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chleem · 27 days ago

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Flashing Lights #5

Series; actor Drew x actress reader

Summary: Drew gets involved in the worst scandal of his career. One way to solve it? Proving to the whole world that he’s the sweetest lover to exist. Who better to help than the one person he can’t stand? You, an A class actress with an alcohol addiction. So, will Drew clear up his reputation, or leave with a bigger mess to clean up?

Genre: fake dating, enemies to lovers(?, slow burn, angst, smut,

Warning: mentions of alcohol, swearing, mentions of k!lling oneself, mentions of rape & sa, mentions of drug usage, smoking & vaping,

⋆.˚ please dont copy, if inspired please tag me

⋆.˚ this is entirely fictional, if uncomfortable then don't read

♡⸝⸝ chapter six out soon! | index

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Mid-April 2024

What’s so fun about singing in a desert?

The concept of Coachella always seemed ridiculous to you, yet here you were, walking to see the last performance of the day. Of course, hand in hand with Drew.

The whole day the two of you were 'inseparable', looking at different shows. For most of the time, he’s kept an arm around you, whispering useless stuff in your ear whenever someone films the two of you.

Ever since stepping out of the car this morning, you’ve attracted a few stares, photographers hoping to take pictures of you and Drew. After all, this was your first time attending Coachella, and you did dress accordingly to theme.

The stylist definitely did it on purpose, making you and Drew match. You wore a denim skirt, a cute lace top, cowboy boots, and accessories from brands you’re an ambassador for. Drew wore a denim jacket, black pants, white shirt, with accessories. Oddly similar to yours.

Good thing your sunglasses cover your line of sight from others, especially Drew. You didn’t want him to know that you’ve been glancing at his body since the you both stepped out from the car. But really, he must know that he's attractive, right?

The last time you saw him was at the yacht, and things…surprisingly ended well. You got drunk, which resulted in a relaxed you that was willing to pose lovingly with Drew. After that, the two of you headed back home in seperate flights.

Once you step into the VIP section, you let go of his hand. You feel him staring at the side of your face, but you just stare at the dimly-lighted stage. This whole day he’s been the one initiating intimacy, whereas you were just focused on getting as much free beer as you can (they were passing drinks out). And now, at this last show, you had enough of him.

You down the last of your beer, handing your empty cup to a random bodyguard standing watch. He takes it with a confused face, to which you ignore. Gosh, the beer here was horrible.

Drew attempts to hold your hand again, and you just cross your arms. “Why not?” He whispers in your ear, standing closely to you.

“Because I don’t want to anymore,” you simply say, staring at the stage. When was this show going to start? You couldn’t be more eager to go home, and drink some beer that’s actually good.

“But you held my hand for the whole day.”

“Yes, and I hated every second of it,” you turn over to him while saying this, looking right into his eyes. Even in the night his eyes are bright. How fucking annoying.

“Well, so did I. But you don’t see me bitching, do you?”

“Because you know you have a career to save. I don’t-“

“Don’t remind me about what I’m doing. I know what I’m doing, but I’m not sure you do.”

“I’m right here, aren’t I?” You say, tapping his chest in an annoying way to show you’re in front of him. He looks down at you, poking his tongue against his cheek.

“Stop touching me,” he says in a low voice, his eyes still staring into yours.

“What are you going to do about it?” You taunt, and you push his shoulder as hard as you can, and he doesn’t flinch at all. You do it to the other side as well, gaining the same reaction from him. Is he a stone?

You flick his forehead. Same reaction, his eyes staring irritatedly into yours.

You reach to pinch his cheeks, but he grabs your wrists and pulls you into him. He captures you into a forced hug, your head deep between his chest. You feel one arm around your waist, the other holding your wrist tight to him. What?

All you smell is Drew, and all you see is Drew (’s chest).

“Hug me back and smile,” you hear him say, his fingers tapping against your waist.

“Fuck no,” you murmur against his chest.

“Everyone’s watching,” he says.

Fucking hell.

You shake his hand away from your wrist, and you hug him. You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling his upper body down a bit. Resting your chin on his shoulder, you glance at the back. Okay. The front row all had their phones out and were shamelessly taking photos of you two. Gosh, can’t people mind their own fucking business?

You stay like that hugging for ten seconds or so, until Drew’s hand slips a bit lower to the curve of your ass; you push him away. It wasn’t a hard push; but a push nevertheless. “Getting too comfortable,” you say, but giving him a smile since all the cameras were pointed this way.

“Hand slipped,” is all he says, before wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

You furrow your eyebrows. “That hug was enough.”

“Wouldn’t it be weird if we stopped touching each other?” He says, his face close to yours, and his arm hangs comfortably around you.

His breath hits your face, which you just reply, “your breath stinks.”

He purposely blows another breath in your face, and you flinch away in disgust. “I would slap you if it weren’t for all these cameras.”

You hear him laugh, and you just roll your eyes. You lean into him, holding his hand that’s over your shoulder. If you’ve got to play the part, might as well play it right. “When’s this show going to fucking start?”

“Why? You like Tyler the creator?”

“Who’s that?” Drew looks at you with widen eyes, the corner of his lips curled up. “What? Is he famous? Am I suppose to know who he is?”

“Yeah, we’re about to watch his show,” he giggles at you while talking, his shoulders shaking. You furrow your eyebrows at him, your grip on his hand tightening. You do not like his laugh. His smile. His smirk. The way his lips curl up. You do not like it. Especially when he’s laughing about you, or at you.

Somehow, his smile grows when he sees your confused and hateful expression.

“Stop laughing!” You frustratingly say, attempting to push him away. But he holds onto you tighter, pulling you closer to him.

“Do you live under a rock?” He says, a teasing smile on his face. “Or are you too consumed with your own fame you forget others?”

“You wish you had this problem,” you reply, hoping that would get the smile off his face.

But it doesn’t. In fact, he ignores your comment. “Frank Ocean."

“Who?”

“Kali Uchis.”

“Stop.”

“Richard Jill.”

“I know him,” you lie, widening your eyes and nodding your head to act like you knew a bunch about this person.

“Can you introduce me to him?”

“Well, he’s really busy.”

“With what?”

“Producing music, going on tours-“

He bursts into laughter, throwing his head back.

What’s so funny now?

“The fuck?” You curse, hitting his chest to get him to stop laughing. No one likes to be laughed at, and right now, he’s making you feel horrible.

He laughs, and when his blue eyes stare into yours, there’s tears in them. You want to punch him so bad right now. “I fucking made him up, y/n.”

You push him away, and he actually stumbles a bit, still chuckling at you. Will he stop laughing already? People are staring, and that makes you even more embarrassed. The area is noisy, but you feel as if someone can overhear your dumb attempt to look smart.

“You’re a fucking jackass,” you say a bit louder, which the crowd probably heard.

“And you’re a fucking idiot,” he replies, his laughter dying but the smile still rests around his face.

You want to leave. You don’t want to stay here anymore, you want a smoke. You want some beer that's actually drinkable. You turn towards the exit, ready to leave, but Drew pulls you back. He keeps one hand on your wrist as he starts to take off his jacket.

“Get your hand off me,” you say, while your eyes went down to his body. Woah, was he wearing such a tight shirt this entire time?

“Wear this. It’ll be great for the cameras.”

“Fuck no,” you say quickly. “You laugh at me, and now you want me to wear your shit?”

“It was a joke,” he says, taking the other sleeve off but not before switching hands to hold your wrist. Is he afraid you were gonna walk away while he’s taking off his jacket? “C’mon, just put this on.”

You stare at the jacket. Then you look back at him. No smile, no laughter, no curl at the corner of his lips. “Cunt,” you whisper to him, taking the jacket from him. You put it on, the sleeves sagging and the shoulders feel heavy, way too big.

Smells like Drew. Again.

“Right. I’m the cunt,” he says in a defeated tone. “But at least I know who exists and who doesn’t.”

You raise a hand to slap him, but he catches it and slips it into the pocket of his pants. “People watching,” he reminds you again, leaning closely to your ear.

“Greater reason for me to slap you,” you reply, before pinching him real hard with the hand in his pocket. He groans, quickly taking your hand out and holding it. You resist, but he holds tightly onto it.

Suddenly, the screen starts, and it’s a video of a man in a van explaining stuff.

“That’s Tyler the creator,” Drew tells you, pointing to the screen.

“I fucking know that, you dick,” you reply, eyes glued to the screen.

"Do you?" He playfully whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine.

But then, calls for Drew are heard, causing the two of you to turn to the source. A group of friends at the front row, waving at Drew. You’ve never seen any of these people, but Drew seem to, because he walks over to them, and holding his hand, you’re forced to walk over as well. “What are you guys doing here?” He happily shouts, trying to be louder than the music.

A short girl with messy curls smiles at Drew, “I should be asking you that! Why did you cancel on us if you were coming here as well?”

A man beside her says, “can’t you see? He’s on a date.”

The group looks at you, first eyeing your jacket, then at you and Drew holding hands. Then they stare directly into your face. “Shit, so this is real?” The short girl asks, a mocking smile on her face.

You furrow your eyebrows at her. Weird.

“Yeah, um, Y/n, these are my friends,” Drew says, and he points at each of them. Firstly, he points at the short girl. “This is Odessa. This is Jay, this is-“

He tells you each of their names, but you get lost pretty quick, even though this was only a group of six people. They kept looking at you in awe (duh, you're an A-list actress) with warm smiles on their faces. Well, not all of them. The short girl, who’s name is Odessa, keeps her eyes on Drew the whole time, her hand going to touch Drew’s arm, even suggesting to watch the show together.

Of course Drew says yes, telling security to let his friends through. You stay quiet; they were his friends, not yours. And you didn’t want them to get a piece of your mind, because who knows what you’ll say once opened your mouth.

Drew seems to know what you’re thinking, because he whispers in your ear, “You’re not going to ask them to leave, are you?”

“I’m not that bitchy,” you shrug, eyes on the stage as Tyler the Creator is still in his cabin, on the big screen. “But you said my thoughts.”

“Aren’t you the nicest,” you hear the sarcasm in his voice, and he drops your hand, now wrapping his arm around your waist, under the jacket. His thumb rubs in circles on the bare skin, and you hate how it causes your goosebumps to rise. “Besides, my friends won’t judge you.”

“Judge me?” You turn to him, and when you do, you release how close he was. You glance at his lips, but quickly look back into his eyes, hoping he didn’t catch that. “What is there to judge about me?”

“You reek of alcohol,” Drew says, his tone teasing.

“Everyone stinks here.”

“But you stink everywhere,” Drew shrugs, turning his focus back on screen.

Then, Tyler the creator jumps out the screen, which shocks you. Your eyes widen, mouth open. The crowd goes crazy once the music starts. The music is good, and you bop your head lightly to it. Crazy how you’ve never heard of him or his music before.

But you weren’t able to fully enjoy the show.

Drew and his friends are talking, at a slightly loud volume. So, even if you didn’t want to, you can hear their conversations. His friends mostly asking how he’s doing, catching up about big events in each others’ lives, etc.

You wanted them to shut the fuck up and silently watch the show.

You looked over at Drew, trying to show him your discomfort, but all you see is sincerity on Drew. A smile on his lips, nodding while listening, and just…just talking about whatever with his friends. He makes funny faces, impressions, and jokes that makes them laugh.

His friends seem to enjoy his company as well, listening to him talk and adding teasing comments in-between. Their bond seems deep, and sincere.

You don’t have any friends; so you didn’t know how this felt like. To have someone to talk to, talk about whatever and talk whenever.

You turn back to the stage, deciding to leave Drew and his friends alone. Your grip on his hand tightens though, but you’re sure he doesn’t realize it, too into the conversation between his friends.

——

Early May 2024

The PR team obviously thought a relationship would solve you and Drew’s negative images, but it wasn’t enough.

You were seen at a yacht, in Miami, right after the F1 grand prix. You weren’t careful enough, which lead to you being photographed with another A-list actor, touching, laughing, feeding each other food. It looked real couple-y.

Not only that, but you were photographed sharing bottles of wine together. From anyone’s point of view, it was a date.

Fans attacked all your social media platforms, urging you to explain yourself.

Well, your company addressed it. Saying that it was a casual hangout between friends and how the wine was just to 'pair along with the food'.

While you were out drinking with another guy, Drew was at the Met Gala. And it happened to be the day after the photos were leaked. Poor Drew. But he handled it exceptionally well, steering away questions about the relationship.

One thing for certain now, Drew was committed to this relationship, unlike you. You, who cooperates entirely based on your mood, and go around creating as much trouble as you possibly could.

Maybe the public was right. Right for years. You are still just an immature kid, who still has white powder up her nose.

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word count: 2.5k

ִ ࣪𖤐 a/n: thx for reading this chapter! things are getting...interesting 🙃 and youll realise that i didnt write out the date on the yacht...(cause i got lazy) bc it would just be yn and drew bickering. and every chapter will be like this, months/weeks apart. anyways, thx for reading! and thx for liking not a big deal (did not expect it to blow up) and due to popular demand, part 3 is in the works!

#drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #drew starkey x reader #fiction #angst #drew starkey x you #actor #actress #series #fake dating #enemies to lovers #flashing lights #chapter 5

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ninii-winchester · 4 months ago

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Unveiled Sorrows (Part 8)

Pairing : Dean Winchester X Reader, Sam Winchester X Reader (platonic)

Word count : 5k

Warnings : angst, spoilers s6, canon level gore, violence, language, Samuel is fucking annoying, also i made up the signal on my own (it’s not very creative lol)

A/n : This series follows canon plot line but some scenes might happen differently or be completely changed. Check the warnings for each part before continuing.

A/n 2: gif (1) from Pinterest. Credits to owner.

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION TO COPY MY WORK, TRANSLATE IT OR POST IT TO ANY OTHER PLATFORM. REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED.

It was a given that Y/n knew Dean wouldn't stay. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a bitch. She has been holding on for too long, pretending to be strong. It was time she dealt with her feelings. She would let herself wallow in misery. She didn't know for how long had she sat in her room. She checked that clock it read, 10am. She sighed sitting up against the headboard. She needed someone to be by her side. She didn't feel like crying, too exhausted for tears. She looked at the crib and watched Adeline sleeping soundly.

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Y/n sighed before closing her eyes. "I know this is bizarre, but I'm desperate here. I know you and Dean have a connection and you only respond to him but Cas, I need you. If you hear me please, respond." Y/n breathed opening her eyes. She peeked around her room for the angel but he wasn't there. "Dean's bitch." She muttered turning to lay on her side and gasped when she saw Castiel sitting on the other side of the bed.

"Hello Y/n."

"Cas you scared me."

"You called. I came." He replied flatly. He's back to his angel self and he's emotionless as ever. "You look terrible."

"That is comforting, thanks." She replied sarcastically. "Where've you been?"

"Around."

"I know you're busy with angel business so thank you for coming."

"You seem to be in terrible condition. And you sounded...anguished." Y/n nodded. She moved and wrapped her arms around his frame and he hugged her back awkwardly. Y/n felt safe and not-terrible. He may not be accustomed to human emotions and gestures but his presence comforted her.

Surprisingly, he stayed with her for more time than she expected. He brought her food as she didn't want to leave the room. Adeline woke up with a loud cry and y/n tended to her. When Castiel held Adeline he had half the mind to brand the child with the sigil but he knew y/n wouldn't let him, she's too small and it would hurt her. He just wanted to keep her safe but he wouldn't do anything she or Dean wouldn't allow him to.

"I have to go." Cas said all of a sudden. Y/n nodded, she knew he would stay if he could. She was grateful that he even came.

"Sure, thanks for coming Cas." She said taking Adeline from him. She didn't even get an answer when Cas disappeared.

It was around six pm when she heard a knock at her door. Y/n tensed at thought of having to interact with anyone. Bobby knew well enough when to leave her alone so either it must be really important or it was Lisa. She opened the door finding, it was the latter.

"Hey, I didn't mean to bother you but Sam called and said you didn't answer when he called, he's worried." She spoke politely. "you've been in your room the whole day and it worried me too."

"It's not a bother at all. I'm just tired." Y/n replied with tired smile. She actually was tired.

"It's not because of me is it? That you're scooped up in your room?" Lisa asked hoping it wasn't the case.

"Oh no not all Lis." The nickname and y/n's light tone made the woman feel a bit better.

"Okay." She smiled. "Sam and Dean left for my place in the morning to track the Djinn. They might be back tomorrow." Lisa informed.

"Alright." She nodded and Lisa turned to leave when Y/n spoke, "I'll uh call Sam. And thanks for checking in."

"Anytime."

Y/n closed the door when Lisa left. She grabbed her phone as saw five missed calls from Sam, each with a gap of an hour. He must've been worried. She dialled his number and pressed the phone to her ear. He picked up on the first ring.

"I know you hate me but that doesn't mean you get to leave me worried sick." Was the first thing he said as he answered the phone.

"Hello to you too." She replied.

"This isn't funny. Where have you been? You haven't left your room the whole day, you weren't answering my calls."

"You keeping tabs on me Winchester?" She teased.

"It's called caring." Sam replied, harsher than he intended.

"Sorry I was in my head. I needed space." She replied honestly.

"Take as much space as you need. Next time just let me know you're okay.!!"

