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attemptinghaikyuu · 4 years ago

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Fake Dating: Yachi

A/n: I didn’t realize how much I liked Yachi till I remembered how fun she is, like she’s all over the place and I am here for it

G/n reader

Yachi Hitoka

You and Yachi became buds when you got paired up for an art project

Working in the library with her led to staying the night at each other’s places, finishing other assignments last minute

It was a chill friendship till one of you forgot about something due the next day and we’re then panic calling the other to help 😔✌️

Of course, the friendship wasn’t all work, whenever Yachi was too stuck in a studying frenzy, you would pull her out and get her to do something else like going to a cat cafe

Or if it was the other way around, she would think up a whole list of reasons to have you go out and get ice cream with her, all so she could make sure you were taking a break :,)

Already out there looking like a couple huh

Hinata and Kageyama met you through one of these hangouts

Yachi and you were just minding your own business, eating your ice cream (y’all we’re actually sharing, switching between the cones <3) when you heard a loud “Bwah!” and suddenly you had a tangerine all over you

Within moments you have gained a new best friend

And you’re new friend is asking if you and Yachi are dating

Yachi squeaks and answers no for you

“Ah, but you’re really cute together!”

Y’all are blushing, Hinata doesn’t know what he’s doing to you two

Again, Yachi assures Hinata you’re just good friends

Just pals teehee✨

“Sorry, I just figured since you’d been complaining about your mom wanting you to be dating someone, and ya know, you seem really close and all!” He laughed. “But my bad! See you at practice later Yachi!!”

It took you a second to process your friends mom problem through your embarrassment

Clearing your throat you asked a bit hesitantly, “Is something going on with your mom?”

She sighs “I’m visiting her for a week and.. well it’s not really new..” fiddling with her fingers she looks up at you. “She’s always asking me about bringing someone home and trying to find a date.”

Yachi looks super uncomfortable and all you want to do is make her feel better

And it just so happens you have a brilliant idea to help your friend out

“We can just date then!!”

“W-w-what?!” Yachi stutters

“I MEAN FAKE DATE!” You rush out, bright red

Two heart attacks later~

And you’re figuring out all the details on how to pretend date

It’s surprisingly easy :D

Gee I wonder why??

I mean, both of you are by each other’s sides so much, it’s concerning to see one of you without the other

So figuring out how to make things convincing is a breeze

However, meeting her mom was one of the most stressful moments of your life

She was looking you up and down, face blank, all while on her phone for business

The worst part was when she frowned at you

Time to cry? Why yes, I’d say it is

But then Yachi grabbed your hand and gave it a little sQUEEZEANDASKF

You answer any questions her mom has with ease after, the only other stress inducer was when you realized you should call Yachi by her first name since you’re dating

Her mom only gave Yachi a questioning stare when you called her Hitoka

She was so surprised that she nearly side jumped into a cabinet😭

It was cute tho

The week is full of hand holding, cheek kisses, reassuring glances, and talking about Hitoka’s family

During the few moments Yachi would talk with her mom in a full on conversation, she’d get upset at the expectations being put on her

Dealing with her mom wanting everything done perfectly made her want to curl up and cry

But with you there, making her feel better with cuddling and staying up late to watch movies, she felt like it was actually home here🥺🥺

Telling Hitoka she doesn’t need to be her moms perfect version of herself, that she just needs to be her, leads you to a realization you should have made a long time ago

You like her

All of her overthinking, her cute, awkward moment stammering, and the way she could smile at you and suddenly everything wasn’t bad anymore, had you over the moon for her

But this is fake to her, right?

You’re not sure how to respond to your own feelings

Telling her and asking if she’d like to be your girlfriend is an option

It’s probably what you should do

You can’t help overthinking that it might ruin your friendship if you did though (Yachi’s really rubbed off on you in the worrying department)

Waiting for your feelings to die was the best choice you concluded

Yachi had come to a similar conclusion unfortunately

What a couple of dumbass soulmates😒

But of course it’s barely a day later, the last day of the trip before you’re back to being just friends, as another realization slaps you in the face

Hitoka’s doodling little stars on your arm, while you sit on her bed and you feel yourself melt at the sight

It’s such a warm encompassing feeling being with Yachi, a feeling you can’t help wanting more of

You decide that Yachi Hitoka is worth a little risk

Grabbing a purple marker, you lift her hand away, ignoring the questioning look in her eyes as you position yourself so that Yachi can’t see what you’re writing down on her arm

You feel like you’re hearts going to explode, as you move to let her see what you wrote down

The gasp has you turning back, just in time to catch Yachi, before she falls off the bed in shock

Her face is crimson and she’s looking at you with a wide smile that has you smiling right back at her

You’re pretty sure you know her answer already and your smile only grows when she responds

“Y- YES!”

In your excitement you both end up falling from the bed

You and Yachi, too happy hugging to care about any bruises that might be found later

You tug her up to wash the ink off so that her mom can’t find it

Half an hour of giggling and a mini water fight later, the words are finally gone

Now the only evidence of the question ever being asked, is the look you both share exiting the bathroom

That and the picture Hitoka snapped of the words

“Would you go on a real date with me?” Saved on her phone with a giggle of joy

#haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu yachi #yachi hitoka #yachi x reader #yachi x you #yachi x y/n #fluff #fake dating #haikyuu imagines #yachi imagines #I don’t think yachi’s mom would actually care about her day #*dating #I mean maybe she doesn’t care about her day too #asjdjsfgk

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needdatbag · 4 years ago

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Drinking You/II

Notes: Soooo....Here’s part 2..Thanx for the notes guyssss <3 ♥

Summary: You encounter a stranger on your way back from the grocery shop and everything about him pulls you in.

Pairings: Eren Yeager x Reader; Various pairings eventually

Warnings: NSFW(not today tho); mentions of smoking.

Part II

’’Kid….Am I not interesting enough for your small, forgetful brain?’’ asked Levi from his desk, his grey eyes expressing the dissatisfaction he had about your mistake.

THE FILE. The Eren Yeager file. The file he stole from your bag after he finished...well...screwing you. To say that you were upset about the fact that you were used as a mere excuse for theft was an understatement. You were pissed as hell.

But your boss came first, as his death glare made you snap out of your one sided grudge with the memory of the charming terrorist you encountered. It was definitely wrong and probably a bad move but you couldn’t tell Levi what happened. So….you lied.

’’For the 27th time, I am so sorry that I ‘accidentally’ threw an important file into the shredder..I was cleaning my desk and I wasn’t paying attention.’’ you sounded honest but a little mechanical as you said the same excuse for awhile now.

Levi raised one of his brows at your nonchalance but sighed and said:

’’At least you didn't lose it. That would have been a big ass problem.’’

You clenched your fist behind your back. This was not ending well for you.

’’Please..I’m not that idiotic.’’ somehow your tone didn’t betray you but a small voice in your mind retorted immediately, ‘You are more than idiotic and you’re definetley screwed.’. You gulped.

A soft knock interrupted the beginning of your inner mental breakdown. Armin entered Levi’s office carrying a stack of files in one arm and holding what looked like a coffee cup in the other. He placed the files on Levi’s desk and handed him the cup. You suddenly blurted out your first thought.

’’But you don’t drink coffee.’’

Levi’s death glare almost made you take a step back. Well, maybe Eren Yeager took more than the file...he stole your brain too as you suddenly find yourself incapable of thinking. You want to slap a hand over your mouth. What the hell was wrong with you lately?

Armin watched you curiously for a moment. You feared his intuition, he was too sharp sometimes and that made you anxious in the current situation, but you tried to play it off anyway.

’’Ahem, yes, I heard it from Mrs. Zoe? Ha, am I wrong ?’’ you laughed awkwardly at the end of your sentence.

Armin shook his head, his short blonde hair hitting his face in the process. ’’That is right. As expected of you, Y/N, your mind always picks up the smallest details. The Captain drinks tea. I got a few extra cups to go, just 10 minutes ago. You can help yourself from the kitchen...Though I’m pretty sure you love coffee more.’’ he said while giving you a kind, small smile. You smiled back trying not to break eye contact.

‘You might be my best friend’s soulmate.’

You cringed internally. Not because you didn't find Armin attractive, because you thought the boy could even model if he wanted to, but because of what happened later after Eren said that phrase. You shook your head trying to banish the image of a long haired, 6ft man on top of your naked body. ‘Not the time, not the time.’

You wondered what Armin would think about the fact that you got to meet his best friend before he did. As you found out today, turns out they have not met in more than a year. You felt guilty for keeping your mouth shut. But it seemed like the best course of action. You needed to act solo for a while.

In a safe way, of course.

Levi motioned for Armin to leave but as he got closer to the door you saw his eyes discreetly peering at your neck and then at your face. Your hair was covering most of your hickeys but Armin might have noticed something anyway.

Once he left the room, Levi got up from his seat and approached the window.

He was wearing a plain white dress shirt and black pants with a pair of dark brown leather shoes. He was not going on the field today, you could tell that much because of his outfit. He was in his thirties now but his looks still caused many casualties between the female officers, especially the MPs who were more than enthusiastic when Levi passed them by. He was one of the best at his job and his handsome face was obviously a bonus.

You always said it was the mix between his good looks and his cold attitude that was pulling people in, but he was far from an unfeeling person. He usually cared too much about everything. Seeming distant was just his way of preserving himself. People were impressed just by hearing stories about him. But most of them had no idea how much he suffered. You knew. Not that he liked that. He never liked the fact that fate seemed to always make you meet again and again.

The first time, as his student when he was teaching in highschool. The second time as his blind date, Hange’s courtesy. The third time as the new member of his team, fate’s courtesy this time.

Each time you look at him you remember how selfish you’ve always been. You hate the thought but you know and can’t deny the fact that one way or another you always became a burden for the man sitting right across you. Right from the start.

----------------------------------------------------------------------- ’’Sir, is she worth it?’’ an eighteen years old you asked a younger Levi who was just exiting through the school’s gates. As he whipped his head back to match the voice to the person, his stern look softened just a bit. It was late and you were supposed to be home long ago. Instead you were only leaving now, a bag full of books in your right hand. You always stayed in the library until the school closed. You didn’t want to go home anyway.

’’That’s not an ideal question to ask about your sister, is it, brat?’’

You started laughing. He knew better than to refer to his fiance as your sister. You hated the bitch and there was no bond whatsoever between the two of you. She was just the awful daughter of the amazing woman who took you in after your parents kicked you out.

’’Can you give me a ride home, sir? I am afraid my frail arms are unable to carry these books until I reach the nearest bus stop.’’ you said in a dramatic tone while Levi just massaged his temples out of frustration but made a gesture towards his car anyway.

You smiled at him as you entered the car. He was driving in silence, without any radio music in the background, without any small talk. You wanted to tell him so many things, you wanted to express your indignation regarding the fact that your ‘sister’ was cheating on him and using him as an alibi so her mother won’t ever suspect she’s dating one of the biggest drug dealers in the region, you wanted to complain about the fact that he wasted his good heart on someone who wronged him before, you wanted to ask him why was he clinging to unhappiness so desperately. You could never understand. Even as you watched as the road light travelled on his face while he drove, you could only think about how well he managed to hide his pain. People didn’t notice that he was alone most of the time. Or that he rarely smiled.

It made you sad, it made you think of a part of yourself. Except you constantly fought for your right at happiness even if sadness never left your side. No matter how annoying that made you, you still kept going. But he didn’t even seem like he tried. He looked like the loneliest person on earth and he hid it so well that if you said what you thought out loud, people would just think you're looking into it too much.

You reached your house and his car stopped. Somehow, only now you noticed the pleasant smell inside the car. It smelled like fruity tea-bags which you assumed came from a spare ’stash’ he had somewhere around. You smiled. He always drinks tea during the breaks. It makes him look so refined too. Without any intention you giggled. He noticed and raised a brow, asking:

’’What makes you so happy that you’re hesitating to get out of my car? Hm? Move it, you didn’t even had dinner yet.’’

You turned your whole body towards him while you spoke in an excited manner.

’’I was thinking about you, sir. The way you enjoy your tea during breaks and how that’s the most happy I saw you since I came to this school.’’

With a confused look on his face he tilted his head but let you speak nonetheless. Your voice became softer while you looked down, your hair falling over your face.

’’You see, I believe that happiness can only come from being honest with yourself. Lie to the world, lie to people but if you lie to yourself you’ll just tint your soul to the point even the tea you love so much won’t taste the same anymore.’’

Levi’s eyes widened slightly. He knew you were outspoken and that sometimes you caused trouble because you meddled in things that were none of your business and you spoke way too much but he couldn’t deny the way you arranged your words. He knew you had a kind heart and that you were trying to reach his. He almost wanted to smile. ‘Stupid kid.’

He didn't say anything as you exited the car but watched you until you entered the house. You were right, he knew he was cheated on, he knew he was used but there was another side to his truth too. He used the idea of a fiance to run away from both his past and future.

But looking at you who had nothing but wanted everything, he thought that maybe, just maybe...he became a coward. And he always hated cowards.

As you watched him drive away, that was the last time you met him as a teacher, as he would lose his job in two weeks due to murder acusations regarding his fiance. Your ‘sister’.

You’d hear from your classmates how a tall, blonde detective cuffed him in front of the whole school while he put up a fight.

Then he would be gone and you wouldn't hear anything about him for a few years. -------------------------------------------------

’’So, care to explain why you are so distracted today?’’ he was gazing outside the window but you couldn’t help notice the way his voice was softer now that you were alone again.

’’I was unable to rest well last night, however you don’t need to worry, sir. I’ll snap back as soon as I drink some coffee, just as Armin suggested.’’

Another lie. You actually slept like a baby because you were so exhausted. The bed felt so warm and the man next to you smelt so good that you felt like you were floating. Only your dumb ass could sleep so relaxed next to a criminal.

You pondered before asking the next question.

’’What type of person used to be.....Eren Yeager?’’

His name sounded so different from your mouth or maybe that was your own perception. You recognised a little stinginess in your tone.

You pulled out your phone and started a voice recording. You were allowed to do so when it came to declarations. You were a profiler afterall. You needed to go over conversations and details, multiple times to complete your work.

Levi turned away from the window and took a few steps closer to you. His expression looked indifferent but you knew better. There was regret mixed in his feelings.

’’That brat wasn’t the most talented nor the smartest agent around, I actually often thought he was more of an idiot than most people I knew..’’

You stopped yourself from laughing. ’Unprofessional...Don’t do it. Let him continue.’

’’He was too much of a hot head for his own good but he listened to my orders and tried to look at things from a more mature perspective, perhaps we might have asked too much from him. Our department was in trouble and we lost more people than you could count, in a very short amount of time. We had an operation that lasted for more than 2 years. Eren was the key to that operation. Everything circled around him. We wanted to find answers so badly, we sacrificed so much that we never saw the fact that we had spies among us and the whole operation became more than a national issue. You said you read the file before you shredded it, right? I also mentioned it in the meeting before. You know what’s the issue I’m talking about, right?’’

Your breathing becomes more alert and a bitter feeling takes over your heart. Memories from your distant childhood try to resurface but you push them away. The past always catches up.

Your voice becomes more serious when you answer.

’’After 14 years of peace we might have another war with the neighbour nation, Marley, is that right?’’

Silence fills the room as Levi only nods. He seems lost in his own mind for a while and you can only guess what he might be thinking about. He was a soldier back then and this whole deal pissed him off.

’’Eren betrayed us. No warning, just a vague explanation. He almost wiped out their whole capital, one of the biggest cities in Marley, he killed VERY important people and now we are threatened left and right. This dumbass is very close to starting the biggest international conflict this country ever faced. Can’t believe that brat had the nerve to come back and now he’s under our jurisdiction again. We have to catch him and fast. Everyone you’ll ask will say he changed, but I always knew he had it in him. He might just destroy the world...no one can cage him. He’s that type of monster.’’

Your body suddenly felt numb, a weird sense of fear trying to take over you. His face, his expressions, everything flashed in your mind repeatedly, pieces of the conversation you had, the way he touched you, the note he left. For the first time in a very long time, you felt lost in translation.

