#he will lose fights and will act like he didnt just get his ass handed to him

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

was going through old sketchbooks and got reattached to some wof ocs. like Delgado. especially Delgado

[smoothoper44tor]

Enemies on the papers, lovers in the shadows

(🔖) Pairing: Jenson Button x male reader

Face claim: Andy Samberg

(🔖) Summary: The McLaren boys go from enemies to lovers during the 2010 season. Apparently, they just needed to blow some steam of.

(🔖) Warnings: use of bad words, degradation, internalised homophobia (kinda), free homophobia f1, suggestive, mentions of hate sex.

masterlist | part two…

27 November 2009 . . .

NEWS

Jenson Button on joining fellowship driver Paolo Primo in McLaren for the next 2010 season.

Both drivers had a very intense rivalry this season, having a very close fight for the championship. Primo failed in winning the championship by 32 points. He assured unfair penalisation, which was, according to him once again, Button’s fault, made him lose.

Button and Primo made several displays of hate between each other during press conferences and interviews. Still, Button is “very intrigued in what will this new season bring him”, and alleges he “couldn’t be more happy to be teammates with Paolo [Primo], I love that guy”

More info • you might also like . . .

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ｡･ੈ✩‧₊˚

26 March 2010 . . .

NEWS

Paolo Primo and alleged girlfriend, Joanna Newsom, arriving the Paddock (Melbourne, Australia)

Primo arrived this morning for the first practice along his alleged girlfriend. He hasn’t confirmed being in a relationship, yet they have being seen together in several occasions, being one the Bahrain Grand Prix last week.

He was asked about relationship with teammate Jenson Button after crash in the Bahrain GP, Button was able to keep driving, finishing 7th, but Primo ended DNFing due to damage from the crash. He dismissed the question instantly: “Childs can only act like childs” he said.

Paolo and Jenson were seen having an argument. He was later seen with Lewis Hamilton and Robert Kubica, Renault drivers this season, to not talk to Jenson again for the rest of the morning.

"Get the fuck out, Button" Paolo hissed, barely looking at the blond man. Jenson had sneaked into his drivers room, catching Paolo by surprise while changing into his driving clothes.

"C´mon Pao, don´t be boring" cheekiness brigthed his expression. He kept on trying to get close to the american. Paolo pulled his shirt up, blue eyes glued at him. "I came to check on you" He finally gulped.

"T´thing is I don´t want to fucking see you" Paolo punched the other´s chest with the fireproof in his hand. Jenson could do nothing but back off, his wide smile as a proof he was pleased with the touch. "Seriously, I´m not in the mood" He pronounced each word roughly.

"Stop acting all grumpy, I´m sure we can work this out"

"Work this out! Are ya´ fucking kidding me?" He got closer with each word "I tried to ‘work this out’, and you’ve fucking with me since first day" Jenson was unable to keep his eyes away from him, they were so close. Eyes, lips, eyes, lips, eyes... "Making fun of me, talk shit behind ma´back, fucking my race. My race Jen-" lips. Every word abandoned his mind as Jenson´s hand caressed his curls. His back muscles clenched when the british’s left hand found his waist. The hand curved perfectly against him, shameless teases into his skin. Right when the hand found the curve to his ass Paolo pushed him, not hard enough for them to separate, but rough enough for Jenson to slow down with a desperate breath.

"You kissed me" An amused expression in the curly haired man "Who the fuck kisses in tha’ middle of a fight" Jenson smiled dizzily.

"Things were heating up" He said smugly, the smile on his face growing wider "I didnt figure that girlfriend of yours would mind" That little piece of shit, of course he knew. The team was forcing him into a relationship, good sponsoring they said. Paolo thought nobody would know except his team.

"God, you are an asshole" his hands pushed Jenson against the door of the room hesitant.

"Am I?" The curly haired shallow, ignoring unsuccessfully all the thoughts that run in his head.

"Shut up"

"Man, where were you?" Kubica screamed for his attention as Paolo made his way out of the McLaren motor home. Both Renault drivers looked at him, Robert wearing a cap weirdly and Lewis drinking from his bottle.

"Drivers room, getting ready an´all" he held the racing suit, adjusting the clothing to his waist.

"Having some fun or what?" The older man eyed his neck. Paolo heated up, thinking he had hide the red, now turning purple, spot.

"Uhm, yeah. Having fun" he mumbled. Lewis laughed.

"Hilarious. What a piece you are"

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ｡･ੈ✩‧₊˚

28 August 2010 . . . (Belgium gp)

paoprimo54

❤️ liked by jensonbutton, mclaren and others

Hello Instagram?

comments

user5: he’s so baby girl

jensonbutton: he likes them big

⤷ user5: wow, I wasn’t expecting that

⤷ user2: and he’s talking about en sandwiches right

⤷ user66: be so fcking for right I just knew they banged each other after Australia.

user3: IM GOING INSANE HEs SO BEAUTIFUUUUL 🎀😩

user9: Jensons comments is insane

⤷ user8: those two have the hots for each other

user12: the man you are pao, the man you are 😔

mclaren

❤️ liked by paoprimo54, kimiraikonnen and others

Both of our drivers will renew their contract next year. We’re very proud to count with these young talents, and are be ready to work on the constructors and teams championships!! (tagged: jensonbutton, paoprimo54)

comments

paoprimo54: Looking forward to our relationship together!!

⤷ jensonbutton: Sure you do Pao

user6: IM LOVING THIS MCLAREN ERA 🤭

user23: 💪🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

user9: Lovely team, lovely duo

⤷ user47: destructive duo*

jensonbutton: 💪💪💪

⤷ paoprimo54: shut up nutcase 😘

“God” he lets out a heavy sigh. Both of them naked in the hotel room. All windows were open and a lean blanket covered them dramatically “We should do this more often” Jenson looked beautiful with his dumb characteristic smiled, all flustered.

“What? Screwing in my hotel room?” Paolo laughs, resting his head in his right bicep.

“Yeah, but-” Jenson laughs at his little joke “not what I meant. You and I”

“Are you asking me out honey?” The derision in his tone was more than obvious, but the blond melted with the pet name, every little piece of attention melting his skin lovely.

“I am” The American saw Jenson stand up in his elbows just to see his face better “Do you want to go out with me?” A little smile crawling into his face.

“I don’t know Jense” Paolo knew nothing good could come out of that, they could be seen, filmed, but a little voice in the back of his head whispered prayers for him to accept.

“Italian food” Jense’s smile grew back again because he knew Paolo wouldn’t say no to his favourite food.

“Italian huh?” He bitted his lip annoyed “Shit, fine”

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ｡･ੈ✩‧₊˚

16 November 2010 . . .

skysports

❤️ liked by sebastianvettel, joannanwesom and others

Paolo Primo winner of the Constructors Championship of 2010 with McLaren. He is the first American winner since Mario Andretti in 1978 and first Jew to win a Championship since Jody Scheckter in 1979. After two DNF’s and a rough time getting along with his teammate, Primo scored the most points, being followed very close by Sebastian Vettel Red Bull’s new acquisition.

comments have been restricted

markwebber: Amazing brother💪💪💪

jensonbutton: Very deserved ❤️!

joannanewsom: ❤️❤️❤️

feralonsoofficial: Well done Paolo 💪😘

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ｡･:*˚:✧｡ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ * ｡･ੈ✩‧₊˚

6 June 2024 . . .

paoprimo54

❤️ liked by jensonbutton, pedrodelarosa and others

I’ve heard there’s been a lot of talking about mine and Jense’s relationship, has been for 15 years. I just wanted to clarify that we did in fact hate each other for long eight years, buuuuut we just needed to blow some steam and now we’re very close (that’s our kid in the last one).

comments

user1: definitely not on my 2024 bingo

⤷ user1: not complaining tho

markwebber: Proud of you guys!

user2: PAO N JENSE HUSBANDS CONFIRMED 💕💍👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

sebastianvettel: 💪❤️

lewishamilton: Baby Lou looks beautiful!

user3: this is actually my Roman Empire

joannanewsom: ❤️

user5: my favourite gays

⤷ user8: best enemies to lovers fr fr

user13: And during pride month… The way I love u Paolo

logansargeant: Happy pride month I guess lol💪

⤷ paoloprimo54: hahah ❤️

[pumpkinsy0]

Ok this might seem stupid but hear me out, perhaps we could get some headcanons of papercut in the events of the book but instead of Johnny it was Curly who stabbed the soc and him and Pony had to run away together? It would also be cool to see what the Curtis AND Shepard gangs reactions are

this aint stupid,,,,ur onto something here,,,,

•ok look, not REALLY related but curly woulda loved that white trash w mustangs and madras line, this white on white violence gotta STOP💔💯

•ANYWAYS, i think he’d put up more of a fight, he’d try to get to pony but they were outnumbered so he gets cornered, HOWEVER, he always carries some weapon on him, or maybe he picked up a coke bottle, POINT IS, bob still died lmao

•i dont think curly and pony would stay around that area as long as johnny and pony did, curly would want to leave as soon as he could so nobody could see them, so ponys forced to just get it together in under like 2mins so they could leave, so ponys disassociating badly

•theyd go to tim, curly doesnt like dally and tim IS his older brother, then tim would tell dally, and they still end up at the dirty ass church</3

•now curlys shaken up too, like hes not trying to show it to look tough, but hes never done THAT before, never flat out hurt someone that badly before, but he still doesnt regret it bc it was to defend pony, however considering hes black in the 60s in TULSA, hes so certain a judge will not gaf that it was outta self defense, so actually hes disassociatin too, they both a lil fucked up rn

•back at home, dally didnt tell darry or soda where they were but tim sure as hell did, he gets what darrys goin through cause theyre both older bros worryin over their younger bros, darry doesnt know HOW to react at all to it, he doesnt tell soda nor johnny, or anyone really, when two bit says he’ll go to texas (i think it was,,,) to look for him, darry says not to bother, so they all feel like darry knows where pony is and they dint know wether to be happy or terrified bc why isnt he tellin em or getting him??

•when it comes to the shepard gang, tim did tell some of em whats going on, only his trusted guys tho, theres basically nothing they CAN do to stop word from spreading about it bc the socs who were there already went to the cops, so they all have to lay low for a while, stay in line cause tim quite honestly cant handle anything more rn

•angela’s pretty much losing it too, shes drinking more, way more irritable, if one of the shepards is gone, ALL of em r losing it dawg

•in the church, curlys trying to act like his normal self but u can tell that he’s damn near close to losing it cause this could mean prison or the death penalty, hes so sure hes done for and pony wants to reassure him but holy fuck it aint lookin too good, they do their normal banger but u can feel this somber tension between the two as if this is gonna b their last moments together

•curly is NOT talking about turning himself in at all, he’d rather kill someone else to NOT go actually, on top of that tims telling him to stay hidden, dallys tellin him to stay hidden, so thats how he knows hes GOTTA stay there

•NOW THE FIRE, just like dally, curly dont care that much bout those kids im ngl, but bc ponys running in there, now HE has to help, boooooo👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽

•curly aint like johnny, hes grabbing those kids and pushing them out, whatever injuries they get outta that they gonna have to deal w later, its better than them being dead id think, when the church falls, honestly??? i think my main man curly gettin outta there in time, he lowkey DID push pony out the window cause he was taking too long and then jumped out bit aye, hes livin

•its either that or he risks it and takes the longer way out if like, the wood fell where the window was

•he aint livin without some injuries and scars tho, he did definitely break SOMETHING and got some burns on his hands and wherever else, but hes relatively fine, a part of the reason y is bc he wears a leather jacket, unlike johnny who wears a jean jacket, and jean jackets r more flammable, and as seen w pony, the leather jacket did help him a bit in that fire, he still is banged up tho

[outermaybanks]

do you have like a post where you talk more about the play? like an overview or something? i would have looooved to go see it but i’m not from the US so alas. would love to know more details if you wanna share

No I dont but I don’t mind talking about it I just didnt want to come off as bragging or something:

I was front row and thats the only reason yall didnt get a slime tutorial from me i swear, rudy and the other actors were like a foot away from me. it started with the speech y’know “two star crossed lovers in fair verona where we lay our scene” by the friar/priest guy, and then rudy and the actress for juliet stepped out in the background and my heart stopped just bc its so weird when you only see someone on your tv or phone and suddenly they’re actually on front of you yknow? and rudy played romeo veryyyyy well, very lovesick, very i-write-poetry-but-never-show-anyone.

It was also obvious that he and the actor for Mercutio took inspiration from the leondardo dicaprio romeo & juliet, they had some very homo erotic moments. juliet was very talented as well, when tybolt died she let out a very guttural sob, then quickly did some girl math to not be mad at romeo about it very real of a teenage girl.

both rudy and the actress for juliet were soooo good at playing absolutely lovesick, ready to die for one another lovers. It was in the small details for me, like i mentioned in a post last night, even when they were in the background they stayed in character believably, how they looked at each other, the way romeo looked at juliet, it was mesmorizing to watch. even my bf who was just there to be supportive was taken aback and in awe of rudy and the actress for juliet’s taken.

the glow orb was much more involved than originally thought, I thought maybe it was only for the masquerade scene, nope.

during the marriage scene they kept doing this cute thing where everytime the priest wasnt looking they’d get closer, hold hands, whisper loving things to each other. i promise yall on everything in me: RUDY CAN ACT HIS ASS OFF AND PLAY IN-LOVE VERY CONVINCINGLY AND THATS HOW I KNOW THERE WERE EVIL FORCES AT PLAY ON THE SET OF OBX !!!!

anyway….

what else did i really like… they were really fighting. like obviously choreographed but no stunt doubles they pushed that little blonde man up against the ‘wall’ (the set for the majority of the play was very plain with like nine cubes/boxes some were hollow, that could be moved or separated, it served as walls, as the balcony, a gate etc) and held him there, threw each other around and romeo was like a pacifist trying not to kill the woman he love’s cousin and was taking those punches like a champ, until tybolt killed mercutio

also i audibly whimpered during the big fight scene bc rudy was fucking devastated about losing mercutio and held him close and mercutio got his blood all over him.

i talked a but about a scene where mercutio was giving romeo shit. that mercutio was also so incredibly talented, and definitely took alllll his inspo from the leo dicaprio version. so mercutio is giving romeo shit like “ohhh he’s depressed bc he can’t get laid” and romeo is like “bro does it look like i dont get pussy?” and then he liked grabbed his crotch and basically started acting like teenage boys talking about sex (this was after the marriage and interpretive consummation background scene) and i dont want to say ‘humping’ each other but…. very close to it.

the end part of the play this big platform was lowered and suddenly there was a bunch of dirt on the stage, and yall know how it goes, juliet pretends to kill herself, romeo does kill himself, juliet wakes up and kills herself for realsies, the only real difference in this director’s version of romeo and juliet is that the two families very clearly forgive each other, we see romeo and juliet in heaven with mercutio and tybolt

thats all the big things that stuck with me and if anyone wants to ask about a more specific scene lmk

im gonna be completely honest romeo and juliet is one of my lesser liked shakespeare plays so there were some moments I was appreciating getting to stare at rudy’s face without a screen between us, had he been in macbeth i probably would’ve gotten a passport and flew anywhere to see him in it

[inutaffy]

riverdale recap. didnt live blog this part my bad

kurtz fuckinf died. RIP MY GREASY JUNKIE BABE. he got killed by the gargoyle king

gladys (jugheads mom) left town. one bc she put jellybean in danger with the whole drug trade thing ans two bc FP foudn out about it and hes. Peeved. and the sheriff so. she's disappearing for a bit she says.

