#he struggles with eli being a boy - then seems to accept it - and then there's the kiss where Eli shows him another memory

[aidenwaites]

One of the most interesting moments in ltroi (book) in regards to queer themes is the yellow sundress?? Eli reveals that he isn't a girl to Oskar, he essentially shows him a memory of what happened to him so that he fully understands, and then Oskar tells him he can borrow something from a closet. Eli chooses a yellow sundress that belongs to Oskar's mother, says he chose it because it looked like an older piece of clothing/something that wouldn't be missed, and they don't talk about it again. Eli doesn't have a reason to dress feminine at this point, at least not around Oskar, but does.

There's just so many ways you could read it, I think. From that point on, the narrative treats and refers to Eli as a boy, (barring the POV of characters who see him in passing and assume he's a girl). Maybe he feels a disconnect to his own gender because of the trauma and mutilation he suffered. Maybe he doesn't care and feels its easier to be regarded as a girl. Maybe he's still trying to appeal to Oskar's sensibilities / be the thing that Oskar first assumed him to be. Maybe it's some mix of them all

[upsidedownism]

[ david castañeda | non-binary | he/they | thirty-four ] —— it’s just another typical week in hawkins i guess — isn’t that right, elias soto? huh, guess they can’t hear me over hazy shade of winter by the bangles playing on their walkman, but it looks like they’re headed to work as an investigative journalist. did you know elias has been in hawkins for eight years? yeah, they’ve been described as a bit hard-hearted, but i suppose them also being persevering outweighs the negative. i’ve also heard people say they remind them of the smell of ash never leaving your body no matter how hard you scrub, a cork board full of red string of a town that feels so unfamiliar to you, too many stories of people lost that won’t ever leave your dreams, an anger that you don’t know what to do with, and leaving no stone unturned looking for your daughter… however, that could just be this weeks newest rumor.

character inspos: joel (the last of us), hopper/joyce (stranger things), evelyn wang (everything everywhere all at once), shawn hunter (boy meets world), fiona gallagher (shameless), alex karev (greys anatomy), wanda maximoff (wandavision/mcu), buffy summers (buffy the vampire slayer)

full name:  elias soto nickname(s): eli name meaning: the lord is my god age:  thirty-four date of birth:  august 29th place of birth:  cloudcroft, new mexico current location:  hawkins, indiana gender: non-binary pronouns: he/they religion: grew up catholic, agnostic / atheist leaning occupation:  still doing volunteer work, freelance investigative journalism education level: has a degree in journalism financial status: honestly wouldn’t mind a pay raise spoken languages: spanish, english voiceclaim: david castañeda

tws: familial trauma non-descriptive, mentions of grief, missing child (presumed dead)

───  ➤ elias grew up in small town in new mexico with a lot of dreams for a kid who’s population was dismal, they’re one of four boys, the second oldest and probably the biggest disappointment if you were to ask his parents of list of accomplishments. while his older brother was the golden child elias seemed to struggle when it came to school, not one to be afraid to throw a fist or say a few choice words, he was always getting in trouble. 

───  ➤ his parents were strict on their kids and elias was seventeen when he got emancipated, and lived with his best friend at the time. he had contact with his brothers though because of his parents it was a very complicated relationship and the most surprising twist of it all was his older brother being the one to reach out to him when he found out what happened. 

───  ➤ his brother had helped him under the table financially with stuff, especially when it came to going to college elias knowing that he could never prosper here and needed to get out and leave the state and start somewhere new. there was a bond between the two of being the eldest, the pressure their family put on them on top of the generational trauma of their parents before them was too much and their brother knew that all too well and elias still swears that one day they’ll pay their brother back for everything he’s given him. 

───  ➤ he’s currently the only family member that he keeps in contact with though now his brother has created a family of his own and they’re very happy and elias just used to bring a lot of bad shit into everyone’s lives (his mother often telling him that he was cursed, though he would never take this to heart until much later) 

───  ➤ after a lot of poor decisions as a young adult elias reached rock bottom and got his shit together and got accepted to an out of state school and finally started to thrive. they knew that if they ever wanted to see a better ending then they needed to stick with it. 

───  ➤  he met the love of his life and they fell in love and had their daughter natalia and moved to hawkins to be closer to his partners family. 

───  ➤ life was going pretty good for elias , while he and his partner had split up they still co-parented natty, and elias had always been doing some odd job around town while doing his freelancing. though everything changed when the earthquake happened. 

───  ➤ natalia and elias were separated that night, she had been with her mom and elias had been at the trailer parks heading to bed when it hit. natalia was never found again. and he’s been looking for her ever since even though he knows deep down in his heart that she’s probably dead. ever since the earthquake elias has been doing his best to make sure the stories of those forgotten were getting out while trying to understand how a 7.4 magnitude hit hawkins like that and why all the years that he’s been in this town something has always seemed off. he would have never labeled himself as a conspiracist but something isn’t adding up and he wants to know what really happened to his daughter. 

───  ➤ elias pretty much went back in terms of his progress, became someone very unrecognisable and grief stricken and did just about anything that he could to find natty. 

───  ➤ their brother worried about them so much so that he came down to help make sense of it all but eventually elias had thrown him out because that’s what happens when someone tries to help elias he snaps because he’s never really coped well to begin with. he’s still strained with his brother to this day and desperately wants to fix that relationship but doesn’t know how to he’s said things that he regrets out of rage) 

───  ➤ they’re not doing well, but pretty much have an open door rule to any kids that he might have adopted throughout the years as a pseudo-parent. he still volunteers with the rebuild but they don’t recognize themselves anymore.

[apparitionisms]

ELIAS SOTO.

good morning, deadwood, saul coming through your radios. we’ve got bzzz something interesting today! let’s all say hello to ELIAS SOTO, where are you listening today, hm? probably the same place you always do. yeah, i know all about you: 34 years old, a deadwood TRANSPLANT, a PARK RANGER, your favorite song is HAZY SHADE OF WINTER BY THE BANGLES. i’ll play that next, just for you, how’s about that? i’m not meant to show preferential treatment but i feel like i really know you. i know you can be DETERMINED and RESOURCEFUL, although folks say you can also be SKEPTIC and COLD. but who are any of us to judge, ELIAS? we all have our bad days. don’t you worry about a thing, let’s get your song rolling early. here it goes, enjoy! 

full name:  elias soto nickname(s): eli name meaning: the lord is my god age:  thirty-four date of birth:  august 29th place of birth: deadwood, washington current location: deadwood, washington gender: non-binary pronouns: he/they religion: grew up catholic, agnostic / atheist leaning occupation: was a journalist, did freelancing when natalia was born, currently a park ranger  education level: has a degree in journalism financial status: honestly wouldn’t mind a pay raise spoken languages: english, spanish voiceclaim: david castañeda

inspos: joel (the last of us), hopper/joyce (stranger things), evelyn wang (everything everywhere all at once), shawn hunter (boy meets world), fiona gallagher (shameless), alex karev (greys anatomy), wanda maximoff (wandavision/mcu), buffy summers (buffy the vampire slayer)

BIOGRAPHY / HEADCANONS. 

tw: familial trauma non descriptive, mentions of grief, missing child 

───  ➤ elias grew up in small town in new mexico with a lot of dreams for a kid who’s population was dismal, they’re one of four boys, the second oldest and probably the biggest disappointment if you were to ask his parents of list of accomplishments. while his older brother was the golden child elias seemed to struggle when it came to school, not one to be afraid to throw a fist or say a few choice words, he was always getting in trouble. 

───  ➤ his parents were strict on their kids and elias was seventeen when he got emancipated, and lived with his best friend at the time. he had contact with his brothers though because of his parents it was a very complicated relationship and the most surprising twist of it all was his older brother being the one to reach out to him when he found out what happened. 

───  ➤ his brother had helped him under the table financially with stuff, especially when it came to going to college elias knowing that he could never prosper here and needed to get out and leave the state and start somewhere new. there was a bond between the two of being the eldest, the pressure their family put on them on top of the generational trauma of their parents before them was too much and their brother knew that all too well and elias still swears that one day they’ll pay their brother back for everything he’s given him. 

───  ➤ he’s currently the only family member that he keeps in contact with though now his brother has created a family of his own and they’re very happy and elias just used to bring a lot of bad shit into everyone’s lives (his mother often telling him that he was cursed, though he would never take this to heart until much later) 

───  ➤ after a lot of poor decisions as a young adult elias reached rock bottom and got his shit together and got accepted to an out of state school and finally started to thrive. they knew that if they ever wanted to see a better ending then they needed to stick with it. 

───  ➤ keeping this part about their partner brief since i haven’t plotted with them yet but he met the love of his life and they fell in love and had their daughter natalia and moved to deadwood to be closer to his partners family (as stated in the wc) 

───  ➤ when natalia went missing it was probably the worst part of his life considering how he thought natalia was the one to break the curse that he thought he had hanging over his head. she was everything that was good and kind, empathetic and open to anything and everyone, and he doesn’t know if this is what made her a target for her to disappear but elias pretty much went back in terms of his progress, became someone very unrecognisable and grief stricken and did just about anything that he could to find natty. 

───  ➤ their brother worried about them so much so that he came down to help make sense of it all but eventually elias had thrown him out because that’s what happens when someone tries to help elias he snaps because he’s never really coped well to begin with. he’s still strained with his brother to this day and desperately wants to fix that relationship but doesn’t know how to he’s said things that he regrets out of rage) 

───  ➤ when natalia came back, she came back…. different. elias had once written in his journal that it was like his kid was a haunted house. a ghost of who she used to be, even if there are sometimes when she comes back and he doesn’t even get to enjoy it while it’s happening because he’s too busy trying to understand where she went. she sleep walks, he once found her in the forest during one of his shifts which fucking terrified him. she sees things and understands (even if they don’t), a lot of stuff that their daughter says matches a lot of the folklore of the town and he’s been tempted to take her and move them out but he knows that whatever happened to his kid is still happening to people in this town and now he wants to figure out the why. 

───  ➤  he’s a park ranger still even after natalia, strange things have been happening lately and he’s not even close to understanding them but he wants to so no one else has to go through the grief like he did. 

───  ➤ they might have seen something in the forest. but they’ll deny it. 

[aestheticsuwu]

🌁Escape from the city and follow the sun ☀️

( part 2 of Okinawa trip AU)

.......

She knew her Dad planned the vacation to give her a break but she knew deep down he just wanted a new scenery just for a little bit . When he offered she instantly accepted , maybe they would make some good memories for her to look back in the future .

She was excited to tell the rest of her friends about the trip , and she wasn't expecting Robby having an interest of Okinawa . Guessing her father and Robby had that connection of the Myagi Do History . It was cute how he was rambling telling her and Demetri fun facts .

And When Robby had stayed for dinner he wanted tell Sam more of what he had learned . She was more than happy when Dad had asked Robby if he wanted come .

..... .....

" Robby would you like to come with us ? "

He knew his mouth was hanging open , the question surprised him . He wanted to say yes but he also knew that the trip was only for Mr. LaRusso and Sam .

" That would be awesome but I don't want to intrude and Mr. LaRusso you planned it for you and Sam . "

" Well I want you to go with us and I know Sam wouldn't mind . Your part of the family Robby,  you know that . And Don't worry about Johnny,  I will talk to him . So what do you say ? "

His heart always felt warmed when Mr.Larusso would remind him , He was like another Dad . He knew there was times he had to catch himself to not call him Dad . It Didn't help now that Mr . LaRusso and his actual dad were dating . Looking at Sam smiling at him encouraging him to accept , he gives them both a smile .

" I would love to , Thank you . "

And if he hugged Mr.Larusso longer than he intended and thought he could live with two dads for all his life nobody needed to know .

...... ..... ...... ...... ..

They were all at the dojo taking a break from class . He was in the middle of Sam and Miguel while Demetri was sitting in front of him . All were talking about the lesson but they noticed Demetri wasn't talking . And they all knew he constantly talked . Robby noticed that hawk was with the other students , usually he was with Demetri .

Turning to look if Sam and Miguel noticed but guessing by looks that Sam was glaring at hawk and Miguel concerned look . He guessed he wasn't the only one .

" Demetri did you and Hawk fight ? "

He asked him , Sam and Miguel begin to questioned also .

" Did he hurt you !? "

" I don't think Hawk  would hurt Demetri , Sam."

" Wouldn't be the first time , Miguel ! "

" But Hawk changed and I know he wouldn't do it again . "

He interrupts them before anyone would notice their little argument .

" Guys , let Demetri tell us . Let's not jump into conclusions , I'm not big fan of Hawk but let's give him the benefit of the doubt . "

All three watched their friend to answer patiently . They sometimes forget that Demetri didn't react well to being rushed. They had to be patient with him .

" He didn't do anything , I just i-i-i.  I'm having problems at home but it's fine .

The three watch him stand up as his Dad calls them to fall in and break was over . And he knew he wasn't the only one of the three worried and by the looks of Hawk he was also worried.

...... ...... ..

Running up to catch Demetri she ask him if he can come over to her house to help her pack . Smiling as he agrees she discreetly turns around to give Miguel and Robby a thumbs up. Giggling went Demetri waves a goodbye , and Miguel and Robby try to act discreetly as if they unaware of Sam's idea 

.It was cute , she was glad that both Robby and Miguel got along now . Realising they have stuff in common decideding to have a truce , Now they were friends . Both were big softies , funny and loyal the plus side they were Hot .

The three agreed Sam would be the one to talk to Demetri . Knowing her and Demetri was more closer , He was the one who helped her deal with her panic attacks . She helped him with his feelings for a certain Mohawk boy , although she didn't understand why him . But she guessed know one would be good enough for her Demetri . She loved him like a brother.

Don't get her wrong she loved her little brother but her and  Demetri understood each other.  Thats why she had to get the bottom of the problem .

" Is it cold in Okinawa ? ,  just in case take a couple sweaters and coats . Better safe than sorry right . "

As Demetri pulled out her clothes , she decided  it was the right time to ask .

" Dem , you know you can tell me anything right , even if it's bad . Im ... We are worried about you and its not just today that we noticed . I just want you to know that i got your back "

" I know , I just ... I been having problems with my mother . She doesn't understand why I forgived Hawk , so I tried to not bring up anything around her . She's usually not around , so I invited Hawk over , we were playing video games and catching up . Guess who decided to show up at the moment Eli tries to kiss me "

Her heart broke watching her friend struggle , he paces around the room and she knows Demetri is trying not to break down . She goes up to him and hold his hand .

" It was so embarrising , she threw a fit saying I was ruining my life . kicked out Eli , wouldn't be surprised he didn't want talk to me again . Said pretty much I'm a disgrace to keep it short . I'm sorry  "

 

She hugs him as tight as she could , she got teary eyed hearing Demetri cry . She was so thankful for having her parents , it wasn't fair people had to go through .

" You don't have to be sorry ok , She's wrong she doesn't know you the way we do . You can stay with us today , and if hawk doesn't speak to you I know Robby and Miguel will knock some sense into him . "

Later that night her Dad tells her about including Demetri to the vacation . She tells him he's the best dad ever . She goes to bed listening to Demetri talk about Hawk message and the plans to the trip .

..... ...... ....

At first it was confusing and hard to adjust to her parents being divorce but once realise she realised they  were both  happier with other people . She came to terms with it , she got to talk to Miguel and Robby about their parent dating each other .

Miguel was glad her mom was happy with someone that knew how to cherish her the way she deserved . Robby wasn't mad or bothered that his dad and her dad were now dated . He just didn't like how he would constantly see his dad flirt with her dad .

When Johnny had accidently called his father Bambi in front of the class , he saw the way the blonde tried to get her father to forgive him all day  . She thought Mr . Lawrence wasn't bad after all.

Carmen and Johnny was a nice addition to the family , she gets to spend time more with Robby and Miguel .

...... .......

 

Miguel was excited to wake up as 4 : 00 in the morning and wait for sensei to pick him up . He never thought he would ever go to the trip with Mr. LaRusso . His mom was also going with them , the best part he was going with his friends too .

Saying Goodbye one last time to YaYa , he climbs inside the car saying hi to everyone . Falling asleep while sensei drives hoping they wouldn't crash .

" Were here , Everybody out ! Let's go ! . "

Walking up to the airport , as everyone follows their Sensei guiding them and telling them to keep an eye out for Mr LaRusso  . Turning to Hawk , he was surprised that his friend had managed to have energy to do his hair .

