#he simply has So Much Energy
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jay is so fucking annoying in d1 i love him
#he does not give a single shit <3#it does make you realise how much he mellows in d2 & 3 like in d1 he’s just fucking insane#he simply has So Much Energy#and i love how cocky he is like he just has so much Confidence#<- to hide his overwhelming insecurities‼️#idk idk like he doesn’t particularly care about getting the wand (‘find the wand blah blah blah’)#he just went bc his gang was going#& now his thieving/physical skills are useless in auradon#he has nowhere to direct all this energy he usually spends on pickpocketing or parkour#and i love how much he (affectionately) bullies carlos especially#and he and mal are constantly squabbling#and evie laughs at his jokes <3#i mean i also often characterise jay as being the yes man and he IS. but also he’s going to be so annoying about it first#like yeah he’ll do whatever mal tells him. but he’s going to argue about it whilst doing it <3#descendants liveblog#<- i’m on a d1 rewatch rn
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walermelom
#fatfur#my art#taur#keez#i love this feller so much#he is simply a soft guy#as my friends say#he has labrador energy
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hes so silly and tortured. i hope he gets violent
#HES SO!!!! hes so <3<3<3<3#hes simply the most.#man that saying really does sum it up huh#'thats the most' FUCK YEAH DUDE IT SURE IS!!!#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#welcome home fanart#he fascinates me#bc he simultaneously has 'head empty' vibes and 'knows too much' vibes#the bottom two are concept scribbles i might make into full things if i have the energy#and i still cant draw him consistently!#yippee yahoo and all that!
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you can always tell when someone doesn't have maga men in their life and god it makes me angry.. "if you're nice and compassionate you can be the one woman that makes them realize women aren't mean!" my mom bent over backwards for my dad for 25 fucking years he has plenty of other women kissing his ass and it never changed anything. do you really think that before being radicalized they never knew a single kind woman? they were never friends with a nice girl? alt-right men's problem with women isn't just that they've experienced too many mean women and they need to be shown that women can be nice, it's that they think women are inferior and don't deserve rights and don't understand anything so you can do what you want with them. and it takes a lot more than being nice to show someone that you aren't inferior. this isn't a case of being nice even when it's hard for the sake of deradicalization, it's about spending every fucking interaction with someone trying to get them to see you as a human being with value and a functioning intellect while they just laugh and show you that's never going to happen.
i cannot stress this enough: random women are not just going out and Being Mean to men. ur average guy interacts with plenty of women throughout his life- close women amongst their friends and family, casual interactions etc. most people don't start out being shunned by women, they start out being treated as NORMAL. & when they show their disrespect in normal society, it isn't tolerated, but when they go to alt-right spaces (which they're pushed towards online) they're told they're allowed to be as horrible as they want with no consequences because they're entitled to everything. it isn't "women aren't welcoming and the alt-right is so friendly so i'll become alt-right," it's "women don't let me disrespect them and the alt-right tells me fuck them, do whatever you want, you're entitled to it all" and why would you choose the group where you have to be a normal accountable person when there's a group that will reward you for being a shithead who gives no fucks?
the alt-right can afford to be more friendly and welcoming because they can allow bigotry. this can't work the same way for progressive spaces because we can be as kind & welcoming as possible but at the end of the day we have lines where we have to say "this behavior/speech isn't allowed in this space," and for certain people, that just can't win against a space where you can be as nasty as you want. these posts always end with a disclaimer saying "of course being kind doesnt mean you need to tolerate their bigotries" but what they don't realize and what drives me crazy is that women not tolerating bigotry IS the "women are mean" that radicalized them in the first place. they perceive you pushing back on any bigotry or bullshit as you being a meanie and treating them like they're ontologically evil. the 'kindness' they need to be deradicalized is you letting them walk all over you.
