#he started healing from his trauma with the help of his mom and siblings and discovered his bisexuality and met a wonderful man

[shmlnbstrcnd]

Every time I try to get into the Hunger Games again, I see how the braindead fans treat Gale and remember why I despise this fandom <3

[redlenai]

So... hear me out, this is my re-do of Umbrella Academy season 4 and also the finale. So, we know Allison made a deal with Reginald and they ended up in a new world without powers and all that, and instead of getting new, weird ones, they get their original powers back, but they took only a sip of the marigold, so they are failing and not always active at will (Otherwise, Klaus, Allison, Laila and Viktor would be too OP again).

Allison got her daughter back, husband left her, I prefer that that way. I also LOVED HER in season two so why not let her be a hairdresser still? With a succesful one amongst old ladies and vintage enthusiasts. She doesn't want any of her clients dating her siblings, she is keeping her business!

Luther instead of a stripper, what about bringing back him being number 1? But not necessarily a glamorous job, but a fullfilling one with people like him who wants team work and maybe start doing some personal healing, so let's make him a Camp Counselor. He is the leader of a group of kids, kids that listen to him better than his siblings, he is nice, he is there for them, he may not be the wisest but he is attentive and sensitive, so I think that would be a good spin for him. Some moms would fawn over him, who doesn't love a big teddy?

Diego and Laila, I love they got twins, I would have liked to see them more. I would have loved for everyone to be more involved to the niblings, so Diego, I would have left him all his fighting techniques, those could had nothing to do with his perfect aim powers so he still had them. I could see him having a Dojo in a Mall and secretly teaching his daughter how to fight. Yes, Laila being totally against.

Laila I really like that growth in the beginning, mom of three, doing undercover. I liked she acknowledged being an assassin almost her entire life then this change its too sudden, yes, secrets aint good but instead of being nasty to her family, keeping that bag out of the house seems correct for me.

Klaus, hear me out, him being a germaphobe, sober, clean is golden. His fear of permament, genuine, death is glorious, and I feel so sad they didn't dive more into him stepping up for Claire, you could tell he loved his niece and even with all his flaws he was there for her and did those changes for her too, not only because of Allison's support. I think his world should have been his niblings now, he'll endure the germs of his niblings and only theirs, his siblings need to wash their hands three times and use some alcohol before touching him.

Ben, nothing much to say. He is Sparrow Ben so yes, to me him doing a bitcoin scam its perfect, I think its the only thing from the beginning of the season that I won't change one bit. I'm also keeping Luther being the one trying to incoorporate him to the family. Still a bitch, but behaves in front of the kids

Viktor, what did they do to my man. Listen, instead of him being a douche with ladies and being so far away and in a damn bar, hear me out. Violin teacher, close to family, simple as that, some of his students are making progress... his ears are no longer bleeding during sessions!

Now, Five. You know, he was in his 60s. Reaching his 70s after this one final timeskip right? (I'm not good at math). I think I would have spin things very differently for him, first, a young body is just that, a young body. He is still older than all of his siblings, he still experienced solitude, trauma and more. So I can picture him not being as sharp as before, mind sliping, stubborn, everyone tries to deny it, but Five is aging, he needs help. Instead of working for the CIA, just an old man in a young body, winning some chess contests for the thrill but tired, maybe sharing a decent apartment with Luther and Ben since the first was the first one to notice these changes.

I wouldn't have changed much of the plot, Marigold and Durango? Having to destroy all timelines? Ok, let's keep that but let's chance the way how it works. Besides, I would have introduced the Fives hanging around in the Subway quite a bit earlier or removed it entirely.

Main plot: Finding Jennifer, Reginald and Abigail come to the conclussion that the clearance IS the monster, IS the end of the world just like how it happened, but it isnt.

Sub-plots: Diego still not trusting Laila or not appreciating what he has, Klaus having a panick attack and afraid of losing all the progress he has made so far, Five's slowly going senile (Getting his powers and being able to access the Subway makes it worse), Viktor wanting closure about all the abuse Reginald has caused them.

I did like the Cult and the Umbrella effect, but lets not involve the CIA, that was a bit just too much. But I liked Abigail sabbotaging her love, I think the gang deserved to get to know her a bit better and see what was that their father longed for so long.

But understanding doesn't mean forgiving.

Laila and Five do get lost for 7 years in the Subway, Laila seeing now instead of Luther how Five IS older, IS an old man, IS aging and NEEDING his family close. I really got this image of the scene being them taking shelter in that green house, nothing romantic happens between them, just Five appreciating Laila is there just to make an odd comment "Wish the others cared to visit", then Laila having to remind him they were lost and needed to get back.

Diego, instead of having his awakening in the CIA, he just goes from sibling to sibling, yes, he does the talking! He still jumps into conclussions but now seeks imput!

Klaus as said is terrified of having his powers back, all his terrors come back to haunt him, he doesn't fall back onto the drugs in an instant, nor the alcohol. Instead of taking that TV, I really wanted Claire to be his anchor, I know, she shouldn't have such a responsability, but who wouldn't want to help the family that choose to keep the closest when you needed the most? He forgives Allison, then instead of the whole medium thing and being buried alive (despite the last being actually a reference to the comic and how originally Reginald trained him), he slowly goes back, sometimes its hard to remember too all the progress you made with your gift/curse, and thanks to not have used too much marigold helped him to gradually get used to it, especially alongside his sister and niece.

Ben and Jeniffer are in the run from Hargreeves and the Keepers, instead of them getting that rash then evolving into a monster, let's go back to my point of interest: Niblings.

Well, instead of a fricking monster, what if Ben and Jennifer just got a baby on the way, one that was growing way too fast, but not as much as the 43 children. Ben doesn't trust nor feel the others are family, he doesn't want them, his real family is dead, that's a fact.

Well, let's say seeing your love at first Durango suffering a weird pregnancy that is causing those weird stuff (I liked the Earthquackes, dead animals, people dead by ink), enemies right and left, not sure if she survives, she dies, there is a baby or monster on the way... kind of makes you want the group of nosy assholes back, especially if something bad happens to you or the mom.

II like that Abigail seemed to care about the gang, I was surprised Reginald even talked about them, so I can imagine her just wanting to care for them, so what if the gang talked during their "visit" about their kids too, wait, does that mean Reggie has grandkids? Are these my grandkids? or step-grandkids at least?

So I think the finaly argument between Reginald and Abigail should have been, yes, he should have left her die, that they were wrong, that's not the end of the world, that is a new beginning. Reggie, do the right thing, that's the 4th grandchild you won't be able to meet.

We have part of the gang trying to help soon to be Daddy Octopus prevent the Keepers, Hargreeves agents and yes, the CIA as its own thing, from entering. Then another half helping Jennifer, the birth happens.

And that is the ending, everything fades to white.

"In October 1st of 1989.... nothing out of the ordinary happened. To be exact, the actual date is (Insert modern time). I'm just watching over a... peculiar family that found each other"

Then we have in said park the whole gang, people that didn't die nor did go to the Temps Aeternalis. Umbrellas and Sparrows as well.

There, happy ending.

[destinedhope]

part 3 of warriors headcanons, this time with trauma, while trying to figure out how to word it all other then cia and war bad

i dont think warriors home life is bad per say but its not great either, hes a nobles child yes, but his parents and older sister died when he was young and so his uncle took over the family, and he already had two sons older then warriors, so technically there was no need for him any more, and while they didnt treated him horribly, it was no secret they didnt want him there either, it was his uncles goal to marry him off as quickly as he could to a different family. this is something that warriors thinks is the only thing he has going for him since hes been told for years by his uncle and cousins that his beauty is all hes worth(hes actually very smart and talented but they dont want to encourage confidence)

however when warriors is 15 the king made a new decree stating all families, noble or otherwise must send a child of 16 or older to join the military exceptions only for one child households or those unable to, warriors uncle saw this as an opportunity to get his unwanted nephew out of his hair not have to see him until he was marrying age(20 in my headcanon for this era). to keep up the pretense that he cared about his nephew, he arranged for him to live at the family estate in castle town in his free time from the army,

so warriors is sent to castle town to join the army the week he turns 16, hes has maybe 2 months of training before the war starts and hes thrown into being a captian with no experience, an older superior officer is assigned to to train him in everything he needs to know about helping to run a military in war time and to speed run his sword training. this particular superior officer unfortunately does not like warriors and his jump in the ranks or his natural talent with the sword. this officer only last a few weeks as either impa or artemis caught the man trying to take advantage of warriors, hes demoted very quickly and sent to the front lines where hes killed. impa herself takes over warriors training as now she and artemis dont trust anyone else to not try the same thing

starting by saying fuck cia i hate her and im not going into to much detail so use your imagination. unfortunately i do think that she was able to set a trap that was effectiveand that she did get her hands on him for a few weeks or even months before he was rescued, warriors deeply regrets the pride and arrogance and feeling of being invincible that got him caught, and is very careful not to let it happen again

due to the one superior officer and the fact i dont see the traitors stopping on the battle field and that there were several assassination attempts weather by poisoning or other ways, it has left a lot of trust issues, and yes he does heal from this but it does take time, and does show itself again when meeting/traveling with new people, ie the chain it does take him at least a few months to be be able to sleep and not wake up at the slightest of noise, to stop watching every movement made when someone is cooking, to trust being able to take food from them if he didnt see where it came from, to trust having his back turned towards them

he also has claustrophobia due to being trapped in a bottle by the great fairy, honestly this one is very self explanatory, hate being in small enclosed spaces

he honestly does have a lot of insecurities, ones i hope ive been able to sprinkle throughout all of my post, do let me know of theres things you would like more on and i can certainly try to find the words for it,

on a higher note to leave off on i think wind was in the war before the lu adventure solely for the reason i think he and time acting like siblings and warriors thier exhausted parent is hilarious, no one believes wind when he claims time was the one that pulled a pank, and warriors is in the background unnoticed by all except those two giving them the mom look(you know the one)

[smok3r7]

Latching On To You

Joel Miller x F!reader

Explicit, 18+

Chapter one: History Lesson

Series Masterlist & My Main Masterlist - My Ao3

Series summary: What happens when, after thirteen loving years of being with Joel, you start to feel like he’s slipping away from your grasp? How much of yourself will you lose because of the trauma your father put you through, at such a young age? You could be wrong about Joel, but something is telling you otherwise - or are you just not healed enough to see past your own insecurities?

