#maybe this is bcs its still fresh in my mind but its so funny to compare this race to aus 2023

[skitskatdacat63]

2009 Australian Grand Prix - Jenson Button(ft. Rubens Barrichello & Jarno Trulli)

[obislittleone]

Your Beauty Never Ever Scared Me

Dbf!Joel Miller x College!Reader

A/n: Listen… I don’t have any excuse for ditching my other three active series except for tiktok made me do it… That, and the CLM series by @macfrog has ascended me to a new level of crazy and I just needed an outlet for it somewhere. Another shoutout to @theatrelove3000 who keeps putting up with my dbf joel shenanigans, they are indeed insane.

Warnings: girl this whole concept should be a warning but anyways… age gap, some fluff, light smut, uncomfortable situations with readers father… probably some editing mistakes bc ya girl is tired ok its 2am

Please be kind to this chapter, I actually like it, despite the horrors.

Decided on the song ‘Mary On A Cross‘ by Ghost for this one bc it fits ig.

MASTERLIST

Age gap is approximately 15 years or so, reader is over 21 and joel is about 37

"I think I'd probably only slow'ya down," you chuckled, looking to Sarah who seemed to read the displeasure off your face from your dad's offer. "I'm studyin' to be an archeologist, dad. I don't know nothin' about framin' and all that house buildin'..."

Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.

"You could work on interior stuff with me."

It had been almost three days.

You looked out the window to the front of your house repeatedly to try and remember it clearly. The drive home, the kiss, and how abruptly it ended with a promise to see each other around. You thought about it so often you almost wondered if it happened the way you perceived it, if any details had been skewed in your mind simply because you wanted to keep it there, fresh, untouched. Maybe he thought of it differently... but maybe he didn't.

"Did you bring home the stuff I asked ya?" Your dad came into the kitchen with a smile, embracing you with a side hug and turning to help you unpack the groceries.

"Course' I did, Pa," you handed him the bag with the six-pack of bud and the other one full of snacks.

It was the first Rangers game night, and as per tradition, that meant the company of the next-door neighbors. It had been a while since you'd been around to enjoy it, but now that you were back, there were quite a few more reasons why you were on edge to now participate. It would look weird if you came up with an excuse not to be there, and you knew that. You also knrw that you'd gotten into a rather complicated entanglement with your father's closest friend, and weren't sure what the outcome really was.

Had that driveway light not spooked you both apart, and had that little black stray cat not made an appearance, how far would it have gone? Things were pretty heated, but even still. Would he have said something? Maybe along the lines of 'I've known you since you were sixteen, and this isn't appropriate at all.'

You didn't have time to think about it, you were set to work on helping your dad cook dinner for the soon-arriving neighbors. Dinner and a baseball game, once a relaxing and enjoyable time to bond with your dad, now turned into an anxiety fest where you were convinced you'd have to walk on pins and needles around every topic.

"So," your dad piped up from his silence at the stove, stirring the pot of chili he'd been prepping. "Joel told me he gave you a ride 'few nights back."

You knew it was harmless, and that he wasn't asking for any reason, other than that he was probably curious. You hadn't seen Joel in a while, not since two Christmases ago. Your dad had driven up to Dallas to spend both Thanksgiving and Christmas with you last year, and you didn't come home for summer break given an internship opportunity. You must have seemed different to the man in some way. All grown up.

"Yeah, gave me a ride n' saved me at the bar," you chuckled, trying to seem playful and unsuspicious about the encounter.

He seemed to be confused, his brows furrowed and a funny look on his face.

"Whad'ya mean he saved ya?" he of course was continuing to speak all the while dumping his favorite spices into the pot of chili, looking across here and now to keep engaged.

"Just scared off some weirdo who couldn't take no for an answer," you let a sweet and genuine smile fall across your features, but didn't let it get out of hand. Your relationship with your father was airtight, and he could read you pretty damn well. You weren't going to give anything away, not with what was potentially on the line.

"Glad he was there," he replied with a chuckle, sending you a soft glance. "Never thought you'd have grown up so fast, now I gotta carry a shotgun whenever we go places. Fend off the wild beasts."

His jokes were only so funny now, because in this situation, you knew he wouldn't hesitate to shoot Joel if he found out what had happened. All in the nature of protecting you, but it made you sad to think of the situation that way. Joel wasn't just another weirdo following you around at a bar.

"It's only because I'm so pretty," you did your best to respond lightheartedly, making a quip that would soothe the silence. "And I believe that's yours and Mama's fault, givin' me the genes and what not."

You'd finished chopping a nice garden salad by the time the doorbell rang. You ran upstairs to change your shirt to the Jersey your dad bought you for your birthday, claiming it was good luck for the team. Truth be told, you didn't wanna be downstairs when Joel and Sarah got here.

Sarah was here, too. Her, you could easily handle. You were almost hoping that she would be in a rather talkative mood, that way the attention could be swayed to her inconspicuously. You doubted Joel would even try to talk to you, anyway.

"Lovebug, come on down, Millers are here!" Your dad shouted up, even though he saw you run upstairs right when the doorbell rang to change your shirt.

"I'm comin', hold on," you replied sassily while heading for the staircase.

You got to the bottom and had to take a breath before turning the corner into the entryway. Joel stood there with a sweet smile to you, and you tried your best to hold back the one you wore. It was too bright, too happy to see him. All despite your nerves.

You were quickly embraced by Sarah, whom you paid immediate attention to.

"My lordy, girl," you held up your hand by your shoulder to show the height difference, "last time I saw you, you must've been this tall."

"Dad tells me I'm growing like a weed," she tossed a finger over her shoulder to where he was standing, and you gave him a small glance and a smile.

"Us daughters do have a tendency to grow up," you laughed, slinging an arm around Sarah and pulling her along to the kitchen as your dad and Joel did the same behind you.

Why had you been so anxious? Joel is happy to see you. He makes causal conversation with your dad, but he catches your eye every chance he gets. His expression doesn't change, except for the tug of his lips in a smile that's barely there. Joel doesn't smile too often, except apparently when you and Sarah are around.

It doesn't take long for everyone to get situated with their food at the table, playful banter between Joel and your father filling the air as you made less rambunctious chatter with Sarah.

She's doing pretty well since last you saw her. She was always a bright girl, but as she grew it became more apparent that she would probably excel further than anyone in her graduating class. You were sitting across from a future valedictorian, you were sure.

You'd tried to ask her about her out of school interests before your dad interrupted with a question.

"How about you, lovebug?" He watched your eyes flick over to him with a turn of your head. He added context, given you hadn't been listening to them earlier. "Are you gonna look for a summer job?"

You really should, if you're being honest. There's not much work in your aspiring profession located here, but you weren't as lucrative as you used to be, given your educational expenses.

"I've thought about it," you tilted your head back and forth, and your dad seemed to need more from your answer. "I need to earn some cash before I get back to Dallas, but I'm not really sure where to apply."

Sarah seemed to know where this was going before you did. She'd been around the last time your dad was begging Joel to find some help for the contracting team they worked with. But surely your dad doesn't expect you to build houses, does he? Your dream job is to dig holes in the ground, not fill them in and put homes on top.

"We got some spaces to fill, you should come work with us 'few months. The pay's good and you don't have to stay on long, probably just till the end of July."

You gave him a look, and he instantly knew you weren't interested, but you figured you'd try and justify your reasoning. It was an argument either way.

"I think I'd probably only slow'ya down," you chuckled, looking to Sarah who seemed to read the displeasure off your face from your dad's offer. "I'm studyin' to be an archeologist, dad. I don't know nothin' about framin' and all that house buildin'..."

Maybe it had been your dad's idea, but he wasn't the one who planted it into his own head. Joel subtly turned to you and cooly uttered a response.

"You could work on interior stuff with me."

Did he just-?

"S'not much more fun than what your dad's been doin,' but at least it's out of the sun, and easier to learn."

You were almost dumbfounded. Your dad offering you a job that potentially could give you heat stroke with your lack of experience seemed like the worst idea in the world... but working on interior projects? With Joel of all people? Well, that didn't sound so bad.

You didn't want your dad to catch on, of course. Being so protestant of his suggestion, but then falling right into it as soon as Joel was the one to offer would be a dead giveaway to some sort of favoritism to his best buddy. It simply wouldn't look right.

"What kinda interior stuff?"

He smirked. The motherfucker was smirking. He knew you'd changed your mind, but couldn't exactly just come out with it. He understood, but it was still slightly amusing to him.

"Flooring, cabinets, countertops... 's things like that," he explained, knowing you really didn't care what all it entailed. He was still happy to play along. "S'not as fun as archeology, but it pays alright."

You nodded, acting as though you were turning the thoughts over in your head.

"Well, if you're sure I won't mess it up, I'd be happy to try it out," was your final response. You figured it left some leeway in case your father became suspicious, but gave a good enough answer to end the conversation on.

"That's my girl," your dad clapped a hand on your shoulder in excitement. Truth be told he would very much enjoy your presence on a work site. "I'll go ahead and call Eddie in the morning, let 'im know I found someone to replace Charlie for interiors."

It was said more to Joel, you figured, because you didn't really know who either of those people were. He'd nodded to your dad, taking a sip of his beer and then looking back to you. You smiled sweetly, nobody catching it but the one it was meant for.

"Game's gonna start soon," Joel spoke aloud, drawing everyone's eye to the clock over the stove.

Sarah cleared her throat before jumping in on the conversation.

"About that," she looked to her dad with the same puppy dog eyes she used to use against you. He was just as poor at saying no to her when she pulled those bad boys out. "Sammy texted me to ask if it's okay to stay over at her place tonight?"

Joel sighed. He knew that no matter the attempts he made for her to like baseball, it wasn't her thing. It was summer vacation, and he had no reason to say no, so he didn't.

"Is she coming to pick you up?" He began, fishing his keys out of his pocket to drive her if need be. The girl lived five minutes away, he'd be back only a few minutes after the game started, but he didn't really want to leave.

"I can ask her," she pulled her phone back out of her jeans, opened her screen, and checked her messages.

"No need, I can take you," your voice rang out, standing from the table and taking your bowl to the sink. It was a genuine offer, but it was also to get out of the house and process what just happened with the job situation.

Joel was the first one to stand up with you.

"You don't have to-"

"It's fine," you cut him off, leaving no room for discussion. It was lucky he liked you, otherwise, Joel Miller might have put up quite the argument for such a small dilemma. As was his way, of course. He huffed, but accepted he had been overruled.

"Thanks, then." It was mumbled, but there was gratitude in it.

"We gotta hop over to ours real quick and grab my stuff," Sarah told you, waiting for you to return from the kitchen before beginning to head out through the front door. You'd grabbed your keys off where they hung on the wall before going behind her.

"I'll be back soon," you called over your shoulder into the house, and got a chirped 'alright' reply from your dad.

You walked out passed your driveway, seeing the light flicker on as you both went passed the censor on the ground.

"Y'know, I didn't think you'd have caved so fast on that job thing." She had piped up once you were almost to her porch. You found it only slightly funny that she chose the exact topic which had been swirling in your mind since it happened.

"Not sure I really wanna do it, but your dad made it sound better than every time my dad's talked about it, guess he just convinced me," you chuckled, playing it off in a way that she absolutely was about to use against you.

"That's another thing," she turned to you as she backed into the house through the door, only turning once she was inside. "Since when are you friends with my dad?"

She said it in a joking tone, but having known a few things she didn't about interactions that occurred between you and her father, you felt constricted to answer seriously. Probably with a lie if need be.

"I've always gotten along with your dad," you gave her a confused look, accompanied after by a playful smile.

She grabbed her backpack and opened it, checking to make sure she'd taken all the school stuff out before starting to shove things in, her charger, headphones, etc.

"Yeah but... you're just all young and cool and stuff," she shrugged, turning around to walk towards the staircase. "My dad is all old and boring and only talks about baseball."

"Thirty-seven isn't old, babe. My dad is two years from fifty, and I don't even think he's old, yet. Boring? Maybe..." you reasoned, hearing her laugh before she sprinted up the stairs, giving you time to think of some answers before she asked any more questions. Had she really caught onto you that fast? You didn't think you'd acted noticeably. If Sarah was able to see it, then maybe your dad did, too. You needed to be more careful, in that case.

Sarah returned a few minutes later, her backpack now stuffed and her pillow under her arm. You nodded out the door and headed back to your driveway to open the door for her, seeing as though her hands were full.

-

The drive after Sarah had been dropped off felt so much longer. Maybe it was just your thoughts, or maybe you consciously drove slower to avoid getting home too quickly. Your dad was waiting, but above that, Joel was there, too. Probably sitting back on the leather couch, relaxing with his feet kicked out on the floor. He usually leaned onto the armrest with his elbow, and held his face against the hand it supported. You'd noticed it years ago. He only ever spoke up when your dad did, usually in reply to him.

He was content simply watching the game in the presence of a friend. It was endearing.

When you pulled into the driveway, you had come up with an excuse to not remain downstairs for the duration of the game. It was too risky, and you weren't apparently as good with self-control as you'd thought you were.

You went inside and hung up your keys on the hook, immediately passing the living room on the way to the stairs.

"Hey, lovebug, you missed the top of the first," your dad called. He knew you liked baseball, so if you were to lie and say you didn't want to watch, he'd know something was up.

"Y'know, pa, I think I'm just gonna watch it upstairs, I forgot I still got some stuff to unpack," you peaked your head into the room to respond, and saw that Joel, just as you had pictured, was sitting in his most usual position on the couch, feet out on the floor, arm up with a hand holding the side of his face.

"Can't you do it later?" Your dad pleaded, but you knew, seeing as how your father occupied the recliner, you would have no where else to sit but on the floor or next to Joel. You didn't trust yourself with that.

"I could, but I might fall asleep if I wait too long."

He sighed, throwing an arm in your direction and shooing you away. He wasn't annoyed, but he'd admit he missed watching these games with you. It had been like a tradition, but if Sarah wasn't here either, he wasn't gonna make you stick around.

"Sure you don't wanna stick around? We could use your lucky jersey down here," Joel piped up, lifting his face from his hand and giving you a pair of soft eyes. That was exactly the reason you would not be staying. He didn't even realize how much he affected you, but you'd make sure he did at some point. Maybe you could just tease him a little.

"You're right, it would be a shame to take the lucky jersey with me."

You walked behind your dad's chair, out of his sight, and tauntingly stripped the jersey over your head, revealing the tight black tank top beneath it, just like that night at the bar. Joel's jaw clenched and his eyes turned darker, even under the bright light of the flatscreen in the living room. You never took your eyes away from his as you slung him the jersey.

"Hey pa, can I get you anything from the kitchen before I go upstairs?" You leaned over the back of his recliner, looking at him upside down. He chuckled and shook his head, trying to move your hair from obstructing his vision.

"We're all good, lovebug," he spoke in addition to his physical response, his laughter dying down as you stood back up. "Come on down if you change your mind."

"I'll probably be down later," you spewed a half-lie. You weren't sure if you would be or not, especially if Joel was still lurking in the living room.

You gave those brown eyes one last look before heading straight upstairs.

You grabbed your remote and flicked on the TV. It was already on the right channel, so you tossed the remote aside onto your bed and flopped back into it. You didn’t actually have anything left to unpack, but they would never have known.

Your phone buzzed beside you, and you lifted the screen to your face to see a text from an unsaved number:

Missin you down here…

You’d never put Joel in your contacts, because in highschool, your friends thought it was weird to even text or call him regularly, but you had his number for years, always just as a backup. You’d known it by heart, now, and nearly had it memorized back then, too, for the times you needed his help.

I’d come back if there was an open seat.

A bit sassy of a response, maybe, but you were hoping he’d understand the hidden meaning behind it… Although, Joel didn’t usually pick up on those things very easily.

Open seat right next to me

Yeah, that’s why I’m up here…

You huffed, realizing it wouldn’t be that easy. The three little dots indicating his next response was on the way slightly nerved you. Maybe he took the last text you sent the wrong way. You didn’t mean it to sound badly.

What’s that supposed to mean?

Means that I can’t keep my hands to myself.

You quickly rectified the situation, although you might have gone too far. He was taking far too long to answer, now. The little dots that before nerved you would now be your saving grace if it meant he would just fucking respond, already. You dropped the phone on your chest, raising up and down in a scattered rhythm while you wiped your hands over your face. Your phone vibrated over your shirt and you immediately opened it.

I can’t either. Stay up there.

You breathed out a sigh of relief. He was thinking the same things you were, and likely was under more stress for it, given he sat right across from your dad, responding to his comments about the game here and there. Your dad had no idea what was happening right under his nose.

Wasn’t thinking about leavin.

This little back and forth went on, the majority of the game, in fact. It was more-so about the plays then on, because you didn’t have anyone to talk to up here.

Joel thought it a bit funny, your dad would say something oddly specific about one of the players, and then you’d text him right after saying the exact same thing. You’d been a product of watching baseball with your old man for just about ever.

