#he was more than ok with not being one person's everything
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I know that people love to headcanon Tim as a child of Athena, I personally like to headcanon him as child of Hades due to his similarities with Nico and the fact that dead seems to follow that kid like a motherfucker but never actually reach HIM.
But hear me out.
Tim as a child of Dionysus. And he gets claimed during the Bruce-quest.
When he was in Gotham monsters were a usual thing. You never knew that they were there for your godly blood, you just thought that they were things created by pollution or something like that. And when he became Robin fighting things that wanted to kill you while saying weird things was more usual than a hug (not that that was a hug standard for Tim).
But then everyone started dying. His parents, Kon, Bart, Steph, BRUCE. Everyone. Every. One.
And Tim…Tim couldn’t seem to reach madness. I mean YEAH he wasn’t doing great by any standard, but he knew madness, he grew up in madness, and he wasn’t going mad.
The cloning was just a treat.
And during the Bruce-quest, everyone thought he was crazy, he was casted away because everyone thought he was crazy CRAZY Tim can’t he crazy! He knows that! He knows that in his blood that going crazy isn’t a chance for him. He made everyone crazy when they were around him (hence Jason. He knew that Jason was mad at him from the start, but going near Tim lighted a flame inside him that Tim is sure isn’t completely Jason’s) but Tim couldn’t go crazy. He could ACT crazy. But never too serious.
And then, in the depths of Greece, he met his dad. His real dad.
He always knew that Jake wasn’t his dad. The blonde hair his mother forced him to dye since he was 5 and the purple eyes his father forced him to hide with contacts told him that. But Tim grew up looking up at Jack, even if Jack didn’t love him, he was the dad that decided to (figuratively) stay. And Tim loved him till death.
But when that man appeared, Tim knew, with only a moment of stares, that that man was his father. They talked a bit, too. The man knew about everything Tim was doing, and that creeped Tim out, but when the man made appear a glass of wine for Tim (and one side for himself) and Tim drank it, he knew what he was.
Something on the flavor, on the feeling. It was Tim. It was home. Something he hadn’t feel in a long time.
He spent the rest of the quest feeling sure that he would make it, because somewhere on the heavens his dad was looking out for him, he promised he was. And this time it wasn’t a figuratively sentimental bullshit. His dad was really helping on the heavens. And Tim was gonna make it.
He saw him again when the quest ended. He appeared in all of his godly glory while Tim was living in the nest. He opened a can of soda and sat on his couch like he wasn’t a man Tim has only met twice, but that was ok, because that was his dad, and he was choosing to visit him. (Also, he wasn’t going to say no to a literal GOD) .
He yapped for two hours about the kids at the camp his dad forced him to work at ( “HE IS SUCH AN A-HOLE SOMETIMES TIM YOU DONT UNDERSTAND-“) and the more he talked about that camp, the more invested Tim got. At the end of it the man, his dad, just looked at him in the eye and said “y’know if you were there we could do this more often. Yer a better listener than that centaur. Also, I think your brothers would like having you there”
He leaves immediately for camp after that. The family thinks Tim decided to leave them for not believing in him, so it’s a shock when he comes back after the summer being great with a sword and with a Tan his skin haven’t known before, not even after fighting crime during the hottest days on San Francisco, and he was happy, like actually happy. A kind of happy he never was with them.
Tim made friends there. He was friends with Annabeth, a girl from the Athena cabin, who honestly thought that Tim was one of them after they had a talk about strategies on the field and all that, and was about to fist fight Dionysus for claiming one of her brothers. She still called him brother, but now she understood that Tim was a Dionysus kid. And her boyfriend Percy. They talked all night about the weight of being a leader and having your people die without you being able to do anything. Percy talked about a boy named Ethan and two girls named Zoe and Bianca. Tim talked about Steph, Kon and Bart.
Tim told him about the Bruce-quest, and Percy told him about the time he was ready to fist fight a good to get his mother back from the underworld.
He also fully loved his brother. Pollux was great and made him feel welcomed to camp. They talked during lunch and Pollux showed him every single thing that made camp especial. He also teached him how to make fun of their dad without turning into a dolphin, so yeah. They got along like a house on fire.
He also made friends with a girl from the Aphrodite cabin. Her name is Drew. She was kind of an asshole and tried flirting with him, and THEY DID GET TOGETHER FOR A BIT, but after some time they decided they were better as friends. And friends they were. Best friend even.
He never told the Batfam any of this.
So after some months in Gotham there’s a cult going around calling themselves “Children of Dionysus” and doing atrocious things.
Duke walked in on Tim trashing the training room of the cave, and later on Jason walked in on Tim having his fourth bottle of wine.
Tim was FURIOUS. Not only that was disrespectful to his dad, but to his brother and himself too. He was going to pick every part of that little cult and trash it.
There he meets Bernard. Then they get on a relationship.
When a sathyr comes to take Bernard to camp Tim goes with him, excited to have his dad meeting his boyfriend.
Dionysus has never been more uncomfortable than when he had to claim his son’s boyfriend in front of him. It wasn’t that hard before! But now they had those things against incest on the human world and he knew this wouldn’t be pleasant to any of his sons.
#tim drake#dionysus#percy jackson#annabeth chase#castor and pollux#batman#bruce wayne#dc comics#dick grayson#Pjo au#bernard dowd#jason todd#duke thomas#dc robin#batfamily#stephanie brown#damian wayne#kon el#bart allen#THEYRE ONLY MENTIONED SORRY FOR USING THEIR TAGS IF UR LOOKING FOR ONLY THEM :(#Tim: dad this is my boyfriend Bernard#:He’s a demigod from Gotham like me!#Dionysus: it might seem crazy what I’m bout to say…
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Arcane S2 Thoughts
I've had a week to digest this season and well, I guess I have the unpopular opinion of being very disappointed. After the initial flash of gorgeous animation and some ooo's and awe's.... I was left with a bitter aftertaste. I can rewatch S1 loads of time. I don't think I can watch S2 again.
I'm happy for the fans that loved it and got what they wanted or the shippers that got what they wanted. I'm happy for you. Do your thing.
Me? Not so much. Even as a Silco fan (and I admit to squeeing for any footage of him at first), I'm not pleased. Yeah, my young Silco is a nerd, man-bun hottie, but that's where it ended for me. His entire characterization was nothing like the character I fell head over heels for in S1.
Vander's Flashback: I honestly don't find Felicia's inclusion necessary at all. In fact, I think it waters down everything between Silco and Vander. Their knowing her and the kids creates more questions, plotholes, and problems than it supposedly solves.
Why is Vander only in those memories with the kids? It's before the fallout with Silco. Why don't the kids know or remember nice Silco? Why do they only fear him (obv that's from Vander and Benzo, yes?)?
Why doesn't Silco seem to know Powder at Vander's dead body? Why would he kill Felicia's kids? None of it makes any fucking sense if he cared about Felicia. He hates Vander so much, he hates the kids too because he adopted them?
How the hell does S2 Young Silco turn into S1 Silco? Riot really messed this one up. Vander's attempted murder didn't change his entire personality.
It was a rebellion battle. People were going to get hurt and killed. They had to know this. So, whether Silco accidentally killed Felicia (as some fans are debating) or she died, is so damn dumb for Vander to solely blame Silco. Takes the kids, becomes a pacifist FIRST and then decides to (shave and grow younger) kill his brother for the greater good. Doesn't make one lick of sense narratively.
The narrative, characterization and animation inconsistencies don't help from S1 either. The drowning scene doesn't fit the S2 explanation. They're too young. Vander had a beard and appears much older on the bridge. Hell, S2 Young!Silco looks older than S1 Young!Silco. Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy. If people want to kiss Riot's ass, fine, but there was too much that was straight up lazy writing.
Silco's death is just glossed over considering how important he is. Silco did what Vander couldn't. Even without Shimmer, the Underground was thriving. Cait's mother's death/burial/statue gets more screen time and Silco gets dumped in the river. No one seems to question his death or what happened? Yeah, ok.
I'll use this moment to complain about the excessive music video montages this season too. I watched S1 again and the writing and use of music worked in unison and enhanced scenes. S2 felt like scenes in between music videos and it was irritating.
There was so much screentime wasted that could have been good dialogue heavy scenes that S1 was great at. Instead, time wasted on poorly executed plotlines that needed way more time to flesh out (Mel, Ekko and Viktor) and we have slowmo music videos and MCU fight scenes. Hermie's guitar song and Mission Impossible jokster crap was laughable and not in a good way.
Riot tried to pack too much into one season, and it was a mess. This season felt like watching a Marvel movie. Cool action sequences with little to no substance. All the nuance and grit from last season were gone in favor of the 'good vs. bad' trope. All the political-societal issues in S1 were abandoned that were far more fascinating to explore.
Mel has superpowers now? It feels all out of place. Her, Ambessa, and the Black Rose plot have zero time to make it interesting and plausible. She was introduced as this master manipulator/politician and her sage persona feels so forced.
Jesus Demigod Viktor was too much. I was excited for the Machine Herald and the psychedelic Arcane magical multiverse took me out. Making him to be the big baddie and timeloop it around to Jayce felt like a big cop out. Viktor deserved better. Hell, Jayce deserved better.
So much was sacrificed to make the whole Arcane magic THE point of the series when it was one of the least interesting aspects of the show. Hextech for weapons and the continuing problems between Piltover and Zaun was RIPE for storytelling. It seems each act needed several episodes to cover.
Ekko sure as fuck deserved better than that half assed time warp with Hermie. The AU really bothered me. Everything felt wrong. EVERYTHING. Nothing was explained well at all. It felt like complete fan service at the expense of the characters. Before people rip me saying "well duh! It was an AU!". You don't assassinate characters and plot to have a happy ending that insults your viewers.
They turned Zaun (its own cool character) into the bargain basement of Piltover. How is it sunny and pretty? Really? Mirror tricks? Everyone just forgave Piltover after years of oppression?
You're telling me Vi's death saved humanity? Fuck that shit right now. Piltover just stopped because a kid died? Suddenly everything became better? What happened to Jayce? Viktor? Hell, Hermie after decades didn't give two shits about Zaun, so what changed with the Council? Where's Singed? I don't buy it.
I don't buy Jinx/Powder being super normal smart girl. I LOVE JInx, but I believe she had mental issues prior breaking into Jayce's apartment. I don't think Vi's death made that go away (as I don't believe Silco's death did either). As someone who battles with mental health, this is insulting to me as a viewer.
I hated AU Silco. There. I said it. He just forgave Vander? Really? Bullshit. The reason Vander tried to kill him is stupid. A simple letter changed Silco? That fluffy-haired softy is not Silco. I can't imagine that Silco being the one who fought a rebellion. He probably would not have become a mob boss peddling drugs but this AU softboi dad feels so wrong. I never would have stanned AU Silco. Not in a million years.
S1 Silco's traits didn't magically appear because Vander betrayed him. The young S1 Silco had to be similar in many ways to older S1 Silco. Drive, ambition, ruthlessness, willing to die for a cause. I don't see Felicia's death changing that. I certainly don't see Vi's death changing that.
If Vander needed to kill Silco to stop the violence, etc, it's because he saw Silco as a threat to him or society as a whole. S1 Vander is known as The Hound. So, he seems to be violent as well. He takes credit for building the Underground when Felicia credits both 'bozos' for it. So Vander being upset she died and blaming Silco to the point of murder is a slap in the face to fans' intelligence.
I do hate that by Vi's death, everything is magically better. I can't express how much I hate that. AU Powder was irritating and was nothing like my Jinx that I love. Again so much wasted time that could have been better spent on good character driven scenes that actually advance the plot.
