#he was trying to kill the OTHERS in a ritual because apparently they're a lot worse than he is (and he was still bad)

[venusmage]

do you run your d&d game from a prewritten book? or did you write your own plot? i want to get in to GMing but i'm not sure where to start. i also want to know about the story of your game!

My very first campaign was a heavily modified version of Waterdeep: Dragon Heist! Though in reality I used it more for a guide on the city's lore rather than the plot of the campaign itself (as I think it's...bad. I think lots of WotC's stuff is bad. I only have experience with 5e's books though. RIP that I really like the settings and their potential a lot)

I basically told my players what I was running and let them make PCs that would have interesting ties to the city. Then I modified the main campaign to revolve more around their backstories. I don't think you CAN'T do a plot where the PCs are completely divorced from the storyline, I just happen to like making them integral to it! I think it helps avoid the dreaded instance where the story becomes a "why didn't the DM just write a book?" situation. If I write it with the players in mind at the center of it, it means they always take precedence.

Seven Asunder / Waterdeep 2.0 is a plot I wrote myself now that I'm a little more confident with DMing and comfortable with my group! It revolves around the seven apprentices of Halaster Blackcloak and their bloody history. After a century+ of their whereabouts being unknown, they start becoming a problem once again and it's up to the PCs to put a stop to whatever they're planning. They're the major antagonists of the game and since their influence reached across the planes (and even the multiverse), it's not impossible to imagine they could have ties to the PCs backstories. I came up with it just because I love evil wizard bullshit and I also love "groups" of villains, as well as The Seven/Halaster/Undermountain being some of my favorite lore in the FR setting!

If you're writing your own plot for the first time and it's in an established setting, I think it'd be smart to gauge what your players are interested in as well as figure out what parts of that universe you're most drawn to and go from there!

[magicalmelancholy-blog1]

The problem with planning a Len'en fanfic with a wider scope is that Len'en is a series where so much is going on.

Like, while Tsubakura is trying to chill and getting their chill time interrupted by some incidents and the presence of Suzumi, there's this fucking political drama going on in the background. This bitch (Fumikado) wants to become the vessel for this dead guy because their grandfather thought he was the true emperor and it was his dream to revive this guy and Fumikado is going to fulfill that dream because their grandfather took them in after their parents died and they have to repay him. Only problem is they failed, and also screwed over some people along the way.

Like, they had this servant that was raised from childhood to always be loyal to them (Chouki), but at some point, said servant killed themself so they could come back as a spirit and play some magic soul controlling flute you can only play if you died once, because the ritual to revive the dead guy needs a hell lot of souls. Only problem is the servant got their breath taken away in the revival process so they couldn't play the flute, and Fumikado cut them out of the plan after that, so now Chouki is fucking pissed at them and they end up dedicating their life to revenge against Fumikado. At some point trying to beat them to becoming the emperor becomes part of that.

Of course, they have allies, such as another person Fumikado screwed over (Para), who Fumikado stole their body from (oh yeah Fumikado ended up switching to this stronger homunculus body their grandfather grew in a lab and spent a lot of time growing it into the perfect vessel) and now they're stuck in Fumikado's old child body (wait child body?). Apparently being a homunculus in this world mean you're born with all knowledge but it starts dripping away as you get older and Para didn't get to do shit with their infinite knowledge because they were sealed up (sometimes anyway, it depends on whether or not you count the person Tsubakura grew [Kurohebi] as a homunculus, and that person does not have this problem, guess pseudohumans are different).

Fumikado's chief advisor (Iyozane) used to be the heir to the royal family Fumikado was hoping to overthrow but they were locked under house arrest due to some conspiracy and ended up getting poisoned by their sibling (Mitori)(it was all but stated to be consensual). Some stuff happened (Iyozane's words not mine) and they came back to life, but when they did it they didn't become a spirit or lose their breath or anything so they can play the soul controlling flute. They chilled for a while (because being a pirate didn't work out) but they totally jumped on the chance to help Fumikado overthrow the royal family, but they got cocky and tried to scam the wrong person (Kuroji) and now both them and Fumikado are in debt. Not to mention they failed to overthrow the royal family. By the way, their sibling did manage to overthrow the royal family.

Also like, this guy Iyozane hired (Tsugumi) has beef with the Senri Shrine. The same Senri Shrine Tsubakura got isekaid to run. Like, it's implied to be a much more personal reason, but the fact that the previous priest of the Senri Shrine, Tsurubami, ruled over Mugenri with an iron fist definitely didn't help. A lot of people have problems with Tsurubami and Senri in general (Kunimitsu, Suzumi, and apparently Tsurubami leaving meant that people felt more free to act up so I assume there are others). A few people used to have homoerotic relationships with them (Tenkai, Xeno a, and Haiji has a weird parasocial thing going on).

Jesus Christ I was just gonna oversimplify things but there's like 5 paragraphs and there is still so much. Point is, you have to keep track of what everyone else has going on in case it ends up affecting your story. Don't even get me started on the incident of the game formula that the danmaku games use (a carryover from its Touhou inspirations) and trying to figure out whether or not you'd have to shove an incident into your story to keep it canon compliant. (The answer for me usually boils down to "Bitch do you know how much of this is built on headcanonning between the lines? This fic can go without a background incident.")

[firebastardextraordinaire]

OOOH OC FUN FACTS!! Thanks to darling @lilarus for tagging me! i tagggg @lucien-lachance @loderlied @theladygrim @cheesychickenwings and @ray-elgatodormido

I think I’m going to astonish everyone by choosing Vinari over Jura for this lmao (if only bc all of you already know so much about Jura lol)

So naturally some of you already know that Vinvin is my main character for my original work Fallacy of the Damned but she’s also been supplanted as one of my official dnd/forgotten realms blorbos too!

So onto the fun facts about Faerunian Vinari/Dirge! I'm putting it under a readmore bc holy shit this is long af and kinda got out of hand bc i've only ever really talked to Ari about Faerunian Vinari i think lmao

- Vinari (chosen name for a while) was born Dirge to a human sorceror/cleric of Myrkul and the heir to the Drow Bhaalist Clan of the Vidrus, both sects who lived in Waterdeep (well the Vidrus lived in the UpperDark under Waterdeep technically) and thus Dirge Vidrus was raised in both Myrkul and Bhaal’s churches (with a hint of Lolth too. Lolth begrudgingly shares the Vidrus the Bhaal but only because she kinda likes the funky little upjumped human. They’ve bonded over a mutual love of death and murder and apparently breeding horrific and evil monster children)

- Dirge’s official classes are Shadow Sorcerer (which she got from dad, who got one of Myrkul’s evil hugs full of necrotic energy that nearly fucking killed him but apparently did not affect his ability to have children. Or maybe it DID but Myrkul was like, yknow what I’ll allow it this time bc he needs more worshippers anyway and Gods can be freaks when it comes to their clerics breeding habits) and Phantom Rogue (which is a subclass that many rogues can pick up from a variety of ways from sleeping in graveyards or training in/by death god cults or by liches.) in Dirge’s case, the phantom subclass cane naturally as a result of being a shadow sorceror AND being raised by the clergy of TWO gods of death. (I’d def recommend looking at these two 5e classes because they are literally SO fun) she also has a couple levels in warlock, but not because she made a pact with a patron, but because she IS her own patron. (Since in 5e you can have a powerful undead as a patron, I see no reason she can’t be her OWN patron once her magic gets powerful enough) she’s a pact of the blade warlock and her pact weapon is a dagger, which I’m about to talk about next!

- her dagger was created by and given to her by Myrkul himself. Because Myrkulites are followers of the god of the dead and don’t fear dying themselves, and consider getting one of their God’s necrosis filled hugs that are almost certain to kill them, and if they survive horribly fuck them up for life to be the highest honor, i think they definitely have a bunch of different rituals and just other kind of stupid shit that will easily kill them that they do for clout, honor, and as rites of passage. One of which being getting one of Myrkul’s evil hugs. ANOTHER is going through one of the thousands of portals to Hades and the realm of the dead to try and meet Myrkul in person. Generally speaking, this is not the wisest thing to do considering the realm of the dead is not a very friendly or safe place to be if youre alive, especially when you consider the fact that to even GET there, you have to go swimming through the Water of Forgetfulness, which drain people (living and dead) of both memory and emotions the longer they're exposed to it. Vinari passed the series of saving throws to keep her memories. She didn't do so well on the saving throws to keep her emotions, but she did make it there and back with her mind (and body) in tact, and Myrkul was both mildly impressed and amused by the fact she'd acomplished this that he gave her the dagger that serves as both her pact weapon (and thus arcane focus) and her main instrument of murder.

it has a LOT of very VERY unfriendly effects, which isn't exactly surprising considering it was made by the god of the dead for an assassin. The main ones being dealing extra necrotic damage on sneak attacks, critical hits, and attacks made while obscured but the super NASTY effect it has is that wounds inflicted by it can't be healed with magic, in fact, healing magic will inflict necrotic damage INSTEAD of healing, so they have to be allowed to heal naturally, unless a mage casts Remove Curse. .....and if they don't cast remove curse with a level 7 spell slot or higher, THEY get hit with a second, counter curse! and have to roll a constitution saving throw against some necrotic damage lol.

and the thing is that the dagger is a long, thin, and slender blade designed for slipping into weak spots in armor and piercing vital organs or severing important arteries, aka meant for fast and quick assassinations. Which means that assuming the victim survives the initial attack, they're probably not going to survive for VERY LONG afterwards without immediate help from a cleric, who better hope that A. pass their arcana check to realize the wounds are cursed and that trying to heal them without removing the curse will only kill the poor bastard faster! and then B. pass a SECOND arcana check to realize that its a very POWERFUL curse and if they don't cast an appropriately powerful remove curse spell and try to go cheap with it, it's not going to end well for THEM either! and then C. better hope that they're actually POWERFUL ENOUGH to cast the spell with the high enough level spell slot needed to avoid the counter curse!

all in all, it is definitely not a weapon that one would want wielded against them lmao

- MOVING ON, Vin's story in Faerun is actually split into two parts. The first taking place during the Time of Troubles, where she's running around as a mercenary by day and assassin by night, and she ends up Joining Midnight and Kelemvor's party to go rescue Mystra from Bane (though naturally none of them have any idea thats what theyre even DOING until they get there) and Even though Kel's got his bit of sexism going on at the beginning (in that he didn't want midnight going at all to begin with either) it's actually Cyric who vouches for Vinari's skills and convinces Kelemvor to let her go too because Cyric and Vinari were casually hanging out and doing merc work together before meeting Kelemvor. Pretty much no one finds out/knows for sure that Vin's a fucking BHAALIST until book two and three. Cyric gets it confirmed by Bane in book two, and he outes her to the party in book three.

