#he totally doesnt deserve any cake.

[rottencoreofalpes]

That awkward moment when you fixate on the most horrible deplorable human being👍

[ohanny]

another friday, another cutie pie episode! so here are my thoughts while watching the second episode:

kuea is absolutely not me because i would never check my email first thing in the morning, notifs be damned

also even if i did get good news, i would not have the energy to throw a full "blackpink in your area" on top of my bed

kuea: oh yes, i am a bit... sore lian: ¬‿¬

ugh, why can't you just talk to this man who just happens to be a supportive, relatively mentally stable, functioning adult who dresses nice, cooks you food, pulls out your chair and YOU ACT LIKE THE RETURNING HIDE AND SEEK CHAMPION OF 2022

lian: if you need help, you can always tell me me: IF ONLY

nonetheless, i've had a boyfriend for a decade and i feel as single as the last crushed pringle at the bottom of the tube of doom when zee looks at nunew

kuea, a lying liar who lies: kon diao texted me lian: i love you me: KUEA DO YOU FEEL EVEN A LIL BAD???

i love the mission impossible theme tune

nong diao squared ready to cover up crimes

yi can smell bullshit a mile away but unfortunately for him, he's also a weak victorian bitch who gets flustered by a cheek touch from a twink he (alledgedly) fucked in his car just last week

JUST SHOW ME PERTH YOU COWARDS chapter 2

diao is a good friend with a good brain cell. we all need a diao.

kuea: i have a lot to think about. me: you also have a lo to TALK about goddammit

meanwhile poor lian is just trying to plan his barbie dream wedding, oh dear

yi is here to be the best man but also to watch the world burn.

kon diao loves lists. kon diao is me.

the world does not deserve diao. this show certainly doesnt. if he was running it, again, it would be 5 minutes long. well, maybe 15. he would keep all the spicy bits.

this beauty clinic is totally not the sponsor of this series.

the totally not sponsoring intensifies

"how do i look?" EXACTLY THE SAME AS YOU DID 30 SECONDS AGO YOU BABY SKINNED MOCHI OF PERFECTION

i will never not mishear this as "cosmic-exo entertainment" and i am not sorry

uh-oh, their barbie dream weddings are NOT the same

lsakjfkasljfafj a nuer x syn intermission! and nuer has a less questionable shirt on!

you two (ಥ﹏ಥ)

but props to syn never hiding his intentions and props to nuer respecting his choices even if they make him a sad boy. SOME PEOPLE could never

hia yi is eternal suffering personified even at a cake tasting and quickly becoming my favourite.

foei: oh is it too crowded? do we need more room? the gays: *offended*

salaldkjf i am catching vibes. pls tell me they will grey's anatomy this and diao and yi will end up getting married in the barbie dream wedding horror show while kuea and lian elope in korea

"you can make the final decision" says lian, not having any idea they like the polar opposite things.

he is a smooth bastard though. "ah yes, my favourite wedding singer will be too busy being my husband"

"oh no, how will our suits match if we cannot see them?" you dumbo, you have kon diao, the wedding planner extraordinaire. he has a list for that.

diao has been calling out bullshit since birth at this point.

yi: ah yes, they are so compatible. diao: dude, they can't agree on anything. yi: which is not my problem.

yi really be like "pfffft, let them talk it out between them" as if we have time to be here for the next ten years. he really couldn't give less fucks, lol

DIAO LEGIT IS LIKE IZZIE PLANNING MERDER'S WEDDING

how can he answer cosmic-exo in that suit. go change.

oh, the straights are at it again

lian: thank you yi: oh, you already picked a suit? lian: yes yi: wow, i am so helpful. you are blessed to have me tolerate you.

i love how nunew's voice gets so much deeper when he switches to english

IF ONLY YOU WERE THAT EXCITED ABOUT YOUR OWN WEDDING

kuea: what should i do? me screaming at my tv: TALK TO YOUR MAN

diao is seriously like baby yoda and syn doesn't need to become a monk. he just needs to hang out with diao more for some deep wisdom and then keep living in sin.

nuer is a sweet understanding angel and syn is a pouty baby and i could watch these two forever

"it's our wedding, not just mine." except you have NO IDEA you're not getting your wedding but an industrial scale keerati legacy production

yi: see? they're totally on the same page diao: ...

who is this random laxatives lady and why does she look like she's about to place a curse on kuea?

lian: you pick kuea: i am fine with everything narrator: he was not, in fact, fine with anything

diao turn of the tap for fucks sake, it is very obvious you are not paying your own bills in this economy

diao: my dog is so smart yi: your dog is literally an idiot

oh god here we have hia yi talk about marriage and kasdjflkafj they might kiss and i can't believe i am about to say this but at this point diao needs to worry about me cooking that cockblocking dog :D

WE HAVE A STAIRCASE WITH A HAND RAIL? IN A BL?!?!?!

lian: *trying* kuea: cosmic-exo is calling, byeee

look at his sad eyes, he KNOWS

"why am i talking to a doll?" BECAUSE IT IS MORE LIKELY TO HAVE AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION WITH YOU. you deserve better, boo.

lian: aren't you kirin already kuea: but i could be cosmic-exo kirin in korea. lian: okay. kuea: ... wait what?

OH FUCK SCREW THE WEDDING WAS THAT PERTH I JUST SAW?!?!?!?

[trishvaylar]

Well, after it has been almost full day after I first saw Katarina Rostova Conclusion, saw that small beautiful bow to all of us Keen2s, the carving on the bench The Witch set on before raising to her demise, which I see as a sign that true love could see any obstacle through and live, I need to say a few words about Donald and Liz.

I shall start with a declaration of honesty: I am Keen2, I do not ship Donald and Liz, to me they are almost likd fire and water, one always extinguishing the other. But I do realize that they care for each other and have cared for some time, I shall try and be objective about this.

I do believe that Donald's feelings towards Liz are true and have been tested by so many trials for many years. Donald cares for this woman deeply, which really makes him an easy target to her charm, and to her getting what she wants from him. I mean, she is still young, but with certain people she is a master manipulator. She could get Ressler to do what she wants, Aram is an easy cake, Cooper is pretty much one of those since season two, although he admonished Liz for not doing it openly, without trying to pretend she didn't do it; after they were together again, she could get Tom to do exactly what she wanted. With Red she understood early on that she only had to say "please" to have her way or his help. But I am not delving deeper into that right now. This is about Donald and Liz.

Yes, she is sometimes open and frank with him, but she also could be manipulative and cold. She is sometimes even cruel, what with what she said to Donald in 8.01 about him killing his father's killer. And Donald tries to show Liz he will not be coerced into doing her bidding, but when she calls, he comes. When she needs him to be somewhere, he is there. I know Red was cruel, but to the point when he told him that around Liz Don thinks with his, hmmmm, heart /that is, his dick😈/ . Donald is a good man, but he is way too righteous for Liz. I mean he is too righteous for Masha Reddington-Rostova. Tom was exactly right for her. The perfect combo of danger, exitement, romance, passion, lust, and tender caring for one another. Tom was living with high risk all through his entire consious life, and that resonated deep inside Elizabeth. With Don all will be different.

In 8.01 Don falls into a trap while being manipulated by Liz, who needed intel. She kisses him and I believe that the kiss was dictated by genuine affection, but also by the need to get away and run help her "mommy". I am sure that that hurt Don very much and deeply. But in 8.02 Liz isn't subtle any longer, she becomes openly manipulative where Donald becomes more open and strightforward with her. He tells her he sees himself as her family, he tells her he would do anything for her. But she only tells him "you can't" and leaves. Then she will ask him to save her "mother dear" from Red even by arresting her...

My God, Liz is totally walking in her real Mother's shoes now, having been only in love with Tom (Katarina with Raymond), and knowing that Don loves her (it is Ilya and Katarina parallel).

I believe it is Ilya who could prove to Liz The Witch was never her Mother, but is a theory for another post. This one is about Liz and Don.

I think the progress of that relationship rests entirely on Ressler. If he gives Liz a bit of assistance along with a little resistance, then she would be more inclined to find him interesting, but for now what she needs is a stopper. And all will be lost if she doesnt get one.

And now the only stopper she could have is Donald Ressler. Not the Ressler FBI agent, but Don, who loves and risks and cares. I think it is least of what Liz really deserves. But he must be prepared, for becoming a stopper to Masha Rostova-Reddington will not be easy for him.

I remain with respect to all the happy Keenlers out there, yours trully, Trish the Keen2. 🥰

#season 8 #Ressler and Keen #personal opinion on a turbulent relationship #two relationships #well no #actually four

[terramythos]

uhhhh liveblog reactions of the newest october daye book, #14, a killing frost. don’t look @ me. don’t @ me. 

monumental spoilers for this book & the entire series 

-aw tybalt is taking toby's last name

-SUS AF looks at Patrick and Dianda. 👀 I knew there was a reason we established that Patrick very close to Simon before he went crazy and evil. I feel like that was in Once Broken Faith (#10)?

-LMAO I straight up forgot Rayseline exists.

-great to see sylvester's still a dick.

-still endlessly funny to me that Sylvester's Literal Evil Twin Simon replaced him as Toby's father figure and now sylvester's just like, some asshole who randomly shows up sometimes

-great to see Luna's still a bitch.

-great family

-well it's interesting from a purely academic perspective to see what happens to May when she's literally missing organs. Usually it's Toby!

-hi Simon

-Simon: *is evil*

Toby: you know what? This dude is way more trustworthy than Sylvester!

(She's... not wrong)

-Simon: *is evil*

Toby: come oooon simon you're a good guy cmoooon this is getting boring

-oh cool we're going on a road trip with evil!Simon, that cant possibly go wrong

-*shit goes super wrong like right away* ok

-toby calling may her sister constantly in this book awww

-walther shows up :D I love him

-yaaay the Luidaeg finally my absolute fave absolute queen

-toby: so I went on this big quest on my own and now Quentin is kidnapped and May got elf-shot. It seemed like a good idea at the time so me and/or simon wouldnt get caught in some weird magic contract with you

The Luidaeg: wow, you're a fucking idiot

Toby's narration: this hurt on a personal level because she can't lie so i knew she like REALLY meant it

-ok so theres this weird bit where we learn Stacy is ultra protective of her kids dating. There is some discussion about how that is super weird and doesn't make any sense to toby. Then some more discussion about how a lot of Stacy's past doesn't add up. Specifically, stacy's grandparents were purebloods (who hated her), which actually makes zero sense biologically considering how little fae blood Stacy has. Also worth considering, though not mentioned, TWO of stacy's children are powerful seers which makes no sense from what we know about thin blood in canon.

I think this *might* connect to my ongoing suspicions of Marcia as a character, who is a thinblooded changeling who consistently keeps showing up. Including in this book when she really didn't need to. At this point she has met multiple Firstborn and they initially seem alarmed/disturbed when they see her for no apparent reason. 14 books since her intro and we know nothing about her past or even her heritage, which is unheard of in this series. When that kind of info is obscured its always because there's a big twist associated with it. There is something going on there.

-speaking of. Um. Simon and Sylvester's bio mom was a human? Excuse me? What? Hello?

-sylvester refused to claim her as their legal mother so simon (angry about it) had to reject her too. A whole new layer to the "fuck Sylvester" cake and brings some interesting perspective to him stepping in as a paternal figure for toby, a homeless changeling? What the fuck, Sylvester?

-this is also one reason why not evil!Simon isn't a total asshole to Toby.

-anyway. Toby being turned into an otter and biting The Luidaeg was fucking funny

-wow, evening REALLY sucks.

-dang the tree thing is pretty creepy :( big fuckin yikes

-OK so toby's sacrificing her way home to keep Simon from doing more damage? I guess is the plan? Fuck?

-toby seems to know names of some Roane she's never met and I'm not sure if that's a mistake or not

-oh Quentin is big mad at Simon. Even if this all goes well a lot of people are gonna hate him. Also, he hurt Dean which is gonna piss Patrick and Dianda off

-though it was basically mind control so. SHRUG????

-god, fuck evening

-WAIT. Something was just implied that. wait... if that's where this is going I'm MAD.

- Toby: *takes on the curse*

Simon: *is suddenly not evil*

Simon: toby what the fuck no why did you do that :(((

-i like Simon 😬

-"apparently, the thought of Patrick being angry with him was even more distressing than I'd expected it to be. Interesting." UM. UMMMM. 👀👀👀👀👀

-seeing Toby briefly turn into her book 1 version was funny. Immediately pointing at tybalt, the literal love of her life, and screaming "you FUCKER". Ah, memories.

-ok. Ok yeah that's where this was going. Fuck me. Fuck.

-i am SO MAD. a fucking THROWAWAY LINE ...

-ok so officer Thornton is Oberon. That's cool. Ok.

I immediately went and skimmed the two books he was in and caught two instances of foreshadowing.

In Ashes of Honor (#6) when toby meets him she describes him as familiar in a generic way. Like, she recognizes his voice and face immediately but can't place it.. This is never brought up again. In the final chapter of this book he is described the same way, as generic yet strangely familiar. So. A closer reading might be in order to see how other fae behave around him. It's possible Toby has a stronger reaction since he's her grandfather (and is the perspective character.)

And yeah, the fucking THROWAWAY "lady, let alone" line from The Brightest Fell (#11). At the time that just seemed awkward, or I guess a gratuitous Tam Lin reference. Fuck me. Also explains how he didnt implode or die from being trapped in Annwn.

-and it makes sense there isnt much more than that because it seems "officer thornton" doesnt know he's oberon. Like it's basically the situation Simon was in??? There's a throwaway "why in the world was Oberon disguised as a human and couldn't remember anything?" line but it isn't explored, so I assume its addressed in a future book.

-(oh my god Riordan kept him as like. Some sick pet. For a YEAR. she didn't know he was the literal King of Faerie. Fucking hell.)

-his fucking name. Thornton. THORNton. Perfectly human character here hahahaha fuck off.

-and this makes the whole fucking series setup of "toby will be the one to find oberon" way more funny because. Man, mission fucking accomplished. 8 books ago.

-thematically makes sense that he returns in The Brightest Fell, too. Fuck me. fuck me! Bitter irony that Simon is given the impossible task/curse to find Oberon in that book and he was literally like, zonked out two rooms away

-list of "minor/background" characters in this series who later reveal themselves to be Huge Lore Gamechangers: Evening, The Luidaeg, May, August, Janet, and now FUCKING Oberon.

-an entire chapter of Simon apologizing to everyone

- holy fuck? Canon ot3???? Simon/Patrick/Dianda??? OT3? HELLO?????

-the October daye series has a fucking canon ot3 and they're getting married. Alright. Ok. Thanks seanan for my life

-"simon, amandine is just the worst and doesn't deserve you. Come marry me and my wife" is not where I was expecting this to go but like okay I am on board

-so the divorce happens and toby unsurprisingly picks Simon as her legal parent. But August does too. Amandine is pissed... I'm sure that'll be a whole Thing.

-THIS BOOK LITERALLY ENDS WITH SIMON AND PATRICK AND DIANDA GETTING MARRIED I'M

-"I now declare you husbands and wife" asdfhdkskxj

-well that book was a fucking ride. Holy christ. Toby accidentally found Oberon. That was sort of the big overarching thing. Not sure where the story goes from here. Theres some loose ends I already discussed and Evening is still a threat but yeah!

-ok we still have the novella "Shine In Pearl" which seems to be about Simon and Patrick and Dianda pre-series

-this is mostly VERY angsty (but well written) but 👀 at this novella mentioning Dawn as a character who exists outside of like, an offhand mention in the first book. Also referring to Riordan like she's not a minor background character

-calling tybalt an asshole too lol

-christ. Poor simon. Even more context of literally everyone screwing him over. :(( I'm glad it's better now.

[halorocks1214]

the law of action

AO3 Link

Word Count: 10100

Summary: The Law of Action must be applied in order for us to manifest things on earth. Therefore, we must engage in actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions, and words

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | You are here! | Virgil | Scott | Gordon

these just keep getting longer fellas i dont understand how thats possible but it is. ALSO: REMEMBER IN ATTRACTION WHEN I MENTIONED THAT THESE WERE BEING WRITTEN OUT OF ORDER. HA, UH, KIND OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT I GUESS. but its here! johns pov chapter! im pretty satisfied with it, albeit a few kinks i wasnt really able to work out, so i hope you enjoy it too!

thanks again to @gumnut-logic for the prompts! "Where?" and lightning were this fic's choices. sad to see the last ones go away, but this was still a blast so thank you once more! also, just because the prompts are gone doesnt mean this series will be too ;3

Anger was a rare emotion for John Tracy.

It had to be. When dealing with the cold hard truth of data telling them something wasn't possible or dealing with annoying people who thought they knew better than him or dealing with people panicking in his ear because nobody expected the aftershock of an earthquake to be that bad, he didn’t have a choice. There were a lot of deals in life that had to be made and someone needed to play peacemaker, even if it wasn’t deserved.

It was true that he got the least angry out of his siblings, even compared to Virgil. Virgil might not get necessarily violent like Scott did, or threw caution to the wind like Gordon, or, hell, pulled off whatever John does when someone somehow manages puts him in a bad mood, but Virgil did get angry quite a lot. He just didn’t have as many blatant ways of showing it. John, on the other hand, didn’t have a lot of ticks. Pet peeves, definitely, John was no stranger to annoyance (especially with siblings like his), but not outright anger.

That didn’t mean he never got angry. He was Tracy born and bred, so that meant one the few ticks he did have surrounded the topic of family.

Specifically, his family being threatened.

John wished he was the youngest sometimes. That meant he could say things like let Scott punch the idiot already, he’d be doing the world a favor, and not get lambasted for the immature response. It also meant he could throw tantrums to hell and back and not feel like a total loser.

Like right now for example.

“EOS, I swear, if you don’t open the elevator door for me--”

“No, I won’t.”

Unbelievable.

Groaning and rubbing his face, his hands found their way up to his forehead and through his hair, holding his bangs out of his eyes for a moment. His eyes had many emotions in them, the most blatant being this shit cannot be happening right now, “EOS, do you know you’re amazing? I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

EOS whirled for a moment, “John, I’ve seen that grin on Gordon. I cannot believe you would stoop that low.”

