#he sees her in rafe and that’s why he doesn’t want to acknowledge rafe’s obvious mental illness WHO SAID THAT

[futuremrscameron]

angelina jolie as the former mrs. cameron WALK WITH ME

let’s call her elizabeth

elizabeth was from a rich family like arranged marriage to keep the money flowing rich but she didn’t care about any of that she wanted love and family that actually cared about her.

she met ward at one of her father’s stuffy business events where they hit it off while talking about the future and their deepest desires. after a year she married ward, she was significantly younger than him much to her parents’ dismay. her father thought he just wanted her for their family name and money but she knew that wasn’t true. sure he wanted to make a name for himself and talked about building a legacy a lot but he was charming and handsome and sure he wasn’t as rich as some guy with the III in his name but he was independent, bold, caring, and most importantly he loved her. he also didn’t call her elizabeth which she hated, but lee, a nickname he came up with after she told him bout how the ultimate act of love in here eyes were nicknames because they showed individuality and thought out into another person.

they struggled to have a baby for years which drove her into a deep depression and ward didn’t know how to help her outside of her paying for her therapy sessions which she refused to talk about which led to many fights,

luck was on their side the month they found out they were expecting. she was thrilled, buzzing with excitement and ward was happy his wife was better and that he’d finally have a family of his own.

rafe was the hardest birth of the kids, he was upside down then he was nearly strangled by his umbilical cord. the doctors said it was like he didn’t wanna come out. she immediately loved him and doted on him every waking moment. ward thought it was nothing at first just a loving mother being protective of her child until he came home from work one day and heard his son crying. he ran upstairs and found rafe on their bed but no sign of his wife. she was in the bath crying into a wine bottle as water rained down on her.

when ward set rafe down for a nap he begged her for answers but she couldn’t give him any. he threatened to take rafe away if she didn’t tell him and she broke. she sobbed as she told him about how she was scared of accidentally hurting him and that she felt like a terrible mother. she went “away” for a while, that it wasn’t rafe’s fault, she wasn’t feeling well, and she’d be back soon. that’s what he told everyone when they’d ask. he promised her rafe would be safe with him and there when she got back and he was telling the truth! partially. he had a nanny look after him whenever he was tied up on a contract or had to work late, which was a lot.

they visited her, ward and rafe, she cried when she saw him. told him he got so big like he could understand at 6 months old and promised she would be out soon. she came back home three weeks later with a postpartum diagnosis and a three month zoloft prescription. she was just so happy to be home and with her baby again she promised ward that this wouldn’t happen again and that she was better.

things were great for three years until she found out she was pregnant again. she was scared that she’d slip back into a depression and considered having an abortion which appalled ward. they argued for hours about it, he accused her of not wanting another child which she denied. it wasn’t the child it was the feeling she knew she’d have to relive and the pain from the thought of hurting their baby. he convinced her to keep it because “she was doing so good” and “if anything happened he would support her”. it was a crock of shit and she knew it but rafe was thrilled to learn he was gonna have a sibling so how could she take that away from him. he helped her whenever she went out. “her little prince” she called him, ward wouldn’t say she coddled him until he was 7.

sarah was an easy pregnancy compared to rafe. no scares, no resistance, and a measly 8 hours compared to rafe’s 17. rafe was surprised to see his little sister look so tiny and was scared to hold her before ward reassured him that he wasn’t going to. elizabeth was so happy at the sight of her two babies but she couldn’t help but feel a sense of dread, impending doom.

her parents visited for sarah which made her livid. suddenly she was back in their life not a pariah? why couldn’t they have stayed gone or extended the courtesy to rafe. she lashed out at them and tried to get out of bed to fight them, security was called to escort her parents out. ward was startled and had rafe wait outside while he talked to her. told her that he understood her anger but she couldn’t do that in front of rafe or sarah and that she shouldn’t exert herself. she cried and told her she didn’t know where it came from and he comforted her, biting his tongue about maybe going back to the facility.

he would later regret that when she started slipping into a depression again. she told him she needed to go back but he told her she was fine and just needed to take her meds. she knew something was wrong and said she was worried about hurting sarah so he did what he does best, he gave her a sales pitch. not just any sales pitch, the sales pitch of a lifetime his greatest to date. told her that she was a great mother and that rafe and sarah would be fine under her care and that the pills were working if her natural glow was anything to go by. told her she was strong and if she was feeling really bad they could call her doctor and have the dosage increased.

he thought it worked and it did for a while until he received a phone call from work. it was rafe’s tiny six year old voice on the phone telling him “mommy was asleep and not waking up” his stomach dropped as he could hear sarah crying in the background. he walked rafe through calling 911 and telling them what the emergency was.

she was back in the facility for three weeks where she was diagnosed with severe depression and they found out she was pregnant. he was thrilled the baby was alive but angry that she would do that with their children in the house, another growing inside her, and that he was completely helpless. they visited her on sarah’s birthday and she was out by rafe’s.

wheezie was the easiest pregnancy according to her and there was no postpartum this time. she was trying her best to look after a newborn, a third grader, and a kindergartner on her own but ward just gave her shallow word of encouragement and shot down her request for outside help. she saw rafe and sarah’s constantly fighting as a failure on her part and thought they’d be better off without her. she didn’t want to leave them but what choice did she have? she decided against it though not wanting her louisa to have no memories of her mother.

ward took the kids to the park the summer wheezie turned four and they had a blast. there were bouncy houses, popsicles, and fireworks. they all decided to get elizabeth something and decided on a bracelet with an emerald, not a real emerald but the thought counts. the house was empty when they got home, elizabeth was nowhere to be found but she left a letter on the bed apologizing for leaving her children and asking ward to tell them she loves them.

she was found in the lake not too far from their house. the funeral was a week later, the sound of his children’s screams and cries were drowned out by the sight of her. she looked so peaceful, he thought it was ironic since she was almost always miserable. he didn’t want to say goodbye but what choice did he have, he was alone now and his kids needed him. they needed a mother too but she was gone. he’d have to get to work on that.

​inspired by @haven247’s obx 1987 au

[hardlypartying]

S4E6 spoilers (in pretty much chronological order)

Okay right off the bat— I’m not loving this rando potentially being JJs real dad. If they wanted to do this storyline I feel like it would’ve been way more fucked up if it were Luke manipulating him/maybe telling the truth about him being a kook. And to make it hurt more he could’ve played into JJs obvious guilt and made him an accomplice in this by telling him about an “inheritance”. We see how loyal JJ is to any family he forges so it would’ve been a cool thing to see how far he’s willing to go. Just don’t understand why they brought Ward 2.0 to maybe be his real dad, it’s way too convoluted. Maybe it’ll make sense later (doubt it).

Sarah walking John B through her theory so he can reach the same conclusion as her… I love them sm <3 This was very early Jarah of them, the mysteries and uncovering it :))

Happy that JJ is finally opening up to Kie! Progress!! Hate how he’s not sharing it with the rest of the group and now looks like he’s been slacking 😭 they need to give him a break, he’s been going through ittt

🔊🔊🔊

Kiara saying Rafe’s name was a jumpscare—I really did not expect that! She never acknowledges him lmao I was so shocked that scene actually exists for her haha, part of me thought she’d just ignore that whole thing but let’s fucking goooooooooo.

So funny to me that for someone who pulled out the knife and was all >:( at him… she’s still relaying the message hehehehe. Is that a little crack I see in her hmmm 🤨 she’s soft launching a potential alliance hmmm 🤔

“Rafe Cameron, CEO” PLEASEEE HES SO PRECIOUS. BUSINESS CARD AND EVERYTHING HES TRYING SO HARD TO BE A SERIOUS GUY LIKE YOUR LINKEDIN IS ENOUGH KING

Sofia side plot with Hollis 😎 love to see it!! Idec if they’re scamming, let them!

RAFE WITH SARAH 😭 MY HEART. He’s so broken he has no idea how to apologize to her. This is such a mess. His love language is so acts of service, he’s trying to bury his guilt by bringing Sarah into this deal as a show of his trust. Maybe that’s mutually exclusive to him, trust being an act of apology. But Sarah is so scared of being there, the part where she flinches when he hits the desk :(( she really just wants an apology. Rafe’s coming at it from a Ward angle and she just wants her brother.

Stop the music. The gold cross was gold plated?! I’m pretty sure they said it was solid gold in s2. PLEASE WHY ARE THEY ALL SO FUCKING BROKE AFTER ALL THE SHIT THEY DID. Rose was the real mvp in all this wow.

Love to see the Pogues getting together and spreading the word abt this bullshit zoning. Super important to mobilize their community for this, and it’ll get them the pay off they want— more voices and support = less the “officials” can do whatever the fuck they want shrouded behind laws that protect them. Love how Kie and Pope’s parents sat with them; but at the same time it breaks my heart to see this— how distant they are from them. At least there’s some effort being put now.

Anyway that riot was necessary. Also JJ is so goneeee, the way the camera keeps lingering on him and his relationship with everyone is shown 😬 It’s giving season 3 of the OC when that happened. But maybe it’s a misdirect 🤞 everyone helping JJ get away was so :’) <3 Anyway Rudy’s acting was amazing here! He’s such a full body actor, always using up the space he’s in— super compelling to watch!

Pls he’s in goblin mode and it’s sending me. Talking to himself. Tearing shit up. Welcome back JJ Maybank but also, it’s so heartbreaking to see him deal with this identity crisis that he might be a full kook when being a pogue is all he’s ever had. Idk I think he needs to pick up meditation or smth his mind is a wicked place for him to be in 24/7. He’s so hard on himself. Doesn’t help that he’s villainized by everyone and if they’re not making him the bad guy, they’re pitying him.

If he actually dies this season I’m gonna be pissed actually. Like this is no way to go 😭 I’m gonna be even more pissed off at Rudy for not being able to handle a fan-serviced ship to do this to JJ. If he’s alive and well by the end of the season I’m gonna be annoyed that I spent so much time stressing out.

Come on, the utinsels in the microwave?? He’s a pogue through and through 🫡

Pope taking the bullet (so to speak) for JJ 😭 brooooo it’s literally them in season one with JJ taking the fall for Pope after sinking Topper’s boat. I’m sick. This is sick.

Rafe is so smart but he’s gotten so bad at trusting his instincts now— I think he’s too nervous about trusting any part of himself that gets a little too crazy after his s1&2 arc. Maybe he’s taken up meditation.

“If you’re screwing me, I’ll come after you” 😎 tell himmmm 🗣️ the best part is that this guy has no idea how fr Rafe is. He’s such a vengeful person, no way he’s gonna screw him over and get away with it. Ugh love this bc it’s really setting up the Pogues + Rafe arc I know is coming. Foaming at the mouth for it. They need someone like him in their group to be the #realist and play bad cop bc they’re all WAYYY too loosey goosey. The pogues have a pocket full of dreams while Rafe’s got a pocket full of cash.

