#he still gets tired but hes getting pretty good at getting around

[euthymiya]

part one ; office mate! gojo ; company heir! gojo ; female intern! reader ; fluff ; pre getting together

Satoru is good at getting things he wants. It’s not because he’s spoiled (although he’s that, too) but rather, it’s because he’s persistent. Annoyingly so. Persistent in that way where he doesn’t necessarily earn what he wants, but scores it just because the other party is tired enough to cave for the sake of some peace.

Case example: you.

You sit across from him as he happily sips on his excessively expensive coffee from all the extra syrups.

“How can you have that much sugar?” You cringe.

He raises an amused brow as he hums, “Because I don’t choose to be miserable. You should try it sometime.”

Glaring, you roll your eyes before taking a sip of your own coffee. Satoru is at least nice and chivalrous enough to pay for your coffee—although, knowing what you do now, it’s not exactly as though he can’t afford it. You’re pretty sure being the heir to the company you intern for means he’s loaded in enough money that a simple iced coffee isn’t too much of a dent in his pockets.

You give him an unimpressed frown before getting to the heart of the matter. “Why didn’t you tell me your dad owns the company?”

“Does it matter?”

“Yes,” you hiss, “I’ve been passive aggressively calling you a lazy asshole for two months!”

“Do you change your mind about that?” He asks infuriatingly calmly.

“No,” you admit. You take a long look at him before nodding in confirmation as you repeat, “No, I don’t.”

He pouts a little at that, still cute and aggravating at the same time. “Hey,” he says, only a little wounded and a whole lot excessively dramatic. You can tell he didn’t get a lot of attention growing up with the way he pulls theatrics. Something about the psychology of unmet emotional needs as a child from your one semester of psych in college comes back. “You don’t have to say it so condescendingly.”

“Well, you are lazy,” you point out. He shrugs because…well, it’s a fair point. “But now I know why.”

“So what, if you knew my old man was our big boss, you’d be nicer to me? Is that it?”

You crinkle your nose and give him a look of disbelief. “No,” you say—it’s almost amused. The first ounce of humor you’ve shown around him at all. “But I wouldn’t have wasted my energy caring that you’re a deadweight in the office.”

“Ouch,” he pouts, “I bought the coffee machine on our floor!”

“It’s getting rather faulty,” you hum, “You should consider investing in another one for us.”

Satoru likes that about you. You’re interesting. Interesting not because you’re exceptionally smart or all that impressive—not that you’re bad by any means. Being accepted as an intern here must mean your resume has a degree of prestige to it, but you’re just like any other person in the building. Except, instead of shrugging off his bratty, obnoxious self, you seem to care a great deal about what he does.

It greatly amuses him enough that you’ve sparked his interest.

“You’re fun,” he chuckles, “I like you. You’re not boring.”

“Just what every woman wants to hear,” you bat your lashes, sarcastically giving him a dreamy sigh, “Not boring. How charming of you.”

He grins wider, and something in your heart does a little bit of a clench. It’s so…pretty. Everything about him is pretty. The clean, pristine button down with perfectly ironed pants. The soft, messy hair that somehow adds to his expensive look rather than take away. Those bright, piercing blue eyes that feel like you’re lost in infinity when you look into them.

He’s pretty. Pretty annoying, too—but pretty all the same.

“I’m working on it,” he murmurs.

“What? Your manners?” You snort.

“My charm,” he corrects.

“We might be here for quite some time then,” you tease. You don’t know what it is. Falling into a bantering back and forth with him is so easy—so amusing and, if you’re honest, a tiny bit exciting.

Maybe a background of wealth and fortune makes a man appealing like that. Or maybe he’s just likable. You’re not sure yet.

“You’re saying you’ll be here waiting for me to get there?” He raises a brow, winking as he adds, “So maybe you’re charmed after all.”

“That’s a stretch,” you pretend to scoff. Nevermind the hardly hidden smile on your face—that means nothing. “I just want to watch you fail, that’s all.”

“And if I succeed?” He challenges, looking at you expectantly.

You roll your eyes, deciding to indulge him in whatever petty games he has going on. “In what, being charming?”

“Yes,” he nods, “What if I succeed in being an irresistible dreamboat of an office neighbor?”

“I doubt that’ll happen,” you bite your lip in an attempt to fight back a large, dimpled grin. It’s funny, you think—just up until a few hours ago, all he ever managed to do was pull your lips into a scowl. Now, it feels like it’s impossible not to stretch them into a smile. “But, if it does, I suppose I’ll eat my own words.”

“No,” Satoru shakes his head, lips curled into a serious, unsatisfied frown, “No that simply won’t do. I need better than that.”

“Okay,” you finally laugh. It’s radiant. It comes from your belly and vibrates through your chest. He’s somehow good at it—just one coffee grab during your lunch break, and he’s already managed to earn the sound of your joy so easily. Something about that tickles a weird, unfamiliar spot under your ribcage. “Lay out your terms.”

“You have to be my girlfriend if I manage to make your eyes turn into hearts over my handsomely unbeatable appeal.”

It’s cheeky, his grin. Wide, confident, and still boyishly hopeful. You start to wonder why you ever disliked such an easy to fall for smile.

“That’s pretty bold,” you note.

“I’m bold about the things I want.” You pretend that those words don’t make your heart do a helpless flutter.

“Okay,” you nod, agreeing as you take a final sip of your coffee and hand him the empty cup, “I’ll agree to these unlikely terms. You can start by bringing me another coffee.”

“You got it, boss,” he salutes before doing a giddy little jog to the counter and ordering you another coffee. It’s cute. It has your heart in a scarily fast chokehold.

Somewhere in the heat of the moment, as you watch him fumble over his wallet and almost drop his card while he goes to pay, you think he may have already won the terms to this ridiculous agreement.

But you won’t tell him that, you think. Just to drag out the eager, hopeful look in his eyes that dart over at you and shoot you a sly wink.

———————————

here is part two as promised for @enyathedrakaina bc they sent me cat pics

[wonsdoll]

GOOD FOR YOU ── SJY

❛ 𝗅𝖾𝗆𝗆𝖾 𝗌𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗁𝗈𝗐 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗎𝖽 𝗂 𝖺𝗆 𝗍𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋𝗌, 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝖺 𝗆𝖾𝗌𝗌 𝗈𝗇 𝗆𝗒 𝖿𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗋──𝗌𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅 𝗅𝗈𝗈𝗄 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗒𝗈𝗎 🗯️ 𝗌𝗎𝗋𝗉𝗋𝗂𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖺 𝗉𝗋𝖾𝗍𝗍𝗒 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝗌𝗌

심재윤 ／⠀𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 reader ── slight suggestive + non 𝑖𝑑𝑜𝑙 au ｡｡ when i tell u i can’t stop thinking about jake .. i mean it TT ∿ ✦ more

THE SOUND OF THE APARTMENT DOOR clicking quickly catches your attention as you finish off your makeup. tonight, you were going out with a few friends for a well—deserved girls night. you and your friends decided to go to a few clubs before ending the night at one of their houses for a little extra fun.

jake walks into the bedroom, looking more tired than usual after a long exhausting day at the office. he tugs onto his red tie as he enters the room, his focus is elsewhere—until he sees you.

jake’s hands freeze mid motion, his tie hanging loosely around his neck. “woah..” he scans your body from head to toe. the skin tight dress hugs every curve, while the neckline draws attention to the faint shimmer on your collarbone due to your shimmery body mist.