Things were not adding up. Someone was wrong here. Something was definitely missing. You paused the recording and exhaled while rubbing your temples.

’’This should not be handled by a departament full of people that know him. Someone must really want to bury the Survey unit in shit.’’

A humourless laugh escaped your mouth.

’’Sorry Levi, you always hated when I cursed. Forgot about that.’’ you said, a sad look plastered on your face remembering many of the arguments you two had mostly because of you.

He frowned and took another step closer to you, unconsciously wanting to pat your head but you were already heading for the door. He snapped out of it and looked at his hand. He got carried away for a second, wanting to comfort you.

’’I guess you’ll always have a soft spot for me, sir...but we shouldn’t be very comfortable around each other. You were always the better man and I was always the wicked little girl.’’

’’L/N..’’

You exited his office. ‘Unfortunately, I’m still the same.’ you thought while walking to your desk and getting ready to work on the details of some cases that became piled up in the last week.

As you sat down and flipped through various lists of criminals, you tried to silence your mind. Sometimes your mental state was just like a furious sea storm. You have the tendency to drown in your own dark and poisonous thoughts until your identity becomes foggy. But work was a great distraction and thankfully...you sure had plenty of it. So you rolled up your sleeves, took a sip of the coffee Armin put on your desk (somehow the fact that he did sweet gestures like this made you very warm inside) and started working on your reports ignoring intentionally a certain criminal whose face you really didn’t wanna see again today, not on a screen, not printed...you'll deal with the Yeager case at home. You had to catch up on your work anyway.

Right? You weren’t running away or anything...right?

People around you became colorful shadows that moved around exiting or entering the headquarters while you were scribbling furiously details about different cases. When your phone rang, an hour before the end of your shift, you almost jumped out of your chair. You looked around and realised everyone was out and you were the only one left. Probably investigating, or some kind of emergency.

On the screen of your phone Jean’s face was popping up with the incoming call. When he first gave you his contact number he took a selfie of himself because he thought he looked ‘cool’ in that moment and you ‘had to have his handsomeness on your phone’, his words not yours. You rolled your eyes at the memory.

’’ ‘Sup Kirschtein? I’m busy and I swear to God if you call me ‘cause you're bored while being on some stakeout I will…’’ He burst into laughter and answered: ’’Calm down Y/N, I only did that like five or six times and you might’ve even liked it, don’t lie to me now.’’ he said in a charming yet joking voice and you couldn’t help but smile. He was one of the people who could easily put you in a good mood. ’’Wanna get out to get some ‘’fresh air’’ on the roof? It turns out we sorted out what we had to do sooner than expected….well sooner than I thought. That damn Floch will kill me one day...His attitude might just get us both killed.’’

Of course he wanted to smoke and complain about his partner, Floch. Jean didn’t seem like the type to think a lot, especially when you first got to meet him. He’s loud, a little bit of a bragger and has lots of opinions on anything but he was an exceptionally capable man in times of crises. You witnessed that a few times but you also heard it from Sasha: ’’Marco, Jean’s ex-partner, always said that Jean was the one most capable of leading us out of trouble and Marco’s intuition about people was as good as my instincts about danger. He knew what he was saying.’’

When you reached the roof, Jean was already smoking while looking at the red sky. The sun was almost gone. He looked lost in thought, barely noticing you until he heard the sound of your lighter. You took a long puff and exhaled. For some reason you felt exhausted and even if the silence somehow pleased you, it felt unlike Jean. He always liked to talk a lot around you, your smoking breaks being full of gossiping. It was almost always the two of you, given the fact that you and him were the only smokers in the department. You had a hunch that Armin smoked too but only when he was truly bothered by something, Connie tried it once and said he liked it but you knew he lied, Sasha said she didn't like the taste(did not surprise you at all there) and Mikasa thought it was stupid and unhealthy and you honestly agreed.

’’Why do you smoke, Jean?’’ you asked out of the blue. You realised you never asked him that. For some reason the image of Eren staring at you while holding his pack of cigarettes in one hand flashed in your mind. You took another inhale of smoke trying to push the image away. Jean didn’t respond immediately but when his eyes fixed on the cigarette he was holding.

’’Marco used to smoke here. It was so unlike him. He really didn’t seem like the type and he tried to hide it all the time...he was even carrying perfume around.’’ he said and let out a short bitter laugh. For some reason he placed a hand on his face trying to hide his expression. ’’I started smoking after he died. I guess..well fuck...I miss being with my friend. When I’m holding this cigarette it feels as if he’s still here. As if I could …’’ he hesitated before continuing,’’....ask him for advice about what I should do..’’

You got closer to him and bumped your shoulder into his in a friendly manner. He dropped his hand from his face and looked at you. You could see he was emotionally drained but you flashed him a cheerful smile even though you felt like shit as well. You looked up at the now, darker sky and said in a loud voice:

’’By smoking this cigarette I dare ask the amazing Marco Bott from heaven to lend me some of his wisdom. Please let me give our friend here a good answer to the question troubling his, not so young anymore, soul.’’

’’I’m only a year older than you, Y/N.’’ he said, his voice a little amused now. You rolled your eyes.

’’You’re an old soul, Jean. My shift will be over soon so spit it out...What’s bothering yo-’’

’’Did you study Eren’s file?’’ he asked out of the blue. You sighed and took another cigarette out and placed it in your mouth.

’’Not yet. Tonight I plan on looking over it. Why? Wanna tell me something about him that might help me in writing his profile?’’

Jean shook his head and took a puff out of his cigarette.

’’Once you look over it, after you read our statements about him that are also included there, before writing any report, I want you to tell me something that might help me.’’ you raised a brow in confusion but he wasn’t looking at you anymore. He was staring straight ahead at the city covered in the red light of the sunset.

’’Who do you think will hesitate when shooting? Us or Eren ?’’

You ran a hand through your hair and looked at the city too. As the night approached, it suddenly looked more dangerous.

‘Who indeed…?’ . . . . . Before leaving you stopped by Hange’s office to drop some of the work you completed for the day. Moblit, her assistant, the guy who you knew for a fact was the only one besides Levi to be able to control your workaholic Director, was trying to force feed her some pizza while she insisted that she had to look over some DNA samples found at a random crime scene.

’’M’am, I know you worked in the lab for most of your life but now you should be dealing only with the work Erwin had to do when he had your position. He didn't try to be in ten places at once! Come on, eat this slice. You didn't eat all day! Do I really have to message Levi right now? You know he always gets pissed when you act like this.’’

When Hange noticed you at the door she took the opportunity and sprinted to the lab leaving a stressed Moblit behind who was still holding a pizza slice in his right hand staring at you in disbelief . Poor man. You placed your work on Hange’s desk and eyed Moblit and then the pizza. You smiled like a cunning, old, hungry dog.

’’I’ll call The Captain for you if you give me two slices of that pizza. Deal?’’ Moblit sighed. ’’Deal.’’

So there you were now, walking out of the building towards your car, while happily munching on your pizza slice. You planned on eating the other one at home, later, if you’d get hungry while working late. You entered your car and threw your stuff on the passenger seat. You started the engine and drove home while listening to the radio. Weirdly enough there was a radio podcast about astrology. You found it weird because this type of podcast would usually be broadcast in the morning. When you heard your zodiac sign being mentioned you couldn’t help but pay a little attention. You were curious afterall and maybe some luck was ahead of you. ’You never know.’

’’As I said John, the (your zodiac) sign should really be careful about what they say and do...The ruler of divine punishment, Jupiter seems to have entered a rare conjunction. The past is catching up to them and it looks like they can’t run away from certain confrontations anymore. It could be with someone else or maybe with themselves. Also, it would be especially good to avoid Fire Signs around this time for (your zodiac), as all three, Aries, Leo and Sagittarius are chaos bringers in this Jupiter conjunction. So you heard me? Don’t try to dig into anything too much these days...You might just bury yourself.’’

You started laughing.

’’Pfft, yeah right... What a load of crap.’’ you said displeased as you turn off the radio.

You finally reach home. After you park and lock your car you enter your apartment building and as always you take the elevator, too lazy to drag your tired body on the stairs. You only think about soaking yourself in a warm bath as soon as possible. You might even use the new bubble bath stuff you got last week. ’Yeah, I think I will do just that. My body aches everywhere anyway, I need some relaxation.’

So immediately after you unlocked your door, you dropped your stuff, and went straight to the bathroom to turn on the warm water. Hell, you might’ve even skipped on the way as you were so happy to finally just have a moment of forgetting everything about anything and just indulge in the warmth and the nice smell of a warm bath.

So happy that you didn’t even bother to turn on the light in the living room.

Because if you did, you would have noticed Eren Yeager, sitting on your couch with a gun by his side.

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Preview:

You looked at Eren. You looked at the gun. You looked at the gun. You looked at Eren.

There were many things you wanted to say in that moment but strangely enough a rather unusual question was bothering you more than anything.

’’You never mentioned your birthday,’’ you said not believing you were actually asking this out of all things, ’’not that you forgot to mention things like your name or the fact that you’re right now, probably the most wanted criminal in the...world ...ha ha ....but who keeps track, am I right?’’ you laughed nervously.

’’My birthday..?’’ he asked while watching you suspiciously but calm at the same time. ’’Why?’’

You kept your distance. Your position was stiff and you couldn’t help but be surprised that he was right in front of you. In your house ...again...in less than 24h. Why in Isayama’s name was he here?

’’Nothing important really...Just something silly.’’ again, you let out a nervous laugh. You were in trouble and you didn’t have your fucking gun on you and your phone was in the bag.

Eren let out a sigh and shook his head.

’’Hm, shouldn’t you, miss profiler, know that about me already?’’ He placed his hands behind his head and leaned deeper on one of the back pillows. His position was relaxed but something told you to not risk going for the gun. It might even be a trap anyway.

’’March, 30.’’ he surprisingly answered after a short silence.

‘March...Weren’t Pisces in March? Nah, this man ain’t no Pisces...Too unhinged...What’s next...Oh.’ you closed your eyes in frustration, ’... Aries.’

’’Great, freaking Fire Sign. Of course you are.'’

You weren’t sure if you should listen to that type of radio podcast more often or

never again.

when you find out your signs are not the greatest match ever

#eren x reader #eren jaeger #attack on titan #levi ackerman #levi ackerman x reader #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #jean kirstein #armin arlert #mikasa ackerman #connie springer #sasha braus #hange zoe

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avmisworld · 4 years ago

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Jungkook as your boyfriend:

● Y'all know Jungkook is MAJOR bf material

● The cutest bean uwu

● At the start of your relationship he was probably a bit awkward

● The poor guy is so inexperienced he forgot what it's like talking to a girl who isn't doing his makeup lol

● Is scared to do something you won't like so he's always really careful with his words and actions

● Eventually he'll ease into it and become the shameless loving crackhead you know today

● But sometimes he'll still get a little shy

● Whenever he says something too cheesy or makes a cute mistake or you compliment him

● Always has the cutest bunny smile during these moments

● Always puts your needs before his own

● If you're a foreigner, he'll spend hours learning your native language

● Even though you know Korean and you have no problem communicating uwu

● Makes sure you're eating well and sleeping enough

● Even when he's on diets and sleeps two hours a day max :(

● Always insists to help you even if you don't need it

● "Y/N, let me help you"

● "Babe, I'm combing my hair..?"

● Is always ready to tell you how amazing and beautiful you are whenever you get insecure about your body and talents :'(

● Is legitimately confused why you would ever be insecure in the first place

● When he is insecure tho

● You just tell him the harsh truth

● That he's the world's cutest, most talented and golden bunny, and he's precious to ARMY and to his members uwu

● Tells you he loves you at least a hundred times a day just to see you blush and avoid his eyes cutely

● His favorite thing is making you laugh

● Loves it when you make him laugh as well

● He's an hilarious person so he doesn't have to try much to succeed

● Loves to make funny faces at you during one of your fake-serious banters

● You two have a shit ton of private jokes (wtf is funny about a plastic cup????)

● You live on sending each other memes and stupid videos of people falling down stairs lmfao

● You two are severe crackheads oof

● It's very likely to find the two of you awake at 3 am having a dance party or karaoke after too much wine

● Constantly having tickle fights, wrestling matches, pillow fights, what not

● Do not forget that JK is a savage little shit

● And that doesn't change because you are his girlfriend *sigh*

● Teases you about everything and anything

● Places things high up on purpose just so he can show up later with his chest puffed out and take it down for you with a smirk

● "Did I hear a damsel in distress?"

● But makes sure not to take it too far uwu

● This kid is competitive af omg

● A relationship with him means turning everything into some race or bet

● "I bet I can finish this hot dog faster than you"

● "Whoever brushes their teeth faster gets to shower first!"

● You see this a lot when the two of you game as well

● There is no way you can date Jeon Jungkook without playing Overwatch at least once lol

● Video game tournaments

● He wins most of the time but if he'll ever lose it's because he let you smh

● Is competitive also when it comes to other people

● Always has to prove to you that he's the best and that you made the right choice dating him

● Like you would ever doubt that pffft

● Whenever someone impresses you Jungkook would just jump out and be like

● "That's pretty cool, but did you see the new move I learned?" *breaks neck*

● Going to a fun fair would just be you going back home with a truckload of plushies from Jungkook winning in all the booths kfkfkd

● Dates with him are so cute and fun

● He loves taking you out sm

● It doesn't matter if it's movie night, ramen dates, dinner dates, lunch dates, beach dates, amusement park dates, coffee dates, workout dates, study dates, ice-skating dates

● Jungkook's inner child always comes out with you

● Probably because he never really got the time to be a real child :(

● You're the only person aside from his members and family who gets to see the real him

● He's so whipped for you

● Literal heart eyes

● Can't stop staring at you with twinkling eyes and a wide bunny smile

● When you catch him he'll look away and blush but he'll feel satisfied when he sees you blush as well uwu

● He finds everything you do adorable and can't help but send you bashful laughs and affectionate gazes

● even if he won't admit it kkk

● Compliments you all the time

● Compliments about your looks, your outfits, your smallest, most insignificant achievements uwu

● Always notices the small things about you that no one else does

● "Wow, Y/N, these new earrings look so good on you, babe"

● Basically Jungkook loves to spoil you hehe

● Buys you presents all the damn time

● You don't encourage him to do so because you hate feeling like he's your sugar daddy or smth and you aren't with him from his money

● But he just can't help it when he sees something he knows you'll like

● Spends more time shopping for you than for himself

● But it's all worth the gleam of excitement in your eyes when you see his presents

● Even if you playfully slap him and pout

● "I told you to stop wasting money on me!"

● Also makes you his own personal presents uwu

● Usually gives you them before he goes on tour to cheer you up

● Anything from portraits of you he drew secretly, to paintings of beautiful landscapes, to songs he wrote for you, to a collage of pictures you took of you

● Jungkook loves taking pictures and videos of you

● Takes snaps of you secretly cause he knows you're shy uwu

● His camera roll and gallery is entirely filled with pictures of you sleeping, eating, laughing, smiling, staring, talking, etc…

● Plus cute selfies and candid shots of the two of you with huge grins and arms wrapped around each other

● And memey selfies of the two of you that you would literally bury yourself if anyone would find lol

● Also has little, random videos of you just scrolling on your phone or something

● "Y/N, look at mee~~"

● It's really hard when Jungkook leaves for tour for both of you

● Late night video calls almost every day

● Even when Kook is after a concert, with his eyelids sticking to each other like glue π-π

● Calls you half asleep and the two of you just talk about meaningless stuff until one of you falls asleep uwu

● Sends you snaps all day of him and the guys and everything they're doing

● Does it so you'll see he's having fun and staying healthy

● Wants you to do the same so you send him selfies of you and your boring university lifestyle

● He insists that he finds it interesting and that he wants to see your face

● "I can't be deprived of touching you and seeing you! It's too much."