Also where tf is Barry?! Is he not a part of this season at all? I swear to god I feel his absence so bad it’s giving me war flashbacks to watching succession and lighting a weekly candle to see stewy on my screen :’( maybe it’s just the silver spoons story in me and I want to see more of them being crafty little cockroaches

Rafe waving at JJ is so…. More of that pls. I want him to be a little cocky and a dickhead to the Pogues 😋

TLDR; This got away from me and became more of a JJ review than a riara review, sorry! I hope this crumb of riara wasn’t what everyone was going crazy for!! If it is, I’m going to keep thinking about how she’s lowkey encouraging Sarah to reunite with Rafe (kinda just for money) but still, a win is a win. She wouldn’t send Sarah to see Rafe if she didn’t think he was a safe person to be around. That says more to me than the little knife scene earlier hehe. She acts like she’s terrified but then tells her best friend btw your brother came around, yeah the one we all hate and I pulled a knife on him you should go see him to check if he can help us out. Careful Kie :) you’re getting soft for Rafe

Either way I’m livingggg bc she acknowledged him 🥰 without as much venom as she usually has 🥰 #progress

I’m gonna watch the next two episodes tomorrow! It’s going slow because I’m watching it with someone and have to wait for them 👹👹👺

[annab-recs]

Midsummers Nightmare - JJ Maybank

Rafe seems to have a little crush on you and you do not realize it until it’s too late. You don’t react as he had hoped, and you don’t have the best timing when it comes to telling your friends and boyfriend, JJ.

Requested by @rochyu 💙

Warnings: some curse words; small amount of verbal and physical abuse

Word Count: 2.2k+

--------------------------------------------------

"I hate your brother." The insult falls from your glossed lips as you roll your eyes at the eldest Cameron who stood farther away from you and Sarah, his blue eyes locked on your swaying figure. Sarah chuckles before nodding in agreement with your statement.

"Yeah, he can be an ass," the blonde in the elegant white dress acknowledges as she grips into your arms gently and spins you two around so that you don't have to be in his line of sight anymore. You give her a small thank you smile as you get back to dancing with your friend. The midsummers music flows through the two of you and together, y'all sway your hips and spin around as giggles fly from your mouths.

"I think he has a crush on you, to be honest." Sarah's sudden words cause your eyes to widen.

"But I'm with JJ." She laughs before leaning into you to whisper in your ear.

"Let me tell you a little secret. I'm with Topper but I'm crushing on someone else too." She pulls away from your ear with the deepest hue of red spreading across her cheeks.

"Who?" Your curiosity is just dying to know but she shakes her head, indicating she will not be speaking more on the subject. You decide not to pester her any further and just vibe to the music with the brown-eyed beauty next to you. All good and fun vibes leave as soon as you feel a tap on your shoulder and turn to see who it is. Rafe.

"Can I help you?" Sarah spoke harshly to her older brother but was soon distracted when Wheezie came running up.

"I just want to talk to you. Please? I won't bother you anymore." The way he spoke sounded like there was something more bothering him and his blue eyes appeared to be almost scared. That in turn worried you and caught your attention so you nodded your head, letting Rafe grab your hand and lead you away from your friend and the crowd that had gathered on the dance floor.

"Okay, so what's wrong?" You asked him as soon as y'all were alone in a room upstairs. He still had that worrisome expression on his face and it just made you even more anxious.

"I need girl advice," he mumbled softly. Relief washed over you as your mind could quit making up worst-case scenarios and focus on the frazzled boy in front of you.

"All right, spill," you instruct, and he nods before beginning.

"Well I like this girl a lot, but I don't know if she feels the same way as I do. I think she does, but I don't know. I feel like something is holding her back."

"Do you think the thing that is holding her back can be overcome?"

"Yes, and if she's scared to overcome it by herself, I'll surely help her." It was nice to see Rafe be so vulnerable and open and it was a side you wished to see more of. As being friends with Sarah for a long time, you had known Rafe for equally as long. You have seen him be nice and sweet but as he's grown, he's become harder and meaner. You don't know why but by the way he's acting now, you see the sweet Rafe you had known when you were younger.

"Have you told her how you feel?" You question as you lean against the wall next to you.

"No, but I have made it so obvious," he states as he takes a few steps closer to you. Absentmindedly, you take steps back as well.

"Rafe, you like this girl. Tell her how you feel. Make your move." You feel your back hit a wall behind you.

"If you say so." His hands lay softly against the sides of your face as your mind tries to understand what happening and when it all clicks, his close proximity to you, how he's always staring at you, how Sarah literally said earlier that she thinks he has a crush on you, how the thing that's holding you back is JJ, it's too late. Rafe's lips are on your own.

You push against his chest to get him off you and your face shows nothing but pure disgust. As Rafe watches your actions, that soft and sweet Rafe you saw previously had left as quick as he came, and his demeanor changed completely. He raises his hand in the air before smacking it across your face.

"Rafe!" He has never done anything like that to you before so to say you were shocked would be an understatement. His hand comes towards your face again and grips your jaw harshly.

"I was going to try to save you from the dirty pogues, but I see that you are the same trash that they are," he spoke through gritted teeth. Using the grip he had in your jaw, he pushed you back into the wall, your head hitting the wood enough to leave you with a pretty bad headache. Your hand flies to the back of your head as Rafe walks over the window, gazing at the party below. 

"Looks like your dirty pogue has arrived. I'll take care of that." And with that, he left. You had no doubt in your mind that JJ couldn't handle Rafe, so you stayed put, mainly in fear. You could feel the stinging handprint on your face, the pounding in the back of your head, and it was almost as of Rafe's hand still had a hold of your jaw.

You sat there as tears brimmed your eyes. You would have to go downstairs eventually and have to face the people you had grown up around. You also didn't want to pass Rafe or his two lackeys, Topper and Kelce. Not wanting to see anyone just yet, you sit and think back on all that just occurred to you. You had never expected the man in the baby blue tux to come on to you like that and you definitely didn’t think he’d hit you.

Scrambling to your feet, you slip out of the room to a bathroom next door to examine your face. You didn’t look too bad. No one should be able to tell anything after you fix your makeup. Thankfully, you had brought some with you in your purse and applied it to where it had been smudged by Rafe’s hands. Your eyes are still tear-filled, but none have fallen just yet. You are not going to let yourself break until you are home, alone. When you finally build up enough courage to go back down and leave, you are met with a bit of commotion amongst the party as you watch JJ shove a guy in a black suit.

“Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie and Y/n,” the battered blond speaks to you both as he points at you two. He moves his finger towards Pope. “Pope, you as well, all right? Rixon’s Cove. Let’s roll.” His attention goes back to you and Kiara. “All right, girls, come on. Workers of the world unite. Throw off your chains!”

You happily run to your boyfriend and jump into his arms after he and John B salute each other. He spins you around as you three wait for the other two who have to put up a small fight against their parents. Pope runs up to y’all as his father yells from afar and he wraps his arms around John B. Kie comes seconds after, laughing as she runs into JJ’s arms. Pope pulls you into him as the five of you run away from the kook-filled place, but not without John B yelling, “Later losers!”

Soon enough, y’all make it to Rixon’s Cove, get a fire started, and sit around discussing what the mandatory meeting is about. John B explains that the gold in on the island before providing the evidence of Denmark Tanny and how he used the gold and his whole story.

“So, what’s the plan?” Pope questions as he looks at the letters with a flashlight. You look over his shoulder to get a look at them too.

“Good question. So, Sarah Cameron’s coming tonight. She’ll bring an original survey map-” John B starts but is cut off by Kie.

“Hold on. Sarah? Why Sarah?” John B stays silent while JJ mutters, “This is gonna be good.” You were just as confused as Kie. Why was Sarah getting involved in this? She was your friend, but she was not near as close to you as the pogues were and this was a pogue thing anyway.

“Sarah, um, she got me into the archives in Chapel Hill yesterday, and that’s where I got the letter.” John B tells her as you watch the disappointment and betrayal wash over her features.

“You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?” She asks as he agrees. Of course, JJ has to make the situation worse with his little comment, “He was mackin’ on her.”

“I wasn’t macking.”

“You were totally macking Sarah Cameron.”

“So that’s what Sarah meant earlier when she said she had a crush on someone else that wasn’t Topper,” You add before the boys go back to arguing.

“I wasn’t macking on her, okay? I was using her for access.”

“There was access, all right.”

“Did you tell her about the treasure?” Kie interrupted the two boys bickering.

“I was just trying to get into the archives.” John B defends himself, basically admitting to telling her.

“Is that a yes?” Kie pushes.

“I- I left out key details.” He still doesn’t deny telling Sarah Cameron about our secret.

“Yo, what? You let a kook in on our secret? What about pogue life? What about the t-shirt company, bro?” Kie continues as Pope and you sit back and watch it all unravel. They all continue to talk as you zone out watching the fire until Pope speaks from beside you.

“Her brother did hit me in the back with a golf club.”

“Yeah and he kissed me, slapped me, and pushed my head against a wall earlier.” The group fell silent at your confession. You didn’t realize you had spilled until the silence came over you.

“He what?” JJ spoke as he walked over to you from beside John B and Kie.

“When did this happen?” Kie asked you.

“An hour or so ago. It was right before we left. I came down and you were going off about coming here. I wasn’t going to bother you with it until later because I know how heated you get,” You say calmly as you grab his hand to make sure he doesn’t get too riled up and angry, but your attempts seem to fail.

“I’m gonna beat the shit out of him,” JJ speaks through gritted teeth as he stands to his feet.

“No, JJ.” The softness of your voice brings him back to where you stand. The tears have come back, and one manages to escape despite your efforts to not cry. The blond pulls you into his embrace where you finally break down, the hurt and pain from Rafe’s actions finally taking a toll on you. Soon, you are wrapped up in all the pogues' arms as they comforted you. Later, you and JJ left for the chateau while the other went to meet Sarah.

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” JJ asked you as you laid against his chest, his fingers fiddling with the ends of your hair.

“I didn’t want you to worry about it and if I had told you there, you would’ve fought him right then and there. I couldn’t tell you then.”

“I’m still gonna beat his ass.”

“That’s okay but be with me first. Your time for revenge will come, but don’t insinuate it. Okay? I don’t need you getting hurt more than you already are.” You lean up to rest your chin against the top of his chest as you stare into his gorgeous blue eyes. You bring your hand to rest on the side of his face, and he leans into your touch before letting out a sigh.

“Fine. I won’t do anything until it’s time.” You rubbed your thumb over his cheek softly as his eyes fluttered closed. When he opens his eyes again, they appear to be glossy.

“What’s wrong, baby?” You ask as you sit up. He follows suit, leaning against the wall.

