#he was saying some pretty fucked up stuff and he tried to play “my cousin is trans” card

[thereluctantfollower]

Quick mention

Seeing how people are noticing Verbalase's video I posted. I'm aware of the fake drama spewed by people on twitter.

How I'm seeing it, with critical thinking skills & trust issues:

Discord screenshots can be faked. You know how there's meme generators? Well there's discord one too. And Verbalase (As someone who followed him years ago) never once mentioned a discord server.

Video was a distraction to simply bash on HH series, with real transphobic people mislabeling Charlie. The blonde demon girl that chases after Verbalase. Charlie is Bisexual. They exist. They can date either men or women or BOTH! Poly relationships exist.

If someone wanted to spend 50k on self insert animation, poorly done as that one going around. They are welcome to it. That one however was heavily traced. Someone used HH pilot video scene by scene to trace over.

Real focus was those discord screenshots of Verbalase being transphobic and all. Just a general ignorant asshole basically. Again, they can easily faked and he never once mentioned a discord server that I know. And I followed this guy YEARS ago. Lazily keeping up to date to his vids.

If this turns out to be true, which I doubt majorly, no one should be using "Well im friend with trans, gays, and lesbians" card, thinking they are safe from a general asshole towards anyone within lgbtq+ community. If you say anything harmful towards lgbtq+ community at all, you get blocked for life. I don't care who you are. You are no one's friend. Get educated or go play in traffic.

[ghostgirl-22]

artrick phone sex

I gotchu, my love <3

CW: 18+ !NSFW! First time dynamics, angst, Art has avoidance issues like me.

Apologies this may be too long and full of my own personal angst I fear.

—-

“Art?” It’s Patrick.

Art feels his stomach sinking and now he wishes he’d avoided his call, again. He rolls over on his bed and looks at the sparsely decorated wall of his dorm room. It’s his first time talking to Patrick since… since…

He shivers and tries to put it out of his mind.

“Hey,” Art says and clears his throat. “What’s up?”

Patrick chuckles.

Art shivers again. Did his voice always sound that way? Or is Art just crazy still? He’s been really crazy lately. It’s been two weeks and he’s still…

“Really? What’s up?” Patrick mimics. “That’s all you have to say?”

Art shrugs for the benefit of no one but himself. “What—um— what’s wrong with that?”

“Oh I don’t know…” Patrick hums and then he sighs. “Okay fuck it. I’ll go with it. Are you okay?”

Art is still anxious, his stomach still uneasy. It’s just Patrick. His oldest and closest and best friend and yet he can’t relax. He can’t settle down and they're just talking on the phone. He can’t imagine seeing him in person when he inevitably shows up to Stanford again to watch Tashi play. Everything is different now.

“I’m fine, Patrick.” He lies.

“But you don’t want to talk to me?” Patrick sounds weird. Worried? A little. Disappointed? Probably. Sad? Definitely.

Art sighs, he doesn’t want Patrick to be sad. “No I— I’ve just been busy. We had finals last week. And um…. practice has been crazy. I’m um… I started seeing this girl and—” he hears Patrick huff a laugh but barrels through, ignoring it. “Sorry I missed your calls.”

“And texts,” Patrick adds.

“I’m sorry,” Art says again.

They’re quiet for a while. Art turns back to look at the tv. He was watching Sports Center, they were talking about gymnastics. Apparently there had just been some kind of qualifier competition.

“Who’s this new girl your seeing?” Patrick asks. This time Art can’t tell what his tone is.

“Uh well she’s nice, pretty. She’s actually not on the team. She’s an English major.”

“Sounds hot,” Patrick says, flatly.

“Yeah, she’s um— she’s nice,” Art says. “Are you—are you high?”

“A little. I won’t lie. Me and the buddy I was telling you about we smoked a couple and then went and got tacos and Margaritas. So fucking good. Who knew Dallas was a food town?”

Art laughs. He begins to relax, this feels more like best friend stuff. Maybe he was overreacting. Avoiding him for two weeks. But of course that wasn’t the only reason Art was avoiding him. “What happened to your match?”

“Uh well— I lost again. This shit is so fucking rigged.” Patrick complains.

“Dude that fucking sucks,” Art says. He sits up on his bed and looks around for his own weed stash.

“Yeah, it’s fine though. I’m going against this guy tomorrow, stats are all over the place but I think I can take him.”

“Whats his name?”

“Moussa or Mousso… I can’t remember but he’s French. Kinda hot, actually.”

Art feels his stomach flip flop again. “Uh… so what about Tashi?”

“She’s good, she actually answers my calls. I mean not tonight but she told me her cousin would be in town so…”

”Do you want me to beg for forgiveness or something?” Art says, smirking.

Patrick takes a breath and doesn’t say anything while Art is rummaging through the bottom drawer of his night stand. He finds the baggy he was looking for and sits up on the bed, legs crossed as he opens it.

“I’m sorry but I was honestly busy.” Art adds when Patrick still hasn’t said anything.

“Are we ever gonna talk about it?” Patrick asks.

Art stops moving. His stomach begins doing all kinds of things again.

“Look I don’t want to… I don’t want it to be weird,” Patrick continues. “I can do whatever you need. If you want me to pretend I didn’t fuck you… okay fine. But you have to talk to me because I’m going fucking crazy.”

Art stares at the television but he’s not seeing anything. He gives up on the weed and tosses it on the nightstand. “Yeah um… okay.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing,” Art mutters. “I’m— we can talk.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“No,” Art says. “I—“ he lays back down on his side and looks at the wall, pulling his knees up. He wishes with everything in him that they hadn’t done it in here. In his fucking bed.

He’s got it on a loop playing in his head all the time. Patrick crawling between his legs. The way he looked, hair still damp from the shower, freckles all over, pupils too big, blue eyes all sparkly. How he smelled, like vanilla soap and cigarettes. What he sounded like, voice so much deeper and softer than normal, saying stupid things like “You’re so fucking pretty”, “Gonna make you scream my name,” and then moaning when he got it in.

And how it felt.

God.

How it felt.

That’s the part that stays with him. How much it hurt. And then how much it didn’t hurt at all. By the end Patrick was touching something inside him and he was seeing stars. In between consciousness and some other plane of existence is how good it felt. That was the silly part. Feeling like he wanted it again and again and again.

He let Patrick do it again in the morning. Patrick’s arms wrapped around his waist fucking him on his side while he stared at this wall his whole body blooming with pleasure. And then just sitting with it for the rest of the day. The ache. The stretch. The feeling like everyone could tell. Patrick left that afternoon for the airport, sent Art a text. Well that was fun. Which he ignored. Called him that evening. Also ignored.

Art had been trying to avoid thinking about it ever since (it was impossible). He’s thrown himself into school, tennis, he’s even tried to talk to a new girl. It didn’t go anywhere. In his worst moments he’s even tried to flirt with Tashi. But then he remembers she’s fucking Patrick and his mind swings right back around to the way Patrick fucked him. And that makes him more crazy because now he doesn’t know what the fuck he actually wants.

And every fucking night, late at night he’s lying in bed staring at the wall touching himself over and over… thinking about it.

He doesn’t know how to say any of this to Patrick.

���Did you die?” Patrick asks, dryly. Even now since they’ve been on the phone, just hearing Patricks stupid voice is making Art’s stomach hurt, and his cock fill up.

“No… I’m just confused okay,” Art says.

“About what?”

“I don’t know.”

”Did you hate it?” Patrick asks.

“Not really,” Art murmurs.

“You’re so fucking full of shit,” Patrick groans.

Art sighs and realizes he just mindlessly put his palm on his cock because of how gravelly Patrick’s voice sounds. And fine. Patrick can make him crazy all the way in whatever fucking city hes in however many fucking miles he is away from Palo Alto.

“I’m sorry if I don’t know how to feel. I’ve never… I’d never done any of that before.” Art says quietly.

“And yet you practically begged for it in the morning.” Patrick says softly.

Art swallows thickly.

“I can’t get it out of my head.” Patrick continues. “The way you were rubbing against my dick before you even woke up properly. Fuck. I can’t get you out of my head.”

Art’s rubbing himself now. “I can’t either,” he sighs, he’s starting to lose it again. He feels silly. Too silly to care if Patrick can tell.

“Yeah?” Patrick sounds eager, breathy.

“It was… I still… I still feel it. Is that crazy?” Art says quietly.

Patrick takes a deep breath. “Fuck. You drive me so fucking insane. Are you fucking touching yourself?”

“’m sorry. I just…” Art says, closing his eyes. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Art knows he’s never gonna recover from this but right now it doesn’t matter. He would stop if he could but he can’t.

”You still feel me?”

“Mmhm.”

“Feel me stretching you? you’re so fucking tight I don’t even know if it’s all gonna fit,” Patrick says, his voice sounds like it did. When Arts eyes are closed it’s almost like he can feel Patrick’s breath on his skin.

“Ah—“ Art gasps, grabbing himself properly. “I like the stretch.”

“You love it.” Patrick says. “You don’t even want to wait. Don’t want me to take my time, you’re just so eager you’re pushing that pretty ass back on me.”

“Yeah,” Art gasps, he rolls onto his back and puts the phone on speaker, letting one leg fall open as he jerks himself. “It feels so good—when you fuck me. Its too much. Im too full please… please I don’t think I can take anymore.”

“Oh you fucking liar,” Patrick moans. “You can take it baby. I know you can. You’re a little cock slut already and its only your first time. Fuck. You’re so tight.”

”So tight,” Art says mindlessly as he tries to ease two fingers along his ass, the way Patrick had done before he entered. “I wanna… I want you to… I—I miss you.”

”I miss you too,” Patrick says. “If I was there I’d have you on all fours taking my dick all night.”

“Ah—mmh— Patrick I’m gonna— you’re gonna make me—“ Art cries. The fingers are enough… even dry.

“Come on, yeah… fucking come on my big fat dick sweetheart… come on.. nngh…” Patrick moans.

It’s enough. Hot strings of pearly white are suddenly spurting out of him and spilling everywhere, on his fingers and clothes. On the bedspread. He’s breathless, as his whole body goes lax.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck… I need to be in you again, gahhh..” Art can hear Patrick’s bed squeaking wherever he is and then he’s groaning loudly, and gasping through his own orgasm. “Oh god, oh shit… that was…”

“Yeah,” Art says breathlessly, looking up at the ceiling.

”Mm don’t fucking ignore me again,” Patrick says.

As relaxed as Art feels right now. Distantly, the pit in his stomach is returning. “Patrick… are we… I mean… are we still gonna be… friends?”

“Yeah of course,” Patrick says, easy. He yawns. “Always.”

Art feels tied up in knots but he can tell Patrick’s relaxed, sated, relieved even. If anything he’s going to be asleep in five minutes. No point getting any deeper now.

“You wanna fall asleep on the phone or—?” Patrick asks, yawning again.

“No it’s… it’s fine.” Art says. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Mmkay. Sweet dreams.”

Art bites his tongue to keep himself from saying something fucking stupid that he can’t take back. The line goes dead. Art stares at the ceiling for a minute, the three words he can’t say platonically to his best friend who he’s now fucking, are flitting about in his head. And Patrick wonders why he’s confused. He grabs his second pillow and pulls it over his face. He’s so fucked.

[lostghost0o0]

What do you think the Shepards do at a Latino party

OH WOW!! :D Thank you, I’m actually so happy that someone asked me something lol! But I’m gonna be honest, with the limited info we have about the Shepards it’s kinda hard for me to come up with stuff. So, sorry if their not as satisfactory as the last ones… :/ ANYWAYS-

Tim -

I feel like when Tim isn’t trying to kill somebody he’s actually pretty chill

he’ll kind just be standing around and listening to other people’s conversations

he’ll join in sometimes

similar to Dallas, he would probably become buddies with the cholo cousin

they’d relate with each other’s experiences

similar to Darry, he’s actually quite responsible

he’d definitely have a soft spot for the little kids

when the ice cream man comes around you can just see him walk up to the truck, wallet in hand and a whole bunch of kids following him

whenever the kids are around him, the adults would refer to them as his kids; “Ahí va el, con sus hijos.”

he’ll pretend not to like the kids and yell and scold them, but he’ll do it with a small smirk

when getting food, he’ll ask if the salsa is spicy lol

“Hey, is this thing spicy?”; “Nah. No pica.”

that was a fucking lie

Tim’s face turned red and he started to cough, he put a whole bunch of salsa on his food 😭

the tios just laughed at him and pat his back

Tim would also sit with the adults and listen to their stories of their childhood/ life in Mexico

their ghost stories are the only ones that freak him out

literally all the kids including Curly and Angela are asleep but Tim is still taking with the adults. It’s 3AM

Angela -

the tias don’t really like her, some might talk bad about her behind her back

they’d say stuff like; “Ella se cree mucho.” which basically means that she’s conceited or thinks she’s better than everyone else

canonically, she is very pretty, so the primos would all probably be asking for her number

the primas think she’s a bit of a toxica, but they still like her and think she’s pretty

they teach her how to dance and she learns pretty fast

she’d ask all the primos to dance huapango with her and of course they would

she tried to get Pony to dance with her and he would always refuse so she just gave up

she drank a whole shit ton of jamaica thinking it was wine, but it’s just juice

she still liked it though

she finds little kids annoying and she tries to stay as far away from them as possible, but they bug her just to spite her

she WANTED to talk with the primos in that one room, but as soon as she saw Cherry with them she rolled her eyes and walked away

she ended up talking with that one shy prima who was sitting alone at the party and they actually really got along

they sneak off to the corner store to get snacks and get some fresh air (I’ve also done this with my primos)

but they get caught and the adults scold them

they ended up staying in the prima’s room all night doing each other’s makeup

they would talk shit about boys and Angela would actually be the one to spill the chismé

Curly -

first thing he does is pick on the kids

he scares them and chases them around causing some kids to cry

he stops when a tia takes out a thick ass belt and threatens to whoop his ass

he pretended that he wasn’t scared of her but in reality he found her intimidating

he would also sneak off to the corner store, but with a group of a bunch of primos and the “fun Tio”

Everything was fine till Curly got caught trying to steal beer

he’d probably start a fight with the slick back primo and one of the Tios would have to break it up

the kids ended up ganging up on him and dragging him with them to sell bracelets around the neighborhood( has happened to one of my primos)

he actually really helped with the sales

when playing loteria, he would cheat and when nobody was looking he would steal some quarters from the cazito

everyone was invited to the next party except for Curly 💀

[setaripendragon]

WIPS - I'm curious about the Cat SI. I mean, it's a reasonably self-explanatory title, but I'm interested to know what sort of direction you'd take.

Ahaha, hoooo, okay.

Buckle your seatbelt, cause this one turned into a monster on me (the thing titled 'CatSI' in my WIP folder isn't a file, it's its own folder with fifteen different files inside), and I will try to keep this short, but... ^^"

It started when I was watching some Order of the Green Hand theory videos on youtube, specifically the ones about the Ned+Ashara=Jon theory, which, while I don't think it's true in canon, I do still find it fascinating.

And then I wondered, okay, what if Catelyn didn't blame the bastard (since he's technically not one)? But since that is kind of entrenched in her whole... main motivation, and I genuinely cannot imagine a Catelyn that wouldn't (I don't... really like her. She's the main reason I stopped reading the books, tbh, so I may be being unfair to her ^^"), and the blame the bastard trope is one of my Big Nopes (hence why I don't like her, probably), and I really needed an escape from reality at that point in time...

So it originally started with a freshly transmigrated Cat having a bit of a meltdown on her wedding night (a sexist feudal hellscape wedding night as someone on the ace spectrum, to boot) all over a Ned who also very much wants to just have a meltdown, for obvious reasons. And Cat decides 'fuck it, the old gods don't look down on polygamy, I can at least make sure he gets to keep his lover and son' and tells him to damn Hoster Tully and keep them both.

It gets, you know, a lot more political than that, because everyone and their mother has an opinion about it, or wants to use it against them, etc, but that's the gist of it. Mostly it's an exercise in Make Things Better for Ned Stark with bonus OT3 as endgame.

But, well, I got a lot more invested in this AU as time went on. That need for escape during the pandemic meant I was thinking about this AU pretty much 24/7 and it grew out of control.

I eventually decided to have Cat transmigrate in at birth, and I've plotted out a Childhood Adventure for her that I've stuffed full of fun things for me to play with like a trans friend, issues with the Faith, internal Riverlands politics, her mother's death, etc etc etc, and is, you know, supposed to serve as a sort of set-up for her being properly integrated into the world by the time the Rebellion starts.

So, instead of starting at her wedding, the main story (or Book 2 of the trilogy ^^") starts at Harrenhal. The ten-day tourney in which, word of god says, so much stuff happens. The tourney is being held in honour of Cat's cousin, and the first part of the story focuses on all the ridiculous romantic nonsense that goes on there. There will, of course, be Cat pining over Ned who's pining over Ashara, as well as Lysa pining over Petyr who's pining over Cat and also Lyanna pining over Rhaegar who's ignoring his wife. Cat tries to keep Lysa and Petyr apart, and tries to get Lyanna's attention anywhere else, and actually thinks she's succeeding...

Right up until Lysa tells her she's pregnant. She talks her out of telling their father, but then her own wedding is looming, and the only way to get out of it is to let a good man get killed, and then Petyr challenges said man to a duel for her hand and Cat... says nothing. She doesn't ask Brandon to spare Petyr's life, and so he doesn't. Petyr dies, and Lysa is devastated, and Cat is guilty, and it only gets worse when Lyanna gets 'kidnapped', and Brandon goes off to King's Landing despite Cat's best efforts (were they, though?). Cat gets to stew in all this guilt for a while, and then...

Finally, the Wedding. Politics happen, Cat fights with her father about her betrothal to Ned along with Brynden 'Only Sane Tully' Blackfish, has a panic attack about her wedding night, cries all over her uncle, and asks him, in a fit of desperation to do at least One Thing Right, if, when he gets to King's Landing with the army, he'll try to save Princess Elia and the royal children. Then there's the wedding night, she introduces the idea of polygamy to Westeros (oops?), and ends up fucking pregnant because there isn't really a way to get out of it at this point.

She goes North to meet her new sister-wife Ashara, and then goes looking for Lyanna (honestly, I still haven't quite decided if I'm going with the standard Tower of Joy thing, or if I'm gonna go with the Green Hand's theory about Winterfell, but since it's another theory that I think is fun despite not thinking it's true, I'll probably go with Winterfell). Four pregnant women walk into a bar... Everyone has their babies with no one dying, because Cat actually brings a midwife or six with her, so this one almost counts as a success! Except little Targaryen-Stark baby (who we will henceforth call Geralt) has to go into hiding, and Lysa's bastard can't be known to be hers, and Cat had a girl instead of a boy! Oh, and then Princess Elia shows up with Rhaenys but not Aegon or Brynden. (Honestly, I am very seriously considering killing Brynden off here. Would make sense, him taking on the Mountain and all, but... I don't wanna...)

Baby Geralt goes with Elia north of the wall, and Arthur comes with his sister and the rest of them to King's Landing. Which is where the Politics start. Cat makes the mistake of getting involved by offering the King an excuse to kick Jaime out of the Kingsguard, and then she ends up defending Jaime's honour against Ned, which sticks an oar right in there just when the three of them were starting to build a relationship, and also attracts the attention of Tywin Lannister.

More stuff probably happens, but my notes for this part are a fucking mess, ngl -cries- Why do I like political intrigue so much? It's so hard to write! But, yeah, there needs to be some stuff with the Faith's reaction to the OT3 marriage, Oberyn finding out Elia's alive and the tangle of alliances and grudges that creates, possibly some stuff to do with the Tyrells and other loyalists, and also Cat probably getting too involved in helping Robert govern the Seven Kingdoms.

We end with a bunch of weddings; Tywin engages Jaime to Lysa as a way to drag Cat closer to their family, Robert of course marries Lyanna, which leaves Cersei with Stannis. (And Cat, of course, is still on the outs with Ned, and Ashara's caught in the middle.)

So literally no one except Robert goes home happy.

Then, I have another story planned that covers, primarily the Greyjoy Rebellion, but also the rest of the time before canon. Story starts with Cat, you know, doing everything in her power to prepare the North for the Long Night ('taters, precious), except then, whoops, she gets kidnapped by Iron Island pillagers, kills a man who's trying to rape her, commandeers a ship, survives the war by the skin of her teeth, goes to Pyke and convinces Robert to let the Iron Islands have a not-a-kingsmoot to decide the next Lord Paramount instead of leaving Greyjoy in charge.

Meanwhile, Ned thought she was dead and had a missed-opportunities style revelation that he wishes he hadn't left their relationship so strained after the whole Kingslayer thing, and they make up and talk things out, while Ashara just straight up kisses her as a welcome home. Cat detours to the Citadel on her way home to ask after that one Maester who knows magic stuff, because she's been in this racist sexist feudal hellscape for over a quarter of a century and she wants plumbing, damnit, and also gets the ball rolling on magical sunlamps (Generation-long night?! GRRM, there would be no survivors, wtf?!). Ned starts having wolf-dreams five or six years early, gets his own wolf companion, Cat maybe accidentally wakes up the Lion of Night, the Stark family ends up even bigger than in canon (nine kids instead of six, because I am a sucker for kidfic, okay), everything ends happily ever after.

Until the beginning of canon, anyway =D

(And then there's the AU where the extra Stark babies are all transmigrators as well; Obi-wan Kenobi, Tony Stark, and Frodo Baggins (or possibly Wei Wuxian, I haven't quite settled on that one 100% yes). But I don't have much more on this beyond a few funny snippets of the transmigrators recognising each other and doing a spider-man meme about it ^^")

Most of what I have written for this AU is actually a whole bunch of Canon Crossovers where, variously, Jaime Lannister, Tywin Lannister, the Six Canon Starks, Cat herself, or Ned Stark from the AU swap places with their canon counterpart and generally freak out a lot. (And the reverse, but that's less fun because Cat, of course, spots them at 200 paces and is there to explain shit.)

[analtyranny]

let’s play gore screaming show, part 5

that got us a relationship point with...kiika?? huh??? maybe kiika also likes the hot nurse and we can bond over that down the road

or she'll just happen to show up that moment. that works too

let's not tell her about the insane brawl...yet?

"nope, don't care"

five guys: haha im stuff kyoji: omg five guys nooo

okay she figures out immediately it was a fight

but kiika already knows him from their old school, so. whew

hey akane's back WITH HOT NURSE

........she doesn't have a portrait. invisible nurse route NEVER

and now we're back home (yamiko is the hot older cousin he lives with now)

so the room's still kinda bare but has SOME personality. i just moved so i know how it is [author’s note: “just” = 10 months ago]

he's gonna sing wonderwall

kyoji just wants to rock the fuck out

[link]

THERE she is, we may not get hot nurse but there's still hot cousin

she's wearing a Denkishiki Karen Ongaku Shuudan (AKA DenKare) shirt. they sing the OP

she'll say this again during the yamiko route won't she

oh my god okay so she used to have a friend who also played guitar and collected monster figures. inch resting

it's digimon, they're all ugly

DREAM WOMAN also the pudding is meat pudding

honestly i get it. ive tried those weird coca-cola flavors for this reason too. space coke was really good. dream coke sucks

that's not a color name

also that makes her kyoji's uhhh first cousin once removed

FUCK YEAHHH yamiko also agrees they probably deserved it, and makes a cryptic comment about how "tomorrow's going to be a long day" but won't elaborate. hmm is...is she the clown

like, in a yuri way, or...

so kyoji's like "yeah everyone thinks kiika's gorgeous" and yamiko's like "oh so you LIKE like her"

m-maybe 😳

no. blue and/or red all the way

this game has a lot of choices, huh? this one’s a pretty blatant "do you want kiika's route yet" choice

[author’s note FROM THE FUTURE: it looks like kyoji brings up whoever you have the most points with? so yeah this scene is a general “just making sure but you DO want this route right” choice]

[confused-n-queer]

Afab Gender-fluid(?) stuff

Idk I’m questioning shit.

