#he thinks you'll despise him but no matter what form he takes you'll always loves him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

shoichee · 3 years ago

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Can i get a soulmate fic for kise please? What i was thinking was that they have this "hate" relationship (where they passed the line between love and hate, but they just don't know it yet). Like they argue because it's like routine for them already. Manga (and jealous?? but doesn't know that what he's feeling is jealousy :P) kise please!! It's up to you what kind of soulmate thing, but maybe something that takes time to show since they've been interacting and all that. Thanks so much!!

Paradox

[Kise x f!Reader]

soulmate!au, enemies to lovers!au, manga!kise, cursing!kise to bits, LONG SERIES FIC

Hana is the name I decided to give to the brunette who flirted with Haizaki in s3

Synopsis: Kise despises people like you more than anyone else, the type of people who are shallow, coquettish, and so high-strung on acquiring a soulmate more than anyone else. Nothing good ever comes out of someone who hangs out with the brunette girl along with Haizaki.

You despise two-faced people like him... that's what you like to tell yourself. After all, you're only honest about what you want with people, and if it can help you get a soulmate faster... Where's the crime in that? High-and-mighty people like Kise who didn't believe in soulmates were pretentious, and he was no exception. And you'll do whatever it takes to get what you want, even if it means throwing away your heart in the process, because happiness will come to you once you're with your soulmate... you just know it.

Chapters 3-4 can be found here!

Word Count:

Part 1: 3386 | Part 2: 2131

A/N: This post includes both chapters 1 and 2! Well, it's here... I have the entire brainstorm of where I need this plot to go, but writing it out in fic form as opposed to long headcanons? ... Not my strongest suit but here I go? Please support this series through reblogs/likes and comments! I'd love to interact with everyone!

current 🏷: @nadav-ii, @carinacassiopeiae, @kendrex13, @roppongiperfume, @thesongstressayre, @kimigiri09, @takatul, @evierena, @one-one-one-one @seijurosempress @inum4k1

Chapter 1, Kise’s POV

»»—————　☼　—————««

Addressed to Kise Ryōta:

You will meet your soulmate in a place where there are many other people. You will have your first real encounter with them in a place where you always spend your time through the years. Be careful to keep track of where you are at all times. Your soulmate is always with company, and they are never lonely. You must be careful to not actively seek out for your fated encounter, for you’ll certainly miss them. You must remain committed and seek out things that keep you steady and motivated. Only then is it possible for your soulmate to come to you instead.

Kise would like to think he’s a romantic at heart—cheesy guy even, but on the other hand, he actively scoffs at the letter’s content… that he’s had memorized for years now. He has no choice on the matter of whether or not he’ll remember it. Not when his “letter” was just a measly paragraph. He remembered being awfully jealous and whiny of his past classmates bringing their 2-page letter to class to show off and getting the “ooh’s” and “ah’s” from everyone else. That was one sure-fire way to distinguish yourself from the crowd and make a name for yourself. Over the years, Kise’s learned that it would become a separate type of “popularity hierarchy,” whereas those with the most elaborate, mysterious, or unique soulmate letters are the ones at the top of the social ladder. Bonus points if it somehow involves all three factors.

And somehow, he also ended up at the popular side of that hierarchy too. Not like he cared, but it’s wildly convenient sometimes to get what you want from people. Still, no benefits from being popular this way could ever outweigh the massive inconveniences; he made the grievous mistake of revealing his letter contents to a casual friend in “good-natured fun.” And before he knew it, the entire school ended up knowing about it too… and then the entire neighborhood… and somehow, it went even into the ears beyond that.

Thus, it started his chronic illness of being tailed after by girls of all backgrounds. With no cure in sight for the ailment that he certainly didn’t ask for. It’s almost terrifying how a single day transformed every single girl into a parasitic bee on a search for the brightest, most colorful flower. Kise, already popular for his looks to begin with, suddenly was shoved under a more blinding spotlight of public scrutiny. If he was going to be completely honest… he liked it… at first. The newfound attention was euphoric and foreign, and he relished in it. But just like anything else, it got… boring.

Some might call it the ultimate blessing: it could make searching for a soulmate much easier and less effort on his end, they’d argue. Kise had come to beg to differ. Not when hundreds of the same faces with hundreds of clamors claimed and cried that they were his soulmate. How do fourteen girls suddenly have the “other half of the puzzle” to his own letter when there were… thirteen other girls claiming the same thing?

See, one soulmate gets a letter describing a general location of where they’d meet their soulmate. The other soulmate gets a letter describing a general timeframe of when they’d meet. Not like it actually helps narrowing down the process of pairing up people. Because he knows this shit can take years—decades, in fact—before he can even get a first glimpse of his soulmate. And the ordeal of people constantly screaming in his face that the time they’d meet their soulmate is now and hence, “it must be Kise” got old really quickly.

It’s utterly stupid. Who does this sender think they are to decide how Kise gets to live his life? What type of sadistic game were they playing by forcing the other soulmate to have the other half of the information, which would be, no doubt, just as annoyingly cryptic?

He stopped denying all the rumors of a girl claiming to be his soulmate; for every rumor he clarified and quashed during his naive youth, three more sprung up the next week. Ignoring them sounds counterintuitive, but when he allows the many rumors and girls to multiply and fester, the number of annoyances are still relatively the same: nearly infinite.

Such has become the life of Kise Ryōta.

Worst part of this whole damn thing was, he won’t be able to know when he’d meet his soulmate, not until he shares a “kiss of genuine integrity” with them… and he doesn’t even know where to begin with that requirement. Supposedly, after you kiss the right person with the right intention, something changes in the mysterious letter that would indicate he found the soulmate. Problem is, it’s different for everyone: some get a drawing of their soulmate at the end of the letter; some simply have the name of their soulmate written at the end; some get an engraved stamp; and the list goes on and on. The main takeaway from it all is that his letter should have a visible change at the end… if he could even get to that point at this rate.

“Oh my gosh…! Is that—That’s Kise-kun!!”

“Eh?! Where, where?! Let me see!”

This is ludicrous. What kind of deity up there decided to put a twisted spin on this sappy, fairy tale trope? He gives a harsh exhale before he puts up a polite smile and continues on with his day. His first day at Teiko.

“Please join our club…!” Several girls huddle around the table, eager to show the good-looking boy their information trifold-cardboard and flyers. Unsurprisingly, every single one of them had eyes of ulterior motive. At the sight, Kise resists the urge to roll his eyes at them. He stands there for a bit, watching their mouths move, but in truth, he’s not hearing a single thing out of them.

This girl looks decent… her hair is a bit weird, though.

Oh, she sure has a strange accent… and this girl has odd eyebrows.

Ugh, this one talks too much at a too-high pitch.

“Ah… well…” He puts up a chagrined smile, not knowing where to look before he smoothly waves goodbye. “I have something else to check out. Keep yourselves well, ladies!” With that, he immediately prepares his ears for shrieks of admiration and lovesickness.

Good riddance.

———

As much as he hates to admit it, he still doesn’t know what that letter exactly means to this day. Some of the sentences that consider themselves as “hints” or “instructions” are way too vague to be considered such.

He begrudgingly opens up the envelope containing the letter for the umpteenth time again. Kise sits on his desk in his own room, illuminated by the sunlight filtering through the glass pane. Floating dust particles are instantly revealed where the light hits, but he doesn’t care, his attention only on what’s important. Chin on his desk, Kise lays the envelope and letter on the flat surface, trying to see what he could be missing. By now, the paper is slightly worn out from years of Kise thumbing, flipping, inserting, folding, unfurling—you name it, in hopes of finding any hidden clues as to who’s the sender and how to solve this “riddle” that ultimately determines the rest of his life. The seal wax on the envelope is beyond recognition, cracked and no longer aesthetically pleasing to look at.

An unassuming creme-white envelope laid tactfully on top of the same desk years ago, the light from his room window shining on it like a natural spotlight. Stray dust floated around, acting like confetti to announce its unexpected, (yet important) quiet arrival. Adorned with a wax seal, the middle of it was impressed in the center of the seal with a perfect copy of his “hanko” that clearly had the kanji for his name. Which was weird… wasn’t counterfeiting hankos illegal? Being beyond skeptical even for his young age at the time of the discovery, Kise thoroughly checked every crease and fold of the paper. Yes, he even dared to open the window and looked around in case someone had the gall to play a prank on him. Opening up the envelope did nothing to calm him down as soon as he realized it was the infamous “soulmate letter.”

So God help him.

“Well…” he sighs, picking up the letter closer to his face, chin still firmly on the wood. “It wouldn’t hurt to double-check one more time, right?”

[You will meet your soulmate in a place where there are many other people.]

He frowns not even a second into the letter. Well that’s not EXACTLY helpful, is it? he ruefully thinks, recalling the constant faces surrounding him with hopeful, shining eyes. How am I going to figure out which of them is the right person? He groans in frustration before reluctantly moving on to the next part.

[You will have your first real encounter with them in a place where you always spend your time through the years. Be careful to keep track of where you are at all times.]

This also makes no damn sense. He blows a strand out of his hair in annoyance, but he stops at a realization. I guess I’ve been in the studio for a long time… It has been a couple years since he started out as a casual model, so perhaps he’s on the right track. He allows himself a small grin of triumph.

[Your soulmate is always with company, and they are never lonely. You must be careful to not actively seek out for your fated encounter, for you’ll certainly miss them.]

His grin grows wider. This is it…! It only makes sense that they’re also involved within the modeling industry. Are they a photographer, makeup artist, stylist… or even, are they also a model like him? It would only make sense if they’re never alone like he is. And maybe trying to seek them out when they also attract other people to them would make it harder to face them alone? He frowns. Or maybe it’s because they’re one of my many admirers? That one is still a bit muddy. But he remains hopeful.

[You must remain committed, and seek out things that keep you steady and motivated. Only then is it possible for your soulmate to come to you instead.]

The most cryptic part of the letter. If he’s going to try to base this off of the premise of his soulmate being near his modeling job, maybe he should pursue the pastime beyond just a hobby and turn it into a career? But other than that, all the things he’s tried out, especially sports, have gotten boring and thus, been abandoned. He bangs his forehead on the table, grin wiped off of his face realizing how he instantly got kicked back into square one.

This… this doesn’t make any sense!

———

It’s been two years at Teiko. Still no sign of this soulmate. He’s not surprised that by now, nearly the entire school somehow caught wind of the contents of his letter…. though, rumors have been getting wilder and wilder as days pass.

“Kise-kun.”

“Ee-ee-eeeee!!” The sudden voice makes him jump out of his skin before he whirls around in a panic. “Kurokocchi!! Could you stop doing that??”

Kuroko merely gives his signature blank look before he continues walking on like nothing happened.

“Y-You’re really gonna ignore me?!”

“It’s almost time for practice,” he says, turning back to face him expressing theatrical tears. “We don’t want to be late, or Akashi-kun will find out.”

At the mention of the captain’s name, Kise merely gulps before he catches up with Kuroko’s stride with no further complaints.

“But did you have to pop out of nowhere?”

Honestly, I still don’t get that part about him.

“I can’t help it,” he deadpans, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s not much different from your popularity.”

“When you put it like that,” he sighs, putting his arms behind his head. “I guess I can see it.” He eyes the back of Kuroko’s head—who’s been walking ahead—for several minutes before he finally musters up the courage to ask.

“Say, Kurokocchi…”

“Yes?” Kuroko continues keeping up his pace, but he slightly looks back to Kise in acknowledgment.

“Did you get your soulmate letter yet?”

At the question, Kuroko merely blinks before he replies. “I received an envelope in my locker yesterday. I thought it was strange since no one ever notices me to begin with, so I thought someone must’ve mistaken my locker for someone else’s.” Kise waits with bated breath for him to continue.

“And?”

Kuroko looks away for a second. “Yeah, it had my hanko on it. I opened it to make sure it wasn’t an error on the sender’s end. Sure enough…” he nods before finishing his reveal, “it was in fact, about my soulmate.”

“What did it say?!” Kise nearly jumps on Kuroko out of anticipation, but he barely manages to keep himself in check.

“That I’ll find my soulmate when I’m 17 to 18,” he says matter-of-factly. “So that means… I’d be a 3rd year in high school. But it also said I would already encounter them at several points in my life prior.”

Kise face-palms at his answer. “What the hell? How come yours is so straightforward?”

He only shrugs as a response, because they were already at the front steps of the gym. It looks like they got here on time. Kuroko announces the two of them before he helps pull out the ball carts. As shoe squeaks and ball dribbles echo throughout the interior, Kise stands there mulling over Kuroko’s information.

So Kurokocchi had the part of the soulmate information that only told the approximate time frame… Still, his was way too simple… or did he somehow decipher it really easily?

Kise makes a loud noise of frustration as he grabs and shakes his head, completely ignoring the concerned looks from the other first-string players.

Eurghh!! Why is mine too complicated?!

———

Kise looks at the letter in his hands again. Looking at it sort of pisses him off at this point, the wrinkled font clearly mocking and challenging him to solve it… if he could even do it to begin with. He holds the top of the paper with his two hands, his thumbs and forefingers gripping tighter. He can just rip it. He really can… who’s stopping him?

Actually, has there been anyone who ripped their letter like this before?

He intensely stares at it for a few moments, juggling his options and weighing the consequences if he did choose to shred his fate into pieces. He gives a resigned pout when he comes to the conclusion that maybe it’d be best if he didn’t test that theory out. With a huff, he roughly folds up the paper and shoves it into the envelope before tossing it haphazardly onto a low shelf.

“That’s it,” he declares out to the room. “I’m not going to bother with this soulmate shit. I’m going to live my life however I want, and no one can stop me otherwise.”

And suddenly, he feels ten times better, like a weight was lifted from his shoulders. I should’ve done this sooner, he thinks, yawning as he gets ready for a good nap in his bed. Thinking about this is way too tiring and troublesome. Why should I even care about it anymore?

———

Somehow, his admirers became bolder and bolder, realizing that they should try to push his boundaries and see how much they can get away with. It started with tentative brushes of his shirt and his arms, thinking he didn’t notice. Of course he fucking noticed, when ten other girls had the same idea. Birds of a feather flock together—something he remembers, snorting derisively in his mind yesterday. But what does he do? Put some distance between them and himself with a cheery smile and a fastbreak walk. And then today, they have the audacity to actually grab him?

You’ve got to be kidding me.

“Is it true that your soulmate letter told you that you’d meet someone so beautiful in a place no one goes to?”

“No, that’s wrong! I’ve heard that he’s looking for someone in a place where he works.”

“Should we also apply there then…?”

Kise drops his sunny disposition like a drop of a hat, and those who had their eyes and hands on him immediately flinch at the sudden change. All the loud whispers cease.

“K-Kise-kun…? Is there something wrong?”

“Is there someone bothering you?”

How do you guys have no self awareness?

“Ah, sorry…” Kise gives a placid smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “You see—”

“Oh!!~ Ryōta-kun!!”

Everyone jumps at the sound of his first name used so familiarly, but Kise is more shocked than the rest of them because he doesn’t recognize the voice one bit. What the hell is going on?

A girl ruthlessly pushes through the crowd before she bounces to his side with such a saccharine smile that Kise is almost impressed by the feat. But his thoughts short-circuit when she comfortably wraps her perfectly-manicured hands around his left arm, her brunette hair swept across her shoulder and touching his sleeve. He gets a full whiff of her fragrance, and he slightly grimaces before his thoughts finally catch up to register what just happened.

What the f—

“Everyone is so touchy today!!” she declares with a slight pout, ringing her voice loudly for everyone nearby to hear on purpose. “Don’t you guys know Ryōta-kun is my soulmate?”

“O-Oi—who said—” Kise immediately tries to jump in, but the girl is quicker to cut him off.

“He’s mine! Sorry girlies!” she says with a playful innocence before narrowing her eyes maliciously at the crowd. “... So you’ll have to leave, ‘mkay?” No sooner she speaks those words, the group disperses, and for the first time, Kise’s relatively alone in broad daylight in the middle of a public space. Though, he now has a bigger issue at hand. This girl.

There’s no doubt the entire school would talk about this the next day and weeks to come… probably months too. He drops his nice facade completely with her. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but stop it. The shit you’re doing right now isn’t cute in the slightest.”

“Oh! Ryōta-kun… don’t you know how attractive you are when you look at me like that?” She leans forward with a sneer of her own. “But you should be thanking me, no? I got rid of the pests for you, didn’t I?”

“I didn’t need your help,” he scoffs, beginning to turn away to walk. “If anything, you sound more desperate than I am.” There’s only one reason why she’s here.

He fumes to himself. She’s annoying, trying to use me for my status as a model to boost her own reputation in a hopeful “scandal.” Fucking hell. I’ll have to ask my manager about this later for rumor control… He clicks his tongue, making it loud enough for her to hear.

At least he knows 100% that she isn’t his soulmate. That’s one girl down out of infinity.

He walks with such controlled anger brewing within him that he almost didn’t notice another girl walking past him. Almost.

