#he was right im going back to him in a week

[logansbaby]

GUILTY AS SIN | Logan Howlett

❥ summary: the entire time you’ve known logan howlett, you’ve tried to keep your distance, your longings locked. then, one night, all that effort goes to waste when you’re confronted by your feelings.

word count: 8.5k

pairings: logan howlett x fem!mutant reader

content warnings: 18+ CONTENT MDNI, masturbation, dirty thoughts, light choking, multiple orgasms, oral (f + m receiving), spitting, sixty-nine sex position, scent kink, like one spank, underwear stays on! tiny hint of arousal from crying? p in v sex, creampie

❥ a/n: this is a repost from my previous account! please enjoy anyway<3 also, going through this again made me realize once again, im a slut!!!!! this is absolutely filthy!!!! readers mutation is vague but her hair color changes to red with emotions and red light/energy she manifests in her hands! title and fic inspired by guilty as sin by taylor swift

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THE SHEETS are chilled, crisp to the touch enough that shivers tickle their way across exposed skin as a figure tosses and turns in the unmade bed. The window had been left open, and as a result, cold air had poured into the room.

Despite the fact that goosebumps adorn your body, it feels as though you’re on fire. Huffs escape parted lips, a charged hum zipping through your veins that only intensify each time you shift. You’d been trying to sleep for the past couple hours, trying to ignore the need thrumming through you, but have only managed to fail.

You turn on your side for possibly the twentieth time, but the position only serves to worsen your state as the flesh of your thighs squeeze unintentionally, a wave of brief relief sent to your throbbing cunt. Tears brim your lashes and heat coils in your tummy and fuck, your body is humming with lust and everything was so, so sensitive.

This is all Logan’s fault.

The man has been gone less than a week and yet, your body is practically vibrating with need, trembling with desire.

The feelings you harbor make you feel shameful and guilty for a handful of reasons.

Logan is not your boyfriend, he’s not even a friend. While he’s cordial with the others in the mansion, he’s remained cold and indifferent towards you.

You pretend it never bothered you, when he pointedly ignored your greetings in passing or refused to partner up with you during a mission. You didn’t understand what you’d done to upset him, to warrant his treatment of you as though you were the most annoying person on the planet.

So, logically, your heart should not race at the mere thought of him. Nor should your cunt throb and soak your panties whenever images of his sweaty form cloud your mind.

Though, you’re only human and Logan fucking Howlett is a man worth embarrassing yourself over, especially when he looks like he does.

A memory comes forward, one that has your cheeks hot with desire, your chest rising a little faster than before.

A couple weeks ago, it was late and with the way sleep evaded you, you’d been wandering the halls, in hopes of tiring yourself out. Except, when you’d walked down one of the hallways, you froze at the sight of Logan shirtless in his room, the door left ajar.

A towel covered his head as he scrubbed away the wetness in his hair, and you desperately hoped he hadn’t noticed your presence. Water dribbled down his muscular body, and your eyes greedily watched each droplet descend down. What really had you drooling, however, was the thick, prominent vein on his stomach that crept down into the waistband of his gray sweatpants.

When you had barely caught yourself from releasing a moan, you dashed back to your room right away. You were wide awake still, but for a completely different reason. All you could think about was tracing your tongue along the vein. If you’d fucked yourself that night to the thought of him, no one had to know.

So, if you gave in to desire tonight, it wouldn’t be the first time, but it certainly wouldn’t make you feel any less guilty.

Waves of warmth dust your cheeks, lips bitten until they’re swollen and spit slicked. Your breasts ache from inside the confines of the pink, lacy shirt— each labored breath you inhale have perky nipples brushing the material, sending zips of pleasure down your spine. Your hole aches so badly to be filled, and it clenches around nothing as need slicks the gusset of your panties. Your clit, puffy and neglected, throbs with pure, sizzling lust.

Another wave of butterflies floundering in your belly from the memory of Logan’s hairy chest has you giving in— a shaky hand slipping from its place on your stomach down, down, down until cold fingers meet the mess between your thighs. A gasp sounds, fluttering around the room as you brush over your clit. Even through the material of your underwear, the slight pressure of your fingers has you mewling.

Flashes of Logan dance behind closed lids, your imagination running wild while you messily swirled over your clit. You want him so, so bad, in every way possible.

You’re plagued with thoughts of him; his pretty hazel eyes, the slope of his nose, the tufts of his brown hair— the muscles that are constantly on display, his thick thighs that you want to ride until you come all over him, and the huge bulge that is ever present in those flattering jeans of his (and if it was a reoccurring fantasy of yours to ride that delicious bulge over his jeans until you both come from just dry humping, again— no one had to know).

Him hovering over you, dog tags swinging in your face as he fucks you hard. Him picking you up and taking you against a wall, lips trapped in a messy, wet top lip kiss. Him prying your thighs open as he licks up your pussy, tongue dipping into your hole to lap up all the desire pooling, his lips wrapping around the swollen bud and sucking violently. Him holding your face lovingly as his hips thrust his cock deeper down your throat, groans spilling at the gag you’d let out.

You’re split between wanting to sink down onto his cock and rut your swollen nub against the curls nestled the base of him and stuffing his dick down your throat, swallowing around him until he comes and coats your throat with his spend.

You don’t even bother to remove the damp underwear, instead circling your clit over the material— and oh, fuck. The roughness of the lace mixed with the soft rubbing of your fingers has moans tumbling from parted, wet lips.

Your unoccupied hand slips under the tiny shirt covering your chest and only settles until a nipple is pinched between determined fingers, rolling the pert bud in tandem with the swirl of your other hand on your sex.

Ecstasy nearly envelopes you and if you were more coherent, you’d be embarrassed by how fast you’re about to reach your peak. But, as it is, your brain is completely preoccupied and the only thing on your mind is lessening the pressing desire that ebbs deep within you.

And fuck, you’re so fucking needy for Logan that you try to pretend it’s his fingers abusing your clit, his fingers tugging at the sensitive buds of your chest. You want his tongue between your thighs, licking up your desire and sucking your puffy clit into his pretty mouth. You crave the burn that would tickle your most sensitive area.

You’re suddenly overwhelmed, the fantasies swirling behind your closed eyes far too much—the mix of your filthy thoughts and your fingers rubbing your nub has your legs shaking as more wetness dampens your slit.

“Logan, Logan, Logan—“ the chant of his name falls from you, the feeling of your orgasm washing over you, threatening to pull you under the tall waves of pleasure.

With your eyes scrunched shut, ears ringing white noise, and hips humping your hand pathetically, you’re a writhing mess against the sheets.

Your hair scattered around your pillow shifts from its natural state to a dark, glimmering red. Even with your eyes shut, you can feel the vermillion light whirling at your fingertips, begging to be released. Even with years of practice, your mutation is not one of subtlety.

Searing bliss coils in your lower tummy, your button tingling with the after effects of the orgasm that had just slammed into you. You sigh, because even though you just came, you feel far from satisfied. Your body buzzes with sweltering hunger, all the way down to the tips of your toes. Even if you fuck yourself dizzy with another orgasm, you know it won’t satiate your body.

Before you can slip your fingers inside your wet hole, a loud knock echos through your room.

You still, hoping that if you ignore the noise, whoever it is knocking will simply go away. But when another rhythmic thump comes a few seconds later, you huff.

It’s well past midnight at this point, so who in their right mind would be going about and slamming their fists on your door?

Apparently, you haven’t moved fast enough when the person has the nerve to knock for a third time. A growl, tinged with annoyance, slips out as you fling yourself up and off the bed.

You stomp to the door, ready to tell the person on the other side to fuck off. But when you open the mahogany door, all the anger simmering beneath your heated skin disappears, along with your breath, as your eyes take in the sight before you.

Logan Howlett stands before you, seemingly angry as a frown etches deep on his face. He glares at you, hazel eyes swarming with something unknown.

No matter how many times the man has graced you with his glare, it makes you shiver each time as if it were the first.

And little do you know, all of your craziest, fatal fantasies are about to come true.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡.

The moment Logan steps into the Mansion, finally back from the shit show of a mission Charles had sent him on, he tenses immediately.

His fingers clench into fists, tight enough that the skin threatens to turn white. The adamantium claws nearly poke through his knuckles as he inhales.

That sweet, sweet scent swarms his heightened senses, the intoxicating smell swirling strong enough that his heart speeds up, his stomach flutters, and his cock twitches within the confines of his jeans.

Logan can fucking smell you, a heady aroma that’s so completely you, teases him and threatens to break the barrier he’s put up since he met you.

He shakes himself loose from the metaphorical hold you have on him, and begins the journey to his room, trying to block out how delicious you smell.

Except, as he gets closer to the hallway he shares with you, he feels his control slipping, especially as your smell grows stronger, though now it’s tinged with something else— something sensual, sugary, and addictive.

Logan curses— you’re aroused, your scent giving you away completely. The idea of you panting as your pussy drips slick between your thighs has him clenching his jaw hard, fingers flexing and unflexing in an attempt to harness control back.

Though, that goes completely out the door as his body leads him right outside your door, unconsciously drawn to the very essence of you.

There was a reason Logan has kept the carefully crafted distance between you. The minute he was introduced to you, a new member of the x-men and teacher for the school, he knew he was fucked.

From the first look shared between you, he knew.

A pretty smile had graced your lips, eyes filled with joy as you greeted him, a hand outstretched as your hair swayed with your movements. In your pretty, little outfit (a pink, lacy dress that kissed the tops of your thighs matched with baby pink pumps) he thought you looked like a princess.

He’d stayed frozen, however, because he was assaulted with the fucking smell of you. It was nothing like he’d encountered before, and he’d been around for over a century. Your scent was so fucking sweet, vanilla and honey permeating his nostrils and right then, he’d wondered if you tasted as sweet as you smelt.

He knew that he had to keep his distance, otherwise he’d become addicted to you in every sense. If he let himself, he’d worship the very ground you walked on. He couldn’t risk having the walls he’d spent so long building to crumble.

And suddenly, he was angry that his body had reacted this way to someone he’d never even met. He was angry he wanted to press sweet kisses on your face while also wanting to fuck you against the nearest surface until you screamed.

So, with that, he’d made up his mind.

He’d simply glared at you, refused to acknowledge your existence and stormed out of Charles’ office. Since that day, he’s tried his hardest to pretend you don’t exist— if only to ease the way you constantly haunt his thoughts.

He pretends it didn’t kill him to see how your face crumbles at his rude behavior, but he can’t help it. Because if he treated you how he wants, like the princess you are, he’d never let you go.

A sudden noise shakes him from the depths of his mind, the scent of you growing stronger by the second.

“Logan, Logan, Logan,” your honeyed voice whines, and right then, the telltale snikt! sounds immediately.

What the fuck? He thinks, his mind running a mile a minute at the revelation that not only are you seemingly fucking yourself, but you’re also moaning his name.

Logan growls lowly as his claws reveal themselves, cutting through the skin of his knuckles. His body feels unnaturally hot and his cock is now uncomfortably hard in his jeans, pre-cum bubbling at his tip and staining his boxers.

With the wafts of your pretty scent and sounds of your lithe whimpers, he knows he can’t resist you any longer.

His hand rises, claws retracting as his heavy fist slams on your door. He grows impatient and knocks again when there’s no movement, and just as he’s about to speak, the door swings open.

And the sight of you, face coated with a sheen of sweat and chest heaving, has him throbbing.

Tonight is the night his control finally snaps, despite months of work put into it.

Logan is going to fucking ruin you.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡.

You gulp, a hand resting on the door frame as you stand frozen because honestly, what the fuck?

You deduce that the universe hates you because why would the man you’d been thinking of while fucking yourself be right in front of you?

It only dawns on you when Logan’s gaze swipes over your figure that you’re clad only in your pink, lacy top and the matching underwear, the latter wet with both your arousal and release.

You shrink beneath his eyes, heat simmering hot on the apples of your cheeks, and your mouth opens and closes but no words followed.

“Uh— Logan, hey!” Your voice is shaky, and whether it’s from the power of your release or the nerves that bumble within your veins at the man before you, you can’t tell. All you know is that you want the ground to swallow you up whole.

Logan doesn’t respond, just continues to stare at you in a way that you don’t understand. You assume he’s just gotten home from the very long mission, and you were confused as to why he’s at your door, especially considering how badly he despises you.

“I heard you.” His gruff tone is coated in something darker than you’ve ever heard before. For a moment, you’re lost, brows furrowing before your eyes go comically wide.

And— oh, oh.

“Can smell you, too.”

Heat licks at your whole body, embarrassment threatening to envelope you. Tears of horror tickle your lash line, because this is probably the most painful moment of your life. Not only does the man hate you, but now he’s heard you moan his name as you came all over your fingers? How pathetic are you?

You open your mouth, an apology heavy on your tongue. Though, before you can even speak a single word, Logan slams his mouth onto yours.

He holds your head softly, a deep contrast to the rough way his lips melt over yours. A moan slips from your open mouth, the feel of his lips sucking at your bottom lip intense and so, so good.

Your arms wrap around his neck, fingertips tangling themselves in the hair at his nape like you’ve wanted to do since the day you met him.

“Logan—“ you whimper against his mouth, trying and failing to understand what the fuck was happening as he slips his tongue inside your wet, warm mouth. “Logan.”

He ignores you, grunting against your spit, slicked lips as his hands travel down your curves, until they find purchase of your ass, gripping hard. A choked gasp falls from you as he suddenly pulls at you and picks you up effortlessly in his strong arms.

The idea of him picking you up with no hesitation has your hips moving forward without your control. Vaguely, you feel him move past the threshold of your door, slamming it shut before pressing your body up against the wood.

Logan switches between licking your tongue and sucking meanly at your lips, until they feel full and swollen with his attention. You’re pliant— almost willing to let him do anything he’d like to you.

Almost.

As good as his tongue feels dancing with yours, confusion still settles over your mind. Maybe this is a dream and if so, you never wanted to wake up.

“Wait—wait.” You pull back, the questions swirling inside too pressing to be ignored any longer.

“Huh, baby?” Logan groans, teeth pulling at your bottom lip before sucking the swelled skin into his mouth.

Babybabybabybabybaby— the pet name clouds your senses for a second, a rush of arousal pooling at your hole. You want to cry at how that simple word makes you feel.

“Stop that.” You mumble, pulling your head back and lips out of his reach.

Logan stares at you, unresponsive but waiting until you speak whatever is on your mind. Honestly, he wants his tongue to be buried deep in your cunt right about now, but details.

“What the fuck? What’s happening?” Breathless, the question settles between you, causing Logan’s brow to raise.

“Well, my tongue was just in your mouth—“ you slap his chest, face turning warm at his bluntness.

“Not that. I’m— why are you here? Why are you kissing me? Especially like that when you can’t stand me?” Your voice is quiet, insecurity tinged between the words. Nimble fingers grasp the dog tags that rest on his chest, and you’re grateful for the distraction.

At that, Logan’s face scrunches up, confusion floating about his irises.

“What are you talking about?” If it wasn’t for the genuine way he asked, you would’ve smacked his chest again at how clueless he was.

“What do you mean? You’ve made it very clear how you feel about me; you’ve despised my entire existence the moment we met!”

Frustration settles over you heavily, enough to snap you out of the lustful spell Logan has inflicted upon you. You slide down his body, ignoring the quiver of your cunt when you make contact with his jean clad bulge. You push at his chest, needing distance to ensure you actually get your words out and don’t end up back with his tongue down your throat.

“I don’t hate you.” Logan grunts, staring at you as you pace the wooden floors of the room. Vaguely, he’s listening, but he can’t be blamed for the way his eyes focus on the way your ass shifts with each step, the plush skin so inviting as the lace cups each cheek. “What’re you on about?”

You huff. Logan’s beginning to piss you off. The vague answers are getting on your nerves enough that you feel yourself snap.

Your hair suddenly turns bright red, a scarlet blossoming over the strands until they coat them completely. Your emotions could never be concealed, not with the way your hair turns different variations of red when you’re angry, furious, determined, aroused.

“You’ve been a dick to me, treating me like shit for no reason and now you think you can waltz in here and kiss me like that? You think you can pretend to want me when we both know that’s not true?”

Balls of fiery, red energy bloom upon your fingertips, and though you stand in your pretty pink assortment, you look the part of threatening.

Too bad the abrupt display of your mutation, mixed with fiery words, has Logan’s cock rock hard with want. He wants to have you ass up over his lap so he can watch the jiggle of each cheek as he spanks you.

“Sometimes, I question whether or not you’re actually a genius.”

And, oh. You feel the words like a punch to the gut. You’re so mad, so blinded by the intense emotions you feel for Logan, that those pesky flames of energy begin to tickle up your wrist and forearm, a telltale sign of your anger.

“Fuck you, Logan.” You hiss, your fingers warm with the heat coursing through them.

What pisses you off more, your hair and eyes darkening to a maroon, is the fact that Logan sports a faint smirk, watching you with humor as if you weren’t showcasing how riled up you were.

“Are you done yet?” Logan takes a step closer, uncaring of the way your mutation is flaring up furiously at his presence.

“Logan, leave me alone. I don’t need you to sit here and pretend to want me. I don’t need you to make fun of me, either.” Huffing, you glare up at the man before you, who stares back just as pointedly.

You turn around, back facing him as you go to enter the attached bathroom when suddenly you’re spun back around by a hand on your nape, your neck in a delicious tight grip as Logan pulls you into his body, smashing his mouth on yours for the second time tonight.

Your body betrays you as a desperate whimper tumbles from you when you register the passion Logan pours into your embrace.

His teeth bite down on your top lip, before suckling sweetly to combat the pain flourishing there. You moan, mouth falling open as he messily kisses you. The intoxicating taste of him settles over your tastebuds, his tongue swirling with yours in a way that left you dizzy with need.

A string of spit connects between your mouths as Logan pulls away, chuckling meanly when you promptly follow the warm, wetness of his lips. A rough hand grips your throat again, tight enough to leave you feeling breathless but delicious enough to make your cunt squeeze around nothing.

“So that’s what you think, princess? That I don’t want you?” Logan’s fingers flex around your throat, gripping at your jaw to capture all of your attention. As if you were anything less than enamored with him. “You think that’s what I’ve been doing, huh?”

You can only stare up at him as your heartbeat rings loudly through your eardrums. A hand goes to tug at his shirt, an attempt to steady yourself, but Logan is faster as he grips your wrist.

“Answer me.” He whispers, sensual as the hand holding yours captive begins to intertwine your fingers together.

The touch of him, the hold on your throat and roughness of his fingers in your own, renders you frozen. You’re so overcome with your emotions that you only manage to nod. Without your permission, you go limp in his hold, silently begging him to do something to satiate the hunger burning every inch of your skin.

“Words, baby. Got nothing to say now, huh?” He taunts, his grip leaving your neck in favor of thumbing at your lips.

“Yes— I…it’s what it’s seemed like, what you’ve made me feel. Thought you hated me.”

Logan’s nose twitches, no doubt smelling your arousal as more begins to drip between your thighs when his thumb plays with your bottom lip pathetically.

“Couldn’t be more wrong,” He grunts, pushing his thumb past the soft of your lips. His knees nearly buckle at the feel of your mouth closing and sucking his thumb, tongue rolling up against the skin as though it was his cock instead. “Shit, baby.”

You only whine around his finger, eyes fluttering up at him in a way that has his dick twitching with want.

“Fuck, been dreaming about you since the day we met. Been dreaming of you in every way possible.” He admits, a smile tugging at his lips at the way you freeze, lips leaving his thumb with a ‘pop’.

“What?” It’s a whisper, barely audible but he hears it all the same. The butterflies in your stomach are having a full on party now, bolts of anxiousness kissing your skin.

“Of course.” Logan leans down, pressing a kiss to your wet lips. “Knew the second I saw you you’d ruin me, so I just… stayed away. I never meant to make you think the worst. M’sorry, honey.”

This was not the way you’d expected tonight to go.

It’s as though all the confusion, anger, and sadness drain from you and its replaced with the tremulous feeling Logan causes in your body.

And despite the fact that you’ve fucked yourself thinking about him, and he’d heard, you felt incredibly shy. You drop your head to his hard chest, your hands squeezing his own where he holds them.

“I don’t know what to say.” You utter, brain all muddled and no other thoughts exist as Logan plagues every inch of your mind. You’d felt like an idiot, even though Logan has acted like a dick for the better part you’d known him.

Logan simply lifts your head, invading your senses as his nose bumps yours.

“Can I kiss you now?”

And when you nod, his lips are back on yours instantly, their rightful place.

The kiss was messy—hot, wet, and dirty. Logan moans when you jump up, strong arms catching your thighs in a tight grip. Wrapping your arms around his neck again, you lose yourself in the thrilling taste of his mouth. You unconsciously begin dragging your drenched panties across his hard dick.

You suck on his tongue before capturing his lip between your teeth, nails dragging down his shoulder blades as you do so. A loud, feral growl escapes Logan, and without another thought, he throws your pliant body on the bed.

And, at the sight of you, Logan thinks he might come right then and there. In your little outfit, so much plush, soft skin is on display. The hair tumbling from your shoulders has shifted to a dark cherry color during your kiss, and your hands are tickling with red energy, twirling up your arms, not unlike the way vines do to an old home.

This time, though, he knows you aren’t upset, but instead, aroused.

He can fucking smell the way your slick drips from your sobbing hole, how it coats your thighs.

And fuck, he wants to sink his face right in front of your pussy and inhale until he’s woozy with the smell of you.

So, that’s exactly what he does.

Your eyes widen as Logan drops onto the floor in front of the bed, yanking your body to the edge. Your lower half is completely in his grip, and he stares at you for a moment before pulling your pussy up to his nose. The feel of him so close to your puffy lips has you aching, even more so when he lowers his head and fucking sniffs you.

“Fuck, baby. Been dreaming of this since the minute I saw you. Smells so fuckin’ sweet.” Logan inhales deeply again, smattering messy, open mouthed kisses to the skin of your upper thigh. “You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to throw you over my shoulder, get you alone and eat your pussy.”

“Logan!” You whimper out. The sound was completely feeble, bordering on desperate, but you couldn’t care less, not with the way he’s sucking bruises into your skin. “Please, please.”

Spurred on by your whines, he sinks his teeth into the skin, where your thigh meets your core.

