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eternal-servants-of-old · 2 years ago

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No lurking anymore. Just a full on brake:

I have been lurking for the majority of these past 2 years. There is a reason behind it, that I didn’t want to talk about since it made me feel silly for thinking this way, but as this kept happening with some people I have to express why I just had enough and taking a brake between; 5/2-5/5 This is me talking about it, and how I am at my limit over it.

No matter what I do I am always told how to do things for a RP. Now friends like Yuko, Hananah (If I spelled your name wrong forgive me.), Sir, a group I am in, and friends I don’t talk to anymore like, Draco, and others You have been nothing more then a blast to get to know, and I am glad to have even a fraction of knowing or getting to know you.

But these great people do not come all the time. I know I am followed or given a brand that I have to work with. What is my brand you may ask? This;

“You are there to write development for ME and MY character, and NONE for yours. And even if I agree to do it with your character getting development, then know my character is taking the spotlight for the whole thing.”

So background character. As well as this. Something I never wanted to talk about was this. I put in some traits in my characters. OC wise not canon. God me being like Gilgamesh. Cursed! Dimitri is my Full of positive vibes, my ace-ness, and ‘i’m the dad’ that stepped up vibes. Quinn is trying to do better, was delt a bad hand in life, learning how to be his own person, and trans. I get it. Dimitri is better by a lot of people’s eyes, and I do not blame people for not wanting anything with baggage...Then again I know also Dimitri is also picked because he is hot. That’s just with OCs sure, but you think if that dose not go with Canon characters, then you are so wrong.

‘I want Gilgamesh!‘ ‘Hey I see you RP Gilgamesh! Can we ship him with my character/OC?‘ ‘Gilgamesh is so hot and no one will want to ship with me, but I was wondering if you could?‘

I get these so much with this man. Now I am getting them with Cu alter, and I am just like, “We could do it where Cu or any other servant could help your character’s depressed ass, but no. You want to do smut, shipping, and use the fact that I might be the only person who will write this with you. BITCH I AM ACE! I am not someone who cares for smut 24/7. Better know this right now!“ Same with Yan. He gets this too. And oh my god I didn’t want to talk about this but Shipping. Shipping is the biggest problem I have had thought out the years. Like I do like the ships I have with my friends. Going down the list.

Draco: Bros for life, Quinn and his brother are my favorite thing and all the positive vibes I could ever ask for.

???: Hate I forgot your name right now. But Quinn and his sis! All three of them Draco being a part of that has been one of my favorite parts of all three of us in the FGO fandom!

Hananah: We made so many verses like holy crap how do I know some things and you is so chaotic I love it. Also I almost gave up so many times in the past, but since you where the only person I knew who gave me CanonxMy OC. I kept going showing you where one of the many lights on this hell sight.

Yuko: Thank you for liking my ships for your character. She is King magnet, and I love it doesn't mean romantically, but just her being worthy of such great people. I adore it. Adore! Plus love all your ocs. Love your babies so much!

Sir: You have gotten me thought the worst of times, hell you found me at my lowest, and you got me into a great community in a rp group of Sun rising. We made the best bro ships ever and my god I am nothing with out your greatness, and getting me to such hard times with some people. Hate I have to go on brake cause of being overwhelmed.

Murry: The only person who gave me the rare ship I never could get in my life time, CanonxOc. I mean it. I rp’ed for over 7 years now and Murry (along with some rare others) is the only few people who has given me this ship. Showing Most people just fucking suck.

And many more. I have sadly forgotten, due to just waking up from crying last night. Yes I cried last night over people telling me how to do things, and just remembering it all of it in one go like some type of psychic damage. The thoughts just happened at the worst time too. I was on VC, and when I saw some writing mistakes I did by the group leader in a different tap with my friends in said group, and I just remembered being told to do things for others, and never things for myself all through out the years I just cried and had to go on mute so no one can know what happened. Nothing caused it, it really just happened. I couldn’t calm down and left with out saying a word, worried I might say something in the moment I would have regret with my emotions being all over the place.

As I was crying my brain was just remembering any time I wanted to write a certain ship or story set up. Any time I tried to explain myself or what I want I am always cut off and said no. Now let me make this clear. If you are not feeling a ship. You can say no. That’s not the issue. The issue is that I gave people so many ships that the rare times I wanted a ship on the top of my list I am rejected cause that said person wants that ship! And the only other time I am given it, it’s just to give someone something they want for later on. And when my RP partner will get the ship with me writing said character, and be happy about it, and I am like, “Oh great. Glad you like the ship.” when really I am like, “Oh...guess I better fuck off then, since you wanted it for yourself. Can’t have anything really.” I mean it. I have made ships I can’t even say why I want them shipped, cause every time I do it’s always goes back to my RP partner. In fact there was one time. ONE TIME in the past years ago I thought it would be different. I was going to get the ship I wanted more then anything. It had symbolism, connections, and so much more. I was so excited to write it down, but it was dropped before we could really get the shipping to happen to go back to my rp partner’s wants and other story line. Saying I was disappointed was a understatement. I was destroyed over what happened that I knew if I talked about it, then it would be me just being too demanding. So I dropped ever bring it up, and we never went back to it or my rp partner. Who also never brought it back up again, since it was clear they never wanted to do it in the first place and did it to be on my good side. And I know they didn’t care, cause you know when you have a good RP partner they remember every ship, funny moment, and things like, “I can’t believe your character got pushed into a lake.” But no. This person couldn’t even do that cause they always brought up there character never mind. Showing my worth to be used by them, and to give them what they want since no one else was.

I am sick of it. I am so mad I can’t have the ships I want, being told no so many times. Never getting a damn chance of MY character/OC getting a fucking main story that I would like to write once in my fucking life! So that’s why I am taking this brake. I am too overwhelmed with these thoughts that I need a brake of people telling me no and ‘my character time not yours’ that it really has gotten too much for me. I’ll be back on the 5th of this mouth. Sorry again. But I do really need a brake online.

#dash #//I mean it no one caused this #//my brain is being mean with remembering all this that I need a brake.

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complacentend · 1 year ago

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I made a quick page about myself, primarily so my age is listed somewhere but here it is for anyone on mobile.

— basics

name) matt age) 29 going on 30 birthday) nov 22 gender) transmasc pronouns) he/him/his orientation) gay location) maple syrup land

— three facts

I am engaged to my partner of 6 years and we’re writing a series together :)

I have 3 cats; Dooder(like snickerdoodle), Bean and Coconut (if you want i will absolutely show pictures of them)

I am a procrastiwriter and use rp to avoid editing chapters

— experience

I have been rping since i was 12 years old, so about 18 years now. Started on facebook, then moved to skype, aim, discord and tumblr. I’ve done fandom characters and OCs, though for the past several years i’ve been focusing on just my original characters and working on my novel.

— favorite genres

I am a big sucker for enemies to lovers, heavy angst of any kind, star crossed lovers, and reincarnation aus. Lately i’ve been getting into dnd verses for characters because i’m getting back into dnd itself and those are fun.

— plots vs memes

Both! Some of my favorite interactions have been memes and some top threads started as memes! Plus i get we’re all busy people and sometimes it’s fun to just throw muses into dumb scenarios via memes.

— long or short replies

Both. i don’t always have the energy for lengthy replies or there’s just not a lot my characters could or would do in situations so i can’t do long ones.

— best time to write

I find i write my best either very early in the day or late at night. When it’s quiet, just myself or very few people.

— one thing i will never write

A straight character lmao. No but honestly there’s nothing i won’t really write.. Maybe a hyper religious obnoxious character because i’d find no fun in it.

— one thing i will always write

Angst. I love to suffer :’)

— other muses i write that aren’t on here

I have around 100 muses, not counting retired ones i don’t use at all anymore. But there are a select few that i write most frequently; Yori, Synner, Rhys, Skye, Parker and Lockette and Six (these two are part of the series my partner and I are writing), but my mood for my characters changes all the time and sometimes i don’t write the main group for a while.

— other places i write

Discord! I write all the time on discord, and I play any of my other muses on there. Pleeeease if you want to check out my other muses i’d be thrilled to rp over there as well. I prefer using a server to rp in for organization purposes but i’m happy to make and maintain them.

Honestly even if it’s not to rp but just talk, i’m always on discord so feel free to add me. Princekin #2286

#((ooc))#((mun))

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willow-salix · 4 years ago

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This is going to be out of the blue and there's no need for a response to it, but I guess I feel like some of you deserve to get a peek behind my armour.

Facebook just gave me a memory from 7 years ago, showing me an album that I'd rather not see quite honestly, but you know when you're just drawn in even though you know it's against your better judgement? Yep, that was me just now.

The album is full of screenshots of the absolute shit ton of crap that I've had on the Internet over the years.

I was in the RP world for ten years, and in that time I was verbally and mentally attacked a lot, I was mentally abused, I was stalked, I was blamed for things I never did, I was used as a scapegoat for things I never did. I was the victim of unwarranted attacks that had my accounts deleted by fb so that I lost YEARS of writing.

I got my heart broken over and over again by people that claimed tk be my friends, people that claimed to love me but that were all too happy to dump me the second a better option came along. People that I sat up all night with, that I lost sleep over, that I went out of my way to help and support.

Some of them lied to me so throughly that they lied about who they were, where they lived, their job, their gender, their nationality, what other characters /accounts they had and everything else you could think of for over TWO years.

I've had one that claimed to be my best friend, sit on my couch, my actual couch, in my house and lie to my face. Lie to me and his long term partner and mother of his three kids that he wasnt cheating with a cheap bitch he met online (the third person he'd done it with I found out after) I only found out about her when she messaged me to tell me.