But to make a long story short, when Cyric (well not him actually, his sentient sword) kills Bhaal in the third book, Midnight teleported the party away from the ensuing blast from the death of the god. Well, MOST of the party. Unfortunately for Vin, she was on the OTHER side of Bhaal from the party watching the fighting go down because she's stuck between a rock and a hard place here because she likes the party and doesnt want them to die, but at the same time, the god of murder is one of the LAST gods you ever want to betray (or them think you betrayed them)

so yeah, Vinari does NOT get teleported to safety with everyone else, and she very nearly gets blown to fucking smithereens when Bhaal dies. but she doesn't! (though she doesn't know its because in his final moments Bhaal did some quick spellwork to shield her from the majority of the blast because he needs her alive for one of his MANY contingency plans) but even though she doesn't die, she's fucking nearly dead for almost the rest of book because while the rest of the party is dealing with myrkul's shit, she's fucking floating down the winding river. which is now polluted with Bhaal's blood and divine essence. which means she's taking a veryyyyy long bath soaking in and absorbing the fucking god of death's divine power! So by the time she recovers enough to pull her sorry ass out of the fucking river, she's very much NOT the same person that she was before she nearly got blown to pieces.

so yeah she ends up hightailing it to the closest divine staircase to try and figure out what all has happened while she was microdosing being dead, and gets there right in time to see Midnight and Cyrics chat with Ao about the tablets and becoming gods.

remember that Cyric is the one who (supposedly) killed Bhaal, whose divine essence Vin has spent the last two to three weeks soaking in.

I'm sure you can guess exactly what happens next. and if not ill tell you anyway. Vinari promptly fucking kills cyric right in front of the God of Gods. By throwing her dagger with perfect aim and lodging it right in Cyric's throat from fifty feet away.

Of course, Ao LET her do this bc he's well aware of the fact that she's upjumped on Bhaal's divine essence and he wanted to see if she'd prove herself a worthy successor to him, and which in immediately killing Cyric on sight, she did.

Of course, Ao just immediately revives Cyric bc he DOES still intend to make him a god, its just instead of getting all the dead three's portfolios, he's losing death to Vinari.

so yeah, Vinari becomes the new god of Death! Also she starts going by Dirge again when she becomes a god and ends up sticking with it. Speaking of her godhood, it lasts about 10 years because i'm one of the "actually bg2 revived bhaal just fine and according to his plan, he was just incredibly antisocial and didn't bother telling anyone he was back in action again for another 100 years" truthers, and of course as soon as Bhaal was alive again and walking into his old, now Dirge's throne room, she was more than happy to see him and give him all his power back (which is EXACTLY what he thought she'd do and why the last thing he did before dying was ensuring that SHE didn't) So now Bhaal is the god of murder again, and Dirge, now just a rank 0 quasideity, heads back to Faerun to start renacting his will so he can regain more of his power faster.

Which leads to Dirge being around and causing trouble in bg3, but this is already long enough so i won't go into that lmao.

But here have some pictures of her mortal forms before and after becoming a god. She chooses to take the form of a human in the after because being a half drow is REALLY inconvenient to getting around places lmao

[traumaticemphaticfantastic]

[Reposting this because I realized I got the formatting all wrong last time, much apologies I have been going through some stuff lately]

Back in March of 2023 and into earlier this year I was working on my character-design skills and decided to do (And continue my journey in now) a little sketching project wherein I draw various Jewish characters and creatures from Jewish folklore and biblical stories, I wanted to design them in the context of a cartoon or comic book (As that's the sort of style I obviously specialize in) with simpler less complicated designs. I'm going to be sharing here what I have so far and what I continue to make into the future, but I will be doing it in batches as to not overwhelm anybody.

Now, the characters I have today are part of a more traditional Judaism's biggest (Non-human) baddies, Lilith and her husband, Ashmedai, as well as two sketches of just regular demons. Lilith and Ashmedai are the king and queen of all demons in Jewish tradition, though "Demons" is probably not the best way to put it because Jewish demons are incredibly, *incredibly* different than they are in Christianity (Don't know enough about Islam or Jinn to have a take on their differences tho sry). In Judaism demons are usually written about as annoying little "Mazziks" or "Shedim" (They have lots of terms for them from what I understand), these little guys are invisible and have a tendency to cause you harm in various mischievous ways, they can purportedly also shapeshift into tangible mimics of humans and animals, this they will also use to cause you harm.

Demons are described as similar to angels but different in many other ways, they are not fallen angels and are in-fact their own class of similar entities which G-d intended to create (Though may have got too tired by Shabbat and left them unfinished without bodies).

The crazy thing about them too is that apparently they're *everywhere* like in the tens of thousands just in your immediate vicinity, so many that apparently a Rav by the name of Beivai bar Abaye managed to see the demons in their true form and quantity after performing a ritual involving rubbing the ashes of a black cat's afterbirth in his eyes and as a result he "Was harmed" (Don't worry though he was saved by The Sages through prayers for mercy). But don't worry! if you want an easier and less harmful way to see the demons all you have to do is spread regular old ashes around your bed and (Apparently) when you wake up you will see the demons' footprints which happen to look like those of a chickens.

There's a lot more about general demons that I won't get into here for your sake (For instance their strange affinity for bathrooms), but if you're interested in learning more I highly recommend Sefaria.org for further reading on subject, they provide very nice translations of very old and great Jewish texts and they're quite the read and not just concerning demonology!

Now as for Ashmedai and Lilith: Lilith was once Adam's first wife, but when she wanted to top Adam during sexual intercourse he basically said

"No Lilith, I'm the man I need to top you!" to which Lilith said "Forget this!" And said the divine name which granted her the ability to fly and flew all the way to a cave near the sea. Adam was mad about this so he asked G-d to retrieve his wife to which G-d sent three angels "Sanoy, Sansenoy, and Semangelof" (Which as an aside, as hard as I try I CANNOT think about these names without thinking about them being spoken in the Doodlebob voice) who go to Lilith's cave and basically say "Go back to Eden girl" and Lilith's like "Naw, and just cause you said that I'm gonna start strangling human babies as their mothers give birth to them!" And the angels are like "Oh alright, BUT on one condition: If humans make amulets with our names inscribed on them, you won't be allowed to kill their babies" and Lilith basically says

"Cool." And so she was replaced with Eve, she became the queen of demons, and to this day she's been doing sinful stuff and giving birth to thousands of demon babies and killing human babies as well (She's also responsible for wet dreams cause she can enter your dreams apparently but don’t worry, there's an amulet for that too).

A little tidbit: the reason my version of Lilith is depicted as nude is because if she was the first woman before Eve and dipped before the eating of the fruit incident, logically she would know no shame and would have no need to clothe herself, it's why I draw all my demons as naked actually!

Ashmedal is Lilith's husband and the king of demons, he is said to have been enslaved by the great King Solomon and made to help build the First Temple of Israel after having his location doxxed via Solomon capturing and tormenting a pair of male and female demons into confession, all this to find a kind of stone-cutting masonry worm called a "Shamir" because Solomon was told the Temple should not be built with any tool. Within the same story it's also revealed that even the king of demons studies Torah both in heaven and on earth (As I said Jewish demon lore isn't at all like Christianity's) and in a lot of ways Ashmedai is actually a really good guy, he helps people onto the literal right path as to assure their place in the world to come, he cries at a wedding because he knows the bridegroom won't be alive much longer, surprisingly chill king of demons. Also King Solomon loves to get drunk and one of his men throw a clod of dirt at a rooster to get to the Shamir which is in its nest, this causes the rooster to strangle itself to death because it was just borrowing the Shamir from the angelic minister of the sea and felt immense shame in not being able to return it. But, this post is getting longgg and frankly the story of King Solomon of Ashmedai is absolutely BONKERS in the best kind of way, I cannot do it justice here PLEASE read the full thing on Sefaria I am begging you it is a masterpiece in Jewish writing.

Whew! That was quite fun to type out, and that's not even the half of it! Jewish demonology may not be as present within the modern world as it was in the ancient one, but it's certainly very amazing mythology and I absolutely love learning and reading about it because of how truly unique it is! Anyways, that will be all for today, may all of you who see this be well and may you avoid the demons’ mischief!

[loquaciousquark]

4-Sided Dive Highlights - Critical Role C3 up to E40 (Dec. 7, 2022)

It's Christmas! We'll pretend this isn't three weeks late as we join Liam, Laura, Matt, and Taliesin. Liam wins host with a 6 and Matt nearly topples the Jenga tower cheering. The host's script instructs him to intro in song ("Motherfucker!") and to The Twelve Days of Christmas we get "On tonight's 4-Sided Dive/We will have for you/A silly gift exchange game, Mercer's Nein Mighty's reunited, Taliesin played as Kingsley, Orym totally died, and Laura Bailey sundered a tree. Let's fucking do a show!"

What the Happy Holidays Fuck is Up With That? Everyone is sad Eshteross is dead. Matt never killed Allura or Shaun or Essek, so this took the players by surprise. Matt says it was possible in any campaign (Gilmore & Allura did almost die), but it still sucked for him to do. There's been a lot of death for this party in the two-three months they've been together.

Laura says it felt like Otohan was toying with them; the only reason they're not all dead is that she wanted them to live. Matt says it was meant to be a deadly encounter but she was defeatable. Now they have something to work for.

Everyone wants to know where Imogen's mom is. The moon? Yios? Is the city on the moon old or did Otohan set up a popup town?

The were clan was very cool and they were all very attractive. They joke about derailing the campaign to set up a dating sim in the Gorgynei and leaving the moon stuff to Vox Machina.

Matt was so stressed going into the VM stuff, which Liam brings up to discuss as he wasn't on the last episode. "All I could think of leading up to us recording that next session was going, 'Oh shit! I have to do multiple characters of your characters in front of you to each other! Great.'" Everyone agrees that Matt did an awesome job representing their characters. There are a lot of side conversations the players didn't get to see; Matt thinks everyone was communicating with each other on the back end (especially with Percy) while the ritual was going on.

After a dig from Taliesin, Matt reveals that the old Talks faux-pas where some incredibly expensive scotch was mixed with Coke was not actually his doing; it was mixed for him. Sure, Matt. Sure.

Taliesin and Matt discussed Whitestone's advancement and development over the years, since it's a bunch of very expensive resources in a very tiny space. Taliesin tells us that the acid pit has become a low yield battery electrifying street lights at night in the city. "What Lex Luthor could have been with better friends."

Laura protests that she knows nothing about the Ruidus flares and is met with general skepticism. Matt tells us the flares have happened for years with no pattern; this isn't a new thing. However, the recurrences are getting more frequent.

What's causing the flares, the gods trying to break free? Otohan? Laura doesn't think Otohan is on the moon. Laura posits that the city is all the gods' original worshipers; when the gods were bound there, all their worshipers & belief were transported there and bound with them, since that's what gives the gods power. Laura realizes belatedly (and very dramatically) that if this were true, the BH's efforts to figure out what's going on are actually weakening the barriers to belief and helping them be released. Liam has been wondering this for a while, apparently--what if Otohan is the hero and BH are accidentally releasing these evil gods? Horror upon horrors! Matt's poker face reveals nothing, argh.