black hood, betty's dad faked his death. came back only to be shot by penelope blossom during a game she put on to prove that betty/jughead/archie/veronica were just as dark as the rest of the town. they weren't.

oh yeah penelope blossom is the gargoyle king

hiram lodge got fucjing arrrested. for illegal gambling and the like.

hermione lodge got arrested bc hiram told the police that she tried to kill him. twice

junior prom happened ans betty was attacked by the black hood (this happened obviously before she was killed)

cheryl wasn't allowed to be prom queen bc of some stupid farmie rule (cult behavior) something something the one become many the many one. idk. anyway she was pissed about it. as she should be shout out my egoistical lesbian icon

oh yeah hiram got arrested bc when he "sold" pops chock lit shop veronica, he actually tricked her. he kept the deed and gave her a fake so she was In Fact. putting money back into his pocket. she got pissed about that brought the fbi in to get him caught in the act and staged this whole thing.

hiram also literallt almost killed a teenager in the ring over some stupid shit. grown ass 50 yr old man literallt threw the ref and said "THIS ENDS NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️" like fuck dude calm down hes 17

speaking of archie, hes in his regular self destructive tendencies he tried to fight 2 fights in the same day AFTER losing 6 pounds of weight. crazy shit.

oh yeah the whole prom thing they all dressed up as medieval times and betty had to be crowned prom queen bc she's. the gryphon queen or some shit and in the gargoyle king's gospel it said that the gryphon queen's coronation would bring about the gargoyle king arrival blah blah.

right like i said about the black hood attacking betty at prom? that was bc she received a note saying she needs to go see the king immediately, before the crowning. something blah blah if you say something everyone will die. and then she almost died.

also to escape, hal cooper, the black hood. cut his hand off and threw it on the burning transfer bus (he was supposed to be going to another prison. betty literallt thoight he escaped as soon as she heard because he specfically asked her to help him get transfered to a facility in riverdale.) to make everyone believe he was dead. so he h. so he had. so he had a hook for a hand.

he also killed like 5 other people at prom before trying for betty. all while the juniors were in the gym

after the black hood scare, she went to her mom, who's with the farm whos been using the old "Sisters Of Quiet Mercy" building for their uses. basically they're an ex nun group who did bad mental health services. and also part orphanage. ANYWAY after the black hood scare betty decided to stay with her mom in the cultish farm facility.

[deathandthemaiden23]

An incomplete list of things I appreciate about Shrek 2, written as I was watching it after having consumed an inordinate amount of the devil's lettuce:

The "Sargeant Pompous and Fancy Pants Club Band" scene with the fanfare that turns into Hawaii Five-O I can't properly illustrate to you how much this scene tickles me its perfect the regal buildup with the fanfare the perfectly spirited rendition of the Hawaii Five-O theme by Reggie and then Sargeant Pompous cutting him off with a head smack just ugh amazing peak cinema

The whole movie in summary is just "rip Shrek" because I stg within the first 15 minutes ALONE he gets cockblocked by Donkey, loses the fight to go see his in-laws, gets the piss annoyed out of him by Donkey once again the entire ride over, and THEN he accidentally hits on the queen 10 seconds into their first conversation when he says "its easy to see where Fiona gets her good looks from" like just pour one out for this guy he's dead he's ceased to be bereft of life he rests in peace

Fairy Godmother's first song where she's singing to Fiona about getting the "prince with the sexy tush" just tickles me because she's singing about HER SON she's like dishing with Fiona about boys but the boy is THAT fuckin weiner I just omg

Harold at one point says he's just taken his pills and that they make him drowsy which is funny to me because the SCU (shrek cinematic universe) takes place in a largely medieval setting and yet somehow there's still modern pills widely accessible and they probably didn't call them pills back then anyway I just idk its shit like this that makes me love Shrek

When Harold is talking with Fairy Godmother in the coach and she says "YOU FORCE ME TO DO SOMETHING I REALLY DONT WANT TO DO" in front of the window to Friar's Fat Boy Prince Charming has like... the funniest fucking smug look on his face as he looks at his mom and then back at Harold like I never noticed his face in that shot before and its SO funny I recommend laser focusing on it the next time you watch it lmfao

The fact that there was a point in time where Puss just fuckin hung out at the Poison Apple being a brooding mercenary-for-hire in the backroom of the bar like that's how he was introduced into this series his first interaction with Shrek was trying to kill his ass and I just think that's amazing when juxtaposed with his current personality like does he just take on a new identity with each new life I bet Death was having a good time watching this jackass risk his life trying to kill other people only to come back and hang out in a dark ass room by himself in a seedy bar lmfao

THE FUCKING "SIR JUSTIN" POSTER IN FIONA'S ROOM WHICH I NEVER UNDERSTOOD AS A CHILD BECAUSE I WAS TOO YOUNG TO KNOW OF JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE SO I JUST DIDNT UNDERSTAND IT AT THE TIME AND NOW ITS ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THROWAWAY JOKES I'VE *EVER* SEEN IN A MOVIE HANDS DOWN

I think it's interesting that Shrek kinda just reads Fiona's childhood diary, something that would be considered big enough to warrant an Act 2 betrayal arc but... Nothing really comes of this, if anything at all and I just think that's... huh. Guess they had too much fucking meat on the sandwich that was Shrek 2 to work in that pickle of a situation like yeah Fiona knows that Shrek read her diary but she doesn't seem to hold it against him and I think that's an interesting take on that type of plot thread it just goes to show just how much they seem to trust and love each other

I love the fact that Fairy Godmother apparently regularly indulged in posh frippery like having coffee and monte cristos and things that are "deep-fried and smothered in chocolate" because that inherently implies that there is a kitchen somewhere in the factory and she has people in her employ specifically to bring her shit like that around the clock she has a gourmet kitchen somewhere in that fucking factory also are we to assume that she might be eating like this more frequently lately as a result of Harold ruining her diet I just idk where I'm going with this point is there's so many things like this in this movie that make me want to ask a thousand more questions

Knowing that Fairy Godmother was apparently making the love potion that comes into play later when Shrek walks in on her in the factory is so funny because goddamn she really is trying to pimp her son out lmfao

The chase scene through the factory gives me goosebumps every time I watch it like make fun of the Shrek soundtracks' tendencies to use eclectic modern music all you want but said music is actually reasonably applicable to the plot and fits the movie well and like the cover of Buzzcocks' "Ever Fallen in Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)" in this scene literally fits the plot so well when taking into account the difficulties Shrek and Fiona are having in their marriage and Shrek is literally taking action to save said marriage because like the narrator in the song he doesn't want to lose the other person despite all the difficulties they're having I just ach man these movies just get me every time I watch them

I LOVE how Fiona has her own agency as a female character? She's capable of kicking ass all on her own and taking charge when she needs to; in the third act of this movie she doesn't just wait around for Shrek to come back she actively makes a plan to go out and look for him and then go back home to the swamp so they can both be happy its just so apparent to me that the people that write these movies really care about fleshing her out because she IS the secondary protagonist after Shrek and before you say what about Donkey he's an important character but the story revolves around Shrek and Fiona's relationship more or less and centers on them going through all the stages of love and marriage together and I just really appreciate that Fiona is given time as a character to do things on her own independent from Shrek she's just a kickass female lead okay tons of good female characters in Shrek but she's one of the best

Since I mentioned Donkey I feel it would be remiss not to mention his bond with Shrek? Its developed a lot during the first Shrek but like with Shrek and Fiona's relationship his friendship with Donkey just becomes a lot more natural in 2, like Shrek genuinely likes having Donkey around. He puts up with him annoying the piss out of him during the ride to Far Far Away and lets him come along to begin with instead of leaving him at home, he jokes around with him and teases him a fair amount, and he like even apologizes if he snaps at him I just appreciate Shrek actually working to be there and be good to the people he cares about since he's spent so much time alone and only looking out for himself Dreamworks' ability to make their relationships seem real and developed and organic regardless of the limited runtime is so amazing to me like they did such a good job with Shrek and Fiona obviously but Shrek and Donkey are friends before anything else happens and in a way Shrek's friendship with Donkey is what opens him up enough to see a future with Fiona in the first place

I CANT BELIEVE I NEVER NOTICED AT THE BEGINNING OF THE CLIMAX WHEN FAIRY GODMOTHER LEAVES HER COACH TO "WALK" DOWN THE RED CARPET KYLE IS WEARING A SHIRT THAT SAYS "KYLE" IN RHINESTONES I AM PISSING MYSELF LAUGHING

The fact that modern tech like TVs somehow exists in this universe never fails to tickle me lmfao like it somehow makes Shrek so much more entertaining to me personally knowing something called "Wheel of Torture" canonically exists and is being broadcast to anyone with a TV apparently which begs the question if this tech is easily accessible or not to everyone in the SCU because they don't exact zero in on stuff like this

Given the fact that Gingy wants to watch stuff like Wheel of Torture over the Far Far Away Royal Ball it makes total sense that he'd see the medieval equivalent of Cops and be like "now THIS is good TV" Gingy is a bootlicker confirmed

The fucking OJ Simpson reference is another one of those things that flew right over my head as a kid and now that I'm an adult I know they most likely threw that shit in to amuse parents but still oh my god the audacity of the Shrek crew to even do this bit at all is unparallelled

MODERN GRAFFITI EXISTS IN SHREK APPARENTLY? I HAVE NO THOUGHTFUL COMMENTARY ON THAT I JUST NOTICED IT DURING THE KNIGHTS SCENE AND LOST MY SHIT

ALSO THE SCENE WHERE THEY GRIND PEPPER IN SHREK'S EYES INSTEAD OF MACING HIM I JUST... AGH THE JOKES MAN THEY ALMOST ALWAYS HIT

Oh god man the climax just... The climax. You get chills when Holding Out For a Hero starts and Fairy Godmother's dress turns red and sparkly?? When Fiona keeps dodging Prince Charming's advances during the instrumental break??? PUSS DUKING IT OUT WITH THE KNIGHTS IN THE CASTLE WHILE TELLING SHREK AND DONKEY TO KEEP GOING WITHOUT HIM???? SHREK BEING LIKE HEY YOU FUCK BACK AWAY FROM MY WIFE WHEN HE FINALLY GETS TO THE COURTYARD????? FUCK MAN JUST FUCK

Fucking LOVE freeze-frame credits and Shrek 2 is the best damn example of it imo it just gives you goosebumps when the names pop up during key scenes with the characters AND DONKEY AND PUSS ARE SINGING LIVIN LA VIDA LOCA THE WHOLE TIME????

LOVE the other version of Holding Out For a Hero featured during the first credits, genuinely spine-tingling

I really appreciate how like... People generally tend to like Shrek when they get to know him better? Donkey, Fiona obviously, Puss starts off trying to kill him and then becomes like best friends with him, her parents warm up to him and even the whole of Far Far Away applauds when Shrek kisses Fiona at the end I just awh its so nice this whole series is like a gentle yet hilarious reminder that even outcasts are worthy of love maybe that's why I vibe so hard with Shrek its core message hits very close to home for me and even with Last Wish the whole philosophical discussion of life and treasuring what you have is such a good, good message that ALSO hits home super hard I've gone on long enough Shrek 2 is a masterpiece, easily tied with Last Wish as my favorite of the series

[onetimetwotimesthreetimess]

hiiii you never gonna escape my live reaction

People should be able to fight or disagree with their partners without being scared of losing them to something far worse.

damn thats really unhealthy cause one never should feel like walking on eggshells in their relationship its exhausting bruh

"You literally have a sugar daddy and you're going to make me pay? What a cheap ass, Lightwood."

i know this is setting up for angst but idc sugar baby alec right!! he deserves it

"Alec, people do not use substances to escape this world. They do it so that they can become a part of this world. A world that has not been kind to them and yet, all they want is to feel like they belong."

this. its always seem kinda icky to me when most narratives about addiction is people being too weak to resist and use them to escape reality. this put my feeling on it perfectly.

"You just asked me to sit with you?" Alec says incredulously.

"Yes but this is my side of the bed." Magnus states.

"God, you're so annoying. I'm leaving." Alec huffs and turns to leave the room, but a hand on his arm stops him—-and pulls him back towards the bed.

you are on hospital bed. put the rom-com act away. its no time to be insufferable

Magnus lifts his head to look up at him and nods. "I am now."

alec playing with my hair would solve my problems too but not all of us have that luxury

Of course, his coping mechanisms would need a coping mechanism too.

how can he still joking while getting his diagnosis I-

He remembers the same expression on his mother's face. Her constantly being worried about Asmodeus, waiting for him to come back home.

again Assholedeus can choke on hot coals

Alec strokes his cheeks softly. "I knew you were obsessed with me but I didnt realise that not talking to me for a week makes you more stupid."

why he listing this like an achievement. is he gonna put them in his cv next. "I make magnus bane act stupid by lack of vitamin me"

"Can I kiss you now? I can deal with alcohol withdrawal but not from the withdrawal I'm getting from not kissing you for a week."

alec's confidence will never falter he got support from the man himself, cry about it

Alec gives her a soft smile. He picks up the girl in his arms and sits her down on the chair vacated by him—bends down on the floor and teaches her how to tie her lace.

i know lrhwy!alec not gonna have any kid but he just has dad vibe there i said it

Or maybe Magnus is the third wheel.

no the third wheel are you twos overthinking and not talking about it

"People shouldn't have kids just because they want them. They should have kids because they want them and can provide a good life to them. Anything less than that is selfish." Alec comments.

some ppl want to have kids and have the ability to raise them properly but still fvck up so yeah. parenting is hard how tf my parents put up with me

His boyfriend chuckles at that. "We are not becoming a Cat family. Maybe we can get a dog in the future."

arrow about to snatch the bestest family member award in the future

He almost believes that he deserves punishment for making a living out of war.

this is parallel to canon alec being a shadowhunter. i scream

They find out that Sebastian did this. It's revenge. Alec doesn't know what for.

sebitchtian better catch it. by it i mean he should be dipped in boiling oil

"Holy fuck." Alec yells as soon as his eyes land on Magnus, who is wearing deep burgundy lingerie with a garter belt.

i planted this. idk how but i planted this

"Come on. It's not like we've never done it without it." Magnus tries to convince Alec.

doing it raw cause u hiding something in the closet. lets be real for a second

Magnus takes the butt plug in his mouth in a seductive motion, keeping eye contact with Alec, whose eyes darken a bit. "I just want some messy, rough, caveman sex. Is that too much from you, soldier?

porn roleplay script aside that isnt hygienic stop putting everything in your mouth magnus!

"How long have you been drinking again?"

you can hear the pin drop

"I was losing my mind today so I thought I'll clean the clothes. Get my mind busy." Alec mumbles.

this reminds me the time i was so sad im willing to do chemistry revision. it was so bad for me

Something must be wrong with Magnus because all he can think right now is how glad he is that Alec has only found seven out of the nine places.

damn its a scavenger hunt

"Sometimes it feels like you love alcohol more than you love me."

