#he was going upstairs to get a gun to kill us all. as i always am because i'm deeply afraid of him

[selfinflictedgunshotwound]

dad just got mad at my brother for getting upset and saying he (my brother) was gonna kill himself and he (my dad) was literally screaming at the top of his lungs and saying he's already done more for us than any parent would ever do (mind you he has taught us no life skills and never helped either of us get jobs - i had to get a job through my own will. but i guess he drove me around so that counts apparently) because he lets us continue to live with him well into our adulthood deapite the fact WE DON'T EVEN WANT TO LIVE HERE like we actively ask for things that would make our lives here better or would help us get out and he flat-out refuses. The only reason he wants us around is because we're his property. Basically. And then he complains about his "property" getting mad at his and hating their lives bc it proves that HIS father was right and he's just as bad a father as him lmao.

anyways he basically said that if either of us killed ourselves, he would not care. And would actively not mourn us because it was our own fault. And that he doesn't care about our feelings. and that what little we have can be taken away by him at any time. and then HE threatened to kill himself and insinuated we would kill him in his sleep because of how much... we hate ourselves? i mean dgmw i hate him too lmao. how can i not.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Not Him

Jay Halstead x Reader

You love your job in intelligence. It provides it's challenges along the way though and the biggest one proves to be that you and your partner can't get along.

Rivals to lovers 👀 I'd say I'm sorry for how feral this man makes me but I'm not.

You enjoyed working in intelligence. Voight was a bit of a hard ass but if you were one of his detectives he would go to bat for you if something happened. You handled some of the hardest cases to hit the CPD and was a pretty well respected unit.

You loved working out of the twenty first, Trudy ran a tight ship of her house and it always ran fairly smoothly. You were long time friends with Kim, Adam and Kevin and it hadn't taken long for a friendship to form between you and Hailey.

All in all it should seem besides the hazards of your job you should be happy in it. You probably would be if it wasn't for the fact that you and your partner couldn't get along for over five minutes if your lives weren't currently on the line.

Jay was a damn good cop. He went above and beyond at his job and you trusted him with your life when it came down to it but that didn't change the fact that when danger wasn't in the equation you two were constantly at each other's throats.

“For fucks sake Halstead!” For a second you considered just how pissed Voight would get if you aimed your coffee for the back of Jay's head as the two of you walked up the stairs. He'd purposely held the gate until you were almost to it then let it slam shut in your face.

He glanced over his shoulder at you, a smirk slipping onto his face “If your short ass throws that coffee at me I'm moving all of your gear onto the top shelf” 

You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of the coffee to emphasize the fact that you clearly weren't going to do that, annoyed that he'd yet again been able to anticipate what you were thinking.

He raised an eyebrow at you before heading towards his desk. You headed towards yours, smiling when Hailey told you good morning “Morning Hails. At least you know how to talk to a partner” you glared across the room at Jay who smirked “Aww did I hurt your feelings? Admit it and I'll apologize”

“You know what…” you started but was interrupted by Voight coming out of his office “Alright, listen up” 

_________________

You moved around your desk to sit on the edge of it as he ran down the most recent case. There were guns coming in, highly modified, highly illegal guns. Someone had to go under to pose as a buyer so all of you could trace them back to the source and hit the high man on the totem pole instead of just the salesperson.

He pointed at Jay “Halstead you're up on this. You fit the mark” “Pretentious white guy?” You asked which earned you matching glares from Voight and Jay but a muffled laugh from Kim. 

Voight turned his eyes on you “I wouldn't get ahead of myself sweetheart. Your partner needs backup. You're going under as his wife”

“Yes sir” you replied, knowing you'd pushed too far from his tone. You cut your eyes at Jay who was already staring you down “C.I. is gonna set the initial meet for tomorrow night. You two get your story straight and get ready” Voight ordered before going into a preraid plan.

Great. You and Jay had to act like a married couple, undercover which meant trying to avoid a dangerous situation. How the hell were you gonna make it through without killing each other?

Kim was helping you to get ready and Hailey was wiring you up. Voight gave you three the use of the tech room while Jay was upstairs using the locker room.

“Try not to kill him?” Kim asked as she put the final touches on your hair. “I don't kill suspects for no reason Kim, damn” Hailey glanced up from where she was running the wire along your bra “She means Jay”

You cracked a laugh “Oh, no promises on that one” they both shook their heads. “You two are ridiculous” Kim laughed so you shrugged, trying to think of a reply other than “He started it”

“He's insufferable” you scoffed and they shared a look before laughing again. A knock at the door made all three of you look before Kevin's voice drifted through “Hey, yall ready?” 

“Come on in Kev. I'm dressed!” You hollered and he opened the door. He let his eyes flit over you then nodded “Damn, you clean up good” you put one hand on your hip and looked at Kim “Was that a compliment or insult? Felt like it could go either way” 

She laughed as Kevin started to backpedal “No…I just meant” “Easy Kevin. I'm messing with you” you laughed, grabbing your jacket off the desk.

You followed Kevin out into roll up with Hailey and Kim following the two of you. “Where's Jay?” You asked and his voice came from behind you “Right here”

You turned around and tried to not let your eyes wander. Jay was an asshole to you ninety percent of the time but damn if he wasn't the most gorgeous man you'd ever laid your eyes on. The fitted black suit he wore hugged his shoulders beautifully, the stark white shirt making his eyes seem an even brighter shade of blue. 

You swallowed hard and turned your eyes to Voight who had just walked down the stairs “What's the play boss?” 

You sat in the passenger seat of the Ashton Martin that was being used as Jay's car. It felt insane being in a car that would pay off your mortgage but that was your job.

Jay bumped your arm over the console “Act like it's your husband's car. You're too damn stiff” you glanced towards him, watching as he steered the car through the busy street confidently as if it didn't cost what it cost. 

You didn't want to admit the act of confidence was sexy in itself. “Maybe I'd be less stiff if I liked my husband?” You teased, turning your head to look at him. 

His jaw clenched tightly before he said “I want to choke the life out of you half the time and yet I can act like I am an adoring husband" you raised an eyebrow “That's kinda kinky of you to say Jay, not gonna lie” and was rewarded with a light blush gracing his cheeks. Luckily your coms weren't active until you got to the meet so no-one else heard that little comment.

He shook his head “You're a fucking pain in my ass” You grinned “right back at ya partner” then settled into the seat, smoothing your dress down your legs. You noticed his eyes flicker your way when you adjusted the long slit that was on the side and smirked to yourself.

The slit was the selling point. Made your legs easier to use over a dress this style without one. Now you were thinking it had a different selling point if it helped you torment Jay. 

Jay's fingers dug into your hips to the point you knew that you'd have bruises come morning. Thankfully you were single because damn that would be hard to explain.

“What's wrong baby?” He whispered into the shell of your right ear, low enough the suspect or com wouldn't pick it up.  “I hate being in your presence, I hope you know that.” you replied in the same tone and he grinned adjusting his thigh that was under you just enough a gasp of surprise left you  “You’re literally sitting half on my lap.” “Because there is nowhere else to sit!” you bit back before the suspect started talking about the actual sale that demanded both of yours full attention.

________________

By the time you were able to leave the meet you were fairly certain you very well may murder Jay.

The sale was set with the pretense that the big boss had to be there. He would call Jay and it would go from there.

You sat down in the passenger seat of the Ashton Martin and this time nearly melted into the seat. Jay pulled out onto the road and cut his eyes at you “You seem relaxed now” you glared at him “What the fuck was that about?”

He shrugged “Honestly? It was funny as hell to watch you squirm after I saw you checking me out back at the precinct” your mouth fell open “I was not” he chuckled “It's ok partner. You can look”

“You’re not that good looking, alright?” you damn near growled and he basically fucking preened “So you admit I’m good looking?” “What? N-no. Never.” You kicked yourself when you stammered. 

He pulled to a stop at a red light and turned his head to look at you. His eyes drifted from yours down to your neck then followed the low neckline of your dress “I'm looking so what's the shame in you looking?”

Before you could respond the light turned green and he pulled away. You clenched your thighs together, trying to soothe the ache his words and the weight of his stare had caused. So this was his newest torment? Oh you could play that game.

 

Ok, so maybe you didn't have to slip in front of Jay to grab a cup of coffee. It was the last cup and he had already had two. You overestimated the amount of room however and felt his hips bump into yours, his crotch effectively being pressed against your ass.

You looked over your shoulder up at him and the fire in his eyes made you bite your cheek to keep from making a noise. “Wanting me to bend you over that bad?” He asked low and you glared at him “Shut up before I-” he leaned down to the point his body was nearly folded over yours  “Before you what, huh? No, say it. Let me see if you can finish that sent-” 

With no other idea you grabbed one of the mini muffins Kim had bought in that morning and shoved it into his mouth, using the shock of the moment to untangle yourself from him. 

He shook his head, chewing the muffin as he laughed. You weren't sure where this little game was headed but you were damn sure playing with fire because you had just nearly folded like a $2 lawn chair in a hurricane.

 

You were sitting in the passenger seat of Jay's truck, trying to ignore his eyes on you. The two of you were sitting on a C.I. for Voight 

“When's the last time you dated anyone?” He asked breaking the silence and you laughed sharply “Dated or fucked, which we talking here?”

His smirk dropped “When's the last time you fucked someone?” Your tongue slipped out to wet your bottom lip, your clit throbbing when you saw his eyes track the movement. “A few months ago” you admitted honestly, despite knowing this was so far off conversation you should be having with him.

“Explains why you're so bitchy” he shrugged. You felt anger flicker to life in your stomach “Fuck you Jay. You're not exactly a ray of sunshine either there partner” 

He adjusted down in the seat, the movement pulling your eyes to his crotch and you mentally kicked yourself for doing such. “Maybe I need a good fuck too and it's a pain in the ass to constantly be stuck in close quarters with you when all I can think about is the fact that you wouldn't be able to bitch at me if your face was down in my bed”

“Jay!” You gasped and he smirked “What? C'mon you've never thought about fucking me? Not once” you turned your face to look out of the window and he laughed “I fuckin knew it. I bet you'd let me fuck you here in my truck if I asked”

Your head snapped towards him “Halstead, tow the line” he leaned over the console “You're thinking about it huh? My hands on your body, finally feeling my lips on your skin, the way my dick would feel buried in that pretty little pussy..” 

“Jay” you warned low and he called your name to get you to meet his eyes “Tell me you don't want me and I'll drop it. I swear”

When you didn't reply he slipped one hand over to rest on the thigh closest to him “Patrol car will be here any minute to relieve us. I can take you home and we can act like this conversation never happened or..”

“Or?” You asked, your legs unconsciously falling open a little further as if to invite his touch. He smirked when he clocked the movement “Or you come home with me”

 

What were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking? That was the only thing going through your mind as you followed Jay through the hall to his apartment.

You stood back while he unlocked the door then cut his eyes at you “Second thoughts princess?” You shook your head because no matter how bad of an idea this was you wanted it.

He smirked “Give me words baby. Before you ever step foot into my place I wanna hear you say it” you took a step closer to him, hands coming to rest on his belt before raising your eyes to meet his “I want you Jay”

“Fuck” he groaned and the next thing you knew he was crouching to scoop you up with both hands under your thighs. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he stepped into his apartment, kicking the door closed before slamming you back against it.

_______________

The look in his eyes made you roll your bottom lip between your teeth “You're so damn beautiful. Do you know how fucking much you annoy me?” He asked before slipping a knee between your thighs, bringing your body down to roll your hips along his thigh, putting just the right amount of pressure on your throbbing core.

When you moaned lightly he chuckled “Listen at that. You sound so fucking sweet” you glared at him “You're an asshole” he grinned “and yet you're in my arms” before he caught your lips with his. The kiss was hungry, hard and bruising. Everything you knew it would be but damn you needed more.

Your fingers dug into his biceps, trying to find something to ground yourself because it was not fair this insufferable man had you on the verge of an orgasm from kissing and his thigh. He grinned against your lips, dragging your body down his leg again and you moaned “Fuck Jay”

One of his hands slipped between your thighs, pressing hard on your clothed core. One swipe was all it took for your back to arch off the door “Damn darlin” he muttered and kept teasing at you, your breathing quickening with every swipe.

You could feel the orgasm building and when he dropped his head down to bite across your neck that was all it took to push you over that edge,making you shake lightly under him. 

He pulled back and grinned at you “You look so pretty shaking under me. I'm gonna have to see a lot more of that before I'm through with you”

He readjusted to get you back in his arms, you wrapped your legs around him, feeling the tremor in your thighs. He grinned, lips finding yours again as he walked towards his bedroom. He moved from your lips to your neck, kissing and biting the skin. Half of your brain said to tell him not to mark you but the other half knew if you did he would definitely mark you.

He dropped you unceremoniously onto his bed but before you had time to bitch he was back on you. His lips tasted better than any damn liquor and was twice as intoxicating. 

He rocked back on his heels, tugging your shoes off and tossing them behind him before reaching for your jeans. “Take your shirt off” he spoke low, eyes never leaving yours. 

Any other time you would've argued but you found yourself eagerly tugging your shirt over your head. He laughed lightly “Give her one orgasm and she suddenly listens”

The moment you were down to just your bra and panties he licked his lips “Fuck you are gorgeous” he slipped his shirt off along with kicking his shoes off then crawled up your body, kissing and teasing every inch of skin along the way. 

When he got to your lips the kiss he gave you was more tongue than anything and you moaned, nails gracing his shoulders in an effort to pull him closer. You'd seen him shirtless more than once but this time you could touch his skin, taste it.

When you pulled away from the kiss he eyed you for a moment before you tilted his head to let your lips find his neck. You'd always loved Jay's neck. Too many days you'd dreamt about tasting the skin there. You kissed across his pulse point, then bit down lightly and he moaned out your name, clothed hips rutting down into yours.

You kissed across his collarbone, biting and licking along the way. The soft sounds coming from him were heavenly. When you got to the other side of his neck he suddenly grabbed both of your hands and pinned them over your head in one of his. You met his eyes and he grinned before he started to kiss across your neck, his bites light enough to not leave marks but heavy enough to pull gasps from your lips. 

By the time he got down to your chest you were a frustrated mess. You squirmed against his grip on your arms as he used his free hand to reach under you to unsnap your bra, tossing it to the side. “Jay let me go” you demanded and he cut his eyes up at you before rolling one nipple between his teeth. A moan left you and you pulled at your hands again, trying to free them. 

“Jay fucking let go of my damn hands!” you all but yelled and he immediately loosened his grip. You grabbed his shoulders, pulling him back up to your lips. “Do that shit again and I swear I will fucking put my clothes back on and go to Mollys to find someone to finish what you started” 

His eyes darkened at your threat and he nipped at your bottom lip “Why are you always so damn mean?” you smiled up at him as sweetly as you could manage “Your brother thinks I’m a sweetheart” 

His eyes flew up to yours and just the look in them made you clench around nothing “Well by all means sweetheart if you think you’re with the wrong brother feel free to leave” one of his hands came up to wrap loosely around your throat before he leaned down to whisper in your ear “But Will can’t fuck you like I can. I can promise you that”

“Prove it” you whispered and he shook his head “Can’t wait to fuck the bitch right out of you” his hand slipped down under your panties and you moaned loudly when one thick finger slipped into you, followed by a second. “Hmm doesn’t sound like you want someone else” he muttered, curling his fingers so he could brush against that spot deep inside of you.

When he hit it your back arched off the bed and he chuckled “There it is” he continued to pump his fingers into you, adding his thumb down to rub tight circles onto your clit. Your hands gripped his comforter as gasps of his name fell from your lips, your orgasm slamming into you. He worked you through it, coaxing you with praises of “Damn you look pretty like this” “Feel so good squeezing my fingers”

When it became too much you shoved at his wrist and he pulled his hand away, sucking his fingers clean as he held your gaze. “Taste as pretty as you sound” he moved down the bed,laying between your spread legs.

The sight of Jay Halstead between your legs was enough to make you fall apart on its own. He winked at you before gripping your panties to pull them off your legs. He tossed them across the room. One finger teased at your slit “Look at that pretty little pussy” he brushed his finger across your clit and your head fell back against the pillows.

