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heyitsyn · 4 years

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Manager!Seijoh Part 9

a/n: hehehe this was inspired by that iconic picture in pinterest of akaashi turning into a child

summary: you signed up to take care of grown teenagers who are capable of taking care of themselves-not children

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

LMAO IS IWA KICKING HIM AND IS THAT MATTSUN SLAPPING HIS FLAT BUTT

so like,,,, you were at a complete loss

this was literally the last thing youd ever think of and you didnt even think it was possible for this to happen!

but before that

get in losers we’re going on a flashback

it was a wednesday so duh practice was normal after school

but you read on your weather app that it would be thunderstorming so you were worried on how the others would walk home and even texted oikawa if he could cancel the after-practice practice

but since the spring competitions were getting close, he wanted to get as much practice as possible, even sometimes doing monday practices, and the coaches were usually out the door once mandatory practice hours were over, letting the boys do more practice with no worry since you were there to handle it

the boys were in the gym practicing and stuff but you could hear the thunderstorms from the distance, the smell of rain already filling the gym

and you knew none of these boys owned or carried an umbrella with them so you were going to go and buy umbrellas for when they go home

‘you guys, ill be right back. im going to go to the store down the street, okay?’

the look you gave to iwa made him nod, knowing he was the one really in charged, since oikawa wasn’t really capable of handling everyone

‘i want to come’

kyo said but you stopped him, placing a comforting hand on his arm

‘ill be really quick so dont miss me too much’

‘come back soon, y/n-chan!’

‘be safe!’

iwa made sure you were bundled up with a raincoat and had your umbrella on hand before you went on your journey

ugh team moms have my heart

thankfully, the store had more than enough for the boys and you were trying to hurry because it was now raining heavily and you wanted to run back so they wouldnt worry

the cashier rang up your total and you were just giving her your card when a VERY BRIGHT LIGHTNING striked from the sky and a VERY LOUD thunderstorm rang in the distance

your heart thumped and it mightve just been your managerial instincts but you knew something was wrong

oh god oikawa must be freaking out right now since he absolutely hates thunderstorms

your worries were evident on your face so the cashier hurriedly handed you your bag full of umbrellas so you were able to sprint out of the door and too much in a hurry to even open your umbrella

the run to the school felt like it was a 10-mile run and when you finally ran towards the gym doors, you slowed to a speed-walk

but you froze

the lights were off and you could hear the screams of a child

well,,,,, more like, children

you entered the gym and fell on your butt in surprise

in front of you, were 9 toddlers who were thankfully covered by the now too-big clothing

they couldnt be over 3 and a half feet tall and looked like they were around 3 or 4

‘i-i-iwa-san?’

you stuttered and reached a hand forward towards the baby with the black spiky hair but he cried louder, clutching on to the brunette baby

‘oh god’

you were finally starting to realize this situation

‘oh my god, what do i do’

you mumbled, standing up and panicked eyes wandering over each child

they were chibis

3 chibis were sleeping and you could tell each boy by their hairstyle

kunimi, yahaba, and mattsun were sleeping on top of the blue shirts and white shorts

kindaichi was hiccuping, seemingly done with his crying, while oikawa was bawling and screaming with iwaizumi holding on to his hand tightly, eyes also teary

makki was bleary-eyed and watari was just sitting there, eyes wide and lips parted but kyo, with hair turned to his original color yet the same sharp yellow eyes, looked on the verge of crying, hands reaching out to you

you immediately grabbed ahold of oikawa and you were thankful that their shirts were still over their tiny body

‘its okay, oikawa-san, its okay’

thunder rumbled again and this time, woke up the others in fright causing them to also start crying then the others started their own crying because everyone else was crying

you kept oikawa on your arms but ran to check on individual player

‘no,no,no! its okay! look! ball!’

you presented the stray volleyball next to iwaizumi and you guessed he was holding it before he transformed into this child form

‘IM SCARED!’

kindaichi shouted while sobbing and his loud voice startled yahaba even more and got him to cry harder making the others follow suit as well

‘oh no’

you whined and was slowly going crazy by the crying noises

you dont have any siblings so you never got the experience of having to take care of be around a toddler

maybe you should calm each child individually

that would work, right?

you remembered the method you used on oikawa once during training camp and you were hoping that his child self would still use the same calming routine

the speed you had to find your headphones and plug them in to your phone then his ears and playing the ‘big bang theory’ theme song was A S T R O N O M I C A L

you placed him in front of you and wiped the tears that trailed down his chubby cheeks while his little hands held on to your shirt

his cries started to slow down until it was just whimpers and you placed a kiss on his forehead when he finally quieted down

but while you were taking care of their captain, kyo was yelling at yahaba and making him more upset and cry even harder

‘MEAN DOGGIE!’

yahaba shouted and tried to hit kyotani but he hit him back

you pushed both children away and sat them down on their beehinds in front of you

‘no. we dont hit, yahaba-san, and we dont make fun, kyotani-san. time out for you two’

yahaba glared at the floor with tears pricking his eyes but one look from you made him hold it in and bite his lip

iwaizumi looked like he was finally getting ahold of himself as he was calmly sitting down with makki and mattsun by his side

you chortled when mattsun still possessed the same teasing smirk as he did when he was a teenager and his red eyes were now filled with mischief along with makki

iwa looked up at you with bright eyes, as if waiting for a reward or a compliment, and you swallowed your squeal before crouching across him and caressing his cheek

‘good job, iwa-san. iwa-san is a good boy’

he smiled, a smile youve never seen before, then snuggled closer to your palm

the only one really crying was kindaichi while kunimi and watari were also just sitting down

kindaichi’s sobs echoed throughout the gym and as you walked closer, you heard his stomach growl and you instantly knew how to calm him down

the sausage you picked up to feed the strays with kyo later was still in your bag so you peeled the wrapper about halfway and handed it to him

kindaichi stared at it and you had to guide it in his mouth to start eating just to ensure him it was safe and he could eat

the thunder seemed to have died down and all that remained was rain

the boys were starting to shiver from the cold and you were sure the heat in the gym was working before you left but now it wasnt because of the power shutting down

it wouldnt be good if they remained in this cold environemnt and you suddenly remembered that you were still soaked from the rain and was getting colder by the second

maybe it was the panic that shot up your adrenaline and didnt let you realize your own situation

each boy had their jackets thrown to the side but you quickly put it on them so you could bundle them up as best as you can

their shoes were too large for them so you ran to the storage room where there were plastic bags that you used to tie around their feet with their socks

iwa noticed your trembling body and he shakily stood up and ran over to you

you finished tying kindaichi’s bag when you noticed iwa standing there with his arms stretched towards you

‘hug’

he squeaked and you sniffled before wrapping him in your arms and holding him close to you

it seems iwa still possessed his protective instincts from before

by the time all the boys were ready, the rain thankfully reduced to simple sprinkles and you made everyone hold hands

the boys stood on a row in front of you and you seriously talked to them

‘no matter what, never let go of your friend, okay? even you yahaba, kyotani’

the two gave each other a glare but they still clenched each other’s hands

you grasped oikawa and iwa’s hands and the others formed a chain with mattsun holding iwa’s and makki holding oikawa’s and so forth

you figured you could just leave their bags in the gym so you were walking as fast as you could towards home where it would be warm and a safe place to figure out a plan

natsu has seen a lot in his years of living and from being in nekoma in general

but he has been shocked to see this

it was already late and your parents were both at some business trip and he knew you were supposed to be home already but you werent

he was about to call you when the doorbell rang and he figured it was just some person convincing him to be christian

he opened the door, exasperated and irritated

‘listen, im the biggest sinner that has ever-Y/N!’

he shouted in surprise

there, you stood, shaking and red with a bunch of toddlers

what in the world

‘natsu. m-move’

you stuttered out and he couldnt help but do what you said and he made way for you and the little ducklings

the little boy from the back, the one with yellow eyes, glared at him as he walked past and natsu shook his head in disbelief

‘wha-’

you ran to the temp screen button thing bro i dont know what it is but i have something like an echobee thats like that to turn up the temperature in the house

the boys were still excitedly babbling on about some movie and they were singing songs

‘PONYO PONYO PONYO-’

poor natsu just stood at the archway by the living room

‘oi, y/n. please tell me you didnt kidnap a bunch of kids’

there was no teasing tone, just pure confusion

you didnt look up from the temp thing and you configured it to rest at 75 degrees fahrenheit fyi

‘something happened. something weird and bad happened. it shouldnt even be possible but it did and im so confused and i dont know what to do’

you rambled and you turned to look at the kids

natsu noticed your frazzled form and he gently grabbed a blanket to drape over you so you could get warm and led you to sit on the couch

‘just tell me, babes. we’ll figure it out’

he reassured and you sighed

‘i-i,,, was g-going to the-the convience store to-uh-get some umbrelllas for the boys but,,, when i was there,, there was a big thunder and boomed and lightining and i knew,,,,i knew there was something wrong and something had happened so i ran back and then bam! i saw them as kids!’

natsu trailed over from your face to the boys and he started to piece together that yes, this was your team

the brunette boy he messed around with and the one with the adorable eyebrows

‘y/n,, babes,, did you dabble with voodoo? bad juju?’

he whispered and you almost cried

‘no! why would i?!’

‘THEN WHY THE HELL ARE THEY BABIES?!’

‘I DONT KNOW! IM NOT DUMBLEDORE!’

‘what are we going to tell their parents?!’

‘that their kids turned to babies?!’

‘yea right! might as well tell them the earth is flat!’

you both went silent for a bit before natsu sighed then turned to you

‘babes, go and shower. go and get warm while i take care of the kids. youre soaked and youre freezing and you’ll get sick. besides, they shouldnt be that bad, right?’

not even caring to answer that question and completely not hearing it, you nodded and groggily went to go bath

the boys saw you leave and they looked at natsu with either wide scared eyes or glaring eyes

especially the boy with the yellow eyes

natsu smirked

‘i know you. what was it? dog? crazy dog?’

there was clear offense in kyo’s face and he easily jumped to natsu’s lap and grabbed his hair to tug on it

‘yey! play time!’

oikawa shrieked and everyone shouted in agreement before joining kyo

natsu screamed as they punched his stomach and pulled his hair

you were in the middle of rinsing your hair when you heard the screams and you thought it was the boys but you recognized them as natsu’s

you continued showering

the boys were having fun beating up your cousin and natsu seriously wondered if you were taking your sweet time just to let them have their fun

‘oi! if you dont stop! i wont let you play mario kart!’

the boy with a middle part stopped tugging his hair followed by the one with the spiky turnip looking hair

‘maiyo,,,, kat?’

ALKSDFJLSDKFJDFKJDS BABY KINDAICHI STILL NOT BEING ABLE TO SPEAK PROPERLY

natsu saw them both stop and he excitedly sat up

‘yea! mario kart! you want to play mario kart?! oh my! its so much more fun than playing with natsu-nii!’

he didnt care what they wanted to do as long as it didnt involve him being getting beaten up so he quickly assembled the console and they all rallied around natsu as he set up the game

‘okay. we can play with 4 players at a time. who’s going first?’

there was a bit of hostility among the children as they turned their former soft gazes to hard and competitive looks

‘me!’

‘i wanna!’

‘me!me!me!’

‘stop it kawa-chan!’

‘iwa-chan ow!’

there was great uproar while natsu sighed in relief and leaned against the back of the couch, watching in amusement

there were punches thrown, some shoves, but they ultimately decided on players

begrudgingly it was kyo, kindaichi, mattsun, and watari

the others stayed behind with a pout on their lips and sulked

but as soon as they started playing, those sad looks disappeared and they scooted closer to watch it with interest

‘GO MAKKI! GO!’

‘KENKEN HURRY!’

the only one who wasn’t so in to it was the one with the spiky black hair and green eyes

‘hey, kid, what’s wrong?’

natsu asked and he didnt answer but just looked at him before turning to watch the tv silently

he was about to ask again when you appeared and the boys cheered at your arrival before turning back on the game

you were refreshed and you sat on the loveseat next to natsu’s place on the couch

‘they seem to be having fun’

you smiled but natsu crinkled his eyebrows then pointed to a figure behind the rest

‘the kid’s just been sitting there. i dont know if hes just like that or what but hes not really doing anything’

‘oh, thats just iwa-san. hes normally like that. look. iwa-san! can you please come here?’

at the call for his name, the boy perked up and he excitedly clambered over to sit on your lap

he leaned his back against your chest and you ran your fingers through his hair

‘why are you just sitting there, hm? do you not want to play?’

you spoke softly and he shook his head, eyes still on the match

‘friends are happy when playing. i like my friends. im okay’

despite the very child-like voice, there was a sense of maturity in there and you weren’t sure if they still carried the same memories as they had back when they were already teenagers

‘iwa-san, do you know me?’

you asked and he looked up to look at your face

then he shook his head

‘no’

you blanched

and so did natsu

‘so let me get this straight, kid. you let some random stranger take you to their house?’

iwa shrugged

‘she help me and friends. she nice’

you almost squealed but held back and you tightened your arms around him

‘youre sweet, iwa-san’

‘y/n, you could literally be charged of kidnapping right now’

natsu ruined the moment and you glared at him

‘im just trying out a way to help them. and besides, they couldve screamed and cried and ran out but they didnt so i didnt take them against their will’

natsu rolled his eyes before standing up

‘well, im hungry. and these kids cant exactly have take-out. imma go see if we have any food left’

he left you alone with the kids and you encouraged the others to win by cheering for them and smiling at the way they were laughing

man, no matter what age, you still love them

natsu peaked his head out from the doorway

‘we got dino nugggets’

you nodded

‘those should be good’

natsu returned to his spot on the couch and you stared at him

‘what? im too scared to do anything to the oven. remember when i broke the other one?’

you sighed and shook your head

iwa noticed you needing to get up so he was about to move when you placed him on natsu’s lap

‘iwa-san, natsu-kun will take care of you for now, okay?’

iwa didnt object but he didnt like it either

you were pressing the timer on the oven and you opened it to change the racks when you noticed a small figure and hands and feet trying to climb in

in shock, you dropped the rack and grabbed kunimi’s small body

‘kunimi akira! what were you thinking?!’

the baby’s eyes were half-lidded and he looked really tired and the oven was radiating warmth and he thought he could climb in it and sleep

but you knew that he would literally DIE

you ran him back to the living room and natsu was shocked to hear of what happened

‘HUH?’

‘yea. so try and make sure none of them does something dangerous’

you pleaded and he nodded before taking kunimi’s hand and urging the kid to sleep on his lap instead

you were finally cooking the nuggets and while it cooked, you were grabbing any leftovers for you and natsu to eat

there was little bit of rice and some tonkatsu left so you heated that up and continued to cook until everything was finished

‘boys! natsu! dinner!’

at the mention of food, the kids dropped the controllers and raced to go to the kitchen

natsu trailed behind with a half-asleep kunimi in his arms and iwa who held his hand

‘FOOD!’

kindaichi and oikawa shrieked

you gave each boy their own portion of food and you gave natsu his dinner

‘to be honest, i was surprised we had enough nuggets’

natsu was surprised at the nuggets you still had in the freezer

you shrugged

‘at this point, im not even surprised at anything anymore. i think im just in a dream and im controlling it and somehow, the universe is bending itself to help me’

natsu stared at you as if you grew three heads before chuckling and returning to his food

however

there was no such thing as peaceful dinner with the boys

yahaba was crying that kyo took some of his nuggies

kunimi tried to have one bite of his chicken before toppling over to the side and falling asleep

mattsun was tricking makki by pointing somewhere and when the brownette turns, he would take a nugget

oikawa tried it and iwa almost fell for it but he caught his best friend in time resulting him to hit the choco-hair boy and making tooru cry from the booboo

you sighed, rubbing your temples

‘i swear. my head’

you whined and natsu patted your back before he disappeared somewhere, presumably his room, to get away from the madness

your temper was rising and with how exhausted youve been and the incoming cold you feel is making you irritated

‘BOYS’

of course they stopped as they got scared by your tone and if they were teenagers, they would have the same reaction because youve never used this tone on them

‘kindaichi, wake up kunimi. kyotani, matsukawa, eat your own nuggets. yahaba, oikawa, stop crying. kyotani apologize to yahaba for eating his nuggets and hug him. you too, iwaizumi apologize to tooru for hitting him and hug him’

‘BUT-’

the boys started but you shot them a look

‘NOW’

‘sorry’

they mumbled and they looked at you before going to give the other a hug

‘bakakawa’

iwaizumi mumbled and tooru was about to cry but you scolded iwaizumi again

‘iwa, we don’t call people stupid’

he stared at you then turned away, an obvious pout on his lips and pushed his plate away to sulk

wow

is parenting this hard?

watari calmly ate his food and you smiled

you scooped him in your arms and you held him close

‘come on, everyone. when youre done eating, how about we watch ponyo? hm?’

as if they werent just sulking, they all cheered and abandoned their food to go running to the living room where you put the movie on

halfway through the movie, someone wanted something sweet

you had iwa on your right, mattsun on your left, watari on your lap and oikawa by your feet so you werent exactly at the position to make something

‘nee-chan, i want choco’

makki asked and you sucked in a sharp breath to calm yourself from how cute he was

you gently asked the others to move so you could go but they held on to a part of you

mattsun and iwa with your arms, watari holding your shirt, oikawa holding your leg

‘come on, guys.do you want choco?’

‘but-but-but’

oikawa blubbered

‘please dont go’

mattsun pleaded quietly

‘ill be back! i swear! please?’

begrudgingly, they let go and you stretched out your legs when you stood up then walked to the kitchen

as you opened the door, you were looking through something when you saw a reflection from the glass of a face

you shrieked and looked behind you, expecting some murderer but it was actually a line of the boys

it was like they followed you into the kitchen like ducklings following their mama duck

‘kyotani!’

you wheezed, seeing it was his face that you saw with those beautiful eyes

‘we missed you, nee-chan’

kindaichi whined with a small voice

you noticed that kunimi wasnt with the group so you assumed he was asleep on the couch

‘you scared nee-chan, boys. but it’s okay’

their puppy eyes made you cry inside but you ushered them to go to the dining room so they could wait there for their drinks

you poured chocolate milk for everyone except for tooru as he was lactose intolerant so you gave him chocolate oat milk

they brought the glass to their lips as you drank coffee and they lit up at the delicious taste

‘mmmm’

they giggled and you chuckled before reaching over to wipe makki’s top lip

‘thank you nee-chan!’

oikawa grinned and they all agreed

‘youre welcome. nee-chan will take care of you when you need it’

by the time midnight struck, you were already in a cuddle pile with the boys

they all fell asleep and you were being laid on by the others

natsu came down for water and saw you being smothered by bodies but he thought it was cute so he took a picture for you to see in the morning

he found the remote and turned off the movie and tv before wishing a whisper of a good night then headed back to his room

the room was filled with snores and you were dead asleep

but you couldnt help but squeeze back the tiny hand that gripped yours

--------------------

mrs l/n and mr. l/n groggily made their way up to the front door

‘god, its so late. im so tired. i want to sleep’

mrs l/n complained

mr l/n immediately fished out his keys and he turned the door to enter their home

it was very quiet and dark so they figured that both you and natsu already went to bed

they dumped their luggage at the entrance, bothering to unpack tomorrow and were making their way to the kitchen for a water

mrs l/n was making her way to the bathroom when she heard a groan from the living room

her eyes shot wide open and she thought she was so tired that she was hallucinating

but nope

her eyes transfixed itself on a figure that was standing at the middle of the living room

with a shaking hand, she reached over to flicker the lights on and she shrieked at the sight of a naked man

tooru felt sleep immediately leave him at the sound of the woman’s shriek and his eyes fell on someone by the doorway and she was not staring at his face

instead

down there

he followed her sight and my god

oikawa screamed

a/n: hehehe happy new years!!! well,, belated new years!! but we really starting the new year with a buck naked oikawa and a traumatized mom aren’t we? but i hope everyone had a great holiday and im so excited for the start of the new year and what it has in store for us!!! sending much love!!!

