#he only sees his lover ONCE during that nonsense and it wasn't even for that long because he was just passing through

[anarkhebringer]

If I thought Endobelles' fatherly fretting over Aurene during LWS4 was bad, the moment Braham is even vaguely within eyeshot only two words are gonna come out of his mouth before he storms over at Mach 10.

"MY BABY"

[kitasgloves]

Having thoughts about arranged marriage au! with FYODOR DOSTOEVSKY. He only married you to get associated with your family's wealth. Oh, but poor naive you, who always believed in fairy tales and love stories. You believed you could love a mysterious, cynical, and dark man like Fyodor.

How pathetically determined you were trying to win his affection. Fyodor thought you were some sort of idiot for not taking a hint that he wasn't interested in romance. You two didn't share a room even if you two were married. There were no tender sentiments or words from him. He told you he wasn't keen on physical affection, surprise gifts, planned dates, or celebrating anniversaries. He strictly told you to keep your distance and listen to everything he said. The fact that you were eager to obey him made him think of you as positively foolish.

However, you were persistent. You tried to cook him food and sneak him small gifts. You made attempts to sing him love songs and throw small parties. You were a true romantic who believed in the magic of love. You were eager to have your husband fall for you as you fell for him.

Unfortunately, Fyodor was at his breaking point. You were so damn annoying and stubborn that it was getting difficult to contain his frustration with you. He snaps at you during dinner when you've planned another extravagant surprise for him.

"Didn't I tell you to quit that? We are not lovers, [Name]. We are only spouses on paper. I do not care about your affection for me"

He couldn't forget that evening. The moment Fyodor spoke those words, the glimmer in your eyes died. He felt momentarily satisfied thinking that you have finally snapped out of it. The following days were a series of odd changes from you.

Mornings were...quiet, for once. You stopped babbling nonsense to him and only focused on cooking and cleaning up. You ceased the gifts and surprise parties. You even quit playing those annoying love songs on the radio that he despises so much. It seemed as though someone had taken the battery out of you.

At first, Fyodor was pleased but as the days progressed, he felt...uncomfortable. He wouldn't like to admit but he does notice a lot of things about you. Such as your habits, and how you seemed to forcefully change them despite your discomfort. With your sudden quietness, he could see how you were avoiding his gaze and biting your tongue when alone together. And lastly, the disappearance of your fondness for him.

He despised to think how he appreciated how you paid attention to his preferences. You always knew which tea he liked, what classical music was his favorite, and how you often looked out for his health considering he has anemia. Now, you grew distant and stopped bothering him for attention.

Has your foolish infatuation with him vanished? If so, why does his chest feel tight? Fyodor waited for you to revert to you how you used to be. Cheerful, loud, and affectionate. He expects you to surprise him with a gift. The house seemed so empty without your constant talking.

Have you given up on romance? Or was it all just a childish dream to you all along?

You don't understand why Fyodor has been staring at you lately. He's been hanging around the house so much that it's suspicious. You can feel him following you around in every room as if expecting something. You're done trying to woo him and you've come to accept the fact that your husband is a cruel man. So, you grant his wishes and stop pestering him. However, in return, he's begun to silently pester you.

When you wish to be alone, Fyodor's always trailing behind you. He was beginning to praise your cooking unlike before. He invites you to go to the library to read or listen to Tchaikovsky with him. Whenever you leave without his knowledge and then return home, Fyodor wants to know where you went.

The old you would've been over the moon from all the attention he was giving you, but you've grown to lose your positivity about this marriage.

"Fyodor?"

"Yes, [Name]?"

"I think we should have a divorce"

The sound of the teacup clattering against the saucer fills the air. You slid the divorce papers across the table towards your husband. Fyodor swallows and blinks, registers his spilled tea and the divorce papers you have produced. He collects his composure.

"Why?"

"I don't see the point of this marriage anymore"

Fyodor likes to convince himself that he's not affected. It should be a benefit or a good opportunity to find someone better to marry. Yes, he's indifferent to the sight of your glassy eyes and wobbling lip. He does not care about the misery you carry of being married to him. Oh, what an absolute liar he was.

"No"

"...What?"

"We are not getting a divorce, [Name]"

You watched with ache as Fyodor took the divorce papers and tore them into shreds in front of your face. Your blood felt hot. Was he purposely torturing you? He has to be. Fyodor is nothing but a selfish man. He revels in your misery of bearing his last name.

Truly, Fyodor was selfish. Why? He couldn't bear to see you go or remarry somebody else. He couldn't stand for you to find your perfect fairytale romance with someone else. Your fondness should only belong to him. Was he not your first romance? Was he not the first one to ever witness your tender eyes? Fyodor just couldn't fathom you gifting another your previous affections. Nobody seemed worthy enough but he.

"We will make this marriage work"

You looked at him from across the table with contempt. You fail to register the determined and passionate look in his eyes.

You will learn to adore me again, one way or another

I've been brainrotting about Fyodor who tries to win his spouse's love back realizing that they're falling out of love with him like pleaaaase he's so unhinged when he's in love

[kneelingshadowsalome]

Mother, I am hungry☹️ could you please give us a list of Kinks you think Konig would have to satisfy my hunger?🙏🏾

Hooooo boy!

CW: PURE FILTH below the cut, 18+ only. Light dom/sub, disciplinary/power play, exhibitionism, light bondage, domestic servitude, somnophilia, yandere!König killing someone who saw you naked, squirting, porn, M/F/F/F

Nature lover. The blowjob in the forest fantasy wasn't a lie! König thinks it would be romantic to make love to you in the middle of a dreamy glade, rut you against a sturdy tree, or have you take him in your mouth on some picturesque beach empty of other people.

He would also love to "warm himself" during a nice little wintertime walk, perhaps push you on your belly in the snow and tug your pants down just enough for him to slide inside your wet heat. The contrast between the frigid air and your warm, wet pussy drives him over the brink in mere minutes, and it's cute to watch you pout all the way back home – he knows his cum is spilling out of you, staining your underwear. He should give you a wash when you get back to turn that frown upside down ❤️

Powerplay. König loves to be in control. He would like to set a few rules for you and punish you when you "accidentally" break them. Those rules would be nonsensical and superficial – such as that you must greet him in nothing but your underwear when he comes home, ensure he always has clean clothes in the drawer, cook his favorite meal on Sundays, things like that. "You know what this means, Schatz," he mutters on your neck upon noticing you've broken his Sacred Rules, much to his delight – because the disciplinary action is that he's allowed to take you right then and there.

It's even better if you beg him not to punish you, explaining that you're tired or that you forgot. It's too bad, because only a safeword will save you. König is already getting his leaking cock out while you're on your knees, asking him to be merciful, just this once. "You know I have to do this… It's the only way you'll learn," he says before commanding you to either open that pretty mouth or turn around and bend over.

Squirting. He would be overjoyed if he got you to squirt. König has mainly watched amateur porn because regular porn is too emotionless and unnatural in his opinion. His preference is women doing solo – that's when he learned what squirting was and immediately vowed he would make his future wife squirt one day.

Exhibitionistic tendencies. This kind of ties in with the sex in nature fantasies: König would secretly love to get caught while having sex. He would particularly love it if the one catching you was a man, so that a "rivaling male" could see 1. how a woman is supposed to be fucked 2. how much you enjoy being fucked by him 3. what they can never have, i.e. gorgeous, whimpering, devastated you.

Yandere König would also kill the one who witnessed you two (and what's worse: witnessed you in a vulnerable, naked, quivering state), and I mean kill him right away, then come back to continue the session as if nothing happened 💀 In his mind, it's all very simple: he has to get rid of the one who laid eyes on you, then give you and himself an orgasm. In that order.

For him, there's nothing odd or wrong with striking a bloodied knife on your nightstand when he returns from his quest for blood. He'll insert his still hard cock inside you while speaking sweet nonsense in your ear, cooing how tight you are in a shaky, adrenaline-filled voice. You try to ignore the fact that he now has dried blood on his muscles, but it's no use. König reminds you of what he just did when your face distorts with tight pleasure. "No one is going to see you like this and live," his voice is almost a growl when you cum around that torturingly long cock.

Dominance and prisoner play. König would love to tie you up and use you as his personal fucktoy. And not just for one session… But for a solid, good 24 hours.

He wouldn't tie you too tight, just enough to prevent you from escaping the bed while he goes about his day, drinks a beer or two, comes to you every few hours to either make sweet, slow love to you… or fuck you with pent-up lust.

You being tied and helpless like that makes König attentive and tender one minute, and needy and greedy the next. You never know how it's going to be when he walks through that door, all you know is that he's going to pump you full of his cum.

He stays to watch it ooze out of you – it's actually one of the main events of this whole show because it means he'll have to fill you up again soon. He might also give himself a fap if you look too used and miserable or if you beg for mercy and whimper that you're sore. It's no problem: he's more than happy to cover your body with his seed. He's merciful like that.

When the day is done, you're a mess – inside and out – and he's fucked you stupid more times you can count, giving you so many orgasms that you feel soft in the head. What's fun though is that the man himself is in no better shape: you notice his legs are shaking when he finally comes to release you, looking like he has lost more than a few brain cells due to breaking the Guinness record of fucking you and himself senseless.

If you ever want to fulfill this fantasy, you will receive abundant aftercare. And I mean abundant. Bathing, cooing, pampering, treats, praise, and cuddles galore!

Mirrors. Fucking you in front of a mirror is like watching the best porn ever. Anything with a reflection will do, as long as König can watch you come undone, helpless and needy for his cock while he gets to display his strength. This man will probably install a mirror to your bedroom ceiling without asking your permission, but he prefers doing you from standing, prefers to do the lifting and the work.

Ballet dancer from behind and a stand & carry variation of Nelson are his favorite positions when using mirrors. All you have to do is enjoy... and obey when he tells you to watch what he's doing to you. "Look at that... You like being fucked like this?" he pants in your ear with strain and love while you both can see just how much you like it – his cock is practically glistening from how wet you are.

I'm sorry, were you busy? God forbid if you're wearing a dress or a skirt while making an important call. It doesn't matter if you're sitting: König will approach you, gets on his knees and then starts to kiss his way under your skirt.

Good luck trying to concentrate on that call when there's a horny giant forcing his head under your cute little dress. Soon he's sniffing at your cunt and tries to pull your underwear aside with his teeth. Try keeping your voice normal when he actually succeeds and you feel the first lick sweep over your pussy, flat tongued and hot.

You don't dare to fight him or tell him to stop in the middle of your serious, official and important call, which means you can feel the smiles on your poor wet heat. Of course König notices you're starting to sound like you're half crying... It only spurs him on!

You're a bit disoriented and don't register it at first that this hulking man is already climbing on top of you. It's rare for him to beg, but as he continues to dry hump you and then forces his cock between your thighs in search of your wet heat, you can hear him whisper: "Engel? Bitte... I have to put it in. Don't say no…"

Somnophilia kink. Yep, he has it, because the more helpless you are, the more "loving" he gets. König loves to watch you sleep, safe and secure there in his bed and in his arms. He caresses you like you're the Sleeping Beauty and if you happen to sleep naked (like he always does, this guy is a bit of a nudist at home), his fingers soon drift down to tease your clit, his hips start to slowly grind against your leg until you stir.

Gangbang fantasies where he's the one doing all the banging. One of his fantasies is to have multiple women all to himself. König would never seek to fulfill these fantasies in a committed relationship, but when he was lonely and only had his hand to keep him company, König used to dream he could have a row of women waiting for him when he returned from a mission 🙄

Usually three ladies who all want to worship and touch him and tell him how big he is, how heroic he is. He will command them to all fours, and they obey happily, ready and willing to be used. He does these ladies from behind, switching between them until everyone, including him, is on the brink of an orgasm. In these fantasies he always makes those women cum first. No one can say our King lacks manners! (How cute that he's so sure of himself... Would König even have the willpower to switch from one pussy to the next, not to talk of outlasting three women? I highly doubt that.)

Or how about these girls getting on their knees to suck his cock? In König's desperate, lonesome fantasies, these cute ladies love him so much that they start to fight over who gets to take him in their sweet wet mouth. They will eventually solve the fight by forming a queue – every woman gets half a minute with their King before changing. The long seconds when his cock is bouncing there in the cold air, devoid of a warm mouth, are torture. But he would stand strong!

Our brave soldier falls asleep while imagining how these purring, warm babes would cling to him for warmth and cuddles. Everyone is happy and pleased and he has been loved and worshiped thoroughly. In truth he just came in one minute, then tries to curl into a fetal position in a bed far too small for him. Cooling down from the day's highs, this Goliath is all alone, his last thought being that if he could get just one real woman to admire and love him and hug him before they go to sleep together, he would be the happiest man in the world.

[marysdonuts]

Tom and Jerry

school clown!Hoshi x top student!reader

Synopsis: After crossing the rubicon with your annoying classmate Hoshi "relationship" between the two of you improved. However you bump heads once more at Mingyu's game night party

Warnings: plot with smut, enemies to lovers, high IQ (f.) x low IQ (m.), slight angst, Mafia game at Mingyu's house, classmates, semi-public, banter, dirty talk, oral (f. receiving), brief mentions of other members, crack, Hoshi acting cray during the game, (no questionable fashion choices mentioned)

WC: 1.2K

Status: part 2 (ongoing), read part 1 here

masterlist / requests / taglist

Why should it be awkward after fucking your arch nemesis? Well, isn't that what all the books and movies want us to believe?

- The female lead got into dragged out moral battle with herself after giving in to the detestable male lead.. Making audience yawn. Questioning if this is who she really is, questioning God's intentions - ultimately running away never to return again. Revolutionary.

In reality things didn't have to be so black or white. There was no need to go thru the emotional rollercoaster of blaming it on your childhood trauma or turning it into religious guilt. Ultimately, we were put on this Earth to have fun. Why beat ourselves up for doing something that we actually enjoyed?

Living in the grey area had its perks.

Improved relationship with your desk-mate Hoshi was one of them. The steamy encounter in locker room visibly dissolving tension between two rivals.

You were in higher spirits than usual.

Well that was fun, didn't think he had it in him. Why was I acting like a bitch before? Guess I just needed the attitude fucked out of me. Kekekekekek

"What are you scheming down there, hm?" walking in Soonyoung saw you hunched over the desk cackling like an anime villain planning to take over the world.