I stopped talking to him, after their friends started a smear campaign against me, and even then EVEN THEN, I talked it out and started talking to him again. But he turned it around and started blaming me and guilt tripping me again. So I cut him off. He stalked me. Like messaging my friend, posting things to me (actual letters through the mail) making new accounts to message me, buying new phone sims to call me. This was 6 years ago. He called me at the start of lockdown and left a message on my voicemail.

This man mentally abused me. He'd force me to talk to him when I had a problem and then he'd not like what I said, so he'd go silent and ignore me for up to three days, to the point that I'd worked myself up so much that I was apologising, that I was taking the blame for having feelings, only when he got that would he talk to me.

He was an alcoholic who worked in care if you can believe that, I supported him through him getting sober again, he still did all that to me.

I gave up on role play and let my character, my home, the one place I felt comfortable and safe, up. And I didn't go back for two years. I got talked around by someone, they made promises, I stupidly fell for it.

I then got used to bring their character back and to help them sort out storylines. I was then told they didn't want to work with me anymore because they had too much going on in their personal life, they blocked me and I then got screenshots that that had another writing partner already.

That broke me. That broke me and fandom and people and everything really.

I vowed never to go back.

Then I stumbled upon you lot. And I told myself not to get involved, not to start talking to anyone, not to start trusting again. Now look! Now bloody look!

I'm what... 500k + in a story that was never meant to be, I'm actually writing and collabing with people again and I have a character that I adore and feel just as comfortable with... And that is fucking scary.

It's sooooo scary. Like terrifying scary to me.

Because I'm having to trust again. Selene is like public property now, and I love how much everyone has accepted and adopted her and how they use her and write her too, that warms this cold, dead, suspicious heart of mine.

Because I can honestly say that Selene and John saved me and my sanity.

I am quite a sociable person, I love to chat to people and if I'm your friend I will go out of my way to do my best for you, to be there for you and to support you in every way I can. But I know I can be used and I dotn always see the bad in people. So I cut myself off and refused to allow myself to make friends again.

I was writing my novels and that was it. No interaction, no fun really. Then this loud mouthed witch blazed into my head, took one look at the spaceman and said "that one, he's mine, wrap him up I'll take him to go" and here she is.

They made writing fun again, they made it spontaneous and exciting, I suddenly had ideas again, people to talk to about the characters I love and it was hard. Because it was also good.

I had to trust the process, trust Selene.

But I'm also so wary. I'm wary that I'm gonna piss people off, that I'm going to annoy people with her and that people hate her. I know people don't like OCs' and I get major anxiety about that.

I've never had this amount of anxiety over stories before, never. Not my rp, not my novels, not the ones I did for class or competitions, nothing. This is singularly the most stressful writing I've ever done. Because these boys, they mean the world to me, they always have. They have always been my happy place since I was 5/6, they have always been my heart and home.

The problems I had in rp made me not like the books that I loved, the fandom I was in, because of peoples interpretations of the characters, the way they played them and the fact that they were so nasty to me. And I really really don't want that to happen here.

A few weeks ago I noticed that an account had bene set up that was clearly a piss take of me, of this account. And all the old fears and anxiety came rushing back. I instantly went running to Squiddy and Olliepig and basically tumbled around the group chat in a mess for a few minutes before I calmed down and realised what was going on and had a guess at who it could be.

But it's scary. Because I've been stalked, I've been badmouthed, I've had people make fake accounts of me to cause trouble, and it weighs on me.

Willow Salix is my author name, I had to choose that because my Pagan name (which I was writing under and still do on ff and a03) was too well known and my stalkers were reporting it every time I made a new account.

I had to come to love this name, come to see it as myself (willow is my actual real name btw) and feel comfortable with it. It's taken a long time, I've built my brand from it. I have five novels out under it. And to think of someone having an account with even a parody of that name gave me all sorts of chills.

I'm OK now, but yeah. Fun times.

So I guess... I just want people to talk to me. And I don't mean shine by ego lol, I mean that if I ever do anything to piss you off. If I ever say anything you don't like. If I ever annoy you with Selene or anything at all, PLEASE just come and talk to me.

I might put on a tough mask, and in general I am pretty hardy, but I'm a typical cancerian, hard outer shell, squishy inside.

Selene is my sanity in a home life that is far from easy, I won't go into major details but disabled husband, I'm a full time carer, he's majorly depressed and it's just... Yeah. Anyway, she's my refuge, she's my escape right now.

Actually making a side blog for her took so much guts, to allow her free rein to speak and act is scary as heck for me. Because I've been there and vowed to never go back.

The only good thing I took out of all my years of rp, apart from being able to make up a story pretty much on the spot, spontaneous replies, dialogue skills and character development, is my best friend in all the world @endellionaeternus who has seen it all and stuck by me through it all.

I have no real idea why I just typed all this, I guess I needed people to see where I'm coming from, and why Selene exists.

Yeah...

#oc roleplay #oc rp #selene tempest #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderbirds fandom #paranormalromance #john tracy

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thestalkerbunny · 3 years ago

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I would like to know your middle school character.

Okay, just as a heads up; take this with a grain of salt, I made these characters when I was like 14 in middleschool after we did a mental health unit in Health Class and making them was sort of my way of retaining the information better.

So the Character's names are Josiah and Jaggity. Josiah is a human boy, he is roughly 14-16 himself at the time of his creation. He is artistic, he had a sister who died in a very bad situation, he had mismatched eyes, severe anxiety about most things and lived essentially in a group home. Like very much a middle school creation. Josiah was also severely schizophrenic to the point where he most likely couldn't function on his own and had to live with other people. Josiah often felt very bad about himself because from my understanding at the time, Schizoprania was perceived as something dangerous and scary by other people.

(I was a very fond of him at the time I made him and I still am because he was used in a Rp group on DA I used to be in and he has a lot of sorta weird happy memories of people I don't talk to anymore because they've sort of dissapeared off the internet.)

Jaggity was essentially his primary visual hallucination. Jaggity was described as a roughly 7ft tall emaciated cat with no eyelids or pupils, a glasgow smile, a massive hole in his chest and razor blades for fingers. Again. Peak fucking middleschool edginess, me.

Jaggity was basically the visual personifiaction of 'fearing yourself to be what others think of you.' Schizoprania in media is often feared and considered a horror trope. Jaggity appears as a monster. A monster who no matter what he touches he ruins it because his razor blade hands can't hold anything without hurting it. The flip side to the knife analogy is that while people would be concerned about him hurting them-he's just as much risk if not more at hurting himself. Coal Tar often dripped from his eyes, mouth and nose-being perceived as again dangerous (coal tar is a highly flammable substance) as well as disgusting. He was noted to have the smell of kerosene.

He was basically the visualization of how a young boy saw himself who had been taught by main stream media that being schizophrenic and mentally unwell in general is a bad thing.

And like, I feel like I've really really grown as a person and understanding mental illness and writing mentally ill characters BETTER; but even though I'm still rather fond of these characters in general, in design and nostalgia for when I first made them, I sort of restrain myself from touching them at all out of fear people will start yelling at me for past ignorance I had as a stupid middleschooler because the internet isn't kind nor lenient to past mistakes. They do often make their way into goretober art back in the early days of me doing my Goretober challanges

(Mainly Jaggity because his design was sort of so over the top and exaggerated)

But yeah those were my 'masterpiece' middleschool ocs I refuse to touch out of fear of internet based backlash even though I made them when I was super dumb and young to try an help me remember stuff for a test I was studying for.

I was also really into the song 'Monster' by Meg and Dia at the time, so the inspiration comes from there as well.

*gore art below*

#TSB ask #I have no clue how to tag this because I kinda want this to not show up in tags #Jaggity #Josiah

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pheita · 4 years ago

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Get to Know me April 2

[Picture ID: A banner with a blue night sky and visible stars on the upper half and violet dust on the lower half. In the middle is a golden decoration that looks like flowers with a small golden rectangle between it saying: Get to Know me End ID] Welcome Back! Today I am going to talk about my OCs. To be accurate about my oldest OCs. My very first OC was created for a Star Trek RP when I was 14. How it happened is actually a funny thing. In Europe, we have this thing called teletext which is like a predecessor of the internet in some way. You have this button on your remote where you can switch from regular TV to teletext which has various pages ranging from news to all sorts of tips or games. So when I was 14 there was this time when I was sick and got tired and used the teletext of a children’s channel and found this “Pen Pals Searched” page. One of them sounded nice, I wrote her and bam pan pals. She was actually already part of the Star Trek RP and asked me if I liked to join. It worked through letters hence it was the mid 90’s and internet was expensive and only worked on dial up connections. Yeah, the evil Stoneage of the internet. Once every three months we had this magazine put together by the older ones who were around 18/19 where we gathered all the funny RP stories we wrote in the meantime. So my OC there was a Bajoran who served as ship counselor going by the name of Jiskah Bentall. Weird, I still remember all of this. Sadly at some point we all got too old to still have time for this, and it somehow went to sleep. A few years ago one of the older “kids” who ran it created a Facebook group and went to find everyone who was part of the RP. By now we have about a quarter of the old troupe together. It is somehow awesome how we instantly connected again after almost 20 years. The first OC who made it to the internet was again an RP character going by the name of Thyra. She was an OC for a Darkover RP. If you don’t know what Darkover is, don’t feel bad, it was a sci-fi book series written by Marion Zimmer Bradley. Anyway, the RP ran through a message board, and it was only six people so it somehow stopped after two years. But I kinda stuck with Thyra in some way since she managed to became my go-to name in games for a while and even found her way into a story some time ago. The first character I made for an original story was when I was 16. I can’t remember her name anymore, but she was a teenager who was about to become part of a Wicca coven and found her boyfriend there only to realize they were star-crossed lovers and met multiple times throughout time in various incarnations and somehow something went seriously wrong and their minds would jump around their incarnations. Yeah, the story was really strange. The oldest OC I remember the name from is Tamara, who is the MC of a dystopian story I need to rework because I started at the wrong moment within the world. Took me only 12 years to realize… Anyway, she is a young adult living in the dystopian world where only few boys are born every year which resulted into the men having all power and are allowed to have harems and the women only are allowed to work when they are infertile, and she had the age to “get married off” at one of the women auctions. Yeah, it is a deeply misogynic world. I created it when I was about to get heavy depressions and suffered from PTSD. I think a lot of it went into the story. And since everyone has this one character who haunts them: To me it is Aleena, the female MC of “Mystical World” because it was a battle to find a name, a setting within the world and all that stuff, that fits her. At first she was called Moira and lived in a cyberpunk future where mystical beings like her had to hide because the companies knew about them and how to find them. At first came the setting change, and it became a modern day setting, then the name went to Aleena and from being a rebel leader she became a reluctant hero who hates her family heritage because her grandparents were the big heros of the mystical world. Then I revamped everything from her being an adult in her late 20’s to make a young teenager who loves who she is. Lately I realized this doesn’t work as well with this world and I need to find another way. Honestly, by the time I found the right setting, age, names, storyline etc for this world I am retired, and you can compare me to George RR Martin regarding the writing speed of my books. That’s all for today. See you again in two days with the next part. If you like to know more about one of the OCs or about other OCs of mine, the ask box is always open. Taglists: @gwens-fiction @danaspriddy @starlitesymphony @thatfizzyyyy @chris-the-dragonslayer @ayzrules @kiaradimari