Pain simmers into pleasure as the sting is soothed by his tongue. Dark splotches decorate your upper thighs, the preview of the bruises that will decorate the skin tomorrow. Logan does this until he’s satisfied with the color blooming across the skin before him. It’s his way of solidifying that you’re his, like he’s staking his claim with his bruises smattering your thighs.

At some point your hand finds purchase in his hair, pawing at the tufts and tugging his face closer to where you need him most. He hums, the pain at his scalp sending jolts of desire throughout his body.

He sneaks a look at you, and shit, it’s the prettiest thing he’s ever seen. Your head is thrown back, sending those rebellious, red strands fluttering around you. Your hips keep canting up, and the smell of you, mixed with the previous orgasm you’d worked out before he interrupted, sends his senses in overdrive.

He decides he’s tortured you both enough and without hesitation, Logan licks a long, wet stripe up your clothed pussy, suctioning around your enlarged clit.

The taste of you, heady, sweet, and so distinctly you, floods over his tongue. He knew you’d taste good, but this? Oh, he wants to drink you up all hours of the day.

With a growl, Logan tugs the lace aside and then sucks, licks, and mouths at your cunt like a man starved. His tongue dips into your hole before licking up and down your slit.

Moans of his name echo through the walls of your room, along with the filthy sound of the sucking of your swollen clit.

You’ve never felt like this before, the way he’s eating you out has your entire body on fire, and if you could see yourself, you’d see how ruby colored lines swirl brighter around your hands, how your hair practically glows vermillion.

He’s been attracted to you the minute he saw you— but the way you look when your mutation is at work? The way your hair shifts shades of intoxicating reds? The way the fiery energy glows from the tips of your fingers and up your elbows? Oh, how it fucking wrecks him. He just wants to keep you captive in this bedroom for all of eternity, if only to see you like this all the time.

“Feels so fucking good, fuck.” You’re a blubbering mess, hands tugging Logan’s hair hard, resulting in a moan that vibrates your pussy.

“Mine.” He grunts, and you gasp at the sensation of saliva as he spits directly onto your clit. “My fuckin’ pussy.”

Then, he latches his soft lips around your puffy bud and sucks hard. His dirty words and lucious mouth have your thighs shivering and hips bucking with want.

Like you’d done when you were alone and thinking about him, whimpers of ‘Logan’ sound as you hump his face.

“That’s it, baby, say my name. Taste so fuckin’ good.” He hums against your puffy, wet pussy.

A stream of ‘fuckfuckfuck’ spills from open lips, forming an ‘o’ as the rush of delicious, hot pleasure pours over you completely.

Your vision blurs— body nearly succumbing to the intense bliss prickling across your being. You barely even register how you’ve locked your legs around Logan’s head, captive in a tight grip as you rub your clit along his nose. With the way he’s grunting along your slit, you don’t think he minds.

As you come down, the pleasure fizzles out and overwhelming tingles steal its place as Logan continues to lap at your wetness, groaning at your taste.

“S’too much, Logan.” Shaky hands grip the brown locks and you try and fail to bring the man away from your throbbing hole. His tongue swirls along your clit and hole, dipping in as deep as he can to savor every last drop. “Oh, fuck.”

“Taste too fuckin’ sweet, baby. Can’t help it.”

Logan grips tightly at your thighs, pinching meanly at the flesh as he licks and sucks at your pretty, puffy clit. He can’t get enough, and seemingly, neither can you, with the way you buck into his warm, slick mouth despite your weak protests. The material of your underwear snaps back against you as Logan’s grip loosens, but he still eats you out as though there’s no barrier, only soaking the lace more.

His soft lips and dangerous tongue make it difficult to do anything but take the mind-numbing pleasure.

He’s content to stay here; between your gorgeous thighs and devour your cunt all night, pull orgasms from you until you forget everything except the syllables that make up his name.

Except, the words that come from you have him freezing against you, his cock aching and responding immediately to the addictive tilt of your voice.

“Logan— Logan, wanna suck your cock. Please.”

It’s as though you’re made for him— every inch of you riles him up like no one else has before and he has to take a deep, deep breath to refrain from coming in his jeans like a damn virgin.

With one last lick up your lace covered sex, his face is suddenly above yours and the sight is lethal. The entirety of his lower face is coated in wetness, glistening and gleaming that he wears with pride. His eyes look animalistic, the hazel taken over by the black of dilated pupils.

Logan looks at you like he wants to fucking destroy you. You know without a doubt you’d let him.

A sweet, gentle kiss is placed upon your mouth, a warm caress of his tongue on yours, the musky taste of your cunt dancing along your tastebuds. You whine once more, because you crave the heady taste of his cock that you desperately want. Your mouth salivates at the thought of his tip heavy on your tongue.

“Easy, honey. Can smell how bad you want it.”

If you weren’t in such a hazed state, you’d be mortified at the knowledge Logan can smell your arousal.

“Logan.” Pathetic whimpers and moans against his mouth have him pulling back, gritting his teeth to have a sense of control. It doesn’t work, not with the way you’re splayed out below him, face pretty with lust.”Please.”

How was he meant to last when you sounded like that? All fucked out and dizzy from just his tongue alone?

He lays down beside you, heart thumping at the way your watery eyes watch him move.

“C’mere’.” Logan mutters, yanking your body over him and all the way up his chest, maneuvering you until your pussy is hovering above his mouth, your lips hovering over his cock.

Dizzy on Logan, saliva pools in your mouth at the sight of his bulge, massive even in the confines of jeans.

You’re confused as to why Logan put you on his chest, but it makes sense when he yanks your thighs down, mouth finding your wet, sopping sex immediately.

You cry out, hips jolting at the way his tongue pushes the pink fabric away from your puffiness, lips wrapping around your clit. When he notices how you’re shaking on his face, unmoving beside the subtle thrusts of hips, he stops.

“Lo—“

“Go on then, baby. Suck my cock, just like you wanted.”

And oh, you both feel the wetness that follows after those rasped words tinge the air.

Only once you undo that damn belt buckle and pull both his jeans and boxers down, just enough to see the way his cock bounces out, bubbling precome at the red, swollen tip, does Logan resume eating your pussy.

Fueled by the return of those talented lips, you lean forward without another thought.

Licking from base to tip, a moan vibrates against his cock as you hum, a taste that’s so Logan flooding your senses. You lick up and down him messy, spitting on the tip of him as you slick his dick up, before finally wrapping your lips around him.

“Fuck, baby.” His growl is borderning on feral; his teeth finding purchase on your asscheek and biting, in an attempt to ground himself. It only serves to have his hips jump at the feel of you whining on him, sucking him down so fucking good. “Fuck, knew you’d be good with that pretty fuckin’ mouth.”

He’s so focused on the way you’ve started bobbing up and down the length of him, dazed with the warmth and wetness as you suck and swirl your tongue, that he’s stopped his attention to you, something he’s only reminded of as you wiggle over him.

“Sorry, princess, you’re driving me fuckin’ crazy.” He grits out, fingers gripping the flesh of your thighs at the little ‘hmph!’ released as you pull off his cock.

Though he can’t see you, he knows there’s a string of spit that spans your swollen lips to his pulsating cock. He shutters, overwhelmed by you entirely, before burying his face into your weepy cunt.

”Oh! Logan, feels so good!” With a pathetic little whimper, his cock fills your mouth again as you sink down, satisfied with the way his tongue is licking at you once more.

A blend of both your moans float about the walls, as he wraps his lips around your puffed clit, as you ease his cock down your throat.

Logan’s eating you out messily, crazed by the tang of you soaking his mouth, chin, and nose. Despite the warmth bubbling in his stomach, he’s determined to make you come on his tongue again first.

When thick fingers nudge into your hole unexpectedly, you mewl at the blissful feeling.

Logan’s fingers work steadily inside you, in tandem with the way his mouth suckles meanly at your button. You’re an absolute mess— grinding down on his face, riding his fingers earnestly, gagging as Logan’s hips match the pace of his fingers, grunts vibrating against you as he fucks your throat.

Logan curls his fingers in a way that has you seeing every fucking color of the rainbow. You come, moaning around the base of his cock and rocking back and forth on his fingers and mouth, muffled sobs spilling from your stuffed mouth.

When he feels you shivering on his tongue, overstimulated and sensitive, he pulls away from your center, the soaked fabric of your panties falling back into place once more.

Your mouth is still full of him, lips lazily sucking him down as your body tries to get ahold of the white, sizzling pleasure still coursing through you.

“C’mere, baby.”

It’s a soft whisper against your thigh, but it settles over you, his soothing voice swirling around your shaky body like a warm blanket. Letting his cock fall from your lips, you scramble as fast as your body will allow before you find yourself straddling Logan, staring down at the man with cloudy, wet eyes.

And maybe Logan is sick— because the sight of tears spilling over your cheeks has his cock unbelievably hard, a growl threatening to tumble out at the way your pretty, crimson hair spills over your shoulders.

Still, he needs to make sure you’re okay.

“What’s wrong, princess?” Logan watches at the way a small smile graces your features, even as tears continue to glisten your lash line. “You okay?”

“Nothing's wrong, just feel so good.” Your voice is a little hoarse, no doubt from the way his dick was fucking your whiny mouth. Still, your voice is still the sweetest thing he’s ever heard, those few words going straight to his dick.

Logan feels his own lips tug upwards as you speak. Even though he’s fucked you silly and stolen two orgasms, he tenses with desire as he notes the want dancing in your eyes.

“Good.”

“Mhmm.”

There’s a beat of silence, a moment where hungry eyes lock in on one another, sensual energy and tension threatening to break.

Then, in a flash, lips are locked and tongues whirl together familiarly. It’s a hot, sensual kiss filled to the brim with desire— the passion almost too much with how it lights up every inch of your bodies, a fire threatening to spread.

Neither of you are sure who moved first— but it doesn’t matter because the way Logan’s hand wraps around your hair, creating a makeshift ponytail in a tight grip, steals your attention.

If someone were to see the two of you, they would see how desperate and needy you both were.

You’re sucking on Logan’s top lip, biting before soothing the sting with a sweet, soft suck. Your thighs are spread over his own entirely and your position has your cunt settled over his cock nicely. Logan’s free hand grips the skin of your ass tight, guiding as you grind against him, the soaked panties catching on the tip of him with each thrust. The fingers tangled in your hair are unforgiving, tugging harshly as Logan grunts into your open mouth.

You’re both a mess of passion and lust— and you’re body thrums with the idea of his cock inside you.

“Such a good girl, that’s it. Fuck—“ Logan nearly whines, the feel of you humping him has him trapping your lips in another allconsumimg kiss.

Your hands, lit up with energy, find purchase in his pretty hair, tugging as he kisses you messy because everything is somehow too much and not enough.

“Logan— need you. Need you so bad, baby.”

Logan wants to eat you up entirely— somehow you’re still not satiated, rubbing your slick all over his lap and begging him for more. If he was a better man, he would’ve fucked you already. As it is, he likes it a little too much hearing you beg for him.

“Shhh, you got me, honey. I’m right here.”

“Fuck me, please. Need you inside, Logan.”

There’s tears in your eyes again, ready to spill over if the ache between your thighs isn’t soothed in the next five minutes. You’re clinging to him, hips stuttering because it’s just not enough and you both know it.

“My poor baby.” He hums, the words somehow a mix of condescending and genuine and it makes you cry out. “So needy, huh?”

“Just for you.” The way you say it, it’s a message you both understand— you need him in every way possible, not just sexually.

He wonders if you know just how badly he needs you, especially now that he’s got a taste of you.

“I’m yours—“ you start, but it’s cut off by the squeak you emit when you’re suddenly flipped over, Logan’s muscular form hovering over you, his dog tags swinging between you.

“You’re mine.” It’s not a question, but a statement and it sends a thrill through you.

“Yours.” You’re nodding, eyes wide and so fucking pretty that it makes Logan squeeze his hands, the metal of his claws threatening to break through the skin.

He pulls his shirt off then, pride filling his chest at the way your eyes glaze over, a lip taken between your teeth as you stare at the vein that leads to his cock, which is painfully hard and cherry red at the tip.

He doesn’t comment on your lustful eyes, instead tracing his fingers down your body, until he reaches the hem of your baby pink, lacy top. It doesn’t leave much to the imagination but Logan might break something if he doesn’t see your tits in all their glory.

You get the message, leaning up and slowly pulling the fabric from your chest, your breasts and midsection on full display. If he hadn’t already eaten you out twice, you would’ve moved to cover your taut nipples. Instead, you grip the chain of his necklace and pull him back down with you, sighing when you’re chest to chest.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted this?” He says, pecking your lips once, licking a stripe down your throat. Wetness coats both nipples as his tongue swirls over them. “Do you know how badly I’ve wanted to have you under me?”

You moan, nails digging into his shoulder blades at the fluttery feeling his lips bring, deep enough to elicit blood from his skin. Logan groans, head tipping back as his hips thrust down suddenly, the tip of his cock ramming into your clit.

“Fuck, Logan.” Your hands span the expanse of his back, scratching each time he bumps your button just right. His jeans are still on, resting just below his thighs and the way he couldn’t even get up to properly take them off makes you shudder.

He’s rutting against you now, dick rubbing sensually over your panties and it dawns on you then that he hasn’t even come yet, too preoccupied with taking care of you.

Determined, you slide one hand onto his asscheek, pushing him further into you, while your other grips his chin, pulling his mouth to yours in a slick, open-mouth kiss.

“C’mon Logan, fuck me, please.”

Logan turns into something animalistic then— flipping you over onto your stomach without warning, caging you between his arms. Your gasp is audible as he yanks your soaked panties to the side, before thrusting forward, and fucks his cock into you with one thrust.

“Oh my god, fuck me, fuck me, fuck me—“ the feel of Logan finally inside you has you absolutely fucking drunk on the feel of him.

“Tryin’ to, baby.” He grits, arms flexing beside your head, fingers intertwined with yours as he sinks into you, inch by inch, until you were filled to the brim.

Logan’s body covers yours, lips pressing all over your shoulder blades to soothe the little whines you let out at how fucking full you feel. It’s everything you wanted and more— you want to memorize the feel of him, every ridge and vein as he stuffs you.

“Baby,” he grunts, fingers flexing with yours as he stays still, for your sake. “So fuckin’ tight, so fuckin’ wet.”

And it’s true— despite the fact that he’s huge, he slipped in easily because of the mess you created, a slick mix of your come and desire costing your slit.

“Logan, fuck me, please.” You speak, so sweetly, as if you’re not impaled by his cock right now.

With that, he slips out of you slowly, before fucking into you hard, deep. Then, he fucking ravishes you— creating a steady, fast paced rhythm and fucking you dumb with his cock.

Your hair grows darker, hands glittering between his grip each time he slams into you, each time your cunt squeezes and pulses around him.

Completely cock drunk, your back arches, ass up and hips slamming back against his with your cheek pressed into the mattress as you sob.

You’re so fucking needy that his own thighs become sticky and wet with your desire and Logan growls at the sight, fucking you even faster.

“You’re mine.” Logan grunts, releasing your fingers in favor of gripping your hair and pulling you up until your back is pressing into his chest. “My fuckin’ girl.”

“Yours!” You whimper, tears rolling down your face. Your entire body is filled with pleasure, and you feel like you can’t breathe with how overwhelmed you are, with how much euphoria you feel. “M’so close!”

“I know, honey, I know. Can feel you fuckin’ squeezin’ around me.“ Logan moans out, pushing you back down into the mattress and finding purchase on your hips, pulling you back hard and quick. “Gonna come all over me?”

You don’t answer, instead crying out as you feel a sharp flash of pain on your asscheek, Logan’s hand swift and quick. The pain mixes into pleasure when he rubs at the red skin, pressing sweet kisses on your back.

He wishes you could see yourself right now; maybe then you would understand why he’s so intoxicated by you.

Your pretty body bent over, ass up and face in the sheets as whimpers tumble out. The lace that drove him crazy is yanked to the side, grazing his cock each time he drives deeper inside you. You’re so fucking beautiful like this, he wants to keep you forever.

Sweet, whiny ‘uh,uh’s’ fill Logan’s ears as he speeds up, pulling you back up once more against his chest. He wants to be as close as fucking possible, the feel of your skin on his almost searing.

You turn your head back, lips seeking out his own. He kisses you, sucking at your lips as he continues to fuck you vigorously.

The fluttery feeling of your cunt squeezing around him suddenly sends him over the edge— low groans falling in your open mouth as hot, searing spurts of his come coat your walls.

Knowing that Logan finally gave into the temptation like you’d done all night, has you whining as your own orgasm surrounds your entire being.

“Baby—“ Logan thrusted shallowly, riding your orgasms out as long as he can. If he could, he’d never leave this feeling behind. Seemingly, you agree as your nails dug into his forearms that hold you up, eyes squeezing shut at the overpowering bliss tingling everywhere. “I got you, it’s okay.”

“Logan, fuck!” It came out as a whine, your lips sucking lightly on his neck, body completely limp in his hold.

You’ve never been so incredibly sex-dazed in your life; from this point on, Logan has ruined you for anyone else.

Though, you hope there won’t be anyone else.

Logan kisses your head before untangling from you; a smirk dancing across his usually gruff features at the little whine you let out as he pulls out. He gently rolle you onto your back, laying your head gently on the pillows. It’s such a stark difference to the rough way he fucked you minutes prior, but butterflies flutter around all the same.

You watch his eyes trail lower, landing on the mess between your thighs.

Logan is mesmerized by the sight; your pussy is all puffy and so fuckin’ wet with his come seeping out of your hole. Mindlessly, he lowers himself until he’s eye level with your sex. Without any warning, his fingers are back inside.

He ignores your hiss in favor of trying to push his come back inside, to keep you full of him. His eyes meet yours, watching as your chest rises as you observe him. There’s a glint in your eye that has his heart stuttering.

“I want to kiss you.” You whisper, soft and a little bashful, as if he didn’t have his fingers inside you. You look too perfect, hair returning to its original color, eyes cloudy with unspoken words, a smile spread over your face.

How could he deny you when you look like that?

Logan kisses your clit once, twice, three times, enjoying the way you jolt, before removing his fingers.

With those same digits, he sticks them in his mouth, sucking the flavor of you both and humming. He can hear the way your heart picks up at his actions. He releases them with a loud ‘pop’, before finally coming back to you.

He hovers over you, and like you’d done earlier, soft hands pull at the chain until his lips meet yours in a soft kiss. Logan pulls back, resting his head on yours as he matches your stare.

“Hi.” You hum then, nose bumping his in the proximity.

“Hi, baby.” Logan kisses your lips once more, before rolling beside you. You would’ve whined at him if it weren’t for the way he immediately pulls you onto his chest.

With your limbs tangled, a kiss pressed to your forehead, you think this could be heaven and if so, you never want to leave.

It’s quiet for a moment— the two of you content to listen to one another’s heartbeat, the breaths that fall from lips. Then, you break the silence, because of course you do.

“Logan?”

“Hmm?”

“Just so you know, I’m expecting you to take me out before you get me like this again.” Its muttered against his slick chest, where your head rests as you wrap yourself around the man like a koala.

A deep laugh fills the room, chest rumbling because what the fuck?

He’s fucked you, with his mouth and cock, and you’re laying on him as his come seeps out of you and you’re demanding him to take you out?

He was going to in the first place, but he thinks it’s cute you decide for him.

Logan may be a man that’s been alive for almost two centuries, practically immortal, but it’s completely possible you’ll be the death of him.

[mononijikayu]

toxic till the end — fushiguro toji.

“You can’t fix everything. You should know that.” you replied, your words trembling as they left your lips. “I don’t know if I can ever forget that.” He nodded slowly, his expression one of deep regret. “I know.” Silence grew once more between the two of you.  You could feel the tears pricking your eyes harshly. And you could tell that he was noticing as much as you.

GENRE: alternate universe - actor/s au!;

WARNING/S: afab! reader, nsfw, r-18, smut, making out, biting, scratching, kissing, rough sex, p-i-v sex, fingering (female receiving), creampie, pet names (babe, etc....), age gap (reader is late 20s, toji is mid 30s) love, humor, light-hearted, long-term relationship, secret relationship, cheating, break-up, falling out of love, toxic relationship, drama, depression, grief, sexual intercourse, depictions of sexual acts, depiction of naked bodies, depiction of cheating, depiction of grief, depiction of depression, mention of sexual innuendo, mention of sexual intercourse, actor! toji, actor! reader;

WORD COUNT: 15k words

NOTE: i know i disappeared for almost a week and im really sorry,,,,,i just wasn't feeling well and in the middle of that - i was also busy. i genuinely wanted to publish something but there were things that came up - including me finishing a commission. and also worrying about uni stuff. its a really long one, i still have stuff to edit for bonus cuts for that. i am really sorry but i come back with a fury with toji!!! anyway, i hope my absence didnt make yall leave. enjoy and i love yall :']

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YOU NEVER LIKED BEING PERCEIVED. Even if you were an actor, you didn’t want to be. You absolutely hated the attention, you hated having to be known to people you didn’t know on the street.

He knew that. Which is why you never allowed yourself to go on dates with him in that local restaurant. Or ever allow yourself to be comfortable kissing him, knowing paparazzis were following you both. 

But he was loud about his love for you. He always has been. It was obvious when he looked at you during press tours. It was obvious when he heard the sound of your name and smiled like it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard.

He was never good at hiding the fact that he was in love. That’s just how it was with loving a man so magnetic and passionate as him. He tried to convince you that he wanted the world to know. 

Yet, you weren’t prepared to do that. You weren’t prepared for the world to know, for the world to be in your bed. You didn’t want everyone to know that you were his, because you were scared. You were scared of what could happen.

You’ve gone through the trauma of it before, your own ex–boyfriend announcing the break–up before you even knew about the break up. And all the people that hated you, for making him sad. For all those fantasies in their head of all the things you did wrong. You were frightful that it would repeat all over again.

Perhaps he got tired of that. Perhaps he got tired of waiting. Maybe he got tired of you. And you were scared of that. You were scared that this was the case.

You were horrified that he would do the same thing like that ex-boyfriend you loved before. You didn’t want to manifest it. But you also didn’t make a move. You were right. He would get tired of you. You made it this way. You let this happen.

The apartment was eerily silent, the kind of silence that pressed down on you, making every breath feel heavier. You stood in the living room, arms crossed, heart racing as you waited for Toji to come home. He had a late night shoot, he told you. They’d extended the shoot, because of the weather. That’s what he said in the next text. He won’t be home until today.

