#he randomly woke up one day and everything he thought he had was gone

[milkchocimono]

everytime i think about kabukimono showing the nameless boy the shakkei pavilion i die a little inside

[bamfkeeper]

Sinister Kurt having trouble with his instincts, you are the only one who calms him.

Firstly, Kurt with horns? YUM. But I like how they showed him having difficulty controlling himself after his mutation was further developed (I don't remember what the circumstances were). I thought it was a cool concept for his character so here we go. Inner conflict is always fun.

Warnings: Descriptions of violence and blood, some angst, comfort ofc, gender neutral reader, unedited ignore mistakes.

WC: 2.7k

Kurt had no idea where they came from. He woke up with two horns on his head like some sort of Krampus. He felt something inside himself stir, and he tried to ignore it, it felt like a pit in his gut that slowly began to expand and grow when he wasn't focused on repressing it.

You reassured him he was still the handsome man you loved, his horns gave him a little extra insecurity. He hadn't felt so insecure about himself in a long time, as Krakoa had provided such acceptance his appearance hadn't been a thought in his mind as a bad thing. But these horns...they made him look more like a devil than anything else, and that worried him.

"Engel...I am becoming ein Teufel..." he mumbled sadly, touching them as he looked at himself in the mirror. "What is becoming of me..." he turned to look at you, his eyes holding confliction and sadness.

"Oh, my love," you cooed to him, standing and walking over, "They're just a pair of little horns...I'm sure that they'll go away...maybe." Your sentence quieted towards the end, it was such a random development, you had no idea where the horns stemmed from and what was going to happen to him. Was his mutation randomly evolving more? Was it something in Krakoa that was making his mutation mutate? You didn't know.

Kurt sighed inwardly, his arms wrapped tightly around himself as if seeking solace from an unseen torment. You hadn't seen him in this state for years; he looked so lost, so utterly confused. It was as though he was grappling with a fear that had taken residence within him, a fear directed at his very own reflection. With his new appearance, you couldn't blame him for feeling this way.

His once familiar face now bore the horns of a demon and he couldn't recognize himself, even with something so minor. He thought he looked awful, and he was at a complete loss on how to process these overwhelming feelings, the weight of his transformation was a burden he didn't know how to carry.

Not that he told you yet, but it wasn't just a physical change he had gone through. There was something deeper and more unsettling happening within him. His urges were growing stronger and more insistent every day. He felt a strange compulsion that he couldn't easily explain. He didn't know how to bring it up with you because he didn't want to scare you or make you worry. The thought of sharing this part of himself was something he was trying to avoid, he feared your reaction more than anything.

He would see you talk to another man, and everything in his body screamed at him to attack. His muscles tensed, his fists clenched, and his heart pounded as primal instincts surged through him. The images and urges that flashed across Kurt's mind scared him deeply, filling him with a sense of dread and confusion. He shook his head vigorously, trying to dispel the violent thoughts clouding his mind.

"Nein...I am...not a monster," he muttered to himself, arguing, begging with his own being, his voice trembling with the effort to control his darker impulses. He held onto you, whispering German prayers to himself. The internal struggle was intense, leaving him feeling isolated and tormented, as if he were battling a beast within.

And he was, in a way.

His grip on your hip would be tight, his nails had grown into claws that dug into you, not on purpose but in the moment he couldn't help himself. His yellow eyes glared at the man, his lip curled up slightly to bare his teeth. He snapped out of his descent only when he heard your voice in his ear. "Kurt?? That hurts, a bit..." You winced slightly, your hand gently trying to ease the grip he had on your waist.

He snapped out of it, blinking a few times and letting go. "Liebling....I...es tut mir Leid...." he apologized quietly, his voice barely a whisper. He looked down at his hand once he let go of you, his eyes filled with confusion and concern. "Something is happening to me...I....do not know how to explain it," he continued, his tone tinged with a mix of fear and bewilderment.

What was strange was that a part of him actually liked these new instincts that were surfacing within him. It was a feeling that baffled him, and he hated himself for even entertaining such thoughts. He had always prided himself on his compassion and his desire to never cause harm to anyone, ever.

But now, these intrusive thoughts were invading his mind with increasing frequency, making the idea of causing harm seem so...good, almost irresistible. It was a battle within himself, between the person he had always been and these dark new impulses that threatened to take over. It was like a siren song, beckoning him to come over the brink.

"What do you mean?" you asked him gently, your voice full of understanding and patience. Despite having no idea what was going on, you managed to sound so composed and caring. He was incredibly fortunate to have someone like you by his side. So deeply in love with him, you were always there to protect and support him. Your devotion was unwavering, and it made him feel cherished. So protective. So possessive.

Kurt stared you down intently, his piercing yellow eyes observing your every move. After a moment of intense scrutiny, he grabbed hold of you firmly and tugged you flush against him. You could feel the warmth of his body against yours, and his breathing increased noticeably. You made a sudden gasp of surprise at the unexpected act, your heart pounding in your chest.

He lowered his head closer to you, his forehead gently touching yours, his horns rested delicately on your head. Behind him, his tail thrashed wildly, a clear indication of his heightened emotions. It was obvious that he was either irritated or stressed, as his tail only behaved this way in such situations. The air around you seemed to crackle with tension, making the moment even more intense. His silence didn't help.

"Kurt...?" you squeaked as his hands grasped your ass and squeezed firmly, sending a shiver down your spine. Your eyes widened in surprise and you felt his tail wrap tightly around you, holding you still in a firm, possessive grip.

"Kurt!" you exclaimed, looking around nervously. He had never been so bold before, and this unexpected display of affection caught you off guard. A few playful touches here and there in public were common, sure, but to grab you in such an intimate and brazen manner without a care in the world was completely unlike him.

Your mind raced as you tried to make sense of his sudden audacity, wondering what had prompted this uncharacteristic behavior. "W-what has gotten into you?!" Your voice echoed in his mind, getting lost in the fog clouding his rational thinking. All he could think about right now was you. How good you'd feel, how good you'd taste.

One more shout at him and he seemed to snap out of the hold the dark fog inside of him had. With a blink he pulled back, his cheeks turning violet, "Ach! I-I didn't mean to do that!" Kurt spoke quickly, his voice trembling with urgency, "Es tut mir Leid! I-I'm sorry!" His eyes were wide with concern as he looked at you, clearly distressed.

His hands, which have been on your backside, were retracted up like he had touched an oven, fingers curling as if to protect himself from further harm. The tension in the air was palpable, and you could see the regret etched on his face, his body language screaming apology and fear.

"Kurt, sweetheart...please, talk to me. Tell me what's going on..." You pleaded with him, your hands cupping his cheeks. "I'm not mad because you grabbed my butt either. You've literally been inside me," your words made him stiffen and blush harder, a tiny whine escaping through his trembling lips. "I just want to know what's going on...you're acting so...different. Since those horns sprouted from your head..."

He took a deep breath, his chest rising and falling with a heavy sigh, and looked down to avoid your gaze. The weight of his thoughts made it impossible for him to bring himself to look you in the eye. He felt such shame and embarrassment, fearing you wouldn’t like what you heard. After a moment of silence, he finally spoke, his voice trembling with vulnerability.

"I've been... having thoughts. Bad thoughts... these images flash across my mind. They are random sometimes, appearing out of nowhere, but sometimes they happen in the moment," he begins quietly, his words barely audible. "It's like a dark cloud that follows me, casting a shadow over everything. I don't know what to do about it, and I'm scared of what it means. I'm afraid it means I am becoming something horrible..."

You coo softly, your thumbs gently rubbing his cheekbones as you stay quiet, offering him the space and time he needs to get out the words he struggles to voice. "What are they? The thoughts?" you ask gently, your voice barely above a whisper, trying to coax him into sharing more with you so you can have a better understanding.

"Hurting people," Kurt's voice strains, "I don't want to! I don't want to hurt anyone, I'm not a monster... I don't want to be one... but... it's so overwhelming sometimes. It's like every fiber in my body is demanding me to do it," he continues, his voice cracking under the weight of his confession. You can see the torment etched across his face, the internal struggle tearing him apart.

"You aren't a monster, Kurt. This might just...be part of this new development," you said, your voice gentle and reassuring. You stroked up more, feeling the base of his horns, noting the texture and warmth. "You don't act on those thoughts, and that's a good sign. You're not a slave to those intrusive flashes; you recognize that they are wrong, and you don't act on them. That means you aren't the person you imagine you are. You have control, even if it doesn't always feel that way."

"But what if I do act on them," he asks weakly, his voice trembling with fear and uncertainty. "What if I can't control it?"

"Then I will help you," you replied firmly, your eyes locked onto his, full of determination and love. "I'm not worried, because I believe in you." You gave him a tender kiss, showing him all the love you could muster. "Trust me, if you can't trust yourself. We will face this together, and I will be by your side every step of the way. You are not alone in this."

He shed a few tears, and they stained his pretty cheeks in dark lines as they traveled slowly down his face. His pained gaze closed tightly as he bit his lip, trying to stifle the sobs that threatened to escape. "Ich verdiene dich nicht," he whispered weakly, his voice barely audible as it trembled with emotion. His shaky hands held you with such gentle awareness, as if he were afraid to harm you accidentally with his claws.

"You do." You gave him a few more soft kisses, your gentle reassurance helping keep his emotions at bay.

That was a week ago.

Now, you followed the sound of his teleportation and saw him fighting alongside other mutants. You joined in, not knowing what exactly was happening, but seeing enough to know that these soldiers were attacking your home. You were fighting well, your skills made you a confident fighter, but when Kurt spotted you and more soldiers around you, his composure vanished.

That horrible itch he had been so desperate to scratch was finally too overwhelming for him.

The sound of a mighty roar echoed through the air as he lunged at the soldiers with a terrifying intensity. His movements were swift and brutal, attacking them with such ferocity that it left you stunned, unable to process what was happening. Normally, Kurt was known for his preference to incapacitate his opponents, opting to knock them down and out rather than kill them unless absolutely necessary. However, in this moment, he had abandoned his usual morals and principles, casting them aside like a forgotten cloak.

Right now, he was a force of nature, mercilessly ripping into the soldiers with an uncharacteristic savagery that showcased a side of him you had never seen before. You watched with disbelief as Kurt completely ravaged through the soldiers, staying in front of you and snarling with blood caked between his teeth, drooling down his goatee and staining his fuzzy skin. You tried to call out to him, to be the desperate voice of reason in his carnage.

It seemed that your voice fell on deaf ears, and he continued his relentless attack.

He had ruthlessly slaughtered over twelve men within a mere minute, and he didn't seem to have any qualms or remorse about it. The air was thick with tension as he turned to look at you, his chest heaving with heavy breaths like a wild animal after a fierce battle. Slowly, he crawled over to you, inching closer with a predatory grace.

You were frozen in place, paralyzed by the sheer brutality and unfamiliarity of this new Kurt. His eyes, which were usually so expressive and full of life, now seemed glazed over with an emotion you couldn't quite decipher. It was as if a stranger had taken over the body of the man you once knew, leaving you feeling more vulnerable and confused.

He dripped onto you, causing you to whine and hastily wipe the blood off your top. His head lowered against you, his breath warm and uneven. "Kurt...?" you asked weakly, your voice trembling as it escaped your lips.

The sound of your voice made him stiffen slightly, and he leaned back, his intense gaze boring holes into you, scrutinizing every inch of your face. The air around you felt thick with tension, and you could feel the heavy weight of his stare.

His breathing calmed, the rapid rise and fall of his chest slowing to a more steady rhythm, and he stayed where he was, staring at you with an unwavering focus. You swore he seemed more mutated in that moment, his claws were longer, sharper, and his horns almost appeared just as so, curving menacingly.

The changes in his appearance made your heart race even faster, a mixture of fear and concern gnawing at your insides as you wondered what exactly had happened to him. What caused this?

You slowly reached out to him, your hand trembling as it brushed against his cheek, ignoring the blood that spattered across his skin from his recent animalistic attack. The warmth of his skin contrasted sharply with the coldness of the blood. He relayed a quiet growl to you, his eyes blinking slowly, the ferocity gradually fading as he began to regain his senses.

As he came to, he saw the destruction he had caused, the chaos and ruin that lay around him. It was so painfully heart-wrenching to watch him realize the extent of what he had done, the devastation in his eyes made you want to wrap him up and take him away.

"W-what...what did I do..." he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper, as he glanced back over his shoulder. He could only bear to look at the bodies for a mere second before quickly averting his gaze in horror and disbelief. "Nein...nein, nein....I didn't...did I??" His bloody hands trembled violently, the crimson stains glaring back at him accusingly, and he made a quiet, heart-wrenching wail, shrinking into himself where he sat, overwhelmed by the gravity of the situation.

You were right there to catch him, just as you had promised. Gently, you reached out, offering the comfort and support he desperately needed.

"Hey, hey...it..it's okay," you tried to find the words to comfort him, but you realized words weren't enough to ease the pain or fear he was experiencing. So, you chose to just be there for him, offering silent support and understanding. Just you, being a comforting presence in his time of need.

He grabbed you and clung on, crying as he didn't bother holding himself back. He was distraught, the very thing he feared the most had happened. "I'm here." you whispered quietly, your arms wrapped tightly around him as the rest of the world faded away and you became the only thing he could focus on.

"I'm here."

Thanks for reading.

*BAMF*

dividers by @/adornedwithlight

Cover Images: Legion of X #7 (2023); Legion of X #8 (2023); Legion of X #7 (2023)

[hoaxriot]

FOOLISH ONE

pairings. james potter x reader

synopsis. james potter found love with you after pining for lily evans but did he ever really let go of that love for her?

──────────────────────

once again, you laid in your bed late at night thinking about james potter. had you been overthinking this situation to much? maybe you were, but maybe in reality you weren’t. you had watched him pine after lily evans for years, you met him through remus who was your dear friend.

you watched for years after he got declined by lily and lay on the common room couch surrounded by you and his friends, drowning in his sadness.

until randomly one summer he had found himself looking at you, realizing your beauty he had never seen. so randomly, he stopped chasing lily in the halls and followed you.

he wasn’t yours but he sure did act like it, he acted like a boyfriend. he didn’t look at any girls, he declined any girl who went up to him. as did you with anyone.

so maybe you didn’t have any right to be upset or angry, remus noticed your solemn looks when he started to talk to lily again and he understood. it got worse when james went on with his poems he spoke to lily at breakfast or what he used to do. he continued it after making you think you had him.

as your mind started to get tired of overthinking, your eyelids started to droop as you found yourself to sleep.

the next day you woke up to the room being empty and to you being late. of course, you thought. getting ready quickly and sprinting to first class, you walked into class quietly apologizing for being late and making your way to your seat by remus.

he took a look at you as you got out your things, he saw the bags underneath your eyes darker and the sad look in your eyes— sadder. “love, you alright?” he questioned you as you started to look at his book to see what page he was on. humming out softly in an answer, he knew you weren’t.

remus looked over his shoulder where james and lily sat diagonally from the two of you. he saw lily laughing at something the boy has said, you heard her laugh making you turn around to see james smiling at her as she laughed at something he said.

he felt eyes on him and turned to see you and remus staring at him, you quickly turned around a looked back at your blank paper. remus continued to look at him, his stare turned into a glare causing james to frown in confusion. remus loved the potter boy dearly but gods could he be so blind sometimes. he shook his head as he turned back to you beginning to help you with the work.

every time james or lily laughed you sighed, you felt horrible about it. lily was lovely, she was everything you weren’t. maybe that’s why james couldn’t keep his eyes on you for more than a week.

after class was over you went on with your day, you didn’t speak or raise your hand. lucky for you, james picked to sit by lily in the last class which made you even more upset.

so upset, you made your way to the dorms after class missing time to hangout with your friends, they figured you didn’t feel well or had work to do. remus didn’t, but he knew you needed space. in truth, you just wanted someone to tell you james liked you like he said he did and you weren’t wrong for feeling this way.

but you laid in bed until dinner came, you didn’t go. as you sat up from laying down almost all day seeing that the sun was gone and the moonlight brought light into your room.

you changed into your pajamas after a shower, by the time you got out james started to worry about you when you didn’t arrive at dinner. remus tried to tell him that you just needed space but he continued to ditch dinner and find you.

it was easy, your dorm was the first place he looked. he stopped in the doorway seeing you sitting on your bed staring out the window with you back faced towards him. he noticed your hair was wet and you were in more comfortable clothes.

“hey, love.” he spoke quietly as he walked into the room shutting the door, you didn’t move, not even a flinch as he sat on the bed. he started to worry more.

“everything alright?” he looked at the side of your face from beside you, you had a permanent frown on your face. you nodded your head with a soft ‘no.’ james moved himself to face your way when he hard that, “what’s wrong, love? are you ill?” you shut your eyes tightly as he spoke, could he even be more blind from his own actions?

“no, james. i am not sick. i’m—“ cutting yourself off with a sigh as you stood up, he watched your every move as you started to pick at your fingers then running your fingers through your hair turning your back to him. james stood up when you did making you face him with his hand, you moved it away from you.

“do you still.. like her?” you spoke the last two words softly, james took a step back out of shock at your question.

“no! i like you, i’ve told you that so many time. lily isn’t who i want anymore. you are!” he got defensive quickly which is what made you know.

“you don’t like me more than you like her, james. i watched you since first year chase her, make yourself believe she is who you will love and she will love you. that lily is your one and only—“

“yes i know i said that. but that’s not how i feel anymore, i love you.” james took a step closer to you, you stayed as he looked down into your teary eyes.

“yes, you love me, okay? but you love her still! you love her more and that’s okay, james. it’s fine.” you told yourself that all day but in truth it wasn’t because you loved him so much. “just— i will not be a second choice when lily turns you down once again and you drown yourself in your own sadness believing that lily’s in denial.” using your arms to exaggerate your words, james frowns as his emotions get the best of him as his eyes start to fill with tears.

“love, that’s not true. you’re not second choice to me!” his voice got louder as he spoke, his words didn’t mean anything because his actions show otherwise.

you stood in front of him in silence trying to find the right things to say, your tears rolled down your cheeks silently.

“but i am,” you nodded your head, “i am, james. it’s okay that you love her. i just want you to be happy, i wish to see you fall in love, have a family. as much i wish that could be me. i don’t want you looking back at this moment and realize i was right— you want her, you want to keep chasing her until she realizes that you are the one she wants.” james shook his head as he spoke taking a step back from you.

“nothing i can say make you know, can there?” he questioned you, all you could do was nod. he looked down at his feet where he swayed on his heels. he didn’t say anymore before he left the room leaving the door open. james made his way down to the common room forgetting that he was crying, sirius saw him first immediately asking what happened.

he wiped his eyes as he sat down at the single chair, beginning to explain. remus listened to him, of course he felt bad for his friend but no one was up in your room comforting you as sirius did him.

he excused himself as he made his way up to the girls room, he didn’t see you at first but he heard the cries from beside your bed. remus walked around your bed to find you, knees bent against your chest as you held your head in your hands as you cried.

he leaned in front of you putting his hands on your knees, he lightly tapped against them.

you sniffled before you lifted your head, remus frowned as he saw your red face and your eyes filled with tears that won’t stop falling.

“rem.” you whispered softly, he didn’t say anything as he moved your knees so he could grab you, he moved you onto your bed pulling you into a tight hug.

he stayed with you all night ignoring the questioning looks from the girls, yet mary looked at lily before they moved on with their nights. remus pulled your curtains shut as the girls laid in their beds.

“everything will be alright, sweets.” he spoke to you calling the nickname he called you since he’s known you making you laugh. it came from first year when he found you on the train stuffing your mouth with sweets, he learned later that it was something you did when you were nervous.

“thank you, moony.” whispering to him as you made yourself comfortable beside him.

[lady-ashfade]

I wanna a slice of blueberry pie with Yandere class 1a!

Barks And Chains

´*: ･ﾟ⋆˒ Yandere!Class 1A x Male!Werewolf reader.

Bakery Event

╰･ﾟ✧☽ words: 1k

╰･ﾟ✧☽ warnings: yandere, kidnapping, chains, being talked down to kinda, being seen as weak, reader has wolf tendencies, kinda hate this one.

˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚🫐 ˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ ˚ ‧₊ .:･˚₊ *˚

There was always something about the people around you that made your sense go off. They always seemed to be looking at you when they thought you weren’t looking, or how you smelled their scent randomly when they ‘weren’t’ around. What was the most frustrating was them pretending like you were the weakest of them all- including your teachers.

No matter how hard they tried to sucker you up and seem like they were your friends, it didn’t seem right to you.

“Want the steak from my plate.” They would offer you because wolfs are supposed to eat meat or whatever. Or they would would try and play with the furry ears you tried to hide. And don’t get me wrong at first you loved your classmates but they are so overprotective sometimes.

You mostly stuck around shoto who wasn’t as bad but still had his odd ways like the rest. Just more shy or quiet. “Does it hurt when you shift?” he asked blankly out of the blue in the middle of lunch. His face in the same expression as always and mellowed voice. Shoto asks questions about your quirk or yourself after minutes of not talking. You didn’t mind that much, at least he didn’t shout at you.

Sighing you drop the fork and decide to answer, “No, not really. My body is used to it but at first it did ache a bit but not anymore.” He listens and nodded his head softly and once your done goes back to eating like nothing ever happened. And that’s why you love sitting with shoto alone. 

They are tolerable enough. Except when katsuki yells at you too long or calles you names like “mutt” or “furry bitch”, and then when the girls squeal over your wolf shape and pet you.

Until they put you down in class training.

“He’ll just getting himself hurt! He isn’t going to win against most of us.” The while class agreed with each other like you were standing with them, all saying how you didn’t stand a chance. And the teachers allowed it!!

Your routine changes after and you aren’t given as much training time. You stay with Aizawa when they are out, they give you less homework and give you extra points. The day you finally snapped was when they started to dot on you like you couldn’t do anything!