“Hana-chan!” a voice called out. He presumes that the brunette is who the voice is looking for. “Why’d you ditch me like that? You left me with these boys all alone! You know how starved they are—They totally looked at me like a piece of meat!”

“Aish, (y/n)-chan!” He hears her annoying voice echoing behind him. He walks faster. “Don’t you know you have that charm? Can you blame them?~ I wouldn’t, hehe.”

“Mou—! Hana-chan!” You speed to Hana, completely ignoring Kise as you storm past him. “You’re mean!”

He takes a quick side glance at you before his scowl turns harsher.

Who the hell in their right mind is friends with that bitch??

“Sorry, sorry!~”

But Kise can obviously tell she isn’t sorry in the least. He’s even more pissed off when he hears you pleasantly laugh with her, completely accepting her half-assed apology.

Chapter 2, Kise’s POV

———

“Huh? What’d you say Ryōta?”

“I said I want to play for the starting position.” Kise’s voice takes on an arrogant tone, dropping all polite facade—a rare occurrence, especially around so many people. The other first-string players watch the interaction anxiously, tension building in the gym.

This guy isn’t taking me seriously at all, is he?

Haizaki merely gives him a condescending look when he turns to face Kise. “You just joined the team. Hah—don’t be stupid.” He cocks a brow to taunt him further. “Besides, you can’t even beat me at practice. What do you think you’re doing, eh?”

I know what I’m doing, and you damn know it.

Kise merely gives a cocky look of his own. “I may not stand a chance against the other four, but I think I’m ready to take you.” More than ready. The mentioned Generation of Miracles stand aside to watch Haizaki’s response, not making any particular move to interfere.

“Heh, you must not think much of me.” Haizaki puts his hands casually on his hips. “It’s obvious I just don’t take practice seriously.” He licks his thumb as another taunt. “Fine. I’ll give you a taste of what I can really do.”

Honestly… what type of sick guy even does that? I can’t stand him.

. . .

A dunk there.

Another dunk.

Steal.

Backtip.

“Uh-oh. Kise-chin’s getting destroyed,” a lazy voice rings over the shoe squeaks and echoing ball bounces in the one-on-one match.

Damn it, you didn’t have to say that out loud, Murasakibaracchi… Damn it.

“More! I’m not done yet…!” Kise breathes hard, wiping sweat off his chin with the back of his arm and takes on a defensive stance.

“It’ll end the same way every time.”

“W-Wha—!”

“You and I…” Haizaki deals the finishing blow with a brutal dunk. “... are cut from different cloth.”

Ah… shit. Damn it, I thought I had it this time… I thought… damn…

“Shōgo-kun!” a feminine voice calls out from the doorway. A brunette girl pops her head to peep in. Hana. “Are you done with practice?”

Ugh… not her. Kise inwardly blanches at hearing her nauseating voice filling up the room and remembering the stunt she pulled the other day. Of all people to see me like this too…

“Yeah, sorry. I just finished,” Haizaki calls out, voice turning casual. He walks to her with an outstretched arm, eager for a touch before she recoils in disgust.

“Eurgh—!” she shrieks. “You’re still drenched in sweat!”

“Pft, I’ll take a quick shower.” He leans forward to her face, hands on his hips. “Do you wanna come with me?”

“Oh, come on!” she chastises him with that sickenly sweet voice, knowing fully well of his implications.

Kise huffs a small breath of annoyance, though it doesn’t do enough to convey his irritation for her. What a fake. People like her are so unbearable—the worst.

Aomine sighs, watching from a distance away. “That bastard…”

“Hey,” another player calls out. “Isn’t that… That’s Kise’s new girlfriend. Are they soulmates?”

Bullshit! She’s not—

“Ryōta-kun?”

Don’t use my first name like we’re familiar—

“Yeah.” Haizaki turns back to stare down at Kise, still on the ground with his hands and knees. “This guy just challenged me and lost.”

“Seriously? Talk about lame~”

“Anyways, that’s that.” Haizaki prepares to leave with the brunette. “Later, Ryōta-kun.” He adds an emphasis on the honorific to further humiliate him as he turns around.

Kise begins to tremble, fists tightening. All of you piss me off. He grits his teeth, willing himself to get up from his total loss and stand on his feet again. His hands are hanging loosely at his sides—stance relaxed, but no one around him can tell what he’s actually feeling from the way he hides his face under his bangs. But he can’t blame Haizaki… that’s the most infuriating part. He’s right… I challenged him and didn’t stand a chance—That can only mean I have to get stronger.

“Hey, wait!” Another voice cuts through his thoughts when more running footsteps echo down the gym hallway. Kise looks up with a disinterested expression at the source of the noise. “There you are! I’ve been looking for you! Aren’t we going to the arcade together?”

Haizaki merely smirks at you, giving you a once-over before flicking his hand towards himself to beckon you over. “The more the merrier, eh?”

“Oh, Shōgo-kun! You’re so sly!”

“Ehhhhh?” You dramatically gasp, turning to Haizaki. “But you agreed on going on a date with me today, didn’t you?” Haizaki stops with a raised brow to try to recall before his grin grows wider at you.

“My bad. So I did,” he hums. “Then,” he turns to the brunette, “After the shower, I’ll be with (y/n), yeah? You’re more than free to join, though.”

“Whaaaat?” You tilt your head at him. “We agreed to go alone together, geez…”

Kise merely tunes you out from that point on, no longer interested in you and whatever shit you were going to spew out. Anyone involved with Haizaki like that isn’t good to begin with. He slowly walks to use the exit on the opposite side of the gym to avoid the group for good measure.

She’s just like the rest of them. He yawns.

———

Another day, another practice. Even after Teiko destroyed Meiko in the national finals, there is no excitement buzzing among the basketball players from such an accomplishment, when such wins are simply obligatory and frequent.

“Midorimacchi? Where’s everyone else?” Kise enters the gym nonchalantly but stops to do a double take to see half the room empty. It’s supposed to be another regular day of practice isn’t it?

Midorima pauses, his hands on a plastic bottle before he narrows his eyes. “Those fools chose to ditch.”

Fools? Kise widens his eyes. “You can’t mean…”

“I don’t understand their way of thinking,” he continued, putting down the bottle before picking up the ball. “Those who don’t do everything humanly possible within their limits—I can’t be friends with such people. Luckily, my soulmate will not be the same.”

Soulmate?

“Aominecchi and Murasakibaracchi? And hey, where’s Akashicchi?”

“Quiet,” he says, going into a shooting position with the ball in his left hand. “You’re ruining my focus, nanodayo.” He shoots a half-court shot. All net, as always… nothing less from Teiko’s shooting guard.

“I’m serious,” he slightly sulks, eyeing the ball bouncing out of the court before looking back at him. “I don’t know what’s going on here.” Midorima, sensing the serious tone, turns back as he adjusts his glasses.

“Kuroko quit yesterday. Akashi is most likely gone regarding that. Though, I doubt losing Kuroko would make a huge impact to the starter lineup. Despite that, I believe Akashi wanted to be thorough and make sure there’s a temporary sixth man installed in the meantime.”

Kurokocchi quit? Well, it’s not a big deal. It’s almost the end of our 3rd year here anyways… before we graduate.

Kise further raises a confused brow. “And what’s with the soulmate comment? Did you already…?”

“Obviously not.” Midorima frowns at his insinuation. “It is far too soon for me to get one.”

“Then why do you sound so confident?!”

“Because I know,” he replies, closing his eyes briefly before looking down at the ball cart next to him. “… and trust that they’ll give me someone capable. Naturally, if I were to do everything possible on my end, that would only mean I would be granted someone of the same caliber in the future, nanodayo. There is no room for error or doubt.”

“Uh…” Kise merely gives a judgmental stare. “So I’m assuming you have a soulmate letter, and it told you this?” Midorima stops himself from shooting to stare at him incredulously, as if Kise was the most idiotic thing he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Of course not. I’m not opening that letter until the oha asa predicts the luckiest year for cancers yet.”

“I… wow.” That’s Midorimacchi for you, always the weirdo. Can’t believe he really thinks like that.

“You have no place to speak when you also are nowhere near to finding your soulmate, idiot.” He shoots the ball again. He grabs another one without looking at Kise, who’s currently no doubt giving him the look of a kicked puppy.

“I don’t believe in soulmates,” he grumbles. “Not anymore, anyways. It’s too annoying to think about.”

Midorima widens his eyes to stare at Kise, registering the foreign words coming from his mouth.

Midorimacchi, don’t look at me like that… can you blame me? It’s not that weird for a lot of people to think that, too.

Midorima merely sighs. “Say all you want, but you can’t deny the fates, nanodayo.” He goes back to ignoring Kise again, this time for good. I guess he finds that really strange on his end.

“Well…” Kise gives a heavy sigh of his own. “I guess I can get some drills in.”

———

Kaijo’s nice enough. Nothing’s really changed since becoming a 1st year here for a couple months. The campus might be twice the size of Teiko’s, and the basketball team isn’t that bad. Kasamatsu might be scary, though, but he has no real complaints about him. Well… he reconsiders the thought, feeling his lower back throbbing. Actually… he COULD try to lessen up on his kicks… But I guess he means well. He’s a bit too serious, though.

He still has plenty of complaints about girls following him around, but by now, he’s used to it. Call it a staple of Kise Ryōta, of some sorts. Kise of Kaijo… he thinks, remembering Kasamatsu’s lecture on his first day of scouting. It really does have a nice ring to it after all.

He smiles, recalling the new bonds he’s forged with his teammates these past matches. The Winter Cup is coming soon, so everyone’s buzzing with excitement and anticipation to take home 1st place this year. Kurokocchi might be right about doing what’s good for the team. I need to get stronger for our rematch. His simper only grows bigger.

Thinking about basketball and not worrying about the unnecessary things at hand is so liberating that he pretty much forgets the ordeal. (Like the business of soulmates, but he’s not thinking about that! That’s not even remotely in his consciousness, not one bit.)

Unfortunately for him, his smile is wiped from his face the moment he enters the gym.

“Heyah, heyah, heyah!” He furrows his brows in slight confusion at the voice, most definitely not belonging to any of his teammates. That sounds… familiar.

Your voice reverberates throughout the gym, but it seems like you have no regard for an indoor voice as your eyes sparkle (how creepy) at his teammates. And your own smile widens as seconds pass (definitely creepy). Kise’s frown becomes harsher when he finally recognizes you.

I don’t remember what she looks like… but that damn voice… wait a second—

Kasamatsu sighs at you, but he tries to keep a polite tone with you. Even so, anyone can sense how exasperated he is. “Sorry, look,” he says cordially, eyeing Kise at the door before turning his gaze back at you. “If you’re looking for Kise, he’s not here right now, and if you are going to wait for him, he’ll be occupied with practice from soon until hours later.”

You do that same head tilt you did back at Teiko. “But I’m not here for him.”

His teammates merely sweatdrop at your answer. Right, like anyone believes that. Kise takes a quiet step in to put his duffel bag on an empty spot, no longer even bothering to give you his attention anymore.

“Yeah, sorry.” Kobori steps in with an apologetic smile of his own. “If you want to leave any gifts, you can leave it with the coach.”

“No, no!” You widen your eyes theatrically, waving your hands around in front of your chest to emphasize your statement. “You misunderstand me, seriously!”

Kasamatsu, having enough of you, shoots an exhale before turning to yell to the other players, “Everyone! Start warming up! And don’t slack off, or I’ll kick your ass!”

“I’m not here for Kise,” your voice rings out loud and clear. “I’m here for Kasamatsu-senpai.” Everyone freezes at the mention of the captain’s name. What business did a 1st year have with a 3rd year? They spare a look in the captain’s direction, but even he’s caught off guard. Kise looks up at you from behind, a few meters away.

Does she even know that I’m actually here, or…?

“Because,” you say, a little too brightly. “I think you’re my soulmate, Kasamatsu-senpai!”

Said captain immediately chokes on air.

Every single person in the gym has their jaws dropped.

A few seconds of silence take over the gym.

“WHAT??????!!!!”

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leakyrocktarot · 3 years ago

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🌱🐼🌱𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘒𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘌𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘋𝘦𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘛𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘊𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶 🌱🐼🌱

The way a deity contacts you is special to that deity and will always find a way to you even if you ignore the signs at first, they will contact you until you figure out who it is and then you can decide whether or not you want to work with them.

Seeing very specific signs and synchronicities multiple times can definitely be a sign that someone is trying to talk to you, however it can be a spirit guide, entities, the universe, spirit, entities, so it's somewhat hard to tell if a deity is trying to contact you but after a while it gets easier. The first thing you want to do is pay very close attention to the signs that you are seeing . Specific signs relate too specific deities however some do cross over. For example a few signs a person who has the interest of Athena will see a lot of signs to do with hunting such as a bow and arrow, wolves, owls, snakes, armor, helmets, spears, especially things related to her mythology. With all of that being said, some signs do cross over for example Apollo, her brother also sports the bow and arrow, pythons, ravens, etc.

For the most part, the deity might visit you in a dream, a vision, or you'd see a lot more content about them like a random post about Thor on instagram, or a weirdly elaborate woven blanket with the likes of Zeus for sale at ross. Anyhow you look at it your deity will reach out to you in every way possible.

So now that you've figured out which deity is calling you, how do you answer them? Well first, you may want to look deeper into their mythology, many deities take that as an interest of you wanting to work with them, but don't be afraid the contract isn't signed yet. What you want to do is figure out what kind of deity they are, what they stand for, what they despise, what they specialize in, and especially any possible reasons for why they want to work with you. A perfect example is Loki, the god of mischief. He loves to cause chaos and minor (large) inconveniences to others but not without a cause. For the most part he would want to work with someone who is having a hard time in life I think especially in family matters. The most important thing to know about Loki is to keep him happy, basically by doing things he wants like lighting a candle or leaving him an offering at his alter. Of course doing your own research is more important that me just telling you what the gods are like because my version of Loki will definitely be a different version of your Loki because of our needs being vastly different.

So you've completed all of your research, what next? Next is vetting the deity. If you don't do divination, maybe this whole process isn't for you but if you do divination keep going. You're going to want to thoroughly vet the entity that is trying to connect to you because many lower vibrational spirits do attempt to trick people into contracts by disguising themselves as deities and that's not something you want to deal with. Use your cars, use the pendulum, use your crystals, use your crystal ball, use your scrying mirror, use all forms of divination and cleansing methods you have available to make sure that entity is for sure who they say they are. Don't be afraid of the deity losing interest, they see it as you being careful and are respectful of the process. Next is building an altar, again every deity is different and through your research you should be able to find instructions to build an altar but for learning purposes, my alter only requires the candle related to my deities favorite thing, an offering bowl or plate, a designated corner or table, and an offering of one of your deities favorite things. What you'd need to do next depends massively on the deity but starting off by praying to them is always a good start. Mention that you've seen their signs and have taken up an interest and state the honor of working with them. Light their candle and give them the offering. You'll know if it worked if you start to see the signs even more, when they reach out, or if you have a specific dream of them.

What next you ask? That's up to the deity! Next would come when they reach out to accept you, you will have the chance to tell them what you're looking for assuming they don't already know and they will begin working with you literally that second. A deity can help you gain confidence, make strides in your spiritual journey, and many other things as long as it aligns with who they are and what they do. As long as you make offerings, light their candles, and be respectful they will keep working with you. Once the goal is complete they will do some sort of a goodbye ceremony where they just- say goodbye, congratulate you on your progress and wish you luck and let you know that you can still contact them if anything. Usually a deity leaving is a very and I mean very emotional experience, and most people often bargain and cry which is ok that is your emotion but, keep in mind that they are not full gone they still watch over and protect you and while they may not be there they still are around. Some deities do stay for life, and some do get passed on to your children if you decide to have them and that just means that you are fully the child of that deity, not saying that the deity birthed you, but saying that your family has a long history of worshiping that deity.

As some ending notes I think it's good to list some of the benefits of working with deities, especially for those who have an affinity to the spirit world as in those who do honest divination, witchcraft, and people who can connect to the 5D.

Deities never judge. They never get jealous when you work with other deities they in fact encourage it however if two deities do not get along or their mythology clashes like Medusa and Poseidon keep them as far away as possible because so much as leaving their altar in the same room can be disastrous as they'd try to kill each other. They are highly specialized and can do wonders for your specific needs. They act as a magical buff for any spell or protection ward you do. They seek the wellness of their worshipers so unless they think you need to have a lesson they don't like to see you suffer therefore they will step in as much as they can.

Lastly, of course you can choose a deity you want to work with but if it is your first time working with deities or you aren't well versed in deity work, please do not go for high strung super strict and super demanding deities. Go for the more easy going ones because you are likely to make many mistakes your first go around and it's much better to have a forgiving deity instead of having a deity that if angered will have you swallowed whole by spiders in your sleep.

Have fun working with your deity and good luck on your journeys!

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2lim3rz · 2 years ago

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please i'm on my knees yandere Konrad

You read Haunter of the Castle, didn't you, anon? That fic is going to haunt me oh fuck can you guys please tell me why y'all love it so much??

Anyways.

Congrats! Congrats, you're- You're kinda fucked- Because here's how I view Konrad Curze. He'll go one of two routes or combine the two..

