#he never got to grow up and he did a terrible job helping to raise Sam

[anassemblageofpassions]

The thing that’s so beautiful about dean Winchester is that. He’s been conditioned to be the ultimate caretaker. And he’s absolutely awful at it.

[dark-konohagakure2]

Hi 💞 I love your content. Can I get Shisui using his Kotoamatsukami on his younger sister to brainwash her into loving him and him alone + non-con's her, please?

tw: incest, sibling incest, noncon, blowjobs, brainwashing, Kotoamatsukami, praise, infantilization, love bombing

All characters depicted are 18+

Shisui's little sister is the most precious person in the entire world to him, their parents aren't in the picture so he practically had to raise her on his own from a young age, which has made him very overprotective of her. But she's growing up too fast right before his very eyes, and Shisui does not like that one bit.

While she is an adult, she's still Shisui's baby sister, his precious little girl, and the mere thought of her talking to other men and possibly being harmed or taken advantage of by them is enough to make the Uchiha's blood boil, so after much careful consideration, he decides that he needs to take some preventative measures.

Kotoamatsukami is an ocular jutsu that can only be used once a decade, so Shisui has to be very careful how he uses it, and he can't think of a better use of it than protecting the most precious person in his entire world. He feels somewhat conflicted at first, but his love for his sister wins out over any reservations he might have had.

It's almost laughably easy, he just needs to look her in the eye for a second, and all of a sudden she's all over him, clinging to him and bawling her eyes out, babbling on about how she never wants him to leave her and how she loves Nii Nii more than anything. Shisui will feign surprise and immediately comfort her, his pants growing unbearably tight as he does so.

"Woah there..! Baby, it's okay... Your big bro loves you more than anything else in the world... if you really want that, then you don't ever have to leave my side ever again..."

Shisui can't remember the last time he's been this happy, he missed her calling him Nii Nii and being his little girl so much, and it's been so long since he last got to hold her in his arms. But Shisui is only a man, and he can't control his darker urges for very long, but luckily for him his precious little angel doesn't mind helping her big brother out.

He'll feel a twinge of guilt for taking advantage of her altered state of mind, but any guilt he might be feeling is instantly replaced with pure bliss as he feels her lips clumsily wrap around his cock. Shisui often fisted his cock late at night to thoughts of his sister pleasuring him with her mouth, and now that it's finally happening he's in complete ecstasy.

Shisui isn't rough with her at all, no he'd never do anything to hurt his beloved sister, in fact he'll be incredibly gentle considering that he's technically forcing her, stroking her hair gently and consoling her if she's choking and gagging on his cock too much, and he's more than sure to let her know what a good job she's doing and how good she's making him feel.

He'll end up reaching his peak rather quickly, he can't help it when his most deviant and depraved fantasies are finally coming true, and with the most dear person to him too. Shisui will cum directly down her throat, filling her tummy with his cum while he tells her how incredibly happy she has just made him.

"F-Fuck..! G-Good girl, baby, good girl... You did such a good job, Nii Nii loves you so so much, honey..."

In the end Shisui is incredibly glad that he decided to use his Kotoamatsukami on her, he knows it's a terrible thing to do to his own sister, but she's blissfully unaware and just happy to be with her brother all the time, and he gets to have his baby sister all to himself, so in the end he sees it as a win win.

[molsno]

god, what happens next is so good. the character writing is just spectacular. it fascinates me just how much depth there is to each character and how that contributes to the story.

milo's dni is the most revealing thing about him, and it's the very first thing we hear from him:

right off the bat, we can see what kind of person the protagonist is. he's a pastel softboi trans man who clings to a childish aesthetic to appear weak and non-threatening. despite being involved in a toxic relationship with another trans guy who attempted to rape and kill an 11 year old girl when he was a teenager and later murdered his girlfriend, which milo helped with by dismembering her corpse, he puts "pedophiles and unhealthy pairing shippers dni" on his carrd. which, ok, maybe he wants to distance himself from people like griffin now - except that's not really true, because he talks to, moves in with, and regularly hangs out with a serial killer fan who idolizes griffin and is even dating the guy while he's in prison. he puts "being against neopronouns" and "anti-otherkin" on the same level as those things. he explicitly denies any responsibility in the murders of haylie and savannah, despite having literally chopped haylie's arm off. all the while, he has "you deserve to heal" in big bold letters, while not applying that belief to anyone but himself.

right from the start, it's obvious that milo is not a good person. but he's also humanized throughout the story. sure, some of his softboi persona is a means of victimizing himself to avoid taking responsibility for what he did - and you could make the case that he was a victim in some ways. on the other hand, he also never got to grow up because he spent 5 years in a psychiatric institute. is it any surprise that he clings to the same aesthetic, interests, and hobbies he had when he was 15? he never got to stop being a kid, and how is he supposed to now? he didn't graduate high school, he can't get a job, and nobody wants to be friends with him because of what he did. it raises uncomfortable questions - namely, what happens next? milo served his time for the crime he committed as a minor. he was already punished, but now he has to live the entire rest of his life. what is he supposed to do?

