#he was way more agressive as a child

[saintseiya-thoughts]

• Ikki - Headcanons

Also a spicy food enjoyer along with Shun ! Seiya tried to eat his part once and his tongue never fully recovered 😢 got worse since his taste got lowered

After his hellish training at Death Queen Island Shiryu tried to make him eat healthy and light food, his stomach being way more fragile due to malnutrition, he didn't listen and ended up throwing up all night, lesson learned I guess

His body is naturally really warm, he's almost never cold and everybody fears him in summer, especially Hyôga

He got that anger issues but isn't really the kind to insult and be mean for no reason ? If you don't annoy him he's pretty chill, just grumpy, he really has that grandpa energy

A night owl, he gets overwhelmed easily by others and feels better alone at night, and actually enjoys peaceful activities like cooking, when others wake up there's food on the table and no more Ikki around, he went back to his room and usually comes out later (he mostly does it to keep himself busy at night tho)

He actually knows how to style hair (ponytail, braids, etc) as he does Shun's hair since they're kids

[wtfcuk835]

AHHHHHHH I THINK I HIT TAG LIMIT BUT OH MY GOD IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO CUTE AND SOFT AND INTIMATE AND ADORABLE.

I NEED TO CHEW ON SOMETHING. I NEED TO RUN AROUND. I NEED TO KISS THEM ALL FUCKINF SILLY. I LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEEE THIS AND I LOVE YOU!!!!! THANK YOU ARI 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

suguru wakes up, with a jolt, to the sound of a thud and a meek little yelp.

his eyes blink open, like the shutter of an old camera, raven lashes fluttering along — met only with the dim darkness of your bedroom. not quite pitch black, the light of something soon to resemble dawn bleeding in through the closed blinds, a blue kind of hue that doesn’t do much for him. everything is still dark.

but he can make out shapes, see the ceiling above him, and when he turns his head to the right he can see the contours of shoko’s face; fast asleep, snores building up in her throat and spilling from her lips.

(ridiculously cute.)

sadly, suguru doesn’t have time to savour the sight. because it takes him no less than a moment to notice that his other sleepy baby isn’t there at all — he barely even has to look, just feeling the mattress below him, knowing something is missing. he can’t feel at ease unless you’re weighing it down.

”baby…?” he rasps, deep and groggy, body moving on its own. elbows digging into the mattress, lifting himself up — a tug of alarm stirring his heartstrings.

the thud, your absence, the unmistakable yelp.

his muddled mind puts three and three together — and he sluggishly, steadily pulls himself up, almost desperate to locate you, but careful not to wake shoko. he moves elegantly, like a panther, slipping out of bed, bare feet meeting the cold floorboards as he stands up to his full height. hair a mess, a raven’s nest, sweatpants close to slipping off one side of his hips. absently wiping at his bleary eyes.

as soon as he regains his vision, stands up straight — he sees you. lying on the floor, like an abandoned plushie, while the adorable culprit is sprawled out peacefully on the mattress above you. you’re trying to get up, all disoriented and sleepy, and suguru thinks his heart might just melt down to the marrow.

this is exactly why he makes sure to sleep on the edge of the bed, most nights. exactly to prevent this — prevent his lovers from rolling over, tumbling right off. he doesn’t mind sleeping in the middle on days you want one arm each to latch onto, of course not; nothing warms his heart more than having both his babies on either side of him. but it feels good, to be the shield between you and the hardwood floor — making sure neither of you could ever fall off. it feels good, to watch you both nuzzle together like a pair of sleepy kittens. left side, middle, he’s fine with either.

just as long as he can prevent this. having to watch your small, sleepy form paw at the floorboards in search of stability. it breaks his heart in two.

”oh, baby,” he croons, deep and dripping with honey, crouching down beside you. effortless, as he scoops you up into his arms, one of his palms curling around your back — running down your spine.

and your eyes flutter open. hazy eyes, blinking at him, gaze almost absent, like you’re not quite sure what you’re looking at; but you’re already leaning into his touch, muscles softening, as if your very essence knows you’re safe. in his arms, in his lap.

it makes him want to cry.

(it makes him want to give you everything.)

he wastes no time in securing you, arms under your legs and behind your back as he stands up again. cradling you close, letting out a quiet coo, as if shushing a disgruntled child. the fall must have woken you up, poor thing. he wishes he could be angry with shoko, but she looks too sweet, when she’s so deeply asleep; drooling a little, groaning out something that sounds like a name. he only shakes his head, still rubbing gentle circles into your back.

”what a little bully, huh…?” 

no response. you’re already starting to nod off, again, and so he gets back into bed — guiding you to rest against the wall, safe and secure, where no sleepy girlfriends can get to you. tucking you in under his chin, making sure you’re comfortable against him.

(your shield, always. that’s all he wants to be.)

his lips find their way onto your forehead, pressing a gentle kiss between your brows. soft and chaste, holding you snugly, so eager to dote on you. his heart is still bleeding with tenderness, he can’t keep it in, it’s leaking all over the mattress and urging him to hold you tighter against his ribs. he thinks of how confused you must have been, waking up on the floor, wonders if you hurt your head on the way down — pressing another kiss there, for good measure. 

sweetly, sleepily, your lips curl up into a smile. 

a yawn slips past your lips, as you nuzzle into him, cheek all squished against his cushiony chest. looking so pleased that he almost wonders if this was your plan all along, a way to get all his attention.

suddenly, a weight drapes itself against his spine.

while he’s busy coaxing you back to sleep, he feels it; a sleepy murmur, muffled right against his bare skin, as a pair of lanky arms wrap around his waist. her voice is so raspy he just barely picks up on it, but his ears are attuned to every sound she makes.

shoko stirs behind him, fingers digging into his hips.

”… give ’em back…”

… his brows furrow.

”thief,” she yawns, again, all groggy and gruff. so, so silly. ”give them back… you’re so greedy…”

a raise of his brow, as he breathes out a scoff. ”you kicked them off the bed, you know…”

shoko only breathes out another groggy grumble, in response; her lanky arms tugging at his shoulders, using them as leverage to drag herself over his body and closest to the wall. he only lets out an amused huff, letting her manhandle him a bit — letting her snuggle up to you, warming your back. suguru feels himself smiling. watching you squirm, when her short, auburn strands tickle your sensitive collarbone, when she sighs into your neck. right in the middle of the two, right where you should be.

right where you belong.

he leans forward, brushes the curtain of your bangs away from your face, plants his lips against your forehead; smears a kiss against shoko’s cheek. he can’t help himself but to fall into you, breathe in the scent of your moisturizer, fading citrus drops and coconut oil. can’t help himself but to love you.

(his angels, he thinks, the word stuck on his tongue. his reason to be.)

suguru hugs you both close, now separating you fully from the edge of the bed, the chilly mahogany floor just waiting for impact. like the steady wall he always yearns to be, your ever-eager guard dog, even in your sleep. he’d like to jump into your dreams, make sure they treat you kindly — but he can’t. 

so this will have to do.

with a sigh, his lashes flutter shut. eyes drooping, every muscle in his body beginning to relax, sink into the mattress below. you’re safe, and shoko’s safe. that’s enough to put his heart deliriously at ease.

with the dark blue shade of the almost-morning sky bleeding in through the window’s glass, the city fast asleep beyond it — suguru closes his eyes. he whispers, breathes a silent prayer into the top of your head. he hopes you can still hear it, that it can bring you both solace, that his wish will come true.

”sweet dreams, my angels.”

(that’s all he could ask for.)

[wolfish-trickster]

Don't make me choose

Gojo x fem!reader

Part 2

Word count: 1.4K

Summary: it's been some time since you've started dating the infamous Satoru Gojo. But lately you feel more like the two of you are just cuddle/fuck buddies and not a real couple. You make him choose his priorities which is something the strongest doesn't like.

Warnings: bad grammar (possibly), typos, angst, very little comfort

When Gojo Satoru first asked you out you couldn't be happier. The first time he caught your eye was when he zoomed past you together with Geto on one bike. You got so startled you fell to the ground and scratched your knee. You thought at first that they will just leave you there and probably laugh at you later at a pub, talking to their friends how they knocked over a clumsy girl in a park. What completely shocked you was Gojo running up to you with Geto pushing their bike behind him asking you if you were okay and if you need any help.

The rest is history.

Now, three years later, things have been going well. Mostly.

You had the ultimate boyfriend experience. Nice dates, wholesome anniversaries, moving in together, having fun. You did everything in your power to not get boring, for him to not get bored. You cooked, cleaned, asked him how his day was, acted silly with him even when you were exhausted after a long day.

So why? Why was he spending more and more of his free time away from you?

It started out small. The first time you started noticing was like a month ago. As soon as he came home he told you he's going to the pub with Geto and Nanami. You told him to have fun of course, not wanting to seem like that girlfriend that doesn't allow their boyfriends having fun without them. Then from one weekend it became every weekend. Both of you were busy during the week, the only time you had for yourself was during the night and weekend. It soon became just nights.

Even during the week it was "babe, i have a day off tomorrow i'm going to Geto's" or "sorry we have to move the date night to sometime else, Geto is sick and has no one to take care of him" and once even "babe, remember how you told me about this place you used to love as a child? I'm going there with Geto! What a coincidence, right?". The last one hurt the most. Honestly, the last one was also what made you start noticing these in the first place. Once you looked into the past and counted all the times Gojo chose to spend his free time with his best friend instead of you you nearly slapped yourself. It was too many times. How could've you been so blind?

All off days were for Geto. All special days were once again for Geto. Weekends, holidays, his and yours birthdays, all for Geto fucking Suguru.

You needed to have a talk with him.

If he comes back that is. Lately he started to have sleepovers with Geto. As if both of them were teenage girls. You did ask to join them but they always told you off to "not disturb their boy time".

Steps echo outside your apartment. The door unlocks. And in comes...

"Babe," comes the voice of your beloved white haired guy, "I'm home."

"I can hear that," came your answer. You prayed it didn't sound too agressive. Your stomach was full of nervous butterflies, making it even worse to come up with a decent way to start the talk.

While you were thinking he came from the entrance hall to the kitchen where you were sitting and kissed you on the crown of your head. "I wanted to ask, do we have plans next wendesday? Because Suguru said he'd-"

"Listen," you interrupted him before he could even finish, "can we talk?"

Gojo chuckled. "That's a very scary sentence."

"Why? Have something to hide?"

"Nope," he put his bag down and leaned his back against the wall, "I'm listening. What is it?"

You took a deep breath. Then another. "Don't you think you're spending a little too much time with Geto?"

His playful smile loosend into a neutral line. "Elaborate?"

"It's just... you've been with him so much lately and I miss being with you-"

"I'm with you all the damn time. Every single night we-"

"Can't you let me finish?!" you said a little louder than intended but enough is enough. "Is that all you see me as? A fuck-buddy to warm your bed?"

Gojo groaned in annoyance. "No, of course not. But you're literally overreacting over here!"

"Overreacting? How? By wanting my boyfriend to be home on his off days? To spend some time with me and have fun like before?"

"Have fun times with you? What am I your babysitter?"

"Are you Geto's? All the fun stuff we used to do you're doing with him!"

"No, no darling," he stood up straight and walked towards you, backing you into the corner, "all the stuff we used to do I did with him first. He's my best friend! I've known him half my life! You have to have at least a bit of empathy to understand that."

Even cornered by a giant of a guy like him you didn't feel fear. The butterflies in your stomach died. What remained was just pain in your chest predicting what was about to come.

"Do you even see me as your girlfriend anymore, Gojo?"

"Oh, so we are on last name terms again?" he asked sarcastically and walked away to pour himself a cup of water.

"Answer me."

You watched him drink. Slowly. You've never seen a man drink this slow.

"Of course I do," he put the glass down, "what kind of a bullshit question is that?"

"It's how I feel Gojo. You're never here with me!"

"I am here now aren't I?" he poked his chest with his forefinger. "I'm here every single day and night, twentyfour fucking seven ever since we moved in together! Well excuse me I want to have some quality time with my best friend from time to time!"

You didn't want this. The yelling, the arguing. But it has to be done.

Now as a finishing touch. "Who do you value more?"

"Excuse me?" was all he said, too surprised to not hear you yell in return, just calmly asking your question.

"Who is more important to you? Your best friend or your girlfriend?"

Gojo covered his face with his palms and threw his head back. "You can't be serious right now," he groaned. "Suguru is my best friend. You can't just make me choose!"

"So I'm below a best friend. I might as well be called your friend with benefits..." you say more to yourself than him.

"There you go hating yourself again," he shook his head. "I get it, you want to hear me say how much you mean to me, how you're the most important thing in the world and other stuff I've told you a million times already and yet you still slip into this state. I might as well record myself saying those things so you could listen to them everytime you're attention starved," he pinched the bridge of his nose.

He sighed. "You know what? I'm tired of this. I still care about you, but you have to understand Suguru is-"

"I know," you interrupt his rant. "I'm tired too."

Gojo sighs. "Okay. Good. I knew we could talk this out," he said and picked up his sleepover bag again. "I hate arguing with you."

He walked past you to the bathroom to dump his pyjamas into dirty laundry. "Let's go to bed, okay?" he shouted from there.