" This is going be fucking awesome dude , only sucks that we have to wake this early . "

" Yeah , we should thank Mr.LaRusso for inviting us and try not to start any fights with anyone meaning Sam or Robby . I know you dude . "

" Right , and I'm not the only that starts them , Who you crushing on now , pretty boy or the princess , or both "

Pushing hawk , as he says his comment with a smirk , He can't remember why he was friends with him now .

" Shut up , I don't know what your talking about . "

" Yeah and that why your blushing "

It only seemed right to flip him off and maybe push him to the floor if he didn't had found Mr. LaRusso and him mom .

" Sensei their over there , Oh My mom arrived to "  He told Sensei ,  pointing at the opposite direction , they all decided to  run towards them .

....... ....... .......

He think no one would ever get used to seeing both Senseis making out . They all showed their disagreement of the PDA even Amanda and Carmen were laughing for their childish behavior . Seeing as his dad signaling to the store the class showed their excitement as they cheered remembering Mr. LaRusso promise .

Robby didn't know what to decide on , the rest of the class had money their parents had given them . And he didn't want to ask Mr . LaRusso for money he had already bought him the ticket and clothes and not to include his suitcase .

" we can share something if you want , my Yaya gave  me extra money .  "

Turning to look at Miguel and Sam , He wanted to reject the idea but he guessed it wouldn't hurt .

" Hey pup get anything  LaRusso is paying , goes for you to Miguel . Keep an eye out on them little LaRusso . "

 

God his dad always had to embarrass him , he didn't mind him calling him that but in public was big No . And by the giggling of both Miguel and Sam they could tell he was blushing . He totally deserved some Oreos for this .

...... ..... ...

Everyone was vibrating with excitement as they got off the plane . Phone filled with selfies on the plane , Laughing along the random ideas to do in Okinawa . They couldn't wait for their adventure to start .

But then they lost Mr . LaRusso who was the only one that knew the place after they all got distracted because it seemed Hawks stupid products weren't here .

" Dude calm down , I think you could get some gel or whatever you use here too . "

" Miguel , I love you bro but right now I'm trying to find my shit . Hey ! What are you all laughing about  ! "

Once sensei had enough of the bickering , he told them to fall in line to find their missing Sensei  that was once spotted outside with two other people .

Waiting for a big cab for everyone to fit wasn't the best but as they were driven to their location . They were all memorized by the beauty , it seem like no picture can capture the beauty of it . Well not to Sensei apparently he rather look at the beauty of Mr . LaRusso.

He had to admit that was the best line he had heard from his Sensei .  He liked how everyone was smiling and Laughing . He also totally noticed the blush on Hawk and Demetri as they both were sitting to close . He was totally going to tease hawk as payback .

 

Sidenote : Part 2 of the Okinawa trip AU. Sam , Robby , and Miguel Pov . Sam and Demetri sibling dynamic . Next is binary boyfriends moodboard . Excuse for my shitty writhing

[stellarcat52]

Timeless blue chapter 11

Archie flew ahead as Douxie and Krel hurried behind him. The shattering of glass quickly notified them of where Arthur and Morgana had just jumped out of the window, and where Nari had been frozen solid in a block of ice.

With a quick spell Douxie frees their friend. “Oh, thank you. The order shall surely rip your soul to pieces for this.”

“We’ll work on your pep talks later. I don’t think my little trap was going to last-“ Archie flies in as Douxie speaks.

“The arcane order is back, we’re out of time Douxie.”

“Alright, let’s get Nari back to the others. She’s safer with all of us.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll make sure the order doesn’t”

as if summoned by their name Bellroc and Skrael make their presence known, “Nari!”

“Find you. Go!” Douxie casts his arms back, pushing his friends away from him and their enemies. “Keep running, don’t look back!”

Without the head start the others had, Douxie fell behind the order. His infinite corridor suddenly replaces him as the only thing between them and Nari.

“An infinite corridor eh? Beginners magic. This cannot hold us!”

Douxie let’s a sphere of fire fly past him and into the door that would transport it to behind Skrael. “Buttsnacks!”

“You will die for this!”

Douxie summons his staff, “That was kinda the plan. But it’s worth it, because it means my friends, Krel,” his voice softens as he realizes this is what Krel had feared. Their separation, someone getting hurt, “and Nari can get away!” He finds his courage, saving the world or saving his friends wasn’t a choice he could make. He could make the choice between saving the world and saving himself, although he forced the pain of leaving Krel behind into his stomach.

———

Krel looks behind him immediately after he hears Douxie being pushed down, seeing the infinite corridor go up, even without knowledge of what it is. That barrier would trap Douxie in with two beings more powerful than Krel knew.

“Krel! Douxie will be fine!” Archie had seen more of Douxie’s battles than Krel had, and yet he had to force himself to trust the small dragon.

Even as spells sound from behind them, Nari, Archie, and Krel only spare a few glances back, none of them pausing for more than a moment to try and listen for Douxie’s voice. When they finally got to a place where Archie could safely fly Nari down, Douxie and the Order’s battle is naught but echoes.

Archie glides down and Krel takes inspiration from Morgana in the past to try and levitate himself down. He still falls a great distance, but the Akiridion body is not as fragile as a human one.

Jim and Claire were having a face off, Toby and Steve were off to the side. Krel had never seen such bright human eyes before now, Claire had unnaturally purple eyes that flowed with her own magic.

Krel glances down to where his arms have these magical traces inside, each one glowing and fading as they’re needed or dormant.

As Claire unleashes a great beam of dark magic, Jim falters and gives the whole team hope. This side of him was a result of the order’s magic, if Claire could overpower it and save Jim, surely Douxie, and Morgana, could do the same.

Behind them, Krel saw the gold of Morgana’s magic against Arthur.

“The world isn’t ours anymore, you have failed to destroy it, and I have failed to save it.” The fight between Claire and Jim seemed to fade to background noise, Krel could almost entirely forget about it. “Perhaps they can fare better!” She unleashes another attack. “You are no longer worthy of wielding Excalibur! Magda mani achtenebris kraga doom!” The explosion caused by her spell inturrupted Claire’s concentration and cast Excalibur aside. Just as all seemed to be doing better it was made clear that Excalibur is not what kept Jim tied to the green knight.

“Please Jim, I love you!” Claire’s choking cry almost made Krel jump in to help. “We all do.”

Jim drops Claire after what seemed to be a moment of thought.

———

Douxie was struggling against the order, but he was holding his ground better than he ever thought he could against such powerful legendary creatures. The Order were gloating of his defeat even though the wizard still stood, out of breath albeit. As the order finishes, speaking of a summoning that will happen once they are through with him, Douxie mustered up a final spell.

“Tenebrius...” he started, a blue magic circle being danced to life in each hand and then on the surface on which he stood, “exellium!”

His and the order’s unspoken magic meets, both sides struggling against each other.

Between the magic circle holding his spell together and the mystic glow in his eyes Douxie struggled to see clearly.

“Goodbye, my friends, goodbye Krel.”

He lost the magic keeping him alive and safe from the Order’s attacks. He only hoped what last burst of strength he had given would keep the order away from the other’s far below.

———

Krel watched as Camelot fell, how Claire and Jim got their happy ending. He finally thought things were going up, but as soon as the Order’s lair explodes, and he sees Douxie’s limp body falling through the air, he thinks it foolish for those thoughts to exist.

He was the first to start running. He didn’t bother risking using a portal, Douxie was right about him being untrained.

He still was out of sight of Douxie’s body when he hears that sickening thud.

Claire and Archie had made it there faster. Arch had an ear to Douxie’s chest and with every breath that Douxie must not be breathing his feline features only seem to grow more grim. Krel takes a few moments to get the guts to join the others around him.

He looked down and wished that somehow he could give his core to the human he loved.

Douxie’s body seemed too cold for someone who had only been dead for a few minutes at most. Krel sat down on his knees and pulled Douxie’s head onto his lap. He just stared at him for a minute, tears blurring his vision and too scared to blink them away in case Douxie vanished. He hung his head down, only taking a moment to wipe each of his eyes individually.

“Krel?” Archie caused him to look up, just for a second.

“Why did he have to face them alone?” Krel choked. “I was right there, I could have gone back.”

“That’s just the way Douxie is.” Claire answered, Krel only now noticed she was holding onto one of Douxie’s hands.

Zoe spoke up as she came over to kneel beside them. “Hisirdoux never really learned how to accept help. Not from anyone beside Archie. He always had to them himself, stupid apprentice.”

“Wait!” Archie shouted, pressing an ear to Douxie’s chest again. “His heart!”

Krel could feel the tensing of Douxie’s back muscles as he loses the stiff relaxation of death. His skin grew to a temperature that wasn’t as frightening, but still cold.

It was if Douxie had a second chance, like what a core would have given an Akiridion. Maybe this is something magic could do to humans.

The moment Douxie opened his eyes, Krel stopped caring how. He couldn’t even find the words to say.

“Douxie.” Archie purring into Douxie’s chest. “You brave, foolish boy.”

“Ow!” He yelped as Douxie helped him sit up, shifting to be besides him. “Ow! Everything hurts!”

“Sorry.” Krel mumbled as Douxie looks over at him and grins.

Claire took his attention back for a second. “I can’t believe you’re okay!”

“Barely, seems you’re the one with mine lives!” Douxie let’s Archie rub his head against his cheek. “Don’t you ever do something like that’s again.”

Krel pulls Douxie to his feet, holding him up with his arms. “You scared me you idiot.”

Douxie nearly falls and clutches his chest. “Hey! I just came back from beyond the grave! Be careful.”

“Sorry.” Krel turns his head and kisses Douxie’s cheek. “I’ll protect you next time.”

“I feel like I missed a lot.” Jim spoke up, eyes widening as Claire ran up to hug him, still very happy to just see Jim as a human again.

“Same, but I think we can catch up over brunch.” He looked around again, Krel could see the worry in his eyes. “What about Arthur and Morgana?”

“Squished.” AAARRRGGGHHH looked towards where Excalibur lay imbedded in the stone.”

Of course Toby immediately tried pulling the legendary sword out of the rock it had cut into. To no avail, but he tried nonetheless. Blinky, Douxie, and Claire all urged Jim to try, but his efforts were fruitless as well. Excalibur stayed rooted, and as the group leaves it behind, Jim leaves behind his hope that he may still be a trollhunter, though that might not be the worst thing right now.

———

Zoe and Nari got ready to leave, New York would be gaining two magical beings within a few weeks, and Akiridion 5 would be gaining at least one new human citizen. Claire and Jim were still on the fence of whether or not they wanted to stay or just visit Eli and Aja. Either way after this they knew they wanted to stay together.

Krel and Douxie had told the group they were dating, and Krel got a surprising amount of threats from the almost everyone. AAARRRGGGHHH being an exception but also Jim, Nari, and Toby.

Krel knew that Douxie would get some as soon as Aja and Varvatos were told the news, and Eli would be ready to ask Douxie so many questions about magic that he’d go crazy. Still, nothing could make these two want to risk staying on earth with the Genesis seals one more day, so alongside with Toby, Jim, and Claire, they step into the portal to Akiridion 5 and are whisked across the universe, traveling past planets and stars in mere seconds.

The earth would be safe unless something changed, and although they knew something would, Krel and Douxie were willing to put that to the back of their minds for as long as they can. They are happy, safe, and together.

And as long as Nari is out of the order’s hands, that’s all they care about.

[in-this-body-of-mine]

To The Bone (2017) - Analysis and Charting

Let’s go! I’m NOT excited because life is hard but what better way to distract myself than to do this kind of shit. No one cares, anyways.

Since this is the first one, let me tell you what we’re gonna do here. I’ll include the IMDB summary, a summary with spoilers, the placements in the chart, we’ll go over each item (also, spoilers abound) and finally my review and final thoughts. Yes, it’s gonna be long. Read at your own risk.

IMDB summary:  A young woman, dealing with anorexia, meets an unconventional doctor who challenges her to face her condition and embrace life.

Summary with spoilers: Lily Collins plays Ellen/Eli and from the start of the movie she is on the brink of her disease. She was just kicked out of a recovery center and she gets an appointment with a ~cool unconventional doctor~ played by Keanu Reeves. She goes into ANOTHER inpatient treatment home to be treated by him. Shit happens, she seems to be getting better somehow, but then she spirals down, runs away, and after a... near death experience (I wish this was an euphemism) she decides to try recovery again and goes back to the treatment home. That’s where the movie ends.

Chart placements!

Now for each item:

White: Ellen or Eli is played by Lily Collins, who once played Sandra Bullock’s daughter in that movie were she was a Karen. It doesn’t get whiter than that.

Female: She changes her name to Eli mid film (which is how I’ll be calling her here bc we respect chosen names in this household) but she still seems to identify as female and be referred to as such, so here we have it. We do have a guy in the treatment home, but we’ll come back to him later.

Teenager/Young adult: I’m pretty sure she is 19 but every review I see says she’s 20. Either way, she dropped out of college even though she just started it. The actress, however, was 28 at the time the movie was released.

Wealthy/seemingly well-off: Her family has the money to send her to inpatient a bunch of times, and they make a point to mention how they have connections so she didn’t have to wait in line to see this new doctor. Case closed.

Skinny actress from the start: As we know, Lily Collins is already thin and she did struggle with anorexia in the past. Why, however, did she lose weight for this movie? They said it was her decision “to make the character more authentic”. As if not being skin and bones wouldn’t be enough. As if eating disorders don’t come in every size. They shouldn’t let her. The need to shock people is a very dangerous sign to me.

No distinctive personality or hobbies/interests: I’m glad Eli has a thing she loves. It’s not super present, but it’s there, and it’s plot relevant. She loves art and in the story, she had a tumblr (look, it’s us!) where she shared drawings related to her ED and a girl liked her drawings so much that, when she killed herself, she mentioned Eli by name in a note. But that isn’t really explored too much and I kind of got disappointed by that.

Good student: We don’t really know about that... and I don’t think it matter, it’s ok.

Seemingly irrelevant love interest: Why? Just why do we need Luke? Luke is the only guy in the home, and we can SEE that he’s only there to be Eli’s love interest. He wasn’t needed. None of the important plot points have anything to do with him. Make her date a girl. Make her date NO ONE. This is about eating disorders. She could have closer friends in the house. Why was this necessary. Her whole speech about how love is a lie could come from a friendship but no. They had to shove pretty white boy there.

Daddy issues (sometimes coupled with mommy issues): I find this extremely funny but her dad isn’t in the movie. At all. He’s alive and well, but he makes a point to never come home when Eli is even awake. I don’t think they cast an actor for that. As for mothers, she has three, and it’s a trip. Her stepmom on her dad’s side is very out of touch but she wants what’s best for Eli, but she really hates Eli’s biological mom. Bio mom, in turn, is described as a “bipolar lesbian” and the stereotypes are just... ugh. Bio mom has a wife and she is a bit weird too. They sent Eli to live with her absent dad bc “they couldn’t deal with it anymore”. This brings us to a great scene where we can see Eli shrinking in her seat and when the psychiatrist asks her what she is feeling she says “I’m sorry I’m not a person anymore. I’m a problem.” And that’s great to see. But at the same time, I hate that her whole issue in this movie seems to come from her family and anorexia is just a thing that happened, with some vague references to control. 

*Triggering event*: We never see it and it’s okay - but I kind of wanted some more explorations of motives because we have ZERO.

Anorexia as diagnosis: As I always say, what is even the point of making a cool looking movie about EDs if your protagonist is not only anorexic, but also terminally anorexic? Ugh. That’s the only portrayal of anorexia that happens in media and I’m fucking tired.

Checklist of habits (manual for those looking for one): I mean, I mark this down but as I always say: everything is a manual if you’re looking for one. But if you’re doing more than not eating or purging or exercising I’ll judge it as a new tip. A lot of us already thought of/did most of them probably. But the marking remains.

Inpatient treatment (or extended hospital stay): As I said, she is kicked out of one treatment center and goes straight into another. What fucks me up is that the movie HAS other characters with other diagnosis, but we never see anything about them. We don’t see their journey. We only know Luke is a dancer bc he is the love interest. We only know Megan is pregnant and then she’s not bc this sends Eli in a spiral. We only know Kendra is not straight bc she makes a joke about it (and Doctor Beckham follows with a horrible joke about conversion therapy). Did you notice Ciara Bravo was in this movie? I didn’t on first viewing. She has like two lines. The whole movie is centered around Eli and every scene in the house feels like all the other patients only care about her too.