“I never want you to have to experience what you did tonight.” His sad eyes lock with yours.

“JJ, I’m okay. It’s okay,” you speak softly, running your fingers through his smooth golden locks. You let your hand trail down the side of his face to his arm and finally, it meets his hand and your fingers interlock with his.

“It’s not okay. You may be okay, but what he did was not. I’m not going to let that happen again. I should’ve been there with you tonight, but John B-”

“John B needed you. That’s okay. Let’s just go to sleep and forget about it, all right?” He nods as the two of you go back to laying down. You rest your head back down on his chest and with the soothing sound of his heartbeat, you fall asleep in seconds.

[outrebanx]

pretend (pt.2)

JJ Maybank x female reader

Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: You cant stop thinking about JJ after spending time with him at the kegger, so you decide to seek him out.

Word count: 1.8k

Warnings: swearing, slight smut (if you squint), i think thats it?

A/N: i am not happy with this at all but im super tired and just wanted to post it so sorry in advance for the shitty writing - it also took longer than i wanted cos i didnt know where to go with the story so that was fun. Anyway i hope you like it (and feedback is always appreciated 🥺)

Tagging: @rudysbay​ @danicarosaline​ thanks for expressing interest in a second part 💙

You never thought that your mind would be occupied with JJ Maybank’s face as much as it had in the last week since the kegger you spent with him.  To be honest it made you feel a little pathetic - it was one kiss and you were almost certain he wasn’t thinking about you as he literally is known for hooking up with girls and then not speaking to them.

The more you thought about him the angrier you got with yourself and your changing moods were becoming more and more obvious to your best friend Lily.

“What’s wrong with you?” She asked from where she was lying on your bed.

“Nothing, why?”

“Oh I don’t know, maybe it’s that you look like you’re about to rip that top you’re holding in half, you keep sighing and let’s not forget I can tell when you’re lying.” She smirked at you, knowing you had to tell her now.

“Fine,” You sighed, sitting on the bed next to her, “Remember the kegger we were at last week and how I spent it with that JJ guy?”

“Yeah?”

“Well I kinda want to see him again and I’m not sure if I’m being stupid because it was the first guy I ever really spent time with after Rafe and he’s hot but I don’t know, I feel stupid because he’s probably not given me a second thought.”

Lily grabbed your hand, “Babes, I love you but you’re a mess - you don’t know if he’s thought about you if you don’t ask, so stop torturing yourself.”

You nodded your understanding, “And so I think after our lunch today you should go and find him to ask then you’ll know .”

“I might.”

“No, you will, I’m gonna make you.” Lily laughed, jabbing your side with her finger.

———

Even if it was the most kooky thing to do, you and Lily often spent your time at the country club, either to eat or play golf with your dads, especially on a nice warm day like today.

The two of you had been there for around an hour just chatting constantly when a busboy came to clear up the table. You looked up to thank him but froze when you saw the face of JJ Maybank.

“JJ! Hi.”

He didn’t even acknowledge you, instead just finished picking up your glasses and left.

You turned to Lily, “Wow he really doesn’t give a shit about our fun evening then.”

She scowled at the back of him as he walked into the building, “What a dick.”

“Should I go and talk to him? Or is that a bad idea?”

“Yes you should, otherwise I’m going to talk to him and then possibly murder him as he’s hurting my best friend.”

You smiled as you rolled your eyes at her, “Please don’t.”

She stuck her tongue out at you as you stood up and followed JJ back into the building, hoping it wasn’t too upfront and that he would at least talk to you this time.

You saw him coming out the kitchen and shouted him over, he had a slight bit of annoyance written on his face but other than that nothing you could decipher.

“What do you want Y/N?” He asked, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Oh so you do know who I am,” you scoffed, “Why are you giving me such a cold shoulder? I thought we had fun.”

You were already regretting coming to talk to him, you were never this upfront or seemingly over-involved after spending a small amount of time with a guy, so it made you very uncomfortable.

“Yeah we had fun, but you’re a kook and I’m a pogue and as you said on the night we were just pretending, so what more is there?”

He began to turn to walk away when you reached out for his arm, “We might have been pretending but this week I’ve been wanting to see you again because I thought there could be something. Maybe I was wrong though.”

This time it was his turn to grab your arm as you turned away, and before you had time to speak, his lips were on yours. The kiss was nothing like you’d ever experienced, you could feel yourself melting into his arms, losing yourself in the kiss - he tasted like the sea and it was something you wanted to taste forever.

You broke apart, both smiling like idiots as you looked at each other, “That was-“ you began to say.

“A reason I shouldn’t have been such an asshole, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, and I wouldn’t mind making this a more common thing by the way.” You smiled at him.

“Well I’m on my break now so…” he offered his hand to you.

You giggled as you took it and he dragged you towards a more secluded corridor, pushing you against the wall and put his lips on yours, his hands on your hips as he deepened the kiss. You never wanted it to end - but you didn’t always get what you wanted.

“Huh so you weren’t annoyed at him for long then?” Lily joked from where she stood at the end of the corridor, arms folded as she took in the two of you.

You gave her the finger, not noticing the look on JJ’s face as he quickly moved away from you, putting his hands back in his pockets.

You gave him a questioning look, confused as to why he seemed nervous all of a sudden.

“It’s nearing the end of my break, I should, um probably go.” He pointed in the other direction and moved to head off.

You quickly pecked his lips, muttering to him “When are you free?”

“For you, anytime.”

You laughed, “you can always come to my house later, it’s easy to find.”

He grinned at you, “Will do princess.”

He had already turned away, luckily as he wasn’t able to see the blush that had spread across your cheeks at him calling you princess.

You couldn’t stop smiling, Lily raising her eyebrows at you as you walked towards her, “Damn girl I haven’t seen you like this in forever.”

“I haven’t felt like this in forever.” You admitted, the butterflies in your stomach still going crazy.

———

Sat at home that evening, you kept looking towards the door, hoping JJ would come round. Your parents weren’t home and you were an only child so there was no need to worry about any one bothering you.

There was a knock at the door, you quickly stood up and before opening it you checked yourself out in the mirror in the hall, you nodded to yourself and moved the handle. You were met with the shy smile of the blond boy, hands in his pockets like normal as he took in the size of your house.

“I’m surprised I haven’t mowed your lawn with a house this big.” He joked but you could tell it kind of bothered him, not that you knew what to say.

“Um, come in,” you stepped back allowing him to walk through the door then headed to the kitchen with him following you, “do you want a drink or something?”

“Nah I’m good thanks,” raising his eyebrows at the large glass of wine your poured yourself.

You sat in a comfortable silence just looking at each other, unsure of what to say.

“So,” he started, “do you surf?”

He did taste of the sea so you weren’t surprised this was one of the first things he asked about.

“I used to when I was younger but then my parents decided I needed ‘other, better hobbies’, so not really, but I do miss it.”

“When you’re free I’ll happily teach you how to again.”

You smiled at him, “holy shit I’d love that! I’ll probably make a complete fool of myself but at least it’d provide you with some entertainment.”

“And I’ll get to see you in a bikini.” He smirked

“Oh I look really good you’ll definitely like it.” You flirted back.

You chatted back and forth for hours, and at some point you two had moved to the living room where you were now sitting on his lap, slowly kissing each other, enjoying every second of it.

You were interrupted by a knock at the door, “What the fuck?” You say as you remove yourself from JJ’s embrace and go to see who it is - you were met with the last face you wanted to see, Rafe Cameron.

You held out your hand before he had the chance to speak, “Nope, fuck off Rafe I don’t want to talk to you.”

“Please Y/N I want to apologise.” He pleaded.

“I couldn’t give two shits about an apology because I don’t. care. about. you. That’s why we broke up and why I don’t want to have this conversation.”

You went to shut the door, only to be stopped by his foot.

“I still love you Y/N and no matter what you say I know you love me.”

In the corner of your eye you could see JJ stand up to come and see if you needed help, you shook your head to indicate him to stop - it would only make things worse if Rafe knew JJ was there.

“No I loved you Rafe. Past tense. You made me miserable and I still loved you for so long, but not anymore, so please go.”

He stepped back, “I will get you back Y/N.”

Slamming the door on his face you muttered, “Sure you will.”

You leant against the door for a second, even talking to him for a few minutes completely drained you, how did you date him for so long?

“Hey, you good?” JJ asked from where he leant against the doorframe of the living room.

You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, “Yeah I am now.”

Removing yourself from the hug, you patted his chest, “Right that’s enough of the heavy stuff, what do you want to do?”

He smirked at you as he pressed his lips against yours, instantly wiping the thoughts about Rafe out of your mind. He lifted you up so your legs could wrap around him, your hands behind his head as he led you back towards the sofa.

You were sat on his lap and as he moved his lips over your neck you moaned, wanting him to do more.

You blushed, “thank you, you’re not too bad yourself.”

He chuckled and moved to take off your shirt - you raised your arms to make it easier before moving back in to kiss him.

It ended being one of the best nights of your life, you were so glad you pretended to be with him that night at the kegger.

[outer-bnks]

Two Burning Hearts Are Dared to Break (JJ x Original Character) Ch. 2

Chapters: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10

After a night of comforting JJ, Elle wakes to him gone with no explanation. The Pogues meetup to discuss what they’re going to say in their police interrogations. Elle hatches a plan to get them out of trouble.

Picks up after 1x10.

Warnings: swearing, mentions of child abuse/bruises from child abuse, grief, death of a loved one, talk of juvie/police interrogation

A/N: The Pogues don’t know that Rafe killed the Sheriff in this fic. Also does anyone know if the Pogues actually found out about Rafe killing her?? I don't remember seeing John B or Sarah tell them - only Topper. Anywhoo, this picks up directly after Chapter 1. 

A fight/angst scene between JJ and Elle coming in the next few chapters. 

Word count: 1,979

feedback/comments/likes/reblogs really appreciated

---- A dull, insistent buzzing woke Elle, rolling onto her side to grab her phone from her bedside table. Incoming call: Kie kie.

Still half asleep, Elle answered groggily, her head still resting on her pillow “Hello?”.

“Hey babe...uh.. how are you?”, Kie asked cautiously.

Elle sighed, the reality of their situation slapping in her in the face. The storm. John B. Sarah. JJ. Looking to her left, her bed was empty, the blonde haired boy missing.

“Alright as I can be I guess. How are you, did you manage to get any sleep?” Elle questioned, knowing that Kiara’s brain constantly working in overdrive wouldn’t have allowed her the rest she needed. The rest they all needed.

“Uhm, I got a few hours in. Oh, do you know where JJ is? Pope messaged me saying we should meet at the chateau before the questioning to sort out our stories, but he couldn’t grab a hold of JJ”. Elle sat up her, her head feeling as though it was throbbing. She looked around her room, searching for any sign that JJ was still around. Whether it was from the two hours sleep she’d gotten after she’d spent the night holding JJ, whispering words of affirmation whilst he attempted to calm down, or from the idea of having to face the police after the major shit show that had occurred over the past few days.

