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warsofasoiaf · 1 year

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What is your favorite Bashir episode and why is it Inter Arma?

Inter Arms Enim SIlent Leges is a good episode, and one worthy of a full episode analysis given its complex themes regarding patriotism and loyalty. It's my favorite of the "serious" Bashir episodes, but it's not my favorite Bashir episode ever. That belongs to the absolutely delightful Our Man Bashir. During many Bashir episodes, his idealism comes into contrast with pragmatism many times such as with O'Brien in Hippocratic Oath. Bashir as a character has a love of espionage, albeit a very romanticized version, and his idealism comes quickly in contrast when he meets the actual nitty-gritty of espionage in Obsidian Order ex-operative Elim Garak and the terrifying fanatical Section 31. Bashir sees it as an adventure, to fight cartoonish supervillains in the holodeck or spar using dialogue with Garak across the lunchtable. Here, like every holodeck episode, the fun and games have real consequences.

Let's get this out of the way first though, this episode is a comedy and it's a very funny one. Bashir is playing a James Bond-esque adventure clearly modelled after the more gonzo offerings from the Roger Moore era. Holodeck episodes can often be used to create completely ludicrous moments that would simply be out of place in a regular episode (Patrick Stewart's noir dialogue, Brent Spiner in an Old West dress). The actors are clearly enjoying the ridiculousness of the plot and play it to the hilt. Avery Brooks is having a ball as Hippocrates Noah as he rants about destroying the world. Nana Visitor gave the worst Russian accent she could and couldn't stop smiling at turning around on the revolving bed while wearing a slinky dress. Just watch as any character, even Andrew Robinson saying the world "molten lava," and watch how much emphasis they're putting on it, to the point where even the protagonists of the episode are hamming it up. When it comes to some creative projects, the fun that the actors are having in the role comes across the screen, and that mood becomes infectious, and Our Man Bashir does that with remarkable gusto.

The opener lets you know that this episode won't be very serious, with Bashir in full James Bond swagger, taking out the evil henchman Falcon with a champagne cork and a one-liner so he can smooch a Bond girl, only to be interrupted by Garak, who has clearly hacked his way into the holosuite to see what Bashir has been doing and relentlessly troll him while doing so. Andrew Robinson has always been a great foil for Alexander Siddiq and the two have great on-screen chemistry in every episode they're in, but this episode really takes the cake with Garak's sarcastic quips to start followed by serious disagreements with to follow. The episode opener even ends with Garak saying: "What could possibly go wrong?" to lampshade how holodeck episodes always are "crew stops in for a little recreation in the holodeck, malfunction happens, hijinks ensue as the fictional becomes real."

Then we have the escalation, where Sisko, Kira, Dax, Worf, and O'Brien all get blown up in a runabout, and their transport patterns are stored in the system computer and routed into the holosuite, turning the characters of Bashir's spy flick into the bridge crew. This is completely BS Star Trek technobabble of course, but it's a clearly transparent framing device to give Bashir and Garak the stakes. They have to continue the holosuite adventure or their friends get dumped from memory and deleted. The holosuite safeties are off, so if any of the characters die, either Bashir or Garak or any of the avatars of the bridge crew taking the characters, then they die for real. It's so blatant it almost feels like a wink and nudge, much as how Kira can't keep from laughing when Bashir, Dax, and O'Brien are shrunk in One Little Ship. Making matters worse, is that several of the characters are scripted to die. Bashir's heterosexual life partner Chief O'Brien becomes his eternal nemesis Falcon. So while O'Brien will play his role and attempt to kill Bashir without a second thought, Bashir can't simply eliminate Falcon because it means terminating Miles. This sets up not only the stakes, but the central conflict between Bashir and Garak: idealism versus pragmatism. Taking out O'Brien is easier, but it means killing him. On the contrast, if Falcon kills Bashir and Garak, the program ends and everyone dies, O'Brien included.

Bashir and Garak continue through the adventure, with Garak frequently commenting on how none of this represents actual espionage work that he performed for the Obsidian Order and that this is all ridiculous nonsense. To Garak, being an operative meant getting his hands dirty and performing morally dubious actions for the good of the state. This is a staple of John le Carre spy fiction and the chief dramatic antithesis of the James Bond motif. In le Carre's works, spycraft was often grossly out-of-sync with the stated moral philosophy of the nation's practicing it, and this is true in our own world, from CIA coups in Central and South America to promote illiberal autocracy to NKVD brutality against the proletariat that they were ostensibly laboring to elevate. To Garak, Bashir's spy program is an insult to the very difficult work that he had to do - Bashir gets a penthouse suite and a sexy valet polyglot genius pilot with a Bond girl name the equal of Pussy Galore or Honey Goodhead, Garak does grunt work as a gardener on Romulus and may or may not have had a hand in the unexplained deaths of multiple Romulans. Garak's life wasn't a fantasy...it was work.

The rest of the spy novel proceeds, with Kira playing the role of KGB vixen Komananov, clearly a stand-in for Russian Bond girls like Tatiana Romanova and Garak as a clearly unwanted plus-one (as Bashir's holoprogram is designed for one participant). They meet Worf as a suave French henchman, where even Michael Dorn's stoic baritone only adds to the comedy. Worf often plays the Straight Man in any scene he's in, but with the added glitz and glamour, he truly pulls off the role of a capable number two man to contrast with Hippocrates Noah's lunacy. This is one of the strengths of the episodes, in taking the characters and using their strengths while getting more than a few to play against type. Dax goes from confident old soul to the naïve Honey Bare, Kira adds a seductive edge while not losing her aggression, and Starfleet Captain Sisko becomes a high-functioning genocidal madman (though given Avery Brook's performance as Joran Dax, it's clear that he can definitely play villains with skillful aplomb). It's this sort of playfulness that maintains the comedy while trusting in the strength of the actors to carry their scene.

Sisko as Noah might be the story's antagonist, but the true conflict in the scene happens with Garak and Bashir as their idealism vs. pragmatism comes to its conclusion. Garak has done a lot of shady business and has accepted that there are casualties in conflicts, and while it's certainly not ideal, in the end it's better to take out some of the bridge crew rather than all of them, and that sometimes you need to cut your losses. While not explicitly stated, chances are good that Garak is remembering intelligence sources that he cultivated that he abandoned when they were discovered. Garak castigates Bashir as living out a shallow power fantasy where he pretends that he's a hero; Garak knows the truth - spies aren't heroes. They do deeply unpleasant work for the benefit of their nation. And so, he says that he'll end the program and save himself, and that Bashir isn't the man he pretends to be and won't stop him.

Bashir refuses to surrender to the obvious choices that Garak and even the program itself asks, as its script demands either Honey Bare or Komananov dies while the other girls gets with the hero. This culminates where to prove his conviction, Bashir shoots Garak non-lethally, proving to Garak that Bashir truly means what he says. In that moment, Garak learns that Bashir was listening to him, that in the course of being a spy, you must sometimes do things that are undesirable and unpleasant in pursuit of the ultimate mission. And so Garak, corrected, can only urge Bashir to "lead on," finally identifying him as a true secret agent, instead of a pretender. In the final climax, Bashir takes Garak's lessons to heart, espousing the need to cut his losses. In a complete twist of the holoprogram's script, Bashir sides with Noah and destroys the world, confusing the actors who genuinely don't expect to win. Bashir knows that the world being destroyed isn't real, only the characters on-screen are, and so he stalls out long enough for everything to be redeemed.

But where Bashir learned from Garak, enough to be a "real" spy to derail the program, Garak also learned from Bashir. About how imagination and playfulness sparks creativity and non-lateral thinking. He offers to join Julian Bashir on his next adventure, and the happy ending is achieved. Idealism is maintained, lines drawn, and the characters grow. If it wasn't for an MGM cease-and-desist, there may have been more spy adventures, but alas, this one was the only one we got on screen, with others only in passing.

It's a highly recommended episode, for my part. It's not the deepest, but it is fun and playful, a good comfort food.

Thanks for the question, Anon.

SomethingLikeALawyer, Hand of the King

#ds9 #star trek

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willowswriting · 7 months

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↳ INTRODUCING

LOUIS PIQUET

𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘'𝗦 𝗔 𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗜𝗗𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗠𝗘, 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗖𝗔𝗡 𝗦𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗠𝗘 𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗬𝗠𝗣𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗬

He's still attempting to outrun his fathers ever looming shadow even after the mans death. Afraid to get close to anyone because those he's gotten attached to in the past wind up six feet underground so for now he'll stick to what he knows best, treating those around him as pawns in his little game. He's a firm believer in why speak your feelings when you can just as easily express them with your fists.[21 - 28 (verse dependent), he/him, bisexual, amateur underground fighter/ dealer]

LUCIAN SCOTT

𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗬 𝗦𝗔𝗬 𝗣𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗘 𝗠𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗦 𝗗𝗜𝗔𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗗𝗦, 𝗛𝗢𝗪 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗛𝗘𝗟𝗟 𝗔𝗠 𝗜 𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗟𝗟 𝗖𝗢𝗔𝗟

Mamas boy through and through, although that isn't particularly surprising when you learn his mother is all he had growing up. Recovering alcoholic and temperamental hothead. Military vet suffering from PTSD and insomniac episodes. He can be the nicest guy you know or the largest prick that's entirely on you. [33 - 40 (verse dependent), he/him, heterosexual, handyman / mechanic]

SELESTE ALVAREZ

𝗜𝗙 𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘 𝗗𝗜𝗘𝗦, 𝗪𝗢𝗨𝗟𝗗 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗕𝗘 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗜𝗡𝗚

