#he wants to be your husband soooooo fucking bad and you’re not even dating

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

roommate!sugu drabble is simmering slowly >:33 gonna post it later today !!!! he’s . a loverboy. a loserboy.

[klanced]

soooooo i was late on asking for the second movie but i call dibs for whenever ur organized enough to infodump it: What Happens In The /Third/ Movie Katie Klanced?

I meant to post this last year but then I got suspended and forgot smh -_-

Anyway it’s been almost a year, so here are a few links to refresh your memory on the masterpiece that is my Despicable Me au. In fact, here’s the tag because I love this au.

In my correct opinion, the third DM movie is definitely the weakest in the franchise, and I pretty much ignored its canon plot and wrote my own. So sorry if there’s a few loose-ends/plot-holes. But this is a Despicable Me au, I am beholden to no gods, no rules.

Roughly a year has passed since the events of the second movie. Coran and Alfor have finally gotten together (they’re either dating or married, I haven’t decided yet). Allura is away at college because I have way too many characters on my hands and I have to sideline out of necessity. Sorry, Allura.

The movie opens up with the entire family getting ready for an award ceremony at the AVL happening that night. It’s about as hectic a scene as you can imagine. Lance is running around without a shirt on. Pidge is wearing three shirts. One is her pajama top, the second is Lance’s aforementioned missing shirt. No one has any idea where the third shirt came from.

When suddenly, the phone rings!

Krolia picks it up, paying only 1/3 attention to the person on the line before she yells that it’s for Coran. Coran limps over, half a chewed shoe in his hand, the other half still on his foot. His right eyebrow is smoking. He is, understandably, a little terse when he shouts to be heard over the background din into the phone.

The screen diagonally bisects, to show Coran on the phone and… Shiro on the other side of the line!

Shiro introduces himself as the new CPS worker assigned to Lance/Hunk/Pidge’s case. Coran immediately has a heart attack and runs to his soundproofed study, slamming the door behind him as Shiro continues to just. Awkwardly talk on the phone lol.

Coran, internally: oh shit oh shit oh FUCK oh shit why now why nowwww oh lord is he calling to take away the kids? is he going to take away my BABIES??

Shiro: sorry for the late phone call sir, i meant to call earlier but i dropped my phone in a puddle and- i mean! the life of a cps worker is just packed hahahahahahahahahaah (WHY are you still laughing you IDIOT) ha-ahem! anyway. i’m the new cps worker, have i mentioned that yet? because i am. it’s just that, after we realized that the kids’ last foster home and agent let a supervillain just walk out with them - uh, no offense, sir! i just meant that, well, supervillains are generally understood to be bad- not to imply that you’re evil of course! Haha of Course Not, even though you were Literally voted the world’s most evil and accomplished supervillain several years in a row, but! That’s neither here nor there. Of course. :)

DM!Verse Shiro is a bit of a nervous doof but he also has a spine of steel when it comes to kids and making sure their living situations are safe. And he is very skeptical of Coran and his parenting skills, which is honestly pretty reasonable considering he’s an outsider looking in. 

I mean, someone who was arguably the world’s greatest villain suddenly deciding to move to suburbia with his three (stolen) adopted kids does… seem like a bit of a stretch. And pretty sus lmfao.

Coran and Shiro eventually stutter their way into a productive conversation and arrange for Shiro to conduct a home visit/other CPS survey stuff very soon. Coran politely bids Shiro farewell, hangs up the phone, and has a panic attack because suddenly it feels like all his worse fears are coming true. Because the other shoe has finally dropped.

Life has been so kind to Coran lately, between his loving marriage and his lovable kids. It’s sad to say, but he’d half-expected something like this to happen for a while. Because people like him don’t deserve this kind of uninterrupted happiness.

Alfor quietly knocks on the door and takes in the scene before him. Coran reaches out, and he immediately rolls to his husband’s side.

Coran collapses against him and catches him up to speed. There’s a pause as Alfor pauses, absorbs, and digest the information, before he starts making calming shushing noises.

Insert Supportive Spouse Speech. Alfor reminds Coran that, for all he’s done in the past, he has damn well earned his present life. Alfor can attest to that, as can Krolia and, most importantly, their children. 

It also doesn’t hurt that the internationally recognized Anti-Villain League is both a sponsor of and willing to provide a character reference for Coran. That counts for something, and Coran finally calms down.

This is what we in the writing business like to call “foreshadowing” :)

Scene cut to the AVL award ceremony. Krolia and Coran are both being recognized for their incredible heroics from the past year, etc etc, blah blah blah. Their speeches are very true to their character.

At the end of it, Kolivan goes up and stage and announces he’s retiring. Krolia, who knew this was happening in advance and fully expects to be named as his replacement, starts checking her lipstick in her hand mirror- only for Kolivan to introduce a ‘Commander Hira’ to the crowds.

FML, this is exactly the plot to the Spongebob Squarepants movie.

The entire Wimbleton Smythe-Altea Family freeze, mid-applause. Hunk awkwardly puts away his ‘CONGRATULATIONS KROLIA!!!!!!!!’ banner. Krolia shatters her hand mirror in her fist.

Within her first month, Hira makes some dramatic changes to the AVL. One of which is the agency’s complete separation from anything having to do with villains, including its rehabilitation program.

“Once a villain always a villain” essentially. Hira insists that villains are simply too evil to ever truly become good again, and that so-called “former” criminals are simply biding their time until they can enact their revenge.

As a result, Coran is fired. Alfor protests Hira’s decision, and resigns out of solidarity. Krolia calls Hira a bitch and is also fired.

The kids are ecstatic that their dads + aunt are home 24/7 now. Krolia is less pleased. She’s been an active agent for more than half her life, so this sudden and forced turn for domesticity has her clawing at the walls.

One of the sub-plots is Alfor trying to convince Coran to become a superhero, “just like the old times.” (Coran: Love, I was literally your supervillain arch-nemesis).

Coran is hesitant, because 1) He still has low self-value and doesn’t see himself as a hero, and 2) He’s perfectly content to mooch off his billionaire boyfriend and spend his time as a stay-at-home dad.