Sometimes I do.

you should have told me im not the favorite child in the family it would have hurt less

"You literally were about to get your name and identity changed when you thought Clary wasn't into you." Alec accuses.

jace got the lightwood dramatic from you dont even deny it alec

21st October.

i can hear the italicized oh and the dramatic orchestra background music in my mind

He stares at the two of them. "You have helped plenty. You can leave, I wouldn't want to be a bother to you guys."

he's bitch and he's baby and that's on three-dimensional character

Alec deflates at the word and steps back. "I was just trying to help. Chairman was crying."

meanwhile chairman is looking very much unbothered

It's a tiring process, and Alec needs to take a break a couple of times since his body needs rest. Arrow comes to check on him and remind him to rest, and Alec kisses the dog softly.

hes better than me if i got crushed by an entire ceiling you would have to princess carry me out of my bed

Alec is here to recover and not to meddle in Magnus's life. He doesn't have the right to cook for him or take care of him anymore.

why you go from a to z to infinity stone with one sentence it's literally one sentence omfgggg shut ur virgo ass up

"Chairman, why didn't you tell me I was an idiot."

maybe if you paid chairman

It's just something his ex-boyfriend did all the fucking time, and Magnus was so used to it that he hated having to do it himself after the breakup, so he cut his hair.

has magnus heard of sth call hairclips

"Why? You're broken up so he is public property again."

"Shut up."

magnus: he not my bf but he still my bf in the sense that my bf not my bf do you understand????!?

Alec chuckles softly at that. "You're doing a lot more than cooking in my dreams."

alec is just never loosing the inappropriate flirt contest

"Well. I did cook dinner that one time." Magnus comments and then pauses when he remembers that one time.

damn i so looking forward to the breakup

He almost wants to leave the room and run away because being near Alec hurts.

But he can't leave because being near Alec is like oxygen.

you can just make an alec plushie. problem solved

"Alec, I'm moving to London."

when he's Welcome to New York but you're London Boy

damn does malec have any relationship to attempt at distance relationship lmaooooo

Bold of you to assume I’m not waiting for your reactions cause they are funniest thing ever.

I also dislike the addiction arcs where someone is shown weak. I think addiction is more complex than that and those sides are not portrayed that well in media usually. I tried my best in reflecting that.

“Shut your Virgo ass up” MAAM I-

“Has Magnus ever heard of smth called hair clips” WHEN I TELL U I CHOKED.

And again at “does malec have any relationship to attempt at long distance” YOU ARE BRUTAL AND HILARIOUS AS ALWAYS ANH.

I can write a para giving my reaction to your reactions lmao.

[ma-lark-ey]

4.) City of Fallen Angels (8/24/23-11/14/23)

Okay so like. I’ve only read the scene where Kyle, Simon, & Jace all meet and I just. Listen. Hear me out? Throuple. Yk I’ve been on my Jamon shit since book two. Im still on my shit. But the tension hetween Jace and Kyle??? Simon moving in with Kyle so quickly??? They all have two hands.

I can feel in my bones that Kyle will probably Not Be A Friend and I will regret my comments. But I’m sticking to my guns. If all else fails I still got my Jace/Simon agenda to fight for 🫡💪

“Back from your breakfast meeting, I see,” [Jace] said without much welcome in his tone. “I bet you thought you were clever, sneaking off like that.”

“Medium clever,” Simon acknowledged, “Like a cross between George Clooney’s ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ and the Mythbusters, but, ya know, better looking.”

“I’m always so glad I have no idea what you’re vacantly chattering about.” Said Jace. “It fills me with a sense of peace and well-being.”

“Simon sat down at the table. “You ought to eat something.”

“Look who’s talking.”

“Im all out of blood right now. Unless you’re offering.”

THEY. ARE. BOYFRIENDS.

Clary can fuck off I need her boyfriend to kiss the vampire.

KYLE BEING NAMED FUCKING. JORDAN KYLE. NO. THATS NOT REAL. if his last name was like, Avery or Jackson I'd EXCEPT IT but KYLE??? thats not a real last name. absolutely not. Also Maia was so fucking real for trying to kill on sight me fucking too baby girl.

also literally why is Clary a background character n her own damn series right now like no one gives a shit about the warlock baby give me the vamp goss.

ALSO is Jace fr trying to pull away from Clary because of horny disease if my theory proves true i will NEVER stop bullying this man.

"I'm sticking to Simon because its the closest I can get to you" you let this man kiss your neck unironically and also unironically offered again. you are in love with him.

“If love were food, I would have starved on the bones you gave me.” Okay poet Magnus. Get it ig???

OH ALEC ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE OH FUCK ME

So a lot of my commentary didnt save so we’ll bullet point

The Max dup was uncalled for and MEAN.

I want a Stephen Herondale ghost moment. GIVE JACE HIS DAD!!

Isabelle & Jordan’s dynamic is wonderful.

I need Simon to stop being a problem for hhhhh a chapter. Minimum

#GiveJaceABreak2024

WHAT THE FUCK IS LILITH AND WHY IS SHE KILLING CLARY

Thank you.

Collapses into my desk chair after working on the same hundred page stint for a week. IM FINISHING IT TODAY FUCKERS.

Obsessed with Clary “hold on let me use my boyfriend’s catholic guilt to fuck his ass up real fast” Fray

Alec needs to go have makeup sex istg your gayass is more focused on your man than the LITERAL CULTISTS

“he’s way past his sell-by date” FOUL.

Okay so if all a vamp needs to be a daylighter is to drink from a shadowhunter why the hell is simon the only one??? Does it need to be consensual.

OH MAYBE THATS IT. If a vampire drinks from a shadowhunter consensually they get the ability to walk in the day because they’ve experienced an angel’s secondhand grace or some bullshit.

Look. Im still in my Simace bullshit. I want them to makeout.

“There’s not death do us part for those who never die”

^ me at that line fr.

This is my petition to put Jace on mood stabilizers. I think it’d solve a lot of his problems

AYO CUSSWORD!!

Simon & Jace silent talks. They’re BOYFRIENDS.

Isabelle & Simon are cute honestly ngl. Still think he’s in love with Jace, though. Under different circumstance id say he has two hands but the hands in question are siblings so he actually doesnt have two hands.

“I won’t be any more ready to lose you then than u am right now. And thats not at all.” Insane that Clare invented immortal gay people.

“For a bachelor with no children, Luke had an awful lot of kids to look after.” Simon dont even act like this just dawned on you. That man is just A Dad.

Final thought: the dynamic between Sebastian & Jace is the exact same as Kevin & Riko from All For The Game. Like. Girl. Fuck.

Anyways.

Onto Lost Souls I guess !!

Lark Liveblogs Lit episode 4(?): The Mortal Instruments

Here’s what I know going into it;

Magnus & Alec are endgame, Alec walks away from his marriage???? Very dramatically to kiss Magnus. I, originally, thought these two were reversed but my mate corrected me.

It’s (roughly???) inspired by her old Draco Trilogy (which I did track down and download, will read eventually) and shares the name with a Ron/Ginny fic (which I read. Mortal Instrument was a very fitting title)

And that’s literally all I know before hand;

Unlike the Harry Potter post, I’ll add my thoughts whilst reading and not just completely after finishing. I will still do the entire series post-mortum on each book, though.

City of Bones; (3/11/23)

Alec is EASILY my favorite. I figured it’d be Simon or Magnus because my blorbo history favors Simons and Magnuses, but Alec has CAPTURED my heart and when he almost died to Abbadon I literally cried even though I KNEW he survived.

Clary, on the contrary, is only slightly less boring than Isabelle. I think Isabelle is badass because she’s got a whip but both of these women is like. Go girl! Give us NOTHING! Especially weird because Clary is primarily our perspective character??

Jace & Simon’s weird little dynamic is interesting. I’m not. Its whatever. I don’t hate it, I’m not intrigued. I DO think Alec/Jace is a far superior romance to Jace/Clary. But also maybe my opinion will change. The little kiss in the garden WAS very cute. Jace thinks he’s so cool and he’s literally not. He’s literally so cringe. His snarky sass is so fun as well, obsessed with whatevers going on there.

The cup being IN the Tarot cards was SO cool. I’m obsessed with THAT.

How old is Magnus. Can I be condoning Malec. Is it like, a Calypso situation. Emotionally he act around 19-20, we’re going with that. He feels like a shitty frat boy. How did this man name Magnus Chase he’s so cool and Magnus Chase is the most pathetic meow meow I’ve ever seen.

UMMM??? HODGE??? WHAT THE A C T U A L FUCK. HELLO. NO. NO. I REFUSE. THIS IS SO FUCKED UP WHAT. SO THAT WAS A FUCKING LIE???? Hodge.

Pov you’re my actually mildly hyperventilating at the end of chapter 22.

JACE IS VALENTINES SON??? THEY’RE SIBLINGS??? Really living up to stealing that name from Ron/Ginny fic huh 😭😭 oh god. Cassie… cassie clare… bbg….

So. The Johnathon reveal fr had me set the book down and walk away because I was in HYSTERICS. congrats, Simon! New chance with your girl because the other part of your love triangle was her BROTHER. so—

Newly finished City of Bones. There’s so much going on here. I’ve thoroughly exhausted my thoughts already. Uhm.

All I have left to say is I adore Luke. He’s perfect. And Magnus Bane RUSHING to Alec like that??? OKAY. HOMOSEXUAL MUCH??? Yes sir go get your man. I see you.

2.) City of Ashes (02/05/23-8/17/23)

Simon and Clary are a MESS i love them. Theyre IDIOTS.

Luke is still my beloved

The complex ass dynamic of Jace and Valentine,,, EAT. love it.

Im gonna be so fr i have updated this in six months and dont remember 90% of book teo anymore actually but Vampire Simon was a slay

Wait that didnt happen in this book.

OH. OH. THE SEELIE COURT? INSANE. INSANO FUCKING CRAZY THAT WAS WILD.

this book took me forever to read because second installments are always weak af (Son of Neptune is an exception) and i struggle so bad

Dont remember if it was this book or book three but him almost dying and Jace giving him blood was the GAYEST thing I’ve ever seen and they should make out. Like that was so horny and for what.

YES THAT WAS TEO IM CORRECT because two was the boar fight and three was the city where sebastian whatever the fuck killed max

Moving on.

3.) City of Glass (8/19/23-8/23/23)

THEYRE NOT. SIBLINGS. WIN FOR EVERYONE INVOLED.

Magnus & Alec appeared like twice but im obsessed with Magnus every time he appears im flirting with him hey bb howzit going.

Maya is my FAVORITE ever i love a wolf girl. Also love a fear demon.

The Max death was UNNECESSARY and UNCALLED FOR he was a BABY BOY. what did he ever do to deserve this. He died HOLDING JACE’S SOLDIER. devastating. Awful.

The mark of Kane for Simon was real as shit im obsessed with that.

The Angel reviving Jace was literally so funny silly goofy. He went “god. What the fuck. At least give this kid a chance at being normal” and thats so funny.

I want to study Jace like a bug. Hes so babygirl.

(I’ll reblog with updates as I read the last half of the series 🙏 it’s taking longer bc ~ school ~)

However!

My best mate & I watched the first season of the show & the City of Bones movie and;

Okay we only watched the first like. 45 minutes of City of Bones because we wanted to watch something genuinely bad and it was doing too well. Obsessed with the cast on that, though. We didnt even get to Magnus or Alec because every casting on the movie was good until Isabelle and it was so bad I made my mate turn it off because I Could Not.

I’m on episode ten of season one of Shadowhunters and its not good but it is fun so I’m thriving. Like this show is bad but also its a fun time so we’re thriving.

[gogolstoelicker]

Dorm leaders with yuu who is like Vanitas form vanitas no carte?

If it's not too much don't have to do this

Dorm leaders with a Vanitas!MC

You seem to take nothing seriously, carrying a mischievous aura around you. You also act impulsively most of the time but is capable of showing seriousness when the situation calls for it.

However, you also hate being vulnerable around people, especially to those you don't trust.

he can't take it at all

Riddle:

ur flirtings he meant

he sat down next u for 1 sec and so suddenly the lights focused on u two, there's a romantic music playing, rose petals are falling down around u two and there's a glass (of apple juice) in ur hand as u wink at him

he does not know how u did it and he is very much not interested in how that happened

would collar u

literally u can breathe and he'll collar u for it

ace 2.0 ig💀💀💀

well at least ace got a buddy now to share the pain of being collared🤗🤗‼️‼️

is very sick and tired of your presence but somehow he just can't completely block u off his life

its like having another chenya in his life but more annoying and is completed with the package of being flirty

or its like that one friend that's so annoying but then they dont come to school for one day and so suddenly you miss them

yelled at u once bc he caught u on top of heartslabyul's rooftop💀

scolded u even more once trey and cater got u down

likes that you're a neat person (even tho he thinks it's shocking for someone like u to have such a trait💀)

and is absolutely flabbergasted when he learned you're a doctor back in ur world

Leona:

"I'm just a doctor who cures vampires tho🤗😘" "BUT YOU'RE STILL A DOCTOR😱⁉️‼️"

on his way to fistfight u

almost lose tho💀embarrassing

he won't admit it but it lowkey hurt his pride when u almost win against him

what are u doing carrying around a blade in school anyway🤨⁉️

ya wanna get into detention or smth⁉️(if it exists in nrc idk)

^he's very much still not satisfied that u almost win thats why he evn brings it up

actually got a scrath on u during ur fight

which you're not really worried abt since you heal faster than a normal human anyway🤷‍♀

leona when he learns of it🤨🤬⁉️

if u can heal then you should heal him too

he got another scar on his cheek bc of ur dumbass blade🤬

Azul:

you're a doctor. u can do it.

if u say u only cure vampires, leona will show u his fangs (sneakily ofc, he dont wanna hurt his pride more)

just put a bandage on it its ok💀

one time he was trying to take a nap

and while laying down, he saw ur ass

i meant that literally💀

bc you're right on top of the building

its ok u didnt flash him or anything, u wearing those nrc pants anyway

leona is confused btw😭

bcs like why the hell are u up there in the first place and why he gotta catch u⁉️⁉️

shaking, sobbing, crying, clenching his jaw, clutching his contract

he's sick and tired of ur flirtings too💔

Kalim:

pls stop for the love of the great seven he just wants some peace💔

he can tolerate u tho ayeee‼️🙏

all that complaining for nothing💀

he likes playing board games with u

but he absolutely hates losing💀

and u being u, u just create some plans in the middle of playing

basically by impulse

so u won like 90 of the times based on that😭😭😭

azul have his head in his hands

he disappeared from ur sight for a week

only to come and challenge u again

he have studied the way u think, he WILL win this time

so u might wanna lose purposely if u dont want azul on ur tail😅😰

ok but one time u skipped class

and azul is having flight class

and he finally flew up until the rooftop‼️‼️omg⁉️⁉️

and you're right there💀

"hey azul^^!!"

azul shrieking and immediately falling down:

good thing u caught him in time

def lose his cool and started scolding u abt being on top of a ROOFTOP😰😰

which made u got caught by the teacher💀woops ig

u are VERY much intrigued and entertained being with kalim

like his curiosity + liveliness just makes u go🤩‼️‼️too

2nd jamil but less stressed (this u btw)

^only bc u genuinely had fun being with kalim

except for when he randomly disappeared bc of a random whim💀u def did not have fun searching for him around school

with the threat of the actual jamil behinf u with his cooking pan

one time u were hanging out with kalim and u were just so tired of trying to chase after him that u brought those leash for kids and used it on him

how'd u get the leash u may ask? ask sam. he said he have everything in his store🤷‍♀

while the leash does help, it lowkey makes ur arm hurt from having to tug kalim back near u before he got lost/ u lost him💀

the other students were just standing behind yall like😁😟

u go back and forth from trusting and trusting kalim if it makes sense🤔

like you know his intention is 100% pure but there's still that small doubt in u

Vil:

he is absolutely curious about ur job

like u heal vampires⁉️he gotta know about this

tried to climb rooftops/trees with u

jamil pulled him AND you off

just so kalim won't copy u💀

"im a doctor^^!" "you?🤨"

