#he wants to hate the nice things stede gives him but he also wants to own them to prove he is just as good as the rich fucks

[aithusarosekiller]

An Extensive List Of Ouizzy Hcs

Frenchie is a cuddler. If he gets the opportunity to latch on like a koala you know damn well that he will do it. This is often paired with soft kisses to wherever is closest to his face. He and Izzy were initially very casual with very little intimacy, until one day Frenchie just decided to cuddle up and Izzy had the realisation of 'oh shit, this is actually really nice'

Izzy's response to the first 'I love you' was a very panicked 'fuck off' until he remembered how similarly Ed had responded to his confession and freaked the fuck out because he didn't want Frenchie to feel that way. He was too emotionally constipated to apologise so he just left the room. It took two days for him to approach Frenchie and manage an apology, which was accepted a lot quicker than he anticipated.

Frenchie is so proud that he managed to pull the Izzy Hands and will not fail to mention it to EVERYBODY he comes across. He is very much the 'Well, yesterday, my husband said...' 'According to Iz- that's my boyfriend btw-' 'hey, this is Izzy, he's my beautiful boyfriend' 'I'm so lucky to have a husband like Iz' 'I have a partner too, his name is Izzy and-' 'sorry, I've got a date with my darling Izzy today' type of partner

Frenchie smiles in his sleep. It's adorable.

Jim is their no.1 supporter. They gave Frenchie the shovel talk, which he genuinely did not see coming. They think their relationship is 'cute', which made Izzy particularly grumpy and reluctant to talk to them for a week.

Izzy is a sub

Izzy always falls asleep first but he's a super light sleeper so Frenchie is careful to not move or even breathe too loud because he is terrified of waking him

Stede knew they were dating before Izzy did

Izzy will usually shut down Frenchie's superstitious theories but will occasionally indulge him if he's particularly adamant and it won't cause any harm bc at least it makes Frenchie happy to be believed.

The room they choose to hide Izzy in when he gets shot is the room the two of them had been secretly meeting up in for several weeks before the canon s2 timeline picks up. Frenchie just panicked and took him right there, having to come up with an excuse to give to Archie when she asked why he wanted to drag Izzy behind a dusty shelf.

Frenchie gives neck hugs, Izzy goes for the arms around the waist + face in shoulder hug. Occasionally Izzy will come up and hug him from behind but he finds it more intimate for some inexplicable reason so he rarely does it, especially in the company of others.

They can't go anywhere without walking into some big, scary guy Izzy once hooked up with. But Frenchie quickly grew to not mind because out of all of them, Iz still chose to stick the superstitious barely-pirate with no survival skills whatsoever so are any of them really that cool after all?

Lucius takes every opportunity to tease Izzy about their relationship. He will not stop until he gets a satisfying reaction. Or until he gets bored enough to make up an excuse for leaving...

Frenchie is a biter. No further information.

They don't usually do anniversaries but they DO frequently pretend that it's their anniversary when they want to get out of doing something for somebody else

In S1E4, Frenchie is the one that left the prosthetic at Izzy's door. He's also the one that told Lucius what to put on the note.

Izzy sometimes sings when he's really focused on something but he'll deny it to the end of time. Frenchie hears sometimes and just quietly listens. He'll switch between languages when he sings depending on his mood and Frenchie loses all human cognitive abilities when he brings out the French.

One day, Frenchie 'adopts' a rat he found onboard and calls it Maddy, Izzy hates it but still manages to convince Roach not to skin it and feed it to a seagull, all bc it made Frenchie happy. Ofc if you asked him, he'd say he had nothing to do with the thing being kept.

Frenchie manages to somehow slip the word 'babe' into every conversation

Izzy's a hand kisser. Especially the palms.

They both go to Wee John when they're stressing about gifts or smth and it gets to a point where he knows more about their relationship than they do

Izzy accidentally let the words 'my love' slip ONCE and is not allowed to forget it

There is nothing Frenchie wouldn't do to hear that man laugh. He'll do absolutely anything just to see him smile or laugh, which initially proves to be quite difficult.

They are girl dads idec

Izzy occasionally smokes, and it's one of the key ways Frenchie can tell if he is in pain or stressed out

They make bets about everyone else on the ship constantly. About almost anything.

Izzy tried to teach Frenchie how to read but his reading skills are relatively limited so it really didn't go well. They end up going to Ed for help because Izzy banned him from asking Lucius.

Frenchie knows a lot about flowers. He never says how but he'll go on about them for ages. Izzy secretly gives it endearing.

The black jacket Frenchie wears in s2 was given to him by Izzy. He made some adjustments and added the cat to the back and then started to wear it constantly; he quite liked wearing it because it felt like a comforting layer of protection and familiarity from the horrors around them

[maximwtf]

Request for izzy hands x reader where they were like together while in the navy. They kept their relationship hidden ofc and liked to take risks by giving pda when no one was looking. To keep up appearances with the others, they act like they hate each other. This gets extremely hard for Izzy after reader gets shot in the leg

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 3500

Google doc pages: 5,1

Warnings: mentions of smoking and drinking, mentions of blood

Opening: Izzy has asked you to tone down the displays of affection whenever there were other crew members around. This went on for a long time, mostly unnoticed until you got stabbed, and keeping the secret becomes a little too difficult. 

AN// Reader can be any gender! I put these two requests together since I thought they were pretty similar, and changed the shooting to a stabbing, since I didn’t want to make this too angsty (But yall know I live for a bit of drama, always!) I’m also making this a little longer than normally for the sake of there being 2 requests!

“Prove it.”

Ever since you joined the crew, you’d been drawn to Izzy. There was something about him that you liked, even though he seemed to distance himself from the crew quite often. You supposed that had been what caught your eye in the first place, seeing him just watch the others if they were doing something other than working. And you’d only noticed that because you found yourself doing the exact same most of the time. So after observing him for some time, you’d begun to talk to the snappish first mate from time to time. At first he seemed like he’d rather be talking to the seagulls than you, but bothering him long enough proved to be the right thing to do, since he’d started to warm up slowly. Soon he’d even complain to you, which was the most common thing you started hearing from him. By the way he described his job on the ship, it sounded like he saw the rest of the crew as morons. Had he thought of you in the same way and avoided talking to you because of that? Was a common thought you tried not to think of, since at the end of the day, Izzy was quite nice to be around. He’d sometimes share cigarettes with you, and on a good day share a bottle of rum. But even then, after getting this far he still seemed like he was pushing you away. Like his focus was elsewhere, or on someone else. But you tried to put it off as him just being the first mate and having to do a lot of Blackbeard’s work, so he didn’t have time for making buddies. 

When Stede had come along, Izzy started to change. His attitude changed, like his mind had changed course. You didn’t know if it had something to do with Blackbeard and Stede, since you weren’t much educated on their previous relationship. Though, as time passed you started to notice him talking to you a little more than usual. More than usual in this case meaning the normal amount, since the man had practically stopped talking to you when Stede had come along. Like he’d been busy doing something else. So it seemed as if his mind had changed on something. Though, you didn’t mind. You’d started to like him, quite a long time ago actually but it had taken you more time than necessary to admit that to yourself. But by now it was clear in your mind, but you kept telling yourself that there was no point in confessing to him as he hadn’t ever shown any signs of caring for you in that way. In your mind, he saw you as a good drinking buddy at best. 

So you said nothing about it for a while, only talked to him like you had always done. Only, sometimes it seemed like Izzy was awkwardly trying to hit on you. You only noticed this because of the bad, but notably sweet, his attempts were. Like the shield that the title of first mate had given him was preventing him from actually opening up to you. Because of this, you took it upon yourself to try and figure this mess out. You liked him, but didn’t dare to tell him because of the mixed signals written all across the poor man. 

Yet another night, and yet another trip you were making to check if Izzy had  taken the night shift and was on the main deck. It had become somewhat of a habit to meet him there, just like the other habits you had together. You never thought of how much you’d started spending time with him. But like almost always, the owl of a man was there. He had a cigarette between his fingers, almost burnt out. Due to the dark you couldn’t quite tell much, but he seemed to be leaning against a mast. As much as he mocked the crew for being totally useless, idiots and so on, he was definitely not being the best look-out there was. Could he even see what was going on at the front? You shrugged, amused by the first mate’s antics. “We got a proper look-out here!” You said, loud enough for him to hear in the slight wind and through the sound of the waves gently splashing against the hull of the ship. Izzy lowered the cigarette, turning to look at you. The man didn’t seem frightened, far from it. Like he’d known you’d come eventually, just as you had. “Sod off, I’m on a break.” He said, a slight hint of amusement in his tone. As you got closer you found out why. His breath smelled of rum, a familiar smell that stuck all around the ship no matter how much it was cleaned. “Tell that to the next crew that attacks us.” You hummed, offering out a hand as a sign to ask for the cigarette. And like it was automatic, he handed it to you without even giving a look your way. “Like they’d even see us in this fog.” Izzy replied, leaning back against the mast. You stood next to him, taking a drag from the cigarette. You hadn’t even noticed the fog, a little embarrassed by your earlier comment now, you didn’t say anything for a moment. Using the smoke as a way to make the silence from your end more acceptable. “You know, Stede’s men really hit an all time low today. Truly bottom of the barrel kind of crew, I mean-” He started, as always when the perfect silence gave the opportunity. You handed the rest of the cigarette back to him, walking up to the railing and peering down at the water. Knowing him the man could go on about this for hours if you let him, and as much as you liked talking to him the complaining got a little tiring after some time. “They didn’t listen?” You asked, keeping your gaze on the murky water. “Of course fuckin’ not.” He groaned, the sound of his boots hitting the deck indicating that he was following after you. Izzy leaned his weight on his arms after placing his hands on the wooden railing. You chuckled at his comment, clear annoyance in his voice. “Have you tried not yelling at them?” You smirked, knowing it would set him off. “Quite clear that’s what Eddie wants.” Izzy shook his head after saying that, messing up the combed back hair ever so slightly. A few strands of hair falling over his eyes, which he tried to push back. His reply had been calmer than you would’ve expected, making you turn your eyes to him. “Are you okay?” You asked, gaining an instant groan from him. “Oh, fuck off with that.” He pushed away from the railing. You knew he wasn’t one to talk about feelings, even if he’d taken a little bit of rum to his system. “Quite clear yer upset about somethin’?” You asked basically the same thing again, worded differently to maybe trick him. You weren’t sure if that had actually worked, or if he’d just given up trying to shoo you away, but this time he answered. “It’s that fucking Stede Bonnet.” Of course, you probably should have guessed in all honesty. You weren’t even going to ask what he thought was wrong with the man. Listening to him rant about Stede and his crew had been enough information on that topic. “Is it him and Eddie?” You asked carefully, almost like poking a wasp nest. “Sure. But I don’t care about that anymore.” He replied, pushing away from the topic yet again. “Then prove it. To me it seems an awful lot like you still care.” You tilted your head, leaning away from the railing. Izzy’s mouth opened slightly, brows furrowing a little. Overall he seemed confused as to how he was meant to do to prove it.