To take their mind off their sudden unemployedness, Coran and Alfor throw themselves into preparing for Shiro’s house visit. This mainly entails Alfor calming Coran down from an anxiety attack every other hour. 

There is a lot of tension in the house.

And then, like magic! An invitation to the biggest supervillain symposium of the year appears, because villain mailing lists are especially evil and refuse to take Coran off their register even though he literally arrests villains for a living.

“So you’re telling me,” Krolia says, and Coran instinctively inches for the door. “That you’ve had an opening into the world’s biggest villain convention, this entire time, and you didn’t tell anyone?”

“W-e-ll,” Coran stutters, slapping blindly behind him for the doorknob, “It just didn’t seem very fair, you know? To ambush them like that, all because of their lazy office workers. That’s not very good sport.”

Krolia and Alfor try to convince Coran that he should go. Krolia is convinced this is the in they need to reclaim their jobs; they’ll infiltrate the Supervillain Symposium, arrest all the biggest bads, call the AVL, rub it in Hira’s face, take a selfie while she’s sobbing in the background, celebrate as the masses drag Hira to the guillotine-

Coran: Krolia I love you, I really do. But you have issues.

Krolia: I happen to be perfectly adjusted for someone in my situation.

Coran is still hmming and hawwing because, now that he doesn’t have to fight villains for a living, he quite likes Not Being In Constant Danger. But then Krolia reminds him that he is both unemployed AND now blacklisted by the AVL, two things which might very well doom him in the eyes of Shiro (and the rest of CPS). He needs to do this if he wants his job back and, therefore, keep his kids.

(…. At some point, Coran shaves off his mustache in a stress-filled attempt at appearing as a better guardian, but no one recognizes him so he has to wear a fake mustache for the rest of the movie)

Coran of course is immediately super gung-ho for this plan and declares they’re leaving ASAP.

The kids of course are raring to go, the adults are vehemently hell no to that idea, and in the ensuing argument everyone forgets that Shiro is coming today. 

A series of events thus follows, which can be summarized as:

The adults say that the kids can’t come.

The kids decide that yes, in fact, kids can come and plan accordingly.

The kids are preparing to tail after the adults (after waiting a reasonable amount of time of course (this isn’t their first rodeo) in their own modified plane when they hear what sounds like their babysitter, the Reformed Lotor, coming around the corner.

The kids immediately go into attack mode only to realize, after the dust has settled, that they’ve actually knocked out Shiro.

In their infinite pre-teen wisdom, the kids decide to stick with the plan and load Shiro into their equivalent trunk and take off.

A few moments later, Lotor finally arrives, looks up from his phone, realizes there are no kids to be watched, and shrugs and goes home.

The scene cuts to Shiro groggily stumbling out of the corner the kids have stashed the plane in, only to realize, to his absolute horror, that he’s on an island filled with Supervillains attending a Supervillain Convention.

Hunk: Man… I feel like we forgot something.

*Shiro screaming in the distance*

For brevity’s sake I’ll cut off here, but just know that this is only the FIRST THIRD (IF EVEN THAT) of the movie. I am absolutely off the CHAINS. I still haven’t even introduced Keith yet. I love this au.

[canaryatlaw]