Pointless characters. Introduce Isha (who I adored). Make her seem important to Jinx. Kill her and never mention her again. So what was the point of her inclusion this season? Just to make Jinx suicidal? I hated that also. Again WASTED SCREENTIME.
Oh, and Caitvi was a disgrace. I think shippers deserved better here, too. Caitlyn goes crazy dictator because of guilt over her mom. Granted, Caitvi only knew each other for a week-ish? Not a lot of time to make their relationship serious past an infatuation. Cait turns from all her good points last season to Ambessa's padawan.
Don't get me started on that side piece Maddie. Really? Cait you were that hard up? And that long awaited sex scene was a big eye roll. Vi goes to her sister, and shit goes to hell, and a few minutes later, she's fucking Cait in the same cell. Vi was reduced to shit this season.
I mean, these characters just got shafted in every way for a high speed train wreck ending that we've seen a million times in Disneyfied stories. Action sequences were more important than actual character development and plot.
You can't make me believe that one speech from Jayce 'seeing a possible future' suddenly got Zaun to work with and dress up as Piltover soldiers? Really?
I had high hopes for Sevika, and the girl got shit nothing to do except in two episodes. Her seat on the Council feels like a last-minute decision and not worthy enough to expand on.
What made S1 so great was the class divide between Zaun and Piltover and how it affected the characters. S2 decided to scrap that and go with the easy good vs evil trope instead. Even the parallels didn't have the same hit as last season.
I did like Jinx talking to her 'ghost' Silco in the jail cell. He was calming to her in contrast to Milo/Claggor except the implication that she should die (that's what I got out of that).
We didn't even get much from Singed. Yeah, he got his daughter back (in some form) but his story was so blah. We didn't get nearly enough of him and Warwick and what made Warwick.
I guessed a few years ago it was going to be Vander but I didn't like how it was handled.
Too many plotlines all rushed together without getting any decent screentime and explanations that don't confuse or insult viewers intelligence. OR you have to be a LOL fan/player to understand. I never played LOL before S1 and wasn't confused as to the main plot.
I loved all the characters in S1 and felt they were pretty much watered down or assassinated in S2 for an apocalyptical Demigod villain vs humanity battle done to death finale.
The Zaun/Piltover political-societal problems, parallels, corruption, science going wrong, pathway to hell paved with good intentions themes from S1 was so much better in every single aspect.
I'm still a fan of S1 and the characters and frankly, I'm going to ignore 95% of S2.
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Hear me out, guys, this is going to be kind of a long post, but I’m about to start cooking right now.
(spoilers for the manga btw sorry)
Okay, so we all know how Loid/ Twilight looks. If you scroll down, I’ve included some pictures of him (yes, I edited them).
Notice how he’s almost always drawn with angular features such as his jawline. (as seen by the red lines)
This is effective in showcasing his age and his experiences. Those angular features aren’t just for show���they subtly hint at his overall sharp personality and demeanour.
I mean, when is he NOT drawn with that iconic chiselled jawline?
But I do want to draw your attention to something.
We all (manga readers) know the story of [REDACTED].
And we all know that iconic heart-breaking panel of him crying once he realises his childhood friends survived the attack on his home town.
But look at this...
These three panels were all taken from his backstory arc, and notice how instead of his face being very angular and sharp, it is now rounded and softer than his usual jawline.
He almost looks like a child in these drawings, especially the first one where his face is considerably shorter.
Kinda like a squishy version of Loid.
When 'Loid' was reunited with his friends, it took him back. Back to a time when he didn't have to worry about the war, only playing pretend. For a moment, he was [REDACTED] again. For a moment, everything was ok.
And when he was drafted for W.I.S.E, (middle picture), he was finally able to leave the battleground, but he looks noticeably tired and young.
It only makes sense. His entire childhood was stolen from him. He became an orphan at presumably Anyas age, forced to raise himself from the ground up before joining the war at only 16 years.
His brain may have aged, but his body sure didn't. He's basically a 30 yo trapped in a body years too young for him.
Now, I expected people to say, "Well, of course, he looks younger. He's only 17/18 years old compared to his age in the main story."
Then take a look at these.
Both of these scenes happened before the previous ones, proving that it is not his physical age that contributes to the change in his face, but his mental age.
and to further prove my point i photoshopped squishy loids face on [redacted] to show how childlike he looks
like, you CANNOT tell me that isnt a literal child be so fr
(also expect like two more posts about loids backstory arc bc i have wayyyyy too many thoughts hahahha)
#spy x family#sxf#loid forger#loid sxf#sxf manga#spyxfamily#sxf manga spoilers#sxf spoilers#spy x family manga#spy x family spoilers#sxf loid#spy x family loid#sxf theory#hear me out PLEASE#sorry for the billions of tags i just want a lot of clout lol#i’m going to start unironically calling loid with a soft jawline squishy loid#squishy loid#he’s so cute tho LOOK AT HIM#im going insane :3
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Hey! RSV bachelor's/bachelorette when jealous please??
Sure thing :3
I didn't know, dear anon, whether you meant jealousy romantic or any other kind, so I stayed on the romantic. Also since there are hints in the mod about the relationships of some of the candidates (Paula/Anton, Zayne/Irene, etc.), some headcanons will list the candidates' partner as Farmer and others will be neutral. Hope it's ok! Thank you for your ask! 💕
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RSV bachelors/ettes when they're jealous:
If Jio had the ability to sizzle anyone he didn't like or those who let themselves get too much with his lover, there would be a whole circle of ashes around Farmer of all those losers. He has his trusty katana, though... Not that the elf doubts his partner's fidelity, it's just that sometimes they don't realize they're being flirted with. And Jio sees everything. He'll be a bit possessive near Farmer.
No, Corine won't keep quiet about the jealous feelings that have arisen. If something doesn't suit her, she points it out to Farmer directly, without all these games and guesses. She's not the jealous type, but she won't stand for boundaries being violated either by Farmer's interlocutor or by Farmer themself.
Despite all the Amethyst family drama throughout Zayne's life, with jealousy, cheating, and other not-so-nice things (thanks to his parents for a "happy" childhood), the future head of the family himself, fortunately, has not adopted all of this into his worldview about relationship with his partner. He doesn't feel jealous, trusts his partner, and believes that if someone is worried about something, they should share their problems with each other, because healthy relationships are built on honesty and communication.
Faye won't act directly, but she won't miss the opportunity to make passive-aggressive comments and snort in the direction of someone who allows themself to cross the line with her partner. That's the kind of nerve it takes to pry into a taken person's life, especially when she's standing right next to them! Her jealousy, however, Faye will deny if caught off guard with the question.
Anton is afraid. Afraid that he is not good enough for his partner, as his self-esteem has been low lately, to say the least. He's gotten it into his head that he's a total loser and still doesn't understand what his partner saw in him. Won't say his fears out loud, but will start constantly questioning if his partner really loves him and if he's good enough for them.
June, when jealous, stands away from people and starts smoking more than he should, as it helps him to distract himself a little bit from his negative thoughts. This is bad for his health, and Farmer can immediately notice it, to which June will not hide his jealousy. But then he'll apologize and admit that he should have shared his worries with his partner instead of withdrawing and soaking himself in tobacco smoke.
Blair's feelings of jealousy toward Farmer manifest themselves in a huge desire to prank the person who is flirting with her partner. The fisherwoman usually only restrains herself with her mischievous thoughts, as she doesn't want Farmer to think she is jealous and controlling. But if anything, she has stink bombs and itching powder at the ready. Don't mess with her and with Farmer.
Oh, Daia want to teach the cheeky one who's messing with her Farmer a lesson, and have some fun in the process. The ninja will appear out of nowhere, and immediately start flirting with Farmer, giving them a quick kiss on the cheek, putting a hand on their shoulders or waist, saying "I missed you so much, love~ Oh, who's this, your friend? Nice to meet you~" More often than not, the "suitors" will back off. If not - she has shurikens and a katana for those stubborn ones.
When feeling jealous, Shiro will stare silently and glare, but will not share his worries aloud. He already feels like a burden to the family because of his injuries, and that includes his relationship with Farmer. Somewhere inside his head there's a voice saying he's not good enough for Farmer and what they've ever found in him, a cripple. It's not true, but until Shiro voices his thoughts, he's going to think that way all the time when someone tries to hit on Farmer.
Poor Alissa... The girl only once saw some tourist trying to flirt with Farmer (to which they said they were taken btw), and that was enough for her to feel insecure. She realizes it's a stupid and irrational thought, but still.... What if she's not enough for them? Alissa will try to be with Farmer more often for fear of losing them.
Sean is not a jealous person, and doesn't see Farmer's friends and acquaintances as a threat to his and his partner's relationship. On the contrary, new friends, that's neat! Naturally, if someone starts openly flirting or hitting on his partner, the man will remind him that Farmer is already taken. Otherwise, he trusts them and doesn't feel jealous.
As the Governor's bodyguard, Bryle has excellent situational awareness, quickly recognizing threats and people's behavior. He can see both his partner's body language and the body language of the person his partner is talking to from afar, so if someone does start to do wrong moves, all Bryle has to do is stand next to his partner. After all, by having Bryle, they also have the 'scary dog' privilege. Bryle is confident enough in himself and his partner, so not jealous.
The jealousy takes Ian by surprise, as he hasn't felt anything like it before. It was hard for him to know if that person was trying to hit on Farmer or if it was just a casual conversation and he wouldn't want to chop off his shoulder and throw accusations. But if the feeling of jealousy arose again, he'd be blunt about it.
"Maddie, you-" "No, I'm not jealous!" "...want some blueberry pie?" Oh boy, because of the betrayal and pain of her past relationship, Maddie still has insecurities about herself and suspicion of her current partner's loyalty. The lab assistant is well aware that these are irrational thoughts underwritten by low self-esteem, making her angry with herself and, most unpleasantly, likely to snap at her own partner. Maddie tries, but she can easily become jealous towards Farmer.
If Philip feels jealousy, he won't say it to Farmer directly. But he would tell his close friends over a mug of something strong, trying to figure out whether hie is overreacting or it was justified. On the other hand, though, Philip realized that discussing the problem with anyone but Farmer was a foolish and unjustifiable decision. He would try to make amends.
Paula is lost, not knowing what to do with her feelings of jealousy. On the one hand, she wants to share her concern and talk about the time when the doctor thought that the situation was out of line. On the other hand - she's afraid that her insecurities and remarks will only make the situation worse. It's going to take her a little while to get her act together, but she does spill everything to her partner, hoping that communication will solve the problem.
Kenneth isn't too pleased when one of Farmer's friends is clearly trying to be something more than a friend (even though he and Farmer are officially a couple!), but the electrician trusts his partner to work things out for themself and draw the boundaries. Not to say he's trying to eavesdrop on the conversation anyway, he's just curious. Only asks who it was and what they wanted with Farmer. A sliver of jealousy, but nothing serious for accusations.
"Already taken, if you don't know." Maybe a bit blunt and harsh on Kiarra's part, but the girl didn't want to be left with ambiguities and misunderstandings. Farmer's friend, who had been a little too touchy-feely for a friend lately, might take offense at Kiarra's words, but the graphic designer would ask how Farmer's friend would feel if she was trying to flirt with their partner like that. Nothing personal, but respect boundaries.
Does Flor realize that jealousy is a desire for the undivided control of all the time and all the strength, mental and bodily, of another person, which is not healthy for her relationship with Farmer? Of course. Will she begin to address this issue with Farmer? Well... yes, but not right away until she's prepared to voice her thoughts. The red-haired girl is afraid to express herself in such a way that Farmer will not only not understand her, but will take her words to heart, so she wants to be careful. Maybe there isn't really a problem here?