"Wouldn't you like to know." pushing up non existent glasses reflecting the light for dramatic effect.

"I would love to know." towering over you

"Pfff, you wouldn't understand even if I told you!!" springing up the chair, sticking your tongue out at him

"See you at the game tonight~"you spiralled out the classroom in a way that resembled category 5 hurricane. Leaving Hoshi flabbergasted.

"Wasn't I supposed to be the crazy one?" rubbing his chin in disbelief, your wicked laugh echoed thru the halls

//

And exactly what game were you talking about?

Of course the quarterly Mafia get-together. You've been told that everybody gathers up in class president Mingyu's house once every three months. It's your first time attending.

Please, please, please give me a role! I can't stand being a boring citizen - eyes shut, you prayed as the host passed behind you. Tapping you on the shoulder.

"The mafia has been chosen."

silence

"The police officer has been chosen."

silence

"The doctor has been chosen."

//

You killed the doctor first. Something in Seungkwan's proud eyes gave him away. He liked to play the saviour and once again it got the best of him.

"Why am I always the one getting killed first?? Why do you hate me soo much" pouting, hands crossed on the chest

"That's what happens when people had enough of your shit. Bang, bang, bang!" Hoshi collapsed in front of Kwan, seemingly coughing up blood "better keep your head down next time.." clinging to Boo's ankle before theatrically releasing his final breath. Freezing on the floor.

"You! Shut the hell up!" kicking his foot, trying to free himself from Hoshi's iron claw

//

Citizens were dropping like flies. Only making the sinister look in your eyes grow bigger and bigger.

And so did Hoshi's craziness.

"it's MINGYU, HE'S THE MAFIA!!!" pointing at Mingyu, shivering in the corner, probably questioning why he invited this madman in the first place. He was voted off.

"Everyone, WAIT JUST LISTEN TO ME...!" human sized worm was now wriggling in Joshua's direction

With every nonsense spat from Hoshi's mouth, you could feel your braincells dying.

"MWAHAHA, YOU THOUGHT I WOULDN'T NOTICE THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYES, CHAN?? CAN'T FOOL ME!!!" backflipping to the opposite side of the room, attacking the youngest

Idiot. Can't fool you now, huh? We'll see 'bout that.

"What a big mouth you have over there, Kwon," raising to your feet, cackle of devil ready to deliver divine retributions "would be a shame if someone shut IT." you shot your thumb down making all the remaining civilians vote in unity. Crowd vailing.

Heh, so this is how it feels to be a roman emperor - sentencing slaves to their death for entertainment of the colosseum.

//

Not long after you were the sole survivor

"Mafia WON! Standing ovation for the lady!" clap clap clap host crowning you MVP of the game.

"Thank you, couldn't done it without you." palpable wink in direction of the fuming hamster, now seeking comfort between Mingyu's humongous man-titties. Once enemies now reunited in shared hardship

Misery loves company, doesn't it? Chuckling to yourself

Hoshi Kwon (19) left the mortal world behind right then and there - figuratively speaking of course. Utterly humiliated by you, again. He was supposed to SHINE! He was supposed to find the mafia! Finally got a role of policeman but every guess that he made tonight was incorrect

"You win. For now." darkness possessing his amicable face

Familiar knot taking shape in your stomach

//

DU! DU! DU!

Heavy knocks on the bathroom door

"Just a moment!" drying your hands

DU! DU! DU! DU! DU!

"Hey! I said I am coming..!" swinging the door open

"Oh? I wondered when you'd show up." smirk looming up your lips as Hoshi shoved you back inside

"Smart girl. Wanted to see me that badly?" there was nothing sweet about the way he closed the door shut

"At least one of us," shooting back "are you here to serve your sentence?" tracing finger on his lips

"Didn't you say somebody should shut my mouth? Then, sit on it."

Ah and there it was the residual craziness clouding his judgement. Ain't gonna argue with a dude that has big brown eyes. Whatever you say, beautiful.

You weren't wet yet but it wasn't hard to guess that in exactly two minutes you will be

"Hahah- what?" you were just joking, didn't expect to actually do it here. At house party? Is there a cliché more american? Neither of you were an american but you'd rather be caught dead than doing something so mainstream.

"Did I stutter? You always talk a big game in public but I want to see how brave you are now." hot breath already caught between your thighs, hungry kisses biting at your soft flesh making you whine. Guess they didn't call him tiger for nothing

"We are in Minguy's bathroom.." voice disappearing into thin air the moment his starving mouth made contact with your, now wet, private area

"And? didn't seem to mind the locker room last time" Hoshi's swirling tongue rolling over THE spot of your clit

"s-shut up, you idi- OOOOH" a cry hardly appropriate for friendly game night. The sensation making you drunk on his expert movements.

"Oh? I didn't know top students had such a dirty mouth" working harder and more relentlessly than before, the train of needy moans couldn't be stopped anymore.

And there you were. Once again with a good for nothing dude between your legs. Making you feel things nobody before him managed. How does he know exactly what you liked? Was it the environment? First the locker room now friend's house...A combination perhaps?

Taste of forbidden fruit is not easily forgotten,

but who doesn't love a good enemies to lovers trope?

To be continued

[kasagia]

❄️️Warm my heart pt. 1❄️️

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/ The Darkling x fem! heartrender! reader Summary: December. Everyone in the Little and Grand Palaces is excited about the upcoming holidays. Only the Black General seems rather... depressed. Like every year when these holidays are coming closer. Maybe this year, since you've been promoted to his second-in-command, you can make the general's holidays a little more enjoyable? And you're not doing it because you're in love with him and you want to see him finally careless happy... not even a little bit. Nonsense from me: A spontaneous Christmas mini-series. We'll see how it develops... I hope you will like it 🩵🖤 P.S. I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I don't know if there's any equivalent to our Christmas… let's just say there is and I'll try to find out to be sure😅 Word Count: 3k Taglist: @aoi-targaryen ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~

"Oh saints, I'm freezing here." Fedyor complains as he walks next to you through the snowdrifts.

"Don't be such a grump." you say, adjusting your black fur coat that protects your neck from the cold wind. You look at the sky. The clouds were swirling above you, and the snow was still falling. In moments like these, you kind of wish you were Inferni.

"Grumpy? We had been walking around, searching for this stag, the whole day. I start to doubt if that tracker can find it."

"That tracker had seen it." Mal's voice is coming behind you. You turn to see him helping Alina walk through the snow. "It had to go somewhere to await the snowstorm."

"We should do the same." you tremble as you hear General's right behind you. You feel his warm body and beating heart before he stands next to you. "It's getting worse with each hour. We should go back to camp." he says, looking at Ivan.

"Yes, sir." Ivan who came with him nods to him and looks at the rest.

All of you are following him. You see Zoya and the general talking to him about something in the front. Mal and Alina whisper something quietly to each other. The tracker looks distrustfully at the three Grishas in front of him. You decide to stay with Fedyor a little after them.

"Lovers' quarrel?" you ask him as you see him trying to stay as far away from Ivan as he can. He also has not looked at him even once since you all got together after hours of searching Morozova's stag.

"You can say that. I want to go on holiday with my family and take him with me. He refused... well, it's putting it mildly."

"He needs time. I'm sure he will gladly come with you to meet your cousins and siblings." you defend him.

You know very well that Ivan wasn't necessarily eager to leave the Little Palace. He rarely saw his family. Like you, he didn't have many... people in his family who accepted him as Grisha. Fedyor was lucky to have someone to write letters to and visit during the holidays. Ivan was also more conservative; he did not engage in closer relationships with people, except for his fiancé.

Just like someone else you know...—you think, staring at the back of the general's head.

Snowflakes fall on his black kefta, making it even harder for you to take your eyes off him. You stopped counting the number of times you just wanted to go up to him, run your hand through his hair, hug him while simultaneously hiding in his black kefta, or kiss those temptingly soft lips that gave orders to thousands of soldiers.

The beating of his heart has become wonderful music for you to work with since you somehow became his second-in-command and started to spend more time with him in the war room.

It also worsened your crush on him… but it was a sacrifice you could bear for the sake of Ravek and Grishas.

"I hope so. I haven't seen them for a year. I wanted to finally introduce Ivan to them. Especially after our engagement." he sighs sadly, staring blankly at the footprints in front of you. You look at him sympathetically. As you notice snowflakes gathering on his shoulder, you think of an idea to make him laugh and maybe feel a little better.

You stand for a moment and bend down to your shoe, pretending to try to tie it. Fedyor stops and waits for you, his eyes patrolling the area and the forest surrounding you. You weren't that far from the capital, but some of Drüskelle's unit could always show up. You take advantage of his moment of inattention, form a snowball, and throw it at him.

You laugh quietly as the snowball hits his back. Fedyor gives you a surprised look before smirking and accepting the challenge. You silently throw snowballs at each other from behind, trying to stay silent enough so that no one notices what you two are doing.

At one point, you dodge a snowball thrown by Fedyor, causing it to hit Alina. The Sun Summoner turns towards you and lets out a small huff of laughter as he sees the two of you covered in snow. He nudges Mal with his elbow, and soon the four of you are left far behind the others, throwing snowballs at each other.

You laugh as you form teams against each other. You and Fedyor do quite well against them... at least until, instead of throwing a snowball at Mal's face, you manage to hit General Kirigan, who seems to have noticed your absence and come back to find you.

You all freeze, watching the snow fall from his face onto the kefta. Beside him, Zoya tries her best not to burst out laughing. Ivan, on the other hand, gives the four of you an irritated, disbelieving look.

"Ten minutes… we can't let you out of our sight for ten minutes," Kirigan says, wiping his face with a handkerchief and brushing away the remaining snow from his face.

"Our apologies, General." Fedyor says, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his face straight.

"Whose genius idea was it?" he asks, hiding his handkerchief and brushing off the excess snow from his black coat. To no avail, judging by the snow still falling on you. But that didn't change the fact that he was as intimidating as he was in any setting.

You see Alina take a breath to take the blame, but you cut her off before she could. "My, sir. I wanted to lighten the mood. I apologise; it won't happen again. We won't delay our return."

Your remorseful look and tone of voice make him relax. His stern gaze softens, and you can practically hear Fedyor teasing you about it.

"Just don't get left behind." he says and turns on his heel, leading you all again back to the camp.

Zoya stares at you, surprised at how smoothly you managed to pull off something like insulting the general of the Second Army by throwing a snowball at his face. However, she quickly comes back to her senses and tries to catch up with the general to talk to him about something. Ivan, on the other hand, just shakes his head and wordlessly follows the Black General like his shadow.

"Seriously? If it were me, he'd tear me apart just by looking at me," Mal grumbles to himself.

"Don't worry so much. He would do it to anyone. He has a soft spot only for Y/N. Well, and maybe Alina, since she is one-of-a-kind." Fedyor says quietly and pats him on the back. Alina snickers and takes Mal's arm as they both follow the trail of the three Grishas. You roll your eyes at your dear friend's words.

"Stop it. It's ridiculous. Don't even insinuate something like that. With Zoya and Alina in the picture, I mean nothing more to him than a soldier, his second-in-command. At best, a friend."

"Sure. The beating of his heart every time you look at him is an obvious clue that this is the case. Besides, you've seen yourslef. You are the only one who can hit him with a snowball and stay safe and sound. He didn't even raise his voice at you. The two of you are so damn obvious and so damn stubborn that even if you ended up in bed together, you both would consider it an accident."

"Oh, shut up." he laughs, hitting me on the arm with his.

"What? Why do you think he made you stop your training as a healer and decide for you to be a heartrender instead of making you a main healer? You would have stuck in an infirmary far away from him. That way, he sees you often, plus you have black embroidery on your kefta." he says and winks suggestively. You huff in amusement, shaking your head.

"You are ridiculous. We work together. That's all. There's nothing more between us. At best, it's camaraderie. Besides, he can have anyone."

"But he wants you. Do you think he gives flowers to everyone on Women's Day? Or does he buy birthday gifts? Does he even remember about someone's birthday?" you blush, you feel your cheeks turn the bloody color of your kefta and it's not because of the cold.

"I remember him wishing Ivan a happy birthday." you mutter under your breath.

"Because he was standing next to us when I gave this idiot a gift." he says, obviously still angry at his fiancé.

"Give it up. Him and I—it's not going to happen. He's a womanizer. Zoya is not his first mistress. And I am definitely not his type or league."

"Well, now that you've brought it up... little birdie told me that he cut off all non-Army relations with her. And guess when? When you became his second-in-command. And guess who he pushes away, despite the fact that she's desperately trying to get back into his bed?"

"It does not matter. He probably has his eyes on Alina and wants to make a good impression."

Fedyor groans in annoyance at your response. Before you know it, you're back at camp, with no trace of the rest of your companions. The man next to you sighs in frustration and runs a hand through his hair.

"If you keep fighting it for so long and denying it, which makes no sense by the way, then yes. He'll find someone else. Take the opportunity before you regret it. Christmas is coming! Maybe some miracle will happen that will make you both see that you have to end together, because only saints can make the two of you see things together, you stubborn donkeys." he says and leaves you alone, going saints know where.

You sigh, walking back to your tent. However, before you strip off the layers of clothes that protect you from heat loss, you notice that you have no firewood. You go back to the forest and collect twigs and small logs of wood that you can use to light a fire at night.

You go back to camp, dragging a small wood sled behind you. You think about Fedyor's words and whether they might actually turn out to be true. You blush as you remember the countless late nights spent in the war room talking to the general about plans, reports, new recruits, or just drinking his kvass with him and talking about anything and everything. It's true, you were close... but would you be willing to jump in and risk everything—your entire career and the life you created in the Little Palace—to try to be more to him than just one of his soldiers? Especially when he could have had a Sun Summoner?

Lost in your thoughts, you don't notice familiar, dark shadows starting to swirl behind you. You scream in shock, both from the feeling of someone suddenly pulling you into his chest and from the fact that the skin on your neck and face meets the icy snow.

General Kirigan's laughter, the familiar scent of his cologne, and the warmth emanating from him calm you enough to realise that you are not in the arms of anyone dangerous. Well... if a shadow summoner could be considered such. But the coolness of the snow he rubs into your face and neck effectively shakes you from thoughts of him as you try to fight back.