Alright, I should get this written so I can actually go to sleep. Today was alright, not the best but not bad. I woke up to my alarm at 10:55 (again, setting up my schedule so I could sleep in multiple days a week was SUCH a good decision) then got ready and made my way down to the DV courthouse for my last shift for the time being, I’m hoping to get back there at some point depending on how the next few months play out. There was an amusing interaction with the sheriffs at the metal detector by the front where one of them was like ‘you work here?” and looking kinda doubtful and the other one was just like “oh yeah, she works here, she’s good” and the first one was like “well if you’re gonna vouch for her she must be good” 😂 it makes life much easier when you can get on the sheriff’s good side, so I try my best to stay there. Got to the clinic, ended up waiting almost an hour for a case, which I spent looking at the secured transactions flashcards I have written up so far. There’s no wifi at the courthouse (grr cook county why) so I just had it pulled up in a tab and was looking at them. I’m definitely going to need to listen to some lectures on the subjects, because there’s only so much I can take in from reading words without an actual explanation of how these things work. But around 1:30 I got pulled in for a case, I was the first one of the volunteers (there were probably like 4 or 5 of us) to get a case, so that made me happy lol I know they give me the more difficult ones because they know I know what I’m doing and they very much appreciate that, lol. It was a fairly typical case, woman filing against the father of her children (they had six kids together) because he wouldn’t stop showing up at her house like every single day, banging on the door and demanding to see her, so obviously that’s not great. He was also like, regularly climbing into her house through a window he had broken, like she’d come home and he’d just be in her house waiting for her, I was a little worried about whether it would be granted or not at first because harassment cases tend to be kind of a toss up, but as we got further into it and there were some physically violent incidents along with threats like “I’m going to do to you what your sister’s husband did to her” because her sister was killed by her husband. so yeah, not great stuff lol. What was really frustrating was when we looked her up in the system, this was like, the 6th year in a row she’s come to file for an order, and each time the case just kinda fell through the cracks, she’d miss a court date and it’d be dismissed, or they couldn’t serve him, just procedural errors that reflect the incompetence of the system.  But we got everything printed and filed, then had to wait quite a while because there was a backlog, which then of course meant once we got to the courtroom there were a ton of people ahead of us, because we were one of the last ones to file since we started an hour late. As soon as we walked into the courtroom and I saw the judge I was like 😑😑😑😑😑😑 she’s probably my least favorite judge currently at the courthouse, I know I’ve talked about her on here before because I’ve had past cases go bad in front of her. She’s young, really young, like she looks like she couldn’t be more than 30 but I know if she’s a judge she’s gotta be at least like, 35, all of which I bring up because younger judges often feel insecure in their positions and then end up overcompensating by lashing out at people. This judge was just extremely condescending and rude, treating the victims like idiots and insisting she take control of the entire process, instead of allowing them to speak she has to control the narrative and if it didn’t fall into her already decided model, then well that sucks for you. I started getting a little more worried at this point because I know the way the affidavit was written could be misleading if they didn’t read it properly (and by properly I mean reading the whole damn affidavit, which seems to be too difficult for some judges 😑), and if she wouldn’t let my client explain it could look like the situation was a lot less extreme than it actually was. So we finally get called, one of the last, it’s at least 5 pm at this point. so my client goes up, and the judge starts being super obnoxious and just snaps at her over literally nothing (she was mad the client would say “yes” before she finished her question???? like that’s not something to get bent out of shape over) and ended up passing the case and said she’d recall it in a minute, which was just like ??? really?? was that necessary?? So my client comes back and she’s like truly bewildered as to what had just happened and what she’d done wrong, and she started crying because she was tired and stressed and just wanted to get through this, and I got really mad because she had been doing so well the entire day, it’s a fairly regular occurrence for people to break down while telling us their story, but she had been doing really well, so seeing this happen when we were so close to the end was really fucking frustrating. but one of the female sheriffs I’m friendly with and I were able to get her to calm down a bit until the case got called again, and I was basically like I know she’s crazy but just humor her for now. So she goes up and I’m really having my fingers crossed this doesn’t blow up in our faces. They get through the introductory questions okay, then she looks at the affidavit and starts questioning why it had taken her a week to come in from the last incident, but she at least allowed my client to explain that him showing up has been a daily occurrence for months now, and that he’d regularly come inside her house without permission, and that seemed to be enough to sway the judge, so she granted the order and I really just had a big sigh of relief, that at least it was over and we got a positive outcome, even if I was still hopping mad about how my client was treated. like seriously, you’re in a courthouse that’s specifically dedicated to domestic violence, you’re dealing with victims here, not criminals, and there is absolutely no excuse for losing your temper on someone who has been brave enough to come here and try to protect themselves when that is really a huge feat. There’s just no fucking excuse. I noted it on my court report I filled out afterwards, but I kinda doubt that is ever going to be taken into consideration because sadly judges are largely untouchable, even when they act inappropriately. sigh. at least we won in the end, and hopefully this one will stick, she seemed very determined that she was going to handle this and I believed her. So we went back downstairs and I tried to control myself but basically exploded at my supervisor about the judge, which she fully understood lol so that helped a bit. But I headed out, it was like 5:45 at this point and The Flash came on at 7, so I was in a bit of a rush. But I walk down to the train station and while waiting for the train I ran into a friend from church who happens to be a lawyer as well, both him and his wife are and they work in public interest law, and they’re just super cool people, so I talked to him for a few minutes about how mad I was mostly haha before the trains showed up and we went in different directions. Train to the bus, bus is slow, so by the time I got home it was like 6:52, so I ran inside and turned on the tv, and was just able to heat up some food and sit down to watch the episode. I was of course excited for this episode because it had Leo in it, even if he’s not *my* Snart, he’s still a great character and I adore Wentworth Miller and his acting. There’s also the fact that we were getting Earth-X Black Siren, which I had mixed feelings about, partially because after the crossover I got really mad that they hadn’t written earth-x Laurel as part of the rebellion, and right after Sara had the confrontation with evil Lance they end up at the rebel HQ and both of them are faced with the sister they had lost and like, tell me that’s not an absolutely brilliant plan for a scene. So knowing they didn’t do that ticked me off, though I guess it makes sense that if Tommy and Oliver were evil Laurel might be too, but I thought her sister being murdered by Nazis would be enough to make her part of the rebellion, but oh well. As far as the actual episode goes, I enjoyed it for the most part, Leo was well used, his lines were always very fitting and witty, and I liked how he just completely saw through Barry in like two seconds. I kinda had to laugh at little at them trying soooooo hard to convince us that the entire team was so broken up about losing Ralph when like, nobody in the audience fucking cares about him and most are glad he’s “dead” (I’m pretty certain they’re gonna bring him back). Siren-X’s powers were pretty cool, the superhearing thing was awesome, and she seemed to be very power as far as her canary cry (siren cry?) goes. I really did like the climax moment when both Leo and Barry are down and Leo just cuts through the crap and gets to Barry, getting him to save the day, I liked it a lot. I feel like Siren-X could’ve been used more, though tbh I really didn’t need a Nazi version of Laurel Lance when we already have an evil version of her. Is there an earth out there where Laurel has powers and is a good person? Because that I’d like to see. Anyway. As soon as that was over I switched to Rise since Black Lightning is over now I can watch that live. It was an okay episode, didn’t really do anything for me, kinda felt like more of a filler than anything else. I laughed when there were like “it’s tech week!” and they hadn’t done a full run through of the show yet because on the one hand I’ve legit opened shows without having done a full run through, but on the other the idea of a school musical with that big of a cast to have not done a full run through until tech is fucking nuts. I also kept laughing at how much the principal was concerned about ticket sales, because ticket sales to the school musical are *obviously* such a huge source of income to the school that he should be this concerned about it (most schools would be lucky if they break even on the money put into the show by ticket sales). So yeah, not my favorite episode, but not bad. After that I was out of current shows to watch so I went back to Game of Thrones which I haven’t watched in a while, and ended watching 2x02. Pretty good episode, I continue to love Arya and just how kick ass she is with everyone, and I’m curious to know how this all plays out. I will say I was kinda confused by the last scene, because I admittedly had not been paying all that much attention, but it looked like Jon Snow was getting chased by a crying baby ?? Lol, that was an amusing thought. I had been slightly distracted because I was officially switching over my twitter account, which meant I was soft blocking all the IRL people to move them to my other account so my old one will just be for internet peeps. So I got that done and ended up being down like 120 followers 😂 but since I unfollowed a bunch of people that count had gone down as well so the disparity isn’t that big. I also changed my handle to match my URL here, so if you want to look me up my @ADACanary there. I have my account temporarily on private just so IRL people don’t get confused, but if you request me and you’re not an IRL person and like, don’t look like a super creeper (lol) I’ll approve you. But yeah, after that I basically started getting ready for bed and here we are. I have a 9:30 am PT appointment tomorrow, so hopefully I’ll at least have more time to study than I would’ve if I had slept in till like, noon lol. And yeah, we’ll go from there. I’m way tired now so I’m gonna head to bed. Goodnight my loves. Sweet dreams.

