#he would be so chaotic and unhinged
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*Spoilers*
Everyone : Han Yoojin is just Haeyeon Guild Leader's ordinary and weak F-class brother.
S-classes who fought against temp S-class hyj (especially shj and hyh) : Thank god Han Yoojin is F-class. Can't even imagine what he would do otherwise....
#sctir#s classes that i raised#han yoojin#imagine if he was S-class#all others would not stand a chance#he would be so chaotic and unhinged
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Room full of Gotham rogues, tim enters it holding a gun a shoots a few bullets in the air to get everyone's attention
Tim: Alright, listen up, I do not want to be holding this gun, and that has absolutely nothing to do with the no kill rule and everything to do with that one time I met a future version of myself who was a mob boss who ran all of Gotham and was really into the whole shooting people thing so now any time I pick up a gun I'm like Is this it? Is this the pipeline? Is this how gun batman is created? THAT BEING SAID talk shit, get shot, understood?
#help#he's just so chaotic#i feel like he would do this#tim drake#chaotic tim drake#red robin#robin#unhinged tim drake#rr#batfam
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Okay sound off, who do you think from current DA media is going to become a companion in DA:D and do you think they will be romanceable?
I will bet and eat my Left Shoe that our boy Marius (ostensibly from Magekiller) is going to be a romanceable companion. The build up in the comics around him and his past and his sad wet intense personality- he's a perfect set up for a "I Can Fix Him" companion. I can smell it.
#dragon age#da4#dragon age dreadwolf#its so fuckin funny how people treat him in the comics#his best friend and magehunter partner has a hot spy gf#and is essentially his fucking baseline for normality#cuz on his own he would not speak for fucking days#and then come out with the most unhinged shit#that makes the party look at him like 'maker's balls we need to get this man into therapy'#even stoic Fenris cant relate to him#his sense of humour has aged like fine wine and hammered under the chaotic#nature of the kirkwall gang#and he can't connect with abused ex-slave Marius At All#amazing stuff
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2009 Australian Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Rubens Barrichello & Jarno Trulli)
#brawn is like amr to me in which they make me very weepy and emotional and unhinged#me watching the podium was just me screaming internally: JENSONNNNN JENSONNNNNNNNNN sob sob#also i spoke abt this at length before but still the jump in production quality vs 2005 vs 2009 vs 2023 is so jarring honestly#and related to that ^ what did i say about ending up with a million gifs what did i say....tho less than i expected tbh#btw this post is my comfort post in case baku is chaotic#also omg i am still screaming over seb's DNF like the way he and kubica had a double takeout ;;;;#him continuing to drive another lap with his whole ass wheel basically broken off LMAO#maybe this is bcs its still fresh in my mind but its so funny to compare this race to aus 2023#like do you remember the kmag red flag in 2023? like one wheel popped off and they had a red flag#meanwhile in this race kubica's tires were literally rolling around the track and theyre like 'eh safety car okay ig'#es tut mir leid jarno and rubens but jb is my babygirl and i love him#i hate having to cut out gifs but i want to try to keep it to ten UGHHHHH#if i let myself be uncontrolled these posts would be like 20 gifs....#jenson button#jb22#rubens barrichello#jarno trulli#f1#formula 1#formula one#we do a little bit of f1#2009 australian gp#2009 australian grand prix#season: 2009
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don't mind me I just wanna show off some of Scra'el's greatest hits since i finished his playthrough a while ago and i miss him 👉👈
he's a half-drow archfey warlock. I have a whole backstory made-up and ready. And I'm a little obsessed with him still...
#tav#bg3#jj speaks#his charisma is rly high but that's all lies#he just gets away with being rude because he's so pretty#he's a little shit#and a menace to society#I'd say he's like chaotic neutral...#but it's close to evil if he didn't have halsin around#scra'el before any decision since he got involved with halsin is just like 'would halsin be disappointed if i did this?'#but if he's with astarion he can get a little unhinged#there's a balance here lmao#star: 'I'm fine with anything that keeps you from turning into a#mindflayer.'#scra'el: 'okay so we're of one mind. let that other guy do it. good plan. fuck that guy.'#selfish bastards#*affectionately*#Also he would never give up that face he's too vain
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This!!!! Yesss!!!! It would be wonderful for Mav to have multiple angels looking out for Mav, his Ice during/when he’s moving up ranks to Admiral and his brother Danny who’s the baddest ass lawyer in the navy to protect their Mav/Pete. ❤️❤️❤️
So I've seen people talk about Pete Mitchell and Ethan Hunt as twins, but what about Pete Mitchell and Daniel Kaffee as twins.
The idea of twins both in the navy, just in different divisions - aviation and legal. (Neither actually having anything to do with boats being hilarious)
It's canon that both are competing against a legacy their father left behind.
Both have an unchallengeable moral compass - they both know what is right - yet they both have a chaotic way of showing it.
They share the same charm, but also a healthy vanity towards their respective professions. They're both very good at what they do, and they know it.
I'm imagining when they were younger, Pete racing around the house model plane in tow and Danny out in the yard hitting softballs with his favourite bat.
I'm imagining them at school, where a kid is being picked on until Pete and Danny put a stop to it - Pete's ready to fist fight the bullies while Danny checks that the kid's alright.
Danny goes off to Harvard Law at the same time Pete joins the Navy's Aviation Academy. (The reason Danny joins the Navy after graduating is because Pete is there too. " l look better in the uniform." "Bullshit we both look the same.")
When Pete gets his callsign, the first person he tells is Danny via the phone. Danny finds it hilarious and amazingly fitting.
After Goose's death, Danny is there to console Pete not only as a brother but as a professional. " You're not guilty, none of this is your fault. They know it, the person who has to believe it is you."
Danny coming to Pete's graduation ceremony from Top Gun... and everyone and their aunts thinking "Christ, there's two of them."
#as much as i love the ethan and mav twin aus#i need this so bad#might just draw it someday who knows#i literally have not been able to get this out of my head#ethan being pete's twin is good but ethan is way more put together than mav#daniel kaffee matches mavs unhinged chaotic energy perfectly#ethan would definitely have food in the house but its canon that danny does not#mav also cannot look after himself that's why goose and carole are there to make sure he survives#i could write so many more headcanons but the post would be so long#pete mitchell#all for this
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the four times they asked about his sidekick, and the one time he realized why. (pt.1)
worst!logan + d&w!deadpool x suicidal!reader
a/n : okay this is sad and emotion-driven asf, so if you're sensitive to suicide mentions or emotional trumoil and problems of self-worth please do not continue reading this. Also warning for suicide description for the other universes' sidekicks. first part out of five!
wc : 2k
TW FOR SUICIDE , TW FOR DEPRESSION , SOFT!WADE , SOFT!WORST!LOGAN , WADE BEING UNABLE TO LOOK AFTER A KID , HEAVY/MULTIPLE BATMAN AND JASON TODD REFERENCES , DEADPOOL VARIANTS FUSSING OVER READER. soft!worst logan . overprotective!deadpool . only-deadpool-still-with-sidekick!wade wilson
Think of Batman and Robin.
Yup. Now turn and twist it around some more and make it.. more chaotic, more unhinged. More morally questionable.
And then think of Deadpool. The merc with a mouth. The dude that chose a red suit just so he didn't have to bother about the red stains.
And then add up a teenager to the recipe. As chaotic as the man, maybe a bit naïver. And you've got Deadpool and his sidekick.
Because if all cool superheros had sidekicks, then Deadpool —albeit while not actively being a superhero. Had to have one too, didn't he?
And that's how you had ended up roped into all of his unethical adventures, killing off the bad guys that had the highest price above their head and helping Deadpool run the official Spideypool fanwebsite.
But, despite how many masks you put on, despite how many bad guys you killed, despite how many times you had saved someone. You were still just you.
A teenager. A teenager paired up with an older, unhinged, mercenary that ran his mouth way too much and that got you into way too much trouble.
A teenager paired up with an irresponsible adult without emotional responsability was the fucking equivalent of throwing a trained lab mouse inside the first maze that didn't have an exist.
Wade cared about you. Yeah, you knew that. But the problem was that you were a teenager and teenagers needed a certain amount of care to grow healthyly.
Because physically you were great, with how much running around and being-at-the-verge-of-death you did. But mentally? God, then you were the messiest mess in the planet.
Spending so much time with someone that had so many intrusive thoughts, that spilled his thoughts without filter, had rubbed off on you.
And sometimes you scared yourself when sudden thoughts popped up in your mind. Like the sudden pull in your legs anytime you walked near the edge of a roof, the "jump!" that flashed across your head. Or the way you wondered, asked yourself, what it would feel to be stabbed when you were cleaning Deadpool's katanas. Or the way you started to throw yourself at danger's way just for the thrill of it. And if you died, well, there went nothing.
It was wrong. It was bad. And it was a totally unhealthy and toxic vice. You knew you were self-destructive.
But you didn't know how to do doing anything about it.
You see, if Deadpool wasn't so reckless and careless maybe you would've told him. But since he did it, you grew into your late teens thinking it was okay.
,,
Lately, your thoughts had grew more dangerous. More specific. And you were starting to get scared of yourself. In movies, that was how villians started —with destructive thoughts. And you didn't want to become a villian.
What would Wade think of you? He'd be disappointed in you, hate your guts, despise you.
So your mind jumped to the quickest—and most self-destructive—conclussion. Offing yourself before that happened.
And you had nearly 10 pages of your pink diary written with ways of carrying on with that plan. Glitter gel pen words scribbled about the knifes in the house—their lengths and sharpness—, about the belts stacked away in Wade's closet, about the height of the fall from the balcony to the ground. You had everything planned.
And Wade hadn't caught onto anything of it, except for the fact you seemed more twitchy and on edge than usual. He tied it to the usual teenage anxiousness that came with your age.
He didn't know this was the last mission he was going to have you in.
,,
He had just brought you along on this 'adventure' just like he had did with all of the ones before, except in this one there was another.. —reluctant—companion.
Logan Howlett. The Wolverine.
And not the dead hero that Wade had unburied a few days before. No. This one was the worst variant of Wolverine in the whole multiverse, the one from the timeline where he killed all of the X-Men.
And that Howlett was smelling something coming.
He could smell the irony scent of blood whafting off of you, a bitter scent choking his airways. Your scent was way too bitter for how cheerful you were, except maybe you weren't.
This Logan had only barely known you for two days, but if something were to happen to you he'd kill the responsible, then find a way to kill the mercenary and then find a way to kill himself too.
But, first. Stop, pause, rewind. How this did even start?
,,
You groaned as you helped Wade drag the uncounscious body of the drunk Wolverine you had found in a random timeline —the only one in which the dude hadn't tried to kill you at first sight. Entering through the door-shaped orange portal to the TVA room.
"one anchor being coming right up!" Wade's voice rang through the air before the merc, fully dressed in his suit, had crossed the portal.
You let out a startled squeak when the antihero pretty much threw the uncounscious body of the Logan on the ground, wincing at the metallic sound of his skull against the floor.
"Wade!" you hissed. "c'mon pumpkin', don't sweat it. He's full metal, remember?" he said as he gave the drunk Logan a kick in the side, the metallic sound echoing his words.
"listen here, babygirl" the merc started, looking at the unimpressed man before him. "this Wolverine has the he-can-do-anything-even-musical-stuff look to him and bonus he's actually wearing the accurate comic costume. So, uh yeah, there, timeline saved"
The silence coming from the dude that had called Wade here in the first place didn't sound too good get it?. And as you sat there, poking the drunk man's face with your index finger while whispering for him to "wake up, Wolvie, rise and shine, wakey wakey?"