But as you waited home, all that plagued your mind was the conversation with your friend this morning. You felt sick as the words repeated over the phone.

It won’t go away, not even when you want it to. It remained ever so present, still echoing, hammering deep in your mind. It was as if the weight of her words settled deep in your chest like a knife would. 

"I saw Toji last night." she had said, her voice hesitant. "He was with someone else."

“What….what do you mean by that?” You muttered back at her, still reeling from the words that slipped from her mouth. “Surely it was just another cast member—”

“They were kissing, babes.” She told you earnestly, yet you could tell she was having a hard time with it. She knew that everything she’s saying was breaking your heart. “I’m so sorry.”

“No…no, thank you for telling me.”

You hung up after that. You didn’t know what else to say. What could you have said that could have made it any better? You couldn’t think of anything. All that remained were the years of memories together, now scattered across that empty space where love should be. 

The betrayal, the doubt, and the fear had been building in that space where you should feel your love for him. A place where it is still there, that love, bleeding and tattered by all that grief that comes with mourning the relationship. And now, standing here in the place you both called home, it felt like you were about to explode.

The door clicked open just around lunch time. You had remembered you had given Toji a separate key for your house. Just as you had a key for his. You didn’t want to see him just yet. Not right now. Fushiguro Toji stepped in, face covered by the levelling of his cap. His usual confident demeanor clouded by an unease you hadn’t seen before. He looked at you, the tension in the air immediately palpable.

Babe, didn’t know you’d be awake." he said, trying to sound casual but failing miserably.

"You said you’d never do that to me." you replied, your voice trembling with a mix of hurt and anger. “You said you wouldn’t be like him.”

He nodded, closing the door behind him. "Alright. What’s going on?"

"I know you were with someone else last night, and you kissed her. My friend saw you." you spat, your voice breaking with the anger and pain you kept hidden. "How could you do this? How could you betray me like that?"

His eyes widened, and for a moment, he looked caught off guard. Then his expression hardened. "It’s not what you think."

"Not what I think?" you repeated, your voice rising. "Then explain it to me, Toji. Explain why you were out with someone else while I was here, thinking everything was fine."

"I was tired, okay?" he snapped back, his voice louder now, the frustration evident. "Tired of feeling like I���m not enough, like I’m just waiting for you to trust me."

“How long has it been?” You asked him. “How long have you and your lover been going behind my back?”

“Babe—”

“How long?”

He looked away, the contorting guilt bellowing all over his face. This was a look you had seen time and time again. “A few months.”

"A few months." You repeated.

“Yes, but it was casual hook ups and she has a boyfriend too—”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” you shouted, tears streaming down your face. "You think that’s going to fix anything?"

"I didn’t plan for it to happen." he said, his voice softening, but the damage was done. "I was just... I felt alone."

"You felt alone?" you repeated, the hurt in your voice cutting through the air. "What about me, Toji? Do you have any idea how alone I’ve felt, wondering if you’d get tired of me, if you’d leave me like everyone else has?"

He took a step closer, his expression filled with regret. "I never wanted to hurt you."

"But you did." you whispered, the fight leaving your body as the weight of it all pressed down on you. "God, I just….is it my fault? Is it because I have a busy schedule? Or is it just because I haven’t allowed the world to know about you? And you were desperate to be seen with someone?”

He shook his head. “That’s not the case.”

“It seems to look like it.” You laughed to yourself, almost mad in the thought of your grief. “You did say she had a boyfriend. I doubt that would have changed much, if she knew that you belonged to someone.”

He took a step closer, his eyes searching yours, filled with a regret that almost made your heart ache. His voice, usually so steady, trembled with sincerity. "Please, let’s talk about this. I can make this right."

The words hung in the air, heavy and bittersweet. You wanted to believe him, to let those words soothe the rawness inside you. But they felt too late, like a balm for wounds already too deep. You shook your head, the fight draining from your body as the weight of it all pressed down on you.

"You cheated on me. So brazenly." you whispered, your voice barely audible, laced with pain. "Just like he has. Just like every other man I’ve ever let into my life." The admission stung, the truth of it settling in your chest like a stone. 

“Babe…..”

"Maybe you were just another number, another ex."

His face twisted in anguish, his hands clenching at his sides. "Babe, please, listen to me—"

“I’ve listened to you long enough.” Your voice was soft but firm, carrying the finality of a decision made. Tears blurred your vision, hot and relentless, streaking down your cheeks. “Just... leave your keys. I’m going. I can’t stand to look at you or stay with you here.”

The silence that followed was deafening. Toji's gaze faltered, his lips parting as if he wanted to say something more, to plead, to explain. But no words came. Slowly, he reached into his pocket, pulling out the keys that once symbolized shared moments, shared spaces, and placed them gently on the table.

“I’m sorry.” he said, his voice barely a whisper, a final echo of the love that had once been so vibrant between you.

You didn’t respond. There was nothing left to say. You turned, each step feeling heavier than the last as you walked away, leaving behind the remnants of a relationship that had once held so much promise. The door clicked shut behind you, the sound resonating like a chapter closing.

After that, he took all his stuff from your place and left. Even the keys. And you were glad he did. You were glad he wasn’t there. You blocked his number, you told your friends to stop relaying any messages from him he sent. You even cancelled any appearances with him for work, especially those for the Japanese leg of the press tour for Jujutsu Kaisen. 

And then you disappeared, as though you didn’t exist.

You moved apartments, you didn’t tell anyone where you were. Only your manager knew, just so you could make it easier for her to pick you up for work schedules when you start doing them again. And changed phones and deleted your social media presence. You just wanted to be alone. You wanted to process the death of a seven year relationship. 

Over half a year later, they start to see you again. The last they had seen you, you were still red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. You had explained that you dealt with some personal loss, which wasn’t untrue. People had speculations, they always have. But you didn’t want to admit to anything. You just let them have their fun and you let yourself have your grief. 

The mirror had become a stranger for a while, reflecting someone you barely recognized, a shadow of the person you once were with Toji. The truest you had been yourself was with him. And now you have lost that. You had lost the version of yourself you had loved so dearly. And you hated how that too had revolved around him. Your most beloved life was him.

You hadn't planned on disappearing, not really. But each day felt heavier, each step harder to take, until retreating into the quiet solace of your loneliness and grief became the only thing you could manage.

And everyone in your agency was understanding of that. You haven’t truly taken a break in your entire career. And with that burn out, as much as the heartache, you had to have your time to yourself.

Little by little, you started to pick yourself up from the ruins of the failed relationship. Little by little you found yourself able to breathe again, even though you were still against the crashing waves of pain. At the very least there was some progress. At least you were getting somewhere.

Though, you couldn’t escape him. How could you, when he was so beloved by the world? Every corner of your world seemed to echo with the ghost of him. His face, smiling and confident, stared down at you from every billboard, a constant reminder of what you had lost years of your life to. Years you were the prettiest to yourself.

His voice filled the airwaves, every interview a cruel twist of fate, his laughter a haunting melody that played on repeat in your mind. Fushiguro Toji. His name was a bittersweet whisper, both a comfort and a curse, lingering in the recesses of your heart.

No one else knew that you had broken up. It was a secret you held close, it was a grief that belonged to you and only you. It was a wound too fresh and raw to expose to the world.

You hadn’t found the courage to say anything, convinced that speaking it aloud would make it all too real. Besides, you believed you didn’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Your pain was yours alone, a private storm that no one else could weather.

As you walked through the winding streets of Tokyo, the city lights blurred against your vision, your eyes glistening with unshed tears. The vibrant energy of the city felt distant, a stark contrast to the numbness that enveloped you. The world moved on, oblivious to the turmoil within you.

No one understood what you felt. No one probably ever would. It wasn’t just the loss of a relationship; it was the loss of a dream, a shared future that had unraveled before your eyes. The quiet moments, the laughter, the unspoken promises. They were all gone, leaving behind an emptiness that you didn’t know how to fill.

You kept walking, the sounds of the city fading into the background, your mind a whirlwind of memories and emotions. The ache in your chest was a constant reminder of what once was, and what could never be again. But even in the midst of the pain, you knew you couldn’t stay hidden forever. Life was waiting, and somehow, you had to find a way to live it again.

The door to your apartment closed behind you with a soft click, but the silence inside felt deafening. You slipped off your shoes and let your bag fall to the floor, the weight of the day pressing heavily on your shoulders. The familiar surroundings felt foreign now, as if the air itself had shifted, carrying the remnants of memories you weren’t ready to face.

You wandered through the small space, your eyes scanning the room aimlessly. You knew you should do something, anything to distract yourself. So you started cleaning, hoping the mundane task would occupy your mind. You wiped down the counters, straightened the cushions, and folded the laundry. But every movement felt mechanical, your thoughts drifting back to him.

Then you saw it—his jacket. Your mouth went agape at the sight of it. It hung innocuously by the door, just as it always had when he would visit your apartment. You didn’t know you still had it, from the move. You didn’t know the movers packed it too. He didn’t take it with him when he left the house. 

You froze, your breath catching in your throat. It was the same jacket he had worn countless times, the one that carried his scent, a mixture of cologne and something uniquely him. Without thinking, you reached out, your fingers grazing the fabric.

The moment you touched it, the floodgates opened. The tears came fast and uncontrollable, pouring down your face as you clutched the jacket to your chest. You sank to the floor, the weight of your sorrow too much to bear.

The scent of him enveloped you, bringing back a rush of memories. His arms around you, his laugh, the way he would kiss your forehead when you were feeling down.

You cried for everything you had lost. For the love you had poured into a man who could never fully be yours. A man older, with a life that always seemed just out of reach. A man who cherished his independence, who was never truly tethered to you in the way you had hoped. You had given him your prettiest years, the best of yourself, only to be left with the pieces of a broken heart.

Tomorrow was the shoot, and you knew you had to pull yourself together. The contract was signed long before the breakup, back when you thought working together would be another way to share your dreams, your passions, your lives. Now, it was the weight pulling you into a reality you weren’t ready to face.

Tonight, the pain was too fresh, too overwhelming. How could you stop crying when every corner of your life was a reminder of him? When his presence still lingered in the smallest things, like a ghost haunting the spaces you once shared?

You stayed there, curled on the floor, clutching the jacket as the tears continued to fall. It wasn’t just about losing him. It was about losing the future you had imagined, the dreams you had built together.

And as the night stretched on, you let yourself grieve, knowing that somehow, you had to find the strength to face tomorrow. But for now, all you could do was cry.

══════════════════

MORNING ALWAYS DOES COME. And when it does, you try to make the effort to still stand on your own two toes. When the morning came, exhausted and numb, there you were facing the inevitable.

You bowed to everyone, greeting them with as much enthusiasm as you could muster. You smiled as though there was no problem at all. Chattered and sat there on the make–up chair like nothing had happened. As if there was nothing at all that shattered you to nothing. 

The studio lights felt harsher than you remembered, their unforgiving brightness illuminating every inch of the set—and every crack in your heart. It was as if they knew, as if they were exposing the rawness inside you, the pain you had tried so hard to bury. The bustling crew moved around you, adjusting cameras, checking props, but their chatter seemed distant, muffled by the storm in your mind.

You couldn’t help but feel nervous, your hands trembling ever so slightly. It felt strange, almost surreal, like this was your first time stepping in front of the camera. You had done this a hundred times before, but today was different. 

Today, you were a different person. The warmth of reassurance that once came from a simple touch, his hand brushing against yours, his quiet, steady presence—was gone. You were on your own now, and the weight of that reality pressed down on you like a heavy cloak.

You swallowed hard, the bile rising in your throat as the familiar sting of tears threatened to break free. Your muscles tensed, contorting as you fought the overwhelming urge to let go, to release the tears that had been building up inside you. But you didn’t. You wouldn’t. You couldn’t let yourself fall apart here, not now.

Not now, you repeat to yourself, a mantra you clung to with every ounce of strength you had left. You didn’t want it. You didn’t want the tears, the loneliness, the pain. You didn’t need it. You had told yourself this over and over again. You didn’t need to feel this, not here, not under the glaring scrutiny of the studio lights and the watchful eyes of everyone around you.

Your breaths came in shallow, shaky gulps as you forced yourself to focus, to channel everything into the character you were about to portray. The lines blurred between the role you played and the person you were, but you clung to that thin line of separation, hoping it would hold. This was your sanctuary, your escape. If you could just hold on a little longer, maybe the pain wouldn’t consume you.

You could do this, you told yourself.

You could survive this, you know you could.

It’s only for a few weeks of this misery.

But as you lifted your eyes, you saw him again.

And all that resolve dissolved almost instantly.

Fushiguro Toji stood across the room, talking to the director, his usual charm evident in the way his shoulders shook with laughter. The sound of it, rich and familiar, carried across the set, drawing the attention of those nearby. He looked relaxed, his posture loose, his smile easy. He seemed to be in happy spirits, more than the last time you saw him.

It was a sharp contrast to the last memory you had of him—tense, conflicted, the weight of your shared history etched into every line of his face. But now, he seemed lighter, as if the burden of your breakup had lifted from his shoulders. The sight of him like this stirred a mix of emotions within you. Jealousy, sadness, and an aching longing you tried to suppress.

You watched from a distance, your gaze lingering longer than you intended. It was painful, seeing him so carefree, as if nothing had changed, as if the past weeks hadn’t unraveled you both. But there he was, moving through the room with an ease that seemed effortless, while you struggled to keep your composure.

The director clapped him on the back, and Toji’s laugh echoed again, brighter this time. You quickly averted your eyes, pretending to busy yourself with your script, but the image of him remained imprinted in your mind. It was harder than you thought it would be, being in the same space, breathing the same air, while feeling worlds apart.

For a moment, you wondered if he had truly moved on, or if this was just a façade, a mask to hide whatever he might still be feeling. But you pushed the thought away. It didn’t matter. What mattered now was surviving this day, this scene, and the countless others that would follow. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the inevitable interaction. You had to face him eventually.

The director’s voice cut through the low hum of the studio, calling for everyone to take their places. “Alright, let’s get started! Everyone, introduce yourselves before we begin.”

You took a deep breath, forcing your shoulders to relax as you stepped forward with the rest of the cast. The weight of the moment pressed heavily on your chest, but you reminded yourself to stay calm, to keep it together. 

Your eyes, however, betrayed you, flickering towards Toji for the briefest second before you snapped them away, focusing instead on a point somewhere beyond him. You were a professional. You had done this countless times before. You had been through worse—or so you told yourself. You could do this. You had to do this. 

As the introductions began, your turn loomed closer. Each name and face passed by in a blur until the spotlight shifted to you. You bowed to each and every one, smiling at them as best you could even though you couldn’t process it all just yet. 

“Hello, nice to meet you all!” you said, introducing yourself. Your voice is steady despite the storm within. “It’s great to be working with everyone.”

Your words were polite, professional, and utterly detached. At least you notice it. But the others didn’t seem to. You could see the blur in all their smiles towards you, shining in a way you couldn’t recognize. You barely registered the murmured responses of the others, your focus pinned on keeping your composure. Then it was Toji’s turn.

He stepped forward, his presence commanding as always. “Fushiguro Toji.” he said, his voice carrying effortlessly across the room. There was a familiar warmth in his tone, one that made your heart clench. “Looking forward to working with all of you.”

His blue–green eyes flicked to you, just for a moment, but it was enough to send a ripple of tension through your body. You held his gaze for a heartbeat longer than you intended, before quickly looking away, pretending to be engrossed in the script in your hands.

The director clapped his hands together, breaking the moment. “Alright, let’s dive into it! Remember, the first scene is a heavy scene, so take your time and feel it out. Call for a cut any time you want to. So let’s start, like we rehearsed.”

You nodded at the director. Everyone moved to their places, and you found yourself standing just a few feet away from Toji. The air between you felt charged, the unspoken history hanging like a shadow over the set. He glanced at you, his expression unreadable.

“Ready?” he asked, his voice softer now, almost cautious.

You nodded, not trusting yourself to speak. “Yeah.” you murmured, your eyes fixed on the floor.

Toji hesitated for a moment, as if he wanted to say more, but the director called for action, and just like that, you were thrust into the scene. The lines between fiction and reality blurred once again, and all you could do was hold on and hope you made it through without falling apart.

As the cameras rolled and the scene began, you pushed everything else aside, locking the pain away in a corner of your heart. The studio lights continued to shine, harsh and unrelenting, but you stood your ground. You didn’t need your tears. You didn’t need your loneliness. All you needed was to make it through this moment. And somehow, you would.

The first scene couldn’t have been more ironic if the universe had written it itself. A husband and wife, embroiled in a bitter argument, their marriage on the brink of collapse. Every word in the script seemed like a cruel reflection of your own reality. The dialogue cut too close, each line a dagger, the emotions too raw to ignore.

You had told yourself you could handle it, that you could compartmentalize the character’s turmoil from your own. But as the words spilled from your lips, it felt as if the character had seized control of your body, dragging all your buried feelings to the surface, laying them bare for everyone to see.

“Why don’t you ever listen to me?” you shouted, your voice cracking with the weight of suppressed emotion. The accusation wasn’t just a line; it was a scream from your heart. “You’re always so wrapped up in your own world! What about us? What about me?”

The tears that pricked your eyes weren’t from the script. They were your own, threatening to fall, the pain of the breakup echoing in every syllable. Across from you, Toji’s eyes darkened, his expression hardening as he stepped into his character. His voice, sharp and filled with a familiar bitterness, mirrored your own anguish.

“Don’t act like I’m the only one who made mistakes!” he shot back, his tone rising, the frustration palpable. “You think it’s easy, carrying the weight of everything? Maybe if you tried to understand instead of blame—”

“Understand?” you interrupted, your voice trembling with the effort to hold back tears. The sting in your eyes blurred your vision, but you pressed on. “I’ve tried! I’ve given everything, and it’s never enough for you!”

The room felt electric, the tension between you both so thick it was as if the air itself might shatter under the weight of it. Each word hung in the air, resonating with a truth neither of you could ignore.

The director’s voice called out, “Cut! Let’s take a moment.”

The tension didn’t dissipate with the end of the scene. It lingered, heavy and suffocating, as if the raw emotions couldn’t be contained by the simple call for a break. You stood there, your chest heaving with the effort of keeping your tears at bay, your hands clenched into fists at your sides.

Toji remained across from you, his jaw tight, his eyes still locked onto yours. For a moment, neither of you moved, as if frozen in the aftermath of the words that had been exchanged—not just between the characters, but between the two of you.

You stood frozen, your chest heaving as the emotions coursed through you. Toji turned to face you, his expression unreadable. You saw him take a step toward you, and panic clawed at your chest, but you forced yourself to stay put. Running away wouldn’t solve anything. You had to face this, face him.

“Hey.” Toji said softly, his voice gentler than it had been during the scene. “Are you okay?”

You swallowed hard, nodding even though your body betrayed you with a slight tremble. “Yeah. Just… caught me off guard, that’s all.”

He looked at you for a moment, his eyes searching yours, as if trying to gauge how much of the scene was acting and how much was real. “It felt real.” he admitted, his tone cautious. “Too real.”

“Yeah.” You murmured, not looking at him. You didn’t want to. You didn’t know if you were prepared to just yet. 

The tension between you and Toji was palpable, thick like fog, clouding every inch of the set. You stood there, heart pounding, as the reality of the situation settled deeper into your bones. This was not just a fleeting moment; this was going to be every day, side by side, pretending like everything was fine when it was far from it.

Toji shifted on his feet, his usual confidence seemingly faltering as he took in your guarded expression. “I didn’t think you’d come today.” he admitted, his voice lower, more vulnerable than you remembered. “Thought you’d call in sick.”

“I didn’t have much of a choice. I have a job to do.” you replied, trying to keep your voice steady. “Besides….you showed up too.”

Silence befell the two of you after those words. You started fidgeting with your fingers, something you would do when you were nervous. As you feel your throat closed up, you purse your lips into a flat line. You thought it was time to walk away, to take your time away from him before the next take.

Finally, Toji broke the silence, stepping closer, his voice lower but no less intense. “It was just acting.” he said, his tone softer, almost vulnerable. “I’m sorry for my tone.”

You swallowed hard, your throat constricting. “So was I.” You whispered, your voice barely audible. 

The tears you had been holding back now threatened to spill over, but you refused to let them fall. Not here. Not in front of him. Toji’s gaze grew softer as he looked at you, the anger from the take earlier melting into something more akin to sorrow. Something you think you were more familiar with.

“I didn’t want things to end that way.” He admitted, his voice thick with emotion. “I never wanted to hurt you.”

“Can we not talk about it—”

“But I want to.” He tells you in his retort, abruptly cutting you off. “I need to. I want to fix everything.”

“You can’t fix everything. You should know that.” you replied, your words trembling as they left your lips. “I don’t know if I can ever forget that.”

He nodded slowly, his expression one of deep regret. “I know.”

Silence grew once more between the two of you. 

You could feel the tears pricking your eyes harshly.

And you could tell that he was noticing as much as you.

He nodded slowly, his gaze dropping to the floor before meeting yours again. “I’m glad you’re here….at least.” he said quietly, sincerity lacing his words. “I know it’s hard, but maybe… maybe we can find a way to make this work.”

You almost laughed, the irony of it all hitting you. “Make this work?” you repeated, your voice tinged with disbelief. “You mean like how we were supposed to make us work?”

Toji winced, the pain in your words cutting through him. “I didn’t mean it like that, you know that.” he said softly. “Look, I….I know I hurt you. I know things didn’t go the way we wanted. But this project… it’s important to both of us. Can we at least try to be civil? For the sake of the work?”

You bit your lip, torn between the urge to lash out and the need to maintain some semblance of professionalism. “Civil.” you echoed, testing the word on your tongue. “I guess we can try.”

He offered a small, hesitant smile. “Thank you.”

A tense silence settled again before he spoke once more. “Look, I don’t want to make things harder than they already are. If you need space, I’ll give it to you. Just... don’t shut me out completely.”

Your heart ached at his words, but you forced yourself to stay composed. “Space would be good.” you agreed, your voice firmer now. “Let’s just focus on the work. That’s all we need to do.”

Toji nodded, accepting your terms. “Okay. Work it is.”