Chapter summary: The beginning of you and Joel is a story that most can’t relate to, truly one of a kind. The history between your father and you, explains how the trauma shaped your mind and future. You and Joel have a bond like siblings for the longest time, but as you grow older and independent, a stronger connection is formed - which leads to your blissful beginning of your life together.

Word count: 4.4k

Warnings: age difference in the beginning (15/20) NOTHING SEXUAL UNTIL READER IS OVER 22 & JOEL IS 27!! No use of y/n, no outbreak AU, no Sarah AU, smoking weed and drinking, abandonment issues, trauma from father w/ alcoholism, attachment issues, HEAVY ANGST, daddy kink (minimal), unprotected P in V, fingering, mutual pinning

~So here we go ladies and gents! My first story back, I cannot wait for you all to read this, I’m not sure how long of a series this will be but this is a start! Thank you so much to @chloeangelic for helping to revise this and giving me tips, I really appreciate your help babes🫶🏼

“Aren't you somethin' to admire?

'Cause your shine is somethin' like a mirror

And I can't help but notice

You reflect in this heart of mine

If you ever feel alone and

The glare makes me hard to find

Just know that I'm always

Parallel on the other side

'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul

I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go

Just put your hand on the glass

I'll be there to pull you through

You just gotta be strong” ~ Mirrors by Justin Timberlake

——————————

You and Joel pretty much grew up together in your teen years. His mom actually worked with yours at the hospital as nurses in Austin and that’s how they became close, like sisters. Hence how the Millers became a pretty huge part of your family, resulting in Joel and you meeting. You guys happened to also live across the street from each other - complete coincidence. You had just turned fifteen, and Joel had turned twenty, only a month after your birthday when you guys started hanging out. Joel wasn’t going to college because he was working full time, saving up the money he made so he could buy his dream house he talked about and maybe even venture out a little bit. But since he was living at home, Joel would watch over you a lot while your mom was either working, out with friends, or with his parents.

Your home, that had always been a two parent household, had now gone down to a one parent household in a matter of seconds, or so it felt like. Your dad was always heavily involved in your life with everything you ever did and he loved you unconditionally, but it was as if something switched in his brain, and he suddenly started to drink all the time, then distancing himself from everything the last four years. After the second year of him acting like a mess, you brushed it off that it’s because you were becoming a teen and that’s just what happens, that you weren’t “Daddy’s Little Girl” anymore.

But as months passed, you started to notice how bad it really was. He was drinking so much that he would pick nasty fights with you and your mom. He needed it to live at that point, where he would wake up at night from withdrawals. But the part that will forever leave you scarred, the part that causes your heart to break the most, is how he left.

It was the morning of your fifteenth birthday that your mom told you that he left, the bastard packed up his bags and left in the middle of the night. No goodbyes, no big hugs, and no apologies while he bawled “I love you baby.” Absolutely nothing.

Since then, now in your mid twenties, there’s been radio silence from him. You haven’t heard anything, which you honestly prefer after how he left things. But after all this time you still don’t understand where your relationship went wrong or what you did wrong for your father to drastically change like that.

But like a blessing in disguise, here came Joel and his family to help you and your mom. Joel’s parents have been good friends with your own since you were little, so they were caught just as off guard as your mom was when your dad just packed up and was gone. Since your father left, Joel’s parents have been a godsend for your mom. She was the one who went into a spiral because her and your dad had been together since they started high school. Least to say, she never saw this coming, not then and not in a million years. It truly broke her, and you were scared that you would lose her too.

—

Throughout high school, you and Joel hung out but still slowly drifted apart as he was working all the time and you were focused on school. You were okay with that - you needed a bit of a distraction from Joel, mainly due to having the world’s biggest crush on him and the fact that you were getting a little bit attached to him. Ever since your father left, you tried your best to avoid serious relationships of any kind in fear of them suddenly leaving you. But it was different with Joel, you always thought he was the most genuine person there was and you knew he wouldn’t leave you.

He would play the silly games you wanted to play, listen to whatever drama was happening with your friends, and he would help if you were having any trouble with the feelings that you had regarding your father; if you could even call him that. However, you’ve never told Joel about your feelings for him because, well, at that point you weren’t eighteen, so that would be wrong on his end. But you also didn’t want to ruin the relationship you guys had. You two were literally best friends and you were scared that, if you went any further, that he would slink away from you, just like how your father did, and you didn’t think you could take another emotional loss like that.

—

As soon as you graduated high school and had celebrated your nineteenth birthday and Joel’s twenty-fourth, you and Joel would hang out all the time. You pretty much lived between your moms and Joel's two bedroom house he ended up buying a year prior. You got a part time job at the local bar in town and only worked early afternoons. So, you had the evenings to do what you wanted, which usually included something to do with Joel - worked out great since he got out of work just an hour before you. You two would go hiking, fishing, you’d kick his ass in card games or a lot of the time, you would smoke some weed and have some drinks together and talk about whatever was on your mind.

After your twenty-first birthday, you had gotten a job as a receptionist at the largest law firm in Austin. You were doing really well for yourself, considering your work history - which altogether was not that impressive. So you were really proud of yourself for not giving up and continuing to strive to better yourself. After getting this job you finally felt like you had a purpose, you didn’t feel like you were floating around lost and barely getting by. Your mom was so happy for you, so happy in fact that she threw a party to celebrate you and your success.

You’ve never liked parties that had you as the center of attention, but you knew that your mom needed this more than you did. Ever since that night, your mom did the best she could to hide her feelings around you, but you knew she was breaking internally. So you’ve let her make a big deal out of anything - even if it’s small, for example; About five months ago you had made a beautiful painting of a cabin that you and your mom love to run away too sometimes. She had loved it so much that she showed it to everyone and somehow she ended up getting it put into a little gallery downtown. So needless to say, you adore your mom and will let her be happy by letting her throw you celebrations for even the smallest victories.

After getting settled into the job, there were a couple months where you and Joel didn’t see each other. Nothing was wrong, it just kind of happened, your mom needed you at the house and the new job was taking all your time and attention - Joel understood completely and was so happy for you. However, deep in you, there was a part of you saying that he was distancing himself and he was going to leave you. You almost felt like he sensed that because you two would just chitchat on the phone for a couple hours when you both had time instead, and this helped ease your mind and confirm that he wasn’t going anywhere.

Around a year and a half goes by, as does another round of birthdays, and one promotion that you couldn’t believe you got. You are proud to say that you have finally found a healthy mix of home life and work life. You pretty much have been living at Joel’s for the last three months, which naturally started happening because the commute to work was shorter by twenty minutes from Joel’s house. You still pop over to your moms to grab a few things, hang with her for a day or two, make sure she’s good, and then you’re back off to Joel’s. You’ve honestly been really happy with how your life has been going, you couldn’t be happier.

—

It’s a calm summer evening, warm enough for the bugs to be out but the breeze helps to keep them away. You and Joel are sitting out on his gorgeous back patio that has string lights from tree to tree like a roof, a good size fire pit in the middle of the circle of comfortable lawn chairs - this is your favorite place to be.

You two are talking about how each other's Friday went, which led to Joel bringing up that since you’re here all the time, you should just move in with him. You used to joke around about living together anyway, so when he brings it up as he puts more logs on the fire you started, you just brush it off thinking he’s joking around like he always does.

You laugh as you say, “I remember we used to say that all the time,” looking up at Joel after lighting the blunt you rolled, quickly realizing he’s not joking this time. You oppose at first, not wanting to step on his safe space more than you feel like you already have. But Joel stops your rambling by saying your name as he sits back down next to you and grabs your hand on your thigh.

You instinctively stop rambling and start listening to him talk, “I’m being serious. You’re not a burden. I love that you come over, I honestly don’t know what I would do with myself if you weren’t here. If I didn’t want you here, I simply wouldn’t have asked you.” You’re left speechless, a tear starting to roll down your cheek as you take a hit off the blunt. You hand it to him and, before you can say anything back, you start coughing like you’ve never smoked before. Joel just starts laughing at you, his laugh so genuine he leans back into his chair, putting one hand on his belly and the other arm folding over his head.

“Shut up, Joel! You act like this never happens to you!” You spit between coughs and sips of water. Joel calms down with his laughter as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a hit.

“No darlin’, you always know how to ruin tender moments.” He goes to put it out so you can recover but, before he can, you grab it from him.

“Um, Miller, I’m not done with that. Also, just for the record, I don’t always ruin the moment. I just make them an even better memory for us,” you wink as you blow smoke out into the starry night sky, watching the soft wind make the smoke disappear. He looks at you and just shakes his head as he smiles to himself and says, “That you sure do, sweetheart…that you do.”

You two sit back into a comfortable silence as you watch the flames dance around and listen to the bugs chirp making their own melody. After a couple rounds of passing the blunt back and forth, Joel puts it out in the ashtray next to the two of you. “The offer is on the table, always will be,” Joel says, looking into the fire as he sits back and puts his arms over his head and leans back in his chair. You smile to yourself, knowing he was not going to give it up and, honestly, you wouldn’t either if it was the other way around.

You lean back and turn your head to your right and look straight into his beautiful brown eyes, your high starting to catch up to you and you can feel yourself beginning to look at Joel in a hazy way. Your eyes start to wander along his beautiful features, you notice his hair is getting a little bit longer and the curls are developing a lazy pattern. You start to fantasize about how it would feel to run your fingers through them and pull on his locks to make him look at you while he kisses you.

His lips are the next thing your eyes travel to, and you wonder how they would feel on your body. Starting from your tits, all the way to your pussy, the thought makes you squirm in your chair a little. You’re hoping you can play it off, that you’re just got a chill, but you know Joel is smarter than that. You go back to looking at his eyes, almost forgetting that he said something to you, and you see he’s already staring back. There’s a sudden shift in his eyes as you say, “I might just take you up on it then.”

The next thing you feel is his warm hands on your cheeks and his soft warm lips on yours. You instantly start to kiss back with desire and affection, instantly melting into his touch, but as soon as you bring your hands to his, he stops.

“Darlin’, I’m- oh, shit,” he mumbles, starting to back away from you, feeling like he has overstepped, but before he’s completely out of your grasp, you pull him back in by the collar of his denim jacket and kiss him again. This time, he doesn’t back away from you. Instead, he stands up from his chair and picks you up from yours, latching your legs around his waist as he brings you inside. As he opens the slider door to go in, you open your eyes and the flames from the fire catch your eye.

“Joel!” You exclaim, and he stops walking, looking at you with a confused look on his face,“The fire.” You try your hardest not to laugh and he turns his head to see the flames are still pretty big. He sighs as he shakes his head, “Another perfect example on how you ruin the moment darlin’.” You slap his chest playfully and you both start to laugh. He kisses you as he taps your thigh, signaling for you to hop down.