“I’m thinking about gettin’ some tickets over the summer for a game or two. They’re always cheaper in them group packages, you n’ Sarah should come along,” your dad was barely paying any attention to the words he spoke, but they came flowing out anyway, clear and cool. “Could be fun.”

Joel knew that there was only so much group interaction he could handle with you, and you with him. It stands to why you’re upstairs, an he’s down here, fist wrapped tightly around your lucky jersey. All out of your father’s sight, of course.

“It could be. Don’t think Sarah’s much for baseball anymore, though.”

He’d hoped that your dad would drop it. Halfway through his third beer, he hoped the man was a little more than tipsy, and maybe didn’t even mean the words he was saying.

“Doesn’t mean you can’t still tag along,” your dad was definitely still sober enough to keep it up, although the way he spoke became slower. Maybe he was getting sleepy.

“I’ll think about it.”

His response was followed by a hum, then a lull of silence that endured the rest of the game. He sat all the while and thought about his predicament a bit more.

He couldn’t stop thinking about you. It was insane… like you’d leeched yourself to the inner workings of his mind and he wouldn’t be able to pull you off without hurting himself, too. You were just upstairs, and had been texting him. You were within his vicinity, and yet… so unreachable.

He’d wished for you to be down here, or for him to be up there with you. Obviously, that wouldn’t go too well with the man sitting next to him, but he’d be asleep soon. If he could just touch you again, just kiss you one more time, maybe his cravings would be satisfied and he could go about his days… but what would happen if he kept feeling the addictive urge to do more? What if he was never satiated enough to quit you?

The game was called, and you’d texted him a small ‘victory’ at seeing the Rangers had won.

It was wrong, and the presence of his friend beside him was a constant reminder that you were his kid, and he would have a final say. Even though you were an adult, he understood this was completely taboo, and you should be off with guys your own age... but he’s made up his mind about the thoughts spinning in his head.

He didn’t respond, though. Your dad stood up out of his chair, his arms stretching outwards with a loud yawn as he took a few steps forwards, clapping his hand down on Joel’s shoulder.

“I hate to kick you out…” your father joked, a low and tired chuckle under his words.

“It’s alright, I got some stuff to sort out anyway.”

They started making their way towards the door when light but fast footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.

Joel turned quickly, a smile on his lips and in his eyes when he saw you trying to catch your breath after sprinting down here.

“Leavin’ already?”

They both laughed heartily. As if Joel hadn’t been here almost three hours, most of which you spent upstairs. Your heart was beating far too fast for your liking, but there didn’t seem to be a way to stop it. Now that you were present again, in the room with him, you didn’t know what else to do.

“Your dad’s half asleep as it is, if I stay any longer I’ll send ‘im into hibernation,” Joel’s response made you giggle softly, although you withheld most of the laughter, because in all honestly, it wasn’t that funny, and you needed to learn to control yourself.

“He’ll be over next week, we’ll talk about gettin’ you into that job.”

You nodded, turning back to Joel as your dad opened the front door. What were you supposed to do? You couldn’t hug him, could you? That’s too much… maybe just wave, or maybe-

He held his hand out… for you to shake it. A hand-shake. Yeah, sure, fine.

You shook it, but he pulled you in half way, tapping your back once and then letting go.

He just bro hugged you. This man just-

He turned and did the same to your dad, giving you one last glimpse as he stepped out the door. Your dad closed it behind him and you were almost clean out of words to say. That had to have been the strangest interaction you’ve had.

“I’m beat, love-bug. I’m gonna head to bed,” he slung an arm around your neck and kissed the top of your head before turning and going down the hall to the stairs. “Don’t be up too late.”

“I won’t, just got a few things to do.”

You waited approximately ten more seconds before running to the garage door, going as quickly and as quietly as you could through to your front yard. Joel was still on his porch when you got out there, but was about to go inside.

You ran out to the sidewalk in font of his house and called out to him, all the while still barefoot.

“Hey Miller,” you crossed your arms, watching him turn around and lean in one direction. “Did you just bro-hug me? Or did I imagine that?”

He stepped closer to the edge of the porch, leaning against one of the wooden beams closest to him.

You slowly walked up to him, tilting your head to side as you observed his stance. he looked rather good. Hair tousled, body adorning a black t-shirt and some dark jeans. He was a sight, even in the dark light of the neighborhood.

“I reckon I oughta’ try again?”

"Seems like the fair thing to do."

“You’re takin’ your sweet time, baby,” he irked, grabbing gently under your elbow and pulling you up onto to porch once you were close enough.

You smiled to him, and wrapped your arms round his neck, over his broad shoulders. He pulled you close, tucking a head into your shoulder. The anxiousness you felt before fell apart, the rapid beating of your heart slowed, because you were comfortable. You felt immense peace in his arms like you’ve never felt before.

He backed away too soon, but still kept you relatively close to him.

“Was that better?”

“Yeah, I’d say so.”

There was a moment of silence, of contemplation, but it wasn’t stiff, and it wasn’t awkward. It was just there, a nice and pleasant quiet, and you standing still with Joel Miller on his porch.

“You wanna come inside a while?”

Sarah wasn’t home, and wouldn’t be till morning. Your dad was probably passed out in bed by now, leaving the opportunity completely open. You had nothing to lose, no risk to be had.

“Yeah, I think I will.”

He didn’t let you go, he just walked you both backwards until he was able to reach the door, reaching with one hand to open it before stepping slightly to the side to allow you entrance first.

“Ever the gentlemen,” you smiled, walking inside before he followed you in.

“Gotta make up for all that nonsense earlier,” he closed the door, taking your hand and walking to the kitchen. He pulled out a stool at his counter and let your hand fall to your side as he made his way to the fridge.

He pulled out two beers and uncapped them with the tool hanging on the side of his fridge. You think you remember your dad buying it for his birthday one year. You can remember sitting in this exact seat many times before, actually. Never alone, though. Never just you and Joel, and nobody else near.

He slid you one beer an you smiled at him in thanks, taking a sip.

“Last time you had one of these, I didn’t know if you liked it or not,” he gestured to his own bottle, drinking some and setting it down on the counter.

“I don’t know, I think it’s growing on me.”

He looked straight to you, leaning both hands on the edge of the counter. You leaned forward, mimicking his more stern face of features before he said anything else.

“I didn’t wanna say so with your dad around, but you look awful pretty tonight,” he spoke the compliment smoothly, but he had to drop his head after he said it. Seemed that giving you compliments alone in the night was something of a struggle for him, since he was blushing still even when he looked back to you.

“I seem to be feelin’ a lot prettier as of late whenever I’m around you. Think you’re just good for my self esteem,” you paused, leaning back onto the stool to take a drink of your beer. “That, or it's just nice to be complimented by a handsome guy like yourself.”

He didn’t seem to believe you. His scoff was loud and heard immediately after your compliment returned to him.

“You think I’m handsome?”

He’d always thought he was average. Maybe even slightly below. As he got older, that notion grew until he felt that maybe he was beyond trying for a woman on behalf of his looks. Perhaps there were women from time to time that would agree to a date, but there were none since Sarah’s mom who actually stuck around, not until you… but you were different as far as relationships go, because technically, you shouldn’t even be considering one with him.

“Absolutely, I do. Why wouldn’t I?” You were curious, because he was clearly attractive. Maybe you’d spent too much time around the more traditionally preferred young men in dallas, but something about Joel intrigued you that never did with anyone else. Maybe it was the forbidden aspect of what you two were doing, but before that, it was something else. He was rough and rugged, and good looking in a mature way that the boys your age couldn’t mimic if they tried. Those dark brown eyes with little crows feet at the edges every time he smiled were a dead give away to his age, but it was so appealing somehow.

“Don’t know. Guess I’m just old,” he spoke, trying to hide the insecurities that phrasing brought about. He was too old for you, he shouldn’t be sitting here with you you alone and calling you pretty, and yet…

“Maybe that’s a good thing. Too many boys my age are still very immature these days.” And it was very much true. Too young, too immature, and too stupid to see what’s in front of them and really appreciate it. Older men have a tendency to take care of the things they have, because they know that with time they can lose them.

“That so?”

“Mhm.”

“They don’t even realize what their missin’ out on, do they?”

You shook your head in reply. Nope. Not a single one of the younger guys you’ve dated has treated you with the care you know he could. He’s always treated you with care, before… why would that change now?

“They probably figure there’s a million girls linin’ up after me that they can take a shot at,” you raised your eyebrows and drank some more. Maybe it was just a thought of some past experiences, but this beer was tasting better and better to you.

“I pity them,” he said nonchalantly, without really thinking about it.

“Who, the girls? I mean, I kinda feel bad, but other times, I think we all know what we’re getting ourselves into n’ we just try to ignore the red flags.”

It was meant as a joke, but he was being genuinely serious.

“No, the guys. I pity ‘em.”

“Oh, do you?”

“I do,” he nodded, thinking of the right words to say. “They lost you, didn’t they? Biggest mistake of their lives and they didn’t even know. Pity ‘em just for that.”

You didn’t know what to say. You figured the wide smile you wore was doing a fine enough job, but he wasn’t looking like he had anything else to voice yet.

“You think I’m somethin’ special, Joel Miller?”

He set his bottle down on the counter and walked around it to stand right in front of your barstool. He took both your hands and pulled them to his chest, just holding them there and looking to you with the sweetest expression you’ve ever seen from him. He’s so different than what you remember in your earlier years. He used to be so stoic and serious. Sometimes even a little grumpy. Guess time changes things.

“I wouldn’t be gettin’ myself into sum’ this crazy if I thought anything else,” he mumbled it almost, but he definitely meant it. His words rang true in every aspect of the implications they made. This was crazy, it was very unlikely in the first place, but even still, it was happening. Neither of you backed down, neither of you said no.

“If it helps, I happen to think you’re pretty damn special, too.”

He didn’t respond, just leaned closer towards you, nudging his nose against yours, before letting your lips meet in a kiss. it washed rushed and hazy like the last time. It wasn’t forceful or fast or anything of that sort. It was gentle, and it was meaningful. All the years he’d known you, but never like this. You knew this attraction was new, but it was still real. You wondered how many women pined after him over the years, only for you to now gage his attention when clearly no one else did. The man’s been single since Sarah’s mom left, and otherwise, you didn’t know him to be much of a ‘dating around’ kinda guy. Standing here with him, now, you felt such excitement in knowing he’d pursue you, the off limits woman, over anyone else. It was a true victory, or at least you thought so, sitting on a stool in his kitchen while he kissed you softly, his thumbs going over the backs of your hands that still lingered in his.

When the kiss broke, you inhaled deeply, the scent of him so close to you, surrounding you. He was like a warm blanket you just pulled out of the dryer. He was comforting, and soft, and his skin was currently hot to the touch. You could only hope that you had something to do with that.

“Baby,” he breathed, hands letting go of yours and finding a new home at your waist. You left your hands on his chest, feeling his heart rate fluctuating. “Gotta know something before this goes any further…”

You hummed in response, still trying to even your breath intake. He backed away a few inches to be able to look you in the eyes correctly. He’d spent enough time with you in the past to know if you were telling the truth, and he was going to use it just this once to his advantage.

“What we’re doin’, you sure you’re okay with it?” He knew better than to jump into this without clarification. “Don’t want you feelin’ pressured if you’re not.”

“I want this,” you spoke softly, just loud enough that he could hear. “Promise.”

You had thought you’d been the instigator to this, if memory serves you correctly. Even still, you know now that whatever happens, he won’t take it somewhere you don’t want it to go. This show of good faith was something you could put trust in him over. He’s a good one, you always knew that.

And again his lips were on yours, differently this time. It was a bit more hasty and fervent like the first time, but there was still something different from then that you couldn’t quite decipher.

You absent-mindedly opened your legs and he instantly came between them, letting your bodies become flush with one another. His hands ran up and down your sides, every once and a while dipping to your hips and somewhere below on your thighs.

There was a heat between them that you didn’t realize was there until he came so close to touching it. He never actually did, though, and you were both endeared by and upset about it. He was the one making that heat spread, he can’t just leave it there… but he’s testing his limits, and you think it’s respectful that he is.

He doesn’t want to cross any lines… as if this entire entanglement has not already done that. This situation in every sense of the definition, has crossed the line. Him hugging you that tightly on his porch, him inviting you in after dark when it’s only you and him alone, having a beer with some very personal conversation, and now making out with you in his kitchen. They all crossed the line of what should happen between a man and his best friend’s daughter.

“Tell me to stop,” he mumbled against your mouth, almost as if reading your mind. His hand on your thigh drifted between your legs, just barely caressing the heated pool sitting there, waiting for him. It was still very reserved, and you had to buck against his hand for more friction, but at least it was something.

The taste of him somehow made it worse, the feeling growing inside you without an end in sight. The arousal was evident, but you weren’t sure he would be able to do anything about it, yet. You could tell it was weighing on his mind, what was okay for him to do, and what wasn’t. You would beg him if you had to, you just needed more.

He had an idea, one that could allow both of you to explore this dynamic easier, and one that could potentially keep him from overstepping like he was afraid to.

He removed his hands only for a minute, bringing yours up and over his shoulders before he settled his back down below your ass.

“Hold on,” he told you, lifting you from the seat and walking until he got to the living room. From there, he let the space guide him until the back of his knees hit the edge of the couch. He sat almost abruptly, and when you relaxed your weight onto him, you felt the stirring between his legs as well. You moaned into his mouth at the mere size and feeling of it, beginning to slowly grind down onto him. He encouraged your movements, and used his hands to guide your hips as you went, back and forth, getting into a rhythm.

“That’s it, baby,” he praised, tearing himself away for a moment to expel his breath from his lungs at the new feeling. Your head fell against his, and suddenly it was the movement of your lower half taking you over.

He let his hands move over your body a bit more freely, now, but still careful not to make any harsh movements, or grab in places he felt he shouldn’t linger too long. He knew you wanted this, but something inside him questioned how comfortable you really felt… that was until you started doing the same, roaming his body with your delicate touch, making him feel like the most important man in the world. You could have sworn you marked the exact moment he snapped, rolling his hips upwards into yours shamelessly. It was so deliciously addicting, the feeling of his body pleasing yours, and vice versa. His rough and sturdy hands, though still gentle, ravished any part of you available to him.

The air between you was hot and thick, and you could swear that by breathing it in, you were drawing even more arousal into your body.

The motions kept going until there was a quickening of pace brought on by you both simultaneously. You couldn’t mark a distinction of when it increased, you just knew that the speed you were going wasn’t where you started. All you could think of was that your spend was fast approaching, and you wondered if his was, too.

“Gettin’ close,” you murmured, barely able to get the words out for the moans that slipped passed your lips. “M’gonna…”

He heard you, and understood. Truth be told, he’d started getting hard since that moment on the porch, so this was just nothing but sweet relief to him. He kept on, trying to meet you at your finish.

“Let go , baby.”

You had no qualms about being told twice when it came to him. You gave it up easily, the muscles in your body contracting when you felt the wash of utter ease through every inch of you. He tensed beneath you, but relaxed with a groan of relief right after, and you could feel his length twitch in his jeans.

You just dry-humped Joel Miller on his couch. Like a horny teenager. What the fuck.

The dawn of realization was cut short by his hand softly coercing the back of your neck, bring your lips back for him to claim as he did earlier. Soft, and gentle, no rush, no heat. Just that feeling between you both that started this mess.… and it was indeed a mess.

“You wanna stay over?”

-

Tags (open):

@justanothersadperson93 @moonchild-warrior @hopplessilse @brittmd115 @michilandcof @untamedheart81 @just-someone-broken @joelalorian @xybil @yvonneeeee

If i tagged you wrong, or you want to be taken off at any time, just lmk!!