This will be continuously updated it’s for me and my therapist but if you see this feel free to share yours

The visceral reaction I had to my father talking about giving the ring that's been passed down to the first born son in his family for generations to his great nephew (who we are all very close to and is the only boy in the family) instead of me because despite being his oldest child "I'm a girl" so it wouldn't make sense. My inital though wasn't "it's not fair he gets this even though he has no real attachment to it" it was "but I'm your son" which gave me pause ngl.

In the same vein being told that i "wouldn't want" any of my grandfather or great uncle's jewelry except maybe a dainty chain after they passed because "it's men's jewellery". I would probably want want a stuffed animal made of their shirts or another sentimental item like a book. I wanted that jewelry because it was men's jewellery. I wanted something strong and masculine. It's what i aspire to be!

Hating being called girly as a kid. I hated that I was the weakest and smallest. I wanted to be big and tough and seen as one of the boys and people pointing out I was small,effeminate,weak and ultimately not a boy pissed me off.

I internalized a lot of the same shame around crying and being seen as weak boys do, even though it wasn't directed at me. Like I saw that messaging and went "oh this applies to me". But also I was raised a girl so I had those pressures forced on me too. Yay.

I related to and was obsessed with every cross dressing girl and tomboy in history and fiction.

Feeling most like myself playing vampires and werewolves and roughhousing with my boy cousins*. The only time I was allowed to play rough and treated as and equal were the holiday parties we went to. I was able to hit bite scratch snarl and be cunning.

*they were family friends or very distantly related

I liked martial arts for the same reason. I wanted to be the biggest and the strongest. Not to prove girls could fight, I knew that they could and had some interesting feelings experiencing that firsthand. And it wasn't quite that I wanted to prove I "wasn't like other girls" even if it sometimes manifested that way. I wanted to, I needed to prove I wasn't a girl.

I was dreaming I was talking with Billy Hargrove (fuck off I didn't get a choice in relating to both the Hargrove-Mayfeild kids) about our home lives at the park by my childhood home because he saw into high school me's perception of my family. I forget the exact lead up but at some point in the conversation I ended up screaming "but I'm not a girl" at him. And It was true. Like I don't know in my waking life if it's true but i felt it in that moment in my gut that I was being honest and he had forced it out of me. He asked if it was true/did they misunderstand what I was saying and I froze up. I couldn't talk. I tried to say it wasn't true but I could taste the lie and it rang flat and false. It got weird after that, and I had a whole ass panic attack and hurt myself on accident which was not fun. Side note I unknowingly wrote this whole thing using they/them for Billy before I changed it back to he/him while editing because in the dream he was feeling the same way I was just in the opposite direction. So its safe to say I was definitely projecting my issues onto him.

Freshman year having a young girl ask her mom if I was a "girl or a boy?" which made me so happy I skipped home.

OK so weird tangential thought When I wanted to get off in middle/early high school I would use my reflection. Not in a narcissistic way but for a number of layered increasingly fucked up reasons. The first reason was obviously curiosity which is fine and normal. The second was because girls are pretty but I don't have a way to look at other girls my age and I felt disgusting and predatory imagining my peers that way. I was ready to off myself for being gross just accidentally seeing my crush in her underwear for 0.3 seconds in the locker room so my catholic ass wasn't gonna let my "sinful mind" replay that shit to get off. And finally because I felt like I had to practice being hot for men. By that point I was convinced sex appeal was the only thing I had going for me. I mean all other boys and men thought I was good for were my tits and legs...

... No wonder why I latched onto this lanky fucker.

But yeah my body hasn't felt like anything other than an interesting science project or something pretty to look at on occasion. It's never been me.

It got so bad recently that I had to cut off all my hair because i felt like I was wearing a massive wig all the time. Like it felt like being half in drag at all times. Buzzed my hair and boom no more dysphoria.

This also happened before when I was like 14/15 and I made my hairdresser cut my hair as short and boyish as possible because I wanted to look androgynous.

Growing up I loved "crossplay" (cosplaying the opposite sex) and wanted to be able to transform into guys like TTBret and many other cosplayers here and on YT. (Spoiler alert most of them were trans or genderqueer individuals.) I was elated what I got my face right with makeup but hated the rest because my body wasn't right. So it made me really fucking dysphoric and I've given up cosplaying guys and doing drag because of that.

Hilariously cosplaying Chrissy Cunningham was euphoric in a weird way, granted body dysmorphia was still a bitch and I felt my boobs and stomach were too big (I'm aware of the irony) but pretending to be a pretty girl was fun! Mostly because it was just exploring a part of me and something aesthetically pleasing but it wasn't me. Like I'm not a pretty girl but I can be pretty and dress up like one. It felt more like drag than "crossplay" ever did.

Mad I can’t walk around shirtless even in my own home

My boss and coworkers talking about how they where uncomfortable with the idea of working with a guy/don’t think a guy could do as good a job in our field (we work in bridal fashion). “Even if he was gay”. And not only did I think it was bs (not the feeling unsafe around dudes I totally get that but that a guy couldn’t be professional and sew well) but I felt a deep sinking fear in my gut about being found out. About what (liking girls,feeling like a boy) I don’t know but all I knew was that I was suddenly terrified of these women who I considered friends and of loosing my job if they realized something was wrong with me.

I had also tried lowering my voice into its natural register when answering the phone instead of doing that high pitch thing I was taught to do as a girl and my oldest coworker asked what was wrong with me and my voice. I had to panic and say I was tired and hadn’t realized I wasn’t talking right.

[daydreaming-juna]

8,10,16,24,30

Hi, Lord ^-^ Thank you for joining in on the fun! I'm really on the mood for this stuff tonight.

8. what’s your favorite cuisine?

Oh god, me and food have a bad relationship so I tend to change the recipes to my taste... 😅 I would say what survives the best would be Italian 🤌 and Mediterranean cuisine in general. I'm a sucker, for example, pasta and pizza, jamón and chorizo.

10. do you play video games? if so, what games?

I do, simulation ones (TheSims, ZooTycoon when I was a child, really wanted the new zoo game that came out some years ago but I needed a better PC for those graphics 🥲)

I tried the Assassin Creed Unity thanks to the Notredame's fire 🙈 And enjoyed the Lara Croft ones (unfortunately, I got stuck on both games and never finished them...) I tended to own for my hand-me-down PS2 fight or race games - scratched my competitive itch 😂.

I'm not a fan of watching gameplays, but I would spend afternoons watching my cousin play whatever game he was into at the time and help out with tips. Best moment with him was when he played God of War in the living room and the moment both our parents came home I put replay on the moment Kratos had to have some fun with a goddess or whatever - the panic because of the sounds and finishing hitting the buttons sequence before they came into the room 🤣

16. do you like the weather where you live?

I do! Perfect balance of not too hot not too cold.

24. when making plans, do you like to organize or go with the flow when the time comes?

My anxiety is so bad that when I make plans I need certain schedules a week prior to it 😭 And have a general plan of what we are doing. The moment I'm in the middle of it I go with the flow and thrive under pressure if needed 😅 Transportation also fucks me up pretty good so I'm prepared with time ahead for caution.

30. do you always remember your dreams?

Not always, but given my good imagination if it's something hardcore I remember the vibe of it. The question above, the night before plans if my anxiety is that bad I tend to have nightmares because I fear not waking up on time for stuff. And in the same night I can be dreaming the most random genres in a row. Today I had some Saw type survival dream in a school environment 🤷🏻‍♀️

[erigold13261]

Dream last night. 7/19/2023

Dream started off with me as either a highschooler or a college student back at my old elementary school trying to do volunteer work. Or I was trying to see an old teacher. Maybe both. I was there with some friends (old friends in IRL, but in the dream we were actively friends), and they were supposed to also be volunteering.

We were gonna go outside with the kids to supervise them with the full time teachers, to make sure the kids were safe, but it was like cold outside from being winter so my friends were trying to tell me to not go out and just relax for the recess even though we literally came here to volunteer and help. Somehow I ended up doing both.

I was outside watching the kids, and it was somehow nice and sunny out, while also sitting in the lobby talking to the receptionist and holding the door open for people walking in so they can get signed in, and walking around the school library and cafeteria with my friends. I was going back and forth between the interactions for a bit before I stopped on watching the kids at recess.

From there, my dream shifted from me being an adult to being a kid. I wasn’t the same adult that turned into a kid, I was now a new kid that was in a city instead of a town. I had just come home from school like 20-30 minutes ago and was now playing with the other kids around my neighborhood and family (pretty sure they were cousins or at least really close family friends).

We were playing with a shadow demon for some reason. Like we were hiding from it and playing tag. It was just a shadow circle on the ground that grew shadow arms that became physical when giving us stuff. It would ask one of us kids what we wish for, juggle some shadow balls, and then hand us the item if it could make it (we usually asked for candy or maybe a simple toy, we were not getting like a phone from that thing). Then we would play a round and afterwards it would change to what the next kid wanted to play/wish for.

This went on for a bit before adults needed the shadow for something, so we had to say goodbye and go do something else. From here I turned into one of the adults, pretty sure she was the reason we had the shadow demon in the first place because that thing seemed to follow her around whenever not helping others or playing with the kids. 

The dream from this point turned into her/me helping adults out looking for something while the shadow took on a more humanoid look (it was like a tall figure in a cloak but still 2-dimensional and hanging on the walls and floor around me). I had to go out to get gas or something at a gas station and the shadow demon followed me as a circle, sometimes becoming physical in an animal shape or a humanoid shape to walk and talk with me. 

Something big happened at the gas station, I don’t know what. Either I was about to get attacked, the gas station was being robbed, I saw someone run up to me asking for help, something like that. My shadow helped out and then as we were leaving my sister said she couldn’t find our cat at all. We tried looking everywhere for him and couldn’t find him. 

My shadow ended up using its powers to locate our cat and somehow that piece of shit was like a whole city away from us and in some deep ass woods. My shadow turned into a horse (it was a fucked up looking horse with a really long neck, not like a giraffe but weirder) and I hopped on its back to head over to our cat. We had to climb like a mountain or big wall, go through a lot of trees, maneuver around cars and weird ass buildings at really high speeds, but we finally got to our cat and he was just sitting around like a little asshole. 

Pretty sure I woke up at this point, but basically we got the cat back and me and the shadow were dating. It went back to playing with the kids later on.

[gashinabts]

anti-romantic | (m)

word: 4.1k

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre:  Slight Angst, Fluff, Smut

Summary: celebrating father’s day without actually having kids is more fun according to you and jungkook

Warnings: hidden oral sex (fem), blow job, public sex, slight choking, riding, some roleplay (hehe)

a/n: lol this was in my drafts and was supposed to be posted on father’s day but idk if you guys liked this couple...but here it is! Might do more drabbles and stuff with this couple. lemme know what you guys think.

Read this first —> anti-baby fever

“ Happy Father's day!,” you place the bouquet of flowers on the desk before jumping on his body that was peacefully sleeping in the bed. There’s a grunt that comes out and you nuzzle your way into his neck, kissing his moles until he wakes up.

Jungkook's eyes open slowly, yawning loudly before speaking. “ How’d you find out that I have a kid? I thought I did a better job of being discreet,” he smiles when you bite his neck. His large hands hold onto your waist moving you so that you are sitting on top of him. 

“ Yeah happy father’s day...because I do be swallowing your babies,” you hold back your laughter as you try to finish your sentence. 

Jungkook barks a laugh, shaking his head at the dirty joke. “ I’m surprised to hear that coming from your mouth but I’m also proud,” he brings your head down to kiss your lips. There’s a slight gap when he pulls apart, “ So where is my breakfast in bed?” Jungkook asks, his lips barely touch yours as he speaks.

“ Damn, you're taking this roleplay too far,” you huff a laugh. “ Do you also want me to buy you a barbecue grill?” His eyes playfully roll, bringing you down to kiss him once more.

----

As funny as it sounds your dad is trying to convince Jungkook to buy a similar barbecue as him, they are talking among themselves, grilling some meat as you are with your mother and sister. It's a small gathering and you just want to go back inside your parents house because it is a million degrees outside. “ Auntie Y/N come swim with us,” one of your nephews comes to splash water on you. He laughs loudly when you give him an annoyed look, as the cold water drenched your summer dress. 

“ I don’t have any swim suits and if I get in there I will probably drown you in front of your mom,” you feel a pinch on your left arm from your mom giving you a disappointed look. On the other hand your sister laughs, shaking your head as she breastfeeds her daughter. The little brat taunts you sticking his tongue out then swims along to play with his cousins. “ I’m kidding,” you tell your mom. 

Turning back to drinking your ice tea, you sigh at the words your mother says next. “ So when are you and Jungkook going to get married? You are not getting anymore younger and it will be hard to get pregnant-”

“ Mom...,” your sister tries to defend you.

The thought of swimming sounds more appealing to you, anything that makes you stray away from this conversation with your mother. “ We actually got married, we just didn’t invite you to the wedding,” you look at your mom, her eyes shooting daggers at you. “ Imma go swimming. My stuff is still in my old room, yeah?” Your mom nods her head, pinching the bridge of her nose, probably at the annoyance of you. 

Stepping in your old room feels nice, the cold air hitting your slightly sweaty face, instantly making you cool down. You toss your body on your bed, closing your eyes, taking a breather before going outside and into the boiling pits of hell. “ This brings up old memories,” you hear your boyfriend. Smiling you look to the doorway, his body leaning against your door entrance, his arms are crossed and there’s muscle definition on his biceps. 

“ Yeah, because we lost our virginity on this bed,” you hold your hand out so he can come closer to you. Jungkook leans down, giving you quick kisses before giving you a suggestive look. 

“ Should we recreate it?,” his eyebrows go up and down. 

“ Okay,” you whisper, bringing his head down to kiss him again. “ That means you have to come in the first minute,” you laugh as he lets out a groan. Pushing him away you get up from the bed, and go to the drawers and grab a swimsuit. Putting it on you feel the straps digging into your hips and your top barely covering your boobs. Of course you don’t fit your high school swimsuits. 

“ Fuck,” you hear Jungkook sigh. Turning around you give him a confused look until you look down and see a boner. “ You look so fucking hot,” he comes to grab at your ass but you smack it off. Jungkook likes that you can’t fit in your bottoms, your cheeks showing making him want to bite it. Your hips look wider and he wants to hold on to it, feeling your supple skin that spills out from the thin straps. And the way your boobs spill out like they are purposely begging him to suckle on them. 

The apple of cheeks blush, your eyes widening at the intense stare. Shaking your head while looking at the door entrance nervously to see if anyone saw this scene. “ We are not fucking here, wait till we get home,” you lift your top up to try to cover more skin. 

“ Let me just taste you, baby. I’ll be quick,” his hands hold your hands kissing it, giving you his best puppy eyes. He just wants to smell you and taste you. A whole parade happens in his head when you agree, leaning against the dresser and parting your legs. 

Maybe it’s the heat that went to your head, that made you dumbly nod without thinking about the consequences that might happen. It turns you on even more, that you guys have to be careful and aware of your surroundings. Jungkook goes on his knees, pecking the inside of thigh before moving the swimsuit to the side, showing him your glistening folds. Immediately, his mouth is on you, tasting your arousal on his taste buds. One of your hands goes up to your mouth softening your quiet moans. The other hand, holds the dresser tightly, afraid that you might fall down.

His tongue lathers you wetness, looking up to see your chest heavily move and down. Your pretty eyes looking down at his mouth work wonders on you. “ Jungkook,” you moan. His rough hands lift your thighs up, stuffing his face more in, tongue penetrating in and out in your entrance. 

Lewd noises are being made by the two of you. Jungkook’s lips smack against your pussy, while your moaning has increased despite your hand muffling the noises. Your eyes widen when you notice your door is still open, anybody can pass by because the bathroom is across your room. “ Pay attention to me baby,” Jungkook smacks the outside of your thigh.

Listening to his words, you look into his doe eyes, his tongue do small licks on clit then sucking it before his lips plop off loudly. “ I don’t want you wearing this outside, because all I want to do is fuck you silly,” his finger goes to your entrance, thrusting slowly with a slight curl. “ I love the way you look in this,” his other finger joins and watches your hips ride them like it was his cock. He blows cool air onto your folds watching your body twitch at the sensation.

“ Yeah? I can barely fit in it,” you say as you toss your head back. There’s a cooling sensation against your heat, pulling your bottoms more to the side so it doesn’t go in the way of his mouth.

“ That’s why I love it, your body spilling out of it and it’s fucking hot. Look at your tits barely covered, your nipples are begging to be sucked on,” he gives you a sloppy kiss on your clit before continuing, “ Your hips look really wide, you know that means you can take my cock better.” His thumb rubs your clit fast, more wetness seeps out of your entrance making his fingers slide in faster. “ I also love it because I got to see you grow into and out of this swimsuit. Just proves to you that I’m always here,” he pecks your thigh. 

The words make you blush, insecurities washed away because you never thought that not fitting your swimsuit could be this hot and liberating. More importantly it makes you want to come all over his mouth. “ I love you,” you whisper softly.

His eyes are sparkly, looking like he holds the constellations in his eyes. “ I love you,” he says. Then placing his mouth on your cunt. Eating you up like he didn’t eat at all today. He moans into you, as your hands hold his hair tightly, the vibrations hitting your sensitive nerves making you moan loudly as you come against his wet mouth. Your hips moving against his mouth as you come down your high, finally stopping after a few seconds. Jungkook places your bikini back in place, kissing your hip. 

His hair is in his face, you tuck a strand behind his ear, “ Yeah, I’m not going swimming anymore,” you laugh in disbelief that your boyfriend ate you out in your childhood bedroom while your family is outside. Taking off your bikini you return back to your summer dress.

“ Yeah, we don’t want you flashing a nipple when you do a cannonball,” he laughs, getting up and watching you look at the mirror. There’s a slight frown on your face, he comes closer plopping his head on your shoulder. “ What’s wrong?” his hands are placed on your waist drumming his fingers. 

“ Do you want to get married?” your eyes meet Jungkook’s. His eyes widening at your question, there’s a couple seconds of silence. His body immediately leaves your, creating a small gap. Turning around to face him instead of talking to his reflection. 

Jungkook's eyebrows raise. “ Are you asking me or is it your mom?” When he was talking to your father earlier, he noticed you looking annoyed while talking to your mother. There was a small frown on your pretty face, and he wanted to kiss it off but your father was talking about which charcoal he uses for the grill.

“ It’s better to just get it over with, so she won’t have to keep pestering me,” you shrug. Which is probably not the right choice of words, since Jungkook lets out a disappointed sigh. His hand pushes his hair back in frustration. 

“ Seriously, Y/N?” As much of Jungkook would love to get married to you, he doesn’t want to get proposed because ‘you just want to get it over with’, it leaves his heart feeling heavy that you don’t see the problem in this. 

The tone in his voice sounds just like your mother, a chastising tone, and you get annoyed.“ I thought you wanted that,” you toss your head back. Not knowing what you are doing wrong. 

Jungkook doesn’t want to argue, especially now, since you guys are supposed to be spending family time. “ Not like that,” he rolls his eyes at how unaware you are. There’s a few seconds of silence, his hands push his hair back in frustration. “ Let’s go back out,” he says in defeat. Walking ahead of you, not holding your hand like he usually does.

The slider door is right in front of you, your family are talking among each other. One thing you don’t want is to be on bad terms. “ Jungkook, are you upset?” You grab his hand before he can walk outside to carry on talking to your family. 

“ Yes. Let’s talk about this later, okay?” Jungkook turns around giving you a smile. Not the kind of smile that makes your heart flutter, it’s the type of smile that you give when you don’t want to deal with someone. In defeat, you nod letting go of his hand, as he walks to the pool getting splashed by your nephews. He brightly smiles at them, wiping the water off his face before getting a water gun and chasing them with it. 

Sighing you walk to your dad who is still grilling meat, he looks at you smiling. “ Something wrong kiddo,” he asks as he flips over the meat. Typically, you never talk to your dad about your problems, only ever going to your sister sometimes but she’s not much help because she’s with your mom.

“ Jungkook and I had a...little argument,” you say, looking to the pool to see him spinning your nephew around. “ I asked if we should just get married because of mom’s bickering. Jungkook got upset,” you scratch your arm. Looking back at your dad whose face is at a grimace, your eyes widening. “ What?” 

There is playful screaming and laughing in the background, you ignore it trying to listen to your dad’s words. “ Don’t you think that’s a little harsh? I wouldn’t want to be asked like that,” he chuckles lightly. 

Replaying the conversation that you had with Jungkook, you mentally smack your palm to your head. Your mom shouldn’t be the reason why you should marry Jungkook. Jungkook is a hopeless romantic, he likes to be swallowed whole by your love. So of course he wouldn’t want to be proposed like that. Your dad pats your back in comfort before leaving you in your thoughts as you look at Jungkook making funny faces at your baby niece.

Jungkook is back in the house grabbing plates from the kitchen cabinet, you close the slider door quietly, walking behind him as he reaches for the last plate. Wrapping your arms behind his small waist, his breath hitches, exhaling your name. “ I’m a dummy,” you whisper.

Jungkook softly laughs, “ No you're not. I’m sorry for overreacting-“

“ You weren’t though,” you lay your head completely on his back, hearing his heartbeat. “ I wasn’t being considerate,” you kiss his back through his shirt. The plate makes a small clunk sound when he places it on the counter, turning around in your arms. His brown eyes look into your eyes before kissing you on your cheek. 

“ Baby, do you want me to talk to your mom?” Jungkook asks, his large hand caressing your cheek. You give him a questioning hum. “ That we don’t have to get married right now. That we are perfectly fine just the way we are.”

The silky strands are gliding in between your fingers, as you push it away from his face.“ Hmm. Maybe she will listen to you better,” you smile. Jungkook can easily make your mom's views change within seconds with his charming smile. 

---

Jungkook lifts you up the ground before you enter the house, crossing the threshold as he holds you in his strong arms. “ Why do you keep doing this with every house,” you laugh, holding on to him tightly. “ We don’t even know we are buying this house,” you say as he finally puts you down. Looking around the empty house, you visualize a sofa and tv in the spacious living room. 

“Exactly we don’t know, it’s bad luck not to do that,” he also looks around. “ This is nice,” he whistles looking at your hips swaying as you walk to the kitchen. “ The kitchen I mean,” he cockily says.

Turning around you playfully swat him, “ Can you imagine yourself cooking here?” The cold countertops touch your fingertips as they slide against it. You can see yourself cooking here making food for you and Jungkook, his hands on your hips as he watches you. 