idk what the answer is to deradicalizing them and im sure relationships are part of it but you can be as kind as you want and all it will do is destroy you ime. i cant stand to see people (who have never even successfully deradicalized any man by being nice btw they always speak in hypotheticals and not from experience) double down on telling women to do things that will see no results and only hurt them, especially when any woman who has tried can tell you exactly how it went
#being as nasty as possible & shitting on everyone while giving no fucks makes you popular in certain spaces. that's tempting no matter what#to immature ppl. part of growing up is learning that you cant do that and real relationships need you to not do that#but that sucks. you could just ignore it and join the alt-right to be a manchild forever#if ur an asshole who wld u wanna hang out with: ur wife who says please dont be an asshole to me or ur bros who say she's a hysterical bitc#& u did nothing wrong?#if u had a maga dad/brother/uncle & u heard the way they talk about women its never abt being mean lol#it's abt how women are hysterical & sensitive & get upset at everything they do#im so sorry but a normal guy (i know & am friends with many) doesnt simply become an MRA because his girl friends made 1 men suck joke#if a guy truly has no fulfilling friendships with women or girls to the point where some feminist group 'being too mean' can radicalize him#bc he doesnt have any kind women in his life to prove that wrong. he already had issues.#you reach a certain point in your friendship with these guys where youve been SO kind and so supportive and welcoming and played therapist#for ages and then they turn around and say 'im voting trump cuz i like his personality better lol i dont care about rights and that bs'#even if you can deradicalize someone by being kind thats years of insane unreciprocated energy for ONE guy#who will end up being the person who never posts abt feminism except to say i became alt right because women were mean so be nice girls!#nobody tells anyone else to accept full blown bigots in their spaces either much less BEFRIEND them#bc nobody is expected to do this kind of service except women. <3#eat ass.
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Characters baring a mouth full of sharp fangs as show of aggression is top tier but can we talk about how sinister a flash of smooth square omnivore teeth can be. The implications therein? The difference between facing a carnivore vs a member of the terrifyingly, aptly named 'opportunistic eaters'? The fear of being on one's menu, the knowledge that you are on the other's - no matter what you are. The inherent danger of a threat display where there are set rules to avoiding harm turning into a hunt on a dime.
Anyway, thinking about Nikodemus and how beautifully all of this translates into his supernatural setting...
#man said Eater eater. on all levels including spiritual he is an omnivore#on my 'omnivores are the most terrifying kind of animal' grind#no one is truly safe fr we can be as high on the energy food chain as vegetables fruit and grain#or as low as munching on carnivore-eating carnivores#so yeah maybe i like the idea of that extending to the preternatural in the respective worlds i play him in#as much as nik's beyond inhuman at this point he truly embodies the spirit of humanity by clawing his way to the top of the food chain#when he started at the metaphysical bottom#inspired by me saying nik has a mouth full of sharp fangs spiritually in my head - like the way we see carnivore teeth as inherently scary#and then realizing no you know what omnivore teeth are more terrifying we're just desensitized because we're part of that horrid 3%#thinking about the lion-eating chimpanzees#or hedgehogs eating snakes#something about an animal not as associated with violence and danger nor even built for it eating creatures who are#simply because it was hungry and there was no other more convenient food source#thinking about Avita tangentially. my other eater who has more readily available energy sources than souls#but would not deny herself a morsel if prey was stupid enough to purposefully wander into her path and challenge her#to be fair she wouldn't even bare her teeth#𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐑 ‒ nikodemus ║ MUSINGS
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Thinking about ScarVi's overarching theme being The Truth Shall Set You Free. I am so normal about this
#spoilers in tags#pokémon#pokemon sv#Arven initially being closed off and not trusting you because he was neglected by his parent and learned to only rely on himself#realizing very early on that being honest is the best chance he has at healing his Mabostiff#but still not opening up about his bigger issues until it was absolutely necessary which pushes the story forward into endgame#Penny hiding herself behind Cassiopeia to protect herself from bullying#getting an entire group of outcast kids into a team to scare their bullies off#only for the plan to backfire splendously when they're mistaken for the bullies#and Clavell in a rare display of clarity ffrom an adult in a position of authority#rather than simply punishing them for it opted to team up with us to understand what was really going on#and that made him much more lenient in punishing them (because they did still cause trouble!)#the truth of Turo/Sada spiraling into their work and refusing to see the damage it was doing to EVERYTHING including themselves#to the point that they DIED#and the AI they built explicitly for the purpose of continuing their work ran the calculations and realized said work was Bad#and that truth made it go against its own programming which is what kickstarts the main story to begin with#and may I contrast all that with NEMONA whose sheer energy and eagerness is 1000% GENUINE#I've seen so many people say they thought she was going to eventually be angry for losing to us all the time#but the whole point of her character is that she's free to do whatever the fuck she wants and she's pretty happy with her life#she has no reason to fake happiness. she's just like that. she is free from the beginning and she's always be free and that's the point#in a story where no one else is!!! everyone else is bound by some complication or another that holds them back from being honest#i changed my mind i'm insane about this. no longer normal#pokemon sv spoilers#babbles
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gmmtv, please, I dare you, give ohm a main character role where he’s not a bad guy holding a gun. i just want him to have fun again.