He lowered his mouth to you and the first lick had your eyes rolling back. He worked his tongue across your clit, his fingers pushing into you and finding that spongy spot that had your legs clamping around his head.  You could feel another orgasm building and when he barely grazed his teeth across the sensitive bud the building pressure burst. Your vision went soft around the edges and your legs were quivering around him.

He left a kiss on your inner thigh before pulling back to look up at you with a cocky smirk “How ya feeling partner?” you glared at him weakly “Fuck you Jay” he grinned “Is that an offer?” you shook your head “Take your jeans off and get up here”

He pushed them off his hips “Normally I wouldn’t take orders from you” when he kicked them and his boxers away you felt your mouth go dry. He looked like he was sculpted by the damn greek gods as a personal favor “Like what you see?” he asked and you shook your head “I’m liking it so far”

He pulled you down closer to him, kissing his way up your body until he got back to your lips. When he kissed you, you could taste yourself and that made a moan escape you. You could feel his hard cock pressing against your thigh. “Are you clean?” you asked and he chuckled, kissing along your neck “Just had a physical last month” 

“Then fuck me Halstead, damn” he bit down on the bend of your neck as the head of his cock pushed into you. “Fucking bossy” you couldn’t attempt to say anything back as he slowly pushed into you, the feeling of him stretching you around him was nearly overwhelming.

Once he was fully inside of you,his hips resting against yours he pushed your hair back out of your face and looked into your eyes for a moment “You still with me?” you smiled “I’m good”

He brushed his lips against yours and gave a tentative thrust of his hips. When you hooked your legs up around his waist he chuckled against your mouth “Impatient” he gripped one of your hips tightly and gave a sharp thrust of his hips, snapping them into yours. 

“Like that Jay, please” you gasped and he grinned “Dammit sweetheart” and buried his face in your neck as he found a hard pace, hips slamming into yours hard enough you could vaguely hear the headboard slamming against the wall with every thrust.

Your nails dug into his back, his hips burying into you hitting that spot with every thrust. You could feel another orgasm building already. One of his hands slipped between your bodies to play with your clit, rubbing heavy circles. You screamed his name as you came, nails digging into his flesh. He gave a few more hard thrusts then buried himself inside of you, you could feel him coating your walls, pumping some back out with his thrusts. 

He slowed once he finished and all but collapsed on top of you,both of your chests heaving. “Fuck”you gasped and he laughed “Yeah, that was a lot more fun than arguing”

You were fairly certain Jay was asleep. After the two of you had cleaned up, he’d wrapped himself around you which you hadn’t expected. You’d expected to get tossed your clothes and get told to go home.

You started to shift to get out of the bed and felt his hand shoot out to wrap around your wrist “Where are you going?” you looked back at him, a smile slipping onto your face “I know this isn’t a stay the night thing Jay. I’m gonna get dressed and summon an uber”

He shook his head “Stay, please” you stared at him for a moment “You’ve always acted like you can’t stand being around me” he raised an eyebrow and motioned around the bed “That was determined to be a lie” you laughed “What just happened Jay?” he shrugged “The start of something if that's what you want because I can’t go to work tomorrow and act like everythings how it was”

“Say the words baby. I need to hear you say them” you teased and he rolled his eyes “I want you. I want you to be mine, just mine” you raised an eyebrow “Will you be just mine?” he nodded “Yeah” you took a breath and saw the hesitation start to worry him before you turned to curl up to his chest “Ok” “Ok” he agreed, leaving a kiss on the side of your head.

You were almost asleep before he said “You were fucking with me about Will though, weren’t you?” you shook your head “Go to sleep Jay”

[johnwickb1tsch]

The Girl Next Door - VIII

A Constantine x FemVampire!Reader (feat John Wick!) fic based on this imagine. all chapters warnings: nsfw, blood, biting, violence divider by animatedglittergraphics Wick pics midjourney art from pinterest, OP unknown

8. confess your sins

Before Wick can react John hits him with some kind of spell that knocks him off his feet, shatters two windows, and breaks the mental hold that had mind-fucked you so completely. 

You freeze with shock–John has to grab your arm, wrenching you towards the door. “Wait! What are you doing?!” 

“Saving you, obviously!” he snarls back, taking the stairs two at a time. 

The unholy growl that emanates from the upstairs apartment sets your hair on end. 

“But he didn’t come here to hurt us!”

“Then what was all that blood on the floor? It tripped the alarm in my wards–God, I thought he was killing you!” 

You are shouting all this at each other as you are running down, down, down. Constantine does not go for the exit, but seems to have another destination in mind. 

“Where are you going?” 

“Beeman’s reloading my shells!” You don’t know what that means–does it have to do with that weird steampunk shotgun? “I hope he finished the dhampir loads,” John mutters, pulling you along through the machinery under the bowling alley that looms like mechanical spiders. It’s eerie down in the basement, dark and quiet. 

“Beeman!” John shouts. “I’ve got a situation!”

There’s no answer. 

“Beeman!” 

The quiet of the subterranean level is broken by the sound of soft footfalls. Wick, stalking you both in the dark. 

All manners of weird and wonderful things hang from the ceiling. Jars and baskets filled with raw ingredients from all around the world. You round a corner to find John standing by a long and cluttered workbench. Beeman is nowhere to be found. 

With a clenched jaw John searches the work table, hefting the gun from the night before and loading it with sharp, precise movements, shoving home golden canisters inscribed with ancient runes and occult symbols. 

“Constantine!” 

You turn with horror to find the looming silhouette of Wick standing at the end of the dark aisle with his feet spread, the naked blade of his sword glinting silver in the low light. Those eyes glow such an unearthly blue, dancing like lightning. He is magnificent, terrible to behold, and you are as captivated as you are terrified. 

“You always bring a knife to a gunfight?” taunts John from behind you, the shotgun shouldered. 

“I want the pleasure of cutting you into pieces,” answers Wick in a tone that sends a chill down your spine. You believe him, and this is not good. 

“Please,” you say, putting up your hands and daring to step between them. “It was just a misunderstanding.”

Both men snort in answer to that. 

“Step aside, y/n,” says Wick, like he expects to be obeyed.  

“No.” 

“Let the man answer for himself. I’ll make it quick for you. A mercy killing.” 

“No,” you refuse again, standing your ground. You take a step towards him. “He just thought you were hurting me.” 

“I was hurting you? In that rat’s nest up there that reeks of your tears?”

 “That doesn’t…matter.” 

“It matters to me,” Wick states, and as unhinged as that is…it kindles some small, completely unhelpful warmth in you. 

Perhaps foolishly, you take another step. “If you hurt him I’ll never forgive you,” you tell the dhampir, and you mean it from the bottom of your heart. 

“Never is a long time, malyshka. Someday you’ll thank me for setting you free.” 

“No.” 

“Move,” he growls again, and you rack your brains for something to offer this maniac that might get through to him. 

“I’ll come visit you in New York,” you say, your tongue dry in your mouth, fear trilling down your spine. “But only if you calm down.” 

As it turns out, this was probably the only thing you could have said to get through to him in this state. He tilts his head, considering it, and the neon brightness of his eyes dampers to glowing cerulean blue. 

“Is that a promise?” 

“If you promise not to hurt him. Ever.” 

“What?” protests Constantine from behind you. “No! Y/n, he’s crazy!”

 Wick turns the blade in his hand, considering your offer over the apparent delight it would be to quarter John Constantine. You guess these two must have a history you have no idea about–this much bad feeling can’t be coming over you. 

“Breaking a deal with me is a bad idea, vampling,” the dhampir warns. 

“Likewise…dude,” you retort, as though you could offer even half the consequences this man could wreak. But your bravado inspires a slight curl of lips from him. You can just see it, in the dampered glow of his eyes. 

“Very well.” He sheathes the katana down his back. “When my business here is finished, you will come with me.” He steps towards you, and now John puts himself in front of you, the gun still raised. 

“I’m not agreeing to this deal. She has no idea what she’s getting into with you.”

You see Wick bristle, ready to go to war again, and you reach for John’s arm. He tries to resist you, but he forgets that you are actually stronger than him, and you force him to lower the gun. 

“You didn’t want me anyway, John. What do you care?” You don’t mean to sound so petulant about it, but it’s been a rough month, and it all comes out in those last four words.  

The demon hunter looks down at you like you’ve grown a third head with those soulful dark eyes held wide, his teeth grinding, utterly furious. It’s the most emotion you’ve seen from him, maybe ever. And maybe you’re the one with the preternatural strength and speed, but you never see it coming, when he grabs you by the neck, and his mouth crashes over yours.  

[lightofthemoonglow]

kinktober day seven and eight

Virginity | Waxplay | Stuck in Wall

Breeding | Gore | Master & Slave

third person reader because that is how it turned out oops

Sequel here

Thomas Hewitt

The day had finally come.

The wedding dress is older than the bride. The bride is considered an adult in every part of the world, in basically every sense. And yet she still wears a dress that Luda Mae had brought for herself a long time ago, back when she had hopes for a whole other life that had never come to pass. It’s obvious why she’s doing this, but it’s harmless in comparison to everything else about the situation.

One interaction had been all it had taken for this deal to be worked out. The bride had come from a family of carnival workers that had passed through Travis County that had decided to stick around, her mother becoming friendly with Luda Mae despite the two of them living seemingly very different lives. All the girl had done was shyly ask Tommy about his job at the slaughterhouse as she offered him a bowl of the chili she had brought over. This was some good meat. I bet you had something to do with it. And Luda Mae had noticed the shift in her son’s body language, how he wasn’t as on guard as he normally was for a moment.

It had started as joke between the two mothers. And then they had started seriously discussing it. It made sense. The pool of candidates was already small and neither of their children were exactly…popular. The bride had struggled to finish school after fighting tooth and nail to get in. Thomas had dropped out. Their families were already close. And then, the tornado happened, killing the bride’s father. It was as good a time as any, they had figured. The town was dying slowly, the writing was on the wall. They needed to make it happen before the bride left town for good.

And so, they had wound up in the backyard of the house, the town preacher pronouncing the young couple man and wife, on edge due to the gun that Charlie had aimed at him, ready to pull the trigger if this marriage wound up not being true in the eyes of the lord. While he didn’t believe in that shit, Luda Mae did and his sister’s word was law in their home. The bride was a vision in antique white, her voice trembling as she said ‘I do’. Thomas only grunted in response, Charlie snapping ‘the boy damn well does!’ when the preacher tried to get the larger man to speak.

“I’m glad it’s you,” Luda Mae says to the bride after the cake has been cut and everyone is milling about the yard, the preacher nowhere to be seen. He would never be seen again, but no one would notice or care. “You always had a kind word for my boy.”

And for the first time since her hesitantly uttered vows, the bride speaks. “Of course. He’s a good boy. This was all just a little fast, Mrs. Luda Mae.” But that was intentional, something she would realize later. The mother of the bride had all but dragged her down the aisle. The woman had cried, wailed as she told her daughter that she need to do this, so she could be taken care of, implying that it wouldn’t be long until the bride’s parents were reunited.

After the party, the happy couple was led upstairs, where they were to stay all night. “I want a grandbaby by next spring,” Luda Mae instructed. It wasn’t the wistful dreaming of a woman who yearned to more little ones to spoil. Well, it was, but her tone was that of an order. They were going to grow the family, one way or another.

The room was dim, the sun peeking through the curtains. Thomas makes no move to take off his mask, choosing to just stare at his new wife as she walked towards the bed. The dress is pulled off, revealing a white slip covering her everyday undergarments. She folds it up, so it can be put away in the morning. Maybe it will even be used again one day. The sun shines down on her as she lays on the bed, waiting for him to join her.

“It’s alright. If you…want to.” She speaks softly, not approach him too closely. “I know your mama said that we have to, but I can wait.” Thomas is staring at her, watching her legs twitch slightly, fascinated by the dark peaks on her chest. Her breathing is steady, she’s not looking for an escape. Her eyes are meeting his whenever he allows it. Thomas knows what to do. He’s seen farm animals do it and Charlie had shown him a movie once, short and filthy. Luda Mae had found out about it and been cross for weeks.

The real thing is different. Thomas feels almost cornered as he tentatively touches the hem of the slip. His fingers graze her bare skin and he flinches, which makes her sit up and grab his hand.

“It’s alright, it’s alright,” she coos, stroking his hand with her thumb. “Tommy…I know neither of us exactly wanted this to happen. But if it had to be anyone, I’m glad it was you. I’ve always liked you.” His face didn’t matter to her, she didn’t care that he had to hide what had been eaten away by the sickness inside of him. He wasn’t going to kiss her, he couldn’t get to that point. Not yet.

They needed to do what was expected of them first.

It takes a while, the sun is almost gone when Thomas is finally ready to get on top of her, still mostly dress, only his nice trousers unzipped. She’s naked, comfortable with allowing him to see, to explore. Her body is warm, soft, and he’s so hard it hurts until he pulls it out of his trousers. But he doesn’t put it in, not yet. He can’t quite manage that last little bit of movement, not yet.

“It could happen, Tommy. Us havin’ a baby because of tonight.” She strokes his arm, not touching his face, not until he’s ready. And maybe that won’t be tonight. “I like the idea. Go on and feel how much, darlin’.” She spreads her legs slightly to let him know he could touch her. His prodding fingers found something warm and wet, and when he pushes, a finger slips inside. “It’s good when it’s wet like that. Means I’m excited. Like you are now.”

Another fingers joins the first and she gasps, but she doesn’t stop him. “We could make a baby tonight. You and me…” The images start coming to Thomas as he fingers explore her. His wife’s belly swollen with their child, her tits full of milk, everyone knowing that she belonged to him and only him-

He’s inside of her before he can stop himself. She gasps, grabbing onto his shoulders as his cock fills her up. Her breasts bounce as he thrusts, slow and experimental at first. “Good boy, good boy,” she whispers, her body suddenly filles with sensations she’s never felt before. Thomas is equally overwhelmed, she’s so warm and wet and good and hot and everything he’s ever wanted. She’s gripping onto him tightly, he’s in awe of the sight of himself inside of her.

Thick fingers stuff his seed back inside of her after he’s done, and he prays for the first time in years that it worked.

[tinfoil-jones]

Gravity Falls: For Your Own Good, Ch.25

Summary: A few years after moving to Gravity Falls and having his lab built, Stanford Pines happens upon his estranged twin brother, Stanley. He mentally prepared himself to be suffocated by his brothers neediness all over again - what he wasn't prepared for was Stanley walking right past him like he didn't even notice him.

Rating: M for language, violence, and adult implications

Preface: Dialogue only, but some actions will be annotated for clarity. Cross-Posted on AO3 Here

A/N: This is the last chapter of the story. There's gonna be a trivia section/chapter, maybe a bonus chapter if enough people want.

First - Prev - Bonus Chapter - Trivia

CH.25

“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, The Author of the Journals; my brother!”

“...Stanley, you don’t have to do that every time I come upstairs.”

“Sure I do! The Journals are The Mystery Shacks most popular exhibit!”

“Woah, there’s another Mr. Mystery?”

“Nah, I’m the only Mr. Mystery. That’s Dr. Mystery.”

“Oooh!”

“Can you take a break from your tour, Stanley? I need to talk to you about this trip I’m about to take.”

“Yeah yeah, just lemme pull the red ropes on the mirror maze room.”

(...)

“You swear your portal gun is stable this time?”

“So far it’s restricted to the continental United States, but soon enough I should be able to tweak it to include the western hemisphere, and then the planet, and then-.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself now, poindexter. You had to hitchhike your way back home last month. From Albuquerque.”

“It is not going to be like that, I will be back tomorrow. Promise.”

“Mhmm. Take your emergency travel bag with you just in case.”

“That isn’t-.”

“Ford.”

“Alright, dear brother of mine. If it’ll quell your irrational concerns.”

“You’re getting a little better at sarcasm, sixer. Can you tell me where you’re going?”

“Just a quick, overnight trip to Washington. Mothman tipped me off about a Batsquatch there. It’d make a great addition to Journal Four.”

“I can’t believe you still hang out with that thing.”