Jungkook likes the way the set up of the kitchen, the granite countertops and the dark brown wooden cabinets give the kitchen an expensive feel. Compared to the first apartment he got with you in college this place is a thousand times better. His heart flutters knowing that he gets to share the rest of his life with you in this house. He comes closer to you hugging you from behind as you look inside the empty cabinets. “ Mhm, yeah I can see myself cooking here,” his nose rubs against your neck loving the perfume you're wearing. He can also see himself doing other things in this kitchen. “ And eating here too,” he says, blowing a raspberry in your neck.

Laughing in his hold you turn your head to kiss his cheek, “ Let’s go up. Before you act on your fantasies,” you grab his hand. Going up the stairs you guys checked out the three rooms and bathrooms. This house is something that you’ve been wanting for the past year, it’s spacious, has a big backyard to plant your flowers, and two hours away from your parents. “ We can put our bed here,” you point in the middle. “ The dressers here,” you point in two different directions. 

Jungkook smiles fondly as you point at random spaces, he’s pretty sure that you pointed at the same area more than once for different furniture going there. “ How about the other rooms? You don’t think three rooms is big?”

You shake your head, “ I think it’s perfect. Our room, your gaming room, and maybe a guest room in case my mom wants to spend the night,” you shrug at the end. There’s a rush of serotonin just imagining getting this house. “ What are your thoughts?” His pretty eyes look around the empty big room and smile on his face.

“ Let’s get it,” he looks back at you. Your eyes meet and you grab his shirt pulling him down to kiss him to show him how happy you are. Pulling away, he holds your chin looking at your silly smile. ‘ Yeah, this is definitely home,’ Jungkook thinks to himself.

---

“ Fuck Y/N,” Jungkook moans loudly his head hitting the back of his seat.  Your mouth sucks his tip lightly as your hand moves up and down his cock. His breathing is getting louder, and he wraps your hair around his hand, wanting to see your eyes. “ Couldn't even wait to go inside the apartment,” he shakes his head in fake disappointment. But this was far from disappointing. 

Moaning against his tip, you shake your head. Deciding on buying the house turned you on and you couldn’t wait to fuck him. Your lips make a plop sound as you pull apart, “ That wouldn’t be any fun,” you kiss his tip. Causing him to groan at your cunningness. “ We should fuck one last time in this parking lot,” you blow cold air on his tip before going down again. 

Jungkook wipes the foggy car window to make sure no one is here looking at you choking on his cock. You're letting guttural noises and your eyes water at his size, your hips move side to side in the air, probably itching to be touched. “ Yeah, choke on it,” Jungkook pushes your head down more, throat tightening around his cock. “ Are you crying on my cock?” Jungkook condescending laughs.

 It turns you on how mean he is being, your tears come down even more at the humiliation but you enjoy it. You can feel your panties are getting stuck on your folds and you badly want to relieve yourself. Jungkook pushes your head down one last time before pulling your head by your hair to kiss you. His tongue pushes against your exchanging moans against each other. He helps you move your body over the center console so you are now sitting on his lap. “ Wait Jungkook,” you pull apart. “ I need to take my pants off,” you look at the tight space around you. There’s not enough room to take it off where you are.

Jungkook screams at himself for not owning a bigger car. “ Uhh, just take your pants off real quick outside and come back inside the car,” he looks out to see no one out. The things you do for sex, you hurridely take off your pants and returning back to the position. His hands are on your thighs rubbing them up and down, as he makes outs with you. Your hips move against his trying to pleasure yourself. 

Jungkook pulls away staring at you with a lustful gaze, his hands moving up to caress your face, “ Can’t believe we are doing this,” he says, laughing in disbelief.

“ Mmm, same.  Something about you signing the papers and paying the deposit turned me on,” you kiss his cheek, while stroking him in your hands.

He groans, tossing his head back showing his bare neck for a quick second, “ Yeah?” He gives you a boyish smile. “ When I saw you walking up the stairs. Kinda wanted to fuck you right there,” he kisses your neck. He moans your name when you insert his cock into your tight entrance. 

“ Next time, do it. Take me anywhere in our new house,” you hold his head close to your neck. Feeling him sucking on your skin, probably marking his love for you. “ Are you gonna fuck me like your little housewife?” Smiling to yourself when you hear him groan your name. You breath out heavily, thighs shaking as you move up and down on his cock.

Jungkook's hands wrap around your waist tightly, thrusting up into you. “ My little housewife,” he whispers to himself. It doesn’t necessarily fit your image, due to the fact that you have a high paying job and you guys aren’t even married but it turns him on. There’s something a little demeaning about it and it twisted as it sounds he wants to continue with this little act you proposed. “ Gotta have you wearing nothing but an apron on,” he snarkily smiles up to you. 

His hard thrust is making you jostle in his arms, and you cry even more just imagining him fucking you from behind as you cook him dinner. “ Yeah what else would you want from me, my lovely husband,” you put your hands to the car ceiling trying to keep yourself ahold. 

His heart does a little jump at the word of husband, he knows it’s only you teasing but he loves the way it comes out of your mouth. “ Mmm, you have to be waiting on your knees when I come home from work,” he says while one of his hands trails up your neck lightly squeezing it. “ Fuck your mouth since you’re a needy slut waiting for her husband like a good wife.” 

Your walls tighten when you hear him speaking nothing but filth to you. His thrust hits the spot that makes you drool and eyes rolling back. “ Fuck Jungkook,” you whisper. The car is probably moving from how hard Jungkook is fucking. If someone were to walk by they can obviously tell that you guys are doing the nasty, but you don’t care, this is your last day in this apartment complex.

Jungkook looks at your tits bouncing and his mouth does his best at sucking at them. He moans around it loving the feeling of your nipple in his mouth. His eyes look up at you staring down at him, sucking it hard. His lips plops off your tit, “ Are you gonna come for me, my pretty little housewife?” He watches as you nod your head up and down, holding the car ceiling as your life depends on it. He wants to remember this moment forever. His hand holds your soft tit, fingers pinching your nipple, while his mouth goes back to the other nipple sucking it softly. Your walls squeeze his cock tight as you come around it while moaning his name loudly. He prays that the windows do a good job muffling your moans, but he doubts it.

Your hands come down brushing his hair back, “ Come in your wife,” your body is still shaking from the intense orgasm. “ Make good use of me,” you tell him. His eyes roll back at words. He sucks harder on your nipple and you hiss in pain and delight. He holds you tighter in his arms, thrusting in quick motions as he comes into you. 

The feeling of his come in your cunt makes you want him to fuck you all over again. Knowing that you are the only person in the world to have him inside you like this makes you prideful. The breaths die down and Jungkook is now sucking your nipples softly, humming around it. Your hands softly brushing his hair back, letting him do his thing. “ I didn’t know you would be so into the housewife role playing,” you laugh to yourself. 

His lips part from your tits, and he laughs with you. “ You're into it just as I was,” he pecks your boob one last time before taking his cock out of you. The semen slowly comes down your lips, his finger coming to massage it into your folds. His mouth waters wondering what you and him taste like together. He looks up, “ Wanna quit your job and I’ll wife you up?” he laughs when you swat his hand away.

[headcannonsbutwrittenbyasnake]

A bunch of Devil may cry!Yuu headcanons

Also this is just a bunch of random headcanons not really in any order

Imma say this outright Yuu is Dante's kid (I say daughter but really it could be anything)

When Grimm and Yuu first meant and Grimm spit fire in her face, Yuu keep smiling and was just like "Neat!"

Also almost killed Crowley at the entrance ceremony and got collared by Riddle

Genuinely thought Riddle was a kid when she met him

Is so tired with life... She went from dealing with her family's antics to now this world antics? Just wants a break

Yuu also has some of Dante's old weapons- and a few of her own

Agni and Rudra, Nevan, and a pistol her Auntie Lady gave her :)

Just kinda watches most things play out

Like when Ace and Grimm got into a fight, she just didn't do anything

"Ohh now this is getting spicy! Oh wait, they've burnt the statue..."

Instead of Yuu calling out to Deuce to stop Ace, Grimm did.

Doesn't know how Ace is still alive after getting a cauldron dropped on him

Ace also found out very quickly what a 'summon sword' was

"AH! What the hell??" "Don't worry we do this in my family all the time!" "What the fuck is wrong with your family!"

Lets just say the Adeuce combo is confused and scared for Yuu's safety

Now ignoring all of the main story stuff them finding out Yuu is pretty much indestructible even by half demon standers was a complete accident

During a fight, a spell hit Yuu and flung them through a wall

Yuu just stood back up and proceeded to beat the ever living shit out of said student

"Yuu! Are you okay?" "Hm? Oh yeah, don't worry about it. My cousin and I use to throw each other threw walls to see who was stronger!" "..." "..." "Well who was stronger?" " My cousin."

After showing them a photo of her, Nero, Dante, and Vergil they had some questions

"You are all just copies of each other." "Well Dante and Vergil are twins." "Yeah we can tell."

After a few more questions Yuu retells the family history

"So you're all half demons right?" "Right," "And you only just found out your Uncle was alive?" "Yep" "After he tried to kill your father a couple of times, and took your cousin's arm?" "Uh-huh" "And you are completely okay living with him?" "Yeah why?" "Oh great seven..."

After Jack joined the first year squad, him and Yuu became very good friends

"Yuu, please don't throw Leona-senpai," "No, he talked shit, now he gets hit!" "Count him lucky it wasn't the gun."

Deuce + Yuu = The "I have a single parent who I love and if you say anything bad about them I will kill you" squad

Yuu cares for Grimm very deeply and would absolutely murder someone for him (Watch your back Idia)

Yuu like Chen'ya just not the rest of RSA

Neige was to sweet and pure, Yuu just doesn't know what do to

Can and will eat Lilia's cooking and scare the rest of Diasomnia

"Yuu-chan! I've made you a meal, it must be hard living all alone in Ramshackle." "Oh thank you Lilia"*takes a bite* "How does it taste?" "It's fine, definitely not the worst thing I've had..."

Silver's in the background wondering just what Yuu's eaten (Hint hint: it was demon)

Yuu was on the street for a while and being desperate and constantly hunted, Yuu just kinda... Killed a demon and ate it... A few times (if V can do it in the manga, Yuu can too)

Malleus and Yuu are pretty close

"You are not scared of me?" "Well you aren't scared of me."

Over all DMC!Yuu is pretty desensitized to violence and gore, is blunt, but cares deeply for her friends and family

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [1] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, super duper mild angst, slice of life, josei, bad comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, very,very mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT BECAUSE NANAMI DESERVES HAPPINESS)

Notes: after repeatedly giving you jjk angst, i have been very happy to announce that i am able to write something fluffy now. Yay! (Anyways this is based on the manga sesame salt and pudding, yall better read that. It’s just *chefs kiss*) also this may or may not be written ebcause of the amount of smoll nanami content i’m seeing around this site hmPH 

masterlist  || taglist || [next  ; updates every friday]

The sound of your alarm blared at the crack of dawn, making you immediately jerk up in an unfashionable manner, you shouldn’t drink on Sunday nights. Good lord,  why did you even do that?-

Your thoughts are cut short though when you feel something, better yet, someone, next to you. It’s dark but you could definitely tell that whoever this stranger is, had settled himself quite comfortably by your side. You blink once then twice then slowly reached out to switch your lamp open to get a good look on who was next to you.

Thankfully, you’re still in your clothes from last night.

Also, who the fuck is this?

Your brows are furrowed together as you try to remember who this person was. Blonde hair and jaw so sharp that it could probably cut the vegetables on your kitchen counter, some fine lines littered his face as he wrinkled his forehead in his sleep.

The tie on his neck is loose as you slowly peered to observe him even more and for some odd reason that made your ears turn bright red as you check out his rather lean figure (he wasn’t overly muscular, he was just right)

“Oh shit.” You mumbled, snapping out of your daze, you had to focus! This was a stranger for crying out loud, “Who the-”

Before you could even say anything more, his eyes shot open and you’re greeted by chocolate brown eyes. You try to stutter out a reply, clearly in your frazzled state the only thing you could let out was, “What the fuck?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” his voice was deep and quite raspy, and daresay, it suited his rather sharp appearance.

Was this stranger awake this whole time that you were gawking at him under the dim light? Your ears turn even a brighter shade of pink. Was it just the heater or was this room getting hotter than it should be?

Yet despite your flustered state though, he thankfully remains oblivious, “Are you feeling any better?” he asks.

Despite his bland facial expression, there was a certain warmth in his tone and that made your heart beat quicken. It wasn’t everyday that you’d wake up to find a good looking older gentleman next to you after all, “I’m good…” You shyly replied, the confidence you had moments ago while you were cursing him was gone when you heard his soft tone, “I- sorry but who are you? What happened?”

He stares at you for a moment and purses his lips, “Nanami Kento.” he introduces himself briefly. From the likes of it, he seemed like a professional, “To be honest, I don’t have much recollection from last night due to the alcohol. When I woke up a few moments ago, you wouldn’t let go and I had no choice but to lay there and wait for you to wake up.”

You paled just a bit at his explanation and turned bright red right after, how embarrassing! Not only did you just embarrass yourself in front of this older gentleman awhile ago, you did something so unlike you last night! Thank god this ojisan was a lot more calmer than you. He didn’t even look that perplexed or annoyed by your state at all.

He runs his hands through his soft blonde hair after and lets out a low groan.

“D-Does your head hurt, Nanami-san?”

“Yes.”

“I-would you-” you tried to stammer a few words out yet you're immediately cut off by his phone ringing.

Right, boundaries. You shouldn’t overstep them since you already did so much last night to disturb him despite you two being so out of it. You watch him as he answers his cell phone in a quick and suave manner, all traces of hungover gone, “Nanami speaking.” He greets as soon as he answers the call, “I understand. Please try to help them out and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

He ends the call and stands up, tightening his tie. Despite him spending the night here, he still looked orderly and it’s so unfair because right now, you knew you looked like absolute shit with the alcohol and booze in your system.

“I have to take my leave now. I apologize for intruding.” he bows down formally.

You’re pretty sure you were the one who intruded, his actions makes you immediately stand up despite the throbbing headache which was definitely a wrong move because the moment you did, you felt your legs giving out.

Great.

“I-sorry, I would bow…” You tried to stammer out an apology, ears bright red once again, just how much could you embarrass yourself in front of this gentleman?  “Sorry for the intrusion too Nanami-san.”

He leaves without saying anything much to your relief and as soon as you hear your front door close, you scream right at the pillow.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You muffled at the pillow.

Thank God you wouldn’t be seeing him ever again!

“L/N-sensei.”

You turn to find Maki and Megumi standing there, they were members of a rather elite family in Tokyo, Most often you avoided bumping shoulders with Megumi’s father since he was, well, quite a tease and although you do admit that Toji Zen’in is a very good-looking and fine man from a very good background, you couldn’t look past the fact that you taught his kids mathematics and there was a good fifteen year age gap between you two, “Hi there.” A warm smile dances on your lips, “Is this about the earlier math problem again?”

The question was directed to Maki, Megumi wasn’t one to ask questions about his lessons since he wasn’t fond of academics.

“Actually, it isn’t. Toji-ojisan says you should come to his birthday.” Maki shrugged, “He says his 40th birthday wouldn’t be complete if you weren’t there.”

Ah, that’s why Megumi didn’t want to go alone. The young boy’s cheeks are painted pink, clearly embarrassed by his father’s antics, “Ah,” You laughed, trying to play it cool. Despite his father’s relentless teasing, he had never made you feel uncomfortable. If he hadn’t been asking you out a few times, you’d consider him a friend, “Your otosan does love to joke around a lot doesn’t he, Megumi-kun?”

“I could deck him for you if you’d like, sensei. I swear that old man needs to realize that you’re way too young and good for him.” He mumbles the last part, clearly annoyed.

“Oh have you gotten married, L/N-sensei?” Maki cuts her younger cousin off suddenly, clearly surprised, “I thought you never had a boyfriend..or girlfriend...or a lover…”

“I- excuse me?” You sweatdrop, “Married, where?”

“Am I mistaken? You have a silver band on your ring finger at your left hand.” Maki points out, “Congrats sensei! It seems like Toji-ojisan won’t be bothering you anymore!”

You were too much in a frazzled state this morning that you hadn’t even noticed the ring band on your finger. You weren’t married, heck, you haven’t dated since college but where in the hell did you get this ring?

“L/N-san?” You’re snapped back to reality by a coworker, “We have two new enrollees, would you mind handling them since they’ll be added to your section?”

“Right,” You smile, “That’s my cue to leave. I’ll get going now. Enjoy your snack time.”

Before Maki could say anything more about the silverband on your ring finger, you scurried away to the faculty room, shaking that weird feeling off since you had to get back to work. 

Job first, ring later.

As you went in, two abnormally bleached pink hair stood out and you could immediately tell that they were going to be the new kids that you’d be teaching. You walk closer, realizing how much they looked alike despite the markings on the other.

“Hi, Good morning.” You greeted kindly, “You must be the new kids.”

“Ah,” the one with tattoo markings on his face gloated, “Aren’t you too bright?”

“Sukuna, shut up.” his twin frowned, “Sorry Sensei, My brother isn’t feeling so well since our ojisan had told us off before going to school.”

It seemed like the other twin would be a handful, nevertheless, you were still going to be his teacher so you let out a small smile, “It’s fine.” You waved off, “We all have bad days, don’t we? I’m L/N-sensei and I’ll be your homeroom and math teacher.”

“Hai.” The one without tattoos replied, enthusiasm leaking on his tone, “Itadori Yuuji and this is Itadori Sukuna, please take care of us.”

You watch Yuuji force his twin to bow down to show a sign of respect. For a high schooler, Sukuna and Yuuji’s parents seemed so lax, bleached hair and tattoos? That was definitely a first one on your list. You take a look at the data they passed and a small frown settles on your lips, it seemed like you had to take back the words you said earlier.

Both their parents had died a few years ago.

You cleared your throat and tried to put on the smile and enthusiasm from earlier, “I’ll be sure to introduce you to the class right after break and since it’s your first day I’ll be lax but please try not to go in late again.”

Yuuji’s grin remains the same as he agrees enthusiastically while Sukuna still looks mildly uninterested, something that you realize oh-so quickly that you’ll have to get used to.

After introducing the twins to the class, you settle on your desk at the faculty and peer at the ring on your finger. The only conclusion you could come up with was that this was from the older gentleman from the night before but why would he even give you a ring?

It didn’t even look cheap and it was surprisingly just your size, meaning it was definitely for you.

You inwardly let out a groan as you placed your hand on top of your eyes. God, you definitely needed to lay off the alcohol next time. You feel the phone in your pocket start to ring, peerlessly glancing at the unknown number. People really need to lay off the scam calls.

“Hello, I’m sorry I’m not-”

“Yo-ho, is this Y/N-chan?” The voice on the other line is so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time.

“Uh, who is this?”

“Is your husband with you?” the voice sounds so playful and teasing that you almost ignore what he had just said earlier.

“E-Excuse me?” You sputtered out, cheeks turning red, “I don’t have a husband.”

“Huh…” the playful voice switches to disappointment, “Don’t tell me you forgot what happened with us last night, L/N-chan.”

You feel something bubbling on your stomach, oh no, this definitely didn’t sound good!

“I- wait, what? who are you? What do you mean? what happened?” countless of questions started to pile up in your head and out of your mouth, panic immediately engulfing you because for a prank call this guy sounded way too legit, confirming your irresponsibility the night before. 

“Silly Y/N-chan. How could you ever forget me? I’m such an important person! I’m Gojo Satoru, your witness from your wedding!” 

taglist (if crossed out, i cant tag u im so sorry ack ;-;)

 ; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil​  ; @shephard17895​   @kristineyoshaii​ ; @airybnb​​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ;    ; ​

[mingiswow]

SKZ | They comfort you after a nightmare

Genre: Angst, fluff, slice of life

Warnings: mentions of cheating, death, and kidnapping, some curse words probably, some of the boys are older in their reactions. If I forgot anything let me know

⚠ English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any mistake, corrections are always welcomed.

➥ chan

It was rare the occasions where you went to the dorm, it was usually Chan who went to your house. Right then you were currently laid on the sofa of his studio, sleeping while he finished some songs. You started sweating, your body moving around uncomfortably, your breathing becoming erratic. “Y/N? Y/N! Babe… wake up. Babe, wake up!” your boyfriend started to shake you lightly, waking you up from the nightmare.

You looked around, grounding yourself and realizing where you were. Immediately you hugged the man in front of you. “Had a nightmare?”.

“You had left me because I was a waste of your time and you told me I was not good enough for you” you answered, not taking your head from his neck, a few tears leaving your eyes. “Hey! Don’t you dare think I’ll ever say those things to you! To think I’d think like that, okay? You are the most precious person in my life. Hell! I’d die to ever think about hurting you” his calloused thumb ever so gently caressing your cheek, wiping your tears.

You nodded. Kissing his lips. “C’mon. Let’s go home, aight? I’ll tuck us like a burrito and cuddle you all night and tell you how much I love you”.

“You’re cringe, Bang Chan”

“But you love me like that”.

➥ lee know

You couldn’t believe your eyes. It was him. It was your boyfriend kissing another girl right in front of you. You didn’t have a reaction, all you could do was cry. You fell to your knees, tears falling heavily from your eyes. Suddenly a hole opened on your feet and you fell into it like Alice fell into the rabbit hole.

Your body jolted from the bed, a silent scream leaving your mouth. “Y/N? Are you okay?” the raspy morning voice from your boyfriend sounded beside you, his hand caressing your back. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“You were cheating on me” you turned to look at him, his shirtless frame still lazily laid on the bed, a lazy smile on his lips. “You’re so cute when you’re pouty, you know?” he pulled you back on the bed, caging you on his arms, the warmth of his body soothing your own. “I love you, Y/N. Cheating you is the last thing I'd do to you. Now go back to sleep, and have wet dreams with me”.

“Lino-yah!” he giggled at your blushed form, kissing your lips before, bringing you back to his chest, and playing with your hair until you fell asleep.

➥ changbin

The warmth of his hand felt so comfortable against your cold ones. The snow was falling from the sky while you and your boyfriend decided to take a walk since everyone was in the comfort of their home, no one would see you.

But just as you turned a corner there they were, the paparazzi, the fansites, seasangs. Everyone was taking pictures of you two. Flashes got mixed with screams and you could barely see anything in front of you. You started calling your boyfriend’s name but with no answer.

And then you were naked. Naked in the cold winter air while everyone took pictures and laughed at you. “Changbin! Changbin! Changbin! CHANGBIN!”

“Babe… wake up. Y/N, love. I’m here. I’m here” the scene suddenly started to fade in your mind and you got back to your bedroom. The dim light coming from the bedside lamp barely illuminating your boyfriend, his broad silhouette being distinguished before he engulfed you in a hug. "’s okay. I’m here now, I’m not going anywhere”.

“They caught us, they were taking pictures” you whispered on his chest, feeling the way his body hugged you. “I don’t want to lose you” you felt his fingers start to caress your hair, giving you warmth and reassurance.

