#he then proceeded to rap battle the lesbians

[adobe-outdesign]

the current storyline of the Faerie Festival is that a local hot mess twink got possessed by an entity that immediately proceeded to flirt with and then rap battle a librarian, in that order. this happened because he was researching the local lesbian's messy divorce

[allysartstuff]

Me: Don'tmakeanewnextgendon'tmakeanewnextgendon’t-

Brain: Make a new next gen with Trolls, coward! So I finally caved and made next gen with my favourite OT3 of the fandom, Poppy x Branch x Hickory! Anything including these three are gonna be known as the Gumdrop AU!

Edelweiss “Delly” Hickory x Poppy

Eldest of the siblings

Literally has no chill

Impulsive, reckless and dives head first into something without ever thinking

Definitely his mother’s son

Has given his parents a heart-attack at least once a week

Once kicked a bee’s nest on purpose, got stung many times, was treated/berated by Branch and then proceeded to do it again the very next day

A proud yodeller, he tries to make Yodel Pop a thing with little success

His yodelling has a hypnotic effect on animals such as Puffalo, shocking Hickory and Dickory when they found out

Usually the ring-leader of the trio, getting himself and his sisters into all sorts of trouble

Probably grows up to be a himbo

Despite his lack of brains, he is super loving and will stomp on your head if you make Violet cry

Sunflower “Sunny” Branch x Hickory

Middle child

The only child who was unplanned, how was Branch to know that he could carry an egg???

The sweetest girl you ever did see

Loves gardening for flowers, plants, fruits and veggies

Dots on every single fruit and veg like they were her own children, of course up until they get eaten

Her favourite thing to garden are Marshtatos which that bitch Marshtato Mary is not allowed to get her mitts on

Extensive knowledge of poisonous plants

Can be incredibly petty and competitive

Usually tags along with Edelweiss’s dumb adventures, mainly to make sure he doesn’t die

Always covered in dirt

Absolute lesbian but doesn’t know it yet

Doesn’t have a great relationship with her grandfather, Peppy

Violet “Vi” Poppy x Branch

Youngest child

Just a little baby

Very shy and introverted, it takes a lot to bring her out of her shell

Still has issues with physical clinginess, usually always hiding behind her parents, holding their hands or hiding in Poppy’s hair (while she’s still small enough to do so)

Always gets roped into Edelweiss’s latest adventure whether she likes it or not

Likely on the autistic spectrum

Two great passions in life, scrap-booking and rapping

Poppy encourages family scrapbook time as a way to get her daughter to engage with them properly

Really shines through when rapping, though as she grows older, Vi becomes controversial for insulting her opponents at rap battles (Tolls usually use compliments) or rapping about negative feelings

When the three siblings do acapella singing, Vi is usually beat-boxing

Miiiiiiight have a crush on Prince D

Absolutely has a rivalry with Tiny Diamond

Trolls © Dreamworks

[movieswithkevin27]

Power Rangers

Chopped, cut, pasted, and slapped together by a committee of folks studying the latest results from a test screening, Dean Israelite's take on Power Rangers is everything a Power Rangers film should be. It is still rather bad, but it is fun with a child-like silliness that lets the audience know the events of the film are hardly serious. I mean, hell, how serious can one expect a film about a villain named Rita Repulsa (Elizabeth Banks) and her plans to create a monster out of gold named Goldar to dig out a crystal that gives life to Earth, which happens to be hidden under a Krispy Kreme? Power Rangers is dumb and poorly written, but is somehow fun to watch in a really immature way. Fortunately, that is exactly what Power Rangers always was since it was first created. Of course, none of that fun actually makes this film any good unfortunately.

The first act and beginning of the second act is really where the film has most of its fun as the rangers meet for the first time, begin bonding, and getting to know one another. While it can be a bit cheesy and silly at times, the scenes of them bonding instill the film with this great light and goofy edge that keeps the proceedings moving ahead with a chaotic energy. None of these moments are particularly revolutionary, but they are greatly endearing to the titular heroes and allows the audience to really get a hold on all of the characters and their backgrounds. By the time they begin to discover they have new superpowers, Power Rangers manages to show great constraint. Initially, the kids are just shocked and slowly realize what powers they have. With a fun scene where they all put their colored coins on a table at the lunch line which causes all lunches to explode due to the power in the coins, the film keeps its fun energy going and avoids exposition at the very onset of their power. The film instead shows us some of the neat tricks, the strength they have, and laces the film itself with some decent mystery as to what is going on with these kids.

