#he probably has wet dreams about rick

[cheezburgrluvr]

TWITTER UPDATE

elon locked his account. Presumably he is also crytyping about how everyone always makes fun of him and how he bets none of his oomfies would miss him while guys with doge nft pfps reply "no elon we all love you and you're our favorite oomflet ;_; also can you buy a shittyshibe nft please #toothemoon?"

[starryeyedjanai]

counting the days till i'm coming home

lake monster steve fic steddie | Explicit | part 1 of 4 | read on ao3

The first time Eddie stumbles across the monster in Lover’s Lake is right after he fails senior year for the second time.

He doesn't know it’s the monster everyone talks about at first—because no one has ever really seen it.

People only talk about how there’s something in the lake, something that sometimes pulls people under, something that’s been there since before Eddie was even born.

He’s sitting at the edge of the lake—just watching it ripple, thinking about how he’s probably going to be stuck here, in Hawkins, for the rest of his life—when he sees something moving out of the corner of his eye.

His head snaps over to look—because for as long as he’s been coming out here to Rick’s, he’s never seen anyone in the lake.

But there’s someone in there now.

This guy, he’s almost ethereal looking—smooth tan skin, hair slicked back from the water.

“What are you doing in there?” he asks before he can stop himself.

The boy looks up at him, his eyes lighting up. He swims over to Eddie—he’s fast, probably faster than anyone on the swim team even.

“Hi,” he says after he stops a handful of feet in front of Eddie.

“Hi,” Eddie says, almost breathless.

He’s even more gorgeous up close, with his full mouth and doe eyes and moles dotting his face and neck and shoulders.

“What are you doing in there?” he asks again.

“What do you mean?” the boy asks.

“People say there’s a monster in the lake. You should be careful.”

A smile tugs at the boy’s mouth as he says, “People say a lot of things. But nothing’s ever happened to me when I swim here.”

Eddie nods. People say all kinds of shit, so he isn't surprised that the monster in Lover’s Lake is probably just a myth that got repeated too many times.

“I’m Eddie,” he says, wondering where this guy came from. He doesn't recognize him from school—he’d remember a face like that—so he must be visiting relatives or something over the summer.

“I’m Steve,” he says, drifting a little closer. “You should come in the water sometime. It’s nice.”

Eddie smiles. “Maybe sometime. Not exactly dressed for it right now though,” he says, a little ruefully, looking down at his jeans.

He kind of wishes he had the confidence to strip down to his briefs and dive into the water, feel its cool touch on his overly warm skin. He’s been sitting out here a while now—and now that he thinks about it, he doesn't remember hearing a splash when Steve got into the water. He must have really been distracted by his thoughts.

Steve shrugs and wades back further into the lake. “I’m here all the time, so if you ever decide to come in, I’ll find you.”

Those words haunt Eddie after he leaves the lake, after watching Steve disappear under the surface and not seeing where he popped back up.

He sees Steve in his dreams that night, whispering the words I’ll find you over and over as he reaches out as if to touch Eddie, but the touch never lands on him. He spends the entire dream craving that touch, wanting it, but never getting it—just listening to him tell him he’ll find him.

He wakes up in a daze, thoughts only on the boy in the lake—his voice, his hair, the way his skin looked in the sunlight.

He slips a hand in his boxers and he isn't surprised to feel how wet he is. The dream was confusing and weird, but craving someone’s touch isn't new.

There have only ever been a handful of guys here in Hawkins that he’s been attracted to, but he’s always only ever crushed on them from afar. There’s no way he’d risk the wrath of some backwater jock by hitting on him.

There’s something alluring about Steve though, even though from what little Eddie’s seen of him probably suggests that he’s also a jock. But he’s not from here. There’s something about that that makes it less scary, thinking about approaching him, asking him if he wants to fool around.

Worst thing that could happen is that he gets the shit kicked out of him and can't go to Lover’s Lake for the rest of the summer. But Steve will be gone back to wherever he came from come September. A guy like him has probably got plans for college already neatly lined up, swimming scholarship or whatever sport he plays that makes him almost inhumanly fast in the water.

So he thinks about it as he touches himself. Thinks about going back to the lake and finding him there, waiting for Eddie.

I knew you’d come back, he’d say when Eddie dove into the lake.

Eddie imagines being brave enough to wade close enough to feel the heat of Steve's skin.

He’d say something like I came back for you or something equally as cheesy.

Eddie fucks two fingers into his cunt, the palm of his hand grinding against his dick as he thinks about Steve reaching out just like in his dream, but this time actually touching him.

He thinks he’d probably gasp at the first touch of Steve's fingers grazing his skin, touching his tits, thumbing at his nipples.

His breathing picks up as he thinks about Steve's hand slipping between his thighs, touching him like he’s touching himself now.

Maybe he’d spin him around and let him feel the expanse of his chest pressed against his back as he touches Eddie’s dick with deft fingers.

He’d press them tight together so Eddie could feel how hard he is for him, just for him.

Maybe he’d take him like that, right there in the lake for anyone walking by to see. He’d press inside him, stretching him out on his cock until Eddie's eye crossed from the pressure building inside him.

Maybe he’d turn Eddie's chin with his free hand and kiss him, slow and deep as he fucks into him from behind.

Eddie comes with his fist pressed against his mouth to keep the noises from spilling out as he clenches around his fingers, riding it out.

He sinks boneless into his sheets, still thinking about warm brown eyes and big hands all over his body.

chapter 2

[connabeth]

rick really woke up and said "what if i give the people what they want for once" and gave us grumpy black cat introvert percy and sunshine golden retriever extrovert annabeth we never knew we needed

also no one's talking about how percy made friends with annabeth's college's security guard (Florence or smthn?) so he's the only one allowed to walk in her campus anytime?

also I found a typo in the third chapter where dave was accidentally called paul which I found really funny

1) i’m glad this series is doing justice to annabeth’s personality because she spent so much of pjo & hoo caught in an inner turmoil of hurt and uncertainty and self-loathing and insecurity and fear given the circumstances of luke’s betrayal and percy’s imminent death. in spite of it all, she was still a bastion of hope and light throughout those books, but she deserves to be silly and unburdened by the weight of the world now that she has percy back and there’s no big prophecy (unresolved trauma aside). i think, in her mind, even though new, crazy things keep being thrown at them and she most certainly deals with a latent fear of losing percy at any moment, she’s resolute and confident that they can overcome anything that gets in their way of their dream of going to college and finding peace together because she feels that invigorated and wants it that bad. even if greco-egyptian gods or a triple goddess or a mortal apollo pop up throughout their senior year. i feel like she’s giving herself the freedom to just let go, breathe, be sure everything will be okay in the end, and just be excited about things without drowning in worry for once, which i love. she deserves to feel that childlike enthusiasm she was deprived of for so long. her confidence that they’ll be okay extends to percy being able to complete all his classwork and applications, which in turn reinforces his determination.

2) as for percy, he’s definitely the more outwardly insecure out of the two, mainly because of how his academic prowess pales in comparison to hers and the fact that he feels he doesn’t deserve her and she’s way better than him. percy thinking her SODNYC friends perceive him in the same critical light obviously isn’t helping. it’s evident in the way he’s amazed when he looks at her, disbelieving for a second that she’s his girlfriend, and how he observes her interaction with others more similar to her, feeling like an outsider who can’t understand that part of her brain the way her friends can. it’s even more abundantly clear when he believes “She would always succeed whether I was around or not,” which in theory is a sweet sentiment to have about your very capable girlfriend, but academic and social success aside, she needs him as much as he needs her and she’d see no point in being in california without him. but his insecurities and easy jealousy prevent him from fully understanding this even if he innately knows it’s a universal truth that they’re meant to be together. however, all this being said, percy’s characterization in wottg so far is a little…weird. in order for you to literally pee your pants, something must scare you or catch you off guard really, really bad. so while it makes sense for him to fear a powerful goddess, wetting his boxers seems like an extreme reaction. i know rick was probably just trying to insert immature humor, but the implications are not what he was going for considering this is the boy who didn’t have that reaction staring down titans and giants and nyx and tartarus himself. so forgive me if i think it’s a little insane that percy having such a visceral reaction to a goddess 13 year old hazel fared well against is out of character, even after taking into consideration his fear of not receiving and completing the remaining quests on time. it makes sense for him to be nervous and on edge, given the quiet of the past month, but that amount of fear towards a deity who’s not the most scary thing he’s faced down is an interesting choice since rick isn’t known for realistic depictions of PTSD and that likely isn’t the intention here. it’s also curious how it’s implied even a goddess as primordial as aphrodite caves in to hecate…

3) florence is the goat and i love percy making random friends to help his cause. he doesn’t go out of his way to befriend others in the mortal world unless they approach him first or there’s an opportunity there. and the fact that annabeth can a casually ask her friend to cover for her being gone from her dorm for several days makes me think this is far from the first time she’s snuck out for prolonged periods of time👀

4) this is an INSANE typo to have in a book because clearly not a single person proofread it and it doesn’t surprise me that it got past rick, but becky and several rounds of editors and everyone else in his circle who’s read the book not picking up on it prior to publication is wild. rick is too eager to have his self-insert be everywhere and it shows💀

[scheodingers-muppet]

@yournowheregirl's dolly fic has turned me into a southern Eddie truther so here this is;

Eddie always hated Hawkins. He hated the cold. He hated the music "scene." He hated the small-town-picket-fence dream all his classmates seemed to have. He hated the way it never felt like home.

That's probably because it wasn't home. Never had been. When Wayne's job transferred him to Indiana right before he started middle school, he wanted nothing more but get through school and hi-tail it back to Arkansas before you could say "Bless your heart!"

But when does anything ever go according to plan?

It was okay at first; he started to make some friends in his classes. Took up band. Wayne got him a Johnny Cash record and guitar for his birthday and he started to spend his free time learning his favorite songs to sing around the bonfire on warm Summer nights. Sure, it wasn't what his friends listened to, but he loved seeing their faces when he got to share a little piece of home with them.

In turn, his friends shared pieces of them with Eddie. Introduced him to Dio and Dungeons and Dragons. Eddie loved it immediately, being flooded with memories of reading The Hobbit with Wayne on sleepless nights after he first moved in.

Slowly, the country and flannels were replaced with metal and leather jackets. His accent slowly faded, not having a strong one to begin with unless he was drunk or excited. Occasionally, you could still hear it, if you listened closely to his rambles on metal music and fantasy stories. He started growing out his hair and gave himself some tattoos. His dream of moving back home turned into wanting to tour, to bring Corroded Coffin on the road.

Then, Wayne gets hurt. Dislocates his knee. It isn't anything horrible. But it's enough to keep him from working for a few months. Eddie tries to get a job to help with the bills, but who really wants to hire a 17-year-old metal head who needs every Friday off for D&D and every other Saturday for band practice? So he found himself on Reefer Rick’s couch, getting the run down on how to deal to his classmates.

He started to fall behind in class, to worried about keeping the lights on and his uncle’s medical bills paid. Even after Wayne starts working again, he’s built up a reputation as the school’s dealer so he keeps it up. He ends up needing to repeat senior year. His friends and original band members gradate and move out of state for school. Eddie's world begins to crumble.

He tries to rebuild what he can. He's befriended some more kids through Hellfire and even through he stopped doing school band a few years ago, he still knows enough talented kids to keep Corroded Coffin going. His life starts to look up again.

Until spring break of '86.

Eddie's always hated Hawkins. Hated the weather. Hated the excuse of sweet tea. Hated the monsters that lived in the Hell dimension below it, even if he didn't always know they were there.

What he loves however, is his people. His people, who quietly grew from just his uncle, to the band, to the Hellfire kids, then suddenly, a group of monster fighting teenagers.

His life starts to fall back in place. His recovery from the Upside Down is taking it's sweet time, but he's getting there. The kids surprised him with a new cane after he complained his wasn't "metal enough." Will drew up the design - the base being a black and red dragon with a skull that matches one of his favorite rings for the handle - and Hopper got it carved for him. Steve is driving him around most places until he's cleared to drive again. Even though his name is cleared, he still doesn't feel comfortable going many places so it's mainly doctors appointments right now. Robin paints his nails red and black on days when he's bedbound and Nancy helps with his hair since he can't get his stitches wet yet.

He slowly starts to share his favorite parts of home with them. He plays "Ring of Fire" at the bonfires Steve hosts over the summer. He gives Dustin his old flannels that don't fit him anymore. He teaches El how to make sweet tea the right way and starts to include more southern folklore in his campaigns.

Him and Steve grow closer; finally starting dating after six months of dancing around their feelings. They get a small apartment together after a while. Eddie proudly hangs his two guitars on the wall in their bedroom, playing Steve songs on his acoustic when he can't sleep. They host Hellfire in their living room every Friday and Uncle Wayne over for dinner on Saturdays. Corroded Coffin still play gigs at the Hideout, but they're starting to get some big gigs out of town. After years of repeated head trauma, Steve ends up needing hearing aids. It's not ideal, but it does mean he gets to stand front row at all of Eddie's concerts and not worry about his hears ringing.

He never does end up moving back home, but he does make a home in Hawkins. He brings in little elements of his childhood into their new house; a two-story with lots of windows. Him, Steve, and Wayne spend a weekend planting apple blossoms and sunflowers. Well, Wayne sits on the rocking chair, strumming on the guitar he got Eddie all those years ago while the boys make a garden. He keeps sweet tea in the fridge at all times and calls Steve his "Sweetpea" and doesn't try and hide his accent. Steve eats it up, asking him to say it again and again the first time he hears it.

The band makes it big and Eddie goes on tour. He sends Steve postcards at every stop and makes sure they play in Arkansas. He brings the guys to where he grew up, telling them stories at every stop. When Steve is on summer break from teaching, he brings him down too. It slowly becomes a tradition to spend summers "back home." It stops becoming just the two of them when they're able to adopt a little girl, who Eddie almost solely refers to as his "Darlin'" and writes a song for her, about a little boy who grew up longing for home only to realize he was able to build it back right where he stood. They band plays it on every tour, even if it's a lot softer than the rest of their songs. They play it for the first time at a "hometown-esc" show in Little Rock, where he first tells the world about his Darlin', with her and Steve watching from the side of the stage.

Eddie's always hated Hawkins, but he's never hated home.

[theoddcatlady]

What's Inside the Witch's Coffin?

I know people that would literally murder me if they knew I put this on the internet. But I don’t see many other options. If I go straight to the cops odds are I’LL get blamed for what happened to my friends and get thrown straight in jail for a multitude of reasons. And I know at least one of them is alive and I need to find them.

I’m a smuggler. I… come into possession of objects I shouldn’t have and sell it to whatever fat cat wants a new piece for their mantle. The Witch Coffin is probably the biggest thing I was gonna try and sneak into the states, but that was because it was a specific ‘request’. The Witch Coffin was discovered in eastern Europe, and to be honest I’m not sure why the buyer wanted it so damn badly. But hey, me and my crew were gonna get a mil and we figured we might as well try, right?

Theft itself went off without a hitch, but the next day I got picked up for being spotted at the scene. That’s all they had, but I still got kept in lock up for three days. Glad they let me out without a fight in the end but the moment I got back to the hideout I knew something was wrong. I could hear the flies buzzing.

There was so much blood. On the walls, on the ceiling, it looked like a guy just went kaboom while standing in the middle of one of the bedrooms. I found body parts scattered all over the house and the coffin was just… gone. What I saw could make a lesser man wet himself.

One of my crew, Nicole, she left her notebook behind. I always teased her about how she scribbled away in that damn thing every chance she got, but it helped clue me in about what happened

I have to find her. Just in case I can’t, or if I meet the same fate as my buddies, maybe one of you can.

~*~

Item was successfully retrieved. Item is a six by three foot coffin made of a blue gray stone, covered with intricate carvings. The lid depicts a carving of a long haired woman, positioned with her arms spread out with a chain in one hand and the other hand appearing to be clawed. I think she once had a face, but time has worn it away. The sides both depict various tortures and executions- drowning, stoning, being burnt at the stake, hanging, etc.

There is definitely something inside, I hear something rattling about as we dragged it off the truck. Finn keeps bugging us about just ‘taking a peek’ but if he so much as lays a finger on the lid I’m breaking said finger. We cannot deliver damaged goods to a client, that would ruin our reputation.

Not that he could lift the lid on his own anyway. Damn thing weighs a ton and kid’s a shrimp.

___

Something’s wrong. Rick has been gone over an hour and he was just supposed to duck out real quick for smokes.

This wouldn’t suck so much if he wasn’t the only one who knew how to contact the client. Abe agrees with me that we just need to lay low until Rick comes back. Finn’s nervous but he doesn’t have the balls to actually bail. He doesn’t know where I stashed our passports anyway.

___

Finn tried to lift the lid. ‘Just for a peek’. And as expected he nearly broke his hand and ended up cutting his palm on one of the sides. Fucking moron.

Abe bandaged him up while I cleaned the coffin up, Finn got some of his blood on it and I didn’t want it to stain. Got most of it off and hopefully the client doesn’t notice anything.

___

Think the heating broke. Abe is taking a look but the temperature dropped from a cozy 70 to a chilly 62. It’s going to get even colder tonight. Time to bundle up and think of those white sand beaches I’ll be vacationing on as I sleep.

___

Wish I had some trazodone left. Having trouble staying asleep. Probably the cold.

Maybe I can get a real prescription when we’re back in the states.

___

Had some strange dreams.

It was like I was walking through a story. Only a member of the audience rather than part of the play.

I saw a woman wearing a flowing, emerald green dress. Her dark hair hid her face from me, but all she was doing was picking various plants and adding them to her basket. Least at first.

Then another woman burst through the undergrowth and fell to her knees. Compared to the woman in the green dress, she looked dirty, simple. I couldn’t understand everything she said, but she kept pointing to the bruise on her face. Looked like someone clocked her good.

The wit woman in the green dress gently took her hands and her voice rung clear as a bell.

‘Come with me, and live joyful and free.’

___

Spiders. I really hate spiders.

There must’ve been a nest in the floor because Finn started screaming and when we ran into the coffin room to tell him to shut his pie hole when we saw the spiders. Big ones, covering the lid of the coffin.

I let Abe deal with that because I have a limit. Tell me to cause a distraction, blow up a truck, steal the crown jewels, I’ll do it. Don’t make me deal with god damn SPIDERS.

___

More fitful sleep just led to more weird dreams. I think my dreams took inspiration from that damn coffin, I swear the woman in green looks just like the carving on the lid.

She was teaching a group of women, least it looked like it. Still couldn’t see her face, but the group ate up her every word. The class was just women, some young as ten or eleven and the oldest looking to be in their seventies.

The woman was picking up certain plants or berries and quietly explaining their uses. Then she pointed to one of the youngest in the front row and asked, ‘Are you ready for your baptism?’

The girl nodded excitedly and the others gave her plenty of space as the woman walked to her. Taking a stone knife from her belt, the woman sliced open a part of her arm and held above the girl’s head.

Scarlet spattered against the girl’s cheeks and tongue before I woke up again. I think I’m staying awake until Rick gets back.

___

Still cold as hell. I’m going to kill Rick if the reason he’s been gone so wrong is because he hit it off with some hooker.

___

Breaking News: Big ole Abe is actually scared of something. Snakes.

Went to go check on the coffin and much to both our surprise there were three big ole guys just curled up on top. Abe screamed like a little girl and ran out of the room. They weren’t even a poisonous variety.

I don’t even know how they got to the coffin because they were sleepy with cold when I picked them up. Coffin itself is even colder. Like touching ice.

Tossed all their scaly butts outside. I wonder if I should tell Abe I once owned a ball python. ___

I must be on edge from the cold. Abe managed to get a lil fire going in the fireplace but I swear to God I saw a shadow while we were all trying to warm up near it. Like a shadow in the hallway. Like of someone heading to the coffin.

I bolted for the hall and back to the coffin room, but no one was there. No one in the rest of the house either and we searched attic to basement. Finn kept teasing me about being paranoid but Abe told me it was all right. When he was still in the army and was patrolling late one night he nearly shot up a bush thinking it was an insurgent. When you’re tired and anxious, it’s natural to see things in the dark.

___

It’s now 55 degrees in the house and dropping. Another five it’ll be the same outside and inside. I was built for Florida. Not this.

___

Found another snake in the coffin room, curled up in the corner. Didn’t recognize the species and Google isn’t telling me squat so I’m not gonna screw with it. I shall call him Herbert. Abe thinks we should call him Satan.

Finn called me paranoid earlier but he is even worse. He thinks the snake came from inside the coffin. Bitch the damn thing has a lid that’s probably over a hundred pounds. Not to mention it fits so well with the box itself a flea probably couldn’t wiggle out.

___

Maybe Finn was right to be paranoid.

I saw more shadows and started searching the house again. I swear I saw someone walking up and down the fucking hallway and I had to be sure. Finn went with me up to the second floor. Still teasing but I was glad not to be alone.

On the way down the stairs Finn suddenly just went flying down, head over heels. Landed on his arm at the bottom and I heard one nasty crunch.

Abe managed to put it in a sling but we can’t go for real help. Not now. We can’t have anyone become suspicious of us. Cops are still on high alert about the Witch Coffin going missing.

I hope that’s not what happened to Rick. Idiot.

___

50 degrees. So freaking tired.

___

I’m officially spooked. This isn’t the first time I’ve transported artifacts. Hell this isn’t even my first time transporting something from a grave.

But the shadows are whispering and the guys can hear them too. I enter a room and I can hear a soft voice. To me it’s just that. Muttering. But the moment Abe or Finn gets in the room that voice turns… Angry. Cold.

I don’t believe in ghosts. I don’t believe in ghosts.

It’s officially colder in the house than it is outside.

___

I don’t know how I fell asleep it’s so fucking COLD and the shadows are getting louder. I can’t make out what they’re saying but I know they’re saying something.

My latest dream. I don’t understand it.

The witch’s house is on fire. All her students are dead. Heads cut off.

The witch herself kneels before a mob. Her chest is full of arrows, her throat has been cut, her legs are broken in so many places… but her wounds still continue to flow with blood and she’s not fucking dying.

I finally catch a glimpse of her face as two men drag her to a box- no not a box. The coffin. She can’t be any older than eighteen. She is just a scared little girl who just wanted to live life in peace with her friends. She doesn’t know why she has these gifts. She doesn’t know why she can’t die. All she knows is that all her friends are now dead and it is her fault.

They throw her in the coffin and before the lid is placed on I hear her scream.

We have to let her out.

___

We are opening the Witch’s Coffin. There are these weird snakes everywhere and spiders are spinning webs of ice. It’s cold enough that I can see my fucking breath.

The coffin itself is bleeding. I thought it was just left over from where Finn cut himself but there is blood dripping from other parts of the coffin now. Parts he didn’t touch.

It is time to free the witch, no matter the consequences.

___

Rick, if you find this, your passport is under the sink in the basement bathroom. Get out of the country. Run for your life.

We opened the coffin and I thought for a second all that was left was bones. Dry. Dusty bones.

Then the lid cracked. Blood began seeping from the bones. Muscles, veins, organs, skin all grew back. The witch’s hair sprouting from her new scalp, growing until it nearly reached her ankles in length.

Then her eyes shot open. Her colorless eyes.

But she could see well enough to lunge at Finn.

Her fingers grew claws and shredded through him like he was tissue paper. He didn’t stand a chance. She ripped off his head and I saw her stick her hand up his neck when Abe tackled her, screaming at me to run. Run as fast as I could.

I hid in the basement. I prayed for God to have mercy on my soul.

But the Witch hasn’t killed me.

When she got to the basement, she was soaked in blood and cradling Abe’s head in her arms. I shut my eyes and prayed she would make it quick.

She sat beside me, stroking Abe’s fluffy hair.

Then I heard Abe’s voice.

“How am I not dead?”

I opened my eyes to look at his head. The Witch had pressed two of her fingers to his lips. His eyes flicked around and his face was frozen in pure terror.

The Witch spoke, her voice strangely younger than I imagined it would be.

“Because. After consuming the other man’s brain, I realized I would need you and the woman. Simple knowledge isn’t enough to survive in such a startling and new world.” She turned her pale gaze on me. Slitted pupils seemed to sprout from the center of her eyes as they focused on me.

“Help me and I give this man a new body.”

She’s in the shower now, not even a foot away from me. Take away the eyes she does look normal enough. Abe’s head can’t talk without her magic, but he’s sentient. I can see the fear in his eyes.

I don’t know if she will actually keep to her word but that’s all I have to go off of.

Rick, please, save us.

[maya-matlin]

What are all of your favorite and least favorite Degrassi episodes and why?

🤯🤯🤯

But seriously, I'm not sure where to start. :p I don't think I could possibly go into much detail about why I like or dislike all the episodes, but I'll try.

Degrassi Junior High season 1:

Favorites:

(1) The Cover-Up: good introduction to Rick, the first serious Degrassi plot, the first time Joey (one of my favorite characters) isn't the worst

(2) The Great Race: strong message about sexism in sports, Snake and Melanie play bigger roles for the first time

(3) Rumor Has It: Caitlin questions her sexuality and it's miles ahead of what the Next Class writers tried to do with Grace, surprisingly progressive for its time

(4) Best Laid Plans: It's basically The Mating Game but slightly better, the Yick and Arthur subplot with Swamp Sex Robots is funny

(5) It's Late: Spike gets pregnant and the arc paves the way for TNG and beyond

(6) Parent's Night: I like seeing Wheels' conflict with wanting to know his biological father and yet feeling disloyal to his adoptive parents, continuation of Spike's pregnancy arc, the beginning of Zit Remedy

Least favorites:

(1) The Experiment: Yick and Arthur were never that interesting when they had to carry a main plot, but the story probably should have focused more on Yick who was low key being bullied by Raditch

(2) Nothing to Fear: LD isn't one of my favorite characters and for whatever reason, this story line wasn't super interesting to me. The subplot is literally a snake being loose in the school and the awkwardness of Snake the character having that nickname.

(3) Revolution: Underwhelming finale that gets kind of flashback heavy towards the end, Stephanie doesn't undergo much character growth in season 2 making it kind of pointless

Degrassi Junior High season 2:

Favorites:

(1) Eggbert: follow up to Spike's pregnancy and a lot of Shane/Spike interaction with him starting to become a more well rounded character

(2) A Helping Hand: Lucy gets a lot more development, Wheels and LD back Lucy up 100% and are very supportive after she's sexually abused

(3) Great Expectations: I don't even like Liz, but I like the message about assuming things based on how a person dresses or presents themselves. Joey kind of sucks in this episode, but he's also entertaining and still oddly lovable. I like the subplot with Arthur's wet dreams.

(4) Dinner and a Show: focus on Shane who is a very underrated character with him wanting to assert himself while being held back by domineering parents

(5) Bottled Up: I like the main plot with Kathleen dealing with her mother's alcoholism. You start to see why she is the way she is without it necessarily excusing her prior bad behavior. Plus, Rick/Kathleen. It should have been a thing.

(6) Trust Me: Joey, Wheels and Snake spend the whole episode hanging out and it's great

(7) He's Back: Follow up to Lucy's story line with Susie now being a victim of Mr. Colby with the only real downside being that we never see the resolution

(8) Pass Tense: Spike goes into labor, Joey is forced to repeat a grade which leads to a lot of character growth and getting together with Caitlin

Least favorites:

(1) Fight: just kind of underwhelming and forgettable even though it's the first time we see Dwayne who ends up being one of my favorites in the last season of Degrassi High

(2) Sealed with a Kiss: It's fine. It's another mostly forgettable episode. I like Erica and Heather as characters, but most of their plots did nothing for me aside from A New Start.

(3) Dog Days: I just feel like Stephanie's depression felt kind of.. cliché and not a very believable depiction. When you think about how characters like Cam, Maya and even Ashley at times were written, it stands out.

Degrassi Junior High season 3:

Favorites:

(1) Can't Live with 'Em: One of the most tragic, depressing episodes of the entire franchise. Wheels was never the same after this.