"Yeah." She nodded even though he can't see her. "How's it going?"

"We've checked the place. There are three of them. We figured they'd only come out when it's me and Dean alone. So we're waiting."

"You're waiting for three Djinns to attack you while its only you two. Not to mention they're extremely powerful ones who almost killed all three of us?" Y/n sighed at their stupidity. But then, what are Winchesters if not stupid.

"That's one way to put it." Sam chuckled. "But Samuel's backing us up."

"For the record," she softly said, "I don't hate you."

"Uh thanks." He said making her chuckle. "I think i gotta go."

"Be safe, Sammy." With that Sam hung up.

It was around midnight, y/n was in the main room reading, Adeline laid in the middle of the room, staring up at the devil's trap, gazing the the symbols with curiosity. The shapes enticing the little baby. She had a good amount of sleep while being trapped inside the room so now she's wide awake keeping her mother company.

Y/n heard the sound of tires against the road and then Sam's car's horn. She didn't want to see Dean but she couldn't just hide anytime he was around. She knew it was going to be a frequent occurrence now that he knows Sam's back so she stayed seated. Sam and Dean appeared at the doorway and she shifted her gaze from the book to the men.

"How'd it go?" She asked the younger brother.

"Terrible. But we killed them."

"Basically the story of every hunt." She retorted and Sam chuckled walking towards her. He kneeled beside Addy and was going to pick her up when Y/n swatted his hands away. "Clean up first."

"You're mean." He pouted.

"No, you're dirty." Y/n shooed him away. Sam didn't argue and made his way out of the room to get cleaned. Dean, glanced at Adeline and left without a word.

Now that the Djinns were gone, Lisa and Ben were free to go back to their place. That meant Dean will leave too. She wanted to be bitter but she knew the way Dean thought. He dragged them into this, put a target on their backs and now it's his responsibility to protect them. After they left, it was just her and Bobby. Sam had been gone with Samuel again.

"Hey Bobby!" She called out to the older man who was playing with Adeline. "I think I'll move."

"You two are idjits you know that?" His reply made her snort. He was against the idea but he knew she had made her mind.

"It's the company." She teased which earned her a glare from the old man.

"You better be safe, ya hear me?"

"You got it."

Y/n leased a house in a neighbourhood few towns over. It was her fresh start. No hunting, no monsters, no Dean. Just her and Adeline. The house was well furnished and she didn't have much stuff to set up anyway. She had a spare room for a nursery. She set everything up but she put the crib her own room. With everything she knew was out there, she wouldn't leave her baby alone.

"This is a bad idea." Sam said pacing in her new living room.

"It is not." She replied glaring at him. "Would you stop pacing."

"It's not safe. You're too far from us. We can't reach you in time if something happens." Sam said sitting on the couch.

"Sam I've monster proofed the whole house. There's salt on every window, devil traps all over the place. I've got my gun, holy water, machetes, plenty of silver...Even Bobby checked the whole place." She assured him.

Sam sighed leaning back on the couch. He still thinks its a bad idea. He just wants her to be safe.

"I got out Sam. I'm not a hunter anymore."

"Yeah but that didn't stop that Djinn to come after you. Who knows what else could be after you. You and Addy were safe at Bobby's." Sam tried to argue. "I know you left because of Dean but he won't be going over. He stopped hunting for good." She gave him a look but he continued. "He did. He made Lisa and Ben move. And he told me he's done. He won't hunt with me or anyone."

"Look, i know you think I'm unsafe but I promise you I'll be fine. I'll call you even if I doubt anything in the slightest, I swear."

"Okay." Sam accepted defeat. "Get me a beer."

"Hey, don't order me around." She kicked his leg lightly, a smile on her face. "Go get it yourself. And get me one too." This might actually be a good start. She felt happy. She could start fresh. Or could she?

She had been living under one of her aliases, Emma Parker. And her daughter Adeline Parker. The neighbourhood was decent and people were good. It had been smooth sailing for the past two months. Until she heard the news of six months old babies disappearing from locked homes and their parents being brutally murdered. It was happening too close to her location. However she didn't think it was some sort of supernatural gig, even if it was she was prepared to fight whoever it was.

Y/n's phone rang and she sighed knowing who it was and what they're going to say. She answered it begrudgingly.

"Y/n you need to go back to Bobby's." Sam told her while driving his car.

"Sam that's bullshit and you know that."

"I don't care whatever it is. You need to leave. Addy turned six months a week ago. They're killing parents and taking babies. Even if it's not our kinda thing it's not safe." Sam argued.

"Sam how long am I going to keep running? I can't lock myself at Bobby's. Addy's gonna grow up, she's gonna go to school. She's not growing up in this life Sam, I'd die before I let that happen."

"It's not safe considering what's happening in your town."

"Just because I don't hunt anymore doesn't mean I don't know how to fight. Be it a human or a monster. I'll kill anyone who tries to harm my baby." Sam didn't speak for a moment. He sighed before agreed.

"I'm in town investigating this thing. So I'll see you soon yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sam went around investigating the murders and disappearance of the children. He went to Y/n's house and the two of them brainstormed MO's, reasoning and potential suspects.

"You don't have anything to do with Harper security, do you?" Sam asked y/n who brought him a beer, with Adeline on her hip.

"Nope, why do you ask?"

"All of the houses had their services. That's the only thing in common." He said standing up and grabbing his jacket.

"Where are you going?" She asked as he stood up abruptly.

"Well I'm on this case, as a Fed or a Hunter. Can't stay here long. It'll put a target on you." He said grabbing his things. He kissed Addy's head and then hers. "Lock the windows and doors. Stay safe." With that he walked out of the door.

After Sam left he went to watch another house that had Harper security. He watched as a man entered the house, he followed him inside. The man turned to attack him and Sam fought back, he nicked the man with a silver knife and his hand burned. It was a shifter. He left the place and Sam checked the place and found a baby. He sighed.

"Dean i need your help." He said into the phone as he got into his car.

Dean met up with Sam and sighed as he saw a baby in the backseat.

"You need help with a baby? Haven't you been around Adeline to know all the baby stuff." Dean rolled his eyes at his brother.

"No. Not most of the time. Besides I'm working a job here." Dean sighed knowing Sam's right.

The two of them headed to a store to get necessary supplies for the baby and they ran into the shifter. It took the baby pretending to be a nice old lady. But Dean watched the woman in the cctv cam and noticed her eyes were like those of shifters. Sam and Dean fought with the shifter and grabbed the baby and ran out of the store. The two of them were in a motel room Sam was going through the papers while Dean was watching BobbyJohn. Sam stopped his work to watch Dean.

"You're surprisingly good at this." Sam commented.

"I've done this before." Dean replied vaguely.

"Last I remember Ben was a full grown child." Dean glared at his brother.

"I put Addy to sleep. Once." Sam raised his brow in curiosity.

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No." Dean immediately replied.

"Alright, you stay here with Bobby John and I'll go see what i can find out." Sam said getting up. Dean just nodded.

Sam was driving to meet with one of the babies' father, who was not at home during the attack. After talking to him, he reached to a conclusion that the shifter cloned himself into the husbands, knocked up the wives and is now collecting his own babies. He needed to tell Dean the baby is a shifter. He retrieved his phone from his pocket to call Dean but before he could, his phone rang.

"Hey." Sam answered.

"Hey, how's it going? Did you find anything?" Y/n asked.

"Actually, I found everything." He told her everything he found out. He just left the part where he was working with Dean.

"Well that's great. Now you have nothing to worry about since Addy is Dean's daughter and not some psycho shifter's." She said over the phone.

"Yeah I'm relieved over that." Sam responded.

"Yeah, how about you come over for dinner tonight?"

"I can't y/n, I'd love to but I've got one of the babies with me and I've got to take him to Samuel." Sam explained. "Look, I have to go but I'll call you."

Sam went back to the motel and saw a sherrif dead in the motel room and Dean carrying a baby that looked like the baby on the diaper box. He shifted.

"We've gotta take him to Samuel."

Y/n was in the kitchen when she heard the doorbell ring. She opened the door to see Sam in standing there. She knew it wasn't Sam. He was on his way to Samuel. And she knew a shifter was in town so she knew what she was dealing with.

"Sammy hi." She invited him in. She knew she had to attack when he least expects it. "I thought you were too busy to drop by."

"Yeah uh, I did. But family first you know." Family my ass Y/n thought to herself.

"That's amazing, you staying for dinner right?"

"Sure." He replied taking a seat on the couch. She watched as he kept eyeing Adeline who was crawling throughout the living room. Ever since she learned how to, she hasn't stopped.

She has to do something quick or else she'd regret it. She can't risk leaving Addy alone with the monster so she subtly grabbed a silver knife from the cabinet behind her and put it in the back pocket of her jeans. Her gun was taped under the table in the living room and it was stocked with silver bullets. She cringed at the idea that crept in her mind. The shifter doesn't know the relationship between her and Sam.

"You know..." she walked towards the shifter who was pretending to be Sam. "It's been a while since we had some fun." She dropped herself in his lap and he immediately grabbed her hips. Yep not my Sam. She thought to herself.

"I think so too." He breathed as he felt her up. She was internally cringing so bad, first this was a slimy shifter she was straddling , who on top of that was wearing Sam's face. Her best friend. She was hating the feeling of his hands on her body. She lifted her shirt over her head and he immediately distraced by that.

Men, she rolled her eyes.

He was eager to latch his mouth to her skin and she knew she had him. She slipped the knife from her pocket and stabbed him in his chest. The creature groaned and Y/n immediately jumped off him and went up to pick Adeline from the ground. The shifter removed the knife from his chest and threw it away. He grabbed her by the ankles and threw her against the wall, blood trickled down her head. He went for Adeline but y/n pushed him.

She grabbed the knife and lunged at him but he grabbed her arm and twisted it. He made her stab her own side. She screamed in pain as blood gushed out of her side. She knew better than to remove the object so she elbowed him in the neck and crawled towards the table and grabbed her gun.

He had picked up Adeline who was now wailing in his arms. She knew it was risk shooting him while he was holding her daughter but she knew she couldn't let him take her. She took a deep breath and steadied her arm. She's done it a thousand times before, she can hit moving targets. It should be easy. She gripped the gun tightly in her hand and shot twice at his vacant shoulder on the side he was not holding Adeline.

"Tell her father I want what he has. I'll be in touch." With that he ran out of the house.

Y/n watched in horror as he left with Adeline. He should've been dead. She shot him with silver bullets. What does Dean even have that the shifter wants? She clutched her side as she grabbed her phone and dialled Sam.

"Sammy. He took Adeline." Sam slammed the brakes, hard.

"What the hell Sammy?" Dean asked as Sam reversed the car and drove past the speed limit. Sam was breathing hard as he clutched the steering wheel tightly. "Would you tell me what's going on?" Dean demanded.

"Dean shut up." Sam said aggressively. Dean was shocked at his outburst. It was only a matter of minutes before they arrived a house, which Dean had never seen before. Sam ran out of the car and Dean watched as his brother kicked the door open to the house. He grabbed the baby from the back seat and followed Sam.

Sam entered the living room and the whole place was bloody, The whole place looked like a mess, shattered lamps and photo frames. A bloodied Y/n was on the couch holding a kitchen towel to her side. A bloodied knife and gun was placed on the table. He rushed to her side.

Dean walked inside the house hesitantly, unsure of what to expect. The moment he stepped inside his heart stopped. Out of everything in world this is the last thing he expected.

Y/n was barely holding onto consciousness and Sam patted her cheek to keep her awake.

"Hey stay with me." He looked down and removed the towel to see blood gushing out of her wound. "You need stitches. Dean grab the medical kit." Sam looked back at Dean who was frozen in place. "DEAN." Sam yelled.

Dean shook himself as he watched his biggest nightmare come true. The love his life barely hanging to life, bloodied. He jumped into action when Sam yelled his name, he ran inside the kitchen and checked all the cabinets. He found the box in the cabinet above the sink. He grabbed the box and another clean towel from the shelf. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey that he luckily found. He re-entered the room handing the box to Sam. She was already shirtless so it was easier for Sam to patch her up. Dean poured the alcohol on her wound and Sam cleaned the area. Y/n hissed in pain as he did so.

"Bite into it, sweetheart." Dean said place the clean towel inside her mouth. She clenched her teeth as Sam stitched her up. Her scream was muffled by the towel inside her mouth. Dean clutched her hand in his as she withered in pain. "Almost done, baby."

When Sam was done he placed a gauze over the stitches and closed the wound. Now that the blood was not oozing out her body she could keep herself awake. She removed her hand from Dean's grip and threw the towel on the floor.

"Son of a bitch." She gasped sitting up. "Give me that." She grabbed the whiskey from Dean and gulped down the liquid. "He took Addy." She tried to blink back the tears. "He said, tell her father I want what he has and he'll be in touch." She cried. Sam wrapped her arms around her as she sobbed.

At her words the two brothers immediately eyed the baby in the carseat.

"Tell us everything." Dean said. She told them everybody that happened.

"It should've died, i shot him with silver bullets, twice." She cried.

"I think it was the alpha." Sam replied.

"The alpha? As in the very first of their kind?" Y/n asked and Sam nodded.

"It would've hurt him but only shooting him in the heart would kill him." Sam added.

"I thought about it, I would've done it had he not have Addy in his arms." Y/n sobbed.

"You should've called us." Dean stated.

"Excuse me?" She glared at him.

"You shouldn't have taken on him alone, should've called us." Dean replied.

"And you think he wouldn't have noticed me calling Sam, when Sam was clearly sitting in my living room and last I remember you were busy playing house." She snapped back.

"You could've gone to the other room." Dean argued.

"And left my daughter alone? Like you did?" She yelled. This made Dean and even Sam flinch.

"Hey.. calm down. Fighting isn't going to bring Addy back." Sam intervened.

"Sammy please do something, bring her back. I don't have any reason to live besides her." She cried in Sam's chest.

"We'll get her back. I promise." Sam rubbed back in a comforting manner.

Dean watched as his brother was comforting her. He wished it was him in his place telling her that it'll be alright, they'll get their daughter back. Hell he wished it didn't happen in the first place. It was all his fault, He should've been here, he should've.... His train of thoughts was broken by the ringing of a phone.

Sam answered his phone, it was Samuel calling.

"What?" Sam exclaimed. "Tell him we agree. Yes we'll be there. Is she okay?" Dean and y/n heard the one sided conversation. Sam nodded as he hung up. "The shifter has taken Addy to Samuel, and he's bargaining. Addy for that child." Sam said gesturing to the child. It was the first time she noticed that child's presence.

"Let's go then." She said standing up.

"I don't think you should come with, we'll bring her home." Dean said fuelling y/n's anger.

"What makes you think you're in position to give orders? In a situation regarding 'my' daughter?" She sneered, emphasising on the word 'my'.

She grabbed her shirt from the floor not caring it was stained with blood. She grabbed her gun and stuffed it in her jeans. She put on her jacket and limped towards Sam's car. Sam and Dean followed behind her, Sam put the carseat with the baby in the back. Y/n rounded the car and opened the passenger's seat door.

"I'm not sitting beside that thing or I might break its neck. Baby or not." She said sliding inside and slamming the door shut. The two men nodded and got inside the car. Dean sat in the back while Sam drove.

They reached Samuel's warehouse in a few hours. The three of them walked inside the place, the carseat in Sam's hand. Christian took them to where Samuel was. The old man stood from his seat and glanced at the shifter baby.

"Where is he?" Sam asked.

"He didn't come himself, he sent a message. He said to signal him when were ready to deal." Samuel replied.

"And how do you do that?" Y/n asked shifting her weight on her legs.

"Sacred shots." Samuel said.

"Sacred shots?" Dean asked.

"Yeah there's pattern while shooting. First you shoot left in the air then right and then twice directly in the middle." Samuel explained. The three of them nodded. Y/n watched Mark, Gwen and a few unfamiliar faces walked inside the room.

"Now we need a plan of action, Mark-"

"What plan of action?" Y/n interrupted Samuel.

"To catch him of course."

"Oh hell no. You're not using my daughter as bait for whatever sick plan you have." She said sternly.

"Y/n, I know Adeline is your daughter and I adore that kid but we have to catch him, he's the Alpha." Samuel explained. "We will get her back."

"You will not. You said you made a deal. You lied to us to bring this child here." She yelled.

"I did what had to be done."

"Samuel. This isn't-" Sam started but his grandfather cut him off.

"Sam i know she's your friend," he gestured to y/n "and you care for her child but this is neces-"

"That's enough." Dean yelled. "You will give him this child and get Adeline back." He told his grandfather. Samuel walked towards Dean, staring him down.

"And why would I do that?" Samuel challenged.

"Because she is my daughter." Dean yelled. "and you will not play anymore games, do ya hear me?" He growled staring into his grandfather's eyes.

The room fell silent at his confession and the old man took a step back. Y/n watched Dean's face turn red in anger and his adam's apple bobbed as he stared up at Samuel, daring him to go against his word. The aforementioned man nodded his head in agreement.

They had decided that it would be Dean who would go out and deal with the shifter. He went to the backyard and fired the sacred shots. He kept the baby on the ground who was still strapped in the car seat.