“you like?” you tease, giving him a little spin to show off your outfit.

“like it?” jake’s voice is close to a whisper, as he closes the distance between the two of you. “you’re stunning, princess.”

his hands reach for your waist instinctively, pulling you closer against him. jake’s lips brush against your shoulder, sending a quick shiver down your spine. “you didn’t tell me i was coming home to a pretty surprise.” he murmurs, his lips grazing your neck.

“didn’t think i needed to.” you tilted your head, giving him better access to your exposed neck, as he plants his kisses along your skin. jake’s lips reach below your ear, pressing another gentle kiss.

“where are you going dressed like this?” jake hums in approval, his fingers trailing along the soft material of your dress.

“girls night..we spoke about this remember?” you replied, your voice slightly quivers as his lips continue their gentle gestures.

“cancel”

you laughed softly, nudging him gently. “absolutely not sim jaeyun.. we’ve been planning this night for two weeks now.”

jake groans, pulling back just enough to meet with your eyes. “do you really have to leave looking like this? you know i won’t be able to stop thinking about you for the remainder of the night.”

you press a quick kiss to his pouty lips. “that’s kind of the point, baby.”

his fingers linger on your waist as you pick up your bag, as much as he hates to let you go out tonight—he’ll still be awake, waiting for you to get home.

TAGLiST: @elysianiki @flwrstqr @coqhee @kiss4noo @yvnempire @mygnolia @kairoot @heechwe @nshmuras @txnwvc (send an ask or comment to be added)

[bunnyinvanilla]

sugar daddy bar!owner price series | warnings: +18, age gap (reader is 21 and price is in his 40s), fem!reader, sugar daddy/baby relationship mentioned, not smut but suggestive.

price thought a doll like you deserved a grown, strong old man like him to treat you like a princess — spoil you rotten, wrap you up in bubble wrap and take care of you. You didn’t need to work, get your pretty hands sore and tired from pouring drinks all the time. he’d give you all the money you needed to pay off your college and to get all the pink, girly things you liked so much, ribbons and all. You just needed to sit cutely on his lap, to be his, and he’d give you the whole world. He was in his 40’s, you had only recently turned 21, a flower on the prime of her blossoming youth, who could give an old, worn out man like him some sugar.

that’s why he offered you to be his sugar baby. that offer, made you flush on the spot — he was so confident and composed, unfazed by his own words. The moment he saw redness spread over you cheeks, he knew he had you. His mustache twitched, his salt and pepper beard stretched as he wore an amused, lazy smile. you were always so obedient and compliant to him, always chirping a “yes sir” to anything he’d ask or tell you to do, a sweet, young, too young lil thing, eager to earn his praise, to feel those goosebumps trail down your skin when he muttered a gruff, deep “good girl”,

but, you’d initially declined his offer, because “I want to earn that money, sir, and I’d feel bad if you just..gave it to me like that”

oh, how honest, naive, innocent and pure you were. He admired that about you, but you could see it in his eyes, the way he cocked his thick, dark brown brow upward, that he didn’t believe you’d cling onto those words for long. He knew you were just too shy to accept, but you wanted to. You wanted to be his pretty, little girl. and he was right, as always. One particular night, you’d found a moment to lean your arms against the wooden counter and just breath. You’d been studying all morning, head buried in your notes, and when you got to the bar, you found dozens of soon to be drunk men ready to order alcohol and ask you to bring them ashtrays.

you wanted nothing more than go back home, snuggle in your pink, soft blankets and read your so loved books — it had just been a draining day, you enjoyed your job, but to be honest with yourself, the thing you liked the most was feeling john’s attention and eyes on you during your whole shift and maybe you could finally have someone provide for you.

so, that’s how you found yourself in front of his office door, hesitating lightly while millions of tiny butterflies flew around in your chest, your cheeks as red and warm as ripe strawberries under the summer sun.

knock, knock.

he’d recognized that knock. A feeble, light thud against wood. That couldn’t possibly have been Simon, whose hand could make the whole door shatter down with a single knock, nor Soap’s — bloody hell, that man never bothered to knock at all, he’d just break in.

so he wasn’t surprised to see you, standing meekly in front of his large, wooden desk, the hem of your skirt hugging your milky, bare thighs, your fingers fidgeting together and your eyes looking down at his sitting stance, shy and timid.

“what is it, doll? need ol’ price?” his voice was so rough, so husky, you wondered how it would sound from between your thighs, or from behind you, while his large palm pulled your hair to make you arch against him.

you blinked once, gathering courage to ask for what you’d secretly been daydreaming about, your boss, old enough to be your father, aging like the finest wine, showing you things you’d never ever experienced.

“about your offer, sir” your cheeks were burning, flaming up, “if I accept, can I still come here and help you around?”

“if you accepted,” he almost didn’t even let you finish, eyes already darkening at the thought, a wave of desire rushing through his weary, battle scattered heart, “you could do whatever you wanted, angel, you’d just have to say please”

[bratisland]

Soldier boy x Bottom male!reader

cw: nothing really, just smut also not proofread

a/n: sorry for taking so long with thiiiss im just so tired from my exams and assignments and i still have so much to do... i hate this degree i hate uni . anyways heres gay porn

*

To say you were surprised by soldier barging into your room, uninvited, just to fuck your brains out would be an understatement but you’re too horny to care about the reason…

He’s grunting above you, his thighs quivering as he feels you clench around his cock, “fuck, yeah, just like that.” you feel his hands tighten around your hips as he angles his dick and with a sharp thrust, reaches your prostate and it has you arching your back. 

His name spills from your lips with a cry, how did he know to do that? Did he even do it on purpose?

You don’t really get much more than a few seconds before you feel his thick cock drill into you, hitting your prostate every few thrusts; it has you seeing stars and judging by how loud he’s moaning, he likes it too.

He pulls himself up a little more, his hand pulling his hair back as he looks at you. You feel his cock throb as soon as his eyes settle on yours, “jerk yourself off while i fuck your brains out” he positions himself once again, wrapping your legs around his waist as his hands fly to your hips like its muscle memory; as if he’s thought about this a million times already.

His pace is unforgiving as he drives his cock in and out, little to no regard for your pleasure as he gets himself off with that tight hole. “You’re so fuckin’ tight, you a virgin, loser?” 

