#he was waiting for her (all of them really) AND THAT FUCKS ME UP

[chaoticwriting]

YOU ARE MARRIED??!!

-Wayne Manor, Gotham-

Cass is not having a good time. From the Arkham breakout last week all the way to losing a bet with his siblings on who is going to attend the gala with Bruce. And now this annoying lady kept asking her about her preference in men or something. And Bruce can't help her since he is being occupied by those rich assholes about investment or stuff.

Vicky: So, Miss Wayne. Is it true that you have a secret boyfriend?

Cass: No.

Vicky: Then how about that pict-

Cass: I'm already married.

Vicky blue screened as Cass finished her sentence. Cass takes the chance and slips away from her before she starts barraging her with questions. Revealing that she is married may not be the smartest thing she has done but she is very annoyed at people who keep asking her about her secret significant other. If they want to ask, at least use the proper term.

Just as Cass reaches the hallway, she is scooped up by two strong arms and is carried away to the Batcave. Cass looks to her side to see Dick and Jason both holding one of her arms each and looking very pissed. Well, Dick looks very pissed. Jason looks like he is having fun. Cass doesn't struggle and just lets her brothers carry her to the Batcave to have the talk.

They put Cass on the couch and proceed to guard the exit of the cave on the off chance that she decides to escape. Not that she would because she and her husband have been thinking of breaking the news to their respective family for awhile now.

She waited for a few hours while playing on her phone. Her main phone. Not the one she used to contact her husband since this family has a lot of competent hackers. She knows that being married is like a big deal. But she doesn't expect it to be such a big deal.

When she says everyone is here, she means everyone. From all his close family all the way to Selina (Bruce's fiancee), Roy (Jason's boyfriend), Kori (Dick's wife), Kon (Tim's boyfriend), Jon (Damian's bff) and even Harley and Ivy is here. She is also pretty sure that Clark is listening from somewhere but it's not like she is trying to keep it a secret anymore, so the more people there are the less she needs to explain.

Harper: So what are we here again? I would rather be home to polish my new gun than in this cave.

Dick: Since everyone is here, I would like to apologize for calling all of you in such short notice.

A murmur ranging from 'it's fine' all the way to 'I want to sleep' sounded in the room.

Dick: Anyway, let's get to the main topic shall we. For starters, I would like to say that none of us wishes to control who you dated nor who you choose to be your partner.

Some more murmurs sounded in the room.

Dick: HOWEVER! We would really appreciate it if you wish to marry someone, at least notify one of us since being married is a big deal.

More murmurs sounded as all of them have a rough idea on what the topic going to be.

Dick: So, the person in question, would you like to explain yourself?

A spotlight lights up on top of Cass, directing all the people's attention to her. She doesn't even know there is a spotlight installed in the cave.Cass stands up and looks at the crowd. She replies, "No."

Everyone is stunned by her reply. They expect many types of replies but no is certainly not one of them.

Tim: Fuck you mean no?

Alfred: I would prefer this conversation to remain civil and proper please master Timothy. I would also like to express my extreme displeasure at the fact that I am not notified by your marriage Mistress Cassandra.

Cass goes still at Alfred's sentence. Okay, shit is really serious. As much as she loves messing with them, she would rather not have her food burnt on the inside. (No one knows how Alfred manages to do that.)

Cass: Ehem, I'm just messing with you. It is a long story but to make it short, my husband and I met when we were in Hong Kong. We met after he got roped in one of the gangs that I was busting. After we met and a little misunderstanding, he helped me to dismantle the underground drug labs across Hong Kong.

Tim: So he is also a vigilante?

Cass: Ex-vigilante. He has a daughter now so he is taking care of her.

Dick: You get pregnant?!! How? When?

Cass: I did not get pregnant. But she is technically my daughter.

Jason: Like how Lian is with me?

Cass: No. Biological daughter.

Kon: Umm, guys. I think Bruce needs to rest a little. His heart has been beating a little too fast for even him.

Dick and and Tim are closest to Bruce realizing that Bruce's face has been impossibly pale for quite a while now. They take him to an empty couch and let him lay there and rest for a while. Everyone's reactions range from amused to straight up concerned that Bruce's career as Batman might get cut short today.

It takes a while but as soon as Bruce is fine, they continue another round of questions and answers.

Bruce: How long have you been married?

Cass: Next week is our 3rd anniversary.

Duke: Wait. Didn't you plan to go to Hong Kong for some time next week? You even ask me to cover your patrol because you say you need to go somewhere.

Cass: I don't lie. I missed last year's anniversary since there was an Arkham breakout at the time.

Duke: Dude, still not cool. You are going on a date with your husband while I need to spend hours running on top of buildings around Gotham. So not fair.

Jason: Was the present you asked me to send last year also was for your husband?

Cass: Yes.

Jason: I've been your middle man all this time and I don't even know.

Barbara: I found it! This is the registration for marriage between Cassie Cain and Daniel Fenton. You used a fake name?

Cass: Yes. You will know otherwise.

Bruce: Why do you hide it?

Cass: I'm not sure all of you are gonna like him and vice versa.

Dick: Is he a bad person? I will kill him if he treats you badly.

Cass: No. He doesn't trust all of you at first.

Steph: And why is that?

Cass: He thinks the Justice League is working with the government. So by extension, all of you are associates of government to him.

Steph: Why is he running away from the government? Is he a criminal?

Barbara: No. He doesn't have any criminal records in his name. Except for the fact that he is practically nonexistent before he is 18, there is nothing wrong with him.

Tim: Is it a forged identity then?

Cass: No. The government wiped away his records.

Dick: What? Why?

Cass: I don't know.

Damian: I expect you to at least do a background check on someone before marrying them, Cain.

Dick: Did you get married with someone you barely know? Do you understand how dangerous that is? What if he just dipped you after you got married?

Cass: *Rolls her eyes* He isn't a bad person. I make sure of that at least. I know he is some sort of meta tho-

A green portal suddenly appears out of thin air making everyone be on guard except Cass. She expects Danny to come out of the portal to greet her but what comes out baffled her.

A young girl that looks a little like Cass riding on a big wolf comes out of the portal swiftly towards Cass. Everyone is just about to shoot their weapons when the girl's word shock them.

???:Mama!

Everyone: Mama?!!

[lockefanfic]

Last Chance

“Come over?”

You knew what the message meant, what she was asking for. What else could she mean, sending you that text at near midnight on a Friday night? 

The night air is crisp as you leave your friend’s apartment, where his yearly Inbetween-Christmas-and-New-Years party was raging. It seemed to only get colder as you stood on the sidewalk waiting for your ride, and the Uber driver’s seeming reluctance to crank up the heat in his car meant that the ride across town to her apartment was almost equally as chilly. 

Her building was a lot warmer, thankfully, and when she opens the door and greets you with a smile she gives you all the warmth you need.

“Come in,” Chou Tzuyu says with a small wave of her hand and nod of her head. “Drink?”

“I’ve had plenty at the party,” you admit, “but wouldn’t say no to water.”

“Good choice,” she says with a sly smile, cracking open her fridge to pull out a jug. “Gotta stay hydrated.”

You watch as she pours you a glass, her back turned to you as you enter her small but nicely furnished kitchen. She’s wearing a short, tight t-shirt and what were probably the tiniest pair of green cotton shorts known to man. The fit left much of her midsection and all of her long, shapely legs bare, highlighting the wideness of her hips and the fullness of her thighs. You hadn’t thought it possible, but she almost looked as attractive with the flimsy scraps of cotton on her as she did without them.

She hands you your glass of water, tapping it with her own as you both take sips and step into her living room. 

“Had a real shitty week,” she says, unprompted, as though she somehow felt the need to justify calling you over on a Friday night, felt the need to justify what the both of you were about to do. “Kind of need to blow off some steam.”

“Fair enough. Work again?”

“Yeah,” she says with a sigh under her breath, leaning against the arm of her couch, where you join her. “Big project due next week that’s kept me at the office most nights. And…”

“And?”

“There’s this guy.”

You sigh, inwardly, hiding your reaction behind another sip of water. You feel a sting somewhere in the depths of your heart, one you do your best to keep hidden behind the barrier of nonchalance that you’d worked hard to maintain with her.

“Oh?” you manage.

“Co-worker,” she says, softly, after another sip. “Yeah, yeah, I know, ‘don’t date co-workers.’ But I’m pretty sure he’s into me, y’know? And I’ve been into him since, well, forever ago. But I’m so frustrated, because he won’t make a fucking move, no matter how many signals I send his way.”

“...and you’re into him?” you ask, even as the words hurt to say.

She fumbles a bit with the glass in her hand, staring down at it as though she were looking for the answer to your question in the transparent liquid that it contained.

“Well, yeah,” she admits. “I know I should really keep it professional, considering how long we’ve been working together and how much I rely on him at work, but… I dunno. I dunno what to make of it, that’s all. I just wish he’d call me or something, get it over with, one way or another. Was kind of hoping he’d ask me out over the holidays, but nothing.”

“Ah,” you admit. “Maybe he’s just not into girls that aren’t hot enough to be invited to  Inbetween-Christmas-And-New-Year’s parties,” you tease. “I wouldn’t be either, to be honest.”

Tzuyu smirks and gives you a playful swat on the arm, the smirk turning into a warm smile. “Thanks for coming over,” she says, softly. “I need this.”

“I mean, I had to leave an above average Inbetween-Christmas-and-New-Year’s party because my moderately attractive friend across town needs my dick in her so she can get over some guy at work, but sure, I guess I kinda need it too.”

Tzuyu giggles - a soft, musical sound you never tired of hearing. 

She locks eyes with you for a moment, and in that split second you feel disarmed, as though she sees right through you, right through the humor and sarcasm and other defenses you’d put up to keep her from seeing the real you. You worry, for a moment, that she sees right through your sarcastic, aloof facade you forced yourself to wear lest she see how you really felt about her.

The moment is fleeting, though, and after she takes your glass of water and places it on the coffee table next to hers, the look you find in her eyes is altogether different. There’s hunger there now, and need.

She pulls you to your feet, wraps her arms around your neck, and your heart stops beating for a moment when your lips touch. 

Gentle, soft at first, as it always was, because despite being friends with benefits for a year or so and friends for much longer you both never quite got over that initial awkwardness, those odd, clumsy moments when you both knew what you wanted but weren’t quite sure how to go about initiating the process to get it.

You liked to think it was because you were both hopeless romantics at heart, and something within you both thought that sex without the feelings was beneath you, was something only indulged in by desperate single people who couldn’t get into a relationship to save their lives. Perhaps it was because neither of you wanted to be the one to admit, at least on the outside, that this was just for pleasure, that you were using a friend for an orgasm or two and that was it, end of story, we now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

But the feeling quickly fades amidst the feel of another body pressed to yours, and soon the kiss becomes heated. Tongues dance, mouths open, your lips crush against each other. Your hands roam - yours around that tiny waist of hers, hers around your neck, fingers furrowing into the hair at the back of your neck. You pull her against you and her body molds to yours, warm and soft and pliant.

You break the kiss, eager to have more of her, your heart pounding now, so loud you fear she might hear it pounding out of your chest. She gasps as you dive into her neck, her hands weaving further into your hair, nails digging into your scalp. She tilts her head to the side, gives more of herself to you.

“Fuck,” she hisses, between gritted teeth. “Fuck. Need this.”

You devour her neck, finding and fixating on those sensitive spots where you knew she loved to be kissed. Your hands slide up her back and cup her ass and you’re thankful again that she decided to wear such a flimsy outfit that did little to hide the wonders of her body. 

She pulls away for a moment to pull her shirt up and over her head and she’s topless now, her hands working on your own clothes and divesting you of your button-up and t-shirt you wore beneath it. You come together again and the thrill of her soft, warm breasts pressing against your chest takes the breath away from your mouth for a moment, even as she covers your newly breathless lips with a kiss. The stiff peaks of her nipples press against you, tight and needy, sending a shiver up your spine.

You reach down, pick her up with your hands beneath her ass - and she giggles again as you carry her toward her bedroom. Her legs wrap themselves around your waist, her arms around your neck, but she weighs nothing against the need for her that gives you all the strength you need. She’s smiling and laughing and she’s everything you could ever want, right there in your arms.

She’s yours, and she’s not.

You drop her onto her bed, where her landing gives those small, perfect breasts of hers a delightful looking bounce. Your eyes find hers and for a moment, a split second, you’re afraid again - that she can see right through you, find the way you really feel about her beyond the hunger and lust and need. 

Because Chou Tzuyu is perfect - when she’s topless on her bed, lips slightly parted, eyes hooded, yes - but she was also perfect when you met her in your senior-level psychology lecture, perfect when you helped her move into this very apartment, perfect when you went out for dinner after she landed her first big job in her field; the very same one where she’d meet the guy she was apparently so very into, the same guy you most decidedly were not, the same guy you were apparently a substitute for on a lonely Friday night.

You need her - that perfect, tight body, the wide hips and full thighs, the round, perky breasts and the beautiful smile - but in ways beyond the physical. You need her beyond lonely weeknights and 2am weekend hookups. You need her for Sunday mornings at the grocery store where you both plan your lunches for the week, you need her for vacations in Fukuoka and Amsterdam and Vancouver. You need her for random, candid photos on your phone during a coffee date where she believes, ridiculously, that she were anything less than perfect in your eyes.

But she’s not yours - at least, not in the way you would like. She’s half-naked on her bed and you’re between her spread thighs and she’s looking at you like she wants to devour you whole and somehow, someway, that’s not enough. It would never be enough. But it’s all you have. It’s all she can give you.

You bend to kiss her, and being past that clumsy, awkward initial phase, the kiss is heated, passionate. It’s also a short one, because the rest of her body beckoned, and you didn’t possess the patience or self-control to deny yourself what was yours to take. You indulge in the delights of Chou Tzuyu’s body because it’s a distraction from the feelings that you fear might take over if you indulge them, if you let yourself dream about what your life would be like if she weren’t just a friend, weren’t just a Friday night fuck.

You kiss a path down her neck, to her sharp, prominent collarbones, each soft peck eliciting a little gasp or hiss from her lips. When you reach her breasts she’s practically begging, back arched off the mattress, desperate to have your mouth on her. She loved having your hands on her small mounds, your lips locked over her nipples, licking and sucking. Smaller boobs are more sensitive, she’d said once, only half-jokingly, and you never forgot it.

You give her what she wants - what you both want. Your mouth latches on to one breast, lips closing over her tight nipple and sucking, licking, lightly biting.

Tzuyu moans - a long, languid sound of pleasure, her loudest of the night. You never tired of hearing the pleasure leaving her lips in long, wordless drawls. It was like music. It was a song that only she knew the lyrics to, that she performed only for you, and you never tired of hearing it play.

Your mouth and hand swap, your lips latching tightly to her other nipple while you squeeze the other one with an open palm, relishing the feel of the soft flesh beneath your fingers. 

You spend a little longer on her right breast, because you knew it was somehow more sensitive than the other one - just another of those small things you knew about her body that no one else did. Another fact about Chou Tzuyu that belonged just to you, that you held tight against your chest and treasured greedily. You loved knowing that you knew things about her body no one else did. 

You loved knowing that you were the only one who knew these dirty, filthy little things about her, and that you were the only man on earth she trusted with them. The thought of sharing that knowledge with another man - or even worse, of losing access to it altogether, having it taken away from you by some random asshole who didn’t know these things, hadn’t worked to learn them - made you feel something dark and upsetting, something between fear and anger.

Tzuyu is a moaning and sighing mess now, her legs wrapped around your lower back, her own back arching up and off the mattress in an attempt to offer more of her body to you. Her nails dig little spikes of pain into your scalp with each suckle you draw from her nipple. Her thighs part even further and you feel the warmth between them pressing against your belly, even through the green shorts riding up her hips. She moans and writhes beneath you and if you’d spent the rest of the night with her breasts in your mouth and under your palms you would’ve been satisfied with that alone.

But she has other ideas - wants more, craves more. The fingers she’s woven into your hair push you downward. You release her stiffened nipple from between your lips with a pop, gazing up momentarily to find her looking back at you, cheeks flushed, eyes half-lidded, a sigh on her lips. Their corners perk up in a barely noticeable, shy little smile.

Her tongue darts out, moistens her full pink lips, and you catch the unspoken request.

You bend your head again, returning your lips to her skin, starting a trail down her flat stomach, taking care to press a soft kiss on that cute belly button of hers. You open your eyes to watch her abs flex with every movement, delighting in the sight and feel of the tight muscle beneath the perfect, creamy skin. Hers was a body she’d spent many long hours in the gym and pilates studio for, and you were more than happy to make sure she knew how worth it it all was.

You reach her shorts, eventually - the flimsy strip of soft green cotton that was just barely enough to provide her with some measure of modesty. You take a moment to admire the way they sat on her hips, the way her full, flushed thighs look spread beneath them. She squirms under your gaze, her hips searching for friction, begging you to get them off her.

Your patience outlasts hers, because she’s the one to reach for the buttons keeping the shorts closed. You consider stopping her and undoing the buttons yourself, but there is a part of you that needs to see her undress herself for you, needs to watch her reveal her most intimate parts to you and you alone.

Thin, dainty fingers make quick work of the button, and she raises her hips, hooking her thumbs into the waistband and pulling them off her hips. You make way as she pulls the shorts off the long, endless length of her legs. She tosses them aside, over the side of the bed, where for all intents and purposes they cease to exist.

Her thighs remain tight together for a moment, only a few moments - and in those seconds her eyes are locked on yours, capturing and holding every ounce of your attention. Her thighs part, her legs spread and allow you back between them, but your eyes hold her gaze regardless. Her eyes tell you she wants you to relish the way she looks, naked and vulnerable, her body spread and laid out for you to take, to make yours for the rest of the night.

“Fuck, Tzuyu,” you mumble, unable to really say anything more than her name.

She smirks, those wonderful lips of hers curling into a smile. Without further word she grasps your skull with her palms and gently pushes you down towards her waiting pussy.

Her cunt is beautiful, like the rest of her - flushed and pink and glistening in the soft light of her bedroom, the insides of her thighs already moist with her juices. You bend down and give her a long, slow lick from the base of her opening to the top. The taste of her floods your palette just as the sound of the gasp that leaves her lungs fills your ears - a sound that is quickly muffled by the closing of her warm, moist thighs around your cheeks and face.

You do it again, give her another lick from bottom to top, then a third. You swirl her juices around on your tongue, relishing the taste of her. She’s squirming now, writhing, waiting for you to really commit to pleasuring her, her back arching and her nails digging more incessantly into your scalp.

You take a glance up at her - a viewpoint that you were truly blessed to bear witness to - past the flat planes of her stomach, between her heaving breasts, and finally to her face, flushed and pink, lower lip tucked under teeth, eyes fixed on you. She does it again - communicates her need without words, telling you, begging you, to give her the pleasure she so desperately needed. 

And so you do, bending and closing your lips around the tender bud of her clit, your tongue darting out softly, gently, avoiding the sensitive nub and instead licking around it, tracing soft, slow circles around it, just the way you knew she liked. 

The wordless song that has been leaving her mouth all night hits a higher tone, another octave as you work her over with your tongue. Everything intensifies for Tzuyu - the pleasure coursing up her spine, the wetness between her legs, the volume of the moans leaving her mouth. Her head falls back, eyes shutting, mouth now permanently ajar.

It intensifies for you, too - the pinpricks of irritation her nails are digging into your scalp become painful nails, the wet warmth of her thighs closes ever more around your cheeks, and the slick wetness of her cunt increases, making your lips and chin slick. You continue to swirl your tongue around the tender flesh surrounding her clit, neither increasing nor decreasing in pace - simply maintaining your current one, knowing from experience what made her body work, what would give her the most pleasure.

Tzuyu becomes a mewling, quivering mess beneath your tongue. The moans and profanities leaving her lips continue unabated. She forces herself every now and then to open her eyes, glance down at the top of your head nestled between her spread legs, the mere sight of you there, in her most intimate area with your lips around her clit, enough to send yet another spike of pleasure up her spine and into her addled brain. 

“God, fuck, that feels so good,” she manages to gasp, her brain barely able to form recognizable words out of the stream of sounds leaving her mouth. “Fuck, keep going.”

You knew where exactly where she was, what level of pleasure she was experiencing - knowledge that was the product of many a night doing exactly this, pleasuring her just the way you were now. You knew that she was right there, dangling on the precipice, and that she needed just that one last nudge, one last push.

You slip your right hand from where it was wrapped around her thigh, sliding it beneath her, bringing your fingertips to her drenched opening. She gasps as she feels your fingertips at her thus far neglected entrance, knowing what it means, knowing what is about to come. You can almost feel her pussy writhe and ripple around your fingers, now a knuckle deep, urging you, begging you deeper.

“Please,” she gasps, and you oblige. You slide your index and middle fingers inside her, palm up, and the effect on her body is immediate. Her moans cut out, her entire body goes rigid for a moment, as though shocked by lightning. The silence left by the cessation of her moans leaves only the sound of her body writhing on the bed to fill your ears, along with the wet slickness of your fingers moving inside her.

Throughout it all your tongue is swirling around her clit, merciless, unwavering in its pace and depth and pressure. Your fingers are ones pushing her, upping stakes, sliding slowly deeper inside her slickness, curling upward, searching, finding, then teasing.

It takes only a few seconds of your fingertips grazing that most sensitive part of her before Tzuyu orgasms, taking herself by surprise almost as it did you. Her world explodes, her body goes stiff, her eyes shut and for a few wonderful moments all she sees is stars.

You almost have to fight to hold her down with your free hand flat on her tense belly lest your mouth lose contact with her spasming cunt. You fight to keep your tongue and fingers moving, if at a slightly slower pace, letting her ride it out, letting her feel and relish every second of the pleasure coursing its way through every fibre of her being. She’s quiet through it all, mouth frozen in a silent scream, which was rare - she was usually one to announce and talk through her pleasure, but here she was, rendered unable to even moan.

“Fucking hell,” she spits, sometime later when she is able to form words again. Her body is suddenly boneless and sinking into the mattress, utterly drained. Her thighs finally loosen around your head, much to your chagrin, because you’d grown fond of the sticky warmth you’d found between them.

She pulls your face up toward her, and you delight in the tour you’re given of her breathless, sweaty body beneath you as you crawl up the bed until you’re face-to-face. When you reach her lips she captures yours in a tight, passionate kiss, her tongue finding yours and tasting herself on its surface.

“I need you now,” she hisses, eyes boring into yours. You need her too. You always have, truth be told, but perhaps not in the same ways that she needed you. You want to say something, lying here, inches from her face, her eyes needy and vulnerable. But the words never come. The moment passes.

Before you can react any further her hands slide from your head to your shoulders, where she gives you a gentle push onto your back on the bed. She rolls atop you, straddling your hips.

There’s a coy smile on her lips as she undoes the belt at your waist before undoing the button and fly of your jeans and pulling them down your hips. She lets out a soft giggle as you raise your hips and pull the clothes off your legs as though they were on fire. This is all a game to her, a release, a fun, if momentary, distraction. The realization of that stings a little, somewhere deep inside you, where she can’t see the hurt she’s caused to you.

When you’re finally as naked as she is, she straddles you again. Your eyes find hers, as they always did, drawn to them, magnetically, as though you could always find what you needed in them. The small moment of levity and amusement she gained from watching you desperately undress disappears, replaced again by need and desire. 

Her tongue slips out between her lips when she gazes down and sees your cock, hard and aching. Her hand reaches out to grasp it and you feel the air rush out of your lungs at this first intimate contact. She brings your tip to her entrance, dragging the head up and down through her lips, lathering it with her slick juices.

You want to say something, want to tell her how utterly captivating she looks on your lap, your cock at her entrance; you want to tell her how much you wish you were about to fuck your girlfriend or your wife and not just a friend; you want to tell her how the very thought of another man being where you are, right now, upsets you more than you had any right to be.

The moment passes - again. You slide inside her, and suddenly words don’t exist any more.

The sight of Chou Tzuyu impaled hilt-deep on your cock is like nothing else you’ve ever experienced, like nothing else you ever will. She’s feminine perfection, right here, on you, wrapped around you. 

Her head is tilted back, mouth open in a silent moan, eyes shut, brow furrowed, as though deep in concentration. Her breasts are perfect and round and her nipples taut. Her abs flex - defined, toned. And her thighs - perfect, full, flushed. She’s more than you can take. She’s more than you can keep.

It’s a feeling that is only intensified when she begins to move, begins to use those strong, firm thighs and hips of hers to move herself up and down your cock, slowly, with soft, measured movements. She lets herself get used to you, get used to that delicious stretch of you inside her. It’s painful, in a way, how slowly she’s moving - it takes more self-control than you’d care to admit not to just hold her hips down and piston into the wonderful slickness of her cunt.

But hurting her was the last thing you wanted. If only she’d known how much she was hurting you. You wonder if she would stop if she knew. You wonder if she would even care.

Eventually she ups her pace as her body molds itself around you. She’s beginning to sigh and gasp now, mostly on the downstroke as your cock slides inside her, spreading her apart and stretching her out, sending shocks of pleasure throughout both your bodies with each entry. Your hands are firm on her hips, resisting for now the temptation to reach up and play with her softly bouncing breasts, or pull her back down onto your cock with more force. You’re content, feeling her, watching her take her pleasure from you.

Watching her use you.

Tzuyu feels your eyes on her, roaming her body, drinking in the sight of her. One hand reaches up to her breasts, capturing one, teasing the taut nipple for a moment with long, dainty fingertips, giving you a show. Eventually she brings both her hands to her scalp, gathering her hair, pulling it above her head and holding it there. She’s a vision, then and there - her hands above her head, back arching, breasts bouncing wildly as she continues to ride you.

“Jesus, Tzuyu,” you spit, the profanities tumbling from your mouth before you even knew you were speaking them. “Fuck, you’re perfect.”

She lets her hair fall from the top of her head in a chocolate waterfall. Her hands cup her own breasts, fingertips playing with her aching nipples.

“You like me like this, baby?” she hisses, a question she knows the answer to. “You like me like this, bouncing on your cock, all tight and wet for you?”

“Fuck, yes, Tzuyu, fuck.”

Her lips curl into a wicked smile, before her lower lip curls under a perfect white tooth. She lets something deep and guttural escape her throat behind her bitten lip.

She bends over you, hands on either side of your head, hair framing a face twisted in pleasure.

She ups her pace, riding you fiercely now, hips slamming down onto yours at a pace that is almost violent. Your hands grasp her thighs, fingers clawing into the soft flesh, feeling the muscles beneath them work to throw their owner against you over and over and over.

“Fuck me,” she snaps, and you oblige.

You thrust upward to meet her, timing each movement of your hips to match with the downstroke of hers, and soon you are slamming your bodies against each other at a merciless pace.

Tzuyu shrieks - loud, sharp. She swears and spits and she’s becoming a loud, mewling mess atop you, but throughout it all she manages to keep riding you, keep bouncing that perfect body of hers atop your cock. Her cunt pulsates, squeezes you like a velvet glove. She’s so wet, leaking with so much arousal, that every slamming of your hips against each other is muffled by the wet stickiness that has coated much of your lower bodies.

“Oh god, oh god, I-” she begins, each word punctuated with a thrust of your cock into her cunt. “Oh fuck, I, so good-”

You watch her, watch that perfect face of hers twist in pleasure, watch as that perfect body of hers takes your cock. Your brow furrows and your hips burn with the effort but you feel none of the fatigue, none of the weariness of the physical effort. All that matters is her pleasure. All that matters is making sure she-

“Cumming-” she hisses, just barely before she does. 

Her eyes shut, body stiffens, just as it did when she came on your mouth - and her cunt tightens wonderfully around your cock, pulsating, squeezing. You bury yourself inside her to the hilt, wanting to feel every second of her orgasming around you. You can feel the shocks of pleasure radiating from her, reaching her limbs, flooding her brain with sensation. 

When she remembers to breathe she lets out a long, drawn out breath. Her arms, shaky, finally give way and she collapses atop you, head next to yours. For a few long seconds she does nothing but breathe heavily against you, the gasps and sighs that leave her mouth loud against your ear. Your hands roam her sweat-slick back, fingertips tracing a path down her spine and pulling a soft sigh from her tired lips.

“God,” she says into your ear. “Fuck, that was so good, baby.”

You loved and hated when she called you that. It was a pet name for lovers - and she only used it during sex. She only ever called you by your first name anywhere outside the bedroom. Another reminder of the boundaries. Of the limits.

