#he takes up a lot of space on my pinterest feed

[ham1bone]

I understand why Charles had a decade long breakdown over the divorce 🙏

Bro fumbled diabolically

[eternlmoonshine]

the alchemy of us ❥ spencer reid

summary: spencer has always been careful with the things he loves. and when he touches you, it’s with the kind of reverence that makes you feel like something divine pairing: spencer reid x reader warnings: a lot of intimacy, and very obvious allusions to sex but not explicit wc: 1k a/n: the inspiration for this was my pinterest feed being very cruel and showing me this quote and a picture of mgg from horse girl masterlist.

Spencer touches you like he’s afraid you’ll disappear.

Like you’re something he prayed for, something he never really thought he could have.

You feel it in the way his hands hesitate before they land on your skin, in the way his fingers tremble slightly when they trail down the length of your arm. He worships in a quiet way, all soft exhales and lingering glances, memorizing the shape of you like you might slip through his fingers if he isn’t careful.

You are the impossible thing he gets to hold.

And underneath his hands, you become poetry.

It starts slowly, the way all sacred things do.

Spencer has always been careful with you. He doesn’t rush, doesn’t push, doesn’t take more than you’re willing to give. He learns you the way he learns everything else- with patience, with curiosity, with something dangerously close to devotion.

At first, it’s just touches.

A hand on your lower back when he guides you through a crowded room. Fingers brushing against yours when he hands you something. The warm press of his palm against your knee when you sit beside him.

But then, one night, something shifts.

His apartment is quiet, dimly lit by the soft glow of a lamp. You’re sitting close- closer than usual, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from his body. The air between you is thick with something unsaid, something that’s been building for weeks, maybe months.

And then, with the careful deliberation of a man who has thought about this too much, Spencer reaches out.

His fingers trace a slow, reverent line down your cheek.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, almost like he didn’t mean to say it out loud.

Your breath catches. Not because of the words, but because of the way he says them- like the thought of your beauty physically aches inside him. Like it’s something too big for him to hold.

You don’t know who moves first. Maybe it’s him, maybe it’s you, maybe it doesn’t matter.

All that matters is the way his lips finally, finally meet yours.

It’s slow at first. Spencer kisses like he does everything else- with care, with precision, with an underlying intensity that threatens to consume. His hands settle on your waist, fingers tightening just slightly, like he’s trying to ground himself in the reality of you.

And then you tilt your head, deepen the kiss, and something in him unravels.

A soft sound escapes his throat- something caught between a sigh and a groan. His hands slide up your back, pulling you closer until there’s no space left between you. He kisses you like he’s starved for it, like this is something he’s imagined too many times and he needs to make sure it’s real.

Your fingers find his hair, tugging just slightly, and he makes a noise that sends heat straight to your core.

“God,” he breathes against your lips, “you-”

He doesn’t finish the sentence. Maybe he doesn’t know how. Maybe there aren’t words for what he wants to say.

Instead, he pulls back just enough to look at you. His pupils are blown, his lips are swollen, and his breath comes in uneven pants. He looks utterly wrecked, and all you’ve done is kiss him.

But when he looks at you, it’s with a kind of reverence that makes your stomach flip.

Like you’re something divine.

Like you’re everything he’s ever wanted.

When he touches you, he does it slowly.

Like he’s memorizing you. Like he’s trying to etch the feeling of your skin into his bones.

His fingers trail over your collarbone, ghosting down the curve of your shoulder, tracing the length of your arm with deliberate precision. Every touch feels intentional, every caress a silent worship.

He presses his lips to your jaw, to the spot just beneath your ear, to the hollow of your throat. You shiver beneath him, and he makes a sound of quiet satisfaction, like he’s cataloging every little reaction for future reference.

“Spencer,” you whisper, and he hums in response, dragging his lips across your skin.

His hands move lower, tracing the curve of your waist, settling at your hips. He pauses there, fingers flexing slightly, like he’s bracing himself.

You can feel the tension in his body- the quiet restraint, the careful control.

It’s almost too much.

“Don’t hold back,” you murmur, running your hands up his arms. “I want you.”

His breath catches. And then, like something in him finally snaps, he moves.

His mouth is on yours again, hotter, hungrier. His hands slide under your shirt, skimming over bare skin, and the warmth of his touch sends a shiver down your spine.

You gasp against his lips, arching into him, and he groans- actually groans- like the sound of your pleasure is something holy.

Like this is the alchemy that he does.

Turning reverence into heat. Turning worship into need.

Turning you into something untouchable, something sacred, something that only he gets to have.

And god, you want to let him have you.

When he finally moves inside you, it’s with the same slow, deliberate care.

He takes his time, watching you, gauging your every reaction. His hands grip your hips, steady but reverent, like he’s afraid of holding too tightly, like he’s still afraid of breaking you.

But you don’t want careful. Not now.

“Spencer,” you breathe, wrapping your legs around him, pulling him closer. “Please.”

He exhales sharply, something raw flashing across his face. “Are you sure?”

You reach up, brush your fingers over his cheek, and smile. “I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

And that’s all it takes.

The hesitation crumbles, the restraint finally shatters. He moves with purpose now, his rhythm deep and slow and devastating.

He touches you like you’re made of something precious.

He kisses you like you’re the only thing keeping him tethered to the earth.

And when you fall apart beneath him, he watches, eyes dark and reverent, like this is what he was made for.

Like you are the thing he asked God for.

And now that he has you, he will never stop worshipping.

[justwonder113]

Sharing bed with Seungmin

Chan; Lee Know ; Changbin; Hyunjin; Han; Felix; Seungmin; IN;

My Masterlist

Summary: After facing the horrible and vile beast and hurting your leg in the fight, your best friend offers to let you stay in his house. Where one thing might lead to another. Warning: cursing as always, there's no surprise there. Not proofread. Both Seungmin and Reader are quite goofy. Reader is gender neutral. Mentions of kissing.

A/N- Hey babies! I'mglad to say I'm back and well. I hope you'll like this fic. Reblogs and cooments are greatly appreciated. Feel free to request and send your thoughts if you have any❤️ Word count- 1.8k If you like my work you can buy me coffee🩷

Having your own house is a beautiful experience. It’s like an adventure of having your own kingdom and being a monarch. You have all the privacy and personal space one can dream of; you have peace and quiet; you have freedom to do whatever you want be it walking around butt naked or cooking up a three course meal at  3am; you can have random 3 am dance concerts and so on and so on. Most importantly you could do whatever you wanted to decorate and style it which is what you were busy doing right now.

Lately your Pinterest feed was full of various versions of colorful archways. People came up with so many interesting ways to add a pop of color to their house and it seemed quite easy to do so. So here you were perched on the stool unleashing your inner artist on your archway. Well at least that was the plan. Everything went to gutter when you saw a movement in the corner of your eye. You turned around made eye contact with probably the most disgusting and vile looking grasshopper ever. The horrific appearance of the beast made you scream so hard the beast also got startled and fucking jumped on you! Obviously you lost your shit at that too, your already shaky and unstable stool just couldn’t take it anymore. One second you were screaming your lungs out the next second you were on the floor with your leg hurting like a bitch.

You must have made quite a lot of noise because almost immediately the front door of your house basically burst open and Seungmin rushed towards your hunching figure. You had almost forgotten he was supposed to come over. You had even left your door open for him. Quite convenient, because no way in hell would you be able to stand up and walk towards the door in this state. You sure as hell hoped you didn’t break it.

“Are you okay? What happened?” Seungmin looked frantic as he nervously examined you. You wanted to keep your cool, you really did. But the pain and the shock took over your senses and the next thing you knew you were bawling your eyes out as Seungmin, confused and unsure of what to do, cradled your body close to his frame and tried to calm you down.

You were unsure of what happened next. You were pretty out of it. Maybe out of shock maybe because of the painkillers, who knows. Seungmin did most of… Well basically everything. He helped you get ready, took you to the hospital, did basically all the talking with the doctors, stayed with you through every procedure… He even took care of all the paperwork, bought all the meds and not once did he complain about anything! Even more, he bought you to his house! Well he said because you couldn’t be trusted to be alone but you knew it was because he was worried, also you did complain quite a lot about being afraid of the beast lurking in your house. With your foot strained like this there wasn’t even a possibility for you to run away from the hideous creature.

If you thought that he wasn’t husband material before (oh no you were totally not crushing on your best friend, not at all!), he even made you dinner, which was just finger licking good! He made sure to step away to his room to make a call, but you could still hear how he asked Minho for tips. How could you not love him? He even called Minho! He hated asking him for help. He looked so good doing everything too, all you could think about was how you wanted to kiss him.

“You’re the best Minnie.” You cheered as he helped you get to bed. He insisted that you take his bed, refusing to hear you protest. You loved how he always acted like everything was such a bother and then went out of his way to do it.

“Shut it, I’m only letting you sleep on my bed because knowing your clumsy ass you’ll fall of the sofa and further injure yourself!” He grumbled as he tucked you in like you were a literal child.

“Aww you do care about me.” You couldn’t help but tease.

Seungmin only scoffed – “Don’t push it!”

“I love you too!”- You mused, he rolled hie eyes at that but you could have sworn the corner of his lips lifted up. He was about to leave but you reached in just in time to grab his hand. Seungmin looked taken aback for a second but quickly gathered himself. “Please stay?” You made sure to do your best puppy eyes and it worked! Seungmin immediately caved, but being a stubborn ass, he is he just plopped on you. Careful to not touch your leg but still with enough force to squish you.

Honestly, jokes on him because you only saw this as an opportunity to wrap your hands around him and tightly hug him. He “tried” to get free but you knew that this softie enjoyed the hug, the big ass smile on his face confirmed it. In mere sounds he stopped resisting and continued to just flop on you.

“What are you doing?” He huffed out while his face was adorned with the prettiest smile ever. God you couldn’t understand how could he say anything bad about his smile or even think of hiding it. It was always so innocent and pure. It never failed to put a smile on your face, to light up your whole world.

“Showing how thankful I am?!” – To further prove your point you leaned in and gave him the fastest smooch on his cheek. Seungmin made sure to grimace as dramatically as possible, but as always, his arms wrapping around your waist told whole another story about how he felt.

“Oh really? By kissing my cheek?” What a little shit. Now it was your time to roll your eyes. “Are you insinuating I should kiss you elsewhere?” You tried to not sound as hopeful as you actually felt.

Seungmin barked out a teasing laugh-“As if you could, you don’t have the guts for it!”

You quickly let go of him and crossed your arms to show your disdain, with equally matching scowl adorning your face. That didn’t stop him from hugging your frame, in fact he tightened his hold around your waist. “How dare you sir!”

Seungmin looked at you with challenging look, his eyes full of amusement. “What? Are you going to kiss me then?” His voice was teasing, you couldn’t tell if he was actually for real or not. You couldn’t’ tell if you should challenge him or not.

“I just might!” – You challenged, thinking that you just might as well go with it. You could always play as if you were joking. You hated hiding your true feelings but anything was better than possibly losing him as a friend.

“What are you waiting for then?”? You thought you knew him the best but you couldn’t really decipher what his face meant. Was he actually for real? Were you two about to cross the line that could possibly ruin your friendship either for the best or for the worst?

“Don’t you dare regret it!” You whispered against his lips. When did Seungmin’s face get so close? With every breath your lips slightly brushed against each other. You could smell the minty smell of his toothpaste. God you were really about to do it!

“Wouldn’t dream of it love.” His voice was low, almost like a whisper. God, you couldn’t resist him anymore. Here went nothing. Bringing him closer with his face you finally connected your lips together.

His lips were a bit cold and chapped but nonetheless you loved how they felt against yours. Your whole heart was bursting with joy. Every drag of your lips against each other felt like heaven, you couldn’t help but lean in for more. Seungmin must have also felt that way because he also kissed you like a starved man, like you were oxygen he needed to breathe. His hands had shifted from around your waist, one hand held your hip tightly while the other migrated to your neck and softly rested there. You also couldn’t keep your hands to yourself, your one arm was wrapped around his shoulders as the other still held his cheek to have him as close as possible. His lips were almost addictive like a drug you didn’t know needed in your life you just couldn’t get enough.

Unfortunately for you, you had to lean back to get some air. You always thought that oxygen was overrated anyway but biology or whatever. Seungmin also seemed unimpressed to be away from your lips but that still didn’t stop him from covering your whole face and neck with sweet kisses.

“I thought I was the one supposed to be the one saying thanks?” You couldn’t help but giggle as he kissed the ticklish spot on your neck. Seungmin looked up to you for a second then quickly got up. Your heart clenched at the idea that you might’ve done something wrong but he immediately washed away those worries by walking around the bed and laying down on the bed next to you, under the same queen size cover.

You looked at him with wide eyes as he got more comfortable laying on his back and opened his arms for you almost like an invitation. “All done!”

“What are you doing Min?” A smile crept up your face as you examined his mischievous smile.

“I just got more comfortable, you can thank me as much as you want now.” Seungmin answered proudly with the prettiest smirk adorning his face.

 You couldn’t help but mirror the expression. “You’re such a brat sometimes. What should I do with you?”

As if seriously thinking things over Seungmin furrowed his eyebrows and to be extra dramatic crossed his arms. You loved how giddy he felt after your kiss. It felt nice knowing you weren’t the only one losing your shit on the inside.

Seungmin smiled, and you knew immediately he was about to smartass you. You tried to turn away from him to not give him the satisfaction but he was quicker. He wrapped his arms around you and brought you closer to his body, his forehead gently resting on yours. “You love me!” After rolling your eyes at his goofyness you sighed in defeat and relaxed into the hug.

“You know what? I do.” You leaned in and sealed your lips again to further confirm your feelings. You would have hurt your leg a long time ago if you knew it things would end up like this.

Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated^^

Taglist (feel free to either comment or massage me if you want to be added to my taglist ❤️) : @velvetmoonlght

If you like my work you can buy me coffee🩷

[neomujinjja]

Our Birthday

Pairing: Lee Heeseung x female! reader

Length: 1,491 words Genre: Birthday special, fluff, smut, MDNI

Synopsis: Your and your boyfriend's birthdays are about a week apart: meaning it's easier to celebrate them, privately, together.

Warnings: sharing an birthday, heeseung making food innuendoes about reader, motorcyclist heeseung, reader & hee pretty much only call each other by pet names, smut is at the end (indicated by two dashes), fingering w/ no lube (remember to use lube, folks), mild cursing, boob man heeseung, sex w/ clothing on (reader)

Note: Inspired by the fact that me & hee's birthdays are actually 8 days apart 🤭 but this one kind of escaped me in a way i've never experienced. writing a flirty hee is dangerous! (pretty sure i got possessed or something while writing this) either way i'm still quite new to writing sexual scenes so please be nice 🫣

pinterest board

── ⋆⋅ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ ⋅⋆ ─── ⋆⋅ ಇ⋅⋆ ──

"Wow," you breathed out, watching as the waiter placed your food onto the table. "It looks so delicious," you said with your eyes never leaving the plate. Heeseung smiled as he took in your practically salivating mouth and amazed eyes.

