firebastardextraordinaire

[firebastardextraordinaire]

wanna crack his ribcage open and live in it forever but its casual

[firebastardextraordinaire]

In terms of the 'Durge being born of the mana forge, and thus all Bhaalspawn grafted into one concentrated Bhaal godling' theory; this would mean that Durge is a giant melting pot of several lineages, and what if Durge was all the races and they just pick what shape they want out of the list? The blood of Corellon and Yondalla is in there, as well as the mark of Moradin's crafts, the blood of dragons...

Human, elf, dwarf, halfling, gnome, orc, dragon, fey, giant... each and every subrace and mix and match, all of these just bundled up into one divine murder machine. They just prioritise the shape they like best. (It would save me wanting to make and explore different Durges but being unwilling to change my 'canon' one.)

[firebastardextraordinaire]

I am of personal belief that at any point Bhaal could give my cis male Durge ability to get pregnant but he doesn't because he is not polluting his gene pool with Gortash's filth

[firebastardextraordinaire]

I'm out here on a blanket so malice can Touch Grass or whatever and I gotta say

She sucks at this.

[firebastardextraordinaire]

type of shit I've been on as of late

[firebastardextraordinaire]

some idiot: im hetrosexual which means i only get aroused by members of the opposite sex

me a genius: ive conditioned myself to go into heat whenever i shoplift to enhance my operational awareness

[firebastardextraordinaire]

you know the funniest thing about the pokemon fandom is that everyone i know is currently SO EXCITED they didn't announce gen 10. like everyone else i know who is a pokemon fan is going "LET'S GO THEY DIDN'T ANNOUNCE A NEW GAME!!! LEGENDS IS IN THE HOLIDAY SLOT SO THEY PROBABLY CAN'T ANNOUNCE IT LATER FOR THIS YEAR!!! IT WON'T BE UNTIL NEXT YEAR!!! LET'S GO!!!" and, well, that perhaps says something about,

[firebastardextraordinaire]

CHIVALROUS AND SINGLE KNIGHTS IN YOUR FIEF WANT TO PLEDGE THEIR FEALTY TO YOU‼️ CLICK HERE NOW‼️‼️

[firebastardextraordinaire]

Idk man I just feel that Durge and The Wanderer (from Diablo 4) should fuck nasty to block out the god of murder/demon lord of hatred in their brains urging them to commit violent atrocities. Is that too much to ask???

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IVE ONLY TRIED MAGES SO FAR IS THAT WHY YOU SAY BUY MULTIPLE DAGGERS?? NICE TO KNOW!

Sarevok's only true crime in life was the Iron Crisis. The agony of the early game where bladed weapons and metal armour is useless because they dissolve into dust every five seconds is infuriating.

'You killed my father.'

Fuck that motive: you killed my longsword. Repeatedly. We have to either hit our opponents with sticks or fists!

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Xzar: 'A child wandering the wilderness? Surely you must be none too bright to be travelling these roads.' Montaron: 'And ye look a bit scuffed, too. A fine pair of troubles on your own.' Xzar: 'Indeed. I can offer you healing potions, if you wish, as a token of goodwill.' Imoen: 'Psst, Solath, the mage speaks like he's layin' honey on bread, but I dunno... I don't like his eyes a single bit!'

What are you on about Imoen, the very obviously shady characters we were warned about further down the road who are clearly Zhentarim spies worshipping the villain who usurped our father and would want us dead, and presumably are old enough to have worshipped the previous tyrannical douchebag who got our father killed are perfectly trustworthy. Look, they're giving us healing in a transparent attempt to guilt trip us. I don't know why you would say that.

Besides, Montaron is going to teach me his battlecry ('Here comes halfling death' - but as a daughter of Bhaal, I do it better.)

(Actually, in fairness, on my first playthrough I did not realise that these two were evil and felt very awkward afterwards.)

[firebastardextraordinaire]

The best way to start up BG1 is to use all the money you get for equipment on nothing but daggers and booze. Maybe then go drunkenly stab the sleeping people upstairs and visiting nobles to death and steal their money to buy more daggers and booze.

Father would be proud, and is probably whispering this advice into their subconscious.

