#he was probably wondering how i have a license to drive lmao

[tigerseyeiris]

oh also. i got pulled over on the way home from work tonight bc i had my brights on and i didn’t even realize 🙃🫠

[silverzoomies]

rewatching dofp and i was wondering if you think peter returned charles’ rental car right away or if he did anything silly before he returned it lol?

OH WITHOUT A DOUBT !! 💗💗💗

in the og script, they have this note abt peter - never needed a car before. so it's safe to assume that rental car is the first car he ever drove in his life. and he definitely didn't have a license.

if i had to guess, he probably -

🗲 did some speeding

🗲 tried tricks with it (donuts, drifting, etc)

🗲 realized how slow it was in comparison to himself

🗲 hated it

🗲 like, really hated it

🗲 returned it

🗲 never drove again 'til like fifteen years later

realistically he could drive up to like 115/120 mph and it would feel like going through the drive-thru to him lmao

[ridreamir]

Imagine Nebarra's reaction to the machines. All these technologies, huge buildings, eternal noise and crowds of people. That is, you will have to hold Nebarra's hand like a small child so that he does not get lost in a huge crowd and run into trouble. We don't need problems with the police, do we?

I use a translator, I apologize for possible mistakes.

Theoretically, Nebarra has encountered similar marvels of engineering within the Dwemer ruins, and they're usually hostile.

Cars are enemies. First instinct is to beat it until it's inoperable.

He would then be horrified to find that there were *people* inside. He'd probably try to bash the glass in to free them LMAO imagine a man in a full suit of armor sending his gauntlet through your windshield!!!

But wait, they're operable vehicles? A metal animal? Is it really just a moving room? He would so hijack and crash a car. If these idiots can do it, how hard can it be?

Nebarra hospital visit to the 'unqualified human healers who don't know what they're doing' arc?

Once he understands what he's looking at, he becomes a car enjoyer. Sunglasses and speeding. It's a lot to manage, but he learns quickly.

He doesn't have papers so he can't get a license. Nebarra pulled over for speeding and getting arrested for having no ID arc??? Nebarra having no incentive to listen to authority arc??? I DO WHAT I WANT sort of mer.

Cellphones. What strange devices indeed. Are they the creation of some Daedric Prince he doesn't know about? It would explain the hive mind they all seem to have.

He screams and flings your phone when he accidentally opens up the Google AI assistant. No wonder your people are so taken to their devices. It's actively sucking in their souls to feed its perverse power. No, no!! Get it away, get it away!!

...

As men tend to do, the air here reeks of something foul. He's so used to the stench of men, however, that he adjusts quickly. The cacophony of endless noise could drive a mer off the edge though and he's not keen on testing that theory.

He tends to keep away from areas that are noisy, but he has no problem in crowds. He's very happy to be swept away by all the new sights and sounds and could care less if you are separated because he can handle himself. Besides, you've been separated plenty of times before and he always finds his way back to you. Ah, wait, that came out wrong. He always returns to you- no, he will always find you again- no! He always knows you're not... far?

When you take his hand, he freezes.

The buildings are impressive. The blend of architectural styles is mildly counter-intuitive, there's a lack of cohesiveness in your civilization's building style, and though he can appreciate aesthetics, some of them are really quite ugly?? Oh well, this is farther than he could have expected men to get. Where are all the Mer? The Khajiit? The Argonians?

Are they inside your 'cellphones'?!?!?!!??!

[crinkled-emotions]

Ooh I’d love a 14 sick prompt for rooster

I assume you're referring to the whumpril post, Day 14? Please let me know if I have the wrong prompt though!! 😂

14. False Smile || Holding Back Tears || "I said I'm fine"

You really pulled on my heart strings there, ouchhhh!

I nearly put this in the Fixin' to Break verse, then I decided I was in the mood for some Hangster. Y'know, like a pro lmao.

-

Jake knew there was something going on with his boyfriend. Bradley was a big personality even when he wasn't playing some outdated song on the piano in the middle of a busy bar, but recently he'd been keeping to himself.

It was very unlike him.

-

"Hey, babe, you wanna go for a drive?"

Rooster glanced up from his phone when his boyfriend put a hand on his back, pressing a kiss into his hair. He managed a thin smile, standing.

"Lemme just go to the bathroom, be back in a sec."

He ducked into the downstairs bathroom, leaning against the door when it was closed to catch his brain from spiralling. For a moment he closed his eyes, focusing on the feeling of Jake's hand on his back, the kiss to his temple. Little things like that made him wonder if he was doing the right thing, if Jake would still want to be with him when he told him what he was thinking.

He flushed the toilet, then ran the tap for a moment. Finally, he gathered his thoughts and headed out the bathroom door. Rooster found Hangman rifling through the backseat of his truck, searching for something.

"What are you looking for?" Rooster asked, pressing a kiss to the back of his neck. Jake turned in his arms, slipping his own around Rooster's waist.

"My sanity, but I found the picnic blanket. It's the little things, right?"

Rooster snorted, surprised at the way tears pricked at his eyes. He cleared his throat, gesturing to the truck.

"Where were you thinking of going?"

"I was thinking we could go to that look out, by the time we get there it'll be sunset."

Bradley nodded.

"Sounds good."

Jake frowned, finally clicking on to the look in his partner's eyes.

"Hey. Are you okay? Do you want to talk about anything?"

Bradley gently pulled himself out of his embrace. As much as he didn't want to, if he leaned into Jake it would all come out and he needed to think about how he wanted to say it first.

"I'm fine," he replied softly. Bradley spun on his heel, getting into the passenger seat of the truck. He watched Jake pinch the bridge of his nose and knew he was irritated, potentially even about to snap. When he got into the truck he gestured to the aux cord and Bradley dutifully passed it over. The familiar tones of Garth Brooks, Jake's favourite artist, blared over the speakers and Jake backed out of the driveway.

-

As Jake drove, he looked over to Bradley and his stomach sank further than it already had. His boyfriend was leaning against the door, one leg pulled up to the seat but the other flat on the floor. It didn't look comfortable, knew his back was already fucked and it probably wasn't helping. Jake reached over, putting a hand gently on his thigh.

"Put your leg down, Roos, you know that hurts later," he reminded him. To his surprise he got a glare in response, yet the leg went down and Jake watched the pinch of pain ease ever so slightly on his boyfriend's face. When he didn't get a glare for keeping his hand on Bradley's thigh, Jake left it there. He'd been driving one-handed since he got his license, it was something he could practically do in his sleep (and never would, because driving tired made him nervous). Rooster sighed, leaning against the window again.

"I changed my mind; can we go home? I think I'm getting sick," he murmured. Jake glanced over at him, frowning.

"And I think that's bullshit," he said. Bradley looked to him in alarm.

"Excuse me?"

"I said I think that's bullshit. I think you're avoiding being honest with me."

"Fuck you, pull the truck over. I'll walk home."

"And what good would that achieve? Huh? Congratulations, you avoided it for another day, but what about tomorrow? The problem doesn't just fucking disappear because you refuse to acknowledge it, dammit Bradley."

"Like you don't avoid tough conversations," Bradley rolled his eyes. Jake sighed, pulling over on the side of the road. He locked the doors before Rooster could get out, taking off his seatbelt to face him properly.

"Talk to me," he said softly. He was aware it almost sounded like begging, but he didn't know what else to do. Bradley had been hiding from him for weeks, he didn't know if he could take much more.

"Bradley. I love you, okay? I love you, I want to hear what's on your mind."

"Even if it could break us up?"

"Uh, yeah, I think I'd better hear that."

"Look; let's just get to the lookout, okay? We can talk there."

-

For the thirty minutes it took for them to get to the lookout, they drove in silence. Rooster's face was pinched tightly in discomfort, while Hangman focused on the road and not the way his stomach kept flipping uncomfortably. They pulled into the car park and instead of getting out like they usually did, they sat uncomfortably in silence.

"I'm fine," Rooster whispered. Jake huffed.

"Yeah, sure you are."

"I said I'm fine, why are you pushing it?"

"Because you're not! We're not!"

"I- I don't know how to say it, because every time I think it through in my head I sound like I don't want us."

"Roos. Baby, I know you want us. I want you. But I need you to be honest, because I can't handle secrets. Bradley I don't know if I can do secrets."

Rooster swallowed.

"Just... look forward, okay? Don't look at me."

Hangman did as asked, but in his peripheral vision he could see Rooster's hands shaking as he put them on the dash.

"I want to quit the Navy. Completely and totally. I know that's how we met, and I'm grateful for that, but-"

Jake got out of the truck, and Bradley squeezed his eyes shut. He felt his door open, then arms wrapped around his shoulders.

"Darlin', if that's what you want? Who the hell am I to stop you?"

"I just thought you'd take it like I didn't want you."

"Fuckin'- Bradley, dammit, no. I'd never! Well; I might have eight years ago, but I like to think I've grown up since then. I'm sorry I ever gave you that impression; I just want you to be happy."

For the first time in a while, Rooster smiled a genuine smile into Jake's shoulder. He could feel his fingers tangling in his curls, gently brushing through them as he hushed him.

"Dammit, Bradley, you scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," Rooster mumbled into the crook of his neck. He felt Hangman snort.

"I love you," Rooster whispered. Hangman rolled his eyes, but held on just a little longer.

"I love you too."

-

[damistrolls]

🗣️lidree and zilika

FUN CHOICE! fair warning, i dont proofread, so hopefully theres no blaring issues in here lmao

---

"So, you really don't ask?"

The purpleblood glanced over her shoulder, looking towards the back of the truck. Unfortunately, semis are not often built with a window into the cargo trailer, so she couldn't see what was being pulled behind them. Her curiosity was momently halted by the sight of a small section behind the seats, empty aside for some blankets, pillows, and a cozy little orange cat, and she wondered how often this guy slept in here. Was he just living out of the truck? That's kind of awesome.

"Naw," Lidree answered, scratching his chin, "Figure it's best not to know. My job's to go from point A to point B, and that's it. If I know, it complicates things."

It was a fair enough point, though she can't let go of her curiosity as easily as the man beside her. Zilika’s eyes flicked back towards him.

“What if it’s something sucky?”

“Mm?”

“Like if it’s a bomb.”

“Well… best hope we don’t hit too many bumps then, huh?”

It wasn’t really the point she was trying to make, but she gets the feeling he knows that. Like he’s being politely firm about the fact that what’s in the cargo trailer is really none of his business, and he won’t be convinced to rethink it. Not that she actually cares to get into the moral quandary of it all. She really just wants to know what they’re hauling.