He chuckles and holds you tighter with one hand as you kick and struggle in his arms.

“A good soldier knows when to surrender, Y/N.” he whispers into your ear, clearly amused. His silky tone of voice was as mischievous as it was slightly defiant and dangerous. "Shouldn't you have enough honour to obediently endure the punishment of your general?"

"Punishment? What for?" you ask as you manage to wipe the snow off your face enough to keep it from sticking in your mouth as you speak.

"Do you think I would let your little stunt get away with it? I wonder if you can still throw so accurately with snow in your kefta…" he says, slowly scooping up more snow and guiding his hand with it under your coat.

"NO!" you scream, amused and scared at the same time.

You use your powers to stun him for a moment and pull yourself out of his arms. You don't get very far, though. His shadows chase after you, and he keeps you tightly against his chest again. You struggle with him so much that you both fall screaming into a large snowdrift.

You land on top of him, blushing furiously as you realise this. The snow around you cools you a little, and you start to feel the cold seep into your bones despite everything.

"Armistice?" you ask him, your hand full of snow ready to attack.

He chuckles, amused, which only makes your smile widen. You had rarely seen him so… carefree. Especially now that he was so focused on finding Morozova's stag.

"For now. I will still look for my revenge." you whine, dissatisfied.

"It was only one snowball, Aleksander. I wasn't even aiming at you!" you protest. You squeak, surprised, as he switches, so now he is on top of you. A dangerous smile played on his face as he looked at you with a mischievous spark in his dark eyes.

"You think so?" he asks with a cheeky smirk, the hand holding the snow coming dangerously close to the buttoms of your kefta under your coat.

"All right, you won! Please don't. I'm freezing."

He frowns when he hears that you are cold. He lets go of the snow and wipes his hand on his coat before touching your cheek. He sighs, feeling how cold you are. He stands up first and helps you up, still watching you carefully.

"Let's go back to the camp. I wouldn't want my second-in-command to get sick because she decided to play in the snow" he says, and you blush slightly.

He only makes you redder by taking your hands in his and breathing warm air on them. You see the nostalgia in his eyes, and you can't help but ask him a question.

"What is it?"

"It's just... it's been so long since I did it. The last person I threw snowballs with was my sister. It feels like... centuries ago." he whispers thoughtfully, not letting go of your hands.

Unconsciously, he starts drawing patterns on your hands with his thumbs. You see him going back to his memories. How his eyes darken with sadness, even hurt. You don't know what must have happened to make him so depressed, but you feel the inner need to fight off all his worries just to see his smile again—the gleam of joy in those dark, hypnotising eyes.

"Well… maybe you can do it again? After all, the holidays are coming. You'll definitely want to visit her. Or she you." you say, choosing your words carefully. He didn't talk much about his family. Even his name was a big secret. And from your information, as long as it was good, you were the only one who knew it.

"It's a little more complicated." he says it gruffly and pulls away from you. You curse yourself in your mind, not even knowing what you did wrong. "Neither of us sees anything... special about it."

"You don't have a family meeting? Never?"

"We're not close. I don't remember when was the last time we got together. Not to mention something as insignificant and trivial as all this exchange of gifts, celebrations and prayers to the saints." he replies, pulling your sled of wood as you both walk back to camp.

You can tell by the tone of his voice that he doesn't want to talk about it anymore, so you change the subject and ask about the next steps in his plan to capture the deer, and he perks up a little more.

Little does General Kirigan know that you're half-listening to him, thinking about something entirely else. The distant look in his dark eyes when he talks about his family—that hidden longing for something he pretends not to want—tells you one thing.

You will make sure he feels different this year. You will do everything to replace his clearly unpleasant memories with harshness from his loved ones, memories he doesn't want to share with something better.

"We'll discuss the details in my tent tonight. I hope you don't get sick. We don't have time for any delays. We have to finally catch that damn stag by the end of the year at the latest. Although our only tracker who saw it will keep hanging around the Summoner Sun instead of tracking, I don't see it well." he says, and anyone else would find his words harsh and irritated, but you've long since learned that his eyes are the true reflection of his feelings and emotions.

The one thing he couldn't control. He gives you the rope of the sled, and before he leaves you, he ties his scarf around your neck, mumbling something about how you don't know how to pack the most necessary things for the mission.

You go back to your tent and light a fire. After a while, a fabricator comes in and hands you black leather gloves without saying a word. He's gone before he can see you smiling and blushing, realising WHO told him to make them for you.

You shake your head, trying to get past Fedyor's teasing words from the hours ago. It's just a friendly gesture. Nothing more.

But this is the moment when you make your final decision.

You will see the general again, as happy and carefree as he was a few moments ago. So relaxed and calm as he deserves to be, at least in this time of year...

Even if, along the way, your stupid heart had to completely and hopelessly fail for a man you could never have.

Thank you! 🩵🖤🩵🖤

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~

[nayushikisses]

ⵓ paradox live × your turn to die au notes masterpost . . .

-- of course paralive doesn't have enough angst, so why not put them in a death game ?? ^^ www

-- this isn't really developed yet , but i might as well track my thoughts for this here . . . please don't call me stupid for just having nonsensical thoughts here

-- first characters i'll be covering are shiki, ryu, kei, rokuta, nayuta, and itsuki ! and their relationships to each other throughout the story ! more will be added with time !! as i figure out where the story should be taken ... www

shiki / nayuta

shiki is the participant alongside nayuta nayuta and was paired with him during the first trial. they have the same trial as sara and joe with the lantern and the key, nayuta trusts shiki with the key and tells shiki to use it on himself because he trusts that shiki will be able to save both of them. except, shiki panics (sort of like kanna does) and frees himself but his emotions are running too fast for him to think correctly so he has to watch nayuta die/get crushed by the bed. this leaves him understandably shaken, so he passes out.

then shiki awakes with everyone else in the main room, and he's having a panic attack wwww as everyone struggles with their surroundings, but then things start getting in order once (placeholder) takes charge. (who in the cast would be a leader figure...)

shiki continues through the game. because, after the first trial ends, he's left alone and depressed, completely shut out from what's happening in a way after watching his best friend(lover?) die in front of him because of his mistake. so, for the first while during the equivalent of chap. 1, he's kind of like kanna in that he sticks back and is too overwhelmed and depressed to do anything. understandable ...

at the same time, Kanata is fiercely fighting to find nayuta. he and Kanata were "abducted" at the same time so he knows that he's there, but he hasn't seen him since before the first trial when they got separated, he's nowhere to be seen… when shiki first sees him in the room after the first trial and everyone meets for the first time, he panicked more and ran away from Kanata because he could tell he was related to nayuta/inferred that this was the Kanata he had heard so much about, but has been too terrified to say anything.. i mean, he's basically mute for a long while, so he hasn't told kanata how nayuta died. but then...

however, this i know will happen: some time into exploring, sort of like how they find alice, they'll find nayuta. except, nayuta wasn't hiding, he just comes back all of a sudden, saying he got lost or something or trapped in a room until they found him, and understandably shiki starts panicking again because WHAT IS NAYUTA DOING BACK HERE??!!?!?!? i thought i … let him die…

but as nayuta passes him by, just clipping his shoulder and not even looking at shiki for more than half a second, shiki realizes something is off… he calls out to nayuta, and cozmez turns to him all suspicious and everything. things get intense for a moment cause then Kanata accuses shiki of being with the bad guys for acting like he knows nayuta/recognizes him, shiki panics more and falls on his knees and starts panicking again, but then the "leader" (placeholder i mentioned earlier) of everyone helps calm things down.

of course, it's only a dummy of nayuta that's here, which explains why he doesn't remember shiki… the person who made the nayuta dummy wasn't aware of nayuta and shiki's relationship, so they didn't include that in its memory…

i'll talk more about ryu later, but he is introduced way back here... let's recap... shiki has been abducted, watched his best friend die and blamed himself for it, now seen him suddenly come back to life, and then has been completely ignored by him and is not remembered, all in mere hours...? shiki is under a lot of anguish right now... it'd be good if he had someone to help him get back up on his feet, so...

ryu / shiki

ryu is another participant !! do you remember how in the fate drama track, ryu talks about the older brother ("Brother") that helped him flee the facility, but died? i want to incoroporate that character into this story too: some person who ryu-kun knew beforehand, is who he got paired with in the first trial, and he dies as he let's ryu go/saves him, in a way.

that's a subject i need to develop more, but you get the idea... this will shape ryu's mindset into feeling afraid of bringing misfortune to those around him later on in the story, but that's a discussion for another time...

anyways, right from the get-go ryu and shiki are getting to know each other because once shiki first starts panicking in the room immediately following the first trial, someone else/another random particpant asks ryu to stay and watch shiki while the rest of the people explore, like how sara stayed to watch kanna...

at first, shiki is really averse to talking to anyone, and ryu's extraversion scares him... but let's say that like, saimon or someone else, at the very beginning of the story gives shiki the responsibility of looking after ryu at first, and then ryu just sticks with it the rest of the way...

shiki is uneasy at first, surprised at this stranger's ability to act upbeat in even this sort of situation, and he even has a brief thought "what if he is with the people who have abducted us..?" can you blame him, he's gone through so much already...

but, as the story progresses, the two form a really really strong bond, and shiki relies heavily on ryu in helping stabalize himself after everything that happened . the big shift is when nayuta comes back as a dummy before the first trial, and shiki feels even worse after that when he's not remembered ... but ryu stays with him since they've been searching the facilities together , and he gives shiki a few cryptid words of advice that get shiki starting to feel better and start to try and become less depressed and more resilient (like the scene from the gif above where ryu says "if you only look at the things you want to see, you're gonna miss everything. Ghosts are only scary because you can't see them properly.)

ryu becomes his rock , in a way , his motivation to stay strong .

some ways into the story the two are almost inseperable www because shiki is with him all the time .... let my ryushiki heart be happy here again .

you know how i mentioned that at first, shiki had the brief fear "what if this guy (ryu) is with the enemy..?" well, during the first or second main game, people start throwing suspicions at ryu. saying things like he's acting strange or something. and since it's the main game, shiki is feeling really nervous and sick again, he hasn't said anything since it started, and in general he hasn't spoken much with the others, but...

once people start saying that ryu is suspicious, shiki finally finds the courage to speak up in front of everyone with confidence. he tells everyone that ryu is trustworthy, tells everyone how ryu helped him perservere, etc...

everyone has seen how reclusive and shy shiki has been, so to see him speak up for the first time so confidently really sends the message to everyone that if shiki says ryu can be trusted, then he really can be trusted... and so their bond grows !! there is more to their relationship that will be continued in the later parts of the story, like how ryu feels about the nayuta situation with shiki, but that will be further below !!!

to be continued for them....

kei / rokuta

kei and rokuta were paired together during the first trial, because obviously they're siblings you know… except, somehow, during this trial, rokuta either hits his head or something happens to make him lose his memory of kei (maybe rationalize it with asunaro medical logic or something? www…). so, the two make it out alive together and wake up in the main room with everyone else. kei wakes up first, though, and of course his immediate thought is to rush over to rokuta and wake him up, but then rokuta is like "eh? who are you?" and before they can continue, everyone else starts forming together and talking so things are interrupted

now, i can't decide… should kei tell rokuta that he's his brother right away, or should he be afraid and not say anything until later on like during the first main game…? this is something i'm not sure of…

because 1. he could tell rokuta right away "i'm your brother", and he spends the duration of the story by rokuta's side... it would also help make sense with the "kei-chan" thing , like how in canon rokuta has trouble seeing the reality of kei actually being his brother at first.

or, 2. kei holds off from telling him, and watches over him from the background like a guardian angel, while rokuta becomes more close with itsuki, another participant ...?

and also, should kei or rokuta be the sacrifice in the first trial…? i'm not sure… see, there's different ways it can go...

possible option #1: rokuta

rokuta is the sacrifice for the first trial and he tries to act nonchalant about it because he doesn't want to worry kei-chan, since he's been so nice to him... in the event that i decide kei has already told rokuta he's his brother, he *really* doesn't want kei to worry, because he feels bad enough that he can't remember kei as his brother, so he doesn't want kei to find out he's the sacrifice and become even more distressed...

so, he tries to hide it and succeeds, somebody is voted off and then he's revealed as the sacrifice so he'll die too, and of course kei is really devastated...

their relationship would be sort of like joe and sara's, in a way.. this would have a scene similar to joe and sara's final scene and kei would be clicking the button like sara did. i feel like this path doesn't work as well cause i don't know what kei would do from here on out... losing his brother would make him lose all motivation... he'd be like sara, having hallucinations, but i can't see how he'd move on from that if he did lose rokuta ;;

possible option #2: kei

kei is the sacrifice and maybe he swaps cards with someone just to get it or something wwww... he's a christ figure you know, it'd make sense for him to die this way... i think. his plan is to escape with rokuta... he wants to get the sacrifice so he can get the most votes and then pick rokuta as the person to escape with.

would kei do that...? i don't know... at this point in time he doesn't know itsuki so there's some development he hasn't had yet... the only thing in his life at this point is his brother, so i think he'd want to do it...

if somone think it doesn't make sense for him to want, then i could just say he changes his mind on it once he starts to get to know itsuki and bond more with the others... he's less averse to letting them all die just for him and rokuta... i don't know...

anyways, kei still just wants the sacrifice card so he can guarantee rokuta's safety, so let's say he manages to get the sacrifice card, and so, kei dies during the first trial...

rokuta is still super sad, because kind of like how he has that scene playing the piano where the reality sets in that kei-chan really is his brother, during the main game he has this realization but it's too late... rokuta has to watch kei-chan die, even if kei is sadly smiling at the end... he's sad that rokuta has to stay in such a dangerous place, but he just wanted to have his last sight be rokuta alive, so he dies at least able to say that... and entrusts itsuki with taking care of rokuta in his abscence ;; for a reason yet to be established, itsuki has developed an intense trust for kei, and so itsuki becomes shouldered with the "responsibility" of caring for rokuta in the next part of the game, which is a whole thing to think about on its own later...

how would rokuta handle this...?

ryu / itsuki

i feel like ryu and itsuki would get paired together in their first trial because they were alter trigger kids together. maybe they don't learn this until like the story equivalent of ch. 3 or something, but eventually they figure out they have some common origin, and that's why they were paired together…

i need to figure out more of the specifics on this, because this will be a part of the bigger lore, but just know , ryu and itsuki (and rokuta) will be revealed to be connected in some way that has to do with why each person was chosen as a participant . (figure this out later asap, mallow... if anyone can help with the lore please feel free to say wwww)

ryu / shiki cont.

i've already said that either rokuta and kei will probably be one of the ones to die in the first main game , but i still need to figure out who gets the most votes and dies ... but other than that , i have some more notes on how ryu and shiki's relationship will develop more after the first main game

even though like i said earlier, ryu and shiki will bond and become close to each other throughout the story, shiki is still anxious and preoccupied thinking about nayuta and how he's somehow back. this is priority in shiki's mind, not ryu.