You took a deep breath, this was the moment and you weren’t sure if there’d ever come another. “Kiss me?” You said rather openly, stepping closer to the man. If he’d looked confused before, he looked so even more now. Though he didn’t step away from you either, not even when you pulled him towards you. So you took that as a yes, and kissed him. A very short kiss, but you could have sworn he’s kissed you back.

Izzy pulled away first, seemingly at a loss for words but you understood why. The man seemingly hadn’t had any sort of actually loving physical affection in decades. So you saw it best to make your leave, not forgetting to trail your hand on his shoulder as you walked past the shaken man. You gave him space to think. His eyes followed you keenly as you walked away, up until your form disappeared into the faint light of the lower decks.

The days that followed, not a mention of the kiss was said. You told yourself that Izzy acted a little differently around you, but you began to doubt that when he hadn’t made any moves on you. Thought that maybe you were just imagining things. You kept telling yourself that up until one evening when Izzy had invited you to have a drink with him, as he sometimes did when he didn’t feel like drinking alone but wasn’t going to tell you that. So you joined him. 

He had a specific spot near the galley where he liked to sit and spend time. A spot where there weren’t many people around since there weren’t many places to sit. A perfect place for him to drink but also to observe what the people walking by were doing. 

He opened a bottle, taking a swig from it before handing it to you. You listened to him talk most of the time, not bothering to stop him when he spotted someone from the Revenge’s crew and started listing all the reasons why he thought they were useless. Better let him rant to you than make him go all out on the men, since he wasn’t annoyed with you just looking to tell someone.

And so the night went on, a couple bottles down and a half empty one on the small table. He had a better head for alcohol than you did, but neither of you were sober. Your attention was brought back to him fully when you heard the man start talking about the kiss you’d shared. “Tell me, why’d you do it, kiss me?” You bit your inner lip. You might have been buzzed, but it sounded like he’d thought about this for a while. He just hadn’t dared to ask. “What do you mean?” You asked, tone a little more playful than you had intended but to be fair with yourself, you’d wanted to discuss it with him for some time now. “Did you do it only to see if I was lying?” He asked, a hint of worry now in his voice. It worried you, just a little. Did he think you’d done it on a whim, that you didn’t actually care? You took a moment to collect yourself before speaking again. “Partly, yes.” The sound of hesitation in your voice was clear and you knew he wasn’t one to miss out on it. Though to that he didn’t say anything, giving you time to explain further. “And maybe I just wanted to kiss you.” Your gaze wandered away from him on its own. Yet another silence followed. You could feel his eyes on you, but you didn’t dare to look at him, not wanting to start guessing what he was thinking. “Prove it.” Izzy said, the words just slightly slurred but you understood him loud and clear. “What.” Your gaze rose back up, convinced you’d just imagined him speaking. But he knew you’d heard him, so he didn’t repeat himself. 

The silence he was giving you was unbearable, and the only way to escape this situation was laid in front of you. So you leaned in, kissed him again to prove something, just like the first time. Only, this time you were sure he’d kissed you back. You were about to lean in further, but the sound of someone walking towards the galley made the first mate pull away. his eyes scanned the area of the noise and watched as Roach came by but seemingly didn’t notice the two of you. “Right-” You wobbled slightly as you tried to get up, the waves moving the ship just enough to make you stumble back on your ass. “Suppose it’s about time to sleep…” You mumble while trying to get back on your feet for the second time. Izzy watched the desperate attempts you made to get towards the crew’s sleeping quarters. He watched until he was convinced you weren’t going to make it. “Come on…” He said rather silently as he hooked an arm around yours, hoisting you up a little and with some wobbly steps made his way to his quarters, leading you along. 

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. You came to again when the noises from outside the small room were becoming a little too loud to be able to sleep anymore. With a long breath your eyes opened, having to take a second to recognise where you were. The slight snore from next to you returned a faint memory of Izzy helping you here, but from the sound of it he was thankfully still asleep. 

You wiggled to the edge of the bed and sat up, brushing the loose strands of hair back. While sliding your shoes back on, Izzy turned around on the bed and by the sound of it he was awake. That also meant he must have heard the noises outside, and if anyone saw you leave his cabin at this hour when neither of you hadn’t been seen earlier, it would raise suspicion. “Go after me.” Came from him before the first mate got up and located his belongings on the floor. He suited up, placing his cutlass on his belt and dusted his clothes. You wanted to ask him about the previous night, but now you felt like the one who didn’t dare to do so. 

So instead you waited until he left, heard him command the crew as he always did and soon the noises got further away. He must have gotten something to do for everyone so you could sneak out without anyone seeing. You pushed the door open, and without a second look stepped out. Which you shouldn’t have, since a gasp rang into your ear, and the form of Lucius hit your gaze. You took a couple of fast steps up to the man and covered his mouth. Not only would he alert someone to come down but if Izzy found out someone had seen you, you assumed he’d be upset. He was exactly the kind of person to think he’d lose respect from the crew if they found anything out. “I knew it!” Lucius spoke against your palm before you could remove it. “Shut up!” You hissed, keeping him against the wall you’d pinned him at before realising that Izzy must have gone with the rest of the crew. You should have probably realised Lucius would have been here, he was the type of person to find ways to avoid Izzy’s commands. “You don’t tell anyone, okay?” You said to the man, voice serious enough to make him nod. “I don’t know if I have to, if you’re going to be this open about it.” The man said as you let him go. Your eyes followed him for a while before you were comfortable enough to move again. That had started well. 

So there began the complicated part of this relationship. Izzy had asked you later that day to keep any physical touches to a minimum when there were crew members around, which you had expected. And it wasn’t all that hard either. You could easily blend any kisses or hand holdings to the usual routines that the two of you had formed, but some days you liked to mess with him. Not enough to stress him out, but enough to give him a little scare. You were rather glad Lucius had seen you from the start, since now he was the only one you could talk to about Izzy. And he undoubtedly was usually the one to suggest you try to openly hug or kiss the first mate. Though, usually you were met with an, “Sod off…” or the common “fuck off”, which you found rather amusing. Sometimes he would pretty harshly shoo you away, and treat you with the same respect he used for Stede's crew, if someone was around. You had to admit it hurt sometimes, but seeing him every night healed those cracks.

You and Lucius were sitting together one night. You’d planned to tell Izzy today that the other man knew, but you couldn’t just tell him that. You wanted to show him. So you waited for the first mate to walk past, as he usually did before going to rest. It took him a little longer than usual, but he arrived eventually. Lucius stayed away, close but hidden enough that he wasn’t easily seen unless someone was purposely looking for him. 

You stood up and walked up to the first mate, with a quick look making sure that Lucius got a little close, now visible. “Have a drink with me?” You suggested, leaning to kiss him. Which he was about to respond to, before Lucius caught his eye. He took a firm hold of your shoulders, pushing you away gently. “Oo, Izzy!” Lucius smirked and you could almost feel the blood boiling in the man in front of you. “Oh, fuck off Lucius.” He murmured, accepting the fact that someone had seen him. Though, the laugh that followed surprised the annoyed man. “Izzy, he knows. Has known. I just thought you should know.” You smiled, trying to wipe the grin off your face before giving him a quick kiss as an apology for the joke. “I saw them exit your room in the morning.” Lucius hummed, amused as he left. 

So for long this secret was only shared with the three of you. You weren’t actually that certain of the fact that Lucius hadn’t told anyone. He’d told you many times how bad he was at keeping secrets. But so far no one had questioned you or Izzy. Not until the day it all became rather public. 

You got into a little accident, to say. You’d gotten into a little tussle, a tight spot with someone from another crew. You’d survived but they’d struck you in the shoulder with a knife before you were able to get the upper hand in the fight. You thought you’d just pour some rum on the wound and wrap it up for it to hopefully heal, but you hadn’t had the time to do that. As everyone had made it back on the Revenge, Izzy came looking for you. Not actively or in a way someone would notice, but his gaze was bouncing around trying to spot you. As soon as he did and noticed the red spot spreading from your shoulder it didn’t take the man longer than a few seconds to be by your side. He rather openly hoisted you up, noticing the slump you had eased into to escape the stinging pain. The man’s knife must have been fucked and rusted for the wound to hurt this badly. “My God, what happened?” Izzy asked, voice a little shaken as he sat down with you leaned against him. “Let me take a look at it.” The man said before you were even able to reply. “Come on now, help me a little.” He added while trying to lower the fabric around your shoulder to see the damage. You looked up at Izzy, a rather amused expression on your face even though any movement from your shoulder sent waves of pain all around your body. Izzy furrowed his brows at this, his gaze rising up from you, allowing him to see the crew looking at him. His eyes widened. “H-How did you manage to get stabbed! You- moron, I mean-” Was his desperate attempt to save his face. “I knew it!” Came from the crew, and you could have sworn that through all the noise you heard the relieved sigh of Lucius’, not having to keep the secret anymore. 

Later that night, laying against Izzy as he treated the wound, you couldn’t miss the extra rum he was pouring on it, the action almost feeling like a revenge for the earlier events. You groaned at that, curling up a little. “Fuck you.” You chuckled, gritting your teeth as you saw him look away, seemingly innocent. 

AN// This was proof read at 3am after writing the whole thing, so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes :"D Requests for Izzy are open still <3

[pukner]

Baz | part two

a steddyhands twt thread turned oneshot

|| Rated Gen || Stede and Ed take a brief vacation to visit Stede's family, and find a surprise.

part one / part two

It's a small shack, nearly a cottage, nestled neatly by the edge of the jungle, where few wander. The path is clearly only walked by a few.

It's-- nice. Like a dream someone else might've had. It's certainly never occurred to Ed to dream of a place like this for himself-- small and unassuming, nothing particularly fine or exciting or remarkable about it.

There's a girl, with a riot of blond hair pulled back into a ponytail, going through various fighting drills in the garden. Dressed practically, sturdy boots and worn trousers. Her movements are as familiar to Ed as his own. Which makes sense, considering who taught Ed the finer points of using a sword.