[rogue-rook]

many highlights from The Eleventh Hour from a first-time TAZ listener

featuring bits from Lunar Interlude III: Rest and Relaxation

oh god is this lunar interlude a goddamn ASMR experience

are carey fangbattle and killian dating?

i’m almost 100% sure griffin said “fisticups” instead of “fisticuffs”

griffin: “okay, you spend the next few weeks learning from carey” oh, okay griffin, i see, we’re taking the LAZINESS route on this campaign now. maybe there were some good snorlaxes to catch on that route or something, but now we’ll never know!

a semi-incomplete list of words that griffin has made up during TAZ: “cruft, geezers creezers, and scrumbled” except scrumbled was stolen from justin

my first thought when i realized taako and sweet ango were going to be spending this interlude together was “oh no taako is about to just bully the goddamn earwax out of sweet ango”

I JUST REALIZED ANGUS MACDONALD IS 10 GODDAMN YEARS OLD. where are his parents??? he had a grandpa who died, right? who’s taking care of him? did lucretia kidnap him to illegally “employ” THIS LITERAL CHILD at the bureau of balance??

WAIT IS LUCRETIA HIS MOM?

taako just called sweet ango “agnes”

THE UMBRA STAFF JUST TOOK CONTROL AND BLASTED “LUP” INTO THE WALL AND IM LIKE LUP!!!! ITS LUP!!!

the Hole-Thrower is a goddamn genius object but i wish it wasn’t just for “non-magical, non-living” things bc i wanna see taako throw a hole into an enemy

magnus: “i want a black mastiff” griffin: “but you know, theres’s no dogs on the moon!”

the grubby grifters went over budget at the fantasy costco and griffin's voice like animorph-style changed into garfield the deals asshole‘s voice and im like. uncomfortable

travis: “i’m now a level 8 fighter and a level 2 rogue” “which i think makes sense for magnus bc you’re a protecting guardian but you’re also kinda a nasty boy on that battlefield”

the grubby grifters are the only bureau employees not to be super choked up about boyland’s death and im like “hey maybe you assholes shouldn’t have tried to desecrate his crystalized corpse”

WIVES AND HUSBANDS AND STUFF

if the voidfish is either nice or neutral, then it singing to magus is adorable

if the voidfish turns out to be evil, then it singing to magnus is super super ominous

the director: “avi had to miss boyland’s rites of remembrance” merle: “i didn’t know that was an option"

names suggested for the woven gulch before griffin decided that: dry bones, gucci gulch, the taint, the devil’s taint, ravine, gulch, the blasted lands, the not-blasted lands, the flavor-blasted lands, the grandd canyon (not a typo), the taco bell grande canyon, the arid waste, tattoine

all the grubby grifters: “SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS!”

taako: "thanks garfield, can we leave now?" "I WISH YOU WOULD"

sweet ango has to launch the grubby grifters down to the woven gulch and he’s so terrified and im like ango, they should be more nervous, they’re yOUR BULLIES!!

magnus: “we don’t have to mean EVERY time!” okay, magnus, that’s rich coming from you, seeing as you’ve been the worst to angus

travis: “you as the DM didn't remind your players” griffin: “oh i didn't know this was a baby game for CHILDREN”

magnus: “what it we just didn't attack them this round and just saw what they did?” merle: “WHO ARE YOU??”

griffin: “it's kind of rustic” magnus: “FINALLY, MY RUSTIC FOLK HERO THING WILL WORK AND PEOPLE WILL LIKE ME!!!”

“by their sacrifice, our home is made safe” WHAT THE FUCK!

griffin: “where the robe it, it has been stained or oxidized, turning it a bright crimson red" "oh.....like...the bad guys...” YALL THAT’S SO. THAT’S SOME SHIT. THAT’S SOME MYSTERIOUS SHIT

taako: “okay, cool, I’m not into labels either” yooooooo 

i googled the map griffin made for the town of Refuge and hot damn, that’s a well made map

magnus: “i rolled a 10 [on a perception check]” griffin: “you're in a prison cell with bars on it” merle: “i rolled a 1″ griffin: “you are in a cube shaped place”

griffin: “and then all three of you, have died” WHAT IN THE FUCK????? WHAT THE HELL??? WHAT????

THE SET UP OF THIS ARC IS BOMB AS HELLLLLLLLLLLLL

the fact that paloma sounds like bjork tells me that griffin is just straight up running out of different accents

[merle continues to sing to the tune of book of mormon] travis: “clinton. you just got clocked by a shovel”

justin: “i’m gonna delete the video i was making about how to do an infinite diamond glitch in the adventure zone”

griffin: “there are many rocks piled up” justin: “mini rocks are actually called pebbles, griffin”

griffy set up this quarry locker room tripwire puzzle exactly like a fucking game of hangman! the most deadly game of hangman ever

griffin: “lemme just say that diamonds are the currency of this town. you wouldn’t go to the US treasury to get dollars fresh from the printing press” justin: “what, you want me to get a part time job??” griffin: “i wouldn't hate it”

griffin: “i just agreed to what dad said without really processing what it was that he said, and what he said was the name "bjork" as bork” clint: “you gotta watch that shit, griffin” griffin: “i was almost an accomplice to that heinous act”

the grubby grifters just unquestioningly trust paloma the bjork witch without any sort of investigation checks or ANYTHING and im like what if she’s evil, my dudes. what if she’s leading you astray

griffin: “the human spell library, clint mcelroy”

griffin: “if you can just instantly bring back any dead person to life, it may reduce the narrative stakes of the adventure zone podcast A BIT!” AH SHIT SON!!

magnus: “im gonna....cut his arm off” griffin: “OH MY GOD!! YOU LOVE THIS SHIT! YOU’RE A PERVERT! YOU'RE EXPOSING EVERYONE TO YOUR FETISH!!”