ROUTE 1:

This man.. Is unstable, we all know this. However, he's going to go down a terrifyingly similar road the Emperor and like 2 other primarchs would. What's this mean?

That's right! Congrats on your new home! Right by his side!

He doesn't know what these feelings are. He's got enough on his mind, after all. Now he has.. this.. This craving.. this need to be with you. And Konrad.. he doesn't give second chances

You tried to escape him when he found you. Try again? You'll find yourself without some very vital pair of legs. Perhaps an arm will be gone as well

If you tried from the start to.. ehh.. lets say pacify him so that you can y'know, stay alive? He's.. It's got weird effects

Alone and you give him kindness, he's a frayed string about to snap any second. The tension is so thick you couldn't cut it with a chainsaw if you tried. In public? He's snapping and would undoubtedly even break one of your bones on sheer accident

A Konrad Curze, in both scenerios, is torn between two extremes. The wants of kind affections.. and the instability he has always known. Konrad Curze is known for his brutality he knows gentleness in the form of handling delicate tools

A Konrad with the Yearning is perhaps one of the more dangerous of the Primarchs, since from what I gather this man viewed as if he had nothing to lose. He sought death and finally got it in the end. Now he has something to lose other than his 'genesons' and this?

Terrifies him in some deep way. This Konrad will take you everywhere with him, and when he can't, you will either be sedated or otherwise strapped down to one place.

He won't take chances. Not with his only beacon of brightness.

Not with his only treasure.

So this brings us to..

ROUTE 2

A Konrad with the Yearning now has something to lose.

This, of course, is VERY TERRIFYING for a man that has.. I think if I recall, basically has only seen 1 act of compassion

Konrad absolutely despises that

Congrats on your new victory of Konrad.. couldn't cope with his feelings and may or may not have purposefully accidentally killed you

On the plus side.. you're by his side every day as he carries your corpse with him. And when that begins to wither, he'll carry your bones

No matter what, you are his. You will never anywhere without him

#konrad curze #konrad curze x reader #primarch x reader #warhammer 40k #volatile hearts au #VHA #I had to research into Konrad again cause idk him as well as the other primarchs i tend to do #marking it as mature cause idk it has the vibes

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husbandohunter · 4 years ago

Text

Moments of Despair #1 [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]

Synopsis: “The man who was on fire and realized it too late.”

(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).

Albedo's despair

Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death, graphic depictions of violence perhaps

(A/n): Had these ideas for a while after reading @/serensama To Mourn series of another fandom. So much sorrow and feeling I just was inspired to write 😫

_______________________________________________

The moment you fell lifeless in Diluc's arms, he wanted to disappear.

It was raining again, he had always despised the rain. How it trickles down the slope of your cheek, like tears falling from the heavens. The sight of it mixing with your blood creating a thin stream of red rivers flowing beside him. They patter down obnoxiously because time didn't care, the gods don't care, the world didn't care. You were just a small fragile person to their eyes but to him you were his light. A candle that used to shine in his dark world was now dissipitated by the waters of reality.

Many droplets have passed and he was still holding you. Diluc could do nothing but stare. He hadn't shed any tears nor could he make a coherent sound. Perhaps it was because his tears have long run out when his father was held in the very same way. Or it was because he was heartless. He's usually told for being cold and indifferent. But the pain clenching in his chest was proof that he still had one (proof that it was still beating), much to his dismay. It would be better if he didn't.

So why can't he just look away? Your wounds, your bruised features, everything now etched so deep into the back of his conciousness that is was starting to awaken his worst nightmares. They were the source of the bile growing in his stomach. The irony stench filling up his nostrils felt so sickening. He couldn't turn away. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. As if reality had yet to register, or maybe he refused to accept it, Diluc helplessly gazed down your body with blank and empty eyes.

"Master Diluc..."

Jean's voice called out to him pitifully. He rises up with his back turned, ignoring the stares given to him, "Leave. The knights of favonius are not needed here."

"But she's a Mondstadt citizen," The anemo user retorts, slightly taken aback by his impassive reaction, "It's my responsibility to ensure this case doesn't go unnoticed."

Unnoticed. Diluc scoffs in his mind, what a tasteless joke.

"It seems you weren't listening," he announces as his head was turned ajar so they could see the deep hatred glowing red in his eyes, "Leave. Now."

Jean's lips trembled before barely being able to say, "Alright" and retreating her knights back to the city. Kaeya narrows his gaze at his bother, the sorrow was evident through his pupils. He steps forward until he was arms length away from his brother. Too little too late, another failure was added to the belt.

Kaeya was a man of many words but for once he was at loss of what to say. No underhanded suggestions, no ideas taunting him to spill his thoughts, he simply asks Diluc, "What are you planning to do now?"

Silence. Kaeya couldn't predict what sort of expression his brother was making as he looks at your corpse. It brought a heavy weight of unsettlement upon him and here he thought he had already grown used to his brother's quietness.

Slowly, he turns around while letting the water pour down his face. Kaeya tightens his jaw as Diluc drags his feet towards him, stopping when their shoulders were parallel, "It's none of your concern."

"You're just going to leave her here?"

There was a slight pause which was enough of an answer. The Cavalry Captain sighs when he watched him walk away, what was the point of asking when Kaeya knew Diluc so well? He glances at your form before swiftly shutting his eyes.

It was his concern.

-------

A week later, the staff of the Ragnvindr household could hardly recognize their Master's appearance. They knew not to bother him when he decides to lock himself in his chambers. Diluc drowns himself with work from hours to no end as he connects the findings of the person that took your life. As expected, it was one of his enemies- a fatui member. The question was, which one?

"Master Diluc, I beg of you, please take care of yourself," Elzer pleads.

The pyro user didn't bother to spare him a glance or look at the tray of food he carried.

Food...you always brought them whenever he had to work overtime.

"I do not remember specifiying anyone to be allowed in my office," he voices aloud, "If it's related to business affairs simply leave that with Adelinde and I'll take a look at it tomorrow."

"I understand. But you've been working all day and night yet refusing to take any breaks in between. At this rate, you'll harm your health."

The feather pen in his grip kept dragging it's course, "This is beyond the duties assigned to you Elzer."

"That's because it was a request sent by your father," he adds, knowing that stepping over his boundaries may cost him, "If Master Crepus was still here, I'm sure he would have said the same thing."

Taking a deep breath, Elzer lays out his last card, "And also your wife."

The pen slows into a halt.

No one had brought you up until now. Elzer anxiously watches his Master shifting in his seat, his red bangs covering half of his face but he could still see the frown pressing firmly on his lips. It wouldn't be a surprise if Diluc suddenly bursted at him for mentioning such a sensitive topic, all that matters was his master's well being and Elzer was willing to risk everything for it. But nothing. Diluc turns his attention ever so slightly at the tray he carried.

"Fine, but I'm not eating that."

"What? Wasn't this was her favourite-"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

Elzer furrows his brows before sighing, "...No, Master Diluc."

He exits the room while carrying the fresh dish of Once Upon A Mondstadt that you loved so much. The door closes with a soft click and he was alone again.

People found it strange how Diluc seemed so vacant to your passing. He didn't even show up at your funeral. Instead, he continues his duties as a Mondstadt nobleman like usual while taking care of business matters associated with the winery. Except those who were close to him could see the difference in his actions. Apathy, he was so mechanical in every task he did. Like a marionette attatched on strings, a doll without a soul. After all, his soul died the moment when yours did too. What remains was a shadow of Diluc and a being existing solely for revenge and duty. He was nothing but a remnant.

Fatigue begins to wash over him and he fights to stay awake. Because once he gives in it will all be over. Once he closes his eyes, he would see your face with a multitude of images from the past. He would hear your voice calling out his name from a distant space as it echoes off the walls of his mind. He would fall into a dream where you were still with him and as always, waking up to see that it was never real.

I should have pushed you away.

Because what hurt Diluc the most wasn't that you were gone, rather, it was how you were still here.

Then you'd still be-

Something breaks and it turned out to be the pen he was holding so tightly. Only now Diluc realized how fast his heart was thrumming as beads of sweat began rolling down his forehead. Focus. Don't waste time. He won't grant himself the liberty of anything when your murderer was still on the run. Every wound they inflicted on you was going to be returned in tenfold. He'll make sure of it. That's why, he refuses to think about you at all. Diluc occupies his mind with other matters since at this point, work was the only efficient method of keeping his sanity in tact.

She needs you to focus.

The door opens and Kaeya enters the room while holding a document, "We found the guy."

His reaction was immediate, "Where?"

"Hm, now that we meet, it's actually quite debateable," The captain notes wryly, "When was the last time you've gotten proper rest?"

"I don't have time for this, either you tell me or I'll do it by force."

Kaeya couldn't help but sigh, "Apologies but you don't seem to be in any state for a fight. I'm sure you know how it would end up if you were to face your enemy right now."

"..."

"Diluc, this isn't healthy," Kaeya asserts, it's been a while since he sounded so sincere, "I'm not here to prevent you from doing what's necessary however, perhaps it would be better if I finished it in your stead."

"No," Diluc stubbornly answers, "Hand that over."

"...Heh, then there's really nothing I can do to stop you it seems," he whispers with a sad smile, "At the very least, be careful."

"I intend to," The pyro user snatches the paper parchment out of Kaeya's hands before opening the window, "Also, if Elzer returns, tell him there's a few errands I have to take care of."

The night was a full moon and the sky was empty, Diluc leaps off the edge and disappears into the darkness. There was no telling of what could happen next. Since you weren't here, it was up to Kaeya to watch over him.

-------

The claymore dropped to the ground with a clang as it soaks up the blood of the fatui he just killed.

Diluc was tired, so tired.

He slumps down against the wall from pure exhaustion, all that adrenaline and hatred went up in fumes, leaving behind whatever was left in his heart: nothing. Two hours, not even that far from Mondstadt, the fatui hid in an abandoned building as he cowarded for his life. When Diluc arrived, he never expected this monster to be so weak. This was the person who murdered you? A pathetic nobody that was simply following orders? This was the reason why he lost you forever?

In the end, the only one to blame was himself, for being weak and unable to protect you. He was supposed to be your hero ("Darknight hero," you'd always tease), the rock that shields you just as you had been the warmth he longed for many years, did he give you enough? Was this enough? He thought avenging your death would grant him a peace of mind and the justice you deserved but deep down, he knew it will never be enough when it comes to his love for you.

"Diluc."

He closes his eyes, he hears your voice. He was so tired, it wouldn't be a surprise if he started hallucinating.

"Diluc."

"I'm sorry..."

The man lets out a trembled breath as he apologized to the image of you in his mind. I'm sorry I failed you. They were repeated like a mantra in hopes to reach you somehow. Of course that was impossible, his feelings, his emotions, love and sorrow altogether will never reach you again. And your arms that once comforted him and brushed his hair with a soothing voice, saying everything will be okay, where are they now?

"Diluc."

"Stop," he didn't want to hear your voice.

"Diluc, I'm here."

"Stop..."

"Diluc..."

He jolts his eyes open and lets out a yell, what was he saying? He doesn't know. All he needed now was to drown out the fake voices mocking in his head. Diluc grabs the nearest object and shatters it against the floor, the dam was broken and it flooded uncontrollably, breaking everything in it's way. The abandoned house was filled with loud cries of a man sobbing with agony like a broken-hearted child. He crumbles to his knees and falls to his side, lifting his forearms while clutching his face.

And screamed.

Archons, what did he do to deserve this? Why do the people he cherish get taken away from him? Diluc never wanted to be the Darknight hero if it meant having his father perish in his arms. He didn't want the feeling of stabs against his chest with every breath he took. He didn't want to feel cold while knowing it was because you weren't here to hold him. He didn't want your voice, your pictures or your memory.

He wanted you.

"(Y/n)..." he chokes. Rolling to his back, Diluc moves his arms to cover his eyes, letting the tears run down to his ears, "(Y/n)..."

For who knows how long, he lays there in the abandoned building and mourns. Diluc doesn't have the strength to move from his position, he found himself staring mindlessly through the cracks of the roof when his voice had gone hoarse. The corners of his eyes still burned and his head was throbbing with so much pain. Maybe he should just stay here but the thought of being in the same room as your murderer was unfathomable.

Picking up his claymore once again, Diluc drags himself out of the door. Where would he go? It's not like he had a home to return to because home was when he was with you. A doll without a soul, the marionette moves as if the strings have commanded him to do so. Where ever it takes him, he didn't care. He just knew he had to go.

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larentsaloud · 3 years ago

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tigers in meteor garden

episode 11 thoughts

ok so I needed to get that out of my system, now I am ready to plunge. the episode opens as per usual, with the viewer being pulled towards the antagonist and they have done a good job at dragging us through hell to visit this place where talay and phuppa first met.

f4 has done it before, with lita for example, where they take us to the 'other side' to help us see things form another perspective. I for one did not wish to be taken to the anti f4 movement and have any empathy for anyone at this point, I think my emotional deadness never ceases to amaze me. maybe it's because I was so invested into the whole thyme x gorya dynamic I forgot thyme and f4 messed up a LOT of people. but thank goodness we were reminded that thyme was a twatnoodle, because it provided us with comparison on his growth.

anygays, talay's boo was bullied in episode 1 back when thyme was reigning the school with an iron fist. everyone figured at this point.

I was not expecting an almost twenty minute flashback to the past with vintage orange filter, but having had the time to think about it and now that my outrage has cooled I am semi-prepared to concede to the director's vision.

the similarities between the characters, such as talay and phuppa looking out for each other, willingly getting hurt to protect the other and their sweet perhaps queer coded relationship? idk? was a good parallel to thyme and gorya.

just from a simple observation you can tell t + p dynamic of bickering, compliments drowned in shyness and the overwhelming and tangible chemistry between the characters that they had something brewing.

I was mildly annoyed that I had to digest their story in order to get to the 'chair' part and the 'hospital' part, but actually I can see the value in the investment. talay, in his avenge against thyme becomes like thyme.

it is the age old, is everything fair in love and war question. I was thinking about this a lot, and to me, love and war have always been siblings, sisters perhaps. why? because the world depends on their existence. for different reasons. like we need love to stay alive, to grow etc and war is what the powerful use to repress development.

so talay catches thyme's weak spot in the war, gorya. and isn't it always the innocent who get hurt?

yet, she appeals to his humanity, to the side of him she has gotten to know, the caring side (gorya you are alone with this one, bestie I saw no humanity on him, nor did I see him as a good person. I guess the hot boi redemption arc is already occupied) and despite his efforts to brush her off, it is obvious he doesn't want her getting hurt and objects to her being roughed up by one off his disciples.

albeit a little late since they had all beaten her up at school? this is where I struggled to comprehend talay's logic, on one hand he despises thyme's violence; on the other he is using HIS methods.

like I said, do the means justify the end?

I could perhaps turn this around and write a long essay on the patriarchy, class system, social injustice, oppression of minorities...

and maybe we should, because while this is disguised as a love story, aren't most authors and artists trying to convey a moral lesson at the end of it?

thyme begs for forgiveness, going back to his last transgression, and is prepared to face the consequences. or so he thinks, although I cannot imagine my sweetheart thyme coping with correction facilities. tiger is the new black? I would watch it.

back to our couple.

kavin asks the million dollar question after they discuss the trap set up by talay.

you'll just go to gorya no matter what, right? yes because that girl officially owns his heart and soul.

and it's same for gorya, regardless of how hard she convinces herself, that she doesn't love him, at the end of the day she will go back to thyme and protect him. even if she had been the one to cast him out.

some people are wired like that, and gorya has been protecting everyone for so long, that this is her default. the hardest thing for her is to allow thyme to be the one to protect her. when he is laying on the ground and allows himself to be beaten up, she asks why isn't he fighting and he says the most important lesson he has learned.

silly girl, if I fight back, I'll lose.

thyme knows you can't end violence with violence.

eye for eye and now we are all blind.

but if silence is a form of violence too, then what measures are at thyme's disposal to fight back? or for that matter anyone who is trying to get justice? if I figure this out, I'll let you know.

it takes another prank to get gorya to confess to thyme, which is exactly what ren did to thyme few episodes back. I think for both of them, being vulnerable makes them uncomfortable. you can see it in the way that gorya starts a single handed pillow fight after telling them she loves him. but thyme has advanced here, and gorya is still learning. thyme is at his happiest, blissfully soaking up the words that the owner of his h&s loves him back.

I think the series portray unrequited love well. and there is a lot unrequited love in f4 / hana yori dango!

the scene back at his house.

