattress.

“thank you sir, thank you, thank you, thank you” was all you could moan and scream while you were reaching your high. pathetic, you thought, but you were in fact thankful for your orgasm.

as you were coming down from your high, changbin planted a kiss to your forehead and proceeded to swipe away the tears of frustration from your face.

“see how good I can make you feel if you behave for me princess?” changbin muttered to your left ear. even though this was only your second orgasm, you felt like anything else would come across overestimulation. you felt tired and sleepy, but at the same time you still were missing the thing you wanted the most: the feeling of him inside you.

with delicacy, changbin positioned himself inbetween your legs. he knew how weak your body was after 2 intense orgasms and he didn’t actually wanted to hurt you, so he was being careful with every movement he made.

“i know you can take one more orgasm baby” changbin moaned, feeling the tip of his cock rubbing against your folds. “i know you need me inside you just as much as I need to feel you clenching desperately around my cock”

“sir please” was all the words you could articulate.

changbin made sure you were wet enough to take him and proceeded to thrust his length into you. the feeling of him stretching your walls was familiar, but at the same time you could hardly deal with it since it had been a while since the last time he fucked you.

“does it hurt, princess?” he asked, slowly thrusting into you so you could get used to him again. “fuck, you are even more tight than I remember baby”

his fingers grabbed your hips, guiding your movements so the feeling could get more intense. a high whine escape your lips when changbin’s cock immediately touched your sweet spot, and he was quick to notice this.

“look how well I know your body” his growls and moans were starting to become more and more frequent, and he didn’t even bothered to hide them anymore. “you take me so well every time, I bet no one can make you feel like I do”

and he was right. his cock reached all the spots that made you completely vulnerable in front of him, his hands knew where and what to touch, his lips knew how to mark you properly and his words knew how exactly make you submit to him. changbin had complete control over you, something no one else could achieve.

“changbin” you moaned, occasionally scratching his back with your nails in an attempt to hold onto something “fuck, i am all yours sir”

those words were like the magic password changbin needed to increase the pace of his thrusts and, with every thrust, he repeatedly reached that spot where you needed him the most.

“i know princess” changbin lifted his weight a little bit to be able to see your full face and chest. “even if you are too proud to admit it, i know you belong to me. i know you are my precious possession, and by how hard you are clenching around me I can tell how much you enjoy it.”

his thrusts started to lose rhythm and became sloppier, announcing that changbin was near his high. “i belong to you changbin” you moaned, grabbing his neck and pulling him for a kiss. the sinful noises that left his mouth were now incredibly loud, assuring you that his orgasm was near.

“fuck I-”

“cum inside me sir” you plead, whining against his lips “i need you to fill me up completely, please changbin, please cum inside me”

and without any hesitation, changbin stuffed two of his fingers into your mouth, drowning your moans by making you suck on them.

“look how good I’m filling both of your holes” he groaned, getting closer and closer to his release “you are so good for me baby, taking me so well” and as your knot was tightening in your stomach, you felt how changbin approached his high.

“you are fucking mine and no one else’s” and after feeling the warmth of his cum inside you, your third orgasm of the night hit you abruptly.

after catching your breath, changbin got up to clean you up and then layed down beside you and hold you in his embrace. you were too tired and sleepy to even try to process the situation, all you wanted to do was rest.

your whole body was hurting from the previous rough sex, but your heart and mind were also confused and in pain. I’ll deal with this mess tomorrow, you thought, falling asleep in his arms.

“I’m sorry if I caused you any pain” changbin whispered, but to his luck you were already sleeping peacefully “I couldn’t stand the fact that you fell for someone like me when you deserve so much more. I did what I had to do to keep my distance from you because I was only going to cause you trouble, but I am too selfish.” and with a heavy sigh, he finally said the three words he was the most afraid of.

“i love you, i’m sorry”

……..

the confusion and lack of heat made you open your eyes almost immediately: you were alone and naked on your bed. with quick gaze you searched throughout the whole room, but there was no sign of changbin anywhere.

was it a dream? did I drink too much last night and everything was just part of my imagination? why did he left without saying anything?

you reincorporated into your bed and quickly felt how the tears in your eyes were threatening to come down your face. he left. again. like he always used to.

you were now hating yourself for not having the slightest bit of self control. you hated yourself because you spent a whole year trying to forget him and just when you thought you succeed, he came back and prove you wrong, that there was no one like him for you.

with slow movements you managed to get closer to your night table, where your phone was supposed to be. but instead, you found a note folded resting there.