You can’t even retort, your hand working your own dick as his is just so fucking deep and, pains to admit, so thick. Dick so good it makes you mindless, and it makes you so mas because fuck why is he so good at this.

You feel his hand grip your face by your chin, his hips still moving, “you gonna answer me fucker?” you sputter as you feel yourself getting close, “fuck– yeah i am, what about it–!” 

as soon as that “yeah” left your mouth, you hear him growl as his cock throbs inside you. “that’s…” he cuts himself off with a hiss as you tighten around him, he can tell you’re close. 

He doesn’t know why, but he buries his head in the junction where your shoulder and neck meet, you would think it was cute if he didn’t bite down, making you cum unexpectedly with a high pitched whine; your nails digging into his biceps just to hold onto something, your dick long forgotten by you. 

He groans into your skin as you tighten around him even more, cumming inside you with a really quiet whine. Your breathing goes heavy and you shudder as you feel his load fill you up, you’re pretty sure it’s dripping onto the sheets. 

When he doesn’t pull out you open your mouth to ask something and he just… kisses you, and this time it’s so much more gentle. 

[seltzer-tastes-pretty-good]

So, you wanna fight a god in a grove - GGG headcanons (will include some spoilers)

Because Great God Grove is my new fixation at the moment

Some headcanons on if you approached any of the gods in Great God Grove, and also how they'd respond to you actually trying it

Gonna be spoilers below the cut, just a heads up

Mitternacht:

If you say you're gonna do it: Might laugh you off, but also reprimand you on the subject. It's already poor form to pick on your elders, after all. You will also almost definitely get that "two of every animal on a boat" line from the main game as well

If you try it: First of all, shame on you. Second off, you're gonna be lifted up by the back of your shirt collar and gently placed down somewhere where you can sit in time out and think about what you tried to do. A dedicated god fighter might as well see results...and if they try it, they better like boats

Cobigail:

If you say you're gonna do it: Definitely gonna be the most enthusiastic about your efforts. You wanna try it, better give it all you got. She outnumbers you in arms and triples you in height. She's about to find out what a blood sacrifice is like, but she's gonna get it on her own...KIDDING! Well, she assumes you were just talking tough too

If you try it: Oh? You weren't kidding? Oh well. Gonna likely try to intimidate you away, still. That's more for your state than hers, though. As mentioned, she's huge and I'm pretty sure even a light bunch from any of those arms could prove fatal. Would likely humor you until she tires of it, then would casually toss you back into the schoolhouse from where you came from. Also prepare for mean/confused looks from onlookers thinking you were trying to threaten the harvest and several large roots popping up out of places to jumpscare you

Thespius

If you say you're gonna do it: Does he look like a guy who's ready to fight anything? He's gonna try and laugh you off at first, maybe question why you wanna do this? It's not like a mortal is getting anything out of this aside...bragging rights? In which case, congrats! You just beat up an all-powerful being that people were trying to look up too. You don't really come out of this, looking good

If you try it: Not even gonna throw a play-punch. All that's gonna happen is you get escorted from his cloud and likely not gonna be welcome back soon. Very common theme among these gods; more keen on just moving you someplace where you're not a danger to yourself

Click Clack

If you say you're gonna do it: then you're gonna get a long laugh out of them, followed by coming up with a humerous narrative on the subject. Will probably be the type to bring up that 'coughing baby vs hydrogen bomb' meme around you

"And spoiler alert" says Click Clack, "You're not the bomb in that scenario"

If you try it: You get hit on the head with that typewriter of theirs. Even then, just because their the smallest of the gods doesn't mean their not gonna be able to throw hands all the same. Hey, now that I think about it, fighting a god is probably a really bad idea

Bauhuazzo:

If you say you're gonna do it:

"No you're not." - Bauhazzo

If you try it: Have you ever tried fighting something made of solid stone? It's not gonna be an easy fight. He's going to wait until you get tired out, then, you guessed it, escort you out of his premises, and leave you to the judging angry looks of those in BuzzHuzz

Huzzlemug:

If you say you're gonna do it: This question honestly large depends on it's mood. It might shadow box with you for a bit to test your 'bravastrengusto', it might find your attempts to threaten someone like it hilarious, it might just up and tell you to "Leave." Bottom line, probably not gonna get serious

If you try it: ...that is, unless you throw the first punch. Like I said, it depends. You might get the 'get off my lawn' treatment (which you should be very used too by now), or you could get knocked out of BuzzHuzz altogether or, if Huzzle is sufficiently either angry or excited enough then, congratulations! This is the first god so far whom I'd think would actually genuinely fight you!

Inspekta

If you say you're gonna do it: Well, first of all, if they hear you say that, get ready to be jumped by any Bizzyboys in the vicinity for saying that. Second off, Inspekta will take it as a silly lil joke. He's not the type to be in-timid-dated by a mortal. Might also be the shadowboxing type, maybe throw a playpunch, but that's it

If you try it: Thankfully, Inspekta's the one god we do see fight. Granted, I doubt he was really out for blood, so we don't know what his full strength is like, but from what I seen, you probably ain't leaving much a scratch on the guy. Remember when I said Cobigail outnumbered you in hands to throw? Inspekta can do that, but literally. You probably ain't winning here

King

If you say you're gonna do it: Then congrats, you got a whole bunch of other gods mad at you, and Razzmatazz to boot. This is the main case where it's not the one you're threatening you need to worry about. King is very unlikely to try and humor the idea of hurting you, especially if you're just a high-strung/overly confident mortal

If you try it: You're gonna stop trying quick. King can settle the differences between gods, she can probably handle whatever's possessing you to challenge gods to fist fights

[missredherring]

I've Got You Babe

Moodboard made by @iamasaddie.

Joel Miller x Fat F!Reader

Word Count: 1k

Rating: T

Summary: There's no beer in the fridge.

Contents: Fluff. Silly goose behavior.

A/N: This is for @iamasaddie 24hr writing challenge. The flow of time is an illusion, Jen. Can you tell I wrote this after work?

There's no beer in the fridge.

He's been standing in front of the open door, but no matter how many times he blinks the contents don't change: the lunches you'd made for them on Sunday and a case of sparkling water.

So there's no dinner or beer.

He could go to the bar and kill two birds with one stone: dinner and a drink without any effort on his part beside getting his wallet out. The fridge starts to hum and his eyes land on the neatly stacked food containers again.

It's not just him anymore. Maybe he'd gotten too used to taking the easy way out in the time he'd been by himself between Sarah moving out and you moving in.

Joel sighs, closes the door, and shuffles off to find you.

You're washing your face in the bathroom and whatever he opened his mouth to say follows the water right down the drain. The way you're bent over the sink makes your ass that much bigger and his tired eyes can't look away until you turn to grab a towel hanging from the bar.

You raise your eyebrows at him when you see him leaning against the doorjamb.