● Doesn't answer texts ever so you mostly communicate through phone/video calls and snaps/memes

● When he comes back from tour you wait for him at the airport

● His face lights up when he sees you and he smiles so wide π-π

● No matter how exhausted he is he runs to you like a lighting bolt

● Hugs you tightly and twirls you around while the other members watch fondly

● One of the few times he'll agree to so much PDA

● Usually he doesn't really like being too touchy in public

● But he always holds your hand just to make sure you're next to him, safe and sound uwu

● Brings you so much souvenirs from his trip abroad to make you feel like you were there with him

● Snow globes, magnets, clothes, key chains, plushies…

● All of it to remind you he thought about you every single day he was away

● When you're together you're so domestic

● If it's making food together, Jungkook teaching you BTS' newest choreo, working out, or even cleaning the house together

● Nothing's boring with Jungkook

● He's a whole different person when you're alone

● Calls you sweet nicknames like "baby", "babe", "jagi", "princess" and "angel"

● He's singing all day so it feels like your constantly stuck in "The Greatest Showman"

● But you can't really complain cause Gukkie's sweet honey voice is your favourite thing to hear

● Sometimes he'll talk to you in songs only to piss you off

● But most of the time he'll sing to you when you can't sleep or when you feel sad or sick

● He'll comb his hands through your hair gently while he sings to you softly *heart-attack*

● Picks you up all the time

● It might be because he loves to prove that he's strong enough to protect you and cherish you

● But also because he loves hearing your shrieks of surprise and soft laughter

● Piggybacks on the street, carrying you bridal style around the house, lifting you up like a baby in his arms when you playfully fight and twirling you around

● Just all the time really

● "Okay, okay, I'm sorry~~ Please let me down"

● Because you live together when he's in Korea you're always stealing his clothes

● He pretends to not like it and demands you to give it back to him

● But if you're ever cold or in the need of some clothing he'll be the first to throw you his wardrobe

● His slightly possessive nature feeds off seeing you all small and soft in his clothes

● It probably turns him on tbh

● Because of this he has a big thing for couple items as well

● Whether it's outfits, phone cases, lockscreens, accessories, and eventually jewelry (like promise rings uwu)

● Brags about you to the members 24/7

● "Look at this picture I took of Y/N when she wasn't looking! Isn't she the prettiest?"

● "Hyung, did you hear that Y/N was voted for best student in her class? Wah, I was really so impressed! She's a genius."

● The members high-key tease him for it and say it's annoying

● But they secretly think it's adorable how happy you make him and adore you so much for it fr

● You getting along with the rest of the members so well makes Jungkook really happy

● Even though he might get too protective sometimes

● Gets jealous often and is horrible at hiding it despite not saying it directly smh

● Watches from afar when you laugh at something Taehyung says, pinching his cheek lightly

● His eyebrows are furrowed and he's tonguing his cheek like he always does when he's jealous

● Eventually he has enough and comes over to you

● Pecks your cheek or pulls you to sit in his lap and tells everyone about the date you have planned for tomorrow

● "So, me and Y/N are planning to go to a picnic tomorrow at Han river…"

● And you're trying so hard not to smile cause he's just being so obvious and you find it cute

● A few time his jealousy leads to fights tho

● Fighting with Jungkook in general is a rare occurrence

● But when you do fight it can get pretty bad

● Rather than shouting or losing his temper, Jungkook tends to shut himself off when the fight is serious

● He stays quiet and talks only when it's necessary

● "Whatever" "Do what you want"

● It's mostly because he's afraid to say something he'll regret later

● He'll probably leave the apartment and go to the gym/studio/dorm room to calm down and clear his head

● Because both of you have big egos, it might take a few days to make up

● If Jungkook's at fault, he will eventually swallow his pride and apologize to you

● If it were the other way around tho

● You're not going to hear a word from him until you admit you were at fault

● No matter how much it'll hurt him to be away from you

● Even after the fight is over it might take a little time for things to go back to how they were

● Because Jungkook's pride and insecurities might get in the way of him approaching you

● But with enough patience you'll be back to being the inseparable couple you were before

● In case you think I forgot

● Skinship is a must in your relationship

● Jungkook loves to cuddle with you

● He's always the big spoon, with his hands underneath your (his) shirt, just gently caressing the skin of your stomach and hips

● Or with you laying on top of his chest, legs tangled together

● A lot of times cuddling leads to heated make out sessions and even more

● When he's troubled or exhausted he likes to nuzzle his head in the junction between your shoulder and neck and just breathe you in

● Tight hugs when you see each other after a while with his hands pressing your face to his chest protectively

● Back hugs are a must obviously

● Creeps up behind you when you're working and scares the frick out of you when he wraps his arms around your waist

● Loves forehead kisses because it's another opportunity to boast about how tall he is smh

● Also cheek kisses, nose kisses, ear kisses, neck kisses, knuckle kisses and lip kisses ofc lol

● Kisses you out of the blue and then pretends like nothing happened

● "Sorry, I couldn't help it"

● Lots of sweet, soft, loving kisses uwu

● Has a thing for nibbling/biting you (mostly your earlobe/bottom lip/fingers)

● Loves giving hickeys oml

● It fits his possessive nature perfectly

● The more people know you belong to him, the better

● Loves when you sit in his lap skdjd

● He wraps his arms around your stomach and pulls you closer so he can place his chin on your shoulder, occasionally leaving butterfly kisses all over your neck and shoulders

● Also into cuter things like poking your cheeks when you do something cute, ruffling your hair, tickling you and pinching your cheeks and bopping your nose.

● When it comes to bed, Jungkook is definitely a dom

● Just like he is on stage kdkck

● Puts your pleasure before his own and makes sure you're a 10474859% with whatever he's doing beforehand

● Sex after a fight or after he gets jealous and needs to remind himself you're only his

● Dirty talk ahhhh

● He can also be soft tho

● Like when he's making love to you omg my hearteu

● Whispering praises and sweet words in your ear

● Staring into your eyes with his dark, intense ones

● Moans alot and likes it when you do too

● Occasionally he lets you have the upper hand

● Doesn't spend too much time on aftercare because he wants to go back to holding you as quickly as possible

● The two of you fall asleep naked with your bodies completely tangled together

● Also likes showering with you

● less in a sexual way and more as another opportunity to pamper you

● Scrubs you carefully and puts shampoo for you

● Uses soap foam to grow you a fake beard this boi srsly

● Basically he loves you like no one else and you're destined to be

● The best boi there is <3

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eyeslikefoxglove · 5 years ago

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Episode 3 - Wei Wuxian is a Gremlin & Lan WangJi has a crush

Hi, welcome to episode three. I slept like absolute shit last night I am both short tempered and kind of... floaty? You know that feeling you get when you’re really tired and nothing seems quite real? That one.

Are the Jins the Malfoys of the cultivation world? Am I reaching?

IT’S MY WIFE MIANMIAN.

WWX you’re a troll. But you’re a cute troll so you’re forgiven. Aw man, what a sweet talker, also, look at her. She clearly knows he’s a gremlin but he’s a charming one.

MianMian and her friend are super sweet and they need to make friends with Shijie.

Don’t complain JC, I’d like to see you try.

... or not. Can y’all imagine Jiang “I can only emote in anger” Cheng trying to sweet talk anyone? Nightmares.

Take a shot every time JC rolls his eyes! (Don’t do it, you’ll get liver failure and die)

Oh my god this is really fucking awkward and Shijie doesn’t deserve this bullshit. STFU random Jin disclipe.

Oooooohhh the Peacock needs some ice for that burn.

Oh hey, WWX issues rearing their head here for a second. With the “whatever bullshit I pull, I pull alone, don’t mix the Jiangs in this.” I’m pretty sure all his life people have been telling him that he is responsible for his failures and Yunmeng Jiang the reason for his achievements. No one ends up with such pummelling self-worth otherwise. And that then leads to not believing the people who actually support you for yourself and just living in terror for the moment you finally disappoint them.

(This a very long-winded way of saying the Jiangs suck at parenting and a lot of trauma could’ve been avoided if the Yunmeng sibs had told them where to stick their bs)

FUCK ME UP I JUST WANT TO ROLL SHIJIE IN A BLANKET AND PLY HER WITH CHOCOLATE AND KITTENS.

Although the shot of the Peacock unexpectedly running into her is very well done and clearly conveys how much of an awkward potato he actually is.

That dual “adults are weird man” shrug from the Yunmeng bros is adorable.

OH MAN. ITS HAPPENING. HE’S HERE. THE CINEMATOGRAPHY IS FUCKING STUNNING. BECAUSE THIS MAN CLEARLY NEEDS HELP TO LOOK OTHERWORLDLY BEAUTIFUL.

And then he proceeds to get the tiniest “holy shit people are talking to me abort abort” panicked expression and it’s hilarious.

Stupid hc of mine: LWJ swears constantly in his head.

One, I find the thought hilarious. And two, he can be cheeky/sarcastic when he wants to be and I need more of it.

Wait, so Cloud Recesses is 32km away from the town. Up a mountain. On foot. Lol fuck off.

I really want to make a dirty joke about LWJ shutting WWX up other way but I’m going to be good and just not do it.

“Who’s to say he’s not having fun with some MianMian or some Yuandao right now”

... record scratch.

Back the fuck up for a second. I might be reaching. I know absolutely nothing about the culture so I’m going to make assumptions here.

WWX introduced himself as “YuanDao” to MianMian and although her friend caught on the joke quick it didn’t seem off to her. So I’m going to go out on a limb and assume YuanDao is a male name, or a boy nickname or sounds like something you’d call a boy.

Now, what fun was WWX having with MianMian? In the words of his own brother he was being a flirty playboy.

And then JC says to Shijie that WWX might be off having flirty fun (again inferred from the names he uses) with a [girl’s nickname] or a [possibly boy’s name]. Like this is normal. Did JC just give us proper confirmation, in a drama supposed to be censored all to hell, of WWX’s status of Disaster Bi? Did that just fucking happen?

And there we have LWJ being an actual prince.

I need a voice over with LWJ’s thoughts about that rooftop scene. I mean you’re being all grave and dramatic under the moonlight and then you see this (very cute) boy just... climb the wall? Onto the roof? Right by you? Like what the fuck.

Because you know he noticed the whole thing. So why didn’t he drop kick the guy right back out? (Cause the guy is cute and he’s weak for that gremlin).

There’s nothing suggestive about sliding a sword back into its sheath with a couple of fingers. Absolutely nothing at all.

I fully believe LWJ decided to duel WWX because his first instinct was to slam the boy into a wall and snog him. But he panicked because he’s never kissed anyone so he’s not sure he knows how to do it properly.

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE SCENERY FOR A SECOND?

You’ve got a dark night with a full moon. And two figures in white dancing on a dark rooftop. WangXian/WuJi is playing very softly. The breeze is ruffling their hair and clothes. And I’m weak for the camera work. My god all those stunning angles.

Wei “let me be damn sexy when taking a drink” Wuxian strikes again.

“Relentless, unreasonable and rigid.” Holy shit tell us how you really feel.

And tbh you deserve that silencing spell, I would’ve slapped you stupid if you were badmouthing me to my face.

So they keep Zewu Jun but not HanGuan Jun? I demand compensation.

LQR is sooooo not impressed with this bullshit.

LXC caught up SO FUCKING FAST THO. Like it took him five seconds to see that his baby brother had a feeling for this other disaster boy (maybe he realised LWJ already has the biggest crush, maybe he hopes it’ll get to that point) and just went in guns blazing to get his brother into a favourable light with WWX.

And LWJ was suuuuper embarrassed because he doesn’t have a crush, that’s ridiculous.

LWJ: *Bichen Grip*

IT’S BEST GIRL WQ.

Fuck you that jump scare got me.

So the Yin Iron is a dementor.

Also, WWX proving once again that’s he’s ridiculously clever.

LWJ: *Bichen Grip*

The Lan Bros give me all the feels.

LXC: so... WWX is pretty cool isn’t he?

LWJ: *Bichen Grip* *Exit stage right*

So I had my worries about Xue Yang. Because let’s be honest. He’s really really pretty. And he’s supposed to be charismatic and have a tragic past and be a bit of an asshole. Those are usually my fave characters. But he’s also a psycho, so the last thing I wanted to do is give myself That headache. But no, he’s so fucking creepy anything else gets relegated to an afterthought.

That’s that for episode three. I hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!

#the untamed #cql #mdzs #mdzs live action #foxglove watches cql #foxglove watches the untamed #commentary #wei wuxian #lan wangji #wangxian #episode 3

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dillydedalus · 4 years ago

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september reading

there is literally no way it is september. impossible. anyway this month we have horror, Fake Dating, the rashomon effect, a time war, and most importantly, no neutrals to be found anywhere

the old man & his sons, heðin brú (tr. from faroese by john f. west) published on the faroe islands in 1940 and the first faroese novel to be translated into english, this is a story about the dramatic shift in life style during the 30s on the faroe islands, from hardscrabble subsistence farming/fishing to market economy. interesting look at changing life on isolated isles, and a much lighter (and shorter) take on the stubborn autonomous subsistence farmer than laxness’s independent people. 3/5

the white shroud, antanas škėma (tr from lithuanian by karla gruodis - english/claudia sinnig - german) a modernist, fragmented, nonlinear novel about a lithuanian poet gone into exile, now working as an elevator operator in a new york hotel, who is involved with a married woman but might also be terminally ill. in between the present timeline, the book flashes back (both in the character’s own writing and in third person) to his youth in lithuania, his torture at the hands of the soviet regime, his time at a DP camp in germany and so on. quite interesting, with some great writing. 3/5

things we lost in the fire, mariana enríquez (tr. from spanish by megan mcdowell) really good collection of horror-ish short stories that also touch on gendered violence, child abuse, poverty and argentinian history (esp. dictatorship and disappearances) - some stories are more overtly horror, with clear supernatural elements, others are more ambiguous. i don’t read (or watch) horror stuff so i’m a bad judge of how scary this is - i found it more gruesome and upsetting than terrifying, but the dread is strong in this one. favourites: adela’s house (hungry haunted house), end of term and the title story (women & self-inflictred violence), under the black water (the poisoned oil-choked river is very bad but maybe.... there’s something worse in there). good, vividly gruesome, sharp sharp sharp. 3.5/5

axiom’s end, lindsay ellis i really like lindsay ellis, of all the ~youtube video essayists~ she’s probably my favourite and this book a) has a cool premise - aliens + conspiracies + alien communication and b) a really cool cover, and it’s lindsay, so i was super excited for this one. and it would be unfair to say i was disappointed with it; it’s a fun first contact romp with really good pacing, cool aliens, on-brand lindsay ellis humour and some interesting ideas on communicating with someone who is truly alien and incomprehensible. it’s fine! i enjoyed it and will definitely read the sequel, it’s just... i was hoping it would be AMAZING, and it just wasn’t. no huge problems (except for a few lines i would have liked to take a red pen to), just.... it was fine. 3.5/5

zeno’s conscience, italo svevo (tr. from italian by william weaver) imagine you’re a businessman in trieste who does a little unsuccessful writing on the side and one day you decide to take english lessons to improve your business opportunities with the uk and your english teacher is JAMES FUCKING JOYCE who tells you that you need to keep writing. incredible. anyway these are the autobiographical notes of one zeno cosini, a hapless hypochondriac smug self-delusional fool, who just cannot quite quit smoking, marries the one sister out of three he least desires, & works as an accountant (for the man who married his most-desired of said sisters) despite his rather tenuous grasp on bookkeeping. my favourite scene is when his future sister in law (2nd most desired) complains lightly about her difficulties with latin, he tells her that he believes latin is a man’s language and even roman ladies probably didn’t actually speak it, only for her to correct him on a latin quotation. i will say tho that this book is way to long to maintain the endearingness and often drags. 3/5 tfw u write for an audience of one but that one is james joyce so fair enough

der hund/der tunnel/die panne, friedrich dürrenmatt dürrenmatt (in addition to having a cool-ass name) really fucking slaps! his stuff is really good, and often really really wild. these three stories are all weird & slightly existentially scary, two degrees left of reality, and just. so interesting! we have a man stalking a street preacher and his monstrous dog, a train going through a tunnel for way too long (and it is very scary), and a man becoming involved in a pretend-trial (or is it) and becoming convinced that he actually is a murderer (or is he, really?). anyway, dürrenmatt.... slaps. 4/5