I think my favourite moment was thyme stopping himself from covering gorya's mouth when she got too loud, because he has learnt the meaning of consent and he doesn't even dare to touch his queen, not even playfully. I think it's a mixture of shyness and restraint. it's cute and resonated with me a lot.

the awe mixed with happiness and contentment that was oozing out of both of them was extraordinary as they sat on the sofa. the romance was charged so much energy I could have screamed. pretty sure they could have kept half of this country on solar power from their exchanged smiles.

also, something very poignant in the way gorya's name appears onto necklace first. and when she smiles and promises to be there for him. it's utterly stunning turn around for them. the enemies to lovers trope truly being done justice here.

as for the moral and ethical problem of f4. I have said it before, they urgently needed a new CEO and revamp their methods. gorya has shook them up and changed them, but ultimately they did the leg work themselves.

my only concern is the slightly unrealistic backing down of talay, who would most likely still be reeling watching struggle so much doubt very much he would lay down his guns, merely because thyme begged and apologised.

having said that.

the power of forgiveness lies in acceptance. and it's not that when you forgive you accept the wrongdoing, but accepting the situation and choosing to move on, to be free from is why forgiveness is so powerful.

once you stop being the victim, you can rise above the injustice in other ways. or so I am told.

look this is turning super philosophical but this is what happens when you trigger my weakness! you should have given me thyme and gorya kisses and then I would not have to go all 'I hate capitalism, but also there isn't any other utopia available to which I woful subscribe'.

so there.

sorry this is a mess. I hope we get those kisses soon as I am inches away from suing f4 thailand and sending them my therapy bill.

this weeks highlights

analysis of thyme’s 🐯 pyjama x

analysis of Thyme's apology x

analysis of f4 characters x BDSM spectrum x

#f4 thailand boys over flowers #f4 thailand #f4 #thyme x gorya #tu tontawan #bright vachirawit #episode 11 spoilers #episode 11 summary #analysis #this week's pinned post I guess

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everafterkeiji · 4 years ago

Text

Song: drivers license by Olivia Rodrigo

Summary: How the flashing lights in the street bring you to the moment that was once yours and Oikawas.

Parings: Tooru Oikawa x fem! reader

Word count: 7.3k

Genre: angst

A/N: fuck it honestly, self control we don't know her boo, pls be careful with the flashbacks and little details, enjoy pt. 1 <33

"Can't you give me just one more kiss?" Oikawa begs, leaning his arm behind your seat as you see his irresistible pout resting on his lips. You chuckle before leaning close to him and him copying your actions.

Lips lingering with each other, as he removes his arm behind you to ghost upon your cheek. It was so intoxicating, a distance too great that was covered in tension. He glides his finger through your lips before resting it on your chin.

"Run away with me."

He states, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead to yours with a shaky sigh, his hand now running through the hair from the back of your neck. You smile at his words, caressing his arm, shutting your eyes like he did, embracing his warmth in his car.

"And we'd go everywhere?"

"Everywhere, any time, you name it babe." He whispers with desperation in his tone. This close. Why can't he hold you like this forever? A tear nearly escapes his eye as he cherishes your touch. Why did he have to lose contact with his true self?

He opens his eyes to see yours closed and in full serenity. He bites his lip before allowing the tears to cast down his cheeks. He tried not to sniffle so you'd let this moment last without any trace of pain.

"In that case, I'm not driving."

You joked, making him let out a soft laugh as he wipes his tears before you can see. Instead, he leans in finally breaking the distance between you two. You kissed back, not knowing his cheeks were tear stained as he lets his lips tell his apology. This wasn't him, this wasn't a kiss that could last more than once.

He hesitantly pulls away as you caress his cheeks as he leans into your touch, melting in the skin he's adored every inch of. He takes in the way you stared at him, the lights of the passing cars glowing on your face as his hands shakes at the sight of you.

He wished the silence wouldn't give out how painful it was to watch you like this, so with a disguise, he smiles.

"You'll be able to in the future." He says, earning him an ache to surround his heart. You intertwine your hands with his, your thumb assuring him since you've noticed a change in his aura.

"Maybe, but it's still you and me right?"

His eyes wander around his car, reminiscing on each memory that you've made in just a vehicle. Every moment where you'd leave the window open, freedom in your clutch. Every time your voices were close to being gone from furiously shouting the lyrics. All the times you'd rather sleep in his car and run from your problems. Even the random placements of clothes from the two of you, to scattered photographs and snack wrappers.

Just one more, Tooru.

"You and me, love. That's all it takes. "

You let your head rest on his shoulder as he turns on the engine, surprising you with your hands still intertwined with his.

"What'd you say babe? One last drive?"

You nod happily as he chuckles looking at you before driving, his facade weakening with every mile.

One more.

"Pick up, Tooru!" You shout, aggressively clicking the button on your phone as each call was heard with his voice mail. You threw the phone to the floor as you let out a scream, your throat begging you to stop torturing yourself.

"Pick up!" You scream once again before lying down on the bed, not giving a care that your sobs echoed outside his apartment. Your cheeks were warm, with heavy eyes and mascara staining the pillow cases. Tears nonstop with the crumpled paper in your hand. Shaking uncontrollably as you denied what he's done.

Running to your door, the breeze greeting your legs since you wore his hoodie to sleep and little shorts to cover the weather. Frantically turning left and right to reach the entrance of the building.

You let your hand cover your mouth as you see his car nowhere in your sight. You gripped on the handle of the door to steady yourself from falling, with your sob catching the attention of strangers.

"Y/N! Fuck- I'm here- hey I'm here."

Clouded with water, you barely recognize the person who was hugging you tightly. Falling to the rough surface of the ground, he joined you in your downfall and it seemed that nothing made sense anymore. The noise of the world drifted far from you as the only sound that replayed was his words, and you despised it.

How come it was only you?

"Y/N- I got you, it's okay now." Iwaizumi whispers but you shook your head punching his back as you fell into a state you didn't know Oikawa could put you in, solitude.

Iwaizumi hated hearing you cuss at the universe. It still scares him the way the color was drained out of your body when he saw you got out of the apartment looking like an absolute tragedy. Your punches felt numb to him but he couldn't ignore how painful it was to hear you scream Oikawa names, and for him to desperately come back.

"W-why-" You couldn't form the words properly since you were having trouble breathing. Iwaizumi carried you in his arms since he noticed your knee had been scraped, as he tried his hardest not to fall in rage for his best friend.

"I'll be here. C'mon, let's calm you down yeah?" He assures you making you nod, left with no energy but what remained was your heart torn by the person you loved the most.

You woke up to Iwaizumis voice making you shift in the sheets, mistaking him for your Tooru. When you opened your eyes, you didn't see your favorite pair of brown eyes instead you were face to face with the same hue but a different person.

"Y/N- hey I got somewhere to go to today but I made breakfast, is that okay?" He asks softly, a comforting hand to your shoulder. You nod as he smiles standing up to open the curtains now that you were wide awake.

"Thank you, Hajime." You bid him as he sits down on the bed, beside you. You turn to where he is and stare at him, overwhelmed with how he chose to stay.

"I'll be gone for half the day." He states as you sit up slowly, rubbing your eyes.

"I've never seen a birds nest this up close before." He jokes making you glare at him before punching his shoulder as he laughs.

"Says the fucking spikey ass hair." You threw back as he laughs, delighted that your past self was resurfacing every now and then.

"What about you? Don't you have any plans today?" He asks as you check your phone. You sigh as you saw the reminder on your phone as he takes a peak and his heart drops at it.

"It's nothing."

"You have to go. "

"It doesn't matter anymore."

"Okay now put your foot here babe." You obeyed Oikawas words as he pecks your cheek. Before you could insert the key in, he stops you. Questioning him, he turns to you with a smug smirk before leaning close to your lips.

You expected him to kiss you the way that he does but instead he pulls away before strapping you in, putting your safety first before kissing you. He laughs at how you were clearly upset that he lead you on. He strapped himself in as well.

"You'll get that kiss if we make it out here alive." He jokes as you gasp in betrayal, making him stick out his tongue, still taunting you.

"I'm kidding baby! But you will get that kiss when we reach that pole over there." You glanced to where he was pointing as you sighed in relief at how easy it was. Turning on the engine, he smiles at how eager you were to succeed.

"Then I'll get us there."

"Y/N-" he bites his lips before he could throw you something he'd regret. You look to him, wondering why he became silent. Clicking in your mind that he's being careful with his words since Oikawa left, you leaned your head on his arm.

"I know, Iwa. I'm sorry." You apologized so suddenly, surprising him that you'd catch up on his behavior. He shakes his head before wrapping his arm around yours, just like he always would.

"I know how much this means to you. Hate me for saying this, but he'd be proud to see you get it." He says, making you smile at how honest he was. If he were here, he'd immediately bring you to your favorite restaurant and go all out just because you aced it. To others, it'd look like another step into growing up, learning how to drive and how to maintain the quality of the car.

It wouldn't be this important if his words didn't paint you perfect memories.

"You know what makes me so excited?" Oikawa asks as you continued to run your fingers through his brown locks. His head was laid on your lap as he draws constellations in the air, smiling to himself.

"What is it babe?"

"I'll get my drivers license." You whispered as Iwaizumi pats your hair, happy that you managed to push yourself through that cloud of sorrow.

"Okay that is extremely random, Tooru." You chuckled but he shakes his head before sitting up to meet with you. Slowly, he pulls you into his lap as you wrap your arms around his neck as his hand loosely finds its home to your waist.

"We don't have to wait anymore, think about it." He asks making you focus on what he's hinting to. Once he realizes you couldn't figure it out, he chuckles before pulling you to him gently. Your heart beating too quickly for you to even realize that it felt normal for you to be this dangerously close to him.

"We can come home to each other."

At first you questioned why he was so worked up in teaching you how to drive and finally getting your drivers license, but now it was too clear for you and you hated it.

"Call me when you get it ok? Maybe by dinner we can celebrate?" Iwaizumi suggests as you nod, genuinely smiling that he was there to celebrate with you. You immediately wrap your arms around him as he does the same, closing his eyes, proud of you.

"You got this." He whispers as you embraced him longer, desperately wanting to cry at how thankful you were for him. Iwaizumi feels a flush to his cheeks as he pulls away, fearful of the pace of his heart.

"Well don't get my shirt wet with your tears again- I need to look presentable!" He jokes make you wipes your eyes as he smiles when he hears your laugh.

Hajime: I'm sorry I can't make it tonight, Y/N. I'll promise I'll make it up to you by morning.

That was the message that was sent to you hours ago yet here at 11pm, you were staring at the movie in the ceiling. Oikawa insisted buying a projector for the two of you to enjoy movies in the comfort of your own space. So using it now felt nostalgic remembering how much he loved this movie.

Sighing, you sat up as you lift the drink to your lips, relieved at the sensation of alcohol entering your mouth. It's been a while since you've got a hold of it. Iwaizumi being protective of the amount you could consume while he was gone so he kept the alcohol cabinet away from you. He promised that he'd allow you to drink once a month because he was indeed worried for your health if you allowed yourself to drink everyday.

On this day, you chose to ask him if it'd be okay to drink. Understanding the pain that you were in, he agreed. Before he went away, he got the key and unlocked the cabinet handing you your favorite drink. You thanked him as usual, now being satisfied with being alone with a bottle of liquor that could temporarily drown the pain.

Hearing a smack from where the projector was set up, the bright lights of the ending movie flashed through your eyes so you shield yourself from it. You immediately turn your back to the projector that was now facing you since it's lost it balance from your previous angle.

The credits rolled in as you reached for your laptop to stop the screening but then another video plays, making you read the date of the video.

"Hello! Unfortunately I'm still here in the car but I'm making this video as proof if I died, it's because of my girlfriend right here who can't drive properly."

It's him.

Turning your attention to the video playing in front of you. You scoot to the left so your silhouette doesn't create a barrier while you watched.

You had a hand to your mouth, lost at words for this unexpected video to play. His voice immediately brought you to tears as you gripped the pillow beside you as your laughter in the video echoed in the background.

"For the record- I'm learning so get this camera away from me, Tooru!" You defended yourself as Oikawa looks at the camera before rolling his eyes.

"On this episode, I'm teaching her how to park! So wish me good luck- maybe prepare a casket for my car." You immediately slap his shoulder as he lets a loud laugh. He sets the camera in a better landscape angle.

You smiled at his teases. It struck you how much you missed his little remarks that would always make your day. Wiping the tears from your eyes, you watched the way he looks at you as you tried to figure out which direction to turn to. His stare was one of the things many people wished they could experience.

A look as if you were the reason they believed in love and how endless it was.

Surprisingly, in your last drive, he still looked at you the same way.

Your chest tightens as you fell for his illusion. It felt like it'd be an eternity for you to move on from how he looked that night. You should've asked him why a tear landed on your clothes, why was his fingers cold and trembling? You thought that his kiss felt like the one you'd receive when you finally hear the priest bid you two as husband and wife but it was a kiss that held farewell in secret.

"Would you look at that! I'm alive and barely a scratch on my car so far- good job baby!" He cheers engulfing you in his arms. You swarmed him in sweet and tiny kisses as he giggles at each one before placing a delicate to your lips, closing his eyes as you pull him closer placing your hand on his cheek.

You wondered if there was something that could hold you back from how much you allowed yourself to endure the pain this long. Moving closer to the wall, your chest heavily coming up and down, difficulty in finding a way to breathe properly.

Kneeling to reach him, you let your hand touch the wall as your hand lands in Oikawas face as he laughs at something you said in the video. You felt how you closed your eyes and reminiscing on what it felt like to hold him in your hands again. His soft lips, his skin that warms you up during your cuddles, his hair that would be snuggled in your neck when he embraced you.

"I love you, Y/N."

He says, leading you to sob as you turned away from the wall, the light of the projector passing through you as you dropped to the bed with knees to your chest, the walls of the room was familiarized with your cries again.

You felt every part of you crumble as you continued to scream, having another miserable night. You'd rise from your knee from time to time to gasp for air from the unstable breathing.

You felt like a stranger to him.

That alone was enough for you to be swallowed by darkness once again.

How careless was he to assume you'd give him a call?

You're probably out with Iwaizumi celebrating and driving freely with him. Oikawa sighs as he removes the reminder from his phone as he takes another punch to the steering wheel as he feels the irony hit him that he's jealous of his best friend.

For someone who has been with you since you went to Aoba Johsai, Iwaizumi would've been perfect for you, Oikawa thinks. To keep you grounded, to take his position in making you the happiest.

He's everything Oikawa is but the difference is that Iwaizumi was the one who could give you more, and importantly, he stayed.

And nothing scared the setter more than to lose you to a person that can truly love you more than he ever could.

Though it feels like he's defeated already.

"Sir! Good morning, this is Oikawa from room 104?" He greets through the phone as the man smiles fondly at the sweet boy who he's seen chasing around in the hallway with his girlfriend.

"Ah! Mr. Oikawa! I barely see you nowadays what happened?" Oikawa sighs, running a hand through his hair, debating on what answer to give to the landlord.

"I've been okay sir, I just called to ask about the payment due-"

"No worries Oikawa-kun, the man took care of it for this month!"

Man?

"E-excuse me sir?"

His heart was beating too loudly at the sudden information. What man? He feels sweat rushing to him, heavily anxious of what happened to you and his apartment.

"Hajime was it? Ah anyway he's covered it this time!"

Iwaizumi?

It felt as if he was struck down by force as he drops to his couch with his mouth agape and eyes widened with his heart raging too fast for his liking. He let out a gasp, putting each piece into its place as he feels a swift of the threatening atmosphere surround him, along with anger.

"H-he's my friend sir- does he stop by often?" He asks, biting his fingers in anxiousness. With his other hand, he reaches for a pillow, gripping it tightly like he'd want it to collapse in his hand.

"Often? He lives there silly. I was honestly surprised you'd let him but I guess young love isn't for everyone, son."

He didn't even notice that he's thrown the pillow all the way across the room as he stands up, his phone held tightly in his hands, wanting nothing more than to be slammed to the floor but with sourness in his tone, regret in his heart then he replies.

"You're right."

After that day, even if it's been months since he was informed, he chose to feel numb but there was a tug on his heart at the thought of Iwaizumi taking care of you. You deserved every ounce of effort that the ace gives you. Oikawa is more than thankful that Iwaizumi was there to wipe your tears and embrace you since he was the one to cause you this overwhelming amount of pain.

But he didn't expect this.

"Iwa-chan, how are you?" He asks with envy hidden from his true intentions of calling him. Iwaizumi stretches, tired from the workout as he answers the boy.

"I'm tired. What about you?" Oikawa lets out a mocking laugh as he leans on the couch, hands behind his head but both hands were formed into fists as he converses with him.

"I'm sure Y/N is there to patch you up huh?" He exclaims making Iwaizumi sit up, nervous at the outburst but then he looks at the apartment, seeing your sleeping state on the couch, and he sighs. Oikawa was bound to know sooner or later.

"I'm sorry Oikawa but-"

"Hajime that's my apartment!"

"And she was your girl wasn't she? But where are you right now!"

He was at lost for words, like the life of him was knocked out of him, deeply taking in Iwaizumis words. It was unhealthy with how much he was shaking and how he felt so cold and empty. On the other end, Hajime bites his lip, suddenly regretting his words but he can't turn back knowing it struck a nerve to Oikawa.

"Oikawa, listen to me." Iwaizumi starts as the setter was left to no other option then to obey since he couldn't think of anything else to respond to him.

"I know you love her but you're never going to be there for her. You asked me to go to her when you left and it's been a year. I know it's a dick move to move in with her but I don't trust her when she's alone. If you ask her, it feels like it's been forever so I'm just- being there for her cause she needs me."