After a quick shower he walked out the bathroom with nothing but sweatpants on and a towel around his neck.

However you weren't there. Not in the bedroom, nor living room, nor anywhere else. Confused Gojo walked around the apartment, looking for any signs where you might be hiding. Maybe you want to jumpscare him again to light up the tension?

Fine, two can play this game. He tiptoed into the bedroom to your massive closet and yanked it open.

You weren't there. But neither were your things. He quickly checked under the bed to see your beloved backpack missing.

Panicked he started calling out for you, thinking this was just a prank.

It wasn't.

You made him choose and without even realizing it he did.

[dollycxre]

req: Hi I really liked your fic with Athena and I would like the same fic with Hades if you don't mind. Thanks in advance!

yandere PJO! Hades x demigod! darling 💀🐺👑 - general hcs

I would like to start off by establishing that I truly and firmly believe that Hades would NEVER hurt you or torture you like some of the other gods and goddesses *agressive coughing* Athena, Ares and Hera *more aggresive coughing*

Well and truly he is too in love with you to even THINK about that

I mean have you seen how he reacted to Persephone hating him at the start of their relationship???

Anyways, I believe that the way you would meet is if you were a mother figure to Nico

Nico was immediately drawn to you, an older camper who had stayed back to help Chiron as a counsellor

You weren't afraid of him like most other councellors, rather, like Percy and Annabeth, you saw him as more of what he was; a child who just needed love and affection, a neglected and abandoned child who had to grow up too soon

He's rightfully suspicious and offstanding to you at first but if you act the correct way around him, he definitely takes to you

He starts opening up to you about different things, how he felt about his sister's death, how he felt about Jason's death and how he was struggling to see the point in anything

Comforting him at any time late in the night because he's anxious and depressed and being the one to introduce him to Will also helps :)

I think after he starts dating Will is when he takes you to introduce you to his dad because he finally feels like he has a mother

And that is when you, unfortunately, catch the attention of the Lord of the Dead himself

It's very very hard to gain Nico's trust, considering what he's been through, Hades knew you must have a heart of gold or atleast cared about Nico to have one around him

He finds you intriguing, the way you stand tall to him and only give him a stiff bow, how you roam about and talk to his ghoul servants with ease and of course, how well you're able to take care of and calm down Nico

So his inner stalker starts acting up and he starts sending his servants to spy on you, following you around in the darkness, watching you in the shadows, showing up in your dreams, resulting in them melting into nightmares

Waking up trembling and sweating because of the horrifying creatures and distant memories tormenting you :(

Hades hates tormenting (traumatizing) you but he can't really help it since he needs to know your routine to kidnap you

Actually, I don't know why I censored that, he does kidnap you

He basically sets his furies on your ass which sucks for you but he had no choice

Like imagine just having a quiet, comfortable time in your cabin, all alone with just a nice book and your favourite drink

And then screeching she-demons descend on you and literally drag you all the way to the underworld

Of course, you were having absolutely NONE of that, kicking and screaming

But he gets you eventually

As soon as they deposited you in your bedroom, the man himself comes to see you

Hades confesses to you immediately and tells you he loves you

You immediately remember the story of Persephone and shove him away in horror

From then on, it's just a never ending cycle of him trying to win you over with his wealth and confessions of undying love

Visiting your bedroom everyday with flowers from Persephone's garden

They're beautiful of course but that doesn't mean you'll forgive him

Chucking things from your incredibly expensive bedroom at him while he just stands there and stares at you sadly before leaving

Yelling at him and begging for him to take you back home but he just shakes his head no and apologizes to you over and over

This could go either of two ways, depending on the kind of person you are

1. You keep fighting against him until you finally give in, accepting your situation and deciding to make the most of it

2. You accept his love, thinking that it's better to have undying love than mortal love

He'll be delighted when you finally storm out of your room and go to his throne room, calmly informing him that you accept his proposal

He ADORES you

He's very clingy and he wants you in the throne room with him at all times

He's the kind of person to stare at you for hours and get completely distracted from his job

Like most of the times, you're gonna have to be the one to interview the souls who come to meet him because he's too busy gazing at you

He loves being romantic and will wake you up every day with flowers

He isn't very touchy-feely, he's more of a gift giver kind of person

I mean, he's the god of wealth for god's sake

He will literally get you ANYTHING you want

Even if it's sold out EVERYWHERE, he will personally commission Hephaestus to make it for you

Literally dream of anything, anything that you could possibly want and boom, the next morning, you wake up with it on your bedside table

All he wants in return is a little kiss every day and you telling him you love him

He's one of the gods who will let you roam the above world

He knows that he treats you so well, you'll come back to him anyways

He loves taking you on romantic dates to literally any place you want

Renting out the Eiffel tower just for the two of you is quite the common occurrence, it's his favourite place for a date <3

Complete gentleman, notices everything about you and will literally just chuck money at people, gods, ghosts and monsters alike to make whatever you want happen

Even the slightest show of affection from you is enough to make this poor god pass OUT

Like imagine picking a pretty flower from the above world for him and presenting it to him in the throne room??

He almost fainted of happiness and immediately ordered it to be planted in the royal garden so he could go and gaze at it for eternity

He's in the seventh heaven when you tell him you love him

For everyone wondering what's going on on the Persephone aspect of things, I think she'd be pretty damn pissed at first

Not only because he kidnapped ANOTHER girl

But also because that's her husband??

But unlike Minthe, he actually defends you and refuses to let her hurt you or turn you into a plant and crush you

Eventually, depending on your behaviour and attitude towards her, Persephone will either hate you but not do anything about it, learn to tolerate you OR she'll love you <3

Maybe a little too much....

I mean, you caught her husband's eye....so surely there's something about you that intrigues her too....

But that's a good thing!.....right?

Good luck to you if she ends up turning yandere for you because she is definitely not as soft-hearted and non-violent as Hades

Either way, living in the underworld turns out not to be so bad, especially when you can wander around in your choice of clothes all day, throw money around on things you want, living in a gigantic palace decorated to your design and basically do whatever you like in return for loving an actually really sweet god

Y'know, even if it IS completely filled with spirits and zombies

But that's just minor details in exchange for literally anything in the world....right?

Also, Cerberus ADORES you

Even if you have dog allergies, since he isn't technically a real dog, his 'fur' doesn't affect you

Will follow you around everywhere, begging for pets with all 6 of those cute puppy eyes

Also loves playing fetch :3

Once Nico found out that his father kidnapped you, his reaction was something along the lines of silent, shocked staring

"Nico...I can expla-"

"What. The. Fu-"

He gets used to it pretty fast, he's used to his father's weird, obsessive antics by now

And besides, it just means he gets to spend more time with you <3

I have this irrelevant hc that he likes dragging you with him to his father's throne room and giving him a forceful makeover, just to embarrass him

Hades puts up with it, mostly because he's a softie

In terms of punishments and such, the only time he'd really get pissed is if you tried cheating on him

Like he is so whipped for you that he is willing to let anything slide...except for disloyalty

Even then, the most he'll do is isolate you

He really can't keep himself away from you either

Mostly, he'll just send his minions to guard you a lot more

Which is just more inconvenient and annoying than anything mentally damaging

Overall, he's one of the tamest yanderes in terms of Greek gods

He really doesn't want to hurt you, he just wants you to stay with him forever

He's just clingy :)

[wolfiesmoon]

A valid excuse

Floyd x gn!reader

I have been consumed by tweel brainrot there is no turning back

Anyways here's something i thought of in 5 mins lfmaooo

You were awakened from your peaceful slumber by loud and oddly agressive knocking at the door to Ramshackle dorm.

What in the world? Who is trying to visit at this hour?

You groan, gently pushing Grim off you and slowly making your way to the door to find out who your late night visitor is.

"Finally..." Floyd mumbles when the door reveals your slouched figure. He makes a mental note of how you look in your sleepwear.

"...Floyd?" You mumble sleepily, hoping you didn't say the wrong twin's name. It's kind of hard to tell which one it is in the dark.

"You sure took your sweet time answering the door, Shrimpy." He invited himself in, casually walking past you into the lounge . Yup, it's definitely Floyd.

"Why are you here?" You yawned.

He squeezed you really hard all of a sudden, which woke you up almost instantly. You felt your bones cracking, you swear. Way more effective than an alarm clock. Or Grim.

"I had a nightmare... Can I sleep in your bed?" He pouted at you almost comically.

"That's why you came banging on my door at 2 AM?" You raised a brow at him, slightly annoyed. And besides, Floyd wasn't even your boyfriend or anything. He's just that one guy who gets really excited when he sees you for some reason. Why is he coming to you with this overly childish request? Jade works just fine.

His pout increased and he squeezed you even harder. As a warning, no doubt.

Seems there's no way out of this...

"Okay, okay- Fine-" you sounded strained due to your innability to breathe. You kinda don't want to die because of Floyd's squeezing, though it would certainly be a unique way to go.

"Yay~" he let go of you, prancing over to your bedroom like an excited child.

You followed behind him, worried that he might throw Grim out the window to make space for himself. If there's one thing you know about Floyd, it's that he's unpredictable. Not that that's a bad thing, you just don't want to end up with catlike casualty tonight.

"Ehhhh, why is Sealie all cuddled up on your bed?" he sounded offended, like someone just took his well deserved space.

"...He always is." you smile to yourself, thinking of how Grim is actually kinda like a real cat when he's all curled up by your side. You always feel the urge to pet him when he's like that.

Floyd takes a step forward (to "remove" Grim, no doubt) but you quickly pick up Grim and place him down on the rocking chair to prevent a premature death. Grim so owes you for this later.

"Here, the bed's all yours." you point to it somewhat nervously, watching his expression soften. I mean, were you seriously just going to let him sleep with you? You're honestly so tired you don't even care anymore.

He flops down on the bed unceremoniously, waiting for you to join him. As soon as you do, he hugs you tightly. "My dream was soooo bad... It was just horrible..." he mumbled into you with an overly dramatic undertone.

You still have no idea if the nightmare was just an excuse or if he actually had one. Either way, he is squeezing you right now and seems quite satisfied. You let your eyes slip closed.

"Wanna tell me what it was about?" you whisper.

"Later... I feel like squishing you forever for now..." he swung one of his lanky legs over you, sighing happily.

"You know Azul will get mad at you if you squish me forever, right? Cuz you won't show up to work..." you surrender yourself into his embrace fully, noting how smooth his arms are.

"I don't really care, to be honest...."

You suddenly felt a kiss on your cheek and you jolted slightly. Did Floyd just kiss you?

No, no. That was definitely just your imagination. You're half asleep, after all.

it's late at night as i'm proofreading this and i just got a rook card when i wanted the vil one😭😭😭😭😭😭my unluckiness knows no bounds

[astrobiscuits]

Predicting your future children's personalities and gender using Childress (30117) persona chart

Kind of a part 2 of my last post

According to derivate astrology (only for Childress persona chart):

1st house - personality of 1st child

5th house - personality of 2nd child

10th house - personality of 3rd child

12th house - personality of last child (not related to derivate astrology, but still worth mentioning)

[Don't forget to check the ruling planets of the houses for more details about your future child!!]

Determining the gender of a child works the following way (not taking into consideration modern planets):

Zodiac signs with high likelihood of boys (or masculine girls): Aries, Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn

Zodiac signs with high likelihood of girls (or feminine boys): Taurus, Cancer, Libra, Pisces

Zodiac signs with high likelihood of androgynous child: Gemini (50%-50%), Virgo (leaning into feminine), Aquarius (leaning into masculine)

We are going to use 2 examples to further explain this method of predicting children

This is Meghan Markle's Childress persona chart

Her 1st house ruler is Saturn, which indicates that her first child is likely to be a boy. Saturn is retrograde in 9th house, which means that he's likely to implement old, abandoned customs of his family in his life (including returning to the Royal family). Additionally, Mars is on the cusp between 8th house and 9th house, which indicate themes of agression & selfishness to be strong in his personality. Meghan's firstborn is a boy named Archie, with Saturn conjuncting his MC and Sun conjuncting his ASC in his Natal Chart.

Her 5th house ruler is Mercury, which indicates that her second child is likely to have an androgynous personality. Mercury is situated in 5th house under the beams of Gemini Sun. This indicates that while her second child has the tendency to express itself as more masculine, it will be overshadowed by his older sibling, as this child's personality is quite weak and not as remarcable. Meghan's secondborn is a girl named Lilibet and she's a Gemini Sun and Aries Moon (so more masculine), but her Moon is in her 8th house, which is an uncomfortable position for the Moon, as it can't express itself that well. Her Moon is also conjuncting Chiron.

While both siblings seem to have a common ground (both of their ruling planets are in air signs), their planets don't aspect each other. They are similar, yet they likely won't have a close relationship. Meghan's firstborn has a stellium in 9th house (which is located in the upper half of the chart, traditionally ruled by the Sun), while her second born has only Mercury and Sun in 5th house (which are located in the lower half of the chart, traditionally ruled by the Moon). This means that Archie will likely lead a public life, full of intense events, while Lilibet will likely lead a private life, full of important events, but not as intense.