Emotional tipping point: Megan loses her baby and for some reason this affects Eli. Luke kisses Eli and for some reason she’s pissed. At that point, I was annoyed. She has a bad session with Doctor Beckham who basically tells her to grow a pair and stop complaining (which is insensitive as a doctor, but as a person I wanted to do the same) and she decides to quit and leave. She has to go to her mother’s home and I’m supposed to care. Stepmom is mad but doctor says she needs to hit rock bottom. She weights like 70 pounds dude. Rock bottom was about ten pounds ago, next stop is a coffin, mate.

Mom hugs: And here we have the emotional turn around of the movie and it’s just... make it make sense. She goes to her bio mom’s ranch. Her stepmom # 2 tells they’ll have therapy with horses (?). Eli goes sleep in a tent and bio mom cries and says she accepts if Eli wants to die. Very supportive I guess. They have this weird bonding moment where the mom feeds her a bottle like a baby and look, if you liked that, good for you, but I don’t get what I was supposed to feel about it (but that’s mom hug #1). She goes on a hike next morning and... dies? Either way she has an out of body experience where she talks to Luke and sees how she looks - which is weird to me. Didn’t we go over this in the beggining of the movie? Didn’t we establish that she does know what she looks like and doesn’t care? But still she seems shocked and they have a cryptical conversation and she wakes up. And just like that, she’s ok now. She meets up with the other stepmom (mom hug # 2) and goes back to the home.

Happy ending: In the last scene Eli is back to the home and we understand she’s going to try to recover for real this time. I’m okay with that specifically, I think it would be bad if they pretended she just got better with no relapses and everything is fine, but it’s a hopeful ending. Despite the fact that we have no idea if she won’t have a fit and leave in two days and that we never know anything about anyone else and Megan, who lost the baby, never comes back. It’s fine. At that point, I didn’t expect much.

Analysis: I was hesitant to be critical bc this movie was based on the real life experiences of the director and Lily Collins. But fuck it, this is my circus and I’ll clown as much as I want. While I do understand that, I have a lot of thoughts.

Mainly, I need to say that while I understand this is her story, this is a story that was told so many times. I’m tired.

The general public that wants to defend the movie says “well you can’t tell ALL stories”, and while I agree, these people probably only saw this movie about the subject. If you HAVE (or had) and eating disorder, you probably saw tons. And they ALL tell the same story. Which is why I started that chart in the first place.

This movie does have good moments. I do like the acting, I saw people complaining about Keanu Reeves performance - but I do know these were people who disliked the movie entirely. I think his performance was great, Lily Collins performance was great, and their chemistry was great. The best scenes in the movie happened between the two of them. The one thing that I LOVED was their first interaction when he calls her on her bullshit. “You’re not thin, you scare people, and I think you like that.” YES. I never heard anyone talk about that. And I guess I’ll never will, bc the movie itself never talk about this again either. Also when she justifies the tumblr where her art triggered a girl so much, she says that she was just drawing what she knows, he calmly tells her that she can draw, but she doesn’t have to share it online tho. I liked their interactions because often ED patients are treated with silk gloves (is that the expression?) and sometimes there is a need for some though love. I also love Liana Liberato who plays her sister and that’s about it.

The problem with the doctor ends up being: what’s his method? How are you going to cure her? The method makes no sense. I don’t see the reasoning. I don’t think anyone does. And somehow it works and she goes back there. 

I think my major problem with the movie is that it has the same issues every ED portrayal before it. It’s the same story again. I think it shines the most in the whole “it’s not about food, it’s about control!”. It IS about food though. For a lot of people, it is. Maybe not for this director or for Lily Collins, but for so many people it is about food. It’s about control as well, and it is possible that there is other factors related to it, but you can’t chalk it all up to a control issue and pretend it’s just whatever. If the food didn’t matter, it wouldn’t be an eating disorder.

Because of that, we have this heavy focus on her family issues and nothing to do with food. We have people trying to rationalize - maybe it’s bc your mom is a lesbian, maybe it’s bc i didn’t bond with you as a baby - and all that does is to make her lesbian bipolar mother seem like a crazy asshole and her dad seem like an absent asshole as if this is the only factor here. Give me SOMETHING. Any connection to food. Any sense. Nope. She just won’t eat bc her family is fucked up. Hoe, that’s all of us.

And I think the movie unintentionally DOES glamourize anorexia. Subtly, yes, but it does. Eli has SUCH an easy time refusing food. She doesn’t seem to think about food as much as she thinks about herself and her family and Luke and being annoying. She knows a bunch of calories and she overexercises. Idk.  Not to mention that moment when Kendra asks her about purging and she says “it’s not her thing”. I mean. It is no one’s thing. No one likes it. It’s a compulsion. And if you have anorexia that severe and you are not with a feeding tube, you do eat every now and then, and you do have purging mechanisms. If she had said she prefers overexercising as a purging mechanism than to throw up, I would believe her. But the movie acts as if she just never eats ever and somehow she’s still standing. Give her a feeding tube then. It would be more believable.

I know it sounds kind of ranty, but my point here is: this extremely anorexic girl, that looks like a sack of bones, and gets that by never eating and doing crunches all the time, it is the wet dream of a fatphobic society with a 71 billion weight loss industry. This is the dreamy and frugal idea of anorexia that people have when they are deep into the illness - not when they recovered as the people involved say they did. I get that this is a very personal project. But it’s flawed. It doesn’t do anyone any favors. It just tells the same story, for the millionth time, but since this time it was in a big platform, more people saw it, and it was better done, with a better budget and with a good enough resolution so I can see every bone in Lily Collins body.

Anyway, that’s it for today. If you read all of that, thanks. Since this is Netflix, I’m assuming everyone saw, but the other movies are out there and if you need liks, hit me up. Be back soon.

[ikenbar]

Mr. Love: Ike’s Choice CH4 Prologue

Warnings: Talk of explosions, fire, blood, burns, the boys in pure shock and worry, anger, frustration, denial, fear, deep depression in fact! (20 Ike points to anyone who can tell me what that reference is from in my asks :P) unanswered questions that make you furious that I’m leaving you on yet ANOTHER cliffhanger :D

Please read the author’s note (and the beginning of the story) on chapter one part one if you’re new here :D

Chapter four:

Prologue:

>

Kiro stayed on the line after he had heard the explosion. He could barely process, let alone believe what had just happened. He had just heard his hero explode over the phone. Kiro grabbed the remote to the tv in his dressing room and shakily turned it on. He flipped through the channels, convincing himself that if there was nothing there, it was just a prank. The explosion over the phone was a prank. The ground shaking was just a prank. The line going dead was just a prank. This was all just one big prank. Finally, he landed on a breaking news headline. 

Ike ‘n Bar Production Company Explodes. 

A horrifying picture of a burning, broken building lit up the screen. The remote from Kiro’s hand fell. Savin walked into the room, snapping Kiro out of his head. When he asked what was wrong, Kiro couldn’t respond. Savin got his answer by following Kiro’s eyes to the screen. Savin froze, unable to say anything. It was then that Kiro found feeling in his legs again. He grabbed his coat and ran to the door. He had to make sure she was ok. She had to be. Kiro watched as the ambulances drove past his car and was quick to tell the driver to follow them, praying the hero wasn’t in any of them. Once he made it to the hospital, Kiro ran to the reception desk and told them he was looking for someone. When they asked for a name, he choked. He only knew her by the alias he gave her. She could be gone and he never got her name. Kiro’s stomach plummeted as he struggled to speak, once again, frozen and helpless to help her. Unable to find anything to say, Kiro apologized to the receptionist and left the hospital. All he could do was pray she really was a superhero and she somehow survived the attack.

>>

Lucien was casually watching tv as he was unpacking for his trip when suddenly the program was interrupted by a breaking news report. A television company had fallen victim to a terrorist attack. 

It wasn’t just any company though.

Lucien quickly grabbed his phone and dialed her number. 

“I’m sorry, the number you have dialed is currently unavailable.”

After plenty of time spent waiting for an answer and only receiving the same monotone voice, he hung up the phone. Lucien sat on his hotel’s couch, lost in thought. Of course that girl had been caught in trouble the moment he left Loveland. If she had gotten hurt… Lucien’s phone buzzed. He picked it up almost immediately. It was a call to work. He accepted and hung up the phone. Lucien sighed as the story continued to play on the screen. The video showed a wave of people coming out of the building… and, at the very back of the group 

was Her. 

Lucien stood from the couch and walked closer to the screen, trying hard to read her face and study her body for any injuries. The screen seemed to have glitched and a man appeared in front of her, blocking Lucien’s view of the girl. The man took her in his arms and he started running to the ambulances right as the screen cut back to the reporter. Lucien cursed and leaned his forehead on the screen. He had fallen too deeply into this girl’s life. But there was no backing out now. Lucien sent the girl a quick text, telling her to text him as soon as she could. Lucien then texted the girl’s foster father, asking about what had happened. After a few minutes of waiting, Lucien had concluded that neither of them would be responding any time soon. Lucien leaned his head back on the screen and closed his eyes, making a silent promise to her that he would make sure the person behind the attack would be dealt with. 

And Lucien himself would personally see to it.

>>>

Victor had been in a meeting when the building exploded. The impact of the blast shook LFG and the glass just behind him. Victor quickly got out of his chair as worried murmurs swept the conference room. Victor tried to calm everyone down but it wasn’t long until an intern quickly rushed into the room with the news that a building a couple blocks away had exploded. Victor froze in place. The face of a poker faced girl came to mind. The girl who he had just began to bond with, whom he had bickered with, whom he had shared a profound conversation with,... the girl who had stopped his heart with one smile. Victor stood up from his seat and evacuated everyone from the building. He pushed his way through the crowd and out the front doors of LFG, telling himself that she was fine. She was safe. That explosion had nothing to do with her. She had to be fine. She had to be. But he was proven wrong after one last turn of a street corner. Ashe fell like snow from the air, landing delicately in Victor’s raven hair as he stood, dumbstruck at the scene that played in front of him. Debris coated the streets as bright flames rose from the familiar building. They had completely engulfed the building, but the fire had pushed most prominently through the large hole that sat on the side of the building, on the tenth story. One that the girl had complained about working in before to him. Victor hurried to the hoards of ambulances and police cars in front of the building, hoping to be of some help, but hoping even more to find the girl safe and unharmed. People came out of the building one by one. Victor came to each of their aid, helping whoever he could, asking them all the same question. 

Where was their boss? 

None of them gave him a straight answer, only further watering the ever growing plant of fear in his chest. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the doors opened one last time and Ike appeared from them. She was unsteady and coughing intensely as she leaned on the door for support. She was covered in soot and blood splashed various places on her clothes, mostly centered around her left shoulder where a large portion had been burned dangerously. Victor made sure that he was the first one to her side, and was surprised when she fell to the floor before he got to her. He helped her up and asked if she was ok, trying his best to keep his eyes on her face and not her bloodied shirt. She ignored his questions and replaced them with her own, asking if everyone made it out ok and if there was anyone she missed. Victor grew impatient of her selflessness and picked her up from the ground and held her in his arms. He reassured her that he would get her to safety as he ran to his car. The girl sunk into his arms as the shock of the situation finally sunk in, knocking her unconscious.

>>>>

Gavin was being released from the hospital when the man had arrived with his partner in his arms. Gavin didn’t recognize her at first, as she was covered in soot and wearing a large suit jacket around her. The man rushed to the reception’s desk and begged for assistance. The receptionist spoke in a calm voice as she asked for the man’s name and the patient’s. When Gavin heard her name come from the man’s mouth, he felt his blood drain from his body. He listened intently as the man hurriedly told the receptionist what happened and how important it was for her to get a room. Gavin watched wordlessly as a stretcher was pulled out and to the man with the girl in his arms. The man placed the girl delicately onto the stretcher and the doctors immediately started pulling her away and behind the doors, away from them and into the emergency room. Gavin watched the man who had brought the girl. He shakily walked to the waiting area and sat down in one of the waiting room chairs. He immediately sank his face into his hands. Ones of which was covered in soot and blood. Blood that Gavin could only hope was the man’s. Eli, an old comrade of Gavin’s  who had been signing Gavin out, patted his shoulder reassuringly, wordlessly telling him to go to her. Gavin didn’t hesitate in accepting his request. Gavin had to do a bit of waiting, but when he finally got the all clear, he was the first person in her room. The image of the girl’s body being connected to loads of blinking machines burned a spot in Gavin’s mind. Her body was cleaned from the soot from before, only to be replaced by red splotches from burns that had covered most of her body. Her arm had been wrapped in gauze all the way up to the shoulder, steadily soaking up the blood from the injury she had underneath. Gavin sat by her side and took her hand in his. After a moment of staring at her face, hoping for her to wake up, he realized something. This was the second time in weeks she had been in an explosion. That couldn’t be a coincidence. That masked man couldn’t have been targeting Evolvers. 

He had been targeting her. 

Gavin kissed the back of Ike’s hand and whispered a promise to her. One he had no intention of breaking.

>>>

(Next)

[jane2bunton]

One true thing

Chapter 1. Struggles

1.1. My first bad day

Anne has been nervous all day about starting classes at her new school. To calm herself down and learn a little more about the town, she decided to look for information about the LGTBI+ community in the area, but she didn't like everything she found because it seems to be a traditional area with these issues...

The next day, Anne decided not to enter the school to give an impromptu demonstration on LGTBI+ rights, which quickly attracted the attention of other students who came to hear what she was saying. Anne was apprehensive at first, but seeing so many people, she gained strength and was reassured when she saw other teens join her. What she didn't know was that at that moment she had met those who would become her best friends.

The good moment lasted only lasted a few minutes, for without warning the headmaster called at her house, and her father appeared... Then the situation became very tense.

She felt it was a good day, full of vindication, but seeing her father show up was killing her, because once again she was doing the only thing she seemed capable of: yelling at him in front of everyone! Anne could feel the anger growing inside her until she couldn't hold back anymore...

*shouting* I'm tired of the way you treat me, you won't let me be happy with what I like! What's your problem with me?!

Her father made her go home with him, and when she got home he made her go to his office to talk. There he continued to berate her for what had happened.

The quarrel went on, but led to nothing, only to a cloud of hurtful words on both sides. Anne left without giving his the pleasure of seeing her cry, remained in her bed the rest of the afternoon and would not even eat dinner. 

She felt very sad that her mother never wanted to talk about it or even try to reassure her father.

Dawn was breaking and she was still crying, the way she always felt, tired of not being accepted by her own family, but she was trying hard to hold on to good memories and moments, like her little brother Ronald, who she loves very much and who helps her keep going.

She also recalled his brief encounter with the teenage gang and that cheered her up a bit.

Meet this group of teens currently living in a House created by Andrea Morrison to LGTBI+ people in a situation of abandonment and rejection by family.

[TW: Abuse, LGTBIphobia ] the following descriptions contain explanations that may affect personal sensitivities.

Conrad Woolley [He/Him - They/Them pronouns]

Trans boy NB and bisexual. His parents abuse him mentally and physically. His family lives in Oasis Springs, an area with deeply rooted traditions and customs.

He ran away from home because he was constantly psychologically abused by his mother for being overweight (body shaming) and because his father constantly beat him as "punishment" for his gender identity.

He has two older brothers who help him sporadically by giving him something to eat, since they cannot take him in.

He lived in a foster home where he does not feel comfortable because he was constantly being misgendered.

Cleveland Frame [He/Him pronouns]

Gay cis boy. Afro-american from Brindleton Bay.

His parents have forced him to undergo conversion therapy because they are convinced they can "cure" their son's homosexuality.

He runs away from home with the help of one of his aunts, for a while he lives under the guardianship of the social services in a centre for minors.

He lived with his aunt for a few months, as she was given temporary guardianship of him, but had to leave because she is very old and could no longer care for him.

Eli Knight [She/Her pronouns]

Trans bisexual girl. Gypsy ethnic who lived in Glimmerbrook.

She confessed her gender identity to her older sister, who betrayed her by telling her parents (who have strong sexist and LGTBIphobic traditions), so she had to flee in the middle of the night, fearing the worst...

No one in her nuclear/extended family wants to know about her. 