He hated how right he was. If he would be honest, leaving you alone would be the least appropriate thing to do. All he can hear was your screams and imagining the way you look made his heart throb with too many emotions.

What made him lose was the fact that he can come back with hundreds of medals, but he'll never have you.

And Iwaizumi was more than ready to win.

He was surprised to see you awake at 12am but seeing how distraught you were, he couldn't help but want to end the day with you smiling or at least a reaction where he'd feel his heart flutter at the sight of it so he sighs before asking.

"Wanna go for a drive?"

The question that left you with so much trauma, sounded so soft when Hajime said it bringing a new feeling to it. It didn't sound like an unfulfilled promise and you nod to him knowing he could never hurt you the way Oikawa did.

Maybe it was best for you to escape the apartment.

Spending time with Iwaizumi as you drove around made you realize that there was a world where you can enjoy life without wondering about him.

Or maybe because it was suffocating.

Being in your apartment and Iwaizumi moving in with you was something your heart can never handle. To this day, you couldn't put into words how you despised that Iwaizumi had to care for you so much, even letting him living with you for a year. You admired the way he's known you since high school and now that you all had to choose different paths but he still took the one that had you in it since Tooru left you stranded.

With every tear that left your eyes, he was one step ahead to wipe them away and comfort you with his embrace. His patience when he sees you passed out on the couch from binge watching a series you were never really interested in, even to bringing you to random events just to spark your interest like you had back in school. Taking the time for you to fully open yourself to him by sharing your memories with Oikawa and why you've gained an attachment to his white car that held too many memories for you to just let go instantly.

At first, Iwaizumi wanted to laugh at how simple it was. What was so special about these late night drives and basic driving lessons from him? Wasn't that just one of the little things included in a relationship?

But then he sees the way you'd always ask him to put the windows down and how you preferred driving at night, driving without a specific location. Even when you'd clung to the seatbelt when he'd drive in the rain. He was more than curious. There were so many questions in his head but he had to give you some space knowing these memories course through your heart and mind everyday.

Now looking at you as you leaned on the seat with a solemn look on your face, he realizes how heavy it was for you to drive like this, without him by your side.

"He's proud of you, you know?" Iwaizumi whispers as you shift your body to face him, leaning your head on the seat.

"If only that was true." You whispered as he shakes his head before hesitantly sets his hand on your knee as a way of reassurance.

"I never understood it at first but now I guess it makes a fuck lot of sense why you didn't wanna get your drivers license." He comments, making you nod drunkenly.

"Because what's a journey without him?"

Iwaizumi then shifts his body like you did, fully invested in whatever you had to say feeling like this was finally the moment where you'd let him just how bad were those memories embedded in you.

"He used to say- that the best part of getting my license was that distance can never be a problem but says the asshole who's fucking miles away huh?" Iwaizumi knew that even if it was a joke, you held nothing but the truth. He sees the way your eyes didn't hold a sparkle anymore when Oikawas name was mentioned or just the sight of him. You didn't look like the lovesick fool back in high school, that made Iwaizumi realize how love makes such an impact on a person.

"I don't even know who to come home to anymore."

"You have me."

Iwaizumi boldly confesses as your eyes gaze at him, wide eyed at his statement. How come it held something that you could never figure out? Realizing that he held his heart in his hands, he switches the tone of his voice, finding it hard to fight the urge to be real with himself.

"As your friend, idiot. Plus, I don't trust you around cup noodles." He adds, trying to clear the tension that surrounded the two of you. Smiling at him, you close your eyes, wondering why it felt right to be in this moment. You felt your self drown in intoxication as you took him by surprise as you let your hand rest on his cheek as Iwaizumi flinches at the sudden contact but finds himself accepting it, ignoring the pleas of his thoughts to back away.

"Don't fall in love with my broken pieces, Hajime. You deserve someone who is- complete."

You let a tear slip from your eyes as it mixed with exhaustion as Iwaizumi lets out an anxious breath as he takes in every word you said.

Yet there he was picking every piece of you wherever you went, admiring each of them.

Before he could answer, he felt your hand slip away from his skin and he turns to see you asleep. He gently puts you back in your seat, putting on your seatbelt as he frustratedly runs his fingers through his dark hair as he feels the trembling of his fingers. Hands to the steering wheel, gripping it knowing he's betrayed his own promise.

Opening his phone to check the time, what flashes before him was a photo of the three of you when you graduated. He sees Oikawa with a hand to your waist, grinning brightly at the camera while you had your eyes closed with a smile, holding out a peace sign. His eyes linger on Oikawa before he watches over your figure on the passenger seat.

Lastly, he throws his head back before glancing at Oikawa in the picture, closing his eyes before painfully whispering to himself.

"I've never felt this way for no one."

He then shuts his phone as he turns on the engine, hoping that this isn't the night where he'll regret leaving his heart open.

"Don't overthink it." Iwaizumi whispers as you sniffle in his arms, he let his hands play with your hair as he removes the phone from your hands. Why did it have to be so early? It's 10am, both of you were utterly exhausted from the night before, one of you experiencing a heavy hang over, and the other just extremely tired from his racing thoughts.

Unfortunately, Hajime found you sat up frantically on the bed as he quickly stepped in just to see an image of a post from one of Oikawas fan pages. Spotted in multiple places were the one and only Oikawa Tooru, accompanied by a certain blonde. Captured in photos were segments of them in a café holding hands, smiles plastered on either lips. Which lead him to sit beside you and embrace you, seeing that your luck was purely running out.

You hated how in each photo, he looked painfully happy. Even if you were meant to skip the photo, how could you when this was real evidence that he's promises were turning into thin air the more you look at it. After a year of constant aches and wasted tears, here he was smiling, which you envied until the end.

"God- she's tall, gorgeous, I can never-" Iwaizumi shushes you as you wiped you tears as they continuously ran through his sweats. Iwaizumi leans his head on yours, sighing as he prepares himself, wishing that you'd realize that not enough words were there to describe how beautiful you were.

"Don't try to tell yourself that you can't compare to her- because you're all he could ever want. "

"Shit, I'm so sorry. " Iwaizumi says as he watches a figure pick up the ball that landed next to her, a ball that was spiked by him, almost hitting her directly. You turn around, the ball in your hands with a smile.

"No it's fine!" You say but Iwaizumi was struck with the view of you. You hand the ball to him but the beating of his heart was as loud as fireworks during New Years. He knows you, of course he does. Oikawa never stops ranting about you anyway, showing him multiple photos of you, completely bragging about the fact that he's got you to himself.

And fuck- you were prettier than what the pixels display you in the setters phone, you had the ace momentarily blank at your presence.

How lucky. He thinks.

"Iwaizumi was it? I'm Y/N!" You reach your hand out as he smiles at you, taking in your hand shaking it lightly, as he stared at your eyes and admired the way your lips were tugged in a beautiful smile.

So this is her. He says to himself and the feeling washes away when Oikawa walks up to greet you with a kiss to your cheek. Turning away, he shrugs his shoulders returning to play.

She's his.

"Believe me that Oikawa can never look at anyone else the way he does with you." He puts your face in between his hands, wiping your tears as you sobbed holding onto his him. Iwaizumi wanted to scream at how the world kept pushing you through your limit.

Seeing the images felt like the universe added salt to your open wounded heart. It felt like your heart was progressively being tossed around like it was nothing. How come everyday felt like you weren't given a chance to be at peace? How come the moment you felt the tiniest amount of calmness was being in the car with Iwaizumi and then the next day you were back to zero all over again.

The image of yourself was already broken when you let yourself completely fall for the insecurities, but how can you rise from all of it? When it was clear that she was all you ever wanted to be.

"Hey, why don't we take a break? For real now, Y/N. Let's just put the phone down and- rest." Iwaizumi whispers, caressing your cheek as you closed your eyes, desperate to remove all trace of emotion. You wanted to blur out the world even for a second and Iwaizumi could promise you a silence worth more than you could ever want.

Your lungs were giving out, every muscle in your body, every function. It felt like any time you could collapse from the lack of sleep, the lack of proper nutrients, the lack of a smile. Your confidence was down to one as you held onto Iwaizumis words, drifting off into what he said before about Oikawa.

If all that he could ever want was you, how come you didn't feel like you weren't what he needed?

"You know that you're just being an asshole at this point, Tooru." Iwaizumi says as Oikawa sighs at the other end of the line. The blonde casually looks over to the setter as she takes a sip of her coffee. Oikawa leans on the pillow as he chooses his words wisely.

"How is she?" He asks, he can imagine the way Iwaizumi would roll his eyes, followed by a disappointed scoff. Oikawa knew the way your mind would work, and it never grew on him how every motion of his would bring destruction to you in any shape or form.

"What do you think? She's fucking crying again."

Even if there was a pinch to his heart, he simply took a deep breath to sustain how painful it was.

"Who is she, Oikawa?" Iwaizumi asks desperately. Oikawa turns to the girl sat in the dinner table as she meekly smiles unknowing she was the certain topic of the two best friends. The setter tiredly runs his hand over his face, wondering if there could be a way that he can exit without stepping on you and Iwaizumis heart.

"You owe me at least one explanation. If you can't give me one, then I'll be-"

"I'm ready. I'll tell you who she is."

And with the following sentences, the ace felt his ears ring along with a ruined heart.

Driving has never felt so rueful before but with every passing mile, all Oikawa wanted to do was stop and turn to where you were.

With a stab to his heart, he promised himself that he can never come back until he's found the silence in his mind.

"This is for us. I'll be better, Y/N. I'll come home to you- and I hope you can wait."

Those words may seem like they were directed to you but Tooru can feel himself stand small to his own declaration. He knows you're willing to wait for god knows how long, but he's indecisive if he has the power to wait for this emptiness that surrounds him.

He couldn't allow the rage in his soul to sit around and act like he's deaf to the screams of it. He needed to stop the sensation of his hands missing the way the ball was placed in it and how each serve leaves a breathtaking reaction on any crowd. The hole in his heart was too big enough for him to ignore, and he'd allow anyone to call him selfish knowing it was the inescapable truth.

Hearing all your voice messages to him the following morning had his heart begging for release. Every crack in your voice had him tipping over the edge. He deserved it- god he deserved it more than anyone else because he would have never heard such pain if he didn't book a flight to Argentina.

"Tooru, baby what happened? Please tell me this is a joke."

"Please fucking answer I need you- god Oikawa please!"

"Come back to me, Tooru- I'll do anything please."

"I love y-you, but I guess you've changed your mind huh?"

"Tooru, let's go home yeah?" A soft voice calls out for him as he averts his gaze to her. He sees how his bags were packed as well her tiny suitcase next to her, all dressed up to go. He stands up from where he is, gripping the handle of the luggage as the girl turns to him with such worry.

It was usual for the girl to awake him from his thoughts and he was thankful that she was brought to him, helping him in ways he could never imagine. She was a mere light in his street, a guide in his moonlight trips, and this was finally the moment to stop the waiting.

He takes a look at his apartment, before landing his eyes on the blonde girl who was tying her hair. He smiles fondly as he's felt the adrenaline to finally move again.

"Yeah, let's go."

TWO DAYS LATER ; 9:16PM

"Hajime, stop fucking around!" You laughed as you continued to drive. What a breather it was, to drive with somebody who brought warmth to the passenger seat. Previously, Iwaizumi tested your so called driving skills as he purposely flicks your forehead from time to time for no absolute reason.

You two were on your way home from a movie and Iwaizumi was the star that had grabbed your heart the entire night. He was pulling these jokes, making you cackle to no extent, threatening you that if you'd lose the arcade game one of you will have to forcefully wash the dishes for a week, of course both wouldn't back down.

Maybe for the first time, Oikawa has never visited your mind.

And damn did it feel good.

The part that you found pieces of yourself slowly gathering as you were introduced into a new way of light, it felt too good to be true. Felt like each piece was slowly coming all back together because Iwaizumi was the glue that got you together, it may take a long time to fully be fixed, but the ace proved to you his promise.

You're finally resting.

After the anger that rose above you, Iwaizumi stayed confident to his promise of finally giving you a break you well deserved. He fulfilled you days without technology to shield yourself from any knives from the social world, got you out of bed to watch the sunrise with you, left you places to visit while he was out for his internship. This was more than you could ever ask for.

It felt like flowers were decorating your lungs, heart was slowly being treated with a smile, and laughter that radiated growth.

All because of Iwaizumi.

Now there's a new feeling that has unlocked in your heart and you could feel the burn of it when you noticed how everything felt so light. Unlike before where every step felt too heavy for you to carry on, now that weight is being lifted off by Hajime.

And nothing feels better than that.

Inserting your hands into the pocket of your hoodie, you shivered in the nights embrace. Once Hajime has fallen asleep on the couch, you decided to take a stroll and your feet lead you to a place you've yet to visit in a year.

It was a walk meant for you to clear your head, to settle if everything was going to be permanent because you had to know which part of the moments you wanted to hold onto.

This was entirely a mistake- to stroll around his neighborhood like it was always welcoming you with open arms. All the things you wanted to decide on felt like it vanished once you became familiar with the turns of his car when it drove to this place.

This is where it all began. The lessons, the confessions, the blossoming of love, everything. It doesn't matter how many times you try to deny it, this place will always make your heart bleed at how noxious it was. You can never hate the way chills ran up your spine because of how they all rushed to your mind as fast as light.

It's truly a crime to despise how love is formed.

With the sight of his house, a smile creeps on your face remembering your last interaction in this household.

"This is my lovely, Y/N." He sweetly introduces you as you respectfully bowed but you were taken by surprise when you were hugged by his mom, making your boyfriend laugh at your crazed expression. You lose this tenseness when you felt how endearing she was as you gained courage to gently wrap your arms around her too.

"Welcome honey! I've been wanting to meet you so badly since this twat never shuts up about you." She says earning a pout from your boyfriend and a giggle from you. You turn to his dad smiling softly, as he reciprocates your gesture.

"Might as well get used to the house babe, you'll be an Oikawa soon."

You felt your heart clench with his words and you avert your eyes on the road instead. Finding it hard to sustain the bite of how it all turned into a pile of lies.

"No, mom! Please don't embarrass me like that."

You hear a voice shout out making you jolt from your previous stance.

Meanwhile, Iwaizumi awakens with a groan as his phone dings with every second. As he grumpily opens his phone, he was greeted by a flood of messages coming from a certain setter making him sit up and frantic to reach for you. Seeing your door that was wide open, he lets out a gasp as he fidgets for the door, cussing himself at the situation.

"Fuck, Y/N please no."

You suppressed your sobs with a tight hand to your mouth as you felt your feet gain the urge to ran away but your mind demanded you to stay to finally awaken you in this false hope you've been holding onto.

A silhouette of his tall now much more bulky figure was stood next to more of a petite on with hair tied in a ponytail. Wiping your eyes to sharpen your vision, it hit you like a grenade at war.

There he was, proudly introducing the girl that's haunted your dreams.

Oikawa was smiling brightly at her as you watched her look at him with the same expression.

He's right there with someone who isn't you and can never be you.

"You and me, love. That's all it takes."

"Tooru." You whispered as if you'd ever get the chance to let him notice your cries. God, it was unbearable. No words came to your mind, no beating of your heart, it was all gone because the only thing that will forever linger in your mind is the sight of the person you waited so long to come home to, has gone and found the perfect replacement.

Her.

Another glance meant like a sword heading straight to your heart in one swing so you finally decide to turn your back on something you knew you had to forget.

Love.

"Tooru, who is she?" His mom asks softly, not wanting to let the curiosity lace her tone knowing the smile on his sons face was an exact look he had when he had you.

"This is Himari." He glances to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, with his lips tugged into a smile, a genuine one that's been kept a secret for too long.

"My dear little helper." Oikawa jokes as Himari rolls her eyes as his parents grew more in confusion at the sight of this stranger.

"Help with what Tooru?"

"To get Y/N to live with me in Argentina."

#haikyu x reader #oikawa x you #oikawa angst #iwaizumi x y/n #hajime iwaizumi #oikawa tooru #haikyuu iwaizumi #haikyuu!!#hq oikawa #hq iwaizumi #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi x you #oikawa toru x reader #oikawa torū

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penwieldingdreamer · 3 years ago

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Dante's Prayer - Chapter 2

Another chapter for you guys, thank you so much for the likes and reblogs. Thanks to @fortheloveoffanfic for betaing again. Enjoy and let me know what you think.

Warnings: none

Words: 1582

Chapter 2

Amalie sat next to the vanity, watching the maid style her sister's hair. She had seen Mister Shelby, accompanied by his brother and Johnny Dogs, a friend of the family, and could already find the truth in the rumors spread about him. His eyes as cold and deep as the Atlantic in Winter and not even his smile could give them warmth. "Are you excited for the ball? Mother went all out, even a few cousins from Austria came to attend, móraí can't wait to meet the Shelbys."

"Do I really have to go? You know I hate balls and dancing." Saoirse whined, grunting as Doris pulled a curl too hard before she answered instead of the sister.