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youngbeanpole · 3 years

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A message from BP’s mail-lady

hoo boy here we go. this is gonna be a long post.

hi! im lemon, and i started this blog on april 2nd 2012. and today, april 22nd 2021, im posting beanpole’s last message here. its been one hell of a ride.

how it all started i was 15, spending time on tumblr, when i suddenly started seeing people posting about this movie that was about to be released soon, called the lorax. now, im not american, so i had never really heard of dr seuss, but people were so enthusiastic! so i watched a shitty cam-rip of the movie and joined the fandom.

and then the askblogs started, the first one i came across being swag, of course. i had run askblogs for other fandoms before, so i wanted to join in on the fun. but regular once-ler was already taken... and green suit once-lers, and audrey and ted too... so i had to come up with something original.

the movie started with the once-ler leaving home and his family showing just how awful they were, and i started thinking, ‘man, his childhood mustve sucked..’ ‘haha what if i made a blog about once-ler when he was my age?’

an impulse decision that somehow gained me 100 followers in a week. somehow relatable tumblr teen once-ler was relatable to 2012 tumblr. who couldve known?

i get kinda emotional looking back at it, honestly. people were so fun and creative. id stay up late to keep talking to people (bc timezones are hell). and i had a lot of fun just pretending to be a flawed boy, one who seemed nice but could be rather snarky, who would lie and break promises at the drop of a hat, but only because he didnt know any better, not out of malice. and i couldnt have done it without you all. i never wouldve known that he hates tomatoes, or likes celine dion, or wears the same thneed every dang day just because that happened to be his icon.

was it silly to get obsessed with a childrens movie? maybe. but i had a great time. (im also happy to see there are still people in the fandom that are carrying on the legacy... you guys rock)

truffula flu i think most people that remember bp remember him from truffula flu’s camp entre, over at youngbeansprout... a blog ive sadly lost the password to. im a big baby so i never thought id enjoy writing about something as scary as zombies, but i saw my friends doing it so i went in blind, without any idea on a backstory for the au or whatever. ....which is probably why he wasnt always all that prominent in the story, haha. well, that, and timezones.

it was probably an even wilder time than running this blog was, because there was actual plot. and people would liveblog it. and make fanart. and cosplay??? someone out there? cosplayed my oc to a convention? its one of those things that make you go. huh. i made something cool. probably never gonna reach that high ever again, but it sure is a fond memory. i still have a folder on my computer with all the fanart and it still brings a smile to my face.

also... i never did get to finish zombie au’s story, but i did plan how it would end. so if youve managed to read this far, congratulations! youve hit the hidden deep lore.

---

so the thing with truffula flu was that entre made the trees fucked up, right? and those spores would turn ppl into zombies. and of course you could become a zombie from being bitten, but it also traveled through the air...

everyone in camp entre (who wasnt immune or already infected) wore a gasmask, a bandana, something to cover their mouth. bp, who wandered into the apocalypse by accident, did not. he didnt even know.

so little by little, the spores gathered in his lungs, until he realized. oh no. im getting sick. oh no. oh no oh no oh no. he messed around audrey’s equipment to confirm he was infected, and he got scared. he was a scared kid and he was going to die.

except. ted had handed him a cure for safe-keeping. a cure bp had sworn to protect with his life. but it could save him, right? in a moment of cowardice, he uses it on himself... only to find out there never was a cure. (now heres the part where my memory gets fuzzy but) the ‘’’cure’’’ was given to ted, who was already slightly rotting, meant as a mercy kill. the people who gave him the cure assumed he would use it on himself.

except ted was a good kid, who wanted to use the cure to help others. and beanpole? his lies and broken promises came back to bite him in the ass, and he died sudden and alone. the end. :)

ANYWAY

the end of an era ive wanted to wrap this blog up for several years now but i never knew how. younger me wanted to give him a happy ending, which back then i thought was getting him a girlfriend.

but as i got older, i realized... not everything can be fixed with a relationship. he’d have to learn to overcome his flaws by himself, learn his lesson about honesty and sincerity and the dangers of greed. and then, maybe he’ll have a happy ending.

so as he rides into the sunset on this day, imagine. maybe he’ll end up cutting down a forest and regretting it the rest of his life. maybe he’ll become a rock-star. an inventor. a teacher. a gentleman. a cannibal? okay, maybe not that one or maybe he’ll continue traveling forever, singing songs about boredom.

who knows? there’s infinite possibilites out there.

and with that, im logging off too. if you ever need me, ill be over on twitter as his deoncelerized self, bean.

#ooc #this got really long lmao but i had too many stories to tell

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penny-anna · 4 years

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@abluescarfonwaston as I said I got like 4 stars for this meme and no specific requests, so I’m just going to talk at length about the fic I have the most to say about, which is sandstorms and hazy dawns

hooray!!

She comes to him in the night, breath hot against his ear, and says, “can we keep them?”

This opening scene takes place between the 2nd and 3rd scenes of the story... this is probably needlessly confusing as the rest of the story is in chronological order but, this is where I wanted to start & I can do what I want.

“No,” he says.

He feels her weight shift as she lies down beside him. “Why not?”

“You know why.”

She noses at his neck, at the side of his head, nuzzling him. He feels the beginnings of a purr down in her chest, feels it in her and inside himself. “I like them.”

He touches her head, burying his fingers in her coarse fur the way he hasn’t for years. It’s been a long time, since they were as close as this. When they are together she sleeps an arm’s length from him. For days at a time they’re apart. He knows her only as a flash of white on the edge of his vision, a scent in the air. She wanders for miles, for weeks, following her own path, and he sees her not at all.

so let’s talk about the break up!!

Geralt & Dag used to have a more ‘normal’ person + separated daemon relationship (like most witchers), in which they would only split up for long periods out of practical necessity. they broke up for several years following events in blaviken. here is my extremely rough rendering of how that went

geralt: why you let this happen. you’re supposed to be my conscience :(

dag: umm how is this my fault? you asshole?

geralt: fuck off

dag: fine i will!! *fucks off*

geralt: wait no i didnt mean it :(

i have no intention of ever writing this scene as i don’t think i could do it justice. in my head he also throws a rock at her tho. bcos he’s an angry boy & an asshole.

however!! the strain in their relationship would not have started there. when i was writing this fic i was imagining that the fact of being separated would in itself put a strain on any person/daemon relationship, which i felt was implied by the HDM books. & then since writing it I read The Secret Commonwealth which more or less confirms that separating does just cause people’s relationships with their daemons to break down sometimes.

I think I said this in another post but, I imagine that the newly acquired ability to have separate experiences would make them more and more able to seriously disagree on things. and physically separating for long periods (even if only for practical reasons) would force them to get better at functioning alone which could in turn make them more and more emotionally distant from each other.

He scratches at the join of her neck and jaw, and that purr grows, long and deep and contented. She lays her head down beside his, and he holds her. He’s aware of her tail flicking, restless. She’ll be awake a while yet and so will she. They always sleep and wake at the same times, no matter how many miles separate them.

Geralt loves her, his lion, his dæmon. He loves her with every fibre of his being. He loves her strength, her grace. He loves that she can take any shape she pleases, be a bird or a fish or a snake when the moment calls for it. He loves the distance she can walk from him. He would not have her any other way. He cannot imagine her any other way.

i was always going to have witchers w separating daemons for this fic. however i got talked into the idea of witchers w mutable daemons by someone in a witcher discord I’m in... whoever you are I have forgotten your tumblr so can’t credit you for your idea properly sorry!!

i was originally reluctant bcos it seemed to me that mutable daemons implied innocence & youthfulness, which is kind of at odds with how witchers seem to be perceived. however following the above discord conversation i realised it can also imply 1) that witchers don’t really have ‘fixed’ personalities, which ties in with their supposedly not having feelings; 2) ‘innocence’ but in a negative way, in the sense of immaturity & not having a properly developed mind and sense of morality.

obviously none of the above is actually true and witcher daemons are just shapeshifting adult daemons but, that is how people perceive it.

additionally, given how superpowered witchers are it seemed to fit that they would have found a way around all the weaknesses that having a daemon bring.

He knows that she loves him too. He understand why sometimes she despises him. He has cursed her, with his words and his thoughts, and she hates him for it. She has left him alone, and he hates her for it.

They say witchers feel nothing and they are not wrong. It doesn’t pain him when they are apart. He hasn’t felt that pain since he was a child. He barely remembers what it feels like.

She stops purring. Her breath puffs against his skin. “Stop thinking so hard,” she says. “Go to sleep.” Her tail has stopped twitching. “Go to sleep.”

“I think you and I might have got off on the wrong foot – as they say.”

this scene is supposed to take place offscreen shortly following the gutpunch haha

“White hair – no visible dæmon – two very – very scary looking swords – I know who you are.”

I don’t like when daemon fics recap entire scenes w the addition of daemons but I wanted to get this 1 change in so. here it is in a brief flashback. i elected to take out ‘big old loner’ bcos 1) listing 3 things is neater 2) I felt that not having a visible daemon would be a more notable characteristic for jaskier to point out.

not having a visible daemon is not necessarily a ‘tell’ that someone is a witcher or part of another demographic that can separate as people’s daemons are just out of sight sometimes.

It had surprised him, the ease with which that word visible had tripped off the bard’s tongue; that unhesitating acknowledgement that just because he couldn’t see something did not mean it didn’t exist.

He says, “hm.”

“Aren’t you going to ask my name?”

“No,” he says.”

“You can call me Jaskier,” says the bard. With a jerk of his shoulder he indicates the songbird-dæmon perched atop his lute. “This is Tansy.” The dæmon peeps a greeting. Receiving no response the bard goes on, “she’s a nightingale which I think is very sexy of her. You know,” he adds. “Because I’m a singer. And she’s a – a songbird.”

i realised while i was writing this that jaskier never actually introduces himself on screen. which seems like an oversight on the part of the writers tbh. means we can do what we want tho.

as i said in the a/n on the fic itself, I got the idea of giving Jaskier a nightingale daemon from two halves of a whole. usually I try and avoid just straight up copying other people’s form ideas but i just. fell in love with nightingale.

other forms I’ve seen for jaskier seem to tend VERY strongly towards birds which I find interesting! i’ve think I’ve seen maybe 1 daemon fic where he doesn’t have a bird daemon.

moving on to the name! this is tansy:

I do intend to get into this in potential future installments of the series, but Tansy is not her birth name (none of the main daemons in this AU use their birth names, completely independently of each other). she started going by Tansy relatively young and when he later changed his to match.

I think Jaskier settled relatively young - maybe 2 years before the time this fic is set - and being the overdramatic little punk he is hasn’t quite got over the ‘have i mentioned how cool my daemon’s settled form is today’ phase yet.

& finally before moving on, p much the first thing we learn about Jaskier & Tansy is that he is very happy and at ease with her and the form that she takes. this is important.

He grunts an acknowledgement – if only to get the bard to stop explaining.

“You’re not the best conversationalist, are you?”

A sudden tension, inside his chest. She’s close. He looks up and there she is, slipping into view on the clifftop.

“It’s just usually when you have a conversation you take it in turns to speak,” says the bard. “Rather than one person doing all the – oh.”

Dag makes her way down the ragged cliff, leaping from perch to perch in languid motions till her white paws touch the earth and she’s beside him. Stooping Geralt runs his hand over her head in greeting. Her eyes narrow.

this is another thing I have mentioned Elsewhere but i did fall in love w geralt’s daemon’s name in two halves of a whole (linked above) and went looking for something which had a similar feel to it. sorry.

i’m aware that Dag is technically a man’s name but given the kind of, inherent gender-bending nature of opposite sex daemons it seemed appropriate.

i confess i was also thinking of the dag in fury road.

seen a lot more variety in daemon forms for Geralt than jaskier! most common choices seem to be 1) wolf and 2) roach is his daemon. I’m really not into ‘existing animal companion as daemon’ bcos I’m firmly in the camp of ‘daemons as a manifestation of a person’s inner voice’ rather than ‘daemons as Companions’ so I can’t get behind daemon!roach (I actually find it actively offputting gfdlkjfskdh)

wolf is a p good fit imo but I find it a bit on the nose and I wanted to do something different. so. he is a giant kitty cat. & as someone (I forget who sorry) correctly identified she is leucistic rather than albino.

white mountain lions do exist but best as i can tell there’s like 1 photo on the entire internet. bummer.

He’s aware of the restlessly silent presence of the bard behind them shifting his weight, his dæmon fluttering about his head, aware perhaps that he’s intruding on something intimate.

Geralt straightens, and the bard takes that as his cue to begin again. He clears his throat and says, “what can I call her?”

It’s been a long time, since anyone has asked for her name so brazenly; in fact he isn’t sure anyone ever has. Geralt shoots the bard a look.

“Well, you must call her something,” he says, unintimidated.

“I do,” says Geralt. “You don’t.”

The nightingale-dæmon, now resting upon her bard’s shoulder, is eying Dag curiously, but she’s cautious enough not to approach.

one thing I’ve noticed when re-reading HDM is that characters very rarely refer to other people’s daemons by names, even when they know them. generally i’ve loosely kept to this in my own daemon AUs bcos 1) i find that when fics us each daemon’s name every time i get a bit lost as to whose daemon is whose and 2) I like the idea that using someone else’s daemon name is a very hm. intimate thing. hence geralt is reluctant to call tansy by her name, even though he knows it.

“Right,” says the bard. “Well, then.”

Come morning, Dag is gone, but not gone far. Out of sight, but not so far away he can’t feel her. She’ll come back when it pleases her.

He readies Roach for the path ahead, half-listening to the lilt of conversation that carries from the bushes; Jaskier’s voice, and the pretty voice of his dæmon.

The bard stumbles out into view, tousled and bleary from a night on the ground. “G’morning.” He ambles over to join Geralt.

i genuinely wanted to specify here that jaskier was having a piss in the bushes but i couldn’t find a way to get it in that didn’t seem kind of tasteless. that is what is happening here tho.

“What will it take to get rid of you?” says Geralt.

“My, someone woke up on the wrong side of the – ground,” says Jaskier. “More than yesterday. Where are we off to next?” He puts his hand on Roach’s saddle. Geralt swats it away.

“I’m going north,” he says. “You go wherever you want.”

“Maybe I want to go with you,” says Jaskier. In a flutter of wings his dæmon comes to rest on the pommel of Roach’s saddle, and he can’t shoo her away. He wouldn’t dare put his hands near her.

They say of witchers that they have no souls. They say their dæmons are something else, something monstrous. They say they have no respect for the great taboo. When they see him mothers’ dæmons snatch their children away.

“You don’t,” says Geralt.

“You sound awfully sure,” says Jaskier.

You don’t know what you’re asking for, Geralt wants to say. He doesn’t know how to say it in a way the bard would understand. He glowers at the nightingale-dæmon until she takes the hint and flies back to Jaskier’s shoulder.

He feels Dag before he hears her, the padding of her feet on the ground as she emerges from the bushes, the soft sound of her breathing.

Jaskier nudges him. “You don’t fool me,” he says. “You’re a big pussycat really. Don’t think I didn’t hear her purring all last night.”

did u know that mountain lions are the largest cat than can purr! here is a video of one purring. it’s very cute but also a little scary.

“You’re imagining things,” says Geralt.

“I absolutely am not,” says Jaskier. “She was practically shaking the ground.”

At that Dag actually laughs, a short and bubbling laugh of real amusement. Geralt shoots her a look. Jaskier is looking at her too, looking at her curiously, startled by this, the first human sound he’s heard her make.

Looking away from them Dag stretches out on the ground, lounging as if she has nowhere to be. Jaskier tears his eyes away from her and says, “is she always a lion? It’s just –” His dæmon pecks him hard on the neck. “Ow – it’s just I heard witchers’ dæmons don’t settle.”

He fastens the straps on Roach’s saddle bag, and his hands still. “They aren’t unsettled,” he says. “They’re mutable.”

“I don’t follow,” says Jaskier.

“They settle,” he says. “But they keep the ability to change, after settling.”

“Ah, I see,” says Jaskier, nodding. “But is she –” His dæmon fastens her beak around his ear lobe and tugs. “Ow – ow – alright – there’s no need to be like that,” he mutters to her.

“I’m leaving,” Geralt says. “As I said. Go where you please.”

The bard and his dæmon follow him north.

Chimney smoke rises down in the valley. He doesn’t know the name of the town.

Dag is waiting for him, draped in the branches of a tree. She’s been scouting ahead, or perhaps she’s restless, or perhaps both.

She yawns, showing off her teeth. “Did you lose them?”

“You know I didn’t,” says Geralt. He can hear Jaskier’s voice behind them in the woods, and so can she.

Her tail swishes. “Why not?” she says, and he knows at once what she means.

bouncing off what I was saying above re ‘manifestation of a person’s inner voice’. I like taking opportunities to show that a person & their daemon are 2 halves of the same mind.

“You know why,” he says.

“Tell me.”

And she says it in that particular tone, a tone with steel in it, and he has to answer. “He’s soft,” he says. “He’s young. What he’s asking for will break him. He doesn’t understand.”

“Hm,” she says.

“It’s best he realises sooner,” he says.

“You don’t know how soft he is,” she says. “You don’t know him at all.”

“You’ve seen her,” he says. “That’s what he is.”

Tansy is delicate – pretty – fragile. She weighs almost nothing. She comes close by him as few dæmons will and every time he tenses for fear that he might touch her, without meaning to – hurt her – break her.

u know that post about the person whose boyfriend was afraid of holding babies in case he didn’t know his own strength and accidentally hurt them? thats geralt.

Dag’s tail is moving in the air, no longer swishing, flicking in sharp, angry jerks. “We both know that’s not how it works.”

He knows what she’s thinking. It hangs between them, unspoken. Another little bird dæmon they had once known, a pretty, charming robin-dæmon who had melted away like smoke before his eyes.

I’ve only seen 1 daemon fic featuring renfri (and I don’t think it was strictly a conventional daemon au) and it gave her a shrike daemon, which i do think is fitting. however as w wolf for geralt I find it a bit on the nose.

additionally, giving renfri a daemon has the potential to kind of, shift things wrt the ambiguity of her character, so you have a choice to make wrt whether you want to shift it more towards ‘she’s outwardly scary’ or ‘she’s outwardly innocent’ and I went for ‘outwardly innocent’, in part so I could do this specific parallel but also bcos I just preferred that vibe.

i went for european robin bcos it’s a very nice match for renfri’s aesthetic, and 1) I’m a slut for aesthetics and 2) helps to make sure readers will know who this is about.

He might say don’t. Don’t make me think of it. But he doesn’t. This thing has been unspoken between them for so many years. He doesn’t know what will happen if he breaks the silence.

They’ve been on the road for five – almost six weeks. He’s growing used to the chatter and the birdsong. Jaskier hasn’t complained – hasn’t complained much – hasn’t complained as much as he’d expected, not even when his feet bled in his fancy shoes. He’s generous enough to share the coin he gets from playing. Geralt’s had worse travelling companions.

Jaskier blunders out of the trees. “There you are,” he says. “Trying to shake us?”

“Yes,” says Geralt.

Jaskier snorts, as if that’s a joke. He looks out over the valley, the distant strings of smoke hazy in the twilight. “Do you think they have an inn?”

“I don’t care,” says Geralt.

“I want to sleep in a real bed,” says Jaskier. “And I want a bath.”

“I’m not stopping you,” says Geralt.

“It’s going to be freezing tonight,” says Jaskier.

“I’m used to it,” says Geralt.

Jaskier nudges him. “C’mon,” he says. “You could use a bath yourself. I don’t like to say so, but you are a very – unusual smelling person.”

“You’ve said so several times,” says Geralt.

“Have I?” says Jaskier innocently.

“Yes,” says his dæmon.

“So I have,” he says.

“Go and find an inn if you want,” says Geralt. “I’m not stopping you.”

“Stop being ridiculous,” says Jaskier.

“I’m being ridiculous?” says Geralt.

“Yes,” says Jaskier. “Alright, how about this. I’ll buy you a drink.”

“I can buy my own drinks,” says Geralt.

“But I’m offering,” says Jaskier. “A kind and magnanimous offer, out of the goodness of my heart. And also I think it’s going to rain and I want to get in doors, so stop being ridiculous.”

“Hm,” says Geralt.

They go to the inn. It’s begun to rain by the time they reach the town. Tansy hides herself away within Jaskier’s cloak. Dag doesn’t follow them down the valley, preferring to find a dry spot in the woods, preferring to avoid prying eyes.

The inn is crowded with people sheltering from the rain; two more strangers with hidden dæmons don’t get a second look. The rafters are lined with bird-dæmons, safely away from the crowd. Sitting alone in his corner he watches their movements, the beating of their wings. There was a time Dag might have changed her shape and joined them. A space like this is never comfortable for a large dæmon.

reading back over this story I think it’s hm easy to think of Dag as the Emotionally Mature one of them but she’s the one whose making a choice to like... hide from Regular People and has been doing it habitually for a long time, either by changing her form or just leaving him alone.

Geralt & his daemon do this for a number of reasons I think, in part for practical reasons, but also because he doesn’t want people go be able to get a fix on what kind of person that he is, and on some level wants people to see him and be immediately repulsed by his not having a daemon... this is a self-destructive behaviour that Dag is an active participant in. stop it Dag you’re supposed to be the smart one.

There’s a bard playing, raising his voice to be heard over the crowd. He doesn’t sing as nicely as Jaskier. He’s made a poor choice of song, too, a quiet ballad, one of many about the beauty of the touch.

“Her hand upon my dæmon, the first in my life – it was like roses in the summer and I knew then she’d be my wife –”

1) i hate writing rhyming poetry and i am very bad at it. got away with it this time i hope bcos this is supposed to be kind of trite.

2) this is is what we call Planting. lol.

Jaskier pushes his way through the press back to their table. “As promised,” he says, sliding Geralt a mug of ale. Geralt grunts a thank you.