“I don’t need to hear that from Mr.‘But the Multi-Bear has good taste in music, Ford’.”

“Ya got me there. Hey, could ya project into my dreamscape tonight?”

“You said you didn’t need help traversing it anymore.”

“I don’t. But I wanna show ya something. Can’t while we’re awake.”

“Is this you trying to trick me into going to sleep at a reasonable time?”

“...It’s not a zero percent chance. But, really, I wanna show ya something.”

“Alright. Did Fiddleford call today?”

“Yeah. He’s got a conference this week though, so we can’t bug him about anything. Something about linking personal computers together.”

“Shame, I wanted to consult him about… Well, that doesn’t matter right now.”

“You could always come with us to that Jazzfest thing in a couple months.”

“Absolutely not. Last time I went to a concert with you two, you invited the Flesh Curtains ‘for old times sake’, then Fiddleford got drunk and almost evaporated the entire venue with a death ray because Sanchez put an arm around you.”

“Yeah, we really need to work on his jealousy. I really thought he’d stop after they built that giant death robot together…” 

(...)

“You’re sure Time Baby won’t know about this?”

“I made sure to schedule this during that dumb babies ‘tummy time’. We’re golden, Fordsy. Well, I’m golden at least. You’re more carbon-based than that.”

“Right. Normally, I’d take Stanley’s word for it when it comes to matters like this… But I need confirmation before I move forward with the next step.”

“Sure thing, sixer. Say what you need, specifically, so there’s absolutely no doubt what your intentions are.”

“Project us into the mindscape of Agent Powers, I need to confirm if he truly intended to kill Stanley.”

SNAP

(...)

“Get the hell away from my car, Powers! We talked about this, it’s paid off dammit!”

*Powers turns away from Stanley’s El Diablo, holding something in his hands behind his back*

“It’s a garbage car and it is still too good for a dredge on society like you, Pines.”

“Actually, it’s ‘Alcatraz’.”

“It doesn’t matter what fake name you’re using this time - we both know who you really are. Stanley Pines.”

“I’m afraid I dunno who that is. Now get away from my car before this turns into another fight.”

“Hmph. Another one you can’t finish?”

“Fuck off, pig.”

*Powers walks away, but slips a strap cutter, hose cutter, and screwdriver into his pockets*

“I see… this wasn’t a misunderstanding nor a crime of passion. He methodically planned on killing him and making it look like a tragic car accident.”

“So, IQ,  you’re saying he fucked up?”

“He fucked up big time, my muse.” 

(...)

Crackle

Crackle

Crunch

“Who’s there?”

“Agent Powers, lovely campsite you have here.”

“What-... Stanley Pines?”

“Close, but no cigar.”

“...You’re the other one. You’re that twin he had a picture of.”

“In the sun visor of his car? The one that you sabotaged?”

“I did no such thing.”

“Hm. Strange. You haven’t taken a leave of absence in six years; and yet, you started an extended leave months ago, suspiciously around the same time that Stanley Pines reported himself to the authorities as alive?”

“It was close to the holiday season.”

“And yet… Here you still are.”

“I- what is that thing you’re pointing at me?”

“Your full name is Nickolas Powers isn’t it?”

Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap

Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap-Tap

“What are you doing with that thing?”

“No, no, don’t try to back off, now. I’ve already set up a perimeter around your campsite, and if you try to run you’ll have quite the experience with pitfalls and barbed wire.”

“...Are you here to kill me?”

“I want to. Believe me, I want to. You tried to take my brother away from me. And for what? Because he was slippery? Because he was infuriating? Because he spared you during that shoot out with The Snakes Biker Gang?”

“...He was never going to improve, he was always going to be a nuisance and a leech on society. I don’t know how his entire criminal record managed to disappear without a trace overnight, but I know what he really is.”

“You knew he wasn't a killer. He’s far more forgiving than I am, he knows you killed him and revenge didn’t cross his mind. In a way, he’s more disappointed than angry. You were one of the few constants in his life, an antagonistic version of a ‘friend’, almost. And you killed him because you were angry that some teenager beat you but didn’t finish you off over a decade ago.”

“Clearly, I did not kill him if he could report himself as alive.”

“He did die, Powers. He died, but he came back and he lost himself, even when someone else saved him. He had no memories of who he really was… Didn’t know who I was when I met him again a year later.

But I brought him back. It took a lot of work, it took pain and effort, but I brought him back. But that doesn';'t change that you tried to take him away from me in the first place, and for a while you succeeded.

But to answer your earlier inquiry, no, I’m not here to kill you. At least, not physically.”

“Excuse me?”

“This gun can target specific memories based on the prompt that is typed in. And that includes the victims own name. I’m going to erase everything you are.”

“You-!”

*Powers attempts to get up and run, but trips over a shallow pit a few yards away, landing on his front*

“Don’t look away from me. Face me directly, Agent Powers. You think you’re such a cunning strategist, but you made one fatal mistake - you harmed my family.

Stanley Pines came back to himself because he had people who cared enough to remind him that he wasn’t alone, that it was safe to be himself again. I sincerely hope, for your sake, that you have people who love you enough to do the same for you.”

FWOOSHBZZZZT!

(...)

“I can see your mindscape is still shifting its presentation.”

“Yeah, it’s mostly boardwalk and beaches again… there’s still a lot of slot machines and snooker tables. Ms. Ramirez told me I shouldn’t try to separate my amnesiac self from… ya know, myself.”

“You did say early on that you were never anybody but yourself.”

“Heh, I did say that didn’t I?”

“What’d you want to show me, Stanley?”

“I remembered something from Glass Shard Beach - do you remember when we were trying to fix up the mast of the Stan O’War, but we only had loose rope and none of it was long enough?”

“Vaguely…”

“We found two ropes that would be long enough if we put ‘em together. We used a specific sailors knot to do it, the one that Horrible Eyesight Hawkins taught us when we were kids?”

“Yes, it was the Flemish Bend I believe.”

“Ya know, sixer, it’s been so many years I forgot some of steps.”

*Stanley manifests his half of the twin bond and offers the broken end to Stanford*

“Ya think if we worked together we could do one again?”

“I think… I think that is a brilliant idea.”

*Stanford manifests his half of the twin bond and offers the broken end to Stanley*

“I remember ya supposed to start with a figure eight on one rope.”

“Yes, and then you retrace it the opposite way with the other rope.”

“Then ya pull both standing ends of the rope in opposite directions.”

“And check that the knot is tied correctly.”

“By seein’ if there's three sets of parallel rope in it?”

“Indeed.”

“I think we got it, Stanford.”

“We certainly did, Stanley.”

The End… Go Home.

[b3achysurfer]

I really wanna talk about this scene where “Logan saves Ashlyn” because I really believe it’s more than just that

I’m gonna be referencing mostly episodes 34, 35, 43, and 44 just in case you want to do your own digging 😋!

for starters I kinda bugs me when people brush this whole scene off as ‘Logan saving ash’ because 3 things:

1.) Logan saving Ashlyn didn’t really feel natural! mans was allllll the way in the graveyard, he was scared, it was dark, and he didn’t have any prior experience with using guns. but he still somehow did it in 1 shot. I honestly feel like that bit was so that he can’t be excluded from the later celebration and so that him being left behind had a purpose.

2.) ASHLYN WOULDVE SURVIVED WHETHER OR NOT HE MADE THE SHOT!!!!! if anything we’d probably learn a lot more about the phantoms if Logan had never shot his gun.

3.) I feel like Logan making the shot was suppose to distract us from the important lore aspect we see during the scene. we already know red loves throwing in foreshadowing and small hints for us. Especially when these hints get covered by other scenes so that we only notice them after we get the new information and we re-read old chapters. We can see an example of this in the same episode when Taylor offers to go see why Aiden was screaming and Tyler quickly takes action instead and sends her upstairs. it’s obvious that going back outside was the more dangerous option which is why Tyler told her she shouldn’t do it. But at the time many people brushed this off as Tyler caring about his sister as much as any brother would, and a part of his ‘jock/I’m bigger and better than everyone’ attuide seeping through. then later on in chapter 49, we learn about Tyler’s promise to always take care of Taylor and their mom, and we see how their safety is always his priority even if it’s to much for him. Taylor’s frown makes a lot more sense after we get this context.

Anyways what I’m trying to say is that I think Logan saving ash was suppose to draw away our attention to the whole reason he was even able to get the shot in the first place.

Ashlyn is convinced she’s gonna die here and this is her last effort to live. So very strong emotion. But pay attention to her voice box thing. It’s black and has the red streaks around it.

The phantom immediately pauses, as if it understands her. Also, it’s aggression vanished as soon as she spoke. This being LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL HER pauses and starts to question her!! In some twisted way Ashlyn can communicate with phantoms, or at the very least they can tell there is also a connection between her and them. This is literally so important and it’s not talking about enough. Even though no one has ever tried speaking directly to the phantoms before this, I do think this trait only belongs to ashlyn. For starters we already know that she has the strongest connection to the phantom world, and she’s the only one who can actually hear them. Her parents also said that they saw the phantoms after ashlyn was born. This is important for later on.

The only other time we ever see the black text bubble is here when Logan is mad (chapter 42) his shadow has also changed to his phantom world-self. Notice that even though his actions are connected to the phantom there is no red streaks next to his text box?

The fight obviously shows again that they affect the real world because their emotions and phantom and blah blah. This is all stuff we know. But hear me out! View their actions as if they are part phantom.

Ashlyn’s commanding them to do something while feeling strong emotions. Her text box is black with the red streaks again. Just like it was during the scene that ‘Logan saves her’.

And just like the phantom, all of them freeze and their violent behavior disappears. The fact that it’s all in sync and they all stop immediately shows that they didn’t just stop because their friend told them to. They stopped because Ashlyn’s commands have some strength to them. And remember earlier when I said think of them as part phantom? It makes sense why her commands would work, because it’s frozen a phantom before.

AND LOOK!!!! THEY SOUND JUST LIKE THE PHANTOMS! The fact that this guy doesn’t react to that statement means that his organization already knows this. They already know that the kids are partly related to the phantoms. Ashlyn’s especially.

I guess this can split into two ideas:

1.) Ashlyn’s becoming part phantom the fastest. And I don’t mean that she’ll eventually become a full phantom but idk how else to phrase it. Her words can already be understood by phantoms and they have enough impact to confuse and stop phantoms in place. The phantom tilting their head at Ashlyn was kinda like ‘how did you do that?’ .

2.) Ashlyn’s connection gives her semi-control over phantoms. This could be a skill she has to develop over time but the fact that her words were able to break that main cast out of their anger and brought them back into reality shows that they CAN listen to her commands. Either she’s not strong enough yet to control real phantoms or she can only stun them, ash was still able to communicate with the phantom.

That scene is such an important building block that people just brush over. I just don’t see a lot of people talking about the fact that Ashlyn can talk/control phantoms in a way. Or maybe she can’t and all of this means smth else but it’s still so important.

Also before ppl jump on me for saying Ash would’ve lived w/ or w/o logan:

Aiden was literally two seconds away from getting to ash. Plus the phantom was stunned. We don’t know if this hesitation would’ve lasted long or not, but it would’ve been enough time for Aiden to crawl to the top of the roof or for Ashlyn to kick it away. Ashyln was also in shock though so I’m not sure she would’ve been able to do much. But if Aiden saw the phantom on her he would’ve went crazy bro. Do not touch his girl ❌🙅‍♀️❌ All jokes aside though, we definitely would’ve learn more about the connection between Ashlyn and phantoms if Logan didn’t shoot. Not blaming him or anything but I’m just saying.

ANYWAYS THATS ALL THANKS FOR READING!!

[duchessonfire]

Savior Carl!AU re-read Part 1 Chapter 4

Follow-up of my re-read of Part 1 Chapter 3. If you're not interested and don't want to have your dashboard spammed, you can block the tags Duchess reads and Savior Carl AU reread.

Commentary for Part 1, Ch 4 below the cut (spoilers for part 1 ahead):

I've been delaying writing this one, not just because life is hectic, but also because I have so much I could say about this final chapter, I'm not even sure where to start.

First of all, Carl's training with the rifle outside the Sanctuary. I'm really really happy I thought of that because it allowed me to show a lot through this simple activity. It might sound silly, but I always struggle finding Carl things to do around Sanctuary. Let's be real, I have no idea what people do in the apocalypse aside from the usual scavenging for supplies, growing food, fixing broken things and going through weapon training. It's especially hard to think of things at Sanctuary because most of the supplies they get is brought in to them from the communities Negan has subdued. When you're writing a long fic, the challenge is always to find new things for the characters to do, especially in a setting like the apocalypse. The Savior Carl AU is very much a huit-clos, a narrative taking place in a defined and limited space. Carl isn't allowed to go outside in part 1, so the whole story is limited to the space of Sanctuary.

This is both a strength and a potential weakness for the story. Because Carl is the focus of the story and because he stays inside the factory, things will get boring very quickly if his role doesn't change, if the parts of Sanctuary he explores are always the same. This is why the shooting practice in the parking lot was so useful to me: it gave Carl something new to do aside from the guard duty he had done until now and it allowed him to start interacting with the cast of background characters that make up the Saviors and workers of Sanctuary. Same goes for Carl's new job as Negan's assistant.

Now that I'm re-reading this last chapter, I do regret not paying more attention to the fact that Carl entered Negan's room for the first time in this chapter. It's not something I highlighted in any way and I am a bit sad about that. However, I am still very happy with the scene where Carl is looking at the bookcase in Negan's room:

His finger trails over the spine of a book decorated with a bird’s silhouette. “Good choice,” Negan says approvingly, suddenly right behind him, and Carl snaps his hand back. They’re alone in the room now, Simon gone and Negan’s leather jacket draped over the bed, leaving him just in a white t-shirt as he stands behind Carl. It’s truly messed up that all it took was two weeks for Carl to lower his guard around Negan completely, to the point where he can get distracted and snuck up on without any real effort. He remembers Shane telling him about something like that once, how the best way to lull someone into a false sense of safety is to give them a routine, a pattern to repeat day after day at the exact same time, until they lower their defenses, their brains already anticipating the next step in the schedule. He saw first-hand how true that was when Rosita managed to kill her way inside Sanctuary just by memorizing everyone’s guard rotations, armed with nothing but a knife and a gun with one bullet. He wonders suddenly if that’s why Negan gave him a schedule of his own, practicing every morning and then meeting him every day at noon. Was that part of the plan? Giving Carl a false sense of safety, making him lower his guard around him? But Negan just looks relaxed, perfectly at ease with his hands tucked in the pockets of his dark jeans, Lucille forgotten against the coffee table. He smells like soap and spicy aftershave, and his hair is still a bit wet from the shower he took after visiting Sherry upstairs.

This scene is so important to me. If you've been following my end-of-the-year wrapped up posts on Tumblr, maybe you'll have seen that the reason part 1 is tagged Carl & Negan and pre-Carl/Negan is because back when I was writing this story in 2021, I had seen a lot of awful people on Tumblr harassing Cegan shippers and so I was very afraid of writing a fic that was full-on Carl/Negan. Instead, I wrote part 1 as a story that would eventually become shippy, but not yet.

This scene, however, the bookcase scene, is one of the shippiest of part 1. I really wanted to show the new intimacy between Carl and Negan. Carl isn't just in Negan's bedroom, in Negan's private space, but he's comfortable there. So comfortable, in fact, that he doesn't even notice Negan walking up behind him. This is such a huge leap compared to where their relationship was before, the cat-and-mouse schoolyard bullying of the previous chapters. There is no animosity from Carl anymore, no cruelty from Negan. A symbolism that comes back over and over again in the Savior!Carl AU and which I've taken directly from the series is that Negan's leather jacket is an armor and a work uniform all at once. When he wears the leather, he's Negan the Savior, leader of Sanctuary. When he doesn't, he's more ostensibly Negan the man, less guarded and gentler to others. You can see that at several points in the series (he removes his jacket when he's with Carl and Judith in Alexandria but puts it back on when he's playing pool with Spencer, he doesn't have a jacket when he kills Davey to protect Sasha in the cell but he has it back on when he comes to check on her and sees that she put down Davey's corpse).