"I don't understand"
"You said my, our" he pointed at you "universe is dying because this nutsack died, well, problem solved" he now pointed at Logan.
"oh my god" Paradox breathed out. "you actually think you can replace an Anchor Being with this?"
Oh, great. A rant was comming. Like the ones your mother goes on when you mess up too many times.
"I wouldn't have accepted any other Wolverine BT dubs. But you.. have outdone yourself and brought me the worst Wolverine in the whole multiverse!"
It looked as if the dude's temple vein was going to pop, and you weakly interveened. "what do you mean the worst one..?" you breathed out.
"This Wolverine let down his entire world, he's the stuff of Legend but not in a good way and what he did.. well, some things are just beyond forgiveness"
A beat of silence followed, you knew the Wolverine on the floor had been awake and listening for the whole time. But then, you saw Paradox finally looking at you.
"wait"
"what?"
"is that your little sidekick?"
The incredulous, and cruelly amused, tone of the man in uniform made Wade quirk an eyebrow under his mask.
"yeah, why?"
His words were followed by a booming laugh coming from Paradox. His hand going to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose, as chuckle after chuckle it just confused Wade and you even more.
"I can't believe you've still got her"
That was like a titty-flash for Wade, and not the good kind. He stood there, mouth gaping like a fish as he wildly and overexageredly gestured towards you.
"I gave you a chance at greatness, because my superiors deemed you special. But, I did my duty. I gave you the opportunity and you refused, so there's no more bussiness to do here"
And with that, and a strange remote control in his hand, he pressed a button and zapped you three off to somewhere. Leaving Wade with a strange taste lingering in his mouth.
Well, at least it seemed like your last adventure wasn't going to be boring.
(tags : @coocoocachewgotscrewed , @lokisloverisnthere , @krowsfoot , @lizziegraysworld , @r0reep , @beelzel-brat ).
#softie's works#tfttaahsatothrw series#the five times they asked about his sidekick and the one time he realized why#the five times they asked about his sidekick and the one time he realized why series#deadpool#deadpool x reader#deadpool x fem reader#platonic deadpool x reader#platonic deadpool x fem reader#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett#logan howlett x fem reader#platonic logan howlett x reader#platonic logan howlett x fem reader#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine x fem reader#wolverine x suicidal reader#wolverine x teen reader#wolverine x depressed reader#deadpool x suicidal reader#deadpool x depressed reader#deadpool x teen reader#wade wilson#wade wilson x fem reader#wade wilson x reader#platonic wade wilson#platonic wade wilson x reader#wade wilson x teen reader#wade wilson x suicidal reader
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WARNINGS: afab!reader, non-stabilished relationship, lots of alcohol, suggestive, university's games, competition, hangovers, being drunk, public-make out.
college fling!seungcheol just bc he looks so university's crush coded in today's show.
college fling!seungcheol that would stand there, hands on his hips, head tilted a little as he scanned you from head to toe when y'all got paired. “you sure about this?” he asked to the organizer of the games, voice full of doubt but eyes already sizing up jeonghan across the field, like that rivalry was the only thing keeping him in check. you just raised a brow, cocky grin pulling at your lips. “oh, don’t worry. i’ll carry us.” his laugh was quiet, disbelieving, but there was something about the way his lips twitched like he wasn’t ready to write you off completely.
fast forward a few games in and you’d completely turned the tables on him—like, when you knocked jeonghan’s smug ass out of dodgeball, the look on seungcheol’s face was priceless. you were really out here, dodging like your life depended on it. jeonghan’s out for blood, but you’re quicker. you hit him square in the chest, and his dramatic reaction has seungcheol laughing so hard he nearly doubles over. like, he blinked a few times and then that big, stupid grin just split across his face. he gave you this sideways glance, “i might’ve underestimated you.”
“yeah, no shit.”
so now, you’re stuck, tied leg to leg with him for this stupid-ass three-legged race. he’s got his arm slung around your waist, warm and firm like he’s not letting you trip up even once, and his breath is hot against your ear as he leans in. “you ready to win this?”
“you better keep up,” you shoot back, glancing up at him just to see that fire in his eyes, the same one you’d caught earlier when he was glaring daggers at jeonghan like the free beer wasn’t even the point anymore—it was just about beating him.
the whistle blows, and suddenly you’re off. at first, it's awkward as hell—legs all tangled and stumbling over each other “you gotta move faster,” he says, out of breath, too serious, like this whole thing isn’t ridiculous.
“maybe if you stopped dragging me like a sack of potatoes!”
“we’re not losing to him,” he mutters, eyes sharp like he’s got a personal vendetta against that flowing hair and smug smile.
and suddenly, you’re in it too, because if there’s one thing you hate more than this sweaty, chaotic mess, it’s losing to jeonghan.
“fine. let’s beat his ass.” maybe it’s the adrenaline or maybe it’s just seungcheol’s grip tightening around your waist, but you two start to move as one, hitting your stride, and you feel the wind whipping past your face as you dash ahead of the other pairs.
by the end of it, you’re both panting, chest heaving, but you’ve won.
later on, the soccer game, when you’re standing by the soccer field, he’s got this boyish smirk plastered on his face. “just cheer loud,” he calls out before jogging onto the field, glancing back every now and then, clearly waiting for your cheer. and yeah, maybe your voice is a little louder than it needs to be when you shout his name, but when you see the way his whole face lights up as soon as you do, it’s worth it. he says he’ll play better if you cheer for him, like your voice will magically give him superpowers.
he scores a few points and each time, without fail, he looks over at you, like he’s feeding off of it. like, your praise alone is fueling him more than anything else. after the game, all sweaty and breathless, he jogs over to you, wiping his brow with the back of his hand. “told you i’d win.”
college fling!seungcheol that would be loud as hell when you’re out there, ready to crush the final game. it’s some chaotic water relay—like, they filled these huge tubs with water, gave y'all a bucket, and the goal was to fill up another container on the other side of the field. the buckets had holes in them, so you had to sprint before the water leaked out.
and seungcheol? this man was unhinged. standing right on the sidelines, practically losing his damn mind every time you bolted back with a half-full bucket. “FASTER, Y/N, COME ON! YOU GOT THIS!” it was like he’d forgotten that this wasn’t some life-or-death competition, just free beer for a year. other students were shooting him dirty looks, a couple even told him to shut up, but he didn’t give a single fuck. “LET’S GO, DON’T SLOW DOWN NOW!”
that's when he saw something different in you—like, something clicked in his head, especially when you wiped your face, water dripping down your legs, making those already too-short shorts stick to your thighs. his cheers stopped mid-scream for a second, eyes going wide as they raked over your legs. he blinked like he’d forgotten what he was supposed to be yelling, and for a moment, it was just him staring.
“shit,” he muttered under his breath, but then he snapped out of it just as quick, “COME ON, Y/N! LET’S GO! ONE MORE, YOU GOT THIS!”
the final lap, water sloshing everywhere, legs burning, and you sprinted across the field with that leaky-ass bucket. and when you dumped that last bit of water into the container, tipping it just right, you barely had time to catch your breath before seungcheol was on you.
he practically tackled you into a hug, soaked and laughing like a maniac. “WE DID IT! FREE BEER ALL YEAR!” he was yelling in your ear, spinning you around like you weren’t already dizzy from running your ass off. his hands slipped down to your waist again, fingers digging into your skin. the grin on his face was huge, like he was the one who won, not you.
“put me down, you big idiot,” you laughed, but honestly, you didn’t mind the way he held you up.
“not a chance,” he grinned, pressing his forehead to yours, still breathless. “you fuckin’ killed it. i knew you would.”
and then came the beer. someone from the staff tossed a cooler your way, cracking open a cold one, and before you could even take a sip, seungcheol snatched it out of your hand with this naughty look in his eye. “oh, nah, you’re not drinking that yet.”
“what—” but before you could even finish, he shook the bottle like a madman and sprayed it all over you, foam and liquid pouring down your face and chest, soaking your already-wet clothes even more. you gasped, but it was too late—you were drenched.
“cheol!” you screamed, reaching for another beer, ready to get him back. and that’s when it turned into this all-out beer fight, both of you laughing so hard your sides hurt, chasing each other around the field with bottles. students were cheering, joining in on the madness, but all you could focus on was seungcheol, hair wet and sticking to his forehead, eyes bright as he grabbed another bottle and aimed it right at you.
“this is for winning!” he shouted, dousing you again, the white beer's foam in the middle of your breasts through your sports top, and you retaliated, beer spilling all over his shirt, his jaw slack with a mock gasp.
“you’re gonna regret that,” he said, but his voice was soft, eyes flicking to your lips just for a second. you both froze, your chest heaving, his hands sliding to your waist again, beer dripping down your arms, clothes clinging to your bodies in the late summer sun.
“not if i do this first,” you whispered, grabbing his collar, and in one quick move, you kissed him.
your bodies slipped slightly, drenched in beer, but that didn’t stop you from pressing yourself tighter against seungcheol. his arm, still holding the half-empty bottle, looped around the back of your neck, drawing you in closer as his lips crushed against yours. his mouth was hot, wet, tasting like the beer he’d just sprayed all over you, and you felt the way his tongue dragged against yours, sucking at it slow and messy, like he was taking his time, savoring the taste of you. your fingers were tangled in his hair, pulling just enough to make him moan into your mouth.
you felt the cold bottle you were still holding press into his back as your bodies shifted. his free hand twitched, so close to your ass that you were almost sure he’d give in and grab it, but he paused. his fingers hovered just above your skin, twitching like he was fighting the urge. even though you could feel the heat between you two, that raw, hungry want, he knew where you were. middle of the field. right after the game. some people were definitely watching, but no one cared. honestly, stuff like this? it happened all the time after athletic games. it was almost tradition.
still, seungcheol held back. instead, he pulled back slightly, lips swollen, breathing hard against your mouth as his forehead rested against yours. “you’re making it real hard to be respectful right now,” he mumbled. the way he said it made you even wetter—not from the beer, not from the sweat, not from the water—and you let out a breathless laugh.
“who said i needed you to be respectful?” you teased, nipping at his bottom lip before finally letting go of his hair. his eyes flicked down to your lips, and his grip tightened, like he was fighting every instinct to just take you right there.
but then someone yelled, “get a room!” and seungcheol just grinned, eyes crinkling at the corners as he looked at you. “come on, let’s go celebrate this win properly.”
— // —
after a good bath and a quick nap, at night, you made it to the bar, it was packed. everyone from the games was there, still high off the adrenaline, beers already flowing, and the music was loud enough to shake the walls. seungcheol’s arm was around your shoulders as you walked in, pulling you close like he wasn’t about to let you get too far from him.
“you think we’ll ever have to pay for a drink again?” you asked, glancing up at him with a smirk.
“not after today,” he replied, flashing you that same cocky grin that made your stomach flip. “free beer for a year? we’re legends now.”
you found a spot at the bar, already surrounded by some of your friends, and before you knew it, you had drinks in your hands. shot after shot, and seungcheol was right there with you, matching you drink for drink. you lost track of how many times he leaned in close, voice low in your ear as he made some comment that had you laughing so hard your sides hurt. his hand never left your waist, and each time his thumb brushed the bare skin just under your shirt, it made you squirm.
at some point, seungcheol challenged you to a drinking game—one that neither of you had any business playing after the amount of alcohol you’d already consumed. “you’re gonna lose,” he slurred, eyes half-lidded as he leaned in close, face inches from yours.
“in your dreams,” you shot back, taking another shot just to prove a point.
you lost the game, obviously. seungcheol won with a shit-eating grin, and you were tipsy enough to let him pull you into his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist like you belonged there.