wow, no thank you., samantha irby a mix of memoir and comedy blogpost and social critique blogpost about growing up poor & black, dating while fat, chronic illness, and settling down in rural america. it’s fine. i haven’t read irby’s previous collections so maybe i’m missing that emotional connection, but i thought it was mostly...okay?? not especially funny imo & i prefered the more serious chapters of which there weren’t enough. 2/5

they say in harlan county: an oral history, alessandro portelli really impressive oral history about life in harlan county, appalachia, focusing on the labor strikes and conflicts in the 30s and 40s, but really exploring life and politics in the region from the first non-native settlement there to today. really interesting, sometimes inspiring and often infuriating and probably worth reading if you’ve ever listened to which side are you on. 4/5

rashomon & other stories, ryunosuke akutagawa (tr. from japanese by jay rubin) fun fact: if you read the short story “rashomon” expecting to get the, y’know, rashomon effect, you won’t get it bc the film actually takes its plot from the story “in a grove”. anyway this is an interesting collection of classic japanese short stories, many of which are actually about unreliable witnesses/narrators. i particularly enjoyed “in a grove” and the truly disturbing “hell screen”, but found this particular collection just a bit too long. 3/5

women without men, shahrnush parsipur (tr. from farsi by kamran talatoff & joceyln sharlet) a magical realist feminist novella about 5 women in iran who all try to liberate themselves from men in one way or another, more or less successfully (one of them turns into a tree, another becomes undead), until they end up in a semi-utopian garden together for a time. disturbing in its depiction oppression and sexual/gendered violence. i don’t really know how i feel about it, but it’s a really unique and interesting reading experience; very fraught and ambivalent in the end. 3.5/5

take a hint, dani brown, talia hibbert i think this is the first actual pure genre-romance book i’ve read... in years??possibly ever? idk. anyway this is mostly a pretty fun & sweet story about ambitious & emotionally constipated phd student dani brown and security guy with tragic past zaf ansari, who begin a fake relationship for Various Reasons (as you do) and both develop Real Feelings (as you do, predictably). it’s mostly really enjoyable but man i’m really not used to Romance writing & it’s a lot. in the end everyone is very genuine & earnest & emotionally honest which.... not to be even more emotionally repressed than dani but i cannot deal with that. anyway given that 2020 truly is the gift that keeps on giving this was a fun fluffy delight & i might read more from the series. 3.5/5

this is how you lose the time war, amal el-mohtar & max gladstone two agents (red and blue) on opposing sides of a time war (the futuristic techy Agency vs the eco/organic Garden - neither of them is Good or Bad exactly) start writing letters as they hunt each other through the strands of time’s braid and eventually (inevitably) fall in love. really interesting concept of time travel and different timelines (if, like me, you conceptualise past as down and future as up, this will trip you up so much), very lyrical writing that sometimes toes the line to overwritten but mostly really works. 3.5/5

DNF: the madman of freedom square & the iraqi christ, hassan blasim (tr. from arabic by jonathan wright, german tr. by hartmut fähndrich) bindup of these two short story collections about iraq. these are incredibly brutal, depressing & horrifying stories about a country in a constant state of war & struggle. couldn’t bear it, probably not ever & certainly not right now.

allegro pastell, leif randt (audio) this is brilliant, bitingly funny novel about a millenial couple, tanja & jerome, and their on-and-off long distance relationship. they are privileged (and half-aware of it), attractive, successful, very in touch with their own feelings (couldn’t be me), self-reflective, faintly ironic in everything bc sincerity might be cringe, and you will hate them. these are people who perform their feelings rather than feel them, dissect all their opinions and impulses to the point of both paralysis and narcissism, engage in constant navelgazing and cannot form any relationship that isn’t based in constant evaluation and judgment. they pride themselves on their nonconformity but are really the greatest conformists of all, and the most square, boring, spießig people under the veneer of their urban liberal drug-and-club lifestyle. had so much fun with it even as i was constantly cringing at these people. 4/5

#the books i read #long post

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staliasjeronica · 6 years ago

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Riverdale 3.13 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Jughead sleeping through the aroma of food? Mmhmmm I don’t buy it.

- If you have to get baptized, at least make sure it’s for a CHURCH. Otherwise… Issa cult, Alice…

- VERONICA MY BABY!!! But didn’t she fucking move out of the Pembrooke? When the FUCK did she move back in?

- Honestly this Hiram shit needs to end. It’s so annoying and it’s been going on for so long that it’s getting so fucking boring. Like, give V another fucking storyline. Like, I don’t know, EXPLORING HER BISEXUALITY. EXPLORING HER CAREER AS FUCKING ANYTHING. She wanted to stick up to her father by not becoming a mob crime boss like him but now… fUCK JUST LET MY GIRL LIVE LIKE SHE WANTS TO.

- ARCHOSIE ❤️❤️❤️

- “You are sweeter than a strawberry milkshake, Arch, but—” B I T C H THEY FUCKING OWN ME.

- What makes me sad though is we’ve never really seen Archie THIS happy? Like yeah he’s really really happy when he’s with Betty (and vise versa, she’s never as happy as she is with Archie) but like… he just radiates love and I just—my Barchie heart is cONFUSED

- “Well, almost everything else.” Hi, yes, again… THEY OWN ME. “Yeah, well, don’t go messing up that pretty face, Andrews. It’s growing on me.”

- Although I feel so bad for Sweet Pea because Swosie broke up because Josie wanted to focus on her career and now she’s about to get into a relationship with Archie.

- Poor Betty, she sees her mother slipping into the cult more and more and she can’t do anything about it. But, to be fair, Betty, you have cut her out a lot too so hopefully after this stupid boring cult shit is over, you can actually get close with your mom again.

- Why are Swangs surprised they lost eight more to the Pretty Poisons? The South Side Serpents, until recently, made the women pole dance for ugly, disgusting old men to get in so like… I would have left, too.

- FANGS NEVER CALL JUGHEAD BOSS AGAIN EW

- Ignoring the fact of Jughead trying to use Toni to get his numbers back… Sweet Pea looks hella fucking good in that yellow shirt.

- I like how Archie and Tom are boxing together, it’s so sweet! But that boy needs to listen to him because he has more boxing knowledge but I know he ends up getting into a fight so what the fuck do I know 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

- I love Tom Keller and he needs more screen time goodbye

- If Veronica is against what her stupid father is doing… why not just give Gladys information on what he’s doing? Gladys is an annoying bitch too but she does have you and your mom under her command so like…

- fUCKING ELIO. HE’S SO ANNOYING GO AWAY.

- Archie… I try to protect you from the “Archie is so stupid” posts but you’re going up against this guy without realizing that there’s ulterior motives just because you want to feel powerful again. Please for the love of GOD find another way 😩😩😩

- Have to admit though, Elio’s good at manipulating… and his voice is kinda hot. And the actor is cute. BUT STILL ELIO CAN GO FUCK A DUCK

- But we all know Archie isn’t gonna let himself lose the fight lmao someone’s gonna tell him they’re excited to see him fight and he’ll wanna make them proud so now he’s going to get into trouble… did he just ask to get the money first? BABY THAT’S NOT HOW THAT SHIT WORKS.

- Veronica I love you, and I’m glad helping your family is still your goal, but last time you told him that he literally told you “no” and was being a big bitch about it.

- Oh poor Veronica… the look she gave her father when she realized he’d rather do illegal shit than legal, she looked so sad!!!

- “Make me queen” YES TONI TELL HIM. Betty does NOTHING for the Serpents, and this is Toni’s BIRTHRIGHT. She has always tried to get the Serpent dance outlawed because it’s sexist and stupid, but she never really needed a reason to lead—Jughead wasn’t a stupid little bitch, but now he’s ruining all that the Serpent’s are about so now she has every reason to becoming the leader of the Serpents.

- “You’re Cheryl’s vanity project, you mean” Jughead says as if he didn’t call out Betty in season one for viewing him as that as well lmaooooooooooooo

- She’s right though about the Serpents being a family. Jughead has ruined every good thing about it, and he NEEDS to give her her rightful place because he is a scrawny, annoying white little bitch and she is literally directly from the Uktena bloodline.

- It’s so obvious when Betty isn’t interested in something. She even did it with Jughead when he was complaining about the drive in being shut down. I don’t know how nobody seems to catch it but oh well nothing about Riverdale is realistic so what the fuck ever

- Cheryl teaching the Poisons to shoot a bow I’m—YES BITCH

- CHONI MY LOVESSS! I can’t tell whether I’m happy or sad about how Cheryl can immediately tell if Toni is off after kissing her. ALSO CHERYL CALLED TONI HER TREASURE GOODBYE

- oh no I’m getting closer to the scene I’m going to despise with every fiber of my being… but also I know Cheryl is new to relationships and conversing with other people (I don’t know how to word it okay) but how does she get doing THAT out of Toni saying “I’M gonna put Jughead in his place” like??? CHERYL LET HER DO IT HERSELF :(((

- UGH OKAY HERE WE FUCKING GO.

- First of all… SWEET PEA NOR FANGS ARE SEXIST. I mean, of course right there in this scene they’re acting like it but we all know they aren’t? RAS and the writers were on major fucking crack apparently and just erased everything we know about these two sweet boys. Even Alex said that it was ooc! I’m so fucking pissed about it.

- But, also, Cheryl wasn’t doing that because they were being sexist. She went there because she was already planning on beating them up, which is an even bigger no and so ooc. Cheryl is more into fire, so instead she could have like burned down Jughead’s trailer instead of attacking Jughead’s lapdogs.

- THEY WERE SO HAPPY AND SHIT AND THEN MY POOR BOYS WERE ATTACKED. FANGS SAYING “HEY, WE DON’T WANT ANY TROUBLE” MAKES ME EVEN MORE MAD AND SAD

- But I gotta laugh at the nickname Peabrain… I’M SORRY OKAY ALL OF CHERYL’S DEMEANING NICKNAMES FOR OTHERS ARE SO FUNNY LEAVE ME ALONE

- DID GLADYS CALL MY BOYS JOKES BECAUSE THEY DIDN’T FIGHT BACK? This bitch…

- OHHH NOW I SEE WHY JUGHEAD WAS STUPID ENOUGH TO GRAB UP THE GHOULIES… HIS FUCKING MOTHER!!! But really do you expect SP and Fangs and the Ghoulies to get alone? MMMHMMMM OKAY AHAHA

- LIKE WHAT CHERYL DID WAS WRONG AND TONI’S VOICE WAS SO SEXY WITH THE “IS THAT CLEAR” BUT I JUST REALIZED THAT CHERYL IS ABOUT TO CRY I HATE REFLECTIONS

- FUCK YEAH JOSIE TELL HIM. I’m still peeved at what she did to Veronica for like no reason but like… I love her. I love her and Archie. They’re HEALTHY AND CUTE AND JUST—UGH!!!! My Barchie heart is once again screaming and confused

- “You’re worth more than that” It’s sad that we KNOW Betty would tell him this too but they never interact anymore :( I miss the cute window scenes that proved they were endgame sIGH

- LMAO WAIT SO YOU’RE TELLING ME YOU’RE JUST NOW TELLING YOUR “BEST FRIEND” ABOUT YOUR MOTHER BEING IN A CULT, ABOUT THE FARM BEING A CULT? Bitch… this is why we all know Betty has no friends anymore. She’s too close to Jughead and has pretty much pushed everyone else away. Toxic relationships do that… just saying.

- Why did Betty have no emotion when she asked Kevin why he wasn’t going to help her? Like, when you get sad your eyebrows tend to either go down and in, or like slant up (I know I’m not making sense okay but just google pictures of sad people and you’ll see what I’m talking about) and your lip kinda puffs out but she just ._. ???

- It’s really really bad that he’s about to join the farm but he does have a point though she does see the bad in everybody…

- The Ghoulies are crazy and you guys KNOW THIS. The G&G bitches are just wannabe cunts who are probably brainwashed or some shit. Stop changing what you know for your crooked mother you beanie baby

- “They just need someone to lead them—I can be that!” JUGHEAD YOU CAN BARELY RUN “YOUR” OWN GANG SKSKSKSKKSS WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN RUN THE GHOULIES TOO (also where the fuck is Malachai???) THE GHOULIES WOULD LEGIT TEAR YOU APART. Now that I think about it… let them come. They destroy Jughead and Sweet Pea and Fangs will leave. PERFECT

- FP KNOWS SHE’S STIRRING SHIT. Jughead has missed her, and doesn’t know her as well as FP does, so he’s more vulnerable to manipulation (even though he’s a dumbass in the first place), so hopefully FP stops this shit before its too late (but knowing Riverdale it’ll be too late)

- You know you COULD just give Toni her rightful place as Serpent Queen and everybody will come back and the Poisons in join as well, but you’re a stupid dumbass. Actually, I know Archie does stupid shit but at least he does it out of the good of his previously innocent heart… can Jughead take the dumbass title now?

- Lol The Lodge’s get to have dinner with their daughter’s future mother in law!

- SEE I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WOULD TELL ARCHIE IT WAS WRONG AND HE’D WANT TO TAKE IT BACK BUT HE FUCKING CAN’T. AND THEN HE’S GOING TO NOT DO WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO ANYWAYS AND THEN BE ON THE RUN AGAIN UGH

- Verne? I thought most of the Ghoulies despite Malachai were like ugly and shit but uhh…

- WHERE THE FUCK DID MALACHAI GO? WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM?

- Damn well there goes my hope that that one clip from the trailer that looked like it was in a sewer was Joaquin who Swangs had actually helped save :(

- I wanna know what fucking costume shop is selling those on-point gargoyle masks like—

- LMAO ONE LEADER TO ANOTHER oKaY jUgHeAd

- WAIT BITCH THAT’S JONATHAN WHITESELL I FUCKING LOVE HIM!!!! He’s so cute uGH FUCK. Next ep he drops my boy Fangs tho :(

- DID ANYONE NOTICE THAT JOAQUIN’S NAME IS CROSSED OUT IN THE BACK I’M—

- So since every word that seems to come out of Jughead’s mouth makes me want to fucking slap the shit out of him… how has nobody fucking went at him or even killed him like it’s just not realistic lmaoo

- “You were right” mmhm Tom is going to be like “fuck… you’re so stupid but I like you so I’m going to help you” isn’t he

- YUP! We love a good father. Even tho his son is joining a cult because his second boyfriend left him.

- HIRAM HAS NEVER WANTED VERONICA’S HELP HE’S JUST WANTED CONTROL OVER HER. I fucking hate this. I just want this crime boss shit OVER WITH. SEND HIRAM AND GLADYS AND EVERYBODY ELSE TO FUCKING JAIL

- That smile Hiram did… he so fucking knows Veronica and Gladys are working together lol

- Would the farm really bug phone calls? They’re not that big and cool are they? Like damn… okay…

- Wow Jughead is actually shaken from that encounter… that struck me for some reason holy fuck

- I LEGIT JUST GOT SHIVERS AS BETTY WAS REALIZING HER MOM WAS ABOUT TO DO HER “BAPTISM” AND GOT UP OH MY GOD

- I feel so bad for Betty.

- Josie singing in the background while Archie fights? CINEMATIC EXCELLENCE!

- But hasn’t Betty never been to the farm? How does she know where it is?

- ALSO TRACK QUEEN

- I know this isn’t the greatest time to say this while all of this is going on but the episodes are much better when Bughead isn’t together twenty four seven… just saying. Like this episode still was ehhh but like… it would have been much worse if Betty and Jughead were joined at the hip like always

- Josie showed up my hEART

- Alice Smith? THEY’RE REALLY STRIPPING HER AWAY FROM THE COOPER NAME HUH

- So like where are Polly’s babies tho lol

- So… Polly can help drag her out of the tub but not help or care that she just killed her mother? Okay. Makes total sense…

- THE WAY ARCHIE PICKED JOSIE UP I’M—

- Also people saying that it was all Veronica who wanted to fuck when they were hurt or whatever (at bad times)… Archie wanted this so now people can stop blaming Veronica thank you and goodbye

- Wow I actually feel really bad for Betty…

- BUT NO YOU CAN’T SELL THE HOUSE THEN WHERE WILL WE GET THE BEAUTIFUL BARCHIE WINDOW SCENES. Just marry FP already and have them move in oKAY

#Riverdale #Riverdale 3.13 #Riverdale Requiem For A Welterweight #South Side Serpents #Pretty Poisons #Jughead Jones #Archie Andrews #Betty Cooper #Veronica Lodge #Josie McCoy #Toni Topaz #Cheryl Blossom #Choni #Bughead #Archosie #Sweet Pea #Fangs Fogarty #Swangs

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junionigiri · 6 years ago

Text

Boom Clap [bnha: vigilantes one shot]

Story Summary: Haimawari Koichi is quite content spending New Year's Eve alone in his run-down rooftop apartment, but Iida Tensei has other plans.