Carl and Negan have both lowered their guards around each other, and the personal space they keep around each other is similarly reduced:

“You can borrow it if you want. Nothing like a classic.” “It is?” Carl can’t help but ask, frowning back toward the drawing of the bird on the book’s edge. The design makes it look like a children book to him. Negan stares back at him in disbelief. “You don’t know To Kill a Mockingbird?” Carl shrugs, embarrassed at Negan’s tone.   “Seriously? You’ve never heard your parents talking about the book? Or the movie? None of your teachers?” “I was thirteen when I stopped going to school,” Carl says defensively. Negan blinks before sighing dramatically. “Well, at least you’ve never had to sit through a high school analysis of Gatsby. You dodged a serious bullet on that one, kid.” He stretches his arm past Carl’s head, and for a second Carl is trapped, enclosed between the bookcase, the wall, and Negan’s naked arm around him, every single one of the tattoos dotting his skin on display without the armor of his jacket. He takes the book out and hands it to Carl.

That single moment at the end is really the shippiest part 1 gets. Carl is already so aware of Negan's body (his tattoos, his smell, how close they are) while at the same time being in full denial that this awareness comes from sexual attraction. The more time these two spend around each other, the harder it becomes for them to stay apart, for Negan especially. If you look over part 1 (and parts 2 and 3 as a matter of fact), you'll notice Negan is the one always seeking Carl out while Carl has a tendency to find places away from everyone else to brood. This is how the sandwich scene happened in the previous chapter and this how another one of my favorite scenes happens: ✨the rooftop scene.✨

I'm not even going to attempt quoting it here because I'll just end up copy/pasting the whole thing. I love everything about this scene and it still stays with him as one of the most visual moments of part 1, right up there with the moment Carl was shot in the eye and he hallucinates the candy cane Christmas decoration while Negan carries him to the infirmary. Like the eye, the scene of the rooftop is a really pivotal one, and it shifts the entire dynamics of the fic. It's also one of the times in the Savior!Carl AU where I go off-script from canon and fill in the blanks of Negan's past.

“My first time was when I was nineteen,” Negan finally says, breaking the heavy silence left by his confession. Carl finally looks at him, surprised. Negan’s eyes are fixed on the horizon, obviously lost in memory. “I was in college. I had just gotten a scholarship to play football. I played everything back then, football, basketball, baseball, fucking ping-pong, you name it. As long as I was allowed to throw a goddamn ball I was happy. But I got a full ride to Ohio State and it was one of the best moments of my life. I was finally away from my asshole father and doing what I liked. It was the first friendly game of the season, and we were playing against some rich fuckers from a liberal arts college not far. Of course, it was college, so we’d all met at some frat party the night before and the trash talk had gotten out of hand before the game even began. Everyone was playing rough, and I mean it as in, it was a fucking bloodbath. So many players got injured that even my freshman ass got called on the field to play. We’re all riled up, the ref keeps threatening to cancel the match, some fucking cheerleader is crying in the background because her boyfriend lost two front teeth, it’s basically hell and I’m loving every second of it. And then… I tackle this guy and we both fall hard. I actually heard his vertebrae snapping when we both hit the ground. They stopped the game for good after that. I got taken to the hospital, because my fucking collarbone was shattered, but the other kid? Paralyzed from the neck down. And that was only if he was lucky enough to wake up from the coma the docs had to put him under.” Carl can’t help but be fascinated by this story, by this whole new side of Negan, without an ounce of sadistic delight for once, eyes still staring ahead, his face basked in the orange light of the evening. “He died the night before I left the hospital. I could hear his mother crying herself to death down the hall. It was messed up, for them, for me, for everyone involved. I mean, this wasn’t like how things are now. Back then, you were supposed to die at seventy of prostate cancer, or at fifty in a car accident, not playing fucking college football at twenty. After that, I couldn’t play because of the metal plate they put in me. Still have it,” he says, rubbing absentmindedly at the lapel of his leather jacket, right underneath his red scarf. “I lost my scholarship. So I went back to Virginia, got a degree from community college and went to teach P.E. in high school.”

Don't mind me going back on my word and quoting you this whole part. It's always a gamble when you're writing a fic for a on-going series because you never know if the headcanons you're adding will be disproved later. For example, when I was writing part 1, the 'Here's Negan' episode hadn't come out yet (it aired less than a month after I posted chapter 4 and finished the fic) so I had no way of knowing whether the past I gave Negan would have to be retconned later on. I'm glad to say that it holds up so far, Negan's reluctance to killing walkers in the flashback episode (which he says is because he's afraid to grow used to it) could very well stem from the traumatic event I gave Negan in the Savior!Carl AU. However, something that I was a bit disappointed about when Dead City season 1 aired last year, was Negan sharing a memory of his dad being a salesman and promising to take him on a trip to NYC as a child. This is in complete contradiction with the past I made up for Negan in the Savior!AU, where Negan's own relationship with his father is contentious to say the least. I haven't shared anything about that yet, but it will appear if I ever post a Negan's pov fic of the Savior!AU.

This post is running very long already so I'll wrap it up with one song: You're My Sunshine. Obviously this song is a very powerful moment in the Cegan canon so it felt very right to use it for the end of part 4 because it is both an echo to the Sing Me a Song episode and a reminder of Carl and Lori's relationship while, at the same time, the lyrics are very much reminiscent of Carl and Shane's relationship:

I'll always love you and make you happy, If you will only say the same. But if you leave me and love another, You'll regret it all some day. You told me once, dear, you really loved me And no one else could come between. But now you've left me and love another. You have shattered all of my dreams.

I wasn't sure at first I wanted to integrate a song in part 1 because song fic are a sort of commonplace in fandoms and I didn't think it would fit the vibe of my fic. However, when I paid close attention to the lyrics, I realized how apt they were for this moment of the story, for Carl and Shane's relationship to be severed for good, after Shane has chosen to escape with Sherry and baby Lori and left Carl behind. I also really loved the idea of such a romantic song being superimposed on what is arguably one of the most dramatic and disturbing moment in the whole of part 1.

Several people have pointed out in the comments that Shane has all but served Carl on a silver platter for Negan. The manipulation, the secrecy, the violence, all of those elements that Shane used to control Carl, those are the same elements that Negan uses in his relationship with Carl, making Carl go from the arms of one abuser to another. The difference being, of course, that Carl and Negan have a romance a true bond aside from Negan's mindfuck, while any real relationship Carl and Shane might have had died long ago.

Conclusion; tldr: This final chapter of part 1 is a gradual build-up of all the tensions that have been boiling so far. The more Carl separates from Shane, the closer he becomes to Negan, until the eventual killing of Shane by Carl became inevitable. The Savior!Carl AU is a dark romance but it is a romance, and to me what makes this story is great is how the dark and angsty aspects of Cegan are conterbalanced by true moments of bonding and kindness between the two characters. Some people in the comments have very rightfully called part 1 a corruption story or a 'start-of-darkness' plot. That is indeed what is happening, with Carl gradually falling more and more into the possessive clutches of Negan. Those clutches, however, also stem from a true care and affection from Negan to want to provide for Carl and to adopt him as his own.

PS: in chapter 4, Carl remembers Rick's favorite book being In Cold Blood by Truman Capote while Lori's favorite book was The Scarlet Letter by Nathanial Hawthorne. Those are little Easter Eggs I thought people who have read those books might appreciate when compared to Rick and Lori's actual storylines in canon (senseless violence in a small town being investigated and the lack of motive haunting the narrative versus a sexual affair that dooms its female protagonist and destroys her reputation and has lasting consequences in her community).

You can find the commentary for part 2 chapter 1 here.

[mysticmellowlove]

Yandere sub x female vigilante.

She is a world treasure, a world renowned philanthropist. She cares for humanity and all the creatures on earth. But in this life when someone is actually doing good things the people with fake titles hate you with their entire being. Well she hates them too and underneath her shimmering smile she has an underground corporation to eradicate evil celebrities, politics, people with power. Has an entire organization to wipe out evil. So basically her getting her hands on a super bad person like a human trafficker or something and torturing them when yan walks in and is kinda…. Flustered? Like she is beating the fuck out this demon and he is just like… “My Angel goddess mommy 🥹”

Idk if this is to extreme or not

note; stay safe lovies, also get you a man who already know's everything about you!

warnings; violence, fem reader, sadistic reader, sub yan, yan male, worship kink, triggering content mention (rape, human trafficking)

"I swear it's always people like you that fall into traps like this." She hissed as she looked down at the trafficker. Her hands were already crusted over with blood at this point, the sickly strong smell permeating her nose.

"Did you really think you'd be able to get away with it?" She asked as she knelt down and looked them in the eye, a sneer on her face.

"You're fucking sick." They spat at her, a glob of blood tainted spit landed on her cheek with an unsatisfying splat. Instantly her hand whipped out and slapped them across the face, their head whirling towards the side.

"And you are the worst of the worst, honestly someone was going to catch you eventually. Maybe you should be thankful it's me," She looked down at them as she stood. She had listened and waited enough.

"You think you're top shit don't you when in reality you're just a rich bitch with good parents." They snarled as they watched her go over to a small table off to the side, usually, she would have a little more fun but she had someone just as interesting upstairs waiting for her.

"My pals will find you and, they're going to get you and you know what, when they do you'll just be a mindless fucking useless doll." They spat at her again before she turned and shot them through the head cleanly. As soon as the shot rang out so did the familiar sound of glass breaking.

Her head turned quickly towards the stairs that she thought she had concealed, standing there was her one-night stand... though she doubted that he wanted to stay any longer. This is what happened when you forgot about the loose end in your basement, she had no one else but herself to blame. She stared at him as his lips quivered.

She'd have to kill him but before she was even able to raise the gun to him he came rushing over, his sleeve pulled down below his fingers as he used the coarse fabric to wipe her cheek of the now-deceased trafficker's spit.

"Are you alright?" His voice was surprisingly soft as he stood before her, his eyes trained on her body as he scanned her for more injuries. She stood there motionless for a moment. He wasn't running, or screaming or begging for his life... he was just there. Checking in on her. She knew that people loved her, she had made such a big name for herself in the humanitarian sphere but she could've never anticipated this.

The sheer reverence and worry in his eyes...

"I was getting worried. You were taking so long... I could hear it, the things they said to you." His mouth hardened as he seemed to bare his teeth like a rabid dog. He grasped her hand in between his.

"I promise, I'd never let anyone harm you. What you are to this world... you need to be protected, like an angel... no a goddess of true justice." At that moment, she finally began to slide the pieces together. How she had seen him on Tinder, how she talked to him and then coincidentally ran into him at her favourite cafe. She hadn't disclosed anything about her, not even her identity. She knew she wouldn't be able to have a normal relationship with her near celebrity-like status. She was resigned to phone sex and sexting yet here he was, in front of her... in her house that he seemed to know a little too well.

"You've been following me." She looked at him, her eyes stern as he shivered under her gaze. He nodded sheepishly before he slunk to his knees. He looked overwhelmed, his hands going out to brush against her legs before he pulled himself back.

"I just wanted to make sure you're safe." He whispered quietly as he looked up at her through his lashes. He was slightly teary but she had a feeling it was nothing but a facade. A hum left her mouth as she considered her options. She already had a network of depraved people working under her, people on the inside... perhaps he could find a place there. He'd probably excel at it if his servitude right now was any indicator.

Maybe there was use for him yet.

[gojonish]

one could only dream || ᵏᵃᵏᵘᶜʰᵒ

he told you he'd protect you. so why is he the one threatening your life right now?

pairing: kakucho hitto x fem!reader

context: szn three spoilers, angst (no comfort), character death, violence and guns, definitely some grammar/spelling mistakes

note: i quite literally forgot the name of this timeline but it was the timeline where kakucho kills takemichi and naoto yk yk

growing up, you and kakucho were inseparable.

ever since the day you met him at the convenience store, you knew he was going to be your other half. despite you being a big figure in toman and him being tenjiku's second in command, both of you still figured out a way to be together.

now that you two were older, your relationship had taken the next step. you officially moved in with him and left all the gang stuff behind, wanting to live a nice and quiet life.

kakucho still stayed in a gang, but you didn't mind it. he knew how to separate his work and personal life, which you were grateful for. you were also thankful he didn't bring up his best friend, izana, because you absolutely despised him. you still hadn't forgiven him for plotting emma's death.

but somehow you could forgive kakucho and you didn't know why.

maybe it was the way he kissed you so gently and held you so warmly. maybe it was the way he told you he loved you every single day. maybe it was the way he put your safety first, promising to protect you from anything and anyone.

so why was he pointing a gun at you right now?

you thought he cared about you- he loved you. he told you he'd protect you.

one could only dream.

two hours earlier

"when are you and your man going to get married? i swear, you guys are attached at the hip at this point."

you and your friend were currently hanging out at a cafe, the coffee in your hands still steaming hot.

you chuckled, "to be honest, i think he's hiding something from me."

your friend gasped, "no way! do you think he's hiding a ring?"

"maybe! i don't know! i don't wanna get my hopes up," you smiled thinking about how kakucho had been oddly suspicious lately.

"girl, trust me, that man is head over heels for you. what has he been doing that makes you so suspicious of him?"

you pursed your lips, "well, he's been a lot more nervous around me recently. i don't know why!"

"it's definitely cause he's scared to propose."

"kaku's always been nervous about things like that. it took him all his courage to ask me to be his girlfriend."

"okay, say he proposes tomorrow. are you ready for marriage?"

marriage?

you've been with kakucho for years. you know he could be an amazing husband, with his caring nature and loving aspects.

"yeah," you smiled, "i'd love for him to be my husband."

"it won't be long before kids start coming too."

you spit out the coffee you were drinking, "okay that's a little too far into the future!"

she laughed at your reaction, but you couldn't help but think of having a family with kakucho. him taking care of the kids and taking them to school. you could get used to a life like that.

one could only dream.

after coming back from the cafe, you entered your and kakucho's house.

you should've known something was wrong when you saw izana's shoes on the doorstep.

"kaku? i saw your car out, are you home?" your voice rang out through the house.

no answer.

you exhaled and called out kakucho's name again, but he still didn't answer. from the window, you saw small droplets of water drip down the clear glass.

"hm, it's raining."

looking away from the window, you glanced over at the living room to see if there was any evidence of him being there.

that was when you saw it.

your white couch, stained with something red. it wasn't a lot of blood, just a smidge of it.

something was wrong.

"kaku?" you called out as you ran upstairs, trying to find him.

that was when you heard a grunt coming from your master bedroom.

you swallowed the lump in your throat and pushed open the door to see your boyfriend, bloodied and beaten up. izana was right next to him, smiling at the kakucho while whispering sayings to him.

"kaku?" you called out and ran to him, "oh my god, kaku what happened?"

ignoring the white-haired man beside you, you cupped kakucho's face and examined his injuries. "who did this to you? oh my gosh, you have bruises everywhere, what happened?"

you didn't notice that kakucho didn't give you a single glance when you came into the room. when he finally looked at you, his eyes were blank. it looked like the life had been sucked out of them.

you had no choice but to get answers from the male next to you, "kurokawa, what happened?"

the white-haired man just shrugged and smiled, "he seemed to forget what his priorities in life were. i had to reteach them to him."

"you did this to him?"

izana nodded, causing your hand to fly up and slap him across the face. you clenched your jaw, raising your hand to do it again when someone grabbed your wrist to stop you.

kakucho did.

"kaku, let go! he hurt you!" you wriggled in his grip, but he was too strong.

"stop, y/n, he's right. i have forgotten what's important in this world."

"baby, what are you talking about?"

he let go of your wrist and glared at you. there was a certain look in his eyes, a look you knew was dangerous.

you were scared.

"you," he started, "are a problem."

"don't problems need to be taken care of?"

"what?" was the only thing you could muster out.

"he met takemitchy the other day," izana said from behind you, "it was a real eye-opener for him."

kakucho spoke, "takemichi is an obstacle and only causes problems, so-"

"i killed him."

you stared at kakucho, tears starting to build up in your eyes, "k-kaku, i thought you said you didn't kill."

he ignored what you said, "you- you are causing problems because you are distracting. you distract me from izana's real goal. you distract me from izana. i am loyal to only izana."

it sounded like he was trying to convince himself of that too.

you were panicking. this wasn't your kakucho. your kakucho wouldn't look at you like that. your kakucho wouldn't say these things.