Until recently, she lived on the streets, where she made some money to eat by handicrafting with scrap metal.

Kazuko Kobayashi [She/Her pronouns]

Cis lesbian girl from very traditional Asian parents.

His parents constantly tried to make him hide his sexual orientation from society (Sunset Valley Asian neighbourhood). 

She was kicked out of the house because of her sexual orientation, because she didn't hide, and most importantly, because she didn't follow the stereotypes associated with femininity. 

She lived in a sort of ghetto under the bridges of her town with other young people.

They all came to Brindleton Bay, because Andrea is a well-known LGTBI+ person and she was fortunately able to greet them.

Poses by: @katverse​ & @starrysimsie​

[Beggining] - [Previous] - [Next]

[endeavorsonlyfans]

Posting because who's going to stop me! Myself- Anyway

Just an old fic of Post baby's first time not matching with his normal circle of peeps. Kinda his first round of matches

-------------------------------------------------

"Oh, dear..."

The soft echoing voice of the Postman rang in his head as he heard Mrs.Nightingale announced that he would be team up with some 'old friends' of hers. 

She smiled at the survivors, watching as they gathered around to hear what teams they were placed on. 

"Team five.."

"1.The Postman 

2. The Prophet 

3. The Mercenary 

4. The Perfumer"

"You will be on your way to your match in two minutes. I will now go check up on your Hunter. Please note that time is precious and don't waste it.." 

Her voice lowers in the last part. She looks at her Scroll and shakes her head, leaving the survivors' wing

With her gone, the survivors finally breathe again and discuss their team formation and plan. 

"So I have to play with them..." 

Victor's voice is quieter than he thought in his head. Did Mrs.Nightingale scare him too? 

He hadn't known those names on the list for long. His golden eyes search the room for the needed teammates. Did he have to find them? 

The postman bites his lip, looking at how the other survivors got along very well. Could he really fit in this way?

"No" 

The postman peeked down at blank papers in his mailbag and slowly reached inside of it, retrieving three sheets of clean copy paper. He wasn't very good with line paper because he wrote tiny so he needed better sheets..but it made his handwriting a bit not neat? Untidy? 

He shrugs in response to his own thoughts and writes the first Survivor name down. 

The Prophet...

Who's that? 

The postman taps on the nearest person's shoulder, hoping for some help. Instantly he regrets it when sharp green eyes fall on him, looking him up and down. 

"Yeah?"

That voice was definitely not a friendly one. The postman tears his dry lips open to speak just for no words to come out. Oh great. He struggles for a bit and feels warmth fill his eyes as he tries again to clear his throat. 

"Did you... change your mind?" The male was growing more impatient. His clean steel toe boots tapping the expensive tiles of the Manor floor. 

The postman is quick to nod. Just to shake his head seconds after. He was already making a bad impression on his teammates.....

He quickly wipes his tears away, hearing a kinder voice fill his ears. 

"Naib." 

He looks up from the one called Naib to a much taller male. He's a bit familiar to the postman seeing his Owl and soft brown hair was a clear sign of that.

"I think you are scaring our teammate." 

Naib lowers his eyes from the cloaked man and faces him. The poor postman couldn't tell if he was sorry or upset that he was stopped.

"I apologize for my behavior, You didn't say anything, so I assumed it was a childish trick being held. I'm not a fan of fooling around... Anyway, I'm Naib. The mercenary." 

He said his title as if he weren't proud of it. Sure it was filled with pride and experience, but something bothered the postman about his words. Maybe he would have to get to know this Naib some other time.  

Viktor smiled a bit at Naib's apology and waves his hand as if brushing it off as nothing, which was exactly what it was. Nothing Still, he accepts the apology.

Naib nods at this and glances upward at the grandfather clock. "What's your name?" 

The small postman bent down to pet his dog, seeing Wik noticed his change in behavior. The dog was brushing against his leg, whining. He smiles at his companion and reaches into his pocket, bringing out Wik's toy. "You want to play?" 

Naib raises a brow at the sound of Viktor's voice and somewhat smiles. "So you're more of an animal person, huh? My friend here also has a connection to them."

The postman nodded, peeking at the cloaked man. He opened his mouth and spoke clearly for once "My name is Viktor...Viktor Grantz." He offered a hand out to him before thinking about what he'd think of it. "..Does he even want to get to know you?" He questioned inner Viktor's voice with a small Hum. 

The postman moved to bring his hand back when he noticed a gloved hand sneak from the dark abyss of the cloaks. It was much smaller than The Postman had thought. Delicate too..the fingers were slimmed perfectly and long. 

Once the hand was closer to the light, he saw something else he didn't think of. A purple gem rested on a gold ring hugging his finger. Could he be married?

His thin lips tugged into a smile. It seemed Naib didn't like that. He had turned away as if he didn't want his friend to meet the postman. That explains why he hadn't given him a name...

 "Eli Clark." 

He took the postman's hands in his own, intertwining them with a pleasant hum. "

It's nice to meet you Viktor and Wik." 

The postman swallowed his voice and Eli's lips sealed. This caught the attention of Naib. He grabbed the taller man by the waist, looking up at him. 

"Eli...Eli.."

The taller male was silent for some now, probably seeing right through the postman. With the way his chin pointed, he could be looked beyond him.

"I'm sorry."

The postman shook his head, receiving warm laughter from the taller male.

 "I'll see you in today's match, yes?" 

The postman wasn't sure how to respond to the question, so he just nodded. That's when they heard the grandfather clock at its loudest. Was it time already?

The room only contained those needed for the match. Everyone was gone except Eli, Vera, Naib, and the postman. He took a deep breath before he was consumed by darkness. 

At the sound of shattering glass, he wakes up on the floor of the White insane asylum. Boy, did he hate it here. He always got lost in the hallways and forgot where the exit gate would be.

He stands to his feet and searches for a cipher to decode. He takes a while to find an empty room to decode in. His teammates would sometimes run the hunter past him, sending him to a flying panic. 

"This would never happen if I were with Lucca." He lay his head against the Cipher machine in sadness.

"Viktor!" 

The Postman jerked up a bit too late. A Slave had brought her club down on the postman. 

"Oh no."

He pulls away from the cipher and runs with the girl trailing after him. "Um.." He fumbles through a stack of letters he wrote for this match and sent it out to the nearest teammate. Hopefully, Wik would return soon. 

The postman struggled through the darkness of the Insane asylum with the slave as he tossed down pallets and made loops. He was burning out, Vaulting over a pallet. Just as Wik came running back. A hissing sound caught his ears. 

"Flying feathers!" 

A sharp hoot following by the gong of the bell filled his ears. He was positive he should have been incapacitated by now. 

"Viktor, are you alright?!" 

The Postman jumps at the sight of the seer peeking around the corner. He was really good at sneaking about. Eli looks at his injuries and fishes out a medical kit.

 "This shouldn't take too long." 

The Postman struggles to speak, so he just nods and sits still as he is taken care of. From the outside of the Electric therapy, room was a Mercenary dragging a poor slave around the walls. 

"How did you guys know I was here?" 

He mumbled softly to the seer 

Eli didn't respond

He just smiled and chased after the shouting Naib

"..If those two have the hunter, then where's the fourth player?!" 

Viktor looked around the place for someone else

Instead, he got something much worse 

Vera was dancing on the dungeon and screaming thank you

The postman was this close to smacking her with a letter-- 

"Focus on decoding!" 

Viktor tiptoed away and prayed a cipher was far away from her. 

His prayer was answered, and he quickly ran over to the cipher typing in the code

The last cipher had busted and Viktor stared at it with wide eyes 

"Thank you!" Vera screamed for the hundredth time, running past a waving Eli being dragged by Naib

"Get out of here!" Naib fumed, dragging the taller male after him as he collected rage

"Hue Hue nice try" Eli smiled sending his Phoenix forward to protect the postman who just barely made it out in time

[imfallingdown-icantwakeup]

Fishmonger’s Daughter

Jaskier had a life that he walked away from to become a Bard. He has travelled across the Continent both by himself and with his Companion, Geralt of Rivia. What happens when they happen upon a familiar town and find a familiar face? Slow burn Jaskier/OC

Chapter Two: Devil Like You

Word Count: 3733

The sun streamed in steadily through the bare window, the warm afternoon sun warming my pale skin as I dressed in my finest clothes. I wanted to look good today for myself, for him, to show him that maybe there may be another side to me. A more feminine, womanly side.

Could Jaskier ever look at me the way I did him? I pull the sleeves of my white dress off one of my shoulders, leaving it bare before turning back and forth, seeing if I liked how it looked. The stark whiteness of the dress nicely contrasted the worn brown of the leather corset, making me look thinner and my bust larger than it truly was.

Still not enough.

I pulled the other down halfway and stood staring at my reflection carefully, my somewhat-tamed locks tied at the nape of my neck behind my shoulders while my mother’s silver ring gleamed back at me from around my neck from its perch right above my cleavage and decide that if this didn’t gather his attention, he was blinder than a bat and I have no chance. I was forever stuck to settle into being his friend. A title I had come to detest

“Ely! Elowyn, darling! Hurry along, Jaskier is already on his way!” Mom hollers from below as I struggle to tighten my corset from behind. I suck in a breath of frustration as I hear a small scuffle of feet hit the front door and run to my side of the house. Closing my eyes, I pray that my fingers pull the right ties to tighten from the top not the bottom before this intolerable bard-in-training enters my-

               “If you needed help, you could ‘a just asked, love.” His voice is so smug in that moment, so confident. I scoff as my hands and heart come to a standstill, his fingers softly flicking mine loose from the leather binds as he stands close behind me. Too close. The smell of dandelions, pears and lavender envelop me as I take a deep breath before I reply, not bothering to protest his closeness.

               “Didn’t your mo- “I pull a hand to my chest, eyes opening abruptly as he tugs the laces a bit too tight, the air vanishing from my lungs with my words, “-ther teach you not to walk in on a lady?” When he is done I turn and glare at him, trying desperately not to return the shit-eating grin he has on his face. The way that the light beams in through the window catches his hair in just the right way, making it look three shades lighter than it should. Large blue eyes look lighter as a ray of sun catches the orbs as theu crash with my simple brown ones. He angles his head towards mine, so our foreheads were almost touching as if to tell a secret.

               “It would work if you were a lady, you little devil.” He teases quietly before he turns and bolts away from me. I gasp at him for a moment in shock before I grab my boots and run after him.

               “Jaskier!” I yell at his retreating back as he runs to the tavern. I slip on the boots at the front door, eyes not leaving the path that he had taken. That little shit. I follow him in haste, arms down to try to stop my dress from whipping around me although the corset prevented me from running after him properly, a small giggle emitting its way from me uncontrollably as I race after him.

I could do this forever.

               I crash into the tavern, breathing sporadically from the damn corset being too tight as I collide with my mother. She giggles at my rough entrance, eyes dancing over to the boy leaning against the opposite post, his vibrant blue and purple back purposely to the entrance. I could tell from the rise and fall of his shoulders that he was out of breath as well. Damn him.

               “Sorry, Ma.” I apologize, half panting as I kiss her cheek, accepting the tankard from her aging hand. She waves me off with a small smile before her mossy green eyes narrow slightly at me. She pulls my hair from its spot tied at the nape of my neck, a small ‘tsk’ sent my way in judgement.

               “A woman lets her hair down every once and a while, Elowyn.” She chastises lightly, hand weaving its way through my hair, making my waves bounce back in their natural place. I roll my eyes as I take a drink of the bitter beer, wincing slightly at the taste.

               “Sorry, Ma.” I apologize once again, walking along side her to the table holding the rest of my family.

               “Lookie here, Orson!” Ma calls out to my father as we round the table, arm around my bare shoulders. I smile at him, excited that he finally got a decent few days off to spend with us to celebrate. “Isn’t this dress lovely?” She asks rhetorically, hand skimming down my sleeve, fingering the expensive lace. The corset I’ve had since I turned 16, the dress a gift Father got as a gift for my birthday from a passing traveler, or so he told me.

               “My little girl.” He coos, dark eyes meeting mine. Most say that I looked like my mother, dark red hair and high cheekbones. Smaller eyes than many of the other girls. I, on the other hand, always thought that I looked like the man before me, the man who spent everyday he had selling fish. Stinky, slimy, rancid fish that was barely worth the dirt on the bottom of his shoe by the time it got to our neck-of-the-woods.

               That never stopped him, not ever. Everyday that there was air inside of his lungs, Orson was out there, talking anybody and everybody into buying something from him so he could feed his wife and my brother and me. When Maddox was old enough, he had left. Gone off to be an adventurer, to get a taste of the salty air and the green grass. Mother had done nothing but supported his dreams, feeding that wandering spirit inside of him. Urging him to just go. He seemed to find his way back every now and then, a warm breeze passing through whenever he was able. This was one of those times, the day of celebrating not only my entrance into this world, but my best friend’s.

               “Daddy, please.” I protest, going to drink my beer once more. Not this early tonight, no please.

               “Just-Just let me say one thing? Just one, I promise.” He assures, tears gathering in our eyes. I blink as I chug the rest of my beer, shaking my head at the light-headed feeling it leaves me. He grabs one of my soft hands into both of his rough calloused ones, eyes not leaving mine as he speaks from his heart. “I hope you find someone who is brave enough to enter your storm and respects you enough to love the size of your waves. I hope that you fine someone who will relish the calm you can have, and who is eager to set sail on the expanse of your mind. I hope you find someone that cannot ever escape the love they have for you, because now they have you in their very blood, coursing through their veins always reminding them that you are the only sea worth exploring.” By the time he finishes, he has a stray tear or two running down not only his face, but my own. I hastily wipe them all away, his and mine, wracking my head, trying to find something acceptable to say. What can you say after your father lays his intentions bare to you like that? The man who has always sacrificed everything for you, not laying everything in front of you to see.

               “You said one. That was, at the least, three.” I tease, leaning on my toes to kiss his rough cheek. I turn to go grab some more beer, passing Jaskier on my way. Jas smiles at me in passing, raising his lute in my direction.

               “If I may have your attention, please!” Jaskier speaks loudly, gaining what he wishes. I, however, ignore him as I get some more beverages. I know that I will not survive this night sober. “Lovely ladies and proud gentlemen. If I may.” He stalls, bowing slightly as he catches me eye while I turn. There is a mischievous smile on his face, and I don’t trust it for a moment.

               “Oh fishmonger, oh fishmonger; Come quell your daughter’s hunger,” He sings, rather beautifully may I add. I smile at him, but his smirk only widens. Why does that worry me? “To pull… On my horn… As it rises in the morn’!” He sings gleefully, smile ever broadening on his beautiful face. He did not! “For tis not, but bad luck to FUCK with a puck!” By this time others are clapping in time with him, and I cannot do more than stand there and place a hand over my mouth. What in the name of everything holy… “Lest your grandkid be born a hairy young FAUN! Bleating and baying, all day, hey! Ho!” I drink another tankard of beer before heading over to my parents, face red from embarrassment. “The fishmonger’s daughter, ba! Ba!” His voice trails behind me as I plop beside my father, face red from his incessant singing. He starts over from the beginning, other drunkards joining in this time with a laugh. My father elbows me with a smile of his own nodding towards Jaskier dancing and singing in front of his beloveds. He could keep them then and write embarrassing songs of them too, if he so wished.

               “If he’s going to make a profit from us, you may as well stake your claim, eh?” He teases as I take another greedy drink from my cup. I sputter as I slam the cup down, earning a laugh from the table and catching the eye of a very annoying bard.

               “You’re not making any of this better.” I mutter, ignoring the lot of them. A warm feeling flows through me, and I no longer know if it’s from Jaskier’s song or the alcohol swirling its way through my body. At this point, it may be a mixture of both. And that didn’t bother me in the slightest.

                  “Elowyn, wake up.” Jaskier speaks into my ear, shaking my shoulder softly. “Elowyn, we don’t have time for this. Wake up, Geralt’s going to leave us and it’s going to be your fault.” He whines from above me, shaking me harder. The sun had yet to rise, the small room still dark. The only light that illuminated the room was one that Jaskier had brought with him, a lone candle that was lit and sitting on the dresser by my lonely mirror.