Relationship: Haimawari Koichi/Iida Tensei

Rating: T

Warnings/Notes: haha wtf is a warm-up drabble anyways. this isn’t edited but whatever. gonna go back to my other AU in a bit. Happy new year everyone :)

31 December 20XX, 2154H

Haimawari Koichi watches the night sky alone.

He has cans of beer, one of them already open and half-empty in his hand. His phone is out, but apart from taking piss-poor quality photos of the stray fireworks already colouring the night sky in vivid oranges and greens and pinks, it is glaringly quiet. Almost… annoyingly so. But he can’t complain.

Pop is finally spending time with her family and not with some college-aged vigilante, as proper middle school girls ought to. Makoto-senpai is with her older brother too--she managed to pressure him into going home to see their parents after so long.

His college friends wouldn’t step near here, for obvious reasons. And the kinda-friends he’s met as a vigilante… well, Koichi’s kind of dense, but even he understands that inviting Eraserhead for a beer here isn’t the most genius idea.

Knuckleduster… well who knows where he really is right now. Koichi only hopes that he’s alive wherever he is. He doesn’t have a lot of chances to say that he misses that insane master of his, not even to himself.

And… that’s the extent of his friends, he realizes. Those close enough that he can theoretically ask to spend some time with him on his little rooftop in the city, at least.

That’s… kind of sad. But he tries not to think about that too much.

There’s no one else here.

It’s not so bad, he supposes. Life as a college student by day, a vigilante by night isn’t exactly the most quiet. He made up a stupid University-related excuse not to go home to Mom’s because villains don’t take the holidays off (and also he prefers meeting the new year without being slapped silly like a fly). So he should really enjoy the quiet, while he can.

Another stray firework explodes above his head. He tries to capture it on camera, for what it’s worth. As expected, it looks shitty, exactly what you get from a flip-phone camera.

He deletes it.

It’s quiet. A breeze blows by, cold and biting, but his All Might hoodie keeps him warm.

It’s the perfect time for a villain to strike. If he were a villain, he’d strike now.

He looks at the streets below his complex. Come on. Somebody? Anybody?

Nope. Nada. He sighs, and looks up the sky again. Maybe he should patrol, or something? Ah, but during holidays like this, the younger heroes are out and about, on higher alert than on a normal day. If he ran into any of them, he might just be the one to get arrested. Not the best thing to happen to greet the new year.

His phone rings like a bell, startling him. “Ah--”

He flips his phone open. A single message, a short one, but just enough to make his heart flutter.

Tensei Iida (2201H): Happy New Year to you and your family! Here’s hoping that the incoming year is prosperous! Let’s work hard together! - Turbo Hero Ingenium

He’s two hours too early for the generic new year’s greeting texts, isn’t he? He must have thought ahead and sent the message before the signals got congested. Figures that the Turbo Hero is ahead of everyone, even new year’s texts.

Still… Koichi’s smiling a little too wide just receiving a generic greeting. Ah, frickin’ stupid, really--

Their chat thread isn’t exactly brimming with messages, either. In fact, this is the first message in their log. They exchanged numbers ages ago during one of their runs, but there really isn’t a good reason for either of them to send messages to each other. Besides, Koichi thinks that it wouldn’t be good for one of the more popular heroes to be in close contact with an infamous vigilante--who knows when the police might need to check his text records, or something…

Oh… and also, his crippling shyness gets in the way of making a proper human-like text too, let’s not forget about that.

His fingers tap nervously against the keys of his phone, erasing and re-typing and erasing his messages again. Double-thinking whether it’s too eager or too disinterested or just right for him to text now, or in a minute, or in an hour--

What is he going to say, anyway? Blessings to you too, please keep watching out for us? Yeah, let’s work hard together, you on the legal side and me on the dark shady criminal side? Yeah man I can’t wait til we run again, please wear tighter jogging shorts this year hehe jk lol. Oh, wait, is this the appropriate time to confess his crazy gay crush yet? With any luck, the moment Tensei reads it, there’s fireworks in the sky, boom boom and then--

Koichi, no. Just. No.

He inhales, and lets his thumbs fly over the keypad. Happy New Year, he starts out in Japanese, ending with a :) .

Too plain. He deletes that.

Happy New Year, he writes, in English this time. There, that’s not too plain, that might be something that Tensei will at least be a lil bit amused to read. Right. He thinks about it a little more, and adds another :) .

Well. That won’t make any hearts throb. That’s… seenzoned material, that’s not really-- yeah, that’s really boring, even for a generic new year’s greeting that he’s spent a lot of thought on.

A generic new year’s greeting that he’s spent five… ten… fifteen minutes composing already. What the fuck, Koichi. Just say something, anything, just fill up the screen with some shitty fireworks kaomoji and blame it on Pop if he asks about it.

He takes a deep breath. Okay, so… the past year he’s gotten away a lot with being a little more impulsive, right? So just… say what you want, and just let things happen. Most likely nothing will happen, so.

Me: Happy New Year! Thanks for all your help this year. Hope you and your family are doing well, ‘specially Tenya. If you’re patrolling, I hope you don’t run into anyone too dangerous lol~

Before he berates himself for sounding stupid, he presses send. It gets delivered at 2218H.

Okay. Well that isn’t so bad. But the cutesy ~ makes him cringe.

He shuts his phone with a satisfying snap and takes a sip of his beer. Ugh, his face is getting warm, this beer isn’t cold enough! Come on, isn’t it supposed to be winter, where are the bitter biting winds when you need them?

No cold wind comes, only another message. He almost tosses his phone over the side of the building the moment his phone chimes again.

He takes a deep breath, flips his phone open and reads:

Tensei Iida (2221H): Thanks, Haimawari-kun! Tenya’s doing well, he’s with our grandparents outside the city. Just about to finish my shift now tho, so obviously I won’t be celebrating with everyone ^_^’ Are you patrolling too? Try not to get caught, okay?

Ahhh ahhh a real reply ahhhhhhh a blessed smiley from Ingenium, ahhh. He needs to go in and put his head in the freezer.

But he doesn’t--Tensei replied to him really fast, so surely it’s polite to reply to him really fast too. I mean it’s the polite thing to do. A guy on patrol in a quiet city has the means to reply fast, so he should return the favor.

Trying to will his heart not to go doki doki much like a shoujo manga heroine, he struggles to type, Oh, im not lmao theres a lot of you out there and i dont want to spend the new year in prison.

Tensei Iida (2224H): You’re right! That’s a relief. I don’t want to go to Tartarus just so we can go jogging together! ;) Tensei Iida (2224H): so are you with your folks? Out of town?

The winky face, and the implication that Tensei would visit him in maximum security prison should the opportunity arises almost kills him on the spot. Koichi suppresses another urge to roll over the cement tiles of the rooftop and manages to reply:

Me (2226H): nah. naruhata Tensei Iida (2327H): oh. In the university dorm, by yourself? Me (2228H): haha no lmao i dont live in the university. i live up on the roof in that one rundown apartment two blocks away cant miss it Me (2229H): but yeah by myself Tensei Iida (2331H): !!! on new years eve? Me (2232H): yeah? Tensei Iida (2335H): Oh! Well, that’s not good... Me (2236H): lmao do u feel that sorry for me Tensei Iida (2337H): It’s not that! Sorry hahahaha Me (2238H): its ok haha

Well, that’s a little awkward. Koichi doesn’t know what to say next, and when the minutes pass by, the speedy replies suddenly stops. He tries to type out another reply to tell him to change the subject but he has no clue how to proceed.

And then, the minutes pass in silence. There are more fireworks rising in the skies now, building up a crescendo for the bigger ones scheduled for midnight. They’re really pretty, but Koichi’s guts are in turmoil, giddiness making them churn in one direction, and pure anxiety in the opposite direction.

Fifteen minutes later, to his surprise, his phone chimes again.

Tensei Iida (2253H): 16th st apartment complex?

A firework goes boom behind his head. Koichi blinks. Uh. yeah, he types in dumbly.

Tensei Iida (2254H): Ok. Look down. :D

Koichi stares at the message for another dumb second and almost trips over himself rushing to the edge.

It’s a little hard to see since he’s way down there, but Koichi doesn’t miss the shiny silver and blue of Ingenium’s mecha-inspired hero suit. He’s waving up at him, and Koichi hopes that he sees him waving back.

He’s prepared to turn on his heel and run down to meet him, but he sees Tensei hold his hand up, in a gesture for him to stay right where he is. Koichi tilts his head curiously, raises both arms in a confused shrug.

He’s far away, but Koichi sees him give his trademark grin. He goes five steps backwards…

And Recipro-bursts his way up the side of the building.

“Holy sh--”

It’s less than half a minute when Ingenium makes it up and over the ledge. Smoke rises from the engines of his arms and it’s really concerning, but the way the Turbo Hero is just smiling at him with a salute, like he’s in a mission to rescue him from the burning building of his heart just... makes him melt in a stupid puddle without any sense of comprehension.

“Hey there, Crawler,” Tensei says, stepping closer to him.

“Hey,” Koichi stammers out. “Um… that was neat and all, but you know we have an elevator, so--”

The pro laughs. “Yeah, but elevators are pretty slow, and I wanted to see you faster than they would allow me.”

Anyone who is interested is free to canvass Koichi’s corpse of its vital organs. Just. Say the word.

“Yeah, you were… pretty fast, haha.” His voice catches like he’s still in puberty. He clears his throat. “I didn’t know you could run up the sides of buildings. That’s pretty insane.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know I could too.”

“Uh.”

Tensei collapses on the floor, legs crossed and arms waving in front of him like they’re boneless. “You wouldn’t happen to have any juice there, would you? My arms are feeling pretty wobbly, and--”

Aaaah wtf! “Y-yeah, hang on a sec, Iida--”

Koichi glides in his apartment in the speed of light and rummages through the scanty contents of his fridge. He has to dig a bit to find the stock of grapefruit juice at the back.

(Since that incident with the Catbus, he buys a stock of them on impulse and carries a bottle with him during patrols. In the tiny chance that he runs into Tensei and he needs extra fuel, he’s frickin’ ready. And if he doesn’t, well… grapefruit juice doesn’t taste that bad, so…)

He’s back to Tensei in record time. He tosses the bottle to him, and the pro chugs it down gratefully. He instantly looks refreshed at the last gulp, puts down the bottle with an aahhh and only grins at Koichi’s distress.

“What the heck, Iida! You haven’t done anything like that before?!”

He laughs awkwardly. “I’ve run up two storeys before, but--”

Koichi’s apartment complex is, like, ten storeys high. “Y-you could have gone splat or kaboom on the way up here, man! You could have been a really bloody human firework!”

Tensei shrugs. “I didn’t though! This tells me a lot about what I can do with my quirk!”

He’s a little too chill for someone who could have fallen ten storeys down onto the dirty Naruhata pavement, Koichi thinks. He gives him an exasperated look and collapses next to him. “Yeah, I guess, but… you didn’t have to do all that just to see me…”

He grins at him again, leans his head closer to his, like he tends to do from time to time. Koichi reckons that it’s because Tensei doesn’t have a good sense of personal space, but all the same it makes his heart throb painfully in his chest. “I felt like I did. Let me show off from time to time, Haimawari-kun.”

Ahh you cheesy bastard, Tensei, you bleeding show-off. It’s a good thing it’s so dark, because he’s sure he’s a cherry tomato by that time, and he can’t blame it on the half-empty can of beer next to him. “Hah! Sure, do that… I’d show off my new moves to you too if I could. You’re lucky I can’t, you’d feel like a total slowpoke hahaha--”

What the fuck is he saying, he doesn’t know anymore. This back-and-forth shit-talking thing (Makoto insists that it’s flirting, but Koichi disagrees because hah why would Iida Tensei flirt with a guy like him?) is more natural when they’re running out the streets and out of breath from trying to outdo each other. Without the excuse of physical exhaustion to explain away his stammering, Koichi’s a little worried of how brainless he might have sounded then.

Tensei only looks more and more amused, and doesn’t get any less close. “I dunno about that, Crawler. Been a while since we had a real race.”

“Heh, you’re right.” Koichi has been more careful using his quirk in public, out of disguise. He doesn’t wear his All Might hoodies when he’s around Tensei, unless by accident.

A silence falls between them, a slightly uncomfortable one where Koichi is hyperaware of the steadily increasing proximity between them, of the alcohol in his veins, of his rushing pulse. Trying to distract himself, he reaches out for an unopened can of beer and offers this to Tensei, who accepts.

He pulls the tab off the cheap, lukewarm thing, tilts it close to his. “Cheers.”

Koichi nods. “Cheers.”

They take a swig in unison. Fireworks explode above them, spurts of colors in the sky. The shine of the lights above do something interesting over the steel of Tensei’s suit.

“Hey, so… if you want to take your suit off--”

“Hm?” Tensei looks down on himself. “You want me to strip down? I usually expect dinner first, but for you--”

“That’s not what I--” Koichi stammers, as he flushes in an ever deeper scarlet that he doesn’t think is even possible. Ah, how drunk is he, huh? How Asian is he that he would turn this red, just from drinking this teensy amount of beer?

He takes off the metal plates more carelessly than Koichi reckons he should be handling them, and lets them down on the floor next to him with a sound. Tensei looks grateful for the extra breathing space as he leans back to appreciate the growing noise and lights above them. “This is an awesome spot, Koichi. The view’s great from up here, huh?”

“Yeah, you know it.”

(And the younger boy leans back, away from him, and tries not to appreciate how Tensei looks in just that tight black bodysuit thing he has underneath. Lean, broad, muscly, like a Greek god, and...)

A few quiet moments pass by. Tensei finishes a can. Koichi works on his third one and he doesn’t know why he’s suddenly drinking so fast. He coughs a little to clear up his suddenly tight throat. “So it’s weird because you almost died going up here, but thanks for coming up here, I guess… it’s pretty cool being up here, by myself--”

Perfectly content, and lonely, and quite possibly drunk by himself by this time, but not as drunk as he feels right there next to him--

“--but it’s cool not… looking at all the pretty lights by myself this time,” he struggles out. Stupid, really, he isn’t even looking at the fireworks anymore, just the beer can under his nose, like he’s reading tea leaves and begging for some clarity.

“Yeah. I’m glad I invited myself up here, too,” Tensei says gently. “I’m shameless I know, but knowing you’re alone up here, I couldn’t help myself--”

Koichi laughs nervously. “Yeah, you are pretty--”

When he turns his head, Tensei’s nose is two centimeters away from his. His eyes are looking right into his, freezing him in place.

“... pretty,” he swallows, already lost. “... shameless.”

Tensei makes a sound in his throat, so quiet that he can’t hear it among the sounds of explosions, but he’s so close he feels the hit, like he Shooty-Go-Blammed himself in the chest. He might be agreeing or disagreeing but fuck whatever they were talking about, Koichi can’t remember why the small talk matters anymore.

Tensei puts one gloved hand underneath his chin, a lackadaisical grin on his face showing off that sharp incisor that Koichi thinks is very cute. “Pretty,” he agrees.

He feels the change in the air, feels the charge spark in between them, through his eyeballs and his little brain.

They lean in closer. Eyes flutter closed. Koichi’s heart is beating fast and hot and electric.

Lips touch.

Explosions go off in his brain.

