#he plays practically the exact same character in three movies it's pretty funny

[egg-emperor]

successfully found three more appearances of live action Deem Bristow in two 80s movies and a game and also some more dubbing stuff that I've never seen anyone else find and clip elsewhere today and it's so wild to see and hear all this stuff

my brother and I are very close to finding and compiling clips for a video that plans to showcase at least one role of his in each of every single thing he's been credited for online now. you wish you had these research and detective and compilation skills lol

[angrylizardjacket]

too old to trick or treat (too young to die) // charlotte&lola (penny&jupiter)

Summary: Two Halloween costumes Tommy witnesses the creation of, twenty years apart. His cousin’s, and her daughter’s.

A/N: 4001 words. knocked this out in literally 3 hours. okay so The Road Warrior didn’t come out until December of ‘81, and Supergirl didn’t come out until ‘84, but whatever, the timeline has been massaged for a number of reasons, bare with me, suspend your disbelief abt halloween costumes. ANYWAYS this came to me very suddenly and i had to write it. i’ve had enough angst, so have cute charlie & penny halloween moments now instead please and thank you. @misscharlottelee as always owns my heart w/ her characters. also mild sexual references in the first part bcos of mishearing something/misunderstanding a situation.

[ part of the charlotte&lola au of Run to Paradise ]

----

In 1981, Tommy dresses as Mad Max for Halloween; all pulled back hair, and a truly awful attempt at an Australian accent. He’s even butchered a leather jacket he’d found second-hand, much to the rest of the household’s horror. He’s pretty proud, despite Mick telling him to shut up since Tommy refuses to stop using the accent. 

Mick’s not wearing a costume, and isn’t going out with the rest of the band and the girls, he’s only here to give his opinions on their costumes, and drink with them until they leave. 

Nikki’s made no secret of the fact that he’s going as that guy from A Clockwork Orange, which, okay, is actually surprisingly subdued for his usual going out attire, and Vince would not shut up about the all-white suit he bought to be John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever. Something about both Vince and Nikki in all white makes Tommy think everyone’s going to ask if they’re both the same character, regardless of their various accessories, and they’re both going to be mad as all hell by the end of the night; if he had to hazard a guess, Tommy’s pretty sure he’s going to find it incredibly funny, and Nikki’s going to chase him down The Strip for laughing.

Lola’s had her hair in rollers all day, and came home the other week with a legally obtained, sparkly, black, singlet, which was kind of a big deal when Lola either lives in the bands’ clothes, or steals herself pants that actually fit. Her actual costume, however, is escaping him, right up until Tommy walks into the bathroom, to see Lola, in said singlet, black underwear, and nothing else, sitting patiently while Charlotte diligently applied dark eyeshadow further up lola’s brow than he’d been expecting.

“Frank N Furter?” Tommy asked, pleased and amused, still in his attempt at an Australian accent. Both Charlotte and Lola made a face at that, but Lola confirmed after a beat, lips overdrawn, shiny, a deep berry red. The idea that Lola had ever seen Rocky Horror Picture Show in cinemas enough to dress up as it’s main character was a strangely humanizing idea for the often-seemingly feral roadie. 

After a moment, however, Tommy takes in his cousin’s attire; she looks incredibly pretty, of course Charlie’s naturally pretty, but she’d gone out of her way to highlight it tonight. White dress, little tiara atop her head, makeup understated and still somehow glamorous, her hair’s still dark from where she and Lola had died it a few weeks ago in the wake of her split with Duff. Maybe they’d re-dyed it.

“You look pretty, Charlie, who are you meant to be?”

“You know you sound British, right, not Australian?” Charlotte doesn’t look up from where she’s working on Lola’s face.

“Shut up, you don’t even know anyone British,” Tommy counters, nose in the air, “and you haven’t even seen Mad Max, so shut it, you don’t know what an Australian accent sounds like.” And he’s haughty for all of a minute before he’s coming back with, “but seriously, who are you?” 

A wicked grin spreads across his cousin’s lips.

“That’s for me to know -”

“- us to know.” Lola corrects quickly.

“Us to know,” Charlotte agrees, “and you to find out.”

Super ominous. Charlotte’s been cagey about her Halloween costume since they’d decided to hit The Strip on Halloween as a group. Usually, Charlotte’s overflowing with excitement about her costume, back in high school, she’d roped him, Vince, and a few of their friends into being the Scooby Gang. She’s been various animals, movie characters, and last year, she’d spent almost a month putting together a truly gorgeous Cinderella costume. For all that she was detailed about her costumes, he’d always known her to play it safe.

But this year she’s been quiet. It’s unusual. Tommy blames Lola entirely.

The girls allow Tommy to stay in the bathroom until Lola’s face is done, and then, instead of leaving, they both demand he get out, closing the door after him, giggling conspiratorially like teenagers. 

“What’s their problem?” Nikki asks, attempting to apply eyeliner, though the only reflective surface he had was Mick’s sunglasses, and Mick looked about ready to throw him through a window for getting so close, and so Tommy moves on instinct, snatching the stub of an eyeliner pencil from Nikki’s grip, beckoning him out of Mick’s personal space.

“Not sure; they’re either hooking up, or plotting to kill us,” Tommy muses, trying his hardest to not poke Nikki in the eye. 

“Hot?” Nikki sounds like he’s not quite sure about that sentiment himself.

They can hear Lola and Charlotte talking in low voices, indistinctly in the bathroom, and clattering, and then - Take off your fucking heels! - Charlie, loud and nervous, followed by some begrudging grumbling from Lola. Scuffling, more clattering, and grunting.

“They’re definitely hooking up,” Nikki mutters. Tommy’s turning red. He’s not a prude, Christ, not even close, but... Charlie wouldn’t... right? Not when she knew how thin the walls were... Not with Lola, surely!

“Let go of me, I don’t need you to steady me -!” Lola now, and Nikki’s stepping back, laughing at the look on Tommy’s face. He’s not quite sure how he feels about the idea of him and his cousin both having -

“You’re shaking, you’re going to drop it!” 

What?

Silence, a few more indistinct, now muttered words, far quieter, far calmer, then - a loud, strange rush of liquid, like the shower being turned on, but much more immediate and shorter. 

“Holy shit, dude!” Lola’s yell radiates through the whole house, followed by a loud clatter, like something empty being dropped on the tiles, and Charlotte’s response is too quiet to hear. It’s followed by what is distinctly the sound of the hair dryer, and by now, all three men in the living room are just confused. 

Vince finally surfaces from his and Tommy’s room almost ten minutes later, hair appropriately slicked back, white suit impeccable, making a beeline for the fridge, equally confused.

“What the fuck is happening in there?” He asks, joining the other three, currently cutting up lines of coke on a plate, in the living room.

“I still think they’re hooking up,” Nikki says, frowning down, as if the intensity of his gaze will keep his hand from shaking where he’s trying to cut the coke. 

“Wishful thinking,” Mick grumbles, sitting back and taking a long sip of his vodka.

“Pretty sure lesbian sex doesn’t involve hairdryers,” Vince has to agree, and Tommy’s frown deepens.

“They’re not -”

“Fuckin’ semantics, man, sex without guys, you know what I meant,” he headed Tommy’s protests off before he could properly speak them, and Tommy’s own frown deepened. Mick looks like he wants to protest, but also knows all three men far to well to have any illusions about the abhorrent range of pornography they had consumed. 

The hair dryer turns off.

“You wouldn’t have half a fuckin’ clue about what real lesbian sex was like,” is what Mick chooses, instead, to say, and Vince flips him off, right as the bathroom door bursts open, and Lola, comically wide-eyed, stumbles out, what looks like blood splattered on her shins and thighs, high heels in one hand.

“Holy shit,” she’s gasping, laughing, disbelieving, “you guys are not fucking ready for this,” she’s looking altogether like a delighted Frank N Furter about to reveal and revel in her latest creation. The guys are so caught up in seeing Lola in her costume, that seeing Charlotte coming out after her is like being hit by a train.

She’s covered in blood. Head to toe, apart from her face, which she must have been covering with her hands. Bright right. Face serious and eyes wide and Tommy knows that expression, that look, that blood -

“Carrie!” He exclaims, “Fucking Hell, Charlie!” He announces at the top of his lungs, and Charlotte’s expression cracks to a bright smile, to delight at being recognized. 

“It’s paint!” Charlotte announces, giving a spin, and suddenly the hairdryer, the chatter, the confusion made sense. 

“Charlotte, you look fucking killer,” Nikki’s got a look in his eyes that reads as both intimidated and turned on, a look usually reserved for Lola, but Charlotte doesn’t seem to notice.

“Peach and Eileen are going to fucking scream,” Lola was absolutely delighted at this prospect, doing a line of coke when Nikki offered it, before pulling on her heels. 

Charlotte is beaming, looking cool as hell, and delighted with how the whole costume turned out. 

Only later that night will any of the boys discover the murder-scene the girls had left behind in the bathtub in their excitement to hit The Strip. Tommy feels like he’ll never get the image of the blood splattered tub out of his mind.

Which is why he finds it so baffling that he’s blindsided by it exactly twenty one years later.

In 2002, Charlotte’s daughter, Penny, now all of twenty years old, the exact age Charlie had been that iconic Halloween, and Tommy’s kid, Jupiter, eighteen and a half, the pair raised practically as siblings, had been marathoning mostly-trashy horror movies all through the month of October in anticipation for the night itself, and Johnny Hudson’s Halloween party. 

Jupiter had announced their intention to dress as Nancy from The Craft for the third year in a row, which ties it with the costume they’d chosen for the three years prior to that, which was Eric Draven, the main character from The Crow.

“Yes, it’s because I have a thing for Fairuza Balk in that movie,” Jupiter had announced defiantly when they’d made their intentions known at a dinner that Lola fortunately had time enough to attend, in between tours.

“That’s how I picked all my Halloween costumes at your age,” Lola had admitted with a shrug, though that just made Tommy frown as he goes to take a sip of his drink -

“Tim Curry as Frank N Furter -?”

“Lola did you go as Frank N Furter one Halloween?” Penny, delighted at the concept, leans forward over her pasta, eyes alight with mirth at the idea, looking so much like her mother that it almost stings. Lola herself has gone red, trying to suppress a smile.

“Tom, that’s not a discussion I want to have right now, but yes,” she says, slight warning in her voice, and Tommy chokes on his drink, both because he doesn’t quite know what she means by that, and because it’s rare for her to call him Tom, but then she’s looking up at Penny, smiling enough that it creases by her eyes, “and yes,” she deliberates, before adding, “I’m pretty sure that was the year your Auntie Eileen surprised everyone and dressed up as Uncle Mick, top hat and all,” Lola said, voice warm and fond at the memory, “he had no clue how to take it, shocked him enough that he actually came out on the town with us; I think it’ll always surprise him when people think he’d be a cool Halloween costume.” And she looks to Jupiter at that, while Jupiter themselves made direct and unwavering eye contact with their own pasta, while Penny nudged them, voice turning teasing, picking up on Lola’s cue, gently ribbing her cousin about the time they’d dressed up as Mick for Halloween, if only to spite the rest of their family. 

The conversation moves on, and Tommy thinks fondly of the memory of how bright Charlotte’s smile had been after she’d come out of their bathroom, looking as thought she was covered in blood. 

So this year, Tommy’s hit with a strange sense of deja vu in the lead up to Halloween, with Penny being cagey, and obviously in cahoots with his own child.

“Looking badass, as always,” Tommy grins, showing off his cheap, vampire fangs, as he leans in the doorway of his kid’s bedroom. Penny’s applying lip-gloss atop their black lipstick, but gives pauses as they both turn to him, scrutinizing his party-store vampire costume. With his own kids going away for the night, Tommy had been more than happy to host a Halloween party of his own for friends still in the business.

“I feel like you used to put more effort in,” Jupiter says slowly, looking from the too-small, satin cape, back to his face, and Tommy shrugs.

“I guess I could always put on one of my old eighties stage costumes,” he muses, playing like he’s seriously considering it, acting as though he couldn’t see Jupiter and Penny’s expressions both turn horrified, “I’ve still got them somewhere in the back of my closet -”

“Oh Jesus, dad,” Jupiter hisses, “you know we all know too much about how Lola felt about that weird fetish shit you guys would wear on stage, please don’t -”

“It’s not fetish shit, Jup,” but Tommy’s grinning at how embarrassed they both were, “it’s hair metal, it was hip!”

“It’s a red and black leather harness at best, and tights; I’ve seen more conservative outfits at a BDSM dungeon -”

“Dude!” Penny’s eyebrows shot up, and Tommy’s mouth dropped open. Penny, horrified, looked to her uncle; “it was one time-” she says, trying to make things better, but doing the exact opposite right as Jupiter tries to tell him it was a joke. Penny and Jupiter look to each other, both horrified at what the other had said, how it must look.

“Pen!”

“It was Johnny’s idea!” Penny blurted out, and looked to Tommy, as if realising she was digging herself deeper, “we went there as a joke!”

“That part is true,” Jupiter conceded, but Tommy kept his mouth shut, raising his hands in surrender, as if to say ‘that’s your business, as adults, but I’d rather not know’, and he’s quick to leave them to their mutual, horrified bickering. 

He hadn’t even thought to ask what Penny was going as. All he knows is that she and Jupiter had been arguing because ‘it’s a trashy movie, Pen’ - ‘I love it, so shut up; you get witch powers from being an angry loner, I get them from being prom queen’ - ‘did we even watch the same movie? That’s not -” - “then just picture the original, you liked the original!’ - ‘oh, I’m past the movie itself, it’s the - they’re both angry loners, Pen,’ - ‘yeah, okay yeah, but it’s a cool aesthetic, Jup, come on -’. That was a few weeks ago, Tommy still isn’t quite sure what it could be, beyond witchy powers. Usually Penny’s costumes were straightforward, or she’d at the very least announce them in advanced...

Tommy finds himself blaming his own, erratic and mischievous child entirely; just as Lola had been known to be a bad influence on Charlie, so too could their children mirror this dynamic almost uncannily. 

It only gets stranger when, an hour after doing Jupiter’s makeup, they both seem to be in full costume, and should be ready to go, they’re nowhere to be found, but they haven’t said goodbye.

Penny comes rushing past Tommy in a whirlwind, carrying something bulky in her arms, making a beeline for the downstairs guest bathroom.

“Pen, whaddya got there?” Tommy calls out, and Penny stops dead. She’s in a pretty, white dress, with her hair all done up, and a tiara sitting on top. It’s... familiar. 

“Glue?” Penny’s obvious lie has Tommy frowning.

“Glue?” He asks, with a huff of disbelieving laughter. When she swivels towards him, he can see that she’s holding a large, white, pourable bottle, the label of which, Penny is conveniently covering. 

“We’re sniffing it?”

“Penny, what the fuck?” Jupiter calls from the bathroom, and Penny takes off at a run, avoiding Tommy’s further questions, and Tommy himself, who, with a sudden nervousness at whatever the real situation was, follows quickly. All he can see is large, clear plastic sheets covering every single surface and every wall, like the lair of a murderer in a movie, and then Jupiter’s face with all it’s dark makeup and sprayed up hair, as they’re apologizing, and slamming the door in his face. He’s pretty sure he read the word blood on somewhere on the bottle that Penny had put down.

“Jupiter Carlotta Lee, I’ve told you before that we don’t fuck with real witchcraft!” Tommy jiggled the handle, but the door was firmly locked, “not after what happened with Nikki and Lita!”

“It’s not witchcraft!” Jupiter calls back, and Tommy can hear Penny groan about how he’s still going to kill them.

“Don’t murder your fuckin’ cousin in there, you hear me?” He jiggles the door handle again, harder this time, not quite sure of what was happening in there, but concerned nonetheless. 

“Hey!” Penny shouts back, “why do you think I’m the one getting murdered in here?”

“I was addressing both of you,” Tommy sighed, leaning his forehead against the door, defeated, “what are you doing? What’s so bad that you have to keep me locked out?”

“I’ll tell you when we’re done -”

“Jupiter!”

“It’s messy,” Jupiter explained, and followed it up with a quiet, “okay, get in the bath, take off your shoes,” clearly not aimed at Tommy, before yelling back to him, “I’d rather do it, clean it up, and then beg for forgiveness in that order before you decide whether or not you want to murder us.” 

“Are you sure it’s safe to stand up there?” Comes Penny’s soft question to her cousin, followed by a phrase burned into the back of Tommy’s mind, somehow still there after everything it’s been through.

“Let go of me, I don’t need you to steady me -” 

And everything clicks into place, the blood, the outfit, the mess -

“Are you pouring fake blood on your cousin right now?!” Tommy’s tone is disbelieving, and he’s met with silence, and then the slow sound of liquid being poured.

“No?” Penny calls back, before spluttering a little, “it’s in my mouth.” She hisses.