"Your mother wants you to meet your husband, miss, it won't do you good if you don't attend. Besides, I heard Mister Shelby is very handsome."

Snorting, the youngest of three heavily leaned her head on her hand, not sure what to think about all that swooning the two women were doing. "If you like him so much, why don't you marry him, Doris. I bet he wouldn't mind as long as he's had someone to warm his bed and take care of things he doesn't want to do."

"Now don't be that way, little sister." Amalie admonished, taking the pearl necklace their grandmother had given to Saoirse on her eighteenth birthday. "Who said anything about you warming his bed? That's what mistresses are for."

The comment was supposed to be in jest, yet it stirred doubt in the youngest daughter's heart. What if her husband would take another to bed? She despised the fact that she'd have to marry Mister Shelby, but she'd hate it even more would he take a mistress. Nothing was a worse fate in her mind than to shrivel away in a loveless marriage where both partners would do no more than sit across from each other and never utter a word.

"I do hope you were only joking, my dear." their mother's voice sounded sternly from the door to Saoirse's room. Her blonde tresses were swept back into soft finger waves framing her face and the small tiara their father gifted her, pinned to the top of her head. "The guests are waiting and you still aren't dressed for the ball."

Sighing, Helene motioned for Doris to fetch Saoirse's dress, while the lady of the house finished her hair and laid the pearl necklace around her neck. "Everything will be going smoothly and you'll see, you'll have something in common by the end of the night."

"What? That we both are forced to marry each other?" The youngest daughter turned to face her mother, feeling the anger rise again underneath her skin.

"You know your father and I are only looking out for you." Helene tried to reason with her daughter, her delicate hands tightly holding onto her shoulders. "I want you to be safe and if I have to marry you off to a man who can ensure that, then I will."

Clasping her own hand around her mother's, Saoirse let out a soft sigh. "I know, I'm sorry. The thought of having to live with a man I don't know and who doesn't know me made me anxious, I didn't want to upset you, mother."

Their eyes met in the mirror and even Amalie smiled at her mother and sister. Helene leaned down and laid a soft kiss on Saoirse's rose colored cheek. "You'll always have a home here, you know that. If Mister Shelby dares to only once lay a hand on you, I will have Johnny bring you back here and he will wish to have never been born."

"Thank you, mother." the youngest of three squeezed the hand on her shoulder, giving it a light kiss on the slightly wrinkled yet still soft skin.

"You're welcome, luv, but now get dressed before the guests think you ran away." Winking at her two daughters, the lady of the house left the room.

Amalie grinned at her sister, leaning back on her seat next to the vanity. "Well, I do hope that Mister Shelby will behave, it would be a shame to see his handsome face get scarred."

"I wouldn't know." Saoirse shrugged with a smile playing on her lips as she changed into her dress, the red silk and taffeta fabrics only slightly framing her body, keeping most of her curves hidden but giving the eye enough to be interested. "I haven't looked at the picture mother gave me. I didn't want to know the man that might ruin my life and freedom."

With a shake of her head, the oldest of three stood from her seat and helped her sister with the buttons on the back of her dress while Doris busied herself with taking the shift from the chair and cleaning up the slight mess around the room. “Well, little sister, you’re definitely missing out.”

"Miss, may I present the Shelby family from Birmingham." the butler told Saoirse, giving her a little bow as she saw the two men staring at her, no smile on their lips. Just their hard, cold eyes, as blue as the stormy Atlantic sea.

Snorting, Saoirse sent her a grin and they left her room with their arms linked, their heels clicking on the marble floor as they made their way to the ballroom of the estate.

Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, she moved forward with her hand held out in greeting, all the while feeling the scrutinizing gaze of the older woman behind them on herself. "Mister Shelby, it is a pleasure to meet you. I do hope that I will fit your expectations, considering we are to be we'd in a few weeks from now."

Snorting sounded from beside her and Saoirse wasn't sure if she had said something false. The Shelby brother in front of her gaped at her, mouth opening and closing, like a fish out of water and his eyes wide eyed and filled with uncertainty. "I do not believe this is a laughing matter, Mister Shelby, so please enlighten me."

"Forgive me, but it seems you 'aven't been informed well enough." he stated, a smirk playing along his lips, yet his eyes held no warmth, even with the mirth coloring his words. "It’s my brother Arthur you've been greetin' not me, Thomas, that you're supposed to marry."

She blushed the darkest shade of crimson as she remembered the conversation she had with her mother. It was the same day her parents had agreed to marry her off to Thomas Shelby and they had told her about the man, but stubborn as she was, Saoirse had run away, not wanting to see or hear anymore of the business man and gang leader from Birmingham. And now looking back at the smirking man, Saoirse felt the anger boil in the pit of her stomach. How dare he mock her for that honest mistake? If this was the way her married life with him was going to be, she'd stop it right there. If only she could slap that smirk from his face, granting her satisfaction for being the prick of a businessman that he was.

"Well, if you'll excuse me, Mister Thomas Shelby, there are other guests I have to greet." she ground out between clenched teeth and left the three Shelbys in the ballroom, Polly glaring daggers at her nephew. On the way out she ran into Niamh, one of their maids, hurrying out of sight with a haunted look. "Are you alright?"

"I'm so sorry, Miss," she mumbled hastily looking over Saoirse's left shoulder to where the Shelbys were still rooted to the spot but Arthur was watching the redhead closely, his eyes furrowed in confusion. "I-I forgot something, yes, something in the kitchen."

Taking a hold of her arm, the younger woman led the maid away from the party, the eldest Shelby brother hot on their heels while Saoirse asked herself why she was afraid of the man. "Has he hurt you, Niamh? Taken you against your will?"

"Nothing of the sort, Miss." She shook her head, her red waves bouncing with the motion. "I was stupid and in love."

Furrowing her brows, the youngest daughter of the Duke stopped them both behind a corner. "Then why wouldn't you want to talk to him? It could be your chance."

Niamh's eyes glazed over with unshed tears, thinking back to the day he said his vows and sealed it with a kiss. "It's too late for that. I wanted so badly to tell him that" but she broke off, shaking her head.

"What? That you love him?" Saoirse inquired, putting her hand on the maids arm, hoping to get a real answer out of her.

"No, at least not just that." she started, brushing away a stray tear that had escaped. "I wanted to tell him that I was with child, but he married another. Arthur is Jack's father." The little boy had been coming to the stables often enough, trailing after Owen who took care of the horses.

"What?!" the deep timbre of a voice pulled them out of their conversation and both women turned to look at the man that had caught up to them, blue eyes blazing like the stormy sea as he strode towards Niamh.

Arthur Shelby had been a father long before Linda told him about the child growing in her belly.

tagging:

@fortheloveoffanfic @fics-not-tragedies

#tommy shelby x oc #tommy shelby imagine #tommy shelby fanfic #tommy shelby #arthur shelby x oc #arthur shelby imagine #arthur shelby fanfic #arthur shelby #peaky blinders family #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders

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megsironthrone · 3 years ago

Text

Meg's Game of Tales: Tale 8

*Familiar characters are NOT mine! The original story of "The Swan Princess" is actually pretty muddled as far as origin, but it appears to be based off a Swedish or German fairy-tale*

Warnings: Swan Princess AU, angst, violence?, a little fluff. Kind of long.

Pairings: Viserys Targaryen x fem!reader

"Are you excited, Brother?" a young Daenerys asked Viserys as they waited once more for the yearly visit from your family. "For what? Another summer with that little brat? Not exactly my idea of fun, Little Sister." Daenerys rolled her eyes. Viserys was always like this when the summer rolled around. He hated not getting his way and never once had he gotten his way when it came to you and your family.

"Well I like Y/N. I can't wait for her to become my sister." A frown made its way to Viserys' face. He despised being reminded of the arrangement between your kingdoms. You and Viserys had been arranged to wed practically from birth. In order to make the idea more "bearable", your parents along with Viserys' decided that you and Viserys would spend EVERY SINGLE SUMMER together. And this particular summer would be the last before the wedding planning would begin. Needless to say, Viserys was not looking forward to it at all.

Growing up, Viserys had found you annoying. You were always trying inject yourself into everything he did. No matter what Viserys was doing outside of his own bedroom/bath chambers, you were there. He never knew if you were simply trying to bother him or if you were trying to get to know him the way your parents wanted you to. And as you grew older, you became close to the guards and other servants in the palace. You were constantly talking to them when Viserys wouldn't talk to you. It was almost like you were flirting with them. Viserys hated it and he grew to hate summers.

The sound of trotting horses reached Viserys' ears and soon enough, the carriage appeared. After a soft scolding from his mother, Viserys straightened up to his full height and he tried not to run as far away as possible. That usual feeling of annoyance and dread began to fill up his stomach while Daenerys chatted away. If she kept it up, Viserys was certain he'd box her ears.

When the carriage pulled to a stop, Viserys held his breath. Your father was the first to step out, offering his hand to someone inside. Viserys was struck dumb when he saw you step down from the carriage, smiling at your father. There was absolutely no way this was the same person that visited him every summer. How had he not noticed how beautiful you'd become?

Your eyes met his and you held your head high as you approached on your father's arm. Your gaze never wavered while you greeted Viserys' family. "Good day, Prince Viserys. It is lovely to see you again," you told him softly with a curtsy. Viserys barely managed to bow before you were all swept up into the castle for preparations for the welcoming feast for the evening.

The feast was, as always, a beautiful and probably over-done affair. But Viserys made it through, his gaze often making its way over to where you were sitting. Whenever you caught him looking, you'd given him a soft smile before going back to your meal. Viserys wanted to speak to you, but he had to wait. When it was finally time to begin the traditional after-feast dance, Viserys couldn't get to you quickly enough.

"Princess," he greeted before sweeping you up in his arms as the music started. For a moment, the two of you were quiet and then began making small talk. All-in-all, things were going well until Viserys made a comment about how beautiful you were. "Thank you, though I suppose that isn't a good enough reason to suddenly be happy about our arrangement."

"And why not? Why should my future queen not be beautiful?" You rolled your eyes. "Beauty isn't what makes a queen, Viserys." Viserys' brows furrowed. "Well, what else is there?" You suddenly stopped dancing and shook your head. "You are an idiot, Viserys. A complete and utter idiot."

With that, you ran off and no one saw you the rest of the evening. In fact, no one saw you the entirety of the next day either. It wasn't until evening that it was discovered that you were missing. The state of your chambers indicated that you had not gone willingly. Viserys instantly saw red. Someone had the audacity to sneak into your chambers and take you from him?! And where the hells were the guards when this happened?! Viserys was livid, executing the two guards that were supposed to be guarding you and your chambers. When he anger was finally spent, Viserys set out to find you.

*time skip*

Viserys spent weeks looking for you. Weeks! And there was nary a sign of you. Viserys was beginning to lose hope and when Viserys lost hope, people suffered. As he searched, Viserys realized why his family and yours had insisted on this arrangement and the summers spent together. You were the only one able to calm Viserys' temper. You could make him see sense. You were the compassionate one. You were everything a queen needed to be. Not just beautiful.

After another long day of searching, Viserys came to a clearing with a lake sitting in the middle. The moon was reflecting off the lake as Viserys sat down on a nearby bench. "Where are you, Y/N?" As expected, no answer came to him. Just a lone swan swooping in and landing on the lake. The swan stared at Viserys, making him a little nervous. That wasn't normal behavior for birds. Was it? Viserys didn't have a chance to think about it when a faint light hit his eyes.

The light grew brighter. So bright that Viserys had to shield his eyes. When he brought his hand down, Viserys was once again speechless. "You came for me," your voice was soft and tears welled up in your eyes. There you were, in the place the swan had just been. Viserys whispered your name and stood up. He barely had time to brace himself before you crashed into him.

"Y/N? What happened to you? Are you hurt?" You pulled away a little and Viserys missed the warmth of having you close. "H-He took me. And awful sorcerer used magic to get into the palace and took me. He's trying to force me to marry him so he can take my father's throne. When I refused, he turned me into a swan. I can become human again when the moonlight hits the lake. That's when he comes to ask me for my hand again."

"He cast a spell on you? Where is he? I'll tear him apart with my bare hands if I have to!" You placed your hand over his mouth and shushed him. "He'll hear you. You can't take him, Viserys. He's too powerful. You'll need the element of surprise. He may have magic but he is not a strong fighter like you." A voice calling your name had suddenly had you jumping away from him.

"You have to go. Go back to the castle and come up with a plan. Any plan. The spell should break if he's dead. Go now. Before he sees you." Viserys wanted to argue, but seeing the fear in your eyes made him do what you said. It was the first time Viserys had ever seen you afraid and that was enough to scare even him a little bit. So he did what you said and returned to the castle to plan a strategy. He would save you. He had to save you.

A few days later, Viserys had his plan and he made his way back through the forest to the clearing with the lake. However, as soon as he set foot in the dark wood, something felt wrong. There was something heavy in the air and a feeling of dread came over him.

Viserys tried to brush it off, but as he pushed forward, the feeling grew. Without even seeing you, Viserys knew you were in danger. He picked up his pace only to stop short when he heard a voice, raspy and eerily calm, calling through the air. "Hurry, little prince. Hurry and I might let you see her one last time." Viserys shook his head to rid himself of the voice, but it simply kept calling to him.

"You thought you could outwit me, but I cannot be so easily defeated. Your princess is dying because of your foolishness." Viserys felt his heart beginning to race and he forced his feet to carry him onward toward the lake. He could feel tree branches cutting at his face and nearly getting tangled in his hair, but he paid it no mind. He would worry about his vanity later. You were his priority. Well, you and making the sorcerer pay dearly for taking you. You were Viserys' and NO ONE took what was his. At least that's how he viewed it in his head. He'd never say that out loud to you. You'd probably slap him.

Finally, just as Viserys was about to give up hope, he broke through the trees to the clearing. Your captor was there, a gloating smile on his face. He didn't look like much. In a physical match, Viserys could easily overpower him. Still, he radiated power like Viserys had never felt before. But the dragon was never one to back down from a fight and this time, the stakes were higher than ever.

"Where is she?" he growled out. The sorcerer simply laughed before stepping to the side slightly. The lone swan laid on the ground, breath hitching more and more every second. You were really dying. "What did you do?!" Viserys shrieked and the sorcerer's disgusting grin grew. "You did this. You and the princess. You could have simply given me what I wanted and this wouldn't have happened. But no. You had to go behind my back. Now, she is dying and there is nothing you can do."

If there was one thing Viserys could not standing, it was losing. The only thing worse than defeat in his eyes was his enemy gloating about the fact. Rage consumed him. Viserys felt hot. Fire welled within him and he was not aware of what was happening until it was too late. The sorcerer screamed in fear as Viserys screamed in agony. His bones were shifting. His skin was changing. Sharp talons grew where nails once were. Wings sprouted from his back. A dragon. A true dragon.

The sorcerer was quicker to react the changes in Viserys, firing some magic spell or other at him. It hit Viserys and the dragon let out a screech of pain. He glanced down at your still form. Fueled on by his need to save you, Viserys steeled his nerves and did the only thing he could think of. He blew fire and before he knew it, the sorcerer was gone. Nothing but a pile of ash.

Once his enemy was gone, Viserys looked at you. No longer a swan, your body was still not moving. Where there was once anger, grief hit Viserys like a sudden storm. His wings and scales disappeared, his limbs shrank back, and the fire in his belly was gone.

As soon as he was back on the ground in his human form, Viserys was at your side. "Y/N?" He scooped you up in his arms and held you to him. For the first time in his life, Viserys felt his eyes filling with tears at the thought of losing you for good.

"You were right," he whispered though it was difficult for him, "There is so much more to marriage and being queen than being beautiful. And you are more than just beautiful. You are everything I ever wanted. Come back to me. As your future king and your husband-to-be, I demand you come back to me." He held you closer to him.

"Who gave you permission to order me around?" your voice rasped out. Viserys let his arms drop a little and he looked at your face to see your beautiful eyes staring back up at him. "You're alive." You nodded and smiled as you tried to sit up a little. "Thanks to you. I guess you really are a dragon." Viserys chuckled. You wrapped your arms around him.

"I love you, Viserys. So much." He didn't reply, but held you more tightly as if he were afraid to let you go. After a moment, you released him so you could look at him again. This time, your face was stern. "But seriously, don't think that just because we're to be married that it means you can order me around!" Viserys shook his head fondly and then captured your lips in a bruising kiss.

(a/n: Okay, so I had this ready over the weekend and just completely forgot to post it because I'm silly. That means you'll get 2 tales this week. These will be the only things I post during my hiatus since they're for a celebration. Anyway, I hope you liked it!)