“Sorry for not wanting your place to burn down,” you scoff, putting your hands up in surrender.

“Yeah, yeah, pretty girl. Go upstairs and wait for me, I’ll be right there,” he winks at you, slapping your ass as you turn on your heels, and you yelp as you run towards his stairs.

—

Your mind is racing as you reach his bedroom door. You slowly turn the knob and walk into his light gray colored walls, instantly feeling safe. You’ve been here countless times, under different circumstances, yet you don’t feel out of place - You feel like you’re supposed to be here. Like everything that you’ve been through has led to this moment.

As you move across the carpet, you stand in front of his dresser and you see two framed pictures of you and him - first one being a selfie in front of his house the night he bought it, the second one being an off guard photo of you and Joel talking the night of your party for your job. You never noticed that he had these framed, and as you bring your hand to it, a smile creeps on your face as you slightly shake your head in disbelief.

All of a sudden, you feel a pair of big soft arms hug across your waist, and his chin resting in the crook of your neck. “My favorite pictures of us…especially you. Your smile was the biggest I’d seen it in a long time in both of these,” Joel says, starting to kiss your neck softly in between his words. You fold into his touch instantly and you moan as he starts to suck a soft spot on your neck. His hands start to travel down to unbutton your jeans.

“I was so proud of you… I was so happy that you got the dream house you wanted. You deserve it,” you say between heavy breathing.

“Don’t downplay yourself, sweetheart. You worked your ass off to be where you are now and I just admire that,” You try to say something, but your mind and mouth won’t cooperate. “My dream wasn’t complete then but now that you’re here to stay. My dream is finally starting to come true,” he tells you, and you both look into his dresser mirror, making eye contact. You turn around swiftly in his grasp as you put your hands on his chest and push him towards his bed. The back of his knees hit the mattress and, as he sits down, his legs open and you stand between his thick thighs. He looks up into your eyes and smirks.

You smile back as you dip your head to slowly take your jeans off, when you bring your head back up to look at him, you grab his chin and pull him into a hot and heavy kiss - one of those kisses where yours and his tongue are exploring each other like it’s an addiction, while he grabs your ass and massages it.

That’s when he pulls you into his lap so you can straddle him. You start to rock your clothed clit back and forth on his growing hard on, while Joel’s calloused hands somehow feel soft as he grabs your ass and guides your movements. You can start to feel the wetness leak through your panties onto the bulge of his jeans, but that’s the least of your worries right now. “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this pretty girl,” Joel says between kisses as one hand goes into your panties. He gathers your wetness and brings it back to your clit, rubbing circles causing you to shake.

“Me either,” is all you can say without becoming a moaning mess. You’re still rocking back and forth but with a new pace, one that Joel is setting. Initially, you wanted to be the one in control but you quickly changed your mind about that, it seems. You want Joel to be in complete control of you right now, you don’t even want to think about anything other than Joel. Always Joel. Only Joel.

Your train of thought is stopped quickly by Joel inserting two fingers into your dripping pussy. Your movements pause as you adjust to his fingers, your jaw dropping as a long moan comes out. “That’s my good girl,” Joel’s starts as he begins to pump his fingers in and out of you. You continue to grind on his fingers as he murmurs, “Gotta warm you up first, darlin’… I don’t wanna hurt you.” All you can do is nod and whine to him that you can take him, but he chuckles to himself. “Oh my pretty girl thinks she can take it, huh? Well, let’s see.”

Before he finishes his sentence, he’s pulling his fingers out of your pussy and flipping you over so you’re now on your back, with him towering over you. You giggle from how smoothly he did it, he then brings his fingers to your mouth so you can taste yourself. Without any hesitation, you open your mouth and let his fingers in as you suck on them. He moans when you make a mess with a mix of your own saliva and juices. Joel pulls his fingers away from your mouth with a pop and bends down to kiss you again, but this kiss is different. This somehow feels like a “I love you and I care for you” kind of kiss, one you reciprocate, wanting him to know you feel the same.

He slightly breaks the kiss so he can pull his jeans and boxers down, his cock springing onto his belly, dripping with precum. Your mouth drops when you notice all the veins he has, just hypnotized by the way it was throbbing for you. “You still sure you can take it baby?” Joel taunts as he sees you staring. Without even thinking, you grab his cock and start to slowly stroke him, and his head falls behind his shoulders, his body jerking as he moans.

“Yes, daddy, I can,” you taunt back with a smirk on your face. Once you say that, it’s like something primal snaps inside of Joel. He stops you from touching him, his hands rips off your panties, and throws them somewhere into the darkest corner of his room. Next thing you know, he’s lining his cock up to your throbbing, glistening pussy but he doesn’t put it in. Your arms are clawing at his back for him to make the move.

“You’re so impatient, baby. You gotta relax,” Joel drawls. Before you can come back with some smart ass remark, you feel him sliding his cock up and down your slit, creating a lewd mix of your juices and his precum. Your hips start to move with the rhythm of Joel’s, and it has the tip of his throbbing cock hitting your clit perfectly. You can already feel that tightening in your belly starting to form, turning you into a moaning mess.

His forearms are on either side of your head as he starts to suck and lick your neck again, having found the sweet spot that makes you cave for him every time. “Joel, don't stop. Fuck, baby,” you moan out, as you lift your hips just trying to get him to quit his teasing, he slowly starts to slide his cock into your needy pussy. He gets about halfway in, but has to stop, “Fuck, you’re gonna kill me baby girl,”.

“C’mon baby, move,” you whine as you claw at his back again, wrapping your legs around him and digging your heels into his hips. Your pussy is throbbing for more, so pent up that you’re getting impatient. “Fuck me, daddy,” you moan as you throw your head back into his soft pillows. Suddenly, you feel the other half of his throbbing cock split into you, and your legs let go of his hips as you yelp. He starts to pound your pussy, like you pleaded him to, the mixes of each other juices creating a loud slapping sound that echoes in the bedroom - you are losing your mind from that alone.

“This what you want needy baby? Just need daddy to give it to you rough.” Joel grunts as he grabs your right ankle and brings it to his shoulder, he holds your ankle in place with a hand as he starts to bite and kiss it while his other hand goes to your throat. You give him a smirk, telling him yes. He starts to squeeze the sides of your throat and you feel yourself start to get in a daze, before he lets go, then does it again.

You jolt a little bit when you feel his fingers from his other hand moving down to your clit. The mix of his fingers working on your clit, his cock hitting every spot you need it to, his words praising and degrading you, and him squeezing your throat has you seeing stars.

“Joel, fuck. I’m close, don’t stop, please,” is all you can say as you feel the tightness in your belly about to snap.

“Let it go sweet girl. Look at you, showing me you can take my cock and all,” he coos, and that’s all that it takes to send you over the edge.Your back arches as you moan Joel’s name over and over like a mantra, not ever wanting to forget him. Your body goes limp and your head is dizzy, when you feel him pull out and you both moan at the loss of each other's warmth, before he cums on your belly - moaning your name over and over like you did his.

—

Fucked out of your minds, Joel rolls off of you and both of you lay on your backs next to each other, just listening to one another’s breathing. You feel him get up from the bed as he walks to his bathroom, coming right back with a warm hand towel to clean you up. He gently rubs the towel and cleans you, then he throws the hand towel in the direction you know his hamper to be.

Joel grunts as he lays back down on his side to look at you, while you mimic his movements. This is the first time you’ve seen Joel with this post-fuck face he has, looking like he went to heaven and back. You hope you get to see more of him like this, just crumbling for you - He moves a piece of your hair behind your left ear and looks into your eyes.

“How’s that for ruining the moment?” you say without even thinking. You and Joel just start giggling again. ”Well, you’re two for zero right now..but you were right. You do make the memories better,” Joel is barely able to get out. After a little bit, a comforting hum from his rotating fan and both of your breathing, is all that can be heard as you stare at each other sincerely, you slowly move your body closer to Joel’s, wanting to feel him again. Joel wraps his arms around you like a delicate cocoon as you begin to slowly glide your fingers up and down his strong, yet gentle, arms. You slot your right leg between both his warm thighs, then you wrap your left leg around his hip.

The two of you are wrapped together like some kind of beautiful present you get on Christmas morning. As both of your breathing patterns and heart beats sync up, Joel kisses the top of your head and sleepily whispers, “I’m so glad you decided to stay, my love.”

You smile into his chest and hum, “Mhmm. Me too, Joel…me too.” You drift off into sleep feeling safe and loved while in Joel’s arms, Joel’s home, and Joel’s heart. Just you and Joel.

[randomshit657]

Community HeadCannons because I can

Abed

- This is canon but is Autistic

- When overwhelmed or having trouble speaking he’ll use the word “cool” for every answer. Like to mean yes, no, okay, etc. (once again borderline canon.)

- Has dyscalculia

- Had ARFID

- Bisexual and Agender

- Hate watches Supernatural and Greys Anatomy

- Hyper-empathic when it comes to inanimate objects

- Let’s Annie paint his nails

Jeff

- Has narcissistic personality disorder specifically covert narcissism

- Bisexaul

- Has ADHD

- Practices “Winger Speech’s” in the bathroom mirror

- Knows sign language

- Would most definitely listen to Dad Rock

- Views both Abed and Annie as younger siblings (just pretend all the Jeff/Annie stuff never happened. It always seemed weird to me)

- Makes sure he watches every movie Abed references (although he’ll deny that until the day he dies)

- Goes to Pride with Abed, Annie, and Troy (although they have to practically drag him the first time, but now he goes all in)

Troy

- Has ADHD literally no doubt in my mind

- Transmasc

- Gay and on the Asexual Spectrum

- Still believes in The Easter Bunny, The Tooth fairy, etc

- Loves stuffed animals but only has one very raggedy one from his childhood

- Religious Trauma

- Would try to do research on Autism, and Islam to try and understand Abed better but would keep getting distracted and get so frustrated he started crying. Annie would end up reading the stuff to him and helping him understand it.

- Loves the color purple

- Has always wanted a dog and is constantly bringing home strays

- Not really about him but when Troy gets Top Surgery Abed would drive him home and take care of him while he healed

- Listens to cheesy pop music

Annie

- I was going to say Audhd but what if she was misdiagnosed with ADHD as a kid but actually had Autism so that’s where the whole adderal addiction came from.

