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cloudrunnerscinnamon · 6 months ago

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I guess I am back ...

(gif not mine)

Took me a while but here I am again writing fanfiction and fuck me that feels good!

So since I haven't written anything in quite some time – please be gentle. :) It is not perfect but it is a start. Here it goes. Enjoy!

Short, little something about the 12th Doctor and his travel companion. It is very fluffy. What I would imagine to be an almost „normal“ day in the Tardis.

The usual banter

„Well then stop complaining and just read it to me.“ (Y/N) said while she was walking through the many hallways of the Tardis holding a book in her hands. She was on her way to a more comfortable place to rest. She had spent the last half an hour reading, sitting on one of the chairs in the Tardis main console room. However her back had started to ache and she really did want to snuggle in under a blanket now.

„When you were sitting on the chair I could at least pretend that you were listening to me being all clever. If you go away I got no one to be clever for.“

The Doctor trotted grumpily behind his friend inclined to follower her until he eventually would persuade her to return back to the console room.

„Oh you poor thing you,“ (Y/N) twirled around while still walking and gave the doctor a puppy dog lock. Her sarcasm wasn’t lost on him at all.

„I know you just want my attention because you are incapable of enjoying some down time. But I am not - so please just let me read my book in peace and finde someone else to impress.“ Continuing on in her path, (Y/N) heard the Doctor huffing out a loud breath. She smiled to herself. This was them having a good time. Simple, friendly banter mixed with a bit of truth and a piece of spite.

„What are you reading anyways?“ The Time Lord inquired even though he already knew what (Y/N) was reading.

He had checked out the title the minute the woman had picked up the book. He had only kept up his monologue about quantum physics and why it should be taught in Kindergarden to make sure she did not realize he was actually just paying attention to her. His mouth had been on auto pilot doing its own thing. Flushing out knowledge which sounded reasonable enough to not make (Y/N) suspicious. The Doctor’s eyes though were roaming over his friend. They had drunk in every detail about her. She had been sitting a little hunched forward, cross-legged on a console room chair and the Doctor knew her neck would hurt later.

How she delicately held the book, absently running her index finger over the spine. Every other minute one of her hands would pull back a stray strand of hair which had fallen into her vision for the what seemed like the hundredth time. He smiled softly angling his head down a little, turning to the side just a bit so he wouldn’t give himself away. (Y/N)’s expressions were what captured him the most. She could run through so many facial expressions in seconds while reading and she didn’t even know it.

After The Doctor and (Y/N) had started to travel together he had soon learned that she was an adamant reader. Always carrying a book with her which in fact had come in more handy than he could have thought. Soon he had revealed to her the big library the Tardis had to offer and she had spent countless hours in there since then.

So to be honest the Doctor adored how much (Y/N) loved reading and was utterly stunned how much happiness it invoked in her. It made him feel like he could also maybe finde simple things that made him happy. It gave him hope and comfort. Nevertheless he would never admit this out loud. The teasing, the raillery and how they would always end up sitting together reading, talking about it, shushing each other when they wanted to make a point. He loved it, he loved her - which was a secret and something he pushed deep down, well away, avoiding the whole subject.

To answer his question (Y/N) just held the book up over her shoulder.

„You have read this one at least 3 times!“ The thick Scottish accent of this Doctor’s incarnation couldn’t possibly be more prominent. When he continued (Y/N) had to close her eyes for a second. She would never be able to un-hear that low dark rumble of a voice and it gave her the shivers - the good ones.

„How can you read that again, it’s not getting any better. Wasn’t really good to begin with and—“

„5 times, I read it 5 times and it’s my favorite so don’t mock it you old grump.“ She said with a twinkle. Another huff from behind her and then she had reached the door to her room.

The door slide upwards with a silent, swift movement and (Y/N) entered her room.

It was a while back, when on a whim the Doctor had decided that it was time to give (Y/N) her own room. She had been traveling with him for well over a year and even though the Tardis was good at providing the woman with everything she needed when ever she went looking for it, the Time Lord really wanted to extinguish the thought of her just being a guest. So in addition to a key for the Tardis (Y/N) also had gotten a room.

It was in itself a relatively large space however a comfortable king-sized bed, a dark green corduroy couch, several shelves filled with books and other stuff, as well as an antique wooden desk and a well-worn armchair made it look very cozy. Somehow the Tardis had managed to build in a big round window which was laid in deep enough so one could sit on the sill and marvel at the stars. A wooden stool was placed under it for better reach and the nook was set up with different sized cushions and blankets. There was no harsh light source, the whole room was illuminated by tiny fairy lights and garlands (Y/N) had hung in different corners and on the ceiling. Over time some of her drawings, keepsakes and other things had made its way onto the walls. There was a small bouquet of flowers, dried now put still carefully placed into a vase upon a small table next to the arm chair. Flowers (Y/N) had collected during one of the many adventures with the Doctor. In a corner by the bed was an old chair, layers of cloth made it almost invisible. Some of them had slit down onto a fluffy large rug. Somehow all of this captured so much of (Y/N)’s character and the space truly had become hers. It filled the Doctor with joy every time he noticed.