This is my mom's Childress persona chart

Her 1st house ruler is Mars, which indicates that her first child is likely to be a boy. Mars is located in 3rd house, conjuncting IC. This means that her firstborn is likely to attend a unique school or be interested in studying an unique subject, which will change the "bloodline" so to speak. I'm a Scorpio Sun, Aries Moon (so heavy masculine energy), and Uranus is one of my most dominant planets. My parents sent me to a school where all the subjects where taught in German, despite living in a completely different country (and a small town too!). When i was in high school, i discovered my passion for astrology. Neither of my parents are interested in astrology; i inherited this passion from my grandmother (Aquarius is traditionally ruled by Saturn, which is the planets of elders).

Her 5th house ruler is Jupiter (ruler of Pisces), which indicates that her second child is likely to be a girl. Jupiter is located in 11th house, conjuncting Saturn. This means that her secondborn is likely to have a black-and-white kinda personality. Sometimes they might overindulge when using technology, hanging out with friends or doing charity work/volunteering, other times they might abstain from it. My younger sibling is a boy, but he has a Pisces stellium in 12th house (Uranus is also part of his stellium). He's been playing video games for hours on end since he was very young and he still does it even now (Saturn indicates longevity too). He loves new technologies, but also old ones.

While Mars and Saturn are in both air signs and air houses, they are trining each other too. This means that me and my sibling are very similar, while we also have a close relationship (which is true). Saturn person is more likely to be the glue in this connection, while Mars person is more likely to mind their own business, but they will pay attention to Saturn person when they seek him out. My brother initiates convos with me waay more often than i do with him, but i love listening to him. When i initiate convos with him, it's more on a whim.

[twost3ps]

Since ya doing au and made Emily Michael and Adam's daughter what about an au where Charlie is Lucifer and Adam's daughter just curious how that would come out of your artistic mind. Love ur art is PEAK bro

AWWW thank you so much!!!! AUSGEHYSGEUSGSUWBSBS

But totes I’ve had thought of this b4. Thank you for giving this prompt so I had an excuse to draw and write it out!!!

An au where Adam and Lucifer are Charlie’s dad… umm well there are a couple of ways this could go….

But the first that comes to mind is the one where Adam falls with Lucifer and they have Charlie. Idk if either Lucifer seahorses it and has the baby or if Adam is the one that carries. Idk first man sure, but yk maybe god was like: hey idk what genitals to slap on this guy so let’s do both and gave him both. When Lilith’s gender was determined, it was a flip of a coin. Adam could have just been the mother if it landed on the other side lol. Or maybe if he falls, god strips him of his title as a man, like Lilith, and swaps his genitals. So basically intersex Adam.

Either way, silly girl Charlie, here ya go! (I don't draw her enough)

Even as Adam's kid, I don't actually think Charlie changes all that much. Personality wise, at least. She is very much like her dad lucifur- a silly lovable dreamer- but some of Adam still leaks through, obviously. She's definitely a mommy's girl, and in this case, I'd like to think Adam is the mom figure. So instead of taking liliths more regal and more elegant choices of fashion and way of goinh, she takes on more of a punk and grunge look with a mix of her original style and a bit more agression.

For her looks I think she'd have dirty blonde hair and it would be short (it's my preference, lol), and her clothes are a bit more... punk? She dresses much more losely imo , def because of Adam. She keeps her horns out for the fun of it and her emo face still kinda stays with her, especially after Adam praising her for her look when she was in that phase. She does some sick eyeliner and eyshadow. She HAS to play an instrument so she knows the bass and strangly enough the keytar. I also think she's a bit chubbier because she maybe shared her dad's appetite idk.

But overall, she is still a sweet girl with a dream to help sinners. She's just way more assertive and quick tempered.

I won't lie, I got inspired by one of my friends' relationships with her dad and both lovingly insult each other to death. They talk about how much they "hate" eachother, but everyone clearly understands that both would die for one another for sure, especially Adam.

He may say something like. "Oh Charlie? Yeah if it were up to me I'd sell her for a new guitar" right infront of her but she's laughing so hard as Adam holds her close in a side hug because she knows he's joking.

Idk how to explain it but ifkyk, they lovingly talk bad about eachother but somehow it makes you understand that they really do love eachother as parent and child.

As for Adam and Lucifurs relationship, I genuinely dunno. I kinda want them to be a bit strained because even after the fall, Adam is still loyal to heaven. He's not lilith, who wants freedom - Adam likes security, and even if rule under heaven is restrictive, atleast hes safe. Charlie, to Adam, is one of the only good things that ever came out of the fall, and he would fall again and again just so she could be his. Like Lilith, Charlie is mainly parented by Adam, but it's because Charlie was the only shining light Adam had down in hell. Overtime Adam and Lucifur possibly heal and truly get together, but when Charlie was really young, they were not an item at all.

Then there are other options of Charlie being Lucifur and Adam's baby-

Charlie is born under an angel Adam and fallen lucifur and Adam decides to take Charlie and raise her in heaven

Adam is in no way related to Charlie, but one way or meets her and kinda just adopts her. Lucifur doesn't know why but Adam stakes claim ig

There are more potential ones but I'm not really a writer or an idea maker lol. IM NOT THAT CREATINVE SJVDEHBSBS But I think that this is just a great concept lolol a bit harder to work with than the secret royal family stuff but still fun to think about overall

I might come back to this one day o3o

[liberumalas]

I LOVE YOUR DRAWINGS/ ART STYLE ALASTOR AS A CHILD IS SO CUTE !!!

What do you think baby and child Alastor was like growing up like personality and how did he get along with others and what he was like at school? Do you think he was a hard to handle baby or one of those quiet ones (fully conscious baby lol 😭)

ATTENTION, THESE ARE ALL HEADCANNONS. I'll refer back to canon when there is information but we don't know much of Alastors early life. Or of anything about him at all that much. This is gonna be a loooong one...

I also think, I'll colour code a little; orange is what is actually canon and blue is the stuff that i think ive read somewhere but might not be true or might become outdated.

I. Alastor and mental health

I think it is very likely that Alastor has ASPD (antisocial personality disorder) othervise known as psychopathy. Now people with this disorder are not inherently evil, but I'd think their upbringing takes a lot more care, attention and knowledge than the avarege person because people with aspd don't experience empathy, and regret after hurting someone or at least these feelings are very limited. They are also very likely to disregard rules, be reckless, agressive, impulsive, decietful, etc...

Alastors childhood propably stems from the 1900s to the early 1920s roughly (we don't know when he was born, only that he died in 1933 and was in his 30s-40s). Psychology was not as advanced as it is today, and it was especially propably unavailable for a child of colour.

So I think that Alastors behavior was very poorly managed throughout his childhood, leading to him becoming a not very good person (a serial killer).

II. School life

In school he'd act violent toward classmates he didn't favor. It's been said that he has a messed up moral code, but a moral code still, so I'd imagine that means either getting revenge for those who were wronged in some way and could not protect themselves (and Alastor actually liked them) or protecting those who cannot protect themselves. Either way, these likely ended up in Alastor beating another boy up, putting glass shards in his sandwich or ruining his status or reputation in some way. In fights he'd be creative and use his surroundings, other than mindless punching.

Towards his friends (whom were very likely all girls) he'd act very polite, charming and even kind. He'd enjoy spending time with them instead of other young boys who were a lot less mature and sometimes straight up repulsive and barbaric. Him and his friends would hang out, gossip, dance, etc, he was always just *one of the girls* lol. This is also where I'd imagine the moral code comes in, because of early 1900s mentality and sexism and boys bothering girls and Alastor standing up for them and those were very different times and Alastor just seems like a very uniqe case.

So he'd get into trouble all. The. Time. His poor mother is just tired and at a loss at this point. Nothing makes this kid behave better, there is no use of punishing him, she (or his father) can beat him (reminder that those were different times), talk to him, talk to teachers, punish him with chores and work, nothing works. It is a miracle he wasn't arrested yet.

III. General behavior and perception

I think he was always very confident, charismatic and passive agressive rather than outright violent (which he reserved for those he particularly hated and actually could fight or trick). He was polite usually (his mother thought him well in that regard, and being polite is very useful anyways) and very intelligent and tactical. People rarely caught onto his mischief and the targets would usually be too afraid to speak out. Usually. Or just be annoyed and if the target was an adult, hooo boy.

I think the people who knew him would see him as a troublemaker but someone who would have great potential if he wasn't such an annoying pain in the ass. He is theatrical, dramatic at times, they just really didn't know what to make of this kid. People who didn't know him would see him as a good kid, who has a strange sparkle in his eyes that could be something harmless and innocent or something that is very worrysome. Family thought he was strange, worrying, but outside that, helpful and a sweet kid. Other than the beating classmates up.

IV. Family stuff. God help me...

So... this is the part where the source of angst for every Alastor fanfiction comes from.

-About his mother:

She propably ended up in Heaven so thats the only indicator we have of her personality.

His mother was a caring, sweet as candied apple but a very troubled person. Troubled because of her husband, her son and society. But she was also very firm and and had a spine, and she was a great source of inspiration for Alastor. He loved her very much (in his own way) and enjoyed being around her.

(fyi we don't actually know, which of Alastors parents was creole and which one was white or smth else. All we know is that he himself is mixed creole.)

Alastor loved his mother's cooking and they'd both like jazz and swing and all these types of fun. She encoureged him throughout his life, though she likely didn't know about his serial killer hobby later in life. Or if she did, than that was a very complicated situation.

And oh boy, oh, man, the father of the year.

-Dear old Dad.

I don't think that for Alastor to have a valid reason to hate him (and by extension almost all men) his father had to be phisically abusive, even though beating or hitting your child was common practice to punish them. What I mean is he didn't have to throw bottles at his son's head, beat him to a bloody pulp or strangle him and his mother for Alastor to hate his guts. I think that him being pathetic and disgusting in Alastor's eyes is very much enough and maybe makes even more sense. Hear me out.

Think about the stereotypical man. The ones women oh so hate. He drinks, he smokes so much, you can't see him, he cheats and lies and he is just a mean little bitch.

(I'm a man myself, don't kill me, I wrote that from the perspective of Alastor Manhater.)

And if his father did these things that were (are somewhat still unfortunately) not at all uncommon among other men, Alastor's hatred of this can be easily extended to every man who cannot prove otherwise. Maybe even those who can or could.

So I think that while it is possible that dear ol' Dad was horribly violent towards his family, it would be a lot less clichè and maybe even make more sense for him to be a pathetic cheater who drinks and smokes and is just unpleasant to be around.

Alastor would fucking hate his guts. His father is rude to his mother and to him, he is useless, he is pathetic, he is spending the hard earned money on cigarettes, alcohol and brothels. He lies, he's mean, he's just a horrible person.

Alastor would never want to be like him, though ironically some traits he can't help but learn from him. Lying, being mean to others, he'd also as an adult would occaisionally smoke.

I also think that his relationship with his gender is not the best, in a sense that he doesn't like being a boy, because all boys are douchebags and he doesn't want to be a douchebag. Not like his father anyway.

Okay, closing words.

First of all, I'm not a native english speaker and i wrote this very very late.

Second of all, this is, again all just my idea of what Alastors early life might have looked like. Season 2 is coming soon and it was said that Alastors backstory would be important and would be explored, although that could mean his arrival and early times in Hell as well, we'll have to see.

If you yourself have any other ideas or thoughts or you think I got something wrong, comment it, I'd love to read other fans' thoughts!

Anyways, thank you for reading this far! I'd love to write in a similar format about Alastor's time as an adult or a mixed person working in radio in the late 1920s to early 1930s, so let me know, if that interests you! I'll propably do better research for that, in this one most of the history knowledge is from memory, so if ive made any errors, again, let me know.

Alright, goodbye now.

[flowerandblood]

Glass Cuts Deepest (14) (End)

[ professor! • Aemond x student! • female ]

[ warnings: sex content, oral sex, smut, fluff, angst, trauma, panic attack, mention of rape, indecent student-teacher relationship ]

[ description: A female painting student is finally able to choose the specialisation she has dreamt of - stained glass. She wants to become a student of the best specialist in this field, but he, for some reason, refuses to accept female students into his workshop. She finds out that he once slapped a female student of one of the other professors. Nevertheless, she makes an attempt to find out what happened then and to convince him to teach her. Slow burn, sexual tension, dark, agressive Aemond, great childhood traumas. ]

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Previous chapters: Masterlist

_____

After everything that had happened between them, he needed a moment to put it all together in his head, to realise that he had crossed a line, that from now on he was not a slave to his trauma. He got close to the girl he desired, experienced fulfilment with her, and although he wanted more he knew this was a good start.

For the next few nights, they only kissed and cuddled, however, her constant presence calmed him, when he fell asleep snuggled into her, no more nightmares woke him up. Finally, he slept peacefully through the nights, realising with relief that the worst was behind him.

Or so he thought.

And then he saw her.

She almost bumped into him running out of his workshop, apparently trying to escape before she met him, but it was too late − he stood in front of her and just froze, her scent, the same one he had smelt then filled his lungs again, and he felt small again, felt like a nobody.

Her look of terror and uncertainty, her pale face told him at once that she remembered that night perfectly − she passed him quickly, and he felt as if some circuit in his brain had stopped working, his heart pounding like mad.