"So do you," he casually flirted, the words having come out of his mouth naturally. Though Heeseung was only speaking the truth. You were wearing a mini princess dress, the cut highlighting your waist and chest. You snapped your head up at your boyfriend, hitting his arm lightly as you whispered 'Stop it'. Your boyfriend, ever the tease, only chuckled as he leaned over the table to enter your space. "Happy birthday, baby" Heeseung said then sweetly pecking your lips. You inched your hand across the table, tangling your fingers with his as you hummed in thanks.

"And Happy birthday to you, baby" you replied, bringing his lips back to yours for another kiss. You laughed as the male pulled you back for one more and then another.

"Taste good too" Heeseung muttered to himself. The comment went unnoticed by you as you gave attention back to your food. Picking up a piece of steak with some pasta, you dug in. You furrowed your eyebrows and frowned at the taste before making another fork.

"Baby, you've got to try some" You held your fork out to feed your boyfriend. "It's so tasty~" you informed him with sparkling eyes. Heeseung leaned over again, mouth opened wide to try your dish. He hummed, nodding in agreement. "How does yours taste?" you asked with your mouth already open to try. The male could only laugh as he fed you some of his dish. You gently nodded while throwing a thumbs up. The two of you conversed throughout your meal, enjoying the good atmosphere.

❀‿‿‿‿‿‿‿❀

"Does that mean I can enjoy my dessert now?" Heeseung asked lowly as he watched you place your plate to your side. You blushed as you registered his words.

"Sure, let's get out of here and I'm all yours," you replied to the male, not one to go down without a fight. You slowly brought your foot up his legs, also lightly grazing his hand with your finger as you did. Heeseung turned quickly, his hand up to signal for the waiter. You laughed at your boyfriend's eager actions. Your boyfriend hurriedly paid, placing cash in the receipt envelope before grabbing your hand. You struggled to keep up as Heeseung led the two of you to where he parked his motorcycle. He sweetly put his jacket and helmet on you before straddling his bike. The two of you peeled out the parking lot once Heeseung determined you were safely secured. Waiting till a red light, you allowed your hand to drift down his waist.

"Don't tease me," he spoke as he grabbed your hands and placed them back to their proper position. "or I'll make you regret it," he added before taking off again. You squealed with laughter spilling out from you as you squeezed your boyfriend's waist. The two of you reached your shared apartment in what seemed like an eternity but also a snap of the fingers. Neither of you could hardly hold back anymore, the hormones rushing through your bloodstreams making you feel impatient.

❀‿‿‿‿‿‿‿❀

You slammed into the entry's wall, Heeseung pressing himself into your body. The two of you were chest to chest, his hands tightly gripping your hips to keep them in place against his. He closed the door with his foot as his lips ravished yours. You moaned, easily allowing Heeseung to slip his tongue into your mouth. Both of you exploring the expanse and licking up at each other's teeth. Your fingers crept their way into Heeseung's top, your nails digging at his shoulder. The kiss got sloppy as your breathing became heavier. Inhaling deeply in the small instances your lips separated. Heeseung pulled away, although quickly attaching himself back to your neck causing your head to thump against the wall.

"Baby, please" you breathed out, your other hand pulling at his hair. You were past the point of patience for foreplay, you needed him in more ways than his mouth. The male smirked against your skin as he stopped mouthing at your clavicle.

"Yes?" His voice came out syrupy and teasing. "What do you need from me, baby? Tell me," Heeseung demanded, moving to make eye contact with you. His eyes domineering and dark with lust.

"You. I need you, Hee" you whined, trying but unable to grind your hips into his. Heeseung watched, eyes sparkling, as you squirmed in his hold.

"Here?" Heeseung's left hand trailed down to your thigh, rubbing the thick muscle with his thumb. You shook your head, your breath hitched as his digit got close to where you wanted. "No?" he said as he pretended to be confused by your desire. Heeseung slowly moved his hand up your dress, beginning to mess with your underwear. "Lace," he said with a smile as he rubbed the fabric in-between his fingertips. "You sure know how to wrap a present, baby" he whispered. Heeseung's fingers slipped your panties to the side, one finger inserting itself into your vaginal opening. Your fingers tightened their grip on your boyfriend as he began working you loose. A loud moan escaped you, head falling back once again, as his thumb brushed over your clit. "Did you wear this just for me?" Heeseung asked as he buried his face into the side of your neck.

You nodded as you struggled out a response to him. "Yea-" a gasp interruppted you as he curled his finger inside of you. "It's all for you," you told your boyfriend as you scrunched your eyes in pleasure. Heeseung hummed in sastification, nipping at a spot he knew was sensitive to you. Another finger joining at the action, your boyfriend also picking up the speed. He wrapped your leg around his waist causing your moans to grow loader.

"Fuck, Y/N! Can I.." Heeseung exclaimed, pausing as his breath came out in hot puffs. "Can I fuck you now? Please?" he asked as he moved, beginning to kiss the side of your face. You nodded, begging with a strangled series of yes and pleases. A third finger quickly became involved as he waited for your articulated answer. Heeseung pumped his fingers in and out for extra measure before fully taking them out. Grabbing your other thigh, lifting you up, he carried you to your bed. You mouthed at his neck, sucking at the base of his neck. Ever the gentleman, Heeseung gently laid you on the bed. The two of you shared a loving kiss as he dragged your underwear down your legs.

"Hee~ Need you" you urged your boyfriend. You began unbuttoning his dress shirt as Heeseung struggled against his belt and pants.

"I'm coming, baby. Gonna make you feel so good. Don't worry," he mumbled, pressing various lengths of kisses on your lips. You watched intently as Heeseung shredding his clothing. While staring, you pumped a squirt of lube onto your hand. Warming it within your palm before stroking his penis, you prepared your boyfriend. "Ready?" he asked, looking into your eyes for confirmation.

"Ready."

The both of you moaned as Heeseung entered you. Cursing as he waited for your cue, he bowed his head into your chest. "Green" you told him, squeezing his bicep as well. Heeseung bite at your breast as he began moving, hand pulling the neckline down. Fondling any part of your body with his hands, he established a steady pace. You let out a choked scream as Heeseung's teeth grazed your nipple before sucking on it. "Deeper~" you pleaded to the male, grinding up for emphasis. Heeseung reangled his hips, happy to grant your wish, while maintaining the same speed. You raked your nails down his back, arching your body into his as you felt his cock rub against your G-spot. "Right there! baby," you cried out with tightly closed eyes. Heeseung grew vigorous at your reaction, his thrusts moving you forward up the bed. You stuck out a hand to prevent hitting the headboard. "Fuck!" you moaned as you felt your orgasm grow hotter.

"Go ahead, baby. I got you," Heeseung grunted, leaning down to kiss you. He slipped his finger between your bodies, stimulating your clit. "Cum for me." You moaned again, body shaking as pleasure washed through you. Heeseung followed soon after, his orgasm spurred by your canal squeezing him. Pressing your foreheads together, the two of you took a silent moment to recover.

"You okay, baby?" you asked, holding his face in your hands. Heeseung nodded before pecking you on the lips.

"You okay?" he asked, opening his eyes to inspect your face as best as possible without detaching from you.

"I'm perfect," you told him. You gave your boyfriend another peck, a tired smile breaking out onto your lips.

[blueberry-sodatab]

about me (a random tumblr user that’s happened to pop up on your feed)

hi, i am soda!

💜im genderfluid and use they/she/he pronouns (they change but because none of you know me just pick one and go with that)

💜i’m abro/lesbian and open to relationships, mostly qpr’s of some kind

💜i’m 19 and have dyslexia, audhd, and social anxiety

💜i do art, which is very obvious… i’m also working on a few fics which might not see the light of day until i get adhd meds, but hopefully i can share them with you soon.

💜and obviously this is a safe space for the whole lgbtqia+ and the disabled community. i do not judge and all of you are welcome, and i do mean all. straights are welcome to i guess… ugh /hj (just don’t be mean and we are fine)

my current hyperfixationss are:

-murder drones

-oxenfree

-my oc’s

-rc9gn

-ZenlessZoneZero

~other info!~

💜feel free to request little doodles or ideas. or questions, or whatever :/ i’d love to talk about md or my oc’s (who wouldn’t?) or others oc’s, i don’t do full on art commissions but if it’s a good drawing idea i might not have to pass up on it-

💜i’m open to friends/mutuals and my dm’s are open just don’t be a creep..

💜if you use my art in anyway shape or form please credit me properly, especially on pinterest omg- (i see you). you don’t need my permission just credit me. this includes art style studies (if you find part of my works pleasing and want to incorporate it to your art works that’s totally fine- no credit needed there. i’m not fussy if people take inspiration from me or heavily reference my art style. i’m more flattered you like it)

i don’t have a lot of other socials but have a link tree (discord is- soda._.tab)

🇵🇸 ALSO!!! 🇵🇸

i have been getting a lots of dms and askes/questions from people in Gaza and what’s been going on.

to thoes people sending them:

i do not have money to donate at the moment but please by all means i will happily share your information so others can and to get the word out. i may not fully respond to a dm but you are not being ignored. send a dm or question and i will immediately get to your page with all your links and story (or as soon as i see it) and share and repost it. you have my support ❤️ and i wish you and your family nothing but the best, when i can i will donate.

ليس لدي أموال للتبرع بها في الوقت الحالي ولكن من فضلك، بكل الوسائل، سأشارك معلوماتك بكل سرور حتى يتمكن الآخرون من نشر الخبر. قد لا أرد بشكل كامل على رسالة مباشر�� ولكن لا يتم تجاهلك. أرسل رسالة مباشرة أو سؤالًا وسأصل فورًا إلى صفحتك بكل روابطك وقصتك (أو بمجرد رؤيتها) ومشاركتها وإعادة نشرها. لديك دعمي ❤️ ولا أتمنى لك ولعائلتك سوى الأفضل، عندما أستطيع التبرع.

ترجمة جوجل، آسف إذا لم تكن مثالية للقراءة

[nolita-fairytale]

your instagram feed as a pastry chef dating carmen berzatto (& headcanon)

i made this as a companion piece to 'make my heart surrender.' reader's instagram feed after you move to chicago and headcanon about boyfriend!carmy.

if you haven’t yet, you can read ‘make my heart surrender’ here.

images are all from pinterest. if you own one of these and would like me to take it down, please let me know! i could see reader's instagram feed looking something like @apartmentmiso's insta.

your life in chicago would include:

when you first move to chicago, the two of you are like giddy kids in love who can't get enough of each other.

while you get your own place, it's almost a moot point because you spend so much of your time together between the restaurant and sleepovers. it doesn't take long for you and carmy to decide that you should just live together. and six months later (spring 2023-ish) his lease is up, and since he has less crap to move, he decides to move in with you.

it's certainly an adjustment, and it's important for you to have separate spaces/hobbies too. carmy def has an avoidant attachment system (and you def have some strong avoidant tendencies too), so you both need space sometimes to go to shut down for a little bit. sometimes your relationship feels like it's moving so quickly, and other times, it feels like a natural pace considering you platonically dated for years before.

carmy as a boyfriend: carmy is such a loving boyfriend. we know that he is an acts of service king, so while he may not always have the right words to convey his feelings or communicate (he's working on it) he's always looking for a way to show you he loves you. since this is his first real relationship, you have to be patient with him as he learns how to be a partner. it works because you know he is trying, and you often remind him that it's like when you guys were best friends in new york, except now you get to have sex.

this is a deeply passionate relationship because you both very intense people in your own ways. being loved causes carmy to soften a little. though he's still just as laser-focused and commanding in the kitchen, he's also more openly empathetic. as he explores what connecting with you feels like, it helps him connect with others better. being loved by carmy brightens you, lifts you up, and makes you feel lighter.

when the time is right, you ask him if it's okay to call him by the family nickname, 'bear.' it feels too intimate to do off-the-cuff, and he's more than happy to say yes.

lots of farmers' market dates when you both can get a saturday or sunday morning off.

being there for him as he feels more and more ready to talk about his relationship with mikey. every anniversary and birthday feels heavy, especially as carmy starts processing his grief and guilt.

when you get into fights because he's being a dick or not letting you in, or you're pushing him too hard, you both agree to take a time out before having a conversation. even when it's a big fight and there's yelling and arguing (and maybe some argument sex), you both are committed to making this work. it's surprisingly healthy and a product of the both of you being in therapy.

the first time you fight, carmy freaks the fuck out and thinks it may be over, and you have to explain to him that sometimes couples fight. you both agree to love each other, even when you hate each other.

you both love a secondhand moment and spend your days off thrifting vintage denim and one of a kind pieces. you're that annoyingly stylish couple that always looks good and always finds the best things secondhand.

in terms of separate hobbies, you get really involved in your local urban garden and begin to help create programs/workshops within their org to foster food accessibility. this becomes a big passion of yours, and it leads you to getting selected for one of the summer james beard chef bootcamp sessions (advocacy intensive for policy change in the food industry)

making the most stunning cakes in and outside of the restaurant (here me out but i feel like you have somewhat of a strong instagram presence as a pastry chef).

speaking of social media: i have this headcanon of everyone realizing that angel has a knack for social media / storytelling, so he takes over the social media account from richie and carmy. angel becomes the main character of the social media account and it's kind of iconic.

you and sydney become close friends, and at some point, you try to set her up with a sous you used to work with who has just moved to chicago.

you love taking photos of carmy when he's not looking -- especially at work. and he hates it but he actually loves the fact that you have a full camera roll of photos of him.

on a day off, one of your favorite things to do if you have the energy, is to make an extravagant layer cake (or some other indulgently time consuming food project) with the windows open on a perfectly warm spring day just for fun. other days the two of you lay around, sleep in, and enjoy doing absolutely nothing.

the two of you adopt a little black kitty from a local shelter and name them aioli

helping carmy adjust to having more downtime when the bear begins hiring more staff and he's not needed 24/7. he struggles with letting go of some control, but begins to appreciate having more than one day off a week.

nsfw thoughts:

okay so we already know that our acts of service king loves to go down on his partner. like i'm genuinely so obsessed with the fact that as a fandom we universally agree on this. he's also a bit of a people pleaser so... this just makes sense to me.

i do think, for the most part, he lets you lead as you probably have more experience than him, and he wants to learn what you like/don't like.

however, i think over time, he'd definitely gain more confidence in the bedroom and would feel more comfortable taking the lead more often.

the more confident he gets, the more you let him lead, and frankly, you find it really hot when he takes control. like i don't think carmy will ever be a dom daddy, but he would engage in some light spanking, leaving love bites all over you, and fucking you into the mattress by the end of the sesh.

carmy is def a needy bb who loves to be praised/hear that you're his, how much you need him, how good he makes you feel.

[roamwithahungryheart]

Soundproof

Unimaginative title aside, I haven't written something smutty in a hot minute, so here's a little something based on a rather spicy dream I had recently...

Warning(s): Coarse language, dom/sub vibes, fingering, edging/orgasm denial, semi-public sex I guess???

House-hunting had turned out to be a lot harder than you’d imagined.

You’d printed out your favourite listings, made Pinterest boards late at night with a glass of wine and subjected Henry to hours of back-to-back interior design and real estate shows. It had been fun at first, the thrill of searching for your forever home, but now on your sixth house, you were beginning to get frustrated. It felt like slowly knitting a patchwork quilt – each house had a little piece of what you were looking for. You just couldn’t get them to knit together.