"There's nothing for dinner-" he starts to say and regrets it when you freeze. The wheels are almost visible as they turn your brain around and around.

"Shit. I'm sorry- I was focused on lunch and didn't-" you start to say but he quickly straightens up and holds his hands out towards you to hijack that train of thought.

"It ain't a problem, sweetheart, you did good on that- trust me. D'you wanna go out to dinner tonight and then we can swing by the grocery store on the way home?"

"Yea. Let's do that," you look down at yourself and pluck at the wrinkled t-shirt. "I just need to change into something else and then we can go."

He thinks you look just as good in yoga pants and a t-shirt as you do in everything else, but Joel knows when to pick his battles and follows you into the bedroom to change himself. His collection of un-stained clothing has been growing since he started dating you, and now is as good a time as any to wear them.

Dressed in a green polo shirt and a newer pair of jeans, he waits for you to finish slipping on shoes before ushering you to the truck. With the way you smooth the fabric down he wonders if you can feel the weight of his gaze as he watches the hem of your dress brush along the back of your dimpled thighs.

The keys are in the ignition and he grips them to turn and start the ignition when a thought occurs to him. He'd had to buy building materials earlier for his current job so he was lower on funds than he'd expected. Joel sits back and rubs at spot of dirt on the steering wheel. He turns his head towards you, looking at the soft curve of your jaw, unable to meet your eyes when he asks if you can cover dinner and groceries tonight.

You pause, doing some mental math of your own, and give him a smile. "I've got it, baby. Did Greg not bring everything you needed for the job again? I don't know why you still work with him if he keeps messing up like this."

Joel scoffs and starts the truck, choosing not to linger on how the relief spreads through him at your easy acceptance. "This is the last time. I've given him enough chances."

The sunlight is concentrated into the golden hue just before it starts to set and it bathes the cab of the truck. At a stoplight he glances over to see the way you squint against the light and when you finally turn your head the few grey strands of hair he can make out at this distance shimmer with the movement.

"Does that make me your Sugar Mommy? Since I'm paying for everything so you don't have to worry your pretty little head?"

"I wouldn't know what to do with myself," he says honestly and then goes on, curious now, "'That something you want? To be my Mommy?"

The laugh lines around your mouth deepen and twist as you cringe. "No- wait, say it again?"

"Mommy?"

"Yea, no, not for me. Nope."

"You sure? Maybe you just need to get used to it, Mommy. Mama?"

He's got you laughing and he sways easily when you push at his arm to stop him.

"What about you, Daddy?" You tease him in a sultry tone, but all he can hear is every time Sarah called him that before she grew up and started calling him "Dad" instead.

"No. That ain't bedroom talk for me."

"See?"

"I was a daddy; you don't have kids."

"Yes, and that has been a deliberate choice."

He grunts when you shove him again and then turns his attention back to the road when the light changes.

"Thank you," you say as the mirth settles in the cab.

"For suggesting dinner and then making you pay?" He jokes and is happy to find he doesn't feel bad about it.

When you reach over to take his hand Joel just switches his grip on the wheel to his left hand and locks your fingers together, resting them in your warm lap.

"More and more I understand why my mom acted as if doing anything after work was a huge issue. Most days all I'm focusing on is getting home and out of my bra." Yea, me too is on the tip of his tongue, but the tone of your voice stops him. He squeezes your hand in encouragement. "So thank you for reminding me that it's fun to go out and do things after work."

"You're welcome, honey," he says, bringing your clasped hands to his mouth for a kiss. "And if you ever want help getting out of your bra, I'm always happy to help with that too."

[sinsolstice]

★ 彡 WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME. ✧ MIGUEL O'HARA

oneshot ❥ miguel notices that you’re not your usual self. it concerns him that the sunshine he knows you as is losing your light. he decides to get to the point of it and checks on you.

❥ tropes: tired sunshine reader + grumpy concern miguel, light hurt/comfort, afab reader. ❥extras: divider creds: cafekitsune. ❥wc: 3,600

“Hey, do you think she’s alright?” 

Miguel glares at the young variants of Spider-People from the holographic screen. As the leader of the society, he’s expected to oversee things. The multiverse and Spider-People are in the building and on missions. He sees Miles, Gwen, Hobie and Pavitr in the hallways. Miguel assumes they're going to his office to deliver their mission logs from the mission he gave them. 

Miguel turns to look at the screen; there should be five of them coming back. He stares at the screen a little longer, red eyes hoping to glimpse a familiar figure. You are not with the young variants. 

Pavitr mentions your name and adds, “Perhaps she’s feeling unwell today.” 

“I don’t think I would use ‘unwell’ to describe her today,” Gwen says. “It’s more like she’s—”

“Angry?” Hobie guesses. “On edge? Like the way I would express my anger and hatred to the PMs and oppression of society?”

“Pretty much,” Gwen’s voice trails. “She seems more tired than she usually is. It’s not like her, you know?”

“Maybe we can get her something and check up on her after this.” Miles suggests. 

This shouldn’t surprise Miguel; the mission he gave you wasn’t an easy one. He assigned you to lead the team this time, trusting your abilities and judgement. Outcomes of every mission you come back from bring him neutrally satisfied and at ease. You’re usually the one who updates him about the mission. Hiding nothing from him, even with things that someone in your assigned team has done will make his blood boil. You’re a person Miguel relies on and trusts a lot. He depends on you to keep the multiverse safe, and depending on your presence, to remind him of what he’s fighting for. 

Hearing the young Spider-Heroes talk about your unusual behaviour keeps him attentive. He knows you. Well, everyone in the Alchemax building knows what you’re like. The bright and cheerful spider-heroine, your presence and energy, lightens the room. Everyone in the building would believe that you are a ray of sunshine in human form. Delightful to be around, and everyone comes to you because you give people some sort of comfort. You might as well be the Spider Society’s very own Spider-Sunshine. 

Miguel slowly descended at his preferred pace. He knows that the youngsters are coming to see him, but you’re not. It troubles him and hides it by being inquisitive; “Lyla, what’s the status of her? Has she been injured during the mission?” 

His holographic assistant appears next to him. “There hasn’t been a report of major injuries based on the mission’s footage.” 

“Is she still in the building?” 

“Yes, she is. In her room. She’s asked not to be disturbed.” 

“Miguel!” A female voice echoes. Miguel withholds himself from sighing at being interrupted to ask his assistant more. “We’re back.” 

“Reporting for duty!” Pavitr adds. 

Miguel turns around to see the younger Spider-Men and Spider-Gwen. Though the platform has reached its lowest stop, he’s still towering over the four of them. Looking at Miles, Gwen, Hobie and Pavitr from above. “Mission report?” 

“It’s all good, Miguel! We caught the anomaly as planned.”

“The clean-up team arrived on the scene and there were no casualties,” Gwen says. “Though I think I might have to check myself for a chiropractor.” She mumbles, and slowly rotates her right arm, touching her shoulder. 

