#he was one of the funniest mf from season 1

[cptn-jtk]

good omens fans: "the gays are winning!"

the gays:

[bloodgulchblog]

Alright fuck it, s2e1 liveblog.

I'm watching this with people later so the goal is just to get through it enough to sate my impatience, so I'm back to ye olde standby of watching it at high speed with subtitles on. (...Only I guess I'm gonna be slowed down by making comments, huh?)

Spoilers and uncharitable opinions and unfunny jokes will follow.

Not going to talk about stuff in the episode opener until it comes back bc there's not enough to say anything about.

5 minutes in and we're already doing whatever this is huh?

6:30 - Alright okay, fuck, Vannak took his spine pellet out and gets to have one (1) personality trait and it's animal facts and I kind of don't hate that. TV Chief is very unlikable but characters like Kai and Vannak playing the angle of having very youthful quirks bc having emotions is new is cute.

~10:00 - I have nothing to say yet about spooky shapes in the fog but I think this shot of Chief back to back with a marine is fun. Also I wonder if Corporal Perez (this character) will still matter 5 minutes from now.

Also looks like the foggy sword fight from the trailer is here, too difficult to get any kind of cap that doesn't suck out loud. I'm thinking about how I heard someone making a big deal about how Season 2 feels "less like a video game" (whatever that means), meanwhile "fog full of stealth sword guys trying to kill you" feels very very video game level.

~13:00 - Man, and I really thought that sword fighting stuff in the trailer was a solid indicator they were dragging Thel 'Vadamee into this mess. Hey guys look, Arbiter's in this season. 4,000 of him!

Additionally, if a bunch of people decide this is a ship the fandom owes me twenty dollars.

~15:00 - Congrats to Perez for surviving five minutes. Also, we're still doing whatever this is:

16 minutes in we finally get the show's opener. (It has the Halo in it now, I don't think it was there before but let's be perfectly honest it's not like I cared a lot.)

~17:30 or something, reminded once again that a lot of people are attracted to this actor

Also guess what, Keyes is an Admiral now I guess????

Do we think he still gets to get eaten by the Flood eventually? Do we think the Flood will even be in here? Place ur bets at the counter.

Anyway, they're basically diving into a big timeskip here where a bunch of planets have been glassed since last season (including Madrigal). This whole AU is weird to the bone in terms of how its timeline is shaking out.

Anyway anyway, aww here we go

"I'm not here to replace Dr Halsey, I'm here because I believe in you!"

Ohhhhh he knows all the Spartans' names already, ohhhhh they want the audience to like this mf so bad, they want it to be such a tweest that he sucks shit-

Moving right along, at 22:30 we have the Rubble having a crowd decide whether various refugees should be spaced or taken into indentured servitude, because of course we do.

tl;dw the nebbish redhead knows where Catherine Halsey is and there's a big bounty out for her and he's trying to use it as a bargaining chip to not die and everyone thinks that's very funny, also Soren is here. I guarantee he decides to go after her, but first we have to have a scene cut back to whatever TV Chief is doing.

Man I'm really noticing they haven't shown the weird ridged rubber tech suit yet this episode, I wonder if they decided to replace it.

Anyway here's Perez, I still think they want people to start shipping:

Then Jimmy Rings has a meeting with tv show's new guy they want you to like so bad.

Also he says "The O-N-I" like a complete tool. (This is how you know he sucks.)

And while I'm talking trash about him: Ackerson stop flirting, didn't they tell you nobody's allowed to be gay in Halo? Get your shit together.

Thus ends the dream of the funniest possible universe where we just had Cortana: The Show forever. Someone get the penny whistle. My heart will not go on. 😢

Fuck, I was doing timestamps, right? I'm like half an hour in.

THEY STILL WANT YOU TO THINK ACKERSON CARES, BY THE WAY, IN CASE YOU DID NOT NOTICE

They're laying this on so thick so fast there's no way he's not a shitweasel in this AU, but also that would be the funniest possible thing to me.

(If anyone ships this, the fandom owes me forty dollars and therapy.)

ANYWAY... Action figure time. (Remember to boycott Jazwares!)

Soren's kid is playing with a MASTER CHIEF ACTION FIGURE and being weird, meanwhile Soren's wife is calling him out on shit and reminding him that refugees being turned away is, you know, bad.

Congrats to Soren's wife for continuing to be the most unexpectedly sympathetic supporting character I guess, but they made Soren so unlikable off the 1st season it's hard for me to feel investment of any kind here.

35 minutes in: the Spartans are watching a space TV broadcast. They have Ca-ADMIRAL. Admiral. Admiral Keyes presenting the Colonial Cross to Corporal Perez for blah blah blah you saw the start of the episode. The shape of the ceremony and the hovering tv drone thing are obvious H2 references.

(Does this mean Perez is our Sergeant Johnson now? Vote with your phones.)

Get your face out of here, Ackerson, I know what you are.

Oh god there's another team of Spartans (Cobalt) and having adult Spartan-IIs call each other names like children is fucking weird.

Aaaaand tumblr is capping the number of images I can post here and I'm still only about half way done. Fuck. I am not doing this this way for Episode 2 I can promise you that.

(Also hey look the tech suit is back, I guess Silver Team doesn't use it so much anymore to show you they're more human now or whatever?)

[pinkdinkydoon]

south park rambles n talk below ⬇️

I've been thinking about the boys' dynamics a lil bit and I wanted go dump my interpretations + what I think are like. The main friendships/sillies.