Sitting at the kitchen table, you scrolled through the images on your phone one last time, sipping your coffee.

“I bet you twenty quid this house isn’t it.”

Henry quirked an eyebrow. “Just twenty?”

“Okay.” You smacked your lips. “Fifty.”

“That’s more like it.”

“What can I say, I’m a woman who knows what she wants.” You shrugged.

“Oh, I know.” He smiled, leaning down to press a kiss into your hair as he joined you at the table. “I have a good feeling about this one though.”

“You’re just saying that to stop me from stressing out.”

“No I’m not.” He leaned back in his chair, softly clicking his fingers to beckon Kal over. “Kal, bark if I’m telling the truth.”

You waited.

Sure enough, Kal barked.

“See? Truth.”

You shook your head, laughing. “I think he’s really barking for your bacon.” You nodded towards Henry’s plate. “The jungle pig’s foraging again, aren’t you?”

Kal nudged your hand as you petted him. Presented with empty palms, Kal trotted over to Henry, sitting patiently by his side, eyes fixed on the hot bacon sandwich that was now in Henry’s hands. Of course, it didn’t take much for him to give in. The wise old bear had learned how to charm him quite easily. Rolling your eyes, you watched as he gobbled up a few torn pieces of bacon and nuzzled further into Henry’s side.

“We said we wouldn’t feed him from the table anymore!”

“I know, but look at that face.” Henry pouted playfully.

“Alright, we’ll let you off this time, buddy. But next time? Bowl.” You booped Kal on the nose and ruffled the fur under his chin. “Okay, we need to get going shortly. Did you text Dany and Leah to let them know you’ll be late?”

“First thing this morning, my love.”

“Good stuff.” You slapped the table and stood up, reaching for the car keys that were hung up on the side of the refrigerator. “I’ll let Kal out and lock up. You fire up the Rover. Catch!”

With the keys caught, Henry headed out the door.

You both felt bad for leaving Kal at home, but you also didn’t want to risk the bear’s boundless energy resulting in broken ornaments and soiled lawns that would ruin the aesthetic for the next potential buyer.

For the sake of privacy, you’d narrowed your search down to homes that exuded suburban comfort. Some were nestled in little countryside nooks, while others sat on tree-lined streets just a few miles from the centre of London. House number six was a red-brick Victorian semi-detached property in Chiswick. You wanted a driveway, this was street parking only. You wanted a separate dining room, this had an open-plan kitchen and dining room. But you were willing to give it a chance.

“Moment of truth.” You sighed, hopping out of the Range Rover, slamming the door a little louder than you’d intended.

The estate agent seemed to appear out of thin air, startling you both.

“Ready for the tour?” She beamed, ushering you inside.

Things were off to a good start. A bright centre-hallway with enough room for the clutter that would surely mount up over time. The living room had the marble fireplace and bay window you’d dubbed as non-negotiable. Three bedrooms, one bathroom, one en-suite. A spare room you could use either as storage space or a cosy home office.

The estate agent led you back downstairs.

Henry stood back and let you do the talking, knowing he couldn’t possibly get a word in once you’d started babbling buzzwords and pacing around the room.

“The living room is really well-appointed, I’m just not sure about the kitchen.”

The estate agent nodded, tapping her pen against her lips. “I’ll give you a few minutes to gather your thoughts.”

The spacious kitchen overlooked the most treasured of all real estate possessions – a south-facing garden. It was easy to imagine Kal rolling on the grass. Garden parties in the summer. Children laughing as they chased each other. You could picture a life here.

Henry’s warmth surrounded you as he slipped his arms around your waist and kissed your cheek.

“Penny for your thoughts.”

“I’m thinking” you hummed, nuzzling into the crook of his neck “I like this house.”

“So you admit it.” He grinned. “I was right.”

“Up to now, yes.” You spun around to peck him firmly on the lips. “But don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m still waiting for the wow factor.”

Once again, the estate agent caught you off-guard – and had evidently been listening in.

“Did I hear the words ‘wow factor’? Because I think the next room definitely has it. Follow me.”

She led you through the kitchen, past the mudroom and into the garden. To the left of the patio flagstones, there was a hidden staircase leading to the basement. The steps were just steep enough for you to make a mental note to never go down there after a few glasses of pinot grigio.

“You can access this room from inside, but the garden staircase is a fun addition to the property. Just make sure you watch your step.” She chuckled. “It’s a very large, versatile space. So this could be a wine cellar or even a home gym.”

She was right. With its high walls and concrete floor, it could easily be turned into a recreational space that would suit you both equally. You could tell by the way Henry’s eyes had glazed over that he was already planning where to put his gaming PC and install custom shelving.

You caught the real estate agent’s eye then, inclining your head towards Henry.

“I think you’ve won my husband over. Once he gets his games in here I’ll never see him again!”

She shot you a pleased glance and gestured around the room. “It's also completely soundproof, so the neighbours can't complain about noise from your games – or DIY projects.”

There was an edge to her voice that you didn’t appreciate. She didn’t try to hide the darting glance at Henry’s muscular arms. Giving his hand a squeeze, you pressed into him a little further, speaking emphatically.

“You’ve really thrown it with this room. I think my husband and I just need an extra minute to get a proper look at things, if that’s okay?” Your reply was laced with sweetness, but it was satisfying to watch her stand down.

“Absolutely. Take all the time you need. I’ll be waiting upstairs.”

When you could no longer hear her, again you paced the room.

Henry stood with his hands in his pockets, surveying the space. “This would definitely make a good Man Cave.”

You scoffed in amusement. “I thought you’d say that. And you could play all your games without headphones in here, screaming and swearing to your heart’s content.”

Then, Henry smirked. “I could make you scream in here too.”

There it was, that sly glint in his eye that you couldn’t resist.

Your lips quirked up. “Interesting…certainly a lot to think about.”

“Why waste time thinking about it?” He lowered his head slightly, eyes locked with yours, unblinking. “Come here.”

“I don’t think-“ In spite of your protestation, your heartbeat quickened.

His posture changed then, his stance broadening. He wasn’t asking.

“Come here.” He repeated, his voice firm and deep.

You thought then of the disgust – or something like it – you had felt earlier, adding up all the times you’d noticed the real estate agent subtly but shamelessly attempt to flirt with him. He must have felt it too. The fire in his eyes made your breath catch in your throat. This wasn’t spontaneous, this was a lustful act of ownership.

The gap closed between you with the deliberate slowness of a sensual dance. In one swift move, he had you pinned against the wall, his strong hands gripping your hips, pulling you tightly into his growing hardness as he covered your neck with feather-light kisses.

“Henry, I really don’t think we should-“

He hushed you with a searing kiss. It was so easy for him to make you surrender. He was too strong. Your shoulders dropped as you relaxed into him like a ragdoll – his doll to do with as he pleased – eyelashes fluttering, mouth agape as his long fingers brushed along your skirt.

“Fuck.” The word barely escaped your lips as you felt him reach beneath the flowing chiffon, fingertips grazing your thighs. Your eyes closed, head falling back against the cool wall as he teased you over the fabric of your panties. Then –

“No.” He tilted your chin down. “Look at me.”

You didn’t even register the removal of the thin fabric.

His thick fingers plunged into your wetness. One. Two. Caressing your walls in a come-hither motion. You averted his gaze again, your mind blank with pleasure.

“Look at me.” He commanded.

He let out a husky laugh as he watched your breathing grow increasingly ragged at his touch, eliciting gentle moans that became louder and more desperate as he stroked your walls faster.

“Oh God.” Your hips bucked, needing more.

“You’re so wet for me.”

You hummed breathlessly. Every inch of you tingled, the flutter of your impending climax so close to its crescendo as he thrust harder, deeper into you, hitting that sweet spot only he could. Over and over. Relentlessly.

“Fuck, Henry, I’m so close.” You panted, grasping his shoulder. “I’m-“

He paused, slowly, torturously sliding his fingers out with a devilish grin.

“Don’t stop.” You whined. “Please, Henry.”

“I love it when you beg me.” He lilted, teasing your folds again. “Tell me again.”

“Don’t stop.” You were stuttering now, legs shaking as he plunged back into you. “I’m going to come.”

“Tell me again.” He was torturing you. He knew exactly how to tease you to the point of delicious frustration.

“I’m going to come. Please let me-“ you stammered – “I’m-“

He stopped and stood back, scanning you as you trembled against the wall. “We should go back upstairs. Wait until we get home.”

@harrysthiccthighss @foodieforthoughts @cavillsbestgal @myloveforhenrycavill @cherry-gemz @blowing-mikey @captainsy-cookiemonster @pussyverson @sillyrabbit81 @viking-raider @demivampirew @zealoushound @keanureevesisbae @honeyloverogers @littlewrenofrivia @beck07990 @christhickevans @luna-aestas @luclittlepond @kebabgirl67 @angreav @omgkatinka @greensleeves888 @cavillsthighs @littlebirdofrivia @angelcavill66 @darklydeliciousdesires @henrys-little-princess @herefortherealdeal @cavills-little-princess @mis-lil-red @nuggsmum @thwick @marytudorbrandon @uncensored-steve-the-platypus @nerdyoldsoul @charmed-asylum @starstruckkittyangel @thereisa8ella​ @miss-rebel-without-applause @abschaffer2 @scorpiobitch95 @marantha @burberrybaby @notabronte @unauthorizedhenry @winter2112rose @dream-ell @oh-for-fic-sake @dontmindmejustprocrastinating @spazzymamahenrylover

[jarofstyles]

yes yes! please continue the CEOrry! SO GOOD

Of course 😎

If you enjoy this, check out our Patreon!

——-

Harry never imagined himself in a situation like this.

Pining after women wasn’t something he did often. They usually threw themselves at him and he either had his fun for the night, or rejected them. He didn’t think too much of their feelings, or their interests. He didnt hang on to their words as they spoke and write notes into his personal journal about things she likes and dislikes.

The list so far?

Likes:

-orange cats

-caramel coffee

-the summer rain smell

-the colors pink and yellow

-quesadillas

-crochet tote bags

-silk eye masks

-thrift stores (especially with shop cats)

Dislikes:

-chocolate orange flavor combination

-overcast days

-bowler hats

-the mailman (unknown reason)

-popcorn kernels

-in n’ out (bad experience, apparently.

She was overtaking his own personal life. Being his assistant, of course she would be more prompt to being deeper than more employees. But he couldn’t help but pick out red ties more often because she complimented him in the color. She had gotten him a refrigerator magnet in Ocean City when she went for a girls weekend, and it was the sole magnet in the small water fridge in his office. She left traces of herself in his life that he couldn’t possibly ignore.

The most invasive and troublesome being his sex life.

He was getting to the point where he couldn’t get off without thinking about her. About her voice, her touch, the smell. His tiny, filthy and shameful snippets of when she leaned on his desk and he had caught a nice glimpse of breast, or the couple times she had bent over and given him an eyeful of her tiny panties and ass… how her dress would cling to her or the time she had accidentally soaked her white shirt with her water bottle and given him a view of her braless chest by accident…

Yeah. Every time he wrapped his hand around the thick shaft of his cock, it was a fantasy of her. The best orgasms so far in his life, only to be rudely awoken by the fact it was all fantasy. So what the fuck was it going to be like if he got his hands on her?

Y/N, unbeknownst to him was in the same boat. Smitten with his snarky comments, his thoughtfulness not many saw, and god, his beautiful face. It wasn’t lost on her that his gentleness was only to her. She had seen him yell too many times at other people and as soon as she would walk in, his tone would soften when directed at her. She got away with a lot more than others did and it did make people… talk.

They talked all about how she must have slept her way into the job. Placed bets on how long it would take her to get fired for not dropping to her knees fast enough. And while it wasn’t everyone, she did overhear it enough to make her upset. Hell, she wished she was getting dicked down by her boss, bur she wasn’t! And they still had all of the nerve to say it just because she had managed to stick around longer than the others. Understandable, Burt hurtful.

Harry was stuck, really. He knew that he either had to ignore it or make a move. But still, he was unclear about if she was actually into him- or if it was just wishful thinking. She was so kind to everyone, and he really wasn’t warm and fuzzy. His feelings were probably a bit more obvious, he thinks, and she hasn’t made a move. Was it because there was no reciprocation, or because they were at work?

He would need to figure it out.

“Y/N?” He called out to her desk which was outside of his. Another thing that had changed was his door staying open during the day more often. He liked to hear if anyone came up and was flirting with her, if he was being totally honest with himself. He had caught it a few times and that unholy possessiveness reared it’s ugly head. Plus, it made it easier to call to her.

Y/N perked up, standing up and striding towards his door. Upon his instruction of closing the door and coming closer, she did. Her mind went to mush though, because he looked…. So fucking good. With his hair slightly messed up for once, his white button up a bit tighter than normal around his biceps… she felt weak and dazed simply looking at him. His powerful aura was so, so sexy.

“I need help with a project after hours.” He was winging it. Completely and utterly winging it. “I’m redoing my den area in my home… and I’d like you to help me do it. You’ve got design experience, yes?” He crossed his arms, trying to not stare too hard at anything other than her face. It was hard.

“Oh- I’m, yes? But I’m not too good, I just make those Pinterest boards like I showed you? I was just planning and-“

“Good. I liked when you showed me them. My home is very boring. Sterile. And I would like some more… character.” In reality, it was just going to make him go insane even more at home. Seeing her in his living space. Things she picks out in his living room. It was so stupidly dangerous for their professional relationship considering how close Harry was to jumping her bones, but he wanted time away from the office to see if he was imagining her flirtations.

She was overwhelmed by the offer, but couldn’t say no. Not when it gave her an excuse to see him… in potentially casual clothes, and feeding her nosy imagination for his house. Plus, she loved to decorate. What could go wrong?

“O-okay, sure. When would you like me to be doing this?” Her voice raised in pitch, showing her nerves slightly. Adorable. He loved getting reactions out of her.

“Some hours during the weekends. You will be compensated and fed, of course. And I will be with you. We will do the shopping wherever you see fit. But you know me. I am very particular, so I wish to be involved in this process. The most I can be.”

Weekends. Alone with his assistant that he wanted to make his own so badly that he had to clench his fists to avoid grabbing at times. The assistant that had been the main star of his fantasies, the assistant that made his palms sweat and heart race.

He was interested in seeing how it turned out.

[katsukis-angel]

NSFW Alphabet - Beelzebub

❥ Warnings ~ NSFW / Smut

❥ A / N ~ Ahh this is my first time writing anything like this 😳 I hope I did okay 🥺

❥ Fanart ~ Pinterest, Lotus Kaetzchen 💗

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

❥ This baby is so gentle with you afterwards, he makes sure that you’re all cleaned up, getting you a drink and a snack, constantly checking you’re okay, especially considering how big demons are against humans

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

❥ Beels favourite body part are thighs and breasts, like chicken ha, he doesn’t care how big or small they are he just loves them! As for you your body part on him would be either his thighs or his arms, his arms are just so strong and warm and his thighs are just huge! This boy has some serious muscle 😳

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

❥ He makes quite a lot, so he doesn’t mind where he does it as long as you’re comfortable with it, personally though he likes cumming inside

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

❥ He’s always wanted you to lick cream off of his dick - he just thought you’d look cute doing it

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

❥ He’s actually decently experienced, but most of the girls he was with didn’t really want him because they loved him they used him for his status and body 😖, so he’s a little nervous about going straight into it again - however once he’s comfortable with you he will be amazing!