"kaku-"

there's a gun. he pulled it out of his pocket. you didn't even notice he had one on him.

he's pointing it at you. his finger is on the trigger.

"did kurokawa say something to you? is that why you're like this?"

"i only told him what was right. it seemed like he was living some fairytale with you, so i told him to get rid of you," izana smiled, "kakucho, do it."

you saw kakucho's lips go into a fine line, then replied, "yes, izana."

you didn't feel it at first. you didn't know why but you just didn't. it wasn't until a few seconds later that you felt your breathing intensify and red liquid trickle onto your skin. you dropped to the ground, small and quick breaths escaping your mouth.

kakucho crouched near you, watching as the life slowly left you eyes.

"k-kaku," you mustered out, tears running down your face, "i loved you. i always l-loved you. how could you do this?"

he let out a heavy sigh, "i'm sorry, y/n."

"i w-wanted to marry you," you choked and saw your vision get blurry.

he sighed, "one could only dream, y/n."

he shut your eyes after seeing you breathe out your last breath and stood back up.

"one could only dream,” he repeated softly, not knowing if he was saying it to you or to himself this time.

[augustghosts]

Useful

Tommy Miller x Fem!reader

Part two of Plastic Trees.

Thank u for the love on part one <3 I’m excited to keep writing this story! I wanted to focus more on tommy and readers' relationship in this so had to get rid of everyone else lmao, anyways. <3

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: 18+! Fingering. Choking. Unprotected PinV. Lots of dirty talk. Kinda dom!tommy. He's a lil rough, but we like him that way, don’t we? Maybe breeding kink if you squint. Slight size kink? Idk I just like to talk about how tall Tommy is. This is like violence from the get go lol. Guns and a few graphic descriptions. Lots of swearing. Lots of pet names, bc i just feel like tommy is the type to use them every other sentence lmao. It gets a little fluffy and awkward at the end. This is also looong as fuck (sorry). Not proofread as always.

Tommy is, rudely, jolted awake by someone aggressively shaking him.

“Dude! Get the fuck up!” An equally aggressive voice hisses beside him. His eyes snap open to a gun pointed right between his eyes. Before he can even process who is on the other side of the weapon, the person holding it is taken down. A loud gunshot rang out from the side of him - Joel. His saviour, of course.

“Come on!” Joel yells.

Tommy shoots up and joins Joel in crouching beside the couch. He doesn’t have time to process what is happening- more shouting and gun shots sound from throughout the house.

“Shit.” Tommy whispers. “I gave my gun to that other asshole.”

He looks around frantically, his eyes landing on the body of the man Joel had just shot. Tommy crawls over and swipes up the gun that had been pointed at him just seconds earlier,

“What the fuck is this?” He asks.

“No fuckin’ clue.” Joel responds. “All i know is we gotta get the fuck out of here. We’re close enough to the door. We can wait for a window- fuck those other guys.”

Tommy nods - he only has one thing on his mind. He looks behind him to the basement door, it’s still closed.

“What about the basement?” He asks as casually as he can.

“Fuck her. I don’t give a shit.” Joel doesn’t even look at him as he responds. “She’s probably the reason they’re here.”

“I don’t think so. These don’t look like the guys who hired us, Joel. Raiders probably.”

“And?” Joel is still scoping out the house. His eyes darted around. “She’s probably dead already. Someone might have already gone down there.”

“So we should go check! We can still get paid!”

“Fuck that.” Joel hisses. The house is suddenly quiet. “Let's go!”

Joel heads to the front door. Tommy is still staring at the basement. Fuck it, he makes a split second decision. The image of the way she looked at him last night and how soft her hands felt flicker through his mind, and his legs almost work on their own as he heads to the door. Whoever had broken into the house is upstairs now, he probably only has a few seconds until they clear up there and come down here.

He storms down the steps, what the fuck is he doing? He thinks about what Joel said - she’s probably dead already. Shit, he hopes not. He reaches the bottom of the stairs and he’s praying that he doesn’t get down there to see something awful. He breathes a sigh of relief when his boots hit the concrete at the bottom and he sees her curled up in the corner. Her knees pulled up to her chest, her head on her knees. She looked adorable.

“Hey! It’s me.” He says. Her head shoots up, her eyes have that fearful look again. The one that got him so fucking hard yesterday. He has to resist hauling her up into his arms.

“What’s happening?” Her voice sounds small.

“Get up.” He spared another look up the stairs and held his hand out to her. “We need to go. Right fucking now.”

She looks between him and his hand, she’s hesitant. Honestly, she feels like she can’t figure him out. Is he really saving her or is he following his brother’s orders again, and taking her out there to kill her. Are the guys that hired her here? Is that where he’s taking her?

“Now!” He practically orders her. His voice was loud and stern. He notices the way her breathing hitches before she reaches out to take his hand. He pulls her up and turns back to the staircase.

“Stay behind me, okay?” He says. She does as she’s told, which he fucking loves. More gunshots that sound too close for comfort have him pausing in his tracks. Tommy jumps as a body collapses at the top of the stairs, she squeaks behind him as blood from the man's head trickles down the stairs.

“Okay, uhm.” He turns to her. “New plan.”

“Could you get yourself through that window?” He asks as his eyes land on the small window in the corner. It’s not tiny, probably small enough for her to fit through.

“Yeah. Yeah I think so.” She looks over and nods. He walks over and looks through. The window is high, eye level. The coast looks clear and he hurries to stack some boxes under the window and call her over. “Get through and when you’re outside, wait there. Don’t move.”

“Wait! Where are you going?” She asks frantically, her hands grasping the sleeve of his coat like she had done last night.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna go upstairs and I’ll come get you.” He gently pries her hand off of his sleeve. “It’s okay. I promise.”

Fuck, as much as she doesn’t want to do this, as she looks up into his big brow eyes she nods. She trusts him. He nods back and when he realizes he’s still holding her hand he drops it - much to her disappointment. He turns and goes up the stairs, he’s gone before she can even blink.

What the fuck? She’s shocked for a moment, but a loud crash from upstairs springs her into action. She climbs up onto the boxes Tommy had stacked and pushes the old rusty window open. Shit, she really hopes it is Tommy that finds her out here and not anyone else. Once she’s on the other side, she realizes this is the first time she’s been outside in weeks. It’s sunrise and she can’t help but stare at it. The sky looks beautiful. If it was someone else who finds her out here, she wouldn’t mind dying while looking at this.

A pair of gloved hands clamp down on her shoulders and she jumps, whirling around ready to… fight? She doesn’t know how to fucking fight. But she doesn’t need to when she lays her eyes on Tommy. He’s staring at her, thinking about how beautiful she looks outside. He’d only really seen her in the basement, guilt hits him as he thinks about it. He hates how much he wants to kiss her - he’d gotten so close last night.

“Where are we gonna go?” She asks.

He doesn’t know. He stays silent as he looks around - they need to get out of here. He takes her arm and pulls her forward to start walking. She accepts her fate and follows him. Despite their rendezvous last night, she was still scared of him. He had still been an accessory to kidnapping her, she doubts that him coming in her mouth had changed anything.

“So, what did you save me for?”

They’d been walking for a while, Tommy knew where they were heading. An empty house he’d scoped out a few weeks prior. A safe house, if you will. He knew it was safe, his mind was reeling when he heard her voice behind him.

“What?” He doesn’t look behind him. He’s walking much faster than her and he can hear how fast she’s walking to keep up.

“Did you bring me out here to kill me? Or are they meeting you out here?”

“Who?” He asks. He turns slightly, she looks up at his gorgeous side profile.

“The people who hired you. Was that them at the house? What happened to the other guys? Your brother?”

“I don’t know.” He sighs. He doesn’t know which one of her questions he’s answering. Why did he save her? He doesn’t fucking know. He hears her sigh behind him, a small oh leaves her mouth. They keep walking for a while and she keeps quiet. Watching him walk - his broad shoulders and his leather gloves that cling to his large hands. The gun he has slung over his shoulder. She’s thinking about how she’s sure he was going to kiss her last night. She’s sure of it. Remembering how he had caught her above the stairs and how his hand had covered her mouth. He was so confusing, he had touched her last night and saved her this morning- now he was walking ahead acting as if he was burdened by her.

She takes the hint and stays quiet. When they reach the house, it looks the same as all the rest. Run down, plants taken over and growing up the walls. She had always thought that was beautiful. Nature taking things back. Tommy unlatches the rusty gate, kicking some leaves from the overgrown lawn out the way. She follows him in, he turns before they reach the door. He’s looking around - looking for someone following them. Because knowing Joel, he would. He has to use some force to push open the door, his gun is pointed forwards and he walks around the rooms with it - she just watches. He walks around for a while, looking through cupboards and trying to make a small fire in the fireplace. The windows are all boarded up so no one can see the fire, it makes the her feel a little claustrophobic but she’s grateful because it is fucking freezing.

“We’re safe, for now.” He says, swinging the gun off his shoulder and placing it down. “We’re gonna stay here tonight. We’ll get movin’ tomorrow.”

“Okay.” She sits on an old couch. “Where?”

“You ask a lot of fuckin’ questions don’t you?” He says.

“I-i just want to know what’s going on.” Tears fill her eyes, she looks away from him. She is not gonna cry in front of this motherfucker again.

“I know of a place.” Tommy continues. He hates to admit seeing her cry does something too him. The same thing it did to him last night. “A community, I know some people there. Joel is probably making his way there too. Might take us a while to get there though.”

She nods at him. He takes a step towards her, he’s towering over her now. He always does, but the fact that she’s sitting down makes him look even bigger - and her even smaller.

“So, if you want to come with me and if you want me to keep you safe, you’re gonna have to be good. You’re gonna have to trust me. And follow my rules.”

She just nods again, dumbly looking up at him with wide eyes. He steps forward some more, standing directly in front of her now. He lifts his hand to grasp her chin, tilting her face up to look at him. The warm leather of his gloves made her melt into his grasp, his long fingers cupping her jaw.

“Can you do that?” He whispers, his voice gets lower and raspier. “Use your words.” He says when she nods again.

“Yes.” She whispers. “I can be useful.”

“Oh yeah?” He smirks. “How?”

“Whatever you want.” She says. “I’ll follow your rules. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“Fuck baby.” He utters. His raspy voice makes her stomach swirl and heat spreads between her legs.

“Was I not useful last night?” She asks as she reaches for his belt. “Do you want it again?”

“Help yourself, gorgeous.” He spurs her on. His hand that was cradling her face moves to her hair as she takes his cock out of his jeans. He’s already semi hard just from teasing her, but he suddenly remembers something he had said last night.

Her hands wrap around his length and he sighs as he lets her jerk him off a few times. Her mouth is watering, but before she can lean forward and take him into her mouth his other hand comes down to cradle her head. He tilts her head up to look at him again and says, “You know what? I believe I made you a promise last night.”

“Huh?” She’s confused. The only thing on her mind being his cock and the heat between her thighs - the thighs Tommy cannot wait to get in between .

“We were interrupted yesterday.” He says, using his grip on her face to pull her up to a standing position. “I recall telling you that you deserved to be touched. Since you were so good, and you’ve been very good today.”

He leaned in, their mouths inches away - mirroring their position from last night. Fuck it, she takes one for the team and leans up to press her lips to his. Both of their lips are dry from being outside in the wind all day but neither of them seem to care. Tommy kisses her back with a passion, like it's his last kiss. She moans into his mouth when his tongue pushes between her lips and he thinks he could have come right then and there.

“Jesus darlin’, you sound beautiful.” He pulls away to grip her ass, hauling her up into his arms, her legs wrap around his waist and he presses a kiss to her neck before he sets her down onto the couch. “I wanna hear you making those sounds all damn night.”

He climbs on top of her, kissing her feverishly again. Now he’s started he feels like he can't stop. It's been too long since he'd been kissed like this. Her warm mouth is a delightful contrast to the cold world outside, and as much as he wants to feel that warm mouth wrapped around his cock again he cant help but want to give in to the soft spot he has for her. And so he does. He begins to kiss down her neck, standing up to strip his jacket off begins a trail to her legs.

Even with the fire, the house is too cold to completely strip - so this will have to do. Besides, neither of them want to get caught in here and not be able to escape quickly. As much as he wants to kneel down between her thighs and make her legs shake, he knows he’s going to have to wait. He pulls her jeans down just enough to be able to slip his hand into her underwear. A breathy moan of his name that she lets out, when he reaches her wetness, hits his ear and makes him shiver. She feels it, and she can also feel how hard he is against her thigh.

“You’re already soaked, sweetheart.” He whispers before biting into her earlobe, she moans as he circles her clit. “You’re gonna have to be quiet for me baby. Can you do that?”

She nods as he pushes a single finger inside of her. His finger pauses as he hums a “hm?” into her ear, lifting his head to look into her eyes. He wants her to answer, wants to hear her voice shake. She looks so small under him, caged into the sofa. He wants to fuck her so badly but he loves to tease. He wants to hear how pretty she sounds when she begs.

“Yes!” She sounds breathless, moving her hips to try and get him to do something.

“What do you want? Hm? Ask me.”

“More! Please, Tommy.” She moves her hips again as she speaks.

“Yeah?” He sounds so condescending as he slides a second finger into her and begins to stroke her walls. God hes an asshole, she fucking loves it. He loves it too. He has a huge grin on his face as he builds up a rhythm with his fingers. Watching her reactions closely as she writhes underneath him.

“I want you to come all over my fingers.” He says, his other hand coming up to grip her face - his fingers squeezing her cheeks, forcing her to look at him. “And then im gonna fuck the shit outta you. I’m gonna make you feel so fucking good.”

His fingers are still moving, they feel so perfect inside of her and she can feel a heat building in her stomach. She reaches up to claw at his arm, he’s confused for a second and almost stops what he's doing, even though he can feel her pussy squeezing around his fingers, before he realizes what she wants.

“Holy shit.” He grins as he moves his hand to grip her throat. Her moans get louder, the sight of her being choked by his hand almost makes him finish in his pants. “You’re so fuckin’ dirty baby. You gonna come for me so i can fuck you?”

“Yes!” She whimpers, “I want you so bad, Tommy.”

The groan he lets out at her words is enough to have her moaning his name as she finishes around his hand, his grip on her throat tightens just enough to make her feel a little lightheaded. She doesn’t remember anyone ever making her feel this good. What a fuck up, the man who kidnapped her in an apocalypse is the one to give her the best orgasm of her life with just his fingers - and he hasn’t even fucked her yet.

“Oh my god, Tommy.” She laughs. He laughs too, it’s beautiful. She almost forgets about the situation they’re in.

“Stand up for me, baby.” He presses one last kiss to her lips before he stands up, she follows - waiting for him to do something. His large hands cradle her waist and maneuvers her so she's standing in front of him. His strong back pressed to her chest, the arm of the couch is in front of her and one of his hands pressed on the small of her back to bend her over the couch.

She can’t believe this is happening right now, neither can he. They're both basically fully clothed, she's bent over a dirty couch in a run down house. The fire is still crackling beside them when he pushes into her without warning. She surges forward, grasping the couch in front of her as she sighs his name.

“So fuckin’ tight, babygirl.” He moans from behind her, hissing through his teeth.

“Please move, Tommy.” She hisses, “You feel so good.”

“I’m gonna fucking ruin you baby.” He sighs as he begins to thrust into her. Her pussy squeezing him is almost too much. It’s been way too long, given that it’s hard to find someone to fuck in the apocalypse. She looks so good bent over in front of him.

“I can’t wait to fuck you properly.” He says, his fingers grip her hips harder as he speeds up his thrusts. “Can’t wait to have you naked in front of me, I’ll fuckin’ worship you, darlin’.”

His words go straight to her pussy, intensifying the fire growing in her stomach. Her hand reaches down to rub her clit, her hand at an awkward angle since her jeans still weren’t pulled all the way down. Just enough for Tommy to be able to fuck her.