Best Friends.??

1. Kyle & Eric : fight me on this I don't care. I genuinly think, they're somewhat ONLY A LIL BIT closer than stan and kyle. As of recent seasons that is, Stan and kyle have NOT been hanging out.. and I think they're dynamic is very "I hate you so so so much. You wanna sleep over this weekend?" "I hate you too, yeah sure."

2. Butters & Kenny: boy/girl meets another boy/girl. They bond. Boy/girl friendship

3. Tolkien & Stan: they are nerds.... together. They both dated wendy once. They're both massive dorks. Need I say more?

4. Wendy & Eric : I just know these mfs text each other drama between the boys and the girls. Wendys got Eric in as 📚🗡Cartman. Eric has in as 🥊🎀Wendyll

5. Jimmy and everyone : I love how everyone is with Jimmy. They know he's the funniest GUY there, I DONT SEE NO ONE HATING ON JIMMY AND I LOVE TO SEE IT.

ermmm uhh. Hot takes below

- I don't like style. I think they're just friends 👍

- I think. Stan also should've apologized in the covid special. He is not exempt from burning down the farm. Randy should've done a better apology, yes. But stan didn't even Apologize and I thing he shouldve.

- eric deserves to not he doomed by the narrative, let him attempt to change cause he's tried on multiple occasions THWY JUST WONT LET HIM

- vic chaos solos design wise and charactwr wise in PC 👍👍👍👍

Here's some doodles I'm never gonna post or outline. But kyle n cartman

[kiisaes]

seeing the "bakugou literally hates deku and will always hate deku, also he can never be forgiven from what he did in season 1" argument in the year 2021 and in the context of literally everything that has happened within the series is the funniest thing ever

"bakugou will always hate deku" when bakugou canonically

sees deku as a worthy rival (on the same level as/possibly higher than todoroki) and since UA, has never particularly considered deku to be weak

has been watching deku since the very beginning. he also pays very close attention to deku's moves when they fight

is the first student outside of deku to know about one for all and promised not to tell anyone about the secret, when he easily could if he really hated deku that much

actively helps deku with his training and figuring out more about the OFA holders

is capable of holding a normal conversation with deku now and is considerably more understanding, even after their awful history

has only genuinely broken down emotionally in front of deku, and has only been moderately comfortable with deku (and all might) seeing him as weak. as far as I'm aware, no other student has seen him cry before

is willing to die for deku. he is willing to lose everything - his quirk, his privileged life, his future - for deku

cares about deku and wants to keep him safe/alive because "something about him makes [bakugou] want to keep him at arm's length" (284)

doesn't seem to mind at all when deku, someone he supposedly "hates", calls him kacchan, an endearing, innocent childhood nickname even though they are both 16 and training to be mf heroes

loves deku platonically thanks to all the recent chapters, even if his own dumbass brain hasn't caught up to that yet. argue with the wall lmao

"bakugou can never be forgiven from what he did in season 1" when bakugou canonically

addressed that the shit he did to deku was terrible. he's taking full accountability for his past actions, which is something lots of kids his age IN REAL LIFE can't do yet. if you're gonna judge a fictional character by irl morals and ethics, at least be aware that plenty of bratty irl 16 year olds don't take the full blame when they fuck up because they're under the mindset that they're young and can afford to make big mistakes.

is actively trying to atone, and has probably been trying to do that since as early as deku vs kacchan part 2, which is fully animated in s3 and has been out for years now

doesn't want to take the easy way out of his wrongdoings (aka just asking for forgiveness and moving on). he told all might that he wants to atone, not deku. he wants to prove to deku that he's changing without deku automatically forgiving him

"bakugou literally told deku to k*ll himself"

yeah, when he was 14. lol. I know that doesn't excuse something as extreme as a death threat but have you MET middle schoolers? I've had my fair share of shitty bully experiences throughout my adolescence and now that I'm older, I recognize that they were young themselves and have probably been going through their own troubles. still doesn't excuse it, but just take his fucking age and his background into account. he's also trying to atone for that shit so what else do u fucking need from this 16 year old trauma magnet lmfao

in CHAPTER/EPISODE 1 OF THE WHOLE SERIES??? dawg that was YEARS ago. we are completely past that, keep up!

it's heavily implied that this comment was super out of nowhere, and nothing like what bakugou usually says to deku. his friends said that was really out of line. bakugou was probably also aware of how harsh it was. it's further shown in the small heroes rising promo manga, "deku and bakugou rising" (I think that's the name), that bakugou typically ignored deku and let him do his own thing, with only a couple mild verbal jabs here and there (the insults aren't even special to bakugou - deku was quirkless, meaning that he was getting teased by literally everyone in the messed up quirk society)

deku didn't take this comment to heart and canonically cared more about BAKUGOU'S reputation after saying something so insensitive. he never once thought about actually "taking a swan dive". he may have low self esteem but he's not THAT swayed by outside opinion. in fact, he's really fucking stubborn and nobody has phased him from his hero dream except all might, his literal childhood idol, in the second chapter/episode. and even that lasted for like 5 minutes lol

people are allowed to grow and change into better people, janica. that's called character development. it's called growth in the real world.

like shit dude you don't have to romantically ship bakudeku - hell you don't even have to like them as a duo - but at least acknowledge that horikoshi is putting bakugou through a real character arc. I promise you, the current bakugou/deku dynamic is much more appealing than your season 1 echo chamber. we've moved on from the "bakugou and deku can never be on good terms" boat. we passed that ages ago LMAO

[inabottlelikelightning]

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags :)

got tagged in this a While ago (@grenadinepeach thank u <3 <3 <3) and i thought i’d give it a shot since i’ve been in Quite a few fandoms

rules: show us your ten favorite characters from ten fandoms and then tag ten people to do the same.