#writblr #writing #get to know me april #2 #pheita talks

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leroiloup · 4 years ago

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「 this is a total, 100% “woe-is-me” negativity post, so be warned. I try not to post anything too personal or emotional on this blog, but the truth is, I need an outlet right now. I don’t have a personal tumblr anymore, and tbh, I don’t really want to put this on FB where all my IRL friends would see it. I’m putting this under a read more so y’all can scroll on by and not worry about it. But also, it’s here, so it ain’t a secret. If you want to watch a train wreck, read on.

» » » The moral of this story is going to be that for the next couple of days, I’m gonna be less present on the dash, and just tending to my drafts ( along with developing my OC more because he brings me joy rn ).

Wow, you clicked the Read More. Aren’t you a sick fuck ? Just kidding, you’re my kind of people. I hope your popcorn is ready. If are you continuing, I’d like to give you some disclaimers : literally none of the following is directed at any one individual or group of individuals. There is not an ounce of guilt that’s meant to be transferred. This is 100% my own bullshit as I’m dealing with me. I’m going to complain about RP, but please keep that in mind ; this is all about my own insecurities.

To start, everyone is dealing with a lot right now, let’s not have any delusions about that. Shit in general fucking blows. Personally speaking, I don’t like talking about my emotions or the things truly bothering me. I guarantee that if I ever whine about something, then there’s something much deeper that’s effecting me. As of right now, I’ve identified both : the surface issue that I’m taking my frustrations out on, and the deeper problems that’s the root of what’s going on.

So let’s start with the the deep shit, shall we ? This’ll give better insight as to why I’m struggling mentally with RP at the moment. I’m the kind of person IRL that’s a loner. I’m in my 30′s, but I’ve never had a serious relationship in my life. I don’t have a lot of friends ( but I do have a couple of really good ones ). I tend to just deal with shit on my own. I live alone, I take care of myself. And honestly, all of that is ok because there’s something magical that I have had : my career. I moved to the other side of the country at a young age by myself with one goal, and that was to edit film trailers. And goddamn it, in April 2019, I DID IT ! I mean, I’ve been in that industry since day 1, climbing the ladder, but last April, I was promoted to editor. It was the greatest feeling in the world. I still had a long way to go to prove myself, but I felt like my whole life was worth it for the place that I made it to. Well, this past March ( yes, just 2 weeks shy of my 1st year mark as an editor ) I was laid off due to COVID. Now, I’ve gotten a couple of odd editing jobs here and there, but I’m floundering. I suddenly can’t pay my bills, I can’t even buy proper groceries, but worst of all ? I just sit around all day. Alone. In my apartment. With no sense of direction or purpose. I feel like I lost a whole part of myself ; like I lost who I am as a human being. It’s this terrible, downward spiral of feeling like I don’t even exist anymore. Like who am I without the one thing I identified myself as ? Do I even matter anymore ? My friends are still working, but I’m.... not. I may not have been the pretty one, the witty one, the interesting one, or the loved one, but goddamnit, I was the independent one. I didn’t live a glamorous life, but I have a sweet apartment in a great area all by myself, and traveled, and treated myself to expensive clothing. I lived that Destiny Child’s Independent Woman life. And now ? It’s a big deal trying to decide if I can afford to buy cheese for my turkey sandwiches.

So let’s move this sob story onto the superficial, dumbass things that are bothering me. Like that’s real world shit right ? But I don’t like dwelling on real world problems. I handle it and move on. Yet my heart still hurts so I tend to focus on something less important as my excuse. Enter literally the only other thing I have going on rn RP. Man, I have the best writing partners and the best threads, let me tell you ! When I say I love my dash, I’m not just blowing smoke up y’all’s asses. I mean it. Sometimes I just sit and stare at my drafts in awe. But lately, my brain is frustrated. See, I’m not the Indie RP type. I can’t deal with a thousand different threads and interact with everyone, as much as I’d like to. My brain just doesn’t work that way. I prefer to live in my small corner and have a partner with whom our muses are deeply developed. Like full on universes with stories about different parts of their relationship’s timeline and with NPCs and fucking pinterest boards and shit. Y’all know what I’m talking about. A partner who tags me in shit because they see a post on their dash and it made them think of me. A partner who can just send my muse random asks about shit because they’re bored. A partner I can throw wild fangirly comments at in DMs at all hours of the day because something inspired me, or something made me think of our muses. You see, I had it once. On my Dean Winchester account, I met someone and our muses man... we didn’t plan that shit but they clicked and we were inseparable. It was so amazing. But I can’t write Dean anymore and even though I’m still very good friends with that mun IRL, they don’t write anymore. I feel like I’ve been chasing that high ever since, but it’s just gone.

Like, I just did that positivity night, right ? I really needed the boost and nothing helps like giving out compliments, and it worked. Believe me. I was so tickled by the responses and getting to force myself to think of wonderful things about my partners ( which is easy to do, lbr ). But a couple of people went above and beyond and sent it in as a request for someone else. God, how fucking cool ? But then my stupid brain takes over and reminds me that I don’t have a partner going out of their way like that for me. And god, what a selfish thing to think, right ? This is all good vibes, and I genuinely wanted to make other people smile, but I can’t help but have half my mind say “but what about me ?”. So lame. Especially since I never ask for help so who is even gonna know that need the pick me up ? Ugh. But I’m too chickenshit to ever send someone a meme to make them compliment me. Hell, I’m too chickenshit to like people’s posts when they ask for mains. A voice in my head is like “nah man, keep that shit for other, more qualified candidates. You have good threads, calm down.” But I dunno, sometimes I feel like I have a ton of threads, but that’s all they are ? The fillers ? Sure, it’s great writing, but it doesn’t go anywhere. It’s not meant to build anything for people, it’s just to give them something to do to pass the time while they’re building universes with their mains.

Could I be more selfish ? Like really. But that’s the thing : it’s my desolate feeling of complete lack of purpose in life bleeding into the one thing I’m trying to keep my mind distracted with. Do I hate RP ? No. Do I resent anyone on my dash ? Fuck no ! I love all of you and I’m incredibly grateful for anyone that interacts with me. But sometimes I see some magical friendships here and I just... I want that, man. I miss it. I want purpose again, in any facet of my life. I want to be excited again ; about ANYTHING. I’m tired of bobbing around like a cork on the sea of life.

I wish I meant more. 」

#:: ᴅᴇʀʀɪᴇ̀ʀᴇ ʟᴇ ʀᴏɪ | ᴏᴏᴄ #negativity tw

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enduringsea · 3 years ago

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( rules: you can usually tell a lot about a person by the kind of music they listen to! put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people! no skipping! ) / tagged by @yellowcrumpet ╭( ･ㅂ･)و )))

Thanks for the tag! I LOVE these things-- I don’t rlly have a playlist either though, just a mess of music files on a device I haven’t updated so I’ll be checking my YouTube history too lol. There’s a uhhh.... pattern to be found, mainly relating to Code Vein or other OCs.... which isn’t surprising ._. ;; I made it a separate post bc I knew this was going to get long and rambly with lyric snippets and crying about fictional characters, sorry :D

1. Repeat Until Death - Novo Amor don’t go / you’re half of me now / but i’m hardly stood proud / i said it, almost oh i’ve been low / but damn it i bet it don’t show / it was heaven a moment ago oh i can’t seem to let myself leave you / but i can’t breathe anymore This one gives me Loubeth vibes ok, partially bad end route ;-; While Elizabeth is a very strong person, her friends are the most prominent reason she tries to do anything at all & isn’t living day-to-day in a monotonous grind to survive without a solid purpose other than ‘help random ppl bc it’s the right thing to do’. If she loses them, it’d ruin her & hammers into her head how everything she’s ever done has been a failure. She suffered a major betrayal by her boss before the Collapse, she was unable to fully participate in proj. queen despite her incredible test results, she failed to defeat Cruz and take her blood during Operation Queenslayer, and if she fails to protect the people she’s finally found meaning with? She’d break down completely & destroy herself to save them. She’s always had some level of abandonment issues, and without her family around it’s so much worse, even if it isn’t the most obvious because she’s generally seen as very well put together-- I really can’t express how much it would hurt her to lose Louis, Yakumo, and the others. She’s just not one to show just how bad it can truly get for her mentally and emotionally-- she’s resilient as hell, she’s been through hell repeatedly and survived it all, so it’s easy for others to assume she’s fine all things considered. It makes her feel weak and ashamed of herself if she shows any level of vulnerability, so she doesn’t; she swallows it down and is afraid of disappointing those who look up to her as a fighter and friend-- of course, no one at Home Base would blame her for being vulnerable, they all have their moments, Bethy just sets herself to such a high standard it’s difficult for her to talk about her own suffering in spite of how well-versed she is in getting her thoughts and feelings across otherwise. Louis is the one most keen to how deeply she’s hurting, but he doesn’t understand just how deeply until she finally does fall apart. The final swell of the song and its desperate lyrics really relays the pain they both feel-- Louis too would not fare well if something happened to Elizabeth, because he blames himself she was even involved in Operation Queenslayer for a long time, I honestly did so bad in explaining coherently, this song just has so much emotion and hurt behind it adklfjdfdff </3