“You feel amazing, Tzuyu,” you say, truthfully. Her cunt is still pulsating softly around your painfully stiff cock as the last waves of her orgasm leave her body. The warm slickness of her around you made a pleasant distraction from your emotions. Pleasant, but not easy.

You feel her lips curl into that sly smile of hers again against your cheek. She plants a few kisses under your ear, tracing a path along your jaw, until she finds your lips. Her hips begin to move again, side to side - not taking you in and out of her body, but just moving you around, swirling your stiffness inside her.

“Your turn, baby,” she whispers, half-lidded eyes locked on yours. “How do you want to cum in me?”

You’d had her in every position imaginable over the time you’ve been fuck buddies. But you always enjoyed one of them more than the others.

“Want you from behind-” you begin. “-Tzu.” you finish, resisting the temptation to call her ‘baby.’ Some small, bitter part of you felt she didn’t deserve to be called that, not if she was going to tease you, hurt you with its use, make a weapon out of it that she wielded carelessly, inconsiderately.

Thankfully, she doesn’t notice your momentary hesitation - maybe she was still recovering from the high of her orgasm, or maybe she was too focused on gyrating her hips around the stiffness still hilt-deep inside her.

“Alright, baby,” she says, again, the word stinging even if it was laced with the sweet honey of her voice. The smile on her lips is proof of how oblivious she is to the damage she wreaks with each wreckless use of it. 

You didn’t blame her. How could you? How could you expect someone to know what you felt internally when you continually denied it externally?

You’d promised each other, when you first started this little arrangement, that you’d put an end to it if either of you found yourselves with anything even remotely resembling feelings for the other. But how could you end it, when you’re in her bed and you’re both naked and she’s wet and ready and on her hands and knees, looking over her shoulder at you, slick pink lips opening to say-

“Come take me, then.”

A stronger man would have ended this a long time ago. You were not that man, not today. You doubted there were many men in the world with that level of strength.

You bring yourself behind her, admiring the sight of her - perfect, as she always was, perfect in every sense of the world. She’s creamy skin and a tiny waist and those hips and thighs, my god, those hips and thighs. She’s there and wet and ready and wanting and who could say no?

You bring your tip to her opening, parting her lips with your head, swirling it, swiping it up and down her slick flesh, sending a shiver of pleasure into both of your bodies. She sighs and her back arches delightfully, the dip of her spine sharp and prominent in the low light of her bedroom. She mewls and sighs, her hips pushing back against you, needy, wanting.

“Fuck, baby, come on,” she sighs, she begs. 

You loved her voice, soft and light, like silk spun into air - but you loved it most when it was begging, needy.

Her hips continue to push against you, the round cheeks of her ass pressing against you, trying to pull you inside her herself. “Please,” she continues, airy and breathless. “Put it in me. Don’t you want my pussy? Don’t you want me?”

You did. You wanted her, but in more ways than this. Chou Tzuyu is on her hands and knees in front of you and she’s dripping wet and begging and somehow it’s not enough.

One of her hands slides down her body, and her fingertips part the slick lips of her pussy. She’s glistening and pink and pure distilled need, right there, right here, ready for you to take. 

And she doesn’t give a damn about your feelings, is blissfully oblivious to everything but the emptiness between her legs. All she wants is a fuck. That’s it. That’s all you are. You’re everything and nothing, all at once.

“Look how empty I am without you inside me, baby. Come fill me up.”

You slide inside her - how could you not, after hearing that? She’s so tight and hot and wet, and you forget, momentarily, everything other than the feel of her cunt wrapped around you.

You fuck her - hard, firm, your pace fuelled more than you would care to admit by a darkness inside you that you weren’t proud to admit to. Jealousy, of some man you’d never met, some man who made her feel like you never could? Anger, at her, for not seeing how you felt about her, how amazing you could be together?

Whatever it was, it was ugly and came from a dark place, and you didn’t want to acknowledge it. But you fuck Chou Tzuyu with it running through your veins - fast, hard. And she sighs and moans and thinks you’re just especially turned on today, want a harder fuck than usual. She doesn’t know any better. Doesn’t know that you’re using her body the way you are, as an outlet for your frustration and anger as much as an outlet for your pleasure.

You reach forward, running your fingers through her hair with a surprising gentleness, even as your cock hammers in and out of her body, rocking it, pounding her.

Then your fingers close, pull. She yelps, gasps.

Her spine arcs sharply backward as you pull backward on her hair. You use her hair like a leash, pulling back as you thrust forward. Tzuyu can do nothing but take it, her body given to you fully. The spasming and quivering of her cunt around you is evidence of her acceptance, her submission. 

Your hips slap wetly against her ass with each hard thrust you make into her tight, slick pussy. The bedroom fills with it - flesh hitting flesh, wordless sighs and moans that turn into begging, profanity, name calling - the lewd soundtrack of sex.

“Fuck, fuck,” Tzuyu manages, “You’re so fucking deep, fuck, more, fuck me more-”

You shut her up. The hand pulling her hair wraps around her scalp, pushes her face down onto the bed. You pin her down, your palm flat against the back of her neck and upper shoulders. Throughout it all you are fucking her, using her, just as she uses you, even if it’s for different reasons, with entirely different depths of emotion.

Her mouth muffled against the bed, she’s unable to say or do much more. And you prefer her this way, because every word she says - even the ones that spur you into fucking her harder, faster, deeper - will only make it harder to leave her when you’re done.

Not that you needed much motivation to fuck her the way she liked - hard, deep, but not wild or uncontrolled. You maintain your pace, enjoying the way her cunt squeezed and tightened rhythmically around you. Tzuyu knew how to communicate with her body, knew how to tell you exactly what she wanted without words.

You watch her beneath you, relished the sight of her helpless and unable to do much of anything but take your cock again and again. Her moans and sighs are muffled by the cotton of her bedsheets, but you heard enough of them to tell you you were hitting just the right spots inside her. She’s under you and she’s yours and you do your best to stay in the moment, enjoy the feeling of her wrapped around you.

You feel that feeling in your core, the telltale building of pleasure in your gut that heralds your impending orgasm, tells you to fuck her harder and deeper and bury your cum inside her. She must have felt it too, somehow, in the slightly more erratic rhythm of your thrusts, or the tighter grip of your palm against the back of her neck.

Tzuyu turns her head enough to clear her mouth of the bedsheets, despite your palm on the back of her neck.

“Fucking cum in me,” she hisses, “Please cum inside me. Make me yours.”

The perfect words, on any other night - but on this night they only hurt you. 

Because she isn’t yours, might never be. Tomorrow, she might be another man’s. Even as you thrust harder and harder and your orgasm comes closer and closer all you can think of is how empty this feels, how even if she’s under you and taking your cum she’s not what you want her to be, what you need her to be.

But for a moment, a fleeting, blissful moment, you forget all that. Your hand leaves the back of her neck to join the other one at her hips, pulling her hips back against yours as you crest your peak, burying yourself inside her and letting go.

She moans as she feels you pulse inside her, each movement of your cock signifying another rope of warm, thick cum that fills her thirsty, needy little cunt. You give her a few more short, sharp thrusts before you bury yourself inside her for the last time. She’s so fucking full of you that your juices begin to overflow from her stuffed pussy, around the lips still tightly wrapped around your shaft, down your balls and her flushed thighs.

Time freezes, becomes irrelevant, and for a few blessed minutes you forget everything about the way you feel about Chou Tzuyu.

When your senses return and your brain has recovered long enough to process thought, the first thing you’re aware of is her voice.

“Fuck,” she’s saying, “God, that was… god.” And then she’s saying your name, and it makes you wince, as though hearing her say it caused you pain. 

You slip out of her, and she winces herself - although hers is borne of the emptiness you’ve left inside her and not out of any deeper emotion. She makes no effort to get off her hands and knees, staying frozen there, her ass in the air like some lewd testament to the sinful acts you’ve just committed. You watch, absent-mindedly, as your cum drips from her well-fucked cunt, down her thighs, staining her bed.

Eventually she falls onto her side, facing you. You’re sitting there, on your knees on the bed, watching her. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes are glassy. She’s so perfect, so desirable - and you curse yourself for the millionth time that night that you lacked both the wisdom to find the words to say and the courage to say them.

But it doesn’t matter, because you’re not the guy she wants, not the one she’s waiting for a call from. And that’s when it hits you, dark and ugly and painful - you wonder if she were pretending you were him this whole time, pretending it was his cock fucking her, making her cum, cumming in her, using you like some fucktoy replacement for the real thing.

You turn away from her, as though the very sight of her were somehow painful to you, despite the fogginess of your post-orgasm haze. Before you know it, you’re climbing off the bed, finding your pants on the floor, throwing them on.

“Are you-?” she begins, her words soft as you find your t-shirt and button-up, throwing them on.

“I, uh, I have to get back to the party,” you stammer, hoping she would buy your flimsy excuse for an exit. But you had to leave, had to do anything to get out of that room. The thought of losing her, the thought of this being your last time together - it hurt, it was too much, and every fibre of you screamed to get away from it.

“Oh,” she says, softly. You turn to find that she’s sitting up on the bed now, her arms wrapping around her knees.

“There’s, uh, my friend, he, he introduced me to this girl,” you mumble, fabricating a story, trying to come up with some way to hurt her, just as she’s hurt you. “I told her I’d, uh, get back to the party. She likes me, I think,” you add, the words tasting like ashes in your mouth.

“Right,” she says, surprise and something else in her low voice. Her knees come up closer to her chest. “So, um, hey, about that guy-”

“Good luck with him,” you spit, cutting her off, afraid of what you might hear if you let her continue. “Uh, let me know how it goes.”

There’s a short silence, one that drags on for longer than you’d like. You don’t look up at her, unable to muster the courage to do so. You fumble with your shirt buttons, fingers numb.

“Sure,” she says, finally. “I… I think I’m going to call him tomorrow.”

“Right. I, uh, I should go. I’ll. Uh. I’ll talk to you later,” you say, as you turn towards her bedroom door.

You think you hear her say something, a couple of words.

Your eyes finally look up at her, but she’s looking away. You look for confirmation on her face, but she’s turned away from you, and her expression is unreadable. She suddenly looks small and vulnerable.

“Did- did you say something, Tzuyu?”

“Nothing,” she says, a hand pressed against the side of her face, her eyes shut, as though she were suddenly fighting a headache. But just as quickly it appears, it’s gone, and Tzuyu manages a weak smile, even if there’s no happiness or mirth in her eyes. “It’s nothing. Be safe getting back to the party, okay? And don’t forget your jacket - it’s cold outside. Let me know when you get there.”

“I, I will, Tzuyu,” you say, words shaky, unsure. “See ya.”

You leave her, leave her hot, stifling apartment.

The night is cold.

Author’s Note: High five to you if you guess what she said.

[filmnings]

“You both may be on Earth, one old and one new human soul linked as one, but you know this is what it means to be higher than even the immensity of heaven.” OH MY GODDDD??????

i’m sorry it took literal ages for me to read this but i’m so happy that i was finally able to!!! this was so so so good!!! hehe i also loved all the names of the dogs and cats that was so cute~~ (ＴｗＴ。)♡

higher than heaven | 𝐜𝐬𝐛

୨୧ pairing: choi soobin x fem!reader ୨୧ word count: 10.3k ୨୧ genre: fluff, angst, smut ୨୧ tags: guardian angel!soobin, human!reader, mutual pining, sexual tension, dirty talking, nipple play, chest worship, fingering, unprotected sex ୨୧ synopsis: Soobin, your devoted guardian angel, has one singular purpose in his ethereal existence: to bring your heart's deepest desires to life. Unbeknownst to him, his mere presence fulfills that desire. Yet, the lingering question remains— how can he effectively transform your most intimate dreams into reality? ♬ playlist: iris | nightly, dizzy | yueku, unbreakable | jamie scott, monsters | joan, feel every bit | the ivy, infinitely falling | fly by midnight, kiss my scars | august royals, next to me | peter fenn, hideaway | jacob collier, salvation | gabrielle aplin, magic island | tomorrow x together ⟢ AUTHOR'S NOTE: First fic of 2025! I’d like to thank @lovetaroandtaemin, @chugging-antiseptic-dye, @ylangelegy, @gyubakeries, and @xomakara for beta-reading this fic for me, I know it was a quick journey and I appreciate every one of you who followed the story from the beginning to the end 🤍.

The time fills as plastic shot glasses and empty solo cups discarded into trash bags. Some stragglers of the party lay on the couch or floor, but you pass by them with ease. You sigh before Beomgyu stops you with a sharp tug. "Dude, you don't have to help me. You're supposed to be one of my guests!"

"I'm just avoiding the inevitable tomorrow. And if you come into the shelter late because you procrastinated cleaning your own apartment, I may just kill you."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it, boss.” He rolls his eyes and unfurls the empty bag you had between your hands moments before. You giggle in earnest.

“If I get a single text, Gyu–”

“Why don’t you enjoy the early morning hours of New Year's and get out of here?" He shoves you towards the door of his apartment with an "I love you” to follow you out, determined to do what you swear he won't without your help.

Beomgyu may be your childhood friend, but habits hold on tight with him. It’s clear from the three years he’s worked at your animal shelter. Your parents always said he has good intentions, although he’s brash in decision-making. "The kid just asks for forgiveness more than permission most of the time," your dad would joke, and Beomgyu wouldn’t disagree.

Your parents’ words replay in your head on the walk home. You hear every piece of parental advice with each step on the cobblestones, the clack or your heels accompanying every word. It's customary on New Years to feel the ache of their absence so strongly. Your thoughts of them are as vivid as the pain of their loss. It seems to haunt you more with every year that passes.

One day, you had been tagging new intakes and cleaning food bowls like normal. The next you were receiving the call that your parents had been in a fatal car accident. Every space they inhabited, including the shelter, felt colder, quieter, a little less like home. Even your own house twenty minutes from your job barely felt like your own.

Five years of grief made the pain manageable, but on nights like tonight, it doesn’t feel like you’ve made much progress..

The cold of January accompanies the repetitive emotional and mental cycle you're on. The weather bites with a hard set of teeth, almost more brutal than the traces of sadness you feel in your heart.

You don’t realize amid the somber trek home how close the surrounding shadows are, one of a stranger within an arm’s distance.

Your animals greet you at your door with perky barks and whooshing tails. Mina and Minho, your two tabby cats, seem to be delighted that you’re back, but save the ecstatic greetings for their canine siblings. Key, your senior chihuahua, does what he can energy-wise compared to Bori, your labrador mix.

“Bobo, please,” you beg as she jumps up on you when you kneel at her eye-level. It’s all a mess of slobbering tongue and eager pants with her. Once she’s done, you rub Key between the ears to give him some affection.

Even your hedgehog, Rio, taps against the glass of his enclosure to say hello to you. It’s almost like every pair of animal eyes asks you how the party went and why you left them alone for so long.

You can’t supply them with an answer, because you notice the person-shaped figure at your kitchen counter, silent and clouded in darkness. The sight makes you release a decibel-breaking scream.

You grab an umbrella from the iron wrack near your door and charge to the kitchen, expecting Key and Bori to follow you and bark aggressively at the intruder. They don’t, but they do pad behind you in curiosity at your strange actions.

They barely react at all when you turn on the light in the small kitchen. The new illumination reveals the black-haired stranger dressed in white. He says nothing, but holds a smile of mirth on his face at your line of defense. He's neither scrawny nor muscular, but towers over you to a surreal degree. 

You think you can take him if you have the element of surprise, but with the alcohol still buzzing through your veins, you may lack complete hand-eye coordination. It’s anyone’s guess.

“What do you want? If you’re looking for money, you got the wrong house, buddy.” You say with a steady voice, aiming the sharpest point of the umbrella in his direction.

He smiles wide, pearly teeth and a set of dimples almost blinding you. “I’m Soobin.”

His lack of an answer and warm smile throw you off. It’s definitely not the reaction anyone expects from a burglar. Maybe the guy's intoxication is even greater than yours, enabling him to enter someone's home without permission. No matter the reasons, you don’t release your hold on the umbrella. You stare him down hard despite your shaking hands.

“Well…Soobin…I don’t know what you want, but you’re not gonna find it here.”

“I’m in the exact place I need to be.” He says your name with the same level of warmth that remains in his smile, but your blood runs cold at the fact he is aware of who you are. Was he stalking you? Had he stopped by the animal shelter while you were too busy to make a mental note of him? “Put down the umbrella and we–”

“Get the fuck out of my house, you creep!” You raise the umbrella as high as you can before it falls on his head, shoulders, or any location on his body that will stun him. He knows it’s coming, though.

Soobin somehow materializes right in front of you before you can step forward, taking your wrists gently in one hand to stop you. “There’s no need for that. I’m not here to harm you.”

You struggle in his hold, trying your hardest to release yourself from his grip with all of your might. Then, you freeze, unsure of how both his speed and his lack of alarm to your furry animals makes any logical sense.

Soobin senses your lack of effort to go through with your attack and lets go of you, taking a small breath of air. “Will you drop the umbrella?”

“Once you tell me what you are,” you whisper. “My dogs would have ripped off your ankles by now, but they didn’t. Why?”

Soobin chuckles, but you feel anything but humorous. “The why to that question is a bit hard to explain. But I can tell you why I’m here.” He runs a hand through his hair, suddenly bashful. “Let’s just say I have a mission to complete.”

Soobin sits at one end of the couch, hands in his lap, while you sit on the other. Your dogs lay at the edge of the couch, snoring peacefully now that the chaos is over. Your knees sit tight against your chest, still guarding yourself from him or any potential advances he may make.

You may not think he wants to kill or rob you anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re immediately trusting of the stranger. One that is no doubt breathtaking, but still hiding his intentions.

You size him up, still unsure how or why the guy is familiar with you when you’ve never seen him before. He can barely provide you with an adequate answer for the questions that pop into your head.

Where are you from? How do you know me? Have we ever met before?

He chuckles at each one, continuing on with the same reflexive response. “Proprietary information.”

You roll your eyes. “Every time you say that, you sound like some kind of spy.” You move closer to his spot on the couch, looking at him with more intensity than before. 

The analysis makes him laugh even more, his cheeks turning pink. “I’m not an alien, if that was your second guess.”

“That’s not what I was thinking!”

He quirks an eyebrow at you. “You look like you’re about to cut me open with a scalpel.”

Your lips transform into a firm line. “Should I want to, Soobin? Maybe you’re saying you’re not an alien to throw me off.”

“Trust me, I am not an extraterrestrial. Not cool enough.”

You can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous situation you find yourself in, matching the smile on Soobin’s face with your own. An hour ago, you were about to kill him in self-defense for what you assumed was a classic break-in scenario. Now, you’re laughing with your would-be victim. This has to be the most peculiar first day of the year you’ve ever had.

He claps his hands softly on his white denim jeans. “We should call it a night. You’re probably tired. I can explain more tomorrow, if you’d like.”

You look around your house, unsure where Soobin is planning to stay for the next few hours. The one-bed-and-bath cottage is anything but roomy, most of your space taken up by work supplies or your animals’ stuff.

He senses your trepidation and grins. “Don’t worry, I can come back in the morning.”

You suck in a breath. Most of you feels relief, but there’s a small inkling of sadness that pervades your emotions. You barely know Soobin, but his presence provides a warmth that your home has been missing.

It has to be the last traces of alcohol and the simmering grief still in your system.

“Okay. I have work in the morning, but–”

“I’ll be here before you have to leave,” Soobin cuts you off. He holds his hand out in a goodbye, and you take it. His soft palm meets yours and heats your skin, and you have to cut the parting short to not feel any more flustered.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, love.” He leaves you with one more grin before he exits, confusing you further. 

The touch of his fingertips on you follows you into sleep, his skin the last coherent sensation you have before it all goes black.

There is a murky quality to the dream you find yourself in. You’re surrounded by grey, the color’s opacity fading only partly as the details become clearer.

The room around you looks more like a cavern than a traditional room. It’s made of stone, cavelike and primitive. The entrance to the area is too vast for a normal door. It’s almost as if you could step out and fall into nothing but clouds. The world outside is a mixture of inky blacks and dark blues, signifying nighttime outside the four rocky walls.

You look back to the inside of the space. It holds a desk covered with paperwork and photographs. You’re alone, standing in the center of it all, but too far away from the papers on the table to see any information.

Before you can step closer, Soobin enters with a blonde man hot on his heels. They both walk right through you, seemingly not noticing your presence at all as they continue their discussion. 

They emit their own light somehow, the room nowhere near as dark as when you were alone inside of it.

“If you fail at this, Yeonjun will demote you and have no qualms about doing it.” The blonde man ruffles his hair in frustration, and inches closer to Soobin. They clearly have a close relationship, from the concern on the stranger’s face to the hand that he rests on Soobin's shoulder. “You’ve worked too hard to lose everything, Soobin.”

“I know, Hyuka,” Soobin says in a somber tone, sorting through the papers on his desk. “But she needs me now more than ever. And I know I can help. And if I succeed, I can actually—“

“I get it. We’re just not supposed to get involved unless we’re certain about it. You know this.”

Soobin sighs. “You didn’t see her, Kai. I have to.”

The man named Kai exhales a deep breath and walks away, his pleas seeming to hit a brick wall. The last thing he says, “I hope you know what you’re risking,” barely makes it to your ears. All you notice before Kai’s departure is the unfurling of wings from his back, the white and gray feathers spouting from the tendons just below his shoulders.

You scream when he drops from the entrance, his wings carrying him away. You don’t care if the sound alerts either of the two men, not after witnessing such an unrealistic moment.

You scream again when you hear the unfurling of Soobin’s wings, the sound almost whipping you onto your back from the gust his wings emit. They’re dark grey, larger than Kai’s are. They create such long-casting shadows that you have no question now what Soobin is or where he comes from.

The word replays in your mind as the surrounding scene dematerializes and you wake up with a rapid heartbeat: an angel.

Soobin waits at your door in the same white button-up and jeans he had on the night prior. You welcome him inside, and he looks more ethereal somehow in daylight. 

The dream hits you again with its full force, the image of his grey wings flashing across your memory.

“So, you’re an angel,” You say, filling the space between you both with a new tension. The anxiety only permeates from you; Soobin exudes an air of calm instead, despite your accusation.

He almost ticks his head down in a nod as he responds with the words, “Proprietary information.”

You nod your head and gulp hard. Somehow, the aura around you and the subtext in his expression tells you what you know to be true.

He showed you all you needed to know last night through your dreams, a miraculous loophole to the restrictions placed upon him.

When you’re finally ready to go to work, the morning chores around the house finished before Soobin even made it to your doorstep, you look over at the man in front of you again with trepidation. The white attire may lead to a multitude of questions that you and Soobin cannot answer.

“What? Is there something on my face?” Soobin asks, confused.

You laugh and shake your head, any residual tension from your realization broken. “You look a bit too…uniform for the shelter.”

“Oh! Well…” He blushes, unsure how to respond.

An idea pops into your head when his words come up short. “I may have some old stuff that’ll fit you.”

“Why is the rando wearing your dad’s windbreaker?” Beomgyu asks while cleaning Jin, the newest adoptee at the shelter. His eyes peer over at Soobin filling some food bowls with kibble. Soobin’s presence fills the space the same way it did in your house.

He wears your dad’s long-sleeve shirt, windbreaker, and khaki pants well. Despite his freakishly tall height, the clothes don’t look small on him, and you’re relieved he’s able to fit in like any normal guy with the change in wardrobe.

You scoff, continuing to fill out the documents for Jin’s tag and vaccinations without looking up at your friend. “Soobin’s new in town and lost everything on the plane ride here. He just needed to borrow some stuff until his luggage gets delivered.”

Beomgyu nods, still concerned. He goes back to scrubbing Jin’s coat with the anti-tick shampoo, and you leave his spot at the cleaning station to stand beside Soobin.

“You do this every day? These bags are heavy, even for me.” Soobin grunts and clips the bag closed.

“I usually make Gyu or another volunteer do it. But you saved me the trouble of asking.” You smirk and take two of the bowls in your hands. “Want to help me feed the dogs?”

Soobin’s eyes light up, and he nods. You wonder as you walk to the cages if he’s ever interacted with animals before he left his home in the skies.

Since you were a kid, the shelter has always been a part of your daily regimen. Once college was out of the way, you had a stable job waiting for you to practice your veterinary degree on. While some could only handle so many cat scratches, dog poops, and absurd origin stories, it made every day worth it in your eyes. And the fact that you had a history with tending to furry friends with your parents only made it more worthwhile to continue doing.

The second you open the cages to let the dogs eat, you recognize how natural Soobin is at the job. He talks to them in a childlike voice and rubs their bellies as they munch on kibble and necessary medicines you give in between feeding. Even the dogs with the rougher backgrounds take to Soobin like a bee to honey, the warmth he naturally exudes relaxing them.

He truly is an angel, you realize, and not just in the literal sense.

You lock up the shelter for the day with a lot less weight on your shoulders thanks to Soobin. “I might as well give you the keys to this place. It suits you well,” you joke.

Soobin tucks his hands into his windbreaker, smiling hard. “It just came easy, I guess. Animals aren’t like people. They don’t have to hide behind words. It’s all about energy.”

You look at him as you walk away from the building together, your face softened from his words. “My mom always used to say stuff like that. To her, animals were the bestest friends you could ever ask for. She’d say it’s like they see into your soul.”

Soobin grins. “She seems lovely.”

You swallow hard, balling your hands into fists inside your jacket. It’s not anger that permeates your body now, not the way it used to. All that exists is the reality that their words are simply memories. “She was. My dad too. That place was their second home.” You wave your arm in the direction of the shelter. The building diminishes from view as you round the corner to head home. “And mine, too.”

“Did you envision this being your life?” Soobin asks, the question taking you by surprise. “I don’t mean to pry.”

“No, it’s okay!” You laugh. “I mean—I love working with the animals every day, and I have great friends. It just can be very routine sometimes, like there’s this gap that I can’t fill.” You hold back the more intimate details of your desires to Soobin, still guarded and uncertain of being so vulnerable so soon.

He steps closer, the walk becoming more intimate with his shoulder almost brushing yours. “You’ve been alone for quite a while. It’s understandable to want to share your life with someone.”

You blush hard, a mixture of the January cold and his correct assumptions building a steady heat on your cheeks. “That’s what most people want, I guess.”

Eyes widening, you realize now why Soobin may be discussing these things with you. Could his super secret mission, which he discussed the night you met, relate to right now?

“No fucking way,” you whisper to yourself, stopping on the stone street. Soobin only gets a few paces farther than you before he stops.

“Is there something wrong?” He asks, his eyebrows drawn up and his mouth in a small O that you would normally giggle at.

Now, you have no time for humor.

“Did you come here because of the stupid wish I made on New Year’s Eve?”

“Taehyun, if you give me another shot, I will throw up!” You exclaim in a fit of giggles, three drinks already in your system over the last hour and a half. His girlfriend, Kazuha, stands by your side as she downs the shot in her hand, her mouth puckering as she swallows it down. “Zu, I thought you were the DD tonight!”

“Fuck it, I’ll call an Uber.” She winks and chases the shot with a sip of beer. Beomgyu wades through the throng of people in his living room to join all of you in the kitchen.

“Taking shots without me? That’s a party foul.”

“Whatever, man. It’s not like we can’t make more.” Taehyun passes him one filled with tequila to catch up, and Beomgyu downs it in the next second. By the time the buzz of the drinks hits your head, Jungwon barrels into the kitchen with his own girlfriend Yeri to tell you all that the ball is dropping.

Everyone crowds around the television to watch the remaining minute of the year play out. The strangers around you scream out the last seconds, others speak in a drunken lilt.

You turn to your friends, somehow the only person without someone attached to their hip. Beomgyu is holding a random girl's shoulder, while your other friends stand closely together in their respective couples, watching the countdown..

“Four, three, two, one! Happy New Year!” Beomgyu says the words into his date’s neck before kissing her roughly on the lips. Your other friends have their own celebratory make-out sessions. You feel like an intruder as they all enjoy the moment in their respective couples.

You’ve never been a grouch about your single status, not once. But it felt like a part of you was missing out with little of a choice in the matter. Whether by the confines of chance or love simply not being meant for you for the past twenty-seven years, you can only be comfortable for so long before the pain of solitude drains you dry.

Was it so awful to want to find someone to share funny videos with? To talk to about days at the shelter when a cute animal comes in and needs a loving home? When days are heavy on your heart and you need the one you love the most to lift you up and make it all evaporate with a simple “I love you”? To make every struggle and hardship, no matter how big or small, worth it?