“Hmph.” Miguel’s eyes bore mindless. Seeing there’s no sight of you irks him a little. After a few seconds of silence, he glances at the four of them. “How is she?”

“She?” Miles’ voice echoes. His eyes widen in realisation, probably because he’s intimidated by the way Miguel is glaring. “She’s uh… she’s okay. She just needs to recharge herself after a hard mission.” 

“Oh, and she said that she’ll send you the log missions,” Gwen says. 

“Good,” his response is simple. The air goes quiet, thoughts in his mind running at the thought of seeing you. Though you didn’t say how she would report back to him about the mission given you’ve retrieved as soon as you got back. “Will she be coming soon in person?”

“Don’t know about that.” Hobi glances. “It seems that she wants to be alone for the day.” 

Miguel lets out a dissatisfied hum. “Alright. You all may go now.” 

The young spider-heroes variants take their exit and soon the room belongs to him alone. 

He was hoping to see you after the mission. And, strangely, he hasn’t seen you in person for the day. The last communication he had with you was when he told you about putting you in charge of a mission to investigate and capture any anomalies in a different Earth multiverse. You sounded as fine as you normally are to him. 

Miguel thinks back to the conversation earlier, about your unusual behaviour. A part of him feels that you are almost acting closed off. Withdrawal. He knows that feeling all too well. “Lyla, are you sure no one was hurt during the mission?”

Lyla gives him an apologetic look and shakes her head. “Nothing, boss-man. Or else the medical team would report it in their system logs.” 

Suddenly there’s a look on her face; her eyes twinkling coyness as her smile widens into a grin. “Are you that worried about her, Miguel?” 

Miguel grumbles and looks away, hoping that his assistant doesn’t see his face twisting in annoyance and somewhat flustered. Today doesn’t seem to be his day that goes according to plans. His mind finds himself back to you again for the nth time. He hates to admit it, but he is concerned about you. Especially when the youngsters said. He just hopes that it’s just your tiredness that could be the reason for it. 

“If she hasn’t sent the mission logs by tomorrow, remind her again of it,” Miguel instructs. “And make today her day off. Make sure no one disturbs her until she’s ready.”

“Hey Miguel, Peter B. is on the call for you.”

Miguel didn’t bother to throw a glance at Lyla next to him. He is anticipating him to call him anyway. Peter is the team leader for the particular mission he was assigned to to save another dimension. “Put him through.”

Peter B’s hologram appears in front of him as Miguel keeps an eye on the surveillance. He can hear his friend’s voice without looking at him. “Hey, Miguel. The mission has gone well today. There’s a bit of damage control that needs to be sorted out, so could you call the Damage Control team?”

“What happened out there?” Miguel’s voice was stern. Even though he can see everything from the Spider Society, he wants to hear it himself from Peter Parker. He notices that a mishap happened that almost changed the canon event. Even though it didn't happen, Miguel couldn’t help but feel annoyance rising in him.

“Well,” he sees Peter touching the back of his neck. There’s hesitation in his expression as Peter glances at him once again. “We managed to dodge the bullet of what happened. You know, prevent the disruption of the canon events. But, Sunny has taken a bit too much at heart. I think she’s having a hard time, Miguel. It looks like she’s struggling.”

Miguel can’t help but raise a brow at him when Peter brings up your name. He tries to conceal the troubled expression on his face. Red eyes stare at Peter for an explanation. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, she’s not, you know, sunny. Not like herself.” Peter says.

Miguel is certain that this isn’t the first time he’s heard about you like that. He remembers the younger Spider-Heroes talking about you the way Peter is talking. About how you seem different. More withdrawn, and quiet, and he noticed that you weren’t as engaging as you usually are during missions. 

“Alright, thanks, Peter. The Damage Control team will be with you shortly.”

Peter B. nods then his hologram disappears. Miguel looks back at the surveillance footage and watches you on the screen. Swinging from one place to another and throwing punches and kicks at the enemy. You’re a fighter and a well-trained one too. But he notices something different about the way you carry yourself in the fights. It’s swift, aggressive, and full of anger from the movements of your body. Miguel has never seen you fight like that before. You look unstoppable. 

He needs to see you and have a word with you. 

* * * * *

The mission you were given annoys you greatly. 

Even though you and your teammates have captured another multiverse villain, you do not still feel well about it. You mess up on several things; the villain was close to escaping, a child who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time almost got killed on the crime scene, and you snapped at one of your Spider teammates over the littlest things. Which you rarely do and you don’t usually do . 

But today you’re in all sorts of places and you hate it. 

The portal opens up to a familiar environment of the Spider Society HQ on Earth-928. You’re the first one to walk out, followed by your teammates. The heavy silence and brooding air feel too thick and you feel that you’re part of the cause for it. 

You walk into the headquarters intending to head towards a place that you’ve been frequently to the past few weeks. The training has become your haven to take out whatever you’re feeling. Except that with every punch, force, kick and flinging things around, you feel vexed—agitated and aggressive. And it’s been becoming more of that recently. 

You punch the bag harder. Faster. Harder and faster until you let the aggression take over you as you hit the bag simultaneously. Gritting your teeth as you focus on nothing but the urge to hit something.  

Bam, bam, bam! Why can’t you get your head in the game? 

“Hey, girl!” 

The bag hits you in the face and almost knocks you over. That snaps you from your torturing thoughts but you just want to be alone. You don’t bother looking at the person, recognising their voice. “Blowing off some steam?” Lyla says in a fun and playful tone. 

“What do you need, Lyla?” You ask, breathing shallowly. Your head spins a little – it’s been like that for a while – but you ignore the feeling. Thinking about what to beat up next. 

“Miguel wants to see you. He’s in the surveillance room.” 

You freeze when Lyla tells you that; he’s the last person you want to see right now. A gut feeling tells you that you know what this is all about and it doesn’t make it any better. You know you can’t avoid this especially if Miguel wants to see you. The week is getting worse for you. 

“Tell him that I’ll be there in thirty minutes.” You say, needing to take a shower and freshen up for another dreadful day for you. You glance at the holographic assistant. “How is he feeling today?”

“The usual– grumpy and serious.” Lyla nods. “Make haste then.” 

You let the cold water run down your skin and body. The time you spend in the shower did help you a little to mentally prepare yourself. When you’re done, you make your way to the surveillance room, where Miguel usually copes himself. The room starts dark but soon there are orange and red fluorescent lights emitting from the screen as you walk deeper into the room. 

Miguel has his back on you. His muscular, broad shoulders are the first thing you catch sight of as you enter his territory. You can never read Miguel and right this moment, you wish that you could. 

“Sunny.” 

You stay still, hearing your name being called out. Miguel’s voice booms in the large room. “What happened? A disruption of canon almost happened.” 