Wait, someone wants to take Farmer away from Ysabelle? No on her watch! It might have been a simple misunderstanding, but the jealous feeling in the girl already surged like fire, and it made her do something about it. She would be by Farmer's side, holding their hand (they are a couple), kissing them and complimenting them (they are a couple, after all) and gently hugging them (they are. a couple. got it?). Wha- Of course not, she's not jealous!
Jeric isn't jealous type, and he knows from himself when just someone shows a mastery of eloquence without any hint of taking his partner. But he's also a virtuoso at speaking and complimenting, so he really doesn't mind battling someone in conversation. Of course he'll win, since he's charming and Farmer thinks so, right dear?~ Though a little later he'll apologize to Farmer if it was a little awkward. Jeric believes them, he just wanted to have a little fun.
#ridgeside village#rsv#sdv mods#rsv daia#rsv jio#rsv faye#rsv zayne#rsv corine#rsv anton#rsv june#rsv blair#rsv shiro#rsv sean#rsv alissa#rsv bryle#rsv ian#rsv maddie#rsv philip#rsv paula#rsv kenneth#rsv kiarra#rsv flor#rsv ysabelle#rsv jeric#rsv headcanons#thanks for the ask!#sdv#stardew valley
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When I tell you I'm tired of this "but Snape was mean to children and that's unforgiveable" shit. And it's always from anons.
I had a lot of awful teachers in school. Like the one who overwhelmed us with work and then tried to sabotage my grades at my next school after my parent told her off for it. Or the teacher who failed half the class because he was racist, and it was known around campus that he was racist but the administration did nothing about it except make him head of the department. Or the other teacher who tried to fail me because she just didn't like me (and when I went to the administration with a complaint, they made her recalculate my grade and it turned out I had earned over an entire letter grade higher than what she wanted to give me). Or the elementary school teacher I had when I was SEVEN who used corporal punishment and abusive language. Or the high school teacher who only allowed white kids in her honors class to take the AP test at the end of the year, and not the hispanic or black kids.
And yet somehow when I read Harry Potter for the first time, Snape didn't stand out to me as a particularly abusive teacher. Because in the landscape of 90s education, he wasn't. I found Fake Moody/Crouch disturbing because of how much he enjoyed watching Neville suffer during the Cruciatus demo and how wildly manipulative and sociopathic he was with zero administrative oversight. I hated Lockhart because he reminded me of the teachers who, despite being grown adults, were more interested in personal validation from a bunch of teenagers, and our grades and test scores suffered for it. But the teacher who stood out to me as particularly vile and reprehensible was Umbridge - because I knew teachers like her. Teachers who exploited adminstrative policies to feel powerful because they were small, unimaginative, stupid people who were unqualified for their jobs and they knew it. Teachers who were emotionally stunted and felt the need to assert their personal like or dislike of literal children by affecting their transcripts forever. Teachers who thought that if they disliked a student enough they could justify using corporal punishment against them. And you know what I did? I put together petitions and got every student in every period to sign it who was taught by the teacher the petition was about. I went to the administration and invoked my rights as a student - sometimes they said there was nothing they could do, sometimes they took action. One teacher ended up getting fired. One administrator's contract wasn't renewed. And I don't feel bad, because they failed in their responsibilities to their students. And because I actually did something, instead of sitting around and complaining. And if I'd been born later and this had happened more recently, I would have done the same things, instead of venting my frustration online at random strangers on the internet over a piece of fiction.
So I have a question for every one of the "Snape was mean to kids and Snape fans excuse it" people, who never seem to ask themselves why they get so riled up over this character but not about Umbridge. Because I've had teachers like Snape. And when I look back on them, I don't feel traumatized by them. I remember hating them at the time. And I also remember everything they taught me. Because they were good teachers. And tbh, we were little shits, and the attitude check they gave us was socially acceptable at the time, so they weren't exploiting their power because they could - the way an Umbridge does - they were just mean. Sometimes people are mean. It's not OK, but it's also not the irreperable heinous crime some people make it out to be. There's a lot of nuanced grey area between those two things. And what I was left with by those teachers is the knowledge it was their job to impart, and did so successfully, and I have no hard feelings - to the point where when I looked one of them up I was sad to find they'd passed away because I wanted to reach out and thank them. The same way as the ones McGonagall reminds me of, who was also mean to kids and made them unsafe. But when I think back on the teachers Umbridge reminds me of, my stomach tightens. My blood pressure goes up. I get angry and feel helpless. Especially the ones who weren't just teachers, but were administrators who abused their power and affected kids' entire lives and academic careers. I want to look them up too - so I can shout at them and tell them how vile they are. And I'm glad I can't do that, because for all I know they've learned and grown as people and changed for the better. Because they're real people and not a fictional character.
So here's my question: why are you @-ing strangers on the internet about fictional characters and are you doing anything in your actual life about the Umbridges of the world? Are you on your local school board? Are you someone your kids or nieces/nephews/niephews can talk to if they're struggling with someone abusing their power? Are you still a student and if so are you doing anything about these teachers in your school? Organizing with other students, going to PTA meetings to bring up these issues, starting petitions to bring the administration's attention to the fact that the student body has issues with a staff member? Are you actively involved in any way, or have you been at any point, in trying to protect students from teachers like Umbridge, or do you just go around sending anons to Snape fans because stamp collecting was too boring a hobby for you and apparently you slept through the section in Lit class when you learned about how to spot when an author uses a biased narrator as a literary tool?
Do you actually care about abusive teachers as a real social problem, or do you just like to argue about fiction from the comfort of your couch and feel superior to strangers on the internet you actually know nothing about?
Grow up. Do something constructive. And stop thinking you're the first person to come up with this asinine argument because it turns out,
okay, yes, snape suffered a lot but he also made his students suffer a lot. do you know what it must have been like for all those kids to be constantly humiliated??? if you like comparing with real life so much, what would you think of a real adult who abuses their power to feel better at the expense of children??? snape fans always come up with all kinds of excuses, but when it comes to the topic of his abuse towards his students, you always stay silent, and that's because it has no forgiveness.
Severus’s role as a dysfunctional adult is honestly pretty amusing to me, especially because while I never experienced bullying from peers or equals, I grew up in an environment full of wildly dysfunctional adults. On top of that, I now work on legal cases involving even more dysfunctional adults. And, to make it even better, while my classmates never gave me grief, attending a private Catholic school in the 2000s meant teacher-on-student violence was pretty much a daily occurrence. Not just at school—I've also had some truly awful professors at university. So, I get firsthand what it’s like to have authority figures who are supposed to guide and protect you but act like an absolute pack of jerks.
Here’s an unpopular opinion: if I compare my personal experiences with dysfunctional adults and terrible teachers, Severus is practically a lamb. I’ve witnessed some insane things. There was a case at my school where a teacher bullied three siblings (in different grades) so badly that their dad came to the school and physically beat the teacher up. And honestly? The guy deserved it. I’ve seen old-school priests handing out slaps. I’ve had a teacher in his late 30s openly flirting with 17-year-old students. I’ve had teachers who didn’t just throw out a sarcastic remark—they flat-out called us “idiots,” “morons,” "dickheads", "assholes", “worthless,” or said things like, “You’re all going to end up mopping floors because you’re useless pieces of crap.” Fun times with Mr. Antonio.
There was one teacher who made students stand up one by one so he could critique their outfits in front of the entire class, piece by piece, like he thought he was Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada. Another handed out nicknames that were humiliating and outright cruel. Or that elementary teacher who also taught catechism and would call up children who were not going to take their First Communion (this happens at 8 or 9 years old) to the front of the class and publicly ask them why they didn’t want to embrace Jesus Christ. She would even ask if they thought their parents didn’t love them because they weren’t letting them do the same as their friends. Or the second-grade teacher who called a boy up to the board because he didn’t know a multiplication table very well and started singing a mocking song in Spanish that goes, “Fulanito tururú, que no sabe ni la u” (basically calling someone slow-witted).
Then there was the fourth-grade teacher (9-10yo) who had a particular grudge against one of my classmates and kept threatening to lock him in places or scaring him by saying he was going to throw him out the window. The English teacher, who, when we were 14 years old, locked us in a classroom, made us skip lunch, and kept us there without eating until 5 PM. The technology teacher, a 50-year-old man with a very hands-on approach towards the girls in first and second year of secondary school (12-13 yo). And I could go on and on.
So yeah, I’ve seen some wild stuff in classrooms, and trust me, you don’t need to explain the trauma bad teachers can cause—I’ve had my share of them. And none of it is going to make me like Severus any less. If anything, the stuff he does in the books feels like 1% of the madness I’ve seen play out in real life.
#honestly how many times can people bring up the same argument#and with zero critical thought behind it#do you think someone's going to reply 'wow no one has ever brought up this point before omg you're so right you've opened my eyes'#or do you keep asking the same question because you never actually read the answer
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Curly not immediately punishing Jimmy for assaulting Anya is something I don’t think a lot of people are viewing in the complex context for Curly as the superior to both of them and closest confidante they had.
Like I am in no way saying he didn’t under react or fail Anya by not being harsh or direct with Jimmy but it really is the case that he really couldn’t. Imagine being stuck in such a confined space with very little areas to genuinely hold someone if they commit a crime. It’s not like this was an event that occurred before they departed or that they have easy communication with The Pony Express to ask for how to proceed when something like this arises. Not to mention, Jimmy’s relative power in relation to Anya as the co-pilot and second in command, he has the knowledge and access to do something to her had Curly directly punished him in this setting.
They were also Curly’s friends. It’s not just the case of him mediating something between his subordinates but people he is personally invested in don’t want to see spiral further in Anya’s case while also not wanting believe his friend go that bad in Jimmy’s actions. They were both suicidal and Curly putting Jimmy’s stability first is both out of bias but also the fact he’s aware at some level Jimmy is a danger to himself and others if not constantly placated. Combined with the fact he was in denial or just not piecing together what Anya said it’s hard to say what he buying time for and what he had treat as urgent. This isn’t even saying he doesn’t care about Anya but he’s not going jump to the worst conclusions about his friends even if part of him acknowledges the evidence saying so. It’s a complicated thing but he’s still human and needed to process it on top of trying to keep a ship that already took on a lot of water from further sinking, metaphorically.
I just personally think that while Curly failed Anya, it was a scenario where there wasn’t much he could do to the best thing by her safely and like Jimmy, we are underestimating what a good leader would do in a very fragile and tense situation like he was in. By the time he may have been ready and had a plan, things were much too late.