that, I think is the most interesting part of this story. almost every character in this story makes it hard for you to like them, but they also have very human reasons for doing the terrible things that they do. I'll talk about some of my favorites under the read more, but be aware that there will be spoilers:

claire is one of the most interesting characters to me, just because of how unlikable she is.

when we first see claire in victim impact statement, she tries to ignore haylie, griffin, and milo as much as possible. she doesn't even seem to like her sister. she treats haylie as a nuisance for coming into the room that they share as sisters. she doesn't want to go to the open mic night to listen to haylie play her ukulele. when she finds haylie bawling her eyes out in the bathroom at anime central, she just looks away, as if to say "you chose to date your shitty boyfriend". when she hears haylie and griffin fighting upstairs, she just pretends not to hear it. when haylie is curled up in terror later, claire puts on headphones and turns her back to her. her headphones become a way of drowning out haylie's screams when griffin is around, and because of that, she doesn't hear haylie screaming for her life, and ends up finding her corpse in the kitchen.

that's why I don't find it surprising at all that she becomes an outspoken transphobe who wants to take her anger out on the trans people who murdered her sister. she goes to media events and publicly degenders milo and griffin. she calls aaron's friends trannies. I think it's easy to misconstrue her as a terf, but she literally doesn't even pay lip service to feminism. how could she? she knew that her sister was being abused by her boyfriend, and she did nothing. let me remind you that she lives in a house where "smash the patriarchy" is embroidered on the wall. she doesn't care about any of that. she just wants a scapegoat. she wants to make the law impose harsher punishments on minors who commit violent crimes because she doesn't know what else to do with her life. she very clearly hates herself, becoming an alcoholic to cope with her guilt. she pretends to care about haylie and fight for this law because it's the only way she can convince herself she's a good person, even though she can see that doing what she's doing is turning everyone against her.

and then that brings us to audrey. it's difficult to like her, too, because she's dating claire despite all of the horrible things she's doing. but at the same time, I can see where she's coming from. her mother died of cancer and she and all of her other black siblings were adopted by conservative christian white parents. she's still christian to this day, and makes a point of separating herself from "criminals" by insisting that she has nothing to do with them because she goes to church and takes care of her family. she doesn't want to disavow the law that claire worked so hard to pass because at the end of the day, it won't affect her personally, even though she is aware that the justice system disproportionately punishes black people. she very clearly has a lot of internalized racism, and I think that's best exemplified in the way she draws herself. despite having pretty dark skin in real life, she draws herself as light skinned as claire, her white girlfriend:

like, it's hard to like audrey, but you can clearly see why she's made all of the decisions she has! she idolizes claire because it's her first lesbian relationship. the way she sees it, claire can do no wrong. audrey does actually seem to be aware that her girlfriend is doing terrible things, but she essentially just plugs her ears and tries to ignore it. that's why she doesn't go to claire's campaign events. she ignores all of her girlfriend's flaws because claire is essentially her savior. because she has claire, she doesn't have to go back to her family, to her abusive alcoholic white father. she doesn't have to actually take care of her younger siblings, which is a responsibility she's foisted off unto mark. that's why she ignores that claire is just as much of an emotional drain as her father. she's highly depressed, she's an alcoholic, she trashes their bedroom (leaving audrey to clean up after her mess), she puts up an emotional wall and dismisses audrey's attempts to comfort her, and dismisses audrey's own problems as being less traumatizing and less important. by all accounts, claire is a terrible girlfriend and a terrible person, but because audrey idolizes her as her savior, she stays by her side. I'm really looking forward to seeing how she reacts to claire's disappearance in future chapters.

and then of course, there's vikki. she's been doing something incredibly disrespectful for years by making true crime videos where she talks about the victims and killers like it's all a joke. she makes a video about whether ethical necrophilia is possible, and makes a callous, bitter joke that the concept of "respect for the dead" is antiquated, because nobody respects her as a trans woman of color even though she's still alive. for this comment, people have harassed her online endlessly, enough that she had to make a video called "STOP TELLING PEOPLE I FUCK CORPSES". that doesn't stop her from making a video about the murder of haylie, complete with an interview from milo. she'll throw him under the bus if it means getting the attention off herself for a bit.

and yet, I think out of everyone, I feel the most compassion for vikki. yes, she used milo for content and called him a "sad little blonde girl", but I can understand where she's coming from! like, again, she's a trans woman of color in the true crime community. she knows the archetype milo is trying so hard to be in order to avoid taking responsibility for what he did. like, I've personally seen trans women of color who are victimized by white trans men who pull the same exact shtick as milo over and over, so I completely understand her frustration. that said, she also realized she went too far and tried to apologize, only to find out she was blocked and that milo basically wrote a callout post against her. I think it says a lot that vikki was one of the only people to actually try to talk to milo, even if the way she went about it was wrong.

