#he probably thinks cooties are real too

[ruddigerspawss]

i hc that hugo is one of those guys who thinks hugging can get someone pregnant idk just a vibe like look at him

[decentishoutsidersthoughts]

do you have any headcanons for the gang's reaction to each of them getting their first dates?

like high school darry and his gaggle of younger friends being all up in his business or omg the first time ponyboy has a date I just know that poor boy is gonna have a red face from all the teasing and talks he gets

I love this it’s so funny, enjoy

Darry

I hc that his first date was a girl on the cheerleading team. He didn’t rly like her very much but he was a sophomore in high school so he thought he did of course.

He was the first one to get a serious girlfriend. Soda Steve and Two-Bit, who had just gotten old enough to care about girls idolized him even more than they previously had. Soda would come into Darry’s room and sit on his bed and ask him all sorts of questions because he just wanted to know.

Darry for a few weeks kind of had that thing where he got a girlfriend and forgot he had friends, so Two-Bit was understandably salty about that but Darry got over it fast and after that Two-Bit just teased him a lot

Dally did not give two shits. He saw Darry getting a cheerleader girlfriend as more of him straying from the gang. If he was still showing up to school he was side eyeing them in the hallways 24/7

Johnny was too scared of girls to be really jealous, but he was also a little curious. But he pretended to be apathetic to it cause Ponyboy was a HATER. In his mind this random cheerleader was making Darry spend even less time at home than he normally did and he was pissed. Also he’s like 9 and probably still thinks girls have cooties 💀

Soda

His first real girlfriend was freshman year. I’m of the firm belief that he has TERRIBLE taste in women and this was the first time it really showed

Darry and Two-Bit both didn’t like Soda’s girlfriend and they’d talk a lot of shit about it. But Darry was letting Sofa handle himself and hoping be would EVENTUALLY stop letting his girlfriend treat him bad and then go find a nice girl. Neither of those rly happened-

Steve hated Soda’s girlfriend with a PASSION. It was the only time him and Ponyboy got along because their hatred was so visceral it brought them together. Steve was lowkey mostly just jealous but it helped that she was mean as hell

Dally and Johnny weren’t THAT involved. Both of them stopped showing up to school by then and it wasn’t a shock that Soda had a girlfriend nor that it was a…weird relationship. Dally was surprised that Soda didn’t rly end up having commitment issues tho

Ponyboy

I feel so bad for this man when he gets a girlfriend. I’ve seen a lot of people say that Darry would be insanely strict about him dating. I don’t think so, he has bigger battles. Especially post canon when he’s trying to give Ponyboy the same amount of freedom he and Soda enjoyed when they were his age. (Possibly even more because let’s be real Ponyboy is the good quiet kid of that family-)

However that doesn’t save him from teasing. Two-Bit is the worst ofc (and Dally if we count them as alive but for the sake of this we won’t). Steve also participates but he’s kind of just an asshole. He tried to purposely give Ponyboy bad advice but then Soda yelled at him so he stopped 🧍‍♀️

Speaking of Soda this man was giving all sorts of unsolicited advice. Ponyboy pretends to listen but in his head he’s like ‘every single relationship you’ve been in with a girl has ended horrendously-‘. He listens to Soda's advice when it comes to flirting and getting girls to like him, but he just asks Darry for advice with the actual relationship stuff 

Johnny

Let’s pretend he’s alive for a minute. His first relationship is the only one that doesn’t crash and burn within 6 months. The gang is honestly flabbergasted that he’s pulling better than the rest of them 😭😭😭😭

Tbh they’re all rly wary at first. Especially Dally and Soda (Dally cause he’s Dally and Soda cause he’s still a lil sore from Sandy). The only one not rly freaked out is Ponyboy

Ponyboy either loves Johnny’s girlfriend or hates her. No in between. They’re either besties or he preys on her downfall. He third wheels them everywhere regardless tho. He’s like their practice kid.

Dally and Steve definitely threatened her 💀

Darry’s also wary but once again he has other things to worry about. He does keep track of their relationship tho so he’ll be ready to do damage control if they break up (he does that with everyone but he does it more with Johnny cause he knows from experience the longer the relationship lasts the worse the breakup is)

I don’t have many thoughts on the other three ngl. I think the gang is kinda just like ‘that happened’. Other than Soda being a massive hype man for Steve (until he gets jealous tee hee)

[bumblingbabooshka]

I think you might have touched on it in a fic of yours, but if not I have a Vulcan culture question I think could be interesting. Do you think Vulcans (most likely children) would have prejudice or superstitions about a person who was convinced during Pon Farr vs normal hormonal levels?

Very old comic I made about this topic Tags:

I basically headcanon that being a 'pon farr baby' is mostly something very old very spiritual people genuinely believe in and children like to use as a jeering taunt regardless of whether or not the kid they're teasing actually was a pon farr baby. If you're too reactive you're gonna get called a pon farr baby! Not if any adults can hear though....you'll get in trouble! There's probably also a 'cooties' element where if you're said to be born during the pon farr or are being emotional then the other kids are gonna run away from you and try not to be touched by you because someone's older sister's friend's cousin said that being touched by someone fevered gives YOU the fever! It's true! It happened to your friend's dad's neighbor and he DIED. I also think it's like, a tantalizing subject that starts to become whispered about at a certain age but then becomes a mark of maturity not to care about. Like, in "5th grade" (its equivalent) a Vulcan child might turn to their peers and say, like "Do you know why Sulonk and his sister were born seven years apart? I do." but once you're in high school it's viewed as immature to talk about it! It's mature to imply you know about it but refuse to speak on it - like an adult. I do think that someone having three or more children that are all conceived seven years apart is viewed as more of an old timey thing. Like, Vulcans probably have access to a lot of contraceptive care because of their biology so seeing a non-elder someone who has had five children all conceived during the pon farr is fairly rare unless there are other factors at play. Might get you a raised brow but there's no real judgement cast on the children themselves.

[celestiamour]

‧₊˚✧ ❛[ queer headcanons - chronicles of narnia ]❜

ft. peter pevensie, susan pevensie, edmund pevensie, lucy pevensie, caspian x, eustace scrubb, tumnus, jadis, lilliandil

contains: caspeter (caspian x peter), peter's part is vague but he's definitely not straight despite what he's listed as, gay gay homosexual gay, mentioned transphobia & fights, pronouns match the ones used in the books/movies for writing consistency

➤ author's note: I saw some other people doing it, so i wanted to join in on the fun too!! remember that these are fictional characters with no set sexuality/gender, this is just for fun & for my to further procrastinate my wips

━━━ .°˖✧ peter pevensie - straight ally (unless??) ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ he was more than supportive of all his siblings when they came out, but never thought it was for him. like he has no issue in saying that a guy was attractive but wasn't actually attracted to him for the most part. he never properly questioned his sexuality until arriving in narnia for a second time and refuses to admit (although it was painfully obvious) that his gay awakening was a certain telmarine prince who happened to be his rival and a pretty boy— let's just say he's fighting a lot of internal demons.