istus is cool and awesome and she knits but all this shit she’s talking about it is just context-less gibberish

“you’re going to be amazing” AT WHAT, MOTHERFUCKER? YOU’RE COOL AND YOU HANDED OUT BOMB ASS GIFTS BUT WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

hot damn yall. this time chalice is trying to PERSUADE the grubby grifters and my evil bullshit meter thinks this is SUPER HELLA SUSPENSEFUL

AW SHIT! BACKSTORIES!

damn this chalice is so tempting. i can’t even imagine

these backstories are heartbreaking. im blown away by the way the mcelroys have crafted this part of the story, and so so sad. especially about magnus

“its not what julia would want” travis stop making me feel these things

magnus: “noelle ended up with a new shiny robot body!” taako: “an unkillable robot! I'd call that an upgrade!”

oh no the chalice is forcing them to watch the destruction of phandolin, what an asshole

magnus: “i’m gonna throw a whole bunch of robot arms into him” griffin: “okay, so you just have a hefty bag full of roboid arms??” 

merle: “we owe a big one to penumbra" magnus: "paloma"

magnus: “we gotta jump” roswell: “this is a shitty shitty shit shit plan, i hope you know that” i love roswell’s instinctive reaction when presented with a dumb idea, which is to respond with pure immediate honesty and tell the grubby grifters that their ideas are dumb as hell

this worm fight is bizarre as fuck, what the fuck are they even DOING???

aw the weird worm just wanted to escape the bubble so it could get back to its babies! that’s...almost adorable. if it wasn’t a giant fucking worm

oh good. the red robe is back. cool cool cool cool cool

magnus: “you’re proud of us? what? you’re a red robe, you’re one of the bad guys?” the red robe: “who told you that?”

GRIFFIN JUST CALLED IT A LICH!!!!!

the red robe said “lup, they don’t trust me. lup i can’t do it anymore” and “the next time we meet, i’ll need you to trust me completely. the hunger is almost here, and all this could be lost” YALLL IM CONFUSED ASSSS FFFUCKKKK BUT IM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHOEVER THE FUCK THIS PARSELTONGUE MOTHERFUCKER IS!!

well taako got a prophecy saying he would one day get power from “the man wreathed in flames” so like im pretty goddamn sure the parseltongue motherfucker is barry bluejeans. there’s a lich around, barry got blasted to hell by gundren rockseeker, and the red robe wants the grubby grifters to trust him, so like 2+2+2 probably equals barry fucking bluejeans here

the fact that they got to watch over the town of refuge for 7 years was soooooo sweet!!!!

hot damn the red robe’s been protecting magnus this whole time???

travis asking istus why there’s long gaps in their memories like hey trav griffy doesn’t want you or me or anyone else to know yet, but good try!

magnus: “if you get bored, there's this half-moon thing in the sky, you can come hang out with us” taako: “yeah most birds can fly to the MOON!”

kravitz!!! anytime kravitz shows back up is a GOOD GODDAMN TIME!! because i love kravitz

the red robe in the statue in Refuse HAS MAGNUS’S FACE!!!

i have literal goddamn chills. that is so good

this was a very odd meandering arc and i didn’t know what the hell was going on half the time but it was super super super enjoyable and some of the plot shit got me HYPED AS HELL

[avengerdragoness]

Sentence Starter Masterlist

Batfamily:

Jason Todd:

“You deserve a world without this”

"Guns? Ha! Last I remember, you had string bean arms!"

“It’s not that funny.”

“I know you liked it when they were hitting on you.” "If you would do it I would like it better" "Wait, what" "What"

"If you're not there when this baby comes, I'm going to take that gun, and shove it so far up your--"

"open it" "can you say please?"

"real smooth, tripping over air"

"Alright guys time to play truth or dare"

"well, that was... interesting"

"where have you been"

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“If you shove cake in my face this will be the worst wedding night of your life.”

“After everything you did, you’re asking ME to apologize for snapping at you ONCE?”

"I know I said I’d get up with the kid in the morning but I’m hoping you can’t tell I’m fake sleeping and hoping you will do it instead"

"It helps that my competition is attractive."

“I’d die for you. Of course, I’d haunt you in the afterlife but really, it’s the thought that counts.”

"I bet I could beat you in wrestling match"

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

"Yeah, because fighting crime wearing the colors of a traffic light is soooooo stealthy."

“I met your parents and your mom was flirting with me. "

"I am not jealous, I'm territorial. Jealous is when you what something you can't have, territorial is protecting what is yours."

"Get over here, Jason 'Crush Me With Your Thighs' Todd!"

"ITS PLATINUM!!!"

"Wait, you're not a virgin? do you even stay awake long enough for sex?"

"you can't just go around killing people"

"So tell me: do all vigilantes lurk or is this just a part of your unique charm?"

"Am I really gonna be a father to an actual human being?"

"Put the water balloon down."

“You’re cute when you’re angry.”

Dick Grayson:

“I did a pregnancy test.”

“You can’t banish me! This is my bed too!”

"What do you mean I can't stay up until 4 am reading? You've stayed up later risking your life in a ridiculous costume!"

"If you sing that song one more time I will fight you"

“I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

"I swear to god if you don't get off the chandelier right now"

"love first of all  if you're wearing that kilt to slag me off for me Irish heritage I'm not one fucking bit impressed and second KILTS ARE FUCKING SCOTTISH ugh but you do look the ride in it , i have to say wait there I'm posting a pic of it this gonna be great craic"

"IVE BEEN STANDING IN THIS SHOP FOR TWO FUCKING HOURS TRYING TO DECIDE BETWEEN SMARTIES OR SKITTLES DONT RUSH ME !"

“What do you want me to do with this?”

"You know you have to worst name ever"

"Where do you run off to every day?" 

Tim Drake:

“Is there a problem?” “Is there a special reason, as to why you’re wearing my shirt?”

"No, nothing's wrong, I was just fangirling, carry on."

"You should know by know that if you leave your cape laying around, I don't care if it's for 'superhero business', I'm going to wrap it around myself like a blanket."