The thing about trophies is that they eventually get pushed to the back of the shelf where they're eventually forgotten about. Well the same goes for trophy wives. What started as a fiery and passionate endeavor was snuffed out nearly two years after vows were exchanged. Once she had become dependent on her husband he seemed to completely withdraw, leaving her cold and alone. She's unhappy within her marriage but he's made her completely dependent on him, no job, no family or friends. Who could blame her for seeking attention elsewhere? [30 - 40 (verse dependent), she/her, bisexual, housewife]

JOSEPHINE MOORE

𝗜 𝗔𝗠 𝗡𝗢𝗧 𝗔 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗬𝗥, 𝗜'𝗠 𝗔 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗕𝗟𝗘𝗠

Born with a silver spoon in hand but she had always preferred plastic. She had decided that she wanted to make the world a better place. A place where everyone had a fighting shot at success and not one where those on top continued to use those below as stepping stones. She had gotten into journalism specifically for that purpose, reporting on the corrupt. Getting the scoop by whatever means necessary. [25 - 30 (verse dependent), she/her, pansexual, journalist]

#◟ight bet you aint seen nothing yet | ↳ introduction◝#◟ight bet you aint seen nothing yet | ↳ louis piquet / introduction◝#◟ight bet you aint seen nothing yet | ↳ lucian scott / introduction◝#◟ight bet you aint seen nothing yet | ↳ seleste alvarez / introduction◝#◟ight bet you aint seen nothing yet | ↳ josephine moore / introduction◝

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deancasbigbang · 3 years

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Title: Days of Future Passed

Author: Tierra469

Artist: AngelTortured

Rating: Explicit

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Castiel/Jimmy Novak/Dean Winchester (mention)

Length: 38200

Warnings: Major Character Death (temporary)

Tags: Post-Episode s15e18, Season/Series 1, POV Dean Winchester, Post-Canon, Pining, Hurt/Comfort, Heterosexual Sex, Gay Sex, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Angst/teensy bit Fluff/lots more Humor

Posting Date: October 8, 2021

Summary: The story in which the Winchesters’ final showdown with God ends differently. “If you think you could have written it better… then do it all over again without me,” Chuck says, and tosses the boys back through time to their twenty-something bodies and their first case together. Knowing now what they didn’t know then, Sam and Dean resolve to work smarter and not harder and nip the apocalypse in the bud. They start by saving Jessica, then John—but Azazel and Meg are on their tails, God is not on their side, and things just aren’t the same the second time around. Meanwhile, Dean is still grieving the loss of Cas to The Empty—but now he’s got a second chance. Can he befriend the Angel Castiel all over again—without dying and being raised from perdition? Can he give Cas what he truly wanted before—and will the angel still want it? If Dean offers his heart, will Castiel take it, or break it? And how can they find the key to the bunker again, dammit?

Excerpt: Dean staggered, falling to a knee, disoriented and blinking against the bright sunlight. He was still in one piece and outdoors—but somewhere else. Not where he was a moment ago. Finding his equilibrium, he managed to stand up, feeling automatically for any weapons he might have. There was his .45 in the back of his jeans. He took a deep breath and looked around—and there was Sam by the side of the road, getting slowly up off his ass. “Sam? You ok?” “Yeah…” Sam squinted at him, brushing his jeans off. “You?” “Yeah.” Dean gave his head a shake to clear the ringing in his ears… the ringing of Chuck’s voice saying… He did a double take—what had happened to Sam? He looked… it couldn’t be… “Dude, you… what happened to you?” he babbled, gaping. “You’re like eighteen or something! Are you shitting me?!” Sam looked down at himself, then up at Dean wide-eyed, his face growing pale. “Whoa… you too!” Dean looked down at his hands and arms, a cold, uneasy feeling curling into his stomach. “Wow… I wrecked this shirt a long time ago…” Sam loped over to the Impala, parked just behind them—thank God, Dean thought, at least Baby is here, too—and peered at his reflection in the window. Dean walked slowly up, not sure he wanted to see, too. “Not eighteen—more like twenty-two.” Sam stood up straight and turned back to Dean. “Did you hear what Chuck said? He said ‘do it all over again,’ Dean. He said, ‘If you think you could have written it better—could have made it all up as you went along—then do it all over again without me.’ Do it all over again…” Dean felt a tremor run through him. He looked with purpose at their surroundings. Baby was parked on the side of a country road, and just ahead rose an old, iron suspension bridge. Two patrol cars sat at the bridge entrance—the entrance to a crime scene. It all looked vaguely familiar. “So Chuck really did it? He sent us back in time? Back to… to…” “This was our first case together. The Woman in White.” “Are you kidding me?” Dean stared up at his brother, trying hard to comprehend. One moment they’d been standing on a lonely beach in Washington, facing off with God, who was ready to wipe their world—the last one left—off the universal map. It was the last inning, the 11th hour… Jack was loaded and ready, and now…

DCBB 2021 Posting Schedule

#dcbb 2021 #fic preview #2021 promo #deancas #destiel

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gianarosegoestothemovies · 3 years

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New Queer Cinema

Starting from the late 1980s through early 1990s, a “new wave” of queer films became critically acclaimed in the film industry, allowing the freedom of sexuality to be featured in films without the burden of approval from the audience. This raw and honest film genre displays the truth, secrets, and vulnerability of the LGBTQ+ community and the representation that is deserved. The New Queer Cinema movement was started by scholar Ruby Rich who wrote “This movement in film and video was intensely political and aesthetically innovative, made possible by the debut of the camcorder, and driven initially by outrage over the unchecked spread of AIDS. The genre has grown to include an entire generation of queer artists, filmmakers, and activists.” (Rich) This movement started from Rich’s writing piece, not the filmmakers themselves. An article by Sam Moore discusses Rich’s start of the movement. He states, “Rich acknowledges that the films and filmmakers she considers under the umbrella of New Queer Cinema (including Todd Haynes, Cheryl Dunye, Isaac Julien, Gus Van Sant and Gregg Araki), don’t share a single aesthetic vocabulary or strategy or concern.” Instead, they’re unified by the ways that they queer existing narratives, subvert expectations and foreground queerness in material where it had been only implicit” (Moore). The journey through the New Queer Movement started with Ruby Rich defining the movement through her writing and inspiring filmmakers to continue producing movies with the correct representation.

Actress from Gone with the Wind Susan Hayward claimed that Queer cinema existed “decades” before an official title was given to the genre. French filmmaker Jean Cocteau created Le sang d'un poète in 1934 which is documented as one of the earliest Queer films. This avant-garde style of film is associated with Queer cinema filmmakers such as and is displayed in many upcoming films such as Ulrike Ottinger, Chantal Akerman and Pratibha Parmar. The influence of Queer theory that emerged from the late 1980s helped guide the movement with the creators. The theory states "Challenge and push further debates on gender and sexuality.” Another closely related statement by feminist theory states,"Confuse binary essentialisms around gender and sexual identity, expose their limitations.” Queer cinema filmmakers were sometimes known to depict their films in a “mainstream” way that is agreeable to the audience. There was no exposure to the truths and horrors that the LGBTQ+ community experience and had a lack of representation of historical elements or themes. The concept of “straightwashing” was described to filmmaker Derek Jarman’s 1991 historical film Edward II. This film received backlash from the LGBTQ+ community due to the film’s queer representation catering to heterosexuality and heteronormativity.

The truth of the movement was for Queer films to stop romanticizing or bringing positive images of gay men and lesbian woman. The push for authenticity and liberation for the community needed to be represented in films. New Queer films were more radical and sought to challenge social norms of “identity, gender, class, family and society.” (Wikiwand.com).

To quote the amazing drag queen of all time RuPaul “Everyone is born naked, and the rest is drag” the idea of gender identity and representation in the community is unlimited, why do you need to follow the norms of society when anything is possible? The late 90s documentary Paris is Burning introduced the audience to drag culture in New York City and the people of color who were involved in the community. The term “aesthetic” was repetitive in the research of New Queer Cinema which suggests the significance involved with the style of the films. The documentary includes the aesthetic of the drag world involving the makeup, fashion, and politics. AIDS activism was involved heavily in New Queer films and ridiculed the failure of Ronald Reagans acknowledgment of epidemic and the social stigma experienced by the gay community. Conservative politics occurred during this movement resulting in lack of media coverage and government assistance for the LGTBQ+ community. This political struggle did not discourage the community and the fight is still continuing today.

Beginning in the 2010s LGBT filmmakers Rose Troche and Travis Mathews created a “newer trend” in queer filmmaking that evolved toward more universal audience appeal. In an article from Wikiwand.com states,

“Rich, the originator of the phrase New Queer Cinema, has identified the emergence in the late 2000s of LGBT-themed mainstream films such as Brokeback Mountain, Milk, and The Kids Are All Right as a key moment in the evolution of the genre.[20] Both Troche and Mathews singled out Stacie Passon’s 2013 Concussion, a film about marital infidelity in which the central characters' lesbianism is a relatively minor aspect of a story and the primary theme is how a long-term relationship can become troubled and unfulfilling regardless of its gender configuration, as a prominent example of the trend” (Wikiwand).

The film Watermelon Woman was one of the first queer films I watched for a film class, and this film allowed me to dive deeper into the subject I care a lot about which is the representation of queer narratives about woman of color. Queer woman and men deal with the most discrimination. It is unfair and cruel to see the difference of racial treatment in the LGBTQ+ community because the backbone motto is full exclusion and equal rights. The film Watermelon Woman shined light on LGBTQ+ black woman and interrogated the “Mammy” stereotype that most films depict about black actresses. Minority narratives were pushed into the circuit of the movement with developed into the later academy-award winning film Moonlight that displays those representations makes film history!