Jaskier sits, and regards him. Tansy flutters down to perch on the rim of his mug, dipping in her beak. Absently Jaskier strokes her downy back and Geralt tracks the tiny, intimate motion with his eyes. “Is this it, then?” says Jaskier.

one thing I was trying to convey throughout this fic is that spending time with Jaskier & Tansy is the first time Geralt has been around someone who has a Normal relationship with their daemon (as opposed to the ‘it’s complicated’ that geralt & dag have) for a long time and he’s very aware of the contrast.

“Is this what?” says Geralt.

“Is this how it goes?” says Jaskier. “It’s just that I can’t help but notice there hasn’t been a lot of witchering.”

“That’s not a word,” says Geralt, and takes a draft of ale.

“What?” says Jaskier. “Witchering?” Geralt grunts. “Maybe I’ll put it in a song and get people saying it.”

“Don’t you dare,” says Geralt, and Jaskier laughs a little.

“Really, though,” he says. “Is this it?”

“How many monsters do you think there are in the world?” says Geralt.

“How should I know?” says Jaskier. Still perched on his mug Tansy whistles along with the ballad. A moment later Jaskier’s fingers begin to tap along. “What d’you do when you can’t get any work?”

“I make do,” says Geralt.

“Hmm,” says Jaskier. Sensing he isn’t going to get any meaningful answers – or perhaps just bored – his gaze wanders to the bard. For a few moments he listens quietly. “Have you ever done it?”

“What?” says Geralt.

“You know.” Jaskier ducks his head in the direction of the bard.

“Been a bard?” says Geralt.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” says Jaskier, mock-stern.

“No,” says Geralt. “Not like that.”

He’s had another’s hands on his dæmon, more than once. He and Dag have sworn to themselves: never again.

“Hm,” says Jaskier. “No. Me neither.” Again he strokes Tansy, perhaps imagining it.

Tansy is still whistling along with the bard, giving the final notes of the ballad a few extra flourishes, and Geralt catches himself thinking that she and Jaskier would sing it better.

“I’ll be having the bath first – if you don’t mind,” says Jaskier.

“Hm,” says Geralt.

“Though don’t think I’m going to let you get away without bathing,” says Jaskier. “I know what you’re like, and, and your aroma is really starting to bother me.”

“Hm!” pipes up Tansy in agreement.

“Find someone else to annoy, then,” says Geralt. He sits on the edge of the bed, still in his armour. Jaskier is meandering about the washstand, unfastening his doublet, restless as ever.

He tosses his doublet onto the bed, and looks Geralt up and down. “You’re not planning on sleeping in that, are you?”

“Maybe,” says Geralt.

“What, do you think the inn’s going to get attacked in the night by – werewolves, or something?” says Jaskier.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” says Geralt.

“I can never tell when you’re joking,” says Jaskier, and unlacing his undershirt as he goes he wanders behind the screen.

“I don’t joke,” says Geralt.

“See?” Jaskier’s undershirt drapes over the top of the screen. Tansy, perched beside it, tugs at it with her beak, neatening it up. “There you go again.”

one of the biggest (& most underrated imo) challenges when writing a daemon au is characterising daemons... they’ve got to be like, recognisably the same person as the character, but at the same time ideally their own entity with their own personality. i found Dag came quite naturally, probably bcos Geralt is a character who definitely hides a lot of aspects of his personality, but Tansy was harder.

i imagined Tansy being very quiet with people who aren’t Jaskier & also very much the ‘put your clothes away don’t leave them all over the floor’ type of daemon.

Alone – or what passes for alone – Geralt begins to divest himself of his armour.

Jaskier’s trousers appear atop the screen. A moment later there’s a gentle splashing of water. A sigh.

geralt is definitely not thinking about the fact that jaskier is undressing. nope. he is not thinking about the fact that jaskier is naked in the same room as him. this is of no interest to him at all. He Does Not Care.

“This soap smells like pig fat,” he remarks.

“That’s because it’s made of pig fat,” says Geralt.

“Well. Yes,” says Jaskier.

Tansy is looking at him curiously from atop the screen. Caught staring, she opens her wings and drops out of sight to join Jaskier.

“Does Dag not come indoors?” says Jaskier.

“Now and then,” Geralt answers, before he has fully processed what Jaskier said. His hands still on his armour. “When did she tell you her name?”

this is something I do intend to cover in a future fic but I also don’t intend for it to be especially dramatic

“A few weeks ago,” says Jaskier. “I didn’t think much of it. Why? Do you mind?”

“Yes,” says Geralt.

Behind the screen water splashes. “Why on earth would you mind?” says Jaskier. Geralt doesn’t answer. “Well – I suppose that’s another one for the list of things I’ll never understand about you – like your sense of humour, and why you spend hours talking to your horse when you’ve a perfectly good dæmon.”

an extra dimension of geralt talking to his horse in this au is that he is used to having his daemon there.

Rising, Geralt begins setting his armour on the chair. “She isn’t always there,” he says.

“Well, yes, but it’s not as if she goes very far,” says Jaskier.

“Sometimes she does,” says Geralt.

In a sudden fluttering of wings, Tansy reappears atop the screen.

“How far does she go?” says Jaskier.

“As far as she pleases,” says Geralt.

A gentle sloshing of water. Tansy turns on her perch, peering down at her bard, something wordless passing between them. “Does it,” says Jaskier. “I mean, do you – I don’t know how to ask.”

“Spit it out,” says Geralt.

“Can you still feel her?”

“Yes.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“No.”

so this scene is (obvs) a kind of a call back to That One Bath Scene in canon. this is the first time they’ve been hm ‘domestic’ together and it’s a little awkward, especially for geralt, who is not used to it. all of which is in contrast with how comfortable they are around each other later.

& this is the most frank (probably) conversation they have over the course of the entire fic and it happens when they are physically screened from each other. and also jaskier is literally naked while geralt is opening up to him. this is all very notable for obvious reasons I hope.

“I see,” says Jaskier, though Geralt doubts he does. It’s difficult for humans to get their heads around the way he and Dag experience the world. Most aren’t interested in trying.

geralt here actively ignoring the fact that jaskier is making an effort to understand

He hears the water moving, and the padding of Jaskier’s bare feet on the floorboards. His clothes are whisked back down from the screen and half a minute later he emerges, his hair towel-damp. “All yours,” he says.

Geralt sits in the still-warm water, and soaks, and listens as Jaskier putters about on the other side of the screen, getting ready to sleep, listens to the steady back and forth of his conversation with Tansy. He hums, and she whistles along.

uh so if you’re an introvert I imagine you’ve probably had the experience of being Alone and Unobserved for the first time in an uncomfortably long time... i have this experience every day when i leave work fjgksfkgjfg

tansy & jaskier talk p much non-stop when they’re (semi)alone

When at last, the water cold, he ventures out from behind the screen, Jaskier is on the bed, scribbling something down in his little book.

“You can have the bed,” says Geralt. “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be stupid.” Jaskier shifts over towards the wall. “We’ll both fit. I don’t mind if you don’t.” He glances up from his writing. “Though just to warn you, I’m reliably informed that I kick.”

“He does,” says Tansy from the headboard.

The room smells like candle smoke, and pig fat. The scent of the outdoors still clings to them to their clothes, to Jaskier’s hair. He sleeps facing the wall, the warmth of his body pressed to Geralt’s side. Tansy sleeps with her head tucked beneath her wing. Geralt lies awake, listening to Jaskier’s breathing.

geralt is not affected by this situation at all. he is not even a little bit uncomfortably attracted. nope. nuh-uh.

they don’t ever share a bed in the show but i gather it’s a normal thing to do in the books so for the purposes of this fic, this is a thing that it later becomes normal for them to do.

He mumbles now and then in his sleep. And true to his word, he does kick.

Morning comes grey, but dry. They eat breakfast in the tavern. Jaskier chatters, about the weather, the food, the song he was writing in the evening. Geralt tunes him out, and lets his eyes roam over the other patrons. His gaze falls on a pair of old men smoking long pipes. They’re looking at him, at the absence beside him, the empty space he occupies. Caught staring they look away.

Jaskier pokes his arm. “Are you listening to me?” he says.

“Hm?” says Geralt.

“I said you’re even more sullen than usual this morning,” says Jaskier. “What’s got into you? Trouble sleeping?”

Geralt turns his attention to his porridge. “You kick.”

“I’m aware,” says Jaskier. “I did warn you. Well, I dare say –”

A woman is approaching their table, purposefully, stoically. Geralt recognises her attitude. Jaskier is savvy enough to guess.

“You’re the witcher?” she says, as if it’s a question. Her dæmon, a large, horned beetle, clings silently to her sleeve.

always hard w daemon AUs to strike a balance between making it clear to the audience that everyone in this world has a daemon & including superfluous information about daemons who aren’t relevant to the story. originally didn’t include this woman’s but then decided I didn’t have enough background daemons.

this is something i actually paid a lot of attention to while reading the secret commonwealth bcos i wanted to see how pullman handles it.

additionally I think insect daemons are under-represented in daemon au fic so I have been trying to get in as many as I can.

“Well, he’s a witcher,” says Jaskier. Geralt nudges him to be quiet.

She says, “my sister has a job for you.”

The wind is picking up. The day is getting thin. Ahead, on the hilltop, the dark outline of a hay barn, stark and flat against the grey sky.

He dismounts, and ties Roach to a tree.

“Is Dag not joining us?” says Jaskier.

“She comes and goes as she pleases,” says Geralt.

“What, did you two have an argument or something?” says Jaskier. Geralt grunts. “Did you? About what?”

“You,” says Geralt truthfully, and Jaskier laughs as if he’s made a joke.

Dag is in the air somewhere above them. Irritated with him as she may be, she hasn’t gone far, this time. She’s watching the valley, her keen hawk’s eyes searching for any untoward movement.

He starts to climb the hill. Jaskier makes to follow. Turning Geralt holds up a hand, halting him in his tracks. “Stay with Roach.”

Jaskier adjusts the strap of his lute. “I can handle it.”

“This won’t be pleasant,” says Geralt.

“Honestly,” says Jaskier. “How do you expect me to write about all this if you never let me see anything?”

“I don’t,” says Geralt.

“Anyone would think you didn’t want me to immortalise your deeds in song,” says Jaskier.

“I don’t,” says Geralt.

“It’s stifling to my creativity, not to mention rude,” says Jaskier. “And wholly unjustified. I have a strong stomach.”

Wavering, Geralt glances at Tansy, on Jaskier’s shoulder. She hms in agreement. He drops his hand. “If you’re sure.”

In the doorway of the hay barn Jaskier turns his face away and retches. “Oh gods,” he moans. “Oh heavens. Fuck me –”

“Go and wait with Roach if you want,” says Geralt.

One hand braced against the door frame, the other over his mouth, Jaskier looks at him. He takes his head from his mouth. He shakes his head. Tansy flutters in the doorway, from the shadow to the light, and resolves. She flies into the barn, up, up to the rafters, and there looks down upon the bodies.

This is where they have brought their dead, this most remote outpost of their village, with the spiders and the rats and the dust. They brought the bodies here, a dozen or more of them, and piled them up, meaning to burn them, meaning to burn this lonely place to the ground.

They’re unmarked. The air is thick with the smell of death. The most recent lies near the door, her eyes open, staring up at the roof. She’s young. Her hair is fair. She’s dressed in an apron, as if she’d just stepped out of her kitchen – to the water pump, perhaps – when she was attacked.

One death such as this, two, they’d bury. This many, in as many days, they know what haunts them, and they fear it like nothing else.

“What killed them?” says Tansy from the rafters.

“Hm,” says Geralt. He crouches to look at the dead girl, to be sure there are no marks on her, as the village healer had said. Taking off his gloves, he touches her face, tilting her head towards the light.

why does geralt take off his gloves. bcos later i had a scene where he’s washing his hands and then it was pointed out to me that he normally wears clothes and so wouldn’t need to. shush.

It isn’t his place to interfere with how these people treat their dead; but this isn’t right. There’s nothing to fear here. They are only dead. The danger, the thing that killed them, has passed. There’s nothing to be gained in consigning their dead to this bleak, anonymous fate.

A scuffling, above. Tansy moving on the rafter.

“Geralt?” says Jaskier. “What killed them?”

“Shh.”

Geralt glances up, at Tansy. She’s perched quivering on the rafter. “What is it?” he says.

“Something moved.”

tansy being a very hm fastidious sort of person translates to being quite perceptive

“I didn’t see anything,” says Jaskier.

“You weren’t looking,” says Tansy.

Geralt rises. He reaches for his sword.

The barn reeks of death. In the semi-darkness he had taken it for one of the bodies piled around it. It’s rising now to its feet, its movements stilted, unnatural. You might take it for a lumbering thing, a slow thing you could outrun. You’d be wrong.

Tansy takes flight, flashing in and out of the light from the doorway, and as she does so it begins to move, crawling forward over the piled bodies with the speed of a darting insect, snatching, grasping at the air above it. Jaskier cries out. “Run!�� Geralt barks, raising his sword.

this whole scene was hard for a number of reasons... firstly i don’t know a lot about witcher monsters and spent a while trying to find one that fit the kind of scene I wanted before saying ‘fuck it’ and inventing my own

and secondly I don’t know about anyone else but uhh whenever i want a story to include an action scene in my head it’s just like ‘and then a fight happens!!’

+ w this one as well as planning out the fight i had the extra issue of, how it manages to get hold of Tansy which I. hope i explained satisfactorily.

The sight of silver gives the dæmophage pause. It halts, its eyes wide and staring, its shoulders heaving. It’s a fluid creature and it no longer needs its human disguise. Its limbs stretch, its spine bends at an unnatural angle, its slit nostrils flaring. It has no mouth. It has no need of one. Frost spreads from its fingers, coating its hands and arms, the bodies beneath it, the packed dirt floor.

He’s aware of laboured breathing behind him. He’s aware, suddenly, that Jaskier has not run. He risks a glance over his shoulder and sees him pressed to the far side of the door frame, gripping the wood with one white-knuckled hand. His other hand is held, clenched, to his chest. The colour has drained from his face.

“Run,” Geralt says. “Run!” Still Jaskier doesn’t move, and stepping back, not taking his eyes off the dæmophage, Geralt reaches blindly behind himself, finds Jaskier and shoves him backwards.

He resists, and in that resistance Geralt feels what has happened, feels it before Jaskier lets out a pained sound, before he says, choked, “Tansy.” For it’s not the resistance of one who doesn’t want to go; it’s the resistance of one tethered, of a tied-up dog trying to run from a fire.

The dæmophage is crawling forward again, one-handed. It’s holding something in its other hand, in a hand thick with ice. He can’t see what it is. He knows what it is. “Geralt –” Jaskier wheezes, and whatever he means to say next he can’t find the breath.

There are many vile ways to die, in the world. Few worse than your dæmon becoming meal to a creature like this, the life crushed from it, your soul slowly, torturously drained away.

He takes off the dæmophage’s arm first, the arm that holds Tansy, and its whole body jerks spraying dark blood across the walls, across the bodies. As its severed arm hits the ground its fingers fall open and he sees her, a fistful of icy brown feathers, but there’s no time to dwell on her, no time to dwell on if he was fast enough, if there is anything left to save. The dæmophage lashes out at him with its other hand, with its sharpening claws; he dodges, swings, and its arm falls to the ground, cut at the elbow.

It takes two strikes to cleave off its head. Its body remains half-upright, swaying, blood bubbling from its neck. He stands over it, sword raised, breathing hard. They’re fluid creatures. Half-shadow. You can never be sure.

It falls. It is still. He lowers his sword.

Behind him Jaskier falls heavily to the ground. Geralt turns to find him on his knees, shuddering all over, gasping, but still conscious, his eyes alert. He slumps forward, catching himself on his hands, and empties his stomach onto the dirt.

“Tansy,” he croaks. “Oh gods, Tansy –” He sees her, still in the dead creature’s hand, melted frost dripping from her feathers. He tries to rise. His legs won’t hold him.

She had been in its grip less than a minute. It must have felt like an age. Geralt is surprised he didn’t faint. Perhaps he’s made of sterner stuff than he looks.

so I don’t imagine this being as much a matter of Inner Strength as much as (as established early) Jaskier & Tansy having a very close and intimate bond, which in turn is a reflection of Jaskier being at ease with himself and the kind of person he is.

in short this isn’t a matter of jaskier being like, exceptionally brave so much as being like ‘hey! don’t you dare! fuck you!’

Stepping closer Geralt takes his arm and heaves. “I told you to wait with Roach,” he says. But the look Jaskier gives him, of mute, numb disbelief at his coldness, silences any further reproach.

He hauls Jaskier to his feet, but Jaskier tugs his arm from his grip. He wipes his face on his sleeve and staggers forward, falling to his knees once again beside her, reaching for her with shaking hands.

When he picks her up he lets out a gasp of relief – or terror – it’s hard to say which. She doesn’t respond to his touch. She lies limp in his hands.

Jaskier looks up at him, and voice unsteady he says, “she’s cold.”

He sets the barn alight. By the time he’s done it’s growing dark, and the wind has died away. He leaves it to burn on its hilltop, to be sure the creature is dead. He’ll tell the villagers to come back when it’s burned to the ground, to take the bones of their dead and bury them properly. They’ll do it, if not for the right reasons.

The barn is a red-orange blaze in the distance. Down in the valley there’s a chill in the air. He can see Jaskier’s breath, though it’s not cold enough for that. He hasn’t stopped shaking. Geralt builds a fire, so he can warm himself, and sets about fastening the dæmophage’s head to Roach’s saddle.

“Geralt, she’s still cold,” says Jaskier. He’s kneeling too close to the fire, Tansy clutched to his chest, hidden in his cupped hands. He’s stripped off his filthy doublet, dark with the creature’s blood. “Geralt. Geralt. She won’t wake up.”

i don’t know if it actually makes sense for jaskier to have got blood on him but listen i will take any excuse to have him take his doublet off bcos i’m just into it.

“She’ll wake up,” says Geralt.

“Are you sure?” says Jaskier.

“Hm,” says Geralt. He isn’t sure. You can never be sure. But if it had drained enough of the life from her that she was beyond waking, Jaskier’s mind would have broken. She’d be fading away. She was in shock. That was all. She’d wake.

If he’d been fast enough to kill it, but not fast enough to save her – he’d seen it before. He’d seen men and women, their minds broken into icy fragments, spending their last days terrified, in pain, alone. Unable to understand what had happened to them. Sometimes it was more merciful to let the dæmophage finish its meal, and kill them outright.

Not this time. He’d been fast enough.

“She – she won’t wake up, Geralt, she –” Jaskier breaks off in a ragged gasp. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Give her some time,” says Geralt. He fetches a blanket, and tosses it to Jaskier.

Jaskier doesn’t take it. “I can’t wake her up,” he says. “Geralt, what do I do?”

“Stop panicking,” says Geralt.

It’s no good. Jaskier understands what he’s saying, but he can’t keep his thoughts straight long enough to act on it. His mind is clouded. Where his connection to Tansy should be there’s nothing but confusion.

this was a fun opportunity to get a little bit into how the connection between a person and their daemon works :3

“I don’t know what to do,” he says. “I can’t think – Geralt, I can’t –”

His name falls again and again from Jaskier’s lips and it carries a silent plea. Help me. Do something.

He doesn’t know what to do. Or rather he knows what he ought to do, to offer comfort and warmth until this passes, but he doesn’t know how.

If he had seen it sooner. If he hadn’t let Jaskier talk him into taking him into danger. If he’d been quicker, smarter, harsher.

Tansy will get better. Jaskier will walk away from this.

double meaning in ‘walk away from this’ as in ‘survive this’ but also ‘will walk away FROM GERALT because of this’

Tension, behind him. He feels her long before he sees her, long before she ghosts into the firelight on owl-wings. She lands and with a soft rushing of air she’s herself again. Jaskier falls silent, startled at seeing her change, though he knew she cold.

“Jaskier,” she says. “Do you trust me?”

Half-watching, Geralt sees him nod.

“Put her down,” she says.

Jaskier hesitates. “But –”

“I know what I’m doing,” says Dag. “Put her down. Let me see.” Again he refuses, a wordless stammer of protest. “Jaskier. You’re panicking. Breathe deep. Put her down.”

Jaskier lays Tansy down. His hands are still shaking, but his breathing has slowed. That’s something. “What’s happening to her?” he says. “It hurts –”

He’d known it must. But Jaskier hadn’t said so, to him.

Dag noses at Tansy’s tiny, limp body. She licks her, once. “She’s just cold,” she says. “She’s just fainted. She’ll be fine.”

The back of one hand pressed to his mouth, Jaskier sobs.

“Shh,” says Dag. “Jaskier. Be calm.” Then she ducks her head forward, and touches him.

She touches her head to his face, nuzzling him, and at that contact a tremor goes through Geralt like a static shock. It’s only for a moment. Jaskier jerks away from her, as one would if a dæmon came too close by mistake.

this scene was inspired a bit by the part in The Subtle Knife where Pantalaimon physically comforts Will bcos he doesn’t have a daemon to comfort him. Obviously Jaskier does have a daemon, but he’s experiencing her being unconscious while he’s awake for the first time, making him essentially bereft of her.