1. theo raeken — teen wolf

yeah this can’t be a surprise to anyone. this man somehow inspired me enough to actually Start Writing. absolutely wild. love him to death. bamf dumbass. also it doesn’t hurt that he looks Like That.

honorable mentions: allison, lydia, kira. (sorry liam)

2. steve rogers — marvel

some of you may not know this about me but i was into marvel for Quite Some Time. i have to say 💓💗💖💞💝💘💕steve rogers 💞💓💗💖💕 in both the mcu and 616. and, like. avengers assemble. there is just something so.. [chefs kiss] about someone who has suffered So Much and still strives to just be a really good fucking person. i could write a whole essay on this mf. i love him a lot

honorable mentions: peter parker (SUCH a close second, not mcu because Yikes but aaaa 616 peter my beloved), peggy carter, miles morales, natasha romanoff

3. arthur ?????

i have seen inception an unspeakable amount of times and the most interesting thing is the Crumbs of information we have about all of the characters. he’s resourceful, he’s competent, he’s a great dresser. 10/10 don’t know anyone else who could take down a hotel full of men in a three piece suit with spontaneous changes in gravity. like godDAMN that’s attractive.

honorable mentions: i mean. there are only 7 total characters so, like.. eames i guess??

4. minerva mcgonagall — harry potter

oh MAN she was the Original bamf. screamed every time she came onscreen/on the page because i knew shit was about to go down. the only unproblematic character, and the only one fandom hasn’t absolutely Ruined. an accidental gem in the series, there’s no way joanne knew what she was doing here

honorable mentions: luna lovegood, neville longbottom, remus lupin

5. magnus bane — shadowhunters (TV)

okay so i just watched this series and good GOD it was so much better than the books. i felt like in the books magnus was always sidelined but the show really let him shine in all his warlock glory. absurdly powerful + very nice blazers + kickass eyeliner + amazing jewelry + cat dad + disgustingly kind + adopts various individuals as children as he goes through life because 💖💕💓💗found family💕💓💗💘. bisexual poc king. fucking love him, 17,000 exes and all.

honorable mentions: alec lightwood, izzy lightwood, raphael santiago

6. jared dunn — silicon valley

if you haven’t watched this show i would actually recommend it. it’s impressive. but jared is, by far, one of the FUNNIEST characters i have ever experienced in my whole life. the only reason he isn’t #1 on this list is because i feel a duty to everyone ^^ up there, but jared is. GOD. physical depiction of “perfectly pleasant and put together until he goes APESHIT”

honorable mentions: gilfoyle, bighead

7. crowley — good omens

true chaotic neutral at its finest. a bastard of a man, who Tries To Be Good Anyways. sad and pining. mortals believe he’s mafia, which is fucking hysterical to me. SINCE I STARTED THIS I FOUND OUT WE ARE GETTING A GOOD OMENS S2???? RISE TF UP

honorable mentions: aziraphale, anathema device

8. mazikeen — lucifer

she’s just.. uhhhh. she’s SO…… G O D. no words except that she’s the only reason i got through the 2nd season. so happy that she finally got a gf ❤️ she absolutely deserves it

honorable mentions: ella, trixie

9. toph beifong — avatar

absolute fucking legend. blind and kicked ass 24/7. this is my daughter and i love her very much. also apparently i’m an earthbender???? not too sure abt that one tho

honorable mentions: sokka, katara

10. alaric saltzman — the vampire diaries

okay couldn’t put a gif for this one bc of the tumblr limit but vampire hunter sticks around and acquires a vampire bro and a vampire daughter and trains a vampire hunter son and then acquires a vampire coparent to his 2 biological witch daughters… fantastic trope. i feel bad for him because his wives keep dying but he was a GIFT in the vampire diaries, no one did it like him

honorable mentions: bonnie bennett

tags: @attempted--eloquence @frustrateddumbbar @thecenturiestrickle @rohesiawrites @ttp5000 @cordelia---rose @songbvrd @li0nh34rt @edge0fmydesiree @lucilucialu

[faerielleart]

do you think that levihan comes off as rather one sided? a lot of antis say that hange cares so much but levi doesn’t care as much they do :(( i hate this because it never seemed to me that way but now a lot of people are saying this

it’s the funniest thing when i see these takes because honestly? i blame it all on studio wit and their amazing flanderization of these two poor characters in the anime and the several shippy manga scenes they decided not to adapt. if we wanna call things “one-sided” then it’s the other way around, levi has imho shown repeatedly in the manga and literally IN ALL THE EXTRA MATERIAL signs that could be taken as him having feelings for hanji, whereas from hanji’s side we can really only start noticing “obvious” signs starting from chapter 115. i recall seriously thinking levi might be interested in hanji as early as 2014 when i was a 13 year old like many many many others and tbh looking back i think we were all right after all considering things from the perspective of the most recent chapters. it’s like everything just falls into place after chapter 126-132 and you’re able to “over-analyze” certain scenes from past chapters a bit better, like the season 1 hairgrab requested by yams, like levi being worried and angry out of his mind in uprising when hanji gets shot, like the whole rain smartpass story, like yams giving hanji the role of levi’s only interpreter, like levi being worried for hanji in rts almost to the point of getting hit by rocks + screaming hanji’s name in relief on the rooftop, like levi staring at hanji and worrying about the poisonous water when he has the mf vastity of the ocean in front of him who lived in the underground all his life, and don’t get me started on the side materials like chuugakkou (which, as much as it is an au, retains canon character interactions) which heavily hint at shippy shit, character interviews, hell even video games. as much as they aren’t strictly canon, in a way they end up being such. extra materials wouldn’t seriously imply shit too much outside canon, they still have to retain the integrity of the original story.