#like seriously??? i don’t even really care about the non-bl gmmtv stuff which I why I didn’t mind from last year#but now you’re giving him a new bl?? or is it a bromance?? with a new partner?? and still he’s cast in these bad boy roles#like godddddd im not asking for pat 2.0 I simply want something where he isn’t the same character over and over again#he has so much good fun positive energy why are you not using it?????#gmmtv 2024#ohm pawat
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I know I've mentioned it before, but I really do love the idea of Stretch slowly gaining some weight on the surface, going from scrawny as hell to like, a dad bod. And Edge just being sooo happy about it.
How overwhelmed with love he feels when he remembers how chalky and pale Stretch's bones used to be, how they're flushed and vibrant now. How sturdy he feels to hold, how different it is from when his bones felt so brittle they might snap if he held him too tightly. The days long behind them of Stretch going weeks at a time hardly eating, hardly moving, being able to spoil him endlessly with any recipe he loves or wants to try.
Normally, I don't think most monsters really have the kinds of the uselessly judgmental behaviors humans do, but I feel like Stretch would still be self conscious of the change, possibly because of human standards he’s since learned, or perhaps just because it's a change and he worries, but he worries less and less with Edge. Because Edge clearly doesn't mind, even seems to cherish it, and he feels better, he knows he's doing better, so what does anything else matter, really?
Healing together...ough
#since I usually hc most uf monsters are like. partially starved at all times. edge would also of course gain weight and become much#healthier but he has So much Fucking Energy I just don't think he could be anything but absolutely jacked which is like...#idk. it's different. on top of like. edge's thing isn't so much a sign of personal healing as simply being in a much better environment#which is of course wonderful and sweet in its own right but stretch's thing is internal yk? it's a harder hurdle to clear#I'm super exhausted rn so idk what I'm talking about. bye#spicyhoney#papship#papcest#sns is typing#sns thoughts...
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#my borderline symptoms and attachment issues have been much worse because im going through so much#and she spent all day in call with other people and i wound up alone for the whole day#and i didnt split or feel anger toward her but i did know that most of my friends were at a party that i didnt have energy to go to#and id been having a hard time with feelings of abandonment#after she got off call she messaged me asking to plan to spend time together. she wanted to show me that i was not. alone#she didnt know i was having big bad feelings but she understood that i probably would have big bad feelings. and she simply...#proactively communicated#and that small gesture means so fucking much. so much#like oh. she's... she cares... about me...#she thinks... im worth it. she shows me im worth it.#shes asleep on the phone with me right now and sometimes i hear her turn in bed or whimper. and i just...#i feel... so protective of her. idk how else to put it.#not from a limerence-y standpoint bc weve been getting closer slowly and carefully for months now.#or from a situationship standpoint where things are just rly intense but chaotic#she has my devotion much like he still does too.#theres just love. here#as well#and it's so much...#its made me reevaluate so many things
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shin would apologize for his bed being a mess even if it’s overall fine, meanwhile keiji’s out here like “hey, let’s uh. keep this in the hallway alright? maybe find a nice, grassy spot to talk this out...” and then when he moves out of the doorway to close his apartment door you’re briefly face-to-face with the fact that he. needs severe help.