The young sorceress turns her attention to the rain hitting the windshield, and drew her arms around herself, thinking about how freezing it was out there. Even the truck was a little chilly, but it was far better than outside.

“It was a good thing you didn’t stay out in that,” the bronze says, echoing her thoughts before they could come out.

“Yeah, no, the last thing I’d want is to get sick and be sneezing all over my girlfriend.”

“And you really don’t mind the detour?”

“Not at all,” she replies, shrugging, “I’m in no rush. I’m just glad to not be soaking wet right now. You said the delivery’s pretty close, anyways.”

“Sure, just an hour up this way.” He gestured with a nod towards the road. “But I really could just take you directly home.”

“I told you already, I don’t wanna mess up your work schedule, man. I’m going the round trip with you. And anyways, I like being on the road.”

Lidree shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t seem to have any real objections. He’s probably just glad for the company. Constantly driving over long, empty highways seems relaxing, but lonely.

“Do you drive?” he asked.

“Me? No. My wheels of preference are a skateboard. I feel like driving would require me to be responsible in some way.”

“Well, sure. But responsibility ain’t always bad. And if you drive, you can be on the road more.”

“Fair enough. I’ll think on it.”

“Maybe you can even get a CDL.”

“Could you imagine a chick like me driving a semi? No way, man. I’d kill someone.”

The driver laughed.

“And I think you’d get too nosy about what you’re haulin’.”

“You’re insane for NOT wanting to look, man!”

“Tell you what, get your license, and the next time you catch me on a job, I’ll let you take a peek at what’s in the back.”

“I’ve never felt more motivated in my life.”

[roseriot2191]

Entry 1/Introductions

hey!

so i really havent used tumblr before really so im not sure if this is the best place for what im doing but regardless im posting it here

~welcome to my blog~

the purpose is to document my life as a whole but its also my senior year so even more reason to record it!

this blog will be my safe space to spill anything, the good and the bad, of my upcoming life. in all honesty im not sure how well ill keep up with posts or how much effort ill end up putting into them but i will try to update at least once a week for sure.

ok so now onto me :)

hello again! im rose, i use he/they pronouns and i am 17. for anyone wonder, which i dont know why but i guess i can just state it to get it out of the way, im a cis queer guy. i use queer as my label because i very much dislike labels for myself lmao. im attracted to men way more often than not but if the right person for me isnt a guy the im not going to let gender/sex get in the way of love and im not sure pansexual really fits the way i feel. queerness ill say is a part of me but not something i identify with as much as i did in middle school. ill make a separate post about this perhaps. (ill mention that my name isnt actually rose irl and its just my pen name for the blog. i have no reason to be secretive really besides to hide my identity from friends, family and people who think they might know me, especially with the topics i might write about, but also i didnt put too much effort into disconnection rose and myself so if youre one of my irl friends, hi :p ) i am a high school student, but i am mostly taking college classes at a community college. im a photo major! photography is a recent thing that i started basically the same time i started college. i sorta took a leap into photo classes and decided that i might as well major in it since ive always been a creative person and since my high school was paying for my tuition. honestly college has been really fun but its school and sometimes i get burnt out really easily which sucks. ill probably talk about this more some other time. i havent really decided on a style of photography that i prefer yet but this fall ill start a portraiture lighting class as well as a color theory class, both im really excited for.

recently ive found myself changing or perhaps growing into a more typical "teenager" recently. this growth is a drastic change from who i was as a kid and that sort of scares me but i think i like the idea of who i can become. i started taking an interest in cars which sort of came out of know where. it might be because i got my license last december and have been driving a lot more but its also rooted in my ex too. (at the begging of this summer i got into a relationship with this guy who was my first everything, and we also ended it in july which hurt hella but again this is a topic for another post later) he was a total car guy and it was something we were bonding over. he would teach/talk about cars and i listened and started to take an actual interest. we went to a few car shows and it was honestly a prefect date/hangout for us because he liked cars of course but i also got to bring my camera and take photos. definitely something i miss doing. my first car was a 2004 honda pilot. it was a manual and i tried learning how to drive it and i got the gist but ended up selling it and getting an automatic 2006 honda pilot lol. this car ive had since february and its lowkey dying now which pisses me. my grandpa was the one who ended up buying it for me which i appreciate very much dont get me wrong but he bought it off these sketchy guys and didnt get it checked out right away for any problems and now im paying extra money in repairs. currently im trying to save for something more "extra" like a mustang or a bmw or honestly an older honda like a prelude or accord, though on my salary as a host in a small restaurant i have barely $4.5k saved and i started work about the same time i got the 06 pilot. i know these cars are a bit on the pricey side but im giving myself till new years to save for something and if i dont find anything by then, ill keep my money in savings for college after i graduate. (that is with the hopes my 06 pilot lasts me through that long :,) )

so yeah. i work as a host at a restaurant. its my first job and i honestly really like it. i get paid $16.50 an hour and i get tipped out by the waitresses on top of that. on average i make about $500 in a pay period which is two weeks. i wish i had more hours but also i dont. i usually use work as an excuse to procrastinate or completely ignore school work which is really self destructive because i convince myself that im productive but in reality i need to be more focused on school. my work ethic is pretty good though i think. i always say yes if someone needs a cover or if i need to come in ealry/on a day off. after the break up i took a bunch of extra shifts and started taking caterings for longer hours and to keep me busy. in the past 2 pay periods i clocked about 50 hours each and made $850 each. this has again been really nice for savings but not for my summer classes. this pay period i had a double catering and i should clock in about 40 ish hours. ill have one more pay period after this one before i will talk to my manager about scheduling me only friday-sunday and see about scheduling me caterings more rather than hosting since i make more that way. theyre pretty good about accommodating hours/days which is really cool but my manager always complains. i feel bad but also i really shouldnt because i need to do better in school first and i already do so much more than what i get paid for honestly so she really doesnt have any reason to say anything. (especially since we just hired 3 new girls after the summer hires left) all my coworkers love me but also everyone shit talks eachother behind their backs so i always wonder if they say anything about me lol. if they are then they should put that energy somewhere else because how are you guys gonna shit talk a 17 year old when you all are 25+???

my music taste is the opposite in regards to changing drastically. i find myself returning to the music i grew up with and even expanding with similar artists. for a quick family overview my step dad who raised me since i was three was/is a tattoo artist and very much in the punk scene. my mom was in the artistic performance and alternative scene. both these adults raised a very punk baby with all the classics and now like i said, after not really interested or listening to music often for awhile, im back to my roots. this is very comforting however when me and my ex were dating he was a big influence in the reintroduction. so do i corrilate some music to him? yes. does it hurt? im not sure. its very confusing but i listen to it on blast regardless and will most likely have hearing problems by the time im 30 T~T a lot of what ive been listening to on repeat is radiohead which was "our band" and i still think it is. im a very sentimental person and cant/wont diconnect these feelings probably ever. i do this a lot. this time though i havent had the urge to stop listening which is a reliefe because i enjoy the music but also because i think itd hurt me if i found hate or sadness in the music rather than the love and bond we once shared through these songs. something ive been considering is posting a song with every post or at the very least at the end of the week. maybe even a playlist at the end of the month? not sure yet. i think music tatse is something that changes with me all the time so its something worth recording here. oh also i def will post cd hauls here too! i have a small collection started but definetely wanna get more.

lets see i dont read often but my favorite books are alice in wonderland, the warden's daughter, they both die at the end, coraline and currently i am reading solitaire by alice oseman. ive read her heartstopper series and have taken a serious interest in tori's story. for my favorite shows i binge watch shows so often and then forget about them just as fast as i watch them lol. i really like soul eater, downtown, daria, the midnight gospel, the walking dead, initial d, madoka magica, and some others i cant think of right now.

hmm~ i cant really think about anything else to write at the moment, plus ive been typing for awhile and should get to bed, so i think ill end it here.

i dont really expect anyone to read this blog in all honesty but its something i wanna do for myself and if a few people take interest or relate to anything i talk about i think thats enough :)

[cold-heart-warm-writings]

Pairing each Olivia Rodrigo song on her Sour album with a A Court of Thorns and Roses character: Yes, these songs are angsty, but I have so many fun memories with this album, so let’s just have some fun and get these characters in their feels. ~spoilers~

brutal - Nesta, Emry, Gwyn - The Valkyries “If someone tells me one more time, enjoy your youth, I’m gonna cry.” - These girls have all been through some SHIT! This is just a fun, snappy, and quick song, and I could see them absolutely rocking out to it as the House drops off more chocolate while they all scream “GOD, IT’S BRUTAL OUT HERE!” They would laugh and point at each other for the line “I only have two real friends, and lately I’m a nervous wreck!”

traitor - Elain - Even though Greyson didn’t cheat on her, he still betrayed her and turned his back on her. I can see her belting the words out a window in the House of Wind, and really putting her everything behind it.

drivers license - Rhysand - okay look we all need an angsty song every now and then, and at first I thought naaah, but then I thought of those few months where Rhys was “letting Feyre go”. The little peaks down the bond could’ve been him driving past her house… “and you’re probably with that blond girl” hey, that blond bitch has a name, and it’s Tamlin. Give him a bit of wine, and he’ll sing this loud and proud and Morr.

1 step forward, 3 steps back - The Lady of the Autumn Court - Cause Beron is an asshole and I wish she could leave his ass and get with Helion.

deja vu - Tamlin… but in a he’s having a pity party for himself kind of way. It makes me think of that dick move he made during the high lord meeting where he trying to humiliate her, (but Azriel is having none of it). 

good 4 u - Cassian when Nesta is in her figuring herself phase and Cassian is trying his best to be okay and be fine that she doesn’t want him when in reality it is absolutely destroying him inside.

enough for you - Morrigan - Because that girl tried so hard for her family, and she tries to be always on and perfect, and I can’t imagine how exhausted she must be.

happier - oh fuck, Tamlin too… cause he’s such a bitch boy. WAIT LMAO AMARANTHA - Amarantha at Tamlin. I once read some random fan theory that she was Tamlin’s true mate and that just gets me good. This is the kind of song she would totally sing to herself while thinking about Tamlin … and planning her next task to kill Feyre. :)

jealousy, jealousy - Azriel - He’s just jealous of what (or I guess, who) he can’t have. He crushes on Morr, she’s not interested (and she’s allowed that!). She crushes on Elain, and she doesn’t really want anything to do with any males (she does not owe them anything). Azriel does seem like a person who is confident enough in his own abilities, but I bet little things will eventually get him down and he can’t help but compare himself sometimes to other males.

favorite crime - “The things I did, just so I could call you mine.” Tell me that is not the definition of Feyre with Tamlin during that period of ACOTAR ending and ACOWAR starting up. Feyre was in a dark place, full of guilt for everything she did for Tamlin, and then he just.. Didn’t do much to help or support her through it. Honestly, he ALSO needed help and support. Really, they all needed a therapist or a counselor or some kind of professional to help them process what happened to them, but no one was provided that kind of support, so Feyre fell deeper. And this song resonates with her.

hope ur ok - Amren - Now, while she does not seem like a person who would like this sort of soft song… and I don’t think many of the individual verses would apply to her, but I think that when it’s quiet, she’s had a lot to drink, and she’s alone, she wonders what happened to her family. She’s been separated from her own home universe for eons, and the message of growing up and growing away from people but still hoping that they’re okay… that would touch her. “We don’t talk much, but I just gotta say… I miss you, and I hope that you’re okay.”