               “You sound like a child.” I groan, pushing him away from me as I stand beside my bed, not bothering to be modest. I was wearing a nightgown. I trudge over to the clothes laid out on the chair, turning my back to the man as I lift my dress over my head. I hear him clear his throat from behind me and I look over my shoulder to see him turned around, hands on his hips. He was pointedly staring at the closed door; his shoulders tense and I could feel the hardened stare he was giving the wall. Maybe Jaskier had turned into a man since his departure.

               “You’re acting like a child, you devil.” He quips, running a hand through his hair, giving a slight tug at the chocolate locks. I laugh as I turn and finish getting dressed, pulling a blouse on before stepping into a corset before my trousers. I hold the offending leather up under my arm as I tie my pants, sighing as I reach behind me to lace the damn thing up. Before I get a chance to fail at fastening myself up, I feel a familiar flicking at my fingers and I drop my hands with a small giggle, shaking my head as a sense of de ja vu floods me. “I guess some things never change.” Jaskier teases as he laces it up rather tight.

               “Have I ever complained about your lacing techniques?” I ask mindlessly, mind still hazy from sleep. He chortles lightly behind me before he loosens the cords slightly, leisurely sliding a finger between my back and the material. I can feel the heat trail from his finger on my spine through the thin material of my shirt pump through my sleepy body making everything feel so damn good.

               “Does the demon feel better now?” Jaskier asks mockingly in my ear as he attentively removes his finger, hot air fanning the outer shell of my ear. I breathe in the scent of dandelions and lavender and close my eyes to relish this moment. To ingrain that smell into my being, to remember how the heat feels as it pumps through his finger to my limbs, if only for a transient moment.

               “Yes, very much so.” I respond, walking away from him and his sinful touch, to grab my boots. I throw some socks and boots over my feet and nod to my small bag sitting by my door. “If you could be so kind and take that down to my gelding. He is tied at the inn, the spotted blue roan. His name is Hamish.” I order, standing as I start opening a side pack, counting coins mindlessly. Space. I needed space to wake up.

               “Am I selling thee my soul as well?” He complains, grabbing the pack on his way out of the door, sending a vaguely shocked look my way at the seemingly weightlessness of the bag. It would almost be believable if I didn’t hear the smile in his voice as he spoke the words.

               “Whose acting like the child now, Jaskier?” I call after him lazily, grabbing only the essentials off the top of my dresser. With my mother’s wedding ring finding its way around my neck, my father’s dagger slipped inside my side pack for protection while carrying Maddox’s gloves I stand and take a last look around the small crowded room I’ve come to call home. I’ve spent five years of my life here, surviving while trying to live. I grab my long cloak from beside my dresser, tying it around my throat as I think of all that I truly am leaving behind, and realize it’s not much. If anything at all.

               I take a deep breath before I place the gloves inside my pack as well, tying my hair at the nape of my neck. Hopefully Jaskier won’t tire of me easily, not even after I become a nuisance. The air doesn’t feel as light without the bard around.

               The steps feel as if they are made of ice as I stumble down them as I step outside, the rain the night before slickening the path to the inn. Now the trick is to get the least amount of mud possible on myself while getting across town. Great. I take a step into the dark sludge and wince internally while sighing, hating the feel of the wet ground beneath my feet. Felt too much like the past.

               “I hear li’le ol’ Ely’s lea’ing us.” I hear Theodora say from behind, a harshness to her shrill voice. I turn on my heel and look her way, a small smile finding its way to my face as I stare at the white blonde woman for a moment. I didn’t know what to say, I hadn’t planned that far ahead.

               “I’m either little or old, I can’t be both.” I retort, trying to avoid the inevitable for as long as I could. Maybe if I didn’t say out loud that I was leaving, she wouldn’t be mad. She rolled her eyes at me as she walked towards yours truly, linking arms as she drags me towards the inn, sighing in defeat.

               “Ya could’ a jus’ tol’ me. Would’ a loved to hear it from ya instea ‘a him.” She exacerbates, giggling softly into my ear.

               “Him?” I question, pulling on her arm, slowing our pace as we come around the corner towards the inn. Too soon, I couldn’t part with her yet. How could I ever part from the kind soul that tried to help me?

               “Your bard.” She enunciates with a smile, her green eyes sparkling in amusement.

               “My-my bard? No, no I do not own him. H-he is his own.” I deny, head high as I continue forward, cheeks reddening as we continue towards our goal. Theo laughs at my expense, getting her fill if you ask me. We come closer with each step, and soon her laughter fades. We both stop and watch as Jaskier ties my bag and his own onto Hamish, sending a small smile our way when he spies us standing there. We smile and wave back, still not moving or making a noise until we both see Geralt exit, causing us to sigh. The silence is comforting, lets me know that she isn’t too mad at me. At least she didn’t think this far ahead either, thinking of a lecture to give me on our way over.

Geralt sees us and starts walking after throwing something to Jaskier, causing Theo to wrap her arms around me, pulling me tightly against her small, frail body. She pushed her face as far as it could into my hair as she stifled a cry, one wrapping itself around even tighter around my middle while the other holds the back of my head steady.

               “Promise me tha you’ll protect yerself. Even from tha Doxie, if ya ‘ave ta.” Theo mutters into my hair softly. I grab her and hold just as tight as I take a sharp breath, feeling as if she just punched me in the gut, a cold feeling seeping from my chest and over my being. “Promise.”

               “I promise.” I whisper, closing my eyes as Geralt gets close. He stands a respectable distance away while we finish our goodbyes and wipe each other’s tears from our faces. When did I start to cry? She turns to him abruptly, head high as she fishes a coin pouch from her bust. I have never seen such a look of feral maternity on anyone and it sent a fresh wave of tears to my eyes when I realize that she feels that way about me.

               “To assure her safety.” She addresses the Witcher, gaze never wavering as she hands him the hefty leather pouch. He regards it carefully while opening the gift, fingering through to count before he glances at Theo, then myself.

               “Let’s get a move on.” Geralt’s voice rumbles, nodding towards Theodora as we pass. I smile a watery smile as I walk by her, not daring to look back as the wet earth squelches beneath my feet. I almost slip as I get to Jas and Hamish, Jaskier’s arm reaching out to help steady me. He smiles warmly at me in comfort and I feel the cold slowly dissipate from my body. If only he knew his effect on me. He mounts Hamish before me, an arm extended to help me up. I roll my eyes before I accept his offer, hoisting myself up before I slip my thighs against his, arms around his middle with my front pressed against his back.

His body is warm and firm against mine, a stark contrast to the cold permeating all around us. I shiver slightly at just how warm he is, arms tightening slightly as I press the side of my face into his shoulder, lungs once again filling with the distinct scent that never leaves him. Dandelions and lavender. The fabric of Jaskier’s outer coat isn’t the softest in the world although the amount of heat that pours from him is well worth the slight itchy feeling it leaves behind. I sigh in comfort, relaxing wholly against him as we follow Geralt on his next venture, and all I can do is smile into Jaskier’s back.

               I could get used to travelling like this.

               “Are you comfortable back there?” Jaskier taunts softly and I could feel his chest rumble through my front. I’m thankful that he can’t see the flush rising to my cheeks as I press my face harder into his shoulder, embarrassed at getting caught.

               “Getting there, thank you for asking.” I retort, squirming to prove my point. I was already comfortable, although he didn’t need to know that little tidbit of information. I can feel the soft rumble of his chuckle through our bodies and it fills me with a new warmth, spreading through my veins like wildfire. “Where are we headed?” I ask him, turning my head towards his neck. Jaskier shrugs slightly as we follow Geralt, nodding up at him.

               “Wherever he is. He wreaks of adventure; can’t you smell it?” Jaskier asks as he turns towards me, eyes bright with a large smile on his face. The joy it brings him, the smile he wears. I can’t help the smile my face mirrors and hope my eyes shine half as bright as his does in that moment as a reply passes my lips before I can even think.

               “No, but I trust you.” I confess honestly, voice almost breathless. Jaskier simply smiles brightly for a moment before he nods at me, turning his attention to the Witcher in front of us, continuing to nod his head.

               “Good, that’s-that’s good.” Jaskier clears his throat as he tightens his grip on the reins and I laugh at his reaction causing Geralt to turn and look back at us.

               “Everything okay back there?” He calls back, giving Jaskier a knowing look. We both nod at him and I place my head back at its comfortable spot on his shoulder, reveling in his warmth once more. We ride for a while more, I’m not sure how much longer, before I close my eyes. It isn’t long before I fall asleep, the warmth and smell emanating from him being to familiar and comforting to resist.

[samclownchester]

Supernatural Rewatch 02x03

Bloodlust

(Next Episode | Masterlist | Previous Episode)

Hooray more vampires

FRICK IS THAT BENNY

OH MY GOSH

*quick google later*

So, it is the same actor but this character is named Eli. I think it would’ve actually been cooler if they just kept it the same character, but this works too.

Alright, lets talk about what we learn about the boys in this episode. Firstly, it’s really weird to me that Sam and Dean are so ignorant to the Hunter community

DEAN You seem to know a lot about our family.

GORDON Word travels fast. You know how hunters talk.

DEAN No, we don't, actually.

GORDON I guess there's a lot your dad never told you, huh?

Why did John keep Sam and Dean so removed from other hunters? We know that they knew Bobby, and we also hear about other people like Pastor Jim and Deacon (although Deacon’s not a hunter) so we know that Sam and Dean grew up knowing their dad’s friends, but they never really interacted with the larger world of hunters. Maybe it’s because this wasn’t the life John wanted for his sons, maybe he felt that he should keep them away from the influence of people like Gordon, that maybe they would have a better shot at a normal life if they didn’t get too connected to the world of Hunters. Either way, it makes me feel like they must have felt very isolated growing up. We learn in season 15 that Dean did have a hunting buddy while Sam was in college (Lee) but I guess they still didn’t know much about the hunting community.

Whatever John’s reasons, during the conversation it’s clear that Dean is struggling with the memory of his father. He is aware that there is a lot their dad never told them, not only about the hunting community, but also about Sam, and Azazel’s plans for him. Dean tells this little anecdote from his teenage years to Gordon:

DEAN ... So. I pick up this crossbow. And I hit that ugly sucker with a silver-tipped arrow right in his heart. Sammy's waiting in the car, and uh, me and my dad take the thing into the woods, burn it to a crisp. I'm sitting there and looking into the fire, and I'm thinking to myself, I'm sixteen years old. Most kids my age are worried about pimples, prom dates. I'm seeing things that they'll never even know. Never even dream of. So right then, I just sort of -

GORDON Embraced the life?

When Sam was 12 he was still being told to wait in the car instead of participating in hunts. How old was Dean when he was expected to hunt? Dean was 6 or 7 when his dad took him shooting for the first time (we find out in a later episode). Just another example of how Dean was expected to grow up much faster than his brother.

When Dean tells this story, it’s evident in his face and tone that it’s not a happy memory. It seems like “embraced the life” is not the phrase Dean would have used, but something more like “accepted my fate.” This isn’t the story of 16 year old realizing he’s special, it’s one of a kid realizing he will never be normal.

This episode is another that really highlights the difference between the brothers and their approach to hunting:

DEAN What part of 'vampires' don't you understand, Sam? If it's supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our job.

SAM No, Dean, that is not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil!

In fact, Sam’s differences are highlighted often throughout this episode; he says that “decapitations aren’t exactly [his] idea of a good time,” Gordon says it “doesn’t seem like you’re brothers much like us.” We are repeatedly being told that Sam is not what a hunter is supposed to be. Gordon comments on how Sam is different, implying that he and Dean are the same, and with this interaction there’s this idea that Gordon understands Dean, possibly more than Sam does.

DEAN …I can't talk about this to Sammy. You know, I gotta keep my game face on. But, uh, the truth is I'm not handling it very well. Feel like I have this -

GORDON Hole inside you? And it just gets bigger and bigger and darker and darker? Good. You can use it. Keeps you hungry. Trust me. There's plenty out there needs killing, and this'll help you do it. Dean, it's not a crime to need your job.

He knows what it’s like to have that hole inside you. But later, when Sam and Dean are arguing, Sam says

SAM You know, you slap on this big fake smile but I can see right through it. Because I know how you feel, Dean. Dad's dead. And he left a hole, and it hurts so bad you can't take it, but you can't just fill up that hole with whoever you want to. It's an insult to his memory.

As much as Dean tries to hide it from Sam, Sam understands him. He sees the hole. It also shows that Gordon fundamentally misunderstands Dean. He advises that he use that grief to fuel his hunting, but we know that Dean has never really cared for revenge. Revenge is John and Sam’s game, but Dean is only in this for family. So where Gordon thinks the hole in Dean’s life could be filled with killing monsters, Sam knows that Dean is looking to fill that hole with family. (He says earlier that he knows Dean is trying to make Gordon a replacement for their dad). Dean wants someone older and more experienced to tell him what to do, to tell him what’s right and wrong, because that’s what he’s always had, and Sam knows that’s the hole that needs filling, not some drive for vengeance or violence or whatever Gordon thinks.

 But, there are ways that Dean sees himself in Gordon, and it scares him. We had a quote from him in Season 1 about how he scares himself sometimes, with the things he’s wiling to do, and we return to that idea in this episode; except this time he’s starting to question the whole world view he grew up with

DEAN I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up.

SAM What do you mean?

DEAN Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives.

SAM Okay.

DEAN What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us...

SAM Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.

DEAN I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.

SAM You didn't kill Lenore.

DEAN No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.

SAM Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters.

This little interaction gives us a few interesting insights; first of all, we see Sam defending their dad, saying he “did the best he could” (just like one of the last things John said to Sam before he died, as I mentioned in a previous episode). We know that Sam is struggling with guilt over not having been a good enough son while his dad was alive.

Dean, on the other hand, is finally breaking out of the box John built for him. It’s interesting to me because the two brothers are in very different places. Sam has known for a long time that he disagrees with John, so it doesn’t bother him too much to realize that John could have been wrong, and that he could have had them kill things that didn’t deserve it. Dean, on the other hand, has always taken his dad’s word as gospel. He always trusted that John knew best, come whatever. So, realizing, and having proof in this episode, that not every supernatural being is inherently evil, is really throwing him. It’s a hard thing, to realize that something you have believed and acted on your whole life might not be true.

The other important thing we learn from this interaction is that Sam’s opinion matters to Dean. He trusts him. Dean admits here that he wanted to kill the vampires, but he didn’t. He set aside what he felt was right for what his brother asked him to do, placing Sam’s opinion over his own. Now we all know this isn’t always going to be the case, but in this episode at least, Dean trusted Sam’s judgement.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that Gordon killing his sister when she turned into a vampire is foreshadowing for the idea of needing to kill a loved one when they become a monster which is a very relevant theme throughout all 15 seasons of the show. 

[thereislifeafterhq]

Maya Winters is 26 years young with a birthday on March 30th. She hails from Houston, Texas but now lives in New York, New York. She is a Personal Trainer and looks a bit like Shay Mitchell.

Full Name: 

Maya Alexandra Winters

Pronouns: 

She/Her

Gender: 

Female

Sexuality: 

Lesbian 

3 Positive Traits: 

+ Determined + independent + caring

3 Negative Traits: 

- Competitive - independent - stubborn

Biography:

triggers: spousal abuse, spousal rape, manipulation, homophobia

Maya was like a lot of the girls that grew up in her town. Sugar and spice and everything nice, just the way a girl should be, until she was allowed to tap into her more athletic side and then her competitive nature rose to the surface. It was something her parents despaired, a thing her younger brother loved, but for Maya it was her escape. As long as she partaking in a sport of some kind, whether it be track, swimming or basketball, she could focus on one thing - winning. If she was winning it meant that she wasn’t focused on the more sinful thoughts that occupied her mind as she grew into a young woman. She could be the good little baptist with a sinful mind so long as she focused on winning to keep her sinful mind otherwise occupied.

Being the good little baptist was easier said than done though and despite her best efforts she found her first love, even if it were forbidden. Maya could never imagine her best friend Dani sharing such devious emotions but she was wrong, something she was joyous about for a very short time. When Dani’s mother found them together in the basement in a position obviously intentioned for lovers, her joy was brought to an abrupt end and she was sent straight home. Maya had no idea what would happen next, would her and Dani be sent away to one of those awful conversion camps? Would someone have to transfer for what was left of the school year? None of it mattered. The next morning, Dani’s parents were on her doorstep demanding to know where their daughter was and outing her to her own family. Maya was crushed, Dani had ran away, not that she blamed her, but she had left her behind in doing so. Maya’s parents gave the young woman a choice, go to a camp and “get straightened out” or date a young man from their church and proceed with life as normal (after many confessions), neither were ideal but with no idea where Dani had gone, her family were all she had left and so she stayed.