- Lesbian but with a lot of internalized homophobia

- Has always wanted a pet snake

- Has taken multiple self defense classes

- Is really into true crime

- Celebrates every year of sobriety one way or another (as she gets more comfortable with the group she invites them and they celebrate together)

- Loves heavy metal music and classical music

- Is surprisingly good at art

- Is the one who introduced Abed to Greys Anatomy

- Writes fanfic

Britta

- Transfem

- Exclusively listens to indie music

- Is secretly a Broadway nerd

- I honestly don’t have that much for her

Shirley

- Starts of as homophobic but as she gets to know everyone she starts to question whether her religion is entirely right about that point.

- She becomes a huge ally. Would wear a free mom hugs shirt to pride.

- Is the mom of the study group

- Her purse is pretty much magically whatever you need she has it in there (that includes stim toys, and noise canceling head phones for Abed and the other neurodivergents)

That’s it :))

[rosefilledpiano]

hi can you do leo valdez x di angelo reader who’s the eldest? and she’s starting to fall into depression aft r everything that’s happened with bianca, the prophecy and whatnot? i feel like leo would just BE THEREE for anything 🤭

Leo Valdez x di Angelo reader

Look, Leo gets what it's like to lose family. He's still healing from the guilt of accidentally killing his mom, and he was kicked out by his remaining family after her death. He might not know your exact situation, but he understands.

Leo probably just assumes that most people cope with their trauma and sadness with humor (Percy, Leo, etc.) so he makes a few jokes to cheer you up when you're down. Not that they help much.

He tries, though. He really does. The poor boy just doesn't understand people like he does machines. It's not like he can fix your problems like he can Festus, he can just support you and be your rock.

And so, he is.

It takes him a while to find out about Bianca. One day, Percy and Annabeth are talking about Nico, and he just so happens to hear that you have another sibling. One he'd never met before.

His first instinct was to ask you about it, not knowing that she was dead.

"Hey babe, why didn't you tell me you had a sister? Is she as hot as you, or is she spooky like Nico?"

Then when he sees the tears welling up in your eyes, he instantly knows something's wrong.

He immediately shuts up, pulling you into a hug and letting you cry until you've calmed down enough to talk about it.

He asks if you wanna talk about it. If you say yes, he listens the entire time. He doesn't make a single joke. But if you say no, he gets that. He knows that you're probably still processing whatever it is that happened.

But gods, is he worried. He goes to anyone he thinks was there when you, Nico, and Bianca showed up at camp, trying to just figure it out so he can help you.

Luckily, he doesn't need to look long. Annabeth and Percy are always there at camp.

When he learns about it, he definitely feels bad for saying that without looking into it, first. You're a di Angelo, for Hades' sake, of course, you're bound to have some things hidden.

The next time he sees you, he wraps his arms around you, gives your forehead a kiss (if he's tall enough, I mean. If he's not, he kisses your neck.), and tells you it's not your fault. That there was nothing you could do.

At first, you're confused. Until it just hits you like a big yellow school bus.

He knows.

And he's staying by your side every step of the way until you've healed from it.

[drpoisonoaky]

Therapy homework, fire siblings edition

Azula and Zuko have to share moments from their childhood in order to heal their relationship (therapy homework), even as they are there for each other.

In my own personal Azula’s redemption arc, Zuko is there helping her sister in the same way he got help.

So they talk about everything because they’re healing and they need to do it.

[Turtle ducks]

Zuko: I think those two are playing together.

Azula: Or they’re fighting to decide who will become the Turtle Lord.

Zuko: Don’t project your trauma onto turtle ducks. 

Azula: I was not. It’s a very real and possible situation in the turtle duck world.

Zuko: I am going to ignore that because I was wondering why you hate them.

Azula: I don’t hate them.

Zuko: You threw rocks at them every time we were here.

Azula:

Zuko: What?

Azula: That we never included me, you know? It was more like “Mom and Zuko and, oh, Azula is here”.

Azula: So I guess I want my mother to give me attention, and my child brain said “Let’s make chaos”.

Zuko: Oh… I’m sorry I…I never thought about it that way.

Azula: Don’t punish yourself Zuzu. We were children. It wasn’t your job.

Zuko: But now we can feed them together, right? No rocks, only bread.

Azula: You really are a softie. It’s annoying.

Zuko: Let’s take the bread.

[Children]

Zuko: Do you want kids?

Azula: Not really. You do?

Zuko: One. Only one.

Azula: Did I traumatize you Zuzu?

Zuko: Yes, but no. If I had a kid, I want to focus on them, giving them all of my love and support. Being the Firelord and doing that for more than one child it’s impossible.

Azula: Oh, you really think about this… I hate to say it, but you would be a great dad.

Zuko: Thanks. I appreciate it. Why don't you?

Azula: First of all, it would have to be adopted, so the kid comes with baggage. And with my baggage, I probably couldn’t be there as much as the kid needs. It’s not fair to them. I can’t put the happiness of some child behind my own selfishness.

Zuko: Cool aunt?

Azula: I’m going to spoil your child so much that they’ll be as insufferable as you are.

Zuko: Of course you will.

[Fire resistance]

Katara: Hey firebenders, I have a question. Do you really resist fire better by nature or…?

Azula: Yes and no. 

Zuko: I mean, look at my face. 

Katara: That’s why I’m asking. Why do you resist less than ‘Zula? I swear she could be on fire and not notice.

Azula: We didn’t have the same training. Mother stopped Ozai a lot for the both of us. But when she was gone…

Zuko: I was banished when he started his fire resistance methods…

Katara: but ‘Zula don’t.

Azula: I was burned every day in every place except the face. Well, you saw the marks.

Sokka: Why not the face?

Suki: Don’t be rude.

Azula: It was because I was a princess after all, and you know we had to be pretty and perfect.

Katara: And how do you get high pain tolerance from that?

Azula: I guess some nerves died along the way or maybe my brain learned to ignore that kind of pain…I don’t know. 

Azula: I hate him, but in battle it’s really useful. But yeah, don’t try it at home, kids.

Sokka: So if we try to burn your fac-

Katara: Don’t you dare, asshole.

[Crying]

Katara: Did they cry much when they were babies?

Azula: I bet Zuzu was insufferable.

Zuko: I was a pretty nice baby.

Ursa: You were nice, but you cried a lot.

Azula: See.

Ursa: And you weren't nice at all, young lady. But truth to be told, she didn’t cry.

Zuko: Lack of emotions, I see.

Azula: Not dumbass, it was for the balance between you and me.

Katara: She didn’t cry at all? What would happen if she was hungry or hurt herself?

Ursa: She just waited.

Azula: Of course I did that, crying change nothing. Plus, it wasn’t allowed.

Zuko: What do you mean?

Azula: Oh right, that was one of the points of our “educational differences”.

Ursa: Azula?

Azula:

Katara: Azula?

Azula: Fine.

Azula: Father didn’t really like the tears. He said that water isn’t something that should exist around a firebender. So I didn’t cry.

Katara: …but what if you did by any chance?

Azula, smiling sadly: He turned into my personal dryer. Goodbye tears.

Ursa: *gasp* But when you were a child he neve-

Azula: Don’t worry mother… It's not your fault.

Zuko: We should try to cry together anytime you want. As a therapy exercise, of course.

Azula: I-…thanks Zuzu.

Katara: And I hope he knows that you are around water all the time and he can’t do shit.

Azula: Of course master Katara, best master water bender of all times.

Zuko: Mom, we should go. They had started their own weird flirting thing.

Katara:

Azula: 

Katara: What are you waiting for? Keep going.

[Compliments]

Aang: I know It’s none of my business, but I was wondering why some compliments make you look awkward but on the opposite sides. *Points at Azula and Zuko*

Zuko: What do you mean?

Aang: Like Azula takes it so well when we say something nice about her bending or her looks but she’s weird when it’s not about that. And you get so weird when we compliment your looks or your bending. Like a yin and yang kinda thing.

Azula: Easy. I was praised for everything Zuko isn’t.

Aang: What do you mean?

Azula: I’m a prodigy and a princess. Being an excellent firebender and looking pretty at the same time is or was my job. Zuzu is a mediocre firebender, under Father’s eyes, and he burned half of his face. 

Zuko: And ‘Zula never was praised for being anything else. 

Aang: But that’s awful.

Azula: I didn’t need to be anything apart from that, Zuko was banished. That’s life.

Sokka: No, it’s not. Your father it’s a piece of shit.

Katara: And I hope we never see him again. No offense.

Azula and Zuko: None taken.

[Giving Affection]

Katara, fidgeting with the hem of her tunic: I don’t know if it’s awkward to ask you that.

Zuko: …Go on.

Katara: Okay, so when you get out of the fire nation. Do you flinch?

Zuko: …Did I flinch?

Katara: General affection. 

Zuko: Not really. My mother used to hug me a lot and you know Iroh. 

Katara: …and who hugged Azula?

Zuko: Mom before disappearing, I guess? Me on some special days. I don’t know if our father ever did that.

Azula: Neither of them. Did you go to Zuzu to get information about me? 

Katara: I want to know “your background” from another point of view.

Azula: I hate that that is a logical move. But to answer that, maybe Ty Lee was the only one. And you know Mai.

Zuko: Didn’t Mom hug you?

Azula: Do you remember that little detail that mother hated me? 

Zuko: She didn’t ha-

Azula: Don’t. Please. We already passed that point.

Katara: So it’s decided.

Azula: What?

Katara: I’m now your personal koala, whether you want it or not. Come here.

Azula: But you do more things…

Zuko: And that’s my cue to get out of here.

[Education]

Aang: Wait, really, you know it all?

Azula: Of course, it was part of my education. I need to know history, especially anything related to war, but knowledge is knowledge.

Aang: But Zuko didn’t know anything about the Air Nomads' history.

Azula: We didn’t have the same education.

Zuko: Basically because Azula is a nerd.

Azula: Excuse me.

Zuko: After you did your homework, you started to read about everything, especially history. That’s why.

Aang: So she's more prepared than you.

Azula: I am. While Zuzu cried, I trained or focused on my studies. Time is gold in war.

Katara: You didn’t rest?

Azula: Not really, but sometimes I needed to rest in order to continue. 

Zuko: No you don’t. You can’t count that as resting. 

Aang: What, why?

Zuko: It’s not my call. Sorry. But you should explain it ‘Zula.

Katara: Azula?

Azula: What Zuzu means is that the “rest days” weren’t really optional.

Aang: Oh, they force you to rest?

Azula: Not exactly…I have to rest because I couldn’t move. Training wasn’t always…educational.

Zuko: Call it what it was. That shitty excuse of man made us fight against him and beat us until we faint.