[trahoalai]

storytime but it's just me not minding my own business lmao

so my oldest cousin finished grad school either last year or two years ago I can't remember. I just remember last fall she got her license and she was really hard on herself bc she wasn't doing well at her job, our whole family was being really supportive but ig the issue was just with our location. there's not a lot of opportunities for her chosen field :/

three months ago she moved five hours away for her work and told nobody!!!!!! like we didn't hear anything from her she was posting a lot on her insta story but like. she and her bf were always traveling so no one suspected anything. notice how I said were.....bc they broke up‼️

if ur a stranger to this situation ur probably like "jasmine. no shit they broke up she moved and he stayed. this is very common" but for as long as I've known my cousin her bf has always been there. no exaggeration I was super young when she came here from vietnam and she was like "hi I'm chị [REDACTED] and I have a bf named [REDACTED] 😊" every freaking family event it's been him and her

ig she won't be able to attend them anymore bc of the distance :/ not the point though u wanna know how I found out???? she hard launched a new bf on her instagram yesterday‼️ they were at a lantern festival and she painted on her lantern "be with someone who is proud to have you" 🤨 I messaged her and her mom and her sister at once

leave me alone I'm just nosy. and thank god bc she and this guy have only known each other for a month and they are already talking about getting married‼️ I was like "girl WHAT" but she said she was at a point in her life where she wanted to settle down and ig her ex wasn't ready to commit.......SCREW HIM wdym he's been dating the same person for more than a decade he's literally a part of our family ughh

u know what the kicker is.....I never even liked that ex. when I was younger I thought he was cool bc he would drive me around and he could play guitar. but now it's like "aw hell here comes that white guy dating an asian girl who is so much younger than him >:/" I never said anything though bc they're both grown adults it's not my business. and it was very clear he was here to stay he learned vietnamese he like integrated himself into our community literally became family and now everyone is like "yeah but it wasn't serious" huh????? I don't like him but I would rather her marry the guy she's dated for 13 years cmon

asked her mom what she thought of the new guy and she was like "his vietnamese is ass he sounds like a little kid." but my vietnamese is ass too ig I can't fault him for that. he seems like a real kevin nguyen iykyk.

I'm naturally suspicious but the more I think about it I'm like. we know nothing about this guy but how much did we know about her ex???? *he* was always the one coming to our houses he could have no family as far as I'm aware. he never invited us over what was his last name???

and his first name????? it became like a running joke when I was little we would all call him "jeff" or "tyler" bc he never introduced himself. idk he was weird. it's gonna be weirder without him though he's in like every family photo. wondering if my cousin is gonna delete all the instagram posts with him in them???? there's like 200 so probably not

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

301 of 2023

survey by nadine07

[..INTRODUCTIONS..] First Name: Joeri. Middle Name: Stijn. Last Name: Do you really think I’m gonna share that? Birthdate: April 1990.

[..FIRST THINGS FIRST..] What was the first thing you did after you got up?

Opened the door for the cat.

What was the name of your first pet?

The cat was Agatha and the dog was Brutus.

Who was your first big crush?

That Dutch rapper, it’s still going on XD

Where was the first place you drove after you got your license?

I don’t even have a licence.

Who was your very first friend?

Agirl named Martina.

What was the first thing you ate today?

Cereal with milk.

What was your first job?

Fruit picker at the age of 16.

[..COLORS..] Name something red in the room you are in:

The chair.

Is orange one of your school’s team colors?

Our schools don’t work like that.

How many yellow shirts do you own?

None.

Name someone you know who drives a green car:

My dad.

Is it a blue sky outside right now?

It’s night, it’s dark outside by logic.

What is the first thing that pops into your head when I say ‘purple’?

Massie Block from The Clique lol.

Are the walls in the room you’re in white?

No, they’re blue.

Does black make you think of depressing things?

No, it doesn’t.

Jewelry: gold or silver?

Silver all the way.

[..PHONE STUFF..] Who is your provider?

Proximus.

How long have you had your current phone?

Almost two years.

What did your last text say?

Not bothered to check, probably a reminder.

If you woke up naked next to the last person to call, would it be awkward?

No, it was my husband.

Was your last missed call male or female?

Male, it was my dad.

Who is your 10th phone contact?

Our town hall lol.

How did you meet them?

Lmao lol.

Are you related to your 17th phone contact?

No, it’s Dominos.

How long have you known your 1st phone contact?

For many years.

When was the last time you saw them?

Right now.

Who is your 4th phone contact?

Not enough of these pointless questions? Our rehabilitation ward in the hospital.

Have you ever kissed that person?

Lol what a moronic question.

When was the last time someone drunk dialed/texted/left a voicemail?

Never lol.

[..RANDOMOSITY..] What time is it?

22:36.

Are you supposed to be doing something other than this?

Going to sleep, probably. Or maybe another one.

Do you live on your own or with your parents?

On my own, or rather with my husband.

Are you more of a cat or a dog person?

Definitely a cayt person.

Are you allergic to anything?

Yeah, nuts, dust and pollen.

Does your shirt have anything written on it?

I’m not wearing any shirt.

Have you ever tie-dyed something?

Once, or something.

Who can you always count on to cheer you up?

My ex. He’s wonderful.

How many places have you been today?

One, but yesterday I was in three.

Are you a forgiving person?

Rather forgetting and not caring person.

When was the last time you felt let down?

Long time ago.

What is the title of the nearest book to you?

Anne of Green Gables.

Are you wearing anything that belongs to someone else?

No, only my own things.

Can you whistle?

No, I can’t.

Do you look more like your mother or your father?

I look like a mix of both. I have my dad’s eyes and my mum’s nose.

Are you still in high school?

No, I graduated secondary school in 2010.

Are you the oldest, middle, youngest, or an only child?

Oldest, the older of two.

Has anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep?

No, but apparently I happened to be snoring. XD

How many people have you kissed this year?

One.

Is there anyone of the opposite sex you trust fully?

Yes, my sister.

Are you a night owl or an early bird?

Early bird. I can’t sit there at night.

Would you rather go to Brazil for the weekend or Finland for a month?

Finland for a month, it would be a dream come true.

[..AND FINALLY..] Where did you last go out to eat at?

Yesterday, in a restaurant in the Polish coastal town named Ustka. Beautiful place and a great restaurant.

When was the last time you let someone borrow something from you?

Last week, my husband borrowed 10€ from me.

Was your last breakup a bad one?

No. It was peaceful, we still love each other.

What was the last song you listened to?

Something in the car radio.

What was the last movie you watched?

I don’t waste my time on movies.

Did your last kiss happen in a public place?

Yeah, in a shop lol.

How did you meet the last person to leave you a comment?

What comment??

[sugarcoated-lame]

Aaaah such a fantastic chapter!!! I’ve been dying for more of these two 🥹💕

‘He sits there under that dim light, watching you, pretending that he isn’t. It’s more interesting than shitty essays anyway. Even if it pisses him off to watch your smile grow slowly as you giggle down the line to that little prick.’

‘You don’t remember that night last winter. Probably don’t have a clue where your hero fiancé was that night either. Bradley remembers it distinctly.’

‘You had blinked slowly and told him you weren’t sure. 3am, in the middle of December. Sitting there in a party dress and drunk out of your mind. Your future husband had ditched you. You’ve still got no memory of being hauled into a passenger seat and being driven back to the address on your driving license. Puking on Bradley’s shoes and being carried through the halls of your childhood home while your mother apologized profusely behind him.’

Bradley taking care of her after that party last winter??? I am intrigued, I can’t wait to learn more about that! No wonder he doesn’t like Malcom, but also am I sensing a teensy bit of jealousy… maybe? 👀

Bless Pasquale for being the buffer and trying to stop their bickering lmao, he’s the real MVP of this story <3

‘Bradley turns his head and looks at you. It’s one of the rare occasions on this trip that he isn’t wearing sunglasses, and you can really see his eyes now. Dark, warm. Provocative in the sense that the mere look in his eyes makes you want to start arguing with him again.’

I love the imagery of this, and I still love how easily they’re able to piss each other off without saying a word 😂

And as hot as the idea of Bradley manspreading is, I giggled so hard at her punching him the balls LMFAO. Love her <3

I’m living for this, this series is already so much fun and has me hooked, and I’m excited to see all the real drama and juiciness unfold, and I’m so excited to see them party with professor Bradshaw hehe ☺️ love love loved this ❤️❤️❤️❤️

The Odyssey | 0.2 | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Previous | Next | Masterlist

Your time in Turin draws to a close, the journey to Lake Como is a little rocky.

warnings: enemies to lovers, power imbalance (professor / student relationship), age gap (22 / 33), will be smut, virgin reader, swearing, infidelity. warnings to be added on a chapter by chapter basis. 18+ minors dni

…

“Hi!” You breathe out, smiling for the first time since you had left home. Bradley observes just the one side of the conversation that he has access to, looking up every now and again — between spelling mistakes and unfounded comparisons — watching the sudden delight on your face. “No, yeah — it’s great.”

Your eyes meet Bradley’s, smile faltering for just a moment. Your lips press into a composed, soft smile. “I’m having a great time.

You just don’t want him to worry.

Malcolm has been worried. After meeting your father in the city for dinner yesterday and hearing how furious he is with you, Malcolm has been practically restless with worry. Not for your well-being on this trip, he knows that you’re tough and can stick it out. Just for your well-being once you’re home if you screw this up.

This is the last place that you would like to be having this conversation, sitting awkwardly on the arm of a chair and twirling a dusty cord around your index finger while your indignant professor sits three feet away, marking some Pre-Raphelite poetry essays as a favour for one of the English professors. Well, maybe it’s not a favour if he’s getting paid for it.