“Then close your mouth!” Jupiter hisses back.

“I wasn’t talking to you, Pennylope; Jup?” Tommy squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers exactly how much scrubbing he and the rest of the occupants of the Motley House had to do over the next week, and even then the bathroom was never quite the same. 

But he’s met with silence, and then he starts to hear what can only be the excess fake blood dripping into the tub. And then the sound of a much emptier bottle being put on the bench.

“No, I am not currently pouring fake blood on my cousin,” Jupiter announces; Tommy thinks he can feel a headache forming with each moment that passes. There are moments exactly like this one, in which he is reminded that Jupiter is without a doubt his and Lola’s kid, which is both a blessing and a curse.

“Penny, stay in the tub,” he calls, “make sure you wash your feet off once you’re dry; a hairdryer helps it dry faster.”

Despite their confusion at how he would know such a thing, the pair in the bathroom know better than to look a gift horse in the mouth. Tommy, for his part, breathes a sigh of relief; this, at least, he knew how to handle. At least they put more thought into it than Charlotte and Lola had back in the day. 

Heading upstairs while they let the fake blood dry, he finds the photo Lola had dug up from her archives in her and Nikki’s garage. 

Eileen, Charlotte, Lola, and Peach, all in a row outside the Starwood, all grinning from ear to ear. Eileen as Mick, Lola as Frank N Furter, Peach as Supergirl, and Charlotte, beaming, covered in blood red paint, as Carrie.

By the time he resurfaces from the wave of memories that had overwhelmed him, Tommy gets downstairs to see the guest bathroom door open.

“How messy is it?” He calls, concerned. Jupiter sticks their head out. The hairdryer is still going. 

“Not as bad as I thought, should all just wash down the drain; the plastic on the walls was probably overkill,” they admit, and Tommy gives a thin-lipped grin, remembering the splatter that came up to knee height on the walls by the bathtub in the Motley House. Though, to be fair, Lola was simply pouring an entire bucket of thinned house-paint over Charlotte’s head - it was neither Lola nor Charlotte’s brightest idea, in hindsight - Jupiter, with a bottle of screen-grade fake blood from the looks of it, would have a much more controlled pour. 

And Penny would definitely have a much easier time getting it off.

When Tommy sees Penny, it’s like looking into a window from the past, the way she’s beaming, pleased and bright and covered in blood, she looks so proud to be horrifying.

“What now?” Penny asks, fond but exasperated, and Tommy snaps out of his thoughts, “what exactly about this,” she gestures to her whole self, blood soaked and standing in the tub, being hairdryed by Jupiter, “reminds you of mom?”

“What do you mean?” Tommy asks, playing dumb, and Penny’s expression softens, but she still rolls her eyes, arms out while Jupiter dries her.

“You get a look in your eye when I do something that reminds you too much of mom, and yeah it’s sweet, but this specifically is a really weird thing to get emotional -”

“This is your mom on Halloween, nineteen-eighty-one,” Tommy holds out the photo so she wouldn’t have to touch it, incase the blood on her hands was still wet, interrupting his niece.

“Oh,” Penny’s voice is so quiet, “for real?” She asks, eyes wide and misty when she looks at Tommy, and he gives a fondly amused look, and nod in response. “I didn’t even know,” Penny gave a quiet, disbelieving laugh, her own gaze turning adoring as she takes in the photo once more. 

Jupiter twists to look at the photo, still drying Penny, then looks in the mirror, then back at the photo, and scowls, but keeps quiet about how they’ve just realized, at least in terms of makeup and overall pallet, how similar their costume is to their mother’s. But they’re well aware that this isn’t their moment.

“Did Lola own pants?” Jupiter does mutter, more to themselves than expecting a response, and not getting one anyhow.

“Lola poured a bucket of red paint over her head in the apartment we shared, took five of us a full week to clean it all up after,” Tommy explained to Penny, smiling.

“No wonder you were worried about us doing the same thing,” Penny snorted, and leans in, looking at her mother’s smiling face; almost the same face she sees in the mirror, if not for the blue of her eyes.

“Yeah, but I should have known you two would be smarter about it, much as I love your mom, Jup, when we were young, she wasn’t exactly known for her common sense,” and as Tommy says it, even the quietly resentful Jupiter cracks a smile. 

“She looked so cool,” Penny muses, “they all do; that’s Aunt Eileen and Peach, right? The other two?” And Tommy confirms as much, also making sure to note that all four women were always better at Halloween than the rest of the band; in a move that Tommy’s seen Charlotte do a thousand times, Penny rolls her eyes, smirks, and says ‘yeah, obviously’ all smug and amused.

Tommy just smiles, asks if he can take a photo once Penny’s all dry, reminds them to call Lola and Nikki if they need a lift home, and waves goodbye to them when their taxi arrives.

The minute the taxi is off the property, Tommy’s cracking open a beer, and dialing Lola’s number in the minutes before his own guests are due to arrive.

“Lols, you’re never gonna fuckin’ believe what just happened.”

[asherranceoftheheart]

My Housemate Might Be the Antichrist? - Drabble Series #1

Summary:   A series of little drabbles on the sitcom AU where Jack's a weird bastard who grew up with Anti as his only example of social manners, Chase Brody as the fussing mom friend and the only seal of the apocalypse, Stacy Anderson as an upcoming lawyer who has a tendency for violence and swindling other people, Anti who is Anti, and all the others who are watching the chaos that is that household and wondering how the fuck it hasn't collapsed yet. Character/s: Chase Brody, Antisepticeye, Stacy Anderson, Jack McLoughlin, mentions of the other egos Pairing/s: None, Chase Brody/Vacation/Advil Warning/s: None, Soft(?)Anti, Some Horror Cliches like blood on mirror but for comedic effect Genre/s: Humor, Fluff, Friendship Note: It would probably be easier to follow the entire thing if you read it from AO3 since it’d be in one link. But that’s up to you dear readers! (Archive Of Our Own Edition)

“So get this,” Jack didn’t even look up from his phone when his roommate burst into his room. “I think my room is haunted.”

“Dude we already talked about this,” Jack said with a flat tone that spoke of how many times they’ve talked about this exact topic. “I am not possessed. You are not possessed. None of us are possessed.”

“Tell that to the guy who looks like you but with green hair, completely black eyes, and a slit throat standing at the end of my bed at three in the morning while creepily smiling at me and I hear some unknown demonic language being whispered around me,” Chase whined and dropped his entire body on top of Jack’s stomach.

The older man grunted and half-heartedly shoved at the other who was now childishly pouting. Jack rolled his eyes at the pout and knocked his fist against Chase’s head lightly.

“You are exactly like a long lost annoying little brother,” Jack told his housemate dryly. “Besides, I told you. It’s just Anti, the whatever he is who’s been following me since childhood. He’s just playing a little sleep paralysis prank on you. That’s all.”

Chase turned his head to stare at him dubiously with those pretty baby blues and Jack couldn’t resist flicking him on his forehead. The younger man yelped and slapped his offending hand away with a glare while rubbing the reddening spot in the middle of his forehead sullenly.

“You say that as if it’s completely normal to have someone like Anti following you around.” Chase shot back while Jack shrugged nonchalantly because it is normal for him.

“Look on the bright side, Anti likes you. If he didn’t you’d have ran out of our shared room a long time ago when we were roommates for college.” Jack patted his head and ruffled his hair in a pacifying manner. Chase just sulkily slumped down on top of him and pressed his cheek against the soft cover of his bed.

“I thought you were pranking me and I was staying out of complete spite.” Chase bluntly said, looking him dead in the eyes.

Jack just patted his head like he was a cute little puppy.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

There was a weird guy wearing a cat mask and a cliché magician’s cape standing in front of their door. Jack had been playing Kingdom Hearts 3 in the living room when somebody rang the doorbell to their house. Originally, he was going to let Anti answer it for him but then he remembered Stacy’s threat about killing him in his sleep if they get another phone call about a possible serial killer in the house.

“Good afternoon sir,” at least the odd stranger seemed rather polite even though he kept staring at Anti who was looming behind him like an off-brand Slenderman. “I don’t know how to put this reasonably but… are you aware that an evil creature has been following you?”

Ah. This was one of those situations.

“We don’t accept solicitations,” Jack gave the man the friendly smile that he learned from Chase. 

Apparently, the smile that he grew up with after learning it from Anti belonged more to that of a horror movie’s villain.

Chase tried to bring it up gently to him by saying it’s rather unnerving while Stacy just outright said to his and Anti’s face that people would rather take the stairs than ride in the same elevator with him if he kept that creepy smile up.

As it is, he was already closing the door on the weird man’s shocked and outraged face. Hah. That one’s a pretty funny face. He could hear Anti snickering behind him.

“Wait—!” The man tried to stop him from closing the door but Jack was unrelenting.

“Sorry,” he apologized without a single shred of remorse or guilt in his entire existence.

The door was shut with a loud click. 

Jack flipped the lock for extra measure and briefly wondered if he had closed the backdoor.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Stacy emerged from her bedroom, her hair unkempt and flying all over the place, her eyes ringed with dark shadows from lack of sleep, and her body yearning for that sweet, delicious caffeine. The woman had been up all night for the past weeks reviewing for her law board exam in an almost panicked frenzy. If it hadn’t been for Chase occasionally forcing her to go the fuck to sleep, she was pretty sure she would’ve dropped dead by the first week of unending readings and memorizing that she had been doing. She could already smell that blessed nectar of the gods being brewed in the kitchen and she could hear Chase humming a cute lil song while no doubt shaking that bubble butt around while he’s cooking breakfast for all of them.

“Hey boys,” the sleepless woman grunted as she slipped into the dining room and sat down on the nearest seat. “How’re things going for you guys?”

“Anti threatened to kill me last night because I ate the last pack of cheetos.” Chase said as he exited the kitchen to place a mug full of that heavenly black as her soul coffee in front of her.

“Just add that to the millions of baseless threats that he’s given you for the past six years.” Stacy dismissed his words with a wave before she took a sip of that scalding coffee with a happy moan. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to live without your coffee, Chaser.”

Chase just patted her head as a wordless ‘you’re welcome’ before placing a breakfast plate in front of Jack whose face was completely smushed against the table while he’s completely passed out. He flicked his ear and smirked when the older man jolted up awake with a bewildered shine on his normally calm face before Jack realized that there was food in front of him.

“Rise and shine, Jackaboy,” Chase ruffled Jack’s hair, chuckling at the disgruntled grunt he received. “Good morning to you too, Creepy Bastard number one.”

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Chase woke up to the sound of his alarm blaring through his room. He was half-tempted to push the snooze button but the consequences of having a cranky household—especially this household—is too much of a headache to even consider facing. He lazily rolled out of his bed, kicking away the blankets that were entangled around his limbs and landed on the floor with a soft thump.

The sleepy man fumbled for his way to his own bathroom and flicked the light on. He blinked at the red that covered his face mirror and sighed.

DON’T FORGET THAT YOU HAVE A 10 AM APPOINTMENT WITH YOUR THERAPIST TODAY.

“I promise I won’t Anti,” Chase mumbled as the bloody letters began to fade away now that its message has been delivered and understood. “Thanks for the daily reminders, buddy. I just wish you won’t do the blood schtick. Well, at least you clean them up yourself now. So great job on that!”

He knew that the creature was watching him and could feel the smug self-satisfied aura that was practically oozing out of the demon. Chase internally thanked all of the useful advice he read from all of the parenting books he bought from the bookstore that mentioned Positive Affirmation of good deeds is effective in helping the lessons stick. It took a few weeks of providing positive rewards such as giving Anti his favorite snacks, and giving him some leeways on the lighter chaotic actions for him to start making progress.

Who knew that parenting techniques are great at teaching ancient demons on how to be more civilized people?

[curious-minx]

Left Behind In The Halloween Parade: Late Review of Bob’s Burgers And The Simpsons.

The First Sunday of November, and the Last Sunday of the Trump and Biden election, found Hulu finally uploading the Bob’s Burgers and Simpsons Halloween episodes. So in the spirit of taking your sweet ass time that is exactly what I did with this review. The Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is probably the weakest of the series, a series that is practically a Hallmark card company in terms of the amount of holiday-inspired content they have churned out. Episode “Heartbreak Hotel-oween” isn’t a particularly offensive in any way it just fails to live up to Halloween episodes such as my personal favorites Season 8 “The Wolf of Wharf Street,” which remains one of the most visually stunning episodes of the series,  and  Season 4, the series’ second Halloween episode,“Fort Night,” which has incredibly gruesome stakes and the most satisfying entry in the Louise versus Millie feud. 

“Heartbreak Hotel-oween” is still ultimately pretty good and though it took a second viewing to fully appreciate it I do like watching the Belcher children deftly sail through the world of adults. The tantalizing plot thread of a Bob’s Burgers Delivery service is dangled and I would like to see more Delivery based plots. Getting these characters into different areas and expanding upon the ambitious Jersey shore town. Having the kids deliver a burger to an older woman using the burger as a lure for her seance is flattened against a brown and forgettable after thought of a hotel. Everything with the Belcher kids is good and interesting and with the help of Andy Daly voicing the Hotel Manager; Lindsey Stoddart doing Quarantine duty and voicing multiple characters including the old woman Dolores conducting the seance, and Loren Bouchard Home Movies collaborator Melissa Robbins stops by as a bystander character as well. 

The episode starts getting in its own way with the adults blood bank centric B-plot. The entire plot is given in a single exchange with Teddie being excited about donating blood and everyman Bob with his everyman  O-negative blood finds giving blood nauseating and gross. That’s it. That’s the whole plot and besides the blood banker workers being dressed up as vampires there are no other comedic games being played and it is total unmemorable fluff, which has been a common issue for the ongoing series. One thing this episode does right is at least get Bob, Linda and Teddie out of the restaurant and into a new environment. A lot of the verbal exchanges between Bob, Linda and Teddie feel a lot more stilted due to Covid recordings and the lack of non-scripted banter is sorely missed. I have noticed this season having more John H. Benjamin monologue Bob by himself moments, which only work when Bob’s imagination is in full flight. Where was the talking bag of Bob’s blood? Hell I wouldn’t even had objected to hearing a dang song sung by the vampires to help soothe Bob into giving blood or something beyond: Bob doesn’t like giving blood because it makes him woozy, he gives blood and get’s woozy. 

Overall this is a perfectly serviceable episode: three Ghost-baiting cheeseburgers out of five. 

////

Intermission. 

Fox is certainly using the Loren Bouchard & Molyneux sisters brand like a blood bag with the recent announcement of the new series The Great North. Wendy Molyneux is a frequent writer, (executive) story editor since Bob’s Burgers inception. She is the writer of  “The Wolf of Wharf Street” and the episode of Bob’s Burgers I have watched the most - “There's No Business Like Mr. Business Business,” because I am a cat fanatic, John Oliver fan, and have been the pet companion of a standard poodle exactly like Snoodle named Faust that I love dearly. Basically, I am excited for this show. Molyneux is also a deeply connected collaborator with Megan Mullally writing on all 74 episodes of Mullally’s forgotten by the ages The Megan Mullally Show. A show according to Wikipedia’s citation of Fox News, “viewers were disappointed to find out that Megan is not anything like Karen in real life,” and if there is any white woman out there that is an anti-Karen it is Mullally. Mullally is not the focus of the show but her more visible and commercially accessible husband Nick Offerman is finally being anointed into the annals of TV Dads. With his three sons voiced by Paul Rust, Will Forte and National Treasure Aparna Nancherla and sole daughter voiced by Bob’s Burgers alum Jenny Slate, who recently honorably stepped down from a lucrative tv series Big Mouth deal like the real champ that she is.  Mullally will show up as Jenny Slate’s character’s boss andThe cast is undeniable the backdrop of Alaska has a lot of promise for elaborate or interesting set pieces. I am ready for this show! Will this be Bob’s Burgers Futurama? That’s probably a vicious hex based on how Futurama was infamously jerked around by Fox. FOX has already given the show a promising two-season deal, which is already a lot better than what Netflix did for Tuca and Bertie. Faint nowhere discussions of the Bob’s Burgers movie were also mentioned in an interview with Bouchard who has a cantankerous “theater release only” policy, which bums out a little, but I would much prefer they take as long as possible. The Bob’s Burgers movie cannot end up carrying out the Simpson movie curse.