When (Y/N) had just started staying in her own room the Doctor made a point to not enter it. He didn’t want to seem intrusive or else overstepping boundaries so he simply avoided the space all together. But as time passed those boundaries got pushed around and eventually evaporated. It appeared to be that neither the Doctor nor (Y/N) really minded the other in their rooms. Which is why, without hesitation, the Time Lord followed his friend inside.

(Y/N) went straight for the big couch and crawled onto the shorter side of the L shape. Here she could finally rest her back comfortably against the big cushions and cover herself with that large blanket she had been craving. A happy sigh slipped over her lips and the plain words of her book started to take colorful form in her head. It could have been perfect but a few seconds in and (Y/N) had to avert her gaze from those pages just to see a rather cross Time Lord standing in front of her. His head was tilted to the side and he wore a what you could call a question-mark-expression on his face. It did nothing for him combined with his constantly peeved eyebrows but (Y/N) still smiled and sat up a little more.

„You are not, you are really not?“ Lost for words, the Doctor in his bewilderment gestured between the room and the door, his hands flying around.

„You are really going to just sit here and read that book?“ The Doctor pointed at the book as if he was trying to stab it. (Y/N) knew that the Doctor in fact did have a hard time wrapping his head around the concept of just doing nothing or at least not achieving anything, albeit one could argue reading was a great achievement. So she understood, some of this was show, familiarity, daily life with each other but still there was a little truth hidden in the Doctor’s words. He needed her to keep out the loneliness, the dark thoughts and perhaps even memories. The Doctor’s mind was much easier to carry when it was occupied. And most days (Y/N) was happy to oblige. She loved being his companion. One adventure after another, long sleepless nights and so many stories he could tell but some days she simply needed to rest. Catch her breath in someway. „Hey did you just silently insult my book with your finger. Cos I saw that!“ (Y/N) chuckled and rolled her eyes in a fake annoyed manner. She defensively covered the book with her hands mocking him. The Doctor drew in a breath and put his hands on his sides revealing the red lining of his long coat. His signature move, (Y/N) thought and she had to laugh at that. He really was a child sometimes, stomping his feet.

„Come on now Doc. You have three options here,“ her thumb went up to indicate the different alternatives.

„Number one: you can either sit down and be quiet,“ second finger joined, „ number two: you can go away do what ever the hell you want or,“ third finger rose, „ number three: and this is my preferred option, you can sit down, snuggle in and read the book to me.“ (Y/N) wiggled her fingers at the Time Lord and shrugged.

„Your pick.“

To the Doctor there really weren’t three options here, all he truly wanted was to be close to (Y/N). She calmed him, he had figured that out awhile back after they had been traveling together for only a few weeks. Everything around him usually carried some kind of intensity, pressure and he had a tough time ridding himself off that even in the comfort of his Tardis. (Y/N) took that away, she was like a constant that fixed something in him. At first he wasn’t able to accept that. It felt weird to the Doctor that somebody else had such an impact on him but after a while he recognized it as something special. With her around there was no need to go on and keep digging, to keep finding but he never told her that. Old habits die hard and he wasn’t ready to share that knowledge yet. After all he was the Doctor who kept running right?

Nevertheless (Y/N) did notice that the way the Doctor treated her differed a little from how he carried himself with others. She put it off to all the countless hours they had spent together and them simply being comfortable around each other. Just friends.

The Doctor grumbled something under his breath and kept lingering in the middle of the room.

„What was that?“, she asked. Instead of an answer the Doctor took a few long strides towards the Couch. Before (Y/N) could do anything the book was snatched from her hands and with a thud the Doctor plopped down right next to her. He pushed his shoes off putting his feet up and under his companion’s blanket. His left arm came down around (Y/N)’s shoulders and he opened the book at the latest dog-ear.

„You really have got to stop doing that.“ The Doctor nodded towards the book. „Dog-ears are just horrendous especially for the next reader.“

„If you wouldn’t interrupt me so often there’d hardly be any.“ (Y/N) tried to sound offended but she couldn’t hide the smile forming on her lips. She grabbed the Doctor’s hand that was resting on her left arm and squeezed it lightly. His fingers involuntarily interlaced with hers right away and his thumb caressed the back of her hand. This was sweet and surprising. They had been sitting close together before but as of late more often. However it normally didn’t go further than their bodies touching side by side.