(it might sound otherwise with the way i'm writing things but that's just because i haven't gotten around to writing abt nayushiki yet.. and ryushiki ramblings come naturally to me too because i <3 them)

but anyways -- another thing that will be a part of the story is how later on after the first main game and as shiki and nayuta interact more/shiki starts trying to figure out why nayuta lost his memories, ryu will start to also care deeply about shiki

especially like how i said before, during the first main game, shiki pulled through and saved ryu from suspicions by validating ryu's innocence, that helped strengthen ryu and shiki's bond together, since ryu was surprised that shiki believed so strongly in him, even though they just met during this whole death game. it made ryu happy that shiki said during the first main game "ryu might act different, but he's not a bad person, i trust him..." etc.

and so... my absolute favorite thing to incorporate into any paralive scenario... unrequited ryushiki

and when i say that, it doesn't even necessarily have to be romantic if you don't want it to be. it's just, ryu forms an attachment to shiki. it's understandable, considering the fact that they're all literally trapped in a death game www ;;

so a part of the story i'd like to focus on as well is how ryu feels watching shiki. at the beginning, shiki was afraid and isolated from everyone, but eventually ryu helped encourage him to become more confident, prompting shiki to work harder with everyone at escaping and more specifically, trying to figure out how nayuta came back and what's going on with him because like i said, nayuta is still his "priority." they've known each other since before the death game, after all.

but ryu watches shiki become so focused on nayuta and everything, that, he feels the pain of unrequited "love." (quotation marks in case you don't want to think of it as romantic love or whatever !! >.<;;) shiki was the person who stood up for ryu during the main game and he cares about shiki, but instead ryu has to watch shiki put all his focus and attention onto nayuta... ryu's feelings for shiki are unrequited, but he has to ignore it because he knows that there's more to shiki and nayuta's situation than meets the eyes (especially after shiki confesses to ryu how nayuta actually died in the first trial.)

at the same time, you remember how in the fate drama track ryu mentions how he's afraid that "the people who are kind to him will only end up getting hurt?" ryu still feels that way about shiki, as well as saimon and the other particpants he's bonded with. especially after what happened in ryu's first trial, he still has that inner turmoil to deal with for a while. it comes to a peak during a scene later on that i've yet to write about ;;

to be continued !! ^^

[whosyourcreepyunclenow]

ETERNAL HANGOUT (the bug I suppose I should share)

if you're tired of goodbyes, try it

invite your friend(s) and go to the cable cars (the icons aren't visible during hangout, so it would be easier to tag the place in advance) wait one, get in, get out, then get in again. you'll see the option to use the cable car for $10, do it. and once more if you're not exited of hanging out on the Chilliad peak.

keep in mind that:

- you can't go to the bar or do any other activity (except shops & customs), the map will be empty as if you were on a mission

- you also can't drop your friend(s) off, only abandon them but you'll still be unable to do something else

- the only way to get out is die

- or load. not sure if you can save during that, but it makes sense to try (as you can save during a normal hangout but not with your phone, the bed only)

- you might accidentally abandon them so make sure they aren't stuck. if you do, you won't get a warning notification to come back, they'll just stop following you (still react on bumps and shoves though, if you're into that))

- they might die. from a tank shot or a plane crash (even if you're on a painkiller and made it out alive)

SO WHAT'S THE POINT? well, first, they'll not be scared when shit hits the fan (did you ever get a message "Trevor got scared" when your car went underwater or something exploded nearby? what a nonsense). second, they'll not be wounded so you can bump into them as much as you want and they'll become much more tenacious during shotouts. third, they'll not suddenly leave you with an unavoidable goodbye cutscene after you spend a few days together. kinda satisfying, for T especially)

♡♡♡

and now a little background. a few months ago I saw a cute trikey dream where they had a cable car ride together. it wasn't the game's one, more like a ski lift but without skis and without even winter, rather a blossoming spring. it felt sorta "secret after-ending scene which you can get only after fulfilling some conditions" so I was somehow aware of myself as a player and took A HELL LOT of screenshots. they weren't an actual couple there, just chilling buddies with a complicated backstory to talk out, so they talked (it's a shame I didn't remember any dialogues, visual only, but the vibes were like "so everything settled, we're both alive thanks to Frank, he did great and we did great too"), they argued, they laughed, and then Michael almost fell off (for wtf reason), Trevor grabbed him. and held in his arms for the rest of the way, Mikey didn't mind (what surprised me most) and they kept talking. then the cable car stopped (or they just jumped off while it was closest to the ground? more likely) and later they were standing on a cobblestone sidewalk, whispering quietly, without moving even an inch away of each other's faces. I turned on my paparazzi mode again wondering why this scene is so underrated and no one even said a word about that. and when I already was like "omfg, they're so damn close it nearly looks like a kiss!!1!1" they really STARTED KISSING without any "looks like". AND AFTER THAT, I thought sincerely, SOMEONE STILL CLAIMS THEY AREN'T LOVERS? WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PPL? ehh it's rather what's wrong with me but ok... more importantly, the one who initiated was Trevor. the view was from his back, so I only could see Michael's face: he wasn't surprised, rather uncertain if he should've done it first. their kiss was long, not really passionate but very affectionate and gentle. like they finally reached their comfort zone and it all worked out the best way possible.

don't recall anything further, guess I just woke up or the dream channel changed to something boring. hmm... probably first.

(just to say, it was long before I learned how to use rockstar editor and started to take these kiss-alike shots, but yeah, I've become obsessed with the idea since that))

next day I tried a cable car with them and detected the bug (or whatever else it is). was playing as Michael and got confused at first, like what do you mean he can't get rid of T now? I suddenly felt trapped. tried a lot of shit to trigger back a normal hangout, with no results. didn't dare to simply abandon Trevor but I knew it can't go on like this. so I just killed Mikey to let him escape lol. such an irony.

so in summary, it's a trap. a gay trap, particularly. maybe you'll find it entertaining ;3

[miclipse]

⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ worth the wait.

pairing: rafayel x fem! reader

synopsis: rafayel hates waiting. but maybe, just maybe, some things are worth waiting for. even if it takes 800 years.

word count: 0.7k

cw: afab! reader, minor spoilers for rafayel's backstory, implications of abysswalker! rafayel, nicknames used (princess, silly girl, your highness), fluff

note: wrote this at 2am last night, might be a bit bad >< comments appreciated !!

all you felt right now was the cooling sensation of rafayel's hand pressed against your warm forehead.

a click of the tongue could be heard, the merman's normally relaxed expression now scrunched up in frustration.

oh, don't get him wrong. he wasn't mad at you; he never will be. he was mad at himself. how foolish he was to let you wait for him at your balcony for hours, even as the sun went to sleep and the moon rose up into the cloudy abyss.

it was never his intention to be late— rafayel always hated when others were late. however, this time was a little different. he had spent long hours in the sea, looking for the prettiest seashell or gemstone he wanted to gift to you.

afterall, a princess like yourself deserved an exquisite gift from her prince, did she not?

rafayel was young and ignorant at that time. he had underestimated how fast time flew by, and before he knew it, it was dark out when he emerged from the waters. panicked and guilty, he prayed that you hadn't spent your whole evening waiting upon his arrival.

the air was chilly at night, he used to nag at you often. he knew how easily you'd catch a cold from the night breeze. yet, the merman didn't find it the least bit surprising when he spotted you loyally sitting by your balcony, looking into the reflections of the ocean as you patiently awaited for his return.

"you silly girl." his chide was accompanied with a disappointed sigh. "i told you not to wait for me when it gets dark outside, did you forget my words?" he added, his index finger and thumb gently pinching your warm cheek.

you mumbled out a barely coherent response, the fever seemed to be messing with your senses. but rafayel was able to make out a faint 'i wanted to see you' amidst the rest of your nonsensical mumbles.

hearing your sweet answer made his heart sink with guilt. his sweet princess wanted to see him as soon as possible. you wanted for his vision to be filled with you and only you the moment he emerged from the waters. your loyalty and dedication also came with a pinch of possessiveness, something that rafayel knew all too well.

"imagine how the kingdom will react when they find out your highness caught a cold waiting for her merman of a lover." rafayel couldn't help but squeeze in a teasing remark or two even in a situation like this. he squeezed your cheek once again, gently.

you whined out a response, but rafayel just laughed and shook his head. "shh. i won't leave your side until you're all better. promise." his sweet whispers accompanied with the tips of his fingers combing through your hair were your lullaby for that night.

the last thing you saw that night was a blurry view of rafayel sitting by the edge of your bed, looking at something in the palm of his hand. “i'll give this to you once you're better.” the merman whispered to himself with a fond smile.

rafayel hated when people left him waiting. it left him with an anxious feeling. a sense of abandonment. and he couldn't help but wonder, was this what you felt 800 years ago, when you were waiting by the balcony for him? just imagining how your poor, fragile heart felt during those hours as the day turned to night made his heart ache tremendously.

perhaps karma finally struck him for making his poor princess wait outside alone 800 years ago, as he suffered a similar fate.

"you're late. i told you i hate it when people are late." rafayel frowned, his lips forming into a pout as he crossed his arms, turning away from you.

you only laughed and hugged his arm, standing on your tippy toes to give him a peck on his soft lips as repentance for your tardiness.

the merman only huffed. as you looked away from him, rafayel stole a quick glance at you from his peripheral vision. his gaze wandered to the seashell hanging around your neck.

rafayel hated when people left him waiting. but maybe, after finally being able to give his heart to you once again after 800 years, just maybe, the wait was all worthwhile.

all rights reserved © miclipse 2024. do not repost, plagiarize, copy, modify or translate my works on any platforms.

[faeryarchives]

So This is Heartache

azul ashengrotto x gn!reader

azul would never thought that one of his fears would eventually come true and he is not ready to let you go yet.

note: angst during christmas eve is what santa would like don't worry it gets better in the end i think i am not that evil 🤓 spread the azul agenda !!

Everything comes to an end, Azul of all people would come to know that fact as it is how it goes with his contracts. whether be it raising their grades, helping people get their crush to notice them or pass an important alchemy exam - it will all go back to the way it was. He knew it all too well.

'Can you help me raise my grades up i really need to pass!' Of course this would be the typical wish of a high school student.

'I messed up my project and it is due tomorrow!' Accidents are sometimes too scary but one day maybe I can predict one.

'So there is this person, can you help me get together with them?' Would (Name) love me forever?

The prefect of the Ramshackle Dorm, the one he once deemed to be a competitor but ended up being his beloved. His life totally became more lively as he has you around - a safe place where he can let his guard down.

"Azul? What if one day we get separated by the inevitable string of fate?"

"Huh? What kind of nonsense is that? I wouldn't let anyone take you away from me, even if it I am on my last contract." You let out a laugh, leaning on his head which is on your shoulder and held his hand tenderly. "

"Yeah, as if we are going to be separated just like that!"

Hanging out with you along with the twins and Grim is chaotic in a way but it is still fun, not a boring day with you and your creative mind around. But his mother's saying would ring in his head from time to time.

'One day, you will meet someone you will love with all of your heart. But be careful - it may only lead to a heartbreaking end.'

One day, the dorm leader was waiting for you in the Mostro Lounge as usual and you came with the biggest smile in your face as if you just discovered a miracle. A smile from you is everything to him - his treasure. What he didn't knew that the next thing that would come out of your mouth could turn his world upside down.

"Azul! I think we just discovered a way for me to go back home!" Maybe it's because your words also caught the twins attention leading you to getting questioned that you didn't notice how Azul's smile dropped and his whole body turn stiff. All he can hear is his own heartbeat, drowning other sounds out.

'...that means, you are leaving him?' Azul clutched his hold on the pen while trying to contain the tears trying to escape his eyes. 'So, is this the heartache? Mother told me it would hurt but not this much.'

"Oh, Th-That's wonderful news darling! I am so happy for you."

"I know right? I can- Azul?" Everyone in the room stopped after you gasp - seeing tears run down your lover's face despite him keeping up his smile. "My apologies it seems like a dust got caught in my eye. Please give me a minute, its a huge amount of dust I wonder where it came from!" Seeing how the vibes changed, Jade quietly grabbed Floyd and Grim out of the restaurant leaving you and Azul alone.

He can feel your hand trying to wipe his tears away but all he want to do now is crawl into his octopus pot, hiding away from you.

"(Name), love - I would really appreciate if you give me some space."

"Please look at me in the eye Azul, I know what you are thinking right now. I want to say that, I will not leave just yet." The dorm leader keep backing up until his back hits the wall, accidentally letting his guard down as you grab both of his cheeks to force him to face you.

"Finally you are facing me. It wasn't that hard right?" And you gave him that smile, breaking down all of his walls causing him to let out the cries he had been holding on to every time the thought of you just leaving him behind comes up. His head buried in your shoulders, and you couldn't help but give him a hug, patting his hair softly.

"I am not ready to lose you yet."

"Yes, I know."

"I thought you were going to leave me all alone." Seeing how broken he sound, all you can do is whisper apologies over and over again while giving him small kisses on his temple.

"You were scared weren't you? I won't leave, until I can find a way for the two of us to visit each other's place." Pulling away only to stick your foreheads together causing your noses to touch.

"I was supposed to ask you if you could help me find another way but I chose the wrong wordings. I am so sorry for that."

"... you owe me cuddles later. I thought I would go crazy again for a moment." You stared at each other before bursting out in fits of laughter, you spent the whole afternoon discussing about the discovery with the dorm leader peering over your shoulder and his arms around your torso.