but yeah, imho there’s wit flanderization to blame. they made hanji to be comic relief with no serious moments and especially butchered levi’s ova and their first meeting, plus made levi an overly cool edgelord with no facial expressions, taking out scenes for examples from the uprising where he tenderly looks at the mother with her baby and things like that, bc god forbid the stereotypical sasuke-archetype ever so present in every shonen is allowed to have feelings and scenes that don’t involve him spinning and using sharp blades. which is why anime-onlies will probably be confused when part 2 rolls around and we get all those lh moments animated one after the other. unless you are a manga reader, and not a speedreader but someone who actually takes the time to unbiasedly understand the characters, you probably will miss their bond considering the adaptation that took out almost all their moments.

in short, the answer to these people is “read the mf manga. If you read the mf manga, if you really wanna nitpick and decontextualize shit for the sake of dragging a ship, at least be true to the source material and see that it’s the other way around and technically levi is the simp out of the two” lmao but yeah jokes aside, ignore these mfs and LOOK AT THE CUTE OCEAN OFFICIAL ART

thank you for the question anon!

[minnesotabysamia]

rank the episodes of succession go

thank you so much for this ask .... I have many thoughts let's get into this!

(I must clarify that I think almost very episode of season 2 is better than all of season 1. but they're kind of mixed here accounting for how season 1 of anything is usually rough and also this is based on how fun it is to watch too)

20. celebration (1.01) — literally nothing to say.... baseball scene bad. greg vomiting scene Awful. only redeeming bit is kendall breaking down in the bathroom.

19. lifeboats (1.03) — pretty forgettable also features the show's singular sex scene .. did not ask. I don't like the marcia/shiv animosity they set up here

18. sad sack wasp trap (1.04) — also forgettable but doesn't have the kendall rava sex scene and Does have roman making grace give her number to the waiter and getting her off with the phone when he calls. insane

17. shit show at the fuck factory (1.02) — a solid, nicely joke-dense episode. nothing actively bad about it

16. vaulter (2.02) — I'm sure this one should be higher but idk nothing about it stands out as particularly interesting or fun

15. return (2.07) — idk what to say about this one?

14. dundee (2.08) — not a standout but but it's got L to the OG

13. which side are you on? (1.06) —tom & greg dinner scene! cajun chicken linguini! stressful & engaging but I'm not ranking it higher because kendall's plot is boring until the vote actually happens

12. argestes (2.06) — this episode has some of the best moments but I really don't think it's that pleasing to watch it doesn't flow like the others

11. pre-nuptial (1.09) — fun but not much happening. I do however enjoy roman proposing to tabitha because his mom told him to .. a classic

10. I went to market (1.05) — loveeee this episode for no particular reason. it's my favorite but not the best one so it stays down here on the ranking.

9. the summer palace (2.01) — I wish there was room higher up 9 feels too low this episode is amazing especially for a season opener

8. prague (1.08) — so many good jokes it's definitely the funniest episode. I feel like connor saying "I've been on eastern european time for 48 hours" doesn't get enough recognition. greg you total coke whore!

7. safe room (2.04) — another of my favorites but it's not deviating from the form in any way it's just a really good example of what it is. a quintessential succession episode.

6. nobody is ever missing (1.10) — really great in every way. each of the siblings failing in their own way + using these failings to escalate (or maybe sink deeper) until it all goes to shit. funny enough.

5. tern haven (2.05) — though I enjoy it a bit less I think this is better than safe room because it's where everything set up in episode 4 actually happens. a big turning point for the season and one of the best uses of the roys being off of their home turf or whatever the expression is

4. austerlitz (1.07) — this is really when I think the show opens up a little more in that a) they finally leave new york b) better flow between jokes and plot. family therapy!

3. DC (2.09) — this is succession at its most satirical and it hits! every plot is interesting and meaningful I appreciate how they cut the fat here

2. this is not for tears (2.10) — THIS IS NOT FOR MF TEARS!

1. hunting (2.03) — I think everyone knows this is the best episode. like what can I say

this has been my succession rankings please share if you have thoughts on any of these thank you!

[chcrrysprite]

10 fandoms, 10 characters, 10 tags :)

rules: show us your ten favorite characters from ten fandoms and then tag ten people to do the same.

i was tagged by @manonisamelon :) thank you!! i love to do these because it means i get to be extra and slap a filter on some screencaps. and also be opinionated. i was going to do this earlier on mobile, but tumblr started running Super slow and then didn’t save my draft, so here’s take two!

the movies / tv shows aren’t in any particular order, and some of them are kind of random...i evidently don’t watch that many things, so it took me a while to come up with ten LMAO. feel free to give your opinion about my favs in the replies...i’m interested to see if we have any in common or really don’t.