“i can’t stand being apart from you anymore, but I also can’t force you to stay with me if I cause you pain and suffering. i can’t be selfish to you, not this time. I love you, and if you are willing to let me love you the way I know I can do it, you know where to find me. please, y/n, find me”

and just like that, you were back to square one.

[lilallama]

Okay so I was wondering how would Jeongguk and the other clubs would react to y/n somehow finding out he was their childhood friend? Like they looked through a photo album or sm (Btw I love your blog 💜)

a/n: I might do a 'what's in my bag' post with all the cc members. Also, the occult, drama and martial arts clubs aren't officially open, but I still decided to include them here.

I also have a new idea for Jk. His charackter will stay mostly the same, but I thought about an explanation why he is the way he is. With that I mean his impulsive behaviour, lack of remorse, temper tantrums, general disregard of other people, etc. Remember to please correct me if I say anything false!

I picture he has ASPD, or antisocial personality disorder. That doesn't mean that he doesn't like people or is shy, but that he feels little to no empathy towards the people around him. He has bad temper, acts impulsively and often irrationally, has violent outbursts, disregards other people's safety as well as his own, acts agressive and irresponsible, repeatedly broke the law and most of all, feels no remorse for anything. There's a lot more to it, but you get the gist. His father has the same thing, he inherited it. That means his genes are naturally vulnerable to that disorder, but how he was treated as a child was the trigger to develop it himself.

None of the clubs know that Jeongguk and Y/n were actually childhood friends. Jeongguk knows that Y/n forgot, but instead of reminding them he just blames their parents. It hasn't crossed his mind that he could just, you know, talk with Y/n. Like a normal person. The reason why he hasn't told the others is that they would probably take his precious memories away from him. According to club rule 3 ("All information concerning Y/n must immediately be reported to the club leader.") and rule 4 ("Every Y/n souvenir officially belongs to all club members and will not be kept for personal use.") Jeongguk already broke not one but two rules! That would mean he'd be punished, and he's not too eager to give up his box. He keeps a box underneath his bed. It's filled with photos of Y/n, old pictures they drew together, their first lost teeth, strands of their hair in small ziptie-bags (one strand from kindergarden, one from middle school and one from highschool), their old notebook full of doodles and secret conversations they'd have during class, his new notebook in whixh he wrote down everything about Y/n (all their passwords, address, their friends address' and names, who they've talked to etc.), their middle school diary and, of course, the pair of keys that they dropped (in his mind they're officially his now. The neighbour's even think he's Y/n's boyfriend). He's not going to give all these treasures up.

But if they somehow did find out, oh boy! Firstly, it's unlikely that they would've found out throgh a photo album, since Y/n's parents weren't so fond of Jeongguk and he never brought Y/n anywhere close to his parents. If they'd find his secret box, he'd get punished for withholding information. But let's say, they find out because Y/n found an old class picture from kindergarden and showed Hoseok. Then Y/n realised, that little boy who was clinging to them looked awfully familiar. They knew he was their best friend, until they moved. So they began to think; dark fluffy hair, big doe eyes, that recognisable smile, that bad temper and violent outbursts that contradicted with his softness towards them- Oh shit! That's Jeongguk! The boy who's dad was a serial killer, the next killer-to-be, that's why their parents didn't want him around them. Immediately they shared their thought with Hoseok who froze. His cheery smile turning stiff as he clenched his first, hoping Y/n wouldn't know. That little fucking brat. No way he forgot that, he just didn't want to tell them anything.

But after hearing they haven't really talked since they were five, he calmed down a bit. The club would bombard him with questions, asking what they were like back then. They definitely wanted to see pictures, but he'd deny that he has any. Their parents wanted to 'sabotage their love', he was never interested in his parents and they were both too young own an actual camera. The club let's it slide since it's pretty plausible.

If Y/n would not initiate anything with Jeongguk, everything would continue as before. But if they would try to spend more time with Jeongguk, the other members would start hogging Jeongguk. As much as they don't want to spend more time together than necessary, they couldn't just invite themselves to a hangout that Y/n planned. That would be against the club rules ("No member can initiate any activities with Y/n, except for the leader.") They also aren't allowed to deny Y/n's requests, but it wasn't Jeongguk denying their request, the other members just lied and dragged him away, literally.