[coredrill]

this post is not abt bravern but it Is abt my Bravern Feelings

i miss this show so much already SOBS. i did enlist another g roup of irl friends to watch it w me though and we are starting tomorrow so yay :] and also beware the rewatch posts

[guy who has said that i'm glad i watched this live every week voice] i'm rly glad i watched this live, but this time its bc. i think there is something so truly and genuinely special abt the way that the theories abt bravern himself evolved week to week.........like at first everyone was like Well maybe he's an evil alien who is gonna Kill isami. and then everyone was like Well maybe he's a death drive and isami is his lulu. and THEN everyone was like Well there's still some knuth in there so. but none of that was the case!!! none of that was true!!! it was literally just this one guy and all of the love he has and Absolutely Sucks Shit at expressing!!!!!!! and i just. idk. that hits me rly hard that maybe it was percieved as sinister at first just cause it was a little Off but in the end it was something really really sweet :] it also just feels like yet another way of the show doing its "we know audiences aren't willing to accept optimism at face value these days" schtick like they mentioned in that one interview and just. showing how bravern himself evolves in the eyes of the viewer. it's rly special to me :]

i know bravern speaking german in ep2 was a nod to the translator he uses on superbia later but. what if someone loved you so much they became german (if i ever mention kyouji again in a bravern context just fucking shoot me)

WILD to watch the finale and then see the isami hate train take off FKSJDHFJ cause i feel like i adored him so much in that ep LMAO. my guy really felt every emotion known to man in the span of 22 minutes and then started makin gup new ones. he's very human!!! and i love that abt him!!!!

although some takes. i'm ngl. i know we joke abt subtext and cowards but it becomes less funny when the subtext that is there is missed LMAO

sorry to keep bringing up ep4 but i think its SO interesting how like. the way that bravern seems to helps isami out emotionally in that ep actually ends up not helping him in the long run aswell? like getting to know all those ppl care abt him is good ofc but it also feeds Directly into his hangups in ep5. and i remember being a little confused as to Why that was the case on first watch cause ep4 was So abt his beef w lulu (FLSDKJFH) but w the smith being a human again thing in the end it makes. so much more sense!!!!! i can't wait to rewatch the show w it still fresh in my mind and find even more!!!!!!

and omg the beef with lulu. literally nothing is funnier to me than "we are gonna have one Rival Fight in this show and that position is gonna be filled by isami and smith's fucking KID" SOBS. LIKE. it kills me FKSLDJFHL. though i will say again that i think it is So fucking special that in ep10 lulu specifically calls out isami taking care of her after smith dies and it apparently happens to such a degree that like. he is worth her time traveling back to save independently aswell? even though there was no way that he "took care of her" for more than a couple days? which i think just says so much abt isami in the sense that like. at no point before ep6-7ish in his arc would he have even entertained that idea. uwu

i think i said this before but ikd if i included the screenshot but. the fact that while bravern is dying he sees THAT SAME FUCKING PICTURE is just evidence that men do not take enough photos i think

there is literally Nothing more onbrand for bravern than the fucking. "ep13 abema listing" (if anyone who has not heard abt that sees this. it was just a rebroadcast of ep12 mislabeled) sending everyone into a tizzy regarding like. Secret Episode Question Mark except half of everyone being convinced its an april fools joke and the other half being convinced that the april fools joke is that we didn't expect it. and then it turns out to not be interntional atall and the real april fools joke is Fry Pan. SOBS

Crunchyroll I Am Begging You If You Dub This Please Dub The Songs Too Oh My God (<- delusional)

anyways!!!!!!!!!!! again i know recency bias is the killa but god. i really loved this show a lot!!!! it might be an alltime fave story for me in general!!!!!! even if it's not it was a really special experiance and story on the whole and i'm just really really happy i get to carry it in my heart forever :]

[mikomikono]

hi miko! im here with a fic writing question… i was thinking about how to make smut good bc recently i feel like whenever i get to the smut part of the fic im writing i get super bored, like im just rehashing whatever ive been writing in every smut scene ive done for years. you and endles came to mind bc i always find your guys nsfw scenes really compelling, and great, and unique. while also being hot and fun (very important w smut!!) so i wanted to ask if you had any tips for keeping things exciting or fresh when you are tackling those scenes! especially because you guys have experience writing the same characters many times over and manage to be so creative and distinct with every scene ive read from you. so, i guess, penny for your thoughts, if you feel like it! (sorry for sending this only to you and asking for both your opinions, it was the simplest 😭. if u want to answer yourself only thats fine haha)

❤️

Heyyyy oh my god I never expected to become someone ppl would come to for writing advice, what an honour 💖 also, I hope you don't mind me answering publicly, bc I feel like this is something a lit of writers struggle with! I will put it under a cut tho, bc I ended up writing quite a bit oops

So. Smut. It's kinda funny you should ask me about that, bc the first proper sex scene I ever wrote was last year for Steamship Sexcapades (bc I am not counting that one feeble attempt at 19 that was so cringe that I hid it away and didn't even think about trying again for like 8 yrs) but I suppose after writing *checks The Canon word count* a lot since then means something :DD

Here's the thing: I also feel like I'm rehashing things. Constantly. There's only so many ways you can say "cock in hole ➡️ thrust" before you're gonna have to repeat some phrases. And honestly, I feel like I repeat phrases remarkably often! But in a way that's all writing! (or that's how I stop myself from getting too depressed about it lol) The readers don't notice! Usually. And as long as you don't use the exact same wording every single time.

Ok, so here's a few tips on what I, personally, think you need to make a good sex scene:

Don't be afraid of the words. Y'know, the first time I wrote "half-hard cock" I (allegedly) had to take a 10min break and texted a friend that I was not going to be able to do this. But after a while you sort of get used to it and the words that seemed embarrassing stop being that, and become just... Words. And you also shouldn't shy away from more "cringe" words! Sometimes its fun to be a little cringe!

Related, you should try to love the words. But that's just good general writing advice, I feel.

Describe the emotions. Most people feel... something towards those they are intimate with, and that should be true in erotica too. It should be especially true in erotica, I think! Even if it's a one night stand, strangers who met in the club 5mins ago, whatever... You want the characters to feel.

Don't forget the physical. This is a thing that might seem a bit... weird. Like, you're writing sex, how could it not be physical? But what I mean is that you shouldn't forget to describe how it feels to the people involved, most notably your POV character. It's very easy to get lost in describing what they're doing and completely forget to get into the actual feeling. You're not writing a sex manual! And I have read fics where half way through I realise that's what it sounds like.

It's never just about the sex. Even if you think it is, it's not. It's about the connection, the narrative, the characterisation... It's about showing something that you can only show through the kind of vulnerable intimacy that sex scenes provide. Even if it's a oneshot pwp, it still has something to say. Maybe that something is wanting to get your rocks off, but also we're talking about fanfiction... We don't read and write that just to get off. It's always about the characters.

Rehashing is fine, actually. As I said, there's only so many ways to describe certain things, and so many ways you can have sex. Except that's not really true, because the secret to keeping it fresh is mixing it up! You can change positions, you can change who's the top/bottom, you can add foreplay (you should) and then change what kind of foreplay you wanna have! You can look into kinks! You can change locations! (I know we've done that a lot) You can add or remove any number of things to make each individual encounter different! And that's the key: repetition is fine, so long as you don't use the exact same everything every time. Case in point, there is a tumblr post which I would link except I'm on mobile, that is titled sth like "list of vocal sounds for smut", which has a list of, well, sounds/verbs (moan, groan, hiss, whimper, whisper etc) and adjectives that could be paired with them (hoarse, needy, quiet, throaty, desperate, wanton etc). The point is, that the best way to keep from sounding repetitive is to mix and match the words so that even if you say "groan" five times in 5k words, it's a different kind of groan every time. The same applies to sex acts! Do you have any idea how much cock Ryunosuke has sucked during The Canon? A lot. But it doesn't feel repetitive (hopefully) because everything else around it is switched up.

And perhaps most importantly: you gotta be at least a little horny for it yourself. I get it, man, writing smut is weird. You sit in front of your computer, staring at the monitor like "hmm is it better to use the word cock or dick or member?" And like... That's not very sexy. But! But!!! At the end of the day you gotta write something that makes you excited! Otherwise what's the point? Why are you writing if it doesn't fulfill you on some level??

Anyway, that's just my thoughts on the matter. If you want more specific help with writing, you can always DM me, I don't mind~

Also, endles says she is too mentally exhausted to properly answer, but she seconds everything I said, especially the point about loving the words. Actually she really wants to say sth about that, so I'm paraphrasing her for the rest of this:

You, as a writer, should love language. You should love the neat little things that language can do and seek out new things to try every time. It's a journey of discovery! Just like sex is always a new journey, even if it's the same characters and the same sex acts, every individual time is a chance to find something new. Let yourself have fun! Write something really stupid and work from that. The way I create scenes by writing jokes, even for serious scenes, because sex at the core is kinda funny. You're standing naked (at least partially) in front of this other naked person and it makes you feel a bit funny.

Also concrete advice: pick a list of 5-10 words you want to use. They can be anything, verbs, nouns, adjectives, as long as you really, really vibe with them, because they make you happy, as long as they're not words you already use a lot. They can also all relate to the same theme if you want! And then find a way to put all those words in.

[borathae]

oh my god our poor girlie mc just cant catch a break 😭 loved the chapter! its so nice to finally see mc have someone on her side aka emma where she can ramble on about anything especially abt the boys, i cant wait for more girls chats in the future bc there conversations are honestly so cute and funny lmao

also the big(?) reveal of jimin experiencing ptsd from namjoons evil compulsion on him is finally revealed... A ahhh it made me sympathise with him in this chapter, because i can see him actually try to listen to mc's soft encouragements but the pain of memories of being tortured for so long is still fresh in his mind :( i just hope he listens to her bc the longer they keep this is a secret especially him, the more angrier yoongi would get bc thats his princess wtf 😭 anyways loooove emma and mcs scenes here and cant wait for more! mc is going to need extra cuddles from yoongi and maybe hobi too so she can feel better ❤️‍🩹

Honestly I loved their girl talk! It was so refreshing to write heheh

I HONESTLY HOPE SO TOO! OC said some very valid points. I honestly believe that Tae wouldn't be angry at Jimin, especially if he knew that he struggles with control. And Yoongi well.....the longer this is staying a secret the more devastating the consequences will be ajfajdf I can already smell the mess 😭😭

I do wanna give Jimin a hug though. I think he needs to be held. Just one long hug where someone keeps repeating to him that the abuse he suffered is finally over and he can heal 😔

[lucyandthepen]

I just discovered lesson on style and I cannot believe that I never knew its existence until today like really its one of the best series I've ever read. Like the banter is so on point that there were times that my ass laughed out loud at 3 am like seriously I love how the characters are flawed esp the mc like I don't think I've read an mc who is as blinded by her crush and thinks he is worlds away from her reach ( which people may think is rare but unfortunately common in high schools) so like this fic was a breath of fresh air and I think it's fairly obvious that jeno doesn't genuinely have feelings for mc or is that just me? I think it's like he likes being loved and is it just me or does he have some shady past or like is he struggling bc from what jaemin said I think he has stuff to deal with than actually have a real relationship rn

And I don't know how the mc is so dense not to see renjuns crush on her??? Like he deserves better and probably should move on (but I think he's similar to mc in the fact that he is resigned to just like her from the sidelines) but like he could have been a better friend too but I think he's working hard on that( but really the friend part goes for mc too tho to a smaller extend imo)

But my favorite character has to jaemin like he just makes her so comfortable without being overbearing which I think is best if mc actually wants a proper relationship but like only time will tell like I get this small vibe as in jaemin might like her but we don't know for sure.

I didn't realize I just rambled on for this long so I should probably stop rn so yeah your story really gave the joy of valentines day ( well the day after valentines at this point) for my single ass so thank you for sharing your gift with us

Sending you lots of love and warm hugs

my gosh... i did not expect such an amazingly detailed response to alos! first of all, thank you for messaging me with this! knowing what people think / feel about my works is always so helpful to me as a writer.

i think jeno's interest in mc is in her perosnality and of course her devotion to him — i feel like at that age (or even until now), if you kinda know someone is obsessed with you (in a cute harmless way, ofc), you kinda tend to want to probe? see why/maybe unintenionally pander to it? i won't say that he doesn't have a smidgen of interest in her, but the foundation of it is definitely unstable (which is funny because i do think it mirrors mc's interest in him because WHY DOES SHE LIKE HIM? it's just projection station at this rate).

mc IS very dense, in a very frustrating but rather (if i may say so myself) realistically childish way; i feel like people at that age just tend to be one-track minded most of the time, and it's very rare for people to be objective/to look at the big picture. both renjun and mc have a ways to go in terms of their friendship, but i will say their flaws are not really huge sins and just these immature flaws you kind of expect from people when they have little to no true emotional maturity... as mature as i felt i was in high school, i know i was emotionally still Not It LOL

jaemin ................................................... is one of those kinda mature individuals? at that age? i feel like him vs jeno is a key point because jaemin is alr at the cusp of exiting this small-minded, high school setting whereas jeno is still kinda vibing with it. i do think his personality is the best to have a relationship with, but time will truly only tell :^)

anyway, thank you for ranting to me and thereby allowing me to rant! i really appreciate your message and hope i can update alos really soon too!

[cielospeaks]

f h story spoilers

honestly shoutout to seithr for literally having the best protagonist arc/ending of literally all the protagonists. no shitty boss to be subservient to for no reason like peo + ash, no life debt to the order like literally everyone else. just "im free to live my life" and sora-ing her other universe selves into her own consciousness/heart/whatever and just thirsting over the person reading this together with them. you go girl.

overall i think this book was weird but it was not bad imo. the person reading this thirst was kinda silly, both in the story context and the unnecessary divide it had in the fandom. it was definitely a more provocative take on it than other characters just being like "i kinda sorta like you uuuu/////" which is fine when its one person imo. the characters were decent. i think the only one i didnt like so much was gull veig and thats mostly for the uwu sadboi stuff w her character that i think kinda detracted from a story where maybe she's a cold and calculating "this is the only outcome" force of nature/inevitability/whatever sorta thing. (and tbh a lot of that was from cyl which was sorta eh. too bad cant help that) as far as ner thus i think shes kinda a fun "interpretation villain". like im glad a lot of people see her as the true villain/manipulator of the book bc i def get that vibe, but i know if she wasnt a busty lady and instead was a guy that the same fans would see absolutely no faults with her :/ but take what you can get i guess.

i still am a njorthur enjoyer and i like his motivation, i wish theyd just fleshed it out more. like he sees humans wasting the seas, wasting the land, killing each other senselessly. hes a stickler for good conduct and he sees humans/mortals as slovenly and disgusting and having degraded (and maybe looks down on them extra hard for in his eyes corrupting his family members, like his sisters obsession w them as well as his kids/relatives its unclear). i dont mind that his motivations arent revenge and actually i think itd be funny if the twins are the children of another sibling of him and ner thuz, completely subverting that whole plot. in my fic i think it still works, bc hed see eitr as a family member who got corrupted by mortals and turned into a nasty kidnapper

i honestly dont mind the designs and actually compared to 5 and 6 with the same illustrator it was a breath of fresh air. i do think theres an unfortunate kinda "sameface" ey trend with a lot of character designs (poor elm) but i like the idea of the loose, kinda otohime esque robes of the vana characters. kinda wish theyd get a new illustrator for every book, it would make the character designs stand out more imo. tbh i feel like another person shouldve done b5. i can accept that 3 and 6 are same as 1 bc they all focus around askr + embla but i think 5's mech designs wouldve looked cool with a different artist, + the cringe meme faces would have maybe been less irritating

anyways i honestly hope that the next book isnt asgard, just like ive hoped for the last two book reveals. but give me some time to finish my fucking fanfic first. i guess ill give my thoughts on my fic when i finish it. honestly works been so bad this year i havent had as much time for it as id have liked rip

[anosci]

(332-347 albums etc that I’ve listened to this year, copied from twitter) (now with art. [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24])

names and thoughts below cut

332/ Ryuichi Sakamoto - async - Remodels (2017) hits harder!!! all the remixes bring out the best from the originals. i ended up vibing with this way more. two specific big highlights: "disintegration (Alva Noto Remodel)" next level "ZURE (Yves Tumor Obsession Edit)" MASSIVE

---

333/ おとめ - Reflective memory ～Lo-Fi mix～ (2023) nice little chill beats, p much exactly as you'd expect. the 2 that stood out to me: "Two hours viewing" is extra lush and what id describe as wintery. and then "Full Moon Eyes" has some fat ass BASS. love that upright stuff.

---

334/ CLYDE & Starkey - Clydebot Ultra (2023) jungle is massive etc etc i think the opening track (Jungle Bass Cannon) is the best, and, coincidentally, goes the hardest

---

335/ Loraine James - Gentle Confrontation (2023) "Prelude of Tired of Me" this texture contrast… "While They Were Singing" smth about this… feels tired(?). all of this emits such a specific feeling that i can only describe as "exhausted" and it's fascinating

---

336/ Rascal Reporters - The Strainge Case Of Steve (2023) kind of in love with the "no, no, let's keep it going" attitude in "A Race Against Time" lol "The Odor At Tavistock" beautiful adventure "Guns For Clones" standout. love those sitars

---

337/ Aleksi Perälä - Simulation (2017) sometimes idk how to approach these numerous numbered variations on a few ideas but "NLL561606932" do be hitting.

--- October ---

338/ Jlin - Perspective (2023) misc thoughts… "Fourth Perspective" got a spooky vibe "Derivative" is funny but like… still bangs lol "Duality" is oddly cinematic. an unorthodox happily ever after

---

339/ Cornelius - Mellow Waves (2017) picky about vocals :\ i dig the clouded soundscapes though. "Surfing on Mind Wave, Pt. 2" is good shit. "Helix / Spiral" 2nd fav tune. feels like it could go in a katamari also: even when im picky, the stereo field is CHOICE.

---

340/ Skytree - Harmonic Residents (2023) i got into skytree bc he was mixing dubstep with massive chill soundscapes. now hes shifted into just the latter and he's killing it. as a whole this EP is relaxing and meditative. i love how tall the wall of sound is in "Astral Projector"

---

341/ Excision - Virus Remixes (2017) i loved the original so it's a tall order to best these tunes. and sadly…i just didnt enjoy a number of these. :( but! "Final Boss (Dillon Francis Remix)" !!! "Mirror (Kai Wachi Remix)" wildest thing here maybe! plus a few others!