#like in my one Anya still respected Curly after he didn’t punish Jimmy so I assume he still respected her or reassured her he’d do something#it just was never enough because sadly Jimmy just needed to be removed from the ship and that’s not possible#cause no matter what Jimmy was going to do something stupid to fix it and Curly had to be thinking of a way to avoid that but also trying to#play the subjective role of friend and objective role of captain with two of the people he is currently closest with#not to mention how he’s a big picture guy and it’s not an excuse but those little detail and subtle behaviors are probably lost if the big#picture looks fine still and he admits he’d drive himself crazy trying to look for it#like weirdly Curlys character is only seen through the people he tried to protect and we judge him on his failures but we don’t get too much#on his insights directly as Jimmy is unreliable and he tries hard to be gentle with Anya#personal note is I don’t think Curly underplaying Anya’s trauma is a guy code protecting my bud thing but more a flaw in his personal#character in where he just wants everything and everyone to be ok in the end and taking responsibility that isn’t his to bare like he can’t#make up for what Jimmy did but he tried and that’s the problem really cause he’s just used to actually fixing it for him and it’s the case#this is the one thing he really couldn’t like I think he’s a good guy but he’s trapped in his and a bunch of other peoples worse moments#anya mouthwashing#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing curly#curly mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#jimmy mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse Anya#mouthwashing spoilers#rape tw#suicide tw#also last thought is how he like also was being emotionally drained by Jimmy constantly like Anya and his relationship with Jimmy parallel#each other in such a way that both him and Anya warily follow the words of the others abuser because they fear the physical or emotional#repercussions if they don’t like her not being able to really tell curly what happened and then curly not being able to do the same and how#jimmy assaults and dehumanizes both when they are no longer a service to him like god they are more adjacent than Jimmy and Curly like Curly#messed up in a already messy pile Jimmy mad it into a dumpster fire in a landfill they are not the same
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something I’ve been thinking abt is how many people think Makoto is immune to despair. I don’t think he is. I think becoming the ultimate Hope was BECAUSE he felt despair. He wouldn’t have fully reached that point without Junko. Makoto becoming such a beacon was his last attempt to avoid completely falling and it wasn’t because he didn’t feel despair, it was because he was too damn stubborn to allow everything to go to waste and he refused to sacrifice his beliefs for someone else’s. His inner monologue tells me he DID experience the same new low the other suvivors did in the final trial, but at the point where he had the choice to give up and die, he looked at the others and he looked at Junko and he couldn’t allow it to happen, not out of self preservation, but because the idea that Junko would have control over their lives made him FURIOUS. and that utter refusal to die kicked in, wether luck or otherwise, and he made the concious effort for one last push while something in him was breaking. He had to be broken in order for the Ultimate Hope to come through so aggressively, bc it could only exist in the face of the Ultimate Despair. He snapped the same way she did, but in the other direction. In what could have been his final moments he chose to embody everything Junko wasn’t, and every single optimistic and luck fueled ideal in him suddenly charged forward and pushed him. It was a combination of the final straw and a choice. Makoto isn’t immune to feeling despair, he’s just too stubborn to fall into it of his own volition. I think that’s why I like that scene in DR3 so much. People were SO SHOCKED Makoto actually fell for the tape, that he actually became despair for a moment. I saw people getting mad or disappointed, saying it was pathetic and Makoto seemed to fall from some sort of pedestal for them. Honestly part of me wonders if that sort of mentality, which clearly people had in universe, affected Makoto a bit. Like he started to see himself as less of a person, subconsciously. Prompting him to take more risks, less self preservation, act way more bold. It seems he has to be reminded a lot not to put himself in danger by his friends, to not do something too reckless. All over the place I would see in regards to that scene either this frivolous ‘oh this was just angst drama with no meaning behind it’ or ‘he can do better than that. he’s so weak’ or ‘come on, there’s no way he’d fall into despair, he’s the Ultimate Hope!’ This kind of mentality, which was kind of ironic considering Ryota was there the entire time saying the same thing and treating Makoto the same way. Like Makoto was superhuman. Like Makoto didn’t feel despair the same way ‘normal people’ did. In a way that was also how Munakata saw Makoto. Makoto stopped being a PERSON to the world when he became Ultimate Hope, he became a concept, a belief system, much the same way Junko ascended beyond herself. But the difference is that treating Makoto that way is the opposite of the reason Makoto became such a representative for hope. He wasn’t doing something no one else could. He was doing something everyone had the chance to, he just… was a little more optimistic, a little more stubborn, a little more ‘gung-ho’ about things. He just took the lead where no one else did, where no one else knew they even COULD in the face of Junko’s unstoppable force. She had overcome the biggest threats and obstacles in the world, what could one person do? And the answer Makoto found was, anything. Everything. It doesn’t all rest on Makoto, he’s just the one that was inspired to try to do what seemed like the impossible. But as evidenced by the change in his friends after that trial, it’s clearly not something only Makoto is capable of. The others pulled out of despair thanks to Makoto, but it was their choice to do so.
“But… this world is so huge, and we’re so small. What can we do…? No, we can probably do anything. Yeah! We can do anything!”
#makoto naegi#Danganronpa character analysis#Danganronpa#danganronpa thh#danganronpa future arc#I fucking love Makoto Naegi man.#I think there’s a fine line of nuance to Makoto that’s easy to miss bc he doesn’t really make it known#he’s not a pushover and he’s not overpowered. he’s a people pleaser but he will say what needs to be said#he’s an immovable object and the exact opposite of Junko but he’s also just a normal guy who’s optimistic and (un)lucky#he isn’t invincible but he has immense power to his words the same way Junko did#if anything his superpower is being kind above all else. he’s compassionate to some of the worst people in the world.#he was even conpassionatr to an extent to Junko. he didnt want her to kill herself despite everything she’s done#and he still acknowledges that for years she was a classmate and friend.#I do think the more he learned abt what she did the more he’s come to actually hate her though#post the first game he always refers to her without a suffix to her name which is one of the most subtle rude things you can do#it means you have zero respect for the person you’re referring to#and he speaks about her with some venom he doesn’t use for anyone else in the future arc#he’s not incapable of feeling negative emotions#I really liked the future arc scene bc it showed that Makoto DID experience enough despair to have overcome him if he didn’t refuse#and that it still affects him deeply. people treat him like he’s either this perfect ideal Chad or this baby chick who’s so delicate#and no one really focuses on how makoto shoulders so much and yet is still vulnerable.#honestly that guy was DUE for a mental breakdown even without the tape. it would have happened eventually#I actually wrote one based on him finally hitting a breaking point after giving so much of himself away and keeping nothing for himself#that his issues that he shoves down constantly finally can’t be held down anymore. Hajime helps him bc he knows how that feels#it was a LONG time ago that I wrote that but honestly if I can remember where i was going w it I might finish it#it was initially an rp but I could make it a fic#anyway. the point is Makoto is SO much more complex than people give him credit for#the most fundamental thing about him is that he’s normal and that’s ok! that’s what helps him rise!
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A succubus and a demon! (The succubi don't have names but the demon is Kronos and the succubus is one of his bosses in Hell and he's not /fond/ of the succubi for many reasons but they all adore picking on him)
Also because I love them and like to point it out, the succubi act more as pleasure dealers in the sense of they offer up whatever a human wants most in exchange for their soul. It's rarely of a sexual nature since it's what they want MOST in life. And most people's ambitions are outside of a bedroom. (happy pride, asexuals are able to get affected by a succubus now without discrimination)
#my characters#did i make succubi in a plot that i could fall victim to as an asexual personally? yeah#kronos is just a petty lil baby with a younger brother who is very nice for a demon#kronos is responsible for being a dick to everyone in the plot and yet has the weirdest morals and its not fine#but hes gonna make that everyone elses problem not his#for instance he originally goes to earth bc a human has somehow just stolen all of the Devils attention and its annoying#why fixate on one human doomed to Hell just let the guy live and die then fixate#so he goes to kill the human but ends up saving the guy and then agonizes because even as a demon#its REALLY tacky to save someone and then kill them#so he doesnt kill him and instead demands to be a roommate until he returns to hell#and then they team up to kill demons and other creatures that seem obsessed with the human#and so they just kinda kill and banish demons back to hell and its fiiiine kronos is just causing problems for Hell#thats not even a new issue hes always doing that !#and then they meet a siren who refuses to talk and kronos is like oh time to be the biggest dick ever#and is like well if she wont talk and she needs a name i vote halibut#as a mean joke bc why would she want to be named after a fish#and she lights up and is SUPER happy and nods and beams and is so happy with her new name#and then the human is like well she needs more clothes than one outfit right#also shes barefoot and its cold i need to buy her shoes idk what tho#and kronos is like here buy her these rainboots and so the guy buys them and is like just wear these#until you can show me what you want bought ok and halibut is in love with her cute lil yellow rainboots#so basically everything kronos does out of spite to the weird mute siren (by choice) backfires#and she adores him and doesnt know hes trying to be mean to her#anyway the succubi collectively like to pick on the really silly and childish demons they outrank#like kronos! so he is constantly a target for them to mock which is why he isnt fond of them which fuels them more#the succubi are just really chill most of the time though ?#and its just. i love my succubi ok theyre wonderful#and that has been another story time in the tags bye
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@mischievouslittlecreature yeh, that definitely felt more like a business deal than anything else 😳😂!
I gotta say, I'm kinda relieved it did feel and read like that. Rules will be put in place and arrangements made, but everyone, EVERYONE *looks to Lizzie 👀, knows where they stand. Are we all clear on that, Tommy? Lucy? LIZZIE??...ok good 😌 😂.
“As we’ve already discussed to exhaustion.” His jaw ticked. “I won’t do it.” I love how he adamantly refuses to agree to her plan at first. And I honestly think that it's not just him trying to convince Lucy of his love for her and her importance to him, but he genuinely doesn't want to do this!
Why was she even arguing for this so bloody hard? She should be happy that he’d instantly dismissed the suggestion the very first time that she brought it up. Hell, she was, from a purely selfish standpoint. But Lucy...😭. Urgh I felt for her in this part. Because in a way I fee like this is her way of being the better person, showing Tommy how she's not affected by the whole mess and that it won't affect her. She's putting on this strong stance on the matter but we know she's crumbling inside. And Tommy's constant refusal is his response to those feelings he knows she has. It's like an unspoken conversation between them about their insecurities, but they both know what has to be done 😩.
“That’s one hell of a way to propose to someone.” Suck it up Lizzie, it's that or nothing 😂!
“Technically you aren’t being proposed to until we know that you agree to our…conditions,” at least he's not sugar coating it. I gotta admit, I'm all for this business like attitude to this faux marriage. He doesn't want to give Lizzie false hope. He's learnt that she can be easily mislead into thinking otherwise, so he's definitely treading carefully, making sure everything is understood and clear.
Lucy struggled to meet her gaze when it shifted periodically over to her, guilt roiling through her like a tempestuous storm. She’d never been able to shake the feeling that if she were not around, Tommy and Lizzie may have actually stood a chance together. And she was pretty certain that Lizzie thought the same exact thing. Stop, nope nope nope! I won't have her beat herself up over this! And plus, we all know how they didn't stand a chance in the series. So...😌.
“I wish it was you,” he mumbled sorrowfully against her throat, and for a dreadful moment Lucy actually thought that she might start to cry. I mean, this nearly made me cry too 😭💔. God, he loves her so much. It's gonna be a real hard read if you have their wedding included in this series and anymore mentions of their honeymoon. I mean, what will Lizzie expect on their wedding night...on their honeymoon? I'm already anticipating Lucy's insecurities over these two moments, and I really hope Tommy stands his ground on both.
Looking forward to catching up with the next chapter as soon as I can, because I'm already falling behind and i hate being out of the loop 😭. Amazing as always, hun 😍!
Part 22: This Misery We've Made
Fandom: Peaky Blinders
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC
Summary: Approval numbers and public perception of Tommy's personal life force him and Lucy to face some painful realities.
Word Count: 3,519
Notes: Not really sure if I'm entirely happy with this chapter, but I've been fiddling with it for so long and I just need to move on. Hope you all still like it! Warnings for depictions of insecurity and references to past abuse and polyamory.
Previous Part • Series • Fic • Next Chapter
Chapter 1: Too Late
“No.”
Lucy sighed, looking pleadingly into Tommy’s glacial eyes as they hardened over with stubbornness.
“Tommy, love, we both know it would fix all of these problems…”
“As we’ve already discussed to exhaustion.” His jaw ticked. “I won’t do it.”
“Sweetheart,” she broke eye contact with him to look down at the papers settled in her lap. Her hands fiddled with her rings, gaze glued to the infernal numbers emblazoned upon the reports, as if staring at them hard enough would cause them to shift and change. “It’s not getting any better. If anything, it’s only going to get worse.”
“The constituents don’t seem to care,” he huffed, reaching into his pocket for his cigarette case. “Considering that they elected me.”