When high school was done and over with, her and her now boyfriend, David, both went off to TCU to continue their education and with much arguing done on her part, Maya was able to continue with her dedication to sports with the addition of focusing on the healing practices involved with physiotherapy. It was a compromise, she would much rather have entered at a more competitive level, after all, she had been offered a spot on the girls basketball team almost immediately after receiving her college acceptance letter but her parents feared it would encourage her “inner demons and unnatural perversions to resurrect themselves”. It was something that Maya continued to struggle with, no matter how much time she spent with David, so when he proposed on her twentieth birthday she felt that God would forgive her premarital sex if it was with the man she intended to marry and if she was doing it with the hopes that it would fix her, even if deep down she knew she wasn’t broken. In their final year of their studies, Maya and David’s relationship started to deteriorate, neither of them particularly wanting to be with the other but it seemed God had other plans and Maya graduated college an expectant mother, cementing in her mind that now she must stay with David in order to provide a family for her child. A son, Elijah, born January 13th.

Despite their unhappy co-existence, Maya was relatively happy, she was a part-time physiotherapist at the college sports centre, a full-time mom to Eli (thanks to on-site daycare) and was slowly fulfilling her families wishes as she walked the walk and talked the talk when it came to planning her wedding, something both her and David had agreed should be pushed back to focus on their son. David was out having extramarital affairs and this didn’t bother Maya one bit, if he was having sex with other women it meant that he asked of it less from her and she wouldn’t have to go through the motions of enjoying it or even allowing her mind to wonder to beautiful women, she knew it was wrong but the thought wasn’t as sinful as the deed. Ironically, David accused her of having an affair which resulted in a heated argument. She hadn’t expected the punch but she wasn’t surprised by it either, if things had been different, she might have stayed but David made the mistake of striking her in front of Eli and that was something she was not going to allow around her son. She took her son and left, reported to the police and stayed with a friend for a little while so she could figure out what to do. Maya stayed long enough to press charges and file a restraining order against David before leaving the state of Texas entirely. Her family had argued David’s case, putting the blame on her, that she shouldn’t have made him angry and in that moment she saw everything clearly, she was never going to be the girl they wanted her to be way. She was done, she needed somewhere she could build a new life for herself and for Eli, one where people wouldn’t be able to find her, one where David wouldn’t find them and despite their fake relationship, she knew David and he hated big, loud and busy places. New York seemed like the perfect place for a new life.

Life in New York was something was freeing and terrifying. Maya found herself alone, a young, single mother with little money and nowhere to stay. She pawned off what little items she possessed worth any money in order to secure an apartment for a month while she hunted for work. Maya had parted from TCU on good terms and was able to get a glowing reference from someone who had no connections to David, that didn’t stop her from constantly looking over her shoulder though. With a job secured, Maya was able to find a local day care for Eli. Things were uncertain but she had secured their lives in New York, at least for now.

6) A split second, that’s all it takes for a child to vanish from their parents eyesight, it was all it took for Eli to disappear out of Maya’s sight. Maya was frantic with worry, terrified that David had actually followed them to New York and taken her son. Thankfully, the panic was short lived and Eli had toddled off to pet the dog of a stranger, except this wasn’t any stranger. To Maya’s shock, the dog, Batman, belonged to no other than Dani, her Dani. The odds of finding each other were almost impossible and yet, they had. The old friends reconnected and soon feelings resurfaced but they both had baggage. Dani had her own issues to deal with and Maya had Eli as well as refusing to admit her relationship with David to be what it was, abusive, mentally, emotionally, sexually and had she of stayed, physically.

Maya’s career began to take off, her training and physio became well known and before she realised it, she had landed herself a celebrity client. Word soon spread and work came in steady and allowed her to feel more financially secure. Maya and Dani decided to no longer hide their feelings in front of Eli and soon Dani went from being Eli’s “Dandee” to Eli’s Mommy. Maya had what she had always dreamed of, the woman she had loved for as long as she could remember and a happy, healthy little boy.

Dani’s ex re-appeared and Dani soon spiraled, resulting in Dani entering rehab. Maya wasn’t prepared to give up on Dani, not at all, she would fight with everything she had for her but Dani’s status meant paparazzi had taken and published photos of the pair of them together. It was a target painted on her back. Maya makes a point of deleting all the messages, she doesn’t want Dani to ruin her recovery, but Maya has been receiving messages. She’s not sure who is behind them but she is terrified for her and Eli’s safety. She’s received threats that someone will tell David exactly where they are so that David can save Eli from his perverse mother, one even claimed they’d drag her and Eli back to Texas where she will be dealt with. These threats never leave her mind, she is reluctant to leave Eli alone, even to go to work but she knows that she can’t afford to lose her job and packing up and running again isn’t an option. She’s installed several deadbolts throughout her apartment, has given up her boxing. Her life revolves around three places right now, work, home and the times she’s allowed to visit Dani in rehab.

Maya is honestly considering purchasing a gun for protection. She won’t talk about the things David put her through, she won’t admit to some of them, but she is scared of him. Maya wants nothing more than to rid David from her and Eli’s life for the rest of forever so that they can build a life with Dani but until she figures out how to make that a reality, she lives in secret fear and doing everything she can to not show the cracks.

[tothewaterhq]

ACCEPTED // ELI UILA

district five → mentor →  jason momoa fc

positive traits: loyal, determined, protective negative traits: secretive, detached, opinionated

tw: prostitution

describe their arena:

The 53rd Hunger Games launched into the colorful tulip fields.  A large traditional windmill was on the horizon as the countdown began.  Behind the tributes, there was a hilly tree line marking the very edge of the arena.  A bright blue sky and fluffy clouds filled the arena with color as the timer ticked down and the tributes were faced with one painful reality: there were very few places they could hide.  The Games would end quickly as it would be too easy to find the tributes as they ran for their lives.

The bloodbath was brutal, resulting in a large number of tributes dying as the career pack took control of the cornucopia.  Eventual victor, Eli Uila, fled with his allies after killing one of the careers in a scuffle for an axe.  The tulips filling the arena with color were also filling the arena with toxic pollens.  If inhaled the tributes suffered a variety of consequences from hallucinations, pain, bleeding from the eyes, and an eternal sleep.  Those tulips and their pollens took the lives of several other tributes, including Sparks from District Five.

When the pair from District Two tried to take out Eli and his ally, Fawn, only Eli came out alive.  He killed the two, but not before one of the careers killed Fawn.  In the end it was Eli of District Five and Lumen of District Three.  Eli claimed victory when Lumen was chased into the field of deadly red tulips, causing the girl to hemorrhage to death in pain.

bio:

Electron Uila, or Eli as he’s always preferred, was born smack in the middle of a large family.  In the end, he had seven siblings, some older, some younger, but all important to how their family functioned.  Despite District Five being one of the better off Districts in Panem, there was never enough to eat in the Uila household.  His father and older siblings worked at the power plant.  His mother worked up at the hydroelectric dam.  It was a life he knew he would follow them into once he was older.  That was just what you did as a kid in the Uila household.  Once you were old enough, you got a job at the plant to help pull your fair share of weight.  Things were easier if everyone was helping out.  It meant more money, which meant a little more food on the table.  That was something they always were in need of.

When Eli was ten when he started working at the power plant after school just like his older siblings. Each Uila child who started working added money to the household and food to the table.  It was good.  The work was hard, but it benefitted everyone.   By the time Eli was hitting puberty, the hard work in the plant helped tone him into a strong young man.  At fourteen he was already six feet tall. Puberty hit him like a truck. Timing seemed on his side though as the next year, at fifteen, Eli was reaped.

Eli had never given the Games much thought. He was rationally aware every reaping day that he and his siblings were at risk, but that risk never seemed real. It was an abstract concept, a possibility that his name could come out of the reaping bowl, but one he never considered.  The odds were in his favor.  There were so many names.  How could he be picked?  Or one of his siblings?  It seemed impossible.  Yet, the impossibility of the odds didn’t stop them from happening.  When Eli’s name was called he stepped up from the mass of fifteen year olds and towered over his district partner, despite the girl being a few years older than him.

Unlike so many tributes from the power district, Eli didn’t immediately appear smart or savvy.  He was a large and tough looking young man.  It quickly earned him the assumption that he was strong, not smart.  The Capitol underestimated him.  They brushed him off like a dumb jock.  The Careers offered him a place in the pack knowing his brute strength could be useful, but Eli refused to join them.  Instead he teamed up with his district partner, Sparks, and a girl his age from District Ten.  They were underdogs, but underdogs had won before.  Maybe if they were lucky, one of them could go home.

Eli’s strength and hidden cleverness earned him a fairly decent score in training.  People were starting to pay attention.  There were people betting on him, claiming that if a career didn’t take it, Eli would.  He tried not to let it go to his head.  He didn’t want to put too much stock in the favoritism of the Capitol.  So when launch came he was determined, but not cocky.  He was a realist.  He could win, or he could die.  Only time would tell how the odds would shake out.

Emerging from his tube and standing on his platform as the countdown began, all Eli could see was colors.  Every color of the rainbow was laid out in every direction, the ground a patchwork rainbow of tulip fields as far as he could see.  The only landmarks he could see were a windmill in the distance and a tree covered hilly area on the edge of the arena.  Everything else was flowers.  There would be nowhere to hide.  There was little cover from the elements, with the bright blue sky and puffy clouds above him.  Most importantly of all, there was no technology to help him.  Crap.  It would be his strength, not his brains, that would save him if they even could.

Once the countdown ended, Eli knew what he had to do.  He ran into the bloodbath while Sparky and Fawn, the girl from Ten, ran off to hide.  He’d meet up with them once he gathered supplies.  However, it didn’t take long for the boy from District One to turn on him as he grabbed a backpack and an axe.  They struggled over the axe for several minutes before Eli buried it in the chest of that boy.  His cannon sounded and with blood on his hands, Eli ran to meet up with his allies.

With nowhere to truly hide, everyone knew this would be a short Games.

It soon became clear that it wasn’t the mutts that were the dangers in this arena.  It was the flowers themselves.  Each different color of tulips released a different pollen and each pollen impacted the tributes differently.  Those who ran through the field of yellow flowers found themselves hallucinating their worst fears. Those in the blue flowers found themselves falling int a deep slumber, never to wake again.  Those who ran through the red flowers began bleeding from their eyes, nose, and ears.  In another it felt like your skin was on fire.  Each pollen, when inhaled enough, would trigger a usually fatal reaction.  Those tributes not wise enough to realize were the first to die.

Eli didn’t notice at first, but after running through a field and seeing the cloud of pollen, he soaked a torn piece of his shirt and used it to mask his mouth and nose.  The makeshift filter was enough to keep him from breathing in too much of the dangerous pollen, but couldn’t help Sparks when she succumb to the blue flowers.  She fell to sleep and Eli carried her out to the edge of the field.  No matter what Eli and Fawn tried, Sparks wouldn’t wake up. Neither one of them wanted to leave her, but they knew they couldn’t stay for long.  They were too exposed.  there was too much risk.  So Eli and Fawn laid her among the flowers and moved on, hoping she would be okay, but knowing in the back of their minds that she wouldn’t survive whatever the Gamemakers had done to her.

For the next two days, tributes were picked off one by one.  Eli and Fawn stayed close together.  Surprisingly, they made a really good team.  Eli served as the protector, Fawn helped find food and prepare it so they wouldn’t starve.  It was a system that worked for both of them.  Each night the faces in the sky reminded them both of how much closer the end was.  Each cannon was a reminder that the Games would end and only one of them, if they were lucky, would survive.

Towards the end of the Games, the pair from District Two found them.  At first, Eli only saw the girl and he charged at her with his axe in the hopes of taking her out to protect Fawn.  He did it, a well placed slice to her thigh cutting open a major artery and leaving her bleeding on the ground.  What Eli didn’t see was the girl’s district partner.  He sent an arrow flying and it killed Fawn immediately.  He screamed and charged the career boy.  He swung his axe, lashing out and using his strength and rage to eliminate the threat.  When it was done, he was bloody and sore, but alive.  Eli found Fawn lifeless and crumpled on the ground, so he held her for a few moments, the girl looking fragile in his arms.

When he finally let her go, Eli started thinking back, trying to recall all the cannons he heard and all the faces in the sky, but he couldn’t.  Did he win?  No, they would have said something if that was the case.  So Eli wiped the blood from his hands, gathered his supplies, and went on the hunt.  Surely there weren’t many left, and now that Fawn and Sparks were gone, he wanted to be the one to get out of there alive.  He had to.  His family needed him.  This was their chance to finally get ahead.

Eventually he found her, the sixteen year old girl from District Three.  As he ran through the tributes in his mind he was absolutely sure she was the last one.  How she had managed to make it this long was stunning to him.  There weren’t that many places to hide.  He was strong, but she was fast.  Eli chased her as fast as his legs could carry him, trying to guide the girl to the right patch of flowers.  Having seen the effects of the red tulips on the body of the boy from Seven, he knew that would be the best way.  

The girl ran through the flowers and soon, she was bleeding from her eyes and ears.  Eli stood on the edge of the field, his makeshift filter over his mouth as he watched her.  The girl started coughing, blood dripping from her lips.  It was an awful way to die, but Eli didn’t want to do it.  He wanted to blame the Capitol for this.  He wanted to survive with a clear conscious.  All he did was run.  If she’d been smarter she would have survived.  This was the Gamemakers fault.

The girl coughed and begged for help for what seemed like ages before she collapsed in a bed of red tulips, the flowers masking her blood as the final cannon sounded.  Eli was declared the winner as he fell to his knees.  He was safe.  His family could thrive.  Yet none of those things would keep the blood from staining his hands.  That feeling would never go away.

After Eli’s Games, he earned himself favor with many in the Capitol.  He was seen as a gentle giant, rough and frightening, but there was a softens underneath some noticed during his Games.  Eli, for his part, had never hurt a fly before his time in the arena and would never do so again.  He quickly learned that the Capitol was all about appearances and they liked the appearance of the big strong outlier.  They liked the power he possessed and they liked his commanding presence.  He was strong, a figure most often seen among the Career Districts, yet there was Eli.  He filled a void people didn’t expect.  That made him popular.

So when President Snow came to him with an offer and a not so subtle threat that his siblings would start dying off, Eli agreed without a second thought.  He would service the women of the Capitol.  He would be let into their homes and into their hearts.  In some ways it would give Eli access and information.  He could use it, maybe, just maybe.  He could help his tributes.  Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, or at least that was Eli’s initial thought.  After all, it was just sex.  What young man in his right mind would turn down sex, right?

For years it continued, Eli remained the silent and brooding figure the Capitol wanted him to be.  They saw a dumb jock.  They saw an idiot.  Eli was anything but.  Eli was smart, he was clever.  He knew how things worked and spent enough time watching and learning as he worked at the power plant.  But to the outside world, he was none of that.  He was just the gentle giant, brooding and aloof while looking as though he could snap you in half.

When he was thirty-two, it started like any other client request. Eli came to the Capitol to meet with the young woman named Octavia who had purchased his time.  She was young, she was foolish, and it was her twentieth birthday.  For Eli he did what he always did.  He went through the motions.  He treated her like the queen he was expected to treat her as.  What he didn’t expect was that the young woman had sabotaged the condom she provided him with.  What he didn’t expect was to find out some time later that Octavia was in the Capitol bragging about carrying his baby.  She was using him for status and position.  It made Eli feel sick.  He felt violated, but what could he do?  This was the job, right?

HIs son was born and Eli insisted that he be at the hospital. Despite the circumstances that led to the child’s birth, Eli knew he would be there for the boy.  After all, family had always been at the forefront of his mind.  The young Capitolite woman named the boy Roman.  When Eli held him, he fell in love.  Everything in his life suddenly made sense.  It broke Eli’s heart to have to leave, so he took up an apartment in the Capitol to stay close to his son.  What he didn’t realize was how important that decision would be in the long run.

Roman was three months old when Octavia showed up at his door with the infant and dropped him in his arms.  She was exhausted, dark circles under her eyes.  Octavia demanded she wanted her life back, confessed what she’d done to ensure Roman’s birth, explained her motives, and begged Eli to take the boy.  She claimed she was too young to be a mother.  She wanted to have her life back.  She wanted to have fun.  She wanted to go out to parties with her friends again.  They were all things she couldn’t figure out how to do with her son.