And so, with only a drunken mind and heart to listen to your deepest whims, you wish for what seems the most out of reach as your eyes line with tears: a soulmate to bridge the gap between your loneliness and true fulfillment.

When the reality of why Soobin’s here hits you, you can’t help but release one of the loudest laughs you’ve ever emitted before.

“You have to be fucking kidding me,” you say with exasperated breaths, all the air in your lungs saved mostly for your laughter. “You came all the way from up there to play matchmaker?”

Soobin chuckles to himself, the sounds that leave his lips a lot quieter than yours. “You make it sound so childish.”

“Can you blame me?” You ask. “I don’t need help in that department!”

Soobin gives you a knowing look, hitting you somewhere deep in the chest. “Then I wouldn’t be here, would I?”

“Okay, don’t speak in riddles to me!”

“I’m just stating facts, love.”

You roll your eyes, and Soobin laughs again. “So you’re magically going to find me the perfect partner after only knowing me for 48 hours?”

“I’ve known you for much longer than that.” He steps even closer to you, your fingers brushing his as he stands a few inches from you. “But again, it’s—“

“Proprietary information, I get it,” you whisper. You cough into your fist and glide past him, the moment broken. “Either way, I am just fine with or without a boyfriend, Soobin.”

He follows behind without a word, but you sense his smile without looking at him. Jerk.

Soobin has helped many people in his immortal life. It’s an existence he couldn’t fill in just one book. He’d have to go back centuries to the very moment he started his work as a guardian. His life began long before that, but his true merits came when he started helping those who needed supernatural guidance.

He’s seen from his eagle’s eye view many heartbreaks, losses, successes, and love stories, but nothing as encapsulating as the story of your life.

You were a vision to see the first time you held an animal in your hands, hands tepid but heart full from the creature giving all of its affection to you for you to reciprocate wholeheartedly. He was in awe of you when you stepped across the stage with your degree, eager to put all the knowledge you gained about medicine to a good use. And his ever-still heart ached with yours the second you got that phone call in November five years ago, wanting nothing more than to catch you before your knees hit the tile below.

You’re the one assignment he’s kept too close an eye on, the others in his caseload not holding his focus so strongly. He succumbed to forbidden desires, wishes he knew were unattainable.

But the second he felt your heart break on the one night he knew he could seize the chance to step over the border between Heaven and Earth, he chose the only option that felt right: he had to leave home and heal what needed to be mended inside of you a long time ago.

He watches you help the teenage girl adopting her first pet with immense adoration. 

You check off the supplies needed for Jin and all the vaccines the dog will need moving forward with clinical focus. It’s admirable how dedicated you are to your work, not caring if it went beyond the bounds of a traditional work-life balance.

And when you wave the teenager and her parents out the door and turn to him with a signature eye-roll, he can’t stop the way his skin heats. Your gaze in his direction screams: How long are you going to keep pestering me?

Forever, he says to himself with a hell of a lot of hope.

When you’re both alone in the shelter, one hour after you’re closed for the day, you sweep the floors in a huff. “I am telling you I do not need you to play matchmaker for me.”

“You keep saying that and yet I’m still here, love,” Soobin tuts, flipping through the magazine on top of your desk. He sits at the chair opposite from the receptionist counter so casually, feet crossed and casual despite his heart yearning to explain everything to you.

I’m here because I can’t take any more of your pain. Because someone deserves to know how special you are. Because I—

“I can find a date without your help. Beomgyu already took up that role a long time ago. He’s been pestering me about going out with his friend Heeseung for months. So there.” You stick your tongue out at him and continue sweeping.

Soobin chuckles to himself and flips to another page of the magazine, but he can’t deny how his focus remains on you, the center of his attention, for longer than he expected.

“Lee Heeseung, twenty-two. Works at the ramen shop downtown. Entirely incompatible with you. Just for your information.”

You stop sweeping and aim an accusatory eye at him. “And that’s not proprietary information how?”

“I’m not looking out for him. And that only took a couple of Google searches to figure out, love.”

By the time you lock up the store, Soobin is in the habit of checking the door behind you to make sure you didn’t miss the back door or forget to close the play-gate on the way out. Two weeks of observing your routine up close has given him incredible intel, and not just into your schedule.

“Let’s walk past downtown,” Soobin suggests, taking your hand and walking through a new pattern of alleyways and cobblestone paths. 

You’re unsure why this route that adds another ten minutes to your walk is worth the trouble, but you take his advice, anyway. He’s your angel for a reason, after all.

“Soobin, unless you suddenly got a hankering for human food, we really should—“

You knock into someone’s shoulders hard; the impact sends you to the gravel. Soobin vanishes from view, his name on your tongue the second you recognize that you’re on the ground.

A pair of hands that aren’t Soobin’s, more calloused and robust, lift you up off the ground.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have been standing so close to the alleyway.”

A beautiful pair of brown eyes gaze at yours, and it stops you dead in your tracks. The stranger’s brown hair falls over his face in a mess of free curls, some of them tinged with sweat. He wears a baking apron around his waist; flour and, you presume, icing cover his shirt.

You look at the building next to you, the pastel pink sign reading “Gyu’s Baked Goods” beaming over your head. And you turn back to the man in question, the baker himself as his hands keep you sturdy on your scraped feet.

“It’s totally fine. I’m the one who should be sorry. I mean, I wasn’t looking anyway and I—“

“No, you don’t have to apologize. This is what I get for taking a smoke break when I have cupcakes to make, right?” The baker chuckles and releases you. Your heart thumps at a rapid tempo when he holds his hand out to you. “I’m Mingyu. Sorry I’m built like a mountain.”

You chuckle and take his hand, the handshake gentle for the size of his palm. It reminds you of a sturdy fireplace, strong but tender. “Pleased to meet you. Apologies for having the build of a leaf.”

Soobin looks on with a knot in his stomach from an opposite alleyway. The process has begun, and he cannot halt its progress. No matter if he wants to be the one in the human male’s place.

Soobin watches on as Mingyu stands with you by the kennels, acid simmering on his tongue from watching the two of you in such a chummy position.

He clutches the novel in his hands with intense pressure, on the edge of ripping pages between his fingers. For the past week and a half, you and Mingyu have spent time together as new acquaintances, giving Sobbing time to read mortal literature.

He should be happy for you; his initial plan to find someone who fits your life and wishes so well is going perfectly. Yet why does he wish he could rewind time and take it back?

To your pleasure and Soobin’s secret dismay, Mingyu’s surprise gift of homemade mini animal treats made the day an amazing experience for all three of you.

You pay no mind to Soobin’s sudden and off-putting sulking as you show Mingyu around the animal shelter, your new friend interested in your job as much as you’re intrigued by him.

Beomgyu saunters up to Soobin with a bag of kibble in his hands, clicking his tongue. “It’s tough, isn’t it, man?”

Soobin huffs and looks at the younger man, the aura around your friend similar to his back home. If only Kai could see him now, grumbling and pouting like a kicked puppy. 

“What is?”

“Seeing the girl you like with someone else. I mean, she’s pretty great so I get it.”

Soobin rolls his eyes and goes back to the novel in his hands to distract himself. His jaw ticks when he hears your laughter. The sound creates such a beautiful symphony to his ears, but it’s not reserved for him at the moment, and it makes his stomach turn. “You’re wrong.”

“Okay, dude. I get it. None of my business.” Beomgyu lifts the bag over his shoulder and starts walking, but looks back at Soobin with a smirk. “But maybe it might be mutual if you gave it a shot.”

Soobin scoffs at the kid, and then at himself for the split second he entertains the idiot’s idea. Soobin can pine all he wants, but he knows the boundaries. A multitude of reasons prevent this line from ever being crossed.

He may have incredibly powerful feelings for you, but they’re hidden away and unable to reach the light of day. Not just because he has a strategy for you and Mingyu, but he is not an acceptable suitor because he doesn’t belong here, simply put. Earth is only a temporary stay on his list. And when he goes back and reports to Yeonjun of his success, who knows what will happen?

All he knows is that your paths will cross only once in his and your lifetime, and never again.

Soobin almost remains stuck in his misery until you walk up to him with an orange icing-colored dog bone treat in your hands. You hold it out to him with a shy smile. “For you.”

He smirks, taking the snack from you and rotating it between his fingers. “Isn’t this for the dogs, love?”

And the signature eye roll comes, your bottom lip between your teeth as you do it. “They’re organic. Anyone can eat them.” You look back at him directly, suddenly concerned. “You can eat, right?”

He chuckles. Nodding his head, he looks back at the snack. “Just not sure if I’ll like it.”

You stick your tongue out at him. “Just try it, please?”

Reluctantly, he bites down. Sweet potatoes and carrots, harmoniously blended, flood his mouth. The icing and pinch of cinnamon provides the perfect level of sweetness to round it all out, and Soobin groans. Even the dog treats the guy makes are perfect.

“Okay, it’s pretty great,” Soobin admits, taking another bite. “Even if they’re meant for dogs.”

You laugh and take a tiny corner for yourself. “At least you can say you’ve eaten a dog bone.”

Soobin’s tender smile makes you blush, and it stirs up all the feelings you’ve suppressed when you’re not in his presence. Mingyu’s a welcome distraction from it all. His looks and personality are undeniably attractive, but you always circle back to the angel in your midst.

Who can blame you? He’s ethereal, his magnetism undeniable. But that warmth he’s had from the first day you met is why you can only stay away for so long. He’s a part of your world now, and you can’t imagine that changing in the foreseeable future.

He’s made his place on Earth with you, and you dread the day he has to go back to where he belongs.

The end of January brings the last time for branches to stay vacant of leaves. You notice the small sprouts of leaves amidst the brown limbs as you and Soobin walk back to your house. You bite back a smile, and Soobin comments on it.

It’s like he clenches your heart between his fingers as he says it. “You always hide your excitement like nobody should be watching. Like it’s wrong to be happy about the little things.”

You blush while strolling beside him. “It’s not that I’m hiding it. Maybe I just don’t think anyone will get why I’m happy about certain things.”

Soobin bumps you with his shoulder, a close-mouthed smile on his lips. “Try me.”

You exhale a breath to get your bearings. “Okay, so everyone is always excited about the start of the new year. But then it’s like the excitement dies down and we just go on our merry way until the next holiday comes up. It’s not in the days for me. It’s the environment that always makes me feel the shift, you know?

“Like with animals, almost. The energy is unique, and I feel it when I see the colors and feel the temperature fluctuate.” You shake your head and tuck a stray hair behind your ear. “That may sound stupid, but—“

Soobin stops you on the open sidewalk, taking your hand in his. He looks into your eyes earnestly, wanting you to take his words to heart before he says them. “Nothing you’ve ever said to me is stupid, love. Every thought you have is beautiful because it’s yours.”

Like the town greenery, something shifts inside of you then. Even on the rest of the walk home and the talk over dinner about the day at the shelter, you sense an unfamiliar emotion swirling in the air between you and Soobin. You can’t name it, but it reminds you of the first blooms of spring, brimming with promise.

The first week of February comes in a tidal wave. Many people flood the animal shelter looking for the perfect furry friend to complete their family on the cusp of Valentine’s Day.

All you can hope for is that a majority of them, or at least fifty percent, don’t come back to the shelter after the holiday is over to return the animals looking for forever homes. 

That was the one thing that bugged you the most about this job: biting your tongue at the obvious lack of responsibility people put into owning pets.

It holds more weight than anyone knows, bringing another being in your home to tend to like a child. The only difference is that many of them have histories that deserve more care than normal, and some don’t want to put in the right amount of effort.

You sit on these thoughts as Soobin holds the newest cat to the shelter in his hands. “Have you thought of a name for Mr. Cat yet?” Soobin inspects the spot near the cat’s tail. “Or Missus?”

You giggle and grab the clipboard with the cat’s information on it. “He’s a he, Soob. You can come up with a name.”

He ponders the choices, before his smile grows and he presses his nose to the cat’s. “How about Hyuka?” He rubs the back of the cat’s ears tenderly.

You grin at Soobin and brush your fingers over Hyuka’s fur. “I think it’s a perfect fit.”

Soobin looks over at you with bright eyes, his expression transforming into one that feels like the one you held that day so long ago when he called your thoughts beautiful. A question forms on his tongue, but it flits away the second Mingyu walks through the double doors of the animal shelter with a bouquet of daisies.

At least the jerk knows your favorite flowers, Soobin thinks to himself as he walks with Hyuka back to his block in the back room.

You smile at Mingyu and thank him for the flowers, immediately pressing your nose to them to inhale their smell. “They’re amazing, thank you.”

“My buddy Wonwoo is a florist, so don’t thank me too much. I got a discount even though I should’ve paid full price.”

“Can’t beat a couple bucks off.” You set the bundle down on your desk and cross your arms over the countertop. “I take it you’re not just here to deliver flowers?”

Mingyu chuckles and presses a hand to his neck, his toned biceps stretching out his shirt. “Actually, I was going to ask if you had any plans for Valentine’s.”

You stumble on your explanation, discussing the closure of the shelter for the holiday. “Well,” Mingyu starts, “I was thinking you could come by for dinner. And I promise it won’t just be me making you taste test cupcakes again.”

You laugh, but the sound falls flat. You had always been the one pining, yearning for the boy you liked to like you back. Being on the other side of the coin was not exactly ideal. “Mingyu, you know I appreciate you and I am flattered, but…”

Soobin.

You’re unsure how to continue, but Mingyu holds a hand up in understanding. “I get it. How about I make you a meal, anyway? Consider it a friend treating a friend for all of her hard work.”

You blush and nod. “I’d like that very much.”

You’re washing dried-up wet food from the cat bowls when Soobin walks up to you, his face red. By the time Mingyu left, you expected Soobin to come back to your side so you could wash the dishes together. You did it yourself, seeing as he took forever to come back. Soobin asks with a tone of authority, “What the hell are you thinking?”

You poke your cheek with your tongue, contemplating. “I’m thinking Hyuka’s chances of getting adopted before Valentine’s is about—“

“You know that wasn’t what I meant, love.” He says the pet name with annoyance as he drops one bowl into the sink next to you. His tone catches you off guard, not expecting to see Soobin angry for the first time like this.

“You asked me what I was thinking, and I’m telling you.”

“Why did you say no to the date?” Soobin asks, his eyes blazing with fury. Something without a name sits below though, you can tell.

“I, technically, didn’t say no. It’s just more friendly than romantic.”

“Do you expect me to find you another soulmate like this?” Soobin drops another dirty plate in the sink for you to clean up. You don’t know if the question is exactly for you or for himself.

The tension sits thickly in the air, the running tap the only sound for a good minute or two. “I’m sure you’ll think of something,” you respond, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

Your cheekiness makes Soobin chuckle deeply. You missed his laugh, you realize, not hearing the sound in a while. Not since before Mingyu came around. “What am I gonna do with you, love?”

You shrug and go back to washing the bowls, hiding your smile behind soap suds and dishwater.

Soobin’s leg shakes as he sits on your couch, watching the clock on the spot above your door. 10:49 PM. He’s been waiting for hours to welcome you home from your “friendly” date with Mingyu. Admittedly, he’s been waiting since the second you left, the night of Valentine’s Day on the forefront of his brain since he heard the meathead ask you to have dinner.

Minho and Key keep him company, the older animals in your horde understanding and patient while Soobin mopes around. The angel feels as impatient as Bori can be when she has to wait for dinner.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Soobin says to Key, the chihuahua’s overbite hanging almost like a taunt. “I’m not stewing.”

He’s definitely stewing. The animals must be saying to each other, conspiring about what will occur when their mother finally gets home.

And on the cusp of eleven, you walk into the house and unbuckle your heels. You watch Soobin on the couch, his hands fidgeting on his lap. “Have you been sitting there for three hours?” You ask in a cute tone that drives Soobin nuts.

“No, I made the animals dinner.” You set your bag on the iron wrack where your coats lie, and throw your shoes in some corner of the living room before Soobin continues with, “So, how was the date?”

You stride to the mirror, beginning to unclasp the flashy studs in your ears. “It was fine. Nothing special. Just two friends having dinner.”

“That’s all it was? No candles at the table, no romantic music, nothing?”

“Why are you so concerned, Soobin? I went out, I had fun, now I’m home.” Soobin’s not prepared to hear your voice so clipped and direct. Your frustration is usually a mask of humor or concern. Not genuine anger, like right now. You don’t look at him directly, continuing to remove your jewelry as your ire grows.

You try to de-escalate the argument by retreating to the kitchen, but he only follows you there. And moving back into the living doesn’t help either. “Stop following me, Soobin!”

“Stop running away,” he barks back.

“I will when you stop making a big deal out of this.”

“It is a big deal,” he says with a scoff. “And am I not allowed to worry about you and who you’re with?” He asks with a bite that matches your irritation.

“Why are you so concerned if Mingyu’s the person you wanted to set me up with in the first place?”

“Don’t ask me that question,” he whispers. His jaw tightens and his hands clam up, but you don’t give in. If he wants to finish the discussion, then you’ll continue to press him for an answer.

“Why? What kind of ‘proprietary information’ relates to how you feel about this? What does me going out with Mingyu and you being a complete ass about it have anything to do with top-secret intel?”

“I love you, alright?!” He yells, standing stock still as his veins pulse in his head and neck. His hands go to the messy strands of his hair, almost like he feels himself going crazy at his own confession. “I did not mean to, and it’s awful. I can’t give you the life you deserve. Someone like Mingyu or any other human man would be lucky to have you, yet I can barely stomach the thought of someone else getting to touch you in all the ways I wish I could. And it’s driving me insane.”

The confession knocks something loose inside of you, remaining inhibitions be damned if it means now that the feelings Soobin harbors mirror your own without a doubt. 

You step closer to him, the tension almost too much to bear any longer. You press your hands to his neck, and bring him closer until your lips are a mere inch apart. “Nothing and nobody’s stopping you, Soobin.”

He takes a deep breath to hold himself back,  grounding himself so he doesn’t do something that will upend both of your worlds. “You don’t know that, love.”

You chuckle softly. “Maybe not, but I do know that I love you too.”

When you brush his mouth with your own, every being in the universe, heavenly or not, ceases to exist in your mind. It’s only you and Soobin in your own world. You want to kick yourself for taking so long to seize this moment, this kiss, with him. For all of the reasons Soobin supplies as to why it’s wrong for the two of you to be together, this could not feel more right.

Soobin only gives himself a second of separation from you to catch his breath before he dives back in for one, two, three more kisses. He moans eagerly into your mouth. He tugs on the fabric of your dress to occupy his hands, his body hungry for any contact he can get.

Heavens do be damned, if it means he can keep you between his arms and against his lips. 

Your back hits the bed as Soobin attaches his lips to your neck. The dogs scratch at the locked door of your bedroom, but you know they’ll give up after another minute of waiting for a result that will never come. You have other priorities to tend to.

Soobin’s lips and teeth mark you up as he travels along your skin with his mouth. He removes your dress and his shirt so your skin is in closer contact, the feeling of his every present warmth lighting you from the inside out. Your undergarments are still in the way, but you know they’ll be discarded soon.

“You do not know how many days I wished for this,” he mumbles into the spot between your breasts, his kisses setting you on fire to the point you can barely tell where he’s going next. He unclasps the clips holding your bra together, your top half now bare for his eyes to witness.

He marvels at the fullness of your chest before he takes one of your nipples into his mouth. He licks at the skin as he suckles. The action pulls a moan from your lips, your body thrusting up at nothing but open air.

“You can touch me in other ways, Soobin,” you gasp, taking his hand in yours and intertwining your fingers.

He blushes a deep crimson, releasing your nipple from his lips. “I don’t know how,” he admits.

You take his hand to guide lower to the top of your underwear, urging him to slip his hand inside. He does so, immediately finding the wetness of your folds against his fingertips. “You can move them around—just like that.” 

He takes your advice and expertly finds your clit to take between his thumb and index finger. Your hips buck up into his touch, and he smirks against your lips. He asks, “Is this what you like?”

“Yes, please.” He takes your underwear off to freely glide his fingers in and out of you, three of the digits simultaneously filling you but leaving you aching for more. “Please, Soobin, please,” you beg.

“What do you want, my love? Don’t hold back.”

“I want you inside of me,” you confess. He listens to your request without question. Unbuckling his pants, his cock springs free to make your eyes linger to the bottom half of his body. You don’t guess for long what it feels like, as he immediately sinks into you to make your eyelids flutter.

“Holy shit,” you exclaim, pressing your hands to his lower back, pushing him in deeper until he’s filling you to the hilt.

“You feel amazing.” Soobin says the words against your lips as he thrusts for the first time. He pulls completely before slipping back in, groaning the entire way.

While you appreciate the slow movement of his body against yours, not too eager to rush the experience, you cling to him with eager fingers, hoping the message will come across. “Soobin, go faster.”

You’ve only ever been with two other men in your life, two lackluster experiences in college you wished to forget. All the time between now was just a waiting game, you only willing to go the distance when you felt it was with the right person. And it seems like all the failures in your history have led you to this perfect blip in time.

Like Soobin can read your mind, he slows down just enough so he can whisper to you, “It’s always been you. It’s only ever been you.”

You can’t help the tear that forms in your eye, but it’s quickly kissed away with Soobin’s lips on your cheek and, subsequently, your mouth.

“I’m gonna come, Soobin. Please don’t stop.” His hips work faster, his thumb pressing down and rubbing your clit harder, and you can barely feel your body before it lights up in every area.

Your toes curl, your mouth slacks, and your soul explodes as the pleasure overtakes you. You feel empty yet so full from the endorphins released from your orgasm.

Soobin continues to move his hips against yours. His pace stutters, signaling his own release. He captures his lips with yours as he spills inside of you, your body his to claim completely. Nobody has ever had you in this way—emotionally, mentally, physically.

When you tell Soobin “I love you,” you mean it in every facet of reality, your soul intimately linked with his otherworldly one.

“I love you too, my love.” He smiles like a bashful child, taking you into his arms and pulling you closer as the night continues on outside. When you again, bodies intertwined between your sheets, all that you wish for now is for the moment to last forever.

And when you fall asleep that night in his arms a few hours later, you pray to every god you can name that it never ends.

The expectation of waking up to the warmth of Soobin’s arms and kisses dies when you feel his empty side of the bed. You search the entire house , your dogs padding behind you as you search every corner for him. 

To your terror and slowly breaking heart, he remains to be seen. Soobin is gone like he was never there to begin with, your house flooding with a chill that hits you to the core.

You crawl back into bed, naked and alone, tears streaming down your face. The only time you rise is to let the animals eat and use the bathroom. For the rest of the day, you remain in bed like a phantom. Half out of your body, half inside of it to feel every ounce of pain. Each shred of sadness reminds you that you still exist, and the man—angel—that you love is gone.

Yeonjun has his head in his hand when another pair of associates throw Soobin in front of his desk. Soobin put up an intense fight in the resulting scuffle to bring him back to the office above Earth, but he doesn’t regret it. The only thing he regrets is not leaving you with some sort of explanation, even something as little as a minute to tell you he loves you.

“When I approved your descent, I expected you to help your assignment. Not sleep with her.” Yeonjun sighs and reads over the paperwork at his desk. “The guys above me are gonna love this.”

“Jun, please.” Soobin falls down on his scraped knees and raises his hands in a prayer. “Let me just tell her—”

“What else is there to explain? You’ve clearly done enough.”

“I’m begging you—”

“You think I’m going to let you spend another second with her and make me look like an idiot? No.” He slams his hand on the desk. “If you’re lucky, Soobin, all the archangels will do is send you to the second circle of Hell. I’m surprised they’re not reprimanding me as your superior. You broke our greatest oath.”

Do not consort with humans, Soobin reminds himself as tears stream down his face. “I love her, Yeonjun. And you know she loves me. Didn’t I do my job? I found her a soulmate, just like she wished for.”

Yeonjun shakes his head with a sad smirk. “Don’t think you can get around our rules this time, Soobin. I just called you here to tell you the council will see you in the morning. Be grateful they’re giving you a chance to explain yourself.”

The angels that brought Soobin in drag him away to the lower cells of the building. As he’s pushed and pulled through dark hallways, Soobin has barely enough time to come up with a plan to fix what he’s ruined. Barely.

Your dream is almost the same as the one you envisioned months ago, the dark cavern welcoming you like an old friend. The fog of your transition from sleep to dreaming still pervades your senses. You barely have time to make out the details before Soobin has you wrapped in his arms, holding you so tightly that you feel the air knocked out of your lungs. “Thank God it worked.”

You sob immediately when you recognize Soobin’s voice and his arms around you. It’s like a magnet the way you gravitate to one another, not worrying if the dream will last a second or into eternity. You can barely remember the pain of being without him now that he’s in front of you.

You call his name as he kisses the crown of your hair. He backs you into the desk at the far end of the room, lifting you up by the legs to sit on its marble top. He trails his lips down until they meet your own, and he says so tenderly, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there when you woke up.”

Breaking into a fit of sad laughter, you run your hands through the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m just happy you’re here with me now.” You kiss him again and again, until your lips feel bruised and sore.

Soobin sheds a tear and looks back into the night outside of his office door. “I don’t have long. They’ll bring me back to my cell soon. But I wanted to tell you I love you. And I’ll come back as soon as I can.”

“W-Why are you being punished? You did what you were s-supposed to,” you stutter, a mournful knot building in your throat.

“I fell in love with a human when I shouldn’t have,” he answers, another tear welling in his eye. “But it was worth every rule I broke. How could I regret finding my best friend?” Soobin smiles despite the pain that you two share. 

You hiccup into his neck. “When will I see you again?”

“I-I don't know. But I’ll fix this,” he assures you, a steadfast determination in his expression.

“You don’t know that for sure, though,” you cry, heart ripping deeper at the seams with each word. 

“I don’t, but for now, know that I love you. I love you more than my existence allows.” He kisses you one more time as the edges of your dream blur. “It’s only for now, I promise.”

When you wake tangled in the comforter on your bed, the morning sky bleeding through your window, you begin the torture of waiting for the person you love most in the world to come back to you.

TWO MONTHS LATER

For the past seven Fridays since Soobin left, you’ve stayed in and waited for the phone to ring or the doorbell to sound, any way to signify that he hasn’t broken his promise. You don’t bother going into work, trying to find any excuse to stay in the house.

Beomgyu tries to get you out, go on dates, avoid the aching hole in your chest, but he doesn’t understand. None of your friends do. They think he’s left without an explanation like another random asshole would, but they don’t understand how wrong they are.

They’ll never understand you’re waiting for the one who took your heart between his hands and still holds it to this day, even if you can’t see him for now.

For now. The words play in your mind on a loop, the sound of Soobin’s voice as vivid as the day he said them between kisses in your dream. It’s only for now, I promise.

This Friday, you take his words to heart and decide to go out. You walk Key and Bori, the morning sun turning into an afternoon sky clear of clouds. The warmer weather signals winter is giving way to spring, although you can still feel the chill in your bones.

When you bring the dogs back home, you’re still too restless to stay inside, too many memories in the house haunting you with Soobin’s presence.

You walk around the town streets, the memories of those you love the most filling your heart with a solemn nostalgia that edges out the parts of you that are still miserable. You and Beomgyu learning to ride bikes around the animal shelter. Your parents treating you to your first scoop of mint chocolate ice cream after you won gold at your spelling contest. The kiss you shared with Soobin in your living room, and all the kisses that followed.

Each one contains longing for the past, yet offers some hope for making fresh memories in the same spots. And even locations you haven’t discovered yet.

By the second trip around the blocks you know too well, nighttime rears its head. The city lights mark the street names and numbers with a yellow glow, the heavens above pitch black.

Your legs are sluggish, ankles sore from continuing through the world around you without stopping for rest, but no physical excursion compared to the mental expedition you’ve been on today, a microcosm for all of your tangled emotions for the past two months.

 You almost give into the demands of your body when you hear the faintest sound of your name behind you. Turning on shaking limbs, you see the perfect contours and edges of the man you love in crystal clarity. His shoulders heave as his face remains wet with tears, his body on the verge of convulsing from the travel back to you.

Although every muscle strains and screams inside of you, you run towards him with all of your might and crash into his arms. The water on your cheeks mixes with his when your skin touches. He kisses each tear before he reaches your lips, his mouth tasting of salt and peppermint.

“I’m here. I’m here, my love.” He strokes your hair with his hand and runs the other across your back.

“I didn’t get to say I love you too, last time I saw you,” you say, the words tumbling over one another as you try getting them about. You’re crying and mumbling and it all feels incoherent, but you know every sound you emit is true.