“Yeah J spent the night with me, but”, moving from her bed and down the stairs, she checked each room she passed to see whether he had snuck off during the night or had woken up and left her so not to disturb her, “It looks like he’s gone”. Now in the kitchen there was no sign of JJ. No plates or pans left over from a possible breakfast, no sound coming from the TV, Elle thinks if he was still here the TV would definitely be on. JJ had always preferred some kind of sound on to distract him when he’d been feeling any other than his usual self.

“Oh ok.” Kie paused, racking her brain to come up with their next steps. “I’ll check by all our usual places and meet at the Chateau in 20?”.

“Yeah, sounds good. See you then”, Elle didn’t waste any time, heading back to her room to get ready for the, probably disastrous, day ahead of her. 

------

The drive to the Chateau felt excruciatingly long. Jumbled thoughts ran round and round in Elle’s head, trying to conjure up a plan that would decriminalise John B and get Ward the retribution he needed. 

Pulling in, a wave of emotion rushed over her. Her heart sinking into her stomach, their place of sanctuary, that held every memory that the Pogues had together, was now empty of life and cold.

Pope enveloped Elle in a tight hug as soon as he saw her in the doorway. Placing his face in her shoulder and squeezing slightly before letting go. 

Wordlessly, they moved over to the couch on the porch, taking a seat. Elle broke the silence first “Is Kie here yet?”.

A flicker of pain crossed Pope’s features, looking towards the water, “Nah, she’s still looking for JJ”. Silence followed, guilt crawling its way into Elle’s thoughts. She had one job. To make sure JJ was okay. And she couldn’t even do that. “Right...” she answered, looking out to the water, bringing her bottom lip into her mouth out of habit.

“Where would he even take off too? I thought he stayed with you last night?” he questioned. Elle studied his face, trying to decipher if he was mad. But there was no accusation or underlying frustration in his tone. 

Elle nodded, “He came back to mine after the, uh.. the storm. Woke up to Kie’s phone call and he was gone”. Pope picked up on the sadness that was laced in her answer, wondering if there was more to the story than she led on.

As if on cue, Kie’s four wheel drive turned into the driveway. Elle’s eyes not leaving the car, waiting to see if she had found him. 

Begrudgingly, JJ exited the passenger side. Wearing a clean white t-shirt that clung to his toned body, his usual style of shorts and boots adorning the lower half of his body, his trusty red hat pulling his hair out of his face. He must’ve gone home and changed. Elle felt herself release a breath of relief at the sight of him, simultaneously cringing at the thought of him leaving her this morning to return to that house, instinctively searching his body for any visible signs of new marks or bruises.

Stepping up onto the porch, Kie and Elle embraced in a hug, a rare moment of affection between the girls. Usually they showed their love for eachother through words and actions, but at this moment Elle didn���t know if there were any words left.

JJ walked straight past the pair, nodding at Pope in acknowledgement and plopping himself down in the chair to the left of the couch. Taking a puff from his jule and blowing out while keeping his eyes on the backyard.

Kie took Elle’s seat next to Pope, Elle choosing to stand against the railing of the fence. Glancing at JJ, she studied him, waiting for him to turn and acknowledge her. She felt a strong pang of hurt when he made an obvious effort to keep his eyes on anything but her, his jaw clenching and releasing a breath of smoke.

The tension went unnoticed by the others as Pope spoke up “We need to get our story straight before we get dragged into questioning. They’re gonna want to know everything, and I don’t know about you guys, but I really don’t want to go to jail for being an accessory to crimes, for stealing, for trespassing or for any other illegal shit we did. I can’t.”

“Why can’t you, it’s not like you’re getting that stupid scholarship anyway”, JJ responded. An air of arrogance and disregard around him. 

Pope scoffed in disbelief, “Yo that scholarship was the only thing that was going to get me out of this fucking place! And I lost it, for the gold that we didn’t even get. I didn’t lose that scholarship for me, I lost that scholarship for us!” 

“Pope” Kie tried to mediate.

“No, Kie. Just because I lost the scholarship doesn’t mean I’m happy to spend the rest of my life rotting away in a cell.” Pope responded, looking between his friends.

Silence filled the group.

“You’re right Pope.” Elle interjected. 

Pope abruptly turned his head to her. “What?” 

“You’re right. You have so much potential. You actually can get out of this place. You’ve got too much to lose. You shouldn’t have to take the blame for this.” 

Pope and Kie shared a look of confusion, JJ still maintaining his avoidance of his friends looks.

Kie, tied her hair up, the North Carolina heat getting to her “What do you propose then E?”

Elle looked at each of her friends, organising her thoughts. Did she want to go through with this? Was this going to come back to bite her in the ass? Definitely. Was she willing to go through with this to save the only friends she had left? Of course. “I’ll take the blame”.

“What, are you serious?”

“No, you’re not doing that!”

JJ was the only one not to speak out. His gaze finally shifting from the horizon to look at her. She searched his face. For anything. Any kind of emotion, but found nothing.

“I’ll take all the blame. Look, if we admitted that we all had a part in this, then we’ll get in the shit. It’ll be put on record, and even though we’re minors, this county isn’t going to just forget it. We’ll probably get tried as adults, where they can really charge us for the things we’ve done”.

“E, stop.”

“No Kie, listen”

“If Pope admits to it, his future is gone. It’s hard enough to get into a college when you’re from the Cut, not to mention a criminal from the Cut.” Pope nodded, agreeing with her points, but his face held a look of slight concern.

“Same with JJ. And after already being arrested so recently, he’s sure to get thrown straight into juvie. And if not, he has to return home.” Elle’s tone showed that returning home might be just as bad as juvie, if not worse.

JJ rose from his seat, pointing a finger at her, “Don’t Elle. Don’t bring my Dad into this” maintaining eye contact. “We got ourselves into this shit, for someone who’s dead, why should we pay for it at all? They killed him and Sarah. Not us. I say we don’t speak at all. Pull that ‘5th amendment or I’m waiting for my lawyer shit’ that they do in movies”.

Everyone felt the blow of him speaking about John B and Sarah like that. But Elle considered his idea. It wasn’t horrible. If none of them spoke, what would they do? What could they do? But surely, knowing Shoupe and the way they relentlessly chased John B down, there was no way they were gonna let Peterkin’s murder fly under the radar. 

“That’s not going to work JJ. They’re going to keep pressing and pressing until one of us cracks. Why not beat them to it?” Elle responded.

“Wait, why can’t we just blame John B and Sarah?” JJ asked, oblivious to how inconsiderate a question like that was right now.

Kie shot back immediately, “For killing the Sheriff? Because they didn’t do it you asshole!”.

JJ rolled his eyes, his ignorance clear in his words, “No not for that, just for everything else, they’re already dead, what’s the har-” he asked with a shrug. It wasn’t what he was suggesting, it was how he was talking about them. 

Kie cut him off “Stop saying that they’re dead, you don’t know that JJ!”

JJ shook his head in disbelief, “I do know it. And so do all of you. You’re kidding yourselves if you think they could’ve survived that fucking storm. Don’t be so gullible, they’re never coming back!”.

Raising his voice, Pope shouted, “Enough!” cutting off the conversation.

A deeper sombre mood fell over the group. No one knowing what to say or what to address. The conversation had led to the truth that none of them wanted to acknowledge.

Ignoring the outburst, Elle continued, “Kie, if you admit it, you’re going to be in deep shit too. Except you have Kook privilege and will still probably be able to get into college, or go overseas to build homes and schools in third world countries. And that’s the same for me. My Dad’s probably already hired some fancy hot-shot lawyer and hopefully we’ll get off with a slap on the wrist. As long as they know we had nothing to do with Peterkin, and we tell the truth about Ward, we’ll be fine”.

“Yeah, sure, we’ll be fine” JJ sarcastically laughed, sitting back down on the chair. But instead he kept his eyes on Elle, making her shift with nerves.

Focusing on Pope and Kie, Elle quirked an eyebrow, silently questioning if they agreed with her idea. Looking at each other, a silent conversation was had. 

“Ok, I’m in. But my parents are going to ground me for life when they have to pick me up from juvie”, Kie stood, walking up to the railing beside her and taking a deep breath. 

Elle turned to the boys, waiting for their disapproval. JJ took another puff of his jule, blowing the smoke out and avoiding the group. Pope sighed, knowing that this was the best option they had right now. “Alright, talk us through the plan then, Mrs 007”.

----

let me know if you want to be on the Taglist, this is going to be a longgg fic haha

Taglist: @mybillyhardgrove

[mareshmallow]

Beauty and the Beast (not really) Pt II

Part I

Her prison cell wasn’t a cell at all, but rather a modest, plush bedroom.

Mare tried to hide her surprise when Cal led her up to the east wing as he called it and not down into some filthy cell. Sure the room was grand and all, but it was still something to keep her contained. That was further evidenced by the click of the lock which Cal had shut.

He had left an hour ago and barely said anything which suited Mare just fine. Her time inside her comfortable prison had been spent looking around for any manner of escape. All she had come up with was a few tied up bedsheets. Her room was located at the top of a tower, and unlike the princess who had managed to get down with her ridiculously long hair, that seemed very scientifically impossible to Mare.

She huffed in annoyance and boredom as she wandered the sitting room for the fifth time in the past hour. It was a large space with two flower printed sofa’s, a few table stands and one glass coffee table supported by elegantly carved metal legs in shapes of vines and fruits. The ceiling was painted in a sky blue accented with gold. The walls were coated in a flowery print which Mare thought looked ridiculous. The amount of flowery things in this room was ridiculous. Thank goodness she didn’t have allergies or else the situation would have been much more miserable.

Mare scanned the room, hoping to stumble across some secret passage of sorts. In her novels, castle’s were filled with them. All she needed to do was find them. A rattling sound outside of the door halted her in her tracks. Mare dove for the sofa and snatched up a book that had been laying on the coffee table all the while trying to look as inconspicuous as possible.

The charade of a calm appearance was all for naught as a cart strolled in with a teapot and cup seemingly all on it’s own. Mare furrowed her brows as she came to inspect the cart. What the hell was this even? Did Cal send this? Mare had an inkling that there was more to this castle than met the eye.

“Are you just going to sit there or can I leave now?” a voice said seemingly out of thin air. Mare jumped and scrambled away. Instinct screamed at her to pull out the knife her father gave her, but what good would that do against an invisible target? Besides, she was saving it for that Beast.