— // —
by the time you both stumbled out of the bar, the cool dawn brushed your skin. seungcheol’s arm was slung over your shoulders, both of you laughing about something you couldn’t even remember. the streets were quiet, the rest of campus dark except for the streetlights flickering above. you were both drunk, but in that good way where everything felt light and easy.
“you think we’re gonna regret this tomorrow?” you asked, glancing up at him with a smirk.
“probably,” he grinned, his voice slurred as he leaned in to press a sloppy kiss to your temple. “but who cares?”
the walk back to your dorms was full of teasing, bumping into each other as you tried to walk straight. every now and then, seungcheol would stop, grab your hand, and pull you into a kiss, laughing against your lips when you almost tripped over your own feet.
when you finally made it back, he didn’t let go of you. not when you fumbled with your keys, not when you stumbled into your room, not even when you both collapsed onto the bed, still fully dressed and reeking of beer. he pulled you into his chest, both of you too drunk and too tired to do anything else.
“you’re a mess,” you whispered, eyes half-closed as you curled into him.
“you smell like beer.” he mumbled against your neck.
— // —
monday's mornings comes way too fast, and the hangovers hit even harder. you woke up with your head pounding, still tangled up in the sheets with seungcheol’s arm draped over you. groaning, you tried to sit up, but the room spun, and you collapsed back onto the bed.
“never again,” you muttered.
seungcheol just chuckled, his voice raspy and rough. “we said that last time.”
you both spent the entire day nursing your hangovers, drinking water, and trying to piece together the night before. every now and then, seungcheol would nudge you, reminding you of something stupid you’d said or done, and you’d both break into fits of laughter despite the splitting headaches.
#seventeen imagines#seventeen reactions#seventeen headcanons#seventeen scenarios#seventeen x reader#seventeen#svt imagines#seventeen smut#svt smut#seventeen fluff#scoups x y/n#scoups x you#scoups x reader#scoups smut#seungcheol smut#seungcheol fanfic
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seventeen as dads headcanons
content: reader is married to svt, normative(?) family structure, literally just unhinged thoughts, not proofread lol
note: was trying to write an actual fic but then got distracted sorry, dadventeen brainrot is so real
Seungcheol
Super protective “don’t touch my family” dad outwardly
All of his kids’ friends are straight up SCARED of him
But within the household he's the one sneaking ice cream when you say no, albeit guiltily
Shopping trips with him will always result in buying something for them and he is very willing to be taken advantage of
“Babe if I can’t spoil them now, they’re gonna grow up and move out before we know it!”
Tries his best to be handy around the house, but probably makes it worse, ends up calling Mingyu to come fix it
Jeonghan
DEFINITELY a “go ask your mom” dad
This man not only powerless, he doesn't even want the power, he's just here to have a good time and if you say they can't, then sorry kiddo
You can’t tell me that he doesn’t bring up becoming a family prank channel at least once a week
LOVES bragging to everyone else about his kid’s achievements, cannot shut up about them to anyone in a 5 foot radius tbh
His kids definitely talk to him about everything, which is great because he is SO nosy.
Has a list of all their best friends, enemies, and crushes at school somewhere on his notes app for future reference when they come to him for advice
Joshua
The REAL practical joke dad, admittedly made them cry a few times when they were younger and felt really bad about it
Perfect sweet husband and father in image, all of his kids know he’s actually lame af
Dominates the summer barbeques, UNDISPUTED GRILLMASTER
Super dependable, will drop everything if his family needs him and never goes back on his word
Gives surprisingly good fashion advice
Jun
Definitely walks around the neighborhood with his baby in a sling carrier strapped to his front, POINTS AT EVERYTHING OF INTEREST
When they start learning how to speak he adopts all his baby’s weird mannerisms (it started off as a cute joke but then realized he couldn’t stop)
Cries at every baby milestone until they’re like 10
Will not stop bringing up embarrassing childhood moments, especially in front of their kids’ friends/significant others
Cuts fruit for them instead of apologizing
Hoshi
Will fully ally himself with his kids
Like legit would do anything for them. ANYTHING.
I’m talking borderline go to his kid's school to beat up their hypothetical bullies himself sort of dad
The kids can always count on him to say yes if you say no
Absolutely DEVASTATED when they grow out of the tiger stuff he buys for them and become angsty teens
“What do you mean tigers aren’t cool? Do you not love your old man anymore?”
Wonwoo
Quiet doting dad
Definitely more affectionate when the kids are younger but gets into the awkward advice-giving stage when they grow up
LAME DAD JOKES GALORE, groaning is a regular activity in this household
Tries to google basic algebra every time his kids ask for help on math homework because he doesn’t want to admit he forgot everything
Chaotic af unsupervised. “Guess we’re having pizza again tonight kiddos” kinda dad because he cannot and should not cook
Jihoon
Another quiet dad, but make it savage
I feel like he would just love roasting his kids (affectionately of course)
And always overwhelmingly acts of service so his kids know they are loved
Allowance randomly appearing under their pillow, their favorite foods magically stocked in the fridge, always relenting to one last bedtime story no matter how tired he is
Would let you have final say but he makes it really clear he’s on their side and empathizes with them but its out of his hands
“Next time just don’t get caught, okay?” *winks*
Minghao
Loves loves loves just spending time with his babies
Doesn’t matter what he’s doing he just wants to be in the same room as them or cuddling and holding them
Emphasizes equality in your relationship so his kids can grow up with those values and learn to respect others
TURNS EVERYTHING INTO A LIFE LESSON OH MY GOD
Doesn’t believe in allowances but will cave and literally buy them anything they want if they ask
Would rather die than miss any important event (competition, speech, recital, talent show, graduation, etc.)
Mingyu
Absolute super dad, what can’t he do? Nonstop home improvement projects, cooks anything his kids are craving, offers to drive everyone everywhere
But also the whiniest dad ever lol constantly complains about people “ruining his system”
Absolutely FUCKS at the school bake sales, earns them twice the target fundraiser amounts because he's dilf material and knows how to get the moms to spill their pockets
Likes to have the final say, but you’re both usually on the same page in regards to discipline so his kids aren’t getting away with anything
Just the most supportive dad in the universe, the kids learn to never take him for granted
Seokmin
You already know his kids are gonna be spoiled rotten. He will be the favorite parent by default sorry I don't make the rules!!
His arms are the very definition of a safe space
Leaves all the discipline to you because he cannot keep a straight face when delivering a lecture (one time he made them cry and also ended up crying because he felt so bad)
Does so much embarrassing shit just to cheer his kids up when they have a bad day, acts surprised when they tell him he's cringe
Such a pushover that they are probably gonna make fun of him when they're older, but that's okay because they know there's no universe in which their dad will stop loving them
Seungkwan
As long as he can pick them up still, his kids are never on the ground for too long
Two words: SPORTS. DAD.
He could practically captain the cheerleading teams at their school with how many events he's been to
Knows all of his kids’ friends parents, they all get together and have coffee once a month actually
Nags nonstop and complains about everything he has to do for them, but is always diligent and does it without question
Gets so pouty when they start getting embarrassed to show affection, he WILL get his cheek kisses if it's the last thing he does!!
Vernon
Chillest dad in existence?!?
Literally as long as his kids are safe he doesn't give a single fuuuuckkk
“Sleepover? Yeah, call me when you're done and I'll pick you up.”
He WILL argue with you if he doesn't think there's a good reason to say no to them
So cute and encouraging to all their weird hobbies and phases throughout the years. “Lemme see” and “Really? Show me” are regular phrases in his vocabulary
His kids are definitely gonna inherit his legendary facial expressions afnngjdg
Chan
Super affectionate and doting, but also quite strict with them at times
“I just want the best for you, I want to see you succeed”
HAS A PHOTO OF THEM READY AT ANY TIME, lockscreen is a different shot of his kids every day and is eager to show it off even if no one asked
Not so subtly signs his kid up for dance lessons
Just the most encouraging dad ever, makes sure that they know making mistakes are a part of life and that he will always love them no matter what
#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#seventeen headcanons#seventeen x reader#seventeen fluff#i read some of these to my friends and they pointed out how aggressively american some of these were LOL
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espresso
lando norris x reader
dets: an international pop star and a f1 driver could never be secretly dating right? right?
authors note: this is kinda chaotic but its been still in my drafts since that damn espresso song came out, how is it so good?
faceclaim: sabrina carpenter
yourusername
liked by ynfan1 and others
yourusername me laughing at all y'all trying to figure out who my hot songs are about LOOLLLLLL you'll know when I want you to know MWAH xx
melbourne tonight :)))
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ynfan1 you are so unhinged I LOVE
charli_xcx just tell them its me !
yourusername you're right sorry wifey xx
ynfan2 wait are they still around??
ynfanupdates wait whats happening in melbourne tonight ???
ynfan3 she's so secretive, I didn't even know she was dating anyone
landonorris
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landonorris tralia mate
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danielricciardo looking fresh mate
landonorris thanks babe xx f1fan1 landos longest relationship right here f1fan2 bahahah for real man is chronically single
oscarpiastri 👍👍
f1fan1 best of luck this weekend !
yourusername just posted to their close friends!
[caption: baby just had a great weekend at the office <3]
replies:
maxfewtrell disgustingly sweet
↳ jealousy is a disease, better get checked out xx
alexalbon ugh you two make me sick
↳ oh yeah and yourself and lily aren't worse 😐
yourusername
liked by martingarrix and others
yourusername missing tour hours, should we do it again??
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ynfan1 PLEASE COME BACK
oliviarodrigo you never rest queen
yourusername lol duty calls ynfan1 huh? hasn't she been off for ages ? ynfan3 singers can have other responsibilities you do know that right
ynfan2 I just want to know who you're dating..
ynfanupdates
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ynfanupdates yourusername out in monaco tonight !
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ynfan1 huh wonder what has her in monaco? she's there alot recently
ynfan2 looooveee the orange
landofan1
liked by landoupdates and others
landofan1 firstly tell how is a man so hot?? also look at how much he's vibing to yourusername's feather remix??
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landofan1 I could take him (not in a fight)
ynfan1 he is just like me fr
f1fan1 no WAY whats he doing playing yn? 👀
ynfan1 I mean she is one of the biggest pop singers in the world rn f1fan1 orrrrrrrr ynfan2 haha you wish
yourusername oooh whos he ?
landofan1 bahaahahha girl, you are everything I want my popstars to be
yourusername
liked by chapellroan and others
yourusername pookie is away (again) so heres some pics of me looking hot for pookie, and pookie only <3
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ynfan1 what boyfriend would ever leave you??
yourusername I know right?? poor me !
chapellroan need a sub ?
yourusername I don't know what you're abbreviating but yes. yes please.
reneerapp god DAMN
(liked by yourusername)
f1fan1 hmmmmmmhmmm away? and theres a grand prix this weekend
lando.jpg
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lando.jpg returning the favour x Race weekend was gud
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landofan1 people died.
oscarpiastri such a poser
lando.jpg my lady loves it 🤷 landofan1 IS HE IN A RELATIONSHIP landofan2 since when wtf
f1fan1 I don't even care how delusional I am, he'd be so hot for yourusername
ynfan1 Ikr but they don't even follow each other :((
yourusername just posted to their story!
[caption: pookie has returned <3]
replies:
landonorris I don't know how I feel about pookie...
↳ but POOKIE I love it (and you)
↳ landonorris ugh okay fine (love you too)
charli_xcx this soft launch is mean, and I know who it is
↳ hehehhe lol its SO fun tho
f1fan1 is that papaya ?
yourusername just followed landonorris!
landonorris just followed yourusername!
yourusername
liked by landonorris
yourusername need a pick me up ?