#he doesn't hoard things but what he does have just... isn't organized#he isn't the sort who deals with nasty food or what have you scattered around the place; it's more of a... why do you have a lightbulb on#the floor sir. -> ''oh. that. huh. must've been a ghost.'' (voice of someone who was having terrible hallucinations)#(in the midst of trying to replace a dull bulb and just gave up even though he knows he might get glass in his foot)#and then of course just. a corner for his pile of bedsheets & towels... papers strewn about his main living area. his dishwasher is always#full of shit and he never has the energy to put the clean dishes anywhere but the spare counterspace#which means he has to prepare his food on the main coffee table#and so you see like. spice and flour or emptied cans there#it's just... idk. i think a lot abt the characters' living spaces and his makes me especially sad#esp knowing his mother's probably in a. similar position w the lack of motivation to do upkeep w/o (young) keiji's health at stake#& the whole... setting an example thing (where even then she feels she failed) - certainly not as bad as him. but...#they're definitely predisposed to. depression lol. it's simply the poor man's life#jestersvaguely#yttdposting#god. what am i doing talking abt keiji fucking shinogi. rubs my face. i don't care much for this guy & i just meant to get up to draw#+ get pain medicine & then go back to bed...
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Everyone needs to start getting way weirder (read: hornier) about this moment so I don't feel so alone.
Also - Tuvok....this is WILDLY funny. Tuvok is SO cringe I love him, he's the worst guy ever. Absolutely 0 hesitation to, IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, straight up go "Hey, first officer? Sorry for cutting you off in the middle of this life-or-death situation but I just couldn't help but notice that I, Tuvok, made a suggestion and you didn't follow it? That's literally never happened before. Did you not hear me or..?" There's literally not even a good reason for him to object it's straight up ONLY because it wasn't his idea.
#I'm telling you Tuvok gives such a wonderful 'spoiled know it all' energy <3#Has Janeway NEVER disagreed with you????? HEHEHE#Oh anyway yeah Chakotay making Tuvok call him sir is hot#But more importantly - people who say Tuvok has no personality beyond 'Vulcan' simply aren't paying enough attention#like I know we sort of get SCRAPS as the series goes on but he DOES have a distinct personality to me#It's not only that he speaks up here rather than following orders - its the REASON he gives which is#'Why aren't you doing what I say? Janeway would never do this. =_=' (& the fact he does it in front of everyone)#It implies that he thinks his plan is better just because it's his plan (as otherwise he'd surely bring up a more facts/logic based#complaint) - He's ANNOYING and he's arrogant and he's clearly very close with Janeway#and he deserves to get punched <3 and I love him so much.#voy#How CONFIDENT was he that Chakotay would be like 'oh sorry Tuvok you're absolutely right' that he INTERRUPTED him to bring it up in front#of EVERYONE????? TUVOK!!! GIRL YOU ARE /DELUSIONAL/ ~!!!#I can literally see Tuvok writing a 'and everybody clapped' ass fanfic in my head as we speak...he and the doctor have this in common#the only difference is that Tuvok would never explicitly write that while the Doctor absolutely would and he'd be like 'this is the height#of my genius' and I unfortunately find all of that endearing
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one thing about getting sick for me is that before covid (the first time) my colds and flus and whatnot all went in a very specific pattern: i would get a sore throat for a day or two, then violently congested for three or four days, then a runny nose/drainage for three or four days after that, and finally a cough, which was my favorite part of the cold (if a person can be said to have a favorite part of a cold) because it meant it was almost over AND that the problem was largely not in my face and neck anymore. but any illness i've had since that first covid has been all over the map - either i don't get the sore throat at all, just straight into the congestion, or the sore throat happens at a different time, or longer, or worse, or i have to spit a lot because otherwise i get so nauseous from sinus drainage that i throw up, or the congestion and the runny nose happen concurrently with not just each other but ALSO the sore throat (which is what's happening right now and i hate it) and like. because it doesn't follow the pattern i spent twenty-six years of my life getting used to, i'm always freaked out. which i would be anyway because ever since i had the first covid getting sick freaks me out. and it should freak more people out if im being honest. but this is a weird one bc like. i dont know how it did that but it disrupted MY trusty sick pattern