/////

I am no Simsons scholar. I could not give you an active ranking of favorite Tree House of Horror episodes. I could tell you that I really like Bart as an Edgar Allen Poe’s Raven. You don’t need to be Simpsons scholar to safely state that “Treehouse of Horror XXXI” should be ashamed to show its “funny face.” For starters the entire appeal of the anthology style of storytelling has been completely deflated by having two of the previous episodes in this season being gimmicky non-standard episodes. The only positive thing I can say about this episode is that it is an important teaching tool for what the most broken and shittiest, laziest satire imaginable would look like and the 2020 Election cold opening is actually pretty solid. All of the good will earned by the strong opening is completely squandered starting with an inexplicably CGI Toys Story sketch. I am assuming the animation department went with CGI because the source material is CGI. The CGI is really bad and makes me really miss the 3D models of Simpsons Hit And Run and perfectly charming The Simpsons Game. Instead this sketch’s particular animation looks like the animators were most inspired not by Pixar’s clean and craftsmen like CGI models but were going for more of a Fanboy & Chum Chum look. A Toy’s Story parody in this day and age is asinine in its laziness, but it’s still an evergreen territory. A good Toy’s Story parody is possible, but simply having Bart play out the role of Toy Story’s Sid except he gets lobotomized by his own toys. I did appreciate the writer’s making the explicit moral of the story to not buy toys, which for a Disney product like the Simpsons is pretty rich. 

Behold! The last recorded instance of a quality Toys Story satire from China, IL

The next two parodies go down slightly better simply because they aren’t sporting that eye bleeding animation but paying homage to Enter The Spider-verse and Russian Doll/Happy Death Day 2U in 2020 feels just as dated as Toy Story. What kind of fool is still writing about Russian Doll in 2020? The Enter the Homer-verse sketch is at least ambitious and showcases how masturbatory  the show has come whenever it is showcasing Dan Castellaneta’s various vocal talents. I get it dude, you like having dump trucks of money given to you for barely making an effort and doing Hannah Barbara impersonations that sound more like a bad Woody Allen. Regardless, this is still the one sketch that makes the most attempt to have comedic games with its multiple iterations of Homer and even throwing out some alternative universe Burns and Smithers for good measure. The final third Russian Doll sketch that let’s you know that this sketch is more Russian Doll than Happy Death Day by using the same exact Harry Nilsson “Gotta Get Up”  piano riff. This sketch had potential but once again the show writers and creatives seem to only indulge the worst possible instincts and cast Lisa as the lead of the sketch. So that means we get to watch this 8 soon-to-be 9 year old girl and fellow child Nelson get murdered in a variety of banal and brutal ways, and it’s just not fun or pleasant to watch. The obvious choice is an unexpected Springfield resident and if it has to be a Simpson having Marge or one of her sisters be the Nadia surrogate makes far more logical sense and Marge’s birthday would carry more emotional weight. 

Reminder to myself to check out this lost late series entry where Natasha Lyonne is the voice of Krusty’s daughter. 

I completely understand why The AV Club canceled their coverage of The Simpsons. The whole series has a very masochistic and sadistic pull and tug between creatives and fans. The sweet and simple souls of Den of Geek are still reviewing the Simpsons and offer a far more favorable review: https://www.denofgeek.com/tv/the-simpsons-season-32-episode-4-review-treehouse-of-horror-xxxi/.  Google results also yield one another publication reviewing this current season published on medium that has been taken by for violating medium rules. Will the Simpsons be coming for me next? 

Skip this episode! Judging by the synopsis of the season’s next ep finding the Simpsons, once again, finding themselves somewhere other than Springfield is looking to be another skippable entry. I want to be proven wrong! The latter day Simpsons seasons usually have a memorable or decent episode here or there. So far the only thing remarkable about this season is how much it wants to try to be different and think outside of the Springfield box but in the process give the season an overwhelming sense of hollowness. I shall forge ahead with my coverage, because I am either a masochist or a sadist depending on the weather. 

[the-light-followed]

WYRD SISTERS (1988) [DISC. #6; WITCHES #2]

“‘No one would come up here this time of night.’  Magrat peered around timidly.  Here and there on the moor were huge standing stones, their origins lost in time, which were said to lead mobile and private lives of their own. She shivered.  ‘What’s to be afraid of?’ she managed.  ‘Us,’ said Granny Weatherwax, smugly.”

Rating: 6/10

Standalone Okay: Yes

Read First: Yeah!

Discworld Books Masterpost: [x]

* * * * * * * * * *

I’m just going to jump right in with this one: the best part about the Witches sub-series of the Discworld is that they are all, in their own way, stories about stories.  They’re stories that follow other stories, the tropes and archetypes and established narrative structure, but they’re also stories that subvert that structure at just the right moment to make something that feels much more truthful, and often, much more real.

Stories about stories.

This is sometimes very literal: Wyrd Sisters, for example, has very obvious Shakespearean roots, notably from Hamlet and Macbeth, and seems to gleefully delight in throwing around references—three witches meeting to cast spells, blood on the murderer’s hands that won’t wash away, the ghost of a murdered father begging his son to seek revenge, a theater called The Dysk that mimics Shakespeare’s Globe, etc., etc., etc.—that then get turned over on their heads.  We’ll see it done again with the fairy tale elements of Witches Abroad, and the Phantom of the Opera parody that is Maskerade. These books are, in a very real sense, skipping the setup and instead using cultural touchstones as framework. The books starring the witches are literally new stories being told about stories we, the audience, already know and recognize.

But sometimes it isn’t literal at all: witches, after all, work magic most often through psychology and metaphor.  “Headology,” as the witches call it, is the basis of witchcraft, and it’s all about the stories being told.  It’s in the things the witches do for respect, like their hats and black outfits and their out-of-the-way cottages they pass down from one witch to the next, or the way they bow instead of curtsey.  It’s in the things they call magic even when it isn’t, like using real herbs and medicines to cure illnesses, or waving their hands over a pot of tea and chanting nonsense before ‘reading the future’ in the leaves, all of it only for the look of the thing from the outside.

And it’s also in the things they tell themselves. For example, when Magrat’s broomstick stops working in Wyrd Sisters, she does what she calls a Change spell—which simply means that the rest of the world remains the same, but she changes the way she sees herself.  Before, she was a young woman on a broom rapidly falling out of the sky, and now she’s a confident young witch who can deal with any disaster that comes her way, so she’s therefore a lot less worried about it.  

And it works.  That’s the thing: Magrat is just fine.  Witches do magic in and on themselves, it’s all nothing more than a thought, and yet it works.

None of the Witches books are particularly subtle about the point they’re trying to make with the whole deal, either.  In Wyrd Sisters, it seems like everyone is talking about the power of words and stories, the way that the things we tell ourselves and each other can shape the reality of the world we inhabit.  There are some negatives you can pull out of that message—history is malleable and written by the victors, propaganda triumphs over the truth, etc., etc.  But there are a lot of more interesting, thought-provoking ideas to consider, instead. For example: just because narrative structure has already delivered us the broad strokes of the plot (anyone who’s studied any Shakespeare, which can reasonably be assumed to be any native English speaker older than about sixteen, can probably guess the general course of Wyrd Sisters by about page twenty), it doesn’t mean there can’t be originality and meaning in the specifics.

And that originality and meaning is what makes all the Discworld books work so well.  Pratchett is parodying, sure, but he’s also creating something very new and earnest and sincere, and that just doesn’t work if the story is an exact beat-for-beat retelling of an already-told tale.

Wyrd Sisters agrees with that idea. Destiny is all well and good—it’s nice to think that what’s to come is pre-planned, easy to predict, and impossible to subvert—but the world just doesn’t work like that.  The story isn’t plotted out in advance.

As Pratchett says later in the book: “Destiny was funny stuff…You couldn’t trust it.  Often you couldn’t even see it.  Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something else—coincidence, maybe, or providence.  You barred the door against it, and it was standing behind you.  Then just when you thought you had it nailed down it walked away with the hammer.”

The witches certainly don’t truck with destiny.  Or, well, it may be a tool in their storytelling arsenal, but they don’t see it as a concrete thing.  Destiny is what you make of it, and Granny and Nanny are movers and shakers.  That makes it especially ironic that the book is called Wyrd Sisters—the word “wyrd” is an old Anglo-Saxon concept referring to fate or personal destiny, so the “wyrd sisters” themselves typically would be the three Fates, a la Greek mythology, rather than three women who tend to grab Fate and Destiny by the ears and twist until they decide to agree that the witches have the right of it.

Honestly, though, if Granny Weatherwax looked at me like that, I’d do whatever she wanted, too.

I just want to bring up something I really like about Pratchett’s writing style: despite the fantastical setting, despite how far from reality he can get, he’s not afraid to switch to Roundworld concepts or just flat-out break the fourth wall in exchange for better, more impactful descriptions.  I like to call this cinematic writing, and sometimes that’s actually very literal. There are quite a few passages in various Discworld books where he starts to write in an almost movie-script style.  After Moving Pictures, which is still a good four books away at this point, I think that becomes less notable.  Here, and in the previous few Discworld books (Mort, Sourcery, Equal Rites), when Discworld does not have any parallel equivalent to Roundworld’s Hollywood, it’s pretty damn unusual for an author to just outright throw aside their own fantasy setting to make a description in real-world terms.

My favorite example of this from Wyrd Sisters:

“It is almost impossible to convey the sudden passage of fifteen years and two months in words.  It’s a lot easier in pictures, when you just use a calendar with lots of pages blowing off, or a clock with hands moving faster and faster until they blur, or trees bursting into blossom and fruiting in a matter of seconds… Well, you know.  Or the sun becomes a fiery streak across the sky, and days and nights flicker past jerkily like a bad zoetrope, and the fashions visible in the clothes shop across the road whip on and off faster than a lunchtime stripper with five pubs to do. There are any amount of ways, but they won’t be required because, in fact, none of this happened.”

You can practically imagine the way that scene would look in a blockbuster movie, and it’s wonderful that Pratchett describes it crystal clear just to let us know that it is not, in fact, how it looked at all.

There’s a lot more to like about Wyrd Sisters, too, for all that it isn’t one of my favorite Discworld books.  It’s a far better introduction to the witches—specifically Granny Weatherwax—than Equal Rites is, even though Equal Rites is technically the first book in the Witches sub-series.  It introduces some characters we’ll see a lot more of later, like King Verence and the greater Ogg family, but also characters that will go on to become staples of the Discworld, like Nanny Ogg and Magrat.  We also have some lovely cameos from already established characters: notably Death and his interactions during the play at the castle, but there are some good Ankh-Morpork moments, like the Librarian’s appearance at a barfight.

And we get to see the good old Discworld humor really click—it’s all about that balance between absurdism and realism, or between established tropes and self-awareness.  One of my favorite examples of this comes right at the beginning of the book:

“As the cauldron bubbled an eldritch voice shrieked: ‘When shall we three meet again?’  There was a pause.  Finally another voice said, in far more ordinary tones: ‘Well, I can do next Tuesday.’”

Pratchett’s really got a sense for it by this point, and he can deliver zinger after unexpectedly delightful zinger.  Discworld books are always beautifully funny, of course, even though after a while you really get a feel for when a good joke is coming.  Some people might think that knowing the punchline is coming might make it less funny: it absolutely does not.  All it does is make the unexpected, sneaky moments—when the humor Pratchett has been secretly setting up for ages finally creeps up to smack you in the face—hit harder.  Maybe others disagree, but I can read Discworld novels again and again, and they always get me just as much as they did the first time through.  In my opinion, that’s real comedic talent.

Up next in the series we have Pyramids, our first unconnected one-off story, which is wonderfully weird even for a Discworld book!  Stay tuned!

* * * * * * * * * *

Side Notes:

Every time that oh-so popular Ankh-Morporkian dive bar, the Drum, pops up, it’s fun to note where it’s at these days: Mended Drum, Broken Drum, etc.  In Wyrd Sisters, Tomjon and Hwel go drinking in the Mended Drum.

There are several adaptations of Wyrd Sisters, including a 4-part BBC radio show, an animated film, and a stageplay.

As I go over my highlighted quotes and annotations from each book, putting these posts together, I learn more and more about myself.  What I like, what I find funny, what I care to notice.  For example, Vetinari shows up exactly ONCE in this book, and just in a footnote, and yet I still highlighted it and wrote a note next to it that contained mostly exclamation points.  There’s no real point to this; I just want everyone to know how much I love Vetinari.

Favorite Quotes:

“As the cauldron bubbled an eldritch voice shrieked: ‘When shall we three meet again?’ There was a pause.  Finally another voice said, in far more ordinary tones: ‘Well, I can do next Tuesday.’”

“Witches are not by nature gregarious, at least with other witches, and they certainly don’t have leaders.  Granny Weatherwax was the most highly-regarded of the leaders they didn’t have.”

“Now, just when a body would have been useful, it had let him down.  Or out.”

“‘No one would come up here this time of night.’ Magrat peered around timidly.  Here and there on the moor were huge standing stones, their origins lost in time, which were said to lead mobile and private lives of their own.  She shivered.  ‘What’s to be afraid of?’ she managed.  ‘Us,’ said Granny Weatherwax, smugly.”

“‘How many times have you thrown a magic ring into the deepest depths of the ocean and then, when you get home and have a nice bit of turbot for your tea, there it is?’ They considered this in silence. ‘Never,’ said Granny irritably. ‘And nor have you.’”

“His body was standing to attention.  Despite all his efforts his stomach stood at ease.”

“Back down on the plains, when you kicked people they kicked back.  Up here, when you kicked people they moved away and just waited patiently for your leg to fall off.”

“The Ogg grandchildren were encouraged to believe that monsters from the dawn of time dwelt in its depths, since Nanny believed that a bit of thrilling and pointless terror was an essential ingredient of the magic of childhood.”

“She gave the guards a nod as she went through.  It didn’t occur to either of them to stop her because witches, like beekeepers and big gorillas, went where they liked.  In any case, an elderly lady banging a bowl with a spoon was probably not the spearhead of an invasion force.”

“‘You’re wondering whether I really would cut your throat,’ panted Magrat.  ‘I don’t know either.  Think of the fun we could have together, finding out.’”

“Wizards assassinated each other in drafty corridors, witches just cut one another dead in the street.  And they were all as self-centered as a spinning top.  Even when they help other people, she thought, they’re secretly doing it for themselves.  Honestly, they’re just like big children.  Except for me, she thought smugly.”

“‘Man just went past with a cat on his head,’ one of them remarked, after a minute or two’s reflection.  ‘See who it was?’  ‘The Fool, I think.’  There was a thoughtful pause.  The second guard shifted his grip on his halberd.  ‘It’s a rotten job,’ he said.  ‘But I suppose someone’s got to do it.’”

“Granny’s implicit belief that everything should get out of her way extended to other witches, very tall trees and, on occasion, mountains.”

“Only in our dreams are we free.  The rest of the time we need wages.”

“Words were indeed insubstantial.  They were as soft as water, but they were also as powerful as water and now they were rushing over the audience, eroding the levees of veracity, and carrying away the past.”

“‘Witches just aren’t like that,’ said Magrat.  ‘We live in harmony with the great cycles of Nature, and do no harm to anyone, and it’s wicked of them to say we don’t.  We ought to fill their bones with hot lead.’”

“‘I shall haunt their corridors,’ he said, ‘and whisper under the doors on still nights.’ His voice grew fainter, almost lost in the ceaseless roar of the river.  ‘I shall make basket chairs creak most alarmingly, just you wait and see.’ Death grinned at him.  NOW YOU’RE TALKING.”

[pokecommunitycenter]

Hi Dash !! It’s Time to Meet a Member of the RPC !!

Ditto would like to introduce... Dun Duuuuuun !! 

It’s Jason ♡ !! Though some of you may know them as @haematophiliac​ !!

Established in Spooky October of 2018, they’ve been around the RPC for a good long while as a Team Rocket Scientist OC, but here’s a looksee at some things you may have not known !! Ditto hopes you enjoy getting to know the writer just as much as Ditto did !!

♡ Interview... START !!

Ditto would like you to introduce yourself a little bit. The url you go by, maybe how you picked it. Was it a joke at first that you just stuck with, does it have significant meaning?

The username is what people would call a lover of blood. I started Jax in … 2018? Octoberish and he had the common username including Rocket in it and I decided to pick a theme more fitting to him. Eventually I settled with the current one as it fits him as a blood obsessor to put it bluntly. I mean he likes blood, works around a lot of it and all that so it just… Well, stuck!

Was there something about Team Rocket in general that drew you in? Over other ‘evil’ organizations, Rocket is considered the OG & probably largest. But, over Plasma/Galactic, what made you choose Rocket?

I’ve always been a Rocket fan. I started in the Pokemon fandom (can you call it a fandom back then) in 1998 when I was only eight by watching the anime. You could say that Rocket started my love for bad guys actually! I used to adore Jessie and James so much. They were just so fun, funny and adorable. Maybe I had a crush on one… Ahem! But yes, as a kid I fell for the trio (I didn’t forget loveable Meowth there!) and ever since then I’ve been a fan. I love all the bad guys mind you but Rocket holds a special place in my heart. Just always been like that.

A bonus question !! Did any characters from the original Anime / Franchise…  help you develop Jax at all?