He’s got his papers sprawled out messily across the table in front of him, knees spread and his brows drawn together seriously.

Luke was too hyper for him to get his work done, and there’s no phone in your room. Once again, against your own wishes, you’re stuck together.

It’s raining outside, which has put a dampener on the plans of the other students. You had overheard them talking this afternoon about exploring the city, maybe hitting a few bars. Silently, you’re glad that it’s raining now. You hadn’t been invited. It’s already dark out, raindrops pouring across the giant windowpanes.

Back home, you would probably be sitting on the terrace at one of your friends’ parents’ houses, talking the night away. Gripping the plastic, dust-coated phone, you hold on to the only sense of familiarity you’ve got as Malcolm tells you about his day.

He sits there under that dim light, watching you, pretending that he isn’t. It’s more interesting than shitty essays anyway. Even if it pisses him off to watch your smile grow slowly as you giggle down the line to that little prick.

“No, I know,” You sigh longingly into the receiver, staring at a crack on the ceiling. It’s painted over but still there. There’s a water stain next to it. You purse your lips and then grin, “I just miss you.”

You don’t remember that night last winter. Probably don’t have a clue where your hero fiancé was that night either. Bradley remembers it distinctly. He remembers waking up at his desk at 3am. Campus was pitch black at night, there are just a few street lamps here and there. He was shivering through his coat, his nose pink and his breath visible in front of him.

He remembers seeing you sitting there in the snow, your head in your hands. Not shivering. He had walked over to you uncertainly, standing over you with a frown on his face. Begrudgingly asking you if you were alright. Then, you had looked up at him with mascara on your cheeks and a disconnect in your reaction times. At first, he had thought you were high. He had asked you again.

You had blinked slowly and told him you weren’t sure. 3am, in the middle of December. Sitting there in a party dress and drunk out of your mind. Your future husband had ditched you. You’ve still got no memory of being hauled into a passenger seat and being driven back to the address on your driving license. Puking on Bradley’s shoes and being carried through the halls of your childhood home while your mother apologized profusely behind him.

“Yeah,” You stretch your legs out in front of you, shoe resting against the edge of the coffee table. Bradley’s sneaker rests against the opposite end, tapping against the page of a discarded title page. You lift your gaze to look at him. “Everyone’s being really nice. Just like you said.”

Neither one of you says a single word to each other. He listens to you for two hours, talking to that asshole, and then watches you walk wordlessly up to your room for the night. He could have made a snide remark, or reminded you that you’re never going to pass if you spend this whole trip whining to your boyfriend. Instead, he finishes grading the essays and takes them back up to his room.

“Hey, Bradley.” Luke smiles at him from his bed, already working on journaling today’s events. Bradley gives him a nod of acknowledgement and tosses the papers down onto the desk. He’ll get the guy at the front desk to fax them back in the morning.

This part of the trip was always the most boring. It’s all about the cultural exchange at this point. The museums, the tourist traps, that kind of thing. He showers late, wakes up early and spends another day in another museum. He tugs your headset off of your ears, bumping his shoulder into yours as he tells you to pay attention to the guide.

Just like that, your two days in Turin are up and you’re being loaded onto a bus to the mountains and he’s wearing a crew neck that doesn’t fit him right and snapping his fingers at you. It’s got to be at least two sizes too big, hanging loosely on his already wide frame. “Hey, you, up front.”

You stare at him as you push the head set off of your ears.

“I don’t want you puking. You can sit between me and Paz.” Bradley tells you, pulling open the door to the van.

“I won’t get sick.” You frown at him.

“It’s nearly a three hour drive and we aren’t stopping. Just sit in the front.”

And that’s where the conversation ends. You’re stuck between them on the bench, shoulders pressed into theirs on either side and Pasquale apologizing every time he grazes your knee, which is every time he goes for the gears.

It’s bustling behind you, everyone talking about the days ahead and the trip to the lake. You shoot a quick glance down at your backpack by Bradley’s feet. Pride won’t let you check the itinerary in front of him. He might not notice, he isn’t paying much attention anyway.

Knees spread, arm resting against the open window, allowing wind to whip your hair into oblivion, too engrossed in his book to notice how much he’s making your eye twitch. You part your knees suddenly, knocking his briefly back onto his side of the bench, then crossing your legs.

He glances at you, then settles comfortably, spreading his knees further.

“What is your problem?”

Pasquale glances over at the two of you, pressing his lips into a thin line as the van crosses out of Turin, barely ten minutes into the journey.

“I don’t have a problem,” Bradley answers calmly, turning his attention back to his book, pretending like he can’t feel your glare burning into him. You turn in your seat. He ignores you more. “How’s your Latin coming along?”

Everyone in this van knows that you don’t know enough Latin to pass this class. Bradley knows that your father paid for you to have a private tutor before you came out here. He’s also confident that you couldn’t so much as tell him what ‘carpe diem’ means if you needed to.

You open your mouth to retaliate, quickly interrupted by Pasquale. “How about we play a game? — We could play I spy.” He turns his head and grins like it’ll soften either one of your sour moods. Bradley scoffs at the idea and turns back to his book. Pasquale’s hands flex around the wheel. “I spy with my little eye… something beginning with W.”

A silence fills the cab. It lingers heavily as your knee presses into Bradley’s, trying to force his out of your way. Almost long enough for Pasquale to start speaking again.

“Wheel.” Bradley answers finally.

It’s enough to have the short man on the other side of you whooping, grinning across at his old friend. “Yes! Excellent, Mr. Bradshaw. Your turn.”

Bradley turns his head and looks at you. It’s one of the rare occasions on this trip that he isn’t wearing sunglasses, and you can really see his eyes now. Dark, warm. Provocative in the sense that the mere look in his eyes makes you want to start arguing with him again.

“I spy something beginning with D.” Bradley decides, looking right at you. It’s clear that he’s insulting you, you just aren’t sure exactly how. Whipping your head around, you narrow your eyes at Pasquale, who shrinks in his seat.

“Discipula? — Student.” Pasquale tells you sheepishly.

Bradley lets out a dry chuckle as he turns back towards his book. “See? — Pasquale could pass my class.”

“You know, it’s usually a reflection of someone being a shitty teacher if half of the class fails every year.” You decide, throwing yourself back against the seat and folding your arms across your chest.

“What’s it a reflection of if someone’s attendance is even lower than their GPA?” Bradley asks without looking up. You could continue this back and forth, the bickering, for the entire three hour journey. You could tell him that your GPA, actually, is fine, and that it’s just his class that’s holding you back. But then, he spreads his knees further and the opportunity is just right there.

You close your hand into a loose fist, raise it and come down hard on the apex of his obnoxiously parted legs. Bradley grunts and almost hits the dashboard, collapsing forwards at the impact.

His hand grabs at his crotch, throbbing from the feeling. He stays there, folded forwards and breathing hard. Suddenly, he’s the one trying not to puke.

“Mr. Bradshaw, are you okay?” Pasquale asks gingerly. He shifts slightly in his seat. Closer to the door, further from you.

“Yeah.” Bradley strains, his head still between his knees as he cups at his injured manhood. He breathes hard, turning his head to stare at you. “What the fuck is the matter with you?”

Admittedly, it was an overreaction, but it’s too late to change it now.

Taking your time to cross one knee over the other and straighten up, keeping your jaw squared and your eyes ahead, gives you a little longer to come up with an answer. “I was just channeling Erinyes. Y’know, really embracing my studies.”

As much as he wants to keep complaining about the number you just did on his balls, Bradley’s momentarily quietened by the fact that you know who they are. He breathes hard, sitting back up and shifting in his seat.

“If you worked half as hard on studying as you did on that punch you might be something other than a trophy wife in the future.” He should have learned his lesson, but he’s still tormenting you. You whip around quickly and open your mouth to continue. Bradley stares back at you.

He should have said housewife. The academic in him as him lingering on that one stupid phrase. Trophy wife. He shouldn’t be telling you that you’re a prize. He shouldn’t be saying any of this to you, you shouldn’t be punching him in the balls — it’s all backwards. But, he has had girls throwing themselves at him since he started teaching, he has taught himself to be careful with his wording.

And then you come along and you get him so wound up that it all goes out the window.

“Maybe we should just listen to some music. Do you like Steely Dan?” Pasquale asks sheepishly.

The remaining three hours are in almost silence. The chatter continues on behind you, and it turns out that Pasquale has potentially every Steely Dan cassette that is available to buy in Northern Italy. The countryside passes you by, a vibrant green on an otherwise gloomy day.

It’s all motorway until you’re closer to the lake. You resent Bradley for not sitting you by the window so that you can see the trees, and the branching country roads. Instead, he’s the one who gets to appreciate the view. It feels like he can finally breathe when he’s this far away from home.

“Hey, Bradley, is that the lake?” Luke calls from the back.

“Yeah. That’s it.” Bradley turns his head and looks out over the water. This place is increasingly popular, for good reason. It’s a great spot, and there’s always someone worth talking to around here.

You sit forwards to look around him at the lake. Pleasantly blue, for lake water, nestled in the foothills of some beautiful mountains. You hit Bradley in the leg with your backpack and then sit up, leaning over him with your polaroid camera.

He winces as the flash catches his eye, leaning away from you, putting his stupidly large paw over the lens and shoving it away from himself. You shoot him a look and pull back to check the image, pleasantly surprised by what you’ve captured. Malcom would love this place.

The van stops and finally you’re out and standing on solid ground, not being squished between two men. You stretch your arms and look around for the dingiest hotel that you can see. Bradley strolls right ahead with his suitcase in his hand, headed for one that doesn’t look half bad.

Maybe things here won’t be as bad as they were in the city.

You struggle with your suitcase, dragging it in behind everyone. Bradley collects the keys and sits everyone down in the lobby like he had in Turin.

“If you hated your roommate, you can switch. I really don’t care. No same sex roomies, that’s it.”

Given your lack of friends in this god-forsaken place, you find yourself once again being handed a key to a room that you’ll be sharing with Robin. She doesn’t have a nice word to say about you and if she continues on the way that she is, you’re going to push her mattress out into that damn lake.

“Alright. It’s mid-day now. Do what you want, I’ll meet you all back here at six, sharp.” Bradley instructs, looking forwards to these six hours of alone time already.

“Um, Bradley— there’s nothing on the itinerary at six today?” Abigail piped up from behind you. You wouldn’t have known that.