Espresso 4/11 @ 8pm ET,
Music Video 4/12 @ 10:00am ET
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ynfan1 woooo queen is back
ynfan2 LOVE the vibe of this
landofan1 is that the JOLLY ???
landofan2 do we think lando is in the video?? cause thats defo him!
landonorris uber rating ?
yourusername 4 stars out of 5 ! missing star is because you kept making me laugh during filming landonorris always knew being so funny was a double edged sword. georgerussell sorry just confirming, do you think YOU are the funny one? ynfan1 what a random friendship, but so cute
f1fan1 finally followed each other, my delusions don't feel so crazy
landofan1 I would loveee if they became friends
landonorris just added to their close friends!
[caption: we just hard launched via music video and people are thinking FRIEnDshIP ?]
replies:
yourusername babyyyy they're so stupid
↳ told you it's crazy you're dating me..
↳ yourusername UGH no enough of that
danielricardio the landonorizz lore is to deep I'm afraid..
lilyme cons of dating a hottie
yourusername
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yourusername guys this is my POOKIE! I just hardlaunched my muse, y'all should be blessed !
(last pic is not mine but like look at how he looks at me teehee...)
tagged: landonorris
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landonorris love of my life fuck
ynfan1 damn y'all are in love love aren't you
fan1 this is crazy to me lando and THE pop it girl??
yourusername me and THE lando norris who is a professional hottie and my pookie xx landofan1 ugh im obsessed with you two
ynfan1 you're telling me you've been dating another celebrity for at least 3 years and we've seen ZERO pap pics?
f1fan1 for real tho we would've seen her at a grand prix, theres thousands of cameras landofan1 yeah seems suss yourusername ugh guys !!! why are you making me spell everything out for you landonorris time to cook darling
mclaren finally the parents are insta official
yourusername get hyped to see me at a gp wigless xxx
ynfan1 you wear wigs??
yourusername have you worn wigs?? landonorris will you wear wigs??? ynfan1 omfg I get it now
landonorris
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landonorris meet my three year pr relationship x
tagged: yourusername
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yourusername yes sorry guys the warming climate is all our fault !! just so fucking hot we cant help it eek
oscarpiastri you two are so unbearable already please go back to being a secret landonorris after 3 years of norizz jokes, I thinkkkk no !
landofan1 THREE yEaRs ???
mclaren wearing papaya off season? oh shes a keeper
ynfan1 heheh admin gets it
danielricciardo rip norizz it was fun while it lasted..
landonorris fun for WHO??
[finished]
hehe im working lateeee, cause I procrastinated doing assignments all day xx
#lando norris#lando norris imagine#lando norris x reader#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#lando norris fanfic#smau
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random percy headcanons:
wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.
literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck
his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)
he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it
will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs
the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.
he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it
percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao
back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone
has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on
weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like
shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao
bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺
can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao
gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.
movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(
percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake
he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it
has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks
grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic
has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.
he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao
he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence
called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week
the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured
has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him
he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.
he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class
currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!
its his birthday<3
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Safe House
Pairing: Red Hood x Reader
A/N: I love the idea of being afraid of Red Hood, but at the same time sharing only one brain cell with him lol ENJOY :) comment, reblog, and like if u can <3
check out pt. 2 here!
Summary: The Red Hood took you back to his safe house, as a hostage? a witness? Doesn’t matter when you can’t help but snoop around the vigilante’s safe house.
Tags: unhinged Jason, annoying that muscular man would be my love language, chaotic duo, banter, another part if u all want one??
Word Count: 706
If someone told you that you would spend your evening sweeping the floor of Red Hood’s safe house, you would not be expecting to be ten dollars richer, but you stood there, diligently sweeping the entire box of loose-leaf tea that you accidentally dropped while snooping around.
Dark tea was scattered across the old, but clean floorboards. You grimaced at the thought of tiny tea leaves permanently stuck in the crevices of the wooden floor.
You figured that when you are a leading crime lord, you constantly deal with too many unknown bodily fluids and pick up a few award-winning cleaning habits.
What’s worse is that you clumsily dirtied that leading crime lord’s current home.
“I’m so dead.” You stared wide eyed at the mess you created.
After sweeping together a neat pile, you went back to the small storage closet you found to grab the dustpan. It paid off to snoop because you found Red Hood’s broom and hopefully could clean everything before he came back.
All his supplies were neatly arranged with a proper place for all of his cleaning products. Broom and mop hung on the wall, shelves organized by the type of disinfectant, towels and rags neatly folded.
It was scarily neat.
“Maybe I can offer a lifelong employment as a maid?” You somberly laughed to yourself, almost in a craze that you were on the verge of panicking and laughing hysterically.
As you murmured to yourself, you spotted some sprinkles of tea that escaped you.
“I just don’t want a bullet hole between my eyes.” You sighed.
You located the dustpan hanging where you grabbed the broom earlier, intentionally avoiding eye contact with the gun mounted to the edge of the shelf with the disinfectant sprays.
“I’m so screwed.” You told yourself.
“Yeah you are.” A voice boomed behind you.
You threw the dustpan in your hand at the direction of the voice, in your frightened state you didn’t even bother aiming and the plastic dustpan flew past Red Hood’s side.
You stepped back into the closet as you panicked, hearing numerous bottles fall behind you. One by one crashing into another as a final bottle rolled to your shoe.
Your face scrunched at the clear mess you couldn’t see but heard.
“Red! Hey, oh wow, you’re back. I missed you, really, I stayed just like you said—“
“I said to stay over there.” He lazily nodded in the direction of a lonely wooden chair in the corner facing the wall.
“Are you kidding me? I look like I’m a toddler in time out if I sit over there.” You were in disbelief.
“You are.” He looked at the mess you made behind you and the small pieces of tea still spread out on the floor.
A modulated sigh voiced out his helmet.
You were so dead.
“Move.” Red nudged you aside, making his way to the doorway of the storage closet. “How did you make such a mess?”
You saw him bend down, picking up bottles and reorganizing the messy shelves. You curiously looked over his shoulder when you noticed he stopped, he reached for something out of your view.
You froze, remembering the mounted gun.
Your heart started to race as your eyes nervously glanced his way. Then, like you were in slow motion, you watched Red slowly stand up, towering over you as you could only watch the back of his shoulders straighten.
He turned, so slowly you wanted to scream.
“Don’t shoot me!” You yelled, covering your hands over your head in a lame attempt to somehow protect yourself from a bullet.
“You idiot, I’m giving you a dust brush!” Red held out the brush in his hand, no weapon in sight.
“Oh.” You moved your hands back down.
“Now sweep up the shit you spilled. You threw the dustpan earlier so find it.” Red spoke in annoyance.
“Dammit.” You sighed.
“Do I need to remind you that this is your mess?”
“Fine, fine. Don’t get your helmet in a twist.” You grabbed the dust brush, trying not to give the Red Hood one last side eye. You failed. “Stupid tin can.”
“I don’t hear you cleaning!” Jason yelled over his shoulder.
“Alright, alright. I’m going.”
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Sweet Escape, Part 2
Pairing: Bodyguard!Terry Richmond x Singer!Black!Fem!/ Plus Size reader
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, You are in charge of your own reading experience. Intentional use of AAVE. Cursing, trying out some angst, teasing, mentions of loneliness, mental health, power imbalance. Mentions of violence, all consensual. Sorry if I missed some.
Summary: You are on top of the world as one of the world’s most popular R&B singers. But behind the glitz and glam, you were unmoored, lonely, and aching for something you couldn’t put a name to. Terry makes you breakfast, bringing a sense of normalcy to an otherwise chaotic life. Still shaken from the shenanigans of your stalker, you enjoy the break Terry offers you. But all too soon, you’re forced to adapt to an ever-changing schedule. Your label makes you go to a club to promote your new single.
Word Count: 7,152k
AO3 Link | Part 1 | Part 3
A/N: Idk why I keep doing this to myself, LMFAO. But ya'll see that man show out with his gold chain? Lordt help me, I love that man. Toss a coin to your blogger by leaving a comment, gif, or unhinged ask.
You stood beside the door to your balcony staring at the brightening day. The cry last night was everything you needed to reset. Perhaps it had just been too long since the last time you did. That was okay. It was okay to cry.
You clenched your fists and felt your nails dig into your palms. It was a terrible grounding technique. But pain was good. Pain meant you were alive. And as long as you were alive, your stalker wouldn’t win. He wasn’t winning when you worked hard for this shit.
All the blood, sweat, tears, predatory producers, dickhead managers, trashy bitches with their “gossip” websites, all of it. You didn’t survive this shit to let an anonymous motherfucker get you down.
You took a deep breath. One day, you’d be able to open the balcony and actually feel the sun on your bones. You had to agree with Terry that it was too easy for someone to take a pot shot at you. Though the stalker seemed to only want to scare you so far. Killing you would kill his fantasy, wouldn’t it?
It was too morbid to think about on such a pretty Las Vegas day. It was nearing the end of your run here before you would travel to LA. You turned and pulled your robe tighter while walking to your bedroom door and flinging it open.
It smelled like home. Like warm biscuits, sizzling bacon, and fresh eggs. You followed the smell to the common kitchen and peeked around the corner. Terry stood in the kitchenette in a gray tank top and matching lounge pants.
Your eyes tracked the subtle vein in his arm and followed it to where it ended in his hand gripping the pan. Terry looked up at you and smirked. “I figured after what happened we could all use a little normal,” he said.
“This…is your normal?” You asked. You hopped onto the nearest barstool and leaned over the bartop to look at the spread. He actually did make biscuits. Fluffy ones with butter melting in the middle. You were tempted to grab one but something told you Terry didn’t play about his kitchen.
You grinned and glanced at Terry who lifted his eyes to yours. You peeked down at yourself and noticed that your girls were threatening to slip out. “I am so sorry,” you said. Though you flirted and harassed the man, you weren’t predatory about it. You truly didn’t mean to let them hang out. You fixed your robe and sat back in your seat like a proper lady.
“It’s all good. Biscuits look good, don’t they?” He asked, his lips dipping in the corners. He almost smiled. Hot damn. Terry brought his thumb to his mouth to lick it and he hummed. The sound vibrated in his chest and you couldn’t help thinking what the hell he was doing as a bodyguard. Bottle that sound and package it into a vibrator and there wouldn’t be a dry cooch in the house.
“Mhm,” you said absently. Maybe the cry hadn’t done its job. Now you were just stuffy and foggy and clearly off your damn marbles. You watched Terry as he finished with the bacon. He moved on to a bowl of eggs he had already cracked and watched his arms work as he whipped up the eggs.
“I really only know how to make scrambled eggs. An omelet if I’m feeling fancy. If you want something else –”
“No, no, this is…sweet of you. I can’t remember the last time someone actually cooked for me. It’s been mostly dining out,” you said.
“You don’t cook when you’re home?” Terry asked.
You had to turn away from Terry. He looked downright delicious and he was being sweet. The last thing you wanted to do was make him uncomfortable by eye fucking him.
“No, not really. There’s not usually enough time. When I have downtime, I’m usually writing a song or working out or preparing for the next tour. Gotta do something with this brain of mine,” you said.
Terry nodded. “Shame. Nothing better than some good food cooked with love,” he said. His voice grew hoarse around the word love. Did he have an ex-wife? Did someone break his heart? There was so much you suddenly wanted to know about your bodyguard. You wanted pieces of him that no one else got. You were hungry and greedy for it. Though you had no right to be.
“So you can’t make anything other than scrambled eggs, huh?” You asked.