She frowned. “Because we bribed your way in. And besides, I’m not sure if a lot of them even knew then. You weren’t exactly shouting your marital status and Ruby’s parentage from the rooftops.” Not that he’d hid it, per say. He just avoided discussing it during the campaign and while in settings related to his work. “And they might not care now, but what about when your political rivals start harping about it in the press? They’re already using it to try to shut you out of certain things. Not to mention that arsehole from Oxford who keeps using it to try to cut down all your arguments in the house.”
“Fucking ridiculous,” Tommy shook his head, lighting his cigarette and releasing a puff of smoke from his lips up towards the ceiling.
They were seated in his office in the House of Commons, the big wooden double doors that led out into the workroom that she shared with the other secretary, Adam, closed. Not that they needed to be. Adam had already gone home for the evening, as had most of the other MPs and their staff. No one would be interrupting them. It was late, nothing but darkness and a flickering streetlight visible out the window.
She was still getting used to spending her days working in the offices of the House of Commons rather than the betting shop or the office in Birmingham. While the general decor and design of the building was not all that dissimilar–outside of just being bigger–there was something distinctively different about this place. A stuffiness and sense of propriety that served as a thin veil for the egos and superiority that radiated from so many of the men who sauntered through its halls. It was a bit of a shock to go from Small Heath, where just about everyone knew her name and she was decidedly near the top of the food chain as far as both authority and respect goes, to here where she was lucky if the MP just next door could even remember her name. In these offices, she was not the Red Demon, or even Lucy Winters. Here she was just Thomas Shelby’s Assistant. And was treated as such.
It wasn’t all bad, of course. She still got to spend most of her days at Tommy’s side, and the work was not that different from what she’d been doing for him before.
“I agree, but that’s the way that things are, love.” She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “And your constituents do care. That’s what these numbers are all about,” she nodded to the report in her lap. “More and more of them indicated that while they’re happy with your performance and policies, they’re troubled by your conduct regarding your personal life.” She held out the papers, and he took them with a reluctant sigh, pulling his glasses from his pocket and sliding them onto his nose so he could look them over himself.
“Doing…doing this,” Lucy swallowed, unable to bring herself to utter the thing that, ever since Ruby’s birth–and certainly ever since he was elected–hovered threateningly over them. The guillotine teetering precariously above their heads. “It would help improve your standing with the more traditional and family focused members of your constituents. And might even open up some more doors for you here with the conservative MPs. God knows we already have a hard enough time working with them.” Bunch of racist, classist dickheads was what they were. All too eager to look down their nose at the man who had clawed his way from the bowels of Small Heath’s dirty streets to the halls of power. They already had enough reasons to attempt to shut Tommy out, they really didn’t need to be giving them anymore ammunition.
Tommy met her eyes, and she saw a crack appear in his resolve. Deep down, they both knew that she was right. This needed to be done.
Even if it was going to break both their hearts.
Tommy closed his eyes, head tilting up as he released another stream of smoke from his lips. His brow pinched with stress, the skin around his temples tightening.
She forced herself to be strong. “You know just as well as I do how important image is to the people we’re now surrounded by. And to the people you’ve been elected to serve. We can’t just…shrug off what other people think of our personal lives anymore. Presenting the image of a proper family will solve nearly all the current problems outlined in those numbers.”
His lips pursed. He was not seated behind his desk, but rather in the chair next to hers in front of it, one leg crossed over the other. One of his hands lifted to touch the side of his face, thumb moving across his lips while he examined her shrewdly and listened to her argument.
“We can’t ignore this forever. It has the potential to ruin everything you’ve worked so hard for.” She looked him hard in the eye, beseeching him to understand. He still just stared at her, clearly fighting against the knowledge that he knew she was right. “There’s only one clear solution that I can see that fixes pretty much all problems at once.”
How many times had they discussed this? Too many to count. And he always shot the idea down instantaneously. When Polly tried to push it harder on one of their more recent meetings, he’d nearly ripped her head off.
“Look, you know what my suggestion for a solution is. If you have any others, I’m happy to hear them.” She was suddenly in dire need of a cigarette. Sensing her need, Tommy silently held out the one clutched between his fingers towards her. She took it with a noticeably unsteady hand, bringing it gratefully to her lips. Tommy watched all of her movements closely, knuckles pressed up against his lips, frown still firmly in place. Picking up the report of his approval numbers, his eyes skimmed over the front page once more before tossing it onto his desk, removing his glasses and putting them back in his pocket.
The silence while he mulled over her words seemed to stretch on forever, only interrupted by the rhythmic ticking of the clock on the mantle. Lucy had to fight back the desire to fill it with more near nonsensical babbling.
Why was she even arguing for this so bloody hard? She should be happy that he’d instantly dismissed the suggestion the very first time that she brought it up. Hell, she was, from a purely selfish standpoint.
Tommy’s hand dropped from where it was resting against his lips to take one of hers, thumb running along her knuckles.
“I don’t want to marry Lizzie,” he said softly.
She met his gaze sadly. “I know.” I don’t want you to marry her either. But she knew if she told him that, she would never manage to convince him to go through with it. He’d refuse forever all on account of her feelings, even if it meant that he could lose everything he’d worked so hard for.
The idea that he could lose it all and it would be her fault made her feel sick with guilt.
“But we’re being backed into a corner here, love,” she chose her words carefully. “Being unmarried with an illegitimate child makes some of your constituents think that you don’t value families. If you want to stop your approval numbers from dipping, and even have a shot at reelection in a few years…”
“I haven’t even thought about reelection, yet.”
She gave him a look that was both stern and fond in equal measure. “Now, we both know that isn’t true.”
His lips quirked upwards slightly, eyes warming at how well she knew him. But when he scooted closer to her, sadness quickly leaked back into his expression, lips turning downwards.
“I don’t love her.”
“I know,” she repeated, feeling even worse at the spark of relief that statement brought her. Poor Lizzie.
He shot her a look of deep, unending regret, brushing some hair out of her face. Her eyes fluttered at the warm press of his palm against her cheek when he cupped it. “I promised you that I wouldn’t marry her,” he whispered.
“You said that you didn’t plan to,” she corrected, recalling the conversation when he first informed her of Lizzie’s pregnancy. The things he’d murmured to her whilst holding her on the floor of their bedroom while she cried. “Plans can change.”
“I am not leaving you,” there was zero room for argument in his voice, jaw shifting stubbornly.
“Lizzie might not agree to marry you if you don’t.”
Tommy shook his head. “It’ll be a marriage of convenience only. You and me still being able to be together is non-negotiable. I’m not budging on that.”
She smiled a little in spite of herself at his devotion, leaning her face deeper into his palm. “It feels terribly unfair to her.”
“She can always say no if she really can’t handle it. We’ll be clear about what it’ll all entail, so she doesn’t get the wrong idea about any of it meaning something between me and her. Besides, she’s been warmer towards you lately.”
That was true. Though who knew how long that would actually last.
Scooting his chair closer to hers, Tommy leaned forward, holding her face with both hands, forehead resting against hers.
“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” he asked urgently. Lucy swallowed hard. The thought of watching him stand up at an altar and make vows and promises to another woman, of having to live under the same roof as Lizzie and share him with her for the rest of their lives…
It burned harshly in her chest, cracks forming in her already fragile heart.
But she could live with it. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make if it meant that Tommy would not lose all he’d worked so extremely hard to achieve.
Maybe…maybe it actually wouldn’t be all that bad. He was right that Lizzie had been kinder and more amicable towards her as of late. Perhaps she would even be agreeable to all three of them sharing a bed from time to time, like they used to. And it would be nice to have Ruby in the same house as them so they could see her more. She and Charlie could be raised as proper siblings.
“Yes,” she said, unknowingly sealing both their fates. “So long as we don’t have to break up.”
“I won’t ever let that happen,” Tommy promised. She leaned in closer to him, hands resting on his forearms. Tommy gave her a little tug. “Come here,” drawing her from her chair, he pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her and burying his face in her hair. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she murmured into his chest, arms winding around his neck. “I hate to say ‘I told you so,’ but…”
He snorted, lightly pinching her hip. “Yeah, yeah.” Lips ghosting across her temple, he silently urged her face back enough so that he could kiss her softly. “I mean it. I won’t let us be torn apart.”
A small smile pulled at her lips, his reassurance like a band-aid over her fracturing heart while he kissed her again.
∗ ∗ ∗
“Well,” Lizzie said, adjusting her fingers around her cigarette, straightening in her chair. Even sitting down, she looked tall, the way in which she sat with her spine entirely straight only adding to the effect. She looked between Tommy and Lucy seated before her at the other side of the round table in front of the fireplace in Tommy’s Birmingham office. “That’s one hell of a way to propose to someone.”
Lucy winced a little at the underlayer of bitterness in Lizzie’s voice, looking down at her hands in shame.
“Technically you aren’t being proposed to until we know that you agree to our…conditions,” Tommy was much less phased by Lizzie’s reaction, puffing on his cigarette whilst eyeing her from around the vase of deep red roses on the table between them.
“I’m pretty sure that I know what those are already,” Lizzie huffed, shifting in her seat, briefly glancing at the fire crackling away in the hearth. She looked back at them, and gave a little gesture with the hand holding her cigarette for him to continue. “But let’s hear them anyway.”
Tommy adjusted himself in his seat, leaning forward with one of his arms resting on the table. When he spoke, his voice had taken on the commanding edge that Lucy had heard him use when giving orders to his men or family members.
“After we are married, you and Ruby will come to live at Arrow House. You will enjoy all luxuries that the home and the title as my wife offers. All we expect is that you help take care of the children and manage things that have to do with the household. You can continue to hold a position on the company’s board, if you’d like. But most importantly,” he glanced over at Lucy, holding her gaze steadfastly before turning back to Lizzie, “Lucy and I will still get to be together.”
The area around Lizzie’s lips tightened slightly. “So you aren’t offering me a real marriage, but only one of convenience.”
To his credit, Tommy did not flinch away from her stern, accusing gaze. “Yes; that’s exactly what I’m offering you.”
Lizzie leaned back into her chair, nursing at her cigarette as she contemplated. Lucy struggled to meet her gaze when it shifted periodically over to her, guilt roiling through her like a tempestuous storm. She’d never been able to shake the feeling that if she were not around, Tommy and Lizzie may have actually stood a chance together. And she was pretty certain that Lizzie thought the same exact thing.
“I want you to promise that you will be discreet,” Lizzie finally said very slowly. “I will not be publicly humiliated by my husband openly fucking another woman.”
“Of course,” Lucy nodded. They already had toned down most displays of physical affection whilst in public, presenting instead as simply colleagues who happened to be good friends. Gestures of romance were saved for behind closed doors. It was not unlike it was prior to Grace’s death, when the three of them had to practice restraint to avoid a scandal. “And we’re willing to make accommodations to make sure you and Ruby are comfortable.”
“Within reason,” Tommy interjected quickly.
“I want a honeymoon,” Lizzie said decisively. “A real one. With just you and me.” Her eyes wavered from Tommy to fix on Lucy, then darted back to him. Lucy thought she caught a glimpse of pleading in her face.
The mere idea of them going on a romantic vacation together without her left insecurity brewing beneath her skin, but Lucy forced herself to ignore it. Considering what they were asking of her, it felt like it was the least that they could do. “Okay.”
Tommy shot her a glance. “We’ll have to talk about it,” he modified.
Lizzie nodded. “Of course.” The clock on the mantle chimed. “I have to head home. I promised the nanny I’d be back by half past five. I can come by this weekend to work out more of the details if you’d like.”
“Yes, that would be good. You have a ride home?” Tommy asked, both he and Lucy standing after Lizzie stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and rose to her feet.