Films to recognize in the height of the New Queer film movement are

Mala Noche (1986), Gus Van Sant, was an exploration of desire through the eyes of a young white store clerk named Walt and his obsession with a young undocumented immigrant named Johnny. The film is shot in black and white on 16mm film, contains many of the early Van Sant fixations that viewers would later see get refined in My Own Private Idaho, including male hustlers, illegality, and class.

Chinese Characters (1986), Richard Fung, this early film asks still-pressing questions about the nature of gay desire when it’s mediated via pornographic images of white men. The video defies genre, mixing documentary with performance art and archival footage to explore the tensions of being a gay Asian man looking at porn.

Looking for Langston (1989), Isaac Julien, this short film, a tribute to the life and work of Langston Hughes, is a beautiful and vibrant elegy. Julien creates a lineage of queer black ancestors for himself. The film moves like the poetry it recites, playing with the gaze and how various eyes look upon the black male body.

Tongues Untied (1989), Marlon Riggs, guided by the writer Joseph Beam’s statement, “Black men loving black men is the revolutionary act,” Riggs goes through his own complicated journey of homophobia from other black people, and then racism in the gay community, to find a community of queer black people.

Poison (1991), Todd Haynes, the three parts of the film tell a story about ostracism, violence, and marginality: the bullied child who allegedly flies away after shooting his father in order to save his mother (“Hero”), a brilliant scientist who accidentally ingests his own serum to become the “leper sex killer” (“Horror”), and a sexual relationship between two men in a prison (“Homo”). Exploits radical work that Haynes later uses in his other films.

The Living End (1992), Gregg Araki, the film follows Luke, a sexy homicidal drifter who has a distaste for T-shirts, and Jon, an uptight film critic in Los Angeles. Both are HIV-positive, and as their relationship unfolds, they fight about being respectful or lustrous.

Swoon (1992), Tom Kalin, a black and white film that romanticizes wealthy Chicago lovers kill a 14-year-old boy named Bobby Franks because they want to see if they are smart enough to do it. The murder is more a play of power between them, with Loeb weaponizing sex as a way to control Leopold.

Rock Hudson’s Home Movies (1992), Mark Rappaport, Rock Hudson’s Home Movies is a documentary made up of glances and innuendos from Rock Hudson’s persona, displaying how this dashing, leading man of the Hollywood Golden Age was a closeted gay man.

MURDER and Murder (1996), Yvonne Rainer, is known for her experimental filmmaking and choreography, this film represents a late-in-life lesbian named Doris who suffers from neuroses and breast cancer. Her partner, Mildred, a queer academic, tells the story of their romance as older women. Rainer also makes appearances throughout the film in a tux, going on rants about smug homophobic parents while showing her bare chest with a mastectomy scar.

1992 was the year of the highest amount of New Queer films being produced and exceeding box office expectations. Upcoming 2000s films such as “Booksmart”, “Call me by your Name”, “The Prom”, and “Rocketman” all represent the truths and authenticity of the LGBTQ+ community and creates pathways for more films to include these cinematic themes. The movement continues to grow and succeed in the film industry with new creators and actors being more honest about the LGBTQ+ community.

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lgvalenzuela · 4 years

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Angelique Campbell

Thanks to @hogwartsmystory for making such a cool template

This will be expanded upon, and some things that are left vague will be explained.

(Tw: there’s some violent acts and murder described)

Identity

Name: Angelique Campbell, also goes for Eirian (just by Artemis)

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Birth Date: October 23

Species: Human

Blood Status: Pureblood

Sexuality: Heterosexual

Ethnicity: Caucasian (welsh)

Nationality: Welsh

Residence: Merthyr Tydfil, Wales

Alignment: Chaotic neutral

Myer Briggs Personality Type: INTP-T (The logician)

Ennegram: Type 1 (The reformer)

The Mage

Wand: She doesn’t have or need a wand, but she does use her cane for dramatic flare

Boggart Form: The demon that’s been following her for centuries

Riddikulus Form: She hasn’t been able to find one yet

Amortentia:

She smells like petricor, nature and rosemary perfume

She smells Scotch malt whiskey, wild mint, heather, fresh sea air and summer rain

Patronus: Y Ddraig Goch

Patronus Memory: Meeting Artemis

Mirror of Erised: Her in her old age, having lived a life that’s been stolen from her time and time again

Specialized/Favourite Spells: The one’s Merlin left her and the one’s she made, specially healing ones

Misc Magical Abilities: When she worked under Merlin, they started writing a grimoire together, which has found her in every life. She’s been working on it for centuries and has really powerful magic contained in its pages

Appearance

Faceclaim:

Voiceclaim

Game Appearance: Who knows?

Height: 170cm (5’7’’)

Weight: 55 kg (121 lbs)

Physique: She’s thin and weak

Eye Colour: Aurora borealis green

Hair Colour: Ginger

Skin Tone: Pretty pale, but healthy looking

Scarring: Lost her leg under the demon’s attack and has a prosthetic ever since, missed a couple of years for going through rehabilitation. She also has a white streak of her she hides for going thought this trauma.

Inventory: She carries her grimorie and the Ouroboros brooch

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Slytherin

Ilvermorny House: Pukwudgie

Affiliations/Organizations:

Wales

Pendragon family

Crowe family

Professions:

Healer

Teacher

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies: Don’t get fooled by her good grades, she went to Hogwarts having just experience her own magic for so long she entered having no idea what kind of things they teach there, only earning such good academic record on behalf of maintaining a certain reputation, not for her family but for her own pride.

Astronomy: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Charms: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

DADA: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Flying: ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ (T)

Herbology: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

History of Magic: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

Potions: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

Transfiguration: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Electives:

Ancient Studies: ★★★★★★★★★★ (O)

Muggle studies: ★★★★★★☆☆☆☆ (A)

Relationships

Family

The Campbells

Arianell and Cadogan Campbell

No matter they’re wizards, Angelique’s parents are truly product of their times, they see their daughters only as products they must sell, especially Angelique as their ‘pride and joy’ an extremely beautiful, intelligent and powerful witch? They want to get her married as soon as possible, to someone just as wealthy and powerful as the Campbells, and of course, a pureblood.

And they certainly didn’t take well how open minded and pro muggle Angelique was, in the eyes of society they were the perfects parents to her, in private she was the subject of much scorn and ridicule.

Brynna Campbell

If Angelique was the pride and joy of her parents, Brynn was for Angelique, in all her lives she never had a sibling and welcomed her with open arms, no matter if her parents wanted to keep them apart since Brynna was a squib, Angelique would never stop loving her.

But how did Brynna feel?

Love Interest: Artemis Crowe @brothergrimm71

She was urged by her parents to get married as soon as possible, but for a while has refused to fall in love until her curse is broken. Or at least she didn’t want to until she met Artemis, but still refuses to admit the obvious, with fear that if she dies again, she would break his heart.

Best Friends:

Lorilyn Kumari

Akane Fukui

Artemis Crowe

Backround/History

Previous lives

Eirian Emrys

Late 5th century - early 6th century

She was born in the midst of war between the Celtic Britons and the Anglo-Saxons, of her true parents we know not, but she was found by Merlin during The Battle of Badon, as a child, fighting. And was taking to Arthur, who was horrified that a child was fighting his wars and promised she never had to fight again, she was taking in by Merlin and became his assitant and apprentice (even though she did not possess any magical talent at this point)

And in this life she never fought again, she lived a completely normal life, she got married and had a kid, and everything was perfect until an Anglo-Saxon noble saw her, and decided she was for him. He found her alone and threatened to burn her village to the ground, to destroy everything she loved if she didn’t go with him.

And she did, gaining the reputation of an easy woman and a whore from the ones that were once her family and her friends.

But of course she did not love this man, and even if she married him and never said a thing, he came one day to their room, and impaled both of them with a sword.

Gael Bach

971-990

She woke up as another child, she received a brooch, with the form of an ouroboros, and even in the loudest night she could hear something creeping in.

But she also received the grimoire her and Merlin wrote together, and decided to expand it, since she had magical powers this life, found more druids that could teach her.

She tried to live a normal life, she fell in love again. Hogwarts was being built at this point, and children from Ireland and Wales were being dragged to this noticeably British school, she tried to do something, but a demon killed before that could happen.

Mair Carew

1261-1283

She woke up again, as different child. She received the ouroboros, and the grimoire, and heard the creeping sounds, realized she was cursed, and followed by a demon.

But she didn’t have much time to think about it since she lived midst of war again (and only took time to study magic with local wizards to keep working on the grimoire) battling for Wales, which they lost this time, and the last thing she saw before the demon got to her was her country being conquered.

She asked to be chained to a rock with a sword, to fight even in death.

Nonn Gower

1332-1353

Already centered on breaking her curse, worked on her spells until The Black Death came and she couldn’t turn a blind eye, made the most healing spells during this time, but quickly found out her demon could also turn people against her, and even was burned as a witch even when all the people that she saved protested.

Penrose Moore

1500-1521

Ever the beautiful young lady, was noticed by Henry the VIII, who tried to make her his lover, even if married to Catherin of Aragon at the time, but she did not yield to the British, and pronounced the words that led to her perdition: I only kneel in front the ones who fought for Wales. And the demon compelled them to kill her.

Henry the VIII passed the acts that tried to kill the welsh language.

Pre Hogwarts

And we come to Angelique, the only one born under pure magical blood, and the only one who has survived an attack from her demon, just losing a leg in return.

She didn’t want to go to Hogwarts at first, but figured she wouldn’t lose anything trying and at least would learn a thing or two, just missed a couple of years doing rehabilitation from the trauma of her leg being ripped off of her.