He turns to look at Geralt, standing by Roach, no longer pretending he isn’t watching this. Their eyes meet. Geralt says nothing. Does nothing.

Jaskier turns back to Dag. Her eyes are lidded. Gingerly, Jaskier raises a hand to touch her. Geralt should cry out stop. He should go over there and drag them apart. He doesn’t.

Jaskier runs his hand over her head, the touch barely-there, just enough pressure to be felt through her fur. Geralt feels that touch like a gentle nudge somewhere within his ribs. It doesn’t feel bad.

He can feel, somehow feel birdsong in that touch. He can feel silk, and music, and laughter. It feels like the smell of perfume and candle smoke. Polished wood beneath his fingers. He’d had another’s hand on Dag before. It did not feel like this.

and THIS description of what touching (or being touched by) a person’s daemon would be like was inspired by how it’s depicted in Disciples of Apollo which is an a+++ daemon AU you should read if you like daemon stuff regardless of whether you’re a fan of M*A*S*H or not... please read it it’s so good.

He wonders what Jaskier feels, touching her.

i do intend to cover this. eventually. if i ever get around to writing more of this series.

Jaskier runs his hand over Dag’s head a second time. She purrs, low and deep in her chest. On the ground, Tansy gasps for breath.

my intention here is that Jaskier’s distress is part of what’s keeping Tansy from waking up, but then as long as she’s unconscious he can’t calm down, so by acting as a kind of stand-in daemon for him Dag is helping him Chill The Fuck Out sufficiently for Tansy to pull herself together.

“Tansy.” Jaskier’s hand falls from Dag’s head, and he reaches for her. “Oh gods, Tansy –” He cradles her in his hands. Her whole body is trembling.

“Jaskier,” she says, and at the sound of her voice all of his breath leaves him, his shoulders shaking, limp, weak with relief. He kisses her, holds her close by his face. Neither of them speak.

Geralt looks away. He meets Dag’s eyes, and she holds his gaze. He understands why she did it. He wouldn’t take it back. He’d do it again, and again. He still doesn’t like it. Dag turns away from him. She lies down beside the fire.

He tucks the blanket around Jaskier’s shoulders, and Jaskier murmurs thanks. He sits. He cleans his sword. The air smells like smoke. They shouldn’t linger here, in the dark. Jaskier’s breath is still fogging the air.

“We should go back to the village,” he says.

“Okay,” says Jaskier. Unsteady on his feet, he levers himself upright with one hand, the other cradling Tansy to his chest. “Okay.”

In the village lights are still burning in the windows. Geralt unties the dæmophage’s mouthless head.

“Should we,” says Jaskier, “talk about this?”

“Hm?” says Geralt.

“You know what I mean,” says Jaskier. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No,” says Geralt, and taking the creature’s head he marches away.

“I’ve heard of mixed signals,” calls Jaskier in his wake. “But this is ridiculous!”

am not actually 100% happy with this part, i wanted to get this line in but i couldn’t get it to mesh w the tone of the scene

The village is too small for an inn, but as well as coin the monster’s head earns them a bed for the night in the alderman’s house, and an invitation to dinner.

The monster’s head, and perhaps Jaskier; Jaskier, whose boyish smile and pretty dæmon had charmed the alderman and his wife at once, Jaskier, who had come back from the hunt pale, and shivering in a way they must recognise.

geralt thinks Tansy is very pretty. that’s just how his tastes run and he genuinely has no idea that most people don’t think nightingales are like, notably pretty.

There’s only one bed in the room they’re given but the alderman’s daughter makes up a cot. He tells Jaskier to take the bed. Jaskier doesn’t argue. Jaskier says nothing at all.

Since his outburst when they reached the village he’s spoken only to say yes and please and thank you. He lies upon the bed, staring at the ceiling, one hand stroking a slow, contemplative circle on his own stomach. Tansy sits on the pillow beside his head, plucking at his hair, grooming at him like a mother cat with a kitten.

Geralt washes the dæmophage’s blood from his hands. It has dried into the creases in his palms, under his fingernails.

“Will you come to dinner?” he says.

“Not very hungry,” says Jaskier.

Stretched out upon the cot, Dag raises her head. “You should eat,” she says.

Geralt sees her indoors so rarely. It takes him off-guard, sometimes, how large she is compared to human things. The alderman and his family must have been startled, to see him go on a hunt without a dæmon and return with one, but they had said nothing about it.

i did not mention that dag is in this scene before she speaks to emphasise that her presence indoors is unusual and unexpected. i am very smart.

She lies alert, tail flicking, watching over Jaskier.

His hands don’t feel clean. He washes them again. “You’re quiet,” he says.

“Hmm?” says Jaskier.

“Are you alright?” says Geralt.

“Since when do you care?” says Jaskier. “I thought you wanted me to shut up.”

“What will it take for you to give me some peace?” he had said, more than once.

“Hell or high water, probably,” Jaskier had answered, sunnily smiling.

If he hadn’t been fast enough. If the creature had taken something that could not be brought back – the light in his eyes. Warmth. A smile he’d never see again. Not like this. He didn’t want it like this.

once again double meaning re geralt thinking that jaskier is going to leave him because of this

He leans heavily upon the washstand. He breathes out. He’d been fast enough. Jaskier was shaken. That was all. He’d be fine.

“I’m just,” says Jaskier. “Thinking.”

“What are you thinking about?” says Geralt.

“What’s it to you?” says Jaskier. A moment’s quiet, and he says, “why don’t elves have dæmons?”

this is my no 1 issue w this fic (which i am otherwise happy with), I really wanted to get this conversation in but wasn’t quite sure where to put it. originally i was going to include it much earlier, and have it be in response to meeting the elves, but i couldn’t get it to work with the pacing and i needed something for them to discuss here so. here it is. i’m not 100% sure it works. i think i understand why jaskier is bringing this up now but i’m not sure how to describe it properly.

The question jars him. It’s like something a child would ask. Why it’s on Jaskier’s mind now, of all times, he can’t imagine. “You know why.”

“I want to hear what you have to say about it,” says Jaskier.

“It’s the way the world is,” says Geralt. “Humans have dæmons. Elves don’t. Others don’t.”

“You’re not human and you have a dæmon,” says Jaskier.

“You know why,” says Geralt again. He can feel Dag’s stare on him, accusing, but he can’t help his frustration. He has the sense that Jaskier is goading him – or trying to catch him out in a lie. He doesn’t know what Jaskier wants from him.

“Do you think it’s lonely?” says Jaskier.

“Being an elf?” says Geralt.

“Mm,” Jaskier agrees.

tbqh it’s just occurred to me now as im re-reading it that part of this is jaskier obliquely asking geralt about his own feelings about having a daemon.

Geralt begins to dry his hands. “You can’t miss what you never had.”

“I don’t know,” says Jaskier. “I miss all sorts of things I’ve never had.”

Geralt waits for him to expand on that thought. But he’s lapsed back into silence. “Elves find dæmons distasteful,” he says. “It bothers them. Like seeing someone with their insides spilling out. They think half-elves born without dæmons are stronger for it.”

At that, mystifyingly, Jaskier laughs a little. “Hear that, Tansy?” he says. “Maybe I would have been stronger if I didn’t have you, like a half-elf. What do you think?”

gjlkghjklghdfj i had so much trouble w this line bcos my beta fully believed that this was jaskier professing that he was half elf so i had to re-write it and somehow at least one reviewer has still thought that was the implication... he’s 100% not half elf in this AU sorry. if i ever get around to writing the sequel it will be evident that he’s not half elf (or like if he is he has no idea)

Tansy clicks her beak. “I think you’d miss me terribly,” she says. “Even if you’d never had me.”

His hands are dry. He stops running the cloth over them, and sets it aside. “Dag’s right,” he says. “You should eat.”

“If you insist,” says Jaskier. “Where are we going next?”

Geralt turns to look at him. He’s gazing up at Tansy, running a finger over her neck. “After dinner?” he says.

“Tomorrow,” says Jaskier. Geralt says nothing, but his silence must speak for itself, for Jaskier looks at him and says, “don’t think you’re getting rid of me that easily.”

“Why?” says Geralt.

“I’m a glutton for punishment, I suppose,” Jaskier says. “Anyway. I’m working on a song and it isn’t finished.”

“Hm?” says Geralt.

Jaskier’s gaze drifts back to Tansy. “Still needs an ending,” he says.

i wasn’t sure how to end this story and this last line is very cheeky eheheh. i can do what i want.

thank you again for requesting!! i hope u enjoy this commentary. it has been a fun diversion. i’m very pleased w this fic and i love talking about daemon AUs. <3

#witcher daemon au

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pappycat89 · 3 years

Text

Just a weird dream that i had last night about gender stuff. Its long, so its under a cut.

I had a dream last night where i was at a party, and ran into some people filming a tiktok where this masculine presenting person did this hair flip that hid a transition to them wearing a wig and feminine makeup and they looked stunning, so i asked them about it and they put me in a wig and makeup and i looked in the mirror and it was amazing. Like, it wasnt my face i saw, but a fully like, female structured face, but i knew it was me and i was so happy. I loved how i looked and couldnt believe it, so i went looking for the perfect mirror to take a selfie in, which meant going inside.

the house i went into wasnt mine on the outside, but the inside was, and it was stupidly big. Like, a huge mansion but also non-Euclidean so the halls and stuff didnt make sense. Anyway, my family kept showing up and interrupting me and asking what i was doing and when they saw the makeup they got all weird and were like "well, if thats something you want to do i guess thats ok, but like, men look silly in makeup so maybe dont do that?" So i left and went to my dads house instead,

When i got there i ran into him and my stepmum. My stepmum didn't seem no notice or care, she was just like "hi, good to see you" gave me a hug and went about her day. My dad seemed pretty supportive and was happy to see me but kept asking me a lot of weird questions that i had to explain. They weren't bad or rude or anything, i just didnt have the energy to answer them and it made me feel like i had to justify why i was doing it and i felt weird.

So i left and decided i didnt need a mirror, so i went to the local park where they had this weird old cave/cliff system on the edge of a lake, so i went to take some artsy photos and stuff, and also be near water because i love water, and i ran into my housemate who had set up this weird camp in a semi-hidden cave. He didn't notice me at first so i tried to senak out as to not disturb him, but i couldnt climb out the way i came because suddenly i was wearing heels. He heard me try and came over to help me out, without any weird comments about my wig or makeup or anything, just that he would be camping there for a few days and to leave some dinner in the fridge for him.

So i wandered away from the cave, towards some shops. At this point i was feeling kinda hopeless, like there was no point in wearing the wig or makeup, or being a girl, because no one accepted it or cared about it and i just wanted to feel happy but every time i tried i got interrupted. As i got to the shops i found this kind of new age store with all these tie-dyed clothes and crystals and stuff. I entered, and instantly started feeling out of place, like everyone would know i was just wearing a wig and not really a girl, so i tried to just stick to myself.

Then, one of the people working there came up to me and she complemented me on my makeup, and gave me some suggestions for other colours they had that would look good, and we started talking about crystals and what ones i was wearing and others they had that would work well, and then an older lady came up and started talking to me about the clothes they had and helped me pick out some outfits. When i went to try some on i found that my body had changed as long as i wore the wig, so suddenly all these clothes fit me and i could wear different cuts, and i was so stupidly happy that i started to cry, so they sat me down and we had some tea and talked and they invited me to a witchy crafting convention on the weekend, and one of the ladies there convinced me to buy some tickets for a lottery they had for a store gift card, so i did cos i had some coins to spare, and she made this big deal about putting my numbers into a bingo ball cage thing and drawing "random" numbers but one of the other workers told me she had rigged the machine and was giving the gift cards to whoever she wanted and just before she could draw my numbers my alarm went off and i woke up.

I've always felt like dreams have meaning to a lot of the content in them. Especially the dreams you remember when you wake up. Its not hard to see what this one means, lol I'm still not ready to try presenting as female, and im not sure i ever will be, but it was a pleasant dream none the less

#personal #just a dream i had #nothing serious

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strangerthingsharrington · 4 years

Text

Can’t Fight This Feeling

-2-

I was waiting patiently in my room for the excitement that I was expecting to hear from my brother once his friends announced themselves.

Over my music, I could hear some of Dustins toys making noise and I realized that they must have set some up in the living room to draw him out.

Probably Will’s idea, he was always the really creative one of the group.

I heard the excited shouts and party horns, then I heard Dust scream then I heard another scream. Then I heard the ‘Are you okay?’ cries.

I hopped off my bed and went out to the living room quickly before seeing Dustin hugging Mike.

“What happened?” I asked.

Dustin looked back at me, “Huuh, they came to surprise me but then they scared me because the toys were going off and I might have sprayed Lucas in the face with hairspray.”

I looked at him wide eyed and he looked right back at me with the same look.

“Hairspray, really?”

“I was trying to protect myself!”

“But with your hairspray? What were you trying to do? Style his eyelashes?”

“Well it wouldn’t have hurt to have them styled!”

I sent him another bewildered look before moving to the kitchen where Max was shoving Lucas’ head back under the water harshly.

“Now, Max,” I started, getting her attention, “you don’t wanna spend your youth in jail so I wouldn’t recommend murder.”

She smiled at me before letting go of her boyfriend, “Well, Lou, what would you do if your boyfriend asked if you had a new zit on your face?”

I looked over at Lucas who had a small embarrassed smile on his face. I tilted my head and grimaced, “Was the water scalding? Because the water should be scalding for that one.

“I agree,” Max said cheerily reaching for the tap of the faucet.

“No! No!” Lucas said, putting his hands over Max’s, who by this time was laughing.

“I’m sorry!” Lucas said with a smile on his face.

“Fine,” she said simply, letting her arms fall back to her sides, “say it again and it will be scalding next,” she said sternly.

He raised his hands in surrender, “Understood.”

“Your eyes good though, for real?” I asked him, walking over.

He nodded and blinked harshly a few times, before wiping away some of the lingering water.

“Yeah, stinging is pretty much gone.”

I snorted and patted his shoulder, “Good, now get back to Dustin, he missed you guys,” I told the two of them.

They nodded before walking around me and back to the living room.

I made my way back through the living room past the group of kids who then greeted me since there wasn’t a chance to before, even Elle who was seemingly, hopefully, coming out of her shell a bit more. She was still clinging onto Mike but it was cute. Young love.

I walked back to my room and absentmindly grabbed a magazine and sat on my bed and flipped through the pages lazily.

My mom eventually came in to my room to see if Dustin and the rest of the party were with me. I told her no and that they probably went with Dustin to set up his radio.

“But I made the dinner he wanted!” she said sadly.

I bit my lip to stop the smile, “I think his words were ‘whatever you want, ma.’”

She pointed her wooden spoon at me before she smiled lightly at me,”Well I guess it’s just a girls night in, do you wanna invite Robin to come over?”

I shook my head thinking about my best friend, “She’s working at Scoops today till nine when the mall closes.”

She nodded, “Well...come on, dinners ready,” she said before disappearing from my doorway.

I sighed and tossed the magazine onto my bed before I got up and followed my mom out, I looked through the window in the kitchen that faced the backyard. Dustins bike was gone from where it had been the last month so I definitely knew he had gone to set up his radio with the party.

After dinner I helped my mom with the dishes before going back to my room. It was getting later and Dustin still hadn’t come back.

I was trying not to be overly concerned. He was at one of two places. Either at the top of the hill talking to Suzie or at Mike’s playing a round of D&D. If they were playing a campaign he usually didn’t show back up at home till later.

After Will’s disappearance almost two years prior mom and I tried to place some more restrictions onto Dustin. But to know Dustin is to know that he’s a bit stubborn. During Will’s disappearance we couldn’t find him for the longest time one night, only to get a call from Mrs. Wheeler saying that Dustin was at their place and the cops and FBI were there. He was grounded for a bit and wasn’t let out of her sight for a little while after that.

Things eventually settled down and life seemed to go back to the same old routine. Even after the truth came out about Barbs disappearance and what was going on at Hawkins lab with their experiments and coverups, mom eventually lightened up and let Dustin get back to his kid business. I didnt necessarily agree with that but that’s just me personally. I just didn’t have a good feeling about letting him wander alone after everything that went on the last almost two years.

I sighed and tossed my magazine over to my desk that was a few feet from me. I got off my bed and kneeled down to look under my bed for the walkie talkie that Dustin made me keep with me, ‘Just in case!’ he would tell me.

I pushed aside some shoes before finally laying my eyes on it, I grabbed it and pulled it out, I stood up and turned it on, making sure it was on the station he set aside just for me. I sat on the edge on my bed with the stupid thing in my hand crackling at me. My leg was bouncing. I checked my bedside table and saw that my alarm clock said it was 8:30pm.

Not that my mom wouldn’t care if i went to her mentioning that Dustin hasn’t been home in hours, but she’d probably tell me to leave him be, that he was finally back from camp and hanging out with his friends.

I pursed my lips and ran my finger through my hair, getting rid of the few knots that were there because of the curls.

I stood up and grabbed my bag. Maybe just a quick drive over to the Wheelers to clear my mind on his location. If he wasn’t there I would check the hill in case he was still there for some reason.

I was just reaching my bedroom door when I heard his voice break through the cracking static.

“Lou, it’s Dustin, do. You. Copy?? Over!”

I held the walkie talkie up to my mouth, “Dustin? Are you okay?”

Silence for a moment before his exasperated voice came back over the airwaves, “Lou,” he complained, “you HAVE to say over or else i dont know when to talk! Over!”

I rolled my eyes my worried feelings became replaced by irritation over his common sass, “Oh my God, are you okay? Over!”

He cleared his throat on the other end, “Yeah, just that everyone left me on the hill and it’s dark out so I don’t wanna ride my bike home...could you come and pick me up? Over.”

I sighed, “Are you still on the hill? Over.”

“Yeah. Over.”

“And you’ve been there for hours by yourself? Over.”

“Yeah. Over.”

“Wow, what an exciting way to officially start your summer. Over.”

He scoffed at me, “Just shut up and get over here. Over and out.”

I snorted and tossed the walkie talkie into my bag before going to the living room where mom was sitting with Tews in her lap watching TV. I grabbed the keys from the hall table and told her quickly I was getting Dustin. I was out the door before I heard her response.

I drove down the familiar Hawkins road to the hill in question. Upon arrival I parked and looked along the bottom trying to spot the curly headed kid, but it was empty. I shut off the car and got out.

“Dustin?” I called as I walked along part of the bottom of the hill.

That little shithead, I thought. Made me come over here and he’s not even down the hill.

“I’m gonna kill him,” I decided as I began the long trip up the hill.

I finally saw the top and heard talking, I wondered if he had gotten in touch with Suzie.

When I reached the top his back was to me, and I could hear the talking from his machine, but it definitely wasn’t English. Was that...Russian?

“Dustin?” I asked quietly.

He screamed and jumped to face me, with his hand resting on his chest.

“You scared the shit outta me!”

“Who was talking out of that?” I asked him taking a step towards him.

His eyes began shifting back and forth, “What?”

I nodded to the huge radio tower he created, “Talking from that thing? Who was it? Didn’t sound like a girl from Salt Lake City, Dust.”

He shook his head quickly, grasping his hand held walkie talkie in one hand and a tape recorder in the other.

“Nothing, just some interference. Let’s go.”

“What do you mean interference? Whoever that was, was speaking a different language.”

“So? It’s fine. I don’t know what it was, Lou. Let’s just go!” he demanded before walking past me beginning his descent down the hill.

I turned around and looked at his retreating back, I gritted my teeth and followed him all the way down to moms car.

He opened the front door and tossed his shit in before walking over to the tree line where I made out the faint outline of a bike. I went around to his side of the car and opened the back door so we could force the bike back there but when he came back he was empty handed.

“Bike?” I questioned.

He shook his head at me, “I’ll come back for it, I just wanna go home.”

“What if something happens to it, mom will be-“

“Then I’ll deal with it!” he said loudly, “Jesus, Lou I’m not a little kid!”

“Don’t take it out on me because your friends left you on the hill alone, Dustin! That’s not my problem!”

“Can we just go home?” he cried, “That’s why I called you here, not for a damn lecture,” he said before taking the open back door where his bike was supposed to go and slamming it shut right next to me.

“You better fix your attitude,” I told him as he slid into the passenger seat and closed the door a bit more gently.

I went to the drivers side and go in.

“Wanna talk about the little temper tantrum?” I asked turning to look at him.

He sighed deeply and leaned his head back, “I’m sorry...they just...they all left, Louise,” he told me sadly, “I’m gone for a month and it’s like everything changed or something. Mike and Elle left to make out or some shit-“

I held up my hand, “I just have to interject that I’ve known that kid his whole life so that’s a bit much for me to know,” I said, Dustin turned to face me with an unamused expression.

I cleared my throat, “Continue,” I said simply.

“Anyways. Then Will kept wanting to play D&D and none of them even believe that Suzie is real. And then the three of them left and it just pissed me off. I’m sorry I took it out on you.”