(2) A Big Girl Now: I don't even know. Lucy is one of my favorites, so most of her episodes were great. She finally gets rid of shitty Paul only for it to be revealed he lied about sleeping with her.

(3) Loves Me, Loves Me Not: JAITLIN. It's the true beginning of them, and Joey was an idiot for overlooking Caitlin for Liz.

(4) Food for Thought: Kathleen's eating disorder story line was really well done. I wish more had been done with it, but I at least like Kathleen initially refusing help because it's realistic.

(5) Twenty Bucks: More Jaitlin. Snake and Melanie are cute. Shane makes the decision to spend his money on concert tickets rather than giving Spike child support which leads to his accident.

(6) Taking Off: More Wheels angst over his parents' deaths, Shane jumps/falls off a bridge and ends up with a lifelong disability; I'm basically recapping the story lines but basically it's a very significant episode that has a massive effect on the characters' futures

(7) Black and White: Degrassi tackles racism for the first time. Michelle's parents are painfully realistic when claiming they "don't see race" but that people should "stick with their own kind". BLT and Michelle were great and deserved SO much better.

(8) Bye-Bye Junior High: Honestly, most of this show's season finales aren't heavy hitter episodes compared to a lot of TNG's. But because they usually wrap the season into a nice bow, I still like them for sentimental reasons. That being said, the school literally burns down in this one, so there's that. Jaitlin <3 Spike explodes due to feeling overwhelmed by teen motherhood. I wish we'd seen more of that because for such an important character, she was surprisingly pushed into the background more often than not.

Least favorites:

(1) Season's Greetings: It's a clip show about Yick and Arthur. I watch this one once a year around the holidays and it never gets better. Holiday is the superior Christmas episode.

(2) Star-Crossed: It's fine. It's definitely not a bad episode, but none of the story lines hold my interest all that much. I don't care about Clutch getting together with any of the girls.

(3) Making Whoopee: Arthur isn't a main plot type of character. It sucks that his dad broke up with his girlfriend, but we never see him again and don't have any reason to be invested in this family.

Degrassi High season 1:

Favorites:

(1) A New Start: It's one of Degrassi's strongest season premieres. Overall, I probably liked Erica's abortion story line best out of all of them. There seemed to be more fallout from what happened compared to someone like Manny whose abortion aftermath basically couldn't be mentioned again due to Accidents Will Happen being banned in America. Plus, I think the show did a really good job introducing the new Degrassi High set and establishing it quickly after three years in Junior High.

(2) Everybody Wants Something: The Zits make a music video. Joey and Caitlin broke up which hurts me, but provided good angst. I don't even know. This one's iconic and probably the first episode I think of when I think of OG Degrassi.

(3) Nobody's Perfect: I loved Kathleen's abuse story line. Out of all the abuse story lines, this more felt the most.. intense? Gritty? I'm not sure. Scott was probably the most believable abusive boyfriend of all of them which is probably low key because the actor turned out to be a real life predator and therefore had bad vibes all along. Plus, Jaitlin breakup aftermath.

(4) Sixteen: Michelle becomes more independent and starts living on her own. I just love Michelle, so I enjoyed this story line. I think this is also the episode where Joey and Snake were in driver's ed, which was fun.

(5) Testing One, Two, Three: Joey finds out he has a learning disability. More definitely could have been done with that, but Joey was one of my favorites and I liked seeing him come to terms and kind of get the help he needed from Caitlin. Also, Jaitlin <3 Caitlin breaks Claude's nose, which I kind of love. There's also a fun subplot with most of the class attempting to cheat on the test.

Least favorites:

(1) Dream On: This is another Arthur episode. I don't care about his crush on Caitlin. Caitlin also kind of sucks in this one because she's basically cheating on Joey and yet using Arthur to do it. Not my favorite.

(2) Natural Attraction: I don't dislike this one, but it was definitely a choice to focus the aftermath on Erica's abortion during the second half of the season on Heather. I don't doubt that Heather was struggling, but I'm not that interested in seeing a pro life person's trauma over her sister's abortion.

(3) Stressed Out: This was a forgettable finale. It focuses on Caitlin's relationship with Ms. Avery, but that dynamic faded away for the most part after season 1. So I'm less invested. Michelle is also randomly abusing caffeine pills, something that mostly comes across as awkward and poorly written.

Degrassi High season 2:

Favorites:

(1) Bad Blood: Lots of character development for Dwayne. It has a very strong A plot. I love that this kind of solidifies the eventual friendship between Joey and Dwayne, one of my favorite dynamics from OG Degrassi.

(2) Crossed Wires: I'm not the biggest Liz fan, but finding out her back story is heartbreaking. While I do think more could have been done with the revelation that she was survivor, I liked that we saw her begin to heal. Alex and Tessa were cute together. There's a nice Joey/Dwayne subplot.

(3) The All Nighter: It's hard to explain why I like this episode. Kathleen's character progression was really interesting. She experienced so much trauma through the years and yet you kind of forget how much of that was supposed to a secret or something that only Melanie knew. Melanie exposing Kathleen's secrets was really dramatic and just sad. This episode had one of Degrassi's more realistic portrayals of weed. The subplot with the boys playing poker was fun. It also birthed my Luke/Arthur crackship that no one likes except me. I feel like Next Class tried to do something similar with #HugeButTrue, but it wasn't nearly as good.

(4) Home Sweet Home: Ugh, Wheels. He finally hits rock bottom (at least prior to the movie) and slowly starts to redeem himself after going on a downward trajectory throughout the High years. This might be the episode where Michelle moves home? There's a similar plot with Caitlin that happens around the same time, so I'm never 100% sure if the Michelle plot happens in the this episode and Caitlin's in the next or vice versa. Anyways.

(5) Showtime: Claude kills himself and everyone is affected by it. It was a controversial choice to make the suicide victim someone so unlikable, but in this case I think it really worked. In the end, once you're gone, it's all about the people you leave behind. We see hints of that with Claude's friend, Joanne, who isn't a major character. Then obviously, Caitlin is forced to deal with a lot of mixed emotions. Plus, Jaitlin. <3 Snake gets a rare dramatic plot after finding Claude's body.

(6) One Last Dance: This is another sentimental favorite. Nothing huge happens for the most part, but it's the official end of the series. Joey and Caitlin finally get back together. Dwayne reveals his HIV positive status with his character growth finally being complete. It's just a nice episode.

Least favorites:

(1) Loyalties: This one's just kind of underwhelming. I hated that BLT and Michelle had to break up and that one day, BLT seemingly didn't care about Michelle. I feel like Michelle was treated really unfairly during that, so I wasn't happy to Simon and Alexa so flippant about Michelle's feelings. Snake/Michelle were cute, but I wasn't that invested in them.

(2) Extracurricular Activities: This one felt like a filler episode. Mostly, I found everyone except Bronco annoying in this one. Why is a supposed well known band filming a music video at Degrassi?

(3) Three's a Crowd: This is petty, but I like Snake/Spike more than Snake/Michelle and Tessa/Alex over Tessa/Yick so I'm disappointed those ships lost out. Overall, it's basically a relationship/love triangle episode and I'm not a fan.

Bonus: School's Out: There's no real category for this one because it aired like a year after the second season. But needless to say, I mostly love it. It's iconic and unforgettable. No one will ever forget "You were fucking Tessa Campanelli,", the Joey/Caitlin/Tessa triangle and Wheels KILLING A KID. I love TNG and the later Degrassi years, but the show had a tendency to conclude character arcs with hopeful endings rather than blowing apart people's lives in pretty depressing ways. This movie had the kind of ending that sticks with you.

Degrassi TNG season 1:

Favorites:

(1) Mother and Child Reunion: It's a strong series premiere and probably one of my most memorable episodes of the first season. Many characters from the original series return, which is fun. Jaitlin <3 Emma's near rape is horrifying, but it led to a good bonding moment between Emma and Spike that kind of bridged the generations.

(2) Coming of Age: I mostly like this episode for its subplot. Emma gets her first period and after initially feeling some embarrassment and shame, she ends up completely owning it. I definitely didn't know how awesome and significant that was until many years later. Plus, feminist Spike telling off the ice cream creep. It's another thing that hits differently after you become an adult. But I also (mostly) like the Ashley/Jimmy story line. It's interesting how much Ashley values her independence so early on and how that contrasts with her romantic relationships. I feel like this is something that follows her through the years.

(3) Rumours and Reputations: Mostly, I like this one because of how well it incorporates all the characters. There aren't very many episodes that find an excuse to get every character involved in the main plot.

(4) Friday Night: Sean and Emma go on their first date. This is when I'm a fan of their relationship, so it's actually fun to see the beginning of it.

(5) Under Pressure: I pretty much love all of the Sean centric episodes outside of season 6 and this is no exception. I like hearing more of his back story and seeing how his issues over that and his anger cost him Emma.

(6) Jagged Little Pill: Iconic. People shit on Ashley all the time, but this is one of the best finales and she's easily the best part of it. Unpopular opinion, but I always enjoyed Ashley's identity story lines. It was fun seeing her cut loose, even though it ended very badly. Not to mention JT and Toby thinking they're high. Love it.

Least favorites:

(1) Family Politics: This episode is underwhelming after the series premiere. It's kind of a remake of the first episode of Junior High in some ways. It's not a favorite.

(2) Wannabe: As much as I like that this is beginning of Manny separating herself from Emma and feuding with Paige, a lot of this is told from Emma's point of view. The subplot involves multiple characters trying to win a million dollars via Pringles cans. It's a plot that would only ever happen in the first season.

(3) Cabaret: This one is fine. It's probably the episode I like least from this season, but I can't give a good reason why. Maybe that's it. It doesn't inspire anything in me.

Degrassi TNG season 2:

Favorites:

(1) When Doves Cry: This is easily one of the show's strongest premieres. Craig comes in and immediately becomes one of the most complex characters, adding a lot of weight and depth to the show. Joey becomes more involved from here through the next few seasons. It's telling that so many years later, this episode would probably still be in my personal top 10.

(2) Karma Chameleon: Like I said before, I tend to like Ashley plots. It's hard to watch her get so close to gaining everyone's forgiveness only to completely blow it by the end - both for deserved and undeserved reasons. The ending with Ashley crying as her school picture is taken is painfully real. It's the beginning of Ashley's friendship with Ellie, which is super underrated. Paige starts to feel like a more well rounded character rather than just the mean queen bee of the show.

(3) Shout: This is another episode I love primarily for the main plot. Paige is raped, and it's a story line that follows her through the rest of the season, during season 4 when her case finally goes to trial, and again in season 7 when Paige feels violated by Griffin. Lauren Collins is great in this one. PMS singing "Poor Thing" still gets to me. There's classic Jiberty.

(4) Take My Breath Away: This episode is just funny. Obviously, Craig and Manny's differing memories of their date are entertaining to watch. For Manny, it was a fairy tale. For Craig, a nightmare. I'm definitely not a Cranny shipper, but their arc during the first four seasons holds up really well. Their on again/off again relationship brought about a lot of the drama. For better or worse, it all starts here. Craig's rejection kind of forces Manny to grow up and become very preoccupied with male attention, particularly from Craig who she can't seem to move past for multiple seasons. Even though Marco turns out to be gay, his story line with Ellie is very sweet.

(5) Don't Believe the Hype: This episode is so overlooked, but it's a very important one for its time (2002). Degrassi occasionally dealt with internalized bigotry, but typically not when it wasn't involving homophobia. Hazel feels as though she needs to hide the fact she's Muslim due to a previous hate crime committed against her. On the one hand, this episode can be considered a throwaway due to the Degrassi writers never investing in Hazel and outwardly being racist against Andrea Lewis. But because we see so little of Hazel's perspective and that her background is so unique to the show, an episode like this stands out. Much like Rumours and Reputations, every character has a point of view, even if their views can be considered ignorant and hateful. The JT/Liberty sewing plot is also underrated. JT is embarrassed for being good at sewing because of toxic masculinity. I'm not sure this one is quite as good. I mean, the whole thing ends with JT realizing there are perks literally because he now has an excuse to grope his female classmates. But I like the intent behind it. Plus, Jiberty <3

(6) White Wedding: This is another sentimental favorite. Even though I don't ship Semma as much as I used to and aren't even that invested in Snake and Spike, I have fond memories of watching this episode. There's so much going on with Emma being forced to kind of be a mini adult due to the way Spike raised her. So as a result, she does things like tell Snake about Spike's pregnancy before Spike has even decided if she's going to carry it to term. Personally, things work out a little too conveniently, but I still enjoy it. Sean and Emma's kiss at the end of the episode is still impactful even now. Manny is adorable. In the extended cut, Joey and Caitlin make heart eyes at each other and discuss their failed engagement. #JusticeForJaitlin

(7) Careless Whisper: I don't have much to say about this episode. Marco starts his slow coming out journey. It's always interesting to look back at how afraid Marco was to admit the truth when for so much of his run, he's an out and proud gay man. The Marco/Ellie dynamic is great. Their failed relationship paves the way for their strong, soul mate-like friendship.

(8) Message in a Bottle: It's a Sean episode involving his self worth and unfortunately, that's the kind of shit I eat up. That's about it.

(9) Dressed in Black: I don't even care. I love Ashley's independence and the fact she's adamant on being her true self. And unpopular opinion, Jimmy was in the wrong. While he wasn't outwardly trying to change Ashley, he didn't accept the new Ashley and wasn't on her level. Craig is a disaster, but it's not at all hard to see why they were so drawn to each other. Also, baby Crash <3 JT trying to buy extra large condoms. Oh, the foreshadowing.

(10) How Soon Is Now: I can't talk about this episode without mentioning the scene where Paige confronts Dean and vows to take him to court. It was the first Degrassi scene that deeply affected me. I still get chills to this day. We finally start to see Paige healing and moving forward, and it's beautiful to witness. JT is so sweet in this episode and exactly what Paige needs in that moment. Spinner and Paige become a couple. Marco finally comes out. There aren't that many penultimate episodes that are practically on the same level as the finale, but this is one of them.

(11) Tears Are Not Enough: This episode basically bookends Craig's story line in the season premiere. Craig struggles to decide whether or not he wants to let his dad back into his life. Just as he's made the decision to close that door for good, his dad dies. Craig can't win. My brain is mush at this point, but this episode is an emotional rollercoaster. It's great to see people like Joey and Ashley supporting Craig and stepping up when he needs them most. Also, obligatory Jiberty mention because they have a subplot in the first half.

Least favorites:

(1) Mirror in the Bathroom: This is basically an underwhelming episode. I'm glad Degrassi covered male eating disorders and touched on Terri's body image issues, but this one overall isn't a favorite. But honestly, any episode from this season that isn't Relax isn't bottom of the barrel bad.

(2) Hot for Teacher: This is another underwhelming episode. Season 2 is a fairly strong season, so it's only natural that some episodes will come up short. JT's story line with Hatzilakos isn't super memorable. Spinner and Jimmy's honesty pact is pretty funny, though.

(3) Relax: I just don't understand what the writers were trying to do with this episode. I'm kind of convinced they intentionally gave Liberty/Sarah a bad episode so they could justify ignoring her character going forward. They could have given Liberty any story line and chose to put her in a red cape, trying to emulate Napoleon. What the fuck? The subplot just feels mean to me. Paige and Hazel scheme to make Terri believe Paige is dying because she screwed up her palm reading. There's nothing entertaining about this episode.

(4) Fight for Your Right: Another underwhelming episode. My favorite part about it is watching Emma and Snake figure out their new step dad/step daughter relationship, but this is mostly an Emma protest episode. This isn't Mercy Street or Hungry Eyes, so it doesn't get that wild.

Degrassi TNG season 3:

Favorites (season 3 is my favorite season so it's going to be hard not to list practically every episode):

(1) Father Figure: I pretty much like all the episodes that are very connected to the original series. Emma was a really sympathetic during her search to find Shane. I liked that in the end, she was able to accept both her dads into her life. Craig's involvement was great, too. I wish we'd seen more of their friendship.

(2) U Got the Look: Manny's transformation. That is all. She's my favorite character, and this episode really set her on the path she was on for the rest of the series. This was also when Downtown Sasquatch formed, which is my favorite Degrassi band. At this point in the show, Degrassi has fully come into its own.

(3) Pride: Between Marco's coming out and Snake's cancer diagnosis, this episode is incredibly heartbreaking. This is another strong episode where the writers weren't afraid to make one of the main characters the villain. Even though this is Marco's episode, in a lot of ways it's equally about Spinner and how he reacts in all the worst ways when Marco needs his support the most.

(4) Gangsta Gangsta: This is another character transformation episode. While not as consistently written as Manny's, Sean ends up embracing his worst traits and instincts in a misguided attempt to finally belong somewhere. Somehow, he remains sympathetic even though he's kind of the worst in the second half of the episode.

(5) Should I Stay or Should I Go: Craig/Ashley/Manny. All three are messy and feeling strong emotions. All three make questionable choices, particularly Craig and Manny who end up sleeping together when his relationship status with Ashley is up in the air. I hate this episode and love it at the same time. I also really love the subplot with Wheels coming back to support Snake. It's so nice to see his character end on a more positive note after School's Out.

(6) Whisper to a Scream: This episode is beautifully shot. It's almost surprising that such a serious episode wasn't a two parter. The writers managed to introduce Ellie's problems and show her struggles very quickly, yet somehow the ending didn't feel at all rushed. I don't even know. Season 3 is so good. I don't think this season is bad for a single character.

(7) Holiday: This episode always puts me in the mood for the holidays. God, the messiness of all the triangles and Craig's fuckboy ways. I can't handle it. Joey and Caitlin finally get back together and have their sweet moment at the airport. Manny literally has no right to be sympathetic in this and yet my heart always goes out to her. Ashley dumps Craig's ass and takes the guitar back. There's somehow hope that Craig will eventually learn his lesson. Spoiler alert: he didn't. It's a good time.

(8) Accidents Will Happen: How can I not include the episode that was banned in America for the first couple of years? Obviously, Manny gets an abortion. I've read interviews and excerpts that make it clear how important it was for the show to get this story line right. They really fought for Manny's certainty and lack of remorse, and I love it. This is really the turning point for Manny's character in a lot of ways. There's also the tease of Craig's mental health problems that come into play in season 4.

(9) Take on Me: This episode is a lot of fun. I don't even care about the plot, as thin as it is, because I like seeing all the characters interact. The Breakfast Club is one of my favorite movies, so any remake episodes of it work for me. Sean and Ellie get together and everything is beautiful. The Sean/Jimmy rivalry and Toby/Jimmy friendships are given closure. Hazel actually matters for once.

(10) Don't Dream It's Over: I wish I could say I like this episode because of Terri, but truthfully it's Paige and Spinner who carry this episode for me. Anyways, this episode shows the consequences of escalating abuse and its toxic cycle. It's honestly a shame the Terri/Rick relationship wasn't stretched out a bit more because much more could have been done with it.

(11) Rock and Roll High School: I just love the battle of the bands. Ashley is amazing and gives Craig exactly what he deserves. I have no idea how I can so easily ship them in season 4, but oh well. As intense as Crash breakups and fallouts were, at their best there was a lot of love and passion. This was a fun plot that incorporated most of the grade 10's. Jaitlin were there. I don't think it's a good plot, but I love them so I can't dislike it.

(12) Our House: SEAN'S CHARACTER GROWTH. He finally starts to turn his life around. It kind of kills me that he had to come back for season 6 at all. Late season 3 and season 4 Sean was peak Sean. I also love the way Ellie kind of effortlessly inspires Sean to be better without needing to change him or push him into making the right choices. He does that entirely on his own. And I can't lie. I don't ship JT and Manny anymore, but they were the first couple I ever shipped on this show. So because of that, I always like seeing them become a couple and Manny happily accepting JT's invitation to the dance. Plus, Manny's memorable line about how no one ever talks about the fact Craig was cheating on his girlfriend - just that she was the other woman. It's been giffed multiple times and brought up many times for a reason.

Least favorite:

(1) The Power of Love: This is a filler episode. According to the episode descriptions on my season 3 DVDs, the story line was originally about Marco and Ellie clashing over the Bollywood themed dance. Presumably, this was going to be over cultural appropriation. So I have no idea how the final version ended up being about Jimmy trying to have a perfect night with Hazel with very little drama happening. It's not a bad episode. But compared to episodes 1-21, it's forgettable.

Degrassi TNG season 4:

Favorites:

(1) Ghost in the Machine: This a very strong season premiere. Paige losing her trial hurts so fucking much, but it's sadly true to life. So I can't be sorry Degrassi was willing to go there and show that not every survivor gets a win. Sometimes you have to find closure in your own way, which is what Paige does when she crashes Spinner's car into Dean's and then willingly turns herself in. I feel like I keep coming back to "development" and "turning points," but needless to say this is a new beginning for Paige. Minus the Mr. O bullshit, the rest of her high school years are probably Paige at her best. The Craig/Joey story line is controversial, but I loved seeing more of their development as father and son. Plus, Craig and Ashley reconnect, and I'm a big fan of that.

(2) King of Pain: Marco vs. Alex. This might be my favorite election episode. Marco takes another step in his coming out journey when he admits to his mother that he's gay. He manages to turn Alex's threat to out him into a win for himself when he's inspired to promise to bring the school together. As messy as Alex is during this episode, this is when she finally becomes a real character with potential to be so much more. And I love Alex, so there's that. I deserved more of their friendship.

(3) Mercy Street: Any episode related to the return of Rick and its effect on the rest of the school is automatically great. This story line is exactly the point I was making about Degrassi turning main, usually sympathetic characters into villains to prove a point and to reflect reality. The protest to keep Rick out of Degrassi quickly gets out of hand with people joining in more for the sake of bullying than out of any genuine cause. Emma becomes somewhat problematic when even she proves she isn't above conforming to fit in with the popular kids. The subplot is kind of awful with JT and his tiny penis, but it's entertaining LOL

(4) Anywhere I Lay My Head: Ellie's complex, toxic relationship with her mother was interesting to watch and 100% deserved more screen time. But anyways, Ellie decides to put her own wellbeing ahead of her mother's and finds a better home with Sean. It's very sweet and nice in the moment. I know the writers can't in good conscience have two teenagers living together indefinitely without there being setbacks, but I wish it had lasted a little longer. Or at the least, we'd gotten more follow up between 405 and 409. Sellie though <33 I love them so much. I also really like the carwash as a setting/event, but Spanny will never be a good pairing to me.

(5) Time Stands Still: This is forever the best, most iconic Degrassi episode. I don't think a single person would disagree that this is a mandatory episode to watch. The school shooting creates so many story lines going forward. Things that happen in these episodes having lasting effects all the way to the characters' graduations. Ephraim Ellis's acting is top notch. Really, everyone's is. This is a terrible description, but just talking about the episode makes me want to do a rewatch.

(6) Back in Black: This is another strong Sean episode. His character comes full circle when he leaves the show to move back with his parents. As sad as it is to lose his character and for Sellie to break up, overall Sean's ending would have been satisfying had this been the last time we saw him. Unfortunately, the show didn't do that and so season 6 Sean was mostly just around to spend half the season in jail and then hold Emma's hand once he was released. But I digress. Overall, this was a good portrayal of PTSD and how Sean sometimes lashes out to avoid vulnerability. The subplot was also pretty solid with Toby coping with the death of Rick and JT eventually stepping up to be the support Toby needs.

(7) Voices Carry: You can't go wrong with a Craig episode. At least not during seasons 2-4. The more I think about it, the more I realize that season 4 was the year that most of the characters reach the point where they either get better or worse, becoming richer characters in the process. Craig is no exception. All the hints about Criag's mental health finally manifest into an actual plot when he has a breakdown. This is also peak Crash. Jimmy weirdly provides the comic relief as he reacts to everything Craig says and does with befuddlement. Joey and Ashley are both great supporting characters. The Marco and Spinner cover of Dust is hilarious. JIBERTY. Liberty being a badass. I love it.

(8) Secret: This episode is so dark, but that's why I love it. The chemistry between Emma and Jay is undeniable. Emma doesn't want to be drawn to Jay and he doesn't have the best intentions for seeking her out, but something pushes them together. It's honestly a shame more wasn't done with this dynamic, especially considering Emma's eventual relationship with Peter. What a waste. But even beyond all of that, this episode is primarily about Emma and how she's lost her way after the shooting. I love it when Degrassi is so willing to take such big risks with their main, supposedly good characters. There aren't that many main girls that end up contracting STDs from the slimy fuckboy of the show (pre-Manny) in a misguided attempt to regain control after trauma. I didn't love every writing decision made for Emma, but I like that she wasn't pigeonholed into being one specific thing. Both subplots are great. This is the first and last time I enjoy the dynamic between Craig and Ellie. Because in all honesty, pairing them together for any kind of story line made sense and would have been a good idea. The execution was just SO bad. But I do like that Craig and Ashley grow closer and communicate openly about Craig's needs. The Jimmy/Craig/Marco trio is also great.

(9) Eye of the Tiger: This episode probably singlehandedly sets up large parts of Spinner's and Jimmy's season 5 arcs. Jimmy finds out about Spinner's role in the shooting. It's painful to watch. This is another story line where a character is clearly trash and doesn’t deserve sympathy. But because Degrassi is overall pretty well written and the writers make us love the characters, you can't help but still root for them. This story line also introduces a moral dilemma with no actual right answer. Maybe Jimmy deserved to know Spinner betrayed him, but he didn't necessarily need to know and didn't gain anything from that devastation or the loss of his best friend. Anyways, Spinner had some of the best character growth and the most consistent, believable redemption arc, so I suppose it all worked out.

(10) Moonlight Desires: As much as I hate what this episode does to Marco's relationship with Dylan and Dylan's character (who never really recovers IMO), I love it for Marco. You really see how far he's come and how comfortable he is in his identity as a gay man. I honestly wish we'd seen more of the activist side of Marco. During the college years, they mostly reduced Marco to being the boring one who obsessed over Dylan and not much else. Also, the subplot with Spinner and Jay is really strong. Spinner finally reaches a breaking point and starts his slow redemption arc. Jay also proves he has a heart and genuinely cares for Spinner.

Least favorites:

(1) Bark at the Moon: I love the idea of focusing an episode on Manny just to see where she is a year after the affair with Craig and her abortion. Unfortunately, this is mainly centered around Manny's relationship with Spinner and how she needs to commit to him in order to fully move forward. The problem is, we've seen so little of Spanny. And during the few times we did, it was never anything good. Their fling basically happened at the expense of Spinner's much more significant, far more likable relationship with Paige. The entire conclusion is them getting together which gives the impression this is going to be the new, iconic relationship. But they literally break up three episodes later. Even that is only briefly touched on compared to Spinner's friendship breakdown with Jimmy, the loss of his entire friend group, and his expulsion. So what was even the point? Oh, and Paige and Mr. O got together in the subplot. Need I say more?

(2) Goin' Down the Road: Kevin Smith. Kevin Smith becoming a self insert and the big hero of the show. Kevin Smith somehow turning Caitlin's attention away from Joey. Jaitlin, a legacy couple since the 80s, were torn apart forever over this bullshit. Jason Mewes is around and perving on the teenage girls. Craig becomes homeless for five minutes. Unlike Voices Carry, Craig's mental spiral in this episode doesn't feel nearly as well done and instead comes across as super rushed. Ashley leaves for London, paving the way for Craig to mostly be reduced to love triangle nonsense during season 5 and beyond. It's easily my least favorite finale.

Season 5:

Favorites:

(1) Venus: This episode is a mixed bag for me. It's a favorite because it's iconic and because the more times I watch it, the more Manny's struggles with body image and desire for independence resonate with me. Even though I hate everything about the lack of punishment for Peter and the victim blaming towards Manny, the parts of this episode that work really work.