There's a boy sitting by the porch, and next to him is a man, cane propped up next to him.

He looks good, is the thing. Less strain around the eyes. Older, thinner, less muscle tone. But there's something softer around his mouth. Something gentle about his eyes. He looks up at the exact moment the girl does.

His eyebrows fly up. Ed doesn't know what his face is doing.

"Dad!" say the kids as one, looking moderately pleased.

"Childr--wait, Izzy?" yells Stede, flabbergasted. Which is fair.

"Jesus Christ," says Iz, looking resigned, "Fucking Mary."

"You cursed again!" says Louis, delighted.

"And I won't stop," says Iz, flatly. Then, quietly, "Ed."

"Iz," says Ed.

"Did you know," Stede hisses, rounding on Ed.

"I figured it out the second she said he was a terrible gossip," Ed says, pitching his voice so it would carry.

Izzy's face loses that strange, sad cast and scowls, "I've never gossiped a day in my life, Edward Teach."

"But you do?" says Louis, innocently.

Yeah, like, all the time," says Alma, "with Miss Evelyn and mum, you guys get drunk and--"

"Alright," says Izzy, in the same tone as when the crew gets too uppity, "Why don't we head inside for some fucking drinks. Jesus."

He leans heavy on his cane as he walks. Ed watches him, wonders what human flesh tastes like. Stede looks at him, can clearly read the thought on his face, and pulls him along. The kids are told to stay outside. Grown-up talks, says Iz, and he sounds like a dad. It's hilarious.

It must be said, Ed's extremely fucking confused. He's never seen Iz like this; all unbuttoned and relaxed. No sword at his hip.

He pulls out a bottle of whiskey.

"It's barely noon," says Stede.

"I'm not having this conversation sober."

"You wanna talk?" says Ed, hopefully.

Iz levels him with an expression of supreme judgment. Ed's really missed his bitchy little face. He also realizes that Stede has a very similar bitchy little face. Is his type just bitchy little men? Is this why he broke up with Jack?

They end up at the table, day drinking.

"I'm not going back," Izzy says, firmly. He seems like a different man. Ed thinks his heart might be breaking. Some horrid, cruel part of him hates Izzy for getting better without him there.

Then, abruptly, he realizes that this is the exact same horrid feeling Iz had about Stede. Silence, again.

"The children seem to like you," Stede says, apropos of nothing.

"They're good kids. That Alma's going to be terrifying one day."

"I don't doubt it," says Stede, "I've heard good things about your beets, by the way."

Iz looks at Ed, baffled. Ed shrugs. Maybe Stede just really likes beets.

"We've been thinking about visiting the children more often," Stede goes on, in that weird airy tone of his, "More shore leaves."

"...we have?" says Ed.

"Yes, Edward," says Stede, pointedly. Ed doesn't give a rat's ass about the children. He nods anyway.

"...good for you?" says Iz, confused, "I don't care?"

Stede nudges Ed. Ed nudges him back. Stede stares at him.

Wait, oh. "Can we visit?" asks Ed.

"Why would you want to?" asks Iz, "You fucking hate being on land."

"I'd do it for you," Ed says.

Izzy blinks, startled. That hurts. He deserves it, though.

"Because you love me," he says, slowly.

"And I've unfortunately grown somewhat fond of you," Stede adds, in the manner of someone delivering some very bad news.

"What," says Izzy.

"My fault," says Ed.

"I don't feel murderous rage when I look at you anymore," Izzy informs Stede, "That's all you're getting."

"I'll take it," says Stede, looking determined.

Ed knows that look. Doggedly determined, this one. Iz is about to be wooed. No idea what he's just signed up for, poor guy.

Nothing's been solved, of course. Ed still tastes blood in his mouth, Izzy's never going to walk the same again, Stede still has very little idea of how deep this whole thing goes. But it's a start.

Outside, the kids are laughing. Iz has eased up, doesn't look so small.

"So," says Ed, grinning all shit-eating. Because they haven't solved it, and he'll never be his First Mate again, but Ed has permission to try. Which is a big improvement from Past Tense Iz, "Tell me about your beets, Iz."

"Shut the fuck up, Ed," says Iz, but he's grinning back.

They'll be fine. Or, they'll eventually be fine. They'll get there.

And, actually, someone should do something about the Mary-Jackie alliance. Can't let that go unsupervised. Imagine the fucking havoc they'd wreak.

End

[izzysillyhandsy]

Some Too many thoughts about episodes 4 and 5 and "Moving On"

This got wayyyy too long and rambly... but I had to write this down because it's been bugging me since last Thursday.

I have some issues with the last two episodes, episode 4 and 5, regarding, of course, my favourite character Izzy Hands and his relationship with Ed in particular.

Don't get me wrong - there was so much great stuff. I love Izzy finally being able show his feelings without having to pretend everything's alright - all it took was fucking things up so spectacularly that even Izzy didn't care what everyone thought of him. One could argue that the Kraken phase was necessary to "burn it all down" so to speak - Izzy and Ed needed this cathartic event to get out of their mutually harmful relationship.

But still... there is this underlying unfairness of it all, the disproportionate hate and aggression, the destruction of Izzy's whole life, sense of self and reality. What even are you?

Was this really necessary? Or, in other words, did Izzy have it coming? Did it serve him right?

And now that Izzy has decided to keep on living and has to deal with the trauma of being literally taken apart by the love of his life - is the only option available to him to completely distance himself from everything that happened (blow your brains out or move on)?

What happened in the first 3 episodes wasn't just Ed lashing out in anger, a payback for Izzy's betrayal. It wasn't just Ed going off the rails as a reaction to his most trusted friend pushing him towards violence at the lowest point of their lives. This wasn't "just" cutting a toe off in a moment of desperation and emotional breakdown.

No, Ed kept on going with destroying everyone and everything around him (and it was Ed, not whatever "Blackbeard" is supposed to be - Ed can clearly switch between the two and it is a concious decision to put on the Blackbeard mask to distance himself from his own cruelty).

And the person who he targeted almost exclusively was the person he was closest to, the person with obvious love for him (and of course Ed knows this), the person who kept falling apart before his very eyes and still tried to be there for him and, in his way, keep him safe.

I'm still not over the fact that Ed kept kicking Izzy who was already down, and just didn't stop until he was literally on his deathbed. And even then it wasn't over, there was one more act of cruelty left. Izzy killing himself felt natural and logical (and isn't that absolutely horrible?), almost a relief - "quick and clean" as Izzy'd put it.

Only the most ardent Izzy haters would still insist that Izzy deserved this (fucking hell, nobody deserves this, ever). Also, the show absolutely didn't frame it that way, Taika and Con (and the rest of the crew) didn't portray it that way - in my opinion, what Blackbeard did to Izzy was supposed to be seen as unforgivable (as opposed to other instances of casual violence depicted in the show).

So, as happy as I am with Izzy moving on to discover who he actually wants to be without Ed, episodes 4 and 5 left me confused and a bit frustrated. After all that happened in episodes 1 and 2, Ed can just go off be soft with Stede? He immediately comes back to the ship after being banished and gives the most half-arsed apology in history, then has fun showing off to everyone how nice he is now?

(Disclaimer: I love Ed, I love all the Ed/Stede scenes, that's not the point)

Where are the fucking consequences, show? That can't be it surely? Ed almost gets rewarded for just being Ed - contrast this with how the narrative (and parts of the fandom) kept on punishing and condemning poor Izzy for much, much lesser transgressions.

And it's apparently got to Izzy too, because now he blames himself as well:

Don't know what you're talkin' about. A shark did this. Dangling my legs over the side of the ship. Served me right, too.

NO IT DIDN'T, IZ. You thought you knew this man.

It actually makes sense that he'd see it this way, though.

Izzy's last conversations with Ed were his "I have love for you" (Come on) and Ed's "I dreamt that you killed me" (It was good for me - It wasn't even like that) where Izzy realized that nothing is/was as he thought it was.

Up to the end of S1, I believe this is what Izzy's whole life was built on:

a. Ed and Izzy are a team, captain and first mate, relying on one another. They've been together for a lifetime, they love and care for each other - not in so many words, not romantically (at least not for the last years or so, if ever) - but Izzy knows he would do anything for Ed (and I'm sure he has, many times), and Ed would probably do anything for Izzy (I'm not sure if Izzy's belief here is based on concrete events in the past, but I very much hope so).

b. It is Izzy's job to see that Ed is content and, above all, safe. Ed wouldn't trust anyone else with this.

c. Izzy talking back and challenging Ed's decisions is not only tolerated but expected.

d. They trust each other above everyone else, they know each other better than anyone has ever known them, noone can really come between them.

Now, it seems like:

a. Ed has/had no use for Izzy's love and concern.

b. Izzy has failed his job, and noone else could have failed as spectacularly.

c. it is Izzy's fault Ed lost his mind and will to live because Izzy dangled his legs over the side of the ship.

d. Ed's kept Izzy around because he's useful and convenient, but he's not irreplacable ("the hands that kill" if you excuse my pun, even used one last time to kill their master), and it only took a few weeks with fuckin' Stede Bonnet to make Izzy redundant.

In Izzy's mind, his whole life was a lie - he was never loved, appreciated, or even safe. And it was his own fault too.

DJ said in an interview that Izzy shooting Ed was him finally breaking up with him, and I agree (very generous of me, I know).

Izzy goes through the breakup phase alone - at first, he thinks Ed is dead, then he believes he has nothing else to say to Ed and Ed's said everything there was to say as well, no apology needed or expected. It's done.

BUT.

We know this isn't true, right? What kind of conclusion would that be to the most important relationship in the series (apart from that other guy, I forgot his name)? After all of this, all the implied backstory, all of Con's and Taika's brilliant acting choices - there must be something more satisfying coming then Yeah... well... Not movin' on is worse.

I hope I'm worried for nothing and the next 3 episodes will address this (but there's so little time! And there is so much else going on!).

Also, I'm fully aware that in episode 4 and 5 Ed was 100% in his arc with Stede (we had the Ed/Izzy arc in episodes 1 and 2 after all). Ed and Izzy didn't interact at all in both episodes (excepting the one look during the apology). While Izzy was shouting at headless unicorns, himself and an indifferent universe with his hair attractively in his face, Ed wasn't even on the ship. Izzy moved on without any confrontation, apology, without any contact to Ed at all. To keep on living, he had to distance himself from all the trauma and throw himself at Stede.