Aang: Spirits.

Zuko: And I guess me being gone didn’t make him less reckless…

Azula: Quite the opposite…that’s why learning was fun. 

Azula: But anyways Zuzu you should learn that so from now on I’m going to teach you history, physics and math. Be aware.

Zuko: Only if we take rest days. Real ones.

Azula: Don’t be lazy.

[Wake up time]

Katara: I can’t beat Azula.

Sokka: But you did remember…Oh, spirits, don’t tell me is a dirty-

Katara: NO. 

Katara: Also not in that way, dummy. I can’t get up earlier than her. It's like every time I wake up early and say “Wow, today I really got up early” she’s already awake and meditating or something. 

Ty lee: I tried for a week. Then I got tired.

Mai: It’s a losing battle. You can’t beat them.

Katara: Wait, does Zuko also wake up early?

Mai: Every day, like if he makes the sun or something.

Azula, arriving from sparring with Zuko: Talking behind my back isn’t new, but still hurts a little. 

Zuko: Same.

Katara: Why do you wake up so early? Both of you.

Azula, raising an eyebrow: Why do you ask?

Zuko: Why do you wake up so late? 

Katara: Don’t answer a question with a question. Both of you don’t know the concept of oversleeping or even slacking. Why?

Zuko: What are you ta-…Oh. 

Zuko: Lala, do you remember the “If you wake up after the sun…

Azula: …how do you pretend to use his flames”. 

Katara: Oh no.

Mai:

Ty lee: That jerk.

Zuko: So we have to stop.

Azula: I’m going to knock myself out every morning, I swear. 

Zuko: Same.

Katara: Or instead of me waking up next to my unconscious girlfriend, you could try not getting out of bed.

Zuko: You mean stay in bed until the sun is up so we can train later?

Katara: I mean yeah. At least until you wake up like a regular human being.

Sokka: But that would imply they are regular human beings and we-AH STOP.

Azula, shooting little lightning at him: Sorry what?

Zuko, burning his butt: We are having difficulties hearing you.

Sokka: KATARA HELP YOU BROTHER.

Katara, ignoring Sokka and talking to Mai and Ty lee: So you two also like to wake up late?

Sokka: KATARA.

Ty lee: Yes, but it doesn’t fit the Kyoshi Warriors’ lifestyle. And that makes Suki angry with me, a lot.

[the-thimble]

I am writing here to process through some tough things. I feel pretty alone in all of it, so I've come here to write things out. No pressure to read, just stream of consciousness thoughts.

Tw: ab*se, addiction, mental illness, etc.

The more I discover about my past, the angrier I have become.

I am trying to let things go... I have been for a while now. And not in a way that I just forget everything, but in a way that I can process life from a healed perspective so I can stop the cycle of abuse, neglect, DV, etc.

My dad is on trial (again) and the fact that he is almost definitely a paranoid schizophrenic is now something court psychiatrists are seeing. His last large court problem ended with him in a mental institution because his actions (armed assault of a child) were found to have been caused by "criminal insanity." For years he had me convinced that he somehow tricked everyone, but as an adult, I now understand that the court won't grant you insanity unless there is overwhelming evidence showing that is the case.

For years, my immediate family (mom/gran/etc.) AND my distant family (his brothers and sisters) have treated me like I am being dramatic. Have assessed the situation as something I can easily just move on from... but the more I understand what that man really did to my brain growing up (the lasting impact of his unchecked mental illness and addiction), the more I see the consequences of his actions in my day-to-day life, the more I know they're addressing me with denial. They've put the burden of processing everything on my shoulders so they don't have to engage with subjects as uncomfortable as this.

I said something recently that made it click for a few of them, and I am grateful I did. I said, "things happened to me as a child that you couldn't/wouldn't concionably explain to a child you're close to." I drove home, "Things were done to me as a child you couldn't explain to the children around you without traumatizing them." And they seemed to finally start to understand...

From a very young age, he was allowed access to me alone for sometimes weeks at a time. As a child, he spent hours talking at me, mixing up my reality so he could be painted in the best light. I would tell him, "but I SAW what you did, I was there!" And he would spend hours (days sometimes) trying to force me to change my memories of him. He would tell me every other adult in my life was brainwashing me... that what I remembered was placed there by them in the first place. That what I saw, heard, felt, and KNEW because I was there was just all wrong. (This pattern led to me not being able to trust my own intuition, which followed me into every aspect of my life moving forward)

He also had money, access to a lot of prescription (and other) drugs, and was very charming so people would inherently believe him. My siblings endured similar, but by the time they were alive (we have large gaps between each of us in age), the government had already entered the picture and limited what he was capable of. They also had siblings and responsible adults around them to help teather them to reality. When it happened to me, I was alone with him. No one had stepped in yet, so there was no monitoring of the situation. It was just me. For example, when I was only 8 years old, he described to me in detail how he was sexually assaulted at the age I was then by an older woman... we were alone at night on a 3.5 hour drive. This is a cliffnote example of a thousand other instances where I was used as a young girl for him to process terrible trauma. I still couldn't tell you what his intentions were with telling me those things... nevertheless, I was in no way mentally capable of either helping him process, or even being able to hear that without it traumatizing me.

I could go on and on here about everything, but I won't, I'm seeking a therapist to help me dig through it all.

But this most current trial he's involved with? It took the entire court (his lawyer included) saying he has these issues before anyone would ever believe me. They didn't believe me the first time around. They thought it was a fluke the 1st time... so, for me, it has taken 29 years for anyone to believe me.

To go through all of that when no one believes you? To beg for help that will never come because YOU'VE been painted as the crazy one? It broke me. It broke my brain. It destroyed me in a way that I am feeling (at the moment) like I can't come back from. It's not like I can ask my peers for advice because it is a trauma just to hear what happened. I couldn't concionably sit them with the reality I've been facing. Plus, when every "trusted" adult around you gaslights you and minimizes (for their own comfort, not yours), you begin to think that you're actually insane... you isolate because if they didn't believe you, who would? I am happy that my dad might finally get treatment (not just for us, but for him. I know existing inside his head must be absolute torture), but I am 29 years old. I have waited so long with no answers that I don't know how salvageable I am anymore as a functional person no matter how hard I fought to keep my head above water. I feel as if there is no peace I could possibly find now. Since no one believed me, my brain has twisted and contorted into something that is very hard to live with and I fear that I might never be okay again, even now when answers and justice are finally coming.

I live every day with OCD, I isolate because I never think anyone will understand/believe me... my own health has tanked because my nerves have been literally fried to the point that I started having seizures. The physical damage the abuse did is present for me every day of my life, and I don't feel like it is worth trying so much anymore. They figured it out too late... I really did try to hang on. I wish I had known so much earlier what allowing myself to exist in those circumstances was doing to me physically, not just mentally. It broke me. It really really did. And now I'm expected to just move on and have as normal of a life as everyone else? I'm going to try, but I have been diminished greatly in the process of getting here. I prayed the same prayer so often since I was little, "Lord, please let me stay kind. Please don't let my heart change because of all of this. Please let me get through so I can help others because I will believe them." But the longer everyone around me took to help, the more I felt like my prayers were hitting the ceiling and falling back down onto my lap.. I still want to be kind. I still want to be able to help others. I think I just feel too far gone at this point. I don't feel like anyone understands me or would willingly have the have the patience to get me to where I need to go. I know "no one saves you," and I have never expected that, but I just need people who believe me. I need people who don't just look at me like I have 3 heads when I explain bits of what happened to me. I need to know that I could have a decent life because right now, I do not feel as if it is possible for me.

I don't know... I wish I could end this by saying I know what I need to do to get better, but at the moment, I really don't know. I have gotten my drinking under control, I have backed off on any drugs (I smoke weed sometimes still to stop the regular night-terrors and a bit for pain, but I have gotten that usage down to about 1/3 of a joint every couple days). I have tried to integrate continually back into community... and I will keep trying. I think perhaps this most recent trial, finally being shown that I wasn't crazy, is dredging up a lot for me. It's not as comforting as I thought it would be because it just feels like all the damage has already been done.

If you made it this far into what i wrote, Idk.. ty? Lol. if anyone has any advice/YouTube essays/etc. I am open to it. If you have any advice as to what kind of therapy you think might work best for me, I would gladly accept any and all advice on the matter. I will keep trying... I just pray wholeheartedly that it is not too late for me as a person to heal.

[ask-sonicdragonfan]

(Ruin) comet and or shooting star

Dimension- R6 (his original dimension became to hostile so he now lives in dimension R6)

Age- unknown

Gender- trans/ nonbinary (goes by he/him but doesn’t mind being called mom from those closest to him. He’s ok with being called a she/her but that’s only if it’s an accident)

Love interest- solar

Language-(he can adjust his language settings these are just the main languages he speaks) British/english and French

Pet- British shorthair cat

Phobia- fire

Siblings- Venus and Neptune (Both deceased)

Creator- Frank (good died in a fire while trying to save his employees and his animatronics sadly ruin was the only animatronic survivor along with the employees) , Nigel (evil injected ruin with the afton virus only to get killed by ruin and done other nasty things to him )

Favorite food/drink- ramen straight from Japan of all flavors and styles except the super spicy ones, tea of different flavors sometimes coffee but only the cold ones.

Original home location- unlike other fazebear locations that take place in the USA his was in Britain.

Favorite anime- gloomy the bear and Bananya , (action packed favorite) fairy tale, (slice of life) polar bear cafe

Favorite animal- cats and seahorses

Alegment- neutral

Friends- KC , bloodmoon, golden Freddy, sun and moon (trying to earn the friendship)

Dimension R6 moon got rid of ruins afton virus

Dimension R6 sun and moon both use magic moon using alchemy because he’s the tech and science guy while sun uses fire, earth, and healing

Ruin was targeted by Nigel after his creators death

Ruin gets panic attacks nobody taught him how to heal from his trauma and this result is him having self destructive coping mechanisms such as cutting of his wrist and panicking until he passes out.

Ruin left his dimension after killing Nigel he couldn’t handle being in his home dimension anymore.

Ruin wants to find out if his sun and moon are alive in himself but he’s so scared of finding out if they are or not that he gives himself nightmares.

Ruin didn’t like how another ruin destroyed other dimensions in the fashion that he did he believes that there are other methods but he does emphasize with that ruin.

While ruin does a lot of tech he does like to help sun at the daycare as well.

Ruin is trying to earn sun and moon trust after what the last ruin did but it’s not an easy process moon kinda bully’s him and sun kinda ignore him but they do appreciate his help and company. And they try to help ruin as well but they’re bond is not perfect it’s more of I’m trying to get to know you but I don’t know how trust you.