'Maybe, there are some things that do last for some time.'

[arziaisfrench]

▪︎ IPKKND Ep 6 recap : Khushi moves to Dehli

Fate or not, Arnav's actions led Khushi to move into her aunt's house in Delhi, the same city where Arnav lives.

I really appreciate how the writers implied how toxic some male gazes are to women and how it also affected Khushi's views on men. But that's not all, it also helps us explain how insecure she can feel in outdoor environments and why she always tends to be hyperactive, unable to stay still unless she's in her own room.

Khushi seems to get many awe stares since she's very beautiful (trashes will harass women just because they are existing but I'm sure you know what I meant here) , they even misunderstood her as a model in the first ep. But she never uses her look to get avantages or "privileges", she's not even aware of how pretty she is.

And I think this is a clue for us to notice her lack of self-confidence: her hyperactive behavior is just a facade. She's not proud of being pretty, nor does she feel pretty. Or perhaps she denies her beauty because she thinks the attention she receives is too negative to be proud of, which could explain why she later thinks Arnav is attracted to her solely for sexual reasons, never guessing that he harbored genuine feelings for her because she don't actually believe someone can love her simply for who she is rather than for what she can do for them ( like her adopted family) or how she looks (like men she has encounter).

" Friendship with your work and rivalry with yourself" Anjali describes her brother with so much precision and truth !

Behind that arrogance and prideful appearance, Arnav doesn't love himself, and he doesn't believe he's worth of being loved, truly loved for who he really is (therefore, doesn't know how to care for himself in a healthy way).

" -You'll be happy to know that the video clip of that girl, which you sent to news channel, made her face so much embarrassment that she had to leave the city ! -Don't waste my time talking nonsense. I don't even care if she has to leave the country!" When Arnav says he doesn't care, it means he cares … at least when it comes to Khushi.

You can sense Arnav is annoyed (barun's micro expressions even behind his sunnies are letting us know, yeap his acting is that good!), but I think he's actually feeling bad and regreteful for what he did.

If you paid attention to this scene properly, you would've seen how Arnav was about to get very angry because of the accident Khushi caused. But suddenly he recognized her. And his anger was gone immediately. He was shocked meeting her once again. "wait, is it really fate? what's going on?"

You could feel the adrenaline rush emaning from them but especially from him, it's not only because of the surprise of meeting her there again. This is exactly what he felt the second time they met.

There is a well-known saying that goes like this:

the first time is accidental, the second is inevitable, and the third is fate.

And I feel like this is exactly what both thought about while recognizing each other during this scene.

____________________________________________________________

> Let me do my choreography analysis again lol : Khushi crosses the road with Arnav but he stopped his car while her motocycle moves past him.

See, its the same choregraphy when she confronted him during their last scene (ep3). She runs to catch him, but she's too fast. To me, it's the representation of the future dynamic of their relationship, Khushi being ready for more with him, to maybe be lovers (in the future eps) while he won't be.

And I think the director really thought about the whole parallel in details to leave us clues !

Then, Khushi bumbs into Arnav because she used the road she wasn't allowed to! It's a very meaningful detail, I think it's the illustration of her entering his heart by daring to challenge him as an equal, something no one else did before !!!

He's shocked seeing here for the third time and in Delhi! But you can sense a bit of anger too: "Is this fate or is she following me with some intentions, probably to seduce me for my money?"

Khushi is shocked too but also angry seing the man who damaged her reputation again, "Why is fate making me meet this man with no morals again?"

[thatscarletflycatcher]

This is such a good, interesting piece of meta!

However, I do heavily disagree with the assumption that Jane Eyre was conclusively set in Georgian times. Unlike both Wuthering Heights and The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, no proper dates are ever provided, so the time setting must be guessed through. The fact that Rochester is said to have been traveling the continent and been in Paris in the previous decade to the events of the novel, that the Jane/Rochester honeymoon involves a continental tour, that Rochester sees Celine and her lover under gaslight, and that he brings Adele to England on a steamer all point towards a post-1820s date, or at the very least a post 1815 date (you cannot be happily wandering about Europe and Paris specifically, as a British subject specially so, during the French Revolution (1789-1799) and the Napoleonic wars (1803-1815). Besides that, it makes sense, as Jane Eyre is written as a personal biography being published a decade after the central events of the novel, that those events would be set about a decade before the date of publication, landing them in the late 1830s (I do agree that adaptations set in the 1840s proper, such as 96 and 2011 is nonsense).

Re: Bertha's adultery, I do think the "unchaste" thing heavily implies that she was unfaithful, and I do think Rochester includes it as a way of lessening his own later fault in taking lovers himself. But as you say, the infidelity had to be proven, and I do think once she's declared insane, it wouldn't have mattered any way because she'd lack moral responsibility for her actions, and as wives were dependent on their husbands (as you point out), her insanity is an element against any chances of his divorcing her at the time.

Separation is what in fact Rochester and Bertha have; they do not live like husband and wife. But that doesn't solve Rochester's ProblemTM which is that he wants to be married and have a wife who is his intellectual companion.

A declaration of nulity is a confirmation that there never was a marriage in the first place, for a variety of reasons, main ones being A) a forbidding impediment existed - i.e. the couple are related to each other in a degree that is forbidden (i.e. they are half siblings) B) there was a vice in consent (i.e. one of the parties was kidnapped and forced into marriage against their will). Consummation or no consummation are irrelevant to nulity; that is only relevant for a dissolution of the marriage (what in Catholicism is called the Petrine Privilege: the Pope can dissolve a marriage that has been celebrated but not consummated).

There were two possibilities for Rochester in terms of annulment: A) that there was vice in Bertha's consent (she was insane enough when they married that she wouldn't be able to consent at all); B) That there was vice in his consent (information that would have changed his decision of marrying her was purposefully witheld from him to that end).

The first case, as you point out, can go nowhere; to Rochester's mind she wasn't mad until after they married, and officially she was not declared insane after years had passed.

The second case I do feel applies; if Rochester knew her mother and grandmother had gone insane, and had he known her character beforehand, he believes he wouldn't have married her. But he has to prove that such information was withheld from him. And the only people that can witness to that are... the Masons. Who were clearly desperate to get rid of her and wouldn't cooperate with something that would mean taking her back (as you point out). I think this is part of why Rochester feels like he's not married to Bertha at all sometimes, and that what separates him from Jane is mere convention and paperwork (he believes there never was a marriage, but he cannot prove it). But he does have his doubts about it, clearly, as his taking women as only mistresses shows. I do think there's a self awareness in Rochester that he's an idiot and that maybe even knowing Bertha's backstory he would have married her anyways because he was young and stupid and hormonal.

I don't think by the 1800s a divorcee couldn't legally remarry; Austen treats it as a very real possibility that Mr Rushworth may remarry after divorcing Maria in Mansfield Park; and Lord Lowborough also remarries after he divorces Isabella in Tenant. Both were cases of easily proven infidelity of the wife. So I'd assume the quote from Inside the World of Bridgerton... is either equating separation with divorce (in the cases that were not parliamentary divorces) or maybe at the time both were known as divorce (sounds unlikely to me, but I cannot disprove it).

Why Mr. Rochester and Bertha Mason Couldn't Get a Legal Separation; or, the Utter Madness of Marital Laws

So I saw a Jane Eyre post discussing why Mr. Rochester and Bertha Mason couldn't get a legal marital separation. I've thought a lot about this topic, and in order to procrastinate writing the final for my upper-level Brontë class, I've decided to write this sort of convoluted analysis instead. I know many others have written about this subject, but I wanted to explore a bit further on my own.

Preliminary context about me, the Brontës, their Byronic inspiration, etc.: I've learned a lot about 19th century British marriage laws recently in my classes on old British literature, as well as by having studied Byron, whose marital separation in 1816 was a notorious part of his history & also reverberated through 19c literature. He refers to this separation in many of his works, most famously in his notorious poem "Fare Thee Well." Harriet Beecher Stowe, the most famous American female writer at the time, was friends with Lady Byron and wrote a book defending her called "Lady Byron Vindicated: A history of the Byron controversy from its beginning in 1816 to the present time" (the original callout post).

Insanity accusations did factor in to Byron's separation. Many scholars have remarked how the Queens of Byronic Criticism, the Brontë sisters, took significant inspiration from their well-worn copy of Moore's biography Life of Byron when creating their works. The Brontës would have been very familiar with marriage laws not only due to their knowledge of Byron's trainwreck of a marriage, but also due to being well-educated women at the time who knew that marriage was the most important economic decision of one's life and could very well make or break a person. As a result, marriage plays a significant role in their novels.

More relevant preliminary context about the novel: Jane Eyre actually takes place in the Georgian era, despite most adaptations and anaysis presenting is as a Victorian piece due to the novels publication date (this drives me crazy; same goes for the other Brontë books). Marriage laws did not change drastically from the time the novel is set to the time Brontë was writing the novel, but things were a bit different socially. Rochester was also married 15 years before his attempt to marry Jane. According to this very good analysis, Rochester and Bertha probably married in or around the year 1793: https://jane-eyre.guidesite.co.uk/timeline.

Now, here are the reasons why Rochester couldn't separate from Bertha:

1) Insanity wasn't grounds for divorce/separation in the Regency era.

Rochester himself says that he couldn't legally separate from her because of her insanity, which presumably rendered any of her faults null on the grounds of that marital vow "in sickness and in health." This is possibly one of his biggest reasons:

"I was rich enough now – yet poor to hideous indigence: a nature the most gross, impure, depraved I ever saw, was associated with mine, and called by the law and by society a part of me. And I could not rid myself of it by any legal procedings: for the doctors now discovered that my wife was mad — her excesses had prematurely developed the germs of insanity [..]"

2) Divorce was nearly impossible anyway.

There had only been around 300 divorces in English history at the time. Almost all of them were husbands divorcing their wives for committing adultery. Only a handful of divorces had succesfully been obtained by women, and they were only in cases where the husband had committed incestuous adultery or bigamy, and was extremely physically cruel. So technically after his bigamy attempt, Bertha may have had more grounds to obtain a divorce than Rochester would have, if only she were lucid enough to do so. However, in that scenario infertility would have helped their case, and Adèle's existence would have harmed their case if he attempted to seek a divorce before marrying Jane. Though as the novel explains, Adèle is probably not his, she definitely would have been used against him, as would the fact that he kept Bertha's existence a secret in England. But he wouldn't have tried for divorce that late in the game anyway, considering it was one of the most difficult options.

3) Female adultery was your best bet at divorce or separation, and this probably wasn't applicable to Mr. & Mrs. Rochester.

Although some scholars claim that there is subtext hinting that Bertha was adulterous (which some adaptations, like the 2006, include), you needed substantial proof of the adultery, which Rochester may not have had if it did occur. Being a proud man, he also wouldn't have wanted to be humiliated in that way by letting it be publicly known (as shame is one of his main reasons for hiding their marriage to begin with).

However, I lean toward the idea that Bertha may not have committed adultery. If she definitively did, seeing how affected Rochester was by Céline cheating on him (he shot her lover in revenge and left her with a stipend), if he ever suspected adultery on Bertha's part then I'm sure he would have been at court the very next day. I also think Rochester tries not to be too much of a hypocrite, and he is well aware that he himself is an adulterer, so he probably doesn't want to accuse Bertha of a crime he's committed and which he couldn't definitively prove she did.

Rochester does talk about hating Bertha's "vices" when they lived together, citing drinking, arguing, cruelty to servants, cursing, her being "unchaste," a "harlot," etc. - the last epithets, combined with her supposed lack of morality, and her being described as seductive, heavily imply that adultery could be added to her list of offenses. However, if she did truly cheat on him as well, I don't see why he wouldn't plainly tell this to Jane as well. I would imagine it would be his first complaint, and it would probably be considered his most justifiable reason against her by their cultural standards.

I don't see why he wouldn't jump to take Bertha's infidelity as an opportunity to defend his own actions, considering how open he is with Jane about his own adultery and being cheated on by Cèline Varens. While I can see how some of the textual evidence may strongly suggest Bertha's adultery, we cannot be fully certain, and that may be because Rochester himself is not fully certain. I cannot see why he wouldn't have sought legal advice on that account alone.

In short, if Bertha was an adulterer, there must have been no evidence to convict her.

Also: while the double-standard may seem odd and trivial to us, the reason why female adultery held more weight than male adultery has entirely to due with old patriarchal inheritance laws; i.e the risk of a wife getting extramaritally pregnant and passing the illegitimate child off as her husband's heir was considered too great of an affront. A man could have as many bastards as he wanted because he would know they were bastards and were not at risk of inheriting his stuff. One needed legitimate heirs to justify passing on one's ancestral wealth to. Essentially, marriage was a mere economic tool, and the economy was and is inherently patriarchal. I digress.

4) Rochester's lack of social & economic leverage, and risk of social ruin in general.

Only the wealthiest of the wealthy could obtain divorce or official separation, and it often led to social ruin. Rochester is rich, but he has no title and no great network of supporters due to being a younger son and having been abroad for most of the past 15 years (this was the length of his marriage to Bertha, stated by Mr. Briggs during the bigamous wedding attempt). He doesn't have as much leverage as Lord and Lady Byron had.

To continue on official separation, like Lady and Lord Byron obtained. Just like divorce, this was also a messy and scandalous legal proceeding, and required numerous good reasons to obtain, and being well-connected Lords and Ladies really helped your case. You also needed many witnesses and written statements as evidence. Bertha's family, as we see with Mason, would have been unhelpful to Rochester, and due to his shame and secrecy, no one could really testify on his behalf I'm assuming.

5) Unofficial separation would have been inconvenient, especially in regards to living situations.

Aside from divorce, which was extremely rare, extremely controversial, and only for the wealthiest members of society — there were unofficial and official separations. An unofficial separation was simply living apart from one another. I've often wondered why Rochester didn't simply move Grace Poole and Bertha somewhere else, but my main theory is that it would have been cost ineffective, and due to his family who were implied to be shitty, he probably really didn't want to live at Thornfield anyway so thought it would be convenient to place her there. Rochester says it would be dangerous to place her in his other residence of Ferndean:

"[..] though I possess an old house, Ferndean Manor, even more retired and hidden than this, where I could have lodged her safely enough, had not a scruple about the unhealthiness of the situation, in the heart of a wood, made my conscience recoil from the arrangement. Probably those damp walls would soon have eased me of her charge: but to each villain his own vice; and mine is not a tendency to indirect assassination, even of what I most hate."