To her disbelief, the pot turned at gave her the most unamused expression she had ever seen. It raised a painted brow and Mare resisted the urge to collapse in shock. “You-you…” was all she could get out. The pot rolled it’s eyes. “Yes, yes I’m a talking appliance, now let’s get on with it,” it said dismissively. “Do you prefer sugar with your tea?” it asked, ignoring Mare’s openmouthed stare. It turned it’s gaze on her with exasperation. “I don’t have all day, what do you want?”

Mare gulped down her fear and confusion. She would have to sort that out later. “I don’t want your tea. What I want is information,” she said carefully. She could’ve sworn it’s lips tilted upwards into a small smile.

“Well at least you’ve got somewhat of a brain on you. I was starting to wonder,” she commented. She bristled at that. Mare couldn’t help but think that this was truly a terrible day if she was being berated by a teapot. “And where’s your brain? Lodged in your spout perhaps?” she spit back. Her fingers itched towards the knife. She had no idea what this strange talking teapot was capable of.

The teapot let out a whistling noise in what she assumed was a sound of amusement. “That knife won’t help you much, girl.” As if in response, the cutting knives that lay on the tray spun in an neat arc, their edges gleaming in the soft rays of sunlight. It was menacing to say the least. Mare gritted her teeth and stepped back, acknowledging her defeat.

“That’s a good girl, very smart of you,” the teapot said. “Now, do stay right here. They’ll be here to address you shortly.” With that said, the cart wheeled itself out. Mare let out a deep sigh of frustration. She did not want to see him again, for she was fairly certain she wouldn’t be able to contain herself before the time was right. Doubt wormed its way into her heart no matter how hard she tried to fight it though. When it came down to it, when the perfect moment really did present itself, would she be strong enough to use the blade? To be haunted by the memory of blood on her hands till the rest of her days?

Cal was an unpleasant person, but could she really kill someone?

It doesn’t matter, she thought. I’ll find out.

Mare slumped into the bed feeling utterly exhausted. The past few hours had been so strange that Mare was convinced that this was all a bad dream. Well, she had thought that until she cut herself with the knife to prove that this was her new demented reality. Mare idly rubbed her fingers over the cut. It would definitely leave a scar, but she didn’t mind.

Another slight rustle at the door made Mare jump. She then settled herself to sit in, refusing to stand for him. It was a small childish act of rebellion but she couldn’t help but feel resistant. When the door swung open, Mare didn’t look. The clomping of feet didn’t sound like him though, compared to his graceful steps, almost dancer-like she thought. No, this was someone else. She turned her head but to her surprise she couldn’t see anyone. Out of panic, she jumped from the bed, grabbing a pillow though she wasn’t sure how much use it would be.

She peered down at the floor only to inch back in shock. No, no, no, there’s absolutely no way this is happening, she thought. You’ve been confined in a strangers castle for plucking a rose, seen a walking, talking teapot, her mind hissed. And this is the strangest thing you’ve claimed to have experienced?

Unfortunately her mind did have a point. But that did not provide an explanation as to what was before her. 

“Sorry miss, did I startle you?” the candelabra inquired, peering up at Mare who could only stare back in shock. It–he–had a thick french accent. The small clock next to him rolled his eyes, it’s hands twitching in annoyance. “Oh no, of course not. This is just another ordinary day for her, you know? Conversing with candelabra and teapots and the like,” it spit with sarcasm.

The candelabra shot the clock a glare. “I was only trying to be polite. Thanks for that captain obvious.” The clock let out an exasperated hiss. Or at least Mare thought it sounded like a hiss. “Honestly Rafe, why do you have to do this now?”

“Um I’m not the one making such a big deal out it?”

“I’m not making a big deal out of it!”

The candle raised it’s eyebrows.

“Well you–!”

“Okay, okay,” Mare said once she finally shook herself out her dazed stupor. She held out her hand, gesturing for them to stop. Their words halted and they looked at her, like they had forgotten she was there at all. Mare tried not to bristle at that.

“You weren’t supposed to be here anyway,” the candelabra muttered.

“God knows what you’d do without me, possibly terrorized this poor girl,” the clock shot back.

“I said enough,” Mare repeated, this time with an edge sharpening her tone. They paused at that, finally giving her their attention. “First off, don’t speak about me like I’m not here, secondly stop your pointless bickering, and lastly, where is the–” Mare hesitated. She couldn’t very well call him beast, could she? “–Owner of this castle?” she demanded, feeling out the new words. Oh did she have many names for him, but being disrespectful wouldn’t help her much. She knew she would need help, and that began with determining where his staff’s loyalties lay. 

“Er,” the candelabra stuttered while the clock shuffled nervously beside it.

Mare raised a brow.

“He’s in the west wing,” it said at last, almost reluctantly. This had to be important information, Mare thought. But how?

“What is in the west wing?” she asked, feeling her eyebrows narrow in curiosity. “It matters not, my lady,” the clock cut in smoothly. That only rose her suspicions. “Come now, dinner awaits us.”

“Dinner?”

“Yes dinner, a formal evening meal, typically held in honour of a person of importance, though it may also be casual–”

“I know what dinner is,” Mare snapped. “I want to know why he wishes for my presence. Aren’t I his prisoner?”

“Are you being held or tortured in a cell?”

“No.”

“Are you not at this very moment being kindly invited to a wonderful dinner by two of the most handsomest appliances you’ve ever seen?”

“That debatable actu–”

“I don’t see the problem, and you must be starving,” the candelabra added. He held out a still burning candle stick as a handshake. Mare shied away from the flame. “My name’s Rafe by the way, and this grumpy buzzkill,” he nodded to his right, “is Tyton.” Tyton grunted as a way of a formal greeting. “The charming pot that was just in here goes by Farley though her first name is Diana. Call her that though and you’ll find that you’ll probably be dead by morning surrounded by her favourite knives and tea bags.”

“She’s sweet once you get to know her,” Tyton offered. Rafe snorted. “Yeah and I’m as cool as a cucumber. Helloo,” he waved his flaming hand, “oh wait, I’m literally on fire.”

Tyton didn’t respond to him. Instead he turned to Mare. “In truth, the Master does not know of this and we intend to keep it that way. Think of it a gesture of kindness.” He smiled warmly at her.

Mare dragged her eyes around the room. It was the finest she’d ever been in, but that did not change or help to ease the truth as to why she was there. To serve time for a foolish crime. As if reading her thoughts, Tyton said gently, “it is only a prison if you make it so.”

Mare hated to admit it but feeding her thoughts on hate wouldn’t do much for her growling stomach. But if she was to escape, she couldn’t very well be a sack of bones running through those woods alone.

While this was still the place keeping her confined, that didn’t mean she couldn’t spin it to her advantage. That began with investigating the mysterious west wing and its secrets. Hopefully it contained a tool in helping her to rid the world of the beast for good.

But before she could do any of that, she needed to eat.

Mare stood, dusting off her skirts.

Tyton beamed while Rafe only gave her a lazy smile and gestured at the door. 

“Be our guest.”

*** This is hella late but I’m tagging @breebarrcw, @lilyharvord, @maudthebookeater, @chaoslaborantin, @redqueenfandom, @iris-cygnets.

[angelsaxis]

Spoilers for King’s Cage but I have Thoughts and I want to know if anyone feels the same way.

For real though like. Mare’s introspection is so BAD sometimes. Let a 17/18 year old just talk like a normal teenager. Not everything is existential. Part of the reason people don’t like mare is because of how redundant she can be (especially towards the end of RQ/all of GS OH BOY)

And I feel like Cal isn’t really even present in these books. Like yeah he’s Mare’s love interest but he doesn’t read like he has much of a...personality. To me. Like sometimes it feels like he’s just There. He definitely goes through character development but everything that happens is mostly wrt how much people hate him and I feel like KC would have benefited 

I can’t even see Cal’s “betrayal” as what we’re meant to see it as--bad, horrible, and a dirty thing to “do” to Mare. It didn’t even seem like to me that Cal was in any position to decline the crown. They both acknowledge that Mare has problems and needs help, but then why do they both seem to think that they could make the relationship work beyond that? They have their opposite sides with Cal’s inherent ties to the throne (whether he wants them or not) and Mare’s inherent repulsion by royalty, especially because of the shit she took from Evangeline and Maven.

If they hadn’t split up over that, it would have been over Maven, and I think I honestly would have preferred that as a plot point. The two/VA spent the entirety of their being together in the last parts of the book kind of dancing around the subject of Maven and what exactly will happen once one of them gets their hands on him. Mare wants him dead, clearly. Cal doesn’t, clearly. But all we get is Mare going “lmao he wants to heal maven and it’s probably not gonna happen” and then nothing afterwards.

Guaranteed if they had talked about it instead of avoiding it, they likely would have broken up over the fact that Mare wants to kill Cal’s brother and Cal just can’t bring himself to hate him. That’s a fight that I would have preferred, honestly. 

In terms of other characters, though, I genuinely liked Evangeline’s POV, and to a lesser degree, Cameron’s. But then it just made it difficult to go through Mare’s POV because unless she was interacting with Maven, it was just boring (except for the brief positivity of her going to Piedmont)--and her narration is aggravating as hell. There are so many fragments that could flow more smoothly as sentences and everything is written like it’s meant to be quotable.

I’m not upset at Maven’s being bi (and I’ve noticed that people are all ok with Maven being bi but enraged at Evangeline being a lesbian lmao). It makes sense because Thomas was brought up in RQ and there’s every possibility that Maven did actually love him, but used “friend” For Reasons. 

Evangeline’s being a lesbian was...tough, to accept though. She’s just been such a vile, antagonistic character for so long that I haven't’ found a single other lesbian that’s actually okay with her (kind of randomly) being gay. It just makes it look like she was made into a lesbian for Progressive Points and not for any real concern for LGBT+ characters--although I do like the fact that Rafe is clearly gay lmao. 

As a random note, Cal and Mare’s first time was so dumb lmao it was raining and they were covered in mud and sweat. Mare probably has an infection now tbh.

Farley’s character change was kind of fast though, and I can’t help but think that it was directly related to her being pregnant. I like that she’s less petty and unnecessarily antagonistic now (there were some points where I really couldn’t stand her) but she’s done almost a complete 180 and it’s a bit weird to see her trying to hug people.

Cameron’s character progression came off as more natural, and I’m glad that she, Mare, and Farley are all getting along better now. Too bad she still comes off as just an angry black girl. 

And speaking of black people--or POC in general in this book--primarily, I’m glad that there’s more both foreground and background characters that are not white. It’s still extremely noticeable that all the Silvers are heavily white coded and the Reds are all heavily nonwhite coded, though. And Mare’s race lowkey changed? She’d gone from what could be called “regular white” to “golden brown” and “brown” (while the rest of her family conspicuously remains white). All of the other nonwhite characters wouldn’t even fall into the “black” category because they’re generally described as being dark but having completely straight hair, so it’s clear they’re meant to be vaguely ethnic and left at that.