"I'm here." Dean yelled. He heard the leaves crunching underneath someone's steps. He turned to see an unfamiliar man walking towards him with Adeline crying in his arms. Dean's skin crawled as he watched his daughter in a stranger's arms. "I've got what you want. I'm here to deal. No games." He said to the man.

"You know it's you humans who don't stick to your words. I'm just here to get what i want. I haven't touched a single hair on your daughter's head." The man replied.

"That better be the case." Dean replied. He grabbed the car seat and walked towards the man. He set it beside the man and held his arms out for Adeline who was still crying.

"No games?" The man asked.

"No games." Dean nodded. The shifter placed Adeline in Dean's arms and he sighed in relief having his daughter back in his arms. The shifter leaned down to pick up car seat and looked around suspiciously, still not trusting Dean. He picked the seat up and when nothing happened, he walked to where he came from.

"Daddy's here, baby. You're safe, my love." Dean cooed at his daughter. Tears pooled in his eyes as his heart was beating profusely in his chest. He bounced the little baby in his arms, Adeline curled herself in his chest as if she recognised his warmth. "It's okay, angel daddy's got you." He walked back to the warehouse and Adeline had stopped crying. He opened the door to Samuel's study where everyone was waiting, Y/n ran towards him and grabbed Adeline from his arms. Sam sighed in relief at the sight of his niece. Y/n clutched her daughter to her chest, crying and kissing the little baby all over her face.

"Oh Baby you're okay. I'm glad you're okay." She said to her daughter as if she'd understand her.. Holding Adeline in one arm she turned to Dean and wrapped her arm around him. "Thank you Dean." She cried. "Thank you for saving our daughter." She sobbed in his chest. He wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her closer.

"You don't have to thank me, baby." He kissed her head, cherishing the moment. He pecked his daughter's head, grateful that she was okay.

Tags:

@spnfamily-j2 @galway-girlatwork @deangirl96 @queensilber

@s0urw00lf @monkey-d-hoshizora98 @deans-baby-momma @fullbelieverheart

@riah1606 @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @hobby27

@suckitands33

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maximoffcarter · 8 months ago

Text

You didn't know?

Pairings: Alex Cabot x reader.

Summary: Y/n and Alex have been dating for a while, but no one in the squad knows about it. Right?

A/n: Another beautiful request but this time...Alex Cabot x reader. I gotta admit I have many of these, both for Casey and Alex, and let me tell you...it's comfort. So, if you have any more reader inserts, lemme know. Enjoy and leave your comments, reblog, hearts, whatever you'd like, will be very much appreciated🫶🏻

*not my gif*

If there was something about the SVU squad, was that they all had their backs, no matter what. Either they had some issues, they were attacked, they were at risk, whatever they needed, they were there for each other. But something that they didn’t find odd at all was that they really didn’t talk much about their personal lives. Of course, everyone knew Stabler’s kids and wife, they knew about Fin’s son, Much didn’t actually say much but Stabler knew he had a brother, and Olivia, they knew about her mother that had now passed away. Alexandra Cabot learned a thing about everyone every single day, from the day she joined, she learned to study them and get her own conclusions until proven wrong, that’s the way she got to know people. It was no surprise that Alex was a private person, people knew some things about her but nothing too personal, whatever she did after work, it was for her to know and for the rest to wonder. It was even uncommon to see her in normal clothes, always wearing some fancy brand suit with her perfect hair, so if she had a secret life outside work, no one would ever know.

That’s how, no one in the squad or even the DA’s office knew that Alexandra Cabot had a girlfriend. The Ice Queen had a girlfriend. It wasn’t like she wanted to keep it a secret, it was not, she was happy with her girlfriend, and she loved her. Hell, she was crazy about her, she’d do anything for her, she had fallen hard, and she was happier than ever. But she also knew that if she put it out there that she was dating someone, she would be at risk. They dealt with any type of people every day to the point where they didn’t know how dangerous they could be and what they could be capable of, so that’s why Alex decided to keep it between them. And her girlfriend, y/n, didn’t object. She knew the job, she was close to it since she worked as Melinda’s second in command, so basically, she knew the whole squad, she was seen at the precinct whenever Melinda was busy and asked her to go. So they knew her.

That’s how Alex and y/n met; Melinda was normally the one who took the results to the squad, sometimes directly to Alex whenever she requested a copy to prepare her questions, but they had been stuffed with work and Melinda had sent y/n to take a copy of some exams to Alex. Y/n knew who Alex Cabot was, of course she knew, she had seen her before, and she would’ve lied if she said she hadn’t felt butterflies in her stomach. She was beautiful, y/n was sure that wherever she went, everyone stopped and stared at her, how could they not? But this was the very first time that she was going directly to Alex, to say the least, she was very nervous, she knew she’d definitely make a fool out of herself.

Y/n knocked on her door and cleared her throat. “Ms. Cabot?”

Alex looked up and smiled. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Uh-“ Y/n showed her the folder and smiled a little. “Melinda asked me to bring you a copy of the results from the Turner case?”

“Oh! Yes. I thought she’d come. Come on in.” Alex smiled. “Close the door, please.” Y/n gulped as she closed the door, walking to Alex’s desk and handing her the papers. Alex looked up at her and grinned. “You can sit down, you know?”

Y/n chuckled. “Thanks.”

Alex squinted her eyes as she looked at her, raising her brow. “Can I offer you some water?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you.”

Alex nodded and started reading the results. “Seems like everything I need is here.” She looked back at y/n and smiled. “Thank you for bringing them to me.”

“Is there anything else you need me to bring?”

“Not for now. I think these results will be enough.” Alex smiled as she tilted her head. “You’ve been to the precinct, haven’t you?”

Y/n nodded, her heart skipping a beat. Alex has noticed her. “I have. I normally go whenever Melinda is busy, I’m…literally her second hand.” She chuckled.

“You must be good at your job then. I know Melinda can be a little strict.” Alex grinned.

Y/n chuckled softly. “She’s alright. She’s been like my mentor ever since I joined.”

Alex nodded. “Well, I won’t take more of your time. Thank you for bringing me these. I hope I get to see you again.” She grinned.

Y/n stared at her for a moment, feeling her legs trembling. “Would you…maybe…like to get a coffee some time? Maybe lunch?”

Alex tilted her head as she smiled. “I’d like that.” She grabbed a small card and wrote her personal phone number on the back. She looked up again and handed it to y/n. “Here. Call me when you’re off work and we can meet up somewhere.”

“I sure will.” Y/n smiled softly as she grabbed the card and looked at it for a moment and then back at Alex. “I’ll see you around then.” She stood up and walked to the door.

“See you around, y/n.” Alex smirked as she looked back down at her files.

Y/n stopped on her tracks and looked back at Alex. “You…you know my name.”

Alex looked back at y/n. “I might have asked Melinda about you.” She smiled.

And that’s where the relationship started. Y/n loved to remember how Alex used to play this flirtatious woman, almost hard to get. She would lie if she said she had never heard from people how Alex always rejected them when asked on dates, but y/n had acted out of impulse when asking and she got a yes, and Alex later confessed that she had been watching y/n from afar and she had been wanting to run into her to ask her out but never had the pleasure too. After a month or two of dating, Alex was deeply in love with y/n and the ‘hard to play’ persona was completely gone.

********************

“Melinda, I finished the paperwork from the Lopez case. Do you need anything else?” Y/n smiled softly as she stood beside Melinda.

“No, you’re free to go.” Melinda looked up at her and smiled. She raised her brow as she grinned. “Going somewhere in this fine Friday night?”

Y/n chuckled. “To my couch and my cozy blanket.”

“Oh, c’mon, y/l/n. You’re young, why don’t you go out and get yourself a date? I’m pretty sure you’d get anyone you want.” Melinda said as she went back to the computer.

Y/n smiled. “I don’t really want anyone. I’ve already got what I want.” She patted Melinda’s shoulder. “See you tomorrow.” She grabbed went to grab her stuff before she left.

The moment y/n started working with Melinda, she felt safe and comfortable, something she had been scared about because she first thought she would never be good enough for her job. But Melinda had received her with open arms and had taught her everything she knew so far, and y/n always told her she would forever be grateful. So whenever Melinda made comments like that, she wished so badly she could just tell her that she had everything she always wanted because she was dating Alex, but she knew that their relationship was private and for a good reason. They had been dating for the last 2 years, and the conversation about relationships had never actually showed up until this very moment, which made her realize that for all this time, no one had suspected anything. Maybe because they were not seen together often, or they were not in the same place ever.

Y/n closed the door behind her and placed her coat and bag on the rack beside the door. She made sure the door was locked and she walked to the big living room, finding Alex sitting on the couch with some files on her lap. She loved the times when she came back from work and she found Alex in the apartment already, it wasn’t common since Alex normally always worked until late at night in her office, or if she came back home, she was stuck in her office until early hours. Y/n smiled softly and leaned over the arm of the couch, kissing her cheek softly.

“I’m surprised you’re home.” Y/n whispered softly as she kissed the side of her head.

Alex giggled and threw her head back to look at y/n. “Thought I’d just finish my notes here.”

Y/n chuckled at the angle but leaned down to kiss her lips. “Good. So. Dinner? Do you fancy some chicken and pasta?”

“I’d like that.” Alex smiled. She then moved as y/n walked out of the living room. “Do you need some help?” She put all her files together and then followed y/n into the kitchen.

“You can just sit there and look all pretty as always.” Y/n tilted her head as she smiled.

Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “You’re afraid I’m going to burn down our kitchen?” She went ahead and got some glasses out for wine.

Y/n chuckled and wrapped her arms around Alex’s waist, kissing her shoulder. “I want to spoil you. If you wanna help, you can go ahead and put the pasta to boil while I prepare the chicken.”

Alex turned on her arms to look at y/n and smiled. “Okay, that sounds like a plan.” She pecked her lips softly and then went ahead to get the pasta.

“So…” y/n cleared her throat as she got all the things she needed from the fridge. “Melinda asked me why I wasn’t partying in this fine Friday night.” She walked to the kitchen island and placed all the things there, looking at Alex.

“And what did you say?” Alex turned to look at her with a curious look.

“That my couch and my cozy blanket were waiting for me.” Y/n smirked.

Alex laughed. “Am I the blanket?”

Y/n shrugged. “You could be.” She winked at her.

Alex shook her head as she walked to y/n and kissed her forehead. “We can always tell them, you know?”

“I’m okay with how we are.” Y/n looked at Alex and smiled. “We know the job we do, I know the risks you have with your job. And it’s a relationship for us and no one else. So…” she shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

Alex nodded as she smiled. “Then we just stay as we are.” She leaned in and kissed her lips softly. “You know I love you, right?”

“Mmm…no? I don’t know what you talking about.”

Alex wrapped her arms around her neck as she grinned, pulling y/n for a slow and passionate kiss, y/n’s hands going up to her back to pull her impossibly closer. She tried deepening the kiss, but Alex pulled away, smiling against her lips.

“Say that again?” Alex whispered.

“I love you too.” Y/n smiled as she pulled Alex for another kiss.

********************

“Life without parole.” Alex said as she walked into the room with the squad sitting at their respective desks, everyone looking at Alex.

“We knew you got this, Cabot.” Fin said as he offered a smile.

“Wait, so they didn’t buy the whole crap of being mentally ill?” Elliot grinned.

“His DNA was literally all over her and almost in every part of her apartment. There was no way they’d believe that he was mentally ill when he was fully conscious of what he had done. I defied him and he told me every little thing he did, and he looked proud of it. That was our win.” Alex grinned.

“And we gotta thank or M.E.’s for that.” Olivia said just as Melinda and y/n walked in, looking at everyone with confused looks.

“What happened?” Melinda looked at Alex confused.

“Life without parole. We got the bastard., and Olivia is right. I have to thank you both.” Alex grinned softly as she looked at y/n.

“You’re very much welcome. It wasn’t much. We just needed to test around 15 people to find a match.” Y/n shrugged as she joked.

“Ms. y/l/n complaining here because she was the one who tested them all.”

“Hey, I spent like 2 hrs there, It’s only fair that Ms. Cabot here thanks me.” Y/n smirked as she looked at Alex.

“As I said, thank you for your help.” Alex winked at her, turning to check that no one had noticed.

“Well, well. We also worked here, so, what do y’all say we go for some drinks? Melinda? Y/n? Alex, you promised you’d join us next time so it’s only fair you come with us tonight.” Fin got up and grabbed his coat, looking at the squad.

“I second, Fin. We all have to go.” Munch stood up too and grabbed his coat, putting it on.

Olivia looked at the girls and raised her brow. “C’mon, girls. A drink won’t hurt.”

Y/n looked at Alex who was already looking at her and they gave each other a small nod as if to confirm that they were okay with it. It wasn’t their first time joining the squad for drinks, they’ve done it a bunch of times before, but they always preferred to just go home and have their own little celebration in the comfort of their apartment, but tonight, they thought it was no harm to join them, they knew it would be fun and they could always leave after an hour or so. They all walked to the nearest bar that was not that crowded, and the rounds of drinks started. It was maybe the fact that they were laughing hard that they didn’t notice how many drinks they had so far, or maybe it was just them not minding the number of drinks they’d take that night, it could be anything at this point, but Alex definitely wasn’t counting her drinks.

After 2 hrs, y/n had ordered some water and coffee for them, wanting to sober up a bit -not that she didn’t like tipsy Alex, she actually thought she was really cute, and two or three more drinks and she turned into hot Alex, which…was her personal favorite-. She went ahead and picked up their drinks, putting them in front of Alex who looked at her with a confused face at first.

“So you sober up a bit.”

“Ah, c’mon, y/l/n!” Elliot laughed. “You’re no fun. Let Cabot loosen up a bit. Not like we’re drunk.”

“Yeah, y/n. It’s the first time in so long that Alex actually says yes to coming with us for drinks and you wanna stop her.” Melinda raised her brows as she looked at her.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully as she looked at them. “I’m just looking out for you, you know?” She then looked at Olivia. “Liv? Back me up here?”

“Oh, c’mon, baby. Another drink or two are not gonna hurt me. I’ll drink the coffee after another drink, promise.”

“That’s what you always say, Lex, and then you whine about having another.” Y/n raised her brow at her as she grinned. But then her grin vanished as she looked around them.

At the same time, it seemed like Alex sobered up enough to realize what they had just said, doing the same as Y/n. “Uh. Maybe I should take my coffee now.” She grabbed the cup and took a sip of it.

Olivia raised her brows as she smirked. “Baby? Lex?”

“Is there something you guys wanna share with the group?” Melinda smirked.

Munch furrowed his brows as he looked at everyone. “Wait, you guys really didn’t know that they were dating? They’ve been dating for the last 2 years. I thought you guys were detectives.”

Everyone turned to look at Munch with surprised looks, Alex and y/n’s jaws dropped as they stared at Munch. They were so sure they had been careful enough to keep it private, but it seemed like they had failed.

“How did you know?” Y/n finally said after like 2 minutes of silence.

Munch huffed a chuckle. “If you guys wanted to keep it private, you should’ve avoided standing in front of the precinct and kissing.”

Alex laughed as she shook her head. “Guess it’s out now.” She looked at y/n and shrugged. “Told you sooner or later they’d find out.”

“I mean, Munch is not wrong. You are all detectives and couldn’t figure it out?” Y/n shook her head. “You should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“You gotta be kidding me! I was about to get you a date and you’ve been dating Alex for 2 years! Thought we were sisters.” Melinda snapped as she laughed.

“In my defense, it was never brought up. And yes, you’re like my big sister, so I apologize. But now that you guys know, yes. Alex is crazy for me.” Y/n wrapped her arm around Alex as she grinned.

Alex laughed as she shook her head. “Oh, says the one that was a bundle of nervousness whenever I was around.”

Y/n chuckled as she leaned in and kissed her lips, not caring about the squad anymore. No, they were not really trying to hide it, they simply decided the relationship was theirs and theirs only, so there was no need to display it to anyone else, but now that they all knew, they were more than happy to share it with them. Even though they knew the teasing would never end.

#alex cabot #alexandra cabot #alex cabot x reader #svu #svu fic #law and order svu #also excuse me while I pass out but the gif?? ma'am

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danopdf · 8 months ago

Text

Ronald Speirs x Medic!Reader Headcanons

Notes: Welcome to my Ron X reader headcanons! It goes through everything from Toccoa - post war! Word Count: 13,768

this is based off the fictional character(s) portrayed by the actor(s) in the show band of brothers, with no disrespect toward the real life veterans.

Warnings: Usual Band of Brothers and war stuff, swearing, once you get to the smut part there's too many things to give warnings for (it's not nasty just super smutty and a lil' kinky) Enjoy :D <3

============

TOCCOA / NORMANDY

For the first bit you're at Toccoa you think that he HATES you because he’s constantly glaring at you the whole time from afar

It gets to a point where you start getting really nervous whenever you catch him staring, so none of the guys ever leave you completely alone just so they know you’re safe, and because, “we don’t know the guy, he could be crazy.” “Donny, we signed up to jump out of planes, we’re all crazy.”