2. Looking Out For You - Joy Again this is a love song for a girl who will never know it’s about her she's beaming that smile / all the while i’m all tripped up on my own throat i guess there is no hope This song reminds me of Elizabeth & my friend’s character Takashi Fujioka, who gets-- vERY...FRIENDZONED, for lack of a better word, by Elizabeth in his story, it’s really summed up best as tragic (;﹏;) Before the Collapse they were hitting it off, then the Collapse happened, they were separated, he lost his sisters, Mido happened, he was experimented on + became a revenant, etc, etc; years have passed since then & she’s gotten her life together as much as one can in a world like Vein, but for Takashi it’s like no time has passed at all. Elizabeth is subtly older in appearance, she’s been working w Lou & Co. for a long time; Loubeth blatantly have a connection, & rather than bringing up his feelings + making it awkward bc he values their friendships, he just kinda. chokes on them & does his best to help out the team. It doesn’t help he can’t even be jealous bc Louis is a really solid friend to him too, IT’S JUST A MESS OF A SITUATION & the death of what could have been if things were different.

3. Closer - Teagan And Sara ( no lengthy explanation for this one thank goodness, I’ve just been watching BoJack Horseman again and I really like some of the songs they add in, I like listening to this one on loop when mindlessly coloring something )

4. Brutal - Olivia Rodrigo all I did was try my best / this the kind of thanks I get? they say these are the golden years / but I wish I could disappear ego crush is so severe / god, it's brutal out here I have it on a playlist for Elizabeth somewhere, not all of it applies to her but it reflects some of her struggles she has both before & after the collapse. She’s-- always kind of been a mess while under immense pressure + has serious self image issues, this song hits that side of her well. She’s been held to humanly impossible standards by both herself and her family bc frankly? She can reach them, she’s NOT exactly human. She was born into her position as a hunter & intends to keep it for as long as she lives (like revenants, her kind is very much ‘either gets killed or lives 5ever), even if some days she really feels how heavy the burden can be. She didn’t have a normal childhood and she’s fine with it for the most part, but it alienates her from most of her peers-- she never got to date anyone, never had a close group of friends, never went to parties that weren’t formals, etc., while she feels a little childish about it, she does envy ‘normal’ and understands the pressure she’s lived under her entire life has caused damage-- she has been exploited for her abilities, there’s just not much she can do about it but to keep going, rlly.

5. Freaks - Surf Curse don't kill me / just help me run away from everyone i need a place to stay / where i can cover up my face don't cry / i am just a freak / i am just a freak UhhhHHH this song really makes me think of Oliver Collins :D;; thank TikTok for showing it to me. It makes me think of how scared he was, of both the world and the revenants who captured him. The song’s use of the word ‘parasites’ really makes me think of Revenants and the BOR parasites XD I’m hoping when I poke my video editor again, I can record some Oliver footage to make a short video to this song. Oliver deserves so much better, I wish you could save him, but that’s what AUs are for, hahah.... The second half of the lyrics make me think of the AU I have where he lives and has to grapple with the guilt of surviving and the things he did to other revenants to get by too.

6. All Eyes On Me - Bo Burnham you say the ocean’s rising / like i give a shit you say the whole world’s ending / honey it already did you’re not gonna slow it / heaven knows you tried got it? good / now get inside I haven’t seen the Netflix special yet but I’ve had this song on repeat since my move started. The lyrics hit too hard & resonate with my existential dread, covid exhaustion, and extreme burnout in my 20s, but bc I have Damage I can also relate it to CV ._. ‘you’re not gonna slow it, heaven knows you tried. got it? good now get inside’ makes me think of--;; the bad end route again, and Elizabeth’s desperation to keep her found family together. It’s not like her to completely stop caring about an issue, but in the moment she realizes what’s being taken from her? She doesn’t want to save all of revenant-kind if it means she’s going to wind up alone all over again, her world is effectively over if she’s forced to be alone again. The MC frenzying means the only immediately identifiable hope she had of saving everyone else is gone, so why not just go home? If they’re all doomed, she wants to at least be together for a little while longer, it’s fine if they use her blood to survive & everyone else in the mist is out of luck, it’s soul-crushing bc I’ve never had her in a situation where she’s been this reckless, despondent/hopeless, and thinking irrationally where it’d impact more than herself-- especially when she’s normally goal-oriented, organized, meticulous, so on so forth: she’s not one to act without thinking something through first, but that last breath of light just got sucker-punched out of her. All she wants is home, comfort, and family, and ultimately in the bad end route she does manage to preserve their lives, maintain the mist, and supply blood beads, but her own condition leaves her on the throne-- it’s a mix of the bad, neutral, and true ending rlly ldkfjdf BUT YEAH enough rambling on that :D;; This song’s really good and touches a lot of different thoughts and ideas both in real life and my ocs, kind of embarrassing--;; thank u bo burnham for ruining me with this beautiful song

7. Yellow - Coldplay look at the stars / look how they shine for you / and everything you do your skin / oh yeah, your skin and bones / turn in to something beautiful do you know / for you I'd bleed myself dry Does this song make me think about JackEva? Yes. Yes it does. Star / night sky symbolism? Bam. Sappy lyrics about love and finding the person you’re with absolutely mesmerizing and worth dying for? BAM. If JackEva were capable of using their own blood to save each other, I can see it-- hJNGn they just care about each other so much, Jack cries for her even though they both knew that eventually one of them would succumb to their duty, and if the roles were reversed I can see Eva doing the same, I adore them beyond human language. On my CV RP blog, my Jack’s not shippable bc-- Eva, my friend even have them looking after his nephew (an oc--) at one point. I should seriously drop some headcanons down eventually....

8. Louder Than Thunder - The Devil Wears Prada are we meant to be empty-handed? / i know i could, i could be better i don't think i deserve it / selflessness, find your way into my heart all stars could be brighter / all hearts could be warmer

LMFAO throwback to my middle school playlist, I’m old-- I’ve applied this song to a lot of things back in the day, but I really connect it to Loubeth now, especially Louis. Lou & Bethy are both functional idiots who are too hard on themselves & have trouble recognizing their worth beyond what they can do for others. They’re trying to be better-- to make up for what they perceived wrongs they’ve done, but it’s hard, they don’t believe they’re worthy of the love and support the other gives, but they still yearn for that sense of security. After Louis’ memories are returned, he finally understands the guilt he’s felt since he became a revenant and it really skews his self-perception; he blames himself for so many things & Elizabeth, who has always been able to kill when necessary, sets it straight-- “It’s not your fault”, and it takes Louis some time to properly absorb that message. He thinks she’s just trying to comfort him, which she is tbh, but she’s not wrong: “It’s not your fault you couldn’t kill someone. It was never your job to kill anyone.” It’s up to people like her to do those sort of things-- Elizabeth may not have been present when Cruz frenzied, but if she had been? It would have been over before it started, that’s something she has regrets over, even if nothing could have been done since she was already on the field. Actually, she’s actually really quite angry that security failed to monitor Cruz properly and has a few select words for the ones there who could have actually done something before it got out of hand-- civilians and doctors are exempt from her shtlist bc they’re not meant to be killers (so don’t worry Artorias, she’s not ready to bite your head off!), but they had to have some kinda security detail rite o-q??? They’re probably hiding from her wrath-- BUT ANYWAY, she insists she’ll never blame Louis for not being able to do something as serious as killing another person. He was a normal human being who cared about his friend, not a failure, and he couldn’t have been expected to do something that shouldn’t have fallen on his shoulders in the first place. As many times as it takes, she’ll reaffirm that it wasn’t his fault, she’s not angry, he’s always done his best and her opinion of him hasn’t changed. He’s a good person and she loves him through all the hurt, though she doesn’t drop the word ‘love’ for a long time. It just-- takes Louis a while to accept she views him as someone worthy of the love and respect she has for him. It’s kind of ironic she’s so adamant on Louis not blaming himself considering she’s the one privately blaming herself for-- wow there’s too much to unpack, she feels guilty she was even born?? im so broken over these two. I love them and yet they SUFFER...