Terry scooped out butter and placed it on the hot pan. It immediately sizzled and Terry’s bulging muscles worked back and forth to spread it around. He added the eggs and then turned to you. “I did say an omelet, too. Give me some credit,” he said.
“But only when you’re feeling fancy,” you said.
Terry chuckled. “You get me,” he said.
“So what makes you feel fancy?” You asked. Your eyes drifted to Terry’s every so often and it was bordering on creepy. So you hopped down from the stool and rummaged around in the cabinets.
“What are you doing?” Terry asked.
“Setting the table,” you said. You grabbed two plates and placed it on the counter.
“This was my gesture for you. You’re not supposed to set the table,” he said.
“My grandma would roll in her grave if she knew I didn’t help some kind of way. You wouldn’t want to hurt poor Grammy Bean, would you?” You turned doe eyes to him and added in a cute pout, sticking out your bottom lip.
Terry chuckled, turning back to the eggs. “I suppose I can’t hurt poor Grammy Bean,” he relented. You grinned and continued setting the bar top with plates, two cups, and forks. By the time you were done, Terry had finished up the breakfast.
You stood behind him and handed him the plates one by one while he loaded up the eggs, bacon, and biscuits. He handed you the full plate and you set it down. “That was for you,” he said.
“Oh,” you said and giggled. “Thank you.” You rounded the edge of the bar top, suddenly feeling shy and girly. There was no reason for it. You just…fuck, how long had it been since someone did something for you just because? Not because you were paying them to do it? No hidden agenda?
Technically you were paying Terry too, but to guard you, not cook for you. It was unprompted and there was nothing you could do in return for him. There was nothing you could do to feel like you earned it.
Terry grabbed his own plate and joined you at the bartop. He sat down and spread his legs to accommodate the long length of them. Feet planted firmly on the ground. “Don’t be too harsh on me. I know it’s not the fancy restaurant stuff you eat,” he said.
You laughed. “Don’t believe the hype, Mr. Terry. I am a southern girl at heart. This is way more up my alley than that french reduction, tuna tartar, or whatever else they think people want to eat.”
Terry chuckled and waited until you took a bite of your food. You sighed in appreciation and smiled closed-lipped at him. “This is delicious, Terry,” you said.
Terry grinned, showing off his beautiful smile. It was gone just as quick and he nodded. “Good to hear,” he said.
What you wouldn’t pay or do to see him smile like that again. You ate beside Terry, soaking in the domesticity of it all. You were burning with questions. But you bit your tongue and just enjoyed the stillness. The peace. The quiet.
Terry finished in record time, wolfing down his meal like he had just come back from jail or something. He stood up and grabbed two more biscuits. You didn’t know where the fuck he put it all.
“Did Grammy Bean get you into singing?” Terry asked.
You smiled and nodded, thinking of your grandmother. “Yup. She had a piano that she let me toddle on until she buckled down and got me piano lessons. She was a mainstay in the jazz scene. She knew them all. I was always following after her, so she ended up getting me started with singing. Encouraged me to do it for me if I was going to do this professionally. She bought me my first audition dress,” you said.
Bless Grammy Bean, but whew, that dress was hideous. You were twelve at the time and she somehow transformed you into a little version of her. A blue and purple paisley dress with swirls and waves and too many clashing colors. Old lady shoes. If it weren’t for the studio rep who actually listened instead of laughing at you, you would’ve been sent home with tears to keep you company.
“She sounds like an amazing woman,” Terry said.
“She really was,” you said softly, remembering the pain of losing the most important person in your corner all over again. “How about you? Any grandma stories?”
Terry wiped his hands on the paper towel beside his empty plate and then wiped his mouth. He missed a crumb in his mustache but you decided not to tell him. If anything, it made him more endearing. He followed the towel with his hand, swiping away the crumb anyway. Bastard.
“Yeah, my grandma was no joke. Me and my cousin Mike were terrors. Always running in and out of the house, always getting into trouble. One time, we had been play-fighting in the rain. We were covered in mud. When grandma saw us, she hosed us down, gave us a proper whuppin’ for tracking mud on her porch, and then made us clean off her porch before we could come inside,” Terry said, smiling at the memory.
You smiled with him and shook your head, trying to imagine Terry at such a young age. Was he an awkward teen? Probably not. He was probably born with “responsible" stamped on his forehead.
“Oh, she was really no joke,” you said.
Terry smiled and shook his head. “Not a one. She’s the one that got me into the Marines. She would tell me all her stories of the Air Force and how she was in charge of making sure the women who served were in bed by curfew. A lot of them tried sneaking out to meet up with boys. My grandma was there with a clipboard and her service weapon telling them to try her,” he said, chuckling to himself.
“Not the clipboard too,” you said, chuckling with him.
“They could either get checked off or checked out,” he said, pitching his voice to sound like an older lady. With his deep voice, the sound didn’t quite manage what he went for. You continued to laugh at his impression, waving your hands.
“I’m not trying–” you kept laughing, unable to apologize.
“It’s all good. She was a funny woman. She’d want us to laugh,” he said. He sobered and looked at you while you tried to catch your breath. Giggles escaped you as you calmed down yourself, finding yourself getting lost in his stormy eyes.
You cleared your throat and sucked on your bottom lip. You both opened your mouth at the same time and then giggled. “You go,” he said.
“No, please,” you said.
“Ladies first,” he said. You sighed and rolled your eyes just as the doorbell rang. You cursed under your breath. You almost forgot for a few moments that you weren’t a normal person.
Terry stood up from the bar stool and went to the door for you, checking to see who was there. But you already knew. In five, four, three…
“There you are! Didn’t you get my text?” Mirage asked, walking into the room.
Joya followed close behind with a shy, pained smile on her face. She clutched her calendar to her chest and you smiled. You nearly had a heart attack looking at Terry. There was no way in hell your sweet assistant could handle Terry’s muscles on full display.
“I did not. I was eating breakfast, forgive me. Remind me what we’re doing today?” You asked. Because at this point, Terry effectively made you forget for a morning that you were a singer.
Terry re-entered the room silently, moving around Mirage and headed towards the kitchen. He began to pack up the plates. “Let me help,” you said, hopping off the stool.
“I got it. Go be awesome,” he said.
You rolled your eyes and giggled. You followed Mirage and Joya into the living room and sat down on the huge, white pleather couch. Joya sat down in the armchair, faced away from Terry, and opened her calendar.
“I managed to push your LA costume fittings to eleven to let you sleep in. You have an interview with Essence at three. Here is the list of questions,” she said, sliding over a piece of paper to you. You looked them over. Nothing too bad, not much you hadn’t answered before.
“Okay, pretty light day,” you said.
“Jake called. He needs you at the club tonight, rather than tomorrow,” Mirage said.
“What? Why?” You asked.
“Lord AK flew in early and will be there and Jake needs you to hype up the single,” Mirage said. She cringed at your expression as you sighed and fell back against the couch.
“I was looking forward to staying in,” you said.
“I know, babe. I’m sorry,” she said. “I couldn’t push it. I tried telling Jake about what happened yesterday-”
You waved off her incoming apology. “It’s not you. I know Jake is only thinking dollar signs right now,” you said, thinking of your good for nothing agent.
“How long do I have to show my face at the club?” You asked.
“You can’t go to a club. There’s no way to secure your safety,” Terry chimed in from the kitchen.
“I have to. If I don’t, the single won’t get promoted. If the single doesn’t get promoted, it doesn’t sell. If it doesn’t sell, my ass is out of a job,” you said.
Terry’s jaw flexed as he took in the information you gave him. “There’s no way around it?” He asked.
“Ah, sorry. No,” Mirage chimed in for you.
“There’s going to be a lot of influencers there. Lots of cameras. I don’t know if you could have a bodyguard close by,” Mirage said.
“I can blend in,” Terry said.
You looked at Mirage and Joya before glancing guiltily at Terry. He caught on, a smirk stretching his lips. “Don’t think I can hang?”
“I mean…I wouldn’t call you a square…” you said.
Terry chuckled and nodded his head. “I can blend in, princess,” he said.
You stuck your tongue out at him and he chuckled, returning to cleaning up the kitchen. You shook your head and turned back to your team. You went over a few more details for the day, the logistics of everything.
“Ugh, I didn’t pack club clothes,” you said.
“Already have you covered. After the interview, you’ll have a few choices the label is sending over,” Joya said. She consulted her calendar and thousands of tabs and sticky notes. You marveled at the way her mind worked.
You smacked your teeth thinking of the type of clothes your label wanted you in. “Oh ye of little faith, girl! I already told them nothing silver, nothing sparkly, and nothing that’ll have your ass hanging out,” Joya said.
“I love you,” you said and giggled.
“I love you too, miss lady. We have fifteen minutes to get on the road before we’re late for your fittings,” Joya said.
“Ugggghhhhh,” you groaned, sliding off the couch like a toddler.
Mirage laughed and shook her head. “It’ll be painless. Well…as long as it isn’t Francois,” Mirage said.
You shivered from the floor. “I’m convinced he pokes me so many times to see if my ass is real,” you said. You all laughed and for a brief moment, you pretended that you were sixteen again with a circle of good friends, having a movie night. But those days were long past and gone.
“Alright, alright, alright. I’m getting up. Fuck,” you said. You stood up from the floor and collected yourself. You squared your shoulders, threw your head back, and took a deep breath.
Movement to your right made you turn to Terry who had stopped cleaning to watch you. He nodded his head at you and you nodded back. Yeah, you had business to attend to.
The fitting was a breeze. Luckily Francois was nowhere to be found so you didn’t have to grab bandaids as you were done with the fitting. That was the secret part you loved about being a musician. Playing dress up. Seeing the mix of fabrics and clothes and getting to see the hidden seams to allow for quick costume changes on stage.
The interview went just as well, talking with Brandi Harper, a journalist for Essence. She was cool, down to earth, making the interview feel like a conversation rather than a Q&A. You had bonded over your love for anime, discussing the different shows you watched.
She did end up asking about the A’Kierra interview that you did and you had to fight everything in you not to drag A’Kierra’s nasty ass. You only ended up shrugging and dismissing it. Why give that clown more ammunition?
Now, you were back at the hotel, getting dolled up for the club. Terry sat on the couch watching everyone like a hawk. He only allowed one make up artist and one hair stylist and only after he did his little background investigation on the both of them. Your team was loyal. You told him as much. Yet he still looked at everyone like any one of them could snap.
Angie worked on your makeup while Nicky worked on your hair. “You gon’ sweat this out?” He asked.
“Probably, yeah,” you said with a grin. Nicky rolled his eyes but laughed with you as he switched tactics. He quickly abandoned what he was doing and then undid your hair from the ponytail.
“You gon’ stress me out, chile,” he said.
“I love you, Nicky,” you said.
Nicky harrumphed and you blew him a kiss while he started to braid your hair. “You lucky I stay ready, miss thing,” he said. He grumbled about you while he got to work, braiding quickly and efficiently. That was why you paid to bring Nicky wherever you went. No one had hands like him.
Joya entered the circus that was your hotel living room carrying a garment bag over her shoulder. Mirage was in the corner, on the phone with Jake setting up details about the club.
You snuck a glance at Terry who caught you looking. You rolled your bottom lip into your mouth and Angie groaned. You apologized to Angie who had to switch tactics as well. “Every time, girl?” She asked.
You giggled. “You’re right. I’m a bad client,” you said.
She sighed and shook her head. “You’re lucky I like you,” she said.
“Oh, it’s my lucky night then. I need to do some gambling before we leave Vegas,” you said. You let Angie remove the gloss from your lips and went with a lip stain instead. It was a darker red than what you were used to but some sneaks in the mirror had you feeling yourself.