A good question but Jax actually was inspired by a character I role played in a completely different fandom. I mean you cannot compare them - Jax is a human with so many faults and the other character is… Well, a plain old monster. But when I first made Jax I put little bits of the old character into him, such as formal speaking and love for blood. He started pretty much as a clean slate. I evolved him over the first few weeks.

Do you think that, because you play a character that is not a ‘good guy’ or as you put it, a monster, that people that may not know you well find you hard to approach?

Indeed so. Though I only speak of experience in the past here! When I played my full out monster in another fandom, people would tell others they were actually scared of me on an OOC level. Needless to say I’ve spoken to many people who were scared and helped them realise that it is just a muse I play. When it comes to Tumblr I find the fandom much more open and less afraid? Though I don’t know for certain because people could be afraid for all I know and I just don’t know. I hope I’m approachable enough anyway!

So then !! To help the part community that may not know you well, or might be a little hesitant because you play a blood loving bad guy, what are some things that you may have in common with everyone? Do you have a favorite pokemon? Or a region that just was WACK & you loved it so much? What’s on that most repeated playlist you got? Or maybe a few movies that you really love?

I read every blog’s rules and I’ve noticed that a lot of people are socially anxious. Which to be fair… I am too! I get nervous around people I don’t know and aahhhh, well, I’m in the exact same boat. We all start as strangers and all it takes is one foot forward to break that ice but, like others, I do find that first step very intimidating. I’m just your average nerd to be fair haha. As for my favourite Pokemon? Sneasel! I fell in love with that little critter after watching the Celebi movie when it came out. Favourite region would be Hoenn. I just have fond memories of it I guess as a Ruby fan. It was the first game my battery ran out of energy on. My music is too horrific for anybody’s ears if that’s what you mean hah. And movies? … … Digimon the movie (1+2+3 in Japan and just the first (all three combined) in UK and presumably other places too).

As someone who feels that weird wiggle when trying to step out of your comfort zone to make friends. Do you have any advice for people that want to get to know you better? Or, reaching out to people in general?

When reaching out to me - or anybody else - I find the best approach can be a simple hello. It instantly shatters that ice between two people. Like… Many of us are afraid to simply say hello. But if you manage to break that first bit it’s amazing! If you don’t there is always another day. Conversation can escalate from a mere hello. Or even reply to an open post if serious or funny! That first step is the hardest indeed but things get easier after that first hurdle. The worst someone can do is walk away and then perhaps it just wasn’t meant to be. Everybody has friends in the end and making more is great.

That said. We all know how the Poke RPC has its ups, & its downs. Sometimes both happen in one day. LOL. There is always room for growth though, & Ditto believes that everyone can work together to make that happen. Is there anything you would like to see change in the community?

Everything in life will come with ups and downs, it’s just how things go. We can all work through things however. If something bad happens there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. As a community it is great we can all work on whatever needs addressing. I understand some people rather turn a blind eye depending upon the situation. We all should work on what makes us comfortable. Nonetheless, if I could change one thing I’d change anon hate. Argh. That’s one thing that gets under my skin. We, as a community, should be open to criticism and praise alike and nobody should need to harass another person anonymously. If someone has a disagreement then they should tell the person. Only that way can they work on the issue. But then again there is needless anon hate without true purpose behind it and that makes me sad. But nobody is perfect and sometimes people will rear their ugly side. Yet when anon hate has popped up it has been utterly overwhelming to see everybody support each other with kindness!

Ditto wonders, do you think anon hate may… slow down, or go away, if it was ignored instead of responded to when received? Most times, the people that feel the need to do hurtful things to others is for response. The attention received whether it is good or bad.

I think it’s highly dependent upon the situation. As someone who has received hate in the past (not on Tumblr mind you) I found that even ignoring people doesn’t work. Yet every case is different. Some do it for response, some do it to just get under someone’s skin. We can’t tell which however. If, say, it is needless hate then to ignore it would be the best option, even reporting it to Tumblr’s staff. But if in the situation something needs defending like a misconception then it could be a good idea to clear the air. Keyword could though. I’ve learned that people will get ideas into their mind and battle for it rather than accepting what is truth. In those cases a good air clearing is good and then to ignore any further.... Jabbing could be best. But if people feel the need to respond they should have the freedom to, as well as the freedom to ignore it.

Is there anything you’d like to pass on to those in the RPC that receive anon hate? Maybe a word of advice, or just something supportive to remember if it ever happens?

Well, as long as someone isn’t breaking any rules, doing something bad OOC or whatever- Actually I was going to say they should keep going and doing their thing. And yet I feel the need to mention that all people make mistakes in their lives. Anon hate is a bad way to go. The person on the receiving end of a message is a person too. They have feelings and thoughts and a life also. If you ever receive anon hate then just remember that there’s someone sending it and perhaps they don’t realize their mistake. That isn’t to say it’s justified. Just that people do indeed forget there are real people involved. … I think I word things bad! I mean… Anon hate is wrong, end of. But it is so easy to forget that real people are sat to read it. If you ever get anon hate then it is best to ignore it. That spark could evolve into a full blown fire and make you worse off. Hm, I forgot my train of thought but in the end we all need less hate and to just enjoy ourselves. People tend to send hate from bad experiences with the person or disagreements if right or wrong on either side but words are just words on a screen. They can say all they want to you but you are you. You are a person who deserves a life and love and no mere text on a monitor - Or phone screen! - can ever truly harm you.

Ditto thinks you did a fine job. We all take time to find words in our own ways, & no one has the perfect ones all the time. So please do not worry about wording things. It takes some practice sometimes, when you’re put on the spot !! 

Ditto would like to wrap up with something uplifting & super positive. After your time here in the Poke RPC, what are some of your favorite memories? Things that make you stick around, or just enjoy seeing go on? Give Ditto a little insight ( & the RPC too ) on what makes you happy to be here.

I have a vast array of good memories. Mainly ones of that first move of saying hello to someone or just that first interaction. Then again you’re asking someone with a bad memory! I truly just enjoy seeing people having a good time, enjoying their time here. When people are comfortable enough to do crack threads, that’s something that makes me smile. For instance the RPC could have been super strict and look down upon anything not considered serious and yet there everybody is just having fun! I enjoy watching people get along all in all. When new relations are formed, plots explored, the crack-like threads that ensue. Dash commentary is always a favourite. It shows someone isn’t afraid to get involved. I like it when people aren’t afraid. As I said, we’re all humans with lives and just watching people have fun makes me smile, even if I’m not involved. And of course, being involved in things makes me happy too, to just be included :D

A big Thank You !! to Jason for allowing Ditto to take some of their time for this interview. 

Ditto hopes everyone has a good Monday !! 

See you next week for the next Community Interview. ♡

[icannotreadcursive]

Cats 2019, Dir. Tom Hooper

Overall Quality ⭐️1/5

Entertainment Value ⭐️1/5

Story ⭐️1/5

Visuals and Craft ⭐️⭐️2/5

There is so much potential for artistic and cinematic greatness in a modern, high budget film adaptation of Andrew Lloyd Webber's beloved, though admittedly peculiar, musical Cats. Tom Hooper's attempt squanders every drop of that potential. I expected it to be bad, just based on the trailer. I was prepared for it to be an unmitigated disaster. Somehow it managed to be worse that I ever imagined. It is the worst movie I have ever seen.

Cats is a very weird musical—among theatre folk it's pretty strictly a you love it or you hate it show, with some people falling in a third camp where it's not really their cup of tea and they're really not fans, but they can't help but acknowledge that the show is high quality theatre, regardless of how kitschy and odd it is.  There are a lot of people, myself included, though, who love this musical. They are a built in audience of thousands, possibly millions, and they are who this movie should have been made for. The filmmakers' first mistake among many was that instead of making a Cats movie for the people who love Cats as it is, they tried to make a Cats movie for the people who don't get it and don't like it. That was an incredibly stupid decision. You're never going to bring those people around, it's a waste of time and resources to try, and the most damning thing is that all the baffling changes the filmmakers made to the musical and its story to try and make it more palatable to those who don't like the show as it exists, only serve to alienate the diehard Cats fans who should have been their strongest supporters.

Every problem in Tom Hooper's Cats comes down to gross misunderstanding of the source material and what people enjoy about it, and a shocking degree of disrespect for the show and its characters.  I can comfortably call myself something of an expert on Cats in the theatre—I've seen several productions, been in one, written academic papers about the show, and the book of poetry upon which its based, Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats by T.S. Eliot, sits on the shelf about ten feet from me as I type this review. I do not expect anyone to have the same intensity of interest or depth of understanding for Cats as I do; it wouldn't be reasonable. But I do expect anyone making a film adaptation of anything to put effort and serious thought into their project, and to care for and appreciate the source material they're working with. No one in decision making positions on this film seems to have done that. I wouldn't be surprised if I learned that neither Tom Hooper nor screenwriter Lee Hall had ever even seen the show.

Where even to begin with all the bizarre and terrible choices that went into this dumpster fire of a film?  This is going to take a while; there's a lot bad filmaking to break down on several levels.

Broad strokes, the movie completely misunderstands what the plot of the stage show actually is, then proceeds to shoehorn in new and unnecessary scenes in what I can only imagine is an attempt to make the plot make more sense. This fails spectacularly, since they're wrong in the first place about what the plot is, thus they succeed only in destroying the actual story of the show, muddying the overcomplicated and misguided narrative they've hamhandedly cobbled together, and interrupt the natural flow of what is supposed to be a sung-through musical such that the entire thing drags on like a last hour math class on Friday before school break.  This is worsened by the fact that the film stops dead in the middle of musical numbers several times for the sake of uninspired, usually offensive, and extraneous gags.

To be clear, the plot of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats, as spelled out fairly explicitly by Munkustrap early in the show, is that every year, one night on the full moon, all the members of a tribe of cats called the Jellicles get together to have a big party called the Jellicle Ball, at the end of which their leader, Old Deuteronomy, selects one member of the tribe who has lived a full life and can now be reborn. Over the course of the Ball, several prominent members of the tribe get songs sung about them.  The general vibe is very much big family reunion where your uncles, siblings, grandparents, and cousins tell stories about what they've been up to since you last saw them, or about how things were back in their day, depending.

The plot of Tom Hooper's Cats is that every year, one night on the full moon, a bunch of cats get together, allegedly to have a party called the Jellicle Ball, even though most of the movie they seem to be more or less aimlessly wandering the same two or three streets, and over the course of the party some of them sing songs about themselves as part of a competition to try to convince their leader, Old Deuteronomy, that they are the one she should pick to be reborn so they can come back and be “who they really want to be.” This year, it just so happens that a completely unrelated cat has been abandoned in the exact back ally where the Jellicles are hanging out before the Ball. Oh, and this year this one other cat, Macavity, has decided to kidnap all of the other cats that are competing to be chosen to be reborn, so he'll be the only contestant left and Old Deuteronomy will have to pick him.

The idea that the cats with individual songs about them are competing to be chosen to be reborn is a pretty common misunderstanding of the show, but it's one that doesn't hold up to much scrutiny.  For one thing, several of the individual songs take place before Old Deuteronomy arrives at the Ball, so the songs clearly are not being presented to Deuteronomy for judgment. For another, most of the characters who have individual songs come across as quite young, only one (Gus) is elderly, and if you pay any attention to the lyrics of their songs, these cats are loving their lives. It makes no sense that they would want to die and give up the lives they are still living to their fullest. Clearly no one involved in this movie bothered to take even two seconds to think that through. As for the idea that the chosen cat comes back as “who they really want to be,” I have no idea where the filmmakers got that.

The central themes of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Cats are identity, community, and dignity. The film kind of, sort of keeps the theme of identity, at least as far as they kept in most of the song “The Naming of Cats,” which is about identity, sense of self, and the difference between how one is seen by others and how one sees oneself. They omit roughly half the song.

The theme of community is mostly lost, and what little of it remains is twisted strangely by the decision to make Victoria an outsider. In the stage show, all the cats are Jellicles, they are tribe, a family, and they are proud of it. Grizabella is ostracized because she left a long time ago and, it seems, abandoned the tribe. So, now that she's old and lonely and wants to come home, they don't want her back. The emotional climax of the show is when, after the iconic lament of lost youth and righteous demand to be respected as an individual that is “Memory,” Victoria reaches out and touches Grizabella, accepting her back into the tribe and recognizing her as a fellow with the first feline contact Grizabella has had the entire show. This moment is robbed entirely of its power in Tom Hooper's film, largely because all of Grizabella's agency has been taken from her and given to Victoria. Instead of Grizabella stepping up for herself and asserting that she is still a part of this community and deserves to be treated with respect, Victoria physically escorts her in and instructs her to sing. Bear in mind that in the context of the film, Victoria is not a member of the tribe, she's just been inexplicably allowed to tag along, and thus is in no position to be the one accepting Grizabella back.

When it comes to dignity, Grizabella suffers as well. Not only is she stripped of her agency, but “Memory” is turned into a melodramatic self-pitying mess. Bad directoral choices remove every bit of strength and self esteem Grizabella has, especially during that song, which is an unforgivable waste of Jennifer Hudson. Almost every other character is treated as badly, or worse.

Macavity is taken from a truly frightening and threatening—but sexy—figure of mystery and demoted to pathetic, desperate cartoon villain that I think was supposed to be funny. He wasn't funny. This was a waste of Idris Elba, an excellent actor who could have brought refreshing and terrifying depth to what is an often neglected character.

Rum Tum Tugger does not have his usual badboy rockstar jerk with a heart of gold persona, he's just an egotistical asshole.

Grizabella, Macavity, and Tugger are the only characters in the film who visually read as POC through all the CG. They are all pathetic, unlikable, or both. Intentional or not, that feels really racist.

Bombalurina loses her entire character. Instead of a lovable rogue, member of the tribe who knows a questionable amount about Macavity, which gives her her own air of mystery, she's reduced to a flat, weirdly sexualized henchman. This may in part be due to Taylor Swift being too expensive to give more screen time, so they couldn't allow the character to breathe. If that's the case, they should not have cast Taylor Swift—she's not a bad choice for the role, but she is not worth destroying the character for. She certainly hasn't helped the film so much as break even on its budget.

Gus the Theatre Cat is played by Sir Ian McKellen, who is probably the best actor alive on the planet for that role, they could not have cast anyone better, and yet they waste him as well. Gus is old, Gus is physically and mentally feeble, but—on stage—the tribe still love and respect him. In the film, he's framed as pitiable, even laughable.  The ageism isn't as overt as it could have been, but it is sickening.

Bustopher Jones (James Corden) and Jennyanydots (Rebel Wilson) are treated worst of all. Both characters are usually portrayed as on the heavy side. Bustopher is directly described in his song as “remarkably fat,” and Jennyanydots tends matronly by theatre tradition. Both characters are unambiguously described as very proper and clean freaks. The filmmakers elected to ignore this characterization in favor of making them both crude, messy, food obsessed slobs, which is shockingly fatphobic.

The only characters who come out more or less unscathed are Old Deuteronomy and Munkustrap. I personally do not agree with the casting of Dame Judy Dench as Old Deuteronomy, the gender flip strikes me as unnecessary and a cheap grab at woke points, but I love Dame Judy and she is a fantastic actor. She brings the grace and poise the role requires and embodies the character as well as anyone could in the middle of such a mess. For his part, Robbie Fairchild as Munkustrap benefits from neglect. The filmakers don't seem to have given Munkustrap much thought or much direction—the role is unchanged from the stage show, except, maybe in that the film doesn't allow him to be as central a character, since it's so obsessively focused on Victoria. Fairchild himself clearly studied Munkustraps in other productions. He feels like the same character, even in how he moves, while still making the role his own.

Several characters are simply deleted. Jemima is awkwardly combined with Victoria, who keeps getting other characters' agency and purpose bestowed upon her, yet isn't allowed to have her crowning moment of awesome in the White Cat Dance to herself. Demeter supposedly exists in the film, played by Daniela Norman, but gets left out of her main musical number so that Taylor Swift can hog it. Jellylorum is omitted entirely, which leaves Gus seeming both isolated and full of himself.

The visual effects are awful. Trying to make the cats look “realistic” was a horrible choice, and poorly executed. The faces are all far too human, and everyone looks uncomfortably naked.  The ears and tails aren't an inherently bad idea, but the tails are too long and move too much and just wind up being creepy. Frequently, characters' feet do not look like they're in contact with the floor—Gollum in Lord of the Rings was better rendered and incorporated eighteen years ago. On the subject of feet, some cats have shoes, all of which look somehow wrong, and those that are barefoot have extremely unsettling hybrids of human feet and cat paws. Once, Victoria seems to dance en pointe barefoot on those mutant toes, which illicited in me a visceral body horror. Much of the character design is just baffling. Victoria, whose defining physical characteristic is that she is the one white cat in the tribe, is not a white cat. She has spots now for some reason. Jennyanydots takes off her skin to reveal bedazzled fur, hot pants, and a halter top underneath. Skimbleshanks looks like a rejected member of the Village People. I can't tell if Deuteronomy's fur is supposed to be her fur or a coat.