━━━ .°˖✧ susan pevensie - lesbian ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ (it was actually more difficult for her to accept that she didn't like men than to accept that she did like women). she was never interested in marriage proposals, invitations to dance, and general flirtatious advancements from men, finding her heart failing to flutter for any of them and only feeling general annoyance by it more than anything. she always told herself that she just hadn't met the right one, but quickly realized that she held no hope nor care if it ever happened. it wasn't until she felt her heart pounding for the first girl who displayed romantic interest for her did she begin to see love from a new perspective.

━━━ .°˖✧ edmund pevensie - transmasc demiromantic pansexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ grew up being a tomboy who fussed over his hair growing past his ears, refused to wear dressed to mass or skirts to class, wore all of peter's old clothes instead of susan's, and then realized that he wasn't a girl. being crowned as "king edmund" was the first time he was his true self publicly, and he remained like that even back in england where he wasn't accepted by everyone. although his older brother sometimes gets into fights for his sake, he considers it as filtering out who he should spend his time with and who he should ignore. as a result, he doesn't date around much, but if someone manages to stick with him through all of his insecurities and trauma, he'll find himself slowly falling in love.

━━━ .°˖✧ lucy pevensie - asexual polyamorous lesbian ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ she's always been a girl's girl who was for the girls! the valiant queen has plenty of love to go around, often seen spending quality with her girlfriend(s, who are probably also dating each other): having picnics, horseback riding, hosting tea parties, dancing, and so much more when she isn't performing her royal duties. she doesn't mind being intimate if her partner desires it, but she much prefers bonding in the ways listed above instead.

━━━ .°˖✧ caspian x - bisexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ a real lover boy, flirting with both men and women, always making them swoon and blush over his handsome smile to fill an emptiness in his heart. it seemed like no one was able to ignore his irresistible charm until a certain blonde royal showed up with his sword swinging and an arrogant front to hide his true fears. caspian can’t remember the last time he felt so infuriated with someone he was determined to make his, but that would only make the victory of an eventual confession so much sweeter.

━━━ .°˖✧ eustace scrubb - gay demiromantic asexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ grew up thinking girls were icky or had cooties before realizing that he simply wasn't attracted to them and they weren't all that bad. he's not completely uninterested in romance, just struggles to find and form a bond with a guy who doesn't think he is weird or mean, and then he struggles to determine if he likes him as a friend or potential love interest. it makes him seem picky in the eyes of others, but maybe he has a unique "friendship" with a boy from his childhood whom he writes to daily and can't envision himself with anyone else. (oh, and he's repulsed by the idea of sex, dare he say disgusted by it)

━━━ .°˖✧ tumnus - non-binary pansexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ he doesn't care about gender within himself or his partners as the inner qualities they both possess are much more important. he could be referred to as "he" "she" "they" or something else entirely, he doesn't mind and prefers others to use whichever one they feel like. after becoming both an advisor and uncle figure to the pevensies, he helped immensely in their journey of accepting themselves since they came from a time/place where they could be ostracised for it, and they carried his wisdom long after leaving narnia.

━━━ .°˖✧ jadis - aromantic lesbian ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ she doesn’t care for love nor does she have time for it. romance has never been something she ever considered adding to her long list of priorities, and it honestly made her scoff whenever she heard of it. however, she doesn’t mind having fun with a beautiful dryad who managed to look her in the eyes with an emotion other than fear and then sending them on their way before she gets tempted to eternally preserve their beauty in her growing garden of statues.

━━━ .°˖✧ lilliandil - transfem pansexual ˚₊ ⊹

╰₊✧ I don't have an explanation for this one, she has like five minutes of screen time— it feels right. she's a star who shines for all and is admired by all.

[angelsanarchy]

Night Cap - Jack Thurlow x MaleY/N

@icarus-star m/m ❤

TW: Explicit Content~Handjobs, Cum Eating 18+

Y/n was lost in his own thoughts, nursing his third drink and really questioning why he even bothered coming out tonight. He jumped dramatically when the stool next to him screech as it suddenly became occupied by a long haired man with blue eyes.

"You look like you're having a blast." He deadpanned.

"I wasn't aware I was giving off an inviting look." Jack nodded his head back like he understood to leave him alone but guilt washed over Y/n's face.

"I'm sorry. I just..I'm not having a great night. It's not your fault." The guy pivoted and sat back down in his chair, extending his hand.

"Jack." He introduced himself and Y/n gave him the fake name he typically gave to random guys. Jack eyeballed him as if he didn't believe the name but smiled anyway.

"It's nice to meet you. Why are you having a bad night?" Jack threw back his shot and turned his full attention towards Y/n.

"I'm just over this scene. This town is far too dull to be young and gay in. I'm tired of striking out and getting manhandled just to never get a call back." Jack nodded like he understood but how could he? He was a good looking guy in a bar who could have anyone.

"Don't they have apps for that?" He inquired earning an eye roll.

"Please, those are even worse than trying to experience real connection in person. It's easier to just get black out drunk and catch a ride home to jerk off." Jack ordered two more shots.

"I mean that usually works for me." Jack slid one of his shots towards Y/n and nodded towards it.

"If you think I'm going to suck you off in the bathroom for listening to my problems, you're sorely mistaken." Jack chuckled as he took the shot without a second thought.

"I promise I'm not trying to get you drunk or get blown in the bathroom." Y/n eyeballed Jack up and down and looked behind him. He hadn't noticed him when he came in despite being a stand out attraction.

"What are you doing in a gay bar? I've never seen you here before." He watched Jack carefully. He didn't have a wedding ring and he wasn't acting like touching the bar top was going to make him catch gay cooties like a lot of the straights that walk in here.

"My best friend and her girlfriend are celebrating a year together." Jack pointed them out and they were sitting together, wrapped up in each others arms sweetly.

"Ah so you're the designated straight friend?" Y/n was prying but he didn't care.

"No I'm just the pathetically single third wheel friend." Jack was too aloof.

"You're curving that question pretty professionally." Jack cut his eyes at him.

"You pick up quickly." Y/n wanted to continue to pry but he figured he didn't want to lose the opportunity to have a decent conversation with a hot guy so he changed the subject.

Y/n learned that Jack was originally from the town over but he's only visiting until he can move all of his stuff from California. He learned that he was engaged once, had a twin and that both his parents were killed in an accident. They had talked almost until the bar was ready to close and when Shanda came to retrieve him, Jack told her that he would be fine to get home.

Jack knew he couldn't drive and he was hoping that Y/n wouldn't either but he followed him towards his car as he jingled keys in his hand.

"You aren't going to try are you?" Jack asked watching him lean against the car.

"Oh no I'm probably just going to sleep it off in my car. I know the owner and he's cool with it. Do you need me to call you a ride?" Y/n asked.

"Nah I called a cab. Said they would be here in 15 minutes. Do you mind keeping me company?" Jack asked hopeful. Y/n smiled and gestured for him to get into the passenger seat and Jack obliged.

Jack settled into the seat looking over as he turned the car on so the heat would warm them up.

"I had a good time talking to you tonight. I hope I helped make your night a little better and it wasn't a total bust." Jack watched him smile.

"No it was a lot of fun. Thank you for keeping me company. I didn't get the bust I wanted but I'm also not leaving with a shit night either." Y/n wanted to kiss him so badly. He wanted to jump his bones but he would totally settle for a makeout. He didn't even care if Jack was into guys. His lips were so inviting and Y/n wanted to wrap his hand in those curls so badly.