“Don’t worry, we can help!” They always came rushing to your side. For instance they tied your shoes even if you try and kick them off, fix your clothes and even iida and Momo would force you to do homework with them.

You were a chill person for most of your life because you learned that you had tendencies of wolfs. You were angry but learned to control it. But when you snapped and things started to change around you.

For the first time they heard you actually growl at them in both forms, if someone tried to go up to you when it was unwanted you would give them a horrifying glare and bare your pointy teeth. If someone tries to touch you without your consent you would snapped your teeth at them. Not to mention how much you started to get more angry about everything.

And this wouldn’t do! They thought something was the wrong with you, and it wasn’t them of course. The teachers agreed that you were getting out of hand and tried to talk to you about it, or calm you down. When Aizawa used his quirk on you when you got mad, everyone thought you would go back to normal, but you didn’t and yelled or hit something.

“Please don’t move,” a voice spoke to you as your eyes tried to un blur themselves as you woke up. Your arms felt tensed and stiff, and that’s when you realized something cold on your wrist. “Poor thing, they should have gone easy on you.” A pair of white tights was all you could make out at first and as you slowly looked up you saw purple.

Midnight was standing above you.

You quickly wake up and notice your surroundings and what position you are in. You seemed to be in your room, except the light was a different shade and there was no windows or balcony. And you laid down on the bed with chains around your wrists, and a quirk collar around your neck.

“What is going on? Let me go!” You shouted but she was unaffected by it.

“I will once you calm down. You can shout all you like but no one will find you here, we all just want you to be safe from the evil. And you simply can’t defend yourself against villains. So we moved you here! To a underground apartment and only we can get in or out.”

She was right about that. You tried once but the quirk collar shocked you and made you stay within the apartment boundaries. It was like a normal apartment. You had everything you normally do, a phone and tv, computers and consoles but they were programmed to never contact anyone that wasn’t them so you had no way of escaping.

Everyone come to visit and had a schedule of when they get to see you. Most come in pairs, sometimes the bakusquad comes together, or dekusquad. No matter the pairing they loving handing out with you. Then there are the teachers and they just chill, Aizawa likes to watch movies, Mike likes to play games or teach you instruments, midnight just pats your head and do anything you want to! Of course they homeschool you too! So you still have homework but they don’t hold it against you if you get anything wrong.

“Reporting live, the missing student from UA Highschool, Y/n L/n, has been found and identified as dead on scene. We mourn the loss of that child and have the family in our hearts. The teachers would like to speak out on this topic,” you watch from the couch and feel weird seeing and hearing about your “death” and how sad Aizawa looks while he talks about how sad he is to have you truly gone. Everyone looked like they actually had been crying and that meant one thing…

It was going to be torture when they come to visit again.

[andy-wm]

Andy, I dont think JM is queer, coz in WHO he is singing about a her, not a they.

She/her pronouns leave no scope for ambiguity.

Anon, that's like me saying 'Anonymous' must be your real name because that's who the ask came from.

Makes sense?

No.

No it does not.

If the pronouns were THEY, Jimin would be

a) slammed for being woke

and

b) not clearly telling you that he lives in a society that makes him think his love MUST be a she/her. And he can't find love, he can't find it anywhere.

If he had grown up thinking he could find love with (he/she/they... any pronouns) don't you think he would have found it by now? I mean, look at him, he's so beautiful and kind and smart. How could he not find someone?

Would he be singing songs about how he can't find love?

The way he specifically says HER tells you THAT'S WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES.

Please, Anon (not your real name, yeah?)

Please, for your future self, for you to navigate the information you encounter every day, don't just grab the first thing you see and run with it. Sure, consider your immediate reaction, but also consider what else might be happening.

Because theres always more than one way to look at a situation.

(Thats why we have a jury of 12 and courts of law, and we don't just let people claim revenge for perceived wrongs by vigilante justice. Because there's two sides to a story, and you need different perspecives to see all the angles.)

Critical thinking skills are important because often messages are hidden.

Sometimes it's because the author wants you to misunderstand at first, because their real meaning will have more impact when you discover it later.

Sometimes there are two different messages directed at two different types of audience (like kids movies with adult jokes hidden in them)

Sometimes it's because they actually cannot say what they really want to say because they aren't allowed to or because it'snot safe or because they simply don't want to be upfront.

In the case of this song, it's all three of those reasons.

Context clues tell us that this album is very queer themed. There are rainbows and smeraldo flowers everywhere.

Smeraldo flowers LITERALLY mean a hidden truth/ truth untold/ I couldn’t tell the truth.

The original posts about Smeraldo flowers are translated here:

You'll find this here: https://cafearmy.wordpress.com/category/flower-smeraldo-blog-post-translations/page/2

There are also clues in the WHO music video - the extended metaphor of the weather, and the rainbows and colour flares. These tell us THERE'S MORE GOING ON HERE.

Read the lyrics and also watch the mv and think about what you are hearing and seeing.

Follow the story and think about WHY everything is happening the way it happens.

The director didn't just randomly yell "ok dance! Now run a bit, now look at the camera, now sing!"

There's a plan. The plan is based on a story they're telling. The story has an ending that THEY ALREADY KNOW, but that we don't.

Until we've seen the whole thing and thought about it, and then gone back to see what we missed the first time around, we dont know.

Like Spring Day isn’t REALLY about the seasons, and Bapsae isnt about birds, and The Truth Untold isn't about growing flowers.

Go back and watch the MV with the audio muted and think about the story thr MV tells without the music.

Read the lyrics as though you are reading a poem.

Genuinely, i care about this (i am a school librarian Anon, i wouldn’t be one if i didn't care about how people interact with information) so listen and think about it.

Then come back and tell me if you still think he's not queer because the pronouns in this song are she.

Borahae ���

[footballxixstars]

Introduction Of New Sibling • Ben Chilwell

Child/Parent Prompt List v.2 • Number 2

“I wonder how our son/daughter will react to us bringing home their new baby brother/sister.”

“I wonder how our daughter will react to us bringing home her new baby brother” Ben randomly spoke as the two of you drove home from the hospital. Well Ben was driving and you were sitting in the back with your newborn son in his car seat making sure that he was alright throughout the whole drive. How your daughter will react to the two of you bringing home her new sibling was something that the two of you had been thinking about and discussing for a while but now it’s actually going to happen. Your daughter is going to meet her baby brother. You’ve tried a lot to make her feel included and make her have some sort of bond with him although he wasn’t born yet. You’ve even brought a present for your daughter to have from her younger brother but still what if she still hates him? It was a constant fear that ran through you throughout your whole pregnancy and now after 9 long months you were going to be faced with the actual possibility of this.

Since your daughter found out that she was going to be a big sister she always said that she wanted a little sister and it could be because she was going through the boys are gross stage and hates being around any boys except her dad. She’s even called some of Ben’s teammates gross, ones she used to absolutely adore, much to your amusement. Anyway, she really wanted a little sister and you knew this but now you were bringing home a little boy and you were hoping that she would be okay with a brother. It was making you feel all angsty and you were trying not to dwell on it at all but it’s all you can think about. Maybe you should’ve found out the baby’s gender before giving birth to him as it would’ve been better for your daughter. A bit too late now.

To make this whole thing potentially worse your daughter doesn’t even know that you’ve gone to the hospital to have the baby which can go one of two ways. Seriously though, you put your daughter to bed at her normal bedtime and sometime after she went to bed your water broke. You had been having slight contractions during the day but just thought it could be Braxton Hicks so ignored it to look after your child but once your water broke you could no longer ignore it and you and Ben went to the hospital to have this baby. Well you went to the hospital after his mum arrived to watch your daughter. She was the closest family member so was able to make it to the both of you relatively quickly so you could make it to the hospital and have the baby there which you ended up doing. Thankfully the actual labour didn’t last long and at 11:54 pm that same night you had your son in your arms and Ben was next to you running his finger over your son's cheek. The doctors and midwives checked both you and your son over time and time again making sure that everything was fine and your son was feeding fine and you and Ben knew what you were doing (of course you did it was your second child) and a few hours later both you and your son were released and you could all go back to the comfort of your home. Back to see your daughter and introduce her to the newest addition to the household. So basically whilst your daughter was asleep you had a baby and he would be there back at the house before she woke up. Would that make it easier or harder for her?

“Hopefully well,” You choked up. The closer Ben was getting to your home the more nervous you were getting over it all and all you could do was busy yourself by looking at your son. As you said that Ben took a quick glance in the mirror and he saw you frowning but since he was driving there was nothing he could really do to reassure you apart from words.

“She’ll be fine. She loves the babies that our friends and family have had and she’s great with them so I’m sure she’ll love her little brother. Plus I believe the present will help massively,” Ben tried to reassure you, also chuckling at the thought of how your daughter was going to react to the present. She wasn’t exactly spoiled but she does love presents and probably gets them a lot more than other children but nonetheless, she always gets excited for them. You just let out a hum showing Ben that you were listening yet you didn’t say anything back. He didn’t even try to make conversation back to you just focusing on the road allowing you to get lost in your thoughts once again.

There are several videos all over the internet of older siblings meeting their newborn siblings and there's always a different reaction. You’ve watched several ones where the older siblings scream and throw all kinds of tantrums over it and try to find ways to get rid of their siblings. The way they question if the baby is staying behind or staying with grandparents or something along those lines and it would break your heart. Of course, there are other videos where the oldest absolutely adores the new baby and will love and cherish them and do everything they can to help but those videos showed you that it can go either way and that was a terrifying thought.

“We’re home,” Ben softly said when he pulled up outside of the house and that’s what knocked you out of your thoughts. Guess you don’t have to wait much longer to find out what the outcome will be.

Slowly you got yourself out of the car with Ben’s help and then Ben ran over to get your son out of the car whilst you walked over to the front door to unlock it. It was thankfully silent in the house meaning your daughter was still asleep like she should be and you were guessing that your mother-in-law was also asleep now but in the guest bedroom. Walking through the door the tiredness of it all suddenly hit you and you decided to just lie on the sofa trusting Ben to deal with your son. No words were exchanged as Ben put your son in this little cot that you had set up downstairs ready for when the new baby arrived just so you wouldn’t have to carry them upstairs every single time (plus your daughter was loving it too). With your eyes half closed you watched as Ben grabbed a blanket and put it around you before climbing in behind and cuddling you close. He made sure to be careful but still held you close as the two of you attempted to get some more sleep considering you’ve barely had any in the last 24 hours so any amount of sleep will help you.

A couple of hours later, not even that, you and Ben were awake once again feeding your son when you heard little footsteps from above. From the footsteps you could tell that it was your daughter walking around and that she had just gone into your bedroom so any minute now she will make her way downstairs. The nerves of your daughter meeting her new brother were really kicking in now but you just took some deep breaths whilst watching your son, burping your son and waited for your daughter to make her way down to you.

“And little miss is awake. Time for her to meet her little brother,” Ben chuckled wrapping one arm around you just for a bit of comfort knowing how anxious you were getting over this once again. Just as he uttered those words you saw two little legs walking down the stairs holding onto the bannister with one hand whilst the other was holding onto her most precious teddy. Once she was at the bottom of the stairs she just stood there staring for a couple of seconds and you and Ben just watched.

“Baby,” Your daughter said softly pointing to the baby that was nestled safely in your arms.

“Yeah, baby. This is your baby brother. Come and meet him,” Ben said standing up to carry her over to the two of you and also giving her a cuddle and kiss whilst asking how she slept (not like she answered him though or responded to his actions too busy staring at the little baby in your arms). For a moment she just stared at him not saying a word for a minute but you were guessing that she was processing the whole thing. After all, when she went to sleep the baby wasn’t here and now she’s awake the baby is here. It’s a lot to take in, especially for a young child.

“Hi baby,” Your daughter eventually spoke again.

“Baby no tummy,” She then said taking a look at your tummy which was still prominent not as prominent but still prominent (no tummies don’t go flat after giving birth no matter what gets shown in the movies) but obviously there was no baby in there any longer.

“No the baby is no longer in my tummy,” You told her softly kissing her forehead. Ben covered her so she could actually hold the baby obviously with his support. As soon as he was placed in her arms her eyes got all wide and she allowed one of her hands to land on his face being really careful and just running her hand over his face (with you and Ben watching obviously). She wouldn’t take her eyes off of him for a minute. It was honestly the longest that she had sat still forever and she wasn’t even talking just staring. Eventually you pulled the baby away from her, he was starting to get fussy, but still her eyes were on him in complete awe.

“Your baby brother got you something,” Ben told her but your daughter didn’t even take a glance at him too entranced by your newborn son. She didn’t care about the present, she was too busy showing him and babbling to him about her teddy which reminds you, you need to buy him some sort of teddy. Maybe your daughter can get him one? That's a conversation for another time though, when you’ve recovered a bit.

“Maybe we had nothing to worry about,” You chuckled just watching your daughter interact with your son wanting to take this all in. This little family moment as just the 4 of you. Little did you know that Ben’s mother was sitting on the stairs allowing you this moment together but also taking photos knowing that you would appreciate it later.

MASTERLIST | MORE CHILWELL

[misc-obeyme]

I'M ALIVE (BARELY) !! Work is kicking my ass. Also, lots of things went wrong for me this morning, but they all worked out in the end ?? Like I forgot to set my alarm, had to bring my mom's phone to her job bc she forgot it, my bus ended up running late because the doors would get stuck at stops. But I woke up on time, caught the bus after taking the phone, and made it early to work because the bus forgot to take the detour? My luck is insane (thanks Mammon.)

ANYWAY, i can no longer contain my thoughts about Mammon x Solomon x Mc. I'm just imagining my mc and Solomon who are both very curious, and love messing around with potions at purgatory hall, and finding alternatives to rare ingredients. This has definitely gone wrong a bunch of times (most days without a potion incident: 4)

and I'm imagining Mammon tagging along bc he misses mc and is jealous that Sol is taking up their time, but denies all claims - "I'm assigned to protect ya, ain't I?" "From Solomon?" "W-Well, he's a shady sorcerer!"

He sits on the floor by mc's feet, and will fetch them things because he can't say no to them. But he spends so much time listening to them brainstorm, he starts learning and will chime in randomly. Mc and Sol who are stuck on what to add, Mammon drops something in there, and they're both horrified until they realize the potion is perfect now. He just has a little database in his mind of what to add to something, and rare ingredients that the two wish they could get their hands on.

Thinking about Mammon doing a favor for a witch and she tells him to pick anything in her collection since she's low on money. He was about to be angry when he saw an ingredient that they've both been complaining is rare and hard to find. He asks the witch for that and then brings it to the two. He acts all nonchalant about it, trying to brush it off. Mc tackles him, meanwhile Solomon is in awe and staring with a twinkle in his eye.

Now Mammon starts requesting trades with witches, for a lower portion of grimm. Gets ingredients he knows they dream about, because the way mc and sol will get all giddy after he presents them with his earnings makes his stomach flip (he will never admit this)

"This is missing something" Solomon

"Yeah but I can't figure out what" MC

"Have you tried *insert seemingly common ingredient that doesn't work for most things*" Mammon

"But no one uses that, it's why we're always stuck with it" MC

"Couldn't hurt to try. See, watch." Mammon.

"WAIT, MAMMON DON'T- ... IT WORKED!?" Mc/Sol

----

"MAMMON HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THIS, IT ONLY BLOOMS ONCE EVERY 100 YEARS" mc

"Dunno, got it from a random witch. Said she didn't need it. *spent two hours haggling with said witch*"

"...am I in love?" Solomon, reevaluating life

"Eh? What are ya mumbling about? If you're gonna thank me, I want it loud and clear!"

my crack ship <3 they mean everything to me. I caved and hunted down the plushies of them on ebay too. ALSO I GOT TWO OF MY COMMISSIONS BACK AND I'M 😭 they're perfect !!! I'm so so happy with them. Literally the lock screen is beautiful bc it's me and mammon cuddling (HIS MUSCLES CC!! IM DYING) and it looks like it was taken by like asmo or something who walked in to wake us up.

i think I'm also a hopeless romantic, I'm just scared of confronting my feelings lol (you're right in that it is worth it, I just need to figure out how to be brave </3). I throw myself into romance books and fanfics. Vaguely related, thinking about coffee shop au with barista!Mammon and college student!Solomon.

OKAY SORRY IM DONE RAMBLING 😭 HAVE A GOOD DAYYYY

- ✨ anon

Wow that does sound like a crazy morning!! I'm glad it all worked out, though~ Mammon is totally watching out for you!

OKAY but all of that sounds exactly like Mammon! I mean, he's super smart, he just doesn't usually bother to apply himself to anything. So it totally makes sense that he'd just pick up things because he's spending time with MC and Solomon. And then of course he's gonna end up seeing rare ingredients and being like, okay yeah I'm taking that. That all sounds absolutely adorable~

I'm curious about whether or not Solomon and Mammon would make a pact in this situation? I mean, if it's both of them and your MC that are in the relationship, do you think they would? Do you think Solomon would move past his obsession with getting a pact with Lucifer and end up in one with Mammon instead?

I always felt like Solomon doesn't really get Mammon, you know? But that doesn't mean he can't learn. And oh man, Solomon is such a tease and Mammon is so not good at being teased lol. That idea is giving me so many entertaining images, I can't even handle it.

Anyway, I'm totally here for it! It sounds really cute~

I'm so glad you're happy with your comms!!! They sound amazing!

And don't worry, you'll figure it out. I don't know how old you are, but I suspect you have plenty of time! It's a balancing act, you know? It's important to be honest with yourself about your feelings without letting them control you. But it's easier to decide what to do about them if you know what they are. Anyway, not to get all philosophical over here lol. I think the key is to find someone you want to be brave for, you know?

AUGH I love coffee shop aus sooooooo much!!! I was very obsessed with the idea of barista!Mammon for a while, mostly because of a daily chat where he was working at a cafe and then got into a fight with customer. He's good at finances, so I think he could be pretty business minded if he wanted to be. So I was thinking about a situation where he owns his own cafe, but when the customers get rude with one of his fellow baristas, he gets into a fight with them lol. I hadn't really considered who that other barista was, but it could be MC.

Anyway, I could ramble about coffee shop aus all day because I love them aklsdlkfjdfjkl

I hope you have a lovely day/night, too!!

[goatlottin]

rekindled

in which you get into your first big fight.

genre: angst (happy ending tho!)

pairing: kylian mbappé x reader

warnings: hints of pregnancy 🙊

a/n: this is lowkey so messy but I just love angst I got randomly so inspired to write this. Also! This was heavily inspired by judeswhore work ( i cannot remember which piece it was Im sorry😭😭)

It had been a couple days since you’ve seen Kylian. I mean, someone could tell you it’s been 3 months instead of days and you probably could’ve believed them. You didn’t know where it went wrong. One hour you were at your favourite restaurant, and you were thinking about how lucky you were to be with them. The next, screaming began. And the last, you had found yourself standing alone in your previously shared bedroom.

You genuinely couldn’t remember how the argument arose. You thought he was being incredibly unfair. All you had said was you were glad you were finally doing this, considering the crazy hours he works away from you.

You wake up in the morning, he was already out for training. You ran errands, he was either at a meeting or preparing for the said match. You got ready for bed, you got the daily text “don’t wait up for me. It’ll be awhile love. Goodnight.”

It was becoming a very unlikable routine, one you clearly didn’t like, but he had ignored your pleas. Once in awhile, you brought it up, but he shut you down with a small “I know, I know. I’ll try to be here more,” and a small kiss to your forehead. But it had never gotten to the point where you haven’t spoken in hours, let alone the 78 (and counting).

You checked your phone every now and then, hoping for a text from him. But were met with nothing new, except the last text he sent that night.

I’m staying with a friend tonight. Don’t worry about me

The tonight had implied that you most likely would’ve seen him the following morning. To your dismay, you still haven’t.

You woke up this morning feeling incredibly sick for the nth time in a row. There was this small feeling in the back of your mind, you couldn’t dare to say it aloud. But the morning sickness, the mood swings and the endless saga of tiredness would explain a lot with this conclusion.

You ended up stopping by a local CVS on your way from work, putting it to the back of your mind once again.

You had gotten home after a horrible day at work. Everything had gone wrong, everything. The traffic was terrible which resulted in you being late. Your boss was actually in today, so he was really pissed. You still had piles of work coming home. And then of course, that final reminder that you would come to an empty house.

You also had taken that test sometime around lunch. And there it was. Coming at the best possible timing, you were pregnant.

You had gotten so overwhelmed you started to tear up on the way home. Your eyes felt so blurry you had to remind yourself your literally driving.

Before driving in your neighborhood, you made sure that you wiped to your tears to look mostly composed. You didn’t want to risk seeing someone you knew and having to explain how dramatic you felt you were currently.

You had barely gotten the keys in, before you were met with the man yourself. Kylian was waiting for you with a bouquet of flowers and probably the saddest face you had seen on him. You both stared at each other for a second. The tension was very thick, you felt you would cut it if you even moved.

You walked past him into the living room, placing your things on the lampside table.

You heard his footsteps come up from behind you, “I know you don’t wanna talk but..” the hurt in his voice was so evident. Little did you know, this was hurting him too. As you were, he expected a text from you first as well.

You had made the mistake of sniffling, which on instinct enabled him to drop the flowers and come up from behind you. He put his hands on your shoulders, which immediately made you tense up.

“Baby, have you been crying?” The sound of his voice so close to you made you shudder and wanna cry even harder. He had forced you to look towards you, and his heart might’ve just about broke.

Your mascara had begin to droop, and the concealer you used today had done little to hide the eyebags you had as a result of the lack of sleep. Your hair had stuck to your face from the sweat, while the rest had been pulled into a very, very messy bun.

He had never seen you like this, at least not because of him.

“Oh my God, my girl..” his voice faded as he pulled you into his chest, cradling your head into him like you were so fragile he was scared you would crumble right in front of him.