He could see her, he could feel her, he could feel her everywhere, as if she had coated him with her essence, like a sickening slime that he couldn't wash away.

Then he felt the same twitch in his stomach and he understood, understood that his body reacted this way because when she did this to him it was the fact that he vomited that saved him.

His body identified this reflex as protection, wanting to disgust him in the eyes of the other in case of danger, to deprive anyone of desire towards him.

Everything that was happening to him, everything he was experiencing, everything he couldn't cope with, only came from the fact that he was perpetually afraid that someone would touch him again.

He literally ran into the bathroom, barely managing to kneel in front of the toilet before he vomited, feeling the tremors and the cold sweat on the back of his neck, the convulsions that shook his body and the emptiness in his mind made him realise that this was the strongest panic attack he had experienced in his life since he was raped.

He was scared, scared like a child and he thought with shame that he wished he was in his mother's arms, that this time again no one would save him, no one would come.

He shuddered when he heard her desperate voice.

"Professor."

He vomited again, feeling the spasm in his stomach, his trembling hand leaning against the cold tiled wall, trying not to fall over, feeling the hum in his head and the loud pounding of his heart. He heard her knocking firmly on his cabin door, breathing fast.

"Please. Please, please, open." He heard her pleading, heartbroken voice, but he was unable to rise.

He needed her, wanted her to come inside, to embrace him, to stroke him, to whisper that all was well, that she was there for him, but he was unable to move, trembling all over.

"Is it her? Just tell me, is it her?"

He squeezed his eyes shut and cried out loudly, lowering his head, covering his face with his hand, despairing that yes, yes, yes, it was her, his nightmare, his trauma, his grief, the reason for his unintentional suffering, his depravity, his aggression, everything he didn't want to be.

He drew in a loud breath when he heard her suddenly leave, turning over his shoulder, wiping his mouth with his hand, feeling a tightness in his throat.

"Wright?" He asked in a low, trembling voice, but only emptiness, nothingness, answered him.

She had left.

Why?

Why now, when he needed her?

He began to weep like a child, hiding his face between his knees, distraught, lonely, lost, not understanding how she could just leave him like that, unable to calm himself, knowing that only her touch, only her words would be able to soothe him, only her scent, but she was gone, she was gone, gone, gone, gone like his mother.

And then suddenly it dawned on him.

He got up quickly with a pounding heart, opening the door, turning on the tap quickly, rinsing his mouth and washing his face. He turned off the water and ran out of the bathroom, peering into the workshop and noticed to his horror that she was not there.

Cregan wanted to approach him, apparently expressing his displeasure at this unannounced visit from strangers, but he didn't have time for that.

"Not now." He said lowly and moved on, fearing what his imagination was telling him.

She followed her.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

What for? Who asked her to do this? What was she trying to prove to herself?

Alys would find out they had something in common and destroy them.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

FUCK!

His thoughts were a conglomeration of chaos, horror, anger and madness, the students scattered to the side seeing the expression on his face as he left the building.

And then he spotted them. They were standing by her car.

He thought he was going to kill them.

That he would strangle them both with his own hands.

After a moment Wright turned and moved towards the entrance, her head lowered, she was pale. He pressed his lips together, reaching out to meet her, her surprised, terrified look betraying how afraid she was of his reaction, that she knew she had done something she shouldn't have, that she had crossed a line.

He gripped her arm tightly, squeezing her skin painfully hard.

"What have you done?" He asked low, coldly, threateningly, feeling that he could really do something to her now, feeling like he was more feral animal than human. She, however, answered nothing, merely shook her head, her lips trembling, her brow arching in pain.

He knew that look.

Always this crying.

"Who the fuck let you interfere? Hm?" He growled menacingly, wanting at last to squeeze any answer out of her, a reason why she felt she had the right to do so.

"Don't touch me." She mumbled, struggling to push him away and simply ran off, locking herself in the toilet.

Terrified students stood around them, whispering amongst themselves, but he thought nothing of it, looking over his shoulder at the door behind which she had disappeared.

Don't touch me.

He felt a tightness in his throat and a cold sweat on the back of his neck at the thought that she didn't want him anymore.

He loved her and she didn't want him to touch her.

He felt his anger turn into something else, overflowing in his heart into passionate grief and despair, a longing for her and for her touch, a need to feel her, only her.

He was a nobody and he knew it, but still he hoped he had a chance, that he had changed.

He moved to follow her inside, closing the door behind him, hearing her loud, anxious breathing in one of the cabins. He approached her and knelt down, seeing the outline of her shoes and her trousers, her hands hugging her knees. He could feel his heart pounding hard, how desperate he was.

"I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry." He muttered helplessly, not recognising himself or his voice, sounding more like a boy than a man, a child who begged for attention, for comfort, for not to be rejected, to be given another chance, that he would be better, that he would be good now.

"− the sight of her − I − and you talking to her − I was furious − I need you − please −" He choked out in a trembling, breaking voice, thinking only of the fact that he had to touch her, touch her, touch her, slipping his hand under the door, and she squeezed it immediately, her soft fingers clenched painfully tight on his skin.

He felt relief, felt a pulsing in his trousers, felt that he wanted her, that he needed her, immediately, now.

He heard her draw in a loud breath, her voice trembling in the air as she spoke her words, terrified.

"− I'm sorry − I wanted to protect you − not to be that person who doesn't react − but I guess I just ruined everything − I shouldn't have done that, I'm so sorry −" She sobbed, and he clenched his eyelids, squeezing her hand tighter and crying himself, feeling some kind of relief.

She had done this for him.

I wanted to protect you.

I wanted to react.

Then, in his room, no one helped him.

But she followed her out, bravely trying to show him that she stood behind him, that she would not let this woman get close to him ever again.

He wanted to say something, to show understanding, that he appreciated it, but he heard suddenly, horrified, that someone had entered and realised that he had just knelt in the women's toilet. He was relieved when he heard Wright quickly open the door to her cubicle and let him enter, closing it behind him.

He looked at her for a moment − her soft face swollen with tears, her large, warm eyes filled with affection, concern and regret, her pink lips parted slightly in an accelerated breath. They were both quiet, listening as the girl who had come inside washed her hands, but his thoughts were focused only on her and what he wanted to do to her.

He wanted to feel her.

As much as possible.

When they heard the sound of the door opening and closing he approached her with a pounding heart, turning her lightly with her back to him, pressing her against the cold tiles, sliding his hands down to her trousers, undoing her button and zipper, feeling how hard his heart was pounding.

"Slide them down along with your panties." He instructed her in a low, hoarse voice with a kind of certainty and determination that shocked him himself.

He was not afraid.

He saw no scenes in his mind, no memories, nothing.

His mind circled as if looped around only one thought.

He had to feel her.

Now.

As deeply as possible.

He watched with slightly parted lips as she obeyed his command, trembling all over, and he undid the belt of his trousers.

"Lean forward." He said matter-of-factly and she obeyed his command without a word, her hands and cheek pressed against the cold tiles, her lips slightly parted.

He unzipped his trousers and lowered his boxers slightly, looking at her face, not at her buttocks or what was between them, not wanting to give this a purely sexual, fleshly, perverse overtone.

No.

He just wanted to feel her.

With his whole self.

"− I need it − okay? − fuckin' need it −" He muttered with some kind of embarrassment, knowing that this wasn't how it should go, but he couldn't help himself, he needed her, he needed her this way, he needed solace and relief, a refuge deep inside her.

That was why he clenched his hand on her hip holding her in place, the other directing his swollen, hard manhood to her wet entrance, feeling how hot she was, how much she wanted him.

He felt her body, her tight, fleshy walls resisting him as he began to push its tip between her slit − they both sighed low, trying to muffle the louder sounds, trembling and panting.

"− oh fuck −" He moaned low, surprised at how intimate and private it felt, how exposed and vulnerable he felt in front of her, suspecting that she felt exactly the same way. He could hear only the loud beating of his own heart, only his own breathing, no thoughts, no memories.

Now he was the one taking what he wanted.

At the thought of it, he grasped her hips in his hands and spread her thighs the way a fruit opens, seeing how sticky she was with her juices − he thought that she really was his Eve, that she was made for him to taste her in every way possible.

He slid deeper into her, wanting to experience her warmth and she mewled loudly, surprised that they were really doing this, that he had no intention of withdrawing.

He knew that she had given him the initiative completely, that he needed to do it the way he wanted, that only then would they both finally experience what they craved. He hushed her, listening with a pounding heart to hear if by any chance someone had come inside.

"− quiet − want to get caught? − hm? −" He asked lowly, sliding fully into her with a sigh of relief, finally feeling safe, her body wonderfully squeezing him from all sides and pulsing against him, making him feel pleasure even without any movement.

The sensation was something completely different from what he had experienced then; she was tight, hot and sticky, inviting, desired, his.

Being inside her seemed strangely natural to him.

They both started moaning and panting when, with involuntary, subconscious movements, he began to rock his hips, with sure, rough thrusts pushing her tight insides apart, as if he wanted to make her feel that this was where he belonged, deep inside her.

He conquered her, stretching her, fitting her to him, feeling waves of pleasure surge through his body.

"− oh, yes −" He heard her quiet sigh and felt his cock pulsate hard at the thought that he wasn't like her, he wasn't like Alys, that he wasn't taking her against her will, that she desired him and wanted to feel him deep inside her.

That thought made him start to slam into her faster and more confidently, taking more and more pleasure from this close-up, just thinking about the fact that this was really happening, that he was doing this, that he was fucking the girl he loved, whom he desired.

"− do you like it? − like it when your professor fucks you good? −" He hissed out, tightening his fingers on the soft skin of her hips, wanting to hear more of her sweet sounds, more of her helplessness, a sign of how utterly vulnerable she was against him, with deep, brutal thrusts opening the way to his own fulfilment inside her.

"− yes −" She mumbled with difficulty. He involuntarily grinned hearing that she was barely able to get the words out − he slid his hand between her thighs, his fingers easily finding her puffy little clit, with sure, circular motions rubbing her folds with the quiet click of her moisture. He heard her squirm loudly, a shudder went through her whole body.

"− yes, what? −" He growled, wanting to force her to give him what he wanted. He knew she was only teasing him and it turned him on even more, the pounds of his hips into her weeping cunt seeming more natural to him than breathing, as if taking her, fucking her, was written into his very being.

"− yes, Professor −" She gasped out, and he groaned low, feeling her words in his cock, knowing that just a few more pushes and he would come, do what he thought was impossible for him.

He was panting loudly along with her, feeling how from the motions of his hand around her bud her insides clenched against him, sucking him inside, her hot, wet muscles refusing to let him go, their naked bodies slapping against each other quickly with a sticky clicks.

"− that's what Adam did to Eve − his sin − then, under the Tree of Knowledge − he fucked her −" He breathed out into her ear as he leaned over her, as if he had experienced a daze, as if it was obvious that the first man had discovered pleasure in the first woman, that it was his destiny to have to unite with her, to feel her, to take her for himself.

He heard her struggling to stifle a moan of delight at his words, her fingers clenched tightly on the cold tiles, her eyes closed, her lips parted in a sweet, quiet sob, so wonderfully innocent. He felt like a man in paradise who discovers for the first time the meaning of pleasure, the meaning of the forbidden fruit, that which was never meant to be his.

In that moment they were both nothing more than a panting, hot, sticky mess chasing their fulfilment, her rough, slick core clenched tightly against him driving him mad, giving him sensations more wonderful than he had ever been able to give himself with his own hand.

He thought she was made to take him in, to have him inside her.

"− made to warm my cock −" He cooed tenderly with some kind of awe and affection, feeling those wonderful spasms in his lower abdomen and parted his lips feeling that it was coming.

"− fuck − m' gonna cum − where I −" He mumbled out horrified, realising that there was such a thing as pregnancy, awareness and responsibility.

"− inside me − m' takin pills − please −" She mewled, and he breathed a sigh of relief, allowing himself to finally feel the wonderful relaxation and pleasure, simply coming deep inside her as if it was the most natural, ordinary thing in his life.

Stunned by the sensation, he didn't understand much of what was happening, moving mechanically inside her for a long moment, moaning embarrassingly loudly, able only to thank God that no one had entered the toilet at that moment.

"− God, yes − baby − oh, fuck −" He mumbled, feeling the relaxation, the pleasure, the fulfilment wonderfully rippling through his lower abdomen, calming him, silencing all the voices in his head, leaving only the emptiness in his mind that he so desperately needed.

He moaned low and gasped when he heard her sobbing, and her walls began to squeeze against his still hard cock in orgasm, her whole body trembling before him, his thighs all sticky from her moisture running down her legs.

He stared at the spot where they were joined, breathing unevenly, realizing at last what he had actually done, only now coming back to earth. He swallowed loudly and licked his lips feeling his mouth go dry, his heart starting to pound like mad.

He felt terror and euphoria at the same time, but he didn't panic because he couldn't really see or feel anything that reminded him of that state.

She was not naked, her body was still covered by her T-shirt, the only thing he could look at was where their bodies met. He could feel her insides with all of him, but it wasn't like her insides, back then − she was tighter than her, her warm muscles enveloping him on all sides, making him feel safe.