“That’s right, we don’t have anything scheduled for tonight,” Bradley agrees with her, giving a small, curt, nod. He smiles. “I’m gonna take you guys to a party before we get started with the hard work tomorrow.”

Pasquale beams at your side. It takes him a second to notice the dubious way that you’re now staring across at him. He chuckles and then nudges you arm playfully.

“I love this part of the trip.” He tells you excitedly.

…

Tags:

@thedroneranger @batdanceq @wkndwlff @cassiemitchell @himbos-on-ice @bradshawseresinbabe @damrlova @fudge13 @xoxabs88xox @mak-32 @sihtricswife @callsignvenus @callsign-joyride @harper1666 @krismdavis @sheisanangell @thecitysgraveyard @cherrycola27 @bradshawsbaby

[yourenothingbutnottome]

what the actual heck

Soooo I was just going through old fanfics I wrote for myself, looking for anything good, and I found this monstrosity of a beginning of a Twilight fanfiction LMAO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS GOING ON BC IN MY DESCRIPTION / NOTES TO MYSELF I SAID IT WAS A PAUL FIC???? BUT SHE OUT HERE THRUSTING HER B00BS @ DOC CULLEN?? Anyways, if you want to be embarrassed with me and read whatever this is, here you go

Summary: 1st person POV, Bella's sister meets Carlisle for the first time and absolutely makes a fool of herself

T/W: Second hand embarrassment so hard that you will want to burn your phone

I didn’t think there was such a person in the world who could be any clumsier than me. But, enter my sister, Bella Swan, back home to Forks, Washington, and within a week, she’s already managed to get herself almost killed in a car accident. Not entirely her fault, I suppose, but still. The girl can really make an impression.

I hadn’t seen her in literal years before her moving here. Face to face, that is. We of course kept in touch through Facetime. Technology is a wonderful thing. Despite being my twin, she is the exact opposite of me in just about every way. Where she is introverted and quiet, I am obnoxiously peppy and I admittedly demand attention. Which is probably why I ended up staying with dad after the divorce. I’m more my mom, and two aggressively dominant personalities together? Bella would have suffered. So, old Charlie was blessed with raising the loud, rambunctious one. Though, honestly, Bella has turned out to be more work than she puts off. Girl is in the hospital already, refusing to call mom. 

“Come on Bells,” our dad pleads with her.

“You shouldn’t have told her.”

“Bella,” I groan. “Spare us the dramatics. Call her before she books the next flight out.”

“Yea, you’re right,” she mumbles, looking down at her phone. I assume she’s starting a text to our mother, while our father threatens to take Tyler’s license away. Tyler. He’s always been in my friend group. Good guy. He really is good people, and I know damn well that it wasn’t his intention to hurt Bella. Although, the guy has been driving in Forks for long enough to know how to drive in the rain and the snow, so who knows what really happened behind that wheel. 

Just as I had pulled my own phone out to start scrolling through Instagram, the double doors open. I unscrew the cap to my water bottle and take a drink. Because hydration.

“I heard the Chief’s daughter was in.” I glance up to meet the eyes of the one Dr. Carlisle Cullen. And in typical clumsy Swan girl fashion, I choke on my water at the sight of him. As I cough, it spills onto my shirt.

“Jesus, Y/N,” Bella laughs. “Wrong hole?” I blush. Wrong hole indeed. 

“Yea, something like that.” I look back to Dr. Cullen, completely embarrassed. I clearly knew his kids were attractive, but the man that stood before me? I would probably die for him. I’ve seen my fair share of attractive men - yes men, we don’t stan inexperienced boys ‘round here - but no one has ever called for more than a glance of my attention. The way he was looking at me through his lashes - oh, those gorgeous eyes. Gold? Strange, but it fits him in a way that no other would be able to flaunt. His hair was just begging for me to run my fingers through it. And, maybe a bit weird, but he’s got a really wonderfully shaped nose. The nose can make or break the face, and I was a puddle before Dr. Cullen. As if everything that is good in this world has been embodied in this one man, and to save him would be to save mankind entirely. Yup. I would definitely die for him.

Dr. Cullen stands stiffly, obviously making an attempt at avoiding my eyes. Am I paying too much attention to him? Most definitely. Am I going to stop? Definitely not. I don’t think I could even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. Want to, that is. I’d been living in Forks my whole life and this is the first time I’ve encountered this Adonis of men, there’s no way that I’m going to let this moment go without even attempting to remember every inch of his face. Who knows when, or if, I’d ever seen him again.

“Uh, yea. Bella,” my sister says, distracting me from my admiration. I do take this moment to blush, again, and look down. What kind of crazy, obsessed, stalker, psycho weirdo, whatever other creepy name you can think of, am I? I hate people that do exactly what I’m doing right now. I feel like such a child. So immature. What do they call that? Oh. A schoolgirl crush, that’s right. How validating.

Bella elbows me and I realize that everyone was staring at me expectantly. “Oh!” I seriously want to disappear. How much more childish and oblivious can a person get? “Bella.” I point. And then deadpan. Bella is Bella’s name. Not my name. “Handsome.” I cringe. Why am I so flustered right now? What is talking? “Not me handsome. You handsome. No, I mean” I cover my face with my hand as if it would hide me from the shame of this moment. “Y/N. My name is Y/N.”

My dad looks absolutely confused, whereas Bella is having no trouble laughing at me. Dr. Cullen only nods, the muscles in his jaw twitching ever slightly. He’s annoyed. He thinks I’m dumb. He can’t wait to leave. Oh my god, talk about the embarrassing underage crush on a grown man. Gross. I hate myself right now. Have I mentioned that I want to disappear yet?

Ignoring me completely, he focuses solely on Bella. “Well, Bella, looks like you took quite a spill. How do you feel?” I’d never been jealous of Bella before in my life, but, what I would give to be the girl who almost got hit by the car, sitting on that hospital bed with Dr. Cullen shining his flashlight into my face.

“Good,” she replies, still giggling under her breath. Traitor.

He continues, still ignoring us. I notice he still remains frigid, stiff, tense. It actually seems like he wasn’t breathing. Like he had stopped inhaling the moment he entered the room. “You might experience some post-traumatic stress, or disorientation. But your vitals are good. No signs of any head trauma. I think you’ll be just fine.” He flashes a million dollar smile at her, though it was only a slight lifting of the corners of his mouth. He is beyond dazzling. Still. I’m ready to die for him. Smile at me. Look at me. Breathe. Something. Please. As if sensing my longing, he briefly settles his eyes on me, only to rip them away just as fast, muscles tensing even more, if that was even possible.

Bella being Bella uses this opportunity to talk about his son, attempting to get some kind of reaction out of him, she says, “You know, it would have been a lot worse if Edward wasn’t there. He knocked me out of the way.” I look at Bella like she’s got a screw loose. I know damn well that Edward was across the lot with the rest of his family this morning, nowhere near her. She gives me an exasperated look as if to say ‘I know’. “It was amazing. I mean, he got to me so fast. He was nowhere near me.”

Clever girl. She’s baiting him. He gives nothing away, ever composed. “Sounds like you were very lucky. Charlie.” he nods his head to him as a goodbye. “Bella,” he does the same nod for her. Waiting to hear my name roll from his tongue, he simply turns and leaves the room without a word, not even a glance in my direction. I feel everything inside of me sink and shrivel into nothing at his cool brush of rejection. I don’t know what I expected. I don’t know what I was waiting for. But it wasn’t that. 

My dad rolls his eyes at me, helping Bella out of bed. 

“I’ve got to go sign some paperwork,” he clears his throat awkwardly. “Make sure you call your mom.” He walks off, leaving me alone with Bella.

I quickly look away, just as she lets out the laugh I know she had been holding in the entire time. “Handsome,” she mimics me, raising her voice an octave, “Not me. You handsome. Dr. Cullen you’re so pretty. Dr. Cullen you’re so handsome. Oh, Dr. Cullen, you can check me out. Look at me. Notice me.”

“Oh shove off,” I laugh, lightly pushing her shoulder, walking away from her.

“Oh come on, no way! You always make fun of me. And finally Miss. Perfect Composure falters? You get all giddy and can’t talk? No way I’m letting you live this down.”

“Oh my god, Bella,” I bury my face in both my hands, groaning. I peek out again, brushing my hair back, then glance at her, my face in a grimace. “Was I that obvious?”

“Y/N. Seriously. That obvious? You made the poor man practically run from the room.”

We look at each other for a second and then both proceed to laugh together. We round the corner, still laughing, when we overhear the Cullens bickering amongst each other.

“What was I supposed to do? Let her die?” Edward asks his family. Bella and I look at each other, simultaneously quieting our laughter and tiptoeing back behind the corner, as if we’re one being. I love our twin power. Reading minds without reading minds. Oh, I forgot. Just in case anyone is reading my mind right now, I scream as loud as I can in my head. At that exact moment, I swear Edward visibly flinches and looks right at me. My eyes widen and I quickly move to stare at Bella. We’re caught. 

“Maybe we should continue this in my office.” I don’t need to look to know that was the angelic voice of one Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He thought he could run from me. Little does he know of the persistence that is Y/N.  If he wants to play a game, boy can I play. You’ve got no idea what you’re in for Dr. Cullen. Before walking to them, I look to Bella, look down at her chest really quick, and then back to her eyes - our code for “Do I look like I could stop traffic? I.E. Are my boobs okay?”. She winks at me, meaning, yes. I pull my shoulders back, flip my hair back, and push them out just the tiniest bit, paying extra attention to my walk. I wink back at Bella, a “I’ll see you at home.” 

I swear, as I start towards the Cullen family, Edward is trying his best to hold in a laugh. “Dr. Cullen!” I greet. “Before my sister and I leave, I was hoping I could ask you a few questions. I’m actually hoping to be a surgeon one day, and, well, the guidance of reputable mentors in the medicinal field in Forks seems to be a bit lacking.”

“Oh, you’re interested in medicine?” He asks, forcefully.  Don’t worry, Dr. Cullen. I’ll break you.

“Passionately.” Lie. I don’t even know what those headphone things he wears around his neck are called. But if he’s medicine, then I’m interested. Really, I’m into literature, who isn’t nowadays?