He leaves anonymous gifts for you on your cot

Nothing fancy, just something like an extra pair of socks when you get to England, or one day after you’re being teased by Don, Muck, and Penkalla and they accidentally rip the binding of your book there’s a fresh brand new copy packaged neatly on your pillow

All of the boys of course go ‘OOOOOOOOoooOOOOOoo” every time something appears just to tease you

all through the second leg of training in England, he’s still staring at you but now it’s not just from across the training area, it’s also from across the pub, and the meeting rooms, and the mess hall

“If he keeps looking at me I’m gonna start yelling at him-”

“Maybe don’t do that while he’s at the range.”

everybody notices to the point of constantly teasing you about it

“y/n you may wanna ask Doc to check your back out from all of the knives Speirs is glaring into it-“

“MUCK-!”

You notice the stares are starting to happen less and less as it gets closer to D-Day

You honestly get kinda lonely without him hovering constantly, to the point where the rest of the guys start to notice you looking around for him

“Looking ‘round for your guardian angel y/n?”

“Toye I swear to god!”

The day that you were supposed to drop into Normandy comes and gets cancelled, and you’re too anxious to sleep and decide to slip out and go for a walk to clear your head

You’re wandering around the empty streets taking it all in because for all you know, this may be your last night on Earth and goddamn it if you can’t get hammered you’re gonna take a nice fucking walk

You’re 20 minutes into your walk along a few of the random streets and just enjoying a final night of calm, when you see a figure across the street from you smoking

It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust and notice who it is (it’s Ron obv), and once you do you just pause because for the first time, you’re looking at him before he’s looking at you

When he looks up from lighting his cigarette his eyes go wide and he takes a small step back because you’re looking at him, ‘oh god why are they looking at me like that-’

You just give him a small smile and raise your hand in a wave

He just stares back at you until you turn and walk away, still smiling but just thinking ‘Oh god why did I wave at him? You looked like an idiot in front of Speirs nice going-’

D-Day arrives and you’re sitting with the rest of Easy getting your final mail call before you jump and you’re just pacing waiting and mildly freaking out

By this point, you’ve gotten so much comfort from being able to look around and find Ron to ground you that before you drop your head is on a constant swivel trying to find his eyes in the crowds of soldiers

You finally find them and when he looks at you he can see just how scared you actually are, (as much as you try to hide it)

Ron decided to make his way over to you because ‘they’re scared, I should go comfort them- that’s what you do when you like someone right?’

He walks right up to the small group you’re standing next to and they go completely silent as he does, but he just walks right past them up to you and you’re terrified because he’s never been this close to you before you’ve only seen him from across a room

You both just stand there staring at each other for a moment before Ron says “I’ll see you down there. Good luck.”

You’re just standing there trying to process just how close he is to you finally, and are trying to take in all his features and the sound of his voice because, ‘If I'm going to die the final thing I want to see is a good looking man.’

One of the boys has to cough really loudly to get you to snap back to reality

“Oh-! Yes- Yes Sir, good luck to you too…I hope to see you down there…under different circumstances than I usually see people…” You try and joke, half gesturing to the white medic band across your right bicep

You’re laughing a little awkwardly because ‘God he is good looking up close’ and he’s not laughing because of course he’s not, but he does have the absolute smallest quirk of the corner of his mouth, indicating that he heard your joke at all

One of the boys from the group just leans to another and goes “God that was bad, he’s gonna shoot them the second we get down there-”

You’re all loading up into the planes, and you stop on the last ring of the ladder to take a final look at allied Europe and you catch Speirs getting into his plane across the tarmac

He turns his head and for the second time he makes eye contact with you, rather than the other way around. He just nods and climbs in, hoping that he sees you down there, alive.

Once D-Day hits and rumors start about him killing that group of POWs everyone is like ‘fuck that’ and stays clear of him even more than usual

You hear the rumours and get a little anxious about seeing him again because you don’t really know anything about him, just that he’s handsome and a bit of a badass

For a while you only see him out of the corner of your eye, while you’re either waiting with Easy or while rushing by him trying to stop a soldier from bleeding out on a stretcher

Then the day comes when you have your second conversation and you start to realise that he’s just another man trying to get through this, and that maybe he’s not so bad

it happens when Tab gets stabbed and (as one of the medics for Easy) Joe Liebgott calls for you to come help Tab

your second real “conversation” is you turning to Speirs and demanding his compress bandages to stop the bleeding from his 3 wounds

he’s not used to being given orders, he’s a CO for God's sake, but when you do it he listens like they’re coming straight from the president himself

he’s always just admired from afar (except for your single previous conversation at the airfield), but he’s listening to you like ‘yes ma’am/sir whatever you say’ he is WHIPPED

you grab his hand and press it onto one of the wounds to compress it and his mind just stops for a second, because your hand is so warm and soft and the way you’re talking to Tab telling him that he’s “gonna be okay, don’t you worry Tab, I gotcha’” makes him feel something new

you leave with Tab to take him to the med station behind the line and Ron feels his heart tug at the sight of you walking away from him, (even if it is to help someone)

you come back from the aid station that you brought Tab to about 2 days later, and in those two days Ron is constantly hovering around Easy, whenever he gets a chance to see if you’re back yet

Easy is just like side eyeing him every time he comes over thinking ‘oh god he’s gonna kill us, he’s stalking his prey’

but once you get back and he sees that you’re okay, (just covered in a little more blood from helping at the aid station) he can breathe again and goes back to Dog Company like nothing happened

After a few days of being behind the lines you start to receive a few gifts

Definitely not as many as before you dropped but one every week or so

One day you get handed a letter from a runner and it has nothing it but a simple watch with a leather strap, no note or anything, but it’s convenient because your watch got broken during your last trench raid and have been in need of a new one

he has to suppress a smile each time he catches you checking the watch

Speirs gets a pretty nasty cut on his hand during a raid and instead of being concerned he’s decided it’s his chance to have another conversation with you, so instead of going to his own company's medics he makes a beeline straight for you.

you’re standing with a group of Easy men and he just comes walking right up to you being all like “y/n.” “o-oh! yes Sir- " "need your help.” and then he just wanders away knowing you’ll follow him

the boys you’re standing with just give you a look like you’re a dead man walking. George legit says “it’s been an honour serving with you” like you’re about to die (and honestly you’re so nervous you may just as well)

walks into the makeshift aid station where Gene is working on the shrapnel in Winters leg and Ron just leans against a table and hold his hand out to you, the blood is steadily flowing out of the cut and your eyes go wide and you start to freak out because “Sir this is a serious cut you should have gone to someone sooner! Where's your company medic? They could have helped you faster than coming to me!”

he just stands there staring at you with this blank expression but his eyes are so soft when he looks at you fussing over his cut.

(Gene and Winters are off to the side just giving each other a look, ever the observant ones)

you tell him his hand needs stitches but only a few. He's not been listening to you for the past 20 minutes while you stop the bleeding and disinfect his cut, he’s just staring at you and the way you look in the dirty window light.

he only snaps back when the stitching needle first threads through his skin and he takes a sharp breath in because he’s so caught off guard

your head snaps up to him when he hisses and you look so sad that you’ve hurt him

“Sorry Sir, I didn’t mean t’ hurt you, but we gotta get this closed up.”

your hand that is holding his steady moves slightly so you can run your thumb along his palm to sooth him

his whole arm is tingling when you touch him so gently, completely forgetting about you stitching his gash up until you pull your hand back like “alright Sir, you’re good to go. be sure to keep it clean, and in about a week your company medic can take those out for you.”

Just grunts and nods a thanks to you as he walks out the door.

Gene laughs a little and you turn to him all “what? what's it?” “nothin’…” “what do you mean ‘nothing’!” “just funny is all…you’re good to go Sir.” Gene just drops the conversation after that and leaves you spiralling as to what he meant by ‘nothin’’

when you make your way back to the group you were hanging out with, Malarkey just starts yelling “they’re alive!!! you made it, you stayed into the jaws of death and lived to tell the tale!!!”

You all laugh and the guys continue to tease you and you’re just standing there sputtering out excuses and blushing. Ron is just watching from afar through a cloud of smoke and his mouth tilts up just the slightest

You don’t have many conversations with him, but you both try and subtly go out of you ways to be near each other

Even the men start to notice that whenever Speirs has a moment of freetime he’s lingering around Easy or the aid station

You tend to walk around together a lot, (he’s always waiting outside the aid station for you after a long shift), it’s either you both walking in silence or you talking while he smokes

Rarely does he ever talk on your walks and it’s even rarer that it’s about his life outside of the war

The one or two times he slips up and tell you something about himself you feel so warm and hold that so close to your heart that you start a small list of facts about him in your notebook

Nothing huge just small things like, “like peonies”, “got a really bad haircut when he was 10 that he still hasn’t emotionally recovered from”

Ron wants to know everything about you and loves to hear you talk

He also starts a list of facts about you (that you both compare much later in the war)

(After a long while of knowing each other the lists have certain things crossed off like, “favourite colour is green the blue of the lake in his hometown”, and “their favourite song is ‘everybody loves my baby’ ‘sweethearts holiday”)

one day a book you were just talking to Webster about appears at the top of your pack, and sure it’s a little beaten and battered but you like it nonetheless, and all the guys start losing their minds because “WE’RE IN A WAR ZONE AND HE'S FINDING TIME TO GO BOOK SHOPPING FOR YOU???”

At this point you realise that you actually start to like-like him

You spend so much time together that the boys start poking fun at you and the officers start making some subtle remarks at Speirs (looking at you nix and Harry)

Everyone gets taken off the line and has a break pass in Aldbourne and it’s there that Speirs decided that now is the time to make some sort of move on you

Ron is picking you up from a long shift at the aid station with Gene and you look practically dead on your feet as you walk out, your hair is a mess, there’s blood on your clothes and under your nails and you’re pretty sure there may be vomit on your boots but to him you look like an angel with the light from the aid station coming from behind you giving you a halo

You walk up to him and give him a tired smile, already used to the routine of him walking you back to where you’re being billeted in, when he just blurts out

“Will you go dancing with me?"

You freeze, staring into his eyes (which are full of fear, although you’d never tell anyone that) and break out into a huge grin

“yeah…yeah I’d love to go dancing with you.”

Ron lets out the biggest sigh of relief you’ve ever heard and you gently slip your hand into his as he starts to walk

You just have the biggest grin on your face as he drops you off at your door and says “so, I’ll pick you up tomorrow night?”, “I’ll be waiting.”

This man is at your door 10 minutes early just pacing trying to work up the nerve to knock on your door, and you’re just watching him pace giggling to yourself because this man will jump out of a plane and kill Germans and show no fear, but he gets scared picking someone up for a dance

He finally knocks 2 minutes before he said he would be there and you rush to the door, pulling it open and freezing

Because good god he is in his dress uniform, clean shaven, hair neatly done and he is beautiful

You both stand there looking each other up and down for a few moments, taking the other in, since you’ve never seen each other cleaned up in your dress uniforms before

“Hi-” “You look-”

He takes (steals) one of the jeeps from the base to take you out to a small dance hall that’s just far enough out of the way that none of the regular enlisted men can get to it without a vehicle (perks of being a scary officer), so it’s you, a very small handful of other officers and the locals

This boy can DANCE

I fully believe that he would dance with his sisters and mother and grandmother when he was younger (in the way that you force your youngers to play games with you when you’re kids)

He’s also strong (HIS ARMS IN HIS DRESS UNIFORM ARE MMMMM-) so he can swing and spin you around like nobody’ business

This boy is smiling and laughing like there’s not a single thing wrong in the world, because when you’re in his arms that’s how everything feels

You both drink quite a bit and get rather giggly

You spend that last half of your night tucked together at the back of the hall in a booth, nursing lukewarm beers with your legs thrown over his and just whispering and giggling with each other

He is running his fingers up and down your leg!!!! He’s not doing it as any form of proposition, he’s doing it because he genuinely loves to just touch you and finds so much comfort in it

You’re both just talking and telling each other about yourselves and what your lives are like/what you want them to be after the war is over, (“If I knew all it took to get to know you was a few drinks, I would have stolen Nix’ secret stash.”)

You’re just constantly leaning closer and closer to each other throughout the night, to the point that your lips are basically brushing every time you speak

At the end of the night he drops you off at your house (he spins and waltzes you up to your door. Yes he’s tipsy.), and you lean in and give him a kiss, just a quick peck before rushing out a “Good night, I had a wonderful time!” and running through the door

You peek out the window to see him leave but he’s just standing there for a second, in a slightly tipsy daze because, you just kissed him, and he’s pretty sure his heart stopped

The next morning you wake up with a mild hangover and memories of an incredible night

You somehow manage to pull yourself out of bed, strip off the last of your dress uniform from last night and get yourself down to the mess hall in your OD’s

The second you have your food and walk over to Easy the boys lose their minds and are cheering and giving you pats on the back

You’re so confused because “what’s all this for? The war end while I was asleep?”

“Heard you had a little date last night with a certain officer-?”

Your head snaps over to Gene because he was the only other one at the aid station when Ron asked you out

“GENE-!” who looks smug as fuck as you start throwing wadded up napkins at him

Ron is watching from the officers table, smirking at how flushed you become from all the teasing

Nixon just leans over and goes, “You chose a good one Sparky. Those boys might be scared of you, but if you break their heart, they’ll break your fucking neck.”

I don’t think that you put a label on what you are, at least not for a long while since you’re both so scared of losing the other and in war nothing is guaranteed

You both just know that if you need someone to talk to or just are in need of some comfort you go to each other

You start to seek each other out unconsciously, eyes immediately searching for each other in every room and in every group after every mission

If someone is looking for one of you they know to look for the other because you’re never far behind each other

There’s a joke going around within Easy that you can’t ‘sleep without your teddy bear’ because you can’t sleep very well without Speirs

Sleeping cuddled up with Speirs in a pile of hay, leaves you better rested than sleeping alone on a real bed

You never tell each other you love one another until you go on leave in Paris, up until then you just say, “Come back to me.” “I will. Promise."

And the second you get back from anywhere you make a b-line for each other and say, “You came back to me.” “I promised, didn’t I?”

(You tell him that you love him first though. He doesn’t even hesitate to say it back.)

I don’t think that y’all kiss a lot just because Speirs is a very reserved person with a reputation to keep up

He does love to drag you behind buildings, away from prying eyes to kiss you or make out with you (he LOVES to make out with you against a wall where you can both just keep pushing against each other- we’ll get to this later, this man makes me have many thoughts)

You and Ron are sitting at the back of the room, just holding hands and playing with each others fingers, half watching the movie when some officer comes bursting through the doors turning on all the lights, shutting off the movie and yelling about moving back out

Ron and you look at each other because, “I didn’t buy a scarf in Paris."

BASTOGNE

At first you two are excited because you can have secret foxhole rendezvous, within a week you’re both like, ‘I am freezing and emotionally distraught, do not touch me’

The only person who bring you any comfort when you can’t be near Ron is Gene, but nobody wants to lose both their medics in one blast so you’re either in a foxhole by yourself or a little bit off the front and sitting with Joe Liebgott and/or George Luz

Everytime Ron comes by the foxhole the guys are still scared of him so they tend to stay silent while the two of you talk or they just completely dip and leave the two of you alone

(they realise how little time the two of you get to spend together now that you’re both: a) on the front line again, and b)meant to be on full alert to watch for any stragglers trying to force their way through)

The guys are still weary that you’re with Ron (in what sorta way you’re together the guys still aren’t 100% sure still), but I think that seeing the way he treats you in Bastogne changes that

He’s constantly making rounds, and “mysteriously” ending up at your foxhole

(he blames it on how sparse the line is but everybody knows that’s a lie because that man knows where everything is at all times)

You both don’t talk a lot during Bastogne, finding more comfort in physical closeness and sharing what little warmth you both have with each other

You’re both freezing but somehow Ron never seems to shiver, like he can just will his body not to, whereas you’re just shaking like a leaf as he hold you

On Christmas you’re huddled in your foxhole with Joe and George, and Winters comes crunching through the snow towards you

Being the nicest man ever he just crouches down and tell you

“Go.”

“‘Scuse me Sir?”

“Go spend Christmas with Sparky.”

You’re out of the foxhole the second he says ‘Christmas’ with a quick “Thank you Sir-really thank you!” over your shoulder as you’re moving as fast as your frozen legs can carry you

Plopping into his foxhole with your blanket and he’s startled for a second before smiling at you and in just the absolute softest voice

“Hey sweetheart, Merry Christmas.” with the sweetest smile that warms you from the inside out

He got (stole) a gift for you. It’s a non-army-issued scarf that’s your favourite colour.

You gave him a photo of the two of you that you’ve been secretly holding onto since you got them developed

It’s a photo of the two of you getting ready to have the actual photo of the two of you in your dress uniforms taken, but it's just him looking down at you as you fix his tie

He won’t admit it but he tears up a little when he sees it, because you’ve been getting the shit bombed out of you every day, you’re freezing to death, you don’t have enough of anything and everybody is so tired, but this photo is so domestic and sweet, and it reminds him of when you were anywhere but here and he just loves you so much he can’t fucking stand it

New years eve comes around and you’re in your shared foxhole with Liebgott and about 2 minutes before midnight Ron comes to do “his rounds” and “make sure everybody’s dug in properly”

(at this point everybody knows that if Ron is seen around Easy he’ll say it’s to check on everybody, but they all know he just wants to see you and make sure you’re okay)

He kneels down next to you and Joe nudges you awake

You startle upright and when you realise nobody is hurt you look and see Ron next to where you were sleeping

“Ron!” you’re so sleepy but so excited to see him for the first time since Christmas day, that his heart just about bursts

Just just motions you to follow him which you happily do, he’s a few paces ahead of you and you job a little to catch up to him and slip your freezing fingers into his fingerless glove covered ones

He leads you a little ways away from the other foxholes and behind a few trees (not so far that you couldn’t reach one if you started getting bombed again but here they won’t hear whatever you both say)

“What’s up Ronnie?”