The grin she pointed out fell flat off his face, “Yeah, okay, you’re right about that--”

“Like I always am.”

“--So thank you,” John was going to strangle whoever defined sass so thoroughly in the dictionary. It left a bad example, “For the reminder, but seriously, I need to get up to ‘Five. It’s… important.”

It’s been a week since Alan was taken.

They’ve exhausted all options.

The only thing that could possibly get him back to them had to be International Rescue’s resources.

But EOS over here wasn’t getting the memo. Her words had that hint of childish innocence behind it. In that way that said there was no innocence whatsoever and she knew exactly what she was doing, the little shit, “John, do you really need to, or do you want to?”

There’s the inflection that John taught her. An inhale through the nose and… Uuuugghh, “EOS, I know the difference between needs and wants, this is definitely a need.”

Another lens blink, another moment of disbelief, “It seems like you have a lot of needs, John Tracy.”

John grimaced and ground his jaw together, mumbling his grievances with the current situation, “Yeah, well, if there’s any trait I truly share with my siblings, it’s that we’re all high maintenance.” His next words were more clear and designed to get the point across, “EOS, I’m not kidding, unlock the door.”

EOS stood her ground, “John, you going up there is one of the most detrimental things to you’re health at the current moment. I won’t let you.”

John threw his hands into the air, “EOS, there’s are whole lotta things that are currently detrimental to my health currently happening, one more thing won’t hurt.”

EOS lens shuttered again and John felt like it was nails on a chalkboard, “You have a point, but I’ve seen you with Scott when he’s in a similar mood. Don’t you tell him he needs to take a moment and think when he gets like this?”

John groaned as quietly as possible. Not too loud, but loud enough that EOS hopefully got the point, “Yes, I do, but I’m not Scott. We are two very different people, you have pointed this out numerous times. We have different ways of handling things, this, and ‘Five is exactly how I can fix this problem.”

That was not how he should’ve worded that. Her lights flickered in sympathy, sympathy, and he knew she finally figured out what John was trying to get at, “John, there may still be a lot I have to learn, but at least I understand--”

“No, EOS!” John snapped before he could help himself. Before she could finish explaining her point of view that was most likely right, but his desperate brain didn’t want to hear it. His brain that was running on zero energy telling him this was taking too long, fix that, “You can’t understand!”

Just like that, John was reminded of why he hated getting angry.

As soon as the words left his mouth, so did the air in his lungs. Through sheer will and determination, the only thing that didn’t leave his body was the little amounts of food he ate over the past seven days, though it really wanted to. He became very pale, and EOS could detect the not-so-trace amounts of fear that fell over his eyes.

Dammit, you idiot. Months upon that past year of work were now going to go down the drain because you blew your lid just this once! First, the call with Alan, now telling the one thing that could kill you in your sleep she’ll never essentially be good enough was--

“I know, John.”

His food came back with a vengeance, but he was bullheaded as hell, and he already caused enough damage. The last thing anyone needed was to clean up vomit. It would’ve been nicer if she got angry at him. He could handle being thrown out into space. He couldn’t handle EOS admitting he was right, least of all over blatantly cruel words.

He channeled the energy his stomach wanted to use into weak words, “E-EOS, I…” What the hell was he supposed to say? Sorry surely wasn’t going to fucking cut it.

Well, whatever he wanted to cut didn’t come up, as EOS continued as if John wasn’t the worst thing on the planet, “I’ve been doing some reading. I understand that I’ll never really understand certain human-based things like you do. You, humans, have gotten close, me being one of the better examples, as long as that’s not considered bragging, but even I’m not at that level yet. But I do at least know you and your habits. I put up with them on a daily basis.”

Because if there’s anything else John needed to fail this week, it was the one promise he made to her. His promise to keep her safe, to make sure she wasn’t treated like a mindless robot by some crazy scientists ready and willing to cut her circuitry wide open like a middle-school science project. While he would never even get close to being a quote-on-quote crazy scientist, never in a million light-years, he surely didn’t follow that middle part of his promise, “EOS, listen, I--”

“Please, John,” and now she was pleading, thinking he was going to ask to use the elevator again. Thinking he wasn’t going to give up, even after all of that. John might’ve laughed if it wasn’t his fucking fault, “I’ll help look for more options if it means you’ll stay here for a little while longer. You should stay with your family. I know how they affect you in those positive ways that you currently need.”

John was abruptly aware of his heavy, almost wheeze-like breathing. If he wasn’t careful, it could delve into one whopper panic attack, which would be so great right now, “Y-Yeah, okay. They probably won’t understand the effects of gravity over an elongated period of time like I do, so I can stay and help with that, at least. Thank you.”

As John turned around, he heard EOS whisper to herself. He could blearily tell it was actually fondness that filled her vocal waves for once, but it still stung regardless, “Idiot.”

Yeah, he really was, wasn’t he.

As he helped look over his Dad’s med-scan with Virgil, when Virgil went looking for something on the other side of the room, his father whispered, “I know this is a bad question right about now, but, is there anything we can do for you? Maybe even I? You look dead on your feet.”

John could only reply to the first half of his father’s statement with a meek, “I don’t know anymore.”

---

16-year-old John Tracy was seated atop his roof, making sure he got the perfect view of the Big-Dipper.

He was hoping to spot a more exciting constellation when he first used his new telescope, but dangit! He was just so excited to get cracking right away! He just got back from his birthday party, Alan and Gordon snoozing in their rooms while Scott and Virgil secretly finished off the cake. That was okay. John was too busy focusing on his new expensive toy to worry about having any more sweets.

His dad could pull some strings when it counted.

Newest model. The only other people who have this baby are scientists at NASA. Happy birthday, John. Sorry I didn’t get you a car like Scott.

Fuck cool cars. John would be on cloud 9 for days with this thing. Scott would call him a nerd for it. Jokes on Scott, he couldn’t zoom about 10 thousand miles into space now, could he?

Right as he nailed it, the world shook. Large arms snaked around his waist and he involuntarily found himself giggling at the contact. As soon as those limbs let go, he blushed at his reaction and cleared his throat. Suddenly, the arms were an entire body sitting down right next to him, speaking with their ever-comforting burly voice, “Hiya, son, I see you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

Rolling his eyes, John turned back into his serious, analytical self once more, “Yup, this thing’s crazy. I’m glad I got out here as quickly as I did.”

Jeff simply grinned. John was always reserved, but Jeff was a good translator for all of his sons, and he could tell that John meant this is one of the best things in my life holy crap, “That’s great to hear. The look on your face when I brought this out of the closet was certainly good enough to last me a few lifetimes.”

John snorted, “I bet it was. I heard Gordon joking about it with Alan. I don’t think I need to see any pictures anymore. I have a pretty good mental image of what I looked like.”

Jeff smiled and sighed, “No kidding. “Like a goldfish with a broken jaw.” Not the most eloquent, that Gordon is.”

Laughter rang out throughout the roof, followed by a few moments of silence. Not awkward, but not really welcomed on John’s part either, “Do you…” Stop it, John, you’re asking for too much, “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Jeff tilted an eyebrow, “Oh, is it? I guess you would know if something were smart or dumb, so I trust your judgment.”

Dangit, Dad, why are you so manipulative, and why are you so good at it, “I don’t know. I’ve established I wanted to be an astronaut, right?”

Jeff nodded, “Mmhmm.”

John, for some reason, felt like he needed to tread carefully, “You are also an astronaut. If there was any way for you to be able to… could you… could you come up with me the first time?”

Jeff blinked in shock, and before his son could register that as disapproval, “Huh, well, that’s certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Now it was John’s turn to blink, his mouth gaped, “Wait, what? Are you serious? Aren’t there rules for this kind of stuff?”

Jeff shrugged, his shoulders clearly saying rules shmules, “I’m also one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet itself, and one of the most renowned ex-astronauts there are. You would not believe the lengths people are willing to go to kiss my ass. Would you feel better if I pinky promised?”

John’s nose scrunched, “You can never truly promise anything, you know.”

His father chuckled, used to his son’s antics. John was reserved, remember, “Well, you boys always credited me with doing the impossible.”

John continued challenging him, “When we were all less than 10, yeah, sure. I think Alan still thinks you can breathe in space. You. Specifically. No one else. I think he said you only wore the helmet to “protect your secret so the evil movie scientists don’t take you away.””

Chuckles turned into laughter and a clap on John’s shoulder, “Well, glad to see I still got the magic touch at least.” That same arm that playfully smacked him was now wrapped around his shoulders, “Just you wait, Johnny boy, if I can’t get on that ship with you, then you bet your ass I’ll at least be the loudest one cheering in the crowd.”

Then, suddenly, John was right, like he always was.

A promise that never should have been made: broken. A wish never fulfilled.

Dad was swallowed up by the very thing John loved.

No more space stories, no more fun moon facts, there was a void in John’s life as big as the galaxy itself, and he wasn’t sure how to walk around it, or God forbid even into it.

He tried to be the healthy sibling about it. He tried so hard. Getting through high school quicker than most so he could just worry about his family. Scott and Grandma were doing their best, and in so many ways, it was enough, but even they couldn’t bear all of the stress themselves.

But then his high school graduation came and Grandma gave him one of the biggest hugs of his and her life and he realized that he would never get one from his father again. His mom leaving this world was already bad enough, but at least his dad was there and knew how to fill in the gap after years and years of his marriage with her. You didn’t marry a woman like Lucille Tracy and not fundamentally understand how the gears in her brain turned lest you were truly insane. Maybe Dad was. Certainly would explain a lot of things from John’s perspective. Certainly would explain why she married him in the first place. Crazy attracts crazy.

Regardless, the one thing closest to his mom’s warmth and care was gone, and if he spent the night of his graduation party quietly sobbing his eyes out while the others slept, well, then he was glad they kept snoring.

Try as he might, he became just as unhealthy and unbalanced as the rest of his family, but he was more subtle about it. His self-destructive ways weren’t bad if other people had them, but when it came to him, oh, he knew it was the worst thing he could do in terms of recovery. That’s probably why the rest of the family didn’t notice (Good). John was smart, he would know better. Yes, he did, which is exactly why he dived headfirst right into it all.

Focusing on college, getting up into the star-filled void closer to his dead relatives as quickly as possible, focusing on the here-and-now to make sure this shit didn’t happen again. Making sure no family went through what theirs did.

And maybe that’s why, why he couldn’t handle the touch of others wanting to comfort him. Because it reminded him too much of what they used to have, of what they used to be. Too many hugs and kisses from others might wash away what his mom’s and dad’s felt like, and out of all the things they could potentially lose from this, those were the worst possible ones.

John was a Tracy, which meant he was stubborn.

He wasn’t going to lose the last few things he remembered about his parents if he could help it.

---

It had been just under a month, and John finally got what he wanted.

And it wasn’t working like he thought it would, if at all.

He’s been on ‘Five for three days, and for just a fleeting moment, it washed away any uncertainty. He felt back in control, if only minorly, and he held the world at his fingertips once more. Too bad the world he wanted to fix was so far away it felt like it was on the other side of the frickin solar system itself.

He promised his family four days at most. Please, just one chance. We won’t know unless we try. He wasn’t sure what cracked them first, them coming upon dead end after dead end, them finally seeing reason behind John’s argument, or if they just got annoyed with the space monitor after endless nagging and relented like tired parents.

The tiny part of John’s mind that still allowed him to joke kinda hoped it was the third option. “Easy child”, pfft. John’ll show them.

Right, right, a clear head, the most focused of IR, he can’t get unfocused or go too far off track. He’s saved many lives throughout his life, all of them thanks to his level head, but right now, he was arguably saving the most important life of all, so that meant he had even more incentive to stay focused.

In fact, he was so focused, he jumped at the sudden, feminine voice filling the room, “John, I found another article I think you would like to see about most common places criminals… John?”

Crap, he was halfway into the fetal position. Slowly uncurling, John nodded, “Oh, thank you, EOS. I’ll start reading it shortly.”

The noise of her lens adjusting sounded throughout ‘Five again, “Of course. Let me know if you would like me to start searching for a different topic, though. There has to be a limit to how many “You wouldn’t believe this” articles one can take, and I think I’m finding it really quickly.”

For the next few seconds, John was suddenly filled with a rush of determination he had been trying to get after their little confrontation in front of a locked elevator door to ‘Five.

She had been helping him out so much the past couple of weeks. Running unnecessary tests for him, searching parts of the web only she could search without getting tracked by some secret mafia, letting him know it was okay if he couldn’t get everything right the first time when two months ago she snapped at him for getting a simple algebra equation wrong due to lack of sleep. She had been especially patient with him recently, even after their little spat in the hangar, and John wasn’t sure how to process it. A tiny part wanted to resort to anger again because he clearly didn’t deserve her, but the more prevalent parts preferred something like depression or even apathy.

She had been making sure his world didn’t spin off its axis, and John couldn’t even tell her sorry until now.

“EOS, I’m sorry.”

She stopped moving, turned around and let her lights blink yellow for only a moment, “For what, John?”

The man in question waved his hands around in front of his face, lost, confusing her more. With a sigh, he explained, “For a lot of things, but mainly from a few weeks back when we had that argument. I said something that wasn’t okay, and I didn’t have the balls to own up to it until now. So, I’m sorry. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have even been near.”

For a little bit, it was quiet. John waited as the A.I. contemplated his words. Then, she spoke her judgment, “Well, I know you are. You haven’t exactly been working off your butt over nothing, right? Plus, reliable sources say one of the ways guilt manifests is anger. I’ve seen that with the rest of your family. It would make sense yours would too.”

John blinked. Part of him was expecting her to not fully understand why he was apologizing, but the other wanted her to just so he could get over this, just so he could let go of even just the teeniest amount of guilt he had, “EOS, anger isn’t a valid excuse. What I said was wrong. I don’t believe those words and you shouldn’t either. The whole point of this partnership is to show you that there’s more to life than just calculations and probabilities. It’s kind of hard to see that when the one person who promised to be different went and screwed it up anyway.”

John hoped EOS was at least questioning things now instead of letting his words go in one ear and out the other. Her next words said she was doing exactly the latter, “Okay. I don’t disagree with you, John, but I don’t know why you’re so hooked on this. I understand. We don’t have to worry about this unnecessarily anymore.”

Yes, you do understand. That’s the fucking point.

They weren’t getting anywhere, yet John didn’t even have the energy to groan in annoyance. He could even get his eyebrow to twitch.

All he could do was simply lean his head back against the wall and let his hair stick up against it like static electricity was flowing through it. The real reason it was sticking up was probably due to a mixture of Zero-Gs and grease from all of the showering he hasn’t been doing, however. His eyes had deep rings around them, and for a second, EOS thought about how relative age could be as a number while John softly spoke, “The Hood was an angry man, too, you know. He felt slighted by our family and wanted us to feel the same. It still doesn’t make what he did right.”

EOS thought about his words before coming to a logical conclusion, “Well, that’s certainly a leap in logic. There’s a big gap between simply yelling because you’re annoyed and literal kidnapping. One gives people a sour mood, the other gives them a significant amount of jail--”

“Yes, EOS, I’m aware of that,” John brought his hand to his face, but underneath it was a grin, telling the world that he was feeling fond exasperation more than anything. EOS was more obtuse than him sometimes. It was one of the few things of himself he wished she didn’t copy so easily. He sighed and brought his hand back down, “I’m just... putting things into perspective. I want you to see why my words were wrong. It would make me feel better if you did.”

EOS hung still, letting John’s admission roll over her wiring like a wave of electricity, “You have a lot of needs and wants. What takes precedent?”

More inflection. This time, John welcomed it. It gave him something to stand on. John wanted a lot of things. Alan to be home safe and sound, Dad to have not disappeared for nearly a decade, for his brothers to stop slowly killing themselves, for himself to stop, but the needs of the many, even the needs of one, outweigh the wants of a singular man like him, but, “Well, needs obviously, they’re necessary, however… it’s okay to be selfish every once in a blue moon. It doesn’t make you inherently bad.”

It was advice he parroted many-a-times to his family, some of them more often than others, seldom to himself if at all.

Scott, it’s okay if you have to tell them you can’t make this business conference.

Virgil, you can count inventory in the morning. You didn’t get any sleep last night either.

Gordon, if you can’t smile for a day or two, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Kayo, you don’t have to patrol every night. We have security cams for a reason.

Alan, I know we tease you, but you missing a chore or two isn’t the end of the world.

Grandma, you already do enough for us, you barely cooking for us is the least of our worries.

That last one might be more for the rest of his family than not, but hey, two birds and one stone. Keeping his back against the wall, John stood up straighter against it, face suddenly serious, ���In fact, wanting to be selfish is one of the best ways to tell that you’re human. You can’t escape it. It only becomes bad when you end up only being that.”

EOS sat in silence, her lens flickering in that way it always does when she was signifying she was about to pass judgment like a Goddess, which she seemed to be doing a lot more recently, “Well then… If I’m allowed one moment of self-reprieve, I suppose I should say that those words did… hurt.”

John grimaced despite very much understanding that he deserved it. The return of the inflection didn’t exactly help. Pushing himself away from the wall, he felt the metaphorical weight fall off his shoulders, “Yes, they did, and while they weren’t okay, it is okay to say that they weren’t. I still am very sorry.”

EOS adjusted her camera, probably to stall for time, “I know you are, John. I still forgive you, but am I correct in assuming I’m allowed some time to… recover isn’t the word I’m looking for, but--”

“Yes, EOS,” John helped her explain her own point, “Recover is a good word. You’re allowed that if you want it.”

John wasn’t sure how, but it seemed like EOS visibly relaxed, “Thank you, then, for letting me do that. This.”

For some reason, John did too, “Of course.”

It was a soft kind of awkward silence, where both parties had something on their mind but they weren’t entirely sure if they wanted to say it out loud. This is why EOS appreciated John more than the others, he simply let silence be silence. It allowed her time to think, unlike how Scott and Virgil kept asking questions, or how that awful duo made noises and messes only to have a chance at making people laugh. As if that was the most important thing they needed to do.