❥ Hes very good with his tongue

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

❥ Either classic missionary or with you say on his lap, he likes being in control but he doesn’t mind - either way he loves being able to see you

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

❥ Hes unintentionally goofy, like sometimes he’ll say something that makes you giggle and he gets a little confused but smiles with you, however he’s also a little clumsy too because he’s just so big so you’ve had your fair share of broken beds and banged heads

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

❥ Well it depends, he doesn’t always bother shaving but sometimes he does it, he will work with whatever you want tbh, but overall he tends to have trimmed himself well

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

❥ Hes so sweet and romantic 🥺 he likes to praise you and make sure you’re feeling okay, constantly checking that you’re enjoying yourself and that your comfortable - sometimes he sets up a bath with scented candles or he puts rose petals on the bed, this boy can be so romantic sometimes

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

❥ He doesn’t actually do it that much - occasionally he feels the need, and he did it a lot more before he met you. He had a lot of self control though.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

❥ His top two are his size kink and breeding kink, he’s very protective of you and they play into his kinks, because he’s around (I say this idk if it’s cannon) 7,0 tall anyone is smaller than him but still he likes the difference in size he finds it adorable and gives him an ego boost - also he can carry you - and breeding kink is simply from his demonic nature he just feels the need to claim what’s his, kind of thing. As for other kinks probably pet play or food play.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

❥ He’s a simple guy - he mostly likes doing it in either his room or yours, yours being his preferred space so that his brother isn’t around (not that Mammon doesn’t barge into yours all the time anyway). He would also like doing it either in the kitchen / dining room or at the gym

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

❥ He has this one thing that really gets him going and it’s whenever you feed him - he finds it adorable and he feels so loved it spreads all over his body. As well as that whenever you’re close up against him, whether that’s being cramped in a hallway or on a bus (if they even have busses in Devildom lmao), the thought of being so close but yet so far excites him

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

❥ Anything that really hurts you - so he wouldn’t mind spanking but stuff that is painful for you and doesn’t provide you any pleasure

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

❥ He likes giving - after all eating is his favourite thing to do - he could spend hours eating you out. However he loves it when you give because his size kink really comes out to play

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

❥ He is fast and a little rough but only if you want him to be. On more romantic nights he will be a lot of sensual and slow, really he only cares as long as you’re feeling okay with it

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

❥ Loves them! He thinks they’re great! It means he can do it and then go get some food then come back again and just keep repeating this process till you’re tired

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

❥ Tbh he doesn’t mind experimenting, whatever you wanna do he down for! He’s not letting you peg him though so don’t even think about it - I can see you thinking about it - not without a food bribe anyway

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

❥ SO MANY OMG - like you haven’t even found out how many times this boy can go, he just keeps going and is just down for whatever whenever, good luck thinking you can outlast him or tire him out - it’s not happening

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

❥ Reallu this one is up to you - he doesn’t mind you using toys but he prefers it to just be him that helps you get off but whatever keeps you happy keeps him happy

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

❥ Sometimes he loves teasing you, it’s in his nature he is a demon afterall. He likes teasing you by intentionally forgetting his shirt around the house, soemtimes if you have food on your face he lick it off and he can get a little grabby at times

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

❥ Hes not particularly loud, he groans a lot though and likes to whisper small praises against your ear and moan into your ears

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

❥ Hes always wanted to be sucked off under a table as he eats his favourite food - it would be his idea of heaven

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

❥ 10 ... 10 whole inches - honestly it’s scary - I mean it’s really pretty but it’s just so big 😳 hence why he is constantly making sure that you’re okay ...

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

❥ Decently high - tbh he’s down to do it whenever you’re interested however when he wants it he gets very needy and cute

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

❥ Awww this little cutie falls asleep so quickly, he gets grouchy if he hasn’t had enough sleep, but he feels happy to sleep though because he’s got you snuggled against him and a full stomach of snacks

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

[plussizeappreciationfics]

Series: Just the assistant..?

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Plus sized reader

Summary: [Y/N], Tom's personal assistant knows that she shouldn't have fallen in love with her employer but she just couldn't help herself. When she thinks that her biggest wish is about to come true, a third party arrives and makes her question whether she'd ever have a chance to escape her situation and simply be loved back by the person she loves the most...

Warning(s): adult language

Word count: 2,3k 

Picture(s) found on: Pinterest/Google

CHAPTER TWO: The boundaries have been overstepped

“I’m fine, just make sure that the stylist closes the door behind her once you’re gone” [Y/N] spoke into her phone before letting out a soft cough, her throat sore and itchy. She heard a long sigh from the other end of the line and rolled her eyes.

“Tom, this isn’t the first time I’m sick. So what, I caught a cold a three days ago, it’s not the end of the world” she couldn’t see the actor’s frown increasing on his face as he listened to her weak voice explaining her situation. 

Hours before, the assistant had been tossing and turning in her bed for quite a while, her body not being at peace because it longed to be held again by Tom. She couldn’t stop thinking about the dinner, how intense his stares has been and how he suddenly seemed so interested in her. [Y/N] was staring at the dark ceiling of her room and shook her head in contentment, having a feeling that something special would happen to her very soon.

He felt bad because he technically had been the reason his assistant had gotten sick in the first place; After their celebration dinner, Tom had ended up not being able to fall asleep, so he had called [Y/N] over and they ended up stargazing in his backyard, barely speaking a word with each other. They just sat next to each other, shoulders and arms touching and looked up the beautiful sky with a faint smile ghosting on their lips.

By the time [Y/N] had returned home, she was a coughing and sneezing mess and thus resulted in her having to take a week off because she had caught a nasty cold. She was on her 4th day off and pretty much enjoyed not having to do much physical activity besides feeding herself and taking her medication on time.

“Tom? Are you still there?” the assistant asked, wondering why he was being so silent. The actor cleared his throat and felt his stomach churn in discomfort, the intense need to take care of [Y/N] making it hard for him to focus on anything else. He couldn’t have a good day while knowing that she was in poor health and discomfort, he wished that he could heal her with a simple hug but that was obviously impossible.

Her thoughts had been interrupted by Tom calling her, nervously asking her if his call wasn’t a disturbance because the world was fast asleep. [Y/N] gently told him that she hadn’t been able to sleep either before happily accepting his invitation to stargaze in his backyard as he had one of the best views.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m still here…Just let me know if there’s anything I can do for you. Anything. I-need you-I mean we need you strong and healthy again” Tom added a quick fake cough at the end as he had realized that he was starting to slip, he had been thinking about his assistant a lot the past few days and had found himself calling and texting her more than usual, she reciprocated to his mood and energy though. So he knew that he wasn’t bothering her at all.

Her stomach was fluttering in delight and she couldn’t help but smile and stare into space. Something is happening, Tom has been very attentive and kinda needy of my presence the last few days…Maybe he’s starting to feel the same way…Or maybe he’s going through something and is gathering the courage to finally share it with me…

“I’ll be fineeeeee, just don’t forget to tell me who your costars will be on the play. Bye” and with that, [Y/N] quickly hung up the phone before releasing the breath she didn’t know she was holding in. She had heard the slip up and forced herself to not read too much in between the lines. 

“Anyhow” [Y/N] muttered to herself while getting comfortable under the warm sheets of her bed. She still had three days of peace and quiet and was enjoying them by getting as much sleep as possible and catching up with her reading list. Today she would’ve had a busy day ahead; Tom had 2 talk shows appearances. 

She thankfully already had helped him arrange his wardrobe for the appearances through her phone and laptop, the stylist only had to come by and deliver the suits, which would be in an hour, but [Y/N] already had strictly (but kindly) instructed her to do her job and make sure that everything was alright with the clothes.

Tom had gotten a fresh trim the morning and had decided to let his long curls stay the way they were (because [Y/N] had voiced a nice compliment about the way it looked so the actor silently decided to grow it out a little more).

His driver was also on his way as he preferred to be driven to public events. Tom’s fans were known for blocking entries and streets once they’d know he’d be present somewhere. He loved his fans to death, but he knew that driving himself through a sea of frantic people (with his already bad eyesight) could cause a serious accident. 

Everything that had to be done, was done. So, [Y/N] was able to relax and focus on getting her health back on track.

She took one final glance at her phone before locking the screen and placing it on her nightstand, feeling tired and sore. It didn’t take her long to fall asleep, with her special someone lingering in her mind…

“What are you doing here?” [Y/N] wondered in confusion upon seeing Tom welcome himself into her home, his jacket already removed along with the shoes. He then made his way over to the couch where she comfortably seated, her phone in her hand and looking through her mails. She silently was thankfully for the shower she had taken thirty minutes ago because she looked like her normal self and also smelled good.

“I am here to keep you company on your final days off as I know that you have missed my presence oh so much” the actor added a dramatic sigh while sitting next to his assistant and appreciating her beauty from up close. “Of course did I miss you, I can’t stand to be parted from you for so long, oh my dear Thomas” she reciprocated his dramatic and sarcastic tone, although she was being completely honest.

Three days later

“Then we shall enjoy each other’s company before the hectic and busy world seeks our attention again, M’lady” the actor spoke with a chuckle, the bright smile on his face still very much present. He was wearing a simple pair of blue pants and his famous dark blue sweater, he looked as scrumptious as always. 

[Y/N] had to swallow hard as she forced her eyes to not scan him from head to toe, it would make it obvious that she was attracted to him, emotionally and physically. These next few hours certainly would be trick and tempting…

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Tom suggested, placed his arm around her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze for no reason at all (Well…we all know the reason, don’t we?). “Sure, you can pick one out!” [Y/N] spoke with excitement, euphoria pumping through her blood as she now knew that she was addicted to his touch. No one had ever made her feel so comfortable. She was a confident woman but to feel this extra layer of security and comfort just soothed her soul on the daily.

“We can watch whatever you want, darling” Tom mumbled, feeling a rush of contentment himself from purely having her this close to him. [Y/N] took the remote in her hand and opened the Netflix app, she looked through her daily suggestions and the top ten of most popular movies that were currently trending. Tom’s soft fingers were playing with the material of her shirt, reaching the hem of her sleeve and then smoothly drawing random patterns on her soft skin.

“How about Spirited Away? It’s been years since I’ve seen that masterpiece!” [Y/N] happily suggested, “Plus the movie also shows how love can be so strong, even when the two people barely acknowledge or talk about it. It’s all about the actions”. Hearing the short description had the actor instantly curious and so he agreed to watch it, despite never having seen it himself.

Both relaxed against the couch (yes, Tom’s arm still around [Y/N]’s shoulder, now having moved even closer so that their bodies were in constant contact), before the movie was playing on the screen. [Y/N] randomly explained certain scenes that had the actor a little bit confused and once he’d understand the reference or meaning behind it, he couldn’t help but lean in and whisper his thanks into her ear. To say that the tension was thick, sizzling yet light and delicate was an understatement.

__

[Y/N] slowly opened her eyes, letting out a tired sigh while slowly acknowledging the conscious world again. “Mhm” she mumbled, realizing that she had fallen asleep sometime during the movie. She was about to sit up straight when a strong, but gentle grip around her thick waist pulled her back.

Fuck.

She turned her head to look behind her and saw Tom sleeping peacefully, having lied down behind her at some point. He grumbled softly in his slumber before pulling her warm body closer to him again. [Y/N] felt like she was about to have a heart attack. But she still slowly repositioned herself in her previous position and stared at the TV screen.

She knew that they had overstepped a heavy boundary of their professional relationship. But did she feel bad? Nope. She felt so at ease, it was like his arms were made just for her. The current moment was one she had often dreamed about and to actually have the privilege to experience it was just indescribable.

“[Y/N]….” Tom whispered in his sleep, his voice low and rich with smoothness. He was literally trying to pull her into his body, his hands gently squeezing one of her stomach rolls. She felt his toned chest against her back along with the body heat he was radiating onto her, his head now nuzzling in the crook of her neck. When his soft breaths tickled her sensitive skin, [Y/N] thought that she was about to burst into flames. The acts were so intimate yet tender, everything she had always assumed about him now being true.

Tom Hiddleston was a clingy sleep cuddler.

“Fuck” she whispered again when he let out a content sigh, already having tears brim her eyes as this all felt like dream. The man she had been loving for three years now was finally reciprocating her love. 

[Y/N] closed her eyes and enjoyed the amazing feeling of pure love and joy, she even reached her arm out and gently ran her hand through Tom’s soft curls and sighed in pure delight herself. She wished that she could stay like this forever, just the two of them. 

__

“[Y/N]?”

Her eyes fluttered open and she (again) took acknowledgment of her surroundings. She still was lying on her couch, But Tom was now sitting next to her, along with two bags of takeout resting on her coffee table.

“Mhm? I’m awake” [Y/N] mumbled once her brain recognized the sound of Tom’s soft voice calling out for her.

“Are you hungry? I ordered Thai as it’s almost six in the evening and you haven’t eaten anything yet” his gaze was soft and kind. The assistant nodded her head and slowly sat up, silently comprehending that Tom had woken up after she had fallen back asleep again. She felt a pang of disappointment churn in her stomach once she also realized that he was pretending like nothing had happened.

“Thanks Tom, I must have fallen asleep. My bad”

But she also understood and accepted why.

“Nothing to be sorry about, I fell asleep myself and actually had a great rest. The past few days had been very stressful, and I had really needed an afternoon of peace and quiet. So thanks again, [Y/N], for letting me enjoy your company”.

Tom’s appreciation speech actually mended the disappointment she felt, she hadn’t known about the few sorrows and stressed he had had because he hadn’t voiced them to her at all, despite having texted and called her plenty of times throughout the day.

Wow…

“You’re welcome, Tom” was all she was able to respond before reaching for the takeout bags and looking at what deliciousness were awaiting her. She ignored his piercing stare, not knowing why she suddenly was the sole focus of his attention. It was hard doing so because she felt like his eyes were burning holes on the side of her face.

“You’re very beautiful, [Y/N].

She turned to him, a bright smile creeping upon her face as her heart skipped a beat. “Thank you Tom, you are handsome yourself”. He chuckled and finally looked down at his lap, a slight crimson shade appearing on his cheeks as he felt flustered and appreciated.

[Y/N] handed him the second bag of food before removing the items in her own bag. 

“That’s amazing! Do you want me to book a table at your usual restaurant?” [Y/N] asked while feeling happy for Tom’s friends, she knew that he’d have a blast with the play and that sole thought left her smiling to herself while the actor continued to share the details of the upcoming play to her, still sitting very close to her and barely being able to keep her eyes off her beautiful face.

“By the way, I have great news”, [Y/N] hummed as in indication that she was listening while continuing to unpack her food. “Charlie and Zawe have been casted as the other two main characters in the play! We’ll be all going to dinner tomorrow!”