1.) theo raeken - teen wolf i think we all knew this one was going to be first. love u <3 alternate: liam or hayden, probably :) 

2.) layla keating - all american i don’t even watch all american anymore because of the way the writers and the fanbase treats her :,( unproblematic but still for whatever reason controversial fav. no one could ever get me to hate her. argue with the wall  alternate: asher 

3.) jane villanueva - jane the virgin i’ve been re-watching jane the virgin for the third time and i think she’s the only one who i’ve Never had any problems with liking. so sweet and motivated, and even though she’s made some bad decisions (coughcough love triangle coughcough), idc what anybody says, she’s a good mom who does not deserve slander ! alternate: rafael 

4.) john murphy - the 100 the 100 was genuinely a terrible show in all honesty, but he + emori made it worth watching through till the end...kind of. he’s the second murdery mf with childhood trauma on this list, but he stopped trying to kill people, so he’s good now :) alternate: emori (let me into ur relationship pls)

5.) alexis rose - schitt’s creek i just think that she was one of the funniest and i love her <3 she literally always had good love interests too. every single relationship was interesting. wish she would’ve gotten her endgame but i like to think she’s doing big things on her own :) alternate: stevie, patrick, david

6.) adam groff - sex education some of you are going to Hate me for this one but like,,, season two was His. love his development and everybody on here knows i’m a slut for redemption arcs so this shouldn’t be a surprise. alternate: eric, maeve, jackson

7.) nick miller - new girl absolute disaster of a man. keeps all of his overdue bills and unfiled paperwork in a shoebox in his closet. in So Much Debt. but he writes books and respects women and i fuckin love him alternate: winston, cece

8.) poe dameron - star wars sequel trilogy hhhhhh. i know that i loved his leadership skills and personality when i was watching the movies, but also i can’t recall anything he actually Did at the moment because i’m too busy looking at him. like. god. not to be horny on main or anything, but.... Whew Sir

9.) lupe - plan b (2021) plan b doesn’t really have a fandom and i’m biased because *victoria moroles* but pls,,, i love her so much. my favorite line of the whole movie came from her - “glad to know you spend your free time thinking about what my pussy looks like, megan” - and i’ve watched the movie twice and cried Both Times at the ending scene with her dad. once again, not to be horny on main, but there is literally No way to deny i like girls too after this movie LMFAOOO alternate: sunny! she and lupe are pretty much equal here, but i’ll take any excuse to talk about victoria, lupe, or hayden hdbfjs

10.) neil perry - dead poets society </3 </3 </3 help me alternate: todd or charlie

okay!! tags!! obviously you don’t have to do the whole thing with the pictures and explanations, i just like to waste my own time </3

@inabottlelikelightning @thecenturiestrickle @frustrateddumbbar @li0nh34rt @curlsinthewind @rosesraeken @idk-ilike5sos @theowhy @edge0fmydesiree @thiamficrecs​ :)

once again...very much inviting conversation in the notes :)

[effervescentslut]

how you meet | fred and george weasley

Requested: Yes

Content Warnings: None tbh... well, a lot of Ron degradation dslnfjfgnkjsfnskdjdnkjsf all jokes, though... 

A/N: Woop woop we’re diving into the Harry Potter universe!! Sorry this took a bit to put together, I’ve been in a slump recently. I hope you enjoy! Friendly reminder that requests are open!!

Gryffindor!Reader

you became friends with ron in first year after he accidentally walked in on you changing into your robes on the train fkjcnxnjasndkjwefenkwrj

“blimey, i’m so sorry--”

you wanted to die tbh

but his quirkiness charmed you so you stuck with him for the rest of the train ride

even though his nose was dirty HA

you were tired of boarding with isobel macdougal, she was a nutcase

after following ron back to his compartment, you were acquainted with harry

they were pretty chill; apparently harry was some wizzy legend but you could not care less

you wanted to get off the mf hogwarts express™ your motion sickness was going berserk

ron seemed comfortable with the idea of attending hogwarts; he rambled about his older brothers nonstop who also went to school there

meanwhile you and harry were nervously looking at each other like

later that evening you get sorted into gryffindor ayyyy RAWR!!!!!

you met hermione after you both reached for the yorkshire pudding at the feast and she snatched her hand away from yours and blushed bc she accidentally touched you swenkdqknanjadnjwejfknw LMFAO POOR SHY GIRL

fred and george made a point to introduce themselves to ron’s new buds, much to his dismay, before everyone split off at the gryffindor tower

settling into school was pretty easy

you already had a great group of mates to hang around, they brought out the best in you

one day you’re walking to potions class with ron, harry, and hermione

you’re about to take a test hhhhhhhhhh nothing is more intimidating than being a gryffindor in the same room as professor snape

ron has been anxiously complaining about it to you guys and his brothers for weeks

“merlin, y/n, how am i supposed to know that eel eyes and frog eyes make the bulgeye potion? we’re only first years!”

hermione butts in, “actually ron, it’s eel eyes and beetle eyes--”

“shut it, hermione!” 

the twins™ pop in, making sure they catch ron before his impending doom

“maybe you should listen to her ron”

“yeah ron, you wouldn’t want mum to find out you failed your first potions test--”

“--when the potion only has two ingredients!”

ron’s cheeks and ears are flaming red ohhhh boy

fred and george turn around

“good luck to you, harry” *they shake his hands*

“good luck to you, y/n” *they shake your hands*

“good luck to you, herm-- ah, who are we kidding, she doesn’t need luck”

they turn back to ron

“good luck you especially, ronald”

“yeah, your life depends on it!”