6) Annulment was likely impossible given their circumstances.

Annulment means evaporating the marriage, acting as if it never existed, that it was a mistake. This was rare and only granted in unique circumstances, and I believe it was more common with aristocracy and royals. I believe you could possibly get an annulment if you could prove that the spouse was insane at the time of the wedding and you did not know. However, Bertha did not begin to truly deteriorate until after they had been living together for a bit. And while Rochester says that he did not know her mother was in an asylum until after the wedding, having an insane mother doesn't mean that you are insane, which Bertha clearly wasn't at that point, at least not in a way that people would have publicly acknowledged, since Rochester says she attended parties and her hand was highly sought after.

Generally, the longer a marriage had gone on, the harder it was to prove why it could not go on. Rochester says that he and Bertha "lived together" for "four years" in Jamaica while her condition deteriorated and he tried to make things work. And again, after the wedding he found out her mother was "mad, and shut up in a lunatic asylum." So we have more reasons for Rochester's difficulty: the fear of Bertha going to an asylum while she was still mostly lucid in those first four years, combined with the fact that they openly lived together and certainly must have consummated their marriage (things which would further prevent annulment), and were certainly publicly recognized as a couple in Spanish Town society, and her family wanting the marriage to continue so she could have children of "good race" i.e. to produce heirs.

Here's an important passage that to me suggests that Rochester and Bertha not only had an initial flirtation but likely consummated their marriage, likely had a passionate sexual relationship for some time, and likely implies his feelings for her were more complex than we'd initially assume, making annulment not so clear-cut of an option to him at the time:

"My father said nothing about her money; but he told me Miss Mason was the boast of Spanish Town for her beauty: and this was no lie. I found her a fine woman, in the style of Blanche Ingram; tall, dark, and majestic. Her family wished to secure me because I was of a good race; and so did she. They showed her to me in parties, splendidly dressed. I seldom saw her alone, and had very little private conversation with her. She flattered me, and lavishly displayed for my pleasure her charms and accomplishments. All the men in her circle seemed to admire her and envy me. I was dazzled, stimulated: my senses were excited; and being ignorant, raw, and inexperienced, I thought I loved her. There is no folly so besotted that the idiotic rivalries of society, the prurience, the rashness, the blindness of youth, will not hurry a man to its commission. Her relatives encouraged me; competitors piqued me; she allured me: a marriage was achieved almost before I knew where I was. Oh, I have no respect for myself when I think of that act! — an agony of inward contempt masters me. I never loved, I never esteemed, I did not even know her."

7) Spousal abandonment wasn't possible, and on some level he honored his legal and financial obligations to her and the Mason family.

Bertha's family likely refused to house her for legal and personal reasons, and spousal abandonment was forbidden due to the husband's financial responsibility as well as the law of coverture (a wife became her husband's full legal responsibility; some say "property"). Like we see in Anne's Tenant of Wildfell Hall, if a woman ran away from their spouse they would have to live in obscurity and be at risk of being sussed out. You couldn't just abandon your partner. Still, people did, because it was the easiest route to take.

But the more upper-class you were, and the more financial entanglements you had, the more inconvenient this was. We know that Rochester and his family became enmeshed with the Mason family, and he got a lot of money from Bertha, so her father likely would have taken him to court. At any rate, Rochester was legally bound to bring Bertha with him to England when he left Jamaica. If he attempted to abandon her in Jamaica, the backlash it would have brought would have brought him social ruin and foiled his chances at getting away with any bigamy attempts.

All this brings us to a further notice of Bertha's family situation. Based on Charlotte Brontë's positive comments about Rochester's character (https://www.tumblr.com/burningvelvet/731403104856195072/in-a-letter-to-w-s-williams-14-august-1848) I see no reason to suspect him, like many feminist critics do, of being an unreliable narrator or of lying about Bertha Mason's history. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and in mine, that is simply not the novel Charlotte wrote. By her own admission, she wanted his narrative to be a path to further goodness.

It makes no narrative sense for our explanation of his and Bertha's history to be full of lies when he's trying to make ammends with Jane, who never suspects him of lying during his admission, but who does critique him and figure he'd tire of her like she was one of his many mistresses. Jane wonders if Rochester would lock her in an attic too, which he refutes on the basis that he loves her more than he loved Bertha when she was sane, and so he would care for Jane himself. Jane also tells him that it's not Bertha's fault that she's mad. So in my opinion, if Charlotte wanted us to believe Rochester was lying about his and Bertha's history to make himself look better or Bertha look worse, I don't see why she would have been vague about it, and I don't see why Jane wouldn't have called it out like she does everything else. I don't think Rochester is really a villain who locked his harmless wife in the attic for giggles; I think he weighed most of his options and found, like most people back then and even today, that keeping his problems locked up and ignored was the best solution.

Now, on with the point. I have often wondered why Rochester didn't simply "unofficially separate" from Bertha by leaving her with her family when he left. Why did he take her to England? Why didn't he just run away? It wasn't because he was an evil villain who wanted to keep her as a trophy. It's because 1) I don't think her father would have let him, as he was so quick to marry her off, 2) he felt obligated to her, and 3) it was criminal for men to abandon their wives, and it would have attracted publicity, which is what Rochester was avoiding by taking Bertha to England and sheltering her in secrecy.

Many claim that Rochester's adultery is a betrayal of his wife; and while religiously, narratively, socially, we can accept this statement, it was not legally a crime. While Rochester does honor his financial and legal obligations to his wife and her family, he does not take the religious part of the vows into account, and that's why he's cosmically punished and only rewarded after he repents, as he explains toward the end of the novel.

Another interesting point is that when Rochester recounts his decision to move back to England, he tells us that Bertha had already been declared insane in Jamaica and that she was already confined there (presumably around the 4 year anniversary before they left), meaning her father probably knew about confinement:

"One night I had been awakened by her yells (since the medical men had pronounced her mad, she had of course been shut up) — it was a fiery West Indian night; [..]"

Locking away "insane" people was standard procedure then, and if this was done with Bertha's father's knowledge, considering he locked his own wife away in an asylum, then this further absolves Rochester of a lot of the blame in my opinion. It more than likely wasn't his idea to lock her away, but the advice of "the medical men" and presumably her father's consultation as well.

8) Even if he divorced or separated from her, he couldn't remarry. Attempting these, or getting caught attempting abandonment, would have brought negative publicity that would have likely prevented the success of any future bigamy attempts. To him, secrecy and bigamy seemed better chances at securing happiness than the social ruin and likely failure the other options would have brought him.

Aside from Rochester's own explanation (which I supplied in #2 re: the separation veto inherent to Bertha's insanity), the other biggest reason as to why Rochester wouldn't seek a separation/divorce even if she hadn't been declared insane and even if he were willing to accuse her of adultery truthfully or not, is due to the fact that one could not legally remarry upon separation or divorce (unless you were Henry VIII and got God's permission lol). Rochester's impossible dream is that he wants to be married to someone he really loves, and if secrecy and bigamy are his only options then he is willing to succumb; this is shown in numerous passages:

"[..] I could reform — I have strength yet for that — if— but where is the use of thinking of it, hampered, burdened, cursed as I am? Besides, since happiness is irrevocably denied me, I have a right to get pleasure out of life: and I will get it, cost what it may."

"I will keep my word: I will break obstacles to happiness, to goodness — yes, goodness; I wish to be a better man than I have been; than I am — as Job's leviathan broke the spear, the dart, and the habergeon, hinderances which others count as iron and brass, I will esteem but straw and rotten wood."

"Is there not love in my heart, and constancy in my resolves? It will expiate at God's tribunal. I know my Maker sanctions what I do. For the world's judgment — I wash my hands thereof. For man's opinion — I defy it."

Closing remarks on the above's validity: I can't cite all my sources because a lot of this stuff I learned from lectures via my professor who specializes in 19th century English literature & history. But here's some recently published information from a historian, taken from "Inside the World of Bridgerton: True Stories of Regency High Society" by Catherine Curzon (2023):

"And if you were one of the newly-weds, you really did hope things would work out, because in the Regency till death do us part wasn't just an expression. As the Prince Regent himself had learned when he separated from his wife within eighteen months of their marriage, obtaining a divorce in Regency England was no easy matter. He never achieved it, and for those who did the stakes could be high and the cost ruinous in every sense."

"Until the passing of the Matrimonial Causes Act of 1857, which legalized divorce in the civil courts, it was governed by the ecclesiastical courts, and the Church didn't end a marriage without very, very good reason. Even these divorces didn't allow a couple to remarry, though, and they were more akin to what we would today call a legal separation, with no shared legal or financial responsibilities going forward. It was freedom, but only to a point."

"The only way to obtain a complete dissolution that allowed for remarriage was to secure a parliamentary divorce, and these were notoriously difficult to obtain. They began with a criminal conversation case, because they relied on adultery by one of the parties to make them even a slight possibility. If a woman committed crim. con., her life in polite society was over."

[giorno-plays-piano]

The Hollow

Pairing: monster!Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: yandere, horror, stalking, kidnapping, death of minor characters.

Words: 2137.

Summary: You were finally going mad. Apparently, it was something in the air, right? Something the management told nothing about that caused hallucinations and all those scary things. Obviously, all those people who worked in the assembly shop #4 before you left because they knew that. That was the reason behind the stupid legend and all those rumors.

_______

There’s a man inside the wall behind you.

This was what the factory workers told you as soon as the manager left, forcing you to question people’s sanity. At first you thought it was a bad joke or something. A man inside the wall in the assembly shop #4? What the Hell was that?

You thought they wanted to scare you away because they didn’t like you: your colleagues were simple people who lived in this godforsaken place for ages and knew each other as if they all were one big family. You, an outsider from somewhere far away who didn’t even look like them, weren’t the same kind, they probably thought. Of course, they didn’t take a liking to you and tried to make you leave so that you wouldn’t become an eyesore.

However, soon you found out they all were pitying you. You could feel their eyes on you each time you left the shop where you worked alone, and all you saw on their faces was fear and regret. A couple of women tried befriending you, sitting at the same table as you during lunch, and the next day they all told you anyone who had been working in the shop #4 left in less than a month. Naturally, you didn’t believe that crazy talk about the man in the wall - it’s not like the factory was built in those times when people were buried alive inside the walls for good luck. Then the women tried convincing you to work facing the wall - you were now standing behind it because of how the rusted pipeline with a barrel shifter was placed. You almost rolled your eyes in irritation: you wouldn’t risk losing your job because you couldn’t stand where you were told by the manager. You desperately needed money.

The day after you received a letter in your locker: somebody asked you to leave the assembly shop #4 immediately if you valued your life. It was starting getting scary. Were these people schizophrenic's? No, there were far too many of them who believed in this creepy urban legend.

At some point you got so fed up with this stupid talk that you headed right to Andy, your manager, to ask him why on Earth people were bothering you with this. The man spent half an hour talking about employees who had nothing better to do other than slacking off and telling silly stories when they needed to work. Yes, rumors had it that almost a hundred years ago there was a man, an talented engineer, who entered the assembly shop #4 and never came back, but it had nothing to do with this ridiculous legend. The wall behind you was all solid blocks of stone that were never moved since the day this factory was built. Even if the engineer was killed - although Andy believed the story wasn’t even real - how would somebody hide the body of a grown man there without dismantling the wall? 

The story should have put you at ease, you thought, but instead it only made you more concerned: now as you knew about a disappeared engineer, every time you stood with your back facing that cursed wall you felt the shivers running down your spine. What if there were a ghost or something? You didn’t believe in them, of course, but the dim light in the shop #4, its rusted pipeline, dirty floors and dust balls were hardly making you feel any better. And that disgusted lunch bell... it sounded almost like Silent Hill siren.

You worked in the shop for 8 hours every day, having no time to literally visit the bathroom. Assembling metal parts that always looked ugly over and over again could make anyone go nuts. By the end of the day your body ached as if you carried a giant stone on your shoulders, your back hurting, arms heavy as you barely kept standing. You didn’t even have strength to smile at Dean, an elderly night guard, but he just nodded to you with understanding, knowing well what it meant to be a factory worker here. This shitty job could kill anyone if you stayed long enough here.

Was it the reason why everyone kept talking about that man in the wall? This was the only way to liven up things here, you guessed and decided to talk about it more with the women who you befriended.

They were happy you finally started asking questions. They talked about the legend of the engineer vanished into thin air: you had never heard so much nonsense, sitting quietly in the bus and waiting for it to bring you home. Somebody said the engineer made a pact with the devil himself and merged with the wall, becoming immortal within the stone; the others claimed the engineer went mad because of his loneliness and buried himself in the wall; one woman argued that the engineer, on the contrary, was a ladies man and got sealed up there by a relative of his former lover who committed suicide. There were far too many rumors for you to remember, and soon you abandoned the idea to use the-man-in-the-wall topic to "liven things up" in the factory.

The two weeks had passed since the time you first started working here. You hated this rusty place with all your heart, but this job kept you afloat. It was still better than nothing. Biting down on your dry lower lip, you exhaled tiredly and lifted a particularly heavy detail, trying to fit it in the right place.

The next moment it fell down the dirty floor as you heard an awful sound behind your back as if the heavy stones were moving. It was just for a second, a mere second, but it was enough to have you on edge as you stared at the wall with your eyes wide open. It was some kind of an auditory hallucination, right? There was nothing different in the wall behind you. It looked just like it always did, a nasty grey stone with a tint of orange from the rusty hooks. The wall couldn’t open up just like some Narnia’s wardrobe, could it? It was far too old for any sort of mechanisms like that. Besides, it wouldn’t be able to close so fast, leaving no traces. It was some hallucination from your lack of sleep.

Your coworkers didn’t think so when you told them about it. It was the man in the wall, of course. It always started like this - with an awful, frightening sound. Soon you would be hearing things and feeling the stare of that man all the time, they said. The room #4 was a terrible place, and you should leave it immediately, they said. One woman even offered you to stay at her place if you couldn’t provide for yourself until you found a better job. Of course, you declined her kind offer.