The director called for everyone to reset for the next take, but the two of you remained locked in place, the world around you fading into the background. It was a moment of unspoken understanding, a shared pain that neither of you could fully articulate. As the crew moved around you, preparing for the next shot, Toji took a step back, his eyes lingering on you for a moment longer. 

“Let’s get through this.” he said quietly, his voice carrying a weight that spoke of more than just the scene ahead. “We owe it to ourselves.”

You nodded, unable to speak, and turned away. Your assistant handed you the script once again and you found yourself trying to focus on the script in your hands. The show had to go on, but the lines between fiction and reality had never felt so blurred.

With that, he turned and walked away, leaving you standing there, a mix of relief and sorrow washing over you. This was your new reality. It probably always will, when people like your chemistry together. 

You are going to be stuck working side by side with the man who broke your heart. But as you watched him go, you realized something: you weren’t the same person you were before. You had been broken, yes, but you were also stronger now.

You knew that. And maybe, just maybe, that strength would see you through this. You took a deep breath, squaring your shoulders. The day had only just begun. But you were praying that he doesn’t look at you with that look in his eyes again. 

══════════════════

DAYS ON SET BECAME A NEW STANDARD OF LIVING. You haven’t been sure you were used to it yet after a long time away, but you were sure about to get there. At least that’s what you’ve been telling yourself.

As the days turned into weeks, the rhythm of the shoot became oddly familiar. Early morning calls, practice for heavy scenes, dress rehearsal, the chaos of set preparation, and the god awful long night to morning shoots. 

This was the relentless cycle of takes transformed into your new daily standard routine. You and Toji fell into an unspoken pattern between the two of you, though. But you had to be, if you wanted to keep your jobs. It was a strange thing to witness, if one was being honest. It took a lot of effort to memorize the dance. And every bit of that was equal parts effortless and exhausting. 

On the surface, you were professionals—co-workers delivering lines, executing roles, keeping up appearances. Especially him, he was your senpai too. He was good at maintaining that mask on him more than you were. 

But beneath the polished veneer, tension simmered, weaving itself into every glance, every exchange, every shared silence. You could tell just by looking at his eyes. No one else but you could do that, after all.

The studio became your shared battlefield, its walls echoing with unspoken words. You threw yourself into the work, burying raw emotions beneath layers of performance day after day.

But when the director yelled for the cut, you knew that the veil dropped most instantaneously. And that always leaves you vulnerable to the presence of the man who had once been your everything. 

Fushiguro Toji was close enough to touch yet felt a world away from you. And you were certain that he felt the same way about you too. After all, you had a wall he couldn’t reach. You wouldn’t let him reach it. There was no way for him to know what to do with you. 

But this doesn’t stop you from looking. Nor did it stop him from doing the same thing. You had noticed everything about him and what he does. It was obvious how hard it is to be exes on set. It was even harder when you were soulmates. 

There was the slight hesitation in his laugh, the way his smile sometimes faltered at the edges. He was both familiar and foreign, a stranger wearing a face you had loved. Everything about him was something you knew and everything about him was something that was a mystery. It was a really intriguing thing. And that was the worst thing of all. You were intrigued about the man you loved and hated all at once.

Conversations were sparse at first, clinical and focused on the work. You both clung to professionalism like a lifeline, avoiding anything that might hint at the depth of your shared history. The lines were clear: scenes, blocking, timing, delivery. Anything beyond that was dangerous territory.

You were determined to keep things professional, to relegate your relationship to the sterile confines of work. But no matter how hard you tried, the walls you’d built between yourselves began to splinter under the weight of the unspoken.

The first crack came during a late-night shoot. The two of you stood under the harsh glow of the heavy set lights, running through lines while the crew adjusted the framing. Toji, leaning casually against a prop table, smirked at a mistake you made while stumbling over a particularly convoluted line.

“That’s the third time now.” he said, his voice low enough that only you could hear. There was a teasing edge to it, but it was softer than you remembered.

You shot him a sharp look. “Thanks for keeping count.” you replied, your tone clipped, though your lips twitched against your will.

His smirk widened, but there was no malice in it, just a faint warmth. “You’re welcome. I thought I’d help out since you seem… preoccupied.”

You rolled your eyes, brushing him off. “Preoccupied with carrying this scene, maybe.”

The banter was fleeting, but it lingered in the air long after the cameras rolled again. Once again, you did the best you could and continued to bring your spirits up. As the night progressed, the director started to feel a little bit more satisfied with one or two shots. And that had at least allowed you the hope of going to sleep soon.

Later, during one of the scene changes, you caught him watching you as you adjusted your new  costume. He didn’t look away quickly enough, and your eyes met. For a moment, the distance between you felt less insurmountable, the years of hurt and silence shrinking into the space of a single glance. That glance was the longest moment of your life, you were sure.

“What?” you asked, a touch defensive, your voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitated, as if debating whether to respond, then shrugged. “Nothing. You just… remind me of something.”

You wanted to press him, to ask what he meant, but the vulnerability in his expression stopped you. His eyes, usually so guarded, were uncharacteristically soft, as if he was on the verge of saying something he couldn’t quite bring himself to voice.

Instead of pushing, you turned back to the mirror, pretending not to notice the way his gaze lingered, tracing the reflection of your face as though searching for something. It was recognition, understanding, forgiveness.

But then you caught yourself. The silence was becoming unbearable, the air between you thick with things neither of you dared to say. You cleared your throat, the sound breaking the tension like a sharp crack in the stillness. 

“We should start rehearsing.” you said, your voice steady, though your heart was racing. “For the scene.”

For a moment, Toji didn’t respond. He seemed to weigh your words, as though deciding whether to challenge the sudden shift or let it go. Finally, he tilted his head slightly, his brow furrowing in quiet disbelief.

“...Are you comfortable doing that with me?” he asked, his tone careful, hesitant. It wasn’t the confident Toji you remembered, the one who always seemed so sure of himself, even when everything around him was chaotic. This was different—softer, almost unsure.

You hesitated, the question throwing you off balance. There was a part of you that wanted to lash out, to let him know how much his presence still affected you, how rehearsing with him wasn’t just work. But you swallowed it down, forcing yourself to focus on the here and now.

“Yeah, why not?” you replied, shrugging as though it didn’t matter. Your tone was light, almost dismissive, but the tension in your voice betrayed you.

Toji’s lips twitched, not quite a smile but not entirely neutral either. “Why not, huh….” he echoed softly, more to himself than to you. He took a step closer, crossing into your personal space but stopping just short of overstepping. 

“Okay.” he said finally, his voice steady now, though his eyes still carried that flicker of something unresolved. “Let’s rehearse.”

You nodded, turning away from the mirror and moving toward the small table where the script sat. You busied yourself with flipping through the pages, anything to avoid looking at him directly. But you knew, you could feel it — he was looking at you and only you.

As you both settled into the familiar rhythm of line-reading, the tension between you didn’t fade entirely, but it softened, shaped by the shared focus on the work. There were moments, brief but poignant, where you caught glimpses of the man you had once known in the way he delivered a line or the way he watched you deliver yours. 

Yet you knew when you said these things, you knew it would be bad. You knew they would hit too close to home, too personal. And that was what happened. When the two of you were finally shooting the emotional scene, it was more real than your practice and perhaps, that’s what fueled your acting. 

The dialogue was heavy, charged with the kind of raw emotion that mirrored your real-life tension a little too closely. It was a confrontation scene this time around—a breaking point between two lovers teetering on the edge of collapse. As you delivered the lines you had practiced, the words felt too personal, too sharp, cutting into wounds that hadn’t fully healed. And you hated it.

“That’s all you ever do, isn’t it?” your character accused, the anger in your voice reverberating through the silent set. “You push people away the second they get too close. You think it’s easier to walk away than to face what you’ve done.”

The silence that followed was deafening. You could feel every pair of eyes in the room on you, the weight of the moment pressing down like a vice. But your focus was on Toji.

He stood across from you, his character’s guilt written across his face, but there was something else there—something unspoken that made your chest tighten. Somehow, it was his real face. Somehow, it was his truest blossom of regret.

The director called for a break, his voice cutting through the tension like a blade. The crew scattered, murmuring amongst themselves, but the energy in the room remained electric, charged with the kind of intensity that couldn’t simply be switched off.

You turned away quickly, grabbing a water bottle from the craft table. Your hands were trembling slightly, your pulse still racing. You focused on the coolness of the bottle against your skin, anything to ground yourself, to pull you out of the emotional spiral the scene had sent you into.

“You okay?” Toji’s voice came from behind you, quiet but insistent.

You stiffened, refusing to turn around. “I’m fine. Just… in the scene.”

“Right.” he said, but there was a note of skepticism in his voice. “You sure that’s all it is?”

Something in his tone made you snap. You spun around to face him, your eyes blazing. “Why? Do you think I’m talking about you?”

Toji’s jaw tightened, his posture rigid. For a moment, his mask of calm slipped, and the vulnerability beneath it was laid bare. “I don’t know.” he said, his voice low and even. “Are you?”

The question hung between you, the weight of it almost unbearable. His gaze locked onto yours, unflinching, and for a moment, the world around you seemed to blur, leaving just the two of you standing there, raw and exposed.

“What if I was?” you shot back, your voice quieter now, but no less sharp. “Would it even matter?”

His lips parted as if to respond, but no words came. The silence stretched, thick and suffocating, neither of you willing to back down, yet both too afraid to fully engage. Before either of you could break the impasse, a crew member approached, clipboard in hand. 

“We’re resetting for the next take.” they announced, oblivious to the charged atmosphere. “Five minutes.”

You tore your gaze away from Toji, nodding curtly at the crew member and quietly thanked them before turning on your heel and walking away. Your footsteps echoed in the cavernous studio, each one feeling heavier than the last.

As you retreated to the corner of the set, you could feel Toji’s eyes on you, his presence lingering like a ghost. Even as the crew busied themselves with preparations and the director barked instructions, the tension between you remained, an invisible thread pulling tauter with every passing moment.

You leaned against a prop, exhaling shakily, trying to center yourself. The scene was over, but the emotions it had stirred up were still thrumming through your veins. And as much as you tried to tell yourself otherwise, you knew this wasn’t just about the script. This was about the two of you—about all the things you’d left unsaid and all the wounds that still refused to heal.

══════════════════

YOU HADN’T READ THE NEXT PART OF THE SCRIPT YET. You had been too emotionally exhausted about what you had been doing for work that you had put off reading the script. Which was fine, you were able to memorize things easily when you see it long enough. That’s why you have this sort of career in the first place.

So the next morning, you arrived on set early with your manager. You greeted everyone as you were clutching your script tightly in your hands. Your manager quickly greeted everyone and went to you, before telling you that he’ll get you both coffee from the coffee truck. You nodded at her, telling her that you’ll just be sitting on the trailer.

It had become a habit, one you told yourself was about preparation — ‘it will work out’; but deep down you knew it was also a way to mentally brace yourself for whatever the day might bring. You have told yourself that phrase for years now, but perhaps, it  didn’t hit as hard as it has now. Much more because you were working with the man you were in a relationship with for quite a lot of years. 

Working with Fushiguro Toji was a constant balancing act, teetering on the edge of professionalism and the unresolved tension that hung between you like a storm cloud storming away with its raging thunder and its hurling battering rains. That was just what it was, when you were working with someone you still had unresolved issues with. 

You settled into your usual corner, flipping through the script for the day’s scenes. You moved to take the pen from your bag, and started highlighting things you wanted to work on and things you wanted to ask for feedback from the director. As you skimmed the pages, your eyes caught on a block of stage directions that made your stomach drop. A part you hadn’t seen just yet.

Hiruka steps closer to Suzaku, their faces just barely inches apart. The tension between them is palpable, one that pushes them together like gravity and after a beat, they kiss.

Your mouth went agape at what you had just read. This was not what you expected. You clutched your heart, feeling how it skipped a beat. For a moment, you just stared at the words, as if doing so would somehow make them disappear. But they didn’t. The scene was there, in black and white, unavoidable.

"Everything okay?" a voice broke through your thoughts. One of the assistant directors, passing by with a clipboard, glanced at you with mild concern. 

You forced a smile, nodding. “Yeah. Just going over the script.”

She nodded, already distracted by another crew member waving her down, and you exhaled slowly, your mind racing. You haven't kissed Toji since… well, since before everything had fallen apart. 

The idea of doing it now, even in character, felt like reopening a wound you’d barely managed to scab over. Even though it had been six, seven months since the breakup, the thought still wasn’t something you had gotten used to. The memories of what had been lingered like a ghost, haunting the edges of your mind whenever you let your guard down.

But then again, no one knew you were dating. To everyone else, you were just friends. Friends and co-workers. That was the story they had always known, the one you had carefully curated and protected. It wasn’t their fault—they didn’t see the quiet moments shared off-set, the way his hand used to linger on yours, the stolen kisses behind closed doors, the whispered promises of something that had felt so certain at the time.

You… you weren’t ready to tell anyone. The idea of opening up that part of your life to the world had felt too vulnerable, too risky. So you had kept it quiet, only sharing the truth with a handful of people you trusted—close friends who had sworn to keep your secret. Back then, it had felt like the right choice, like something sacred and yours to guard.

Now, though, it felt like a double-edged sword. No one on set knew about the history between you and Toji, which meant no one understood how charged this scene truly was. They didn’t know how much it would take to get through it without letting the weight of the past seep into every glance, every word, every touch. To them, it was just another part of the job.

But to you? To you, it was a reckoning.

You rubbed your temples, trying to shake the thought away, but it clung to you stubbornly. You were here to work, to act, to tell a story. You had gotten through every other scene with Toji, no matter how tense or emotionally taxing it had been. You could get through this one too.

Couldn’t you?

Your internal spiral was interrupted when Fushiguro Toji walked onto the set, his usual calm demeanor in place. He spotted you almost immediately and gave a slight nod in greeting, but his expression shifted when he noticed the look on your face.

“Something wrong?” he asked as he approached, his voice low enough that only you could hear.

You hesitated, holding up the script instead of answering. “Have you read today’s scenes?”

He frowned slightly, taking the script from your hand and flipping through it. You watched his blue–green eyes scan the page one after another, his expression shifting from neutral to surprised and then to something you couldn’t quite place.

“Oh.” he said simply, his voice unreadable.

“Yeah.” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest. “Oh.”

Toji closed the script, handing it back to you. “Well….” he began, his tone measured. “It’s part of the job, right?”

His casual response made your irritation flare. “Don’t act like this is nothing.” you shot back, keeping your voice low but firm. “You know it’s not. Not with us.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m not saying it’s nothing. I’m saying we’ve done this before. We’re professionals for a reason. We’ll handle it.”

The word professionals felt like a jab, as if he was reminding you that whatever was between you didn’t matter anymore. You opened your mouth to argue but stopped yourself, biting back the words. Instead, you took a step back, putting more space between you.

“I just... wasn’t expecting it.” you admitted, your voice softer now. “I guess I should do more reading on the script before I say yes. But then again, we were together before this. I would have thought differently if we were….”

You stopped yourself from saying anything. You sighed as you took the script back from him, not looking at him. You fumble through the script once again, stopping at where you were reading earlier. For a moment, Toji didn’t respond. He simply watched you, his expression unreadable. Then he nodded. 

“Neither was I. But maybe it’s a good thing.”

You frowned. “How could this possibly be a good thing?”

“Because….” he said, his voice quiet but steady. “If we can get through this, we can get through anything else this job throws at us.”

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, you weren’t sure how to respond to him whatsoever. There was a sincerity in his tone that caught you off guard, a reminder of the man you used to know, a man you once loved—the one who could somehow say the exact thing you needed to hear, even when you didn’t want to hear it.

“Let’s just get it over with.” you muttered finally, turning away to avoid meeting his gaze. You hoped the words would end the conversation, but Toji, ever persistent, wasn’t ready to let it drop. “As soon as possible.”

“Are we going to rehearse—”

“We are not going to rehearse kissing.” you interrupted sharply, spinning back toward him with a pointed glare before he could finish the thought.

He blinked, momentarily startled by your tone, then raised his hands in a mock gesture of surrender. “Okay, okay. No rehearsing. he said, his voice calm but edged with a hint of amusement. “I wasn’t going to push it.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, still skeptical. “I mean it. We know how to kiss for work. It’s technical, not personal. We’ll hit our marks, make it look convincing, and that’s it.”

“Got it.” he replied, his tone unreadable. But the faint twitch of a smirk at the corner of his mouth betrayed him, and it made your chest tighten with a mix of irritation and something far more complicated.

“I’m serious, Toji.” you added, folding your arms across your chest. “This doesn’t have to be a thing. Let’s just focus on the scene and move on.”

He tilted his head, his gaze softening just slightly. “I know. I’m not trying to make it a thing, I promise.” he said quietly. “But it’s not like we can pretend it doesn’t feel... different.”

You froze, his words hitting you harder than you expected. Different. Of course, it felt different. How could it not? You had kissed him before, really kissed him. Many countless times in another life, when things had been simpler, when you weren’t standing on opposite sides of an invisible wall you’d both helped build.

But you couldn’t let yourself dwell on that now. Shaking your head, you turned back toward the set. “It doesn’t matter.” you said, more to yourself than to him. “It’s just a scene, Toji. That’s all it is.”

You didn’t wait for his response as you walked away, but you felt the weight of his gaze on your back, heavy and lingering. And as much as you tried to push it down, you couldn’t shake the sense that, for Toji, it might not be just a scene after all. You looked for your manager. 

You needed to get that coffee from her as soon as possible. 

And perhaps, a donut. You need enough sugar to get through the day.

And so you let hours pass by, trying to get the idea of the kiss off your mind. You were not going to think about it until you had to. That’s what you tell yourself. But you couldn’t stop thinking about it.

How will it happen? How will you end up lasting with how he would touch you? How could you keep this professional? You shook your head. You hated how much you were getting too into this.

When you finally make it off to set once again, you find yourself overwhelmed already. After going through the worst of thoughts while on the makeup chair, you couldn’t help but feel even worse here.

The set was quiet as the crew adjusted the lights and cameras for the upcoming scene. You stood off to the side, arms crossed, your script clutched tightly in one hand. The weight of what was about to happen pressed on you like a physical force, making it hard to breathe.

Toji was across the room, leaning casually against a prop table as the makeup artist gave him a last touch-up. He looked calm. Too calm, like this was just another day, another scene. Like there was nothing to freak out about. It irritated you. How could he be so composed when every nerve in your body felt like it was on edge?

Soon enough, the director called for everyone to take their places. You moved to your mark, heart pounding. Fushiguro Toji approached, his steps measured, his expression unreadable. The tension between you thickened as the cameras rolled into position, and the director gave the signal to begin.

The scene started smoothly enough. The dialogue flowed naturally, your voices blending together in a rhythm you had mastered over weeks of working together. But as the emotional intensity of the scene built, you felt the lines between acting and reality begin to blur.

“That’s all you ever do, isn’t it?” you said, your voice trembling with both your character’s anger and something far more personal. “You push people away the second they get too close. You think it’s easier to walk away than to face what you’ve done.”

Toji stepped closer, his character’s frustration mirroring something unspoken in his own eyes. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” he shot back, his voice low, dangerous. “You don’t know what it’s like to carry this kind of weight.”

“I don’t know?” you snapped, the words tumbling out before you could stop them. “Don’t you dare tell me I don’t know, because I was there. I was always there.”

The director hadn’t called the cut, so you kept going, even though your hands were trembling and your breath was coming faster than it should have been. Toji’s jaw clenched, and for a moment, you thought he might break character. But then he stepped even closer, closing the gap between you.

And then it happened as naturally as breathing —the kiss.

It started the way it was supposed to, his hands lightly brushing against your arms as he leaned in, his lips meeting yours with the perfect mix of tension and tenderness. But as the seconds ticked by, something shifted. The scene was supposed to end with a brief, restrained kiss. I twas just enough to convey the characters’ unresolved feelings. But Toji didn’t pull back, and neither did you.

Instead, the kiss deepened even more, the intensity between you igniting like a spark meeting gasoline. Fire blossoming in the spark of that gasoline, over and over as you both push and pull.

His hand moved to cup the side of your face, his thumb brushing your cheek in a way that felt far too familiar, far too real. Your hands, which were meant to stay at your sides, found their way to his chest, clutching the fabric of his shirt as if you were anchoring yourself to him.

The room around you faded from your reality. The set, the cameras, the crew—it all disappeared as the kiss pulled you under, dredging up emotions you thought you’d buried. Pain, longing, regret. All of it crashed over you in an overwhelming wave, pushing and pulling you towards him.

“Cut!” the director finally called, his voice sharp enough to break through the haze.

You and Toji  finally let loose and separated abruptly, both of you breathing hard. The room was silent except for the faint hum of the equipment and the muffled sounds of crew members shuffling around. No one said anything, but the charged atmosphere was impossible to ignore.

The director, who had been watching the monitors intently, clapped his hands together. “That was… intense.” he said, nodding approvingly. “Let’s reset and do one more take.”

You couldn’t meet anyone’s gaze, least of all Toji’s, as you stepped back to your mark. Your lips still tingled, and your heart felt like it was trying to beat its way out of your chest. As the crew moved around you, resetting for the next take, 

Toji leaned in close, his voice low so only you could hear. “You okay?”

You nodded stiffly, refusing to look at him. “I’m fine.”

But you weren’t. And as you prepared to shoot the scene again, you couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever had just happened wasn’t just acting—it was something far more dangerous. Many things were pushing through your mind over and over again. Things you shouldn’t think about. People you shouldn’t think about. 

You touch your lips, before stopping and closing your eyes to take a breath. Toji was still looking at you, as though trying to make sure you were alright. But you couldn’t be coherent, you couldn’t think straight. Not when his lips tasted like forbidden fruit, from paradise, from heaven.

The moment the director called for another take, you felt your chest constrict. You couldn’t do it again—not right away, not with how raw everything felt. Your hands were trembling, your head spinning, and your heart still hadn’t slowed from the intensity of the scene—or the kiss.

“I need a break, director.” you muttered, barely audible, before turning and walking off set without waiting for a response. “Please….I…”

You started to move before you could register it. You ignored the crew members and assistants milling about, their curious glances following you as you navigated through the maze of equipment and props.

You didn’t stop until you found a quiet corner near the back of the lot, where the noise of the set faded into a distant hum. Leaning against a wall, you exhaled shakily, pressing your hands against your temples as you tried to steady yourself.