Soobin chuckles, and you’re reminded how beautiful the sound of his laughter is. “You never had to say it back, my love. I already knew.”

Your heartbeat is erratic, but it doesn’t distract you from the fact Soobin’s heart seems to beat as well. A strong, even-tempered rhythm, one you’ve never heard before. You look him deep in the eyes, needing to hear the words on his lips. “Are you—“

His voice is still hoarse and tattered, but his smile is like the salve to all of your wounds. “I told you I would come back to you.”

You whimper, another tear escaping from your eyes. “You gave up everything for me? Your immortality, your friends, your—”

He presses a finger to your lips before running it over your cheek, his expression soft. “I completed my mission. And my everything is right here with me.”

You kiss his lips, all the I love you’s not enough to encapsulate every feeling and gift Soobin’s given you since he came into your life. You both may be on Earth, one old and one new human soul linked as one, but you know this is what it means to be higher than even the immensity of heaven.

@yvnempire @sjylouvre @mini-mews @jayparked @heesuncore @yoursjaeyun @sungbeams @jenoslutie @loserlvrss @pars-ley @lovetaroandtaemin @wonwovy @biteyoubiteme @jjunbug

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[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

P*rn ☆ 

Chapter 3, After party

Masterlist

Word count: 1.2 k

Sylus x Fem!Reader

Summary: You have been following a spicy content creator by the name of Red Crow for some time now. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what would happen when he moves into the apartment next door.

Warning! This story is meant for mature audiences. It contains sex, swear words, porn, smoking, intimate piercings, mentions of drugs, alcohol, and other mature themes. Do not engage if you are under 18.

Author's note: Tehee, I'm suddenly writing like I'm on fucking speed. Have another chapter while I'm not burned out from this story yet <3

Mature content under the cut.

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'Oh, you've got to be fucking kidding me,' you hiss to yourself. You've gotten dried off and dressed after your very unsuccessful cold shower (that maybe ended in you masturbating anyway) and opened your phone to see if you had any notifications. The last thing you expected to see was a new video from Red Crow, aka Sylus, aka your neighbor, jacking off right after meeting you wearing the same thing shirt he had when he opened the door for you.  

Is he teasing you? No, surely not. He said he'd make a video if everyone begged for it, don't be delusional... It is a nice idea though. Him being that horny after meeting you for no more than two minutes. 

Before you can even watch the first ten seconds of the video, your doorbell rings. It scares the bejesus out of you and you almost drop your phone. Fuck, you need to calm down and you need to do it fucking now. Tara is at your door, and you need to get through a night of romcoms and facemasks before you can watch that video. 

You rush to the door and open it with a friendly smile, trying hard to hide the lust filled thoughts playing behind your eyes. There stands Tara, but she's engaged in a conversation. 'Oh, hello,' she says to you with a smile and turns to your neighbor's door, 'Kieran, Sylus, have fun. See you soon.' 

Shit, you just can't help it. You stick your head around the corner and there he stands, confidently leaned against the doorframe of his door, arms crossed, wearing a different shirt for a reason that you can very easily imagine after that video. He wears a self-satisfied smirk on his lips when he sees your head peak around the corner and nods his head to you. Your cheeks burn and you barely even notice Kieran standing there. You try to nod back at him as casually as you can but there's no saving you now. So you just head back in and wait for Tara to follow you in hopes that it won't look too strange. 

'What was that all about,' she asks, following you inside. You shrug and venture further into your apartment. 

'Do you want tea?' Tara frowns and closes the door behind her a little too loud. She seems more concerned than angry, just as she had this morning. 

'Ma’am, what is going on,' she demands, standing with her hands on her hips in the middle of the living room. If you hadn't know what kind of person she is, you might've taken it more seriously but with the way your brain is fried you fear you might not even be able to hold a normal conversation. 

'He's rude,' you blurt out, your filter completely gone. Shit, your brain really is fried. 'Anyway, what movie should we watch?' 

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'What was all that,' Kieran nearly cries out like an excited teenage girl while trying to hit Sylus’ shoulders. Not that he can. Despite his size, Sylus is incredibly fast. Blame years and years of boxing for that. 

'I have no clue what you mean,' Sylus says cold, calculated, monotone, but the slightest flinch of the corners of his lips give him away. He quickly turns to his bar cart to pour them all a drink, but then he spots the bottle of whiskey you gave him and his lips twitch up again. 

This time Luke also catches it. He turns on the couch, clutching the back and pulling himself up in a chaotic attempt to climb over and tease Sylus like there's no tomorrow. He fails miserably when Sylus looks back at him with one warning look while pouring the whiskey. 

Kieran sits down in one of the two big lazy chairs while Luke spreads out on the couch. 'Did she come over?' 

'She got me a housewarming present,' Sylus muses, trying to keep his composure as he grabs the three glasses of whiskey by the rims and walks them over to the coffee table. As soon as they're set down, Kieran and Luke shoot up to claim their glasses. 

'A housewarming present,' Luke says in a teasing tone while wiggling his eyebrows, his eyes flicking from Kieran to Sylus and back a few times. Sylus sighs and pinches his brow, still trying so damn hard to make it seem like everything is the same. 

'Whiskey,' he says to explain, 'she got me a bottle of whiskey.' 

'And you made her throat burn,' Luke teases once more, but this time even Kieran cringes. 

'And you wonder why you're single,' Kieran sighs. 

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'Come on, out with it,' Tara demands. Throughout the last two hours, you've been dancing around the topic under the guise of choosing a movie, making tea, putting facemasks on, painting each other's toenails, etcetera, but you're dead out of things to keep Tara busy. So you just give in. Well, you give in a little bit. Can't play all your cards yet. 

'He's hot okay,' you groan, 'he's fucking hot and I have a fucking dry spell.'  

That was clearly not what Tara expected you to say after you told her he was rude to you. 'Wait, back it up, I thought you were joking about you and Zayne just being friends.' 

'No, we're really just friends. We've kissed once to see if we wanted something more but neither of us felt anything.' She nods. 

'And Sylus is your type?' 

'Well,' you mumble, a blush forming on your cheeks, 'I guess. I've always liked them tall. Can't say I've ever met anyone like him before, though.' Mentally, you beat yourself up. This man is a sex God and you're sitting here, one measly wall away from him, blushing like Sylus and you are the main characters in a slow burn k-drama. 

'Fair enough,' she agrees and suggests, 'I can give him your number under the guise of telling each other about parties and stuff. Like what you did with Zayne.' 

'I don't think he's the kind of person who likes having his hand forced,' you note uncertainly, 'besides, he's a grown man. If he wants something, he can get it himself.' And shit, the way you would give it to him. They'd have to add a new level to the Richter Scale after you're done with him. Or he's done with you, whatever he prefers to say. You're not picky as long as you can feel his hands all over you. “Wait, stop, you're still with Tara. Calm your ovaries woman,” you mentally scream at yourself, hoping the blush on your cheeks still seems as innocent as it had a bit ago but you can feel your ears flush.

Tara agrees with a nod, seemingly not noticing anything: 'You're right. And he did seem to like you.' 

'That's probably just because I gave him whiskey as a housewarming gift.' 

'No, I don't think I've ever seen him look at a woman like that,' she says absentmindedly. You suddenly feel your heart pounding in your chest once more. Truly, your heart is trying to be your undoing. You're not supposed to like this person after meeting them once but at the same time, you've been watching him for ages. When you think about it, it actually feels a little bit weird. 

You've been watching him, he doesn't know you. And yet, he seems to be the more confident one.

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[ghostgirl-22]

i think art identifies as totally 100% straight but squirms whenever he gets the slightest bit of male attention, and patrick is just waiting for the realization to hit him (and maybe trying to help him realize it, in his own way)

Poor baby— he’s so lost <3

CW:18+

—-

Art thinks he’s straight and that’s fine. Patrick’s not gonna argue his sexuality with him. He sees things in black and white. In his mind there’s straight and there’s gay and that’s it. They’re lying in bed one night watching a gay episode of Date My Mom on MTV and Art’s made up his mind. “I couldn’t even imagine it honestly, I’m just so attracted to women,” he explains matter of factly. As if one negates the other.

Patrick’s actually coming around to the fact that he, himself, probably likes both.

One too many nights spent jerking it while thinking about Art stepping out of the foggy bathroom, towel sitting low on his glistening waist, wet curls in his eyes. Art bent over in front of him on the tennis court while they’re in the middle of a doubles match. Art sitting across from him on his bed, legs spread wide, skin flushed, hands shoved down his pants moaning while they watch the Mummy on TV and perv over Rachel Weisz (and Patrick secretly on Brandon Fraser). Either way he’s starting to realize he likes at least one boy. A lot.

The reason he thinks Art is a repressed little liar is because of how squirmy he gets when boys flirt with him. Boarding school is so weird. They’re with boys all the time. The girls dorms are on the other side of the school and there’s something about being all cooped up together, sweaty and close, hormones going crazy that’s led to some… experimentation.

And plenty of boys want to experiment with Art. He’s blue eyed, easy to blush, long brown lashes, pretty smile, and the perfect little slutty waist. Of course he gets all kinds of male attention and he absolutely falls apart every time.

The flirting could be a little or a lot. It doesn’t matter… Art gets silly for it. Little compliments and he’s sitting on his hands, grinning too much. A bit of teasing and flirting and he’s giggling when things aren’t even funny. Fucking giggling.

Patrick’s present for a lot of it. Boys teasing him during gym class snapping at his waistband, the kind of immature grade school teasing like pulling on a girls braids repeatedly because you just want her to notice you. All that before they start calling him pretty boy and asking what color his underwear is and he really gets antsy. Then by the end of class there’s Art, cheeks pink, eyes bright. And he’s letting them take turns looking down his pants to see the color for themselves.

The little games of footsie with Sammy Kline under the table in the cafeteria. Art acting like it’s not flirting but they’re going back and forth all period, exchanging glances. Art’s all antsy, sucking on his spoon by the time lunch is over. And Patrick accidentally walks in on Sammy touching himself in an empty bathroom right after.

Or when Art is play wrestling with Jamal Butler after practice and he squeezes Art’s thigh just under his knee because he’s so ticklish there and Art is giggling and kicking and whining “stop it.” Breathless and airy, his weight settled on Jamal’s chest. Patrick tightened his grip on his phone, thinking Jamal would try to kiss him but Art pushed him down and grinned all flushed. “I beat you.”

Jamal playfully messes with Arts hair when they get to their feet and Patrick notices the way Art shivers for it. When Jamal leaves to get dressed Patrick is also aware when Art needs to adjust himself, just the slightest bit.

Art’s not just oblivious to the fact that what they’re doing is flirting, he’s oblivious to his own flirting.

He doesn’t think it’s flirting when he lets boys give him little things. An extra orange juice at breakfast. (“Please, can I have it? I’m still really, really thirsty.”) A candy bar from the vending machine. (“I’ll marry you if you get me a snickers right now.”) A hoodie to wear if he’s cold while they sit in the stands waiting for their match to start. (“I love you so much, I can’t believe I forgot mine.”) He’s always soft and tentative when he asks as if he can’t have whatever he fucking wants. As if boys don’t fall all over themselves for him.

Patrick’s probably in that category of flirting, giving Art everything… taking Art’s everything. Sharing cigarettes, drinks, food, clothes, a bed… everything he can.

Patrick’s actually obsessed with it. Can’t stop jerking himself off thinking about the ways Art gets all flustered around boys. Wiggling in his chair, bouncing his leg, wetting his lips, chewing on his thumb, on his clothes, on his pen… needs to put something in his mouth. These anxious little ticks. Art can’t name the feelings he’s feeling but Patrick knows what they are. They share the bedroom, he can hear it when Art’s touching. Knows he’s not really thinking about his girlfriend.

It’s with Patrick that boundaries consistently blur. Like the day when Jamal didn’t kiss him and his girlfriend was out of town and he’s crawling into Patrick’s bed asking him for help to practice so he can kiss her better. As if they don’t both know better.

And god forbid if Patrick points any of this out, or ever asks him about his behaviour. Art would laugh it off. He’d say Patrick is exaggerating and that those boys are just being friendly, they don’t want him. Besides it makes no sense because he has a girlfriend. But he’s still stuck in black and white… doesn’t really see all the colors of the rainbow yet.

Patrick finds it all amusing…one day it’ll hit him like a ton of bricks, like when he discovered it was okay to like both Nsync and the Backstreet Boys at the same time. Not that he’d ever really admit that he likes either but that’s a whole different story.

Patricks gonna be there to kiss him on that day too.

(Idk i wrote this on the clock I fear…sorry if it’s all a mess…but so is Art 😅)

[shanastoryteller]

They destroy a hundred seals in thirty days, which feels like good progress until Sam realizes even if they can keep up this pace, it’s going to take them nearly two years. “There has to be a faster way to do this.”

“It took three hundred thousand years to set the apocalypse in motion,” Castiel says dryly. “Patience is a virtue.”

“It took a year from first seal to last, don’t exaggerate,” he says, pacing the length of the motel room. Cas may not need things like food and sleep, but Sam is still human at the end of the day.

He’s refusing to touch the virtue bit. No one’s keeping track of those and they both know it.

Cas gives him a bitchy look that Sam tells himself he’s not growing fond of. “Yes. Sixty six seals took a year to open. We’ve destroyed nearly twice that in a month. You are not being reasonable about this.”

Maybe not, but they don’t have time to be. Can’t Cas feel it? Like something’s bearing down on them, hot breath on the back of their necks. If there’s one constant in Sam’s life, it’s that he never gets enough time. He doesn’t see why this should be any different. “What if we killed Lilith? She’s the last one, right? As long as the first seal hasn’t been opened, killing her destroys the seal. If the last one can’t be opened, Lucifer can’t be set free. Right?”

Cas tilts his head to the side. Sam kind of hates how quickly he’s picked that up this time around, but he’s only realizing now that it’s a gesture Cas learned from him, not Dean, and the first go around they hadn’t exactly spent a lot of time together in the beginning. “Likely correct. But even if we could find her, I’m unsure of your capabilities.”

“Fuck you too,” he says without heat. “I killed Azazel. I killed her before. I can do it again.”

“She wanted to be killed, last time,” Cas says. “She knew her death would grant Lucifer’s freedom and she did not fight you with all her strength. Killing Azazel is not killing Lilith. They are different beasts.”

“Wait,” he says, “are you telling me that Lilith is stronger than Azazel?”

Having killed them both, that’s really not what he would have guessed. Which means that Cas is probably right. Damn.

“What is stronger, blood or bone?” he asks. “She is Lucifer’s firstborn. There is power there.”

Great. “I’m more powerful this time,” he points out. Azazel’s blood – Lucifer’s blood – is still buzzing under his skin, not quite as hot and pounding as it was at first swallow, but not fading and sputtering out like Ruby’s blood always had. Something in between, maybe, except those first few drops of blood as a baby hadn’t had any immediate affects either. It’s probably a good thing he won’t live another twenty two years. Who knows what Lucifer’s blood will have done to him by then.

“Yes,” Cas says. “I just don’t know if you’re powerful enough.”

And if he’s not, Lilith won’t even kill him. He needs to be alive for Lucifer to wear, after all. No, whatever she does to him will be much worse.

Sam.

He turns, even though he knows they’re alone. But his name had been so clear.

Sam, please!

He looks around uneasily. “Do you hear that?”

Cas blinks. “No.”

“Seriously?” he demands.

Sam, please, please, I’ll do anything, I’ll give anything, please help me. Help her. Sam –

He moves, not entirely sure what he’s doing, shifting from one place to the other, not entirely sure where he’s going until he arrives.

He’s standing in an empty apartment building, a ghost howling in front of him that looks sort of familiar. What the hell?

“Sam!”

Taking his eyes off the ghost is probably stupid, but he looks behind him anyway and finds Ellen on her knees, tears streaming down her face. Jo is clutched in her arms, skin pale and eyes open and unseeing, bits of plaster in her hair and a gaping hole in the wall behind them.

“Holmes?” he asked incredulously, turning back to the ghost who’s getting steadily closer. Last time they trapped him in the basement and cemented him inside. Last time Sam hadn’t spent years researching how to banish the worst sorts of evil.

The incantation rolls off his tongue easily, half Latin and half something older than that, and Holmes screams as he burns up in whisps of smoke.

“Sam, please,” Ellen begs. “Please. You have to help her.”

How does Ellen even know him? They’ve never met before. Not here. He kneels across from her, heart clenching at Jo’s body. He’s supposed to be making things better, leaving and destroying the seals is supposed to fix things. Except he guesses he and Dean weren’t here to find Jo this time and Ellen got there too late. “She’s dead, Ellen.”

“So?” she asks fiercely. “Jim was dead. Caleb, that girl, Meg. They were all dead. You brought them back.”

He stares. “How do you know that?”

“Please,” she repeats. “She’s all I have left. Please, Sam. I’ll do anything. I’ll give anything. Just bring her back.”

Sam knows that desperation. He’s felt that desperation, those miserable four months when hell tore his brother apart.

But he doesn’t have the same overfull, burning power he had with the taste of Azazel’s blood in the back of his throat.

Ellen, proud, tough Ellen, has tears down her face and begging him.

She lost her husband because of his father. He can try and save her daughter.

He reaches out, gripping the back of Ellen’s neck, and pulls her towards him. She opens his mouth for him, kissing him back without hesitation. He bites her tongue, blood hot and salty, and she doesn’t so much as flinch, doesn’t pause, just holds Jo between them and lets Sam take.

When he pulls back, his mouth is full of blood. He leans down, pressing his lips to Jo’s, letting her mother’s blood slide between her lips and presses his hand against her chest, trying to quicken something in her that will bring her home.

She gasps under him and he pulls back. Her eyes dart around, cheeks flushed, and stutters, “What – who–”

Ellen lets out a sob and clutches Jo to her, letting out a choked litany of scolding that has Jo patting her back and making soothing noises that Sam doubts Ellen hears at all.

He sits back on his ass, rubbing a hand over his face and wondering if anyone will care if he just lays down and takes a nap. Resurrection is exhausting.

“How?” Ellen asks, looking at him with red eyes and a puffy face and so much gratitude he can barely stand it. “There’s nothing special about my blood.”

“There’s power in sacrifice,” he says, wincing at the roughness of his voice. “Not a lot. Not enough. But,” he shrugs. He’s spent a lifetime making something out of not enough.

“What did I sacrifice?” she asks. It’s curiosity, nothing more. He can tell that she doesn’t care about the answer, that it really good be anything ant it would still be a bargain well made as far as she’s concerned.

This is how apocalypses are started.

“Nothing I’m going to collect on,” he says tiredly. “But it’s not a trick that works more than once. So be careful, okay?”

That last bit he directs to Jo, who’s just staring at him with huge eyes. “You’re Sam?”

“Yeah,” he says. “How do you know who I am?”

Jo and Ellen share a look, then she says carefully, “I met your brother.”

“How is he?” he asks, almost before she’s finished speaking. “Is he – I mean,” he cuts himself off, grimacing. Sam made out with their possessed father, killed the demon, and left. It’s a real toss up about what messed him up the most. “You shouldn’t hunt on your own,” he says, switching tracks. “You need a partner, one who can show you the ropes if you’re going to keep this up. See if you can talk Dean into it. I think you two will get along.”

Jo swallows. “Uh, okay. You’re not what I expected.”

What had she expected? He’s sure the rumors about him are nothing good, if not outright setting a bounty on his head. Ellen might have been desperate enough to seek him out with Jo dead, but that doesn’t mean anything. He and Dean both ran to demons when they lost the other.

There are footsteps down the hall and he tries to muster a smile for them before he’s leaving, returning to the motel room he’d been in with Cas.

“Where did you go?” he asks.

Getting back here had taken the last bit of energy he had. He flips Cas off and collapses face first into the bed, barely managing to kick of his shoes before he falls asleep.

Dean would have taken them off for him, but Dean isn’t here.

~

When he wakes up twelve hours later, it’s to Cas standing above him and staring.

He groans, rolling over and away from that piercing blue gaze. “Don’t do that.”

“Where did you go?” he asks.

Sam tells him. It doesn’t take long, but his voice is still strained by the end of it.

“You heard her prayers?” Cas asks.

“No,” he says, then frowns. “I don’t know. I guess. Can I do that?”

Cas is learning human expressions one by one. Judgement had come quickly and easily.

Whatever. Apparently he can do that now.

“You said Azazel was a prince of hell,” Sam says. “Does that mean there are more of them?”

“Three,” he says warily. “Why?”

He shrugs. “Think they’d be willing to part with some blood in exchange for their lives?”

Sam’s not going to survive this. He knew that from beginning. It doesn’t really matter he has to do to himself to finish it.

There’s power in sacrifice.

“This is a terrible idea,” Cas says, which isn’t a no.

Apocalypse Never

They help Dad into the cabin, more coherent than he was when they first broke him out, and Sam heads back to the car for their bags, for the Colt, and tries not to think about how everything has gone so quickly to shit. Mom and Jessica’s killer got away, again, but they’re all alive. That’s not nothing, that’s –

The pain hits him so completely and suddenly that he has no chance to brace himself for it. Usually it builds, first prickling pain then greater, but this is something else. It feels like nails are being shoved into his skull, images coming almost too fast for him to follow. He doesn’t realize he’s screaming until it stops, until he comes to with his head in his brother’s lap, Dean’s arms pinning him down and his face white and terrified above him. “Sammy? Sammy, you’re bleeding. What’s wrong?”

His throat is too raw and tight to speak even if he wanted to. He does want to, but he can’t, he can’t say a goddamn thing.

I saved the world for you, he thinks wildly, and I didn’t even get to keep you. How fucked up is that?

~

He doesn’t know if his future self couldn’t send it all back any further, or if he thought that this would give Sam less time to fuck things up.

For a couple terrifying minutes, Sam had taken control of Lucifer. For a couple exhilarating minutes, Sam had the power of an archangel.

That sending the knowledge of the future back four years in the past was the best thing he could think to do with it leaves Sam with a poor opinion of the man he became. Then again, he had saved the world, so. There’s that.

He doesn’t want to think of the him that had fallen into the pit with Lucifer and Michael. He hopes he can save him by making different choices, but maybe he can’t. Alternate universes, or parallel ones, or whatever. Maybe that Sam is damned for good and the best he could do was save a different version of himself, a different version of his brother.

There’s not much point in wondering about it. He’ll never know either way.

It’s memories with no emotions, thank fuck, because just the knowledge of it all is enough to drive him to his knees, to edge him to weeping and whimpering and slitting his wrists if he lets it.

He’s not going to. He has work to do. There will be time to fall apart after, when the world is safe. When Dean is safe.

Dean after Dad had died and given him that ultimatum had been bad enough. Dean after forty years in hell had been nearly unrecognizable.

He wipes the blood from his face, ushers Dean back inside, and tries not to think too hard about what he’s about to do.

Dean figures out it’s Azazel in Dad’s body and they’re pinned to the wall and Sam waits until Azazel is hovering over him, hand next to his head as he tilts his head back and breathes over Sam’s lips. It’s a torture and a powerplay, to let the want in his eyes come out in his father’s face, to make it John’s body that’s pressed so nauseatingly close to his own.

Sam isn’t the same person he was four years ago, ten minutes ago.

Breaking out of Azazel’s hold is easy. He’s using the equivalent of a single finger to keep them down, like pinning down a butterfly, and it's only enough until it isn’t.

He grabs Azazel’s face and pulls him close, hears the beginning of his laughter before Sam seals their mouths together. He’s making a deal here, selling his soul sure as anything, just not with Azazel.

Azazel leans into it, just like Sam knew he would, shoving his tongue in Sam’s mouth and getting off at his instinctive flinch of disgust, of the way Dean’s screaming bloody murder behind him. Azazel hasn’t hurt Dean yet. Sam’s going to make sure he never will.

He bites down hard. Blood fills his mouth and he sucks on his tongue, drinking as much as he can. It doesn't tase like iron, not like it should, instead it's sweet and thick like honey. He thought Azazel would pull back now, but he’s still laughing into Sam’s mouth, even bites the inside of his cheek to add to the blood from his tongue, and he just lets Sam drink his fill. Of course, he doesn’t know what Sam knows. If Sam had done this the first time, the only thing the blood would have done would be to get him high and useless.

It means he gets more than a mouthful, that it’s long minutes of keeping his eyes closed and swallowing and trying not to think too hard about how it’s Dad’s hands on him and Dad’s hard on at his thigh and Dad’s tongue he’s sucking on. He’s already got four years’ worth of nightmares in his head. No need to add more than necessary.

His skin is buzzing, feeling stretched out over him like his body is too big for it suddenly, almost like the aches of growing pains but more electric. Azazel pulls back and licks up the side of his face, leaving blood and spit behind, and breathes into his ear, “If you missed me feeding you, boy, all you had to do was ask.”

Yeah, that’s enough of that.

He shoves Azazel back without moving his hands, hard enough that he stumbles, and he has to move fast, before he gets a smart idea like snapping Dad’s neck or bursting his heart. He raises his hand and he’d settle for an exorcism, but power is lying heavy and thick in his veins. Destroying Lilith nearly killed him and Azazel is more powerful than Lilith and the blood he drank shouldn’t be nearly enough.

But fear sparks in Azazel’s yellow eyes and he starts choking, black smoke leaking from his ears and out his mouth. “How-”

Sam doesn’t let him finish. He remembers killing Samhain, killing Alastair, killing Lilith. He knows what to do.

Azazel dies screaming. Mom and Jessica are avenged. It’s not as satisfying as he thought it’d be.

Dad is on his hands and knees, taking in deep lungfuls of air. Sam knows from experience that being possessed isn’t pleasant.

“Sammy?”

He forces himself to look over, sees his brother approaching him with hands outstretched. The fear hasn’t gone anywhere even with Azazel dead, even with Dad alive, even though he doesn’t have any of the devastating injuries he sustained last time.

He doesn’t have the emotions to go along with the memory of the first time Dean saw him drinking demon blood, but he imagines it was something like this. “I’m sorry.”

“Sammy,” Dean says again, but Dad’s getting to his feet, Dad’s looking at the Colt, and Sam can’t die yet. He still has work to do.

It’s not a conscious thought, not something he actively tries to do, it’s just one minute he’s there in a cabin with his father and brother and the next he’s in the middle of a field, the night air crisp and clear and a million stars shining above him.

He couldn’t do that before.

There’s something wrong, he thinks, because he doesn’t remember what drinking demon blood felt like, but he remembers describing it, and this isn’t right. He should be drained after that, should feel almost normal again, but instead it’s like there are bees pinging around inside him, like there’s molten lava in his veins, like he’s dying.

He’s dying, he realizes suddenly, the power threatening to eat him alive. He looks down at his arms, like he’s expecting to see them crisping up beneath moonlight, but they look normal, like skin. Of course it’s not killing him, no matter what it feels like. He’s Lucifer’s perfect vessel. There’s no power his body can’t contain, none except God’s, maybe, and it looks like he’s long past making house calls.

It won’t kill him, but it hurts like hell, and he can’t think, he needs to burn it off somehow. He’s never had this problem before, not even when he drank all that blood for Lucifer.

He’s standing in Bobby’s living room and he doesn’t understand why until he sees the body on his kitchen table wrapped in a white sheet. He doesn’t know how Bobby got rid of the paramedics, if he’s maybe holding the body for her family, but Sam thinks he knows how to get rid of some of the itching along his skin.

Sam died a lot, in those weeks he and Dean were apart. Lucifer was true to his word. Sam came back every time.

He pulls down the sheet, sees the ways Meg’s face has settled into death in the past day, how decay has started to take hold and left her blue and cold and her skin slack. He leans down, presses a kiss to her cheek, and thinks that this is the least he owes her, for what she endured because of him, for trying to help him even at the bitter end.

She gasps to life beneath him, warmth flooding her skin and air stuttering into her lungs. “Sam?” she asks, fear and confusion and a pain that’s not physical.

Maybe she won’t want to live, considering everything she’s been through, but at least now the choice is hers and not a demon’s. There are footsteps and he turns to see Bobby standing in the doorway, gun pointed to the ground and mouth open in shock. Sam doesn’t have time to worry about it, instead he’s gone, the same burning still clawing its way out of his bones.

Caleb lies slumped in the chair Meg had tied him to, throat slit and eyes empty. Sam puts his hands on his shoulders, presses his lips to his bald head, and feels the moment his heart starts beating again. He sends the ropes falling with barely a thought and he’s gone the moment he hears his first confused groan.