So Eli took his son, took Octavia to court, and had her parental rights stripped.  Then together, Eli and Roman returned to District Five together.  In the seven years he’s been raising his son, Eli has grown content with his life.  He worries constantly about what will happen once Roman reaches reaping age, the memory of what happened to Harlow’s son is still fresh.  He cannot let that happen to his boy.  He will do everything in his power to ensure that doesn’t happen.

Overall, Eli is a good soul.  He is kind and gentle despite his outward appearance.  He knows he has a role to play in the Capitol, but whenever he is around his son that role melts away no matter what.  People have a chance to see the softness buried underneath.  For his family, friends, and tributes, Eli will move mountains.  No matter what happens, no one will ever say he didn’t try.

PLAYED BY // MADI

[lilacmoon83]

Dreaming Out Loud

Also on Fanfiction.net and A03

Chapter 92: Over the Rainbow

Circe and her followers marched through the quiet town that evening. Everyone was attending the ball that night and they intended to crash it. They may have stolen magic, but as far as she could tell, they had not released it back into the town. That meant they had a small window where taking over would be possible. They were all armed with high-tech plasma weapons and it was time for a reckoning. Little could they know, the reckoning was happening without them.

"Madam Circe...look!" Captain Channing said, as he pointed at Cronus palace and they watched the roof be torn off.

"What is that?" one of her other followers asked.

"Magic…" she growled, as they suddenly watched the entire palace disappear. Next, the clock tower disappeared, then Granny's, and everything on Main Street. The magic swept around them and when it was gone, there was nothing but woods around them, like there had never been a town there in the first place.

"What the hell just happened?" Channing asked. But even Circe had no answers. Storybrooke was gone, without a trace or explanation to offer. And with it, gone was her revenge, leaving her with nothing.

~*~

The Enchanted Forest

39 Years Before the Dark Curse

Zelena stared down at the body of Princess Eva. It had been incredibly easy. A quick snap of her neck and it was over. They would probably think she fell or had an accident, but now her mother's secret would be safe and she would marry Leopold. She looked at her hands, noticing that they were suddenly transparent.

"What's happening?" she wondered.

"This is what you wanted," a voice said, as the witch turned to see the Goddess Athena standing there, looking ethereal.

"You've changed your fate and since you'll soon be born, this version of you is going to cease to exist for now," Athena informed.

"But...will I have my memories?" she asked.

"I think you know that it doesn't work that way. Hades tried to warn you...and he was right. But this is what you wanted. You'll be raised as a Princess," Athena replied, as she faded away. Zelena was to be born to Cora any day now and without Eva in the way, she would marry Leopold and become Queen. What the ramifications of that would be could not be determined yet and only time would tell now.

The Goddess looked around and it seemed that she would be the only retain any memory of how all of this had happened. So it was up to her to try and fix it. Which meant she had to find the Savior...before she was born, for once that happened, there would be no turning back.

~*~

The Enchanted Forest

10 Years Later

29 Years Before the Dark Curse

"Then you know…" Persephone said hesitantly.

"That you're married to Hades," she replied stiffly.

"Hades is good to me...but I'm not in love with him," she confessed.

"I know," Eli assured.

"Then I hope what I have to tell you next won't anger you either," she said.

"I love you...no matter what it is," he assured.

"I'm pregnant," she revealed. His eyes widened in surprise.

"How...far along?" he asked.

"Four months," she replied.

"Then it is…" he uttered.

"She's yours," Persephone said. Eli smiled and hugged her.

"This is wonderful!" he exclaimed, but noticed her sadness.

"Isn't it?" he asked.

"She will be born in the winter," she replied fearfully and he frowned.

"When you're in the Underworld," he replied, as he watched her shoulders rack with sobs.

"Then you cannot go back there," Eli pleaded.

"You know that's not possible. At the first snowfall, I must return to the Underworld," she reminded.

"I'll not abandon you or our child," he insisted, as he started to dress.

"Where are you going?" Persephone asked.

"To tell my sister. She may have married for the good of her Kingdom, but I am going to be with the one I love. I'm sure that Princess from the Southern Isles can find another Prince," he said, as he kissed her passionately.

"Then I'll return in a day's time and we will figure all of this out," he promised. Persephone watched him ride off on his horse and put a hand to her belly, before hurrying off to find her mother. She knew she had to tell Hades what she had done. She knew he would be angry about her affair, but probably not surprised. He had become angry as of late and the usual ease of their relationship had been strained. Still...she scared that this would only make him more angry and though she had once known that he would never harm a child, she feared that this would only exacerbate his anger and dissatisfaction that had settled in his being. That's why she felt that she needed her mother to help her.

~*~

Hades observed his wife from the Underworld and blue flames licked at his being, threatening to explode with rage. He knew she had been having an affair...and now there was a child. It broke him a bit, but he knew he shouldn't be surprised that she had sought comfort in another man. He had not been the husband he should have been in recent years. His anger and dissatisfaction with ruling the Underworld had been quite consuming and he had regrettably taken his frustration out on her. His first instinct was to make her pay for what she had done. He could kill this man that had taken what was his and rip her child away, but doing that would only further fracture their relationship. And he was afraid of losing her completely. He was afraid that, without her, his anger and rage would swallow him whole and he would truly become the demonic monster many claimed he was.

"I will see you soon, my dear Persephone," he said, as he struggled not to give into his anger and rage at the situation. Little could he know, things were about to change in a very big way.

~*~

The next day, when Eli and Persephone met again, things had changed and she could see the clear change on his face.

"What's happened?" she asked.

"My sister...she's dead," Eli replied.

"What?" Persephone exclaimed.

"They think she fell and broke her neck...but now my Kingdom is without a ruler," he stated.

"And you must step up and take over," she replied, quickly understanding where this was going, maybe better than him.

"I do...but you can be my Queen and we'll raise our daughter together as the Princess she is," he implored. She looked at him sadly and took his hands in her own.

"Do you really think your parents and their court will accept me and our child?" she asked.

"They won't have a choice," he replied indignantly.

"You know that it doesn't work that way. You know that they will not allow me to be their Queen, even if I am a Goddess and you know how they will treat our daughter if they consider her an illegitimate heir," she reminded. He sighed.

"I'm not saying that it will be an easy sell, but come with me and we will plead our case to them," he begged. She looked at him and then heard someone else call her name.

"Persephone…" Hades said, as he appeared.

"You…" Eli growled, but she held him back.

"Hades…" she said, as she turned to face him. She saw anger and hurt marring his features. She also saw some rage, as well as sorrow there and that wasn't something she was prepared at all to see. He looked at the ground and she saw the myriad of anger and hurt pass over his features.

"It's out of my power to release you from your Underworld commitment…" he said, as he swallowed thickly.

"But if you want to be with him...I won't interfere," he said softly, though she could tell that it was killing him. She approached him and hugged him.

"I'm sorry…" she said.

"I know...I don't deserve you, but if you need me, I'll be there," he replied.

"I'm having another man's child," she reminded. He swallowed thickly.

"She's part of you though...and I know that things have been strained between us. And that's my fault...I haven't been a good husband," he confessed. Honestly, she was shocked that he was admitting any of this and she didn't know what had happened to revert him back to the man she had once known to be aloof and cold at times, but never mean or cruel as he had been in recent years.

"But I want you to be happy...go," he urged. She knew it was killing him, but she went that day and would soon realize that all her fears about how Eli's family would receive her and her unborn daughter would be confirmed.

~*~

Emma opened her eyes and looked around, realizing quickly that she was in the dreamscape. She smiled and ventured into the mist, finding the structure and meadow where she had grown up with her parents before her.

"Mom?" she called, but received no answer.

"Dad?" she tried, but again there was silence.

"They're not here yet," Athena told her, as she appeared.

"What do you mean?" Emma asked, as the Goddess of Wisdom gave her a sympathetic gaze.

"It's now twenty-nine years before the Dark Curse again," Athena told her. Emma was stunned.

"Then...how the hell am I here?" she asked.

"You are the Savior and you were used for the spell, which put you in the state of perpetual limbo...for now," Athena replied.

"What do you mean for now?" Emma asked, as a crystal globe appeared and she was shown two different scenes. One with Persephone and Eli in the woods and another on a small farm with a man and a woman.

"Persephone is pregnant with your mother right now. And your grandmother Ruth with will soon discover that she is also pregnant with twin boys. Your father and your uncle," Athena explained.

"Wait...this seems different. Hades didn't kill Eli," she replied. Athena nodded.

"No...he didn't. Things are already vastly different and it's uncertain of exactly how things will unfold now. Eva is dead. Leopold will marry Cora and pass Zelena off as his own. Eli has no choice but to ascend to the Throne now. Running away with Persephone isn't an option and I'm afraid that his Kingdom may not accept your mother as a viable heir," Athena told her.

"What does that mean for my mother?" Emma asked.

"I'm uncertain...all we can do for now is watch their lives unfold. Your parents will meet, Emma, you need not fear that they won't. Their love is written in the stars," Athena said, as she gestured to the sky.

"I sense there is a catch coming," Emma replied. The Goddess nodded.

"Zelena has disrupted the natural flow of time, not unlike the curse did, but worse. Curses are well within the laws of magic, but time travel is not. As you might know, time travel violates the laws of magic and it is a very serious grievance," she regaled.

"Does that mean she'll be punished?" Emma asked.

"That depends, though she has already faded away since she has been born as King Leopold and Queen Cora's daughter. She has no memories of what she did as a result," Athena replied.

"Bet she didn't count on that," Emma commented. Athena smiled thinly.

"No...she didn't, but she's already a wicked child," the Goddess responded.

"Well...she is Regina's sister," Emma responded and then frowned.

"Wait…Regina doesn't exist now, does she?" the blonde asked.

"I'm afraid not...but that's not the only dilemma that will face you. A choice must be made and you are the one that must make it, Emma. You are the Savior and like you broke the curse, you can fix all of this if you want to," Athena replied.

"Well...of course I want to," Emma replied.

"Even if it means your parents might never have to give you up?" Athena asked, which made the blonde pause.

"That's what's going to happen?" Emma asked. Athena shrugged.

"I don't know...it's hard to say how things will turn out this time and that's what I implore that you let things play out before you make your decision. At the last moment, you will have a choice to make," she explained.

"Last moment?" Emma asked.

"Once your mother becomes pregnant, you have until your birth to decide if you want to live whatever life it is that your parents may be living in this changed world. Or if you will it...with your magic, you will have the power to reverse everything and cancel Zelena's spell. You'll appear back in Storybrooke, like you never left," Athena responded.

"How can I expect to make such a decision? This decision affects thousands of lives!" Emma exclaimed.

"I know...it's not fair. But once again, the fate of all rests in the Savior's hands. All I can tell you is that either decision does come with consequences. What those will be in either case are unknown. I'll be here to counsel you in this decision," she offered. Emma nodded, as she turned back to the globe. And she became enthralled, as she got to watch her parent's lives play out before her…

~*~

The Enchanted Forest

19 Years Before the Dark Curse

A jealous Queen stared down into the palace garden at the young girl below with hateful contempt. She was Queen Ravenna, once Princess Ravenna of the Southern Isles. As a woman with thirteen brothers, her only hope of being a Queen was to marry into the Throne. Her father had made a match for her with Prince Elijah of the Northern Kingdom and she had indeed become Queen. But it was not the ideal situation she had hoped for.

Before their union, Eli had a dalliance with the Goddess Persephone, Queen of the Underworld, and the affair had produced a bastard child. Needless to say, Eli's father and his court had been livid. Had the child of this union been an ordinary child, she was certain it would have been sold off at its birth or worse, despite anything the Prince did to protect his sire. But this was no ordinary little girl. This was the daughter of Persephone and to knowingly try to harm this child would incite, not only the wrath of Persephone, but that of Demeter, Artemis, and Athena as well. It was said that even Poseidon adored his great niece and that even Hades himself would promise eternal damnation if harm came to his beloved step-daughter.

But Eli's father the King was still a stubborn man and refused to recognize his grandchild, Snow White, as the true heir. He insisted on the union between Eli and Ravenna, stating that Eli could raise Snow in the palace during the time when Persephone was in the Underworld and that she would be treated as a Princess, but only if Eli agreed to marry Ravenna and produce a viable heir.

But things had not gone as planned. Despite their attempts, Ravenna had yet to become pregnant in the ten years since they wed. Rumors that the Queen was barren began to fly and some very dark emotions had settled in Ravenna. She became bitter, angry, and jealous of her step-daughter, especially since everyone, save for most royals and nobles, adored Eli's little bastard daughter. Despite the fact that most had been livid at the time of her birth, the little retch had somehow captured the hearts of many, particularly the palace staff and servants. She was adored and often found helping the servants with their chores or in the kitchen, learning with the cooks. It was the most unbecoming behavior for a Princess. But worst of all, she could often be found in the gardens, cavorting with woodland creatures, talking to birds, and playing in the flowers and dirt. It's was blasphemous behavior for a Princess in her opinion and she never missed an opportunity to scold Snow for it. She was jealous of the attention her husband showered upon his little girl, of the attention everyone seemed to shower upon Persephone's precious little snowdrop.

Everyone was always going on and on about the daughter of Persephone. How fair and kind she was. But Ravenna was at least certain of one thing. Snow White was still a bastard child and Ravenna was the Queen. And even if she couldn't produce an heir, she planned to keep it that way, by any means necessary.

Snow was a point of contention with them and she noticed the time of day that it was. Persephone would be there soon to get her daughter and as usual, Ravenna would be doing her best to give the Goddess reason to take her away from Eli. Ravenna wanted to be rid of the little urchin, but she wasn't stupid enough to lay a hand on her with so many Gods protecting her. But she had other ways of doing so. She was determined that no one, certainly not that insipid little Princess, was going to usurp her Throne or her beauty.

~*~

Eli swiped a hand over his tired face, as he had just finished a laborious meeting concerning the issues facing their Kingdom. His wife was known for frivolous spending and not at all concerned with the growing poverty in their Kingdom. Add to that, many of the men in the nobility were unhappy that he had not produced a viable heir for the Throne. Moreover, they were expected at a ball in Leopold's Kingdom that evening and the invitation could not be refused. But even with all that, the stress melted away, as he arrived in the garden to see his little girl playing with birds and the woodland creatures. She was thought to be odd by the nobility, but Eli considered it to be a gift. It reminded him of Persephone, of course, and also made him sad in a way, for a life with Snow's mother had been lost, because of duty and responsibility.

"Snow…" he called out and she turned to him with a smile.

"Hello Daddy," she called back, as the blue bird on her finger flew off, while the baby fawn nuzzled her cheek and she giggled. He sighed.

"Snowdrop...there is a ball in just a few hours. Johanna is going to have a fit with at how dirty you are," he chided. Snow sighed.

"Do I have to go? None of the other children like me," she complained. He sighed. Sometimes he did wonder if Snow would have been better off being raised away from the palace. She was often shunned by the other royals and other royal children.

"They're just jealous of you, my little one," he replied.

"Why?" Snow asked. He sighed and knelt down before her.

"Because you're special and different. Sometimes that makes others jealous," Eli told her. But Snow wasn't sure she understood that.

"Don't lie to her, Eli. They don't like her, because she's out here playing in the dirt and cavorting with critters. It's very unbecoming of a Princess," Ravenna snapped.

"Easy Ravenna…" he scolded and she rolled her eyes.

"Eli...when are you going to realize that she must be disciplined? How do you ever expect her to become a proper part of the court?" she argued.

"Well, considering they tell me she'll never be accepted, I'd say that is rather moot, wouldn't you?" he argued in return.

"If you allow me to mold her into a proper Princess, I can see to it that she finds a suitable Prince when she comes of age. Don't you want that for her? You won't be able to see that she is taken care of forever. You know what happens to bastard royals in our circle...even if she is a Demi-Goddess," Ravenna reminded.

"If you call my daughter that in front of her ever again, I'll make sure you're the Underworld's newest resident," Persephone warned, as she appeared. Ravenna smirked, knowing that this was going to cause a fight between her and Eli.

"Mama!" Snow called excitedly and Persephone scooped her up, hugging her fiercely.