[fallasleepscenarios]

𝓹𝓲𝓬𝓴 𝓾𝓹 𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓼 [bnha headcanons]

what pick up lines do they choose to use when they're on a dare to hit on you? including: bakugo katsuki, kirishima eijiro, todoroki shoto, iida tenya, midoriya izuku, kaminari denki

☆:*´¨`*:.•.¸¸.•´¯`•.♥.•´¯`•.¸¸.•..:*´¨`*:.☆:*´¨`*:.•.¸¸.•´¯`•.♥.•´¯`•.¸¸.•..:*´¨`*:.☆☆:*´¨`*:.•.¸¸.•´¯`•.♥

bakugo k.

cringes at all of the pick up lines he could find online, but uses the coolest ones he could possibly find... "coolest" according to the guy who nicknamed himself Great Explosion Murder God. shamelessly pulls them off.

─Something’s wrong with my eyes, because I can’t take them off you.

─ Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?

─Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?

─I’d like to take you to the movies, but they don’t let you bring in your own snacks.

─I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Could you try calling it to see if it works?

─If looks could kill, you'd be a weapon of mass destruction.

─What does it feel like to be the second hottest person in the room?

─Did your license get suspended for driving all these guys crazy?

kirishima e.

chaotic neutral energy, as always, kirishima has ZERO (0) shame and his confidence actually pays off "cringe" doesn't exist in his vocabulary. picks the manliest yet cutest lines he could find.

─Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material.

─I was wondering if you’re an artist because you were so good at drawing me in.

─If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’

─The sparkle in your eyes is so bright, the sun must be jealous.

─Do you have room for an extra tongue in your mouth?

─Are you cake? Cause I want a piece of that.

─Did you hear of the new disease called "beautiful", I think you're infected.

─Your lips look so lonely... Would they like to meet mine?

todoroki s.

tries his best to find at least some smart pick up lines, knowing he couldn't find any that wouldn't be cringey. somehow manages to look cool and unproblematic

─You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent.

─I swear someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

─They say nothing lasts forever—so would you be my nothing?

─Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future.

─Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you.

─You must be tired from running through my mind all night.

─Do you have a bandaid? I scrapped my falling for you.

─If you were a triangle you'd be acute one.

midoriya i.

he suCks at picking lines, sucks at using them. at least isn't as bad at this as Iida. 30% probability of success, he's too cute OBVIOUSLY STUTTeRS

─You know, I’m actually terrible at flirting. How about you try to pick me up instead?

─I hope our love will be like the number Pi: irrational and endless!

─Even in zero gravity, I would still fall for you! (a/n: where my izuocha stans at)

─My mom thinks I'm gay, can you help me prove her wrong?

─Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? *holds up a mirror*

─You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

─Remember me? Oh, that’s right, I’ve met you only in my dreams.

─Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

iida t.

is so so bad at this,,, acting natural when assigned anything isn't an option for him his bad and corny choices of pick up lines can only prove how wholesome he is, although he obvs lacks some emotional intelligence in that matter uses formal speech ofc

─I just had to tell you, your beauty made me truly appreciate being able to see.

─You’ve got everything I’ve been searching for, and believe me-I’ve been looking a long time.

─Are you a magician? Because when I’m looking at you, you make everyone else disappear!

─Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.

─I hope you know CPR, 'cause you're taking my breath away!

─If you were a library book, I would check you out.

─Are you an astronaut because I think you’re out of this world.

─If you were a tear drop I would never cry for fear of losing you.

kaminari d.

just like kirishima, he has no shame in his choice of words.  however,  there's a thin line between funny cringey and repulsive cringey and that's denki veeeery ambitious

─I can’t tell if that was an earthquake, or if you just seriously rocked my world.

─Any chance you have an extra heart? Mine’s been stolen!

─Are you an electrician? Because you’re definitely lighting up my night! (a/n: lmao ironic i love it)

─I think there’s something wrong with my phone. Your number’s not in it

─If I had to rate you from 1 to 10, I'd rate you a 9, because I'm the 1 you're missing.

─My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

─If I followed you home, would you keep me?

─I am no criminal but would you mind keeping an eye on me?

special mention:

mineta m.

as expected, overly sexual..borderline offensive tries his best, but not for the best cause

─I was feeling a little off today, but you’ve turned me on again!

─I lost my keys... can I check your pants?

─Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.

─Your clothes look so uncomfortable, why don't you let me help you take them off?

[stardoopy]

juniper for the character ask game? :o

one aspect about them i love

She’s just so kind, and she puts up with so much stuff during the game I feel so bad for her. But she’s always forgiving and tries to see the best in people without being too naive or unable to stand up for herself.

one aspect i wish more people understood about them

( well i do wish people would stop erasing robin,hugh and myriam just to focus on ships and act like she has no one else who cares about her!! lol! )

I think her chronic illness ( which is probably asthma) gets completely ignored a lot I never see it mentioned, outside of one fic where her friends had inhalers on hand for her. It’s like, because its not a constant “”disabling”” condition its forgotten about, even though its stated in canon that she literally couldn’t go to school regularly as a child because of it. Also nit picky but I HATE that Athena says (in her head) that “she's still got that cough... Guess she's not as strong as she pretends to be” as if Juniper being sick means that she’s weak.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have about this character

Despite her love of plants and fruit, she actually doesnt like vegetables that much

She’s one of those people who can make everyone shut up the second she gets mad because “holy shit the nice girl is pissed”

one character i love seeing them interact with

I mean the obvious answer for me is Hugh, mind you not just because I love Hugh, but because their bond in canon seems to be really strong and they care for each other a LOT. Also the sort of relationship between the “arrogant guy hiding a soft heart” and the “kind and gentle girl who tries to see the best in people” is so interesting, especially because Hugh comes off poorly and you’re left wondering “how did these two even become friends? I dont see much fan content that focuses solely on their relationship and if i were a better person I’d be making it myself.

one character i wish they would interact with/interact with more

Ok i have 2 here lmao:

Robin. Robin gets the short end of the stick through the entire case, and unlike Hugh and Juniper, her relationships with them are not really expanded upon much — ESPECIALLY with Juniper. They BARELY interact in the case, and even then there’s not much on Juniper’s end about their relationship, but obviously Robin cares about her a lot. I guess i wish they put more thought into that, especially to me since it feels like Juniper was originally just the mutual friend of Robin and Hugh and eventually those two became friends as well

Justine Courtney. ( tumblr accidentally deleted everything i wrote here so i dont exactly remember my original thoughts). I think her and Constance Courte were probably very similar, despite us never meeting Courte. I think that Justine wouldnt only be a good mentor for being a judge, but I think she would also be a motherly mentor figure to Juniper, similar to how I think Courte was for her, but not nearly as close or anything. I think they’d get along well.

one (or more) headcanon(s) i have that involve them and one other character

I have a few ideas about how her and Hugh met, but one of them is that she was struggling to study on her own during freshman when Hugh came over and offered to help (idk if this is before he thought he was a genius or not since that was based on his bribed grades). Anyways he helps her out but in fact she’s mostly figuring it out herself and actually helping HIM through the problems while he tried to help. I think that mutual kindness made them feel like they had someone they could talk to since neither of them really knew anyone else there yet.

I’m pretty sure no one in the WAA has their drivers license so I think it’d be funny if Juniper got hers before Athena ever did because now Athena feels she cant be chivalrous and drive Juniper places

Her and Klavier definitely keep in touch after the school festival. Everyone is surprised when they find out she has casual conversations with this celebrity musician.

[kuroosweakness]

Hiii! I’m the curly haired anon, I loved what you wrote for me!!! I’ve come back with another one lol how would a road trip be with Oikawa, Akaashi, and Kuroo, like all of them separately with just their s/o? Would they wanna drive, would they want their s/o to drive, gas station order LOL, the whole nine yards! Thank you<3 I hope you’re doing well!

a/n: hii curly haired anon <33 a road trip with oikawa, akaashi, or kuroo would be so fun omgg :)) thanks so much for reading and requesting !!

oikawa, akaashi, and kuroo on a road trip with their s/o

oikawa:

- the day before the trip, he’ll be like “oh yeah i wanna drive !! it’ll be so fun and you can just relax through the whole trip. we can enjoy the scenery, play music, roll down our windows....”

- but on the day of the trip: “driving is a little too tiring :(... babe you have a license, don’t you ? :D”

- okay so you both agree on taking turns to drive :)

- oikawa definitely overpacks when it comes to snacks. he’s a prepared man for any snack emergency. especially sweets !! donuts, gummy bears, cookies, caramel popcorn, pocky, etc etc ( and milk bread of course ) 

-  “y/n ~ we’re out of vanilla cookies D:”

- “... yeah but there’s still five packets of chocolate cookies in the back babe ...”

- “ it’s not the same :( .... i knew i should’ve packed more-”

- the first few hours will be so hyped up !! music playing, rolled down windows, and a lot of laughter :)) but after a while, he’ll start drooling in sleep ( he looks so peaceful in his sleep ><) 

- he definitely takes a lot of pictures. he probably brought two different cameras to make sure he takes enough photos for scrapbooks. he’ll take selfies, pictures of the scenery, you driving, him and his snacks, you and your snacks, you sleeping, the cows on the side of the road, funny license plates, etc etc 

- “y/n are we there yet ?”   ...  “now, are we there yet ?” 

- gas stops will be the best of the best. you’ll both dash out the car and run into the gas station store together and stock up on even more snacks

- “yayyyy my legs are finally free :DD” 

- after going to the bathroom and having enough snacks again, oikawa will pump gas with the window down so he can still talk to you while he swipes the credit card 

- he’ll give you random compliments while driving, “y/n, you look really really pretty today.”          

-“aww that baby cow is so cute ... but my y/n is even cuter hehe” 

- overall, road trips with oikawa are fun, adventurous, and a time to feel free and happy while enjoying each other’s presence :)

- ( everywhere he goes, he shows you off. more and more pictures. ) 

akaashi:

- hmm... he’ll want to drive but if you would like to too, then he’ll be happy to sit in the passenger’s seat. (he secretly loves watching you drive ... it makes him feel energetic and relaxed at the same time ... and because he likes your side profile <33)

- conversations with him will mostly be recalling back funny and memorable memories you both have together <33 

- “remember the time we ran into a kid with a bloody nose and you got him a tissue ? that was sweet :)” 

- “ ... i’ll never forget the time you took my shirt and claimed it was yours for a week and then gave it back to me and took my hoodie for a week and then gave it back again and then took anoth-”  

- “and i’ll do it again ;)”  - you 

- as for snacks, he’s more of a potato chips and trail mix person. when you’re driving, he’ll feed you some of his snacks “do you want a big piece of chip or a small piece? okay open wide ~” 

- chill, relaxed, groovy music will play in the background while akaashi dances a little ( imagine akaashi dancing omg jfkdlskdjfdkl ahhhhh- ) 

- he’s very prepared and has all the different places to stop at planned out. also really good at navigating the roads !! 