Pastor Jim is laid out in his home, church workers Sam vaguely recognize huddled around him in prayer, his final send off. He’s just glad he got here before they burned him. They start screaming when they see him but he leans down, internally wincing at how Jim’s going to explain his way out of this one, and kisses his forehead, a reversal of the paternal tenderness Jim had shown him as a child.

His chest rises and his eyes open and his eyebrows push together. “Sam, what-“

He doesn’t stick around to hear the end of that question, figures it’s not anything he can answer anyway.

It takes him a long moment of staring out at the snow covered peaks and too close sky and the brilliant sun hitting his face even though it was just the middle of the night for him to place himself, even though it shouldn’t be enough, but he knows where he is even though he shouldn’t.

The air’s too thin and he’s going to give himself altitude sickness if he lingers and he should probably be freezing to death but his blood is still running too hot. Not burning, not like it was before he brought three people back from the dead, but still far from comfortable.

Still. He can’t say he ever thought he’d ever get to see the view from Mt. Everest.

“Castiel,” he says. “It’s Sam Winchester. We need to talk.”

Nothing. Typical.

“I know about God’s plan, about Lucifer and Michael, about my role as his vessel. I know about you, Cas. You’re going to want to hear me out.”

There’s the rustle of wings behind him and he turns to see Cas, younger than he looked before. Jimmy Novak younger than he’d been before. He wonders about that for a moment. He’d half expected Cas to show up as a sherpa rather than nip to America for a vessel, but Cas had kept the shape of Jimmy Novak even after his physical body perished, so maybe there’s a deeper preference there than just convenience.

His face is as cold as their surroundings. “You have strayed from God’s light.”

“Yeah, well, what good has he ever done me?” he asks tiredly. He used to believe. He believed yesterday. He prayed this morning. Even when he met Cas the first time, he believed. “I can’t explain. Can you just read my mind? We don’t have time.”

His eyebrows push together, but Cas has to be curious, otherwise he wouldn’t have said anything. He steps forward and presses two fingers against Sam’s forehead. He doesn’t feel any different, but when Cas lowers his hand, he’s lost his stoicism. Shock, despair, and anger chase themselves across his feature and Sam can’t blame him.

He’s not the only who lost his faith in the future.

“You said there were thousands of seals,” he says. “How many exactly?”

His eyes snap to Sam’s. “What?”

“God loved Lucifer,” he says. “It’s why he imprisoned him rather than destroying him. It’s why he left him a way out. Maybe it’s why he set up the apocalypse in the first place. I don’t know, I don’t care. All I know is that I’m not letting him out, ever. So we’re going to destroy every seal we can.”

Some can’t be undone, like the first one, a righteous man torturing an innocent soul in hell. But there are plenty that can, hopefully enough, hopefully most. If there are less than sixty six seals available, then Lucifer is never getting out of his cage.

“There were originally ten thousand seals,” Cas answers and Sam gets lightheaded for reasons that have nothing to do with thin air. “Only two thousand and thirty four seals are still viable.”

Okay, that’s better. Not great, but better. “Let’s get that number down to sixty five.”

“You are different,” Cas says.

Of course he’s different. His father’s alive. His brother never went to hell. Sam has never known the utter desolation of being completely alone, of grief and guilt so heavy he’s surprised it didn’t break his spine as surely as Jake’s knife in his back. He doesn’t actually remember feeling it, which is no small mercy, but he saw the effects of living with it, which is almost as bed. He'd thought what he’s feeling because of Jessica is as low as he could get. It’s not even close.

He wants to dig up her bones and breathe life into them, but at almost a year dead he thinks that’s beyond even this strange new power. Even like this, he’s failing Jessica one more time.

“Got any ideas?” he asks. “It wasn’t like this before. With the blood.”

He’d drank Ruby nearly dry more than once. It had been a high and then a crash and never did it give him access to this type of power.

“Azazel is – was a prince of hell,” Cas answers.

Sam frowns. “I thought he was king?”

“He was regent,” he corrects, “but to be a prince is separate from being ruler of hell. Lucifer created Lilith from bone, as Adam and Eve were made. The princes were created from his blood. Azazel’s blood is, in a way, Lucifer’s.”

Lucifer’s blood. Sam, his vessel, drinking down Lucifer’s blood, as a baby and now. Except as a baby he’d only had a few drops. He’d consumed a lot more than that back at the cabin.

Demon blood always wore off. The few drops of Azazel’s blood he’d gotten as a baby never had. He probably should have taken that into consideration, but there hadn’t been any time.

“Lucifer is evil but he is not a demon,” Cas continues.

Sam realizes suddenly that he did have power like this once. When he locked away Lucifer inside of him and took his power for his own. It’s not the same, not even close, but it’s similar. “This is what angel blood does?”

“No,” he says. “This is what Archangel Lucifer’s blood does to his perfect vessel. I believe. This has never happened before, so I cannot be certain. You are, as always, one of kind, Sam Winchester.”

It’s not quite a compliment, but it’s not as combative as he remembers Castiel being in the beginning. He’ll take it. “Guess we’ll figure it out together, then. If you’re sticking around to help prevent the apocalypse.”

If he’s not, this is going to be more than difficult. Tracking down all the seals without an angel on his side isn’t going to be impossible, but pretty damn close. And he doesn’t know how much time he has. Hell is going to be pissed about him killing Azazel. Heaven is probably going to take notice once he starts destroying seals so they can never be opened. Not to mention, he’s definitely going to be on hunters’ radar. Even if Dad can keep his mouth shut about him drinking demon blood, which he knows better than to rely on, him bringing back people from the dead is going to spread quickly. He’s going to be hunted at all sides, just like last time.

At least last time he had Dean, even broken, even when he was broken himself. He still had his brother.

But this is the price for saving him. For making sure that Dean is never in the position to kick off the apocalypse in the first place, to make it so Lucifer never again walks the earth even if heaven and hell reincarnate him and Dean and try and start this all over again.

He’s going to be killed for it, he knows, by demons or angels or hunters. But that doesn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things.

“Yes,” Cas says. “It is better for us all if the future you saw never comes to pass. I will help you.”

He grins, clapping Cas on the shoulder, and only laughs at the glare he receives in return. They have to get out of here before the altitude makes him loopy. Maybe it already has.

He’s going to save the world for his brother and he’s not even going to get to keep him.

How fucked up is that?

[musings-of-a-rose]

Could I request Benny x female reader where they engage in mutual masturbation and they make out throughout?

Touch

Pairing: Benny Miller x best friend f!reader

Word Count: 1900+

Rating: Mature - 18+ ONLY!

Warnings: Just like ao3, “creator chooses not to use warnings.” If you click Keep Reading, that means you agree that you’re the age to handle mature themes. Also by clicking Keep Reading, you understand warnings may not be complete in order to avoid spoilers for the story. 

Notes: Listen. This was a hot ask. I'll admit, I had to think on this one a bit (and that was mostly staring at the wall). A huge thanks to @mermaidxatxheart as usual for listening to my Ted Talks and insecurities.

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**Reader is not described

Main Masterlist

Benny Miller Masterlist

“The date went bad I take it?” Benny’s eyebrows are raised as he motions for me to come inside his apartment. He closes the door behind me as I huff.

“He kept taking out his phone and texting. His mom. He was giving her a play by play of our date.”

Benny chuckled. “What? During your date?”

I kick off my heels and set them on his shoe mat. “I’m all for strong family bonds, but maybe wait until after the date? I could barely talk to him. It was literally every 2 minutes.”

Benny chuckled again. “Well I’m sorry it sucked. You’re welcome to come finish this terrible movie I’m watching.”

I follow Benny to his couch, plopping down next to him. We’d been best friends for years. He was always someone I could count on to be there for me, good or bad. He never judged or questioned me, but somehow always seemed to have an answer to my problems. He hands me a drink and offers me some popcorn from the giant bowl in his lap. I grab a handful and watch whatever b horror movie is on the tv. 

“Ugh even the ugly ass monster in this bad movie is getting laid why can’t I?”

Benny coughs, choking a little on his popcorn. “What?”

Fuck, I said that out loud. 

“I uh…nothing.”

He takes a swig from his drink, clearing the last of the popcorn. “Afraid no one will touch you again?”

I groan, but I’m also desperate for advice. “No. Well…maybe. It’s not even sex. I just want someone to touch me again. Someone that’s not me or Henry Cavill.”

Benny laughs, his head flying back. “You know Henry Cavill?”

I can feel the heat on my cheeks, but I’ve already said it. “That’s…that’s the name of my vibrator.” His laughter is contagious and I can’t stop myself from smiling. He makes some quips about it and then something happens in the movie that captures our attention. 

“I can help you with that if you’d like.”

My head snaps in his direction. “What?” Did he just offer to…surely not.

He turns his head, his bright blue eyes boring into mine, a sparkle in them. “I can help you with your problem.”

Heat burns my cheeks and I’m grasping at words. Surely he doesn’t mean…he can’t…without thinking, I glance down at his hands, the grip on his bottle, and how small it looks in them. I swallow hard.

“Ben, be serious.”

He leans forward, the muscles in his arms flexing slightly as he places his bottle on the coffee table before sitting back, casually laying an arm across the back of the couch as if he didn’t just suggest shoving his hand down my pants. 

“I’m serious, sweetheart. Look, you’ve had a really rough go of it. And I would make sure you were taken care of. You’re too pent up. Let some steam out.”

I shift slightly in my seat, which doesn’t go unnoticed by him. It’s not that I’ve never thought about it. Benny is extremely attractive. I just never would ever think he’d be ok with that with me. For me? I can’t even think. 

“Ben…I can’t lose your friendship. That would break me.”

He extends a long finger from the hand that’s across the back of the couch and pokes my head. “Do you think I’d ever let that happen?”

I swat at his hand out of reflex. “Is that something we could control though?”

He thinks for a moment. “It’s us. We’re best friends. We take care of each other. I think we’d be fine.”

“But what if it changes everything?”

He takes my hand in his large one, completely engulfing me. He looks into my eyes and does that thing where his eyebrows pull together and makes me melt. “I promise to not let it change the way I feel about you. Do you promise?”

Could I make that promise? The not-so-minor crush I’ve harbored for him for years is begging. Your feelings won’t change because you already like him. 

“How would…I mean, what would you…”

Benny shifts to face me better. “I’d touch you however you need me to. Maybe make out a little bit if you need to be distracted.”

I press my thighs together, hoping that he didn’t notice. But judging by the way he shifts and his eyes darken slightly, I think he very much noticed. Pressing my thighs together did nothing to quell the heat, my body begging me to just let me be touched. I feel safe with Benny and I know he’d never cross a line. My skin is hot thinking about it and I finally cave, promising myself that we’d still be friends. Just friends that gave each other a hand sometimes. 

Before I can talk myself out of it, I nod, moving to undo the button on my pants. Benny reaches out and stills my hand with his own and I look up at him.

“I need you to say it out loud, sweetheart.”

I swallow hard, trying my best to give him eye contact. Were his eyes always so blue? 

“Y-yes.”

“Yes, what? I need specifics.”

I let out a huff and this fucker chuckles. “Touch me, Benny. I..want you to touch me.”

Benny scoots closer to me on the couch, his leg pressed against mine. His large hand cups my cheek as he dips his head close to mine, his breath puffing out over my face, fanning the anticipatory fire between my thighs. “Can I kiss you?” he whispers. 

“Yes.” 

I barely get it out before his lips are on mine, soft but guiding, his tongue gently probing at my lips. I open them and his tongue slides inside my mouth, gracefully dancing with my own as he moans slightly into me. Both of his hands are on my face now, cupping my cheeks as he continues to kiss me. Then one moves to the back of my head, slightly gripping my hair as he tips my head back, exposing my neck to him. I gasp as his teeth skirt along my skin, gently nipping and kissing along my pulse point. The hand that isn’t entangled in my hair starts to glide down my body, barely even fumbling as he unbuttons my pants. But he doesn’t touch me. Not yet. Over my jeans, he caresses my inner thighs as I spread my legs, tracing the line where my underwear sits, up and down, up and down, driving me mad. My heart is racing, pounding against my ears. I feel him pause just above my mound and I want to cry. 

“Can you slide your pants off for me?” He breathes into my ear. My hands fumble as I try to shove and kick my pants off, ignoring the smirk on Benny’s face as the pants land somewhere across the room. 

“Panties too. Promise I won’t look.” He covers his face, a large gap between his fingers where his eye is obviously looking out. 

“Don’t you need to see?”

He closes the gap in his fingers but keeps his eyes covered. “Nope. Your sounds will guide me to where I need to be.”

Fuck. Me.

I toss my underwear somewhere by my pants. “Ok I’m-”

I have no time to think because he’s back on me, kissing me hard, like he’s never needed anything so bad. My fingers tangle in his hair, the cool air from his apartment hitting my bare skin, but I don’t care. Benny’s large hand is on my inner thighs again, tracing circles, but also pushing them open. I keep them where he leaves them, my body practically shaking with anticipation.

One long finger slides down me and I jolt, my thighs trying to close, but he pushes them back open before resuming his touch. He slides all the way down to my entrance, gently tracing circles there and I gasp, my eyes still closed as I let myself get lost in his touch. Our foreheads are pressed together, his own breaths coming out a little more ragged as he drags his dampened finger back up me, pausing when my legs jump. He takes his time at this spot, small circles across my clit, fast and slow, fast and slow, my breaths coming out in small, fast pants. 

He slows his movements, gently pushing a finger inside me. I moan, louder as he pulls out and adds a second finger, curling them inside of me as he moves them in and out. One spot has me gasping his name and that’s where he stays, curling and rubbing inside of me as his thumb resumes circling my clit, slow and fast, gentle and harder, the pressure building quick and fast. I grip his wrist and he stills. 

“Can I touch you? I want you to come with me.”

He nods and I move my hand over and undo his button, sliding his zipper down gently. He’s already hard, straining against his boxers. I lower them enough for him to spring free and he grunts. I grip his wrist again and pull his hand out of me with a whimper, but then slide him back in and out, fucking myself with his hand a few times as he moans in my ear. Then I take his wet hand and rub it against my palm, dropping his hand back on me before gripping him with my slicked hand. He whimpers, swearing under his breath before he pushes his fingers inside me again, immediately resuming the slow curling and rubbing, his thumb pressing gently on my clit. I slowly work him up and down, squeezing harder and softer, matching my pace to his. He kisses me hard but then breaks it, our foreheads pressed together as we pant and moan. 

In some super move, he pushes me onto my back, his hand still firmly working me over, my legs spread wide as he settles between them, fucking his hips into my hand. His arm strains next to me as he holds himself up, curling his fingers a little deeper, swirling a little more and I can’t hold back anymore. I cum, his name tumbling from my lips in praise, my legs twitching as I pulse around his fingers. Another few presses of his hips and Benny grunts, small pants coming from him as he spills himself over my stomach, my shirt hiked up to my chest. We stay like that for several long moments, both of us trying to catch our breaths. His eyes open and meet mine, holding my gaze for a moment before he blinks, pulling his hand from me as he sits up. He tucks himself back in as he looks around, shrugs, then reaches behind him and pulls his shirt up and over his head. He drops his shirt on my cunt, using the sleeve to clean off my stomach, to hold up his promise of not looking. He glances down and picks up my underwear and pants, handing them to me as he turns his head away. I make sure I’m cleaned off before getting dressed, sitting back down on the couch, the movie still playing on in the background. Minutes pass in silence between us, my stomach twisting in knots with every passing second. 

Benny clears his throat. “So…are we never talking about this again or can I finally take you on a date?”

My eyes snap up to him, his already on me. There’s no pressure here, he’d be ok if I said we’re never talking about it again. But that’s not what I want. 

“Just so long as we can have dessert at home.”

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[stars4noah]

TELL THE STARS- one.

{WARNINGS}: swearing

w.c- 2,023

a.n- i've only written one chapter of this and i'm in love. sorry it's so short, i'm having brain farts rn :(

{TAGLIST}: nothing yet..

for years, noah had been searching. the red string bound to his pinky felt like it was burning through his skin. he wasn't usually a man of religion or prayer, but he would pray to the stars that one day he would find her. his soulmate.

he was making his morning coffee run for himself and the others before they took off for the beginning of their tour when a young girl bumped into him, spilling her coffee all over his shirt. she apologized profusely, panicking and helping wipe his shirt with some napkins, while he was stood frozen, staring at the string that connected the two of them.

NOAH'S POV.

today marked the beginning of our tour. new album, new fans, bigger shows. bad omens had gotten bigger than i had ever expected, and i had a smile on my face the whole way i was walking to some coffee shop, looking down at my phone.

as the bell rang, announcing my arrival, i felt a small push against my chest, followed by cold liquid all over me. my eyes widened as i looked down to see a girl apologizing over and over again, trying to help me clean my shirt.

"fuck." i cursed as i registered what happened before noticing the red string that tied us together. i snapped out of my haze, knowing she was likely very confused.

"hey, it's alright. no big deal. accidents happen. let me buy you a new one, yeah?" i smiled sweetly.

"sorry, i really would, but i have to go. sorry!" she said, rushing out of the store before i could even get another word in. would it be weird for me to chase after her? probably.

i groaned, running a hand over my face. i forced myself to commit her face to memory. if i met her again, i would have to stop her. i think that she was so busy and in such a rush to get to her destination, she didn't even notice the obvious.

we were soulmates.

with a small smile and a dirty shirt, i ordered mine and the band's drinks and waited patiently.

i ran into the house quickly, putting the drinks on the kitchen counter as i was met with eyes of confusion. "woah, dude, what's going on?" matt asked, and a huge goofy smile spread across my face.

"i met my soulmate."

their eyes widened. "seriously? where is she?" nicholas asked, a smile taking over his features as well.

"oh uh... she left. i met her but i didn't meet meet her, you know?"

jolly raised an eyebrow. "so what happened?"

"i walked into the coffee shop and this girl spilled her coffee all over me and i realized her string was connected to mine! and then i offered to replace her drink but she said she had to go and just rushed out before i could say anything else."

i sighed, a look of longing in my eyes as i leaned against the counter and tried to come up with a plan on how i could find her again. i refused to leave LA before i got her number at least. knowing she was out there, i couldn't go out on tour for almost a year not knowing her name or anything about her.

"we have to find her. fast." i said.

READER'S POV.

i rushed out of the coffee shop, running to my car and quickly driving off. i had just been hired for some new stage tech job for some band and i could not afford to be late. plus, these guys payed pretty well. and one of them could be my soulmate, who knows?

i put the address for the airport into the gps, driving as fast as i could without getting pulled over. today had already been such a shitty day, and it was almost 8 am. lord knows what would happen if i-

whoop!

"oh, come on!" i groaned, looking at the flashing red and blue lights from the rearview mirror. i pulled over into some parking lot, putting my car in park and running my hands over my face. this day could not get worse.

"ma'am, do you know why i pulled you over?" the officer asked as i rolled down my window.

"speeding, probably." i said, the officer giving me a disapproved look at my slight attitude. they took my license and registration, walking off for a moment before coming back with all my stuff and the added bonus of a ticket.

i huffed as i pulled away. "$200 fucking dollars. jesus christ." i said.

i soon pulled up to the airport, parking my car which took longer than i'd like to admit. i was only a couple minutes late as i walked into the airport, looking for a familiar face. and i was shocked when i found them, only to see two familiar faces.

oh right. the guy from the coffee shop.

'please don't be my boss, please don't be my boss.' i thought to myself as i walked over to them, a soft smile on my face.

"oh, good! you're here!" matt said. i smiled back, giving him a small hug in greeting. him and i had been best friends since we were kids, and he offered me the job not too long ago. of course, needing the money, i said yes. i had a degree in that kind of stuff anyways, so it wasn't much of a bother. i knew what i was doing for the most part.

he introduced me to everyone, the last person being the cute guy from the coffee shop.

"and this is noah, our lead singer and boss."

'fuck!' i cursed internally.

brand new job, and i already made a terrible first impression. i shook his hand, my eyes going down to his pinky out of habit. i froze when i saw his string connected to mine, my eyes widening as i looked back up at him, though he didn't seem to notice. did he not see the string? or did he not recognize me? i didn't want to say anything out of fear of seeming like a weirdo, so i said nothing and continued walking with them to security.

security was a breeze, and we all sat down at our terminal as we waited for the plane.

"so.. have you met your soulmate?" i asked noah, looking up at him. he smiled softly.

"yeah, today actually. she bumped into me at a coffee shop. didn't get her name though. or a good look at her face. you?"

i nodded, biting my lip. "i think so."

"oh yeah? how?"

i took a breath. "uh.. funny story." i laughed. "i don't think he recognizes me. we got a glimpse of each other for like a minute and i ran off."

"oh, well you should try to find him." noah said.

"actually, i-"

"flight 202 is now boarding." the intercom spoke.

i cursed as noah and i got split up again. we boarded the plane, me sitting beside matt next to the window and noah a couple rows behind us sitting by nicholas.

i sighed as i sat down, running my hands over my face with a groan.

"hey, what's wrong?" matt asked as he got comfortable beside me.

"i'm like, 99.9 percent sure that noah is my soulmate. and he doesn't recognize me. and every time we talk we get interrupted before i can say anything." i said, and matt's eyes widened.

"wait, you're cute coffee shop girl?"

"yes!" i said. "why do you think i was running late? i spilled my coffee all over him and then i got pulled over. today has been the worst."

matt laughed softly, patting my back.

"it'll get better. i promise."

a couple hours later, we arrived at some airport in florida. our first show was in orlando, so once we got out of the airport we headed straight to the tour bus to start our drive.

"alright." noah said. "[y/n], you can have the bunk above mine. we're gonna be here for a good few hours, so make yourself at home."

i nodded and smiled softly, my eyes darting down to his pinky again.

the whole soulmate thing was a weird process. after you officially met your soulmate, your string disappeared, leaving you with a mark on your finger with a color that matched that of your soulmate's. noah's was green, as was mine. he hadn't noticed though.

"hey, no-"

"noah! come here for a sec!" folio called, and noah excused himself before heading to the front of the bus to talk to his friend.

i climbed into my bunk, groaning into my pillow. every time i was close to telling him, he got distracted. couldn't one thing go right in my life?

before i knew it, the exhaustion of the day had crept up on me, lulling me into sleep. all of my worries seemingly faded away for the time being, and i relaxed for the first time in hours.

until i was woken up again, water being splashed on my face. i sat up quickly, hitting my head on the top of my bunk. "jesus- ow!" i said, looking at the five boys who were in front of me, matt holding the now empty bottle of water. he tried to contain his laugh, noticing how i looked at him with a glare.

"i hate you." i said.

"you love me."

as we prepared the arena for the tour, matt showed me how things worked. how to set up the speakers, the different tracks and when they need to be played, and all of that stuff. i tried to stay out of the way for the time being, only doing things when i was told to do them.

i'd never seen noah perform before. i'd never even heard of the band until matt gave me the job opportunity. but seeing him perform on stage was something different entirely. how could a man with such a sweet face have such a powerful voice? it was crazy.

i tried to ignore my growing arousal as i watched him perform. the way he moved, the way he spoke and smiled and screamed. it was all so beautiful. so infatuating. i was so caught up in my own thoughts i didn't even notice when the show ended. and just like always, every time i tried to talk to him, he ended up having something else to do. i could barely get three words out before he had to go and see some fans or sign some papers or some rockstar shit. it was starting to piss me off.

i threw my bag on my bed as we got back to the hotel. first show, and i was in a bad mood. the whole day, nothing had been going the way i needed it to. i couldn't even bring attention to the fact that i was his soulmate. standing right in front of him, and he didn't even notice.

just like i didn't notice someone walk into the room, right i was taking off my shirt.

"oh, shit!"

i screamed, quickly covering myself as i turned around.

"fuck, noah! what are you doing?" i questioned, my eyes wide in confusion and shock.

"i- we- we're um.. sharing a room. i thought matt told you." he said, a hand over his eyes.

of course. matt.

i huffed, pulling my shirt back on. "you can look now."

he slowly uncovered his eyes, not wanting to make eye contact with me. i was just so tired, my mind didn't even think to tell him about the whole soulmate thing.

i sighed. "it's been a long day. i'm sorry, i'm just gonna go to sleep."

"no, don't apologize. i get it. get your rest." he said, getting in his bed as i got into mine.

while i dozed off, i didn't notice his eyes on me. or rather his eyes on that little mark on my finger, followed by a soft whisper of my name. i had already fallen asleep.

[deadpool15]

Delicate Flower

Warning ‼️-Sexual encounters, Penetrative sex, fem receiving oral, Jealousy, Rough Sex, Overstimulation, Squirting, creampie

“Wait sooo, why are you telling me this?” Hyunjin asked while staring wide eyed at Seungmin. The conversation at there usual boys night for the members ventured off to a completely different topic after one too many shots were taken. “Well, I wasn’t necessarily telling you I was just speaking out loud with you in the room to be honest, you having large ears is your own responsibility.” The slick remark catching Hyun so off guard he just stares in silence. “When did she tell you anyways, you two aren’t that close?” Min smiled at the question seeking to tease his member about the situation, “we are actually very close, she was just simply telling me about her life and what not. Then, she just spilled that she is a virgin, I was shocked but I let it go unlike you seem to be able to right now”.

Few weeks later….

I couldn’t get it out of my head, Lily was a virgin. I don’t know why it shocked me considering how she is with anything sexual. Looking back I started to realize the differences in her attitude whenever sexual encounters were brought up, she wouldn’t completely shut down of course. Though, it seems she was always brush it off and manage to flip the conversation around to another person. Never thinking too much of it in the moment. Not even noticing it. I felt bad about the whole thing, now that I knew it’s as if my mind wouldn’t let it go. Whenever, I would see Lily I felt wrong. She was so innocent and probably didn’t even know who to do certain things and all my brain could think about was being the one and only person to teach her.

It started off as little things nothing major. Seeing her around the company and using any excuse to leave. But rehearsing could only get me so far especially since she was friends with all the members. Then, it got worse I started having dreams about her.

Moving around in bed I notice my room lap is on, “could’ve sworn I turned that off”. I reach over my bedside to turn it off yet again in my mind until I take notice of Lily. In my room. That’s never happened before. “Hyun, sorry I was waiting for you to wake up, we were supposed to meet the members. I was closer to the dorm so I suggested to come get you but you were sleeping. Didn’t wanna wake you.” Looking at her she was dressed in a babydoll nightie. She loved those, though I can truthfully say not nearly as much as me. She always looked so delicate in them, as if she was waiting for someone to taint that perfect little imagine of her. “You know, you talk in your sleep, not fully but I could make out what you were saying.” Hearing that I froze.

There was no way this was happening right now, she isn’t here. “You want to have sex with me Hyun, that’s really dirty of you. I’m like your best friend. Chan thinks of me as a little sister, I thought you did as well. But you’re just a disgusting pervert. Right, Hyun?” The fucked up part about this was seeing her like that in that outfit was making this worse. I wanted to completely defile her. Only to put the pieces back together afterwards. Reaching out to grab her waist, she was always so soft. “I’m not a pervert, Lily bear. You’re just- something special to me.” She looks up at me with those big eyes and I can only imagine how they will look while she is choking on my cock.

“You want to choking on your cock, wow Hyun. You’re just disgusting. Can’t believe you would say that out loud pretty boy. But I don’t believe you have the right equipment for all that anyways. We should go the boys are already at the restaurant.” She goes to turn around but no before I pull her back to settle in my lap. “The right equipment baby, you’re fucking joking right? You don’t think I’m big enough for you?” I could tell by the slight smirk and the essence that seeping through her short ass bottoms she was getting off to this. “Wow, here I was thinking you were a good little obedient girl and you turned out to be just a whore. Getting off on my thigh, just need a big cock to fill that little virgin pussy to the brim don’t you, sweets?”….

Moving back and forth across my lap, humping me like a dog in heat she continues her little ministration. “Making promises you can’t keep, I wouldn’t be able to tell it was in realistically. But go on prove you’re a big boy.” Hearing that was just enough to set me off boys be dammed. I was gonna teach her to behave. Aggressive kisses running down her neck leaning into her chest. I moved to pull her top off leaving nothing but her bare, just sitting there all perfect for me. “You talk so much shit for your body to be aching for me right now, waiting to be filled.” Before, she could get a word at I manhandled her over. Throwing her into the middle of my bed so she could be on all fours.

Yanking her bottoms down while leaving raspberry like kisses down her spine. “Coming to my room with just this shit on, you were asking to be fucked. Every time, I see you walking around the dorm for other men to see you huh? You want them too?” Leaning over her while gripping the globes of her ass in the palm of my hands. “Fuck, you’re perfect.” My brain was in overdrive right now I finally had her right where I wanted her, nothing else mattered to me as she was later out arching while my thumb rubbed figure 8’s against her clit. Leaking all over my bed puffy and swollen. I was practically in heaven, until she had to screw me over.