“I–” You begin, but nothing comes out of your mouth. You’re not sure how to explain yourself to him as you think back to what happened during the mission. Deep down, you know that you lost focus back there and nearly jeopardised the mission. And potentially the livelihood of others. “I’m sorry.” You lower your gaze, your voice like a whisper. 

“Don’t make the same mistake next time,” Miguel stearns. His red gaze feels sharp on your skin. His tone doesn’t help either and adds fuel to your unsettling emotions.  

“It won’t.” You glare at him. A tone of determination and subtle displeasure that you can’t help but feel. And yet, you have to keep your emotions in check or else you will be questioned. You feel yourself on thin ice with Miguel at this moment. 

The Spider-Man leader narrows his eyes down at you. You don’t look at him just yet but you can tell that he’s looking at you. Gawking at your body language. “Is there a problem?” Miguel asks. 

“It’s nothing.” You say once again. This time you look at him in the eye with a solemn stare. Hoping that he wouldn’t press on further. You just want to be left alone at this point and one of your hands starts to tremble slightly. With another beat of silence, you force yourself to speak up more, this time hoping that it would sound convincing. “I’ll do better next time.” 

Miguel could only look at you before he turned away. His back is facing you. “You can leave. And I want you to send over your report of what happened.” 

You didn’t say anything more, only giving him a nod. And you leave the room feeling even worse than before with a pounding headache and palpating heart. 

* * * * *

Your behaviour certainly sets him off. 

Miguel couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation he had with you earlier. Something is off with you. He thinks about what Peter B. had said to him earlier and he’s starting to see what the man means. His thoughts dwell further back to a week ago when the young Spider-Heroes also talked about their concerns about you. He can see that something is bothering you and that it’s affecting your job. 

But Miguel knows that it’s better not to ask until he gathers more information on why you could be acting this way. 

After spending a couple more hours in the surveillance room, Miguel decides to grab something to eat. He usually doesn’t go to the cafeteria when it is busy and packed. But today, he’s particularly in the mood to move around. And he can feel himself getting hungry for empanadas (he’s told that he gets hangry when he doesn't eat something). 

Miguel makes his way to the headquarters’ cafeteria, walking along the corridor. From a distance, he can hear the crowd of Spider-Heroes socialising. A couple of them notices him and greets Miguel as he joins the queue to be served. He waits in the line as he minds his own business in mental peace as much as possible. But that’s when he hears a commotion nearby and Miguel turns to look at the scene happening in front of him. 

“Goodness, darling!” Jess frowns. She says your name softly and holds your arms. Her voice laced with worry, “I think you’re having a burnout.” 

Miguel goes still. His red eyes gaze at you from afar, looking at your reaction closely. There is fatigue on your face and your eyes don’t shine like they used to. Your shallow breaths and they sound deep and heavy. His eyes stay on you. Miguel watches as she holds onto your arms to help keep you steady.

You exhale a sigh, brows furrowed a bit. He can see how you’re trying to brush off the worry. “I’m fine. Just didn’t get much sleep last night.” 

“Make sure you get a proper rest,” Jess tells you. “Take a day off for today.” 

You let yourself go from her grip and only nod. But Miguel knows that you would do the opposite of the suggestion. He’s been there before, especially when he first started out learning about the dire consequences of the Multiverse. He knows the signs of burnout too well and you are certainly demonstrating it. Miguel curses under his breath for not picking up the signs of your struggle– of your burnout when he spoke to you earlier. It was right there in front of him and it went under his radar. 

He watches you leave the cafeteria once the other Spider-Heroes have decided to move on with themselves. You blend in the crowd before disappearing out of sight. His eyes met Jess Drew who was looking at him with a sympathetic expression when their eyes met. You’ve kept quiet about your feelings or whatever you’re going through from everyone. It seems that you don’t wish to talk about it– the dismissive attitude and withdrawn answers. He knows what Jess is trying to tell him. 

Miguel nods in agreement. And he leaves the cafeteria, trailing behind you. He follows you back to your universe when he sets the coordinates to your Earth. A part of him tells him that what he’s doing is out of line. But he tells himself that it’s fine; he’s only doing this to look out for you. That’s what a leader is supposed to do— to check on their subordinates, even though you’re more than that to him. But that’s not the point. 

Miguel continues to stay on his trail behind you. He sees that you’ve gone inside a red-bricked building. He swings himself up to the roof of the building, watching you through the glass roof. There’s no one in the building but you and Miguel spot you walking towards the ringer in the centre of the room. The banging sound of a bag being punched by you echoes in the space. He notices how you seem to take off steam by letting out your physical aggression since this is your second time in the gym. Your punches become faster, so frequent that they ring in his ears a little. 

Miguel sneaks into the building through an open window. You’re still focused on your punches and kicks but knowing that you have spider senses, you must have noticed his presence by now. He sees you break a sweat from the combat exercise as Miguel approaches the boxing ring. He lets you continue throwing punches until you come to a stop and catch your breath. Miguel studies your expression and body language. “Why didn’t you tell me that you were struggling?” 

You stay silent, seemingly lost in your thoughts. Your tone sounds soft and vulnerable, almost hesitant too. But it’s still loud enough for him to hear. “I didn't want it to determine my worth. Or to have it determine my future. If people knew, it would seem as if I'm holding everyone back.” 

Miguel can see in your eyes that you’re pushing yourself despite the neutral facade you put on. The daze looks with the ambitious, strong and tough facade in your eyes. It’s familiar to him because he is like that too.“I would be a liability to the team.” 

He studies your face a little longer, the signs of fatigue and shallow breathing are apparent. You’re even fighting against yourself to keep your eyes open. Scrunching your face as you pinch the bridge of your nose whilst softly panting for air. Shaking off the fatigue, the brain fog. 

“Mariposa tonta.” Miguel sighs. “You’re not a liability to the team. You never were one.” 

You sit on the ground and lean back against the ropes of the ring area. You’re too tired to pretend, too tired to put on a mask that you’re not okay. Your mind spirals in thoughts of self-loathing at how pathetic you look in front of Miguel. You try to hide your face from Miguel by looking down, not wanting him to see your current state. You feel pathetic in front of him. 

“Lyla, put my alerts to ‘do not disturb mode’ unless it’s a live emergency of the multiverse,” Miguel says. 

“Roger that,” Lyla responded. Her physical form materialises nearby with a worried look on her face. “Should I call for the medical team as well?” 

“No need, I'll take it from here.” 

You push yourself up to stand on your feet the second a shadow towers towards you. Your head may be spinning but you still have the capacity and energy to muster whatever thoughts you have. “I don't need help, Miguel.” 

The harsh, cold tone that you jab doesn’t phase him. Knowing that it only comes in a place of stress and guarding your feelings. Miguel remains patient with you, putting on a neutral yet there’s a subtle empathy in his red eyes. “You may think that you don’t need the help, but I want to.” 

You see Miguel holds out his hand in front of you. The mask on him is gone and his red eyes are staring down at you. “Take it one day at a time.” 