Tag list: @jamesbarnesappreciationclubub  l @pleasantdreamqueen l @disneymarina l l @harleycativy  l @sparklemichele l @melaninmarvel l @amethyst09 l @the-force-of-imagines l @bossyboyd03 l @pebblesz892 l @stars8melanin l @brittyevans l @toc1985 l @janeyboo l @badassbaker l @winters-beauty l @cannonindeez  l @ilovefanfic86  l @adorablespecialsnowflakes l @brittanyovens l @kanupps06 l @jazmynejack l @thebookwormslytherin l @theunsweetenedtruth l @talannalew l @littlexmissxfandomxlover l @amethyst-dreams-and-candy-canes l @crimsonash330 l @booklover2929 l @aranelgrey l @panda-duuu l @thisismysecrethappyplace  l @titty-teetee l @honey-anon l @princess-evans-addict l @hp-hogwartsexpress l @malindacath  l @letsdisneythings l @scorpionchild81 l @shado-raven l @alisoncdariel l @plutoneu l  @queenoftheworldisdead l @briannab1234l @miyaeadys-blog l @thenamelesscorpse2185 l @hihellogoodbyebruh l @nackrosor l @nerdgurl1985 l @2darkskinbeauty l @bugngiz l @african-melanin-goddess l @barnes-wilson-love l @ktiz90 l @let-the-love-in l @forlornfortitude l @robinredboob l @hopefuloperaangelnerd l @kola95 l @partypoison00 l @alwaysadreamingoptimist l @reniescarlett l @g0thicdream l @mayasopinions l @captaintightpants58 l @leillee​ l @kayleighsimone​ 

-Emmanuelle 💋❤️

[somediyprojects]

Peg Board Cross-Stitch Rose by Allison Murray

I was standing in Home Depot looking for a piece of precut plywood that was just right but I didn’t find it. But I DID find 2′ x 4′ piece of peg board. I grabbed it and started walking toward the back. Russell “What are you doing with that?” Me: “I’m going to have it cut.” Russell: “Why?” Me: “Because I’m going to make a huge-ass cross stitch out of it.” Russell: “…”

While the fellow was cutting my piece into two conveniently sizes 2′ x 2′ pieces of pegboard I felt like rubbing my hands together like an evil super villain or a  praying mantis because I felt like a genius. How crafty am I?!? As it turns out someone else published the idea before me!

I’d been working on my gigantic peg board cross stitch little by little and one evening when I was going through my Bloglovin’ feed (actually taking a break from stitching this massive thing on my bed) when I saw it. Someone else and already posted a gigantic peg board cross stitch tutorial on Design Sponge. I yelled “Russell I’ve been scooped!” to which he responded. “Okay.”

The one at Design Sponge (in case you didn’t click the link) uses the full 2×4 size to cross-stitch the family name in a single color and takes around 5 hours to complete. By comparison mine is half the size and took approximately 8-9 hours total using 7 colors of yarn. While they both are based on the same premise, they are totally different projects. If you dig this one, definitely check out the other.

For this project you will need:

2′ x 2′ square foot piece of pegboard (have a 2′ x 4′ board cut into two)

cross stitch pattern – I used this one from The Cheekiest Monkey of All

yarn in 4 colors for the petals

yarn in 2 colors for the leaves

yarn in a background color

black spray paint

oversized plastic needle (made specifically for yarn)

tape and/or hot glue gun

First you’ll need to find a pattern that will work with 23 stitches by 23 stitches. I tried working something up or finding a pattern online but I kept having a specific pattern in mind that I couldn’t find. At my wits end I started searching Pinterest where I found it. The reason nothing I worked out made me happy was because I had this absolutely perfect pattern burned into my brain. Since Mrs. F, aka the cheekiest monkey of all,  had the pattern online I decided I was destined to use her brilliance!

It was slightly too big so I took my ruler and marked out 23×23 making sure that I was able to keep the bulk of the pattern’s detail.

My peg board was originally white and that didn’t go with the color scheme in my mind. A cheap dollar can of black spray paint and I was all set to get to work.

In the pic above is a yarn needle. They sell them as plastic or metal and I have both. Be warned that pegboard this large is kind of awkward to work with. The metal needles are SHARP and trust me that you’re going to jab yourself a time or two. Go plastic. You can find them at hobby stores but I got 2 for $2 at Wal-Mart by the crochet and knitting needles.

To be good and visible you’re going to have to double it up. Simply string your yarn on the needle and tie a knot at the end. Each stitch will be made out of 2 strands rather than 1.

Alternatively you could purchase really thick yarn but I had a problem with that for 2 reasons. 1 – thick yarn is considerably more expensive for considerably less. 2 – there weren’t enough colors to accommodate my pattern well.

In the very beginning I just let the end of my yarn dangle while I was stitching but with changing colors frequently the excess started to get in the way. I began using tape to tack down the yarn hanging out at the beginning and end of each section.

Also because this is a timely undertaking, I would tape my pattern and needle onto the back of the board when I was done for the time to keep from losing them.

This is actually where I was when “I got scooped”. See how often the colors change? It seems like a pain in the neck but the end result is so fantastic that it’s worth it!

Now all of the tape on the back was well and good until it started raining for like 4 days straight. The humidity had tape falling off and winding up everywhere. As a result, I busted out my handy dandy hot glue gun and affixed the ends and snipped the edges. In the end it’s a lot cleaner, anyway.

Put an oversized picture hanger in the middle with a heck of a lot of hot glue.

And here is an up close of the action. It’s kind of like a Monet painting in that the closer you get, the harder it is to make out the image the xs make. Be sure that you have a space to hang or place this big boy where you have plenty of room between you and the hanging. I tested my cross stitch out in a smaller room (my office) and it was more difficult to make out and it was distracting.

And here it is hanging on my kitchen/dinette area wall! I purposefully placed it somewhere I can see it when eating at the table or sitting in “my spot” in the living room. I love, love love this sucker. Thanks again to the cheekiest monkey for creating a fascinating pattern and sharing it on her blog!

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 7)

A/N: This is probably the longest I've written in this series. Again guys, thank you for the support, your comments and likes mean so much! My tag list is always open so feel free to ask. And on a slightly heavy note: the next chapter could be really angsty. Just a heads up right there uwu

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Angst, slight drinking, slight swearing, (yeah the fluff is still present)

W/C: 5k-ish

Tags: @haendel-me-with-care

@mrsdoradominguez-barnes

@mickmoon

@lakef

@mrsmazzello

@valeriecarolinaw

@queen-turtle-boiii

Edited// I forgot to link the previous parts

Parts: 6 5 4 3 2 1

(Got the pic from Pinterest hhh-)

Storing the luggage bag you've purchased for a fair price in the spare room, you come across a small box of sundries tucked in one corner with cobwebs clinging to the sides. Your eyes light up with curiosity spiking within you, you pick it up and dust the webs off, blowing the particles away from the top. You squat on the floor and open the flaps, discovering small yet familiar items that had been lost in time– one of them being a sepia-toned polaroid of you and Ben posing dramatically with hilarious doodles drawn on your faces. You forgot about this, feeling a little guilty that you had hidden it away in a drafty box without remembering doing anything of the sort. You flip the picture over and spot a date and an unfinished sentence written in faded ink on the bottom left part. This was taken on Homecoming night.

'I'm not going-' it says, clearly discontinued next to the date. Silly to think that the picture somehow represents a puzzle piece torn away from its board.

You were bound to graduate the week after and barely a day after, not see each other for several years due to your career paths and post-college choices.

You pull on the hem of your shirt, clearing the picture of dust and any more impurities, finally fitting it into your back pocket to finally treasure it the way it was always meant to be treasured.

The door clicks as you bring it close, your eyes gluing themselves at the hardwood floor seconds to having self-pity billow over you at how quickly your tears surface in the corner of your eyes from the memory of Ben spinning Rosy around - the exact way he did with you -and kissing her like she's a pouch full of life.

You clamp down on your bottom lip, trying your hardest not to stain your cheeks with your pooling tears. "Jeez, you just-" you pace back and forth in frustration, balling your fists as you gesticulate lazily, "you just don't get it, Y/N! Ugh, you're so- fuck, just get over it..." Knowing your harsh soliloquy would be getting you nowhere, you snarl strongly at yourself and roughly wipe your tears away with the back of your hand.

"He loves Rosy. F-freaking deal with it!" The reminder takes a hiss from your quivering lips for it to sink in; you have your own place in his life– a place behind the line you'd drawn in the years prior. The friend zone couldn't be any more hollow and cold than it already is.

And a polaroid pic is the only remnant left of how inseparable you and Ben were in the early days.

At the same time you're feeling your heart tear itself apart, Ben pulls out a picture - similar to what you've found - from the inner pocket of his old varsity jacket in the middle of rummaging through his wardrobe. He leaves his room in his pajamas and tosses himself on the couch next to a sleeping Frankie, softly apologizing to the little beagle for disturbing her cat-like nap. As he cuddles Frankie close, he scrutinizes the picture and it's also from Homecoming, but in it both of you are beaming widely with your arms slung around one another– the doodles ever-so-present on your faces. Behind it, the date and the continuation of the trailed-off sentence written at the back of your share of the memory.

'-anywhere at all.'- it ends in Ben's part of the duality. He grins fondly at the long lost picture, feeling twice as guilty for not keeping it safe and...close to his heart, just as he had promised you that night.

- - - - - - - -

In the convenience of Lucy needing some company to shop with for awards season just as she had returned from her get-away with Rami, she drags you along happily, having to pass through you insisting that you stay at home and study but purposefully ending up under her mercy anyway. You couldn't say no to her, she's basically your sparkly, glam counterpart and you're in need of her life-altering sparkles as of now. Especially since you're going to be tagging along with them, mainly as Joe's date cause you know, you're his 'girlfriend' and all.

You're at the mall, in a stylish boutique full of lines of voguish clothing and shoes that could span miles if not compressed together. For once in the hours you've spent scampering around the mall with Lucy to hoard dresses, skin products and make up, you admit that this is the most aesthetically pleasing space in the entire building.

You traipse along a section with black dresses fashioned into different forms, silently praying that what you have with you will amount to at least one of the varying prices.

Lucy's on the opposite side, ogling at the most colorful section in the boutique for a piece to wear. She peers over at you to make sure you've chosen your 'fighter'. A few swishes of the dresses lined up and you do, holding it up high to evaluate the appropriateness.

It's a sleeveless, halter neck satin that's just a few inches above the knee. Utterly backless but it ends right up the small of your back. The fabric is stretchy enough to move around and breathe in as it simultaneously hugs your shape. You love it but gulp as you prepare yourself for the price. Flipping the tag over, you suddenly wish you could let out the biggest, girlish squeal the human race has ever heard with how surprisingly affordable it is.

"Finally picked out yours?" Lucy pokes her head up playfully and you nod, quite speechless but giddy. She makes a grabby hand at your dress to examine it for herself.

Well she's the fashion guru so why not? You hand her the dress and as she trails her eyes from top to bottom, her mouth falls at the simple yet elegant details. "This is perfect! I highly doubt that it's not going to catch every exposed eye present at the event."

Your flush profusely at her comment. "Thanks but I'll be bringing a coat with me."

That triggered her, but of course you're only teasing. "You better effing not." She warns you and you chuckle, taking the dress from her and evenly brushing the skirt.

"I won't, you can sleep soundly tonight."

You assure her of the possibility. As you exit the boutique with a few bags you're not used to holding, Lucy takes out her phone and gasps, her face contorting with a little disbelief. "Uh oh, this might ruin your mood." She hands you the phone and you gape at her confusingly before taking a quick look.

Ben's posted some updates on his wedding preparations, shockingly tagging you, Joe, Gwil and Lucy in one photo. He's pretty busy alright; unable to text or call you for days but miraculously tagging you out of nowhere.

You come to disregard it until you notice one minute but important detail hidden in plain sight in all of his posts– there isn't a single one with him and Rosy together alone. None of such as well on his new ones.

The only post he's had with a close girl is the one with you, which is at the very bottom of his Instagram feed. You won't admit it but it warms your heart a little. Actually, a whole lot despite wondering why there's none of him and his fiancee. You hand Lucy her phone back and tilt your head to one side, suddenly finding the eagerness to go on shopping. "Let's go."

The following week comes as a radial blur contrasted to the slightly moderate one you just woke up from; your manager phoning you up to take the earliest shift you've had in years at the expense of your allotted time to rest, the heavy workload and rush hours in the upcoming hours followed by the slowest progress of filing your travel documents and visa needed for your departure on the 26th. You've got tons of missed calls from your parents and Joe, who's requested for you to pack up early since you'll be leaving for LA with Lucy on the day of the awards but earlier.

Also noting that you still need to double check the costs for flying to LA and back, ruling out the one exclusive for your flight on the 26th.

For mere days you feel as if you could lose your sanity as your life spirals into madness with everything you're required to do– whether or not you're obliged to do it.

But they are effective distractions for that problem you are still very much preoccupied with. That's a matter noteworthy of later discussion. Amidst all the chaos happening, part of you wishes for Ben to reply to your messages or even talk to you in the slightest. You never bothered to call this week since he's tied up but the least he could do is let you know how he's doing, if he's thinking of you once in a thousand passing seconds.

You give up for a day waiting on him and drown yourself in work.

- - - - - - -

Securing your phone between your tilted head and your shoulder as you indulge in your talk with Joe through the line, you crouch and zip your luggage bag close. Your eyes fixating themselves on two, separate luggage bags for two, separate travels.

"Was that all of it?" Joe's disembodied voice asks. You spring up and take your phone between your fingers. "Pretty much. I better have a kick out of something by the time we touchdown tomorrow– it's my first visit to the US." You inform him, leaping into your bed and landing comfortably.

He chortles softly and ensures you. "I know and you can be sure to expect a good par- ow! Bad kitty!" His smooth transition to a yelp amuses you for split second.

"Are you alright? "

"No. I'm finally feline food to my kid." He refers to his pet cat that has taken a small nibble on his finger, in which Joe returns with a light ruffle to its fur. You can't help but giggle heartily at him.

"Anyway, I'm picking you and Lucy up from LAX tomorrow." He gives you that heads up and you bring your hand up to your forehead. "Where will we be staying?"

"I've booked a hotel earlier so you've got nothing to worry about the moment you land." A faint crunch can be heard from your end and you mind to ask Joe about it. "Are you- are you eating?"

To answer your question, he bites down on his food sloppily and guarantees you of what you heard. You smack your lips together as your eyes narrow in bewilderment.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Sometimes you make it easier for me to hit you with a pillow."

"Is that how you treat your boyfriend?" He taunts at you and cackles, his distorted voice bouncing off of the walls of your room. You sigh, defeated by the fact that this charade is still going on. It's silly and immature yet you and Joe somehow managed to stick to the act.

"Speaking of boyfriend though– would he be furious if I told him that I couldn't be there on his wedding day?" Since you're rested and got nothing else to distract you, you pop the question to Joe.

"Ben?"

You hum softly.

"There are two scenarios that we need to consider," on his end, Joe taps his finger on his lips as he thinks of said scenarios, "Best case scenario- he would get discouraged and slightly unmotivated, and obviously sad, but he'd still support you cause that's your dream."