You didn’t hear him approach, but you felt his presence before he spoke.

“Hey.” Toji’s voice was soft but steady, cutting through the silence.

You stiffened, not turning around. “I just need a minute.”

“I know that.” he replied, his tone careful, as though he were trying not to spook you. “I just… wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

You scoffed, your laugh bitter and hollow. “Why do you care if I’m okay?”

His footsteps grew closer until he was standing just a few feet away. “Because I do.” he said simply. “I always have. You know that.”

You spun around to face him, your frustration bubbling over. “You don’t get to do that, Toji. You don’t get to pretend like everything’s fine, like you care, after everything—”

“I’m not pretending!” he interrupted, his voice rising just enough to cut you off. His jaw was tight, his expression pained. “You think this is easy for me? You think I wanted any of this to happen?”

“You walked away, Toji.” you shot back, your voice shaking. “You made your choice. And now you’re acting like—like—”

“Like what?” he challenged, stepping closer. “Like I regret it? Because I do. I regret everything, alright? But I can’t change the past. I can’t undo what I did. All I can do is try to…” He trailed off, his fists clenching at his sides.

“Try to do what?” you demanded, your own anger simmering beneath the surface. “Make yourself feel better? Redeem yourself? Because that’s not how it works, Toji. You don’t just get to show up and act like we can fix this with one stupid kiss!”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do.” he said, his voice softening, though the intensity in his eyes didn’t waver. “I just… I miss you.”

The words hit you like a punch to the gut, and for a moment, you couldn’t breathe. You wanted to look away from him, but you can’t. How could you, when he was looking at you like that? Like he still sees you to be the only one for him. Like he still loves you most in this world.

“Toji…” you started, but your voice cracked, and you couldn’t finish the sentence.

His gaze flicked to your lips, then back to your eyes, his expression torn. “Tell me to stop.” he murmured, taking another step forward. “If you don’t want this, just say the word, and I’ll walk away.”

You wanted to say it. No, you wanted to scream at him. You wanted to push him away and shove him and be angry with him, to tell him that you were done, that the past was the past and there was no going back. That you do not love him anymore. But the words wouldn’t come.

Instead, when he closed the distance between you, cupping your face with his hands, you didn’t pull away. His lips found yours, and the kiss was nothing like the one on set. It was desperate and unguarded, filled with all the things neither of you had been able to say.

Your hands clung to the fabric of his shirt, almost as if you needed the physical contact to ground yourself. The kiss deepened as your body pressed against his, the tension between you both crackling in the space that had once been filled with affection and now was choked with pain and unresolved emotion. His lips were insistent, hungry in a way that told you just how long he had been holding this back. The rawness of it, the desperation, sent a shiver down your spine.

His hands moved to the back of your neck, his fingers curling into your hair as if he were afraid you’d slip away again. When you finally broke apart, gasping for air, both of you stood there, forehead to forehead, your breaths heavy and unsteady. The world around you was a distant blur, and all that mattered was the way his chest rose and fell against yours.

The silence was suffocating, yet neither of you moved to speak. You couldn’t find the words, couldn’t find the strength to pull away from him again. He, too, seemed frozen in the moment, as if this brief touch of something real had left him equally shaken. But then, before you could fully collect yourself, he pulled you even closer. His body heat, his scent, enveloping you in the tight space between you.

Your eyes met once more. This time, there was no confusion, no uncertainty. The vulnerability in his gaze mirrored your own, and for just a heartbeat, you both let the walls crumble just enough to see each other for what you were—people who had been broken, but still searching for something to hold on to.

And then, his lips were on yours again, more forceful this time, as though he couldn’t hold back any longer, as though the weight of everything between you was too much to bear in silence. You didn’t pull away. You couldn’t. 

The emotions inside you were tangled, each one vying for dominance. Hurt, longing, anger, and something deeper. A desperate need to feel something other than the emptiness that had been haunting you both for months.

His hands slid lower, tracing the line of your back, and you gasped against his mouth as your body pressed into his more firmly. It felt dangerous, reckless, but in that moment, you didn’t care. There was something that felt like freedom in this chaotic, emotional storm that you both had been trying so hard to avoid.

But it wasn’t just about the kiss. It was about everything that led to this point. The unfinished conversations, the words you both kept swallowing, the feelings you couldn’t express. His lips softened against yours for just a moment before he pulled back slightly, his face inches from yours, his breath warm against your skin.

“I don’t know how to fix this.” he murmured, his voice rough, laden with frustration. "But I need you to know... I never stopped caring."

Your heart pounded in your chest, each beat ringing in your ears. You swallowed hard, blinking away the tears threatening to fall. "Then why did you leave?" you whispered, barely able to keep your voice steady.

His eyes darkened, his face tightening with regret. “Because I was scared,” he said, the words slow, deliberate. “I thought I could push it all down, but it just… it just made everything worse.”

You could feel his hands trembling against your back, his words raw with honesty. And for a moment, you let the weight of that honesty sink in.

“I don’t know what this is,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you fought the lump in your throat. “But I can’t pretend it doesn’t hurt.”

Toji’s thumb brushed over your cheek, and you could feel the conflict in him—he wanted to comfort you, to make things right, but you both knew there were no easy fixes, no simple words that could undo the damage done.

“I know,” he said softly, his voice full of sorrow. “I know, but I’ll be here. I’ll be here until you decide if you want to give me a chance to make it right.”

Your eyes fluttered closed as you rested your forehead against his, the exhaustion of the emotional rollercoaster threatening to overtake you. You weren’t sure what this meant, what the future held, but in that moment, you allowed yourself to feel it. 

The rawness, the tension, the connection. The kiss wasn’t just a kiss—it was a fragile promise, a silent acknowledgment that, despite everything, there was still something worth fighting for between you.

But you both knew that this wasn’t the end. It was only the beginning of something uncertain, something that would require more than a kiss to fix. But for now, you didn’t need answers. You just needed this. This seesaw game. 

The more you were on this seesaw, the more you got to him. The more he’s here with you, locked in this cage of your own toxic desires. His touch, his presence, and the understanding that, for the first time in a long while, maybe you weren’t as alone as you thought.

“This doesn’t change anything.” you whispered, though your voice lacked conviction.

“I know.” he said softly. “But it doesn’t mean I’ll stop trying.”

You closed your eyes, trying to block out the rush of emotions flooding through you, but it was no use. Whatever had just happened, whatever this was. It wasn’t over. And you weren’t sure if that terrified you or gave you hope. Because it means you were no better. Your resolve crumbled so easily. How could you, when it was him? 

“We have to go back to the set.” You whispered to him. 

“Let them wait.” He whispers back to you, his breath hot against you.

That’s how you ended up back in his trailer, under him just like you had been six months ago. You had all but abandoned everything outside the door. From your mic packs left on that corner wall a few meters away, to the costume clothes left on the fridges of the trailer door. 

Your lips echoed loud moaning ripples that could embarrass you had you cared enough for it at that moment. But you didn’t. All you cared about was the pleasure of being underneath him, being choked by his figure pressed against you as you squirm over and over again with the breath you didn’t have against his firm grasp. 

All you could do was wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to where the sweat and the drool mixed onto you over and over again. With every tug to pull him closer, you found yourself being pummeled with his member deeper over and over again — taking away the dry spell that had kept your resolve for the past six months.

You could feel him burn you inside, searing you whole with the sheer size of him, taking over every inch of your crevices as though it belonged there. As though all of you were made for all of him.

You couldn’t help but release another moan, feeling your insides close against him, as your inner thighs quivered against the side of his waist repeatedly. The force of his thrusts were so strong that you were sure the bed was going to break.

His fingerprints were being engraved against your thighs with the way he pushes against your flesh, keeping you intertwined in this vicious downfall with him. Toji couldn’t help but laugh as he pressed closer against your body, the build of his cock sliding through your tummy and he could feel it. He felt proud of it. No one knew how to make you feel this electrifying feeling of being alive the way he could. No one else. And you knew that too well. 

Calluses started to form on your reddening skin, pelted with golden sweat as he pulled in and out of you with the speed of a thunderstrike. One moment he’s into the point you could feel him down your throat choking and the next, it felt like you were freed from the vestiges of being full of everything heavy, only to feel so empty that you long for him to choke you whole with his cock. 

And he does. Repeatedly. Over and over again, until you are on the verge of tears you know you shed because of the pleasure you succumb to, to your shame. To your love, to your desires. To him. No, for him.

Because you knew, no one else can love you like this. No one else can make a mess of you like this. No one else can make you feel so whole and broken all at once that it breaks you into many pieces.

You found yourself clawing at his back, successive moans with your breaking tone sounding like music to his ears. He hums in acceptance of the pain, trying to keep his composure as your nails bring blood streaming down his back. You move slowly to bite his shoulder, deep and whole and raw. You find him grunting slowly at the pain of it. You dug so deep that you knew you also drew blood there too.

You find him accepting it knowing that this is your love. This is the love that you have for him. And it will never change anymore. You wanted to love him and love him to the point he hurts. You want him to hurt. You want him to cry. You want him to bleed. Because how dare he make love to you, knowing you didn’t want to be hurt by loving him?

“I hate you.” You cry to him, his blood metallic in your tongue. You cry again, in between your incoherent moans. “I hate you more than anything in the world.”

“I love you.” He whispers to you over and over again, digging deeper into you that he has carved a home in you. “I love you. More than anything. More than life itself.”

You cry at his words. Because you knew they were true. You knew that he does love you. And yet you don’t want to be with him. You don’t want to let him back in. But he is here, with you. He is you, in you. He was everything that encompasses you. He was your first love. He was your first everything. And you can’t take it back. You can’t unlove him, even for your own good. Not even if the heavens wanted you to.

Toji couldn’t help but snarl as he pushes deeper and deeper, his sound animalistic and raw. He was close. You know this too well, once he stops talking. He devotes himself to the task. He pushes through over and over, the beckoning of his thrusts growing more erratic as he nears his peak.

But you knew him too well. He never comes inside of you without making sure you get your fill first. His long fingers reach down to where you're joined, finding your clit and rubbing in tight circles that send jolts of electricity shooting up your spine.

“T–toji!” You cry out loud, arching deeper into his touch as the pleasure coiling on your belly echoing over and over. You could feel his fingers work you perfectly, expertly as he pushes through over and over as he pushes his masterful fingers and his thrusting hips. “I….I’m….I’m close!”

"That's it, baby. Come for me too." he coaxes, his voice a low rasp in your ear. "Let me feel this pretty pussy squeeze the cum out of me."

He only gets this way when he finds himself close, his words disappearing into the reality of pleasure with you. You push against him, throwing your head back against the pillows. You shatter with a keening moan, your walls clamping down around Toji’s shaft as ecstasy crashes over you in waves.

He follows moments later with a guttural groan, pumping you full of his hot seed. You were shaking as you cling to him tightly, mewling softly against his shoulder blades. You could feel his body heavier against you as you both rode out the aftershocks, still gasping and twitching with the intensity of your shared climax.

As the fog of passion clears, you slowly come back to yourself, awareness returning in increments. You purse your lips as he presses kisses against your neck and then your jaw and then your cheeks. The warmth of his seed seeping off you as your hands loosen their hold on his body.

“We can’t do this again.” You whisper to him exhaustedly.

“I know.” He whispers back to you, his eyes shot with the look of love. Or was it lust? You could not tell. “I know.”

But you knew you were both lying to yourselves. 

He was going to come back again and again.

And you would let him in, just as you had now.

══════════════════

YOU HAD SAID YOU DIDN’T WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN ANY PRESS TOURS. It had taken a while before you had even budged to the demands of the director. But you knew that you couldn’t admit that to be a resolve without the act. All Toji had to do was ask you, in his own way and you knew you would say yes. And you hated that it was the case. 

As the lights of the red carpet flickered around you, you smiled, the cameras flashing as you and Fushiguro Toji posed side by side. His presence, tall and imposing, was the perfect foil to your poised elegance, but inside, you felt something altogether different. It was truly a quiet storm of conflicting emotions that you could barely contain.

The interviewer, enthusiastic and bright-eyed, approached you both with a microphone. “You two are the talk of the town! After months of speculation, you’ve finally confirmed your relationship with that press announcement. How does it feel to have it all out in the open?”

You met the interviewer’s gaze, your smile steady, though you could feel the weight of the question pressing against your chest. You exchanged a brief glance with Toji, his expression unreadable. He gave a small nod, as if reassuring you to continue, but you knew the truth—there was nothing to reassure, nothing to calm.

“We’re happy to finally share our truth, really.” you said, your voice smooth, practiced, like you were reading from a script. "It's been an incredible journey, and we're excited for what's next, both in our professional and personal lives."

The interviewer’s smile widened, practically giddy with excitement. “It’s clear that you two are truly in love! Your chemistry on and off-screen is undeniable. Toji, how does it feel to have such an amazing partner by your side?”

Toji’s lips quivered into a half-smile, a hint of something unreadable in his eyes. “It feels like a new chapter, honestly. I’ve always admired her strength, her talent. She’s someone who challenges me, changes me, in ways I didn’t expect. I think that’s what makes it work.”

The words were kind, but you heard the undertone. You knew what it was. It was the unspoken acknowledgment of the past. The past you’d both tried to bury under layers of public appearances, press releases, and carefully crafted smiles. The past you had come to hate  with all your hatred.

What had started as something deeply painful had morphed into something else entirely, something you didn’t quite understand but couldn’t escape. This was a gilded cage that you had allowed him to trap you in.

One that you couldn’t escape. That’s why you were here, standing next to him, because you couldn’t tear yourself away. You couldn’t fly away. Even when you hated him. Even when you knew better.

You felt the interviewer’s eyes shift back to you, awaiting a response, her curiosity piqued. "And for you, how does it feel to have him by your side now, after everything you've been through?"

Your chest tightened. The words to explain your truth were there, just beneath the surface, but they never quite made it to your lips. You gave another practiced smile, masking the turmoil that churned inside you. 

"It’s complicated, yeah." you said carefully, choosing your words with precision. "We’ve both had our struggles, but that’s part of growth. That’s a lot of work, to make it all go smoothly. We’ve learned a lot from each other. And we’re both better for it."

The words hung in the air, a soft veil of politeness that couldn’t hide the undercurrent of something darker. The toxic bond, the cycle of love and hate, of pain and yearning. You hated that you were still here. You hated that you could never quite leave him, no matter how much you should. And yet, there was no escaping the pull. Not now. Not after everything.

The interviewer beamed, satisfied with your answer, but all you could do was nod politely, your gaze flickering to Toji again. The smile he gave you was the same one you had seen countless times before, the one that made your heart ache, the one that made you question everything about who you were, about who you were becoming.

You knew you should’ve been stronger. You knew you should’ve walked away a long time ago. But here you were, caught in the web you had spun and truly hated it. You hated him, but you still stayed. You knew, deep down, that this was your reality now. 

Your love for him would never be pure. It would never be something that anyone deserves to have. It was not worth living a life of destitution and desperation. And yet, it was what you had. It would never be easy, it would never be anything other than toxic.. It would always be tangled up in mistakes, in forgiveness, in betrayal, in passion.

And so you stayed.

Because even if he would hurt you, even if you would hurt him, this was the life you had chosen. You had crossed that line long ago, and now, there was no going back. There was no way to escape the chaotic love you shared. It would make you happy. It would make you miserable. It would always be the same, because it had always been this way, and maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

For better or for worse.

For the horrid to the frigid.

You both were toxic till the end.

The moment you stepped inside the theater, the noise of the red carpet event faded into a dull hum, replaced by the quiet buzz of the room. The lights overhead gleamed off the polished surfaces, casting long shadows over the seats where the audience had yet to arrive. 

Fushiguro Toji walked beside you, his presence commanding and strong, but the usual ease between you felt heavier now, charged with a tension neither of you had addressed since the interview. Since you were now a couple in the public hemisphere. And he was too aware of it all. 

As you made your way toward the dressing room, you felt the weight of his blue–green gaze on you, sharp and searching, as if he was trying to decipher something in your posture, in the way you carried yourself. You ignored it, pretending to focus on the steps ahead, the noise of your heels clicking against the floor, the rhythm of your breath.

When you reached the door, you paused for a moment, the cold handle beneath your fingers reminding you of the distance that had always existed between you and Toji, even when you were close, even when you thought you understood each other. Even when you were now stuck in this disturbed romance.

The room was empty except for the faint scent of makeup and old costumes, a reminder of the countless times you’d shared similar spaces before everything had unraveled. Toji followed you inside, closing the door behind him with a soft click. His footsteps were quieter now, the usual swagger in his walk subdued, but his presence still loomed larger than life.

You didn’t turn to face him immediately, choosing instead to adjust your dress in front of the mirror. The reflection staring back at you seemed almost foreign—perfectly poised, with a smile that didn’t reach your eyes. Not fully. And you didn’t know when that would ever happen again.

“You okay?” Toji’s voice was low, cautious, as though he wasn’t sure whether to press you or give you space.

You met his gaze in the mirror, seeing the uncertainty there. It made something inside you tighten, but you refused to show it. “I’m fine, don’t worry.” you said, though the words felt empty as they left your mouth. “It’s just... another night, another show.”

Toji stepped closer, his reflection merging with yours in the glass. “You don’t have to pretend, you know.” he said softly, his tone edging with a familiar vulnerability that made your chest tighten. “You don’t have to say everything’s fine when it’s not, babe.”

For a moment, you thought you might turn to him, reach out for him, let the rawness of it all spill over. But then you remembered the cameras, the words you’d both spoken on the carpet. The image you were meant to present. The lies you’d wrapped yourselves in, hoping no one would see the truth beneath.

“I’m not pretending.” you replied, a little too quickly. You broke your gaze with the mirror and turned to face him now, your eyes narrowing as if daring him to say something more. “What’s the point? Everyone’s watching, Toji. Everyone’s waiting to see if we’re going to fall apart, if we’re going to crack under the weight of it all. So why give them the satisfaction?”

Toji didn’t flinch at your sharp words. Instead, he took a step closer, his eyes softening, his voice quieter. “Maybe I’m tired of pretending too. Maybe I don’t want to pretend anymore.”

You shook your head, stepping back from him, though your heart thundered in your chest. “It’s too late for that. It’s too late for us, for anything real. We’ve already made our choices, Toji. This….whatever this is—this is just for show. This is what we have now. This is what we’re stuck with. And you know what the root cause was.”

For a brief moment, silence hung in the air, thick and oppressive, before Toji took a step forward, his hand reaching out to gently grasp your wrist, stopping you from retreating further. His touch was steady, but there was a deep sadness in his eyes, something that you could feel without needing to see it.

“I don’t want to lose you.” he said, his voice tight with emotion. “I never wanted to hurt you. I know I did, but I swear, I’m trying to fix it. I’m trying to fix us.”

You looked at his hand on your wrist, the heat of it seeping into your skin, and for a moment, you wondered if you could believe him. But then reality crashed back in, the weight of everything you’d been through. His betrayal, your own resentment, the lies you told yourselves about what you were.

“I don’t know if I can trust you again, Toji.” you whispered, your voice shaky, vulnerable in a way you hadn’t allowed yourself to be before. “I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

He watches as you halted, taking a moment to gather yourself. Before you looked at him again. “But god, we are just miserable with and without each other. Nothing changes. And yet here we are.”

His grip tightened ever so slightly, as if pleading for you to see something, anything, in him that might make a difference. “I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that I can earn that trust back. If you’ll let me.”

The words hung in the air, suspended between you, as the unspoken tension between you both remained unresolved. There was a part of you that wanted to believe him, that wanted to give in, to fall into the comfort of what you once had. But there was another part of you, the part that had learned from the mistakes, the hurt, that knew better.

“I don’t know.” you said quietly, pulling your wrist free from his grasp. “But I’m not the person I was before, and neither are you. So maybe we just need to accept that.”

Toji’s eyes dropped for a moment, the weight of your words clearly sinking in. He didn’t argue. He didn’t try to change your mind. Instead, he nodded, as if acknowledging the truth you both shared, no matter how painful it was.

“I don’t want to lose you.” he repeated, his voice barely above a whisper.

But this time, there was no more fight left in you to give. 

The words hung between you both, unresolved. 

And for the first time, you wondered if you ever could let him go.

You wondered if you both would ever be free from each other.

Yet you knew that was wishful thinking, you knew that was a dream.

“You don’t have to worry.” You whispered back to him. “I’m not going anywhere….But you already knew that. Didn’t you?”

[witherby]

SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG EL forgeting about my last idea since its kind of generic (this one is also but whateverrrrrhahahsg)

so you know Starfire is an alien right?(tamaranean) how about something where reader is a sort of alien too? (x damian too bc im starting to hyper fixate on him) and like they meet as Damian does patrolling/a mission, kind of how Dick and Star met!!

ill leave if up to there and if you like it!! ANYWAY HI EL!!

—🦈

HI SHARKY.

I was gonna finish writing the vampire!Jason prompt but I saw this and immediately fell into a fugue state instead. When I came out, it was with this. I hope you like it 🩷

Flight of Fancy

Damian Wayne x Winged!Reader

Featuring: language barriers (gibberish), a shoulder wound, and a kiss.

It had started out as a routine track-and-report mission. Damian was supposed to investigate the suspicious cargo shipments in Gotham Harbor, try to figure out what was being delivered, and come back to the Cave with his findings.

Tim's bet was human trafficking. Dick's was illegal arms dealing. Jason's was drugs. Damian guessed poaching. Bruce wanted them to stop making bets about what horrible thing of the week was going on and please focus on getting the task done.

(Bruce was just upset that he wasn't allowed to bet anymore because he kept winning.)

As the night drags on and the boredom starts to creep in, Damian wonders if the ship sitting on the loading dock is actually conducting legal business for once. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened, and it would mean less follow-up work to do.

"Red Robin," Damian mutters into his comm, "there's been no activity for three hours. I'm about to declare this endeavor a wasted one and return to base."

"Copy," Tim says in his ear. "There's no spooky stuff happening on the computer, either. Give it ten more minutes and then come back."

"Understood." Damian shifts on his perch — an unsurveilled roof of a tailoring shop — and casts his gaze along the area for the thousandth time that night.