But you did start hearing all kinds of things while you were working. Stones moving, metal clinking, some weird rustling out of nowhere - it was all making you insane, especially since every time you turned around only to see nothing but the wall behind your back. Everything was as it should have been, but you felt something was happening when you didn’t look. 

You were finally going mad. Apparently, it was something in the air, right? Something the management told nothing about that caused hallucinations and all those scary things. Obviously, all those people who worked in the assembly shop #4 before you left because they knew that. That was the reason behind the stupid legend and all those rumors. Obviously, you - and all those people who ran away from here - lacked money to do all the necessary medical tests to prove anything.

Shit, you really needed to find a better job if you didn’t want to spend the rest of your days in an asylum. 

Now at night you were sending your CV and cover letters, but you couldn’t stop working, nonetheless, forced to constantly look behind your shoulder or turn around just to make sure you weren’t totally crazy. You tried ignoring the noise once, but when it grew louder instead of disappearing in one second just like before, you realized it was a big mistake. Every day was turning into a nightmare.

Grey stone, rusted hooks, dust bunnies on the floor. The same picture you saw over and over again when you were turning back. It was simply unbearable. At one point you even wished to see something different there, something that would prove you weren't going insane.

You had to be careful with your wishes. When you came to the shop #4 the next time, you saw a face of a man cut in grey stone.

You didn't know what happened after that, coming to your senses in the resting room with your coworkers giving your water and some pills, your body shaking so badly you barely managed to sit. Was that a hallucination? A face of a man in the wall? All people around you kept saying it wasn't, describing this face to you so vividly as if they saw it themselves.

You needed to get out of here. Even if it meant becoming homeless and begging for money on the street, it was still a better option than staying in one room with that thing.

It was the next day you prepared to give Andy your letter of resignation, turning back to face the wall nearly every minute. No, you weren't going to stay here and watch how your life was becoming a living Hell - damn, it already was, wasn't it? You no longer slept peacefully, barely eating, constantly trying to keep a bottle of cheap wine you kept in the kitchen out of your reach. No, no, no, you weren't stupid enough to work for a minimum salary in a place like this, risking your own life.

It happened when the lunch bell rang, making you cringe - the next moment something had exploded with such a defeaning boom you almost fell down to the floor. Shit, you knew this sound - an omen of a great catastrophe that certainly disfigured somebody, if not killed. Something went horribly wrong in the assembly shop #3.

The blood drained from your face. Oh God. Were Shirley, Agatha and Simon alright? No, they weren't. Judging by the horrible screams coming from the metal door, they weren’t.

You moved as if in slow motion, your legs suddenly giving up on you, the siren wailing so loud your head could burst, forcing you to forget all the emergency instructions you were given. You needed to open the door. You needed to get this people out of there, those who were screaming in pain, cursing, and pleading for help.

"You can't go." A soft voice somewhere behind you said, and you froze. "You will die out there."

Someone's hands wrapped around you like a rope, making it harder to breathe, not letting you take one more step to the rusted metal door and dragging somewhere back instead until you felt the cold grey wall with your back. It was him, wasn't it? It was the man who had been watching you for a month from inside the stone, waiting for his chance.

When the realization hit you, the fear became suffocating. You couldn't move, couldn't even speak or cry out something to make others know you're trapped here, with a man in the wall who was taking you with him. But nobody would hear you anyway: the unstopping cries of people from the assemble shop #3 were earsplitting, and the siren didn't get silent either, making your efforts futile.

"Don't be afraid," he murmured so gently as if he was your lover, making you want to puke, "I won't leave you here."

The wall behind your back moved with a sound you knew well. Although you expected to bump into cold stones and rusted hooks that would tear your skin apart, instead, you felt darkness embracing you, wrapping around you like a cocoon. The picture of the assemble shop #4 looked so far now, so little as if you were staring at the tiny photo in an old album. It felt surreal.

You were behind the stone wall - or inside of it, you couldn't tell - looking at the real world through the looking glass. They were right. All those people who were constantly telling you about the man living in the grey stone wall were right.

"I was waiting for you a long, long time," the voice behind you said, and you felt somebody - or something - lowering their monstrous head to your shoulder, making a quiet sigh, "but you finally came to share my solitude... Thank you."

________

Tags: @finleyjayne @alexakeyloveloki   ​@helenaeisenhower @villanellevi @hurricanerin ​@inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @chris-evans-indian-fanfic @navegandoaciegas @rosalynshields @brattycherub @sllooney @angrythingstarlight @lookiamtrying @buckysbunny @soleil-dor @stargazingfangirl18 @dillybuggg @literate-lamb @cosicas-cuquis @sarge-barnes-sir @buckybarnesplumwhore @jaysayey @megzdoodle @gotnofucks @lux-ravenwolf @ximebebx @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @sourpatchspinster @biiskuitx @stupendouslovegardener @melodie-rin @iheartsebandchris

[kuroosdreamwifey]

5 times valentine clichés reminded yuji of couples and the 1 time it reminded him of you

- itadori yuji x gn!reader

- fluff

- warnings: none

- note: part one of the valentine's special!! i'll be posting these throughout the week (hopefully, let's hope exams don't exhaust me to the bone before then)

- flowers

Yuji had never quite understood flowers. To him, they were just plants taken from someone's garden and given to people you care about. All that nonsense about flower language didn't interest him, and seeing couples walking around with huge bouquets on Valentine's Day only made it worse. He really didn't see the point of them, since all they did was irritate his nose. Watching the people in the park fawn over the flowers their partner got for them, Yuji decided that he would never give flowers as a gift.

- chocolate

Chocolate is one of Yuji's true loves. He could eat it everyday and not get tired of it, especially the ones Megumi makes. Top tier quality, in his opinion. He'll eat chocolate in any form, except for those disgusting cheap chocolates every store sells during the week leading up to Valentine's Day. During that time, the shelves of the stores are almost devoid of Yuji's favourite chocolate bar, in favour of the ugly pink heart shaped boxes with low quality chocolate in them. An absolute disgrace to chocolate, if you ask him. That moment, staring at the shelves with despair and disgust, Yuji swore to never get these chocolates for his future lover.

- jewelry

If there was one thing that baffled Yuji the most about Valentine's Day, it was gifting jewelry, or even worse, proposing to your partner. Why on earth would you want to get engaged on Valentine's Day, of all days? And why on earth would you spend so much money on rings that look like they've been made by someone who couldn't tell blue from green? It always puzzled Yuji, because he would never do that. Nope. Never in a million years would Yuji even think of gifting his partner store bought jewelry.

- perfume

This is probably something Yuji can get behind. Well, as long as it isn't some terrible fragrance that makes him nauseous at a small whiff of it, like those perfumes named 'Romance On The Beach' or some shit like that. No, Yuji preferred more subtle fragrances, which is why he never understood why there was always a group of men in the perfume aisle at the store, trying to decided whether rose scented perfume is the best choice. Like, damn, please grow a sense of taste because that choice is just disappointing. Yuji thinks he would do a much better job, except he has no intention of ever gifting it to someone.

- romantic dinners

Oh, the number of people he's seen walking around in suits and dresses, all ready to eat at high-end restaurants that served plates of food that barely filled half the stomach. In the short time he spent working as a waiter, he'd seen too many proposals gone wrong, people being stood up, one party being forced to pay the entirely too expensive bill. It really wasn't worth it, in Yuji's opinion. Why not just stay at home and eat dinner while watching something together? Won't that be much better? Not that Yuji would even know, since he had no plans of getting a partner in the near future, much less having a 'romantic dinner' with them.

- everything, all at once

If you told 16 year old that Yuji that he'd be standing here, three years later, in the perfume aisle of the store after having bought ingredients for chocolate cake and snacks for a picnic, he would've laughed in your face. But here he is, trying to decide which perfumes smells like you the most, the one named 'Vanilla Coffee' or 'Home In The Sky', something that apparently smelt like sea breeze? Or was it normal breeze? Yuji couldn't figure it out and with that he chose the other perfume to buy.

As he made his way to the counter, he mentally checked his shopping list. 1: Ingredients for cake? Check. 2: Snacks and drinks for the picnic? Check. 3: Perfume? Check. 4: Jewelry? To be picked up. 5: Flowers? To be bought.

Paying for all his stuff, Yuji left the grocery store and went to the jewelry store, taking out his receipt from earlier and asking the person behind the counter for his order. Nodding at him, the assistant went to the back of the store, coming back out with a necklace box in hand. Yuji decided early on that you two were too young for any kind of ring, so he got a necklace commissioned for you instead. It had a pendant in the shape of Alstroemeria, the flower that you never stopped talking about. It was also why he ordered for a bouquet of them. Remembering the flowers, Yuji made sure to thank the cashier before leaving the store, going to his final stop of the day before your house, the florist. There, he paid for the bouquet that he had to admit was extremely beautiful.

Yuji laughed at the irony of all this on the way to your house. Younger him was so skeptical and judgemental of everyone and everything to do with Valentine's Day. But you, you made him want to make an effort, made him want to celebrate Vlaentine's Day, made him want to spoil you with gifts.

And as he told you all this later, the two of you lying down on a picnic blanket, watching the stars, the necklace glinting in the moonlight when you turned to look at him, and you saying with teary eyes "Thank you, my love, for today. I really enjoyed it." and kissing him softly on his lips, Yuji decided that he would move the heavens and the earth on Valentine's Day if it meant seeing that beautiful, soft smile you reserved only for your happiest moments.

[aryareyes]

GRUVIA WEEK : DAY ONE

Hello everyone,

I know I’m very late for Gruvia week but to be honest I was hesitant to participate but as you can see I’ve finally decided to write because I had this idea pop up in my mind and I had to write it at any cost. So here it is. Let me know your opinions and don’t forget to leave me some likes! Thanks and Happy Gruvia week.

Paring : Gruvia

Day one : Beguile.

Summary : Takes place after the 100 years quest, during the grand magic games.

——————————————————————————

The entire arena was plunged into a dangerous silence that could be heard like the sound of water droplets. Thin layers of ice covered the surfaces of the stadium as the people of Crocus gasped at the scene unfolding before their eyes. Even the announcers were stunned by what was happening. The quiet. The stadium was calm. A calm before the storm. The next moment, the stadium exploded as if it were on fire. If the silence of a minute ago was dangerous, the overwhelming ovation of the audience was destructive.

Before the eyes of the crowd shouting Fairy Tail pride, stood Fiore's only water mage, the fairies’ emblem glinting on her left thigh, her fierce gaze a determination that was known only to Fairy Tail mages. The layer of magical water around her slowly and gently faded, leaving her slightly bruised face to appear in full view of the people of Crocus as she raised a hand, thumb and forefinger pointing to the sky, displaying the symbol of Fiore's finest guild to mark her victory.

Her opponent was stunned on the ground, not too shocked by her defeat, rather a small smile curling her lips, eyes closed in exhaustion. She looked peaceful, arms outstretched, looking up to the sky and listening to the crowd's ovation. She really loved Fairy Tail after all, she couldn't afford to be a sore loser when they were the ones who taught her the meaning of fighting for their nakama. And she fought faithfully to the end this time. The exclamations of her guildmates did not go unnoticed and she opened one eye to look at the girl standing a few feet away from her, her smile widened. Yes, she certainly wasn't a bad loser if her opponent was Juvia Lockser.

Watching her from the arena with his chaotic friends blowing out his eardrums and wreaking havoc, Gray couldn't help but be beguiled by her beauty. She stood there and fiercely displayed the symbol of their guild with that triumphant little smile on her lips, even though he knew she was about to pass out from exhaustion. Not to mention the soft blue trail left by her magic around her,—Yes, Juvia Lockser was truly breathtaking and he, Gray Fullbuster, was head over heels for her. After years of he pinning on him and him pushing his feelings deep into his soul by fear of losing her, he was finally able to proudly admit that he was madly in love with this beautiful and crazy woman who managed to melt his ice and forge her way into his heart.

- " Quite staring lover boy! Go get your girl fast! You wouldn't want someone else to have her, would you?" The voice of his drunken friend snapped him out of his reverie, bringing him back to reality.

Once his mind registered his words, his cheeks tingled ever so slightly and he looked away from his friends to stubbornly stare at the lacrima screen, which displayed the scores. Fairy Tail was in the lead, unsurprisingly, with thirty-seven points. The pride he felt knowing that the last five points had been won by his girl in the hard fought battle that had just ended was indescribable. He unconsciously scratched his cheek before glancing at Cana who was smirking and Natsu who was laughing. Erza pushed him towards the stairs or the main hallway with a knowing smile, while Lucy and Wendy smiled contentedly. Gray rolled his eyes and headed for the stairs.

It was the third day of the big magic games and solo battles were in the spotlight today. The winners of the day were Jellal Fernandez of the newly formed Crime Sorcery guild - officially, against Kagura of Mermaid heel, his annoying brother Lyon who beat Jenny of Blue Pegasus and the winner of the last battle, his Juvia. His stupid heart skipped another beat and he groaned as he felt the chaos in his stomach.

When the cool breeze hit his bare skin and the crowd started cheering again, while Jason’s "Cool! Cool! Cool!" echoed through the stadium, he knew he had exited the hallway leading to the center arena. His eyes were on the girl in front of him as she turned around, a little too quickly for her condition to give that lovely smile she reserved only for him. Gray rushed to take her in his arms when her legs finally gave out, she sighed heavily with exhaustion but was still delighted to be in the arms of her Gray-sama.

- « Reckless idiot, didn't I tell you not to overdo it? » He mumbled but his tone was too soft and filled with so much affection to be considered as anger.

Juvia smiled as she looked at him gently, «Thank you, for catching Juvia Gray-sama.» Her voice was almost a whisper but he heard her, his arms tightening around her naturally as she wrapped an arm around his neck as fatigue overtook her.

- « Always» He murmured with a soft smile, watching her as he adjusted her into a comfortable position against his chest. « Rest Juvs.» He said sensing her struggle to keep her eyes open, and that was all she needed to close her eyes in the embrace of the man she loved, feeling the familiar security envelop her.