vikki does things that are disrespectful, but to be honest, it's not that surprising! she grew up in a 90% white town in the middle of nowhere, got assaulted by multiple white boys for being a faggot, got sent to alternative school, worked for a funeral home as a teenager, and transitioned. not only is she desensitized to death, she's angry that people revere the dead more than her.

it's astounding, really! what happens next is so well written because it makes you feel conflicted about each of its characters. what are we supposed to do with these people who do awful things? a lot of the intrigue in this comic comes from seeing how each of the characters handles this question as they deal with the other characters who have done terrible things, while they themselves are deeply flawed as well. I think the writing really forces you to contend with the idea that these are all still people, and that their humanity needs to be recognized even if they do terrible things. it makes you ask, what happens next?

[cosmicladyy]

// not smut, but not exactly pg //

If there was one thing Bowser enjoyed doing the most in the entire world, it was being a ruler.

It filled him with pride whenever he'd give his kingdom a once over, marveling at how much it's grown and developed. His home has never looked better, in his humble opinion.

From the blindingly bright jewels that glitter so prettily in his treasure room from numerous raids to the unwavering loyalty of his many citizens, he was a force to be reckoned with.

there was a weight of respect that came with being the King of the Koopas.

The only thing better than that? Being married to you.

The day he was officially able to call you his was one of the proudest days of his life. After ruling alone for (not that) many years, he finally had an equal to sit next to him and enjoy the spoils of his thriving kingdom.

Someone to help him shoulder any burden that might fall on him to fix. Someone to hold him when he's able to relax after a grueling day of ordering his minions around.

Someone who gets to see him.

he also wasn't opposed to the handsome statues of him that would pop up in various places around the kingdom.

what he didn't like doing, was sitting through meeting after meeting every few weeks with his minions about what they did/didn't do in their assigned jobs around the growing kingdom.

no matter how many times he'd moan and groan about it being 'a complete waste of time' and 'something a super cool king should NOT be doing', he'd always be dragged out by the horns by either you or on the very rare chance, Kamek.

you'll admit, it's not the most fun way you could be spending the afternoon, but it's a necessity to keep the kingdom in order.

he'd try to postpone or get out of it, none of which worked because he wasn't as sneaky as he'd like to think he is.

he once tried to skip it because he claimed he was terribly wounded earlier that day and needed to recover.

(it was a papercut)

Today's focus was mainly touching on any reports or disturbances the minions had from the patrols. Bowser knew that there wasn't anything major that needed his attention, but it was protocol in the kingdom to discuss any and everything that they'd seen.

At least, that's what Kamek said.

He could already feel the headache coming as he begrudgingly got ready, perched on his side of the bed.

"Why can't one of the koopas step in for me? not like anyone'll notice the difference." He tried to bargain, buckling on his signature spiked wristbands.

"I doubt it, you're the only one of your...stature." a grumble is your only answer.

you barely paid any mind to your spikey husband's whiny ramblings, too busy primping yourself for the meeting. you offer him a pensive 'hmm.' and turn to him.

"How do I look?" You ask, giving him a small twirl to take you in, as the fabrics you've dressed yourself in move with you.

"Ehh.." He shakes his hand from side to side.

"Jerk!" You gasp and jump at him, earning a belly laugh as he barely tries to fight off your punches to his firm side, even though they don't hurt him in the slightest. "Easy there, sweetheart, only joking." He grabs your hips carefully and straddles you over his lap.

"You're absolutely stunning, no matter what you wear."

even after all that time together, you can still feel your face heat up at his compliment.

wrapping your arms around his neck, you softly kiss his snout and smile at him lovingly, "Keep talking."

he chuckles deeply and lets out a puff of hot air through his nose.

"you're absolutely alluring. I find myself lucky to be in your presence."

a giggle bubbles in your throat as you bury your face in his scaly neck.

"y'know.." his claws run up and down your back slowly, "we don't have to start on time."

"Oh?" you lean back and raise an eyebrow at him.

"S'not like the throne room's goin' anywhere." you can practically feel him undressing you in his mind as his fiery eyes look you up and down.

you bring your hands up to his rough face and bring him closer, "Someone's feeling needy."

"when it comes to you? always."

you chucked at his attempts and pull away.

"Nice try." you tease, relishing in the dumbfounded look that materializes on the Koopa king's face, and give his cheek a pinch, "C'mon, it's about to start."

your only answer is a deep, bellowing growl as you hop out of his grip.

____

As expected, he was bored to pieces,

Guard after Guard, General after General, he absentmindedly nods in acknowledgment as they drone on about their shifts. Whenever he felt they fell short of their jobs, he'd 'loudly encourage' them to do better.