“Sh… You won’t lose me, okay? I’m here with you, no one will get us. And if they get I don’t fucking care. You’re my girlfriend and I love you. ‘Kay?” you nodded, laying your head on the pillow again, Changbin spooning you. “I love you too, Bin”

➥ Hyunjin

You fell asleep while watching your boyfriend practice the dance routine over and over again, the sound of his shoes rubbing and stepping on the floor flooding your ears and intoxicating your brains. The sound kept getting louder and louder as you opened your eyes and a giant version of your boyfriend was destroying the town with his dance moves.

You started to scream his name, trying to get his attention with no success. You decided the best way was to approach him like Ann Darrow did with King Kong. But when you tried to get to him, his left foot raised in the air and stepped on you, squashing you like in the cartoons.

“AAAAAAAHHHHHH” you lifted your head fast from the ground, hitting Hyunjin’s head.

“Ouch!” he rubbed his head laughing a little bit. “Please don’t try to kill me, I’m just trying to help you here” he looked at you, a playful smile on his lips. “You just took a nap and had a nightmare?” you nodded.

“You had transformed into this giant dancer that was destroying the town and squished me dead” he laughed at your pout. “Ok, Let’s go home miss damsel in distress. It’s getting late anyway” he helped you to get up from the floor, giving him a hug and a peck on his nose.

“For a giant, you are pretty cute and soft” he laughed at your comment, shaking his head and grabbing his stuff.

➥ Jisung

“I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT! YOU ARE SO STUPID, Y/N!”

“I didn't do anything” you started crying, still not knowing why he was screaming at you. “Please tell me what I did. I…”

“Stop playing dumb! You know what you did!” Jisung kept screaming at you while your tears kept falling from your eyes, a pool starting to form on your feet. In mere seconds you were drowning in your own tears, the air becoming scarce as you forgot how to breathe.

You woke up scared, shaking, crying, barely breathing. You looked at the empty spot in your shared bed, the fear starting to build in your chest again. Slowly you got out of bed, searching for your boyfriend and finding him in the kitchen, sneakily eating ice cream. “Oh… Hi babes” the guilty smile on his lips made you breathe more normally, you weren’t stuck in your nightmare anymore. “You okay?” he asked, handing you another spoon so you could join him.

“Had a nightmare. You were screaming with me and calling me names” you put the spoon in your mouth, pouting as you spoke and ate. “When I woke up you weren’t there. Got scared” he grabbed your cheeks and kissed your lips and forehead, wrapping you in a hug after.

“Sorry I wasn’t there, I woke up craving some ice cream” he laughed at himself. “But I’m here now, and I’ll never call you anything but sweet and cheesy words of love, ok?” you nodded, scenting his cologne on his neck. “Want more ice cream or cuddles to sleep?”

“Cuddles” you answered, smiling at him once you left his neck. “Your wish is my command ma’am” he hugged you from behind, guiding you two back to the bedroom between giggles and laughs.

➥ felix

“Y/N! Wake up. Are you listening?” your eyes widened open when you heard your husband’s voice. “It’s okay. I got you” he hugged you tight, caressing your back. “It’s just a nightmare, it’s normal”

“I was so scared it was real” you cried on his chest. The pregnancy screwing with your hormones. “They had taken the baby from us. They had stolen from us” the tears kept staining his pajama shirt. “Sh… Y/N, the baby is here, no one will take them from us” he left your embrace and held your face.

Wiping away your tears, he kissed you gently, his hands caressing the little bump starting to grow in your belly. “It was just a nightmare. They are right here, inside your beautiful body, full of love from their mommy and daddy, ok?” you nodded, looking at his hand. “I love you” he kissed your lips “this is our little family”.

You nodded, the sad tears turning into happy ones with the amount of love and joy your husband gave to you. “I love you too, Lixie”.

➥ seungmin

You ran like your life depended on it. Because it did. You screamed for Seungmin as you tried to run away from your evil clone, the wicked face looked so much like you but at the same time so different. You stopped suddenly when you hit on something.

“Oh thank God it’s you Seugmin! Please tak- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” you screamed at the top of your lungs when you felt him hit your chest with a knife.

“Y/N! What happened?” the boy by your side woke up with your scream, scared something bad might have happened to you.

“We shouldn’t have watched that movie” you hid your face in his neck, hugging his body and crying a little while he giggled at you. “Stop! It was scary! I was trying to get me and you were the one who hurt me” you pouted looking at the man, trying to do a puppy face.

“I told you we should not watch horror movies, you always get scared” he patted your head, kissing the top of it before bringing you both back to your lying position, hugging you tight to his chest. “And if I dare to hurt you one day, I will let you take revenge”.

➥ jeongin

You looked over at the people at your wedding reception, everyone having fun on the dance floor, your feet too hurt to actually move any longer. You watched as yours and Jeongin’s family got along, smiling at yourself for being so lucky.

Then your eyes landed on your now-husband and how he happily spoke to one of your cousins when he whispered in her ear, the woman giggling and nodding, her hands lingering a little too long on his arms, her long nails almost entering the fabric as she squeezed the place.

Tears started to fall from your eyes as you watched the scene unfold in front of your eyes and then you started running away from the place, from everyone. You could only hear the faint screams of your name by your husband. “Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! WAKE UP!”

Your eyes finally shot open, the place slowly starting to be visible in silhouettes by your eyes, the darkness of your bedroom embracing you. “Are you okay, sweetie?” the voice of your fiance sounding worried by your side. “Did you have a nightmare?” you nodded and hugged him.

“You and my cousin were flirting at our wedding and… and” you hiccuped the words as he soothed you.

“Y/N, I’d never do that. Do you hear me? You are my best friend, my lover, my partner,ever and the love of my life. I would never even do anything like that to hurt you”

“Promise?” you looked at him, not much being visible in the darkness. He nodded, whispering a soft promise against your lips, making your worries go away.

[fruitcoops]

So this is sort of similar to the people writing fanfic about the lions but can you imagine the YouTube edits? Like the videos that are just "Cap having heart eyes for Loops for 10 minutes straight" or "Loops lovingly dragging Caps name through the mud for 3 minutes" like those kinds of things and I can just imagine them doing reaction videos and it just being funny and the world just loving coops

Okay so this wasn't a specific fic request but I got carried away with imagining videos and....here you go. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Grace and Anna are mine! Bonus points to anyone who remembers the easter egg in this one!

Message From: Gracie

ANNA HOLY SHIT

Anna frowned at her phone screen, squinting to read around the spiderweb crack decorating the upper corner. She had tried to convince herself that it was cool, goth, edgy, but in the end she had to admit that it was just irritating. In a tragic turn of events, packing tape couldn’t fix everything.

Message To: Gracie

Wtf did I do

Two weeks of radio silence, then unexplained accusations. Anna shook her head as the grey bubble disappeared for a third time and turned back to her computer. Grace may have been her favorite cousin—and favorite person, if she was being honest—but very few things came between Anna and video editing. Especially editing for a Lions meme video. She had a whole 2,341 followers to attend to, after all.

Message From: Gracie

DID YOU SEE THE FUCKING INTERVIEW???

Message To: Gracie

Wow thank you so helpful

Message From: Gracie

Skip to 2:45 bestie

A link popped up just as Anna cut a segment from the sleep study video, where Loops’ heart eyes were in full effect. It was a rare, precious find for fan editors like herself.

“Come on,” she groaned. Maybe introducing Grace to the deepest parts of her hockey obsession was a mistake. But, really, what else was she supposed to do when she learned her cousin, who didn’t even live in Gryffindor, got to meet her favorite players just by chilling in a café? What kind of cosmic joke was that?

She narrowed her eyes at the embed of the link, then stifled a shriek. Impossible. How had she missed an upload?

As if on cue, her computer pinged with a new notification from the Lion Pride channel. “Oh, fuck me,” she muttered, scrambling to save her half-done video and pressing play.

The interviewer asked basic questions, ones she had heard the answers to a million times while curating her content. It always felt funny to hear people refer to Cap as ‘Sirius’—it was too official, too formal. She had spent countless hours on the compilations of his softer moments, and they were her most popular videos. Cap Having Heart Eyes for Loops for 10 Minutes Gay. Cap Being an Actual Puppy for Six and a Half Minutes. Everyone Wanting Cap Cuddles for Fifteen Minutes. Every Time Cap Smiles When Someone Mentions His Godson. The list was endless. She loved it.

She did a silent fist pump when she saw the interviewer had snagged both Cap and Loops; that would give her a whole new stream of workable content. If she was lucky, she could expand on her series of Loops Lovingly Roasting His Friends, part…fuck it, who was even counting anymore?

Anna was so caught up in her excitement that she nearly forgot about Grace’s suggestion. I’ve never skipped through a video on the first watch before, she thought hesitantly. But maybe just this once…

Her cursor hovered over the 2:45mark. She closed her eyes, and clicked it.

“—have you been adjusting to life as a celebrity?” the interviewer asked. Anna nearly rolled her eyes when Loops laughed. That question had been used far too often to be interesting anymore.

“It’s had its ups and downs,” Loops said with a smile. “Mostly, though, the fans have been incredible and just knocked my socks off with their support.”

“Really? What’s your favorite part of the Lions fanbase?”

He didn’t miss a beat. “Their creativity, for sure. There was a video a while back where we reacted to some of the comments people left, and this person on Twitter made an absolutely beautiful collage of photos.”

“I have it saved to my phone,” Sirius added.

One more clip for the simp video. Anna made a note on the small corner space of her European History notes. The degree can wait for ten more minutes.

“Do you have a favorite creator?”

The interviewer was clearly teasing, but Loops’ smile was genuine. “I don’t know about a favorite, but there’s this person on YouTube who makes a shit ton of videos and they’re hysterical. I saw one the other day about—god, what was it again?”

“Every time I smile when people mention Harry,” Sirius answered around a laugh. “Can you blame me?”

Anna didn’t hear the next question. A ringing noise filled her ears as she sat, frozen, on her shitty dorm mattress and listened to her literal heroes talk about her dorky little channel. “Holy fuck,” she blurted after a moment of silence. “Holy fuck.”

“—subscribed?” The man’s voice snapped her back to reality.

“Of course I am!” Loops said. “You think I’m passing up a chance to watch a compilation of my friends making stupid decisions for the entire internet to see?”

A noise that would have been a shriek if Anna had any breath left in her body escaped her lungs; she clamped a hand over her mouth and shakily exited from the video before going to her YouTube account. 800 new notifications. 700 new followers in the last quarter hour. She was pretty sure she blacked out for a second from sheer shock and joy.

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

You’re famous!

Message To: Gracie

What

Message From: Gracie

I bet he knows your stuff better than he remembers me tbh

“They know me,” she whispered, staring at her computer. The unfinished video showed a perfect frame of Loops’ soft smile as he watched Cap get his toothbrush stuck in his pajama shirt. Somehow, the thought was both exhilarating and horrifying. What if they thought she was a creep? She wasn’t, not really, just a bored college student with not enough free time for a job but too much to keep herself busy with schoolwork. Her 2,341—no, 3,052—followers were just other hockey nerds looking for time to kill.

And the subject of those videos was one of her subscribers.

Anna slipped her headphones back on and began to edit like it was her last day on earth. Her fingers flew across the keyboard on muscle memory while her brain fizzed. Perfect, she thought. It has to be perfect.

In four hours, it was done. She sat back, panting, then hunched over again and began tapping out a title card.

Hello. Idk if anyone saw the new Lion Pride video today (linked below if anyone wants to see why I’m dying right now) but apparently Remus Lupin is subscribed to this channel and has been for a while.

Hi Loops. I’m Anna. You met my cousin once and she said she liked your sweater.

Now that that’s out of the way, please enjoy the next five minutes of our new rookie being the sappiest mf in existence (except for his fiancé). Mr. Lupin, please tell Hattie I say hello.

She pressed upload, peeled her headphones off, and collapsed backward on her bed.

Message To: Gracie

If I die here, tell the world I did it doing what I loved

Message From: Gracie

Will do

OH FUCK YOU FOR BRINGING UP THE SWEATER I SOUND LIKE A CREEP

Anna covered her itchy eyes with her forearm and settled in for a long, long nap. Her brain still needed to repair a few circuits.

[cocobeanncteez]

ATEEZ Hongjoong: Tame (Part 3)

Genre: Fluff, angst, smut, mafia au.

Pairing: Mafia!Hongjoong x OC (written in 2nd person)

Word Count: 17k in total, 5k in this part. (Part 1, Part 2, Final Part)

Warnings for all parts combined: Mafia themes such as torture, abuse, violence, human auctions, murder, drugs, guns. Mentions of rape, human trafficking, sex slavery, organ trafficking, unprotected sex, pulling out, facesitting.

Three weeks later, you could pretty much call yourself a member of a mafia gang. Well, that's what you were now even if you were in slight denial.

You spent a lot of time with Ateez. Hongjoong taught you how to shoot like a pro, Jongho taught you how to defend yourself if you don't have a weapon, and Yeosang and Seonghwa taught you medical related stuff such as removing a bullet from a body and treating a gunshot wound. Yeosang also taught you the basics of hacking, but you sucked at it. San, Wooyoung, and Aeji taught you how to seduce a target, and you nearly died of embarrassment when you had to practice with Wooyoung as the target. Jiwoo pretty much gave you some of her bubbliness while she and Yeoreum taught you a bit about illegal international business deals. The three girls also told you a hell lot about their sex lives when you all had a girls' night a few days ago. On the other hand, Yunho and Mingi were just playing 'tossing Kiah' (as they call it), which was literally just them throwing and catching you like as if you were a ball. The giants found it extremely fascinating that you were an entire foot shorter than them. Sometimes, they would use the top of your head as an armrest.

Hongjoong bought you a phone, but unfortunately, you couldn't log into any of your social media accounts, or even your email as your cousin and uncle were searching for you and the culprits who made your cousin unconscious the night he was going to sell you.

"Kiah, do want some orange juice?" Mingi asked you from the kitchen while he poured himself a glass. You nod your head and he poured some for you too. Yeosang was there as well, busy eating fried chicken.

"Hey, Kiah?" Mingi called out, making you look up at him. "You never really told us about your parents." He handed you your juice.

"My mother died when I was a newborn," you replied, sipping on your juice. "My father... well, I rarely saw him after he made me live with my uncle. Now no one has seen him in months." Both the boys noticed how sad you were when you spoke about your father. You really wanted to see him; you didn't even know whether he was dead or alive.

"What's your father's name and age?" Yeosang questioned. "I could track him or at least find out if he's all right."

"Moon Dongwoo and he's 49 years old," you answered with a small smile. "Thank you, Yeosang." 

~

After about three hours, Yeosang approached you while you were talking to Aeji and some of the boys. He sat on the couch adjacent to you after briefly greeting everyone.

"So I tried to track your father, Kiah," Yeosang stated nonchalantly. "And I found absolutely nothing."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "Huh? What do you mean?"

"There are zero records of him," Yeosang explained, "Like no bank or property details… To put it in simple words, it's like as if he doesn't exist."

You frowned. "So he's… d-dead?"

"Don't know," Yeosang shrugged. "There are no death records either. There were a couple of men with the same name as him, but no one was 49 years old."

You pondered about it for a while. Why would your dad erase all traces of his existence? Even if he didn't, someone else did. But why?

"Wait," you blurted out. "Did you check with the police station? My dad is a cop."

San, who was listening to the conversation, nearly chokes on the sprite that he was drinking. "Your dad is a cop and you're here, living in a mafia gang's house?!"

"I know right?!" Yunho said from beside him and you only shrug in response.

"I checked the police station as well," Yeosang remarked. "Still no records."

Your eyebrows furrowed. "That's just strange. He's a cop, there has to be at least something about him at the police station."

"Hey, don't worry about it, Kiah," Yeosang said in a soft tone, giving you a reassuring smile. "We'll find him."

-

The next day after you woke up, you found everyone seated in the living room, lost in deep thought. You quietly sat beside Jiwoo, wondering whether you should ask why everyone is so quiet.

"That's not a bad idea, actually," Wooyoung said after glancing at you while you stared at him in confusion. What idea was he talking about?

"Yeah, it's a terrible idea," Hongjoong retorted, glancing at you as well.

"Kiah," Mingi starts, grabbing your attention. "What do you think about attending a masquerade party?"

"You mean a mafia masquerade party?" you emphasized.  

"Of course," he replied.

"Ah, it's cool, I guess?" you said nonchalantly; you were getting used to the mafia life, and you'd be lying if you said that you didn't like it.

"It's settled then," San stated, getting up from the couch and stretching his arms. "Kiah is Hongjoong's date for the party."

"Knew it," Jongho murmured.

"No," Hongjoong protested. "A lot of people saw her face at the auction. It's a terrible idea."

"Well, it's a masquerade party hosted by our ally," Seonghwa remarked. "No one will try shit even if they recognize her."

"Plus, we're all going to be there. We can't leave Kiah alone here," Yeoreum added and Jiwoo nodded her head in agreement.

Hongjoong sighed. "Fine."

~

"You look gorgeous, Kiah!" Aeji squealed after doing your makeup. Yeoreum just finished doing Jiwoo's hair and started doing your hair.

"Hongjoong won't be able to keep his hands to himself," Yeoreum remarked with a smirk, making you blush.

"I'm surprised he hasn't made a move yet," Aeji said.

"We all know he wants to," Jiwoo mumbled while taking a mirror selfie.

You chuckled. "Nothing has happened yet."

"Yet?" Yeoreum teased you, curling a strand of your hair with the curling iron. "So you want something to happen, huh?"

“I—”

"You obviously do."

You playfully rolled your eyes at her. "Don't accidentally burn my hair, Yeoreum!" The girls laughed at the sight of you getting flustered 

"Kiah, what are you planning on wearing?" Aeji asked.

"The black cocktail dress."

"No, you're not wearing that," she protests. "Wear the red dress Jiwoo got you last week."

You raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"You'll see," she smirked.

~

After all of you got ready and slipped into your respective outfits, you went downstairs where the boys were waiting.

As soon as Hongjoong saw you, his lips parted slightly as he scanned you from head to toe. You were wearing a short, strapless red dress that fit your body perfectly, hugging your curves and exposing your highlighted collarbones. You wore silver wedges that matched the silver necklace around your neck. Your long hair was curled and your makeup was simple yet elegant.

"Hongjoong's favorite color is red, by the way. Thank me later," Aeji whispered to you, giving you a wink before she ran into Seonghwa's arms. So that's why she forced you to wear a red dress. You snorted at Aeji's words before your eyes landed on Hongjoong. He looked absolutely ethereal in his black ripped jeans and white t-shirt underneath the leather jacket he was wearing. You expected to see the guys in suits, considering it was a masquerade event, but it looked like you all were going to a club instead. Oh well, maybe this is how the mafia rolls.

You heard someone clear their throat. "Um, if you're both done eye-fucking each other, can we leave? We're getting late," San commented and Jiwoo laughed loudly at her boyfriend's words. The other eight already left and you wondered how you didn't even notice.

Hongjoong doesn't utter a word; he only approaches you and takes your hand in his, leading you to the garage. You, Hongjoong, Jiwoo, and San were riding in the same car.

San begun driving and the car was filled with Jiwoo gushing about how she loved going for Stray Kids' parties. San told you about how Wooyoung introduced Ateez to his friend, Changbin, and that's how Ateez met the rest of Stray Kids.

After a while, you reached Stray Kids' mansion. The exterior was lit up with blue and yellow lights.

Jiwoo handed you a pretty silver eye-mask and you put it on; Hongjoong wore a red mask, Jiwoo wore black, and San wore gold.

"Alright, let's party!" Jiwoo squealed, pulling San along with her, practically running inside.

Hongjoong wrapped an arm around your waist as he led you inside Stray Kids' mansion, scanning the crowd to see if he could find any of his allies.

"Ah, Hongjoong!" you heard someone say, catching your attention. Hongjoong's arm leaves your waist to hug that person.

"Chan! It's been so long, yeah?"

"Very," he agreed before glancing at you. "I see you've got yourself a girl."

Hongjoong chuckled. "This is Moon Kiah. Kiah, this is Bang Chan, the leader of Stray Kids." Chan stretched his hand out and you shake it.

While Hongjoong spoke to Chan, Jiwoo dragged you away to get a drink. You wondered how hyper she would be when drunk, considering the fact that she was already pretty hyper when sober.

Jiwoo got a couple of tequila shots and you only downed three.  "Only three?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah," you answered with a small giggle. "I have very bad alcohol tolerance."

Jiwoo took her own shots before Wooyoung dragged the two of you to introduce you to the other members of Stray Kids. You were seriously shocked by how young and polite these men were, despite being in the mafia.

"So whose girl is she gonna be now?" Changbin asked.  

"She's Hongjoong's girl," Wooyoung answered, and you giggle at that, already a little drunk.

"Mhmm, yeah, I'm Hongjoong's girl, hi!" you squealed before realizing that Jiwoo suddenly wasn't there anymore. "Where's Jiwoo?" you pouted  

"Probably would've found someone to talk to or she's in some room with San," Wooyoung replied. "Anyway, let's get you to Hongjoong, little one."

"I'm here," you heard a familiar voice say behind you, making you jump a little before you turned around. "Kim Hongjoong, you…” you trailed off, admiring his face even though half of it was covered with the mask. "You're so fucking hot, like what the actual fuck?!"  Wooyoung and Changbin laughed loudly before they walked away, leaving you alone with a slightly stunned Hongjoong.

"How much did you drink, hmm?" Hongjoong asked, looking down at you with soft eyes. You gave him a loving smile while your arms moved to wrap around his neck.

"Three tequila," you mumbled before you suddenly squealed. The DJ started playing one of your favorite songs. "Dance with me," you whispered in Hongjoong's ear, pulling his body closer to yours.

Hongjoong danced with you for a little while, holding you close to his body so that you wouldn't trip and fall in your 5-inch heels. After the song ended, he pulled you to a less crowded area to sit on the sofas. Your heartbeat sped up when Hongjoong made you sit on his lap instead of the free space beside him. You wrapped an arm around his neck while your other hand ran through his soft hair.

"What's wrong with that guy?" you whispered in Hongjoong's ear, glancing at a green-masked guy who was sitting near you, all alone on the floor, staring at the ceiling with a huge smile.

"Probably took LSD," Hongjoong remarked after taking a quick glance at the man.

"Oh," you murmured. "He's a really bad boy. You shouldn't take drugs. Okay, pretty boy?" Hongjoong raised an eyebrow, amused by the tipsy side of you. He chuckled prettily in your ear, pulling you even closer to him.

"I don't do drugs, love." He places his cold hand on the skin right above your knee. "I'm a good boy," he whispered in a low tone. Hongjoong could clearly see how much he affected you.

"Liar," you whispered in his ear. You place a kiss right below his ear before trailing kisses along his jawline. You stopped at his chin and pulled away. When his eyes met yours, you leaned in, finally pressing your lips against his. He responded immediately, kissing you back like as if there was no tomorrow. You've never been kissed with such intensity before.  Hongjoong's hand that was just above your knee, began to move upwards. You weren't drunk, just tipsy, so you knew what was happening; you were starting to feel really excited as his hand went higher and higher.

You heard someone clear their throat. "Kim Hongjoong?"

Hongjoong halted his actions and pulled away from you to look up at the woman who interrupted him. She had orange colored hair and was wearing a dark blue eye mask.

"Oh? Royeon?" he got up from his seat, making you stand up along with him. He sounded a little excited, and that made you feel a little jealous. Who was she?

Royeon smirked. "New girl, huh?"