---

342/ Location Location Location - Damaged Goods (2023) kinda mixed feelings tbh. "mislocated" mood all around. that said: woah, the suffocating sound of "Trap Door"! 2nd fav prolly "79 Beatdowns". feels like being lost. "A Sound That Shapes A Thing That Thinks" feels very light

---

343/ VA - Doukyuusei Sound Memorial (1993) kinda just "not bad" for me, but a few of these HIT: "Mako Saitoh" is insanely soft. those woodwinds win my heart over. "Misa Tanaka" big fav! "Kurumi Nishina" hits like a mint

---

344/ Iris Ipsum - Pattern Language (2023) really really (cool) tight beat textures a bit like hip hop beat influenced idmy. feels like it'd be right at home on merck :) my favorites are bouncing between "Gaussian" and "Inner Array" as of writing

---

345/ Oneohtrix Point Never - Again (2023) this is the most transporting music ive heard in a hot minute. i feel like i just watched a movie, not an album. this is also the most fresh thing ive heard in a hot minute. what the hell. i cant pick a fav track. all around amazing.

---

346/ mōshonsensu - Even Keel (2023) its lush but… idk. it just doesnt quite hit me. it happens sometimes. except one track: "Renaissance". it has a soft and sleepy vibe that kinda sticks with me. nostalgic a bit.

---

next page...

[froschli96]

FUCKING THANK YOU! FINALLY SOME GOOD FUCKING FOOD. this is the kind of analysis i’ve been craving! (there’s only so many times i can go looking for some actual character analysis for altaïr only to be bombarded with comments of "yeah, altaïr is so cool bc he has a synchonization bar, not a health bar, which means he was never hit!" before i go bashing my head against a wall. why are redditors always so obsessed with who would win in a fight?)

Additionally, something I don’t think the games actually delve into enough is the “corruption” of the apple on Altaïr. Like, we hear about it, or people throw accusations, and we hear bits of dialogue, but we never actually see it for ourselves.

like, yes yes yes, all of this! a thousand times this! the apple and its effects were so fucking underutilized it’s criminal!!

THAT should have been the central conflict of his story in revelations! not whatever the fuck was going on with abbas (i guess darby came fresh from reading "storytelling 101" which stipulates you give your hero personal stakes or whatever idk) THAT is what his codex implies to be the source of his inner conflict after the events of ac1.

like, the ending of ac1 itself was so ominous, where you’re left wondering, did he manage to destroy it? obviously not, bc the templars got their hands on it at some point. so what happened??

there’s all these small hints:

"[Your master] is only human, as are we all. You as well." (king richard’s last words to altaïr)

"Risky to separate myself from the artifact that others may discover it. Riskier still to keep it close. In time I will be tempted. I am weak. We all are. Who wouldn't be? Oh, the things I have seen…" (codex, pg. 26)

"But I have sworn to be done with the artifact. To not gaze into its core. Still: faced as I am with the prospect of my end, what harm is there in one last look…" (codex, pg. 30)

and of course: "Destroy it! Destroy it as you said you would!" - "I… I can’t" - "Yes, you can, Altaïr. But you won’t."

all of this was pointing to how it’s very likely that altaïr, despite his character development and his best efforts, will still end up being tempted by the apple (tho MAYBE in the future someone else would manage to actually withstand it… as much as i love altaïr (evidently), AC was never the story of the ancestor. it was DESMOND’s story, but that’s a whole other topic)

and if we had actually had that: altaïr in the end still succumbing to the apple, then i would still, for my own peace of mind, ignore canon and pretend my blorbo lived happily after lol. but i would be satisfied with his story because it was actually brought to its natural conclusion that was already implied at the end of ac1 and then reinforced in the codex. (NOW i have to ignore canon bc it’s absolutely nonsensical.)

would it have been extremely depressing? fuck yes. is it a nicer thought to imagine that he did mostly withstand the apple and manage to actually use it for good? of course it is!

(though, tbh, to me altair using the apple to invent all of ezio’s gadgets and his statue-cameo in the sanctuary have always felt more like fan service rather than them wanting to give closure to altaïr’s story

and it was also just a convenient way to not have to have ezio having to grapple with the same questions as altaïr, bc he can just learn from the guy himself.

like, as someone who loves altaïr, of course it was at first really cool to see his influence even all these centuries later with ezio, but i also feel like it was kind of like ubisoft going: "ok, since altaïr’s done all the work for us in reforming the brotherhood, the assassins are now the Good Guys (TM) so we don’t have to really bother with critically discussing the assassin ideology and their creed anymore (you know, the thing that the entire franchise is named after?) and can now focus on character-driven stories exclusively, preferably with some flavor of revenge plot."

it's also kind of funny how in the codex altaïr keeps angsting about the dangers of the apple and how he must seal it away to keep it away even from himself and then in revelations he just goes "fuck it, we ball" and uses it to destroy a whole mongol army lmao. like, i have to hand it to revelations, that is kind of hilarious.

Overall, while I do enjoy bloodlines, one big gripe I have with it is I WISH we could have seen hints of Altaïr being corrupted. For example, when he whips out the Apple on the crowd and controls them, that’s HORRIFYING????? And it’s especially horrifying for Altaïr’s character because HE WAS CONTROLLED BY THE APPLE?? SO WHY WOULD HE DO IT TO OTHERS, EVEN FOR GOOD?? This would be a great place to show he is still arrogant in some ways for believing he could even possible control it. I also wish Maria had actually called him out on it rather than her little “I’m not sure if I’d call your hands the right ones.” She just witnessed him mind control an entire crowd with that thing, WHY THE FUCK DID SHE NOT FREAK OUT ON HIM??

YES, that scene in bloodlines is so fucking creepy! tho i feel like it actually is supposed to be. but then nothing ever comes of it?? i think bloodlines was released alongside ac2, and ac2 introduced the codex in which altaïr does grapple with the temptation of the apple, so.. i guess maaaybe they actually were going to do something with it? but the tone of the game really doesn’t reflect that

(tbqh, i like the CONCEPT of bloodlines, but the execution…… i feel like altaïr is a completely different person there already. like i used to think "how come darby fucked up so bad with writing altaïr in revs, he did it before in bloodlines and that was fine!" but then i rewatched the cutscenes and realized that… actually no, that is already a completely different character. why does he suddenly act like an action hero who does quips and witty one-liners?

to me, the thing about altair (in ac1) is that basically, he has negative rizz that loops back around into coolness. like, he absolutely does say some hardcore shit but the thing that actually makes it cool is that he’s not trying to be, he’s just completely earnest. like, that man puts his whole assassussy into everything he does and says — not a single ironic bone in his body. honestly, most of the other protagonists would be way too self-conscious to say half the shit he does with a straight face. people aren’t really charmed by his words but inspired by his conviction and earnestness, i think. to me, that’s how he’s characterized in ac1…

but i do like maria’s characterization in bloodlines and i do love me a good enemies to lovers arc…*sigh*

that is really the root of why AC is so incredibly frustrating to me — it is so SO SO good IN THEORY but then so often just lands flat on its face when it comes to the execution. Combine with that the fact that basically none of the original creators are left and even with the earlier titles you can never say for certain what was intentional and planned from the start, what was added later and also what was possibly studio interference, and you’re left forever mourning what COULD have been.)

(I hope this doesn't come across as me saying that liking bloodlines is wrong somehow... just... i have my gripes with that game as well^^;)

This could’ve been a great way for us to see nuances into their relationship. Listen, I love Altaïr and Maria (and Malik) as a romantic relationship because it really does fit, but I also think it would’ve been far more interesting to see just how much of an impact the Apple had on them. For instance, maybe Altaïr was a better father and husband when Darim and Sef were younger, but overtime as he delved deeper into the Apple and its contents, he became far more distant and rooted in the Brotherhood.

yes, thank you, that is delicious! like, THAT would’ve been interesting! you don’t need to add abbas to give altaïr’s story some personal stakes, you already have his fucking FAMILY that can provide conflict! GOD! darby, take notes! as it is i do think altaïr and maria's relationship is kind of underdeveloped unfortunately. we just have the database telling us that SOMEHOW between bloodlines and revelations they end up together and are now inseparable. like, I WANNA SEE THAT SHIT! and i also would have LOVED to see some conflict with malik bc of the apple as well. or for that matter, i would have just loved to see malik at all akjsdfhjdkkdskjasdhfjhjhjhjhjhjh

I feel like what works best for Altaïr as a character flaw in regard to his personal life and the brotherhood is his hubris. Like, if you’re gonna do shit with him, you can show how it evolves but remains a flaw. For example, in AC1 it’s about how he thinks he’s better than everyone and above the creed and thus has mentally dehumanized everyone because that’s what he was taught to do. By the end of the game, he is much wiser and kinder because he CHOOSES to be. But he’s still human, and I don’t think that arrogance would just go away. Again, Altaïr being arrogant in believing he could control or understand the Apple would be a great way to show that because it just develops him further while still demonstrating how that key flaw is his downfall.

This! why turn him into a different character? there is already so much here that you can use! god, i love that, he had his arc in ac1, but his arrogance doesn’t go away, it just changed, it is still there but now it manifests as him believing that he can actually control this thing ("rip to al mualim but i’m different" <- something altaïr would unironically say), and even that it is his duty bc he is the only one who can. like, that is a pretty arrogant thought to have, to think you are so special that you can just play with fire and also that you are the ONLY one who can.

while we're on the topic of the apple though and since you mentioned ecclesiastes...

another thing that I’ve been thinking about with the apple and it’s "corrupting" influence, is kind of a different angle (something that might just be me overanalyzing): i would also really like the apple to have a less "malicious" corrupting power, but something that speaks more to human nature itself.

(to be clear, i don’t think this is what was intended by the devs, it’s just me probably putting meaning where there is none or if there is it might be an accident)

in a way i think you could argue that the greatest temptation of the apple is to accept the "truth" that humans, if left to their own devices, will wreak only death and destruction and thus need to be controlled in order to achieve "peace".

the apple is capable of showing past, present and future and thus all the ways in which humans can inflict cruelty upon one another. if you’re constantly witnessing that, like altaïr is implied to while studying the apple, then what other conclusion can you come to than that humanity is evil.

after all it is such a nice and simple explanation for everything bad in the world and conveniently leaves you with only one single solution — the one of the templars: to use the apple for its intended purpose.

"I applied my heart to know wisdom, and to know madness and folly. I perceived that this also was a chasing after wind, for in much wisdom is much grief. And he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."

like, I always read that as meaning that the apple’s gift is "knowledge" about humanity ("to know madness and folly" could be read as "to know human nature", specifically, humanity's wickedness), and the danger of this knowledge is that it could make you lose your faith in, and your love for humanity and end up stoking your contempt for it (which is what, I’d argue, is the central characteristic of the templar ideology — the templars SAY they want the best for humanity, but they are motivated by a HATRED for it (vidic: "The world's a mess. It’s pathetic, really. You've seen it first-hand yourself: a thousand years between you and your ancestor and society remains just as barbaric. Just as stupid."))

personally, i REALLY would have liked this kind of angle, of saying that the knowledge provided by the apple itself isn't bad or corrupting in and of itself, it is neutral. it’s the "truths" the wielder gleans from this knowledge that can be dangerous. (vidic: "it’s part of what makes the animus so spectacular — there’s no room for misinterpretation." desmond: "There’s always room.")

in that case, no amount of isu dna would make you immune to this kind of "temptation" bc it is not the apple itself that would "corrupt" you, but your own mind twisting what you see in it, the ILLUSION of a fundamental understanding of the world, of "knowledge".

this is why the "nothing is true." part of the creed is so important, bc accepting something as absolute, unchangeable truth can be dangerous (especially the notion that humans are predestined to only ever be bad)

(realistically, as i said, i don’t think that was ever really something the devs were going for, though, considering everything that came after ac1 (can you tell yet that i’ve lost any and all faith in both the current and the original developers?) — it’s just an idea i thought was kinda cool (and that possibly doesn't even make sense idk). that’s probably also why i like ac1 so much, bc the lore is still really minimal and mysterious and you have so much freedom to play around with these ideas and there’s so many little quotes that you can interpret in so many different ways, even if maybe they weren't intended to be

but really, i don't care, i’ve simply decided for myself, death of the author style, that the meaning i will take from ac1’s story is that hating humanity is the ultimate temptation bc blaming humans for their own plight is easier than to see the fault in the systems they live in and trying to actually change THOSE in order to help people and change the world, and the templars are dangerous because they have succumbed to that ultimate temptation. bc once in a while i do like to take positive pro-humanity meaning from stories.)

anyways…. um…. sorry for another massive wall of text… i hope at least half of it makes sense and isn’t just me rambling incoherently………^^;

apparently i really could talk about this game forever, the whole script is basically burnt into my brain at this point (and i guess I'm also really enthusiastic about finding others who want to talk about it...)

You know what, fuck it, I have to speak my truth! (this is gonna be a rant, so anyone who actually likes assassin's creed revelations and/or the secret crusade, be warned or maybe don't read this at all)

remember how altaïr talks to king richard at the end of ac1, and richard is like "[humans] come into the world kicking and screaming, violent and unstable. it is what we are. we cannot help ourselves."? and how altaïr answers "no. we are what we choose to be." and how that ACTUALLY has meaning bc he himself was "violent and unstable" at the beginning of the game but he has learned and is now CHOOSING to be a better person who cares about others and humanity at large? remember how his calmness and gentleness was something that he ACQUIRED over the course of the story?

and remember how in revelations they then suddenly had a PRE-AC1 altaïr say about the first of his targets "no man should pass from this world without knowing some kindness." and be all wise and calm and collected during a nice little chat with al mualim, who suddenly acts all fatherly? (like, this is suddenly supposed to be a positive relationship? what??)

also, during the confession the target says to altair: "you put too much faith in the hearts of men, altaïr. [...] humans are weak, base, and petty." and altaïr answers: "no. our creed is evidence to the contrary." KJASJFJDKL???? like, it’s almost insulting how close this exchange is to the one with richard. you know, the one that was actually earned after a whole game of character development. like WTF??? cool congrats now that development means nothing. like, apparently that was just altaïr reverting BACK to being the exemplary assassin who understands and believes in the creed that he was apparently just born as. (i also hate how having a young inexperienced altaïr saying this implies that altaïr's faith in humanity is a sign of naivete instead of a sign of the wisdom he has gained after being confronted with counter arguments for a whole game, and also something that distinguishes the assassins from the templars who use humanity's supposed wickedness to justify controlling them like in AC1, but whatever)

altaïr’s development in AC1 mattered BECAUSE he is not NATURALLY a good person, it actually said something about humanity's capacity for both bad AND good and how humans don't have to be forced to be good through mind control bc they can by their own free will choose to be better when taught how and when allowed the freedom to grow. but no. apparently altaïr has just always been calm, wise and gentle. and he just sort of forgot about that during AC1 bc…. ? bc of adha?? bc of abbas???

oh don’t get me started on the whole abbas thing. (it doesnt even make sense that abbas is so hung up about his father and "his family’s honor", like what about the whole point of al mualim not allowing parents to be close to their children bc it would make them weak? like, my dude, you’re not supposed to HAVE any family aside from the brotherhood)

they used the throwaway character that had like 5 lines and made him into altaïr’s main antagonist in revelations… like, abbas wasn’t supposed to be this ONE dude who had personal beef with altaïr, he was just supposed to show how while altaïr’s revered by many, a lot of his brothers also hate him, bc 1) altaïr is a shitty person at this point and 2) bc there’s no real feeling of community and family in this version of the brotherhood, but just a pervasive sense of competition and jealousy — these assassins don’t care about their goal of safeguarding humanity bc they’re too hung up on petty squabbles and divided by rivalries (you know, the things that made malik hate altaïr even before solomon’s temple and that he overcomes in the end which enables him to forgive and to reconcile with altaïr so they can work together and stop al mualim? (you ever just think about "we are one. as we share the glory of our victories, so too should we share the pain of our defeat. in this way we grow closer. we grow stronger." and cry? bc i do. all the time. malik, the man that you are))

and now abbas is altaïr’s childhood best friend turned lifelong enemy?? like, bowden bent over backwards to come up with an explanation for why altaïr is an arrogant ass at the beginning of AC1, when the explanation is right there: he was raised to kill without asking questions and was constantly praised for how good he is at murder, which resulted in him becoming arrogant and disregarding human life. like, it doesn’t have to be some shakespearean family feud type shit. and guess what, this "simple" explanation actually plays into the story’s themes, who’da thunk!