(2) Turned Out: Practically every episode of season 5 that I like comes with the caveat that at least half of it doesn't work. Season 5 is a middle of the road season that mostly gets away with it because it's part of the classic TNG era and because the highs elevate it. As much as I sympathize with JT and and find him turning to drug dealing to support Liberty and their baby compelling, the elephant in the room is that there's a lot of emphasis on JT's feelings and none on Liberty's. If I ignore those issues, seeing a normally lighthearted character like JT get such a tragic, dark plot is great. Ryan Cooley isn't normally singled out as being one of the stronger actors, but I honestly think he delivered during this story line. And Jiberty is so tragic, too. Foolin' felt a lot more slanted in JT's favor than Liberty's, but this episode is what shows how much the two love each other in spite of the problems life keeps throwing at them. I can't help but love it. The subplots are trash, though.

(3) Redemption Song: Like I said before, I love Spinner's redemption arc. This is firmly in the middle of it where Spinner is trying to do good while still struggling to leave his past behind. Jay is a mess, but I love his role in this episode and how he wants to help Spinner in his own way even when that inevitably ruins things. Darcy's great, too. You wouldn't expect her to be so easily manipulated, but her throwing herself at Spinner was a strong character moment that was difficult to watch. I like the way Spinner and Darcy come together at the end. Hazel dumped Jimmy's emotional cheater ass and threw paint all over him. He deserved it, honestly.

(4) The Lexicon of Love: This is another very strong A plot with a mediocre subplot. I hate the Snake/Hatzilakos near affair, but thankfully it's overshadowed by the main story line. As much as I don't ship Paige and Alex, the way they came together was beautiful and felt really genuine. Paige's immediate panic and instinct to deny her feelings is realistic. She puts so much stock in her reputation and clearly feels pressured to be the straight kid of her family due to her brother coming out years before. I would have loved to have seen that expanded on, but the writers overlooked it. We see more of Alex's home life and see how in a lot of ways, Paige is Alex's escape and her shining light in an otherwise pretty depressing life. Seeing them explore their feelings and not worry about labels (at least at that moment) and preconceived notions feels really good.

(5) I Against I: This is another strong Spinner plot. It can be kind of tiring to see him be led astray by Linus and go against Marco right after regaining his friendship, but I really like the point made at the end of the episode that Spinner is lost and looking to find acceptance anywhere he can find it. Marco is great in this. Marco the activist is the best Marco. I like that he showed Spinner compassion and was open minded to the new Spinner. Manny is fun. I feel like I'm explaining really badly.

(6) Our Lips Are Sealed: I mean, I love this episode mostly for Emma's eating disorder story line. I have some qualms about the writing and the way it was executed now that I know both Miriam and Cassie were uncomfortable with it due to Miriam's actual experiences with eating disorders - something the writers were aware of. But it doesn't change the fact it was a powerful story line. It's too bad more wasn't done with it. The subplots are fun. Snake and Spike getting back together was very sweet. I've always liked Alex and Hazel attempting to bond for Paige's sake. They had an underrated dynamic I would have liked to have seen more of.

(7) High Fidelity: It's kind of odd that I like this episode so much since a lot of it revolves around a love triangle, but in the end I feel like I view Spinner's plot as him being torn between wanting to go back to the past where he believes things were better (Paige) and looking towards the future where he's become a better person (Darcy). Sadly, Spinner and Jimmy's friendship reunion ends up feeling kind of tacked on because of this. But I still get emotional when it happens. As problematic as things got between them, Spinner and Jimmy have always been my favorite friendship. Everything else that happens in this episode is mostly tying up loose ends.

Least favorites:

(1) Weddings, Parties, Anything: I can't stand the Craig/Manny/Ellie triangle. I don't like the idea of it. I don't like the way it plays out and what it brings out in the characters. I don't like the timeline for it. Unlike how the Craig/Ashley/Manny triangle was carefully set up, it was just like "Craig and Ellie hung out all summer and are now BFFs" and "Craig and Manny reconnect after he protects her from Peter without any acknowledgement of their messy history". It all happens so quickly, making it difficult to care which girl is unlucky enough to get stuck with season 5+ Craig. Also, 30 something Joey and the father of a teenager starts dating a woman not much older than his stepson. I just want Jaitlin back. Fuck this episode.

(2) Together Forever: The fact Toby's (because it's mostly his perspective, not Liberty's because OF COURSE) story line surrounding Liberty giving birth happens in a subplot and is wrapped up much more quickly than the average subplot says it all. The writers didn't value Liberty's character and didn't remotely care about her pregnancy once JT was no longer the central figure. There is no good reason for Liberty giving birth to be such a non event. Worst of all, what should be Liberty's big moment is overshadowed by yet another Craig plot. And not even a good one, at that. Jake Epstein wanted to go to college, so the writers had to give his character an exit midway through the season. The idea of Craig pursuing his music was fine and made sense. But nothing interesting happens. There's never any conflict or chance Craig will choose his college scholarship over his dreams. The undercurrent of Craig/Manny/Ellie and especially romantic Crellie makes me enjoy the plot even less.

(3) Total Eclipse of the Heart: This episode is mostly tainted for me because of the Marco and Dylan story line. I'm one of the rare fans that actually ships them, but what a horrible way to put them back together. Why is Marco being bullied for not wanting to take a chance on his cheating ex of more than a year? The actual sweet reunion scene isn't even earned due to Dylan's bad behavior throughout the whole thing. It's like if Zig and Maya hadn't gotten back together at the end of Next Class and instead were thrown back together two minutes after Zig told Maya it takes two people to fuck up a relationship. No one would be rooting for that and rightfully so. Marco deserved better.

Season 6:

Favorites:

(1) Eyes Without a Face: Mostly, I like this episode for Darcy. These days she's sadly more hated than appreciated, but overall I feel like she was a well written character who wasn't all good or all bad. She felt realistic. One thing I liked about Darcy is that sometimes, she contradicted herself because she was a complex person incapable of staying in a specific box. At this point, Darcy doesn't want to have sex outside of marriage, but she still wants to feel sexy and feels limited by her current relationship with Spinner. While I wish this had led Darcy to literally anyone but Peter, the two of them kind of colliding and becoming attracted to each other made sense. It was at least a more intriguing, believable dynamic than Peter/Emma. Plus, this episode introduces Clare and showcases the hardly ever seen Darcy/Clare sisterly bond. It's too bad we didn't see more of that before Shenae Grimes left the show.

(2) What's It Feel Like to Be a Ghost: I honestly don't know why I like this one. I have a lot of problems with the main plot, namely that Craig carries the entire plot with his drug addiction and yet it's all told from Manny's and Ellie's perspective with him being villainized. But by season 6 standards, it's memorable. I think I'm just glad to finally be done with Cranny and that Crellie is over for a long time after this. The constant back and forth was really annoying. I do like the subplots, though. As hard as it is to see JT move forward with Mia when he and Liberty clearly have unfinished business, these episodes show how far JT has come and make the next episode very painful. Plus, it sets up the Degrassi/Lakehurst feud.

(3) Rock This Town: This episode is the definition of "it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." Or you know, gets murdered. The majority of the episode is very funny with most of the main cast all at the same party and getting to interact. JT and Liberty are finally on the right track and openly communicating without fighting. In spite of the tragic ending, this is easily my favorite Jiberty episode. It's also the only time season 6 Semma halfway works for me. But of course, the real reason this episode is memorable is because of the way it ends. "I'm sorry. Your brother's gone." 😭😭😭 It still hurts.

(4) The Bitterest Pill: I mean, it's the aftermath of JT's murder. Everyone is sad and grieving in complicated ways. There isn't much to say about it. I'm probably most affected by Liberty's and Toby's reactions to it, but even the smaller moments work for me such as Ms. Hatzilakos smiling while watching JT's slideshow. He was a character that had so much history. It's so sad he didn't get the happy ending he deserved. But that's life, I guess. So it makes sense for Degrassi to show that sometimes, life is unfair and tragedies happen.

(5) Free Fallin': This is the sole good college story line on Degrassi and it only lasted for as long as these two episodes. But needless to say, I love that Paige was given the panic attack story line. She'd be the last character you'd expect to struggle with university out of the recent graduates, but it honestly made sense once we saw it. Paige seemed to go to Banting less because it's what suited her and was what she wanted and more because she thought it was something she had to do. Lauren Collins was consistently one of the best actresses on the show, so she crushed all of her scenes as always. And again, I don't ship Palex, but I enjoy the lightness that Alex brings out in Paige. It's understandable why Paige gravitates towards Alex when things start to fall apart.

(6) Don't You Want Me: This is Alex's only major plot and she's one of my favorites, so naturally I overall love this episode. Degrassi very rarely delved into issues pertaining to their poor and lower income characters. It was obvious they were far more comfortable writing for characters from middle class or wealthy backgrounds. While I don't think the sex worker shaming aged well, I still feel for Alex throughout these two episodes. The subplot is pretty irredeemably terrible, but I mostly ignore it.

Least favorites:

(1) Here Comes Your Man: Ugh. This episode, or at least the main plot, feels like poorly written fan fiction. It's not totally out there that Sean and Emma would end up getting back together. Back in Black implied there were still feelings there on Sean's end. But at the same time, the way Sean kind of aggressively pursues Emma and wants only her without any real regard for Ellie, who he lived with, is ridiculous. The execution is awful. Their story line barely resembles early Semma. If you told me this was either someone's spec script or discarded YA book where the bad boy likes to race cars and the good girl has a boyfriend but can't stay away because "chemistry", I would totally believe you. I still can't believe Sean's return was so botched. As soon as he returns to Degrassi, he ends up expelled and sent to jail. Who thought that was a good idea and didn't see the obvious that it would sequester him away from practically everyone except Emma?

(2) True Colours: My problem with this episode is an extension of the one I have with the season premiere. Season 6 Semma is awful. It's a mediocre continuation of what used to be a fairly interesting, believable depiction of first love. Suddenly, Sean's entire purpose in life is Emma Nelson and he can find the strength to keep going as long as he has her. There are embarrassing things like Sean's love of honey vanilla shampoo, which Peter of course hates to prove to us that he's the wrong guy. Yes, this and Peter's actions against Sean are supposed to be the thing to make the audience realize Emma shouldn't be dating the boy who released revenge porn of a drunk and vulnerable Manny. And for some reason, Ellie starts dating Jesse, who exclusively dates barely legal college freshmen who are his subordinates.

(3) Working for the Weekend: I mean, the fact this episode upholds copaganda alone makes it deserving of being a least favorite episode. Spinner is a skilled fighter and was able to defeat the robbers, meaning he should go into law enforcement. Any time Spinner's dream to become a cop comes up, it's generally reduced to participating in police brutality. SMH. Anyways, Spinner and Jimmy open a t-shirt store for five seconds. Why is this deserving of being an A plot? Alex's plot is much better.

(4) Crazy Little Thing Called Love: Yet again, Semma 2.0 is given an A plot. Much like the others, this one is awful. Sean Cameron is one of my favorite characters. I'm even able to understand him and find him sympathetic at his worst, hence why season 3 is one of my favorite seasons for Sean. But in this episode, I kind of hate Sean. I cannot deal with Sean whining about Emma's tarnished goods because she blew Jay. It comes across as much less jealous and hurt over Emma's involvement with his best friend and more the fact Emma dares to be less than pure and good. I'm glad Sean does the bare minimum and seems to want to get to know the new Emma, but it's kind of too little too late for me. Oh, and because I'm still pissed about this years later:

This seems to be the same sexist bullshit Sean was doing during season 6. Fuck that. I'm glad she married Spinner if only because of this episode. Well, almost.

(5) If You Leave: I just don't enjoy watching this episode. I understand that grief can bring out the worst in people and cause them to do misguided things in the name of finding peace or getting justice. But Manny somehow gets shat on in all of this and is forced to easily forgive Emma. I'm just not a fan? Emma comes across more smug than I'd like her to rather than being driven by pain and grief. Marco is embarrassing himself over Dylan. It's season 6, so naturally a lot of what's happening is pretty terrible.

(6) Love My Way: This is another not-so-great college episode. I understand it's a transition episode for Paige and that she's focusing on her love life so she doesn't have to worry about things like her mental health and her academic future, but most of this episode leaves me feeling pretty indifferent. Paige is obviously going to end up back together with Alex, so the detours back to Spinner and to Jesse are kind of pointless.

(7) Sunglasses at Night: Marco gets into gambling and has money troubles for 20 minutes because he's lonely and feels insecure about being the boring, reliable one. Who honestly cares? This is the point in the series where it becomes obvious the writers have no idea how to write college story lines and are struggling HARD. Peter and Darcy sneak around and somehow think they're Romeo and Juliet because Peter is a disgusting pig, resulting in no one liking him including his mom. A lot of people complain about season 7, but thank god for all the new characters and the stronger story lines because this show was treading water for most of this season.

Season 7:

Favorites:

(1) Standing in the Dark: This is the kind of episode that speaks for itself. Darcy's rape story line is somehow darker and more haunting than Paige's. Seeing Darcy get to such lows and watching her spiral as she comes to terms with what happened to her is painful to watch. The Toby subplot is also solid and a strong way to start the season.

(2) Death or Glory: This is the beginning of what's probably Spinner's best story line. I can't quite put it into words, but I liked that the writers chose to give Spinner the cancer arc. Spinner for most of his run was pretty wrapped up in his masculinity and how it defined him, so seeing how struggle with the idea that he's "less of" a man due to losing a testicle was.. interesting? Very sad, but it worked for the character and I feel it gave him more depth and wisdom in the long run. One of the episodes also features Darcy growing closer to Snake after sharing the secret of her rape. Obviously, that story line ends up going in a very messy direction, but the moment where he reaches out to her is touching.

(3) We Got the Beat: I mainly like this episode for the main plot, but I also feel like it's really underrated. I loved seeing Manny much more independent and so willing to stand for herself to her parents. Plus, it's the beginning of Janny which ends up being not only one of my biggest couples on the show but also very entertaining and funny to watch. Jay Hogart was never the same after crossing paths with Manny. The resolution with Manny and her dad finally coming together and starting to forge a better relationship was really nice. One overlooked aspect of Degrassi is the occasions where the parents sometimes grow as much as the kids do, and Mr. Santos is an example of this.

(4) Live to Tell: Darcy is a mess in this episode, but I kind of love it. To be honest, I wish we'd seen a little more of it. That's one of the downsides of the first half of TNG. Whereas the telenovela years had more episodes and more opportunities to sprinkle in continuing plot threads spread out over multiple episodes, in early TNG things could feel a little crowded and somewhat rushed. But anyways, I'll always love that Darcy represents the imperfect victim. Not everyone heals in an outwardly beautiful way where you come away wiser and stronger. Sometimes, you fall apart in a pretty destructive way and can behave in unsympathetic ways. Even after falsely accusing Snake, I never stop viewing Darcy as a realistic character.

(5) Bust a Move: I love watching Manny getting everything she wants and finally ending up with a guy 100% devoted to her and totally on her level. That's reason enough, but mostly this episode is a lot of fun. But I also love Darcy's story line. She finally starts to heal from her rape and find some hope after an undetermined amount of time (because of the confusing timeline) in the darkness.

(6) Another Brick in the Wall: This is a rare time where one of the adults is the focus of the main plot. I feel like the general audience never fully warmed up to the OG characters having story lines in TNG, but Snake is probably an exception this rule considering Snake the teacher and stepdad is as beloved as any of the kids. I don't have much else to say about this, but I guess it's a realistic depiction of the effects of false accusations, as rare as those are. Holly J also finally gets more depth. Toby of all characters is given a rare chance to "win", so to speak.

(7) Ladies' Night: This episode is the one that proved that the season 7 newbies could carry actual story lines and weren't reliant on the longtime characters. While we hadn't seen a lot of focus on Anya and Holly J prior to this, Holly J being the dominant one in the friendship and the heavily influencing Anya had been clear in other plots and smaller moments. So Anya's eventual independence and Holly J's downfall was already fairly well set up. Samantha Munro and Charlotte Arnold were great in the scene where Anya finally confronts Holly J over mistreating her. I hate seeing Jay and Manny break up, but both clearly needed to do more growing (especially Jay) before they could end up together for good.

(8) Everything She Wants: Season 7 Mia is incredibly underrated. I think some questionable decisions were made for her character in season 8 when she was kind of rebranded as the hot model. But back when she was still a struggling single mother who just wanted to have a normal life, all of her plots were pretty great. I hate seeing Lucas let Mia down yet again, but it's painfully realistic. Mia sadly needed to learn the lesson that she can only depend on herself. Also, the brief return of Sean. I don't know what was different about his one episode appearance vs his season 6 run, but Sean felt much more like Sean than he'd been in a long time. I'm very happy the focus was on Sean's mentor bond with Snake rather than his romance with Emma. That relationship had barely gotten any attention during Sean's season of living at the Simpson/Nelson house, so it was nice to be reminded how well those actors worked together. Back in Black will always be the superior ending for Sean and there's a lot questionable about Sean joining the army at all, but I was happy to see Sean moving on to a brighter future that didn't completely revolve around Emma.

Least favorites:

(1) Love Is a Battlefield: I'll never forgive the writers for the way Alex was written off. Palex breaking up is whatever to me, though I seriously feel for their fans because neither character was written well during this episode. It's just bad. Alex was given zero understanding or patience regarding her mother literally betraying her by bailing out her abusive boyfriend instead of keeping them housed. If she needs to take a couple of weeks off and spend some time getting high, let her. Jesus fucking christ. Then of all things, Alex's stripper past gets thrown back in her face after Paige shamed Alex into quitting that job in the first place. She literally can't win during this episode. The subplot is pretty bad as well. Manny is mistaken for racist and somehow that relates to the Degrassi/Lakehurst feud. I don't even know why Manny and Damian got back together for all of two scenes. This episode was a massive disappointment after the season premiere.

(2) Got My Mind Set on You: Mostly, I just struggle to care about anything happening in this episode. It's sort of about racism, sort of about Derek being a bad friend to Danny. There's a minor love triangle thrown in. I don't think any of it comes together very well. Emma has a subplot where she's reacting to Snake's suspension from school and how difficult that is for her specifically. I'm just not interested in Emma's perspective. Another Brick in the Wall was a much better episode.

(3) Talking in Your Sleep: I haven't watched this one in a while so I'm slightly fuzzy on the details. But.. Paige unknowingly has sex with an HIV positive man because he makes the conscious decision NOT to tell her beforehand. Because of this, Paige is unable to give her fully informed consent to sleeping with him. Canonically, Paige's reaction to Griffin's violation is intensely triggered to the point she subtly references being raped by Dean. "I swore I would never be out of control with a guy again." Even though Paige's relationship with Matt was inappropriate and wrong, during their relationship she didn't view herself as a victim and him a predator. This doesn't apply to Spinner or Jesse, so that literally leaves Dean, the guy who took her virginity the night he raped her. Referencing that at all is a fucking choice considering the narrative wants us to side with Griffin and view Paige as ignorant for assuming promiscuity led to him becoming infected with HIV. Anyways, Griffin committed rape by deception, but no big deal or anything. The episode ends with Paige vowing to be a supportive partner to a guy she's been seeing for a day or two and we're supposed to not think anything of what he put her through.

(4) Broken Wings: The main plot just feels so.. soapy. Even for Degrassi. Jimmy can't access his trust fund to pay for his risky stem cell surgery, so he blackmails his dad into giving him the money after catching him having an affair. Jimmy was pretty consistently overlooked and underwritten and it's kind of unbelievable that this is the note they chose to end on minus his season 8 cameo. Also, Studz is formed and I have to listen to Peter sing. Enough said. I will never forgive the bunny masks or the shitty, privileged lyrics about being on house arrest and having a rich parent that doesn't love you.

Season 8:

Favorites:

(1) With or Without You: This episode has grown on me a lot and I'm not fully sure why. I really enjoy the main plot with Sav and Anya. They were never a major couple of mine even during the time I shipped them. I have more issues with them in retrospect, but that's neither here nor there. But I liked the focus and depth their relationship got in this episode. This is when they officially get on the on again/off again "Sav will never stand up for Anya to his parents" ride. It goes from being a cute plot about two teens who seem to be in love for the first time and potentially want to explore that through sex to a story line about sexism and double standards when the Alli/Johnny plot is tied into it. Also, the Emma/Manny subplot has become a random favorite of mine. So many episodes featuring the college kids tended to be either relationship focused or something extreme like Marco nearly prostituting himself for money, but this one was just Emma and Manny having a playful competition over Kelly that isn't being taken that seriously. The chemistry between Miriam and Cassie was always great, so it really worked.

(2) Jane Says: The main plot is very well done. I don't have a lot of thoughts about it, but Jane's slow processing over her past molestation was heartbreaking. I loved Lucas's role in it and how he finally stepped up when Jane needed him.

(3) Heart of Glass: Degrassi had multiple story lines involving consequences to sex and regretted first times, but I don't think any of them felt as personal as Alli's. It's subtle, but there's a lot of emphasis on how Alli is still a little girl in so many ways and wasn't emotionally ready to have sex. She wanted so badly to have the grand romance and to get the validation of just having her older boyfriend acknowledge her in front of his shitty friends. So when she makes the decision to go there with him and none of it turns out like she expected, I just feel sad for her. As much as I ended up hating the Alli/Johnny relationship and don't feel that it aged well at all, the ending with Johnny and Alli coming together and making actual relationship progress felt nice. Granted, that all went out the window in a big way come season 9.

(4) Danger Zone: While I think parts of this episode is kind of shoehorned in such as Holly J's sudden strong crush on Spinner that hadn't even been alluded to before, Holly J taking on a more heroic, compassionate role really worked for me. It felt good to see her undergo so much growth after being mostly unlikable for a good season and a half. Besides, even if it was rushed, the Holly J/Spinner dynamic is still one of the strongest from seasons 8 and 9. Connor schemes to get KC and Clare together, which is very cute. The Dot hostage situation was surprisingly good as far as Degrassi drama goes. It felt believable and not overly dramatized.

(5) Paradise City/Degrassi Goes Hollywood: This is almost a guilty pleasure for me because the premise is kind of ridiculous, but I always have a lot of fun watching it. I just love seeing Manny's dreams come true. I wish there had been actual setup for her relationship with Mick during season 8 rather than it being introduced kind of randomly. But I like the way she was able to pull herself out of that toxic relationship and put her ambitions first. Janny <3 Jay doing everything possible to help Manny make her dreams come true <3 Best non-Zaya endgame by far. I have mixed feelings about Ellie's story line because of the involvement of Craig, but I love that the show revisited the issue of Ellie's dad. More could have come out of that, but I mostly bought that Ellie would self destruct and run to avoid the reality of her dad's condition. Stacey Farber did some of her best acting here. I just wish the resolution hadn't felt so easy? I realize there was only limited time with Stacey due to Ellie departing at the end of the previous season, but it's really like Ellie is strongly implied to be attempting suicide and then a few minutes later she's making out with Craig in an airport. But if I overlook all of my issues with that, I enjoy her story line for what it is.

Least favorites:

(1) Didn't We Almost Have It All: Liberty's story line didn't work for me. I don't have a lot of complex thoughts about it. I think it's another episode that has multiple ideas all awkwardly mixed together. Liberty wants to join a sorority. Liberty faces racism because she's viewed as the potential token black girl. Liberty goes streaking. Liberty ends up with alcohol poisoning. It's a lot for a half hour story line. The message seems to be that Liberty should accept herself as is and be happy with that. Which is fine? It just feels a little late. As always, Liberty deserved better.

(2) Touch of Grey: Degrassi is occasionally accused of being a run of the mill, after school special type of show where the tiniest "bad" thing you do results in maximum consequences. Normally, Degrassi subverts this or at least goes into more depth. But this is a case where the show deserves all the criticism. The writers practically bent over backwards to justify a girl nearly dying because of weed. A diabetic coma that somehow happened because a girl who was already a habitual weed smoker randomly got so high that she forgot to take her insulin? None of that made any sense. Then to pile on even more and make sure none of the main characters get off scot free, Kelly is kicked out of the dorms. I'm only now getting around to mentioning that this was actually an Emma plot, but I don't think it fucking matters. She sort of has an identity crisis where she basically pulls a Marco and no longer wants to be the predictable girl with a boyfriend. Emma doesn't have to face the consequences of something she indirectly caused (no matter how ridiculous it is), making the entire ordeal pretty pointless.

It surprises me that I barely have any least favorite episodes from season 8. This doesn't make it a favorite. It isn't. But for some reason, I don't mind most of the episodes. Many of them are just "fine".

Season 9:

Favorites:

(1) Beat It: There's not a lot to say about this one. I'm a fan of Riley's character, and he takes a big step by the end of the episode when he comes out to Peter. Even though Argiris's acting is pretty terrible, I'm glad a character like Riley existed and that the show covered internalized homophobia with an intensely masculine gay guy. Anya's LARPing subplot is great. Independent, confident Anya was always the best Anya. This is around when Sav and Anya as characters, particularly Anya, start to evolve past Sanya the couple.

(2) Heart Like Mine: To be honest, there aren't that many standout episodes for me from this season, but I think KC's arc was one of the strongest and most emotional. It's unclear exactly what Coach Carson's motivations were and if he was the type of predator who was going to prey on KC himself or not, but I think the mystery of it all and the creep factor mostly worked. Considering KC's lack of male role models and strong adult figures, it's pretty realistic that he could be lured in by someone like his coach. I only wish we'd gotten more of the aftermath. Because in the long run, it somewhat felt like only the Klare/Kenna triangle lingered. I also enjoy the Fiona/Declan story line. I can't stand Declan now, but the only aspect of him I still find interesting is when he's interacting with Fiona. The movie at the end of the season goes into more detail and makes it clear how unhealthy their bond is. But in this episode, Declan wanting Fiona to be happy and kind of compromising to keep her in his orbit is sweet.

(3) In Your Eyes: I tend to like Riley story lines, so this is one of my favorite episodes. Not a lot of action happens other than Riley gradually taking steps out of the closet and becoming more comfortable living as a gay kid. Riley and Zane are adorable. Riley's friendship with Anya is solidified when he comes out to her. This story line just makes me happy. As someone who used to be a big Klare fan, this episode is complicated because KC is all over the place and not all what Clare needs. But I like that Clare ultimately put herself first and was strong enough to turn KC away. I wish so much that older Clare could have been half as strong with Eli.

Least favorites:

(1) Close to Me: The inferior Close to Me. I don't think Jane's affair with Declan was as out of character and as unbelievable as others do, but it was pretty clear it happened to break up Spinner and Jane presumably so he could marry Emma. Weird choice, but whatever. But the story line just isn't that interesting. I end up feeling bad for Spinner more than anything. KC's subplot is pretty good, but it's mainly just set up for his future story line.

(2) Wanna Be Startin' Somethin': The main plot always bugs me. I get that Holly J didn't really have close female friends, but it felt forced the way her loyalty quickly went from Spinner to Jane. I don't at all understand how she was so okay with keeping the Jane/Declan affair a secret. Basically, I don't have fun watching it. And in the subplot, it's just Dave and Bruce throwing piss at each other. I...

(3) Waiting for a Girl Like You: Declan harasses Holly J into dating him all the while he has a girlfriend. It's supposed to be very lighthearted and cute, but I hate Holly J and Declan together and can't find anything redeeming about their relationship after Love Lockdown.

(4) Somebody: This might as well be Waiting for a Girl Like You (2). Declan and Holly J are still the focus of the plot. For whatever reason, we're supposed to be very invested in Canadian Chuck and Blair exactly three minutes after they start dating. The whole plot point where the two aren't supposed to date because their moms are both against it was ridiculous. It's inventing drama that shouldn't be there to make us root for a couple that doesn’t have a lot of substance as it is.