For the other clubs, the skate and newspaper club wouldn't really care. The gardening club already knew because 1) they're fucking super spies (not literally yet) and 2) Chaeyoung was in the same class as them (in kindergarden, elementary school, middle school abd now high school, but Y/n never noticed her). The art club would fid it so cool. Both of them were best friends, they want to be Y/n's best friends too! The drama club would do a whole background check on Jeongguk, abd then never let Y/n near him because he fucking beat up people. The kam club would be shocked that that brat forced poor, innocent Y/n to be his friend. But as long as Y/n doesn't initiate anything, they won't either. The martial arts club would probably feel like keeping Jk farther away from Y/n now. What if he takes advantage of them, or puts them in danger! The occult club guaranteed already knew, they know everything. Breefly considered cursing Jk, but decided against it. More effort than it's worth.

[thebiggestfan1]

Are you in town? - Matthew Tkachuk (part 1)

part two here

part three here

word count: 1860 words

TW: language, angst (?)

let me know if you want part two, I’m somehow still not sure

...

It was so hot that day. The movers were already gone, the place feeling empty without all the furniture. In a few hours, you'd be long gone, flying far away from Chesterfield.

Some small part of you felt sorry for selling your parents' house - the house you spent your whole childhood living in. But they moved out a few years ago and told you many times they didn't mind at all selling it.

Wiping the sweat off of your eyebrows you made your way through the blooming garden, trying to memorize every little detail. You remembered climbing this tree, you remembered the hole in the fence you made so the neighbour's dog could come play with you, you remembered the time capsule you and Matt buried here when you were fifteen.

Until now, you completely forgot about that. Even though you two didn't talk after he got drafted, it'd be a good idea to meet again since you might never see him again. You might be moving to Calgary but that city was so big it'd be a miracle to meet Matthew somewhere.

So you scrolled through your phone, praying he didn't change his number after all those years as you dialed it.

The phone rang twice before someone picked it up.

"Yes?"

Matthew's voice was so different since the last time you talked.

"Hey Matt, this is Y/N, I'm moving out today and I thought we could dig up the time capsule we buried at my place as kids before I leave. Are you in town?" It was off-season so you might get lucky.

"You are moving out already? But yeah, I can meet you in an hour if you have the time."

"Yes, I'll still be here, don't worry."

"Okay..." There was a moment of awkward silence, neither of you knew how to break it. Was it a bad idea? Of course you wouldn't be as good friends as you once were. But you didn't know it would be this... weird. He didn't say goodbye back when he left to Calgary and didn't answer to any of your calls or messages. What were you thinking? That he wanted to see you?

"So, where are you moving to?" Matt finally continued, making the conversation more bareable.

"Calgary, they offered me an amazing job there."

"Really? I've been there for a few years."

"I heard." Not from you, was what you didn't say. It seemed like he'd heard it nonetheless.

Silence. You hated how distant you've grown - once, a long time ago, you were best friends. You went together to kindergarden and since then you've been the best of best friends. But even after all you went through, you didn't know what to say.

"Nevermind, I have to get going. I'll be at your place at three, okay?"

"Okay. I'll meet you there."

As you hung up, sadness enveloped you. Maybe you shouldn't have called. Maybe it'd be better to never meet Matt again, to remember only the good old times.

But he might be already on his way and you wanted to say a proper goodbye before going far, far away.

You loved him once, you recalled. It broke your heart when he left without looking back.

It irritated you that you couldn't do the same as easily.

...

"Y/N?" a now familiar voice called, the sound of closing car doors echoing through the silent street.

Matt looked same as he did four years ago and still totally different. It was like staring at a stranger you could swear you've already seen before. The curly, those pretty grey-blue eyes and the crooked smile you remembered and thought about too often. He got taller and more mascular over the time he played hockey professionally.

"Hey," you said nervously, tucking your slightly trembling hands into the pockets of your shorts.

Again, that uncomfortable silence took place.

"How long is it?" Since you've last seen each other. Since he'd ignored your calls and messages. Since he'd left you crying as he left this town - as he left you.

"Five years," you said.

Regret flashed in those pretty eyes as he took you in. Did you look to him the same as you did the last time he saw you?

"I'm sorry I didn't call." That was it? After five fucking years of silence, this was his apology for everything. This was a mistake. You didn't think it through when you called him today. Just now you started remembering all the things he's done to you.

"That doesn't make it hurt less, does it?" You whipped around, going to the line of fruit trees where you left the two shovels you borrowed from the neighbour.

Matt's hand slightly gripped your elbow, stopping you in your tracks.

"I know that I made a bunch of wrong decisions before I left."

"I've been trying for 6 months to reach you before giving up completely. And you? You've been living the best version of your life anyone could ever imagine."

"That's not true and you know it." Matthew said and you wanted to leave right then, forget this stupid meeting.

"I do not." you hissed, trying to calm down your rising temper.