Victoria Aveyard clearly has a fetish for oily/shiny black men. Like. It’s so painfully obvious. She can’t ever say someone has dark brown skin, it’s “deep black. Super dark. DARK DARK DARK with SHINY SWEAT and SHINY REFLECTIVE SKIN” lmao it was so awkward at one point that there would really be two presumably black princes that have “blue-black skin” and that Cameron would constantly be pointing out that she’s dark (newsflash: we don’t think about how dark we are all the time lmao).

In the end I think I just want more Maven/Mare interaction, but with a POV that’s from Maven’s POV. There’s so many things that he acknowledges about himself--the fact that he’s more obsessed than he is in love, the fact that Mare doesn’t like him, the fact that he knows how he’s expressing his love isn’t healthy and it’s entirely a direct result of his mother’s manipulations--that would make for a really interesting narration to me. 

[smokydrake]

“Friendly Neighborhood Watch” | Young Sam x Reader | FLUFF

WARNINGS: suggestive, language

WORD COUNT: 6,485

DESCRIPTION: There are four days left of school before Graduation Day. It’s so goddamn obvious you and your childhood best friend Samuel Drake feel the same thing for each other… but you won’t say anything because you don’t want to risk your established friendship, and Sam doesn’t want to say anything because he can’t risk giving himself away. But when two people are a perfect match for each other, some things are bound to be revealed sooner or later.

This is technically Part 2 of “Trick of the Light”, but you don’t have to read that in order to understand this (regardless I’ll still leave the link to it below). I’m really pleased with how this one came out because it just makes my heart so happy like aw Sam :,)) It switches between Reader and Samuel so sorry if it’s kinda unclear as to whose POV you’re reading from haha *sweats intensely*

And I also wanna tag @le-ephemere @hyperionbabe @a-n-g-e-l-frommynightmare and @nataliarmnov because you guys are SO NICE and left such sweet comments on Part 1 ily please enjoy

Trick of the Light

Inspired by this song (Rather Be With You - Sinead Harnett)

The only reason why you were with Rafe Adler in the first place was because you were lonely.

Well, more like the one guy you were ever seriously in to never paid attention to you the way you wanted him to, and conveniently, Rafe Adler transferred to your shithole high school and you thought he’d be a lovely distraction.

Except that, despite getting together with Rafe, you still couldn’t get over your one true crush.

The boy next door, your childhood sweetheart, your best friend: Samuel Drake.

You remember precisely when you started crushing hard on that boy. You were in middle school, still in your semi-awkward tween stage, lost in the masses of equally confused prepubescent boys and girls trying to find their places in the social hierarchy. Sam was one of the popular kids; he and his little brother were both notorious for their mischievous methods of cutting class and their bright, cheeky grins. Always the one with extravagant (although mostly exaggerated) tales of adventures, it was expected for girls and boys to flock around Samuel Drake. His heady Bostonian voice and loopy grin managed to light up any room he walked into; Samuel Drake had this laid-back, passionate, and approachable dynamic.

And on top of that… it was almost painful how good-looking he was.

So when senior year of high school rolled around, it wasn’t a surprise that he’d be quarterback of the varsity football team and “Class Clown” in the annual yearbook. You can’t remember how many girls approached you, asking for your help as wing woman because you were his best friend. It was pathetic. One, because you felt used and grew wary whenever girls were friendly with you, two, because, well, you liked Samuel Drake, and you refused to be lumped into the same absurd group of those fanatical girls.

You knew it was petty. Using Rafe, who was a pretty decent guy (although occasionally quite full of himself) as a twisted form of self-preservation and a defense mechanism against rejection. Hell, it was plain shitty: you kissed him the night of the homecoming game knowing that the star quarterback was watching just to prove a nonexistent point. Sam probably didn’t even care that you were dating Rafe. He was always messing around with other girls, girls who were cheer captains and homecoming queens, gorgeous girls equally as popular as Sam.

It hurt you to feel this way for Sam; it was impossible for him to be romantically interested in you because you guys were best friends. There was nothing you could do. You had a thing for him, and it wasn’t like those little things that went away with time; it was one of those big things, the ones that you couldn’t control.

-

A light knocking on the wooden table interrupts your carefully-curated method of memorizing the historical timeline of the ancient Persian wars for your upcoming final exam.

Looking up from your history textbook, Samuel Drake, wearing his stupid half-smile and his stupid denim jacket that you’ve poked fun of countless times (yet love to see him in), lazily slides into the empty lunch table seat in front of you. You pull an earbud from your left ear.

“Hello? Anyone home?” He waves at you ridiculously, peering behind nonexistent windows and doorways.

“Wrong house,” you answer wryly.

Knowing that he now has your attention, Sam scoots forward in his seat and leans his chin on his knuckles. “Hi neighbor,” he says simply, almost suspiciously.

You raise an eyebrow, holding up a hand to stop him from saying anything more. “Not so fast. I know you’re up to something.”

He laughs a hearty laugh, and you feel his shoes underneath the table bump against your ankles when he leans back. Something skips in your chest. “You are too smart for your own good, y'know that?”

A smile triumphantly crosses your face. “I do know that.”

He narrows his eyes jokingly at you, and then shakes his head. “No one likes a know-it-all. You goin' to Nadine’s grad party tonight?” He then frowns and turns his attention to your open textbook. “Jeez, Y/N. We’re graduating in four days. And you’re still studying?” He flicks through a couple of pages, losing your reading spot.

“Hey!” You swat at his hands and yank the book from his grasp, earning you a poorly hidden grin. “You know, colleges can still decline acceptance if you have shit grades. So yes, I am studying. And thanks a lot, you lost my page.”

He winks at you. “No problem, I do my best.”

You roll your eyes at him, but you’re anything but upset. This is normal; Sam being happy-go-lucky about everything that you rarely ever see him serious, and you being the one constantly trying to keep him out of trouble. It is just another day spent with Samuel Drake and his carefree nature, dealing with his playful antics, and secretly being head-over-heels smitten with him.

“Hey but for real. Please go. I don’t wanna be lonely,” he pouts at you.

You sigh, abandoning your history notes. “I dunno. She’s kinda intimidating.”

At this, Sam scoffs. “C’mon, Nadine’s the nicest person ever. Sort of. But whatever, I heard there’s gonna be a shit-ton of booze,” he wiggles his eyebrows.

“Ew, stop that,” you scrunch your nose, reaching out to hold his squirming eyebrows in place with your thumbs.

“Why? You don’t find it attractive?”

“No!” Your scowl grows into a giggle, and Sam laughs at your laughing. You shove his shoulder once, playfully, and then he pinches your dimples with a thumb and forefinger. “Fine, I’ll think about it,” you finally say.

Sam raps his fingers on the edge of the table. “Sweet. Where’s Rafe?”

“He’s in the library studying.”

“Not here with you?”

You shrug, unconcerned. It didn’t even cross your mind that Rafe isn’t with you until Sam had brought it up.

You two sit at the table quietly, unsure where to continue with conversation. Normally, there aren’t many awkward silences between you two. But, ever since that night, things have been a little… different.

The night you caught Sam watching you touch yourself.

In all honesty, what you did was partially in the spur of the moment and partially somewhat thought out. You had heard the ping of your text notifications, one unread message from a Sam Drake, and you just happened to have noticed him at his window, merely a dark figure shadowed by his almost-closed blinds. Driven by your high, you found his gaze and held onto it, turned on by the fact that he was watching you. Little did he know that it was him in your thoughts, doing all sorts of unsayable things to you.

You both have yet to acknowledge it. So far, you’ve been acting as if nothing happened. Sam is doing the same. You’re not sure what will happen if you say something about it, and part of you doesn’t want to know. But what you do know for sure is that there are new tensions between you and Samuel Drake, and they cannot be contained for long.

Sam opens his mouth to say something, but then the shrill ringing of the lunch bell interrupts his train of thought. He closes his lips with a tight smile and gets up from the table. “Later neighbor,” he calls to you with a flash of a smile before disappearing into the crowd of chattering backpacks and textbooks.

-

“Hey, what are you supposed to wear to grad parties anyway?”

At the sound of her voice, Samuel’s ears perked up. Dramatically, he turned in his swivel chair to see Y/N leaning out the window of her room, her elbows resting on the white windowsill and lips pressed into a perfect pout. Sam’s blinds were up and his window was open too, giving him full view of her room a couple of meters across from his. Her hair was curled and pinned up with rollers, and Samuel thought she looked stupid adorable.

He checked the digital clock on his desk. It was 6:40pm, and the sun was drowning itself in the invasive night sky. He shrugged at the girl next door. “Hell if I know. Check that Pinspiration site, or whatever.” He threw a crumpled math worksheet through his window at her, which she batted away with ease, conditioned by years of practice.

“Ha, nice try. It’s in your yard,” she teased, pointing at the small wad of paper near the bottom side of his fence. Then she made a face at him. “Wait, did you seriously just say Pinspiration? Sam, it’s called Pinterest.”

He grinned quietly, pretending to turn his attention back to the video playing on his desktop. He heard her groan and mutter something under her breath before turning away from the window.

He cherished moments like this: how casual they were with each other. But time was ticking. They were graduating in just a handful of days. Afterwards, summer would fly by in the blink of an eye, and then she’d be gone, off to an Ivy League in the south. He had gotten a football scholarship to a college on the East Coast, and he calculated; he’d be 2,660 miles away from home.

Away from her.

It stabbed at his chest every time he thought about it. He was happy here. Of course, he was also excited for college, but he knew that there would be no place like home. It was only a matter of time before they would have to part ways, and he wasn’t sure how well he was going to handle good-byes.

Something light smacked against his hair, hitting the floor at his feet with a small thunk.

“Take that, Samuel Drake!” Her voice rang again, this time louder and full of glee. She had chucked her own paper ammunition at him, catching him off guard as he swam through his dismal thoughts.

Sam turned to the window again and raised both eyebrows. He reached to swipe the crumpled ball from the ground and leaned back in his chair, shaking his head at her as she did a little dance of victory. She had taken the rollers out, and her hair cascaded down her shoulders and curved against her rosy cheeks. He bit his lip out of habit, wishing that he could keep her forever.

“Now pay attention to me,” she huffed. “How’s this?” She called to him, pushing back her powder blue curtains so that he could get a better look. She was wearing a sleeveless top and a casual pair of jeans, and he admired how she could make something so simple look so effortlessly sexy.

“Great,” he replied coolly, masking the effect she had on him. “You ready to go? I can give you a ride.”

He hoped she would say yes. He drove a motorcycle: a silver Suzuki 500cc that he absolutely loved to death. He had only taken her on it once. He remembered distinctly what it was like to have the icy wind slice at his skin while her warm arms were wrapped tightly around his body. Those were probably the two best feelings in the whole entire world.