I just felt a bit drained after episodes 4 and 5 - for me, Ed and Izzy are the central relationship of the show, Ed and Stede are like an added bonus. And after the first 3 episodes, I felt the showrunners kinda went in that direction as well (not as completely as I did obviously). And then they put Izzy on a different path and decided not to waste time with Ed actually thinking about poor Iz at all.

I really, really hope they don't drop this fascinating dynamic just to make Izzy accept that life is great without Ed and Stede and Ed running off into the sunset. Izzy (and us) have invested too much energy and love into that relationship. I want them to come to an understanding, an acknowledgement of what they were to each other, and what they are now.

Some healing stuff, or whatever. To quote Hornigold, of all people: You gotta move on, ya know? Or... you blow your brains out. Or, we could just make some soup.

(Also, Ed has to suffer because of (losing) Iz. It's only fair.)

[dont-mind-if-i-slytherin]

Hot take on final episode

Spolier warning!!! Last chance!

I'm not even mad about Izzy. It was sad, and I'm upset that he's died. It does make sense storytelling wise, and if I was the writer, I probably would have made the same choice, I did see it coming, but thought they might not do it because of the whole subverting gay tropes and this does seem a little 'bury the gay'... Izzy had finally accepted himself, could move on and be happy and he dies... but I get it. I understand why they did it.

However, I will say i wish they did it differently. It was a random ass bullet shot, it wasn't even aiming at him properly, it was chance, total bad luck. I guess it was for the shock factor, and how sudden things can happen during battle, and for a comedy/drama, it is still a pirate show, so people will get hurt and they will die, but I would have loved to see something more meaningful for Izzy's character development. We spent an entire season working through his trauma and acceptance journey, and it just feels a little.. anti climatic.

I would have loved for there to be a parallel from season 1, a show down with the British, Ricky shoots the gun at Stede, Ed is to far away this time, and Izzy jumps in front of him. It would bring his arc full circle, accepting Stede as family, approving of his relationship with Ed, and understanding that Stede makes Ed better, and while last season he gave him up to the British, here he is saving him, because he knows that without Stede, Ed may fall back into that dark path he was on and he wants to save Ed (and the crew) from that. It would have been a nice contrast of him helping break them up, and nearly dying from it, to dying to ensure they can be happy together.

I would have also accepted him maybe sacrificing himself for Lucius, the one he had a lot of tension with, because of his own self hatred reflected in seeing Lucius as everything he felt like he could not be, open, caring and gay without no fucks to give. Him then saving Lucius would have been a nod to him coming to terms with that in himself, that he doesn't have to be this angry hateful person, and also saving him now when last season his words and actions had a domino effect which led to lucius being pushed of the ship and a lot of trauma, so being a nice little parallel.

I wish we had more episodes, but they did amazing with what they had. There were pacing issues but that wasn't the fault of the writers, it was getting a rubbish budget and 8 half an hour episodes. I hope for a season 3, and I really really hope Con is still in it, even if he is Ed, Stede's or Lucius' ghost just making snarky comments behind them for the entire season.

Anyway, thank you for reading my Ted Talk!

[crustose]

The Beach Boys' Pet Sounds, reordered to fit Steddyhands timeline

Pet Sounds is about Stede, Ed, and Izzy. and here's the proof. Listen on Spotify

Wouldn't It Be Nice

Ed/Izzy, Hornigold era. Encapsulates the joy of finding each other, while yearning for better times. Hoping that one day they’ll have it, if they just hold on for a little while longer.  

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up In the morning when the day is new? After having spent the day together Hold each other close the whole night through But happy times together we've been spending I wish that every kiss was never-ending Oh, wouldn't it be nice?

You know it seems the more we talk about it It only makes it worse to live without it

Discussing mutiny, building Blackbeard, together. Longing for the kind of life that isn’t ruled by Hornigold any longer.

I Just Wasn't Made for These Times

Ed “It’s all so fuckin’ boring’ Teach

Every time I get the inspiration To go change things around No one wants to help me look for places Where new things might be found Where can I turn when my fair weather friends cop out? What's it all about?

I Know There's an Answer

Co-Captains? Co-Captains. 

I know so many people who think they can do it alone They isolate their heads and stay in their safety zones

Now how can I come on And tell them the way that they live could be better? [Traditionally, piracy is a culture of abuse, floggings, keelhaulings. And my thought is, "Why?” And also, what if it wasn't like that?]

Here Today 

Izzy, warning Ed against Stede. 

It starts with just a little glance now Right away you're thinkin' 'bout romance now You know you ought to take it slower But you just can't wait to get to know her A brand new love affair is such a beautiful thing But if you're not careful think about the pain it can bring

It makes you feel so bad It makes your heart feel sad It makes your days go wrong It makes your nights so long

Izzy, warning Stede against Ed

Right now you think that she's perfection This time is really an exception Well, you know I hate to be a downer But I'm the guy she left before you found her Well, I'm not saying you won't have a good love with her But I keep on remembering things like they were

That's Not Me

Stede leaves, thinking he’s doing the right thing for everyone. Once he reckons with that, he can return with the confidence that he loves Ed, and that the Revenge is home. 

I had to prove that I could make it alone now But that's not me I wanted to show how independent I'd grown now But that's not me I could try to be big in the eyes of the world What matters to me is what I could be to just one girl [Ed Teach btw]

I'm a little bit scared 'cause I haven't been home in a long time [Stede talking to Ed’s wanted poster] You needed my love and I know that I left at the wrong time

I'm Waiting for the Day 

Stede/Ed/Izzy, at various points. They were there for each other, bridging those times when various iterations of the three of them were broken up. 

I kissed your lips and when your face looked sad It made me think about him and that you still loved him so [S2 Stede to Ed and Izzy, separately] You didn't think, no, that I could sit around and watch him take yo You didn't think that I could sit back and let you go

Izzy, S1, hoping that the duel would get Ed back.

Don't Talk (Put Your Head on My Shoulder) 

Ed/Izzy. Those first moments of reconciliation, when it’s just the two of them. They can’t really talk about it, not yet, but they can sit together, shoulder to shoulder [well, shoulder to upper arm more like], hands gently clasped, and just be. 

I can hear so much in your sighs And I can see so much in your eyes There are words we both could say Come close, close your eyes and be still Don't talk, take my hand and let me hear your heart beat

Sloop John B

Stede/Izzy, that night that Ed left. Stede’s excitement at being respected as a real pirate, giving way to his anxiety over Ed. Izzy helps him through it. 

Around Nassau town we did roam Drinkin' all night Got into a fight Well, I feel so broke up I wanna go home Call for the captain ashore, let me go home

You Still Believe in Me 

Ed/Izzy. Ed’s wonder and gratitude that Izzy, against all odds, stays. 

Every time we break up, you bring back your love to me And after all I've done to you, how can it be You still believe in me

God Only Knows 

Steddyhands. No explanation needed. 

If you should ever leave me Well, life would still go on, believe me The world could show nothing to me So what good would living do me?

[goat-poet]

ed's sigh in ep5

**will add picture later**

something about the post-kiss thumbsies games rings wrong with me. not that it happened. not that is was included in the narrative (it's a great way of showing relief, actually.)

but what stede says at the end, when ed end up on top.

'you won.' and ed turns away, and his face turn quiet, serious. he huffs.

i didn't understand it right away - but I get the feeling, ed sighing harmonizes with me for some reason, and I have some ideas.

one, there's obviously a history of assuming their relationship is a game to the other. they realized and said out loud 'we are him prone'. the relationship being a game is not connoted positively BUT what would any (romantic) relationship be without games. being chums, fooling around. games make room for error, within games there is space to draw (and voice) boundaries. and they were performing playful, emotive exchange right before stepping into each others spaces, kissing, holding hands. so is it setting the game / any game and with that taking a chance on something good happening, but also taking a chance on getting hurt, in a physically intimate setting that makes Ed seem...uncomfortable?

two, 'you won' rings kind of absolute. alternatives may be: you win, you're winning this time. you got me. why does stede choose these words? well Ed obviously 'won' this exchange of thumbsies. but what makes the competition? they're on the same team, they're 'us'. or stede could mean: you're doing well, you're coming out on top of this, and the game is a signifier of this, if stede wants to make it that.

And Ed disagrees. his sea has not calmed (yet). he knows himself, he knows he's constantly shifting, and that he can be triggered. for ed, sorting out their relationship isn't over, and i don't think it is for stede either from what is shon. But we don't see stede worrying over his mental health, while we do experience ed going through enormous mental shifting with outright cruelty and suicidal behaviour on one end of the spectrum and shyly turning in to be kissed under the moonlight on the other end. and last time things went bad, stede was the trigger. but as we leave ep5, ed is taking care of himself, rebuilding trust, not apologizing but doing amends. so he probably has a thought or two about what is going to destabilize him, my first guess being izzy as ed cruelty to him is always mentioned in an impersonalized manner (izzy's name doesn't actually fall when discussing HIS LEG). i think, on some level, ed is aware of the cruelty he is capable to bestow upon others. probably not the most recent ones (see: izzy), but he is aware he can become dangerous to others and himself. and who would Ed hate to hurt? stede, of course. ed has 'won' nothing but a temporary refuge on the ship and an odd tranquility that gives him a chance to process i hope. he's still at war wwith himself inside his head, but how would anyone understand if he doesn't even understand how to navigate it

three, ed can't hold silence for shit. and stede can't really either. stede reaches for ed's hand, asking him calmly if this ok. ed answers 'perfect', and takes stede's hand in both of his. they play with their fingers, ed 'wins' and stede states the obvious. and it...has no end? their quip is going on and on and ed...maybe doesn't want to. he sat in silence (haha) with fang earlier (my man fell asleep on him) and maybe ed like that? but - as stated explicitly by fang - he's not good at that. he cannot emulate a sense of calmness/silence well on himself GUESS wHAT my babygirl is shit at emotionally self-regulation!!! and stede can't perform the calmness either, not yet. Meaning if either of them really shuts up, it means something may be wrong, or at least awkward ('please talk to me'). and fucking ed teach doesn't need awkwardness right now SO THE QUIPPING GOES ON and it's nice, it's romantic even, it feels easy. and while it might not be what he needs, ed at least identified what he needs from stede i guess???

going insane over this, if you can't tell by now. thanks for reading!!

[ladykatibeth]

Stede and Izzy’s Actual S1 Feelings Part 2:

Here’s Part 1

Moving on to the other half…..

Izzy’s feelings toward Stede in season 1 are much more negative. They are also much more circumstantial than personal.