Idia:

^basically both ur first meeting with each other

u do not look like a doctor at all, half offense

and a doctor who specializes in healing vampires too🤔⁉️

and then it turns into u flirting with him

im sure vil is immune to flirtings now bc like🤔mans is famous and looks like a full course meal so like who don't wanna flirt with that man😍

that and bc rook always compliments him a minimum 5 times a day💀

so he just brush u off honestly

but would keep u around if you're going to compliment him too🤔since its lowkey a confident boost

absolutely scolds u for being on top of high places

esp if you're on top of a roof like GET DOWN🤬🤬U AINT A BIRD

he likes that you're a neat person too‼️

like damn thats surprising from u but he absolutely encourages it

he doesn't even need to clean ur appearance up since u usually take care of it urself

absolutely became those type of moms to epel💀

"why don't u be more like them epel?" he said as he point at u

"appearance wise ofc, don't copy their personality"

💀its ok bro💀at least u got one compliment

Malleus:

oh god its an extrovert -idia

feels like crying whenever u approach him

its like when you're trying to finish ur homework in class bc u forgot to do it yesterday and the tc is collecting it

thats how he felt when u approach him

i mean u leave him alone sometimes🤔sometimes💀

became great gaming buddies after

almost blast ur ass whenever u win against him

but then again its fun having someone ALMOST as good as u🤗🤗

until they win instead of u that is💀

^basically his thoughts whenever u win

he doesn't really care that you're a doctor

anything is possible in this world‼️esp in this weird ass world he lives in‼️

how he found out tho? he saw the book u always carry around

at first he does care much until he saw how pretty the cover looks

hesitated a bit but he opened the book

when he opened it, it was empty so he was like🤔❔

so he FINALLY asked u about it

when u tell him he was like :0

"this book is what u use to cure vampires🤔❔damn did u whack them with knowledge or smth❔❔"

and he only ask thag bc u purposely leave some parts out to be mysterious💀dawg istg💀

saw u on top of the roof during one of his walks near ur dorm and thought u got stuck there or smth

u saw his horns and went "damn weird shit again😂🤣"

im sorry idk why i used that emoji

anyways he asked if u need help getting down from there

and u just go ❌❌ and that u just like high places

from then on, u guys usually hang around roof

he's intrigued about u

a weird human who heals faster than normal humans🤔and is apparently a doctor who specializes in healing vampires

i think there are vampires and doctors like u in twisted wonderland🤔i mean what is not impossible there

so while malleus have absolutely heard about it, he does not know much abt thay field

so do expect some questions here and there

sometimes hes worried abt u🤔

bc like aren't humans supposed to have their daily sleep everyday to survive or smth?? why aren't u sleeping???

and then he learns that u can't really sleep around the people u don't really trust (the ghosts💀)(maybe grim maybe not grim)(mickey mouse in ur mirror HELP)

tried to get u to sleep in his dorm instead

like would legit let u sleep in some spare bedroom just for ur health

can't have his first friend outside of his three retainers fall sick amirite😈💪

[poppy-metal]

Omg for the eremin x reader au, so Eren and Armin got together way before the reader joined the equation, so she’s hella insecure and shy around them even though they love her you know? Which leads to her distancing herself from them because they don’t need her anyway, right? Just imagine the soft and hot heated make up session they had once the boys find out that their princess feels like she’s not that important to them.

please. gonna make it a part two this 

Cw: eren is mean at the beginning but he makes up for it <3 smut, the usual.

you becoming armins girlfriend but it leaving an empty feeling in your chest because you like eren too, knows how he looks at you and wishes he would just act on it. he’s there when armin fucks you, when armin makes you cream all over his cock, and sometimes he’ll join in, but he rarely touches you, the closest he’s gotten is holding you against his chest and spreading your legs for armin to fuck into you. you’d been turned on but also jealous of the way eren had leaned over the lock armin in a kiss, their tongues tangling, wishing you could kiss him.

It comes to a breaking point when eren displays his possessiveness again, hating how much armin is falling in love with you and how much he wants you too. He uses your desire to please him against you, makes you sit on a chair and watch as he fucks armin. They look so hot together, but it makes you feel a little squirmy on the inside, not being able to participate. And its made even worse when eren turns armins jaw so he’s looking at you, tells him “look at your little girlfriend watching you get your ass pounded, baby. tell her how good your daddies cock feels”

Armin, lost in the pleasure, of course doesn’t know any better. Looks at you with big blue puppy eyes as eren fucks his tight little hole and moans, “d-daddies cock feels so good inside me” 

“Bet she wishes she could feel it” eren grunts. “Your girlfriends a little slut who wants your boyfriends cock, sweetheart, just look at her drooling over it. You wanna be armin, baby?” 

You squeeze your thighs shut and dont answer. But eren knows, “Yeah, you do. Wanna feel what he feels every night when i slide my fat cock into his little boypussy. Desperate slut, wanna remind me what a real cunt feels like? hm?” 

Armin whimpers under him, curling his legs around eren and dragging him down for a kiss. Eren keeps eye contact with you when he pushes his tongue into armins mouth, fucks him through his orgasm and coos in his ear, “that’s it baby, come for daddy, be my good little girlfriend and show me yours is the only wet hole i need” 

Armin doesn’t know what eren has done, doesn’t know he’s pushed you away with just that line. Thinks this was all just kinkplay, and he’s so sweet. Making grabby hands for you and offering to get you off, tugging you towards his face, but you pull away. 

When you leave that night, flicking a glance at the bed where eren cradles armin to his chest, watching you go with his jaw clenched, you send a message to armins phone, before blocking them both on all forms of media. 

‘I can’t do this anymore. I’m sorry’ 

You don’t know about the explosive fight that occurs between armin and eren the next day. Armin has never been more angry, and it makes eren backpedal, try to hold him but armin just slaps his hands away. Tells eren he loves you and he knows eren likes you too so why is he so mean? 

Eren can do nothing but clench his teeth together and stare at the ground as he admits he doesn’t want to lose armin, and doesn’t want to need anyone else but him. Armin reminds him he’s okay with armin needing you, so armins okay with eren needing you too. He wants eren to want you, has timdily encouraged eren touching you or having sex with you a couple of times, but never psuhed it, though he notices erens lingering stares on you. 

Eren feels horrible, for pushing you away, for making you leave armin, for making you leave him. He just wanted armin to be happy, he didnt expect to want to make you happy too, or to want to open his arms to you. He knows he has to make it right, not just for armin but for him too. 

-----

When you come out of your workplace, you don’t expect to see eren there, nor do you really want to. He’s leaning casually against the back of his car, smoking a cigarette, but he puts it out when he sees you, crushing it under one of his combat boots. He looks sheepish. 

“Hey-” 

You don’t give him the time of day though, breezing by him. You don’t have a car so you planned on walking to the bus station. Usually armin came to pick you up, but considering you’d basically ended things with him, you hadn't expected any rides anymore.

“Hey” Eren says again, and this time he’s right behind you, hand grabbing your arm to stop you. He turns you to him. “We need to talk” 

You wish he wasn’t so pretty. You let yourself look at him, his stubble, his  jade green eyes, the boyish way his hair falls into his eyes. But you shake your head.  “No, we dont. You made that clear” 

You pull away from him and start walking again. “Armin misses you” He calls out, but you don’t stop. 

“I miss you.” 

Okay, you stop at that. Don’t turn around though. You hear his footsteps approach, feel his warmth at your back as he stops, too close. “I miss you” He says again. “Come with me?” 

You turn to look at him again, “Why should i? You miss me? You don’t even like me, jaeger. If you hated me being with your boyfriend so much why did you even ask me too?” 

He bites his lip, shifts on his feet and you can tell his uncomfortable. You’d gathered awhile ago that he wasn’t good with emotions. Tough shit. If he wanted you to get in his car, he’d need to explain some things.

He puffs out his cheeks and palms the back of his neck, and to your surprise, there is a rosy blush that starts to bloom on his cheeks. You don’t think you’ve ever seen eren blush. “I don’t like sharing what’s mine. And armin is mine” He says that with finality. 

You nod your head, starting to turn again. “Right-”

He catches you again. “But so are you” His gaze traps you.”I let you be armins because i thought i wouldn’t care, he still belongs to me, and i belong to him and you...weren’t supposed to belong to anyone. I didn’t want you too” 

You naw at your bottom lip, dipping your head, wondering where he’s going with this.

“But you do” He breathes out, making you look up again. His eyes are sharp, serious. “You belong to armin, you’re his girlfriend and he’s not letting you go, if i hadn’t come today he’d be here on his hands and knees begging for you to come back. and...what’s his is mine so..”

“So..?” You prod, breathless. 

“So you’re mine” He concludes. “Ours. I really wanna fuck you” 

The last part is said so casually you jerk, but eren keeps you steady. Pulls you in. Leans down and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “Let me bring you back with me” his lips brush against yours. “So i can finally fuck my girlfriend” 

You do in fact let him bring you back. 

---

It’s surreal being between armin and eren, having them both touch you. You’re used to armins touch, but erens is new. You’re all shaky and acting like a skittish virgin when eren leans back against the headboard, lazily stroking his cock as armin fingers you open for him. 

His soft lips at your ear, “You take my cock so nice, baby. But daddy’s big. He’s gonna stretch you so good”

“Keep talking about my big dick and im gonna nut before i even get to fuck her” Eren grunts, eyes glued to wear armins slender fingers are sliding in and out of your slick cunt. 

Armin just giggles “But s’true, daddy. You’re gonna split her wide open. She’s tight too” He croons, making you whimper when he curls his fingers just right. “Had her pretty pussy all to myself for so long and she still squeezes my cock, You’ll like it” 

Eren eyes are all heat, eating you up. “Oh, i know i will. Daddy’s been wanting to fuck that cunt for ages” 

“S’that so?” Armin sounds a little condescending, having not been apart of their fight, you can’t tell he’s being kinda petty when he says. “Gonna have to show my girlfriend how much you appreciate her then, if you want her to be your girl you’ll have to make her cum lots, kay? Otherwise im keeping her for myself and you can sit there and watch like you always do while i show her how a good boyfriend fucks their girlfriends pussy”

He dips his lips to kiss your jaw, keeping eye contact with eren when he does. “If daddy doesn’t make you cum stupid, i’ll dump him”

Your cunt squeezes around his fingers at the same time eren growls and reaches out, practically plucking you from armins arms and placing you above him. 

You brace your hands on his board chest as the tip of his thick cock teases your hole, “w-wait” 

“Mm, fuck that” He moans, and pops the head in, eyes fluttering shut and rolling into the back of his skull when your the heat of your fluttering cunt envelops him, silky and smooth and wet, he guides you down the thick length of him. His head thunks against the headboard. “Jesus, fuck”

“E-eren” you whine, poor pussy squeezing around him helplessly as its stretched wide and filled to the brim with him. 

He bounces you once, making you choke on a whimper. “That’s not what we call me” 

Your eyes fill with overwhelmed tears, but you feel armins lips touch your spine as he kisses your back, encouraging you. “Go on, baby”

You wrap your arms around erens neck. “D-daddy” you say, hesitantly, barely breathing the word. 

But eren groans so loud, and eats your lips up in a kiss, rocking you back and forth on his cock, grinding you on it. “Yeah, baby” he pants into your open mouth. “Daddy’s got you. Gonna fuck my sweet little girlfriend tight pussy like she deserves” 

“About fucking time you did” you think you hear armin mutter, but you’re already to fucked out to care. 

[d0llpie]

HOOOOLY HECK HI YOUR REQUESTS ARE OPEN YES uh okay s o. if I remember correctly I saw a work by you about chubby! reader which is what I've been looking for!!! I was wondering if you could do 46, 42, 39, and 41-based hc's for seijoh 4 by any chance? or Matsukawa (i haven't seen any x chubby!reader works for matsuwukawa and it drives me insa n e) and/or any of the seijoh 4 you prefer to write for most? thank you so much!!!!! <3

Seijoh Four, chubby reader scenarios

Oikawa x reader, Iwaizumi x reader, Matsukawa x reader, Hanamaki x reader

content warnings: suggestive nsfw for iwaizumi, food mentions + feeling guilty, very very slight assault, swearing

Prompt: “You don’t think i can pick you up?” “I don’t think i could love you any more than i already do” “I hate seeing you cry” “Don’t fucking touch them”

a/n: Hii love ! Thank you for the request ! i did one prompt for each boy so they have very different scenarios, hope you enjoy <333

wc: 2.7k

Oikawa “I don’t think i could love you anymore than i already do”

- Dating Oikawa required you to be pretty secure and confident

- He was the great king, known for his looks and admired by many fans, many of who you thought were prettier than you

- You never brought this up with him, he was always so strong, a confident leader, it’s why you loved him

- You also knew he overworked himself and that you and Iwaizumi were the only ones able to make him take a break

- You didnt need to stress him over silly things like your inferiority

- He loved you and you never doubted that, still, you couldn’t help but grow quiet as you were pushed away from the team by a swarm of pretty, thin, perfect fangirls who came to congratulate your boyfriend

- “Oi Shittykawa we have to pack up” Iwa noticed you seemingly growing smaller, fiddling with your hands as you stared at the girls surrounding him

- “Iwa-chan you’re so impatient, where’s y/n?” you looked up and tapped his shoulder from behind him, earning many glares from his fangirls

- “Ah there she is!” he cradled your face and gave you a peck on the lips before taking your hand in his, his fangirls scoffed but if he noticed he didn’t react

- You on the other hand just wanted to go home, usually you were good enough at fighting off these thoughts but today you just couldn’t shake them

- “Tooru, can we go?” you tugged on his sleeve and he turned to you before wincing slightly “Tooru where are your knee pads!” you scolded him

- “Ahaha sorry girls, i have to go know, thank you for your support, i appreciate it very much!” the group whined and shot you glares, blaming you for his early leave

- “Iwa, his knee is busted can you help” you slipped his arm around your shoulder and waiting for Iwa to take the other side

- “y/n-chan please, i don’t need help” you glared at him and he shut up, Iwa took his other side and you started to walk

- You were so caught up in your thoughts of insecurity and worry for Oikawa that you didn’t hear him ask you a question

- “y/n-channn why are you ignoring me, i’m sorry, i swear i’ll rest all day tomorrow” you looked over to him “i’m sorry baby what did you say?” he frowned before making you stop walking

- “i asked what was wrong, you’re really quiet” you smiled up at him “oh it’s nothing baby, how is your knee?” he huffed out in frustration, he hated when you did this, knowing you hated when he did it too

- “y/n. don’t do that, talk to me” you sighed “it’s dumb” you fiddled with the ends of your hoodie, pulling it out to make it appear looser

- “If you’re insecure right now i’m gonna kick ur ass with my broken knee :(“ you giggled at him lightly before smacking him “i know i told you it was dumb..”