But she just shook her head and waved a dismissive hand at him. “It’s okay, my friends are taking me tonight. I’ll just meet you there?”

“Sure,” He said back, getting up from his seat to stretch his arms and to hide his disappointment. “See you in a few.”

-

Nadine’s party is huge. You’re not talking about the house itself; it’s a cookie-cutter two story like yours, but the party… it’s the biggest bash you’ve ever laid your eyes upon.

Her house is brightly lit, thudding energetically with the beat of R&B and crowded with cars parked dangerously along the curb. Teenagers line the front lawn, in the open garage, on the roof; it’s almost chaotic.

“Shit, this place is sick,” your friends squeal, eagerly linking their arms through both of your elbows.

You and your small group work your way inside the house, pushing through the huddled groups of people, some sober, some utterly wasted. Couples hide behind not-so-hidden corners making out, and somewhere at the back of the house, you can hear ecstatic hollering after a round of beer pong. You can’t help but laugh; Nadine’s is something straight out of a 90’s high school chick flick.

You and your friends are finally in the living room, and everywhere you look, there are just people, more people, and even more people. Coincidentally, you make eye contact with Nadine Ross, prom queen two years in a row and salutatorian of your class, lounging on her sofa with her enviously attractive group of friends. She gives you a welcoming grin and you return it to the best of your abilities, secretly giddy at the fact that you’ve been acknowledged by the Nadine Ross.

Your friend at your right elbow tugs at your arm and points across the room. “Ooh, girl, there’s your man,” she coos.

For a second, you think of Sam. Your heart does a little dance, but when you turn your gaze, it’s not who you’re thinking of. Instead, your darkly handsome and lean boyfriend, Rafe Adler, stands in the kitchen, chatting with a couple of his lacrosse teammates, bumping fists and red Solo cups. You blush when your friends tease you, embarrassed by their suggestive remarks.

“Go get ‘em, tiger,” your other friend jokes, bumping your hip towards Rafe in the kitchen. Before you can even refuse, they’re gone, off mingling with others in an instant. You sigh, secretly amused by their playfulness as you wiggle your way through dancing bodies and sloshing alcoholic drinks.

You’re about to call out to Rafe when you catch the familiar tuft of messy brown hair and easy eyes from the corner of your eyesight. Samuel Drake leans against the dimly lit wall a little to your right, barely visible behind some vaguely familiar band kids passing around a blunt.

Butterflies float happily in your stomach. Rafe forgotten, you turn towards Sam’s direction with a grin on your face. You make your way through the band kids, peering over tall heads before you spot him.

Him and Crystal.

You stop in your tracks just before the two of them notice you. Sam has his hand on her waist and she is close, very close, to him that her blonde hair is pressed against his jawline.

Crystal was only one of the many pretty girls Sam has been on and off with in the past. She was one of the recurring ones, the ones that you saw Sam kiss goodbye on his motorcycle, saw Sam argue with, saw Sam make up with, saw Sam bring back home in the dead of the night. Crystal was his problematic favorite and your problematic problem.

You feel a sharp plummet in your stomach. You want to unsee them together, but you can’t. So you retreat quietly, disappearing from their line of sight.

As you turn to weave through the band kids again, your mood makes a significant turn for the worse. You feel left out and ignored. Sam invited you here tonight, for what? He looked happy with Crystal. Seeing them together served as a reminder that he saw you, vulnerable and dressed in nothing but moonlight, but still felt nothing for you.

You are almost frustrated to the point of tears. Blinking your eyes furiously, you push your way to the kitchen where Rafe is and wave him down. He takes notice of you quickly, and you are thankful for the distraction.

“Y/N,” Your boyfriend calls, reaching out to wrap an arm around your shoulder. “Hey stranger,” he smiles easily, handing you his cup in hand.

You take a swig at the drink and peck his cheek. You know it’s awful. You’re playing Rafe, keeping him around so that you won’t feel lonely. What you have with him is nothing like what you have with Sam; the chemistry isn’t as natural. But you’re tired of waiting for someone who doesn’t love you the way you love them. You’ve been playing this game of chase for too long… maybe it was time to put it in the past.

-

It shouldn’t have mattered, should’ve it?

Y/N was dating Rafe, and he was dating Crystal.

No, “dating” wasn’t the right term for it– Samuel was talking to Crystal. They weren’t official or anything like that; just a boy and a girl looking for something to keep themselves occupied with in the meantime.

Why was he so annoyed?

He had to admit. He wasn’t expecting Crystal to be at the party, let alone get distracted by her presence and easy conversation. What he really wanted was to get a chance to spend his final high school nights with, Y/N, the girl of his dreams, and then take her home on his motorcycle, where he’d get the chance to tell her how he really felt.

But it was harder than it sounded.

Occasionally, he would look around while Crystal was talking, casually searching the perimeter for Y/N. She was nowhere in sight… oh. There she was.

Y/N was in the kitchen, drinking whatever cheap liquor Nadine had lining the cluttered countertops. Rafe was there too, knocking back shots. Samuel noticed that she was drinking heavily, laughing with her boyfriend inaudibly over the pounding music.

She was never like this.

Samuel knew that Y/N wasn’t the best at holding down her alcohol. Two or three shots, tops. But at the alarming rate she was going at… things were not going to end well.

He was getting worried, anxious. What was she doing? She usually knew her limits… she was always the sensible one between the two of them.

“Hey, Sam.”

Samuel turned to look at Crystal who now stood further away from him. Her small arms were crossed and her languid body faced his, but her blue eyes were elsewhere. He followed her line of sight, and saw that she too was looking at Y/N in the kitchen.

“You have feelings for her, don’t you?”

Her tone wasn’t accusatory, nor was it angry.

Samuel didn’t know what to say. He had never said it out loud before.

“It’s really not that hard, you know. To tell her.”

Samuel laughed dryly at this. He didn’t mean for it to sound so scornful, but it did. “What? I don’t know what--”

She shook her head at him apathetically. “Stop. Just stop it.”

He looked at her. Really looked at her. Crystal was a girl that he had spent a lot of time with only because the girl he really wanted wasn’t for him to call his. Now, looking at her, he realized that she not only was she attractive; she was observant, keen, and probably better off without him.

She only stared back, and the two of them stood there, looking at each other with mutual dispassion.

“You need to stop lying to yourself, Sam. It doesn’t help anybody.”

She was first to walk away, and Samuel knew that she wouldn’t be coming back. And he was thankful for that in a bittersweet way.

-

“SHIT, THE COPS!”

“EVERYONE, GET OUT!”

You’re not exactly sure what that means.

Oh, wait– something bad. You should maybe leave, like now.

Rafe is gone. You don’t know where he went; it’s like he disappeared into thin air. Your friends are also nowhere in sight, and all you can see are people scrambling, jumping, and running everywhere.

It’s hard for you to focus; everything around you is disoriented and your vision spins every once in a while. You try to get up, but your knees give out and you end up stumbling against the kitchen counter. You giggle, tipsy from those shots you and Rafe did together just a second ago.

A tall, familiar body approaches you. “Y/N! We gotta go!”

Oh.

Him.

Sam Drake. That stupid boy next door that gave your heart way too much grief. You want to be done with him and his pretty face and mild smolder. He’s looking at you now with frantic, annoying puppy eyes. Why did he come back for you? Where is Rafe?

“I don’t wanna,” you try to say, but your voice comes out in a tiny whisper.

“Nope, not an option,” he says as he wraps an arm around your abdomen and hoists you up. He mutters something under his breath that you can’t catch as he leads you out of the house. The two of you are outside on the front lawn when you hear the sirens and see the illuminated red and blue flashing.

“Damn it,” Sam curses under his breath, his eyes frantically searching around. “C’mon, this way.”

Lacking any serious concern, you hobble after Sam with your hand in his towards the back end of the street, where his red and silver motorcycle parks under a low shade of tree branches. You notice its ruggedness and classic build, and you take note of the familiar characteristics of its proud owner.

Sam swiftly hops onto his motorcycle. He snaps back the kickstand with his heel and flicks on the headlight. He gives you a sideways glance and jabs his thumb at the small space behind him. “Get on and hold tight, you hear me?”

You nod sleepily. Slowly climbing on behind him, you wrap your arms around his waist and press your cheek to his back, happy to be so close to him. He smells like a fresh shower and cloudy engine smoke.

Muffled shadows of running people scatter all around in flashing red and blue. The motorcycle jerks forward with a sputter, and then the two of you shoot off, the sound of whining sirens gradually dissipating into the dark. You gasp, taken aback by the hurtling momentum. Your surroundings race by at hyper-speed, but your eyes can only process things one at a time. Everything around you is a blur of color; the green traffic lights, the glowing red shop signs, the flickering yellow of the streetlamps. Your eyes start to roll to the back of your head.

“Everything okay back there?” Sam shouts to the air, turning his head slightly to look at you. You blink your eyes, trying to keep them open. He’s the one thing you can see clearly; his hair is tousled by the wind, his freckles are pinkish-red from the cool air, and his hazel eyes are fiery and alive. A neon fusion of color frames his face, reminiscent of a static VHS glitch.

You try to tighten your grip on him, but your head dizzies. Your muscles don’t comply and your arms start to slip from his waist.

“Hey, hey!” One of Sam’s hands catches your wrists, holding them in place. “You keep your arms around me, a’right?”

“Mkay,” you hiccup and your forehead knocks against his shoulder blade.

“Jesus, Y/N. You’re giving me a heart attack.”

“Sam, I wanna go home.”

You vaguely feel a gentle squeeze of his hands on yours, a silent physical “okay”. Sam kicks up the speed, and then the two of you dart off again, weaving between dark cars on the streets, leaving behind a trail of rubber and smoke and sleepy laughter.

-

He felt alive.

His motorcycle reverberated violently underneath him, hungry for speed. Faster. He needed to go faster.

Samuel shifted the motorcycle up a gear, giving him less resistance and more traction. He accelerated noisily around the corner and through empty lanes, his heart pounding furiously at every drunk giggle that erupted from Y/N’s lips.

God, he felt so good.

The air lashed at his face, whipping his hair furiously against his forehead and neck. He couldn’t help it; a smile crept up his face, soon followed by a loud whoop of exhilaration. Y/N laughed even harder at this, and Samuel did it again, basking in the thrill of the night and her voice.  

The arms around his stomach tightened.

“Wait, waitwaitSamwait–“

Samuel instantly gripped the brakes, screeching his motorcycle. “What? What??”

“I’mgonnathrowup–“

“Son of a–!” He tried his best to pull over quickly, and Y/N hopped from of the backseat before he could come to a full stop. She hurried to the nearest bush at the edge of the streetlight and immediately started to heave, coughing up her night’s inventory of alcohol.

Samuel followed, catching her hair just in the nick of time. He pulled it away from her face, rubbing a palm against her hunched back patiently.