they ruffle his hair and run off

you giggle at them and ron is  f u m i n g

you watch them scamper away and fondly admire them :’)

ron straightens his hair and says, “that was bloody embarrassing” 

“to be fair, what they said was true, ron” you reluctantly chime in

“oh, shove off, y/n”

... ron ended up flunking the test

after potions the next day, fred and george are RELENTLESS at dinner

you know those people who say virtually anything and you laugh like it’s the funniest thing to have ever been spoken? it’s me, i’m y/n. gemini tingzzzz

to you, that’s fred and george

they immediately learn this when you’re trying your damndest to not choke on your lamb chops while laughing

... and simultaneously trying to not laugh at ron because he’s your friend

but boy are his brothers funny

the twins feed off of your reactions and continue to brutally torment their younger brother

to the point where you ACTUALLY choke on your food and have to excuse yourself to the bathroom, still coughing and wheezing during your laughing fit

harry tries to not laugh with (and at) you

hermione is like.... uhh wtf just happened can i eat my treacle tarts in peace please??

ron is clearly annoyed by the entire situation

fred and george are smirking and ease up on their teasing because your reaction was better than anything ron could have mustered up

after that night, fred and george’s sole purpose for teasing ron around you was to gauge your reaction

scratch that

any time you were with the twins, they just HAD to get you to laugh at least once

ron was getting  f e d  u p

“honestly, y/n, they’re not even that funny!”

you roll your eyes

every time you were with ron you secretly hoped fred and george would show up xcndjksdnjkewnrwkjfna

the twins never teased you though bc they have a soft spot for you

cheering for harry, fred, and george at gryffindor quidditch matches!!

siding with the twins when they argue with ron about quidditch stuff

soon you become actual friends with fred and george

meeting a bunch of their friends from their year so now you have a bunch of upperclassmen mates i was the same exact way i would just be a groupie among my older peers hahahah

they’d help you pass cheat in any class you’re in

you’re their biggest supporter

just say the word and they’d do ANYTHING for their new “adoptive” sister

“maybe we should swap you out for y/n, ron”

percy knows to keep away from you because he’s afraid the twins are tainting you dncwdjkfnkwjefnkjew but he still keeps an eye out, ya know?

molly CAN NOT wait to meet you

she sends you an owl one day and makes you promise to keep fred and george in line... oh, and ron too LMFAOO

Non-Gryffindor!Reader

let’s face it

gryffindor or not...

no matter what year you’re in...

everyone knows who fred and george weasley are

you’re the same year as the weasley twins and they had already built up quite a reputation for themselves...

AS SECOND-YEARS!!

there had been so much gossip about these prankster twins floating through the corridors the past two years

even the professors had begun to complain LMAO

“those weasley boys are nothing like percy!”

“poor minerva must have her hands full with those rambunctious twins!!”

and sure, you’d had the occasional inter-house class with them, but hardly ever interacted with them

to be fair, they are a bit overwhelming to be around

anyways

it was quidditch season!!

and you hade made the chaser position for your house’s team!

so one day your team is playing against another (non-gryffindor) team

and like... you’re good

BLOODY GOOD

you score quite a couple goals and the seeker even catches the snitch! (as if you needed the snitch to win the game liiiiike you really carried your team)

fred and george are supporting your team because 1. they know good quidditch when they see it and 2. you’re definitely the mvp

the unspoken mvp of your team

and they’re scared for gryffindor’s match against your house fkjsfnkjrnrkfw

because they’re beaters

and the opposing team’s beaters were allegedly good uh oh

how tf are they gonna juke you out??

anyways

after the match you’re celebrating with your team

you bid them goodbye and head back to your common room so you can finish your paper for history of magic

when a pair of identical, red-haired, gryffindor boys take you by surprise and pop up out of nowhere

your grip on your quidditch bag slips and you drop your bag

you sigh, “can i help you?”

“brilliant work out there today!”

“sorry about your bag”

george hands you your duffel

your eyes narrow as you grab it, your focus flitting to fred and then george

“listen, binns is gonna have your heads if you don’t write two separate papers this time--” 

“we don’t want to talk to you about class right now...”

“...we’re here to beg for your mercy on us when you play gryffindor in a few months”

you snort and push past them, “if you two stop pestering me in fourth hour, then i’ll consider it”

you spin around on your heels, “and i have a name, you know!!”

“we know your name, y/n!” 

“we know who EVERYONE is!”

“go write your papers!!”

[asaeria]

The Red Flags in my Past Relationship

I think my relationship with my first ex is probably the funniest. I reread my diary and god was I so stupid. There were so many red flags that got ignored due to me being blinded by love. It was so toxic and bad for me and yet I took all of the shit. SIGH.

It all started when I got into high school. I noticed him walking down the halls (he was in grade 11 at the time) and I was smitten with him. I've had crushes before, my first one lasted 7 years, so I was used to imagining myself in situations with my crush that were wayyy over romanticized. Just as dramatic and cringey as the Twilight saga. So I pretty much "stalk" him for my grade 9 year. Stalk as in notice him in the halls and I'd stare at him till he was gone from view. I think I started talking to him in grade 10 when I joined a musical ensemble that he was in. And this is where it started.

I was given my first red flag before we even began dating...