Personality

Open-Minded: She’s fairly liberal for a Victorian lady, with a “none of my bussiness” sort of attitude when people go outside of social norms or traditions, especially if they’re not hurting anyone.

Compassionate: She didn’t expend all this centuries becoming a highly powerful healer for nothing, she saw too many people die in the wars, and she saw a lot of people die under the plages, and she couldn’t just stay there, the love for her people has made her last so long and she’s not giving up on them.

Passionate and loyal to her values, but tired: Highly conscientious and ethical, with a strong sense of right and wrong, ever the teacher, the crusader and the advocate for change, for making things better. Only wavering on the basis of being tired of getting brutally murdered time and time again, feeling the clock ticking while her doom approaches. But even at her worse, at the end she can’t help her desire to be good, her integrity is too strong.

Secretive and reclusive – While yielding many insights into her surroundings, her surroundings are ironically considered an intrusion on her thoughts. This is especially true with people, she’s quite shy in social settings, and scared if she makes strong bonds again they will miss her soon. Even close friends struggle to get into Logicians’ hearts and minds.

Short tempered and grumpy: Maybe it’s the way she feels her time running out, but it has made her quite impatient and insensitive if she thinks someone´s wasting her valuable time, she has stuff to worry about so don’t bother her with stupid problems, even though begrudgingly she will help you.

Prideful: She’s an extremely powerful witch and she knows it, there’s very few people that can stand in her way, and she won’t let them.

#hogwarts legacy #angelique campbell #mine doodles #artbreeder #Mine writing #character profile

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wearevillaneve · 4 years

Text

Luke Jennings Spills the Tea on how “Codename: Villanelle” became “Killing Eve.”

(photo: Nick Fallowfield-Cooper )

Last week, Luke Jennings, the journalist and writer whose Codename: Villanelle Kindle novella’s spawned the BBCAmerica television hit, Killing Eve, joined a Zoom chat with the Killing Eve Facebook Group to field questions about his creation and colorful characters. Near the end (fast forward to the 1:13 mark) of the chat, Jennings was asked by one of the moderators, how Codename: Villanelle morphed into the radically different name of Killing Eve. “What happened for ages, Phoebe and I and the producers just talked about Villanelle. That was what we called the project.”

“When BBCAmerica commissioned it they said two things: ‘Eve has to be an American in the TV series. The Brits can have the psychopath. She can be a British actress, but we have to have an American actress as Eve because ‘Eve is good. Eve must be an American.’

The second thing they said is ‘Eve’s name must be in the title. It must be something with “Eve.”

None of us had considered that. Phoebe and I had two days to come up with a title and we literally went though every single kind of combination of things that you could do with the name Eve.

Eventually, on the second morning I just wrote down the words, ‘Killing Eve’ and I sent it to Phoebe.

I said, “I have no idea what this means, but what do you think?”

She said, “Yeah, I don’t know what it means either, but it’s right.”

“That’s how it came about. What “Killing Eve” actually means people have all kinds of theories, but Phoebe and I just thought it sounded right.” And there you have it from the man himself. The fandom can and has debated, analyzed, theorized and waxes poetic on what the “Killing” in Killing Eve actually means. Is it the metamorphosis of the nice, normal and boringly heterosexual Eve Polastri, into the not-so-nice, abnormal, slightly murderous and not as straight as she thought she was Eve Polastri, who emerges with the hots for a blonde assassin with delicate features and developing a kink for knives and crushing the ribs of old women?

Or is Killing Eve simply the best idea Jennings could come up over 48 hrs and it sounded catchy when you say it out loud?

There are laboriously elaborate master plans that spool out over time and succeed beyond the designer’s wildest dreams. Then, there’s those happy accidents when your back is against the wall and you just have to pull something out of your ass and hope its presentable. This is a case of the latter, not the former. Jennings is incredibly lucky to be one of the select few writers who not only get a work of fiction brought to life by talented people like Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Sandra Oh, Jodie Comer, Fiona Shaw, Kim Bodina and too many other writers, directors, technicians, and actors to mention as well as producer Sally Woodward-Gentle and former AMC president, Sarah Barnett. He had the inspiration, but it’s a collaboration that brought it to creation. More than a few authors have been public with their displeasure with how their works turned out in the jump from the written word to the lens of the camera, but unlike Stephen King, Alan Moore, John Grisham or Anne Rice, Jennings isn’t going to raise hell over the drastic changes made to Codename: Villanelle. It’s a clunky, cliched title, and BBCAmerica chose to make the protagonist the agent instead of the assassin. We can argue if that was really the right way to go, but from the results, the show itself doesn’t seem to have suffered from the asinine assertion by some suits that because Eve is the “good” one, it is mandated her name goes in the title, because she’s the “hero.”

Eve is nobody’s hero.

But does it really matter? Jennings created something more than a variation on the old spy game trope. He created the basis for a global sensation that has inspired art, prose, video and a worldwide fandom that didn’t even exist four years ago. He revived the careers of Oh and Shaw and set Comer on a path to superstardom. As accomplishments go, that’s not too shabby.

Killing Eve has eclipsed the success of its source material, but if not for the active imagination of one British dance critic, you wouldn’t be reading this because I never would have written it.

“You’re never going to love everything you see, but it takes 200 people to make a TV series and one person to write a novel, so it’s a very different kind of animal.” Jennings said in an interview with The National News.

“There comes a point when you simply have to let go and let the TV series become what it’s going to become.”

#Killing Eve #Luke Jennings #bbc america #bbc killing eve #Phoebe Waller-Bridge #codename villanelle #name of the game #ke analysis

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coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe · 3 years

Text

P.G's Full Bio (1984)

"I'm living proof that money CAN buy happiness."

Name: Penelope Nicolette Voronin

Aliases: Greed, Penelope Lucifarian

Nicknames: Princess, P.G

Age: 30 (Born: March 18th 1954)

Race: Human, Russian

Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns

Sexuality: Heterosexual / Straight

Height: 5'5" / 165 cm

Weight: 145 lbs / 10 stone / 65 kg

Eye Colour: Brown

Hair Colour: Brown

Clothing Style: Casual - Fancy but simple

Religion: N/A

Personality Traits: Greedy, Vain, Cowardly, Self-confident, Charming, Loyal

Strengths: Knows how to keep herself out of harm's way. Can keep a close group of friends together. can sort out differences between people quite easily.

Weaknesses: Very hard to plan simple matches for. Even harder to get to participate in tougher, more challenging matches. Cares more for money than people deep down.

Likes: money, sunrises, cruises, yellow, Blini (Russian pancakes), Unity Day, New Year's Eve, Poison Dart frogs, limos, sunflowers, champagne, dresses, winter coats, poetry, Moor frogs

Dislikes: government, black ice, museums, neon colours, beer, Christmas, 4th July, bears, sunsets, orchids, hail, short skirts, ripped clothing, caves, giant squids

Family: Inna Voronin (Mother), Lev Voronin (Father)

Friends: Vickie, Billie, Kirby, Holly, Eli, Sam

Enemies: Moolah, Wendi Richter, Lord Alfred Hayes, Mr Fuji, Sgt Slaughter, Hulk Hogan

Role: the group's wallet / heart of the group

Backstory/Past: P.G grew up longing for a life of extravagant spending. P.G being her father's 'little princess' was put first when it came to spending any extra money the family got, P.G wanted to learn ballet, she would get lessons, P.G wanted to learn archery, she got lessons, and so on. P.G eventually wanted to learn how to wrestle, and she didn't need to go far to find lessons, her father used to fight bears when he was a teenager for people's entertainment.

Meeting both Vickie and Billie in the same British promotion, the three became fast friends. P.G was often broke after paying for lavish items, champagne, limos, designer clothing. P.G was the perfect candidate for Greed being so money-hungry (with good reason) but never truly knowing how to limit her spending. She has been with the 'Daughters of Darkness' since the beginning.

Voice: Irina Kireeva

Style of Wrestling: Showman

Regular Moves: Diving crossbody, spinning heel kick, springboard dropkick, springboard plancha, onehanded bulldog, missile dropkick, Gold-digger (Inverted spinning elbow strike), Diamond Ring (running enzuigiri), pin by standing on her opponent

Finishers: Money Maker (full nelson facebuster), Inheritance (running double-knee facebreaker)

Commentary Nickname: The Princess (usually), third of the seven (rare occasions - whole group scenes)

Refers to Her Fans as: The Possessive, The Greedy, The Greedy ones

#Lucifarians #Wrestling Family #wrestling fic #original character

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itsclownhours · 4 years

Conversation

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

morgause: customer (derogatory)

arthur: business major (derogatory)

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

morgana: i have no self of steam

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

gwaine: turn down for whom?

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

#puff does things #long post

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slingsendarrows · 4 years

Text

To His Coy Master

“I have often reflected on upon the new vistas that reading opened to me. I knew right there in prison that reading had changed the course of my life. As I see it today, the ability to read awoke inside me some long dormant craving to be mentally alive…My homemade education gave me, with every additional book I read, a little bit more sensitivity to the deafness, dumbness, and blindness that was afflicting the black race in America.” — Malcolm X “The Autobiography of Malcolm X”

Photo by Will Small

It never ceases to amaze the length, and breadth white people will go to willfully deny history in as much as it tells them the truth about themselves. I don’t blame them. It is a bitter pill to swallow owning up as a member of a people that has wreaked such havoc and extended so much unmitigated violence. Your domination in pursuit of betterment for your people and racial superiority was at the unquantifiable expense of others.