9. What I’ve Done - Linkin Park i'll face myself / to cross out what i’ve become erase myself / and let go of what i’ve done today this ends / i'm forgiving what i’ve done

I have Louis Amamiya brainrot and I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks that this song fits him super well & it needs to become an AMV dsjfkldsfd. I’m a near life-long Linkin Park fan and this fits with Lou so well thematically. As much as I’ve gone on about Louis’ guilt, he does steel himself to keep going forward in spite of it and make things right, for everyone. Maybe it wasn’t really his fault, but at the end of the day his inability to kill Cruz in that moment left a disaster in its wake that got a countless number of people killed-- the MC included with Karen and Aurora. He doesn’t want to run away from the truth, doesn’t want to make excuses, he wants to take responsibility for it and he’ll work himself to death if it means things will be better-- it’s both admirable he’s got a strong resolve and VERY concerning with how willing he is to die for the cause, please don’t overdo it, Lou, you’ll break mine and Bethy’s hearts ._.;; It won’t always be easy, there are moments the grief gnaws at him, but in the end he does overcome it (and uh. as in the bad ending, we know he can actually do it this time). I know we can’t see everything, but I would have loved deeper character interactions, especially with Louis with an emphasis on grieving + forgiving himself properly-- but this song really is nice with the whole ‘I’m going to face my mistakes head on, forgive myself, and keep moving forward’. It’s what Louis deserves: self forgiveness and a damn break ‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚

10. Call of Silence - Hiroyuki Sawano you will know you're reborn tonight / must be rough but i’ll stay by your side even if my body's bleached to the bones / i don't want go through that ever again so cry no more / oh my beloved ngl idk if those are the correct lyrics, buuuuuuut....... im a weenie and am internally weeping abt loubeth after midnight, what else is new lmfao- i’ll at least try to be brief :D I also used to really like Attack on Titan when I was in high school, I dropped the anime years ago because I was waiting for s2 and never got back to it once it started airing again, I thought I’d finish it once the anime was complete since I eventually caught up with the manga, such a good series BUT ANYWAY-- I think it’s a really pretty song and Loubeth fit with the tender lyrics. IT’S LATE, idk what to say about them other than what I’ve said already dsklfjdslf im sorry I really ramble a LOT and I’ve been so busy lately I haven’t had the chance to >w>;;

#i do not know how 2 b quiet #long post #personal text #yellowcrumpet

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dullweapons-a · 4 years ago

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I see y’all talking about ocs..........lemmie put my two cents in since i’m the best oc blog ever ( i’m joking dfaksd -- )

I had a LOT of anxiety when it came to making this blog because in my head they were mary sues . I thought no one would want to rp with someone who shoehorned their oc characters into the story and made them overpowered demons . to me , i was taking an underused concept and expanding on it ! but to someone else it may look like im stealing or even just tooting my own horn . ie ; my characters are great , nintendo needs to learn from me .

of course this is not the case ! a lot of you have expressed how much you enjoy my character and how i’ve built up the concept of sword spirits !

for so long I was part of zelda rp group were you HAD to be mortals . no one could be an amazing swordsmen like Link . if you even had blonde hair and blue eyes on your oc, the mods ( and I was one of the mods ; i have many regret...... ) would comb though your application to make sure it wasn’t too mary sue . . . too much like a canon character . . . couldn’t have that main character vibes . don’t even THINK of being related to a canon character , no matter the characters role .

and shipping with canon characters ? A SIN. that implied you where a thirsty 12 year old with a bad self-interest oc . ( self inserts are fine btw !!! you wouldn’t have ray without my self insert from when i was 12 LOL - i think he’s my great grandson or something idk that’s not canon anymore - ) i was happy with my simple characters , but there is so much in the zelda universe to play with ! why limit yourself when you can expand and explore so many concepts nintendo used once and never again ? it helps you learn how to be creative !

so coming here was kinda refreshing but also scary ! i could have my characters and not feel the need to tone down their power level or remove the parts of them that were ‘ too much ‘ but i also still fall back into my old judging ways when i see other characters -- im getting better but hey , this is all for fun !!! so don’t worry about what other people may think about your oc ! at the end of the day its about having fun with your friends ~

or you know i work on my comic and my characters are canon and no one can tell me im doing them wrong because i am my own god owo

#‘ seeker of darkness ‘ ( MUN & OOC )#uhhhh yeah so fuck it im shipping with every canon character #watch your backs im coming for you -#i had feelings and just wanted to get them out #anywho -- back to writing

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strawberry-metal · 4 years ago

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Ok ok, I’ll do one more unmasking and let you guys see the apology segments because honestly? I think her owning up and apologizing is just as important as her exploding like that.

Once again, all parts are from an au rp with @kazekothestrange Also to answer your question, anon. Kazeko is one of @kazekothestrange‘s ocs. She’s a hamon user and is the medic of the group, she is also Avdol’s love interest. All those big ass bloody wounds everyone gets in like every episode but somehow recover from the very next? That’s from Kazeko using her hamon to heal their wounds. Joseph can’t use his own hamon like that because he’s... too damn old. XD

Note though that Shanna is... kind of bad at apologizing but shes trying. This post also contains more references to how Shanna used to act prior to meeting Jotaro! Also contains some Tsundere Shanna, heh.

Also no, Jotaro hasn’t confessed yet, but their feelings are painfully obvious lol. They’re both mostly aware the other has feelings for the other, but they’re still scared to confess, mostly because danger keeps finding them.

------------------------------

Apologizing to the SDC:

------------------------------

Shanna: For fuck's sake. I'm still mad at him but I couldn't help but worry more than be mad so I had to come back. The moron is making everyone worry again....*she jumps down* LISTEN UP! I'M ONLY GOING TO SAY THIS ONCE SO-!

Rose: Isn't there something else you should say first!?

Shanna: Oh my gooooooosh this is why I didn't want to come back, I didn't want to deal with you or you! *she gestures to Rose and Joseph* ...I'm not gonna apologize for feeling betrayed or getting mad at Rose, got it!? ....I will however apologize for my...*she folds her arms across her chest and looks away, as if this is hard for her to do* For picking fights and showing attitude. There was a big misunderstanding and I took it out on you guys. I'm mad about something else now but that doesn't concern you guys so....uh.....sorry....

Holly: *its not the best apology but shes trying, so she appreciates it* ...But you mostly came back for Jotaro, hm? ^^

Shanna: Tch. I know him well enough to know that he shuts himself off from everyone when he gets upset, and I KNOW hes upset. *she sighs* Honestly.

Rose: *she opens her mouth to say shes no better but quickly stops, knowing it'll just make Shanna more angry at her*

Joseph: *he gives Rose a pat on the back, and steps towards Shanna* I know how hard it can be to apologize. Especially when you feel like you were wronged. So thanks for that. *he smiles warmly at her* .. Sorry for almost accepting your challenge.

Shanna: ....*she closes her eyes and grins* I would of won anyway old timer! Heh!

Joseph: ... *he snorts, and grins right back* Ha! Don't you bet on it.

Kazeko: *she softly smiles from the background. At the very least, she doesn't seem angry with Joseph anymore. That's good*

Shanna: *she steps back and points at the crowd* Now listen up everyone! I'll only say this once! I am Shanna Le Brillante! I'm from a noble family and WILL be the next head, so treat me with respect! Last year I was a street fighter!

Rose: Don't tell them that!

Shanna: Now I want to become a rockstar, I guarantee you won't find someone who can shred a Warlock better than I can! I've known Jotaro for a couple months now and I will not share him! Nice to meet you!

Holly: *she supportingly claps her hands, not bothered at all but the street fighter bit*

Rose: *sighs*

Joseph: *he raises an eyebrow, an amused smirk crossing his lips* A street fighter? Looks like we have a lot to talk about! ... heh, anyway, good to meet you too, kid. I'm Joseph Joestar. *he holds out his hand* And you'd better not underestimate this old codger!

Shanna: *she raises an eyebrow. This old man....maybe hes not so bad after all* As long as YOU don't underestimate me for being young! *she accepts the handshake and returns it with a strong grip*

Joseph: Never! *with a twinkle in his eyes, he grips her hand a little harder. the hand he held out was his prosthetic*

Shanna: *she winces a bit, and there’s an impressed look on her face. Looks like his greeting has earned her approval*

Kakyoin: *he can feel the tension in the room starting to vanish. he feels some weight come off his shoulders as he watches the jovial greetings*

Shanna: *letting go of his hand, she approaches the small brunette, tilting her head up for a bit in questioning, before looking back down at her* Dunno your name, but sorry for glaring at you so much earlier. Again, it was a misunderstanding and to be honest, you in particular....made me feel jealous. I hope we can start over. I know I can be a little scary. Heh.

Kazeko: *she shakes her head, smiling gently* It's alright... I was a little overwhelmed. But I'm ok now. ... to be honest, I was worried that I'd ruined things before we'd had a chance to even talk... ... but, jealous?

Shanna: Um, I... *she turns around, her back facing her, re-folding her arms across her chest and tilting her head up, cheeks pink* It's not important! It's not like other girls being close to Jotaro makes me jealous or anything!

Rose: Ara.

Shanna: Shut up Rose.

Kazeko: Oh...? *she blinks, and her smile widens* Eheh... you have nothing to worry about. I've known Jotaro a long time. The last time I saw him, he was only this big. *she holds her hand a little lower than her waist*

Shanna: Oh. I see, so it's family relations! Naruhodo....*she lowers her hands* An-Anyway. Just call me Shanna. Nice to meet you.

Kazeko: It's nice to meet you, Shanna. I'm Kazeko. *she closes her eyes in a smile* I hope we can be friends now.

Shanna: Ah, yeah. I hope so too, let's start over, yeah? *she kneels next to Kakyoin* And you....Kak-yo-ween? Don't worry about the...fight. I hope your head feels ok. *she reaches a hand out and ruffles his hair* What was that again? A stand? Jotaro, Rose and I have one too so...let's be friends!

Rose: !! /She...included me...?/

Kakyoin: *he leans away when she starts ruffling his hair, a little annoyed by the way she says his name, but his eyes brighten nonetheless* Ah... really...?

Shanna: Sure! I mean, why not? Yesterday's enemies are today's friends! Uh....wait that doesn't quite work in this context. Um...my point still stands!

Rose: ...Shanna, his name is pronounced Kakyoin.

Shanna: Oh crap uh, sorry- *she rubs the back of her head sheepishly* We've been in Japan for about two years now I think. I'm afraid my Japanese still isn't very good. Hope I don't offend-

Holly: She once called Jotaro, “Jotato”~

Joseph: Snnnrkkk... PFFFTTT-!! JOTATO!

Kazeko: Pffu-!!