#i say 'first covid' because even though both rapid tests were negative yesterday there's a high likelihood they were false negatives#the most likely explanation is 'my brother brought covid to christmas and three days later i also got covid'#a perfectly reasonable chain of logic that my family refuses to entertain because it would make it His Fault#and nobody wants to blame mister perfect#he's my brother and i mostly love him. but the thing with him and me is that he's two years younger than me but has always had an energy of#i dont know. maturity? know-it-all-ness which comes off as maturity? emotional stoicism? < thats it probably right there#i was always a very emotional child. and undiagnosedly autistic. so he is in some ways the eldest child. and i resent it#like. we all know he's NOT the eldest. but he takes charge of things like he thinks he is. and when i take charge of things i am...#not authoritative#anyway he's the engineer and emotionally stoic and can 'beat' any problem by simply glaring at it hard enough (he thinks) and he's like#the oldest son. and i think somewhere back in the family hindbrain where they'd never recognize or admit it . that holds weight#oldest son holds just SLIGHTLY more weight than oldest daughter#although. had i been born a boy and been exactly the same personality-wise as i am already. he would still be like this#and we would still have this uncomfortable dynamic#anyway mister special can't get anybody sick and it's probably not his fault because i come into contact with people all the time!#sure. at my much more secure workplace where i spend less than five minutes with most patrons. and a lot more people mask#versus . him a foot away from me at the dinner table sniffling into his ham. hmmmmmm. you're an engineer. you do the math
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So, remember how like... 6 months ago I said hubs got tumblr? Remember how I said he probably wouldn't see anything here because mostly my shenanigans only mildly entertain him... well... I'm almost SURE he must have seen some of the shit I posted about in the last couple of days because he straight up called my ass out like:
him: "wish I could fuck you right now, but your mouth feels too good... someone else should do it... you think about someone fucking you while you're sucking my cock?" me: *pauses* him: "About Dylan..." me: *nod moans*
Y'ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! The way my cheeks must have looked like Santa's fucking suit. MY GOD.
#PERSONAL#as FUCK#please avert your gaze#but like no#then he wanted details#while he did fuck me#HA!#but I'm like...#SO SHY in the moment to talk about it#even with him#I know that's probably shocking#but I express myself much better in written words when it comes to this kind of thing#whenever he 'tell me what you fantasize about' in bed I'm like OOP!#it's pathetic honestly#I should just tell him I want him to fuck me while dylan fucks him#why couldn't I just say it#???#and he's usually pretty quiet in bed too... so this was PRIME opportunity because he was so chatty and naughty#and I simply couldn't match his energy because I guess I'm STILL repressed even after having worked on it for like the last 10 years#hubs
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todays one of those days. just googled how much an adhd or autism assessment would cost in Ireland. Over 1.5k each lol. do I look like I’m gonna spend 3k just to be told smth that I a) already know and b) no one can do anything about? lmfao shut uuuuup 😭😭😭
#I’d have to pay for it privately due to Complicated Immigrant Situation That Influences My Health Insurance Situation (TM)#sometimes I just feel like it would be easier if I knew what was wrong with me yk#I have this ALL OR NOTHING mindset thing and I’ve always had that and my mum has been on my ass about having to work on that all my life#anyway it’s come to bite me in the ass once again#yk when ur brain just gets like. Stuck on a thought#not in an OCD way tho more like. ‘if this doesn’t play out EXACTLY like I thought it would I will have a meltdown’#and then you have to exert sooooo much energy bc you have to stop the meltdown from happening#my boyfriend changed plans we had and it fucked me up so hard I don’t know#and when I say ‘I wish I was normal about this’ he replied he loves me for who I am#really????? it is simply impossible that you love someone bc they have a crying hyperventilating breakdown bc the plans for one day on one#weekend change lmaooooooooo#(I didn’t have the meltdown. I suppressed it. I’m not a bitch!)#I don’t want him to feel guilty#but he picked up on it and I don’t know how to explain to him that it’s not about the damned change of plans#I’m upset bc I feel unseen bc I have to mask and mask and mask and I don’t even know WHAT I’m masking#maybe I don’t even have any neurodivergence and I’m just a horrible person#frankly the most likely outcome but I sure as fuck am not paying 3k to be diagnosed with Basic Bitch 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂#shut up Sam
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thinking of peach's inexplicable power to generate or find 1-up mushrooms in mario galaxy. like how much energy does that take? is this even usually possible for an inhabitant within the mushroom world? like mario and co. generate 1-up mushrooms by doing enough trick shots and comboing enemies, but i don't think peach usually is surrounded by enemies when she's captured, which means she has to generate them herself right? unless she keeps finding them on bowser's airships or wherever she's being held? is this an extension of her white magic? it definitely fits with her personality and other skill sets, but i'm just so curious how her sending mario 1-up mushrooms logically works out...