The Mighty Nein reunited! Everyone loves Kingsley's vibe. Laura regrets not at least calling Caduceus for help. Laura improvs calling him in the moment, and oh my gosh I've missed Cad's voice so much. "Caduceus, Uk'otoa's free and we need your help! Can you come, please? Because you're a healer, and I'm still a healer, but you're better." "Hey. Oh wow! Yeah. Look, I'm kinda stuck here, working on a spell and my house that needs to be fixed. I wish I could help." Taliesin tells us he's in the middle of resetting the Blooming Grove by casting Temple of the Gods, which must be cast in the same place every day for a year. This is partly why Tal played Kingsley; he couldn't justify Caduceus leaving for this, and Kingsley had imprinted hard on the pirate life and would be more fun anyway.

They all loved the incredible fight and AMAZING mini. The tactics were super fun and they loved the opportunitis to experiment. Matt thanks Tyler Walpole who designed the mini and Ian of Iron Tusk who did the painting.

Matt talks about how they left many long term threads open at the end of C2 "like Law & Order for twenty years." He was glad for the opportunity to come back and close this one.

Uk'otoa is not a god, he's the creation of the god the Cloaked Serpent. He's just very powerful, and when the gods were sealed beyond the Divine Gate, he took his old god's dominion in the Lucidian Ocean by the Menagerie Coast for his own. He converted some of the Ki'Nau people there to his worship which gave him power. It wouldn't have been world-ending if they'd failed to seal him, but it would have changed a large chunk of the navigable waters in that area.

The Tower of Inquiry! It visibly wobbles multiple times, but Laura manages to get the block pulled. What would your characters' custom cocktails be? Imogen: a dark and stormy with the beer head being lavender-infused. Orym: an Aviation (which Marisha drinks a lot and Liam dislikes), which apparently tastes like potpourri, yuck. Ashton: a drink Taliesin can't remember the name of which involves pouring lots of clear liquors together with fruit infusions, which must be drunk quickly to avoid it seeping through the paper cup. Matt for Weva: Corpse Reviver (gin, Lillet blanc, orange liqueur and fresh lemon juice).

Gasp, an abuse of power: Liam forces Laura to go pull from the Tower again immediately, which she does successfully despite great sturm und drang. #10: what would your characters' phone cases be? Orym: a blue gem case. Ashton: duct tape over a cracked screen. Imogen: full horse girl with a custom case from a photo of Flora. Eshteross: a Blackberry with a silver stylus, ha!

The Deep Dive! Orym is just trying to do right by his group, lots of push ups and egg whites. He's feeling very overwhelmed all the time, but he tries to focus on the job at hand. There's no way forward without the group, and he's wondering if the current crazy conversations are what Keyleth and Percy used to experience. His death was a moment of certainty in his abject failure to everyone he loved, but he's dutiful and wants to serve, so he keeps his panic quietly to himself. :(

Imogen is also overwhelmed at the minute with the roller coaster of emotion. Her mom's alive but refuses to see her; they don't know what's happening with the moon. Liam marvels at the dichotomy of seeing this path of power before her that she seems clearly fated to master, and yet fearing becoming a villain if she leans into it too much.

Orym is flat-out the reason that Ashton joined the group because of his connection with "Ashari," similar to the "Hishari" keyword connecting Ashton to his past. The moment everyone went down in the Otohan fight was the moment Ashton realized he was genuinely invested and was going to have to put in an effort to build these relationships. Liam loves Ashton's reaching out to people and feels Orym and Ashton have started becoming quietly supportive.

Matt imagined the Claret Orders scattering throughout the world to help those who were cursed. The Gorgynei were a splinter group focused specifically on lycanthropes, and Matt created them in response to Chetney. Matt LOVES taking elements from the characters' narratives (some backstories, some future goals) and getting to tease and reveal it in game. Travis especially "lights up like a lighthouse" when he realizes they're getting into character material. Matt also says definitively that there are no wereherbivores. Alas.

Orym doesn't really blame himself for having his mind read to reveal Eshteross's location; he's a swordsman with no magical defenses. Matt knows a ton about Eshteross's backstory and hopes to get to discuss it soon.

Imogen doesn't think she created her own dreams, even though she can control aspects of them now.

Character block break!

Ashton's habitually being left behind causes low expectations of other people. "People come. People go. People die. People don't. It's kind of just how it goes. It's a very low-impact reality." All his intimate relationships thus far have been built on that, with knowing everyone loved and cared for each other while still maintaining a safe distance.

Yios, the City of Flowing Light! It's illustrious and in the middle of the lake and is rivaled only by Ank'harel in its places of learning. It's a mostly orc/half-orc society.

Orym felt awful about being chosen over Laudna; it echoed everything in his past where the important people were gone and he was still there.

Imogen/Laura "sobbed every single day" Laudna was dead.

Ashton's feelings about his own death are very different to Laudna's resurrection. He deserved what happened to him; she didn't.

Matt considered bringing in Essek to fight alongside the M9 but didn't want to overshadow the main characters; plus, he's still in hiding from nearly being executed. It would have had to be seriously dangerous for him to come out. Matt was glad for the brief cameo at the end.

The Tower of Inquiry, Reprise! Laura pulls a third block even faster than the last two, but the tower wobbles dangerously. What would your characters hoard as dragons? Ashton: things that are not useful: string, packaging from iPhones. Caleb: a pile of flame-retardant books. Orym: a pile of pies; Vax: a horde of days in the sun, ouch. Percy: a mine of money and magical rocks and oh, right. Jester: sweets. Imogen: a field of flowers.

The Tower of Inquiry, Matt Edition: he baaaarely manages to pull one successfully, but does. Laura: "Let me propose something to you. If we stop pulling from the tower now, then whoever does 4-Sided Dive next is going to have to suffer the consequences of our actions." Liam: "You're asking me to band together with you and turn on them. I'll take it into consideration."

Is it hard to keep character backstories from each other? Liam prefers delighting/disappointing people at the table, so it's not hard for him. Taliesin likes keeping it secret as well, but did talk with Travis about blood hunters. He often tells secrets to Dani because she likes knowing secrets, ha! Laura has a tough time not discussing it with people.

Liam is gone to the bathroom and orders Laura to pull another block while he's gone. However, mutiny from the inside reveals no block pulled and a charade played by all remaining actors instead. Except--a second twist! Liam doesn't actually go to the bathroom, he goes to play a wolf puppet with glasses whose mouth hardly ever moves (I get the impression Liam is having to work very hard to stay up with the teleprompter). Wolfie tells us the story of Winter's Crest with more racing hot rods and Errevon the Rimelord vs. Santa than I think I remember from C1.

Post-Break Shenanigans! A gift-exchange game based on die rolls, apparently a combination of White Elephant and Dirty Santa, along with questions scattered about throughout.

Weva was created as an interesting mirror to a society that can speak with the dead and bring the dead back to life. She reminds Matt of the theater goth girls he knew in high school that used to ask him if he knew about rotten.com.

Orym has gotten glimpses of Percy & Vex in the past, and it was cool for him to be in the company of greatness.

Ashton is growing more comfortable with physical contact from the BHs the more he gets to know the BHs. Strangers cause worse pain.

Matt was very excited to get to play the Uk'otoa oneshot. The Earthquake spell at the temple really shook up his plans, ha ha ha.

For Laura, killing Delilah twice was beautiful. She was terrified to fight her at that level.

Laura keeps rolling the "steal a present" number and holds the entire stack in her arms like a child. It's hilarious.

Jester loves living at sea; all she wanted when she left home was to have an adventure, and this is a chance for her to get to destroy and create. She thinks she and the Traveler have become really good friends but she understands him better now; it's like knowing your parents after you've grown up, where you understand better where they've come from.

For Laura, seeing Vex in all her glory was fabulous. She thinks Matt well understood Vex's motivations and her greed/generosity.

Liam felt so low with Orym's death. "It was not the way I would have ever wanted his story to end." Seeing Will was beautiful.

Caleb went to the Soltryce Academy because it's better to keep your enemies close, and also Beau made him.

Final gift tally:

Taliesin: looseleaf tea, a ball of Band-Aids (ew!), a laser pen, and deer knuckle bones (fitting)

Matt: an Oculus Quest 2 (!) and staffer Jerry's stapler

Laura: a small digital camera that insta-prints photos, A BAG OF SAM'S BABY TEETH GOD WHY

Liam: a ream of printer paper, the original shellacked Tower of Inquiry (ha!), candles from Cantrip Candles, and duct tape & gaffer tape

(It should also be noted that I was tracking these in real time as they switched and stole from each other, and at one point Laura gave Liam the shellacked tower in exchange for another gift--only at that point the tower was actually TALIESIN'S and not hers to give, so clearly the whole thing is moot and ought to be redone)

Liam makes Laura draw one last time from the Tower due to her earlier truthlessness, hahaha. No topple, though this sucker is now precarious. Theme songs for characters? Imogen: Barracuda by Heart. Orym: Queen. Ashton: War Baby.

We close on a gripping monologue about the tragic ephemeral joy experienced by seasonal decorations from a set Santa statue in a pilgrim hat. Who's writing these??

And that's it! Merry Christmas, and is it Thursday yet?

[cardinaldante]

Greetings siblings of the church! I.. didn't manage to get sleep last night, and was very cranky in the morning. I made sure to still be nice to the person banging on my door in the morning and waking me up. It was a sister, and she told me that the brother who was supposed to be showing the children around had gotten sick, and could I please take them on a tour of the church?

I asked Aurora and Phantom if they wanted to come with me, and they said yes. I let myself be dragged over to the children, and put on my excited voice and face when I met them. I explained to the children about the ghouls first, and warned them about both Sodo and Rain. Mountain only went after adults, but Sodo and Rain didn't care who they hurt or killed. Mountain, at least, had morals. The other two apparently didn't. I told them that Aurora and Phantom were the best ghouls to come to if they needed help, and then we set off on our tour.

I showed them around all of the church apart from two places. Or well, three if you counted the lake as one place. I warned the kids away from the crypts, and told them that there were ghost and dangerous creatures that only ghouls could handle down there. To help my point, I guess, Papa Nihil floated from a wall nearby and through the door to the crypts. I had to calm down ALOT of scared kids until they were calm enough for us to continue. If Papa Nihil was still alive I would strangle him. I also warned them away from the ghouls wing and the lake. I told them that the ghouls liked their privacy and while I and the Papa's were able to go in, others may not be so happy. I reminded them of Rain and Sodo again as a just incase.

I told them to never go by the lake because Rain liked to hunt there and most of them didn't know how to swim, so that's good. Not good but.. they'll stay safe. After that I gave them the speil about the Papa's and how they shouldn't be rude or anything to them as they run the church, and reminded them again that they were able to pick whichever religion they chose. Aurora piped up and told them they she was happy to have newcomers, and that she was excited to see them all grow. Better than what I could have done. I dropped the children back off with sister who'd waken me up, and headed back to my room.

I ran into Jacob before I was able to get there. He had come to see me again. I told Aurora and Phantom that I'd see them later and me and Jacob took a walk around the place, talking about our day. He told me that Father DeFroque had been.. weirder than the last priest he'd studies under. For one, while he hadn't said anything bad about the church, he was still letting the town's people think that we were the reason for their people dying. Papa Copia had cleared that all up with the cops. He'd explained (with, if I remember what Phil had told me, a bit of mind control on Aethers part. And speaking of Phil, after ritual night, I hadn't seen him as much. I'm glad about that, I was getting annoyed by the smothering. I should go visit him tommorow, siblings.) to the cops about Saltarian being a serial killer, and after trying to kill the Papa's and I, I had reacted in self defense and killed him.