(5) Why Can't This Be Love: Truthfully, I probably have mostly mixed feelings about this episode more than anything. Because compared to a lot of season 9 episodes, this one stands out as one of the better ones. But because of the subject matter and the fact that I'm going to inevitably end up talking about all of Degrassi's inadvertent rape story lines, I don't want to overlook this episode. Anya commits rape by deception when she lies about being on birth control, robbing Sav of the ability to give fully informed consent. It's very clear based on how horrified and uncomfortable Sav appears later in this episode that this knowledge changes everything for him. It destroys the trust he'd previously had in Anya. The first time I watched this episode when I was around 16, I was stuck on the idea that Sav of all people would keep coming back to the fact Anya "lied" to him considering the many lies he's told both her and his parents up to this point. But when you're a teenage boy growing up in a time where no one is talking about what consent looks like beyond very black and white situations, it's understandable that he wouldn't be able to put into words what was done to him and how he feels about that. The one thing I'll give Degrassi is that Anya faces immediate consequences once she confesses to Sav what she did. We the audience are meant to realize that Anya crossed a line and that Sav is in the right for ending the relationship even if Anya is still a sympathetic character. This is questionable honestly, but out of the Paige/Griffin, Sav/Anya, Holly J/Declan and Katie/Drew scenarios this one is sadly.. I hesitate to say the best but at least there's more emphasis on what the rapist did wrong and there's not a clear "actually the victim is the real asshole" or outright lying to the audience and saying what they saw on screen wasn't rape.

(6) Keep on Loving You: This is a filler episode. On most shows, I like filler episodes. But on a show like Degrassi that has a large cast, filler episodes featuring characters who already get a lot of attention are annoying. I didn't even plan for nearly all of my least favorite episodes of this season to involve Declan, Holly J, or Dolly J the couple, but somehow it worked out that way. Declan's moving away and doesn't initially say "I love you" to Holly J. There's no good reason for this to be an A plot, but Dolly J was the main couple that season. It's all mostly there to set up Degrassi Takes Manhattan. The subplot isn't any better. Danny and Chantay were both underwritten, ignored characters due to the fact this show rarely prioritized their black characters. Both of these characters had been around since season 4, but all they could think to have them do in this episode was have some drama over Chantay drinking from Danny's water bottle, thus catching his cold, because he was jealous she had to kiss Peter in a play. This isn't even a good plot by sitcom standards.

Season 10:

Favorites:

(1) What a Girl Wants: This is a strong start to the "new" Degrassi. Fiona's abuse story line maybe could have used another episode or two, but ultimately it was less about that relationship and more Fiona's character and how her past is used against her when she tries to confide in people about Bobby. It's sadly true to life that survivors of any kind of abuse or assault are disbelieved because there's no such thing as a perfect victim. Fiona instantly becomes one of the most complex, interesting characters on the show starting with this episode. The election story line was a lot of fun. The Sav/Anya angle was a lot, but I liked Holly J's involvement and how Sav was able to kind of turn the tables on her.

(2) Better Off Alone: KC's story line with his mom is very underrated. Really, KC in general is pretty underrated and misunderstood. He's a huge mess and has tons of issues relating back to his childhood that he never fully works through. The most interesting thing to me about KC in this episode is how much he wants to stay in the group home. We didn't see much of it, but it can be inferred that KC's time in the group home was the first time he'd found actual stability and a reliable home. So seeing him resist losing that and refusing to give his mom a chance is very sad. It helps that KC's mom, Lisa, is very well written and somehow still lovable and sympathetic even though KC is the character we've known longer and the one whose side we're on. I like that ultimately, it was KC's decision to move back in with his mom. I mostly liked Clare's story line dealing with her parents' marital problems. While I hate that this is the episode the cements Eclare and Eli's place in Clare's life, at this point they're just a normal potential couple starting out. Much like the KC plot, you have a teenager dealing with parental problems way out of their hands. Clare doesn't want to see her parents split up, but she can't stand the waiting and the not knowing for sure. Also, Bhandurner was cute here, even though things didn't end well for them.

(3) I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself: This is just a fun episode. A lot of lighthearted moments happen in it. The stakes are overall pretty low. But I also love that Sav undergoes a lot of character growth and finally starts being able to stand up to his parents. The Sav/Adam/Eli/Bianca group was great and deserved more screen time. Fiona's subplot was also really solid. I don't think there's a single bad Fiona plot in season 10. It keeps her issues lingering while also showing her beginning to grow and find healthier ways to cope.

(4) My Body Is a Cage: This is such a lazy explanation, but it's another episode that speaks for itself. The official reveal that Adam is trans was very well done. I hate that Adam had to be outed and that a hate crime was committed against him, but I guess the writers felt the character needed to be pushed to a certain breaking point. I do think that more could have been done with the aftermath. There was a lot going on with Adam. He obviously had gender dysphoria and a history of self harm. As a cis person, there isn't a lot I know about this. I just feel like maybe Adam needed some sort of counseling after that, but the show wrote it like all of his problems were solved at the end. But really, the fact Degrassi had a trans character at all in 2010 is legendary. I hate that I ended up critiquing this episode so much because truthfully, it's probably top 10 for me. The things that work about this episode are outstanding. I love the way Clare, Drew and Eli all step up and give Adam the support he needs and deserves. Anya's story line with her mom's cancer is kind of an afterthought in comparison, but I think it was also pretty heart wrenching. More should have been done with this arc rather than using it as a jumping off point so Anya could date the 20 something cancer doctor.

(5) Still Fighting It: Ugh, my brain is mush again. This is another strong Riley episode. This is when he officially confronts his internalized homophobia and makes great strides when it comes to accepting himself and getting closer to coming out. Riley and Zane in some ways are at their best here. Degrassi was guilty of giving them what felt like the same plot over and over again, but the chemistry between the actors really sold their relationship. There's a subplot where Wesley and Drew help each other out, which is fun. Wesley's crush on Anya is introduced in this episode, which was very sweet. If they'd gotten together, it would be Anya's healthiest relationship by a mile.

(6) Purple Pills: This was a great Fiona episode. Probably one of my sometimes overlooked favorites. It's just more of her dealing with the aftermath of Bobby's abuse and continuing to self medicate with alcohol. As I said before, seasons 10-14 had more of an opportunity to delve a little deeper into these story lines. It made them feel much more fleshed out and organic. Fiona's drinking probably lasted for several months in universe. Though Fiona still has a long way to go, I like that this episode kind of gives her a win. She's able to get in the state of mind where she's finally prepared to fight back. Riley officially comes out. It's understated, but that works. It didn't need to be a big moment like it was for Marco with his dad or Zoe to the school. Ziley is adorable. Mid season 10 is probably them at their best. I even like Adam's story line. I've never been that invested in his friendship with Eli, but I like that Adam makes the choice to hang out with the absolute wrong group just because he's being petty and bitter. Adam could sometimes be a little too perfect, if that makes sense. Nearly all of Adam's story lines revolved around him being trans and the struggles that came specifically from that, so it was always nice when the show allowed him to be a flawed character in the same way the others are. It made his much more serious, equally important story lines all the more significant.

(7) All Falls Down: This episode had to grow on me because I feel like at first, it was kind of overhyped for an episode where no one died or suffered much long term effects. That's one problem with some of the later seasons' promotion. They'd hype up these big events where lives were on the line, but very little like that happened other than the random one two punch of losing Cam and Adam so closely together. But anyways, I think all of the plots go together really well. Everything plays a role in Snake's eventual breaking point at the end of the episode. I haven't said anything about the Eli/Fitz feud, but it was one of the better ongoing arcs in season 10. I don't like Eli and can't say I like Fitz either these days, but the brain vs brawn aspect worked. At least back then, Eli was allowed to be more morally grey or outright villainous without the show pressuring us to think he was somehow the moral center. The Drew/Alli/Bianca triangle is classic Degrassi messiness. The guy's a fuckboy, and neither girl has a lot of self respect. It happens all the time. Even though this is probably the worst version of Drianca, their chemistry is still electric. I'm not shocked it was later decided to pair them up permanently. Sav and Holly J are great and deserved better.

(8) Don't Let Me Get Me: This is a big game changer episode for Alli. Obviously, this is when her parents finally find out about her "secret life" and it causes a massive fallout. But more than that, it's a significant Alli episode in the sense that she's forced to mature from this point forward. I don't know what the popular opinion is on this because it usually doesn't warrant discussion, but the moment where Alli spreads Bianca's nudes around the school is far and away the worst thing she ever did. It's beyond cold and uncalled for. I definitely don't think what happened after that was karma or that Alli deserved her parents' harsh judgment, but it's the moment where Alli's problems became a little bigger and she was really forced to deal with consequences for the first time. Seeing her so vulnerable was a big change from her usual confident demeanor. Jenna's story line isn't quite on that level, but thankfully the Next Teen Star thing is cut short in favor of Jenna being forced to face reality about her pregnancy and future. I guess in a way, this is the episode where both Alli and Jenna grow up.

(9) Hide and Seek: I mostly like this episode for Alli's story line. It was a satisfying ending after multiple episodes of Alli being in a no-win situation with her parents. It would have been easy for Degrassi to make the Bhandaris shallow characters without interiority, but I like that they had actual vulnerability and complex feelings. From their perspective, they meant well and were only trying to be good parents. When Alli finally comes home, I'm as happy for her and content with the conclusion of the arc as I am for the entire Bhandari family. I know it's bare minimum, but I like that Johnny left on a good note. He's still far from a favorite character, but there was at least a semblance of the kind of character he could have been had the show prioritized his growth and guilt over JT instead of just Jalli and being bully #1. Holly J's plot is pretty good. It works as a lesson for people who rely on self medicating rather than going to a doctor. My main issue is that in the long run, Holly J's kidney story line gets convoluted and soapy.

(10) Chasing Pavements: I LOVE Fiona's plot. It touches on every aspect of her season 10 arc, tying everything into a nice bow. In two episodes, she: wins her trial against Bobby, retains her sobriety, and comes out as a lesbian. It should feel rushed and a little bit clunky, but it really isn't. In my opinion, it's all very well written. The Anya/Owen sexual harassment story line is underrated. I have mixed feelings about Anya as a character now due to her past actions with Sav, but season 10 Anya is a lot more independent and outspoken when it comes to guys. I hate, hate, hate that Degrassi chose to pair Anya with Owen in season 11 because it kind of ruins Anya's strong moment of calling out Owen. The whole point of the story line is that Anya DOESN'T want to date Owen and isn't attracted to him due to his gross personality and sexist, hateful past actions. It taints the ending when you remember she sleeps with him a couple of weeks later. Daniel Kelly being conventionally attractive wasn't worth all that.

(11) Drop the World: As much as I can't stand Eli, his A plots were usually good. Plus, again, season 10 Eli wasn't supposed to be the unquestioned good guy. Even though Eli has sympathetic reasons explaining his downward spiral, he's still Clare's controlling, manipulative boyfriend who literally attempts suicide to get her by his side. It's a mess, but it's an entertaining mess. I rarely praise Munro Chambers' acting because I only ever talk about his character for negative reasons, but he's honestly great and one of the strongest actors ever to appear on the show. The subplots are fun. Who can forget "You told me to play basketball"? Awkward Anya revealing Fiona's crush on Holly J and being the comic relief was great. I just realized I forgot all about the Savvy J breakup. Ugh. So unnecessary, and for off screen Declan.

Least favorite:

(1) Love Lockdown: It's almost hard for me to include this because in retrospect, I think Degrassi got a lot about this right. Most definitely unintentionally, but still. The entire episode has a very ominous tone to it from the start. To begin with, Declan talks about winning back Holly J in a very calculated sort of way where if he just does xyz, she'll fall back into his arms. It doesn't help that he looks at Holly J like this the first time they cross paths again:

Throughout the first part of the episode, Declan does all he can to orchestrate a scenario where he can be alone with Holly J. Finally, he gets his chance when Fiona intentionally gets drunk and insists that Holly J stay at her loft to help out. The minute Holly J lowers her guard, Declan initiates sexual contact even as Holly J expressly says "no" and indicates both in body language and the fact that she never consents to anything. Part 2 picks up immediately afterwards. Holly J is uncomfortable and clearly not happy, but manages to keep it together until she's out of Declan's sight. But, this isn't Holly J's story. Holly J was the victim of coercive rape, but this story is more about Declan and how he and his sister place pressure on Holly J to say Declan did nothing wrong. To be fair, I don't think Fiona means to do this. Fiona is clouded by the idea of Dolly J as a closeted lesbian who views them as the ideal, attainable love she wants for herself. Possibly, Fiona wants to keep Holly J "in the family" as a way of being with Holly J without being with Holly J. When Fiona tells Holly J Declan is transferring back to Degrassi and wants to discuss the previous night, Holly J is withdrawn and almost looks distraught at the thought of her rapist transferring to her school. Whatever thoughts she's having about Declan during this episode, they're nothing good, which she implies to Fiona. All Holly J is able to vocalize is that she didn't want things to go that far and that Declan made her feel pressured. When Fiona attempts to prevent Holly J from walking away by touching her, Holly J pushes her hand away. Fiona gently questions Declan about his actions and whether or not he had Holly J's consent, which ends with Declan questioning if Holly J thinks he raped her. Holly J is next shown at work where she still looks very down and nowhere close to okay. I'm sorry, but this shit is not simply intense guilt over cheating on Sav. Holly J, a proactive, always in control person, is doing her best to go about her day as though nothing happened and that her thoughts aren't consumed with her assault. Yet again, Declan tramples all over Holly J's boundaries when he shows up unwanted AT HER PLACE OF WORK DURING HER SHIFT to guilt trip Holly J about how they were supposedly on the same page the previous night. Declan claims he'll only go away if Holly J reassures him that she wanted to have sex. Holly J yet again reiterates that she didn't want to have sex and that Declan insisted. She expresses confusion as to whether or not she "changed her mind". Declan recalls that she kissed him, but the scene clearly shows Declan forcing Holly J's face to turn towards his. He's the one to kiss her with it being ambiguous whether or not Holly J is kissing back.

Anyways, in the last eight minutes or so, the script almost completely flips as though the writers changed their minds much like they seem to think Holly J did. Now, Holly J wants to talk to Declan and is upset at the thought that he's out of her life forever. Even now, it's all being framed like "you think it was rape" and "he thinks that you think it was rape". It seems like the blame is kind of all put on Holly J? It's like Declan didn't actually do anything, but Holly J is causing all this unnecessary confusion when he's just trying to play Romeo or whatever the fuck. Somehow, this ends with Holly J rushing to see Declan before he can leave town. At this point, Holly J doesn't want to classify what happened as rape. Keep in mind that this is all taking place over the course of not even 48 hours. Holly J and Declan both got accepted into Yale and because of this, it somehow erases Declan's disgusting actions and it's still back to "you think I..." and Holly J having to reassure Declan that she doesn't think he raped her. I understand that situations like these can be complicated and that it takes time to process what it means when someone you trust violates you. But at the same time, this is the end of the story. Degrassi wrote a clear cut rape, called attention to it, and then told their impressionable audience it wasn't so. Every future reference to Holly J/Declan is positive. I'm sorry, I know this was ridiculously long. I just hate everything about the message this episode sends.

[desultory-novice]

What would you think about Elfilin interactions with the animal friends?

Out of the previous characters to think of to be interacting with Elfilin, the animal friends probably make the best fitting candidates for that in my opinion. I mean, Elfilin is an animalistic buddy to Kirby just like they are, and also like them, he never went against Kirby in any way shape or form. I'd think to think they could think of accepting him in their ranks, hehe.

I can even imagine Elfilin with Pitch. Both are small green animals! (well, in Elfilin's case it is technically more teal, but close enough imo and you get the point)

I'm lucky enough to have both the Elfilin plush and the Pitch plush and they happen to go together very nicely on my shelf, so yes, hooray for small green flying animals!

...And very good assessment in general! Not only are all of them very animal-esque, but the Animal Friends just give off such powerful "family" vibes to me!

(Hot Take: Dess sees the "Dream Team" as Kirby's comrades/teammates/friends and chooses to see the Animal Friends as Kirby's main "found family." Why Dededad when you can Hamsterdad?/lh I know it's because Dedede is more popular/has more character development/is handsomer/more interesting. But Rick has fur, which instantly makes him more huggable, imo. /hj)

But I think it's because of that low-key, friendly, familial, light-hearted vibe they all have that Elfy would do great with them. The (implied) older members already seem really great with the (implied) younger members (Chuchu, Pitch, Gooey) so Elfy would definitely have warm wings and paws (and a wet fin) waiting for them whenever they come to visit Dream Land!

Elfy seems very enthusiastic about enjoying just normal, everyday things, probably due to their experience in the lab and living most of their life in hiding, and the Friends are some of the most wholesome residents in Dream Land!

(...I know some of you are going to be tempted to make jokes about things that happen in the Kirby manga here, but we're talking game-verse only, so there!)

[rj-drive-in]

Super-Adventures! Department:

Live in the moment. But what moment will you live in?

THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF IT © 2024 by Rick Hutchins

You have a better chance of being hit by lightning than of winning the lottery.

So he had heard and so it had turned out to be. He pushed himself painfully to his feet and staggered drunkenly, aware of the low, dark thunderheads, still flickering and grumbling above him. Hopefully, he thought ruefully, the old saying about lightning never striking in the same place twice would also prove true.

His head rang between two numb ears, as if he had just come out of a Who concert. The air smelled burnt. He was trembling violently and the hairs all over his body stood on end.

Lightning flashed. Thunder boomed.

Why had he come out here, anyway? On a day like this? In an open field? He couldn’t remember. He tried to think of what he had been doing just before; of where he had come from; of his home; of his job.

Holy shit! he thought with a rising pitch of panic. I don’t know my name!

Did his knees give out? Because it felt like the ground just fell away.

D

“Mister Dominere? Mister Dominere, can you hear me?”

“Yes?”

He turned slowly toward the voice, out of the fog, and saw a young Black man dressed in a crisp white paramedic uniform bending over him.

“Mister Dominere, do you know why we’re here?”

There was somebody else, a young redheaded woman, kneeling by his side, taking his blood pressure. “I guess because I’m a sick old man,” he answered sadly.

“Your Medic Alert implant sent an alarm to Brook Center,” said the paramedic. “We think you had a little TIA.”

“That’s been known to happen.”

“I need to ask you a couple of questions, Mister Dominere,” said the man. “Do you know where you are?”

“Sitting on a chair on my back deck, it would seem. Why am I wet?”

The man and woman exchanged a glance. “We had a brief shower a little earlier,” replied the man. “Can you tell me what day it is?”

Mister Dominere looked into the young man’s eyes; he fancied he could see the heads-up display on his smart contacts.

“Thursday.”

“Do you know who the president is?”

He snorted. “Lefty Louie. Pathetic little twirp.”

The paramedic laughed. “Well, I think you’re all right, Mister Dominere. But we’re going to run you over to Brook for a few more tests. The doctors will probably want to adjust your dosage.”

“Okay.”

“Does anybody live here with you?”

“No,” he said with a sigh. “I’ve been alone since my wife died.”

“I’m sorry, sir. How long has she been gone?”

“A while.” Fuck, thought Mister Dominere. I’m going to cry. I’m going to cry in front of these children.

D

This is how it feels now: Calm stretchy water on the Charles, pink buds on skinny sticks breaking out into Spring, white cloud balloons on blue canvas, small circle table for one in a brick courtyard and buckled jumbled backpacks riding on the college girls. And detachment. All pressure is off because all hope is lost.

Back then it felt like the clock radio going off in the dark before sunrise, playing all those crazy new songs, steamy shower, toast and jelly, the hugging smell of coffee in her car, the comfortable shelter of the office in a swirling puffy blizzard and driving home with easy talk. And being dropped off to sit and dream.

Before that it felt like a hot August playground. Dirt and sweat and popsickles and tag and the girls playing hopscotch.

D

Chunks of concrete from the collapsed ceiling tumbled from The Dominator’s back as he rose shakily to his feet. His bright blue costume was covered with gray dust and ripped to shreds, but his mask was intact, thankfully-- if his identity were exposed, his wife and daughter would be in deadly peril.

As he tried to stop his head from spinning, he surveyed the carnage in the hanger. All the members of Yankee Flight were down and unconscious-- hopefully no more than that-- except for Jungle Girl, who was on her knees and struggling to stand. Of all the Damned Champions, only Bone Biker and Mister Howl still stood, and Mister Howl didn’t look too steady on his paws.

The Dominator took a deep breath to steady himself; he had to get everyone up and organized before….

“Surrender now, you insignificant peasants! Bow down before me!”

Too late.

The Metal Monarch stepped majestically through a gaping hole in the hangar wall, his purple cloak flowing around his gleaming golden armor, black energy crackling about his dreaded Conquest Gauntlets.

Nobody knew why he was attacking now or where he had been all these years-- or even if it was the same man in the armor. But there was no time for questions now. Through sheer force of will, The Dominator put aside his pain and raised himself to his full height. Yankee Flight and the Damned Champions needed time to recover and regroup, and he would buy it for them.

No matter what the cost!

D

The wind off the gray sea sighed, probably because it had its hands full: While pushing the shattered remains of the boardwalk up against the shore in a bunch, it rippled the trenchcoat of the stoic young man who crouched upon a benchmark piece of beached driftwood, bearing witness to the devastation and ruffling the fur of the sad-eyed collie by his side.

“Good girl,” he said quietly.

And she was. Her senses heightened to alertness a full second before he heard the woman’s call for help.

D

Woolgathering or daydreaming, he must have been, but he had lost his train of thought; maybe he had dozed off.

No, it was morning and he was waking slowly from a deep sleep. What had that dream been about? And was it a school day or the weekend?

Make that a work day. He almost laughed. It had been two decades since he had seen the inside of a school room. But was it Kennedy or Houston? Still struggling upward from sleep, he couldn’t make his eyes open or place himself. Which apartment was he in? What time was it?

He squirmed, stiffly, and tried to stretch.

Then his gummy, sticky eyelids pulled apart and he could see.

He could see the robot standing over him.

“He’s awake, Professor Manly.”

D

“Supporters of candidate Angela Dominere and the New Dominion Party may not be celebrating victory this morning, but political analysts are impressed with their better-than-expected showing, especially in the electoral arena. ANN correspondent Nakia Stark is with us to interview party founder Michelango Dominere. Nakia?”

“Thank you, Fronnie. Mister Dominere, thank you for being with us. How do you feel about the results as they seem to be shaping up?”

“Proud, Nakia, very proud. We worked very hard and it paid off. Turnout was high and we did better than even the most optimistic polls indicated. We’ve shown not only that a third party is viable in this country, but that there is widespread support for our philosophy and policies.”

“Have you spoken with your daughter?”

“Of course.”

“And how is she taking it?”

“She would have preferred to be leader of the free world this morning, I’m sure, but she is very grateful for the incredible outpouring of support she received.”

“And ANN will be broadcasting her speech live in about two hours, but can you tell our viewers if she plans to run again in four years?”

“I don’t think that decision has been made, Nakia, but, honest to god, I hope she does. I can think of no better person to lead this country and re-energize our commitment to the values of the Founding Fathers.”

“What do you say to those who believe that you should have been the party’s candidate?”

“I’m flattered, but if I don’t consider myself the right man for the job, I don’t expect the American people to. Making a couple of citizen’s arrests doesn’t mean I’d make a good president.”

“You’re too modest, Mister Dominere, but I’m afraid we’re out of time for now. Thank you for being with us this morning.”

“My pleasure, Nakia. Have a good day.”

“Back to you, Fronnie.”

“Thank you for that great interview, Nakia. We’ll be back after these messages with the latest poll results from Oregon and California, so stay with us. I’m Fronnie Fuller and you’re watching ANN.”

D

“What the fuck did you do that for?!” shouted Mike as Lefty collapsed on the grass in a fetal position, sobbing.

“Jesus, Mike!” hissed Peter, looking across the yard toward the back porch. “Keep it down, willya? My parents are inside! They’ll hear you!”

“Whaddaya mean, what I do that for?” growled McHoul. “You heard what he said about my dad. He deserved to get beat up!”

“Beat up?!” Mike’s face was so red it looked ready to explode. “You spit in his face and kicked him in the balls when he flinched!”

“I beat him fair and square!”

“You cheated, you fucking pussy!”

“Jesus, Mike! My parents!”

McHoul scowled. “I can kick the shit outta you, too, fuckwad!”

“Try it, you little pussy!”

Lefty was up to a sitting position, holding his groin, tears streaming down his face. “Forget it, Mike,” he groaned. “Just forget it.”

“I’m not gonna forget it! I’m gonna wipe up the street with this fucking asshole!”

“Jesus!” pleaded Peter.

McHoul put up his fists. “Come on, you Chess Club prick!”

“Wow, is that a fist, McGirl? Aren’t you gonna kick me or pull my hair?”

McHoul threw a punch. Two seconds later, he was curled up on the ground next to Lefy, his hands covering his face, growling in pain and anger.

Mike towered over him. “Remember that, you fucking bully.”

D

The sound of the driving rain increased as the front door opened, then decreased again as it closed. Soaked to the skin, his black hair hanging in his eyes, he stood there a moment and said, “Whew!”

His wife appeared in the doorway to the dining room. “You’re dripping water all over the carpet.”

“Hi, honey,” he said with a wink, “I’m home.”

She shook her head and rolled her eyes.

Looking upward, he shouted, “Angie!”

With a great thumping of small feet, his little girl came running down the stairs, shouting, “Did you find her, Daddy?! Did you find her?!”

He kneeled down, bringing himself to her eye level, reached under his coat and produced a very soggy and muddy stuffed rabbit.

“Floppy Bunny!” shouted the girl. “You found her!” She seized the bunny and hugged it fiercely in the crook of her neck. “I’m sorry I forgot you at the picnic, Floppy Bunny! I promise I’ll never forget you again!”

He reached out and tousled her soft brown hair. “Floppy Bunny forgives you, sweetheart. Why don’t you take her out to the kitchen and wipe her off, then mommy will help you dry her out with the blow dryer.”

“Okay, Daddy.” She walked off down the hall, still clutching her stuffed animal tightly, then stopped and turned at the kitchen door. “Thank you for saving Floppy Bunny, Daddy,” she said. “You’re my hero.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Go ahead now.”

He stood up as her small form disappeared into the kitchen; his wife sauntered up to him, arms folded, shaking her head, and looked him over.

“You look like shit, Mike.”

“Thanks, Karen,” he grinned.

“What is that smell? Are those burn marks on your coat? What the hell happened to you out there?”

“Nothing much,” he said with a chuckle. Then, laughing, he scooped her up and hugged her just like Angie had hugged Floppy Bunny. “Nothing much at all!”

[pregnant-piggy]

Quidditch Cup

Charlie Weasley x reader

Words: 7.6k 

Warnings: none, it’s a tad long?

A/N: Charlie deserves so much more recognition, he is such an underrated character in the books, films and in fanfiction. I really enjoyed writing for him, since he has so little character in canon there is so much you can do with him

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The whole Weasley household was upside down. The rest of world was still silent and asleep but the Weasleys were awake and running around the house packing the last things they had forgotten. Molly was making sandwiches while checking her children's backpacks. She was looking forward to have a few days to herself. She hadn't had that in a long time. She had planned everything out already; after she sent her oldest three away she would take a bath, she would cook dinner for herself and make something no one else in her family liked.

Arthur was feeling in his pocket every minute, afraid he would forget the tickets he had worked so hard for the past months. He was quite nervous; he never actually did things with the kids without Molly. She was always the one that made sure they were packed and ready to go. Now he wouldn't have Molly with him, but maybe it was better. His wife was stressed out and frankly, so was Arthur. Their children were growing older and had to make important life-decisions. Molly and Arthur tried to help them as good as they could, but their kids had minds of their own.

Ginny and Hermione were already downstairs in the kitchen eating their eggs and sausages while talking about what they were expecting. Both of them had never been to an official Quidditch match, Hermione being a muggleborn and Ginny yet too young. So they were excited. Hermione was mostly looking forward to seeing wizards and witches from other countries. Of course she had read about them, but now she could see them and maybe even meet them. Ginny couldn't wait to see the game. None of her brothers, but Charlie, knew that Ginny was an excellent Quidditch-player. When her four older brothers were at school she and Charlie, who still lived home back then, would take broomsticks and balls to the field behind the Burrow and play Quidditch until they were too tired.