Dimension R6 Killcode, bloodmoon and eclipse are alive and they live in one of moons bunkers away from the pizzaplex. Killcode works at the soup kitchen, bloodmoon is killing evil people and rats, eclipse just hides away from the family never talking or interacting with anyone.

Dazzle is adopted by sun and dispite her small size she is aware of what goes on in the family.

Jack, lunar and earth don’t exist in this dimension and neither does the astrals so the enemies they face are largely magical in nature

Ruin doesn’t know why but bloodmoon started calling him mom Killcode thinks it’s due to ruins daycare program but it’s largely up to debate

While ruin is male he does have some female traits and personality he still refers to himself as he/him.

Ruin does have a typical male voice but his voice does get softer when he’s nervous or anxious. And he does use British slang and phrases.

Ruin gets flustered easily

While ruin might not seem tough but when he is he’s not someone who you want to meet in a dark alley he’s highly skilled at using weapons and since he’s a daycare attendant model he’s able to get himself out of a difficult situation.

Ruins cheek markings are inspired by either koi fish or from the Japanese lion dog.

Ruins original family was killed in a fire and in that fire sun and moon merged into ruin.

Ruin’s body color is pastel red right face and body and left arm , mint green left face and body and right arm, pastel yellow rays and eyes, sky blue for cheek swirls eyebrows and buttons on his chest

Ruin can bare children and make love under the sheets. Ruin ask for these features and his good creator gave it to him after he made sure ruin really wanted it as those requests are permanent and can’t be undone and ruin got them.

Ruin does miss his original family particularly his brother and sister often regretting about not being able to saving them.

Ruin might have a child with solar but I’m holding off on that for now 😉

Ruin doesn’t like the glamrocks both from his original and new family even though his new family glamrocks are much nicer. Ruin doesn’t like taking about the glamrocks.

Ruin has a fear of dogs the only ones he can tolerate is service dogs and golden retrievers

Ruin has a mild allergy to lychee fruit he can still eat and drink it he can’t have it all the time.

Ruin’s favorite subject is food science he experiments on the fazebear product to come up with ways to make them edible, delicious and fun on his free time of course.

[hakodate-division]

"Peace of mind is the meaning of life."

Timeline

Age 0:

He is born to Malina and Resak Anchikar to an Ainu tribe on the outskirts of Hakodate.

Age 7:

He starts learning the in and outs of Ainu life, such as their rituals and their religion.

Age 12:

He asks his father if he can join the hunters in the forest.

His father says he can join if he manages to beat him in a one-on-one fight.

He starts training under his father in martial arts.

He frequently disappoints his father due to being impatient.

Age 13:

He starts to learn the meaning of patience and being calm.

Though he loses the fight, he manages to finally land a blow on his father, surprising him.

Within a few months, he finally manages to subdue his father, earning both his father's respect and envy.

Honoring his son's request, he allows Kotan to learn how to hunt.

Though he was at first enthused, he finds it hard to kill another living creature.

His mother educates him on the importance of living creatures and how we must take and give back to the earth.

He gathers his courage and finally manages to kill a small deer for his clan, though he isn't allowed to skin it.

Age 14:

Within a year's time, he becomes an established hunter and tribesman.

He is finally allowed to skin an animal. It is a grotesque task, but he sees it through to the end.

As per the tribe's rules, he is now officially an adult.

Age 15:

He starts high school.

His way of life and culture intrigues many people, yet weirds just as many out.

Age 16:

He is made an elder sibling after his parents have his younger sister, Taupek Anchikar.

Age 17:

His parents have their third and last child, another girl, Suluk Anchikar.

Age 18:

He graduates high school.

He foregoes going to university, choosing to remain with his tribe.

His mom comes down with a sudden sickness. It's revealed she has cancer.

Age 19:

He fights off a pair of poachers who were planning to kill an injured wolf for sport.

He takes the wolf and heals it, adopting it as a pet. He names it "Horokeu".

Age 22:

He finds a wounded hawk whilst traveling through the mountains.

He brings it back to full health and adopts it. He names it "Cikap".

Age 23:

He meets and befriends Ted Bridges, a friend of the tribe.

His mom passes away due to cancer. There is much grief throughout the clan.

Age 24:

His father begins training Kotan to take over as chieftain when he retires. He is strict in his training.

Age 25:

Before he could finish Kotan's training, his father passes away due to illness.

Kotan is named the new chief of the tribe.

He meets and becomes acquainted with Olympic snowboarder, Kokomi Morozov.

Age 26:

Present.

He is forced by Chuohku to enter the D.R.B., lest he and his people lose their land.

He forms the Hakodate Division rap battle team, Kuma no ie, alongside Ted Bridges and Kokomi Morozov.

Schedule

12 a.m. - 6 a.m.: Asleep

6 a.m. - 7:30 a.m.: Wakes younger sisters up and freshens up

7:30 a.m. - 8 a.m.: Walks younger sisters to elementary school

8 a.m. - 8:30 a.m.: Heads back to the village

8:30 a.m. - 12 p.m.: Performs duties as chieftain

12 p.m. - 1 p.m.: Has lunch

1 p.m. - 2:30 p.m.: Goes hunting or fishing with hunters

2:30 p.m. - 3:30 p.m.: Prepares animals for a meal later on

3:30 p.m. - 4 p.m.: Picks sisters up from school

4 p.m. - 4:30 p.m.: Returns to village with sisters

4:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m.: Continues duties as chieftain

5:30 p.m. - 7 p.m.: Helps prepare dinner

7 p.m. - 8 p.m.: Eats dinner with friends and family

8 p.m. - 9 p.m.: Oversees village ritual

9 p.m. - 10 p.m.: Patrols village

10 p.m. - 11 p.m.: Free time

11 p.m. - 12 a.m.: Asleep

Character Hashtags

Regular Hashtags

#Chief of the Ainu

#Simple, yet good life

#Continue to thrive despite the times

Trauma Hashtags

#Too heavy a burden

#May lose the land we've gained

#Will we just be swept aside?

Other Info

Hobby: Fishing & Hunting

Weakness: Doesn't recognize his own strength

Trauma: "This burden I carry... it is too heavy."

Twitter: @Ainuchieftain

Drinks: Occasionally

Smokes: No

Special Skill: "I am a skilled hunter and fisherman. Plus, I'm skilled at Ainu rituals."

Intro Quote: "If you are a friend, I bid you welcome. If you are a foe, our weapons await."

Trauma Quote: "Father... why did you have to die? You've left me with this unimaginable weight... and I will surely crumble under it!"

Ending Quote: "The Ainu will not die. Our legacy will continue!"

[tentakilly]

So I’m struggling to write the lore post in a serious way so I’m just gonna shit post it

Enjoy your stay it’s gonna be a ride!(CW for several things).

So a long time ago a man made a deal with a fairy. If the fairy protected the family they wouldn’t fight each other any more. If they did end up fighting each other they would give up there last name and the first born of the next generation would have to marry a fairy. Sounds reasonable right? Ya it was pretty reasonable but at the start of ww2 one of his descendants(Sara, 11) tried to kill her sister(Evelyn, 13) and failed miserably and died. Evelyn ended up getting married to a man named Adam. They were happy until Adam cheated on Evelyn and had a son named Michael who Evelyn took in out of spite and pity (birth mom died). You think that would be the end of it right? WRONG!! TURNS OUT THAT SARA IS A FUCKIN LIER AND KILLED EVELYN AND TOOK HER PLACE BUT SHE HAD BEEN LIEING TO HERSELF FOR SO LONG SHE FORGOT SHE WAS SARA! Anyways Adam and “Evelyn” had one kid together(Jacklyn) and then “Evelyn” fucked another guy and had the twins(TJ and Clair). Years pass and Michael was left to take care of his siblings. While Adam and “Evelyn” worked at the foundation. The difference became that “Evelyn” cared for her children and Adam couldn’t care less. “Sara” actually began haunting “Evelyn” cause that bitch killed her and then took her place. I’d be mad to. The kids grew up and shit and are all anomalous(Michael can control light but he’s albino so he can’t see, Jackall can talk to the dead, TJ can heal wounds at the cost of his own body and Clair can predict the future but she can’t tell anyone it). At 15 Michael wandered into the nearby woods and met a guy his age. The guy told Michael that they shouldn’t share there names and they promised each other to meet there every Friday. Quickly Mikey and the guy fell in love and eventually the guy told him that he was a fairy. When he was 16 Michael made the mistake of going into the woods when Adam was home and so when Adam saw Michael on his little date he beat the living shit out of him and only stoped when the fairy killed him. Scared this might happen again the pair exchanged names(got married) in secret. “Michael” and “Violet” got married and there very happy together and shit don’t think for a second I’m going to bury my gays. So like “Michael” joins the foundations MTF/military to try and get away from what was supposed to be his home as soon as he turns 17 and leave Jackall(12) to take care of the twins(7). At the same time “Evelyn” has a mental brake down because “Sara” finally confronted her and now “Evelyn” realizes she’s Sara and then kills herself leaving the family with no parent unit and now the real trauma can begin. So like the twins are now freshly 16(yes Mikey and his husband showed up those are his siblings) and TJ gets caught helping another dude by a foundation operative and gets contained(scp-590). At the same time Jackall gets a job as a junior researcher at the foundation and both she and “Michael” try to get the foundation to release there younger brother. As “Michael” rises up the ranks(pretty quickly) to try and get TJ out of containment he goes home to take a brake and goes up the attic and just looks around and finds an amulet. It’s made of gold and a red gemstone(scp-963). He drops is a couple times on his way down and gives it to the foundation as a joke because it won’t brake. It became a contest to see if you could brake it and soon as possible and then they realized “Oh shit we can’t brake this bitch” and kept trying to find way to brake it(in a science way this time) and it eventually ends up in the hands of Jackall. Jackall was in charge of transporting the amulet to a different researcher and took it out of its lil bag because why the fuck not. Then boom a breach happens and Jackall fuckin dies. Like damn imagine being “Michael” in this situation, you give an amulet to the foundation as a joke and then your sister dies like damn. Like not even 2 days later a d-boi picks up the amulet and lo and behold he gets possessed by the amulet(this is the first and only time that the possession is is instant). I’m gonna reblog this and keep going.

[ask-the-kitty-crew]

Muse list: updated! Part 2!