“Yes, Skudboat offered to drop me off.”
“Right. We’ll see you this weekend, then.”
“Give Ruby a kiss from us,” Lucy requested timidly. Lizzie shot her a smile that actually seemed half genuine.
“I will.”
They bid her goodbye, Lucy waiting until the door swung shut behind her before sinking exhaustedly back into her chair. She was struck at how transactional the whole exchange had been. Like ironing out a business deal rather than arranging a marriage.
The floorboards creaked under Tommy’s heavy footsteps as he approached her. Reaching out, he rubbed a hand up and down on her upper arm, bending to kiss her forehead.
“Are you alright?”
She stuffed the guilt bubbling up within her back down, locking it away in a far corner of her mind. “Yeah.”
“I can get out of the honeymoon if it makes you uncomfortable. Or insist that you come along.”
“It’s fine,” she probably said it too quickly to be convincing. “It’s the least that we can do for her, considering.”
“I don’t like the idea of going without you.”
“Me neither,” she admittedly, finally looking up to meet his concerned blue orbs. “But it’s just one week.” She knew him better than to expect that he’d be willing to take more than that off work. “We’ll live.”
He stroked her face tenderly, brow furrowing slightly. “You don’t have to give her everything that she wants. I know that you feel bad, even though you really shouldn’t, but…” he trailed off, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, thumb brushing down her cheek. “If she pushes too far, if she’s unkind to you, or asks for something you aren’t comfortable with, all you have to do is tell me, and I’ll take care of it, alright?”
Nodding, she turned her face to kiss the center of his palm. “Thank you,” covering his hand with hers, she smiled weakly. “Congratulations on your engagement.”
“Ugh,” he made a face as though he’d just been told he was sentenced to be executed, rather than engaged to be married, and dropped his head forward until it was resting against her shoulder. Lucy wrapped her arms around him, burrowing her face into his hair, breathing in the scent of his soap and cologne. “I wish it was you,” he mumbled sorrowfully against her throat, and for a dreadful moment Lucy actually thought that she might start to cry.
“I know.” And though she did not say it–for fear that if she did, he would call the whole damn thing off and throw his reputation and all professional prospects in the bin–they both knew the words circulating within her head:
Me too.
When he first brought up the topic of marriage, all the way back in 1918, before Grace had even walked into their lives, she had told him that it was not something she was sure that she wanted. She was still living with the trauma of being previously engaged to a monster who hurt and abused her, and the only example of marriage she’d had was the loveless, horrific mess that was her parents. It was something he’d respected, unconcernedly promising that marriage or no marriage, he would still love her forever.
After Grace died, the topic had passed briefly every once in a while across her mind. With times changing and modern perspectives growing in popularity, it was no longer a necessity that she stop working if she were married. And with the slow passage of time, the idea of marriage no longer seemed to her like a cage to be bound and gagged within. She knew that Tommy would never expect her to change simply because he placed a ring on her finger.
But she didn’t bring it up to him, both of them were still aching too terribly from Grace’s death. It was too soon. For them personally, for Charlie, and for either of their reputations.
And then the vendetta had happened. And for a bit of fun they took Lizzie down to the canal for a fuck like they so often did before Grace stepped into their lives.
If only she hadn’t still been so messed up on the topic the first time that he asked. If only she’d expressed her changing feelings on the matter with him before Lizzie got pregnant. Maybe things would be different.
She could not say anything about it now. If she did, he would abandon this plan that was poised to solve so many problems for him. Not to mention that marrying her instead of Lizzie would create a whole new set of issues for him to deal with, some with the potential to wreck everything he’d accomplished.
It was too late.
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#tommy shelby#thomas shelby#tommy shelby x oc#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy shelby series#tommy shelby imagine#peaky blinders#peaky blinders fanfic#peaky blinders series#peaky blinders imagine#cillian murphy
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well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job
#maybe i should just become unemployed. maybe i should just suffer!#recap of todays further events .#that supervisor? who i kinda didnt already like but now absolutely hate?#she came down to confirm that i wasnt leaving. okay . and then she fucking tells me#oh we're going to get another person to help out from this other company. we were going to do that bc we thought you were leaving#but she thinks that even if im staying there should be another person on this floor. bc apparently more has to be done#and there are 'constant complaints' abt this floor . which doesnt make sense to me bc there shouldnt be#and so we're waiting to see what the manager decides but hes on fucking vacation and wont get back until. next week??#she said she was gonna email him and like right after she left i emailed and texted him explaining everything#and trying to very nicely say hey what the fuck are you doing you don't need to hire anyone else#and if im doing a bad job fucking tell me so i can do it better. bitch#and she had the nerve to fucking tell me when she was talking to me#that i wont find an easier job than this one#well if its so fucking easy why are we hiring someone else#by the way getting that extra person from this other company doesnt cost them anything which is why theyre doing it i think#which is making me not feel good abt my own future lmao. like why would they keep paying me when they can get someone for free#and she was saying all this stuff like oh you have it so good here we dont write you up i do all this stuff to help you like . ok#i didnt ask you to come downstairs w the coffee order and if you wanted me to i would come up . god#but the thing of me not being able to find a better job like wow! what if i killed you. for saying that to my face#and she talks abt how shes been w the company 20 years ok and that doesnt give you an excuse to treat me like a child. jesus#anyway im very pissed off and not enjoying my work situation lol. i dont wanna do this anymore#but looking at other jobs im so unemployable. sigh
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thoughts in the tags. genuine reflection of the season so far. not with any malice. more slightly sad resignation and a reminder to feel joy.
this is just a tv show after all <3
#i have been biting my tongue so hard i've tasted blood all season and i just need to reflect for a sec#y'all are being so vindictive this season and i don't get it? buck being tommy's first was obvious from the get go and no tommy is not a ba#character or person and no the relationship wasnt bad#it was there for buck to feel safe and to feel queer joy#tommy protecting his own heart is not negative either and buck will go on in his bi journey with the safe joyful memory even though he#wanted more#like this was not about neither buddie or bucktommy#this arc was about BUCK and the beginning of him being himself#i enjoyed the tommy time and i'm gonna enjoy whatever happens next and i obviously would love buddie endgame#but i BEG you all to just embrace joy and stop souring this experience for yourself and each other and us who are just enjoying Everything#i'm sick of this pissing contest no one even knows the territories anymore cuz it all just stinks#the bullying the sniping the 'i never lose' bla bla bla#like aren't you all tired#this is not coming from a higher than thou place. but i observe and i see you all. and i'm just? yk remember when we all just wanted buck t#have a nice relationship while we had to deal with taylor? YALL REMEMBER TAYLOR?!#has this really been so bad? we literally live in a world where buck kisses men#or have you forgotten the joy we felt when that happened#my point is several things can be good at the same time#the bucktommy was good for buck's queer development and the buddie signs are good for OBVIOUS reason#just a little reminder there is joy in most things#you can obviously feel whatever you want to feel but just.... remember joy#ok bisous#ANYWAYS eddie in tighty whities ey. crazy
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Neta: *sigh*....... .......
Ikkan: nervous?
Neta:......a little bit yeah.....
Ikkan: *hehehe*...... Don't be nervous, you have nothing to be nervous about I'll be right here.... And after this I'll be here forever
Neta: till death do us part
Ikkan: till death do us part...(Peck).... Fix your tie....and ..... perfect.....now.......let's get married
[wedding music]
officiant: Good evening everyone, friends family we are guided here today to celebrate life's greatest moments and to cherish the words which shall unite Neta Verns
Neta: *smiling*.....*sniff*.......hehe
Officiant: and Ikkan Kane
Ikkan: *smiling*.....*sigh*.....
Officiant: you would like to exchange your vows
Neta: I'd like to go..............*sigh*...... ikkan.... I always look back and remember the first time we first met.
Ikkan: heheh
Neta: you were very standoffish and quiet heh You're also a little bit mean just a little bit
Ikkan: heheh
Neta: If something told me that that really wasn't you. I'm so happy My hunch was right. Ikkan You're kind, You're soft-spoken, you're so patient ....*crying*... I'm sorry........ Getting to see you everyday. Your smile, hearing your laugh and listening to you speak ....*sniff*...about your interest. Your passionate rants about Arpeggio and crescendo I still don't know what that means but I love hearing you say it....
Ikkan: ehhehehehe
Neta: that's the smile I like to see.... I love you Ikkan you're my best friend and I am truly grateful I'm going to live the rest of my life with you I-
[Alright he's been in there long enough. Pull him up]
Neta: what!?......... what!?..... what's happening!!....*cough*.....….*cough*.....what the fuck!!... what's going on?!
Octoling Superior: alright Verns you've been in the pit long enough. Time to get back to training. All chargers are outside doing target practice. Take your weapon and go out with the rest of them.
Neta: what?
Octoling Superior: go outside and do tragic practice. Your punishment is over go
Neta: but-but-but I was getting married! *huff* Where's my husband?! My store?! I had a store and my family.....*huff*..*huff*.... Cirrina......my daughter ......what happened to my crab cakes?!!.*huff*.......
Octoling soldier: *hehe* what's he talking about?
Octoling Superior: I've heard if you stay in the ink pit long enough without interaction the brain starts to hallucinate and starts making things up......to keep it self sane. He'll be fine.
Neta:*huff*huff**huff**sobbing**huff**huff**huff**huffhuffhuffhufff......AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaah-HA!!.. what?…..huh?..................*huff*.........................*huff*...................*huff*............*huff*.........*huff*.......*huff*........ where is it? Where is it?... here.....*huff*...[squeeze]
Plushie recording: Hi! Demersal the grounding fish! I'm going to ask a few questions ok?... can you name 3 you can see?
Neta:... my dresser......*huff*...my bed....my bass
Recording:.............good job!.....can you tell 3 things you can feel?
Neta:...my bed sheets....my clothes....*huff*....cold floor.....
Recording:..........okay!!....can you tell me where you are?
Neta:......*sigh*....my apartment
Recording:...............good job! Do you know what time it is? The short hand is the hour and the long hand is the minute!
Neta: I know that.... it's...6:47a.m.
Recording:.............. wow! Now can tell me about yourself how old are you!
Neta: ......................35.......
Recording: .........wow! wow!you're so big!
Neta: fuckyou
Recording:what's your name?
Neta: Neta
Recording:.........that's a nice name! We're almost done let's count back to 10 together! Ready?!10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
Neta 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1......uggghh
Recording: you're doing so well let's take a deep breath ok? Breath in.....
Neta: [inhale]
Recording: now Breath out
Neta: [exhale]
Recording: you are safe.... I'm so proud of you! It's ok to feel overwhelmed sometimes. I know it can be really hard.. just Remember your grounding technique and don't forget to self-sooth!...stay safe hehe bye bye
Neta: you're lucky Behi gifted you to me...if it wasn't for him you would've been sold decades ago.........[chuck] ..............[inhale] [exhale]................ nibbles come here......Did I scare you off the bed?....*kiss*.. . I'm sorry..............hm?...
Mahi:*sleeping*....
Neta: heheh...*huff*...fish still here?.......heh makes sense...
_______________________________________________
Mahi: *yawn*..........ummm....uggg....... Neta you need to get a better couch this one sucks.....oh....