“Hon, I’m really so sorry. I’ve missed you so much these past few days.”

You just nodded, you honestly didn’t want to replay the reason for your fight. Instead, you wanted to live in the here and now just of Kylian beside you. You knew you had stained his shirt, but it hadn’t even bothered you at this point.

At some point, he had taken you to your bedroom, which you can assume had turned into garbage. Your products were everywhere. Clothes were discarded randomly. The bed wasn’t even made. But he laid you down, and you felt him cuddle back into you maybe an hour later.

Before actually waking up, you closed your eyes just for a bit longer. You hadn’t wanted to wake up to an empty bed per usual. You wanted to feel him with you selfishly for a little longer.

He had decided to wake you up first a little while later. “You awake yet?” He gave you a small smile, in which you reciprocated in the best way you could, him understanding you were still hurting somewhat.

“I’m awake.” You looked around the room to find it spotless. Well, spotless was a stretch. But it had looked way better than how it did last night. You noticed your makeup remover was on the closest beside table, where you assumed he had taken off your previous makeup.

He cradled your face once again, “I promise you, I will be here from now on.”

“Just like you said last time,” You muttered it, but you know he heard it. Saying he was not even a ruler away from you.

“I know I did, but I mean it this time, hon, I do. I never wanna fight like that again. It broke me seeing you like that, you know? And I would give absolutely anything to not have to again.”

“If you let me, I wanna show you that I’m ready to be present. For both of you.”

He had placed a hand on your stomach.

“How did you find out?”

“I saw the box in your bag,” you remembered putting the test in some toilet paper and placing it back in the box, to discard in your bag. You hadn’t wanted your co-workers to start their speculation if they found out someone was pregnant. “Look at me,”

He brought your attention back to his face with a tilt by his fingers. “I’m gonna love this baby so much. And I will be here. Will you give me your trust again?”

The way you fall at his words genuinely needs to be studied.

You gave him his answer by delicately grabbing his face and smashing it with yours. The kiss was slow, and savouring. You both didn’t wanna let go. He kept you steady with his index and middle finger right under your chin, both of you deepening the kiss.

Once you had both let go, he gave you a smile that didn’t need words to describe what he was thinking I’m so grateful for you.

[marvelthottie]

New Rules - Part 2

pairing: Steven Grant x Black Reader, Marc Spector x Black Reader, Jake Lockley x Black Reader

rating: explicit(18+ mdni)

summary: Was at work listening to New Rules by Dua Lipa and it fits the MoonBoys

warnings: none

One: Don't pick up the phone

You know he's only callin' 'cause he's drunk and alone

Two: Don't let him in, you'll have to kick him out again

Three: Don't be his friend

You know you're gonna wake up in his bed in the mornin'

You woke up to a buzzing sound, which you found to be your phone. You checked the time on your bedside clock: 2:49. The vibrating abruptly ended but flashed again, as whoever it was calling again.

“Marc - Don’t Answer,” the contact read; you sighed, knowing he would keep calling.

You know what he wanted, for him to come over, to try to gloss over everything that happened. It's been a week since you and the trio broke up. Steven was giving you your space, Jake was eerily quiet, and Marc randomly called, leaving drunk messages. Some were him pleading for you to give them another chance, some of him angry, hissing how you promised you’d never leave him but did, and others were the day after apologizing for his previous messages. Getting texts asking to meet for lunch to apologize. You never did, knowing nothing good could come from it, so you left the messages unread and phone calls unanswered.

Tonight was different; maybe it was because you’d been drowning in ice cream and hallmark movies, wishing for your fairytale romance, expecting things to be different. Missing Steven’s tales of how his day went, soft Spanish music playing from the radio while Jake made you breakfast, or Marc watching movies with you til you could barely keep your eyes open.

You answered, not speaking immediately but listening. Hearing Marc’s ragged voice, quiet music playing in the background.

“Hello,” he said.

“Hey,” you whispered back.

“Didn’t expect an answer; I thought I was going to get your voicemail again. I missed your voice”, he laughed, then sighed, “I missed you; I’m sorry I did this to us.”

“It wasn’t just you, Marc,” you couldn’t help but reassure him; you knew how Marc spirals, blaming himself for anything that has gone wrong. “It was all of you, the lying, the missed dates, the disappearing, all without explanation.”

He sighed again, “What can I say to make this better, to fix us?”

You sat up, back to the headboard, knees pulled to your chest. You wanted answers, and you wanted this gap in your heart to go away.

“Where did you go?”, You knew he knew what you were asking about. They disappeared for a week, missing your promotion dinner; it was their chance to meet your parents and friends. You were left with a sour taste when you had to excuse him, claiming he was sick. You decided that was it for you, no more excuses, no more lying to your friends and yourself that everything was okay. When they came back, knocking on your door, you opened it to Steven. Sweet Steven holding your favorite flowers, a congratulations card, and a bottle of wine. It hurt you to see that beautiful smile drop and watch him curl until himself as you told him it was over.

“Cairo,” you were surprised, he answered, maybe it was whatever and however much he drank, slipping answers out of him.

“Why?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why can’t you tell me?”

“I can’t tell you that either..”

“So you can’t tell me why you can’t tell me, is that correct, Marc?”, you were frustrated, and the previous anger from that night returned.

“Y/N,” he says, but that is all; Marc tight-lipped as ever.

You sighed, “Goodbye, Marc,” hanging up as he rushed to call your name. You cut your phone off, vowing never to broke Rule 1 again, promising never to answer for them again.

[robybyn]

Beware, this is a very, very, very scary story with a scary thing that will give you nightmares. If you haven't heard of it, it's the michael pikmin story. here it goes (beware)

I've always been a big pikmin fan, so imagine my surprise when i randomly came across a gamecube and pikmin 2 for aforementioned gamecube at a garage sale in Louisiana it was an immediate buy, my unwashed sweaty fingers swiftly reached for my pikmin themed wallet as i handed $42 to the garage sale man (a steal!!!). Obviously, I rushed home, plugged my cubed console into my wall, and tv then threw the blessed pikmin 2 into said gamecube, I sat my 32 year old ass onto the couch in my bitch mothers basement as i waited for pimkin 2 to load. and then there it was. the theme to pikmin 2 started playing... although it sounded a little slower than what i remembered... and a little lower in pitch, but I brushed it off as it was probably just me remembering it wrong, and I started playing the game!

Two hours into the game and one hour away after my stupid mother made me dinner with no fucking chicken nuggets (god I hate her) I came back and unpaused the game to see an untextured pikmin in the distance "that's weird" i thought, "probably just a bug tho" i said outloud to nobody but my olimar body pillow. I made olimar walk to the untextured pikmin so i could figure out what type it was and... upon closer inspection... the pikmins eyes was bleeding and looked voidesc. Seeing this creeped me, and I was about to walk away until the untextured pikmin said in a brash voice.

"I am evil pikmin. I do evil to all"

I gasped at the TV. what? "pikmin can't be evil" I thought but then the evil pikmin continued.

"I am evil pikmin, the true owner of this pikmin game is Billy Johnson. He died, and so now i must punish you for disturbing his resting place... MICHAEL"

Hearing the evil pikmin say my name made me piss myself in fear but not in a pathetic way, a cool way. I decided to unplug the gamecube and plug it back in, hoping it would fix everything... I was wrong.

the game loaded up, the theme music sounding even more ominous than before. when i tried to load the game, my save file was gone, so i punched the wall, prompting Mother to shout at me. i decided to start again, but this time, the evil pikmin was hiding in the cutscenes and around the levels, and when i turned Olimar around to face the camera... his eyes were red and bleeding!!!! I jumped out of my couch and evil pikmin showed up again. Olimar and evil pikmin got closer to the camera and started talking at the same time.

"MICHAEL YOU STOP PLAYING THIS PIKMIN RIGHT NOW"

Olimar shouting at me made me cry a little, but i stood my ground and shouted back at the tv "NO I'M PLAYING THIS GAME NO MATTER WHAT" inbaddass tone, oh how deeply I regret that! the evil pikmin shot olimar as I screamed "whyyyyyy" my bitch mother came down and started yelling until i heard another gunshot, the evil pikmin left the TV and killed her!!!! The evil pikmin was out of the TV and grabbed me by my receding hairline as he began to swing me over his head as if i was the pikmin i was so happily throwing around just an hour ago, he thew me into a wall knocking me unconscious, I thought i had died because he shot me too but months later I woke up from a coma after all the events. I was naive and thought the evil pikmin couldn't get me here... I was wrong. Dead wrong. The evil pikmin jumped from the ceiling like a licker from resident evil and started attacking my face beating me until i began to cry. finally, after my beating was over, the evil pikimin said

"One of these days Michael pikmin, I will kill you, I'm going to follow you around and enact my vengeance upon you every day until i get bored"

He let out an evil laugh. Michael pikimin? why did he call me that I thought until... I LOOKED DOWN AND MY BODY WAS SLOWLY TURNING INTO A PIKMIN I'M TYPING ALL OF THIS AS I TRANSFORM FURTHER INTO-

"pikmin"

Guys, I told you this story was terrifying... I hope you sleep well tonight.

[forever-eternal]

September, 1774

The day Congress and Assistant appear.

———————————————————————

Virginia had been the first person Pennsylvania thought to call when two 10-year-old children appeared in his home with no rhyme or reason. Their eyes were bright and they were smiling, swinging their legs back and forth on the bench, where he had woken up to find them.

It had ended with all 13 of them in his house, staring across his dining table at the children.

The boy had the same hair color Pennsylvania himself did, with bright green eyes– like the forests themselves– and pale skin. The girl had darker skin than the boy, with darker, curlier hair, eyes the color of an ocean storm. The boy had nothing over his waistcoat and trousers, the girl wore no shoes, and what clothes they did have were dirty and torn at the edges, smudges of dirt across their faces and under their nails. He’s sure he saw a twig or two in their hair as well. It was as if they were in the forest for years.

“Ya sure the door wasn’t unlocked?” New Jersey asked bitingly, eyes narrow and hands on his hip, and Pennsylvania knew he was feeling those ‘Jersey Mom’ instincts.

“‘M tellin’ ya J, doors and windows are all locked, and I rechecked them after I woke up. None of them were messed with.” he runs his hands through his hair in exasperation, “I don’t know how they got in!”

“Then let’s ask ‘em.” Virginia shrugs, taking a few steps to stand closer to the children. They stop just in front of the table, burning green eyes– the boy’s match– looking down on beaming, childish faces, “How’d you two get in ‘ere?”

The boy tilts his head, and the girls’ eyes flicker for half a second.

“We don’t know.” the boy says, unsure, blinking in surprise– as if the sound of his own voice was something he never heard before, “We woke up here.”

The girl nodded, “We know you.”

Their voices don’t have infection, sounding blank and empty. They sound young and yet so old.

“They look kinda blank, hon’,” Maryland whispers, leaning close to Pennsylvania’s shoulder, “They alright?”

“Yeah, I’m sure they are– but who are they?”

They turn to face him, and the boy holds his right hand to his heart- smile broadening. “I am Continental Congress,” he introduces himself, gesturing to the girl at his side, “This is Executive Assistant.”

The girl tilts her head in acknowledgment.

The Thirteen stare at them, and Virginia beams.

“That answers that question.” Georgia says as he rounds the table– his large stature absolutely dwarfing the children, and the Southern-most colony grins, “Awe, lookit, Ginia; he’s got yer eyes.” he rests a large hand on the boys tiny shoulder, “Same shade ‘n everything.”

Virginia bends down, taking a closer look, “S’ppose he does! And he’s got Penn’s hair and Mary’s skintone– Geo, he’s got yer face shape!”

“Boys’ got the good genes!” Mary laughs, hopping over to squeeze between the two southerners.

Before they know it, the 13 colonies are crowded around the children, prodding gently– Penn thinks he sees Jersey pluck a leaf from the girls dark brown hair– the same color as the Gardener’s own.

“They could learn to sit proper,” New Hampshire mumbles, hand to his chin in thought.

“They’ll need a good scrub.” North Carolina agrees, South nodding sagely, “Gotta get ‘em new clothes too– think any of the Cities old clothes will fit ‘em?”

New York grumbles something, “Nicky and Albany were about their size– I got some of those in storage. Gimme a minute.”

And he pops away.

Delaware crosses his arms with a furrowed brow.

“Connie– let’s go get some wata for ‘em. They’re filthy.”

Connecticut nods, and then they’re gone as well.

Pennsylvania stares at the two of them, before he sighs.

“I’m gonna guess the two of yous don’t know how ta bathe.”

The silent blink and wide eyes were all the answer he needed.

———————————————————————

Georgia and Jersey, with the most parental instincts for strange kids who randomly appeared in Penn’s house, were the ones given bath duty for the two rugrats. Which Jersey grumbled about, even as he carefully carried the tiny girl away.

And that left the rest of them to discussion.

“The boy’s Congress, yeah? So it makes the most sense for him to stay here with Penn.”

“Why?”

“Because the first congress was held here– do keep up, honey.”

“And what about the little lady?”

“She’s meant to be an Assistant, right? Means she has to get used to fast paced work, so she can go with New York.”

“Hey–”

“Ya have the city, don’t ya?”

“...”

“S’what I thought.”

“You and Jersey are helpin, Masshole!”

“Geo, Mary and I will help Penn, of course.”

“Then it’s settled. Meeting adjourned!”

———————————————————————

The first thing New York, Jersey, and Mass noticed about the girl suddenly placed under their care was that she was quiet. She follows behind them dutifully, nearly having to run to keep up with their fast pace and longer legs, until Mass just plucks her off her feet instead.

The fireplace is lit, and she sits in front of it as Jersey brandishes a comb, York and Mass sitting close by.

“Ya got a name other than Assistant?” Mass asks, “Cause, no offense, but I ain’t callin’ ya that while ya look like a kid. Especially not in public.”

“No.” Her voice is soft and gentle, warm like the fire that reflects in her blue eyes, “I don’t have another name.”

New York humps, settling down further onto the sofa as Jersey starts to braid the girl’s hair.

Not long after, New York guides her to a guest room– giving her an old night shirt that doesn’t fit any of his daughters.

He sees her gaze flick to the bed, a cautious confusion seeping into her expression; the first actual emotion he’d seen from her.

“What’s this?” she asks quietly, as he pulls down the comforter and settles her under the sheets.

He blinks.

“A bed? For sleeping?”

Recognition. Not of the object, but of the function.

“Oh… Thank you.”

He rolls his eyes, lips pursed– even they, as new Personifications, knew what a bed was.

“Welcome. Go to sleep.”

The candle is put out, and New York joins his lovers in their bed down the hall.

———————————————————————

Despite how new they were, Congress and Assistant made a well-ordered team, even despite the state of their actual Congress. They always seemed to know, just a step ahead of those around them, speaking without words and vanishing in the early night, only to reappear before sunrise with no explanation.

On those days they seemed at peace, smug about something they refused to say, but those days there were no British attacks, so they took the days free of battle that they could get without much complaint. Even if their parental instincts were in overdrive, New York, Mass, and New Jersey were aware that the girl was able to hold her own.

Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia and Georgia on the other hand…were more protective of the boy they claimed their son– for good reason, the boy constantly had a fever after all, weak with the state of their meager government.

The first few times it happened were frightening, though. The Northeasterners had grown to care for the girl placed under their care, and- by extension- the boy she was practically attached at the hip with.

York had given the girl a name, just as Pennsylvania gave Congress one.

Robin and Adam.

———————————————————————

The three of them wake up feeling that something is wrong.

Something had happened.

New Jersey had been the first to leap out of bed, sprinting down the hall.

“She’s not in bed!” is the yell they hear, Mass and York tearing themselves out from under the covers.

But, she was still in the house. Kneeling in a chair by the window and staring out into one of the trees in York’s backyard, little hands clutching the window sill.

“There are birds.” she whispers to them, not even turning to look, but they can hear the wonder in her voice and see the stars in her eyes, “Baby birds and a Momma bird.”

With their heart rates calming, not even able to utter a word, they join her at the window.

Robins, a mother bird and three babies, in a nest on one of the tree branches.

The girl’s little hand reaches out, blocked by the window, as if she could touch the bird’s feathers.

“They’re pretty.” she says, a simple wonder of the life out in nature coating her young voice.

The next morning she’s still in her room when they wake up, window open with four birds on her window sill. A momma robin and her three babies who just learned to fly.

New York calls her Robin. The name sticks.

———————————————————————

Wild birds never live long, but Jersey makes her a bird cage, and finds her two birds to keep.

Two abandoned, baby robins one of the neighbors had found.

Massachusetts helps her name them; Skye and Luna, and the smug satisfaction radiates from him for days.

They learn Pennsylvania got the boy, Congress- Adam-, a dog. A foxhound named Todd.

But when the thirteen of them get together, they can’t help but smile as their Cities, their children, grow more attached to the kids that have become their siblings.

Philly, especially, finds joy in lugging Adam around in the way only older brothers can- though Boston and NYC snarl at him whenever he tries to do the same to Robin, until the girl climbs onto the Pennsylvanian City’s shoulders herself.

It’s been a while since any of their cities have been young children.

It’s nice to hear that childish, hopeful laughter again.

[princeofgod-2021]

LIGHT OF LIFE 530

John 1:4

DIVINE ORDER 95: God Seekers 24

Eze 43:11 Suppose they are ashamed of everything that they have done. THEN SHOW THEM THE DESIGN OF THE TEMPLE, its arrangements, its exits and entrances-its entire design. TELL THEM ABOUT ALL ITS RULES AND REGULATIONS. THEN WRITE THESE THINGS DOWN for them so that they can REMEMBER ITS DESIGN AND FOLLOW ALL ITS RULES. GW

WORSHIP STRUCTURE 3

The Worship Structure that existed until the time of Moses’ Law was never consistent enough to keep Man in check and establish Righteousness.

The people of Adam, as varied from those of Cain, seemed to be close to God and seemed eager to seek God.

Gen 4:26 And a son was also born to Seth, whom he named Enosh. At that time people began to worship the LORD. NET

It soon became too obvious that whether some were despicable and far off (Gentiles) or they were acceptable and near (Jews), they were all Human and subject to the same woes.

Rom 3:9-12 Well then, ARE WE JEWS IN ANY BETTER CONDITION THAN THE GENTILES? NOT AT ALL! I HAVE ALREADY SHOWN THAT JEWS AND GENTILES ALIKE ARE ALL UNDER THE POWER OF SIN. As the Scriptures say: "THERE IS NO ONE WHO IS RIGHTEOUS, no one who is wise or who worships God. All have turned away from God; they have all gone wrong; no one does what is right, NOT EVEN ONE. GNB

Before Moses, people who knew God at all had no specific guide to how to worship and approach God. They just randomly offered thanksgiving offering, sacrifice or some praise gestures when they meet God.

Let’s check out Jacob’s worship when God met him.

Gen 28:16-18 Jacob woke up suddenly and thought, "The LORD is in this place, and I didn't even know it." Then Jacob became frightened and said, "This is a fearsome place! It must be the house of God and the ladder to heaven." When Jacob got up early the next morning, HE TOOK THE ROCK THAT HE HAD USED FOR A PILLOW AND STOOD IT UP FOR A PLACE OF WORSHIP. THEN HE POURED OLIVE OIL ON THE ROCK TO DEDICATE IT TO GOD, CEV

Do you know that until Moses’ law came, nobody ever offered sacrifices for SIN committed? Where did Abraham and Isaac - with all the Altars they built - ever offer sacrifices for their sins.

We all know that Abraham sinned with Haggai, right?

How could we deal with such a holy God and be carefree about how we bare our lives before Him.

Lev 19:2 Speak unto all the congregation of the children of Israel, and say unto them, YE SHALL BE HOLY: FOR I THE LORD YOUR GOD AM HOLY. KJV

But Man had knowledge of what SIN is. The first mention of that word was with Cain.

Gen 4:7 If you had done the right thing, you would be smiling; but because you have done evil, SIN IS CROUCHING AT YOUR DOOR. IT WANTS TO RULE YOU, BUT YOU MUST OVERCOME IT." GNB

We’ve said this before though: If Sin was known to be sin, then the Law must be acknowledged to have existed before Moses.

The main problem was documentation. Law is not Law until it is a Referral Material Engraved in solid prints.

Exo 32:15-16 Moses turned, and went down from the mountain, with the two tablets of the testimony in his hand; tablets that were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other they were written. THE TABLETS WERE THE WORK OF GOD, AND THE WRITING WAS THE WRITING OF GOD, ENGRAVED ON THE TABLETS. WEB

Why do you think Moses had to go up a Mountain to have the Law written?

To make strong point that it was done by God’s hand from heaven and not by man. Even in the New Testament, the Engrave of Divine LAW in our Hearts is ever emphasized.

Heb 8:10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel AFTER THOSE DAY, says the Lord: I WILL IMPRINT MY LAWS UPON THEIR MINDS, EVEN UPON THEIR INNERMOST THOUGHTS AND UNDERSTANDING, AND ENGRAVE THEM UPON THEIR HEARTS; and I will be their God, and they will be my people AMP

But we know that the Temple of Worship and the Law were not enough to change Man. The Law of Moses only served to show Men their sins and shut their mouthed arrogance.

Rom 3:19-20 We know that everything in the Law was written for those who are under its power. The law says these things TO STOP ANYONE FROM MAKING EXCUSES AND TO LET GOD SHOW THAT THE WHOLE WORLD IS GUILTY. God doesn't accept people simply because they obey the Law. No, indeed! ALL THE LAW DOES IS TO POINT OUT OUR SIN. CEV

So what we need and have been waiting for, is a MEDIATOR, and more than such.

May God’s Mercy speak for us always in His presence, IN JESUS NAME.

See you on Wednesday, as we proceed with this Subtopic.

Brother Prince

Monday, July 01, 2024

08055125517; 08023904307

[let-me-luve-you]

Lost a Soldier

Tom Holland x Military!Twin Sister!Reader

Summary: Tom has a bad feeling all day and when he gets the news, that feeling makes sense. He doesn't have the best reaction to it and Nikki is the only one who can calm him down.