The cats are inconsistent in size with relation to the world around them, and that world is inconsistent is seeming like it's for humans or for cats played by humans.

The music from the show is great, and should have been a redeeming quality in the film, but they managed to screw that up too. Almost every song has the life drained out of it, which is not the fault of the actors, all of whom I know from their previous work to be strong enough performers to carry their roles, if only they had been directed well. I've already discussed how “Memory” was ruined. “Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer” is unrecognizable, the tune and many lyrics are changed. Despite the 1930s-ish setting, several songs have been pop-ified or hiphop-ified seemingly at random. There are weird lyric changes throughout, often taking the form of altered verb tense, that serve no discernible purpose. The film is apparently allergic to group musical numbers, so sections that are usually sung in groups get split up one line at a time, which does not work, and all the cats that have individual songs sing about themselves rather than their peers singing about them, which makes them all come across as self centered and narcissistic.

Cats is a musical usually marked by having a huge among of excellent dancing. The dancing here is all awkward and often unsettling. Additionally, the language of movement companies of actors performing cats usually exhibit that lets them read as feline is entirely lacking. Robbie Fairchild is the only one who seems to try at all. To his credit, he succeeds.

The best we can hope for this film is that it quickly fades of public memory. To the cast, I hope they at least had fun making fools of themselves. To T.S. Eliot, I'm sorry this happened. To Andrew Lloyd Webber, how did you let this happen? To Tom Hooper, your movie is bad and you should feel bad.

The worst thing about this unredeemable disaster of a film is the handful of times you can just catch a glimpse through all the bad decisions and worse CGI of how good it might have been.

[shiningtorrance-moved]

Alright let’s go through my thoughts on Doctor Sleep and what I will and won’t be including in my portrayal of Dan Part 1. (there will be spoilers for The Shining and Doctor Sleep so if you want to avoid spoilers just don’t read this)

Thoughts on the movie

-First and foremost, I’m going to save my thoughts on Dan and Dan-related things for part 2, where I’ll talk about how this affects my writing of him. Don’t think I’m ignoring him.

-DO NOT LET THIS BECOME SUCH A BOX OFFICE FLOP PLEASE GUYS IT’S BARELY BEEN OUT TWO WEEKS WE CAN’T LET THIS FLOP IT DESERVES BETTER

-When I saw Rose in the trailers and thought she’d be hot and powerful I WAS NOT PREPARED for her in the movie. Rebecca Ferguson is fabulous and give so much energy and charisma in her scenes and is drop-dead gorgeous while doing it

-Kyliegh Curran is a great Abra and can hold her own against the adult actors despite being so young, and her scenes with Rose are great because both actresses are bringing it and working off of each other and having a whole lot of fun doing it

-when I saw it with a friend there were nine of us total in the theater. That’s mostly because we saw it on a Tuesday afternoon, and it was actually nice because we reacted to things a lot more openly. That being said, DO NOT LET THIS FLOP GUYS GO SEE IT PLEASE

-Emily Alyn Lind is great, and if you’re worried about the sex scene between Rose and Andi happening, it isn’t. Andi’s fifteen in this, and the closest they get to anything in that vein is Andi telling Rose she’s the most beautiful woman she’s seen, and when Rose gives her steam their faces are close to each other. To be fair, whenever someone takes steam they act the same way, so it’s not some weird thing that only happens with Andi. But she was great bc she was so creepy and composed and ready to throw hands with anyone and everyone.

-Zahn McClarnon as Crow Daddy. Hot. Damn. I wasn’t expecting him to be as awesome as he was. He was calm, collected, intimidating, and his scenes with Rose were great because you can just tell how much they care about each other. It should be noted that he’s actually Native American (more specifically, Hunkpapa Latoka on his mother’s side; his dad’s Irish) and acts in Westworld (he plays Akecheta). Another thing that should be noted is that two years ago he had a brain injury that took him out of acting for a while, but he’s recovered! All in all, he’s a pretty cool guy who is a great Crow

-I do wish they actually showed Rose and Crow’s relationship because really all they did was she kisses his neck once and they spend time together a lot and he calls her “Rosie”. They do keep her screaming “You killed my crow”, but I do wish we saw them doing a little bit more couple stuff. Mainly because I thought they were cute in the book.

-WHERE WERE THE MURDER LESBIANS I WANTED THE MURDER LESBIANS WE DID NOT GET MURDER LESBIANS ALL WE GOT WAS MURDER LADIES I WANTED MURDER LESBIANS

-Unfortunately, Rose being bi wasn’t in the movie, but her vibes were definitely not straight ones

-The score was very close to the Shining score, but I’m not mad about it because I love the Shining score, and they used the music effectively

-There is body horror in the film. The murder of Bradley Trevor is shown, and there’s blood and him screaming and crying. It’s mostly her stabbing his leg then cutting to him screaming, and then the end where he asks her to kill him and she does, and he’s covered in blood and bleeding from the mouth. In the scene where Rose enters Abra’s head, Rose’s hand gets stuck in a file cabinet and she pulls it out slowly and you see the skin coming off of her hand. It’s about thirty seconds, but you see it and it’s gross. After that scene is over, her hand is still cut up and is very messed up for a lot of the rest of the film. The last  scene with any kind of body horror is during the climax, where Dan attempts to kill her with an axe and she digs the small end in his leg before digging her hingers into it. Some blood spurts out, but it only happens two or three times in quick succession, so it’s small. 

-David is stabbed in the chest offscreen, and all you see is his body with a knife sticking out of him, but there’s a lot of blood surrounding him. If you don’t like seeing dead bodies you won’t like that.

-When people get shot blood does shoot out of them, but it’s minimal and rarely forms a large splatter or anything.

-Billy commits suicide by shooting himself under the jaw. All that’s shown is him putting it under his chin, then it cuts to Dan trying to get to him before hearing the bang and seeing some blood. But there’s very little left to the imagination and it’s pretty disturbing.

-The way they showed cycling out was well done

-There’s a lot of practical effects and not that much CGI. In general the CGI was good. I mean, sometimes it looks a bit goofy (but try showing me a movie where a special effect doesn’t look goofy) but it’s really in scenes that are surreal and supernatural so it works a bit more.

-Really the only actor that they recast from The Shining that was truly off-putting was Jack, but that was mostly because Jack Nicholson has such a unique face and it’s hard to make someone look like him, let alone make someone look like him without having a weird uncanny valley thing.

-The characters that are recast don’t have a lot of screen time in the movie, and the one character that shows up a lot is Dick. Who is, fun fact, played by Carl Lumbly, who played John Parker in Buckaroo Bonzai. If you don’t think you’ll like the recast actors, they have the most screen time in the beginning and at the climax, but it’s heaviest in the beginning because it’s with child Danny.

-The kid they got to play little Danny is so adorable I love him

-Fun fact! Danny Lloyd aka the actor for Danny in the Shining movie, had a cameo! In the baseball game he’s the person who says “Watch out for number nineteen”

-The only thing that I didn’t like was that Billy and David died. I understand why they did it and like what they were going for, but I still didn’t like it.

-Billy is a true ride-or-die and he’s a great character and I’m hopping on the “Billy and Dan are dating” train because I CAN AND YOU CAN’T STOP ME

-David being a good dad and having a good relationship with his daughter and him not trusting Dan being totally okay and never used against him gives me life

-I was disappointed that when ghost Deenie came it wasn’t to warn Dan but to let him know they recently died, but hot damn that scene was freaky.

-Tbh Dan’s guilt about Deenie and Tommy was underused and could’ve been a bit more.

-DICK SAYS KA IS A WHEEL I REPEAT DICK SAYS KA IS A WHEEL

-I can’t stress enough how many times I bit my tongue to stop any Bi Panic(TM) noises from escaping because every scene Rose and Crow are in I was DEHYDRATED

-When we saw the first Overlook flashback, everyone in the theater was making various kinds of approving noises, e.g. a couple of people went “ooh” when we see Danny riding on the carpet, and my friend and I gasped when Danny’s tricycle went from carpet to wood floor because it was the exact same sound it made in the Shining

-THE FUCKING OVERLOOK SETS WERE FABULOUS

-THE ATTENTION TO DETAIL IS STUNNING

-IT LOOKED LIKE THE SHINING OVERLOOK SETS IF THEY HAD BEEN LEFT IN A DAMP CELLAR

-THE OVERLOOK SETS ARE JUST AWESOME

-When Dan and Abra were driving to the Overlook and the camera panned over to the hotel, everyone in the audience literally sat straight up and stayed that way for the rest of the climax. Except my friend and I, but that was because we both leaned forward, but we still stayed that way the entire time.

-Once again, THE SETS WERE GREAT

-I liked how the final. showdown with Rose went. I liked it a lot better than the book, actually (fight me). It was emotional and great and I feel it gave the characters a good conclusion to their arcs.

-There are like five of the True versus the forty in the book, and it’s a lot nicer.

-Abra says “Barry the Chunk” but he’s just called Barry and the implication is that he’s a large broad-shouldered man instead of what it was in the book

-Azzie is a good cat and deserves the world, although I thought I heard them say “She” which is a weird change. Provided that it’s real and wasn’t me mishearing them.

-Ewan McGregor sings at one point.

-Danny is a precious baby angel child and I love him

-John Dalton is more of a bit part than in the book, which works a lot better for this film.

-I wish we got more of the weird things Abra did as a child instead of just the spoons

-When Rose sees the elevator of blood she’s weirded out but then gets this look on her face like “I can dig it” and it’s honestly pretty funny

-I know that there’s no way this would’ve happened in the film because it’s honestly unnecessary and would’ve ruined the tension of the climax and couldn’t have happened due to character locations, but I really wanted Rose to walk around the hallways and see the bear guy and just go “wtf”. It would’ve been hilarious. I know that can’t happen, but it’s just a funny image.

-They didn’t have the tampon line and I’m a bit disappointed but also that’s fair

-They didn’t have the plot twist where Dan actually is Abra’s uncle, which was a good decision from a movie standpoint.

All in all, it was a good movie that I’m looking forward to seeing again, and I’ll go more in-depth about Dan and what I thought about him in part 2.

GO SEE THE MOVIE

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

A Place To Call Home, Ch 3.

Fandom: Rosewell, New Mexico.

Summary: A canon divergent take on Roswell, New Mexico, and the relationships between Isobel, Noah, and Rosa; later parts will shift the focus to Michael and Alex, as well as Michael and Noah. What is it like to share a body with another alien? Can broken trust be mended? Do the ends really justify the means?

Rating: M.

Tags: Canon divergence, minor character death, not really character death, body sharing, polyamory, hurt/comfort, addiction problems, sickfic, revenge, fix it, friends to enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies to lovers, Noah is complicated, cw: dubious age stuff for a little bit considering Nasedo/Noah is who-the-hell-knows how old.

Word Count: 2413

Rosa Ortecho was a hurricane.

She lived every moment as her last.  Her smile was pure light, and she was every single inch the sort of  person Nasedo could see Isobel falling head over heels for, especially  since Rosa had dumped her junkie boyfriend and gone clean in March. Of  course Nasedo had been doubtful at first. Rosa was human. Still. Rosa  loved astrology and music, dancing and poetry. She was an artist, but  the kind of artist with a fire in their soul. Rosa loved hard, lived  hard, hated hard. Everything about her was power, fast and intense and  exhilarating. It was impossible not to adore her.

Max was in love  with Rosa's sister, Liz, so of course he always went to the Crashdown  Cafe where Liz and Rosa both worked. And because Max went, Isobel went,  too. Rosa, with her wide, dark eyes and deep laugh, had grown fond of  Isobel. That much was clear. She'd sneak Isobel free fries. They'd share  a milkshake that had been made a little wrong. They would look up funny  videos on Isobel's phone, and play music on the cafe's jukebox while  Max and Liz were distracted elsewhere. It was good to see Isobel laugh,  after everything she had been through. She deserved to be happy, and it  made sense that Rosa's kind-hearted, wild spirit would bring Isobel that  happiness.

What Nasedo hadn't anticipated was how much he would  find himself feeling affection towards the human, too. Nasedo pretended  that the emotions belonged to Isobel, and Isobel alone. It was easier  that way. Besides, Isobel was under the terrible stress known as 'senior  year'; between Isobel trying to deal with her own internalized  homophobia and school, it was all Nasedo could do to keep her held  together. He couldn't take the time to look too closely at his own  feelings or bother Isobel with them. Isobel's health was all that  mattered.

At least, that was until a Friday night as the Crashdown.

Isobel never admitted that she went there to see Rosa. She didn't admit it that night, either. "I just need to relax," she complained. "There's only half the year left, and I've been studying for like, three days straight."

Nasedo  withdrew, as he always did when Isobel wanted time to herself. The  nerve-searing pain was easier to deal with, when he knew that he would  be escaping it again soon enough. Sooner than he expected, in fact. It  hadn't been very long when he was snapped back to Isobel, waking up in a  daze; the transition was usually slower, smoother. What had happened  that has caused Isobel to panic so much?

"Isobel? Are you okay?"

Rosa. Nasedo blinked, scrambling to recover. "Sorry, Rosa. I'm a total space case today."

"It's  okay." Rosa frowned. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear,  shifting her gaze away. "Uhm, if you don't want to go to the movies,  it's okay. I just thought that maybe... Maybe we'd have fun."

What  would Isobel want? He knew Isobel was falling for Rosa. He also was  certain Isobel would never go on her own. But, well, Nasedo wanted to  go. What harm would come from a movie? "Sure," he replied with as  charming of a smile as he could muster. Rosa's eyes fluttered. "I'd love  to go. Text me with the info?"

Rosa snatched Isobel's phone and  entered her contact information, the frown on her face replaced by a  sunny grin. "Cool. It's a date."

Their eyes met, and Rosa's grin  turned shy. Nasedo smiled back, his heart racing as he left the cafe and  headed home. It was a bad idea. He knew it was a bad idea. And yet, he  couldn't stop himself from feeling a flicker of joy. That was, until he  got home and Isobel returned, pacing in their room as she took the body  from him.

"Why did you do that?" she groaned. "I can't believe you."

"I thought you'd be pleased."

"I kind of am, yeah. I don't know. Things are complicated."

"She likes you and you like her. What's complicated about that?"

Isobel stopped, taking a deep breath and curling her arms around herself. "Besides Roswell being a fishbowl full of jerks? I... I like you, too."

"I would hope so. We share a body."

"Nasedo."

He  paused at the strain in her voice. The meaning of her words became  clear, and he felt almost queasy. No, no, he wasn't good enough for her.  He'd been in stasis for almost a hundred years total, by human years,  and was practically a damn rotting corpse on top of it. "Isobel..."

"I love you. You don't have to say it to me, but I love you."

The  word made him wince. She was so young, and full of so much hope and  promise. He couldn't do that to her. He would never be able to hold her,  to take care of her the way a real, living, whole person could. Like  Rosa could. "I will always protect you," he answered, his voice gentle. "I will always be here for you."

Isobel  said nothing. Thankfully, a text came through right then, the metallic  chime saving them. He looked at it through her eyes, intrigued. Pirate Radio, 9pm showing tomorrow. Sound good?

"It's your choice, Isobel."

Isobel fiddled with the phone. "You like her, too. Don't you?"

Nasedo  didn't answer. He didn't know how, especially after Isobel's  confession. He cared for them both, in their own unique ways. How to  explain that? But in the end, he didn't really have to; Isobel was  connected to his mind and thoughts, as he was connected to hers, and he  felt the moment she accepted the strange situation they were in. A tiny,  wry smile tugged at her lips as she opened the text.

Sounds fun. I'll meet you there.

A few minutes later, another chime. Great! Goodnight! <3

Nasedo  stayed quiet as Isobel went about her bedtime routine. He knew it by  heart. He knew her favorite products, the order she used them in, and  the exact number of uses left in each bottle before she would need new  ones. He knew how hard she was working to accept the little mole by her  nose, because it was part of her and she refused to take a knife to her  body to please silly beauty standards. He knew the story behind every  scar on her body, like the curved burn mark by her pinky finger she got  when she was seven, newly adopted and ignorant of what an oven was and  the fact that heat would hurt her. Her homework, in their bedroom, would  be stacked just so and color coded and triple checked for any errors.  The outfit she planned to wear the next day would be folded neatly over  the back of the desk chair. Their bedroom window would be open exactly  two inches, to let in the cool nighttime air.

Favorite things,  dislikes, habits. The way she'd smooth her hair when she was anxious.  Each and every aspect of Isobel's life, he had memorized. Each, he found  more and more endearing as the days passed. Was that... love? Was that  what love was, in the end? It wasn't the same excited, nervous feeling  Isobel experienced when she thought about seeing Rosa. It wasn't the  passionate fireworks that were in all of the human movies, books, and  songs. No. It was quieter, calmer. They shared a connection that they  would never share with anyone else, and that was... special. Precious.