He just holds a finger up for you to wait, after about 20 seconds of silence he whispers

“3…2…1” and gently cradles your face and kisses you so sweetly that you can’t help but sigh into it

It honestly turns into a light makeout before you pull back from him

“Wha-...what was that for? Not that I’m complaining but-”

“Happy new year sweetheart.”

You just beam at him because you may not have remembered but he did (specifically so that he could have an excuse to celebrate and make out with you)

“Happy new year honey.”

The day to take Foy comes finally and you’re sent out onto the field with the boys

You and Gene are not too far away from each other just incase the other needs any assistance

Ron is having the words day of his life, because he’s just stood up on that hill watching the battle take place, and he can’t do anything to help you

You’re hiding behind that building with Lipton when you hear someone calling for a medic on the other side of the street

Ron just got the order to take over and he’s about to start running when he sees you go down

you stuck your head around the corner to get a better look at who was yelling and you get *ping!*’d by a bullet, right off the side of your helmet, throwing you back onto the snow

Ron takes of running through the field because ‘oh god they’ve been hit’ and he needs to get this situation under control because god knows Dike isn’t going to

he takes over for Dike and starts giving out orders before running to “talk to carwood” (check if you’re alive)

he sees you sitting up against the brick wall partially covered by Randleman’s arm comforting the best he can in this situation you as you shake -because, sure you may have been through various war zones in the past year and a bit, but everybody knows that you don’t kill medics- and he can finally breathe a sigh of relief as he realises you’re not hurt just extremely shaken at the close call

When Carwood tells him they need to link up with I company he doesn’t hesitate to start running again, you lean forward trying to grab at his jacket yelling for him to come back

he ignores you, knowing that if he looked back at your terrified face he wouldn’t be able to move forward

Carwood leans over to tell you that he’s made it to I company, but you’re just sitting there shaking because “oh god he’s gonna die, he’s gonna fucking die- Lip why would you tell him that? You know how he is!”

When Lip peaks his head back around the building he sees Ron running back to you and decided against telling you because he knows that’ll just make you worse

the second Ron makes it back to you, you're pounding against his chest with closed fists and yelling at him through tears that he’s “-an asshole! what the fuck were you thinking?! what if you got hit- i can’t fucking stand you!”

Ron isn’t hurt because he knew that was going to terrify you but he had to do it

He’s not even paying attention to you tbh, he’s talking to Lip because he needs to get you safe first, reunions are for after the battle is done

Once the battle is officially over you’re all sitting about, most of the men sitting on the tank in the centre of town, singing and being filmed by the camera men.

you’re standing partially off to the side next to George, practically ignoring Ron -who is lingering nearby talking to Winters- giving you glances every few seconds

He knows you have every right to be frustrated and angry with him because he put his life at risk multiple times without thinking of the consequences other than he ‘needs to end this gotta make sure you’re safe’, but that doesn’t mean that it hurts any less

suddenly a shot rings out from the attic of one of the destroyed houses and a bullet whizzes right by you, everybody scatters, George grabs you and pull you behind the building with Shifty

you’re completely frozen in George’s grip, terrified that you almost got shot again

And “Jesus Christ, don’t they know you’re not supposed to shoot medics, they’ve got a fucking armband for a reason” from George behind you who has an iron grip on your arms

waiting a few moments after Shifty took the shot people nervously start walking back onto the street, but Ron makes a beeline for where George is still gripping onto you (explaining that he “can’t lose another friend he just can’t”)

Ron just grabs you and pulls you into him, you tuck your head right between his shoulder and jaw, your cold nose against his neck causing him to shiver

he just holds you and you hold him

cut to: night in the church and you’re finally warm and able to shed some layers since you’re no longer freezing to death

Ron walks up to you, no jacket on just his sweater with the army-issued suspenders hanging around his waist (‘he looks like such husband material- now is not the time you’re supposed to be mad at him!!!’)

“Can I speak to you…in private…” he leads you through the church to one of the back rooms and closes the door so you can speak freely

You both just stand there staring at each other, both being too stubborn to apologise first

You’re just staring at him in the candlelight for a moment, taking in the way the light flickers off his features and his eyes and you just burst into tears, bringing your hands up to over your face

Ron is so startled it takes a moment for his brain to reboot and realise ‘holy shit they’re crying’ and scoop you into his arms

He rubs the back of your head and you just weep into his chest, crying out run-on sentences like “I’m sorry i was hitting you I was so mad at you- why the fuck would you do that-” as he tries to comfort you between your sobs, “I’m sorry-” “What if you had gotten hit, I couldn’t have gotten to you, I would have just had to watch-” “I’m so sorry” “I don’t hate you I promise, I’m sorry I was so mad-”

Ron just stands there rubbing over your head and back, rocking you in his arms as he lets you cry about everything that’s happened

Once you settle down a little bit so now you’re just hiccupping and the last few tears falling down your cheeks Ron just whispers into the crown of your head “I thought I lost you…”

You pull back a little and tilt your head up to look at him “...what do you mean? Just because you scared the shit outta me doesn’t mean I’m gonna leav-”

“No when you- I saw you get hi-” He closes his eyes to try and calm himself, just imagining what had happened to you and what he thought happened to you brings him to tears, “I saw you fall and lay there and I thought I just watched the love of my life die in front of me-”

“Ron-Ron please look at me…” He has to will his eyes open, ‘I’m here, I’m okay I promise. A little scared, a little dinged up, but I’m safe, and you’re safe- and we’re okay.” you both just lean back into each other and hold each other for a few minutes, both trying to calm yourselves and reassuring each other that you’re okay

Gentle “I thought I lost you” kisses !!!!!!

About an hour after, you and Speirs disappear you come back out to the main room, the choir is still singing and a few of the boys look over, ready to poke fun at you and lighten the mood, but the second they see your face they back out because, you may not let on but you’re just as affected by everything as everyone else is, and you watching the man you’re in love with risk his life was finally your breaking point

You fall asleep in that church cuddled up on one of the pews towards one of the side windows, Ron sitting sideways on the pew with his legs laid out, you’re laying cuddled into him with your back against his chest and holding his arms wrapped around you

You both just whispering to each other how much you love one another between sleepy kisses as you fall asleep

HAGENEAU

Hageneau isn’t much better emotionally, everybody is still cold and miserable, and people keep dying even though you’re covered by houses and roofs

The only saving grace is the single warm shower with no soap, the clean uniform and the uncomfortable squeaky mattresses

Speaking of the showers, the officers get their own shower area away from the other men, that are broken into small cubicles for a bit more privacy

Ron sneaks you into the officers shower so you can have some time for just yourself, instead though you ask Ron to stay with you

He's hesitant because you never get any time to just be alone, constantly surrounded by other soldiers or on occasion being shuttled to the aid station as an extra set of hands

But he takes one look at you, covered in blood and dirt, barely able to keep your eyes open, cold and so so upset, and he folds like a lawn chair, nodding and following you to one of the stalls

When you shower together this time nothing about it is sexual, it’s the complete opposite of your time in Paris, nobody is laughing and making soapy mohawks or having really good shower sex. You’re just standing near each other, sometimes not even touching, just enjoying the warm water and the feeling of weeks of dirt and blood running down the drain

You both stand there a few times, looking at each other and the others body, taking in all the changes that your body has gone through since before Bastogne

You spend some time just running your hands over the others' new scars, some are fresher and some have faded with time. There’s a few scars that were fresh when you were on leave and when you both run your fingers over them for a moment you can imagine you’re back there safe and haven’t yet gone through the hell-on-earth that is that forest

Then the ground rattles with artillery and you decide that’s enough time wishing you were somewhere else.

Ron claims a room in the least destroyed house he can find and is like “I found a room for us :)” and something about the way he says “us” makes you feel warmer than the sun and it lifts your mood so much for such a little thing

The night of the prisoner snatch is stressful and you’re not even going across the river

You’re sat on the edge of the allies bank right where the boats will land, just incase anybody is hurt

You spend the entire time after they launched crouched against the cold dirt hoping that your friends make it out okay

Of course nothing goes right and it’s practically a fist fight as the boat sails across the water

You’re right there the second they land and jump into action

The boys carry Eugene Jackson towards the basement where the rest of the men had been waiting, struggling as he writhed and cried from the pain, limbs flying out every which way, and eventually smacking you right in the face

Your eyes water as Eugene's fist collides with your cheek, sending you stumbling back into the wall

There’s yelling and chaos and you holler for someone to “go grab Doc Roe!”

By the time Gene gets to you your fresh uniform has blood smeared on it from trying to cradle Eugene's face to keep him still and your hands are wet with the red liquid

Gene gestures for you to move and allow him to take over which you do willingly, now turning to Babe to try and distract him from the horrible screaming and crying Eugene is letting out

Ron is sitting up on the bed in the he had commandeered for you both when you come shuffling into the room blood soaking your hands and smeared on your fresh uniform

He doesn’t look up from the files he was given, just greeting you with a, “Hey sweetheart, how’d it go?”

You don’t respond, just walking silently into the bathroom attached to the room turning on the tap and scrubbing the blood off your hands

“Baby?”

You’re just scrubbing, and scrubbing and scrubbing and it just ‘won’t come off’ and ‘jesus christ why won’t it come off?’

You’re not even scrubbing anymore you’re just scratching at your hands, your wrists, your arms, and you just want it off “off, off, get it off”

And suddenly rough hands gently grab your wrists and there's a voice speaking to you and telling you that, “it’s okay, we’ll get it off, we’ll get it off…take a deep breath and we’ll get it off”

You’re not even crying you’ve just gone numb and have a thousand yard stare over Ron’ shoulder as he gently washes your hands in his own, he’s watching the red water turn to pink and finally to clear

Ron takes his time, making sure to clean every finger and under every nail until your hands are the cleanest they’ve been since before Bastogne

Ron turns off the tap and just looks at you with the saddest eyes, you don’t even realise he’s finished until he asks you “are you okay?” he knows the answer but knows that’s the only way to get you to tell him what happened

“Eugene died…” his eyes go wide, “Jackson- Eugene Jackson…” his face goes slightly more lax, realising that your fellow medic hadn’t been killed “he was twenty-three…he kept crying he was in so much pain, his face- he was-”

Ron is watching you concerned and gets scared as you just stop talking, like someone suddenly turned off a radio

“You don’t have to talk y/n…can I- can I touch you?” He’s never seen you this small before, you’re like a wounded animal, your eyes are dead and looking straight through him

Not even looking at him you just nod silently. Ron nods back and scoops you into his arms, carrying you back into the main room, gently placing you on the bed

You’re both silent as he unlaces and takes off your boots, and then your dirty jacket and (he asks of course), your pants and shirt too

he’s already making a plan to get you a new uniform before you wake up

he grabs his sweater he was wearing that night in the church and pulls it over you, it covers you well enough since it’s a size too big

You’re sitting on the edge of the bed and Ron gets up for a moment and walks over to his pack and takes out a small bottle and a rag, he tips just a few drops of the liquid onto it and comes back to you, so softly just brushing it over your hands to get rid of the smell of copper blood

Once he’s done you raise your hands to your nose and it just smells like Ron

It takes you a moment because you haven’t smelled it since Paris but it’s the cologne he bought while you were both there, and it just takes you back to the time you spent together, when everything was okay and it felt like you weren’t two soldiers on leave but just two people in love spending time together

you realise that he wiped just enough of the cologne on your hands that you can’t smell the copper anymore and you can just smell him

you just lay down and curl up on the bed as Speirs gets his outer layers and boots off before climbing in behind you and pulling into him, your back to his chest

he just holds you the whole night, letting you cry, or mumble about how “none of this is fair”, and he talks about what you’re going to do together after all this is over, talking to you sleep

“I’ll get you a house with a big old porch that wraps around the entire house. We can drink tea and watch the sun go down.”

(had to throw in a Notebook quote for emotional damage)

GERMANY

When news comes that you’ll be moving in to occupy Germany you can’t tell whether to be excited or terrified because taking Germany means the end of the war, but it also means a final stand on the Germans part

Now that Ron is Easy’ CO that means that you can travel in the same vehicle

So you’re both sitting in the backbed of a truck with some other Easy men when you see something bright flash over your hand

You hold up your hand and see it flash again

Looking over your shoulder you see from behind the thick layer of trees, the sun is shining for the first time in nearly 2 months

You shoot up from your seat, turning to look out the side of the uncovered truck and Ron shoots out to grab your waist to stop you from tumbling over

“Woah-! What are you doing- What is it?”

“The sun!”

He looks up at you like you’re crazy

“The sun is out! And it’s warm!”

You guys break through the trees and the sun just lights you up, and for the time in months the sun is out, and its yellow and it’s warming you from the outside in

Ron is just holding you by the waist and looking up at you like you’re crazy but suddenly the yellow light from the sun is shining on your face, and the wind is blowing through your hair and you are beaming looking at the sun shining overhead

You get so excited at the warmth you’re finally getting and start to stip off your scarf, fingerless gloves, hat and thicker jacket

Joe playfully wolf whistles and the sound of it snaps Ron out of the trance you had unknowingly put him in with a, “Shut it Liebgott!”

Compared to the last town you stayed in Landsberg seems like a dream

Warm homes, real beds, actual fresh food and warm weather

But then you find the camp

And everything seems just hopeless

You all had known the Germans were bad, there’s a reason you’re fighting a war against them

But none of you had really realised just how bad it really was

As you walk through the open gates people are gently grasping at your jacket, your hair, your hands

Looking for some sort of comfort and thanking you

You try and comfort them back, saying words of relief in the broken German Joe had been teaching you back in the foxhole in Bastogne

As a medic you and Gene are asked to stay behind to give any attention to anyone you possibly can

Ron has to go back to the battalion HQ to give his report of what they found, and leaving you here, watching you take care of the people who have been through such horrible acts as they close the gates behind him, Nixon, Winters and Welsch, locking you in there is the hardest thing he’s ever had to do

You don’t come home until late that night, reeking of death and alcohol

You and Ron don’t say anything to each other, you just sit on a couch in the house the officers were sharing, and you pull out the random bottle Lewis gave you and just pass it back and forth in silence the whole night, knowing that you had to get up and go back there again in the morning

Leaving the people in the camp behind was one of the hardest things you’ve ever had to do, forming a relationship of trust with the people in there and suddenly having to up and leave them after a week because of some higher-ups orders was one of the most frustrating experiences you’ve ever had

But when Ron told you you’re leaving to Berchtesgaden it felt like the beginning of the end

The drive up through the mountains is one of the most beautiful views you’ve ever seen

“It’s beautiful here. We should come back again one day.”

“You mean like when we’re not getting shot at?”

“Of course I mean when we’re not getting shot at Ron.”

Walking through the small town of completely abandoned high ranking Nazi homes was so eerie and had everyone on guard, until the entire place was swept and cleared the men started drinking like the war was over

(which at this point is basically was)

Ron is looting like it’s his job. He comes back to the room in the house the officers taken over with armfulls of expensive items everytime he comes back from somewhere

You spend most of your time hanging out with the other men of Easy, exploring the area, swimming and looting as well

You and Ron spend one night together where you’re just laying in the large bed in the officers house, with all the windows open and are just talking about what’s going to happen next

“War in Europe’s is over…do you have enough points to go home?”

“No…even if I did you’re not going to the Pacific without me Sparky.”

It’s a difficult conversation to have because you’ve both just barely made it through the war in Europe together and now you’re going to be shipped off to the Pacific where everything is 10x worse, which means it’s 10x more likely that one of you isn’t making it out of there alive

Ron is in his dress uniform watching you play baseball with everyone, just taking in the moment

The second that Dick says that the war is over your eyes snap to each other and you run and jump into his arms

He lifts you up and gives you the biggest kiss, (which has the boys cheering even louder)

You both get HAMMERED that night with everyone (except for Dick who is present but is not drinking lol)

There’s a chugging competition between everyone, (Lewis is a man who sips his drinks so he does not do well, I think that Bill wins, then Joe Toye and Ron is maybe 3d)

By the time 2 am rolls around everyone is blissfully drunk, and you and Ron have migrated out to the balcony and are just slow dancing together silently

since the war has been officially declared over you spend the rest of your time in Germany relaxing, swimming and just having fun and being kids with everyone basically, until you’re given a way to get back to the states

POST WAR

You go back to your families for about 2 months before you realise that you can’t live without each other and yall buy a house

it’s a fixer upper in a nice neighbourhood and it becomes your own project

you buy a camera to document the process of you renovating the house until it becomes your dream home

it takes about 8 months for it to be finished, and after Ron claims the garden as his fixer upper project and he makes it beautiful

I don’t Ron actually proposes I think he just looks up at you one day, the sun shining through the living room window, the radio playing quietly and you just look so ethereal and content, it reminds him of when he asked you to go dancing with him that he just can't help but say

“Will you marry me?”