Warnings: Death, military, cuss words, grief, angst (seriously there is no fluff at all in this fic), description of death, mention of blood (I think just once)

Word Count: 1.7k

a/n: I did not proofread this. If I missed any warnings, please let me know! Requests are still closed. I'm slowly working through what is in my inbox now.

Masterlist

Tom Holland Masterlist

Buy Me a Coffee

Tom woke randomly in the middle of the night to a pain in his chest. It was so bad it almost knocked the breath out of him. But as quick as it came, it was quickly gone, but left behind was this heavy feeling. He just had a feeling that something bad was going to happen today and he wasn’t sure what it would be.

As Tom went on with his day, the feeling grew stronger. He hated that he was feeling like this when he had so many good things happening around him. His and Harry’s script had been picked up by a production company and they were going to start pre-production soon. Sam had called and told him he got a promotion. Paddy landed a starring role in a tv show. He just didn’t get why he couldn’t shake the bad feeling.

As the Holland clan sat down for dinner, perfectly made by Sam and Nikki, a knock was heard at the front door. That heavy feeling in Tom’s chest intensified as he stood up and walked to the answer the door. Through the small window beside the door, Tom saw the two black SUVs and one cop car. His heart sank and tears gathered in his eyes and he knew why he had that bad feeling.

Taking a deep breath, Tom reached for the door handle. He slowly opened it to see the grim look on the four people in front of him.

“H-how can I help you?” Tom asked.

One of the guys in the uniform stepped forward, “Are you from the family of Y/N Holland?”

“Yes sir. She is my twin sister. Is everything okay?” He asked, holding onto the door for dear life.

“Can we come in and talk?” The chaplain asked. Tom nodded and led them into the living room.

“Um. Let me go- Let me go grab my parents real quick.” Tom left the room to grab his parents from the kitchen. His parents looked at Tom’s pale face and immediately knew something was wrong.

“Are you okay honey? Who was at the door?” Nikki asked standing up to check up on her oldest son.

“There's some people here. It’s about Y/N…I uh- I don’t think it’s good news.” Tom said looking at his mom and then at his dad. Dom was up in a heartbeat following Nikki to the living room. All four sons not far behind.

“Hi. I’m Nikki and this is my husband Dom.” Nikki said introducing herself.

“Hello. I’m Officer Morrow and this is Chaplain Hudson. That is Mr. Rhodes, he is a medic. That over there is Officer Leeds. She is an officer on her way to becoming a detective. Would you like to take a seat?” Officer Morrow asked. Nikki and Dom sat down on the couch. The four sons stayed standing on the side of the room. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but earlier this morning around 3:20 am, Y/N was involved in an accident. She was pronounced when they got her back to base. I’m so sorry for your loss.”

“What?” Nikki asked in a whisper. “No, I just talked with her yesterday afternoon. No.” She frantically looked at Dom and saw Dom’s pale face with tears building in his eyes. Dom looked back at her and quickly pulled her into a hug. “NO!” She yelled as she bawled into her husband’s chest.

Harry, Sam, and Paddy started to silently cry. Sam’s legs gave out and he leaned against the wall as he thought of his older sister.

“You’re lying,” Tom said matter of fact. “There’s no way. She’s fine. She’s not dead.” The four visitors looked at the young man with sympathy.

“I’m sorry. She is. They did everything they could to bring her back.” Officer Morrow said. Tom scoffed. Dom said a quick "I’ll be right back" as he led Nikki into their bedroom to have a private moment.

“If she was actually dead, how’d she die? Huh?” Tom said getting more aggressive as he took a step toward Officer Morrow.

“You don’t want to know, son. Trust me.” He said knowing that all family members reacted differently. He wasn’t taking any of this personally.

“She was my twin sister. She was my best friend. I need to know.” Tom said. Officer Leeds took a step forward to make sure nothing escalated too much.

“Son, ple-,” Officer Morrow was cut off.

“My name is Tom.” He was just getting angrier and angrier the more that he wasn’t told anything. He had the feeling all day so he knew it was true, but it didn’t stop the denial.

“Tom. Please. You don’t want to know.” Officer Morrow was almost begging to not have to tell him how his sister died.

“Tell. Me. Now.” Tom said in a low voice. “I’m going to find out anyway if she is actually dead, so why prolong me finding out. Tell me.”

“She was a part of a team of four other people. It was a setup. They took heavy fire and she was struck in the chest. She lost too much blood before we could get there to help her.” Officer Morrow said with dread.

It all clicked for Tom. When he woke up it was around 3:30 am. He felt what his sister felt. He felt the moment she died. Tom couldn’t comprehend his sister being lost so he stormed toward the kitchen. Tom didn’t hear his parents come back into the room, he didn’t see his brothers cornered together on the floor trying to comfort each other. All he saw was red. As he came to the door frame, Tom screamed in frustration and punched a hole in the wall. Harry immediately stood to go comfort his brother but Sam pulled him back down knowing Tom needed time to himself.

Officer Leeds took steps towards the kitchen in case she needed to step in and stop him from harming himself or any of his family members.

“Did she suffer?” Paddy asked. Dom and Nikki didn’t hear how she died, but they wondered the same.

“We don’t believe so.” Chaplain Hudson spoke up. Nikki sighed a breath of relief. She didn’t know if she would ever recover from this bad news, but she knew that if her baby girl suffered before passing, she would never recover. “We are extremely sorry for your loss. When you are ready, we can discuss plans on how to proceed. I know now is not the time, but know that you are not alone through this.”

Before Dom could speak up, All nine eyes widened and turned towards the kitchen as they heard crashing and screaming. Officer Leeds walked into the kitchen followed by Nikki and Dom and then everyone else watched from the doorway. They saw Tom had flipped the table and thrown two chairs across the room and was working on the third.

“Sir, please put the chair down.” Officer Leeds said moving towards the heartbroken young man.

“Stay the fuck away from me,” Tom yelled as he threw the chair in her direction but purposely missed.

“Sir, if you don’t calm down, I’m going to have to cuff you.” She said as Tom picked up some of the pots and pans that were on the counter. She quickly wrapped her arms around Tom’s upper half to stop him from doing more damage and yelled, “I need help here.”

“Stop. Let me go.” Tom said as he thrashed in her arms and finally broke free. He took a step to leave the room and everyone moved out of his way. Stopping in the living room, Tom paced while pulling at his hair. He once again took his anger out on his parents' furniture and flipped his dad’s favorite chair.

“Tom,” Nikki said softly, grabbing his attention. “Come here.”

“No. She was fine. I was supposed to call her tomorrow to tell her about our new movie. I was- she was supposed to be here when we filmed it.” Tom said, the anger slowly leaving his body as he vented to his mom. “And she was supposed to be my best man at my wedding and I was going to be her maid of honor. And, and, and she- she told me she was going to retire. This was her last tour. She was going to be done. She was supposed to be done.”

“I know, baby. I know.” Nikki didn’t know what to say to him. Right now, all she could do was be there for him. She slowly walked up to him and wrapped him in a hug and that is when Tom lost all his fight. All the pain he was feeling over losing his twin was coming out as he cried into his mom’s chest, just like he did when he was younger. “We’re going to be okay. I’m so sorry Tom. So sorry.” She whispered as she kissed his head and cried with him.

Tom’s legs gave out and he fell to the ground, taking Nikki with him. Dom ran to check and see if she was okay and she just gave him a look to say she was fine. She continued to rock her son as he continued to cry.

Dom walked the four visitors out promising them to call them in a day or two to make arrangements. Sam and Harry started cleaning up the mess Tom made in the kitchen. Neither complained as they knew they would probably react the same if they lost their twin. Paddy sat down on the couch and was shortly joined by Dom as they tried to comfort each other.

Tom finally cried himself to sleep on his mom’s chest. She just held him close and ran her fingers through his hair as she continued to rock him.

“We’ll be okay. Y/N is watching over us now.” She whispered loud enough so Dom and Paddy heard, but quiet enough that Tom didn’t wake. Nikki knew her family would never feel whole again, but they would work through their grief and get through it together with their guardian angel.

[chateautae]

saudade | kth. (m)

saudade ; “a deep emotional state of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something/someone that one cares for and/or loves.”

➵ summary : a demanding idol lifestyle was something taehyung and yourself were all too familiar with. it wasn’t so hard when considering your unconditional love for one another, but lately, taehyung wasn’t the same anymore; and you decide it's time to find out why.

➵ pairing : idol!taehyung x choreographer!reader

➵ genre : angst, smut, fluff (the holy trinity), idol!au, established relationship!au

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 16k

➵ warnings : sexual content, swearing, dom + sub dynamics, dom!tae, fingering, oral (f. receiving), lots of dirty talk, t e a s i n g because let’s face it this is tae, big dick!tae, cock sliding, marking, restraint (with his own hands), unprotected sex (wrap it up peeps), rough sex, mushy i miss you sex, lots of feels, tae undresses reader (it’s hot i promise), praising, name kink, slight body worshipping, slight brat-handling, forced orgasm, creampie, one spank, tiny impreg kink, aftercare

➵ a/n : wow, my first fic on tumblr!! i’m beyond excited to finally be sharing my stories and writing, hopefully i can let you escape into a whole new world and enjoy my works! comments and feedback are always appreciated <3

2:27AM. 

He still wasn't home. 

Texts on delivered, calls unanswered, radio silence on all social media. 

And it wasn’t just tonight, it was every night. 

Everyday. 

And it’s been a month. A long, grueling month.

A month where he only acknowledged your presence just once and called it a day. A month where he returned so late and left early enough the following morning you didn't see him. Somedays, he never even came home at all. You made suggestions to hang out together, and he declined them on the premise of 'too busy'. 

It hurt beyond comprehension. 

It's like he wasn't even there.

But you knew he was. 

He was the one who moved your sleeping body from the couch to your shared bed every night, a sweet gesture of his that gave you hope maybe everything wasn't so bad. Sometimes, though, you woke up on the same couch the next morning, knowing he most likely stayed the night elsewhere. 

You tried to remain indifferent to the treatment, figuring he was just stressed with his tightly-packed schedule that didn't always include you. 

But it was beginning to feel heart-breaking, disappointing, but most of all, so lonely. It was starting to feel like he was slipping away from you, like you were losing him, relationship tearing at the seams. It left you nothing but heartbroken and afraid. Afraid of where your relationship had gone, afraid of whatever happened to the never-ending love you two shared. You both harboured an array of feelings for one another that infinitely tethered you two together, kept you madly in love and nearly impossible to separate.  

So where was that now? How could it have all changed within the span of a month? 

You’ve survived comebacks with him before and he never entertained this kind of behaviour. Maybe you had a fight or two about someone cancelling on a plan or working too hard but nothing as excruciating as this. 

Your relationship began to feel empty, so meaningless. And the more he was distant, the stronger the pain grew and your love seemed to be losing its vitality.

Why would he do this? What's gotten into him? Did I do something wrong? Why doesn't he care anymore? you asked yourself repeatedly for weeks.

You’d think work was the issue, where your relationship had to be purposefully low-profile and subdued. But ever since the inception of your relationship, Taehyung never found any of that difficult. If anything, he loved it the most. You could easily leave it to the 'forbidden’ or 'looked down upon' stigma of you two dating to make everything 100x hotter, more exciting, and fuck, did you and especially Taehyung enjoy fiddling around with the concept as if you were some modern-day remake of Romeo and Juliet. 

The sneaking around, the thrill of moments only you two shared, the promises you kept, the secret kissing or displays of affection, your romantic status like classified information some were only privy to. 

But you didn't have to worry about suddenly losing your 'Romeo', though, because Taehyung wasn't as stupid as he was (no offence, Shakespeare). 

Taehyung remained business-like whenever he needed to be and tended to his work accordingly. He was always cautious of the consequences your relationship warranted, and worked hard to prove your love was worth it despite his chaotic life and the challenges everyone warned you of. 

Taehyung has also always been mischievous, a little rebellious, someone who doesn't always like following whatever he's told; so this relationship was just his cup of tea, making it hard to believe he would grow tired of it considering his well-precedented admiration. 

But now, you weren’t so sure. 

Now he seemed practically devoid of the fact that you two were even dating. He didn’t naturally gravitate towards you anymore like before, instead increasingly gravitating away from you. He didn't linger around to catch a moment with you anymore, didn't come looking for you, didn't spark conversation whether it was important or not, even stopped looking at you as a whole. It seemed like being in your presence was something he avoided rather than just didn't do, like he wanted to fill his time elsewhere and sometimes… you swore it felt intentional. 

As if he didn't want to be around you. 

You sought communicating with him about everything, pinning all the blame on his mountain-high stress and how busy he was thinking you could help ease his mind; but he stayed firm on the notion he was just fine. You obviously knew something was up and wanted to confront him, but you feared pestering or nagging him, never wishing to add to his stress.

And you get that, you really do. He has this demanding, grandiose life that you should understand is incredibly stressful and time-consuming. But you're going to be honest... you fucking missed Kim Taehyung. A lot. 

Granted, you saw him at work, even more so now with a comeback dawning on the group, but it wasn’t the same. 

You missed being home with him. You missed the way his big arms cuddled you when you watched a movie together, you missed 'attempting' to cook dinner with him, you missed your snuggly mornings where he wouldn’t let you go until he laid at least a hundred kisses on you. You missed him tickling you when you least expected it, randomly playing any track of jazz or slow music, swaying you until he made you giggle and you missed him never forgetting to kiss your forehead whenever he parted from you, even if he had to be discreet where work was concerned. 

The cute, couply things you missed, sure. But the one thing that consistently clouded your mind and bothered you nearly every second of everyday... 

Sex. 

That active as hell sex life you two had, you missed every damn detail about it and your body desperately yearned for its revival.

After a month's dryspell, you craved Taehyung so badly it wasn’t funny anymore. From all the times he eyed you suggestively, to the way his large, touchy hands ended up all over you, to the way he eventually laid you down, lost himself in his torturous but pleasurable teasing, maybe even tying you up or handcuffing you in the process, getting you dripping wet before he eventually fucked you just right simply out of his own desire.

Nope. 

You can't do this, it only made you hornier than you already were and fuck, did anything you try on yourself not work at all. You were feeling greedy. Going from doing it nearly three times a week during quarantine lockdown with him to suddenly having gone a month sex-free left you losing your mind. 

There used to be so much fire, so much love, so much passion between you two. It was intoxicating, so ardent that you could feel yourselves aching for each other in your bones.  But now, all of that felt either non-existent or buried so deep underground you couldn't feel much of anything. And of course, the absence of sex and the cute stuff collectively sucked, sure. But what scared you the most were your own thoughts. 

What if he's finally tired of you? What if he wants to focus on his career? What if he's found someone new, someone that isn’t staff, someone much easier and less burdensome than you..

You stopped. 

A dark web of assumptions swarmed your head, all seeming completely plausible and welcoming a dull, daunting sadness to loom over you. Your chest constricted at the thought of your fickle importance to him, wincing at the possibility it could be true. You sat in silence in your lonely home, leaving you to ponder when the apartment began to feel so forlorn in the first place.

The photographs he took framed the walls, the old albums he owned littered your shelves and even one of the many jackets he owned was currently sprawled across your couch. You noticed the way his presence was so deeply rooted in the home, yet he felt as distant as ever. 

You settled in on your couch, cradling his jacket at the thought of how much longer this would continue, forcing yourself to sleep in hopes of ridding the feeling of emptiness from your chest.

But you couldn't.

Your mind drowned struggling to sleep, giving up on shut-eye as a whole until eventually you began swimming, swimming through your emotions and one particular thought stood out to you; this wasn't fucking fair. 

It just wasn't, none of this was. You can't let him continue this, can't remain on the fence about doing something and you certainly cannot just let this go. It was your duty as one of the active partners in this relationship to fight for its life, so that's exactly what you were going to do—with one conclusion you were convinced would work. 

You should give him a taste of his own medicine. 

You decided to be upset, ignore him and see how he reacts. Respond with the same curt responses, not give him the time of day, 'naturally' gravitate away from him. Hell, you could start tomorrow by waking up earlier than him and seeing how he responds to your empty side of bed for once. 

That's if he even comes home tonight. 

This seemed like the only sure-fire method of gaining his attention. Maybe if you acted unreasonably, far from how you usually do he would finally pay you any mind, have to approach and confront you. You’d always let him off the hook on the account of him being an idol, but now he’s taken it too far. 

Your mind grew hazy somewhere in between thinking and shuffling on the couch, only the sight of a vacant apartment and the scent of his cologne lulling you to sleep. 

You groaned as your eyes fluttered open, the reality of last night resurfacing as you remembered the impromptu plan for today, cursing how early you had to wake up to avoid him. 

You lazily rubbed at your eyes as they landed on the clock on your bedside table, suddenly registering you were in a different room altogether. It was then you felt the softness of your pillow, the silk of your sheets, the familiarity of your room's walls coming into view—all of it blissful until you froze at the feeling of weight around your waist, a quick glance confirming it was an arm. It was then you felt your neck being fanned by hot breaths, your back flush against someone's bare chest and you felt your heart speed up. 

Is he...?

Thinking you're getting ahead of yourself, you're proven just right when you turn around to a face you knew all too well. 

Taehyung's soft figure rose and fell as he slept soundlessly next to you. 

You instantly softened, in a bit of shock because he was right there, angelic as ever as he breathed calmly and cuddled your smaller figure into him.

He still held you to fall asleep, huh?

A smile found your face at the thought as you admired the details of his; thick, pretty lashes pressed against the skin underneath his eyes, his large, veiny hand tucked under his cheek as the other draped you, his pink, pillowy lips sealed together in an adorable pout. You shifted onto your side and nuzzled closer into him, listening to his rhythmic breathing and watching his broad chest rise and fall. You melted into his presence, soaking in all the glory that was Kim Taehyung. 

You then remembered he was always here, he did give you his personal time; you just didn't see him. You knew he moved you at night, tucked you in, maybe kissed you goodnight. Maybe he had moments where he felt terrible for being away, whispered sweet apologies and promises into your ear.

But then again, you wouldn’t know, you didn't spend enough time together for you to know. 

A sudden movement of his arm and that eerie thought snapped you back into reality, instantly scolding yourself for getting distracted by him. You had to focus on how you felt, hone in your emotions and refrain from doting on your precious boyfriend. 

You wouldn't be able to ignore him later if you didn't start now.

You were forced to leave his warmth, having to ready yourself for today's rehearsals and resolving numerous things for however long this would continue; you needed Taehyung to feel what you've been feeling all this time, needed him to feel the absence of your presence just as you had felt his. 

And you'll be damned if you were going to be easy about it. 

A couple hours had passed as you stretched, yawning after revising a rehearsal video, the murmurs of staff keeping you awake. Stretching for what felt like the millionth time, you slightly jumped at the sound of the studio doors opening just before the scheduled time. You watched it mindfully, your heart speeding up at the thought of suddenly seeing Taehyung so soon. 

Don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first, don’t let it be him first. 

You calmed down once your eyes set on 5 of the members ambling in, watching them greet people until you eventually spotted Jimin and Taehyung trailing behind, thankfully too occupied with giggling to see you. 

You rejoiced in the lack of eye contact until you decided to sneak a peek at Taehyung, mortified when you found his eyes suddenly locking with yours. The shock made you turn away instantly, swallowing what felt like your heart down your throat. 

Your ears were welcomed to the boys making conversation, playfully teasing the 95's for apparently being late and in the midst you managed to shyly greet everyone... except Taehyung.  

And this didn't go unnoticed by him, who already felt worried since he woke up to your cold, unoccupied side of the bed this morning. Taehyung instantly found it off-putting, since he usually knew your schedule and left him wondering what reason you had to disappear without informing him. 

Curiosity flooded him as the thought continued to bug him, what did she have to do so early in the morning? His inquiries turned into actions when he began passing through the boys, immediately stepping towards you. 

"Morning, Y/N. Everything alright?" Taehyung innocently reached for your shoulder once he settled beside you. You almost let him do it, making you reminiscent of when he actually gave a shit about you, but you remembered your little scheme and swiftly pulled away.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

Taehyung immediately froze up, disbelief riddling his handsome features. You've never once rejected his touch so blatantly. 

You would never do that, he thought.

Taehyung paused his hand at the point he would have touched you, tugging at his bottom lip uncomfortably before rubbing the back of his neck. You internally winced at the hurt you could see on his face through the studio mirrors, forcing yourself to stand your ground as he feebly spoke again.

"You don't seem fine. Why did you wake up so early this morning? You didn't tell me about it..." He scratched his neck awkwardly, a hint of a pout in his tone.

"I don't know, I just couldn't sleep. I don't need to tell you my every move, Taehyung." You responded curtly.

"I know..but you could've told me, Jagiya. We could've spent the morning together in the apartment if you were up so early." Taehyung looked at you in protest, lowering his voice so others couldn't hear. 

The use of your pet name after a long time instantly ticked you off, even more so his proposal, he could say all that cute shit but couldn't act upon it? 

Irritation nestled its way under your skin, causing you to whisper dryly, “Just get to stretching, Taehyung, we have a lot to go over today.”

His jaw clenched as he swallowed, a troubled expression painting his face. He managed a small 'okay' before he unwillingly stepped away.

Taehyung was beyond confused; something was wrong, seriously wrong. It wasn't just your harsh tone or icy aura, but even in the way you addressed him so plainly as Taehyung. 

He didn't understand, he's seen you mad or annoyed before, but nothing along these lines and he couldn’t piece together the reason for your attitude. It seemed like nothing would ameliorate your mood either, leaving Taehyung cursing whatever evil thing was making you so upset. 

Despite experiencing that bitter demeanour, however, Taehyung was forced to watch you act friendly with everyone else during practice.. except him. 