Art by @minusgangtime

Edit done by me

Name: temp

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: temp was a plushie brought to life,at first he was bitter and hateful to everyone as a defensive measure,he was turned back into a plushie as punishment for his aggressive attitude. However he was still conscious,this lead to him witnessing a murderous headgehog murdering all his siblings,the hedgehog even tore up his plushie form,resulting in his scars,though his family was brought back,his trauma remained,he was then brought back to his fleshy self,now shy and sheltered. And even worse,thanks to his blood/stuffing absorbing sonic.exes magic particles,he gained sonic.exes powers. He’s a kind guy and slightly shy,though he’s trying to regain his confidence,he’s very devoted to his family and will protect them no matter what,trying to make up for his attitude in the past.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: sunny

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: sunny was once a plushie that was given new life,sunny is a optimistic guy who likes to look on the bright side of things,though when things do get tough he does take things seriously. He’s one of the more calmer cats who isn’t too crazy when they play around,he’s also so,done to keep someone grounded in logic when they start acting illogically. Sunnys favorite time of the year is a tie between spring and summer,cause he loves the sensation of the sun on his furr or skin,it’s like he’s solar powered as it gives him energy.

Art by @minusgangtime

Edit done by me

Name: simba

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: simba is a plushie brought to life,and is the polar opposite of sunny,he was the very definition of pride,he believed he was as strong as a lion and that he could take on anyone,despite always being practically *****slapped,he did care about his family and wanted to protect him,however when he was possessed by a evil demigod taking advantage of his pride,his confidence completely broke. He stopped putting himself high up on a pedestal and became humbled,and this change is further shone by the scar he acquired when he was possessed.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: herb

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: herb is a plushie brought to life,herb loves collecting,observing,and smelling flowers,ANY kind of flowers,she’s kind and gentle,though she has high insecurities about her looks,she likes to look pretty,so she’s desperate to look pretty,bathing herself frequently and fixing her hair or furr when messy,often fidgeting with it when nervous.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: seasalt

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: seasalt is a plushie brought to life,and isn’t your typical cat,she LOVES water, she’ll take any chance to swim,in a ocean,lake,pool,bathtub,even a fish tank! She’s very energetic and strong,she’s also quite cheery sometimes acting like a coach to cheer people up,though she can be a bit sensitive when people bully her.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: lavender

Age: 18 (human years)

Bio: a plushie brought to life,lavender is calm and gentle,she prefers to sit on the side and watch the other cats playing from afar,as she dosent feel like getting into crowds or rough playing,however,after caspers death,she began to study everything medical related,that was she could help heal the injured so the family never deals with this kind of tragedy again. While lavender is normally calm,when she’s taken away from her family or put into a completely new environment,her emotions start to show as her emotions become too overwhelming for her,and usually needs her mom or siblings to help calm her down.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: snow

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: a plushie brought to life,snow is pretty mellow and behaves like a normal typical cat for most of the year,however when winter comes around,he suddenly becomes a outdoor and energetic cat,this is cause of his love for the snow,anything related to winter he is passionate for,whether that’s hearing winter themed stories,doing winter activities or playing in the snow,it always brings him joy,despite that though normally,snow is just a chill dude and even when bored for most of the year,dosent try to be to destructive.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: blaze

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: a plushie brought to life,despite thier similar appearances,blaze and lavender are completely opposite,she’s energetic,competitive and likes to jump into everything,despite her kinda trolling tendencies,she DEEPLY loves her family,to the point where she’ll jump in to aggressively defend them from either verbal or physical harm.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: nightfall

Age: 18 (in human years)

Bio: a plushie brought to life,nightfall is the type of cat to sleep through the entire day,and to stay awake during the night,this is cause he loves the night,his favorite pass time is to go on midnight walls with Shelby to hear the owls,crickets and see the stars and the moon,he is usually calm and pretty chill and mellow,but when you let him info dump on things about space or the night,he becomes quite energetic.

Art by @minusgangtime

Name: galaxy

Age: 18 (in human years.)

Bio: a plushie brought to life,galaxy is described as the “perfect” cat by society,and they’re not wrong to think that,galaxy is a very colorful cat,who’s the only one who can speak into fluent English and meows,she’s deeply loved by society,however it becomes to much for galaxy sometimes,and when people insult her siblings and compare them to her,it really makes her upset,it often makes her wish she was just a normal cat so she wouldn’t be put on a pedestal. Galaxy is sweet,kind and passionate for things she loved,especially her siblings,and whenever she gets overwhelming happy,sad,angry and other things,she cries.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw verbal abuse

not to sound like a redditer but i need some help figuring out if i'm an asshole? or if i'd be an asshole, if i acted on my feelings, i suppose. (you can call me raine)

my dad was verbally abusive to me and several of my siblings on/off for awhile. over a year. and it was something he'd been building toward for awhile. he'd been doing some of the verbally abusive shit to me on/off for a couple years, but it was small enough incidents i didn't really put it together as anything more than him just...being him bc both my parents would brush it off as it just being part of who he was and it being "a joke" or me "provoking" him. but then it got bad. like really bad. it was constant and very very focused in on me. he did it to other siblings as well but mostly me and it was every time he saw me, he would have something to say and it didn't matter who was in the room-my mom would be in the room and say jackshit. the most consequences he ever got for it was my mom lightly saying "be nice" or me telling him to mind his business and leave me alone before i stormed off.

but then it stopped. mostly. that's mostly bc i started cutting him off but the thing is, awhile later, after he stopped, he just started pretending nothing happened. like we were friends again. and that fucked me up a lot-like we used to be really close, he was like my hero growing up, and i was just so fucking confused i let him pretend. he got that spot back in my life. but now that im starting to actually process what he did to me...i don't want him around me. i want him to fuck off. i don't want him pretending he did nothing to me! im still so pissed and so hurt over what he did and the fact he just wants to pretend he never fucking did it and not apologize after all he did. and he could do it again, just as easy, and no one would do anything! my mom would STILL do jackshit and im pissed at her too!

i just. i feel like bc they're both pretending nothing happened i should too. and that it would be mean of me to draw back and put space between us when technically, its been awhile since he was actually mean to me. like, shouldn't i just forgive and forget at this point instead of rehashing old bullshit? i dunno. so. yeah. help? i'd really appreciate ANY thoughts on this, cause, seriously, i'm lost. i just feel like im such an ass being upset when my mom and dad have moved on but. i dunno. he was my hero and he fucking tore me to shreds. and now he's living the same life he was before and i still feel like i'm broken. how am i just supposed to ignore that?

Hi Raine,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. It's important to remember that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to have complex emotions about the situation.

Please know that your feelings are valid, and it is okay if you don't want to be around him anymore. It's okay to create some distance and establish boundaries. This doesn't mean you have to completely cut him out of your life, but setting limits and protecting yourself from further harm is important. Just because he's seemingly moved on from his behavior doesn't mean you have to. You deserve to have your pain acknowledged. You are NTA and you don't have to forgive him.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can provide a safe space for you to explore your emotions, process the trauma, and help you navigate your relationships. They can also assist you in developing healthy coping strategies and guide you through the healing process.

Please know that healing is a process done at your own pace. Just because others may appear to have moved on doesn't mean you have to follow the same timeline. It's crucial to listen to your own needs, even if it means creating some distance from your dad and seeking support.

I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[purpleturtle9000]

*skitters in through a hole in your ceiling*

Hi

So. The oranges. How much emotional damage are we lookin at, if any? Youngest siblings who have watched their older siblings die/almost die club? Is there guilt for not sacrificing sooner or does old Mikey have the self awareness to not fall into that? Are they cooking buddies do they swap recipes who helps them with their nightmares? Do they compare scars? Is there art done to cover/reclaim that pain?

Are there pranks involving floating

Until next time

*skitters back out the ceiling hole and patches it on my way out* 👍

🍊🧡🍊

Angelo is perhaps weirdly well-adjusted to everything that happened to him in the future. It affected him, of course it did, but he had the temperament and knowledge to deal with it a little better than the rest of his family. (He's not actually doing quite as well as he thinks he is, but like, he's ten out of ten compared to Leonardo.)

He doesn't feel guilty for the last minute self-sacrifice. Seven years after the apocalypse started, they tried the same plan as in the movie, and Angelo died. The rest of the family was barely able to bring him back, and his mystic powers hadn't done shit toward making a portal, so they called off the whole idea. None of them could bear to make the call, especially when it likely wouldn't work.

There's also the fact that going back to the past was going to reset the whole future. The more intel they could take back, and the better-trained that person would be, the more likely their chances of success. Besides, if it worked, all the suffering and death technically would have never happened, so he technically would have nothing to blame himself for.

He kind of still does, though. He'd always trained toward the idea of trying the time gate again, they just hadn't been sure if he could pull it off until it was time to try it out. Sometimes he wishes he tried earlier, if only so he didn't have quite so many memories of his loved ones dying, but at least they're all still alive in the past/present.

Little Mikey, on the other hand, has an absolute damn boatload of nearly-watched-my-brother-die trauma. He heard the wrist-comm recording of what happened in the prison dimension (he wasn't supposed to) and blames himself for every injury Leo got while Mikey was trying to open a portal to him. He could have had stronger powers, he could have been faster, he could have done something else-

Hearing Angelo's account of the future, what with the first attempt at the time gate and all, helps ease his guilt a little. But it's not like Leo's prison dimension injuries can be unwritten with a time gate, like all the drama from the future. There's not as much help there that Angelo can offer, besides being a listening ear, though that does help quite a bit.

They are cooking buddies absolutely! Angelo knows a thousand and one tricks for outdoor cooking and has April's mom's much-coveted brownie recipe. He won't share it, but he will let Mikey help stir things once all the ingredients are in a bowl. Mikey keeps guessing at what's in there, much to Angelo's amusement. And Angelo knows a bunch of new secrets about greenhouses and hdyroponics that endears him to both Mikey and Donnie (botany and tech nerd that he is).

Angelo also knows the best teas for soothing stressed-out turtles, which helps with everyone. The smell always wakes him up, so he goes looking to see what's happening whenever it's in play. He and Mikey have a lot of late-night conversations. Sometimes it's about serious stuff, sometimes it's about the Lou Jitsu fanfic that Angelo kept writing all through the apocalypse.

There's not a lot of scar comparison, because Angelo doesn't want to freak Mikey out by showing him everything that happened. Y'all've seen that post about Mikey missing a part of his shell in one frame? Angelo's not gonna show a fifteen-year-old kid that, doesn't want to freak him out.