Jacob told me that lots of people belived it(apparently Saltarian wasn't too well liked outside of the church either) but most didn't. Father DeFroque was getting them riled up. Apparently he wanted to take a tour of the satanic church tommorow, on Sunday, after their church service ends, and I told Jacob that all was welcomed here. We may be satanist, but we're not assholes. We'll let anyone join and/or look over the church if they'd like. I know Brother Tobias and Brother Justin aren't even satanist- they're just here.

We talked for a bit more before he had to leave, and I walked him to the gates and watched as he headed off. Aether was waiting for me litterally the moment I turned around- and no, siblings, I did NOT scream! I was just startled. I asked him what he was doing, sneaking up on me like that, and he told me he looked over my symptoms from the other day, from the church. He told me that I showed all signs of when a ghoul or demon enters church grounds, but the problem was, why was I showing those signs.

I repeated what I said yesterday- I probably just got a bit of hell stuck in me. Aether said that wasn't possible- but he'll let me believe that for now as he worked out why I was being so weird. He told me Sodo wanted to see me- and then told me to not take anything from him, which felt contradictory. We headed over to the ghouls wing after that, and Sodo was waiting outside.

He told me he hadn't actually thanked me for saving the Papa's and clearing Ifrits name- even if the ghoul had attacked me in his last moments on earth- and that he wanted to give me something. Sodo handed me a box, and after a glance at Aether, who shrugged, I took it and opened it. Inside was a few small bottles of tequila, and a bottle of fireball. While I did drink on ritual night, I... Wasn't too keen on replaying that decision. At least, not while any Papa's were around. Satan below, I'm turning into a little rebel, huh?

Unfortunately Aether saw the inside of the box and snatched it from me, before telling Sodo(who he called Dewdrop, which, huh. Swiss had told me so long ago not to call him that, but Aether calls him that and Sodo cringes away from him. Was he scared of Aether? I would be.) that he couldn't just give someone underage alcohol. Sodo replied that we were in Italy, and it shouldn't matter. Aether said something in their language, shoved the box back into his arms, and dragged me off. I looked back at Sodo and he just winked at me, and somehow, I knew I'd find the box somewhere in my room during the coming days.

Aether dragged me to my office and told me to 'work on some work' so I got started and decided to update you all and get started on the feildtrips the children would be going on. I think the first place has to be a zoo and a aquarium. Not because I love the zoo and the aquarium, but... Well, okay, that's a lie it's because I love the zoo and the aquarium. Anyways, Aether is glaring daggers at me, so I should get to work before he murders me. That would be bad.

[livefromcastledracula]

This is definitely Stoker trying to reconcile his vampire story with the original folklore. Carmilla did the same thing with the same result - it explicitly states that anyone killed by a vampire becomes one, in which case the vicinity of Laura's little schloss should be crawling with (teenage, female) vampires thanks to her clingy vampire girlfriend nomming on all the village girls in the background.

This comes from the original pattern of vampire folklore in a lot of places and times, where its representative of an outbreak of transmissible illness in a village community, killing first one person and then spreading until people are dropping like flies. Accordingly the pestilence isn't stopped until the original vampire is identified, dug up and ritually cleansed.

Though this is where the folklore tends to get foggy on how that stops any younger vampire that might have been missed in the purge, unless taking out the original magically lays the whole chain to rest.

This has a lot of variants and is an incredibly widespread and ancient bit of recurring human folklore across the world. Vampires have probably been with us in some form or other since we started telling each other stories in the dark (and having inexplicable deaths to process).

The problem for stories like Dracula and Carmilla is that they break from the pattern in other places, their central vampire character being presented as a larger than life aristocrat who has lived for centuries in one place instead of a sudden short lived outbreak like in the peasant lore they're drawing from.

"Vampires are immortal aristocrats" is definitely a literary rather than a folklore invention, and it clashes a bit with the older stuff because if that one vampire has haunted that one spot forever it would follow that the place would be crawling with vampires.

This is dealt with in Carmilla with the backstory of the Karnstein family and their abandoned village wiped out by a vampire-plague-cum-staking-spree.

Less so in Dracula, where we only have the Count and the weed smoking roommates. Although his apparent withered and aged appearance at the start might suggest he has been dormant or 'fasting' perhaps for centuries and only keeping the Trio fed through contributing to local infant mortality, helping to explain why so few people live nearby. Perhaps the Count has some way to prevent prey turning and overpopulating, like yeeting the Demeter crew into the sea when he's done and letting the "running water" if that applies to ocean currents take care of them.

Or maybe Castle Dracula has a basement full of buried, starving vampire babies, cast offs of the Trio.

It'd track.

When they become such, there comes with the change the curse of immortality; they cannot die, but must go on age after age adding new victims and multiplying the evils of the world; for all that die from the preying of the Un-Dead becomes themselves Un-Dead, and prey on their kind. And so the circle goes on ever widening, like as the ripples from a stone thrown in the water. Friend Arthur, if you had met that kiss which you know of before poor Lucy die; or again, last night when you open your arms to her, you would in time, when you had died, have become nosferatu, as they call it in Eastern Europe, and would all time make more of those Un-Deads that so have fill us with horror. The career of this so unhappy dear lady is but just begun. Those children whose blood she suck are not as yet so much the worse; but if she live on, Un-Dead, more and more they lose their blood and by her power over them they come to her; and so she draw their blood with that so wicked mouth. But if she die in truth, then all cease; the tiny wounds of the throats disappear, and they go back to their plays unknowing ever of what has been.

It seems van Helsing's conception of the way vampirism spreads is very liberal. You don't need to do much special at all. If ever anyone is a victim of a vampire, then they too will eventually become a vampire. Based on what he thinks of Arthur's danger from the kiss, it might not necessarily even have to be from a bite. Or at least, maybe he thought she would bite him when she kissed him, and that would be all it takes.

He also believes that if the 'sire' is killed (to use pop culture vampire lingo which doesn't appear at all in this book I'm pretty sure), all the victims who are still alive will be saved. So long as they don't die before Lucy is killed, every one of the children she has drank from will remain human. But if any of them died, they would become a vampire even if they didn't die immediately or because of her feeding on them.

I don't know that I buy this, simply because it could lead to so exponential a growth of vampires. If this were the case then presumably all the people Dracula has killed thus far would become vampires. Well, maybe van Helsing thinks they only turn into vampires if they have been drunk from at least once, but even then it seems like there would be tons of vampires in Transylvania from Dracula's long life there. Maybe he knows about this and is selective in who he kills, or he somehow ensures they don't rise as vampires most of the time afterwards. But even then I feel like this theory needs some tweaking to make sense.

My personal belief is that death via blood loss is necessary to make a vampire. In rare cases it may be possible to circumvent that by turning them in some other way, but it has to be an intentional act. This definitely slows the spread of vampires but at least it explains why Dracula is so set on a particular prey until the end (in addition to him hating being denied what he wants).

[rendevousz]

niagara falls of blood?

avengers x fem!teen!reader

summary: pretty much what the title is, you on your period

warnings: your moodswings ig

word count: 2765

"rise and shine, y/n!" you hear an annoying voice sing just as the lights flickered on. you grumbled something inaudible, hiding underneath your blanket to shield yourself from the brightness that steve just brought upon your room.

"y/n/n, come on. wakey-wakey!" you groan, feeling super unmotivated to train today. you even felt like punching steve in his perfect-looking face just for waking you up at the crack ass of dawn. this was unusual because you loved jogs before the sun came up and trainings before it hit noon.

"steve, if you don't shut the hell up right now, i'm gonna push you into that lake beside our usual jogging route."

"jeez, y/n, woke up on the wrong side or what?" he teases, finally leaving once he saw you were already sitting up. you groggily walked to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth before changing into your workout clothes.

"no!" you whine when you saw that you were on your period. that's why you were in a crappy mood when steve woke you up. you begrudgingly dressed up after putting on a pad, grabbing a small towel on the way out.

like you did every morning, you were gonna go on a run with steve, bucky and sam. while you loved running, you hated how steve and bucky "cheated" —as you and sam liked to call it— with their super soldier staminas. that was why you loved having sam there. not only was he great company but he was also moral support because you two would always be hilariously overtook by steve and bucky multiple times. but that didn't matter because you two would always be completely immersed in your conversations every time.

but not today though. you already knew today was going to be different. you had gotten a bad start to the day with steve's and your usual morning routine which somehow annoyed you this one time. and having to run around with your cramps definitely didn't help lighten your mood.

"kid, you okay?" sam asks from your right side. you'd been silent throughout the whole run and sam knew something was up when you didn't laugh at his jokes like how you usually would. "just cramps. they're hurting a lot so i'm probably gonna skip training today." you explain and he slowed down his pace causing you to slow down too since you always had to run side by side.

"y/n/n, you should probably stop now if you're having cramps. it might make it worse—i think? i don't know, actually. i don't know how periods work but i know cramps hurt a lot so i think you should stop. yeah, you should stop." his rambling speech made you feel a bit better now knowing he wants you to take care of yourself. "you know what? yeah, i think i'm gonna go. sorry i have to leave you with the two cheaters."

he smiled at you, telling you not to worry about it. you were touched and your mood significantly brightened but before you could reply him, rhythmic footsteps echoed from a distance from behind you two and you knew what was coming.

"on your left."

before steve and bucky could just pass by peacefully like they did the past nine times, you managed to throw a punch to steve's side, effectively slowing him down when he stumbled and then completely stopped. "what gives, y/n?!" bucky then stopped too, wanting to know what was up.

"that's for this morning." you glared at him and he looked at you in confusion, holding onto his side where you punched him. though you were significantly smaller than he was—than any of them were, really—, you could definitely throw a punch. speaking of punch, you gave him another on his other side and he flinched, giving you an incredulous look, one that resembled betrayal.

"and that's for being a cheater." you narrowed your eyes at him. "oN yOuR LeFt." you mocked him, rolling your eyes before ultimately leaving the trio to walk back to the tower. they looked at your fading figure and exchanged looks with each other in confusion. "what...what just happened?"

"y/n's on her period so we gotta be careful with her." sam explained and steve being steve, his cheeks tinted slight pink as the thought slightly embarrassed him.

"period? you mean the niagra falls of blood," bucky states, taking a long sip out his water bottle. sam rolled his eyes at this but nodded anyways. "also, she doesn't want training today so unless any of you have a death wish, don't call her down for anything other than for food, got it?"

"yes, sir."

"got it."

-

"you do it,"

"i don't want to, you do it."

"can one of you just do it? why don't you guys want to wake y/n up?" nat stopped bucky and steve's little argument as she turned away from the stove for a bit. "you two love waking her up and carrying her down to eat. what happened?"

"womanhood happened," steve mumbled bitterly, rubbing his sides where you hit him this morning. apparently you had hit him hard enough to bruise a little. nat rolled her eyes in realisation. "period?"