(like, abbas might not have been a "fleshed out" character in AC1, but he had a specific function and now that function is gone. mr bowden, mr mcdevitt, you know characters are allowed to simply exist to tell us something about their worlds and the systems they live in and sometimes that’s more important and also more interesting than having every single character have a detailed backstory to explain all their behaviors, right?)

with all of this revelations loses all nuance in regards to the levantine brotherhood and also the creed in general. like, altaïr being a master assassin at the beginning despite being a terrible person and not actually understanding the creed is a criticism of the brotherhood and the creed itself. like, it said something about the order that someone like altaïr was able to get that high in rank, simply bc he's good at killing, which also tells us what is considered important in the al mualim era assassin order. when you make altaïr’s arrogance the result of his personal conflicts instead of how we was raised by a brotherhood that only valued one's ability to kill, you lose that characterization of the assassin order itself!

and by suddenly making al mualim a semi good "father figure" you also downplay his manipulation of not only altaïr but all those under his care. (altaïr says something about al mualim being "as a father" to him exactly twice in the codex, but he doesn’t mean by that that he WAS a father to him, what he means is that he was the CLOSEST THING he had bc HE DID NOT HAVE PARENTS, not because his mother died in childbirth and his father was executed when he was young btw, BUT BECAUSE IT WASN’T ALLOWED, like his parents actually lived but weren’t allowed to be close to him, he says he came to view al mualim’s "weak and dishonest" love as enough and even better BECAUSE HE HAD NOTHING ELSE, BECAUSE AL MUALIM ISOLATED HIS ASSASSINS FROM THEIR FAMILIES. al mualim "loved" him bc he was good at killing people for him! hm, i wonder if this could be trying to say anything about cults and indoctrination and the inherent contradiction in fighting for peace and free will by taking children away from their parents and raising them to become killers?? like, altaïr wasn't ~the special orphan boy~ taken in by al mualim bc his father died a hero's death, it was "the way of the order" to have al mualim be the closest thing to a parental figure for everyone to ensure absolute loyalty! altaïr saying al mualim was like his father is not supposed to make you go "oh, he must have actually been a good guy for altaïr to consider him a father", it should make you go "oh that's kinda fucked up that he considers the dude who made him into a killing machine and who manipulated him a sort of father figure"!)

and then in revelations they suddenly portray that relationship as positive and healthy??? like, it would be one thing to give it some nuance by delving into the psychology behind al mualim’s "love" and maybe showing how al mualim did care about altair in a complicated, fraught sort of way (like, you know, there’s a lot of interesting things you could say about al mualim at several points addressing altaïr as "my child" in AC1 and how that parallels Garnier referring to the people he drugged and abused as his "children", and what that says about how the templars view the people who they say they want to save and in whose best interests they supposedly act (in any case, al mualim doesn’t use that phrase because he has any real parental feelings but rather to patronize and to invalidate any objections, like in a "mother knows best" way))

but they even fucking DARE to parallel that relationship with that of altaïr and darim in revelations, by having the reflection in the puddle of darim hugging altaïr showing altaïr hugging al mualim…. like their relationship wasn’t inherently abusive but just tragically cut short because al mualim was just "corrupted by the apple"… like WHAT???? so it’s not the very real problems like grooming, manipulation and indoctrination and the hierarchical structure of the brotherhood itself (all of which are antithetical to the assassin ideology), it was just the evil apple all along. great. that’s DEFINITELY a lot more interesting.

god im sorry i really dont want to spread negativity but this is driving me INSANE. like, somebody please tell me im not crazy bc i feel like somehow most of the fandom is in agreement that revelations and the secret crusade have better storytelling and characterization than ac1.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, can we talk about how, even IF we completely ignore AC1 and treat revelations altaïr as his own character…. the narrative still doesn’t really work?

basically, the whole point of his story in rev is that "he gave his whole life to the brotherhood", this obsession led to him not using his time with his family which has him ending up dying alone in a dark library and this in turn makes ezio reevaluate his life choices…. except. he doesn’t? neglect? his family? or whatever? like, his devotion to the assassins is sort of painted as this tragic flaw that leads to a lonely death bc it supposedly comes at the cost of his family, but… his wife has joined the assassins, (at least) one of his sons is in the brotherhood and even when he goes to protect the assassins against the mongols, he takes his family with him (except for the son who stays behind bc he has a family of his own and who, ironically, ends up dying bc of that)… like, you can’t describe altaïr as a good husband and father in the database and have his son tell him that "everything that is good in me began with you, father" when they say goodbye, and then want to make us believe that he put his family behind the brotherhood and that that is a character flaw that leads to his tragedy.

because you HAVE to have a character’s tragedy be the result of a character flaw. like. that is how tragedies work. otherwise it just becomes tragedy for the sake of tragedy which is… boring bc it has no purpose. and we know it is SUPPOSED to have purpose bc ezIO FUCKING QUITS BEING AN ASSASSIN AFTER WITNESSING IT!

it’s like they want to have their cake and eat it, too — they didn’t want to actually make altaïr a bad husband/father, but still wanted to make his life a tragedy where he loses his family which is why instead they outsource all responsibility to abbas who now has to be the reason for ALL the deaths.

like, they try to make at least maria’s death kind of sort of the result of altaïr’s rashness or whatever but like… these guys KILLED THEIR SON and TOLD HIM THAT ALTAÏR HAD ORDERED HIS DEATH. like, altaïr losing it in response to that is not rash, it’s fucking logical and justified! if anything the scene made me angry at maria for trying to stop him. like, GIRL, he was YOUR son too??? but god forbid we give female characters actual real emotions, she has to fill the role of "voice of reason who dies for altaïr’s man pain" i fucking guess.

like, it’s this weird mix where his tragedy is simultaneously painted as his own fault but also not really bc abbas is the one responsible for all the shit that happens. it just… it just doesn’t really go together.

the only way to make his story make sense narratively and to give it actual purpose is by looking at it in the context of ezio’s story, bc the things he sees in altaïr’s memories are supposed to be a revelation (ha!) to ezio specifically. and i guess that’s maybe the crux of it all — altaïr’s story in revelations was conceived of first and foremost to support ezio’s story and development. which is probably also why many people maybe don’t notice bc, having skipped ac1 and started with ac2, the majority of people mostly care only about ezio and only really appreciate altaïr’s story in as far as it serves to push ezio forward. (tho i’ve also seen a few people say that ezio is also written kind of weird in rev, but i’ve never really been an ezio girly myself so i can’t speak to the truth of that)

like, altaïr dying alone in the library doesn’t really have to make sense for his character, i guess, bc it’s only really supposed to be a cautionary tale for ezio.

so, i guess, for once, they actually had a MAN dying for another man’s character development, which is pretty woke actually. ubisoft, i take everything back jksdsfjhgdsahfhsdhfghfdsgjhsdgjh

[hirokiyuu]

actually i changed my mind i'm doing liner notes while fic is stlil fresh in my brain

i wanted so so badly to title this "how could i ever be so dumb to believe i'd be the one you would adore" but it was too long. heartbreaking. this would still have been such a baller title. i did consider "the one you would adore" but i think the title i settled on was better lol

i also wanted to use smth from no love in february which is also pretty dyssol for this exact scenario u kno. wnating sol to have reached out to him and hten not getting it <3 "where were you when i needed to hear you say / turn around i'm right behind you!" all that shit its soooo good for htem tbh

originally sym emerged "from the shadows of the forest" and my beta was like "there's no forest this is the ridges, the whole point is there's no forest" and i had to pull up the literal in-game text that has him emerging, quote, "from the shadows of the forest." they were so angry it was immesnely funny. i did cut it tho bc it's technically inconsistent w/worldbuilding LMFAO

i kind of wish it'd come up more but part of this sol is characterized by being unaugmented. real fucked up that people just give u extra kudos for not being augmented lmfao i do think abt that as the perk a lot

this sol's also super poly. i wanna go into this in another ficlet maybe but she was genuinely really vibing with dys's crush on sym from the start (which is part of the reason he was confused abt whether or not she liked him, lol)

originally this run was gonna be ot3 but i fucked up the timing of sym's last event but honestly? ive mentioned this before but hinge poly sol/dys/sym? does vibe. tfw ur boyfriend is clearly in love w/ur girlfriend who shes not dating also and u jsut ahve to deal w/that

a lot of the convo ended up rearranged from canon to better flow, and some stuff got cut. im still SO sad i couldnt work in dys droppign his entire dinner in the fire thats like one of my favorite parts. dyssol is best when they are both STupid <3

also sad in retrospect i had to cut the whole "where were you" but again it did not fit. i just wanted them yelling stupidly at each other tbh LAKHSGLKAHSLDKG

so i wrote this entire fic out of order starting with "you absolute spacehead, i am in love with you" which means when i wrote the part where sym cuts in my beta, who never got this scene, went SYM WAS JUST THERE? and i was like. yeah. thats canon btw thats part of the canon scene. and they lost it

"i am so stupid into you, i love you more than anything or anyone in this whole dumb universe" as a dramatic love confession is fun i think. simultaneously very like...... desperate and aching and also kind of stupid u kno. very nineteen of her. one of my fave lines from this in general tbh

the funniest possible note from my beta on the middle of the kiss

"i want all those kids tammy and i picked out dumb names for when we were nine" is another personal fave lmfao. again. dumb teens trying to talk abt the future and what they want

it was really important to me that sol didn't look pretty while she was crying. snotty + wet-faced and kind of ugly about it u kno. dyssol are a little gross and they love each other about it! it's aprt of the love

ive always thought abt dys not having anyone to find him on the spaceship (if hes not sols childhood friend) and connecting that to him disappearing on the ridges. the vibes. impeccable. of course he goes home with sol then if they ask, it's the first time anyones come looking. god. (thinking abt dyssol) GOD

dys: hey does anyone think its weird youer both just dating me now. no? just me? okay

i mean obviously the polyam negotiations DO come but again. this sol+sym in general are both just like. sweet more people to love dys

i didnt tag this as marz+dys or utopia+dys but it is immensely importnat to me that he has multiple people who love and worry and care for him. marz fucks up a lot as kids but i like how if u try to bully dys in her 10 shes like :/ no you moron im trying to KEEP him from dying :////

"clinging like he's five years old" This One Was On Purpose

originally at the end there was a joke sol made abt jumping him but it didn't fit tonally. i do think its immensely funny conceptually still tho

WOW THESE GOT LONG LMFAO anyways i lvoe ridgefic the whole ridge confession really did smth to my brain. enjoy the fruits of my disease

[obislittleone]

House Of Memories (32/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: just fluff nothing more-

Summary: Under the watchful eye of the council, you must figure out a way to revert your saber to its original glory, lest they find out and you be expelled.

A/n: okay guys i literally sobbed tonight bc i was listening to the peter pan soundtrack and fairy dance came on and this was all i could think of-

also y'all if you like the story, maybe consider buying me a coffee :)

Words: 1.9k

"Focus, little one," his tentative whispers in your ear were not exactly helping you to achieve the desired state of mind while this process took place.

Sat in the center of a private training area, you closed your eyes, holding your crystal in your hand and trying to fix the mistake you had made.

"You are strong with the light, let it guide you."

He was knelt beside you, hoping to assist you in any way he could, but it seemed his presence was causing more difficulty then help. You tried again, much to your dismay, heaving another breath and moving towards a state of serenity in your mind, but then it wandered, into a place it should not be. Serenity for you did not just come as a feeling, but a familiar presence, brought by a person. Said person was breathing on your skin, and it caused you to lose whatever sense on control you almost had.

"I can't do it, Master."

"Don't say that, not when we both you that you can," he sat back on his heels, but placed a hand on your shoulder to assure you of what you knew to be true.

"What if it takes me more time? Maybe I'm just not ready," you rapidly stood up, hiding your crystal within the chamber of your hilt, before reassembling the pieces, and activating your once beautiful saber. You looked upon it with great shame, for what you had done to it was an act that showed the makings of something you were not. You were a Jedi, like your Master before you.

"Do not put off till tomorrow, what can be done today," he reminded you, a teaching he planted in your mind when you were very young, before he was your Master, even. It rang in your head every time he repeated it, and you understood that there were deeper meanings now than when he usually spoke it to you.

You shook your head and scoffed, gesturing for him to see the monstrosity you'd mad with your own anger.

"I should wait for life day, hang it up as a decoration," you joked, but he didn't seem to find it funny. He knew that you were ready to perform a crystal healing, but even if you weren't, it's not like you could wait days or even weeks to fix your mistake. The council would be watching you like a shriek-hawk, and if they sensed anything off in your signature, surely, they would expel you from the order.

He wanted to give you a small break, perhaps take you to the meditation gardens to relax, and bring about some new scenery. Your powers within the force were greater than you had a capacity of believing, and Obi-Wan knew this better than anyone you had ever come across.

He knew it was a foolish idea as soon as it entered his head, but he was, for lack of a better word, an addict at the moment. It was the newness, it was the fresh feelings that were nearly constantly nagging at the back of his mind, and everything you did that was not even noticeable to anyone else, but it made him crave you. He shouldn't voice this idea, it's a terrible idea, an absolutely-

"Come with me, my love," he held out his hand, willing you to join him, and you did with a smile at the name. He was in love with you, and he wanted you to know it every time he addressed you... of course the outside world would never be able to hear the way he called you, so his former go-to of little one would still be on his lips often.

With your saber now hung on your hip, you followed him through the busy halls of the Temple. The disconnection in your previously intertwined hands was only mildly irritating until you were both outside. To avoid busy streets and onlookers, you both took a hidden pathway into the city underworld, where the lights were beginning to come on as the sun went down.

"Where are we going?"

He was never this spontaneous, never so impulsive to just go off into nowhere in particular when there were things to be done. The galaxy was at war, and it was raging now more than ever, but here he was, General Kenobi, the Great Negotiator, dragging you through hidden passageways and into the depths of the city. Where he was taking you, you were almost sure you'd never been before.

"You'll see," he seemed so giddy, so excited. You were the reason for that. You were the one to make him beam like a young boy, you lifted him up into the air and made him feel like he truly belonged in this galaxy, like he had a place other than being the stoic Jedi General that his reputation proceeded him as.

"That answer was far too vague, are you feeling okay?"

This was so unlike him, to shirk off responsibilities and take you on an adventure.

You entered an old and dusty access point of... well you still weren't sure. You'd stumbled into the dark after him and wondered if he finally snapped. Yes, that's it, your mood and sarcasm drove him to madness, and he was dragging you out here to dispose of you for good.

"I am feeling fantastic, and yourself?" he replied quickly, his sharp wit could impale you if he actually tried.

"Well, I'd be doing better if I was certain that you weren't taking me some place where nobody could hear me scream."

He chuckled lowly and brought you close to him, and suddenly the door closed behind you, leaving you both in the pitch-black area. You heard him moving around before there was light in the area. It looked like an abandoned service pathway, with an elevator in the corner. It looked ancient, but of course, Obi-Wan was lunging towards it as soon as the lights came on. He pressed the button to open the door, then turn to you in reply of your previous remark.

"If I was going to kill you, I would have been smart enough not to let so many witnesses see us leave," he stepped on the janky piece of machinery. You smirked at that one, rolling your eyes and doing anything you can to avoid joining him on that elevator. "Are you coming?"

He's your Master, you thought to yourself, why did he seem so different to you right now. You felt as though his equal, someone who shared the same mind level and age and wisdom. It was an elating feeling for sure, to simply be in his company and to not feel as if there were any expectations. Not that there ever really were with him, but something had changed. You weren't Master and Padawan for now, you were two lovers sneaking away from your duties to spend time with one another.

You heaved an exasperated sigh before joining him on the old relic of a gantry lift, letting the doors close around you and jolt before shooting straight up, and knocking you off balance. Obi-Wan laughed lightly, helping you keep yourself upright.

"I forgot to mention the acceleration," he didn't let go of you once you were standing straight, but kept you within arm's reach, hands encapsuling behind your waist.

"How convenient."

You must have been going up ten floors per second, and when the doors finally opened, you sensed you were very high off the ground. The darkness that surrounded you wasn't as pitch black as the former room, because in the corner of the room, there was a small opening in which brought light and sound from a lower source.

He took a few steps and crouched by the small opening and pulled back what you guessed was a curtain of some sort. He looked at you invitingly, nodding his head over and then letting his eyes rest on whatever was down there.

You knelt beside him, and almost gasped at where you recognized yourself to be.

You were in the opera house, in the roof it seemed, because you were looking straight down at the performers for the evening. Beautiful music filled your ears, and you watched as dancers flitted about the air, hovering like they knew how to fly. It was all an illusion, but you were entranced by it. You couldn't take your eyes away, your lips curling up slightly with every reaction.

"Whoa.."

His eyes never left your face, admiring the peace and wonder you'd seemed to have found here. As you were taken by the lovely performance below you, he was taken by the loveliness that sat right before him. You glanced over at him to see what he thought of the show but caught his gaze instead. You smiled, turning a deep shade of pink when you realized he'd been doing that the whole time.

He leaned in and captured your lips with his, unable to restrain himself any further. You truly did look angelic, in the soft light of the opera house, and the music playing below. He pulled away before an idea struck his mind.