I nodded once, “I’m sorry, Dust. The party...you’re all getting older...some priorities change y’know? As far as Suzie being real, I beleive you.”

He smiled a bit at me, “Thanks, Lou.”

I smiled back at him, “But what was with that talking though?”

He looked away from me and put on his seatbelt, “No idea, like I said...probably some interference. Doesn’t matter couldn’t understand them anyways so...yeah,” he said drifting off.

I looked at him for another few seconds, but I knew he was pretty much done with this conversation.

I put my seatbelt on too and started the car driving back to our house. The ride was silent except for the quiet radio music in the background. I wanted to ask him why he was being so weird now, but I knew he would deflect. So I dropped it. For now.

Once I parked the car Dustin jumped out, grabbing his tape recorder tightly in both hands with his walkie talkie tucked under his arm, only letting go to open the front door and disappear inside before I had even closed my car door.

I leaned against the car and I knew...I was going to get to the bottom of it, I knew there was something going on and I was going to find out.

As always, GIF credit to owner and title credit to REO Speedwagon.

#steve harrington #steveharrington #stranger things #strangerthings #imagine #stever harrington imagine #dustin henderson

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willow-salix · 4 years

Text

Isolation update!

Day 66 of Isolation of Isolation on Tracy Island and Virgil and I have been very busy putting together some ideas for things to send out to bored children stuck in lockdown. All of us have contributed but the rest of the boys and Kayo were intent on producing their own things. I wasn't about to rock the boat by asking what they were doing, I was just happy that they were actually doing something constructive for once. It had been rather weird to see just how well they had taken to the lounging lifestyle of lockdown. Where once they were in a constant state of the zoomies, they were now more than happy to laze around on the couch and not move all day. Sometimes you had to physically move them or tempt them with food like a dog with a treat. Come here, Alan, good boy, follow the cookie!

“What about this one?” Virgil asked me, pushing his tablet my way.

“Oh,yes, that's brilliant, I love it! This was such a good idea, I'm so glad we did this.”

“Me too!” he grinned, but then his smile dropped a tiny bit. “Do you really think they will like them?”

“Numpty,'' I punched his arm gently, though it was like hitting granite and I doubt I could ever hurt him if I tried. “They are gonna love them. Who wouldn't?”

He shrugged.

“Hang on just one second and I’ll prove it.” I jumped up and crossed over to the door and opened my mouth, yelling at the top of my lungs. “Everyone to the kitchen!” I have much practice in this, I can shout over any of them even at their most noisy and no one would dare to ignore me except Brains who ignores everyone when he's in a mood. I went off to gather supplies.

Alan was the first to appear, closely followed by Gordon. Scott wandered in next, with Jeff just after, Grandma next, then Kayo, with John wandering in last and only because I caught up with him in the lounge and forced him to obey. I gave him one of the boxes I was carrying and followed after him.

Everyone had settled around the kitchen table where we had been camped out by the time John and I returned. They all looked at Virgil expectantly.

“Don’t look at me,” Virgil said. “She’s the one that yelled.”

“We just wanted to share our project with you all and see if you would test it out for us,” I told them.

“Sure, what do we have to do?” Alan asked, always willing to please.

I took the box off John, opened it and then dumped it out on the table top, coloured pencils and pens raining down, rolling in all directions.

“We made colouring pages, obviously Picasso here has done the bulk of the drawing and they are amazing, now we need them tested out.”

“You want us to do colouring? Like kids?” Scott asked, not looking convinced.

“No, like adults.”

“Not gonna happen,” John shook his head.

“You guys dont have to,” Virgil assured them, “I told her it was a stupid idea.”

I smacked him again. “Hush, we won't force them.”

“I’m down to try,” Gordon was already searching through the pens to find colours he liked.

I added a small pile of print outs to the table and let them select the ones they wanted.

Gordon and Alan went straight for their crafts while Scott picked out a cartoon Virgil to colour. Grandma took her time to look through the pile before picking out a picture. Virgil had outdone himself, doing simplified cartoon designs of the crafts, his brothers and a few action scenes. They were absolutely amazing and I didnt know how he could think differently.

I picked out a cartoon of John and started colouring him in. John, Kayo and Jeff just watched and I could see Virgil’s eyes flicking in their direction but I gave him a picture of Thunderbird Two to colour and he got to work.

It took a few minutes, but eventually Jeff reached out a hand and snagged a picture of Thunderbird One and selected a nice grey to start colouring in the body.

John was next, sneakily reaching out a hand to snag a piece of paper, starting to colour in Alan’s suit.

Kayo held out the longest, made an impatient huffing noise as she gave in and picked out Thunderbird Shadow to colour.

Virgil slid a look my way and I smiled back at him. I love being proven right, no one can resist the lure of a colouring page no matter how old they are. Everyone had their heads down and were concentrating hard on keeping in the lines, it was peaceful and nice to all be together doing the same thing.

“Aww, this is nice,” I commented, sharing a pen with Virgil because we are adults and can do that sort of thing.

As is often the case, I spoke too soon. I jinxed it. I’m dumb. I will never learn.

“Hey! I needed that one!” Alan smacked at Gordon as Gordon stole the pen he wanted. Alan had finished his picture of Three and had moved on to coloring a scene of Two and Four.

“Tough, I got there first.”

“Boys, let’s not fight,” Jeff scolded mildly, not really putting much effort into it.

Alan glared but found another colour that he thought might work. Gordon, being the little sod that he is, didn't even use the pen, putting it back down again as soon as Alan was distracted.

“Why have you made my hair blue?” John asked me.

“Because you’re fancy.”

“It’s really not my colour.”

“That’s for me to decide.”

He shook his head but didn't bother arguing with me, even when I started colouring his suit in purple .

“I look really good,” Virgil praised Scott as he finished up the picture and moved on to colouring in Sherbert.

We all jumped when a sudden choking cough broke the quiet. My head shot up in time to see Gordon take a pen lid out of his mouth. I swear that boy isn't safe to be left unsupervised, he's a danger to himself.

Jeff finished his picture and moved on to another, while I started colouring in Scott.

Kayo was working hard on her picture of Shadow and , obviously feeling creative, had taken the cartoon drawing of herself, coloured it and cut it out to place next to Shadow on her page.

Grandma was trying to collect one of every grandson and stole my completed picture of John.

Alan, getting even for the pen incident, grabbed a picture of Gordon and started the process of turning him into an alien. Gordon got annoyed and scribbled over the face. There was almost a fight...I don't want to get into it right now. I distracted them with cookies and took the pens away, leaving them with just the colouring pencils.

“Got any milk?” Alan asked me, smiling adorably.

“Sure.”

I opened the fridge to get the milk, frowning when I saw a red sock tied through the handle of the milk jug.

“Scott?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you put this on that pile behind you?”

I tossed him the sock.

He caught it one handed, raising his fist in triumph as he leapt to his feet.

“Finally! Scotty is a free elf!” he yelled, making everyone jump as he raced out of the kitchen, waving the sock above his head .

“I told you it wasnt me that was hiding them!”

And that was how we found out why there were socks appearing all over the house and that it wasn't Gordon after all. But at least Virgil now knows that I was right, no one can say no to a colouring page.

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds 2015 #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #isolation island #social isolation #isolation #self isolating

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sweater-daddiesdumbdork · 4 years

Note

I know is mine. You know her well so I doubt you would miswrite her and I would love to read a story you make with them. You had free hands. To anyone reading this Ambie and I have a roleplay couple completely original characters. Where Kaley Cuoco and Chris Evans are the face claims. ❤❤❤

A/N- well thank you for the confidence. I do love our couple to the moon and back babes 🐺💙

In the days he returned home after that mission, Liberty done everything to make sure Robert knew he was home, safe. There were long nights and withdrawn days, where she would find him wandering the house, lost In his actions till she couldnt bare to see him searching like this. Searching to fall back into there life.

Many nights Liberty would cup his face to have him look at her, whispering all her love into him, until he shifted, blue eyes coming into focus and his anguished whisper. "Fuck Liberty, I'm sorry, it happened again, didnt it."

"Robert, you have nothing to apologize for." Her smile was whisper soft as she leaned up to place a loving kiss on his lips and lead him to bed finally, his features exhausted and late into the night she would watch over him, her head laying on his chest, listening for that tell tale gasp of a breath to signal his nightmare had returned.

But Robert wasnt always lost in those past months. Some days he was back to the man she had fallen in love with, the one that wrapped his arms around her from behind and kissed on her in that way that his beard tickled her, causing her to pretend to try to escape but twist instead to face him. Arms wrapping around his neck and give each other kissing bites and teasing grabs in play. There would be the everyday errands, hand holding while driving down the road, picking up supplies for her parents bar at the local store. Nights he would play pool with friends while she worked her shift at the bar, after closing he would help her clean up for the night. Once the lights were off and the door locked, he would take her right there on the bar counter, rugged and dirty, till the bar shook underneath thrusting hips, the two of them finishing with chuckles at the idea of being caught. No, it wasnt all bad, they had each other for better or worst.

It was a warm summers evening and Liberty had the night off. So they opted to drive down to the privacy of the lake that edged between her alpha father and uncles land. For the most part it was empty, short of a few people camping that had asked permission from Glen and Zac before hiking in. Robert laid stretched out, staring up at the sky just turning twilight with specks of stars dimly lighting the night. The high pitched crickets had started there singsong breaking the quiet lull. Libertys head rested on his stomach, stretched the opposite way, and her eyes were closed, enjoying the feeling of Roberts fingers brushing though her gold locks.

"Sweetness, you should run tonight…. Its going to be gorgeous, and you've barely done it since ive been home." Robert said quietly as his head tipped to look down at her. Liberty gave a soft shrug and rolled to her hip to face him, sliding up closer till she was on his chest, her fingers brushing along his jawline.

"I dont want to leave you alone." It was impossible to hide the worry laced through them, making Robert sigh softly, knowing why she stayed so close.

"Babygirl, I promise I'm okay today." He smiled to assure her and moved to sit up, in which she followed, but before she could pull away, his arm traveled around her and he pulled her in his lap. "You will come home to me, I promise." A light clasp on her chin between thumb and forefinger, he kissed her slowly, exploring with light strokes of his tongue, and Liberty leaned into him, her hand lightly cupping the back of his neck.

"Are you sure?" She leaned her forehead against his, torn at the idea. It was an itch now, having been to long, and yet…. When he shut off from her, trapped in his mind, it scared her.

"Trust me Sweetness" Robert smiled and kissed across her face, his hand tapping her ass lightly. "Go on, I will drive the truck home and leave the door unlocked."

Because he insisted, Liberty couldnt help but grin with excitement, pulling herself to a stand, she stripped down, tossing her clothes in a teasing manner at Robert who smirked watching glimpses of her bare ass streaking into the brush. Leaning back on his elbows he waited, it wouldn't be long now. Far off on the other side, he could see the start of a campfire on one of the lakes beaches.

A rustle made him tip his head and the sight of a white blur made him laugh, Liberty prancing up to him and rubbing her muzzle into his neck, huffing warmth against his face as she inhaled his scent.

"Theres my girl" Robert said softly, his hand burying into the thick fur, and burying his face into her softness. He didnt know how, but her undercoat was softer then even rabbit fur to him. A pink tongue caught the side of his face and he scrunched his entire face, glaring at Liberty. "Seriously babe?" He laughed as she threw back her head yipping in laughter as well, still prancing around him, ducking in here and there to tease. Snuffling his hair, nipping and tubbing at his shirt, brushing against his back.

"Okay, get outta here babygirl" he chuckled as she sat next to him, letting the tip of her muzzle rest on his shoulder. "We can play tonight"

With a finale affectionate nuzzle, Liberty slipped off, Robert watching her pace lightly, and like a whisp of fog, she was gone. Minutes later her lilting howl filled the dark sky, and she was promptly answered with deep answering calls higher up the mountain, welcoming her back.

#amber requests #amber request #original oc #robert and liberty

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pbandjesse · 4 years

Text

Jess is texting me and shes super upset because she had now tried to order food 3 times but each time the place calls and there is a reason they cant give her her order. And apparently her landlord caught her oven on fire today so she cant cook at home. I am trying to talk her down but shes really upset. We are so simpler in our meltdowns sometimes. But it is so hard to try to talk her down through text and I hate that she doesnt have someone like James there to ground her. Ugh. I just want my friend to be happy.

It makes me want to be better so I can be there for her though. Like I am very tired and in pain but I am trying to hold off any sad feelings I might have because I need to be there for her.

And today was a good day. I am just tired.

I slept well but I didnt want to get up. Once I did I felt okay. I was annoyed because my stupid toothbrush isnt working right. Which made me leave a couple minutes later then I wanted. Not that it actually matters because no one notices if youre a few minutes late at camp. But still.

I really liked my outfit today. And I used spin pins to put my hair back and that made me feel real cue. I said goodbye to James and headed out. And like I thought no one noticed when I was there a little later. Other people came after me. I felt very. Isolated today. Not for the whole day, but I mostly just wanted to be alone. People seem concerned about it but I just want to spend time with me.

And my chest still hurt. So I talked to the nurse and she said to come by later. But first was check in. Except they didnt need me to walk anyone over to their cabins. Again. Like always. Just let me stay in the arts building you dont even need me!! But I did get a couple kids and walked them up as I was going to the arts shed but they only came with me because I stopped Ellen from walking them up since I was going over there anyway.

After I dropped them off I went to get the art from yesterday. Took that all over to the cabins. I brought the doll eyes for one of the little girls that's stuffie lost an eye yesterday. And then I went to get set up.

I didnt have the YPL student today, she'll be back friday apparently. But thats okay, Like I said I enjoyed my own company today. I had some podcasts to listen to. I set up my projects and chilled for a while.

I did some cleaning. And I waited for my groups. I had 2 groups today, but they were big groups! 13 kids each. Which yes isnt actually big. But its big for camp.

But honestly both groups were great. The first group I did have some behavioral issues with one boy who screamed at me. But they are littles and I just looked and him and I was like "Youre not going to hurt my feelings?" Like he was screaming because he had to wait to use to the bathroom? I cant let you wander away calm down.

But they were still a good group and they did a good job making their stencil arts.

I had a big break in the middle. I went to the nurse and got some ibuprofen. Which I then dropped in the field, didnt notice until I got back to the shed, and had to search for it. But I found it. And it helped a lot.

In my time before lunch I collected materials and made sure I had enough for the thursday groups. I had to go and get a student list which was a whole thing.

And while I waited for that I played Bop It! I hadnt played that in a long long time but I got the high score. It was beat a few times after that today but it was fun in that moment to get the highscore on my first time playing in over a decade.

I had lunch on the porch. Enjoyed talking to other counselors. But soon after that I took a long walk around camp. Went and pet the ponies. Checked on Lani the rat. Still alive. And then back to arts and crafts to wait for my group.

The second group had more issue with the project but they were still great. And their counselor Matt is super helpful. Like he kept asking and I was like Im good! But I appreciate the offers regardless.

I finished up cleaning after the kids headed out. I had like an hour before pick up so I tried to get some of the reclaimed clay I had in the water bucket dried and read to use. But omg. It smells like death. I dont know why but it smells so horrible. I put it between some large pieces of paper and left it out and well see if it improves but this might be a loss. I have plenty of clay for next week so Im not worried but I am frustrated. I washed my hands like 6 times and still struggled to get the terrible smell off.

After I did though I went to offer help with pick up but again they do not need me. So when there was a need to walk a child to the other side of camp I offered my services and then took the bus kids down from there to the office on my way back. I just want to be helpful. It was funny though one of my jobs in walking the kids was to stop them from eating the wineberries on the paths. Like they are basically ripe but they eat them all and then we dont have them for jam making and dying fabrics. I want to try these berries though. Maybe that will be an experiment tomorrow.

I headed home after that. Was really glad to be back here. It felt like a longer drive than normal. And more and more cars are on the road and I hate that. But I got back in one piece. And Mr Will was painting in the foyer. It was nice to see him. He fixed the broken part of the roof which was nice. I joked with him for a minute. Then I saw I had some packages and was excited about that.

I went upstairs. Had a snack. Opened my packages. One was my causebox and I know they had some issues because of the pandemic so while it wasnt the best box, it is still a good one. I got a fancy facial brush thing. And honestly it made my skin feel so soft when I used it to wash my face. Awesome.

I played animal crossing for a little. I painted my nails. And now I am just laying here hoping Jess is okay and wishing James was home.

Tomorrow is my day without classes. I have some stuff to do for this week and next. And then I might do some planning for future weeks. Because projects are supposed to start repeating but I am not 100% sure how Im doing that. So I will try to work through that and get supplies. Well see.

I hope you all have a nice night tonight. Sleep good.

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thetwistedclocks · 6 years

Text

so like,,,, couldn’t focus and did this instead

- time for a hunting trip or patrol or whatever everyone’s there and alive we got the whole gang: arthur, leon, percival, elyan, gwaine, lancelot, and merlin

-this is an au so gwen and lancelot just are together and there was no drama with arthur

- gorgeous day, kinda hot though so they decide to stop for lunch and fuel up

- le bandits sneak up on them, and attack

-everything is just like a typical fight, everybody but merlin is whirling around, doing their thing

-merlin is behind a tree, doing little stuff to make sure no one is wounded badly or killed

-our shining knights wipe everyone out, just a ton of bloody bodies scattered around the clearing except they missed one

-this little rat sneaks up behind merlin and he’s got a knife poised to kill merlin

- arthur yells desperately for merlin to move, he cannot lose him not after morgana, not after his father, no no no

- merlin whips around to defend himself, but he has no weapons, everyone else is too far away to help, and without thinking he blows the man back twenty feet, where he hits a tree and dies

- everyone is frozen in place

-merlin slowly turns around to see arthur because oh shit

- arthur says no in a strangled, desperate voice

- arthur’s face contorts and he then starts to scream: how could you, you lying bastard, i trusted you, you were my best friend

- gwaine preemptively moves towards merlin, fearing for merlins safety

- lancelot does the same

-merlin just quietly says im sorry and then whirlwinds out of there but lancelot and gwaine were close enough to get sucked in with him

-the trio lands in a forest pretty far away from camelot, and merlin just curls up into a ball

-gwaine and lancelot look at each other and merlin in shock and have a silently mouthed conversation above merlin’s head

- Gwaine: what the fuck Lancelot: shit ok did you know Gwaine: I kinda had some idea but I never dug too deep into it, did you know? lancelot: yes, he saved my life by killing the griffin with magic Gwaine: so what now Lancelot: I guess we’re fugitives with him now Gwaine: he’s not gonna move for a bit, we need to take care of him until he recovers Lancelot: agreed, lets find shelter for the night

- and they do they just build a fire and make sure merlin’s warm and has some water but he refuses food

-back with arthur the remaining knights suggest going after the trio but arthur shuts them down, hes not letting himself show any emotion

-they ride back to camelot, everyone finds out, gaius is just broken at this cause he cant see merlin or help him anymore, gwen decides to leave camelot without telling anyone to search for her best friend and love, she forgives merlin but wants an explanation, arthur turns in on himself and closes himself off, hes curt and cold, the other knights just dont talk about it though they each slowly forgive the trio over a long period of time

-after a week of no talking, merlin finally speaks to gwaine and lancelot and says: “lets go back home, I can face arthur, and you two can rejoin the knights

-they immediately refuse, saying that they trust and love merlin, and they chose to stay with him

-merlin brings up gwen in hopes to convince at least lancelot but he says its safer for her in camelot and he trusts he’ll see her again someday

-merlin just cant argue anymore, hes tired, and mourning everything he’s lost

-in the morning, they decide well we gotta live somewhere so they figure out where they are, which is western camelot on the very edge at the foot of a mountain range that marks camelot’s border

-they set up a little cabin just outside a nearby village and live their lives

-pretty soon, after occasionally being in the village for supplies, the villagers get suspicious and ask them questions

- they just so happen to catch merlin, who’s a terrible liar, and he blurts out hes a healer

-this village has 0 healers so they start to bring their sick to merlin, who heals them for free, which results in lots of gifts of food and other stuff

-gwaine and lancelot start teaching sword fighting to keep themselves sharp and help out the village

-things are chill like this for a few months

-gwen is still wandering around, learns a bit about magic, and is just traveling through western camelot, hoping to find the trio

-back in camelot, arthur is cracking down on magic

-he isn’t killing people, but anyone found guilty of magic or anything is locked away in these cells uther had made under the regular dungeon out of sorcerers’ bones that contains magic, its like a second purge, just without the executions

-gwen knows this and wants merlin to come back and stop arthur

-lancelot and gwaine slowly gets merlin’s entire story out of him, and see him as a leader now

-merlin is quieter, more reserved, and rarely uses magic at all

-one time this little girl, maybe 10, is brought to merlin wiht a weird set of symptoms

-merlin immediately knows shes developing magic, so he sends the parents away, promising he will heal her, and then he tells her

-she is scared of not being abole to control her new powers but isnt scared of having the magic itself, and tells merlin that her parents are ok with magic too