The nights the youngest called John were endless with his constant babbling that tended to grate her circuit boards. The only reason she let it happen was that John seemed to loosen up at the interaction. He became less weary, less worried-filled. He seemed to greatly enjoy the audial presence of Alan Tracy, let alone the way he lit up when the youngest actually showed up in person. It was just unfortunate that it seemed like the kid could never keep his mouth shut.

Then again… from what John said, the whole reason there wasn’t any more Alan was because he did keep it shut. At the worst moment possible. Now there wouldn’t be any more babbling period. Alan was gone, and the whole family was suffering from the new silence. EOS reasoned it was from the general idea of forced silence instead of just freely being able to leave the room or being able to tell him to quiet down, but maybe it was more than that. She could make another list of options to consider.

Plus, it was weird to think about a future where all of those video game walkthroughs she was forced to save would never be used again. John insisted that they weren’t just wastes of megabytes, so...

Hmm.

“Could you…” EOS trailed off, and before John could comprehend the unusual behavior of the A.I., she started speaking again, “Could you tell me more about Alan? I’m starting to think I judged him rather harshly.”

John took a moment to register her words and promptly snorted, “Well, most of your assumptions about him aren’t entirely unfounded, but that’s one of the joys of being an older sibling, I guess. Surprises around every corner,” there was regret in her voice and John knew he had to treat this as gently as he would a newborn child otherwise he would never hear it again.

EOS flickered, “I thought you didn’t like surprises.”

Uh, “Well, not usually, but there are a few from time to time that I could look back on and call them… quaint, in a sense.” Suddenly, a memory resurfaced, and John found himself grinning like he was doped up on nitrous oxide, “Yeah, they can have good surprises occasionally…”

It was a week before his next rotation. Scott would be back home in about three days, which allowed the second born to actually have a few moments with his only older brother. He was looking forward to it just as much as Scott was. Right now, though, he had to make sure he got the right angle.

Right as he did, he heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps come up the ladder, and when he turned around, he was met with a bundle of freckles, “Oh, hey Alan.”

Hi, Johnny, the kid squirmed out, Is it okay if I sit next to you?

At first, a list of things wanted to fill John’s head. You look dead on your feet, you should be asleep, you have a lot going on this week so why are you wasting sleep? but instead of any of those filling the void that was his brain, John simply nodded, “Yeah, sure, come pop a squat, Sprout.”

John looked away right before he could watch Alan’s nose wrinkle in displeasure. Despite the usage of the nickname (that Alan secretly liked, don’t think you could pull that wool over our eyes, little bro), the kid still toddled over and flopped himself down right next to his older brother. Sighing, the kid leaned his head on John’s arm and absentmindedly stared out into space, both figuratively and literally. Satisfied his brother was comfy, John went back to his current objective.

As John examined the night sky, he also carefully looked over Alan out of the corner of his eye. Every bruise that John could see was finally dulling out into that familiar greyish-yellow as bruises do, and the sight was enough to calm any negative emotion being created from the reminder. John refocused on his telescope to help as well.

The kid had been through one hell of a week, bullies being their typical selves. Every Tracy outside of Scott and Gordon had their fair share of their own experiences with nasty people, and it wasn’t even the first time they’ve left their special kind of blue-and-black marks, but seeing it on Alan was… worse, somehow. Virgil had unsavory anonymous notes at ‘best’, and John knew first hand that their hits bruised more than just physical skin. So to see Alan get the same treatment and not say anything...

John was starting to understand why his older brother greyed so easily.

Speaking of which, Scott was pretty peeved at the idea of not being there for Alan. Because of this, John made sure to be the sole one to call him and inform him of the awful news while the older brother was out at his designated Air Force base. John wanted to see with his own two eyes that Scott wouldn’t do anything rash and made himself liable to be put on some kind of list.

You would think he wouldn’t be that stupid, but the Tracys are known for breaking expectations over their sweet, sweet kneecaps.

(“Scott, you’re not going to steal an Air Force jet just to come and beat up some dumb kids.”

“Watch me.”

“They’re only a year older than Alan.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen, we already scarred them enough as it is, let alone their expulsions. Grandma’s threats to the adults were liable for a government-mandated therapist, Virgil just being there had them running for the hills, the computer I was sporting sent chills down their spines and throughout the hallways, and that’s not even to mention Gordon’s threats to the kids themselves. Seriously, where would a 15-year-old even get the tools to do that?”

Scott visibly relaxed at John’s point, but he still sat a little taut, not fully accepting the idea of people being cruel enough to hurt a literal ray of sunshine, “Fine, fine, I still want to talk to the kid over a call at some point. He was the one who dealt with those idiots.”

John’s shoulders deflated, “Yeah, you got me there. He’ll be back with Virgil and Gordon soon enough, you can see him then.”

Scott smiled in a way that washed away the greys in his hair, if only for a moment, “Awesome, I--”

John wasn’t completely done, “But I’m going to be with Alan while you talk to him. I don’t trust you to not be in search-and-destroy mode, and the last thing Alan needs is an angry you with no buffer. Besides, I’m pretty sure we have the same questions. I can play the angsty-Scott translator tonight. Usual fee, 10 bucks each word.”

The groan that managed to fill the whole house despite the tiny speakers was one John would never forget.)

Too lost in thought, John didn’t catch Alan’s movements at first. Leaning away from his telescope, John focused on Alan, “Sorry, Allie, did you say something?”

The child simply shrugged and smushed his chubby cheeks against John’s side, shaking his head, followed by his hands, I just wanted to see what you were doing.

Ah, that made sense. Alan had been continuously signing for the past year because of the obvious, so John rolled with the punches. It was always funny when they talked about these years in the future. Alan talked, Alan said, Alan brought up: it was always metaphorical, and nobody could believe them when they said Alan was fluent in ASL, let alone because he could actually go half a day without talking.

It was ironic because even with no words, Alan still managed to be the loudest thing on the planet. His hands always screamed with excitement whenever he felt like ‘talking’, and no brother ever felt like shutting him up. Especially when it was so easy for Alan to simply not shake his hands to hide the fact that he was in trouble--

Right, don’t go there. John shook his head to bring himself out of his thoughts and replied to the non-verbal admission, “Just looking at the stars. Recording their coordinates and whatnot.”

A small gasp had John jerking immediately away from his scope to see Alan suddenly very worried, maybe even fearful, But won’t you lose your eyes?!

Aha, what? “Allie, you’re going to have to give me more than that.”

John almost didn’t catch what Alan was trying to explain with the way he frantically shook his hands even faster than before, Mrs. Gatsen explained to us that the sun was a star too, but we’re not allowed to look at it for too long because it’ll steal our eyes! I don’t want you to lose your eyes, Johnny!

Ohoho, the part of John’s brain that was all about the smartsy stuff was gearing up to have a full-blown seminar of sorts, but the way the kid seemed so sincere in his worry, in his fear, John felt partially bad for giggling instead, “Oh, Allie, no. Here,” John was activating his inner Virgil and Scott with the way he grabbed the youngster and placed him in his lap, “Yes, the sun is a star, but there are many kinds of stars. Most of which don’t hurt your eyes. Take a look.”

Alan gave one last sentimental look at John, who nodded again just to reassure the blonde before the boy gulped and put his eye against the tool like Johnny did. This time, the gasp that came from him was more magical, more child-like, as it always should be. John watched on as the kid became stuck to his telescope like glue.

Suddenly, Alan leaned back into John, somewhat knocking the wind out of him. Honestly, now that he was thinking about it, John realized he was pushing it by letting Alan sit next to him in terms of his personal comfort zone. He loved Allie just as much as the rest of the family, but letting them in, letting them get close, was veering dangerously close to that specific ‘hug’ territory like he and his parents had.

Before John could explain that in a child-friendly way, and hopefully in a way where the too-smart-for-his-own-good kid couldn’t pick up on the hidden message, Alan looked him directly in the eyes and confidently signed his wants, Can we do this more often? Can we?

Just like that, John’s mind blanked. Alan wanted to do something with him. Not swim with Gordon, not music with Virgil, not do, well, anything with Scott, Allie found something that he would like to do with John.

Huh, interesting, “Yeah, sure. If we can’t do it in the next week, then the first thing we’ll do when I come down is stargaze, because that’s what it’s called: stargazing.”

Alan started gripping his arm tighter and leaned more into his chest, nodding vigorously at the news and looking back to the sky with newfound wonder. Letting Alan be, abruptly forgetting his grievances with things like touch, John went back to his telescope. After another minute or so, John reached a point where he needed both sides of his body, except it looked like one of them was going to be kept immobile unless the spaceman said something to Alan.

John tried doing just that, just without looking away from his device, “Hey, Allie, I don’t mind the sitting-in-my-lap and stuff, but I do need my arm back to--”

Snoring.

Oh.

Jerking his head to physically look at his sibling, John found Alan passed out and squeezing his arm like a freckled koala bear. The ginger flinched a little bit at the drool dripping onto his sleeve, but the way Allie melted into him made him-- actually, he was very suddenly aware that this whole night he hadn’t really been thinking at all, and that thought made him continue to stare mindlessly at the dozing brother.

He always thought about, well, everything. What he was going to say, what he planned to do tomorrow, about what the future held now that they were down their second and last parent. If he didn’t think about it beforehand, he rarely did it. He had to make sure he went through all of his options before haphazardly jumping into the pits of hell.

Yet the way his younger brother looked at him like he was the world himself tonight made John throw all of his training to be as cautious as possible out the window in a need to comfort and care for the small thing in front of him.

It was shocking to his mind, yet he didn’t resent just being able to do without worrying too much. Was this how smother complexes started? Did he ever drool on Scott’s arm? Still staring at Alan, John’s mind continued to be robotic as he simply let his younger brother be and went back to his telescope. Alan had been needing to get a little more sleep lately anyway.

Yeah, it was fine. He could figure out how to follow up on his words later. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out a way to squeeze Alan into some of his already-planned stargazing nights while making sure the kid still got sleep. Also, John’s used telescopes wearing a cast and sling before, he might prefer two arms, but he has been okay with only one.

If Grandma yelled at John for spending too much time on the roof again, well, she would have to get over it. Alan got an extra hour of sleep and that was all that mattered.

EOS watched as John finished the story. Once he was done, he continued to be quiet while grinning at nothing. All he was doing was simply staring at the floor… It was slightly creepy, and EOS cleared her nonexistent throat, “Huh, I didn’t realize he got a lot of his interests from you. Maybe… maybe you could show me why he did. He can too. More perspectives always get more data.”

John blinked and was immediately taken out of his trance. He brought his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat, “Yeah, he-- wait, what?”

EOS sighed. This is another reason why she snapped him out of it; his inability to listen to someone right in front of him. She simplified her words, “If Alan comes back, can you two take me stargazing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen what the stars look like down there, or, at least, I never looked at them long enough to understand what you all find to be so fascinating about them.”

John blinked a few more times with his mouth slightly gaped. He looked around nervously before bringing his turquoise eyes to look EOS directly in the middle of her camera, “Yeah, sure, EOS. When Alan gets back, that’s the first thing we’ll do.”

EOS didn’t mention anything about the correction of if to when, “Thank you, John, I would like that very much.”

John nodded and floated back to his tech, “Of course. Now then, we’ve got work to do. I’ve been meaning to stargaze recently anyway.”

He still had one more day up here.

And a baby brother who needed saving.

How hard could it be?

---

Very.

Growling in frustration, he thumped his fist against the wall next to him rather harshly.

Not enough to leave any kind of mark or dent, but enough for him to focus on the tiny amount of pain it gave him. He vaguely heard EOS’s lens flare at the sudden noise, but he was a little too focused on why he felt the need to hit his girl.

It was the end of the last day, and he didn’t make it any further like he thought he would.

Some bleak part of his mind was hoped, prayed that his girl would have the tools to find their baby brother. He was willing to bend her entire satellite to be able to reach the far ends of the galaxy if he had to, but even he had to concede that she wasn’t enough. The Hood wasn’t dumb, unfortunately, and he wasn’t going to go easy on them. That is if he was even going “to go” on them to start with.

While it wasn’t the first time he failed spectacularly, this failure certainly hurt the worst.

Half of him wanted to curl up into a ball and forget everything for a moment (or maybe forever), but the other half won out in terms of what his body contorted into. Instead of curling up like a prickly hedgehog, he leaned backward to be floating with his back to the ground and his face to the ceiling with his face in his hands. Meanwhile, EOS silently gazed from her camera in the corner. Watching John struggle this way was… new, and it twisted her wires in a way she wasn’t sure she could describe.

EOS watched him mumble something. Huh, peculiar as ever. Adjusting her camera, she tried small talk, “What was that, John?”

Still mumbles, but more intelligible, “... I need to drop the ‘s’.”

A flicker of yellow, nothing but pure confusion for once in her robotic life, “The ‘s’ of what?”

Suddenly, the astronaut was standing (well, floating) upright with a look of disdain, but EOS could see that it wasn’t meant for her, “Of ‘she’. It’s not ‘Five’s fault, God, it never is, but maybe… maybe it’s mine.”

All of her programs should allow her to say something. Anything, sugarcoated or not, would be beneficial to this seemingly one-sided conversation, but this was the moment she learned that humans could be faster than computers since John steamrolled right to the point without hesitation, “He wasn’t good enough sounds better. Nothing I’m doing is getting any results. I gave my family false hope that I would find something and now I have to go to them and essentially break them. They were already barely holding it together as it was, but when the “smart one” in their family says there’s nothing he can do…”

She found herself going against the logical part of her program-- because despite the idiot John Tracy could be, when he made an argument that had any kind of evidence you never could go against it-- the first time in, well, ever, in an attempt to comfort her partner, “John… I think you’re grasping at straws here.”

He looked up from the floor, and EOS had to shrink her lens at the sight of unshed tears in his eyes, “Who was the one that called him?! Me! He was standing there only a few rooms over, probably terrified out of his mind, and I didn’t know. I let him slip between our fingers because I was so caught up in the moment and I hate myself for it.”

EOS found herself speechless for once, and the few droplets of tears that floated in front of John’s face didn’t help. She had been trying her best recently, especially recently, to understand the fluctuations of human emotion, and she was pretty sure she had decent tabs on at least John nowadays, but this was something unexpected, a thing her programming never really liked to deal with. It involved lots of new calculations and new sims, why, it made things seconds longer when they didn’t have the time to deal with it!

Her electronic voice box made a noise with the intent to say something, as she thought she finally had the time to deal with it, but just her luck, more unexpected things made her reapproach the issue at hand, “John, look out! The Chaos Crew!”

Blinking out of his self-deprecation train, John was uncharacteristically panicking, “What, where?” After doing a full 180, John eventually saw one of his comm radios with the familiar pink symbol floating above it.

John’s pupils shrunk and his eyebrows tilted downward in that unfamiliar emotion: anger.

Fuck this.

The mood change was as fast as the speed of lightning. John practically flung himself to the communication device on something akin to a warpath. No longer regretful or depressed, John was filled to the brim with fury at the sight of one of the men that was a constant thorn in the Tracy family’s side, “What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you--”

“Wait wait wait!” Fuse pleaded, making John momentarily pause enough to listen, “I’m not good at this like my sister is, so this connection is going to drop soon. I need you to reopen the line yourself so I can explain what I’m here for! Trust me, I swear I’m not--”

Zip.

Blinking at the lack of noise, John slowly turned his head to look at his A.I. to get her opinion on the matter. It wasn’t a positive one, that’s for sure. Her dots were bright red, and for the first time in a while, he found himself flinching at the sight and sound of her, “It wouldn’t take much of me to get rid of the nuisance, you know.”

Taking a few deep breaths, John shook his head, “No, EOS, give me a sec. Don’t send him careening into space.”

Yet.

With shaky hands, John did as Fuse begged and found the comm line the guy haphazardly threw together. Right as Fuse jumped at the sight of one of the Tracys actually hearing him out, John’s voice spoke coldly, “You have five minutes. Go.”

Fuse gulped, “W-Well, I suppose the first thing to do would be to apologize. I’ve caused a lot of messes for you and your family-- heh, ‘messes’ probably doesn’t even come close to explaining what I did-- and I realize that now, so I want to--”

Ah, that tactic. The one where they try so desperately to seem like they were repentant. John wasn’t familiar with it, but Scott sure was. Shady business owners trying to shy away from their consequences made the eldest very aware of how slimy those in power could be. Scott complained about it a lot, so John made sure to always remember it just in case he ever ran into it himself.

Preplanning wins again in the Tracy household. You should listen to John’s advice more, Gordon, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” John muttered mostly to himself and moved in a way that signified something was going to happen.

Fuse sputtered and stopped immediately. Crap, he was going about this wrong. These were all things he was suddenly genuine about, he really was, but the Tracys didn’t want useless apologies at the moment, and he understood that. Hopefully, he didn’t understand it too late. Right before John could do anything to him or give any kind of command to his satellite, Fuse blurted the information he should’ve said the first place, “I know where he is!”

John felt like the Earth flew right off its axis.

Everything froze, including EOS. His hand was out in front of him for some reason, probably subconsciously reaching for some kind of button, as he absentmindedly listened to the whirl of ‘Five and his brain fully processed what Fuse was promising, “... What?”

John was keenly aware that sounding so weak, so hopeful, was something that Fuse could spinelessly abuse if the man wanted to, but John had a good lie detector. The words that fumbled out of half The Chaos Crew’s mouth were sounding good, great, and John could tell that he wasn’t bullshitting anything, “I know where he’s keeping your bro. I mean… shit, what The Hood did wasn’t right, maybe it never was, but I know this specifically is--” a break in his speech in an attempt to words things better. Fuse failed, “Bad. I just…”

John’s head involuntarily tilted at the way Fuse trailed off. For once in his life, John was at a loss. This was highly uncharacteristic from what John had seen of The Chaos Crew, and the astronaut was so flabbergasted he couldn’t even begin to come up with any possible ulterior motive behind Fuse’s actions at the moment.

Suddenly, Fuse looked back up with big eyes, almost reminding John of Alan a little bit. Not in the obvious ways, because Fuse was on the verge of seven feet tall and built like a truck whereas Alan was the teeniest thing on the planet, but… John could see similar traits of innocence in them. The eyes of someone desperately clinging onto the last few shreds of hope they had, but still ready to do what's right because of it. Because even if the light at the end of the tunnel was small it was still worth fighting for.