Fuck it. He shot towards Jack to smash his lips into his own and Jack made a noise, startled and slightly in pain from hitting his teeth. Jack licked his lips watching him shift in his seat. Jack leaned away and brought his hand to his lips. Y/n instantly felt mortified.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I'm so sorry Jack-"

Jack reached towards him, reaching out to grip the back of his neck so that he could carefully and much more slowly bring Y/n towards his mouth. The kiss was softer, the slight taste of blood from the forceful kiss was on his tongue as it ran across his own and Y/n tried to hold in a moan. He was shaking and he knew Jack could feel how desperately he wanted more but Jack continued to kiss and suck his lips, his tongue, even his chin at some point before pulling back just enough to make eye contact.

"I know I said I wasn't going to get you black out drunk and get a blow job but-" Y/n reached for Jack's belt without a second thought and Jack stopped him.

"No no, I want to get my hands on you. Would you be okay with that?" Jack asked permission and Y/n was in shock. He was ready to throw everything he said earlier out the window and blow Jack's brain stupid but Jack wanted to touch him.

"We don't have to if you're-"

"No I just, I'm not usually the one who gets propositioned." Y/n chuckled nervously and Jack smiled.

"You're right, this town fucking sucks. Clearly everyone needs their eyes checked." Jack stroked the side of Y/n's face, running his finger under his lip. Y/n didn't know what to say. He just nodded his head and Jack returned the nod before resuming their kissing. Y/n let Jack's hands fumbled with the button on his jeans, cupping the bulge carefully, teasing his fingertips over the wet spot at the tip. Y/n let his hips jump towards his touch and could feel the smile against his lips. He pulled away from his mouth and spit in his hand which seemed far hotter than Y/n could have imagined but he didn't have time to get stuck on that because Jack's hand found his cock and he threw his head back.

"AH! Oh fuck." Y/n slammed his head against the head rest knowing that he hadn't felt someone touch him like this in a long time.

"You weren't kidding. What are these people doing to you beautiful boy?" Jack stroked Y/n's hair back while he free his cock so he could stroke its entire length. He held him with such pressure that Y/n knew that this wasn't going to last long.

"How does that feel? Does it feel as good as you look?" Jack's voice sounded like silk against his ear, licking his earlobe and focusing on the tip long enough for Y/n to moan.

"I-it feels so fucking good. Please don't stop, Jack." Y/n begged. He wanted to touch Jack, wanted to feel his cock too but he couldn't think. He could barely remember to breathe as Jack jerked his cock painfully slow, moving to suck little kisses on his neck just below his ear.

"You're so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful you are?" Jack pulled back to stare at Y/n's face but he kept his eyes shut tight. Jack picked up the pace of his hand and watched Y/n's jaw slag as he gripped the handle of the door.

"I'm going to cum. I'm sorry I'm-"

"Don't you dare apologize. I want you to cum. Will you please cum for me like a good boy?" Jack increased his sped once again and Y/n felt like he was seconds away from imploding.

"I want you to open your eyes when you cum. I want to see you looking at me, knowing I made you cum." Jack edged but Y/n knew if he opened his eyes, there was a huge chance he would cum in such an embarrassing fashion, he would melt into the seat with his cum and shame.

"I can't...I.." Before Jack could even argue, Y/n felt lips wrap around the tip of his cock and he was cumming hard into his mouth. His moans were so loud they reverberated off the roof of the car and he could feel them in the door as he bucked his hips just slightly as Jack sucked the cum down his throat, not wasting a single drop. When he pulled away, Y/n almost crumpled in on himself like his soul was just evacuated from his body and Jack wiped the little bit of cum from his bottom lip into his mouth.

Y/n watched Jack smile at him, pushing his hair away from his sweaty forehead and resting a hand on his cheek.

"I hope you got the bust you wanted." Jack smirked just as the cab rolled into the lot honking at them. Y/n was still trying to catch his breath but Jack reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He put a card on the dashboard and licked his lips.

"It's an old business card but my personal number is on the back. I'd love to get together again." Jack leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth before exiting the car and heading towards the cab. Y/n sat in shock, dick spent in his lap, heat blowing and the car stuck to his dashboard. When he was finally able to put himself back together, he peeled the card up and read the name on it.

"Jack Thurlow." He read the name outloud and tried not to think about how utterly fucked he was in every sense of the word.

[meili-sheep]

I can't remember if this was ever talked about or not but, does Diluc have any 'unofficially' adopted children?

What are their opinions on his harem?

So I Believe I've talked about how the haram reacts to the kids but no the kids reacting to the Harem. And I think each kid kind of has their favorite. So let's go by each kid and their favorite.

Diona

Dad protector number home. So getting close to Diluc is generally a criminal offense in here eyes. So most of the harem she loathes. Kaveh and Zhongli get bonus hate points because of their drinking habits. Itto is just too loud. Eula is probably getting judged on her reputation same with Al Haitham. But no extra hate. Albedo and Xiao she just doesn't vibe with. They are too indifferent. Ayato and Thoma get extra hate points for being dog people. The only one she really ends up liking and tolerating.... is Childe. It's partly because Childe actually put up with her and sort of knows how to deal with her. He's a family man and treats her like one of his no matter how mean she is to him. Because he knows it's not real hate. So while she still says he's gross and got cooties. She actually really likes Childe.

Bennett

So unlike Diona Bennett really like most of Diluc's suitors. He's already kind of used to having a hoard of Dads so as long as they make Diluc happy. But his favorite... It's Kaveh. Partly because Bennett... Presents Kaveh's biggest challenge. No matter what Kaveh builds Bennett can break it. And to be honestly Kaveh loves it. He loves trying to make Bennett proof things. So they just bounds and attach so well. Like he gets along with everyone else but with Kaveh. They just click man.

Fischl

So Fischl's favorite might through people through a loop. because this person doesn't reallly do kids but they both end up with a weird soft spot for each others. So it's Ayato. And while Ayato not a big fan of the kids in general he really does have a soft spot for Fischl because of her acting and her dramatic speech. He finds a lot in it actually quite admirable because it's her trying to be the person she wants to be. For Fischl part she like Bennett gets along with most of the Harem but few understand her. (Al Haitham does be he doesn't play along) But Ayato always plays along with her. He's not nearly as dramatic but he'll play any roll she gives him and he does it well and I think she understand him in a way only people who wear masks can understand each others.

Klee

So We all know who Klee (and by extension Alice) Is rooting for. Like clears as day it's Albedo But I think like Bennett Klee gets along with Kaveh really well so he's runner up. He also likes testing out building that can with stand Klee's bombs. And She loves hearing around all the homes he's made for people She also really like Thoma just because he's the best! To be fair most of the harem gets "Is the best!" treatment from Klee like even Al Haitham does because thought he doesn't smile he reads to her and probably even made protective head gear for her. I think Ayato and Xiao are the ones she likes the least. Because Ayato's smile always feel off and Xiao probably avoids her like the plague (for her own safety in his mind)

Razor

So this one really crakes me up because like Diona Razor doesn't trust a lot of the harem. He's a bit more protective of Diluc then the others (Save Diona of course) But funny enough that one he gets along with the most is Al Haitham. Because he's blunt he's straights forwards and despite being so smart Razor can always understand him. And honestly. Part of it is because Al Haitham doesn't really know how to interact with children so he kind of treats them like pets? And yeah that works Razor.