"no, no, not period. satan's montly ritual inside of y/n. you should've seen her this morning, nat. it was like she was possessed!" steve exaggerates. "okay, let's not be dramatic here," bucky rolls his eyes at his best friend. steve only looked at him with fear in his eyes and bucky sighs. "fine, i'll do it. but if i don't return, tell sam he still can't have my snacks. no one can have my snacks."

nat only shakes her head before turning back to the stove to finish cooking lunch.

meanwhile, bucky was making his way up to your room. deep down he was scared to face you after your episode in the morning. "y/n/n? doll, it's lunch." he spoke when he entered your room. he melted when he saw you all snuggled up in bed, asleep, hugging your life-sized teddy bear that tony gifted you last christmas.

"doll? time to eat," he whispered, gently shaking you awake. you slowly opened your eyes to see bucky sitting on your bed, trying to wake you up from your nap. "what time is it?" you asked, rubbing your eyes, your lips jutting out subconsciously. bucky internally cooed at how adorable you looked. "it's afternoon, you skipped breakfast so nat wants you to eat lunch." he tells you.

"tell her i'm sleepy," you said, adjusting yourself back under the blanket. "y/n/n, you gotta eat. nat's gonna kill me if i go back down there without you." he shakes you again and you look up at him with you doe eyes. "then don't go back down. cuddle me, jamesie!" you pouted, giving him your best sad puppy look.

he had a brief internal battle with himself before losing and giving in, slipping next to you and hugging you, providing you warmth that even your blanket couldn't provide. bucky knew nat would have his head but how could he say no to that adorable face? and you using his real name? ultimate weakness.

soon, you were back asleep, cuddling up to him. he smiled down at you, loving how peaceful you seemed when you were sleeping. and before he knew it, he too fell asleep.

-

"what's taking him so long?" nat huffed and steve's jaw dropped slightly, looking at her in worry. "who's telling sam he can't have bucky's snacks?"

"don't be ridiculous, steve. go get them or i'm telling sam he can't have your snacks too." steve sighs, getting up from the barstool and making his way up to your room.

safe to say he was expecting pretty much anything but the sight of you and bucky asleep, cuddled up to each other. steve's lips jutted out and he cooed at you both. he snapped a quick picture before approaching you two, sitting on your bed beside your sleeping figure.

"y/n/n? sweetie, you need to eat." he says softly as he shook you awake. the shaking seemed to wake bucky up too and when your eyes fluttered open, steve smiled down at you. "bubba? it's lunch," he looks over at bucky in disappointment for having fallen asleep when he had a task. bucky only shrugs his shoulders as if saying 'hey man, i had no choice'.

"stevie?" you groaned out and he smiled. "come on, let's go have lunch, nat is waiting downstairs." he tries to get you to sit up but you resist. "come sleep, stevie," you pulled the same trick you did with bucky and it's no surprise the blond super-soldier fell for it too. everyone had a soft spot for you.

steve laid next to you and you're then sandwiched between two super-soldiers, already falling back asleep in just seconds.

"you know nat's gonna kill us, right buck?"

"then let her try. we can use y/n/n to get out of it. i mean, can you even recall the last time anyone said no to that adorable face?"

"sam says no to her sometimes."

"yeah but he always ends up feeling bad so,"

"okay yeah, you're right."

"that's exactly why we're stuck in this situation, right dear ol' stevie? so i say we just sleep and if nat tries to scold us, we'll technically be under y/n/n's protection because nat won't scream in our faces in front of her."

"good call. night, buck."

"night, steve."

-

"i can't believe i sent two super-soldier idiots to go wake up y/n on her period. i didn't think they meant it literally when they were afraid they weren't gonna come back." nat paces around the kitchen and wanda watches in amusement. it had been almost a whole hour since bucky was sent to get you and thirty minutes since steve was sent to do so too and both men hadn't returned with you for lunch.

"do you really think y/n/n is having a temper tantrum or something and those idiots are caught in the middle of it?" nat asks and wanda shook her head. "i doubt. y/n can get a little cranky but only if provoked. y/n on her period is overall a sweetheart like she always is. maybe steve was being annoying this morning. i mean, he always is annoying during morning jogs because he always has to announce when he overtakes us." wanda rolls her eyes at the fact.

"okay, you know what? come with me to get them. i mean with our joint forces, there's no way we're going to get sucked into whatever those idiots did. let's go,"

nat didn't give the younger woman a chance to reply before she's storming upstairs to your room and wanda had no choice but to rush along.

-

"well? are we going to wake them up or what?" wanda asks nat, not taking her eyes off the adorable sight she was met with right as she entered your room.

"i want to get mad at steve and bucky for not waking her up because she hasn't eaten yet but somehow i can't." nat states, looking like she's having an existential crisis.

"well, no lunch for these three, i guess. they better have dinner though or i'm actually going to get mad. let's go, wands." nat closes your door, but not before snapping a pic of you three cuddled up and sending it to the group chat.

nat: [attached photo]

peter: OMG SHE LOOKS SO TINY AND ADORABLE SQUISHED IN BETWEEN THOSE TWO 🥺🥺🥺

tony: IS THAT SAFE? CAN MY BABY EVEN BREATHE PROPERLY?????? NAT WHY ARE YOU JUST LETTING IT HAPPEN

wanda: stark, she's fine

thor: aw, i hope lady y/n gets all the rest she needs. she looks peaceful 🥰

clint: wait no fair i wanna cuddle her too 🥺😭

sam: dang it does this mean i still can't have bucky's snacks

bucky: stay away from my snacks.

-

"look who finally decided to show." you hear tony tease when you finally came down to dinner.

after waking up an hour prior, you woke up the two super-soldiers sandwiching you by pushing them off your bed. they couldn't even be mad at you when you had burst out in contagious laughter at your own stunt, before leaving to let you wash up.

"how are you feeling, sweetie?" bruce asks you as you sat in between him and tony on the dining table. "i'm good, bruce, why do you ask?"

"we've been hearin' a lot about you today, cupcake." tony winks at you before continuing to eat his food. you pout at him. "bad things?"

"no, no, no, not bad things, never bad things. you're the sweetest little cupcake and everyone loves you. now eat your food," tony pretends to make an angry face at you and you listen to him, smiling as you do so.

after dinner, you decided to lounge in the common room for a bit to watch tv and thor, clint, wanda and sam decide to join you.

"what are we watching?" sam asks as he plops down next to you on the couch. "i don't know, i'm kinda in the mood to watch my little pony." you quipped happily. "my little pony? that stupid ponies cartoon where the purple unicorn has magic and becomes a princess?"

"it's not stupid," you muttered under your breath, suddenly getting upset that he thought my little pony was stupid. "if you guys don't want to watch, i guess we can watch whatever you want." you told the rest who were already seated, a sad expression on your face.

"bubs! of course we want to watch it! right, sam?" wanda glares at sam as she asked him through gritted teeth. "y��yes! yes, we'll watch my little pony!" he replies quickly. "okay!" you cheer, leaning back against the couch as you turned the show on.

after an episode was done, you seemed to have gotten the others hooked on it because they asked for another episode. well, except for sam because he decided one episode was enough and it was time to sleep so he left.

"okay," you giggled, happy that they liked the show. "but i'm going to go get my snacks first." you walked to the kitchen to quickly get your bag of pretzels from the pantry. you were pretty sure it was the period moodswings that were causing your emotions to be all over the place because you cried. you cried because you were so excited to go get your snacks, only to find that it had been stolen.

you trudged back into the living room with a tear-stained face and wanda immediately stands up. "bubs, what's wrong?" she held both your shoulders as she looked down at you. you hiccup. "i–i think pete took my pretzel sticks." you pouted to try keep the incoming tears at bay but they managed to drop anyways.

"i'll kill him," clint stands up, hands held out in a fighting stance. "how dare he steal y/n/n's snacks." wanda rolls her eyes at his antics and gives him a look that tells him to back down.

"lady y/n," thor calls from his spot on the couch. you turn to him. "i have a stash of poptarts if you want?" he offered and as kind as his intentions were, you only wanted your pretzel sticks. you dropped down to the floor, staring silently into nothing.

"y/n," clint places a hand on your shoulder, trying to get you to get up but you didn't. you looked up at him with a small pout and glossy eyes and he cracked. "alright, thor, come with me to the grocery store. we're getting y/n/n's snacks,"

thor immediately gets up, following clint out the door. you couldn't believe that the avengers' own archer and god of thunder were willing to go out just to buy you snacks.

twenty minutes later, they came back with bags of different snacks but most importantly, your pretzel sticks. you ran to them, giving them the biggest hug you could give, prompting chuckles and hair ruffles from them. "anything for you, kiddo."

despite having just gotten your snack, you fell asleep ten minutes into the next episode and thor goes to carry you back to your room. he sets you down gently on your bed, pulling your blanket up so that you were warm.

"sleep well, lady y/n." he kisses the side of your head before leaving. and sleep well you did because you had an awesome family take care of you.

taglist <3

@amourtentiaa

[vowled]

Kill Your Darlings: An Analysis of its Twists and Themes

A few days ago, I watched Kill Your Darlings, and needless to say, I became completely mesmerized by it. Naturally credible characters with well-crafted backstories portraying a true story of Love, Obsession and Murder, it's everything a person could ask for in a movie. The colour palette of the movie radiates comfort and the sound track takes you back in time when these two bright young men were falling in love. Right from the start it was apparent that there were many themes in the undercurrent of the movie, and these were such that required some amount of thoughtful contemplation. And I was incredibly sorry to not find any post or review which critically discussed the themes of the movie and did it justice- so after doing some reading and digging up as much as I could, here I am making an attempt to analyze the twists and themes of the story.

The Crucial Plot-twist

The Night In Question- why the movie's recounting of the events is fictitious:

When faced with the prospect of writing the deposition for Lucian, Allen tried his best to gather information about the events that led to David's murder. However, it proved to be a difficult feat as Lucien himself would not speak much about it clearly. So he pieced together what he could from the bits of information he got. However, we see Lucian vehemently opposing the deposition written by Allen and claiming it to be false. After some thought, I find that I believe Lucian's claims. Most of the following arguments are rooted in the fact that Lucien's relationship with David was an abusive one, where David basically groomed Lucian and was a sexual predator. I suggest reading my post here to gain more insight about how the abuse affected him.

"You weren't there, you don't know what happened." These words right here- they're the words of a victim. Being subjected to a form of sexual abuse myself, I found these words hitting me like a brick ton. These are words coming from a pained soul that refuses to recount traumatic incidents. He's practically saying that the abuse was so bad he had to kill his abuser to be free from it.

Even after Allen saw first-hand what a total creep David could be, even after knowing the man had stalked Lucian across multiple cities, he had to ask Lucian why the latter killed David when he "could have run". This tells me he couldn't exactly relate to Lucian's situation and wasn't very keen on believing him. Although he displayed a moment of intimate affection, there's still a lingering feeling of yeah but he broke my heart inside him. After learning how Lucian drowned David, he even begins questioning if he should help him at all. At this point, Allen doesn't trust Lucian enough to actually care how accurate the story is. So he wrote what he could, what he felt right. But even he couldn't condemn his friend/first love to such a fate as prison, so eventually he submitted it as his final paper. In all honesty, I thought that turning it in was a brilliant move, and one which also further proved that the "once you loved him too" version was mostly fanciful fiction.