In Ep 2 Izzy is annoyed. I’d say he’s having a little fun being dramatic, but based on his rant the trick did frustrate him. His opinion of Stede isn’t particularly high, he thinks he’s pretending to be a pirate, but he also doesn’t see him as much of a threat either. He’s an excellent sword fighter but barely protests the compromise and dosen’t even harm Stede, not even a nic.

He’s showing off with the shirt cut, he’s upset Stede got one over on him at the end, but he isn’t like…enraged? It’s more like the kind of pissed you get after losing a video game to someone, strong but not really personal or even long lasting.

Izzy does not want to interact with him again but is fairly neutral about it. He doesn’t think Stede is worth the time. His anger at Stede later is tied up in having to go out of his way to go get him, he doesn’t even protest that hard about Ed inviting him, he just really doesn’t want to be the one to do it.

“Can’t I just send the boys?” That’s more complaint about being asked to do a thing than the thing happening.

Izzy is polite but slightly demeaning up until Stede gets him name wrong (“for some unfathomable reason”) he decides he really doesn’t want anything to do with him and tells Ed he isn’t interested, messing around with the truth a little. This is very much personal and fueled by dislike.

In Ep 4 onward however, a lot of Izzy’s dislike of Stede has much less to do with Stede himself and more Stede in relation to how he effects Edward and Stede related things.

Izzy doesn’t like that Ed put him and the QA crew at risk for a relative stranger. Still pretty impersonal, he uses the same standard insult about Stede (Twat) that he uses for Edward, his closest friend. It’s just a general easy insult.

Izzy in Ep 4 mostly interacts with Stede when Ed directs him that way by putting Stede in charge. Other than that he’s focused on Stede’s crew and Ed, he dislikes Stede mainly as a distraction. He’s down for Ed killing him but as pirates that’s not necessarily personal, he’s killed tons of people he has zero hard feelings for so attempted murder isn’t necessarily an indicator of intensity.

In Ep 5 he’s given more reason to dislike Stede as an extension of his crew who doesn’t respect him. His authority is removed and due to Ed’s fixation on Stede he’s in an unfamiliar environment, he’s outnumbered, and Ed is too distracted to back him up. Ed’s fixation on Stede puts him in this situation, Izzy’s dislike increases.

In 6 he convinces Ed to put in more effort to kill him, and tries to get him killed, but once again this is more about Ed upholding his plan than Izzy’s feelings about Stede. Izzy, knowing Ed likes him, decides to be his version of nice and have Stede taken out doing what he loves.

This fails, rather than just kill him Izzy gives several opportunities to yield and have Stede be banished instead.

I’d say the most Izzy hates Stede is after the duel not during, when Stede is picked over Izzy. Which is still more about Ed than Stede.

Izzy decides to for real try to get him killed after. He’s upset that Stede did something to Ed and seems to have changed him rapidly. For Ed’s sake he makes sure it’s quick, this really does not feel like a matter of vengeance to me, more like taking out something he considers dangerous.

His final statement about Stede is calling him Edward’s boyfriend and telling the crew Ed wants all his stuff gone.

The main thing here is that very little of Izzy’s dislike of Stede seems to be based on Stede as a person. He hates that Stede effected Ed in the way he did. He hates that Ed’s thing for Stede was keeping him in a situation he did not want to be in. He hates that Stede was picked over him. All of this is about Edward, it’s jealousy and feeling loss of control.

A couple things to point out:

Izzy doesn’t express as much dislike of Stede’s style as fanon seems to suggest. He barely insults Stede’s room, and that was about poor use of space not the decoration. He does seem to like Stede’s curtains. He’s more upset by Stede wearing Ed’s clothes than Ed wearing Stede’s clothes. His most negative statement is the silk dressing gown one, and the emphasis is not here, it’s on pinning. Silk dressing gown is said derogatory but it’s also not an insult it’s a statement of fact. It is a silk dressing gown.

Izzy never says anything negative about talking it through that I can remember, he mentions it as an excuse for why certain members aren’t there, slightly negatively.

Izzy’s insults against Stede tend to be mostly skill based which is somewhat tied to personality but not deeply. Izzy dosen’t like people not willing to put in an effort and Stede very much is, though Izzy has no way of knowing this yet.

Stede shares many traits with Ed who Izzy loves , including but not limited to; creativity/cleverness, excitability, tendency for performance, leader over follower, fanciful, and the head in the clouds thing.

Stede also shares traits with Izzy, Izzy and Stede are both theatrical speakers, can be a little prissy, very determined, care a lot about the way things *should* be in ways that can mess with their views of how things *are*, both are romantics in different ways.

To close out, if Izzy’s main issue has been circumstantial and things have gone way beyond that they’ve become tiny issues in comparison then the biggest cause of his side of dislike here is removed. Quick changes all around.

[tasteofdeathao3]

Izzy: if I do everything I can to get Ed’s attention, then he won’t have time for anyone else!

Ed: wow Izzy’s having a little phase, good thing Stede is here to help work through it, it’s so much better having another grown up nearby when things get rough

I don’t even think, as a toddler, Izzy could be bought so he wouldn’t be impressed by nice fabrics or baths with fancy oils and expensive soap or a collection of storybooks that are NOT as good as the stories that Ed tells him. Okay, maybe he likes the sweets, the toys, the coconut milk that doesn’t hurt his tummy, the way the fire is always going at night so he falls asleep cosy and comfortable but. Still. He doesn’t like Stede.

He gets a small bed in the captains’ quarters for particularly rough days or if he falls asleep while he’s being changed and that’s only okay because Ed is there too, but the one night he’s up with Buttons through the night is also when Izzy has a little nightmare and wakes up groggy and so sad - not realising it’s Stede who’s comforting him and keeping him safe until he stops crying for long enough to notice that he’s got his face buried in a heavy robe and is being carried over to cuddle on the sofa and talk rather than held in bed quietly until he falls back asleep, like Ed normally did.

(Hope you’re okay <3)

(thank you <3 im getting there)

the entire toddler izzy + ed + stepdad stede situation is Izzy is doing everything he can to get Ed's attention and Ed seeing it as an amazing opportunity for him to get a second pair of hands when it comes to looking after Izzy

Izzy, as always, absolutely hates Stede. One hundred percent, whenever his sights are set on him Izzy's just scowling and nothing but Ed blocking his view of Stede can fix it.

He gets so wriggly and fussy whenever Stede tries to put him in something other than Ed's cotton shirts for bedtime that Ed has to get out of bed half the time just to cam him down, and on the odd occasion it's Stede changing him he scowls and huffs as Stede rubs scented oils into his skin after he'd gotten a bath with Stede's fancy fruit flavoured soaps and his creamy shampoo.

He has the comprehension skills to understand that Stede does give him some of the nice things he likes, like boiled lollies and full sugar cubes and little slivers of chocolate that are so incredibly rare out at sea, but under no circumstances will he ever let Stede give him those things without Ed as a buffer. When it's Ed feeding him strawberry flavoured sweets he has so problem grinning and giggles and bashfully mashing his face into Ed's thigh, and when Ed is the one helping Izzy drink coconut milk out of a grown up cup, not Stede, he's content to lean back against Ed's chest and be bounced on his knee when he's all finished.

He loves his bed the the captains cabin, even if he throws a mini tantrum every time Ed tries to get him to sleep there. Half the time he's half asleep when they tuck him up there anyway, so he doesn't have to lie too much about how much he likes it.

He's prone to nightmares, after watching Ed battle through a few bad stabs to the wrong side and seeing some pretty significant violence take place right in front of him, and it happens often enough that he doesn't question when someone comes to help untangle him from the very sweaty blankets, murmuring quietly to him the whole time.

Izzy cries louder once he's picked up and held against their chest - he knows that the louder he cries the more Ed will want to hold him close and calm him down, so he does just that. He doesn't realise anything's off until he realises his scalp isn't getting scratched like it usually is when Ed comes to help him calm down, and instead there's a hand patting his bottom and soft lips against his temple.

Slowly, he realises the fabric his hand his fisted in and that he's drooling onto is much thicker and smoother than Ed's sleep shirts, and that the voice cooing at him is a lot higher than Ed's.

He pulls his little head away from the chest he's been resting on and, once he's blinked most of the tears from his eyes, he can make out Stede staring down at him, eyebrows pulled taught with worry, and he can't help but cry even more.

He doesn't want to be held by Stede, he doesn't want to be cooed at and bounced and pet, but he's so disoriented and scared that it doesn't matter who's holding him, he just needs the comfort.

He scowls between sobs that he wails as loud as he can just because he knows Stede won't like it (that's not true at all, he's scared and it's dark and he's still a bit disoriented), and cries so hard he ends up retching loudly and choking on the feeling while Stede pats his back.

It's a little odd when it's been almost five minutes spent crying into the front of Stede's robe and he still hasn't been tucked back into bed - whenever Ed finds him like this he holds Izzy close to his chest and pets his hair until the tears give way to sniffles and he can finally sleep again, but Stede is still bouncing him cooing quietly.

By the time Izzy stops crying enough to take a proper breath in, he finds himself sitting in Stede's lap, who'd sat down in his armchair across the room.

"Oh dear," he tuts when Izzy pulls his face out of his robe, eyes red and raw and his nose running profusely, "Poor darling."

Izzy tries to scowl as Stede raises a hanky to wipe off his face, but he does feel a lot better once his face is less sticky, and when Stede tells him to blow his nose he only does it because he can barely breathe through it.

He wipes his face on Stede's robe just to annoy him, even if there's barely any snot and tears left on his face. He wants to bite Stede when he starts to comb his fingers through his hair, but he decides not to (totally not because it feels nice or anything, definitely not).

"Did you have a bad dream?" Stede murmurs, and Izzy stares him down in lieu of a response. There's no way he's going to let Stede talk it through with him. Yuck.

While Stede tries countless and times and in countless ways to try and get Izzy to reveal what had happened in his dream, Izzy scowls where he sits on his knee, refusing to let Stede even cuddle him (he curls up on Stede's chest, eyes and nose positively dripping onto Stede's robe, shaking and nodding his head to Stede's questions while he's patting his back).

Izzy asks for Ed more times than he sniffles, which is quite a few times, and each time Stede tells him that Ed is busy up on the deck and won't be back for a bit.

Of course, Izzy doesn't exactly want to hear that, but when he tries to bite Stede through his robe he's met instead with a little linen pouch tucked in between his teeth that tastes very sweet and yummy when he bites down on it for a bit.