- He frowned again “baby, you always make me talk about what’s really going on, i need you to do the same so i can help you..” he was right.. “It’s just, i don’t know, your fangirls today were staring at me a lot and they’re all so skinny and pretty and i just-it went to my head”

- He pouted before cupping both your cheeks “i don’t think i could ever love you more than i already do.. You have no idea how often i think i’m not enough for you baby, but you’re so much more than enough for me j couldn’t possibly be with anyone else, no one could treat me the way you do, you’re perfect in my eyes”

- A stray tear fell down onto his thumb as he swiped it away “Kawa of course you’re enough! You’re so talented and perfect, you always communicate with me and put effort into everything you do i’m so proud of you, please don’t doubt yourself!” he laughed at your scolding “how can you be so blind”

- You smiled at him as he pressed his lips against yours, pulling you against his body as he deepened the kiss “oi shitheads! hurry up!” You broke apart to see Iwaizumi ahead of you both waiting impatiently

- You laughed before taking his hand and continuing to walk, squeezing his hand lightly

Iwaizumi “i hate seeing you cry”

- You felt so guilty, you had just eaten what you thought was way too much cake and were now crying in front of the mirror

- You couldnt seem to find anything about yourself attractive, everytime you saw your reflection your eyes zeroed in on your flaws

- You grabbed at your stomach, your sides, everywhere you could while looking into the mirror with red puffy eyes

- Iwaizumis footsteps could be heard approaching your room, you quickly turned around and threw on one of his hoodies, trying to find some pants

- He opened the door to see you in his hoodie and some panties and immediately smirked “hi baby, what’re trying to do?” you shot up and slowly turned to face him, tugging the hoodie down as far as you could

- His smile dropped when he saw your tear stained cheeks and red eyes “y/n? what happened baby cmere” he pulled you into his chest, rubbing up and down your back before bringing you to the bed to sit on him

- You tried to speak but your eyes welled up with tears again “Haji, i need to get some pants..” you whispered, afraid your voice would crack if you spoke any louder and he felt his heart sink

- “Hey hey, tell me what happened” he smoothed your hair down before kissing your forehead, resting his hands on your hips

- he squeezed your hips reassuringly, a habit of his, but you tensed up. He put two and two together and sighed “i hate seeing you cry”

- “i just- don’t you want me to lose weight?” you looked up at him, wiping your tears on the ends of his hoodie while he gripped your hips harder

- “what the fuck are you talking about” he grunted before moving his hands to your ass “i love your body, i love all of you and i intend to spend the rest of my life reminding you how much i love you.” you smiled tearily at him and he kissed you firmly

- he began smoothing his hands over your ass and you chuckled at him “what’re you doing Haji?” “oh c’mon, you look so beautiful in my hoodie what do you expect, you’re always so beautiful..” he kissed you again, rougher this time before leaning back to throw his shirt off

- “I’m going to prove to you just how attractive i find you okay?” you nodded, he gripped the ends of his hoodie, trying to pull it off you but you held it down “wait-“ you looked into your lap, he sighed softly lifting your chin with his thumb and forefinger “if you don’t want to that’s okay baby, but if you don’t want me to see you because you’re insecure i’m going to have to beat you up for thinking badly about the love of my life.”

- You chuckled before kissing him again, letting him take off the hoodie “i love you haji..” “i love you too baby”

Matsukawa “don’t fucking touch them”

- You were out at a bar with Issei and Hanamaki, it had been a while since you’d hung out with your boyfriends best friend and you were all free after work and decided to grab drinks

- Since you’d been there, Issei had had a strong grip around your waist, making you sit on top of him and gripping your thighs every chance he got

- He only got like this when he was jealous but you don’t know why he’s been acting this way in front of Hanamaki

- You were talking to Hanamaki about an angry customer at work when Isseis hold around your middle tightened “baby i’m going to the bathroom you’re trying to squeeze the alcohol out of me” you chuckled getting off his lap and giving him a kiss on the cheek

- “be safe” you nodded before heading to the bathroom, wondering why he was acting so strange, you couldn’t tell but someone across the bar had been eyeing you up since you came in

- You were walking back out when someone stopped you in the hallway “hi pretty/handsome” the man reeked of strong liquor and you tried to push past them but he caged you against the wall

- “it’s rude to ignore people, didnt nobody ever teach you any manners?” he started to slur, dropping his hand down to your body “Isse-“ you were cut off by his other hand covering your mouth

- You shoved him off of you, he looked angry, he was about to storm back towards you when a fist connected with his face, knocking him back into the wall behind him “don’t fucking touch them.”

- Issei spat at the man before grabbing you and pushing your head into his chest “i wasn’t, i don’t wanna touch a fatass like them anyway” this time it was hanamaki to punch him, knocking him to the ground

- He shook his fist “ah fuck, y/n, you okay?” you nodded, smiling at your friend before looking up at Matsukawa who was looking down at you concerned

- “i’m okay baby, really, thank you” he hummed “i’m never letting you out of my sight again, i knew he was looking at you...you know you’re perfect right? don’t listen to him.” you nodded again, burying your face into his chest

- “i know, let’s just go home mkay? you both need to get some ice on your hands” Issei smiled, kissing the top of your head before taking his jacket off and putting it on you

- After you’d iced hanamakis hand and said your goodbyes you were on the couch with Matsukawa “Issei what’s up baby?” he was scowling at the wall so you sat down beside him

- “i just don’t understand how he had the nerve, i mean what a fucking ass.” you hummed, tracing your fingers over the tattoo on his arm, knowing it calmed him down

- He pulled you into his lap so you were straddling him “you’re okay though right?” you pushed your thing in between his brows to make him stop frowning, “yes baby i’m fine! please stop stressing” you kissed his forehead and he sighed, burying his face in your chest

- “i love you, and your body” he squeezed you tighter into his embrace, mumbling into your chest and you stroked his hair “i love you too Issei, honestly you’re more worked up about this than me, let’s go to bed okay?” he hummed, standing up with your legs wrapped around his waist before carrying your to bed

- He collapsed onto the mattress, on top of you, cuddling back into your chest with your legs tangled as you fell asleep in each others arms.

Hanamaki “you don’t think i can lift you?”

- Hanamaki was on his way home from work, he had texted you many times but you didn’t answer, you were fast asleep on the couch with one of your favourite shows playing in the background

- He tried to call you to see if you wanted him to bring anything home but you still didn’t answer, he was slightly worried so he tried to get home faster

- When he entered the house he called out “y/n? i’m home” he moved further into the house, seeing you fast asleep in the couch and he smiled

- He brushed the hair out of your face before flicking your forehead “dumbass you shouldn’t fall asleep on the couch” you stirred in your sleep but didn’t fully wake up

- He lifted you up, carrying you to the bedroom before putting you under the covers. He went to take a shower hoping you’d wake up by the time he got out

- You woke up in your bed confused, you could’ve sworn you were on the couch, you figured you’d woken up and came to the bed to sleep

- The sound of the shower turning off alerted you to Hanamakis presence and you jumped out of bed “maki? hi love!” you kissed his cheek as he finished drying off his hair “hi, how was ur nap?” you smiled “good, didnt mean to sleep for so long, i haven’t made anything to eat”

- “it’s okay, your food sucks anyway” you stuck out your tongue as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, moving back into the bedroom “you look tired, c’mon i’ll carry you back to the couch while i check the fridge”

- you looked over at him confused before scoffing “yeah right” he looked over at you “what?” you raised your brow at him, gesturing your hands down your body before laughing softly

- He was quite offended to be honest “you don’t think i can lift you?” you looked over at him as if it was obvious before trying to exit the room.

- He ran over and pulled you into a hug from behind “excuse me, who do you think carries your sleepy ass from the couch to bed everytime you fall asleep watching your stupid shows?” you turned around in his hold “i walk?” he scoffed, you were serious?

- without warning he hoisted you up in his hold, smirking proudly at your flustered reaction “what were you saying about my big beefy muscles?” you rolled your eyes, tapping him to let you down, instead he began walked to the kitchen

- “maki put me down!” you tried to get out of his hold which earned you a slap on the ass “shhh, gosh i can’t even be a nice boyfriend!” he whined before putting you down on the couch

- “you’re welcome your highness” he bowed and you giggled “okay okay you can lift me” “hell yeah i can babe, these guns aren’t for show, plus, you’re a lot lighter than you think you are”

- you blushed at his words and he leaned in to kiss you sweetly “alright i’m checking the fridge, you can watch your show again but when i come back we’re watching something else okay?” you nodded before smiling, pulling Makis hoodie up to your nose and inhaling deeply

- You both settled into the couch and ate leftovers for dinner, talking about your days. After you finished you cleaned up before making your way back to the couch to settle in between Hanamakis legs

- You felt your eyelids growing heavy and you snuggled further into his chest before falling asleep. Maki felt your breathing slow and even out, he looked down and smiled at your sleeping face

- “i guess you’re making me do this again?” he sighed before pressing a kiss to your forehead, turning off the tv and slipping an arm under your legs and shoulders

- Once he carried you to bed for the second time that day he slipped under the covers with you, pulling you back into his chest and sighing “goodnight babe”

[bcdwhcre]

Could you Maybe write a headcanon about Levi and erwin taking in the reader after her parents died where she is living with all the scouts/cadet corps and just Like them being her two fake overprotective dads? (You Can add a Lil erenxreader if u want)

If you dont wanna write this thats totally fine, ily <3

“Father Figure,” Erwin x Levi Headcanon

I actually really like this ideaaaa, I can imagine Levi and Erwin being over protective dads.

Summary: headcanon of Erwin and Levi as overprotective dads after they take baby you in after your parents die.

Warnings: noneee, just fluffy dads

.

.

.

Levi:

When Levi found you in the streets, skinny, on the brink of death and crying after witnessing your parents die from starvation, it had gave him horrible flashbacks from when he was in that same position.

He didn’t hesitate to take you in and raise you as his own, you even got comfortable enough to call him dad but they were times when you would switch between dad and Levi which he didn’t mind.

Once you became of age, you had tried to convince Levi to let you join the scouts but he continuously said no which made you bicker with him.

You definitely got your stubbornness from him 100%. The small arguments between you two were entertaining like two children fighting over the last slice of pizza until he would get irritated and made you clean.

When the new set of cadets came in, it wasn’t long that you became close friends with Eren, Armin and the rest of them since you were around their age but Levi had always tried his best to keep you separated from the cadets, it only made your dream to become a scout increase.

“When are you going to let me join the scouts, dad?” You brought the topic up once again, he was sure this was the millionth time this month you had brought it up but he was obviously being dramatic

“I’m not letting you join, Y/N. That will always be my final answer.” The annoyance in his tone was obvious and he had stared over at you, making you let out a groan.

“Why are you so afraid of me joining? I learned from the best and you’re keeping me trapped in here like a dog!” You certainly pushed his buttons even to the point where he would ask himself why he picked you up and took you in but of course he never regretted that decision, he loved you like his own.

“I’m not letting you go out there and risk your life under my watch, Y/N.”

“As if you don’t leave me here to risk your life and leave me wondering if I’ll become an orphan again.”

Levi grew quiet, he knew you were right but he never really went deep into thought about it and he couldn’t help but feel guilty once he saw it from your point of view.

“I doubt I’ll be dying anytime soon, too good at my job.” He said with a snarky attitude, his eyes moving back down to the papers in front of him.

“Doesn’t matter, you shouldn’t be hypocrite. I want to join the scouts.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“I said no.” Levi shot you a hard glare, making you close your mouth and breathe in through your nose.

“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, get out of here and go do your chores.” He simply said, using his hand to gesture you off and that had made you upset, mumbling words he couldn’t make out while you stepped towards the office door.

“Hey,” He spoke up again, making you turn around and you had gotten scared that he heard your mumbles and was probably going to add more chores to your list.

“I love you, alright? I’ll think about it.” Levi had a huge soft spot for you, his heart weighed heavily to even think about his own child joining the scouts. He wanted you to be somewhat normal and live a normal life.

“Really? You’re serious?”

“I might be but I can’t promise that I would agree to it, Y/N.” He said in a grumpy tone, a groan leaving his lips when you ran over to hug onto him.

“Thank you, dad.”

You certainly kept Levi on his toes and always gave him headaches to the point where he would miss the times you were young, adorable, didnt argue back, cuddling into him as you slept instead being a pain in the ass teenager but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

.

.

Erwin:

Erwin had somehow ended up at the scene. After wall Maria had fallen, they went through to try and find any survivors and that’s when his laid upon you. You were in your crib, quiet and completely unharmed.

Both of your parents were nowhere in sight and he had feared that they’ve been eaten by the Titans. He didn’t want to take you in, he had tried to fight the urge to have his emotions connected to his job but once he lifted you up in his arms, your big eyes instantly melted his heart.

After that, you grew up under his roof and under his supervision. It had taken him years for him to be comfortable enough to tell you that he wasn’t your real father and that your real parents had died, you were around 16 when he first sat you down and told you.

But that didn’t change the love you had for your father, you were very close with him and he made sure to be the best he could be, better than his dad at least.

Since you had lived with Erwin, you were always around the scouts and the cadets, you even had a small crush on Jean and once your father found out, he definitely started playing the overbearing dad to the point where he would watch you closely and even told the scouts to not entertain you.

That really didn’t stop you nor Jean from being friends and even flirting here and there but Jean would get scared every time Erwin would give you that deadly look.

After that, he tried to keep you away from the cadets/scouts and gave you more chores and stuff to do like go into town to shop, to do things where it would be far from the cadets and he would even force you to eat in his office with him instead with the others, it had gotten on your nerves but you were smart enough to not talk back and defy him in anyway, Erwin can definitely be harsh with punishments and treat you like a cadet.

But Erwin also was too soft when it came to you, he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you or make you hate him because you grew up to be a well grounded person, you grew up around the sweetest and smartest guy from the scouts and you learned hell of a lot from him.

“I seen you with Jean today.” Erwin spoke as he ate his food and you tried to avoid the topic, acting as if you were just asking him questions.

“I was just asking him where the cleaning supplies were, he had them last.” You cleared your throat, the little lie he can easily see right through.

“You don’t have to lie to me, I raised you better than that, Y/N.” He raised his eyebrow, giving you another chance to tell the truth.

“Sorry, dad.” You mumbled, picking at the food on your plate to keep yourself distracted from not making eye contact with him.

“Look, I hate to be the bad guy here. I didn’t want you to be so involved with the scouts like this but I guess it was unavoidable when we live here. I just don’t want you to involve emotions when it’s not promised that he’ll make it back alive every mission.” Erwin had to be nice, only for your sake but deep down he wish he could lock you away from all the cadets.

“You’re acting as if I’m about to marry him.” You snort out a laugh, looking up at him and he chuckled.

“Certainly not, that would be over my dead body before I allow that to happen.” He admitted, making you furrow your eyebrows.

“You’re so dramatic. I’m not dating Jean.” You rolled your eyes, he was always dramatic you thought. He always watched over you like a hawk and you never really understood why when you were perfectly safe living inside the base.

But deep down Erwin always feared that he would end up losing you. Even though he always told himself, no emotions or personal feelings when it came to joining the scouts and becoming commander but now his life revolved around you, making sure you were safe, healthy and happy above all but what he also feared the most is that he won’t make it home one day to you and that’s why he’s always so loving and over protective.

That’s why he constantly wants to spend time with his only child, he didn’t want you to feel how he felt when his father disappeared. So when it came to you hanging out Jean a little too much, the father instinct kicked in and he tried to get between, afraid of losing you to not only Titans but to another man.

.

.

.

I hopeeeeee this turned out good for you🥺🤧 feel free to send in more requests.