Thankfully,  Isobel didn't comment on his thoughts. She tuned them out, giving him  privacy to mull in peace. Not that it did much good. They fell into a  restless sleep, and spent the next day on edge. Isobel was refined,  intelligent, elegant, proud, orderly. Nasedo was supposed to be the  dauntless one. Regardless, even he found himself starting to get nervous  as 9pm drew closer. He still had no idea what he was doing, but at  least he and Isobel were in the same boat.

"If our parents find out..." she muttered as she adjusted her hair in the mirror. If she kept messing about, they'd be late. "God. Are we really doing this?"

Nasedo  shook his head and gently took control of the body, only long enough to  steer her out of the bathroom and towards the door. "They won't find out. People go to movies all the time."

Luckily,  Max had went with their parents to some country club thing. Disgusting.  Nasedo checked their outfit one last time before heading out; basic  black blouse, dark wash jeans, black boots. Perfect. They strutted down  to the movie theater, flashing a bright smile as they saw Rosa waiting  by the door. Rosa blushed as Isobel held the door for her; they paid for  the tickets, but went double dutch on the snacks. Nasedo watched from  his corner of the mind, fascinated. In the four years they had shared  bodies, Nasedo had never seen Isobel so... open. Carefree.

It was  when the movie let out that Isobel's bravado faded. They were walking  to the park, the streetlamps lighting up the night with a soft glow. "I  want to show you one of my favorite places," Rosa said, giving them a  mysterious look as she headed into the park. "C'mon."

Curious,  Nasedo followed, shifting to the front as Isobel hesitated. Maybe Isobel  cared about curfews and closing times, but he didn't; most human laws  were based in fear, anyways, not in common sense. Rosa led them to the  center of the park, to a gazebo. It was pretty, with lattice work along  the sides and shining white against the darkness. Rosa twirled in the  center.

"This is your favorite spot?" Nasedo asked. "Why?"

Rosa  leaned against one of the posts and shrugged. "I have a lot of favorite  places. Spots where it's quiet late at night. Places I can go to think.  I can just exist here for a while, you know?"

"I don't know. I hate being alone."

"I'm guessing you've never had an overbearing dad."

Nasedo thought back to the Evanses, and to his own family. "Not especially. My family is more of the seen-not-heard type."

"Maybe we should trade."

"You  wouldn't be any happier. They treat you like a disgrace if you use the  wrong fork at dinner, or can't name three pro golfers."

"Wow, I'd  fit right in." Rosa wrinkled her nose. They both laughed; Rosa sighed  after, digging around in her purse and pulling out a few pens. "My dad  means well, but sometimes it makes it hard to move on when he keeps  treating me like I'm broken."

Nasedo watched as Rosa took the pens to the gazebo post, a blank canvas for her bleeding soul. "What are you doing?"

"Mayhem, mischief, delinquent behavior. It's how I get my highs now."

"Can I try?"

Rosa arched an eyebrow. "You? Isobel Evans?"

"Maybe I'm sick of being the person everyone thinks I am."

"Yeah."  Rosa frowned, offering her pens. Nasedo picked the black one, turning  his eyes to his side of the post as Rosa spoke. Her voice was  increasingly bitter, upset, as she colored in her drawing. A rose,  covered in sharp thorns. "It's, like, a Roswell rite of passage. One  day, everybody in this town gets together and they, like, decide who you  are, and that's who you get to be. Forever. End of story. Doesn't  matter if you change or improve or figure out that you're not even who  you thought you were to begin with."

Nasedo began to sketch the  symbol of his homeworld. Three circles, connected in the middle and  forming a triangle. "And who are you?"

"I don't think I know that yet. Do you understand who you are?"

"Some. Less than I'd desire."

Pausing, Rosa leaned to glance over Nasedo's shoulder. "What is that?"

"Just something I've drawn since I was a kid."

Goosebumps  formed over Nasedo's arms as Rosa's breath moved along his neck. Isobel  sensed the flicker of distress from him, and moved to take control  again. In the nick of time, too. A cop car drove by, slow, forcing them  to scamper out of the park before they were caught. It was, Isobel would  later admit, a thrill. Enough of a thrill that she finally seemed to  get over her shyness, happily chatting about the movie as they walked  towards Rosa's home. Everything was fine until they got one street away.

"You  don't have to come with me the rest of the way," Rosa said as she  stopped underneath some trees, standing safe in the shadows. "I mean.  Aren't you afraid that somebody's gonna see us?"

"If I'm being  honest? Yeah, but that has nothing to do with you. My parents would  freak out if they knew I went out on a date with a girl."

"Was this a date?"

Isobel  stared at Rosa. Rosa didn't seem angry, or grossed out or anything.  More... tense, inquisitive. And, maybe, a little hopeful. That tiny  tinge of hope what what bolstered Isobel's courage. "Do you want it to  have been?"

"I think so. It's just... I've never done this  before. With a girl, I mean. And it's the first time I've liked someone  since I've been clean. I'm not sure I know what I'm doing."

"Would it make you feel any better if I said this was my first time, too?"

Rosa smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, it helps."

They  walked the rest of the way to the cafe, each lost in thought; Nasedo  kept his senses open, watching for trouble. The street was empty. They  were safe. When they got to the door, Rosa turned and wrapped Isobel in a  hug. Isobel froze for a split second, then hugged her back. "Goodnight,  Rosa."

"Goodnight, Isobel."

Slipping into the cafe, Rosa  locked the door behind her and headed in. She paused, turning and  glancing at Isobel over her shoulder. She smiled again, and gave them a  wave; Isobel and Nasedo both felt their shared heart beat faster. Then  she was gone, vanishing into the diner and heading to the apartment  above it.

For a moment, Isobel didn't move, her hand pressing  against her chest as she sucked in a long, slow breath. Rosa's parting  smile was stuck in her head. Despite herself, she couldn't help but  smile, too. "We're in trouble, aren't we?"

"Yes," Nasedo replied, desire and dread mixing together in his chest. "We are."

[unlimitedskyeproductions]

100 Random Things About Daisuke Okana

1: goes by the name of Daisuke Okana 2: 21 years old 3: born on a Wednesday at 8:47 AM on February 29th 4: works as a detective 5: always has a way of fucking things up (and thus gained the nickname "Ohno" - used in the context of  "Oh no, Daisuke!") 6: generally pretty chill and laid back about shit 7: always the calm one 8: despite this he gets really excited way too easily over the stupidest, simplest shit 9: smooth-talking charmer who's also kind of an airhead 10: knows he has a tendency to fuck shit up so he always goes out of his way to do better - though he usually just fucks up even worse than before 11: really great stamina 12: doesn't really care for material stuff  at all, but when someone gives him a materialistic gift he cherishes that item like it's some kind of blessed artifact 13: spends about 10 hours a day just snacking or eating 14: generally whenever you see him there's a 70% chance he'll be eating something 15: sweet but very very clumsy 16: can't seem to get his shit together 17: the only kinds of music he ever listens to is either hardcore dubstep or really shitty pop music (Skrillex and Britney Spears come to mind) 18: lovES CATS 19: dedicated smoker and has been for 7 years 20: bisexual as hell 21: has a lot of really unusual quirks 22: his social cues are kinda fucked sometimes 23: he's either really great at reading people's emotions or absolutely hopeless at it, just depends on how his day's been so far 24: never goes anywhere without his lucky penny tucked safely into his coat pocket 25: he's a super sweet guy and he absolutely Can Not take it when people are upset with him because he feels so damn guilty about it 26: really fucking smart despite being such an airhead (university graduate with honors) 27: possibly might have some level of high-functioning autism but nobody's really sure 28: hates memes but at the same time is a total memelord 29: he has a really bad habit of using the office computer to send  funny cat videos to his coworkers 30: His Voice Is Like Fucking Silk 31: if he hears one of his favorite songs on the radio he'll immediately start singing along no matter where he is 32: instantly becomes Illiterate without his reading glasses 33: manscaping expert (seriously this guy's entire body is fucking  h a i r l e s s) 34: MASTER OF MARIOKART AND STREET FIGHTER 35: loves zombie horror movies (his favorite movie of all time is Shaun of the Dead) 36: afraid of thunderstorms and the dark (but shhhhhh that's a secret) 37: owns three cats - Mr. Pickles, Bowtie and Whiskey (whom was supposed to be named Whiskers but his phone changed it and it sort of stuck) 38: always seems to have exactly what you need at that exact moment - need a pair of scissors? he has em. need an extra sock? he has that too. also snacks 39: here's a secret - he has no idea how to tie a tie (all his ties are clip-ons) 40: here's another secret - he has a three year old daughter (the marriage didn't work out and now he's only allowed to see her three times a week because his ex is a spiteful bitch) 41: he's a very good daddy tho and his daughter practically worships him 42: can't cook whatsofuckingever 43: loves the wintertime because then he gets to run around in the snow 44: airheaded man-child 45: has a scar on his left shoulder from that one time he casually took a bullet 46: actually kind of artistic and doodles a lot 47: one time his neighbors called the cops on him because they heard him screaming and stuff getting broken and they thought he was being murdered - in reality a bat had flown in and he was having a very difficult time getting rid of it (the cops helped him out with that tho) 48: LOVES pulling stupid pranks on his coworkers, especially his partner 49: his partner kinda hates him apparently so he's always doing dumb shit to try and make him smile - often fails 50: collects socks (only the cool kinds with awesome patterns though) 51: he'll generally dress however you tell him to but you're in for one hell of a struggle if you tell him he can't wear his favorite coat and his favorite pair of fluorescent green glow in the dark socks 52: he'll get really aggressive when he's protecting his loved ones but most of the time he's just a gigantic marshmallow 53: he hates when he makes people upset with him and he'll pull out all the stops to get that person to forgive him 54: he watches a lot of cartoons with his daughter and long story short he's memorized every single fucking episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic (unintentionally, of course. dude ain't no brony.) 55: LOVES BOARD GAMES 56: super athletic and goes to the gym every night after work 57: will not hesitate to go on a 45 minute rant about why the best television show in history was Doctor Who 58: a bit of a slacker but dependable as fuck when it matters most 59: hates spiders 60: his hair is suuuuuuuuuper fluffy and soft 61: he'll let his daughter give him makeovers and dress him up like a princess 62: he doesn't mind this at all and the only thing that matters is seeing her smile 63: one time after a visit with his daughter he came to work he next day and completely forgot the fact he had a bunch of brightly colored hairpins in his hair and a Hello Kitty headband on (he was pretty chill about it when people told him this information) 64: his number one weakness is food 65: loves ramen noodles oh my fUCKING GOD he loves rame noodles 66: he loves getting praise and compliments from people because he knows he always messes things up so when he gets praised it makes him feel extra special 67: he'll usually let you say whatever you want to him and tease him to your heart's content - he generally just does not care if you're poking fun at him because he only wants to make people smile. and if you're at your happiest when you're making fun of him, well, he'll let it continue 68: 100% cannot function properly in his daily life without his morning cup of coffee (with whiskey added, obviously) 69: despite having an ex-wife and a kid he HAS actually been with dudes in the past (that's actually part of the reason why his wife left him) 70: WILL FUCKING NOT let people mistreat his loved ones 71: cancer survivor 72: generally lives off of McDonald's, rice, and ramen noodles 73: he'll go grocery shopping like a normal but usually not unless it's the day before his daughter gets dropped off (he's fine living off the bare minimum, but he'll be fucking DAMNED if he lets his daughter eat fucking ramen noodles for lunch) 74: he's actually SUPER ticklish 75: an expert at guns and shit 76: very knowledgeable about cheese????? for some weird reason????? 77: he can literally rant for two hours on all the types of cheese and how good or bad they are compare to others 78: recently he had to buy a new phone because he couldn't turn off the capslock and there was a whole week whrere he was just scREAMING AT HIS COWORKERS THROUGH TEXT and it was very awkward 79: he can and will fall asleep literally fucking anywhere 80: despite being a dedicated smoker he NEVER smokes around his daughter EVER 81: when he's not working a case he'll spend every second of his free time either working to get full custody of his daughter or trying to get his partner to open up more and be more sociable 82: loves singing and playing this prized  guitar and he'll often do karaoke night at the bar on weekends 83: not an alcoholic but he will go to his favorite bar at least three nights a week because he's super great friends with the bartender (who also happens to be his best friend from high school) 84: he won't get drunk on those nights and while he may have a drink or two, but generally he just drinks water since he's there to socialize, not get wasted 85: loves sweet foods and desserts 86: juuuuuuuuust a little bit vain 87: also sort of flirtatious 88: just a little bit tho 89: always VERY enthusiastic about the smallest things (you could tell him to meet you at a fancy hotel and he'd literally just stand in front of the room's door for three minutes just staring at the doorknob like "check out this awesome doorknob! it's so shiny! i can see my reflection in it!") 90: just a big gigantic soft fluffy marshmallow up to 98% of the time 91: he loves showering his loved ones in compliments and random yet VERY EXPENSIVE BORDERLINE BANKRUPTING gifts 92: approximately 6-something-ish feet in height 93: really bad at swimming 94: master at playing pool 95: LOVES hugs and physical affection 96: has a secret manga collection but nobody knows this 97: sort of a dork 98: loves stupid comedy movies and silly tv shows 99: cannot ever resist the opportunity to make a cheesy joke or a pun 100: only true anime fans will get this but generally his ENTIRE character is a cross between Kotetsu Kaburagi, Dazai Osamu and Lockon Stratos (yes, I know, I'm VERY original here)

[giranswife]

More Babies, More Chores

Summary: It’s bed time at the Shirogane household, and that means wrestling with the kids for their baths and last minute chores. There’s a little surprise in store for the couple, who had no idea that they’d have more bodies to attend to in the near future.

W: self-insert x canon, fluff

(( Note: This is the announcement we’ve all been waiting for! Coming soon on March 19th, is our sweet baby girl! We didn’t plan this, but we are super excited for our cutie pie. I might actually have her come a bit earlier in terms of fics, just because I can’t wait that long to write another XD but that is going to be her birthday! This fic also takes place in the summer, because that’s around the time whenever she was technically conceived. This is my self-insert shipped w a canon character. Also let me now if you’d like to be tagged in my next baby and pregnancy fics I make! ))

@self-shipping-angel

The beginning of summer is always an exciting time in our household. Especially with a three year old and two middle schoolers. It’s the time that Ariana and Sage are finishing up their schooling and about to be on their break. It was definitely a lot to handle, but after Hiroshi was born we got into a good groove of things. We were finally figuring out what worked good for us and what was great for the family.

It seemed like we had just such amazing kids. Hiroshi was definitely a bigger handful than Ariana was, and definitely a lot more playful than Sage at times. But he just has so much personality that I love so much. I want him to embrace that, especially since it’s mainly just about him being a happy baby.

He’s also using his words a lot, which warms my heart. Shiroe works with him constantly just like he did the twins, and I can just see how curious and fun loving of a child he’s going to be. Just by how he’s constantly looking at the world around him. I couldn’t imagine having such a full life before than I do right now with my babies.

Tonight was the first of many nights of the summer, which meant that none of the kids wanted to go to bed or get ready for bed. Ariana is the worst at this, just wanting to spend more time with me and her dad. But we still wanted to keep them on a schedule, especially with them still being young.

After dinner we let the twins watch a movie with us, and Hiroshi mainly played on the ground in front of me. Sometimes Ari would jump down to play with him or he’d climb up onto the couch to sit in my lap. It was pretty much a nice, calm time with the family. But once it was over it was time to get ready for bed.

Which is my favorite time of the day.

“Alright, who’s getting a bath first?” I asked, clapping my hands just as Shiroe turned back on the lights.

Ariana pushed out her bottom lip, standing up on the couch beside me.

“But Mooommmyyyy-”

“No buts, sweetie! It’s getting late, and you guys still need your baths!”

“Don’t worry, princess. We can watch two movies tomorrow, how does that sound?” Shiroe asked, ruffling her hair.

She giggled, fixing it and mumbling about him messing it up like she always does.

“Can we watch Rapunzel?”

“Of course, we can watch whatever you two want!”

She squealed happily, jumping down and zooming towards the bathroom before I could even ask Sage. Shouting behind her that she was going first and not to let anyone help her. She was getting to the point where she wanted to do just about everything on her own, unless it was having to do with anyone else. With us she is just super hyperactive and silly, which is what I love about my little lovebug.

Shiroe cracked the bathroom door behind her, making sure that if she needed us at all we would hear her.

“What about me?” Hiroshi asked, tugging on my pant leg that dangled from the side of the couch.