-the next day he meets with her family, and they discuss it, and eventually, they all decide that he can train her

-so like a few weeks go by of this, and then another person comes to merlin

-this time its an older woman and she wants to learn how to control her magic

-pretty soon merlin is training a lot of people and gets a reputaion

-gwaine and lancelot are worried about how little he sleeps, and how little he talks about the past, they cant help him though

-gwen hears about this village, where magic is celebrated, and finds it

-she arrives, and runs into gwaine, who takes her hand and runs shouting throught the village back to the cottage where lancelot is training

-happy reunion yay

-she and merlin talk, she gets his full story, and he is just a little happier knowing that she’s there but he also finds out about whats going on in camelot

-in camelot, all of the knights just dont talk to arthur anymore, for fear of his verbal abuse

-hes crushed that gwen is gone too, and feels that he has been abandoned

-more and more magic users flock to this village until rumors reach all the way back to camelot

-arthur orders a raid, he orders no killing

-he doesn’t lead it, but eventually, 20 knights or so attack the village

- a lot of magic users are taken, and a few people killed in fires set by the knights

-merlin feels responsible and decides that his merry band of misfits needs to be safer and a whole lot more defended

-so he and a majority of the village move into the mountains

-merlin is now the accidental leader of a rebel camp

-its called camp maxia(magic in galcian/gaelic) and its inhabitants maxians

-years go by, as the camp grows with refugee families and those from villages attacked by bandits because the knights are all out looking for magic users and not protecting anybody

-merlin, with his right hands gwaine, lancelot, and gwen run maxia as a safe place for everyone, and he creates a name for himself as lord maxia to protect his real identity

-arthur knows about maxia, obviously, but doesn’t have the forces to take it down

- during this time gwen and lancelot have this huge wedding, very magical, and very nature themed

- so arthur has most knights out around camelot, and morgana knows this, she joins forces with cenred and takes camelot with ease

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan get out together

-percival suggests going to lord maxia for help, as he’s got quite a sizable force and has been kind to camelot in not attacking them

-arthur immedietly shuts him down

-they camp outside of the city for about a week, a couple civilians find them and tell arthur whats happening in camelot

-morgana is starving the people and killing those who act up

-arthur still loves his people, more than he hates magic

-so he agrees to go to lord maxia

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan set out with the few civilians; the knights are each secretly hoping to see merlin at camp maxia, arthur is secretly terrified of that happening

-they’re picked up by a maxia patrol and held in a makeshift cell until lord maxia accepts them into the camp, cause they’re wearing camelot stuff

-merlin is told of a group from camelot in the cells and knowing of camelot’s state immedietly send gwen and lancelot to meet them

- they expect a few knights and prepare to ask how they can help take back camelot

-when they see its elyan, arthur, leon, and percival they have the civilians released and cared for and sit down to talk to them

-arthur wont look at them, so leon speaks, and talks about whats been happening

-gwen offers maxia’s help, and lancelot says that planning would be a lot easier if they weren’t in a cell, and asks if they want to be processed into camp maxia

-the processing entails a quick truth potion along the lines of veritiserum

-leon says he couldnt speak for the whole group, so lancelot says its a personal choice

-percival volunteers first, and then the other knights agree to it as well

-arthur is silent, but livid

-the knights are processed, and meet merlin, and for a night they all have a meal together and its almost normal

-in the morning, merlin goes to see arthur, except he conceals his identity

-they talk, arthur is bitter, merlin is cryptic

-after a few days arthur realizes that in order to help his people he needs to set his anger aside and is processed

-merlin, identity still hidden, administers the test

-under this truth potion, arthur is honest about his views on magic in ways he didnt even realise

-merlin keeps his identity hidden for the planning, much to everyone’s dismay, but they respect his decision

-an attack on camelot is planned

-arthur at this point is slowly trusting knights again, and gwaine, lancelot, and gwen

-they ride for camelot, with camp maxia’s army

-the knights, including lancelot and gwaine, are with arthur and merlin, who’s identity is still hidden

-gwen leads the medical group behind them

-the battle begins, fought by merlin’s men against cenred’s army

-morgana threatens to kill the imprisoned sorcerers

-arthur and merlin, still hidden, fight their way to the throne room

-its just them and morgana and the sorcerers

-arthur is thrown by morgana into the sorcerers

-then its down to merlin to stop her

-so they fight, a big badass magical fight scene

-merlins cover is blown, hes hurt, looks like hes losing

-arthur is flipping out because its merlin and he forgot how much he missed him

-merlin is about to be stabbed by a magical bolt from morgana and arthur just screams merlin’s name

-merlin hears this and needs to live so he can talk to arthur so he defeats morgana

-battles over, people are freed

-merlin is chilling on top of the castle when arthur comes up

-they talk, for a long long time

-when they come down, merlin is forgiven, but not trusted, and magic is now not illegal

-merlin is made the court sorcerer, lancelot and gwaine knights, and gwen is a lady too cause she’s married to lancelot

-the foursome is now part of the round table and camp maxia is disbanded, no longer needed, and becomes a city at the foot of the mountains

-the knights can protect villages now

-all is right, except merlin and arthur still have this great distance

-gaius retires and just chills in merlins tower

-one time he’s out doing something important and arthur breaks his leg in training

-hes brought to merlin, who very very quietly asks if he can heal arthur using magic

-arthur agrees, and he sees merlin use good magic for the first time ever

-this breaks down a barrier

-arthur visits merlin and talks about matters of state

-eventually just his day

-and then he trusts merlin again

-they become best friends once more

-then one night at a ball, merlin is being flirted with by a very attractive knight

-arthur gets really possesive and jealus

-he grabs merlin’s arm and tugs him away, saying something about court matters

-he dragsmerlin back to his room, huffy and angry, not letting go of his arm

-merlin asks what they need to talk about, and he doesn’t get an answer

-next he asks gently whats wrong

-at this point they’re at arthur’s chambers

-there’s no gaurds, they’re at the ball

-he tugs merlin into his room and just glares at him

-merlin is confused and asked what he did wrong, scared to lose arthur again

-arthur just groans and looks away and mumbles something about nothing

-merlin walks over, puts his hand on arthurs back, and says: “well its clearly not, tell me whats going on.”

-arthur just stays quiet

-merlin persists: “arthur please dont shut me out like this”

-arthur suddenly pins merlin to the door

-he just growls, “dont flirt with him”

-merlin is very confused and kinda scared because hes always loved arthur but arthur definitely doesn’t never ever in a million years feel the same way

-he quietly says why not

-arthur just. stares at him. “are you serious?”

-”yes?”

-and arthur just does the whole possesive door kiss thing

-merlin got a light bulb

-a few months later they’re married

-merlin is crowned king

-the end

just, random idea thats been bouncing around. should it be a fic?

#merlin fic #merthur #writing #arthur #merlin #gwen #gwaine #lancelot #gwen x lancelot #idk that ship name

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maddiphicent · 4 years

Text

Paramay Day 3- Partners in Crime

(I apologize in advance that this is so long. Theres just so much information that goes along with this one and it's the para I'm most proud of that I really wanna infodump. Note this takes place in the once upon a time universe)

This is the story of the 2 people known to be the most dangerous people in the enchanted forest, Goldilocks and Drizella. After Goldilocks' dad, Rumplestiltskin, is thrown into jail, the royal guard comes to search his house for any valuables and stolen riches. As only one other person knew Rumplestiltskin had a daughter, Goldilocks quickly disguises herself as a prisoner of Rumple's, claiming she was captured 2 years prior when her parents gave her up to him. She said her name was Anastasia after the main character in a book she just read. The princess Cinderella makes the decision to allow her to live under their roof as the royal seamstress which pleases Goldilocks because now she can gather information about where her father is being held. It was there she met Drizella and fell in love almost immediately. Drizella wanted her too, but was already betrothed to a rich man. (Side note: if your wondering why Drizella is living under Cinderella's roof, her step mom uses magic to make her forget she was cruel to her).

After being caught kisisng in the corridor, Drizella was about to be sent away to immediately marry her betrothed. Goldilocks quickly formulates a plan to get the information on where her father is and to help Drizella escape in one night. Already a skilled swordswoman, she kills half the royal guards and breaks into Cinderella's room. She demands the map to where her father is being held, threatening to kill the pregnant princess if she doesnt get what she wants. Goldilocks is not a violent person, and never even planned on hurting the princess. The prince tells her where Rumple is but no more. In a panic, when the doors are burst open by more guards, she nicked the princesses stomach and jumps out the window where Drizella was waiting with horses to make their escape and go into hiding.

They spend most of their time in a tavern by the docks. No self respecting royal would go there as it was known for the pirate ships that tended to flock there. It was riddled with thieves, pirates, murderers, the best kind of crowd. Goldilocks was good at getting information from these people, to the point where she built a reputation. She would trade information with you, but not with money or riches, but with information of greater or equal value. Mostly it was where the entrance to caves and the evil queen, Regina's castle. Sometimes it was secrets on people, if their wives were cheating on them, boring stuff to Goldilocks. Drizella watched her as she traded secrets. It was almost like Goldilocks was a different person. So...cool, cold...sinister? If given wrong information she watched as Goldilocks would strike them down instantly in front of everyone then calmly sit back down, brush the blood off her gloves onto her handkerchief, then demand water to clean her dagger.

Drizella loved it. She wanted to be like this. She wanted to be feared and respected. She begged Goldilocks to teach her how to fight and she obliged. She took her to where she learned, illegal skitz fights, which took place under the bar ever 2 days. They started as a place for kids to learn how to be trained to actually fight in the ogre wars, but later became a place to let off steam. Every other day it was kids from as young as 10-19 to learn how to fight, on the other days it was for adults. As it was illegal, everyone went by an alias. Goldilocks was just Locks as noone would even believe her real name was Goldilocks anyway. Drizella chose Gem after the emerald dress Locks once made for her. Rules were simple, only fight to maim, and everyone votes at the end to see if it was a fair fight. If not, the victor then goes into a battle to the death with the best fighter. A healer was nearby to heal any wounds. It was mostly fun for the kids just to hang out and chill, while a fight went on in the background.

Drizella was a fast learner, and while never besting Goldilocks, she still became skilled enough to handle herself. Several times people would ransack their camp and they would take them out with ease. They built up a reputation as the most dangerous couple in the kingdom, though they didnt do much. Hell, it wasn't that they were all that dangerous, they were just quick. Most pirates (hell most people) liked to make a show and a game out of it, with witty banter and teasing. Goldilocks and Drizella didn't toy with their opponents, they stuck them down before they even saw a weapon. They never started anything, only finished. Attack if attacked. Nothing more than that. Except with wrong information.

You see, in this tough tavern you had to make yourself known to not be messed with. If given wrong information, Goldilocks didnt enjoy killing people, but she needed it to be known to not even try tricking her. She spent her whole life studying maps, reading books, sneaking out of her house to listen to people in bars and taverns. Shes read her fathers journals about his exploits and travels. And a magical relic she stole from in her fathers study that tells if one is being truthful or not helped too. She would only trade information as long as the motive behind it wasnt revenge. However, there were 2 exceptions to this, she would trade any information for, a boy named Balefire, and the maps of Snow White's secret dungeon.

Many people like to bullshit about Balefire claiming they knew him. "We go way back." "I saw him just last week!" "Hes just got married, didn't he?!" All killed instantly at Drizella's hand. She got the map of Snow White's dungeon when the Queen Snow White herself walked in. Hearing of the Evil Queen Regina's curse, she was desperate for anything that might save her and her unborn child. At first giving her the map of the actual dungeon, Goldilocks laughed and said "Regina is going to release a curse that will send us all to an eternity of hell." And stopped there. Snow White wanted more information as everyone knew that. Goldilocks reminded her everyone knew of that map too. She wanted the real map, where Rumplestiltskin was being held. Snow White debated (still not knowing this was his daughter) but eventually gave her the map. She told Snow White of a magical tree that could help her escape and gave her the name of someone else who can help, while trying her best not to shake with delight of the map. Drizella immediately went to planning on how to break into the dungeon, but Goldilocks told her they needed to wait. They needed information on Balefire. If they didnt get it in 1 week, then they would go.

The information about Balefire came to her exactly 3 days later. A pirate with half a hand came wandering in, wanting information about where Rumplestiltskin was. Knowing it was for revenge, she told him no. The pirate then said "I was told you would give up anything for information about Baelfire. I used to know one-" Goldilocks sneered and said "oh yeah. I'm sure hes your second cousins, 3rd uncle twice removed." Hesitating, the pirate continued, "well, the thing is...I dont know if it's the right one. This Baelfire lived 300 years ago your time." Goldilocks sat up straight. Usually able to collect and hide her emotions, now it was clear she was excited and eager to listen. Her father was never willing to talk to her about his son who, according to him, passed away centuries ago. The pirate smiled and gave her all the information about him that he had, including that the boy was still alive and where he probably was. Goldilocks jumped up and told him (truthfully) that Rumplestiltskin was being held in Snow Whites dungeon. Now Goldilocks had everything she needed. Mostly out of excitement, they worked fast to come up with a plan.

She stayed in the tavern for 2 more days as it was a safe house for her. Mostly using the skitz fight as loud background for Gem and Locks to secretly come up with a plan, there was a request for her to come back up to the bar. They gathered up all their stuff and found the half handed pirate, murder in his eyes. Angry that she had told him the wrong location of Rumplestiltskin. She told him she didnt lie, but the pirate was angry and now wanted a fight. Goldilocks, no longer needed the bar for information or a quiet place, obliged. Not wanting to kill him, she cut his hand off clean and ran. The pirate demanded his crew go after them. Drizella and Goldilocks fought them with ease.

They decided to enact their plan of breaking into the dungeon. They didnt have much time to plan, it was mostly a stealth mission, secretly dispatching of as many guards as possible then running into the dungeon and winging it from there. They got to her father, but they didnt expect more guards to come. Goldilocks told Drizella to run and hide before parting with a kiss. Drizella followed her instructions. Goldilocks screamed to her father that Baelfire was still alive and in a land without magoc. Her father was confused and begged the guards not to hurt his daughter as they threw her to the ground and shackled her. Goldilocks was then arrested on accounts of murder, kidnapping, and killing the royal baby. Most of this was news even to her. Apparently the nick she had caused to the princess's stomach was a deep gash that had killed the child but spared the princess. The story was then told that she kidnapped Drizella and ran away with her. Goldilocks felt horrible for killing the baby. She was sentenced to be burned at the stake in 3 days time. Rumplestiltskin panicked and told Drizella if she truly loved Goldilocks to go get the Evil Queen Regina. It took 2 days, but Regina did come to the cell. Rumplestiltskin begged Regina to activate the curse by tomorrow and that he would owe her a favor if she did. Regina reminded him that she'll remember this.

A day later, Goldilocks was tied to a stake in front of a crowd of angry citizens. She managed to find Drizella in the crowd and she smiled at Goldilocks in reassurance. Goldilocks didn't know whether to be relieved she was there, or afraid. But she still was glad that she was able to see her one last time.

The fire was lit. Some people in the crowd began cheering, for the royal baby was about to be avenged. Right as the flames reached her feet, Goldilocks saw a cloud of purple haze in the distance. She thought it was just the smoke from the fire until the cloud came closer and closer. Warning bells began to go off while people were shouting the queens curse was finally here. In the panic, Drizella ran to Goldilocks, her skirt catching on fire when she did, trying to free her. The flames had just reached Goldilocks torso, when the purple cloud had reached them.

Goldilocks awoke as Leslie Gold. No memory of the crimes that she had committed. No memory that she was almost burned. No memory of the tavern where killed so many. No memory of killing the royal guards or baby. And worst of all, no memory of Drizella, her partner in crime.

This was a lot and very poorly written and I apologize for that. I'm not very good at writing. This is the para I'm most proud of as with a lot of my paras I have to change the rules of the universe, but sometimes I actually get mad that Goldilocks isnt a real character in the ouat. I've managed to work her in perfectly with the story so very little is changed. I feel like she would have made a great character's but unfortunately Goldilocks and Drizella only exist in my head.

#paramay #para dump #maladaptivedaydreaming #maladaptive daydreaming #maladaptive daydreamer

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blookmallow · 5 years

Text

I FINALLY GOT SKYRIM MARRIED

i have a BEAUTIFUL WIFE

...who i went through a lot of shit for. this is. a lot of exposition, bear with me :’) im very invested in my character’s personal story here

so astrid had a very important special job for me and sent me to markarth to speak with the client directly

it turned out to be the apothecary’s assistant, who i was passingly familiar with already, so i imagine it was a bit of a surprise to both of us, but she got right to the point - a man broke her heart and ruined her life, used her to hurt the people close to her, abandoned her to go become a bandit, now she wants him dead

u can probably imagine where this is going,

this is the first time ive had a dark brotherhood job i was legitimately PSYCHED to carry out, you BET ill go fuck this guy up for you id do this for free

however, she also had... another request, one that wasn’t required, but something she really, really wanted

see she was very close with/practically another daughter to the shatter-shields in windhelm, the wealthy family who recently lost a daughter to the windhelm butcher

alain had manipulated her and used her to get to the shatter-shields, i dont remember if he stole from them or what happened there, but whatever it was, the shatter-shields blamed muiri for this and disowned her, throwing her out onto the streets with nothing

so she was used and had her heart broken by a man she loved, then was told it was Her Fault, and lost her home and her friends/the closest thing to family she had all at once, and was so hurt and desperate she turned to the dark brotherhood to get revenge on them all

she wanted me to kill nilsine too, the shatter-shields’ other daughter

SO we have this really complicated situation where, on the one hand, she wants alain dead for using her and ruining her life and hurting her friends, and like, he’s a bandit leader now, so he’s someone i probably would’ve easily killed off anyway, by “this is a video game not real life”/skyrim standards that’s a no brainer, i have no moral conflict with that and can’t wait to slash this guy’s head off

but on the other hand she’s so broken she wants a woman who used to be her best friend/practically her sister dead too. i dont know what nilsine’s role in this was specifically but these people were essentially her family, and they victim blamed her when she needed their support the most and threw her out with nothing and nowhere to go

and i had already done quests with the shatter-shields before this, so like, i know them too, and they’re sort of friends to me, i helped solve the mystery of their other daughter’s murder and now I’m being asked to kill the other. not to mention everyone’s going to think the butcher’s back/there’s a copycat killer/something and it’s gonna cause a panic again (even if the game doesn’t acknowledge that/directly show that happening, y’know)

killing someone’s daughter when they’re still in mourning over the first, when they’ve come to trust you, when you’re the one who helped them gain closure over that first death already, is just. a stone cold thing to do

especially looking at it from my character’s perspective, she’d be especially torn on this because she’s a mother herself, but her children are girls she rescued from the streets - lucia was thrown away by her family, sofie was a victim of tragedy and was let down by the people in authority who should have protected and helped her

so medea would relate to tova as a mother and a friend but also relate powerfully with muiri as a victim in this

ultimately i don’t think there’s any real justification to kill nilsine here, i dont think you can really morally defend that, but. i was so drawn to muiri and wanted so badly to give her a shot at a better life and help her heal from all this, and knew she would become a marriage option if i did it bc id seen her name on the marriage options list before, her story fits in so well with medea’s, and like, i dont imagine im gonna have a lot of options for wives who would Know about my connection to the dark brotherhood/the things ive done and be okay with it, so if i went with her, there wouldn’t be a “keeping this horrible secret from my wife” aspect to deal with even though the game probably doesn’t acknowledge it if you do (i mean im still. keeping it from my kids, but. y’know. when they’re older)

and “talk this out with her and help her see how badly her mind’s been warped by the pain she’s been through” isn’t an option given to you, so

in the end i went through with it. killing alain was easy, just like any other bandit camp raid, but to get at nilsine without being caught, i had to sneak into their house when the family was asleep

which i expected would involve a lot of careful sneaking and laborious lock picking

until i realized i could just walk right in

because the door was already unlocked for me. because they consider me a friend and allow me into their home

and that somehow made it so much worse

i killed nilsine with an arrow, nobody heard a thing, and i ran for it before anyone saw me in there or realized what had happened

muiri gave me a special ring as a “symbol of her affection” for doing this, which i think is about the biggest sign i coulda hoped for lmao

i held off on considering marriage for the time though and finally decided i had to go back to windhelm to see if there was anything i could do to make amends to the shatter-shields even though they shouldn’t know it was me/make sure i didnt get seen by a guard without realizing it or something (though it wouldn’t probably matter anyway, guards saw me leave the orphanage immediately after grelod’s death and shrugged that off, so,)

my name’s still clear in windhelm, but...

tova committed suicide after she discovered what happened

she couldn’t cope with losing another daughter

so now the father is the only one left, coping with. the death of his entire family occurring within like a couple months

i didnt see what happened here i came back later so i dont know if this is something you can possibly stop or if its possible to witness the moment they find nilsine or tova’s suicide or if this just Inevitably happens whenever you come back

i feel terrible about this but theres. not really any going back now,

so. i went back to muiri

i dont know if this is what everyone says or not but her response was just. “i mean, yeah, why wouldn’t I be” i love her lmao

i wouldnt choose to get married in riften if it was up to me but thats how it be in skyrim i guess

my babies are here!!!! what!!!!