And what was even worse, he watched you do so for the rest of the week. You had gone a whole week with your (what he found to be) ridiculous behaviour, everything about you so different with him he was left consumed with frustration. 

He watched as you continued to treat everyone else the same, getting a little too close to them than he liked. It was something he noticed in the weeks previous to this, but now silently pissed him off even more because this time you decided to purposefully exclude him; and he hated it. You barely spoke or tended to him over the course of the week, Taehyung's envy blooming in his chest at the way you acted so close to everyone yet treated him, your boyfriend, like a stranger. 

He didn't understand why he was the only one, you talked to Jimin about what he did on his days off, pretended to box with Jungkook, danced around with Yoongi and Hoseok and goofed around with Jin and Namjoon. Hell, he even found you socializing with other staff and dancers more than usual. 

Taehyung couldn't fucking stand it, what in the world was wrong with you? Not only did he figure something was clearly wrong, but that he clearly did something wrong. 

He was beyond confused, annoyed, but more so worried as to what was fuelling your actions. Taehyung didn't know what he did, and he couldn't manage not knowing anymore, most of all despising the feeling that he was suddenly losing you. 

He quickly resolved after a gruesome week he wasn't letting you go after rehearsals tonight, giving a fat fuck you to his evening plans and trading them in for confronting you. 

Your eyes stung from a week’s worth of waking up at the ass crack of dawn to avoid Taehyung, rubbing your eyes as you slung your purse over your shoulder to end another day at the studio. Thinking you were alone, you swiveled around to an empty room and surprisingly spotted Taehyung.

You jumped a little, not expecting him to still be here when you knew he had dinner plans tonight. 

Did he cancel them? 

Suddenly realizing this is the first time in over a month you’ve been in a room with him, alone, and especially after the week you've spent purposefully dodging him, anxiety flooded your chest. 

Your eyes flittered around, nibbling on your lip awkwardly as you pretended he wasn't there. You eventually met his eyes and he returned your hesitant gaze with an intense one, nearly peering into your very soul. He remained unbothered with his hands tucked into his pockets, and now that you were finally viewing him, couldn't help but swoon over his look for the day. 

He really chose to wear that damn grey hoodie with matching grey sweatpants that makes you weak, hair styled in the messy curls he's been sporting ever since his perm and wearing that one silver hoop earring you found incredibly hot. 

He looked like a fluffy puppy but also a full-course meal crafted by God himself. 

This isn't fucking fair at all. 

He noticed you staring at him and his head cocked to the side, studying you with a hint of a smirk. He raised an eyebrow tauntingly, like he wouldn't let you go after trapping you in what felt like shackles around your ankles. You could only swallow dryly, averting your eyes and reminding yourself you had to get out of his trance

His power over you was immense, especially when he flipped his curly fringe from his eyes, examining you with such a fiere, unreadable expression you shifted nervously on your feet. 

How is he so dominant when he's standing a whole 15 fucking feet away from you?

You watched a self-satisfying grin play onto Taehyung’s lips, loving the way you squirmed under his undivided attention until he suddenly began stepping in your direction, sheer panic overtaking you. You weren't ready, you didn't really think of the result of this plan and now that it's worked, you knew you were in trouble. 

Taehyung is unpredictable as hell, you never knew what was running through his mind and which idea he’d pick to entertain. You malfunctioned at the thought and your flight response kicked in, making you step towards the door at light speed. 

"I..uh.. I have to go." You stuttered and purposely ducked around him. You felt relieved once you passed his deep stare, until you felt his slender fingers suddenly grapple onto your wrist. 

Shit. 

"You're not going anywhere." His low voice reverberated in the room, sending currents through your body. You refused to look at him, knowing it would make you squeal, but you stabilized your voice to speak. 

"I..", you swallowed, "don't think it's your place to say." 

You felt his hold on your wrist tighten, knowing that pissed him off. 

A small moment of silence passed and you thought he'd given up, relaxing until he suddenly yanked you towards him, your smaller figure crashing into his chest. He held you against his tall body as his eyes locked with your timid ones, forcing the confrontation of your obvious issue with him. 

You took a stubborn step back instead of giving in, arms crossed. Taehyung had enough of you evading his look and gently lifted your chin with his index finger.

"My place? It's been a fucking week and you haven't even looked at me, Y/N. What is your problem?" He emphasized with annoyance, but his soft eyes gave away he was just desperate for an answer. 

"Nothing's wrong, Taehyung, I'm just tired."

"Oh really? Tired? Y/N, don't think I didn't notice you ignore me for an entire week. I thought something was wrong in general but clearly you have a problem with me and only me. What's your deal?" He vented in frustration, tone utterly displeased.

You only scoffed disbelievingly, looking towards the ground in search of something to hold back your piled-high emotions. 

Taehyung grew tired of your silence and sighed with dejection. He cupped your cheeks and looked at you seriously, "Look at me, bubs, what's so wrong? Did I do something?" the newfound frailty in his voice left you sucking in a breath of guilt. 

You really wanted to voice how you felt, teetering on the possibility until you suddenly became aware you'd be requesting demands from one of the busiest people on Earth.

 Your tongue habitually tied itself. 

"It's just.. It's not important, Taehyung. Let me go." You abruptly turned out of his hold, locking your jaw tightly. 

"Why in God's name would I let you go? Something's wrong, Jagiya, and that's always going to be important to me." Taehyung squeezed your arms affectionately, suddenly warming you to him. 

You could instantly feel your emotions conflicting inside, flooding your chest with regret yet frustration so heavy you needed air. Your eyes were beginning to reveal your vulnerability, trying to blink away threatening tears. 

"Taehyung, just let me go, it's absolutely nothing." Your voice sounded shakily unconvincing and yet, you were tugging yourself away as if he would believe you. 

"It's not nothing, I can clearly see something wrong. Why won't you just tell me?" 

"Because I don't want to tell you, Taehyung. It's really just nothing." 

"You keep saying it's nothing but I can see it in your eyes, you're upset, Jagiya. I know you." Taehyung spoke matter-of-factly, his grip and tone growing desperate.

"I'm not upset, I'm just exhausted." 

"Exhuasted..” Taehyung trailed, licking his lips. “Of course, because now you're waking up earlier than you usually do in the morning and on top of that without even fucking telling me why." His tone grew irritated as he scoffed, looking away from you.

You instantly grew annoyed. 

"And I told you I don't need to tell you my every move, Kim. Why are you even so pissed about it?” 

"Did you just.. family name me?" Taehyung narrowed his eyes

"So what if I did?" You deadpanned. 

Taehyung let out a deep sigh. 

"I’m pissed cause I got worried, okay? Not everyone has a situation like ours where anyone could do shit to you because of me, so I like knowing where you are." Taehyung stressed with a serious tone. "And listen, I’m not letting you go until you tell me what's wrong. I'm fucking serious, Jagi, you did not just ignore me all week only to tell me nothing's wrong." 

"And I'm not gonna say anything. I'm fucking serious, Taehyung." You mimicked him, hoping he'd let you go. 

Taehyung dragged his tongue along the inside of his cheek and chuckled dryly, your impossibility unbelievable to him. He pursed his lips before slowly releasing you, his hands up in mock surrender. 

"Fine, you can leave then." 

You took his words without a second thought and immediately turned for the door. You had just cracked it open before Taehyung’s hand suddenly smacked it shut from behind, making you turn around startled. 

He abruptly pinned you against the door with the weight of his body, locking you in with both arms. He leveled himself to your height and peered directly into your eyes.

"And I told you, I'm not letting you go, Ms. Y/L/N." Taehyung now mimicked you as you felt him dominate you with a degree of alpha-male that left you entranced and unable to move. He drew himself closer to your face, so close that he granted no room for you to breathe. You could only stand in defeat, your doe eyes wide as you flashed them to his lips and back to his eyes. 

Taehyung couldn't resist how much he wanted you anymore.

"I always forget how challenging you can be." He spoke in his deepest, sultriest tone, that damn bass paired with his dancing eyes causing you to bite your lip. 

Taehyung watched you do so and grew hot, finding you irresistible when you were acting impossible yet became putty in his hands. You balled your hands into fists against his chest as he dangerously inched towards your neck, his proximity shooting arousal through your blood. 

His scent was intoxicating, resurfacing the numerous thoughts you had of him in his absence. He manifested butterflies in your chest,  knowing you had to resist him yet found yourself giving in.

He finally ducked into your neck, anticipating the connection of his lips until he only ghosted your skin. He breathed against you purposefully to elicit a reaction, gifted his desire when he felt your body lean into him and breath hitch. 

You hated that you wanted him to kiss you already. You craved him so desperately, so in need of his touch that just the feeling of his body pushing you against the door was enough to make you press your thighs together. 

And little did you know, a month and a week without you left Taehyung dying to devour you. 

As if noticing you getting impatient, he pulled you towards him by your waist and his lips finally crashed onto your neck, a silent groan escaping you as his plush lips began mouthing sensually. You let out a breathy moan but gathered the courage to speak up, knowing full well the high creeping up on you and you needed to get back at him.

"Maybe if you were home more often you'd remember." 

A small laugh escaped Taehyung, "So that's what this is about?" The sudden puff of his breath made you want to jump him. He deliberately pushed his hips into yours, shooting jolts throughout your core once you felt the familiar prodding of something hard. He began sliding one of his hands up and down your waist, almost in an effort to distract you. 

"Of course it is, Tae. You're never fucking home." You spoke with vexation, growing both sexually and emotionally frustrated over the way he was pressing you up against the door and inviting a stirring feeling to constrict your insides. He brought his thigh in between your legs, slightly grinding against you as he added pressure to your heat and sucked your sweet spot.

"I'm never fucking home, huh? Who do you think moves you from the couch to our bed? Makes sure you're comfortable and tucks you in? Kisses you goodnight?" He asked rhetorically, letting his teeth bite at your supple flesh and embellish you with his favourite purple marks.

"T-that's not the point, Taehyung. I'm not awake. H-how does that count as you being home?" You retaliated as best you could, snaking your hands to grab the nape of his neck, fingers trailing into the curly ends of his hair. He groaned so audibly that you grew shamelessly hornier.

"Because I do come home. I sleep next to you in our bed, even cuddle you." He began sucking underneath your jaw, wrapping his arm around your torso to press you flush against him. He kissed down your throat trying to bite and leave more hickies, pushing you back for support.

"I-I just told you, that doesn't count, Tae. You... come home when I'm asleep and leave before I wake up. I-I never see you." You tried to maintain your composure, hands hugging his head close to you. 

"But we already see each other here, don't we? You see me at practice, meetings, in the building... no?" He suddenly came off your neck and his hand flanked to your chin, advancing for a kiss. But immediate annoyance flooded you upon registering his words, pulling your face back. 

"Are you kidding me? You count that as seeing each other? All we do is rehearse choreography and work together. How is that 'seeing' each other?" You asked, baffled at his audacity. 

"Because we're at least together, aren't we? Isn't that all that matters?" Taehyung looked at you as if you were the ridiculous one, ignoring your concerns and trying to kiss you again. You immediately removed yourself from him and pushed him back, his hands letting you go.

"That's not the issue, Tae. The issue is that you're really busy and I get that, but we literally haven't done anything together in the last month. And the reason that sounds insane to me is because we work and live together, you'd expect that somewhere in that time we would’ve done something... but we haven't." You emphasized as you pled your case. 

"Princess, we've been over this. I told you at the beginning of our comeback that our time together was gonna be limited. I remember you agreeing to that and understanding. Why is this coming up now?" 

"So going an entire month neglecting your ‘princess' is what you meant? Your 'limited' seems more like 'nothing at all'.” You air quoted and crossed your arms, becoming annoyed with his ambiguity and sudden use of another pet name. 

"Okay, that's not what I'm saying. All I'm saying is that comeback season is busy, it's one thing after another and I can't always keep up with everything. There’s a lot going on; our album, company business, don’t get me started on the mountain of work with promotions, concerts, filming and photoshoots. I'm even making an entire fucking mixtape. I’m trying my damn best here." Taehyung vouched for himself, holding his hands up to defend against your accusations.

"And I'm not saying you don't try, I understand that you're busy but what I’m saying is I don't even feel important to you anymore, let alone a priority. We barely interact, you never do anything with me or talk to me, but for everyone else you’ve got all the effort in the world to spare. I get that you're an idol, I always see you working hard and I'm proud of that. But you somehow make time for everything else.. why can't you just make some time for me?" You felt like you sounded selfish, almost faltering from revealing anymore but you felt so neglected it had to be said. 

"Wh-what about you? Oh my God, Jagiya.. you're such a high priority to me. Trust me, you really don’t know what I'd do for us and you should know I’d damn well do or sacrifice anything. It may seem like I'm not right now but I promise it's not like that. You'll always be important to me, how could you think otherwise?" Taehyung was perplexed by your sudden outburst, never having known of these feelings before. He reached his hands out to you but you abruptly denied him, snapping at the question.

“Then what’s it ‘like’, exactly? Because it seems very much to me like you want nothing to do with our relationship.” 

“No, that’s-that’s not it at all. Don’t worry about this, okay bubs? Overthinking this won’t do you any good, just trust me.” 

“Trust you? You're not even answering my damn question, Taehyung, what is it then? Why aren’t you telling me? Are you fucking hiding something?” You began speculating, his repeated vagueness irking you.

“Jagi, no, just listen to me. Know that I mean it when I say you’re important to me, you’re the love of my life and you'll always be a priority. Why are you thinking like this? Where is all this coming from?” Taehyung asked incredulously, getting on your very last nerve. 

"I don't fucking know, Taehyung, maybe because you ignore me for hours on end? Maybe because you leave me every morning without considering just waking up together? I know we can't make it obvious we live together, but we’ve always found a way before, what happened to that? Your texts and phone calls are so meaningless. You make time for your friends and other people but don't make any for me." Your eyes turned glassy, tears escaping as you recalled your terrible feelings over the last month. 

"Do you know why you find me sleeping on the couch every night no matter how fucking uncomfortable it is? Because our bed literally smells like you and it constantly reminds me of you but you’re not even there. Do you know how many times I've wanted to talk to you but you're too distracted and I know you'd just push me away? Or how scared I am of bothering you? How many times I've wanted you to come home? How utterly empty and lonely the apartment feels without you even though everything about you is riddled all over it? You don't get it, Taehyung. You just don't fucking get it." You found yourself crying and clutched your chest where it felt like your heart was on display for Taehyung, the reality of everything hitting you like a 16-wheeler. 

Taehyung did nothing but blink at you for several seconds, shocked at what he just heard. Were you seriously.. that upset? His absence was that prominent? It didn't even feel like a month to him, but it seems to you it felt like an eternity. 

Taehyung unfortunately only knew his packed schedule and making sure he didn’t fall asleep where he shouldn't. A multitude of things ran through his mind on a daily basis with his chaotic life; discussing outfits with his stylist, trying to purchase that new serum his makeup artist always reminds him of, meeting with a producer to review freshly composed songs for his mixtape or finally going out for that one drink he always promised a friend or two—and he suddenly hated it all. 

He especially began to loathe his demanding life when he saw the hurt on your face; the way your eyes glistened with pain, the loneliness in your voice, the way you tried physically holding yourself together. He couldn't fathom he was the cause of such pain, wincing at how utterly stupid he was for not noticing this earlier.

I really did do something to her.

He searched for anything to say, beginning to form words but quickly stopping himself from starting a sentence each time. He only examined your crumbling state and regretted not having talked to you sooner, but suddenly wishing you informed him about your feelings preemptively.

"I.. I thought you would've said something, Y/N, but you didn't. How am I supposed to know you feel this way if you don't tell me? You-you seemed okay to me." He inquired softly, tone riddled with guilt, but his words only made a disdainful scoff leave your lips. 

"Told you? Taehyung, you have always made it clear that you're a busy person and I've always respected that. You also made clear the importance of this comeback and that I just had to understand how limited our time together would be. Of course I had to act okay. How could you expect me to come and beg you for your attention after you tell me not to seek it?"

Taehyung was taken aback, falling silent. You watched him angrily, finding it unbelievable he really had nothing to say for such a crucial argument. 

"I was fucking embarrassed, Taehyung. I thought you'd get mad at me for hovering around you while you were busy and stressed. I didn't want to fucking suffocate you." 

"What? Jagi, no, this is important. I wouldn't have reacted like that at all. If you were hurting this much you could've told me and I would've done something. You can always talk to me, how could you not know that?" Taehyung inquired with a hint of accusation and it was like every cell in your body had set off.

"Oh fuck you, Kim Taehyung. Don't give me that bullshit! Of course I know, but I also know that you just get caught up in your own world and your extravagant idol life and I don't wanna fucking bother you when you’re living it without me!" 

"Y/N, don't. I'm not trying to pick a fight with you, can you watch your tone a little?" Taehyung asked with a frustrated timbre.

"You know what? I won't, Taehyung, let's fight. Only way to get your attention, isn't it?" Your feelings had reached its peak as you decided to egg him on.

"Don't do this, Y/N. I'm trying to have a civilized conversation." 

"And I don't want a civilized conversation, it's only making you ask me stupid questions." 

"They're not stupid questions. Can you not understand my side of this?" 

"Nope, I won't because I don't care about your side, actually." 

"The fuck? And you just expect me to understand your side when you won't even try to understand mine? I’m expected to know how you feel? Well news flash, Y/N, I can't exactly read minds.” He humorlessly tapped his head for effect, quipping at you harshly.

"I'm not asking you to read my mind, I'm just asking you to fucking pay attention for once in your goddamn life." You rolled your eyes dramatically, arms crossed tight as ever. 

Taehyung noticeably grew angry at the remark, his eyes narrowing in irritation. "Do not tell me of all people I don't pay attention. You know I've changed over the years but how attentive I am hasn't. Don't ever say that to me again." Taehyung's stern voice warned you of the line you were crossing.

You immediately softened and turned your attitude down a notch, only by a margin since you knew he would never grow angry enough to do anything to you.

"Fine, you pay attention, but clearly not enough." You acquiesced, looking away from him. 

Taehyung tried his best to reason now that he sensed you yielding. "Look, this is my first time hearing about this, okay? I had no clue, especially because you seemed and acted fine with me. Of course I'm going to tell you you should've just talked to me, I'm seriously not asking stupid questions." 

"Well, I didn't want to talk to you." 

"And how was that going to help you? It's only making us argue over something so easily fixable." He indirectly accused you and you returned your eyes to his, narrowing them at his audacity. 

"Wow, easily fixable, huh? Do you really think it takes that little to earn my forgiveness after neglecting me for an entire month? Am I that easy to you?" You smiled to yourself miserably, turning away as tears spilled from you. 

Your assumptions were correct, he really just thought of you as some easy pushover. Part of this was your fault, wasn't it? Being so quiet and passive about everything. You voluntarily let him get away with everything, let him slip away without a fight, and the frustration of that realization came washing down on you, hard. 

"No, wait. That's not what I meant. I just meant that if you'd let me known earlier, we wouldn't be fighting like this." Taehyung instantly softened at your tears with regret, internally facepalming himself.

"I didn't want to openly tell you, okay? It makes me seem...like an attention-seeker, and I was so afraid of bothering you." You wore your heart on your sleeve as your voice wavered, more tears escaping as you attempted to blink them away. 

Taehyung looked at you with overwhelming worry. His heart was beyond broken now, his desire to fix everything growing stronger with every tear that dared escape your eyes. 

He needed to make this right, fast.

"It doesn't make you a fucking attention-seeker, Y/N. Stop being so worried about how you appear to me, I'm with you for a reason. I accept you in any way, especially after how much we fought for this, for us. Your feelings too, they're all fucking valid to me. I really would've done something if you’d just told me how you felt." Taehyung practically pleaded, his pouty lips and devastated eyes making it clear he just wanted to reach some sort of consensus with you. 

"But that's the problem, Tae." You sniffled, wiping some tears. "You keep saying I should’ve told you, when you should've noticed on your own in the first place." 

Taehyung felt like someone had slapped him across the face, his lips parting as a deep look of realization dawned on his gorgeous face. "I…" He trailed, but couldn't let words out. He was realizing how stupid he was, how unobservant and ignorant. He hated it all, hated that he was so busy, hated that he didn't pay enough attention and hated that he hurt you. 

You gave up when his lack of words warranted a tense silence between you two, cut short when you hastily left the room. You walked in the direction of the parking lot angrily. You just needed some air, needed to go home and cleanse yourself of him for the time being. 

You thought you were being quick enough, until you heard laboured footsteps and Taehyung's low voice echoing in the hallway, tailing you. 

"Y/N! Wait, wait! Please, don’t walk away!" Taehyung practically begged as he rushed to your side.

"I'm not gonna wait for anything, I'm going home!" 

"Stop! My manager's gonna take us home tonight, okay? We're gonna talk about this." He stated with solidarity as he grabbed your arm, eager to patch things up.

"No we're not, and I have my own car, I'm getting myself home." You snatched your arm from him and marched on.

"You can leave it here for fuck's sake, and I said stop. We're going home together and sorting this out because I can't leave you like this, okay? We need to fix this."

"Awh, all I'm getting from that is you'll finally be home for once!" You chirped sarcastically, never looking at him as you practically stomped away. You saw him falter from your side, knowing he had to have paused at the heft of your comment. 

You both eventually made it through the building’s doors, you needing to be pretty much dragged into his manager’s car despite your vehement protest, stupidly shut into the back with him.

You were turned away putting on an Oscar’s worthy performance of pretending he wasn’t there, and Taehyung was left to canvas his numerous thoughts as the car drove. 

He realized he had said nothing to your comment earlier because.. you were right. 

When was the last time he sat in a car with you like this? The last time you were both home together? The last time you both lazily threw your things onto the floor once you arrived home and immediately smothered each other after holding back all day? The last time he held you in his arms while you two watched a trashy movie? 

Holy fuck, when was the last time we had sex? Made love? 