Fuse, seeing that John wasn’t going to say anything, bit the bullet, “I don’t know, call it selfish, call it smart, but if The Hood is willing to do something like this to someone so young, I… I don’t want to be apart of it. I can’t give any information about my sister, I’m no snitch, but I want out, even if it means spending the rest of my days in a GDF cell.”

John was suddenly aware of a burning question, “Wait, how old are you, Fuse?”

A tired sigh, aging Fuse to something that was probably three times what he was going to say, “I turn 20 in two weeks.”

John sharply inhaled, “Jesus, I… I didn’t realize you were that young.”

A lot of things made sense quickly and abruptly like they always do for the ginger.

If The Hood was willing to do this to someone so young, that didn’t stop him from doing this to someone like Fuse. The logical conclusion the now ‘ex-villain’ made probably danced the wildest jig in his head, and before anyone could clap their hands, he got as far away as possible. John wouldn’t be surprised if The Hood made idle threats for not following orders or for “being stupid”, so Fuse had every right to feel threatened.

Jeez, he was probably terrified at the implication. A dark, buried part of John selfishly thought good, it sucks you had to learn the hard way, but now you see why we all hate him, but the first thing that came to his mind was something unexpected yet expected all the same.

John was reminded of Alan again.

Except Alan had four older brothers to run to when the monsters got too big or too frightening.

…

Scott was going to kill him, “Park her over on the left and come in. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Bring inside whatever you think will help.”

EOS’s shrill John! ringed throughout the room, yet it was overruled swiftly. Fuse’s mouth was wide open, “For real?”

John couldn’t tell if he was losing the knots in his stomach or forming completely new ones, “Yes. Don’t do anything funny, though. I have eyes everywhere.”

Fuse gulped again, yet he was very business-like with his next words, “Of course.”

The line cut a millisecond before John wanted it to. John knew exactly why, “Listen, EOS--”

EOS was suddenly in his face, and it spoke miles at how far she’s come that she wasn’t blaring any alarms in anger, “No, you listen, John Tracy. I cannot believe the level of ignorance you are displaying!”

Gordon always joked about her being his daughter, but right now, John’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the feeling of being scolded by an overbearing mother, “I get this may seem like I’ve lost it--” jokes on EOS, who says he hasn’t at this point? “Listen, there’s nothing else left to go off of, and I know this makes me look like a crazy man desperate for information that might not even be there, but--”

“No buts!” EOS shrieked, “You told me that if you followed a sentence with a “but” that what you were about to say shouldn’t even be considered an option! What is making you throw all of my training out the window?!”

John’s mouth became very dry. This conversation was taking a very different turn, “Wait, EOS, why is this all about you suddenly--”

John was starting to regret giving her more mobility at the sight of her jamming her camera directly in his face even more, “It’s not just about me! This affects you too! You said you always based your decisions on the here-and-now, so I should too, so why am I the only one doing so?! You’ve seen what he’s capable of!”

John’s mind tended to be made of gears, and all of them began spinning at the same time. Dammit, he didn’t pick up on this because he didn’t even consider it a factor: EOS being scared. Hell, it wasn't even considered because the last time he remembered her being this scared was when she thought he was a threat during the first time they met (was it really that long ago?). She was scared that Fuse was going to hurt John like he hurt the rest of the astronaut’s family. Like he hurt Gordon.

The only difference is that nobody could get to John like they did Gordon, so that left the ginger at an impasse if the small chance that Fuse was here to hurt him came true.

John found it very hard to breathe all of a sudden. Closing his eyes and struggling to get enough air in, he realized a fundamental problem. EOS was based on data and things that have been recorded, and so far, the only things recorded about Fuse was that he was hellbent on hurting the Tracy family, a family that John was apart of.

She didn’t know any other way to feel about the guy, she didn’t have any other example.

John would love to be that way too, honestly, to just focus on the data. Numbers never tended to be wrong, and the idea of being a simple number-crunching bot would make life a shit-ton easier, but he can’t. He’s human. One that’s very much willing to go against the numbers and probabilities if it meant helping his family.

A rarity for John, to follow his gut and nothing else, but at the end of the day, he was a Tracy, and following his gut was as familiar to him as it was to name all of the immediate constellations in the summer’s nighttime sky, “EOS, I know it’ll be hard to believe me, hell, I’m having trouble believing myself, but Fuse isn’t here to hurt me. The here-and-now is different for reasons I don’t have enough time to properly explain, okay? If there’s anything to believe, believe in the trust you have in me to make the right decision like I always do.”

EOS made no noise, not even a flicker of her lens. He expected her usual sass, something along the lines of, Who says I trust you, moron? but what he got punched away what little air he managed to collect, “... Do you promise?”

That was the million-dollar question. Of course, he couldn’t. He didn’t like making promises after the age of 12. Too many probabilities, too many what-ifs, made promises somewhat of a theoretical impossibility. But just like that night on the roof with Alan, John was able to not think, “I promise, EOS. You wanted to go stargazing with me and Alan, right? Fuse might be able to let us do that again.”

‘Family’ was a Wild Card. Nothing was possible, yet everything was at the same time when it came down to it. ‘Family’ was what made Scott go from day to day without keeling over. ‘Family’ was what got Virgil to sleep at night when he just couldn’t by himself. ‘Family’ was how Gordon managed to keep smiling and joking despite everything in the world trying to make him stop. Hell, ‘Family’ was how their father kicked the word impossible right in the groin and live.

‘Family’ might have been why Alan was stuck in such a shitty situation, but it was also the reason the kid was willing and able to go that far in the first place. He learned that selflessness from his ‘Family’, after all.

John was intent to use that fact to the fullest.

EOS’s lights blinked in contemplation before she quietly spoke once more, “Do I have permission to shock him if he makes even the slightest suspicious movement?”

John rolled his eyes yet grinned all the same, “Sure, only just a little voltage, though. Right in the ass. Would be a nice pick-me-up after all of this.”

Well, despite the year they’ve had, John wasn’t aware EOS could snort. Another sign things might be going right for once.

The door swwwshed open and Fuse floated into where the two hyper-intelligent beings were hanging about and got straight to the point, “Thank you. I hope… I hope I don’t let you down.”

John found himself light as air, and it wasn’t just the zero-gravity this time, “Sounds good. Let’s get cracking.”

While the first thing he did back on Earth was scare his father and his immediate younger brother shitless, the way they and the rest of the family lit up at the plan he and Fuse came up with (after making sure nobody killed the dude, which was surprisingly more difficult than expected, and boy was it expected) made it all worth it.

Well, maybe the sight of Fuse occasionally jumping and yelping at a strange pinch in his bottom with no known cause was worth it too. John wouldn’t tell his brothers that, though, he was the responsible one, remember?

You always made me look at things differently, EOS. Thank you.

[thequeendesi]

Shit y'all need to acknowledge

Johnny isn't some small "uwu baby"

He's 16 years old

He can hold his own in a fight

He killed someone

He is a minor

He once got beaten by a board and didn't cry

Just bc he expressed remorse for murder, doesn't make him any less of a murderer

"But Des! He was just defending himself and Pony!" That is true, however, it doesn't change the fact that he is one, and you guys need to stop fucking acting like all he does is cry and is a "smol uwu baby". He isn't some stutter-y fool who can't speak up for himself. He stood up to DALLAS. He stood up to the SOCS. He saved CHILDREN. Johnny is so misinterpreted. He's SOFT SPOKEN, He is not DEFENCELESS.

Ponyboy is NOT a cry baby.

He is a 14 year old boy who lost his parents and then saw a DEAD body right in front of him

Ponyboy is a CHILD

Please read that one again

Ponyboy is a child who lost 4 people in less than a year

Who would most likely deal w ptsd.

Ponyboy can also hold his own in a fight.

The reason why pony thinks everyone hates him; HES A KID DUDE. Everyone gets that feeling.

"But Des! He cries a lot in the book :(". You tell me that you wouldn't cry after being an orphan raised by your eldest brother who is under so much stress that you think he hates you, lose your parents in a car crash, near 'bout fucking drown than like 30 minutes later see that person dead right next to you, lose your best friend right in front of your eyes, and then witness someone's suicide. The kid is going through the motions. He can't even remember to keep both of his shoes on, he has a nicotine addiction, and had to go to court to pretty much testify.

Dallas is literally a criminal at like 16ish years old

He fights

Steals

Harasses women

He terrorizes kids

All for the hell of it

He got locked up at 10

He isn't some good guy, he is a TERRIBLE person

"Uh, Des, He gave Johnny and Pony a place to stay when they went on the run, he obviously is a good person." Ok, no. Literally. No. He gave them a temporary place to go while they were on the run for murder. He gave a child a gun. He literally kept trying to get into Cherry's pants after she told him no. That is nOT ok. You guys need to stop glorifying Dallas as this hero who saved the day. Dallas is CANNONLY terrible person; he bullies kids, harasses women, breaks peoples bones for fun, steals and tried to rob a man at gun point. How bad of a kid could you be to get locked up at 10??

Soda is a high school drop out.

And he isnt better than Sandy

He flirted with other chicks

He made inappropriate comments to women

Soda's pretty much only talents are being "pretty" and "good at cars"

He isn't that smart. It's literally canon. And he's also a child at 16.

"But Sandy cheated Des!" In the book, i dont remember where it said Sandy cheated. I know she ran away to Florida. But the whole cheating part i dont really remember that. It's pretty much speculation people made to peg Sandy, a woman only mentioned like ONE or TWO TIMES, a villan. Soda isn't that much better if she even did cheat anyway. Soda regularily called women names, cat call, whistle, flirted. Pretty much was unloyal in different ways. Soda isn't that innocent either.

Steve doesnt fucking hate Ponyboy.

Steve isn't mentioned more than a handful of times anyway

Steve is pretty much described as Soda's best friend, who's gf's name is Evie, and "hates Pony"

He doesn't hate pony.

Coming from the eldest sibling with 5 younger, anyone would get annoyed if their friend's younger sibling would try to tag along everywhere.

He isnt a drop out, and is 16

Another child

Wow

"But Des. Pony literally says Steve hates him." And what i gotta say is; there are 2 sides to every story. Everything you guys say about Steve are pretty much speculation bc you want to villanize someone so bady. Steve is a child/teenager who wants to hang w his best friend and his gf, and his best friends gf without a kid tagging along. And i totally relate. It. Gets. Irritating. Stop villanizing Steve. Hes pretty much the best character.

Two Bit is a 18 year old alcoholic

Who pulls up girl's skirts at movie theaters

Does he even have a gf bc if he did he's definitely a cheater

Twobit is 18 and a jr in hs (wow just like my pos exgf)

He cares about ponyboy and shows it

He blames himself for pony getting sick (even tho that little asshole took a shitton of meds which isnt good)

"But Des! He-" nope. Shut up. TwoBit is a little shit too, he pulled a girls skirt up in public, does that mean him doing a bunch of good shit eliminate him humiliating that girl? Fuck no, he should pay the consequences of his actions. He isn't pure and innocent either, but he isnt a huge fucking dickwad either. He's just insensitive to women's feelings.

DARRY IS 20.

HE IS UNDER A LOT OF STRESS

HE'S BARELY PAYING BILLS

He's worried all the time, Ponyboy sleeping until the middle of the damn night in a fucking lot doesn't make it better.

Should he have slapped him? No. Do i understand on why he did? Yea

I have slapped the shit out of someone for saying something out of line. Ponyboy is a child, he doesnt understand the stress of being an adult, said something, and Dar lost it for a second.

"Darry abused Ponyboy!" No. He didn't. He did not abuse his brother, he provides the necessities, he smacked him ONE TIME. That is not abuse, maybe a small assault, but not abuse. And please refer to the fact, there is pretty much a cake in the fridge everyday that he makes. He works a job roofing houses, he takes care of a brother who dropped out of school and a brother whos going through a quarter life crisis. The man is stressed and tired. But he, of all people, doesn't deserve to be villanized the way y'all are doing. Quit.

"Cherry Valance/Sandy/Sylvia are a bunch of whores who cheated!" Yo, shut the fuck up. Cherry didnt even cheat. She talked to pony and then stopped. She had a reputation to uphold, shes a cheerleader, she has the ideal life. I completely understand on why she stopped, bc in all honesty i would have stopped too if my whole reputation was at stake. I did talk stop talking to a bunch of people bc my reputation and friendships were at stake. Shes also a kid.

Sandy is a teenager who made a mistake/choice if she did cheat. But running away from her problems is something a lot of people do. Ok. I know a lot of people who run away from their problems. Its pretty fucking common.

I DO NOT BLAME SYLVIA FOR CHEATING ON DALLAS. The man is in jail pretty much all of the time, he is bad with communicating his feelings, he's a fucking asshole. He probably cheated on her too, and treated her like shit. Don't villanize Sylvia and treat Dal like some victim of "bad gf syndrome" when they both made mistakes in the relationship.

[imagines-mha]

Seeing as they all have the same birthday, may I please request some headcannons of Kenma, Kirishima, and Tetsutetsu spending their birthdays with their S/O? Like, how they would want to spend it, or what kind of dessert if any. Idk really, cause it’s 2am, but I love you! Thanks!

LMAO their birthday was like,,,, 3 YEARS AGO BRO IM SORRY 😧😧 but it’s atill october therefore it still counts 😤

Kenma, Kirishima and Tetsutetsu spending their birthday with their s/o

Kenma

❤️ He’s a simple child

❤️ He doesn’t want much he wants a cat

❤️ Like really, just get him a few simple things like a cat

❤️ He doesnt even care for his birthday that much but he does care for cats plz get him one

❤️ Fr though he doesn’t care for his birthday that much. Don’t wake him up to give him presents, let him sleep in. He’ll get his presents when he’s ready unless it’s a cat

❤️ He DOES want to spend it with you though, but would rather sit in and just watch movies or some shit rather than go out

❤️ Like,, his dream birthday would be to order some pizza, have some close friends over (including you ofc) and just sit around laughing and talking til bedtime

❤️ LOVES CAKE THO DAMN BUY HIM A HUGE ASS CAKE HE’LL CRY WITH JOY

❤️ he’ll be a little more talkative on his birthday like he pRETENDS he has no care for it but in reality he really does feel like a special boy

❤️ When eveeyone goes home he is 1000% expecting snuggles from you

❤️ He’ll just appear at the door woth a blanket and waddle towards you to climb onto your lap

❤️ He’ll nuzzle up and fall asleep on your shoulder with a small smile after the days all done bc people rlly do care abt him like o damn :,))

Kirishima

❤️ “Honestly babe,, i don’t want much i sWEAR as long as i have you there i don’t need no presents”

❤️ He lovES presents, but he honestly never expects them. If you get him presents, however, he’s gonna cry

❤️ He likes to go out on his birthday. Would LOVE to start it by going out for breakfast with you like that would make his heart melt

❤️ Breakfast is his favourite and he’ll find any excuse to take you out for a breakfast date

❤️ Afterwards you guys would probably go out with all your friends to celebrate

❤️ It’s gonna be BIG i mean it’s kirishima how could it not be big

❤️ Kaminari chooses a karaoke bar and everyone’s immediately on board except bakugo but he secretly loves watching u all embarrass yourselves so he says nth

❤️ Will definitely include:

At least 2 disney love song duets for you and kiri

Another disney love song duet because kami and sero felt left out

Mina taking the stage and giving the entire bar a 5 star dance preformance

Bakugo recording the whole ass thing laughing to himself evilly cus he has sm blackmail

❤️ In conclusion y’all have the best night of your lives and 100% wind up drunkenly stumbling home together at 3am but it’s totally worth it

Tetsutetsu

🖤 Did some1 confuse his birthday 4 valentines day????

🖤 When i say he wants to spend every second of it with you from morning to night i MEAN IT

🖤 Doesnt expect much, like he’ll still try to get up and make breakfast for u but this is ur cue to surprise him with breakfast in bed dude he deserves it

🖤 You bought him one of those offers where y’all can stay in a hotel/ spa for the night so at 12pm you pack your bags for a night of utter luxury

🖤 You arrive at the hotel and quickly settle into your room and HES SO EXCITED IT’S SO PRETTY

🖤 he’s overwhelmed with joy tbh bc he gets to spend a night in a hotel with the one he loves and y’all can just have your OWN time together away from everyone else

🖤 We all know Tetsutetsu’s guilty pleasures are spas. Like it’s his birthday and if u think he’s not going for the full spa treatment u need to think again

🖤 Like i’m talking face malks, massages, jacuzzi, saunas, mani-pedis THE LOT he wants to feel soft and fresh leave him alone

🖤 Afterwards y’all will have dinner then just head back to your room with some champagne to celebrate

🖤 You dk how he manages to still make YOU feel like royalty even on his birthday but he does

🖤 Like he’ll hold you in his arms, giving you kisses and thanking you for giving him such a lovely day

🖤 “i mean...the only thing left to do now is...”

🖤 *gives you the look™️*

🖤 Ya he’s a BIIIIIG fan of birthday sex and he could go all night so good luck bro lmao

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas : The villain’s little hero

Also on AO3! 