“What do you need, baby? Ask for it.” He says when he notices her hand, stopping his movements all together.

“Please don’t stop.” She whines below him. “I’m so close!”

“Yeah?” He grinds into her, relishing in the way she whimpers below him. “You wanna cum?”

“Yes! Please, Tommy!”

He grabs a handful of her hair and tugs, pulling her up so her back is pressed tight to his chest. It completely changes the angle of his cock inside of her and she whimpers his name in a way that makes his cock ache. He wraps his whole arm around her neck and she brings her hands up to grip his bicep.

“Beg for it.” He whispers into her ear.

“Please.” She whispers. Moving her hips to try and get him moving.

“Pathetic.” He says, squeezing his arm tighter around her neck. “You can do better.”

“Please make me cum, Tommy. I need it.” Her voice is strained from the pressure he’s putting on her throat. He thinks she’s never sounded sexier. “I wanna feel you cum. I want you to fill me up, please.”

“Jesus,” He snarls as he begins to slam back into her. “I wish I could, baby. You’d look so sexy with my cum dripping out of you. You’d love that wouldn’t you?”

“Yes!” She cries, “Yes, I'd love it! Please!”

“Don’t worry baby, I've got you. Come on, cum for me.”

She does as he says, as always. And finishes around his cock with a scream of his name. He thrusts into her a few more times and pulls out of her, shoving her forwards into the couch. She doesn’t question him as he slams his hands onto her shoulders and turns her around to roughly shove her to her knees in front of him.

“Open your pretty mouth, baby.” He groans breathlessly, his hand fisting his cock. The sight of him getting himself off with his hand makes a new wave of wetness rush between her thighs. She obediently opens her mouth and sticks out her tongue, looking up at him and watching as his brows knit together as he comes. The moan that leaves him is delicious and actually makes her feel proud of herself. His cum lands on her tongue and he pants at the sight before him.

“You look beautiful like this, fuck.” He says. He’s out of breath - now Tommy likes to believe that he has good stamina. But he also believes that the sight before him would be enough to make anyone breathless.

She remembers how he had told her to swallow the night before, and she brings her tongue back into her mouth to let his seed drip down her throat. He’s shocked. And he’s still kind of hard and honestly, he wants to fuck her again. But he remembers the world he’s in, and remembers they will need to get moving in the morning. So he cradles her jaw in his hands and guides her up to her feet. Tilting her head up to kiss her deeply. It’s almost soft, almost loving.

When they pull away neither of them know what to say. They stare into each other's eyes for a second and she almost looks like she wants to say something but Tommy beats her to it.

“So, uhm,” He begins to tuck his cock back into his pants as he speaks. “So, we’ll get moving in the morning. You should get some rest.”

He’s awkward again, her heart breaks as she watches him revert back to the man who had kept her in the basement. The man who had just fucked her slowly fading into the darkness.

“Oh, yeah. Sure.” She mumbles, doing the button on her own jeans back up.

“I’ll keep watch for a bit, but uh - we should be fine.” He sits down on the couch, reaching for the gun he had put down and props it up beside him on the couch. He sits back and spreads his thighs as he gets comfy. She doesn’t really know what to do. She kind of just stands and stares at him. He looks at her and stares back for a good few seconds. Why the fuck was this awkward? He sighs and reaches his arm out to her.

“Come here.” He says, a lot softer than she’s ever heard him sound before. She takes the hint and steps timidly towards the couch, sitting down beside him and letting him wrap his arm around her. He guides her head to his shoulder. They sit there for a minute in a comfortable silence. He shocks her, yet again, when he reaches down to pick up her jacket and places it over her body like a blanket. She feels like she has whiplash right now - what the fuck is going on?

“Stop thinking. Go to sleep.” He says, his hand squeezes her shoulder and she cuddles up to him. The same thing is going through Tommy’s head. What the fuck was he doing? He can tell her to stop thinking all he likes, but he can’t stop himself. And that’s what he does for most of the night until he sees the soft light of the day begin to stream through the crack underneath the door - he thinks.

[ohbo-ohno]

.. that purge playlist screenshot got me thinking..

the annual purge has started. Soap is confident in himself, staying alive tonight. Locked up in his home, which is out of the way and secured properly(he’s an explosives expert, what did you expect?), so, yeah! He’s making it through. He already does enough killing in his job, he doesn’t want to spend leave doing what he’s no doubt gonna do when he gets back.

all’s well, it’s late, and Soap’s getting ready to head off to bed in his basement. Simple, easy, super secure. He’d hear anyone trying to get in, and his weapons are right at his side! An easy night! .. right?

it’s late. Or early? It’s still dark out when he jolts awake to a crash. Did- did something just break? Where was it? He climbed out of his little makeshift bed, grabbing his gun, just in case.

goes upstairs, there’s nothing there.. musta been a ‘coon! Yeah.

except, it wasn’t. When Soap gets back down into the basement after doing a quick patrol of the house, someone’s down there. A big hulking someone who looks.. familiar.

before he can put his finger on it, that big someone lunges for him, pulling Soap’s back against his big chest as he wraps his hands wrap around his throat, cutting off his air.

that’s when it hits him. That smell. That’s Ghost’s cologne!

uhhh the brainworms stopped brainworming so blah blah Soap wakes up, groggy and chained to a bed. Not his own. Tries to look around, all he sees is the large bed he’s laying on in a dark room. maybe an hour or so later, someone comes down into the room. Ghost. Mmmmakes a comment about how Soap was out longer than he thought he would be, how he should have closed the door behind him going back down into his basement, uhhhhahhdsh yeah

(this is really fucking long I’m so sorry feel free to ignore I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT sorry if you don’t want long things like this sent into your inbox 😭😭)

-👑

that purge playlist is because im writing a ghoap x reader purge au (that i hope to have finished today) for the love of my life lumi

there's soooo much you can do with a purge au!!! you could have ghost use soap as basically a hunting dog, dragging victims to his master for him to kill. you could have reader as a bonkers insane murderer who ghoap become obsessed with after see her kill someone. you could have poor ol' johnny get taken and kidnapped :/

i loooooove your idea, and i'll add a tiny little layer to it if you don't mind:

maybe johnny's a barista and ghost is one of his regulars. he comes in at the same time everyday (not super weird at a coffee shop) and always waits in johnny's line, even if the other line is shorter. he's intense and creepy as hell, barely ever speaking - as soon as johnny figured out his regular order, he stopped speaking at all. he gives johnny heebie-jeebies, but he tips like $20 every day, so whatever

except the day of the purge, he finally speaks. says something super generic like "goin' out tonight?" and johnny gives back an easy answer (no, i'm no fool, smth like that), and ghost says "good. make sure you don't leave your place. never know who you might run into out there."

which like. creepy, but no creepier than ghost (which is the name he always gives, and there's no way it's his actual name yeah?) has ever been. johnny brushes it off, forgets it by lunch

and of course, simon is very glad to see his boy listened to him when he stops by his apartment that night and sees he's locked in. too bad he couldn't afford a better security system

[wannab-urs]

Outtakes - Non-smut vol 2

AO3 | Kofi | Main Masterlist | The Spreadsheet Masterlist | vol 1

Hi friends! Sometimes we want fics that are SFW or we just want to make ourselves sad or we need a little pick me up. I'm here with a list of fics that have no (explicit) smut as of posting! They may have smutty thoughts or mild allusions to smut, but those are marked in the warnings!

Summaries and tags are, in most cases, provided by the author - please be sure to read them as some of these fics may have content you do not wish to read.

updated 1/13/2025

i wonder if you stopped his world like you stopped mine

Frankie one shot by @chronically-ghosted

watching the woman he loves be with someone else is killing him, but for your sake, he manages. But when Benny's birthday loosens him up, he can't help but bear his soul over a phone call. Too bad you don't pick up and he's forced to leave the evidence in a voicemail.

pining, light angst, idiots in love, country music as a catalyst, romance, tw alcohol, tw drinking, hangovers, ultimately very fluffy

Ezra's Journal Entries

Ezra series by @littlemisspascal

This journal’s as good a place as any to admit the honest truth. So here it is: I wish with the entirety of my bloody, beating heart I could be the man you deserve, little love of mine. — Ezra recovers after the events of the film with the aid of a journal and the love of his life.

angsty fluff, Ezra’s dealing with the aftermath of the Green, language, 1st person POV (Ezra), dialogue in italics, angsty fluff, night terrors, PTSD, Ezra dealing with the aftermath of the Green, language, overuse of space metaphors, grief/dealing with loss of a sibling, mild reference of past injury, Part 11 could be read as suicidal ideation so please skip/be warned of that segment due to possible triggers

midnight strikes, where is my prince

Frankie one shot by @undercoverpena

he had been your neighbour. a man you'd stare at through blinds when he’d been on the front lawn. a man you’re now staring at through splintered shards of your mirror—because he saved you.

ANGST 😂. there’s mentions of a break-in. frankie is there and he has a gun, so you know we’re okay. angst. inspired by a scene from scandal-if you know, you know

The District Sleeps Alone Tonight

Marcus P one shot by @whataperfectwasteoftime

I am a visitor here. I am not permanent.

angst, breakups, mentions of Teresa x Patrick Jane

Constellations in his eyes

Dave York one shot by @janaispunk

Your fiancé stands you up on your birthday. Dave doesn’t.

infidelity, shitty boyfriend, angst, fluff, kissing, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, no use of y/n

The One

Dieter one shot by @schnarfer

If one thing had been different, would everything be different today?

Bit of emotional torment, drink and drugs references, Dieter POV, happy ending? Always Fleabag coded.

House Arrest

Dieter one shot by @rulexofxnines

Dieter stays over at your place out of desperation. Things get out of hand so you take control of the situation.

forced proximity, only one bed, a goat

The Howler Monkey

Dieter one shot by @covetyou

You got him here, he was safely tucked away upstairs and everything was going, mostly, according to plan. So, who the fuck is screaming?

no smut but some nudity, implied drug use/addiction, little bit silly, mildly angsty, performance anxiety, screaming, Dieter Bravo's soft cock. basically mild hurt/comfort/fluff with my usual bit of silliness.

Vampire!Dieter

Dieter one shot by @chronically-ghosted

Interview with a vampire, gatsby style

flirting, a bit of blood, maybe dubcon due to The Thrall but i think it's safe to say we all want It from vampire!dieter

Paint With Me

Frankie one shot by @bitchesuntitled

You have a crush on the dad of your daughter’s best friend.

Sexual innuendos and cursing

Door Number Three

Javi G drabble by @morallyinept

Javi shows you what he keeps behind that mirrored door

Character talk alludes to sexy things.

The Infinity Cube

Various Pedro Boy series by @littlemisspascal

When you play with a strange cube, you’re transported out of your current reality with your boyfriend Marcus into brand new ones starring alternate versions of your boyfriend who look and act entirely different every time. With each encounter, you start to wonder if you’ll ever make it back to your real universe?

language, fluff, angst, references to sex but no smut

Hello to the Green

Ezra one shot by @the-blind-assassin-12

Down a ship, a crew, and a working air filter, and suffering from a rapidly worsening infection, Ezra makes one last ditch effort to get home. And he hopes it’s enough.

language, angst, injury and illness, death

Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To

Joel one shot by @freelancearsonist

Joel finds a familiar face while out on a smuggling run.

Rated PG for pure angst, one single kiss, and references to Joel's self-inflicted gun wound/self harm

You're the Loss of My Life

Din one shot by @beskarandblasters

You reminisce on your time with your riduur after his death.

whole lotta angst, fluff in the form of memories, riduur = spouse, talks of death

Sun to Me

Javi P one shot by @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin

Javi wakes up early to do chores, but can’t peel himself away from you just yet.

some PTSD related stuff, smoking and drinking (come on its javi) but other than that just some sweet domestic fluff, reader is able-bodied but otherwise undescribed.

Delicate

Joel one shot by @beskarandblasters

You play with Joel’s hair during a moment of anguish.

angst with a fluffy ending

Observations

Joel one shot by @ezrasbirdie

You're not like the other girls, but it'd be easier if you were. Joel Miller doesn't see it that way.

lots of feelings of insecurity, reader is neurodivergent, this very soft, Joel is very soft, reader is in her 30s, Joel is in his 50s

Duality of a Man

Joel series by @wildemaven

A woman shows up at your door looking for your boyfriend

Mentions of food, Mentions of killing, death, birth, birth trauma

Imperfect for you

Joel one shot by @joelscruff

you never thought joel miller would accidentally call you baby.

age gap (joel is mid 40s, reader is 23), fluff, very brief instance of blood, tending to a wound, joel is eepy, soft kisses, cuddles

What it is to grow

Joel one shot by @burntheedges

Joel knows he can't keep running from it – from Her – forever.

angst, hurt/comfort, hope, mentions of the canon depths of Joel’s depression (pills, alcohol, darkness, etc.), canon character death (Sarah), AU with Greek lore/gods & goddesses in the TLOU universe, character study

Back to You

Din series by @kyberblade

You’ve been friends with Mando for years, and he drops by your hole in the wall bar from time to time to catch up. This time, however, he’s carrying an extra little green passenger with him. They are on the run, which is unsettling because Mando doesn’t run from things. Things run from him. A tracking fob, a dead body, and a confession later, all three of you set out to help the child find it’s kind.

Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Angst, Humor, Friends to Lovers, Introspection, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Romantic Friendship, Emotions, Grogu | Baby Yoda Being a Little Shit, Din Djarin Needs a Hug, Protective Din Djarin, Good Parent Din Djarin, Soft Din Djarin, Force-Sensitive Reader, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Spicy thoughts, but no smut

Midnight Rainstorms

Javi P one shot by @thundermartini

Javier is coming home late, escaping from a storm. You’re trying hard not to drown in the incessant rain.

no y/n, female reader, reader is not physically described (except she has long hair), javier and reader are married, mentions of anxiety, mentions of trauma, mentions of guilt, mentions of narcos plot but it’s a blur, nightmare so it may be triggering, grief, no beta.

Life and Loss

Joel one shot by @wildemaven

Momentos of him, your late husband, have remained tucked away for the last year following his unexpected death. As you settle into your new widowed life and new home over a thousand miles away from the life you created with Dave, all the beautiful memories reside in cardboard boxes out of sight.

death, grief/loss, major character death (no description of said death), AU and crossover universes, kind of fluffy, navigating loss, reader is non descriptive/blank slate.

Call It What You Want

Joel one shot by @chaotic-mystery

Who knew a storm would push you and Joel exactly where you wanted to be but never thought you’d end up?

shocker shocker, Mads wrote fluff for once! There’s a slight mention of arson and your house burning down but ya know, the rest of it is fluff. Nicknames, implied age gap but it’s not specified, storms. NO USE OF Y/N.

Stretch

Joel/Dieter one shot by @sp00kymulderr

Dieter introduces you to his yoga instructor.

M for mentions of sex. AU in which Joel is very flexible. Dieter is a menace. Daydreaming about a threesome. Reader is able bodied/takes part in a yoga class. No use of pronouns for reader but they are called babe & baby. No actual smut

Don't You Ever Grow Up

Joel one shot by @proxima-writes

Joel experiences many emotions as Sarah reaches the childhood milestone of getting her “big girl” bed.

FLUFF and like the kind of angst that makes you smile

Bittersweet Love

Dieter one shot by @ozarkthedog

Dieter is in recovery from drug addiction, the disease that cost him you. This is his first premiere after getting clean and his first one without you.

Angst but with a happy ending! mentions of drug use and alcohol but nothing graphic.

Where You Left Me

Frankie one shot by @chaotic-mystery

You meet Frankie for a date and reminisce about your relationship.

MAJOR character death. No movie AU but fuck Tom. This is overall angst heavy and please take care of yourself. Grief & loss, sadness, memories, I think that’s it? It’s just overall a bittersweet and tragically lovesick story. There’s no physical descriptions of reader other than wearing a black dress at one point and having hair that tickles Frankie’s nose. no y/n used

The Guard Dog

Pero Tovar one shot by @avastrasposts

Sent to your uncle's bleak castle in the north of England, you expect only a dreary existence until you meet his groundskeeper, a scarred, frightening Spaniard. But love in the Victorian era is not easy and life doesn't follow straight paths.

this is mainly all fluff with a bit of angst. Some of that casual racism and prejudice of the period rears its ugly head though. I've tried to keep the reader as blank as possible, but it's Victorian England and she's a lady so I have to presume she doesn't speak Spanish and has fair skin. No use of y/n.