Ginny had always looked up to Charlie. Though she would never admit it to anyone, he was her favourite brother. He was the only one that treated her like an equal instead of a younger sister. Charlie would talk with her about things her other brothers wouldn't because they thought she was too young to understand. He always was there for Ginny, so when he left to Hogwarts and she could only see him in the vacations Ginny was devastated. And then later when he moved to Romania, Ginny could only write to him and she rarely saw him. She missed him, his bright presence in the Burrow.

And for the boys? Percy, Bill and Charlie were still asleep. They would disapparate to the campsite later in the afternoon. Percy in his own room, probably dreaming about his cauldron-report. He was excited about the Quidditch-match, of course, but it was not the main reason he was joining his family there. He also thought it would be a good opportunity for him to meet with foreign wizards and it would show Mr. Crouch that Percy could maintain a professional attitude even when surrounded by... well, idiots.

Bill and Charlie were put together in the twins' room. They had stayed up all night, helping their parents with packing. Mr. Weasley had asked for their help after seeing his wife break down over a white sock in her red laundry. Charlie and Bill immediately made sure there was nothing their mother would have to worry about. They had gone to bed early in the morning after discussing the weird objects in Fred’s and George's room. It had left them both with tears from laughter and they were happy to be home for a while.

The other four boys in the house were getting dressed, too tired to talk. They tried to cover their half-naked bodies from each other but after Ron fell while trying to put on pants and hide behind his bed they gave up. With the sleep still in their eyes they walked down and were greeted by an enthusiastic Ginny and Hermione. Mrs. Weasley gave them breakfast and they gobbled in their eggs, too tired to talk.

After Fred had run up and down the stairs three times to get everything he needed, everyone was ready to set off. Molly kissed all of them goodbye, including Hermione and Harry, which gave the latter a warm feeling in his stomach. In silence they walked off the Weasley's property and started their way up the hills.

Harry was listening to Mr. Weasley who was talking about the measures the Ministry had taken to make sure everything was well organised. They were walking ahead, followed by Fred and George who were softly talking because they were still tired and they didn't want the others to hear. Ron walked behind his brothers. No one dared to talk to him; his grumpy face was more than enough for everyone to just leave him alone. All the way at the back walked Hermione and Ginny. Hermione was telling Ginny what to expect in her third year and Ginny admitted to Hermione that she wanted to try for the Quidditch-team when the season started at Hogwarts.

After walking for a small hour they reached the top of the hill. They were the first ones there. Mr. Weasley sat down on a fallen tree and looked around happily.

‘Who are we waiting for, dad?’ Fred asked.

‘Mr. Diggory and his son, uh... Sander, Rick, Simon?’

‘Cedric?’ Harry helped Mr. Weasley.

‘Yes, that one,’ Arthur said and looked at his watch. ‘And (Y/N). They must be here in a few minutes.’

A grin spread on George's and Fred's faces simultaneously.

‘(Y/N) is coming too?’ Ginny asked.

‘Yes, her parents didn't want to come so your mother was so polite to invite her. She will be staying with us.’

Harry looked at Hermione who was just as confused. He had never heard of a (Y/N).

‘Uhh, who is (Y/N)?’ Hermione asked.

‘Charlie's best friend,’ Ron answered.

‘They went to Hogwarts together. She lives a little down the road from the village,’ Arthur added pointing at the village below them.

‘Charlie totally has the hots for her,’ George said and his siblings laughed.

‘George!’ Mr. Weasley cried out.

‘Come on, dad! It's true! Whenever she is around he is nervous and doesn't know how to act!’

‘One time he climbed a tree and broke his arm when he fell,’ Fred said to Harry with a big smile. Harry chuckled. He didn't know Charlie very well and he couldn't imagine him acting all though around a girl.

But before Harry could even start to imagine, Mr. Weasley jumped up and spread his arms at Amos Diggory who was followed by Cedric.

Amos was just as the Weasleys carrying a big backpack which was filled with a tent and camping gear. His ‘muggle-clothes’ existed of cargo shorts and a polo-shirt that was two sizes too big, tucked into his pants and everything was held together by a belt. Compared to what other wizards wore it looked normal.

‘Arthur! My friend! How are you, my boy?’ Amos said loudly and Fred and Ron, who were still not really awake, covered their ears with their hands.

Mr. Weasley and Mr. Diggory started talking. Cedric awkwardly stood next to his father. Fred and George shot him angry looks; they still weren't over the Quidditch-match they lost last year.

The two girls stood a little further away and giggled. Ginny had told Hermione a gossip about Cedric. She had heard from a fifth-year Ravenclaw that Cedric missed his left nipple. Even though they both didn't believe it, the girls bursted out into giggling after Ginny said it.

‘Are we waiting for someone?’ Amos asked Arthur.

‘Yes, (Y/N) should be here any minute now.’

o-o-o

The alarm hadn't even rung yet before you woke up. You hadn't slept all night; you were too excited. It was your first World Championship Quidditch and you were thankful for the opportunity to go.

Your parents didn't want to go and neither did any of your friends. Because you did not want to go alone you had given up. But last week you had ran into Molly and she had invited you over to the Burrow.

You had not seen the Weasleys in a while. Charlie was away to Romania for his job and you felt it was kind of awkward to meet up with his family without him. Plus, you were busy with your job and trying to find your own place.

Right now, you were still living with your parents. Which was fine, but you really wanted to have your own place. Coming home after a long day and then seeing your father on the couch just didn't make you very happy.

When you sat down with Molly for tea, the subject of Quidditch came around and when you told her that you couldn't go to the match, she told you how Arthur could get tickets for it and after a while she had convinced you to go too.

So that was why you stepped out of your door at 4.30 in the morning, when the sun had not even risen fully and the grass around your house was still wet. The road to the Portkey would only take you thirty  minutes. You know you were a bit late. Your mother had wanted to make sure you had everything you needed and she took way too long for that.

After twenty-five minutes of walking you could hear the voices of your travel companions already above you on the hill. Two minutes later you recognised the red heads that were waiting for you. You walked up to then and were greeted by Arthur.

‘(Y/N)! Good to see you! How have you been?’

‘Good. Hey guys,’ you said to the Weasleys. Fred and George both hugged you at the same time and you laughed while petting them on their heads. ‘You have grown! How old are you now, 13?’ you teased the twins and when they let you go they stuck out there tongues to you.

‘Arthur, the Portkey?’ Mr. Diggory reminded the man who was looking at you with a smile.

‘Oh, yes, yes, the Portkey,’ Arthur mumbled and he looked around. ‘It must be here somewhere.’

Everyone started to look for an object that could be a Portkey. For a few minutes it was silent and Arthur got a bit nervous. The Portkey would leave in two minutes, with or without them. If they missed it there would be a big chance they would not get to see the Quidditch-match at all.

‘Here!’ Amos yelled and as fast as they could, everyone walked over to him.

In his hand Amos was holding a blue rubber boot. Everyone stepped around it and put their finger on the boot.

It was silent. Your heart was beating in your throat. Fred's shoulder was against yours and you looked over the boot at Ron. He was staring at the object with sleepy eyes. It was obvious he was still not fully awake.

A sudden pull and everyone got lifted in the air. The world around started to change. The brown of the trees shifted into green grass. The silence of the hill changed for the chatter of hundreds of wizards. The shadows that were created by the trees disappeared and the rising sun shone watery on the field the Portkey landed on.

Mr. Weasley, Mr. Diggory, Cedric and you managed to keep standing, but the rest fell on the ground. Ron's knees smacked on the ground and he rolled over the ground in pain. Ginny did her best not to laugh and her face turned red.

‘Ah, Weasley,’ a wizard in a purple bathrobe over skinny jeans greeted Arthur after he had said goodbye to the Diggories. The wizard explained where they had to go.

Following the instructions the group walked past hundreds of tents. It was very silent; it was of course only 5.30 in the morning and everyone was still asleep. The only other person they saw was a minister that had a quick conversation with Mr. Weasley.

The tents almost looked like normal tents. Almost. Most people made the mistake of putting chimneys or front doors on their tents. It was easy to recognize the tents from the wizards who rarely were in contact with muggles.

But some wizards didn't even consider muggle-looking tents. There were tents that looked like houses, with multiple floors and windows. They passed a small palace with a real tiger in front of the door. There even was one tent that was made completely of glass. Everyone was able to see the old man that was sleeping in his bed.

After a ten minute walk they reached the open spot for the tents. Mr. Weasley dropped his bag on the ground and looked around proudly.

‘The arena is on the other side of the forest,’ he said and pointed at the woods a little further.

Harry curiously peeked over at the forest but he could see nothing but trees. There was no arena to be seen.

Meanwhile Mr. Weasley, with the help of Fred and George, had unpacked the tents. He was looking at it confused while ticking his wand against his leg. His tongue was between his teeth and he was blowing out air with a high pitched sound.

‘Can't we just use magic?’ Fred asked when his father put away his wand. Mr. Weasley shook his head.

‘No, the Ministry specifically asked not to use magic,’ Arthur said and sat down at his knees. ‘This can't be very hard,’ he guessed.

But he guessed wrong. No one had actually ever put up a tent and everyone had their own ideas on how to do it. After a lot of arguing the two tents finally stood in the right place. One for the boys and one for the girls.

The boys’ tent was bigger, but they had to share it with eight people. It had a living room and kitchen, a bathroom and two bedrooms. Bill and Charlie would take one room, Mr. Weasley and Percy the other. In the living room there were two bunkbeds for Harry, Ron, George and Fred.

The girls' tent was smaller and more cosy. The bedroom, kitchen and living area were all the same room. Only the bathroom was separated.

Though both tents had a fully functional kitchen Arthur insisted that they made a fire and do it the ‘muggle way'. He took some wood from the forest and started on a fire. Ron, Harry and Hermione went to get water.

You sat down next to Ginny in front of the boys' tent. She was looking at all the people that walked by. More and more people were waking up and if it hadn’t been clear yet that the campsite was crowded with wizards, it was now. There were people who magically conjured breakfast buffets so big and extensive no muggle could even dream it. Or wizards would start a fire with a flick of their wand, hoping the ministers that were walking all around the campsite wouldn't notice.

Some people were still just wearing wizard's clothes, but most of them wore what they thought muggles wore. A few people managed to look like actual muggles, but the bigger part was wearing awful combinations, which lead to great laughter from you and Ginny. There was one woman in dungarees with nothing underneath it (Fred and George, who had joined you and Ginny, were suddenly very interested in the grass at their feet). The man from the glass tent wore a quilt and tank top. But the most hilarious one was the old man walking around in a gala dress, completely unaware of the looks other people were giving him.

After you and the Weasleys were done laughing and the other three had come back from getting water it was time for lunch. Molly had given her children sandwiches and Hermione shared hers with you. While eating the bread and waiting for the water to boil Mr. Weasley provided commentary about the ministers that walked past their tent.

The more time passed, the more the tension in the air increased. The match wouldn't start for hours and you got tired. You hadn't slept a lot and decided it would be better to catch some rest. So you retreated back to the girl's tent to lie down.

Harry and Ron went to visit Seamus and Dean, who they had come across when getting water earlier. Arthur joined a colleague on a tour around the campsite, Ginny went looking for a friend and Hermione also thought it would be good to get some rest and joined you in the tent. You talked with her for a while but eventually fell asleep.

It was around this time Percy, Charlie and Bill arrived at the tents. They only saw Fred and George who were discussing something in front of the tent. Mr. Weasley came back only a few minutes later and showed his sons the tent.

Percy immediately went away to search Crouch and Bill and Charlie sat down next to the twins. Bill started a conversation with his father and Fred and George turned to Charlie.

‘Why didn't you tell us (Y/N) was coming?’ George asked.

‘Wait, (Y/N) is here?’ Charlie asked surprised. No one had told him that. ‘You mean on this field?’

Fred chuckled and nugded his twin brother. They were seeing the exact same. As soon as Charlie heard your name he sat up straight and looked around the field.

‘No, like in that tent,’ Fred laughed and gestured at the smaller tent next to them.

Charlie's jaw dropped but he recollected himself quickly. He glanced over his shoulder at the open opening of the tent but from his position he couldn't see anything.

Charlie didn't have to wait long to see you though. The noise that was created by the arrival of the three Weasleys had woken you from your nap. You quickly freshed up and left the tent with Hermione.

You were nervous to see Charlie. You hadn't seen him in a long time, only written. And although Charlie had been home for two weeks you hadn't visited him. When you were invited by Molly he hadn't been home and you had not returned.

So when you stepped out of the tent and were greeted by the sun shining in your eyes, the nerves were rushing through your body. Protecting your eyes from the sun with your hand you looked to your left. Charlie was sitting with his back to you and opposite of were the twins seated. When they saw you a grin appeared on both their faces. Something Charlie also noticed because he turned around to see what they were looking at.

‘Hey, Charls,’ you greeted the man sitting at your feet. For as long as he could remember you had called Charlie Charls. So it was normal for him to hear it, but now, when the name rolled off your tongue, Charlie's stomach turned upside down.

He hadn't seen you in so long he had almost forgotten how beautiful you were. Your cheeks were red from the heat in the tent and your eyes were still half closed, like you had just woken up. Which you had, but Charlie didn't know. But the glinstering in them was still the same as always. And when you smiled at him Charlie turned red, almost as red as his hair.

‘Hello, (Y/N),’ Charlie greeted you back and you sat down next to him.

George laughed at his older brother when he turned even more red because you kissed him on his cheek. Charlie sent him a dirty look and George quickly stopped laughing; he still had to sleep in the same tent as Charlie.

‘You want to take a walk?’ you suggested and Charlie happily accepted your suggestion.

The sun was setting and painted the whole campsite orange. It only was an hour before the Quidditch-finale started and people were sitting in front of their tents, eating dinner.

‘So, how was Romania?’ you asked after a few minutes of silence.

‘Wonderful. It was great to work there. They had huge isolated areas for the dragons there. It was amazing to see how they lived in freedom instead of the prisoned sites they have here...’

Charlie continued to talk about how much fun he had had in Romania and you smiled at his enthusiasm. You had always loved it when Charlie talked about his passion. He would light up and the biggest smile would appear on his face. Even though you always teased him about it you loved it.

‘When are you going back?’ you asked when Charlie was done talking.

‘I'm not.’

‘Not?’ you said surprised. ‘But you just said you loved it there!’

‘I know. Romania is great but I missed my family and friends. And you,’ he added and smiled at you. Your cheeks turned pink and you stared at the ground.

Meanwhile you had arrived at the tents of the Bulgarians. The people were louder here and it was obvious they had been drinking. Men were singing songs in a language you didn't understand and women in the most beautiful dresses were running around with pans and plates.

Halfway through the field a man about Charlie's age walked up to you.

‘Hello, gorgeous,’ he said with a thick accent. The man licked his lips and his eyes travelled up and down your body. You took Charlie's hand and stepped back. The stranger followed you.

‘Hey man, cut it off,’ Charlie said. He kept calm but you noticed how annoyed he was by the man trying to get closer to you.

The drunk man looked from you at Charlie. Apparently he was intimidated by him because after staring at Charlie for a minute he turned around and walked away while muttering something you couldn't understand.

‘Let's go,’ Charlie said to you while looking around suspiciously. ‘The others must be waiting for us.’

You felt like that was not entirely the reason why Charlie wanted to leave but you said nothing. With your hand still in his you walked back to the tents in silence.

Back at the tents Fred and George shot Charlie a look when they saw that he was holding your hand. Charlie suddenly let go of your hand and joined his father and Bill at the fire.

A bit confused why Charlie suddenly let go you sat down and stared at his back. When Charlie had said that he would not go back to Romania because he missed you, a weird, warm feeling had appeared in your stomach. You had brushed it off, but when you were holding Charlie's hand the feeling returned. You were not developing feelings for him, were you?

o-o-o

The sun had set and suddenly lanterns appeared on the route to the arena. The atmosphere was tensed. Everyone got their stuff and after Arthur made sure both tents were closed, they set off.

The route was short. The path was lighted by the lantarns that were dancing through the air. George tripped over a tree root and had to grab Fred's shoulder to not fall, but Fred had just placed his foot on a root too and together they fell on the ground. Ginny laughed so hard she didn't watch where she walked and fell right on top of her brothers.

Bruised and hurt everyone arrived at the arena. A guard lead them to their seats. From there they could see the whole field.

On one side of the field the Ireland supporters sat and everything was green there. People were not only wearing green items, some of them even painted there whole face green.

The other side of the arena was orange. The Bulgarian supporters were, just as the Ireland supporters, wearing anything in the colour of their team. They were singing the same songs the men you came across with Charlie sung.

‘This is amazing!’ you said to Charlie who sat down next to you. He looked suspicious to the Bulgarian site of the arena before turning to you and nodding.

‘I'm glad dad got the tickets. He almost didn't,’ Charlie responded.

‘Not because of me, I hope!’

‘No, not because of you,’ Charlie reassured you laughing. You lost yourself in the easy conversation with Charlie while other people filled the seats behind you.

o-o-o

The game was even better than you had imagined before. The seats were in the perfect place and you could see everything. From the goalposts on the Irish side, to the posts on the Bulgarian side, everything was visible.

As the game grew more aggressive, you became more enthusiastic. But you weren’t the only one. With you next to him Charlie felt excited and happy. The walk with you had given him butterflies in his stomach and that was new. His brothers had always said that he liked you but he had always ignored it, thinking that you were just his best friend, nothing more.

‘That’s not fair!’ Ron yelled and Charlie was pulled from his daze. The referee had given Bulgaria a penalty because one of their players had almost fallen off his broom while he tried to avoid getting hit by a Bludger.

Ron and Harry were both standing on their seats and even Mr. Weasley had gotten up to cheer for the Irish players. Hermione was still sitting in her chair but there was a red blush on her face. Ginny was seated on the left, in the chair in front of Charlie and she was staring at the field like she could influence the game with her gaze. Bill and you were both standing and jumping while singing the Irish anthem. Charlie was standing just as the rest of his family, filled with adrenalin. The only one that was sitting decently was Percy. But even his cheeks were more red than usual and it cost him great effort not to act like his family.

‘The snitch! They’re going for the snitch!’ Harry yelled and everyone in the room kept silent. The gasps from the supporters were like one big gasp.

The two seekers were shoulder to shoulder. One final sprint and one of them would catch the snitch.

The whole arena gasped as they watched the two seekers, though it was already clear who had won. Ireland had so much points that even if Bulgaria would catch the snitch, they would win. Nevertheless, the match was still exciting.

The silence went on as the two seekers fought for the victory. It was Krum who caught the snitch. So fast that is was almost invisible, but the shining golden ball in his hand couldn't be missed.

The supporters were silent. Who won? It was Ron who broke the silence in the Top-box.

‘Ireland won! THEY WON!’

And he was not the only one who had realised that. The Ireland supporters hesitantly started to cheer until every one of them knew what had happened. The overwhelming sound they made must have been heard miles and miles away.

Ron and Harry were jumping around, screaming and yelling; Mr Weasley had lost control of himself and was dancing with Hermione; Ginny had tears on her cheeks and her smile had never been brighter; even Percy was cheering. You jumped up from your seat and threw your arms around Bill. Charlie watched you and felt the euphoria fade. Seeing you in someone else's arms made him feel... sad?

But now was not the time to be sad, he told himself. Ireland had won, he had had an amazing day and this game would stay with him forever. Yet there was something itching inside Charlie. A feeling that didn't disappear until you turned to him and kissed him on his cheek.

‘They won!’ you exclaimed with a big smile on your face.

Your arm was still around Charlie and he turned red. But you were so focused on the victory you didn't notice.

o-o-o

The euphoric feeling stayed all night. The walk back to the tents felt shorter than it had felt on the way to the arena. Laughing and talking from the supporters that were staying the night at the campsite filled the air and the ambiance was cosy.

Mr Weasley gave everyone a cup of hot cocoa while they talked about the match in the boys’ tent. Every one was tired but no one wanted to go to sleep. You, Ginny and Hermione gossiped about the Quidditch-players while Ron, Harry, George and Fred discussed the techniques. Mr Weasley was talking with his other three sons.

You kept stealing glances at Charlie, hoping on one hand he would look back and catch your stare, but also not. There might be a small chance that you actually had developed feelings for your best friend over the time, but it didn’t matter. Because Charlie would never return those feelings. He thought of you only as a best friend, nothing more.

But that was not true. Because Charlie did in fact like you. More than he would ever admit to someone. And when you weren’t looking his eyes kept turning to you. There was something about the way your head moved back when you laughed and the dimples that formed on your face that made Charlie’s inside turn upside down. The way your lips parted as you let out a laugh gave Charlie butterflies. Blushing he looked at his empty mug. He had never felt like this before and he wasn’t exactly sure on how to act. Did you like him back?

It wasn’t until Ginny promptly fell asleep at the table, Mr Weasley sent everyone to bed. Hermione and you carried Ginny to her bed after saying goodnight to the boys. You kissed Charlie on his cheek and the pink on his cheeks made you smile as you took Ginny’s legs. Hermione lifted her under her arms and Ginny’s head tilted to one side, almost hitting the iron pole next to the entrance of the tent.

After Ginny was put in her bed, you and Hermione changed and lied in bed too. You talked for a while about the match and how her vacation had been, but it was late and you both almost immediately fell asleep.

In the boys’ tent however, the ambiance was different. George and Fred were laughing at Charlie who had placed his hand on the place your soft lips had touched his skin and was still standing in the very same spot. When he recollected himself he pointed his wand at Fred and shrunk his pyjama pants. Fred let out a loud groan as George erupted in laughing. But George wasn’t spared; Charlie pointed his wand at him too and his pants grew three sizes too big, causing them to fall of his hips and leaving him in his underwear. Now it was Fred’s turn to laugh.

Mr Weasley entered the living room from his bedroom and scolded at Charlie for hexing his brothers, but even he couldn’t suppress a smile. Charlie disappeared into his shared bedroom as Mr Weasley fixed his sons’ pants. Bill was looking at Charlie with a grin as this one was changing.

‘What?’ Charlie asked when he noticed his brother’s looks.

‘Oh, please,’ Bill snorted. ‘Have you finally realised you are madly in love with her?’

‘I’m not madly in love with her!’ Charlie scoffed.

‘So you are in love with her?’

‘I dunno, maybe,’ Charlie muttered as he lied down in bed and pulled up the sheets to his chin. Bill dropped the subject and the room filled with silence. The sounds of Fred and George whispering in the living room came through the door and were interrupted by Ron asking them to ‘shut up’.

o-o-o

It didn’t seem like you slept long before waking up again. At most two hours. But someone was outside the tent, making more sounds then necessary for such an early hour. Ginny and Hermione also woke up and you got out of bed and stumbled to the entrance. After opening it your gaze fell on a terrible situation. A group of people with dark cloaks and masks was walking across the campsite, screaming curses and setting tents on fire. People all around were screaming and running away.

You stared at the view three seconds before quickly turning to the girls and ordering them to put something warm on. ‘Stay here, I’ll be back,’ you said and while pulling your sweater on you hurried to the boys’ tent. ‘Guys! GUYS! Wake up!’

You opened their tent and with your wand filled the room with light. Fred groaned at the sudden light but you ignored him. Mr Weasley came rushing out of his bedroom, pants put on over his pyjamas and wand ready. Percy followed him and the door of the other bedroom opened to reveal Charlie and Bill.

‘Outside,’ you said and ran back to the girls’ tent. Ginny and Hermione, who had looked outside, were looking at you with terrified looks on their faces. ‘Come on,’ you said and lead the girls outside, while looking over your shoulder to check if there were people around. But the people with the masks were far away.

The boys had collected outside the tent. ‘Bill, Charlie, Percy and I will help the ministry,’ Mr Weasley explained as he rolled up his sleeves. ‘Go to the forest. And stay together!’ He ran away followed closely by Percy.

Fred took Ginny’s hand and pulled her with him. George, Ron, Harry and Hermione followed them. You turned around to Charlie, he was watching you and you could see the fear on his face, although he tried to hide it.

Then you did something without thinking. Your brain was still looking around the campsite taking in the damage that had been done, but your body stepped closer to Charlie and kissed him on his lips. Quick, soft and caring. You pulled away before Charlie could even act about it and ran after the others.

Charlie was left with burning lips. He looked at you as you ran away, joining his younger siblings. At that moment, Charlie would have traded the whole world to kiss you longer. To feel your lips on his, to run his hands over your body, to look you in your eyes and tell you how he felt for you. But as you escaped his view the screams of the people around him re-entered Charlie’s mind and he was pulled out of his daze. People were in danger, that was more important than kissing you right now, though every part of Charlie’s body thought different.

He turned around quickly and ignored Bill’s surprised grin. ‘Not now,’ he said and ran after his father.

o-o-o

What did you just do? It was as if your mind only now realised what you had done. You kissed him! You actually kissed him! And Merlin, was it great! Even now as you were walking through the dark, you could still feel his lips.

You, Fred, George and Ginny reached an open spot and sat down on a fallen tree. You made a fire with your wand. Soon you were joined by other wizards that didn’t speak the same language.

‘You kissed him?’ Ginny asked like she didn’t believe it. You could still see the shock and fear on her face that was lit up by the fire. You nodded slowly as your gaze turned to the fire.

‘I kissed him,’ you repeated.

‘Man, that took you guys forever!’ Fred sighed and you raised your eyebrow at him.

‘What do you mean?’

‘He has had it for you for years!’

A stupid smile grew on your face. Charlie actually liked you back? And he had for years?

‘But why did he never tell me?’

‘Because he is an idiot,’ George said. ‘I thought you knew that?’

‘I never noticed,’ you said and tried to think of times Charlie had showed more affection to you than a normal friend would.

‘You never noticed?’ Ginny asked surprised. ‘Don’t you remember when he ran to your house the minute he heard you had broken your arm?’

‘Or how he always wants to sit next to you whenever you are over?’ Fred added.

‘And what about your sixteenth birthday?’

You thought back of that birthday. He had bought you a million flowers and had prepared a whole day with a picnic and a dinner under the stars.

‘Get out,’ you mumbled when you  realised how long ago that was. ‘He had a crush on me back then?’

‘Oh definitely, but he never dared to admit it,’ George answered.

‘Please tell him you like him,’ Fred whined. ‘I can’t stand to hear more about your hair and your teeth and the way you smile.’

You blushed and stared into the fire. Your whole body filled with butterflies and for a minute you had forgotten about the riot. And so did your companions. Until the whole forest lit up by a green flash and you jumped wand ready to defend yourself and your friends. But your eyes quickly found the reason behind the flash.

The green skull floating in the air gave you chills. A shiver ran down your spine as its mouth opened and a green snake escaped. The three others behind you looked up at the sky with confused faces. You took them by their shoulders and pushed them back to the camp site, wand still ready to cast a spell any moment.

At the edge of the forest you saw three familiar red heads. But there was no sight of Hermione, Harry, Ron or Mr Weasley. You ran towards the three oldest Weasley siblings.

‘What happened?’ you asked worried.

‘Death eaters, gone as soon as the mark appeared,’ Bill filled you in. You cursed and stared at the skull in the sky.

‘No one hurt?’ you asked, not really sure if you wanted the answer. But luckily Bill shook his head.

‘They were levitating muggles, but they’re not hurt.’

‘Where are Ron, Hermione and Harry?’ Charlie asked as he looked around and saw that they were missing.

‘We lost them in the forest,’ Ginny answered, her eyes filled with tears. ‘Where’s dad?’

‘He went to the place the mark appeared. Don’t worry he will be safe,’ Bill added when he saw her fear.

Your hand was still on Ginny’s shoulder as you stared at the path in the forest. A silence fell over the group but the sounds of the crying people around were filling your head. You wished there was a way to help them.

No longer than three minutes after, the first journalist apparated on the grass in front of the forest. The workers of the ministry, that had stayed back, tried to appease the crowd. Photographers pointed their camera’s up in the air and took pictures of the skull, that now more looked like an oddly shaped cloud. Bill and Charlie noticed the photographers also taking photos of them and suggested going back to the tents. You took Ginny by her hand and walked past the photographers ignoring their yells.