Cold, choppy waters, devoid of any suspicious activity. Dock workers walking around and doing their jobs as they chatter and whistle amongst each other, devoid of any suspicious activity. The cargo ship that docked an hour ago, devoid of any suspicious —

Well. It wasn't suspicious until he realized that the distant ringing he's heard all night wasn't interference from the dinky, little radio one of the workers has been using to blast old, jazzy tunes, but a shrill crying noise coming from the ship. A normal person wouldn't even be able to detect it, but years of training with the League taught Damian to filter and identify any and all noises he picks up automatically.

"Red Robin. I've identified a potential trafficking situation. Stand by."

"Copy. Standing by," Tim says. "Ready to dispatch EMTs on your word and receive that fifty bucks when you get back."

"Yeah, yeah," he grunts, grappling down the building and taking cover in the shadows, maneuvering his way around the harbor men and onto the ship without a sound.

The closer he gets, the louder the crying becomes. He can tell it's just one person making the sound, and that they seem to be locked in one of the titanium crates on the back of the ship. It's child's play to locate the right one and pop the lock open with the small hand laser from his tool bag.

The second it's gone the lid flies open, and Damian gets knocked down by someone he can only describe as ethereal.

You are a collection of stand-out features. Glowing, bright eyes. A wild mane of hair. Well-tailored, form fitting robes. And a huge, breathtaking pair of white wings, that unfurl from your back and shake out into their full width with barely a whisper of sound.

You're bleeding, Damian realizes belatedly. You're bleeding gold. It drips from a wound in your shoulder, running down the sleeve of your robe and soaking the fabric. Small beads trail down your fingertips and stain his chest where you're using your weight to pin him to the ground.

"Whoa," he mutters, because that's the only thing in his mind. Just. Whoa.

You furrow your brow and glare at him, muttering something in a dialect he doesn't understand. The confusion on his face must be evident, because you quickly become frustrated.

"Ira neshmi le-hyr!" You demand, waving the wrist of your other hand in his face, which has a LexCorp-branded tracking bracelet on it. There are faint scratch marks around the skin where you obviously tried to pry the device off.

"Robin? What's the situation? Am I dispatching EMT?" Tim's voice sounds in his ear, startling Damian into taking full stock of the situation again. He blinks a few times, picking up on bootsteps approaching his location, your increasing franticness from where you're knelt above him, and the riskiness of what he's about to do.

"No EMTs," Damian says, reaching for the handheld laser again. He holds it up for you to see, then gestures to your wrist.

You hesitate for only a moment, then offer him your arm and watch him slice the bracelet off and pocket it. With a quick sleight of band, he presses a tracker of his own into the sleeve of your robes, then urges you to get off him.

"Bad people are coming," he says, gesturing to the shadows of figures he can see getting closer. "You should come with me. I can get you somewhere safe."

You stare at him like you don't understand what he's saying. He lets out a frustrated sigh. There's no time for this.

"Me. You. Come with me. That way." He gestures to you, then himself, then points in the direction of the Bat Cave with urgency.

Your eyes dart to where he points, then you nod. He's about to try to figure out how to pantomime you tucking your wings in so you can sneak around better, but you stride forward, wrap your arms around his waist, and use them to take off into the air. Damian clings to you and yelps, drawing the attention of the men on the ship. There's a cacophony of shouting down below that quickly grows faint the farther away you fly.

"The package is escaping!! Someone call the boss!"

"Do we shoot it down?"

"No, you idiot! We need it alive! We'll track it down —"

The rest of their words are lost to the wind. Damian holds onto you with white knuckles and refuses to look down. It's too dark and too smoggy in Gotham to look up at the stars, so the only other thing to observe is you.

If he thought you were stunning on the ground, you're something else in the air. The wind pushes your hair around and out of your face, revealing small markings around your cheeks and eyes. The light your wings catch makes them almost glitter with every beat as you propel the two of you onward. Briefly, you travel over a more illuminated section of the city, which make your eyes look like little constellations.

He's utterly captivated.

"Nirr'm? Luola stesh?" You try to ask him, directing your gaze to him. Damian has no idea how to answer a question he can't understand, so he just points to the ground.

You scan around for a secluded spot to land and gently coast to the ground, setting him down. Damian locks his knees to keep them from buckling and takes several slow, deep breaths.

"I can't understand you," he says after a moment. You furrow your brows again. "And based on your expression, it's vice-versa."

"Robin, come in!" Tim says in his ear, and, oh, he'd forgotten that he stopped responding for ten minutes. "I'm tracking your location and it says you're four miles away from the harbor? What's your status? Do I need to send Batman in for backup?"

"Negative, do not send backup. Don't send EMTs, either."

"You said there was a trafficking situation?"

"Yeah," Damian says, "metahuman trafficking. Don't send anyone until I can figure out how to communicate that they wouldn't be a threat."

"Communicate? What, they don't speak any of the thousand languages you know?"

Damian doesn't respond.

"Oh, shit. Okay. Standing by."

While he'd been talking to Tim, you had inched your way closer and closer to Damian. When he focuses on you again, he almost flinches back after finding you less than a foot away. You perk up when you notice him give you attention and lift your hands up, curling them around his shoulders.

"Um," he mutters, "what are you doing?"

"De-ad'nin," you say, leaning closer. Your eyes don't leave his. "Hmnik?"

"I don't...I can't understand you," he says again. You're waiting for him to do something, he can tell that much. He just doesn't know what you want.

You lean in even more, practically sharing breath. Damian can feel his cheeks warming, but curiosity overwhelms the impropriety, so he doesn't move away. You seem to take this as some sort of permission.

Closing the gap, you press your mouth to his, and Damian freezes.

Soft, he thinks. Your lips are soft. His hands twitch at his sides as he fights the urge to grab your waist, but you have no such reservations as you press yourself practically flush against him and prod at the seam of his mouth with your tongue. A frankly embarrassing whine leaves him, but Damian relents and starts kissing you back with the same level of enthusiasm you show him. Even though his gloves, he can tell that your hair is ridiculously soft as he runs his fingers through it. He's briefly lost in a flurry of sensations, overwhelmed by you, and just when blood starts redirecting itself to other places, you pull away again and clear your throat.

"You helped me," you murmur, slowly and steadily, like you're testing out the words as you say them. "You set me free. Thank you."

"...you're...welcome?" Damian pants, his mind still a little gooey. "Wait, that's English. You're — did you kiss me to learn English?"

"I did," you smile. "I needed to convey my gratitude in your common tongue. I hope I didn't offend you."

Offend was definitely not the word to use. He gently pulls his hands from your hair, but you make no move to separate, so he settles them on your waist instead.

"You're wounded," he says, tipping his head in the direction of your shoulder. The bleeding has slowed, but not stopped. "Let me take you somewhere to get that wrapped."

"Take me where?" You ask. "Not back to the laboratory?"

"No." He doesn't know what lab you're talking about, but he knows he would never willingly put you back in Luthor's hands. "A cave. It has a medical ward where you can have that cut stitched closed."

You seem to give it some thought, idly playing with the hair at the nape of Damian's neck. It takes so much more effort than he anticipates not to melt into it. Your bare skin against his almost burns. You're exceptionally warm, near-feverish.

"Yes," you eventually agree. "You are..." You tilt your head as you search for the right words to use. "Trustworthy. I will go with you there."

Damian relaxes. He presses a finger to his comm.

"Red Robin, send the Batmobile to my location for extraction. I'm bringing the metahuman to the Batcave."

[saturnzlv]

life makes echoes

— parings: todoroki touya x reader

— notes: mature language & like one sentence that’s suggestive. and i can’t write for shit IM SORRYYYYY. i haven’t written in eons, but bassist touya & making a switch city playlist has me hard.

— synopsis: when your boyfriend is a bassist, and you go to one of their practice sessions

♫ echoes by the rapture

“it’s nothing too bad,” touya tells you as he takes his bass guitar case out the backseat.

you’re too busy staring at the small family home in front of you to answer him—the attached garage is open with a drum setup visible as well as a few nicknacks. there’s two people inside, and you think you think you recognize one of them and vaguely remember the other.

touya shuts the car of his beat up ‘98 lexus es with his case in hand, then he gestures for you to walk up the driveway. “just think of it as your own private concert,” he says.

at that, you turn your head to look at him with an incredulous expression. “this is a pretty shitty first concert then,” you say.

he lets out an unamused and sarcastic laugh, rolling his eyes. “you’ll like it,” he affirms. lifting a hand, he points to a blond boy with eyeliner framing his amber irises then a light blue haired boy fiddling with his drumsticks and testing the sound of the symbols. “you’ve met keigo and tomura, yeah?”

keigo, the blond and the one you recognize, sits on the couch against the wall. he has a guitar propped up on his knee as his fingers pluck the strings and his left hand deftly fixes the pegs. as touya plugs his bass into a spare amp in tomura’s garage, keigo lifts his head to glance at touya.

“back in my first year of college, sure,” keigo says as he stands from the couch. “we were in the same modern japanese class.”

tomura eyes keigo with a slight furrow in his brows. “why do you remember that?” he asks, to which keigo shrugs.

cautiously taking a once over at the couch, you look over at tomura on the drums. you’ve heard his name and a few facts in passing from touya. “you must’ve been a second year, right?” you ask as you deem the couch clean enough to sit on. tomura nods in response, and he’s about to speak in reply when touya clicks the button to shut the garage door.

“what are you in the mood for?” touya asks, walking past the drums to stand in front of one of the two mic stands available, positioned a little in front and apart from the drums. he looks over his shoulder at tomura, his question directed to the youngest.

tomura taps the drumsticks against the symbols, getting a feel for some rhythm. you can sort of recognize the tune, and it gets more familiar when the bassline is added by touya. leaning back on the couch's surprisingly comfortable cushions, you await for your so-called “concert”.

however keigo doesn’t step up to the microphone. he instead lifts his hands in surrender. “wait, wait,” he calls, a hand settling on the mic stand as he turns to face his band members. the drummer and bassist cease their playing, and you’re pretty sure tomura’s already annoyed from keigo’s sudden pause. “we’ve already done dance, dance like seven times this week.”

“i thought you got off on singing and making out with the mic?” touya points with a slight glare. “this song is perfect for that shit.”

keigo waves touya off before he adjusts his hold on the guitar strapped around his neck. with a pick in hand, he strums a muted note in a fashioned rhythm. the drums pick up, and keigo steps up to the mic. his gaze shifts to touya as he sings the first drawn out ‘yeah’ of the song, giving him a glare with furrowed brows. he sings a second ‘yeah,’ and before he can continue singing, tomura quits the drums.

“are you just going to stand there?” tomura asks, and you have to stifle a laugh at his obviously annoyed tone.

“i wanna show off,” touya replies very pointedly. “you think i can show off to fuckin’ take me away? no. i can’t. play some better shit.”

with pursed lips and a steady glare, keigo presses his fingers to the fretboard once again and strums a few simple notes going low. tomura gently taps his sticks against the symbols as keigo plays the familiar beginning notes of echoes, and touya complies by adding the bassline.

“i hate this song,” keigo mutters, yet the mic picks up his words.

there’s a small, cocky grin on touya’s lips as his fingers dance down the fretboard of his bass, plucking the notes with ease. “too bad,” he tells his bandmate.

with your leg crossed over the other, you prop an elbow on the armrest and let your cheekbone rest against your fist. it’s the boys' first time showing off to a friend—that much is insanely obvious—and, despite having formed this shitty band just a few months ago, they play well together. tomura, only twenty, plays the percussion as if it were made for him. keigo’s voice sounds borderline angelic. touya’s damn well-versed with his fingers, you know that much.

your foot taps against the concrete flooring of the garage in tune with the drums. there’s no denying that the sound from the trio is pretty good, too. it’s probably good enough to put in your spotify playlist—not only as support for your boyfriend’s band, but because their sound is catchy.

once the song comes to an end, keigo steps away from the mic stand. there’s a small nod of approval from tomura after keigo shoots him a thumbs up.

touya sets his bass down on its stand in favor of walking up to you on the couch to gather your opinion. “so?” he asks, and he leans his hip against the couch’s armrest. his vibrant blue eyes peer down at you as you lift your head up to meet his gaze.

a hum of thought elicits from you, and you give him a small shrug. “not bad,” you say. touya gives you a disgruntled look, and you let out a soft laugh before lifting your head from your fist. “it was good,” you correct yourself.

that cocky grin returns to his lips, and he says, “not bad for a first concert, huh?”

if touya wasn’t the best at reading people, he would have missed that grimace that crossed your features. “let’s not go that far, babe,” you reply.

[jasontoddspussy]

hanahaki au. but the disease/curse is built so that if its strong enough it'll like, give symptoms to whoever is the cause of the thing in the first place.

jason has hanahaki. his hanahaki is caused by his self hate, and jealousy. he's deep deep down envious of dick. he wants to be loved so, so badly. he wants to have a family. and yet he was betrayed. the bats dont like or trust him. he hates himself so so much.

and the hanahaki seizes him then. making him cough up blue flowers (im unsure which yet, this is just like base idea)

its so strong that *dick* coughs up flowers - marigolds. and he's like. wtf. he contacts and talks to raven abt it who tells him the curse isn't within him - whoever that flower represents is the one dying right now. and dick being dick finds out its jason and tries to save him. he tries to like. hang out with jason more. he tries to be there for him. and jason is aggresive and annoyed and finally ends up coughing up bloody flowers and dicks like please, jay. you know i love you. and jasons like. no, you don't. not in the way i need you to.

what jason means; you don't love who i am now, you love the dead kid i was. you don't trust me now. you wish i was still dead and that i'd never come back to life.

what dick *Thinks* jason means: i'm in love with you, but i know you see me as only a brother and that you can't reciprocate.

and dick thinks to himself "oh god. jasons in love with me." and decides then and there, that he's gonna beat the curse into the ground with the affection that jason needs, because the curse will "wilt" away if it's tricked into thinking the love is returned. he's gonna have to act like an interested lover, he thinks, or else jason will die.

he starts out slowly. initiating more body contact. he has to be slow or else jason will realise whats going on and then he might die quicker. it takes him weeks but jasons drunk and they're together drinking and dick kisses him, pretending to be drunk (he's tipsy but nowhere near as drunk as jason is) and jasons like ? dickie? what're you...doing? we- you shouldn't do this, we shouldn't- we're siblings- and dicks like shh sh it's okay jaybird, i got you it's okay

they kiss but it turns into making out and dick *loathes* that he can just do that while jason is all blushing and kinda innocent/confused, that he can do this to his *Brother* - and jasons like you cant be serious, you want to- to have sex? with *me*? and dicks like well, if you want to. we can also not. and jasons like why would you want to do that with me. we're siblings. and dicks like "you're a crimelord, jason" and jasons like yeah but also have you seen me? im more scar tissue than flesh. i have a pussy, im big and hairy and-

and dick hasn't looked at jasons body naked like that. he hasn't studied him. he couldn't bring himself to. and jasons still like. going on about how he doesn't understand how anyone, much less golden boy dick grayson, could look at him and see something attractive. and dick feels so, so guilty abt doing this but he can't stop, he has to keep going to save jason's life.

in the smut scene it's like... dick is trying to tell jason he's gorgeous and what not bcs it doesnt sound like jason has a lot of confidence, which is a surprise to him, and instead of letting himself think too much about it, he.. hotdogs? him is that the term, and jasons just flushed and pliant and needy and dicks like... i got condoms and lube... if you want to? and jason says ok. but uh. i dont know what im doing.. im..ive never done this. before. so, uh. yeah. and dick screams inside himself at the fact he's taking his little brother's virginity but outside just nods and assures jason its okay, they're safe here this is okay-

i havent decided yet if this is purposeful or not but the condom is broken. and jason ends up getting knocked up. and dick is so confused bcs the curse should be done but it's *not*-

and he realises...

he may... not have any idea about who jason is. because red hood, the man he thought he knew, is a dramatic, extremely talented fighter & assassin who is cunning and a masterplanner, self assured and a hardass.

but the drunk jason was just a mess of self-hate and maybe- maybe the curse isn't because he's in love with dick, but because he's in love with what dick *has*, because jason hates himself and dick-

dick just fucked his little brother and he may or may not have fucked their entire relationship up.

[andysbong]

“ call her number , but she wont answer “

Dae-Ho x GN!Reader (established relationship)

Angst — TW - OD 

authors note : this is my first actual post on tumblr so im hoping it does good

Dae-Ho had just got out of the games, those dreaded games. He was so happy go finally get out, alive too. Finally getting to go home after those days almost weeks; making him feel paranoid and scared. Finally getting back home and getting his phone he checked his notifications;  200+ missed calls and messages combined. All from you. Nobody else, you. All wanting to know where he went; the voicemails begging him to come home, the misspelled texts evident of your anxiousness and lack of sleep. Running off of those damn pills you always took when you got anxious, making you stay up all night. You were always up for hours on hours. when you took them. Oh he hated it, always begging you to come back to bed. 

Dae-Ho searches your shared apartment for you, “Y/N? Baby?..” he asked around, looking in every nook and cranny. The closet, the bedroom, the kitchen, the bathroom, anywhere and everywhere. Dae-Ho finally called you, going immediately to voicemail. “Fuck..” he muttered under his breath; you always picked up the phone, under any circumstance. Even if you were dying you would've picked up the phone.

You didn’t live directly with Dae-Ho, just most of the time. You had your own apartment about 2 hours away, which probably meant you were there..right?.. right?.. Letting out a sigh he looked around, getting some clothes and walking to the bathroom, stripping down. Turning the shower on, mostly hot but somewhat cold; the perfect temperature, what he thought was at least. 

Getting into the shower he closed the sliding glass door softly behind himself, standing there for a moment. Letting the water go down every curve of his body. Usually you were there, in the shower with him, washing each other off. Oh it felt so, so, so wrong not to have you there. Sure he had lovers before you, but they weren’t like you. You were his soulmate in his words.  He had always loved you, being childhood friends and all. 

Running soapy hands through his hair he lathered his dark hair with the shampoo, your shampoo. You two always shared everything. Clothes, food, calonge, perfume, whatever. It was everything you shared that built your bond as strong as it was. Rinsing the shampoo out of his hair and washing all the grime off of his body he turned the shower off. stepping out and grabbing a towel, drying his body off and drying his hair. Pulling his clothes on and walking out of the bathroom, catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror in the bedroom, stopping and staring. You had always took photos in that mirror, putting a polaroid of the two of you in the corner. 

Dae-Ho stepped closer to the mirror, taking the polaroid in between his thumb and pointer finger, a soft, nostalgic smile on his face. He missed you, too damn bad. putting the polaroid in the pocket of his jeans he walked over to the living room, grabbing his phone and calling you again, “Answer..” he murmured, his voice strained with worry before going to voicemail — again. Sensing something was wrong he grabbed his jacket and put his phone in his pocket, grabbing his keys and going out, locking the apartment door behind himself. 

While getting in his car Dae-Ho got a notification, his eyes widened, hoping it was you. No. it was a scammer, not you. Sighing, tears coming to his eyes he turned the keys, starting the car and driving off. Driving those two hours to your apartment, stopping at a gas station to get you two a Monster. You always loved Monsters, Dae-Ho didn’t know what it was but you loved energy drinks. Paying and getting back in his car he desperately checked his phone again, nothing. Deciding he should call you again he did, sighing with sadness when it went to voicemail. 

“Hey babe.. im coming to your apartment.. seeing you weren’t at ours.. i hope everythings okay.. love you. see you soon.”

Driving off again he finally got to your house not long after. Getting out of the car he got the two Monsters, going up to your apartment and unlocking the door with the spare key. Walking inside, taking his shoes off by the door, quickly padding into the kitchen and setting the Monsters on the countertop. Looking around for you before finally walking over to your bedroom door, seeing it was closed he raised a brow. Knocking he the next words left his lips nervously, “Babe?.. you in there?..”

Opening the door he started talking, looking at the ground while he did so, “Sweetheart.. listen im sorry for leaving.. i just.. we needed the money and this guy-“ He cut himself off, seeing a dim light from the bathroom, “Y/N?” He asked, walking over, looking in before his jaw dropped. A body. Your body. Laying there lifeless with the medicine cabinet open, various pill bottles empty on the counter. You killed yourself. Worse. You overdosed. 

Tears prickling his eyes he scrambled, getting onto the floor and trying to shake you awake. Screaming your name, “Y/N! Y/N! BABY PLEASE!”  Tears streaming from his eyes he held your lifeless body close. His worst fear come to life. You, the long of his life, his partner, his fiance, was dead; and he felt like the cause.

[2demondogs]

I read your newest post and could you create a different version where they forgive each other and get together 😭 the ending was so painful to read

HAHA IM SORRYYYYYY NONNIE I always deliver on the angst what can I say /lh

Here is a self-indulgent version but he's still pathetic reader just matches his freak. Also the original for anyone uninitiated, took it up from where it turned sour.

Javier hears your voice for the first time in over a decade ordering at a saloon and he cannot move. Do you like Mexico? Where have you been? You're here, if he's not mistaken by that fake name (though you're a fool to reuse them) and the face (though you've aged) and the way you walk (though it's more confident). You're here, and Javier is suddenly very upset with himself because, even though he knows in his heart that none of it ever was about Dutch, he can't find the word traitor in his mouth.

It's been so long, you can't find it either. There's still hurt in you and maybe it has soured you just enough that you find yourself as weak to it as Javier. He looks every day of his age and then many more, and it pulls at something in you. You had hoped to grow old together. Here he is, and he has grown old without you.

Javier's still hopeless first and a romantic second. Being near you lets loose a decade of swallowed desperation that makes the right thing to do — turning on his heel, leaving — once again very difficult. He was given a second chance at life when Dutch found him those years ago, and here he is given a second chance at love. He'd be a fool not to take it.

So once again, he does not do the sensible thing. Instead, he buys you a shot and when you say his real name, he doesn't lie. You put your hand on your gun belt apprehensively, assuming he would want you dead, but that fear dwindles when he plucks your wrist away without so much as looking down. Javier still knows you like the back of his hand.

He hasn't changed, but this second chance might do it. He's different now, but there's too much familiarity in its ugliness. Javier used to be Javier, not just the things that he was made of. You have to admit that it softens you to see him broken and lost. You hadn't realized how lost you were yourself.

Still, you're both older, more hardened now. Javier curses himself for leaving when you part at the end of the night, so he doesn't let go when you run into each other the next week a town over. It proves to him that things are meant to be. It begins with keeping tabs on you — he's got the connections, now, plays the risky game of telling people he's concerned about your intentions — and ends with him trying and failing to convince you to work for the government alongside him.