Hongjoong ignored her comment. "Kiah, this is my friend, Royeon."

She snorted. "Friend? I'm quite offended by that title, Joongie." she pouts a little before turning to you. "I'm his first love."

You kept a pokerface on. "That's nice. It’s a pleasure to meet you," you said nonchalantly, trying not to sound bothered about the fact that Hongjoong's first love was standing right in front of your face. She was giving you a bad vibe and you absolutely hated how she was undressing Hongjoong with her eyes. You couldn't deny that you had strong feelings for Kim Hongjoong and you were planning on telling him pretty soon.

You turned to Hongjoong with a small smile on your face. "I'm gonna go get a drink," you said, purposely giving him a kiss that lasted a little longer than it should before you left him alone with his previous lover.

You didn't get a drink. Instead, you went outside, exploring the lit up garden in Stray Kids' mansion. The mansion was a little smaller than Ateez's mansion, but was extremely beautiful nonetheless.

You walked to one of the trees that was lit up with blue lights, taking out your phone to take a few pictures of yourself.

"So Yang Daeyoung hasn't been spotted anywhere?" you heard someone say.

"No," another person replied. "He probably escaped to another country or died.”

"What about his child?" the first person asked.

"No one knows what he or she looks like. Anyway, we have to find Yang Daeyoung and his child before another gang does. I heard many gangs are still searching for him… especially Ateez and CIX. We need to get all that information before them."

You were suddenly really interested in whatever the two people were talking about. You mentally reminded yourself to ask one of the Ateez members about this Yang Daeyoung guy later.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing all alone here?" you heard someone say behind you, words slurred.

You turned to face the man who was in a green eye-mask. "Taking pictures as you can clearly see," you answered the clearly drunk man.

He smirked. "I'm Jinseop," he introduced. "And your attitude is really fucking turning me on, babygirl."

"I didn't ask," you stated, rolling your eyes.

He took a step towards you and you didn't move an inch. "You know," he starts, placing a hand on your shoulder while he towered over you. "I heard Stray Kids have a few spare rooms here. How about we go upstairs and—"

"Get your fucking hands off her."

Jinseop rolled his eyes, not even glancing at the person.

"Now," the person growled. He froze when he finally realized who was talking to him.

"O-Oh, I'm sorry," he apologized and quickly walked away, leaving you quite stunned.

"Wow, Kim Hongjoong," you remark in amusement after a few seconds. "You scared someone."

Hongjoong doesn't say anything. He only walked towards you, and you involuntarily took a step back, making your back press against the cold surface of a wall. Hongjoong towered over your short height and you could tell he loved how small you looked next to him.

He cupped your cheek with one hand and places his lips against yours, gently kissing you before trailing kisses down to your neck. Your hands immediately went up to grab his hair while he started to suck and kiss the skin of your neck, making you moan softly. He smirked against your skin, absolutely loving how he was the one who was making you feel good. He brought his lips back to yours, kissing you a little harder than before while his hands moved down to your ass, grabbing it through the fabric of your dress. You gasped at his actions and he takes that opportunity to slide his tongue in your mouth. He pulled away after a few seconds.

"You're all mine, Moon Kiah."

-

Hongjoong led you back inside and you immediately spot his ex-girlfriend who was trying to hit on an unbothered Yunho.

"Yunho," Hongjoong called out and the man looked at him. Royeon's attention was also now on the two of you. "Where are the rest? We have to leave soon."

"I have no clue," Yunho answered.  "Yeoreum just took Mingi to the bathroom. The man drank way too much."

You noticed Royeon glaring at you, her eyes flickering between your neck and Hongjoong's messed up hair; you realized that he probably left a nice mark on your neck. You smirked, loving her annoyed reaction. You wrapped your arms around Hongjoong's waist and he smiled at you, draping an arm around your shoulders. Yunho controlled the urge to laugh once he realized what you just did.

Royeon cleared her throat. "So Hongjoong, did you get any news on Yang Daeyoung?" You felt Hongjoong stiffen a little.

"No," Hongjoong simply replied.

She chuckled. "Oh well. That must really suck for you since all... that happened, huh?" You could tell Hongjoong was going to lose his temper. You were extremely curious about this person, considering the fact that you've heard about him twice in less than an hour. "I bet you're dying to capture him. You would've planned so much to—"

"That's none of your business, Royeon," Yunho stated in a cold tone, cutting her off.

She raised her hands up defensively. "What I'm trying to say is I'd like to help."

"We don't need your help," Hongjoong spat through gritted teeth and Royeon was taken aback. You wondered why she looked shocked; was Hongjoong a complete sweetheart to her or something when they were together?

She cleared her throat, clearly offended. "Alright… come over to my place whenever you want me, Hongjoong," she said with a smirk before she walked away. You scoffed at her words and tightened your hold around Hongjoong who was quite amused by your reaction.

He put a finger under your chin to make you look up at him. "Maybe I should take up her offer, hmm?"

You scowled. "Don't even think about it, Kim Hongjoong. You're mine."

"Say that again, baby."

"You're mine."

Hongjoong crashed his lips onto yours and you kiss him back immediately, loving the feeling of his soft lips moving with yours.

"Oh, they're finally doing something," you heard Jongho say.

"Yeah, I was so tired of hearing Hongjoong whine everyday about how badly he wanted to kiss her," Seonghwa remarked, and you smile against Hongjoong's lips. You pulled away from the kiss, smiling widely at a blushing Hongjoong.

You turned your head to look at Seonghwa. "He was whining about that?" you asked in amusement.

"Oh, yeah, all the time," he answered with a chuckle.

A drunk Wooyoung laughed loudly. "That's not all! Hyung was also complaining about how Hongjoong junior was aching for—" Hongjoong smacked his palm over Wooyoung's mouth, stopping him from exposing him.

"Hey, let him complete," you stated, amused by the whole situation. Hongjoong shook his head in disagreement.

"We have to leave," Hongjoong changed the topic. "Yunho, go get Mingi and Yeoreum. Seonghwa, call San and Yeosang."

"Yeosang's getting some upstairs after so long," Yunho revealed. "He'll be shit pissed if you guys interrupt him."

Wooyoung chuckled. "After so long? He got pussy last week! And he's with the same blonde chick upstairs."

"No wonder he was the most excited to come here," Jongho mumbled.

Hongjoong rolled his eyes. "Well, I want to leave now. Anyone else wants to come?"

"Hyung, you and Aeji can go," Yunho said to Seonghwa. "Aeji's really tired. I'll come with the rest."

Seonghwa nodded and the four of you leave first, walking to one of three cars. Seonghwa had to drive after losing a game of rock-paper-scissors to Hongjoong.

After he began driving, you wanted to ask who this Yang Daeyoung guy was, but you thought now didn't seem like an appropriate time; you didn't want to interrupt the peaceful silence in the car.

You were feeling quite drained out, so you rested your head on Hongjoong's shoulder, trying your best to not fall asleep.

“Sleep, Kiah,” he mumbled, bringing your body closer to his. “I’ll wake you up when we reach,” he said, although he had no plans of doing that.

“Okay…” you closed your eyes, sleep taking over your body within a few minutes.

Hongjoong placed a soft kiss on your head. “I love you…”

5 months later.

As soon as Hongjoong came back home from his mission and stepped into your bedroom, you ran into his arms. “I missed you so much!” you mumbled against your boyfriend’s chest while he embraced you.

You started dating Hongjoong around three months ago when he finally got the courage to confess that he fell in love with you. To his relief, you were just as head over heels in love with him. The boys sometimes refer to you as ‘the one who tamed his temper’ as Hongjoong didn’t get annoyed very often anymore. You had also grown used to the mafia life, and you often found yourself enjoying it more than you should. You knew almost everything about the boys and the world you were now a part of. They even let you go on missions, sometimes letting you go solo. Hongjoong was always a little hesitant as he was scared something would happen to you, but he was getting used to it.

“I was only gone for a week, love,” Hongjoong chuckled and you sighed.

“It felt like years.” You pulled away from his chest to look at him. You pecked his lips before moving to sit on your bed, your boyfriend mirroring your actions.

“I got you a lot of chocolates,” he said, reaching out to grab your hand, intertwining it with his own. “I’ve kept them in the fridge.”

You smiled, lying down while you played with Hongjoong’s hand. “It’ll get over in two days,” you stated, knowing the boys would finish it before you could even grab a piece.

“Then I’ll go back and get you more.”

“I’d rather you stay here with me,” you mumbled, arms reaching out to hug your boyfriend. Hongjoong settled in your embrace, burying his face in the crook of your neck. Your hand moved to his hair, playing with his strands. Hongjoong couldn’t help but place a kiss on your sensitive neck, causing a chill to run down your spine. He began placing more kisses on your neck, smirking when he felt you grab a fistful of his hair. He trailed kisses from your neck to your jaw and finally to your lips.

“I love you,” he murmured, moving to hover above you. Cupping your cheek, Hongjoong gazed at you with nothing but love and adoration, making your heart race.

You grinned at his words, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you too.” You pulled him into a kiss which he eagerly responded to. Lips moving with yours, Hongjoong took your bottom lip between his teeth, gently sucking on it before licking your lip as a way of asking for permission. You parted your lips wider, letting him slide his tongue inside your mouth. Your tongues danced in a slow rhythm while Hongjoong rolled his hips against yours, making you moan. You gently pushed him away, making him look at you with a worried gaze, thinking he went too far. But you pushed him further, making him lie down on his back before you straddled his hips. Your hands pulled your t-shirt over your head, tossing it onto the floor. Hongjoong’s eyes moved to your bra clad chest. You reached behind your back to unclasp your bra, letting it fall from your chest.

“Can I touch you?” he asked. You took his hands, placing them on your chest in response. Hongjoong gently squeezed your boobs, thumbs running over your hardened nipples. He sat up a little so that his face could reach your chest. He placed kisses on your sternum before taking one of your nipples in his mouth, gently sucking on it, licking the small bud. He mirrored his actions for your other nipple, and your back arched in pleasure. When he pulled away, you immediately crashed your lips onto his in a hungry kiss. You involuntarily grinded down on his hard-on, a groan leaving his throat. Hongjoong’s hands moved to your hips, helping you move faster on his bulge.

“I want you, Joong,” you moaned out, making him get harder.

“Are you sure, baby?” he asked.

“Yeah. I want you to fuck me. Please,” you begged. You weren’t a virgin, but this was going to be your first time with Hongjoong.

He only smiled, halting your movements on his bulge. “Let me prep you, baby. Sit on my face.” You got off his lap to take your jeans off along with your panties. Hongjoong also stripped out his clothes, leaving himself bare in front of you for the first time. You involuntarily bit your lip, taking in the sight of his thick, hard cock. He looked absolutely irresistible.

Hongjoong climbed back onto the bed, lying down while he waited for you to straddle his face.

“Are you sure about this?” you asked, a little hesitant to put your weight on his face.

“Don’t worry, baby,” he chuckled. “Sit comfortably.”

You lowered yourself onto his face, making sure you didn’t put all of your weight on him. Hongjoong's hands gripped your ass, pulling you closer to his mouth. He wasted no time in lapping at your slit, collecting your wetness on his tongue. He moaned at your sweet taste, tongue dipping into your hole, his nose pressing onto your clit. He moved his mouth to latch onto your clit, giving your nub a few sucks before moving back to your hole. “Fuck!” you moaned, hands reaching down to grasp his hair while he fucked you with his tongue. You felt the familiar knot forming and you warned Hongjoong that you were close. He licked up and down your slit, lapping at your clit, pushing you to your high. You moaned out his name while you came on his face and he wasted no time in licking up your juices, a drop rolling down from his lips. When you moved your pussy away from his face, you got wetter at the sight of his lips glistening with your juices.

You moved down his body to return the favor, but he stopped you. “I’ll let you do that another time, babe. But now I really need to be inside of you.” Hongjoong sat up, piling pillows behind him before leaning back on it. “Are you on the pill?” he asked while pumping his cock.

“No…”

He groaned. “I don’t have condoms on me right now. They’re in my room.”

“It’s okay, you can just pull out,” you stated.  

“Are you sure, my love?”

“Mhmm.” You moved to straddle his lap, aligning his cock with your entrance. You sank down on his length, the stretch making you whimper. Once Hongjoong was fully inside of you, you placed your hands on his abs, slowly moving yourself up and down on his cock, coating it with your arousal. Hongjoong bucked his hips up to meet yours half-way. You leaned down to kiss him while you rolled your hips against his. You pulled away and smiled at him before you increased the pace. Your hands reached back to grab his thighs while you rode him. Hongjoong watched your boobs bounce along with you, the sight making him groan. When Hongjoong felt himself getting close, he switched positions, slipping out of you, making you whine. He only giggled, leaning down to peck your lips before he gripped your waist. Without any warning, he slammed his cock into you, making you gasp, your walls clenching violently around him while he fucked you hard and raw.

You gripped the bedsheets beneath you, feeling the knot forming in your lower area. “J-Joong… I—”

“I know, baby, I’m close too,” he groaned out, his thrusts getting sloppy. “You’re taking me so well, fuck.”

Hongjoong moved one hand down to your clit, his fingers rubbing your nub in circular motions. You screamed his name when your second orgasm washed over you. Hongjoong pulled out immediately, spilling onto your stomach. You reached out to pump his cock, milking him dry. Hongjoong collapsed beside you, body coated in a thin layer of sweat, hair sticking to his forehead. He pulled you into a sweet kiss a few seconds later.

“That was amazing,” he murmured against your lips. You smiled, placing a soft kiss on the tip of his nose. “Let’s clean up, hmm? Shower with me?” You nodded, letting him carry you to the bathroom.

[afriendlyblackhottie]

Gorgeous

Summary: You’d spent the last year and a half pretending to hate Ransom Drysdale. One Christmas trip could break that facade.

Pairings: Ransom Drysdale x Plus Size!Black!Reader (though it’s pretty inclusive. It’s just what I had in my head when I wrote it)

Warnings: And there was only one bed, enemies to lovers, fluff, smut, swearing, secret crush, daddy kink

Words: 7K

(A/N: Yes. I pretty much wrote a Hallmark movie. Yes it is also based on Gorgeous by Taylor Swift because I’d also hate Ransom Drysdale for making me fall in love with his stupidly handsome face. No I will not be taking questions.)

Tagging: @titty-teetee @queenoftheworldisdead @olyvoyl @liquorlaughslove​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @mariahthelioness29 @donutloverxo @navybrat817​ @stargazingfangirl18​ @hqneyyincc​ @iam-laiya​ @zaddychris​ @emjayewrites​

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Contrary to popular belief, you didn’t hate Ransom. Sure, his smug smile made you want to punch him in the face sometimes. But you kind of liked the vein that popped out on the side of his head when you did something to irritate him. Or the way he rolled his eyes at you when you did something to annoy him. And you annoyed him a lot. It was like you couldn’t help yourself.

To be honest you kind of like those things too much. Not that you’d ever admit it out loud. Imagine everyone finding out that you had some little primary school like crush on this asshole. Down to the point where you’d push him into sand to prove that you didn’t like him in the slightest.

Since your best friend was marrying his best friend, you were spending way too much time with him. You thought you’d done a good job at convincing Monica, your best friend, that you absolutely couldn’t stand him. She seemed to buy it since every eye roll was appropriately placed anytime you thought you might laugh at one of his rude jokes.

So, when your best friend asked you to accompany her and her fiancé to visit his family, you were positive. It might be nice seeing how these super rich people did the holidays. You’d met them a few times and they’d been super nice. Nothing like how Ransom or your own boyfriend’s family came off as stuck up as hell. Also, you were kind of dying to see the decor.

Until that day came. “I’m sorry!” Ava said for the millionth time since she’d told you the news when she’d FaceTimed you. That not only was Ransom coming, you’d have to ride with him in his Beemer because she’d packed more than she’d expected and there’d be no more room in Simon’s car.

You groaned softly, wrinkling up your nose. Your cats rubbing themselves against you because they knew you were leaving and loved to get all needy when you did that. You were already having a hard morning so this was kind of the last thing that you needed. “Maybe I shouldn’t go,” you suggested, even though you were supposed to be leaving in about five minutes.

She pouted. “But I need you there so I won’t be bored.”

“You know David,” your own boyfriend who was not going with you because he had to work and also because you weren’t sure he’d be your boyfriend by the time you came home, “hates Ransom.” It still made for a good excuse, though.

“What he won’t know, won’t kill him?” She shrugged. “Look it won’t even be that bad! It’s just the car ride.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, for four hours.��

“Just do this for me,” she whined. “Please. I’d do it for you.”

“Fine, but next time my boss has one of those boring dinners at his house, I’m making you go with me.”

She gasped. “Deal!”

There was a honk outside and it was safe to say who it was. You rolled your eyes. “You’re so lucky I love you because I’m already annoyed.” You peeked outside the window to see him aggressively honking.

Fucking asshole.

Once you’d hung up with Ava, you grabbed your bags so you could hurry out of the house. Luckily David was already at work so you didn’t have to explain to him why you were getting in the car with him. Ransom seemed to like getting under his skin, which you’d noticed is what he did to most people. Including you, but it seemed to be for a different reason than most people had.

“Hey,” you greeted him, as you struggled to carry your stuff to the trunk. Even though you were trying to keep this facade up, you didn’t want to be rude.

“Can you hurry? We’re on a strict timeline, Buttercup.”

You hated when he called you that. “First, don’t call me that. Second, maybe I’d finish sooner if you’d help.”

There was this smirk on his lips as he finally opened up his car door so he could take one of the bags out of your hands and then the others. “Did you pack your entire closet?” He asked as he tried to make it all fit in the trunk.

“I have a lot of needs,” you retorted.

“That’s probably why you need that sugar daddy, huh,” he said. This is why David didn’t like him. Okay yeah maybe you’re twenty-six with a forty-seven-year-old boyfriend. Sure, he brought you nice things, but what was wrong with that.

“He’s my boyfriend,” you made a point to emphasize. You weren’t going to tell Ransom Drysdale that you were with your boyfriend because he was your daddy dom. That’d be fucking stupid.

“Look, sugar daddy boyfriend whatever,” he said, dismissing you. “I just think you should pack lighter.”

“Whatever. Aren’t we on a tight schedule or something?” You rolled your eyes before going over to the passenger seat.

“Hey, hey, hey!” He stopped you to open the door himself. “I don’t need you to scratch my shit. You have to handle with care.”

You tried not to laugh which made you bite your bottom lip instead making you taste the mint chapstick you’d just put on. “You’re such a control freak,” you said, having to brush passed him so you could sit.

He didn’t say anything as he closed it gently.

The ride had been pretty boring so far. You yawned a few times. Wiggled in your seat trying to get comfortable. He surprisingly pulled over to get you coffee and even got you your blanket so you could curl up at some point.

If you weren’t trying to hate him, you may have swooned. He also said it’s because he didn’t feel like hearing you complain so maybe less swooning anyway. You reached for the radio and he smacked your hand away. “Ow!” You gasped.

“I’m just fucking with you.” He laughed, glancing over as you glared at him.

“Dick,” you mumbled under your breath as you reached forward again to change the station.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I said you’re a dick,” you repeated, sitting down as a song you liked started playing.

He groaned. “I hate this song.”

“Too bad,” you snickered.

“Need I remind you that this is my car, Buttercup?”

You narrowed your eyes at him because he called you that damn nickname. “Whatever. At least it wasn’t that Dad stuff you listen to.”

“Should you really be the one making fun of Dads?” He laughed.

“Hey! David doesn’t even want kids.”

He raised his eyebrow. “You don’t?” He asked looking genuinely surprised at that.

“I mean... maybe. I don’t know.” You shrugged. “Do you?”

“Well, I hate kids, but maybe for the right women. Who knows?” He once again took a quick glance at you, with this small dorky smile on his face.

That was surprising. You felt yourself starting to get to where your heart was swelling in your chest. “Why are we talking about this, you weirdo.”

He chuckled as you cross your arms in front of your chest as you looked out the window.

For the rest of the car ride only the music filled the silence. You wanted to say something. Thought about at least trying. Every time you started to open your mouth no sound came out.

You’d look at him while he focused on the road. Just because you couldn’t like him didn’t mean you couldn’t look at him, right? Though it was bothering you that there was a hole in his cashmere sweater.

“I’ll open your door,” he said getting out. You waited for him to open your side, but you heard the trunk pop open. You turned around watching him take out your four bags along with his. How the fuck was he so strong.

He opened up your car door finally. “Do you want me to take some?” You asked him with a frown as he closed the door with his elbow.

“It’s okay,” he replied already walking off. You scurried behind him trying to catch up.

Ava and Simon were right behind you. Ave got out and went to hug you. “See I told you it wouldn’t be so bad,” she said. “Wait why is Random holding all your stuff?”

You shrugged. “He insisted.”

“Weird,” she replied.

Simon’s family was pretty nice, but they were so busy doting on the happy couple you were kind of ignored. It was actually kind of nice because when you met David’s family, they pretty much scrutinized everything you did. His mother was honestly the bane of your existence. Like, lady, if your son hadn’t had a kid by now how was that your fault.

That was another thing that made you treat Ransom the way you did. You’d met Linda a few times now and she already hated you. You could only imagine how she was towards his girlfriends. You’d only seen the tip of the iceberg of the insanity of the Thrombeys, though Harlan had been nice every time you’d met him.

“Okay, so, it turns out that one of Simon’s cousins decided to come at last minute and uh,” Ava took a deep breath, “you two have to share a room okay, bye!” She tried to grab Simon’s hand, but you managed to catch her first.

“What,” you said a little too loudly so you lower your voice, “the hell, Ava.”

“You’re shitting me,” Ransom groaned.

“It won’t be so bad just think of it as a sleepover. Maybe he can paint your nails and you two can do face masks together,” she started rambling off.

You weren’t as amused. “Or maybe me and you could share.”

“Hell no! I’ve slept in a bed with you. You’re a cuddler.” She frowned. “Besides I wanna sleep with my boo.”

“You’re the worst best friend ever,” you told her. “Fine, but he’s sleeping on the floor.”

“Like hell I am,” Ransom said.

“I have a boyfriend!” You reminded them. “I can’t sleep in a bed with another guy. Especially Ransom.”

He raised an eyebrow. “We’ve been over this, Buttercup. You don’t have a boyfriend; you have a sugar daddy.”

You huffed. “Alright that’s it I’m calling an Uber.”

“And paying a hundred bucks to get home?” Ava rolled her eyes. “Come on just tough it out.”

“I hope you know that I hate you now,” you told her.

“Good. We’ll work it out in couple’s therapy.”

—————

The first night was awful. It felt like you couldn’t sleep. While Ransom seemed to sleep like a baby on the other side of the wall of pillows, you’d built between the two of you.

Even when you’d tried to move away from him, he’d just hold you in place. At some point you just had to accept your fate. At least you were cozy. So, you just kind of let it happen because who knows if this could again. When you actually woke up, he was already gone. You were neatly tucked under the comforter.

As you were finishing up your face routine and making yourself look presentable, Ransom was coming back in. You’d never seen him with sweats on before because he was usually such a preppy asshole, but he looked good. “Morning.”

“Morning,” you mumbled.

“How’d you sleep?” He asked.

You raised an eyebrow. “Why? You didn’t do something did you?”