You sit up and twirl the ends of your hair around your finger, swallowing. "And worst case scenario?"

Joe falls silent before exhaling harshly. "You'd crush his soul, heart, everything ranging from physical to spiritual and it would take a toll– and I mean a substantial toll on your friendship."

"Joe, don't make it sound like a prospect! "

"That is, " he adds strongly, "if he finds out that you had meant for him to be oblivious to it." And he's right. But you had a reason. You still do. Even if you do end up telling him and he supports you, you need a great deal of space to move on.

As long as he's committed to Rosy and you're in the sidelines still in love with him, it's just something toxic. You couldn't love anybody they way you do Ben and you feel like you'll never love someone like him ever again. Albeit how clueless he is sometimes and clumsy, you both had survived every storm and wave. So sticking around to witness him give his hand and heart to someone else is torture for you.

"I'm gonna be direct and say-" just as you begin talking, your phone shrills to another caller, cutting you off from Joe.

One look at the screen and your heart begins racing. Speak of the devil. You reserve an explanation for cutting off and answer Ben, clearing your throat. "You're late."

Ben's gruff chuckle welcomes you back. "I know, I'm so sorry. Busiest week I've had and the lady at Starbucks signed my cup like a snail."

"What are you doing tonight that requires coffee?"

"Call me dramatic- or do so, given that I'm an actor- but I just want to stargaze right now." You hear a light rustle coming from his end, like he's seated out on his lawn.

Silently giving him the 'oh really' look, you spread one side of the curtain to let some moon light in. "Ben, you're leaving early tomorrow."

He hums, seemingly enjoying himself. "But that's not an excuse to not enjoy the night." This boy can not get any cornier. You cast your gaze upon the moon, sighing profoundly. "How did the wedding planning go? Good?"

"Hm, yeah. Church wedding, big reception. Whole lot of booze binging planned out. And a killer bachelor party the day after the awards. " He jokes through the line and you tell him off in a playful chide. "Benjamin Jones, you better-"

"I won't. I won't." You sense his gentle smile from your end, checking the time and reluctantly coming to the decision to hit the hay since you'll be leaving early as well. As much as you want to recreate those late night conversations you once had with him, you can't.

"Hey?" You coo somehow.

"Yeah?"

"I gotta sleep. I have to meet Lucy at the airport at 5."

He gives out a throaty grunt as if he's pulling himself up. "Tragic. I'll see you in LA then, love."

Your lips curl up into the gentlest smile with the moonlight blessing it from the window. "You too. Tell yourself and the rest- especially Brian and Roger- that I'm gonna be rooting for you guys to get up on that stage."

"I will. Thanks for the motivation, Y/N. All the words coming from you just mean so much to me. To all of us." And in his voice, you can hear his utmost sincerity and fondness just highlighting his tone.

"Anytime. Now let me sleep, you bloke. "

"Haha, alright. Love you tons, love."

Shifting your eyes to the sky once more, you reply, allowing the words you're about to say to mean more.

"I love you too, Ben. Good night."

- - - - - - -

24th

You had promised Lucy you'd arrive 10 minutes earlier than her and you really didn't hold on to that promise. As soon as you arrive at the airport nearly bathing in sweat and deaf from the multiple rings Lucy has given you, you both take off to the waiting area with your heavy luggage where you spend an hour and a half waiting for your flight to board. Joe has sent two texts telling you that he's still in the middle of having coffee and it's a questionable action since he's 8 hours behind you and is expected to be asleep by now.

You reply with a simple, "See you there" before heeding to the call of your flight number from the speakers.

All the rushing and you haven't had a bite of breakfast yet. An eleven hour flight doesn't sound so bad, as long as you make sure you don't reel everytime you get up to use the bathroom and acquire jet lag the moment you land from a direct flight without any pit stops. The flight is long as you are awake but by the time you fall asleep in between hours, it shortens the duration. The pilot announcing your arrival wakes you and Lucy from the latest nap you've had on the plane. After gathering your luggage and answering a couple of phone calls on you way down the plane, the arrival area is where you spy Joe behind the red tapes, a scarf around his neck and an eager look plastered on his pale skin, just waiting for you and Lucy to step in. His eyes crinkle as he sees you both treading towards him with a handful of luggage. He greets you both with a tight hug and ushers you to his car, assisting with the transport of your things.

He's booked you in the hotel he's staying in to, of course, avoid some minor inconveniences especially since the awards start at 7 pm and you drastically need Lucy to help you prepare. Upon reaching the hotel, he leads the both of you up the second floor and into the hall for your rooms.

Apparently you and Lucy will be sharing which is the great and Joe will be staying in the room right across yours.

After giving yourselves a brief tour of the room, you settle in and unpack your essentials.

"Y/N, bring out your fighter!" Lucy declares with a giggle, pulling the dress she's chosen from her suitcase. It's a purple, off-the-shoulder, crepe satin and black velvet gown that cascades gracefully against the stable air.

Your eyes widen in awe at how it looks against the light. "No need for a match, Luce. You win," you raise your hands up in surrender, "that's- that's catching more eyes. From Rami of course."

"Oh shut it. You'll look smooth in black." She clicks her tongue and smoothens it at the edge of the bed. You whip out yours and hold it up high, wavering a little at how you'll look like in it tonight. How fortunate you were to find 3-inch, black pumps closeted when you were 'panic packing' the night before. You take it out from your suitcase and set it aside before striding towards the blinds, pulling it up and beholding the breathtaking view of Hollywood before you.

Your first visit to the US and you're already headed to the Oscars. This isn't the real life. This is just fantasy.

- - - - - - - -

"We're having a dinner party afterwards, I don't see any reason for two sandwiches before the ceremony." Staring blankly at how Joe's handling waiting for you and Lucy to emerge from your room, Rami purses his lips quizzically– he's come by to pick up his girl as well. The two men look dashingly handsome in their black tuxes and slick hairstyles– their individual charm strong as they highly anticipate for your appearances.

Joe swallows the chunk in his mouth before speaking. "I'm stressed."

"About what?"

He bites down on his last sandwich, dusting his hands off crumbs as he reasons out. "It's the Oscars. Biggest ceremony of the year."

With a shake of his head, Rami opens his mouth to protest but pauses as the creak of the door behind them butts in their conversation. Lucy - exquisite in her cascading satin gown and look dotted in light to moderate make up - emerges with her purse in hand and eyes heady on Rami.

Joe wishes he could loosen some hinges in Rami's jaw since the latter has got his mouth agape at her girlfriend's evening look. To him, she is his ultimate award and he wouldn't have it in any other way.

"Hey, babe." Lucy smiles delicately and kisses Rami's cheek, to which he responds with a breathless, "Luce, you look..." His starstruck silence finishing his compliment for her. Joe hums, agreeing with crossed arms. "I wish I was as pretty as you, Boynton."

"You boys look handsome, too." Lucy giggles softly and Joe begins to wonder. "Where's Y/N?"

"She'll be out in three...two..." As Lucy deliberately pauses her countdown, you come out of the room, head down as you feel a bit hesitant to continue but you regain your confidence and look up timidly– your appearance putting Joe in the same position Rami was just in with Lucy. The dress really agrees to your form, contouring every curve of your body in a semi-sensual way, guaranteeing that you'll be snagging some looks tonight. Your (H/C) hair frames your face intricately with your light make-up emphasizing the color of your eyes and lips. The light brush of air against the skin of your exposed back makes you clutch your purse tighter, deeming it uncomfortable.

Lucy smiles proudly at her work and that is you. "Well, how does she look Joe?"

Joe lets out a hitched exhale, hazel eyes wide as a sinkhole and a slacked jaw struggling to budge. "Like my girlfriend."

"You wish." You can't help but retort playfully and he brings his finger up to his lips, hushing you. Rami compliments you as well and you thank him as the four of you make your way to the elevator– your arm on Joe's and Lucy's on Rami's.

You've taken a limo for the sake of convenience, since Joe and Rami wanted to propose a pre-toast - with the champagne present in the vehicle - to their successes and hard work in the past year. You have faith they'd bring home an Oscar; considering how spectacular their work was portraying the members of Queen. You're also thrilled that you're about to meet Brian and Roger.

The limo parks just across Dolby Theatre and the four of you climb out, making your way arms-in-arms into the place crowded with paparazzi and attendees. You see yourself as a small fish swimming in a sea full of majestic dolphins. This is the big leagues right here and you're not even one bit of a celebrity– at least you feel like you aren't one. After a couple of shoulder brushes with either familiar and unfamiliar faces and escaping the blinding flashes of the cameras, the four of you reunite with Gwilym who has Roger and Brian present by his side. You are introduced to the two Queen members by Joe and you couldn't be any more happier to meet them in person. A couple of moments of interacting with the rest of the crew and cast, Ben joins the 'party' looking sharp and admittedly drop-dead gorgeous in his white tuxedo blazer and slicked back hair with Rosy by his side.

Before he could even reply to the greetings of his friends, he lays his eyes on you and for a while– his pupils dilate and his expression flits faster than he can command it to. He can't believe what or who he is seeing before him amidst all the glam. Letting go of Rosy's hand for a minute, he steps close to you, indescribably captivated. "Y/N...h-hey."

You keep your composure, musing back. "Hey. You look left out, outfit-wise, and a like a million bucks."

It takes him nearly five seconds to reply with the way hes has his eyes transfixed on you. It's like he's seeing you for the first time. Your evening look setting him back to Homecoming night and something inside him just tweaks. You avoid his mindless gaze and break the silence, trying your hardest not to flush. "Ben, please talk. It's just really-"

"You look...beautiful." He breathes out like he had just gotten up from under water.

[arguedquill1226]

Hollowed Heroes

chapter one (18+, MINORS DO NOT READ)

Summary: BuckyBarnes x FemaleReader-you have a unpolished past but you want a true chance at doing good in the world, to redeem yourself. Oh! And you happen to live and work with the Avengers sense the fall of shield while doing it... everything changes one day when Steve brings home a stray. What can the future hold for you and the team? Will this change the dynamic of missions? Will this stray be the answer to some of your darkest secret? Only time will tell...

Word count: 2,790ish

Taglines: 18+, Marvel AU, angst, explicit language, cursing (more to come as it gets deeper into the story)

Notes: Hi everyone! This is my first ever post of AU Marvel fanfic so please be gentle LOL...in short I've flipped some of the canon facts around like Sam and Steve got really close while shield is still in operation but age of Ultron happened before the triskelion incident in DC. So the facts are still the same but flipped or altered to work for my AU timeline. I'll try to fill in the differences as we go along with the fanfic, but I'mma Bebe writer so bare with me and my terrible grammar and punctuation XD so I apologize ahead of time! Also I do my own photo edits but I get a lot of the pictures of of Pinterest so all the credit goes to the OG poster of those pics...Happy reading & Hope y'all enjoy!

PS. I post from a mobile device so sorry for filling your feed and no keep reading option 😢

Updated on January 22, 2021

••••••••••

Chapter one-

First Impressions…

Tired and your eyes are burning. You casually lean against the wall with your knee bent and foot pushed on a piece of industrial paneling in an open debriefing room surrounded by soft sunlight and windows. It’s fairly early in the morning and you’re zoning out looking at the rich wooden floor while Tony drowns on for what felt like the 10th time on how you and Nat’s night op went and what the information you gathered meant for the “big picture.”

You had completely understood the gist of what he was trying to explain the first time he went over it. But when he gets on a roll with an audience, you know better than to interrupt him or let your sarcasm get the best of you. You and Nat were beat but the others had shown up late to the debrief so you just thought about getting out of your gear and hitting the rack for a few. The room was fairly quiet, with only Tony talking. So it wasn't hard to hear down the corridor a heavy set of metal doors close calmly with an mild echo…a side effect of having such wide open spaces on the operations level of the Avengers compound.

The noise had jarred you out of your dazed thought patterns. When you looked up, it had dawned on you that not everyone you'd had expected to see was in the meeting.

Steve.......where is Steve? Was your initial thought.

You and Steve had gotten close over the last 10 months sense Nat had brought you into the fold a little while before S.H.I.E.L.D fell. About as close as him a Nat. Sam had always joked with you 3 about being “the three musketeers” on ops. But you didn’t care because it was all in fun and was kind of true. You all had your particular skill sets, but also some skills that we’re similar. So it was easy to fall into step with each other.

It was then, you could hear hushed voices right outside the door frame to the room. Within seconds Steve and another man obscured slightly behind his right shoulder had entered, quietly sliding over to lean on the opposite wall from you hoping to not interrupt Tony you had guessed. He'd seemed to notice you following their movements with curious eyes and gave you a kind nod that you returned with a saw smile.

You glanced over quickly at the stranger. He was about as tall as Steve but thicker with broader shoulders. Dark, unkempt hair came down to his jawline obscuring his main features along with the black ball cap he was donning. He wore an Army green utility jacket over a light blue plaid shirt, denim jeans with boots. Dressed very mundane, perhaps too much. What struck you as especially odd was the fact that he was wearing black leather gloves out of season for upstate New York. It was early autumn, still fairly warm outside.

Steve had backed out of this last mission with you and Nat to deal with what he would only describe as a “personal matter,” so you started to wonder if this man had anything to do with that. Steve had explained how he had full confidence in you two to handle a simple stakeout/smash and grab on our own. So neither of you pressed him for more info and wished him luck.

A few seconds later, Tony had finished and everyone was content with all the information given and was about to stand when Tony, being snarky, acknowledged Steve finally showing up to the meeting.

“So nice of you to join us, we were helpless without you Cap!” Tony stated while waving his finger at our fearless leader dripping with sarcasm.

“Sorry Tony, I was hoping to be here earlier to talk to you.” He said a little unsure of Tony’s reaction to the stranger he glanced back at.

At that action, Tony seemed to register something in his memory. Possibly something him and Steve had discussed in private you wondered. Possibly something about this strange man who seem to be fairly familiar to you but you couldn't place him…By this time, everyone but Nat and Sam was staring back at Steve and the stranger waiting for an explanation. Those two seem to know something you and the others didn't. Nat looked at you out of the corner of your eye.

Who was he?...you wondered.

•••••••••••••••

He was nervous walking through the double doors in the corridor leading to a room that he could hear some guy rambling on, the voice sounded vaguely familiar. Looking back at the exit while the doors echoed shut behind them, Steve assured him that he wouldn’t let anything get out of hand and would explain everything to the group who may not understand or be upset that he had found the man Steve new long ago and was bringing him home like some lost pup...which Bucky hated to think of it like that but the man was damn determined and stubborn for him to come back with him. Bucky knew this team was established to do good in the world but he didn’t know if his presence would upset their carefully built dynamic.

Steve had left 3 weeks ago on a solo op that he was quiet about any details to most of the team but Sam and Tony knew. And Nat guessed it when she had seen the three in an incognito meeting disgusting details on a large timeline display of information Friday, Tony’s helpful A.I., had up about the ghost from more than just Steve’s past. Even with how close Steve, Nat and You are…you all have your individual secrets and knowledge that hasn’t come up in conversation. And Steve didn’t know that you had your own run in with the man he was about to walk through the door with right now. But Nat did know, but choose to not tell you this fact and may be regretting it that the moment. But it wasn’t her secret to tell Steve so how was she supposed to explain to him that not everyone may be okay with this.