[puffyducks]

DCRC Week #21

Aight y'all we're playing a little bit of catch-up this week cause I went on a big trip to Disney World which ironically left me with no spare time to sit down and read Disney comics. So we're reading PKNA #17: Shooting Star and we're all gonna pretend this was posted on time!!

Guys look Xadhoom is back!! And she looks like she's doing really well too :D

Ok but listen I know this cover looks scary but hear me out - the cover for chapter #9 showed Xadhoom protecting PK, but then in the actual comic she ends up attacking him SO, if this cover shows her straight up attacking PK, obviously that means the opposite is true and she's gonna protect him this time!!! The math checks out trust me guys

okay nevermind maybe she's not doing well

guys she's meditating

One of many instances where the triplets allegedly exist but we never actually get to see them, we're just constantly getting jebaited 😭

Also housewife Donald moment

I'm kinda interested in Uno's reluctance to let Xadhoom know about the secret floor cause like, sure he wants to stay incognito, but who is she even going to leak the information to? She just said like 10 pages ago that Donald is her only ally lol

zapped him so hard he straight up turned into a dognose in the last panel </3

laughing my ass off at this panel sorry why does she look like that. she hit the O=O

WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?????

Guys stop flirting this is SERIOUS. There is a super scary alien on the loose that is totally not in the room with us right now

Imagine getting left on read by an AI, L + ratio

Crying what the FUCK is going on with the crime in Duckburg bro, why do they have flamethrowers 😭

Actually can we bring back those weird LARPing gangs from Trauma? The guys roleplaying as Roman soldiers? I miss them

omfg she can noclip through walls we are so fucked

It took Uno several days of complex scientific analysis to determine that Xadhoom is completely out of her fuckin gourd when he probably could've watched her on camera for longer than like 20 seconds and come to the same conclusion lol

Love the look of the black and white panel on the right, and also shoutout to Mary Ann for being a real one

oh my god they KISSED!!!! EEEEEEEEEEW COOTIES 🤢🤢🤢

Okay so MAYBE I was wrong about Xadhoom protecting PK and maybe she just attacked him for a second time but HEY!! This time it was sort of an accident. Not really but like she was clinically insane so I think she gets a pass. Anyways I like this comic but I think a lot of it is my Xadhoom bias, I just think she's neat ok! I like reading stories about her. I will say that the art leaves something to be desired and also I don't really know what the point of having Gamma and Delta here was? But like believe it or not they do come back later (for some reason) so I guess they're sort of relevant. I'll be back with the next chapter soon ✌️

[toasecretsanta]

The Winter Solstice

A/N: For @sierice [written by @sofia-not-sophie] and the prompt “Apollo’s relationship with the olympians.” I’m not sure how well this fills the prompt, but I’ve been sick and I haven’t written for a while so I’m glad to be back at it. I do think it’s an interesting slice of life type snippet with the Olympians though. Word count: 1057 Summary: A lot has changed since the last Winter Solstice council meeting Apollo attended. Most of that change being him.

“But he looks so cute like that.” Aphrodite whispered across the room, as if she had forgotten that Apollo could hear her.

“Well it’s unprofessional.” Dionysus huffed, “His punishment’s over. He should go back to looking normal, it’s only respectful to those of us still being punished.”

“Don’t you choose to look like that?” She asked.

Apollo rolled his eyes and went back to tuning his lyre. He was mortal sized and looked like Lester, which let him have the space to tuck his legs up and lounge on his throne. Lester’s skin had become more comfortable for him, at least when he was at either camp or was alone since become in a god again.

He was only wearing it in the throne room that day becasue whatever seasonal affective disorder sun gods get was at its worst. Luckily the part of him driving the sun could go curl up in bed after his shortest shift of the year listening to the new music his kids got him hooked onto the week before.

The rest of him was stuck at the meeting.

Dionysus was just putting on his usual stink, not that his little brother’s comments didn’t sting a little. Aphrodite’s cute comment was the best he would get in this form. She was pissed at him anyways because he hadn’t dated anyone in almost six months.

“Ignore him, you know D has been sober too long.” Artemis appeared, also human sized, across from him on the arm of his throne.

“You know I love you Artemis, but please get off my throne, you’re gonna stink it up with all your moon cooties.” He could feel her energy seeping into it and brushing up against his own in an uncomfortable way. He probably could have been nicer about it, but he was already feeling off from the solstice.

She hopped off the arm and went to her fifteen foot size. “Cooties aren’t real, brother.”

“I’m the god of medicine I could make them real.”

“That’d be fun, I’d definitely get more hunters that way.” She walked across the aisle to her throne and sat down.

Apollo strummed a chord on his lyre, the highest string was the tinniest bit sharp, the kind of thing Apollo was sure only he could hear, but it still bugged him. In the past he would usually tune with a wave of his hand, but ever since he had to painstakingly tune his ukulele every day as a mortal, he found comfort in the practice.

Hades stalked past followed by Demeter, they were arguing, as usual, “And you even cheated on her! She doesn’t deserved to be stuck down there with the likes of you and that son of yours.”

“Don’t talk about my son that way! And besides Persephone has grown quite fond of him, she’s planning a surprise birthday dinner for him next month.”

Demeter scowled.

“Nico’s actually a pretty nice kid Demeter.” Apollo said. Hades looked shocked, and a bit relieved.

“See even the sun and healing god, who am I most antithetical to likes my son.” Hades smirked and headed to his temporary seat.

“Oh. Apollo I didn’t see you there. Why are you mortal sized?” Demeter looked at him.

“More room in the chair.” Apollo shrugged, “And you shouldn’t pass judgement on demigod’s you’ve hardly even seen, let alone met. Although, I guess that would apply to your kids too. Meg’s still waiting on thirteen years of birthday presents.”

“Her birthday is not until next week. I planned on paying her a visit then, since it is not my busy season.” She frowned, as though she was considering going to harass Hades more, and then turned back to her throne.

Demeter had become much more wary of him since he returned, for good reason. He knew Meg probably wouldn’t talk to her even if she made an effort, but Meg also wanted to meet her. Apollo made a mental note to be with Meg on the whole day of her birthday, just in case he needed to tell Demeter to go home.

Apollo made an adjustment on his lyre and the chord rang out perfectly as he strummed it. He looked around the room to get a sense of when the meeting would start. Athena was calmly knitting, Artemis counting her arrows for what was probably the thousandth time, and Aphrodite was now sulking in her throne.

Apparently it was one of those years where both Hephaestus and Ares weren’t speaking to her since they looked like they were getting on better than normal. Ares was standing by Hephaestus’ throne and they were talking about something. Probably the world’s next new weapon of mass destruction, as if the mortals or demigods needed more of those.

Dionysus and Hermes were playing catch down at their end of the throne room. Only two years ago Apollo would have been a part of that game. The ball was almost the size of his current torso.

He could join the game, it wasn’t one of his bad routines as a god. The game helped him out of his darkest-day-of-the-year-induced slump. It had actually been a good way of bonding with his brothers. It was the twenty minutes of the year that at least a small part of Hermes wasn’t focused on messages in some way. The twenty minutes of the year Dionysus didn’t seem irritated with his punishment.