Now, before we get bogged down in the mire of wilfully confusing terms, let me resentfully explain what I mean by the words I am using. I say resentfully because expounding upon the injustices heaped upon my people requires I justify my position and take care not to offend the sensibilities of those I am addressing. It is dormant trauma indicative of the master/slave dichotomy I still have yet to shed. For it is only the oppressor that necessitates the oppressed exercise restraint and caution in stating and expressing his grievances, however vile and repulsive, adjusting for nuances and individual circumstances as if his subjugation wasn’t abrupt, violent, and complete. What is the virtue of incremental progress if the oppressor committed the original sin with absolute expediency? But, I digress.

“White people” or “white men,” refers to the collective white man, woman, and child as befits the ideologies of white supremacy, meaning those originating from Europe and the inheritors of their ancestors’ misdeeds. I will not deign to account for individual acts or attitudes of “good” white people because it is irrelevant. It is a tactic the oppressor uses to detract from the larger truth about himself.

Also, in speaking collectively, I will use the masculine pronouns, reflexive and otherwise, in an umbrella fashion similar to holy writ, signifying patriarchy as the apex of privilege and tyranny. Occasionally, I may address collective “white people” as women and men, specifically. “Master” is not restricted to those who owned slaves in actuality but those who propagated ideas of white superiority and black subjection.

Finally, and for what I hope will be the last time, privilege is a Russian doll ladder in that some have more than others in the broader context of the hierarchical structure as well as within each rung. Privilege is the exemption from specific experiences due to the inherent characteristics of race, ability, sexuality, gender identity, sex, socioeconomic status, etc. I have privilege within my rung as educated, able-bodied, cis-gender, and heterosexual. I shall leave it there.

I know you are, but what am I?

There are things you can’t unsee. I can neither unsee injustice nor abide civility for civility’s sake. Living as a black woman person is a burden, but one I am learning to carry with pride. You live in the depths of a valley with a clear perspective of the surrounding landscape. I look about me these days, and I yearn to be free. Natural freedom, not granted, but inborn and awakened through the conscious effort. Freedom rising from truth and understanding, painful though it may be. But master, I must tell you the truth about yourself, for I see now, as Malcolm X stated, you love yourself so much you’re often surprised to discover we do not share your “vainglorious self-opinion.”

Bettmann Archives/Getty Images

The cyclical nature of oppression angers me: outcries and marches, cosmetic salves for change, and disingenuous support that lasts just long enough for us to return to business, as usual. I don’t want to mince words anymore. It no longer serves to be palatable. You must swallow whole my incredulous raging despair and dubious hope for change. You will taste every unpleasant bite as I tell you the unflavored truth about yourself. I will not be distracted by dog-whistle racist dismissals of reverse-racism and black supremacy. Pipe down! You know I do not have the power to alter a fraction of your daily existence fundamentally.

For all your talk of progress, history shows very little of significance and import has materially changed. Individual achievement is pointless if institutionalized racism persists, unimpeded since the advent of colonial conquest when you left your lands to “discover” ours. It matters little that some of us make it if most of us continue to suffer the same injustices bereft of reprieve through education, wealth, and status. In short, your surface efforts at woke-ness and allyship are of little use if, in your white homes and white spaces, you propagate or remain silent in the face of racist sentiments and ideologies.

I reason real change calls for radical action. The how eludes me. Real change requires rooting out the problem in its entirety, a problem so deeply ingrained and pervasive it infects every facet of our daily existence. It is institutionalized. But our subjugation was so final we forgot our names. We have been in the wilderness far too long, thirsting for understanding and starving for identity. You hope we never figure out our freedom was never a matter for your consent.

In the midst of my hungering, I have awakened to two fundamental realizations: 1) we are and have only ever been as free as you have allowed us to be, 2) truth comes through knowledge of self, and knowledge of self comes through self-education.

It’s been a long, long time coming, but I know change is gonna come.

During moments of considerable racial unrest, you remind us to be grateful for the crumbs that fall from your feasting tables and make it into our mouths. With each protesting hamster-wheel cycle for change, you erroneously juxtapose our grievances against your apparent signs of progress, as if the two are analogous. You caution against violent reactions when your institutions murder us, and you selectively misquote our advocates out of context to suit your purposes and invalidate our rage. The conversation inevitably becomes about how we are not decent people, and our behavior courted death; therefore, we deserve to die. There is no need to mourn, much less to protest. Still, during our tear-gassed and rubber-bulleted peaceful protestations, you implore us, once again, to be patient. Someday we’ll all be free. Incrementalism over expediency!

Photo by Charles Moore

You ask us to remember Abraham Lincoln and his hundreds of thousands of Union soldiers. Do we not recall the numerous, albeit contradictory, supreme court decisions that have brought us thus far? Lyndon B. Johnson and his predecessors awarded us civil rights, benefitting the electorate with the sacrifice of black bodies. The matter of reparations is a non-starter — sins of the father, and all that; it’s in the past. See our constitutional amendments, white abolitionists, James Meredith, northern white liberalism, and lest we forget, the progressive black achievement permitted in your industries and society.

But the fact that we’re still witnessing black firsts 400 years later is not a sign of progress; it is the opposite.

Our schools teach the efforts and white generosity of Abraham Lincoln liberated black people in America. However, a cursory glance at your records will show this is factually incorrect. I am tired of being reminded to pay homage to the “Great Emancipator,” whom we remember, in large part, due to this astounding act of condescending deference. Master Lincoln is an excellent example of your self-conceit that our freedom is yours to grant or deny. And to add insult to injury, you congratulate yourselves for it. The overarching white supremacist belief you can deign to give us freedom is a glaring reminder we are only as free as you enable us to be. Your love for this lie is so profound; you pull it out each time issues of race arise. But Lincoln, a white man, freed you! He might have been black too.

So let’s set the record straight.

Lincoln did not free slaves out of moral imperative but political expediency. A cursory study of his papers and thinking at the time show he was willing to maintain slavery if it meant keeping the Union intact because “a house divided against itself cannot stand.”

Before the Missouri Compromise of 1820, a carefully maintained 1:1 ratio determined the slavery status of newly admitted states. This balancing act was codified when Maine and Missouri sought admittance; the former was free, and the latter legally permit slavery. The law also prohibited slavery north of the Mason-Dixon line.

At the onset of the Civil War, Missouri demographically split between confederate and union allies. In 1861, witnessing Missouri’s descent into chaos, Union Major Generals Fremont and Hunter issued emancipation proclamations calling for the execution of those found guilty of taking up arms against Union and the confiscation of their property, including freeing their slaves. Shortly after that, Lincoln fired the generals and annulled the proclamation. He issued a Second Confiscation Act in July 1862, allowing for the confiscation of slaves owned by the rebels, freeing them at the discretion of the court.

District of Columbia. Company E, 4th U.S. Colored Infantry, at Fort Lincoln

Slaves were commodities of considerable economic value. Slaves were mortgaged collateral and settled debts. Losing slaves would result in a substantial financial loss for southern masters. The Union knew that, so they exploited it. Freeing slaves robed the Confederacy of its free and disposable labor, eliminating the possibility of slaves fighting against the Union army at the behest of their rebel masters. Lincoln did not issue the Proclamation of 1863 because he thought black people were inherently equal and deserving of justice under the law. Asked about his decision-making process, he stated, “…if I could save the Union without freeing any slave, I would do it, and if I could save it by freeing all the slaves, I would do it; and if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone, I would also do that…” The Civil War did not end slavery in acknowledgment of black equality. Slave emancipation crippled the Confederate economies and, in so doing, weakened the southern rebellion. Emancipation was a means to an end.

Lincoln could not conceive of a nation with black people as equal if not, primary stakeholders. Nevermind their backs built the wealth of the country. Now that the problematic part of nation-building over, he could simply return them from whence they came and be done with it. He thought it better to return black Americans to Africa and failing that, create a whole separate nation unto themselves.

Reportedly the only known photo of a black American Union soldier and his family. (Library of Congress)

In 1854, before the Civil War, Lincoln stated, at a speech in Illinois, his “…first impulse would be to free all the slaves, and send them back to Liberia.” It was the only foreseeable solution to the race issue. He considered the coal-mining prospects of the Chiriqui region in modern-day Panama an option for deportation and resettlement. Still, the idea met fierce abolitionist opposition when he tested it on a sample slave population in Delaware. He supported a congressional bill that would “…aid in the colonization and settlement of such free persons of African descent […] as may desire to emigrate to the Republic of Haiti or Liberia or such other country beyond the limits of the United States as the President may determine.” After signing the Second Confiscation Act, in August 1862, Lincoln invited a delegation of five prominent black men to the White House to clarify that white and black people cannot coexist; therefore, separation was the most direct path to peace. He wanted their support for a mass black exodus.

Liberia presented a logistical nightmare. The Chiquiri coal was worthless, and the land in dispute with Costa Rica. Approximately 450 black people moved to an island off the coast of Haiti, of which almost 25% died of poor nutrition and illness before the remainder returned to the U.S. Defeated, Lincoln, considered deporting “the whole colored race of the slave states into Texas.” Days before his death, he stressed, “I can hardly believe that the South and North can live peace unless we can get rid of the negroes…I believe it would be better [for the whites] to export them to some fertile country…”

Getty/Library of Congress

In conclusion, asking me to celebrate a white master for granting me what is rightfully mine is ludicrous — honoring him for a decision that only benefitted me as a secondary consequence of his primary purpose is the height of white arrogance. It merely cements you don’t believe freedom is ours by right; it is yours to give in the manner befitting your white sensibility stretched out over the expanse of time. Time to legitimize the numbing effect of revisionist history and position us in gratitude toward master’s acquiesce and tolerance, however slow. Master is doing his best. After all, his wife, at a time, condescended to teach Frederick Douglass to read and write.

And yet, here we remain, yearning for crumbs off of master’s table. Asking, begging, pleading, for what is ours.