Call It What It Is

Joel one shot by @pedrospatch

A disagreement over patrol duty leads to declarations that have been long overdue.

JACKSON ERA JOEL. established relationship. HEFTY AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and joel is 56). ellie and joel are fine bc i said so and they deserve nothing less. reader handles a rifle, joel’s a little too overprotective and almost seems controlling, but i promise he is not. well, maybe just a smidge. arguing, admission of feelings, joel miller says i love you (yes this is ooc, no i do not care bc i need this old man to tell me he loves me). angst, fluff. quite a bit of side character interaction before we get to joel and reader in the second half. the only physical description of reader is that she is shorter than joel.

Do it Like Madonna

Dieter one shot by @covetyou

Being Dieter Bravo's plus one to a party isn't always all it's cracked up to be, and sometimes, just sometimes, it puts a smile on your face anyway.

no smut. nudity. mention of Dieter Bravo's dick and balls. drug and alcohol use/refrence, improper use of party hats. cameos from Javi G, Oberyn, and Santos (all the P-Boys are there!) gn!reader

There's a Place and Time

Joel one shot by @penvisions

Moving back to your parents house wasn't part of the plan, neither was being a thorn in your neighbor's side. but you roll with the punches, and hey, he's kinda cute when he gets huffy.

age gap (joel is mid 30's / reader is mid 20's), angst, biting words, argumentative language, joel is a lil meanie but so is reader, grief, off-screen loss, depictions of depression, comfort, mushy stuff

Frostbite

Max Phillips one shot by @brandyllyn

By all that was holy in the world, you were going to slap the ever-loving shit out of this man.

This is romantic and sweet and I make no apologies for that. Max being Max, however.

Breaking Down Walls

Din/Dio one shot by @crowandmousewritingco (mouse)

Dio doesn't lose fights, but what happens when he does.

dio gets his ass beat, emotions, fluff

Happy Reading!

[dvzaiosamu]

just a rushed oneshot about osamu dazai, once again. This one is about how he was never happy; nothing could fill more his heart, for he will live forever in the solitude. But he has you, he does, but for him, it doesn't feel enough. Dazai x fem.reader. This has two parts.

tw: suicide, self-harm mentions, depression, not mentally stable, sensitive topics, blood mentions, ect...

song recommendation: the lobotomy by maebi and old doll, mad father.

parts: 1/2

note: In fact, I already had the oneshot for this post done... but, when I wanted to schedule its publication, an error occurred and everything I did was deleted, leaving only what you are going to read below. I literally cried :( I hate my fucking luck. I'm tired now so I won't be able to upload the second part, I'll upload it one day when I feel motivated.

A night with a single moon, a strangely bright starry night. There have never been as many stars as there are today, or at least not as visible as the ones he glimpsed. His heart gave small muffled beats, an audible sigh as he stared at his already fired gun. On the ground lay the body of a weakness that did nothing, was only pierced by a bullet in that dark street full of dangers where he, Osami Dazai called himself the boss of the dangers of those streets, a mere attempt to disconnect from his intrusive thoughts.

He knew better than anyone what was going through his mind; Thought after thought, tiredness once it was over and tired of life, a strangulating stone blocking his throat, a pain and suffering that this world housed him. How was he going to die? He tried and failed, he didn't succeed. In a weak attempt he rubs his forehead, trying to get rid of the headache... Thoughts or headache? Headache or thoughts? Not even he knew it. He was overwhelmed by the burden of living.

In the darkness he continued to find himself, a pool of blood was created in front, obscured by the poor lighting. He couldn't care less about the life of a citizen. He tried to hide it, drown out his thoughts by killing. He thought that if he killed he would be happier, that at least it would be a distraction to get rid of everything. It wasn't like that.

Darkness took over this night, giving it an eerie appearance. Osamu used to love nights like this, when he most enjoyed scaring and then shooting his victims without any remorse, without mercy. He was a cruel murderer.

On the other side you were, considerably far from the young man. You were at your house, a house shared by you and Dazai. It was spacious and quite cozy: it had simple windows that were covered at night by lowering the blinds, for the sole reason that people could clearly see what was going on inside. It was itself a two-story, two-bathroom, three-bedroom house with its own amenities, space, and beds. One of the rooms was yours, the other was Osamu's, and the third was guests'. On that same floor (upstairs) was one of the bathrooms, with all kinds of luxuries, but minimalist in its own way. On the ground floor was the living room with its respective large and long sofa accompanied by a rug, television, shelves for books on one side, some furniture to store things and that's it. Then you had the kitchen and dining room where you were currently, preparing today's dinner, eagerly waiting for your partner to show him another wonderful dish that you decided to prepare.

You finished cooking and preparing a copious table, and you waited, waited and watched the clock tick, with its sound memorized in your brain that repeated like a broken record: tick tock, tick tock...

He always came around the time you finished cooking and getting everything ready for a cozy night in for Dazai after hard work in the mafia. You were worried that something had happened to him, that maybe Mori had detained him a little longer until he finished his missions or that he had simply forgotten that you made him dinner every time he wasn't home, it frustrated you at an end that he had forgotten, but then it quickly melted into worry, you didn't know what to believe and you were confused.

"Why does he takes so long to arrive? It's been over half an hour now and I have no calls, texts or messages from him." The question stood out and resonated in your head: why? Why did it take so long? You sighed and let time move forward. "Guess I'm just going to call him."

Moving your hand to your pants pocket, you grab your phone, tap its screen, and deftly enter your phone's password. Biting your lip repeatedly, you nervously reach his profile and press the call button.

The phone vibrates as you wait for Dazai to answer on the other line, a characteristic sound as you wait impatiently: vzzzzzt. You wait a few minutes and the wait ends with a message: ‘Osamu has not responded.’ Your condition worsens and you press the ‘call again’ button. This time you will finally be able to witness how the young mafioso accepts the call. "Hello Dazai, are you okay? How are you?"

A short two-second pause, overwhelmingly giving off a bad vibe. "I'm fine, what do you need?"

"I just wanted to know where you are. I made dinner and you were nowhere to be found, and look, that's the time you always show up. Something happened?"

"You see... Maybe I dallied on the way home, but you don't have to be so desperate, I'm already on my way, it won't be far away," He explains to you on the other end of the phone, with a carefree voice, still maintaining his soft but icy tone. In the background you can hear his footsteps stepping on the asphalt.

"Well, I guess I'll wait until you get there... Take care, I love you," You hang up the call with a sigh.

Back to Dazai, the youthful mafioso, crude and indifferent. He was walking through some very dimly lit streets. The crickets sing while there is a silence so unusual that it seems pleasant to the ear. There was no wind or noisy people talking on those same streets, there was just him. He was alone.

On the way home, he repeatedly thinks about jumping off an icy water bridge he was passing over. He didn't know what else to do, he wanted to die but without pain, he wanted to die but without losing close ones and friends, he wanted to die but find a reason to live. There were only knots in his mind, he was tired. He thought about committing suicide once and for all with his gun, drinking poison on purpose... So many ways to die and so few possibilities of achieving it.

*sigh*

[fluffykiddosstuff]

what is loves ? (nines x gn! reader part2)

Okay so in this story Connor and Gavin are a couple :3

L/n : last name

______

Nines pov :

As I sent the message to Connor, I waited a bit before getting a response

C : what do you mean?

N : it's for the case, maybe it was something love related so I need to gather more information, detective l/n left so I can't ask them.

It was half true actually, but Connor didn't needed to know what happened with his software earlier.

C : can't you research it?

N : I did but the definition is incomplete and doesn't help, why would humans have butterflies in the stomach? Can androids get them too?

C : it's an analogy - anyway, in some cases, love can make an another person do crazy things like kidnapping their lover so they can only see them, killing an "opponent" to keep them or even killing the loved one if they can't have them, do you understand?

N : yes I think so.. It's unpredictable like deviants right? But why people like love so much if it hurts?

C : well.. Nothing is all black or white in a relationship, it's more Grey, and sometimes it gets darker or lighter, for example, when hank found out I was dating Gavin, he got absolutely crazy and pursued him in all of the office, hank and I have a "father and son" relationship, he thought he meant well but ended up hurting my feelings, so he apologized and accepted Gavin, well sort off.

N : I think I understand better now, thank you

C : no problem, good night

Many days passed since this night but the "feelings" Nines was experiencing, we're getting bigger and bigger every time something happens between both of you. Even if it was something very little. On the good way, you all almost got the case clear, you all just needed to go to the suspects house and interrogate them, easy right?

Nines knocked on the door, Connor was on his left while you and Gavin were behind them, hank being at the station for something else and would come later.

"anybody home!?" screamed the Rk900, at first nothing, but you all heard shuffling inside, Gavin drew his pistol out and so did you, the androids broke the door and you all started to search the house after your suspect.

You got downstairs when Gavin searched at the kitchen, nines got into the rooms and Connor made sure the suspect couldn't get away, there was a 50/50 chance that the suspect would be armed, but oh nines was wrong to let you go down there alone. The three of them heard a loud scream and shuffling coming from the basement, the upgraded android was faster to get down and reach to you, there was no much light but with his advanced optics, he could see many pictures on a board, some crossed with a red X or a big circle also in red, all of them being android-human couples. The next one was a picture of you and him, going out in the park and talking about some personal stuff, when did that happened? Why didn't he noticed him take a picture?

But that wasn't the more alarming thing, he had you under his gun, yours being far away behind, he scanned you and saw you had a broken arm, due to fighting against this monster. His fists clenched and he lowly cursed.

"STAY WHERE YOU ARE OR I'LL SHOOT THEM!"

Nines searched all the possibilities, you had a chance of survival of 20%, he had to save you. He couldn't lose you.

He contacted Connor to tell him to stay upstairs and call backups, as much as he despised this man, he tried to talk with him to gain more time.

"why do you do this, killing these couples?"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR DAMN BUISNESS GOD DAMN MACHINE!"

Chance of survival : 10% ⬇️

"we aren't even a couple, juste coworkers, if you hate so much androids I'm the one you should kill not them."

"Nines no-"

Chance of survival 30% ⬆️

"yeah you are right, androids always fucks up everything! I had a wife, and kids! This bitch cheated on me with him! Heck even my kids doesn't speak to me anymore saying he is a better dad than I am!"

"I-I understand your hatred towards us but why do you kill the humans too? Don't you want to protect your own r-race?" you managed to say, even if it was hard to breathe with his arm around your throat.

"I-I guess I wanted to get rid of the people who thought they were alive, so no one would think like them anymore and see they were only machines.. Only big ass roombas doing the chores!"

Chance of surviving 50% ⬆️

you started to cry, having the man's arm under your throat and all the  stress was making you crazy, you  looked at nines with pleading eyes.

"i'll take their place as the hostage, let them go"

the man grinned and looked at nines 

" oh no they are more valuable than you, you can get easily replaced right ? they can't"

that's when a sound was heard behind the man's head, a pistol where you take the safety off, there  was hank, he appeard through the big window in the basement and stood behind the threat.

"hands where i can see them, no sudden moves" 

hank got upstairs with him so the other officers could take care of him. you dropped on your knees, crying, the rk900 came closer and stroked your cheeks, taking the tears away.

" are you alright ? no other injuries ?"

"no i'm okay..thank you nines, you saved me.."

the android's LED spinned yellow and red at your words, why did you thanked him, it's hank who saved you after all.

"i didn't do anything i-"

"no that's not true, you are the one who runned when i screamed, who gained more time and contacted the others, if you weren't there, i would either be dead or a threat to the others, so thank you for that"

you took his hands in yours, he then did the thing you didn't know he could do, he hugged you, tightly but not too tight to cause any discomfort to your broken arm. tears of joy started to make their way on your cheeks and you hugged back.

"why did you wanted to sacrifice yourself nines ? i want to know.." you looked at him in concern

"because..you are the most amazing human i know, i can't take it when you are hurt, and i can be easily replaced after all"

"no don't say that i..i don't want an another rk900 sent here i...i just want you"

you stroked his cheek and started to get closer, nines came closer and kissed you on the lips tenderly. you separated and connected your foreheads together.

"you broke protocol didn't you ?"

"yes, only for you"

that's when the basement opened to a worried connor who smiled when he saw both of you in each others arms, the funny part was when gavin poked his head to see what was going on and screamed at the top of his lungs :

"ARE YOU GUYS GONNA COMME OUTTA HERE OR FUCK ALREADY !?"

you both laughed as you got upstairs, nines putted you in the ambulance and waved as you got away to get taken care of, he turned to a smiling connor holding his boyfriend hand, who was muttering god knows what and was red as a tomato.

"i wish you to be happy nines"

both of the rk units smiled and the predecessor got in a car to go back to the dpd, making reports with his partner, the rk900 looked at his hands then at the sky, smiling

many adventures awaits both of you, hopefully for the best

-------------------

(1314 words)

[weirdmorefics]

Unmasked Chpt 3

Chpt 1 Chpt 2

AO3 Etsy, Youtube

TW- Graphic gore

Taglist- @bunbunbl0gs

AN- Sorry for the delay been without power for a few days due to the insane storm in Maine.

Word Count- 2,386

Spencer drove the van to my aunt's house where I figured out my sister was by texting Dewy. Spencer immediately got into the driver's side without asking me to drive which struck me as odd because I know how much he despises driving. The car was filled with uncomfortable silence I could easily sense Spencer was still upset with me for hiding so much. I wish he would just understand I did this to protect them even though it clearly did not work. I begin to pick at the skin around my nails the old habit that always seems to come back when I am in terrible situations. My nails and skin were already scabbing from me anxiously picking them during the flight and I could easily pick at the old scabs. As I reached to mess with the barely healed wounds Spencer grabbed my hand and placed it in his.

"You really shouldn't pick at those your red blood cells just spent hours scabbing them over. That's a lot of work for the cells to do for you to just carelessly rip them off," he says factually not letting go of my hand.

I smile at him just thankful he's talking to me after the cold shoulder I had been receiving from him.

"My sister is going to be so mad when she sees me," I mutter.

"You are worried about that over the masked killer right now?" Spencer's lip quirks into a slight smirk.

I roll my eyes, "Of course I am but you have not seen the fury of Sidney Prescott especially when you don't listen."

"I am assuming it's similar to your fury, you have quite a temper of your own," he grins and it feels like how we used to be. Before Scratch, Cat Addams, and my true identity came into the picture.

I sigh, "You know I am really sorry for hiding this all from you. I trust you most in the world but I hide my background for the well-being of others. Ghostface targets those closest to you and won't stop till all your loved ones are dead or he's dead."

Spencer's hand grips mine tighter, "I understand why you didn't tell me. I kept secrets too, to protect my mother but you saw where that landed me. We are better when we work together as a team."

I inhale deeply, "I suppose you're right."

I swallow deeply as we pull into the driveway, Spencer reluctantly drops my hand so we can both exit the van. I clench and unclench my fist in preparation to knock on the door. I knock once and hear quick rushing around inside then Dewey greets us at the door gun in hand.

I raise my hands up and so does Spencer, "Chill Dewey, it's just me."

He shifts his gun to Spencer, "Who's the guy?"

"He's another agent at the BAU I trust him with my life," I state.

He lowers his gun, "Yeah, you and Sidney don't have the best track record with that."

"I missed you to," I say bitterly.

Sidney appears at the mention of her name and her eyes widen in surprise, "I told you to do one thing Y/N! Not come back to Woodsboro! What are you doing here?"

"You forget this type of stuff is my job Sid," I mock.

"This is different, and you know it! They don't want to kill a stranger they want to kill you," She shouts.

Spencer chimes in, "Agent L/N is not alone the BAU team is here."

Sidney's eyes narrow on him as if noticing his presence for the first time, "L/N? Oh right, you are still using the fake last name. Do they even know who you are and what you have gotten them into?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose, "Yes, they know... Ghostface called."