The tents had not been damaged apart from the few tent pegs that had come out of the ground. Bill put them back with his shoe while the others entered the tent. You sat down and took Ginny in your arms. She was looking pale and her eyes were red. While she softly sobbed in your shoulder you dared to look at Charlie. He was seated on the other side of the tent with Percy, looking at the entrance as if that would make the others come back sooner. Fred and George sat down in the chairs next to you, but said nothing. Though they were not as pale as Ginny was, you could easily see the shock on their faces.

‘(Y/N)?’ Fred asked and you looked up. From the corner of your eyes you saw Charlie’s head turned to the corner you were in when your name was called.

‘Hmm?’

‘What was that thing in the sky?’

You looked at Fred, unsure of what to answer. Turning to Charlie for help, you thought of the horror of having to remember the mark when you were a kid. Your parents had wanted you to remember what it looked like so that if you ever saw it you wouldn’t go inside the house. As a kid you were unaware of the terror the mark had brought so many people, but you, just as any other kid that was around your age, did remember your parents showing you a picture and telling you how you should never, but absolutely never enter a house when that skull was above it.

‘I’m not sure if I am the one to tell you that…’ you answered honestly. ‘I think your father will explain it when he returns.’

And as if your words did the trick, Mr Weasley entered the tent at the exact same moment. Ron, Harry and Hermione were following him and Bill closed the line. They sat down at your corner and the exhaustion almost made you feel just as tired.

‘What happened, Dad?’ Bill asked while Percy and Charlie also sat down.

‘False alarm,’ Mr Weasley answered and four collective sighs filled the tent.

‘But what happened? Why did those people disappear when they saw that skull?’ Fred asked again. Ginny lifted her head from your shoulder and you caressed her hair. From across you you saw Charlie smiling at you and you started to blush.

‘That skull is better known as the Dark Mark,’ Mr Weasley explained. ‘Back when You-Know-Who was gaining more and more power, everyday people disappeared never to return. If that mark was floating above your house it meant that no one in there was still alive. It was the horror of every person to come home and see that mark…’

‘But who were those people?’ Ron asked.

‘They were Death eaters,’ Bill said. ‘Followers of You-Know-Who. They did everything he asked them because they were promised a world with only pure-blood wizard at the top.’

‘After You-Know-Who disappeared they went away with him. I guess they had a little too much to drink tonight,’ Mr Weasley said.

A silence fell over the tent and Ginny buried her face in your shoulder again. By her steady breathing you noticed she had fallen asleep. Ron and Harry also went to their beds, Fred and George took the beds in Bill and Charlie’s room and Hermione stationed on the sofa in the living room. Though her eyes were closed you saw that she was not asleep. But you didn’t blame her; you couldn’t sleep either. Mr Weasley had gone outside to talk with his colleagues and Percy had gone with him. Charlie gave you a cup of tea and Bill went into the empty bedroom.

As you drank your tea, careful not to wake up Ginny, who was still sleeping against you, you looked up at Charlie. His cheeks were red and he avoided your eyes. You decided to throw everything out.

‘Fred told me you like me,’ you blurted out. If you had thought Charlie couldn’t get any redder, you were wrong. His face turned into a tomato and he finally looked up to you. You had a small smile on your lips.

‘I- uhh… I think I do,’ Charlie mumbled, confronted by your abruptness.

‘You think?’

‘I mean, I do. I really like you, (Y/N). I just never realised it. But when I was in Romania… Although I enjoyed everything I did there, I kept thinking of you and how alone you were. Merlin, I wished so many times I could just return home and- and take you in my arms. But I never knew if you felt the same.’

‘You do now, right?’

Charlie looked up to you. You were looking at him patiently. Your voice was genuine and soft and Charlie had never felt so much love for you. He got up and sat down next to you on the couch. You turned your head to him and he was so close to you he could have easily kissed you.

‘Because I do, Charls. I really like you too.’

And you closed the gap between the two of you. Charlie felt his head explode at the kiss. He suddenly realised how long he had wanted this. How long he had missed this in his life. The way you touched him made him dizzy and light-headed. His thumb stroke your jaw as he pulled you in closer.

When you broke apart and looked over Charlie’s shoulder, you saw Hermione grinning at you. Charlie smiled at you and the top of his nose was pink.

‘Did they kiss?’ Fred asked through the closed bedroom door.

‘Yes,’ Ginny answered from beside you. You hadn’t even realised she had woken up.

‘Finally!’ George exclaimed and Charlie rolled his eyes.

‘Watch out or your pants will be so small things will get numb!’ Charlie threated but he was smiling. He turned back to you and kissed you again.

‘I can get used to this,’ you mumbled against his lips and he chuckled.

‘No problem for me.’

-------

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MASTERLIST

[neil-neil-orange-peel]

Richie (Bottom) and Richie Rich (FR&C)

Hello! It's Richie time!

Richie Richard

Sexuality headcanon ~ I think Richie is the most explicitly queer of Rik's main characters. I see him as bisexual, although I don't know if he'd necessarily say so at the beginning of Bottom - if he knew what bisexuality was, that is. He seems to get gayer, for want of a better term, as the series and live shows go on. Whether this is him becoming more comfortable with parts of himself that he'd previously repressed or whether he's discovered new things about himself as time has passed is debatable, although I think I er towards the second explanation. Sexuality is fluid, after all.

OTP ~ Eddie, of course! They'll always be stuck together. 😂 They give off bickering married couple vibes. Plus, Richie has canonically had wet dreams about Eddie and is often referred to as Eddie's wife soooo...

BrOTP ~ Well, Richie doesn't really have any friends, does he? Rip. Richie and his left hand (his wanking hand) can be the BrOTP. 😂

NOTP ~ I can't really see anyone but Eddie putting up with Richie, to be honest. I guess Richie X Spudgun or Richie X Dave Hedgehog would seem a bit odd to me, since I'm not sure how you'd make that work... What with them being scared shitless of him and all.

First headcanon that pops into my head ~ He's Rick's embarrassing uncle, 100%. I just really like crossovers and trying to slot the various Riks and Ades together! I know there's also the headcanon where Rick and Vyvyan literally become Richie and Eddie, what with Bottom being the sort of shadow sequel to The Young Ones, but I think it's more interesting and less depressing if they're separate people. Richie being Rick's maternal or paternal uncle I'm less solid on, though I suppose with the different surnames and Richie canonically having a sister it makes more sense for him to be a maternal uncle.

Favourite line from this character ~ Tricky! In truth I could never pick a single favourite line from most characters buuut for the sake of the question I think I'll go with: "Don't you DARE call me overweight, young man!" The timing of the ferris wheel seat breaking is just priceless! 😂

One way in which I relate to this character ~ Hmm... I suppose Richie - and Eddie too - stand as sort of warnings about what it's possible to become if you just don't... Try. At anything. I'm not saying that's the point of their characters as first and foremost they exist to amuse and encapsulate the most exaggerated and perverted interpretation of low lives. But with Richie in particular there is a great sense of how shitty his circumstances are - probably because he doesn't fully accept their position at the bottom, unlike Eddie Richie still has delusions of grandeur and somehow being better than his contemporaries. Richie is so bored and lonely and, frankly, miserable. So much so that it's arguably led him to lose part of his sanity. And yet why is this? Why doesn't he ever work properly on bettering himself? Why does he seemingly never leave their flat most days? And hardly ever leave Hammersmith, even seeing this as a point of pride? Why has he ended up with Eddie, after apparently coming from a better off family? Because it's hard to fight back in life, especially with how long he's been stuck in the pattern of simply existing. Sure, life isn't simple or easy and I'm sure he would have had personal obstacles along the way... But Richie never sought to tackle them. He just let everything happen to him until he was stuck in this dirty, lonely existence. It's like he removed himself from life and society and just let himself fall, unintentionally though it must have been. And that makes him quite a tragic character, really. Laziness - and probably fear too, which is sad - have prevented him from ever trying for a slice of the good life he so clearly fantasises about, at least in any meaningful way.

So, anyway, the point of this waffle: I don't want that for myself. The monotony of lockdown during the pandemic has shown me how easy it is to fall into that, but I don't want it to be my long-term future. It's probably a slightly silly worry on my part, as I don't think I'd become exactly like Richie 😂... I can just see how scarily easy it is to slip into a life mirroring his in someway, because lots of people are in his situation. I'd just like to hope I'll have enough umph about me to make sure I don't let that happen to me if I can avoid it. Basically, I get why Richie is the way he is; there's a whole mix of possible factors I've not even mentioned, as they're not relevant. I also get how inclined I too am to living the "hermit life" when I can... So I want to push against that.

Thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character ~ Richie is so very bad at interacting with anyone who isn't Eddie. To be fair, he and Eddie hardly interact in usual ways either. It's Richie's overinflated sense of self importance that comes out around Spudgun and Dave Hedgehog or at his birthday party that really makes you wanna face palm. He really just can't help himself!

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? ~ It's going to have to be problematic fave, isn't it? It would be for most of the bastards I love. 😂

Richie Rich

Sexuality headcanon ~ I've not really thought as much about Rich - as the Discord server has affectionately taken to calling him ❤️ - as other characters, perhaps. I think he assumes himself to be straight and has probably never questioned otherwise. After all, being a right wing has-been comedian and wannabe gameshow host, he's not exactly the most enlightened person on the planet. 😂 I'm not gonna say he isn't attracted to women... However, I do think there's something not strictly heterosexual about him.

OTP ~ That something is Edward Catflap, who I'm easily pairing Richie with since everyone else hates him and the two are a duo whichever way you look at it. I mean, the first episode opens with them sharing a bed and they spend almost all of their time in each others' company. Even though they find the other unfashionable and annoying, it still doesn't ever seen to occur to either of them that they could just... Part ways. Richie never looks for another minder and Eddie never looks for another job. Now, laziness likely has something to do with this (and the fact that no one else can stand Richie) but it is interesting, is it not? I don't know, if not anything approaching boyfriends, at least queerplatonic partners? Even if they don't have the language or depth of thought to think of it in that way.

BrOTP ~ In Richie's mind, this is Tarby and his other great showbiz mates. Back in the real world, Richie doesn't seem to have any friends. I'd argue Eddie too fills this spot, simply because they do friend-like things together sometimes (lager frenzy, anyone?) and, as I attempted to articulate in the previous answer, I don't think shipping them is entirely straightforward.

NOTP ~ Richie and Ralph, to be honest. Don't get me wrong, I love Ralph Filthy. He's hilarious and he has some of the best lines. One of the most morally bankrupt characters of the set, being topped only by the likes of Alan B'Stard, how could we not love him? However, should anyone date this man? I'd recommend against it. Especially someone like Richie, who is already involved with him in a professional sense and has been shown to be easy for Ralph to take advantage of. If someone wants to ship Richie and Ralph, that's completely fine! No one needs the permission of anyone else to ship! In fact, as I believe I mentioned some time ago in regards to CoolPoet (Mike X Rick), a dark fic with this ship could be interesting and I'd read it because, damn, there's hardly any FR&C fic as it is! I just wouldn't count myself as a shipper of Richie X Ralph, that's all.

First headcanon that pops into my head ~ Huh... Do I have any headcanons about Richie Rich? Apart from that he too is in someway related to Rick as well - perhaps as a cousin of some sort - I'm not sure. I know some people headcanon him as trans because of the letter from his mother where she reveals his "real name" is Gertrude. As for a headcanon from me... Sorry, I'm drawing a blank on this for the moment. Like I said, I probably don't think about him as much as I do some of the other characters.

Favourite line from this character ~ Changes but for the moment: "Look, I've had just about enough left wing soapbox rhetoric for one week! If you don't like the police, the next time you get beaten up try calling an alternative comedian!"

One way in which I relate to this character ~ Hmm... I've had to think about this. I guess I relate to his desire to be artistic and creative.

Thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character ~ Without a doubt, his hair. I'm sorry, it's just so awful from the back!

Cinnamon roll or problematic fave? ~ I'd say problematic fave. 😂

Thanks for the ask!

[rawiswhore]

Triple H, the Renegade x Fem Reader- "Suicide Solution"

During the 1990's, there was a professional wrestler named the Renegade, an Ultimate Warrior knockoff who wrestled in a company known as WCW, which, for a while, had higher ratings than the WWF (which was once the most popular wrestling company in the world, and still is today, although now is known as the WWE).

The Renegade was such an Ultimate Warrior knockoff, some wrestling fans thought he was the Ultimate Warrior.

How stupid do you have to be to think they're the same person?

Although, it wasn't the Renegade's fault he had Ultimate Warrior rip-off gimmick, WCW wanted to create the next UW, so they did that to the Renegade.

Didn't they already have Sting, whose character then had Ultimate Warrior-esque facepaint yet his character was a surfer?

The world has one Ultimate Warrior, it doesn't need another!

The Renegade ditched the crunchy looking mullet, face paint and singlet by 1996, and he looked so much more handsome and sexy when he got rid of those things.

However, unlike Sting, NWO and Goldberg over in WCW or even Bret Hart, the Undertaker, Mick Foley, Shawn Michaels and Stone Cold over in the WWF, the Renegade barely went anywhere.

He wasn't obscure like Scott Putski, but most wrestling fans don't consider the Renegade to be a great wrestler.

By the time the 1990's was almost over, WCW fired the Renegade, which made him spiral into a depression, and he couldn't find work anywhere else.

He was probably too campy and childish for the WWF that was now going through its Attitude era and especially for ECW, a wrestling company known for being serious, edgy, gritty and violent.

What did the Renegade end up doing?

Committing suicide.

He could've worked as a male model in music videos or on the covers of those corny paperback romance novels, or even worked as a porn star or male stripper (which was his previous job before becoming a wrestler!), he probably would've been better off doing those things instead of wrestling, considering he wasn't that great of a wrestler.

You had a crush on the Renegade when he stopped wearing facepaint and singlets, you even wish you could've been a ringrat during the late 90's instead of Hunter Hearst Helmsley's valet, because you were under the WWF's contract and not allowed to cross over to other wrestling companies.

If you were a ringrat, you would fuck any wrestler you fancied in the WWF, WCW and ECW.

In the summer of 1997, when the roster of the WWF and WCW exercised in the same gym together, you invited not only the sexiest men in the WWF to fuck you in the locker room, but also who you thought were the hottest men in WCW as well, and one of those men was the Renegade.

You've masturbated a few times to the Renegade on television as well as fantasized of him while you masturbated, fantasizing of him wrapping his huge muscular arms around you and your hands squeezing on his huge biceps, running your fingers through his long hair and caressing his bare torso and arms in baby oil.

You even sent him a few letters and emails gushing over how hot he is and how you wish you could be with him.

Shortly after the Renegade's suicide, Triple H had broke to you the terrible news.

He as well as other professional wrestlers remembered that day when you got gangbanged by some of the WWF and WCW roster in a Gold's Gym locker room, Trips was even one of the men who fucked you in that locker room, of course, and so was the Renegade.

He and other pro wrestlers in the WWF knew about your crush on the Renegade.

When you heard the news of the Renegade killing himself, your jaw dropped open and your eyes grew wide, tears began to dwell in your eyes and stream down your face.

It felt like the wind had been punched right out of you and your heart was ripped out of your chest.

You shut your eyes and buried your face into Triple H's chest, where you sobbed into his chest while he wrapped his arms around you, your tears stained into his T-shirt.

Triple H explained that the Renegade had suffered from depression after being released from WCW and not finding work anywhere else.

The Renegade didn't have to kill himself, even if he was depressed.

You wish you could've comforted the Renegade's broken heart, but sadly, you can't since you're under the WWF's contract.

Besides, telling someone to cheer up when they have depression is like saying the cure to asthma is to breathe or telling a homeless person to buy a house.

You didn't even know about the Renegade and his depression, but that's the thing with depression; people hide it, just look at Robin Williams.

You're someone who was like that as well, happy and smiling on "Monday Night Raw" and backstage, but dying on the inside occasionally.

Triple H's arms were stroking up and down your chest, not in a sexual way, but trying to comfort you.

He didn't just embrace you, but kissed the top of your head, some of his fingers stroked your hair, but again, not sexually.

You sobbed hysterically, collapsing to the floor and your face in the palms of your hands crying, where Triple H tried to console you and comfort you, picking you up and telling you not to cry so hard.

You nearly hyperventilated, but hopefully you won't have to go to a mental hospital.

You cried that entire day, even though you tried not to do it since you shouldn't cry in public, and many other wrestlers in the WWF comforted you by hugging you, you cried whilst your face was buried in their chests.

You had felt sleepy and tired from crying that day, but you didn't fall asleep until nighttime.

Sometimes, because you cried that day, you also felt angry and wanted to lash out, but you didn't, you tried to control yourself and your anger, although you really weren't that angry.

Triple H consoled you that night, you sobbed into his chest while he wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head.

You didn't have sex that night, but you cried yourself to sleep.

When you woke up that morning, your eyes were still damp and wet.

You wish you could've attended the Renegade's funeral, but you couldn't due to being under the WWF's contract.

Despite you lost someone you had a crush on, you still managed to try to cope and keep up, that's what you've always done.

It just got even worse after the Renegade's death, because the Ravishing Rick Rude died in April that year, and he was one of the first members of D Generation X, even though many people have said he was a completely pointless and unnecessary member.

You weren't close to Rick, but you can still remember him, and you even thought of doing something slightly inspired by what he used to do during his heyday, where he'd invite a female fan to the ring after a match and kiss her, although you'd invite a sexy male fan into the ring after a match and give him a lapdance.

If that wasn't bad enough, the following month, Owen Hart had died when he entered the ring through the ceiling.

You broke down and bawled to the floor crying over Owen's death, and even worse, the episode still went on after Owen had died.

You weren't close to Owen, but he was someone you worked with and he was such a nice, friendly, likeable person who would never hurt a fly and loved his family.

Owen was way too nice and wholesome for the WWF's raunchy Attitude era, which even Owen himself didn't like because of the negativity it promoted, but Owen was probably one of the few kid friendly wrestlers during the WWF's naughty Attitude era, an era of antiheroes, raunch, violence and shock value.

Not to mention, Darren Drozdoff, or Droz as he's known as, had become paralyzed by accident during a wrestling match, and since 1999, he's been in a wheelchair and can't walk.

Again, you weren't all that close to Droz, but it's still sad he can't wrestle or walk anymore.

You suffered a lot of anxiety in the WWF that year, you were afraid many other wrestlers would either die or become paralyzed.

You ended up developing depression that year, and by the summer of 2000, you had left the WWF due to your depression and sex addiction.

But you were even more depressed during the summer of 2000 because there were so many hot, sexy men in the WWF like Christian, Jeff Hardy, Test and even Val Venis, as well as some hotties over in WCW and ECW, which were on its last legs, and you were upset you couldn't fuck them and be with them that summer because you were in a mental hospital and sex rehab.

However, your dream of being in WCW and ECW came true at the end of the year 2000, where you had some stints in ECW as well as WCW, and you appeared in the WWF part time by the end of the year 2000, having moments with a lot of hot wrestlers.

Although, you were somewhat depressed during your time and heyday in the WWF, because Brian Pillman, who you were close to, had died in 1997, and you were furious over Shawn Michaels and Triple H's insensitivity and disrespect to others in 1997/1996 backstage, and this was before they formed their D Generation X duo.

Triple H and Shawn Michaels backstage were massive jerks, especially Shawn, even when they weren't playing their DX characters on "Monday Night Raw".

You nearly even left the WWF in 1997 because of how disrespectful they were backstage, although you could at least leave them for someone like Billy Gunn, Bret Hart, Davey Boy Smith or Jeff Hardy.

Shawn and Triple H regretted their disrespect and disregard for others, and they hated seeing you in so much pain.

When you left the WWF in the summer of 2000, you actually did visit the Renegade's grave, where you crouched down to the ground and your hand caressed over his grave.

You didn't sexually caress his grave, just give it a little stroke.

You actually kneeled on the ground and kissed the top of his grave, not making out with it, but just giving it a gentle kiss.

Every year, on the anniversary of his death, you visited the Renegade's grave, kneeled on the ground and gave his grave a kiss, placing a bouquet of roses on top of his grave.

Sometimes, when you attend his grave, you have tears streaming down your face, and sometimes these tears have dropped onto his grave.

You didn't wipe those tears on his grave, you wanted them to be there.

In 2002, Davey Boy Smith/the British Bulldog had died of a heart attack, and this sent you into a state of panic, crying hysterically.

He was no longer in the WWF, which had then changed its name to the WWE, but you were really close to Davey, and you attended his funeral.

On the anniversary of his death every year, you visit Davey's grave, kiss his tombstone and give his grave a bouquet of roses.

On social media, on the anniversary of their deaths, you make a post of a deceased wrestler's remembrance, posting a picture of that departed wrestler or wrestling icon.

When it's the anniversary of a wrestler's death, if they've been buried, you attend their grave and give them a bouquet of flowers or roses.

You even attend the grave of a deceased famous person that you loved growing up during the anniversary of their death, setting down a bouquet on their grave.

Every year, on the anniversary of the Renegade's death, you attend the grave of a wrestler who wasn't all that great, but at least he seemed to want to be taken seriously, he was even trained by Killer Kowalski, who trained other wrestling icons like Triple H and Chyna.

Unlike who the Renegade stole his gimmick from, the Ultimate Warrior, who didn't care about training.

This is actually a true statement, many wrestlers have criticized the Ultimate Warrior for his lack of technique and in-ring psychology, and I've seen many wrestling fans criticize the Ultimate Warrior.

Hopefully the Renegade wasn't difficult to work with and an insensitive jerk like the Ultimate Warrior was.

[shanklin]

A Tale Of Two Stans And A Portal Gun

Summary:

It’s a tale of two Stans, but Stan has a portal gun and is not impressed.

Authors Note: This is just a short slightly cracky fic for my own amusement. Rick gets mentioned like once in this fic so I wouldn’t call it a proper Rick and Morty crossover tbh. Have fun.

----------------------------------------

“There is nothing about this I understand.” Stan says looking at the monstrosity before him.

“It's a trans-universal gateway, a punched hole through a weak spot in our dimension. I created it to-”

“No no. I get that. But why the hell did you make it so big and tacky looking?” Stan interrupts.

The portal looks incredibly impractical. And what's with all the writing around it and the weird unnecessary shape?

“Stan, this is no joking matter. For once in your life listen to me!”

Stan rolls his eyes. It’s clearly Ford who doesn’t listen, but he learned a long time ago not to argue with mad genius scientists. They always think they’re in the right no matter how wrong they are. He throws his hands up apologetically and gestures Ford to go on.

“This portal can be harnessed for terrible destruction. That's why I shut it down and hid my journals, which explained how to operate it. There's only one journal left. And you are the only person I can trust to take it.”

Ford hands Stan his journal. Huh, turns out Ford really called the right person to help him out. Destruction due to portals and dimension hopping are nothing new to Stan after all.

“I have something to ask of you. You remember our plans to sail around the world on a boat?”

Stan's whole face lights up with hope. This is it. After all he’s been through Ford gives him a second chance. They can finally fix their relationship and be brothers again.

“Take this book, get on a boat, and sail as far away as ya can! To the edge of the Earth! Bury it where no one can find it!”

Ford can’t be serious.

“That's it?! You finally wanna see me after ten years, and it's to tell me to get as far away from you as possible!?”

“Stanley, you don't understand what I'm up against! What I've been through!”

Ford can’t be fucking serious.

“No, no. You don't understand what I've been through!”

Stan wants to explain in more detail, but when the least traumatic thing that happened to you in ten years is that you once had to chew your way out of the trunk of a car, it gets difficult to know where to even start. He opts to go with the one thing that sums up his fucked up life the best instead.

“You think you've got problems? I've got a mullet, Stanford! Meanwhile, where have you been? Living it up in your fancy house in the woods! Selfishly hoarding your college money, because you only care about yourself.“

“I'm selfish? I'm selfish, Stanley? How can you say that after costing me my dream school?! I'm giving you a chance to do the first worthwhile thing in your life and you won't even listen!”

How can Ford still be mad about one stupid accident Stan caused ten years ago? Stan has enough.

“Well, listen to this. You want me to get rid of this book? Fine, I'll get rid of it right now!”

Stan pulls out the portal gun he nicked from Rick and fumbles with the settings.

“As far away as possible, you said? Sure. If that’s what it takes to make you happy.” He bites out, shoots open a portal and jumps through it before Ford can give him a reply.

Ten minutes later Stan pops back into Ford’s creepy science lair. He’s a bit more dirty and wetter than before, but all in all his mood has increased drastically.

He had enough time to think and came to the conclusion that a) Ford clearly isn’t in his right mind right now and b) that if Stan deserves second chances so does Ford. Hopefully Ford will be easier to talk to with his journal safely hidden.

Speaking of his brother, is he still standing in the same place Stan left him? And keeping his mouth open for so long in such a drafty place can’t be healthy either.

“So, I’ve been thinking we should-” A bite on his ear. Oh, looks like he accidentally carried something over with him.

He opens a portal up again and flings the gigantic, but surprisingly light, slimy bug that attached itself to his back into it.

“Sorry about that. As I was saying, I think we should try and start over again. You’re obviously going through something right now.”

Stan takes a step towards Ford, who flinches and backs away.

“Oh don’t worry, that bug wasn’t poisonous or contagious. Probably.” Stan tries to wave Ford’s worries off, but it looks like that wasn’t what had Ford so shook.

“How you the p-portal what?” Ford stutters out slack jawed and looks back and forth between Stan and the place where the portal disappeared from.

“Okay. Nevermind. We’ll talk later.”

Stan closes the distance between them and with one arm over Ford’s shoulder guides him towards the elevator out of the basement. Ford tries to protest, but in his weak state he’s even less of a match for Stan than normal.

“No. Wait, the portal. It’s dangerous.”

The panicked look in Ford’s eyes worries Stan and he does his best to calm him down.

“It’s not turned on, isn’t it? Nothing will happen like this.”

“But Bill. I have to dismantle it before Bill can use it!”

No. Oh no. Oh hell no. Ford’s sleep deprivation. The triangle shaped portal. Stan finally sees what’s been going on here.

“You don’t mean Bill Cipher do you?”

Ford’s horrified expression is answer enough.

Stan will never leave his brother out of his sight again after this. He’s clearly worse at making life choices than Stan is and that’s really saying something.

“Don’t worry, I haven’t made a deal with that bastard.” Stan says before Ford can ask.

“Let’s just get you cleaned up first and then we’ll take a little trip to a hospital in a dimension that specializes in treating dream demon possessions. You’ll feel better in no time.”

The elevator takes them upstairs and Ford stops protesting. If it’s out of trust in him or just sheer tiredness, Stan doesn’t know, but it’s a start. They can work on rebuilding their brotherly bond after Ford stops being every exorcist's wet dream.

“There there.” Stan whispers soothingly and gently pats Ford on his back when he starts shaking.

They’ll be fine.

[stonecoldjerseyfox]

Jersey on my mind (part 21)

On unsteady, still shaky legs Mila gets off the warm motorcycle seat and finds foothold against the asphalt. Discreetly she adjusts the slightly wet crotch area on the jeans, while Daryl leads the heavy motorcycle down the ditch, off road and out of sight for potential thieves. Thankfully her jeans are washed out black, making the warm, wet stain less noticeable. She’s still a bit hazy in the head. What the hell just happened? The fuck of a lifetime, that’s what’s happened! Mila can’t put it any other way. What a fucking orgasm! The thought of it almost makes her knees turn into jelly. 

As soon as they reached climax, Mila on top of a table with Daryl standing between her legs, it felt like she’d just been taking some psychedelic drug, as if her mind was going bananas. Her body felt feverish, her legs trembled as if she’d just run a marathon and her ‘sweet-spot’ pounded to the frantic beat of her heart. The archer in front of her, with one hand in a firm grip around her rear end, seemed to feel the same, trying his best to get a grip of the whole situation and what just happened, and in Mila’s case at least, how amazing it was! The fact that something warm ran down Mila’s inner thigh at the same time didn’t even bother her. It was too late to think about protection anyway at that stage. Hadn’t she read somewhere that it was all ‘good to go’ if it happened on top of a sturdy table, or was that just wishful horny thinking? Probably. The idea of whether a furniture functioned as a fullworthy contraceptive disappeared from Mila’s head when Daryl opened his mouth and, for the first time since they met outside the food store and pointed weapons at each other, expressed something from his heart, between heavy breathing. 