The real nightmare scenario for white supremacy is an actualized black mind, educated and conscious of its pervasive and pernicious effects. Global black unity jellies the white man’s spine in fear of retribution for his crimes. It is why you champion incremental progress and hail peaceful protest as the height of moral discourse. You only understand violence for violence is what it took to achieve your dominance. You cannot conceive of any other possible outcome, and you cannot revise history with enough “good” white people committing “good” white acts to cover the rancid stench. You know it stinks, and since you cannot find a solution outside your oppressive playbook, you must deny, obfuscate, distract, appease and roll the ball down the road of historical replay.

To that, I now turn a deaf ear. We must educate ourselves about our people and history if we are to be truly free. We cannot depend upon you to what is right. You have made it abundantly clear.

#black lives matter #malcolm x #carter godwin woodson #abraham lincoln #deportation #black unity #miseducation of the negro #revisionist history #white supremacy #white people

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fuckyeahjamieandclaire · 5 years

Link

There are great reasons to watch Starz’s period romance drama “Outlander,” starting with the sex and sometimes ending with the sex. But for now, I’d like to praise what happens between the show’s main characters when they are clothed.

Okay, that’s only a small lie. Even the most serious-minded “Outlander” fan is at least partly tuned in/turned on every Sunday night in hopes of seeing more of the enthusiastic lovemaking (glowingly demonstrated by stars Caitriona Balfe and Sam Heughan) that propels this epic. It’s difficult to think of another cable series that wields its adult content — and the chemistry between its co-stars — so maturely.

Anyway, this is meant to be a piece about how “Outlander,” now in the middle of a satisfyingly strong fourth season, is the only show around in which a man and a woman — an 18th-century Scottish Highlander named Jamie Fraser (Heughan) and his time-traveling wife, a 20th-century English doctor named Claire Randall Fraser (Balfe, who just got a Golden Globe nomination for her work on the show) — have found a way to truly communicate. What more could we need from a TV series in 2018 than to see two adults persist against all odds by listening to one another?

For the record, other discerning viewers find plenty to dislike about “Outlander,” particularly around its handling of sexual violence — or the constant, close-call threats of it. For such a dumb-looking show, “Outlander” manages to start a lot of conversations and arguments.

Yet the show’s heart, I’ve found, is almost always in the right place. Despite a rocky and even abusive start to their relationship, Jamie and Claire found the kind of love that benefits from talking, from sharing information as well as their deepest feelings. It’s the one show where two people will actually stop in the middle of the action to check in, emotionally, and bring one another up to speed.

Not that they get a lot of time for that. Each week Claire and Jamie endure every possible calamity that can befall a white, heterosexual, married couple in the 1770s — at least one life-threatening crisis per episode. Together and separately they have so far survived the culture-shock of time travel along with war, torture, imprisonment, attempted sexual assaults, a rape (in a provocative twist, Jamie was the rape victim, not Claire), parenthood, separation, ocean crossings, palace intrigue, disease, grave injury, pirates, bandits, robbers, smugglers, witches, a hurricane and a shipwreck.

In Season 4, Jamie and Claire establish a small settlement in the mountains of North Carolina, just before the American Revolution. In addition to dealing once more with sneering redcoats and the stirrings of anti-British rebellion, there are other, uniquely American problems to face: angry mobs of aggrieved slave-owners out for a lynching; tentative relations with the Cherokee tribe across the creek; and a neighboring houseful of Lutherans with a deadly case of the measles. The list goes on — sometimes laughably so.

“Outlander’s” best moments are found in those smaller, more insular moments in which Jamie and Claire see the world through one another’s perspectives. TV is full of couples who misconstrue, raise volumes, ignore key issues, assign blame, gossip to outside confidants about spousal shortcomings, disappoint in the bedroom and storm out of the house a lot. The technical term for that is conflict and most writers of relationship stories would be lost without it.

Which is why, the more you watch “Outlander,” the more you see just how intentionally it veers from prestige TV’s frustrating parade of toxic, temperamental couplings — everything from “You’re the Worst” to “The Affair” to “Camping.” Jamie and Claire deal with all sorts of external melodramatic dangers, but together they might as well be gorgeous unicorns. They don’t bicker. They don’t interrupt one another. He doesn’t ramble on about battlefield heroics; she doesn’t start in with monologues about electricity and indoor plumbing.

Their presence within a shared present asks the viewer: When was the last time anyone really heard what you were saying?

"Outlander" is faithfully based on Diana Gabaldon's best-selling novels, an appealingly cerebral commingling of the romance, fantasy and historical fiction genres, with just a touch of sci-fi thrown in and a refreshingly modern take on relationships that rejects the usual Mars/Venus dynamic. r

It’s not surprising that women make up most of the show’s fan base (even though the occasional “Outmander” finds his way in, and the series was developed by a male showrunner, Ronald D. Moore). I’ve seen groups of “Outlander” fans waiting outside news conferences for the show in Los Angeles, sitting quietly but excitedly in the lobby, hoping to catch a glimpse of the cast members or Gabaldon herself. It’s almost as if they are on security detail, making sure nobody mucks up their treasured characters and stories, which is perfectly understandable. Such devotion helped “Outlander” sustain relatively high ratings among cable dramas, with about 1.5 million viewers watching new episodes within the week.

Even with all its twists and turns and screen-steaming love scenes, “Outlander” continues to feel like a worthwhile progression. Jamie’s rebellious streak may tempt him to commit occasional (necessary) crimes, but his devotion to Claire has helped him evolve into a thoughtful gentleman of the Enlightenment.

And Claire is wise about what she tells Jamie about the future. As they take in a jaw-dropping western vista from a Carolina mountaintop, she speaks generally of just how far this new country will push forward — and the immigrant dreamers who will populate it. She helps him see the injustice of the slave trade that thrives all around them. She conveys the long (and correct) view of Native American rights. She asserts her own rights as a spouse and a professional; Jamie is quick to introduce his wife to strangers as an accomplished “healer.”

It’s easy to locate a feminist theme here, as many viewers already have: Jamie is a changed man because he met a smart, open-minded woman from the future who has challenged everything he once knew.

How could he not be improved by the experience — this giant, scarred slab of man-candy in a kilt, who once believed he owned Claire simply because he married her? And how can we not see the show as a lesson in brute reform?

Aye, but here’s the real beauty of “Outlander”: The exchange is mutual. She’s as much changed by him as he is by her. His masculinity is as instructive as her femininity. His wisdom complements hers. Even when their candlelit sex scenes are the main draw, the body parts that are most impressive are their ears.

Ask anyone who has traveled enough time with a significant other: Being heard as an equal partner is just as great — and sometimes better — than another roll in the hay.

#outlander #outlander starz #jamie x claire #the frasers #review #tv: s1 #tv series #otp: jamie x claire #tv news #queue

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ao3feed-destiel · 4 years

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Sorry sam(I love your boyfriend)

Read it on AO3 here!https://ift.tt/2MfQAPp

by Appleinapie

Sam Winchester and castiel novak are dating. Everyone knows that. Dean does too. Yet he falls in love with his little brothers boyfriend. He cant help but hate himself for wanting someone who can never be his. He plans to suffer in silence and bless the happy couple. That is until he sees sam locking lips with some blonde chick outside a diner. He's angry but sort of relieved, he's sad but kind of elated. When he confronts sam, he begs him to not tell castiel. Dean is nothing if not a good brother. He decides to finally give up on his love and wish his brother happiness. What he doesnt know is that sam winchester and castiel are fake dating to protect castiel from his family's abuse and harassment. And that one blue eyed boy is very much in love with him. Will cas ever get the courage to confess to dean? Will dean ever dare to ask for what he wants. And who in the world is this girl with sam?

Words: 1465, Chapters: 2/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Supernatural

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural), John Winchester, Mary Winchester, Zachariah (Supernatural), Naomi (Supernatural), Michael (Supernatural), Raphael (Supernatural), Gabriel (Supernatural), Ruby (Supernatural), Kevin Tran, Charlie Bradbury, Benny Lafitte, Lisa Braeden, Bela Talbot, Gordon Walker, Victor Henriksen, Ash (Supernatural), Pamela Barnes (Supernatural), Bobby Singer

Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester, John Winchester/Mary Winchester, Jessica Moore/Sam Winchester, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester, Pamela Barnes/Dean Winchester

Additional Tags: Past Relationship(s), Fake/Pretend Relationship, Pining Dean Winchester, Oblivious Castiel (Supernatural), Oblivious Dean Winchester, Cheating, Not Cheating, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Misunderstandings, Angst, Dean Winchester is Protective of Castiel, Dean Winchester is Not Heterosexual, Jealous Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Angst, Castiel Angst (Supernatural), Slow Burn, Dean Winchester Being an Idiot, Sam Winchester is So Done, Good Parent Mary Winchester, Good Parent John Winchester, Michael Being an Asshole (Supernatural), Raphael Being an Asshole (Supernatural), Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Sam Winchester, Rating May Change, My First Fanfic, Castiel & Sam Winchester Friendship, Shy Castiel (Supernatural), Nerd Sam Winchester, Nerd Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester is a Good Bro

Link: https://ift.tt/2MfQAPp

#ao3feed #ao3feed destiel #destiel

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streetsofsecrets-a · 5 years