[firebastardextraordinaire]

Man. I feel the need to draw Vinari again. Design a couple outfits for her for when she’s in incognito mercenary mode, Bhaalist hunting mode, and casual Definitely Just Your Totally Normal Average Citizen Mode but god at what cost

[firebastardextraordinaire]

'If Bhaal is ever resurrected, it will be in the shadow of Boareskyr Bridge.' - Faiths and Avatars

I mean, he was resurrected quite far away from it, actually.

On the other hand, I believe Siege of Dragonspear had Bhaalspawn interact in interesting ways when brought into contact with that water (I think Charname relieves Bhaal's death). I tend to disregard Siege of Dragonspear, but I'll take that.

Also, for Bhaal's carved 'flesh,' while Bioware is a little off here (because the flesh wasn't Bhaal's, per se (and also that body kind of exploded in a bomb of divine essence), and it's that divine essence that dissolved into the river and poisoned it):

Next, [the Bhaalspawn wanting to prove to Ao that they deserve daddy-dearest's old job] must recover a piece of its father's mortal flesh; either from the body that lies within the Winding Water where Bhaal was killed during the Time of Troubles... - Dragon Magazine #288

So if the waters qualify as Bhaal's 'flesh' and Durge is 'one grafted from Bhaalian seed [i.e. made using a Bhaalspawn sired the usual way],' an interesting way to do that graft - that would enable Bhaal to perform an act of creation otherwise impossible from beyond the grave, and meet 'Bhaal will be resurrected in the shadow of the bridge' - could be to baptise a Bhaalspawn in the Winding Waters.

(Read: Bhaalist baptisms may-or-may-not be what those outside the faith would call 'drowning.')

Failing that, Durge was somehow born (or material for the graft was collected) when Charname came into contact with the water. Somehow.

[firebastardextraordinaire]

Spoilers for Prince of Lies...

I know Cyric gets a lot of flak for the whole Cyrinishad incident, but I sympathise with him because if I'd just written my Awesome Autobiography that makes me look super cool and makes anyone who reads it think I really am that awesome, I also would not be able to resist reading it myself.

Like, I think "As the creator of this artifact, surely I'll be immune to its effects" is not an unreasonable assumption. Thing is, though - even if I knew there was a risk, I would STILL be tempted. Like before the compulsion ever had a chance to take hold.

Like if you've gone to the effort of writing a novel, you're gonna want to read it! He's only been dictating, what, a chapter or two at a time? If that were me, you can bet I'd want the experience of reading it start to finish. No way am I gonna be the only one who's not read my own Magnum Opus.

So yeah, everyone's going "Haha look he read his own magic book" and I'm just like, "Yeah no that would be me".

[firebastardextraordinaire]

I mean…… I can KINDA see Bhaal and Oghma getting along in one respect only: the advancement of anatomy knowledge! Because that IS useful information for a cult of murderers to know! Aside from that I got nothing

And in other self-indulgent OC moments: I don't know how Bhaal and Oghma get along, but I suspect that from all I have seen of Bhaal he is not a man who prizes learning or is prone to reading. So reclassing Solath to be a cleric of Oghma could be funny (and works, because Candlekeep)

One of the other gods of knowledge could work. Deneir could also be funny: One might be naturally inclined to serial killing, but it doesn't mean you can't take a few hours out of your day to teach an orphan to read! (Charname isn't necessarily as homicidal as Durge, and so you can't prove she made that orphan herself.)

Or go Sorlyn! Milil meets Vel and tries for 'seduce the Bhaalspawn into joining your faithful, round 2' - while Bhaal throws daggers at him in indignation.

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Good point! I also hc that both Bhaal and Myrkul prefer/tolerate Shadow Sorcerers over other kinds because they’re ALSO in that weird grey area between life and death similar to but not quite the same as the undead. I mean, their magic comes from the same negative energy that powers the undead, and it’s really REALLY easy to mistake them for being dead, so!

Tbh that’s actually the backstory for one of my OCs. Shadow sorcerer that got mistaken for stillborn and subsequently brought to the local myrkulites for funeral arrangements who took one look at the corpse baby and went, “oh cool free new recruit!”

Whenever I hear Harvest by Nightwish I always think: 'This is what they'd play at Bhaalist Youth Groups.' Possibly co-hosted with the local Myrkulites. Just a religious guy with a guitar singing cheerful songs about how the entirety of humanity is destined to die! Yay! I don't know which of them is doing the electric guitar and drums, or the bagpipe for that matter, could be either.

God, I hope they don't actually have those. And yet at the same time I do, precisely because it's a horrible idea.