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zodiac-queens · 8 years ago

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The Signs as my Favourite Men in Literature

*Careful! Contains elements of sarcasm.

Rhett Butler, sexy and sarcastic twat with a heart of gold (literally, because he is that rich) who enjoys making fun of everything and everyone and watching dumb people being dumb // Aries

brutally honest, handsome, physically strong, sarcastic, selfish, self-confident, drawn by goodness, afraid of rejection, wild behaviour, rebellious, charming, “ungentlemanly”, often amused and seldom serious

Edmond Dantès (Count of Monte Christo), a very decent guy who is imprisoned without any logical reason but manages to break out, starts a spicy campaign to avenge himself upon all the dumbasses who turned him in, becomes rich and powerful, HOT! // Taurus

kind, honest, innocent, living by traditional codes, naturally intelligent, honorable, driven by duty, loving, forgiving, later bitter and vengeful, hateful, resourceful, imaginative, protective

Mr. Fitzwiliam Darcy, a snobbish and arrogant jackass who so mercifully decided to propose to Elizabeth “against his better judgement” when he obviously could’ve had every woman in England // Gemini

honest, self-confident, feels superior, prideful, arrogant, assuming, sensitive, later easygoing, introverted, great communicating skills, great at analysing and organizing, has own set of values, dismissive, aloof, brave and stubborn, protective, chivalrous

Jay Gatsby, a romantic and gentle flower that is ridiculously obsessed with the past and can’t get over himself, seemingly thinks he’s the nicest guy in the universe and a beast in bed, tbh why would Daisy even look at other men? // Cancer

dreamer, restless, delusional, charming, gracious, enigmatic, kind-hearted, determined, wealthy, passionate, dedicated to love, optimistic, energetic, loving, lives in another world, giving, caring, nostalgic

Harry Potter, a dork who needs friends who save him from all the stupid bullshit he attempts to do, he wouldn’t even have managed to get through the first year of school without Hermione and Ron, being his companion includes being dragged into some seriously concerning and dangerous shit // Leo

brave, strong, devoted to his beliefs, strong-willed, warm-hearted, hot-tempered, impulsive, lack of emotional control, moody, witty, curious, protective, loving, humble, loyal, forgiving, grateful, stubborn, modest

Sherlock Holmes, a mental trainwreck and annoying know-it-all, I really understand why Dr. Watson is the only one who can stand his company because there’s not enough patience in the world to deal with this one, but I guess masterminds have to be hoes with a god-complex // Virgo

high intelligence, perceptive to details, workaholic, concentrates strongly, energetic, perfectionist, possesses a genius mind, creative imagination, stubborn, narcissistic, understands and analyzes human behaviour, lacks empathy for others, supresses emotions, overthinker

Atticus Finch, tbh I don’t know if there is a bad thing I could say about this man, he is a great and loving father, he is a badass lawyer and he shoots like a young god, i mean look at him! who wouldn’t want to be Mrs. Finch? // Libra

kind-hearted, fair, stern but loving, honest, consistent, fights for justice, calm, quiet, moral, open-minded, courageous, strong-minded, respectful, faithful, wise, empathetic, intelligent, omniscient, great guide/Mentor

Edward Fairfax Rochester, a rude and horny but romantic dude who totally forgot that he locked his wife in the basement and thinks bigamy is a perfectly legit thing // Scorpio

excessively passionate, guided by senses, good at reading other’s minds, wild, desires a new life, pompous, genuine, often incapable of restraining his desires, dark and brooding, seeks innocence and freshness in contrast to his troubled life, deeply loving

Enjolras, a super-handsome hunk who thinks about the Revolution 24/7, honestly so much wasted potential because where’s the romance?, but then again it is borderline sexy to fight for what you believe in // Sagittarius

believes in democracy and freedom, charming but also capable of being terrible, rebellious, determined, ambitious, stubborn, passionate, wild, beautiful, has radical beliefs, stoic, unafraid, “gives more light”, typical leader

Macbeth, incredibly hot and brave warrior who has some trouble with his self-esteem and has to show his wife what a manly man he is, totally obsessed with power which is sexy at the beginning but then it just gets weird // Capricorn

brave and capable warrior, consuming ambition, self-doubt, powerful, lonely, feels guilty, very manly, kind at the beginning, treacherous, imaginative, ruthless, gullible, loving towards his wife, loyal when not inflicted with his ambition, arrogant, respectful

Jean Valjean, a former prisoner with a giant heart and a helper syndrome, tbh it’s a little bit annoying how good he actually becomes, particularly because he has a shit ton of own problems including a cop whose only mission in life is to catch him // Aquarius

honest, hard-working, compassionate, loving, willing to discover goodness, helps others, has a giant heart, idealist, takes responsibility if necessary, brave, selfless, intelligent and perceptive, strong and agile, protective, soft-hearted

Heathcliff, a really sexy beast with the attitude of a bad boy, can’t get over his first and only love and obviously has to behave like the biggest jerk on earth, obsessed with Catherine to the point where it gets really creepy, anyway I guess sex with him takes you to paradise // Pisces

wild and natural, amoral, cruel, possesses stormy emotions, vengeful, hates and loves with the same intensity, cares for those he loves and desires, obsessive, loyal, passionate, powerful, adventurous but silent child, mysterious

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