Kakyoin: .... snrrrrr.... !!! A-Anyway...! It's alright... um... thank you. Maybe... we can be friends. *in spite of his lukewarm reply, he looks happy. deeply happy*

Shanna: *she looks embarrassed now that everyone knows about 'Jotato'* Mm, ok. Think on it! I'm sure we have many more things in common! *she stands back up* HOWEVER! For now, I have a broody friend I gotta drag out of his room!

Rose: How do you know hes in his room...?

Shanna: *she places her hands on her hips* I can read Jotaro perfectly. I mean hes soooo obvious you know?

Rose: He....he is? o_o

Joseph: *he smiles. his recently grouchy, closed off grandson... he was lucky to find someone like this*

Kazeko: Don't let us keep you, then. We'll be waiting... and I'll reheat the tea. ^^

Shanna: Thank you, I look forward to the tea. *with that, she leaves the room rather quickly, knowing exactly where to find him*

------------------------------

Apologizing to Jotaro:

------------------------------

Jotaro: *staring blankly at the ceiling as he lays on his futon, the raven haired male sighs. maybe he could have done something differently and avoided this whole thing... what kind of a friend was he if he made her think what she did?*

Shanna: *it doesn't take long for her to make it to his door, she knows this place like the back of her hand, since she comes over so often. Resisting her urge to just barge in, she knocks on the screen door first* ....

Jotaro: ... *he looks at the door out of the corner of his eye. it's probably his mom, or so he thinks* ... What?

Shanna: *she slides the door open* The hell you mean 'what'?

Jotaro: *hearing her voice, he sits up in surprise* ... Shanna...

Shanna: Yes I know, I'm surprised I'm back too. *she steps back in, sliding the door closed behind her* Look. I'm still mad. It's irritating but even when I'm mad at you, my worry for you outweighs it, and as I thought, you closed yourself off from everyone.

Jotaro: ... you know me. *he averts his eyes* ... I didn't feel like being around the others.

Shanna: Yeah I didn't either. Look, I uh. I really do hate myself, you know that, but at the same time, I got this annoying ass pride going for me, probably because I got a noble family tied to me. But uh....*she sticks her hands in her skirt pockets and looks off to the side* L-Look. I'll just get to the point. I'm sorry I got so mad at you, and that I still am. It's just...*she sighs heavily* It felt like I didn't mean anything to you, and that you didn't trust me. I mean it when I say that you mean alot to me, ok? So even when I found out the truth, it still hurt, alot. Because while you stayed put when I ended up crying over you, some guy pissin' you off made you come out.

Jotaro: ... *he listens quietly, his eyes on her the whole time she talks. he knows where she's coming from, really he does. and when she finishes, there's a short silence before he answers her* ... I'm sorry. ... seeing you cry hurt. ... but even if you pissed me off, I wouldn't have come out for you. Because when you're involved, I can't... I can't take any chances I might hurt you. ... I didn't want to hurt anyone, but especially you.

Shanna: *she opens her mouth to speak, but instead closes it to think over her words* ...I...get that. You act tough but deep down you're soft. *She glances at him before averting her gaze again* ...I was jealous...alright? I was jealous because a couple of old people and their friend could get you to leave and I couldn't. It made me feel powerless, untrustworthy and... it's stupid but it made me question how you feel about me, and I took it out on them, especially your grandfather and Ka-Ka...Kaaaa.....uh- that lady. ...I was a bit overdramatic earlier about how I'd rather die than be around my sister and your grandfather again, and I'm sorry for that too. I tend to just blurt out words when I'm over emotional instead of actually thinking them over. I already apologized to your family. I'll get out of your hair now. You should... get out of your room, everyone is worried about you. *she reaches for the door and slides it open*

Jotaro: .... Wait. ... Please.

Shanna: *she takes a deep breath and slowly exhales, silently telling herself not to push him away and actually hear him out this time. Turning back around to face him* Mm?

Jotaro: ... I should have come out when you were there. I should've known Star would never hurt you... but you should have seen him. It was like someone let a demon out of hell. ... I wasn't thinking right. ... *he goes silent for a few moments, thinking over what he should say* ... I don't blame you for feeling betrayed and pissed. ... and I still wouldn't blame you if you went home. ... but... I'd be happy if you stayed.

Shanna: Gosh, you always make everything so damn complicated. *she blows at her bangs* I don't understand why you'd still want me around, especially after having an argument like we did... though then again, there's alot I still don't understand about you. ....I hope I can figure it all out, someday. Just when I think you're easy to read, you confuse me again. ....Heh. *she closes the door again, staying*

Jotaro: ... *he smiles, just ever so slightly* ... you figured out this much in a few months. ... You'll probably have it all in a year.

Shanna: Yare yare, what a pain. *she steals his phrase, kneeling down on the floor beside him, reaching a hand out to flick his forehead* Baaaaka.

Jotaro: *he opens his mouth to say 'oi, but then she flicks his forehead* Fuck.

Shanna: Fuck you too. *she closes her eyes and grins*

Jotaro: You know that's not what I meant. *he smiles back and pulls her into a hug*

Shanna: *she opens her eyes, blush creeping across her cheeks as she slowly reaches her hands up to hug him back* ....m' sorry for making you cry, too.

Jotaro: ... 'ts fine... *he mumbles* Long as you don't tell anyone.

Shanna: Nah. I embarrassed you enough today in front of everyone.

Jotaro: Oi, don't say that. *his grip around her tightens* ... they'll forget about this by tomorrow. ... well, I don't know Kakyoin. But everyone else will.

Shanna: ...Mm. *she buries her face into his shoulder, it feels like it's been too long since shes been held like this again*

Jotaro: ... *he gently rubs her back, shifting his position to make it comfier for them* ... I missed you. I know it was just a couple days but I missed you, damn it...

Shanna: Yeah, I missed you too...we would see eachother every day so missing eachother for that long felt wrong...

Jotaro: *he nods against her, nuzzling his face into her hair*

Shanna: ....Myu..*she leans forward till they both flop to the floor, moving her head to keep her cheek rested to his shoulder, still blushing. A bit of their everyday lives is starting to return*

Jotaro: ... *he can't help but smile. that 'right' feeling of having her small frame laid on top of him is finally back*

Shanna: *she curls up ever so slightly* ...I'm still not gonna share ya.

Jotaro: Me neither. *he retorts, giving her a squeeze*

Shanna: Pff-! There’s no one to share me with anyway, baaaaka~ *finally, she gives him a nuzzle, like she always used to*

Jotaro: *at this, he smiles, warmly and genuinely as only she can get him to* That's cause I won't let any other guy try anything.

Shanna: Fufu....ufufufu! Then our feelings are mutual~ /Ah. With that in mind, maybe I should be careful how I interact with the new guy, Jo might get jealous-/

------------------------------

Apologizing to Avdol, who has no idea what the fucking shit happened but he appreciates it anyway:

------------------------------

Avdol: I thought I heard alot of laughter back here. *a smile makes its way to his face* It looks like everyone is friends now?

Rose: Hai. Sorry for my sister's trouble earlier.

Shanna: Oi, I can apologize for myself.

Avdol: *he shakes his head* Don't worry about it. You have room for one more?

Holly: Of course! Avdol-san, was it? Please, join us!

Kazeko: I saved a spot for you, Mr. Avdol. *she scoots a little further to the side to make more room*

Joseph: Come join the 'party', Avdol~

Jotaro: *wrapping an arm around Shanna's shoulders, he exhales softly. he thought this would be annoying, but... it's not so bad*

Avdol: Thank you! Don't mind if I do, then! *he takes a seat next to Kazeko, giving her an appreciative smile before grabbing a cup* Did you make this, Ms Kazeko? Mm. It smells great~

Kazeko: I did, thank you...~

Shanna: So uh....Avdor?

Avdol: HAH! No, no. Avdol.

Shanna: Ah. Ok...um...Avdol then. Nice to meet you. I'm sorry we uh...got off to a rough start.

Avdol: *he shakes his head* It's fine, you apologized, and that's enough for me. My full name is Mohammed Avdol, I'm a fortune teller from Egypt. Nice to meet you.

Shanna: *Ahem* Yeah? Well listen up, I'll only say this once-!

Rose: Don't repeat all of that again to try and sound cool.

Shanna: *she huffs in irritation* ....I'm Shanna Le Brillante, you can just call me Shanna. Last year I was a street fighter, but now my dream is to become a rockstar! AlsoI'mnextinlineastheheadofmyfamily.

Rose: Pff....~

Avdol: Ah...then Miss Shanna it is~

Shanna: ....J-Just Shanna is fine. /////

Kakyoin: *he finds himself smiling more to himself. This is.. nice. It's unusual, but he doesn't feel as uncomfortable as he did before*

Joseph: Hahah! Get used to it, formalities are a habit for him! *he grins, giving his friend a pat on the back* I finally gave up on getting him to call me by first name.

Shanna: Heh! I hope you don't mind me being informal Avdol, I don't mean to be rude, it's just that, well... how do I explain this without getting flustered....

Avdol: *he chuckles* Don't worry about it. Avdol is fine. Miss Kazeko, thank you for the tea. It's green, right? *he takes a sip, enjoying the taste*

------------------------------

Apologizing to Rose after finding out about Dio and shit:

------------------------------

Shanna: ....*she holds her tongue on them being in danger for months now*

Jotaro: *he pulls her close to his side*

Kazeko: It must be hard to hear... your life's been fairly normal up until now.

Holly: *she nods* But...hopefully...these four can be safe now. Papa, Avdol-san, Kazeko-chan...please be careful?

Shanna: *she leans against Jotaro, feeling a little better from his comfort*

Rose: ...Kakyoin-san, your face has been quite red for awhile now. Are you ok?

Kazeko: Of course Holly. Mr. Avdol and I are here to make sure your papa stays safe. *she smiles at her softly, placing her hand on hers* You can trust us.

Joseph: Oi, Kaz, don't talk about me like I'm still 19! *he looks miffed* I don't run in recklessly half as much as I used to!