Sometimes they even got Artemis to join and she enjoyed showing off her trick shots.

A wave of air that smelled like rotting fish wafted over. If Poseidon had arrived, that meant Zeus’ fashionably late arrival, with Hera on his heels was soon.

Apollo should probably look more meeting presentable than a mortal sized teenager on a god sized throne.  He sighed and willed himself to be fifteen feet tall and to look like what the others expected Apollo to look like.

Dionysus had been right, his mortal look was unprofessional for a god.

Zeus appeared in a crack of thunder with Hera at his side and Apollo did his best not to flinch. He might not mind having human instincts still, but the Olympians surely would notice, and he’d rather if most of them didn’t.

“Alright settle down!” Zeus’ voice boomed, “Let us start this meeting.”

[willow-balcoin]

holiday prompt → chan balcoin.

001. under the mistletoe—

Chan tends to be hyper aware of mistletoe so he can avoid it at all costs, was probably a cootie believer when he was a kid. Nowadays he doesn't subscribe to the idea that he needs a plant hanging over his head to help him with that kind of thing. Would definitely give his mom a peck on the cheek though, low key cutie.

002. in front of the fireplace, cuddled up under a blanket with a hot drink.

He's alone for sure. He's immune to cuffing season propaganda BUT might feel a twinge in his chest when faced with family nights and his sister and cousins all bringing their someones around. If he asks anyone if Tara's coming around, no he didn't.

003. snowed in from a heavy snow storm.

Everyone in his family's circle is a yes and a no. Yes because he has a quiet longing to be part of the family his mom has built and it would be nice to finally be a proper part of one of their big family stories that will be recounted for years down the line, but no because he's realised he made a mistake following his dad and allowing himself to be cut off from said family. Now he's too prideful to admit how badly he wants to be part of it so it's easier to stay on the outside looking in.

004. at a busy dinner table, food piled on the center and family chaos ensuing around the house.

If it's with the Balcoins and co. I think it'd be good vibes!! He's still figuring out where he fits amongst everyone and knows he's the shiny new thing they're all paying attention to so he's pretty reserved. He's steadily finding his feet as his own person outside of his father's shadow though so I think everyone would be pleasantly surprised when he starts showing some actual personality.

005. standing in front of the christmas tree, decorating it with an assortment of baubles, lights and tinsel.

I'd say he's indifferent to the decorating business, he'll leave those decisions to his mom, but he definitely encouraged her to get a stupidly large tree because he never really had that type of stereotypical holiday experience with his dad. Having some family time with just Daphne and Willow while decorating the tree would have healed some of the unacknowledged childhood trauma he's harbouring. The magic of Christmas etc etc.

006. setting out snacks for santa and his reindeers. don't forget the milk and cookies for christmas hardest workers!

Despite his dad being a hardass I wouldn't suggest he was an awful person, so I think he would have helped Willow set things up for the kids when they were little– footprints in flour through the kitchen to a plate of cookies, a half finished glass of milk and so on. Probably realised Santa wasn't real when his nosy little self found his parents taking bites out of carrots as if reindeer had been in the house. Definitely snitched to all the other kids too lmao.

007. at the mall, waiting in line to sit on santa's lap and spill your christmas gift wishes. will you be deemed naughty or nice?

I would say he's on the nice list. Could technically be nicer, but he's doing his best while dealing with his own shit. He'd quietly be pretty pleased about that, he definitely reacts well to praise.

008. exchanging and open gifts, anticipating what gift they may get. is it something cool or just another pair of socks?

Wishlist wise he'd be hoping for some acknowledgement from his father after their falling out. He wouldn't get it as such, just a generally addressed Christmas card to them all in the mail, but he knows if he wants the man's attention he needs to achieve something first. His task for the year ahead is figuring out whether appeasing his father aligns with his own desires or if it's too detrimental. Best gift he ever got was probably light up sneakers when he was a kid. He's still chasing the high of the joy he felt on that day.

009. auditions are now open for the town christmas extravaganza !!!

Oh Channie is so not a performer, his skills are purely that of observation. Back in the day I'm sure Tara managed to wrangle him into being part of productions though. Catch him painted up like Peeta Mellark as Rock Number 3. He would hate being on stage, but he was her biggest fan so being able to support her moment in the spotlight from right there with her..... 🥺🤧

010. in the trenches of snow forts, amidst a war of a snow fight! who will win?  

Dude's a human bulldozer– he loves a snowball fight. Definitely got in trouble a lot as a kid because of it, probably always jumping out of nowhere initiating things which could go either way depending on who he was flinging the snowballs at. FOR SURE got in the shit for having an icicle sword fight at school one time.

[seiwas]

selly!! its been so long since i dropped by !! i just answered all ur asks ive been missing recently 🤍🤍

i come bearing gifts!! 💐🪻🌷🌹🍙🍡🍰 flowers and some snackies for u !!

i have my own question today!!!!

how do u think gojo (2006) would react to a girl he REALLY liked telling him she liked him? hes been wallowing in his supposed unrequited feelings for a while, for a little context :>> ive got some concepts stewing in my drafts hehehe i may post a long awaited emu fic sometime over this summer

emu hello!! so nice of you to drop by!! thank you for the gifts!! i am displaying them and eating them up!! 🥹

hmm... i honestly can't fully imagine gojo (2006) having a crush 😭 just bc i've always considered him to be a sort of late bloomer 🥺 i very much envision him at that age as the most insufferable teenage boy who still thinks messing with people is funny (even tho he probably just likes the attention) anddd who also probably thinks cooties is a thing. or smth. 😭

that being said, if he did have feelings for someone and happened to find out it was reciprocated, i can only really imagine him running away from it 😭 mostly bc it'll begin to feel all too real and 🥺 idk how he feels abt that 🥺

[jising-jisang-jisung]

Diggity | Dive into You | My Youth

Genre: best friend!chenle, childhood friends to lovers!au, fluff (is this a slow burn?), no warnings

WC: <1k

a/n: this part is short but later parts (that I wrote a while ago bc for some reason I started with the ending) will be longer

Taglist: hiiii so like a year ago I had ppl ask to be added and now idk if you still want to but uhh @bockhyun @vantxx95

“Zooweemama!” Chenle whistles, not so subtly checking you out.

You pretend to not notice his once over of your outfit, taking your seat at the restaurant table just in time as the waitress approaches.

“Good evening, what would you and your girlfriend like to order tonight?” She smiles brightly, pen and notepad ready in hand. You nearly spit out your water, forcing it down without making a scene of a coughing fit. Before you are able to refute her claims Chenle is telling her your orders, and she disappears back into the restaurant. 

“Why didn’t you correct her?” you scold him, attempting to slap his arm from the other side of the table, and horribly missing.

“There was no need to,” he shrugs, tilting his head. “Who cares, let her think whatever.” He folds his arms across his chest, not breaking eye contact with you.

You want to offer a rebuttal, but you can’t think of a good enough reason. After all, it was just some random girl, so it didn’t really matter what she thought. A quiet, “I guess,” is all you mutter in response.

“I guess,” he mocks your tone. “You know you wish you were my girl,” he inflates his own ego, not going as far as to flex his arms at you, but in your mind you could picture that scene.