- he brought a lot of pillows and blankets for napping when the other is driving. he’ll put a shade on if the sun’s hitting your eyes and wrap your body in blankets 

kuroo:

- he would definitely love to drive ( i have a feeling kuroo likes cars and electronic related things. i feel like he’s one of those people who can back-park with one hand and look really cool while doing it ... )

- kuroo would definitely tease you about your snack-taste ( but not in a mean way of course ) “babe are you sure you like chips that looks like broccoli ?” 

-  you’re in charge of snacks while he packed bento box lunches for the two of you :)) 

- egg salad sandwich, fried chicken, rice, curry, yakisoba, cheesecake, all that  

- if you compliment his cooking, he’ll be smiling widely the whole entire trip. he’ll probably brag about it too :) 

- most of the time, you both are just making jokes together and laughing at the inside jokes you have

- sometimes, his conversations starts getting deep into the wonders of life “have you ever thought about the meaning of life? if you and i weren’t here today then we wouldn’t be in this car talking to each other right now. life is a series of decisions. each decision we make impacts the rest of our life. if we hadn’t met then what would we even be doing right now? thank goodness i got to meet you or who else will i make fun of ? ;)” 

- “kuroo i’m just trying to sleep, not get a life lesson ... but keep talking i like your voice” 

- kuroo talks back to the GPS ( lmao ) “no, i’m not gonna turn right on elm’s street” 

- you guys will stop at many different sites just to enjoy the environment and buy souvenirs. museums, coffee shops, beaches, cool statues, boardwalks, shopping malls, all that 

- his hand is definitely on your thigh when he’s driving ... a little dangerous but his hand is not gonna move no matter what you say 

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 14

FIRST TIME READER, click here

TWs / Summary: Petrolhead dorks! Just Rich People Things. Car sex with daddy Tony! Poor cop LMAO. Snark snark snark. Unsafe driving - don't drive like that unless you know what you're doing! As for the inspiration for this chapter, thanks to @persephonehemingway and her deliciously filthy fic on AO3. Y'know, the one with Beck and Tony and stuff... 😏

@miscmarvelwritings is a lovely beta. Baby gay 🥺✨

Soft, steady rumbling of the engine; it reminded me of a lion's purr. I could feel it under me, reverberating through the driver's seat, whirring beneath my hand as I put the car in drive. It was such a shame Royce had an automatic transmission. Unlike most people, I actually enjoyed driving stick, the option of controlling the speed one gear by one gear was exhilarating.

My face felt hot. I pulled out of the parking lot evenly, driving through the city streets at a moderate pace, not the speed limit-because in a car like this it would be a crime-but not dashing around madly either. The beast under me was to be savoured and savour I did.

"You're enjoying this," Tony quipped cheekily, having made himself comfortable with his feet on the dash. His sneakers laid in a haphazard heap halfway under his seat. A picture of lavish comfort. "Take a left, go on the highway. We can afford to go a little crazy."

Not the one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I followed his instructions, accelerating in excitement. A little past ten o'clock, the cars on that particular stretch of road were few and in-between. The streetlights blinked their greetings, the speedometer surely and steadily climbing over the 80MPH mark.

I laughed. I couldn't keep it in even if I tried; with a car of this size, this weight, such a relatively low speed felt twice as exciting.

"Go faster," Tony ordered, sitting up straighter. "Faster."

"Yes, daddy," I snarked, flooring it. The g-force took hold of us briefly, flattening our backs with the seat. I laughed again, adrenaline pumping throughout my body, giving me that extra attention boost. I easily maneuvered around a couple of minivans around the 110 MPH mark. The engine sang and roared. "Wanna see something cool?"

Tony's pupils were blown wide, the amber irises nearly invisible in the sea of black. He was turned on, incredibly so. "Yes, baby girl," He groaned.

I was familiar with the road just enough to pull off a stunt with the barest bit of luck. Karma was on my side that evening, I wasn't going to waste any more time. My blood sang, demanding a release of the pent-up tension. Another two miles and I spied the dimly lit exit on my right side; not a soul in sight but Tony's wide-eyed wonder, I went in for the kill.

Tires squealed, obscuring my happy little noise and Tony's shocked exhale as I steered into the narrow opening, missing the railings by a mere few inches. The Royce went into full drift, it's wheels automatically locking, and I had no doubt the tires would need a change after this - but we pulled through, the car evening out just as a straight stretch of road appeared again.

The multiple lights flashing were disregarded by me along with quiet angry beeping, I was overtaken by my own bravado. Not once I hesitated but my hands still shook, tiny little tremors. Tony saw it, too, I noticed - gaze hungry, he eyed my left wrist nonchalantly hanging over the steering wheel. We were still going steadily at 100 MPH.

"Tony?" I asked, proud and happy.

"Princess," He answered, breathless. "Pull over, over there," pointing somewhere to my right.

Confused by his sudden change of attitude, I nonetheless, complied, parking on a small patch of concrete. It looked like an abandoned gas station or some creepy shit.

"Come here," As soon as I shut down the car, I felt myself roughly pulled into his lap.

Tony's hands were everywhere, on my hips, on my tits, under my dress. His own arousal in constraints, he positioned me right on top of it, grinding slowly and desperately into my center. I was right there with him, hungry for the way his mouth immediately attached itself to mine, tongue plunging straight into my throat without finesse.

Agile fingers toyed with my breasts and I raked my nails down his throat in retaliation; neither of us knew who moaned first into the kiss. We swallowed the breathy sound, shared it between us. The smell of adrenaline and arousal seeped into the space between us, thick, foggy.

Fumbling around his pants was, probably, not very sexy, but neither of us cared about the article of clothing after pushing it down his hips. There wasn't much space to work with. We managed just fine, the brief moment of discomfort paying off with the delicious stretch of his cock inside me.

"Oh, fu-u-uck, so-o go-o-od," I was ready to pray to any God, as long as I could keep riding the tidal waves of pleasure.

"Yes, fuck me, Princess," Tony parroted the sentiment. His narrow hips stuttered, blunt rip of his cock brushing inside of me, hitting a sensitive spot. Sparks burst from within, urging me to move.

Bracing my knees on the outside of his thighs, I gripped Tony - his shoulders, his hair - for leverage. He loved the tug of war I played with his locks as evidenced by the immediate groan and the tightening of his hands on my ass. He squeezed the flesh without mercy, pulling, sheathing himself as deep as he could within me.

The grinding, the drag of my clit against the soft happy trail on his tummy did it for me. Uncharacteristically quickly, I was coming, arching my back and pushing my tits right into his face where the wet heat of his mouth sloppily, greedily made a trail of hickeys and left the tender flesh stinging in between whispering dirty praises.

Tony's girth felt that much thicker as my inner muscles spasmed. I began bouncing rapidly, chasing that fleeting feeling that turned me into an incoherent, babbling mess and made my spine feel liquid. The man under me matched the vigour, meeting me halfway, fucking up into me as much as the position allowed him to.

"Fuck, Tony, so big," The angle changed as I bent down to devour his mouth once again. The silky tresses between my fingers became a tangled mess.

One of his arms slid under my dress, holding it up and wrapping around me, pressing me close. Tony was getting under my skin. I felt the slick of him through his shirt. The faint glow and scratch of the arc reactor solidified the experience for me - it was so Tony, the most obvious part of him, perhaps, when he wasn't smiling.

His mouth was occupied with ravenously consuming every noise that left me. I was loud, always have been, and there wasn't a situation where it's been as blatantly on display as then - in a dark car, in the middle of nowhere. We shared those noises like a gourmet meal.

"Baby, baby girl," The tell-tale tightening of his abs was an obvious signal to his incoming orgasm. "Fu-u-uck". He seemed beyond words.

"Tony, please, I'm so close," I begged him to hold on, just a moment more, my own release a glimpse on the horizon. He moaned, deep and low in his chest and I felt it - right there, burying my face in the crook of his neck.

Suddenly, a sharp sting blossomed on my backside. My pace stuttered at the sudden pain; and the following thrill had me increase my pace, pussy squeezing around his cock, clutching at it in hopes of finding release. The need ached.

"Baby girl, come for me," Tony ordered, winded and stuttering, causing me to grip his shoulders, nails digging into taut, tan skin. I was nearly there, the fall approaching inevitably. How did the man manage to sound so cheeky whilst being ridden to near-death, I didn't know, but his next words had me muffling a scream into the pristine, expensive fabric of his blazer. "Come for Daddy."

I wasn't sure of the sound that I made while my body involuntarily obeyed his orders. I shuddered momentarily, following with another curl of my toes as I felt the hot seed of his release spill right into me, curses being muttered in my ear and his arms, his hands, him bodily holding himself as close to me as humanly possible. We stayed like that - maybe it was an hour, or maybe it was just five minutes. It felt heavenly.

"My jeans are FUBAR," Tony suddenly snorted.

"I think one of the straps on my dress is somewhere in the backseat," I parroted him. "Good times."

"Indeed," He stretched under me, gently, as to not dislodge me too much.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the driver's side window. A faint outline of a flashlight shining behind the glass - I was very much grateful for the fact that all the glass on Tony's car was tinted.

Of course, both of us were unprepared: startled, we jumped, spreading the mess from between my thighs all over the place. Groaning, I climbed over the console and rolled down the window a couple of inches, noting how Tony had one of his gauntlets shining - and a police officer's equally shiny badge greeted me. Grumbling, I rolled the window the whole way down.

"Ma'am, I'm going to have to ask your license and regi-whoa, um, I'm- good evening, Mr. Stark," The cop was young and very obviously hadn't slept very well. The words he mumbled on autopilot and stopped only when Tony's face popped up somewhere around my lap.

"Hello, officer," Tony smiled, bright and shiny public smile. "Don't mind us, just enjoying a quiet evening." The engineer's smile was cheeky. His pants weren't even done fully up and I, no doubt, spouted some serious case of sex hair, not mentioning the torn dress. I had to discreetly check if I didn't accidentally flash the poor cop.

"Uh, umm, sorry Mr. Stark," The cop - officer Charles, I checked - nervously stammered, obviously privy to the situation at hand. "Is everything alright here?"

"Absolutely. We were just about to leave."

"Well then. Uh. Can I ask - a picture?"

Really, dude? REALLY??? I was about this much away from just starting the car and driving the fuck off. But Tony was calm.

"Sure," He looked at me mischievously. "Let's swap, I'll drive us home."