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[wolfsrainrules]

Okay but headcanons for each of the Acrobaleno as Tsuna's grandparent on Nana's side? I loved your reply about Reborn as.

ALL:

--In all of these, in varying ways, Iemitsu might have Tsuna with Nana, but he sure as hell doesn’t get away with his bullshit. None of them will have it, and all of them have different Consequences™ for him trying it. 

All are painful. All are effective. 

--Nana? Nana was taught to act a certain way but she’s a Boss Ass Bitch™ and the world is never ready for it, it’s great

--Tsuna will be taught to ALSO be a Bad Ass and no one can tell me he won’t. That’s a baby Sky with a grandparent that is the strongest Flame of that kind’s user, and all the instincts that come with that especially when the kid if actually of their blood. He’s gonna be a tiny little bad ass in one form or the other.  

yes, even Skull. Fite me.

FON:

--This means that Tsuna has Hibari blood in him, as does Nana. DO YOU KNOW HOW FUNNY THAT IS TO ME.

--He grows up around Kyouya. Kyouya  claims him as a tiny little toddler looking at tiny bby in his Aunt’s arms, and he will literally fight anybody over him, that’s his tiny sky fuck off.

--Tsuna does in fact have the Hibari FITE ME instinct, it’s just so unexpected, because he’s a Hibari that picks his battles and it shows. That his Grandfather taught him to fight??

--Tsuna is very very good at hand to hand, is an absolute mismatched mess of fighting that flows so well together it looks like a single style. Fon is very proud. Tsuna is having fun. Kyouya thinks this is amazing cause it makes him unpredictable in a conventional sense and he loves it. 

--He has Fon’s ever present calm. It gives Reborn the jitters cause he recognizes it but can’t place where, and he has a feeling he’s fucked up somewhere but can’t place how.

VERDE:

--Verde is kinda distant, but he pays a hell of a lot of attention. Just because he’s not there often doesn’t mean he isn’t watching. 

--He makes it a mission to FUCK UP Vongola Ninth for trying to seal his baby grandson. He succeeds.

--Okay, but Genius! Tsuna???? I’m living.

-- Spanner and Shoichi losing their entire minds over him. ALSO BONDED ELEMENTS IN THIS AU?????? P L S. 

--Tsuna has this bad habit of pulling things apart and putting them back together to see how they work, but he accidentally charges them with Sky Flames and it has wild effects that everyone (himself, Spanner, Shoichi, and Verde and later on maybe Gokudera) are INTERESTED IN. 

COLLONELLO

--this immediately makes Lal Grandmother, and she’ll argue it, but she loves Tsuna dearly, and absolutely melts when he calls her it, not that it shows.

--this means Tsuna grows up going to Mafia Land, and running into Skull and I love that immensely. 

---Collonello is teaching him firearms and army survival shit and living his best life. (Lal is 100% helping and calling it ‘making sure you dont fuck it up and get him killed’) 

---Tsuna loves Skull, and her motorcycle and wants to learn i m m e n s e l y. Collonello is kinda jealous and retaliates by teaching Tsuna to drive a tank. 

--His childhood is adventurous and rough and tumble and he loves it. 

--He’s so well versed in Mafia at this point, and the island loves him. Reborn can’t pull his thing in this au, cause the guards would laugh and wave him in and Tsuna would rock it anyway, including the cannon event Reborn made Tsuna attempt. 

VIPER

--OKAY BUT PLS VIPER TEACHING TINY TSUNA TO COUNT WITH MONEY --cries in oh no thats cute fuck---

--Tsuna growing up with very eccentric assassins cause Varia family is very important and they CANT not check out their Mist’s grandson okay-

--oh shit that’s a tiny primo what the fuck

--what the fuck kinda protections are THESE, fuck off that’s NOT quality 

--Varia brawls drop to zero when Tsuna is sleeping or Xanxus will get PISSED, as will Viper and Tsuna will cry and everyone hates that even if they dont say it. 

--Xanxus loves him very much, he’s an OLDER BROTHER NOW thats HIS Tiny Idiot, who reaching for his flames and gave him a heart attack by grabbing them with tiny pudgy toddler fingers and then didnt get burned okay,

Skull

--wanna see Skull actually truly rage?? Touch his family. Go ahead. Sign that death warrant.

--Tsuna is a tiny little grease monkey mechanic having the time of his life

--Tsuna is able to take apart and put together engines with his eyes closed

--He is totally an adrenaline junkie and he loves stunt driving with his whole heart

---He has accidentally, and then later on purpose, enhanced Skull’s bikes and things with Sky Flames

-- He grows up with Skull’s unbiased Flame use thing, so he does....a lot of shit most Skies would be like “Bitch what the FUCK” about. Cause Skull has some info, but is also aware of what caging the ‘belief’ factor of Flames will do, cause he can do shit with his Flames that made Reborn and the others s t o p, so he never stops Tsuna from experimenting.

--Tsuna is therefore a tiny Flame monster, ESPECIALLY when he figures out Sky  Flames are actually EVERY OTHER flame added together and he can in fact pull them apart if he concentrates. 

[dracosathenaeum]

OBLIVIATE | D.M.  ABANDONED FIC OUTLINE

Hello~

I’ve had this fic for @fuckingdraco ‘s writing challenge outlined for almost a year now. Half of it is a skeleton; i have some scenes which are fully written out and others which are just first drafts and idea dumps. this is quite literally copied and pasted so good luck if you read it.

I never had the heart to completely delete it but never liked it enough to write it; so here is my 2.2k draft fo what would’ve been a series. 

If anyone decides to read it, be warned, it’s a mess. i just didnt want it to die in my notes so it’s having a life here, in my new section of my masterlist ‘fics that never saw the light of day’.

warnings: memory loss, fight scenes, gore, fighting

//

Being in a secret relationships had its ups and downs

You had to sneak around

But that just made the moments you were together so much more meaningful

You couldn’t brag about him to your friends

But the both of you were quite private people anyways, explaining your absences as studying in odd places

No one ever found out

It was just you and draco

The summer of 5th year was hard as he spent all of it in the south of France with his family

But it made coming back in 6th year so much more exciting

your fingers ached to touch him as you walked past his carriage

It was moments like this that you wish you could openly love him

But when your friends started gossiping about how Harry Potter thought he’d become a death eater, you were suddenly glad you weren’t linked to him publicly

That thought itself set a heavy weight of guilt on you

He came back in 6th year and he had changed

His kisses lost their spark

His eyes lost their light

He’d fuck you rough and hard, almost as if forgetting himself. Before making it up to you in the next instance

Slow love making that made you feel like you had just slept with an entirely different person

You followed him

You supposed you shouldn’t have

But he was skipping meals and you couldn’t exactly talk to his friends when they didn’t know you

You couldn’t confide in your friends as they wouldn’t understand

So you had no other choice

You followed him throughout the nights, and every time you would find him slipping into the room of requirement when he should’ve been slipping into bed with you

Once you had gauged what time he usually went and on what days you yourself went, 10 minutes before he was due

You watch as he fiddles around some ancient looking cupboard and you wonder why you’re jealous of a dead tree taking up dracos time

You watch as he sends things through, until finally it works for him

But its not happiness on his face nor relief

It looks like dread

He doesn’t look like he’s accomplished something, no there was no way

You watch as he takes off his tie, throwing it in the pile of robes and jumper

You watch as he rolled up the sleeves to his arms, the arms that had held you up more times than you could count

And you watch as the dark snaking lines of the dark mark are exposed on your lovers skin

His eyes whip round to see yours, instantly widening in fear

It isn’t until you try to walk towards him and he throws his hands up to stop you do you realise the shattered glass littered around you

He flicks his wand and you walk over, standing in front of him trying to figure out why

“How did you hide it from me for so long.”

“Simple charms, I was hoping you wouldn’t have to find out.”

More dialogue where he explains

“I don’t have a choice.”

“You always have a choice.”

Draco please

“I can’t, I had to take this on my skin because my father fucked up”

“If I, if I stop now, I cant save my mother”

“Draco please, we can find a way around this”

You kiss him

And it feels like you’ve both gone back to before 6th year

When times were simpler

When he loved you and you loved him and that was it

No other interruptions

“Oblivate”

PART 1

“Y/n?”

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“Draco Malfoy, we share some classes but we haven’t spoken before.”

“Oh, im sorry, of course. I’m really tired I dont usually forget peoples names I swear. I must’ve been so tired I wandered in, I apologise.”

“It’s okay, the doors over there.” You take that as his polite cue of asking you to leave

He offers a tight smile, one you remember from first year, one you remember seeing across the hall as he’s shut down by Harry Potter

Poor guy must be going through something

“Y/n”

you turn, you dont even hesitate. You dont know what it is but you feel as if you’ve known him all your life

You change and you see a gold ring dangling from a dainty gold chain. You ask your friends if they’ve seen it before

im forgetting so much these days

But you keep it on, it brings you an odd sense of comfort

You keep it tucked beneath your blouse, bringing it to you lips on occasion when youre anxious.

//

He had forgotten about his ring, the very ring you had clasped between your thumb and finger as you worked on your essay. How was he possibly supposed to get it from you

he’s well aware he’s staring but his mind is whirling

He needs that ring

“Draco, isn’t that your ring?”

He should’ve obligated himself, that might’ve been easier

“I’m sure it just looks similar.”

“Draco, we both know that’s the Malfoy famlily crest, I wondered why you stopped wearing it.”

“Wait did she steal it?”

misplaced it

She picked it up

He had to awkwardly walk over to pick it up

“That’s my ring.” You had told him all about how your friends hated him and how you had feigned indifference the entire time

He had to act the part

Youre flustered, eyes flicking between the ring and him, fingers clasping it tighter as if not wanting to let it go

He notices and his heart clenches at the sight

Remembering the night he gave it to you

*flash back*

“I’m so sorry, I must’ve picked it up by accident here.”

“Wait, how do you even know it’s his, prove it Malfoy.”

“My vaults could buy Hogwarts, why would I be stealing gold from a nobody?”

Your cheeks flare up and your friends glare at him but see his side

You struggle to unclasp it, and of course you fucking do because his stupid fucking ass charmed it so only he could take it off

he watches as you struggle with it, turning to a friend to help before you have 6 girls pulling at the very expensive chain on your neck

“For fucks sake youre going to damage it, let me.”

Your breath hitches as his surprisingly warm fingers brush your hair out of the way, fingers working quick to unclasp the necklace, the weight of it leaving your neck and you feel surprisingly empty

“Thank you.”

You watch as he goes, your fingers scratching over your neck, feeling something bubble in your throat

This was pathetic, you were so sad over something that was never yours in the first place

You spend the remainder of the time trying to figure out how you cam to be in possession of it in the first place

//

your name is written in beautiful cursive on a letter that you cannot help but love

You turn it over to see a beautiful wax seal on it, fingers trembling as you break it

The chain is yours.

d.m.

You tilt the envelope over into your hand to feel the familiar weight of the chain in your hand, clasping it around you neck in an instant

You look in the mirror but you dont recognise yourself

Your friends are surprised when you study with them

When you go back to your dorm room at a reasonable time

And you dont have a clue where it is they think you go

But how could you possibly explain to someone what you font remember

The chain is too light around you neck, its just not the same, it feels as if it’s chocking you rather than bringing you comfort

You start digging through your trunk and draws, looking for something to act as a pendant before you finally do.

Hidden at the back of one of your draws you find a little velvet box you dont remember stashing away. But then again, you dont seem to be remembering much these days.

Its a tiny little constellation of stars, charmed to sparkle and you heart wonders why you had never worn it before. It was a simple little charm but once hooked onto the necklace, you look at yourself in the mirror and finally feel as though a little part of you has returned.

PART 2 THE CONSTELLATION IS DRACO

6th and 7th years are a blur

A blur of horror

You dont really understand how life had changed so abruptly

You dont know how you end up fighting in a war at the age of just 18 but here you are

Draco stands with Hogwarts

And then his mother calls

You’ve seen him

Of course you have

You know what he is, know what his parents are

But you also know what he has done to make Hogwarts more bearable for you under the Carrows watch

The small things, diverging attention away from you and your friends

He wasn’t evil and some part of you knew that

You watch as he takes a shuddering breath and starts to walk

You watch as no one stops him

You watch as he loses more of his soul with each step towards mr no-nose

You dont know why you do it

You run

Your friends call your names, teachers joining in

They think youre joining the other side, they think youre fucked in the head, as they had since that incident in 6th year

But no, you were just missing something

you catch up to him pretty quickly, pulling him to a stop

“Ah, another to join my cause. Welcome young lady.”

“You know me. Im missing something but whenever I’m with you, whenever im holding this stupid constellation close to my heart, I feel at ease. Why”

he stares at you incredulously, and why wouldn’t he. Youre in the middle of a battlefield, Harry Potter has just been declared dead and Voldemort is less than a meter away

But you dont feel scared

And you feel stupid for not feeling scared

“It has felt like I dont even know who I am for the past 2 years, what did you do to me?”

You know everyones watching, you can hear the gasps on both sides as they think the worst of him

“I did what was necessary.” That was the first time he had spoken more than 2 words to you since he had gotten his necklace back that day in the library

“Draco, this is no time to be flirting. Come join me, bring her with you if you want.”

He tenses as voldy rests a boney hand on his shoulder, pulling him towards the other side, away from you

“If you won’t be joining us, we will use you an example of what will happen if you dont join us.”

You stare at him unfazed, fear was something you had gotten used to

Your fingers grip your wand in hand, running through all the spell harry had taught you in the da but its not enough

You are no match for voldy as he throws an unforgivable at you

You hear screams around you but all you hear is silence, as if the world had finally gone silent

//

Draco watched as the spell hit you directly in the chest. He had spent 2 years living with his actions all for it to have gone to naught in a single second

He watched as the light from his wand hits you

Before rebounding off you as if it hit a shield

There’s a flash of black and his mother is infront of him, wand out from deflecting the spell from bouncing back and hitting him

“Mother?”

“She’s important to you?”

“She gave him one of the fucking family heirlooms, either she’s important to him or he’s an idiot”

His parents were… bickering in the middle of a battle

voldy recollects himself but before he can talk neville speaks up “I have no idea what’s going on but-”

Draco drowns out the noise as he stares at you on the floor, youre covered in dust and in blood but youre alive

He hears screams as harry rolls from hatreds arms, he hears the cries from death eaters but all can see is you

“We’re switching sides now?”

“I mean he’s fairly distracted, he won’t have time to hunt us down, we owe it to our son.”

Fight scene

You remember everything

Fred Weasley teases the both of you, “we have a war to win, you can fuck later.”

He copy his lazy grin, a grin that lights you up, a grin that reminds you what’s left to fight for

You see the spell before he does

Youre in an arms reach of him but Draco cant reach you in time

You push Fred to the floor, putting yourself in the line of fire by default and draco has to watch you get hit all over again

“We need to talk about what exactly it is ive been wearing around my neck this entire time.”

“I think only my mother can answer that.”

[if you made it this far, send me an ask with the word ‘chicken’ and i’ll send you a cursed photo xx]

[izana-enjoyer]

izana step bro hc

NSFW | MINORS DNI

warnings: gaslighting, manipulating, stepcest, abuse, dubcon, izana being batshit cray cray, probably something i forgor to put here, just absolute discomfort

!gender neutral reader!

ok so this is au where shinichiro died etc but izana did not die in that one fight and he joined mikey’s family, you are mikey’s sibling :)

- ok so izana just wants to ruin mikey’s life

- taking u from him is the best way to do it

- but what hurts more than death? turning u against him.