Nat had warned Steve once at the cemetery when she gave him a copy of the file from Kiev. But she did it again a second time that evening. Before he and Sam left to find his oldest friend. He had promised to take what she said to heart and to not push Bucky or the others into anything they weren’t comfortable with. But they left anyways. Sam had returned alone 8 days after they left and only would say “it went as well as could be expected and Steve (more likely, Bucky) just needed some more time.”

In that time away, the boys found Bucky on a tip from the Smithsonian video feeds and CCTV which of course Bucky didn’t know was a thing. So it wasn’t hard to track him down and they found him in a seedy motel living on stolen credit cards, junk food from gas stations and a few random notebooks looking so lost. They had only left a note on the door to his room, letting Bucky know they wouldn’t bother him. But they added a phone number and that they could help him learn about his past, if he wanted. He thought about it for days before he called the man from the museum exhibition, the one everyone called ‘Captain America.’ He was starting to remember flashes of memories and feelings over the last few months away from Hydra's grasp, but couldn’t seem to make sense of them on his own. So he said, “fuck it!” And met the two men he recognized from that awful day in Washington DC.

•••••••••••••

They did help but his mind was far from perfect and he felt like an exposed nerve walking through the door to the room.

Fuck, so many people!

So he ducked his head and stayed near Steve. Even though he only knew the man for a few short weeks, he felt like he could trust Steve unconditionally which wasn’t a feeling he was used to. He recognized the guy talking as the famous Tony Stark or aka ‘Ironman.’ He was grateful when Tony didn’t really draw attention to him directly and chose instead to pick on Steve.

Bucky took the opportunity to scan the room. An old habit from all the Hydra training or maybe from howling commando days. That wasn’t clear to him yet. He seen some faces that were confused or apprehensive. Two he recognized to be Sam and a girl he thought was named Natalia, he’d hoped she didn’t completely want to shoot him for what he tried to do to her in DC and whatever else he may have done. She didn’t look upset though. She looked unsure, then glanced to a quiet girl he hadn’t noticed until he followed Nat’s eye line.

It was you, a beautiful girl nonchalantly leaning on the wall in a “back of the class” kind of way. With long, YC hair that was a bit wild from the long night and deep YC eyes with messy black smoky eyeshadow that resembled war paint. Dressed in all black, holsters and straps. She wasn’t like Natalia dressed in a sleek look though, more apocalyptic and organic. Weathered Moto pants, combat boots and a loose fitted, faded black tank top that had a worn group of holes reminiscent of bird shot where your utility belt buckle rubs against the material. Your jacket discarded on the floor haphazardly by your feet. Almost familiar to someone or something he’d seen before…wait………..yes……definitely someone………..shit… and the memory slips away…

Bucky was completely stunned by how beautiful you are. But he didn’t want to seem like a creep so he kept his glance short before looking back at Natalia and Sam. He had completely ignored what Steve was saying to his friends, being stuck in his thoughts when he heard Tony say,

“This is James Barnes everybody. Don’t be afraid to say ‘Hi' and remember to show him to his room later, will ya Cap?”

“He prefers Bucky actually,” Steve says nodding his head to the rest of the group “and I will. Thanks again for understanding Tony.”

By this time, Vis, Wanda, Tony, Maria, Rhodey and Clint began filling out of the door past Steve and Bucky with quick greetings and smiles in a hurry to get to their priorities for the day…whatever those were. You found yourself smiling and wanting to giggle at the thought of Clint’s main mission probably being to eat the last donuts in the kitchen of the compound, when you realized Nat had walked up to you and Sam had joined Barnes and Steve by the door. Nat was obviously trying to block his view of you for some reason. As good as she was executing a distraction, she should’ve known better as that was one of your many skill sets too.

That’s when you realized Barnes kept his head coy but was glancing at you periodically over Nat’s shoulder. It wasn’t hard to see because you were slightly taller than Nat so she couldn’t really block him from looking your way. It struck you differently than it usually does when someone stares at you. Normally, you cringe and feel awkward in a personal setting with someone staring at you. But this time it’s like his eyes are drawing you into a trap. His eyes…holy fuck, you hadn’t noticed his eyes. Before they were hidden under the bill of his hat but now they’re looking directly into yours and they’re the brightest slate blue color. You easily spot them from over 15 feet away.

Nat notices your eye contact and she scoops up your jacket and shoves it lightly to your chest. You grab it while she simultaneously hooks her elbow around yours and leads you out of the room. On your way by the three men, she smiles and says,

“see you boys at the gym later.”

Bucky follows you and Nat’s path with his eyes as you hang a left leading into the section that has the hanger bay on your right heading to the elevators on the left that will take you up to the living quarters. He turns back to Sam and Steve to find them looking at him.

“Don’t worry, YourNickName isn’t anyone you need to worry about. She’s actually really cool.” Sam says with a smug smile on his face like he noticed something.

Bucky repeated, “YNN?”

“Ya, it’s short for YFirstN. She’s been working with us for a while now but she’s still kind of the new here too. Now, how about a tour?” Steve added.

Bucky nodded in agreement and they walked out of the room heading in the same direction as you two did. Hoping he may run into you again while Sam and Steve kept pointing out what different sections of the compound were used for.

•••••••••••••

After you and Nat we're a little ways away from the debriefing room, she started some small talk about how nice a hot shower would feel right now and you agreed wholeheartedly. But stepping into the elevator, you couldn't shake the feeling that you wanted to go back and properly say hi to the new guy Bucky and welcome Steve back.

Nat told you with a smile sensing your thoughts, “don't worry, we will see Steve later at the gym. And later for movie night. You know how Tony gets if we don't show up for his events, we should catch up on our sleep now so we're not late.”

You giggle, “events?... It’s a movie Nat.”

“Ya, but Rogers is back and brought Barnes with him so now he’s going to go overboard and really make it a picture show.”

“Yep…agreed. It’ll be a whole thang now!” you say over exaggeratedly with you hands and jacket waving back and forth while rolling your eyes. “Hopefully he doesn’t plan on showing anything Charles Chaplin for our sakes!” you yell jokingly while turning away and jogging down the hall. You hear Nat belly laugh before you both duck into your rooms for some much needed R&R.

It doesn’t take you long to peel your gear off and start the shower. It starts to whistle due to the steaming hot water shooting out of the head while you bun your hair on the top of your head and flop your towel over the rod. Ready for the inevitable soap in your eye somehow because you’re secretly a total klutz. You turn the water down a tad and start your music on your phone and jump in while you start to sing along.

You’re clean and relaxed in no time at all so you shut off the shower and hop out, throw on a tank and shorts and turn the music down a bit. When you walk out of the bathroom you hear a familiar voice pass by your door. It’s Steve saying, “and your room is right here, mine’s just down the hall and Sam’s is around the corner if you need anything.”

A door in the hall latches softly, then…… silence. You open your door to hopefully catch Cap before he runs off and he’s already in front of your door. His hand up looking prepared to knock and eyebrows raised with a smile on his face when he sees you.

“Hey!” he boasts.

“Hey you!” you reach for a quick hug and he gladly accepts. “We all missed you.”

“Well I’m back now. So you don’t need to anymore. Listen, can I ask you a favor?” he asks with a grin.

“Of course!”

“I hope you don’t mind but…uh…I gave Bucky the room next to yours. And I know you don’t really know him…or anything…I guess what I’m asking is, if you see him out and about can you help make him feel welcome…I figured sense you’re still kind of new maybe…” He tries to explain while rubbing the back of his neck and looking shy.

But you hold up your hand to stop his awkwardness and say, ”yeah, of course Steve. Anything for ya.”

“That great, thanks YN, you rock!” he says beaming.

“Not a prob. Now unless you have any better uses for my bed you’d like to personally show me?” you tease with a sarcastically sultry expression to see if he blushes.

“Uhhh…I…” he totally does.

“That’s what I thought,” you giggle and shoo him off. “I’m hitting the rack, night Stevie!”

“But it’s day!” he jokes as he head down the hall as you shut your door.

You climb into bed thoroughly enjoying the thought of how your sense of humor and Steve’s reservoir of pent-up 1940s sass effortlessly fits together. Within seconds of getting comfy and turning off your tunes, you’re out.

Chapter Two coming soon... Masterlist here

***if you liked this please feel free to let me know with a *reblog or ask* thanks so much for reading!!!

[yournewapartment]

So I just got news that I get to live in an apartment for free while I work for my grandparents (they own the complex). I am extremely excited and have been searching Pinterest for DIY things to do. I know to Dollar Store things. But my thing is, I need cat advice. I have a 3 month old kitten I'm bringing and I need help on how to create things for her to use so she can feel comfortable. Anything can help. Thank you!!

So a while back I wrote this super long posted called Living On Your Own (With Cats) and I honestly just think it’s so well written that I’m going to just copy and paste what I said there about making cats feel welcome in new environments. Please hit me up with any additional questions, and good luck to you! I am moving to a new apartment in February and am super excited.

Phase 1: Your New Apartment

Before moving into your new home, follow these steps to make the process as comfortable as possible for your cats. You need to understand that they will be upset and act strange for the first few days, and this is absolutely normal and expected. Give them time- they’ll adjust.

1. Move the cats last. Move everything else you own into your new apartment, and get it set up as much as you can before moving your cats. Make sure there are plenty of places for them to hide that are easily accessible, like under your bed or in the back of a closet. Initially your cats will be very shell-shocked, and it will be easier for them to adjust if they smell familiar furniture and are able to find a secure place to hide.

2. Feliway. Buy yourself Feliway and spray it on walls and around doorways at your kitty’s eye level. I can’t tell you what it is or why it works (Science Side of Tumblr please explain), but your cats smell it and will feel much calmer. Feliway also helps when your cat starts peeing on everything, see Phase 2: Tantrums.

3. Moving your cats. If you have two cats, make sure that you move both cats at the same time. Even if they’re not the best of pals, a familiar face in a time of stress will soothe them. In the car ride they will cry, drool, pee, and sound like they’re dying. This is horrible to hear, but no that it’s only temporary. If you were in their situation you would act the same way!

Hyperventilating. If you hear your cat start to hyperventilate, move them out of the carrier and comfort them immediately. I was transporting a cat with a high fever to the vet once and he started to do this, so I literally pulled over and drove with the cat in my lap the rest of the way. Once in my lap, he relaxed and started to breathe normally. The vet told me that I was lucky I did this, because the cat could’ve had a heart-attack.

4. In the new apartment. Open your cat carrier and allow your cats to explore their new home at their own pace. Depending on your cat’s confidence, they might make a beeline for your bed and hide under it for the next two days. This is absolutely fine. Your cats may not want to eat or use the bathroom during these first few days, and this is normal. You often won’t eat if you’re stressed out, so understand that when they’re hungry, they’ll eat. If one of your cats is very upset, place their food and water bowl in the room they’re hiding in, so that they won’t feel threatened while they eat.

5. Give it time. This could be less than a day or over a week, but your cat will come out from their hiding space of their own accord. They will walk around their new home and take everything in, and they’ll make themselves comfortable. Be there for your cat during this time, offering encouragement and love as they need it. It’s okay if they come out and retreat back to their safe hiding space, tell yourself that they will come out again.

Phase 2: Tantrums

Cats are mostly independent animals, but they do require lots of love and attention. Expect at least one or all of these tantrums to be thrown when you move them into your new home. Your cats are in a new environment that they are not wholly comfortable with, so it’s important to be patient and help them through this difficult time.

1. Pooping. Your cat has an excellent sense of smell- they know where their litter box is. If they’re choosing to poop outside of the box, they are most likely looking for attention. Make sure that the poop has no blood in it (see Phase 4: Veterinarians + Common Diseases) and spend time making your cat feel special. This includes treats, playtime, combing, whatever they like best.

2. Peeing A. Peeing is a form of scenting, which is essentially your cat being like “this is mine”. Your cats will probably do this a lot when you first move in, so make sure you have the proper cleaners ready (see Appendix A). Clean the spot thoroughly, and spray Feliway all over it. Your cat will smell the Feliway and think “Okay, I peed there already” and walk on. I’m not kidding.

3. Peeing B. Peeing can also be an cry for attention, slightly different from scenting. Here’s how to tell the difference- does your cat only pee when you’re around? Typically this will only be done in areas that you frequent, like your bed or your couch. If so, then this is a cry for attention- see “Pooping”.

4. Peeing C. Is your cat declawed? I sure hope not, because that’s inhumane. But anyways, if it is… declawed cats require a different type of litter than the normal Tidy Cats brand. Call your local vet and consult with them about the best types of litter to use.

5. Attacking. Is your cat attacking people/places/things? Get toys and play with them. Cats are evolved from fearsome predators, they need to be stimulated or they’ll get bored and start hunting whatever they can find. Here are some great toys to buy your cats so that they can “hunt” on their own, there’s something in there for every cat type.

Phase 3: A Place For Everyone

Jackson Galaxy is the Cat Guru, and you can find episodes of his show “My Cat From Hell” on Netflix. Whenever Jackson enters a home of a troublesome cat, he always looks at the environment in terms of how “cat-proof” it is. Your cat needs to have their own stuff, and whether this is a cardboard box or a $150 piece of cat furniture, it needs to be there.

1. Bush vs. Tree dweller. I have a bush dweller and a tree dweller! Bush dwellers are the cats that like to hang out under tables and under beds, and they’re thought to be cats with less self-confidence. Tree dwellers like to climb and look down on their surroundings, reconnecting with their ancestors in the jungle. Cater your apartment based off of your cat’s needs. See Phase 6: Miscellaneous to learn more about different cat personalities.

A word on bush dwellers. I was initially very upset to learn that Gretel is considered a low self-esteem cat. I kept trying to think of ways to make her more comfortable her surroundings, in the hopes that she would one day want to climb things and perch up high. Since getting Mason, she has slowly become a bush/tree dweller. She now climbs to the top rung of her cat furniture, and asks me to help her up on the kitchen table (it’s tall so she can’t jump). What I’m trying to say is that cats will gain confidence as they get more comfortable with their surroundings, and having a second and way more confident cat has helped her come into herself, even in her old age. So proud of my baby.

2. Cat furniture. I’m not going to lie to you, cat furniture is hella expensive. But it’s life-changing. Your cats recognize that its a piece of furniture for them, and they will run right over to it and begin exploring. If your cat is wary about climbing to the higher platforms or levels of the furniture, entice them with treats or a toy. The general rule is one piece of furniture per cat, because they will fight over them. If you have a very active cat, I’d recommend getting a multi-leveled piece.

3. Cardboard boxes. The rumors are true- cats love cardboard boxes. Just open it up and leave it in the middle of the floor, and allow your cats to explore. If you’re not ready to drop $$$, place a warm blanket in the box and allow your cats to curl up.

4. Windows. If you leave for work, leave your blinds open for your cats to peer out. If you don’t, they’ll peer out anyway and wreck your blinds. In the summer time it might seem like a nice idea to leave your windows partially open, but always make sure that your window screens are secure. If they’re not, add masking tape around the sides of the window until you can press on the screen and it doesn’t collapse.