“Me? Never?” He smirked before walking passed you and into the bathroom.

You walked through the house, taking in the way everything was beautifully decorated for the holiday. Honestly this place was house porn. “Good morning!” Simon’s mom, Trish, greeted you as you walked into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” you replied with a grin.

“Did you sleep okay?”

You nodded. “Yeah, it was perfect,” you answered.

“Breakfast will be ready soon so why don’t you go wake up Simon and Ava.”

You nodded. “Yeah of course.” God they were too nice. Maybe you need to be around rich people more often.

Oh wait, no. David’s family came from money and they were awful. Also see Ransom.

Simon had come to answer the door, freshly showered. Ava was just coming out of the bathroom. “Morning,” he said.

“Morning. Your mom said breakfast is going to be ready.”

He nodded. “Okay. Babe, you ready?”

“You go ahead,” she told him. “Y/N, c’mere.”

You and Simon exchanged looks and he shrugged. “Guess I’ll get Ransom.”

Ava waited until he was completely out of the room before motioning for you to close the door. “So,” this shit eating grin appeared on her face, “how was it?”

“How was what?”

“Sleeping with Ransom.” She rolled her eyes dramatically. “How was it?”

You shrugged. “We put a pillow wall up.” You really didn’t want to mention the cuddling.

“What? That’s it?” She groaned. “I always thought he’d be a bed hog.”

“I stayed on my side, he stayed on his.”

“That’s boring. I at least thought you’d have something to talk shit about.” She sighed. As far as you knew her and Ransom got along. She just found it super entertaining how you bitched about him.

The two of you went to sit in the dining room, waiting for everyone else. Trish sat down not to long after bringing the two of you mimosas. “Oh my gosh thank you!” Ava said getting up to hug her mother-in-law.

“Of course, Sweetheart.” She grinned. “So, Y/N, how long have you and Ransom been together?” She winked, bringing her champagne flute to her mouth. “I always said that Ransom just needs to find a sweet girl to settle down with. Maybe melt down that cold exterior he puts up. You know he really is a sweet boy.”

It was a good thing you hadn’t even been able to take a sip because you probably would have choked on it. “Her and Ransom aren’t together,” Ava answered before you could.

Her jaw dropped. “Oh, I just thought because you were fine sharing a room.”

You shook your head. “It’s okay.”

Ransom took a seat beside you while Simon sat on the other side of Ava. Trish looked between the two of you because this table was huge and Ransom could have sat anywhere else. He could have sat on the other side of Simon if he’d wanted to.

Breakfast went by pretty uneventfully, though the pancakes the housekeeper made were kind of to die for. “So, what are you kids planning for today?” Simon’s dad, Warren, asked as plates started being cleared away.

“Well, Ava’s never been ice skating,” Simon said.

“That’ll be fun,” Trish said. To be honest you were kind of nervous about ice skating. You’d done it before, but ate shit hard. “Is this your first time, too?” She asked you.

“No,” you replied. “I’m not very good at it, though.”

“I’m sure Ransom can help you,” she said with a grin.

Ransom groaned softly beside you. “Yeah of course.”

  As soon as you got on the ice you could feel yourself going down. Ransom grabbed onto you to hold you up. “Don’t eat shit on me already,” he said with a smirk on his face.

“If I go down, I’m taking you with me,” you snap back at him.

He rolled his eyes. “Let’s just get this over with.”

It was a good thing you’d bought these leggings that were fluffy on the inside and this jacket you were wearing was cozy because it was freezing out here. Ransom had to

At some point you kind of started to think that you had the hang of it. Like maybe you could actually do it. He started to slowly let go of you, but the minute you started to feel unsteady he’d grab your hand. “Thanks.”

“No problem,” he said sighing softy. He stood for a minute holding your hand so he could skate with you to the middle of the rink. “Hey can we talk about something. Really quick?”

You nodded. “Sure.”

“Hey, so,” he looked down at you with this almost nervous look on his face. “There’s been something I wanted to say, but I wasn’t really sure how to before.”

You nodded. “Yeah, what’s up.”

“Um,” he sighed. “Well, okay, so I-“ well he didn’t get to finish as this asshole barreled into you. “Y/N!”

You hit the ice pretty hard almost bouncing up as you came back down. “What the hell!”

Ransom immediately helped you up. “Watch where you’re fucking going!” He yelled back after the guy who’d already started skating away without even saying sorry. “Are you okay?

“My leg like hurts really bad,” you felt yourself tear up because you’re a little baby.

He sighed. “Shit, okay,” he said. “Are you okay to stand?”

“Oh my gosh!” Ava came over to the two of you. “Are you okay? I told Simon to go tell security. That guys been such an asshole this whole time.”

“Yeah thanks,” you said.

“Here why don’t we got some hot chocolate,” Ransom said.

It felt so nice being back in your boots. Ransom had you sit before going to get the drinks. You couldn’t help yourself as you rubbed over the spot on your leg that had been hurting super bad. Wincing at the tenderness.

“How’s your leg?” Ransom asked, sitting beside you with the steaming beverages in hand.

You brought your cup up to your mouth loving the warmth against your cold nose. “It’s fine,” you answered.

He reached down to touch the spot making you jump. He laughed. “Wow usually I have to get a girl naked before they start reacting like that.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to play off as annoyed, but it didn’t work since you couldn’t help yourself as a smile spread on your face. “Oh, shut up.” You blew at the steam before taking a sip. “So, what did you wanna talk to me about?”

“It’s.... it’s nothing,” he said picking at some lint on his coat, suddenly getting all quiet. He took a sip of his own drink.

Here’s where you made a mistake. Which is the mistake that got you into this in the first place. Because every time you looked into his eyes, seeing those long lashes framing those deep blue eyes made you feel like you might drown in them.

And you fucking looked into them. After that first time you told yourself to never do that again. That it’s what made you trick yourself into thinking that you liked him the first time. No. He was just so close.

You pretty much fought yourself on this for the rest of the day. Even during the little shopping trip that the two of you dragged the boys to when you’d been debating with yourself if you wanted to buy this gorgeous coat or this really dress. Not that you needed more of either.

“Here just get both,” Ransom grumbled, taking out his card.

“What!” You gasped. “No, I can’t ask you to do that!”

He shook his head. “It’s okay. Just wear it for the Christmas party.”

“But I already have a dress,” you said.

“Look, I’m sure your sugar daddy buys you very nice things at Forever 21, but I insist.”

You rolled your eyes as he quickly handed the worker his card. “Hey!”

“Too late,” he replied with a shrug that smug smile on his face.

You looked down at the glass as your things were being wrapped up nice and neat. The gold necklace had a diamond moon pendent. It looked so delicate and would have gone so good with that dress.

“You like it?” He asked, noticing.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” you said. “But this is already too much.”

“C‘mon, we have to get back for dinner,” Ava said as Ransom grabbed the shopping bags.

—————

At some point every night the pillows would end up on the floor and you’d end up nestled into the crook of his neck. He’d have his arms around you until you’d roll over onto your side where he’d wrap himself around you again. Then you’d wake up to him gone because he went on his runs at the ass crack of dawn. You noticed how you’d be snuggly tucked into bed each time.

A part of you wanted to feel bad. That you were away and cuddling with another man every night. It was hard to feel guilty when you weren’t sure if your boyfriend was taking advantage of you being gone not that he knew that you knew. He was probably in some club, too, doing you don’t even want to know what. You knew when you left that you may be going home to end things.

You were trying not to think about it. Hell, you hadn’t even told Ava. You wanted everyone to have a good holiday and not worry. Besides you wanted to have fun. Which is why the four of you were going to some club tonight.

The four of you had went to dinner at this really nice restaurant. There were a few times when you’d caught Ransom looking at you all weird. “What?” You wrinkled your nose.

He cleared his throat before going back to picking at the salmon on his plate. “Nothing.”

As the drinks finally started flowing, you started to get a little loose. Ransom was sitting beside you being all sulky as he sipped from the glass of whiskey on ice.

“What’s wrong?” You asked him. Okay to be honest maybe you were more than a little loose, but you were just trying to have some fun.

“Nothing.” He glanced over at you then back to his drink.

“Hey,” this girl sat on the other side of him. “My friend was wondering if you wanted to dance.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why couldn’t your friend ask me herself?”

“She’s a little shy, but she’s cute.”

Ransom glanced over at you. “Nah. I’m just sitting here with my friend.”

The girl pouted, but finally left. You snickered. “I’m just sitting here with my friend,” you mimicked. “What too cool to dance?”

“Because I don’t know. I didn’t feel like it.” He shrugged then took another sip of his drink. “Do you wanna dance maybe?” He finally looked over at you and you were almost hypnotized, but managed to keep your composure.

“With you?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, Buttercup, with my grandpa.”

You laughed once again ignoring the nickname. Maybe it was kind of growing on you. It only took a year and a half. You stood up. “Fine, but you better not stomp on my feet.”

“I might on purpose.” He got up standing in front of you. For a minute you thought he might kiss you until he grabbed your hand to pull you onto the dance floor.

You didn’t want to admit this either, but you were having fun hanging out with Ransom. Ava and Simon were understandably in their own little bubble of love and you didn’t want to interrupt.

After the club Simon had the bright idea of going in the hot tub to warm up. Since you were all a little tipsy that sounded like a great idea.

You had to wear your long sweater out of the house since it was freezing. You in your own little space while Ransom seemed to scoot way to close to you. The four of you were just talking mostly. Enjoying the hot water after being in the freezing cold.

All of you were talking when Ava gave Simon a kiss, which got deeper to the point where they were showing you way more than you needed to see. “I think I speak for both of us in that we really do not want to witness the two of you procreating,” Ransom said.

Ava made a face at him while Simon laughed. He whispered in her ear where she pecked his lips again. The both of them started getting out right after. “We’ll see you two in the morning.” He grinned.

“Goodnight!” She said.

“Night,” you and Ransom said in unison.

You went to the side that your incredibly horny friends had been on which had been across from him. His eyes were closed with his head tilted back. You splashed water at him making him jump a little.

“Hey!” He splashed you back. You laughed as you did it a second time. “Alright, alright,” he said.

You did it again for good measure. “Can’t have someone seeing you have too much fun.”

He went back to his previous position this time putting his muscular arms on the ledge. You wouldn’t care to admit how long you stared at his biceps and shoulders. Then taking the quickest glance at his abs. Then that neck that you kind of wanted to put your mouth on. This is bullshit.

Why was he allowed to be this hot? It couldn’t be enough that he was an asshole. He had to be hot about it. Okay you looked at his pecs and tried to see if you could get a glance of what may have been in his swim trunk. Whatever.

“What are you doing?” He caught you, a smirk appearing on his annoyingly perfect face.

“It’s called minding my own business,” you replied. “You should try it.”

He laughed. “You’re such a brat.” You shrugged turning your head to look at nothing. “Is that what your sugar daddy sees in you?”

“He’s not my sugar daddy. I mean he buys me things like for my birthday, but... that’s not what our relationship is about. I don’t even know if we are in a relationship anymore.” You don’t know why you were spilling all of this to Ransom of all people.

Ransom frowned. “What happened?”

You looked down and sighed blowing out your cheeks after. “Well...” you sighed again. Your stomach was turning now. “You have to take it to your grave.”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

You rolled your eyes. “Promise?”

“I promise.”

You sighed, biting your lip weighing in your options. On one hand it wasn’t Ransom’s business. You really hadn’t told Ava this. You didn’t want her to worry.

“So, he’s not my sugar daddy,” you said, hoping he got the hint.

You could tell he did by the grin on his face and the way he raised his eyebrows. “You?” He explained. “No there’s no way and here I always thought you’d be boring in bed.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up no you didn’t.”

“I took you for a dead fish kind of girl,” he teased. “It’s always the cute ones.”

Your eyes widened at what he said. Then so did his when he realized what he said. “Anyway, so yeah that’s how we started off as,” you decided to ignore what he’d just said.

“Alright so go on.”

“Yeah, so it turns out I’m not the only one,” you said. “He’s been going to these clubs and he doesn’t think that I know.”

His jaw dropped. “This is the plot twist I really wasn’t expecting. I gotta tell ya.”

You shook your head. “Shut up.” You splashed him again.

“Stop!” He laughed, doing it back to you.

As you kept splashing at him, he came over to you, grabbing your hands to keep you from doing it again. “Let go of me.” You laughed.

“No.” He wasn’t laughing anymore. Just looking at you. Fuck he was putting you under his spell. You were supposed to not looking into his eyes. How did you make this mistake so many times? “Y/N, I... don’t make things weird.”

“What?” You laughed.

“Yeah. Don’t make this weird,” he said again softly before brushing his lips against yours finally.

“And here I’d always heard that you were a ladies man, Ransom,” you teased. “That was kind of weak.”

“Yeah, well maybe you bring out the worst in me.” A dopey smile had spread across his face. It was okay because there was one on yours too.

“Oh whatever.” You rolled your eyes still smiling. He leaned over to kiss you again but you put your hand against his lips to stop him. “I’m getting kind of tired actually.”

You walked back to your room. All wrapped in your sweater because fuck it was freezing now. You also wouldn’t say this out loud, but his lips felt really nice. As you made it to the bedroom the two of you were sharing, he came on not too far after, grabbing your arm to pull you into a kiss. He’s so dramatic.

As his lips worked against yours, you wrapped your arms around his neck. He felt so good. You can’t remember the last time David kissed you like this. “Fuck it’s actually really cold,” Ransom said.

You laughed. “I know I’m freezing.”

“How about we take a shower,” he said. “Maybe we could save some water together?”

“Oh yeah. We would totally be helping the environment.”

He grabbed you hand to lead you the rest of the way. You pulled off your wet clothes. As soon as you felt time hot water on your skin, you moaned. “

Jesus Christ, why not shower in hell,” he hissed.

“I’m already there.” You threw your arms around his neck. He leaned down to kiss you again. Pawing at your ass. He was so close this time.

You tried to act like nothing had happened as you finished getting ready for bed. As you got all settled under the covers, you felt your body finally start to warm up. He slid in next to you. This was the first time that you didn’t even attempt to put the wall of pillows up.

He pulled you all close to him. “You little shit! Are you naked?” You gasped.

He laughed. “Yeah. I don’t even know why you bothered.”

“Who said I was going to do anything with you?”

“Well, what if I tell you that,” he said, grabbing a handful of your ass, “I actually maybe sort of have feelings for you.”

Ah fuck.

Well, obviously.

But, ah fuck.

Why were you supposed to hate him again?

Because he was a giant asshole. He was rude to the help. Rude to everyone. Even you. Yet you still liked his stupid smug smile. That annoying laugh. You liked how he’d been surprisingly good company for this whole trip. Liked how he was holding you right now. You were pretty sure he could get an ugly haircut and you’d still like him. How he looked at you even when he was irritated with you.

Waiting for you to say something back.

“I... I have feelings for you, too.” You bit your lip after like you were nervous about what he might say back.

“Yeah?” He said with another dopey smile covering his face.

You nodded right before he bridged the gap first. Pressing your lips to his. His mouth moving ever so softly against yours. Like he was afraid you’d run away if he moved to quickly.

You deepened it and he finally pushed you down on your back. Ransom grabbed the back of your leg so you’d wrap it around his waist. Fuck he was already growing against you. “I still can’t believe you got dressed,” he pulled away to whisper in your ear. “You should have known I was just going to take everything off.”

You rolled your eyes. “Ever think that’s part of the fun.”

He chuckled before kissing you again. “Oh yeah?” He pulled away so he could start pulling down your sleep shorts. “You wanted me to take your clothes off?” You nodded, looking into his eyes. He hissed. “Didn’t even put-on panties, dirty girl.”

You laughed. “Do you like it?”

“Oh, I really, really like it.” He reached down to rub his hand up and down your slit. “What a pretty little pussy.”

You gasped. “Fuck.” His hands felt so good on you. He’d barely even touched you and it felt so, so good. Finally, his finger grazed your clit. He traced along it in a circle. “Stop teasing me!” You whined.

“Be patient, Buttercup.” He smirked.

“I’m going to kill you.”

“Shit,” he stopped, “I don’t have a condom.”

You shrugged. “I’m on birth control.”

He smirked. “Yeah, you want me to fuck you raw, Baby. Want me to cum in you?” He leaned back down to kiss your neck this time. His thumb was pressing into your clit now. Going on sweet, sweet circles. He stopped for a minute to pull off your top.

When you were fully naked and he finally put his mouth on your nipples, you needed him to just fuck you. “Please, Daddy,” you whimpered.

He went back to kissing your neck. “Yeah? You want me to be your daddy? Want me to take care of you.”

“God, yes.”

He lined himself up at your entrance. Looking into your eyes as he started to push into you. You closed your eyes tightly. “No, no open your eyes. I want you to look at me while I fuck you,” he commanded.

You nodded doing as you were told as he made you stretch over the thick head of his cock. You were so fucking wet just from him touching you like that. Your skin felt like it was on fire. You cried out as he inched into you. Fuck he was bigger than you’d expected. He was making you feel so full.

“Ransom,” you whimpered, he started out with shallow thrusts not going all the way in.

“Fuck, you’re fucking tight,” he groaned. “Can you even take it?”

You nodded. “I can take it, Daddy.”

He steadied his hips before finally shoving himself all the way inside of you. You gasped as he started fucking into you going so deep. Little droplets of tears formed in the corners of your eyes.

He was fucking you so good, your brain went blank. All you wanted was him. Wanted him to never stop fucking you. “Oh my god,” you whined.

“Yeah. Feels good?”

You nodded as you tried to take it. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Daddy making you feel good?” He panted. “Daddy’s gonna always make your pussy feel good, Baby. I’m gonna take care of you. Buy you whatever you want. Give you every fucking thing your boyfriend wouldn’t.”

Your pussy was gripping his dick like a vice. How were you so close already. “Please?”

“Is that what you want?” He asked in that condescending voice, you’d always hated, but fuck he was going to make you cum because of it. “Want me to buy you nice things. Be your boyfriend. Give you a fucking family.”

If he wasn’t balls deep inside of you, you would have probably reacted differently to him confessing that he wanted something with you. More than just this, but fuck hearing it like this only made you that more far gone. “Yes!” You moaned a little too loudly.

He clamped his hand over your mouth to shush you. “Shhh, Baby. You don’t want everyone to hear you getting dicked down do you? Want everyone to hear me fucking you?”

You shook your head, but stopped as you tilted your head back because you couldn’t stop it. Your eyes got all glazed over as your orgasm hit. 

“That’s it, cum for me.” He breathed. “Fuck. I’m gonna cum in your pussy.”

“Yes,” you whimpered. You could feel him so deep in your stomach. You can’t remember the last time you got fucked like this. No one else had ever been able to do this to you. 

As he finally couldn’t hold out anymore, cumming deep inside of you he still moved his hips. Making sure you got all of him.

He laid on top of you for a minute, not pulling you as you both came down from your orgasms. It felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest. How the hell were you going to explain this to everyone. 

He rolled beside you before pulling you into his arms. You rested your head on his shoulder. Still trying to catch your breath. “Fuck.” He laughed. 

You chuckled. “I know.”

“Why did we wait so long to do that again?” He asked.

“Because I hated you.” You didn’t mean to let out a bigger laugh because your lower half was way too sore for that. 

He rolled his eyes. “Bullshit. No, you didn’t.”

“I wanted to.”

“Brat.” He chuckled. “I just... I meant everything I said.”

“What?”

“That I wanna be with you...” he replied. “That I wanna make an honest woman outta you.” You rolled your eyes, trying to maintain that damn facade. He was making it hard because this smile spread across your face. “I’ll even let you live with me when you pack your shit out of that old man’s house.”

“Moving so quickly? Ransom, I’m shocked at you.”

“Look, I’ve put up with your shit for a year a half already,” he explained, “I already know that I want you.”

“You fucking sap!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don’t you suck my dick about it?” He rolled his eyes.

You shrugged. “Okay.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

----------

You didn’t fall asleep until the sun was already coming up. Every time you tried before that; Ransom would start kissing your neck. You were exhausted, but satisfied in a way you hadn’t been in a long time.

You woke up to rustling on the bed. You tried to feel for him because although you were still cozy you wanted his warmth, but he wasn’t there. “Ransom?” You yawned, peeking your eyes open to him fixing the comforter. 

Oh.

“Hey, Baby,” he said with a smile on his face. He leaned over to kiss your forehead. “I gotta go, okay. I have some errands I have to run.”

You nodded, before wrapping your arms around him. He held you to him tightly kissing your forehead more. “Do you have to?”

“Mhmm,” he replied. “I told Simon I’d help him with this surprise for Ava

“Okay. I love you,” you replied sleepily before dozing off again. He smiled down at you before laying you back down, kissing your forehead before leaving. 

You woke up again to Ava jumping up and down on your bed. “Get up!” She cheered. 

“What are you twelve?” You grumbled. Then your eyes cracked open when you fucking realized you’d told Ransom that you loved him. “Oh no.”

“What? Wait, are you naked?” She raised both of her eyebrows as she got settled beside you in bed. “Did you and Ransom...”

You shook your head, suddenly feeling like you might puke. You fucking told Ransom Drysdale that you loved him. “What? No. I just got really hot last night.”

“Where’s your pillow wall?” She asked with a smirk.

“We were too drunk last night to remember?” 

“Bitch, you slept with Ransom Drysdale!” She gasped. “What about David?”

“Um... David and I are... I was already going to end things with him.

This annoyingly shit eating grin spread across her face. “You dirty slut. Okay, well, I don’t think Simon would mind if you stayed with us until you got back on your feet.”

“Actually, I already found a place. I just... I didn’t want to ruin your fun, ya know.”

She sighed. “Y/N, I’m your best friend. Your problems are my problems. I wouldn’t have cared if you told me. Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” You smiled. 

“So...” another smile spread across her face, “how was it?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking.” You laid back down, turning on your side and ignored her as she continued to ask questions.

You got your nails done with Ava, Trish, and Simon’s sister. Still thinking about what you’d said to Ransom. Nerves had started to settle in that you’d done something wrong. Raking your brain trying to remember if he’d even said anything back. You couldn’t remember.

It was Christmas Eve now and there was supposed to be this super fancy party today that the family apparently threw every year. Of course, you were going to wear the dress Ransom had bought you. There was no question. It fit in more. Besides okay maybe you wanted to look pretty for him whatever.

Neither him or Simon had come back by the time everyone started getting ready. You did your makeup in Ava’s room before going back to yours to get dressed. The was a knock on the door as you’d just finished.

“Hey,” Ransom leaned down to kiss your cheek lightly to not mess up your makeup. Setting down a little gift bag on the bed. “You look... you look beautiful.”

You were going to have to get used to him being nice to you. “Thank you.” 

“Sorry, it took so long. You know Simon. Has to go above and beyond.” He chuckled. 

You waited for him to get ready, checking your phone. David had been texting you throughout the trip. Not that you ever responded. You thought when you’d get to the end of this trip, you’d be dreading the drive home. Instead, you were hopeful of what was to come. 

"So, I kind of got you something,” he said before the two of you could leave the room.

You frowned. “I didn’t get you anything back.”

“That’s okay. I don’t think either of us were expecting this,” he replied. “I just wanted you to know I was serious about everything.”

“Okay.”