The atmosphere had suddenly changed. The moment came and went and still they were just sitting there quietly, waiting maybe. (Y/N) moved first. She scooted down a little so she could lean more into the Doctor and was able to rest the back of her head on his chest. (Y/N) could feel the rise and the fall of the Time Lord’s breath. Were those thumps his hearts? She couldn’t be sure because her own heart was beating wildly. The Doctor drew in a long breath, he wanted to start reading. As much as he was enjoying the close proximity to (Y/N) he was also scared to give away how much it actually moved him. Reading would at least draw some of his braincells in another direction. He closed his eyes for a second to compose himself, how could he be so nervous? He was The Doctor, the oncoming storm, bringer of darkness and –. And in the face of feelings remotely in the vicinity of romance he still basically was just a school boy with a crush, tongue tide and clumsy hands. Sensing that the Doctor was hesitating for some reason, (Y/N) turned around a little and peeked up at the Doctor. The look she saw in his eyes startled her. She had seen that kindness and calm before all though hardly ever as unfiltered as it was right then. Yet (Y/N) got a scarce view of something else and it confused her immensely. What was that? (Y/N) let go of the Doctor’s hand and without thinking about it she very softly ran a finger along his face. She started at his hairline slowly tracing it down to his cheekbone, continuing on until she reached the corner of his mouth, drawing a half circle down upon his chin. And before she even realized what she had just done her hand dropped back down lying flat on the Doctor’s chest.

„I,“ (Y/N)’s voice came out a little raspy and she had to swallow to clear her throat.

„I thought, I thought I saw, there was something, I…“ She shook her head.

„Sorry I didn’t mean to just –. How rude of me!“ (Y/N) gained her bearings back and was suddenly very aware of what she had just done. Her face grew red and she felt stupid.

If the Doctor hadn’t been holding his breath before he sure as hell was now. The way she had run her finger down his face and had looked at him while doing so made him speechless. Second time he was lost for words in mere minutes, that’s an accomplishment. All the carefully stored away feelings he harbored for his travel companion came rushing out trying to finally overwhelm him. Well and that was that. It was over, there was no denying it anymore. After all that time and all those rules he put upon himself something just snapped. Fine, here we go then, the Doctor thought. Wrapped up in this huge aha-experience of his, (Y/N) begun to wiggle her way out of there close sitting positions. She didn’t dare look at the Doctor and just wanted to get away. Shocked by the unexpected loss of contact the Doctor panicked a little and dropped the book on the couch He quickly took a hold of (Y/N)s hands. She halted in her movement. Without saying anything the Doctor tucked a little. What he really meant to say was ‚please don’t leave, everything is good. Stay here - with me.‘ but all he managed, owed to his utter lack of being able to say what he really feels, was:

„Where are you going?“ His voice was soft, no trace of insistence. Silence. They looked at each other. The Doctor didn’t want this to go south, he wanted to save this situation make it go back to where they had been moments ago.Where was time traveling when one really needed it. When (Y/N) clearly wasn’t going to say anything, worse it looked like she still wanted to flee. The Doctor chose to go for chatter. Comfort lies in the known and chatting each others ears off – they knew.

„So you touched my face, no big deal. Isn’t like you haven’t done that before is it?“ The Doctor tried to sound normal, relaxed even.

„I mean I get it, I am a sight to behold.“ He wiggled his eyebrows and made an upward motion with his hand, flipping long strands of hair around he clearly didn’t have.

This was funny in itself because this particular regeneration of the Doctor really didn’t think himself handsome or good looking in any way. It had never bothered him too much. However since he felt more and more drawn to (Y/N) in a romantic manner he kind of wished he still was that young, springy, bow-tie version or even the sand-shoed one.

Finally a small smile on (Y/N)’s lips. Her shoulders relaxed a little too. Just one more for good measure then, the Doctor thought, and we should be reading in no time.

„Now I haven’t got all day. Do you want me to read this to you or would you rather prefer to map out more of my frowning lines?“ Almost back to her quick-witted self (Y/N) opened her mouth to respond but the Time Lord cut right in.

„Oh and no I am not doing voices. The last time I did that I had slightly too much red wine and you had broken your fragile human wrist.“ He glared at her one more time smirking and picked the book back up. (Y/N) was moving back into the position she had just left so hasty and slapped the Doctor on his knee.

„As long as I don’t have to hear anything about quantum physics for the next few weeks I take what I can get, you grouch.“ The Doctor scoffed, giving her a disbelieving look. „I have, you know, on good authority that some people would commit murder to her me lecture about –“ This time (Y/N) went right over the Doctor’s words.

„Shhh, less talking more reading.“ With that (Y/N) fully leaned back and placed her head on the Doctor’s hearts once more. The Time Lord smiled to himself. When he started to read his thick Scottish accent filled the room, he knew she loved it.

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