Mila follows Daryl into the woods, watches as the broad shouldered man leans the motorcycle against a tree and covers it with branches. The fresh memory of the firm grip around her thigh, his fingers grasping her hair and necks and the intense kissing, passes through her head, causing a pleasant shiver to run throughout Mila’s body. The thought of how it felt when he penetrated her, how he almost filled her all the way up her throat with his big- 

“Hey?”

Mila returns, almost drowsy, to the present and looks at Daryl, who’s seemingly back to his usual self.

“Hm?” She utters. “You done?” 

“I’ll get it later.” Daryl replies and nods his head into the woods. “Let’s get back.” He turns and starts walking. Mila strides up next to him. The involuntary celibacy she’s found herself in after Jim’s death has made her almost violently horny without knowing it. Her whole psyche and physique is disrupted;  is this what the walkers feel like all the time? Bozhe moy, the silent archer has awakened a monster inside of her, a monster that’s been repressed by grief and alcohol for the last couple of months. Nothing strange about it. But the fact that she shagged him on top of a table in an abandoned house, during a full blown apocalypse without protection was evidence enough that the ‘monster’, otherwise known as Mila, was back in business. 

“What ya’ said-” Daryl begins, but he hesitates. “I just-” once again he pauses. “Fuck-” Mila puts her hand on his arm, forces him to break and stop. “I mean, ya don’t have to-” his eyes flicker, he looks iffy and on the verge to implode. 

She needs to do something, needs to save him from having an emotional meltdown, probably one of few he’s ever had in his life. Mila interrupts him by pressing her lips against his, cupping his face, feeling the stubble brush up against the inside of her palms. She wants him, she wants him more than anything. She’s done grieving. When the world and life itself can end at any moment, but god forbid it would, there’s no time to mourn forever, and lately, Mila has felt feelings beyond abrasive grief and despair in her heart, that she has to sedate with lethal doses of alcohol. She’s been alive, not just survived, even though she was close to dying there for a while. That someone could wake up in the morning and not feel pure anxiety about having the ability to feel emotions, what a feeling! The reason that she no longer wakes up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night, after once again dreaming that she had to kill Jim, stands in front of her in the leafy woods, surrounded by greenery with a crossbow in his hand, completely unaware of his effect on her. 

Mila softly tears herself from him.

“You heard me before.” She says steadily.

”Wasn’t really- ” 

Daryl interrupts himself when the sound of voices in the distance bounce against the beeches around them. Like a shepherd who has weathered a squirrel, Daryl tips his ears and looks in the direction of Alexandria, tightening his grip around the crossbow. Mila’s brain shifts to battle ready in a second. She starts running toward the community before Daryl can say a word. Has the walkers managed to climb the wall, or worse? Daryl grabs her arm and tails her in just as they reach the edge of the greenery, pulls her in behind a tree. With her back against the rough surface and her heart pounding, Mila looks out from behind it. She sighs deeply, relieved, by the sight of the intact walls surrounding Alexandria. But in the air, she catches sight of Spencer. He’s dangling in a rope between one of the watchtowers and the roof of the burned church, with a grappling hook. 

“What the-”

Below Spencer, on the ground, the walkers hungrily gropes for his sprawling feet, like children groping for the candy in a pinata. The only thing that sets them apart is the lack of long sticks and colorful party hats. Rick screams at Spencer from the watchtower to ‘get his ass back over there’. The rope shakes by Spencer’s movements.  

“He’s gonna fall.” Daryl exhales. 

The next moment they see Spencer fall to the ground, into the hungry herd. Mila swears a few well-chosen, nasty words in her native language and steps out from behind the tree, with the AK lifted in front of her, closely followed by Daryl with the crossbow raised. 

“Spence, come on!” Rick shouts up in the watchtower, before he catches sight of her and Daryl, emerging from the trees. “Get him outta there!” he calls in their directions. “I’ll pull you up!”

“We’re on it!” Daryl shouts back as he sends an arrow into the head of a walker, that tries to close its jaws around Spencers kicking legs, while he desperately tries to get up from the ground. 

Under cover of heavy gunfire from Tara, hanging over the edge of the wall, and bare knuckles and arrows from Daryl, Mila shoves herself through the stinkin’ herd. She grabs Spencer in the back of the shirt and thugs at it as if he was a mischievous dog, forcing him to stumble over to the wall, where she presses herself and him up against the cold sheet. 

“Get up there, mudak!” Mila starts shooting walkers approaching with open jaws. In the corner of her eye she glares at Spencer, what a saphead. “Davay, davay!” She shouts, or more like barks, at him. 

While Rick, with the help of Tobin, pulls Spencer up with the help of the rope and back to safety in Alexandria, Daryl reaches the wall. He leans up against the corrugated sheet next to her and gives Spencer a hefty push, causing him to fly handlessly, the last bit over the wall. He lands with a thud on the other side. 

“Fuckin’ moron.” he mutters and looks down at her. “Ya’ next.” 

“I’ll manage on my own.” She grabs a firm hold on the rope that dangles over the edge of the wall. Mila hangs the rifle’s shoulder strap over her shoulder, grabs the rope and starts to climb, swearing and grunting by the not yet healed, sore wound, causing her core muscles to pound angrily. “Fucking, shitty, fuck fuck fuck!”

She crawls over the edge of the wall, with some help from Rick, while Daryl grabs the rope on the other side. While Rick screams something she can’t comprehend to Tara at the other tower, Mila looks at Spencer. Daryl gets over the edge of the wall at the same time as Rick gets a middle finger from Tara, and instead turns to Spencer.

“The hell’s the matter with ya’?!” Daryl sputters. 

Spencer pants, doesn’t reply at first, just wiggles his feet. He’s missing a shoe. 

“Lost the damn shoe. Crap.”

Without a word and with a head pounding with rage, Mila squats and grabs a hold of Spencer’s other foot. She tears the shoe from it and, without a word, throws it with all her power in a wide angle over the wall. With lips pressed to a narrow line, Mila looks at Spencer, whose face has transformed into a sheepish expression. 

“There. Now you lost both.” Mila sputters with a grunt as she stands up. “Mudak!”

She climbs down the ladder, while Rick takes over the scolding-torch and continues to yell at the now shoeless young man. Down on solid ground, Mila exhales and combs her windswept hair out of her flushing face, while Spencer attempts to explain his stupid decision to dangle over the herd like a bait. People pass her along the road and in the field behind the solar panels a group has gathered around Rosita with machetes. 

“I was trying to help.” Spencer pleads somewhere over her head. 

“That’s not helping.” Mila cries back towards the watchtower. “That’s just dumb!” 

The men up in the tower must’ve heard her, couldn’t have avoided hearing, but she receives no response. Rick just keeps barking like an angry pitbull at the poor fool. Daryl climbs down and joins her on the ground. 

“Idiot.” He wipes one of the arrows against his trouser leg. “Y’alright?”

“I would have easily made that climb.” Mila says, in an attempt to light up the mood. “Just saying.”

Daryl lets out a faint chuckle through his nostrils. Behind them, the others climb down from the tower and join them on the ground. Spencer hurries away, in his dirty socks, squeezing the rifle in his hands, followed by Tobin, muttering about ‘you stupid kids will be the death of me’. Rick looks anything but happy, peering at them through squinting eyes in the sunlight.  

“What the hell was that?” the sheriff points at the wall, too angry or upset to speak. For what, Mila wonders. No one got hurt. Spencer lost his shoes but that’s a piss in Mississippi in comparison to what could’ve happened if Rick, Tobin and Tara wasn’t there, and she and Daryl didn’t arrive just on time to save Spencer’s ass. “Where the fuck’ve you been?” Rick scoffs at the two of them. 

Mila looks at Daryl. He’s just as calm, or rather untouched, as usual. But he says nothing. What would he say? The truth? It is alluring, but not appropriate right now. Mila’s sure Daryl would never, ever, tell such a thing to anyone. Rick, on the other hand, seems to want to scold them as well, as he did with Spencer. Mila knows she should keep quiet, but-

“Are you angry?” 

The former sheriff is close to having a seizure at her cocky remark. 

“Are you kidding me?” Rick yells at her, making poor Eugene, standing over at Rosita’s ‘how to handle a machete’-school, to drop his machete into the grass as if it was a big spider. Rick points his index finger at Mila and Daryl. “You two left without a word to anyone- People are still missing. Our people! People here are scared, there’s one of those goddamn Wolf locked up in here because Morgan refuses to get blood on his hands... And Spence- I have every right to be mad!”

Rick’s eyes are furious, but he meets her gaze steadfastly. Mila feels a hand, Daryls, on her upper arm; an attempt to prevent her from, maybe, jump Rick.  

“Fine.” Mila sputters. “But don’t blame Morgan’s hippy dippy shit on me, or any of us. He’s his own damn responsibility. Not mine. If it was up to me, I’d neuter that… that-” She points towards the houses, where Morgan has hid the Wolf-man responsible for her wounds. “That asshole! I’m still tempted, believe me.” 

The stern sheriff puts his hands to his hips. Sweat trickles down his forehead. The white t-shirt is stained with dirt and patches of sweat. It looks like he’s had a rough day. But she won’t let him spoil her day, which has been quite magnificent so far. 

Rick looks at her, as to say; ‘please, help me here, what am I gonna do with Morgan?’As if Mila knew? She doesn’t understand Morgan's philosophy either and doesn’t agree with it at all. But she’s also crazy, genetically, obviously. Not that Rick knows about it.

“He thinks he can change that... man.” Rick bites his lower lip.

“And he’s a fool for thinking so, I agree.” Mila clenches her jaw. “That man is unsaveable, whatever Morgan believes. But Morgan’s our friend. The dumbest of ‘em all in this case, but still-”

Rick stays deadpan, cop-faced. He probably counts ‘one, two, three’ inside his head, to hopefully have a calmer mind when he comes to ‘ten’. 

“You didn’t see the others?” He asks instead.

“They’re not back?” Daryl looks at his friend in disbelief. “None of ‘em?”

Rick shakes his head. 

“Should be by now.” He shifts his weight to the other leg. “Where’ve you been anyway?”

“O-out.” Mila replies, stuttering.

“Doing what?” 

The clear blue eyes shift from her to Daryl, back to her, before setting on Daryl. On the inside, Mila giggles unabashedly. If he only knew. Sure, they left Alexandria to look for a pair of kid’s size nine sneakers for Juri, but things escalated from there, to say the least. Rick just has to look at Daryl to be able to put two and two together surprisingly fast. The two men know each other more than well by now, every little thing. Rick’s eyebrows rise slightly in his sweaty forehead and the angry facial expression disappears in a twinkle, as if he somehow, not entirely, can guess what happened on their small excursion. But he doesn’t say anything. In the corner of her eye, Daryl doesn’t seem to know exactly where to look, finally deciding to try and meet Rick’s ever so slightly amused face. The faint smirk, as in disbelief, is enough to get Daryl, who’s back to his grumpy self, going. 

”What?” The big archer replies, somewhere between irritated and uncomfortable.

”Nothing.” Rick shakes his head slightly. “Nothing. Glad you're back.” Rick turns around on the spot and starts walking away from them. “Safe.” 

Mila turns her head to Daryl, meets his eyes beneath the brown hair. She nudges her head to the side, as to ask him to walk with her. Telepathy or not; they begin to move in a slow pace towards the solar panels. The sun warms the back of her head. Things are calm. But she notices Daryl is sunken in thoughts. She puts her hand on his arm, feels the heat his body gives off throughout her entire body. 

“What’s the matter?” 

“Just-” He looks down on her hand. “Now what?”

“Don’t worry. They’ll be back.” Mila caresses him over the scruffy cheek, runs her hand down his muscular chest, encased in dark, worn shirt fabric and the biker vest, crowned by a pair of angel wings on the back. “I’m sure they’re-”

“No.” Daryl interrupts and the blue eyes almost devour her. “Just... “ He grasps for words. “This.” He says, looking down at her lips, then letting his eyes go back up to hers. ”Us.”

Everything that happens after ‘us’, happens as in slow motion. A crackling sound, like when loggers cut down trees, rumbles over the area and drowns the sound of birds, laughter and everything else around them. The cracking sound forces Mila to turn her head to the right, just in time to see the burnt church tower raging down over the wall against them.

[kinnaman-smorgasbord]

Esquire Singapore Dec 2019 - Joel Kinnaman Interview

OBSERVERVABLE ACTS

Editor-in-Chief: Norman Tan Photography: Michael Schwartz Stylist: Chloe Hartstein Groomer: Kristan Serafino Story: Wayne Cheong

Instead of a rooftop shoot that we had planned, we’re indoors at Dune Studios on Water Street. Outside, the weather is every writer’s dream: “It is an ash-streaked sky that portents a downpour.” “Like a warning, steel wool hangs overhead.” “A dishevelled blanket of grey that drifts languidly like detritus in a muddied pond.” A wet weather doth not a good shoot make.

When Joel Kinnaman arrives, the first thing you notice is how large he is. Bigger than life, broad-chested, he sometimes stands astride, like he’s about to break the spirit of a wild stallion. Then, there’s that presence; a sort of aura that’s quiet but still strong-arms you for your attention.

Just as the fashion shoot is about to start, Kinnaman asks if he could put on his own playlist for the shoot. He brings up his Spotify playlist, titled ‘For some of mankind’. ‘What Becomes of the Brokenhearted’ by Jimmy Ruffin plays.

“The playlists are just for fun,” Kinnaman tells me. “I’ve made a playlist for every project that I’ve been in.”

The project that this particular playlist was made for is For All Mankind, now playing on Apple TV+. It’s a show that puts forth the idea: what if America lost the space race to Russia?

Created and written by Ronald D Moore, the visionary behind the reimagined Battlestar Galactica and Outlander, For All Mankind stars Kinnaman as Edward Baldwin, a NASA astronaut who works alongside Buzz Aldrin (Chris Agos) and Neil Armstrong (Jeff Branson). Kinnaman’s character isn’t based on a particular historical figure, instead he is a composite or a representative of the ‘all-American’ astronauts of that era.

“I’m half-American and half-Swedish,” Kinnaman says. “I’ve lived in Sweden and America so, in a way, I���ve a split identity. My favourite part of the American spirit is not giving up. If they get knocked down, it is a national honour in getting back up and continuing the fight. In reality, when the US got to the moon, it concluded the space race. We didn’t get the continuation in space exploration that everyone was promised.”

Kinnaman is drawn to the science-fiction genre, fantasising of what could have been (though it can be said that the broad field of fiction can also put forward, ‘ what if’). Growing up, he watched the Star Wars movies, he loved the cyberpunk feel when he shot Altered Carbon. He is a fan of Blade Runner due to its dystopian future.

Do you think that sci-fi’s dystopian trope is becoming a reality? Kinnaman muses on that. “We’ve a president who is a national and international embarrassment. He’s immoral, a compulsive liar, a narcissist who doesn’t respect or appreciate democracy. I pray and hope that this nightmare would soon come to an end.

“But I believe we have the potential to overcome this. If we change paths and realign our focus in coming together as a human family, we can solve whatever problems that come our way together.”

This sentiment is echoed in For All Mankind, although the loss wasn’t the be-all and end-all for America. According to Moore, in losing the space race, America ends up the winner in the long run because of the continual effort into space exploration.

“Art can be a little lazy in pointing out the negatives. In many instances, the role that art and the artist play is showing us what’s wrong: that’s important but showcasing the positives is equally important. For All Mankind shows us how we should be operating if we are guided by our better angels.”

Physicist and theoretical biologist, Erwin Schrödinger, came up with a thought experiment. Imagine, if you will, a cat that’s sealed in a box. And inside that box is a device that might or might not kill the cat. Quantum theory states that quantum particles can exist in a superposition of states at the same time. Some even theorise that the quantum particles will collapse to a single state when it’s observed. When applied to Schrödinger’s cat, the feline is both dead and alive until you open the box.

Schrödinger came up with this thought experiment to explain that “misinterpreted simplification of quantum theory can lead to absurd results which don’t match real world quantum physics”. In the real world, it’s absurd that the cat is both dead and alive at the same time.

But one can also see this as an example of how the scientific theory works. Nobody really knows if a theory is right or wrong until it can be tested and proved. It’s like asking someone out on a date, you don’t know if that cute girl or guy will go out with you until you ask; the possibilities of rejection and acceptance remain in co-existence.

That is before you open the box.

Observe: Joel Kinnaman wouldn’t have existed if his father, Steve, had not defected from the US Army. An Indianapolis native, the elder Kinnaman was drafted and stationed in Bangkok, Thailand during the Vietnam War. While he was there, he started spending time with European backpackers, who have a different perspective of the war. A seed was planted. It finally blossomed when he attended a friend’s wedding in Laos. “It turned out that the woman’s family was half Laotian and half Vietnamese,” Kinnaman says. “It was an emotional moment for my dad. He asked himself if these were the people that he was going to kill.”

Still reeling from the love he had witnessed, the elder Kinnaman returned to his base. It was then that he was given the news that he was being reassigned to the battlefront in Vietnam.

In the history of war, the common punishment for desertion is death. According to the US Uniform Code of Military Justice, Article 85, it is meted out “by death of other such punishment as a court-martial may direct”. (Since the Civil War, only one American serviceman was executed for desertion: Private Eddie Slovik in 1945.)

Knowing the penalties for desertion, the elder Kinnaman made the decision that night to leave camp. He hitchhiked his way up into northern Thailand and into Laos. He burned his passport, changed his name and passed off as Canadian. For the next four years, he lived life among the Laotians doing odd jobs. Then, he found out that Sweden grants asylum to Vietnam deserters. Since moving to Sweden, President Jimmy Carter eventually issued an amnesty in 1977. The elder Kinnaman continues to reside in Sweden. After his first marriage ended, he was involved with Bitte, a therapist. This relationship yielded Joel.

“I’ve been working on the script about his life,” Kinnaman says. “The idea would be that I’d play my dad but I’m getting a little old.” It’s a story to be told, one about the dangers of blind patriotism; a tool that’s often exploited by governments. “We need to be critical individuals who should make up our own minds.”

Observe: Kinnaman had his first taste of acting when he was 10. He played Felix Lundström on Storstad, a soap opera that looks at the lives of the residents living in the fictional town of Malmtorget. Back then, Sweden had only two TV channels so even if it’s a secondary or even tertiary role on an ensemble piece, people will recognise you. “I didn’t understand it,” Kinnaman says. “There was something thrilling about being famous but there was something I didn’t like about it either.” His whole experience as a child actor was underwhelming.

In fact, taking a page from ‘history repeating itself ’, observe as Kinnaman could have been a soldier in the Swedish army.

“It was mandatory for the men to be conscripted for a year in the army and it was during my time when the rules for enlistment started to relax,” Kinnaman says. “If you didn’t want to enlist, all you have to do is purposely fail the proficiency tests.”

Alas, Kinnaman was so caught up in the competition that he aced it. His results showed potential to be a company leader. He was enlisted and assigned to an 18-month tour in the Arctic Circle but Kinnaman plum forgot about it. When he moved to Oslo, Norway, to be a bartender, he received a call from his mother, informing him that there was a government notice stating that he was supposed to enlist in three days.

He called the army to tell them that he was no longer in the country. “They said, this is a serious offence and I could get prison time for this. But if I were to write a letter to explain the situation, I could get out of this.” And then he forgot to write the letter. Kinnaman continued working odd jobs but he was always haunted by the thought that if he were ever to be arrested by the police for anything, they might discover his draft dodge from his records and he would be sent to prison.

“I ended up at this fight outside a night club and got taken in by the police.” Kinnaman says. Observe: Kinnaman could have ended up serving his sentence for draft dodging but nothing came of it.

Acting was calling out to him once more. His friend, Gustaf Skarsgård (famously known for his role as Floki in History Channel’s Vikings), was on track to becoming an actor and advised Kinnaman to apply for theatre school. After several applications, Kinnaman finally got into what he describes as “Sweden’s second-best acting school” and would go on to film two movies during his enrolment.

After graduation, he continued acting in Sweden before moving to America. He kept himself busy. He made an appearance in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo; starred as Governor Will Conway in House of Cards; made people notice with his portrayal as the homicide detective, Stephen Holder; scored the lead role in the Robocop remake; was cast as Rick Flag in Suicide Squad.

The one genre that Kinnaman can’t seem to appear in is comedy. Yes, he has a stern demeanour but the man is also funny. “Sometimes, Hollywood sees you in a certain way and it’s much easier to get cast for it. And the next is similar to that and so on. I haven’t made an effort to dissuade people’s opinion. The lighter side is probably more me.”

The closest he has gotten to doing comedy is the shooting of the Suicide Squad sequel. Helmed by James Gunn, Kinnaman said in another interview that it feels like he’s “shooting his first comedy”.

“I’ve been around tough people with issues before,” Kinnaman continues. “I’ve had some bad times so those kind of environments were natural to be in. It’s a survival mechanism too. A way for me to cope as I grew up. At the time, you’re figuring out about your identity. I felt insecure, powerless and didn’t know what to do in life.

“It was a period of my life that was pretty negative. But one of the beauties of acting is that those dark periods become a mother lode that you can mine from. Maybe I’ve drawn a little bit too much from it by playing too many tough guys.”

In May 2016, Kinnaman was one of the delegates and personalities from Denmark, Norway, Iceland, Finland and Sweden who was invited to one of President Obama’s final state dinners. Kinnaman, dressed in a sharp tuxedo, attended the dinner with his then-wife, Cleo Wattenström.

He overheard that the Obamas were fans of House of Cards and was looking forward to being introduced to them. At the reception, he and the other representatives stood in a row as President Obama made his way down the line, shaking hands and posing for a photo op. By Kinnaman’s admission, his mind wandered as he imagined what he’d say when President Obama came up to him. “Maybe I’d say, ‘Mr President’, and then he’ll say ‘Governor Conway’, and then we’ll laugh. And we’ll end it with a cool handshake.”

And all of a sudden, the president stood before him and Kinnaman muttered, “Mr President…” There was an awkward pause. Kinnaman would recount that it’s very possible that either the Obamas hadn’t watched the episode that he was in or if they did, his presence made zero impact. Before the silence could prolong, Kinnaman ended with, “thanks… for everything”. President Obama said something along the lines of, “Surely but surely, we cannot lose hope” and Kinnaman was ushered off.

He would retell this story when he introduced President Obama at Brilliant Minds, a conference of creative individuals who embody the forward-thinking spirit of Sweden, in June 2019. After the introduction, he returned backstage, where President Obama was waiting for his cue to go up. “He had this huge smile on his face and he said to me, ‘bring it in for a cool handshake.’ We hugged, we talked for about five minutes. He was super friendly. I’ll always remember that moment.”

Kinnaman isn’t shy about his politics. He voiced support for the #metoo movement; he had championed the environmental cause by one of his fellow Swedes, Greta Thunberg; he does not hide his disdain for the Trump administration.

“I think the last UN report stated that we have about eight years to turn back our carbon expenditure into the atmosphere,” Kinnaman says about where we’re heading as a species. “You don’t have to be a prophet to see that the world is heading towards the wrong direction. The oceans are heating up, the glaciers are melting. These natural disasters will be more frequent and that’s gonna lead to more tensions among countries.

“Politically, we’re moving towards a more nativist direction; people are pulling away from international cooperation. There’s the rise in disinformation campaigns, which will threaten democracy.”

But Kinnaman, ever the optimist, still believes in the human spirit, that we can innovate our way out of this quagmire.

Observe: Kinnaman, who was born with pectus excavatum, chose to correct the disorder instead of living with it.

Pectus excavatum is a chest-wall deformity that affects roughly one in 400. Instead of the breastbone being flush against the chest, it sinks in. Measured on a scale called the Haller index, anything above an index of 3.2 is considered severe. Kinnaman’s index was a seven or an eight.

“It’s something that’s survivable,” Kinnaman explains. “But it’s a condition that grows worse over time: your posture becomes worse; your stamina worsens as your heart is not given room to pump. By correcting it you can add years to your life.”

For a condition this severe, doctors had to insert two curved metal bars across his chest. Then the bars are turned to force the chest out and then the bars are wired to his ribs. The operation changed his life for the better. He doesn’t feel self-conscious whenever he removes his top. Six weeks after his surgery, he had to do reshoots for Suicide Squad. It was a fight sequence but Kinnaman sucked it up. “Would you like to feel it?” He asked.

He raised his arm like an invitation. I reached out and felt the spot, where the metal bars are, beneath the fabric and skin.

That’s an interesting party trick, I say. Kinnaman could only chuckle in response.

“It’s funny, if you ask me to say a line from a movie that I’ve been in before, I can’t. Not one line from any movie that I’ve done but I once did a monologue that was one hour and 30 minutes and I knew it by heart after 10 days.”

Kinnaman used to opine that as a Swedish American, growing up with dual cultures gives him a better perspective of the world but that also left him feeling like he doesn’t belong. He jumps from place to place, leading a nomadic existence.

“But I think,” he says as though he had stumbled upon some great truth a long time back, “I don’t wanna travel so much any more. Home. That’s where I’d like to be. I have two bases: one in Venice, LA and the other, an hour outside Stockholm.

“Growing up, my family didn’t have any money. We lived in this tiny little cottage that was in the middle of the woods. Now, I have this piece of land, where my family lives. This past midsummer was the first midsummer that we all spent together.

“That’s my new happy place.”

Joel Kinnaman looks like a man who has placed the final piece in that mystery of his life. He has stopped worrying about how he’s perceived by the public. He has exorcised people who have “struggled with jealousy, who don’t have a natural inclination towards generosity”. He has zero tolerance against bullshit. He likes how his career is shaping up—aside from Suicide Squad 2, For All Mankind is now filming a second season, and Kinnaman has three films coming out: The Informer; The Sound of Philadelphia and The Secrets We Keep; the last two, he avers, are his best work. “People who have watched me for a long time, it will remind them of my early career and for people who recently followed me, they will see a new side of me.

“I have goals that I’d like to achieve. Actor awards are such bullshit… until you get one. But yeah, that would be great. In future, I’d definitely want to be in a producing role and at some point, I’d like to also direct.

“I’ve said that I’d direct in five years time for about 10 years now.” That might change. His life is still a long and open road ahead.

Schrodinger’s cat posits two states that the creature can be in—dead or alive. But what if there’s a third option. That within the confines of the box, the cat is not there. It’s escaped. Unburdened from the stipulations of a thought experiment, free to do what it wants.

[hellcaster901]

Leather Dreams Ch 4

Chapter Four- Entertainment

Summary: Bonnie and her group are new to Alexandria. Rick and his people letting them in during a war they didn’t know about, being thrown in as extra people to fight. But as she sees the man they despise, she can’t help herself feel drawn to him, and he can’t either.

Warnings: Swearing, Slight Smut (we’re getting there!!)

Author’s Note: Thank you to you all who have been reblogging, liking, and even following me from reading this story. It means so much to me. Which is mostly the reason why I’m posting so many chapters. I wanna give you guys as much as I can! Thank you again for the positive feedback, it’s just making me wanting to keep writing. And again, please let me know if you want to be tagged for upcoming chapters. I’m going to try to do other stories, maybe even some one shots. Please let me know what you guys are wanting from me here! Thank you again.