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▌real name: Dominique Moore ▌single or taken: Her boyfriend is currently in jail and they haven’t officially separated but um - she identifies as single. ▌abilities or powers: Back In The OLD DAYS (meaning Bioshock) she spliced with Telekinesis, Target Dummy (she could create a translucent figure of herself) Minnie’s powers reflected the fact I deemed her a stealth character who could use running and hiding to her advantage. ▌eye colour: Brown. ▌hair colour: Black. ▌family members: Kadijah Adeyemi and Terrell Williams are her biological parents, she has never met them. Her adoptive parents are Robert & Clara Moore, her adoptive sister is Caitlin Moore. ▌pets: She doesn’t have one, but she would love to purchase a beagle! (In some cases, she has a beagle named “Sweetie.”) ▌something they don’t like: Fakeness stands out. Minnie possesses a high intolerance towards people who behave kind, but then do something deceitful. But more than that to her, ‘fakeness’ can also been seen in people who behave tough and like they don’t need anything when they’re clearly hurting. Then, when you try to assist them they act like you never even lifted a finger. Minnie has been around many people (mostly men) who have this demeanor. ▌hobbies/activities: Hanging out - whether that means she’s going out to eat with friends or having a drink. She likes the movies too, but that depends what’s playing. Otherwise she is fine streaming black comedies and productions that come out of Nollywood. She enjoys swimming during the summer. It’s common for her to partake in social media (twitter and instagram) watching family vlogs (or cute dog compilations). She does a lot of research on the history of Burlesque and women of color, she enjoys reading cheesy sex-charged novels, and figuring out new things to do with her hair. ▌ever hurt anyone before: She doesn’t think so, but she hurts Jett ( @dirtiedhands ) in some form or fashion. ▌ever killed anyone before: No! ▌animal that represents them: A rabbit. ▌worst habits: Playing with her nails when nervous. Going ‘um’ and ‘uh,’ which is a natural habit but it increases when she’s uncomfortable. Getting with men who ain’t shit. Telling everything about herself when she feels drawn to someone. ▌role models: In terms of growing up and having another woman to admire: she has none. When it comes to people she’s researched on and thoroughly learned about, she would say it’s Josephine Baker. ▌sexual orientation: She identifies as Heterosexual, but is leading the life of a Bisexual. ▌thoughts on marriage/kids: Minnie absolutely romanticizes the very idea of having a husband and baby and just being apart of a happy family of her own. It wouldn’t matter if they’re broke, she would feel that there’s a sense of fulfillment that comes with the nuclear family dynamic. Basically, Somewhere That’s Green has always described her domestic fantasies. ▌fears: Going back to prison. Being around people who dabble in drugs in the open because her boyfriend’s drug dealing ruined her life. Never being married. Never really being loved. ▌style preferences: Cute, Trendy. There’s a range between figure-fitting outfits showing some skin to baggy, off the shoulder t-shirts. Designs vary, but characters such as Snoopy or Mickey/Minnie Mouse may be present. Sometimes, she wears very gorgeous scarves. ▌someone they love: Right in this very moment, she feels that someone she cares deeply for is Salvatore Scozzari. He’s always around to talk, tell stories and he even assisted her in finding work after her boyfriend’s arrest. None of her friends have done that. ▌approach to friendships: She’s vibrant, loving, giving. Expect a lot of communication, whether that be face to face or on the phone. Sometimes, she comes off as a person in need of the guidance and stability of a more mature person. ▌thoughts on pie: Clara Moore made terrible pie. ▌favourite drink: Sugary drinks, needs to cut back on them. ▌favourite place to spend time at: Pools. Jett’s car. ▌swim in the lake or in the ocean: Neither!! ▌their type: Charismatic men with swagger and ‘taste.’ (Taste by American standards) ▌camping or indoors: She’s worried about bears coming! So, indoors.

tagged by: @armsdealing tagging: lordt idk, to the person procrastinating on their drafts!

#( MINNIE. / MEMES. )

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logansmoore-blog · 5 years

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PENN BADGLEY // have you seen LOGAN S. MOORE around town? We’re trying to make sure they’re still in town, especially with everything that’s been happening lately. HE is a 33 year old CIS MAN currently residing in Perfection Valley, but they’re originally from LAS VEGAS. they are best known for being the OLDER KIDS TEACHER, and i hear they’re pretty PATIENT/UNDERSTANDING yet also DISLOYAL at times; i hope they continue to survive.

tw: cheating

MEET LOGAN.

► GENERAL INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Logan S(ean). Moore

NICKNAME(S): N/A

AGE: Thirty-three

GENDER: Cis Man

PRONOUNS: He/Him

OCCUPATION: Older kids teacher (middle & high schoolers)

SEXUALITY: Heterosexual

LANGUAGES: English, Spanish

► APPEARANCE

FACE CLAIM: Penn Badgley (Mr. Fake Name)

HEIGHT: 5′9″

BUILD: Lean

DOMINANT HAND: Right

HAIR COLOR: Brown

EYE COLOR: Brown

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: n/a

► BACKGROUND

HOMETOWN: Las Vegas, Nevada

CURRENT RESIDENCE: Perfection Valley, Nevada

PARENTS: Sean Moore & Susan Karen Moore

SIBLINGS: Cole Moore (older brother)

PETS: None

► ABOUT

Born and raised in the City of Sin, Logan grew up in a white collar family where he hadn’t wanted for nothing.

Education was his passion. It wasn’t just one specific subject that drew his attention, no, Logan loved multiple subjects all at once. Each year he would find another subject that drew him in. Not that there’s anything particularly interesting about the subject itself that drew him in but the manner in which the teacher can control the students’ interests through teaching and he enjoyed that power after realizing teachers were the magicians of the real world. The right one could completely bewitch you and have you believing in what was taught; the wrong one could sour the subject completely.

So he pursued it. Went to UNLV (University of Nevada in Las Vegas) and double majored in Secondary Education seeking out both BS and BA because he wished to know both the “art” and “science” of teaching (and is that asshole), to properly bewitch his students as his teachers had when he’d grown up.

Not long after graduation, he’d jumped into a teacher preparation program to be qualified to teach in Nevada as soon as humanly possible. While still in the middle of the program, he’d replied to a hiring ad about a Secondary Education Teacher in Perfection Valley. They’d invited him down for a weekend and a chat and agreed he’d be hired upon completion (and passing) of his program - which he did with flying colors.

It wasn’t too long after that Perfection Valley became home. He was doing something he greatly enjoyed in a town that could really, truly use a teacher that enjoyed it and gave learning life.

Originally residing in the Desert Inn, Logan now resides in a modern trailer purchased by his parents (retirees who were formerly an investment banker & lawyer) and older brother (a corporate lawyer) as a graduation/congratulatory gift on a plot of land just barely on the outskirts of town he’d bought with some of his savings. He’s extremely grateful no sharknados have blown it to bits yet.

tw for cheating. It wasn’t too long after all of the above that he’d come to meet the mother of his triplets, Brenda ( @brendasangulalik ). The situation with Brenda is rocky at best no thanks to his unfaithful, cheating, horny womanizing ways yet he’d do anything for their children. Things were, at some point, good for them. But the years building up to her pregnancy and shortly after the birth of their babies, the stress of the town’s ridiculous, and rather unsafe, weather - among other things - lead him to seek out stress relief in the form of a lay. Well, Brenda eventually split up and they both now have joint custody of the three angels.

More to come!

► THINGS DONE:

► HABITS:

► KNOWS HOW TO:

MEET THE MUN.

hey there, i’m kit. (almost) 31. est. any pronouns.

activity won’t be easy as i’m trying to get over this depression slump rn and force myself to play but i swear, i’m interested and have been beyond excited to join syfy for a long ass time.

i’ve got two super sweet kids that i’ll eventually share pics of ig because i always end up doing so even when i say i won’t be.

playing canons/skeletons have always been easier for me than playing my own ocs so thx natalie for so much of a guideline on what kind of person logan should be.

#syfy.intro #about.

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toomanyfeelings5 · 5 years

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the definitive ranking of pulp! the classics covers and summaries, from worst to best

(Note: Pride and Prejudice was not included in this list, as there were only poster and greeting card options for the work, and not an actual book or summary. Had a book and summary been provided, it would have ranked lowest for unoriginality. It’s literally just 1995 Colin Firth staring moodily at you. The caption is “Lock Up Your Daughters...Darcy’s in Town!” which is just unfortunate, frankly, and honestly laughable.)

16. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

You take a novel that’s positively overflowing with drama and give it THIS cover? THIS summary? Absolutely uninspired.

Here’s looking at you Cathy...

Childhood sweethearts turned star-crossed lovers, fuelled by bitter jealousy and dark revenge. She’s pretty and posh, he’s a moody brooding bastard. Heartbreak, alcoholism and plenty of illegitimate kids – it’s a perfect Northern drama.

Where is the feeling? The screaming violins playing as we read? The moors? The time skips? A hint of the positively bonkers plot that only a Bronte could compose?

15. The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde

Oh, the heterosexuality of it all. On an Oscar Wilde novel, no less.

Hey girl...I’d sell my soul for you!”

Dorian Gray might be as pretty as a picture, but he's paid a devilishly high price for it. He'll stay drop-dead gorgeous, but there's something nasty festering in the attic...

Pretty as a picture and still lusting after ladies? Please. Pulp! Classics, you can do better.

14. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald

Again, we must speak the ancient chant: Oh, the heterosexuality of it all.

When it came to loving...He knew which Daisy to pick!

Sorry old sport, but Gatsby has a bigger house than you, prettier friends than you and a Rolls Royce to cart them all round in. To a backdrop of popping champagne corks and orchestral jazz, our hero bids to buyout his old adversary, perennial jock, Tom Buchanan and reclaim Daisy, his favourite bit of High Society totty.