You may be a homebody but deep, deep down in your crevices, you liked to party too. Liked to dance and move and sing your heart out. Get some drinks going and you were the life of the party.
Joya managed to get closer and tapped the bag. “Got what you needed,” she said.
“Thank you,” you told her. “Terry? Can I see you please?” You asked.
Terry was by your side in a second, crowding your space. It wasn’t entirely unwelcome. You pointed to Joya. “I had her get some outfits for you as well. If you’re going to blend, I need you to really blend. And I doubt you have a club outfit in that duffel you carry,” you said.
“I’m good, thanks though,” he said.
“And just what do you plan on wearing to blend in then?” You asked.
He spread his hands and you looked at the black T-shirt and jeans he usually wore. You giggled and shook your head, much to Angie’s and Nicky’s frustration. “You cannot go to a club like this wearing your uniform, soldier,” you said.
“It’s a club,” he said. “No one’s worried about me.”
“Sheeit,” Nicky whispered. Angie elbowed him and he cleared his throat, returning to braiding your hair. He was already halfway through your head.
You were tempted to lick your lips to keep from laughing at the adorable, confused expression on Terry’s face. “You’ll stick out like a sore thumb if you don’t make some kind of effort. Please, indulge me. Otherwise I’d have to go in by myself and without you there to guard me, who knows what could happen?”
Terry’s jaw flexed. “I know what you’re doing,” he said. He grabbed the clothes bag from Joya who looked like a deer caught in headlights. She lowered her eyes and tried to back away as nonchalant as possible. Poor tink. You understood though. Terry was intimidatingly sexy as hell.
“I wouldn’t dream of pulling anything,” you said.
He gave you a blank stare before disappearing to his side of the suite. You turned to Joya with a grateful smile.
In no time at all, Nicky had your head braided and put on a wig. He flat ironed it and then pulled it into a half up, half down style. “Oh, I like this,” you said, looking at yourself in the mirror he brought.
“I know, I know. I’m the greatest,” he said.
“We’re running behind, let’s wrap it up soon,” Mirage called out, returning to her call.
What was taking Terry so long? You wondered which outfit he chose or if he’d stick to his uniform. You had to get dressed yourself so you went into your bedroom with Angie and Nicky to help put on your club outfit and make sure you didn’t mess up your hair and makeup.
The jumpsuit was sheer and looked painted on when you got it on. The back was out but it made your ass look extra fat. Oh, you were so keeping this. It had a tropical flower design on it that looked fun and perfect for the club. Partnered with your hair and makeup, hell, you’d fuck you tonight.
You left your room and Terry stood up. You paused, your heels near skidding on the floor. Got. Damn. He chose to wear a navy dress shirt with gold flowers on it. He left it buttoned all the way to the top and his black jeans made him look extra delicious.
He smoothed the shirt and looked at himself like he couldn’t believe how he got here. You giggled to get over your initial shock. “Not bad, Mr. Terry. Not bad,” you said.
“Don’t look so bad yourself,” he said.
You smiled and followed your army of people out of the hotel, to the waiting car. Terry opened the door for you and helped you inside. He went around to the other side, climbing into the back with you.
“Oh, not driving tonight?” You asked.
“I gotta blend, right?” He asked.
If he did any more blending, people would think he was a famous movie star. He pulled on some shaded glasses, completing the look while a member of your security team got in the front seat. Mirage and Joya would be in the follow car.
Sometimes they were your best friends. And sometimes they were your best employees. The ride beyond to the club was short, really only going from one hotel to the next. But because you’d be spotted instantly, it was somehow easier to take the car than walk.
Paparazzi lined the entrance to the club and those flashing bulbs immediately turned to your car when it was your turn. You took a deep breath, looking out at the sea of vultures. There were some fans mixed in.
“Guess word got out that I’d be here,” you said with a rueful smile. “Wondered who leaked that.”
Jake was such a leech. But you kept him around because if nothing else, he could hustle a dollar from a beggar. And for an artist determined to do this shit right, you needed all the money you could scrounge up. After living paycheck to paycheck growing up, robbing Paul to pay Peter, you had plans. You didn’t ever want to go back to the poor little girl you were before.
“We can turn around,” Terry offered.
You sighed. “No. We really can’t,” you said. You took a deep breath and pulled on your metaphorical armor. You pictured it encasing you in the hardest known element. Not a chink or weak spot to exploit.
You pulled on your own shades because the flashing lights left you dizzy. Terry’s counterpart got out of the car and then swooped around to open the door for you. Terry got out by himself and quickly walked around the car, offering you his arm.
The paparazzi resembled a feeding frenzy at the zoo. They called your name endlessly, squawking with demands to turn here, look here, give us a smile, give us a pout, who’s your man, and on and on it went.
You posed and waved to them all, playing into your persona. You singled out a few fans and took pictures with them, signing some autographs. You blew kisses as you walked up the club’s doors and the bouncer let you in without any fuss.
The sudden darkness of the club’s interior foyer after all the flashing lights gave you whiplash. You swayed on your feet and Terry steadied you with a hand on your hip. “You okay?” He asked.
You shook your head to clear it. “I hate that shit,” you said. But you were fine. You’d live.
“We made it,” Mirage said, coming up from the side entrance. She wore a simple black party dress that fit her full figure well. She pulled her braids back into a ponytail and added on makeup. You hugged her and then Joya who peeked out from behind Mirage. She had changed as well, into a pair of dark jeans and a flirty shirt.
“You both look amazing!” You said.
“Not as good as you!” Joya said. You waved them off. They were too adorable. Linked arm in arm, you passed through the curtains and entered the club proper. Nothing was small in Vegas on the strip. The place was huge, a mass of people gyrating on the dance floor, hanging out by the bar, or trying to make moves on each other.
You made your way to the VIP section. The section was already bumping with multiple artists bopping their heads to the music. Groupies hung around the various rappers and singers, each all similarly dressed in baggy pants and jerseys or oversized coats.
“You’re here!” Another singer, Alexandra Crane, beamed and then wrapped her arms around you. You screamed with her. The cute little singer from Atlanta had become a friend during a concert you performed together. You were glad to see that she ditched the other two in her group.
“It is so good to see you!” You said. You introduced Mirage and Joya and true to form, Joya fangirled.
“Oh, and who’s this?” Alex asked.
“This is my-”
“I’m her toy for the evening,” Terry said, extending his hand to Alex. She shook it but gave you an exaggerated wink. You waved her off and let your eyes adjust to the dizzying array of spinning neon lights in the club.
The dance floor was full of uncoordinated people jumping up and down to the same four club remixes on repeat. Ugh. “Have you seen Lord AK?” You asked.
Alex shook her head. “Are you meeting up with him?” She asked.
You nodded and bent closer to be heard over the music. “We’re promoting ‘Down Bad’,” you told her.
She smiled and nodded her head. “Oh my god, I love that song!” She said.
You flopped onto the couch with Alex and caught up, leaving Terry to sit beside you and scan the club for potential threats. You relaxed as the night went on, going shot for shot with Alex and your girls.
As the night progressed, some fans dared to approach and ask for pictures. Terry tried to deter them but you went against his orders, taking pictures anyway. It was incredibly brave to even ask. You wouldn’t deny them a quick picture and wave.
The club finally changed the music to something you could actually shake your ass too. The alcohol warmed your belly and had you feeling yourself. You grabbed Alex’s hand and made your way to the dance floor.
Terry grabbed your hand as you reached the bottom step of the VIP section. “I can’t protect you around all of them,” he said.
“I wanna dance. You can join meee, boy toy,” you sang, crooking your finger. Terry tilted his head and if you could see his eyes, you were sure he would be judging you. Ah well. You hadn’t had fun in a long time. Your stalker preferred to catch you unawares. The mask had been the creepiest contact so far.
The fanboy letters and poems were what really creeped you out. You shivered just thinking about it. But that was the point. You didn’t want to think about your stalker. You wanted to have fun.
Terry let your hand go and then you squealed, getting onto the dance floor and immediately started shaking your ass to the Ying Yang Twins song. You let go. You just followed the rhythm of the music and danced with Alex, pretending you were just a girl in a club, quietly hoping some man would come holler at you for a second.
You danced in a circle so that it would make you face the VIP section. Terry’s profile was turned towards you, eyeing you as you danced. You put extra flair into your sexy dancing. Swaying your hips, shaking your ass, flirting with him with your body from across the room.
He watched it all. He didn’t even pay attention to those around him. Didn’t give the waitress a glance as she lingered, hovered, trying to grab his attention. He lifted his fingers to wave her off and she left with a huff. That only made you smile and roll your body to the music.
The DJ scratched the record, getting everyone’s attention. Everyone turned to the DJ in the middle of the club, up on stage surrounded by a paneled wall full of screens with colors dancing in the display.
“Ya’ll ready for some hot, new shit? Fresh off the tracks?” The DJ asked. The club screamed.
“Ya’ll ready or not, damn!” The DJ asked.
Behind him, Lord AK stepped out with a microphone. “Call me a simp, ‘cause that ass got me mesmerized…” he started rapping the opening lyrics to your song. You screamed, just as shocked as everyone else.
Why didn’t Mirage tell you this was part of the plan? You looked towards the VIP section but Mirage wasn’t there. Were you supposed to sing as well? Were you just there to witness? This mickey mouse shit was unprofessional as fuck.
Lord AK seemed to know what the hell was going on because he made a beeline through the crowd to you, serenading you with his rap, grinning widely. Gahh, he was so damn cute. If he didn’t have some deep seated fucking issues, that would be your man for real. But after the scare last year at a party, he had disappeared for counseling.
Fuck it. You grabbed the mic from him when it came time to your part, singing to him, flirting with him and the crowd. You involved them, making them think that they were the ones you were down bad for.
Mirage’s head bobbed in the crowd. She gave you a harried look, waving a microphone covertly. You pushed on Lord AK’s chest and sang while backing him away. You grabbed the microphone from Mirage just as Lord AK leaned in for a fake kiss. You tapped the microphone on his lips and he grinned, grabbing the microphone and began the breakdown of the song.
There was a call and response in the middle of the song, getting quicker as the lyrics turned nastier. You and Lord AK circled each other, getting closer and closer, until you reached the climax of the song where you belted out the final lyrics. The club exploded with cheers and whistles.
The DJ played another one of Lord AK’s songs. The idea was to get people focused on the music, not his hiatus. You felt bad for him, really. He was a talented rapper. People should already focus on the music and not that he was going through shit. Everybody was going through shit.
Mirage fought her way to you, grabbing your microphone and Lord AK’s. “Fuckin’ Jake sprung this shit on me. By the time I knew, he was already in place and I couldn’t find you and…”
“Babe, breathe,” you said. Mirage stopped mid sentence and took a deep breath.
“I’m going to fuckin’ kill him,” she said, shaking her head and walking away.
“I’m sorry, I thought you knew. Somethin’ told me this shit wasn’t right, ‘cause I almost didn’t find you out here,” Lord AK said.
You waved him off and hugged him, covertly taking a deep whiff of his cologne. He smelled heavenly, like a mix of spiced flowers and sandalwood. You should’ve been having his babies. You inwardly groaned at the loss of your fictional family as you pulled away.
“It is so good to see you. Need some familiar faces, for real,” you said.
His grin was wide and genuine, his eyes no longer cloudy now that he got rid of most of his entourage. That whole group had been toxic and you were glad to see him on the other side of it. Healthy looked good on him.
However, back in his presence, his luminance seemed to dim. He no longer really turned your head. You only had eyes for – him. Terry remained in the VIP section but there was some unknowable expression on his face. You didn’t know him well enough to decipher this particular look.