Kakyoin: Uhm- ah! *he blinks, his eyes darting away and to her a couple of times* I-I... I'm alright, really. ... /I-it's that obvious...? I hope I haven't caught a fever.../

Jotaro: ... *after making sure everyone is distracted first, he leans down and kisses the top of her head*

Shanna: ...*she smiles a bit...how long has it been since hes given her kiss since he got stuck in jail?*

Rose: *she raises a hand and places it to his forehead* You're burning up, I'll get another cloth for you so you hopefully don't catch a fever.

Holly: *she chuckles softly* F-For now, let's focus on enjoying the present.

Avdol: Yes, a life was saved today, it is a most joyous occasion!

Joseph: That's right! *he grins, hoping to pull the mood back up* Kakyoin, call your parents and tell them you're spending the night at a friend's house. I think we could all use it!

Kakyoin: Th-thank you... *he lowers his eyes, he definitely felt hotter when she touched him*

Jotaro: *he risks giving her one more kiss, then squeezes her to his side* /More later./

Kazeko: It's been a long afternoon... it's almost 5. *she gets up* Holly, Mr. Avdol, do you want to help me make something for dinner?

Shanna: *she blushes from the second kiss* /Y-Yes, please.../ Kakyoin! *she raises up her hand in a peace sign* Tell them you made three new friends at school today! One guy, and two beauuuutiful girls~!

Jotaro: /Good, cause I want to give you a lot./

Rose: *she blushes* Sh-Shanna!

Shanna: It's true!

Holy: *she claps her hands together* Yes, let's cook a wonderful meal together!

Avdol: I'd be happy to help out~

Kakyoin: A-aha... I-I will... *he only blushes harder, smiling as he gets up* ... they'll be happy to hear that I made friends on my first day...

Kazeko: Great, thank you both very much~

Joseph: when you're done, Kakyoin, I need to call the Foundation with this new lead. But there's no hurry, alright?

Kakyoin: H-hai.

Shanna: Well, with that, Rose, how about we spend the night too? It'll be like a sleepover!

Rose: Aren't you mad at me though? What you said earlier...

Shanna: ...Please forget what I said. *she lowers her head* That was....ridiculous of me. I shouldn't of said what I did. I was being a brat and you called me out on it, and I responded by being an asshole. I'm sorry. The truth is I am still a little upset, but I’d like to move on.

Rose: *her eyebrows upturn* ....Apology accepted.

Avdol: *he smiles at the sisters seeming to recouncil about something, and he leaves the room with Holly and Kazeko to help prepare food for everyone*

Kazeko: *she stays behind for a second, relief flooding her features. thank goodness...* Girls? Kakyoin? Is there anything you don't like in food I should keep in mind?

Kakyoin: *he jumps slightly at being called as he's leaving the room* M-me? Ah... no, I'm not terribly picky. But thank you.

Shanna: No tomatoes, please!

Rose: No onions for me, and if spice is involved, please make my portion mild.

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saintslipsarchive · 4 years ago

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ＢＡＳＩＣＳ．

name. rosalie, but there’s a lot of nicknames derived from that : rosie, rose, ro, etc ! i also used to go by dany, & a lot of people still choose to call me that. i don’t mind either way ! pronouns. she / her, pls ! zodiac sign. taurus sun, sagittarius moon, cancer rising. taken or single. taken ! i love my boyfriend so, so dearly, he’s really the best person in my life.

ＴＨＲＥＥＦＡＣＴＳ .

01. i’ve been mooching off of an old friend’s steam for three years. just within the past few moments someone finally gifted it to me !! LET’S MAKE IC FARMS TOGETHER BAYBEE 02. i started roleplaying by having a one direction diary blog called ‘thoughtsofeleanorcalder’ (i don’t have the url anymore so whoever has it now godspeed) which was basically just a group of other people and i writing fake crack diary entries. a friend asked me to join them in a roleplay group, and it died pretty quickly but after that we made independent disney blogs, where i roleplayed ariel & she roleplayed belle ! eventually i met my friend nala (who is still one of my dearest friends) and joined the group she was in call creativedisneyroleplay (cdrp) as melody, ariel’s daughter. i met my other best friend, sara, and we’re still bffs to this day. i eventually left cdrp and went indie in the disney fandom, roleplayed anna, and eventually moved to pokemon roleplay. from there, i roleplayed fire emblem, and then to here ! 03. i started drawing only so i could draw miss serena & serena adjacent ships so if you ship with me know i WILL draw our muses.

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platforms used. only tumblr, really ! i also roleplay on discord, but that’s after tumblr. i’ve also used skype with close friends, but otherwise, i’ve only ever used tumblr as a platform. if there are any other platforms though ... i’m listening.

ＭＵＳＥＰＲＥＦＥＲＥＮＣＥ．

gender. female ! i just don’t tend to connect with male characters for some reason ? like, i do, but not enough to really write them. that being said, i can write my own male ocs ? like i can write serena’s brother august, but i can’t tend to write male canon characters, no matter how obsessed with them i am. least favourite faces. i really don’t have any ? for me personally, i feel like using certain actors doesn’t really ... matter ? ur not paying them for using their face or anything, or really supporting them in any way, so... that’s just how i feel about it ! i also come from the animated side of rp, so faceclaim drama is like, super new to me. multi or single. i love both ! i think i might make a multi for muses that i’m not as ... obsessed with, like serena could never be on a multi - muse because she’d simply take over. but i’ve written a fire emblem multi for a very short time, & it was fun ! so it’s all about the muses.

ＦＬＵＦＦ / ＡＮＧＳＴ / ＳＭＵＴ．

fluff. FLUFF IS GREAT but only, honestly, when plotted with someone special to serena ... she’s a very friendly / touchy person so fluff is quite easy to do, but i need it to be with a mun i can scream about how sweet they’re being with -- otherwise it feels a bit ... stiff ? angst. just fuck me up fam, serena has so much angst inside of her that i NEVER get to really explore, from the fact that she was & is & has been experimented on like a toy, possessed, she’s dead & immortal ! but naturally i don’t want to spring that on anyone suddenly, so while i want to write angst, it’s difficult. smut. love writing smut. i have to be in a specific mood so i don’t always write it as quickly as i should, but i’m a huge fan ! plot / memes. plotting makes it easier to write memes for me, personally, because i never want to step on someone else’s toes -- unless we talk ooc, in which case i’ll do whatever i feel is right for our muses bc i know you & your boundaries well, & feel more comfortable writing from serena’s true feelings. ultimately it’s about mun chemistry more than anything ! so i don’t mind memes, but plotting is easiest for other things.

TAGGED BY. stolen from baevie @irnmaidn !! TAGGING. if you wanna do this, say i tagged u bc i’d love to read ur answers !!

#ooc.#i love filling things out. pls give me more surveys n such LMAO #im gonna play sdv now and probably make a verse for it bc its PURE

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insane-lj · 5 years ago

Note

What happened between you and agent?

As I keep getting asks about this I shall say this all in one go. You see, dear anon, friendships just don’t last forever. When I met Agent, I was pretty young and going through a very tough time in my home life. I was losing friends in school, I was in a toxic relationship and I was very immature. I met Agent in those tough times and began to be a shitty person in a way. I would have constant break downs and would crave support since my family would never give me the support I needed. My father was out of my life, my grandmother kept manipulating me and my mother would always claim that I have nothing to be upset over. I felt alone so when I get upset, I tend to bottle things up then explode. I would always explode on Agent and crave comfort. She would be my shoulder to cry on and would be the mature person I look up to. As home got more difficult, I would be on her more. She would always claim it was fine, that I was fine and I felt as if everything was fine but that wasn’t the case. As time went by, I thought everything was well. I thought she was well and I thought we were well. I got older so I matured a bit more but of course, I would still have break downs. I never had a therapist so my friends would become my therapist without me realizing it or wanting it. I also became slightly controlling over silly things with her for no reason. I never understood where that jealousy came from but I always thought the reason on why I would become so controlling over ships was because I was terrified of being replaced. Insecurities can become toxic. I soon went into a new fandom on Instagram. I got invested in it and because of my short attention span with my ADHD, I grew bored of Tumblr. Agent stopped replying to our RP’s in our DM’s so I just went to Instagram. I met this group of toxic people and got hurt badly. I was attacked randomly and went running to Agent since I was scared. After everything settled, I met a guy whom I began to date. My attention went to him. My attention went to Instagram, TikTok, and to school. I began to branch off to new things and after meeting with him, I saw that a lot of my traits were toxic. Even though my experiences with others and my talks with Agent bettered me, I was still in a toxic place. He helped me and everything seemed fine. Suddenly, Agent posted an ask off Instagram stating she grew tired of me ignoring her. Suddenly, Agent left Discord servers and chats. Suddenly, Agent unadded me on Tumblr, blocked messaging, removed me from Instagram then blocked me on Twitter. I thought Agent was playing around with the Instagram post so, I messaged her. Nothing. The next day begun the leaving of chats and servers. I grew worried. Then later began to blocking, I got pissed. I lashed out in DM’s, demanding to know what’s wrong and that I love her and yeah, I was a bit...extreme but she wasn’t answering. Suddenly, she sends me a screenshot of her vents about me. I found out that she was miserable with me. I decided to reply in a civil manner. I saw my mistakes, I told her that she was blaming me for a few things I had no control over and that of course, she should’ve opened up to me about her true feelings since the beginning. I asked her if she wants to talk things out or if she wishes to just end the friendship. She took a while to reply only for her to just state, “Ight I’m done.” or something along those lines. She then blocked me before I could thank her for finally opening up to me and to give her an apology. I made mistakes within our friendship which is why she ended the friendship. It pains me a lot to know this since she was my best friend for years but hey, if she’s happier without me then I’m happy. Now, please know that I hold no hard feelings towards Agent. I love her and even now, I cry over the fact that I fucked up badly. I lost a good friend and I miss her. I wish I could go back in time and fix my mistakes because she was the best thing to ever happen to me. Even now, if she were to come back I would welcome her with open arms. But, I lost her. I can’t fix that no matter how much I want to. Shit man, I don’t even know what to do with my OC’s anymore. I went and messaged her to see what does she wants to do with our ships since many people know of them but I got no reply. I don’t even know about the ship children! So, I don’t know what she has for the fate of Loki x Sprinkle, Z x Kazi (and their kids), Eyeless x anybody or even Slender!Gaster x Red! Those were our popular bunch so I don’t know what to tell you. Anyway, that’s what happened between us. Anymore questions?