"I know that look, what are you thinking?" You tried to coax an answer out of him, but you got nothing. He stood to his feet, looking down at you with a smile and holding a hand out to help you up. Once you were standing before him, he put one arm behind his back and one across his front, bowing before you as if you were a queen or senator.

All done while looking at you, he raised one hand beside him, the other reaching out to circle around your waist. Did he want you to... dance with him?

You took his hand, laying your other one against his shoulder, and along to the slow and melodic rhythm of the song below you, you swayed from side to side, occasionally taking a step or two to make a small shift in pattern.

"I've never brought anyone up here before," he admitted, eyes full of stars. He was under your spell completely, and he was perfectly happy to be. "I found this place when my Master first took me on, it was a place I could come to and think about everything... I came here the day we brought you to Coruscant. You'd been the first person to really teach me the meaning of compassion, and I was up here for hours contemplating it all."

"I find it hard to believe that you learned compassion from me when I was only three years old," you weren't shocked by the revelation, just a bit surprised is all... but it was true, and he did.

"You have always been wise beyond your years, little one. A Jedi consular if there ever was one."

You laid your head on his chest, enjoying the moment, dancing in the darkness of an abandoned room of the opera house. Within the arms of the man you loved over everything else in this galaxy. You would sacrifice it all for him, leaving nothing in the wake of the universe, except for Obi-Wan Kenobi.

You let your eyes fall closed, feeling all the love, and all the light coursing through your veins. It was almost like a meditative state, the way you branched your signature out so fluidly, wrapping around not only him, but the energy in the air.

He could feel your soft presence nudging at his own, and he relaxed, embracing it whole and letting himself be overtaken by you alone.

It was so untraditional, and it would have been seen as a defiant disgrace of the act, but you were meditating on him.

There was a low thrum of heat by your hip where your saber hung, but you ignored it, keeping in tune with this moment and everything that surrounded it.

-

@spencerrxids @sawendel @fandomstanner24 @i-shall-abide @officialjellydoughnut @whatshxrname @darkened-writer @superavengerpotter @cutiepoo16 @hypnoash @softlymellow @howlerwolfmax @mephistominion @honestlywtfisgoingon @anakinskywalkerog @mandiiellen @je--a-n @guyinachair27 @avenger5-a55emble @amelia-song-pond @kaminanii @the-abyss-of-fandoms @queenofnightdreamland @world-dominating-kitty @mandowhatnow @ella-error505 @annahalo @infinity-witch @beetlejuice-stuff @liueski @solarbxby @sirianisrock @lxdyred @endless-warrior-always-fighter @iloveinej @msjb2002 @shoochi @itsilvermorny @gingerrosecosplay @sebschicken @loversjoy @argentinemango @1-800-vader @house-of-kolchek @marierg @graciexmarvel @ttzamara @truly-madly-nerdy @molieux @majahu @dyzlks @pancakefancake

[aphrodite-would-be-proud]

i adore everything you write especially erwin like he’s my number one and u write him so well i keep coming back<3 would love to hear your thoughts on the different types of dates he would take you on :)) ty and i hope you’re well !!

Omfg I really needed to hear this today :( thank you so much💛 you're too kind.

Im so happy to hear that I'm write Erwin i a good way! I've actually been thinking about his character a lot! My Erwin posts actually get the least notes bc he's just underappricated, tho imma make sure to write him more from now on just for you 🥰

I actually really liked this request idea so imma split it in two part bc i don't wanna make a long post

Type of dates with Erwin PT.1 {pt.2 in masterlist}

{ Erwin x reader | tw: none | fluff, romance | modern }

{ "La Lettura" 1873 by Antonio Mancini 1852 - 1930 }

Ideal dates : these are dates he plans up ahead, makes sure they go smoothly and you're both are having fun. He really looks forward to these dates, they're like an event for him. He saves them up for important occasions like your anniversary, valentine's day, birthday, etc.

1. Romantic dinner by candle lights: he's a sucker for classics and romance cliches. Once a month or so, when you're both free. He'd make a reservation at a fancy restaurant, a secluded table with multiple candles and a nice view of the night sky waiting for you.

You'd both dress us, he'd be a gentleman all the way and open the doors for you, tell you how precious you look while kissing your hand. Maybe even a bouquet of fresh flowers if he's feeling extra.

The night would be spent quietly, talking while drinking wine as your food is getting ready. You two could talk together forever and not get bored, he also could listen to you talk about your passions all day.

At dessert time, he slowly falls in love with you again when you offer him a piece of yours, he'll gladly eat it off your fork. You hold hands under the table and he circles his thumb against yours.

When going home, he'd wrap his arm around your waist, your head on his shoulder. It's the perfect night.

2. Picnic near the lake at sunset, ends with stargazing: this usually takes place in spring or summer, maybe even autumn. When the weather is just perfect and the sky is just clear enough. You both prepare a basket before hand, he wears a light blue shirt to match his eyes.

You arrive around lunch time, having picked a nice place under a tree to shield you from the sun. The sound of children playing in the distance quieting down as time goes on. You both prepared each other's favourite food before hand.

It's around sunset when he wraps the blanket you bought with you around you, the wind having picked up. He kisses your forehead before pulling you closer to his side. You watch the sunset together as the ducks in the lake swim lazily around.

When it's completely dark, is when you finally lay down together, facing the sky. You point to a certain formation and he tangles his fingers with yours before guiding them to the next, he knows a lot about the stars. He shows you the fading ones who's only remains are ghosts of their pasts, he also shows you the newly formed ones who's light is just reaching us.

With your head on his chest, his calm deep voice talking about the stars and the warmth the blanket is offering, you fall asleep.

You wake up in the passenger seat on the ride home, glancing to the side you can see him driving with a smile on his face, he looks happy, relaxed even. You go back to sleep.

3. Going to see a musical together: it's one of the dates he really looks forward too, he's actually a huge musicals nerd but only his close friends know that. So what's better than mixing his favourite thing to watch with his favourite person? You!

He knows the tickets are expensive but he promises you it's worth the inconvenience, so you book two seats online.

When you arrive, you sit next to each other while the room is slowly getting filled. You can hear the actors getting ready off-stage but can't make out what they're saying. Erwin is next to you looking through the play flyer they gave and explaining the story to you.

That day, is the most day you've seen Erwin laugh from the depth of his heart. He'd look at you each time something really funny happens. Squeeze your hand a bit whenever an intense scene is happening. Bring your hand against his lips for a second when a romantic scene is happening.

He's just fully emerged into it. When you see the shine in his eyes, the way his lips curl up just a bit, is when you realise how beautiful Musicals are.

It becames a habit to visit one each year on his birthday.

4. Go to a museum or an art gallery: one thing you've learned from being with Erwin, is that he can turn the most boring things interesting. He just has a way with words and a matching deep voice to go with it, he could read the ingredients on the back of a shampoo bottle and you'd still listen.

Naturally, it was just a matter of time before one of you suggested visiting a museum. You pick a day when not a lot of people would be there.

He makes it fun, interesting and actually educational. You've been walking peacefully in long corridors with paintings and other forms of art displayed around each corner. He seems to have endless knowledge about each piece, telling you both a secret funny fact about it and a base knowledge.

The perfect tour guide, he encourages you to participate and even guess information based on the art and how it makes you feel. He smiles whenever you get something right and chuckles when you don't, it's a win-win situation.

5. Horseback riding: this one happens whenever you visit his parents who retired in the country side, they're really lovely people and seem to genuinely like you. Not to mention how Erwin just shows you off proudly to his parents like you're made out of pure gold.

It's a quiet small town that makes you forget about the city, the air is refreshing and the people are kind, the patries are delicious and the baker is kind. You two could get lost walking near fields of flowers for hours.

He assures you that you have all the time to try everything else, for now he's excited to show you something he's been doing since he was a kid.

The people at the stable seem to recognise him, even the horses are kinder to him than you. You're a bit jealous you won't lie, but he just guides through befriending a certain white horse with braids in it's hair. You even manage to feed them some sugar cubes.

You've underestimate just how tall a horse is, so now when faced with the option to ride on its back you almost back away. Meanwhile Erwin looks really natural and comfortable just getting on one, is this the same man who didn't know you could turn your phone screen sideways till you showed him?

So you end up sharing a horse, he wraps your hands around his waist and tells you to trust him, it will be okay. And just when a glimmer of hope rises in your heart that maybe this isn't as scary as you thought, that man somehow makes the horse go so fast it almost rivals the speed of sound, at least in your mind it did.

It's the most fun and adventures date so far, your heart is pumping by the end of the day as adrenaline runs through your veins. You're both panting and he seems like a kid on Christmas.

Thankfully his parents somehow foresaw this happening and prepared dinner for both of you while apologising for their son. Soon enough, they arm you with enough embarrassing childhood stories about Erwin for later use.

6. Visiting historical spots: it's something his father suggested to you both while you're getting the car ready to drive home. Soon enough you were discussing it while on the road and both of you seemed to be on-board.

It's an actually entirely different experience to see these places in person than in photos in school history books. Everything is so much bigger than you expected, so much older and all the details.

You can see all the different angles just by walking around, both of you seem to be entranced at just how strangely alluring it is to see this great build and know it's more than 500 years old, even Erwin seems to be lost for words for once.

The memories you made, the silly photos you took, the places you held hand and kissed in. It's all was just so lovely. And so it becomes a yearly tradition that you both save up for.

[yehet-about-it]

Chase Me | Part 17 - Lock The Door Next Time

⇐ || ☆ Masterlist ☆ || ⇒

🎮👾 ~ The Boyz Social Media AU ~ 👾🎮

"Twitching" is a British term used to mean "the pursuit of a previously located rare bird." In North America it is more often called chasing...

Pairings: Changmin x Reader, Sunwoo x Reader

Warnings: 17+, language, some smut in later chapters, fuckboy!sunwoo 😉

Updates Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday @ 9pm GMT/1pm PST

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ

Word Count: 3.1k (I am SO sorry... although I'm kind of not bc I lowkey love this chapter) Warnings: Mature content, may involve maStUrBaTioN, a whole lot of embarrassment and Chanhee having the time of his goddamn life bc its not him in the awkward situation for once 🙃

You sighed, dropping your unreasonably heavy camera bag on the table as you walked into the living room, Chanhee in close pursuit looking equally as tired. You’d spent several long hours at a shoot for a new project you’d been hired to do and had come back to the boys’ apartment to do some editing before you called it quits for the day.

“Should we order food now?” You called out as Chanhee went to his room to unload his gear and fetch his macbook for editing. You knew you needed to work but you hadn’t eaten since the morning and you couldn’t stop the thoughts of takeout food swirling around in your head. “Mm, the Chinese?” Chanhee replied sitting down across the table. “Can you go and ask Changmin if he wants anything while I set this up? He’s probably in his room.”

You nodded happily, perking up at the prospect of food and left Chanhee to upload the photos from the day whilst you went off in search of Changmin. He wasn’t in their gaming room as you walked by so you continued down the corridor towards his room. As you neared his door you could hear a murmur, and coming to a stop outside the room you recognised your name being called by Changmin, only it was ever so quiet, barely audible through the wood of the door, so you figured maybe it was just him registering your presence. Assuming he’d realised you were there, you swung the door open not quite expecting the scene that was presented before you. Changmin was sat on his bed, propped up against the pillows with his lips parted, hair hanging low in front of his eyes, and scanning further down you saw that his sweatpants were bunched low on his hips as his hand gripped what appeared to be a very hard erection. You let out a shriek as you realised what you had stumbled upon, immediately slamming the door back shut and racing down the corridor before Changmin even had chance to react.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” You repeated it like a mantra, your heart pounding from the shock as you slid back into the living room and into your chair opposite New. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” Chanhee asked in bewilderment looking at you as though you’d just committed the 7 deadly sins. “I should have knocked!” you squeaked burying your face in your palms in total, unfathomed embarrassment. You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself, but the image of Changmin’s hand wrapped snugly around his length, pleasuring himself as he uttered your name was well and truly burned into your brain.

“What? Why?” Chanhee asked, a puzzled expression forming from his features. “He- oh my word- he was- touchi- Ugh I can’t say it!” you whined. “He wasn’t…? Oh my god...” Eventually realising what had happened, a hysterical fit of laughter erupted from your best friends throat as you hid behind your hands, your cheeks most definitely flushed with the brightest pink. “Oh my god that idiot” Chanhee cackled, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes from the sheer force of his laughter. You sank down in your chair a pained smile on your face as you couldn’t help but be affected by Chanhee’s reaction. “Chanhee what am I gonna do? I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again!” You wailed, the howling starting to dye down as Chanhee regained his composure. “Not my problem” Chanhee teased. “I’ll make it your problem” you replied stroppily, whacking him lightly on the arm in annoyance. “Ow!” Chanhee clutched his arm in feigned pain before proceeding to laugh at you once again. “It’s not funny Chanhee! This is so awkward!”

You had by now gotten over the initial shock of seeing one of your longest friends exposed like that, and now you were wondering how the hell you were gonna get over the awkwardness of the situation. But most of all, you were wondering why the hell he’d been moaning your name of all names and what that meant. Not that you were going to mention that to New. That would open a whole new can of worms and lead this conversation down a whole new road that you didn’t particularly want to explore, as well as give Chanhee even more ammunition for further teasing.

“That’s exactly why it IS funny.” Chanhee chided, whipping his phone out, presumably either to tease Changmin or get the Chinese menu up, or both. “Guess he won’t be joining us for the Chinese then?” You rolled your eyes at Chanhee’s teasing (though also legitimate) question. “Well it’s not like I stuck around to ask.” You crossed your arms as you gave Chanhee a warning glare. “Fine, I’ll ask him then.” He said, and your phone lit up on the table a moment later – of course he’d mentioned it in your group chat.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ

Changmin had heard Chanhee’s cackling from his room at the other end of the apartment and had been mentally cursing for the duration, his face perhaps an even brighter shade of scarlet than yours. Of all of the awkward things to happen, the girl he liked and one of his best friends walking in while he was halfway to climax thinking about her had to be the most unfortunate. Firstly there was the problem of how he’d ever look you in the eye again, but secondly was the problem that remained below his waistline. You walking in hadn’t helped that of course. If it had been Chanhee or Kevin walking in, his stiffness would have gone in a split second, but despite the embarrassment of what had just happened, his length remained taut against his boxers which he’d quickly pulled back up in shock after your momentary appearance. He was no longer in the mood to continue, too worried about what you might be thinking, so he decided his only option was to go for a cold shower in the hope that that might fix it.

Before he had the chance to hop in however, his phone buzzed, showing a text from New. He groaned as he read the older boys words, knowing that he’d never live this down whining again when he realised the texts were sent not just to him but to your group chat. Thankfully Changmin had already eaten, although he wouldn’t mind a bit of Chinese, but given the current awkwardness he decided to pass up on the offer for food. He would probably be able to face you later but if he ordered food he’d have to sit with you to eat it, and the embarrassment was stilll far too fresh for that to be a comfortable affair, so he quickly typed out his reply and hopped in the shower to deal with the problem beneath his pants.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ

An hour or so later you and Chanhee had just about finished your editing for the day and were tucking into your food, but you still hadn’t heard a peep out of Changmin. You sighed, finishing your bowl of jajangmyeon, feeling a little guilty that Changmin wasn’t sharing in the joys of your takeout food, all because you’d been dumb enough not to knock. “Hm maybe I should take him something” you sighed looking across all the cartons of food you’d ordered. Maybe he had actually eaten already, but there was so much, and you were sure he’d like some. “You’re not going to eat all that are you?” You asked Chanhee, nodding to the half full box of kkanpunggi in the middle. Chanhee just shrugged. “You sure you want to go back in there?” He sniggered as he asked the question, deliberately trying to provoke you. “No I am not, but I’m not going to avoid him forever just because I’ve seen his dick” you declared defiantly, making Chanhee almost spit out his boba as he doubled over in laughter. However awkward you were feeling, you’d have to face each other eventually. Normally you wouldn’t be so thrown off by something like this, for instance, you’d once accidentally walked in on Kevin going at it with someone one time when you’d stayed over at Sunwoo’s, but you’d just greeted it with an ew and laughed about it later. The only thing that had you feeling so utterly flustered was the sound of him uttering your name whilst he was clearly having some ‘time to himself’, but since you figured he wouldn’t necessarily be aware you’d heard that, you decided you’d be able to brush it off for now and pretend like everything was just peachy.

“Well just remember to knock this time” Chanhee quipped as you stood up, taking the box of spicy garlic fried chicken with you, picking up some of the spare chopsticks the restaurant had sent too. You grinned sarcastically at Chanhee, your eyes silently telling him he was an asshole, before disappearing off down the hall to Changmin’s room, praying that he’d be fully tucked into his pants this time. “Changmin? Can I come in?” you called as you knocked tentatively on his door. You heard some shuffling and low muttering before he answered with an uncertain “sure”.