His words bring a sense of solace that warms up your heart. You finally take his hand – taking on his offer – your fingers and his interlaced together. You stand up on your feet as Miguel pulls you up, neither of the both of you letting go. 

“Thank you.” You whisper. “For not judging me. Or pushing aside my feelings. ” 

“I’ll take care of you, whether you like it or not.” Miguel tells you in a stern tone. But there’s a hint of soft affection in his words. “I promise.”

more links to my works and posts.

[toasthaste]

ok here are some In Stars and Time thoughts: (wow! that's a lot of thoughts actually! long post warning! also warning for like every possible spoiler, don't read this if you haven't engaged with the game to your satisfaction)

I'm obsessed with the fact that the loop that ends up being the final one is the one where EVERYTHING goes wrong. I spent the whole game subconsciously building up my Perfect Final Loop in my mind, how I'd get every item to make sure I didn't miss an opportunity to use em, do all the friendquests and such... I didn't even realize I'd been building up that ideal scenario until after credits rolled! Really really cool. The timeline where Siffrin does the worst stuff he does in any loop is the one that stays. And it's still a happy ending! it's a better ending because of that! His friends saw him at his worst and still loved him! He didn't have to do everything perfect to keep them around actually! Something about that feels so right, to me.

I keep using "ludonarrative resonance" to describe this game and yeah ok I'm huffing my own farts here whipping that out but whatever, it's REAL. The player and Siffrin are on the EXACT same emotional journey as each other, we're getting tired of seeing the exact same lines over and over again right alongside them, we're taking shortcuts because we've seen it all before and just want to grab key open door grab crest etc etc make the progress go. We're starting to find these previously-charming characters grating because we've just seem them repeat the SAME lines over and over and over and OVER again until they start feeling like caricatures of themselves who we can barely feel any real compassion for any more.... It's just so.... clean, it's so perfect, to me. It helps that Siffrin is also one of the more relatable characters I've encountered in, like, media. I don't usually relate to fictional characters much, but, man, the emotional constipation, the building scorn, the depression, the Being Weird About Touch... I mentioned in another post that it's really just Siffrin and Murderbot who I've ever found viscerally relatable, of all the characters ever in media. So like, it's a pretty rare position. (I do not relate to the pun-love though. I'm funny I'm good at goofs but bad puns are extremely tedious to me. Which perhaps goes to show how well-realized Siffrin is, given that I'm able to look the other way....)

I think they could have stood to make Loop's Whole Deal a bit more obvious. I had no clue what their fucking deal was at any point. I totally missed the interaction that lets you learn about The Incident and thus get more Loop info at the end, and... it's valid to have different endings in a game of course, but... I felt like I really missed out tbh! And I had no way of knowing I had to keep interacting with the silver coin.... idk. It felt a bit like a gotcha I suppose. And Loop's deal is really cool! Holy hell! I'm doing a quick replay of the game to see more convos with them with this context, and to get the ending with them, and like--!!! There's so much here! Loop tellins Sif to use the royal We, they even tell Siffrin, like-- Loop asks Siffrin why he doesn't just tell his friends about the loops, maybe they can help, why keep it a secret? Meanwhile... Loop!Siffrin is stuck in their own helpless timefuckery world and refusing to let Siffrin know about it! The Siffrin from the Start Again timeline never learned those lessons, they're still trying to help someone else while refusing to ask for help themselves, refusing to even let on that there's a problem! And getting more and more emotionally fucked up about it! Man it's good. I guess it does make a replay more rewarding, not knowing this until the end, the first time, but so much of the game is already a replay that, idk, it does feel weird to replay it. I've already done so many repetitions y'all.... But I guess that's pretty meta, also...

Oh I'm under the impression this is not terribly uncommon but I absolutely did get got by the ?diary? that had the story of the person making a duplicate of themselves so they had someone to talk to. Like I fully thought that was describing the King and Siffrin, I spent a long time under the mistaken impression that Siffrin was a copy of the King in some capacity. Oops.... I might try to gently lead Beloved Roomie away from this interpretation when she plays it. Planning on being pretty hands-off overall but this is one area where I feel it might be justified to violate the prime directive.... But we'll see!

I wish I liked the music more..... This is a game that I think really begs for some real heartwrenching tunes to enhance all of the everything but instead none of it does it for me at all. I think that's a real shame, it's by far my biggest complaint. I'm not asking for Undertale-tier, but, at least something I'd want to put on my playlist for the emotional resonance, y'know?

THEY ACTUALLY KILLED THE KID !!!! LIKE!!!! I guess I have some biases I might should think about but I was not expecting a game that begins with so many explicit pronouns introductions (rather than just giving us context clues) and that has no real cursing to be willing to kill the kid, even impermanently? Let alone so gruesomely? I think I was expecting a much greater level of.... idk, tweeness, fanglessness, than we actually got. In spite of being a fan of insertdisc5's comics for YEARS and years! And like! Damn! Props to them!

God. God. So, like. All the ending fakeouts were fucking great. I genuinely thought the All Friendship Quests ending might be the Real One, I was prepared to be disappointed because it felt too soon and just not.... quite.... right? But I did think that was probably where it was heading! But it wasn't! I got got and it's so heartwrenching and also so satisfying, the mood whiplash from loop to loop is fucking sublime.

And-- AND! The real ending! So like. Some of the stuff I missed was just me not pursuing specific content correctly. But some of it is genuinely just, like, stuff that has no actual purpose besides flavor. Flavor, and.... The locked passphrase door in Dormont. The four-pointed leaf you can get (but not in the final loop!), the bell chime, etc etc. You can't actually really do anything with any of this stuff. But you don't know that! It feels like there's still all these loose ends! And!!! Those loose ends do their job SO WELL! The dev knows Gamer Instincts, knows people are gonna have that mental tally of boxes-yet-to-be-checked. Left some forever unchecked on purpose, which-- At the end, the real end, when Siffrin is about to talk to the Head Housemaiden and find out, for real, if this is the final loop or if it's all going to happen again, again, again. He's scared. He's traumatized! He's thought he Had It so many times! SO many times!!! Hope is terrifying! Hope is a poison! And the game has left these loose threads, and at least for me I really was not sure it was going to work. Like it seemed likely but the same metaknowledge of story structure that made me think it was likely also told me "but wait, there's all these loose threads, and the only way for them to trick us again WOULD BE to make the ending SO elaborate and epilogue-y....." I was nervous right along with Siffrin! I was uncertain! Fucking fantastic work, using my own gamer's instincts against me. Thrilled about it.

All the characters are so well realized. They all have specific relationships with each other, not just with Siffrin (Important!!!!! Huge complaint I had with BG3, they didn't put their whole pussies into this!!!!). And, and, I love how they all have different feelings about the time loops. I love that Mirabelle doesn't want "spoilers," and meanwhile Bonnie doesn't mind them and thinks of their alt-selves as like... them-but-not-them in a very cool way.