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youeggbastard · 4 years ago

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Oc Questionnaire (Again)

Now it’s Jens turn.

Once Again thank you so much @jessaryss for this awesome template you’re the bees knees! ❤❤❤

Iphigenia

BASICS

Name: Iphigenia ( Iph·i·ge·nia )but better known as just Jen very few people are allowed to know her full name

Race: Imperial

Age: 25

Pronouns: She/Her

Eyes: Blue

Hair: Black

Skin: Pale... she needs to tan more

Height: 5′6

Weight: 143

General Physique: A little more on the curvy side

Tattoos, WarPaints & Scars? None yet but I’m still working on character design

ABOUT

Dragonborn: YES / NO

Werewolf/Bear or Vampire? None

Occupation: Best described as a spell sword for hire, but really she’s just a wandering necromancer for hire.

Guild Association(s): Used to be a Vigilant of Stendarr, it didn’t end well though.

Favoured Weapon Class / Type: Duel Wielding One handed, primarily only bound swords.

Favoured School of Magic / Type: It’s a tie between Destruction and Conjuration.

Heavy Armor? Light Armor? Robes? Robes

Place of Birth: Cyrodiil

Place Where They Were Raised: Same place up until she was 12 years old, then she came to Skyrim.

Current Location: Skyrim

Education / Place of Study: No formal education really, her father and his “friends” cult taught her conjuration, or more specifically necromancy, and then when she joined the Vigilants she learned a great deal of restoration magic as well as some destruction. The rest she’s taught herself, so no doubt her magic style would make classically trained mages cringe.

Any Teachers / Inspirations? Pretty much all her teachers and inspirations have let her down in one way or another.

PERSONAL

Patron Deity (if any): Used to be Stendarr until he abandoned her, now she doesn’t associate herself with gods.

Political Alliance (if any): Despite being Imperial Jen doesn’t have any loyalty to the Empire and she does sympathize with the Stormcloaks cause, but it’s kind of hard to fully sympathize with them when they hate her. So, her political alliance is closer to the common people, the ones who are actually suffering from the war.

Strongest Skills: She’s deadly with destruction magic, mainly lighting and she has always had a knack for Necromancy though that’s more of a curse than a blessing.

Strengths: Clever, strategist, She can be downright ruthless in battle, fearless, stubborn, will continue fighting until the end.

Weaknesses: Her fearlessness often leads to recklessness, doesn’t really have survival skills, more often than not her emotions control her rather than vice versa.

Spouses? Flings? Lovers? Jen is pretty sex positive, she’s had a couple of flings here and there but only with people she actually trusts, so friends with benefit situations mostly, she’s not one to have a one night stand or hatefuck, but she’s always kept them at arms lengths and the minute feelings start she scatters. In her entire life she’s only be in love twice, once with her partner in the Vigilants who ended up betraying her and she ended up killing him, and then with Kaidan who she eventually marries.

Thaneship (and of where?) Whiterun, Riften, and somehow Morthal though she’s not entirely sure how she became Thane of any of those holds.

Most Difficult Quest They’ve Been On? Pretty much any of the quests from the Vigilant Mod, the one where she had to fight Lamae fucked her up emotionally.

Jail Time? No she’s too streetwise.

Largest Bounty Held? The vigilants have a pretty large bounty on her head, but I don’t think that counts.

How Much Gold Are They Typically Carrying? Anywhere from 2 to 20000 Septims

How Do They Get Gold? Primarily through necromancy jobs, a lot of people will hire her for help getting rids of spirits, ghosts, etc... But Jen isn’t good at charging or saying no to people in need, so most of her income comes from overcharging rich people and jarls.

Are Werebeings and Vampires Vile Creatures or Simply Misunderstood? If you asked her this a couple of years ago she would have said, yes they are vile and need to be eradicated. Now that she’s no longer a vigilant and not under the influence of them she has a different opinion. Now she realizes the line between man and monster is a lot more blurred, now she sees herself more as the monster after all she’s done in the name of Justice.

Do They Actively Hunt Dragons? Not really, they hunt her more often than not.

Goals In Life? Help as many people as she can and hopefully do some good for once.

Deepest Regret? Killing innocent people under the guise of Stendarr’s mercy, and not being able to save Altano before it was too late.

Greatest Hope? She would never say this but she desperately wants a family. She craves the unconditional love that she has searched for all her life and was instead betrayed and her love used against her.

Most Embarrassing Moment: She has screamed more than once encountering spiders.

Flaws: Stubborn, hot headed, unforgiving, judgmental, isn’t very good at controlling her emotions which isn’t exactly good thing for a mage or a dragonborn, proud.

Fears: Spiders and all other kinds of creepy crawlers especially things with more than two legs, betrayal, the dead (especially the ones that haunt her nightmares).

What Makes Them Happy? Flowers, the stars, the quiet nights, helping others, her friends, baths.

Hobbies: She’s actually an avid horseback rider, if her life had been normal she probably would have owned a stables, collecting flowers and creating new spells as well.

Favorite Locations: She loves Riverwood and the area surrounding it, it helps that the people of Riverwood actually like her.

Favorite Holds: Falkreath

Eating Habits? She’s not very picky.

Can They Cook? She can, though she doesn’t have much time to make gourmet meals, so she really just cooks enough to get by.

Favorite Food: She loves tomato soup, it reminds her of her childhood, before her parents went crazy.

Favorite Drink: Wine

First Thing They Do At A Tavern? Take a bath

Sleeping Habits? Very sporadic, sometimes she won’t get sleep for days, other times she will sleep 12 hours at a time. God help anyone that tries to wake her up, she’s a graceful riser.

Cities or the wilds? Both, she likes people watching and being near civilization, but she also loves the outdoors, being under the night sky, fields of flowers etc.

Pet Peeves? Being talked over, being bossed around (specifically by men)rich people just fucking existing.

Describe Their Bedroom or Home There would also be fresh flowers in a vase, as well as lavender hanging from the roof. It would be very clean, unless she’s working of magic study of a new spell than it’s a complete mess.

How Would A Stranger Describe This Person? She’s got a bad case of Resting Bitch face, comes across as very cold and distant, just an unfeeling bitch.

Someone Close To Them? The opposite of that. She cares so much for her friends and will go to the ends of the Earth for them, it’s that quality that has gotten her in a lot of trouble. She helps whoever she can and has the worst case of bleeding heart syndrome. .

How Do They Deal With Anger? Jen is a hot head, and when she does get angry she can be cruel and unrelenting. But luckily her anger fizzles out pretty quickly especially if she knows she wrong, so she will apologize and make things right if it’s someone she loves. But if you’re in the wrong, it’s gonna be hard to get her forgiveness back.

How Do They Deal With Failure? She can take it hard, she’ll probably get moody and lash out, but deep down knows she’s really just angry with herself, eventually she cols off and learns from her mistakes and swears to not make them again.

How Do They Deal With Loss of a friend or someone close? Jen’s friends are everything to her so losing them would wreck her, she wouldn’t be able to sleep or eat, or probably even let them go that easily, she would storm the gods if it meant saving someone she loved

Go Into The Bandit Filled Cave To Retrieve The Lost Amulet For Some Simpleton, or Tell Them Nah Bye? Depends is it someone desperate and downtrodden who couldn’t do it themselves? Yes. Someone entirely capable of doing it themselves? probably not then, but all you really need to do is make up a sob story to appeal to her bleeding heart.

Opinions on Daedra? She isn’t a vigilant anymore but she still knows Daedra are always a bad idea and would probably never side with them or trust them. Molag Bal though, she would storm Coldharbour just to kill him, she would find a way to kill daedra just to kill him.

Companions / Followers

First Follower: Gorr (3DNPC)

Have They Stuck Around? Not really, they had a bit of a fling and Jen scattered.

Something The Look For In A Follower (or do they hire anyone without question?) Someone who she trusts and won’t get annoyed by her gentle mothering as well as her need to save everyone and everything. But really trust is a huge thing, she would die for her friends so she needs someone who won’t betray that trust.

Followers Over The Years (or whatever amount of time): In This order

Gorr (3DNPC) (2 Months)

Mercutio (1 Month)

Mjoll the Lioness (5 Months)

Kaidan (Still Present)

Auri (Still Present)

Serana (Still Present)

Lucien (Still Present)

Funny enough the first three were people she’s had flings with who she ended up leaving once feelings got in the way. I mean Kai is also part of that group, but she actually stayed for him, obviously.

Fourth Wall

Any Must Have Mods To Play This Character? Vigilant, Apocalypse, and then all the followers mods mentioned above.

Random Screenshot / Drawing: See Way Above

Level? 34 as of right now

Serious RP or Thomas The Tank Engine Dragons, Fart Shouts, and Kawaii Cat Girl Mods? Serious so far, but I’ve only had one gameplay of her and I’m still working on it there might be some tank engine dragons in her future who knows.

#Idk if anyone would notice from the drawing but I've changed her appearance a bit #Just a bit nothing drastic #I thought about giving her tattoos but like then that means I have to draw them #and I'm lazy so....#egg tries to draw #my art #my oc #oc: iphigenia #skyrim oc

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