Masterlist

~~~~

I grew nervous as we got closer to my house, Negan following close behind. I could tell he was enjoying the view, I caught him a couple times staring down at my ass. 

I saw Rob and Tony sitting there at the table, looking over at us. “Fuck” I mumbled, seeing Tony. The second his eyes landed on Negan, I could see how pissed he instantly became.

“What the fuck is this?” Tony yelled, standing up and pointing at Negan.

“Tony, knock it the fuck off.” I yelled back, stepping between him and Negan. Tony looked between me and Negan, a dry laugh leaving his lips.

“You’re protecting him?” Tony pointed. Negan was quiet during the whole thing, probably enjoying the entertainment he was getting. 

“Why would I have to protect him? You’re not going to do shit.” I snapped back, pushing him back. He was surprised as he took a few steps back. “What I did, what I’m doing,” I yelled, motioning between me and Negan, “Is for you. I’m saving your ass so you don’t end up with a bat indent in your head and six feet deep. So either you suck it up, and stop acting like my boyfriend,” I pointed at him, taking a step towards him. “Or I’ll let Negan do whatever he fucking wants to you.” Both Rob and Tony were surprised at my outburst, wide eyes staring at me and Negan. “Now leave.” I gritted. WIthout a word, Tony walked around me, walking past Negan and leaving. Rob hot on his tail.

“Damn Bonnie.” Negan laughed, walking up behind me. “Didn’t know you had that type of fire in ya.” I could feel him settle behind me, his breath on my ear as he leaned down. “Makes my dick tingly.” He whispered. I whipped around, Negan only a couple inches away from. He stood there, staring down at me, his tongue coming out and licking his bottom lip. He reached up, his hand tucking a piece of hair behind my ear. “Has anyone ever told you, that you are fucking sexy.” He chuckled, tilting my head up to look at him. I shook my head, staring at him.

“What do you want from me?” I asked him, hypnotized by the way he was looking at me. He almost looked at me like I was the only girl. I pushed the thought to the back of my head as I thought about it again. He looked at me like I was the only girl in this community that’ll be alone with him.

“What do you think I want?” Negan whispered, taking a step forward. I took a step back, trying to keep the distance. But he kept coming, kept taking steps after steps, making me move backwards until the edge of the table dug into my lower back. I gasped a little bit, feeling it dig into my spine. He moves fucking fast. 

“I don’t know Negan.” I whispered. He groaned a little bit, his hand coming down to rest on my neck, he held on, squeezing slightly. I moaned quietly, hoping to god he didn’t hear me, but sadly, God wanted me to suffer, and Negan heard me. 

“You like that?” He whispered, staring down at my lips. I stood there quietly, refusing to answer. “I said, do you fucking like that?” He repeated himself, squeezing my throat a little tighter. I moaned again, nodding, a feeling of guilt riding up my body as I actually did enjoy his touch on me. “You dirty girl.” An evil grin spread across his face as he closed the distance between us, trapping me between his lean body, and the table. “You’re actually a freak, aren’t you?” He smirked, rubbing my neck, his body heat emerging into mine.

“Why don’t you find out.” I whispered to him. I was surprised at my own words, almost not realizing that I said that. My own mind and body betraying me. God fucking damn it. 

“I was fucking hoping you’d say that.” Before I could protest against him, Negan leaned down, placing a fat kiss on my lips. I gasped against his lips, my eyes wide. I heard a soft clank, before feeling his arm wrap around my waist, his other hand going to the back of my head, holding me to him. I finally let myself enjoy the kiss, closing my eyes and moving my lips with his. HIs lips were smooth and thin against my plump ones. 

I pulled back from his quickly, looking up at the man with wide eyes. We stared at one another, heavy breaths leaving our lips.

I couldn’t help myself.

 I reached for his leather jacket, tugging on the front, pulling him closer, our lips colliding. I shouldn’t be doing this. This man was the enemy. This man killed Rick’s people, he almost killed Tony. I just kissed Rick not even an hour ago. An involuntary gasp left my lips as Negan lifted me up, placing me on the table. He moved himself between my thighs, a large hand coming down and grabbing onto it, squeezing. I moaned into his mouth, liking how big his hands really were. 

I was amazed at how well of a kisser Negan really was. His mouth moved against mine in a sweet, slow kiss. His tongue tracing my bottom lip before pushing into mine, exploring every inch he could. He wasn’t wanting to rush it, it felt like he was taking his time. But I could feel the passion behind it.

I moved my arms, throwing them over his shoulders and pulling him closer. He groaned against my lips as I raked my nails through his hair, digging into his skin. I clenched around nothing as I heard the sound come from his lips. 

I moved back to his chest, tugging at the zipper of his jacket, tugging it down until it opened, pushing it off his shoulders. It slid down his arms, falling to the floor. I pulled back, breathing heavily as I looked up at him, a white tee shirt covering his torso. His chest rose and fell as he watched me too. I noticed his plump lips, his hair in different directions, his eyes wide with lust. My hands went to my button up, slowly unbuttoning it, revealing the black bra I had on. 

“Holy fucking shit.” Negan breathed, watching me slip the shirt off. His hand moved from my thigh, up my stomach and onto my breast, his fingers slipping into the cup before moving to the strap. “Let me see those tits.” He groaned, tugging the strap down my shoulder, my breath hitched as he pulled the cup down roughly, my breast being exposed to his eyes. “Damn baby, where have you been my entire fucking life.” He growled, making a b-line to my nipple before taking it into his mouth. I gasped, arching into his mouth. We have to stop, I have to stop giving myself to him. I have to stop. He bit down on my nipple, a small scream leaving my lips at the pressure.

“Negan” I moaned, wrapping a leg around his waist and pulling him closer. We both moaned, feeling his bulge rub into my center.

“Fuck.” Negan moved, rutting into me a little bit, getting some release. Bonnie, stop, you have to stop. This isn’t right. 

I pulled him closer, pulling his head up and attaching my lips to his. I rolled my hips against him, his thick bulge rubbing harder into me,

“Keep this up princess, and you’re going to get my cock in that pussy.” Negan moaned against my lips. He kissed down my chin, his lips attacking my neck, biting and sucking as he rutted against me. “Or is your boyfriend going to have another fucking fit about it?”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” I whispered in his ear, nibbling on it. “And if you’re going to put actions to those words, you better fucking hurry.”

“You fucking dirty slut.” Negan groaned into my neck. His hands went to his belt, pulling it open. My mouth watered as I watch him reach into his pants, my pussy basically dripping, waiting to see what he was packing. 

Before I could see what he had going on, a few knocks on the door ripped us out of the moment we were having.

“What the actual fuck?” Negan yelled, pulling back from me. 

I sat there, wide eyed, my top hanging on my arms, my bra tugged down, pushing my breasts up.  I watched him as he cursed under his breath, fixing himself. I was disappointed, not being to see what he had under those pants, or even feel it. 

He looked at me, smirking as he grabbed his leather jacket off the floor.. He grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me to him, his lips landing on mine. He bit onto my bottom lip, tugging before letting it slap back. “We’re not done here.” He smiled, a smug look on his face. “I’m not done with you.” He grabbed my hand, guiding it to his very pronounced bulge. “You feel what you fucking did to me.” I grabbed at him, rubbing him over his pants. I tugged on his shirt, ignoring the knocking still coming from the door.

“That enough entertainment for you, sir?” I whispered into his ear. I noticed the shiver at my words. He pulled back, grinning at me. 

“You’re going to be begging me to wreck that pussy the next time I see you.” I pushed him back, his smile still wide as I fixed my bra. I pushed myself off the table, grabbing my shirt.

“I’d like to see you try.” I whispered to him, pulling the shirt on before buttoning it. You’re fucking flirting with him, Bonnie. What the hell are you even doing? I grabbed his bat, handing it to him with a wink. I got to the door, opening it and seeing one of Negan’s men standing there. The man looks at me, wide eyes. I’m sure I looked like a mess, my hair knotted, my shirt wrinkled and uneven on my body.

“And what is so goddamn important that you had to interrupt me in the middle of me getting my dick wet?” I blushed at his words, moving to the side for Negan to walk past. He landed a hand on my ass, grabbing tightly before passing. I glared at him as he looked over his shoulder, giving me a wink. 

“I just came to tell you we’re done collecting.” The man said, staring at me for a moment before looking at Negan. 

“And that was so important that you had to come and get me?” Negan asked again, leaning against the railing and staring at his man. The man stuttered a moment, trying to think of something to say.

“I thought you’d want to know, to leave.” He finally said. Negan shook his head slightly, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. 

“Get back to the damn truck, I’ll deal with you once we get back.” Negan waved, turning back to me. The man scurried off, running towards the gate. I watched him, noticing Rick and Michonne standing there. A wave of guilt filled my body as I saw Rick. I wonder what he thought happened in here, I wonder if he thought Negan took advantage of me, or if anything at all happened. I looked up at Negan, his eyes boring into mine. “You gonna give Ol’ Negan a kiss goodbye?” I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow at him. “Come on, you weren’t  fucking complaining before.” He winked. I rolled my eyes, looking over at Rick and Michonne.

“They’re watching.” I whispered, looking over at them. Negan glanced, eyeing the two of them. He only chuckled looking back at me. 

“Till next time.” He smiled, turning on his heel and leaving my porch.

***

“There’s not a lot Bonnie. “ Claire said, handing Emma back to me. “There’s enough diapers for the week, but besides that nothing. No crib or anything.” I sighed, looking down at Emma. She only smiled at me, holding her hands out to me. I grabbed one little hand, bouncing her slightly on my hip. 

“I appreciate you looking.” I told her. I grabbed a blanket from the couch, laying it on the floor and then folding it. I held Emma up, supporting her head and laying her on the blanket. She wiggled in my arms, smiling up at me as she laid there. “Look at you.” I chuckled, see her feet go again. “You’re going to be walking before I know it.”

“So…”Jenny started, leaning against the table. “What happened between you and Negan in here?” She giggled, almost like we were school girls. I could see out of the corner of my eye Claire was interested in this conversation too. I rolled my eyes, standing back up and sitting on the couch. The two of them came running over, sitting on the chairs in the living room with me. 

“Not a lot honestly.” I lied, keeping my eyes on the baby. 

“Liar.” Jenny smiled. My eyes shot up to hers, surprised at how quick she called me out. “I know for a fact if a handsome man like that was with me, I’d be all over him.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Yes, but his handsome man has done some shit. Shit to Rick’s people that can’t be forgiven.” I need to remember that, if Rick ever finds out what happened, I don’t know. I don’t even know what’s going on between us. That kiss was…. I don’t know.

“Not to us.” Claire told me.

“But he was close.” I reminded her. “He almost killed Tony. And if I didn’t tell him I’d ‘entertain’ him, Tony would be dead.” The two of them thought about it for a moment, realizing that I was right. 

“Tony cares about you.” Jenny smiled weakly, “Love makes us do crazy things.” I rolled my eyes, knowing Jenny had some feelings towards him. 

“But I don’t love him.” I told her. “The only feelings I have for him is a friend. And he’s forcing his feelings for me. He told Negan he was my boyfriend.”

“What? Really?” Claire asked, “He told Negan that?” I nodded.

“That first day we were here, and Negan came. He saw me upstairs after my shower, and he didn’t see anything, but I’m not sure exactly how long he was standing there until he said something.”

“What a creep.” Jenny scoffed.

“No that’s the thing.” I whispered, looking behind me to make sure Tony or Rob wasn’t listening, I leaned forward, “I don't care.” I confessed to them. Both their eyes widen, a sly smile spreading on their faces.

“You dirty girl.” Jenny joked, slapping my arm. I rolled my eyes at her, leaning back in the car. I looked down at Gwen, her arms waving and her legs going. SHe seemed to be enjoying herself. “So what actually happened when you guys came back here?” I sighed, leaning forward again. I told them about Tony and Rob, how I yelled at Tony, and how I told him that I was here because of him. I told them about what me and Negan did, how far I was willing to go, how I was willing to give myself to Negan, until one of his men interrupted us. “Holy shit.” Jenny laughed, slapping my other arm. I winched, leaning away from her. 

“I know. I know.” I smiled, “But you guys can’t tell anyone. I don’t know how Rick would react.” I explained. “I don’t know if he’d use it to his advantage, or kick me out.” The two of them looked at one another, agreeing they’d keep it a secret. “I’m not planning on sleeping with Negan. I can’t do that to Rick.” I told them. THey both looked a little confused. “I kissed Rick when we were on our run today.” 

“You slut.” Claire yelled, Emma jumped, her face scrunching up, tears falling. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.” Claire whispered. I huffed, standing up and grabbing Emma. I rocked her, shushing her as her sobs calmed down, turning into small sniffles. 

“It just happened. He kissed me.” I told them. I wiped at the tears left on Emma’s face. I could feel Claire and Jenny stare at me. “If he didn’t pull over and kiss me, we wouldn’t have found Emma.” I told them, holding the small child in my arms. Her eyes started getting heavy, her face getting sleepy. “It was like… fate or something.” I explained. “We found Emma, and her mother. They were in a tent and walkers were surrounding them. When we finally cleared the walkers, I opened the tent and Emma was there.” I was still shocked at what happened, only happening a few hours ago. “Her mom’s name was Emma, they didn’t have a name for her, so when she gave me the baby, I decided Emma was perfect.” Emma slept in my arms, her sweet chubby face peaceful. I pushed back a few strands of hair, already feeling myself get attached to this baby. “The mother was bit, and asked me to look out for her. When I had her in my arms…” I couldn’t continue, remembering how quick the mom was. Grabbing her gun, and shooting herself without hesitation. I knew Jenny and Claire knew what I meant. “She’s my responsibility now.” I told them, looking up at them. I chuckled a little bit. “If you would have told me I was going to be a mother at 27, I would’ve laughed at you.” 

“I’m sorry that you had to see that.” Jenny gave me a sweet smile, sympathizing with me. 

“That’s just the world we’re living in now.” 

[justjessame]

Put Me In Coach Chapter 26

It happened pretty fucking quickly.  The loss of Denise followed by Maggie’s pregnancy being in danger and then, Abraham and Glenn were dead.  At the hands of a shadowy figure that Rick and his group whispered about, but that I didn’t really acknowledge since I still had a few kids to teach.  Eric was still going on runs, Steven had taken over for Reg and was working with Eugene to keep the walls strong.  

Trey was growing like a little weed.  I’d started to keep track of his growth on the door frame of my bedroom.  A notch for every six months after his first birthday.  Two marks, and I almost didn’t believe that a little person could grow that much in six months.  I was with him, inside, when I heard the commotion outside.  A pounding on the gates, metal on metal it sounded like, and must have been since our house was further back than anyone else’s and the sound carried.  

I picked up Trey and walked to the bay window in the living room and knew, as I watched the hard looking people wandering through the streets, that the big bad wolf had come to visit.  Little did I know at that moment, that I knew that wolf intimately.  

I’d just stepped out onto my porch as I heard the whistle.  And then his voice.  A voice that I’d know anywhere.  A voice I’d heard moan, scream, growl, and demand.  My head jerked toward the sound, and there he was, like a walking dream or nightmare.  Wearing the jacket I’d given him, the swagger of his hips, and the scruff I’d told him repeatedly that I loved.  

“Mama?”  Trey’s tiny hand cupped my cheek forcing my eyes to land on his little pinched face.  “K?”

I nodded, kissing his forehead to sooth him, and me if I was being fucking honest.  “Yeah, Mama’s ok, baby.”  

“Holy fuck!”  I felt my stomach twist and I knew, without a fucking doubt, that Negan had seen me.  “AMARA?!”  

And there he was, standing at the foot of the steps of my porch, looking up at me like he was seeing a ghost.  I could fucking relate.  “Negan.”  I was happy to hear my voice sound steady and not even slightly breathless.  “Rick.”  I saw our leader looking like the beaten puppy he’d resembled since coming back without Glenn and Abraham.  

“Mama?”  Trey’s hand came back to my cheek.  I could feel his stress, and I kissed his forehead again, seeing Negan’s eyes widen. 

“Mama?”  His deep voice repeated, staring between Trey and I.  “How fucking long have we been apart?”  

I rolled my eyes.  “Trey, sweetie, can you go inside and find uncle Steven?”  I set him on his tiny feet and opened the front door.  “Tell him to come outside after he gets you a drink, we have a visitor.”  I knew that the entire message would be lost in translation, but I didn’t want my little boy to witness whatever was coming.  Turning back to find Negan still staring at me like I wasn’t only a ghost, but that I was a fucking ghost he didn’t really know was almost priceless.  “Mary made me promise to take care of him if anything happened- Not that I owe you an explanation.”  I crossed my arms over my chest.  “So Coach Negan is the big bad, times don’t change much, do they?”  

A woman rushed up to him and they had a quiet heated debate, and then there was a gunshot from the direction of our infirmary and I felt vindicated when he turned to rush toward the sound.  But then, asshole that Negan was, he turned back to me and said that one word that once help promise, but now sounded like a goddamn threat, “Soon.”

Carl had fired the shot, I learned later.  All the guns were being confiscated, which became a true problem when the inventory was short.  Poor Olivia, she’d taken over when Mary passed, was probably in a fit of fear and worry with Negan and his band of assholes.  They went house to house, including ours.  Steven had come out just as Negan turned the corner to find out the source of the gunshot, and once I told him he was cursing Eric going on a run.  

Negan returned, after the mattresses were removed from ALL the beds (except cribs, thank God), and then the bed frames were taken too.  Guns, beds, mattresses wasn’t he just amazing?  He came bounding up the steps and demanded that I come with him, to his headquarters, and I could bring Trey with me.  

“No.” Short and sweet, and I saw his eyes flash at my unwillingness.  “This is our home, we’re not going anywhere.”  

“Fine,” and I felt vindicated and like I’d won a victory.  “Kill that one-” he pointed at a random neighbor and I saw the same woman who’d tattled about whatever earlier raise her gun.

“WAIT!”  I looked down at the man I’d once thought I’d live the rest of my life with, and saw a complete stranger standing in his spot.  “I’ll come, but Trey stays.”  I swallowed past a lump that was forming in my throat.  Trey was inside with his toys during this, and I walked inside and told him I had to go for a very short trip, but that his uncles would be with him the entire time.  Steven was looking very green, having witnessed our showdown through the same bay window I’d stood in front of earlier that day.  “Don’t worry,” I told him, giving him a hug of his own.  “I’ll be back, I swear.”  He didn’t look convinced, but he knew that Trey could pick up on our stress so he forced it down.  “Now,” I held out my hands and Trey launched himself into my arms.  “Kiss Mama goodbye, and I’ll make uncle Stevie promise two bedtime stories.”  Trey gave me a wet sloppy kiss on my cheek and I smacked my lips against his cheek loudly getting a giggle.  “I love you, baby.”  

“Love ya,” and then he was wiggling to be let back down.  I set him down, gave him a long lingering look because I wanted nothing more than to stay with him and read books all night long, but instead, I would go with Negan if only to save another life.

The ride to wherever he was taking me was quiet and strained.  He knew me well enough to know that he couldn’t force me to speak if I didn’t want to.  Negan did try, however, to get me to say anything.  I think he was shocked by how angry I seemed.  How irritated his very presence was, and of course he thought he knew the answer.

“Who is he?”  I waited, wondering what the fuck he meant.  “Amara, who is he?”

I finally turned to face him, happy to see he was paying attention to the road.  I studied his profile, seeing the very subtle differences that eighteen months could create on someone’s face.  I wondered if I looked different to him?  

“Answer me, princess.”  I snorted and he shot me a look.  A glare actually.  

“First of all, I’m not a princess.”  I turned back to stare out my window.  “Second of all, you don’t fucking have any fucking right to order me to do anything.”  I heard his sharp intake of breath at this.  “And lastly, I’d answer your idiotic question if I knew what the fuck you were asking.  Who’s who?”

I could hear the leather of his gloves tighten on the steering wheel.  “Whoever you ended up with.”  What?  I was forced to turn to face his profile again.  Was he insane?  

“The fuck are you talking about?”  I sounded as uneducated as his question would assume he was.  “Who the fuck has time for romance now?!”

“Romance?”  It was his turn to snort.  “No one said ‘romance’, sweetheart.”  

“I’m not your sweetheart either, Negan.”  I growled, forcing myself to tear my gaze away from the sharp lines of his face, the curve of his lips, the scruff I’d always wanted him to sport, but he hadn’t because he thought it looked too dangerous for a coach.  

Another clutch of his gloves against the wheel.  “Not mine, then whose?”  

“Have you lost your fucking mind?”  I refused to face him again, clearly he’d gone completely bonkers from the strain of the world collapsing.  “I’m not with anyone, unless you count Eric and Steven, then I guess I’m the unicorn in a gay marriage, but I’m the unicorn that doesn’t get fucking touched, you asshole.”  

“Are you trying to tell me that in a year and a half, you haven’t once had anyone-”

“Stop right fucking there, Negan.”  Still staring at the nonexistent view outside the steadily moving truck I felt like I wanted to reach over and slap the shit out of him.  “Again, none of your fucking business, but NO, there’s been NO ONE since the world went to shit.”

“I-”  He started, but I went on.

“Is this your way of easing me into the conversation about your mistress?  Did you rescue her and are you taking me to show me that you found your ‘one’?”  I snarked at him, thinking that sounds about right.  He just stole the beds of an entire community to show what a big cock he had, so why not show your ex that you leveled up during the apocalypse?  

“Mistress?”  He sounded uncertain, but I didn’t check to confirm.  “Sweet- Amara, what the fuck are you talking about?”  

“The redhead?”  I offered, rolling my shoulders to release the rapidly building tension in my neck.  “You know, the naked one in the selfie you two took in her bed?”  I waited, but nothing came from his side of the truck.  “Too vague?  Maybe you had a LOT of redheads that took naked selfies with you in their bed, wouldn’t surprise me.”  

“Amara,” it came out as a whisper, and it sounded pained, but I didn’t care.  “Why didn’t you say-”

“When?”  I finally turned and saw that his eyes looked pinched with whatever emotion he was feeling currently.  “When was I supposed to say it?  When you rushed off to supposedly your ex wife’s deathbed?  When you were rushing to a job that you didn’t need to take?  When you barely spoke to me when you picked up a bag I PACKED FOR YOU to leave me with?”   I watched him swallow hard.  “I was so fucking stupid wasn’t I?”

“You don’t understand.”  Negan’s voice sounded like he was fighting a cold, it was hard to hear.  

I snorted again.  “Damn right I don’t.”  I turned back to the window.  “Take me back, Negan.  Back to my son, back to my family.  This is pointless.”

He didn’t, because of course he didn’t.  Instead, the ride was silent again.  I didn’t pay attention to the route, I knew that I’d be back in Alexandria soon, but I would be driven back by one of his people.  I wouldn’t have to come alone.  And I wouldn’t have to stay in his presence for much longer.  I’d let him have whatever say he thought he needed, and hopefully, I’d be home by morning.

The Sanctuary.  What could be said about the Sanctuary?  It was a former factory, clearly.  It was ‘secured’ by foaming at the mouth dead, which was an interesting touch.  And the people that lived there appeared to be a cult.

What else would you call a bunch of assholes that knelt in the dirt as Negan of all people walked by?  Or God help me, who answered “I am Negan” or “Negan” when the asshole next to me asked them who they were.  Seriously, what was in the fucking water here?  Note to self: Don’t fucking drink ANYTHING in these walls.  

The harem.  That was what I had a feeling was coming.  That’s a lie.  I’d assumed that I’d fucking meet my replacement, absolutely, but I had no idea that my replacement was a multitude.  

I shook my head as they clamored for his attention, realizing that Daryl was standing next to me with a start.  I’d forgotten that he’d been taken, and he looked terrible.  Dirty, but that was normal for Daryl, and those sweats?  Ew.  He was looking down and I wondered if it was because of me.

“Daryl?”  I kept my voice down, I had learned that trick from Negan after all.  I saw Daryl’s fist flinch so I knew he heard.  “Are you alright?”  Another flinch, this time in his shoulder.  Shit, had this moron hurt him?  “Damn him.”  

“Amara,” I glanced up and saw that Negan was watching me.  I raised an eyebrow and waited.  “Come with me, please?”  Ah, not an order, how lovely.  “D, take our guest back to his rooms.”  He shot a look toward Daryl and I felt my stomach twist.  

Wondering if I should just put my foot down and demand my return to Alexandria, I looked around the room his little women were loitering in and I felt my lips go tight.  MY FURNITURE.  This was the furniture from our house, the family room to be exact.  That fucking ass-

“Amara?”  My eyes flashed to his and I saw him gulp again.  “Let’s go somewhere more private.”  Good idea, wouldn’t want your fucking cocubines to see me rip you asshole to sternum, would you?  

I stalked toward the door he was holding open for me and knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was radiating rage.  And if he assumed the room he brought me to would lessen it, he was a fucking moron.  Our living room furniture in one corner and MY FUCKING BED right there.  

“You motherfucking-”  I felt his hand on my elbow and jerked free, ignoring the tingle his skin created against mine.  Turning to face him I almost got the rest unleashed, but Negan never fights fair, ever.  He tugged me to him and then his lips met mine and I felt it still.  The same rush, the same need, and God fucking help me the same love.  

He nipped at my lower lip and I sighed, letting his tongue in for a dance with mine.  And my hands found the back of his head, and my body was flush against his and I didn’t care for a moment about the text or the other women just outside.  All I cared about was the way he felt against me.  The taste of his mouth.  The scent of him.  And the fact that I missed him.  That I felt more relief that I wanted to admit to that he was alive.  And that I wanted him.  Just as much as I had the very first time we kissed.  

“God, I missed you,” he breathed when we came up for air, his breath fanning my wet lips.  “I was so fuckin’ scared that you were GONE.”  And then he dipped back in for more and I forgot why I didn’t want this, him.  Why I needed to go home, why this was a bad idea.  “I love you, Amara.”

That was the trigger, it seemed, hearing him say he loved me let me pull away.  I gave a harsh laugh.  “You love me?”  I shook my head and walked toward one of the windows that was dressed in the curtains we’d chosen for our living room.  “Love?  You LOVE me?”  I wondered when the words would make sense again.  “There are how many women outside sitting on MY fucking furniture, waiting to TOUCH you, Negan?”  

I heard him sigh.  Exasperated, that’s rich.  “I know how it must look-”

If I kept snorting, Eric was going to end up calling me Miss Piggy, I fucking knew it.  “It looks like you replaced me pretty fucking easily, Negan.”  I turned and took note of a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire.  “Interesting weapon.”  I saw him flinch.  “Wait, why did you look like that when I-”

Another gulp from him and his eyes tightened.  “Lucille?”  

“What about her?”  I was confused, and then he raised the bat.  “You named it after your ex wife.”  I shook my head and laughed, Jesus, this was getting better and better.  “So you have a harem,” I pointed in their general direction.  “And a bat named after your ex wife.”  Head nod toward the wooden plank.  “Where the fuck does the missing me coming in?”  

I watched him look around the room.  The furniture and decor.  Really? 

“You went back to our house and gutted it so your new digs would look classy?”  Yeah, I was done.  “Who’s going to drive me back to Alexandria?”  He stared at me like I’d lost MY mind.  “Seriously, I’m out.  This is ridiculous.  The feigned jealousy of an imaginary lover of mine.  The bat named after your ex.  The fucking harem sitting their weird Stepford wife looking asses on MY former furniture.  And MY FUCKING BED looking like a porn set when I don’t own a mattress anymore.  Yep, I’m done.”  I turned toward the door.

“It’s all here.”  His voice was still quiet, but it stopped me.  “Everything from our house.  Including all your-”

“Tell me you don’t have a fucking clothing shrine sitting here, Negan.  Or-”  I groaned.  “Do your girls get to play dress up as me?  Because that’s fucking disturbing.” 

“No,” his voice was low, but not the same seductive tone I remembered, this was far different.  “They touch nothing in this room, especially not your things.”  I shook my head, he sounded almost insulted that I’d suggested it.  “I’d kill everyone in this building if they touched your-”

“You’d murder people over my underwear?”  I shook my head, but didn’t face him.  “Let me go, Negan.  You made your life, and I have one of my own.  Hell, you even have variety.”  

“I only want you.”  Another whisper, and it cut me to the bone.  “Just you, Amara-”

“Then set me free, Negan,” my hand was on the doorknob.  “Or lock me up with Daryl, because that’s the only way I’m staying here.”