Throughout the movie, sequences have been played in reverse frames (and I found this so pleasing) and from the nitrogen-inhaling scene, we know that these sequences designated memories playing out in Allen's head or his subconscious creating dreamscapes. And here's the catch- the entire scene of Lucian taking a walk with David and eventually killing him began with frames played in reverse order. This gives the absolute proof that the movie's depiction of the events were fictitious.

Allen's P.O.V. of the events mainly relied on the argument that at some point, Lucian genuinely loved and needed David. This couldn't be further away from the truth. When you're 14 and and being groomed and coaxed by an older guy, a lot many things could feel like love because you haven't experienced them before; but in reality, it's never love, it just is another form of violence.

Themes running through the movie

"There can be no Creation before Imitation"

We see Professor Steves saying this at the beginning of the movie, hinting that it would be a theme in the story. This statement is reflected throughout Allen's progression and development as a poet:

In the beginning, we see him being hugely influenced by his father's works and possibly trying to imitate him through poetic devices such as consonance.

Next, we see him imitating Professor Stevens' style of writing in his poem "the rose that scents the evening air, grows from by beloved's hair" which Lucian outright criticizes.

It is only with the poem Allen recites to Lucian on the boat that he starts developing some sort of originality. That poem in particular is directly drawn from his personal experiences and delivers splendidly.

This development continues as he proceeds to write "The Night In Question" wherein he brilliantly describes his opinion of how things went down. It was this streak that would eventually propel him to write his most celebrated poem, "Howl".

The Circle of Life and How Allen Breaks it

We see Lucian telling Allen how "Life is only interesting if it is wide" and about Yeats' "Circle of Life". As displayed by the linked document, turns out the circle of life is quite complex a thing, and the movie displays a lay-man's version of it. As Lucian tells about it to Allen, unbeknownst to them both, Allen also enters the circle and changes the turn of events:

It is obvious that at the party at David's, Allen was a misfit. David even goes so far as to literally call him out and point how unremarkable he was, but says how given the correct circumstances, even Allen could change things. And what's extraordinary is exactly this happens next: the liquor runs out in David's party and Allen suggests they should change the venue of the party- hence hijacking David's party!

We see Allen's life widen as he becomes closer to Lucian and starts doing things he'd never done before. At the same time, he also plays an important role in changing Lucian's life as well. It's Allen who suggests at first that Lucian should break up with David and stop taking his help. Later in the movie, after learning about David's obsessive behaviour, it's again Allen that said "we should get rid of him". Again, here we see some foreshadowing. Allen could have worded it in any probable way, and yet he suggested getting rid of David which subtly implied killing him. I do believe that this happened to become a subliminal suggestion to Lucian and furthered his murderous intent.

Hence, although Lucian radically changes Allen's life, the latter does so too in unlikely and unexpected ways.

Sacrifices (and Rituals?)

Since the beginning of the movie, we know that the characters are all extraordinary men and that they are capable of something revolutionary. But it was apparent that all of them would need a catalyst to set things in motion- a sacrifice of some sort which would help them break their moulds and free their inner poet. Allen's love for Lucian and his wish to impress him did make him work toward become better at writing. It was the fear of completely losing Lucian to Jack that made Allen put all his effort into writing, and made him come up with his best work yet - here, the fear acted as the catalyst.

However, the most significant thing in connection to this happened in this scene where Lucian cuts both of their palms and holds them up together - this can be considered a Blood Ritual.

"A blood ritual is any ritual that involves the intentional release of blood. Blood rituals often involve a symbolic death and rebirth, as literal bodily birth involves bleeding. Basic to both animal and human sacrifice is the recognition of blood as the sacred life force in man and beast. The participants may regard the release of blood as producing energy useful as a sexual, healing, or mental stimulus. In other cases, blood is a primary component as the sacrifice, or material component for a spell."

The fact that this event took place inside Allen's head during a trippy session outlines how Allen had subconsciously taken a blood oath with Lucian to further The New Vision. This process of developing their revolutionary ideas would successfully progress for the rest of the movie; however, before its completion, the oath demanded a sacrifice- and the murder of David became this blood sacrifice.

"With Death comes Rebirth"

In the first half of the movie we see the initiation of this theme; after they've agreed upon to bring up something revolutionary, Allen talks about how rebirth comes only after death, and in their naivety, they play out a pseudo-suicide scene to imitate death. Little did they know greater sacrifices would have to be made. Eventually as events play out, we come to realise that it is David's death that became the cause and medium for their rebirth- both academic and intra-personal. Jack and Bill co-wrote the book "And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks" about the murder of David Kammerer, and eventually rose to fame, while Allen became popular with "Howl and Other Poems", none of which could have been initiated/inspired without David's death. As for their personal growth, none of them were the same as they were before the affair. I like to think all of them changed for the better. Lucian must have finally felt a sense of relief after getting rid of his abuser, while Allen finally took-off his rose-coloured glasses, saw Lucian under a more critical light, and developed a sense of self-esteem.

A Study in Violence (I was unsure whether to include this point in this analysis or not due to the violent nature of it. But I figure this analysis would remain incomplete should I leave it out. So here it goes..) The sequence from 1:10:00 to 1:12:00 was an in-depth survey of Violence and how it can occur in different forms. In particular, it focused on how any form of penetration is intimately violating.

We see a lonely Allen being so lost that he's about to have sex with a complete stranger. This itself is very unlike him, who in the beginning of the movie was shying away from Lucian kissing an unknown girl. A few sequences later we see how he wasn't very comfortable with this idea (he wanted to turn off the lights but the other guy turned them on) and yet he was made to shift into a position he did not prefer and hence was made to have rough sex.

We see Bill looking very solemn and injecting drugs into his hands.

We see the violent altercation between Lucian and David. We see David forcing himself on Lucian and eventually being stabbed by him.

We see Jack recieving the news of the death of his friend.

In this way, we see every member of the group being exposed to some form of violence, be it sex, drugs, physical altercations or death.

First Love and its aftermath First love is also an important theme of the movie as it shows how one's first love has the capacity to radically change a person from within:

Allen's first love changed him from the shy, people-pleasing always-upright persona to the bold, radical, critical and unafraid person he became at the end of the movie.

Allen's discovery of his own style of writing can also be majorly attributed to Lucian's criticism of his rhyme-schemes.

All in all, it was his love for Lucian that drove him to become a more out-going person and ignited the mischief in his spirit, while the heartbreak of realising Lucian didn't feel the same for him also lent him invaluable insight and allowed him to develop confidence and a sense of self-esteem, which would play a significant role in him eventually becoming his own person.

While Allen's first love furnished him with the overall better things in life, the same could not be said for Lucian, sadly. Lucian's first love reminded us how oppressive love can become if the other person isn't suited-well for us; it showed us how sometimes love and obsession are separated by a thin line, and how dangerous it becomes when the line is crossed.

Lucian's story also showed us how sometimes a relationship can be more abuse than love, and when that happened, how easy it became to confuse violence with love.

The most significant message that the theme of first-love portrays is that there will always be consequences.

With this, I bring my arguments and analyses to a close. I hope a future (or even past) lover of the movie happens to stumble upon this someday and learn something fascinating about the movie (or reignite their love for it). Thank you for reading this far!

[P.S. an uplifting fact: in real life, Lucian, Allen, Jack and Bill each got the type of life they wished for, and remained friends for the rest of their lives :) ]

[rowyn-writes]

Dying From a Broken Heart

Part Two of Confidence

Warnings: Violence, angst, language, arguing, blood, fluff

Pairings: Jack x Winchester!Reader

Characters: Jack Kline, Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, Castiel, Rowena, Eros, Reader

Word Count: 3.1k

Summary: While you and Jack are at the motel, you make a shocking discovery. You're not dealing with a pack of werewolves like you thought, but Eros, God of Love and Lust. You finally figure out the connection between Eros and the victims. . . Only to find out that you're next.

You and Jack were still doing research when Sam and Dean came back. "Okay, so get this." You said, turning around in your chair. "Every year, six people go missing and are found dead with their hearts torn out."

"A ritual?" Sam inquired.

"Exactly what I was thinking, dear brother." You grinned. "Now, big city like this, six missing people is something you'd hardly notice."

"Yeah, but why would a werewolf preform a ritual?" Dean asked.

"That's what Jack and I kept asking ourselves." You said, looking over at your boyfriend. "Why in the world would a Purebred werewolf need to preform some kind of ritual?" You stood up, rummaging around in your backpack for a book. You gave a triumphant smile as you held up your Greek Mythology book.

"Eros. God of Love and Lust." You opened the book to the page that was dedicated to the god.

"But their hearts were torn out." Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "What would Eros want with hearts?"

"It's a sacrifice for him." You informed the men. "Think about it. None of the vics had bites or even scratches. At first, I thought it was a Purebred werewolf because the attacks didn't line up with the lunar cycle. But the more I thought about it, the more that this makes sense. People used to worship Eros and make sacrifices for him, but now hardly anyone believes in him anymore. So Eros goes out and gets his own sacrifices."

Sam and Dean seemed impressed while Jack seemed proud. "Okay." Dean nodded. "That means that since he failed with the last victim, he's going kill again."

You tried your hardest to think of some kind of connection with all the deceased. You knew there had to be something in common since they were dealing with a god. They seemed to be picky with their sacrifices.

"What are you thinking about, Y/n?" Jack asked, resting his hand on top of yours, something that didn't go unnoticed by your brothers. Dean was about to say something when Sam stomped on his foot, earning a grunt from Dean.

"I'm trying to find the connection between everyone. Because I know there has to be one." You picked at a tear in your jeans while you tried to connect the dots.

Then it hit you like a ton of bricks. You stood up abruptly, startling the men in the room. "I know what Eros looks in for a sacrifice." You stated, grabbing your notepad to look at the stuff you had written down. "Everyone we interviewed said the victims just had a big announcement. The 55 year old man was celebrating his 30th anniversary with his wife, the 28 year old woman was newly engaged, the 45 year old man just started dating again after his wife died, and so on until the fifteen year old girl. She had just gotten her first girlfriend when she was attacked."

"What are you saying, Y/n?" Jack questioned.

"I'm saying that Eros is targeting people with an immense amount of pure love. That's what he's looking for!"

"Wow." Sam said, looking at his little sister in admiration. "That's genius, Y/n." He patted her on the shoulder, only to furrow his eyebrows. "What's that on your collarbone?"

You gave Sam a confused look as you headed to the bathroom. There, on your collarbone was a dark red circle. You sucked in a sharp breath.

"I know who the next target is." You told the men.

"Who?" Jack seemed worried by the look on your face.

"It's me."

.

. .

. . .

"How did this even happen?!" Sam exclaimed.

"I don't know!" You defended yourself, your voice raised slightly. "The whole time we were out I was with you guys. Jack and I never left the motel room while you two were gone."

"That is true." Jack nodded. "Y/n and I stayed in here and she agreed to be my girlfri-"

You put your hand over his mouth. "Now's not the time, babe." You could feel Dean glaring a hole through you and Jack.