He could only think of memories from weeks ago in quarantine, nothing recent. His solemn gaze fell upon you as he thought. He could feel the prominent tension between you two, the gut-wrenching distance, leaving a black hole swallowing his heart. He felt no ease, no affection, no love. 

When did it fucking become like this? 

He was still struggling to stomach the fact that he hurt you. He watched you regretfully, tears pricking at his eyes as he saw you attempting to hold back your own. 

He then felt the sudden need to hold you, to comfort you. You had been pulling away from him for so long that he wanted nothing but to feel his large, warm hand cradle your smaller, colder one. Reassure you that while he's stupid, he's still here. 

Taehyung looked at you and leaned over, deciding to gently slide a reaffirming hand atop yours, gripping your fingers with all the love and warmth he could muster. 

He expected you to reject him, nearly giving up on a reaction until he felt your tentative hand just barely grab his back. Surprised, he took a relaxed breath. 

I'm going to fix this.

Taehyung shut the door as you two sauntered into your apartment and you disregarded your things, heading straight for your room. You thought it would make Taehyung leave you alone, but he caught your hand as you began stepping away. He didn’t yank you; simply held your wrist, still and remorseful with your back to him. 

A long pause passed as he stood in place, silence piercing the air until you spoke coldly, "What do you want?"

“I’m sorry.” Was all he could manage, his once powerful voice so incredibly small. 

You searched for a response, the air becoming somewhat suffocating as you sighed. “I know.” 

“No, you don’t. Jagiya, I mean it. I mean it with everything I have. I'm so sorry” Taehyung insisted with meaning, like he was seconds away from falling apart if you didn't believe him. 

You could hear the sincerity in his words and you could feel how heartbroken he was, but your exhaustion amassed with all the emotions that had been attacking you all week were discouraging you from participating in any conversation right now. 

“You may mean it, but that’s not fixing anything, Taehyung. You really don’t know how it felt to have you ignore me. To see you unaffected by our time apart. It felt like you were pushing me away, like I wasn’t worth your fucking time anymore.” 

“That’s wrong, Jagiya. You are always worth my time.” 

“Then maybe you’re just a contradictive jerk, Taehyung, I don’t know!” You threw your hands up as you broke his hold, turning around vexed. 

"Because one day you're telling me to basically fuck off because you're too busy but the next you're saying I'm worth all your time? Where the fuck was that the last month then? All you had to do was spare me a couple hours a week, just a couple. I wasn't even asking for much, you could've made the time!"

“I'm sorry, okay! I’m a jerk, I get it, but I had a reason! I have a fucking reason but right now I want to apologize and say I'm sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel like that, I’m sorry I neglected you and made you feel alone, I never intended that!” Taehyung sincerely implored, eyes worried and persistent as he reached for you. 

“Then what did you intend? Saying sorry after the fact does nothing. If you didn’t intend to hurt me then what did you intend to do?!”  You shouted, evading his touch again. 

“I was doing it for you! The reason was all for you, for us!”

You couldn’t help but laugh as anger seeped into your blood, unbelieving of whatever excuses you thought he was making up. 

“For me? Us? Really? Wow, did you suddenly quit your job as an idol to become comedian of the fucking year?” You quipped venomously. "How the fuck is you ignoring me for a month 'for our relationship'?" 

Taehyung was trying hard to calm himself down, thinking twice about how he was going to handle this. "Y/N, please, just try to trust me on this." 

You scoffed disbelievingly, shaking your head as you quickly made your way further into the apartment and over to your TV. Taehyung's eyebrows furrowed as he watched you reach towards the shelf underneath it. It was adorned with cherished photos of the people you both held most dear; family, friends, the boys. Most of them consisted of Taehyung entertaining his love for photography, having snapped stunning photos of scenery, people or a combination of both he adored enough to frame. 

But many were of you two, either in front of gorgeous landscapes or adorable candids. You picked up a photograph of you two in Daegu—Taehyung's big arms enveloping yours from behind as you hooked onto them, all smiles in front of his family's strawberry farm after his camera’s timer snapped the photo.

“See this? This is something you did for us, you told me you only take and frame photos of the most beautiful moments in your life, and you gave this to me telling me it was your favourite moment.” You placed the frame down, opting to grab the gray Sherpa blanket off the couch in front of you. 

“This? You got this for me after I was diagnosed with anemia during Christmas and had been shivering for months. You told me not to worry because you’d always keep me warm and whenever you weren’t there I could use this blanket instead, think of it as you. You did that for me.” You disregarded the blanket and held up your wrist. 

“This bracelet? You got it for our anniversary and made it our equivalent of promise rings because you know I hate rings. You even made sure your bracelet matched in a way that other people wouldn't notice and was only special to us." You watched as Taehyung slightly lifted his left hand to look at the mentioned bracelet. "You did that for me, for us.” Tears were brimming your eyes as you spoke, voice growing shaky.

“Taehyung, you did all those sweet and thoughtful things for us, for me. Those are the kinds of things you should be doing, not fucking hurting me by acting like I don't matter to you, making me question everything. What’s wrong with you? How could you scare me like that? Treat me like I’m nothing and say it’s for our relationship?”

“You're not, you're not nothing." Taehyung's voice caught in his throat, trying hard to dry his glassy eyes.

"I get it, Y/N. I fucking get it, what I’m doing right now may not seem as sweet as all those other things, but I promise it’s as thoughtful, it's still all for you. I’m serious when I say that, this is all because I love you. Why can’t you just believe me?” 

"And why can’t you just say what it is? Why won't you tell me? Are you hiding something? Taehyung, what you did felt like anything but love-" 

"That’s not true. The reason is insignificant right now because I didn't mean to hurt you, I’m so fucking sorry.” Taehyung's voice shook with genuity, trying once again to approach you, gingerly, affectionately. 

Your anger couldn’t subside with the way he kept side-tracking, however, your emotions growing erratic again. "Are you kidding me? Insignificant? The reason is the most important! Just tell me, why did you ignore me for an entire fucking month?!” 

"I said it's not fucking important right now. I want to apologize first, I didn’t mean to do it!" Taehyung was desperate to reason, eyes begging you to believe him. 

“It is important! Tell me what you’re hiding.”  

“It’s not important.”

“Yes it is!”

“No it isn’t!” 

“Yes it is!” 

“No it isn’t! I'm trying to earn your forgiveness firs-Y/N, what are you.." Taehyung’s eye widened in shock.  

He couldn't finish his sentence because he watched you grab a cushion from the couch and suddenly launch it in his direction.

"What the fuck? What are you doing?!” Taehyung exclaimed as he dodged, his large hands instinctively catching the object, looking at you like a confused puppy. “Did you just throw that at me?!” 

“I did! And I'll do it again until you tell me what you’re hiding!” You challenged him like a child and started reaching for throwable things. Pens, notepads, books, even a stray plastic water bottle all went hurtling towards Taehyung. 

You couldn’t stop throwing out of frustration, his unfair gift of ambidextrous hands and incredible catching skills making you even more frustrated. 

Did he really have to be made so fucking perfect? 

He continued defending himself from your attacks until he grew annoyed, “For the love of God, Y/N, stop throwing shit! Just put everything down and listen to me, you have to trust me before I can even explain myself!” Taehyung shouted more so with concern for you, dodging a bottle of vitamins. 

Now why the fuck was that just lying around? 

You snorted condescendingly, "Again with that, trust you?" You mocked as the TV remote came into your hand. 

"You know what, Taehyung? Let me explain for you, you’ve just found someone new who's not fucking staff, haven’t you? Our relationship got too difficult and you’ve finally had enough. You’re hiding shit to save my feelings, aren’t you?” You accused him much to your dismay, angry tears pooling in your eyes.

"What-no! Fuck no I would never do or think any of that!" Taehyung vehemently denied, finally having reached you and wrestled you for the remote. He eventually pried it out of your hands, throwing it away and holding your wrists as you resisted him.

 "It’s none of that, alright? I was just so damn stressed and I had way too much work. There’s so much going on, it fucks with me and I didn't want to make you my fucking mental care, unload my idol life crap onto you. You're working just as hard and I didn't want to burden you.”  Taehyung desperately revealed trying to reach you, upset that you could even think such ridiculous, lowly things of him. 

"Don't you dare use work as an excuse. I know you were busy and stressed, but you were making time for everyone else in your life except me. Just say it, Tae. I know you're tired of us!"

"Fucking-Y/N, it's literally not that at all. I was actually busy, okay? What I said is true!" Taehyung pleaded, he knew he was only telling part of the truth, but it wasn't exactly a lie.

"It can't just be that, there's no way. What are you hiding from me? I'm serious, I'll leave this conversation if you don't, I'll leave this apartment if you don't-” 

"No! Just-alright! You really wanna know so badly?” Taehyung inquired rhetorically, his jaw locking. “Fine then. You fucking got found out.” 

You stopped fighting him and blinked, confusion riddling all your features. Taehyung sighed deeply and continued before you could say anything.  

“We got too comfortable, okay? I'm still an idol and our team heard a shit ton of rumours spreading outside the company about me dating someone. They controlled most and knew any remaining ones would just turn into baseless gossip since nobody knew your identity. I’d just get talked about which I didn't care about. But people somehow started finding your face, your name, and your information was spreading fast. Management was scared you'd be made public especially with reporters and cameras so up our asses these days and watching us. I was terrified when they told me. I couldn't let anyone know you, not when they’d do or say shit to you just because we're together… so I had to do something."

Now it was your turn to stand in shock for several seconds, utterly wide-eyed at the bullet you didn't even know Taehyung was keeping from you. 

“What-what the fuck? What do you mean? When did this happen?" 

"The same time I started 'ignoring' you. Nobody pressured me to break up with you, but I was warned to dissolve the rumours asap. I took matters into my own hands by acting the way I did to get people thinking we were either broken up or never dating in the first place. I hated doing it.. but it started working. I didn't want to tell you anything because I knew you'd just say we could solve everything together when we weren't in a position to do so." Taehyung wasn't hiding his clear anguish, upset having to recall his awful memories of the ordeal.

You were still shocked at how little you knew, finding yourself at least understanding of his actions and reasoning, but crossed your mind better ways to have dealt with this; especially ones that didn't entail hurting you.

"But Taehyung, you should've let me known. If you had just told me I wouldn't have gotten hurt like this. Why would you keep this from me?"

"I just.. I couldn't tell you. It felt like I was breaking up with you and I couldn't handle it. Even when I finally had the balls to do it I ended up prolonging because I just got so busy and pushed everything away to focus. I felt like I could deal with it on my own, fix it all by myself. I didn't want to drop this on you when you were busy too." 

You exhaled harshly, hating how unfair this entire situation was. "You could’ve told me with something like this, Taehyung. I can't just let you carry the burden all on your own, this entire problem had to do with me. We promised we wouldn’t keep shit from each other especially considering the circumstances of our relationship. Why would you break that promise?" Your eyes welled up again, inhaling painfully. 

Taehyung paused, scoffing humorlessly. "Yeah? I broke that promise? Jagi...you broke that promise too." 

You blinked again, his eyes piercing yours poignantly as you could only look back at him in defeat. 

He was right. 

He was entirely right, you hid your feelings from him and never told him anything, a clear violation of that promise on your end. But you couldn't let his wrongdoings go either, not on this; the hurt, the doubt, the thoughts he made you think. That pain was making you fall apart and the reality of it all came crashing down on you. "An apology still can’t fix this, Taehyung. I want to go to bed, we'll talk about this tomorrow.” 

You pulled away and moved towards your room until Taehyung rushed in front of you, grabbing onto your arms.

“Wait! This isn’t over, baby please, just listen to me.” 

“It is for today, Taehyung. I can't do this right now.” 

“No, I don’t want tomorrow. I want this now, I want to talk to you now.” Taehyung insisted with what seemed like his entire being. He didn't want to spend tonight like this; he didn't want you to sleep upset, and neither did he. 

“Taehyung, you’re making me repeat myself. Let me go, please. I’m exhausted.” You choked on your words, swiping your tears. 

“No, I told you I’m not fucking letting you go, especially not now.” He gripped you stubbornly, searching for your eyes.

“Taehyung, for the love of God just let me go-”

“I said no!” Taehyung's volume suddenly pierced the room, his intense aura stilling you. 

He didn't sound angry. rather in need, like he was calling out to you with his entire heart and the tight hold on your arms gave it all away. 

You finally decided to pay attention to him. His tone beyond serious, his eyes swimming with worry. His miserable face and refusal to let you go regrettably softened you. You understood him, saw the desperation and concern behind all his actions. 

But he chose to neglect you. He made you feel alone, made you overthink numerous possibilities about your relationship and even question his feelings for you.

"You.." You exhaled with agony, swallowing hard. 

None of this was easy, the nights you spent curled up on the couch overthinking, lying to everyone that you were okay, working in the studio alone to get him off your mind, blaming yourself. The accumulated pain of all those days now manifested in your chest all at once, making your heart ache. 

"You made me feel like I wasn't important to you, like I wasn't worth your time. I.. thought you found someone better, easier.. that I wasn't enough for you." Your voice crumbled by the second, your mind jumping to the one conclusion you tried to avoid the most but couldn't any longer. 

"I thought you weren't in love with me anymore." 

Taehyung's heart shattered into a million pieces, overwhelming hurt piercing his chest so violently that tears instantly betrayed his eyes. 

He couldn't bear any of this anymore, the tension, the distance, couldn't bear that you ever thought such an awful thing. Small tears escaped him as he gently placed his hands on your face, looking into your eyes with insurmountable pain before colliding his lips with yours. 

He kissed you tenderly, passionately, like his mouth was dying to express how much he'd missed you, and trying harder to prove how utterly wrong your last words were. Before you could even reject him, you found your own lips mirroring the same longing, the same need after a painful month apart.

Your eyes fluttered shut as tears stained your cheeks, the sheer love you could feel in his kiss suddenly brightening any parts inside you that had grown dark because of him. He began working against your mouth hungrily, trying to commit every inch of your lips to his memory. 

The kiss was fervent, utterly desperate, your harsh breaths mingling together as his hands on your cheeks wiped your tears away gingerly and yours clutched his hoodie tightly.

It's like he was consuming all of you, attempting to deepen the kiss with every second that passed by as he pulled you closer. And for once this past month, you didn't feel like questioning his feelings for you, because he was now serving them on a silver platter, making it blatantly obvious he had never once lost his love for you and will never do so. 

He kissed you like he wanted you and only you, he kissed you like you were fleeting and could disappear at any moment, he kissed you like you were his home, like you meant any and everything to him, like you were the only galaxy he believed in and it did nothing but set you both ablaze.

His tongue swiped your bottom lip impatiently, wanting to taste you after so long and you permitted absent-mindedly, damning every emotion except love and lust to hell, welcoming him. 

His tongue entangled with yours sloppily as you slid your hands up his sculpted neck, a soft groan escaping Taehyung's lips once you tugged his hair. 

It wasn't until Taehyung caught your bottom lip between his teeth that you felt something ignite inside you. You both panted as you disconnected, gazing at his dark eyes for a mere second before impatiently crashing your mouth onto his again. 

This time you caught him for a heated make out session, pulling his hair aimlessly as Taehyung pressed you against him with his arms snaking around your waist, both of you moving perfectly in sync with one other. The feeling of your bodies so close ignited your arousals, currents running through both your veins.

Taehyung pushed you back against the nearest wall, hard. You nearly yelped at the contact but Taehyung swallowed it with his eager kisses, getting rougher, sloppier, growing high off the feeling of you wanting more, him wanting so much more.

He brought his thigh in between you, pushing his hips against yours and you felt his hardness through his sweatpants. Your panties practically soaked at the contact, your moans devastatingly loud and hot and only making Taehyung harder. 

He brought his hands down to cup your ass momentarily as he kissed you, sliding them to the back of your thighs. You kicked yourself off the ground into his hold, legs grappling Taehyung's waist as he forced you back up against the wall. Your hands grabbed his jaw tightly, wanting all of him as your tongues moulded together. 

Taehyung felt his urges to touch you overwhelm him, utterly dying to hear you desperately say his name and moan breathlessly into his ear. He had gone too long, far too long without feeling you lose yourself to him that he needed you now. 

One of Taehyung's impatient hands moved up to fumble with the button of your jeans, disconneting to look into your eyes, his pink, swollen lips irresistible. 

"Have you been touching yourself?" He breathed hard and asked mere centimeters your mouth, forehead leaning on yours. 

"B-barely. I couldn't get myself off the same way." You exhaled harshly trying to calm down, mind woozy from the sheer adrenaline he was pumping through you. "You?" 

"Tried, but nothing felt like you." 

Taehyung returned his lips to yours breathlessly and unzipped roughly, sliding his hand inside and finding your already sopping wet heat. His fingers made contact through the soaked material and you let out a satisfied moan, throwing your head back against the wall. Taehyung chuckled proudly, pressing his lips to your exposed neck as he began lewdly rubbing your folds. 

Your walls clenched around nothing, begging for something to fill you up. You shamelessly rode against his fingers, desperate for more friction and Taehyung absolutely adored how needy you were. 

He smirked to himself as he pushed your underwear aside, his fingertips suddenly touching your bare pussy and you automatically felt sparks, gasping. 

Taehyung felt your delicious wetness and a satisfied groan left his lips. He couldn’t stop rubbing you, playing with your folds like it was a game he mastered ages ago. His digits spread you all over yourself, teasing you. He purposefully brushed over your clit multiple times and you felt nothing but fireworks, the heat between your legs growing so hot you clutched onto his shoulders to stay sane.

"Fuck.. Taehyung fuck! If you go inside.. I can't.. I'll fucking lose it." You stammered out, trying to relax but Taehyung eyed your panting figure with a smirk so evil you wished he'd just fuck you against this wall right now. 

Taehyung brought his lips to your ear and spoke lowly, the bass in his voice sending chills down your spine. 

"Then fucking lose it." 

Without warning, Taehyung shoved his two fingers inside you, a smug grin decorating his gorgeous face as he watched you nearly cry out, gripping harder into his hair and shoulder for dear life. His fingers began sliding in and out, your walls welcoming him greedily as he pumped you, milking out every beautiful sound you could make for him as he relished in them. 

Taehyung was already the hardest man on Earth, his cock painfully tucked away in his pants and aching to be inside you. You brought your forehead against his for support as he went harder, your breaths melding as you panted fucked out moans from the sheer bliss of his long fingers, just something of his dragging inside you. 

Your body moved up against the rougher thrusts of his fingers, practically fucking you open and the delectable sting certifying you’d lost it for Kim Taehyung. 

You suddenly felt your insides beginning to stir around him and you panicked, not wanting to let go just yet, just on his fingers. 

"T-Taehyung.. shit.. I can feel but- but not just on this." Your head was so gone a coherent sentence seemed impossible. Taehyung's fingers curled up inside you as he pumped a little harder, faster, making you whimper against his mouth and he used every ounce of strength he had not to swallow them with kisses, just so he could hear you. 

"Taehyung, please.." You moaned loudly and held onto him so desperately that Taehyung finally snapped, his dick throbbing to have you wrapped around him and hear his name just like that.

"Fuck this." Taehyung pulled his fingers out and carried you straight into your room.

He threw you down onto the bed hurriedly, his eyes blown out as he positioned himself above you. You breathed unevenly as you looked up at him, his body rising and falling quickly as he tried to control himself and his hungry look made you push your thighs together. 

The sight of your flushed cheeks and panting body underneath him made Taehyung's dominant side thrive. He drank you in greedily, registering this as the first time in a month he had you all to himself. 

"You don't fucking know, Y/N. All those times I had to hold back. When you walked around the studio looking sexy as hell, moving your body like pure sin, and I couldn't do a single thing to you." Taehyung's dark eyes indicated something had awakened inside him.

"What do you mean?" 

Taehyung scoffed, "You just don't get it." He mimicked you from earlier. “I was putting on a front and none of it was true. Every fucking time I saw you I wanted to lose it. Every time I saw you concentrating with that look, working, seeing your exposed skin, all the times I caught you practically eye-fucking me and I wanted to eye-fuck you back." Taehyung breathed out, voicing his pent up tension. 

"But you know what was worse? The times I saw you laughing with fucking Jungkook, screwing around with Jin-hyung, the guys acting so close with you. Watching back-up dancers eye-fuck you, hearing all their fucking comments about how hot you are, people asking if you’re single now, and I couldn't do shit because everyone was always around, watching." Taehyung breathed frustratedly, dangerous eyes locked on you.

"You know I don't get openly jealous, but my blood still boils under my skin when I see or hear those things, especially when I can’t do anything about it. I wanted you.. so badly, just wanted to take you right there in front of everyone if I could.." Taehyung nearly growled as his head hung low, entangling his hands with yours and squeezing them on the bed. 

"Then why didn't you?" 

Taehyung's eyes flashed up amusedly, "Why didn’t-you wanted me to do something in front of everyone?” His confusion softened into a little smirk. 

“You wanted to be watched, huh?" Taehyung lowered himself to your ear.  "Wanted everyone see the way I fuck you? See the way I make you mine? Fuck you open for me?” Taehyung was setting your core on fire and you had to bite your lip. 

He noticed and hated that his lips weren't on yours, quickly planting them for a kiss. 

The weight of Taehyung's leg pushing against your throbbing heat started compromising your sense of control, wanting to rile him up so bad he'll have no choice but to give you what you want. 

"Fuck, this is what I've been waiting for. Teasing you under me, cumming just from my fingers and tongue, fucking you senseless until you’re cumming again." Taehyung's words were filthy as ever and you loved every syllable. 

"Then do it." 

He smiled smugly as his mouth moved to the one spot on your neck he knew leaves you squirming. Curses left your mouth the second you felt his teeth, Taehyung adamant on leaving deep, purple marks. 

“I'm gonna show everyone you're mine, only mine.” Taehyung’s authoritative voice came out breathy as he kissed and bit in between, obsessed with seeing the art he was creating. 