“Good joke, Lele, too bad I friend-zoned you when we were eight,” you laugh, attempting to mask your embarrassment at his outlandish comment. Obviously you liked the idea of being with Chenle, but you knew he didn’t feel the same way, and it was probably just because you spent so much time together- it wasn’t even a real crush. Plus, you were the one who friendzoned him first, even if you were just eight years old and still believed in cooties.

“Earth to y/n,” Chenle waves his hand in front of your face. “Why are you staring off into space?”

“Sorry, just thinking about the exam. I hope I did well,” you lie. It’s better to just ignore whatever strange bout of puberty is hitting you right now to make you think such things of your overly flirtatious best friend.

“I’m sure you aced it, you always do way better than me and I thought it was easy,” he adds a wink at the end that normally would never have had an effect on you. You were supposed to be Chenle-proof, as if a magical force field always kept out his flirtatious demeanor and romantic advances unlike any other girl on the planet, and that is what allowed you to be his friend in the first place.

[weebsinstash]

Honestly one thing I immediately notice about all my wips for hades is like. I can tell I was having fun! These drafts are like ALL OVER THE PLACE, but, I'm a way where I'm making drafts for all sorts of different ideas. Shit I have drafts that are literally just.... interaction scenes??? I have several drafts for a concept where Reader becomes a minor goddess adopted by the house of hades and when Persephone decides to take you to Olympus with her one spring "to meet the rest of the family" and you catch Ares' eye and he decides he wants you as a wife and it begins this whole like Greek epic with, Reader going back to the Underworld and keeping quiet, Ares is having Hermes secretly smuggle her letters or gifts which she's trying to ignore, when she ignores him for too long the House of Hades becomes FLOODED with new Shades because SUDDENLY there are all these human wars breaking out and Reader eventually has to buckle and write a reply letter

HADES EVENTUALLY FINDS OUT AND IS LIKE "ZEUS CONTROL YOUR GODDAMN SON" and Zeus is just like "well its no big deal right she's just a minor goddess and she isn't even your REAL DAUGHTER so--" cue another family war about to break out because the entire fucking House of Hades refuses to stand for this. You think Nyx is gonna still be cordial with Ares when she finds out he literally chased down her adopted daughter for the thrill of the hunt and then took her by force? Persephone? Achilles? Meg? Shit like, with how much Nyx adores you, do you think her daughters THE FATES THEMSELVES will let this happen. Ancestor of indiscriminate gender PRIMORDIAL CHAOS?????? Not to mention any Olympians who would be knocking heads with Ares already like Athena since I'm pretty sure in myth and in game they have kind of a huge rivalry with each other?

Which is another draft I have btw, Reader is on Olympus for a party or something and Athena and Ares are being friendly, secretly trying to own each other by getting 'the most' attention from you when one of them asks "which is better, wisdom or strength?" To which Reader immediately says wisdom but then gives more nuanced answers when she sees the reaction that gets. Athena and Ares start butting heads which makes Reader kind of leave them to it and walk away, and a while later Aphrodite walks up to the siblings "haven't you two noticed there's someone ELSE vying for her attention?" And points and boom there's Dionysus sharing some nice ambrosia with you and he's got you smiling and giggling and, did he just rest his hand on your thigh while whispering in your ear? And they storm over, "oh don't trust him he's gross, he's a lush, if you want to drink, drink with us" and they're so busy trying to shake down Big D that APHRODITE the TRUE THREAT sneaks up and Reader is all drunk and giggly "you're naked but you're a pretty lady and if I was so pretty I'd probably be naked too haha is that a weird thing to say haha 😊🥰😊🥰😊" and by the time Athena and Ares and Dionysus come to their senses the Love Goddess has already snuck off with you for some. Nice times :)

Why am I literally getting new ideas while remembering the ones I already have started lmao. Platonic yandere Artemis who becomes your bud and you're hunting and frolicking and chilling with the other nymphs and eventually you want to like actually get a boyfriend and have sex with a man or something and Artemis is basically like "NO QUEEN this is supposed to be OUR girlboss adventure 🥺🥺🥺 no cooties allowed"

I even, jeez this was a weird side plot, I was just writing shit for like WORLD BUILDING because I never expected these to see the light of day and thus I can just fuck around, and I think a sideplot or idea I was putting into that Ares fic was "Reader is constantly trying to find her purpose or a job to do in the House of Hades and at one point she starts deeply studying like human aqueducts and how there are specific ways humans have tilled the earth and dug trenches to divert floodwaters and you make it your mission to help clean up the flooding of the River Phlegathon (is that how it was spelled) and you even take the Twin Fists to use almost like gardening gloves (because remember these used to belong to Demeter for essentially the same purpose) to pummel the earth and even helping round up your own little team of construction Shades. Hades suddenly starts hearing all these whispers and rumors from the Shades about how Asphodel is slowly becoming more livable because the diverting floodwaters is leaving, you know, actual land to use instead of having to have floating boats and houses on literal fucking demon hellspawn lava, and maybe he even catches you in the act where you're basically on a construction zone, "alright everyone here's the plan, I want you guys digging the canal to the west and after the signal youe group will raise the dam--" and maybe he's actually impressed you took the initiative but also he didn't give you permission to take Malphon or do any of this, you kind of, just needed an outlet for your feelings of stress and helplessness especially after what Ares did

But yeah this past week I'm particularly I've been deep diving through my WIPS and going down memory lane and it's like, well until I get the balls to actually work on some of these, I was googling how like, Google Drive works and was considering just, publicly posting the wips in an online folder or something, but I don't want people to have to download things to read them and I have to pull things off of tumblr and put then in individual word docs and my laptop. Likes to be difficult with me 😅 but yeah hoping to maybe post and share the wips soon bc maybe it'll jumpstart the motivation to finish some of em lol, especially cause some of then have decent chunks written

[kuroko-no-cuties]

Me finding out how much a of a pure and simple boy Kagami is

I just found it adorable how Kagami of all people still seems to be in his “girls have cooties” phase 😂 like read to this exert from the psp game translated by grimmfesthers below the cut

Our sweet innocent baby boy Kagami who looks like this mind you…

is so in love with basketball he literally does not care about hot girls flirting with him and that’s the funnest thing in the world to me. And it’s not like he can’t recognize when a girl is pretty since he literally told kuroko that Momoi’s hot.

He knows when a girl is pretty. He knows when she flirts with him….but he doesn’t careeeee 😂

Girl A: Wow, you’re really built. Do you play a sport or something?

Kagami: Ah? Well, I play basketball…

Girl B: Oh! Now that you mention it, I think I remember seeing the name of a high school basketball team on the welcome signboard out front.

Girl C: Oh, a training camp for basketball! Boys are just so cute when they’re working hard, aren’t they?

Kagami: (C-cute…?)

– –

Hyuuga: Oho… What on earth’s going on over there…?

Koganei: Dunno. But as you can see, Kagami’s surrounded by girls.

Izuki: If my eagle eye is correct, they’re about twenty years old… Probably college students.

Hyuuga: Female college students? Damn it, Kagami! Just die already!

– –

Kagami: (?! What was that? Feels like somebody’s out for blood.)