TL;DR:  All Might, Japan's number 1 villain has a successor. The problem? His successor is a hero hopeful. All Might will stop at nothing to make sure his kid gets to live his dream.

au where all might is a villain raising izuku to be a hero!

quirkless izuku, his backstory is mostly the same

all might decided that hero work had too much red tape. if he was going to take down afo, he needed the freedom to do whatever he had to and he wasnt getting that working within the law

so hes a,,, viilllaaaiinnn?? like. stain. but less murdery, would also save civilians if they were in danger

he has 0 qualms about crippling fake heroes but hes not a fan of murder

nighteye is still his sidekick, he doesnt use his quirk on allmight bc all might h a t e s it

hes kinda on board with "the future is only set in stone because you've seen it now" so he wants the freedom to break fate. but its very useful to get info, so nighteye just uses it on other people

hero to the people villain to literally everyone else

allmights villain costume is reallll similar to his hero costume. just less eye bleeding

he has longer grey hair too.

all mights bronze age costume is basically his villain costume thanks for listening

david shield is still in this story

david agrees w all might and like,,, sneaks him stuff on the downlow

all might told him ab. his quirk because who on earth is gonna believe that one america man about japans worst supervillain?

also melissa is a Soft Young Woman and she is all mights favourite person on this fucking planet until he meets izuku

all might went to ua, only defected after completing his hero training because he wanted to be trained by the people he was going to screw over

izuku has always kinda been a big fan of all might. not openly because hes legally a villain and very much paints himself as one, but his quirk is one of the most amazing things izuku has ever seen

when he looks closer, all might has never let a civilian get hurt once hes been on scene. hes taken hits to protect housing, hes pulled heroes from the line of fire

izuku watches his sports festivals and wonders why? why did all might, the man who happily told the world he'd stop at nothing to keep them safe, suddenly flip sides like that for no reason?

izuku doesnt buy it

izuku's big yellow backpack is a big red one in this universe, hes had it so long its gone pink but he still loves it

the sludge villain

all might saves him and izuku is crying. allmight thinks its because hes scared but izuku just turns to him with this big weepy eye smile and gives him the most genuine thanks he thinks hes ever been given

(its honestly the shock of that that makes him deflate into small might, which has izuku scrambling to find tissues and called an ambulance before he thinks better of calling emergency services for All Might)

izuku is like "Im SO SORRY SIR ARE YOU oK"

and all might is like ",,, b  oy"

izuku softly asking

"can,, can i still be someone with out a quirk? can i still make a difference?"

all might doesnt get the chance to anser because there is a massive explosion in the distance

its bakugo!! hes dying

the sludge villain got away bc izuku and all might were chatting a little

izuku hears it and he feels this terrible realization, because its probably not bakugo? but its definitely bakugo because izuku's life is falling to pieces

he sprints towards him and katsuki will n e v e r admit it but he feels hope in that moment because some one is trying to help. even if its just izuku, he wasnt totally left for dead

all might sees this tiny, nervous, quirkless kid run straight up to a villain that almost killed him seconds before to save someone what looks like they'd rather die

and he thinks

"no one deserves one for all more than him"

and allmight, the most wanted villain in japan, maybe the world, jumps in

the heroes look at him and they are scared. if they couldnt take the sludge villain, what is all might going to do to them? but the scariest man in japan, the person parents tell their kids about to stop them from going out at night, blows the sludge villain to tiny pieces and carefully, gently, places the two boys by the heroes

before he vanishes before they can call for backup or even ask why

izuku gets yelled at by the heroes because the heroes are scared and angry they couldnt stop either of the villains and izuku is so overwhelmed that hes crying and he can hardly breathe

bakugo doesnt even yell at him because hes so dazed about everything that happened and he cant make himself yell at this sobbing kid that used to be his friend

(bakugo is holding izukus hand like hes going to crush it but its the only thing keeping izuku present)

izuku is walking home and hes still hicuping and crying because he almost died and the heroes hate him and he feels a hand on his shoulder, and a soft :"its ok now my boy"

he knows its all might but he cant help but hide his face in his shirt and sob

all might gets down so he can look izuku in the eye

"you asked me if you could be someone with out a quirk and i didnt get the chance to answer. my answer? you already are someone. you are someone that inspired me, a villain, to save the day. you are going to be amazing"

and looks him dead in the eye "you'll do amazing things, even with out a quirk. but, you of all people deserve one, and no matter what you chose to do with it, it can be yours. hero, villain or someone in between"

izuku looks at this villain

this painfully thin villain, who just saved his life and who has unimaginable strength

and he throws his arms around his waist and sobs

inko isnt a great mum in this au and she likes to basically pretend izuku doesnt exist

izuku trains a lot and has to make his own food bc his mum just ignores him

he sneaks out at night to clear trash and sneaks back in before dawn to clean the sand from his hair

he smells like saltwater and rust, and he hasnt slept more than 4 hours a night in weeks and katsuki is worried

all might sees him crumbling with a smile stuck on his face and he wants to stop him from self-destructing, but the kid will never learn his lesson until he feels his body give up under what hes doing to it. if all might steps in he'll do it again and again until no one stops him and hes never learnt his limit.

so he waits and he watches while he pretends he cant see the bags under his eyes and pretends that everytime izuku sways on his feet he doesnt feel a jolt of deep panic

did he do this? if he the reason izuku looks like hes falling apart before his eyes?

the kid passes the fuck out and all might tells him off in a soft dad way and izuku cries bc why does this villain care more than his mum does

and all might catches the end of that little mumble, and feels terrible so he pretends he didnt hear and takes him for lunch

they go to a cafe and all might buys izuku the cutest slice of cake and a big ass bowl of katsudon and some fancy fucking tea and covers the kids eyes every time he tries to look at the prices

izuku looks at all might and asks

"are you buying me katsudon with crime money"

and all might looks sheepish and izuku giggles like an idiot and says "dont tell me ill feel bad!!!"

all might grins bc this kid is honestly the only reason he hasnt stabbed a pro hero in a few months bc hes so fucking sweet

he has to carry izuku half the way home bc the kid could barely lift his chopsticks and almost fell asleep in the booth after he finished eating

and allmight, skinny and kinda scary is giving his 15 year old a piggy back and someone says "you're such a good dad!" and he almost coughs up his last lung

izuku mumbles sleepily and hes has the biggest warm and fuzzy feeling and hes going to yell bc hes All Might the No. 1 Villain and this fucking kid is drooling on his sweater but he would die for him

some random stranger on the street commenting on how it was rly fortunate that izuku inherited his adorable smile from his father

all might, abt to burst into tears: whack

allmight is easily flustered even when hes killed a man

he comes home and inko isnt there so he has to like, wake up izuku to get him to open the door and he feels bad bc izuku is a Sleepy Man

izuku mumbles that he cant ever tell if shes at home or not because nothing changes and all might feels a wave of "wait my son isnt being parented enough"

so he makes izuku a cup of tea and tucks him into bed after he has a shower because izuku is His Son Now Inko

hes like

sitting in the living room reading the paper and he hears inko's car and hes like ",,, fuck it im walking out the front door im no coward"

she doesnt even notice and hes going to scream because does she have a brain

inko, spaced out, tired and terrible: oh is the tall man here for izuku :))) thats great :)))

all might is screaming bc"" do you get let weird men into see your tiny son>???? what the fuck???

hes so small inko??? and you?? let random men in?????

all might would yeet her into the sun if he could but his boy needs an actual family member to make going to ua easier

inko is kinda mentally ill. she is depressed and often forgets she has izuku. like shes not always being terrible she just sometimes forget to do basic things

one time she locked izuku out of the house for 10 hours and he had to sleep next to the front door

one month she didnt buy any food so by the end of it he was starving and out of his own money and there was n o t h i n g in the house, but inko would go out to eat every night and lunch and not take her son

allmight is upset bc izuku didnt tell him but izuku is embarrassed. embarrassed that he was forgotten by his own mum, that he couldnt do anything to help her or himself and honestly mad he was so hungry all might noticed bc he didnt want to bug him

it was getting to the point that katsuki actually slipped some change into his bag with a candy bar

[tumblunni]

Today's random mood is soft thoughts about my headcanon of McKraken being Squisker's adopted nephew before things went wrong

* Squisker was the very beloved mayor of the springdale yokai realm, which i am choosing to call Springdoom until we get a canon name, yes. He was 100% a good dude and Mckraken falsely accused him of the crimes that got him imprisoned away in the infinate inferno, in an attempt at a coup to take his power and begin his anti human warfare. But also i think itd be saddest if Mckraken did genuineky care for his uncle, and he'd just become so carried away in his obsession for revenge that he started getting paranoid that all his loved ones were plotting against him. He's probably haunted every day by what he did and after his redemption the first thing he did was fight his way thru the inferno to set right what he'd done wrong!

* They first met when Squisker was just idly visiting the human world and stumbled upon a baby yokai all curled up and scared in the wreckage of a beach destroyed by an oil spill. Originally he just wanted to help the kid get to the yokai world and find a new family, but then the lil guy called him "unca" and his heart(s) were totally melted! It kinda helped give the old man a reason to live again, during a very melancholy time of his life.

* Imagine babby mckraken sleeping in the sink cos he is just a smol squiddy and does not understand fancy society yet. "But why would you have a tiny pond thats not for sitting in!" Squisker introduces him to the concept of beds and he's initially very suspicious of this strange land rock. But then he bounces up and down on it and its just like waves! Its a magical sea land hybrid!!

* Various funny circumstances of squisker being this fancy politician man and trying to introduce a feral sea child to high society. Even funnier if the rules of yokai high society are wildly different to humans, like you have to hold every single fancy fork simultaneously in your tentacles! Possibly some cute moment where the kid's innocent 'but why' questions get squisker to realize he's being all stuffy and fancy when its not really necessary, and maybe itd be fun to loosen up and enjoy himself?

* Melancholy episode where babby mckraken keeps trying to adopt fishies from the human world and bring them home to protect them. Squisker has trouble explaining that mortals cant survive for long in the underworld, which would require first explaining to this poor kid what death is and that he's dead...

* maybe possibly one of those fish does come back as a yokai decades later when mckraken is all grown up, and pledges eternal loyalty to him for the kindness he showed as a child? And thats the backstory of that one fish boat boss dude everyone forgets.

* Headcanon of maybe mckraken's signature inspiriting power is 'colourlessness' or 'nothingness'? He can drain energy out of stuff with his weird hand mouths and it turns black and white. And perhaps for maximum angst the reason Mckraken himself is colourless is because that day his paranoia overtook him and he betrayed his closest family member, he used his own powers on himself to erase his emotions enough to be able to silence those doubts...

* Alternative headcanon is just that turning colourless is somethibg that naturally happens to yokai who lose all hope. Supported mostly just by the fact whisper is a notable white yokai who isnt part of The White Yokai, and also his backstory form had more colour and that backstory was really damn tragic...

* Oh and Squisker only attacks you in the infinate inferno because he's gone mad from rage and grief and just attacks everything indiscriminately. This is actually canon to his japanese medallium entry! (Though him being a good guy before being imprisoned and him being a father figure to mckraken is all speculation)

* so imagine a post redemption mckraken teaming up with you to try and recsue his uncle from the prison he put him in, ans its super depressing when he gets to squisker's cell and sees he's so far gone theyre gonna have to fight him. And maybe some sort of scene of him shielding you from one of squisker's attacks and getting heavily wounded, to prove how he really is legit about earning his redemption?and its this moment of kindness that makes squisker recognise this is his nephew, and come back to his senses. And i can just imagine mckraken weeping because what right do i have to be forgiven? You stupid old man, youre way too naive! Sobbing and hugging him and in his eyes squisker can see the sad young child he adopted so long ago, finally free of the chains of hatred he'd destroyed himself with. And then theyd go back together to the town and of course all the citizens woukd be like HOLY SHIT SQUISKER'S BACK, WE'RE SORRY WE DIDNT BELIEVE YOU, OH GOD MCKRAKEN TRIED TO TAKE OVER THE HUMAN WORLD and they immediately wanna elect him back to his old position. But Squisker insists on letting mckraken back into the town and giving him a second chance as his chairman, as well as his nephew. Claims its just because 'oh well ive been gone so long, i need someone who knows more about modern politics'. And probably works his ass off to clear his nephew's name and convince everyone that mckraken did what he did because of his love for this city, even if it was wrong it proves that he has a good heart and you should let him have a second chance! Aaand its hard to disagree i guess when the guy most affected by mckraken's takeover is also the one arguing for his redemption! The whole time mckraken is probably grumping about trying to deny it all and being like 'no put me in the prison its what i deserve NO I DO NOT HAVE ANY REDEEMING TRAITS DAMMIT'

* anyway i just like stories about broken families trying again, even if they cant be exactly how they used to be, as long as they both want to be a famuly again then they can be something new thats equally as good.

* also cute squid dad slice of life adventures is probably the most blessed sentence in the english language

* imagine babby mckraken always hiding shyly behind squisker cos he's never met any other yokai before and he doesnt know how to make friends with the other kids. But i dunno, maybe squisker is like 'youre such a bright young child you can help the others learn to swim!' or some other case of finding something he's good at and encouraging it as a way to bond with others. Oh maybe Mckraken's cooking skills started with learning to cook with his uncle and bringing snacks to school and all the other kids would be jealous? So he just sorta ended up with a tendancy to make food for people, which stuck around even when he turned evil. Still gotta open every evil meeting with sake and sushi! Gotta nag your minions that theyre not eating enough and they need to take care of their health! Gotta spend eighty hours decorating an elaborate layer cake as stress relief from dealing with that lousy human kid. Now grab a plate and sit yer asses down, you damn layabouts! Youre gonna cherish every mouthful, god dammit!! Also he totally wears lil oven mitts on all his tentacles.

This has been a miscellaneous ramble of squid redemptions, goodnight y'all

[simplyaiden-blog]

5,11,25

YAY!!! Thanks so much for the ask @foghedgehog!!!

okay here we go...

5) talk about your best birthday...

So my very very best birthday was my 15th birthday.  Traditionally, as a hispanic, I was supposed to have a quinceanera.  However, my mom told me that I had two options: Either have a traditional quinceanera or a 1 week cruise to Alaska.  This was a no-brainer.  Choose travel every time. It was breathtaking, and just seeing the 24 hour sunlight was something else and really messed with my internal clock.  

Second best birthday was my first year of grad school.  I had only known these people for about a month and this one girl threw me a surprise party and baked me a cake.  At this point in my life, I hadnt known such generosity or care.  And it will touched me.

11) talk about your best dream...

So my obsession with Michiel Huisman is pretty well known in this fandom.  So of course he would be a part of my best dream. @tmarie82 knows about this dream cause i immediately told her about it haha.  Anyway, i had a dream that my fiance and I met Michiel and he thought we were really cool and gave us his number so that we could hang out since Michiel lives in NYC and so do I, it could totally happen (I even took a picture of it cause I was floored).  At first we, thought he was being nice, but when we actually called the number, it was real! and we legitimately hung out and had the best time. My fiance later got accused of murder because of some suitcase left at the scene, but Michiel and I were his alibis and he vouched for my fiance.�� Besides the whole murder thing, just being able to hang out with Michiel made it the best dream ever! and hey, my fiance didnt go to prison, so cheers to that! haha

25) talk about your ex-best friend

so this is gonna be a really long one, so prepare.  When I was eleven, my house burned down.  my family had to move and therefore, I had to change schools.  Pretty much the whole first year, I had no friends.  I mean, I had classmates that i got along with and would only call me to help them with homework but nothing else. Then, in 7th grade, and I met let’s call her Cami.  We became fast friends.  We became best friends in fact and did everything together.  I thought we were gonna make it. But by Junior year, the proverbial shit hit the fan.  I will start off by saying that our friend group was made up of three girls and mostly guys (guys who were as they say nerds, who had no experience with women).  And Cami started to flirt and hang out in a romantic setting with one of those said friends.  He fell hard and fast.  This was the first girl that ever paid him any attention.  However, unbeknownst to him, she was also seeing another guy, a year above us.  That year, our class organized a sadie hawkins youth fair outing.  She asked me what she should do.  I told her that i thought she shouldnt go because either of them were gonna find out and they were gonna be hurt.  She didnt listen to me, chose the guy in the year above and of course, I was right.  our friend found out and was pissed.  He started being rather snippy with her and giving her attitude and she wasnt having it.  She couldnt understand why he was mad (like seriously?! he thought you were into him! you completely led him on, what did you think was gonna happen?!) Anyway, I tried to tell her that she should just suck it up because she deserved it, in which she proceeded to say that he needed to get over it.  Flash forward to her seriously dating the guy in the year above, but the guy was a pretentious, condescending, high brow blow hard.  And she was becoming just like him.  So, as her BFF I had the audacity to tell her that I didnt like him and she needed to be careful because she was alienated everyone including our friend group.  She didnt listen and proceeded to not talk to me for an entire month as punishment.  I bit the bullet and sent her a card apologizes and letting her know I would always be there for her.  She forgave me.  However, around the same time, our other girl friend (let’s call her Kat) got a BF and they started doing all this stuff together like going on double dates and not including me.  I’d only find out about these outings at lunch the next day while they talked about it amongst themselves. This went on for months.  So, I tried to branch out and hang out with other girls.  Things were going well, until Kat’s BF cheated on her with one of the girls I was hanging out with (what are the odds, right?)  Of course I eventually get the call to let me know the situation.  I told Kat that I understood what her BF and this girl did was messed up but that I wasnt gonna stop hanging out with this group because of one mistake, especially after they had let me into their group when Cami and Kat essentially neglected and abandoned me. Kat understood.  Cami, on the otherhand, proceeded to use this opportunity to show Kat what a better friend she was to Kat by always playing the victim how the group I was hanging out with were treating her badly.  I naively would say things like “oh, they’ve been perfectly nice to me” “oh, well that’s because you didnt choose a side” stuff like that.  Then, during superlatives, I was nominated, most likely to succeed.  I overheard her say to another person that “just because someone gets good grades, doesnt mean they are gonna succeed.  I mean just look at me, I have all these patents and copyrights, im gonna be way more successful than her” (I was 2 rows ahead of her, and she was supposed to be my BFF).  Everything turned into a competition and she kept trying to show that she was better than me.  Even when she found out I was going to a community college instead of an ivy league or private unversity like she was (even though, i was doing a special program that allowed to me to transfer to those same schools but for FREE).  I was done.  I knew it was gonna be an ugly breakup if I said anything, so I just bit my tongue until we graduated.  I havent seen or spoken to her since, and were not even friends on social media. Though she did teach me how to look out for such behavior and to be a better judge of character.  So, i guess I can thank her for that.

told you it was gonna long. Sorry!

BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!!! This was fun!!

GIVE ME MORE GUYS!!!