Flag #1. We had our "first" date at his house during school hours, so yeah I had to skip class for this. We watched a scary movie and the entire time he asked if I needed comfort, which the shy lil' me at the time kept declining. But I mean, what guy would ask a girl over to watch a scary movie with him if he intend for it to be a date..? So almost 5 months past (Oct - Feb) and nothing really happens between us. At our school for Valentines Day you can choose to buy a rose (or roses) for people which get delivered on the day of Valentines Day. I obviously bought one for him. I ended up finding out he bought a rose for another girl who only walked with him during a fashion show in school. They knew each other as much as he and I knew each other so when I found out he did that I was devastated. He must've not seen me as worthy of being chased by him if he's gonna drop me after our first date and go after another girl, right? AND YET I STILL confessed my love to him in April. Ironically he gave me a rose when he responded to my confession. LOL I learned that if your dude can jump from girl to girl that quickly just avoid him entirely.

Flag #2. A month after we started dating I already had insecurities. This was also the month he made his first major move towards me, a kiss. And around 3-5 months in he had already fingered me. I was 15-16 at the time as well. I never had a relationship before so I didn't know that there were boundaries I had to set up. I didn't think that him touching me in such places meant he was taking advantage of me because I was so blinded by my dumb love for him. I didn't say no to anything because I was naive and thought that he's only doing these things because he loved me too. I found out a year after our relationship started that he only started "liking" me 6 months into our relationship. Which meant he kissed and touched me inappropriately before he even liked me back. I started to feel disgusted at my OWN body and that is NOT okay. If you don't feel ready to have sex, let alone being touched inappropriately do not be afraid to say NO!

Flag #3. So around January (9-10 months after the relationship started) he told me his dad used all the internet for the month or something so I won't be able to reach him through Facebook or any other social media for at least 3 days. He also bought the new 3DS and the new Monster Hunter game around the time his internet ran out too. The 3 days past and I missed him terribly and I figured he probably missed me as much as I missed him. He invites me to play Terraria with him and not even 5 minutes into it he leaves me for his 3DS. You see, I started playing Terraria with him because I wanted us to have some sort of game we can play together. This was our "couple game" sort of. I waited 10-20 minutes for him to finish so that we could play together but he ends up ending our call to eat dinner. I figured, ok he will probs play with me after dinner. The moment he comes back he says "sorry in a fight LOL" which I guess he meant a fight in Monster Hunter, "glhf (good luck have fun) in terraria." So I logged out of Terraria, why would I play a game you invited me to by myself? He notices this 10 minutes later and says "o guess you're not playing." are you mf serious? I told him "uhm cuz it's not fun playing alone??" which he replied with "ok maybe later then LOL" <- this was at 9:30 pm. That was around the time I would be sleeping. He knew I slept early too. This shows how little he cared for me and our relationship.

Example of how our conversations would usually go:

A day later I hit him up with "I'm backk... from the dead"

A: "still assuming you're mad at me ok bye"

Me: "I'm not D: Well I was. But not anymore."

A: "You get mad at me too often LOL"

Me: "^^^ maybe because you're oblivious" and just when I sent that...

A: "NADDHUAGDAIDDB. NEWWW TOKYO GHOUL. SWAG SWAG. SWAG SWAG SWAG SWAG SWAG SWAG SWAG"

Me: "I should date women instead. LOL oh yay. wait what new?"

A: "NEW SEASON. oh ok. I c how you feel about me"

Me: "I watched the first ep. Too gruesome. so I stopped ;n; and uh idk"

A: "AYYEEEEE GRUESOME"

Me: "boys have trouble paying attention to detail."

A: "^"

Me: "nonono. I can't watch gruesome stuff ;n; I like watching things like Spirited Away"

A: "afk. Tokyo Ghoul <3"

Me: "oh gawd. yup yup."

By this point I got so fed up with him. I get that he had his own hobbies and stuff but like it felt more like he didn't want anything to do with me despite me being his girlfriend. It's like he didn't even like me to begin with. My boyfriend now showers me with attention and affection. Even when he goes off to play games he'd always make sure that I was higher priority.

Flag #4. A few times after we have had sex he'd jump right on to his computer and he'd start a League of Legends game just as I'm putting my clothes on. I would even have to see myself out of his apartment and walk myself in the dark to the bus stop in a sketchy ass neighbourhood. I started to feel like he was only dating me just so he can have sex with someone.

Conclusion:

After dating him I realized that I deserve and need to seek way better. He was not right for me as I was not right for him. However, the way he treated me and our relationship was complete ass. I've had people talk shit about me because I'm so vocal about how badly he treated me and honestly? I don't give two fucks about what you think about me because I KNOW I deserved better and can call whoever I want out. I was taken advantage of and I was taken for a fool. Maybe he actually had sincere feelings of love towards me at some point, but it doesn't excuse how he treated me for most of our relationship.

Sucked that this life lesson took 1.5 years of my life.

[ninatodita]

1. Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid. Being in the present 2. What was your favorite musical group when you were a kid? probably the black eyed peas or smth 3. When was the first time that you had alcohol? like 10  4. What is your worst dating experience? a guy showed me a picture of himself on a motorcycle as a way to “impress” me. i got like second hand embarrassment  5. What is the craziest thing you have ever done? if i ever told my mom that i smoked cigarettes in my room when i was younger she would hit me. so probably that 6. Name one thing that not many people know about you. i’m scared my ass is starting to sag 7. What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? being quietly powerful 8. Do you have any phobias? heights  9. Name three countries you would like to visit. greece, peru, and india 10. If your house was on fire and you could grab only 3 things before leaving, what would they be? id, credit card, a sweater for later 11. Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets? ya 12. Do you believe in the paranormal? ya 13. What would be your dream job? having a desk in an office and i just do paperwork and input data in a computer. i get an hour for lunch and there’s parking right outside the building.                                               