“You drowned my makeup in water so I used my key to scratch all of your video game discs.”

"stop it, stop whatever the hell your doing"

'please stop staring at that stupid computer and talk to me'

"You're not meeting my boyfriend, Tim, because I'd like to date him a while before my brother kills him."

“This is your twentieth cup of coffee are you trying to break a world record or something?“

"I found you passed out, face down in a pile of coffee cups, are you ok?"

"You have to be cheating! No one is that good poker!"

"There's nothing wrong with taking a break"

"You should really get out of the house more, I almost attacked you thinking you were a vampire. And no patrol doesn't count, get some sunlight."

Damian Wayne:

“Damn, when did y/n get hot?”

"We’re camping and you think you lost the kid but they’re napping in the tent and I’m not telling you yet so you watch them better next time" 

"Damian, are you sure your dad is going to be ok with us sneaking a monkey into the Manor?"

“Before you decide to murder me, let me explain…”

“His ego is so visible; I can almost watch it grow.”

“When you love someone, you don’t just stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Especially then!”

“Do you ever follow directions?”

"dami ..I can't find my reading glasses have you seen them ?"

"I was trained by the masters of the League of Assassins and Ra's Al Ghul himself I DO NOT SING"

"we are not going to steal someone's dog"

"i'm allowed to be obssesed with you, im your husband"

"Why is there a deer in the mansion."

"I'm better at handling swords than you"

“So that’s why you’re always gone... you’re fighting crime in tights...”

"Wait... are you actually trying to stab me with a spoon?"

"Do I have to?"

"Don't worry beloved my family will love you, if anything I'm worried about them scaring you off"

Batfam:

"Not to point out the elephant in the room, but is that a literal elephant in the room?"

                   <-------------------------------------------->

CW DC:

Barry Allen:

"Cisco I don't need you to hit on them for me."

"I don't care how much a speedster needs to eat, you touch my food, and we're going to have a problem."

"everyone can tell you lover her, it's obvious"

“im NOT jealous, but he was flirting with you"

"I'm so sorry to disturb you but....I ran out of toilet paper"

Wally West:

"you like her, don't you!" 

"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it"

Oliver Queen:

"are you jerking off or did you just find another book?"

Mon-El:

"Are you really jealous of a dog?"

"Mon-El, stop trying to make me blush, you jerk!"

Winn Schott:

"Winslow Schott, you do *not* get to saw I'm 'crabby' right now. If I seem to be in a bad mood, it's because *someone* decided to drag all the way to the DEO, first thing in the morning before I had a chance to have breakfast, without actually giving me a reason!"

                   <-------------------------------------------->

DC (Other):

Billy Batson:

"I'll give you your precious hoodie back, if you say the magic word!"

"How hasn't Bruce Wayne adopted you yet?"

"So...what happened EXACTLY?"

"y'know when you sneak around like that to transform you look super shady right?"

"You snuck into my room in the middle of the night to tell me something that could've waited till morning, woke me up by tripping over a small pile of books, and almost broke the most expensive thing I own. Remind me again why I shouldn't immediately call the cops on my best friend?" 

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Young Justice:

Wally West:

"I'd like to remind everyone to refrain from eating my food"

"I think you're just jealous cause you don't have magic powers! Or maybe you don't believe cause your so dependent on your precious science to explain everything!"

"I don't speak science, think you can translate for us non-nerds?"

Bart Allen:

"You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened to him"

"I'm from the past...I knew your cousin"

"We're about to die!"/"Comes with the job!"/”You're not helping!"

"You can't be serious"

"Hey, could you help me go over these case files-...you do not have a shirt on..."

"Who do i look like, Batman?"

"How are you always late?"

"Give me back my book!! You better not spoil it!!!"

"YOU CAN SING?!?!?!?!"

"You look good in yellow"

"I promise to tell you where your snacks went, if you promise not to get mad."

“are you sure about this”

"please don’t make me say it" 

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Marvel:

The Avengers:

"oops they saw it, well surprise I guess!"

Peter Parker:

"Don't be such a nerd Parker, we need to keep this professional and intimidating."

"You're that Bug Boy Jamison keeps talking about"

"You're an arachnophobe?"

“You're gonna get me killed!"

"I dare you to kiss him."

"Explain your powers to me again"

"Could you just get me down from here?!"

"These aren't even quips! They're just bad puns!"

"I cannot believe you of all people got us detention! I always thought it would be me."

"There's no such thing as bad publicity!"

"So, what's up with BugBoy over there?"

Steve Rogers:

"When were you planning to let me know what happened?!"

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Voltron:

Shiro:

“I’m like 20% sure this plan will work. The other 80% means we could die horribly and violently, but honestly it’s a really solid plan.”

“You’re so determined to protect yourself and your feelings, but what about me?”

“How is my wife more badass than me?”

"i lost our baby"

“Are you hitting on me?”

"...Why did you throw confetti in my face?"

Lance:

“I’m starting an idiot jar. Any time you do or say anything idiotic, you have to put at least a dollar in it—more depending on how stupid the thing that you said or did was.”

"Please tell me you aren't washing a metal, mechanical, slightly magical lion with soap and water?"

“How did you even get that there?“

Keith:

"How in the world did I get you to like me back?"

“I thought it was a good idea at the time, but it now occurs to me that I was horribly wrong.”

“Oh my god! You’re in love with them!” "No, Dumb-ass I'm in love with you"

"I can't believe you talked me into this."

"Keith, I love you, you know I do, but *please* tell me you didn't actually jump out of an airlock to get your lion."

“Why are you staring at me like that?” 

                   <-------------------------------------------->

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid:

"i need you to breath in and out with me, this anxiety attack will pass, i......"

"I don't care what you think you know, Spence, I'm *not* ticklish!"

"God, I hate profilers! You can never keep a secret from one."