[sadiiomane10]

Liverpool FC as Cakes part 1

#thecakeseries in honour of my genius and wonderful anon who deserves the world, all credit goes to them bc they literally came up with all of this and they are amazing, thanks for talking to me and being the founder of this amazing thing yall better appreciate this post for them istg 

disclaimer ive tasted like none of these cake i dunno what the fuck im talking about, dont take it serious, its not meant to be 

aight so kloppo is banoffee 

the banana fits w his bvb side 

and the toffee is obvs lfc cus we get ourselves stuck in all sorts of dumb situations

im lookin at u defence 

plus it matches his hair colour

emre can is toffeeee

“cus we all wanna get stuck him”- ancient proverb by anon the literal genius 

thats it, thats the main reason

hes sweet and delicious as hell, i mean i dont actually kno but he looks it

who doesnt want a piece of emre can is the real question here 

the cake is tan, he is tan, thicccc afff

EMRE CAN IS JUST A WALKING TOFFEE CAKE YALL

Sadio Mane as Black Forest 

do u literally see any difference??? no, me either

both badass and sweet as hell

literally no one can resist 

supermane is literally the cherry on top of this team and its so good

Ben as Chocolate Cupcake 

tiny and smol, so good and hard to resist 

full of all the good stuff

both actual babies too good for this world, too pure, 

seeing ben play is like enjoying a chocolate cupcake its totally fitting 

both babiessss just like a cupcake to an actual cake, and ben woodburn in the senior team

NATHANIEL CLYNE IS RAINBOW CAKE 

THIS ONE IS MY FAVE GOODBYE

cus he my life and a sunshine and the brightest thing and he needs all the love

AND HES UNDERAPPRECIATED prolly like rainbow cake 

rainbows are full of love, and im full of love for him, and he is perfection, 

he needs more love

James Milner as Red Velvet (this all started cus of james milner, it is entirely his fault)

i literally see no difference between him and the cake 

he was born to play in red, he looks the best in this colour

 i find red velvet a lil bland which totes fits w the ‘boring james milner’ persona

plus some people love him some people dont, totally like red velvet

both very pretty to look at 

Trent is Charlotte Cake 

because HE IS TOO IS SMALL AND FILLED WITH AMAZING THINGS (im talking about talent) 

He is also v pretty like the cake 

if anyone deserves a good cake its trent, cus hes the best bean and we all love him 

Momo as Ginger Spice

have u seen him play

this dude got something in his locker bruh and its full of spice and magic

i would die for this man, look at him hes an actual angel on earth, 

the icing represents his beard, 

ginger cake is warm and fluffy and good just like him, 

Studge as Chocolate 

SWEET AS HELL AND NAUGHTY AS SHIT

studge is cheeky just like when u eat chocolate cake and make sure no one sees

uve heard of cheeky nandos w the boys,now get ready for cheeky chocolate cake and a slice of daniel sturridge ;)

literally no one can be chocolate cake cus its studge and no matter what we will always love him 

Couti is Chocolate Mousse (this happened before he fucked us over)

 bc he’s tiny, delicious and makes everyone happy, 

also high key magical and fluffy

 smol but magical and everyones guilty pleasure,

 everyone wants a piece of couti (ykno back before he stabbed us in the heart and make us all sick,

 we had to much chocolate mousse and this is our punishment 

good enough that to give us a heart attack 

loris karius as angel cake 

hes an actually looks like a fucking angel goodbye

like bobby, why isnt bobby angel cake idk

is angel cake as pretty as loris??? no it isnt

i would chose to eat loris over angel cake anyday who said that not me

im to distracted by that picture to even write a description bye

adz is strawberry

A TINY SMOL FLUFFBALL

PRETTY AS HELL

SOOOO GOOD

like we often forget about stawberry cake but when we have it we love it

a bit like adz not playing and then surprising us w his cruyff turns again and his quick feet

if lallama was a fruit he would literally be a stawberry, so smollll

s/o to my anon, they came up w literally all the cakes, give them all the love

link to part 2 

[natural--trash]

Tag thing, wanted to do it for some time but now im at my comp and stuff so uh yeah anyways

Rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people

I was tagged by @fluffyliontae

Name: tsu (just call me that, or susu or smth yknow)

Blood type: A-

Nickname(s): susu, mym

R/s: single

Zodiac Sign: libra

Pronouns: eh whatever, on some days its he > she > they but it can also be a diff order so yeah seriously whatever floats your boat

Favorite TV Shows: W - Two Worlds (same), a Persona 5 anime could be one of them but there’s none

Long or short hair: long

Height: 162cm or so

Do you have a crush on someone: romantic none, aesthetic ones? squishes? hoo boy

What do you like about yourself: my eyes, that cute scar on my hand

Right or left handed: right

List of three favorite colors: too many, i mostly like colour combos, but light blue, black and #540003 i guess

RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing, i had brownie ritter sport a bit earlier tho

Drinking: water

I’m about to: draw

Listening to: Believer - Imagine Dragons

Kids: 0

Get married: nah

Career: I want money

MOST RECENT

Drink: water

Phone call: i think my uncle??

Song you listened to: before Believer there’s Bonfire on my spotify playlist but rn its Queen by History

HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: nah

Been cheated on: thats a long story

Kissed someone and regretted it: dont think so

Lost someone special: hmm

Been depressed: yeah

Been drunk and thrown up: never drunk alcohol

Kissed a stranger: nope

Had glasses or contacts: yeah

Had sex on the first date: nope

Broken someone’s heart: not that im aware of it

Turned someone down: kinda??

Cried when someone died: yeah

Fallen for a friend: im aro, that doesnt work

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yes

Fallen out of love: no

Laughed until you cried: yes

Met someone who changed you: mhhh dont think so?

Found out who your true friends were: kinda (I’m sorry that I’m always answering like this omg)

Found out someone was talking about you: cant remember

Kissed someone on your fb list: i dont use fb

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kisses: hugs

Shorter or taller: taller

Romantic or spontaneous: platonic

Sensitive or loud: sensitive

Hookup or relationship: friendship

Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

FIRST

Best friend: have conatct with both or them but we’re not as close? although I still don’t mind lying/rolling around on his floor

Surgery: does removing my wisdom teeth count? (does it?)

Sport: swimming (I wish I hadn’t stopped)

Vacation: Turkey

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: depends on the day (same)

Miracles: yeah

Love at first sight: i dont rly believe in romantic love, but other than that yeah has flashbacks to when x impulse bought a ps vita

Heaven: i want to

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: i still dont use fb

Do you have any pets: i used to have a duck

Do you want to change your name: yeah kinda i’d prefer something gender neutral

What did you do for your last birthday: i played video games at home bc i have no friends

What time did you wake up today: idk, fell asleep again

What were you doing last night at midnight: internet

Something you can’t wait for: when i move out

Last time you saw your mom: some minutes ago

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: how my brain is sometimes

Have you ever talked to a person named tom: yeah, had a classmate with that name

What’s getting on your nerves: loud noises in the morning, often ppl i dont consider as friends

instructions: You can tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to. Put your music on shuffle and list the first 10 songs, then tag 10 people. No skipping.

(should i do the whole thing?? ok lemme get my phone pls note that i havent gotten the p5 ost yet)

Obtained a Berry! - DP OST

actually there comes some more Nintendo OST

Awake -BTS

Young Forever (unplugged ver) - BTS

crow tit (jpn) - bts

Mein Block - Sido

We don’t talk anymore - Jungkook

a song i do not remember what it was

Faint - Linkin Park

La la La - naughty boy

i think its time to make a new playlist bc i dont listen to some pop songs anymore

so uh yeah the whole thing it is

5 things you’d find in my bag:

tissues, a shit ton

wallet

probably some paper

charger

phone

5 things you’d find in my bedroom:

desk

clothes

stuffed animals

bed

my computer

5 things i always wanted to do in life:

Travelmore

Get a job i love

Own a cat

Get a life I like

Have ppl I’m close with that are not far away

5 things i’m currently into:

video games

persona 5, fire emblem heroes (they deserve their own point)

kpop

art

ummm edgesthetic?

5 things on my to do list:

go to a BTS concert

get a part time job

learn Japanese and perhaps Korean and get better at French

visit all the countries I still want to go to

get better at drawing

5 things people may not know about me:

I would love to study video game development but I’m too scared of what’s after that plus there’s no way I’ll get accepted hahaha

i love min yoongi and his mixtape bc he idk he helped me think that maybe not everything in my life will be shitty later and that maybe I’ll be able to be happy one day

I’m currently in a more down phase

i have problems with my sense of reality

i have a cute scar on my hand

Top 10 BTS Songs Tag:

  House Of Cards (Full Length Edition)

  House Of Cards [OUTRO]

  Good Day

No order from here on

4. I NEED U (Japanese Ver.) 5. FOR YOU 6. 쩔어 (Dope) 7. 등골브레이커 (Spine breaker) 8. 24/7 = Heaven 9. Blood Sweat & Tears 10. Not Today

I have time

10 groups/artists you like besides Kpop/liked before Kpop:

nqrse ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Fall Out Boy

Panic! at the Disco

DAOKO ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Casper

Die Ärzte

I think that’s it

DAT ADAM

uhh I liked Abingdon Boys School at some point

idk the old Sido songs aint bad?

10 favorite non-kpop songs:

ダイスキ - DAOKO

BANG! - DAOKO

Das Grizzly Lied - Casper

パラサイト(Parasite) - nqrse feat.まふまふ,luz  

ECHO - まふまふ (mafumafu) feat.nqrse

p much any song sung by nqrse im sorry im trash hmu and ill link you some good stuff

Believer - Imagine Dragons

Bonfire - Felix Jaehn, ALMA

Die Vergessenen 1/2 - Casper

omg i totally forgot about OSTs Toberu Mono from The Last Stiry, too much from Persona 5 liek Beneath the Mask, Last Surprise etc

10 favorite movies:

i don’t watch enough :c

10 favorite tv shows, including anime & cartoons:

W - Two Worlds

Acchi Kocchi

Psycho Pass

I’m giving up

10 things you enjoyed before kpop/enjoy besides kpop, that won’t fit in the lists above:

music

art

video games

esp atlus n nintendo games!!

cute soft stuffed animals

flight rising

sarma

collecting cute key charms

collecting cute things in general

dancing

ten tag last movie you watched: i dont know

last song you listened to:  that one song mentioned above by Daoko

last show you watched: I Hear Your Voice

last book you read: Der Vorleser by Bernhard Schlink, don’t read it

last thing you ate: chocolate

if you could be anywhere in the world right now where would you be: Tokyo

when would you time travel to: itll be spontaneous

first thing you would do with lottery money: buy a loft

character you would hang out with for a day: P5 Protagonist

time right now: 23:52

the ‘or’ tag

build a snowman with v OR have a snowball fight with j-hope

get coffee with suga OR get ice cream with suga

go to the cinema with jimin OR the amusement park with jungkook

do a dance cover with j-hope OR sing a duet with jin

kiss rap monster OR cuddle suga

babysit with jimin OR dogsit with v

meet j-hope’s family OR have v meet your family

film a commercial with j-hope OR film a sketch with v

hug jimin OR hold hands with jungkook

go to paris with jin OR go to london with suga (sorry been to paris already)

film a drama with jin OR do a photo shoot with rap monster

attend an award show with rap monster OR wear couple t-shirts at the airport with jungkook

spend a lazy day with suga OR explore a city with j-hope

fall asleep next to jimin OR wake up next to jungkook

make up a silly rap with v OR a silly choreography with jin

have a fun picnic with j-hope OR a fancy date with jin

have jungkook serenade you OR have v sing you to sleep

have a dance party with j-hope OR sing karaoke with suga

go camping with jimin and v OR go to the beach with rap monster and suga

cook with jin AND bake a cake with jimin

have a sleepover with the hyung line OR a birthday party with the maknae line

celebrate halloween with jungkook, suga, v and j-hope OR christmas with rap monster, jimin and j-hope

rules: answer the questions with the first letter of your name, then tag 10 people. If the person who tagged you has the same initial, you must use different answers. you cannot use the same word twice.

What is your name? - Tsu

A four letter word? - text

A boy’s name? - Tom

An occupation? - tailor

Something you wear? - t-shirt

A color? - turquoise

A food? - tomato

Something you find in the bathroom? - toilet

A place? - Tokyo

A reason for being late? - traffic

Something you shout? - yells

A movie title? - something that starts with “the”

Something you drink? - tea

An animal? - turtle

A type of car? - tesla

Title of a song? - Tage wie diese - die toten hosen

I’m,,, maybe later @mama-kisu @metroid-fr (you can do the non kpop stuff) eh whoever wants i guess

[chickenstuffedwithmozzarella]

Hello! I'm going to start answering the old ask first and then the one about the show, okay? Last week was busy? Because of Mother's Day? Or something else? I dont know if i have to cheer you up saying "dont worry, this week everything is going to go back to normal", or if i shouldnt because that will mean you'll get bored at work🙊 Did you brought the ballons finally? (1)

HIIII LOVE!!!! Ufffff, I didn’t realized Mother’s Day meant May was starting,jajajaja. May is our August. We have A LOT of places to go to make candy bars, do you know what it is? Well, we put it on communions, weddings… and we have a couple every weekend. So we make the things we put on the bar during the week. It’s a lot of work for all of us, but it’s the month we make the most money,jajajaja, so 🤷🏻‍♀️.I FORGOT the balloons 🤦🏻‍♀️😔. I totally did. I didn’t think about them till a bit before the show started, lol. It would have been so cool, but I totally forgot.  

U didnt go to a lot of concerts? Dont say that! I’ve only gone to 2/3 shows. Not much. & much less this days, with so many festivals. Oh, yeah. Ed came some years ago, but i was too young. Uh, i feel u, the sale of the tickets was crazy. Like, we were supposed to go to see him in Mdd, and we ended up in Bcn, & with another kind of ticket, not the one we had agreed to buy. But totally worth it!! I know he has a reputation for being tedious and repetitive, but his sound live is not like that. (2)

Oh, there are so many concert and festivals these days. I guess I never was a kid to ask my parents for a lot of things, and I never really had someone who I liked enough to ask to go concerts,so 🤷🏻‍♀️. But I love concerts. The ambient… well, I already told you,jajaja. It feels like you’re around your people, or at least to me, bc I don’t know anyone in real life who likes the same music as I. And I loved it the time in the line,jajja. It was like we were camping. I don’t know, jajaja, it felt right. Ed has that reputation? I dididnt know about it. I’ve see a couple of videos, and I found it so difficult what he does,jajja, with the guitar and the pedal he uses to record his voice and all that.

HAHAHAHA. I am laughing because now you have not only managed to find a Larrie at Harrys’s show, but also at Niall’s!! Either there’s many of us, or you are a Larrie Magnet😂 How can i do the same?? Show me. She keeps up because i have tumble, and her bffs also have tumblr and twitter and they share the news on the groupchat. I mean, she doesnt know everything (no one does) but we tell her the important things.(3)

Jajajajajja, I think I’m s larrie-magnet,🤣🤣🤣. Hey, you have your own larrie-pal at home, what more do you need??? Jajaja. (I have my own anti at home, so…). You tell her important things??? I hope you’ve tell her about Louis last night!!  Jajajja mymy, did you see him??? I missed him so much. He looked so good. And he’s so good. Ay, I could cry,bc he deserves a lot better from everyone, from life… You know “hay gente que nace con estrella, y gente que nace estrellada”? Well, I always think that about Louis. He never gets it right. But I really hope the future holds only good things for him. :/Well, your sister and her friends sound more organized than me, jajajajjaja. I’m now in a group chat, ajajaja, we’ll see how that works, or if I have Togo out bc they talk too much,jajajaja (I’m old, my phone ringing too much, makes me cranky🤣🤣🤣🤣👵🏻)

Yes, men suits tend to be more boring. Harry need to do something, but at the same time, dont. Harry + red carpets + cool suits + HQ pictures = my dead. Oh wow. You really are half-witch. JAJAJAJAA. Me as your sister trying to take profit of your hability. Isnt she smart?😂😂 did you really guess the birth of the little girl? How? (Can you guess the end of BG too? Pls end it). Oh! Okay, i get it now. He sounds pretty special then. (4)

Jajjaja jajajja, that’s true (I sometimes say things that louis (mostly) has said, jajaja, and that’s true is his response to Harry’s “the wind make nice waves”, jajajja, so read it with Louis’ voice😝). See?i almost had a heart attack yesterday when I saw Louis in a suit,jajajja.Well, she’s always looking at ways to make money of everything,jajja (no she doesn’t, but she does it more than me). I don’t know how,jajaja, we were making a “porra” and I thought that+and that+and that… it was more a guess, than a prediction, jejejeje. And I can’t control my predictions, they usually happen in my dreams. I wish I could end it. I’ve been wishing for it to end blowing my birthday candles for years, jajaja (and I can’t believe it’s been years 🤦🏻‍♀️)

Gay parade? JAJAJAJA. Listen, but why? Why would u take a cake to a parade? Do ppl usually do that? I’ve never seen it. Uuuh. Yes. Of course we are queer because its trendy, thats what we, dumb&young people do. Of couse. Being hated because of that is so cool!! I hate that logic. Uh. Not all changes are bad, and just bcs you dont see LGTB+ people doesnt mean they dont exist. I’m so sorry you had to stand that while you couldnt even yell at him! And you cake didnt deserve that insult either. (5)

Yeah, I don’t know his logic, but I guess he doesn’t use logic that much when he says things like that. And yeah, I mean, if you’ve never been hated for something like that, it can be hard to imagine. But also, I hate people who doesn’t care about their surroundings, y'know. I might never felt hated because my color skin (I’m white), but I know dark-skinned people suffer for it. So I’ll attend at whatever they say. And if I can make something to alleviate their pain or help them, I try to do it, y'know. But I can’t with people who only knows their own reality and doesn’t care to learn about the rest. (I don’t know if I’m making any sense bc I’ve been writing this sentence for a couple of hours,lol)

Oh no. She wasnt kind. It was meant to show me that she thinks i am to annoying and political, but i dont mind. It is what it is. What i found sad is that it wasnt even a boy who said that but a girl, but well. Whatever. Oh nono. Dont worry. I was just complaining because thats what i live for. I enjoy learning, but not this way. Anyway, it’s just one month and then summer!! I dont know if i will be working or not, but either way, it’s a great perspective. (6)

I feel like I have to say hi again, lol. I started writing yesterday (Tuesday) in the morning and now is Wednesday night 😒. May is so busy at the shop. And to add to that, today at 8am my cousin’s mom called me because he had woke up at 5am. He has a sleeping disorder, and sometimes he wakes up at 4-5am and he doesn’t go back to sleep. And I’m there for those days (bc the parents has to go to work, obviously). Anyway, I have to answer you now bc tomorrow will be busy too. I have to go to the shop to help my sister, bc we have TOO much to do.