Besides, his shell has healed, and Mikey's hands haven't quite. Angelo is actually quite helpful there! He's the only turtle with strong enough mystic powers to use them to heal, but it requires a use of his hands that still causes some pain for Mikey. Angelo can do it just fine, and add a bit of warmth to help soothe any lingering aches.

Angelo doesn't compare a lot of his art therapy, either, cause uh. There's a lot of blood in some of them and he doesn't think he should really show a fifteen-year-old that either. But not all of it is vent art! And he shows Mikey everything he draws that's a little less gory, cause there were still beautiful moments in the apoclaypse, and he's glad to have someone to share it with.

Mikey shows Angelo absolutely everything he makes an attempt at, and Angelo encourages all of it. And provides some art tips! Cause he's had twenty more years to hone his art skills so there's quite a bit that he can pass on.

There are so many pranks involving floating. Angelo teaches Mikey how to make his cape float behind him even when there's no wind, and how to open doors ahead of him. Mikey calls it their Jedi mind tricks and does the hand wave every time. (He also tries to mind-trick his way out of the chore list sometimes, which Raph never falls for). It's their favourite thing to do and they use Leonardo whenever they need to work on floating people/objects. He's patient about it and only whines a moderate amount when they drop him (Angelo does it on purpose, Mikey doesn't).

Thanks for patching the ceiling hole, I've been saying I need to get to that for weeks now!

[lovesickangelz6137]

Ice Packs Dont Help an Open Gash

as i sit here and read messages from my mom about what's going on in her marriage, i feel i have no choice but to sit here and think how things get this bad. my mom had finally found a man who treated her with love, kindness, and compassion, who made an effort to understand her, who made an effort to love her and i am watching as she suffers with the idea that it might not work out once more. she saw his efforts, she knew he loved her, she saw these things and felt them everyday. but now, she cant see them, nor can she feel them. she can feel herself becoming hateful and malicious as she watches my stepdad make hurtful mistakes that my dad once did.

my stepdad, i love him dearly. he has been with my mom for over a decade now, their 10 year marriage anniversary is august of next year. they started dating several years before that. they have been together since i was 11, i am turning 26 this year. he has loved me as my own dad failed to do for most of my life, he stepped into that spot and filled that void, i told him that on fathers day a few years ago. i even cried when he left me a heartfelt note on my 18th birthday, a simple "happy 18th, you're old as hell, huh? proud of you, kid.", written on the whiteboard in the kitchen. He worked that day and wouldnt see me til late in the evening, but he wanted me to know he cared as soon as i woke up. he was never one to be sappy or emotional, we always made playful jabs at eachother, so this meant something to me.

he has two kids, both from a previous marriage. his ex wife was awful and had deliberately kept his children away as much as possible just to hurt him, all because he divorced her after she cheated. it started as reducing visitation, but it developed into her moving out of state and then out of the country. my stepdad never got to see the young girls he loved and cherished so much. all of us had only see both girls roughly 3 times in the past 4 years.

when the youngest came for visitation after they had moved back in the country after a few years in Germany, he was pretty happy. he was even happier when she asked to live with him, my mom, and my younger sibling (blood sibling, same mom and dad). i supported this idea, E (thats what we'll call her for now) had facetimed me on visitation, she opened up about the trauma she faced at the hands of her mother and older siblings. Even B (my stepdads oldest kid) made deliberate attempts to bully her and bring her down. E is autistic, just like me. she's 16 and she has already discovered that she was a deliberate target of the abuse. i felt that deep within me, i also was the main deliberate target of my father and older sister's (half sister, we share a dad) abuse. i was happy to help her escape and heal.

but now i am sitting here as my mom tells me that E does a lot of hurtful things and refuses to acknowledge or apologize. she often times harms herself in several ways to get her dad's attention, she acts out and is never reprimanded. her dad defends her, he says "she's a kid who is hurting, she just has things to work through." and my mom would grit her teeth and take it. its deteriorating their marriage. he does this because he is her dad, he loves her, he wants to help her but he is unsure how. he doesnt reprimand her because he feels her actions are his punishment, he feels that he failed her. he thinks he is the only one facing this punishment.... but he's not.

my mom cant reason with herself, she cant see that E is just a kid, a traumatized kid who cant see that her actions are doing more damage than she intends. a kid who cant see that this revenge she is deliberately seeking wont help her. all she can see is my dad defend my older sister as she brings me (4 years old) down to a place of hating myself, a place of darkness and loneliness. a place no child should be.

i've been there. i still struggle. but here is my message for you all that struggle as well, especially teenagers who are still in those trenches.

think of trauma as a physical wound. not a papercut or rugburn or minor scrape, though. a gaping gash. its deep, it hurts (especially when you move), and it bleeds profusely. for obvious reasons, you need to tend to this wound, lest you bleed out and all life is drained from you.

they always say "revenge is best served cold". lets run with that for a moment. revenge is an ice pack. In the moment, when you press it on the wound it feels nice, its soothing even. but over time, it doesnt. first off, you still have a profusely bleeding open wound that hurts when you so much as breathe. it also feels like your blood is just running cold and you are also just losing more of it. in the end, it actually causes more pain and suffering, it prolongs it. so, lets go through the motions of actually tending to this wound.

first, apply pressure. this is where we need to stop the bleeding as much as we can. in trauma, this involves removing yourself from the immediate sutuation, walking away. this gives you time to sit and think on the events that just happened and work through the initial shock of it all. find a safe space and recollect.

next, examine the wound. you wanna search to make sure no leftover pieces of the weapon are still in there. the weapon, is the vulnerability or leverage that your attacker (traumatizer) used against you. this step sucks, it involves recounting the events of the attack (trauma) and picking out the pieces left behind. what you do with the pieces is up to you, keep them as a trophy or discard them and find your own peace.

then, clean the wound. this part sucks as well, but not as much. usually, you use like wound wash or something, but we work with what we have in a pinch. in this sense, the wound wash is communicating your hurt to those who hurt you. let them know that what they did really fucking hurt. now, people who arent you cannot be controlled by you, so how they react is not up to you. they may sincerely apologize or they might dismiss you, guilt you, or blame you. this is why the cleaning process stings. its sanitizing the wound, getting rid of the germs and such. in this case, the communication is either dispelling those who will only do more harm or simply putting you in a position to take the next step with a person who sincerely apologizes.

this brings us to the next step, the stitches. this part honestly may or may not hurt more than the cleaning step. in this step, you need to reach acceptance. if the person apologized sincerely, this will involve accepting their apology, however, what you are really accepting is that the trauma happened in the first place and that there was nothing you could do to prevent or stop it. no amount of armor would have protected you from your trusted friend deliberately slashing at you with a knife while you had your guard down because at the end of the day, they were your friend and shouldn't have abused your trust. this step takes pretty long, you have to make sure you do the stitches right, you cant rush them. this is to ensure that they are sturdy and will hold.

the final step is achieved over a long period of time, you have to allow yourself to heal. this means avoiding activities that will rip the stitches open or deliberately cut it open again. you are letting the wound close, this way it cant open again, only a new wound can be open in that exact spot. this also involves.... forgiveness. whether you are forgiving the person who hurt you or yourself in the situation, it doesnt matter. at the end of the day, someone has to be forgiven to move forward. it all depends on who you are blaming at this point. sometimes we think we are blaming the attacker, when we really are blaming ourselves. and sometimes vice versa.

once we achieve this feat of forgiveness, allowing the wound to close, then we have healed. when you fully move on, that's kinda like when its now a scar to look back on. we look different, we feel different, but it doesnt hurt when you move forward. its just there to remind us what we are capable of surviving.

honestly little acts of revenge after its all healed doesnt hurt. its like putting the ice pack on it when it aches for like a few moments. but dont leave the ice pack on for too long, it will start to hurt again. so dont draw out these long and deliberate plans to enact revenge, that just makes you vulnerable to a new wound. and honestly, at the end of the day, once it is fully like a faded scar, you probably will not need an ice pack. the thought wont even cross your mind. you have moved on, you will only remember the scar is even there when you see it out of the corner of your eye. somedays, it feels more visible than others, but its not. its always there, but its not making a mess.

maybe i am unable to reach out to E and help her. i cant stand by her and force her to take the steps to tend to the wounds on her. i know if i reach out and beg her to stop, it wont end well. but maybe she will see this and understand someday, not knowing i wrote this. or maybe she will discover this process on her own. but moral of the story is this:

ice packs dont help an open gash.

[news365timesindia]

[ad_1] Sam Altman, the CEO of OpenAI, is facing a lawsuit led by his younger sister, Annie Altman, in the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Missouri. The lawsuit alleges that Sam sexually abused Ann between 1997 and 2006, starting when she was three years old and he was 12. The complaint describes repeated abuse at their family home in Clayton, Missouri, which Ann claims caused severe emotional distress and lifelong psychological trauma. What does the lawsuit say? The lawsuit alleges that the abuse occurred “several times per week,” beginning with acts of oral sex and escalating to penetration. Annie further claims that Sam manipulated her into believing the acts were her idea, despite her young age. The complaint outlines signicant impacts on her mental health, including post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, and a loss of enjoyment in normal life. Ann seeks damages exceeding $75,000 alongside a jury trial. Annie Altman had previously made her accusations public through posts on the social media platform X, formerly Twitter. In November 2021, she posted that she “experienced sexual, physical, emotional, verbal, financial, and technological abuse from my biological siblings, mostly Sam Altman and some from Jack Altman.” I feel strongly that others have also been abused by these perpetrators. I’m seeking people to join me in pursuing legal justice, safety for others in the future, and group healing. Please message me with any information, you can remain however anonymous you feel safe. (3/3) — Annie Altman (@anniealtman108) November 14, 2021 How Sam Altman and his family has responded to allegations In a joint statement released on X, formerly known as Twitter, Sam Altman and his family categorically denied the allegations. The statement, signed by Sam, his mother Connie, and brothers Jack and Max, reads: “Annie has made deeply hurtful and entirely untrue claims about our family, especially Sam. We’ve chosen not to respond publicly, out of respect for her privacy and our own. However, she has now taken legal action against Sam, and we feel we have no choice but to address this.” My sister has filed a lawsuit against me. Here is a statement from my mom, brothers, and me: pic.twitter.com/Nve0yokTSX — Sam Altman (@sama) January 7, 2025 The statement also addressed Annie’s mental health challenges, saying: “Our family loves Annie and is very concerned about her well-being. Caring for a family member who faces mental health challenges is very difficult. Over the years, we’ve tried in many ways to support Annie and help her and stability, following professional advice on how to be supportive without enabling harmful behaviours.”   [ad_2] Source link