It wasn't she who took him, it was he who took her, he forced her body to surrender before him, he forced himself deep into her like an animal, taking what he wanted, stretching her with himself, filling her with his seed.

He swallowed loudly at the thought that this time he might have been the one to hurt someone and felt a shudder run through his whole body.

"− are you okay? −" He asked quietly in a trembling voice hearing that she was merely breathing with her eyes closed, afraid that she might be about to burst into loud sobs or pretend that nothing had happened so as not to aggravate his condition even though she herself felt bad.

He heard her mutter quietly, parting her eyelids as if he had awakened her from a half-sleep.

"− yes − and you? −" She asked softly, and he breathed a sigh of relief, leaning down, resting his forehead against the top of her head, pressing his nose into her coconut shampoo-scented hair.

He had become addicted to that smell and told her to only buy that shampoo now, he associated it with her so much.

The moment she walked into his office for the first time and stepped uninvited into his heart.

He pressed his lips together, ashamed that it felt good, that he felt safe and at peace at last, that here, in this cramped cubicle, being deep inside her, no one could hurt him.

"− I − fuck − it feels so good to be inside you − doesn't want to take him out −" He muttered in embarrassment, dreaming only of staying inside her for a while longer, of not returning to reality, to what awaited him outside the door.

"We can stay like this for a while longer if you want." She whispered, and he just leaned in and kissed her neck, trying to calm his breathing.

He swallowed loudly feeling that he wanted to tell her.

That he hadn't done it out of a pure, animalistic need to spill his seed in some woman.

It was something caused by a feeling that almost overwhelmed him, filling his chest with heat.

"I love you." He whispered softly into her ear and felt her tremble all over, her insides clenched tightly against his half-soft manhood. He licked his lower lip, feeling a cold sweat at the thought of what he should do.

"Will you come with me to the rector?"

The rector of the university greeted him coldly in his office, unhappy that anyone had paid him an unannounced visit, however Wright's presence at his side piqued his curiosity.

He knew that sooner or later one of the students who saw their aggressive exchange in the corridor would report to him that he was harassing a female student again, only making the whole affair worse.

He thought about all this for a long time, and even though he decided that he would only do it as a last resort, he felt that there was no going back, that it could only get worse.

"I came to give my resignation." He said as soon as the three of them sat down, Wright and he threw him quick, horrified glances.

"I am in a relationship with my student and I do not want to violate the good manners of the university in light of the events that have taken place here recently. I am submitting my resignation in person, I have also emailed it to you from my phone." He muttered lowly, letting the air out quietly, feeling his heart pounding hard.

The man seemed completely shocked − he shook his head, looking at him then at Wright.

"Is this some kind of unfunny joke?" He asked, but his cold, resolute gaze told him it was sadly not.

He was deadly serious.

"I want to end this amicably and leave without scandal." He said softly and glanced at his student, who covered her mouth with her trembling hand, looking at him with big eyes, tear after tear running down her rosy cheeks.

She didn't want him to do this.

But he was already tired.

He didn't have the strength to hide.

The man grunted, twisting in his chair.

"How long has this been going on?" He asked dryly, and he glanced at him with an indifferent expression on his face.

"We've been together for about a week." He replied truthfully. "It's a fresh case and I don't want it to affect my testimony in court."

The man gave him a stern, warning look. He pointed at him with his pen, which he held in his left hand.

"I can agree. But you will not say my name during the trial." He said coldly. He furrowed his brow, tightening his lips in fury.

"I'm supposed to protect you even though I've reported Jason's behaviour to you several times? They'll be asking me why I didn't say anything to the rector. They'll know someone is lying." He growled, unable to believe that his own boss, the head of the university had just blackmailed him.

"Say the word and everyone will know why you left. They'll find out how your student earned her place in your workshop." He said warningly, not taking his eyes off him, and he swallowed loudly feeling a squeeze in his heart.

He could hear Wright breathing loudly beside him, terrified, and he thought he couldn't do that to her.

"I won't mention you."

His students and Cregan took his decision with disbelief. They asked what had happened, why such a sudden decision.

He explained to them that he had long intended to open his own private studio, to operate on his own in a place where no one would judge him, and that he would be happy to invite them to work with him once they had graduated.

Cregan took it the worst − he took him aside and locked himself in the office with him, standing in front of him with his hands shoved in his pockets. He did not look at him, thoughtful, biting his lip.

"You and Wirght are together, aren't you? Is it because of that?" He asked lowly, glancing up at him, and he felt a tightening in his heart at the thought that he really had been his friend all these years, that he knew him like no one else. He nodded, not wanting to lie to him.

Cregan grunted, massaging his chin with his hand.

"I'm glad. She's a good girl. You both deserve to be happy." He said and held out his hand to him, which he shook gratefully.

"Thank you for everything."

It was the rector's decision that he would supervise them until the end of the semester so that they could hire someone to replace him from the new academic year, however, unofficially the workshop now belonged to Cregan and he was the one who would grade the students.

As a result, Wright was able to stay with them and although she cried loudly in his arms that evening, they were both relieved too.

"How do you feel? After what happened between us." She asked quietly, lifting her gaze, clearly wondering if he regretted what had happened. He swallowed quietly, considering her question.

"Fine, though I regret doing it this way. I think our first time should have been more tender and thoughtful, that I deprived something of myself and you. On the other hand, I don't know if I would have been able to break through if I had planned it. Because of what happened I wasn't thinking soberly and it happened…naturally. No less, I'm not sure it was a good thing. I feel that I took it out on you and used you." He whispered and kissed the top of her head, nuzzling his cheek into her hair, stroking her back steadily. He felt her snuggle into him tighter, the warmth of her body calming him.

"It was unexpected, but I needed it too. I think that although it may not have been ideal, it helped take away the tension at the thought of not knowing if we'd ever make it or break through. Now that it's behind us I feel like a big stone has fallen from my heart." She said quietly, and he hummed, playing with strands of her hair between his fingers.

"Yes. So do I."

He felt excited when he and Wright went to see the place he wanted to buy to set up his studio. It was located on the ground floor and looked like a small hall, there was plenty of space − with his eyes he could see where he would put the glass firing furnaces, where the tables would be and where the grinding machine, glass dividers, cabinets and chairs.

Wright approached him and he felt her slip her hand into his, which he squeezed gently, stroking her palm with his thumb.

"What do you think?" He asked low and heard her smile.

"I like it. It's bright and spacious here." She said lightly and he murmured under his breath, putting his arm around her and kissing her hair.

He felt warm at the thought that, above all, they were friends.

That he could talk to her about anything.

The interrogation in court by Jason Lannister's lawyer had been as nightmarish as he had guessed. Jason made sure to pull all the cards from his sleeve to discredit him as a credible witness.

"Is it true that you used physical violence against one of Professor Lannister's students?" He was asked by a young, deliciously confident man in an expensive suit lifting his chin as if he was sure he was going to destroy him, that he had him in a huff. Aemond looked at him impassively.

"Yes." He replied matter-of-factly. The man raised an eyebrow.

"Please explain to the High Court what you did, Professor." He said.

"I slapped her."

Several people in the room moved, exchanging words in whispers − he saw Lyanna's sad, guilt-filled face, a few benches away sat Wright, scared and devastated.

"How come you weren't expelled from the university after this incident?" He asked lightly, circling in front of him like a vulture, but he decided he wasn't falling for this cheap manipulation.

"That's not a question for me." He replied coolly. The lawyer bit his lip.

"You are testifying against my client today, however, you yourself were in a relationship with one of your female students. Isn't that right?" He continued, pulling out his strongest card. He pressed his lips together, feeling angry that he was dragging her into this, but he had expected this question too.

"We're still together and I resigned my position as soon as we decided it was something serious."

"And how long did you sleep together before you decided that it's something serious? Was it how your student secured a place in your workshop, where up to that point you had only accepted men?"

"Objection." He heard the prosecutor's voice on the other side, behind which the victims sat. "This is not relevant to the case."

"Of course it, after all…" The lawyer started, but the judge interrupted him.

"I sustain the objection, please ask the next question."

Lannister's lawyer swallowed loudly, furious.

"You said that you perceived some disturbing behaviour towards Professor Lannister's female students. Why did the you not report this anywhere?" He asked him ironically, and he thought he didn't give a shit.

Wright told him she wasn't afraid, that people could say whatever they wanted about her, as long as the people who allowed it all to happen were punished.

He thought that, for once, justice had to be done.

"I have reported these behaviours to the rector of our university many times, but he has done nothing about the matter. He and Professor Lannister are good friends from back in their university days." He said coolly and heard the commotion in the hall again, this time greater, and smiled with satisfaction to see from the look on Jason's lawyer's face that he did not suspect he would say that, that the rector must have assured them he would not mention him.

"Are you suggesting that the rector of your university knew about these situations and did nothing about it? Am I understanding correctly?"

"I am not suggesting that. I know that."

When it was all over Wright fell into his arms and they stood like that in the corridor for a while, his face pressed into her hair. All he could focus on was her pleasant scent and the warmth of her body, feeling his hands tremble, his heart pounding like crazy.

"You were so brave."

They had to wait until the next hearing for the court's verdict, but he knew he had done what he could. Afterwards, Lyanna approached him and thanked him for his efforts − they shook hands and he thought that he had finally atoned for what he had done, for his thoughtlessness.

They decided to loosen up that evening and just order a pizza, not having the strength to cook or clean up, tired after a day full of emotions, feeling at last that they had this difficult phase behind them.

From that moment when he took her in the toilet they had not had this kind of sex − he was satisfying her with his hand and she was satisfying him with her mouth.

He touched her more and more boldly, his hands slipping under her T-shirt to clench on her soft breasts or buttocks, sometimes pulling up her top just to suck and lick her hard, swollen nipples, covering them back immediately.

He couldn't break through to undress each other, to see her completely naked.

He wasn't sure he would be able to overcome the sight of her in his mind, he knew it would probably end in a panic attack.

He had an urge to feel her again, to be inside her again, but his fears were confirmed − when he thought soberly his mind was filled with unpleasant memories and he lost any desire.

He preferred not to do this to them and to provide a form of intimacy that did not evoke any of his negative thoughts.

Her mouth was able to do wonders − he trusted her completely and relaxed, allowing her to suck and lick his cock, all swollen with desire, her hand squeezing with a sure motion the part of his manhood that couldn't fit down her throat. He then looked at her adoringly, stroking her hair, breathing loudly with pleasure, coming wonderfully hard every time.

He decided one day to finally taste the forbidden fruit.

"Today, I'm the one who wants to kiss you there." He muttered one day, turning her on her back, meeting her surprised, embarrassed gaze.

"− I − you don't have to −" She mumbled, and he hummed under his breath, slipping the material of her panties down, her thighs covered from him only by the material of her Tshirt.

"− I know −" He said softly, sitting down between her thighs, gripping them in his hands, spreading them out as if he were tearing the flesh of a fruit.

He didn't think much about what he wanted to do, enthralled by this ungodly sight, her moisture flowing from her puffy slit down her buttocks to his bedding.

He sank his face into her hot flesh, hearing her loud moan as soon as the tip of his tongue ran over her throbbing, soft folds. He was breathless with pleasure, feeling the taste of her wetness spilling over his palate, something so forbidden.

"− oh, God −" She mumbled out, her hands involuntarily reaching into his hair in an attempt to push him away, his motions and caresses clearly driving her mad.

He tightened his hands on her plushy thighs, pressing his face harder against her hot flesh, his nose teasing the bud hidden between her folds.

"− fuck −" He exhaled, thrusting his tongue deep inside her, delighted at how intimate the sensation was, that he was literally eating her and what flowed from her body like sweet nectar, feeling her muscles clench around his tongue.

He ran his tip over her upper wall, right where he squeezed and massaged her with his fingers, bringing her to the state where she was just a babbling mess begging to be fulfilled.

"− yes − please, Professor, right there −" She exhaled delightedly, her body arching backwards like a string, loud, pathetic whines ripping out of her throat each time he rubbed the sweet, rough spot hidden in her flesh with his tongue.

He murmured lowly at her words, with the loud, slurping sound of her wetness rubbing his tongue against her walls, pleased that she had learned to address him properly in bed − he could feel that his cock was completely hard, pulsing painfully in his sweatpants.

"− that's it − that's my good girl − c'mon, your Professor wants you to cum on his face −" He cooed softly, and his words were apparently enough to make the tension in her lower abdomen peak, because he heard her loud, surprised cry, and then she came hard, her opening leaking from her moisture that ran down her thighs.

He licked up everything that flowed out of her as if he hadn't drunk anything for months, thirsty, delighted at how intimate and intense this sensation was.

He rose up on his knees, panting heavily along with her, wiping his face with his hand, looking at her with satisfaction − her eyes were closed, her lips parted in accelerated breathing, her hair spread around her head in disarray.

She was so beautiful.

He licked his lips, thinking about the fact that he felt like it.

That he wanted to cum inside her.

She opened her eyes when she heard the sound of his belt being unbuckled and swallowed loudly as she saw him slide his trousers and his boxers down a little, revealing what was underneath.

She thought he wanted her to take care of him now and tried to sit up, but he pushed her down onto the bed again.