His penchant for trouble knew no limits. I rolled my eyes, but it was just for show, really. The littlest worm of malicious compliance had already started squirming in me. My coat lay forgotten in the back seat - I proudly displayed the torn dress strap and the array of lovemarks leading up to my throat as I stepped out of the car. The crisp autumn air barely affected my sex-heated body outside of the warm car, doing only as much as to stiffen my nipples.

The way officer Charles did a double-take, I'm sure he understood my and Tony's previous activities and re-evaluated his own life choices. Let the boy learn a lesson. "Bye-bye, officer," I smiled my biggest, girliest smile and made a point at slowly turning around and sashaying to the other side of the car where Tony stood, discreetly checking his belt.

He met me with a smirk, chivalrously holding the door open and making a show at helping me into the car. We shared a muted chuckle.

"Ugh, I gotta go home, all my school shit is there," I rolled my eyes to the skies. Tony drove. AC/DC sung sultry tunes in the background quietly.

"Pack a bag, I'll wait," The engineer's warm hand found my own. He said what he said without even missing a beat. Such an unexplainable circumstance, all these new feelings I was feeling. It was a lot to process.

And I was cock-drunk. Packing my bag was an absolute ten minute disaster. I was pretty sure my socks didn't match and I had forgotten my make-up, but I triple checked for the most important - homework.

"I'm starving," I announced, hanging off Tony in the elevator. For all purposes, we were a perfectly poised domestic portrait. Disheveled, my coat and Tony's blazer loosely draped over my left arm, my backpack hanging off his right shoulder. He hadn't bothered with putting on his shoes and my neck, face and hair looked like a crime scene.

The elevator doors opened at the same time Tony gathered his wits: "Bye-bye officer? Really?"

A dozen confused eyes stared at us from the common room couch. Surprised for the second time that evening, all we were capable of was owlishly blink in their general direction, words dying before they could have made it to the surface.

I snorted first, towing Tony in the direction of the kitchen. "What was I supposed to do, pray tell? Flash him?"

Behind us, I heard a thud. Then Steve's voice cursing. Then Bucky's.

"You could've. If you wanted to," Tony mused. "You have great tits."

"Aw, thanks. You have a nice dick. It's got a great curve."

"Aren't you the nicest?" Tony kissed my cheek, hiding the upcoming laughter as we both heard more swearing and moaning coming from the living room.

"I need a broom," Bucky appeared in the doorway just as I was pulling out some pizza slices to reheat. The super-soldier made no move for the supply closet, however, instead openly staring at my state of dress. His face bore the tell-tale signs of a person trying to hold in their cackling.

"Did you see a ghost, Elsa?" Tony quirked from the coffee machine.

"Can I flash this one, then?" I suddenly had an Idea. And when I had an Idea, I was unstoppable. "He might not be an officer but technically he's a Sargent, so..."

"Okay," Bucky began to inch backwards, step by step in the direction of the living room, holding his hands up. "Y'all crazy. I'mma head out."

"Good call," Tony saluted Barnes' retreating back. "As for you? You're in so much trouble, Princess," The arm that wasn't occupied by a coffee cup wrapped itself around my waist, grip firm and unyielding. Blindly groping for a moment, it found my boob, squeezing it twice for good measure as Tony slurped his holy bean juice. "Mine."

"Yours," I agreed simply. Meaning it. Then, I leaned backwards to whisper into the shell of his ear with a snicker: "Daddy."

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[sastrugie]

john entwistle biography review

ok so first: I didnt really like the biography because I thought it would focus on totally different aspects. John was a musical virtuoso and that hardly ever gets mentioned in the book. But we get exact axccounts on how much money he spent on what day and in which pub he bought which champagne. like wow thanks. The other personal stuff is basic who knowledge you can read in any other Who biography. His autobiographical bits were joy and fun! Maybe the only reason to buy the book in my opinion. He writes totally different than the author...

ANYWAYS: here my fav facts from the book that you probably didnt know before

this is the face of a man who -when his father gave him driving lessons for his 21st birthday as a present- decided driving wasnt really his thing and he spent the money on clothes and parties instead. He never had a drivers license ever and also never desired to have one 

the hospital he was born in, was bombarded and destructed one day after his birth

as a child he was really weak and thin and had basically every disease that existed

his family was poor af

his father left the family early and held contact with his son, but soon disappeared with a new family

his stepdad, Gordon, disliked John alot and would ignore him, hated everything John did or said and he let his bad moods out on Johns mother, which caused John to be very silent and observative around the house so that there wouldnt be any trouble

he did everything to please Queenie (his mom) so that there was no fighting, according to Alison

loved drawing and playing but usually alone since he had no friends apart from their dog

he heard a trumpet solo once from a trad jazz band when he was 6 or so and decided he wanted to learn the trumpet

my fav line of the book probably: “despite his own expectations, he passed the exams to go to grammar school” like same

at school he was bullied from the older boys but soon left alone by them because he would fight back with badass comments 

he applied for the school band for the trumpet but the tallest guy in the year was chosen (he was the 2nd tallest)  which made John mad, but he discovered the french horn

soon he found a friend, mickey brown, at last and he gave him the nickname “ent”

he was so terrible in P.E that he was dismissed with other pupils to play somehwere else, they were called “the hockey misfits” and guess who was among them: Pete Townshend.

yeah as you might know they became besties because they loved music and black humour.

he found himself a gf (alison) and Pete & a school gang (like 4 ppl) and his life seemed to finally get where it should.

his worst subjects were geography and german like wow (im a german geography student lmao)

once they played in a pub and johns stepdad was there and was super angry and gave john a list with his fav pubs and told him “these are the places I never want to hear your fucking music playing”.

after walking home pete decided to switch the guitar and john wanted to become a musician more than ever

Roger found him and John kind of convinced him (it took months apparently) to get Pete into the band and then it all started

he judged the beatles because John Lennons harmonica was “out of tune” in love me do, wow ok you nerd

john started smoking with 20 and was the last one to quit his job for the band and he was against drugs at first (bc he had a “civilized” job) but then decided to give a shit, dyed his hair black, bought cigarettes, smoked dope with pete and did speed too

he wanted to step out of himself and feel good about himself and he was always a fashionnerd so he started buying and trading and selling clothes (he once was dismissed from school bc he wore the school uniform incorrectly)

with 18 or so he was still living at home, had a toy soldier collection and a pet budgie

pete and his college friends made fun of john bc he wasnt a student and still lived at home, although john could have gone to college too and he wanted to, but his stepdad again said no and he had no choice.

he was very awkward and introverted but could open up with his music 

he was really into pop art (esp pop art clothes)

was a pseudo mod bc he only liked the fancy clothes and motown music

with the who he found a purpose in his life and finally could be different than ordinary ppl

hated when people touched his hair, he literally hated it

would fuss much about his hair in general

once after a concert they were starving and the room service was alreday home so they had to look on used plates and food wagons and John found a shrimp and said: “who wants to dine with me tonight?” (idk that really made me laugh)

keith moon was john entwistles soulmate and they were the cutest, most iconic and funniest duo ever end of discussion

his amps would soon be called little manhatten bc he had so many bc he wanted to be loud

he actually went to sing at church once when he was like 24 and the band made fun of him then he stopped

in the late 60s he bought a house with alison in a normal neighbourhood and went walking the dogs on sundays and stuff

but he was a party animal and always the last to go

he was really sensitive and cried often according to Alison but only in front of certain people

he would totally step out of his way to please people

when they played at the monterey pop festival they didnt bring their own amps along and john was furious bc he said the american amps are shit and kit was like “no” and john didnt talk to him for the whole festival until their perfomance was over and they had sounded like shit to tell kit “I TOLD YOU SO” thats how extra he was

when he got money he would spend it bc he was so used to being poor that he thought it wouldnt last long and he had to enjoy it NOW

he was always calm and everyone respected him and kit told a story where he entered the room and roger was at keiths throat and and pete was screaming something and john was sitting in the corner cleaning his nails. thats who energy

liked to dance at parties

his fav drink was rémy cognac with 40% and he would drink like 1 bottle alone everyday in his later years...wow dude

he was also gentlemanTM and once paid taxis for girls from london to brighton after a party

once at a wedding the free drinks were out and John just gave the barkeeper his creditcard and said he will pay for all the drinks of the night for everyone (it wasnt his wedding)

Roger once said: “John made smartass comments that deserved a punch in the face” sounds like him yes

he didnt really care about money and always wanted to pay and never told anyone how much things had cost and brought gifts for everyone

soon that ended in a shopping addiction tho and he bought ridiculous things for ridiculous amounts of money

when the who was inactive he sank into depression :(

held the band together during who by numbers & who are you

wrote and played all the quadrophenia horn parts himself

never lost his passion for art and always drawed alot, said Alison

cried when Christopher was born aww

once he saw their manager in an art museum and how he wanted to buy a painting but couldnt afford it, so John bought it secretly and shipped it to said managers home as a gift

We all know John was a huge collector. His most treasured collection was .. wait for it: teapots.

he tried to save Keith from being arrested once and ended up being arrested too lol

wanted to write a scifi concept album but desorted the idea and gave some songs to the who (905) or Pete

was a good cook apparently

When he gave a hug HE was the one who decided when to let go sdfghjk

hated confrontation and would hire other people to tell someone bad news

he spent so much money on dumb shit like wtf

but didnt really care either

probably the master in picking up and seducing girls

he let his stepdad live in the quarwood mansion when he wasnt there but Gordon was still an asshole wtf

the contact to his real dad was really sporadic

when the who ended, it hit him really hard and he didnt know what to do besides partying and buying stuff/hording stuff

was very insecure and selfconscious in the 80s according to Maxene :(

he actually took pete breaking up the who really personal and was sad 24/7

was that kind of guy that said bad stuff about the who but when you said bad stuff he would try to kill you on spot

with cocaine he felt really confident and still like the 60s/70s rockstar he once was but he didnt understand that these times were over and he needed to move on

sometimes went into random pubs with friends and made jam sessions for the guests

he still was generous and loving until he died and tried to play with other bands but it was not the same

he really liked Kenney and hung out with him more than with his wife at some point lmao

was a total giver and people who worked at quarwood would steal money from him but when someone pointed that out he got angry with that person for even suggesting that

was a real softieee (and a huge nerd)

all his friends said that he was shy at first but once you got to know him he would come totally out of himself, was very funny, loved to tell stories, was very very loyal and would try evertyhing to make you laugh aww

all in all a glorious story with a sad ending and he did destroy himself completely, but lets remember that Pete Townshend described old John still as "wonderful, mature and elegant” so lets cling on to that :)