Ahhh, Koichi screams in his head, as the sensation of Tensei’s insanely soft lips on his beery virgin ones immediately makes him question reality. One hand goes up to experimentally touch the back of the older man’s head, fingers threading through that soft, dark hair. He pushes a little, nudges him just a little closer to him. The minuscule distance between them practically disappears.

“Ahhh--” This time his mental scream is an audible gasp when Tensei pushes him down on the concrete, supporting his head and back with gloved hands, and continues the kissing with Koichi underneath him.

Sparks of light litter the night air, like violent blooming flowers against the infinite canopy of darkness, in booms and kablooeys and claps and other ridiculous noises. Koichi doesn’t care to wax poetic about them, not when his heart is probably doing the same shit, with Tensei and his warmth is right there above him, feeling so nice and right.

Yeah, he belongs right here, right in his arms. What the hell has he done all year, the blur that is his 19 years of life, before this?

Eventually they have to break the kiss to get some of that chill air between their lungs. They gasp in unison, a dashing smile on Tensei’s face, and a dopey smile on Koichi’s. The older man caresses the side of his face. “Haimawari-kun,” he says gently.

“Yeah? Ah, it’s Koichi, by the way.”

Tensei nods. “Koichi-kun,” he repeats.

That right there is the stuff of dreams. Koichi feels like he’s overheating, despite the winter night. “Hah, is it new years yet, Iida? We should be counting down, or something--”

He gets another sweet kiss on the lips instead. Moments stretch before him. The concrete under him feels like the softest cloud as he allows himself to melt under his touch once again.

“It’s Tensei,” he breathes sensually into his ear. “And… honestly, I don’t care about the time, Koichi, just--”

There’s jovial shouting down at where the city square is, and more light and noise, far away from their rooftop.

“Yeah,” Koichi agrees with a smile. “Fuck that clock.”

They laugh like a couple of idiots, and kiss some more and damn, he could do with more of this in the coming years.

Soon, it’s January. The air is getting a little colder. They spend the rest of the first day of the new year in Koichi’s humble apartment, warmer than either of them could ever hope for.

#bnha fic #bnha vigilantes #tenkoi #koisei #haimawari koichi #iida tensei #koichi x tensei #new years kiss #let's celebrate everyone

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far-away-stars · 6 years ago

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Al'ethian C, F, U, Y >:3

thank you bae~!

(C F U Y as in “see, fuck you why”? >>)

(NSFW BELOW! CAN’T ADD READ MORE ON MOBILE!)

——

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He doesn’t have particular opinion of it, neither his own or others’. He swallowed some, he sometimes doesn’t care enough about propriety to clean it from places fast enough. It’s kinda like sweat or slick or all the other stuff one can get on their body while having sex, like lube or whipped cream or chocolate or curry that one time.

Anyway, he isn’t grossed out. Expect when talking pregnancy, then you can probably be sure he’ll want cum to disappear if anything by principle.

Maybe it kinda changed with Zanula after a while, but, well, nothing he admits out loud. Yet.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

He likes to hold and/or fold Zanula over his lap, doing most of the work/lifting. Stuff like the Acrobat, the Basket, the Cradle, or the Aphrodite. Keeping the pissy Togruta busy and held is quite rewarding.

Also just likes to eat her out (also because he often comes first and lady wants to be treated, and well, he doesn’t really complain. Just hearing the noises she makes can make him reel back to first position.), so is quite an habitué of the Inquisitor.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Enough that he owns himself a slap on the head, but not actually enough to get into mind games with his partners. Al likes to keep it simple in bed, like, sure, reading for funsies is perfect, even better if the frustration gets a few laughs off. But yeah, not tease because of power plays or stuff, he’s on the “let people enjoy sex, that’s the point” schnikt.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

(pre-relationship status from the ask of the last time)

High in his free-time, but he tries to keep it decent during jobs. Also it usually lowers among friends, he is usually more of a fucking strangers guys. King of one night stands and picking up people at bars. When sober the sense of intimacy makes him a bit slower to light up. He’s just not really used to that.

(nowadays)

They got a routine, mostly, because of having to deal between work, My’lo, house-chores and stuff, it allows less free time to just jump into it whenever. Not that he doesn’t try, tho. Bothering the wife as soon as the boy is out for school is a bad habit Zanula still hasn’t managed to kick out of him. >> but, well, sometimes it works, so, worth it.

But yeah, of course he yearns for the lady, but the kinda messy-and-casual fucking around has been replaced with… a place to be, not just when horny? He isn’t turned off by intimacy anymore, no-no.

#oc : Al'ethian #ask : Al'ethian #change later #(tumblr mobile fucks up tags that have apostrophes)#(i’ll put the proper tags once on pc)#thank you for the ask bae <3 #ily

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moonmothmama · 6 years ago

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ok. so. The Princess Bride. i read it yesterday.

and right up front, before even a review, i’m gonna go ahead and list everything objectionable in the book that i can recall. please don’t take the length of the bullet pointed items to follow as an indication that the book was wildly problematic and offended me at every turn; it wasn’t and it didn’t. but there were some things that made me go: 😑 or 😒, and here it all is, presented with context, before anything else, because to be honest, i didn’t expect any of it. the film is relatively spotless, which is pretty rare for that era, and if any of you are thinking of reading it, you could do with being more prepared for this than i was.

first off, racism. two passing remarks. one isn’t even in the story proper; it’s in the first whole long intro bit from the author/narrator. that takes some explanation, i suppose: like in the film, the story is presented as a book having been written by “S. Morganstern,” except instead of a grandfather reading to his sick grandson, the narrator is interjecting with notes on the original text that he has abridged. the beginning is a whole long shpiel that, in my opinion, could have been significantly pared down with absolutely zero loss to the story (which! hey! the film did perfectly! go figure!). anyway, the first racist remark is an absolutely tasteless line in which the narrator pisses and moans about his fat son, making a crack about “painting him yellow” and making him a sumo wrestler. y i k e. the other passing remark is from Miracle Max (really, truly, the film version of this scene is miles better than the book version, but contains an important plot detail, so you should prob still read it, but i’ll give you the lowdown if you wanna skip). he refers to Iñigo as a sp*ck (rather bafflingly, i might add, bc Iñigo is a Spanish man... from Spain... not a Hispanic or Latino man from Latin America. so. i mean i’m certainly not an expert on slurs but... i have never in my life heard that term in reference to a person from Spain, and am virtually certain it was invented to refer to ppl from the americas) and in the same breath uses an objectionable term for a Polish person. sooo... again: y i k e. what gets me is that... these could’ve just been edited out? why weren’t they? i mean i know why but

fat shaming! see above. though to be honest, any true negativity about fatness is restricted to the author/narrator’s interjections; there are a few minor fat characters in the story and those depictions, without being too long-winded or spoilery, didn’t offend me (fyi: i’m fat). if you want the details, please feel free to message me about it.

if we can go back to the whole long beginning shpiel from the author/narrator, it’s just... eh. he comes off as kind of a jackass, tbh. not even halfway through it i found myself more than a little impatient for the story to begin, and that could be at least partly because the film spoiled me with a lovely, not annoying, not problematic scene of Granddad Columbo reading to Baby Fred Savage where no one made any racist remarks or ragged on fat kids. the basic gist, if you want to skip it, is that the author, as a kid, had this book read to HIM by his father, who was a Florinese immigrant, and nearly illiterate in English, but still labored over reading the English translation to his American-born son, who adored the book and requested it read to him dozens and dozens of times over the years, refusing to read it himself (though he read plenty of other books). as an adult, he buys his son the book, and is crushed when the son doesn’t like it. he then reads it for the first time, and realizes his father skipped over huge, boring blocks of text. he read his son only The Good Parts. so he decides to edit that shit out himself and release the abridged version he loves so much. add into that some complaining about his wife and some extra blah blah, and that’s pretty much it.

you remember the scene in the movie where The Man In Black/Westley almost slaps Buttercup for what he believes is lying? in the book he actually slaps her. not that his actions seem supported or endorsed by the text, but still, there you are. Buttercup does push him off a cliff soon after, though, so. i wouldn’t call that ‘even’ exactly but, shrug

Vizzini, in the book, has a fucky leg and his back isn’t quite straight, and he’s referred to repeatedly as a “humpback” or “hunchback” which needless to say is Not Kosher

that, as i recall, is it. i hope i’m not forgetting anything. now onto content/trigger warnings:

alcoholism. this shouldn’t be a surprise if you’ve seen the movie: Iñigo has some, shall we say, issues

Fezzik’s parents were... terrible. CPS would be all over them. spoiler: basically they emotionally blackmailed their son into fighting professionally, which they knew he hated, by telling him they’d abandon him if he didn’t

Buttercup has some kinda messed up (read: unsettling but in no way graphic) nightmares after leaving Westley when they’re found by Prince Humperdinck at the Fire Swamp, mostly involving bearing children to the Prince who she once again is set to marry

the slurs and whatnot i mentioned above

violence, obviously. nothing worse than the film as i recall.

that’s it i think.

okay. all that said. did i enjoy the book? yes i did. a lot.

now, you might be thinking: jesus, Kathleen, after all the shit you just listed? and to this i reply: listen. there is no Unproblematic Media, so you either enjoy some things that are flawed, or you enjoy nothing at all. there is plenty of objectionable shit in Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit! fucking plenty! and i love those books! and so do plenty of other people! in my own humble opinion, the good story is worth the shitty bits, because the shitty bits aren’t like, fundamental to the plotline. the story isn’t built on offensive humor or nasty, bigoted attitudes. and they’re also not the most egregious examples of Objectionable Content i’ve come across- not by a longshot. there are levels to offense. there are tiers of bullshit. this is on a far lower tier than a whole host of other things i could mention. but if any of this stuff i’ve listed crosses a line for you, i totally understand and respect that. that’s why i’ve bothered to list it at all. imo, how you respond to objectionable content is important: you don’t ignore it or excuse it, you acknowledge and criticize it. and if you still enjoy whatever the thing is, you allow yourself to enjoy it, without getting hissy or defensive with people for whom the objectionable content ruined the book/movie/whatever.

there you go, there’s my disclaimer for having enjoyed the book. your mileage may vary.

okay. so. review time.

Buttercup is a far more interesting character in the book than the movie, for which the movie can’t be faulted all that much, because you can’t easily translate a character’s inner monologue/unspoken thoughts to the screen, especially not with the time limit that comes with the medium of film. but watching her struggle with her feelings and life choices (and... lack thereof, since her choice is between marrying the prince and being put to death, which isn’t much of a choice, even if she tries to reason it out later by telling herself she COULD have said no... and initially did) creates far more of a bond between her and the reader in the book than, personally, i felt watching the movie. also she has a great line after Westley calls her beautiful at their reunion- she says something like, ‘everyone’s always calling me beautiful, i have a mind too, why don’t you talk about that’

Both Westley and Buttercup are immature, naive, and foolish in the beginning, and if Westley strikes you as Extra Dickish, a) rewatch the film! he did act like a bit of a dick, there, didn’t he? b) remember that in the story he’s a young man between the ages of eighteen and twenty five, which in my considerable experience is the age at which young men are generally at their peak of Asshole. sorry dudes

and not that Buttercup herself is a complete peach! she deals very poorly with her emotions in general and acts kinda shitty herself once or twice. i won’t say too much lest i spoil everything that’s different between the film and the book.

Prince Humperdinck is also a more three dimensional character; still a rat bastard tho.

onto Fezzik and Iñigo.

as i have said in other blog posts, these boys are... pretty much the whole reason i sought out the book. and... jesus.

you get all the way into the tragic backstories that were only hinted at in the film. okay, Iñigo’s backstory was more than hinted- but of course you go so much deeper in the book- and Fezzik’s was less than hinted, reduced mostly to a peek at the insecurity that Vizzini exploits and preys upon to keep him in line. not that you’d have to expend a great effort to him to keep him in line; his personality is docile and non-confrontational. truly not the slightest bit aggressive by nature. he’s also kinda clingy and needy, which is a thousand percent understandable given his childhood, and tbqh doesn’t need to be browbeaten for Vizzini to keep him on his short, cruel leash. which makes it all the more painful! hurrah! 😭

also you actually get to meet Iñigo’s father, Domingo Montoya, in a flashback, aaaand... i kinda love him. probably predictable if you know me.

anyway. tragic backstories. which further illuminate the emotional and psychological issues that make them so dependent on Vizzini, and turn them to lives of crime in his employ. poor boys! oy gevalt. sympathy abounds; i honestly don’t know how you could go through the book and not fall at least a little bit in love with this duo, whose friendship is precious and adorable and a balm to the soul that is aching from their painful life stories and unhealthy coping mechanisms. they’re each, very plainly, the only friend the other has in the world, and are constantly helping and bolstering one another. it’s heartbreakingly sweet. i think those boys will be alright as long as they stick together.

and now, the repeated theme of the book, that is presented with far less intensity in the film: life isn’t fair. which, one supposes, is true. but while the narrator’s framing of that assertion may give you the same misgivings they gave me- bitching about his fat son and his less than ideal relationship with his wife- you can also step back and appreciate it as a wee pearl of wisdom. life is often unfair, but that doesn’t mean it’s altogether bad or that you can’t enjoy it. idk, that’s my attitude, man.

i could talk about the ending here, but i won’t. at least not too much. not to spoiler-ish-ly. if you don’t want to know anything about the book’s ending at all, feel free to not read the last bit here, except for the very last lines which are bolded.

ready? yes? no?

...

the ending to the book is different than the movie. there is a more philosophical, open ended conclusion than you could really get away with in a movie. at least this movie.

just throwing it out there: i believe in happy endings. ones in real life. but i kind of disagree with the author a little bit, in that i don’t think happy endings necessarily have to be perfect and unblemished to qualify as happy endings. that may be the way “happily ever after” is generally presented, but to me, “happily ever after” means, maybe some shit happened, but none of it was completely devastating, and in the final analysis, life was satisfying. that’s the kind of real life happy ending i’m aiming (and hoping) for. this might sound vague but i hope it’ll make sense if you read the book.

if you wanna do that, btw, i read it for free online at allnovel dot net.

#kathleen reads the book #the princess bride #william goldman #book review #ish? thing?#blogging on my blog

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marinette-buginette · 8 years ago

Text

Tales of Miss Fortune (Part 5)

Welp, here we go pals. It is a lil bit meh. There is some dirty tak in the second aprt so caeful. Buuuut the next one will be fun, fun, fun. Here’s a hint: Someone gets drunk

First | Next

Adrien was pacing across his living room, sighing and groaning and running his hands through his hair. He was pretty close to make a hole in the floor. Which would have been unfortunate given he lives in a penthouse. He would probably come crashing through the roof of his downstair neighbors. Tho, last time he checked, the apartment downstairs wasn’t really in use, it was some sort of holiday residence of a foreign rich business man. All the better, if he makes a hole through the floor then he won’t bother anyone. At least his mind could be at ease with one thing. Cause sure as hell it wasn’t with the rest. Adrien continued pacing, his thoughts an entire mess.

Meanwhile, on the couch, Plagg was getting an eye twitch. He couldn’t even enjoy his delicious Camembert in piece, because Adrien was going through an early twenties crisis. Well, he was going through a crisis every week, but this was one of the over the top ones. Honestly, Plagg would probably be more indulgent if there was something important to worth get so worked up over. But no. Of course not. Adrien was getting worked up over the fact that his brain and his dick had diverging opinions.

“Kid.” Plagg called out.

Adrien, finally happy that someone acknowledged him, started pouring his heart out. “Oh my god, I can’t like her, I have morals, I’m a hero, I can’t just like a thief, but I do. I like her a lot and I even touched myself thinking of her… “

“Too much information, kid.”

“... and whenever I do that it is the best masturbation session ever even if I do it like twice a year. And it isn’t fair I’m not supposed to be attracted to her.”

“Kid, honestly… “

“Does it make me a bad guy and no longer a hero cause I’m attracted to her?”

“Kid!” Plagg flew in his face and slapped his nose. “Calm down. Seriously. There is nothing wrong being attracted to her. Honestly, what’s the worst thing that she had done?”