When she was finally done, he helped her up by the crook of her elbow and kept a hand at the dip of her waist to steady her. “You good?”

She nodded, blinking her dark eyes. “Oh man. Do I regret,” she groaned.

Samuel exhaled heavily, a fuddled wave of aggravation and worry washing over him. Without thinking, he said disdainfully, “do you now?”

She gave him a look; he couldn’t tell if it was confusion or annoyance.

“Uh, what’s that supposed to mean?”

Sam was taken aback by the tone of her voice; was she angry? He raked a hand through his hair. “You know you can’t hold your drinks, but you go and knock back like, fifty shots.”

Wrong move. Her eyebrows pulled even closer, and she pushed out of his arms. “It’s a party, Sam. I can do whatever I want.”

He knew that arguing back was just going to make her even more irritated, but he knew she was wrong– or he thought he knew she was wrong– and that was starting to make him mad too. “You’re never like this. Did Rafe make you do them or somethin’?”

“No! Rafe’s not like that. He’s my boyfriend.”

“A pretty shit one.”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothin’. Forget it.”

She shifted from one leg to the other impatiently. “No, Sam. I hate it when you do that. Just say it.” she pressed angrily.

There was a thin line between the two of them, and he was very close to crossing it. He contemplated whether or not he wanted to. “You’re being blindsided, Y/N.” He warned.

She scoffed, dismissing him. “There you go again.”

Suddenly, he said, “Then tell me why he just left you in the kitchen when the cops came, huh?”

He had struck a nerve. Y/N gave a short huff of realization and her shoulders tensed harshly. She narrowed her eyes at him. “You don’t know that.”

He waved a hand frantically in the air and let out a humorless laugh. “Seriously? Y/N, I saw him! That prick cares about nobody but himself.”

Something simmered behind her eyes, and instantly, Samuel regretted his words.

Shit, shit--

She raised a shaky finger at him. “Don’t.”

She was hurt now and he couldn’t put his emotions into words in fear of giving himself away. It was as if every time he tried, it only escalated into something offensive. It frustrated and angered him even further.

He closed his eyes and sighed, thinking of how to diffuse his mess. “I’m just… worried about you.”

She went quiet for a bit, and it troubled him.

“Well, I’m fine. I’m just trying to have fun, okay?”

He looked away from her, over her shoulder. He hadn’t noticed earlier, but he had actually pulled over near his workplace: the small boat dock at the edge of town. They stood at the larger part of the harbor where the metal railing separated the city from the sea.

Crystal’s words hissed in his ear. You need to stop lying to yourself, Sam.

Y/N said nothing further, walking a little ways from him along the wooden floorboards of the dock. On she went, a pretty figure framed in starlight against the dark ocean.

It doesn’t help anybody.

His feelings were getting out of hand and he was running out of time… but he was afraid. He didn’t want to lose what he had with her already; what more did he want? Y/N was there whenever he needed her, to catch him when he was on the brink of danger, to smile and to laugh at his less-than-funny jokes. This should be enough, he told himself. Stop being greedy.

But Samuel Drake… he couldn’t help that he wanted more than what he had. That was just in his nature; “satisfaction” was a loose term in his range of vocabulary.

He had to let her know. Somehow.

He sucked in his breath. “Did you do it on purpose?”

She stopped walking and turned around, standing about a meter or two away with her head tilted slightly. “Do what on purpose?”

Uh, definitely not how he wanted to start. Oh well. It was too late now.

He swallowed his pride and went for it. “That night, at the window. You know what I’m talking about.”

She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t say anything. What was there to say?

He didn’t press her. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to tell her; he was terrible with words. They just never came out the way he felt in his heart. He didn’t know where he was going with this… maybe he just wanted hear her say that she knew and that it wouldn’t work out and then they could move on with their lives. Just like that. Simple.

He was about to tell her to forget it, to pretend like it never happened, but then he saw her nod once, curtly, hiding secretly behind her wind-tossed mane.

He was awestruck.

She rocked on the heels of her feet. “It kinda just… happened. I saw you, and I just…” she trailed off, biting a nail as she avoided his stare. The distance between them felt foreign, vast.

Samuel cleared his throat. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I mean, I know it was wrong.” She gave him a puzzled look, and then he caught himself. “Wait, no– like, what I did was wrong. Not you,” he stuttered, unable to stop the words from tumbling out. He felt his face burning.

She giggled at this, brushing back the wisps of hair from her forehead.

Samuel grimaced, but her smile was contagious. “Y’know, I can just pretend like I didn’t see anything.”

She looked at him, and again, he couldn’t read her expression. She looked perplexed, unsure… contemplative?

She took a step forward.

“You don’t… you don’t have to.”

-

Damn him, that Samuel Drake. He knew how to press your buttons and piss you off, even if he didn’t mean to. But this… this caught you off-guard. He was being brash, impulsive-- curious. He had asked you about that night two weeks ago, openly, giving you no space to dodge and flee.

What would happen if you told the truth?

“You don’t… you don’t have to.” You murmur, releasing your words cautiously into the air.

Did he hear you? Did you say it loud enough, or did it get lost in the faint crashing of waves underneath you two?

No– he definitely heard you. You watch his eyes widen and his head jerk back in surprise. Was he appalled? Uncomfortable?

Oh well. Too late now.

You suck in your breath. “I mean, if you don’t want to. Do you… do you want to forget?”

Ugh okay. That came out really weird. You’re about to tell him to forget it, nevermind, you meant to say something else–

His voice is barely a whisper. “Are you kidding?”

You frown. “No.”

You watch Samuel Drake, the confident and boisterous and handsome Samuel Drake, as he presses his hand against his forehead and ducks his gaze away from yours.

“I haven’t been able to get you outta my head for the past two weeks.”

…what?

Oh no, he was repulsed. You stammer, “I-I… jeez, I didn’t know. I’m sorry, I didn’t know it made you feel that uncomfortable–”

“What? No, no– that’s not what I meant,” he drops his hand and takes a step towards you.

Then what…

“Listen. Y/N.”

You watch as he grabs a fistful of his dark hair– you know what that means. He’s at a loss for words; he wants to say something badly, but he just doesn’t know how.

So you wait, focusing on the rhythmic thumping in your chest. You don’t push him; you know Sam Drake and his habits and his tendencies. You know that he’s not the serious one in your guys’ dynamic. This is different for him– this is difficult for him– and so you let him work it out at his own pace.

You notice the precise moment when he does. His eyes flick up, realigning with yours, and then his throat dips as he swallows hard.

“I… I might have a thing for you. Kinda.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

You pause briefly to consider your words.

“That’s funny. Because me too.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

A little sound of disbelief escapes your lips. He catches it, and returns it to you as a louder chuckle. You both are dumbstruck, jittery, and at a loss as to what to do or say. This is actually happening.

“Wait, wait-- what about Rafe?” He suddenly asks, pointing a finger at you.

You cross your arms. “That’s a little hypocritical, don’t you think?”

“What do you mean?”

“Crystal?”

He drops his hand. “Okay.”

And then he’s laughing. And you start laughing at his laughing, because his laugh is just that infectious. He reaches out to you with outstretched hands and you walk over dizzily, fitting snug right between his arms. He’s warm and you can hear his heart beating powerfully underneath his gray Henley. His chin rests on the top of your head, and you know, deep inside of your heart, that this is where you belong.

-

Samuel told her.

It wasn’t super dramatic or sweet and a part of him regretted telling her so plainly, but he did it.

And the best part was, she felt the same way.

He couldn’t believe it. It took him years to finally tell her, and now he regretted not doing it sooner. He wanted to explode; he had never felt so raw and alive. It was as if a burden heavy as lead lifted from his shoulders and was replaced by a flitting, floating, airy happiness that sent him up and up and up.

“Since when though?” He asked the top of her head.

She tilted her chin up, resting it against his collarbone to look at him. A cheeky grin danced on her lips. “Uhh, yesterday.”

“Very funny.”

“You’re asking a lot of questions.”

“Please tell me?” He gave her that look, the one where he gazed at her broodingly through his eyelashes and up-turned eyebrows. He used it often to combat her witty and much too smart quips.

It worked on her like a charm and she said, “Eighth grade.”

“Don’t lie to me,” he warned her.

She glowered. “I’m being serious!” She poked a finger at his side, and he jerked into her, causing her to give him a winning smirk. “And you?”

“Don’t remember,” he mumbled, distracted by how soft her hair was against his neck.

“Are you sure? Like, really sure?” She mumbled back.

He snapped a finger, feigning recollection. “Sophomore year. When you almost fell outta your window climbing into mine. You were tryin’ to hide from your mom when she found your report card you threw behind that old bookshelf.”

“Wow, okay. Can you be a little more specific?”

He grinned at this. “You knocked over my entire Indiana Jones figure collection climbin’ in and that’s how I knew you were the one.”

“I was being sarcastic.”

“I know.”

She stuck her tongue out at him before burying her face in his chest. She sighed a long, blissful sigh, and Samuel knew exactly what she felt in that very moment.

“You know, I’m gonna miss you in college.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re supposed to say ‘me too’, Sam.”

“Me too, Sam.”

She poked another finger at his side, and he scowled, squeezing her cheeks between his free thumb and forefinger like he did whenever she was playing around too much. “Hey watch it, neighbor, that hurts.”

“Sorry, neighbor.”

Then, gradually, she got on her tip-toes and looked right at him, their noses touching, and suddenly, he was all too aware of her. Something in her eyes changed; they were all at once curious and unfocused. He soon realized that she wasn’t looking at him anymore– she was looking at his bottom lip. He watched as she bit her own.

They stayed like that for some time, until it became unbearable. Neither of them wanted to make the first move… it was exhilarating just as it was scary.

“Do something Samuel Drake,” she whispered to him.

Her words were like an activation code; a euphoric green “GO” sign lit up his brain upstairs. So then, slowly, he brought his lips to hers, his fingertips tenderly resting just against her jaw. It lasted only for a fleeting second. Her eyelashes fluttered like the wings of a butterfly, and Samuel wished that he could capture the moment and keep it safe in a glass bottle for him to relive again and again.

No other person made him this gushy and weak in the knees. She was a magician of sorts and he was her favorite trick. He would do anything for the girl standing here in front of him, and now, he could do it confidently.

“Can you do that again?” She smiled against his lips.

“Yeah, I’ll do that again.”

And Samuel kissed her once more under the moon’s watch and the ocean’s breath, and nothing else in the world mattered more. They both knew that in that moment, there was no other person they would’ve rather been with, and this was more precious than they could’ve ever imagined. He no longer felt afraid knowing that she was there for him to call his own, and she no longer felt overshadowed by the boy who had always thought she was unattainable.

It was a match made by the stars, and they watched protectively overhead, safeguarding the two under the youthful evening blanket.