You accuse of him of betraying his morals, and he agrees. Javier's working hard to keep some cognitive dissonance up, but at the end of the day, he goes where he has the best chance of survival. Eventually, his own desires will go numb enough to be at peace with it. You flare them up again. Javier wants like he hasn't wanted in years, and— well, he had never truly felt at home anywhere but with you. He still feels homesick. Maybe he can forget himself, for a while, if he goes where the wind takes you.

[yanphighting]

Omgomgomg yandere phighting blog!!!

Is it possible for me to request Yandere Dom or Valk headcanons? Or both? If not then Yandere Medkit headcanons if you don't mind?

Sorry if im coming off strong I'm just really excited to see a yandere phighting blog!!

(Is it possible for me to be 🥞 Anon? ^^)

╰┈❥ YANDERE VALK AND DOM

AN: I LOVED DOING THIS REQ,,, Hope you enjoy this! Had a lotta fun writing this!

♡ Valk always takes photos of you whenever you two hang out, cute photos of you two hugging, sharing a coffee together, you wearing the brand-new outfit he had bought you for your spawnday. He never lets you see the photos though for some reason always being so secretive about them, saying he's just keeping them on his phone. Later on, he'll post them to every platform he can get his claws on, captioning the photos about how he was so glad to be with his spouse.

♡ Valk as a draconic like demon definitely has the traits of one. He's can't help that he has the need to grab everything and anything you own and have it all to himself. Your clothes are definitely things he'll take most often, sweaters, shirts and scarves that still smell exactly like you. He keeps everything he had hoarded from you in a drawer in his room, cuddling with the items whenever he thinks it misses you.

♡ Even if Firebrand is gone currently I'd think Valk would still have a lot of status as he is the grandson of the deity. He would find demons from all around the Crossroads to find your favorite thing, limited edition doesn't matter to him he'll find everything you would ever wish for, that'll definitely get you to like him! If you ask questions about how he found whatever you wanted he'd just chuckle saying that he has his ways.

♡ Valk would message you an alarming amount of times. It doesn't matter if you're busy, you will come back to see five or more missed messages with even more coming in about how he misses you, how he wishes you could hang out like right now or just him spamming you with stupid messages. Even if you'd block his number or change yours, he'd find a way to text you again.

♡ Valk absolutely swears to himself that he has to end up with you! You're the perfect demon for him, you two just NEED to be together. He'll vaguely talk about you as ' this cute demon he's been fawning over' everyone in the general vicinity WILL hear about you. Valk thinks and dreams about you every second he can. It's gotten to the point where he's most likely messed up announcements or some sort of choreography due to daydreaming about you.

♡ Dom, similar to his brother, definitely has the draconic hoarding habit however he's more discreet about it. Instead of taking clothing items he's more likely to take smaller trinkets and items from you, hair ties, small plushies that once littered your bed and even a bottle of your favorite perfume! He keeps smaller items with him so it's like he's carrying around a small piece of you whoever he's going.

♡ Instead of gushing about you online like a certain someone he keeps his thoughts to himself. Dom writes about you as he thinks about you, he'll write about how happy the two of you'll be once you start dating or even marry! He'll also just aimlessly jot down the things he noticed about you throughout the week,how you smiled at his joke, how you seemed much more at ease with him! It just makes his wing flutter with excitement as he swoons over you like a teenage girl.

♡ On a similar note he'd write songs about you! Songs about how much he loves you and how every bit of you is so CUTE! He'd wouldn't show you the songs if you saw him writing them out going with the excuse that it was 'unreleased' material that you weren't allowed to see. Maybe one day he'd show you them.

♡ Dom would have a stalking habit, he doesn't entirely mean for it to happen, he just wants to make sure you're safe! You may not see him but he's seeing you whenever you end up going. You start feeling a bit uneasy after a trip to a mall in Crossroads, swearing that you'd seen Dom watching you from the corner of your eye yet when you turn to look ... he's gone. You're not even safe when you're home. Maybe it's just late-night paranoia getting to you, but you swear there's someone at your window watching you sleep.

[rauspberries]

i can't be your lover on a leash, every other week, when you please.

evan buckley x reader.

summary: sleeping around with buck is fun - until it's not.

tags: afab reader, no use of y/n, cut that always bleeds by conan gray, slightly angsty, right person wrong time[s] if you squint, buck struggles with commitment but its all reader wants, buck 1.0 AND buck 2.0, all too well ten min version reference, alludes to size kink i fear

word count: ~1.8k

notes: inspo from sawyer n el once again. evan buckley i'm going to gnaw on you. i also keep changing tenses in this but we're gonna act like y'all understand why okay. i'm not the proudest of this but im staying strong

There is absolutely no telling when your insatiable need to be next to Buck went from lust to love.

For a while, you thought it had all started in the dimly lit lights of a bar, some Journey song blaring over the jukebox and cigarette smoke hanging in the air as you clung onto Buck's arms to keep your drunk self standing. In your alcohol-infused state, you had admired how small your hand looked curled around his bicep, had realized that his muscular stature made you look so small overall.

It was the first time you had glanced at the man next to you as anything other than your best friend's brother. He was tall, devilishly handsome, alongside the fact that he was sweet and adoring. Despite his known fault of being a manwhore, he was still a gentleman, constantly standing behind you when you wore a skirt and grabbing your hand to help you out of his Jeep. It was maddening, the fact that he was so attractive both inside and out.

Unsure if it was solely the alcohol in your system changing your perspective or allowing yourself to let your guard down, you had dragged him to the back hallway, reaching up high to cup his cheek and bringing his lips down on yours.

Buck had been anything but gentle once he got over the original shock of you kissing him, one large hand curling around the back of your head to tangle his fingers in your hair while the other grasped at your hip to pull you closer. He had yanked your head back to tilt your chin further up towards him, teeth nipping at your bottom lip until you gasped, taking advantage of the moment to slip his tongue in your mouth.

He kissed you so hard, so desperately that it made your head spin. Your knees were weak as he broke the kiss to drag you into the men's bathroom, locking the door before lifting you up onto the bathroom sink like you weighed nothing.

And that was just the first time.

From then on, any time you drove down from your smaller city to visit Maddie, you would take the time and find any excuse to spend some alone time with Buck. It was fun, and it was casual. Nobody knew that your hips and thighs were bruised in the shape of his fingertips, that you knew exactly where to place your lips to draw a throaty groan from his mouth.

You didn't mind it for the longest time. Sneaking out of one of the closets at the firehouse and making excuses to leave Maddie's apartment to see him was exhilarating, well worth the effort. Nobody seemed as in tune with you as Buck did, no matter how much you tried to date in-between your rendezvouses with him.

Until it became a problem.

Every date you went on, every man and woman that attempted to court you, none of them measured up to the firefighter you only saw on occasion. They weren't as naturally kind, they weren't as gentle. Every small thing they did reminded you of how that wasn’t what Buck did. Buck usually tucked your blankets around you tightly when he got up to leave - they just let it settle around your hips. He placed a kiss on your forehead before he ducked out of your bedroom - they gave you an awkward wave.

You had brought up the idea of dating once, although the slight butterflies in your stomach had made you phrase it as a joke.

"One of these days, you're going to have to be seen in public with me." You had teased as you laid your head atop his arm, fingernails dragging along his skin soothingly as you basked in the feeling of his chest against your back, his breath against the nape of your neck.

Buck's response had been a soft laugh, the rumble of his chest apparent against your back. "Don't think so. I think we're perfect right where we are." Then, he had turned you over with a hand on your waist, propping himself up on an elbow to kiss you lazily, the feeling only slightly dulling the pang in your chest.

The push and pull between you two went on for longer than you cared to admit. Every time he pulled himself away from you willingly, discarding you like a one-time use food wrapper, a part of you became angrier and angrier until it fizzled over.

The tipping point was at one of the house gatherings that Bobby and Athena often held, you only being invited because you were friends with Maddie. It already sucked being a plus one to a plus one, making you increasingly irritated the more that Buck refused to be seen in your presence.

The nail in the coffin was dinner. You had sat next to him without glancing at him, hoping for any indication that he recognized you there, that he needed that casual touch from you the same way you yearned for it from him. While everyone was laughing at one joke or another, you even mustered up the courage to reach for his hand beneath the table, only to be rejected with the shake of it as he placed it back in the view of everyone else.

After everyone was left to mull about and chat, once Maddie announced that she would be taking her leave to head back home, Buck’s hand curled around your bicep, the touch featherlight and yet holding you still. His breath brushed against your ear as he leaned down, voice low and tempting. “You coming back with me?”

But rather than melting, like you had done many times before, you looked up at him, eyes cold and steely. “No.”

Buck had physically recoiled in surprise at the irritated look on your face. “What?” He had asked instinctively before shaking his head, hand on your arm unwillingly guiding you to flank the wall as he stared down at you with those alluring blue eyes. “What’s wrong? What’d I do?”

“What’d you do?” You dryly laughed back, eyes rolling as you scoff. Defensively, you crossed your arms over your chest, taking one step backwards to keep the distance. “I cannot tell if you’re an idiot or just extremely mean.”

Genuine concern crossed his face as he looked down at you, the birthmark above his eye blending into his eyebrow as it furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

In a voice that didn’t sound like your own, you responded. “You dropped my hand.” You remember feeling embarrassed, shame burning in your throat at the same time that tears built up in your eyelids.

“What?” Buck repeated, face twisting into an incredulous look. “That’s what this is about? I was talking.” His tone had grown defensive, hands waving as he spoke, as if doing the action right then proved his point.

“No.” You shot back, anger pushing away any other emotions you might’ve felt. “This isn’t about that, Buck. It’s about you expecting me to be at your beck and call. It’s about wanting everything from me and giving me absolutely nothing back.”

He had scoffed in response to your words, rolling his eyes as if you were being ridiculous. “Why are you suddenly getting so upset about this?” He accused, voice sharp around the edges in a way you never expected from him. “This is what casual is. If you didn’t want to be casual, you should’ve told me so I could’ve stopped this a long time ago.”

Your lips had parted in shock at how easy he had turned the situation around on you, the pain in your chest amplified by the look he was giving you. All the hope you had had leading up to this moment, all the ideas that his touches and gentle kisses were more than just out of want, crumbled as you turned on your heel, leaving him behind as you went to find Maddie.

`✦ ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹✩°｡⋆⸜ 🎧✮

All of that had led up to this moment, standing at your front door and staring out at Evan Buckley, wondering just what the hell he was doing. It had been years since you had left him behind at Bobby and Athena’s, since you had spoken to him. You had kept tabs through Maddie’s word of mouth and doomscrolling his Instagram, of course, but you also learned that you held grudges tighter than he had ever held your hand.

“What are you doing here?” You ask dubiously, reaching out to grab his arm and pull him into your apartment, shutting the door so that your voices didn’t wake up your neighbors. “Evan, it’s two o’clock in the morning and you live three hours away.”

He looks tired. It’s the first thing you notice as he looks down at you, eyes soft around the corners and his lips pulled into a frown. Dark circles bring out the sadness swimming in his blue eyes as he takes you in, gaze trailing over your sweatpants, sweater and mussy hair. 

Your name falls off of his lips just as he makes eye contact with you again, the sound quiet and yet seeming to echo around your small apartment. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles, hands reaching out before they fall back to his side, fingers clenching into a fist for just a moment.”

“For what?” You can’t keep the confused look off of your face as you reach up to touch his forehead, as if testing for a cold. “Are you drunk?”

He shakes his head, grabbing your hand just as it pulls away from his face. “No. I…” His voice trails off, tone rough, before he speaks again. “I’m sorry. For everything, back then. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night at Bobby’s and, God, I was so stupid back then.”

Carefully, he pulls you closer with the hand he was holding in his, free hand finding your hip. The touch practically burns through the thick material of your sweatpants as you look up at him, shock and awe rendering you speechless.

You open your lips to respond, words cut off by the feeling of his lips on your own. Unlike every other time you’ve kissed him, this one is soft, gentle, like he’s worried to anger you. Rather than his hand dipping to your ass, it moves up to your neck, cradling the side of it as his body presses into yours.

He kisses you like he needs you. Not wants. Needs. 

You realize that it’s the only thing you’ve ever wanted.

[ihanlvrz]

stoner eunseok

warnings: dom boyfriend eunseok, unprotected sex, smut, smoking weed

562 words, not edited, first post! (please be nice)

the smoke from Eunseok's blunt made the room hazy. you looked into his reddened eyes and he smirked at you, leaning over and pressing his lips roughly against yours. you parted your lips for him. smoke travelled into your mouth and mixed with the flavor is his tongue. he pulled away, smiling with heavy eyes.

he stuck the blunt between your lips, having you hold it in your mouth as he started to undress. you knew where things were going, it happened every time Eunseok got high. he threw down the tight, almost teasing tank he had on a moment ago and followed it by taking off his sweats and briefs. you could feel yourself getting excited and hazier by the second. you were buzzed and thinking slowly, no other thoughts crossing your mind but what was right in front of you and how badly you wanted him.

he took the blunt which your cue to undress yourself. you stood up and he sat back down. he watched silently as you took off your clothes, his eyes burned holes in your now bare body.

you were helpless when you were high and that was your boyfriend's favorite part about getting you stoned. he could use you, do whatever he wanted to you, and you wouldn't fight back, you physically couldn't. not that you would if you had the ability to anyways. he reached his hands out to you, guiding you to sit on his lap and face him. he put the blunt out beside him and blew the remaining smoke in your mouth with another wet and sloppy kiss.

he guided your hips down to his hardened member and pushed you down on it slowly. he watched almost reactionless as you enveloped him. the only way you could tell how he was feeling was by the way his muscles tensed. his fingertips dug into your sides painfully and you could feel his thighs tense under you. his breath was a bit louder too, but he kept it controlled.

he stretched you out. he slipped in fairly easily though from your slick, but it was still a tight fit. he was hitting your cervix in only seconds. he was very big and it took weeks of size training for you to be able to take him like you are now. every time was increasingly mind numbing though. he fucked you good and he knew it. he knew what you liked and what he was doing.

your mind was blank and you couldn't think of anything. you could only focus on the full feeling in your core and eunseoks soft, incoherent rambling. he reached his hand down, using his middle finger to toy with your clit. he stared into your eyes, watching your every reaction until he had you convulsing around him and clenching around his already large cock. he sucked in a breath, getting close.

Eunseok pressed down a little harder on your clit. you shook over him, leaning forward and letting yourself finish while he was still in you. the fluttering of your walls around him had Eunseok letting out a quiet, breathy moan and grabbing onto you and cumming inside of you.

"up, im not done with you," Eunseok instructed. you knew he'd be at this for at least 3 more rounds. he was always insatiable when you got high together.

[ventismacchiato]

i was thinking about swy and my brain just collapsed because it kept overflowing with headcanons. anyways heres the ones i compiled or at the very least remember

yn is the type of idol with those compilation videos like 'yn tripping over air for 5 minutes straight'

windblume and delusion has watched those compilation of videos that are like "*insert member* being wifey material" just to laugh maniacally at every moment so that person gets embarassed (like in a good way)

whenever its scaras birthday most of the others just gift him vapes (i lowkey forget what he was smoking so mb)

↑ adding on to that but i feel like yn would get them a different gift like earlier swy yn defo gives him the most useless gifts on planet earth (if they even decide to)

delusion fans still have this argument on whether childe is hot or ugly (its still ongoing just way less popular with scarayn being trending)

delusion and windblume hang out three times a week (or the maximum they can) every night and scara and yn are just sitting on the edge glaring at each other back in the earlier days of them being an idol

d&w (shortcut for delusion and windblume cause im NOT typing allot) have game nights. the games range from stardew valley to the most horrifying thing you can imagine

whenever yn is gifted a stuffed toy/plushie by a fan scara throws it out because hes paranoid (but tbh its actually really common when youre an idol) that theres a camera. counts for both earlier and later swy like i genuinely believe that he just does nice things most of the time behind their back

whenever you see a fischl stan theres an 85% cahnce they have said 'she was definitely a theatre kid' at least once in their lifetime

you know those videos where idols will wake up from their nap/sleep and everyones looking kind of messy and that one has perfect hair. thats lumine.

theres an ongoing joke that venti should be in jail for underage drinking just because hes considered short by windblume fans

omg i love ur headcanons!

i think scarayn wud have a stupid tradition (they’d never admit it) when they were rivals of getting each other stupid gifts and when they get tgt they still do it (scara wud spoil yn obviously but add a stupid gag gift)

the childe argument omg my poor baby HAHA i’d defend his ass that man is BEAUTIFUL

awe the hanging out 😢 i hc their dorms are near eachother so they see eo often, like lunch in between training and having meals tgt and scarayn wud just sit in their own corners and ignore eo

awe the plushie!! he wud so do that 😭 subtly looking out for yn cus he can’t hide he cares to some level

ok lemme add some of my own!

scara dropping the cap to a bottle of wine in a live and pretending he can’t find it so he has to drink the whole bottle and everyone tweeting about how bad his acting is. and then kazuha walks in and picks it up and scara swipes it out of his hands

when scara is knocked out and tired he doesn’t give a fuck who gets in bed with him. so maybe there’s a few videos of behind the scenes where aether or childe will just crawl into his bed and scara doesn’t say anything but he’ll shift over

i feel like since idols go live maybe they’d livestream themselves playing games with fans, like yk how taehyung played with fans and they all let him win and waited for him but then when nayeon played among us they killed her immediately (i think i’m rmbring this right) so whenever scara plays all his fans r letting him win and he eats them all up but then when childe plays they all kill him instantly

chiscara reacting to fanart:

scara: who is that, cus i know that ain’t me. why do you guys keep drawing me as the bottom? i would never let this ginger top me in a million years, have you seen him? he’s pathetic. god. if anything i’d be telling him what to do from the bottom—

childe: alright not too much on me 😓

did u guys see that clip of gummy (?) singing seven days a week as if she’s singing in a church choir 😭 i hc seven is scaras solo song so imagine he’s mcing a show and the debut idol who sang his song rlly badly in a cover comes up and he can’t help but call them out for it

based on that one keeho video i think if childe ran into fans he’d take photos with them but also ask them to take his insta pics for him 😭

i feel like childe wud love to troll paparazzi, aether wud wear long wings and walk around with child and ppl wud think he’s with some girl

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

PART 2 OF MY INCOHERENT YELLING UNDER THE CUT!!!! :D

we're starting WITH THISSSS BC HUHUHUUUU 😭😭😭😭 CALEEEBBBB 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WJFKNWHFJSKJFHSKD the way he knows he might be overstepping but also we're like no sorry its just im not feeling great... AND HE KNOWSSSSS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

okokokokok and now. WE'RE GOING BACK IN WE'RE GONNA CONTINUE THE MAIN STORY.

KSDHGKJSDHGKJHVSKJFNKJ this mf he's soo... i want to SHAKE HIM. AFFECTIONATELY.

"I'm Caleb. I'll always be by your side." HUHUHU THE :( THE PARALLELS THE :(((((((((( HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY TO SOOTHER HERRRR :(((((((

"That's just how things work, pipsqueak." YYYYYYYYYELLLLLLLIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG

AND THE ?????????????? THE WAYHIS TONE CHANGES WHEN HES TALKING TO EVERYONE ELSE. IM SOBBING "COME BACK TO ME WHEN THE BAUBLE AROUND HIS NECK GROWS A BRAIN" OH MY GODDDDDDD WKJEHGKJHVKJSFHGKJDKJFGH HES SOOO

"I HAVEN'T EVEN DISCIPLINED YOU." SIR !!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"It's an order." IMMWKJEHSGKJHVSKJXFDHGKJDFXHGCKVJ oh man the VOICELINES IM STARRING

i am sO FUCKING. IN LOVE. WITH YOU.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"you're putting my evol to good use like always." HWJKHFKWHSKDJGH SOBBING CRYING ON THE FLOOR. THE WAY HE. EFFORTLESSLY OPENS THE. CAN. HES SO. OHHHH HE HAS SUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOOD CONTROL OF HIS EVOL DOESNT HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

mc being afraid of thunder................. ooooooouuuuhhhhhhh defaulting back to that ohshc scene with hikaru againnnnn............

"....you ungrateful pipsqueak." YELLING

I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC SO MUCH WHATTHEFUCK

HOLD

HOLD

OHMYGOD HOLD

"like the ones who are involved in this incident" I JUST NOTICED? what is WITH ever's obsession with twins.........................

HFWKJSHKJGHKJVSHFDKGJHVKDJFXHKGJHDKFJGN

"is that the only reason?" UUUUUUU THE WAY HIS VOICE GOES ALL SOFT AND HE GLANCES AWAY AND AND AND AND. OHHHHH THE YEARNIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

".... iiii'm just messing around. what's wrong? cat got your tongue?" CALEB PLEASEHKDGHFKGKDJFV

wtf im so obsessed with the way he says "alright, alright~!" UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ZAYNE

HOYGODMYOEHRDKGHEKDRFHGDHRGK HOMYGODHOMYGOSDHGJHDFKJGSFNXKGJHVSKJDXHGKJSDHFKXJGHVDFKJVN

WAIT WAIITAWITHAEHT CHOTTO MATTE KUDASAITHOEWSHDGNKJDCFNKJGCNBDKJFMCNGKBJDFNCK IC ANGKDRJFG

Z AY N E

SJKDFHJWEJGKJDS THEY BOTH HAVE A "wTF R U DOING HERE" MOMENGHKJ I CANNOT I CANNOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

WAIYWAIT I CANF BREATHE

"is this the confidential schedule you talked about two weeks ago? don't worry, i'll experience memory loss once i'm back in linkon." IMMMMMMM WHEEZIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG

OH GOD OH GOD. HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT. IM SOBBING SO HARD RN.

WHAT THE HELL I MISSED ZAYNE

OH MY GOD

EHSDGKJSHKJDFGHKJVHSDKFJXGHJDBFJHCBGJVHF

SORRY CALEB WAIY I NEED

IM HAVING SUCHA MOMNEF

ok back to regular programming.

ahem.

poor mia... she needs a crisis therapist </3

OUGH SHES TENN <///3

SJDFRJEWHKSHKJSE ZAYNE. ZAYNE YOURE SOOO. OUGHHH THE WAY HE TALKS TO HERRRRRRRRR THE WAY HEEEEEEE

ok sorry

mc im sorry but youre terrible with dealing with crisis patients. thats a terrible approach. oh my god. too many you statements, diving right into what happened without establishing any sort of rapport... that couldve triggered an immediate emotional response and youd get cicked out girl youre terrible at this im so sorry

A LITTLE DOGGIE PLUSHIE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 NOOOOOOOOOOO

ZAYNE YOURE SO SILLY WHQETSKFKSJDF COME HERE ILL KISS YOU

oh 😭 zayne doesn't know about caleb, right 😭😭 "the fleet feels different this time" huhu oh zayne..