-«DID YOU SEE THAT!!! GRAY FULLBUSTER OF FAIRY TAIL IS CARRYING JUVIA LOCKSER IN A PRINCESS LIKE STYLE SO NATURALLY!!! WERE THE RUMORS TRUE THEN?! THEY ARE REALLY DATING!!?? COOL COOL COOOOL!!» Jason's voice exclaimed through the speakers and Gray winced slightly while hurrying his steps to the hallway, blushing madly and swearing under his breath in embarrassment.

The Gray of two years ago would have yelled, accusing them of talking nonsense, but he wasn't the same Gray now - at least, not when it came to Juvia. He was, now, the man who could protect his woman, he could handle a little embarrassment now and then, if it was for her sake. He no longer denied his feelings for Juvia, she had held his heart for far longer than he would admit, and he was finally ready to give her the love she deserved without holding anything back, just as she had done all these years. After all, that was his goal when he decided to go on the hundred-years quest seven months ago: to become a man who could protect her and then go, get her no matter what.

He glanced down at the sleeping girl in his arms, he had achieved his goal, and he’d confess to her properly soon, much sooner than she expects. And this time, I'll wait for you to wake up, not the other way around. He thought as he tightened his arms around her protectively and headed for the infirmary.

Don’t take too long to wake up Juvia, don't make us wait anymore because I can't wait to be with you.

****

Thank you for reading.

Follow my book « The moment our eyes met on Wattpad » if you like my work :

https://www.wattpad.com/story/185899274-the-moment-our-eyes-met

[angela-luntian]

Stirdie wasn't always a person on his own. He used to be something far lower.

OC character background below:

Long ago he was a servant for a king that most people today might not even recall. A comedian, who was forced to be jester by some long-ago matriarch with a penchant for satire. It was probably out of spite though, the way he was plucked from his home and foster children so carelessly and then forever chained to the side of the queen until crowns passed again.

She wasn't too terrible. The pay was shit, his children forced to grow up without much of him, and the heavy stripping of his identity as the new jester doesn't really scream healthy workplace environment. But he still had his own autonomy.

The next king was stiff. He became less of a jester and more of an entertainer by force. When he cannot make her laugh, the next best thing was to keep her occupied.

She was sadistic. She saw him more as a toy. It messed up majority of his human programming. Endless days of feeling stimulated hunger, thirst, and drowsiness.

By this era, Stirdie had fallen in love with someone within the court and planned to escape. However, the same king ordered he was to be bound by kinetic energy (via wind up key), which caused a side effect in which he only retained memories per session he was wound up. He would lose recollection of anything that happened every time he's wound again.

He and the lover effectively lost contact.

The king that came after was compassionate. She ruled the kingdom during the War of a Thousand Butterflies. During her reign, Stirdie saw a return to form: finally seen as an employee and earning a liveable wage. During this time he meets his adopted son, Oswald, and reunites with his previous lover, who was now grown and approaching retirement.

The long-living elves that knew him couldn't bear the sight of him talking nonsense once the king asked to make her laugh. Proven useless than to be eye candy, the king took pity and delegated him to cleaning staff, which pays just the same to be honest.

The War took this king immediately, which leads us to the king of Today.

This king saw him as a mechanical marvel and took advantage of Stirdie's limited memory, exposing him to all kinds of terrors daily to see a new genuine reaction every time. She took pleasure in the fact that he simulated human necessities such as pissing, eating, and sleeping, and basically tortured him in whatever way she wanted using that.

Stirdie's partner retired but was forced to not see him. Oswald stayed by their side, occasionally being delivered to the castle whenever demanded by either the king or his father.

Thankfully it wasn't too long until Stirdie fucked up so badly that he got exiled. He returned to his partner, different.

When i find the in the in the find the in in when i the

[mydayserenade]

My Dear Starlight

Yunho x OC

rom, angst, fluff (???)

first time playing around w/ this kind of genre so apologies if its shitty

i suggest listening to Fix You by Coldplay cause it will definitely send you to sad hours while reading

"Do you remember the last time we went star-gazing? It was the night before I eventually confessed to you, we were lying on the grass and I was pretty much sleep deprived and alongside handling an empty stomach that was growling" he said and chuckled, reminiscing the sweet moment ever so vividly like it happened just yesterday. Yunho took his attention off the sky and watched silently as his fiance gaze the starry night without even noticing him staring at her like she was the brightest thing to ever exist as of the moment, which has always been a thing for them to do to each other... but mostly Yunho.

"I do dummy, can you believe it has been 5 years since then? Time flies so fast" Luna responded, leaning towards her right side to get a closer look at Yunho's visuals "And now here we are, engaged and a few months away from officially tying the knot." she giggled, toying with the necklace that he gave to her during their first anniversary and looked back at the night once more to admire it; the moon dawned on them like a bright spotlight, the sky was as blue as the deep sea, complimenting the shining stars that laced the sky, telling tales of long lost lovers which completed the visually angelic twilight that these two would share for hours.

Yunho looks over to his paramour with the endearment in his doey eyes and smiles ever so sweetly as she laid beside him, interlocking hands with one another and her hair that sprawled like beautiful waves; in a swift move he sits himself up and props Luna to lay down on his chest. Luna responds in a squeak, shocked by the sudden gesture her fiance did.

"Whenever you miss me" Yunho broke the silence between them and rested his cheek on the head of his soon-to-be Mrs. Jeong, she flinches as she felt his warm arms wrap around her chest, feeling his heartbeat going at a slow but steady pace.

"Um, where are you going with this?" she asked confusingly as Yunho snuggled on her neck, inhaling the delicate perfume that he oh so loved whenever she would put it on; he breathes in the intoxicating fragrance and lets out a satisfied sigh before he continued.

"It's just an intrusive thought" he replied and continued to snuggle, "but whenever you miss me while I'm away or when I suddenly get called by the House of Hufflepuff" he said jokingly in the last part, receiving a slap on the arm by her and continued on. "Look up at the night sky and think of me. My mom always told me that I had a special connection with celestial things most especially stars. I thought it was just nonsense she shared with me as a teenager but as I got older and took into consideration the feelings I had and enviroment or situations I was in, I did notice a few things that made me convinced that my mom was indeed right about her speculations." Luna was bewildered, all she could do was laugh. This was the first time she has ever heard of this story from Yunho considering the fact they've been together for 5 years, 24/7, 365 and he would often share his most atrocious memories; even his embarassing ones. She looked up at Yunho who was looking straight at her, showing how perplexed she was by her furrowed brows and confused grin.

"So you're telling me, God decided to make your bloodline 40% human and 60% celestial and as you age the more you feel connected with these things, will somehow tingle in your bones and signal you to shoot supernovas out of your hands like Starfire or some shit whenever it's nightime?" she asks.

"You're phrasing it like it's a crazy Sci-Fi movie Luna, I wasn't even finished." Yunho eyerolls and massages the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh of annoyance. Luna enjoyed teasing him and seeing him all fired up; even if Yunho had a fierce exterior that people would be afraid of approaching, only few knew his childish side and how young at heart he was for things that he loved and took interest in.

"Go on continue, I was just annoying you." she giggles at the sight of him pouting and scrunching up his nose, Yunho takes a deep breath before he proceeds to the next.

"Eversince I was a little boy and when there were times where I had no one to play around with" Yunho looks up at the stars and grows a grin on his face as he points upward "they were always my companion and relate to how I was feeling. Whenever I felt happy, it would always blink at me, become bigger in size and blind me with its light; however when I felt sad, it would always shrink and release very little light. It would sometimes respond to the many queries I had and decisions by its blinking, it somehow felt like I had a mood lamp with me everywhere I go." he crooks his head to the right, scoffing at the many memories of him that flashed in his mind. "Even if I had no one to talk to at that time, as crazy as it sounds, the stars comforted me in a way that is unexplainable."

"It felt like someone understood the things you were going through like no one else has, almost as if you had an alternate you up in the galaxies." Luna looked up at how Yunho admired each white dot with the happiness in his eyes, looking so astonished like a little kid who just visited a candy store for the very first time. She now understood the many moments where he would suddenly look up the sky while driving, walking or even eating and just stare for seconds before eventually returning to what he was doing, almost as if he was thanking the heavens above or checking up on them like they were part of his family.

"You understand now? Whenever that time comes, just look up and I'm there." He whispers in Luna's ear, hands interlocking with hers and giving her a soft kiss on the head. Luna couldn't help but tear up by the gentle gesture Yunho did, the tale he had told and the thought of not seeing him for even a second. He was her rock and she was his, not a day would go by if they did not see each other in between the hours.

"I do Yunho, I do." she sits up and faces Yunho, cupping his face with her warm hands with Yunho gently caressing it and gives him a gentle kiss on the lips.

6 years later...

"I'm here" Luna whispered, standing in the middle of the silent and deserted park which was quiet enough to hear her; holding onto her precious necklace, she looked up the sky, admiring the white dots that scattered the sky. The stars were a bit different from normal, they were shining and twinkling more and more, almost as if it was calling out to her in morse code.

"You should really try and hide your excitement to a bare minimum, see this is why I never planned any surprise parties with you" she scoffed and sat down on the grass, closing her eyes and completely taking in the midnight breeze that brushed against her skin and blew on her hair. She lets out a sigh and toyed with the golden chain that was entangled on her fingers, feeling every abrasion and imperfection this necklace presented.

"You're probably wondering why I am here at 3 am in the morning" she said, fluttering her eyes to a vast field with streetlights surrounding it, "Awww man" Luna laughed, "You're most likely gonna kill me if I went out especially in this hour, well truth be told Mr. Jeong; are you battling me now with this cold gust of wind you blow?"

No one responds.

"I thought so too." she said under her breath as she hangs her head down, taking a deep breath before she continued to talk.

"I came here because I couldn't really sleep well these past few days and" she starts to choke up, sniffling and trying her absolute best to not break down, that's the last thing he would want Luna to do... especially in a time like this. "I don't know" she shrugs, rubbing her hands on her face. "I've been in my head too much, I've been emotionally unstable for the first time in a long time and I'm just" she suddenly pauses while a million thoughts circulates her mind. She urged herself to keep a strong and stable state for the past 6 years in front of friends and family, always say she was doing alright and all but deep down inside she was suffering the greatest loss of all and couldn't even bare to hold it in any longer.

"Yunho I'm so so so sorry" she lets out her tears, hysterically wailing on the field. She clutches her heart, completely lost her sense of reality and just wanted to scream out the pain and tiredness she has been holding on for the past few years, hiding behind a facadé so that people around her would not have to feel the burden that she might put on them. The countless nights of tear stained pillows and fake happy days were all weeped away at this night, she looks up at the skies; frozen and chanting swear words like a maniac.

"I'm sorry for not noticing sooner how much you suffered on the inside, for being such an asshole to you during those times and for not being enough of a friend and wife to you." she whimpered, losing all her might to prop herself up. In a graceful fall she lands on the grass, curled up, shiverring and clutching her knees amidst the cold breeze and moist grass under her.

"I'm a terrible person, I'm a fucking disgrace, and yet somehow I still exist in this world when it should've been you who is still alive. I tried my best to not worry you every night by saying I was doing okay, that I was living good and this and that, but for the past few days..." she closes her eyes and squeezes the pendant with her palm as tears streamed endlessly down her cheeks, "The wave of guilt just hit me harder than ever and I honestly am not so sure I can carry on this shameful life that only keeps me breathing."

From the day she knew up until his deathbed, Yunho never wanted Luna to see him at his worst neither did he want her to struggle and pity him, but his condition allowed Luna to see her beloved slowly succumb bit by bit. As much as she wanted to help him; he would always brush it off, plaster on his dimpled smile and please her in the best of his abilities and strength even if his state wasn't the way it was before. He did not want Luna to regret the moments she had with him and only fill her memories with the pain that he had felt and the hardships he's going through. She didn't agree to any of his ordeals but he had tried and persuaded her to commit to his wishes, in the end however; it would only lead to many arguements and her cursing him out. Eventually she caved in and did the best she could to seize the days, nights and hours with the presence of her one and only love yet deep down inside she was guilty of not helping with his condition and wanted to cater to his medical needs even if she had to travel miles away to get what he asks for.

"I respected your wishes, I carried on the many months with you with a positive outlook and a cheery personality. I was happy during those times I'll admit, because I was by your side everyday until the last second of you breathing, but at the back of my mind I knew I should've gone against what you wanted me to do and assist to your needs." she runs her hand through her hair, fuming at the thought of herself not doing her part during the days of Yunho's struggles. "You told me that I shouldn't feel guilty as this isn't my fault that you were diagnosed with this and it isn't my business to meddle around something like this, but goddamnit Yunho" she breathes uncontrollably as tears yet again pools in her eyes "I'm your fucking wife! I'm your best friend! I have been with you for as long as I can remember and I have made a vow to you that I'm gonna take care of you and nurture you when needed until our hair turns gray and we are all wrinkled." She bursts into annoyance and disappointment. None of what she did made perfect sense to her, all she wanted was to cry and rewind time so that she can make up for the past mistakes she's done and the many regrets she wanted to be erased in her mind. Luna didn't have the energy to continue on and she just lied in the grass, sprawled out and cried until her lungs gave out. She felt pain, she felt disappointment, she felt useless, she felt defeated.

A blinding light then hovers over Luna's exhausted and tearstained body, at first she did not mind this but as the light lingered on her for how many minutes now, she was irritated to this God-like halo that did not want to leave her be. She then slowly opens her eyes and was immediately welcomed to a soft, bright and white light that the moon shined on her, way different from the previous. The stars then aligned, creating a mystical ceiling that somehow calmed Luna's nerves and distract her away from her thoughts, it shined excitingly but twinkled in a calm matter. Luna was in awe at how much beauty the sky emmited, she had completely felt relaxed and wiped the tears that streamed down her face. She goes on to bask under the moonlight and stars, breathing in and out and feeling liberated and worry-free, something she has never felt ever since Yunho was put to rest.

"Now I truly understand what you meant." she mumbled, feeling lighter than ever. Luna then proceeds to put back her shoes on and did a flying kiss to the air multiple times before she left the park. "I think I know what I need to do now." she smiled and took a deep breath.

"Thank you for giving me something I never believed in but eventually found myself with you, love." she sighs lovingly as she gets up and moves towards her car. She takes one last look at the stars and glances down the necklace she has been holding. "Thank you for tonight, see you soonest, my dear starlight."