You’re already smiling before you even look at him, taking your time to put your bookmark in before looking at him with a smile to rival the sun and just say

“Yes. I think I will.”

You guys are married within a year of him asking

I think you would have a small wedding, right in that perfect time where spring turns to summer and it’s not too hot but everything in Ron’s beautiful garden is blooming

You have the ceremony outside of a historical home under a huge willow tree

It’s just you both, your immediate families and Easy, everyone is dressed in their dress uniforms and I think Ron would be too (unless you asked him to wear a proper suit in which case he absolutely would)

Lipton is Ron’s best man, with Lewis being a part of his groomsmen

Dick walks you down the aisle (he is crying the whole way) and hands you off to Ron

The reception is in the backyard of the home, there's a beautiful ceremony setup (i'm legit picturing Bilbo baggins 111th birthday party energy)

The list of people had to be approved before the wedding because everybody wanted to make a speech

The list goes: You and Ron, one of each of your parents, Dick, Eugene, Lewis, Malarkey

You and Ron have a perfect first dance and the second it’s over you’re being spun around the floor by every soldier in Easy, all saying things like “you never danced with us at any of the pubs so we’re making up for lost time!”

He love to garden after the war

The officers come over about every 2 months to catch up and have dinner, and every single time one of them gets roped into hearing about how “I asked for white hydrangeas and do you know what Glenda at the store gave me? Pink hyacinth! Can you believe her? Everybody knows that you can’t put pink hyacinth next to pink peonies, they’d clash!”

“Dick, I’d go save your husband over there before he buries mine in his precious garden.”

I don’t think you have/adopt kids right away, instead you adopt a dog from a shelter that you treat like your kid

I do think Ron would like to be a dad one day though

post war i think he either just had a calm day job like down at a shop or something or he becomes a teacher (elementary school maybe like grade 6? and all the kids love him)

i don’t think he talks a lot about the war once its over, only the happy parts at least

how he sleeps head cannons:

he likes cuddling you in any way possible but he prefers either your back to his front or his head on your chest with his body half sprawled on top of yours

DEATH GRIP ON YOU, you have to pry his arms off you if you need to get up in the night

but he does get nightmares a lot, not ones where he’s kicking and screaming, but he starts to shift and mumble

you usually wake him up by just holding him and quietly talking to him to wake him

he wakes with a start and a jolt and his breathing is rapid and uneven and it takes him a few minutes to remember he’s home and he’s safe

you both just lay there and he silently cries for a few minutes and you comfort him

i think after a night like that he’s up for the rest of the night, he just putters around or sits up and thinks, he always tells you to go back to bed though

you always stay up with him, saying that “I was awake anyways, couldn’t sleep.” through big yawns laying against his side on the couch or big window seat

there was one night a few months after the war ended and everything was still a little too fresh, and Ron is mumbling and shifting

you wake up because he starts to throw his arms around

you lean over to try and wake him up because he’s getting louder and starting to kick his legs

Then his arms start to flail

you ‘re getting scared because he just won’t wake up so you grab him by his shoulders and shake him, begging for him to open his eyes

His eyes shoot open as he’s frantic and lost and you realise that he's not here with you

His hands come up and he grabs your arms so tight you’re pretty sure they’ll bruise and he shoves you off of him, you go tumbling off the bed onto the floor, smacking your head

You lay there dazed for a moment dazed, your head aching

Ron has pushed himself up against the headboard, trying to calm his breathing and come back down from whatever memory he had been trapped in

You both just sit/lie still for a minute, the only sound being your heavy breathing, until Ron whispers

“Y/n?”

And god he just sounds so small, and broken and scared

You haven’t heard him this scared since Bastogne when he thought you died, and it scares you just how defeated he sounds

You push yourself off the floor and crawl on the bed, flicking on the small bedside lamp and illuminating the room just enough that you can see just how messy he looks

His eyes are wet and his hair is a mess, his chest is heaving with shuddering breaths

You don’t touch him, just reach your hand out and place it between you two, giving him the option to take it or not

“Yeah Ron, I’m here…don’t worry, I’m here, you’re safe in our home.”

He gently reaches out and tangles your fingers together, slowly shifting closer to you, seeking some comfort but not wanting to touch you, his body still on high alert from his dream

“Wh-what were you doing on the floor? Did- did I-”

“Ron no-”

“Oh god- I’m so sorry I- I didn’t mean to- you know I would never-” He starts to cry. No not cry, he starts to heave and sob, appalled that he could hurt you in any way

He pushes himself back from you and curls up against the headboard

You crawl right up next to him and wrap him in your arms, running a hand through his hair and up and down his back as you whisper to him

“I know Ron- I know baby. You would never hurt me. You didn’t know, you weren’t here with me, you were somewhere else.”

It never happens again this badly, but there are still nights where the one of you has to hold the other when they wake up scared, confused and just lost

The first Easy Company reunion comes around and when you show up everybody is like “Who is this man and what have you done with Captain Speirs?” because this man is giving you regular kisses and ones on the cheek, he’s holding your hand and has his palm on the small of your back, you’re holding hands and basically just being a normal couple, but the boys cannot function because “Where is our scary Captain Speirs, and what did you do with him??”

Is that a SMILE???? The boys have no idea how you’ve done this but you have somehow caused their rough and tumble CO to become so soft and loving they can barely look at the two of you

At one point everyone is dancing and he pulls you out onto the floor and I fully believe that Malarkey passes out because he’s so shocked

this boy can DANCE i’m telling you. he love to slow dance with you

He is pulling out all the moves because he's finally around his friends in a space where they’re not getting shot at constantly and he can finally let go and be himself

The boys are all whooping and hollering because you both look so carefree and in love and they’re so happy for you

when you finally have time to relax you both spend a lot of time reading with your legs thrown over his lap and his hand is just gently rubbing your calf and ankle, it’s a great reminder that you’re both here together and everything is calm and safe now

Only after the war does he actually loosen up in public, and oh boy you better be ready because the second he starts showing how much he loves you in public he refuses to stop

I’m talking: hand holding every second you’re outside because “I don’t want you to get lost…and your hands are soft”, kisses for everything whether it’s kisses as payment for getting something off a shelf for you or kisses just because you look so good that he just can’t help himself

shows you off at every chance he gets: he goes down to the shop (he’s befriended every old lady who works the register) and when he’s at checkout the lady goes “and who’ve you got with you today Ronald?” and he’s so excited and is all like, “this is y/n, my partner!”

This man reads poetry!!!! And he loves to recite it to you while you’re both cooking, or laying in bed late at night while you play with his fingers, and he loves to read it to you while you’re sitting in your backyard with his head in your lap and your fingers combing through his hair gently

looks at you with his warm gaze so full of love, almost always when you turn to look at him and see him just watching you with his warm brown eyes and you just get so shy and flustered you have to look away (he loves when you get like that he thinks it’s so fucking cute)

EXTRAS

flirts with you all the time!!! (even after you’re married. he just loves to make you swoon)

one may think that Ron would get in to fights when someone disrespects you but you alway tell him “they’re not worth it Ron don’t bother honey.”

but YOU on the other hand, if someone says something about Ron you jump their ass

that actually happened back when everyone was at some small pub one night and you’re walking back to the table with all the boys at it and some guy tries to harass you so Ron steps in with one of those ‘You better back the fuck off my partner’ looks and you start back to your seat when the guy pipes up about Ron and you just swing around and DECK him. All that time training came in handy as you started to beat his ass. All the boys are cheering you on (Bill will say that he’s never been prouder of you, and both Joes and Tab were cheering like they had money on you)

it takes Ron, Winters and a tipsy Nixon to pull you off the poor guy before you kill him

Ron pulls you out of the bar to cool of but you just keep your hands locked and keep walking until you get back to your room and have some fantastic rage induced sex (not mad at each other, just riled up and showing one another how much you love and care for each other)

has a really deep morning voice

and the best bed head, like he makes it look so good and like such boyfriend/husband materal

loves to stare at you when you get happy/excited, it makes him happy!

the second he realises that he can loot he anonymously leaves you gifts that he thinks you’d enjoy

it starts off simple with items like candies and treats

then it becomes more thoughtful like a nice chain or a simple ring band that won’t get in the way of your work as a medic

he absolutely loves seeing you wear or read the gifts he’s left for you, it’s like he’s there protecting you and claiming you as his but from afar, when you play with the ring on your finger when your nervous out bored during briefings it makes him so happy

is a surprisingly good singer?? doesn’t do it very often and NEVER around people (epically the men) but when it’s just you two with a moment alone he loves to sing to you while swaying gently with one hand on your waist and one holding yours

Loves to sing ‘I’ll be seeing you’ by Billie Holiday

everytime he comes back from looting a house he goes “give me your hand.” and pulls out a handful of different sizes, cuts and colours of rings, gently placing each one on your finger, noting each time you say that you like an aspect of it

“I like the cut of the stone in this one, I'm just not sure of the colour though.”

Ron: *quickly grabs his notebook and scribbles something down in it before pocketing the ring*

LOVES when you play with his dog tags (especially when you are laying together post-sex), and loves the way your dog tags look when you’re bouncing on him, and they’re jingling and catching the light perfectly

i think his love languages are;

giving: gift giving and acts of service, quality time

receiving: quality time, words of affirmation and physical touch

speaking of physical touch:

he is NOT big on PDA, he prefers to keep any intimate moments like kissing just between the two of you (or occasionally quick pecks around the other officers, that causes you to blush so much he has to give you a second one. Even Dick jokes at him, “Jesus Sparky, please keep it in your pants-” “Dick I swear to God-!”)

but when you are in public is more like a gentle hand on the small of your back, brushing hair out of his face and letting your fingers linger there for a little longer than necessary, linking your pinkies together when you’re standing close enough

he also LOVES when you grab the back of his jacket/shirt or his belt loop to not get lost in a crowd, it makes him feel like you trust him

when y’all are in PRIVATE he LOVES making out

slow and gentle, just you and him, rubbing your hands along his stubble, pulling back for a moment to giggle and tell him how ticklish it is, (he promises to shave it, you tell him your like to feel it somewhere else before he does)

loves making out with you ANYWHERE but especially his office, like pushing you up onto his desk where his body fits perfectly between your legs, he can trap you between his arms and hold your hands down onto the wooden desk, loves the sense of privacy it gives you both

more than once you’ve been interrupted and you’ve had to fake bringing him some papers he needed

“Speirs- Sergeant L/N! Sorry for interrupting, I didn’t realise you had a… guest.”

“It’s alright Sir, they were just dropping off some paperwork.” Winters is SO EMBARRASSED, but not nearly as much as you are when Nixon points out

“You might wanna fix your hair before you go anywhere else Sergeant.” with a shit eating grin on his face.

your face goes red before you look at Ron guilty, he just smirks back at you causing you to blush an even deeper shade of red.

carries around pictures of you in his OD jacket pocket!!!!! they’re in a tin so they don’t get ruined, he loves to just flip through them and stare when you are a part from each other

there’s a few photos of the two of you when you finally had weekend passes and you went to Paris. There's one of you and him both in your uniforms standing together, his arms wrapped around you as you're mid laugh and he’s looking down at you with eyes like you hung the moon.

You’ve got one really good one you put on your bedside table when you get back, it’s Ron in regular clothes smiling directly into the camera blowing smoke out of his mouth, it’s very domestic and handsome. The first time he sees it he’s all “oh come on you wanna keep that one? It’s so bad-" "I think you look beautiful and handsome, like a leading man.” He sees how you stare at that photo and decides ‘maybe it’s not so bad after all’

Another is of you both in regular civilian clothes, it’s a strip of photo booth pictures, that get progressively more steamy. The first one is just you two looking at each other, you’re sitting on his lap and cradling his face. the second one is you both kissing, it’s sweet (and later he puts that one in his wallet when you get home). Third photo is, you both, still kissing but now your hands are gripping his shirt and his hands are all in your hair (that way that Tab runs his hands through that girl's hair in Holland, you know the gif). the final one in the strip is of him staining at you with loving eyes, having just pulled back from a kiss- hands still in your hair- but you’re staring directly into the camera with this look on your face that he loves seeing, you’re rapidly unbuttoning your shirt

nsfw:

in that tin of photos there are more than a few risqué and sexual ones. You rented a camera to take photos while in Paris and when you finally get the developed images sent to you at the front you and Ron open them and the first photo is of you just sitting against the headboard of the hotel room bed, hugging a pillow against your naked body with the sheets bunched up around your feet, your hair is a controlled beautiful mess and you’re staring directly into the camera with half lidded eyes, (obviously just having settled down enough the push yourself upright). Ron’s breath hitches and he grabs it, immediately placing it in the tin with other photos of you both.

photos of you both mid sex

you have one that you took while riding him, he’s laying down with his head thrown back and his mouth partially open and his eyes are closed and he just looks wrecked. you pocket that one just as quickly as he pocketed yours.

he has one of you doing it in front of a mirror, he’s behind you taking the photos and your head is thrown back and your back is arched. the photo is slightly blurred because of the movement while he was taking it but he love it

the first time you had sex together was when you were back in civilization for a US Open show and we’re billeted on the same block.

he is so gentle that first time and whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he slides into you.

“oh fuuuuuck, god-“ he hisses through his teeth to keep himself quiet

says that he’s quiet in bed but occasionally after a long day (or if he’s drunk) will groan and moan, taking deep breaths so loud like a virgin trying not to cum to quickly

Aims to please!!!!!! love going down on you especially when he either needs to let go for a while (lets you ride his face), or if he gets jealous and wants to make sure you know that he’s the only one who can make you feel like that.

if you have a vagina he pushes your legs up by the backs of your thighs so you’re completely exposed and fucking goes at it, not stopping until you either; start crying, cum so many times you lose count, squirt or safe-word him. will push your hands away when

you try to grab his hair to either push him away or bring him closer.

if you have a penis he loves sitting you down on a chair or the edge of a bed and holding you down by your thighs so you can’t buck up into his mouth. gets you there then holds tight at your base so you cant cum/pulls back at the last second to ruin it. will dig his short nails into your thighs when you won’t stop moving.

pull his hair please

would never say it but loves when you call him by his rank

you accidentally said it one time when you were on leave and you didn’t come out of the room all day. you had a reservation for dinner at 5 and when that time rolled around you were letting in the bed shaking, coming down from the best orgasm of your life. you tried to get up and have a shower but ended up going twice more around the room and twice in the shower, every time finishing with a cry of “Lieutenant Speirs!”, they got him to just go harder. you showed up for your 5pm reservation at 8:30, still shaking slightly. Ron was a smug s.o.b through all of dinner.

fucked👏🏻you👏🏻on👏🏻his👏🏻desk👏🏻

had his hand covering your mouth to keep you from screaming so loud everyone could hear you

at one point someone comes and knocks on his door, he slows but doesn’t stop rocking into you as he speaks to them through the door, his hand covering your mouth and you stare at him with wide eyes, as he’s speaking to the poor person on the other side of the door he kisses and nips and sucks at your neck, basically he’s torturing you and expects you to make zero noise

you let out a single squeak and he freezes, glaring at you, you start shaking your head trying to apologize but his hand is still over your mouth

“i’ll come back later sir…”

the SECOND that poor guy is gone Ron tightens his hand on your mouth and goes crazy, rubbing you with his one hand, while moving in and out and fucking whispering into your ear practically degrading you for making so much noise while he’s fucking you and someone is on the other side of the door (this man makes me have many thoughts)

he loves to look up at you while going down on you, the same as earlier, he’s looking up at you like you hung the moon and the stars and you can barely look at him because the look in his eyes is just too much for your brain to process through all the stimulation

when he’s jealous or you’re both being rougher he loves to make you look him in his eyes, staring at him as he makes you feel so good and his eyes flutter closed because he’s getting just as much if not more pleasure from this than you are

will finger you under any table, does not matter who is sitting with you

(possibly more than) once Ron has been fingering you under the table and Lewis and Dick know exactly what’s going on and one of them has to fake feeling sick because they know if they don’t leave now yall are gonna end up fucking on the table and they don’t want to see that

once you two are married he LOVES and i means LOVES to finger you and lick your cum off of his ring finger with the wedding band still on it, it’s so possessive and makes him so turned on

you’re the only person who can top him

loves when you take control, especially when you ride him and pull his hair, grab him by the face to make him look at you and are overall rough with him (also loved when you make him cum before you and you just sit with him twitching inside you while he comes down until he can go again because i “I didn’t finish, what did i say was going to happen if you came before I got to?”