Girl A: Do your best at practice, cutie! See ya!

Kagami: O-okay…

[the girls leave; Koganei, Hyuuga, and Izuki walk up to Kagami]

Koganei: Kagami, you’re pretty popular!

Kagami: Ah, senpai! You saw that just now?

Hyuuga: Yeah, we did. And it looks like you’re still not used to dealing with the opposite sex.

Kagami: If you were watching, then you should have come over to talk to me…sir. Then I could have made a quick escape.

Hyuuga: Why would you want to escape? So, who were those people just now?

Kagami: Well, um, it seems like they’re guests staying in the same boardinghouse. They saw how tall I am and thought it was unusual… And I guess that’s why they started talking to me.

Koganei: Shit, it’s about height?! If I were that tall, they’d talk to me, too?! If I drink milk or somethin’, I wonder if I can become a 190-centimeter-tall giant of a man!

Izuki: No, even if you start drinking milk, 190 centimeters is too much to ask.

Kagami: I don’t want them trying to make a pass at me just ‘cause I’m tall, though.

Koganei: Listen, you, if you keep sounding that unhappy about it, you’re just asking for divine punishment!

Kagami: I mean, I’d prefer if they didn’t try to talk to me in the first place. Besides, I’m no good at stuff like that… It’s just annoying. I think I’d rather get double teamed during a game than go through that. At least you feel really satisfied after breaking through a double team.

Koganei: …

Kagami: W-what’s with that look? Like you’re taking pity on me or something.

Hyuuga: Well, how do I put this… You’re a real basketball junkie, aren’t you?

Kagami: Leave me alone! Sir!

Hyuuga: Alright, then let’s go play some basketball, since you love it so much.

Kagami: Roger!

[bumblewarden]

YES YES HI HELLO my marvellous bumbly friend I'm here and my pockets are full of questions for Novhen my holiday-deserving beloved!! I'll ask these 4 but just answer whatever you feel like ok?? Have a lush day! :D :D :D 4, 15, 16, 18

<3 !

Hello hello yourself, my wild and er... domesticated friend? That doesn't quite work in the other direction, does it? Hrm

But i've got these four nice and tidy for you! Hope they're a good read

4. If your OC likes art, talk about which piece they would love best.

Realistically, if you asked him, he would go on about someone's family history quilt and go into way too much detail about exactly the history it told and the meaning behind each piece of fabric in each panel, but i can't well show you a picture of a made up work of fibercraft

Now with that failed, let's find a piece from the real world. Not to be lazy, but something tells me this shadow would love chiaroscuro. Among painters known for chiaroscuro, you literally cannot go wrong with Gentileschi. Her most famous painting is Judith Slaying Holofernes for very good reason, but i think he would actually prefer the immediate aftermath of it as found in Judith and Her Maidservant (Detroit). It's invigorating to sneak through the defenses of the leader of an invading army and assassinate him, but it's even better to get away with it. Also, the lighting!!!!

15. What is a common misconception about your OC? (Alternatively, what do people assume about them which is either incorrect or misconstrued?)

Especially post-Origins, people commonly misconceive that he's some no-nonsense hardass who thinks of nothing but work, but he's not :(

He's a little distant at first, but he's still getting used to the position and balancing his expectations with what he's actually willing to put forth. Especially being an elven noble and commander, it's a difficult tightrope act. He gets better about it eventually. Even if he doesn't allow himself to get into much mischief anymore, he'll probably let it slide as long as no one else catches you

He just has a bad case of resting bitch face and a generally flat affect. He can put on a mask if he needs to, but it's not a 24/7 act. He's not that serious, he's just autistic

Also, he thinks about a lot of things besides work! Like his family and history and uh... other stuff probably. Oh! Embroidery! That's a third thing!

16. What trait do they find most attractive/appealing about others?

Ok this one gave me a bit of trouble, so it's maybe not the most attractive/appealing thing, but it's up there! Disclaimer out of the way...

A healthy sense of rebellion. He disapproves of people who are content with injustice, but a rebel without a cause isn't the healthy he means. Please rebel, but know why. Keep your purpose and goals close to heart, and have a plan. A precise blade will deal more damage than wild flailing and is far less likely to strike at your own friends

18. What is one thing that they only let those closest to them see?

His faith. Like his mother, he's a Fen'Harel cultist, but he was conscripted before he could've become an Agent of Fen'Harel. Since then, he was never offered agenthood because the big guy doesn't like the Wardens (cooties)

It's secret primarily for practical reasons. Thedas is a majority Andrastian society, and elves were first "allowed" to live in alienages in human territory on the condition that they convert. Ferelden is one of the safer countries to exist as a non-Andrastian, but that's relative. It's no Rivain. Come Trespasser, it would be actively endangering himself to be openly affiliated with Fen'Harel. You think the average schmuck will care that he's not actually an agent or pro-destroying-Thedas-as-we-know-it? Not likely

After being raised since childhood to tell nobody outside of a very small group about his faith, it just becomes reflex. Alistair, Zevran, and Morrigan eventually get enough hints about it. I don't think he'd ever say it outright (no need to put yourself in such a vulnerable position), but he's pretty good at implying. That Coercion IV didn't train itself. He'd probably also hint to it at Radka, but i doubt she'd have the proper information base to put it together all the way

[watching-pictures-move]

The Roger Moore Morally Compromised Mini-Marathon | Shout at the Devil (Hunt, 1976), Gold (Hunt, 1974) & The Wild Geese (McLaglen, 1978)

Mild spoilers below.

There's plenty you'll have to wince through when watching Shout at the Devil, which depicts the African continent as a playground for white adventurers, which relentlessly infantilizes its black characters while lingering over their dead bodies after they've been violently killed, which has as its most prominent African character a mute played by a white actor who is all too eager to hang villagers, and which has a character go undercover in blackface during the climax, as a cherry on top of a big ol' racist sundae. And this is not to mention that it asks us to root for an entirely self-interested ivory smuggler and features a poaching sequence so exuberant that the heroes are practically high-fiving each other as they kill a shitload of elephants. (Although a disclaimer assures us no animals were harmed during the making of the movie.) Unsurprisingly, the movie was produced in Apartheid era South Africa.

But I think Roger Ebert in his review, despite glossing over the film's issues, gets at its essence pretty succinctly, correctly noting that it's about the unironic embrace of jungle adventure movie with all its pleasures and idiosyncrasies. And if you can wince through all those aforementioned elements (and it's perfectly okay if you can't), you find much to enjoy here, starting with the team-up of Lee Marvin and Roger Moore, in incorrigible scoundrel mode and dashing but self-deprecating mode, respectively. Even the introduction of Barbara Parkins as Marvin's daughter and Moore's love interest doesn't sink the film, as Parkins is able to complement both of their performances pretty nicely and give the movie a bit of heart. Everybody knows all girls have cooties, but Parkins and the movie take measures to mitigate their spread.

There's also the fact that Peter Hunt, who directed one of the best Bond movies and edited a few others of similar pedigree, is a really good action director. There's one great scene where the heroes ambush a German convoy going down a hill, and the sense of diagonal movement snowballs, powered by both the astute editing and the unexpectedly gruesome violence, which, along with all the dicier elements, makes this feel like an exploitation movie despite the A-grade production values.