- he would be so nice towards u, watch movies and go shopping and basically try to do everything that mikey didnt have time for just to make u really like him

- he wants to be the best brother ever!!

- will manipulate u and gaslight u:

”you know how much i care for you, i would never hurt you. i’ll always be here for you even when mikey isn’t”

- the hurting part is a lie, he will get physical sometimes, nothing too bad and not often but if you stay out too late with your friends or some he’ll get pissed off and slap you or something and then just

”i’m so sorry but this is for your own good, i was so worried about you, you can’t make your brother this worried”

- wants you completely for himself, gets mad when you hang with mikey

- not mad at you, just mad at mikey for stealing you, he doesn’t wanna lose you to mikey like he lost shinichiro

- ok so this far i’ve told just some manipulate mansplain malewife stuff but uhhh let me get my evil thoughts out

- ok so this man is severely mentally ill, this will get a bit disturbing since i believe he can be the worst and he will be

- ok so i believe that at some point when he has manipulated you enough to love him unconditionally he will start to test your limits.. like the limits of your trust and love for him, he wants to truly make you his and only his, listening to only him and caring about him only, following everything he says.

- since this fucker likes to have people dedicate their lives for him and serve him

- nobody can steal you from him. specially not mikey

- this is where mikey starts to notice that this isn’t regular care that siblings have for eachother

- also all this time izana has tolerated mikey like he won’t start unnecessary fights he just chilling and silently detesting mikey

- but now mikey is like hold on uhhh

- izana will make you sleep with him (not like that u nasty bitch, sleep like zzz night sleeps)

- and cuddle u while sleeping

- sometimes izana’s hands travel around your body a bit too much

- mikey will see this and confront izana about it when you’re not with them

- since mikey doesn’t want you to get involved if they start fighting

”what the hell are you doing”

- izana, being the bitch he is, will act like he has no clue what mikey is talking about

”what do you mean??”

”the sleeping together and all that”

”so i can’t sleep with my beloved siblings now?”

”you can but just keep your nasty fingers to yourself”

- now izana really wants to kick mikey in the face

- mikey is right and izana’s nasty ass doesn’t know what to say back since the little amount of morals that he has left is telling him that mikey is right, he is nasty for doing all this, will it stop him, no. he will continue to do it, the moral compass is as good as jack sparrows compass. aka absolutely fucking broken and not working

- anyway the situation ends when you walk in the room

- u just see your brothers looking at eachother like they’re gonna start ww3

- you ask what they fighting about and mikey just goes ”nothing big, just that izana ate my candies” and flashes his cutest smile ever being the sweetheart he is

- now mikey is a good brother, mikey knows boundaries, mikey wants to actually keep you safe, be like mikey

- izana will just play along knowing that it’s for the best to not start any drama

- for the next month these fuckers will start fights about literally anything

- mikey forgot to flush the toilet, izana gets pissed off, izana left freezer door open and now mikey’s ice cream has melted, mikey will almost kick izana in the face

- anyway back to izana’s mischief and nasty doings

- will start asking weird questions like ”are you dating anyone” and ”have you ever kissed anyone”

- since he wants you to be completely his, he needs to make sure that you don’t find any romantic partners to replace him

- if you happened to have a partner… well they would be gone in 2-5 business days

- yandere izana😍

- so let’s just assume you aren’t dating and haven’t kissed anyone ok that will make things easier for me as a writer, i’m the writer and i have now decided your life. yes i’m rewriting your life, cope with it.

- izana being the best brother ever will teach you how to kiss

- it feels wrong, he’s your brother why is he doing this

- if you question him: get ready to be guilt tripped

”you don’t trust me? why don’t you trust your brother, i only want your best. other’s will use you and hurt you, but i would never do anything bad for you. please trust me.”

- pray god that mikey doesn’t see this… or actually pray god that he does and saves you from this situation but like… you get the point

- izana will also ask you if you know what sex is

- you indeed know what it is, you’re not 6, you are an adult

- will start initiating it.

- if you say no or struggle he will start acting sad and guilt trip you into consent (that indeed is not consent)

- luckily he won’t be rough with you

- he’s trying to make you feel as good as possible since he’s such a nice brother

- he will tell you to not tell mikey

“don’t tell mikey about this, this is our secret fun time. mikey would only get jealous… you know you can only trust me”

- izana can’t help his urge to mark you with hickeys tho

- mikey will know

- he wants mikey to know

- he doesn’t want you to tell him but he knows that mikey will get the hints

- mikey will be absolutely devastated when he sees the hickeys

- at this point he’s ready to kick izana out if the house

- but izana got you wrapped around his finger a bit too tight

[tigerdrop]

in lieu of doing more strenuous hand-based activities heres the Dogboy Gordon In Heat Megamix ive been talking about. i wrote this over the course of a couple months in an effort to feel okay about writing horny shit again and i only just realized there are nearly 6 thousand words here. and they only really fuck for like 10% of that

ta-dah

ive thought a lot about gordon being stuck back at gordonhouse after getting kicked out of barneyhouse. i think its ripe for a lot of pining. (and yes, he is pining over the guy hes actively banging. hes being a big mopey idiot over the fact that he doesnt get to have his fuckbuddy around 24/7.) absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever and gordons already at a baseline of "wheres benrey. wheres benrey"......and now i am about to turn it up to 11

so lets say......gordons starting to feel weirdly under the weather. sweaty and irritable and tired. hes holing himself up in his room a lot, wrapping himself up in blankets to fight off a chill and a sniffliness that wont go away. and hes gettin awfully moody, too. real fuckin testy. starting shit with freemind for no reason and snapping at og gordon like hes a teenager. and......hes nesting, almost, or at least, gathering up a whole bunch of blankets and pillows and anything that smells vaguely like benrey. (hes not really aware hes doing this last thing.)

basically, long story short, feetman is fucked up. hes pathetic. hes being a huge bitch. at least og gordon feels vaguely sorry for him, and expresses this by way of observing him and trying to treat it. for science. its better than freemind, who just loudly complains about him being a huge bitch and reeking up the place. theres something weird coming from vr gordons corner of the house.....a musky, heady, hormonal kind of thing that makes freemind act simultaneously territorial and irritable and more lascivious than normal. and that also piques og gordons attention, because having both of them be wound up little freaks at the same time is enough to make even the most resilient person pull their hair out

now gordon primes got his suspicions as to whats going on, but hes not gonna tell vr gordon that he suspects hes going into heat. that would compromise the experiment, and all that. so poor gordons just going thru all this shit not knowing what in the fuck is wrong with him and getting more worked up and irritable about it by the day. hes convinced that hes just got the flu, or something......except, uh, haha, jesus christ he is horny all the FUCKING TIME

he doesnt get it! he feels like shit all the time, so why is he constantly fighting off boners and having weird wet dreams and thinking about-- well. his fucking boyfriend, he guesses. (are they boyfriends?? he doesnt know. he gets a weird, sharp pang when he thinks about them not being boyfriends, at this point, but its not like theyve ever talked about it!) gordons half-convinced that hes just losing his mind from being stuck inside all the time and he really just wants to see benrey again. its, like, all he thinks about. (see? hes losing it. theres the proof.)

the sucks thing for everybody else is that gordon is also Extremely Vocal about how shitty he feels and how much he wishes he didnt feel shitty so he could go see benrey and how much he cant stand benrey for not being able to read his mind and come over when he feels bad. eventually freemind gets so sick of his shit that he decides to cut out the middleman and get benrey involved directly. "come take care of your fucking dog before i call the aspca! animal neglect is a crime, asshole!"

(if pressed, freemind would adamantly reject the idea that hes being nice to gordon. but on some level, hes kinda sympathetic. the guys clearly miserable, and he just keeps asking for the same fucking thing. might as well humor him to shut him up.)

vr gordon is completely unaware of these machinations, however. hes just holed up in his room trying to work out what makes him feel better because, uhh, powerade isnt helping

jacking off doesnt do a whole lot for him anymore. like, it feels good, but its not very satisfying. gordon just ends up feeling more restless than anything afterward. and hes always stupid horny. more blankets. a box fan. less blankets. sleeping with one of benreys shirts pressed up to his face. grinding into his pillow when he wakes up hard from yet another weird dream. theyre all a little helpful, and he feels like hes working towards the right thing, somehow, but its never really enough to take the edge off

and then.....he tries......jerking off more. especially when he realizes that its bizarrely soothing to do so while he can smell benrey up close and personal on that stupid shirt of his. better still when he rolls onto his side.....and then his stomach.......rocking his hips into the mattress until he gets the idea to lift his hips a little. and......oh. cool. something kind of......clicks. in his head. as he raises his hips higher while he keeps his arms wrapped around a pillow and benreys shirt jammed against his nose. hes got that lil moment of realization that this is good, actually. this feels like a good move. and its making some of that discomfort melt away

and gordon thinks about.....how it felt. earlier. when they were with barmey. and benrey had him just like this, ass up, face down, and was spreading him apart and licking him open and making him submit and he groans so fucking hard that embarassment just rips through him like lightning. but his tail starting to wag a little faster.....electricity shooting through his belly......and he cant help but wonder. what if benrey had kept going? pulled back and-- maybe, replaced his tongue with his fingers, one at a time, curling them inside him and telling him how well hes behaving and-- and his dick throbs, hard, and gordon realizes he wants fingers inside of himself right fucking now, thank you, hes not fully certain how to accomplish it be he is going to fucking try

(sigh) so my guy figures out about the old fingers in the ass trick. and i need you to understand that i am fully convinced that this is one of those guys who has an uproarious reaction to getting fingers in his ass. mr repressed and uptight over here doesnt really get what the big deal is until he gets braver and pushes a little deeper and hes rock hard in an instant, goodbye, just like everybodys favorite creative writing exercise

and this is what he decides to do for a solid day or two without leaving his room, because, honestly, this is awesome. and the longer he spends jerking off the less time he spends stressing about the fact that his imaginations getting really vivid, here. sure, like, hes no stranger to weird dreams even before this, but this is the first time hes really letting his mind run wild and this dude is nonstop thinking about being bred and gordon still has no fucking idea that hes in heat. doesnt even occur to him

unfortunately this also does not solve his problems but at least it feels baller and it keeps him occupied. also, unfortunately, the increased rate of jerking off is causing a serious uptick in Dog Smells, the effect of which is turning freemind into a nightmare. its just not good vibes in this house. enter: benrey

now i need you to understand that when these two meet up again i want gordon to get Emotional. think about how genuinely excited he gets to see some of his pals in canon. the like......excitement and disbelief when benrey shows up outside his window throwing rocks at it before noclipping in. he forgets to even act pissed off at first. i think it would be super fucking cute for him to drop the game for a moment just out of shock, basically. his tails waggin, his ears are perked up, and hed probably tackle benrey to the ground if he wasnt also a sweaty, trembling mess whos been holed up in his room for days.

and benrey has No Fucking Idea what he has walked in on here. as far as benrey knows, freemind just demanded he get over there and take care of his dog.

(INTERLUDE: here is the part where i gin up a freemind POV of this exact scene. b/c i am out of my fucking mind

so. i had the thought of a freemind POV chapter where hes spying on gordon and benrey.....because. gordons in heat. ive talked about that scenario before too (literally so many FUCKING times okay i just need this dude to have the uncontrollable urge to be bred like a little bitch! and for benrey to take pity on him and make him feel better by nutting in him literally as many times as is physically possible!!!)

but i wanna manifest it in this specific way: from an outside perspective. voyeurism is great and also i have a one track mind and basically the only time i traffic in Other Guys in this fandom anymore is as a participant in gordon and benreys horse shit. Im not apologizing for this

lets say.....vr gordons behavior has been getting worse and worse for "unknown reasons" and freeman prime just sees it as a key observational opportunity for his research. while freeminds getting really irritated at how much its cutting into his normal way of life. for one thing, vr gordons room reeks, and he cant even escape it in his own room! and its turning him into a feisty, aggressive, and loud son of a bitch. but he cant even resolve it in his usual fashion at this point (baiting vr gordon into another competition/fuckfest) b/c gordons being a little sadsack holed up in his room and doesnt wanna play

but also.....he kinda just feels bad for the guy at a certain point. hes clearly really miserable and looks downright ill and all hes asking for is to see his boytoy again. (gordons convinced that hes dying, and feels the need to dramatically speak to benrey one last time before he croaks.) so freemind decides, in all his benevolence, to go over gordon primes head and drag the guy over there anyway. (with machinations, not his literal bare hands. what is he, a caveman?) he reasons that itll be a good opportunity to twist gordons arm into groveling at his feet later

and he spies on the two of them in gordons room.....why? idk. possibly something to do with investigating this relationship between a gordon and a barney that he had yet to fully analyze. tl;dr he gets trapped in their closet for a remix of that one barmey voyeurism chapter b/c why the fuck not

i just.....i dont know.....i think theres something really charming about a 3rd party not being able to fully make out what theyre saying or doing but piecing things together anyway.....like benreys weirdly soft tone of voice when hes talking to a super agitated gordon. as far as any of them know, hes not really like that. he either sounds bored or smug, but either way, its usually straight-up antagonistic

it would make freemind bristle to hear it b/c its almost a mocking tone, but.....it makes gordons shoulders drop and gets him to let go of some of that tension and thats probably fascinating to watch. literally soothing him like a stressed out dog, huh. smoothing back his hair and murmuring things in a low, even tone that freeminds enhanced hearing still isnt good enough to make out. (the guy mumbles, okay? he needs a fucking toastmasters meetup.)

it would equal parts horrify and fascinate freemind, in my onion. watching a version of himself fall that hard into the loyal pet role.....its pathetic! for all that gordon goes on about not being a slave to his instinct or whatever, he sure is doing a bad job of acting like it! its like watching himself, but worse.

and benreys having to soothe him like a startled animal b/c he doesnt even know whats wrong with himself, but theres something thick enough on the air that even benrey can smell it, and hes taking some stabs at the dark. especially with how charged some of the shit gordons saying is......"i cant fucking take it anymore", "you smell so good", "i dont know whats wrong with me, man, my dick hasnt gone down for days and im pretty sure i need a doctor-- no, a real one, not the other gor-- NOT a vet, JESUS"

and the whole time.....freeminds peeking from behind a closet door. watching them devolve from outright hostility into "gordon climbing into benreys lap and shoving one of benreys hands up his shirt and demanding that he fucking touch him already"

normally i dont think freemind would be averse to a little bit of voyeurism, here. if it was anybody else, hed probably at least engage in a little heavy petting. but this is getting weird, man. he cant shake the uncanny feeling that this is something too intimate for him to be watching. for one thing, gordons whimpering like a goddamn dog just from a little necking, and for two, hes never really been the kind of guy to watch people make out for 15 minutes before they get to the good stuff

its just kind of unsettling how much these two clearly really, really like each other at this point. its not like watching gordon prime give vr gordon a handjob as part of a "test". freemind expected more of a hatefuck kind of deal out of these two, what with how often gordons normally going on about how much he hates the guy, what a pain in the ass benrey is, how he just wishes benrey would stop jerking him around.....etc. freemind could shit himself right now. that lying bitch!