#fwaffy rambles#im on my “peach kind of actually saves mario as much as he saves her” agenda again#and those 1-up mushrooms in galaxy really prove just how much she cares about him!!!#but seriously where does she get 1-ups in space...#i'd understand more if it was bowser's castle where he probably has an established base full of supplies and stuff...#but he's only just “conquered” space by the time he kidnaps peach#and i simply don't think bowser stocks up on enough power ups for peach to send five 1-ups each time she manages to send a letter#nor does he seem like he has many troops on his air ships for this title#so getting them through trickshots seems to be out of the question#i guess she could get them through starbits and the lumalee shop? but that seems unlikely as well#so that must mean she home cooks them herself right? with whatever healing aligned powers that she has?#gahhh... tbh thinking about how much she cares about mario in order to make so many life giving mushrooms in galaxy makes me tear up a bit#like she must put so so so so much magical energy into generating these 1-ups and making sure her letter reaches mario.....#and even if it's not her making the 1-ups she still must put in so much effort into finding them which in turn puts herself at risk#and it's all out of warm loving concern for her friend... sobs... to alleviate his struggles wherever she can....#she doesn't even want him to worry about her because she says in the letter that she's alright bc she knows he's coming to rescue her....#she just hopes her gift comes in handy..... as if it isn't a big deal that she just gave mario the power to defy death five times 😭#she is just so thoughtful and sweet :(#truly a 1-up girl that could win anyone's heart with the heart she's giving tbh.....#anyways i'm getting too sappy over this minute detail in galaxy. good night!
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just so people know, I do in fact revisit this post because a creator I respect called me underrated and I will take that to my grave like a badge of honour, no one can tell me shit because I will simply hold this up and go "well L+ratio+bitchass+Reverie said one time that my shit is good". Is it big-headed? Yes. I admit to that. Will I keep looking back at this and go "Damn, maybe I am kinda good at this" because it gives me hits of Dopamine? Also yes. I am mentally ill, I will take my wins where I can get them and no one will bring me down from my highs.
Hello Mr. Cool audio making man i have a question for you :D Do you listen to other audio artist peeps? If so, who?
I haven't been able to actually really listen to much in the last year or so, just because I've got audio processing issues so if I want to actually understand/retain what I'm listening to I've gotta really focus on it lol
I've also got a horrible memory so other than yuurivoice I can't remember the names of the people I listened to then lol (recommendations are very welcome!) But I've listened to some stuff by gingerneutral, and Mr. Laveau is also super underrated (the character designs and artstyle are incredible!)
I've also wanted to get into Castle Audios and Escaped Audios sometime, I've heard good things about both of their work!
#Laveau is simply being silly over a mention#let Xem have this#He just has too much energy this morning and loves Reverie audios too much to not say something#but like can you blame them? No because if Reverie says you're kinda good#you wear that like a badge of honour#no other interpretations to be found#altho if you don't listen to reverie you should#I do and like I love Law and Dion so much
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