"Okay, let's think about this for a second." You said, trying to calm everyone down. "Maybe this is a good thing."

"A good thing?!" Dean roared. "Y/n, how in the hell is this a good thing?!"

"Dean." Sam hissed, cuffing his brother. "Calm down and let Y/n talk." You threw Sam a grateful look.

"This way we can lure Eros out, and kill him. Apparently all it takes is a wooden stake dipped in lambs blood."

"I don't like this plan." Jack muttered.

"See! Thank you." Dean said, clearly pleased with the Nephilim.

"Jack-"

"No, Y/n. You're not going to put yourself in danger just to kill this god. I won't allow it."

"Oh for the love of-" You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. "Eros is coming for me either way. It's better to be prepared and have a plan rather than to just sit here and let him tear my heart out!"

"Don't talk like that!" Jack insisted angrily. You understood that he was worried about you, but you were a grown woman and could make your own decisions.

"It's inevitable, Jack." You said softly. "Eros will come for me. We know from the victims that he kills them 24 hours after being marked. I have maybe 18 hours at best."

Dean was furious. "This is your fault!" He growled at Jack. "You're the reason my baby sister is being targeted!"

Jack looked taken aback. "I didn't want this for Y/n." He said sincerely. "If I could trade places with her, I would."

"That's the problem!"

"Dean-" You started, only to get interrupted by your oldest brother.

"You think you're in love with her, but you're not! It's unnatural. Nephilim, they can't fall in love. All those stupid movies that Y/n and Sam let you watch made you think you're in love with her. You can't love Y/n."

You felt your throat close up, hurt by Dean's words. "Is it that hard to think someone could love me?" You whispered.

Dean's hard glare softened as his eyes landed on you. "Of course not, sweetheart. But Jack. . . He's not right for you."

"Oh, and you know what's best for me?" You growled. Your hurt turned to annoyance and anger.

"Yes, I do. I'm your brother."

Sam and Jack gave each other looks. It was bad when Sam and Dean argued, but when you and Dean argued, it was catastrophic.

"And John was my dad, and he never knew what was best for me! That doesn't mean anything!"

"Oh, so family doesn't mean anything to you?"

"Dean, come on man, you know that's not what she meant." Sam tried to reason.

"Stay out of it, Sam!" Dean yelled.

You could tell Sam was growing annoyed with Dean. His frown deepened, his eyes hardened, and his hand began to twitch.

"No! I won't stay out of it. I am tired of you mistreating Jack and Y/n!"

"Oh, I do not mistreat them!" Dean argued. "Jack, do I mistreat you?" Jack seemed uncomfortable being put on the spot. You knew he looked up to Dean, but Dean had also said some rather hurtful things about Jack.

While Sam, Dean, and Jack continued their argument, you were able to slip away unnoticed.

You were crying now, the thought of dying scared the crap out of you. And your brothers and Jack arguing didn't help the situation.

You looked around the parking lot, looking for something to hotwire. You came across a black Harley Davidson Dyna Super Glide Sport. And the dumbass was stupid enough to leave the keys in the ignition.

You started the engine, listening to the bike purr. You threw back the kickstand and began driving. You didn't know where you were going, all you knew was that you had to get out of there.

You weren't stupid, of course, you had your gun and a silver dagger just in case.

You planted both of your feet on the ground at a stop light. You were still crying, and you couldn't figure out why. You were just so angry.

You ended up stopping at a small dive bar outside of Little Rock. There were a total of ten people there, and most were men.

You flag down the bartender and order a beer. Around twenty minutes later, a man slide in the seat beside you. He said nothing as he ordered a drink. The man seemed so familiar to you, but you couldn't put your finger on it. He had curly, dark brown hair, and beautiful blue-grey eyes. He was handsome in all aspects of the word. But he was nothing compared to Jack.

"I've never seen you here before." He said to you.

"Oh, I uh - I'm just passing through." You gave him a tight smile.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You grabbed it, looking down to see that Dean's as calling you. You sent him to voicemail, something that was bound to piss him off.

"Guy troubles?" The man inquired.

"More like brother troubles." You laughed. "I'm Y/n, by the way."

"Elliott." He smiled, showing off a gleaming row of white teeth. "So, what's going on with your brother?"

"Brother's, actually. They treat me like a baby, just because they're older than me."

"That's what brothers are supposed to do." Elliott shrugged. "They're supposed to look out for you, protect you." Your phone rang again, this time, it was Sam. You sent him to voicemail as well and put your phone on silent.

"Yeah, I guess." You agreed. "But -" You cut yourself off, not wanting to dump all your feeling onto this random stranger.

"But what?" He asked, curious to what your response was.

"There's this guy, this amazing, wonderful, sweet and funny guy. He cares about me, and I care about him, but my oldest brother, he thinks we shouldn't be with each other." You confessed, taking a sip of your beer.

"Is he respectful towards you?" You nodded. "He cares about you and treats you right?" You nodded once more. "Then what's the problem?"

"I don't know." You mumbled. "My brother just doesn't trust him, even though he has no reason not to."

"Call it a brother's intuition." Elliott grinned. You blinked as your vision began to blur. "Hey, you okay?" You let out a slurred response. "Let's get you some air." Elliott helped you out of your chair and outside. You felt the cold air nip at your cheeks, making you feel a thousand times better.

Your head began to spin, the world shifting around you. "I don't feel so well." You groaned. Your body went limp, and the last thing you felt was a pair of strong arms wrapping around you to keep you from falling.

.

. .

. . .

"Guys!" Jack yelled over Sam and Dean, trying to catch their attention. "GUYS!" Jack's eyes flared orange, finally getting Sam and Dean to stop arguing. "Where's Y/n?"

Sam and Dean looked around the room frantically. Jack looked into the bathroom and found nothing. "Damnit!" Dean growled. "How could she have left without us noticing?!"

"Well, you and Sam were rather angry, I think it was very easy for her to slip away." Dean glared at Jack.

"So help me God, if a single hair on her head is out of place, all hell will break loose, and it'll be on you." Sam sighed, shaking his head.

Dean dialed your phone number, looking apprehensive. "Y/n, I swear if you sent me to voicemail on purpose, I am going to kill you! Answer me, damnit!"

"Let me try." Sam mumbled. "Y/n, please call and let us know you're okay. We're worried."

"I can find her." Jack said hopefully. He closed his eyes, searching for any sign of you. He saw you sitting next to a guy in a bar, he saw the man put something in your drink, and he saw you pass out outside of the bar.

Jack grew angry. He knew what happened to you was wrong, he could feel you were in distress. "She's in trouble."

.

. .

. . .

"Wakey wakey, sunshine!" Elliott cheered as he threw water on your face. You gasped, bolting awake. You found that you were bound in a chair, the thick rope cutting into your skin. You looked around to see that you were in some kind of a abandoned building.

You were relieved to see that you still had on all your clothes. "I was worried for a second. I thought I might have given you too high of a dose for your body."

"You roofied me." You groaned.

"I did! But you have to understand, Y/n, I would have never gotten you out of there otherwise. You're one of the strongest sacrifices I've ever had."

"Eros." You said in realization.

"Ding ding ding! We have a winner!" Eros almost seemed happy by the situation. "You are going to be one of the best sacrifices I've had. A hunter with a strong heart full of compassion and pure love. The perfect candidate."

"Please," You whimpered. "Let me go."

Eros sucked in a breath, faking remorse. "You see, I wish I could. . . But I can't. I need you. Ever since the last sacrifice escaped, I've been looking for a new one. And then your brother's, boy wonder and you roll into town. I knew as soon as I saw you that you were perfect. Almost too perfect."

You felt a tear slip down your cheek. "Please. I don't want to die. I'm only 21, there's so much things I haven't done yet. Let me live." You pleaded.

"I was hoping you'd say that." Eros grinned, pulling up a chair in front of you, sitting with his chest on the back of the chair. "I was actually looking for a wife." He gave you a wicked grin that made you squirm in your seat. "I need an heir, or heiress, I don't discriminate. I just want someone to pass my powers off to, to teach. So, I can let you live if you agree to be my wife."

"Rot in hell." You spat, disgusted by the thought of marrying Eros. He grew annoyed, as he punched you, your head snapping back.

"That's too bad." Eros shook his head. "But, at least I'll get to enjoy killing you."

You watched in horror as Eros' fingernails grew into sharp, claw-like hands, almost like a werewolves. You screamed in pain as he drew his finger over your face. "Shh, shh, love. It's gonna be okay." You gave out a small cry, struggling against the ropes.

"The more you struggle, the more it's going to hurt." Eros said in a singsong voice.

You began whispering apologies in your head, to Sam, Dean, Jack, Cas, Rowena, everyone. There were so many unfinished words, so many unsaid 'I love you's,'

"I'm sorry." You whispered. You screamed out once more as Eros dug his nails into your chest.

"Y/N!" You heard Dean yell. Sam, Dean and Jack appeared from behind a crate, your brothers carrying guns, and we'll, Jack himself was a weapon.

"Ah, ah, ah." Eros grinned wickedly. "I am holding her life in the palm of my hand; literally. So put down those shiny guns, and step away from them." Sam and Dean looked at each other. Eros scowled as he dug his nails deeper into your skin. You cried out in pain, feeling his nails getting closer to your heart.

"Alright! Alright!" Sam said hastily, setting down his gun and stepping away, encouraging Dean to do the same.

You were quite the sight for the men. You had blood coating your clothes, a bruised eye from the blows that Eros landed earlier, your hair was a mess and you face was streaked with tears.

"Get away from her!" Jack bellowed.

"Oh, look, it's your lover boy." Jack's words only made Eros angrier, as he retracted his hand, and swiped his claws over your face, creating four long gashes.

"I said get away from her!" Jack's eyes began to glow orange, and he trembled with anger. Eros looked frightened as he was sent flying back into the wall.

Sam and Dean surged forward, both carrying a wooden stake dipped in lambs blood, while Jack went to help you.

"It's okay," He whispered. "I've got you." You gave out a small whimper as he cut the ropes. "Can you stand?" You tried to stand up with the help of Jack, but your knees buckled beneath you. Jack scooped you up in his arms. You buried your head in his chest, turning away from you brothers, who were currently killing Eros.

"Take me home." You mumbled before darkness enveloped you.

.

. .

. . .

When you awoke, you were in your bed at the bunker, surrounded by Cas, Sam, Dean, Jack and Rowena.

"Y/n." Dean breathed a breath of relief as he hugged you. You winced in pain, your body still sore from you attack. "I am so sorry. I never should have said those things to you. I'm so glad you're okay."

"It's okay, Dean." You assured him. Even though you said you were fine, there was still pain swimming in his eyes.

"We couldn't heal your wounds with magic," Rowena informed you. "Since Eros was the one to injure you, it will have to heal naturally. I did make you some herbs that will stop the pain, however."

"Thanks, Rowena." You smiled. The room began emptying out, everyone wanted to let you rest. Jack, however, didn't leave your side.

"I'm sorry, Y/n." He whispered.

"Why are you sorry?" You asked, squeezing his hand.