I felt like he wasn’t as worried about the bath as he was that Ariana was doing something that he wasn’t.

“You’ll get a bath after Sagey, baby,” I said, poking his nose, “He’s bigger so it’ll be faster. Do you want Mommy to bathe you or Daddy?”

“I want you.”

“Alright, well, looks like I’m on bath duty.”

I giggled, standing up and giving Shiroe a little smile.

My dead felt a little dizzy from standing up too fast, and I felt all of my dinner settle in my stomach. I knew it was only a matter of time before I got nauseous again. It was a good thing, though, because it reminded me of something that I needed to do tonight once the kids went to bed.

I was a little nervous to tell Shiroe what was going on, considering I wasn’t for sure. And I didn’t know how I was going to tell him until I knew for sure. It wasn’t that I thought he’d be upset, more like I just knew we weren’t expecting it.

“Oh, baby,” I said, holding my stomach as I felt it churn a bit, “I forgot to finish the laundry, could you do that for me while I get the kids ready for bed?”

“Sure thing.”

He gave me a kiss on the forehead, leaning down to kiss Hiro on the top of the head.

“There’s quite a bit, though. I tried to do a majority of it, but I forgot when I started dinner.”

“No worries, sweetheart. I’m happy to help.”

He walked passed the two of us to get my basket that I left in our bedroom, and I tidied up the living room and left Sage to play with Hiro. Hearing the two of them chatting together was always adorable. I knew that Sage, even at a young age, was worried that he wouldn’t be a good older brother. But he was the best.

Him and Ari both are the best siblings to Hiro. She tries to help me, even though she’s still small herself. If she wasn’t taking a bath she’d want to help me bathe Hiro or have them take a bath together.

Shiroe walked back into the living room with the basket, that was a lot more full than I expected. I felt a little bad that I had forgotten to finish a load, knowing that a family as big as ours wasn’t easy. But it was me who usually did the laundry before he came home, so I guess it was only fair.

“I’m sorry again, baby,” I mumbled.

He shook his head, “It’s fine, Ashley. Really.”

He chuckled a little, adding on at the end as he passed me.

“At least this is the biggest that it’s going to get.”

I pursed my lips.

I had to tell him. I couldn’t just let him say that and not make a comment.

Turning around, I gave a little giggle as my face turned red. It was really a big, dead give away. And if Shiroe was looking at me, then he would have noticed.

“Yeah, uhm… about that…” I mumbled, turning around to walk away.

Shiroe practically dropped the basket in his hands, fumbling a bit and I was rushing towards the bathroom to check on Ari. It was more about me just wanting to be cheeky than anything else. I really didn’t want to start it all this way, but it was better than waiting.

“Ashley… what does that mean?” He asked.

“Huh? What?” I asked, “Ari, baby, you okay?”

“Yes, Mommy. I’m almost done.”

“Ashley…. Ashley!”

Swallowing hard, I spun around and slowly shut the door behind me. Shiroe turned around to look at me, lifting his brows and I almost lost it. I gave him a little motion to my stomach, shrugging my shoulders a bit. Hopefully he would get the idea, and I almost giggled when I saw the color drain from his face.

We didn’t want to say anything around the kids, so Shiroe basically followed me around trying to get me to say something. I kept telling him I didn’t know about the bun in my oven and I had to check it later. Which was a really funny thing to do with him. He didn’t really say anything other than that I needed to tell him when I checked.

The rest of the time that I got the kids ready for bed it was tough. Because I was so anxious to finally take a test. I’ve been having similar symptoms to my other pregnancies, and I just knew that I was pregnant. But I needed to be sure.

Finally, Shiroe and I were done with the rest of the chores and we both laid the kids down for bed. Ariana and Sage were still sharing a room for now until we could move into a bigger place, which would hopefully be soon. Though, if we have another baby on the way… we’d need a bigger house than that. An actual house, but in all honesty my dream home would be enough.

I sat down on my bed after the bathes and the tuck ins, pregnancy test in hand. I was waiting patiently to look at it, nervous that it wouldn’t be what I wanted it to. Shiroe didn’t seem to talk much, but he squeezed my hand so tightly. It was very comforting, and I could tell he was just anxious as I was.

“I know we said that we weren’t going to have another…”

“We did, but… another wouldn’t be so bad.”

Shiroe smiled a bit, and I could see the happiness in his face. He was the exact same as me. We didn’t expect to have another child and we were fine with our kids now, but that didn’t mean we weren’t excited. We loved our kids and we always wanted a big family. It was just a lot bigger than we originally planned.

It just means more love.

“Alright… time’s up,” I mumbled.

I shoved the stick in his face, sheilding my eyes.

“Baby, you look at it first. I can’t do it.”

“I can’t look at it first!”

“Baby! Pleaaassseeeee??”

“Okay, okay.”

He took it from my hands and I waited with my hands covering my face.

Shiroe paused for several seconds, not saying a single word. It made me very nervous, and I could barely contain the shaking of my hands and entire body. I hated the silence, and I just wanted to know what was going on.

“Shiroe? What is it?”

I slowly uncovered my face, glancing over at him and meeting his eyes.

“Am I…”

He nodded, a smile forming on his face.

“We’re gonna have another baby?” I asked, my eyes watering a bit with tears.

“Yeah, sweetheart… Yeah, we are.”

I pressed my forehead against his, closing my eyes and pulling him closer into a hug.

Even though just a few short days ago we never dreamed of this, I was still more than happy. We were both going to have another baby together. Our family was just getting bigger, and we were the luckiest in the world in that moment.

[brendancorris]

My Top 10 Universal Horror Movies

My final top horror list for the year, here’s my top 10 (sort of) Universal Monsters list. This is exclusively just the Universal horror films from the silent era to the 50s. I won’t be including later ones like Jaws or anything, just the original Monsters collection, or this list would be too big and messy.

#10...

The third in the Frankenstein series, I don’t feel it’s as good as its two prequels, but a damn good film all around. While hardcore fans of the Monster may be let down by how little he appears in the movie, I feel the real star of the show is Ygor, played by Bela Lugosi. It’s an interesting turn for the series, but still perfectly captures that classic Universal atmosphere. I feel this is the last great Frankenstein film in the Universal library, ironically also being the last one with Karloff behind the Monster.

#9...

I know many people would probably rank The Mummy higher than this on their personal top 10 Universal lists, and it IS a great movie, but I’ve always felt it was a bit weaker than the other greats in the Universal series. Karloff is amazing as the resurrected haunting mummy, Imhotep, and the film is far smarter and better acted than the other unrelated Mummy “sequels” that followed (not to mention all remakes). I have a few problems with the movie, like the rehash of many of Dracula’s elements (some argue it’s the exact same story), the lack of much spooky scenery and settings, and they kill a dog. Come on. Why do movie directors always have to kill the dog?

#8...

My personal favorite film adaptation of the classic romance tragedy, Lon Cheney IS the Phantom. His look and mannerisms (all makeup done by Cheney himself) were the perfect defining version of the character, and all later iterations always felt a bit flat in comparison. This one doesn’t seem to be as widely renowned as all the post-Dracula films, as silent movies rarely get enough love, but it truly is one of the greats, and in my opinion, the first Universal film to kick off their style of gothic horror.

#7...

This one is not only important in that it practically set up an entire genre, but is also just a really great film. The most famous character is likely the mute, drunken butler played by Boris Karloff, but the whole cast is really good. The mood and visuals of the film make it perfect for a stormy, spooky night.

#6...

Lugosi and Karloff together in one film, the Black Cat, which is really not at all related to the Poe story beyond the title, is actually a surprisingly damn good film despite the little buzz about it these days. We see Lugosi in a heroic role, which was not common at that point (or ever, really) and he actually plays a really likable guy, despite being really bizarre at times. The acting from Lugosi and Karloff is some of their best, and there are a lot of really interesting and ambitious effects and scene transitions for its time. I won’t spoil the whole film, but I will say that the ending is the only thing in the movie I don’t really care for. It ends on a crappy, throw-away joke after some really heavy events just occurred, which to me weakens the mood and, considering what the main protagonists just witnessed/did, makes them seem pretty inconsiderate and messed up.

#5...

A direct sequel to the 1931 classic, Dracula’s Daughter, Countess Zaleska, is an extremely interesting vampire for her time since she is reluctant to give into her curse. She’s sympathetic and dreams of a release from her vampirism, much in contrast to the monstrous pride of her father. Not only do we want to see her get better and succeed, but her gradual failure to fight her urges make for a very unique and complex vampire film for its time.

#4...

Though this is sort of the odd man out in the Universal series, as we don’t see any old European castles, mansions or laboratories, this film is still a ton of fun and a worthy member of the Universal Monsters Collection. After decades of magical monsters terrorizing the screen, the 50s gave birth to more monsters of science. And when it comes to sci fi horror films of the 50s, few are better than “Black Lagoon”. Some may find the Gillman suit a bit too silly and tacky looking today, but if you enjoy the slight campiness, this movie is a great time. It’s sequel, Revenge of the Creature, however, I probably feel is the worst Universal horror film I’ve ever seen. Not TERRIBLE, but not NEARLY as good as its prequel.

#3...

The Invisible Man is a smart and cheeky flick. Not as horror based as many of the other Universal classics, but still enough so to fit right in. The acting is great, the special effects are mind-boggling for their time, and the movie can actually be damn funny, especially with how surprisingly not weirded out the people are by Griffin’s invisibility. The only two complaints I have is that I would have rather had there been no explanation that the drug is responsible for his madness, and think it would have been more powerful and interesting if his madness was the result of his living in terror and paranoia, as well as realizing the freedom of his new form. Also, I hate that loud old woman. She’s so freaking annoying. I guess James Whale found her really funny, because she plays the exact same kind of loud annoying comic relief role in Bride of Frankenstein.

#2...

Often considered possibly the best Universal Monster film, Bride of Frankenstein is definitely one of the greats. While it is probably the best written, acted, and directed of the Frankenstein series, I do personally think it is not AS enjoyable as the first one. That being said, though, it is extremely well made, and surprisingly smart, emotional, and even witty for a 1930s horror film. It clearly has more to say than your average classic horror flick, but still delivers all the eerie atmosphere and sets you expect from Universal.

#1...

And for my #1 space, I couldn’t decide. These are the generic standard for Universal Monsters. They’re the three everybody thinks of first. But I genuinely just love these three the most. I used to say The Wolfman was probably a bit higher for me than the other two simply because I LOVE those foggy woodland sets, but Dracula and Frankenstein are so damn good, it’s impossible for me to choose. If I had to pick one as my favorite, it might be Dracula. It just perfectly embodies everything I identify the Universal collection by. All three of these movies excel in that perfect gothic style of visuals and setting and just have great simple yet absolute classic monster stories. Not to mention, the actors playing the monsters are perfect. It doesn’t feel like Halloween season any year if I don’t watch these three.

[sleepykittypaws]

Same Time, Next Christmas

Original Air Date: December 5, 2019 (ABC) Where to Watch?: Freeform will re-air it several times this season, and it’s also available right now on Hulu, and ABC On Demand.

Same Time, Next Christmas is the first network made-for-TV Christmas movie since 2016’s Christmas of Many Colors on NBC. As such, it had a far larger budget than a Lifetime or Hallmark joint and spent about a month shooting at the Turtle Bay Resort on O’ahu, so expectations were fairly high.

The first thing my husband said when he saw this starred, “The Glee Girl,” also known as Lea Michele, is, “Does she sing?” And the answer is…Kinda? They play a couple of her Christmas songs over the opening and closing credits, and there’s a bit of caroling, where you can tell she’s struggling mightily to restrain her Broadway voice. (Or, not really trying at all, depending on how you feel about Lea Michele.)

The movie opens with flashback scenes of little kids battling for beach chairs in Hawaii. This continues for years, (minutes in the movie) where we see these two kids, and their families, frolic on the beach every holiday. We see family photographs, text messages and lots of flirting and even a kiss, plus all sorts of happy family moments, until they’re teens and one of the moms dies, so the yearly visits stop for Charles Michael Davis’ family. 

What we don’t see, EVER, are siblings. Nope. Not a mention. Not a background actor. Nothing. Not in the pictures. Not in the family moments. We even see Lea Michele’s entire family arrive at the hotel MULTIPLE TIMES, and it’s just the three of them. THESE SIBLINGS DO NOT EXIST. 

And, yet, in present day, when both families return to the resort, Davis' presumably for the first time since his on-screen mother’s, off-screen death, surprise…They each have a sibling we have never seen, nor even hinted at. Did these mysterious close-in-age sibs never interact with the families through all those years until now? C’mon, movie…Hire two other kid actors and don’t let them speak, but at least show them in the flashbacks. Fair warning: This never once stopped bugging me. 

Oh, and, Lea Michele’s brother is gay and interracially married with a child, solely I presume so that child can have a later interaction with Chad Michael Davis’ child who, unlike normal children of that age, can fit into the exact same swimsuit for three years running. (Not to be alarmist, but they should have her checked, because that lack of growth is abnormal.)

While I’m all for representation and am mostly in the something-is-better-than-nothing camp, but to say the magically appearing siblings get short shrift, would be implying this story had any shrift to give them. Other than his husband posing shirtless (and good for the gay brother, nice catch), there is even less for Michele’s brother to do in the story than Davis’ newfound sister, whose only role is to suck the joy from their father’s life with her nagging. Cool roles for your gay  and African-American woman characters, movie.

So, anyway, Lea Michele is an architect who wants to build beautiful municipal buildings and is sad that towns want to, you know, prioritize function and cost, thus saving taxpayer dollars, over her beautiful designs. When Davis suggests using steel, in lieu of glass, to save money and “still bring in light” and she thinks it’s a genius idea, I am concerned for both of them that they don’t know how transparency works, and think they should definitely not fall in love because their kids would be super pretty, but real dumb. 

Even dumber than their own parents who each apparently, oops, left one of their children home from a Hawaiian vacation for 13 years running. …Again, I never stopped thinking of this throughout the movie. Even all the pictures the hotel shares later, feature only young Lea and Chad. Were these siblings adopted by the families at age 25? If I were them I’d be real ticked I missed all those awesome Hawaiian vacations.

Speaking of, the other thing I never let go of is…How do these people afford these annual vacations to O’ahu at the busiest/most expensive time of the year, with each family member getting their own, large beachfront suite? Maybe Davis’ family, who it's pointed out a couple times has a five-store chain in Boston, could manage it, but how did Michele’s parents, portrayed as hippie, dippy homeopaths pull it off? Are they also bank robbers? Is that why their extra child wasn’t with them? Was he doing time for the family’s crimes?

And adult Davis apparently has a beachfront San Diego home and an endless supply of $250k sailboats at his disposal, anywhere in the world, so he’s clearly also, somehow, a multimillionaire, even though it’s implied his dad is disappointed in his career choices. So, yeah, this movie does not understand how life, money or families work. 

Despite that, the respective parents, minus dead mom who only gets one line, were the best part of the movie. Fun, funny and the bit about Michele’s parents not being able to keep their hands off each other was that comedy thing where they kept repeating it so many times it actually became funny.

Anywho, Chad and Lea reconnect over sailboat wine and private waterfall swimming. (They actually shot at Waimea Falls, closing one of the most popular hikes in the island to tourists for filming, which I bet a lot of people on their once-in-a-lifetime Hawaiian vacation appreciated.) But, oh noes, his not-quite-ex-wife wants him back and he leaves Lea in Hawaii to go to Vermont. Now, of course, you should never date a guy who willingly leaves Hawaii…Or, you know, ONE THAT IS STILL MARRIED AND TOLD YOU SO.

Then, in between that year and next, Davis gets unmarried, but never mentions it to love-of-his-life Lea, while Lea gets un-single, dating Bryan Greenberg, who we know is a bad guy because even though he shows up with thoughtful presents for her entire family and lets Davis’ daughter win the hotel’s Christmas race at the last minute, he’s also practical and loyal. And, yuck, who needs that nonsense? 

Side note, this whole movie was shot in Hawaii, including the “snow” scene set in Cleveland. Yep, not a lot of outdoor malls in Cleveland, and that stacked up ice was melting so fast, Michele and Greenberg are practically wading. I had to laugh.

Still, because she’s the worst, Lea’s character says yes when Bryan's asks her to marry him. (I can recall not one of these character names, and I watched this 12 hours ago.) And, even though she’s making googly eyes at Davis the whole time, she still spends a year apparently happily planning a wedding to Greenberg and is having it (dum, dum, dum) in Hawaii on Christmas…Just to rub it in Davis’ face I guess?

Instead of expressing her doubts way before this, she waits until after the rehearsal dinner, and after she’s gotten some assurances from Davis that he still wants her, and then dumps poor Greenberg, who really has very little to do in this movie besides compete in the hotel’s Reindeer Games, so hope he enjoyed his Hawaiian vacation.