Well, she doesn’t sound very kind. And I don’t know how good of a friend she can be if she says those things to you. And yes, I agree. I don’t like when people thinks like that, but when is a woman… I can’t. It’s like when some women say that “I’m sure she provoked him” when a girl is abused or raped. 😡😡😡.i, than am all for women solidarity, can’t comprehend how women can be “machista” (I can’t find the world in English?).And yeah, I’m the same. I love learning things, but I don’t like to be graded,jajajja. And, a free summer to go on vacation, or just rest, sounds amazing. But also, the money you can make working, sounds amazing, too,jajajjaja. Some people work for a month, and then enjoy the rest 🤷🏻‍♀️.

YEES. I SAW THE PICS. HE WAS SO CUUYTE. AND SMILING. Tought i feel bad because there was a lot of people around him and i dont like it. It gaves me the impression that people treat them as shiw monkeys :(. But anyway, i saw him!! 😍😍😍 Yep. I saw that theories too. Idk anything, but if that’s what he is doing, then i’ll wait. Of course i will. Did fhey really put For You in Pasapalabra? JAJAJAJA. He is trudly successing in life😂 Que nivel! (I sound ironic but I’m really happy internally). (7)

Awwwww, did you see him at that award show??? He is such a good person?? I hate that media doesn’t focus on that side of him. He’s kind, lovely, good amazing hugs, did you see how he kept rubbing her shoulder to keep her calm???? OMG! And,yeah, I hate that there’s always the same people around him, like he was a zoo animal.Yeah, I don’t watch Pasapalabra, but I got to watch it for a moment one day, and they have like this musical minute? And they played For You. I told my brother, and he told me that they play the same song every day for a week or more. So, I’m glad for Liam. He has a very good team behind him.

Surgery? Okay okay. Then i’m not asking, but i’m sending you luck and hugs!!! 🍀💕 I just saw that you did tell me about your irish nails. I must have not read that that day. Ups, sorry. I have finals, yes. I start tomorrow and i finish (if i pass everything at first try) around the 10th of June. I just have to suffer for a few weeks more.🤷 Thanks for asking!! (8)

Thanks love. I haven’t told anyone. Not even my friends know about it yet.

Ohhhhh, you’re in the middle of your exams. I really really wish you the best. That everything goes well, and you stay calm. And I hope you pass everything at your first try, so your summer is a bit longer. 😚😚

[very-cherry]

Hey. Hi. Big fan. I don't watch half of the shows that you reblog, but your enthusiasm is quality. Um.. this is super personal, so I totally understand if you don't answer, but how did you realise you were nb?

omg im so sorry you have sat through my tags for this long, buddy you deserve better lmao. but no this is super okay to talk about, and ya its personal but im alright with it bc sometimes its nice to talk about?? like its a lot easier to explain over here rather than to my family (rip) but yeah i can get into it. um, itll be under the cut tho bc its a long answer, so if my other followers (or people who may get triggered) dont wanna read like ya theres that

the short answer: i realised last year, bc of everything that piled up and me finally finding the time to sit down and Think About It.

(tl;dr: at the bottom if youre not here for the Super Long answer)

the long answer: gender had never come easily to me as a kid, like i understood that girls played with dolls and that boys played with trucks. but i also was raised in a family where girls could play with trucks too, as long as they still looked like girls. so from the get go i had a v “tomboyish” look about me, and how i presented myself. i found i was v comfy with the tomboy label growing up, bc it meant i could play with the boys but still be sensitive and emotional while the boys werent allowed to feel like that

my biggest stepping stone tbh was (is) my mother. now if youve followed me for a while you probably know that while my mother loves me, and i suppose i love her (still up in the air), our relationship is v v v v Tense. this is due mostly to the fact that she has this preconceived notion of what the world looks like, and how people should act and present themselves. for her, to have me as a child saying “i wanna dress like a boy” “i wanna be a boy” was no biggie bc i was Just A Kid and would grow up to flourish into a beautiful young woman. which, for the most part, i did. but that doesnt mean i enjoyed it. from the age i was allowed to dress myself, my mother and i would fight about my clothing choices (and i literally mean fight. she would refuse to take me somewhere if i didnt dress the way she wanted. would throw my own clothes at me or on the road outside our house etc) and she would dub my clothes “too casual” and tell me to “dress up” and “look a bit more girly, please?” which i now know is totally Gross and not v nice, but at the time i didnt know any better, i hadnt grown into myself. this, alongside many years of condemnation in regards to my interests and hobbies and things i just enjoyed and wanted to talk about, just Didnt Add Up to my mother. she loved having two pretty daughters, pretty daughters who could wear dresses and live out the life she couldnt bc she fell pregnant with my older sister at 19, and thus had to grow up v quickly (no blame on my sister tho, shes my favourite person in the world and shes trying v hard to understand me and loves me v much)

fast forward a couple years: i was 15 when i first developed my eating disorder. quite frankly, it was only upon realising that im nb as to how i figured out what my ed was Actually About. i didnt like my curves. i didnt like being “girly”. i did constant misguided ab workouts and ate three rice cakes for lunch, followed by nothing but a banana until dinner. my sleep patterns were hit and miss bc i would either write away the pain or stay up wondering what this Thing i was feeling was (spoiler: it was dysphoria). i tried super hard to love my curves, to own myself and how i looked, but it never felt Right. i never understood. i would see my psychologist and ramble about my ed and she would pinpoint it and say it was curves and i would always just say “but its not”. bc it wasnt Just Curves, it was the idea as a whole. and it was v confusing and scary, so much like my exploration into my sexuality, i just put it off.

it was combating my ed that helped me most, i think. it was getting over it, and forcing myself back into a natural sleep pattern (so i could actually do year 12 without wrecking myself). i didnt get over it until around april 2016, which was when i fell in love with the idea of self love, and decided to give it a go. i listened to my psychologist, and she was v patient with me, and was cautious with where i placed my blame (”yes its your mothers fault for making you react and feel this way, her words hurt you. but youre the one that decides what to do with that negativity”) and it was so so so helpful. she taught me that i was deserving of love, and positivity, and that loving youself is a process, and it doesnt always work the way you want it to, but you need to find what makes you happy and keep doing that. for me, that tied into my food, my talents, my friends, and my actions. im not going to sit here and claim that fitness is key to happiness, but its part of whats key to mine (to the point that i have been inspired to become a personal trainer and teach other people that being “healthy” isnt just about food and exercise). each person has their own individual things that keep them balanced, and if yours is painting your nails instead of doing sit ups fucking go for it - just make sure you find that thing, because it gives you clarity.

my clarity hit me in the beginning of year 12, when i Sat Down and really had a think. i thought back to how i wanted to look growing up, how i wanted to act, i remembered the day i first had a proper bra bought for me instead of a crop top and the way i cried for hours that night without knowing why. i remember not wearing shirts to bed and then suddenly feeling awful when i started having to. i remembered trying to wear boxer shorts and nothing else around the house and being yelled at. i remembered telling my dad i wanted to look how he did when he was 18, and yelling at him when he said “but dont you want to be pretty like your mum”. i remembered my sister cutting my hair in the dead of night in her bedroom, bc i didnt want to look the way i did. i remembered wearing all these oversized clothes to hide my chest. being uncomfortable when anyone (family or stranger) would say “lady”, “girl”, “miss”, “female”. shrinking into myself when someone pointed out my curves. looking in thw mirror and only smiling when my hands were covering and pushing my chest. looking at the scale and not seeing anything other than a number that meant i was stuck being curved. refusing to go swimming bc it meant having to wear a bikini instead of just board shorts. wanting to play on the mens basketball team, wearing mens clothes, being mad when i suddenly couldnt wear them anymore. overcompensating by wearing midriffs and muscle shirts and short shorts and lacy underwear to impress my boyfriend(s) bc i was their GIRLfriend and this is what I Needed To Do. wearing clothes around my first girlfriend that i was really comfortable in, and her telling me that im still nb even if i have to wear a bra for now, and that she wouldnt ever take my shirt off or act as if my chest ever existed if thats what would keep me comfortable, and me nearly crying bc of how validating and overwhelming it was.

it all hit me at once, and i was struck with the blatant honesty of what this had been all along. id ignored it and shoved it down bc i didnt want to upset my mother, disappoint her. i didnt want to be what she never wanted. but then i remembered that i am deserving of love, even if its only ever from myself. 

so i told my best friend, and she was so wonderful with it, and she asked what pronouns i wanted to use from now on, and she helped me ease into shopping for clothes. and i bought a binder, and it fits v well and i fucking love it. and i told my other friends, and all the ones who matter are v supportive and beautiful (one even offered to make me a suit). and i told my two favourite cousins, and my sister, and they make sure to text me that i should stretch when i wear my binder, or to take deep breaths in case i forget to and its v homey and nice and they want me to be happy. and i blurted it out to my mother and she fucking hates it, and shes threatened to “burn” my binder if she ever sees it, to “rip it off [my] body” if i ever wear it in front of her, that she wants “nothing to do with It” and that “its a fucked up idea” someone has “put into my head”. but you know what? thats okay, bc i Know who i am now. and sometimes things dont always go how you want, and sometimes the people who love you most cant love all of you, and i want you guys to know that if that ever happens, youre not obligated to love them back, okay? love yourself, love those who love All Of You.

tl;dr: years of dysphoria piled onto me when i had a hot ten minutes to fully think about it in between classes.

[tellytantra]

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Scene 1Aazar’s mother Tabu gives 15 lacs check to Shahbaz but Kabir burns it. She says you cant earn a penny and burning this? Zara says you dont have any right to insult my husband. Tabu says he is nothing. Salma says dont forget the days when you would come for help and didnt have food for one time. Tabu says I remember those days but I made my son capable of turning our days, he is not like Kabir who doesnt do anything, they all come to Aazar for help. She says to Ayesha that you keep praising Kabir but when you are in need then he will be useless and Zara you are proud of Kabir but he doesnt earn for you. Zara says go to any poor area of this city and see how much he works, only I can ask Kabir to earn, you have no right to taunt him. Aazar asks Tabu to say sorry, she says I will never do that, to hell with this party. She turns to leave but Ruksaar stops her and says if you dont say sorry then take your cake, she takes cake and throws it at her face. She twists it on her face, all are stunned. Tabu screams. Zeenat runs to Ruksaar and pulls her back. Aazar says what insult is this? Tabu says we will remember this, Aazar takes Tabu from there. All look on. At night, Ayesha recalls Tabu’s words that her Kabir doesnt earn anything, successful parents are those who make their kids successful too. She recalls Zara’s words and how she kept trying for Kabir to work. Zara asks Ruksaar to say sorry to God for misbehaving with guest. Ruksaar says God I will not say anything to Tabu but when I will irritate her when I go to her house as guest. Zara laughs and tucks her in bed. Ayesha comes there and sees it. She sees Zara putting Ruksaar on bed and lying on floor herself. She recalls Zara saying that she doesnt deserve to wear good when her husband doesnt earn anything. Ayesha gets emotional recalling her sacrifice and how she kept trying to make Kabir win. Zara sees her at door and says Ammi? Ayesha comes in. Zara says you didnt sleep? Ayesha holds her hand and gives her one penny back and says you have started earning pious deeds again, you have earned our hate on this pious hate, I wont bear some outsider pointing fingers at you so I will break my relation with Tabu and her family. Zara says she said everything to put her down but her words are not a lie totally, dont you think that Kabir should handle world along with religion, he gave all his earned pennies to you people and he was so happy so think when he earns and bring gifts for you then he will get so happy, God has also said that its his job to provide food but man has to work hard for it. She makes Ayesha sit and puts her head on her lap, she says I am sorry for making you all angry but I am doing all this to make Kabir realize his duties. Kabir recalls Tabu’s words that he is useless. Shahbaz comes there and sees him in thoughts. He tries to talk to him but Kabir says you are elder of Tabu, she was trying to put you down and you remained silent? I would have thrown her out but you remained silent, why? Shahbaz says your anger is valid, I was angry too and wanted to throw her out but I couldnt do it because she was our guest. Kabir says okay but I will be with you and I will start earning, I will give my day and night to earn, just tell me you are in financial troubles. Shahbaz thinks that thank God Zara is not here to see how easy it is to make Kabir work on world path. Shahbaz says to Kabir that what are you saying? you have chosen right path of religion so keep walking on it. Ayesha says to Zara that what we should have done, you are doing it but I am with you now, we both will make Kabir realize his duties. Zara hugs her. Shahbaz says to Kabir that Tabu have seen poverty but now she has money so she is taking out her grudge, this happens when you become worldly, this happens when you start earning, do you want to leave religion and become like that? if I need you then I will come to you first, you can check out bank balance, we are fine, just keep following religion. Kabir says your saying is a final verdict for me, I trust you the most, I will follow all your orders. Shahbaz says your gift was nicest to me, he leaves. Ayesha asks Zara how we will make Kabir realize his duties? Zara says since I have started living in this outhouse, I keep managing my finances, Kabir will realize it when he is away from that palace, till he is not away from that palace with all amenities, we wont be able to make him realize, to make him start earning, we have to make away from palace. Ayesha is stunned. Zara says I know its difficult to send your son away but think if its important to cut Kabir’s roots to bring him on world side? Scene 2In morning, Zara and Ruksaar are on road, Ruksaar have got sprain in her foot. Zara tries to get an auto. Ruksaar sees blanket in a shop and says I want to buy new blanket, she runs to shop. Zara runs behind her. Ruksaar says I want this blanket. Zara checks blanket and finds sharia board stamp on them, she thinks that Kabir doesnt know about it, oh God. Kabir is running on treadmill when he gets a call and says what? I am coming. He ends call.Zara and Ruksaar comes home. Zara says I have to go now, I had to take auto because of you so I cant get another one. She sends Ruksaar with servant. Kabir comes to porch and asks Zara if she got call? Zara nods. Kabir says then come with me, its an emergency. Zara looks on and sits in his car. Ayesha sees it and smiles. She gets Zara’s message that pray that Kabir finds a new path. Ayesha thinks that when mother in law and daughter in law come on one path then son has to come on right path. Zara looks at Kabir and thinks that we have started this journey today, one day it will bring Kabir on right path. PRECAP- Update Credit to: Atiba

http://cattybilli.blogspot.com/2019/01/ishq-subhan-allah-8th-january-2019.html

[tumblunni]

ANOTHER REPETITIVE POST! I love Spectacularverse Doc Ock like I love breathing oxygen, ok bye

I mean seriously WHAT a good character design and backstory and personality and just seriously rescuing a critically underrated character concept that’s been varying degrees of camp in EVERY OTHER ADAPTATION EVER and seriously this time he looks even more goofy and cute than ever before yet is also the most genuinely intimidating?? and this dude has had plots about being like an uplaoded conciousness separated from his graphically depicted mutant cancer-ridden body and possessing spiderman, and shit like that, and IT ALWAYS COMES OFF AS CAMP AND BADLY WRITTEN and then they can friggin make me terrified of a four foot tall middle aged office worker with a world’s best evil boss mug. And like FOR ONCE he’s actually shown as being remotely smart, geez, its not just He Can Invent Literally Anything The Plot Requires but he never does any form of badass master planner shit even though he should be able to. THE MASTER PLANNER EPISODE WAS THE FUCKIN BEST. They somehow made the sinister six actually sinister! THEY RESCUED THAT CONCEPT TOO!!

but seriously just fuckin LOOK AT HIM

he’s THE MOST ADORABLE he like.. ACTUALLY looks like a normal nerdy mid 30s or 40s science dude who stumbled into evil by accident. he isn’t just some abnormally ripped generic superhero in skintight spandex with just glasses and a generic bowl cut or curly hair doodled on top I actually REALLY like the redesign of his villain outfit, seriously! Its the least actual ‘villain outfit’ villain outfit. He just pulls on a vaguely practical jumpsuit and swaps out his work labcoat for a comfortable cardigan overcoat thing. HE LOOKS LIKE MY GRANDMA! It works a lot better to have the crazy robot limbs be shooting out from some disarmingly normal guy, and seriously why did he ever NEED to be fuckin buff when he has robot limbs?? seriously this version is like a miniscule adorable uncle being dragged along entirely by the limbs yet he somehow managed to be the most physically orientated incarnation of doc ock because WHY WOULD HIS NORMAL ARMS NEED TO BE BUFF, SERIOUSLY IT WILL NEVER STOP BEING DISTRACTING TO ME And like, the reimi movies were one of the earliest successful attempts at making him sympathetic, but man it was Also Distracting how he was again really kinda ripped but also like supermodel handsome?? he looked like some rich heiress to a french duchy or something. and his costume was all Trying Too Hard To Be Badass with the Fashion Trenchcoat (tm) and like seriously i do like how this version is like a colourscheme tribute to that one while also changing stuff to fit with this version of him and just seriously man i love all the doc ocks even if i’m a critical bastard oh and also underrated but good is how many costume changes he makes, and how they succeed at never changing the way he’s meant to be perceived because of it. Some of his most serious scary moments are with him topless aside from the robo harness, and we don’t get a bunch of ~ha ha fat man~ jokes, seriously this is his INTRODUCTION and as much as spidey quips around its still hella intimidating and really tragic sad. And its happening to this random half-naked Old Dadman wearing nothing but a vest and shorts. oh and the episode where he wore a cool tuxedo!! that was!! really good!! why did it even take place in fancytown if not to give us an excuse for Dapper Ock Day. When your defining concept is being basically a flesh suit dragged along by a robot thing slowly taking over your personality, I dont see why anyone needs to follow ANY ‘rules’ or cliches about what that flesh suit looks like. THE INTIMIDATING THING IS NOT THE PEOPLE PART. Yet somehow in this show it IS, I’m more scared by Nice Dadman’s loss of his humanity than I am of getting stabbed in half by his Nice Dadman Robo Hands