i imagine its also kind of painful, on a personal level, for him to watch this borderline-sappy shit. he cant even fathom being on the receiving end of that behavior, let alone from......well. theyve all got their barneys, right? and gordon primes basically doomed himself to incel status b/c he wont nut up and do anything about it. freemind just assumed they were all in the same boat: cursed to casual sex with their roommates/clones, forever, and unable to achieve any kind of intimacy b/c all 3 gordons are fucked up in the exact same way. since theyre all just diff flavors of the same fucking guy, right?

well, theres the evidence that hes wrong. and that vr gordons better than him, somehow. thats gotta suck, bro

anyway then he watches vr gordon get railed in the ass a bunch and jerks off anyway b/c its still hot. see ya)

“take care of your dog”. huh. hes got no clue what that means but, yknow, he does kinda miss his dog. hasnt seen gordon in awhile. and he immediately comments "wow. you look fucked up" in as blunt and unsympathetic a way as possible. but gordons so far gone that he cant even work up a good anger about it. he is pretty fucked up, man. and benrey sits on the bed and slaps his forehead with a palm to take his temperature (and that gets gordon to bitch at him, finally, that thats not how you do it, asshole) and judges that, uh, he is hot. in his expert opinion

and thats when gordon kinda grabs his sleeve and tugs it and starts tryin to say something. hes really bad at it, because he is having to perform the mortifying task of Owning Up To It, but eventually he manages to grind out that he needs benrey to touch him, please. just pet him. something. he feels really bad and he just needs benrey to scratch his fucking ears. this is the most gordon can cop to in one go, and it is such a sad struggle to watch, but benreys caught off guard by it and he feels weirdly bad for gordon upon hearing it so  hes just like "whoa, okay" when gordon tugs his hand to his head

gordon groans the moment his fingernails start scratching behind the ears and digging into his scalp. even just that much feels really fucking good. its comforting, for one thing, and its benrey, for another, and the physical touch feels so fucking good right now that goosebumps are crawling down his neck. gordon cant help but lean against benrey and bury his head in the crook of his shoulder. he wants to hide his face from scrutiny and he wants to get closer but he doesnt know how to say what his fucking problem is

and benreys weirdly quiet. just kinda mumbling and shushing him intermittently, awkward and not sure what to do b/c this is a level of intimacy he was not expecting but gordons sure is responding nicely to a second hand in his hair

so having both of benreys hands scratching at his scalp is really getting to gordon. hes scritchin behind the ears and gordons tails wagging at a mile a minute. the feelings making goosebumps race down his neck and arms. he starts kind of mumbling something into benreys shoulder, how hes been feeling so fucked up lately, and he squirms a little closer. hes not really aiming for anywhere in particular but every neuron thats firing in him right now is telling him to get closer. make contact. he missed the fucking guy, what can he say.

and one of benreys hands......slips down to gordons face. his jaw. a thumb pushing into that soft little divot between his jaw and neck, like hes trying to push up into gordons fucking teeth. its weird and bizarrely intrusive, but benreys hand is broad and warm and gordon leans into it anyway, groaning with relief. its not like its not doing anything for him. kind of the opposite, actually. then he palms at gordons neck, and gordon starts breathing harder. he can feel his heartbeat rabbit-fast, pushing against benreys skin (and theres no way benrey isnt feeling that, too).

benrey eyes are lidded and his breaths starting to get heavier, too. naturally, yknow, since gordons practically draped over him right now, melting all the more the longer benrey keeps petting him. oxytocin is crazy, man, especially when a guys in the full throes of some kind of chemical meltdown of the glands. gordons eyes are screwed shut, tail thumping furiously against the bed, and hes panting at benreys neck like hes a fucking dog.  he just doesnt know how to articulate what the fuck his problem is

benrey smells insanely good to him right now, and gordon just blurts that out. benrey gives him some shit for it, but when gordon only makes a weird noise in response and fists his hands in benreys hoodie, it makes him shut up real quick. hes squeezing out words about feeling like he needs something, but its clearly a fucking effort. its almost pitiful

so. gordons crawled right into benreys lap, too impatient after days and days of feeling like this (you know, being in heat, in so many words). hes been pounding off like crazy, that brand new collar of his strapped to his neck nearly every time b/c hes that desperate to feel… well. *benrey*. he cant fucking jerk off to thoughts of anything else - porn doesnt do it for him, and his fantasies slip right back to the same thing every single time. its frustrating! hes bisexual, for gods sake! its not like hes normally immune to the wiles of the Phat Ass White Girl, but lately he just keeps ending up on his hands and knees and whining benreys name into his pillow and he couldnt focus on a girls rack if he tried

point being. hes being awfully fucking demanding. (and also, hes wearing the collar *right fucking now)*. he shoves benreys hand up his shirt and shivers the moment he makes contact with gordons burning-hot flesh. and hes demanding that benrey touch him already, jesus, hes losing his mind! and benreys just crooning at him, “bossy, huh,” but hes scritching gordons ears and palming at his side and nosing at gordons neck and gordon starts to feel like hes melting into it. his protests at being talked down to are perfunctory at best

benrey licks a stripe up gordons neck and starts muttering his stupid horseshit right in gordons ear and it makes gordon clutch his shoulders so tight, claws digging into the meat of him. benreys kind of into it, though, and it just makes him laugh, low and harsh and right in gordons ear. that just makes gordons problem worse. he lets out quiet, nasal whines on every exhale, like a literal fucking dog.

he starts teasing, like, “haha, you’re *gagging* for it, bro,” but gordon doesnt respond with the defensiveness he expects. instead, its like opening a floodgate - he is, hes fucking *desperate*, okay, his dick hasnt gone down in days and he wants benrey so bad he cant see straight and he cant stop thinking about him and all of this comes tumbling out of him at once. gordons trying to press himself as close to benrey as he can physically get, legs straddling benreys lap and arms clutched tight around his back. and when benrey prods a little more, tells gordon to say what hes been thinkin about, gordon starts to pant, squeezing his eyes shut. but he cant bring himself to do anything more than choke and stutter on the words

hes half-hard in his underwear already (and, lets be be clear, he was only in boxer briefs and a tank top to begin with. hes sweating buckets and its the least amount of clothing he could get away with wearing around the house) and his tails thumping a mile a minute and hes so far gone, just from benrey talking down to him and kissing his neck and scratching his ears. but hes not budging yet, so benrey slides that hand on his ears over to his ponytail and *yanks*. tells him, “speak.” gordons dick twitches rapidly, and he lets out a sharp sound, and he finally says it: he needs benrey to *fuck* him, jesus

benrey lets out a harsh breath at that. “yeah? thats what puppy wants?” and the nickname should blister him, make him feel to embarrassed to continue, but gordons too desperate to care. he just starts spewing a litany of “god yes”s and “please”s. hes getting harder and harder, pressed up against benreys belly, and benrey can *feel* it. “good boy,” he mutters, and those claws dig harder, that panting gets louder and harsher

he slips a hand around to gordons back, rubbing slowly for a moment as if to soothe him, and then slides it under the back of gordons boxers. and lower still. starts rubbing at gordons hole. that gets a quiet “oh god” out of gordon.

gordon cant help himself - he rocks forward against benrey, just a little, rubbing his bulge against what he realizes is benreys *extremely* hard dick in his sweatpants. hes not the only one whos got it bad. but he *is* the only one whispering, “fuck, fuck, fuck,” as benrey pushes a little further, makes as if hes about to breach gordon dry. the poor guys so needy that he probably wouldnt even argue!

but benrey just stares at him, wide eyed and flushed, mouth hanging open a little. gordons so hot for this that it surprises the both of them.

anyway after some boring position finagling benrey coaxes gordon onto his hands and knees, running a broad hand down gordons shaking back. and he pulls back gordons tail, exposing him. its so fucking humiliating - gordons got his face buried in a pillow, and his ass in the air, and hes never felt so *vulnerable* before. he wants to argue, he wants to lift his head and look back to make sure that everythings, like, okay back there - benreys staring at his entire asshole, okay, and he wasnt exactly anticipating benrey making a house call to fuck him in the ass - but every time he lifts his head, or starts to say something neurotic about it, benrey chides him about it. clicks his tongue. tells him, “hey. dogs dont talk” or “i said *bow*, bro”.

for all his insisting that hes a real guy, that hes not just a dog, gordons feeling less and less like a human and more like something in thrall to his instincts. the condescension rankles like it always does, but doing what benrey tells him to feels good. feels natural. presenting himself like this feels like what hes *supposed* to do. it doesnt stop him from running his mouth entirely, but it helps to mitigate some of the embarrassment.

and then… benrey *licks*. gordon tenses and gasps. he doesnt know how benrey can stand it, its gotta be, like, unhygienic! but that didnt scare him off the last time they tried this, and its not like gordon hasnt thought about it since. hes thought about it a lot, actually. but hes been too neurotic to ask for it. benreys not stupid, though. hes a good dog owner (at least, so he thinks) and hes gonna take care of his dog. so he licks again, and again, pressing a little harder against gordons hole on each pass with the broad side of his tongue until he dares to breach it with the tip.

gordons rock hard again in an instant. his dick hangs between his legs and drips onto the sheets. he digs his fingers into the pillow now, tearing holes in its surface with those sharp nails of his, and he makes embarrassingly high noises that he muffles into into the pillow, too. hes tense, hes so fucking tense, he should be clamping down and making benreys task really fucking hard, but theres bright pink sweet voice dripping from his hole and benreys rubbing the side of his thigh in an effort to soothe him and both of these things work in tandem to get him to relax. and benrey works his tongue in further, further than a human ought to.

the tip was one thing, but it gets wider as benrey pushes it in, and its just as good as it was before - better, even, because now its just the two of them, just a master and his dog, and benreys the only one he wants to see him like this. bent over and whimpering. he cant— he cant stomach the thought of anybody else doing this to him. hell, there was a point once where the idea of stomaching *benrey* doing this to him would have made him laugh. but here he is. benreys fucking him open with his tongue and pressing against something thats making him see stars and gordon just wants *more*. he says it so sweet, too, voice growing hoarse and raw as he begs benrey to just fucking do it already, he doesnt wanna come like this!

gordon gets so worked up and emotional about it that benrey takes the time to scratch behind his ears again, shushing him and telling him to chill. benreys got him. hes been a good dog, and good dogs get treats. hearing the words “good dog” makes gordons entire body flush. thats all he wants, really. he wants to be a good dog. he wants to be *told*. he blurts out, “oh my god— say it again,” and benreys like, “huh? say what? youre gonna have to be more specific,” clicking the last syllable. it makes all the hairs on gordons head rise and prickle with shame. the best he can do is mumble it into his pillow.

benrey hears it, though, and tugs at gordons collar from behind, just enough to raise his head. “whassat? you want me to call you a good boy?” gordon cant bring himself to answer that directly, but his stupid body betrays him by making him whine. jesus christ, yes, thats all he WANTS! he needs benrey to be good and nice to him for once in his fucking life and give him what he wants instead of taking, taking, taking! but benrey just tells him that hes gonna have to earn it. gonna have to be *real* good for him. gordon could fucking snarl at that, but benreys pulling back to rub his dick between gordons cheeks and against his hole and that shuts him up pretty fast because hes *so close* to getting what he wants and hes not about to fuck it up now by running his big dumb mouth

and then… he starts to push in. that sweet voice has loosened gordon up enough to take even benrey, who, uh, is definitely the bigger of the two, in that regard. he goes slow, uncharacteristically so, and gordons chest heaves with the force of how hard hes breathing. a quiet string of “oh god”s spills out of him as he tries to crane his neck back to watch. the head breaches him with a strange popping sensation, and benrey groans, loud, as the rest of him slides in with little resistance in comparison. “good,” he pants in turn, “youre takin it so good,” and—

and gordon comes, in weak, aborted spurts. it snuck up on him. he clenches so fucking tightly that it winds benrey a little. he breathes out, “whoa. did you—” but gordon just begs him to shut up, keep going, hes not— hes not done yet, its always like this, its not *enough*. his dick barely even flags afterward, it just hangs there, achingly hard and dripping with cum. benrey cant even find it in himself to make fun of him. he wants it so fucking bad, doesnt he? and he feels so good, so fucking tight and slick around benrey that the only thought running through his head is “gotta take care of my dog gotta fuck my best friend gotta nut in him and make him howl”. so he pushes himself alllll the way in until theyre pressed together, skin to skin.

then he starts to move. slow, careful thrusts, more for benreys benefit than gordons. if hes not careful, hes gonna blow his load, right then and there, and hes trying to make it good for gordon, too, okay? unlike *some* of them, hes not gonna bust in two minutes and then spend the next half hour crying and trauma-dumping to the guy hes still got his dick inside of.

once he thinks hes got a grip, though, benrey starts fucking him in earnest, and that changes gordons vocalizations from weak little whimpers into something louder. less restrained. hes given up any pretense of being quiet so that his other selves dont hear that hes snuck his boytoy into his room. just loud, wordless moans on each thrust, initially muffled into the pillow but soon spilling into the wider room when he turns his head to catch his breath. the only words hes managing are “oh god” and “please” and “benrey, benrey, *benrey*”, and benrey just responds to him like, “yeah? thats good? fuuuck, bro, so good for me,” all short of breath and barely able to speak himself

he wants to see gordons face. he *needs* to see gordons face. needs to see what hes doing to him, needs to see that cute fuckin blush of his. so he tugs on gordons collar again, bringing him to his hands and knees properly instead of that bowing position. and then further still - pulls him back so that benreys on his knees, and gordons on his knees in turn, on his lap, cock still buried inside of him and fucking him in short, hurried thrusts. “paws up,” benrey tells him, and gordon does it. instantly. no resistance. just folds them at his chest like a real dog would.

“whos a good boy?” benrey croons, right in his ear again. gordon gasps, “i-i am!”

“yeah? youre a good boy?” nod, wail. “whose— whose good boy are you?”

and gordon chokes on his response. he cant say it, he *cant*, he doesnt want to be benreys but he does, he *does*. he doesnt want to be benreys because its not fucking fair! he cares so fucking much! so much more than benrey does, it feels like, obsessing over the guy like hes wrapped thorny vines all around gordons heart and he cant so much as shift in his seat without feeling the tug and the ache and thinking of benrey again. and benrey doesnt care, he never fucking cares, except—

except he showed up at gordons house, in his room. without even being asked. like he knew something was wrong. and he— hes always talking to gordon, shooting him stupid texts just to make him laugh. scheduling *date nights* for them. date nights where, yeah, maybe they couldnt see each other in person, and maybe they always end in some kind of depraved sexual act, but its not like gordons not into it. hes frighteningly into it, actually. and hes *so* into hearing benreys voice, low and crooning, right in his ear, and seeing him lean on an elbow and smile at him afterward. its— its practically genuine. and benreys always making excuses to talk with him, do things with him, watch stupid fucking movies that only gordon cares about and stream with him on twitch to help boost his subscriber count and—

and—

oh god. maybe he *does* care. that might be more terrifying than the alternative.

then benrey yanks the collar again. presses the whole of gordons back against his front in one hot, unbroken line. and asks, “i said, whose good boy are you, bro? *speak.*”

“benrey,” he blurts out, a ragged moan, “d-dont make me sa-AY it, oh god—”

“no?” benrey stills suddenly. his hands keep gordon stuck in place, unable to move or bounce or feel benrey shift inside of him. “thats, uh… thats too bad, friend. this trains for good boys only. good dogs go to heaven 2. no bad dogs allowed. gonna have to, uhh, escort you off—”

“im not a bad dog!”

“i dunno, gordo. bein’ kind of, uh… disobedient.”

(sorry. thats all i got . byeeee)