He tries to suckle as much of the sweetness as he can through the linen, but before he can get his fix it's being pulled out of his mouth (even after he digs what few teeth he has yet into the little pouch, it still gets taken away).

Before he can squeal like he usually does when Stede pisses him off, Stede's holding a cup (a grown up cup, a special porcelain one that he's usually not allowed to touch) up to his lips and tipping it up for him to get a sip.

Izzy, even when he's tired and scared and upset, will always have a first instinct to protest against anything Stede does, and refuses to open his mouth until he finally catches the smell of the special coconut milk Stede makes the Revenge dock to make just for him and suddenly his mouth his open as wide as it will go while Stede helps him take little mouthfuls of the sweet tasting milk that doesn't make his tummy hurt.

Usually Ed makes him drink from his own cup, and his little sippy cup has been making less and less of an appearance lately since he mostly learned to pick up the little tin cups they got just for him, but Stede let's him drink without needing to use his hands, holding a hanky up to the corners of his mouth where some of the milk slips down.

The fire is crackling and warm and Izzy's tummy is full and he's so tired, and he doesn't like Stede, of course not, but he's so sleepy and his eyes are closing before he's even finished drinking.

He whines when the cup is taken away from his mouth, but then he's being rolled over to lay on his tummy and his back is being patted and even if it is Stede holding him he's a little too tired to stay awake, even if he isn't all that happy about falling asleep on his 'arch nemesis' (stepfather).

(The next morning, when Ed returns, Izzy will blabber and whine about Stede and how his tummy hurts and how he needs kisses absolutely everywhere and absolutely must be carried around in the baby sling that Ed tried to retire months ago, and Ed will roll his eyes but indulge him anyway. Stede will flutter around and fuss about how the little sling fits Izzy, and Izzy will fuss and wriggle but ultimately won't bite Stede's fingers when they get too close, like he usually does.)

[something-about-sunflowers]

The thing is, though... Izzy is meant to irredeemable and unlikable. He was written with zero sympathy for him in text, he was written as an asshole who is malicious, disloyal, and cruel. He is ABUSIVE. He is emotionally manipulative, he gaslights, he makes verbal threats and physical assaults. He deliberately and strategically isolates Ed from his crew. He deliberately disobeys a direct order (an act of mutiny) against Ed when he doesn't stand down and duels Stede. He turns around and betrays Ed when he doesn't get what he wants. VIco is an abuse apologist Izzy stan just like you. And they, just like the rest of the cast, know that you disgusting cultists only care about Izzy. You don't give a shit about Ed, or Stede, or anyone else. You literally just flick your clits to Izzy being unpleasant and abusive. He has no redeeming qualities that weren't stolen from other characters or completely made up by fandom. He's not a good person. He's not a nice guy. His motives are selfish and cruel. He's lazy and he's racist. So you can like him. Because you're a piece of shit abuse apologist. And you and all the other Izzy cultists can hold your breath until you turn blue about how he's not the character he is. But he is. Izzy is not secretly the third protagonist. He's not going to turn around and save the day. He doesn't have a decent, self-sacrificing, genuinely good bone in his body. If there is a Jim/Izzy kiss, then you are hoping for the dissolution of Jim/Oluwande (I guess an ample-bodied, dark-skinned black man isn't good enough for you? But then again, all Izzy stans are ultimately shallow and stupid), and you are disgusting. You would rather Jim be with a man who is racist and cruel than a man who adores them. And you know what, you stupid cunt? Even if it does happen, it WOULDN'T automatically mean good things for Izzy. If Jim kisses him to distract him while other people escape, he's still a piece of shit abuser. But he'll be that regardless. Because he abusive. And he is the villain. There is no redeeming him. The show has made that perfectly fucking clear. He betrayed Ed. He threatened to kill Ed if Ed didn't do what he wanted. He is the thing Ed will have to overcome to truly be happy.

And you're disgusting.

Ok, first of all: Big fan! I've heard so much about you Anon! Second: this made me laugh so fucking hard. I needed a good laugh so thanks Anon! ❤

(Read-more for the sake of my followers dashes, I'm writing essays again lmfao.)

So like. You must hate Mary then too, yeah? Since she's meant to be Izzy's parallel? What do you think of David Jenkins telling us that 'Izzy is the one to watch on a re-watch'? Do you think he's worried we missed him being 'irredeemable'? See, cause I took that as 'see that there's nuance to his character and he's got pretty reasonable motivations if you pay attention' but now, well, I'm just not sure, Anon 😰.

Tell me, where is he malicious outside of, like, regular piracy business? When someone else instigates? Yeah, sounds about right, so cruel of him to not worship at a rich man's feet when said rich man acts like he's the scum of the earth before knowing a single thing about him. How malicious of him to not be buddy-buddy with people his boss has taken prisoner, who are actively antagonizing him. How disloyal of him to *checks notes* uh. Hm. Well. There's just- there's nothing here? Oh! Oh do you mean the thing he did to get to Stede? The thing that Calico Jack (hi, I also love him, does that make me extra problématique?) and Spanish Jackie helped him do? The thing he did because he believed it was in Ed's best interest, since he was acting wildly out of character and incredibly irrationally considering their dangerous profession/lifestyle? That must be on a different list, I don't have that listed under 'disloyal', strange.

Izzy can't even manipulate his own emotions lmfao. Gaslighting? Anon, you must be misremembering, gosh you're so silly. Can't keep anything straight in that head of yours can you? He lies sometimes, I'll give you that, at least by omission, but that's not gaslighting. I'm sure you'll not like this but Ed's actions with regards to Izzy are closer to gaslighting than anything Izzy does to Ed. Or the crew, which I'm assuming you're including in this since you mention 'physical assault' and Izzy's never laid a hand on Ed?

The same crew that he, as far as he was aware (because Ed was *gasp* manipulating him by withholding information), was to treat as prisoners who, upon completing their task of 'repair the ship so we can take it from you, since we're pirates' would be given 'the uzsh' treatment of execution? The crew that he doesn't lay a hand on at all afterwards? Ooh, or do you mean when he grabbed Fang's beard? When Fang was openly questioning his captain's orders? Something that, if unchecked, can lead to a mutiny?

Funny thing about 'he disobeys a direct order' is that, well, Ed doesn't give him a direct order? 'We're not doing this' does not equal 'stand down'. He also doesn't try to stop it. Like, at all. He doesn't even tell Stede to stand down. He may not have wanted it to happen but he didn't do anything to actually prevent it when he's literally the only person on the ship with the power to prevent it. 'Izzy I no longer want him dead', all he needed to say since Izzy was operating on 'Izzy I want him dead but I can't do it myself because I'm conflicted about killing and especially killing things I'm attached to'. If Izzy had ignored that, then we could talk about 'disobeying direct orders'.

Also, he's first mate, its his job to push back on questionable orders from the captain. That's not mutiny that's how you prevent a mutiny.

'When he doesn't get what he wants', being. . . What? What he thought Ed wanted because he didn't communicate otherwise? What he thought was in Ed's best interest, because he's acting irrationally and out of character (which is confirmed by Fang and Ivan, by the way)? He's wrong* about what Ed's best interests are but that doesn't change the fact that he was trying to help rather than harm.

*Arguably. Ed indulging Stede was dangerous. Even without the threat of the navy on their backs (Stede's fault), there was no coasting on Blackbeard's reputation on the Revenge. They'd have to deal with every threat instead of just the one's who'd go after Blackbeard anyway.

So, wait, is Vico one of us or nah? Cause, like, I'll gladly join a cult if Vico is there. What do you think about David Jenkins though? Since his favorite character seems to be Izzy as well? Anyway I'll grant that Stede isn't my favorite character but that hardly means I don't give a shit about him. As for Ed. I love him so much, Anon. I love him so much that I don't infantilize him for the sake of demonizing another character so that I can use that to justify sending anon hate to people with differing opinions to me. I love Ed because he's unpleasant and- *ahem* well.

Some nice misogyny there, by the way. Gonna go out on a limb and say a bit transphobic as well, since I know you're presuming we're all women, some of us are men, some of us are neither or both. Has some notes of sexual harassment too. No, I'm not kidding. You're fantasizing about a group of people, sexually, and sending them messages about it. That's like, textbook sexual harassment. Not cool Anon.

Anon. They're pirates. None of them are good people. None of them are nice guys. All of their motivations are selfish and cruel.

Ed 'loves a good maim'. He's Blackbeard. He's not Robin Hood. He doesn't have secret (or explicit) good motivations for piracy and torture and murder. Stede is a deadbeat dad who chose piracy. Which includes stealing from people, even the poor (do we forget the plant so easily?), despite him. Y'know. Being rich? And like, selfish and cruel are Stede and Ed's middle names, Anon. Turtle vs crab? Setting a ship on fire with everyone still inside? Doesn't matter if the fire was the one who killed them if you're the one who set the fire, Anon. Swede losing teeth/fingernails? But I wanna go on a treasure hunt! And let's not even bring up Mary and the kids.

'Lazy and racist', where? I am legitimately asking, Anon, where? Is it where he makes the crew do their actual jobs? That's his job. Oh, how about where, instead of getting captured by the native people for being a colonizer, he does business with them? (You know, the people who explicitly call out Stede and Pete for being racist?) How about working under and with BIPOC? You think Blackbeard would keep him around if he was being racist? You think Jackie would have given him the time of day if he was racist? You don't think Fang and Ivan would have had some comment about it during the mutiny/planning scene?

I'll do you a solid, you don't have to point to any particular scene that doesn't exist. The writers themselves have said that they're not trying to tackle racism in the show the way that having Izzy be anything but 'white person who is, by virtue of being white, some level of racist' would be. If you don't want to call literally every other sympathetic white character on the show racist, you shouldn't be saying it of Izzy either. Izzy isn't the one who owns a fucking plantation.

Anon, I'm so glad you're giving me permission to keep liking Izzy! Thank you so much! I'm so grateful the fandom has you here to delegate what people are allowed to like and do! What would we do without you?

Nobody thinks Izzy is 'secretly the third protagonist'. Not anymore than people think that of Jim or Oluwande or Frenchie, since they all have side-plots going on as well. As for whether or not he's going to turn around and save the day? We'll see. Obviously he's not going to do everything because he's not the protagonist(s), but he has the potential to try and help just as much as everybody else on either crew. You're certainly entitled to your opinion/interpretation of his character but I can just as well say 'I think you're wrong', especially when you come into my house and throw a fit about it.