“You weren’t exactly my target audience, I was hoping maybe Lixie would notice but I could settle for you.” Hearing that completely fucked me up. “Bullshit.” Not even letting her start up again before I jammed my finger inside her. “A-ahhh shit….w-wait Hyun.” Hearing the sloppy sounds of my fingers sloshing around inside of her fat cunt, it almost was enough to deter me from her bratty ass statement. I had to remain focused though, I couldn’t get pussy drunk just yet. “No, there’s not fucking wait gonna take my fingers in your little cunt and like it right. I was gonna be so gentle with you bear and you screwed me over like this. So, I know now you don’t need gentle love you need it rough.”

Jamming two more fingers straight in, I had to prepare her, as bratty as she was being I know she couldn’t take me without any prep. “Ooooohh…..shit f-fuck slow down”. She tried to push her hand out to stop me but I just moved them out the way. “You can take it, all that fucking attitude I know you can.” Having enough of waiting I shoved my face in between her thighs. “Ooo….god…Hyun…yesss.” Keeping up the rhythm my fingers started while shoving my tongue deep into her cunt as I sucked her clit in my mouth. She tasted amazing, “fuck you taste like strawberries baby, gonna have you sit on my face for hours next time ok.” Hearing no response I slapped her ass twice. Making her jolt and her head turned to look back at me while crying. Crying out not she was gonna cum for me for right in my mouth or I think I might lose it. Feeling her clench as I slapped her ass again. It felt almost like she was closing in on my tongue, I knew she was close. “Come on baby, in my mouth. Give it to me.”

Gripping her closer to me as she yelled out, “Fuckkkkkkkkkkkkk.” She squirted, first time ever and I made her squirt. Yea, it’s safe to say I was never getting over this moment. Picking up her braids gathering enough hair to pull her backwards. That arch was gonna make me slow my mind. She looked a mess her makeup was ruined mascara running down her face, sweating everywhere and not to mention the tears. And call me a sick asshole, but I loved every second of it. She was perfect. And mine. “Are you crying baby, really I haven’t even made you cum on my dick yet, too much?” She was so out of it I had to tap her face a couple of times. Must of took a lot out her, first orgasm. “You can take it, right ?” She started at me for a minute, then smiled, “I think your fingers wouldn’t disappoint me as much as your dick is going too.” Hearing that made me laugh, “I hope you never lose your spark bear, because from now on I’m gonna love fucking the fight right outta ya.”

“Prove it. Stop talking Hyun.” Letting go of her face she lands back on the pillows, I move slightly so I can drop my pants and underwear. Leaving my throbbing cock to sit in my hands as I stroke it firmly, Lily tries to turn and take a look. I hurry and place my palms on her back deepening the arch. “You don’t have to see, you’re gonna feel every inch inside you and know.” Pushing her head into the pillows just how I like it. I sit there and admire her, my little brat. I slowly start to push in not wanting to overwhelm her. But it was probably the most difficult task in my life considering how tight she was, it was as if my fingers weren’t even in her before. It takes all my willpower not to just hammer into her. Inch by inch it feels like the process takes forever. “Oo my god you’re too fucking big Hyun, wait.” I start leaving more kisses on her back and playing with her clit, trying to distract her from the pressure. “Can you take more for me baby? I know you can I mean you said I was little, remember?” As much as I want to make the pain go away I can’t resist teasing her.

“F-fuck there is more omg wait are you….s-shit. T-too big Hyun.” I just grab ahold of her hips and start to shove the remaining length inside of her. She screams and I give her a minute to recover, she feels like fucking heaven on the inside so warm and wet. Gripping me so tightly. It’s like I’m in a haze for a moment until I hear her hitting me in the thigh to start moving. Without any further explanation, I start slamming my hips into hers leaving her thrashing around the bed clawing at the sheets. She tries to move her hand to my waist to slow me down again. “No we aren’t doing that shit again, I’m too small for you remember that. So, take it.” She continues to scream and moan and I lose myself in the pleasure of it all. “Come on louder, b-baby…fuck.” I manage to find that beautiful spot that has her quivering and running away from me, feeling it trapped around my cock is gonna make me pass out. “So… f-fucking wet, angel. Lixie can’t get you like this.” I reach down to thumb her clit again. Best night of my life. Before I know she clenching and squirting again. “Yes, sweets give me more f-fuck just like t-that.” And my hips continued to hammer into her overstimulating muscles and all it meant nothing to me, I needed her to realize she was mine. “Yes, sweets throw that sit on me come on give it t-to me baby.” As she started to fuck her plush ass back against me only one thing was running through my mind. Hearing her moan my name until she couldn’t speak anymore, spanking her til her ass was raw just like her pussy was my mission. From that night forward. No more was the delicate little flower.

Hope y’all enjoy 😉 and plzzzz ignore the spelling if it’s wrong I never check it I need to do better.

[lastoneout]

OH MY FUCKING GOD??

We actually managed to get ahold of the doctor I saw last before I left yesterday(who I believe was my doctor for the whole stay) and he said that the nurse was either misinformed or straight up lying to me about what dose I was being given AND they denied me medication he prescribed!!

Apparently, they usually start patients with 5mg of oxycodone once they're in their rooms after surgery and IF THAT ISNT ENOUGH they are instructed to give me another dose to bring me up to 10mg and if it wears off I should have been given more even if it was within six hours, so yeah the nurses not only TOLD ME I was being given 10mg when I fucking WASN'T, they were ALSO SUPPOSED TO GIVE ME MORE MEDS THE SECOND I SAID WHAT THEY'D ALREADY GIVEN ME WASN'T HELPING OR IF THEY WORE OFF EARLY AND THE WHOLE "YOU ONLY CAN TAKE IT EVERY 6 HOURS EVEN IF IT WEARS OFF AND YOU'RE SOBBING AND AT A 10" THING WAS HORSESHIT.

The pharmacy ALSO did not fill all of the scripts they were given?? The doctor told us that on top of the pain meds he prescribed miralax to help with the ungodly, agonizing bloating I'm dealing with AND A MUSCLE RELAXER TO HELP WITH THE PAIN neither of which were given to me OR EVEN PUT ON MY DISCHARGE PAPERWORK.

The Doctor not only apologized profusely, he said he's going to talk to the nurses I had and let them know what they were doing was directly contrary to his instructions and that isn't fucking okay, and up the dose of the painkiller with a new script since the current one just isn't helping enough and the only thing I have to do is bring in and swap whatever I have left of the old ones, AND make sure the muscle relaxer and miralax get filled!!

He also let us know the setting my shunt is at, the headache I have is normal but if it gets really bad or lasts more than a few days (or if I just feel like something isn't right) that I should call back or just go to the ER, that I should be drinking 64oz of water a day as well as whatever electrolyte drinks I want, AND I can have coffee which should help, and sprite or ginger ale or anything I think will help with the nausea.

I take the shit I said about the doctor back HE knew what the fuck he was doing, the nursing staff and pharmacy just fucked the hell up for whatever reason. Which like...ngl given that two of the nurses were standing in the hallway, ignoring my repeated requests for help and the fact that I was literally sobbing in agony at even the lightest touch in favor of shit talking me!! I feel like maybe we had a case of at least some of the nurses being assholes for no reason. I will probably never know why but I do have a buzz cut, am giving off undeniably queer ass vibes, and had gay pride buttons on my bag, I live in Arizona, and I'm almost certain my gender in the system is set as nonbinary so....I can say for sure but it does makes me wonder.

(Honestly tho it's probably just them being understaffed and stressed and the whole "med school essentially teaches you that all patients are so stupid you can't trust anything they say AND drug addicts waiting to happen" thing and/or the fact that the worst people in the world will always seek out positions of power and being a nurse is a great way for terrible people to gain concerning amounts of power over vulnerable people.)

I'm still never going to this fucking hospital again unless I have literally no other choice tho. They have a long history of treating me and my family like complete and utter shit—like the horror stories I could tell I s2g they nearly killed my mom due to neglecting her severely infected leg for TWELVE HOURS—that place is run by people who literally only care about profit and staffed with the worst, most cruel and careless nurses I've ever met(and that sucks because they are partnered with the local university so basically ALL nursing students in my city train there) and the few that do give a shit are so stressed and miserable they can barely provide care at all.

Christ alive. What a fucking hellhole. Glad I was right about these last two days being a nightmare of bullshit and I never, ever should have been treated that way. Small comfort, but it's still a comfort.

Anyway I'm gonna go take my new, correctly dosed meds, eat something, and take a nap o7 sorry for all the venting, hopefully this is the last of it.

[honeyfarts666]

A Party Most Vile

Lucius Verus x OFC

Mutual non-con, Slavery, Breeding, Angst, Aftercare, Shame (please check out all the tags listed on Ao3 for full content warning)

Part 1 on Ao3 or tumblr New! Part 2 on Ao3 or under the cut ↓

Excerpt: “I am giving you this lovely, young thing,” Macrinus said slowly, “and you reject my gift. Is there something wrong with her, I don’t know about?”

Lucius shook his head. “No!” he shouted a bit too emphatically. It took a surprising amount of restraint for Lucius to resist rushing forward and tackling Macrinus. He was amazed by the fierce protectiveness he felt for Naevia. She was not bound to him and she was not his responsibility. But she had caught Macrinus’s notice because of him. He could not let anyone else get caught up in the mess of his revenge.

@okyeeaaahhhh @writersrash @buttermilktea11 Thank you guys so much for commenting on the last one!! I hope you enjoy!!

Lucius gritted his teeth as he was escorted down the hall to Macrinus’s chamber. He had been taken directly from practice, and his bare chest glistened with sweat. He was certain he stank terribly, but he disliked his master, so there was some small satisfaction to be had. Yet, the meeting loomed large in his mind. It was their first since the disgusting party he had been forced to perform at. Macrinus’s displeasure at his behavior had been obvious. Lucius prayed that this meeting would be about something else. Even a conversation about his true identity would be more welcome than reliving that nightmare.

Macrinus was at his writing desk when the guards brought Lucius in. “Leave us,” Macrinus ordered with a wave of his hand. The guards silently left them and the door was shut. Macrinus sat back in his chair and appraised Lucius as he had many times before. Sunshine streamed though the window behind him, illuminating him like a deity from some distant land. Silence sang between them. Perhaps Macrinus hoped Lucius would crack and finally speak freely. If so, Macrinus would have to try harder.

Finally, after a long moment, Macrinus said, “The slave girl at the party…”

Lucius’s heart dropped into his stomach. There went all his hopes of a short, easy conversation. Macrinus wanted something. And he wasn’t a man accustomed to being denied his desires. Lucius straightened his back and replied, “What of her?”

Macrinus stood and walked around his desk to stand a few paces in front of Lucius. He repressed a smile as he asked, “Did you know her before the party?”

Lucius furrowed his brow. He hadn’t expected that. “No,” he answered swiftly, “I had never seen her before that day.”

Macrinus raised one brow. “Really?” he asked incredulously. 

“Yes,” Lucius firmly answered. He didn’t understand what Macrinus was getting at, but the last thing he wanted was for Naevia to get in trouble because of him. Because he said something stupid or thoughtless. But it was the truth. He didn’t know her at all.

Macrinus leaned in slowly and asked, “Then why did you run away with her? Help me understand that, Lucius.”

Lucius stared into his master’s gleaming eyes. How could he possibly answer in a way that this savage man would understand? Certainly not the truth! The truth that, after the shame of fucking the girl in front of a crowd, all he wanted was to be alone with her. To get away from the staring eyes and cruel sneers. To touch her tenderly and let her know that he wasn’t a beast. That he hadn’t wanted any of it. 

Lucius shook his head and glanced up at Macrinus’s waiting face. He grimaced and gave the best answer he could think of, “She looks like my wife.”

Macrinus’s expression softened. “Your wife, she died during Acacius’s invasion?”

Lucius nodded in reply. 

Macrinus looked into Lucius’s face, studying him intently. Lucius tried to ignore it. He tried focusing on the floor, on the desk, the chair. But it was no use. Macrinus crowded his space, and Lucius was forced to look the older man in the eye. Suddenly, almost as an afterthought, Macrinus muttered, “You have the look of your grand-sire.” For the second time in as many minutes, Lucius was surprised. Macrinus smiled and took a step back to pick up his cup from the desk. “Although, that is to be expected when he is your grand-sire twice over,” Macrinus chuckled before taking a sip of wine.

Lucius gave Macrinus a darting look. “Twice over?” he asked cautiously.

“Ah!” Macrinus gave him a playfully pleased smile and leaned against the desk, “So, the rumors are true!”

“I don’t know what rumors you speak of,” Lucius replied, his features settling into a deep frown. 

Macrinus chuckled to himself and then spoke with a wicked gleam of spite in his eye, “That Commodus was your true sire.”

Lucius couldn’t restrain the scoff that fell from his lips. Of course, Macrinus would believe the worst tales he heard! The most vile rumors spread the fastest. But it was actually a relief to hear. If Macrinus believed that Commodus was his father, then he hadn’t overheard any of the conversation Lucius had with Lucilla. Macrinus knew nothing of the coup that Lucilla and Acacius were brewing. Nor the revelation of Lucius’s true father. Lucius had many complicated feelings about his mother. But he sent a silent prayer of thanks to all the gods he knew. She would be safe, as would her secrets.

Macrinus inclined his head towards Lucius. “Oh, come now!” he teased, “Tell me the truth!”

Lucius let out a short laugh and said, “I cannot tell you. I wasn’t there when it happened!”

Macrinus let out a boisterous laugh and said, “True, indeed! But you must know?”

Lucius gritted his teeth but stayed still. He didn’t trust himself. He knew his temper. And he was growing tired of Macrinus’s prying. He didn’t care what anyone believed about him! The whole world could believe he was an inbred bastard and he wouldn’t bat an eye. Let the vermin think whatever suits them. Lucius lifted his chin and said, “The only father I have ever known, was the man for who I was named.”

Macrinus let out a disappointed hum. He tapped his hand on the table and took another sip of his wine. Another unsettling smile crossed his face as he swept his hand toward the door. “I have a gift for you.”

Lucius didn’t think the sudden change of subject could be a good sign. And he certainly didn’t want anything from Macrinus. Even supposed gifts came with their price. 

Just then, a servant opened the door to the study and held it open for another to enter. Lucius’s eyes dilated and every last whips of air left his lungs as he saw her: Naevia. She looked much the same as she had upon their first meeting. She wore the simple garments of a slave and left her hair loose around her. As her eyes landed on his, he saw her take a shuddering breath. Clearly, she hadn’t expected to see him either. Lucius tried to remain composed. He tried to hide the tidal wave of emotion that ripped through him. But it was impossible. He felt his jaw twitch horribly before he managed to snap his mouth shut. Had Macrinus bought her? Or had she been his slave the whole time?

Once Naevia was inside, the servant left and shut the door behind him. Naevia jumped slightly at the harsh sound of heavy timber against metal. 

Macrinus gave Lucius a long glance and then burst into roarious laughter. Only at that terrible sound was Lucius finally able to tear his eyes from Naevia. Macrinus, still grinning broadly, said, “I have never seen a man look so bleak after being given a woman!”

Lucius didn’t dare look at Naevia again, even though he wanted to. He wanted to reassure her. But Macrinus would use anything he observed to his advantage. He had to show him that he didn’t care about her. “I have no need for her,” he announced in what he hoped was a steady voice. “You can put her back wherever she came from.”

The smile faded from Macrinus’s face. For the first time, he seemed annoyed. He set down his cup and approached Naevia. He ran his fingers through her hair and tugged on a curl. She repressed a shiver and held still. She was clearly afraid. Lucius could see it even before she looked up at him with her huge, brown eyes. “I am giving you this lovely, young thing,” Macrinus said slowly, “and you reject my gift. Is there something wrong with her, I don’t know about?”

Lucius shook his head. “No!” he shouted a bit too emphatically. It took a surprising amount of restraint for Lucius to resist rushing forward and tackling Macrinus. He was amazed by the fierce protectiveness he felt for Naevia. She was not bound to him and she was not his responsibility. But she had caught Macrinus’s notice because of him. He could not let anyone else get caught up in the mess of his revenge. 

Macrinus let go of Naevia’s hair, and she and Lucius breathed a sigh of relief. But it was short-lived. Macrinus crossed the room to stand in front of Lucius. “Give me a reason why?” he asked with evident impatience. 

Lucius was confident Macrinus had never experienced anything like the love that he and Arishat had shared. Nor anything as simple as the connection that had formed between him and Naevia. Macrinus would never understand. He was incapable! But Lucius had no other answer. So he spoke truthfully, “I have no desire for any except my wife.”

Naevia trembled at his confession. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her quiver and wrap her arms around her body. But there was little time for Lucius to notice it. Macrinus slammed his fist on his desk and shouted, “Your wife is dead!” Rage flashed through his features like a wildfire. But he quickly regained his composure. He breathed deeply and ran a steadying hand over his beard. As quickly as it had arrived, the rage left and the mask fell back into place. “In truth, I should have expected this from you,” he mused softly. After a moment of deathly silence, Macrinus turned back to Lucius. “Very well,” he said with a sudden confidence, “Since you will not take her as a gift, you’ll take her as a punishment.”

A deep dread pooled in Lucius’s stomach. He could guess Macrinus’s meaning, but he dared not even think it to himself. Macrinus gestured to a bright rug on the floor and said, “Lay her down there and fuck her.”

Lucius couldn’t restrain himself anymore. He could not play the part of the obedient slave. Not when his master was so needlessly cruel and foul. He let out a heavy sigh and said, “No.”

Macrinus cocked his head to one side. “You forget yourself, Hanno,” he mused with a barely perceptible fury. “You are not a soldier. You are not a free man. You are my property. My possession. I speak and you obey.”

Lucius gave his master a bitter smile. He had reached his limit. And he would bear no more. “No,” Lucius uttered again.

With a fluid motion, Macrinus pulled a dagger from somewhere in his robes. Lucius readied himself for a fight, but Macrinus didn’t approach him. Too late, Lucius realized that Macrinus reached for Naevia. Lucius started forward but froze as the point of the blade came to rest on Naevia’s throat. Macrinus used his other hand to wrap around her waist and hold her secure. In a steady voice, Macrinus said, “If you don’t want her, I’ll give her to my guards downstairs. I’m sure they would greatly enjoy a ripe, young thing such as her.” 

Naevia repressed a gasp and Lucius made a great effort not to look at her. He could feel every muscle in his body tightening with every passing second as he glared at Macrinus. The worst part was that he couldn’t understand why Macrinus went through such pains to torture him in such a twisted way. “Why?” he asked with bitter despair, “What do you gain from this?”

Lucius expected Macrinus to reply with a shout and a retort. Something to put him back in his place. Something that would remind him he was a slave now. But no such reply came. Instead, Macrinus gave him that twisted smile again. “It’s not what I gain,” he replied coyly, “But what you gain.” After a breath of anticipation, he continued, “An heir.” 

Lucius’s heart nearly stopped beating. He and Arishat had never considered having children. She always drank a special tea that prevented her from conceiving. Neither of them desired to bring a child into the world when the threat of war loomed so great. His feelings on the matter certainly hadn’t changed since losing his freedom. A child would mean only more pain and heartache. A child would only be a chain for Macrinus to bind him with. 

Before Lucius could formulate a response, Macrinus pulled his blade away from Naevia’s neck. “Undress,” he commanded her. With a shaking hand, Naevia unfastened the ties of her robe and let the long garment fall to the floor. Her body was just as lovely as Lucius remembered. Without another word, Marcinus pushed Naevia forward, into Lucius’s arms. He caught her against his chest, and he finally felt like he could breathe. His mind knew that she was anything but safe. But he couldn’t help but feel relief. Naevia’s whole body was tense and she gripped onto Lucius’s arms for dear life. He ran his hand over her back, trying to comfort her. 

“The rug, now!” Macrinus ordered. Lucius glared up at him. Macrinus gave no other response. He only twirled the dagger, with the point on the edge of the desk. It was a casually calculated image. A threat hanging in the air, ready to be made real at any moment. Numbly, Lucius walked to the rug, taking Naevia with him. She didn’t resist, but he felt her shudder in dread. He couldn’t imagine how frightened she must be. If anything, his fate would be easy. He would likely die in the arena soon. But she would be forced to live and bear a child, his child. 

At the rug, he let go of Naevia to free the ties of his britches and drop them to the floor. Unlike at the party, the simple sight of Naevia’s nude body wasn’t enough to make him aroused. He glanced around for oil to help ease his way but saw nothing that could help him. Macrinus rounded his desk to sit in his chair and said, “Naevia.” She startled to attention and tightly clasped her arms to cover her breasts before turning to their master. Macrinus continued, “Get on your knees and help Hanno get ready.”

Naevia took a sharp breath before she nodded. Slowly, she sank down onto her knees. Lucius’s eyes followed her as she lowered down. He couldn’t deny the sight of her in such a submissive position was beautiful. He felt his cock starting to grow stiff just looking at her on her knees in front of him. His stomach twisted in disgust at the idea that he could enjoy this. And he regretted that he had not been allowed to bathe before the meeting. Everything about him must repulse her. But then he felt her soft mouth on him, and all the blood in his body rushed into his cock. She gripped his base in her hand and bobbed her mouth over his tip. Sucking him and then swirling her tongue over him in turn. Lucius swallowed dryly. He kept his eyes closed, not wanting to see Macrinus staring at him from across the room. His tight jaw relaxed just enough for his lips to part and a soft groan to leave his lips. Naevia seemed encouraged by the sound and took more of his length into her mouth. Lucius groaned again, louder this time. He ran his fingers though her hair and looked down at her as she took as much of his cock as she could. Unconsciously, he began to rock his hips into her.

“That’s enough!” Macrinus shouted, stopping them in their tracks. Lucius took a heavy breath as Naevia pulled her mouth off of him. He was fully erect and the top half of his cock glistened with Naevia’s spit. He caught her eye then. She was so beautiful on her knees. Spit dribbled down her lips and her eyes were wet from the effort of taking him. She gazed at him with a mixture of fear and arousal. “Go on!” Macrinus shouted from his desk. Naevia was the one who broke their gaze. She turned around on her knees so she faced away from Lucius. Then, she bowed forward, keeping her head down and putting her ass up high with her legs spread. Her pussy was on full display to him and he saw her lower lips glisten with her wetness. A ridiculous sort of pride filled Lucius’s chest. He knew it was childish, but the thought of her growing wet from having his cock in her mouth made him harder than he ever had been in his life. 

He knelt down between her spread legs and readied to plow her. He notched his cock to her entrance and he felt a delicious shiver run through her body. He pushed in the head of his cock and a gentle moan fell from Naevia’s lips. He found a guilty satisfaction in her anticipation. The whole ordeal would have been so much worse if she resisted him. But to feel her arousal as he entered her was more than he could have asked of her.

Before he could sink into her further, Macrinus interrupted them and asked, “Don’t you want to see her face while you take her?” Lucius couldn’t help it, even though he knew it was a bad idea, his eyes shot to Macrinus’s expression of feigned curiosity. “Or,” he continued, with their gaze locked, “is it easier to pretend she’s your wife when you can’t see her face?”

Lucius felt his face twist in rage. But he also felt Naevia tremble under him. Macrinus was intent on driving this knife as deep as possible. Making sure that Naevia overheard talk of his wife. Calling out Lucius’s disassociation. It was all part of Macrinus’s plan, whatever that was. The last time he had fucked her, Lucius had been afraid to look at Naevia. Not because it was easier to imagine Arishat, but because it was easier to imagine none of it was happening. But now, Naevia would believe she was nothing to him. That she was just a warm cunt he could fill and toss aside. He couldn’t live with that. With a great effort, he tore his eyes away from Macrinus’s smirk and turned back to Naevia. He pulled his tip out of her core, and a trail of her wetness drew out between them. 

Lucius put his hands on Naevia’s hips and encouraged her to turn. She flipped onto her back but kept her legs spread for him. Her pink folds glistening with her arousal. If they had been alone, he would have leaned into her ear and told her what a good girl she was as he filled her. But they weren’t alone. Instead, Lucius took in the sight of her silently. Her breasts shuddered with each frightened breath. Her hair was splayed out around her like a dark halo. And her eyes were on his. Her gaze never left him. It was as though the rest of the world faded away and they were the only two beings in all existence. Slowly, he crawled on top of her and loomed over her slight frame. He had been so afraid she would be repulsed by him. He wouldn’t have blamed her. Not after what he did to her. But she opened herself willingly and moaned as his cock brushed against her bud. He could scarcely believe it. He had raped her. He was about to rape her again. And for some reason, she chose to be nothing more than a delicate, obedient flower. So submissive and willing.  

Without ever taking his eyes away from hers, he lined himself up to her entrance and pressed into her. Her lips parted in a soft gasp as he filled her all the way. Her hands flew to his shoulders and she clung to him with a fierce need. She took him so well. He watched with fascination as her pupils dilated, half certain his must be doing the same. Her mouth hung open in a silent moan as he pulled out of her and then plunged back in, slowly building his pace, snapping his hips into hers with growing force. He leaned all of his weight on one arm and used the other to grip her thigh, pinning her open. Her eyes fluttered closed as he pounded into her. The room was filled with the wet slap of their bodies joining again and again. The only other sounds were the gentle whimpers Naevia gave each time she was filled. She was so perfect. So soft. So wet. All for him! 

Lucius couldn’t deny the jealous beast that grew inside of him. He couldn’t stand the thought of anyone else touching her. Macrinus said she would bear him a child. That was the purpose of this debauchery. To make him an heir. An heir to his grandfather’s line. Lucius imagined what Naevia would look like as she swelled with his child. The image only made him drive into her faster. He let out a heavy moan and rested his forehead against her shoulder. She smelled like bread and honey. He hated to admit it, but the thought of planting his seed in such a sweet girl only urged his need. A primal instinct burned in his mind. He needed to breed. He needed to create something before his miserable life was over. He needed to leave something behind. The animal drive to breed had activated somewhere in the distant corners of his mind, and he couldn’t control it. He felt how tightly her inner walls gripped his cock and all he wanted was to feel her pulse around him as she came. He moved his hand on her thigh between their bodies until his fingers brushed against her bud. Instantly, Naevia’s grip on his shoulder’s tightened. Her nails sunk into his skin and his gasped in response. Her grip on his cock also tightened. She pulsed in time with his ministrations. Clenching down on his length with each drag of his finger over her bud. 

Lucius picked his head up from the crook of her neck. As much as he loved breathing in her scent, he needed to see her. He looked up just as she pulsed around him. Her mouth fell open with a tender moan and her head tilted back, arching her spine. The noise was the sweetest thing he had ever heard. But she wasn’t looking at him. He needed  her to look at him. To see him. To know him. “Look at me,” he demanded between harsh thrusts. Naevia’s eyes fluttered open, but she was looking up at the ceiling. Not at him. “Look at me,” he demanded again, louder this time and with a harsher tone. Naevia’s eyes snapped to his and he felt instant relief. She was burning as much as he was. Every ounce of her essence pulsed with need. A need for him. Lucius gasped as he beheld her. He still couldn’t believe how open and sweet and willing she was for him. He didn’t deserve any of it. He was wholly unworthy. He deserved to feel overwhelming shame. But instead, she was gushing around his cock, making him feel in a way he thought he never would again. He was getting close and he could feel she was too. 

Lucius pinched her bud between his fingers and her walls clenched down on his length. She became impossibly tight and let out a breathy cry. Her eyes were wide and wild as she came on his cock. Lucius let out a low groan as he surged into her as he found his own release. As his warm seed flooded her womb, his eyes fluttered shut and he wondered if it would take root. He rested his forehead against Naevia’s and tried to calm his hammering heart. His chest heaved with each breath but otherwise, he stilled. 

Lucius quickly came down from the high of his orgasm as his mind filled with new anxieties. What if his seed didn’t take? How long would Macrinus force them to do this? Would Naevia be punished if they failed to produce a child? But even worse were the anxieties that came if she did conceive. Would Macrinus be angry if the child was a girl? Would he demand more children from them? If it was a boy, would he be forced to train as a gladiator? Would he be branded and marked? Would he spend his whole life as a slave? Would the boy look like him?