and a. random guy i dont recognize lmao :’)

just wandered in to see what was going on i guess. or maybe we’re friends and i forgot who he is entirely which would be kind of sad :’ )

maybe it was my long lost father... slipped out before i ever had the chance to realize it

however i actually. ended up doing this scene twice because, fun fact, there’s a glitch where if you don’t manage to catch up to your spouse to talk about where to live before they leave the chapel they can just fucking Disappear sometimes, :’ ) i couldnt find her anywhere after the wedding and finally looked it up and apparently she just fell into the void so i had to reload and run it again. we’re double married now

planned better this time and dressed better but anyway that elf guy didn’t appear this time but some other guy did, who i ALSO cant quite identify, he looks. maybe. kind of like lucas valerian? who is actually a friend to me and was one of the first friends i made so it’d decently make sense for him to come to my wedding, but weird if he came and camilla didn’t, and im not even sure thats him anyway, so i dont know what happened here all around

muiri’s mentor lady came too though which was sweet

im spinning this kind of as... like, medea was so drawn to her and felt so strongly for her she couldn’t bring herself to disappoint her and this was an eye opener for them both as a kind of. “look what kind of people we’ve let ourselves become” and their marriage as a new beginning, love coming from a place of desperation and darkness, starting over and hoping that the divines will forgive what they’ve done

medea’s not leaving the brotherhood but i mmmmmight try to be a little more careful about who i kill

i had intended for her to come live with me in markarth, she’s in on my. assassin life so having kind of this Other Side to my life made sense but... she met my kids at the wedding i guess and she wanted to live with them... which is really cute,

it feels really weird having this huge fancy house all to myself (and uh. argis, i guess) in markarth and having my wife and kids (and lydia, and a fox) all squished into the honestly kinda run-down whiterun house though i think im gonna work on getting the solitude house for them bc its. safer there than in markarth i feel like and ive heard thats like the fanciest/biggest house

there she is..... my Wife

she also sells things now but i feel bad accepting it when she gives me “my share” of the profit like.... babe thats your money i have so much adventuring money and i didnt do shit to help earn that,

i buy things from her sometimes but i refuse to sell her stuff bc i dont want to take any more of her money :’ )

even tho it. doesnt really matter, its video games, i know, but

found lucia, the fox, and muiri all on the bed at once

lydia was just standing like this for a rly long time after muiri moved in i guess she was suspicious but chilled out eventually :’)

gettin along finally

i just realized if we move to solitude lydia’s gonna get left behind though :(

i mean ill still come visit her but. upsetting

my one issue is that muiri still keeps saying “thank you for solving my-....problem.” every time i come in speaking distance of her which is. weird given that its the same line she had before we were married, like, she apparently doesnt get any new things to say, and is Really repetitive (imagine living in a small space with your partner and they say the same sentence with the same intonation every time you step within like 2 feet of them. how long til that gets old, do you think, ) and also its just like??? girl let that go we gotta stop dwelling on this or the kids are gonna start questioning what apparently massively important problem mommy solved

idk why she was laying on the floor but anyway my kids have started calling her “mama” now too and im not crying or anything

#lucy plays skyrim #this actually happened. a while ago but i forgot this post in my drafts bc i didnt want to deal with proofreading it lmao #Nobody Cares Except Me but my skyrim character's life is important business ok #i think im gonna marry sadri on my khajiit file eventually. he was like. my second choice/'If I Had To Pick A Dude'#and that way my dad will stop asking if my character's married anyone yet lmao i can be like o yea i married sadri #little does he know my main file is a woman with a wife and my male character's gonna have a husband. technically im not lying #hoping he wont ask to see how my house is coming along or anything lmao

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legion1993 · 5 years

Text

I Did This To Protect You!

A/n: this is for @thisismysecrethappyplace for her challenge!

pairing: Oliver Queen x Female!reader

reader's personal sitch: reader abused as a child

male main is: best friend & wanting more

sitch between mains: secret admirer

dialogue (quote): “we need to talk about what happened last night.”

summery: its a surprise...

Masterlist

Oliver Queen the billionaire playboy but also your rock and stability. as a child you were abused by your father, which led you to how you became closer than ever with Oliver.

the lifestyle you lead is one which holds great hardship... infact you were the one person that Oliver trusted after he came back from the island, but when the vigilante appeared, it was when you started getting those notes.

yes every night since you would go onto your balcony to find a hand written note. each night said something different there had to be some sort of mystery behind it.

alot of times you assumed it was a prank. but tonight you got one that said something very unexpected:

“Meet me on the roof of the Queen Consolidated building i would like to speak with you, face to face. I hope you come, tomorrow night @ 9pm when everyone else has gone home... i hope you can see me for who i am, not for who i’ve been. xoxo Arrow”

that note, your only thoughts at that moment lay with the meeting of the following day. that of course is when the sound of someone opening your door brought you out of your own thoughts.

Oliver: “Y/N you here?”

you hadnt realized what time it was, you were still in your sports bra & shorts breathing after your workout.

Y/N: “in here Ollie!”

Oliver: “is it safe?”

Y/N: “why? are you afraid of seeing me in my workout clothes?”

oliver at that moment entered your room, lingering close to the doorway watching you read what he presumed to be the latest letter.

Oliver: “whats that?”

you smile tucking the letter in a small box, tucking that box back under your bed. turning your attention then to Oliver.

Y/N: “those are just letters from a secret admirer. now, what can i do for my boss/best friend?”

Oliver watched as you stood up & smiled stepping in closer...

Oliver: “well you have been doing such a fantastic job at Queen’s Consolidated, that i figured i’d come by hang out with you, without the hassle of the office staff...”

Y/N: “ollie thats so sweet. what did you have in mind?”

Oliver could only smile as he set down his backpack that you just noticed he had with him.

Oliver: “pjama chillax night...”

you smiled & over all loved that idea.

Y/N: “that sounds wonderful Ollie. let me guess you had a hard time when you got home?”

Oliver nodded sitting beside you on the bed after he shed his sweater & shoes.

Oliver: “fought & argued with everyone... so i packed a bag & came here...”

Oliver loved his famile, well at least he had that luxery... but tonight you figured you would finally tell Oliver about the dark cloud of your past.

Y/N: “how bout we get settled into out pj’s, build us a fort and wait for dinner to arrive.”

Oliver: “that sounds lovely & are we using that air mattress again?”

you pointed to the hall closet, Oliver being the caring gentleman got up, went over & opened the closet pulling out the mattress & its air pump.

Oliver: “get into your pj’s... we’ll reconveine in the living room.”

you smile greatly as there is a hold up in the small recesses of your mind. ever since you started working as Oliver’s secretary, you had been filled with wonder...

the man who stood before you was not the same man who left on that boat with his father... but Oliver was still Oliver, just now the face of Queen’s consolidated you were still his best friend.

Y/N: “So Ollie i’ve been thinking and i don’t want to pressure you into this... but when your ready, if you ever need/want someone to talk to about what happened on the island, i’m here for you... you know that right.?.”

however you could not hear anything but silence coming from the next room. you finished putting on your pj’s grabbing some blankets, you stand on your bed near the edge & begin un-hooking your canopy from the ceiling.

you had a slight misjudgement of the distance you needed to reach the next hook and instead of being able to stabelize yourself, you started to loose your balance something that rarely happened.

before you could even let out a squeal of terror, Oliver slid across the floor just in time to catch you in his arms just as the canopy fell..

Oliver: “you okay?”

Y/N: “i am thanks to your sharp reflexes...”

Oliver: “at least the canopy came down with you!”

Y/N: “at least i’m not living with my horrible ass of a father anymore...”

Oliver: “you father was just an over protective ass...”

instantly your mind went back to the very same day you got your 11th grade mid term report card... when you hit 11th grade you hadnt reached 18 yet... the perks of being a summer babe.. anyway your father saw you still as his innocent exploitable child.

you hadnt told anyone of the true horrors you had experienced with your father, the real reason why you started basically living more with Oliver and his family instead of your own...

the only thing that you had done right was cutting your entire family out of your life. you were now completely ready to tell Oliver about the day that made you decide fully to cut your entire family out of your life.

Oliver: “Y/N, you okay?”

you snapped out of the memory before it went any further...

Y/n: “sorry bout that i fell deep into a distant memory...”

Oliver: “is this something you want to talk about? Y/N you know you can tell me anything?”

you had to breathe a moment, to stiffle whatever sobs were trying to break through... but as you spoke the cracking in your voice was clear to be heard.

Y/N: “do you remember when i got my 11th grade mid term report card... that day i got home and my father sprang a father/daughter camping trip on me.. he said it was in celebration of my excellent grades and stuff... however i never thought that my own father would have had any bad intentions at all...”

Oliver now very curious as to why your body now trembled, why this memory was powerful enough to make you loose your balance... but the more your body trembled, the more your sobs grew... Oliver’s gentle embrace was the only thing keeping you from fully coming apart...

Oliver: “i figured there was more to this story of what happened when i picked u up on the side of the road.”

Y/n: “the day we left, i got in the car and there was this darkness surrounding him... something that made me want to jump out of the car as quickly as i got into it and run far far away... as he drove his free hand wandered down my thigh... this wasnt the first time he had done that, but it also didnt stop him... it was like he didnt have a morale compass of right and wrong... my father abused his parental authority... he crossed a dangerous line... he wanted to check if i was still a virgin...”

Oliver upon hearing this brought you closer to him, now fully sitting you in his lap, he allowed you to finish the story before he would speak again....

Y/N: “obviously i was still 17 at the time... when he forced me to strip off my clothing and he stuck his finger inside me... when he realized i was still tight, that there was still hope, he pulled out a syringe of his semen... when i saw it, i wrapped myself in a blanket and kicked him away from me, running out of the tent... thats when i called you in tears...”

Oliver pulled your tear struck face to look at him, for he now was completely sure of his feelings for you being real...

Oliver: “i’m gonna kill him for this... no one especially not you should ever have to live through something like that...”

Oliver brought his lips to your forehead, pressing them to it gently... Oliver continued to embrace your quivering form as both of you got up, carrying the canopy walking into the living room.

you sat immediately on the couch watching Oliver set up the canopy while you stood there dazed... thats when the door bell rang...

Y/N: “i’ll get it, its probably our food...”

Making your way to the door, you tripped on the front carpet... a few seconds later you heard a loud voice.

Voice 1: “BREAK IT DOWN!!!”

the worst was rising, before you could react your door was broken in... this turned into a bad evening. you Screamed scrambling to get up off the floor... but before Oliver could get you off the ground, one of the 3 goons grabbed you dragging you away.

tears streaming down your face, your screams making oliver fight alot harder against the remaining 2 goons to get you back... the 2 remaining goons threw oliver into the back end of your couch and ran away...

Oliver pulled his phone off the couch and called felicity.

Oliver: “Felicity, Y/N has been taken. we need to find her as well as repair her apartment door on the company card. have Dig bring my gear to the office... i’m on my way...”

Oliver left his helmet and his shoes he was so angry that he stormed out of the apartment, got on his bike and drove to the Queen’s Consolidated Parking Garage. Oliver got off his bike and walked over to Dig.

Diggle: “Can you please tell me why you’re in your Pjama’s??”

Oliver: “Y/N & i were having a slumber party... those goons that took her, i think i know who has her... i have to save her Dig, i have to save her so i can finally tell her...”

Oliver changed while Diggle pondered the decision that Oliver was about to make.

Diggle: “Oliver if you tell her, you know things will change...”

Oliver turned to face John now fully suited up, but Oliver also turned his eye to the company name..

Oliver: “i’ve been thinking about telling her anyway... John i’m in love with her...”

John: “how can you be so sure that she feels the same about you?”

Oliver: “cause “arrow” left her a note on her balcony before showing up at her apartment, i was gonna tell her later anyway Dig i need you to clear out the rooftops of Y/N’s Fathers company... i’ll go in, save the girl & have a chat with her father... have felicity send blueprints with heat signatures & tell her to track Y/N’s watch. she doesn’t have her phone but she was wearing her watch...”

John watched his friend put up his hood, get on his bike & drive away... John relayed Olivers instructions to Felicity then drove to your father’s company... John just beat Oliver but did as he was told...

Oliver (over coms): “dig, i know your thoughts on my telling Y/N but i have to do this... i know she’s the one i want to spend the rest of my life with...”

Dig (over coms): “are you serious right now? Oliver rescue her first, then you can marry her...”

Dig got rid of all the roof guys, making sure that oliver didn’t get struck down as he climbed into the rooftop doorway.

Oliver (over coms): “i’m in be ready for extraction.”

Oliver now on High alert wandered through your fathers building... Oliver’s main priority at that moment was getting you out of there alive, he was also hoping you were alive, it was gonna make things alot easier if you were still alive so he could finally tell you that he was the Arrow and that he was in love with you.

at that moment of his thoughts being interrupted he ducked into some nearby shadows, he didn’t need to be caught so early into the rescue mission.

Oliver (over coms): “felicity, how far am i from Y/N’s ping?”

Felicity (over coms): “about 3 floors above her but Oliver your only option for getting into that room undetected would be to zipline across into the room. trust me, the entire building between you & YN is filled to the brim with security goons. Please be careful & bring her home before you do something stupid...”

Oliver heard what Felicity said but could only concentrate on the guards first then everything else second.

Oliver (over coms): “felicity find me the nearest window...”

felicity searches through the blueprints & leads oliver to the correct window.

Oliver (over coms): “turn off the power in the entire building... including the emergency power... i’m gonna zipline now!”

Oliver set up his zipline to the building cross the street & launched himself into the zipline! immediately he crossed the zipline turning round back towards 3 floors below!

as far as Oliver was concerned, bowling for goons was the funest part of this rescue mission! the power in the entire building was cut... the emergency power was cut as well, the lower window shattered and goons fell unconcious with the kick that Oliver ziplining forcefully brought.

it was several guards later when Oliver released the zipline... then he connected to felicity over coms to chat about the next move...

Oliver (over coms): “Felicity how many guys are left?”

Felicity (over coms): “2 but oliver they are juggernauts... they are heavily armored & like really big guys... then in the room with YN are another 7 guys maybe more... but to get in there go through the vent system... again please be careful and bring her home!”

coms cut, Oliver peaked around the corner shooting 3 knock out arrows that land on the walls surrounding the juggernauts.

those juggernauts didn’t seem affected so Oliver sent out 2 shock arrows, those goons shook and fell unconcious. this was long enough that oliver pulled down the gate to the vents and went inside.

crawling through he could still only hope that you were alive, unharmed not scared or worse.

Oliver knew he had to do something, he had to save you, he had to tell you the truth!

you now had been sitting tied up on the floor for a few hours... you felt as though you had nothing to hope for, except the possibility that someone would come and save you, one person who believed you were worth saving...

at that moment of self-calming, your father’s goons stepped aside to clear a path for your father... you hadn’t seen your father in years, on that note neither had Oliver who was now watching from the vent, waited like you to see what would happen next...

Your father: “good your awake, i was afraid you were gonna miss all the fun!”

Y/N: “stay away from me, i have very powerful friends!”

your father: “now now child, you will have to be more polite than that for this next part... goons 2 at a time... teach my child some manners.”

that was when Oliver reached for some lowkey arrows... ones he knew wouldnt affect you but would affect anyone surrounding you... but waited a bit to see what was gonna happen before he would shoot them...

2 goons approached you, but oliver noticed you didn’t look very scared, he almost wondered if you knew he was there... but he watched as those goons took off their coats an one came behind you holding you still while the other repeatedly hit you in the stomach...

Oliver waited a bit more before he would step in not to watch you get hurt but for the satisfaction that his gear was catching this on video footage that would be going straight to the scpd...

Oliver removed the grate listening to the sounds of the goons coming in contact with your stomach... the screams coming from you... it made Oliver cringe and thats when he shot the zipline coming out of the grate and bowling over a bunch of guys landing behind the one that was punching you...

Oliver grabbed his hand before he could punch you again...

Oliver: “its not nice to hit a lady...”

Oliver took that guy and whacked him with his bow.. then used an arrow to free you from your binds & helped you up off the ground...

Oliver: “are you alright?”

Y/N: “yes i am thank you for saving me...”

Oliver: “oh we aren’t out of the clear yet...”

as Oliver said that you both noticed you were being surrounded again... this time there seemed to be alot more guys...

Oliver: “can you fight?”

YN: “i can whats the plan?”

Oliver: “survive till my team sends extraction...”

you both were instantly attacked... it was hard but you managed, with a few small bumps in the road...

YN: “i guess at some point i’ll have to thank you for this...”

you say as you swing around and knock out another goon... but your father now charged at you...

your father: “child you defy me time and time again... when you dont realize that i only stayed with your mother and kept her alive so she could have you and the more you grew, the more i realized that i loved you as more than a daughter... as a potential vessal for more of my spawn...”

you were now being pinned to the ground, Oliver knocked out his guy just in time to see this sight... he pulled out an arrow and set it up within his bow...

Arrow: “step away from her... now...”

your father slowly got off of you keeping his hands in the air, he turned to face the Arrow, your rescuer, and un-be-known to you your best friend & secret admirer...

Arrow: “i want you to look into my eyes mr Y/L/N, look into my eyes and remember them as the eyes of the man who’s putting you away for a long long time...”

your father looked into the eyes of the arrow, and before long looked very afraid...

Your father: “no no its not possible... how can this be... ii’ll have your...”

before he could finish that sentance, the arrow shot a tranq dart at your father who then fell unconcious... you then hear the arrow whoever he was talking to someone before he went silent and approached you to help you up...

upon helping you up he gives you what you percieve to be a smile of sorts before shooting a zipline arrow out the window and attaching it to a different building...

Arrow: “do you trust me?”

You smile, staring at him for a few moments before accepting his hand which you just happened to notice was extended to you...

Y/N: “you stole that line from Aladdin didnt you?”

Arrow: “do you trust me?”

YN: “yes!”

Arrow: “latch your arms tight around my neck and hold on... i promise i will never let you fall...”

YN: “i trust you...”

Arrow (Oliver) holds your waist with one firm arm and the zipline with the other hand as he took a running start glass everywhere in your shoulder length layered dark brown hair. as soon as you guys were ziplining the cool breeze brought a familiar scent to your attention...

you couldnt place it at the time... but a few moments later you guys landed on a roof top... the arrow landed and set you back on your feet...

YN: “can i ask you a few questions?”

Arrow: “of course you may...”

YN: “are you for sure the one whose been leaving me those notes on my balcony?”

Arrow: “yes thats me...”

You breathed lightly, standing here with the arrow you realized you could ask him a few heavily weighing questions...

YN; “why did my father quiver with fear like he had seen a ghost when you told him to look in your eyes?”

Arrow: “cause ive done many things that im not proud of and well i have my fair share of demons so he saw a few of the demons i carry with me daily...”

you knew that he was still hiding something but you werent going to push him to answer the questions you knew he wouldn’t...

YN: “is there anything you want to try right now?”

Arrow moves closer to you, but you werent scared, you were a little un-nerved, but something inside you kept you from stiffening up like a board...

Arrow: “can i kiss you?”

you slowly nod, Arrow leans in and kisses you softly... making your heart race, beating faster and faster... standing on that rooftop, you felt a certain familiarity while kissing the Arrow, almost like you had once up a time kissed these same lips once before.

Arrow broke the kiss and this time it was bliss, you felt as though the world couldnt stop you...

Arrow: “im gonna take you to the SCPD from there ill hand over the serveillance footage of your father, his goons and what they did to you... then ill check in with you later...”

YN: “thank you again for rescuing me... i don’t know what i would have done if you hadnt shown up when you did...”

Arrow: “thank the heavens we never have to find out... now hold on tight... we are ziplining all the way to the SCPD...”

YN: “you realize that we are like several blocks away from there right...”

Arrow: “you realize that im an excellent shot... i can get us to the SCPD... how else do you think i got here...”

you felt Arrow once more press his lips to yours before taking another zipline arrow and shooting it... you held on tight again as once more you were whisked into a ziplining frenzy.. straight down, both you and the Arrow landing on the outside of the SCPD where Captain Lance happened to be exiting.

Captain Lance: “you really know how to make an entrance... and of course you have a girl... what happened?”

Arrow: “this is YN, her father is the owner of YLN industries...”

Arrow then hands captain lance the flash drive with the footage and audio of the evening’s events...

Captain Lance: “whats on this drive?”

Arrow: “everything explaining the dirty deeds of her father, what his real intentions were towards YN and i would appreciate it if you could also contact oliver queen, he is a close personal friend of mine and i’m sure the CEO of Queen’s Consolidated would want to bring home his very hard working secretary... now Captain i leave her in your capable hands...”

like that he was gone... you shivered but followed Captain Lance inside the SCPD, where he gave you a blanket, and then picked up the phone and dialed Oliver’s number...