"I let you get hurt. I should have gotten there sooner." You saw there were tears in his eyes. You frowned as you scooted over.

"Come lie beside me." Jack hesitantly climbed into the bed, pushing aside the covers. You wrapped your arms around his middle and rested your head on his chest. "You got me out of there when you did. I'm okay, and that's all that matters."

"But-"

You cut Jack off with a kiss. "I don't want to talk about it anymore." You mumbled, cupping his cheek. "I just want you to hold me."

"I can do that." Jack nodded, pulling you closer to his body. You decided to put on a movie as you and Jack cuddled. Halfway through the movie, you ended up falling asleep. Jack didn't sleep that often, but he felt so at peace that he fell asleep as well.

When everyone came to check on you again, their hearts melted at the sight of you and Jack. "Oh, just look at them." Rowena whispered to the men. "They're so cute."

"Yeah," Dean nodded. "They are."

.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Tag List: @mila-dans @blairrrose

[amphiptere-art]

Ok. I'm finally back home. And now I have the chance to rant. Now I'm going to put a cut. Because there is no doubt that I'm probably going to accidentally do spoilers.

But I'm going to generally tell how I was in the theater though. Which was terrified. There was of course like the calm moments in the main character's house and stuff. And those were great to chill in. And then there was all the other scenes in the diner. And I was holding my mom's hand the entire time hidden underneath a blanket.

Like I said up top. I think I sprained my finger a couple of times with a couple of the jump scares. I feel like my mom is going to get bruises. Every jumpscare had me gripping, and every building of tension had me tapping my fingers rapidly in it anxious ritual. Usually curled up on my side in the fetal position with a blanket tucked tightly around me.

I will say the whole movie though was really good. At least for fans. A whole ton of Easter eggs for you to enjoy. Plus scenes build up in the right places. And before I get too far I'm going to cut.

So now that I have cut the screen so I may do my spoilers part. There's a good chance I'm just going to release the entirety of the plot. Whether that be in scattered brained writings or in a perfect one-to-one ratio. Kind of depends on the rant. But this is your last warning. I am a spoiler heavy person and you are going to learn a lot more than you wanted.

Now. Mike is of course a character. With his sister. Yes the kid is a sister. Goes jobs hunting and goes gets a shady job. Shady job being five Nights at Freddy's security guard. Yada yada yada he has a weird dream theory thing where he's trying to control his dreams. So he's really just sleeping at the job. Making contact with ghosts. Which are apparently Abby's friends. Like the fake friends but they're ghosts. They're also not stuck in the pizzaplex if that is so. Anyways for the most the time Mike's pretty safe. Although the opening scene is basically just showing how security guards get murdered. With the whole spiky mask. But He's basically safe until he makes the animatronics angry because they want Abby. Dun dun dun. Basically Mike is trying to figure out where his brother went. Who was kidnapped as a kid. That's what the whole dream thing is about. He's trying to dream up more details. Those kids are stopping that and also making deals with him because they know about his brother. There's some people who want to get Abby from Mike. That being his aunt and a couple of hitman? Basically some bad folks who are getting money from the aunt to try and ruin Mike's life. They all die to the animatronics in the appropriate rooms with appropriately awesome fashions. There's Freddy eating off a head. Chica's in the kitchen. Bonnie's in his closet. It's really fun. Plus they get stuffed into suits. There's a sparky suit. Like that one prank dog from the first game. For lots of other little cool Easter eggs like that but I'm not going to list them all off. Vanessa's there is a police person not a security guard. She is apparently William afton's daughter. Who might have lived alongside Mike's brother before they got murdered. Anyways yeah William Afton is here. He's the guy who hired Mike. He's apparently either killing security guards for funsies, or just to keep their mouth shut if they ever do figure out that the animatronics have children in them. He might also still be killing children I don't know. It's kind of not explicitly said why he's doing things. He's just kind of there. He does get springtraped though. There's a whole big final ending where Mike is trying to get his daughter who was led away by Golden Freddy. He goes into the pizza place to save his daughter. By the way the daughter's an idiot at the time because she made friends with the animatronics. Like they were already her friends. She just got to play in like their real life versions. But like Afton can control those versions. It's not really said how. Other than the fact that is a drawing. And then the little girl draws a new drawing. Showing like the truth. And all the animatronics turn around. Make the spring locks in the suit go off. And then he dies in a very spring-trap-like fashion. Getting locked in the closet. Still a twitching. A lot of the gore scenes were okay. We're talking about the poor person who can barely look at the screen. I would say the worst one was with Freddy. Just gets dragged into Freddy's mouth and then chopped in half. Cupcake malls the other guy. Bonnie just kind of beats somebody to death. Honestly the most boring thing. Foxy does a lot of catching. I don't think he actually kills anyone. He just corners and catches them. Although he does have a wonderful dream jumpscare and slashes the protagonist a lot. I'm running out of things to rant about. So that's the end of this rant for now.

I guess I'm seeing the fnaf movie. Wish me hope to last through the horror. I won't have data so I will be silent until I get home. Off to see a bunch of moving mascots.

[festivecuriosity]

[October 13, 2020]

♡ Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is happening tonight. I can already feel/see it's influence. It also doesn't help matters that my current household is primarily made up of Scorpios or Plutonian individuals (most of my roommates are "essential workers" like EMTs or caretakers). Brad (the most Scorpio of the house) has called for a rare consideration; that there be silence in the living room (communal space) when he comes home. He's never asked for that before. This feels very symbolic of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. A moment of silence in our otherwise very talkative household. Besides that, he's coming home right around the time MRX/Scorpio would be officially beginning.

♤ Identifying omens is part of my practice. It's one of my oldest, foundational, cornerstones of how I communicate with the Universe and my guides. When you notice something (really notice it) to the point that it stands out in your mind and you end up thinking on it all day, it is an "omen". A symbolic representation of the message the Universe is sending you. I was given an omen by the Universe yesterday as to the immediate future/Mercury RX in Scorpio. I was outside (smoking) when I saw a hawk soaring in the air, being pursued by two black crows, and navigating around their assaults. The hawk (personally) represents my spiritual vision/focus/accuracy. The two crows, I believe, represented thoughts that attack my focus. I.e. Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory. Although, Huginn and Muninn are technically ravens. Not crows. I still think the message from the Universe is to tame my PTSD/where my mind goes/stay focused on my goals instead of letting my negative thoughts pick at me.

Also kind of reminds me of the qliphothic sphere/inverted sphere of Netzach. Where the "crows" pick at the beauty of Source. Another reminder to keep my inner criticism from attacking my spiritual focus/my ability to see the beauty in my life and self.

Two other people in the household got omens on the same day as me. One person got a vulture eating roadkill on the side of the road, the other got a brown cricket. Since the vulture means rebirth and ressurection through shadow work, I think the household is going through a transitional phase (what affects one person in the house typically touches all of us). I am not certain on the brown cricket, however. Good luck? What struck me the most about it was that my roommate was trying to catch it...and it always knew when to hop away just in the nick of time.

♧ I've been rearranging/unpacking my boxes from Seattle finally. For a long time now, I've just been living out of boxes, and refusing to do much magic. I didn't even set up my altar when I got all my stuff back from [Redacted abuser]. It's taken awhile to even get myself back to directly communicating with my guides...much less the Universe/Source. Anyways, I'm finally going through my boxes, and setting up an official altar area. When I was getting into my old rock and crystal collection (I was into that stuff way back before I realized how harmful the crystal/gemstone trend is for Earth's environment), I found an old piece of Mookaite that I friend gave me. And I shit you not, the thing physically vibrated in my hand when I touched it.

I've been holding it ever since. Have totally and honestly forgotten all the exact properties of the stones I own. It's been such a long time. I was also practicing "crystal/crystal energy psychicism" when I was homeless as a means to survive the streets so...I'm pretty sure my PTSD is blocking a lot of that information out.

I guess it's time to rediscover crystals again? Not buying any new ones. Just utilizing the ones I already have to the best of my ability. I feel like it was wrong that so many of them were taken from the ground to be pretty baubles for people. I might as well make it worth something by using them to help myself/others/incorporate them into my active life so they hold meaning.

Mookaite feels very grounding and soothing already. It feels like a very receptive stone, inviting energy into it much like organic pearls do. I also notice that it has almost a dream/trance-like affect to it's grounding energy. I think maybe I'll take time to meditate with it tomorrow.

◇ Brad pretty much runs the household that I live in. Further details; I live in a BDSM polycule, Brad is one of the doms. One of Brad's relationships was very close to being homeless recently. While normally, being homeless is... [redacted PTSD disassociating moment] being non-binary and homeless during COVID-19 is even worse. So we took them in. Inevitably, we had to make some major adjustments (about space, because technically we're fitting 9 people in a 2 bedroom house). It's been a test of adaptability through chaos for everyone. One of the major areas of contention is that everything inside the house is getting moved, rearranged, or tossed. And some people (mainly [redacted name]) is absolutely 100% terrible at adapting to change, unless someone is literally dying. Also, while I get that none of this can really be helped, I'm also a bit annoyed by the sudden introduction of someone new.

But even if I'm annoyed by it, I wasn't about to say "no" when Brad told us what was going on. I'm not a monster. I was homeless too and Brad helped me get off the streets. This person, while I don't know them well enough to make a judgement, deserves the same chance that I did to get stable in an era where stability is a pipe dream.

I'm actually not the one having the hardest problem. Surprising, it's the spirit of the house that's having the hardest problem. Our house is an old 1950's model built at the corner of a crossroads. Technically the house kinda exists as a liminal space. And there's so much stuffed inside of it that theoretically anything *could exist* in the house. Sometimes weird shit pops up and then disappears. It's very similar to the Seattle house I lived in when I was with [KILL BILL SIRENS] but has less of a metaphorical underworld cave vibe and more of a Howl's Moving Castle vibe. Anyways, the house itself is having a bad time adjusting to all the change/cleaning that the new roommate is doing...because it keeps hiding and moving (specifically) all the stuff that the new roommate has. They're not a stoner. They have a decently good memory. And I know that nobody in the house would do something like that. Plus, they apparently heard disembodied laughter right after discovering something was missing. The genuis locci (house spirit) is fucking with 'em hard.

I've never seen the genius locci do this before. The worst it ever did to me was hide a really expensive Egyptian cotton pillow case once. It eventually spat it back out after cuddling with it, I imagine. Seriously; Egyptian cotton sheets. Get you some.

So after the 100× time today that the new roommate was swearing about their missing things, I suggested that maybe they need to butter up the genius locci with gifts. Kinda romance the house a bit. Give it something so that it builds a relationship with the spirits that live here. They're a (self-professed) baby witch whose background is Jewish. They mostly excel at kitchen witchery (for now) and incorporating the works and wisdom of the Torah into their life. So they weren't too certain on ritualistic offerings to a house spirit. But with some suggestions from me and listening to their own intuition, they were able to put something quick together. It's nice to see people using magic around the house and learning new skills. And to their benefit, I felt the house chill out a bit after the ritual/gift giving was done.

I have been giving the house/my guides a portion of my nightly tea every now and then. It's honestly nothing fancy but I figure small gifts count for something right?