“Well, she stole the Mona Lisa and… “

Plagg scoffed. “Kid, please. I was alive then and I can tell you Leo hated that piece of junk. And the model herself got let expression than the ones you are working it. So don’t tell me this nonsense.”

“But she is a villain.” Adrien complained again, making Plag squeeze his cheeks.

“Kid, listen, no one cares. You are literally angry over your dick functioning properly. How do you humans say nowadays? Righ. You need to chill. So just go get to your room and take care of that nonsense and let me enjoy my cheese in peace.”

Adrien nodded and left the room. But five minutes later when he was laying down with his hand slipping down his pajama pants, it wasn’t Miss Fortune who appeared once he closed his eyes. It was Marinette. Adrien rolled over on his stomach and screamed in the pillow.

Fuck him.

Mornings were never good for anyone. They were especially not good when you were thrown across the floor of a small abandoned factory hall. It was a good thing he hadn’t gone to sleep at all last night, because Miss Fortune had an early start. She stole a sapphire necklace from a private collection, thus forcing him to chase her while the sun rose over the city of Paris. Actually, when put like that it sounded a bit romantic and he wondered if she did it on purpose. Knowing her, she probably did. Picking himself off the ground he attacked her again. And honestly, he had no idea how he managed, but he got a good enough grip to send her tumbling across the floor. He was ready to go for another offensive move and maybe manage to snatch the necklace. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw her curling herself into a ball.

“Miss Fortune?” he called out. The only answer he got was a low whimper that it reminded him of a kicked puppy.

Oh no. Did he hurt her? They hadn’t been pulling their punches when they fought, not ever. But they had never injured each other seriously either. Chat walked towards her.

“Why are you so rough with me kitten?” she whispered when he was finally close enough to touch. Kneeling next to her, she turned her around to face him, careful not to hurt her even more.

Miss Fortune looked up at him with the most innocent gaze he had ever seen on her. He barely managed to hear her when she spoke next. “I thought you’d be gentle.”

Chat felt remorseful. He reached for her trying to help her in a sitting position. And just as he reached for her shoulder, she seized his hands. And that sweet, innocent look vanished as soon as it came. With a smirk, she whispered. "You look entirely vanilla."

The next thing Chat Noir knew was that he was hoisted up on her shoulders before being thrown tumbling across the floor. He tried to get up, but she was faster. She came behind him, her thighs engulfing his, her chest pressed against his backside and her left hand holding the string of her yoyo as he wrapped it against his wrists. Her right hand reached for his hair, running her fingers through it, almost soothingly.

"So how is it, kitten?" she gripped his hair, forcing his head in such a position that exposed his neck. "Are you rough in bed?"

Chat hissed through his teeth as she dragged her tongue along his exposed skin at a torturous pace. Her voice was low, almost predatory and he liked it more than he should. "Talk with me, minou. Are you going to be rough with me? Push me on my stomach and pound me into the mattress? Or aren't you even going to bother with a bed?" she giggled. "Will you just push me against a wall and just take me there? Or bend me over whatever flat surface you see first to make your job easier? Are you going to leave marks all over me? I love territory marking."

As if to prove that, she sunk her teeth into the gentle skin of his neck just under his jaw, biting and sucking before licking it. Chat bit his tongue to keep from moaning. And suddenly, she changed her movements. Her grip on his hair lessened and returned to soft caresses while she was pressing soft kisses along his neck and jaw.

"Or will you be gentle like I aways imagined you being. Just lay me on a soft bed and show me with gentle kisses and affection. Whispering the sweetest things as you spoil me and make sure to not leave one patch of skin unkissed. Going down on me, eating me all night long as if I'm your favorite dessert and you just can't get enough of me. Is this how you prefer it, chaton?"

Her lips moved upwards, setting against the shell of his ear, her tongue reaching out just for a small lick that sent shivers down his spine. And he never thought orders could be whispered seductively, and yet.

"Answer me."

"Both. I'm flexible when it comes to it." he choked out, unable to resist anymore. not when she was so close, showering him with attention and kisses. Not when he could smell her, such a sweet perfume that made his mouth water. He had limits.

Miss Fortune giggled against him. He could feel the vibration from her chest against his back. And to his surprise, she pushed the sapphire necklace in front of him. Settling his ponytail aside, she kissed the back of his neck.

"This is your reward for being such a good kitten. I like you when you are cooperative. You are such a sweet tame kitten when you want to. I'd like to see a little more of this from time to time. But until then." she pressed a long kiss to his cheek. "Au revoir, mon amour."

The next thing he knew was that his hands were free and the heat from her body disappeared. He let himself fall on all fours, breathing heavily. And even with her warmth gone, his face was still burning.

Such a good kitten.

Chat whimpered pathetically as he let himself fall against the floor. Why, why did she had to know how to press all his buttons?

Damn his bad luck.

#miraculous ladybug #ladybug x chat noir #ladynoir #TML #otp:un coup de foudre #my writing #tales of miss fortune

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ab-cogitation · 5 years ago

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I almost wanted to complain about how cold it is this morning, But I don’t have a reason to, because truthfully, I’m happy to be back home in Detroit.

Being here means to embrace all the Seasons and their temperament.

Sometimes the Sun shines and sometimes the Sun need a break, desiring hugs from Clouds. The Sun letting it’s many emotions eject as rain, lightning, snow or to simply seek refuge in the Cloud’s shadow.

See even the Sun knows when to be humble; to stand down, take a step back and be behind the scenes. Likely recharging, resurging then emerging from the night to lead the Moon back to her sanctury. Because the Sun knows that when it’s own inner glow is too bright, it too is blinded. Caught up in the lime lights and lemon drops that it rejects the idea of even lowering itself for recollections which indebted it’s riches. Riches being the fruit of it’s Spirit, its Light, it’s loathing and longing to be recognized beyond warming sensations.

Like how it kisses our skin, draws up sweat and get us in heat to BBQ, bike, bathing suits and seeing the details of one’s frame. A lust we often have no shame in sharing. It’s obvious with how we are staring. Hormones flaring. Emotions blaring like sirens. The kind of vibration that draws courage into hiding and on lookers to confiding with a God they often forget besides Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas. The inadvertently abuse emitted by the Sun is endless.

Which is why it often hide in Clouds us human call emotions.

Coming back home to Detroit has been just that; A Cloud of emotions. There’s a light in me that has been wired into us all, but quite frequently forgotten victories make us uncloth from our armor. Thus becoming susceptible to being sieged by every vice there is.

I learned this hard truth every time I handed out my still tattered Heart. Instead of bandaids and gauze pads with dressing, I opted to hold my Heart together using left over ribbon from holidays and coating it with Modge Podge and glitter.

I gift wrapped my shit, and stood back in the corner awaiting the receiver to be slapped with the element of surprise.

They thought I was perfect, because I’m pretty. Better yet they assumed that the tenderness in my words meant I would be hesitant to aim where it hurts— Accountability. Moreso towards myself, because people really believed the inner Peace I speak so freely of came without consequence. People really thought that I don’t go through things or make mistakes. Yes I’m prone to a fuck up or 10, but I view this shit as lessons given I choose to be a student.

Like….

Returning home to Detroit from Phoenix with the same amount of money I left with ($150) humbled the fuck out of me, but engulfed me to shame more than any feeling. I were under the impression that I were supposed to return with a lot more money and mantras they recited the spiritual journey I embarked on in the West Coast.

I were supposed to come back feeling like that bitch, but being broke to the point all of my mom friends had to join their coins together to get my ass back to Detroit. Which I’m grateful for that. Totally grateful. Super appreciative and thankful that they came through for me minutely, because I were days away from being put out of my apartment.

Why?

Love.

I thought I found Love in a man who was deep in a union with his childhood issues, manic anger and addiction to cigarettes and meth..

Yes… Meth.

But I tried to Love him anyway. I tried to support him anyway. I tried to make sure every morning was greeting with hot breakfast and sucking his dick on the whim so he’d never feel inclined to ask.

I tried to treat that nigga like a King. A God maybe. I saw beyond his conflicting ass flaws and sought a treaty with his Potential. I tried to nurse his symptoms from withdrawal by diving deep into studying herbs and tantric touches.

I tried to support his moves, no matter how mediocre, by investing in his aesthetics and trying to connect the many dots he failed to revisit.

I tried to Love this man. Be the mother he wished he had. Be the Lover he claimed never existed and be the light, the Sun to conquer his darkness.

I tried so damn hard to be what this man needed that the absence of reciprocity made me bitter. Damn near resentful, not vengeful, but definitely irrational from still keeping him around until he decided to leave cuz the well ran dry; both my pussy and pockets.

How about my sense of self worth?

I let the Sun in Phoenix illuminate a light in me to the degree I were blinded by my own insecurities.

How did I end up so desperate? Breaking my contract with Celibacy? I mean.. Ya girl was 1 year and 4 months in without dick. I were craving a booty rub, but what I wanted was Love. I wantrd to be celebrated and honored in the same fashion as our ancestors honored the Sun and now rever the Son of God named Jesus.

I felt saving this man would equal out our yolks as he unknowingly saved me from being lost in my own darkness. He saved me from loneliness just by being there. His company and conversation alone was enough until that shit became arguments, and drove me away from being at my own apartment— my name on the lease; my money paying the bills; my money putting in groceries; yet he somehow would get an attitude when I returned home too soon to MY place… A place that never felt like my own until he left.

That’s when the weight loss journey took place.

After walking my son to school in the morning, I would walk around the neighborhood with my headphones on. Taking in the scenic sunrise, the mountains and the buzz from busy commuters.

Hike, Hike, Hike

Hiking up North Mountain

Strolling around the water Basin on 10th St

I learned of parks and cool ass places in my neighborhood I didn’t know existed. I started testing out my photography skills. I tried my hand as running around the water basin and sitting on bare land with insects under trees.

I began to adopt the diet of the hummingbirds around me; seeds, nectar from flowers, berries and water.

I observed all the plants, trees and flowers around me. Absorbing their divine nature to get an organic understanding of how I want to be; rooted, budding and blossoming, letting the beauty of my essence be conceived.

Unsure of what this plant is, but it smells good as gawk!

More importantly, I cultivated a relationship with the Sun whom really shed light on who I AM.

Sunrise in North Phoenix

Taking the information downloaded home to create vision boards, a plant based diet and staying in the Rhythm with God through dance, yoga and prayer.

My vision board and cluster of craft supplies that I still regret leaving behind.

Introspection, solidarity and manifesting some shit.

It was through these regimens, practices and form of worship that enabled me to cope with being alone. I had to deal with heartbreak and anger. I had to master the emotions of grief and guilt. I had to really take the time to learn and LOVE ME.

Who I AM…

Phoenix was chosen as a healing space given that it was revealed in my name interpretation rendered by BlaqFire Nation. In my birth name, Ashley, rising from the ashes like the Phoenix is said to be apart of my story in this lifetime. Given that prior to my decision to flee Detroit I endured the death of my mother, were exposed on social media for something personal, and learning that I’ve been my baby daddy’s side bitch all these years, I were in a dire need to escape. And since I were too chicken to commit suicide after contemplating the shit over and over, relocating suited best.

And I dipped out Detroit with $150 and my son who was 4 years old at the time on a mentally excruciating three days on the Greyhound.

The rest is the journey of The Alchemist, which is also the title of a book recommended by a great friend of mine.

It was a parable that spoke to me, because much like the character, Santiago, I too were on a quest to find my treasure and love. I also communicated with the wind, the rain, the Clouds, and the Sun, which all led me to speaking with God.

That is when I learned that the treasure I dreamed of could only be discovered at home, in Detroit…

And I have located that treasure.

It was ME all along. It was ME that I found.

So while I don’t possess the material monetary shit that society says define who my status, I own something greater, more profound and infinite—It is the realization that I can only save myself. It’s a knowing that regardless of who or what I encounter, I only have control over me and that is more than manageable.

So while I wanted to complain about the cold weather, grey skies and the Sun playing hide n seek with a nigga after being spoiled in a city where the Sun shines boastfully 300 days a year, the coldest it get is 40 degrees at night during winter month (yes literally a month of cold), and no snow? I ALMOST wanted to regret returning.

You see what comparison does right? It generates a divide in the spectrum, thus taking away the Light that all is worthy of experiencing. Shit even the darkness want to be enveloped in the Sun’s grace.

The Sun… I’m so grateful for it’s solar power. It’s a star that’s assisted with my personal evolution. It’s been the formula to my countless issues. Being in the Sun, feeling the Sun; gazing at the Sun; it’s been my saving grace. Interesting how the simple things, most of which is taken for granted, become the epitome of our healing. Much gratitude to the TRUE SUN of GOD.

Had I not left Detroit, who knows where I’d be mentally…

Can’t ponder on the hypotheticals tho as they’ll strip away where I AM NOW.

Speaking of now… I went from 190 lbs to a solid one fiddy.

I had a great solo Hot Girl Summer. Bike riding, river running and being grounded by Mother Earth to be refined in feminine energy.

The journey continues….

#ABCogitation

Heartbreak and the Sun Saved Me: A Narrative on why I Returned to Detroit I almost wanted to complain about how cold it is this morning,But I don't have a reason to, because truthfully, I'm happy to be back home in Detroit.

#addiction #alchemist travels #detroit #Healing #heart chakra #inner peace #Losing a parent #Mental Health #phoenix #pisces #self love #weight loss journey

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chill-that-ur-inmyhead · 7 years ago

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I’m probs sick oh well #1

1 - Who was the last person you texted?

Holly

2 - When is your birthday?

10/02 - get me loads of gifts plz

3 - Who do you want to be with right now?

Taylor Swift omg yasssss or maybe chilling with J since we never get to

4 - What sports do you play?

NETBALL!... badminton, tennis (sometimes), that reminds me I should really practice netball!

5 - Who is the first person in your contacts?

Aaron! (uni american flatmate)

6 - What is your favourite song as of the moment?

DELICATE - T SWIFT

7 - If you were stranded on an island, who do you wish to be with?

Taylor Swift we need some one to one time I feel or someone who can acc get me off the island right!

8 - What do you feel right now?

So chill a little anxious for this essay I gotta write for Sunday

9 - What chocolate is your favourite?

Guylians (belgian shell chocolate!)

10 - How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you?

11 - Why did you create a Tumblr account?

My horoscope told me to

12 - Who is your favourite blogger?

Me ofc

13 - Where do you want to be right now?

Wouldn’t mind being on a sunny island somewhere not having to worry about this essay (not too hot an island tho I don’t want to melt)

14 - What do you want to be in the future?

Happy

15 - When was the last time you cried? Why?

When I went to see my family back home I always get so emotional

16 - Are you happy?

Not much to complain about I guess

17 - Who do you miss?

I miss Charlie and the juiciest js

18 - If you were given a chance, would you like to have a different life?

I can’t be playing God that’s not me, he gave me this life and I am blessed in many ways

19 - What was the best thing you were given?

My friends got me a princess cut pandora ring for my 17th and it shocked me majorly I was so happy

20 - Who was the last person who called you?

Mother

21 - What is your favourite dish?

Chicken chow mein probs

22 - Who is your best friend?

Charlie (I have many close friends but I’ll always call him first)

23 - What is your biggest regret?

Jump into relationships because I don’t wanna be alone

24 - Have you ever cheated on your partner?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaah yeah, not my proudest moment

25 - Who do you spend crazy moments with?

All kinds of people!

26 - Name someone pretty.

Liv ( I met her yesterday she seems pretty cool)

27 - Who was the last person you hugged?

John

28 - What kind of music do you listen to?

EVERYTHING rn always taylor swift

29 - Are you over your past?

Only way is up!

30 - Who is the last person in your contacts?

Victoria

31 - What kind of person do you want to date?

Someone with a great sense of humour just like mine

32 - Do you have troubles sleeping at night?

Sometimes if there is something on my mind

33 - From whom was the last text message you received?

Holly

34 - What do you prefer, jeans or skirt?

Jeans

35 - How’s your heart?

Confused

36 - Did you ever have a girlfriend/boyfriend whose name starts with a “J”?

Well I have a J rn but whether he’ll be my boyf or just something casual who knows

37 - Do you like someone as of the moment?