[undeademoprincess]

82 Truths

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @hoseokjinns bruh this has been sitting in my drafts for how many eons????

name: Dawn blood type: b nickname(s): Celeste (cousins mainly) and then anything else is adding an e or i sound to the end of my name (tho i have noticed dawners is a frequent name) r/s: dead inside zodiac sign: libruh pronouns: she\her favorite tv shows: dude, i havent seen any tv shows since i was 8, that was well over a decade ago. i collect the dvd/blurays of tv shows but not often. my mother and i are really into futurama but other than that its usually animes that i collect long or short hair: literally lopped my hair off myself like 3 days ago height: 5′5″ do you have a crush on someone: if fictional characters count then yes, the husband list keeps growing and i need another closet to shove them in but real life im fighting a “battle” what do you like about yourself: i have yet to be called annoying or that im an ass to those i love and i support them with all i can, so ive got that going for me right or left handed: right, tho i am ambidextrous over weird ass shit. like gymnastics im left dominate in??? idfk either man list of three favourite colors: literally any color associated with fall/autumn and ill be a happy camper

right now: eating: just ate a cracker that had peanut butter on it cause im munchin hard drinking: sweet h2o man i’m about to: probably go to bed or i might work on my drafts for my writing blog, havent decided yet listening to: a mix about cats, love, breakfast and being tired by in love with a ghost (on youtube) kids: hell no, unless i know i can support the damn thing with all i can while living comfortably along with someone i KNOW wont leave both me and the kid and help me then maybe, but its still a really strong no. pets are fam tho, so technically i have like 5 kids already get married: down for that, annoying someone all the time as a “job” sounds fun, especially if we get late night adventures and do weird ass cooking class shit for fun. ITS IN THE CONTRACT YA KNOW career: i really want to travel the world and get paid to do so, but at my own pace

most recent: drink: water????? idk what you want from me man im a thirsty hoe for livin phone call: been on discord all day today with 2 of my best friends and listening to music with my bot the other half on it song you listened to: lauv reforget (literally just came on) 

have you ever: dated someone twice: no been cheated on: nope, and im not the type to let them get away with it if they ever did kissed someone and regretted it: no lost someone special: yes been depressed: yes, began at a very young age due to the death of my father. literally had a midlife crisis when i was 4 cause of his death been drunk and thrown up: hell no kissed a stranger: no had glasses or contacts: glasses had sex on the first date: no, not really my thing broken someone’s heart: i think so, never really ask how they felt about it afterwards turned someone down: yuuuup cried when someone died: yes fallen for a friend: mmmmm, not really??? i usually crush on an acquaintance and my friends drag them in and somehow become friends later??? 

in the last year have you: made a new friend: uuuuuh, maybe 3??? i dont like leaving my house nor do i like wasting my time on strangers, especially if theyre rude fallen out of love: yeah laughed until you cried: many times, MANY FUCKING TIMES met someone who changed you: uh, i think so??? idk, i kinda find my own flow in life and people either respect it and enjoy the ride with me or fight it, and i dont have the energy to deal with pointless shit found out who your true friends were: ooooh yeah found out someone was talking about you: humans talk, its natural. i dont really do anything but i can see why someone WOULD talk shit if thats what this is asking about kissed someone on your fb list: ew no

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes hugs or kisses: hugs, i like being warm shorter or taller: both have pros and cons romantic or spontaneous: both? both sensitive or loud: idk what the fuck this is asking about but if its about being around people who are loud or sensitive then neither, im sensitive to headaches so loud people irritate me and trigger the pain and ive had bad experiences in person with sensitive people where they dont leave me alone and wind up stalking me???? i love being alone so neither hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: one can be kinda fun but also a pain in the ass if they get you into trouble a lot and the other might not be as constantly fun per say but at least you shouldnt be in trouble as often 

first: best friend: Samantha surgery: thankfully nothing yet sport i joined: badminton  vacation: everything my parents did was while i was literally an infant soooooo yeah, greaaaaat memories

do you believe in: yourself: not all the time, but i rely on myself more than anyone else. i dont trust anyone for shit when i know damn well i can do it myself and know that if something goes wrong i myself fucked it up and can probably fix my mistake miracles: yes and no, i believe theres a reason for things to happen the way they do, and there are times i see it as miracles love at first sight: i believe in attraction at first sight, not immediately seeing someone soul or some shit heaven: im more for reincarnation and spiritual aspects in life and death

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: 90% of them do you have any pets: im not counting my outside pets because there are too many to even keep track of to count so my children are 5 cats, toto my conure, oz my dog, tubby my gecko, and a beta fish and a catfish do you want to change your name: if i ever did, which i dont want to do, it’d be either Celeste or Aurora (my mom actually debated on calling me aurora after like the disney princess if you will and funny enough shes always been my favorite princess) what did you do for your last birthday: 2 of my friends kidnapped me and took me to dinner and we drove around and looked at interesting things. this years its during ren faire and im so damn happy what time did you wake up today: 9 pm. im sick atm and its really fucking up my sleep schedule  what were you doing last night at midnight: just got out of a call with one of my best friends and sat on my own server for a bit chillin with my music bot before my other best friend joined my after like SIX HOURS, DAMN YOU SIMON something you can’t wait for: ren faire, getting married cause then i get to sweater slap someone and get away with it, and being comfortably happy in life last time you saw your mom: a few hours ago? i went to the kitchen to get my cat to love on her and saw her then what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: i wish i had more determination to see things through and not be scared to take the leaps to see it through have you ever talked to a person named tom: i worked in retail, so probably what’s getting on your nerves: a lot of things, mainly petty things. kinda wanna cut a toxic person out of my life but we all know thats easier said than done especially seeing how he talks to literally all of the people i talk with on a daily basis save one soul and he treated her like shit when he talked to her sooo yeah, dunno wtf is his problem but im tired of being the object of his frustration and anger, idk how the rest of my friends deal with his shit but im just so damn DONE

man im not taggin 25 people. if youd like to tag me as a “i found it from so and so” then go for it man, let youre dreams run free friend. im just a lazy sack of shit and am tired and im amazed im still up and that its TAKEN ME A MILLION DAMN YEARS TO DO THIS IM SO SORRY LEANNE

[become-the-story]