Did you forget that Jim and Lucius kissed as well? Are you forgetting 'we don't own each other'? Hell, Anon, I specifically said 'I don't ship Jim and Izzy', but well. Something something 'people on this website piss on the poor' etc. (Anon, you can just say 'fat', its not a bad word. I'm fat, Oluwande is fat, I fucking love that he's fat. I'm also not the best suited to speak on BIPOC representation but I'm also super happy that they're not shying away from including dark-skinned actors like Samson and Leslie. But that doesn't fit into your narrative so 🤷‍♂️.) You can call me all the sweet things you like but it doesn't change the fact that the show has, pretty explicitly, said 'yay polyamory' and Jim (and Oluwande) has two hands. Leave alone the fact that Jim can kiss Lucius and just be friends with him, same as they could with Izzy.

Gosh, Anon, you're really hurting my feelings here. You really think I'm a stupid cunt? That hurts. Genuinely, I'm gutted. I don't think I'll ever recover.

Given that you're literally talking hypotheticals, as we all are, since we don't know what is going to happen in season 2, I'm not going to argue if it would 'mean good things for Izzy' if Jim kissed him. Though I will say, if Jim needed him distracted for people to escape (I'm assuming you mean escaping him, rather than Ed who is the proper threat to anyone in need of escaping right now) they could find easier ways to do it than kissing him?

And the sky is green. And cats are witches. And women have crystals in their bodies. I can say stuff too, Anon. I think you fundamentally misunderstand what redemption means, if we're being entirely honest here. Redemption has less to do with your previous actions and more to do with what you choose to do going forward. Clearly we disagree on his capacity for doing better going forward, and that's fine, its alright to be wrong Anon I won't judge you for that, but him having done bad in the past* has no bearing on his redemption if he chooses to do good in the future.

*'Bad' here being used both generously and ungenerously. Generously towards your definition of bad and ungenerously in the face of his rationale. He had perfectly valid reasons for doing the things he did, regardless of whether or not he should have done them.

I love you too Anon! I hope you have a good day at school tomorrow- er. On Monday, sorry, adult schedules don't always follow the 'weekends off' rules that kid's schedules do, I forget sometimes. Bye bye!

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

BTS!! Don't Hurt Yourself

BTS: Write a dvd commentary about a passage from the fic (I cannot pic a fav so I'm just gonna give any old passage, I chose this one because I have a fun backstory about when I wrote it)(Full disclosure I own dvds but its been so long since I watched dvd commentary that I don't really remember what it's like so I'll just talk about the passage and how I made the decisions I did and how it came about, you know, the making of the passage.)

Spicy. alright I can do spicy.

Stede had always thought that a desire to hurt another individual out of malice or hatred was something that was intended to be done without their consent, that it would be dampened by the thought that the other person was into it. He was somewhat surprised to find that Izzy’s openly asking for it did not cheapen his own sadistic pleasure in giving the bastard what he deserved.

And he did deserve it, Stede decided as he pressed the head of his cock into Izzy’s tight, wet cunt. Izzy deserved to get smacked around and spat upon. Not just for the stunt with the blow job and the secret phone call, but also for calling Edward a whore, and a twat, and every other unkind derogatory thing he’d said in that courtroom and out, and for being generally an unpleasant, nasty little man that no one wanted to be around, and for causing Ed so much grief.

First of all, Bonnet, you are also causing Ed grief by fucking his husband but I digress

anyway. Backstory: This is from Chapter 7 of Don't Hurt Yourself. A chapter which I slaved away on for I think about two months, because I had written up to the point where Stede and Izzy Yaoi prat fall onto each other and Stede ends up with Izzy's tit in his hand or whatever, and I had no idea where to go from there ie how to get Stede's cock in Izzy's cunt in a way that was at least realistic enough for me to be satisfied with it.(emotional realities not physical realities, as is my right as an ofmd fic author, David Jenkins school of writing ect.) It's a problem I have with writing both Jack/Stede and Izzy/Stede, I have to seamlessly bring them from bitching at each other like they do in the show to fucking each other. Its not as easy as it sounds.

The breakthrough of the writers block came for me the same night I did magic mushrooms for the first time. My dealer told me that they would take about 3 hours to kick in (they took half that amount of time) and I was like, well I have three hours to spare so I might as well try to bang out a couple paragraphs. (it was the day I posted "why is it so much easier to write when the edible is about to kick in" It was not an edible I was waiting on. Idk why I said edible I regularly admit to drugs on here lmao.) So I managed to write a lot of the dialogue and then these two paragraphs. But the shrooms kicked in as I was finishing up the last paragraph, which meant that I ended it with some absolutely inebriated drivel about the word fuck and how it's used to convey both hate (e,g. shut the fuck up, fuck you) and sex that I had to delete when I was sober and I very rapidly lost the ability to write after that.

Anyway now that the fun back story is out of the way let's actually talk about what's happening in these two paragraphs. Stizzy hate sex! Stede and Izzy are sometimes hard to make fuck because Stede simply does not think about him, but they're also incredibly fun to make fuck. Muppet vibes off the charts especially when they're doing bdsm (which is the only kind of sex Izzy knows how to have). Miss Piggy slapping Kermit energy but they're not married.

I also tend to think Stede has a dark side. He's as mean as he is nice and he's real fucking nice. I love it when he's evil, because I'm horny about evil men. I think if Stede would think about Izzy long enough he could get dark with it (a vibe which is not incompatible with muppetry broaden your horizons for the possible.) and I think the only way to make him think about Izzy long enough is to have Izzy wrong Ed and make it clear to Stede that Ed was wronged and put Izzy in Stede's direct line of sight.

Basically, I want Stede to have hate sex and I want him to realize he's a sadist. I tried to convey that here. I think that Stede as a character has the capacity for so much love and so much hate. It's an important balance to strike when writing him, if you go too far in one direction you turn him into an unrecognizable monster (which I've seen certain people do) but if you go too far in the other he becomes an unrecognizable woobie baby which is so fucking boring dude. I hope I got across his sadist awakening well. he still needs a second one where you learn you can do it to people you like tho...

The ask meme

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Ed, Olu

(character ask game)

ooh okay I'll start with Oluwande and put Ed under the cut because I can't help being a bitch about him sorry

how I feel about the character: I used to not really like him that much because I thought he was too nice, but I've since gotten into the awkward energy of lines like "I'm gonna try to undo some of the damage from that interaction" and now I think he's pretty cool. OTP: Tealoranges, of course. (Is that the generally accepted ship name for Jim/Oluwande? it's the one I've been using). OT3: I'm intrigued by Jim/Oluwande/Spanish Jackie. NOTP: Honestly shipping him with anyone other than Jim would just feel wrong to me, but I guess the worst would be Oluwande/Stede. favorite bromance: Frenchie. Their whole thing in episode 5 was so good. favorite family dynamic: When the whole crew unanimously votes him as captain. He was only captain for like half a second but I love the way they all trusted him to lead them and we'd better get more of that in season 2. favorite canon thing about them: I'm not quite sure how to put this, but he just has good vibes. Whenever he's on screen it just feels nice to see him there. So I guess my favorite canon thing about him is just that he's there lol. favorite headcanon: He was trying to get with Jim for months before they killed Jackie's husband and the two of them had to run away, they just didn't pick up on it at all until they were in a life-threatening situation. Like there's no way he would be good at flirting and you know Jim would be into mortal peril.

how I feel about the character: I hate him. I've actually done a lot of introspection as to why and I think the main reason is that I envy him--why does he get to be such a whiny, emotional, annoying, sad, pathetic, crybaby little bitch and still be loved when I never did? I know that's wrong and I'm trying to get over it though. (that being said I do also just find his general mannerisms annoying too. that bit in episode 4 where he's trying to show Izzy the model ship when Izzy obviously doesn't care is so grating on me) OTP: That post I reblogged a while ago going "I love blackbonnet because I wouldn't want to inflict them on anyone else" was so true. OT3: The only option I can even think of is steddyhands, and while I used to be kind of into them I'm not anymore, so I'll just make one up and say Spanish Jackie/Ed/Jim because he needs two terrifying people to keep him steady. NOTP: I'm tempted to say blackhands just because Izzy is my favorite character and I don't want him with my least favorite, but I do sometimes get into the tragedy of them so I think I'll go with Ed/Frenchie, just because I've actually seen that one and it does not do it for me. favorite bromance: uhh I guess the friendship that once existed between him and Izzy in my mind? favorite family dynamic: I love how his mom tried preparing him for the harsh realities of life and ended up unwittingly reinforcing harmful beliefs that would haunt him well into middle age. That was so real. favorite canon thing about them: He is very sexy with the beard and the leather, I'll give him that. favorite headcanon: He, like Frenchie, is deathly afraid of cats. I just think that would be funny.

[charlybird]

If we ignore some realism and slap a big ol fix-it sticker on RDR2, what do you think would be in store for Bill and Alden's future together?

oh uh you mean fix it as in homophobia doesn't exist? Well, I personally think that if these two didn't have lots of issues they probably wouldn't have gotten together. I don't usually go for shared pain type things but I guess that's just how I see them for the most part (and it's a lot of coping on my part I guess, I prefer escapism after all so this game took some getting use to) In my version they help to give each other self worth through a casual relationship but then end up staying close friends for the rest of their lives by writing letters to each other. Alden talks about kind of wanting to get a train out of town and I definitely want Bill to help him with this somehow. I saw it as Bill gives him money and/or just helps him move to a different place but I guess I ended it there just because I saw these two wanting different things out of life but they could also stay together a little longer. My AUs tend to erase minority hate as much as possible, but I guess it's more similar to Our Flag Means Death with the erasure being within the main group of characters but it still exists in the world. The difference between Stede and Alden being that Alden likes civilisation and doesn't love the idea of sleeping rough. But that could also be changed. Bill and Alden could live on a nice ranch or something, so long as Bill puts in the work I could see it working. I did have a HC where I wondered if Bill was depressed, but I am aware it's very likely he's just smelly and lazy. But I like the idea of him being able to function better if he had meaning in his life. Or they could both be living in Tahiti, they just need a little more faith and money aha A very interesting question though! Sorry if I didn't answer it very well

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

This is why we can't have nice things as a fandom. Apparently for too many people it's impossible to sympathise both with Ed and Izzy, even though the show wants us to do precisely that. This is a show about pirates who are violent and terrible people by our standards, but who are also hurt and sensitive and can become better people if given safety and love and room to grow. But somehow Ed stans think this applies only to Ed and not Izzy - the character who literally had his own major arc in S2 that went along this theme. And, as usual, they can't constructively disprove any criticism of Ed without resorting to accusations of racism.