"i'm afraid i'll bother you when you're busY" answered with "we both have to deal with challenges, one after another. if we want to see each other, then there will be moments like this where we can sit together. no matter how hectic things get." ZAAAYYNNNEEEEEEEEEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT THE HELL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 IM WSIDHGKJDFCHGJDHFKJGHKJSDRHG I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

IM SUPPOSED TO BE PINING FOR CALEB DAMMIT ZAYNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

NOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭THAT'S WHY THEY WANT KEVI?! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 IT'S THE... IT'S... LUKE AND KIERAN'S........ IT'S THE SAME, RIGHT?! 😭😭😭😭😭

ohhh its the fragment...

ough... my heart...

i wonder if these twins were experiments before too? :(

IM YELLING SOBBINGHJKSNXKJCBVHDKJF THE WAY ZAYNE KNOWS SHE MIGHT RAMBLE ON THE MOMENT HE ANSWERS AND HE SAYS CALM DOWN AND "WHEN HIS VOICE COMES THROUGH THE PHONE, IT'S ALMOST AS IF A WARM HAND IS SOOTHING MY TROUBLED MIND." ZAYNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

ok now what's bothering me is that. they're directly addressing the story branches... so this BASICALLY means. you really did have to play through all of them to get the full story BUT it also means that.. the relationship progression... is being vaguely addressed... and that all of them happened with all three of them... and that's kind of... mn,,... what's the point of separate branch stories... it might as well really just have been different mainstory chapters... hhh

i wonder... if zayne and dr. noah get a chance to look over luke and kieran... like,,, do luke and kieran still have the threat of transformation over them if it's been two years since the last known record of it happening (as far as we know?) i wonder if zayne and dr. noah can help them ;o;

WHFKJHSKJDHGKSKDJG THERE'S A YUAN-TI IN LOVE AND DEEPSPACE? LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

BUT HE HAS LONG HAIR... HIS DESIGN IS KINDA PRETTY... DAMNHE HAS A WHOLE PORTRAIT AND EVERYTHING, LIKE, SO HE'S GONNA BE PRETTY IMPORTANT HUH-?!

AN APPLE 😭😭😭😭IM WHEEZING CALEB PLEASE

NOT THE WAY CALEB COMES FROM GROCERY SHOPPING LIKE THIS QHWKAJSHFKJSHDKJGHVKSJ I CANNOT WITH HIM HES SO WHGSKJDGHKSJD SILLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"THE SUPERMARKET WASN'T HAVIN' A SALE ON PRODUCE TODAY, AND MY BULLETS AREN'T EXACTLY CHEAP" BROOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"eat some fruit. i'll be right back" IM WHEEZING SO HARDDDDDDDDDD

JWEHSFKJWHKJDSHGKJHDKJFG ??? "perfect vesssel my asss! it doesssn't even look as good as usss unfinished productsss." <- ultima what are u doing here. /JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

CALEB'S ONE-LINERS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA "i see it's shedding season again, Viper." THIS GUY IMMM

oh damn. THERE S A TIME LIMIT? WHAT SGOINF ON

"wouldn't you sssay your overprotectivenesss bordersss obsess-" IM DYING

"Lay a hand on her again, and I will kill you." OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FLASHBACKS TO THAT CHAPTER WITH XAVIER IN THE ALLEY GHKVSJHFDGKJSRKJH

HE TOWEL-DREIS OUR HAIR FOR US :(((( CALEEEBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

HUHU THE WAY HE. CASUALLY JUST COMBS THROUGH OUR HAIR

"There's no rush. We have more than enough time together." THIS IS A LINE FROM MC?!?!?!?! OMG GIRLLLLLLLLLL

??????????????? DESPITE???? THE DAA HAVING CLOSE CONNECTIONS W THE FLEET??????????????????? OMG CALEB... you have so many secrets 😭😭😭😭😭😭

"To reassure me, Caleb gently pats my head." OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH CALEB :((((((((((

"don't worry. they will find him." HWJFKHEKJ NOOOOOOOO 😭😭 WRONG ANSWER 😭😭 IM SOBBING

OHHHHHH THE MISCOMMUNICATION. THE SECRETS. OHMYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

OTTO 😭😭😭😭😭

CALEB NOOOOOOO 😭 SHAKING YOU SHAKING YOU SHAKING YOU SHAKING YOU

GIVE HER SOME AGENCYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY CALEB CMONNNNNNNNNNNNN

"you're lying." "what about you, then?" OH MY GOSHGJKHKJRDV THEY CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING FROM EACH OTHERRRR

"for some reason, this version of caleb feels like a stranger." SOBBING SOBBING SOBBING SOBBING

WE MADE A PINKY PROMISEEEE :(((

CALEEEEEEBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

oooouhghhhhhh i can feel the tensionnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

AUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE WAY HE. HOLDS. THE WAY HE HOLDS OUR HAND THE.

"if i kept you here with me like this... would you think i'm being too selfish?" that's so jumin han of you but you know what. at least you're asking

oh caleb:( baby :(( you're bearing too much weight on your shoulders :( share it with us :(

the world is ours to save, not yours </3

HUHU THE LIL HAND KISS :( CALEEEEBBBBBBBBBB :((( UGH COME HERE 😭😭😭😭 I WANT TO HOLD YOUUUUUUUUUU 😭😭😭😭

oh mc :( your nightmares:( i want to hug you too :(

"but somehow i got dizzy and actually slept..." HELP. HELP? I-

HELP

CHOTTO MATTE KUDASAI

WHAT IS WITH THIS TENSION

MIA?!?! 😭😭😭😭😭

WHAT IN THE 5D CHESS IS GOING ON

WHAT THE HELL????????????????

they're really selling the whole "temptation from the serpent" idea here 😭😭😭 "don't you want to know?" viper, buddy, PLEASE 😭😭😭😭

viper is truly hilarious in his own right LMFAO

dude. "the professor said if we damage the bird's neuromuscular system, it won't be able to fly. but it will believe it can." WHY ARE WE PLAYING AROUND WITH CONDITIONING, KEVI? WHAT ARE WE DOING

this is so unsettling omfg...

DUUUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WHAT IN THE HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ISSS GOING ONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD THATS WHY. THATS WHY MC TALKS ABOUT THE CHIP. OH MY GODDD THATS WHY IN THE TRAILER SHE-

CALEEEEEEEEEBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

"letting your emotions run wild and blaming yourself for every little mistake... it will only hold you back."

whoah

we're going back down repression lane, huh...

CALEB WHAT ARE YOU GOING BUDDYYYYYY 😭😭😭

THE TENSION BRO 😭😭😭😭 I CANT DO THISSSS

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE MEMORIESSSSS WHJVHKJFH THE FLASHBACKS ARE KILLING MEEEEE

HE'S SUCH A SCIENCE KID OMG. hehe i was so right... he's a STEM person.. hehe.. i love him..

"why is he acting like nothing happened? why is it always so difficult to understand what he's thinking?"

mY HEART

HER DOUBTS.. THE QUESTIONS... MAN. IM ACTUALLY KINDA PROUD SHES STARTING TO QUESTION THINGS WHJFKSDJ I WAS WORRIED SHE MIGHT BE AN UNBOTHERED QUEEN ABOUT IT AGAIN

the way theyre approaching the topic of talking it out is so SO filled with tension and i think its so appropriate for the nature of their relationship omg

HE REALLY-?!

CALEB 😭😭😭😭 PLEASE 😭😭😭😭

oh my god... these ... "abominations" or whatever the heck...

the transformation... this is so. this is so crazy to me .

i keep thinking of luke and kieran HFWKNJDNGKFJWER

oh, are they after the aether core...? huh...

"pass the test" does passing the test mean being able to resist the onslaught of the transformation like kevi did? does this mean... hypothetically speaking, people like- kieran? or whichever one of the twins transformed in that anecdote? HWKFSKJFD

"are you mad at me?"

he'S TRULYYY. SO PUPPY 😭😭😭😭😭 BABYYY CMERE LET ME HUG YOUUU 😭😭😭

"you... what have you been doing behind my back?" <- YOU GO GIRL

"anyone who dares to wield power that isn't theirs must pay the price." whoah..............

😭😭😭 AUUUUU THEYRE ARGUING.....

"I will protect you." CALEB 😭😭😭😭😭 BUDDY SIT DOWN AND LISTEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

man. the irony that falls on me for being a xavier main who can't stand miscommunication WHFKJHSKDGH AND THEN THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

caleb, baby, love, i love you, BUT LISTEEEENNNNNNNNNNN

DON'T YOUUU "MORNIN'" MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

it's totally a different case from elbie/jumin... like i can totally get why he's doing htis and i still love him with his whole heart but omg i

"you already figured out everything, right? ...Aren't i pathetic?" BABY 😭😭😭😭😭😭 DID YOU REALLY..?

IM CRYING??????? CALEB-

mc scares me lowkey LMAOHGKJEHKJ SHES SO BADASS IN THIS? LIKE DAMN YOU GO GIRL 😭😭😭😭😭

WHKFVKSDKJ CYBEZIN.. THE DRUG CALEB TALKED ABOUT IN THE START ABOUT OVERDOSE-

TORING CHIPS

I guess at least they're self aware they have the chips......

CALEB?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭

THEYRE REALLY SERIOUSLY GOING JUMIN HAN ON THIS, DAMN

ITS NOT AS INTENSE AS LIKE... ELBIE.. BUT... DAMN

THE WAY HE SWALLOWS 😭 THE WAY HE TENSES 😭😭😭 OH MY POOR BABY 😭😭😭😭

he's restraining himself so much from somethingggg 😭 ugh what are you hidinggg 😭😭😭

"if being with me only brings you pain, then just put up with this for three more days." IM SOBBINGG :((

"i'll be gone. aren't you happy that you won't have to see me then?" :( oh im so illlllllll :(((((

you can honestly just. see so much of his struggles with authority and being the caretaking figure SO MUCH i was looking forward to how they would characterize this and i'm actually kind of happy to see this conflict with him! ahhhHH i want to pick at his brain... i want to analyze him... its makiNG ME JUMPYYYYY

"so i have to listen to the colonel even when it comes to eating and drinking now?" "you can be mad, but don't let it affect your health." "i'm not mad."

"growing up, we knew each other so well. better than most, even. i could see through your lies when you'd blink. bite your lip, and i could tell you were upset."

"i wonder. how did you turn into someone i hardly recognize?" im SOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

OH THIS SCENEEEE THE ARGUMENTTTT IM S O ILL RNNNN 😭😭😭😭😭 I'M SO WHFKJSHKDGHKJDV THIS IS TICKLING MY BRAIN SO MCUH BUT MY HEART ALSO HURTS JUST AS MUCH ICANTTTTTT

THE WAY HE'S TENSING UP 😭😭😭😭

NO NO NONO NO NO NO NO NO DON'T LEAVE. COME BACK HERE. COM EBACK HERE AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM WITH ME WAIT WAIT WAIT WE CAN TALK THIS OUT COME BA C K H E R E

MC WANTS TO CRY AND I WANT TO CRY WITH HER HUHU 😭😭😭😭

"i can't figure out what's real or fake with caleb. but what i know for sure is that this person who's important to me... i don't want to lose him a second time."

ORZ

the conflict with them is so 😭 they have so many issues they need to work out because of the distance that put them at odds for the time they spent apart and it's so- considering that their relationship has been so close?! you can feel the pain from BOTH ends because they aren't handling it properly but they both 😭 they both love each other sO MUCH 😭😭😭😭

IT BETTER NOT END LIKE THIS 😭😭😭😭 IT BETTER NOT END LIKE THIS.. IM GOING TO SOB SO HARD..

...

THE PRICE CALEB PAID TO BE "BROUGHT BACK TO LIFE"??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭

STOP

stop iT

STOPP

NOOOO

HUHU 😭😭😭 WHAT DO YOU MEAN!! WHAT DO YOU 😭😭😭 HE REALLY 😭😭😭 I 😭😭😭😭

WHOAH A POEM

...

...

WHAT THE HELL. IS IT REALLY ENDING LIKE THAT?? JUST?? JUST LIKE THAT?! JUST LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

HODL ON 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

NOOOOOOOOOO NOT A SINGLE DROP OF CLOSUREEEEEEEEE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

:D SERVER'S OPEN!!!!!! this will make zero sense for anyone who goes under the cut i just needed somewhere to liveblog so youll see this post get updated sporadically and it will probably be just filled with keysmashes LMAO

[jumpy bouncy noises] ITS LOAAADDDIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGG

Lord help me and my internet for loading this slowly its like watching a snail </3 IMSTILL BOUNCING BUT AT WHAT COST. AT WHAT COSTTTTTTT

so close yet so far...

75% YOU CAN DO IT YOU CAN DO IT IM CHEERING YOU ON GO GO GO OG GO GO

WHY IS IT STUCK AT 92% WNFKJW HELP

[secret agent voice] i'm in 😎😎😎

WHY?!

HWHDHWHHDHWHEHWHWHOOAAAAAHHH?!?! ITS SO PRETTY 😭😭😭😭 NOW THAT ITS ACTUALLY ON MY SCREEN

OOUUUU IM SO EMO RN

*PATHETIC WHIMPERS* 😭😭😭

ok ok ok ok ok ok. STORY TIME

oh my poor mc.... fellow chronic nightmare haver...

FUCKING EVERRRRRRRRR WHEN I CATCH YOU EVERRRRRRRRRRRR <- automatic reaction after one (1) ever mention

WHAT THE HELL????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

ohhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDHFWKJSEDNGKJVHNDKFJHBNKJDFNCXKJVMF "is the new fleet colonel defying the hunters association" HE'S NEW????????????? AND HE'S DOING WHAT NOWWWWWWWWWWWW??????????????

WHAT ARE WE DOING WHY ARE WE IN THE UNIFROMFSKJGNJDK "ROOKIE" IM SCREAMINF

why IS the fleet investigating a crime scene.... is that what they do??? why are they involved im crying

"prohibiting hunters from investigating" oh I GET IT. OK BRO

oHMYGOD JENNA

omfg the AUTHORITY QWHFNVKDJGHJ GOOSEBUMPS.CHILLS.

"concerned about the confidentiality" FLASHBACKS TO THE CALL WITH CALEBGVBDKF IM SOBBING SO HARD RN

"jenna shows a rare instance of exasperation" SORRY JENNA T^T

JENNA YOU'RE LITERALLY MVP OMFHGKEJRSNDFKJG I LOVE YOU HUHUHUHUHUHU

i like how, realistically this wouldn't have been possible,,, bc military is super strict about the info they have on cadets,,, like omg if they did that w the military academy here there'd be hella price to pay HWJSKFNVSKJDFBUT SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF !!!!!!!!

SHE'S FUCKING WEARING IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭 HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU😭

"butting heads with the association" GHWEJSKDGNVKJEDFKJGH SMOOTH MF YOU THINK YOU'RE SO SLICK...................

"don't poke your nose in places where it doesn't belong" yeah that's an accurate representation 😭 authority and position mean hella. if you're just a cadet... a rookie at that... you don't get to do much if they say you can't 😭

I FUCKING CHOKEDHKEJRHGNKJDF THAT'S LUKE'S VA?????????? IM CRYIN RNHYGKEJDG ID RECOGNIZE THAT IN A HEARTBEAT 😭😭😭😭😭

I CANT DO THIS I CANTHFVWKJSD IM JUST SEEING LUKE WHAT THEY CANF DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I KNNNOOWWWW THE TWINS ARE JUSTTT SIDE CHARACTERSSSS BUT COME OOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

😭

OTL OTL OTL

sorry anyway. back to regular programming.

WAIT

HIS EYES. HIS EYES ARE SO. WEHKJGDHVKHSKDFJGHVKEJDFNGKJVDNFKJGHNVKJNKGVJDNKFJCNVKDJFNJKGHDKFVNKDJF HOLY FUCK

"UNFORTUNATELY FOR THEM, I ALREADY DANCED WITH DEATH ONCE." SIR. MARRY ME

OH GODDAMMIT I CANT STAR LINES YET COME OOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

haha he used limitless. /jJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJ

I LOVE HOW WE STARTED BOTH CALEB'S AND SYLUS' DEBUT CHAPTERS WITH MURDER LIKE YES. GET EM BOYS

THE WAY HE

THE WAY HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THE WAY HE FHEKJSDRNKJFGHKDJRHWIPED THE BLOOD OFF OF

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

"maggots" hELP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA THIS CAPTAIN DUDE

OHM YGOD

HE HGERKJSDKGJSD THE FUCKINGKRHSDKGJ TOM CRUISE-

IM CRYIGNSDKFJ SOHARDF

FUCKHDFKJGHFUKCING HELL WHY IS

HES SO GODDAM ATTRACTINVERKJG

WAIT

joseph.........

"his voice... sounds familiar." NO SHIT GIRLIEHGKBJDFHXKGJBNKDFJNV

STOPESHGKJSHK "I'D RECOGNIZE YOUR VOICE IN AN INSTANT" APPLIES TO BOTH OF THEM 😭😭😭😭😭

HES SO FUCKING HOT BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

the tone of voice the. the GAZE. the WORDS. the. EVERYTHING. hejkfhWHFDSJ HE CARRIES HIMSELF WITH SUCH. COLD. RUTHLESSNESS

AND HES SO. SMART. HES SO. HES SO

OUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH HIS BRAIN

FUCK IT I WANF HIM

OH SHITGNVKDFSJHGKD WE'RE TALKINF ABOUT COGNITIVE DISSONANCE OHMYGOFHSKJDFH CALEB I FUCKING LVOE YO U

HIS EVOL IS SO FUCKINF POWERFUL

OH MY GODHFEWNKJDSNKGJNVKJDFNXCKVJDNMFXKJGN

OHH MYGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

CALEB YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

"the order is cold, and everyone snaps out of their daze."

*SWOONS*

OMYGODWHGSKSKJD SHE RECOGNIZES THE EVOL 😭 THE FLASHBACK IMSOBBINGS O HARD RN

"it's not because i'm scared. i heard this voice before. i know this voice."

SCREAMING CRYING THROWINF UP

"no need." "I'll do it myself." IIIIIIIIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYELLINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

[ R E S T ]

I NEED A MOMENF WAIY

..

ok back to regular programming.

"can you really be called a small fish?" OH HE'S TEASING HER 😭

IM ABOUT TO SOB IM SOBBGINKRJDFHKJGKDVJFHKJGOHHYMGOD THE WAY HE REVEALED HIMSEJFKSHKJDF THE HAT THE HAT THE

"show some respect to the farspace fleet's colonel." SIR YES SIRRRRRRRRRR

i cant believe i cant star his lines yet. i already have a collection in my head

. MY GIRL'S DELUSIONALHGKJWHSDKJGHKSJD I GET IT. I WOULD BE TOO. I FEEL YOU MC. I FEEL YOU.

"watch your mouth." SIR

OH THE EYES. THE GAZE HE. oh hes losing it. oh hes trying so hard to act calm. oh caleb you absolute fucking puppy

"smart move." LET ME STAR HIS LINESSSSSSSLET MEEEEE STARRR THHEEEEEEEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

KEJHRGKJHWKJRHG I CANNOT WITH HIM HES SO WHGJDVKJH THE KABEDON THE. THE NECKLACE. THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR IM SOBBING HES TRYING SO HARD. YOU THINK YOURE SOOOOOOOOOOO SLICK CALEBBB. ITS NOT WORKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I CAN SEE YOUR YEARNIIIINNNNNGGGGGGGGG

"i... i miss him." IM SOBBING SO HARD

"do what you're told, and don't cause any trouble." SIR YES SIRRRRRRRRRRR

"be obedient, and it will be over before you know it."i need. immediately. to hear this line in japanese. IM PLAYING THE ENTIRE THING IN JAPANESE LATER OK HOLDON. he calls us a good girl i know it I JUST KNOW IT I KNOW HE DOES.

IM FUCKING WHEEEEEEEEEZIIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG THE BATON FHKJSDHKJGHS HE'S HAVING SO MUCH FUN I CANT WITH HIM OH CALEB YOU'RE NOT SLICK AT ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

HE'S BEEN WATCHING HER THIS WHOLE TIME 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM . I CANT DO THIS HE'S SO CONCERNED HES USING THIS AS AN EXCUSE TO ASKHER OHMYGOD HES SO PUPPY. HIS EXPRESSION. HES SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NOT THE WAY HE JUST GOES :D

"did i scare you? :(" IM GOING TO CRY YOURE SUCH A PUPPY

the more pathetic he gets, the more i love him. let it be known.

THE HUG THE HUG WE GOT THE HUG OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

MC'S VOICE ACTING 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 TOP TIER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM ABOUT TO SOB WITH HER AWWW WHAT THE HELL THGKWJSDKJ MY HEART

STARTS SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP

CALEB YOUUUUU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

WE GOT A LIL APPLE PATPAT 😭😭😭 IM SOOO 😭😭😭 WHAT THE HELL I LOVE HIM 😭😭😭😭😭

SOBBING CRYING ON THE FLOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WE HAVE A SECRET SPOT 😭😭😭 OMIGODDD 😭😭😭😭😭😭

oops ok image limit. PART 2 OF MY INCOHERENT YELLING IN THE REBLOGS <3

[laswells-ashtray]

Rudy sits really well for tattoos. He locks in, and he ain't moving at all. He won't twitch, no flinching or anything. He's so weirdly still that his artist tries to keep him talking because it freaks them out when he's so still and quiet.

Alejandro is weirdly attracted to it.

[robinson-graves]

[sits up suddenly from my coffin] anybody fuck with my super danganronpa 2 x guy who didnt like musicals au

[slamrink]

Nothing to see here just steph stealing glances of klay like he’s afraid he’s going to get caught 😃😃 (via namxsj on twitter )

[faaun]

we sang in the aeroplane over the sea tgth ☆