5. Food and water. I like to keep a bowl of water in each room for the cats, and I refresh this daily. I like to add ice cubes in the summer so that the water isn’t that awful room temperature. If you feed your cats dry food, make sure that they’re drinking lots of water after eating.

6. Litter box. Yeah, I know- it’s the worst part of being a cat owner. I keep mine in my hallway closet, and I leave the door partially open so that the cats can get in and out as they please. I’ve seen people with litter boxes in their bathrooms, their hallways, behind chairs in their living room, etc. The general rule is to have one more litter box than there is cat. I’m sorry, that’s crazy talk. I have a one bedroom apartment and I’m not having three litter boxes. One has worked fine for my babies, I just have to be vigilant about cleaning it.

As far as choosing a cat litter brand, most cats are not picky. Some, however, are. Tidy Cats is expensive so I use whatever is on sale at CVS. I prefer scented because I have the litter box right by my front door. Find what works for you, but listen to your cat’s needs.

Be wary of any brand of “lightweight” cat litter other than Tidy Cats. One time I bought Stop & Shop’s “Companion” lightweight litter and it hardened and stuck to the bottom of my litter box and I literally had to rehydrate it to remove it. DISGUSTING.

7. Wall furniture. If you don’t have a lot of room on the floor of your apartment, consider putting up wall furniture for your cat. This can be anything from an expensive piece like this, or a simple wooden board for your cats to walk on.

8. The floor is lava. Confident cats like to be up high on tables, window sills, cat furniture, etc. This is because back in their ancestral days, they had to peer down from the treetops to hunt their prey. Allow your cat this luxury, and try not to freak out if they walk on your kitchen counters or sit on your dining room table. Your cat is programmed to do this, the fact that your cat wants to be up high is a sign of confidence, a sign that your cat is comfortable with their surroundings.

[alanaknobel99]

Book Review: “How To Do Nothing: Resisting the Attention Economy” by Jenny Odell

1. What is your favorite quote from the book and why do you find it meaningful?

“It's a bit like falling in love, that terrifying realization that your fate is linked to someone else's, that you are no longer your own. But isn't that closer to the truth anyway? Our Fates are linked, to each other, to the places where we are, and everyone and everything that lives in them how much more real my responsibility feels when I think about it this way! This is more than just an abstract understanding that our survival is threatened by global warming, or even a cerebal appreciation for other living beings and systems. Instead this is an urgent, personal recognition that my emotional and physical survival are bound up with these strangers not just now but for life.” (pg 183) 

I know this is a long quote, but when I first read this passage my eyes filled with tears and I let out the most inspirational “wow.” I was just shocked when I read this, at this point in the book this quote made everything make sense. We are connected to each other and to this earth, and our survival is counting on that connection. However, we are so absorbed in the attention economy we forget what and who are around us. We need to fall in love with each other again rather than the people stuck on our little screens. 

 2. Why do you think this book, released by indie publishing house Melville Press, has become an unexpected bestseller in Corona Times?

What else do we have to do during quarantine than sit our phones? We are quite literally in a cage where the only thing we have is to lose ourselves in the attention economy. People forgot how to take walks outside, rather than go to the gym, or just sit on the porch and watch the kids play. I think why this book was so successful during Corona Times is because people needed a break, and this book was a guide to that break. There was a pause in life, and I don’t think anyone truly knew how to take that pause. 

This past year has been a constant pressure cooker of the attention economy, and people needed to find a way to turn it off. While social media was a great way to connect us when no one could be together, we really had no escape. This book also came out at a time when a lot of people found it necessary to evaluate their life, and really look at themselves including what and who we surround ourselves with. The book, I believe, allowed people to open their eyes to seeing more than what was really there. 

 3. How does the attention economy benefit from our social media activity and media streaming consumption?

Refresh, Refresh, Refresh. That’s how the attention economy benefits from our social media activity. There are certain aesthetic choices that suck us into platforms like Instagram, or Facebook. The endless scrolling is what sucks you in as a consumer, and its main purpose is to keep you scrolling. There is always something new, and it never stops. 

Our attention span as society has continued to dwindle down to the bare minimum. Musicals and plays used to be over 3 hours, and now they are compact into 90 minutes with a 15-minute intermission, to recharge your attention. With the advancement of technology, our attention span continues to decrease. So much that we can’t deal with the feeling of not knowing something. We have to take out our phones and ask Siri. Our phones and other devices have allowed us to develop these emotions that we don’t want to feel anymore, and the only way to avoid that is to continue our use. 

 4. How does this book relate to the topic of celebrity culture?

Celebrity culture is a huge part of the attention economy. A majority of the ‘news’ on my Facebook feed is about celebrities. Social media allows them to develop a brand, and it’s almost as if they are constantly selling to us. Also, social media breaks down this barrier between the celebrity and the audience where it makes us feel as though the celebrity is our friend. The closer that connection becomes the easier it is to get sucked into this cycle of celebrity culture that is produced on social media. 

 5. Do you take digital detox breaks? If yes, describe them. Have they been more challenging during the quarantine era? Why?

I don’t take digital detox breaks. For one, I just don’t think I could remember all of my passwords after. 

All joking aside, for me I don’t know if they would work. I feel like no matter how long the break was, I would just go back, and perhaps it would be worse. What did I miss? Who messaged me? I’m not saying there aren’t benefits, but I try and find other times to avoid social media during the day. Maybe I’ll take one just for an experiment. However, I feel as though I would have to be alone. I don’t know how effective it would be because I have roommates, and watching someone else scroll all day wouldn’t give me the same benefits that I would expect to happen if I were alone. 

 6. Do you sleep with your phone or computer? Are you aware of impacts on your sleep cycles and relaxation caused by overnight proximity?

My phone is on my nightstand, plugged in, and on do not disturb at night and mostly throughout the day. Notification sounds just bother me, especially if I’m trying to concentrate on something else like homework or reading a book. However, I have many habits with my phone. Just like notification sounds, notification numbers bug me so much. If I see one I have to clear it, I like things to be clean on my phone. Usually when I’m stressed about something I will go on my phone to escape or avoid. I follow a lot of “aesthetically pleasing” accounts that I turn to in order to calm myself down when I get anxious. Scrolling through Pinterest always helps because I’ve tailored that to be aesthetically pleasing to my eyes. If I’m surrounded by a calm, good-looking space, it’s less likely I’ll be anxious, and that pertains to my phone as well. 

That being said, I am trying to limit my phone usage. I’ve noticed I can’t watch television without scrolling on my phone. This is just bad for my eyes and everything else cause I’m staring at two screens. My biggest habits with my phone are in the morning and before I go to bed. I’m very into my routines, and this has just become part of it. I also look at my phone when I first wake up, and I scroll for about 30 minutes. Mainly, it’s just to clear all my notifications from overnight. Then at night, which is where I watch tv shows or Youtube, and then scroll on my phone before I go to bed. I’ve been trying to break this habit by reading before bed, which ultimately limits my watch time because if it’s past a certain hour, I just go to sleep. I’m very aware of my habits and am trying to change them, especially because of this book. But I don’t think it has an impact on my sleep cycle, if anything my phone relaxes me because I use it in a relaxing way, but that is also a problem within itself.

 7. What is the role of nature in Odell's book, in particular the role of birds? (P.S. Did you know that birdwatching has become a HUGE pastime in the Covid era with a Snow Owl becoming a celebrity in NYC's Central Park? See NY Times (Links to an external site.)  article on Birdwatching and another on the snowy owl  (Links to an external site.))

The presence and care for nature in Odell’s book is what I mostly took away. We as a society are so absorbed within ourselves and advancement of technology that we have lost a state of consciousness with the very ground we walk upon. I watched a TED talk by Graham Hancock called “The War on Consciousness” (which was originally banned from TED due to it’s radical content) and he echo’s a lot of what Jenny Odell says. Humans have lost this connection to spirit, and if we don’t reconnect we may be holding ourselves back from further evolution. The way that Hancock suggests we grasp this reconnection is through the psychedelic drug of ayahuasca. There are a lot of parallels between these two because Odell suggests a lot that we need to render our attention, in order to open ourselves to more than what is considered surface level. If we allow ourselves to embrace a further, deeper state of consciousness we can reconnect with earth, and the nature that surrounds us in order to become a greater society. 

We need to reintroduce ourselves to nature, rather than take it for granted, which is why I think something like birdwatching became a pastime activity during COVID. I also want to mention the attention that nature has been getting during COVID. I remember a couple weeks after the lockdown there were stories of how animals and wildlife were starting to come back to places they haven’t occupied in a long time because nature was somehow repairing itself. There are also a lot of before and after lockdown pictures of cities where you can see the difference in pollution form the sky color. I think a lot of people took that as a sign that we are the problem, and things need to start changing. 

 Here is the link to the TED Talk, I highly recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0c5nIvJH7w

 8. Experiment: Leave your phone at home for one hour to talk a walk in your neighborhood. Write down your observations when you return and draw a map of your path. What did you observe?  Take a photo of your map to include in your book review. Did the experience provide any revelations? Were you anxious, relieved, inspired? Did you notice anything you'd never seen before?

I love taking walks, it’s been a daily activity for me since Corona Times have begun. I usually just plug my headphones in and listen to music, but I don’t really look at my phone when I’m walking. My phone is also a safety net for me, so walking without it made me a little more anxious than comfortable. 

I live kinda close to a park in New York, but it’s a bit of a trek to get to. Usually I speed through my neighborhood in order to get to the quite area when the park begins, but not this time. I took more of a casual stroll through my neighborhood, still the same route. There was a lot of traffic noise, music from people’s speakers at storefronts, groups of people talking in Spanish. I always walk by a pet store to stare at the puppies in the window. Once I got to the park there is always this sense of relief, and it was still there even without my phone. The wind was brushing through the trees, footsteps of people running, birds chirping. There was a lot that I noticed, I sometimes forgot my phone wasn’t there and I could just be present. 

9. What does Odell mean by 'doing nothing?' Are we capable of doing nothing? 

The very last line of her book when she describes her encounter with the pelicans was, “The answer was nothing. Just watch.” We need to be able to disconnect, and we have lost that ability to disconnect ourselves from the attention economy. We live in a society that tells us we can’t do nothing, because you can’t survive that way. To take time to breathe, relax, connect with nature is looked at as selfish rather than necessary. The question of if we are capable of doing nothing is simple, of course we are capable. However, are we willing? 

[so-caffeinated]

Don’t Panic - (Sometimes Hypocritical) Tips For NaNoWriMo Participants

So, sometime in recent memory, perhaps egged on by friends or in a fit of madness that seemed reasonable at 2 a.m., you signed up to write 50,000 words of fiction in the month of November. Right about now, with the calendar moving way too fast and pumpkins on all your neighbors’ doorsteps, you might be wondering what the hell you were actually thinking. It’s cool, though. You’ve got this. And here’s a few tips to hopefully help get you there.

Prepare:

Plan and freeze meals now - If you’re anything like me, food prep takes up a lot of your otherwise free time so do it before November hits. Make and freeze hamburgers, chili, spaghetti sauce, lasagna and quiches. Have fast things like ravioli, frozen pizza and rotisserie chicken on hand.

Do all your laundry (yes, all of it) - By the end of November you’ll probably be swearing your ex-boyfriend’s oversized sweatpants and a shirt with ancient coffee stains on it while you mumble incoherently at your screen. The bottom of your drawers, that stuff that hasn’t seen the light of day in ages, will all get worn. Just clean everything now. This is doubly true if you have kids.

Prep your space - What kind of environment do you write best in? Is it at home or elsewhere? Do you need more light? Another cushion on that chair? A good set of noise canceling headphones? Do you write on paper and need more pens and notebooks? Do it now.

Daydream - Whether you plot extensively ahead of time or not, keep those characters you plan to use in your head while you do all that cooking and laundry we talked about. Know them inside and out, even the minor details you’ll never wind up writing about. It’ll make your job a hundred times easier once you sit down to write.  

Feed your inspiration - Do you listen to music when you write? Great! Make a playlist that feels like your story. Have graphics skills? Create a bookcover. Use models for character inspiration? Pick them now and make a Pinterest board. Whatever drives your imagination and fuels your passion for your story can only help. 

Take Care Of Yourself:

Don’t forget to eat - Those meals we talked about? Eat them. A hungry writer is a pissy writer and your characters will suffer for it. (And so will you which is more important anyhow)

Hydrate - Hand-in-hand with this, if you’re a caffeine drinker, then also caffeinate. Caffeine headaches can derail anyone from their daily tasks. Also, if you’re a migraine sufferer like me, avoid red wine and other triggers. But really... definitely hydrate.

Take breaks - Take a walk. Take a shower. Go for a drive. Call a friend. Watch a TV show. Sometimes powering through is the right move but other times your brain is gonna need a break. 

Share the burden - Prep all you want, housework still happens. If you have roommates or kids or a spouse, consider talking to them ahead of time about needing to rely on them more for mundane chores during the month.  

Forgive yourself for setbacks - We all have bad days, days where the words just don’t come. One day with nothing written isn’t gonna break you. A week of being beneath your daily goal won’t either. But letting that drag you down? Telling yourself it means you can’t do it? That’s where it gets near impossible to finish. And, hey, if you don’t, that’s okay, too! Attempting this is already more than most people will ever do. And, you’re pretty badass for trying.

Celebrate your wins - Whether you finish or not, just attempting NaNoWriMo deserves a solid pat on the back. Let yourself be proud of what you do, whatever that may be.   

Do not compare yourself to others - Someone will churn out their novel in a week and a half. You don’t have to be them. Be you. That’s better anyhow. 

Focus:

Turn off your notifications - Social media is the best distraction there is. Don’t give in to it. Checking in a few times a day or tweeting about your progress is a far cry from watching every like and retweet you get roll in. 

Delete time-waster games from your phone - Farmville isn’t going to help you finish your novel and it’s (for me) way, way to easy to get sucked into these kinds of things for far longer than you expect.

Schedule - Budget your time and stick to it. Whether your goal is in hours spent or word count, do your best to follow through. 

Power through the hard parts - Sometimes you hate the part you’re writing. Write it anyhow. Get past it so you can move on. Editing will come later and maybe you’ll hate it less as a reader than as the writer. The key is to keep putting one word in front of the other. It’s the only way to finish.

Don’t sweat the small stuff - If a scene is really hard, write *insert fight scene here* or *somehow he gets to the airport here* or *aliens do alien things, IDK, figure this out later.* You can come back to it. If you have momentum, just keep moving forward.  

Ultimately, all of these things are what help me write so much day in and day out. It comes down to consistently choosing to write over other things in my life, even when it’s hard and I’d rather not bother. Everyone has their own methods and tricks, but these things help me (when I’m not being a big old hypocrite) and hopefully they’ll help some of you, too. Remember that you can do this, even if you never have before, even if it seems daunting. Every single person who has ever written a novel had to figure out their own way of navigating that process and I suspect it has never once been easy for any of us. I’m sure someone out there will disagree with some of my advice. That’s cool. Everyone has their own way of doing things. But these things help me and, since I’ve been asked a lot how I manage to write so much, it seemed as good a time as any to share.

Happy writing, all! See you when we all come up for air in December!