"Oh, I've missed you so, my little snowdrop," she cooed. Ravenna gave the Queen of the Underworld a mock bow

"Forgive me, Your Majesty, I am only trying to look out for Snow. I don't want to see something terrible happen to her. You know that are those out there that would like to get their hands on a child such as Snow," she warned.

"I'm well aware of the dangers, Ravenna. Now...if you please, I need to speak to Eli," Persephone said. Ravenna bowed again and turned to leave, with an evil smirk on her face.

"Baby...why don't you go have Johanna pack your things," she suggested.

"Then I don't have to go to the ball?" she asked excitedly. Persephone smiled.

"No, my love…" she assured, as Snow went inside to get her things.

"Persephone…" Eli started to say.

"Give me one good reason why I should ever return Snow here?" the Goddess snapped.

"Because she's my daughter and I love her!" he snapped back.

"The woman you are married to hates my daughter and the people she is referring to? She's the one telling them about Snow. If she thought she could get away with selling our daughter off into servitude to get rid of her, she would have already done it!" she lamented.

"I don't like it anymore than you do! She's just under a tremendous amount of pressure to produce an heir and I'm doing my best, Persephone. You know I love Snow," he implored. She sighed.

"I know you do...but I fear she's not safe here, Eli," Persephone worried.

"Oh and she'd be safer with you and your demon husband?!" he said angrily.

"As a matter of fact...she would! The Underworld isn't the pit of fire and damnation you think it is! And Hades adores her, you know that. Snow is revered there. No one would ever think of laying a hand on her," she retorted.

"What will you have me do?" Eli questioned.

"I want you to protect our daughter! Put your foot down with your stuffy, self absorbed court and your selfish wife! Be a King and stand up to them," she requested.

"I am trying! There is just no getting through to them! But they would never hurt her," he assured. But Persephone would never believe that. Her and her husband's wrath was the only thing holding them back from hurting Snow.

"Fine...then I'll make the warning myself upon our return in six months. For now, I'm not going to allow this mar my time with her," she replied.

~*~

Snow carried the travel case that Johanna had packed for her and made her way back toward the gardens. She saw two women, one she recognized as a duchess and another noblewoman nearby and they didn't notice her.

"At least the Goddess is here to get her retch and we won't have to put up with her at the ball," the duchess mentioned.

"Honestly, I do not know why the King does not send her off with her mother and be done with her," the other woman said. Snow lowered her head, as a few tears slipped down her cheeks and started to wonder if Daddy really did want to send her off. She certainly seemed to cause him a lot of problems. Before she could lament that further, she heard a noise that got her attention and she followed it into the gardens. She followed the whistling and looked up to see her step-father there, with a smile for her.

At one time, Hades had been unable to leave the Underworld, but when Eli had married Ravenna, her mother had returned to Hades. The God of the dead accepted Snow without question and he and Persephone grew closer than ever. And then, beyond all odds, Persephone fell in love with him and restarted his heart with true love's kiss. He was now able to leave the Underworld again, but always returned, as he had taken to ruling justly and seriously, finally accepting his place now that he had love in his life.

"Papa Hades!" Snow called, as she rushed to him and he scooped her up.

"Why are there tears, Princess?" he asked.

"I heard some of the women from Daddy's court talking. They say I cause him a lot of trouble and am a bother. And I'm embarrassing cause I talk to birds," she replied sadly.

"Sounds like a lot of nonsense to me. You are not bother, sweet pea. You are our greatest joy," Hades responded.

"And you can talk to birds, which makes you very special. That's magic that you got from your Mama," he added, as he carried her through the gardens and saw the two women she was talking about eye him wearily. He had half a mind to light his hair up just to frighten them out of spite, but knew Persephone would scold him. So he decided to use another tactic that would get the job done, but was a bit more subtle.

The two hens proceeded to whisper about them, until one felt something crawl over her foot. She looked down and screamed bloody murder, as she saw that it was a snake. The other screamed in horror, as they ran back inside. Hades chuckled and Snow couldn't help but do the same.

"See? You talk to birds and I talk to snakes. That just makes us special," he told her.

"Hades…" Persephone said in a chiding voice.

"What?" he asked innocently. She rolled her eyes.

"You know what," she scolded.

"They deserved it," he argued and she smirked.

"Be that as it may...we do not sink to their level," she replied.

"Yes dear," he teased, as he picked up Snow's travel case and they prepared to leave. And Eli watched on with guilt and envy. They were the family that he was supposed to have been a part of, instead of Hades. He tried to make Snow happy when she was with him, but it was not made easy by the people around him. He knew she was happier with them and it broke his heart...

[lgbtqiahistoricalromance]

LGBTQIA Historical Romance Novels w/A Dose or More of Angst

** A Gentleman’s Position by KJ Charles (Book 3 of the Society of Gentleman series) - Lord Richard Vane is the man all his friends depend on, so much so that their secret group is named after him. What they don’t know is that his valet, David Cyprian, is a man that makes all this possible. Richard has depended on Cyprian for years, and both have been pining for one another since the first. But, Richard is adamant against men that abuse their employees, and Cyprian is adamant about his position in life (knowing Richard doesn’t understand). When a threat is made that could destroy everything the group of friends has built, and result in some of them being hanged for sodomy and sedition, only Cyprian can aid them...if he still wants to be there at all.

**** A Private Gentleman by Heidi Cullinan Review - Lord Wes has a stammer, but his chance first meeting with vision impaired courtesan Michael is a sweet thing. One can only write what he wishes to say, while the other struggles to understand what is written. Michael has a horrendous past, however, and Wes is intimately linked to the events. Their single time together brings on flashbacks that render Michael incapable of continuing his profession and haunt his dreams when he does manage to sleep. This has possibly the most nurturing plot line I’ve ever read, in any genre, but things get much worse before they get better.

** Stormhaven by Jordan L Hawk (Book 3 of the Whyborne & Griffin series) Review - Whyborne & Griffin have been a couple since book one, and Whyborne new his partner had horrific nightmares. In this installment, he finally learns just what happened to Griffin when he was put in the asylum, and how men like them are treated by the medical community.

*** A Scot’s Surrender by Lily Maxton (Book 3 of The Townsends series-standalone)

- Robert Townsend does his level best to see that his family his comfortable, and that matters run smoothly when his elder brother is away. Even if it does mean treading lightly around the stoic and handsome Ian Cameron. But, an unexpected arrivals results in accusations of theft and while the two men are busy trying to solve the crime, they are drawn together. One, uncertain and hiding the secret of how he spends his nights. The other, drawn to the heavens, but unwilling to yield to the temptation of his employer’s brother.

*** Memories by Ruby Moone

- Will Marsden is a man on the run from his memories and his past. Steward of Denton Manor was a good position until Captain Dearne, the owner, lost the manor on the turn of a card. When the feckless Dearne is dumped unconscious and near death on his doorstep, Will grudgingly accepts an enormous sum of money to care for him. Dearne regains consciousness but has no memories of how he came to be in the bed of a dark-haired, angry, but gorgeous man or how he came to be so badly injured. When nightmares drive Dearne into Will’s arms every night, the attraction between them explodes. As Dearne battles with lost memories, he is forced to accept the fact that someone in his family wants him dead, and Will is forced to confront his past head on. Will the revelations uncovered tear them apart? (Hint, while Dearne’s story has angst, it’s Will’s past that really adds a heavy dose.)

** The Doctor’s Discretion by EE Ottoman - Review - Doctors William Blackwood and Augustus Hill are hired to catalogue a medical library. The sparks between them fly almost immediately, but Augustus is hiding elements about himself that he knows may cost him his new romance. The pair set out to help a man sent to an asylum, his only offense being that he was assigned female at birth.

**** Captive Prince by CS Pascat (Book One of the Captive Prince series)

- Damen is the heir to his kingdom’s throne, but is sold out by the one person that should treasure him the most. He ends up owned by Prince Laurent, with whom Damen’s country has a tentative peace. Laurent seemingly encompasses all the worst his country has to offer, being manipulative, scheming, and deadly--but he’s also the most beautiful thing Damen has ever seen. When Damen discovers he must work together with Laurent to save both their kingdoms, it leads to more than he might have imagined, but he still finds that reaching freedom is a questionable thing and Laurent does not always play by familiar rules.

*** The Innocents Betrayal by Victoria Sue (Book Two of the Innocents series)

- Will is on the run from his title’s responsibilities, and an arranged marriage. Having no real plan in place, he flees his father’s house, and poses as a servant. Alex barely survived his time fighting Napoleon, and the guilt about his former wife’s death. He’s broken emotionally and physically, with no one in his own household caring. Left to rot in his bedchamber, it takes the arrival of Will to turn things around. But, the pair also have more than their pasts and futures to outrun, as their working together forms the basis of saving the lives of thousands more men in an espionage plot.

*** Gaywyck by Victor Varga - Robert Whyte is a young man wanting to be an artist, a goal family friend hopes to help him achieve by setting him up as librarian in the household of famed art collector Donough Gaylord. Robert is immediately overwhelmed by the handsome Donough, and his employer’s kindness is something Robert cannot resist. But, all is not as it seems, and several attempts are made on Robert’s life--seemingly at the hands of his beloved. The truth is ever more macabre and twisted.

*** Revolutionary Temptation by Sylvia Violet (Book 1 of the Revolutionaries series)

- Captain Jack West has just gone from invalided soldier to spy for the Continental Army. It’s not a job he relishes, but he’s at least still helping his fellows by working against the British in the colonies. He recruits charming and skillful Elias Ashfield, a bookshop owner with other interests on the side that enable him to move about more freely. Jack is cautious about his attraction to Eli, but Eli knows what he wants, and is determined to get it. Even after the two come together, however, Jack struggles with their situation and the wisdom of continuing to meet with the man that he loves. It takes Eli’s life being at risk for him to come around, and even then, it doesn’t all run smoothly (angst and misgivings continue into 2nd novel). 

*** A Light Amongst Shadows (Dark is the Night series Book 1) by Kelley York and Rowan Altwood Review - James Spencer and William Escher have been sent to the Whisperwood School for Boys. It’s a place where wealthy families can send their hard-to-manage sons, w/out having to pay too dearly for the privilege. James won’t admit why he was sent, and William is quickly revealed to be an addict. It’s only after they come together as a loving couple that James can admit that the cause of his antics stemmed from his parents refusing to believe the depths of depravity in their midst. Amid all this, one of their friends has disappeared, and ghosts begin to haunt the students as they attempt to discover the solution to an old mystery. What they find is far darker than they might have imagined.

Warning: Some novels depict child abuse, murder, dub-con, incest, suicide, drug abuse, patient abuse, and/or other potentially triggering themes.

Rating System: * Least Angst **** Most Angst

[mothbats]

Once again @hamfootsia inspires me to come out of my writing shell to create lil ditties like this one. Bless u, ham

inspired by this piece of theirs, go forth and praise!

sfw, just mild descriptions of death and terrible awful children

Tretij Rebenok does not show his face to anyone but Eli.

The burns, the scars, the sheer damage that has hollowed him out to the very core of his being; these are the things he went to great lengths to hide, once upon a time. The rest of his body he has learned to give up, inch by inch - Africa is sweltering after all, and his appearance is disarming no matter the clothes it seems - but his face is for Eli alone.

Quite often that means it is hidden behind the gas mask he received so long ago now that the memory seems a blur, but sometimes, when it is just the two of them, Tretij Rebenok will let it fall, breathe air untainted by old plastic filters and see the world without a dingy orange tint. Eli watches him like he's a beast without a muzzle, wary knowing the extent of the psychic's powers when unchained; but there is no fear there, not when he knows he still holds the leash. 

That wariness is what brings Eli to jump at the rustle of cloth at the opening of their tent, the humid warm air of the summer night blowing in as one of Eli's boys comes to see him about something or other. Tretij Rebenok does not understand any of them, their minds a bright tapestry of violence and hunger that Eli weaves to suit his purposes, this messenger falling silent when Eli is on his feet in seconds. Their commander is frightening even in his good moods, but looking at him with a snarl twisting his lips and a knife drawn is enough to make any of his men cower. 

Tretij Rebenok responds to the situation with practiced shyness, curling into himself in the darkness, face hidden by the deep shadows of the tent as his unrestricted power flickers the flame of a nearby lamp. Eli is angry, layers of it brushing over Tretij Rebenok's mind like silk and velvet, each variation giving way to the next as it evolves. Tretij Rebenok doesn't quite grasp it at first, this fury - Eli is frequently woken up in the night, this is nothing new. It takes a particularly vivid hiss of foreign words falling off his tongue and the tip of the blade pressing to the interloper's sternum before Tretij Rebenok could fully taste this particular brand of bitterness. Jealousy.

But what did Eli have to be jealous of? Tretij did not have to dig far to see it, having witnessed it once before; Tretij Rebenok was his and his alone, to speak to, to protect, to command. To have someone barge in when Tretij Rebenok was baring his face in secret... if the boy had intended to see him fully, Tretij Rebenok did not doubt that he would be dead by now for treason. Eli was not known for being merciful, and Tretij Rebenok could envision the way he would carve out the boy's eyes as punishment, slice off his tongue before he could speak of what he saw to anyone else.

To someone as wretchedly starved for anything that could be construed as affection as Tretij Rebenok, this was the closest thing he knew to love.

It was but a breath and Tretij Rebenok was behind Eli, ankles delicately crossed where he hovered with his face pressed into blond hair. At the best of times it still smelled like sweat and musk and campfire smoke, this being no exception, warm and nearly comforting. Mind to mind, Tretij Rebenok relished in the close contact, feeding from the emotional upheaval as his palm slid along Eli's spine to his shoulder, the bony fingers of his other hand dancing down to Eli's forearm before holding loosely to it, steadying the knife. Eli seemed somewhat annoyed by the sudden contact, though not enough to do anything about it, Tretij Rebenok glancing out of the corner of his eye at the boy once more.

The stranger was still and silent, tense like an animal about to run. There was only one way this could go since he entered this sacred space of theirs, and Tretij Rebenok grinned against Eli's filthy scalp, nestling into those emotions that had so drawn him to the other in the first place. Even if it was an accident, Eli had to set examples, didn't he? He had warned them all so many times not to walk in like this, not to get too close to Tretij Rebenok, no touching, no staring: like a blazing star walking among them, only to be handled by their god. Well, sometimes lessons bared repeating.

Eli moved so quickly that it was like Tretij Rebenok wasn't there at all, a weightless apparition clinging to his form and bracing his arm as the knife sunk deep into the boy's throat. There was no fanfare, little more than a gurgle as blood began to well up and spill from cracked lips. When Eli withdrew the unfortunate soul sunk to his knees, clawing at his neck with a desperation that sung beautifully in Tretij Rebenok's head, reminding him of an antelope caught in the jaws of a lion, knowing death's hand was on them but struggling nonetheless. Tretij Rebenok could taste the bitterness of futility on his tongue, mulled it over as that foreign mind fell to silence.

Once the unsightly gasping finally ended, Eli inhaled sharply, as if breaking from a trance, a slight shiver echoing through his body as it began to relax. Alone once more. He didn't seem to notice Tretij Rebenok until he moved to drop the soiled knife, eyes following the way the empath's arm remained attached to his. They didn't need to speak the same language for him to understand the soft gloating in Tretij Rebenok’s head, that dark curl of pleasure taken from knowing that Eli was entirely ready to dispose of someone who may have had only the barest of glimpses at the psychic in vulnerability. Wiping his memory or instating a lighter punishment had been beyond Eli in the heat of the moment - the penalty for such a transgression had always been nothing less.

For Tretij Rebenok, love was just like this: stained with blood and dirt and starved possessiveness, the kind that wrapped him up in warmth like a blanket, a shield against those that would harm him. It didn’t bother him that it also held the potential to suffocate him, provided by the one that would kill him before he fell to another's hands. Tretij Rebenok thinks how he would welcome the knife at his throat next if such a thing ever came to pass.

But for now he coos something sweet and meaningless into Eli's mind, daring to nuzzle a little more until red strands mix with blond. Eli is gentled under his hands for this one stitch of time and he will take advantage of it, holding tight and breathing in his enrapturement of this one person, the only one deserving of it. The blood slicking their feet is the offering, and Tretij has accepted it wholeheartedly, the spill black as ink in the tent when the lantern gives out.

Hidden from the world, Tretij Rebenok smiles until his scars ache, eyes closed as Eli pulls him down, down, down.