"Shit… Taehyung yes, I missed you, I missed you so fucking much." You desperately stammered out.

"I fucking missed you too, baby." He smiled, his dark eyes glancing from your zip-up sweater and back to you. "But first, off."

Your hands moved for the zipper until Taehyung caught your wrists and forced them back against the bed, obsidian eyes scolding you. 

"That's my job." Taehyung spoke dominantly, hot as fuck as he stared at you while bringing his mouth down to your zipper.

His teeth caught it and slowly zipped down your body, pronouncedly breathing against your bare skin that made you hiss, arching up into him as he held your hands down. 

Taehyung was welcomed by your bra-cladded chest, basking in the glory of seeing your body after so long. He began laying kisses in between your breasts, his every contact electric. 

"Taehyung, please.. don't tease. It’s been so long." 

"We'll see about that."

He reached a hand underneath your back to unclip your bra, practically ripping the clothes off you and chucking them. 

Taehyung was heating up drinking you in, cursing at how even the sight of your naked top was making him somehow harder. 

"Shit, Jagi. You're so fucking gorgeous." Taehyung stated with haste as his large hands found your thighs that rested either side of his hips. He then slowly slid them up your abdomen, cupping your breasts and fingering your nipples. Your hands reached out to hold onto him as you exclaimed but he roughly pinned them above you, restricting you. 

He lowered himself to your chest for hickeys, kissing, licking, nibbling the flesh of your boobs. You arched and groaned as he held you down, sexually frustrated as he torturously teased you. 

"Taehyung, please… you know what I want." You breathed out, your hands resisting but he kept denying you. 

"You’re so fucking hot like this, so impatient and needy for me." Taehyung groaned, lapping his tongue over the flesh of your breasts until the tip of his tongue finally glided over your perched nipple.

You gasped at the contact, whimpering as your walls clenched around something non-existent and you bucked up into Taehyung. You could feel heat pooling at your core, begging to be battered as he sucked on your nipples, tongue doing wonders.  

Marks now embellished your chest as he kissed down to your stomach affectionately and neared your lower half, exciting your opening. 

Your eyes darted down and suddenly caught his length, poking out from his sweatpants and practically begging for attention. 

He instantly took notice. 

"No, princess. It’s about you tonight, not me, no touching." Taehyung ordered seriously, looking at you with a sense of dominance that only left you more aroused. 

You made a whiny noise, "Why not? I want to make you feel good." You retorted, wiggling your hand out to touch him until Taehyung locked you down harder. 

He clicked his tongue as he began pulling your pants and panties down your legs with one hand, his dark eyes chastising you, "We'll get to me another day." He disregarded them and let his hand feel up your thighs, bringing his face to your entrance.  

"But right now, having you like this, begging-” he nipped at your inner thigh, “making those sounds-” he licked the marks, “wet as hell for me-” he sucked your flesh, “that's all I need." His tone dropped an octave, letting your wrists go and nearing your cunt inch by inch. 

"Taehyung, fuck-don't do this. Please, it's been too long, don't tease.." You pleaded, hating the way he was shamelessly working you up.

"Do you need me, baby?" Taehyung watched your breath hitch as he kissed around your nether lips. "Need to feel me inside you? Stretch you out? Fuck the shit out of you?" His low, dark tone made butterflies fill your abdomen and all you could manage was a light nod.

"Tell me, Jagiya. Tell me what you want from me, where you want me.." Taehyung breathed against your soaked pussy and you shivered, beyond impatient. 

"Y-your tongue, your cock, Taehyung, you. Please..I can’t do this.. just fuck me, make me come all over you.." You rambled and looked at Taehyung through hooded eyes. You grabbed one of his hands and brought him directly to your dripping heat, rubbing him against your slit unforgivingly.

Taehyung groaned proudly, "Good girl. I'll fuck you so good you’ll feel me for hours, so hard I’ll have to carry you to rehearsals myself." Taehyung's filthy words rang in your ears. 

A loud moan escaped you once Taehyung's pillowy lips and tongue pressed onto your pussy, your breath hitching as his muscle began licking into your folds. Taehyung hooked onto your thighs from underneath, parting your legs wider for him. Your hands found his broad shoulders for support and you tugged at his hoodie frantically, whining. 

"Taehyung, off.." 

Taehyung drew away from you to slide his top off. He threw the sweater mindlessly as he returned, deciding to sink two fingers inside you as his tongue began licking. His newly exposed skin made you feel more aroused, tugging his soft curls to manage the bliss he was supplying you. 

His tongue licked you like he was starving, sucking and flicking your clit occasionally as his fingers curled up inside your velvety walls. You felt like crying, after such a long time the pleasure was already building up inside you and so intense you needed to let go. 

"Taehyung-Tae.. I feel it. Don't stop..." You moaned weakly, your orgasm dawning on you as Taehyung quickened his pace. His dark eyes watched you through his fluffy fringe and it was intoxicating, had you throwing your head back against the pillow just to contain yourself. 

"Come for me baby, come all over my tongue and fingers. I wanna hear you.” Taehyung cooed at you as he pumped and the tip of his tongue played with your clit faster, soothing your thigh and adoring the wet mess in between you. Your loud moans and groans sent shivers down Taehyung's spine and blood straight to his cock. 

The familiar sensation of something coiling came to you, gripping Taehyung's hair until you saw stars and felt a fierce snap, the unholiest of noises leaving you as your back arched. You panted hard, bringing an arm up to shield your eyes, the pleasure of your high dizzying as Taehyung watched you, tasting and fingering out your orgasm. 

He kissed your entrance multiple times before he decided he was done. He straightened himself up and wiped your juices off his chin, licking your essence off him. Feeling you come undone on his mouth made him go feral, needing to feel your walls hug his cock just the same.

He positioned himself above you, gently moving your arm from your face. 

"Don't hide from me." he spoke softly, intertwining his hands with yours against the pillow to adore your fucked out expression. 

You admired him innocently in the moment, his honey-coloured skin kissed by the moonlight radiating through the windows. The expanse of his broad chest and shoulders looking more bulky now that he was working out, his thick neck, the beautifully visible veins in his arms that all created the art that was Kim Taehyung. 

Your eyes scanned over him greedily until you landed on his lower half, the tent in his pants looking so painful you again ached to relieve it.

Taehyung eyed you as you licked your lips, boldly reaching out for his dick. You touched sparingly, Taehyung instantly letting out a pleasurable groan until he caught your hand.

"What did I say? You never fucking listen, do you?" Taehyung brat-handled you, his alpha male on full display. 

“What if I don’t want to listen?” You disobeyed and reached out again, gaining full contact until he grabbed and forced your hand against the sheets. 

“I’ll make you regret that." 

Taehyung quickly shuffled his pants and boxers down and past his hips, disregarding them and leaving him bare before you. 

Your eyes began ogling the angry, red tipped cock that had sprung out, looking painfully uncomfortable and leaving you wishing Taehyung had just fucked your mouth just watch him suffer. He was already leaking precum, making you whimper at the thought of him coming inside you. 

Taehyung positioned himself in between your legs, bringing his dick to your entrance. He tried to bite away a mischievous grin before sliding his cock against your folds to mix your wetness with his.

"Shit, Jagi, you're so fucking wet." Taehyung moaned with you at the pleasurable feeling. 

"Fuck, Taehyung…I can’t, I need.. inside." Your sentence was mangled, his hot flesh against you heavenly. 

"Shit, saying my name like that..I’ll fuck you so hard you’ll feel me in your throat." Taehyung growled, gripping the base of his cock and aligning himself with your entrance. You readied yourself until Taehyung stopped, a thought suddenly popping into his head. 

"Wait, you got your shot this month, right? You're okay with raw?" He asked with no particular haste, concern glossing over his eyes. 

Taehyung's chest suddenly tightened realizing he didn't even know something as simple as you getting your shot, important to him since your phobia of needles was so bad you usually needed to hold his hand or talk to him on the phone. 

But he was so busy this month he couldn't do either.  

"Of course, Taehyung, of course I did." You breathed out erratically, trying to calm down after his tormenting cock sliding. You gave his hand that held yours against the bed a squeeze, wishing he would begin battering your insides already. 

"Fuck, I know how much you're afraid of needles.. I should've been there." Taehyung became disappointed in himself, eyes faltering from yours. 

You immediately grew soft, "Taehyung.. it's okay, if it's for you then I'm not so scared. Don't worry, bubs." You said as you let go of his hands to cup his cheeks, searching for his eyes. 

"But you get them just for me..even though you're so scared. I love you for that." Taehyung doted on you as he tucked your hair behind your ear, completely contrasting his cock about to abuse you. 

"Taehyung, baby it’s okay, I'm okay. I'm with you right now. I want everything you thought of, everything you want with me… I want you." You looked into his doe eyes tinted with guilt, offering him a smile. 

Taehyung returned a light smile of his own, pressing a feathery kiss to your lips before he grabbed the base of his cock again. He gripped your hand hard as his dick compromised your opening. 

He hissed once he sank in, the feeling of your pussy opening up for him eliciting a drawn out 'fuck' to leave his mouth. 

Taehyung could feel how tight you were after a month without him; you weren't as stretched out and he felt drunk. The way your walls hugged his rock hard dick so snug, so intoxicating he wanted to completely lose control but refrained with you in mind. 

You thought you were used to the pleasurable burn of Taehyung's gifted size, already aware of how well-endowed he is but you suddenly felt a harsh sting and forced your hands against his chest, exasperating. Taehyung immediately stopped, widening his eyes in concern. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Just-just give me a second." He nodded, feeling your breaths calm down as he soothed over your arm, your walls relaxing

"Y-you can move." You voiced weakly. 

Taehyung complied and moved in considerately, failing to suppress the low groans that left him. He finally bottomed out and hit your cervix, both of you letting out satisfied grunts at the feeling of him buried so deep. He could feel the way your walls pulsed around him to adjust, adding to his lists of reasons he was insane for you. 

Taehyung kissed you as he began fucking gently, slowly, wanting to feel the way you wrapped around him, craving for you to feel every inch, groove and vein of his cock. 

The feeling of him slowly and languidly thrusting inside you felt otherworldly, the longing, the care, the love in his movements so apparent you grappled the back of his neck to hug him closer. Taehyung rocked himself against you, laying deep kisses to your mouth.

"Fuck, baby.. you're so tight." Taehyung breathed out, unable to hold back his sense of control, gradually fastening his pace to fuck you better, feel more. 

"How does it feel, princess, tell me." Taehyung cooed into your ear, now kissing underneath your jaw. Your lewd noises grew louder as he began pumping faster and Taehyung looked at you. 

"Shit, Taehyung. I-I feel so fucking good. You fill me up so good… want more.” You practically whined, head spinning at his intoxicating pace, wrapping your legs around Taehyung's torso to feel him deeper. 

Taehyung weakened at the feeling, kissing your lips with fervor and now thrusting faster as his need to come undone racked his balls, but aching to treat you first. His skin was imprinted with your scratches, him only fucking you faster in response. 

"Harder, Taehyung, fuck me harder..!" Your voice trailed with a mewl, kissing him sloppily as your desire for more of him grew unbearable. 

Taehyung smirked against your lips, "You want it harder, huh? You like that? Want me to fuck up your insides? Batter this pussy up?" 

"Y-yes, Taehyung, please." 

Taehyung already felt fucked out, wrestling with your tongue as he wrapped his arms around your torso and pressed you flush against him. You both groaned louder as his pace turned unforgiving, 99% sure your neighbours could hear every lewd sound. 

"Taehyung.. fuck. I missed you. I missed you so much!” You spoke without a thought, light-headed but hyper aware of just how much you wanted him, needed him, not only with his cock buried inside you but just him, so close to you. 

"Shit, baby.. I missed you more. So much. So fucking much, you don’t even know." Taehyung growled desperately as he fucked deeper, kissed harder, his tone coated with sincerity. 

Both your confessions made for rougher fucking, nasty tongue kissing, tighter grasps on each other. You rutted against one another shamelessly, movements faltering in precision and more so in desperation as Taehyung shoved himself inside you. 

And he watched as he did, seeing the way he disappeared into you between your bodies and enjoying the way you bounced in response. 

"Taehyung, fuck, Taehyung.." You moaned out his name breathlessly as you gripped his shoulders, feeling your abdomen flood with heat as his cock kissed your cervix. 

"Jagiya, fucking-watch it, say my name like that again and I'll fuck the living shit out of you." Taehyung warned with a growl as he rammed into you. 

"T-Taehyung.."

“Such a bad fucking girl." 

His arms suddenly locked you down in place, holding you tight as he began the roughest, hardest thrusts you've felt all night. Taehyung deliberately pulled all the way out only to smash back in as he felt your body jerk up in response, swallowing your whimpers.

Your moans were loud, ringing in your own ears as you felt yourself losing your sanity. He snapped into your gut, filled you up so good all you could feel was him. Your orgasm was bubbling in your stomach, begging for release now. 

"Taehyung, I'm gonna- fuck, I'm gonna come!”  You warned him with a pitchy yelp, the tingling feeling unbearable as his body rubbed against your clit. 

"Come for me, baby, all over my fucking cock, Let me feel you." Taehyung encouraged as he desperately tried to hold his own load, wanting nothing but to witness the way you came underneath him.

And out of nowhere your second orgasm washed over you, barely noticing the snap as you ached from oversensitivity and protested him to a halt. Taehyung controlled himself as your walls continuously clamped down on him, watching you pant from fatigue. 

But he decided on your punishment and suddenly flipped you onto your stomach, instinctively settling on all fours as you felt him prod your entrance. He pushed you to arch your back and pulled your ass up, giving a nice smack before kissing up your back like the demon he is. He sank in with no warning and began drilling into you again, setting a merciless pace and angling himself to fuck you completely open. 

“T-Taehyung, what are you doing!”

“You’re coming for me again.”  

“I can’t- Taehyung I can’t!” Your hand quickly came down to entangle with his on your hip, his deft fingers boring into your skin as he mercilessly buried every inch of his cock into you.

“You can do it! Just one more time for me princess, let go for me.” He coaxed you as he felt your walls pulsating around him again, his arms hugging your body to his and mouth breathing unevenly near your ear. 

"Taehyung, Ah- fuck! C-come inside me, please!”

"Shit, I’ll stuff you with my cum, fucking give you my kids!”  Taehyung grunted as he continued bartering your pussy, reaching down to roughly rub your clit. You cried out, half from sensitivity but half from pure pleasure, gripping his hand hard. 

You felt the coil coming back for a third time and Taehyung’s encourgements were doing absolute wonders. "Taehyung-shit I’m gonna..fuck!”

Once he delivered a particularly hard, deep thrust with his hand on your clit, you gasped out his name as another orgasm released through your body, temporarily blinding you with bliss. Your legs grew weak as you buried your face into the pillow, trying to catch your breath. 

“Just like that, baby, just like that.” Taehyung spoke supportively as he thrusted one last time before finally coming inside you, helping you ride out your climax. He groaned into your ear as he spurted hot stripes of cum inside you. You squeezed his hand on your stomach that still held you up, feeling him milk himself of every drop he had racked up just for you. 

Once Taehyung felt completely vacant of his seed, relief washed over him as he kissed your upper back, both of your bodies lax and panting for air. 

"You're amazing." Taehyung tried steadying his breathing, beaming as he hugged you from behind, cock still throbbing inside you. "I fucking… I held that back for so long."  

"You didn’t have to… I would've thrown myself at you if you just came home." You breathed shallowly.  "Could've done whatever you wanted.. I planned...on treating you cause you were so stressed." 

Taehyung rolled his eyes at himself, "Ugh-don’t remind me. I already feel dumb as fuck." 

You turned your head back and scolded jokingly, "Don't call yourself dumb, only I get to say that." A soft giggle escaped him as he let you go. Taehyung slowly pulled out and watched as he did so, viewing the mess in between your legs with admiration. 

Taehyung swiped the cum dripping down your thighs back into your core, completely stuffing you with him until he brought his fingers to your lips. He watched you lick provocatively, his breath hitching at the sight until needing to pull his fingers out. 

He then quickly made off the bed and ambled over to the bathroom, retrieving a damp towel and cleaning you up gingerly. He plopped down next to you after discarding it and threw an arm over his eyes. 

You turned to look at him, feeling the butterflies of him next to you flood your chest. You wiggled closer and propped yourself on an elbow to gaze at him, your other arm laying on his chest. 

Taehyung felt your eyes on him and spoke without looking. "Hi."

"Hi," you moved his arm from his face, echoing him. "Don’t hide from me."

Taehyung grinned at you, lifting his arm. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" 

"Like you're madly in love with me. Don’t do that, I don't really deserve it." He stated dejectedly, evading your eyes to rather view the night sky. 

"Kim Taehyung, what did you just say to me?" 

No response. 

You sighed, "Bubs, look at me." requesting with a softer tone and he returned his eyes to you hesitantly. You wagged your finger at him.

"Don't say that, okay? Maybe you should’ve told me, maybe I should’ve been more vocal about my feelings, maybe we both should’ve just communicated. It's not only your fault, it's mine too so please don't say that." Your bottom lip jutted out and your eyes implored him, upset that he was insulting himself. 

He deserved every ounce of love in this world. 

"Maybe.. I just..Fuck, you need to know I hated doing it, okay? Every time I saw you in that building I was dying to be with you, but I had to hold back to protect you. I couldn’t bear something happening to you, and please, please don’t think I don’t love you anymore. I do, I love you more than you’ll ever know. If I could throw all of this away for you I would." Taehyung spoke sincerely, remembering the way he saw you admit such an awful thought and he hated that he was the cause of it.

"You really don’t know how hard it was. I’m writing lyrics for my mixtape and they all end up about you. We're out at a photoshoot and I always wanted to send you pictures. I didn’t use SNS, call or text you because I knew it’d just be harder for me to create that stupid ass distance.” Taehyung ran a hand through his hair as he sighed, frustrated about it. 

“Even when I was shooting commercials I thought about your reactions if you saw them. I missed you the whole time, more than you know. I just couldn’t risk anything, there was so much on the line with you and I wasn’t going to give you up. Work got in the way and there was so much happening and I just-" 

“Shh shhh.” You calmed him down reaching for his cheek. “Thank you for that. I'm sorry you had to do everything by yourself, had to carry all that responsibility alone." Your lips quivered, catching Taehyung's attention. 

"No, it's okay. I'm the one who made you think all those shitty things. I do find you annoying, but I could never find you that annoying." Taehyung quipped to lighten the mood and you smacked his chest. 

"Hey!" 

"I'm kidding, Jagi." Taehyung chuckled before letting out a long, hard sigh. "I was just so swamped with this comeback, I’m working really hard for it and got too focused." He explained regretfully, tucking his hands underneath his head. 

"So you just thought fuck me for a little while, right?"

"Wha-no I didn't, I mean.. I did just fuck you but-not like that…shit, just come here!” Taehyung suddenly turned onto his side and threw his arms out, you scooted over to him instantly, giggling. He tightly wrapped his arms around you and hugged you close, pressing his lips to your hair and you kissed his shoulder.

Your hand absentmindedly found his and you intertwined them, causing a warm and comforting feeling to spread across your chest. 

You found yourself becoming smaller in his hold, clutching his hand to compose yourself because you didn't feel like ruining a passionate night with tears. 

Nonetheless, Taehyung sensed you growing vulnerable and pulled you on top of him, your naked bodies flush against one another. Taehyung immediately showered you with comfort, clutching you close to him.

"I’m not going anywhere, you’re with me for a lifetime, Jagiya." The smooth bass of Taehyung's voice eased you, reverberating from his chest as he senselessly soothed your back.

"Please, don't do that again. Please just tell me next time when there's a problem, I'll tell you too and we can work it out together." A hint of desperation tinted your tone, shutting your lips together to prevent yourself from crying.

"I won't, baby, I promise." Taehyung hugged you a little tighter, running a hand through your hair. 

"I love you, Taehyung." 

"I love you, Y/N." 

[absolutepokemontrash]

The Brothers and Side Characters Go on a Road Trip!

So, Diavolo, Lord of the Devildom, wants to go on a road trip for reasons unknown. You know what? Screw it, the reason is because Dia wants to do a fun human thing because MC brought it up during tea time. No one can defy the king, so TIME FOR A ROAD TRIP!

Shut Up! HE DOESN’T NEED DIRECTIONS! (Lucifer)

He was going to turn that car around. That’s it, he was going to leave. Someone else drive.

I hope your MC likes staticky traffic updates because that’s what Lucifer constantly had on the radio.

Obviously, some of the brothers complained, so Lucifer put on Beethoven’s Symphony no. 9. HELL YEAH TURN IT UP DJ!

Lol JK no one can car-dance to classical music. Just go back to the staticky traffic updates…

Lucifer would have preferred it if MC or Barbatos were riding shotgun next to him, but Diavolo ended up getting it. Dia is constantly asking Lucifer to stop so he can take pictures of the most mundane shit.

Lucifer stopped stopping after the first fifteen requests.

“I’m not stopping at McDonalds- hang on. Hi McDonald’s employee, one black coffee please.”

In true father fashion, Lucifer got lost and REFUSED to ask for directions. They were lost for five hours before Diavolo finally asked:

“Lucifer, you can turn on the GPS right?”

“Yes, but I don’t trust it.”

Everyone screamed in frustration and were all fully prepared to abandon Lucifer at the side of the road.

Please… can someone else drive? Anyone else…

Are We There Yeeeet..? (Mammon)

Okay, so, Mammon was one of two ways on that road trip. One: complete ADHD daydream zoned out. Or type Two: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREEEEE WEEEEEEEE THEEEEEEEEERRRRRREEEE YEEEEEEET???!

He wanted to stop and go to all the tourist traps, by the end of the road trip Mammon wanted to open his own.

The Avatar of Greed loves driving, problem is, he’s used to driving off into the sunset as a lone bachelor, not with his friends and brothers in the car as well.