Worry instantly coats her face, "He called you! You are alright aren't you?" She instantly starts scanning for any visible injuries.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," I brush off her worry.

"Nice seeing you Y/n, and talking to you Sidney. I have to get back to the station to meet with Y/n's team," Dewey lets us know as he makes his exit as his radio chatters.

"I am going upstairs to check on Jill. She got a call this morning too," Sid sighs.

"I'll come with I haven't seen my cousin since she was a baby," I reminisce.

The silence between me and my sister is defining I am encountering that awkward silence a lot today. We walk upstairs to Jill's room Spencer right behind us and Sid knocks once before entering.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Sid backs out quickly of the doorway and blocks my view.

"No, sorry, he was just leaving. He's my ex, " Jill defends quickly.

"Oh," Sid pauses as we both exchange knowing looks.

"The one and only," the said ex responds. "It's cool to meet you... officially. I keep meaning to pick up a copy of your book but I keep forgetting to... you are much smaller in person."

This guy was really starting to give me the creeps but Sidney just chuckled in response. He climbed out the window without saying another word. It felt like deja vu almost, a reminder of Billy Loomis sneaking into my cool older sister's room through her own window then nearly killing me a few days later.

My heart pounded at the memory and I assume my sister's did too because Jill turned to face us confused by our faces and asked, "What?"

"Nothing. You just... uh remind me of me," Sidney stuttered.

Jill laughed and I interjected, "Lock your windows... please."

"Y/n, I didn't know you were coming?" Noticing my presence.

"Had to keep my baby cousin safe didn't I?" I smile

She smiles back, "You really didn't have to."

"Of course I did! That's what family is for. Get sleep, okay?"

Sidney shuts the door and as we turn around we are jumped by the presence of another officer. Even Spencer did not notice the new cop's presence which makes me suspicious of her immediately.

"Just checking in, making the rounds," She tries to ease our nerves.

"Great. Thanks," Sid responds.

I flash my badge, "Thanks but I've got it covered." Spencer gives me an odd look as I brush the cop off.

"Kinda hard to have it covered when you're one the targets. Don't you think?" Her response made my anxiety increase ten times more than it already was. "You two don't remember me? Do you?"

"Excuse me," Sid jumps in.

"Judy Hicks? We went to high school together. We had the same homeroom and drama club. Y/n you used to be so little Sidney would sneak you into drama rehearsals because you loved Shakespeare. We were in Peterpan together I played a lost boy. Sidney was ...Tiger Lily." She tries to jog our memory failing miserably. I honestly think I blocked out my whole childhood just to forget the trauma but the trauma was the only thing to stay.

Sidney speaks for the both of us, "I'm sorry, that was a long time ago."

"It's okay you two both had a lot going on back then," she says sympathetically.

I feel Spencer's gaze on the back of my head but I don't want to turn around to face him because I know only pity will fill his eyes.

"Well, it was nice to see you again Judy," Sid responds.

She smiles and says, "You too," before exiting.

Sidney turns to me, "You really should not have come here Y/n."

"I had to! Ghostface won't stop until they have their perfect stop," I yelled in annoyance.

"Yet you got more people involved," her gaze directed on Spencer.

"I trust him! I trust my team!"

"Come on Y/n we can't trust anyone! And you know it! You haven't used your real last name in years. That is the epitome of distrust," she shouts back.

I clench my fists unsure how to get through to her and Spencer puts his hand on my shoulder, "I won't let anything happen to your sister. I swear my life on it."

"It might come to that... it often does," she responds coldly.

The argument comes to a sudden stop when screaming is heard from Jill's bedroom. Spencer and I instantly draw our weapons and rush into the room. Jill and her friend are pressed up against the window screaming. Spencer is quick to rush them out of the way and Sidney backs up in shock as soon as she sees the scene unfolding. Ghostface is brutally attacking Jill's neighbor with no remorse.

"Reid! Do you have a shot?"

He tries to aim his gun, "No, they're moving too much!"

"Screw it," I rush out of the room and Sidney rushes after me.

"L/N! Shit Prescott!" I hear Reid shout.

I can tell he is really mad by the swearing which he hardly ever does but I don't have time for his feelings right now. I won't let Ghostface hurt me or my family ever again.

Sid shouts for the cops as I continue to run for the house. I try the door but it is locked so I bust the window open with the butt of my gun. I run up the stairs and hear quick footsteps follow behind me.

"The cops are missing," Sid shouts.

"Of course they are," I sigh as I run.

We sneak into the room using the wall as cover. We enter into a horrific scene blood splattered all over the walls and the poor girl's organs falling out of her. Sidney sinks to the ground trying to keep her breaths even. I hold my gun tighter, I am used to scenes like this while working at the BAU, but this is a new level of overkill.

A phone somewhere in the room starts to ring. Sidney and I exchange glances as I walk towards the phone to pick it up.

"Welcome home Y/n. Nice of you to join us, though I wouldn't say I gave you much of a choice. I hope you and Sidney enjoyed my preview of the movie." I could hear the smirk in his voice over the phone.

I swallow deeply and growl, "Why don't you say that to my face."

"Oh Y/n, we both know you are not star material. Hiding away solving crimes so you don't have to face your own. Put your sister on the phone why don't you?" The mechanical voice of my nightmares mocks me.

I put the phone on speaker and Sidney shouts an aggravated, "What!"

"It is time to relinquish your stardom to someone who actually deserves it, Sidney," Ghostface seethes and I can tell this is what it is really all about for this Ghostface. The fame.

"This isn't a fucking movie!" Sid shouts.

"It will be," the grin in his voice could be heard.

"These people are innocent!" I jump into the conversation.

"Shut it Y/n! This isn't about you! Sidney understands she has done quite well under all this bloodshed," the caller's emotions are up and down like a yo-yo.

"I am going to slit your eyelids in half Sidney so you can watch when I gut your sister like a fish! Just like the town you left gutted in your wake of destruction. Then you will die when I want you to! Not a moment before or a moment after! Until then you suffer," Ghostface screams.

"Sid, none of this is your fault," I assure her.

"Y/n!" I hear Spencer shout from downstairs he must be ticked to be using my first name in the field.

"Sidney," Jill shouts after Reid. Damn, what was he doing letting civilians over here... I'm no better I let my sister over here too.

"Jill?" Sid questions loudly.

I hear Spence and Jill's footsteps on the stairs. Sidney is quick to block the doorway with her body.

"Ried! What are you doing letting my cousin up here!" I shout.

"What are you doing here without backup!" He shouts back at me equally mad.

Jill tries to look around Sidney, "Is she alive?"

"Do not look! Okay?" Sid shouts

"She said you were the angel of death," she looks at Sidney in fear.

I frown at the statement when I see Ghostface appear behind Spencer and Jill.

"Look out!" Sid shouts too late as Ghostface slices Jill's arm.

Jill falls to the ground and I am quick to shove Spencer out of the way of Ghostface. I stumble down the stairs and unfortunately drop my gun. Ghostface swiftly kicks my gun away from my reach. I rapidly stand trying to find a makeshift weapon and slam a picture frame over their head. Ghostface sweeps my legs and I fall hard onto my back knocking the air out of my lungs. Ghostface hovers over my body knife in their hand. I struggle to flip them over but eventually I do and Ghostface rolls down the stairs and so do I.

"Y/n," I hear Spencer shout and quick footsteps.

I turned to look which was definitely a bad decision as Ghostface yanked my hair and held a knife to my throat. I kicked my foot backwards into his shin which caused them to drop the knife. I turn and sucker punch the bastard in the face knocking them to the ground.

Two town policemen burst through the door, "Where is he?"

I turn to point but am shocked to find him missing, "He-he was just here."

"We'll check out back," They say exiting.

Spencer grabs my face in his hands leaving me utterly shocked as he turns my face side to side checking for injuries.

"What were you thinking shoving me out of the way!" He shouts.

"Protecting your life! He will kill you right away! You aren't important to his movie," I defend

"And what part do you play in this movie?" He asks

"It- it doesn't matter," I stutter out.

"Y/n, what part do you play in this movie?" He repeats himself sternly.

I gulp, "For my sister to fail to save me one last time."

[asterdisaster06]

Always An Angel

joel miller x gn!reader

summary > "You can call me a faithless slut if you like. I’ve taken a new lover. He can give me what you cannot,” You hiss.

“Death is not a lover,” Joel disputes.

“Oh yes he is,” You chuckle mirthlessly. “I am done with my own whorish heart and I have been for a long time. You talk about taking a stand but there is no stand to take.”

word count: 1.7k

TW > Major Suicide Ideation and allusions to it

a/n > i finished "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy recently and i was inspired

“Everything would be a lot easier if you fucking sat still,” You seeth, attempting to stitch Joel up after a run in with some rogue vagabonds.

“It’s not lethal, I’m fine,” He says with a wince as you tie it off with a little more force than necessary. Just to get your point across.

“I don’t know where we are, you look like hell, and I don’t know how much longer I can do this,” You heave - your stomach churning at the sight of his wound.

Your eyes fall to the stopped clock, every single one in this godforsaken land stopped at a different time. A small voice of desperation wonders how much energy it would take to fix them all, to return to the once taken for granted past. Ellie was asleep in the upstairs room; although asleep is an assumed white lie to make you two feel better. It’s more likely that she’s rifling through the bathroom cabinets for any medicine or keeping watch.

“I wish I was with Sarah,” You lamented.

“You mean you wish you were dead,” Joel growled, bristling at the very mention of her. As quickly as he gets riled up, he gets equally disheartened at the thought of that being your truth. He tries to sit up, and you give him credit that it almost worked, but he quickly relinquishes to the mortal limits his torn and scarred body gifts him. An unwanted present.

“Yes.”

“Don’t say that, don’t you dare say that, darling,” He almost begs, the slick of his own blood staining both of your hands. “We’re survivors,” Joel asserted, his grip on your hand weaker than usual. Almost as weak as this was making your heart.

“What in God’s name are you talking about? We are the farthest thing from that. Death is setting the table for us because it is inevitable; and honestly? I might bring him an early housewarming gift - a thank you for taking us in when nobody else will,” You cry out.

“I am begging you, for the love of- Please just hear me out.”

“No, I’m done. I don’t care. I don’t care if you cry, it doesn’t mean anything to me. Not anymore,” You jeered.

“Please, sugar.” Joel looked pathetic lying there - his complexion pale from blood loss and the salt and pepper sprinkled in his hair reminding you of all you’d been through together. His rough hands softened by the ichor flowing from the wound.

“Stop it,” You plead.

“I am begging, I’d do anything for you.”

You almost feel bad for him. Living cannot be easy, you know this as well as anyone. Living for yourself is ten times harder. You know this because you never would have come this far without Joel and Ellie. Your Joel. Your Ellie. Your only worldly possessions in this hell on earth. You challenge anyone to judge your wording when it’s the gospel truth that the bond between you three is the only tangible thing worth a damn to you anymore.

“Such as what? We should have done it a long time ago when there were still three bullets in the gun instead of two. The army of knaves that almost killed you, killed Ellie, killed me, will catch up to us eventually. You can’t be that naive to think they’re just going to give up on tracking us down after we killed some of their men. Or maybe you just are overconfident in my skills of concealment, which it would do you good to quickly dispel that delusion. I can guarantee you that they will find us. They will find us and they will kill us. They will rape me. They will rape her. They are going to rape us and kill us and eat us and you won’t face it. You’d rather wait for it to happen. But I can’t. I can’t,” You snarled, grieving over the life that could’ve been but never will.

Not anymore. You spat and swore and it is all for naught and you know that because there is nothing you can do about it. The sincerity of it is the only pure thing left in this world. It’s ironic enough to make you laugh, no matter how insane it makes you feel.

“Don’t fucking say that,” Joel rasps. A cursory retort that means very little to you at this point.

“Do you really think that? That we’d be better off dead?” A voice from the stairwell and you don’t even have to turn around to imagine the expression on her face right now. You knew that you’d been too loud and eventually she would come down to check on Joel and yourself.

“Maybe not you two, but we’ve been over this. I didn’t bring myself to this. I was brought. And now I’m done. I’m fucking done,” You sob, curling up into your own limbs stained red and metallic with the facts of your situation.

“That is so goddamn unfair of you. You don’t get to make that decision. Everyone I have cared for has either died or left me,” Ellie swore, “Everyone except for you. I can’t do it without you.”

The tears drive you over the fence, back into the world of the living. The pure anguish and agony you feel at that fact isn’t normal. You know that in the morning you will feel ashamed over your distress, but these are likely the last hours of your life that you can spend with these two by your side. You don’t know why you even patched Joel up - a silly, stupid, childlike hope that he could get you out of this scenario again because he was always the strong one. Always the one that knew what to do and now he’s on the verge of passing out. Or maybe it’s been an old habit ingrained into you for so long that you wouldn’t know what to do with your hands otherwise.

“I shouldn’t have even told you. That would probably have been best. We have two bullets and then what? Joel, you can’t protect us. You say you’d die for us but what good is that?” You sigh, the fight leaving you as quickly as it came. It took too much energy and hope to even argue.

“And giving up is any better?”

The blood roaring in your ears made it difficult to discern who even whispered that, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. None of it. Not anymore. They would come and you wouldn’t be able to stop them, and you weren’t sure you’d even try.

“I wouldn’t leave you,” Joel muttered.

“I don’t care. It’s meaningless. We used to talk about death, but not anymore. Why do you think that is?” You acknowledge.

“It’s because it’s here,” Ellie recites from behind you.

“You can call me a faithless slut if you like. I’ve taken a new lover. He can give me what you cannot,” You hiss.

“Death is not a lover,” Joel disputes.

“Oh yes he is,” You chuckle mirthlessly. “I am done with my own whorish heart and I have been for a long time. You talk about taking a stand but there is no stand to take.”

“For the love of God, darling. Give me the knife,” Joel stressed, reaching out and stumbling as he does so. It’s pathetic.

A flake of obsidian. Sharper than steel. The edge an atom thick. Joel had taught you himself. You kick the gun towards him, an absent look upon your face. Your facial expression betraying a sardonic sort of scorn. His eyes meet yours and search for anything radiant but comes up short of anything but sanguine. There was no argument left to be had. The nights spent debating with the earnestness of philosophers chained to a madhouse wall came to fruition on this night.

You leave with the fitting coldness of it being your final gift. You could hear Ellie begging Joel to make you come back, but it was all nil. Your heart was set. If you were going out, it wouldn’t be without a fight though. The cold dew brushing against your exposed skin as green blades slice up your ankles bring you back to the present. A punishment for forgetting the small moments of life that make it worth it, even if just a little bit.

You take a stand at the edge of the forest, perched in a tree. You sit there, finding comfort in the incommodious malaise. You were starving, exhausted, and cramped, but you refused to let the risk of them finding you while you sleep exist. Eventually the stomps of their footfalls give away their position and you find yourself on the move. An angel of death is what you are, slicing them down where they stand. Joel taught you well, not well enough to avoid all of their bullets or hatchets, but enough to stay standing long enough to make sure they all lay dead. Visceral brain matter and viscera laying, bodies butchered.

You knew that they wouldn’t leave you alone if you stayed in their territory - not now, not ever. You had to move, but you bought enough time for Joel and Ellie. That was all you could’ve asked for. A stray bullet whizzes past you, striking fear into your heart.

“I thought you were done,” Joel calls out from behind you. It was now that you could see he had taken down one last enemy you hadn’t spotted.

“Maybe I am,” You chuckle caustically.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” He sighs, taking your scathing words with a grain of salt. He knew you didn’t mean it anymore. It was simply the principle talking for you.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” You speak, a mixture of the geographical locus and simply being in the living world lacing your reference.

“And yet you don’t want to leave, sugar,” Joel says. It was a gaudy assumption, but a true one nonetheless.

“We only have one bullet left,” You admise.

“You only have one life left. I know which one I’d rather keep,” Joel remarks.

He and eventually Ellie figure out that your threats and claims aren’t to be taken seriously, and that if you were to die it would be in a way that mattered. They share the same sentiment and have their own moments rivaling yours, but you’d never leave each other. Not like this. Not in a way that mattered.