#meg's game of tales #game of thrones #fairytale au #the swan princess au #viserys targaryen #viserys targaryen x reader #viserys x reader

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merakiaes · 4 years ago

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To begin with, I'm full of contradictions, utterly boring, very insecure and highly complicated. I would say my strongest personality traits are my kindness, calmness and sympathy. It's almost impossible to scare or upset me, because I always see the good in a person and recognize where anger, frustration and despair come from. There's no cruelty in me at all. I'm open and impartial towards everything and everyone, without any judgment or prejudice. I also have a calming/grounding effect on other people and animals, which is great because I honestly love all sorts of animals (I'm also a vegetarian because I refuse to intentionally hurt any animal). I'm always well-meaning and there to help others. I despise people who enjoy the suffering of others, just because they have the 'power' to. I'm very open-minded and I think that every opinion matters and that whatever someone has to say is important, at least to them and therefore for me. I will never ignore someone's sorrows and suffering and I try my hardest to help and comfort as best I can. But, even though I see the good in everything, I'm very insecure myself and have little love and understanding for myself. I have a very bad self-esteem and not a particularly positive self-perception, which mostly defines my actions. It makes me believe that I'm a burden to others and that I annoy them. I feel like I'm not "worthy" of love/there's nothing lovable about me, that there are too many problems in contrast to the little good things. Nevertheless, I would never change myself for anything or anyone, I am who I am. This is one of many reasons why I try to stay away and distance myself from others. For me, dealing and interacting with people is really difficult, because I'm so clumsy and nervous around them and easily feel like I'm making a fool out of myself. Another reason is that I fear to be rejected and thrown aside when someone sees how boring, problematic and annoying I actually am. It's also hard for me and incredible frustrating that I'm unable to articulate myself the way I want to, so that I mostly stay silent. And, since I'm a very quiet and rather shy person, I prefer people who initiate the contact and talk a lot/like to talk, who do the talking instead of me, but without intending to suppress myself. You would be surprised how timid and reserved I am, I'm sure you wouln't notice me in a room full of people if it wouldn't be for my different appearance (I'm always wearing only black, have dyed my hair a little and two ear piercings). Because I'm easily sad and not a funny/joking person, I like and enjoy people who are not too serious themselves. And I'm the most loyal person you'll ever find, once you earn my trust, I'll always be on/by your side, no matter what. I've always felt alienated from my surroundings, like I don't belong anywhere, like I'm the only cat in a room full of dogs. That's probably why I have a soft spot for the weirdos, outcasts, loners and "crazy" ones. Though, in my opinion, the definition of normal, crazy and real are very subjective. My whole life I've felt kinda judged, misunderstood and unwanted. People often falsely think that my unassuming nature is naivity and take my social-insecurity for aloofness and coldness. I'm also quite opinionated and aware of what I want, how I feel and who I am. I'm often questioning my surroundings, the traditions and rules and if I believe that something is wrong, I have absolutely no problem challenging others, even authority. I'm a perfectionist, which often leads me to overthinking and that can be equally good and bad. I'm absolutely clueless in romance and totally oblivious to flirting because I'm 100% inexperienced in this stuff, but I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic.

I crave physical touch and am literally melting into and bathing in any sort of touch, but I'm way too reluctant to initiate it. I'm rather sentimental with things given to me by people who I deeply care for, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Sadly, I'm not good with words to repeat how much someone means to me and I never know how to show/act on it either. I'm lazy, forgetful and sleepy most of the time and too much people, noise and light is exhausting for me. That's why I prefer to cozy up at home, watching a movie or TV show and listen to music. Music is my greatest passion, even if I can't sing or play an instrument. It's the most calming and therapeutic when it comes to my anxiety and depression and I could never live a day without it. When no one is around, I even sing along really loudly and off-tune. The meaning music has for me is hard to put into words, but it's my sanctuary for when I feel like my thoughts and feelings are suffocating me. You will never see me in the street without headphones in my ears and even when I'm at home there's music playing almost all the time. I could talk for hours about music and what it means to me. My taste in movies is more horror, fantasy and drama and in music it's rock, punk and pop, but for both I enjoy when it's themed around mental illness and real-life problems and when it's from the 80s and 90s. I like vintage things and would love to live in the 80's. I love the feeling of freedom and liveliness. My favourite weather is when it's gloomy and more cold, when it's pouring big fat drops and the air smells like rain and my favourite season is autumn because of the weather, colors, temperatures, flavors and overall aesthetic. I'm on the curvy-side and incredible insecure about it, although I really don't want to be. Once I trust you, I would love to talk for hours about music, movies, dreams, fears or anything alike and life in general, no matter how silly it may seems. I have a fascination for dark and macabre things. I also love to take late-night strolls, to gaze at the nightsky and literally feeling the freedom and infinity. My favourite colours are dark green, black, dark purple and gold. I love the scent of peppermint, cinnamon and the forest. I love plants and would love to decorate my home with them, but unfortunately I don't have a green thumb at all. I like ivy, lavender and roses the most. I wish I could live peacefully in a cottage, surrounded by a forest and many animals. I feel little conected to where I lwas born/am living and I'm deeply convinced that my soul belongs in the UK, always has.

+ Could I please request a male matchup for Stranger Things and Peaky Blinders? I'm female, she/her. (I know you said that no amount is too much, but I still hope that I didn't exaggerate here - and I'm sorry for any spelling and grammatical errors, english isn't my first language)

STRANGER THINGS

I ship you with Billy Hargrove!

This is somewhat of a controversial ship that can be both good and bad depending on the circumstances. I’m choosing to look at it from a positive perspective so bear with me.

Kindness, calmness and sympathy are your strongest personality traits and that is just what Billy Hargrove needs to bring him back to reality, because it is my opinion that the Billy we’ve gotten to see is only the version of himself that he has allowed us to see.

Billy’s automatic response when someone tries to help him by digging into his emotions is to get angry and defensive. Why? Because he’s put so much time and effort into building up walls around himself in order to not have to feel all his pain over and over again, and every time someone comes and pokes holes in those walls, he snaps.

He’s so used to not being loved and being abandoned that he automatically assumes that people who come off as supportive are going to leave eventually, too. So in his mind, he might as well scare people away at once so that he doesn’t get his hopes up and ruins the walls that he’s put so much into. That’s just easier for everyone.

But although he succeeds in pushing people away by getting angry and therefore succeeding in protecting himself from more heartbreak, he still feels a subconscious guilt when seeing how much he scares people, because that’s how scared he is of his dad. He treats people like his dad treats him and it destroys him to live with that, but he just doesn’t know how to do anything else at this point because his only purpose in life now is to uphold those walls, by whatever means necessary, so while I don’t condone his behavior, nor do I support mentally abusive relationships, I do from a psychological standpoint, think that it would help Billy that you don’t get scared easily.

Seeing people get so scared, even if it’s by his own doing, breaks him down more and more every time, a little at a time, and it would change everything for him to be met by something else than that immediate fear. He would be faced with an outcome he hasn’t experienced before, which is being seen as something more than a monster; or more specifically to him, being seen as something other than a replica of his dad, because I can guarantee you that that’s something that keeps him up at night.

Anyone can say that they understand, that they know where someone is coming from, that even if they don’t understand, they can see a persons reasons. But a lot of the times, this is just a case of empty words. Billy knows this and that’s another reason that he doesn’t let people in when they try to get closer, and he proves his point by getting angry at them and seeing the way they react. All of them get scared and leave. Rightfully so, but it also does proves the point in his logic.

You say that you have a calming and grounding effect on people which is something he’d really benefit from, as well. He naturally surrounds himself with people who match his energy; impulsive, wild, preferably illegal, with little to no thought of consequences. That’s his form of self-harm - to constantly surround himself with things and people that are bad for him, who likes his bad boy-image and encourages his bad behavior.

What he needs is something else entirely; and that is to be in a calm environment. He needs silence, peace, and even if just for a while, just anything but excitement. He needs someone who won’t encourage his chaotic and reckless lifestyle like most of the people he hangs out with do, in order to bring himself back down to earth and find himself again.

Once he actually meets someone genuine and like-minded and realizes that they’re there to stay, he’d most likely accept the help he’s offered. And after that, he would be so loving toward his significant other because he’d never want her to feel like he does. He would want her to be the happiest person on the planet and if there’s something I’ve learned, myself, it’s that the people who love the hardest are usually the ones who have been loved the least. So if you were feeling insecure, he would lift you up and compliment you constantly, always let you know how beautiful and amazing he finds you, and how lucky he is to have you. He’d be so overly loving and appreciative toward you and everything you do that you’d rarely even have the time to get stuck with your self-doubt.

He, too, feels like he’s undeserving of love, because when has he ever been shown differently? So I also think it would give him somewhat of a wake-up call to see someone he cares about, or just such a kind, genuine person in general, feeling like that. At the same time, I also think he’d react strongly to the way you accept yourself and refuse to change for anyone despite all the self-doubt you have, because that requires an insane amount of strength. It would probably inspire him a lot to be better, himself.

Billy would, most definitely, be the one to initiate contact with you just like he does every other female in his presence. Maybe it’s my mind being too mushed together by all the fanfiction I’ve read over the years, but I feel that once he got to know you, he would just fall for you on the spot. Not just “fall”, either. He’d trip on his shoelaces, fall on his face and roll down a flight of stairs once he finally managed to wrap his head around the fact that you understand, that you care and that you’re not going anywhere.

After initiating contact and coming to that realization, he wouldn’t mind just spending time with you in silence. All that talking he does is nothing more than a façade he’s put up to feel less out of place, less pathetic about being so weak around his dad, but it’s not the real him at all. Billy has been cold and guarded for so long that he, just like you, no longer knows how to communicate his feelings through words, either. Instead, he tends to show his emotions through his actions, so I can imagine there being a lot of silence. Mutual silence.

Would he still enjoy having genuine conversations with you? Yes, absolutely. As would he never hesitate to joke around if you felt down and needed to laugh. But he would also feel safe enough with you to be silent and vulnerable, without feeling that pressure to always keep talking and acting like he does when he’s with other people. He pretends to be comfortable, pretends to fit in, but in reality, he feels out of place, too. He’s felt unwanted, judged and misunderstood for most of his life just like you describe yourself to have done.

He has fooled around with a lot of girls but he’s still touch-starved, because no-strings-attached relations doesn’t do anything for him other than provide a temporary distraction. It never gives him the emotional, sentimental, meaningful proximity that he needs, so you have in common to crave physical touch and it would be a mutual thing for the two of you to show your emotions through touch rather than words.

You also have your love for music in common, and it’s so fitting because you like the same genres, which would only give him another way to be free around you. I can just imagine the two of you belting out your highest notes, totally off-key, while blaring rock music in his car.

To finish it off, loyalty is something he values above everything which is why he can never really hold on to long-term relationships or friendships. The only person who has ever been truly loyal to him was his mom, and even she made the active choice to leave him in the end, which is where his commitment issues stem from. So the fact that you’re genuinely loyal will be a complete game-changer.

He, too, loves the feeling of being free, and I have no doubt in my mind that the two of you would find ways to feel that way together without him going back to his old, problematic methods.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I definitely don’t condone his behavior nor do I encourage anyone to stay in a toxic and abusive relationship, whether it be mental, emotional, or physical abuse. I don’t like savior-complexes and I don’t encourage anyone to get together with a “bad boy” because they think they can “cHaNgE HiM”.

But I feel like Billy is one of those cases that has certain circumstances that makes him a bit of an exception. He’s made some reaaaally bad choices and treated people very badly which he still has to be held accountable for, but going forward, he could be an amazing person if only he got reminded of what it feels like to be loved. Because at this point, he’s probably completely forgotten it, and living without love for so long will drive any person into madness.

I still wouldn’t recommend someone heading into a relationship with him solely for the purpose of “changing him”, but I do think that, if the right person came along on random, these changes wouldn’t at all be impossible.

The way he behaves toward people can’t be excused and he still needs to own up to his behavior and mistakes, but I think we’ve gotten it proven at the end of last season that he actually does want to be better and that all he needed toward the end was to be shown some genuine love in order to be able to make that change.

PEAKY BLINDERS

I ship you with Arthur Shelby!

Arthur is like Billy in a lot of ways, so this is a controversial one too for the same reasons, but Arthur is also very different.

While Billy has built up tall, strong, practically non-penetrable walls around himself to avoid having to feel anything, Arthur is much more emotional and aware of his mistakes since he never really managed to use his trauma to build up a protective wall, but rather just let them pile up without knowing how to properly process them so that he’s now stuck having to feel it all at once with no way out.

He was left really vulnerable after his dad left which, I think, made him more open for the trauma he experienced during the war. It is my honest opinion that, had his dad still been in the picture, he would’ve been a lot less unstable today. But, as we know, his dad left him and his siblings, and that was the first trigger to a long line of domino bricks.

At this point, he’s so damaged that he has no sense of self-worth, whatsoever. He doesn’t feel worthy of love or a good life even though he wishes and dreams of it, so once he actually finds someone who wants to be with him, he falls hard, and would do anything in his power to be the best possible partner.

He’d be so romantic, so loving, so eager to please that he’d agree to pretty much anything requested of him. He’d abandon all of his other responsibilities to just live a happy life with you so living peacefully in a secluded area in a cottage with lots of animals is not something he would be opposed to at all. Nor would taking late-night strolls or staying in with you when everyone else goes out to drink be, because I’m certain that the only reason he drinks is because being sober on his own is too painful.

His way of acting out with anger and violence is nothing more than a product of his environment. Every day, every sound, every smell, every person he surrounds himself with, are triggers to his multiple traumas and the longer he surrounds himself with chaos, the more he’s going to lose himself to his anger – because anger is the only emotion through which he knows how to handle his trauma, as no one has ever tried helping him onto a healthier road of recovery but rather just told him to “suck it up”.

So the fact that you’re so kind, calm, sympathetic and understanding, and that you’re recognize where anger, frustration and despair comes from, that you’re open and impartial toward everyone without any judgment or prejudice, and also have a calming and grounding effect on people would just help him so much. Everyone else that he frequently surrounds himself with are big parts of the problem that is his mental illnesses and aggressive and violent tendencies. They do nothing to help but rather encourages it and fuels the fire so they can use his anger for their own winning.

He’s just constantly told to suck it up, be a man, have a drink or three, snort a line of cocaine, blah blah blah. The way his mental instability is treated by his inner circle is the literal embodiment of toxic masculinity and does nothing to help his case, because then he starts hating himself even more for feeling all the emotions that he does.

So, once given the correct support that he needs, he would pay you right back by making sure you never go a day without being told how amazing you are and how lucky he is to have you. He would throw, or at least try to his absolute best ability to do so, all of your insecurities out the window before they’d even gotten the chance to get through the door. He would literally adore you and, metaphorically speaking, be ready to eat straight out of your palm if told to do so.

All he needs is kindness, understanding and most of all patience, because while he is a work in progress, he is trying.

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make-me-imagine · 4 years ago

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Hello love ♡

First of all, I want to congratulate you on your 5500 follower milestone! That's incredible♡! I love your writings, Mera, and I think that your ship celebration is a wonderful idea!

Could I please request a male matchup for Marvel, Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings/Hobbit? With the additional "What you did for your first date" and "Ways they show you they love you without words" headcanons for all three of them? I'm female, she/her.

To begin with, I'm full of contradictions, utterly boring, very insecure and highly complicated. I would say my strongest personality traits are my kindness, calmness and sympathy. It's almost impossible to scare or upset me, because I always see the good in a person and recognize where anger, frustration and despair come from. There's no cruelty in me at all. I'm open and impartial towards everything and everyone, without any judgment or prejudice. I also have a calming/grounding effect on other people and animals, which is great because I honestly love all sorts of animals (I'm also a vegetarian because I refuse to intentionally hurt any animal). I have a faszination for chaos and rebellion, but am quite submessive/timid and a clean-/control freak myself. I'm always well-meaning and there to help others. I despise people who enjoy the suffering of others, just because they have the 'power' to. I'm very open-minded and I think that every opinion matters and that whatever someone has to say is important, at least to them and therefore for me. I will never ignore someone's sorrows and suffering and I try my hardest to help and comfort as best I can. But, even though I see the good in everything, I'm very insecure myself and have little love and understanding for myself. I have a very bad self-esteem and not a particularly positive self-perception, which mostly defines my actions. It makes me believe that I'm a burden to others and that I annoy them. I feel like I'm not "worthy" of love/there's nothing lovable about me, that there are too many problems in contrast to the little good things. Nevertheless, I would never change myself for anything or anyone, I'm who I'm. For me, dealing and interacting with people is really difficult, because I'm so clumsy and nervous around them and easily feel like I'm making a fool out of myself. Another reason is that I fear to be rejected and thrown aside when someone sees how boring, problematic and annoying I actually am. You would be surprised how timid and reserved I'm; I'm sure you wouldn't notice me in a room full of people if it wouldn't be for my different appearance (I'm always wearing only black, have dyed my hair a little and two ear piercings). I almost never like the "typical" heroes and righteous characters. And somehow I have such a undergoing disdain for any figure in the police and law department. Because I'm easily sad and not a funny/joking person, I like and enjoy people who aren't too serious themselves. And I'm the most loyal person you'll ever find, once you earn my trust, I'll always be on and by your side, no matter what. I've always felt like I don't belong anywhere, like I'm the only cat in a room full of dogs. That's probably why I have a soft spot for the weirdos, outcasts, loners and "crazy" ones. Though, in my opinion, the definition of normal, crazy and real are very subjective. My whole life I've felt kinda judged, misunderstood and unwanted. People often falsely think that my unassuming nature is naivity and take my social-insecurity for aloofness and coldness. I'm also quite opinionated and aware of what I want, how I feel and who I am. I'm often questioning my surroundings, the traditions and rules and I have no problem challenging others, even authority. I'm a perfectionist, which often leads me to overthinking and that can be equally good and bad. I'm absolutely clueless in romance and totally oblivious to flirting because I'm 100% inexperienced in this stuff, but I'm a bit of a hopeless romantic.