Unfortunately, this all ends when they find the spaceship with hologram Zordon (Bryan Cranston) and the robot Alpha 5 (Bill Hader). Ignoring the fact that Alpha 5 literally cannot shut up, the film rapidly turns into an exposition machine as Zordon explains who Rita Repulsa is, what she wants, what they means for the Earth, and what she did to his team. The dialogue also gets appallingly on-the-nose at this point. For example, Zordon sends the kids to train in the pit. The film then cuts to Alpha 5 walking into the pit and saying, "So, this is the pit." This horror continues with on-the-nose exposition-filled dialogue throughout the film. Scenes of the kids just coming out and explaining their inner feelings and Rita Repulsa never beating around the bush and always taking the time to remind Goldar she wants to find the crystal under Krispy Kreme. Where the film is not on-the-nose, it becomes annoyingly dense. Acting like a child who has a secret that everybody knows but they continue to pretend nobody knows, Power Rangers tries to build to the rangers morphing by making it a mystery as to how it is achieved. When Billy (RJ Cyler) briefy morphs when defending his friends, the entire crew acts shocked and asks him how he morphed. For the next few scenes, this charade continues with far too many lines of dialogue able to be summed up as, "Woah dude how did you do that? We have the figure out how to morph." By the time the film reaches its sentimental and sappy moments of the rangers swearing they would die for each other, the film has reached its absolute peak of annoyance. Had the film just let the kids morph far sooner, the film could have been shorter, yet it instead opts to obnoxiously beat around the bush and pretend the audience is too stupid to figure out the key to this "secret".

The final battle between the Power Rangers and Rita Repulsa is similarly horrifically written with the dialogue just highlighting exactly what will happen. Rita tells Goldar to push them into a pit, followed by Goldar pushing them into a pit. Jason (Dacre Montgomery) tells another ranger to throw a punch, so they throw a punch. It is team work, yes, but it is annoying. The film cannot help but tell us what is coming next by dedicating line-after-line to the exactly that pursuit. It is a film that trusts its audience so little that it feels the need to just let them know what is about to happen so they can brace themselves for it to happen. When the rangers fall in the aforementioned pit and come out as a single being, Rita Repulsa's reaction of, "How can they do that?!" is horrible and ignores the fact that she was once a ranger and is literally about to step inside Goldar in a similar way. The dialogue in this film feels written for a five-year-old and, as a by-product, it just feels lazy, mashed together, and just stilted. This is a film about a group of teenagers fighting a being called Rita Repulsa, yet the film feels the need to spoon-feed every bit of information to the audience.

Power Rangers is a let down in other ways as well, including its pop song soundtrack, its product placement, and its horrific attempts at humor. The latter is apparent throughout, but the two most egregious moments come in the beginning and in the end. Starting off with Jason kidnapping a cow to put in a locker room, there is a joke about somebody thinking this was not a bull and instead a female, so they milked the poor thing from its one "udder". Throughout the film, immature and cheesy high school humor abounds but it is hardly ever worth noting. However, at the end of the film, the Power Rangers just defeated Rita Repulsa so, to take the air out of the proceedings, everybody in town whips out their fun and the Rangers do a little dance in their big robot body. These overt overtures at humor possibly appeal to somebody, but that person is likely waiting to be potty trained still. These attempts at humor are tone-deaf and scream of some top-level executive suggesting their inclusion because, "The youngsters are going to love this. It is exactly what they are into on the world wide web."

At the same meeting in which the comedy was approved, another executive banged his fist and the table as he screamed, "We need more pop songs! The test audience loves those new fangled rap and rock songs at big climactic moments!" Despite attempts to reject this sweaty 60-something year-old man's desperate pleas for more top 40 hits in the song, the poor filmmakers were forced to sprinkle these songs quite liberally into the film. Always obtrusive, annoying, and forced, the songs consistently take the audience out of the film and remind them of just how slapped together this film was with too many hands in the cookie jar. Though mildly funny (in an lolsorandom way), the product placement for Krispy Kreme is similarly jarring with the film consistently name dropping the doughnut shop and even pausing to let Rita Repulsa briefly eat a doughnut. Is there a feature film or just a long advertisement for Krispy Kreme that has pop songs to grab your attention? Honestly, the latter may be more true and would explain away all of the horrible on-the-nose dialogue and cheesy attempts to relate to the audience with bad humor, annoying song inclusions, and cloying attempts at character development (directionless teenager, dealing with mom's illness, being a bully and victim of subsequent bullying, and being a lesbian which is woefully underdeveloped), Power Rangers is excusable if it was just an advertisement. Unfortunately, this is a feature film.

As horrible as the film is throughout, Power Rangers is a weirdly entertaining film with likable characters and a villain that is introduced quite well in scenes more fit for a horror film. However, they are stifled out and beat to death with exposition-laded scenes, on-the-nose dialogue, product placement, poor character development, childish humor, and forced pop song fight scenes. By the end, it is clear that there could be a good movie trapped inside this film, but it was clearly beat to death by test screenings and the wishes of executives.