He clenched his jaw as he grabbed the bag he’d placed, taking out a jewelry box which he handed you. You looked up at him with those big eyes. “I saw you looking at it at that store so...”

“You’re such a sap,” you sniffled.

He smiled. “I just... when you told me I love you this morning, I didn’t say it back. I wanted to say it when I gave you this so... I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded and he pulled you to him, hugging you tightly. You really didn’t want to mess up your makeup so you forced yourself not to tear up. Except lipstick be damned because you were not, not going to kiss him.

It was taking you everything to not hold his hand as the two of you walked into where the party was starting to pick up a little. He looked so cute in his red sweater. Simon and Ava were being doted on by his grandparents. 

“So, Ava kind of figured it out,” you said as he handed you a glass of champagne. 

“How?” He asked.

“You didn’t lock the door and I was still naked under the covered.”

He snickered. “Should have given her an eye full.”

You shook your head. “I’ll give you an eye full.”

“You already did, Buttercup.” He shrugged.

“Why do you call me that?” You rolled your eyes.

His face started to get all red. You’d never thought in all your days you’d see Ransom blush. Between the two confessing your feelings for one another, of you having sex, you accidently telling him you love him, and him telling you that he wanted to be with you, making him blush made you feel like you’d won whatever game the two of you had been playing.

He sighed. “Well, okay, so when me and my cousin Meg were younger, she was obsessed with the Powerpuff Girls. I didn’t want to admit that I kind of liked it. Your bad attitude reminds me of Buttercup. She was my favorite.” He rolled his eyes looking away from you like he was embarrassed.

“You’re shitting me.” This smile spread across your face.

“Shut up.” He wrinkled up his nose.

“Never would have guessed that under all that wool and assholeness was a sweetheart waiting to burst out of the seams,” you teased him.

“You’re so lucky I think you’re pretty or else I think I might drop kick you.” He sighed.

----------

Christmas Day passed by nicely and easily. Mostly with everyone relaxing. You spent most of it tucked into Ransom’s side drinking hot chocolate watching Christmas movies with everyone because at this point the two of you are just a cliche. Which was fine because you liked it. 

He’d whisper I love you in your ear. Or pull you under the mistletoe because he’s corny. Ava and Simon teased you while Trish swore that she called it, which she kind of did.

When it was time go home you were a little sad. You liked being in this little bubble with him. Now you’d have to go home and deal with having to officially break up with David and having to talk Ransom out of taunting him. Of course, Ava and Simon offered up their place until you got on your feet, but him being him pretty much demanded that you live with him.

Normally you would kick yourself for moving so quickly and you don’t know why, but you saw something in him. Of course, you weren’t going to be able to move all of your stuff out today, but there were two very important things that you needed. David wasn’t even there when you got home. He was probably still at his parents.

“Hope you like cats because I’m not leaving them,” you’d told him as you packed them into their carriers. 

He groaned, throwing his head back. “Fine, but you’re giving me a blowjob as soon as we get home.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you said before placing a wet kiss on his cheek just to annoy him.  

“Hey, you wanna have sex in his bed before we go?” He asked with a smirk.

“You’re an awful person, you know that?” You put your hands on his chest. “Of course I do.”

“God, I love you.” He grinned before pressing his lips to yours. 

[titan-fodder]

Prima Vista Part IV

[ previous ]

Rating: E (explicit; mdni) Pairing: Mike Zacharias x fem!reader wc: ~ 9.6k

Warning: a big helping of abandonment/daddy issues, lots of feelings, explicit sexual content A/N: y’all are gonna be so soft and then so mad lmao. 

The plan was to go to Mike's house then back to campus. You said you didn't have anything to do at your mom's, that a long phone call would suffice, which is why Mike is confused when you ask him if you can stop by before going back. It's an hour out of the way, but it's not like he has anything better to do, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't curious about your humble beginnings. 

 The house is in a decent-looking neighborhood, small, nearly identical one-story homes surrounded by cracked sidewalks. He has to be careful not to trip as you make your way to the front porch, pots of dead or dying plants along the edges of it. You shove your key into the lock, twist and open, then motion for Mike to follow. 

 The den is dimly lit, ceiling fan above with only one working bulb. A crime show is playing on the TV but there's no one watching. There is, however, another light pouring from a back room, and as soon as you drop your bag on the couch, a head pokes out from the doorway. 

 "Baby girl!" A shrill voice cries, and Mike sees you grimace. "I thought you weren't coming by!" 

 A woman walks into the den wearing long, cotton shorts and an old tie-dye shirt then pulls you into a hug so tight that it makes you cough. 

 "Mom," you take a deep breath as if to refill your lungs with all the air that was pushed from them. "This is Mike."

 He holds out a hand and smiles, but all your mother does is stare with round eyes and blurt, "Oh, he's a big boy." 

 "My fucking god." You don't yell or whine, just pinch the bridge of your nose and mumble, "Just shake his hand please." 

 "Sorry, I'm sorry, just was not expecting… You didn't tell me how tall he was."

 "'Cause it doesn't matter. Why would I—nevermind," you cut yourself off, face falling flat just like your voice. 

 Mike isn't sure if he should be flattered or offended or embarrassed, so he just ignores the comment entirely and says, "Nice to meet you." 

 You make your escape to the back, dragging Mike with you before shutting your bedroom door and leaning against it. 

 "Mom is a little weird, but you'll always know where you stand with her," you tell him. "Also, sorry about the house. She’s a teacher, so she’s usually pretty beat at the end of the day. Not enough energy to do a lotta cleaning."

 "Didn't even notice," he reassures you. 

 Mike unpacks his bag next to you, and you gather the dirty clothes from both yours and his, balling them up and taking them with you out to the garage to throw into the washing machine. Mike should have done it at his parents', but as you were packing up that morning, his mother got all teary eyed and his dad just kept shaking your tiny hands and telling you to come back, so it just didn’t happen. 

 Back in the living room, your mom is sitting in an old rocking chair, and Mike thinks you'll take a seat on the adjacent couch, but instead you ask, "You need help with anything? Dishes or vacuuming or somethin'?"

 She looks up at you, fly-away hairs sticking out around her temples and forehead and responds, "It'd be nice if you could do the dishes. I just haven't gotten around to it."

 "Can do," you nod and walk into the kitchen, opening the dishwasher and making a displeased noise at the dirty plates and bowls inside. There's room for a few more, but once it's full and running, you just clean what's left in the sink by hand. Mike finds a towel, stands next to you, and holds his hand out for every scrubbed dish, drying it and placing it in the rack to hopefully be put up later. 

 "You hungry?" You ask when you're done and drying your hands. "It's almost one."

 "Uh, yeah. I could eat." 

 Truthfully, he's starving having only had a small breakfast at his parents'. He doesn't want to say that, though, doesn't want you making a big meal for him or apologizing for anything. 

 "Sandwiches okay?" 

 Something in your tone has him on edge. Your voice is too quiet, deflecting downward as if you're forcing each word from your mouth. 

 "Yeah," he nods. "If you get the stuff, I can make 'em." Mostly so that you can relax but also because there's no way he's gonna let you make him a fucking sandwich. 

 You shrug your shoulders, grab bread, lunchmeat, cheese, and condiments, then say, "You can make ours. I'll make mom's."

 He knows he's missing something, but he doesn't know what, and right now he's too afraid to ask. 

 He eats next to you on the couch, you and your mom watching TV as Mike tries to subtly glance around. Mounted shelves are decorated with dusty, mismatched figurines, cracks opening at the corners where the walls meet the roof. The brick fireplace is stacked high with plastic tubs and books, probably from your mother’s classroom, and the carpet has seen better days. 

 Mike isn't judging—not in the least—but he has a feeling he knows why being here puts you in a sour mood. The house feels lived in, cluttered and cozy and worn around the edges, but it's still empty somehow. 

 After the three of you are finished eating, you take the paper plates and dispose of them, then tell your mom that you'll be in your room. She gives you a soft smile that you struggle to return.

 It's a little more you in the bedroom, blue walls covered in old posters and collages, a quilt similar to the one in your dorm folded at the bottom of your bed. Your pillow cases are faded and covered in an old flower design that matches your sheets, and there's a small nightstand next to the headboard that's bare on top with wrinkled papers poking out of the bottom drawer. 

 "It's not much, but if you wanna snoop around like I always do, feel free." 

 Mike doesn't really want to, especially since you already seem so uncomfortable in what should be a safe space for you. The only thing he feels okay investigating is the old bookshelf next to your closet—mostly YA novels, some poetry books, an old set of The Lord of the Rings series, a textbook over rocks and minerals and another over volcanoes. Tucked away in the bottom shelf is a tiny booklet that looks like a photo album, and Mike has to fight the urge to pull it from its place and flip through the plastic pages. Anything to get to know you better. 

 You lay in bed, eyes locked on the ceiling, and Mike doesn't know what to do. There's a very small TV sitting on your dresser, an old DVD player next to it, so he figures he'll save both you and himself from talking by picking out a movie. 

 He fingers through them, not that there's a lot, just skims the spines until he pulls out a copy of Space Jam. You only glance at the screen when the intro starts, and Mike immediately zeroes in on the way your jaw sets and your brows furrow. 

 "I can pick something else," he tells you quietly. 

 You take a deep breath and shake your head. Slowly but surely your features begin to soften. 

 "'S'fine."

 "Are you sure?" 

 "Yeah. My, uh…" You swallow loud enough from Mike to hear, neck bobbing with the motion. "My dad and I used to watch it all the time."

 He doesn't know what to make of it or how to respond. In the months he's known you, Mike has never heard you mention your father a single time, and he's never asked in fear of what your response might be. 

 He moves your quilt to sit on the very edge of the bed, a little too tense as he heavily contemplates ignoring what you'd said and still switching movies. 

 "You can lay down, you know," you mumble. "I'm not gonna bite you."

 "You have before," he tries to act casual, but it comes out too stiffly.

 You laugh through your nose— "Suit yourself—" then get more comfortable on the mattress. 

 Michael Jordan gets pulled into a golf hole and the Loony Toons journey to retrieve his shoes from the real world. Mike is barely paying attention, more focused on the way your breathing evens out until it becomes slow and deep. 

 That's good. You could use a nap. 

 He watches you for a while, the way your eyelashes flutter against your cheeks and your lips part. You're all curled up on yourself, hands tucked under your chin, knees to your stomach, and Mike wants to slip behind you so badly, to pull you to his chest and lay with you until his heartbeat syncs with yours. 

 But first. 

 As carefully as he can, Mike stands from the bed and glides to the bookcase. He lowers himself in front of it, quickly finding what he's looking for and pulls it from the shelf. 

 It's a small little album, full of polaroids and old pictures cut in half. The first page sets the tone for the rest of the booklet, a photo of a very small you outside eating a popsicle next to a man that is most definitely your dad. You've got a similar facial structure as well as his coloring. Not to mention the expression he's wearing is one Mike has seen you make many times before. 

 The next picture is the two of you dressed up for an event. He's in a striped Polo and slacks while you're in a little checkered dress, a rose corsage on your tiny wrist. Some kind of father-daughter dance, Mike guesses. 

 Sitting on his lap at a fair, a chubby little boy a few years older than you standing close with a stuffed snake around his neck. A party where you're posed with an honestly frightening costume character. You in a bright, mesh jersey standing back to back with your dad, arms crossed, looking at the camera with your chins tilted upward. 

 They all look like good memories. The little boy in the fair picture appears several more times, and as he loses his baby fat, Mike sees the resemblance he shares with you and your father. It's too close to be a cousin—your eyes and mouths shaped the same—so he must be your brother. 

 Mike doesn't know how to feel about that because again, you've never uttered a word. As far as he knew, you were an only child, so why…

 He gets lost in the pages, watching you grow and pose mostly next to your dad. Smiles and laughs and silly faces with your tongues sticking out. Your mom is in some, brother in others, and then, you're in a cap and gown, grinning widely next to your dad who's beginning to gray at the temples. His own smile is barely there now, a ghost of what was seen in the previous photos. It's forced, it's sad, and it's the last picture in the book. 

 Mike's chest hurts. He wonders what happened, when exactly you'd lost him. Was it a quick goodbye, or had it been drawn out and painful? Had he been sick for a long time? He'd looked perfectly healthy in all the shots. Maybe a car accident that took both him and your brother…

 He flips to check for one last photo on the back of the page, but it's empty. However, tucked in a tiny, paper pocket is a folded up note that Mike stares at for a few solid minutes, debating the pros and cons of reading it. He knows he's already violated your privacy by looking through the album, and fuck, he's only been in your house for a couple hours at most—how has he already managed to tumble down such a humongous rabbit hole? 

 Your tiny snores reach his ears, and Mike gently pulls the note out, biting his lip as he unfolds it as quietly as possible. It's soft, like it's been read too many times, and the letters scribbled in all caps are beginning to fade, but the words are still legible. 

 It starts with your name, and then it's all apologies—sorry I can't stay, I have to leave, you don't understand how much this hurts me and so on. 

 Mike's eyebrows pull together the further he reads, blood pounding against the walls of his arteries, pulse picking up because he understands now.

 Your father wasn't in any sort of accident; he just left. 

 The letter ends with a gut-wrenching, You'll always be my little girl, and Mike nearly crumples the paper up to throw away. He resists somehow, simply folds it with shaky hands and slips it back into the pocket at the back of the album. 

 He's never been so mad at a stranger in his life. This must be it. This must be why you are—

 "Should've known you'd go straight for the photo album." 

 Your voice makes Mike's body jolt, his face heating as he turns to look at you with wide eyes. 

 "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—"

 You wave him off and prop yourself up on an elbow. "It's whatever."

 But, it's not. It's this huge part of you that still affects you to this day. Mike is no psychologist, but he has a pretty good feeling this is the main reason you hold everyone at arm's length. 

 "Why didn't you ever tell me?" 

 "What's there to tell?" 

 Sitting up fully, your gaze moves to the screen just in time to see Michael Jordan step off of the spaceship and onto the baseball field. I Believe I Can Fly is playing, and you're gritting your teeth. 

 "It's not anything that comes up in normal conversation anyway. I wasn't just gonna hit you with it outta nowhere. Also," you look back to Mike, eyes still sleepy, lips pulling downward in a frown. "I'm not the only one who hid stuff about my family."

 Mike sighs and quietly tells you, "That's different," as he closes the album and slides it back into the row of books. 

 "Is it, though? Is it really?" 

 "I..." 

 Mike shuts his mouth and actually thinks on it. He wasn't trying to lie to you about his home life or his heritage. He's only half Greek on his mom's side, after all, and he's only been to the country to visit family a couple of times—once when he was a child and once right before college. The culture is a little different over there, but it all seems so natural to him, especially after being raised to speak the language. 

 Honestly, he didn't ever tell you because he didn't think to, but Mike can understand the shock of walking into his childhood home and getting thrown through that loop. It must have been jarring for you. 

 It's a positive aspect of his life, though. It's not something that's damaged him or made him cold toward others. And, he hates describing you in such a way, but it's true.

 At least it makes sense now. 

 "I guess not," he shrugs. He's not about to fight you on it. 

 You stare at him for a while, waking up a bit more as you rub your eyes and stretch. 

 Then, you flop back down on your pillows. 

 "So. Any questions, Zacharias?" 

 He's surprised that you're asking, and though he doesn't want to twist the metaphorical knife in your gut, he still replies honestly: "Too many."

 A long exhale through your nose, and then you're patting the mattress next to you and grumbling, "Fine, I'll do my best, but you gotta come up here."

 "Why? You gonna need to cuddle afterward?" He can't help but tease. 

 "Fuckin' maybe, dude! We're about to get into my god damn trauma so—"

 Mike is up on his feet and flying toward the bed. He isn't about to sabotage the one fucking moment you're opening yourself up. 

 "Alright, what first?" You ask, trying to look bored, but Mike can clearly see that you're nervous. 

 "He left." 

 "Yeah."

 And then he gets the full story. 

 Your dad was pretty perfect during your younger years—a bit of a workaholic but still good. He took you to dances like the one you'd both dressed for in the photograph. You'd spend days at amusement parks where he'd carry you on his shoulders. He coached the basketball team you'd played on as a child.

 "Not saying he played favorites, but I was definitely closer to him than my brother was."

 The brother who developed a drug problem at fourteen, who was always either out with his little addict friends or at home where he would just scream at you and your mom. 

 "He went to rehab a couple times, but it didn't stick." 

 He left home at seventeen and hasn't gotten in touch with you or your parents since. 

 "I keep thinking one day we'll get a call from the police saying they found his wallet on a fucking corpse, but who knows. Maybe he got clean. Maybe he started a family somewhere else. He'd be twenty-five now."

 "Were you ever close with him?"

 You shrug. "We spent a lot of time together when we were really little, but even back then he was kinda a mean kid."

 It very quickly circles back to your father. Mike still doesn't feel like he has all the answers, so he asks through the skin of his lip, "Why'd he leave?"

 At this point, you've got your head in his lap as he sits against the wall. He smooths your hair back from your face every once in a while, something his mom used to do to him when he was very young that always soothed him. 

 He hopes it's having the same effect on you, thinks it might be considering you've had your eyes closed for a while now, humming now and then as you talk. 

 "Honestly, I don't really know. I don't think he and my mom were ever in love. Like, they just kinda settled for each other," you sigh. "They didn't have a lot in common. They had different upbringings. But, they didn't fight or anything—not in front of us. They were good at hiding the hard times from me and my brother. They just didn't… click."

 Mike bites his tongue, wonders if that was hard to watch or if you'd been too naive to notice. 

 Then, there's his second train of thought that's really just the voice in his head screaming, we click, though! You and I work! But he keeps it to himself. This isn't about you and him. 

 "I think maybe dad had, like, a 'stay together for the kids' mentality 'cause as soon as I graduated, he was fuckin' gone. And, I mean gone. We went to a graduation party the next weekend that lasted a few hours—just me and mom—and when we got back his truck wasn't in the driveway and his drawers were empty. He left that note you read on my desk."

 Mike breathes. Just breathes. He tries to make sense of it, how someone could just do that without a real reason. There hadn't been any explanation in the letter, only apologies. 

 "Have you seen him since?" 

 You open your eyes and reply, "Nope," popping the 'p'. "I don't know where he is, and he hasn't reached out. Mom made the drive to my grandma's—his mom—but she said she didn't know where he was either. Pretty sure she was covering for him, though. She was always kind of a bitch. You know, save for the whole paying for my college and all."

 Mike snorts at this, not that there's anything funny about the situation. It's just his first reaction. 

 You ignore it, moving on with an, "Anyway."

 "Anyway," he mimics. 

 "I don't know if you've noticed in the short time you've been here, but my mom is a little… off. Not super good at taking care of herself."

 "Is this why?" 

 "Clever boy," you show a bitter smile. "I didn't really understand since they weren't, like, in love or whatever, but… I think it was the betrayal more than anything. Like, it came outta nowhere, a big ol' slap in the face."

 "Plus, he left you behind," Mike adds, as if you don't already know. 

 Looking up at him, you raise your eyebrows and smirk. "And, now you know about my abandonment issues." The last part comes out in high-pitched, melodic syllables, a little song that would be funny if Mike didn't know it was a coping mechanism. It most definitely is, though. He can tell that you're the type to mask every issue with humor and sarcasm. It's how you've been dealing with him for the last several months. 

 "So, that's my story," you conclude on an exhale. "Now you know all my dirty secrets."

 "For some reason I don't think that's all of them," Mike pets your hair again. "But, probably the important ones."

 "Mm. I guess."

 The rest of the day is really just spent killing time. You cook an easy dinner that you refuse to let Mike help with, then sit in the den with your mom just like you did at lunch. A medical show is playing. Then a reality show. Then a game show. None of you say much of anything, and it's painfully awkward for Mike now that he knows what happened, but he can power through a few days of this if it makes you feel better. 

 Hours pass until you can retreat, and moonlight shines through your bedroom window, not that Mike needs it. He's memorized your body at this point, knows where to touch without even seeing. He makes sure to be gentle, to suckle and blow on your pebbled nipples as you card fingers through his hair and breathe faster and faster. 

 Leaving love bites down your chest and stomach, he sucks on your skin, gently grazing his teeth over every bruise. Mike wants you to see them all the next day—not a staked claim, just something you can't ignore when you look in the mirror, evidence of his feelings in every mark. 

 When you're finally nice and relaxed, he spreads your legs and licks into you, trying not to be too rough with his beard, but a few swipes of it over your clit leave you shaking in his grasp. You whisper his name, the common one that everyone knows him by, but then, rolling off your tongue like a prayer, you call him, "Miche," and he can't help the rumble that rises in his chest. 

 It should be strange. That's the name only his family uses, the one he was born with. He only simplified it so that kids in school wouldn't ask questions or make fun of him, and after that, it just sort of stuck. But, here and now, falling from your lips, it's so soft. So intimate. 

 You whimper when he sucks on your folds, making them swell, making them sensitive. And then, he's pushing his tongue inside of you and humming happily at the taste. His nose is bumping against your clit, and Christ, you even smell good to him—that ripe, tangy aroma that has Mike going a little crazy. He has to make sure he doesn't get too carried away. You can't make very much noise even with the rattling of the air conditioner, but as he slowly slides a finger into your pussy, he hears you moan around the fist you're holding to your mouth. 

 He stretches you just enough to get you ready, then he holds himself over you and pushes into your wet cunt. Your eyes are open, locked with Mike's as your brow raises and your jaw drops. It's erotic, something you've never done with him before. You typically either gaze somewhere other than his face or keep your eyes squeezed shut. 

 Tonight, though, you've been vulnerable and apparently want to stay that way for a little while longer. 

 He bends to catch you in a kiss, lips and tongues moving just as slowly as his hips, and when you reach to tug at Mike's hair, he pants into your mouth. 

 Those words are there again, stuck in his throat but slowly crawling upward until they're just there, pouring from his tongue, "I lo—"

 Until you cut him off with a sharp, "Don't."

 He makes a noise of frustration, wants to protest because he's so deep inside of you, and you're holding onto him like you want him—truly want him, but you mutter once more against his lips, "Don't say it, Miche."

 So, he doesn't. He bottles the confession up and keeps it locked away, hoping like hell that one day you'll let him tell you. 

 After you climax and coat his cock in slick and cream, he gives a few more thrusts and comes inside of you, filling you with himself and wondering why you're so willing to accept him in that way but not in any other. 

 He's hurting again, like he did at his parents' as you walked around like you belonged there. Except it's worse now. 

 If you don't want him to say it, that means you don't want to say it back. 

 He stays with you for a few more minutes before pulling out. You leave to clean up, and while you're gone, Mike sits on the edge of the bed, head in his hands as he tries to get it all out of his system, whispering it out loud to himself: 

 I love you. I love you, I love you.  

 You still let him hold you as you fall asleep, gripping his hand until you can't anymore, and as Mike drifts off behind you, he has one last thought—Just let me.

* There’s only three weeks left of the semester when you head back to campus, and you intend to make the most of every passing day. 

 You pay better attention in class. You study harder in the library to prepare for final exams. You go to a few more Pi Alpha Kappa parties, making sure not to burn yourself out. And, you let Mike fuck your brains out every few days. Sometimes it’s late at night after those parties. Sometimes you're too tired after the nights of drinking and end up just going to bed only to wake up in the morning and have slow, sleepy sex. Sometimes it’s in the middle of the afternoon when you both have breaks between classes.