"− no − keep your hands on either side of your head − just like that, good girl −" He praised her, brushing her lips tenderly, one hand having a tight grip on her wrist, the other guiding the fat head of his cock, already dripping from his precum to her hot, sticky entrance.

They both moaned as he pushed himself into her and slid in a little, his hand from his manhood instantly clenched on her other wrist giving him the reassurance that she would not touch him.

"− spread your thighs wide - yes, just like that, let me in −" He murmured in a trembling voice as he felt her legs open in front of him, allowing him to slide right into her with one smooth, steady thrust of his hips.

They both groaned, feeling how much they both throbbed, her insides oversensitive and slick after her orgasm.

He began to move inside her slowly, looking down at her beautiful face, her cheeks red from exertion, her swollen lips parted in sweet, innocent moans from which his heart squeezed. He intertwined the fingers of their hands, leaning over her, their tongues meeting each other in a sticky, wet dance.

"− just like that − so warm − so tight −" He exhaled, unable to stop himself, slamming his cock into her more violently, faster and deeper, his naked thighs slapping loudly against her buttocks, wet and sticky from her moisture, making just one big mess of them both.

"− please, Professor − please, cum inside me −" She mumbled into his mouth between one loud kiss and the next and he groaned low at her plea, so arousing and kinky, stemming only from her natural instinct.

"− have no fear − your Professor will fill you with his seed − such a dedicated student −" He muttered delightedly, speeding up his pace, clenching his teeth on her lower lip, feeling his fulfilment approaching, his cock stretching her tight muscles with each brutal thrust, tearing her flesh apart, her fingers clenched painfully tight on the skin of his hand.

"− please − please − please −" She begged and finally he sighed wearily, feeling his body refuse his obedience − he felt relief and heat surging through his body as he cum at last, his warm semen spilling deep inside her little cunt.

"− fuck yes − God − so fucking good −" He mumbled out delighted by the sensation, by the fact that they had really done it, this time the way it should be, the way he wanted it to always be.

Only when he calmed down did he let go of her wrists and lay down on top of her, still deep inside her.

"Can I embrace you?" She asked quietly in a trembling voice, afraid to move. He nodded and she immediately enveloped him in a hug, one of her hands in his hair, the other stroking his back.

He hummed with contentment when he felt her warm lips on his temple.

"I love you. I love you very, very much." She whispered and he opened his eyes as he lifted his head to look at her. They kissed tenderly and gently, his hand trailing down her cheek, his heart filled with nothing but peace, nothing but affection.

"My Eve."

______

This is how I end this series − probably one of the most important for me. The problem I discuss in it, the problem of dealing with the effects of rape or sexual harassment after many years, is something extremely difficult and tedious, with no simple answers or easy solutions. Will Aemond be able to look at Wright naked? Will he ever let her ride him? In my opinion − no. Some things are too difficult, too painful and you don't want to experience them again. However, would this be a reason for them to despair? I don't think so − that their joy will be an intimacy that is unique to them, their own, with their own rules that suit them, that make them feel safe and comfortable. I don't know if it's possible to heal from trauma − this is a question for experts, which I am not − but I know that it can be alleviated, with the help of a loved, understanding person, to push it so far to the back of the mind that it will finally stop interfering with everyday life, to regain balance.

So despite the fact that Aemond remains partially powerless about his own weaknesses and memories, I consider this ending to be very happy, because in my opinion he is like that too − before Wright he was unable to bear the thought that any woman could touch him in any way, and there comes a point where having sex with her is something pleasant, wanted and safe. Full of respect and love.

Thank you all for such a warm reception of this series.

_____

Aemond Taglist:

(bold means I couldn't tag you)

@its-actually-minicika @notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy

[enavstars]

Time for Aus :D

(Poster/ desings are not final)

Details:

Eclipse:

Takes place after crystallized, the ninja have recovered their powers and got back to the status quo.

Rumors start spreading on the Internet that Kai is actually useless because he's never defeated a supervillain on his own. Kai gets insecure about his worth to the rest of the team, acting more and more rashly out of the need to prove himself. However, everyone else thinks he's overreacting for attention, so in a mission with Lloyd and Nya, after trying too hard and messing up, they snap at him, thinking he just wants to regain his popularity disregarding people's safety.

Much later, Kai is injured on a solo mission and is saved by a mysterious woman (the villain) who secretly aims to manipulate him to turn against the ninja and Ninjago as a whole, taking advantage on his past hardships as a child and his current mixed feelings towards them. She uses dark magic (sort of like Clause) to take and amplify what little is left of the corruption from Chen's elements staff into a mask, to slowly make his own thoughts turn against them all, eroding him from inside out.

At first she convinces him to become a kind of vigilante, killing criminals who might have used him in the past under said mask as Akatora ("Red Tiger"), steadily growing more corrupted.

Once the ninja discover Akatora's true identity, they believe he's being forced to betray them and try to "save" him, which only angers Kai further for not realizing how badly they've treated him.

But when they realize that they're at fault, the team splits in two: Cole, Jay and Pixal can't see a way of saving Kai on time before he self-destructs and takes the entire city down with him; while Lloyd, Nya and Zane try to get him back at all costs.

At first, the villain didn't care which elemental master to use to get the ninja to destroy the city. But upon finding out more about Kai's past, she decides the Ninja are no good for him and wants to "save" him, to get him out of that toxic environment. She even confronts them more than once after taking him under her wing. However, later on she changes her mind...

I have many more details but this is all I'll say for now. I want to make it a realistic and morally grey season where neither the ninja nor Kai are the villain, because the ninja do love Kai, they just have to show it. Also Kai's corruption is going to be slow where you don't really know how of it is Kai's true intentions.

On the road:

This AU is set years after Kai and Nya's parent's disappearence. Despite still living at the blacksmith off Kai's odd jobs, the siblings are fairly neglected by the townspeople of Ignacia. After getting seriously beat up in a fight with some kids who had been passive-agressively bullying Kai for years, they go a little too far by almost killing him and threatening to do the same to Nya. Kai is forced to abandon the hope of their parents ever returning and leaves for Ninjago City with Nya, hoping for a better life.

After travelling for a while they stumble across Ronin. They somehow convince him to take them in for a while in his rudimentary shed and to teach Kai how to hunt and be more self-sufficient for the journey. In the meantime, Nya shows off her handiwork, making toys off scraps for Ronin to sell as thanks. When they decide to part ways, Ronin gives them a map, setting them on the right direction (he's no babysitter, but hey, he actually cared).

Days later, Nya finds a hungry and weary Lloyd along the way, lost after escaping Darkleys and looking for his uncle Wu. After some convincing from Nya, they agree to take him in and start travelling together, eventually bonding and becoming a found family.

The Au is mostly about their (fun) little adventures and Kai being an overstressed mom trying to keep their younger siblings alive and relatively out of trouble (but don't worry, he's actually enjoying it).

In the end, after having taken their shot in Ninjago, they find Wu and are taken in at the monastery. Yes, Wu is actually a good uncle here. They deserve it. Especially Kai.

Kai is 13, Nya 11 and Lloyd 9 (older than canon, no tomorrow's tea)

Feel free to ask any questions about the aus.

[antimony-medusa]

"There's just something about that guy that means I don't trust him"

Okay so, Phil has got the wrong read of Sunny. I'm gonna start off with that. He thinks they're a confident unconcerned material girl who is comfortable in the fact that their dad loves them, and potentially he thinks that they're a bit older than they are? Whereas people who have been able to see her one-on-one with Tubbo know that she's quite a bit more shy and insecure and young than she puts on! He's been taken in by the facade they're putting on, and I think that's part of why he is making jokes and comments that don't hit well. To understate how yesterday went. I think he botched the interaction with Sunny in the musuem and I hope someone tells him that, so he can apologize and fix that. And to be clear, as a phil viewer, this does interesting character work with Sunny as a sensitive child and I'm in favour of Sunnymin pursuing this line of lore. I'm staring with my little cube guy watching googles looking for the result when Phil realizes he scared a child, with great interest.

Because when you look at the musum one in context, my read is that was phil pivoting badly from an out of lore discussion into "oh hey I can explain something to sunny, who is confident and centred and knows her dad adores her" and then jokingly tried to explain the tallulah experience, and then we know from Sunny signs later that that went over like a ton of bricks. Mistake. However, when we're discussing it, I think it's fair to not have that understanding of the lore though, and to take a more pointed, villainous read of the lore! Go for it with discussing phil as cold and brusque to people who aren't his family, discuss Sunny feeling all alone in the musuem, fill your boots.

But guys, when you're discussing this as meta, I am seeing a lot of tags that are really really eager to paint Phil entirely and unequivocally as a villain and specifically cruel to children and cruel within the family, and there's an element to that that concerns me.

Phil, the cc, the guy, acts working class. He has an accent from a particular part of england that is traditionally working class, but he also has storytelling cadences and humour styles and attitudes towards challenges that are very familiar if you are from a working class or lower income community. I'm from an entirely different continuent, but the area I'm from is the sort of area that people make jokes about, and the whole way Phil acts as a CC is very familiar to me. (Note: even when he's talking about travel or stuff, he still has the "worked retail for a decade" mentality and pays attention to the staff and stuff and what they're doing, check out the brazil storytelling vod.)

And Phil's cubito, when he's not deliberately making a character like osmp crowfather, tends to have the mannerisms of someone who is working class. Even if you're not from a lower income area, I think most people can clock this, subconciously if nothing else. He swears a lot! He banters and roasts his friends and family but would absolutely do anything for them. He's informal in a very specific way.

Which is why when people pivot immediately into "why is he threatening and bullying children again" and "his wicked is showing", and "oh he's a evil stepfather/cruel stepmother" and "can we kill the child abusers now" I go Oh No.

Working class mannerisms are already stereotyped as especially prone to domestic abuse, among other ills. If you are going "oh something about him just always seemed like he would be cruel to children" maybe— push back on that one?

In the same way that during the election I was going "that may not be the play" about americans who didn't know what it was but something about Forever was just so angry and agressive (and they were talking from a perspective that viewed forever as a person of colour, regardless of how he's perceived at home), you might be talking from a perspective that encourages you to interpret Phil's behaviour with children as especially suspect. Potentially. Consider it.

And again, Phil biffed it in the musuem. That was a misstep that had me (autistic) going "oh no I see how you got there but you can all but see the sims negative relationship marker thing pop up". But I'd ask you at least to consider that it wasn't intentional cruelty, and that people can make social missteps before you jump immediately to interpreting their actions in the worst light possible.

[krilati]

You won't fall

When Tim was 13 he admired Robin, Batman and night Gotham. When Tim was 13 Robin died, Batman was filled with rage and Gotham was one step away from falling. When Tim was 13 he was a little bit paranoic(start running cross Gothams roof at noght and you will be too), so before he went to mr. Grayson he had worn a medical mask. When Tim was 13 he didn't wish to become Robin. So, he start looking for another way to help Batman and Gotham. Watching Batman at night, he came to the conclusion that Batman would not raise his hand to a child. When Tim was 13 he become Partridge, bird that can personify the truth of Christ and the wickedness of the devil, depending on the circumstances. He painted the walls of the city with bright colors. And if these walls belonged to houses where drugs were stored, or weapons, or where corrupt politicians or human traffickers lived… Well, it was just between him and Batman. It worked.

----------------------------------

When Tim was 15 he met Red Hood, and after couple of agressive discusion about how age affects who should be on the streets and who shouldn't, Tim realized that Hood is Jason Todd. Getting Batman to believe that Red Hood was his son was a more difficult task than it should have been. And after this task, Tim felt that he done. He was ready to say good bye to Partridge. And start a new chapter of his life in the boarding school that his parents had been advertising for so long. When Tim was 15 and he was watching Gotham News on TV, he realized that he didn't think everything through. "- It's been several months since Partridge showed up in the city. The Rouges have teamed up with the Batfam and are tearing the city apart. Three hours ago, Harley Quinn announced that if no one gives up the bird within two days, she will not hesitate to start looking in other cities. The Justice League discusses interfering with Gotham."

So what should he do now?

[guess-that-ship]

S11 Finals

Two Sides of the Same Coin

cw: major spoilers, suicidal ideation

Heads and Tails are the same person. Heads is the first, having been put in a situation they couldn't bear to be in anymore, and due to divine intervention is placed in a new body to guide Tails, who has been put in the same situation they were in. Tails does not know the real identity of Heads, and Heads intends to keep it that way. Due to their intense self-loathing, Heads passive-agressively lets it out at Tails, teasing him all the time, and yet they are the one person Tails can confide in about their situation, and both bond over it.

Eventually, everything is too much for Tails to bear, and they lash out at everyone, Heads included due to the secrets they've kept from him. The situation being all too familiar, in order to stop Tails from destroying themself like they did before, Heads, while never directly engaging with him, helps from a distance, guiding Tails towards his happy ending. And Heads hates it. It's not fair that fate wanted them to fail just so Tails could do what they couldn't.

When Tails returns, Heads explains everything about what happened to them, and forces Tails to fight them to see who gets to keep this happy ending. They hate Tails because they hate themself, and they hate themself because they hate Tails. But Tails doesn't feel the same way. When he wins, Heads just wants Tails to kill them and be done with it, but Tails refuses. It was thanks to them that Tails was able to get their happy ending, and it wouldn't be right to keep either of them from it. Heads fades away, their job done, but both promise to meet again.