Nick Carraway gets not one mention, which is odd given that he’s the narrator, the protagonist, and Gatsby’s most ardent love interest. Also strange is the cover’s insistence that Jordan Baker, known lesbian, would swoon over Gatsby. Doubly strange is how tiny the women are in comparison to Gatsby’s massive frame. What is, again, bamboozling, is how the slogan on the cover seems to imply that Gatsby knows how to pick a woman. He doesn’t know how to choose anyone, let alone love them. All Gatsby truly knows is the desperate pursuit of a fruitless dream.

13. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

Romeo looks like he could be Juliet’s father. Juliet looks like an Upper East Side Widow, not at all like the tween girl she really is.

Too wild to live...too young to die!

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou…. Oh wait, he’s hanging around in the garden again. Will young Romeo and his Juliet ever be able to express their raging hormones? Or will their feuding families make this romance blossom into a poisoned flower? Either way, both their houses are totally plagued!

“Wherefore” means “why,” not “where,” though I do have to award points to the summary for placing the blame squarely on the feud and not on these doomed young lovers. Though again, young isn’t the operative word I’d use to describe this version of Romeo and Juliet.

12. Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoe

This is what one would expect upon seeing a pulp cover of a classic novel. Not much originality or flair is present, but at least some sense of the story is conveyed.

Solitude was driving him nuts!

Cannibals! Captives! Coconuts!

One man’s love of the sea leaves him stranded on a desert island with nothing but a few goats, a bible and a parrot for company.

Will he ever escape? Will his new pal Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? Or will solitude send him totally barmy?

WILL Friday learn to efficiently press a goatskin jerkin? One must read to find out, I suppose...

11. Tess of the D'urbervilles

Marilyn Monroe?????

She’s...no angel.

The original Wessex girl!

Tess is just a humble milkmaid when the local landowner has his wicked way. Her new beau, the smarmy Angel Clare, is none too pleased when he finds out she’s already been deflowered. What is a girl to do? Bloody revenge of course, and an ending to touch the hardest of hearts.

At least the summary blames the terrible men in Tess’s life rather than Tess herself, unlike the tagline on the cover. And while Marilyn Monroe seductively lounging about with a drink doesn’t recall the faintest essence of Hardy’s novel, one would like to imagine Tess relaxing in whatever clothes she pleased, a straw dangling out of her drink, a smile on her face as she answers to no one and spends her quiet evening in solitude.

10. Three Men in a Boat by Jerome K. Jerome

An innocuous cover; the men’s faces hint at the comedic nature of this novel, and yet...something nags the brain upon looking at this.

To say nothing of the dog...

Incompetence, embarrassment and general disaster - no it’s not PMQs, it’s a trip down the Thames! Three hapless fellows and a world weary dog decide they need a holiday from their exhausting hypochondria. Hilarious mayhem ensues.

To say nothing of the dog indeed: Why does the dog on the cover have a human face?

9. The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka

All one can say upon viewing this cover is: Jeff Goldblum, is that you?

Change really BUGGED him!

Poor old Gregor. One day he's depressed about his dreary travelling salesman gig, the next, he's roaching around the apartment and disgusting his family. All that's left is creeping the walls and eating garbage. How's his sis ever going to find a sugar daddy with her grotty bro in tow?

Gregor isn’t grotty, he’s our six-legged hero in this tragic tale.

And yet in the end, the question that haunts us all echoes in our minds in an unceasing echo: is that Jeff Goldblum?

8. Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

Alice as a hippie is eye-catching, but not particularly creative.

This cupcake was off her head!

What HAS happened to little Alice? Taking 'shrooms, hanging out with hookah smoking ne'er-do-wells and being dragged to court. That's gonna be one hell of a hangover!

As much as I’m intrigued by Alice wearing heart-shaped sunglasses and a peace sign necklace, the summary and the cover consist of one joke and one joke only.

7. The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

I just like how Dr. Jekyll in this cover looks equally as fucked up as Mr. Hyde.

No more Mr. Nice Guy... There’s a sinister man about London town with something of the night about him. Mr Hyde is mad, bad and has a penchant for bumping off MPs and other kindly innocents. Will his friend Dr Jekyll be able to stop him? Or is there something more to their relationship than meets the eye…? Only the intrepid Utterson can get to the bottom of this mystery, but what will he find in Dr Jekyll’s lab?

Points to this summary for including Mr. Utterson, and for insinuating that Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde may be clandestine lovers.

6. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

Ladies, gentlemen, and otherwise, don’t we love it when a greedy rich man gets bludgeoned by a mace into being more generous and kindly towards others?

This cat was a drag....’til a midnight wake-up call...

Christmas?! What a load of Humbug. Mistletoe and Wine just don't do it for Scrooge; he's a workaholic miser with an attitude problem. If he doesn't change his ways, he'll end up with no friends and Tiny Tim won't last the year. Let's hope some spooky night-time visitors can put the jingle back in his bells!

Ring-a-ling-a-ling, Mr. Scrooge. The mace is raised and the bells are ringing.

5. Heart of Darkness by Joseph Conrad

The tag-line made me, as the youths say, laugh out loud.

Whoops! Apocalypse....

The horror! The horror!

Kurtz might be the apple of every brutish imperialist’s eye, but his God complex is getting wildly out of hand in the depths of the jungle. What on earth will Marlow find when he finally gets downriver? Devil worship? Savages? Heads on sticks? Or just another nutty white man with his knickers in a twist?

Surprisingly anti-racist summary made this jump to the higher echelons of this esteemed list, though of course that doesn’t excuse this novel’s abhorrent and embarrassing fake-deep racism. It also must be noted that the tag-line should have been “Whoops! White supremacy!” and the text of the novel should have entirely consisted of Chinua Achebe’s essay on the work.

4. The Hounds of Baskerville by Arthur Conan Doyle

The cover alone is a winner. A rabid chihuahua out for blood? Inspired.

Murder...Mystery...Walkies!

A desolate moor, a diabolical dog in need of a muzzle and some inbred locals; Sherlock Holmes is really up against it. With the help of his trusty sidekick Dr. Watson, Holmes pieces together a mystery that has captured the imagination of readers across the decades. All whilst practising a serious coffee and cocaine habit.

The tag-line is fun and catchy, but sadly this summary must be admonished for insisting that Dr. Watson is merely a “trusty sidekick” to Sherlock Holmes. Heterosexuality strikes again, reducing the impact of the striking cover design.

3. Dubliners by James Joyce

Finally! Some style, some panache, some flair to accompany these short stories about being sad and horny in Ireland.

Stuck in the Liffey with you...

Booze, Sex and Hot Floury Potatoes… Those Dubliners are at it again!

Liars, thieves, whores and priests… James Joyce sure knew how to throw a party! This relentlessly downbeat collection explores the very worst aspects of human nature, and doesn’t leave out the juicy bits. It might not be in the best possible taste, but who doesn’t want to get down and dirty in Dublin?

The summary and cover work in tandem to wholeheartedly convince me that Dubliners is an action-packed, slick collection of stories detailing the wild escapades of a motley cast of ragamuffins, and I gotta hand it to the folks over at Pulp! Classics for injecting some bonafide vintage cool into Joyce’s work.

2. Othello by William Shakespeare

I have so many thoughts on this. Mr. T. as Othello is fascinating, as is the tagline, “Some kind of Bard...aaaaasss.” Is this a commentary on blaxploitation media? One can’t help but recall Mr. T.’s reasoning behind his mohawk, his gold chains, to honor his ancestors and assert his living, unshakable humanity in a racist society. Is this is a genuine effort on the part of Pulp! Classics to imply that a blaxploitation-influenced adaptation of Othello could reveal deeper truths to the play that we have had yet to glimpse?

Some kind of Bard... aaaasss

He’s a bardass brother with the love of a fine woman. That is until some cloven hoofed honky starts talking crazy about variously hued sheep tupping the hell outta each other! You gotta pity the fool who gets shafted by the green eyed monster. Let’s hope Othello can work out who to trust before it’s too late…

The fast-paced alliterative language of the summary harkens to Shakespeare’s own wit-fueled dialogue and penchant for creative language. The summary also calls Iago a devil, which is apt, and implicitly criticizes his racism, hinting at the play’s greater tragedies to come. The cover and summary also work in tandem to emphasize Othello’s jealousy and destruction: the “green-eyed monster” is mentioned, and the cover itself is a putrid green. An excellent example of what a vintage cover and summary can achieve.

1. Frankenstein by Mary Shelly

You all knew this was coming.

This kid was born on the wrong side of the lab...

Frankenstein’s monster is on the rampage; terrorising the locals, unleashing murderous hell… and reading novels in his spare time. Can his petrified creator stop this reign of horror before his girlfriend gets the chop?

A James Dean-inspired creature, thereby making them a queer icon? Masterful. The creature being “born on the wrong side of the lab?” A stroke of genius; that they’re called a kid puts the poignancy of the monster’s plight into even greater relief, while simultaneously emphasizing their tragic charm. The clear distinction between Frankenstein and the creature? Reader, I exhaled in a cathartic release of tension. The loving detail that the creature reads novels in their spare time, like any other leather-jacket wearing, motorcycle-riding ruffian with a heart of gold? Beautiful.

Truly, the obvious queer energy of this cover and summary highlights an overlooked dimension of Shelly’s great work while also paying homage to what draws us to this Modern Prometheus time after time. Do we care about the petrified creator in this summary? Not at all. He’s not on the cover, appearing both rebellious and gentle. We are here for the creature, in their leather jacket, on their motorcycle, novel sticking out of a back pocket on their jeans, ready to whisk us away to a place where even monsters like us can find solace, and be at peace, and commune with each other. We need only take their outstretched hand, and be willing to leave the mundane world for something better, for the chance to no longer be alone.

#books #art #classic works #i'm going to purchase a copy of that frankenstein cover and no one will stop me

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