Compared to Shout at the Devil, Gold, an earlier collaboration between Peter Hunt and Roger Moore is maybe a bit easier to get through, in that it offers some semblance of self critique for choosing to film in Apartheid South Africa. Here, the gold mining industry is depicted as a purely amoral enterprise, the kind that is happy to kill off its own employees for short term gain, or, you could infer, maybe do business with a repressive regime. And it shows at least nominal sympathy for its black characters (and treats them as actual characters). A lot of the movie is about traversing through corporate politics, which I probably find more interesting to watch than the average viewer (a bizarre side effect of being a business major), although it must be said that Moore has great chemistry with his co-star Susannah York, and we get a pretty appealing performance from Ray "Dial M for Murder" Milland as the gruff patriarch. Hunt's talents as an editor are somewhat underused, but I like the way he presents the mine as one big machine, with a series of moving parts working in unison, all integral to its proper functioning. All that being said, the fate meted out to the villains feels like something from a dumber movie, and for some reason there's a Bond style theme song and opening credit sequence but with gold mining instead of racy silhouettes. (If you want more serious Moore, I'll recommend The Man Who Haunted Himself, which makes a pretty nice case for his acting talents and gives him some unexpected vulnerability. Also, he has a mustache.)

And of course I had to cap off my Roger Moore morally compromised mini-marathon with a rewatch of The Wild Geese, a movie that I've grown a real affection for, thanks to both familiarity, and the fact I'm a sucker for these old school men on a mission movies. Listen, the politics here are awful, and even more cringeworthy is the movie's attempt to hide it by pairing the deposed African president the heroes rescue with the most racist member of the group. Winston Ntshona and Hardy Kruger, the actors playing the president and the racist, respectively, both took their roles hoping for a serious movie about racism and African geopolitics. That seriousness did not materialize in the finished film, which resolves these issues with a quick conversation by the one hour thirty-two minute mark, at which point it can get back to shooting and blowing stuff up. For what it's worth, Ntshona and Kruger are actually committing to the material, and Kruger is especially good, although the movie plays its hand by allowing Kruger to articulate his mixture of racial resentment and isolationist views with unusual clarity while saddling Ntshona with vague platitudes. (And if you think racism is the movie's only questionable stance, it also relentlessly pokes fun at the one gay character, although it does eventually give him some good scenes.)

A bit easier to enjoy, perhaps at the movie's expense, are the presence of Richards Burton and Harris. I understand both of them were not allowed to drink during the production, and while I am not a good enough judge of alcoholism to tell if they look hungover from sneaking sips at night between shooting hours, or angry because they haven't been able to drink, there's an undeniable booze-adjacent contempt in their performances. (For what it's worth, Harris looks more cheerful, but I've found him the more innately energetic actor from experience.) The other big star is Moore, who gets by on his natural charisma but isn't as good as he is in Shout at the Devil or Gold or his Bond movies.

Honestly, for the first half, the movie seems to be rather badly made, shooting scenes in the most drab, limp way possible and resolving every confrontation with as few hiccups as possible. An attempt to rescue a character being hunted by the mafia ends with the mafia abruptly lifting all the contract put out on him. The siege on the base where the president is being held ends with no losses for the heroes, the guards all being sprayed with cyanide gas in their sleep or killed instantly with a crossbow. These characters are supposed to be highly trained professionals who can do this in their sleep, and that's basically how it plays, for better or worse. But complications do eventually arise, and the movie thankfully gets a lot more exciting. There's a half hour or so in the third act where the characters are retreating through the bush from a rapidly advancing army while trying to secure an exit, depicted as a near constant stream of close quarters gunfights and on-the-fly defensive tactics. As limp as Andrew V. McLaglen's direction is in the first half, he wisely gets out of his own way here, moving things along at a fast clip and letting the shooting, bleeding, dust and wilderness do the talking. (For something that feels tonally like a classic WWII era actioner, complete with rousing score, it's quite a bit bloodier than you'd expect.) It's a great action scene, and goes a long way in warming me up to this movie.

[bookboxaddict]

Shatter Me

I've seen this YA dystopia on lists of stuff from the 2010s, in special edition form, and on lists of hater sites, so I decided to try doing a commentary for it. I remember listening to the audiobook for the first book years ago, but I didn't remember any of the things people complained about, and I'm curious to know how it holds up.

No promises on sticking to any kind of schedule, but I can get the first chapter done, at least.

Author's Note

I really appreciate the explanation here about the strikethroughs, numbers, and all the other erratic bits of writing. IIRC it did a good job communicating the "chaos in Juliette's mind", but it probably would've been jarring to come into without that knowledge.

One

The chapter opens with a lot of numbers, and it's immediately clear why the author's note was necessary. One problem kind of jumps out - in the audiobook, Kate Simses had a great voice that made her seem sympathetic so I didn't notice so much, but here Juliette is immediately complaining about her circumstances from the outset. And like. I certainly can't blame her; being in solitary confinement for 264 days is a form of torture, it's enough to drive anyone at least temporarily insane, and that seriously sucks. But I'm also starting to get why people called her "whiny" - it's understandable, I'd never blame a real person for it, but I can see how, to some people, this might not be pleasant to read.

Personally, though, I think the stylistic bits that Mafi messes around with do carry the story well enough to make it engaging despite the protagonist's clear misery but it's a fair criticism.

We're told some worldbuilding information about The Reestablishment, an initiative meant to help society after a bunch of climate disasters left people starving; and that it's this Reestablishment that's locked Juliette up. It confuses me a little bit that she seems to describe a total isolation, where she hasn't spoken a word to anyone; but then we see the "minions" of the Reestablishment talking to her about the new cellmate she's getting. Is she not speaking to them because they won't listen, or because she hates them too much? I'd think that after enough isolation, you'd speak to anyone, even if they weren't listening; but I guess some people go the opposite direction and withdraw. Still, there's some confusion around how the facts being established.

Her new cellmate is a boy, and she responds like this:

"I stifle my scream my urgency to run the crippling horror gripping my limbs"

Is this a 2010s YA thing? It's been a while; I don't know if this is a common trope. But like. Would it be less weird if her cellmate had been a girl? I know in our arguably-dystopian prison systems, cells (and prisons in general) are segregated by binary gender, but is that a thing here? Is she worried about being molested, or is this just adolescent "forbidden desires" shenanigans? Or has she been locked up for so long that boys still have cooties?

"He sizes up the meager pillow on the spare bed they shoved into the empty space this morning, the skimpy mattress and threadbare blanket hardly big enough to support his upper half. He glances at my bed. Glances at his bed. "Shoves them both together with one hand. Uses his foot to push the two metal frames to his side of the room. Stretches out across the two mattresses, grabbing my pillow to fluff up under his neck. I've begun to shake. ... "He's stolen my bed my blanket my pillow."

Juliette refuses to fight back because she's too paranoid about something, and is worried about hearing "those screams" again. I do like how choppily this is described, and how it hints at her backstory. So far, all of her complaints have been pretty reasonable, and as a person I don't think she's "overly" whiny or anything. But I can see how, from a subjective reader perspective, some people might not like her as a narrator. Still, right now I'm on the side of "Those people are being rather picky."

That might change as the book goes on.

(chapter 2 will be linked here when posted)