The Moon and Stars

Star and Moon are childhood friends, always by eachothers side. Star is a quiet child, reserved and bookish, while Moon is loud and rough, often picking fights with the other kids. The two are inseparable, balancing eachothers worse tendencies while encouraging their best. During this time, Moon feels herself developing a crush on Star, but keeps it secret. However, as time goes on, circumstance pulls them apart, as Star's parents are killed in an accident and she is forced to leave her home. Now alone, Moon's more reckless tendencies are all she has left.

Life carries on for both of them. Star attunes herself to her magic potential, goes to college, and loses herself in her studies. Moon drops out of school, taking odd jobs and joining in criminal groups to get by. After many years, and by complete coincidence, Moon sees Star on TV one night, and all of those feelings from her childhood come rushing back. Moon drops everything and travels to where Star is, hoping to see her friend again.

When the two finally do reunite, Star is exhausted, both mentally and physically. While the sight of Moon brings her some comfort, the weight of the pressure she set upon herself is threatening to crush her completely. Moon gives her a chance to show her strength, offering to fight her. Moon wins the fight easily, with Star barely able to land a blow. Moon, deep in regret, tries to comfort her, only to find Star clutching a locket Moon had given her in their childhood. Moon, surprised she still had it, shows Star her own, which she had also kept all those years. Finally, the two decide to leave together, allowing themselves to rekindle the love and care they had for each other all those years ago.

[cheekyowldraws]

Series: Pokemon Horizons

Characters: Main plot: Murdock, Friede Minor part: Rockruff, Mollie, Orla, Ludlow Mentioned: Katy, Liko, Dot, Roy, Blanca

Ships: FriedexMurdock also called Capncrunchshipping or Airfryshipping

Summary:

The story plays right after the fight against BlackRayquaza and before the Trio offically start their training at the Orange academy.

Murdock seems to work in Katys bakery and logically should stay in this town during that time. So I wanted to explore his feelings about being away from everyone, especially Friede and how they spend their last night together before being apart for a while. Lots of emotions, kisses and a little suggestive part at the end <3

Three days have passed since the big fight against BlackRayquaza, were the Brave Asagi got heavely damaged. It is heartbreaking to see their home being in this terrible state, but luckily nobody was injured during this incident and that's the most important thing. The ship can be fixed after all...even if it might take a while until they can go back to what they are used to...until the ship is filled with chaos and laughter again instead of silence and working noises. For the time being Liko went back to her parents house and Dot and Roy were able to stay at Blancas place until they can officially start with their Terastal training at the Orange academy. Only the adults stayed at the ship for now, but as soon as Orla officially begins with the repair they gonna have to stay at a hotel to not be in her way.

Murdock was sitting in his room heaving out a big sigh. He was glad that at least the kids could stay at a more positive environment right now. Seeing the damaged ship everyday just would make them relive this scary experience over and over again. Or that what he is believing anyways, knowing that he himslef is still struggeling with getting that disaster out of his head. He kept a brave face in front of the children, but in reality the cook was as scared as them, not knowing what happens next. Can the ship really be fixed completely? What are they gonna do if it's not possible? Will this the be end end of the RVTs? The cook couldn't help himself but worrying about these questions. Friede seems more faithful then him or at least knows how to overplay such thoughts. "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER!" Murdock scolded himself while he slapped his own hands against his cheeks, squeezing them with a slight agression. "You are not a child anymore, so don't act like one!" Murdock remaind in this position for a while before he loosened his grip, letting out another deep sigh.

The chef inhaled and exhaled sharly several times to calm his nerves. There is no time to feel scared. He knows exactly what he has to do. In fact everyone knew repairing the ship wont be an easy task and will keep Orla busy. But for the mechanic to even being able to start with this endeavor, she needs materials and that in turn means they need money. Lots of money. So Murdock already decided what he personally can do to help. After all working hard is something he can do best.

A small smile formed on his lips while he looked at his phone. Only yesterday he mailed an application adressed to Katy's bakery in Cortondo, hopeing she gonna accept him and allow the pastry chef to work there until the ship is as good as new. To Murdocks surprise she personally called him back this moring to tell him he's hired. Needless to say that the chef almost dropped his phone, because he was so nervouse and honestly didn't expect such a fast answer, let alone a positive one. And on top of that he was told he can already start working in five days. Though the cook needs to leave a day earlier to get the keys for the small room he rented near the bakery, right after this hopeful phonecall earlier.

His smile fastly shifted to a more sad one. Working there means he need to leave for a while and live in that town...thinking about that fact alone made him feel wistful. Murdock don't even wanna think about getting seperated from everyone for an extended period of time that he cannot yet grasp. Especially being apart from Friede fills his thoughts with horror. Having him around all the time feels so natural and became part of his daily life. Being able to go to the other man whenever he wants, just to hang out or when he feels overwhelmed or just needs a safe place. Simply just having him by his side, to feel his touch, his warmth. Before Murdock completly got comsumed by his fear he felt something cautiously licking his hand. The cook was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't noticed his puppy climbed on his lap. Rockruff knew somethings was wrong and visible was worried about it's dad. "Sorry I didn't wanted to worry you." Murdock automatically wore a soft smile and gently patted his puppies head before he lifted it up to pepper it with kisses. Cuddeling with his little angel certainly helped to ground him and let him tackle this decision rationally. The chef knew that he had to tell Friede at some point, but he also didn't want his boyfriend to start brooding about this and having to go through all those feelings for days now as a result just like him...one suffering is enough. Murdock settled to only tell Mollie, Orla and Ludlow about his plans for now.

As expected the two woman appreciated his plans but side-eyed him when he pleaded them to not say a word to Friede about that. Nointhenless they gladly did respect his wish who he was very thankfull for. From this point on Murdock tried to tell Friede as well several times. When they were shopping together, when Friede was keeping him company while cooking, when they went for a walk...he tried to tell him...he really tried but everytime he chickened out the last second and brushed it off, finding a silly excuse for his strange behaviour. There was no way that the professor didn't started to get sceptical.

And before Murdock knew it the day before his departure had arrived. It already was dinner time to be exact. The chef was spending most of the day in the kitchen to make everyones fave meals. He just had too, because he doesn't know when he will be able to cook for them again. Murdock could feel tears filling up his eyes, but hastely blinked them away, before he served it all up. "Hope you all are hungry, because I made plenty!" the chef voiced with a bright smile while watching everyone slowly gathering around the table.

"That smells great!" Friede took in the scent a bit more before sitting down and filling up his plate. Orla and Mollie digged into the food as well. Ludlow on the other hand just silently watched the scene for now, sipping his tea, observing, already knowing something gonna happen. And he didn't have to wait long. "So delicious! I gonna miss Murdocks food!" Orla spouted out, mouth full. "ORLA!" Mollie promptly scolded her, but the brown-haired woman didn't realized what she just said. Murdock on the other hand froze in place, wanting to run away. "Please don't let Friede have heard that!" the cook was pleading in his mind. But the white-haired man DID hear and now looked at Orla with a very confused look on his face, swallowing down his food before asking "Hmm? What do you mean you gonna miss his food?" Realisation hit Orlas brain like a thunder bolt. She didn't meant to say that and tried to hastly come up with an excuse. "Ah that...well I mean when we start staying at the hotel he won't be able to cook there right?" Orla cleared up while slightly laughing awkwardly. "Right Murdock?" she then added hoping he gonna help covering her white lie but to everyones surprise his seat was empty. The tall man must have taken the oppertunity to leave while all eyes were on the mechanic. Friede felt like a fool and was visably confused. The professor hated when he didn't know what was happening and didn't realized how his face got very serious. "What is this all about?" he now asked with a slighty annoyed sound in his voice. The damage was already done so there was no reason to keep up this farce. "We promised Murdock to not tell you, I don't know why he asked for that though, so it might be better to ask him yourself." Mollie finally explained. The conference room was now overshadowed by a negative vibe.

"Listen to the wind, it talks. Listen to the silence, it speaks. Listen to your heart, it knows." Ludlow spoke with a calm and encouraging voice, breaking the uncomforteable silence that had settle over the group. Friede stared at his gramps for a moment before his eyes wandered back to his plate of food. His face slowly shifted into a sad but also concerened and betrayed expression. What did Murdock felt comforteable enough to tell literally everyone but him? He needed to know but...if he haven't told him yet why should he tell him now? Friede suddenly started to heavily shake his head, trying to get rid of those unwanted thoughts. With his eyes now filled with determination, the professor promptly finished his fill and then headed to the kitchen, were he was sure to find his 'target'. Ludlow was smiling as he saw the young man leaving the room ready to clear things up. When Friede entered the kitchen Murdock was busy washing the dishes not daring to look at the smaller man. The professor didn't knew how to start the conversation, he wants to know what the chef is hiding from him, but he also doesn't want to pressure him either. The white-haired man is certain that the cook must have a reason why he haven't told him yet, so he tries to approach the subject slowly. "That was delicious as always. I'm full!" Friede praised, putting on a smile. It wasn't a fake smile though, he meant what he said. Murdocks food is always the tastiest, still he felt more like crying right now. The taller man was taken abakt by that, because he was sure Friede straight up gonna confront him and ask him questions. "I'm glad to hear that. It means a lot to me. Thank you." the cook looked at Friede for a short moment to return the smile, before focusing at the dishes again. An awkward silence filled the whole kitchen. The only sound left was the suttle cliring of the table ware Murdock kept cleaning.

With every minute passing the chef started to get more nervouse. "That's your last proper chance to tell him you idiot!" Murdock started to scold himself in his thoughts. "COME ONE JUST TELL HIM YOU COWARD!" his thoughts went further and the cook got so angry at himself, that he abruptly stopped in his tracks, starteling Friede a little. Murdock was snapped back to reality by a gently touch on his shoulder. It was Friede who now was giving him a worried but warm glance. The cook took a deep breath and slowly let out the air again.

"I'm gonna leave tomorrow to work at Katy's bakery in Cortondo and wont be back for a while. We need that money or Orla can't fix the ship so it's unavoideable." Murdock started to explain, pausing for a moment to inhale deeply before continuing. "I wanted to tell you earlier, but the more I tried the more I couldn't bring myself too..." his voice now started to tremble "If..." he had to clear his throat before being able to continue. "If I had told you four days ago, you surley couldn't have helped but brood about me leaving all these days...and I didn't want you to go through the same thoughts that kept haunting me over and over again...I gonna miss you ya know?" the cook couldn't hold his tears back anymore and started to sob bitterly. "I'm so sorry I couldn't tell you until now I'm..." before he could speak any further he was pulled into a tight hug, while a hand gently caressed his back. "You idiot..." the small man said with a shaky voice himself. "You choose to keep all this feelings to yourself because you didn't wanted to make me suffer but..." Friede now had teary eyes as well "But imagine how you must have felt all those days, being all alone with those thoughts...that's what breaks my heart!"

"I'm so sorry...i didn't mean to hurt your feelings...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." Murdock's voice softened as he continued to apologize, hugging Friede even tighter, but gentle enough so the smaller man could still breath properly. "Shhh it's okay I'm not mad at you." The smaller man kept stroking Murdocks back in gentle and firm circles to calm him down. This went on for quite a while until Friede felt that the other mans sobbing eased. He then proceed to sat down Murdock on the small wooden stool, who was busy wiping away his tears and was still softly sobbing.

"I want to apologize myself...No I need to apologize to you!" the white-haird man stated while he rubbed the back of his head. Murdock just looked at him with wide eyes, waiting for Friede to continue. "The words gramps said to me before had me thinking. I mean you did act a bit strange all of a sudden, but I refused to question it any further believing you surley gonna tell me if somethings the matter and..." "So you did notice..." Murdocks eyes wandered to the side in embarressment. Friede had to giggle at that sight. "Are you kidding me? When we went for a walk yesterday you literally kept staring at me with such an intense look , that you ended up running into a street lamp!" Friede now started to chuckle. "You should have seen your face!" and with that he bursted out into laughter. "STOP LAUGHING THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" Murdock tried to complain, but the moment he saw Friedes genuin smile while laughing like crazy he couldn't help himslef but join, laughing away all their worries. A few minutes passed and they now were sitting on the floor, right next to each other, tummies still hurting from their laughing fit. "Guess we are both idiots!" the cook stated while beaming a smile at Friede who returned the favour agreeing with a cheerfull "Yeah!"

And without a warning Friede was leaning in for a passionate kiss, making the tall man shudder in surprise. As soon as their lips touched Murdock literally melted into this sensation. The cook gently layed his hands around the other mans arms to pull him even closer. Both of them let themselve fully taken in by this moment, there hearts are pounding in synch, hoping this pleasent feeling would never fade. They tried to delay the unavoideable, but unfortunatly they had to break the kiss at some point to breath again. Now staring into each others eyes with such warmth.