Swinging the door open for the second time this evening you were relieved to see Changmin perched on his bed, fully clothed with an xbox controller in his lap and his headset to the side of him. You saw the overwatch character select screen flickering brightly on his tv screen too so you could only assume he was playing online with someone. “Oh you’re playing? Who’s on?” you asked quietly as you walked a couple of steps into the room, the carton of kkanpunggi still in hand. “Uh, just Eric.” Changmin replied, his eyes darting around the room as he struggled to make eye contact with you, for understandable reasons. “Hi Eric!” You sang loudly so he could hear you through the microphone. Though it was quiet, only coming from Changmin’s headset you heard a faint chuckle and Eric’s voice returning the greeting. “I brought you some kkanpunggi, I thought you might like some, it’s really good” you said, turning your attention back to the boy actually in the room.

Changmin’s expression softened watching as you stood there, proudly holding up the box of chicken and chopsticks. Even after what happened you were still thoughtful enough to bring him nice food so he wouldn’t miss out. What he wouldn’t give to be able to just pull you onto his lap and feed one other the delicious food, cleaning up any stray sauce with kisses. In his dreams he thought.

“Awh how come he gets chicken?” Eric whined through the headphones pulling Changmin out of his daydream. “KEVIN-HYUNG CAN WE GET CHICKEN?!” The sudden loudness of the younger boy through the headphones made you giggle, and you shared an amused look with Changmin. As bizarre as it was though, you were rather grateful for Eric’s random inputs which actually seemed to have the effect of relieving some of the tension in the room.

“Yah be quiet! I’m not even wearing my headphones and that hurt my ears!” Changmin called towards his headset shutting the younger boy up with an insincere sorry. “Oh it smells good, thank you y/n!” Changmin smiled sweetly at you as you placed the box down on the side table next to his bed. “That’s okay!” You replied, moving a few steps away again before looking nervously towards Changmin’s headset. You wanted to apologise for your earlier intrusion to get it out of the way, but you definitely didn’t want Eric to be witness to that, so you lowered your voice to a whisper. “Oh um, so I’ll be leaving in a bit, I just wanted to say sorry for earlier, I um- I should probably have knocked before I came in.”

Changmin could feel the heat rising in his cheeks being reminded of the earlier incident and although his hair mostly covered it, the tips of his ears were now definitely a blazing pink. “Oh-“ He was frankly a little stuck for words. He’d been sat in his room for the better part of an hour rehearsing what he might say to you in his head, but now you’d come in here to apologise, with chicken no less, he didn’t really have an answer for you. “Uh- it’s okay,” he mumbled. “Sorry you had to see that.”

Before it could get too awkward however, you snickered as you heard Eric and Kevin clearly having an argument about chicken faintly through the headphones still laying next to Changmin and you thanked your lucky stars that they evidently weren’t listening to you and Changmin’s awkward exchange. “Well I promise I’ll knock next time.” Changmin chuckled, running a hand sheepishly through his hair as you moved back toward the door. “I’ll let you get back to the game if those two ever stop arguing, I’ll see you later yeah?”

Changmin nodded and said goodbye as you slipped out to return to the dining table where New sat, a mischievous glint in his eye as he grinned at you. “On a scale of 1 to Eric talking to girls, just how awkward was he?” He asked, clearly trying to stifle his laughter. “Shut up New” you scoffed as you began picking up the empty food cartons to throw in the trash. This little shit was gonna milk this out for as long as possible and you weren’t here for it. “Well at least you didn’t scream and run out this time” he bantered, only to be met with a look of pure contempt from you as he passed you one of the empty food containers. “I am this close to pouring this black bean sauce all over that new balenciaga t-shirt Chanhee” you threatened holding out a carton that had the remains of some sauce wobbling about in the bottom. Chanhee jumped back covering his shirt with his hands, knowing that it wasn’t an empty threat from another time he’d pissed you off and you threw half a cup of peach tea all over him. It was a waste of the tea, but he’d had it coming. “That’s what I thought.” You proclaimed before disappearing into the kitchen to dispose of the containers.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ

On your way home your head was filled with all kinds of thoughts about what you’d unintentionally just witnessed. All you really wanted to do was relax after a long day of work and carrying heavy equipment around, but all you could think about was your name on Changmin’s lips and what the hell it meant. Was it just an accident? Or if it wasn’t, did that confirm everything that Kevin had been telling you? Did Changmin really like you? There had been an undeniable vibe between you for the past few weeks, what with the increasing amount of time you spent together and the intimate moment on the roof last night, but until this weekend, you hadn’t thought about it much, your mind largely preoccuppied with your anger towards Sunwoo.

Your mind flipped through your memories with Changmin as you sat on the tube, trying to make sense of everything, and as you did so, it dawned on you. Kevin was right. Changmin liked you. Perhaps that was even what he had tried to tell you the previous night before Jeju had abruptly cut him off. You recalled all the times Changmin had sat with you and listened to you rant about Sunwoo, the way he’d been so angry the day after that one fateful party, and how he’d always been there waiting for you with a hug when you were down. It was a wonder you’d never realised it before. Perhaps Changmin’s warm presence in your life had just become so natural you never thought anything of it, but it was becoming increasingly clear that this wasn’t just two friends looking out for eachother. No, it was more than that.

You felt a heat in your chest as you processed this revelation, trying to make sense of your own feelings. You adored Changmin, but then who didn’t? The way his dimples made him look like the sweetest angel whenever he smiled, the way his eyes lit up whenever he discovered something really interesting, the way he couldn’t stop himself from giggling even at the most inappropriate moments. It was impossible not to like him. But then not everybody knew him like you. They didn’t have your relationship. Changmin had always been there for you, even though it was Chanhee you called your best friend and Sunwoo he called his. He always seemed to know exactly what you needed – when to give you space, when to give you hugs or when to make you laugh so hard you cried. Upon reflection, there was no one who came close to making you feel as happy and comfortable as Changmin did. You couldn’t think of a single occasion he hadn’t made you smile and you slowly began to realise… Was it possible… that you liked him too?

Then the thoughts of Sunwoo swarmed your mind. Did he know Changmin was into you? No of course not. They weren’t on the best of terms right now but you imagined it would be a hell of a lot worse if he did know his best friend was infatuated with his ex-girlfriend. If anything were to happen between you and Changmin, Sunwoo would be outraged for certain. But maybe that was what he deserved. He’d lost the right to an opinion on your life when he tried to get back with you by sleeping with you when you were drunk. Although perhaps falling for his best friend was a little far…

You leaned your head back against the glass of the subway train, sighing as your mind replayed the memory of Changmin’s breathless expression as his hand gripped his manhood. You kind of wished it would stop, not wanting the embarrassment of getting so worked up in public, but you just couldn’t tear your thoughts away from it. After your newfound revelation, you were getting dangerously close to imagining what had been happening before you walked in, and what sort of things he might have been thinking of doing – you nearly missed your stop in your dazed state but thankfully the announcement pulled you out of your thoughts and you rushed to the doors just in time to hop off before they closed and the train sped off into the distance, away from you and your insurmountable dilemma.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*･ﾟ✧･ﾟ

Taglist: @lovelymultiwrites @shiberrysan @m4rshm4llow @softforqiankun @sktbzc0re @staysstrays @softyfor-sweaterpaws @glxwingstar @chiefturtlebonkghost @faiirybread @lolibaaae @younggwingss @sunqnew @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @mx23 @bbangsoonie @seokgyuu @ateez-babygirl

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[lovetenya]

𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬: 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧

pairing: tamaki amajiki x gn! reader

warnings: pretty angsty, relationship anxiety, fear of abandonment, descriptions/imaginations of choking (it’s figurative and imaginary, it’s demonstrated with snakes), hurt/comfort, reassurance, worrying, ???, ENDS IN FLUFF I PROMISE!!

word count: 1.7k 

author’s note: okay OKAY I’m sorry this took so long, i’m now onto the ones that i’m coming up with completely from scratch, because i’m not writing them from outlines. as always, this is all over the place bc i love inserting 294848 different scenarios into one work. someday, maybe, i will focus on one plot line. today is not that day. ALTHOUGH THIS ISN’T THAT BAD BY MY STANDARDS, I’M SORRY TAMAKI, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

being in love with tamaki amajiki is green.

it’s the small, fragile beansprouts he grew from the tips of his fingers at lunch time when you were kids, and he was trying to show you that his quirk was nothing to be afraid of. the other kids didn’t talk to him because they thought his tentacles were scary, but you just thought they were neat. 

he knew you before he knew mirio, and you were the reason he even considered talking to the loud, sunshine boy in the first place. you gave him the confidence to try to make new friends, to try to choke down the green of the nausea that comes with uncertainty.

“maybe not everyone is going to be mean to me,” he thought, slightly emboldened at the fact that he had a friend now. ‘y/n,” he thought. “they’re my friend now...”

it all started years ago in primary school when you noticed how he sat alone at his desk, drawing pictures of animals while the other kids played. his crayons never seemed to stop moving, and the green jungles he colored were detailed with a wide variety of wildlife and plants. 

he liked to be alone, where it was quiet and safe, and nobody would pick on him or ask too much of him. everyone knew that the tears that formed on his lashes were a common occurrence, so they tried to avoid pressing him too much. his peace usually remained undisturbed, until there was you. 

you walked up to show him a drawing you made of a spider. he jumped in fear, both at the drawing of a weirdly-realistic spider, but also the fact that someone was talking to him. 

“why don’t they know to just leave me alone?” he thought, already shaking in his seat. his blood ran cold, spit filled his mouth, and a bright green nausea overtook all of his senses. he looked up at your face, wincing and bracing himself for a playground insult. kids were creative, and he knew that all too well. 

“hi.. amajiki. i like your drawing. do you like animals too?”

“mm-hm..” he softly replied. this was new.

“what’s your favorite one?” you knew to keep it simple, because he clearly wasn’t comfortable speaking. he never raised his hand, even when his favorite subjects were brought up in class or when everyone was encouraged to participate. this time, however, was different. this time, there was you.

where mirio was his sun, you were his stars.

where mirio loudly encouraged him, you provided your gentle, guiding support, and always proved to be a perfect shoulder to lean a head into.

“i.. i like butterflies a lot.”

and so it began.

—

since you met, there were many periods of closeness and distance between you and tamaki, which is typical of childhood friends. you could go weeks without talking and then come right back together, making each other giggle with your newest ideas about the funniest things tamaki could do with his quirk. 

one day, you joked, “what if you ate a clam, manifested the shell, and then just knocked somebody over the head with it??? the guy would fall down like blehhh and that would be so funny!!!”

he laughed a little, before deadpanning. “wait a minute.... i think.. i think you might be onto something.”

—

tamaki remembers that the most nervous he’s ever been was while your relationship was still green. the two of you took a walk through a community garden after grabbing a quick dinner with mirio and nejire, and the two of them mysteriously had to leave at the same time, leaving the two of you alone. (the return of ultimate wingmen, mirio and nejire!) 

normally, he’d feel anxious about being in public, but he was okay because you were right there with him. you were here, walking shoulder to shoulder with him, through a garden full of butterflies. what more could he ask for? 

he didn’t have to worry about being judged or being teased, because it was you. the leaves surrounding you felt like nothing more than company. as you made your way through the beautiful maze of plants, flowers, and stone statues, it was just you two in the whole wide world, taking it all in and enjoying each other’s company.

although he hadn’t always known what his feelings meant, he now realized that he’s a crush on you for as long as he could remember. while mirio had several different flings, tamaki always had his eyes on you. nobody was as understanding, as considerate, and as perfect as you. he didn’t want to be like this with anyone but you.

his hand twitched toward yours, but he didn’t dare. he couldn’t risk the pain of rejection, he wouldn’t risk it. if it meant he could possibly lose you, it wasn’t worth it. luckily for tamaki, you didn’t share the same fear, and slowly took his hand in yours. he harshly avoided eye contact, desperate to not let you see his crimson red blush. you knew he had a hard time telling people what he really felt, but he wasn’t usually this quiet with you. 

“tamaki, is this okay?” you questioned.

“yeah. it’s.. good. i like it.”

—

green is the matcha-flavored boba tea that tamaki sips on while you’re on a date. he asks, “y/n, do you like seafood?” before he balances a boba pearl on the tip of his tongue and laughs. what a dork, you think, and then balance a pearl on yours. this is what tamaki needed sometimes, normal moments of relaxation, and you’re more than happy to provide him with it.

—

however, being in love with tamaki is also loving him through the moments that are hard, and when you can’t lean on each other, because it’s all too much. the moments where the problem is between you, and isn’t easily defined and solved. these are the moments when he’s green with envy, or sick to his stomach with worry, or overrun with anxiety at the most simple things. 

these are the moments where you’re tired, or overwhelmed, or you just can’t handle his emotional intensity today, even though you wish you could. you love him, of course you do, there would never be a moment in time where your heart wasn’t bursting for him, but every person has their limits.

these breaking moments are the ones where one of you blurts something you don’t mean in a moment of anger, cracking the meticulously constructed façade, which is in place to spare the other’s feelings.

they’re the moments where your mind goes blank, and all you can think of is, “i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i’m sorry.”

they’re the moments spent frantically comforting, speaking through tears, words spilling out. they’re the moments where his head lays sobbing in your lap, and his arms circle your waist, desperate to hold onto something, anything. desperate to hold onto you, so that you don’t leave him. your words come out shaky, because even they aren’t really sure how to make this all better. how can you fix what was never meant to be broken? it’s uncertain, but you can’t ever finish if you never begin. you reassure him as many times as he needs to hear it.

“god, i’m so sorry, tamaki, i didn’t mean it, i promise i didn’t mean it.”

even though he says he forgives you, that it’s over with, you know he’s replaying every lilt of your voice, where it broke when you were angry. 

you know he’s feeling more than he lets on, but doesn’t share those intensities because he doesn’t want to come on too strong. you know better than to trust a simple “i’m fine, y/n. really.”

he’s not lying just to lie, because he’s never felt anything truer than his love for you. he’s doing it because he doesn’t want you to understand the heartbreak that often comes with love. he doesn’t want you to feel suffocated, or like you’re being strangled by thousands of emerald green scaled snakes. 

he doesn’t want you to feel their bodies coiled around your throat, like he does. 

he doesn’t want you to feel their scales: cool yet burning, smooth yet slicing, glide across your skin gently, intending to strangle. 

he doesn’t want you to feel their eyes boring into you, threatening under the ruse of being calculating. 

he doesn’t want you to feel what he does, so he hides it. even though he knows he shouldn’t, he can’t help it.

he can’t help how much he loves you, how afraid he is to lose you, how scared he gets whenever mirio and you are paired up together for a class.

he can’t help that he feels like time is running out, your life together is wilting away, and that you’re slipping through his fingers like fine sand.

but you know, truly and wholeheartedly, that his insecurity didn’t deem him invaluable or unworthy of love. his fear and his worries didn’t take away your love, and they never would. every moment spent reminding him that i’m not going anywhere, was worth it. because he’s worth it, and this was something worth fighting for. he’s worth the fighting and the courage it all takes, because he is what makes you whole. he, and everything he is, is worth loving, because there’s value to the things that break us.

--

being in love with tamaki is grassy green countrysides and wildflower stems, and finding little adventures in every single day. it’s reassurance through the irrational, it’s validation through the pain. it’s not loving despite, it’s loving because.

loving tamaki is green in its youth, in its freshness, in its refreshing reminder that you are loved. you are loved so vividly, so intensely, so naturally. 

tamaki loves you, and you know that, because he wouldn’t be able to muster the courage to let those words spill unless he really, truly meant it.

with you, tamaki can let a little loose, a little bit wild. he can let the vines restraining him wilt away into nothing.

because no matter what, it’s all worth it in the end.

—

thanks for reading! love, tj 🪶

color series masterlist

main masterlist

[herstarburststories]

Sensitive There

A/N: My beta asked me if I was drunk when writing this. 

My part for @kalesrebellion​’s Bring On The Giggles challenge. 

Prompts: front butt & cum gun

Summary: You and Dean get drunk, which leads to a new sexual experience.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: dirty talk, smut, nipple play, Sam being a cockblock, humping, excessive use of the word nipple, purposely written like that bc crack

A distantly familiar smell invaded your nostrils as soon as you entered the bar, but it was different; nothing like the lingering after current of alcohol that wafted through the air after a long day’s hunt. Dean had his arm on your shoulders as he and Sam talked way too excitedly about something that you didn't bother enough to pay attention to. Dear Chuck, that hunt truly drowned all your energy. Thankfully, the place with shining letters on the front door was only ten minutes away. You already felt your mood lift and a relaxed smile sneak onto your lips just for being here. What was a better way to lift your spirits than grossly excessive amounts of alcohol?

So, that is what not only you, but Sam and Dean did as well. Apparently, you weren't the only one sorely in need of a whiskey vacation. By noon, even Sam was drunk.

Fuck, how long had it been since you and the Winchesters got properly wasted? Not the daily beers or the occasional scotch, but really drunk, just for the sake of it.

‘’I'm gonna shoot you with my cum gun.’’