Captain Lance: “Hey Oliver, its Captain Lance. i have your secretary here, a mutual friend of ours brought her here... i think it would be best if you came to get her... she seems a little shaken up...”

Oliver (over the phone): “ill be right there... keep her calm till i get there...”

Captain Lance hung up the phone and went over to the coffee maker and poured a small cup, Lance then brings it over to you...

Lance: “i promise you that our mutual friend has probably given me something valuable, something that can help me to expose whatever dirty evil thing your father has been doing... also Oliver will be here as soon as he can...”

you sat there holding the cup of coffee in between your palms... it wasnt long after that till your ears caught wind of a familiar panicked voice calling your name...

Oliver: “YN...”

your body immediately turned towards the voice... you got up from the chair and ran straight into his arms... the familiarity, the way it made you feel was more of a comfort than any cup of coffee...

Oliver: “are you okay?”

YN: “i am now...”

Oliver: “do we need to sign anything captain before i can take her home?”

Captain Lance: “nope if we have any questions ill call personally... you guys are free to go...”

Oliver and You walk out of the police station... Oliver hands you a helmet and gets on his bike...

Oliver: “tomorrow people are gonna be at your apartment to repair the damage... dont worry the company is paying for it... but tonight we are gonna continue our slumber party at the nicest hotel near the office... so tomorrow we can go into work and pretend like nothing bad went wrong...”

YN: “that sounds amazing! i assume you already moved over a bag of stuff for us?”

Oliver nods as you put on the helmet and get on the bike behind Oliver holding on tight... you knew you would have to tell him sometime about what happened to you, but that time wasnt right then...

but again that same sense of familiarity swept over you, it was the same feeling you got when you had been ziplining with the Arrow but a few short minutes before...

you dismissed those thoughts... your brain was over worked, and quite frankly not thinking straight... within a few moments of leaving the SCPD you and Oliver had made it to the hotel district near Queens Consolidated...

Oliver pulled into the premium parkade and that made you wonder if this was one of those special cases where you were gonna learn new secrets about him that you didnt really know before...

Oliver got off first and then helped you take off your helmet, then extending his hand to you helping you off the bike... you shivered at the cold ground beneath your feet... it was very clear to you that your body wasnt taking kindly to the cold weather...

Oliver: “your trembling... would you like me to carry you?”

YN: “i wouldnt object...”

it was then that your mind once more began to piece together the various events... the way Olivers arms and grip felt very similar to that of the Arrow.. it was clear that your mind was trying to tell you something... but you didnt know what...

Oliver: “just hold on to my neck and we will be out of public view very soon...”

security: “welcome back MR. Queen, is there anything you need?”

Olliver: “yes can you have room service send up a bottle of your finest champagne, and a small platter of your finest danties... and a medical muscle rub... please and thank you!”

Security: “of course sir... that will be brought up immediately!”

Oliver continues to walk while holding you, the elevator door staying open as Oliver carries you inside... kissing your forehead... as the elevator took you guys to the penthouse suite... of course this was typical Oliver...

Oliver set you down on the nearest soft surface, he knelt down in front of you and smiled...

Oliver: “what would you like to do first?”

YN: “i want to figure out how my father found me after all this time... why now? i mean it... ow...”

you winced as you tried to stretch out.... your stomach still tender where the goons struck you...

Oliver: “dont worry once the medical muscle rub gets here along with the champagne and danities you will be feeling alot better trust me... ill take care of you...”

the words TRUST ME... those words, the way Oliver said them... it was very similar to how the Arrow had said that earlier... nah it couldnt be, could it...

Oliver: “why dont you go and put on that robe but keep your shorts and sleeping bra on but make sure that there is nothing covering those bruises... ill rub it down when it arrives....”

you took one of those robes and went into the bathroom, while in there you took the time to try and sort through the mess your brain was putting together... or at least attempting to...

You didnt notice any other sore spots, or at least nothing that really stood out at that moment. you gave yourself a once over and then put on the robe, which again painful... but thankfully it was nice and soft, it felt good against your body...

you exited the bathroom to see oliver bringing in a tray full of what he had asked for from room service...

Oliver: “you feel a bit better..”

YN: “maybe a bit but not a whole ton... Ollie, i was wondering are you okay?”

Oliver: “you mean when i got tossed against the back of your couch... lets say ive had worse than that... now come on lay on your back on the bed, and let me tend to your wounds as you once tended to mine!”

you did exactly what Oliver said knowing he was right, he had every right to tend to you just like you tended to him when he first came back from the island... Oliver’s touch was soft, gentle, delicate. but his hands were rough, like he hadnt moisturized in days...

Oliver: “i promise that you will be just fine once the rub starts working now hold still, ill gently start rubbing now...”

you felt Oliver pour the rub on your abdomen, it was a cooling feeling, one unlike anything you had ever felt before... something about having Oliver rub this gel on your wound, made your body feel strange, in ways it has never felt before...

you winced slightly as Oliver started to press slightly harder on your wound...

YN: “Ollie, i have noticed that since we started working together we have become much closer, and i want to thank you for helping me get back on my feet after what my father did... i hate how he has been planning this, i hope the footage the Arrow gave the cops is enough to put him away...”

you winced once more, you made it priority this time to grab Oliver’s arm. his muscle tensing beneath your touch. Oliver’s muscle tensed the same way that the Arrow’s did...

it was then that you looked at Oliver who wasn’t startled by the sudden touch of your hand, Oliver’s eyes piercing your very soul, all the trouble, the days events, everything that had happened seemed to disappear...

YN: “Ollie..”

Oliver had moved much closer it seemed for you could feel his breath against your own skin. Oliver was no longer trying to fight anything, instead he gave into the urge and did something he had been meaning to do for years...

Oliver: “YN!”

that was the last of the talking that happened for the soothing feeling of the muscle rub and now making out with Oliver, we are talking like Oliver was shirtless and gently holding you against him, to you this was bliss, but something about kissing Oliver was so much like kissing OMG... if your brain was right then you were gonna have a serious talk with him when you both wake up later...

the making out took away all your fears, but left you with looming questions, and feelings being brought out of the shadows... you had to do what you wanted to do from the moment Oliver said your name at the SCPD, you had to confront him about what happened...

there was daylight shining through the window of your hotel room when you next took notice of time, you were still aware of your injuries so carefully you stretched and then winced slightly as your abdomen was still tender.

thats when footsteps from the other room brought you to attention...

Oliver: “good morning beautiful!”

YN: “good morning handsome! come here for a moment, i would like to ask you a questions!”

Oliver came over to sit with you on the bed, staring at you with anticipation of what kinds of questions you may be wanting to ask him.

YN: “we need to talk about what happened last night.”

Oliver: “ask me anything im an open book..”

YN: “ever since you picked me up at the police station my mind has been putting me through hell, my mind has also been wondering i guess... Are You The Arrow?"

Oliver went over to the wall by the closet and pushed in one of the panels revealing his greatest secret before sitting back on the bed. the hood, the mask, everything sitting right there, everything that he wore but several hours ago.

Oliver: “i gather by your silence that your trying to process this... but yes, as the Arrow i had written you all those letters, i felt like if i did that as myself you might not have taken me seriously... but YN everything i did in rescuing you, comforting you on your bad days, everything in between and then last night when i kiss you as me and not as the arrow, i felt what i have already confirmed. how long have you been in love with me?”

YN: “not long, the feelings started to manifest themselves when i started to work as your secretary. i know it sounds very unprofessional but its true. i fell in love, i fell hard, but Ollie i must know why did you save me as the Arrow and not yourself?”

Oliver: “cause if i hadnt come as the arrow, both of us might have been dead or worse, your father could have gotten away with his evil maniacal plan. and i wasnt gonna let that bastard do that to the woman i love, I Love You YN!”

the bliss flowed through you instantly but you wanted to be dramatic..

YN: “say it again...”

Oliver confused by this said what he said again assuming he knew what you were refering too...

Oliver: “i wasnt gonna let the Bastard do that to you...”

YN: “no no the part where you told me you loved me!”

Oliver now understood what you meant, so before repeating that line, he decided that he couldnt wait any more, he went over to his suit and pulled something small out of the pocket...

Oliver: “I Love You YN, so much and i never want to be anything without you. will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Oliver opened his closed fist to reveal a 24k silver band with an emerald in the center. your eyes went wide with wonder, but you held your left hand out feeling the metal touch your skin you nod your head.

YN: “yes!”

that was that it was now official, your best friend set to become your husband which was something that was gonna take some getting used to... but hey whatever at least the rest of that very day was mostly spent rolling round in the sheets... you lost your virginity that day and gained a brighter future as well.

#oliver queen x reader #oliver queen is the arrow #big reveal #arrowverse #arrow

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mischi3f-manag3d · 6 years

Text

Lost and Found - Part 1

Lmao I lied, I’m posting it tonight cause I’m too excited.

Arthur x Reader x Javier somewhat, but mainly Javier x Reader

Warnings; END GAME SPOILERS, some angst, some fluff, eventual smut (but not in this part)

You rode up beside Sadie as Arthur helped Abigail up onto Sadie's horse.

"Now I don't want no tears. Sadie, take Abigail up to Jack. I gotta go have a chat with Dutch." He said, sadness in his voice.

"You're a good man, Arthur." Sadie responded as she gave him a small smile. They rode off down the path, leaving just you and Arthur.

Your chest tightened realizing the severity of the situation. "Please Arthur."

"Don't. Please don't make this harder than it already is." He placed a hand on your thigh.

A sob escaped your mouth as you jumped down off your horse and engulfed him in a hug. His hands wrapped behind your back and held you close. This felt unreal. This had to be some sick nightmare.

Looking into his eyes, all you saw was sadness and betrayal. You knew he was hurt. After all these years, Dutch had finally betrayed him and the rest of the gang.

You kissed him lightly and gently caressed his cheek. He leaned into your touch knowing this would be the last time you see each other.

"I'll always love you, Arthur Morgan. Don't you forget that." A tear slipped down your cheek. It wouldn't get easier.

"Damn it all. I wanted a life for us away from this hell, y'know? I wanted to give you so much because you deserve it. But here I am, dying. I love you, and I always will. Find someone who takes care of you, please. I can't have you with someone who don't treat you right. Now.. I gotta go, I'm sorry." He said as he gave you one final kiss.

He helped you back up onto your horse and held a gaze with you. He loved you more than anything else in this world. He had wanted so badly to get away from it all and be with you. To start a family. But that all came crumbling down the minut he got his diagnosis. He gave your hand a squeeze and brought it to his lips before walking off to his own horse. He gave you a small smile before turning around towards the camp.

As you rode away you couldn't help the overwhelming sadness that tore away at you. You promised him, no tears, but you were so hurt. It was unbearable. Tears streamed down your face as you rode up to meet with Sadie and Abigail. You knew that that was the last time you'd see Arthur and it killed you inside. This was the ending to the best thing that ever happened to you. Yet, you didn't realize what the future had in store for you.

~7 years later~

Alone. That's all you've been for the past 7 years. Here and there you'd tag along with some people, but eventually you'd stray away on your own. Everyone in the gang had went their separate ways, hiding from the law.

7 years since Arthur's passing, and yet you still thought about him from time to time. After 2 years you had let yourself move on. You knew it's what Arthur would've wanted. Your heart ached the first few times you had spent the night with someone, but they helped you to forget your hell of a life. It was an escape.

You made your way through the small town of Rhodes, not expecting much. Your supplies were running low and you needed a place to rest. The town seemed less lively than when you were here last, yet it was better than nothing. Making your way inside the general store you were met with a familiar face.

"Pearson?" You asked, excitement lingering in your voice. He was instantly recognizable and you couldn't help the joy that filled you upon seeing one of your old gang members.

"Y/n? Is that really you? Wow is it good to see you." He chuckled.

"So this is what you've made for yourself? This is good, real good." You smiled making your way to the counter to look at the supplies.

"Its nice not running from the law for a change." He said, returning a smile.

This was exactly what you needed right now. Knowing that someone from the gang was alive and doing well for themselves lifted your spirits.

"Has- has anyone else passed through?" You questioned as you finished buying your supplies.

"John, Abigail and Jack pass through from time to time. They live over by Blackwater now, doin real well for themselves. Heard Tilly's married and expecting a child and Mary-beths got herself a writing career. Actually... you just missed Javier.. he just passed through about an hour ago.. probably hasn't gotten far. Said he was headin over to Saint Denis. His guitars pretty spent so he'd like to get himself a new one." Pearson finished as he handed your stuff to you.

You couldn't help the smile that plastered your face. Knowing that so many of the gang had made it. Made a life for themselves, and survived. And Javier... you had to go see him.

"Thank you Pearson. It was so good to see you, and I will make sure I come to visit you again." You smiled as you hugged him over the counter.

"Was nice seeing you too Y/n." He chuckled, returning the hug.

You made your way out of the shop and mounted your horse. Hopefully you'd be able to catch up to him, you thought. Javier was your best friend back when the gang was together. Arthur had found it hard to not get jealous at times from how often you two were together. He understood over time that you and Javier were just friends, but he couldn't help the heat that would course through him every so often.

Excitement filled you and you anticipated telling Javier everything that had happened to to this point. You couldn't wait to hear what he'd been up to and what life had brought him.

Eventually you made your way into Saint Denis. It was much different than you remember, considering they now have a music store that definitely wasn't there seven years ago. The store wasn't hard to find and you could make out Boaz from a mile away. You smiled, happy that his horse was still very much alive and healthy.

You hitched your horse and slowly made your way inside. Music filled your ears as you entered the shop. It was huge and very lively. People wandered through the shop, glancing at the various instruments on the walls. It was hard to make your way around the crowd of people, but eventually you saw the slender man, his back to you as he stared up at a beautiful guitar. It looked just like his old one, only cleaner and a little more detailed.

You were surprised to feel your heart race as you walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder lightly.

"Hey, do you know where I can find my friend? He's tall and Mexican.."

He turned around, ready to tell the person to quit bothering him before he realized it was you.

"Dios mio.. y/n? You're alive.." he didnt give you a chance to respond before he engulfed you in a hug, nuzzling his face in your neck.

"Te extrañé" he whispered, continue to hold you in his embrace.

You hugged him back, overwhelmed with comfort and happiness.

"I've missed you to, Javi. I missed having someone to talk to." You laughed as you pulled away slightly to see his face.

He smiled at you, almost lovingly, "We have a lot of catching up to do, hermosa. But, first, I need to get myself a new guitar. My love has taken quite a beating over the years and she's not sounding the same."

You laughed at his way of speaking about his guitar. But you knew that he cared about that guitar more than anything.

He told the clerk about the guitar he had been eyeing up, wondering the cost of beautiful instrument.

"$1200, but the lowest I'll go is $1000." He spoke, firm on his price.

Javier scoffed, digging through his pockets for his cash. Realizing he only had about 300 on him, he sighed before telling the clerk it would have to wait for another time. He made his way towards the entrance, looking back at you, his look telling you to follow.

"I have to go to the bathroom, I'll meet you out there in just a minute." You smiled, giving his hand a squeeze. He nodded and returned your smile before making his way outside.

Making sure he was out of sight, you made your way to the clerk.

"I'd like that guitar that my friend was looking at. I'll give you 500 and this." You offered, taking a gold necklace out of your satchel. It was a necklace you had received a very long time ago from Dutch for your 18th birthday. You knew it was worth a lot, and it did have some emotional value to you, but after everything that had happened, you knew it was time for it to go.

The clerk thought for a minute before agreeing, handing you the guitar as he took the money and the necklace.

"Thank you very much sir."

You made your way outside, looking over to where Javier was. He was sitting on his horse, looking down at his hands.

"Hey, I thought you might like something." You gave him a wide smile as you handed the guitar to him.

"Y/n... you didnt have to." He said, almost at a lack of words to say.

"I wanted to. It's okay. Now let's get out of here, I'd like to hear some music." Smiling as you made your way to your horse.

It felt so unreal to be with Javier again. He was the comfort you needed in your life. You couldn't help the butterflies that took flight in your stomach as you glanced over to him. Confusion quickly took its place. You couldn't possibly have feelings for him, could you? You shook your head trying to rid yourself of the thoughts as you continued to ride next to him.

"I know it might bring up bad memories, but, I know a place we can stay for a while.."

You gave him a look, urging him to continue.

"Shady Belle... look, I know it's not perfect. But it's a spacious area, a roof over our heads, and no one has been around that area for a long time. Lemoyne Raiders have basically gone extinct and there aren't many gangs sticking around here." He said, hoping to convince you of the location.

You sighed knowing he was right. It would be nice to have a place of your own for a while, rather than wandering all the time. Nodding, you pushed on towards the abandoned house.

It was just like how you remembered it. Run down, humid, and wet. But, it was better than nothing. You hitched your horse alongside his and followed him into the house.

After you had cleared the rooms for any stragglers, you started setting up your things. Javier had insisted you take the master room upstairs that had previously been Dutchs headquarters. You had tried to go against him, but that was no use. He chose the bedroom next to it that was still fairly spacious. You set your bed roll up and laid down, trying to get comfy. Your eyes fluttered shut and before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

It felt so good to have somewhere fairly safe to stay, and to have Javier here with you. Little did you know that now that you were back with him, he would protect you with his life. He wanted the best for you, he wanted to be with you. He cursed himself for the thoughts and feelings he harbored, yet he couldn't help it. You had always been so close, even now it felt like nothing had changed. Seven years had gone by and you still smiled at him the same way you did before. He knew he had feelings for you back when you were with Arthur, but now that he knew you were alive, he wanted to embrace them. But, the thought of ruining what he has with you kept his thoughts at bay. Maybe one day you'd share his feelings he thought as he got comfortable on his bed roll, ready for bed, even though deep down, you already did. You just didn't know it yet.

~the next morning~

"Buenas dias cariña." He spoke lightly from outside your room as he knocked, hoping to awake you from your slumber.

"You should come get something to eat. I made food, and surprisingly I didn't burn it." He chuckled to himself.

You stretched before sitting up, trying to rub the sleep out of your eyes. The thought of him making food for you brought a smile to your face.

You walked over to the door and opened it, not expecting him to be right there. You ran straight into him, falling forward. He caught you and helped you stand up as you both started laughing.

"Clumsy this morning are we?" He chuckled.

You couldn't help the heat that rose to your cheeks. Never had you felt this way being so close to him. It felt right, but you wanted to brush those thoughts away.

You looked up to him before laughing lightly. His eyes spoke to you, but you couldn't tell what. There was a glimmer that you hadn't noticed before. Yes you had moved on, but could you bring yourself to be with the one that Arthur used to despise you being around? Yet, wouldn't he want you to be happy?

A million thoughts raced through your mind as you stood there in silence, a longing gaze being shared between you two. His hand lightly grazed over your check, tucking a stray piece of hair behind your cheek. It felt as if the butterflies could explode out of you at any minute.

"You look so beautiful." He whispered, moving closer to you.

Your breathing had picked up and your heart was racing faster than you ever thought it could. You were so close that you could feel his breath your face.

"Tell me to stop and I'll stop." He said before leaning to close the gap between you two. Part of you wanted to fight this, feeling it was wrong of you. But, this felt right too. Maybe this was what you needed all along.

His lips lightly grazed over yours, giving you time to back out. But, you didn't. You wanted this, you needed this. You leaned forward, finalizing your decision to do this. His lips were surprisingly soft, and they felt so good against yours. He let out a light moan, surprised at your actions.

He couldn't help how turned on he was. You were so beautiful to him and he had wanted this for long. Sparks flew between the two of you as the kiss continued, a fire burning inside you both.

He slowly pushed you backwards until you were up against the wall. You couldn't help the moan that escaped you as your back hit the wall. This only got him going more. A hand grazed over your hip as his other hand held your neck, kissing you deeper. His hand slowly moved to lift your shirt up.

You broke away, needing to catch your breathe and stop this before it got too far. You wanted this as much as he did, but you couldn't go there. Not yet at least.

"We can't," you spoke out of breath, "at least not yet."

As sexually frustrated and turned on as he was, he understood. He nodded, "Okay. I can wait."

"Now let's go eat, I'm starving!" You giggled, placing a light kiss on his lips and running to the stairs.

He laughed, chasing after you down to the kitchen. His hand captured yours and spun you around to face him.

He held your face as he kissed you, wanting to feel your lips against his again. He couldnt get enough of it. "You're sure you want this?" Looking to you for any sign of uncomfort.

"Yes, Javier. More than anything. But, I want to take it slow with you okay? We're not running from the law anymore. We can get jobs, make lives for ourselves. We don't have to rush things like we wouldve had to before." You spoke, running a hand through his hair as he held you close.

"That's okay with me. As long as I have you in my life, I'm happy." He smiled, raising your hand to his lips.

"Now, what did you make for us?" You laughed, taking a seat at the table.

"Your favorite.. pancakes!" He laughed with you as he served you both a plate.

Life had given you a fair share of beatings. Love and loss. But, for once, everything felt like it wasn't going to end badly. You knew Javier would give you all the love he could and you felt happy again. The hole that had been in your heart for so long was finally being filled.

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