Neta: no.... I don't want you to come home... Not for something as dumb as a nightmare ..hehe....I'm fine.I know..i know I know babe I get that... You shouldn't have to drop everything for me..... I know you don't mind it but I do.... I hate that.... yeah I understand........ yeah........ yeah............................. You're right.......................*sigh*....no......I still don't want you to come home..... Can you at least stay on the phone with me for a while?....... Pancakes... I think I buried some hehehehe.....*sigh*... No.... it looks fine. A little dark in the middle..... It should be fine... You cook better than I do..... What are you doing?..... Why are you milking them by hand I thought you had a machine for that........ Oh she's scared of it? awwww poor manatee......... An hour? it takes an hour to get a full bucket of milk?....... Okay that's fair. They are big...I-(gasp).... Mahi!..[inhale exhale]........ How long have you been sitting there
Mahi: couple minutes..... Can I have a pancake
Neta:. .................... Yeah, I'm fine. No, it's just my employee, yeah fish still here......... I'll call you when I get to work..... I love you too...bye................... How many pancakes do you want?
_______________________________________________
Mahi: *eating*......
Neta:*eating*.......
Mahi: *eating*.... pancakes are good
Neta: *eating* thank you
Mahi: how do to make them shape like little octopuses
Neta:...Cirrina bought cookie cutter sets years ago. sometimes use them for molds for pancakes..... I use it for eggs too...*sniff*...........*sigh*............ I have to get ready for work.....[stretch].......[POP]...mmmmm......fuck not today knee...ssssss
Mahi:...*eating*....you know you really should try investing in a knee brace I think my friend has a couple of them I can see if she can give you one
Neta: that's nice........
Mahi: so I know you have to go to work and everything in a couple minutes. Would it be too much to ask to drive me to campus I got to go to the library and do some studying
Neta: Alright..... We'll leave 15 minutes... Do you have clothes to get dressed in?
Mahi: no
Neta: we can just find something in the drawer.....
Mahi: can I borrow these jeans?
Neta: Yeah sure. I don't think they don't fit you tho
Mahi: they fit me just fine I just need to cut the pants legs
Neta: *sigh*. . You know you might as well just take the rest of my old clothes. I'm never going to fit em again anyway
Mahi: really?
Neta: yeah really I insist I really don't care. You can have them
Mahi: are you sure?....
Neta: you know what I'll just give them to my daughter she doesn't listen to 'Cyrus in the cyclones' but I think she'll like the Cool vintage look of it
Mahi: no gimme! Don't give it to her! She'll just ruin it and turn it into a jagged uneven crop top! _______________________________________________
Ikkan: I finished milking tulip
Koi-koi: That's good hun. We'll have it pasteurized tomorrow. Just keep it in the fridge in the shed
Ikkan: alright
Cirrina: I'm going out..
Koi-koi: and where do you think you're going?
Cirrina: I need to go into the city The ferry leaves in an hour
Koi-koi: I don't think so. You haven't finished your chores you were supposed to refill the Manatee feed today and You're supposed to mix up the compost in the back.
Cirrina: I know I'll get to when I get back
Koi-koi: noooo... You will do it now. Young lady, I'm not like your father or your grandfather when I say do something you do it now. You can take the next ferry
Cirrina: but I-
Koi-koi: no buts young lady
Cirrina: I'm meeting someone
Koi-koi: meeting who Exactly?
Cirrina:.............a friend
Koi-koi: ....a friend? What friend?
Cirrina: (blush)......he's a boy
Koi-koi: a boy?.....
Cirrina: ... yeah....
Koi-koi: where is he taking you?
Cirrina: a museum, around town
Koi-ko:........ A museum?........................................,........ Be home by 9:00......... Here get yourself some food maybe a souvenir.
Cirrina: you're cool grandma....
Koi-koi: uh-huh whatever...... When you get home you'll do the chores that you were supposed to do and..... You wash the dishes
Cirrina: alright
_______________________________________________
Baja: did you see the commercial mom?
Baja's mom: I saw the commercial... I am so proud of you sweetheart You're going to be on TV how exciting
Baja: I know ... I still can't believe it
Baja's mom: this is going to open up so many opportunities. The benefits will be nice. You have a nice paycheck and a lot of money, make sure you save some of it. You're going to make so many new friends!!
Baja: yeah hehe I hope I do...
Baja's mom: I know you have problems making friends.
Baja: mmmmm
Baja's mom: You're a sweet boy you really are
Baja: thank mom
Baja mom: you know this might be the perfect time for you to find someone
Baja: fine who?
Baja's mom: A partner! Ohhhhhh I'm so happy for you honey. You can go on dates. You can meet new people. You'll be married in no time?
Baja: uhhhhh I guess....... I'm going to be really honest Mom. I don't really think I want to do that right now
Baja's mom: Well I don't want to rush you but it's good to start... You know your brother is already married and your sister is on her fifth kid...
Baja: Mom
Hine (Baja's mom): I know. I know I shouldn't compare my kids but let me just finish. Your siblings are no older than you and they've already have their lives set up and I don't want you to fall behind
Baja:Mom, I'm not falling behind. I-I just...ugh....... I'm just....... I'm just not good at dating and seeing people
Hine: What on Earth do you mean baby?! you're not good at dating? Honey, you're the most talkative and social person in the family! How could you think you're not good at dating? You're a real catch
Baja:.........
Hine: What about that fella you told me about? I looked him up, I didn't really like the images I saw .. what about him? I thought you liked him?
Baja: We broke up
Hine: you broke up?....*sigh*...... So you're single?........ So what are you just......... Are you just sleeping around?
Baja: (blush)..NO! I'M NOT
Hine:Sweetie, don't be embarrassed. A lot of young adults have casual sex ...I'm just saying you know eventually you need to settle down and-
Baja:I'm not.. I'm not..... I'm not having sex. I never had it
Hine:....…Well that's ok. Personally I waited to get married to-
Sibling: HA! VIRGIN!
Hine: Maui! What did I tell you about eavesdropping! Go!.............*sigh*....... Sweetheart..... I don't want to put pressure on you sweetie...... I just don't want you to be alone we're not good when we're alone... I want you to have a family
Baja: I'm not alone. I have a family. I have you and my siblings..........and Desmond I guess
Hine: we can't live forever honey you're going to need to find someone eventually.
Baja:................... alright..... I'll try to find someone...
Hine: I know you'll find someone there's someone out there for everyone including you sweetie....
Baja: ........ yeah.....l love you.... bye
Hine: I love you too
Baja:.....................danm
Hitch: we're filming in 15!
_______________________________________________
Bayou: this painting is a. Self-portrait of Joyce Veair she was our firat prime minister
Cirrina: wow... she's gorgeous she painted this herself
Bayou: Yes... She has so many paintings around the world. She even has one in Museum d'Alfonsino
Cirrina: really...... She's very talented.
Bayou: not only that, she was very intelligent and very outspoken....
Cirrina: what's this one
Bayou: this is a sculpture made entirely out of urchin spines it was made by tosh monui. Every month he'd shed his old spines. He would collect them and Stick them in a ball of wax until the ball was completely covered in spineies. After he'd take the rest to make a body, he would call them mace men because they look like maces with a body. He soon started to model them after cave drawings of primitive urchin
Cirrina: that's amazing....oh what's this one. This one is beautiful
Bayou: this one is called 'home'
Cirrina: it's a beautiful landscape....who is by?....... This piece was painted by One of the top students in krillarney School of arts and it's one of the youngest to be presented in This museum she has won several awards and has several nominations. We are privileged to have her in a museum This piece is called home by Bayou Ster..............wow same name as you
Bayou:.........ehehehehehe Cirrina. That's me this is my work.
Cirrina: oh..hehehe I'm stupid........ It's really nice. You're really talented....
Bayou: thank you.... This is one of my favorite paintings I used an old picture of my nan's old home.
Cirrina: I love the texture and the hills and trees. It's even in the river.... Do you have more paintings here?
Bayou: I have this big painting over here. This one took me a whole month to finish this one..... I rode the fairy everyday just to get the perfect reference for crashing waves
Cirrina: wow .. . it's amazing
Bayou: it's almost 6 do you want to get something to eat. We can go to Mrs Cuddles to get some fried cod and hush puppies
Mrs Cuddles: Harold, bring these pines to table 7!...
Bayou: hi Mrs Cuddles!
Mrs Cuddles: Bayou how are you darling, Cirrina! Ohhhh... You two hungry? Let me get you something Harold, drop two more cod in the fryer!!..... You to relax. I'll get you ladies some sodas while you wait
Bayou: thank you!
Cirrina: thanks............................................. So you're probably going to think I'm really dumb but for the past 3 days I thought you were a guy
Bayou:.............hehehehe Did you?.must be the tentacle cut huh?
Cirrina: hehehe... yeah...hehehe... I'm sorry.....
Bayou: If I'm being real here I don't identify with anything in particular...if you see me as a guy I don't mind it
Cirrina: if you don't identify as that I don't want to
Bayou: I see myself as everything and nothing, masculine and feminine and anything in-between. I really don't mind Cirrina
Cirrina: All right if you put it that way hehehe
Mrs Cuddles: here you go! Fresh cod and a large bag of hush puppies for the road!
Cirrina: thanks how much do I owe you?
Mrs Cuddles: nonsense it's on the house. Kiddies eat for free here. Once you reach the age to drink you have to pay
Cirrina: thanks Mrs Cuddles!....
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Neta: *humming*...(Pat)..*humming*....(Pat)......
Ona:.........
Candi: *snoring*........*snoring*.......
Tv
Baja:What is music at midnight? Well as the names in the title says we're going to be talking about music and it's going to be airing during midnight.
Announcer: music at midnight a new late night talk show! Premieres tonight only on O.E.T!
Neta:.....*sigh*....... ikkan would love this show. .........me and him cuddling watching TV at midnight. Under a blanket surrounded by pillows...................... I miss him....
Ona: [baby noises]
Neta: yeah? You would like the show too Ona?
Bowie: what are you watching?
Neta: Bowie go back to bed. It's past your bedtime, go back upstairs with your mom
Bowie: but she snores too loud!
Neta: Bowie.. .... okay
Bowie: what's in this room?
Neta: noooo that's my daughter's room you can't go in there....let's sit down on the couch..... come on........(click).....why don't we watch 'Ollie? ...you like Ollie
Bowie: alright
Tv
[Music]........Mom!..[music].......Dad!.........[music].......Leo!......[music]...........OLLIE!
Bowie: hehe
Neta: you need to lay down. try to get some sleep before your dad picks you up. You start preschool soon, you need a proper sleep schedule.
Bowie: okay
Ona: [fussy baby noises]
Neta: you need to sleep too young lady ......
Ona [crying]
Neta: someone is hungry..... Come on baby girl. Let's get you something to eat and fresh dia-(gasp).....*sigh*..... I need to put a bell on you
Mahi: I need to finish my homework I won't be annoying I promise.
Neta: where's Baja should he be at home with you?
Mahi: He's at work... They're doing a test stream or something or whatever
Ona: [crying]
Neta:.......*sigh*... Alright ........ I have some left overs in the fridge if you want anything.... Can you watch Bowie? Just make sure he's sleeping or watching TV as long as he's quiet.....
Mahi: ......(typing) alright
Neta: come on Ona....
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Cirrina: ..... that was pretty good
Bayou: Yes I go there every other Sunday....
Cirrina: I leave on Sunday.... Maybe I can get another one before I leave....... Is that a music store?
Bayou: The old music store? Ye.....you play an instrument?
Cirrina: I play the cello .... It's nothing impressive really..... Second chair trying to get first chair in high school
Bayou: wow I'd like to see you play
Cirrina: no...nooo I-I couldn't .... You were going to take me to the cafe
Bayou: come on... Let's go inside....... We have plenty of time
Cirrina: ehhhhhh ok..... ...
Bayou: excuse me do you have a Cello we can try out?
Employees: sure.....hol up...let meh jest.......unlock.....here ya are..... .
Bayou: here you go Cirrina
Cirrina: [playing Bach: Cello Suite No. 1]
Bayou: [clap]...[clap] ...wow brains and beauty
Cirrina: (blush)..........you don't mean that
Bayou: I do .... You really talented
Cirrina: hehehe.............