There's something about-- the way the game starts as a regular degular videogame and then graaaadually becomes, essentially, a visual novel as the actual gameplay becomes trivialized. Which itself is like, really really cool with the themes! And also, just.... I never would have picked up a straight up visual novel, I just, don't get into them, I'd rather read a book, but! I was already invested! It got its hooks into me when there was gameplay mixing things up and those hooks weren't about to let go just because the gameplay didn't super matter any more!

Straight up when we first see Red I didn't at all process that it was a Color in a game with No Colors, Canonically. They had to spell it out for me. It didn't occur to me to be surprised. I'm just too used to colors existing I guess idk. I think I wish the colors thing had gone somewhere a bit more...? I'm GUESSING it mostly originated as just a cute little explanation for why the game is all grayscale and then fit in with enough stuff to be given elevated importance (?) But it felt... hm. Underdeveloped, maybe. I think I really want more stories in this.... "Setting" and "Universe" and "Series" are not quite the right words but hopefully you get the idea. I want more so there can be one that develops that more. Not that leaving stones unturned is, like, illegal ofc. I just find the idea very compelling....

What is it with time loop stories and themes of loss that cannot be outsmarted. Man. I wondered, for so long, if Siffrin's country was going to be restored in people's minds, if that was one of the main big Plot Things we'd see. And it just didn't! Their memory is going to keep being bad, they're going to keep having all these huge tragic gaps and it's just. What can you do. At some point you have to either be permanently paralyzed by the horrific injustice you've suffered-- or you have to try to live a life. And. Man. I don't think I've actually ever encountered a story that was so much about that exact specific form of loss, the loss of one's culture, history, language! All of it. Gone from everywhere. It made me think of the obvious things and just. Man. What a howling void. The contrast with Odile's deal made it a lot more effective too I think. More of an expanded meditation upon these themes than just one toe dipping in, I guess? Hm.

Odile's battle profile pic when she's at low health is so fucking hot this cartoon character is so hot goddammit.

Game good. You're only reading this if you've already played it, I hope, so I can't use this space to recommend it in a meaningful way but. Heck. Game good.

[timid-owl]

Viktor's character through The Line lyrics

I can't fight this time, now.

How tired do you think Viktor is of pain, of having to constantly bear his ill, weak, failing body that has been dragging him down for so many years? How hard has it been that he's so tired he can't fight it any longer?

Honestly, I thought I was fully prepared for the threshold in store.

I guess I never really faced my fears before.

How scared do you think he is of losing himself one final time and for good? Is it why he has conjured the Hex-Sky, to remind himself of who he was and what he stood for? To keep him on course? Like an echo of himself, that now he has to abandon?

Stay with me.

Keep the memories of who I was before.

I think that's really heart-wrenching how he's equally scared and doesn't want to face it alone, and at the same time, he's trying to keep a part of himself alive somewhere, even in someone else's mind.

Did I disappoint you?

I do interpret the whole song as both a dialogue with himself and with Jayce. I like to think that after their Council room session, they kept some mental connection, and here it's Viktor asking the question to both Jayce and himself.

Stay your pretty eyes on course.

Do you think it's the first time Viktor refers to Jayce's eyes as pretty? Do you think, if it is in fact a dialogue, it feels like a slap to Jayce? Like he can't breathe, like it hurts, like he wants to scream but there is no air as it is far too late.

I guess I never really faced my fears before.

Now you may say, "But Viktor was once literally prepared to die." Sure, but that time he would have died before losing himself. That was the whole point: leave while still remaining precisely who he was. And now he's at the verge of completely destroying everything his very self is and going against his every principle, which is precisely the worst of his fears.

Now to the angstiest parts.

Sure, there's nothing left to try?

I do believe that is meant like a question, same as "stay with me?" Like a final cry for help, like he's hoping Jayce — or something — might save him after all. Like if maybe Jayce would have intervened right here, right now, while they're all gathered around Viktor's hex-egg thing, he would have changed his mind immediately. Which is also why it's sort of full of contradictions and questions like he's babbling - stay with me but I'd rather you not, will they let me over if a do that... But there is no answer, and nobody is there for him anymore.

Will they still let me over?

This I tend to interpret in quite a biblical way, as in "people who, let's say, cross the line are not let into heaven." So... yeah, they won't, and even if there is I guess no details on Piltover's religion it's still ment in a rhetorical way as Viktor knows they won't, there is no possible redemption after this. And what Viktor is worrying about is not "crossing the line of shroom genocide" but more "crossing the line of not existing anymore" (I again think it's literally in the text, barely an interpretation). Like he is leaving his final note, and while he's writing it, he tries to find something, anything, that would keep him from doing the thing. But, again, there is nothing left aside from the light on his face.

Again, for me, this being a dialogue, I also feel like the "stay your pretty eyes on course" is his way of shutting Jayce up when the su*c*de metaphor gets too close to the surface. Like Jayce would start to protest, and Viktor would shush him. It even translates in the rhythm of the lyrics:

What could be, my final form Stay your pretty eyes on course

Honestly, I thought I was fully prepared for The threshold in store Stay your pretty eyes on course.

So yeah, I think the way it's so tender but also so devastating and desperate is probably one of the most beautiful, brilliant things the show gave us.

[deathbypufferfish]

He's feeling silly again!!!!!

[the--firevenus]

If I got the new graveborn and swapped him with my lucius... Maybe my team would have a chance to survive....

[sleepinglionhearts]

Did dishes 2 days in a row

AND cleaned the counters

AND cleaned the sink

I feel unstoppable. Tired. But unstoppable.

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 27

"Long Time Gone" by The Chicks

[phagodyke]

anyway yeah relevant to that post abt being deaf/hoh and ppl excluding u from conversation bc of it (even unintentionally), that's smth that's been really deeply bothering me lately bc there are a few ppl I routinely have to deal with who do it a lot and it Pisses Me The Fuck Off I've lost all patience w them. giving up and calling it ableism and walking out idc anymore 🚶‍♂️

[sysig]

Some further TMPs (Patreon)

[solis3clipse]

If the chemistry between Contrad and Belly hadn't been purposely more apparent throughout the two seasons, I wouldn't even glance towards the pair.

Conrad first prioritizes a romantic relationship at the cost of deeply hurting (and by my own standards breaking the bro code and betraying him) his brother. Which, okay, if the feelings are truly so agonizing that you can't function without having to date another person, i'll give it to him

But then, in quite a few instances he acts ridiculously oblivious (O.o but I Woav hew Jewemiah) whenever Jere expresses how uncomfortable he is with seeing Conrad and Belly together when he's around. As if Jere somehow is supposed to be happy for them and is just protesting for no apparent reason.

I don't want to dislike him lol but how does this character have the emotional maturity of a turtle.. this season is difficult to get through