"Soooo we can either have some fun now or just cuddle all night." Friede now looked at Murdock with playful eyes and a cheeky smile. The cook just looked at him with wide eyes, cheeks still rosy. He tightened his grip a little, his eyes nervousely flickering back and forth from looking into Friedes eyes to staring into the void. Friede just amusingly watched his future husband getting all flustered, while waiting for an answer. "Wh-Why not both?" the cook finally managed to declare, taking the professor by surprise, not that he is complaining though. He kinda was hoping for that outcome, because he wants both of them to enjoy this night to the fullest. "Never thought you can get greedy." the smaller man sassily returned, while purposly coming closer to Murdock's face who then started to pout a little "So what if I'm a little greedy?" the chef playfully growled back. "Nothing wrong with that." Friede assured while trying to kiss Murdock again. The emphasis is on 'trying' because his attempt got stopped by a big hand gently pressing against his lips. "W-Wait! N-not here!! Besides I need to clean the kitchen first and..." the cook got cut off mid-sentence by Friedes lips sealing his once again. It was only a short lived kiss this time meant to stop Murdock from blabbering nonsens. Friede now was looking into Murdocks eyes dead serious. "As if I would let you do the chores right now, the dishes won't run away, I gonna deal with them tomorrow." the yellow-eyed man explained. "But...!" Murdock tried to argue, but this time it was Friede pressing his hand against the cooks lips. "No buts! I already let the others know so don't worry!" the professor replied with a snippish grin while holding up his phone to show Murdock that he in fact send a message.

»Just put your dishes in the kitchen later. I'll deal with them tomorrow. I have to take care of Murdock tonight <3«

"T-Taking ca-care of me?" Murdocks cheeks turned into an even more intense pink admitting his defeat "G-Guess I have no choice then!" he stutterd softly. Pleased to hear that, Friede then purposely placed his hand on Murdocks crotch, making the cook jump at the sudden touch. His whole head turned into a bright red now and before the professor could make his next move he got lifted up by Murdock, bridal style. The cook now was dashing into his room, while gently carrying the smaller man in his arms, locking the door behind him before he allowed himself to be all over Friede.

At the same time in the kitchen:

"Guess we better sleep with our ear plugs in tonight." Mollie said after she read Friede's message while looking at Orla, who visibly was relieved about this outcome. With their minds at peace the two woman continued eating. Ludlow did join them as well now and was seemingly happy.

The next morning:

Friede and Murdock layed in bed cuddeling together. The smaller man was resting his head againsts the cooks chest, while the taller man wrapped his arms around him. Both were snoozing softly, enjoying this harmonic atmospehere until Murdocks alarm rang. The chef turned it off as fast as he could so Friede not gonna get waken up from it. He had to blink his eyes open several times before his vision was clear and he could see Friedes peaceful face, thankfully still sleeping. The cook decided it won't hurt to stay in bed for five more minutes, before he cautiously climbed out to not wake up the other man. He didn't want too, but he needed to leave soon so he had to dress up and get ready. When he came back from the bathroom he found Friede right were he left him and couldn't hold back a smile. He looked cute when he was peacefully sleeping. Murdock than hastly pulled out his phone to snap a shot he can look at whenever he misses Friede. Not that he already has a full album full of that. Happy with the result he now was thinking about waking the professor up to properly say goodbye for now. But wouldn't that be selfish? To tear him from his sleep just to catch another kiss? As Murdock was mostly silently debating with himself to either wake up the other man or not he suddenly got hugged from behind. The smaller man tightly wrapped his arms around him. "Good morning!" Friede muttered while letting out a big yawn. "G-Good Morning Friede. Did I wake you up?" the cook replied. "Nah I was already awake before you climed out of bed, but I wanted to let you get ready in peace." The white-haired man explained while he released the hug trying to catch a glimpse of Murdock's cell phone "Sooo did you get a nice shot?" Friede asked with a cheeky voice resulting in a high pitched scream leaving the cooks mouth, while the latter tried to hide his phone. But that just made Friede even more curious, now wearing a big grin on his face "I know you made a photo of me while I was supposetly asleep." Murdock was now trying to hide his blushing face behind his phone. "M-Ma-Maybe!" he managed to stutter out. "Good thing I also got a cute shot from you." the smaller man joyfully chirped. A small chuckle left the professors mouth when he saw the chef getting all flustered. Friede then took his chance to pull his boyfriend into a kiss, which immediately made the bigger man calmer. Both closed their eyes and enjoyed this delicate moment. Taking in every second, burning this feeling into their brains. They whined a little when they had to part, but they knew it was now time for Murdock to go. " Don't overwork yourself okay?" Friede wanted to make sure and with a "Don't be too reckless okay?" and a warm smile Murdock then left for his new temporary job.

[weirdplutoprince]

Cat now you have to share your favorite vilainess isekais the people need to know

GOD ok hmmmmm. In no particular order but here are my favourites and its strongest qualities:

Beware of the villainess

Pros: Very funny, sympathetic to original female lead and villainess alike. Very self aware and critical of common tropes of the genre, specially regarding shitty male leads. Rare example of non subservient maid as well. Can't miss it with this one.

Cons: Male lead is boring and a bit annoyingly protective. I wish it was yuri. At least he's pathetic so there is that. Only character of colour is an agressive werewolf iirc so not great.

2. Death is the Only Ending for the Villainess

Pros: Condemns shitty male leads, very sympathetic to the original villainess. Very cathartic in the 'shaming your abusive family' way. Good kind of pain and suffering. I find it very satisfying.

Cons: I don't like any of the male leads. Theres a yandere-esque guy, which is game ending for me but maybe not for you so, eh.

3. Milady just wants to relax

Pros: Very satisfying and pleasant to read. She's fairly self sufficient at the start, and it avoids having the guys constantly rescue her. It's been a while so I dont rememeber details, but I gave it a high grade. Male leads have very fun furry designs.

Cons: Male leads have very lame human designs. They start doing annoying things like picking her up randomly later on. I dont know how it ends.

4. The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

Pros: Great revenge story. Main character is actually a villainess and gets to do shady, fucked up things. I don't hate the male lead. I personally find her very cute and I like inherent tragedy of her relationship with her evil ass sister.

Cons: I dont have a problem with that personally but her revenge has basically no bad consequences for her so dont expect this kind of depth. Still think its cool.

5. I Became the Stepmother of An Irrevocable Dark Family

Pros: This one is kinda mid actually and I only read the novel BUT it has my favourite mother and child relationship in these. I found the kid genuinely very cute and endearing.

Cons: The guy is a fucking idiot and it has one of the most convoluted, stupid isekai reasons I have ever seen to justify that.

6. I want to be you, Just for a day

Pros: Focused on the female lead and villainess and their deeply complicated relationship. Sympathetic to both of them and actually bothers with their feelings and struggles inherent to their positions. Revenge story. Very intense but cool.

Cons: Really dark in terms of abuse, violence etc. I don't know if the shitty male lead guy is end game or not so beware.

I like some others but they're not villainesses or at more mid so. There you go.

[thelostgirl21]

I wish there was a way to clearly say:

I'm personally comfortable being called a "woman", only because I have the sexual dimorphism typically associated with a female of the human species, and that's how other people see me as when they look at my physical appearance; nothing more.

While making 100% sure not to accidentally bring any harm to the trans community, or making it sound like one's gender identity should always match their physical appearance, when that's far from being the case.

Because, until very recently, I'd always been calling myself "a girl", or "a woman" exclusively based on how I physically look.

To me, defining myself as "a woman", has always been the equivalent of describing an external characteristic of my body that others are able to see.

- I'm a woman.

- I'm 5'7''.

- I have brown eyes.

- etc.

It's always been exactly the same to me. It's what you can physically see, not who I am.

Somehow, it's like I completely forgot to develop a sense of personal identity tied to "being a woman" while I was growing up.

I could wake up tomorrow with a body that has the sexual dimorphism of a male of my species instead, have everyone call me a man and suddenly have to live my life as one, and I'd have only ONE problem with it.

Just the one.

My partner is a heterosexual man, so that would be a challenge.

But otherwise, I think I'd just be really curious to explore the physiological differences between my prior body and my new body, and then move on with my life without changing a single thing to the things I like, my behavior in general, personal interests, probably the way I like to dress, too, etc.

I'd just be "looking more masculine" while doing it.

It would be like having blonde short hair instead of my current brown long hair.

The rest of the world would treat me differently as a man, sure! But that wouldn't reflect how I identify or feel inside about who I am.

Just how others now see me as and choose to socially treat me.

My gender, to me, is something that's always existed outside of myself.

I have no personal use for it, nor is it a part of my personality.

I guess I've often been gender-non-conforming, too, not because I was attempting to rebel against my own gender, felt a need to distance myself from the binary, or anything... But just because I've never seen the point of it.

I've had boyfriends telling me that it was like I wanted to be the "man in the relationship", and being upset that I wasn't letting them play their role at times (that hasn't really been an issue with women, oddly enough); and I broke up with them without looking back, because what the fuck was that even supposed to mean?

I wasn't trying to behave like a man or a woman, I was just being myself, and adopting the social roles and behaviors I'm comfortable with. If you can't love me as I am, then what am I supposed to do?

Younger, I've had little boys back at school telling me that "it was weird for a girl to like certain things or express herself a certain way", and my response has always pretty much been to shrug, go "guess I'm a weird girl then", and then continue doing things my way.

(Yes, I'm aware that I've been very privileged to live in a world where I've merely been occasionally bullied or suffered verbal micro-agressions for ignoring the social standards set for "little girls"... Then again, I've probably embraced some of them!

I loved playing with my "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe set", or walking around with a lightsaber pretending to be Luke Skywalker... But I was cool with "My Little Poney" (the originals) and "Rainbow Bright", too!

Like I said, I wasn't trying to be "non-conforming", I just liked whatever I liked!

I was also lucky enough that my parents fully allowed me to go for what I enjoyed in terms of toys, games, activities, playmates, etc., regardless of gender.

And my physical appearance as a child occasionally had people mistaking me for a boy. So, perhaps, the other adults that saw me behave as one in public assumed I was one, and thus put less pressure on me to behave in a way that would have been deemed more "feminine" than "masculine".

By the point I really started looking more "feminine" (like I do now), I guess I'd moved past caring about it, and/or had reached a point where it made no sense to me that it would suddenly have been upsetting that I occasionally behaved "as a boy" or enjoyed "boy things" now when, until then, it had always been perfectly fine and well accepted that I did!

I guess there's something to be said about the influence of early socialisation, and how adults in the social environment of a child respond to a young child's gender, in the level of importance they might instinctively give to it later on.)

Like, I'm pretty sure that, if I were to ask you to determine my gender based on my looks alone (while fully giving you permission to do it), especially when I'm performing on stage wearing makeup, you'd go "you're a woman!" with a fair level of confidence!

But that's just it! To me that's just the way I look. A stylistic choice based on the way my body chose to develop, if you will.

What drives me nuts, though, is that I have zero problem empathizing with the trans community and their need to express their own gender identity, because I know what it feels like to need to be seen and respected as one's authentic self!

You tell me you identify as a woman, a man, agender, genderfae, etc., and/or feel a need to express it? Be yourself, and rock that gender! It is who you are, and it is your right to own it!

The fact that I feel like I don't have any particular use or need for gender doesn't mean that it can't be important for others, and that they don't have a use or need for it themselves.

Just because I don't intimately understand it, doesn't mean it doesn't exist or doesn't matter. It doesn't mean that I can't support, and actively advocate for proper gender recognition and respect in schools and other public places.

I "get it" without "getting it", if you will.

The problem, however, is that I am extremely uncomfortable with the idea that, if I identify as a "woman", people will assume that it means more to me than "I physically look female".

That it will be assumed that I emotionally and psychologically connect with my gender, and feel a need to express it, or a sense of attachment and belonging to the woman gender.

After having called the way my physical body "looks" to others on the outside "being a woman" for decades, it's hard for me to suddenly go "being a woman is not the same as passing for a woman, it's about the gender you identify with inside..." and stop calling myself a woman, because I feel like I've no gender identity inside of myself.

But "agender" doesn't quite feel right to me, either, because I'd never had any problem with the idea of being a woman, until I learned that I was supposed to give a damn about being a woman, and personally connect with my gender, that is.

And "gender non-conforming" doesn't sound quite right, either, because I'm not trying to avoid conforming to the woman gender, or expressing a different gender than the one that was assigned to me at birth.

They basically gave me a gender based on my genitalia when I was born, and I went "Yeah, sure! I guess I can look the part... Why not?"; while ignoring the whole social instructions booklet and guidelines that went with it.

So lately, every time someone has asked me what my gender is, or what gender I identify with, I've had a tendency to freeze, panic, and mentally go:

Like the idea of my having a gender makes no internal sense to me. It's not something I can relate to, "vibe with", or identify with.

Is there a way to respectfully say "I'm calling myself a woman for convenience's sake, because that's the gender traditionally associated with the way I look, and I'm okay with having grown into a feminine appearance by default? But please, don't assume it means anything to me beyond that, or expect me to behave, dress, or do anything according to the woman gender."

I've been using "gender apathetic" in an attempt to convey it, but is that really what it means, and how most people understand it?

Basically, I feel like my answers to these questions would be:

- What physical look do you most resemble? Woman / feminine / female.

- What gender do you identify with? None.

- Do you feel comfortable being called a woman, and her / she pronouns, based on the way you look? Yes.

How do you freaking call or define that?

Non-internalized cisgenderism?