 Neither of you bring up anything that happened over the break—meeting families, details about your childhoods, how much you learned about one another in general.

 Most importantly, neither of you address that first night at your mom’s, the way Mike had basically worshiped your body, how he’d come so close to uttering the three words you least want to hear. 

 Thinking about it still makes your chest tighten, your heart beat faster. Sometimes when you’re sharing his bed with him, back pressed to his chest, large arm slung over your waist, you think about why it is you’re so vehemently against it. The two of you already act like a couple most of the time. You walk with each other to class when you can. You stick to each other’s sides at parties. You fuck like rabbits and don’t care who knows about it. 

 And, though you’re hesitant to admit it even to yourself, you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have feelings for him. Mike is your best friend at this point. He’s insanely hot. He’s goofy. He’s kind. Yeah, the frat boy persona he puts on around his friends is annoying, but you understand it a little better now. Plus, he always takes off the mask when he’s alone with you, giving both you and himself a break from it.

 You know your time with him is quickly coming to an end—for about two months, at least—and whenever you think too hard about it, it makes you pout and huff. You’re not looking forward to your summer classes without him, but he promises on several occasions that you can call him while he’s at his parents’ if you ever need help with the material.

 It’s impressive, the way he’s able to act like nothing happened. You know it must be troubling him, but it’s not like you can do anything to soothe him. If he was really upset with you, he would have stopped spending time with you, but he hasn’t. He just bottles it up, keeps smiling at you all crookedly, and keeps satisfying you in the bedroom (more than satisfying honestly. There’s really not a word to describe what he does).

 He’s back to getting along with everyone in the Pike house, everyone being Erwin. It’s a relief just because you don’t have to put up with the tension between them, but it’s also awkward. And, a little frightening. 

 The brothers have Smash Brothers tournaments and movie nights, a few date parties here and there, and it never fails that at some point during the evenings, you find your neck prickling as it always does when you feel someone staring at you. You always hope it’s Mike. Fuck, you wish it was him. But, when you glance up and around, it’s Erwin. Every time. His deep blue eyes are trained on you, the corner of his mouth twitching upward on one side. It doesn’t matter if he’s alone or if he’s got Maddie or some other girl sitting in his lap. He's fucking shameless, and it makes your stomach hurt.

 You keep your mouth shut for the sake of the friendship but also for the sake of Erwin’s pretty face. If he and Mike ever got into an actual fight, Erwin would probably be able to get a good few punches in, but you’re nearly positive Mike would end up destroying him in the long run. That could get him kicked out of school. That could get him thrown in jail. 

 Finals roll around, and you manage to pass all of them without issue, even getting grades above the class average. You feel fantastic, like your long term goals might actually be attainable. You have a long road ahead of you, but your GPA at the end of the year is more than enough to raise your confidence. 

 Mike asks you to come back to his house for the couple weeks between the end of the semester and the start of your summer courses, but you turn him down, too scared of what might happen while you’re there. Acting like a couple in front of his parents will only exacerbate his feelings as well as yours, and you’d like to avoid that as best you can. 

 Even now as you’re standing outside by the Jeep, he tries to persuade you one last time, almost pleading, “Are you sure you don’t wanna come?”

 “Miche, I’m sure,” you tell him, trying to stay stern, but it’s hard when his sea glass eyes light up at the sound of his real name. It’s a habit you’ve gotten into, a bad one considering how much he likes it. How much you like it. “I already told you I wanna spend the free time I have at mom’s. I need to check up on her and… Probably clean, honestly.”

 He lets out a little grunt of disappointment, then nods. “Yeah, I get it.”

 “You saw what she’s like,” you remind him. “Someone needs to drop in every once in a while to make sure she isn’t, like, wasting away or something.”

 “Makes sense. I’ll be bummed, though.”

 “Be bummed all you want,” you smile. “I’ll probably still bother you over break. A lot.”

 He sounds terribly sincere when he mumbles, “You never bother me.” It makes your stomach flip in the way you do not enjoy.

 Mike sighs, taking in one of those deep breaths that makes his broad chest rise then fall, calling attention to it and making you bite your bottom lip. 

 “Alright, I should get going,” he concedes, bending down to kiss you too deeply for simple friends with benefits. It doesn’t stop you from humming into his mouth and smiling against him. You hold him by the back of his neck as he pulls your body close to his, his voice muffled when he tells you mischievously, “Don’t forget to send pictures.”

 It makes you laugh, and you lean back to swipe your tongue over his lips so that he groans and chases after you. 

 “I promise I will. Perv.” The beating sun is nothing in comparison to the way your body heats at the thought. You’ve sent him nudes before, but the idea of him looking at them from hours away, fisting his cock as he admires your body through his phone… It makes seeing him off even harder.

 After a couple more softer kisses, Mike swings into the Wrangler and pulls out of the lot. You stand in his parking space and watch him until he’s out of sight, then walk back to your dorm, dragging your feet the whole way. 

 You only stay at your mom’s house for a week, and just like you predicted, you spend most of it cleaning. She thanks you the whole time but makes excuses in between. You just reassure her that you don’t mind even though you do. She really should see a therapist and sort out the depression she’s been stuck in for a few years now, but telling someone they need professional help is easier said than done. 

 Sleeping in your old bed is much harder this time around. You're all too aware of the weight that isn't behind you, and most nights you lay awake for at least a couple of hours trying to imagine it. 

 Like you’d promised, you send him a few pictures, some of them just lewd selfies with your tits pouring out of the cups of your bra, but others are of your naked body in the bathtub, sometimes a shot of you with your hand between your legs. It feels wrong to touch yourself in your childhood home, but it’s necessary, especially when Mike sends you a few pictures of his own—one with his torso on display, defined abs absolutely mouthwatering and the V of his hips suggestively leading into mesh shorts. Another is of him in the gray joggers he wears all the time, the ones that always show off his cock. 

 He’s so fucking hot it atually hurts, makes your pussy throb as you crave his touch. It’s an awful feeling honestly, but even worse than that is the way you miss him. You aren’t supposed to miss him. You’re just supposed to be friends who have sex. Nothing more than that.

 It's why you’re glad to go back to school. Your classes will distract you, keep you from thinking about him too much. The semester is shorter during the summer, so you have to work even harder than you do during fall and spring. You don’t really think it’ll be a problem since you’re trying to cram your brain full of anything other than Mike which is great motivation for studying. 

 Nothing is gonna get you off track, you tell yourself. Nothing will interfere with your studies. That’s the plan.

 Then, you meet Zeke Jaeger. 

* You're studying in the library. It seems like you spend most of your time here, nice and quiet and empty. The campus isn't nearly as busy in the summer as it is during the rest of the school year. No parties, no sporting events, just you alone with your books. 

 It's nice. Most of the time. A little boring but mostly nice. 

 Your eyes are getting tired, and when you check your phone, you realize why. It's almost eleven PM, meaning you've been studying for about six hours. You've had longer nights, usually spent on the phone getting quizzed on the information you're learning with a few breaks in between, but that wasn't the case tonight as Mike had to spend the day with family from out of town. 

 It's okay. You're supposed to be distancing yourself anyway. 

 Taking a deep breath, you pack up your books and slide your laptop into your bag, then stand and swing it over your shoulder. 

 The strap is too long. The bag swings too hard, and your heart sinks when you hear a little grunt followed by a, "Agh, hot!" 

 Turning with wide eyes, you immediately start apologizing, "I'm so sorry, oh my god, fuck, I'm so sorry!"

 A head of light blond hair looks up from the brown stain on his white t-shirt, icy blue eyes narrowed behind wire-rimmed glasses, but when he sees the mortification on your face, his own expression softens, and he chuckles. 

 "It's fine. You can calm down."

 You're still breathing heavily, guilt making your hands shake, but he really doesn't look angry. In fact, he's grinning now, eyebrows raised like he's amused. 

 The longer you stare at him, the more familiar he looks. You're pretty sure you've seen him before. Many times before, actually, and then it clicks that this guy is on the front page of the school website. You see him every fucking time you log in, looking much more stern than he does now. Baseball hat and jersey, mitt on one hand as he hides his other in it, and yeah, you know him. 

 "You're Zeke Jaeger."

 He makes a face, scrunching his nose up and squinting. "Yeeeeah, I guess I am."

 Best pitcher in the college league despite being a sophomore like you. He's beaten the records of some major league players. 

 You don't give a fuck about baseball, have never even been to any of the school's games, but you've been hearing about Zeke since the last season. You've learned to tune it out because, again, no shits given (and also you're much more partial to lacrosse now), but he's hard to ignore when he's staring you right in the face. 

 "Well, uh," you try to act casual. It's something you're pretty good at these days. "Cool."

 He snorts, picking his shirt off his chest to air it out like it'll help, then says, "I don't know your name, though."

 You run your tongue over your teeth, wondering why he cares, then introduce yourself. 

 "Oh, you're Zacharias' little girlfriend, aren't you?"

 Your stomach flips at the mention of him. 

 "We're not dating."

 Zeke cocks his head to the side. "No?"

 "No. Just friends."

 He hums but doesn't say anything, and your eyes are once again drawn to his chest as he fans over the stain. 

 "Okay, let me get you a new shirt or something," you try. 

 He laughs again. "I highly doubt you've got a men's shirt tucked in that bag of yours, sweetheart."

 "I—" you pout for a second, mumble, "Okay, yeah, fair point."

 "Another coffee, though," he muses out loud. "Wouldn't be the worst thing."

 You shoot him a finger gun and smack your lips. "On it. Where do you get coffee at eleven o'clock?"

 "I'll walk with you," he states more than offers. 

 Then, you're both leaving the library, leaving campus, and going to a little 24 hour cafe where you blow on lattes and cover the basics about each other—philosophy major, valedictorian of his high school class, playing baseball since age seven, etc. You should sleep. You should get ready for another long day of studying.  

 But it's hard to make good decisions when Zeke Jaeger is smirking at you from across the table like you're the most interesting thing he's ever seen. 

* Zeke gets your number that night. You're not exactly sure how, but he does. 

 Then he doesn’t text you for three days. It doesn’t bother you that much. You figure he has other things to focus on. He’s on campus to take a couple courses and practice for the upcoming season, so he’s probably just busy. If that night had just been a one-off, it’s fine with you. It was cool to talk to him, but your heart isn’t broken.

 These are all the thoughts and justifications running through your head when you’re in class on Tuesday and your phone lights up during the PowerPoint lecture. You glance down, expecting Mike or Hitch, but it’s an unknown number instead. Eyes flicking from the projection screen to your much tinier one, you slide to open the message and chew on your lip. 

 Hey, it’s Zeke. You have classes this afternoon?

 You do not. And, you are too quick to tell him that.

 He takes you to a little Mom and Pop restaurant, too far to walk so you end up riding in the black Bronco he drives, trying to convince yourself that it definitely does not make him any more attractive to you. Because you aren’t attracted to him in the first place. Right?

 You sit at a table for two eating paninis and fruit. Zeke asks how classes are going, you ask about practice, and as you talk, he gets that look in his eyes again, like you amuse him or interest him or something.

 It confuses you, and for a moment, you’re taken back to last fall at that first Pi Kappa Alpha party, the one you met Mike at when he tried to get you to shotgun a beer. God, he had been so obnoxious back then, always following you around and flirting and—

 “You listening, sweetheart?”

 Your eyes refocus on the man in front of you, his raised eyebrows and little smirk. “Looks like you’re a million miles away. Sorry if I’m boring you.”

 “No, no,” you try to defend. “I just zoned out for a second. Realized I, uh, got an answer wrong on the quiz I took today.”

 “That sucks,” he hums. “Anyway, I can stop talking about baseball.”

 “It’s okay. Just go over the last, like, ten seconds,” you say with a laugh, hoping your cheeks will stop burning sooner rather than later.

 Zeke chuckles and does just that, doesn’t seem irritated or put out. He tells you about how he has a new trainer this year to warm him up and make sure his throwing arm is in top shape. “I hope he’s as good as my last. Colt was always on it, knew exactly how hot to make the warm compresses and how cold to make the ice packs. Stuff like that. He learned my needs.”

 You both laugh, and if it was anyone else, you’d have an innuendo sliding off your tongue, but for some reason, you don’t think Zeke would want to hear it, like he’d be unimpressed with your vulgar humor. 

 Back at the college, he drives you to your dorm, explaining that he lives in the apartments on the other side of campus and wouldn’t want to make you walk that far. Then, as you slide out of the Bronco, he stops you with a smooth, “Hey,” that makes you look over your shoulder at him. “Make sure you save my number in your phone, okay? I’ll text you soon.”

 The way your stomach flips is worrisome, a feeling you’re only used to when you’re with…

 “Yeah, okay.”

 He grins widely and nods, then waits for you to get a good distance away from the car before driving off.

 No distractions, you’d said. It’ll be good for your focus, you’d said. 

 What a fucking joke. 

*

Mike has to help you with some homework that weekend. You can hear his smile through the phone, snort when he makes his little nerd jokes, then sigh when he gets to the actual subject and explains it to you without a problem. His brain is incredible, and when you think about it too hard, it makes you warm inside. 

 “You’re so fucking smart. Why don’t you let people know?”

 “Maybe I just want you to know,” he chuckles. “You think I wanna spend my days tutoring every idiot who needs help?”

 “Miche, did you just call me an idiot?”

 You hear another breathy laugh followed by a sigh. “I have many, many names for you, but ‘idiot’ isn’t one of them.”

 “Oh yeah?” You play. “And, what might those other names be?”

 He lists a few, all of them making your face flush and your body tingle, and before you know it, you’ve got your pants off and your fingers between your legs. You can hear Mike’s heavy breathing on the other end, the wet sound of his hand stroking his lubricated cock, and when you reach your climax, you moan out your usual, “Oh fuck, oh fuck, Miche.” 

 He tumbles down right behind you, panting and telling you in a voice of disbelief, “Jesus, it just keeps coming.” It makes the pulses of your orgasm even stronger, remembrance of all the times he’s painted you in white, and God, you are so ready for him to get back to the school.

 Then, there’s the voice in the back of your head that makes you think maybe it’s better that he’s gone for now, that he might not be too pleased that you’re spending time with another guy. But, it’s not like things with Zeke are going anywhere. You wouldn’t even call him a friend. You text on and off, have brunch or lunch or coffee depending on the time of day. 

 And, yeah, he calls you pet names, tells you that you look nice even when you’re just in leggings and a t-shirt, talks about his family and…

 Okay, it could potentially lead to something more, but it’s only been a week, and considering his golden boy status, he could have anyone he wants, so why would he even be interested in you in any way, shape, or form?

 Naturally, your thoughts circle back to Mike and the way he could have any girl on his arm, but he still chooses to spend time with you. To fuck you. To nearly confess his feelings to you. You have to wonder if you’re emitting some kind of scent or beacon, if there’s a sign hanging above your head with an arrow pointing down. Sports gods, come get a piece. 

 If only you’d never gone to that party. If you had just kept your head down like you had freshman year. Your life would be so much easier now.

 But now you’re in Zeke’s apartment listening to him rant about some philosopher you’ve never even heard of. He’s gesturing with his hands, flipping curling, blond bangs from his face, and whenever he pauses to think, he scratches his beard. He’s very fond of the white t-shirts and jeans get-up, sometimes switches it up and wears a button down under a sweater vest. Both looks are becoming of him no matter how much you try to deny it, but when he drops down onto the couch next to you and peers into your god damn soul with those piercing, blue eyes, you have to choke back a dreamy sigh.

 What is happening to you?

 “So, what do you think about it?” He asks, looking hopeful that you might have some insight on this matter.

 But, you simply laugh and shake your head. “Zeke,” you start. “I’m gonna be real honest with you here. I didn’t understand a fucking thing you just said.”

 You assume he’ll be disappointed, maybe tire of you since you can’t be as intellectually stimulating as he’d like you to, but Zeke exhales in a lighthearted sort of way, shows one of those amused smiles, and tells you, “You’re cute.”

 Anyone else and you would have snapped back, something along the lines of, don’t fucking patronize me, but with Zeke, all you can do is stare at him and let your lips part, silently asking for something you won’t speak out loud.

 His gaze moves to your mouth for a split second. That soft smile turns into one of his famous smirks. Then, he’s back on his feet and asking, “You wanna go to dinner?”

 You are more than relieved at the shift in atmosphere, but your heart is still beating too hard as you follow him downstairs and to his car. 

* Summer is passing quickly. Too quickly. The eleven week classes are kicking your ass, or are close to kicking your ass. Lucky for you, you have your own private tutor just a call or text away. Mike helps you, and you laugh and goof around, shoot off innuendo after innuendo, but the phone sex slows to a halt eventually. You tell him that you’re tired, and you are. It isn’t a lie. But, it also isn’t the full truth.

 Between classes when you could be resting, you’re eating out with Zeke. Or, watching him and the rest of the baseball team practice for the upcoming season. Or, sitting in his apartment, watching movies and chatting about all manner of things. Nothing important, of course—there’s no diving deep into your life story like you had done with Mike over Spring Break, but Zeke still learns the little things about you. Why you’re majoring in geosciences and how you became good friends with some of the Pike guys. You don’t give him the full details on that one—that you got blackout drunk and fucked Mike and just couldn’t stop. You don’t think Zeke would be interested in hearing about it anyway.

 You learn a bit about his dad and stepmom, the latter of whom he isn’t very fond of. He also has a little brother who’ll be attending the college starting this fall, and he’s interested in the Greek life. Naturally, you build PKA up. Even if there are some… Problematic people in the house, there are also a lot of really good guys. 

 “I’ll make sure to pass it along to him,” Zeke tells you one evening as you’re both sprawled on the couch, backs against the armrests as you face each other. It’s how he seems to prefer to sit when the TV isn’t on. When you asked him why, he had told you, “Just like looking at you,” and you didn’t know how to respond. You still don’t know how to respond.

 “Eren thinkin’ about joining any sports?” You ask now. “Does baseball run in the family or anything?”

 Zeke snorts. “Kid couldn’t hit a baseball even if it was on one of the t-ball stands.”

 “I’ll take that as a ‘no’, then.”

 “I would say he’s more academically inclined, but,” Zeke sighs. “That would be a lie.”

 You can never tell if he actually likes his brother. Most of the time he complains about him, but every once in a while he’ll bring up something cute Eren did as a little boy, and you see a fond glimmer in his light eyes. 

 “Anyway,” Zeke waves off the subject and transitions to a new one—one that makes your stomach drop. “Are you gonna tell Zacharias about us?”

 You choke on your own spit, leaning forward to cough a couple times, then challenge him with a nervous laugh, “I wasn’t aware there was anything to tell him.”

 Zeke tilts his head, mouth pulling up as he raises his eyebrows. “Come on,” he chuckles.

 “Come on, what?” You frown. If you were with Mike, you both would have died at that. Come on my face, you can hear him say, and you have to fight a smile because there’s absolutely no way you could explain that to the man in front of you.

 “You don’t have to play coy, sweetheart. We both know there’s something going on between us.” He says it with such confidence that even if he wasn’t right you wouldn’t be able to argue with him. The assumption should annoy you, should make you scoff and leave, but instead you sit there staring, caught up in his gaze and cocky grin.

 “I—”

 “It’s okay, you know. Not like you’re alone in this.”

 Those questions swim through your mind again, all the insecurities that you’ve been sorting through with Mike, but now that voice is louder because that sense of trust hasn’t formed yet. You’ve only connected with Zeke over meals and movies. It sounds domestic, but despite your apparently obvious attraction to him, you still don’t feel like you really know him. 

 But, he draws you in, like a moth to a flame. You can’t help it. There’s just something about him that makes you want him to like you, like you want to impress him, like you want to be good for him. You’ve been trying to ignore those thoughts, but they’re much harder to fight now that you’re sitting in front of him, taking in his wavy hair and pale blue eyes, that ever present smirk on his face, the curve of his neck that disappears into his shirt.

 He could just want sex. He could just want a fling. Wait for everyone to get back on campus and drop you for another girl. You tell yourself you wouldn’t care; you’re good at keeping things casual.

 Wouldn’t it be fun to be his arm candy for a while, though? Let people look at you and whisper louder than they did when they’d see you and Mike together? You don’t care about status, about being in the spotlight. It’s more for the experience, dating someone who could teach you things.

 Mike teaches you things, that voice pops up again. He’s been helping you with your work for almost a year now. You can’t just overlook that. 

 “What, are you weighing the pros and cons over there or something?”

 You snort. “Maybe. We still don’t really know each other all that well, Zeke.”

 “Might I remind you that we’ve been hanging out all summer? Did you honestly think it wouldn’t lead to anything more?”

 “Honestly,” you mimic, “I never thought you’d be interested.”

 “Why wouldn’t I be?” His brow furrows like he’s genuinely confused. “You’re smart. You’re funny. You’re cute.” 

 God, you can’t even count how many times he’s called you ‘cute’, how many times it’s made you blush over the last several weeks, just like it does now.

 Then, he pushes, “Do you not find me at—”

 “Of course I do,” you cut him off. “I don’t know who doesn’t, which is exactly why I don’t know where this is coming from.”

 Zeke sighs like he’s annoyed, then turns the hand on his thigh palm up and beckons you with two fingers. “Come here.”

 “What?”

 “Come here.”

 Your blood pressure spikes, breaths coming in little puffs that have no way of getting to your brain. It’s probably why you obey, rolling to your knees and clumsily crawling over to him. You stop short, right between his bent knees, but Zeke sits up, straightens his legs, and pulls you into his lap.

 More of that precious air leaves your lungs as you exhale too sharply, staring at him with huge eyes. You don’t know what’s happening, can’t believe it’s happening. It doesn’t feel real even as you rest your hands on his shoulders, even when he holds your hips and pulls you so that your full weight is on him, but fuck, you can’t say anything. You can’t make a sound. All you can do is wait for him to make his next move.

 “Why do you look scared?” His voice is just above a whisper, but at this proximity you can hear him without a problem. 

 “I don’t have a lot of experience sitting in men’s laps,” you manage, trying to keep your usual careless tone, but you doubt it works.

 “For some reason I don’t believe that.”

 You rear back, actually offended. “Excuse m—”

 That ire, however, melts away as quickly as it arose. Zeke slides fingers up your waist, all the way to the back of your neck to bring your face to his—your lips to his. 

 He feels different, not at all what you’re used to. His kiss is more demanding, hungry, and God, you still can’t breathe, can’t think straight because his tongue is moving past your lips, and you’re letting it, letting him taste you as your fingertips dig into the flesh of his shoulders. You lift yourself from him just a little only for Zeke to pull you back down with the hand still gripping your hip. He makes sure you feel him when he grinds up into you, the zipper of his jeans rubbing you through your little shorts so that you gasp into his mouth. 

 You both stay like that for what feels like a fucking eternity, biting and sucking on lips, stroking over each others’ tongues until you absolutely have to break apart. You’re panting now, body still tense on top of his, and Zeke stares at you with half-lidded eyes and shows the ghost of a smile.

 “Oh, I’m gonna have so much fun with you.”

 The statement sets you on fire, so much so that all you can do is whimper quietly and lean in for more. 

  And, as you get lost in Zeke Jaeger, you decide for yourself.

I need to tell Mike

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