lazy, beautiful morning sex in with a warm breeze coming through the windows

defo has fucked you in the back garden; both on the grass (you were bent over on the ground gardening and he just couldn’t help himself because “you know how i feel when you wear those bottoms-“), and him sitting on the wicker seating set with the comfortable cushions you have in the back with you lazily riding him, not really thrusting and jumping as much as just lazily rolling your hips together

loves clothed sex; both of you being clothed (hiumping each other over pants or him pulling your dress/skirt up to push against your underwear), or only one of you being clothed (he loves the way it looks when he’s jumping against your covered ass and you love the way the front of his pants look when you get them wet by rocking against him)

not necessarily risky when it comes to sex but has a bit of a kink for almost getting caught, (would never want you two to get actually caught since he’s “the only one allowed to see you like this”)

you guys have fucked in ever room in your house, just to run through a couple places:

living room: couch, every chair, floor (rug)

kitchen: kitchen table, counter (both over and on top of it), dining room table

bedroom: bed, chair, over the and on top of the dresser, against the door, against ye window (faces the backyard)

bathrooms: bathtub, shower, lid closed (ya nasty) sitting on the toilet, against the door, tiled floor and the bath mat

office: desk (over it, on top of it, on the edge of it, eating you out/sucking him off leaning against the table/sitting on the edge of the chair), sitting on his lap in the chair, against the bookshelf, window nook, the arm chair

garage: in the car, on the hood of the car, against the door during parties, against the wall (the concrete causing you to arch your back from the cold rough texture)

closets (upstairs ones while guests are over and asking “where tf are our hosts?”

okay that’s my short list of places lmaooo

idc what parts you have Ron has a breeding kink

you guys love to cockwarm while reading it while one of you is doing work

likes to kiss you while you’re having sex but when you’re in control prefers when you bite and nip at him

has a slight choking kink

within the first 2 times you guys have sex he knows a) exactly what to do to get you going and b) where the most sensitive parts of your body are and WILL use that against you every chance he gets

this man whines when he gets too sensitive, is really calm and comfortable, or when you’re topping him and calling him nicknames

has a choking kink (on either of you)

he’s very vocal with grunts and either praise or degrading you, also moans the first time he’s in you, every time

calls you: baby, sweetheart, perfect, (when more aggressive): cocksleeveve, slut, good boy/girl

will call you his personal medic/nurse/doctor

you call him: baby, lovey, good/perfect boy, daddy occasionally, captain speirs (which will get him to go to a whole other level)

you two have done some sexy medic/patient role play before both during the war and after (mayhaps a little morphine was involved, which was very hard to explain to Gene why you were down a bottle suddenly)

overstimulate each other

loves to watch you touch yourself, the way your body moves is like crack to him

you do this both when you’re trying to torture him (he’s tired to the headboard or a chair) or as a mutual masturbation thing

he is the perfect size, rides that sweet line between “ouch that’s too big” and “a slight stretch” where you tend to need a second when he sinks in for the first time but the stretch is always welcome

you both love when you give him head and when you pull back you’re connected to him with spit and cum

yall definitely had secret foxhole rendezvous (this is where his ‘hand over your mouth to keep you quiet’ kink came from)

after your first time together (on the wonderful Paris leave), you look over at him with watery eyes and just say “i love you so much.” he doesn’t hesitate with a “i love you more than anything.”

that instigates the softest second round of just sweet, loving kisses and quiet “i love you”’s in between and when you finish

keeps asking you to wear your PT clothes (post war) because he can’t help but watch hot your body and muscles move under the tight shirt and short shorts

after weeks of him asking you surprise him by coming back from a light run in those clothes and he knows that it’s on

after some hot ass sex you ask him if he’ll wear his “your back and muscles look great in that shirt and your ass looks incredible in those shorts.”

within the week he pulls the same scenario of going out for a light run in that outfit and you jump his fucking bones

he likes it why you try to cover your moans and whines by biting your lip or with your hand or in a pillow but you just can’t help it and become so loud

you both like when the other gets watery eyes and starts getting all soft and sensitive and their eyes get wide and submissive

like to talk to you during sex, “you’re doing so good for me-“ “fuck you’re feel good baby-“, “you krio doing that i won’t last long-“, “you look so good when you ride me baby, oh fu—“

when he gets really close after a few rounds and is overstimulated and is almost crying (consensually) he pants and gasps and finishes with a cry and maybe a sob but he feels so good-

loves when you feel too much and you just sort of space out for a second or go silent because your brain just short circuits

maybe you squirt once and tried to do it for a whole night after that

once did it so much that he made you dehydrated (can that even happen? idk, but now it can.)

y’all have aftercare DOWN

you know exactly what the other needs after there are dom/sub roles in play or after just regular (incredible as usual) sex

cleaning each other in the shower or bath gentle, kissing so softly of sometimes just being near each other but not touching because you’re both so sensitive

tea and snacks in bed cuddled up after (or any food and hydration really)

if one of you is particularly tired after, the other reads to them while running their hair through their hair until the person on their lap/shoulder/chest fall asleep

aggressive angry sex (you’re never scared the other is going to hurt each other because you know that you’re never angry at each other (just something/someone else) and that you just need to get all of the aggression and energy out and maybe feel more in control of the world for a bit

talks you through it

“that feel good sweetheart? tell me how good it feels.”

“what’s wrong baby, you gonna cum for me again?”

“oh you just feel so good you can’t even think anymore! so drunk on my cock aren’t you sweetheart!”

yell tease each other like it’s your job

that could mean verbally teasing each other or edging each other, or giving the other the gentlest touches and brushes, just barely touching the other for them to get anything other than a shiver of pleasure

slow dancing that just turned to grinding

This man makes me have thoughts I should not have, so I will stop here <3

#ronald speirs x reader #band of brothers #ron speirs x reader #band of brothers x reader #band of brothers imagine #ron speirs #ronald speirs #dano speaks #headcannons

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yallthemwitches · 1 month ago

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Too Much Birthday

A sequel of sorts to my @jilytoberfest fic for Day 11 (Small Touches) Written for Day 14, prompt:Surprise Party!

Might be a contender for the fluffiest thing I've ever written if I'm being honest...

AO3 Link Here

“Wow, my mates truly have no shame do they?”

Lily creaks open the door to the boy’s dorm. Records and jumpers litter the floor all the way to where James is leaned up in his bed, a copy of Transfiguration Travails open on his knee.

“Nope—absolutely none for the whole lot of them, but don’t act like you are so shocked.”

James puts the magazine down and sits up. Lily tries not to let her eyes settle on where his shirt is unbuttoned three places more than it should, but the backdrop of his bed is making it even more difficult to ignore. She wonders if he hadn’t just broken up with Maelle a week ago would he be somewhere else, somewhere more festive, rather than holing up in his room.

“Ok Evans. Go on, tell me the pitch.” He smirks and crosses his arms behind his head.

“You aren’t allowed to go downstairs until Sirius comes to get you.”

She says it in her most stern, prefect voice, specifically leaving out some key words in the paraphrasing. What Sirius actually said was to distract him, but seeing as they were alone with his bed easily accessible, the word sounded too charged to repeat.

“Mhm, just what I thought.” An amused smile tugs at his face. “And what is stopping me from just muscling my way past you and down the stairs?”

“I guess my bizarre loyalty to following directions.”

James’ eyes narrow and suddenly Lily wishes she hadn’t agreed to be his keeper for the unforeseeable future. After his break-up, things had been weird between them. He had stopped coming to study in the library, no longer even passing her notes when they were both bored in History of Magic. In all honesty, Sirius coming to her for this favor was the only indication that she wasn’t out of his life entirely.

Perhaps that’s why she agreed to do it, despite knowing how dangerous it is to be left alone with Potter in his room. Because, well, she misses him.

James stands up from the bed and takes a small step forward, eyes narrowed like a cat on the hunt. Lily plays along. She’s been around him long enough to know what his brand of mischief looks like. She takes a wider stance, arms up and poised to fight.

She waits for him to start running at her, maybe make a zig zag approach and slip past. Instead, he walks slowly— deliberate with his steps and a coy smile curling his lips.

Stopping right in front of her, he pushes his hands in his pockets, wildly amused. It's close enough to where she can feel his body heat emanate into her space.

“I’d like to get by now.”

“No chance, Potter.”

Quicker than she can comprehend, she is lifted off the ground. They have never touched like this before but inexplicably she is now in his embrace, being pushed against his chest to hover just a few centimeters away from the floor— a far cry from the knee touches and playful smacks they give each other in the library. She lets out a squeal of surprise, then a pealing Oh! as the reality of his arms, his chest, his gleefully stupid expression all click into place.

He drops her suddenly, eyes wide with remorse. Both hands run through his hair.

“Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry, that was out of line.” He scrubs a hand down his face, attempting to figure out what compelled him to cross the invisible line that separated friendship from something else entirely.

“Hey, it’s fine. I was playing along.”

An understatement; it was more than fine, brilliant even to finally feel what the embrace of James Potter felt like.

He looks around the room, clearly no longer feeling comfortable with the situation. She wants to say there are no hard feelings— but what she really wants is for him to do it again.

“Look, you can tell Sirius that I’ll keep myself up here and you can–”

“No really, it's fine. We were just having a laugh–calling each other’s bluff.” He looks at her with uncertainty but she ignores it.

“Ok, new idea. Why don’t you give me a grand tour of your room?”

James blinks. Any wariness about their previous incident erases from his face as he raises his eyebrows and gestures broadly to the room, spinning around once in place for effect.

“Well—here it is.”

Lily snorts. “That’s not what I mean asshole—I meant your side of the room. Knowing you, you have all kinds of weird bits and bobs hiding around.”

She doesn’t wait for an invitation, walking past him and towards the bed she found him sitting on when she entered. James follows quick at her heels, juggling between bewildered and excited.

“Alright Potter, let's see it.”

She looks around his space. In many ways, it's a visual microcosm of him: a little messy, but with a clear method to the madness. He gestures to the bed, amusement fully restored on his face.

“Well, that’s my bed—I use it for sleeping.”

“Alright, good start.” She can feel a smile cracking on her face.

“And that’s my broom–I use it for quidditch.”

“Groundbreaking.”

“And those are my books—I use them for reading.”

She can’t help but laugh at the stupidity of it all–not even just the tour but everything about the evening so far.

“Wow Potter. Have you ever thought of going into the hospitality business? You make an incredible tour guide.”

She flops herself down on the side of the bed nearest to a stack of books on the nightstand and grabs for the one separated from the rest. He stands there for a moment, eyes lingering on her with red blooming beneath the wire rim of his glasses before sitting next to her, knee jostling hers as the bed moves from his weight.

Lily turns the book in her hand. “The Animal Instinct: My life as the first Animagus.”

He clears his throat. “I like biographies—especially ones written by old bats that make me fall asleep.”

Lily opens the book to where it is marked and recognizes her handwriting on the piece of parchment holding his place. James makes a noise of discomfort, but Lily pulls the note out of his reach.

It is months old, but she recognizes it immediately. It was one of the notes she passed to him during Professor Binns’ lecture on the Thelema Inquisition Act of 1935. Handwriting untidy and smudged, the note reads:

Remind me to tell you about the stupid thing I did in Potions this morning.

It meant nothing really. She couldn’t even remember what stupid thing she had been referring to. Yet, the note was there nonetheless, passing through his hand each time he read before bed.

“I just needed something to mark my page and it was the first thing I found,” he equivocates, running a hand through his hair.

She doesn’t respond, continuing to reread the note. It is a testament to better days—days where James and her were unquestionably mates.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?”

Maybe it’s because of the note or maybe because she has just invaded his personal space, but she wants to be honest for once.

“After you and Maelle broke up, you started to act really weird with me–like we weren’t friends anymore.” He doesn’t say anything, looking down at his hands that rest in his lap.

“--I understand that you are probably going through a lot, but—I miss you. I just hope you know that if you want to talk, I’m here for you.”

She is staring ahead, but a calloused hand turns her face towards him and his lips meet hers. Suddenly, she can’t think anymore, can’t even remember why she is sitting in that room with him, but she can feel his mouth: warm and soft and gone as fast as it came.

“In all honesty Evans, I have just wanted to do that.”

His hand is still on her cheek and she pulls him back, already feeling addicted to the smell of his skin and how his lips know the perfect pressure to press into hers.

Their kisses are full of smiles and laughter as much as sighs and groans of contentment. Even after what seems like eternity, neither pulls away, both able to feel that anything beyond their space together is a speck of dust in comparison.

“Sirius will probably call for us soon–” She says it just as a matter of fact, but her mind is very far from whatever his mates have prepared for him for the rest of the evening.

“Don’t care. Don’t need a party,” he says through his kisses, each one as tender and loving as the last.

“You sure? I heard Sirius got you a real lion—”

“I’m not one for extravagance—I’m very modest as you know.”

She laughs and he catches it with his mouth. Joy bursting from both of them.

“Going down there would be too much birthday, I reckon. Might as well play it safe and stay up here.”

She lets him keep kissing her, only stopping so they tangle closer together. She knows eventually Sirius will come bounding up the stairs, searching for the man of the hour, but until then, she will keep on holding him close, happiness more infectious with each passing second.

After all, it is his birthday.

#jilytober fest 2024 #jilytober day 14 #jily #james potter #lily evans #idiots in love #so much fluff in this one #marauders era #jily fanfiction #james x lily

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heart-heart-heart · 3 months ago

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Incomplete transcript of Nick Marini's Beacon AMA

Spoilers, typos (both mine and his), also Discord was messing up so a lot of the questions didn't load. I didn't copy every response either, mostly focused on lore

Q: Do you have any headcanons/conspiracy theories about Exandria (or more specifically) the ending of the Calamity? A: I definitely think that the Dawnfather does not like the Divergence but accepts it as necessary both for his family and for mortals. All of his domains are so hands on. I think he is much more comfortable leading by example and actually doing, as opposed to directing from behind.

Q: Choosing to play Ayden as a kid was an insane choice (in the best way possible). What drew you to that? Would you have still done it if you played a different god? A: Having Ayden be 15 was definitely a reaction to the Dawnfather’s name. I liked it both because it subverts the expectation of him as the patriarch and also I think he would have waited until the last possible moment to take a mortal incarnation, as his domains are so fundamental to the wellbeing of Exandria. He is hands on and the thought of stepping away from that is tough. Had I played a different god I would have been more around that 30 mark for sure!

Q: What was your inspiration behind making Ayden view the Dawnfather as his father instead of being the Dawnfather in disguise? A: I really liked the idea of the Dawnfather sending his hope to Exandria in the form of Ayden. Yes he is the Dawnfather, but he is not the entirety of the Dawnfather, nor has he had the time to reconcile his divinity with his mortality the way the others have. Ayden is both brand new and ever constant, the young aspect of an ancient whole. He does not have the baggage the Dawnfather has and maybe disagree’s at times with him/himself. He is not old enough to know that some things are beyond even the gods and miracles. He is the Dawnchild filled with he hope of a new day. Sun deities have often been described as being reborn each day and so there is this journey of youth to age they experience each day. Having him be the Dawnchild felt like it put him in conversation with how many sun deities have been described, as well as allowing him to literally be in conversation with himself Dawnchild to Dawnfather.

Q: Was there a confrontation between another NPC or PC that you wish you would have been able to see or gotten more time at the table? A: I thought it would have been really fun to talk with the Lawbearer herself more. As the god of agriculture I think we overlap in some interesting ways. Civilization after all stems from agriculture. We also had really different views on the way Aeor should be handled and Ayden had never seen a city before so I think that would have been my choice!

Q: what location/area in exandria would you most like to explore ? A: Whitestone would be awesome to check out! That’s my favorite tree!

Q: ? A: Oh Jeez that’s tough!. As a player watching Slitch and the Ars Elysia was so fun! Also I love rp with Bren and him screaming at me was amazing. Everyone just absolutely killed it though so its hard to choose a fave I feel like everyone had such great moments! Noshir saying “little lies are okay” was absolutely heartbreaking and I feel like he put on a masterclass of patiently choosing your moments.

Q: As mentioned in the 4SD, once you all shed your mortality there seemed to be a shifting of the Gods' views on mortals and mortality as well. What was your behind-the-scenes take on that moment and what would Ayden think about his father after the fall of Aeor? A: I think for Ayden this experience was part of growing up. Sometimes even the pure of heart or those with unassailable conviction have to realize that the world is a messy place and not everything can be truly solved, rather we are always in a constant state of trying. I think he gave it his best shot and came up short, as the Dawnfather knew would happen. But part of parenthood is sometimes letting them try and loving them as they fail. It’s important to try. I also think about how the Gods do not have an afterlife, so for them death is something they fear on a much deeper level. Ayden wants to save them, the Dawnfather knows not everyone can be saved, he wishes Ayden was right, it’s why he had to send him, but eventually the Dawnfather has to step in.

Q: If the Dawnfather had a chance to speak to Ludinus, what would he say?

A: "I am sorry that the lesson you took from the fall of Aeor was that tearing things down is the only way to solve them.

Q: During the 4 Sided Dive, Brennan mentioned how you were a player that combined the best of both mechanical & narrative elements to do really crazy and insane builds. How do you come up with these concepts, and for anyone wanting to expand in these areas what would be your advice to do so? A: I think I touch a little on this in the Adventuring Academy ep he and I did a while back. For me I feel that mechanics help inform the narrative and vice versa. The classes you choose can really tell a story. And the story you experience can really shape what classes you choose! A cool idea for a build doesn’t necessarily translate to a fun character to play and a cool character idea might be boring to actually play mechanically. I like to choose one thing I really know I want to explore and go from there. So for instance with Ayden I knew he was going to be a cleric of the Everlight and I knew the 6th level Peace Domain was a really fun mechanical ability I wanted to play with. Ayden grew very much from that foundation. Having a plan and being open to changing it is key! In our home campaign I played a knight who by the end was taking wizard classes because he realized that no matter how good a knight he was he could not teleport to a place in need, so he started taking wiz levels which I never expected and he did so even though he never got to cast teleport.