Lucius was vaguely aware of the sound of Macrinus pushing back his chair and walking toward them. But he didn’t fully become aware of his master until he was just a few paces away. Macrinus approached and then walked past them. He opened a cabinet on the far wall and proceeded to go about his business, content to ignore the naked slaves entwined on his rug. Almost as an afterthought, Macrinus mused, “It is a shame your mother never gave you a sister. Then I could have bred you with her! Kept the family tradition alive.”

If Macrinus had said such a thing to him earlier in their conversation, Lucius would have struck him, no matter the consequences. But now, with his cock buried in Naevia’s core and the haze of his anxieties dulling his senses, he couldn’t find the will to do anything about it. Perhaps if he really had a sister, he would have cared more. At least, it was impossible for Macrinus to make it real. 

Lucius had been so desperate for eye contact in the throes of his passion. But now, he couldn’t bring himself to meet Naevia’s gaze. Her face was right below his, but he stubbornly refused to look at her. Even as she whispered his name, “Lucius.” It was so soft he barely heard it. But still, her voice rang like music in his ears. He closed his eyes, willing her to disappear from under him. Willing all his guilt and shame to disappear too. “Lucius,” she whispered again, slightly louder. But still, he couldn’t look at her. As Lucius pulled out of her, Naevia gasped and shivered. But Lucius wasn’t in a state to comfort her. He pulled away from her. He got up onto his knees and sat back on his haunches. Naevia was splayed out before him, her legs spread wide. He watched in a mixture of dread and fascination as his seed spilled from her lower lips. The instinct to spread his seed and reproduce had faded away with his climax. He felt a wave of nausea wash though him. It passed quickly, but in its place came a deep and biting shame. He never thought he’d be in this situation. He had heard many gladiators speak of the children they had fathered in whores and courtesans. And he had once believed himself to be above such things. Naevia shivered on the floor. She gathered her arms under her and weakly pushed herself up, closing her legs as she did. Lucius’s eyes were still locked on the juncture of her legs.

Macrinus threw an ornate robe over his shoulders and straightened the fabric. Without even looking at them, he said, “There is a wash basin in the corner for you to clean up.” Lucius followed the gesture of Macrinus’s hand and spotted a clay bowl on a table in the corner. Macrinus suddenly turned his attention back to Lucius and took a few steps toward him. Lucius, uncertain of what would come next, moved to stand. But Macrinus put up a hand to stop him. Lucius was caught down on one knee before his master. It was a submissive position, no doubt intended to be emasculating. Macrinus smiled casually and said, “I am expected elsewhere, but you may stay here for the rest of the afternoon. Someone will collect you at sundown.”

Lucius’s brow furrowed. They were to be left alone together? 

“Help yourself to the wine and the fruit,” Macrinus continued. He turned toward the door but then, he had another thought and turned around again, “And Lucius,” he said with a harsher twist, “There better not be any trouble when I return.” 

Macrinus waited expectantly, staring Lucius down. Lucius nodded, hoping that would be enough to pacify him. It was not. 

“Well?” Macrinus demanded.

Lucius swallowed hard. He knew what was expected of him. But it was worse that Naevia should be a witness to it. He looked up at Macrinus with a blank face and said, “Yes, master.”

Macrinus nodded and without another word, he opened the door and left.

Lucius took a shuddering breath. He could scarcely believe any of what had just transpired had really happened. But most of all, he could not believe Macrinus had left them alone together. It felt… manipulative. Like Macrinus wanted them to form an attachment. He hesitantly glanced at Naevia and she was already looking at him. Her long hair wrapped around her like a veil, shielding the side of her face and her breasts from his view. She pulled her knees up to her chest, making herself as small as possible. Lucius’s eyes fell to the floor and his jaw tightened. He felt another wave of nausea pass through him and he swallowed back the bile. 

In a quiet voice, Naevia asked, “Are you alright?”

Lucius looked up and saw the genuine concern in her eyes. He nodded quickly and broke their eye contact. It was too much for him. He stood stiffly and walked to the wash basin, a wide bowl with a cloth hanging off the edge. He dipped the cloth into the cool water and rung it out. He thought about cleaning his cock, but he had already been filthy before, so it didn’t matter much. Instead, he brought the damp cloth to Naevia and handed it to her. She accepted the small offering and cleaned between her legs. Whipping away the evidence of their coupling. Lucius turned his head away. It was foolish to think of privacy in such a moment. He had been openly staring at her cunt a minute before. And he had been inside of her the minute before that. But it was what a decent man would do. What a better man than him would do. 

When she finished, Naevia stood. Lucius turned back to her and she met his eye. Only two paces separated them, but it felt like all the vastness of the empire lay between them. He was frozen. He couldn’t even breathe as she stared at him from under her long lashes. All he could think was that she might already be carrying his child. After a long moment of terrible waiting, Naevia reached for him. Lucius’s heart stuttered as she drew closer. With her free hand, she touched his chest, tracing over the bruises that painted his flesh. He let out a soft gasp as she touched a spot that was particularly tender. Her hand froze and she looked up at him with worry, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“It’s alright,” he cut her off. And with a half-smile, he added, “I am unharmed.” He still couldn’t believe that she wasn’t afraid of him. He recalled how she had cringed when he picked her up at the party. How she had recoiled from his touch. He had imagined she would react the same way this time, even though she had let him hold her for hours after the party. He fully expected her to hate him. But she didn’t. And he was unprepared. “Are you hurt?” he asked her as gently as he could.

“No,” she whispered as she shook her head softly. Her hand on his chest moved to his shoulder and brushed away some loose sand that still clung to him. 

“Forgive me,” Lucius told her, “He didn’t give me the opportunity to bathe before.”

Naevia gave him a soft smile and said, “It’s alright. There are worse things than a sweaty man.”

“Indeed,” Lucius murmured and returned her smile, though his was more of a grimace. With a heavy sigh, he continued, “What Macrinus said… about you bearing my…” His voice trailed off and his eyes fell. Another deep sigh left his body, and he looked to the heavens for guidance. The gods had no love for him. But somehow, he found the strength to look into Naevia’s eyes again and went on, “Macrinus would use a child to control me. To keep me in line. To ensure I would not rebel against him.” Naevia’s brow furrowed in worry. He wanted to reassure and tell her that he would protect her. But he knew that promise would be impossible for him to keep. “I do not wish for you to be entangled in this mess. If there is a way for you to…” He swallowed hard and prepared for the next words he was about to say. “If there is any way for you to stop it before it takes root…”

Naevia trembled slightly but she nodded. “I know of a way,” she admitted. “My former mistress, she would make me drink a tea. But…” She looked into Lucius’s eyes and he saw her fear, vivid and bright. Tears brewed in her eyes as she said, “I do not have any friends in this house. I don’t know anyone. And I’ve seen girls die because they didn’t brew it right! I don’t know-” She cut herself off as the tears came streaming down her face. 

Lucius wrapped both of his arms around her and pulled her close, tucking her head against his chest. She clung to him as she cried. Her trembling body seemed so small compared to his broad form. She was alone and frightened and it was his fault. Because he had been too emotional. Because he had lost control of himself. “Shh,” he tried to soothe her, knowing he was pathetically out of his depth. “It’s alright,” he cooed as he stroked a hand through her hair, “I won’t have you put yourself in danger.” Naevia sniffled again and nuzzled her cheek against him. She had calmed down, but he could still feel her fear as it pulsed through her. It mixed with his own and pooled deep within him. 

He was lost in his despair until he felt her fingers on his cheek, gently turning his face to hers. Her huge, brown eyes gazed up at him sorrowfully. Lucius wanted to reach into her and take away all the fear and misery she felt. He would take all of it if it meant she would be free. Tenderly, she brushed her fingers over his beard, feeling the coarse hairs shift under her touch. Then, she moved her hand to his brow and stroked the small bruises and cuts that marred his skin. He didn’t deserve her tenderness or her affection. He felt tears gathering in his own eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. What could he possibly say to her? What words could sooth his horrible deeds?

Naevia trailed her hand down his chest and took his hand. She led him across the room to the wash basin. She cleaned the cloth in the water and rung it out again. Lucius watched her the whole time, mesmerized by how calm she was. She turned to him and looked up at him expectantly. “Well,” she said, “I cannot reach you up there. So, you’ll have to kneel down.”

Lucius’s heart fluttered. “You mean to wash me?” he asked in disbelief.

Naevia nodded and a blush colored her cheeks. Lucius felt something strange and unnameable swell in his chest. He knelt down and held still while she bathed him with the cloth. She started with his brow, wiping away the sweat and grime that clung to him. She moved down his face and neck. The cool water caused goosebumps to form on his flesh. She knelt down with him and cleaned his shoulders and chest, only slowing as she reached his navel. She hesitated and looked up at him with an uncertain gaze. Lucius took her hand in his own. “It’s alright,” he said to her in a low voice, “I’ll finish the rest.”

Naevia nodded and allowed him to pull the wash cloth from her hand. She stood and retreated back toward the desk, where their clothes lay on the floor. Lucius washed his lower body quickly. The cloth was already filthy but he found a clean corner to scrub his cock with. He barely had the patience to wipe down his legs and feet. His hair was still unwashed but he would have to live with that. He turned back to Naevia and saw she had dressed. Her shy look from across the room sent an unexpected pang though his heart. They hadn’t chosen to be together. But she would be the mother of his child. And that bound them. That made her his responsibility. 

With a hurried pace, he walked back to where his britches lay and hastily pulled them back on. He wished that he had been given a shirt. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so exposed. Naevia looked as though she felt the same way. Her bare arms were pulled tight across her chest, holding herself. He could see her uncertainty. To a certain degree, it was endearing. But he hated that it was him that made her so uncertain. 

With a heavy sigh, he sat down on a bench. His hands gripped his knees and his knuckles turned white from strain. He had much to consider. In the months since his enslavement, he had allowed himself to become consumed by revenge. He could live with bearing his own punishments. But if Macrinus were to pass them on to Naevia and the child, he would never forgive himself. He did not know how to calculate a child into his plans. Much to his surprise, Naevia sat next to him. She sat close enough that their legs touched. After a moment of hesitation, she placed her hand over his, soothing him. He instantly relaxed into her touch. 

Lucius’s mouth went completely dry and he gulped down a heavy breath. “I don’t understand your goodness,” he confessed as he turned to her with awe in his eyes. “And I don’t deserve your tenderness.” 

Naevia shook her head. “No,” she murmured, “It is you who have been good to me.”

Lucius couldn’t help the scoff that fell from his lips. “I violated you. I forced myself on you. Twice now.”

“But you didn’t want to!” Naevia protested. “I could see it from the moment we first met eyes. You’re not like the others.” Lucius raised his hand to her face and stroked her cheek. Naevia leaned into his touch and let out a soft sigh, “Every other touch I have known,” she continued slowly, “was cruel and selfish. You are the only man who has ever… made me feel good.”

A swell of pride flushed in Lucius’s chest.  “My only solace in all this mess,” Lucius told her in a low voice, “Is that no other man will touch you now.”

Naevia opened her eyes and met his with a burning gaze. “I am glad for it,” she said with a smile. “You see? Why would I hate you when you have protected me?”

“I cannot protect you,” Lucius admitted sorrowfully. “I am but a slave. I will likely die in the arena before the child is born.”

Naevia took his hand in hers again and said, “Let us not think of such things.”

Lucius swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat and said, “I can think of nothing else.” Naevia’s face clouded with worry. But he continued before she could reply, “These past months, I have been driven only by revenge. For my wife and for my home. But now,” he let out a dark laugh, “I cannot continue down that road without endangering you.”

“Do not worry about me,” Naevia said gently, “I am not with child yet.”

“But you could be,” Lucius said with grave sincerity. 

Naevia blushed deeply but she did not respond. She didn’t have to. 

Silence settled between them. There was little they could say to each other without opening the floodgates of their emotions. Instead, they found a solace in touch. Naevia curled herself under Lucius’s arm and she rested her head against his shoulder. It was comforting to feel her weight against him. Lucius wrapped his arm around her and held her tightly. 

All too fast, the afternoon sun fell low in the sky. The door to the chamber opened and two of Macrinus’s guards stood outside. It was time. 

Lucius placed a kiss on Naevia’s brow. She clung to him as they stood and walked to the door. Only when they reached the guards, did they finally part. Naevia’s fingers lingered on his hand for a moment as they were taken in opposite directions down the hall. Lucius looked back over his shoulder and saw Naevia do the same. It wasn’t like the first time they parted ways; he knew he would see her again. 

AN: I intended this to be a quick follow up, I really did! I intended to post this before new years. But then... well, it just kept getting bigger and more elaborate. I have really loved exploring Lucius's psyche. He's such a fateful character.

As always, thank you all for reading!! If you enjoyed reading this, please comment or reblog. It really means the world to me! And my ask box is always open to anyone who wants to talk about Lucius or writing in general!! <3

[animemakesmeanxiouss]

TW: Cursing, negging, misogyny, sexually suggestive, maybe explicit?

"Are you really going to eat all that?" He asked, his face not really bothering to hide his disdain towards my meal.

I popped another french fry into my mouth and gave an exaggerated mmm before replying.

"Yeah, what did you think I mean when I said 'we should get some burgers and shakes'?"

"I just thought you were going to get, like, a salad."

This may be the worst date I've ever been on, but no way I'm going to let some guy ruin this delicious food.

"It's whatever, I guess," he continued, "So do you like heroes?"

Oh okay so he's making an effort to get to know me. Maybe he's not so bad.

"I love heroes! I think my favorites are probably Eraser," I said thoughtfully, "and Dynamight."

He hummed in response. Not a thoughtful hum, or an inquisitive one. One of those condescending hums. I sighed after finishing off my burger and washing it down with some vanilla milkshake.

"What now?"

"No, nothing."

I gave him a hard stare.

"I just think it's interesting that your favorite heroes are men. Aren't you like, a feminist?" He questioned.

I was stunned.

"Do you...do you think I'm going to fuck Dynamight?"

He shrugged and mumbled something I didn't quite catch, but quite frankly I was over it. I grabbed my food tray to toss the empty cartons and he dumped his onto it as well, without a single word of please, thank you, or asking to do the favor of throwing his trash out.

Once that was done, I excused myself to the restroom to freshen up and upon my return, saw there were two receipts at the table. One paid for, one not, so I went over to the register to pay for my meal. The girl ringing me up asked me if all was okay in the way only us girls could really communicate, and I gave a shrug.

"It's rough out here"

She nodded in agreement and wished me luck.

I turned around and he was waiting by the door, so I went to bid him farewell. Before I could reach him, he walked out the door and just as I was about to walk through, it nearly slammed in my face, making me jump.

Frustrated, I pushed through, ignoring him, and started walking to my car. It looked like there was a small crowd gathering half a block down from where I'd parked, so at least I wouldn't be completely alone in this rough part of town.

Soon enough, I heard footsteps behind me and it was him. Walking me to it was the least he could do after this poor excuse for a date, so at least there's that.

"We going to your place, or mine?"

Again, I was stunned. The noise behind me got louder but I was too focused on what this idiot was implying.

"Uhh, hello?," he started snapping his fingers in my face, "are we going to your place, or mine?" He asked again, slowly but loudly.

"Boy, what the hell are you talking about?" He looked behind me and then back at me about to say something, but I wasn't going to let this loser waste anymore of my time, "Do you really think after pulling that 'negging' bullshit on me, I'd still sleep with you? Why would anyone in their right mi-"

OOF! Something rammed into me and I heard an incredibly loud crashing sound and lost all thought for a moment.

I suddenly realized I was being carried in someone's arms, before being carefully set down by the idiot I was desperatly trying to get away from.

"Are you fucking stupid or something? Did you not hear everyone telling you to get your girlfriend out of the way? Or did you not see the giant fucking boulder about to crush her?"

None other than Dynamight was bitching at my date for leaving me in harm's way, right after he himself saved me.

There's no way this is really happening.

The moron stood there for a moment looking like he was going to cry, then tried to act cool.

"Oh, look, it's the dickhead hero from the news trying to be positive for a change."

Dynamight looked at him incredulously, and for a second, I thought his hands started to glow before he shook them off.

"Yeah, and I bet your bitch is my biggest fan."

Dumbass stood there looking like, well, a dumbass. What else could he say though?

"You're right!" I burst out laughing, "I told him your one of my favorite heroes just a minute ago"

This made Dynamight smile at me, while I pointed at the guy and corrected, "I'm not his bitch though. That was the worst date ever"

The hero raised an eyebrow before looking me up and down, before glancing over to the guy and tutting.

"You really fumbled her? Bigger idiot than I could've thought"

My cheeks turned red, but this gave me the encouragement I needed.

"Aw Dynamight, you're making me blush. Actually, I was wondering what time you're done patrolling so we could...go back to my place?" I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at him.

His smile was back, and he gave a quick glance over at the clocktower not too far from us before saying he was actually off now, just needed to finish helping arrest the criminals that were causing the commotion when he saved me.

"Whatever man! She's a fatass anyway!" The loser shouted at us.

The blonde reached his hand out to me. Confused, I took it, and he guided me into doing a couple of spins while his eyes ran up and down my body again before stopping, bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it.

"That ass is fantastic."

And that, friends, is how I ended up fucking Pro Hero Dynamight.

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Do not copy, repost, translate, plagiarize, and process in any way, shape, or form, including through AI.

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A/N: Got this idea from watching this video by fan0fthearts (yt/ig/tt). Many more to come because their art and concepts are amazing.

Also, I know this is terribly written but I needed to get it out of my head. Hopefully will rewrite/fix in the future

[writing-whenever-whatever]

We’ll be ok sweetheart- this can’t be real 

Eddie Munson x reader 

Part 1 

Summary: after Eddie brings back chrissy to the trailer the event end up traumatising you for life escaping the blame for her death you both run only to sucked into a bigger problem 

Warning : mdni, death , graphic imagery, use of y/n, pet names (sweet heart, darling), Eddie is referred to as sir, vomiting, comfort, drugs, violence, no smut in this part, not proof read

———————————————————————

It’s late in the evening when Eddie is busy with his final hell fire campaign and I’m sat at in the trailer, dressed comfortably in my pjs a blue raspberry lollipop pressed between my lips, waiting from him to come home. We’ve been dating for a few months now it’s been a hit since the start, it’s gotten to the point I’m already practically living with him and his uncle Wayne  as it’s known my home life isn’t the best. 

Im settled on the couch watching some late night horror film a blanket wrapped around me as I hear his van pull up blaring music, I get up a smile landing on my face as I open the door shocked to see Eddie getting out the car with him no other than my old best friend blond bimbo cheerleader Chrissy Cunningham ,our friendship fell apart the moment she started to date Jason, my face turns to a grimace as he walks to me “ sorry I’m late sweetheart “ he looks at me running his hand over my cheek “ had a client to pick up on the way back” he tilts his head towards chrissy. I nod still in slight shock as I move to let them in. Her voice bakes me out of this daze “ thank you ” she mutters perching on the edge of the couch watching me as I stare at her. the screams from the small tv speakers blaring as Eddie russels through the trailer in search for something “ can you turn it down “ she fidgets nervously her eyes never really meeting mine as I turn the tv off “ that better for you” i scoff rolling my eyes as she nods. 

“ what are you even here for aren’t you a bit to Prissy and perfect for this shit” I raise my eyebrow looking down at her taking in the fact she’s still dressed in her cheerleading uniform “ I-i” she stutters looking up at me “ we do not judge darling, remember that” Eddie yells from the other room “ yes sir” I sigh looking back at Chrissy a smug look on my face “  I’m sorry I didn’t want to intrude but Eddie said I could come get some stuff by the end of the day” she sniffles feeling intimidated “ of course he did” I look over my shoulder to see Eddie emptying out the contents of a cookie jar “ what are you even looking for Eds” I sigh looking back at him as he stands up straight  looking at me “ anything, I can’t find anything in this place” he groans impatient throwing the jar back down on the side making me giggle.

 I turn to chrissy giggling “ don’t be nervous, Eddie is a great supplier when he can find his shit ” he walks up behind me a grunt escaping him as he rests his head on my shoulder “ you haven’t taken  it all have you” his voice is low vibrating against my neck “ no sir “ I look back at him “ I haven’t smoked or snorted anything today” i kiss his cheek before I move away from him making him nearly fall forward his hair landing in front of his face as I move into his bedroom looking around for him “ just make yourself comfortable “ he notes to Chrissy as he notices her fidgety nature. 

I continue to look around eddie and Chrissy nattering in the back ground as I finally find a small bag of the stronger stuff “ found it” I call out to him holding it in my hand shaking it slightly a smirk on my face “ this the stuff for you princess “ I look down at Chrissy, my smirk drops noticing her eyes flickering like she’s having some sort of fit “ what’s wrong with her” I ask moving in front of her tap her cheek trying to snap her out of it as Eddie stares in horror “ I don’t know one second she was fine talking but then she went quiet” he looks at me as I check her pulse “ fuck” I mutter trying to lay her down into the recovery position 

“ Chrissy wake up “ Eddie says his voice becoming panicked as the lights start to flicker in the trailer I look around “ what the fuck “ I gasp as she starts to float upwards I fall back onto the floor hitting my head on the coffee table behind me making my brain fog over, as she flys up hitting the ceiling causing both me and Eddie to scream my hands shaking as I reach out for him as he falls backwards watching her bones snap and contort till she’s completely disfigured then she falls back to the floor her eyes bleeding, body completely lifeless causing me to let out a broken sob

“ I’m gonna be sick” I stutter rushing to the bathroom to puke tears streaming down my face when I pull myself together slightly I pick up the phone calling 911 “ hello 911 what’s your emergency “ the operator asks from the other side of the phone “ h-hello we need help at Forest Hill’s trailer park our friend had some sort of fit I think she’s dead” I gag against the words making vomit rise to my throat “ can you explain what happened “ they ask my hands shaking as fresh tears “ she started s-shaking her eye-eyes flickering then her bo-bones all broke and she’s bleeding from the eyes “ I sob more “ please just send help” eddies hand clutches my shoulder his face as pale as a ghost eyes filled with horror “ an ambulance is on the way you just need to stay calm “ they explain “ is anyone with you “ I look at Eddie “ my boyfriend Eddie Munson we tried to help her, but we don’t know what the hell happened one sec she was fine the next she’s dead“ I pass the phone to Eddie running back to the bathroom to throw up again. 

Hours pass and an ambulance arrives the paramedics are shocked by the situation staring at Chrissy’s body on the floor as I clutch onto Eddie to keep my balance we explained what happened to Chrissy ,leaving out the fact she levitated to make it sound less like a bunch of doped up junkies gone wrong, my hands shake as I talk to the paramedics seeing them bring out the body in a body bag my face turning paler than before “ can we stop talking about this now it’s messing her up” Eddie says looking at the paramedics “ of course but we may inform you that police may be in contact “ I shake my head tears dripping down my face as I rest my head into Eddies chest his arms wrap around me holding me his hair tickling my face as cry into him. 

As the ambulance drives away I sob into Eddie as he holds me close we get into the van not wanting to go back into the trailer after what just happened “ they’re gonna find away to blame us” Eddie mutters to me under his breath thinking to himself in the rear view mirror his face twisting with emotion as he tries to burry it deep inside of him.  I rest my hand on his gently “ where are we gonna go” I look at him my eyes red from crying “ into hiding, where no one will find us” I nod sniffling as he places his hand on my cheek “ hey, we’ll be ok sweetheart. go in grab some stuff then we’ll go” I instantly get up rushing back into the trailer getting some clothes drugs and food anything we deem essential but the least amount of stuff to make it the least noticeable. As I go back into the living room I stare at chrissy’s blood on the carpet my hands shaking as the events happen again and again I’m quickly brought out of it by Eddie grabbing my shoulder making me jump “ you ready to go” he asks quickly he sound slightly out of breath as I nod. 

I get into the car as Eddie starts the engine the music jittering to a start as he starts moving as we turn towards the exit I see max mayfield one of his neighbours staring at us through the window I give her a brief timid wave as we leave the trailer park not knowing when or if we’ll ever come back. 

———————————————————————

We’ve been driving for hours the sun is rising as we pull up in a sheltered woodland area the car barely visible to the road side “ where are we” I look at him my eyes hooded with exhaustion “ we’re gonna have to walk a little while “ he rests his hand on my thigh “ can you do that for me sweetheart “ his eyes full of nerves as I nod opening the car door picking up our bags of stuff, I step out my legs wobbling slightly as we begin to walk. Eddie keeps me close to him as we walk towards a boat house in silence listening to any signs of trouble “ this is ricks house you remember him don’t you sweetheart “ I nod looking up at him “ this is where we’ll stay for now” he fumbles in his pockets looking for something when he pulls out a key “ found it” he smiles slightly bring me a sense of relief as he focuses on opening the door. 

As the door opens the smell of old weed and musk wafts over us as we walk in “ home sweet home” he sighs as I instantly rush round the house closing all the curtains “ Eds are you sure it’s a good idea us staying here” I put our stuff down slumping down on the couch “ this is the safest place for now “ he rests his hand on my cheek “ no matter what we stick together “ he pulls me into his lap cuddling me close “ I don’t know what the hell we saw back their but all I know is that’s it’s not good news” I nod as he runs his hand through my long hair “ Chrissy didn’t deserve that” I mumble burying myself into his lap “ i know “ he strokes my head more “ you should rest” he looks at me taking the bag grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills taking one out putting it into my mouth “ swallow “ I nod following his order doing as I’m told snuggling more into his lap letting the drowsiness take over I lay in his arms his gentle hand running up and down my back till I’m asleep.

———————————————————————

When I wake up Eddie is sat with the radio on listening to the broadcast announcing Chrissy’s death under strange circumstances and that further investigation is to happen, sit up rubbing my eyes feeling groggy as Eddie looks at me “ good you’re awake” he sighs a slight relieved look coming over me “ what’s going on” my voice is deep with sleep as Eddie moves next to me “ they’re looking more into her death, they’re looking for us” I sigh looking at him “ but we didn’t do anything “ I tear up slightly taking a deep breath “ i know “ he looks at me “ you need to calm down “ I make eye contact with him standing up abruptly “ calm down, calm down!? How the hell can I calm down I saw a girl levitate and die last night Eddie” I snap pacing the room “ so did I y/n you’re not the only one who saw it” he stands up grabbing my hand pulling me to a halt as we hear muffled voices from outside startling up we quickly move to the boat house. 

Eddie pulls me with him holding up the tarp across the boat, “ get in” he whispers his voice hushed as I climb in my breath shaking he quickly climbs in behind me cuddling me, holding me as close to him as possible I can feel his breath on my neck causing goose bumps to form as I look back at him holding his hand gently in mine as the voices get closer “ stay close, still and quiet “ he whispers in my ear his voice barely audible as the door to the boat house opens I close my eyes shut holding my breath as foot steps get closer. 

The voices get louder “ hello is any one home” they get closer “ what a dump” mote noises happen there are so many people both female and male as they shuffle around the boat house I can’t help but notice eddies hand move to my back pocket where I keep my switch blade suddenly the tarp starts getting jabbed at by something hitting all around us causing me to panic more. 

“ what are you doing “ one of them ask his voice rushed “ they might be in here” the other response still jabbing at did tarp they start arguing back and forth interrupted by the female “ hey look over here” she says her voice oddly familiar also “ some one was here” they say sounding certain looking through the trash scattered along the side “ maybe they ran” another suggests “ don’t worry Steve will get them with his ore” the male jokes suddenly eddie glances at me counting to three on his fingers then gestures to get up I nod watching as he counts down finally hitting one as we both jump up Eddie attacking the man with the ore holding my blade to his throat as I stand there holding a lit lighter and a bottle spray paint that was left in the bottom of the boat pointing it at the first person I see. 

Both of us appearing on edge and aggressive our actions shaky and unplanned as the voice of Dustin Henderson breaks through to Eddie “ Eddie stop it’s me Dustin” he shouts voice shocked “ Eddie it’s me this is Steve he’s not gonna hurt you” he insists stepping slowly towards Eddie as I point the lighter towards him “ y/n” max steps towards me her voice calming as I look at her my eyes frantic as my hands shake “ everything is gonna be ok just drop the lighter “ she steps towards me taking to out of my hand. 