FIC RECOMMENDATIONS

So Here it is finally ! I will class them by genre and in no particular order of preference, tbh all of the things that will be listed down below are pure gold ! (under a cut because it’s gonna be soooooo long lmao) 

I did include au’s in the categories, but I decided to create an AU category anyway, just to put, well my fave ones, like the concept y’know

                                 SMUT (first things first imirite)

@tayegi : Okay so tbh just read all of her stories ? Like every each of them are amazing af, but let me tell you my faves :

Suga, Last Nite An amazing zombie!au

Taehyung, CodeName: Shadown Cat  I’m a sucker for au and this secret agent one got my heart

Suga ft Jungkook, Cobalt and Charcoal  this one got me shook af

 Equilibrum (m but not every chapter) a multiple chapters story, it’s amazing plus guess what ! It’s centered on Jimin & Jungkook yas

And of course, last but not the least, the legendar In Bloom with a beautiful Werewolf!au centered on Jungkook

Jimin, Fuck, Marry, or Kill, He ain’t only the cute little pup he looks like

New rules, fratboy!jungkook, you’re welcome

@exobtssmutimagination : ofc when it comes to smut this is basically my reference blog lol ! Sadly they’re on hiatus right now, but if you go to their masterlist, you have a lot to go through ! Once again, basically all of their smut is great mate ! But here you go for my faves :

The better lover (pt1) An amazing serie (4 parts I think ?) starring the maknae line !

Caught red handed PET NAMES ! A nice smut with our pervy leader Namjoon !

A little fun during rehearsal not really a smut, but yeah who could resist Hoseok after seeing him rapping ?

@an-exotic-writer : Same goes for Missy, tbh her masterlist is a mine of gold, there’s a lot, like a lot of things whenever I’m bored I will read something (plus her masterlist looks really cool like) Here we go for the faved :

Smooth as fuck, Hoseok, well everything is said in the title lol, oh and gangster!hobi is hot af

Sidewalk sugar, what can I say, I’m weak for Jimin, and even more when he’s a sugar daddy

it’s a win win for you & me possessive Jin in a ceo!au

@freehoseoksdick : Friends with benefit I don’t even have the words lol just go read it especially if yo’ure a Jimin hoe like me

@jungkxook : Bad!boy Tae, if onlt this doesn’t make you want to read it, then idk what to tell you lol  Runaway

honorable mention for @hobibliophile and her RA!Jimin smut ! eheh

                                                     FLUFF

@hobibliophile : My fave non-smut from Jules !  Shades. A fluffy encounter at the beach with Kook !

@noir0neko : I probably should have mentioned them in the smut section, but I preferred listing on their cute little floof stories (but def go check their smuts too, same for Jules !) Bonne nuit. Look ! French ! lol basically Jiminie helping you fall asleep and it’s rly cute

@park-jimeme : Okay so I discovered her blog because of the Grim Reaper serie, and all I wanna say is THANKS whoever reblogged it and made me see this ! so here we go for my faves fluff :

Gang!bts basically a fluff gang!au with Jin !

Vlogger!au, Vloger!Taehyung is just too cute

Secret to tell, you have great news for Hoseok, your husband

@exobtsimagination : yeah they don’t only do smuts amazing right ?

Perfect Date With J-Hope , the title says it all !

Your Eyes Are Like … , this one’s really cute, it’s with Namjoon and all people wearing glasses should read this !

Teaching Jimin English , once again the title says it all, it’s rly short but rly cute lol

@freehoseoksdick : Starlight a floofy youtubeur!Jungkook thingy 

                                                  ANGST

@park-jimeme : once again because yeah what can I say I just love everything she writes so...

It’s over, a nice angsty serie with Suga, but dw the fluff is there in the end lol

Grim Reaper serie, it’s like a mix of every genre, there’s mostly angst, there’s fluff, there’s smut, there’s supernatural, this serie is awesome you must read it ! Oh and there’s ot7, but it’s centered on Namjoon and Suga !

Gream Reaper side story J-Hope’s one & Jungkook’s  those got me shook forreal and they are sad af. I love these, so nicely written omg

I Need U!AU, I think she made one for each member, but I only read Jimin’s so far, and yeah, well, just as the Mv it is... *sobs*

Cheater, basically in this Jungkook is an asshole and Suga is the nice guy

@btschronicles : I don’t know much about the writer since I discovered this blog recently and only got to read The depth of us, which is with Jungkook who is so oblivious it hurts, literally, but I’m sure all of their stuff is nice !

@bee-tea-ass, same, I don’t really know anything about the writer I randomly found this, and damn. I’m Okay, well clearly you guessed it, it’s not okay and it’s with Jimin THIS SHIT GOT ME ON THE VERGE OF TEARS ! I love reading stuff like this when i’m already sad af ! 

                                         FAVE AU’S (any genre)

@jiminniemouse‘s stripper!Jimin, surprise surprise (m)

@jungblue‘s Gryffindor!Taehyung  Under the Cloak (m)

@an-exotic-writer Wolf!Suga Salvation (fluff [?]) | Photographer!Suga My muse my love (m) | cop!Hoseok Maybe | FallenAngel!Jimin fallen for you (fluff) | ChildhoodFriend/college!Taehyung mine then, mine now (fluff)

@freehoseoksdick‘s CEO!Jimin, SILK (m; fluff; angst) a must, like go read it now, beautiful serie that must be finished by the time you see this | Blackout (every genre tbh)  post-apocalyptic!au

@jungkxook ZombieApocalypse!AU centered on Jungkook, to this is amazing tbh Hiraeth (m; angst)

@jungblue Purge!AU The purge not finished yet, but the 4 parts that are out are amazing !

@btssmutgalore Stripper!Jimin (well kind of) hm how did I not find about this sooner tbh like yes yes yes Sin City (m)

@perpetually-jungshook Werewolf!AU Jungkook centered I’ve been craving for supernatural AU’s and this one didn’t disappoint, sadly it isn’t finished, but you can definitely look forward to the next parts !  Without You: Bloodstone

That’s it ! I might add stuff whenever I find new ones ! ♥