14. If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? money, the desire to work out, and better natural eyebrows/ eyelashes

15. If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? i like my first name but i would drop my dad’s last name and take my great-grandmas 16. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? new orleans 17. If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. eat, cry, listen to haydn 18. What crazy activities do you dream of trying someday? adopting a baby

19. If you could go on a road trip with any person (dead or alive), who would you choose and where would you go? i would choose prince and we would go where ever he would want to go 20. Any tattoos or pierced body parts? piercings on my face 21. What’s your favorite color? like that 70s mustard color and pastel purple 22. What is your favorite flower? plumeria 23. What is on your bedside table? lamp, glasses case, hand lotion, mouth guard, sleep mask, headphones, vicks, and 2 stuffed animals  24. What was your best Halloween costume for Halloween? dressed up as lydia from beetlejuice 25. If you could be any cartoon character, who would you be? gene belcher 26. Are you a morning or night person? neither 27. Name a singer whose voice you can’t stand. iggy azealia or however u spell that bitchs name

28. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? trapeze 29. What do you remember about your high school prom? my pretty dress and how there was no food  30. What’s your favorite holiday? halloween  31. Have you ever been mentioned in a newspaper? yes actually  32. Have you ever gone skinny dipping or streaking? no 33. What body part do you get caught staring at? asses and boobs ..the usual 34. Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? boringly, the latter  35. What is your most treasured possession? my car 36. Adult Beverage of choice? cider 37. What is your favorite food? pasta the way i make it tho 38. Can you fake any accents? thick irish but only for like 30 secs  39. What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? their ugly ass faces 40. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? eat ass..im sorry im not brave enough 41. If you had to live under the sea what kind of an animal would you be? starfish 42. Most hated chore on the household chore list? buying groceries 43. In life who has had the most influence on you? my grandma 44. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?  45. If you could be one kind of beer which one would you be and why? i dont know beer  46. What extremely difficult life situation have you overcome and how did you do it? uhhh pass 47. What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? i didnt wear underwear one time and then wore a dress like a fucking moron. it was windy...etc 48. If you could choose, how would you want to die? laying in bed with clean sheets 49. If you could change the world what would you do? lmao 50. Name 1 thing you love about being an adult i take better care of myself now than when i was younger obv 51. Which would you rather have, $50,000 or true love? my instinct is to go for the money  52. Do you believe everything happens for a reason? no not always 53. What song always makes you happy when you hear it? heart love -albert ayler 54. Who’s the funniest person you know? my old coworker  55. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? the voicemail at my dentist office 56. How big is your bed? its literally 2 military cots pushed together and held in place with 2 mattress toppers 57. What is the wallpaper on your cellphone? a painting of a dog gnawing at the cork of a wine bottle 58. What’s the first thing you thought about this morning? will i be forced to do errands with others 59. Are you afraid of the dark? sometimes 60. 3 things you cannot live without? this list is making me realize how boring i am. i cant think of anything besides the obvious: credit card, headphones, clean underwear etc 61. Favorite song? if i cant have you -etta james and harvey fuqua 62. Are you a giver or a taker? a lil bit a both  63. Virgin or not? no  64. Are you very sarcastic? sometimes 65. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? pfft no i slide those mf right off 66. Which you favorite icecream flavor? coffee  67. What was the last drink you drank? water 68. Do you prefer hugs or kisses? uhh by who? in general, none. 69. Have you ever gone cow-tipping? no im not a total loser 70. Do you like to sing in the shower? always 71. What’s your favorite midnight snack? captain crunch cereal 72. Whats your favorite movie? the first thing that came to mind was waynes world  73. Have you ever gambled at a casino? no and i never will 74. Have you thrown up in a car? no? 75. Do you scream on roller coasters? no 76. When did you go to your first funeral? 7 yrs old 77. Where did you go on your first airplane ride? 6 yrs old 78. Whats your favorite season? fall 79. Who was your imaginary friend? no one 80. Date someone older or younger? older 81. If you don’t know the words to a song do you improvise? usually 82. What turns you on about the opposite sex? chris hemsworth & winston duke 83. What turns you off about the opposite sex? arrogance and lack of self reflection 84. What scares you the most and why? dying and knowing im dead cuz its scary yo 85. What do you do in your free time? lay in bed and waste time 86. Name 3 things in nature you find most beautiful? birds chirping early in the morning, fog, and when sunlight peaks through thick canopies in the rainforest 87. Tell me about something you really regret? oh god so many little things  88. Tell me about your favorite book, magazine or comic? calvin and hobbes is nostalgic  89. Something or someone you miss the most from childhood? does myself count 90. Your best friend dies, what would you do? mourn  91. What is your zodiac sign? cancer 92. Name a couple of T.V. shows you watch a lot? the office, jane the virgin, the nanny, living single 93. Name a movie or movies you can watch over and over? beverly hills cop, zodiac, contagion, the princess and the frog 94. Would you ever go skinny dipping? if the water is warm 95. Have you been told you can sing well more than once? no lol  96. What is the strangest dream you’ve ever had? ballerinas were sitting on the banister and then one jumped on my back and tried to murder me 97. What were you doing the last time you really had a good laugh? teaching kids origami 98. What is your happiest childhood memory? the summer in mexico 99. If you could take a one month trip anywhere and money was not a consideration, where would you go? new york  100. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be? consistency