I fall to the floor in tears Eddie instantly puts the knife down rushing to my side holding me into his arms “ what are you doing here” he asks his voice shaky “ to help you” Dustin answers looking directly at us “ you know us, that’s robin from band and my friend Max she’s always refusing to play d n d “ he adds “ who’s that” Dustin gestures towards me “ y/n” Eddie stutters keeping a tight hold on me as my body trembles “ my girlfriend “ Dustin nods coming down to my level “ we’re on your side, there’s no need to worry” 

I stand back up not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes as“ you bastards really shook me up not that fucking needed to be any more shook up” I start ranting talking really fast starting to pace “ y/n sweetheart “ Eddie looks at me I pause looking at him with watery eyes “ breathe” I take a deep breath hesitating for a second “ fuck i need a smoke” I search my pockets for the stash I usually keep on me but finding my search unsuccessful 

“ fuck” I grumble looking towards Eddie to ask him but as he’s busy talking to Dustin I  don’t wanting to interrupt them, I go into my inside pocket finding my lollipop from the other day wrapped up and placed in there I resort to sucking on that trying to sooth my nerves, watching as everyone turns to look at me “ what” I look confused turning to them then back to Eddie “ they want to hear what happened “ his voice sounds gruff as I move back to him sitting down against the wall “ you won’t believe us” my voice quivers slightly as I look at them pulling the lolly from my lips and passing it to Eddie who gladly takes it into his mouth “ try us” max response causing me to feel slightly confused. 

“ one minute she was fine, the next she wasn’t, I was helping Eddie look for some special k cause he couldn’t find it, when I came back in the room she was having some sort of fit. her e-eyes were flickering, body twitching. i-I tried to help her by putting her in the recovery position. B-but that’s when she started levitating her b-bones brea-breaking and sn-snapping “ I gulp for a second trying to compose myself as bile rises up my throat “ that’s when she hit the ceiling her eyes looked like they were being sucked out her head or something blood dripping everywhere ” Eddie adds resting his hand on my thigh grounding both of us as tears fall down my cheeks “ she didn’t deserve it, what ever the fuck it was yeah she was a bitch for dating that prick and ditching me as a friend but no one deserves that” I look down zoning out slightly not anything but  Eddie hushing me as I close my eyes the images repeating over and over in my head “ we really tried to wake her man” Eddie looks at Dustin “ it’s like she could move it’s like she was in a trance or something “ I nod agreeing with him taking my lolly back from him and sucking on it again “ under a spell “ Dustin looks a realisation coming to both him and Eddie “ a curse” 

“ vecna’s curse” Dustin says eying up Eddie with a shocked expression on his face 

I get back up walking back towards the house “ where are you going “ Steve asks me looking over his shoulder his voice stern but understanding as I push past him. “ this can’t be real” I mumble looking at them my face paler than usual “ how am I expected to believe in all these monsters and curses, like what the actual fuck is going on” i look at Eddie as he sighs “ be open minded, think of what we saw last night” he insists looking at me as I shake my head “ no I don’t want to, I can’t Eds” he walks towards me and rests his hand on my shoulder “ it’s hard to believe I know “ Dustin looks at me with sympathy walking towards me, his expression as if I’m a confused child his voice melting like butter “ but it’s true” he takes his time to explain everything to both me and Eddie trying to keep things simple dumbing everything down. 

After hearing everything I’m sat on the floor again resting my head on my knees “ so what can we do” my voice sounding like a faint whisper as it comes out  I hear Steve turn away talking to Robin “ poor girl must feel like she’s taken a bad batch of something with all this strange shit going on” she nods giggling slightly my head snapping towards them “ I’m more than just a junky asshole” I snap at them my eyes holding coldness “ i actually want to help people I wanted to help Chrissy” they look down at me as Eddie nods “ I know baby and you will” he rests his hand on my knees gently stroking up and down my leg.

Steve turns to us his “ listen you two need to stay low for now the police are looking for you they think Chrissy’s death was suspicious “ i nod “ ok what should we do “ i look up at him my hair messily moving into my face “ stay here keep in touch with us and if anything happens let us know “ Dustin insists passing a walkie talkie to Eddie before turning to the door “ we’ll get you supplies and what ever you need just stay safe both of you” i look at him watching as he walks out, leaving me and Eddie alone together for the rest of the night. 

[fuck-customers]

head in hands. I had a DAY yesterday.

I was talking to a customer and taking their order- I work drivethrough, so I'm multitasking at least 3 things, up to five/six if I have to- and I finished up a payment from someone else waiting in my window.

I had her card on one of my trays, but the customer who's order I was taking was being really confusing with how he was talking and it was extremely frustrating for Many Reasons (I didn't eat much besides two pretzels, I was taking orders back to back to back and it had been super busy all day, I had been up since 5-).

Either way, he kept calling our chili cheese foot long a regular hot dog, and he'd already ordered one earlier, so I was like. Well if he wanted TWO, WHY DIDN'T HE SAY SO??? AT THE BEGINNING?

I was talking with my coworkers about it and my manager was like "I think he meant by itself and not a combo..." so I fixed his order. I turn around and this woman- the lady who's card and food and otherwise I still had- grabs the bag, and she's like "do you have my card" in this ugly sort of condescending voice. This begins ringing warning bells pretty loudly in my head. I give it to her, and she's like do you guys have names? (not to you!!) you guys should REALLY be WORKING instead of FUCKING AROUND and CHATTING. WORST SERVICE I'VE EVER HAD. Usually when a customer gets started, i slam my window in their face and let them go off and do other shit because im busy, but i haven't had a customer swear at me like that and it made me SO mad i was like four seconds from saying "I WAS BUSY WITH OTHER THINGS!!" anyways. That's my fourth customer who's been rude to me since I started working (earlier april) and the worst by far.

Posted by admin Rodney

[katethetank]

Rating: 18+, minors gtfo Chapter Summary: Eddie meets the family! CW: None? Tell me if I missed anything Tags: Alternate Universe - modern setting, Rock Star Eddie, Counselor Steve, Eddie is gay, Steve is bi, slow burn, eventual smut Word Count:3,308

Chapter 9<<Masterlist>>Chapter 11

Mama Steve: Hey dickheads, does The Dungeon close at 5 on Sunday?

Dustybuns: It always has asshole

Mama Steve: Watch your mouth kid!

Mama Steve: Stick around after close

Mike Fucking Wheeler: You’re not the boss of us

Mad Max: Listen to your mother Michael

🧙Will the Wise🧙: What’s going on Steve?

🏀Lucas🏀: You’ve been MIA man, you alright?

Dustybuns: So you blow us off for weeks and now you’re making demands? Some mom you are 

😇El😇: We’ve missed you Steve!

Mike Fucking Wheeler: We have?

Mama Steve: Thought you assholes might wanna meet my boyfriend, but forget it

Dustybuns: YOIR WHAT

🏀Lucas🏀: I need you to be so serious right now

😇El😇: Steve I’m so happy for you!

Mad Max: Holy shit, you actually locked that down?

Dustybuns: STEVE!! 

🧙Will the Wise🧙: whaaaaaaaaaaattttt

Dustybuns: WHAT US HAPPENITN

Mad Max: I think you broke Dustin

🏀Lucas🏀: Omg are you bringing him to the shop?!

Dustybuns: STEVENNN ABSWRS NOW

🧙Will the Wise🧙: Yeah Dustin is malfunctioning

😇El😇: Do we really get to meet him?

Mad Max: This is hilarious omfg

Dustybuns: STOP IFNORING US!

Mama Steve: Are you assholes gonna behave?

Mad Max: No

😇El😇: Yes!

🧙Will the Wise🧙: The odds are not in your favor 

🏀Lucas🏀: You better not be fucking with us

Dustybuns: [voice message] Steven Angela Harrington I swear to fucking Christ if you’re fucking with us I’m gonna be so pissed! Tell us NOW what the fuck is going on!

Mama Steve: Sunday after the shop closes I’m bringing Eddie to meet you guys 

Mama Steve: I’m gonna regret this aren’t I?

Dustybuns: [voice message] Did I ever tell you you’re my favorite brother?

Mama Steve: You’re an only child

Dustybuns: How dare you

🏀Lucas🏀: We’ll be there!

😇El😇: I can’t wait!

🧙Will the Wise🧙: This is gonna be great

Mad Max: This is gonna be a disaster

Mike Fucking Wheeler: I’ll believe it when I see it 

“Oh my god this is total chaos. I love them already.” Eddie is reading the texts over his shoulder as they blow up his phone. These kids will be the death of him.

“I’m totally coming, I have got to witness this.”

Steve grabs a fry off of Eddie’s plate and throws it at Robin. He told her immediately that he and Eddie had made it official (ok not immediately, there may have been another handjob before he texted her) and she insisted on meeting them at Wayne’s on Steve’s lunch break so she could congratulate/grill them in person.

“Don’t get grouchy with me Dingus, you’re gonna need all the support you can get. Both of you!” She pointedly looks at Eddie.

He points to himself, “Me? Why me?”

Robin straightens up in her seat explaining, “These kids can be great, but they can also be total assholes. And it might look like they just give Steve shit all the time, but they’re fiercely protective of him. He’s seen them all through different rough patches of their lives and he’s been there for them in ways that nobody else has. They might be fans of yours, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to worship you. You bagged their mom, Eddie! You’re going to need someone in your corner to vouch for you.”

Steve turns and takes in Eddie’s profile. He looks nervous. “Robin, stop scaring my boyfriend!”

That actually gets a smile out of him and a kiss on the cheek. “God, I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of hearing you say that word sweetheart.” 

“Good, cuz I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of saying it,” Steve replies.

“Ugh gross, you two are disgustingly cute.”

“Thank you,” Steve says and flips her off.

Eddie turns his attention back to Robin. “So Rob, you’d  have my back with these hellions? Have I proven myself worthy of Steve’s hand?” Under the table he laces their fingers together. Steve gives him a squeeze.

“Oh my god you are such a dork. You might actually fit right in. But yes, you have. I can see how happy you make Steve, and you’re obviously obsessed with him. You've shown that you’re committed to this, you’ve been respectful of his boundaries, Wayne doesn’t seem to think you’re a dick. Just keep making him happy and we won’t have a problem.”

“Nope, just the same old pain in my ass he’s always been.” Jesus, Steve didn’t even notice Wayne approaching the table. He’s gonna need bells for both of the Munson men. “Good kid though, you don’t got nothin’ worry about darlin’. He’s been all moon eyed over his boy here since day one, won’t shut up about him.”

“Wayne, what the hell!”

“Don’t deny it son, you’re a shit liar. Steve,” he says looking down at him, “he ever do you wrong, you come to me, understood?”

Steve has to hold back his glee at Wayne’s protectiveness. “Yes sir, you got it.”

“None of that ‘sir’ shit, you’re practically family now. And ya ain’t paying either! You and Birdie here both.”

Robin looks ecstatic, but Steve feels a pit in his gut. “Wayne, I can’t do tha-“

“Shush! I ain’t gonna fight you on this! Just watch some Sunday games with me when you can and we’ll call it even. Ed here ain’t got no interest and just complains the whole time.”

Steve laughs at that, it sounds absolutely accurate. “You got it Wayne.” Wayne pats his shoulder and heads back to the kitchen.

“Christ, I think he likes you more than he likes me,” Eddie grumbles.

“What can I say? I’m like the son he never had!” Steve beams.

Eddie gasps, dramatically offended. “Rude! That’s rude Steven! Just for that, I’m going to steal all of your children’s favoritism.”

Like they share a brain, Steve and Robin tell him, “Good luck!”

Sunday rolls around faster than Steve anticipated. He won’t say he’s nervous exactly, more anxious of how the kids are going to act around Eddie. He just hopes they aren’t total buttheads. He pulls up to Wayne’s house and Eddie is sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette. He doesn’t smoke often, and Steve has a feeling Eddie is more nervous about this than he thought.

He gets out of the car and walks up to the porch, offering Eddie a reassuring smile. “Hey baby. You ok?”

Eddie nods his head and puts out the cigarette in an old coffee can. “Yeah I think so. Sorry, just a little anxious about this. Didn’t wanna smell like an ashtray, but I needed something to level me out a bit.”

Steve shakes his head. “No, it’s ok, I don’t mind. You ready to go?” Eddie nods again, looking anything but ready. “Kiss first?” Steve asks.

That gets a smile out of him. “You don’t mind smokey kisses, sweetheart?”

“No. Not from you. C’mere.”

Eddie steps off the porch and puts his hands on Steve’s hips. It always makes him feel small. He cups Eddie’s face and smiles into the kiss. He can already feel him relaxing.

“Mmm, I think I needed that more than the cigarette. Ok, now I’m ready.”

They climb into the car and Steve pairs Eddie’s phone, offering him DJ privileges this time. Driving guitars pump through the speakers as they make their way out of the neighborhood. Eddie turns the volume down after a couple minutes and turns to Steve. “I don’t know how to ask this without sounding like a dick, so I’m just gonna ask. How does a counselor at a community center afford a BMW? God, there’s no polite way to ask that, is there? I’m sorry, never mind, forget I said anything!”

“It’s ok Eds! You’re not a dick. I definitely don’t make a fortune working there, but it’s whatever. You know how I said I was a trust fund kid? Yeah. I had a trust fund. My grandparents set it up when I was little, and even though my parents basically disowned me, they couldn’t touch it. I got access to it when I was 25 and got myself a car. The rest was better spent.”

Ah fuck. He realizes he just opened a can of worms. He hasn’t told Eddie about this yet because to him it doesn’t really matter. But people are weird about money.

“Yeah, you treat yourself to a trip around Europe or something?” He laughs. Steve pauses for a moment and Eddie makes a questioning face.

“No. I uh…I gave it to the kids so they could open The Dungeon.”

Eddie just blinks at him for a minute.

“Stevie. Are you serious?”

“I know! I know it was probably stupid, but they had this dream and didn’t know how they were gonna get it started, and I didn't really have much use for all that money, plus the guilt I had even taking it meant I couldn’t even really enjoy it, so I figured that was the best thing I could do with it.”

“Pull over.”

Steve glances over at Eddie, bewildered. “What?!”

“I said pull over.”

Steve pulls the car to the side of the road and the second he has it in park, Eddie is on him. He’s so surprised that he doesn’t even kiss him back for a second. Steve pulls back to ask, “What is happening right now?”

“Steven Rebecca Harrington-“

“Not you too!”

“-You are the most selfless,” he gets a kiss to his cheek, “caring,” his forehead, “generous,” his nose, “man I have ever met!” Eddie plants a firm and passion kiss to his lips.

Eddie breaks the kiss and holds Steve’s face in his hands. “You gave all that up so you could help the people you love. You’re incredible, sweetheart, do you know that? You need to know that. Those kids better fucking know that! I am completely, unbelievably in awe of you. How the fuck did I get lucky enough to call you mine?”

Steve never thought he’d be crying on the side of the road in the arms of a rock star, but here he is. Eddie embracing him while tears slip down his cheeks. “I’m the lucky one,” he whispers. It’s true. He’s never felt so appreciated or adored or seen. 

They take a few minutes for Steve to calm down and then they’re back on their way to The Dungeon. They park and get out, and Steve takes Eddie’s hand in his, giving it a squeeze. “You ready for this?”

“Nope! C’mon, let’s get in there!”

Steve guides him through the front door and he’s struck with the memory of their first meeting. The last time they were in here together they were strangers. Now Eddie’s his boyfriend. Who’s about to meet…oh fuck, the whole family! Not only are the kids and Robin here, with eager looks on their faces, but Hop and Joyce are here too.

“Uh. Hey everybody. This is Eddie!”

The silence lasts about 1.8 seconds.

“Jesus it’s about fucking time!”

“Finally!”

“He’s taller than I thought.”

“This is crazy.”

“Oh he’s handsome!”

“Looks like trouble.”

“Hi Eddie!”

“Are you our new dad?”

They all rush towards them, Dustin leading the charge, sticking his hand out to Eddie and introducing himself, “Dustin Henderson, Steve’s honorary brother!” It’s the most aggressive handshake Steve’s ever seen. 

Max stands back with a smirk and her arms crossed. El gives Eddie a hug because she’s a fucking angel. Lucas shakes his hand like an actual human. Will gives him a shy finger wave. Mike is standing nearby, scowling at Steve. 

Steve looks at him and asks, “You believe me now, asshole?”

Mike steps closer and asks, way too loudly, “Have you been crying?” Steve wants to smack him. Then Mike turns to Eddie with fire in his eyes like he’s never seen. “What did you do?!”

Eddie looks like he’s ready to flee. “N-nothing! I swear! Stevie?!”

Steve’s flabbers are gasted, he’s never seen Mike get so definitive like this. At least not towards him. “Mike, I’m fine!” He doesn’t look like he believes it. “Seriously, I’m ok. Just had a moment before we got here. Eddie didn’t do anything, I swear.”

Mike shrinks back only slightly and mutters, “He better not have.” What the fuck got into this kid?! 

Joyce shoves them all aside and heads right for Steve, throwing her arms around his waist. He hugs her back and it’s just one of those things that makes his heart smile. “Steve sweetie, it’s been too long! I can’t believe I had to hear about your new beau from the kids!”

Steve gives her a squeeze before letting go. “Sorry mom. I’m glad you guys are here though. Missed you.”

“We missed you too, baby. Now! Introduce us properly to your boy here!”

Steve smiles at Eddie, who already has a fond look on his face as he’s taken in their interaction. “Eddie, this is my mom Joyce. Well, not actual mom, but you know.”

Eddie takes her hand, kissing the back of it like some Disney prince. “It’s a pleasure to meet you ma’am. Steve has spoken very highly of you!”

Steve doesn’t think he’s ever seen Joyce blush. He's definitely seen that look of annoyance on Hop’s face though. “Oh, honey, you don’t have to be so formal. Just Joyce is fine.” She looks back and Steve and mouths so handsome! Steve just wiggles his eyebrows back.

Hop steps in and grabs Eddie’s hand with one of those bear paws of his. “Jim. You can call me Chief Hopper.”

“Dad, Jesus,” Steve sighs.

“Hop, enough!” Joyce looks up at Eddie with her can you believe this? face. “He’s harmless, ignore him.”

Hop still hasn’t let go of Eddie’s hand. Eddie looks mildly terrified. ”It’s nice to finally meet you sir. I’m glad to know that Steve has had someone like you in his corner.”

Well fuck. He’s never seen Hop fold so quickly. He’s actually got a ghost of a smile on his face. Hop relents, letting go of Eddie’s hand and taking a step back. Why is this such a turn on?! Eddie turns to look at him and immediately clocks the desire that must be apparent on Steve’s face. He leans and whispers directly in his ear, “Save it for later baby.” Yeah that’s not helping.

They finally sit down at one of the big wood tables where Robin has been observing the entire interaction with glee. Dustin plants himself on Eddie’s other side, no doubt ready to grill him about something nerdy. The rest of the kids are scattered around the space, and Will comes up to ask, “Did you guys want a coffee? We still have everything up and running.”

Eddie smiles and tells him, “That would be great actually! Thanks…Will, right?” Will nods eagerly. “Just a coffee with cream and sugar would be awesome. Thanks man.” 

Will turns to Steve. “You want your drink, Steve?”

“Yeah, thanks bud.” Will nods and heads behind the counter to get started.

Eddie quirks an eyebrow. “Your drink?”

“Yeah,” Steve replies. “The Paladin? They made a drink for me. It’s a vanilla latte with like, caramel and shit. You should try it!”

Eddie just stares for a moment. “And it’s called The Paladin?”

What is Steve missing here? “Uh…yeah? Something from their nerd game or whatever. I never got into it.”

Eddie shakes his head and says under his breath, “Of course it is.” He turns completely to fully face Steve. “Sweetheart, do you know what a Paladin is?”

Steve furrows his brows. “It’s like a fighter guy or something, right?”

Eddie scoffs. “A fighter guy. It’s more than that honey. Paladins are holy knights that are sworn to fight evil and uphold justice. Divine spellcasters who train in combat, and wield the power to heal and protect. They’re self-sufficient, and they serve as defenders of the party. So no, it’s not just a fighter Steve. It’s a position of honor.”

Steve can’t swallow the lump in his throat. He looks away from Eddie to try and ground himself again, but that’s when he notices everyone has gone quiet. As he takes in the faces around him, his found family, his people…he sees it for the first time. How much they love him, how they see him. Their champion, their protector, their knight. 

He never thought he’d be crying in a coffee shop with his family and his boyfriend around him. But here he is. Robin grabs his hand from across the table. Eddie’s hand wraps around the back of his neck as he kisses his forehead. Mike gives him the softest look he's ever seen. Lucas rubs his back and Will sets down their drinks with a smile and a handful of extra napkins. Dustin, speaking in a much more subdued voice says, “We thought you knew, Steve.”

He dabs his eye with a napkin and laughs through a sob. “Clearly I didn’t! Fuck! I uh…I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t have to say anything, baby.” Eddie whispers to him. “Just have to accept it.”

Careless of his family around him, Steve leans in and kisses his boyfriend, hoping it can communicate all of his appreciation. The room erupts in cheers and complaints.

“Aww, they’re so sweet!”

“Sweet my ass”

“Ew, get a room!”

“Ugh, that’s my mom!”

“Get it Steve!”

Eddie caresses his cheek and asks, “You ok Stevie?”

“Yeah,” Steve says. “Very ok.”

The rest of the night goes smoothly without any more emotional breakdowns thank god. Dustin talks Eddie’s ear off about D&D - Steve, did you know Eddie used to run a D&D club in high school? It was called Hellfire right?! We do campaigns here once a month Eddie, you should come! Will is our DM but if you want you could do it sometime! He loves the kid, but yikes.

If Eddie hadn’t already won everyone over with his charm, he’s definitely doing it with food. As the night goes on, he suggests having pizza delivered. Steve tries to offer to pay for it, but Eddie isn’t having it. “Sweetheart, no. Let me do this. You take care of them all the time, let me have a turn.”

Everyone gets stuffed with pizza, breadsticks, and somehow Eddie gets cupcakes delivered. He even promises Dustin that he’ll DM for them the next time they play. As they’re saying goodbyes Mike pulls Steve aside. “Look, I know I can be asshole sometimes-“

“Sometimes?!”

“Ok, a lot! But you’ve always been there for us. You've looked out for us for years, helped us get all this off the ground. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. So. I just wanna make sure you’re…happy or whatever.”

Steve didn’t have Mike warming his heart on his bingo card. “Thanks for that, kid. And I am. Eddie’s amazing. I haven’t been this happy in a long time. Maybe ever!”

Mike nods and avoids eye contact. “Good! Good, I’m glad. I wanna like him. He seems cool. If he hurts you though, just wanna let you know, I’ve got your back.”

Steve chuckles, “Don’t think we’ll have to worry about that, but thanks man. I appreciate it.” They share a quick bro hug, complete with back slaps and Mike scurries away to be closer to El.

Robin steps up to his side and throws her arm around his shoulders. “Damn, Dingus. I didn’t think it would go this well! Your man’s little speech about how amazing you are sure won everyone over quickly. Didn’t see that happening.”

Steve wraps his arm around his best friend and smiles as he watches Eddie say goodbyes to everyone. Hugging Joyce and the girls (and Dustin), exchanging a much more amicable handshake with Hop, excitedly making plans to play the nerd game with the boys. 

“Yeah. Yeah, he did great.”

Chapter 9<<Masterlist>>Chapter 11

*********************************************

Taglist is open!

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[kathlare]

lingering questions

Lando Norris x Amelie Dayman

Summary: In the charged atmosphere of media day at the Azerbaijan Grand Prix, Lando finds himself drawn into an unexpected conversation with Checo.

Wordcount: 1.2 k

Warnings: just fluff

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April 27th, 2023 - Baku, Azerbaijan

The media day at the Azerbaijan Grand Prix had been a typical mix of awkward questions, forced smiles, and the relentless buzz of cameras. Lando Norris had managed to navigate the press conference alongside Checo Pérez, Esteban Ocon, Kevin Magnussen, and Yuki Tsunoda without saying anything too incriminating—a small victory in the circus that was Formula 1.

As the drivers dispersed, Checo lingered behind, chatting with a journalist he knew. Lando, feeling a pull he couldn’t quite ignore, slowed his steps. He glanced back at Checo, debating whether to say anything. The Red Bull driver caught his eye and nodded a silent acknowledgment.

Lando hesitated but eventually waited. He wasn’t even sure what he was doing. He and Checo weren’t friends, not by a long shot. Their relationship was professional at best, tense at worst. For nearly a year after Lando and Amelie had split, Checo had barely looked at him, let alone spoken to him, except when forced to during media obligations. But lately, things had softened—just enough for Lando to feel like he could ask questions without getting his head bitten off.

When Checo finally wrapped up his conversation, he turned to Lando with a raised eyebrow. —Something on your mind, Norris?—

Lando shoved his hands into his pockets, shrugging in what he hoped looked like nonchalance. —Just thought I’d say hi. We don’t really... talk much.—

Checo’s expression didn’t shift, but his eyes narrowed slightly. —We’re talking now. What do you want?—

Lando shifted on his feet, pretending to be more interested in a nearby stack of media equipment than the conversation. —How’s the family? How’s Stella? The kids?—

Checo folded his arms, his sharp gaze making it clear he wasn’t buying the casual act. —They’re good. Busy as always. You know how it is.—

Lando nodded, his eyes darting around the room. —Yeah, yeah. That’s good to hear. Must be tough, though, balancing it all with the races and everything.—

Checo tilted his head, his suspicion growing. —It is. But we manage. What’s this about, Lando? You’ve never been one to make small talk with me.—

Lando bit the inside of his cheek, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. He hated how transparent he probably looked, but he couldn’t help it. Checo wasn’t wrong—this wasn’t normal for them. But he couldn’t shake the nagging in his chest, the desperate need to know.

—No, I just...— He hesitated, then pushed forward, his voice overly casual. —I guess I was just wondering. You know... with Amelie being so busy and all. You guys still talk a lot? I mean, with her traveling and stuff.—

Checo’s expression hardened instantly, his arms dropping to his sides as he stepped closer. —Cut the bullshit, Norris. If you want to know about Amelie, just fucking say it.—

Lando flinched slightly at the bluntness, but he supposed he deserved it. He sighed, finally meeting Checo’s eyes. —Fine. How’s she doing? Is she... okay?—

Checo studied him for a long moment, his jaw tight. Lando could almost see the gears turning in his head, the internal debate about how much to say—or whether to say anything at all. Finally, Checo exhaled, his tone measured but firm.

—She’s fine. Busy, like you said. Touring, working non-stop, being the star she always wanted to be.— His eyes narrowed. —Why do you care? You made it clear you weren’t going to fight for her when it mattered.—

Lando winced, the words cutting deeper than he expected. —I know I fucked up, alright? I don’t need you to remind me.—

—Then why are you asking?— Checo pressed, his voice sharpening. —What do you think you’re going to do with this information? She’s moved on, Lando. She’s with Rodrigo, it’s not your place anymore. You made sure of that.—

Lando clenched his fists, the frustration bubbling beneath his skin. —You think I don’t know that? You think I don’t regret every fucking second of it?— His voice cracked slightly, and he looked away, trying to collect himself. —I just... I still care about her, okay? I can’t just turn that off.—

Checo’s expression softened slightly, but his tone remained firm. —Caring about her doesn’t mean you get to insert yourself into her life whenever it suits you. She’s not a distraction, Lando. She’s not some prize you can win back because you suddenly feel like you made a mistake.—

—It’s not like that,— Lando argued, his voice quiet but insistent. —I know I don’t deserve her. I know I don’t have the right to ask for anything. I just... I don’t know. I thought maybe... maybe if I knew she was happy, it’d make it easier to let go.—

Checo sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. For a moment, he looked almost tired, as if the weight of the conversation was as heavy for him as it was for Lando. —She’s happy when she’s doing what she loves. You know that. She always has been. But I’m not going to sit here and tell you everything’s perfect, because it’s not my place. If you want to know how she’s really doing, maybe you should have thought about that before you let her go.—

Lando nodded slowly, his shoulders slumping. —You’re right. You’re right. I just... I miss her, man. I miss her so much it hurts.—

Checo’s expression softened just a fraction, and he placed a hand on Lando’s shoulder. —Then do her a favor and don’t make it harder for her. If you really care about her, let her figure things out on her own. Don’t be another complication in her life.—

Lando swallowed hard, nodding again. —Yeah. Okay.—

Checo gave him a small pat on the shoulder before stepping back. —Look, I don’t hate you, Lando. I never did. I was pissed because I saw how much she loved you, and I saw what losing you did to her. But if you’re really trying to be better, then prove it. And maybe one day, things will be different. But for now... give her space.—

Lando watched as Checo walked away, leaving him standing alone in the hallway. He felt raw, exposed, and utterly defeated. But maybe Checo was right. Maybe the best thing he could do for Amelie—for both of them—was to stay away. Even if it broke him in the process.