He only got to drive once, and it was awful. 0/10 would not recommend. Luke thought MC was driving and called shotgun…

Mammon just turns on the radio for music and hopes something good is on at least ONE channel.

STOP WEAVING BETWEEN LANES YOU MORON-

Not all of Mammon’s time driving was bad, the combined powers of Luke and Mammon meant that everyone stopped at a petting zoo at the side of the road. Everyone had a good time, even though when they got back into the car they all smelled like a farm.

Did anyone else hear that oinking in the car-

*Vibes to Music in the Backseat* (Levi)

After being cruelly dragged from his room and placed in this stupid van… he just climbed into the backseat and put on his headphones.

Maybe anime openings could drown out this problem…

Levi only drove for fifteen minutes, it was the most terrifying fifteen minutes of everyone’s lives.

Mario Kart is not a substitute for proper driving school!

Listen- Levi actually saved the entire trip, after stopping at a gas station everyone noticed that Levi never complained about what was on the radio because he was wearing headphones, so everyone bought their own pair and the car trip was so much more pleasant…

No matter how many times Lucifer told Levi to get his feet off the seat, he wouldn’t listen, he was GAMING and they took him away from his gaming chair! HE NEEDED TO SCRUNCH HIMSELF UP LIKE A GOBLIN TO FOCUS DAMMIT!

Whenever the car would stop so everyone could get out and take a picture or look at something, Levi had to be practically dragged out of the car and manually posed for the pictures.

“Is this one of those vans with TVs in them? I brought the first five volumes of TSL on DVD!”

While Satan was driving they stopped at a lake, and Levi burst out of the car and made friends with all the lake fish.

He was still soaking wet when they had to leave.

I’m a Responsible Driver- IS THAT AN OLD BOOKSTORE?! (Satan)

Satan, we believed in you…

Our favourite nerd wanted to stop at any and all historical spots or cool looking bookstores he saw.

When everyone went to buy headphones, he got a pair with cat-ears on them! Because obviously!

Satan’s a responsible driver, and he’s not as prone to road rage as one might think. He has patience, remember in the Jobs event when he worked in customer service? Those kinds of jobs take a godlike amount of self control to do.

Asmo called shotgun and Satan got to have the wonderful experience of having his ear chatted off by his dear brother.

Satan was not about to have fast food for the eighth time in four days, if everyone wanted food, he’d stop at a restaurant.

He was terribly sorry to anyone who needed to use the restroom, but they should have gone at the last rest stop.

When Satan stopped at the lake, he gave everyone a long lecture on the historical significance of the place, then noticed that Levi was being crowned king of the lake and decided he should cut his history lesson short before Levi abandoned his family to chill with the fish forever.

I wanted Satan to be the normal chill one with the radio… I really did… but deep in my subconscious I feel like Satan would put on one of those language learning DVDs so he can learn another language on the go like a total dork.

Road Rage (Asmodeus)

No one saw this coming but- Asmo gets some B A D road rage. Someone cuts him off? “Hi hello dear, WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS?!” Someone doesn’t use a turn signal? “YOU BRAIN DEAD MORON! LEARN TO DRIVE!” Someone just pisses him off? “*prolonged horn sound*”

It’s just… the car trip was so taxing on the poor Avatar of Lust… he was crammed into the middle seat for the majority of the trip… he had to give his sleeping mask to Belphie… Beel was getting crumbs all over him and he couldn’t move over… just so tragic…

Solomon called shotgun and it was the greatest couple of hours of his life. He got a front row seat to Lucifer and Barbatos dragging Asmo back into the car because he tried to pick a fight with another driver.

Asmo wasn’t having a good time…

He didn’t want to stop for any gas station food or go through a drive-thru so it was another expensive restaurant trip. Rest In Peace to the gang’s wallets.

When he wasn’t driving, Asmo was loudly talking with MC or talking on the phone. It was a blessing in disguise when they went through an area with bad phone reception and Asmo finally had to shut up.

Oh well… at least he got a few nice pictures for Devilgram.

MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! (Beel)

We all know Beel is massive, right? His head is touching the ceiling and every speed-bump hurt.

He’s the one begging to stop at every gas station or fast food place they pass by.

Beel’s section in the car was covered in empty bags of Doritos by the end of the trip.

When Beel got to drive, Belphie got shotgun! Hell yeah dream team!

Poor Beel, he got distracted and ended up somehow popping a tire. He pulled over next to a farm, changed the tire, then got back in the car and kept driving.

Uh… there was an awful lack of snoring next to Beel- OH FUCK THEY LEFT BELPHIE!

Belphie was found sleeping next to the cows on the farm they had stopped at earlier.

The cows didn’t want to give their sleepy god up so easily…

After that… Beel didn’t want to drive anymore…

“Look, cows.” (Belphie)

I really need to stop with the cow jokes but I CAN’T

*snore*

Belphie’s crammed between Beel and MC for most of the trip and is probably drooling all over poor MC’s lap or shoulder.

Beware, he jolts up randomly and looks around in a panic before he realizes he’s in a car. This happens every three hours.

Belphie’s not allowed to drive, he’d fall asleep. But when Lucifer takes the wheel and puts on that fucking staticky radio, Belphie forms an idea.

“*ahem* four thousand bottles of beer on the wall, four thousand bottles of beer,”

Mission success, Lucifer wanted to tear his hair out.

Belphie ended up asking to stop when they get to a stretch of road with no streetlights, everyone got out of the and stared at the stars.

…listen, it’s a miracle no one got axe murdered but the stars were gorgeous.

Remember when I said Satan put on those language learning DVDs? Yeah uh…. Belphie woke up from his last nap of the trip almost fully fluent in Spanish. At least one person gained a new skill on this trip…

Oooo, Look at Thaaaaat! (Diavolo)

Even though the side characters were in a different car most of the time, sometimes people would switch to the other car if they met up at a gas station.

By the end of the road trip Dia looked like one of those tourist dads, Hawaiian shirt and all.

Dia can’t drive

He’s absorbing human culture… and human culture involves ordering everything at this random Wendy’s.

Diavolo’s camera roll is so unbelievably full by the end of the trip and he refuses to delete ANY of the pictures.

Most of the pictures are of really weird and boring stuff, like traffic signs and trees, but the picture he ends up printing out and putting in a picture frame is a picture of the whole group at the petting zoo having a grand old time.

He wanted to take home a baby goat but Barbatos said that wasn’t a good idea :(

Help. (Barbatos)

So, it could have been worse for Barbatos, he could have been stuck in the car with the brothers and MC.

Dia always had the seat up front, but when he left the car to go hang out with the dude-squad, Solomon got the passenger seat.

Solomon decided it would be a good idea to pester Barbatos to go faster and take weird shortcuts through (probably not legal) backroads and creepy forest paths.

Good thing Barbatos, Luke, and Simeon had functioning brain cells and knew that’s how horror movies began.

Barbatos stopped for fast food once and only once. It’s not healthy!

He’s the only driver to take suggestions for music, meaning that the side characters’ car was the best one of the two.

“SOMEONE GET THE BARF BAG!”(Simeon)

He’s just… he’s just trying his best not to vomit…

Simeon thought the car would be a good place to get some writing done while they drove down long stretches of road. Simeon was wrong in that assumption.

With his head down way too much while the car zoomed down the highway, Simeon felt himself getting *very* sick about four hours in.

He was worried he may have accidentally eaten something of Solomon’s… but nope. The angel was carsick.

Luke had the important job of patting Simeon on the back as he leaned over the barf-bag while Solomon dry heaved up front.

Hurry and open the windows before Solomon barfs too!!!!

Other than the car sickness, he had the job of making sure Luke was entertained, there was a good hour of eye-spy until they just got to a stretch of forest.

After that, Simeon realized that he could just give Luke free permission to ramble about whatever he wanted and that would keep the little guy entertained for HOURS.

What do You Mean I Can’t Legally Make This Turn?! (Solomon)

Shifty bastard can drive, problem is, he doesn’t care about the laws of the road.

He ended up getting pulled over after breaking approximately 11 traffic laws in less than ten minutes.

“License and registration.” “Yeah yeah yeah…” “…sir, this license expired in 1989.” “…shit.”

Solomon gunned it and managed to use his magic to hide the car and evade the very confused traffic cop.

Luke was completely aghast at the flagrant law breaking, but Solomon’s excuse was that the 80s were a lawless wasteland and he completely forgot he legally had to update his license.

He’s an equally obnoxious passenger as he is driver, but at least no one in the car is bored.

“You know, back in the day cars didn’t have seatbelts.” “Solomon put your seatbelt back on.”

…Can we keep it? (Luke)

He was against this from the start. A road trip? With those nasty demons? No! Never!

Okay fine… maybe he wanted to see some more of the human world… he agreed to go.

After helping Simeon through his car sickness, he misheard the other car say that MC would be driving, and Luke wanted to hang out with his third parent 🥺

That’s how he ended up riding shotgun next to Mammon. It started out rough, but when the two spotted the petting zoo it was all sunshine and rainbows.

Luke made friends with all the animals! He was like a little Disney Prince. He got especially attached to this one piglet, it was a surprise to Simeon that the goodbye wasn’t tearful.

Luke smuggled that piglet out of the petting zoo and they were all over fifty miles away before anyone noticed.

Of course, everyone was just shocked that Luke had stolen something, but he looked so cute holding the little piggy… awwww…

The bros obviously joked that Luke had gone to the dark side and was totally evil because he had taken the pig, much to the poor kid’s dismay.

Simeon tried to convince Luke that he needed to return the piglet but Luke was adamant that he could totally take good care of it.

Welp, time for Lucifer to fix this.

“Luke, you need to go put the pig back, it’s not yours.”

“No! I’ll take good care of it!”

“That doesn’t matter, you stole it. It’s not your property, do you want to end up a scummy thief like Mammon?”

“No not at all. Let’s go return the pig.”

“THAT’S ALL IT TOOK?!”

[georgiadixon]

Harder, Buck

pairing: stucky x reader or something like that

genre/warnings: nsfw, angst, fwb, cursing, mutual pining, fluffy ending, lots of bucky love <3

a/n: i've been messing around with this one for about a year and i think it's about time it sees the light of day. enjoy!

Steve can hear your moans through the wall.

They’re deafening, never-ending, piercing right through his heart and straight to his cock. The ache in his chest will surely never vanish, no matter how often he tries to stop or how excruciatingly tight he grips himself just to relieve a fraction of the heat coursing through him.

Nights like these make him feel like the walls are taunting him, begging his resolve to crush. But no matter how tight he keeps his eyes closed, the truth is impossible to deny.

He is ridiculously, overwhelmingly, unbearably in love.

He wonders if the serum is a curse, if he was damned to a life of untouchable grief. There’s no reason he should be here, no reason he should be so close but ridiculously far from the man he has given his life to time and time again.

Steve wants to punch the wall with the aggression and pain he feels from never saying anything. And then he wants to kick down the door from how he doesn’t even know what or who he would have bothered to admit feelings for. He looks at you and wishes he would have just told the damn truth and he looks at Bucky and wonders if he’s ever thinking about him, too.

Too late. You were too late. Now they’re each other’s and they’ll never be yours.

He can’t help but listen to the intruding thoughts of regret, and he can’t help but feel like the feelings inside of him that randomly creep up just don’t belong to him.

Because as adamant as you are about your relationship being strictly physical, he sees the way Bucky looks at you.

It’s the way he looks at you, too.

He thinks he loves you and he knows it’s wrong because he knows he loves Bucky and he’d be damned before he messes up the first thing to make him genuinely happy in a long, long time.

It’s easy to bury during the day, when the sunlight hits his eyes as you’re laughing at something dumb he said and he can pretend that you’re just friends. That the sound of your laugh doesn’t light up his heart in every way, that you aren’t the most beautiful fucking thing he’s ever seen.

A swirl of emotions are running through him at an unforgivable pace and he swears he would do anything to feel something other than this.

Cheap. 

He finishes in his hand with a grunt and an unmistakable pain in his chest.

Because Steve knows you’re in love and he knows this is wrong.

He’s fucked.

-

Bucky can hear Steve’s grunts through the wall.

He’s unforgivingly pounding into you, nearing breaking the headboard from how hard he’s clutching it and rocking it in time with his thrusts.

Moments like these make him wonder if the serum is a curse.

Because when he closes his eyes, if he lets himself drift, he’s back in ‘44. He’s stuck in a lopsided tent on its last legs in the backwoods of Brooklyn because “Bucky, we have to make the most out of what we have.” And even though it wasn’t much, it was enough to feel his boy in the early hours of the morning and hold him close until sunlight, knowing there might not be a tomorrow. Knowing that every single second needs to last forever because Steve was already slipping through his fingers with every passing one.

He could look his love right in the eyes, sweet and soft and suddenly bigger than him but he was still Steve and he would always need to feel his boy under him. Hot skin and sweat and groans and “Harder, Buck.”

The scratches on his back are burning but the burn is delicious and he needs to be closer.

He needs to be closer, closer to the glowing skin under him that he’s felt time and time again and he’s pulled down by the neck but it’s not him.

It’s not him. Not anymore.

He’s snapped back to reality, seeming impossibly far away but manages to focus on you again. 

“What did you say?” He’s breathless, dazed, confused. His mind is clouded from not so distant memories on the other side of the wall and the feel of you squeezing the life out of him.

“I said,” You’re breathless as well, but totally consumed with how much Bucky there really is around you, inside of you right now. You wrap your hands around his neck and kiss him, spit dripping from where your lips collide and you feel like you could swallow him whole.

“Harder, Buck.”

He gives it to you. He gives you what you need, what you want and you’re ok with being selfish because he’s not all here, and this isn’t supposed to mean anything. Not really.

It’s dirty. It’s messy. And you know it’s wrong when the distance in his eyes never leaves and you can’t help but wonder just what is going on in his mind but damn, the Bucky that is here feels good.

-

You can hear them talking about you in the next room.

It makes you nervous, being able to tell that there were underlying (or resurfacing) feelings between the soldiers from the moment you met them.

It didn’t really have anything to do with you, as you were verbally adamant to Bucky on no strings attached. Baseless, simple, easy pleasure. And damn, did James Barnes know how to deliver.

But you can’t help but think a little too hard about the way they both stare at you when they think you don’t notice, or the way they stare at each other when they think it’s not obvious.

The truth is, you can keep lying to yourself, but there’s no mistake to the feelings you get deep in your chest when Bucky’s holding you, or the feelings you get when Steve’s looking at you like your laugh is lighting up his whole world.

Feelings that don’t belong to you.

“How’s everything with Y/N going?”

You can hear Steve question Bucky about you. It’s confusing, overwhelming. This entire situation is.

You had already assumed Steve knows just about everything involving your relationship with Bucky. They’re best friends. More. But it’s easy to overanalyze and wish to know just how much he was saying when you aren’t listening. How much a “friends with benefits” situation could really warrant discussion.

“It’s alright.” You know that tone. He’s brooding. Upset about something. Or everything, it feels like sometimes. Like something is always missing.

Like the world wouldn't be enough.

“Just alright?” Steve’s ‘captain’ voice is in full effect. He’s trying to get him to talk. It doesn’t seem like it will be successful, but if anyone could pump some life into Bucky it would be Steve. Your chest aches with that thought.

You could never be enough.

You hear Bucky sigh and shuffle around. “It’s good. It’s really good.”

“But?” Steve’s smirk can be heard clearly through his words.

“How’d you know there was a but?” Bucky jokes, but it’s hard to tell sometimes. You know him well enough to be able to.

“I know you better than anyone.”

You almost want it to hurt, to be jealous because if you’re being honest there’s not much in the world you want more than to have all of Bucky Barnes, to be the one who knows him, the one who he lets in. But you can’t, because as annoying as it is, Steve Rogers is always right.

-

Bucky’s head is spinning.

Steve knows him too well to avoid his question, but his nerves are taking over and he doesn’t know how he’s going to do this, how he’s going to tell Steve everything he’s wanted to since he’s been back and everything that was never gone in the first place.

He takes a deep breath, and he thinks about you. He thinks about how he feels when he’s with you, and he thinks about how even though he knows he loves you there’s something missing.

And then he rips the 80 year old band-aid off.

“I miss you.”

It’s quiet, soft, almost imperceptible, like he’s scared of what he’s saying.

Maybe because he is.

Steve’s response sounds exactly the same.

“I’m right here, Buck.”

He scoffs at that, shaking his head and if Steve wasn’t so damn detail-oriented he wouldn’t have seen his lip quiver in quiet anticipation.

Steve knows Bucky won’t speak next, so he gulps and tries to find the words, at least the next words from the countless speeches he’s practiced in his head for this moment.

“I love her.”

Bucky looks up and locks eyes with him, and for a second Steve thinks he’s in trouble.

But Bucky smiles. He looks out towards the city through the floor-to-ceiling mirrors and sort of nods to himself at how stupid they’re all being for tip-toeing around each other.

“I know.”

Steve’s eyebrows are furrowed as he leans back a bit, waiting for something else. It doesn’t come, so he relaxes and leans further towards the man sitting across from him and stares deep into his eyes, praying he really hears his next words.

“I love you.”

Bucky smiles again.

“I know.”

He isn’t sure if he’s waiting for the right moment or just likes seeing Steve speechless, but he’s sitting on something big and it’s been far too long of almost everything he’s ever wanted.

He’s loved Steve since he was a stupid teenager. He’s been in love with Steve since the first time he punched a guy for him and swore to himself he’d never let him go.

He woke up from years of torture, not just physical but mental and emotional having to be apart for so long and never being able to forget him.

You were an accident. He didn’t mean to fall. He went along with your whole “friends with benefits” idea because he just needed to be close to you. You were entrancing, lovely, intoxicating. He needed you. He needs you. It’s been racking his brain for so long of the growing feelings he has for you and the pure need he has for Steve but he’s learning to let go and say fuck it.

I want you both. I need you both.

“Do you think we could be happy? All of us?”

Steve smiles that smile Bucky knows and loves all too much like the answer is obvious, like it always has been. He loses himself in the thought for only a moment, but long enough to miss Bucky’s face fall with worry.

“What are you scared of?”

Steve speaks as if he can read his mind, because honestly, he probably can, and Bucky looks up at the question and decides they’ve both been through too much for anymore lying or beating around the bush. It’s now, or it’s never. Life is too uncertain to waste anymore time.

“Losing you. Again.”

Steve tilts his head at this, because he’s always felt like he’s the one who lost Bucky. Watching him fall from the train took something from him and putting him back under took even more but maybe that’s not what he meant.

Maybe it never was.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Bucky laughs sadly at Steve’s words and wishes that was a promise that could be kept, that was more simple. None of this is simple. Nothing has been since the 40s.

“I’m not the same person I was in the 40s, Steve.”

“Neither am I.”

He knows this. He knows everything is different, but when he looks at Steve and he’s looking back at him the same way it’s like they never left Brooklyn.

And he finally gets to ask the question that’s been lingering in his head since Wakanda. 

“You think you could love me again?”

Without hesitation, Steve knows his answer. He’s known it since he left him to heal.

“Never stopped.”

-

You try to hurry away when you hear them coming, but they’re both way too clever to not have noticed you.

You stop and let them catch up to you, the butterflies leaving your stomach and making their way up into your throat.

Despite your nerves, you turn and lock eyes with Bucky. Even when the world’s spinning, you can never help but look at him like he hung the stars for you.

Bucky’s looking back at you the way he always does, like he has a million things running through his mind but he loves you too much to burden you with any of them. You just wish he knew he could never be a burden. That you loved him, all of him.

“I love you, Y/N.”

“I know, Buck. I love you too.”

He smiles at your return to his confession, some of his nerves leaving knowing that you feel the same. But then he remembers the man next to him and they all come rushing back. He doesn’t want to lose you, not when he just got you. But he can’t deny his boy. Not anymore.

He glances over at Steve nervously and grabs his hand, preparing himself for what he’s about to say next.

“I love Steve, too.”

You smile at him, appreciating that he’s finally letting himself feel the things you’ve always known he has.

“I know, Buck. I love him too.”

Steve looks up at you at this, questioning what you really meant. You look back at him, smile, and give him the eyes you’ve wanted to ever since you met him. He’s hesitant at first, but as if a switch hits his brain, his face lights up at the recognition of your feelings for him. And with one look from your golden boy, all of your nerves wash away and you know this is right.

Bucky, who still hasn’t seemed to catch on, is struggling to find his words. He’s stressed, and you and Steve watch him run a hand through his hair in frustration. The same smile appears on both your faces watching your boy fumble over himself trying to explain the situation, trying to make everything right not even noticing it already is.

You step forward to push his hair back so you can see his face, and you take a moment to admire just how beautiful he really is. You kick yourself for wasting so much time not telling him that, but you make a silent promise to yourself that you won’t go another day without it. Without telling both of them how amazing they are, and how they both make you feel more loved than any person could ever deserve.

With your hand still on Bucky’s cheek, you lean in close and press the lightest kiss of your life onto his lips, making him smile shyly into it. And then you lean back, grabbing Steve’s face with your other hand and giving him the hardest, most passionate kiss of your life in the same breath.

Bucky wonders why he was ever nervous at all.

You look at the pure, unadulterated happiness on his face and you know you’ve never seen him like this. For half a moment you want to be jealous, you want to be upset that you couldn’t do this for him on your own. But it all disappears when you see them looking at each other and not being sorry for it anymore. It makes you realize that maybe it’s ok you couldn’t be enough on your own. Maybe it was always supposed to take Steve and you, together, to make him whole again.

Bucky kisses Steve, hard, right as he winks your way and grabs Steve’s hand to lead him back to your room which you can catch glimpses of all three of you living in, in peace.

He runs a hand through his hair and just looks so goddamn happy that you swear your heart isn’t capable of loving him anymore.

And then Steve looks back at you and he smiles his golden boy smile and you swear your heart could collapse at how much you know you love him.

Yeah. You’re fucked.