Yes, we're absolutely supposed to sympathise with Ed and hate Izzy in S01E10. But if you think the toe cutting scene was meant to be a gleeful revenge fantasy girlboss moment, you have zero media literacy. What about that scene's vibe suggests to you that you're supposed to cheer for Ed here instead of feeling scared and sorry for him? Yeah, he took his revenge on Izzy, hoorah. And this brought him exactly zero peace and happiness. And minutes before that he killed Lucius. Yes, Lucius survived, but Ed didn't know that. He intended to kill him. Funny how none of Ed's stans ever mention it - even though the show itself did, a lot. Lucius's trauma was a major side story in the season. And the show went out of its way to underline how blind revenge doesn't work to make you feel better. It didn't help Lucius any more than it helped Ed. Pushing Ed off the ship didn't "liberate or empower" Lucius or healed his trauma, any more than repeatedly mutilating Izzy healed Ed's.

I genuinely don't understand how anyone can watch S2 and believe that we weren't meant to sympathise with Izzy and the rest of the crew. They couldn't have spelled it out more clearly. One of the first scenes in the season is Izzy breaking down and the crew comforting him which was meant to show just how bad things got with Ed - bad enough that the crew now sided with the man they used to hate and tried to kill only weeks ago. Izzy had been a major dick to them, but now he was the only beacon of sanity on the ship that could protect them from Ed. That's what the purpose of that scene was. Those people were supposed to hate Izzy but even they now felt sorry for him for losing more toes. They clearly did not find Izzy's continued mutilation "liberating and empowering". They literally risked their lives to save Izzy's life behind Ed's back. Because, as Jim said, this was the kind of crew they wanted to be. One who valued life and love, not death and hate.

And the reason Izzy was about to lose the fourth toe was because he stood up for the crew to Ed, defending their refusal to throw out the loot. I can't believe it even needs to be said that you are, in fact, supposed to be on Izzy and the crew's side with this one. If you still hate Izzy in S2, then do you also hate the crew for, you know, not wanting to be put through gruelling raids literally for no reason, or to be forced to fight each other to death, or to resist Ed trying to take them along with his suicide mission? Do you not feel sorry for Fang for breaking down into tears over this whole madness? Do you think they're all just faking their PTSD flashbacks? Do you hate the crew for saving Izzy's life and giving him a new leg? Do you hate Lucius for being traumatised by Ed? Do you hate the crew for expecting Ed to atone for his behaviour? Do you hate Stede for agreeing with the crew and holding Ed responsible for earning the crew's trust again?

Finally left Twitter for good because I couldn't stop seeing the "Ed is irredeemable" takes. Like, yeah, in the real world cutting toes off is a bit much, but this is the same show where Ed begs Stede to stab him just because he wants to be held. The show doesn't ask us to take this violence the same way we would irl.

Plus, like. I'm on Ed's side here, obviously. S1e10 frames Ed as the victim in the whole situation. If someone told me to stop fagging it up or they'd call the cops on me again, I don't think I'd react half as patiently. Frankly, I applaud Ed for his restraint. I feel bad that Ed's obviously triggered and deeply hurting, but it still is definitely satisfying to see him get to fight back against a man who abused him and not be a perfect victim, and I'm tired of pretending it's not.

[wittywallflower]

Steddyhand modern AU where they oops themselves into a throuple.

Ed and Izzy are roommates who run a business together. They are kind of an on-again-off-again, open-ish polyam sorta-couple that has never once had even a second of healthy communication about their relationship in the twenty years they’ve known each other. 

Izzy meets Stede first because he actually attends the meetings for the local business owners association or whatever. Technically Stede should be competition but Izzy quickly decides he is an idiot and will probably go under soon. He’s weird as hell though, Ed would love that. 

Ed does love that. He is delighted by the crazy shit he hears about the new guy and wants to meet him. The two hit it off because of course they do. That wouldn’t even bother Izzy all that much except between their flirting and their dumb dates, Ed and Stede want to talk about cooperative business ventures. And the business, that’s Ed and Izzy’s thing. They’ve worked hard to build it, together, and Izzy works hard still to protect it. he doesnt want to risk it on some crazy scheme these two come up with just because Ed is bored. So yeah he hates Bonnet, but its not romantic jealousy (or is it?)

The tension between Stede and Izzy comes to a head one evening when they are both drunk and still seething over an argument they had earlier in the day. Drinking turns to shouting. Shouting turns to shoving. Only a couple punches are thrown but there;s a lot of undignified scuffling around on the floor. 

Izzy isn’t really sure later when wanting to rip Stede’s head off had turned into yanking that golden hair to pull him closer. Or who hungrily took whose lips first. He remembers a soft handkerchief cleaning his bloody nose on the short trip to the bedroom, remembers checking Stede’s split lip to assess if it could withstand further kissing. He doesnt remember how Edward inserted himself into the situation, but he does recall the man giggling as they tried to arrange the three of them on the bed and he nearly fell off the mattress. 

He remembers everything after that too. Every touch, every kiss, every gasp and moan and sigh. The shock of twenty fingertips softly exploring him was a sensation burned into his brain forever now. He remembered it all. And he didn’t regret a second of it, even if it would be easier to. 

No one says anything about it because thats just how Ed and Izzy are (emotionally incompetent) and Stede like just came out two months ago. He hasn’t dated since university and he’s certainly never had a threesome. He is completely unequipped to handle all this. So he just follows their lead.

So things mostly go on as normal with Stede and Ed spending time together and Izzy’s often around when they do. But Stede is a sweetheart, and a gentleman, and he also cannot stop thinking about how enjoyable that night was. It seems rude to not express that, but one doesn’t just say “thanks for that phenomenal sex”, do they? How does one, err, request a repeat?

Stede spots a gift he thinks Izzy might like and gives it to him. A short while later he notices the bag Izzy carries is nearly falling apart and replaces it with a nice satchel. Black leather, very cool, very much Izzy’s aesthetic, very much designer label and expensive as hell. 

Stede has to cancel a date with Ed one night, but orders an absolutely ludicrous amount of takeout delivered to their place anyway. A lot of it is Izzy’s favorites. 

Then there’s the concert tickets. He and Ed had given up hope of affording even nosebleed seats as soon as the tour had been announced, but Stede gets VIP, backstage passes, the works for all of them. Stede doesnt even like the band!

Izzy can’t take it anymore and has to ask Stede what the fuck. Why the gifts and the gestures and all this stuff? Is it just to butter Izzy up so he’ll agree to whatever dumb business idea the other two have? 

“I didn’t think I needed a reason to do nice things for my boyfriend!”

“...boyfriend?” Izzy asks, just utterly shocked. He’s echoed by Ed, who sounds less surprised and more… considering.

“Um. Yes?” Stede, to his credit, does immediately read the room and start to realize he may have misstepped. 

Izzy can’t even speak. 

“Are you.. is it wrong to call you that? I just thought.. i mean, after that night..” Stede blushes fiercely. “I call Ed my boyfriend, after all, and i care about you just as much as I do him…

Stede trails off with both men staring at him. 

Finally Ed chuckles. Izzy turns to scowl at him. 

“What? Don’t look at me, mate. I thought you two already had a totally different arrangement sorted out. I didn’t say anything about it because I figured you’d be embarrassed about having a sugar daddy.”

[tizzyizzy]

Good Ol’ Captain Izzy Hands

We tend to take for granted that Izzy is, by nature, a harsh taskmaster. Stern, tough, scary. He is a contrast to Stede's gentle approach, representing the abuses of pirate culture.

But most of the scenes with Izzy at his worst are on the Revenge. He's in an awkward position, managing crew who may or may not be killed later, his authority ambiguous with two captains, neither of which are paying pirating much mind. The crew are accustomed to Stede's management style and aren't receptive to Izzy's workaholic approach.

But in more neutral territory, how does Izzy lead, or try to lead?

The closest thing to a clean slate Izzy gets is when he ends up as captain of...sigh...”Izzy’s Revenge”. In this scene, he is shown indulging in a steak while the crew engage in hard (albeit actually necessary) labor. Everything about this scene is framed to make Izzy look like an asshole, and he is certainly coming off like one to the crew.

But what does Izzy actually say? He’s trying to set the tone for his entire captaincy. This is his chance to make a kind of second first impression. He can choose to present himself in any way he chooses. Given that freedom, what does Izzy Hands say?

The thing about Captain Hands is, he's tough, yeah. But also, he's fair... as Ivan and Fang can attest to. Needs more salt. All right, all right. Listen up, listen up! Work hard, keep a spring in your step, and you'll all have a long tenure aboard... "Izzy's Revenge."

This is delivered smiling with an almost cheerful tone.

These aren’t the words of a guy who wants to be feared or hated by his crew. He’s even trying to be reassuring and encouraging. Sure, he’s tough, but he’s fair. If you do your job and work hard, you can expect to have “a long tenure”. He even says “keep a spring in your step”. You could imagine Stede saying some of this stuff.

Unfortunately, just because Izzy wants to be a good captain who is liked by his crew does not mean he’s able to get it. Unlike Blackbeard, he lacks confidence and charisma. Unlike Stede, he doesn’t understand the value of gentleness or the importance of free time. The moment he’s made a joke out of, he loses his cool, administering a harsh punishment that makes him look weak (oversensitive) and like an asshole (too harsh). He also chose the worst optics possible, what with having his dinner in front of the working crew.

We see him behave in a similar manner in episode 10, when he’s trying to reassure the crew that everything is just fine and Edward is not having a nervous breakdown. He’s got the forced smile, the cheery tone, the attempt at reassurance. And when he’s questioned, out of panic to distract the crew from the Ed situation or defensiveness, he spits his drink out onto the deck.

I think these moments go to show the veracity of some of Con O’Neill’s statements about his portrayal of Izzy. Izzy does want to be good! His first instinct is to try to be positive! But he can’t keep it up. He’s afraid of being questioned, being mocked, being disobeyed, and tries to gain respect with aggression. He’s awkward, cringy, and gives others a poor impression. No wonder he’s so clingy when it comes to his single friend who tolerates him. No wonder he’s an object of ridicule! Not nice enough to be liked, not feared enough to be respected!

There’s lots of room for interesting development here. Like Stede, he’s a kind of outcast with a mean nickname bestowed upon him. He seems to act out partially out of fear of others, so what might happen if he’s around people who he realizes he can trust? Maybe he can actually learn some leadership skills. Even some basic social skills would be nice, poor thing.