Q: What fun multi-class combos or ability interactions did you not get to show off at the table due to time limits? If you and Emily Axford shared a table would Brennan just instantly self-immolate? A: Ayden could have tanked quite a few spells with his insane spell defense and saving throws. I almost used the Divine Prowess to make a persuasion check to convince the enemy wizards to target me but I had already take so much damage from warding bond that I didn’t. If Emily Axford and I ever play in Bren’s table I want to build like twins or something who combo together to immolate him if he refuses to self-immolate

Q: ? A: I was reading a Dragon Magazine that had a 3.5 variant for Druid called Sidhe Scholar. It is basically an academic who while studying the fey accidentally draws their attention and they begin to mess with them. I loved the idea and Bren’s brother was running a low magic campaign at the time with a nation that had given up metals in an ancient pact with the fey who in turn gave up the magic to end the war between the two. The Sidhe Scholar has a animal companion who only is friendly to the druid so basically he was out studying one day and then a magical hawk wouldn’t leave him alone and he got branded a witch by the locals and had to flee the country. I want to play him more.

Q: How collaborative was the character building process for Downfall? Did any of you have overlap in gods you wanted to explore? A: TI went first it theSession 0 and pitched what would become Ayden. There wasn’t really any overlap and people had such interesting takes on the different gods that it all sort of fell into place nicely! I thought about but didn’t pitch the Changebringer, flipping a coin to decide to destroy Aeor seemed so sad. She would have likely been a rogue or bard or maybe ranger. I did pitch the Crawling King as a sort of recipient of all pain and suffering who was using this brief time of some semblance of sanity to beg the primes to restart creation because only he knew how much suffering there was in the world. He would have been maybe similar to Ayden’s build but like Zealot Barbarian subclass and no Paladin or something. Just soaking up all the damage he could. There were definitely parts of Zaharzht that were similar but I would have taken Tishar’s advice and not been a tortle!

Q: when Trist looked at Asmodeous, she saw her husband. Who would Ayden see?

A: I think that the Dawnfather sees his brother clearly as he is, tragic beauty and all. I wonder if Ayden also would have seen his true form? I don't think there is anyone outside of the divine family that Ayden would have been thinking about, so perhaps he would have seen his brother not as he truly is but rather as he wishes he could be?

Q: ? A: I don’t know! I think both Dragons were flying around and Stormlord was doing his thing. As for the other I’m sure they were standing by ready to pounce!

Q: Which parts of the Dawnfather and of Ayden’s personality came easiest to you? Which parts were the hardest? A: I will say it was kind of intimidating having my first big actual play be Critical Role and playing the Dawnfather no less! Ayden felt like he came pretty easy, he is the inner child of the Dawnfather and I think protecting your inner child is worth it. The detached nature the Dawnfather has had at times was difficult but I think it stems from the way he was forced to detach himself from Exandria.

Q: Which parts of the Dawnfather and of Ayden’s personality came easiest to you? Which parts were the hardest? A: The concept came pretty quick when I started looking at the Gods of Exandria. I just liked this unexpected view of the Dawnfather that so many thought they had pegged. I think I sort of saw him differently than I heard people talk about during my research. I spoke with Bren a few times for sure and I think he ran it by Matt but honestly Matt just trusted us all to do this which is just a testament to him and his incredible generosity with this wonderful world.

Dawn is also something that I have always had a very personal connection with. My first tattoo was of the Great Eastern Sun, which is the rising sun. I drive an VW Eos, named after the greek goddess of the Dawn. The day of our first shoot I woke up before dawn and watched the sun rise over the Santa Monica mountains as I began a new journey at Critical Role. Dawn represents new possibility or rebirth, its something I deeply appreciate and wanted to bring to the Dawnfather and myself.

Q: First off loved every moment of the Dawnchild, When designing Ayden what made you choose a softer interpretation of Pelor's personality than we've seen in previous CR content A: One of my favorite quotes is, “Don’t let your shield become a cage.” I think the Dawnfather’s experience with his concept goes a step further. He had to cage himself behind the Divine Gate in order not to cage the mortals he sought to shield. It changed him. The light of dawn is soft. He once walked among the mortals and taught them, fed them, gave them light, showed them how to tell time and change with he seasons. He was a present father who was forced to be distant. I wanted to take that journey.

Q: Huge props for your performance at the table, such a profound joy to watch you play. What do you think the Dawnfather’s biggest regret about how he “created” Ayden was, and what moment do you think he felt the most proud of Ayden? A: I appreciate that so much. It was a profound joy to play with such amazing people so I’m thankful that translated! He would have been most proud of how Ayden protected his family. Especially Trist who he was in part sent specifically to watch over. I think he regrets that he had to create him at all and especially that he, to some extent, had to sacrifice that aspect of himself and leave it in Exandria while he sequesters himself behind the divine gate.

Q: ? A: Ugh I’m so glad it wasn’t Ayden that would have shattered him but it had to be done. He has one family and he has to protect it.

Q: During 4 Sided Dive, Brennan discussed the Dawnfather after mortality and his return to divinity, to the 'harsher and sterner' image we get in modern Exandria. What was it like to experience and create that transition of a hopeful and longing God, to a more hardened God? Did you block or pre-meditate any of that or did you just go with how you felt he would have reacted in the moment? A: I for sure premeditated the setup. I really wanted to take that journey and show us a different side of the Dawnfather. I didn’t know how it would end up or what the journey would actually be but I did intentionally set up the juxtaposition. This is to my knowledge the only time we get to see the Dawnfather on this side of the Divine Gate which I think makes a big difference.

Q:? A: I wanted those wizards to target me more!!! I had absurd spell defenses. Spell rolls agains me were at disadvantage, I got advantage on saves, had 11s and 17s on all my saves, and I had resistance to spells. And AC 23. Turns out casting Warding Bond on yourself negates all that lol. But I did get a lot of my buff spells and abilities off!

Q: ? A: I love dogs! I think part of the reason Gilly the dog was in the first episode was because Ashley and I talked a lot about our pups when we had our zoom talk!

Q: You had some of the most quotable moments (like the "do not lie to me!" scene) Did you write down any ideas of what to say like some of the more profound things such as "Why must it always be like this?" or is it all improvised? A: Thank you! The only thing I’d been considering word for word was a quote from the opening line of Tycho’s song Sunrise Projector, “Civilization stems from the simple act of placing seeds and plants into the ground.” I was saving it for my talk with the Lawbearer and then she sent the Emissary instead!! When I said the line about the sun being blotted out I was thinking about my question in ep 1 where I asked if the sun was visible from the sky city. I had been thinking about how the stars weren’t visible and though that was important somehow and ended up finding it in that moment.

Q: ? A: Lovely question. I think as an actor you are always looking at what similarities and differences you have with a given character. It can be both lovely to explore something similar or exciting to delve into something so different from your own experience. In terms of rpgs I think I often play things that are of interest or in my thoughts at the time. For Downfall recently I have been thinking a lot about hope, both how important it is and how painful it can be, knowing in your head what your heart cannot yet accept. In that way I do think there was a lot of Nick in Ayden.

Q: what atmsophere did you think the dawnfather needed to have? What were your thoughts on how he carried himself and how he interacted with the world around him? A: The Dawnfather desires to be in Exandria most of all! I think he believes he knows best but also wishes to help mortals. He is very hands on so the Divine Gate is a real bummer.

Q: If the Dawnfather/Ayden had the chance/opportunity to live out a full, well lived mortal life after the events of Downfall, how do you think that ultimately would've looked like? A: I think he would have traveled extensively and mostly in rural places where he felt more comfortable, doing what he could to help others. I think he might eventually settle down and start a family. He is destined to be a father after all. He probably would have valued education in honor of Trist and found any opportunity to see her.

Q: When the Dawnfather told Asmodeus not to lie to him, what future did he envision where the gods again lived in harmony? How would such a reconciliation happen? Absolutely loved your portrayal, hugely meaningful. A: Thank you! I think the Dawnfather knows that future may not exist. “Do not lie to me” was as much a command as a plea. It doesn’t need to be like this. I don’t think reconciliation can happen while Exandria exists unfortunately which makes their love for each other all the more tragic. Ayden was the part of him that hoped it could but the Dawnfather knows it cannot be.

Q: ? A: In a way yes. He was growing up. I don’t believe that hope is only for children by any means. I think hope is powerful and necessary. I do think that some hopes are painful and that some hopes we have to grow out of in order to move forward. Ayden hoped beyond hope that he could save the mortals and reconcile them and perhaps even the gods. The Dawnfather has to shed that hope so that hope for the mortals and thus Exandria can continue and so that he can do what is necessary to further that goal.

Q: Ashley mentioned on 4-sided Dive that you guys built a lot of backstory for Ayden and Trist. Could you maybe tell us more about that? A: Ayden was found in a meteor crater by a nomadic tribe far from civilization. He taught them agriculture and was a prodigy at reading the stars, outshining their oldest druids. He was to be initiated into the tribe but his skin would not receive the sacred ink marking him as a member. Instead he was given to the charge of an elderly knight who had had some dealings with the time in the past. The knight taught him as they traveled and brought him to a school where he could learn before passing away. That school was Trist’s. He spent maybe 3-5 years living with her and her family, playing with her children and dog, helping the other children with their lessons and learning from Trist.

Q: ? A: Oh my gosh what an incredible scene that was! I think the Dawnfather would have been amused. I didn’t expect to like the Archheart as much as the Dawnfather did. I think the Angel stuff would have dampened his mood for sure though!

Q: ? A: Thank you so much! A rollercoaster it truly was! Before we shot I woke up before the dawn to watch the sun rise. Before we played I was a little nervous but Noshir wanted some help with his character build and I was so thankful to have something to distract me! I could not believe how tired I was after filming. Active listening is the name of the game and its way more of that in actual play by a mile than the traditional film or movie sets I am used to where we are stopping every few minutes. After it was all over Abubaker, Noshir, and I all just hung around while they finished the announcements, we didn’t want it to be over. After we left Bren and I had a nice little midnight snack to just catch up about the incredible experience that it was! It can definitely be hard sometimes to let go just because the experience can feel so magical. Fortunately because of my time at the Wayfinder Experience where “de-rolling” is a thing we very much talk about, so I sort of have been trained to be able to separate back to real life after delving into fantasy!

Q: How much inspiration did you draw from the relationship between Jesus and God / The Holy Trinity? A: Let me preface this by saying I have seen some questions/thoughts about this and I hope I can answer this thoughtfully and respectfully, because anytime we are dealing with something of this nature we need to be conscious of all the different beliefs that our communities may have, and lead with love. I do think we it can be discussed positively and with good intention and (no pun intended) in good faith.

I would encourage a broader view of Ayden/The Dawnfather than just this parallel, and it certainly was not my primary inspiration, though I think it is a natural association to make and is not necessarily wholly incorrect. It is simply something many (westerners especially) are most familiar with and therefore most likely to see, a natural and understandable confirmation bias. Sun deities of many pantheons have long been associated with the son and father dynamic and rebirth/renewal. Horus and Osiris of the Egyptian pantheon for instance. While my education and background makes me obviously deeply aware of the stated similarity, my hope is, that by broadening our view to include many ancient religions and sun deities we can see that there is much more to it than that, and that they are all informing and in conversation with the Ayden/Dawnfather relationship.

Q: ? A: I think Ayden’s expectation were very unrealistic.That is part of the fun of playing in a tragedy. You have to set yourself up to be emotionally devastated! Yay :’( I think though he hoped that them working together after all these centuries might make a difference. SPOILER it did not.

Q: What was up with Ayden's shield? A: It was given to him/he took it from the knight who brought Ayden from the tribe that found him to Trist’s school. It is a Spellguard Shield which is very good. Also the marking on it is this name in Ogham. Ayden kept taking it and the knight told him it wasn’t his because it didn’t have his name on it. Oops who knew this 6 year old could scratch his own name into a magical shield. Well now its his I guess? Divine children what you gonna do?

Q: When did Ayden decide or realize that it was time to use Sunburst and bring the dawn to Aeor? Had you considered using it at any point before? A: So Ayden regularly would not have had access to it. Once we unlocked Divine Magic it became available. With that surge of divine power stemming from the the wards being destroyed by S.I.L.A.H.A. I felt like there was a moment where Ayden lost much of his agency and the Dawnfather began to exert more direct control. It was very much me looking at 9th level spells and then moving downwards to see what would be a cool spell now that I had access to them.

Q: Brennan mentioned there being mood boards for this game so everyone knew the vibe, did Ayden have one and if so, what was on his? A: He didn’t have an explicit mood board but I did make a playlist. His association with he Everlight made me want to go for sort of an Quaker vibe which is why his clothing is so simple and he never directly attacks someone until the divine magic surges into him and he casts Sunburst. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2cJMThISPIUAfflOiZqi9B

Q: When speaking to Acastriel, you stated "You and I will have words". How were you feeling in that moment? … A: Very disappointed in him! Also I felt like I didn’t even need to deal with him at that moment. We will talk in my divine realm and he will be dealt with there. I felt like sort of ignoring him was honestly more devastating than giving him the time of day after that one line.

Q: If Ayden could talk to the future Exandrians who ill watch the events of Downfall, what would he say to them? A: "I tried."

Q: How does Ayden and the Dawnfather's views differ on their relationship to the other Gods? Particularly in relation to the Everlight and the Lord of the Hells? Does Ayden treat them differently then the Dawnfather would and vice versa? Also, silly side question: How close did Ayden get to punching Father Milo in the face? A: I think they are generally pretty close. I think Ayden is less likely to directly oppose the Betrayer Gods by virtue of him being sent to work with them. The Dawnfather knows better. I think both Ayden and the Dawnfather share a deep love of the Everlight and I think it was both of them talking when I spoke about her being the bravest of us. And very very close hahah, I think he sort of thought the whole priest of the Dawnfather was funny as long as he didn’t think about all he people Father Milo probably poisoned the minds of in his name.

Q: ? A: Dawn has always been important to me so maybe the Dawnfather. I think in a world where divine magic is provable I’d be much more likely to put my faith into a specific place or entity. The Platinum Dragon or the Everlight might be candidates too. I do think though that the Knowing Mistress is cool and honestly in a pantheon I’d probably shout out different gods for different things!

Q: ? A: I think there is some truth to that, though I don’t think Ayden would have been aware of it. Having someone else to care for, but who also reminded her of her real family was enough for the Dawnfather without having Ayden need to be cognizant of it. I really liked the idea of the Dawnfather being concerned with the Everlight the most because she has been so betrayed by the Lord of the Nine Hells and her followers and temples destroyed. They also share a divine realm so it just felt like he needed to look out for his sister. He also knows she is the most likely and also currently has the most potential to just decide to be mortal and forget about her divinity and the Dawnfather doesn’t want to lose her. I’d like to think Trist would have understood but it could have been a pretty powerful moment if she felt like she was being deceived by even him. That would have been heartbreaking.

Q: What rarity of magic items were you allowed to take and how many? A: We were granted 2 magic items. One very rare and one uncommon. For my uncommon I chose a cloak of resistance, a parting gift from the tribe that Ayden could not join. This upped my saves to 11s or 17s and took my AC to 23. For his very rare magic item I took a spellguard shield, inherited from the knight who brought him from the remote tribe to Trist‘s school, giving me advantage on saving throws vs spells and magical effects and inflicting disadvantages on spell effects targeting me. Combine that with resistance to spells from Aura of Warding and that’s a nasty nasty combo v wizards.

Q: You’ve mentioned going back and watching the Dawnfather’s appearances across previous campaigns, which were your favorite moments and what did you focus on from them to inform Ayden? A: I loved that he planted the Sun Tree in White Stone. I really was trying to get the big picture more so than look for moments that stood out. I did keep coming back to the fact that we never see him on the Exandrian side of the Divine Gate and that all his domains are so hands on. I think that really informed Ayden. That and the fact that he shares his divine realm with the Everlight. It just spoke to a Deity that I felt like had more depth that I saw the prevailing opinions about him recognize.

Q: ? A: The Everlight but don’t tell the others even though its pretty obvious. I think canonically least fav is the Chained Oblivion but I’m not even 100% that that is one of our siblings!

Q: ? A: yes I cried after I used sunburst because I fell prey to the allure of power!

Q: What do you think is the biggest difference between Aru the light being and Pelor the god? A: Aru was so much more! and was himself protected the Dawnfather now protects

Q: ? A: I think he knew pretty early actually his early life was in many ways much more divinely evident that his teens

Q: What were Ayden's thoughts to Asmodeus having betrayed them all? A: I belive he was lying about never loving us which is whats so sad! The fact that he betrayed us was dissapointing but unsruprising and I was mad that the Everlight got hurt again

Q: Were the gods always aware of their true selves within their avatars/were they unaware? A: I think Ayden knew from a young age but also had a lof of agency

Q: Is there abook, film, or other piece of media that has informed a lot of your storytelling or the types of stories that you are drawn to?

Q: Love the last Unicorn. Personal faves are ANimated Hobbit, Flight of Dragons, Black Cauldron

#critical role #cr spoilers #cr ayden #cr downfall #the dawnfather #i dont know discord so i couldn't make the questions reload :(

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