-Luna 1/2

Hey Luna, I hope you like what I came up with. You provided a bit more information than was necessary lmao, I forgot the word limit for asks was extended. BUT, it was enough to give me a good feel for who to ship you with, so I hope you like them!

All ships are under the cut:

Marvel:

I ship you with Clint.

Clint was my immediate thought when reading your information. He is very loyal and kind-hearted and I think would be most drawn to those who are kind, loyal, and have strong morals. He would try his best to show you how great you are through your insecurities, he loves you for who you are and sees no flaws in you. He would be very good at showing his care and love for everything you are. He does not need words to know how you feel as he is very good at seeing through you and knowing what you feel without them.

What you did for your first date:

You would have a fun yet casual day out date.

First you would go on a walk through a nearby park, talking and joking about everything and nothing.

Then you would go to a musical instrument museum.

He loves music too, so this would be great for both of you.

You got to see the evolution of music and instruments and listened to various kinds of music.

You spent hours in the museum together.

To finish the date of you went to a restaurant, you chose the place to go too since he knew you were vegetarian and he wanted you to share your favorite place and meals with him.

Ways they show you they love you without words:

He loves physical touch as well, so he would often express himself through various physical actions.

Placing a kiss to the back of your hand, or head.

Hugging you close to him randomly.

Wrapping you up in his arms on the couch when watching movies as he randomly kisses the side of your head or face.

Best Friend:

I think your best friend would be Steve. He is a very kind and compassionate person and would be very brotherly to you. he would never force you out of your comfort zone and would often check in on you. He can sometimes be a bit serious, but it never pushy towards you. He is very caring and helps you to accept yourself and things around you.

Harry Potter:

I ship you with Harry.

Harry is a very encouraging and accepting person and I think he would see the best in you and would never stop showing and proving to you that you are worthy of love and compassion. He would find you to be beautiful and never sees the flaws that you try to convince yourself that you have. I think he would be one of the best people to show you that you matter and are beautiful.

What you did for your first date:

You first met at Hogwarts, and since there was not much choice in dates he chose something simple that he knew you would enjoy.

You left during dinner and took an evening stroll around the grounds.

You stayed out past curfew and sat on a nearby hill watching the stars together.

When you began to get sleepy you snuck back in and he walked you back to your room.

Ways they show you they love you without words:

He brings you your favorite snacks and drinks randomly.

Randomly drapes his cloak or jacket over your shoulders when you are cold.

Will take your hand in his and rubs his fingers softly over your skin.

Hugs you from behind randomly.

Will play your favorite music throughout the house when he knows that you are stressed or sad.

Best Friend:

Hermione. She is very good at making you feel better about the world and yourself. She is always open to going on long walks and listening to you rant about anything or just to talk when needed. She is good at giving advice and never lets you feel inferior to anyone.

Lotr:

I ship you with Aragorn.

Out of everyone, I think Aragorn would be the best suited for you. He is kind, and patient and sees the best in everyone. He would see the best in you and is very good at showing it to you too. He will always make you feel wanted and needed. He does not let anyone take you for granted and will always stand up for you. He loves that you love music and will sing for you when you are stressed or having trouble falling asleep.

What you did for your first date:

Aragorn being Aragorn, woud take you on a horse ride to a beautiful forest.

You would go exploring and walking through the meadows.

He would share his knowledge of various plants with you and pick you flowers along the way, making you a small bouquet.

Once it got late, you two sat on the top of a hill and watched the sunset, waiting for the stars to come out before making your way back.

Ways they show you they love you without words:

Surprising you with flowers randomly.

Holding your hand as you walk through town on a quiet evening.

Bringing you various plants and taking care of them for you.

Planting you a garden with all of your favorite plants and flowers.

Hand-making you a special pendant to wear or hang somewhere in your home.

Best Friend:

Out of everyone, I think you would form a bond with Eowyn. She is caring and quiet, and is very easy to get along with She is very good at making people aware of their worth and of feeling wanted. She would never make you angry or disappoint you. I think you two would become so close that you consider each other family.

#ask #ship #ships #ship request #5.5k ships #lunamooney2406

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arysthaeniru · 5 years ago

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For the character ask I'm torn between picking your brain about a character I've never heard your take on and a character about whom I know you'll have interesting things to say. How about Aglaya?

How I feel about her

I love her! (I love every Pathologic character, honestly, they're so complicated and interesting, even if they're not good people.) I think that Aglaya has such an interesting story position: she's right at the halfway mark of the story, and she escalates the Plague situation and starts forcing all the characters into pushing for new things to happen and seeking new solutions. She's so perfectly timed and her ideology interacts so interestingly with each healer.

As for her actual personality, I'm very interested by her ideology of betrayal that she espouses in p2. We'd talked earlier, in the discord server, about how Aglaya's viewpoint perfectly fits within this religious space, since Dante feels too that the worst type of sin in Hell is betrayal, and it suits Aglaya and her position as the inquisitor in the Cathedral. Aglaya portraying the coldest parts of religion in the Church, playing at Judgment in the building across from her family, who have appointed themselves humanity's judge.

I love that she's a meta character, I love that she fights against her own fate, and I love how entirely perplexed by Artemy she is. She understands the Bachelor and finds him boring, she's unnerved by the Changeling, but still uses her, and yet, she can't quite figure out Artemy and why he won't engage with the meta like the other two will. It's such a fascinating character to throw in, and in a gameplay sense, she really changes the playing field and rules of Pathologic, the recontextualizing ONCE AGAIN that hbomberguy talks about in his video.

All the characters I ship her with

Yulia, first and foremost. The repressed gay tension of having almost certainly been lovers when Yulia was part of the Inquisition is juicy. And Yulia's idea that fate is always predetermined, versus Aglaya's late-game determination to expand past her fate...gods. such a beautiful, tragic couple.

I have Katerina/Aglaya thoughts, and Eva/Aglaya thoughts too! Not very full formed ones, but I think Aglaya interacts well with women she can't control, and these three are difficult to control in their own ways.

Platonic OTPs

I really love the idea of Aglaya interacting with her family. Dealing with Khan (and Nina) in the Polyhedron, Maria and Viktor (and Nina) in the Crucible and Georgiy and Simon who haunt the town in other ways. I think the extent to which Nina, the sister she's resented and despised for so long, haunts the Town-on-Gorkhon would be so painful for Aglaya, but could only push her to grow and expand. How do you deal with the hatred you have for your fictional family while also realizing too, that they're fictional and all this pentup hatred inside you isn't real?!?!

I also really like Aglaya and Grief? What the fuck happened there? I'm so curious about the contents of that conversation, who she led him to that place. Considering how easily she pushes the Stamatins into a breakdown in p1, she's good at manipulating people's emotions for her own needs, but was that a genuine conversation and breakthrough?

Unpopular Opinion

I think that Aglaya's not as mean nor as heartless as she comes off as? She's simply not occupying the same space as you the player—she will not buy the illusion that any of these people are real. A lot of her actions make a lot more sense when you realize that Aglaya is interacting with the town as the game it is, instead of the world we have fallen in love with, and must operate with the notion it is real. In a sense, Aglaya, to me, represents the worst players of Pathologic: the one that doesn't understand that just because it isn't real, doesn't mean it doesn't matter.

One thing you wish had happened

I wanted more of her! She's such an important ally to Artemy in p1, but she's less of a gamechanger in p2. I wanted to see more of her thoughts and opinions, and have her play more of a role in your decisions.

Also I wanted more music around her that made me cry like Umbraya Erze.

#it took me a while to get to this because i have a hard time formulating these thiughts #i think i need to watch bachelor p1 properly #to really understand aglaya and her perspective #she's such a lovely character to introduce from a meta standpoint #but i often forget what she brings to the table philosophically #aglaya #pathologic

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galfridus1 · 7 years ago

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CONGRATS FOR THE 500 FOLLOWERS! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ So... Ahem, this is the first time ever I ask for something like this... Thus I'm pretty excited... Would you mind doing number 7 with Escanor and Merlin? I'm 100% sure you'll do an AWESOME job *^* Thank You! (And congratz again!)

Thank you so much! And thanks for the vote of confidence as well. I really hope you like this!

This story was inspired by some real life scientific findings which have been discussed in the press recently. Fruit flies like sex, or at least the males do. This is a fact (see here for more). And Merlin would definitely have been in on this line of research, though her experiment here is slightly different.

***

It had been a mistake to visit Merlin’s lab.

Biting his lip, brow sweating slightly, his eyes tracked her as she sashayed across the room and Escanor struggled to maintain a semblance of stoic interest. He had never been so embarrassed in all of his days. His skin prickled and his face flushed with heat, his heart racing uncontrollably as he tried to get ahold of his himself. But it was no use. He licked his lips involuntarily as Merlin came closer to him and he could see, in sharp detail, every inch of her form, the flawless skin and delicate curves designed to send him crazy. Her lack of clothing had never affected him like this before, but this was hardly a typical day.

It had started well enough. Since the end of the War, it had become clear that his fears were unfounded, just petty jealousy on his part. That golden boy he had worried about clearly had other fish to fry, leaving Merlin free to enjoy her experiments now that Britannia was restored to something approaching its former self. She had returned to Liones, esconsing herself in the Magical Research Building, resuming her life before they had been exiled as if nothing had happened.

And he had let her. Every day, he told himself that this would be the day, the day he finally told Merlin he loved her. More than anything. More than the sun, and the moon, and the stars. Even more than the freedom to just exist in society that he now so enjoyed thanks to the glasses she had fashioned. But no matter how hard he tried he could not summon up sufficient courage to explain how he felt, not even via the medium of poem.

Alcohol had not helped either. The Captain and Ban had suggested a little Dutch courage, and had practically poured the concoction they had created for the purpose down his throat. With wicked grins, they had shoved a bouquet of flowers into his hand and pushed him unceremoniously out of The Boar Hat to go find Merlin. But he had been too drunk to navigate his way along the winding streets of Liones and had collapsed into a puddle at the side of the road, only to be rescued by Diane and King some hours later as they returned home. Escanor found he could not bear to be in the same room as the pair; he cared for them immensely and yet found their obvious happiness pierced through his chest.

Meanwhile Gowther had suggested modifying Merlin’s memories to make her more susceptible to his advances but, tempting as the idea was, Escanor had put his foot down. The doll had stared at him blankly, before resuming his book, the slight shrug of the shoulders his only remaining comment on the matter.

It was because he was so weak and pathetic with his glasses on, that was the trouble. Why would Merlin wish to bother with his night self? He stuttered, prevaricated, fussed, and generally made himself a nuisance. What he needed to do of course was approach her during the day, but he did not want to become him and so forfeit his pleasant life in the city.

But in the end he arrived at a solution: at half past six in the evening, just as the sun was beginning to sink towards the horizon, Escanor had stood outside the Magical Research Building, nervously pulling at his waistcoat. It was slightly baggy but not excessively so, and it would fit perfectly in due course. With great trepidation, he had removed the round glasses from his face, feeling the pride of a lion surge through his veins as his frame elongated and his muscles expanded. The sorceress would surely find him irresistible now.

Stealing himself, Escanor had rung the bell Merlin had hooked up to the door, unsurprised when it swung open on its own. Merlin hated to be interrupted when she was in the middle of an experiment, particularly to do something as mundane as answer the door, but she would permit visitors if she was in the right frame of mind. Every step he had taken up the stairs, the more excited he had felt. He was going to tell her, and she would be his and the whole world would shine with their love.

Then he had made his way into her sanctum and his dreams were almost immediately shattered to pieces. It was the smell that had hit him: a sickly aroma of dates and orange peel and something he couldn’t quite place. It only took a few breaths of the air before he had noticed his heart begin to race, his clothes suddenly feeling too tight and uncomfortable, his ability to think seriously impaired. And as he had struggled with this new reality, trying to work out why he had apparently lost control of his body, Merlin walked into view and all his courage had vanished in an instant.

“M…Merlin, how are you?” he spluttered, feeling his face flush as she flashed her seductive smile. Not the wittiest or openings but it was frankly a miracle he had been able to croak out something intelligible. As the woman of his dreams strode towards him, her hips swinging with her gait, he stood mesmerised, unable to take his eyes away from her. It was with a great effort he forced his gaze up to her cherry red lips, not finding that this helped him much with his predicament.

“Tolerable. This experiment could certainly qualify as intriguing.” Merlin looked longingly over her shoulder towards her work bench, some sort of apparatus placed in the very centre and Escanor started slightly to see the contents move. “Come and observe,” Merlin continued as she led him to the table, her eyes shining with enthusiasm. Escanor however found it difficult to move; whatever this odour was it affected him greatly.

“You can sense it too, I see, even at this low concentration. Most interesting,” Merlin mused as she examined him critically. “I presumed the effect was limited to these files but evidently this potion has great potential.”

“What is it?” Escanor gasped, his face red as a brick. Struggling to breathe, he looked into the contraption of Merlin’s creation. Inside the glass box were several chambers, all of them buzzing with large numbers of tiny insects. Escanor noticed however that some of the animals had green dots on their backs, and that these were concentrated in one part of the box in particular.

“Fruit flies,” Merlin said, a small smile curving over her face. “I’ve modified some of them so that they have no sense of smell, and those left in the usual condition I have marked with a fluorescent green ink. You will observe that these marked flies are all congregating in this corner? That is where I have placed a small drop of the potion.

“It turns them on,” Merlin said bluntly as Escanor stared at her, his mouth unable to form words. “My hypothesis was that non-humanoid life forms have no interest in sexual desire but you can see that this is not the case. Those flies who I have left able to experience pleasure are deliberately seeking it out.

“This potion is very mild,” Merlin continued, her smile faltering slightly as she moved closer and Escanor thought his heart would explode as it thumped cruelly in his chest. “I believed it would only influence these dumb creatures. I am surprised to see you have also fallen prey to its effects.”

His desire to run away growing to critical levels, all traces of pride completely erased, Escanor collapsed on the floor, doing his best to hide the way his body was responding so embarrassingly to Merlin’s experiment. He was on fire; every muscle, every nerve was twitching uncontrollably as he looked at the woman who had haunted his dreams for years. He drank in the sensual curve of her lips and the sparking intelligence in her amber eyes. He had never wanted Merlin so badly.

Frozen to the spot, Escanor watched as Merlin placed the glass box in a cabinet, before opening the window as wide as it would go. She then returned to her workstation, quickly combining the contents of several vials before briefly heating the potion over a small flame. The liquid boiled slowly, viscous green bubbles bursting at the top of the test tube as Merlin gave a cry of triumph.

“Here,” she commanded as she shoved the vial under Escanor’s nose. “I know it smells bad, but you will feel better, trust me.” Without further ado, Escanor took a deep breath, gagging as the new odour hit the back of his throat, burning the inside of his nostrils. ‘Smells bad’ was an understatement; he had never encountered any aroma so vile in all of his days. When the stinging in his throat subsided however, he found he could stand, the urges he had contended with moments before having completely subsided.

“I… I’m so sorry… that was unforgivable,” he muttered with a slight bow, the heat in his face now arising from pure mortification. As he lowered his head he caught sight of his clothing, shame welling up in his breast as he saw how baggy his waistcoat now was. Evidently night had fallen, and he was once more the powerless weakling Merlin do doubt despised.

Gaze fixed on the floor, Escanor started to shuffle towards the door, hoping to make a quick exit now he was back in control. He nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, Merlin’s fingers digging slightly into the fabric of his clothes.

“You don’t have to go,” she murmured, using two long fingers to raise his chin and Escanor was relieved to see nothing but kindness in Merlin’s eyes. She had always been so good to him, no doubt from condescension, but he valued her friendship more than anything in the world. ��You get more interesting every day,” she continued, her smile broadening and Escanor felt his heart would break. When would he accept that his dreams were just that? Merlin could never return his affections.

He was extremely surprised therefore when, moving closer, Merlin placed her lips on his. It was slow and chaste, and he stayed stock still, unsure of what to do. Merlin however was undeterred, pulling his arms around her waist and Escanor finally gave way, electricity running through his veins as he permitted himself to return her kiss. It was everything he had dreamed of and more, her soft sighs stirring his blood anew as Merlin ran her fingers into his hair.

“I’ve wanted this for so long,” Escanor groaned as they broke apart, gasping for air. Merlin grinned at him, her fingers caressing the back of his neck in a way that threatened to hypnotise him. His own hands dragged up her back, feeling the silk fabric of her gown under his palms.

“I know,” she murmured as she returned his embrace, pulling him close as their lips met once more.

#nnt #prompt collab #merlin #escanor #escalin #this is an amazing ship to write #seriously it's like my third favorite ship to write now #i love escalin #fanfiction

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