He was always so damn grumpy. “How long you here for?” You asked.
Lord AK shrugged his shoulders. “Enough to be seen. Then I’ma dip. This club is ass,” he said.
“True that. Don’t leave without me seeing you again,” you said.
“You’re gonna see me in LA, girl,” he said.
“And what that mean!” You tapped his shoulder and made your way back to the VIP section. Most of it had cleared out but there were still a few movers and shakers talking, their phones out recording everything.
The lights began to go crazy, turning the VIP section darker as the lights danced in time with the club remixes again. “Having fun?” Terry asked when you got up the stairs.
“Are you? Have you gotten up once?” You asked.
“Mhm. Just sitting here. Enjoying the free concert,” he said.
You giggled, looking away. You wanted so desperately to ask what he thought of the performance. The words to excuse the behavior were at the tip of your tongue. You wanted to make it clear that it was all an act for you and Lord AK. That you weren’t really into him, ya’ll just had good chemistry.
But there was nothing to really explain, was there? You didn’t owe Terry an explanation. You grabbed two shots and handed him one. “If this was what you call blending in, it’s so bad. You scream cop,” you said.
“I look good, what you mean?” He asked. He smoothed down the front of his shirt and you shook your head with a giggle.
“You gotta drink. You gotta dance. Those are the rules,” you said.
“I don’t drink,” he said.
“Like a you can’t handle your liquor thing or is this a health nut thing?” You asked.
Terry chuckled. “Health nut?” He asked.
“You know you can be addicted to working out, right?” You asked.
Terry shook his head. “I don’t drink on the job,” he said.
“This isn’t a job. You’re blending. Blending means going method,” you said. Terry sighed and grabbed the shot out of your hand. He knocked it back without a grimace and you matched him, tipping the shot glass back and grinning at him.
The DJ gave the club remix a break and turned on Post Malone’s “Rockstar”. You squealed and threw up your hands. “I love this song! Dance with me,” you said. You grabbed his hand and tried to pull him to standing. He remained firmly planted in his seat.
“I definitely don’t dance on duty,” he said.
The alcohol made you petulant. At least that was your excuse and you were sticking to it. You gave up trying to get him to stand so you took another shot for courage and then began dancing in the VIP section.
The neon blue and purple lights danced across the shades he still wore. You couldn’t see his pretty eyes and you pretended that he was a famous person. Someone who understood what it was like to feel lonely in the middle of a crowd. That image quickly disappeared though. You didn’t want a fantasy.
You wanted to remain yourself. You wanted Terry to remain Terry. The inflexible, professional, gorgeous man who took your safety seriously. The same man who let you peek behind the curtain of his control earlier today. The same man who made you feel in ways you hadn’t in a very long time.
You turned around and began dancing for him. Just for him. Rolling your ass in a slow circle to the song, bending down as you did so, making your knees do most of the work to entice Terry.
He adjusted himself in the seat, tilting his head at you. “What are you doing?” He asked, his voice rough.
“Dancing with you since you won’t dance with me,” you said. You continued to dance, looking back at him every so often to make sure he was still looking. You grew more bold as you danced, now doing it just because. Just because he made you feel normal when so much of your life wasn’t.
You backed into his lap and mimicked bouncing on it. You grabbed his knees and ground your ass in lap, used him for support while you danced slower and slower. The thrumming beat matched the beat of your heart, turning you bolder.
You looked over your shoulder and bit your lip, still grinding in his lap. Terry took a deep breath but you weren’t making it easy for him. “You know you want to dance with me,” you said over your shoulder.
Terry leaned forward and grabbed your hips, slamming you down onto his lap. You yelped, feeling a third leg pushing at the fabric of his jeans. He placed his lips next to your ear and whispered, “Behave.”
You grinned and kept grinding and dancing on him, giving him a lap dance whether he wanted it or not. He didn’t stop you, only gripped your hips harder with his thick fingers. He slowly began to move with you, rubbing his bulge into your ass.
He moved one of his hands from your hips to trail a finger along your exposed, sweaty back. You gasped, feeling electricity pass from his fingers to your skin. You took back control by abruptly standing up, turning around, and climbing into his lap.
You continued your dance, wriggling in his lap. You bent backwards, stretched, and then rolled forward. Terry dragged a finger down your chest and you wished it was open in the front too. You liked his hands on you. You really, really liked his hands on you.
Your skin grew overheated, waves of heat rolling through your body. Terry gripped your ass and squeezed. You gasped and fell forward, knocked off your rhythm with just a firm grip. You ought to be ashamed you were that easy, but hell, who could blame you?
When he looked that good? Smelled that good? Felt so damn good?
Terry leaned forward and you steadied yourself on his shoulders. You braced for those full, lush lips to touch yours. Watched as if in slow motion as he leaned in. Your breathing was so rapid, your chest rose and fell.
Terry moved one of his hands to your face, bringing you closer by cupping your cheek. Your eyes drooped, too eager to get this over with yet wanting to savor every little second. His hand was hot against your cheek. His breath fanned across your face.
He bypassed your lips to bring his closer to your ear. “I don’t take advantage of drunk women,” he whispered. He licked your neck and you moaned, shivering as if someone dumped a bucket of ice water down your veins. “I like my women sober when they’re riding me.”
You gasped while he stood up and gently placed you on the couch. “Stay here. I’ll grab you some coffee.”
You stayed put while he disappeared to do just that. You stared after his retreating form, at a complete loss for words. You were hot and bothered. Your flabbers were ghasted. And you were so damn horny you thought you’d pass out.
Such a bastard. You fanned yourself as Terry returned with coffee and water, making you somehow drink both. He escorted you out of the club with a few stops to take pictures with fans. Despite whatever the hell he thought, you were not drunk.
He had you tucked into the car before you could say, “Cinderella”. There was nothing to talk about in the car. The interior was too tense. Too thick. Too cloying with the mix of cologne, perfume, sweat, and hairspray. You rode in silence back to your hotel, escorted to the room, and stood silently while Terry checked every nook and cranny of the room.
“Goodnight, Mr. Terry,” you sang lazily, heading to your bedroom doors. Terry crossed the living room to his side.
“Goodnight,” he said.
You stared at each other as you closed the doors at the same time. Finally alone, you turned and leaned your back against the door feeling like the biggest fucking loser on the planet.
Whew. Help yourself to some more treats! The Secret Terry Richmond Files | Part 1 | Part 3
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if this was a movie
summary — your book trope w/ hsr men!
includes — dan heng, gepard, blade, sampo, & jing yuan
tana's words — i watched project x and let me tell you I WANT THOMAS SO BAD. something about a skinny nerdy white guy will ALWAYS GET ME. and then it inspired me to write different tropes bc project x is very 2010s trope type shi
also check out my note at the end!
dan heng
⎯ you guys are: grumpy x sunshine
⎯ i feel like out of all grumpyxsunshine duos you and dan heng would be the most chaotic grumpyxsunshine because to some extent the both of you are equally as unhinged.
⎯ if you ever need someone to pull you back when you get too erratic? leave it to dan heng! if dan heng needs someone to make him not sound as assholeish? leave it to you! you two balance each other out in the most perfect way
⎯the two of you reminds me of that one tiktok sound where it's like
"that's just the way he sounds, he has an asshole voice. tell him he's okay."
"everything's great."
"dude."
⎯ you two are my FAVORITE kind of grumpyxsunshine couple because you two are both so chaotic??
⎯ your energy is just so bouncy?? like you can bounce all over the place and you're just so energetic and he's over here like meh...
needless to say, he does appreciate your energy. most of the time, he usually fuels it (he says something purposefully boring bc you always refute his his boring response). your entire being makes him smile (which is rare), and that's why you guys work out so well.
and to add to my point, dan heng is just as important to you as well. you have a lot of energy, which is a good thing, but sometimes it can lead to distraction/erratic behavior/etc. dan heng is always the person who tugs you back to earth. he's your rock in every situation: he's the logical reasoning behind your ideas, he's your pragmatist, and he's your gravity, keeping you still and calm when needed.
— and i also wanted to indulge more in my hc that you and dan heng are so chaotic together
he doesn't shut down your ideas. he just adds logical reasoning to them. those are two very different things. if you have a good idea (you usually do) that sounds reasonable (it doesn't even have to be extremely reasonable either), he'll full on encourage it.
— so you could literally have the most random and out of pocket idea ever, and as long as you back it up with some evidence (doesn't even have to be good), dan heng will approve. i think that's true love.
⎯ such a chaotic duo like you would sacrifice yourself for the world but HE would definitely sacrifice the world for you.
gepard
⎯ you guys are enemies to lovers
⎯ ik a lot of people expect like friends to lovers or something softer but NO you guys are enemies to lovers.
⎯ gepard is so HEADSTRONG and STUBBORN which is why i think he’s the perfect person for the enemies to lovers trope. like ofc his love is going to be so sweet and kind later, but the beginning…
you two are both going to be very determined and you will both fight for what you believe in. that passion makes you two such a good couple, and it also makes your love exhilarating and ongoing, bc that stubbornness you two share will never go away.
you guys definitely have silly little banter and those moments where you guys accidentally brush hands and you guys both blush. lingering touches that may insinuate another feeling that gets you hot
⎯ but you two are like stubborn af. so no confessing anytime soon! it would definitely be a slow burn romance because of your stubbornness and you two are just in denial
⎯ i want to talk a bit more abt you two being enemies: i guess you ideals differ because gepard is so devoted to his orders while you are more of a carefree spirit. you’re more of a rule breaker and he’s more of a rule follower.
⎯ at first you would have rather died than ever spoke to him. his uptight nature and the way he acted so proper utterly pissed you off. serval would have to be the only way you could converse w/ gepard w/o biting his head off
⎯ in the end, after some forced proximity, you two would def be developing some feelings.
⎯ with enemies to lovers, there will be lots of pining. which is why i think enemies to lovers is the perfect gepard trope.
since he’s captain of the silvermane guards at such a young age, he probably doesn’t have a lot of experience in the relationship department. so he’s stuck dealing with being hopelessly and utterly in love with you
everything abt the enemies to lovers trope describes your relationship. the initial hatred, the touches, the PINING, the middle ground.
⎯ after you guys have like a hot make out session i think all the feelings will be cleared up (LMAO)
blade
⎯ your trope is: second chance romance
hear me out: you guys both met in the past because you two were both stellaron hunters. however, the paths you two chose were different. you two were so in love with each other, but destiny had other plans.
now we are in the present, where blade sees you once again, and all his feelings come crashing back down into him. everything he’s suppressed about you: your face, your smile, your laugh; it’s all coming back up
⎯ ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THE VISION!!!!
⎯ you guys make your first encounter, and (depending on your own scenario) it either ends in longing or pain. blade hasn’t seen you in (probably) years.
when you end up spending more time together, the tension is THICK. old feelings are obviously not gone. body language is all pointing to you. breathing gets faster and why do you really want to kiss him????
⎯ something abt intense pining and sexual tension just gets me y’all
there’s obviously past feelings in the air, and none of you want to acknowledge it. so, you two suffice on brushing each others’ hands when you walk past each other, long stares from across the room, and watching each other’s every move.
between the both of you, you would make the first move. it’d be like an accident; it would be one of those movie scenes where the girl/guy asks, “is this weird?” and the guy goes IN and he’s like “not at all.”
⎯ and then the next day you both are freaking out bc what if fails like last time??
idk something about longing and missing someone dearly just screams blade to me. the thought of someone on your mind 24/7. blade having you on his mind 24/7??
sampo
⎯ you guys are: fake dating
⎯ i’m a little on the fence but hear me out
⎯ you two agree to fake dating because it’s both mutually beneficial. it would be no strings attached. plus, you would be able to get away from that one guy who keeps flirting with you, and sampo has evidence that he can commit to something.