Bayou:................
Cirrina: It's getting dark. I need to go home.
Bayou: Yeah why don't I take you to the cafe and get something to go and I can walk you to the ferry....{takes hand}
Cirrina: I'd like that.
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Candi: mmmmmmm.....*yawn*........*huff*........(Squeak).....hm?
Plushie
Recording: I believe in you and your strength to keep fighting
Candi: Demersal?....... Do they still give these out?.....(Squeeze)
Recording: sometimes bad things happen and they're out of our control. It wasn't your fault
Candi: Cod I hated this thing ........ alright where are my kids? .... I'm well rested and ready to go........hey Neta..(toss)...
Neta:...ow......... hey........(Pat).......(Pat)......(Pat)
Bowie: *sleeping*..........
Candi: thanks for watching the kids. Donn had to go back to work today...*yawn*...... just needed a break..
Neta: no problem
Candi: how's Ona doing?
Ona:*sleeping*.......
Neta: she's fine......
Candi: .. That's good.. .... why do you still have this thing?
Neta: it was a gift... I got it when I was a kid...I just can't give it away
Candi:............
Neta: What! Ok what did you do with yours?
Candi: I ripped out the voice box and gave it to Bowie. He then threw up on it so I threw it away. Kids...
Neta: yeah... I had an old blanket I used to wrap her in. One blowout later and it was in the trash
Candi: hehehehe... Don't you just love being a parent sometimes?
Neta: heheheh.... Don't tell her I told you that she would kill me.. hehehdhe
Mahi:.......guys
Candi: hi mahi..........
Mahi: hey
Candi: ....... Donn's outside I got to get going.... Neta do you mind?
Neta: *scooping up Bowie*....yeeep let's go.....
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Cirrina: I really enjoyed this.. I had fun.
Bayou: I had fun too Cirrina. I really like you
Cirrina: I like you too ..........................
Bayou:...............
Cirrina:...........
Bayou:..........*leaning in*............[kiss].....
Cirrina: [kiss]........ Hehehe
Bayou: hehehehehe
Cirrina: (blush)..... I- I need to go....uh
Bayou: I'll text you.......[peck]
Cirrina: bye......
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Neta: alright!! Drive safe!!!!.....*sigh*......... mahi go home.
Mahi: I just got here! And I'm not being annoying. Please can I stay just one more night please
Neta: No, I didn't sleep well last night and I just had to babysit two kids. Let me have my peace. You've been staying here for a week. You practically live here. I need to clean up, I need to do the dishes and vacuum the floor, laundry .. I need to clean out nibbles's box. I need to make this place look like I wasn't wallowing in my own loneliness. All right
Mahi: you can do that when I'm here. It's not going to bother you
Neta: mahi goooooo home.....
Mahi: please can I say one more night please? I won't complain about the couch
Neta: no..... good bye
Mahi: but my apartment is quiet. You complain about wallowing in your loneliness. What about me you don't think I'm wallowing
Neta: get a pet or something ... (SLAM)
Mahi: (bang).....(bang)...... Where do I get a pet
Neta:AAAAAAAAAHHHH........*sigh*.. . . You can stay. This is your last night here. Tomorrow I will take you to the pet store after work pick out whatever you want and leave me alone..
Mahi: thanks Neta!
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@fish-at-fish-fish-resort mahi go home
#ok so demersal is based off this plush my grandma gave me.#i used to get really bad panic attacks so she gave this bear that had her voice recordings of grounding technique#she also put in corny things like it's ok to cry I have a very love-hate relationship with it so yeah#demersal the grounding fish was based off a teddy bear my grandma gave me#except this is more shallow and empty and is given to soldiers in military it's in all the hospital/ e-ward gifts shops#it's kida like a write of passage (inside joke) in the military to give fellow soldiers the fish plush#as a good job you passed training/ graduated/ survived a very traumatic event#behi gave it to Neta unironically#and ironically#mahi on the emo to punk pipe line and what's more punk then wearing clothes older than you given by your manager#koi-koi being a girls girl letting her granddaughter skipped chores to go on a date#she wants to know everything about the date of course#Baja's mom means well she's just with the times schooling fish used to rely on marriage and dating to be social#now they just stay in their bosses apartment for long periods of time so they won't be alone or share beds with their roommate#i could be wrong feel free to correct me#that moment when you have your first kiss and sapphic experience overseas but if you told your friends they'd think you're lying#bayou the he/him lesbian teenage heart throb yay#I'm being honest I think I might make Cirrina a separate character from the rest of the story#but she's still going to be here but there's also going to be another one outside of this. just a personally mine idk#i want to work on a y2k aesthetic queer girl hood shit and Cirrina and Bayou are perfect for that#neta being the designated babysitter when the parent is at work or too tired to function#he even stayed in the mall after closing because Phoebe's mom had to go to work for an emergency#Ollie is a very obvious ripoff of bluey but that's what the kids and adults with parental issues love so whatever#some Candi lore I guess she went to a military school but never went into the military she's just a jrotc kid but not insufferable#mahi is getting a pet yay#'the pit' is a vat of ink if you misbehave you are put in the pit to dissolve in the ink and left there for a long amount of time#think of it as solitary confinement#neta
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here to tell you that im a yukari liker if there are 1000 yukari fans i am one of them if there are no yukari fans i do not exist idc she did all that shes still my silly my girlfailure
#i like that shes still a bitch to satoko after 13 🫶🫶🫶#in that tsundere way of oh let me do it cos im better than u u look like shit#i think she is so interesting.#like that interaction w asagiri just solidified my affection for her#because her relationship w asagiri is sooooooo ough#like her face when asagiri gives her the comb and she doesnt really believe it#she has this hesitance to accept that gift of affection right (i saw this comb and i thought of you)#and shes proven right because asagiri uses that to take advantage of her#hey have this comb now bring everything to my room#like yukari being. hesitant to accept affection from her sister is so so so telling i think#ok going into hc territory but i think thats why shinpei affects her this much#because she truly thought it was real and it was her only relationship w/o strings attached in a way#that he did everything she wanted and he said everything she said and wanted it said in return#and thats why when shinpei stops having sex w her shes like shit well was she being taken advantage of again was it fake like her sister#when she sees him talk to satoko and realises she never saw him that way#and he doesnt ask her to help w his wounds#and she doesnt want to acknowledge that it was one sided all along#that if satoko leaves then she can still pretend their relationship is real#anyway i think yukari and shinpei r similar in a way#and shinpei isnt lying when he says hes grateful to yukari#anyway i hope to see more of yukari!!!!!!!! i want more friendship w her and satoko!!!#i want yukari and shinpei to still be friends!!!!!!! In some way!!!#i dont want yukari to get another love interest because that person should be me (JOKE(#like yk her rs w her sister probs affects how she treats other ppl too#the need to be in control to be better than others always number 2#anyway. love yukari.#claude txt
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God istat is so so good fuckkk
#🎀.txt#ok spoiler zone in these tags please be warned#how this game humanizes its characters is so so unique and special#they're all based on classic rpg tropes on a base level sure#but the more you know about them and their lives and their problems and their personalities#you see that they are so much more than that#siffrin knew this to an extent too. even more than the player.#but then without you even realizing... they revert#they go back to being characters#ones with predetermined actions lines and feelings#ones that as the game goes on and Siffrin continues to get stronger... become less and less valuable to you#to the point where you skip everything you can#to the point where you can begin to quote them on even the most random possible dialog opportunities#and the thing about that... the thing about these beautiful characters becoming nothing more than something to skip through#to ignore#to treat as a burden#to space out during#is that siffrin is right there with you#these people aren't his friends. they aren't even characters anymore. they're actors in a play made to drive you insane.#so they act with them. they join this play#this never-ending play of insanity#and he plays his role WELL#to the point where you. the player. see the main character as an actor.#and siffrin sees themself as a disgusting manipulative liar playing his friends for fools.#no not even his friends#because they aren't their friends anymore#they're actors. they're fictional characters.#and siffrin misses and loves his FRIENDS. not whoever these... things are#because they aren't even actors anymore#because actors are people. and people change. these are just fictional characters now. and siffrin is stuck with them.
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thinking about daredevil yellow again im not. going to make it Guys.
#static.soundz#crying screaming and hitting the ground. so good. it made me cry really bad#bc whenever i think about jack n matt it always makes me think of me n my dad for various reasons#when matt said i couldnt feel his heartbeat inside me anymore. no words.#i rambled about it on my main but dd is very much intwined in an interesting and special way with my own heavy grief about my dad#and matt was a very important character to me during that time of my life for the exact same reason.#it's why i take a lot of very heavy issue when things try to make it so his dad died in his childhood as opposed to college#bc a) think it takes away a lot of the important nature of their relationship and b) my own personal projection#bc all grief at any stage is highly personal and unique and particular#but it really does feel like. matt is really just starting to become an adult (depending whether he dies when matt's in under or post grad)#(bc i can never remember which) but he's not quite a mega established one. there's still that lingering of childhood#so even though he's grown. it just hurts in a very particular way. they saw you grow up. but they didnt really see you become an adult.#they did not see the person you're going to be. that you are. that you're becoming. it feels like such a bizarre unfair moment in time.#bc why now? why not when i was younger? why not when i was truly an adult adult who is expecting to lose you now?#why at this moment and no other time?#but thinking about matt going i wish i told my dad how much i loved him.#more than anything when he goes 'i love you dad. did you hear? i love you.'#it made me cry like a fucking bitch. honest to god tearing up when i type about it. it wrenches my heart it twists it and it makes me wanna#drop to my knees and just weep and weep and weep. they are everything to me.#i have intertwined a lot of matt's grief with mine in a way that makes him so so so important to me. because as stupid as it fucking sounds#that comic and him as a character are everything to me. so genuinely. they were a lifeline my freshman year#when i was so depressed all i could do was read comics. or listen to music#i could do nothing else. i did. clearly. i did work and assignments. but dd was everything to me alongside dm#im sorry i am being an actual like nutbag in my tags im sorry i just have a lot of feelings. this story is everything to me ever ok? ok.
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DAN AND PHIL RETURN????????
#idk what I'm gonna do abt this /srs#like. I thought their videos were fun but that was 5 years ago so who knows about if I still will#and y'know obviously toxic community and annoying fans.#whatever I'll watch some and make a decision based on that I guess.#idc if they're cringe#well I mean. idc if it's cringe to watch them.#but Dan very much was leaning into that 'I'm a weirdo normal people scare me' thing that people who are only one degree removed from#normality do. so if he's leaned into that any more I don't think I'll be able to stand his 'I'm not a normie' normie ass. but I also know#he's been doing a lot of self-reflection and healing and whatever so maybe he'll be better now.#like he was so desperate to distance himself from who he used to be that he needed to make fun of everything he could have been perceived as#and make himself feel like he's better than people like that. everything from being 14 to being alternative to being a furry he needed to#make fun of all that cringe to prove that he wasn't that. y'know? he desperately wanted to be normal while still capitalizing on the 'I'm#different' thing. like his merch/clothing brand was all minimalist quirky-dark aesthetic for example. stuff you could 100% find in a big#chain store but seems just different enough for people who want to fit in but also look like they're cool and edgy and have unique opinions#like. he's the *woman in a pink tailored pantsuit* 'she's so butch!' of weird and alternative.#last I checked at least. like I said; I think he's been doing a lot of personal growth so maybe he's gotten more ok with actual weirdness.#man I didn't mean to rant in the tags here O_o sorry lol.#ThornShadow.said#(also for the record Phil is a little cringey but it's genuine so it's ok. as opposed to Dan trying to make everything 8 levels of ironic)
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