And, as always happens in these movies, it’s portrayed as romantic when she runs after another guy (or, he runs after her, it’s hard to tell here), five minutes after calling off her wedding, which, again, was scheduled for tomorrow. Hot tip: That’s not romance, and Lea Michele’s character here continues to be the worst.

Cut to a year later, and they’re getting married on the beach. I presume a year after that they’re divorced and those family vacys get reaaalll awkward. 

Final Judgement: 2 Paws Up. Loved the Hawaiian scenery—I always want to go to there—the parents, and the sheen of a bigger budget can’t be denied, but there were just too many things I found frustrating about the story to fully enjoy this one.

[dat-town]

Bowling date

Characters: Jeongguk & You 

Genre: fluff fluff fluff (i was supposed to write something else but watching his vlive distracted me and apparently i haven’t written fluff with him before)

Words: 2422

Summary: Jungkook is trying to be cool but fails (because he’s too cute for his own good) featuring you trying to impress him with you non-existing bowling skills.

It definitely wasn’t the wisest idea to say yes to a bowling date. Yeah sure, your crush of more than two years finally asked you out and you would have been an idiot to turn him down… But bowling? You had absolutely no idea about it. Yet, you were too delighted to care about sweet little nothings like this when he walked up to you after art class and asked if you are free on Friday and if you liked bowling. Your response was immediate, you didn’t even think until it hit home: you will go bowling with Jeon freaking Jungkook, the class’ ace and most popular boy. And you will probably humiliate yourself while trying to act like you know how to play because your chatty mouth said that you loved bowling very much. Is it too late to turn back now? you wonder and your steps halt in the middle of a busy street in Hongdae.

Jungkook even offered to pick you up but your mother would probably get a heart attack if she saw you get on a motorbike with someone. In the end you agreed to meet at the bowling centrum which is now in front of you in all its glory. Based on its shiny, trendy colours alongside with the modern architecture it must be a popular place among high schoolers. Maybe it won’t be that bad. You fidget with the end of your shirt and brush a reckless lock behind your ear while texting Jungkook that you arrived. It makes your heart flutter that he answers right away: come in, i’m at the reception!

You take a huge breath trying to calm down your rattling heart and you walk up to the entrance on trembling legs. Just as you want to push the glass door, someone opens it wide for you and said someone welcomes you with a heart-warming smile.

“Hi! I’m glad you could make it.” Jungkook ushers you in while holding the door for you You thank his chivalry with a shy nod as you quickly make your way inside.

“This way,” he beckons you towards the playing area and you guess he’d already booked a lane for you.

While walking next to him, your breath hitches in your throat when you take a proper look at him. You rarely see him in anything but the school uniform and you are taken aback how good he really looks. Of course, he looks dashing in plain button-ups and the boring grey jacket you have at school but this is different. Good different. You feel your heart skip a beat at the sight of him in a simple black t-shirt tucked into his ripped jeans. His tan skin glows under the neon lights and a strand of dark fringe is peeking out from under his beanie. You aren’t even aware you’re staring until he catches you red-handed in the act. You look away bashfully but you’re not the only one blushing.

“Do you want anything to drink? I can grab us something while you change,” he offers like a gentleman but you panic for a moment and almost choke on your own saliva.

“Ch-change?”

You didn’t know bowling requires any special equipment or outfit. You decided on something nice but comfortable when you chose your white A-line skirt and a pretty light blue blouse. Maybe it’s not the most appropriate outfit for a date with sport activities but you wanted to leave a good impression. Your skirt reaches your knees anyway so you should be okay. Unless you were supposed to bring something to change into. Which you didn’t do because you had no idea.

“Your shoes,” Jungkook explains with a confused frown while pointing at your feet and you visibly gulp.

“Oh yeah…” you giggle nervously, a part of you already wishing the ground to swallow you up before you make an even bigger fool out of yourself. You add in a quiet mutter. “ How could I forget?”

You glance around quickly and feel relieved when you catch a glimpse of the shoe rental station in one corner. It would have been way too awkward to admit you don’t even have bowling shoes to begin with. You snap out of your momentary trance by his sweet voice calling your name and you look up at him. God, he’s so tall and handsome. Like a Greek statue sculpted by one of the finest artists of its era.

“So do you?”

“Do I what?” you blink at him still dazed. What did he ask again?

“Want a drink?” he flashes you his signature wide smile. Luckily he seems rather amused than annoyed by your slow-witted reactions. You clear your throat as you try to get a hold of yourself.

“Uh… yes, a Coke will be fine,” you manage to get out and sigh while you watch him turning his back to you, heading to the bar to get your drinks. You bury your face into your hands with a groan and overcome the urge to stamp your feet on the ground at your helplessness.

You’re already here, you shouldn’t screw up now, you remind yourself and walk over to the guy in the corner asking for a shoe in your size. It’s an understatement to say that you are dumbfounded by the poor design. It looks straight out of a 1960’ American movie but you don’t comment on it and thank the employee for his help. You quickly return to your and Jungkook’s booth and manage to put both shoes on successfully before the boy arrives with two bottles of Coke. Only then you notice that he wears the exact same kind of shoes as you. Even though you know probably everyone here has the same brand, you can’t help those nasty butterflies in your stomach at the thought of your couple look.

“Are you ready?” Jungkook turns to you excitedly and does some weird warming-up ritual with a few squats and hand gestures. You shyly imitate him and look at the long bowling lane in fear.

“Well, it’s been a while since I last played so I will be quite rusty,” you warn him trying to sound confident while praying that beginner’s luck will be on your side today.

“Me, too. I might have lost my touch,” Jungkook says with a reassuring smile and steps to the machine to start a new game. He stops at the step which requires the addition of players’ names in order. You’re about to tell him that he should go first when he speaks up: “Do you want me to go ahead?”

“Yes, please,” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. He must have sensed your insecurity but he doesn’t tease you about it. For that you can’t be grateful enough.

You take a sip of your drink while you watch Jungkook choosing from the neon coloured balls and settling with a purple one. You try not to stare too obviously as your gaze follows the graceful motion of his body as he releases the ball and knocks down eight pins under one try.

“Wow! It’s you out of practice? Then how are you at your best?” you exclaim in awe and clap eagerly when his second shot leaves the alley with no pins standing and apparently it’s a thing called spare.

Jungkook just shrugs shyly and then the machine signals that it’s your turn. Your blood turns cold as you walk up to the balls. You only hesitate a little before picking up a pretty pink that caught your eyes. However, it barely budges as you try to lift it.

“Woah,” you groan frustrated. You haven’t expected it to be so much heavier than a regular ball.

“Check out the weight first! I usually play with the one that weighs thirteen pounds,” Jungkook comes to your rescue again and you laugh at yourself when you realize you tried to lift up the ball that had the number 15 printed on it.

“I know, I just wanted to try it,” you lie and you hope it isn’t as transparent as you think so. You go for the nine pounds ball and fortunately it’s much lighter than the former one. You are confused because of the three holes in it but since you try to look totally in control, you experimentally stuck in random three of your fingers. You try to copy Jungkook’s fluid movements but you almost end up falling forward when you reach the line but forget to release the ball. When it eventually drops out of your hand, it goes straight into one of the two semi-cylindrical channels on both sides of the lane. It earns you zero points that’s called gutter according to the screen showing your results.

“Oops,” you try to mask your awkwardness by being funny about it and based on Jungkook’s light chuckle, it’s working.

“Don’t be disheartened. You just have to keep trying,” Jungkook encourages you when your second ball ends up in the gutter, too. He’s way too nice and considerate.

After a while your constant failures can’t be blamed on being out of practice. Especially because when you do hit a pin or two, you literally throw a celebration way too happy for somebody who has played this before. But you have Jungkook to cheer you on and he even offers to help you improve your technique and posture.

“Let me help you. You are too stiff,” he declares at one point probably having enough of watching your miserable attempts. He walks up behind you and put his hands gently on your waist. You freeze immediately, not knowing what to do. You can feel his warmth close to your own and his breath keeps hitting your neck.

“Here like this, you should bend your knees and lean a little forward while you give a push to your ball,” he explains in a serious tone demonstrating by guiding your arm back and forth while you stare straight ahead targeting the pins that stand stubbornly after you successfully knocked down three of them. “Make sure not to spin it by turning your wrist. Okay, so four small steps and then do it like I showed.”

He lets you go and you do as he advised. Your ball is rolling in a straight line unlike your previous ones and you can’t do anything but gape when you miraculously manage to hit all the remaining pins in one go.

“Oh my god!” you squeal loudly and before you could stop yourself, you jump into Jungkook’s arms. He tenses up for a second, clearly not expecting your sudden outburst but recovers smoothly by patting your back a few times before you step back hesitantly.

“Uh… sorry,” you offer lamely. It’s so freaking embarrassing, you can’t even look him in the eye.

“No-no, it’s okay,” Jungkook coughs and you’re a little late to realize he does it to mask his own shyness. It’s cute. Just like the way he acted all sweet the whole evening and it helps you loosen up a bit. Bowling is actually quite fun once you get the hang of it. You enjoy taking turns, cheering for each other and chatting about literally everything - school, art projects, songs, video games, yourselves - while you’re at it. In the end, your time runs out way too quickly.

“You didn’t even have to try so hard. You would have won anyway,” you comment while you’re packing preparing to leave after two hours of playing. It was harder than you imagined, it physically tired you but you’re still all hyped up.

“I just wanted to impress you,” Jungkook shrugs next to you and freezes when you stop mid-action to look at him. “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yeah, you did,” you answer with a nod and find yourself smiling. Happiness blossoms in your chest as he stares at you like a bunny caught in highlights. Maybe it’s time for you to be honest with him, too. Without sincerity, there’s really no point of this, no matter how much you’d like to get on his good side. You have watched him for two years from afar, you’ll be fine even if he decides he doesn’t like the real you.

“Jungkook... I have to tell you something…” you begin while biting your lip nervously and intertwining your fingers in front of you.

“Let me guess:  you have no idea how bowling works,” he cuts in with an evident smirk on his handsome face and you gape at him.

“You knew?”

“I figured it out pretty quickly but you were too cute trying so I didn’t say a word,” he seems genuine when he compliments you and you find yourself blushing even harder when he continues: “By the way, you are really pretty tonight. Not that you look bad on other days, you’re beautiful no matter what, I just… Ahh, I didn’t said it earlier because I wanted to seem cool but I guess I’m ruining it now...”

“Thanks,” you interrupt him before he could say more because you’re already so flustered, you feel on the verge of combusting. Nobody has ever told you anything like this before.

However, Jungkook still looks a little uncomfortable, the way he tucks his hands into his jeans’ pockets and looks anywhere but you gives him away.

“Didn’t I disappoint you, though? I know my reputation is more…” he pauses for a moment to search for the right word. “...interesting.”

Oh. A bad boy with a motorbike, they say but even since you took the same art class and you watched him working so diligently at every lesson, you knew it’s bullshit. You didn’t fall for the rumours about him but the boy with doe eyes.

“No, you are way more interesting. Perfect,” you blurt out before you could stop yourself but the beaming smile on his face worth it.

“So are you up for another date?”

“Absolutely!” you reply without hesitation but this time you are smarter than saying yes to anything. “But not bowling.”

Jungkook pouts.

“Why not?” he looks at you with pleading eyes and you nudge him for his childishness. “I’m kidding. I’m fine with whatever. Though, I’d be happy to properly teach you bowling one day.”

“Okay. One day,” you promise because you have a feeling you’ll have lots of time to go on dates in the future. And maybe someday, you’ll let him take you to a bowling date again.

[hermitknut]

ASOUE Netflix Show! *here there be spoilers*

Okay OH MY GOD.

There are SO MANY THINGS I want to talk about but I will do non-spoilery things before the cut first. 

1. TONE. THEY GOT IT RIGHT. The perfect blend of absurdist comedy, genuine sadness and sheer terror. THAT was probably the most important thing for me.

2. The changes/additions (mostly additions) to the original material all felt right, more like we were getting a different angle on the same events rather than “random car/train collision added in for funsies because we screwed up the plot” (can you tell I don’t like the movie)

3. I loved all the actors, absolutely brilliant, including the kids :D

4. The few clips from the trailer that I was uncertain about fitted perfectly in the actual context of the show, which was a relief!

Now for more detail and spoilers :D for all eight episodes! as well as all thirteen books, and some stuff from All the Wrong Questions! you have been warned!

5. Jacqueline. I love Jacqueline. She’s so much fun omg and I love that she threatens Olaf. And I will be totally okay with it if she’s just her own independent character. But I couldn’t help but think: what if she’s Kit Snicket using a false name. Just think about it - her scene with Olaf on the boat, particularly. Ahhhhhhhhh it’s so great :D

6. Gustav’s death I actually found really heartbreaking? Partly because just how the scene was played, but also partly because falling into a pond is a death that will resonate with anyone who’s read book twelve. Srsly.

7. ALL OF THE ATWQ REFERENCES. “When did you see her last?” was in there; several mentions of asking the wrong questions; and the two that absolutely killed me: Violet inadvertantly quoting Lemony via her mother (Get Scared Later) and the “They say in every library there is a single book that ... there is a single book that can answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.” because I am NEVER GOING TO BE OVER DASHIELL QWERTY OKAY.

8. The last song was amazing, I didn’t expect the characters to join in like that but it really worked; particularly Olaf singing, and oh god Violet’s voice almost breaking when she was singing alone practically made my heart stop. 

9. Neil Patrick Harris was genuinely terrifying, precisely as he should have been, as well as being funny and ridiculous. I’m trying not to make too many direct-to-movie comparisons, but he’s doing so much better than Carey I can’t even deal with it. 

10. Miserable Mill changes - having all employees be hypnotised was a stroke of genius; I guess it’s kind of implied in the book, maybe? But I’d never thought of it before at all, I’m really impressed with that change in particular. 

11. Speaking of Miserable Mill - nice to see Charles/Sir being more explicit than it was in the books, even if it still wasn’t said directly out loud. Also, Sir was done really well even though they didn’t have the smoke actually hiding his face (which would have been super difficult to do so I don’t mind)

12. I took a while to warm up to the opening song, liked it much better once I’d heard the song the troupe do in Olaf’s house about him (“I love your bank account”) because then I kind of got that it’s done almost like that? It’s so great.

13. Mr Poe: SPOT ON. Mr Poe’s office: AMAZING. Eleanora: WONDERFUL. The Poe children: EXCELLENT. Just generally great all-round. 

14. The bait and switch with the parents: I will be intrigued to see reactions to this from people who either didn’t read the books or really wanted this to be the Baudelaire parents, because I was really hoping it wasn’t them - hence by about episode three I’d already thought “hey, it’d be great if it turns out that they’re actually the Quagmire parents” and I am going to be so smug about that until the end of time. Hell of a bait-and-switch, and on that topic:

15. The Quagmires WE SAW THE QUAGMIRES and when they were sitting back to back in the school I just I can’t I need the next episode like air okay please give it to me 

16. Miserable Mill changes redux: I’m slightly meh on Orwell’s death and the lack of the sword/tooth fight. I don’t mind, because I understand the logic of the change, but on the other hand it’s a shame not to see them on screen (or, in the case of Orwell’s death, have depicted a little off-screen, a la the book).

17. CGI/baby Sunny - I thought this mostly worked pretty well? It meshed with the surreal nature of the series, and she’s pretty hard to do with a real baby. It was a little weird, but if any series can handle “a little weird” then this one can.

18. Larry at the Anxious Clown I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT LARRY WHY I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS. I HOPE LARRY IS OKAY. I SOMEHOW DOUBT IT BUT I HOPE LARRY IS OKAY.

19. Also Who Was He Talking About on the phone??? because he’s like “Alive???” and you’re obviously supposed to assume he’s talking about the Baudelaire parents but he can’t be. Lemony?

20. I’m paraphrasing because I don’t know the exact quote, but: 

“...with our fiercest, most formidable member -”

“Not Snicket???”

“Isn’t he dead?”

“Is he?”

OH MY GOD. Because WHICH SNICKET. You could literally have all three siblings referenced in this exchange if you liked, if “Not Snicket???” is in reference to Kit, “Isn’t he dead?” is in reference to Lemony and “Is he?” in reference to Jacque (in other words, Olaf assumes that the most formidable member is Kit - Kit is kind of a badass, come on - then when he hears “he” he revises his guess to Jacques)... I feel like this might actually not work but basically I love the ambiguity of the exchange.

21. The one bit of casting that didn’t work for me was Justice Strauss. It wasn’t that she wasn’t EXCELLENT. It’s just that I’ve seen Addams Family a few too many times and every time I heard her voice I just got this in my head:

...sorry, Joan Cusack, you’ll always be serial killer Debbie to me XD

Okay that’s all I’ve got right now. There will be more. There was SO MUCH AWESOME. I am so happy it’s unreal :D