Matt sighed, not wanting to argue over this. So he made his way to the tree line, picked one shovel from the ground and started digging where he remembered the time capsule was.

You didn't help him dig it up. You were too lost in memories, clinging to the past as you thought of younger version of Matt.

The clang of metal on metal attracted your attention back to him. He grunted as he pulled up the metal box and laid it on the grass.

You ducked low next to him, dusting off the dirt of the box. It was an old, weirdly dented thing.  Your eyes laid on the lock and you nearly sighed in annoyance just when Matt grabbed at his necklace, the key dangling from it. When you two buried the capsule, each of you got a key made for it. You had yours somewhere in the boxes that had already been shipped to your new apartment and Matt's... he didn't forget. He kept it through the years, guarding it and not losing it as you expected.

You didn't say anything, just patiently waited for him to open the box.

There was a letter inside, along with a bunch of things you thought of as long forgotten. Your bracelets of friendship, the colors faded already; a puck with which you and Matthew played your first hockey game together when you were six; so many polaroid photos with your faces on them; USB with a playlist you two always danced to.

Your eyes watered - how were you supposed to say goodbye to all of this?

Silently, you looked over all of the photos - you and Matt in the rink with small hockey sticks and skates, you and Matt sticking out your tongues colored blue with slushies, you and Matt, you and Matt, you and Matt...

Then Matthew's hand found yours, your fingers automatically intertwining with his. You started crying, first silently but then the sobs shook with your whole body.

"Come here," he murmured, hugging you. His body was so soft and warm, as if begging you to lean into his touch.

"How- how could you leave this all behind?" you mumbled between the sobs.

"It's not leaving if you don't say goodbye." Matt said, his fingers playing with yours.

"Then you are a fucking coward, Matthew."

Silence. He didn't argue with you on that, so you must have been right.

You stopped crying after a while, checking your watch while wiping your nose.

Shit. It was so late already - you had to call an uber to get you to the airport in the next hour or you'd be super late.

"I'll have to go," you said quietly, but Matt interrupted you.

"You are right," he tucked on the edge of his shirt, clearly nervous. He was nervous. "I was a coward. I thought that if I didn't say goodbye to you as I left, it'd hurt less. I was wrong and I was a fucking coward for not picking up your calls or replying to your messages because it would make it so real - that I was leaving and probably never coming back. But I want to make it all right again, I want to be a part of your life - if you will let me."

You thought about his offer and still, you couldn't answer. You weren't sure about letting him into your heart just for him to storm out again without a goodbye, leaving you behind, broken.

"Can I at least take you to the airport?" To that, you nodded, picking up the time capsule, putting all the items back in. Then you gave back the lent shovels to your neighbour and with a last glance at your house, you got into Matt's car.

...

On the way to the airport Matt played the playlist from the USB that was in the time capsule and the nostalgy hit you hard.

You remembered the lyrics, the melody; you remembered everything.

The drive was too short and you started panicking as the engine stopped.

Matthew helped you with your suitcase and went inside with you. The two of you stopped at the first gate.

"Here," he said, giving you a piece of paper. "It's my adress. Hopefully, you won't live so far away, so we could meet there if you wanted to."

You tucked it in your pocket without a word.

"Also, take this. I wrote it in ninth grade so don't think much of it. But I want you to read it, Y/N."

It was the letter from the time capsule, with your name on the blank envelope.

"I will." you promised.

The silence that followed wasn't awkward this time.

"I'll let you know my decision about what you said earlier. I just... I need some time."

Matt noded, giving you the space you so desperately needed.

"So, until we meet again - goodbye, Y/N."

"Goodbye, Matt."

...

The plane took off and you finally had the time to read the letter he gave you.

You immediately recognised his scrambled handwriting and you smiled at how messy it was before you started reading.

Dear Y/N,

I'm writing this in case I leave. Dad has been telling me for some time already that if I'll get drafted, I'll have to leave. He also said that if I'll be smart, I will never look back at my past.

I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future.

He said I'll meet a lot of girls but I know that none of them is going to be like you.

So, I promise you, I will never say goodbye to you.

I love you,

Matt

With trembling fingers, you pulled out your phone, the tears already staining the screen.

That's why he never said goodbye. Because of this stupid letter and his stupid promise.

The phone rang once before he picked it up.

"Y/N? What is it?"

A ragged breath escaped you and you laughed and cried at the same time.

"I don't want you to be my past. I want you to be my present and my future."

"Oh, that was cheesy, wasn't it-"

"No, you dumbass. That's my answer."