MAN I JUST FUCKIN REALLY ADORE THIS DOC OCK

like just LOOK AT HIM he wins the sympathetic plotline thing way more instantly just because this time HIS DESIGN is also made with that in mind right from the beginning him being a super normal relateable huggable shy nerd with a sad office life and a lil bowtie is all deliberately engineered to NOT ONLY make him relateable and sad but ALSO make him more intimidating?? like, its planned ahead of time to give you this established personality for his pre-transformation self that cameos in a few episodes before it actually happens. So the huge change in his personality is shocking and terrifying and you still know there’s some normal guy stuck inside it all, and really this could have happened to anyone, it could have happened to you! and its just like ONE EXTRA CHUNK OF BADASS ON THE BADASS CAKE that like.. his design.. doesnt change?? he doesnt stop being short + round + cute + traditional shyman design even when the shyman personality pretty much evaporates into eternal rage. You’re still getting your ass kicked by Someone’s Embarassing Dad At The Christmas Party. Its a total abandoning of all ideas of who can and can’t be a superhero/villain and seriously i know its such a minor detail but this is why i love how Spectacular diversified everyone’s body build and stuff. Also, having way more distinct silhouettes makes them more memorable, and makes the characters who’re supposed to be defined by being buff actually look it! but seriously imagine being fuckin rolled in an alleyway by The Most Harmless Dad weilding a giant bioweapon and an interlinked criminal empire of other villains under his control because even in his deranged state he keeps his massive intellect that was never recognised back when he was good ITS SO FUCKIN TRAGIC BUT SO FUCKIN COOL

and seriously HIS PLOT his PLOT his personality, his backstory, his very brief yet really well developed foreshadowing before his origin story AAAA its SO GOOD

I think the best part of it in my opinion is like.. he’s sympathetic but he’s NOT redeemable? Well, he might be redeemable but he never gets a redemption plot, he ignores all his damn epiphanies, and like.. Spidey doesnt even know the poor sod’s backstory so he never even tries, and its REALLY FRUSTRATING but also realistic too He was 100% The Nicest most innocent good natured guy and now he is 100% a villain who never even remotely tries to go down that redemption plotline yet the show keeps it hanging over our head forever as a goddamn tragic thing He was just... a really good guy who did nothing?? He didnt deserve anything?? He just got turned into a monster against his own will after tHE WORST DAY IN HIS LIFE and basically broke and decided to abandon all that goodness in one big moment. And man, I say ‘decided’ like it isnt an intriguingly ambiguous theorizeable constant question of how much of his old self is actually left in there and how much is the arms talking. I kinda like to interpret it as like Spidey and the black suit? Its a shame they didnt take the opportunity to use any parallels when it happened. but like ok SERIOUSLY like.. even the sympathetic Ocks of times past weren’t THIS pure

he wasnt JUST a good guy, he was a really shy chronic doormat who’d been ordered around by assholes all his life and had all his accomplishments stolen and just fuckin DIDNT DO ANYTHING WRONG EVER and manifested his super doom powers not through any normal accident even but from his asshole employer trying to murder him and he would have legit died in the most horrible horrible way. the last we get to see of Good!Ock is his ‘oh umm, sir, I think the door lock is broken’ turning into a horrific realization, and then him fuckin... CURLING UP IN A FETAL POSITION CRYING and “this can’t happen, I’ve been good’ THATS LITERALLY THE LINE like HOW MANY OTHER TIMES have people betrayed this man in his life?? he’s so fuckin buried in respectability politics that its no wonder he went COMPLETELY NUTS as soon as he got powers. he’s spent his WHOLE LIFE being good for NO REWARD, being TOO GOOD and having villains take advantage of him again and again, like no fucking wonder he’d give up on the whole concept of virtue being his own reward when LITERALLY IT NEVER WAS like seriously aside from the part about him inventing a magic super arms suit and his boss trying to murder him this is JUST AN ORDINARY STORY OF CORPORATE AMERICA this is the kind of ‘tragic backstory’ thats completely fuckin normalized in our society all his suffering was just cos of money and academic elitism and terrible employers n shit, his grand reason for becoming a villain is just because HIS JOB IS BAD and its not even SUPERNATURALLY bad until the point where it tries to kill him. its a supernatural sci fi corporation whose worst points are its SUPER REALISTIC BEAUROCRATIC BULLSHIT. And seriously this could have even ended the same way in real life, it’d just be more likely the mistreated employee would become homeless and die on the streets, or collapse from overwork, or something... so seriously this fuckin CINNAMON ROLL WHO DID NOTHING WRONG whose intro episode is ENTIRELY JUST DEVOTED TO CONVINCING US HE’S GOOD AND NOT LIKE ANY OTHER OCK EVER, this fuckin SHY DADMAN THE HUGS with his TINY BOWTIE he gets fuckin destroyed and killed offscreen before spiderman ever even meets him, and we get to see it but he doesnt, and then we enter in at already the point of no return where ock’s decided to never trust anyone ever again except The Machine, and NOBODY IN-UNIVERSE even gets to find out that he was once good!

and i love how the show actually explores the underappreciated flaw of spiderman, that sometimes the people he’s quipping against aren’t really The Mook of The Day but a sympathetic human being who might have been able to be talked down instead. Early on in this show he gets a bit carried away in having fun with his hero job, and makes a few mistakes like this. As well as just times that he did know the villain before they turned, and he’s REALLY trying to help them, but he still fails for other reasons and its just like AAAAA maybe if he had a bit more experience he could have figured out what to do but you know he’s not gonna realize that, he’s just gonna blame himself forever. Spiderman is allowed to have Kind of A Douche Move flaws, yet also be sympathetic and good at the same time?? So good! Its more clearly shown with the Electro episode, I think? Just look at how much more serious he gets when he realizes this isnt like Electro, The Guy Who Donned A Super Suit One Day And Decided To Commit Crime, but Literally Max You Just Met The Other Day, Who Escaped From The Hospital And Is Having A Mental Breakdown In A Public Coffee Shop. Seriously Electro here is really underrated! We don’t get as much time with pre-villainy him and he’s a bit snippy and such, but he was still just a normal good person who fell into bad luck, and he still has this scary loss of personality afterwards. He’s possibly even more tragic than Doc Ock cos there isn’t even any deniability ~ooh but maybe he’s controlled by the arms or maybe not~ and he didnt have a really long backstory that convinced him to change his perspective in life after one big bad day. His change comes out of NOWHERE after that one big bad day, and even he seems really scared and confused about it! Its like whatever the fuck is going on with this magic electricity infection has amplified all his emotions to a point where they physically pain him, he’s suddenly really obsessed with minor jealousy things and seems unable to rationally process them like he was seen doing just five minutes ago. He’s even kinda LESS snippy than he was before, he’s like he can’t even string together a complex enough train of thought to manage it. He goes from a pretty world-weary and down-to-earth electrical worker to like.. uncomfortably childlike, and the series uncomfortably making fun of him for it. I found it very relateable as an autistic person, even though it was 99% likely unintentional, and like.. if it was intentional it would be pretty bad representation anyway cos its like some guy being turned autistic by magic science, but yknow Whatever. Still goddamn coffee shop scene was literally Several Days of My Life laid bare on the screen for all to see, poor goddamn relateavle Electro AND LIKE Not to mention the sensory deprivation body horror aspect, like HOLY SHIT imagine how scary it must be to have to wear this full body armour thing and NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING EVER AGAIN because you’re MADE OF DEATH NOW. Seriously his fuckin turning point was after a day of slowly discovering all the different ways he was Completely Fucked, he just wanted a damn cup of coffee and ended up crying in the starbucks, and then spiderman comes in assuming he’s a villain cos well he looks like a weird electro creature and seriously HE JUST WANTED HIS COFFEE. its like an uncomfortably realistic depiction of a panic attack that some poor guy is having after developing a major disability in an accident. Amplified by crazy lightning powers ruining his brain, and some dumb spider kid punching him while he’s trying to figure it all out. I think this is kinda why I really like the subtle hints of a fatherly relationship between doc ock and him? He’s surprisingly patient with him compared to the other sinister six members, and Electro treats him with a huge amount of respect and admiration he isn’t shown giving ANYONE else! like seriously, his brain meltdown made him think all his old friends were conspiring against him at the slightest misinterpreted evidence, so it says a LOT that Ock is able to actually keep this status as a trustable person in Super Paranoia Man’s brain across two whole seasons. And its kinda adorable how he’s like ‘wow, electro just jumped the gun and misunderstood my plan YET AGAIN’ but at most he just chastises the dude and actually explains what he did wrong. And electro actually does change slightly over the series, developing from this mentorly treatment when nothing else ever seemed to work for him. Tho I mean, its never made clear whether Ock really sees him that way or if its just like ‘well this guy is easy to manipulate if you offer him the most minimal kindness’ which is SAD IN ITS OWN RIGHT! thatd be so depressing cos it’d mean ock is becoming like how osborne used to treat his old self. i prefer to hope its just a shred of his old good guy self relating to Electro’s situation.

and MAN the question of whether doc ock is in control, or the arms! ITS HANDLED REALLY WELL!!! the one thing that bugged me about the reimi movie ock is that its always a bad ‘redemption story’ when the guy never even chose to turn evil, he’s just being mind controlled or something. they made it too clear that he was 100% mind controlled by the evil arms and yet tried to blame him 100% for his actions and then he dies in the end. And seriously, why was he even able to regain control of his senses in the end if he couldnt before? it would make so much more sense if he was a guy who actually made a bad choice in life, saw the consequences, and took the decision to change. THIS IS THE BEST PART OF REDEMPTION PLOTS and like.. the interesting part about Spectacular Ock is how he’s just gone 100% full hog into his evil and expresses no interest in taking any offers of redemption plot. He isnt all divided and doubting because of his old goodness, he legit went from 100% good to 100% evil in one scene. ‘I should sacrifice my own health and confidence and life just to be useful to other people’ to ‘EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING FOR ME. NEVER TRUST ANYONE EVER. GIVE ME THE RECOGNITION I WAS DENIED!’ It sounds like it SHOULD be a jarring change but they wrote it so well that it COMPLETELY works! we dont see the entirety of his life beforehand but we see enough to know that this was his absolute despair horizon and he’s emerged on the other side as someone tragically unrecogniseable. And every single thing about this wildly different new evil personality is ABSOLUTELY derived by something that was already evidenced in his old good one. Its dark reflections of personality traits that were one some of his greatest virtues. And its like.. a deliberate decision on his part to become the kind of villain who’s the opposite of the weak things he despised in himself, cos as much as he’s all ‘dont trust anyone’ now he still blames himself for not being good enough, as if he somehow deserved what happened and could have avoided it if he acted differently. Its a very performative kind of ego that’s critically fragile deep down. And also HOLY SHIT I love how well developed that was as a flaw!! They gave us an actual reason for why Ock could be ‘a genius’ yet still make mistakes when necessary to allow our hero an opening to defeat him. They make him WAY more competant than he ever was before, and now his mistakes stem from an established character flaw so its far less obvious deus ex machina. Its not ‘stupid moments’ anymore, even if its still a genius at some things showing a lack of basic common sense at others. Now its because he loses rationality when angered or insulted, due to the circumstances of his depressing backstory. Just act like mr osborne and all ock’s cool composure falls away. Heartlessly weaponize those memories of his abuser, our hero! (SERIOUSLY THIS SHOW DOES MORAL AMBIGUITY SO WELL)

ok ok ok okay WHERE WAS I oh yeah THE ARMS QUESTION cos seriously it is SO GOOD and its one of the biggest reasons i’m sad the show got cancelled before reaching a resolution. i wanted to have the question answered!! or at least give us enough evidence to draw a conclusion one way or another! Ok so like.. its left TANTALIZINGLY vague whether Ock’s vast change in personality was JUST due to snapping after one terrible day, or if the accident with the arms actually affected his brain somehow. like, we know from other continuities that ‘the arms’s AI is fused with my personality’ is a thing that can potentially happen to a doc ock, but did it happen to this one? Honestly its so vague we dont even know if ANYTHING happened to them in the accident really. Could he have actually taken them off at any time? is his story less about ‘oh god im stuck as a cyborg freak forever, i will take it out on humanity’ and just a guy who stole this bioweapon tech when he decided to become a villain, and is using it normally as intended? Cos seriously when you briefly see him in prison like.. how did they remove the arms? And how did they so easily attatch again afterwards? it doesnt seem like they were stabbing into his flesh like in the reimi movie, just however the spinal attatchment was normally intended to function. Also: another underrated moment! Its a great interpretation to have the arms be something he invented himself as a morally neutral laboratory aide, and never intended them to be a weapon at all. they do seem weirdly battle equipped for simple prosthetic limbs, so it feels like maybe osborne modified his original design because He Is Evil Fuckface In Every Possible Way. Then again you could probably say that stuff like the saw functionality might be necessary when you’re working with building complex robotics n stuff. Anyway, it was cute and creepy and creepycute to see good!Ock just casually using the same Death Arms for ordinary lab work way before he gets his origin story. it was kinda endearing how he seemed to not even realise how unintentionally creepy their design was, he was just super proud and affectionate about this cool invention of his. The awkward handshake with the robo arms!! that was cute!! But then like THE MOMENT. Th e DAMN MOMENT. That was SUCH GOOD WRITING but in light of there NEVER BEING AN ANSWER I kinda wanna spitefully call it bad writing, lol They have that One Scene of (apparantly) prologue good guy ock finally coming back for like 15 seconds?? I was so excited and happy and proud of him?? You see him going through prison therapy and.. ITS HIM!! I cant even BELIEVE how much I mourned this poor guy until they really drew attention to it. He changed so much you legit outright MOURN all the good guy potential he had, and how much he didnt deserve what happened. And then the Fiendish Writers bit is what happens next, you see the cyborg arms acting independantly of him and breaking free of their restraints to return to their master. And then YOU SEE HIM NOT WANTING TO GO. You see him SCREAMING. You see him dragged out a fucking window horror style. And then you see him perfectly calm five seconds later. You get post-reattatchment Ock saying ‘haha i was just pretending to be redeemed, I was just hiding my true intentions while I waited for my robo arms to come back’. But like.. like.. why did he keep the act up even when his plan was complete, then?? He would have no reason to act afraid when the arms showed up! He could just reveal his deception with a fancy flourish and ride his train to freedom. Why did he keep screaming even as he was already out the window and around the corner, with nobody there to be fooled? its just SO tantalizingly vague and seriously FUCKING HELL I wish the creators at least gave the answer in interviews or something after the show got cancelled before the final season. Tho personally my headcanon is kinda somewhere in the middle and fitting with the comparisons to the symbiote and such. i think maybe there is indeed something going on with the arms gaining some degree of sentience after the accident, and fusing with their host to influence them into making decisions they might not have. Tho I also think that this hypothetical machine hivemind isn’t really like the symbiote where it has an active sense of self and is shown being sneaky and manipulating its host actively, with a huge amount of awareness. I just feel like this form of sentience is a pure instinct mess of malfunctioning programming that amplifies people’s obsessions in like.. an eternally expanding feedback loop with no limit and no end goal in mind. Its just ‘PROTECT HOST = ??? = PROTECT HOST MORE’ and ‘UPGRADE UPGRADE UPGRADE’. i think if the arms actually were acting independantly of him then they also actually were trying to rescue him, that would kinda explain why the reinstituted dual conciousness thinks of it that way. i mean, if it’s not outright a sign that doc ock is completely dead and thats the arms talking through him and lying. Cos that would be the more boring option, like I said I prefer sympathetic villains who arent brainwashed and actually made bad choices so they can actually be redeemed of them later. So like, I’m seeing this as like ‘what if you got stuck with a good-natured genie who grants your every wish entirely wrong and will NEVER LEAVE’. His arms AI only intends to serve him, it just... Goes Very Wrong. JOIN THE SINGULARITY, MASTER. You should totally upgrade me very much so I can protect you more. I WILL KILL ALL THE PEOPLE WHO MADE FUN OF YOU And then its similar to the symbiote as like a metaphor for drug abuse, when the drug is ‘power’. Or like.. the potential to have success at the cost of other things. Its not inherantly evil and its not like it takes control of you outright, its just like a thing that amplifies your worst vices and at the same time does damage to your health and is Generally A Bad Decision. Its a temptation to do bad stuff you already had the potential to do on your own. I think if either the arms or the symbiote possessed a genuine 100% flawless good person, they would have no effect on them. But like.. not many people like that really exist, and its not like people who have flaws are any less good. So its tragic that we’ve seen these definately good people who’ve fallen apart under the influence of The Magic Superpower Drugs Metaphor, and like.. Doc Ock and Venom are the tragic story of people who couldnt manage to escape from it and develop out of their flaws like spidey did. And I think maybe Doc Ock is somehow even more tragic because he DOESNT HAVE A CHOICE TO LEAVE. this has just shown that like.. his one decision to metaphorically take the one cocaine has already doomed him. Even though he said no to it the second time, the arms still forcibly reattatched to him, and probably will keep doing that until either one of them ends up dead. Like, its so tragic that he actually seemed completely normal when they were removed?? He seemed to have come to his senses and be working past his issues that caused the whole freakout, with that prison therapy. But NOPE! Tho on the other hand it was also REALLY DEPRESSING in its own way that poor Eddie was still irrecoverably broken even after he lost the symbiote, and then actively sought it out to be reinfected no matter how many times it shows it has no damn loyalty to him and just wants to eat his damn soul and fuck off to the next host. Another reason for good comparative metaphors! It could be a really epic battle between him and venom cos the show could actually clarify a lot of stuff about how on earth each respective symbiosis works, and maybe have like a battle of The Good One vs The Bad One even though both are bad? Like, neutral not-entirely-sentient arms thing that just wants to give its inventor the power he needs to get what he wants, inadvertantly exploding his damn brain into evils. Then we have creepy manipulative love-em-and-leave-em alien with an actual voice and personality and stuff. Yet both equally harmful to their hosts! Comparison time: FIGHT!!

god i have like SO many fuckin ideas of where the story could have gone, i wish i knew what the creators had planned if it wasnt cancelld, god i wish we could have had some damn sweet funky cool resolution for Badass Cute Bowtie Dad and his Doom Squiggles Also electro! give electro more sympathy and development! give him a dad! why did u make me care so much about these villains aaa