You giggled at Dean, somehow finding his words exciting. Drunk flirting after a hunt was pretty much how you both ended together, mostly because you weren't soberly hearing his pick up lines.

Your chin rested on your hand as you leaned in. ‘’Yeah, babe? Where? On my chest? Or maybe right on my…’’

“Front butt,” Sam interjected, a proud grin on his lips for helping you to complete your sentence.

You and Dean turned to glare at the other person on the table, furrowed brows and slightly opened mouths in surprise. Who the fuck called a vagina that? Especially Sammy. 

“What?”

“No, dude. You can't be serious? Front butt? Really?” Dean threw himself on the chair, shaking his head and taking a deep breath.

Sam tried to defend himself. “I forgot the name!”

“Call it filet mignon!” Now it was your and Sam's turn to glance at him a questioning tilt of the eyes, confusion alit on your features.. Dean arched his eyebrows, wasn't it obvious? “Because it's delicious and made of beef.”

You sighed, pouring another glass of vodka with soda. “We really should talk about your weird psychosexual obsession with food.”

“Before you came along, he said that waitresses were his favorite because they smelled like burgers.” Dean slapped his brother's shoulder, exclaiming a dude! as if he had told you a secret. “What? You said!”

Whether it was because you knew Dean or the fact that your blood was slowly turning into alcohol, you weren't actually surprised by Sam's information.

You shrugged. “He got turned on when he saw me wearing his hotdog pajamas.”

“Can we focus on Sam calling your pussy a front butt?” Dean huffed, taking a sip of his whiskey. In an attempt to shift the focus, he smirked at Sammy. “Maybe you should try a guy, they are all butt.”

“And balls. And penis,” you added, sighing dramatically before placing your hand on Dean's thigh. “I like your penis.”

The eldest Winchester looked to his leg, pushing his tongue against his teeth. All the mental images suddenly coming to mind involved you and a bit more of alcohol were very welcoming to him and his big cum gun. He definitely wanted to shoot you. And hey, he was always good with aiming  Dean could bet he could hit right in your hole.

Even a bit tipsy.

“Sam, stay here while we use the Impala.” He raised to his feet, pulling you with him. You giggled, pecking on neck only to gain a quiet moan in turn. His body was always so responsive to you.

Sammy, however, had another idea. He was completely oblivious to what you and Dean were up to. His brows knitted together along with a soft pout.

“What? You guys are just gonna leave me here? I want to go back to the motel too,” he said with a fragile tone, clearly sad about being left alone.

With a cocky smile upon his lips, Dean was quick to reply, “Unless you want see a front butt and a butt, I advise you to stay here until we come back.” 

“But I want to go, too. I'm sleepy,” Sammy whined, and your heart ached a little. He just wanted to spend time with his big brother and you. Wasn't it adorable?

Not in a threesome way. That would be weird. Two brothers fucking the same girl was weird, especially when she dated one of them, but Sam and Dean were hot in so many different ways. One had a physique of a fucking professional athlete and the other had Greek beauty with rough hands. And Sam's hair was so long... Did he let the girls he was with pull his hair? All right, but threesome with brothers was a level of incest. Even if they always fought in sync, so hypothetically, fucking the same girl could be just as good.

You shook your head, trying to push this image away. You'd never consider this after sobering up.

Tipsy brain, stop. Drunk imagination was wild.

Maybe that is why that author told people to write drunk.

“You are drunk.” Dean's voice managed to take you away from that dark place of your mind where you could see nasty images very, very clearly.

Sam huffed, gesturing with slow exasperation. “So what? I can be two things.”

“Yeah, a bitch and a cockblock.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“Dean!” You scoffed, but your boyfriend just shrugged, not feeling guilty. “Let's go to the motel, Sam.”

Fortunately, the motel was only two blocks far, which made it easier for the gang to walk and stumble there. 

As soon as the door was open, Sam collapsed on the couch. Dean lost in the middle of the living room, his eyes searching everywhere to find the beds. They got a motel without beds? Well, at least there was a carpet on the floor. That could work.

He could use your butt as a pillow!

“Awesome!” Dean said to himself, turning around to find you. Sam snoring on the couch, check. A refrigerator that probably had some beers, check. He finally found you after a complete spin, seeing you against the door. Girlfriend pillow, check. “Y/N?”

“Sam and I got burritos while you were talking to the sheriff this morning. Mexican food, Dean.” Your voice was low and threatening, like you were telling a horror story. Dean gulped, knowing exactly what you meant. Glare lost on Sam's figure, you continued, “We've brought hell on us.”

As if he'd heard a calling, a farting sound echoed. And then another.

“It's starting... We have to run, Y/N.”

You didn't wait any further, immediately latching onto his hand and walking fast through the motel. Dean almost tipped on his feet, but he knew the mission was more important for the greater good — for his boner and your nose.

You slammed the door shut, waking up a scared Sam. You could hear him hit the floor with a loud thump, but you knew you had to save your oxygen while you still could.

“That one was lethal.” Dean rubbed his hands on his face, and you agreed, breathing fresh air in relief. He observed the room, surprise flickering across his features. “We have a bed.”

“Of course we do.” You plopped onto the mattress, looking at him with a sexy smile. “And we should use it.”

He gave you a lopsided grin. “I couldn't agree more, sweetheart.” 

Dean started to take his clothes off, and you bit your lower lip at the sight. When the black shirt was thrown on the other side of the bedroom, you started giggling. Dean arched his eyebrows. That wasn't the reaction he expected.

“Your nipples are funny,” you said, still grinning. Wait, were yours like this too? You threw your shirt away, happily already not wearing a bra. “My nipples are funny too. Nipple high five!”

You raised from the bed and touched your nipples with Dean's, who was watching with an adorable, confused face. As soon as your nipples brushed against each other, it was Dean's turn to whimper like a baby.

“Sweetheart, you know my nipples are sensitive.” He pulled away with a smile, uncharacteristically shy for him. 

“I know, but what if it's a good thing?” You held his hand, intertwining your fingers as you led Dean to the bed. You felt light after all those drinks, and you could tell that Dean did, too. You both should have fun with that. “My clit is sensitive and I like when you touch me there.”

“What do you — “ You pushed him to lay on his back, soon jumping on top of him. “Woah, woman!” Dean's eyes were twinkling with much desire, or maybe he was just wasted — you couldn’t tell. Anyway, you would make sure to fulfill this necessity. 

“Besides,” you said, running your hands across his chest, enjoying the view and the not so subtle way Dean's body reacted to your touch. His green eyes were glowing anxiously for your next step. “Cosmopolitan says that we should give men more nipple love, too.” You smiled, surrounded by some nasty ideas. You leaned in, allowing your tongue to circle the outline of his nipple before catching it with your lips.

Dean's eyes shut closed as he bit his lip, the sweet agony lighting him up like a comet. He gripped the sheets tightly in an attempt to compose himself. Your skilled tongue proceeded to swirl his nipple a bit, pressing the wet tip against it before sucking lightly. 

This time, the Winchester couldn't help but exhale a needy moan. Fuck, was it supposed to feel so good? He loved to suck your boobs and imagine knocking you up to get cream from them like you did on his dick, but he never considered you playing with his chest.

Your hand found its way to his free nipple and started to rub it with your thumb, teasing the sensitive skin with a light blow before anything else. You already had gone a bit too fast on his other pinkened nipple for the simple fact of horniness. You could feel his nipple hardening against your finger, while you suck on his other one.

“Sweetheart, you are killing me.” His hold on the blanket tightened, his thick cock fighting to be free of his pants. You felt his cum gun getting ready to blow on your leg and adjusted yourself on top of him, sitting in his lap as you still worked on his breast. “Fuck.”

You pinched his nipple with your fingertips, gaining back a moan of pleasure. You moved your hips back and forth while riding him like a cowgirl, rubbing his erect dick with your wet pussy. You were both still clothed. Ultimately, you attempted to bite his nipple, and Dean groaned loudly, almost a scream. His huge hands knotted into your hair as he bucked his hips, pulling you closer to his chest. You kept exploring his arousement from that spot, scratching and sucking harder. You changed nipples, always caressing the lonely one. The faster you two went, the closer you got. Until your bodies went full YEE HAA and both of you reached liberation with a strong orgasm. His cum gun finally shot inside his pants, and you in yours.

You fell beside him on the bed, and Dean wrapped his arm around you to pull you closer. Both were breathless, sweaty, and incredibly sensitive because of the newfound pleasure. You laid your head on his strong shoulder, laughing softly before grabbing the blanket to clean your mess on his chest. You and Dean stayed like that for a few minutes, just catching your breath.

“That was intense.” He smirked at you, throwing his body on top of yours. “But now, I'm gonna shoot you with my cum gun. Gonna dirty your pretty mouth with my white juice. You won't be a veggie once you try my meat, sweetheart.”

Dean's Sweetheart: @akshi8278​  (DEAN’S TAGLIST OPEN) 

Hunter @demonhunterbarbie​ (ALL SPN WORKS TAGLIST OPEN)

[violetnotez]

Okay, can we get more of that Mineta being a perv and the guys protecting their s/o from him shit bc??? Damn that was good. Maybe with like, Todoroki, Sero, Shinsou and maybe a girl?? Like Jirou?

Yes babes I gotchu!!! I’m sorry I don’t write for girls, I have t actually written for one and I’m afraid I’ll screw it up-maybe some day! 🥰

Pairings: Shoto x reader, Shinsou x reader

Original Posting: Includes Kaminari, Bakugo, Izuku, and Kirishima

Shoto

◦Your muscles were aching, your head was pounding slightly- you were just over and done with everything in general and just

◦Wanted. To. Sleep.

◦You were sitting on the couch next to Uraraka and Iida, watching out of boredom as Kaminari and Mineta played Mario Kart

◦You got up, excusing yourself from the sofa-

◦“I think Im gonna go take a shower and get ready for bed, night guys,”

◦Iida and Uraraka politely said good night, Mineta’s ears perking when he heard you say ‘shower’

◦The little gears in Mineta’s perverted head began to start spinning, a plan beginning to concoct in his head

◦ Unknowing to you, Mineta had been staring at you all during training and by staring I meant your chest and ass

◦ So of course this boy is gonna try something to see more of that

◦ Mineta faked a yawn, overly stretching his body- “I think Im gonna go take a nap- night!” and zoomed off, confusing the crap out of Kaminari

◦ MIneta followed you slowly from behind, making sure to stay a few feet away so you wouldnt notice him

◦ He waited for you to enter the girls’ bathroom, making sure no one was around once he heard the shower water start to run

◦ He knew he didnt have much time, so he fought the urge to sneak a peak at you in the shower and decided instead to snatch your clothes off from the counter and run to the living room- if his planned work it would be his best plan yet

◦ What a rude awakening once you stepped out of the shower though, only to find your towel sitting there- you remember grabbing your clothes- so why werent they there?

◦ You then noticed the door to the bathroom was slightly cracked open-there was no way you would leave it open like that

◦Your exhaustion instantly turned to annoyance- it had to be one of your classmates

◦ At that point you didnt care who saw you- you wrapped your body in your towel, your wet hair leaving droplets on the floor as you stomped out into the living room

◦ “Oh verrry funny guys- now were the hell is my clothes!?” you yelled out

◦ Kaminari turned around, and short circuited seeing you only dressed in a towel, Iida was rambling about public deceny as his cheeks turned bright red, Uraraka running up to see what was wrong

◦ MIneta was drooling from behind the couch, his fingers mindlessly looking for his phone- he needed the image of a fresh-out-of-the-shower you permanently in his phone

◦ While you were taking a shower, Shoto had went into the kitchen to make himself some food (yes its cold soba what else would it be) and was just chilling and sitting on the counter of the kitchen eating

◦ But when you came in the living room, clad in nothing but a short towel, your legs glistening, and your hair wet....he almost choked on his soba

◦ Holy crap- he thought you were beautiful, of course he did, but you dressed like that- his body physically couldnt handle you looking that sexy

◦ His body instantly went up a few degrees as he unknowingly stared at your chest for a few moments, shaking his head out of the daze, his cheeks red

◦ He got up form the chair, going to see what was wrong- until he noticed a purple blur out of the corner of his eye

◦ He then saw Mineta, his eyes practically bulging out of his sockets, staring at you, his phone out, the camera aimed. At you.

◦ If you have never seen Shoto mad- ohohoh today is the day

◦ Shoto is usually so calm and collected, but right now, he was practically seeing black- all he could think about was stomping that little purple grape into the carpet. He quickly grabs the phone out of Mineta’s hand, Shotos face clearly pissed off

◦ “What the hell, I was doing something-” Mineta started, but instantly squeaked out of fear once he realized who had taken his phone

◦ Shoto was towering over him, aggresive flames licking up his hands

◦ “What exactly were you doing, Mineta-kun?” Shoto’s voice was dangerously low, his tone filled with venom

◦ “I-I-I-hey!” Mineta shrieked, his wide eyes watching as Shoto froze his phone into a solid block of ice “its not my fault your girlfriends hot!”

◦ As Uraraka was trying to help you brainstorm where your clothes could be, you looked up to the sound of Mineta screaming bloody murder

◦ Shoto currently had MIneta’s shirt balled into his left hand, his right hand raised as flames licked up his skin

◦ You instantly put two and two together, runnng over to stop your boyfriend from doing anything he’d regret later

◦ Shoto was in a pure rage mode, but when he felt your hand on his arm, and turned around to see your face, his anger went down some

◦ But also- your towel had kinda slipped from running over, so know it was exposing more of your legs, and your boobs were pushed up even more as your free hand tried to keep up the towel

◦ His cheeks instantly turn red and lewd thoughts popped into his mind- he had to admit it to himself, he could see why Mineta was being so perverted

◦ But it was still inexcusable- He isntantly wrapped you into a hug, blocking your body from sight

◦ Mineta scrambled across the floor, pulling your clothes from under the sofa- “You’re insane! Here-take them back!”

◦ You had never seen the grape run so fast in his life- after that little incident Mineta was too afriad to even be in the same room as you or Shoto

Shinsou

(*in this one the reader is tipsy, so if your not for that, just skip to the next one 💕)

◦ Shinsou sighed, starting to regret letting you drag him to one of these parties you two are always invited to

◦You always begged him to go, but he always declined-until tonight

◦You had decided to go on your own, wearing a tight black dress that outlined all your curves, your hair and makeup accentuating all your best features

◦You looked delicious, and if he could have his way he would keep you home all night in that little dress-but you were persistent, insisting on going

◦The hell he was going to let you go like that by yourself-he was gonna make sure he supervised you all night

◦Once you two got to the party, all the 1-A girls instantly crowded around you and took you to the dance floor, something Shinsou would be caught dead doing

◦He decides to go sit on the couch and just people watch

◦But immediately he was invited to play some pool with Kaminari and Sero, so he reluctantly played for a good hour or so

◦When he went to go check up on you though, oh was he in for a sight

◦You were clearly pretty tipsy, a red cup clutched in your hands as you laughed a little too much, your hips swaying to the music

◦He looked down, though, and his stomach turned- that purple idiot from Class 1-A was definitely checking you out

◦ Shinsou watched as Mineta’s face twisted into an evil grin as he watched your hips sway as well, his height making it perfect to stare at your ass

◦ Shinsou seemed to watch in slow mo as Mineta’s hand went out to grab your ass, Shinsou already predicting he’d try doing something-

◦Shinsou grabbed his hand, earning a terrified squeak from Mineta-

◦ “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Shinsou’s face was harsh and his voice cold like ice, making Mineta gulp

◦Your cloudy mind heard Shinsou’ voice, turning around, oblivious to the whole encounter

◦”Hey baby!!” You drawled out happily, wrapping your arms around his neck, placing a sloppy kiss on his cheeck

◦He found your drunkenness kinda adorable, his cheecks flushing-but still, he had to admit that you could easily be taken advantage in this state

◦He was inwardly kicking himself for not watching you and making sure you were safe as you cocked your head confusedly

◦ “Wait arent you the grape guy?” You asked, giggling at Mineta’s pale face, “Your hair is really funny-isn’t it Shinsou?”

◦ Mineta’s face fell, beginning to walk away as he realized you were already taken. You continued to innocently laugh at his hair, somehow thinking it was the funniest shit in the world

◦Shinsou rolled his eyes playfully, happy you didn’t realize what could have happened a few moments ago-if you knew what he was trying to do, you would have been furious

◦He grabbed your wrists gently, pulling you in front of him

◦”Your a giggly drunk, arent you doll?” He asked with a smirk

◦You were still laughing, butterflies forming in your stomach- “I’m not drunk...I’m just-dancing!” You argued back, a hiccup escaping out of your lips

◦”Uh-Huh, and my hairs not purple.”

◦You began to protest, something Shinsou knew you would do-you were stubborn and never wanted to listen to him unless you absolutely needed to

◦,”Alright, kitten-“ He sighed, throwing your body over his shoulder, “I think it’s time for us to go home.”

I’m so sorry I literally have no motivation to write for Sero, so I hope these two boys are enough! 💕💕💕