⎯ but when does “no strings attached” turn to more?
suddenly, the once friendly arm around the shoulder makes your heart beat quicker. the wink he always gives you makes your stomach explode with butterflies. the friendly offering of a rose makes you blush more than you should.
you aren't the only one affected. sampo swears he feels his heart skip multiple beats after he hears you laugh at one of his jokes. when you took his hand into yours once (it was an act to fool others), his heart nearly stopped in his chest. and suddenly he finds himself making more quips and trying to get closer to you, even though he knows the risks.
⎯ now, you both are left confused with your feelings bc BOTH OF U DON'T WANT TO MESS IT UP.
⎯ you both did not think it would turn out this way. before this, you were friends making a beneficial agreement. you guys were fine.
⎯ that is a lie. i just lied. you guys always had some thought about dating each other. sometimes sampo looked a little too good, and sometimes sampo found your eyes a little too mesmerizing…
back to present time. there is so much tension to the point where you both want to explode. and then there are thoughts. maybe you want sampo to be your boyfriend for real. maybe sampo does want commitment. scratch that, because he doesn’t want commitment. he wants you. he just wants you, and that’s all.
⎯ now how do you confess? or do you just hold in the feelings
jing yuan
⎯ CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS. I WILL NOT BE ELABORATING BC THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR A WHILE.
⎯ ik he was training hard asf in his childhood, but that doesn’t mean u couldn’t have snuck in (i haven’t got far enough in the game to know if you can or not LOL)
⎯ you guys are cute little buddies, because the both of you probably had no friends! and bc of that, an adorable bond formed between the two of you.
growing up, that bond would remain unchanged. even though you lived down w/ everyone else while jing yuan was living seclusively, that never stopped you from seeing him
honestly, you thought you were always going to be best friends. but when someone asked you if you were ever going to get a boyfriend, you realized that the only person you could really see yourself with was jing yuan.
⎯ teenage you had a CRISIS. like you were freaking out after you uncovered your recent revelation. bc you can’t see yourself w ANY GUY EXCEPT YOUR BEST FRIEND??? YOU WANT TO DATE YOUR BEST FRIEND????
⎯ you think you are the only one that feels this way but it’s a LIE. bc JING YUAN FEELS THE EXACT SAME WAY.
after his training, once he rests, his mind constantly flutters to you. sometimes he scolds himself for not focusing on criticism or improvements because he’s too distracted by the fact that you’ll be coming over that day. his thoughts are literally you.
⎯ there was a period in time where you both thought about confessing, however, the whole fiasco w/ his mentor got into the way of that. it was messy, it was sad, and it was not a good time for the both of you. bc of that, you two both set back your feelings due to personal reasons (you wanted him to be emotionally better, he didn’t want to be a burden).
it was years later when you two confessed your feelings for each other. you two were both looking at a photograph of the both of you when you guys were younger, and you confessed you had a crush on him back then.
bro goes, “i have a crush on you too.” and you were like, “haha we should’ve told each other,” but then you’re like PRESENT TENSE!?!?!?
⎯ eventually it is a happy ending in the end! obviously. hehe.
tana’s words ⎯ sorry this was a little vague 😭 if you would like for me to elaborate on some of these scenarios, lmk in my ask box!
#tana writes (∗´ ᨔ `∗)#honkai star rail#hsr#honkai star rail x reader#dan heng x reader#dan heng x you#gepard x reader#gepard landau x reader#gepard x you#blade x reader#blade x you#sampo x you#sampo x reader#jing yuan x reader#jing yuan x you#book tropes#tropes
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The thing about Paul is that he is legitimately kind of unhinged in his willingness to throw himself into physical danger and risk getting hurt or killed in a fight that matters to him.
The way he goes NYOOM the second he realizes that Duncan is about to fight a fuckton of Sardaukar. No shield no weapons no plan no hesitation, ready to take on the most fearsome soldiers in the known universe in his pajamas. And he would have if Duncan hadn't locked the door.
Fly through a sandstorm because it's the only escape route? Never done it before but sure. Crawl under a moving harvester the size of a building with chompy bits on the end? Worst plan ever, let's go. Bait the ornithopter gunship into shooting at him so his crush can blow it up? It was his goddamn idea. Hide quietly when the Harkonnen soldiers show up during the eclipse? Oh hell no, he is looking for a way to escalate that situation immediately. He just killed someone for the first time like yesterday and did not enjoy it. But as soon as the Harkonnens are there he is ready to throw down.
The absolute trapped raccoon energy of him just grabbing the knife blade when Feyd's trying to stab him the second time, because it's probably over but he's not gonna make it easy, and maybe that gives him the extra second he needs to pull his own knife out. That teeth-gritted look he gives Feyd when he is on his knees, beat to shit, two stab wounds, blood all over his face, and is still like bitch you THOUGHT you could out-crazy me.
Like many things about him, it's a double-edged blade. Because it's what wins him respect among the Fremen, that he's willing to go to the front lines and not afraid to take risks. It's the most potent expression of his fierce protective streak, that he'll jump into danger to defend those he loves. And it's also fucking terrifying. It just adds such a chaotic energy to all the other ways that he is scary, that he doesn't just command armies of fanatics and have the power to make the Emperor of the Known Universe bow at his feet, but that this blood-streaked feral little gremlin might show up personally at any moment and stab you in the neck.
#he has the perfect temperament for guerrilla warfare no wonder chani fell in love with him#dune#dune part two#paul atreides#i fucking love that he is just a little bit nuts#(in this specific way in addition to all the other ways)#i hope they get to do some of the more unhinged shit from dune messiah like the bit when he's flying the ornithopter while [redacted]
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Title: fae love
Fandom: none
Characters: original character (orc), reader
Fic type: nsfw, story
Pairings: orc x male reader
Warnings: male reader, reader insert, nsfw, smut, reader has some description, boy pussy term used, reader is a fae, chaotic reader
Notes: I thought I posted this but I didn't, this is super indulgent, and yeah. Normally this would go through Patreon first but I'm feeling kind
🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️
(name) smiled as he was carried by the giant orc that was his mate, a towering ten feet tall to (name) 's five feet four inches, the pretty fae kissing the orc's olive cheek sweetly as they went back to their farm, a sweet little farm in the woods outside of town "I told you no more fires in non agreed fireplaces" he said gruffly to (name) who just smiled "you're the one who chose to become fated mates with me~"
The Orc sighed, looking at the gold ring on (name) 's finger and the wedding necklace, indeed he chose (name) for marriage, he did love his chaotic husband.
(Name) often treated his husband like a jungle gym, the tiny fae usually resting on his shoulder as he went about things and used his magic for various tasks "My love, please... You're awful at cooking" he swatted (name)s hand away when (name) tried to help by adding flower petals to the stew "but they make the stew look magical ~!" Was (name) 's reasoning as he watched the other stir the rabbit and vegetable soup "I added extra (vegetable), magical enough?" The orc gently kissed the other calf, tusks grazing (name) 's flesh, and (name) giggled "You romantic~"
(Name) always sat in his husband's lap when they ate and spoke about their days, (name) in the woods building little homes for the mouse village as they wanted to expand--- thankfully their building supplies were primarily popsicle sticks, the Orc gladly letting his love do that, especially since the mouse folk traded for mushrooms and herbs they find, it also kept (name) from causing mischief amongst the fae wilds, the two living outside the fae wild portal ring and often seeing passerbys that (name) would prank (read: setting their shoes on fire).
It was always a serene affair.
Well for (name).
When bedtime came, (name) carefully took off his jewelry as did his husband, removing any makeup for the night against the candlelight "Oh..." (Name) whispered as he felt his love's large hards easily spread his legs, rubbing the inside of his thighs "been energetic these days, causing problems..." The orc said as (name) leaned into his broad chest and felt the other large cock against his ass "Have no output for this energy..." (Name) said back breathlessly as he already imagined the sweet stretch of the other cock "need something... Big to help me relax" he cooed and grinned impishly when his large husband tossed him on the giant bed, something they invested in long ago.
The orc pulled down his pants, large girthy cock erect and heavy, a deep red tip that slowly turned green "pretty.." fourteen inches that (name) couldn't help but feel giddy as he crawled to the other and gently took the others cock in his hands, kissing the tip sweetly as he stroked the shaft with both hands, taking the tip into his mouth as he gently placed his hands on his abdomen and a womb tattoo appeared, already using magic to keep his body intact so the other could fill him fully, essentially an infinity spell to not kill him.
The taste of pre-cum made (name) hazy, fae pre-cum and the likes were aphrodisiacs, (name) 's eyes heavy as the effects of the tattoo began "Gonna take me well... Always do" the orc grumbled as he watched (name) stroke him off and trying to take him but sadly he just couldn't fit him in, not without using magic to warp his body.
And last time that happened it was horrific when he let (name) do the magic using.
Jaw unhinging and face distorting...the poor orc couldn't look at his husband the same for a week.
"Lemme see that ass" (name) let himself be manhandled into his husband's hold, upside down as he held onto the other cock while being held in the air, letting out a shaky breath when he felt his loves tongue lick from his balls to his ass and circling his hot tongue around the rim as (name) shakily stroked the orcs cock as his husband's long tongue went down to curl around (name)s cock, average in size but tiny to the massive orc who felt the aphrodisiac affects himself as his large fingers pushed into (name)s ass.
(Name) Whined and moaned as he felt himself fall apart, clinging onto the other's cock like a lifeline as his ass was finger fucked and his cock licked methodically "Please... Need it..." He needed that itch scratched, yelping when his husband smacked his ass "Behave" the other grunted as his tusks scraped (name)s lower ass cheeks.
(Name) Was manhandled onto his back, for a moment he felt giddy thinking he was getting the other big cock but let out a loud cry as his husband's index middle and ring finger fucked his ass aggressively, veins showing up on the orc's arms as he fucked as hard as he could against (name)s prostate as (name) climaxed hard but the other continued fucking through his climax, watching intensely.
He could barely muster words, the two having a safe word as their sessions got... Intense so the mewls of "stop" and "I can't!" Fell on deaf ears as the orc grinned at his lover's fucked out expression as he slowly pulled his wet fingers out "Your little ass-pussy is ready... You good there baby boy?" He asked as (name) whined "please..." (Name) Begged as he let his husband kiss him slowly, lining his giant cock to (name)s poor entrance and pushing in, shushing his whined at the sensation. no matter how many times they did it, it still stung as the orc slowly bottomed out.
"You did so good, my love" the orc soothed him as he let (name) adjust, no matter how much prep the sweet face needed to adjust for a few minutes as his body twitched helplessly "Big..." (Name) Whined as he felt his husband kiss stray tears.
The two stayed like this for a few moments before (name) gave the ok and the other slowly began thrusting, pushing out to the tip and pushing in, with each thrust he slowly picked up speed. "Oh! Fuck!" (Name) Gasped as he felt the other's balls slap against his ass, hips bruising as he was fucked like a doll.
"More!"
"Yes!"
"O-oh!"
Climaxes and moans, scratches and bites were all the things that (name) got and gave as his legs stretched with a slight burn, riding his beloved as his wings stretched out, previously hidden with magic as a harsh climax rolled through and the dust from his wings lifting them slightly "yes! Fuck me with that cock!" (Name) Scratched down the other's chest as he developed more fae features, unable to keep his magic back.
"Gonna cum in that pretty hole, take it all!" (Name) Collapsed as he was stuffed, stomach bulging as his husband filled his belly with cum.
"There... Keep you from setting trees on fire for a few days..."
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