Yes

38 - What would you want to say to your latest ex-boyfriend/ex-girlfriend?

You’re great

39 - Do you have any phobias?

Probs being forgotten

40 - Did you try to change for a person?

Yes ofc

41 - What’s the nicest thing someone has said to you?

When I first met one of my ex boyfs we were messing around and I forbid him to talk so I said to him his first words had to be legendary and he said “You’re so cool” and it had me shook I acc blushed

42 - Would you go back to your previous relationship?

No, too many things have changed I’m different

43 - Are you in a good or bad mood?

Neutral

44 - Name someone you can’t live without.

God

45 - Describe your dream date.

Spending time with someone who I’m comfortable with and makes me laugh

46 - Describe your dream wedding.

White and gold and expensive and big and full of sunflowers because they’re so pretty

47 - How many roses did you receive last Valentine’s?

None v day is not the one

48 - Have you ever been kissed?

Yeah

49 - How long is your longest relationship?

Like 6 months

50 - Do you regret your past?

I regret moments but I gotta keep learning and moving forward

51 - Can you do something stupid for someone else?

Yes

52 - Have you ever cried over someone?

UM YES

53 - Do you have a grudge against anyone?

Sure

54 - Are you a crybaby?

When it comes to certain things yes

55 - Do people praise you for your looks?

Sometimes

56 - Did you fall for someone you shouldn’t?

YEA

57 - Have you ever done something bad but you don’t regret?

Yeha

58 - Do you like getting hurt?

I am my own worst enemy so maybe

59 - Does anyone hate you?

Probably

60 - Did you slap anyone whose name starts with an “R”?

Nah not about that violent life

61 - What hair color do you prefer?

BLONDE FOREVER

62 - If you can change anything about yourself, what is it?

I wanna be able to speak loads of different languages

63 - Do you love someone as of the moment?

Yes

64 - Have you ever thought of killing yourself?

ooooo deep but no

65 - Do you have issues with somebody in your school?

Nah

66 - Can you live without internet?

Not whilst I’m studying but other than that sure

67 - What’s the song that remind you of your special someone?

Delicate - Taylor Swift

68 - Are you good at holding back your tears?

I TRY but sometimes that just leak

69 - Are you cynical ?

Depends on my mood tbh

70 - Have you ever experienced being hysterical?

I feel like I have

71 - Are you a KPOP fan?

Yea super kawaii

72 - Do you study hard?

I wish

73 - Have you ever sacrificed something important to you for someone you love?

Noting comes to mind, I’m still young tho

74 - Did you ever had a kiss under the moonlight?

Nooo I want to

75 - Have you ever ridden a boat?

Yep

76 - Did you have an accident last year?

Nah

77 - What kind of person are you?

Act like I’m tough but I’m so weak on the inside!!!!!1!!!!!1!!!11!!!!!!!!!!

78 - Have you ever thought of killing someone?

Nope

79 - Have you ever been jealous?

HAHAHAHAHAHA ME? JEALOUS? FUCKING ALWAYS RAH

80 - How can you prove your love to someone?

Running away from them pretending I don’t think about them 24/7.... yeah that’s normal right

81 - What are you thinking right now?

The amount of work I have to do

82 - Who is the 6th person in your contacts?

One of my exes

83 - Do you have any memories you want to erase?

YES

84 - Have you been hurt so bad that you can’t find words to explain how you feel?

Yeahhhhh

85 - Did you ever badmouth someone?

Probs

86 - Have you ever had an argument with someone?

YEAH alla time

87 - Do you have trust issues?

I might do but what do I have to entrust anyone with I got no secrets open book most of the time

88 - Are you broken-hearted?

Always

89 - Who’s the person who first comes to your mind when someone mentions “love”?

Charlie

90 - Do you think all the pain is worth it?

Good question I’m going to say yes

91 - Do you believe in the phrase “If it’s meant to be, it will be”?

NO GO GET WHAT YOU WANT try your hardest and if it doesn’t workout re evaluate

92 - Who do you want to marry?

Prince Harry but he’s got Megan so I’m screwed!

93 - Do you believe in destiny?

Ah nah

94 - Have you ever thought “I already found my soulmate”?

Ah nah

95 - How do you look right now?

Like a bee

96 - Do you believe that first true love never dies?

Mmmmmm if its true love then no it will never die

97 - Have you found your true love?

Eh nah

98 - What should you be doing right now?

Writing my essay

99 - Name one of your ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends.

Shijo

100 - Did you ever feel like you’re not good enough?

Ha ha end on a deep question why don’t ya... but yes ofc

#thinking #surveys #thoughts #spicynightlife

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whimsically-ominously-auspice · 8 years ago

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Just talked to Jimmy Prock who just busted out in a song and dance about how much he hates Ron Tober to his face Then I talked to Erica and she said she too called after John about the post I wrote about him and said that she wanted to tell him a good job he was doing with his daughters. She said I was saying that but hadn't used those exact words in my writings. I did. I also said how well they're doing on their own. They choose to listen to their father. He doesn't make them. They make good decisions. (Brittany did admit that racing is one of the last things in her mind until she's in the race car.... That's okay. No need to obsess, sometimes it makes it worse. She will take her time. She's very young. Maybe next racing time or maybe in three years. We can love her for who she is. Not hate her because she's busy with life) I told Erica it was cool she did that. She told me that he was all happy then went on talking as he does. I was glad to hear that... This has happened with Matt alot. Alot. And I always didn't write about it because I didn't want to hurt John's feelings or confuse anyone or anything like that. But it was just too much today. I just had it. I told Matt last time it better not happen again. He told me he couldn't promise not to and i told him I wouldn't promise not to kick his ass. He said you meant kiss. Whatever He's a dreamer. But he did say he was beginning to like John a whole lot more... I just rolled my eyes because Probably (he liked John) because John was saving his ass from some angry posts. But yeah... I didn't think it was fair to John to say he didn't win .... An honest race. He won. But Matt was not racing. It wasn't the same. The winner beats everyone but if someone is willing to throw his win then ... I guess it's down to personal preference... Whatever. I don't think it's right. Matt gets mad because I don't respect his free will. Or as I see it his cowering down to fear They asked me earlier... Thing I say about Dejoria... How I say I'm grateful she was present in Jesse's life. I said it could been anyone. Anyone in the world Someone nicer Someone meaner. Anyone they all would had helped me But because Dejoria was in the NHRA it was easier for me. I'm sure Jesse did it because he thought he could fuck with matt... Watch him at least. Jesse knew I was trying to find my memories. If I skipped Jesse then I would go straight to Matt. Then Jesse would be able to step in. So Dejoria was lucky. Cause it could been any girl in the nhra. Any of them. I am lucky it wasn't a Force girl cause John would put me right in there with him. Dejoria's lucky because I'm one of the only people that can do what I do. God knows what's up. He plants little seeds. I didn't hate God for Dejoria I hated Dejoria and I hated Jesse I had every right to And it's what God wanted me to do. Erica said she is helping Dejoria tonight. That's good. Erica is a good person whose not afraid to say the word God. Or to care. Or love. She's easy to love. And appreciate. She said that one day she looked around while she sat at home and wondered what she could do to better serve the Lord. She said that she decided to do alot of what I do and help people. Especially people who are shy or have a fear of acceptance. To help prevent situations we have with Dejoria ... That wasn't on the tip of her list but it was god's Anyway so that's why she is not so great on the track anymore .... She said it's hard. She says it takes so much focus, consideration and thinking and feeling. She said that she practically had no time to think about her car, much less winning. Brittany didn't use those words but Erica did. Erica is right. It's hard. It's so so so so so hard. I take time off. I watch TV, play games, etc. Usually when I watch TV then it's time for everyone to shut up and go away. Reading, especially. I go away. Far away. It was hard for awhile. I couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't watch a movie or TV show for my life. God couldn't even help me read. It was horrible. Just couldn't stop thinking. Now I can. Sadness mostly... But anyways. So yeah. Dejoria is lucky. She just got sucked into the correct wormhole for her needs. Nhra is lucky because Matt ended up there. Also lucky because Jesse did too. And even more so because the FBI told me I needed to look in Jesse's direction. Idk if they knew but that enables Matt to do what he needed to do to correct his life so I could be in it properly Had it been the other way around, Jesse may had done what Matt did And I may not be so lucky. That was the only thing they ever did for me... It took them a very very long time to point me in the correct direction. Only because they, Matt and Jesse, were both in the same place at the same time was they able to tell me anything. But it was one clue. One clue that I didn't get for over a year. Only because I truly cared about someone 100% did I find that clue. Because I really wanted the best for someone. I wanted the best for myself. So I worked the magic. It was all me. I'm proud of that. It's the one thing I am grateful for, that the FBI has done. It's the one thing they did half-assed enough to be good. So Jesse thought he was smart and could trick me back to him. I guess the FBI knew that I had to be smart enough or advanced enough to recognize it as a clue .... Otherwise I would over looked it... Like forever... So in that sense knowing I had to be intelligent in some fashion it was in a way also protecting me. I wasn't smart enough. Nor advanced enough. I just cared enough. That's all Not any qualifications worth a dam. But I got in my own groove that God had set for me. And only me. Because Dejoria and I are lucky. Jimmy Prock and many others said that I hadn't ever talked about God as much as I did today. Except Prock caught on. He said box he slapped himself. He says I used science words to describe God. Like humanity. I don't use the word God. Which I've said before. I don't use the word God because churches use it to instill fear and emotionally manipulate. Sure humanity could be used in the same but often isn't. God ... The word used to shame and hurt me... Not any more... Like... I just used to be so scared of him... It was just a few years... About 3 until I got pregnant and became scared of people again. I knew god trusted me. And loved me. That's why I got pregnant. That's what helped me. He didn't think I was bad at all. I was trusted by God to raise a child. I was still scared. But I was so scared to be a bad mom so my kid wouldn't like me Like my mom. I don't trust her. Even when she's good I'm like ew... I'm not telling you a secret. But my Daughter will do something bad and tell me and be happy. Like one day she lied to her dad and said I always left her home alone while I went shopping. Then he made her promise not to go outside. Then as soon as he left she literally went out side and danced in the sidewalk. Didn't just dance and run in but stayed out there until she got too hot. Oh my fucking god. At my house she would just leave. Or get up and sit on the porch at like 6 in the morning. I had just started working and I had to be at work at like 7 and she had to go to school at 830 so I would leave her for an hour and half while she was supposed to sleep then someone would pick her up and take her to school. So now all of a sudden I left her home alone all the time and she would give my older brother a heart attack by going for a walk down the street while he was picking her up. Or sitting on the porch. I tried to tell her to stop that shit. But. It didn't really bother me. She was being brave and independent And I was just trying not to be scared shitless. I just felt like I had to trust her I wanted to punish her... For what she did to her dad... Like I thought that was the right thing to do but she told me the truth. How could I? If she felt she could trust me I HAD to NOT punish her. It felt weird. But it made me like giddy happy while she just sat there all serious like she p'wned me. It was so emotionally wrecking. I felt it was my right to tell at her and I had to stop myself for what felt like thirty times and three weeks... But it was mere seconds. I who always knows what to say had no idea what to say. So finally .. I tried to scare her by yelling "what the fuck" She didn't flinch but rolled her eyes at my weirdness when I laughed. So I told her that she wasn't in trouble but she shouldn't lie She said she didn't but that her dad just thought she meant that I left her when I went to the store but I only left her for work. With the door locked and her supposed to be sleeping. And someone coming to get her very soon. So that was the end. Point is. It's stupid to be scared All those times I remember worrying about money and I always seemed to have extra at the end... So I quit worrying. And I'm okay. Been on my own for 8 years. Only once had the electric turned off. Because now I'm too sick to work. Not bad. I've done good. My mortgage is paid till July. So. Even tho I quit worrying. Nothing bad happened. Staying with my mom for that month.. it showed me how much she truly hates me. She's jealous cause my dad loves me. My younger brother adores me and I adore him. I see all her hate and rage she has for me. I needed to see it. I needed to see it full force. It didn't bother me. Sure it makes me sad. But I know she hates me. I don't have to try to fill my heart with her. It literally hurts when I do When I care about her But I thought she loved me.. at least some. But she doesn't. It's.. for me... I live and thrive on honesty... Companionship. Most people do She's complaining she's lonely... Now. Good for her. She's gonna stay that way. It's my job to protect my daughter from her. So she's gonna be lonely because I know she truly doesn't want me around. It's really what I needed. I needed to see my brother. Talk with him, live with him. It helped me to see him. It made me see my childhood clearer. Now that the amnesia haze isn't so foggy. That's also how I KNOW Dejoria will heal. And why I remind her of things I use to say to her. The fog Jesse created around her has been lifted. Fully knowing that he has tampered with her car. She keeps thinking her crew chief also has something to do with it. I told her I told him if he did it, I would never tell on him So I won't. Because I keep my promises. Anyways. Whatever. That's a whole other issue But obviously he wasnt good enough for Matt... So.. or well I read Dejoria stole him from Matt. Matt says he said good riddance and he used to tell him "I know more about cars than you" So could he have? He used to tell me "I don't know nothing and I didn't do anything..." Then he would add (about it) after awhile when I said that Jesse said that he s... Well.. long story. He yelled at me earlier saying I told on him I told him to tell the truth or not It's words against words. I don't fucking know. He did use to tell me when she was racing... But I was told she raped him often. So if he did do something, she deserved it. That's what I think. She admitted to raping him often because he was her crew chief. Thought it was better luck or something for her. But so anyway. It doesn't matter. I told Jesse I felt sorry for him because Dejoria wasn't racing well and it reflected on his abilities. And I was concerned about his being able to get a job after working for her... With the way the races went. I was told he would get one. They had it all lined up for when she got arrested Idk if it was true or not. It made me not care. So. Honestly I can't say did he or not tamper with it. I never knew what exactly happened I didn't care. Jesse would say "we did something" That was enough for me. Did he use delago as a sheild or were they both conspirators? That's not really the question we should ask But did she rape him as she admitted? He never wanted to admit to me what had happened. He only said he was embarrassed and humiliated. Sure that's enough motivation. But he knew Jesse was fucking with it. So did he just turn his back or did he tinker? Again... Does it matter? No. That's difficult to say and only applies to special circumstances. Such as this. Had she died... She was suicidal for awhile. So it would been okay. BUT had her Father been in on it. Had her Father approved it. Or had her father done it. Then that's when it becomes wrong He one day ... She said she decided to kill herself. I said okay that's fine. I hate you anyway. Will make my life easier Again. I was her victim. No one was really helping me. I was trapped. So I was fine Then 5 minutes later her dad has it all planned out and he says he will be there to make sure she goes through with it. I lost my fucking mind. He only wants to get rid of the problem he created to protect himself. After that is when I began to look into his past. Her childhood. That's when I began to love Dejoria. Her father wouldn't when he should. That's when I promised myself I would not let her fall and not have a way to get back up. I hated him for wanting to get rid of her. It just my ex-husband. Had he not existed in my life and treated my daughter badly, I wouldn't cared. Dejoria's luck once again was at full throttle. My daughter didn't deserve her father. I had no idea my mother hated me at that time... I hated her, for sure and I knew she as a liar... But not like I know now. But it was because I saw my ex-husband and my daughter. And I knew he was hiding something bad in order to want to do that. So special circumstances. Jesse should be fired. I think that's a bit of selfishness on my part. But definitely alot of common sense. Delago... Idk... Idk who he is without Dejoria. Idk he wants to over look it or start again. I think he can. But in Dejoria's car? Idk. I thought since he had such a bad run with Dejoria he should switch to top fuel. That was a few years ago. That way it was a brand new fresh start and he could just live. Love his life as a crew chief. That way switching to top fuel if he sucks a bit it's okay... Then he can see if he really has what it takes to be a crew chief. Or just a mechanic. He always just said "fuck it" When I said something Idk. He can do what ever he wants. Retire Go to NASCAR. Idk. There's nothing to stop anyone from anything, usually. So... Idk what's to happen. That's not my job to figure it out I don't get paid enough.

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