("Be nice," you whispered at him harshly after he reprimanded a shy guy for delaying an expected shipment from the kongs.

"Well, I would be if I had more competent men," he growled back.

"Watch it.")

He's particularly ticked after learning about a recent run-in with a certain denim-wearing tumbler.

"What do you mean he 'outran' you?" He tensely questioned a high-ranking Koopa who patrolled the outskirts of dark lands, wings nervously twitching behind him.

"H-he, uh, managed to slip into a pipe at the last second, your majesty."

from where you were sitting, you could see him start to sweat bullets as your husband balls up his fist tightly, the fire deep within him close to erupting out of his sharp-toothed mouth.

As he prepares to fire off in a harsh tangent, you quickly jump from your seat and address the general.

"I'm sure you've tried your best, I know slippery he can be," not really, you've probably met him a few times, "just be on the lookout next time and keep up the good work."

The koopa rings his hands out as he shakily glances over at Bowser, who seethes quietly from his seat and looks like he's two seconds away from frying him alive. The general looks back at you gratefully and nods, spouting how he'll be faster next time and won't let you down; he was also thanking you a hundred times over for saving him from scorching demise.

As he moves back to his place in the room, another general, a goomba, steps forward and begins his report.

The giant Koopa next to you lets out an annoyed groan, earning his righthand's attention and a light smack to the arm from you. he sinks lower into his throne and taps his nails on the headrest, counting down the seconds until he's relieved from duty.

Sensing his king's rapidly decreasing mood, Kamek clears his throat and hurriedly addresses the crowd.

"His Royal Highness has graciously allowed time for a fifteen-minute break and not a minute longer. Return here on time or else." The old Magikoopa threatens.

A resounding breath of relief fills the throne room as the varying generals and lackeys all walk out, occasionally bumping into each other to leave as quickly as possible.

Kamek quickly dismisses himself in a cloud of pink and leaves you two alone.

whipping your head around, you lightly glare at your royal pain in the ass.

"Y'know, you could pretend to be interested in what they're saying."

all you get is a "feh." and a backhanded wave as he plops his chin into his clawed hand, holding himself up on the armrest closest to you.

an exasperated sigh escapes your lips. at this rate, he'll burn the place to the ground from boredom and annoyance; or at the very least, turn a few unsuspecting koopas into skeletons.

bribery should work, you think as you lean closer to his aggravated form.

"I'll let you do that thing you really like," you whispered huskily, running a hand up his scaly arm.

almost comically, he shoots up straight on his throne and excitedly looks over at you, "Really?"

"If you make it without yelling at anybody else," you add on.

watching the gears turn in his head, a smug look sweeps across his face, "how about a sample?"

he chuckles at the roll of your eyes but is quickly rendered silent as you pull him in by his collar, your lips connecting with his own.

his eyes slide shut as he feels you move your hands from to hold onto his broad shoulders.

the kiss, starting sweet and welcoming, is quick to turn passionate and heavy as you both chase one another, refusing to part for air.

you briefly pull away, only to hop from your throne to his and straddle his lap, similar to the position you were in a few hours ago.

he chases after your lips and pulls you in, sealing your lips together as he claws at your top, the other slowly climbing up your thigh.

the air around you is steadily growing hot, the previous silence being filled with moans and groans of a different nature from both of you.

bowser pulls a breathy, loud moan out of you as he grinds into you in a way that has you seeing stars. a growl rumbles deep in his chest as you run your nails along his fiery, red hair by his neck.

as quickly as it started, it ended when you pulled away, having already heard the echoing marching from the incoming troops.

bowser narrows his ruby-red eyes at you as his chest heaves, "So that's how you wanna play it?"

his only answer is a satisfied smirk as you fix yourself in your seat as if you didn't just pull him into a soul-searing makeout session.

the doors are swung open as guards of different sizes pile into the room once again, random conversations filling the once-quiet atmosphere.

You greet the returning group with a smile, watching as they take their seats and mentally prepare to hear the rest of the reports.

Kamek appears right next to the larger koopa in the same cloud he left in and looked expectingly at his king, "Shall we continue?"

You can practically feel his piercing gaze on the side of your face before hearing him whisper to his advisor.

"How about a quick bathroom break?"

"Bowser!"

[creepypasta-meh-dudes]

Slender family hc's (Lore and facts in my Au)

Splendorman:

(facts and little specks of lore)

The oldest of all of the siblings

Raised by his father and mother….they did NOT do a very good job.

He was very tough to grow up with, he could switch up quickly and easily.

He was very manipulative as well, and is still manipulative even now, but has worked on it.

He’s very possessive of his siblings, but most of all Slenderman. When Slenderman met Zalgo, Slender had to hide his friendship because he knew what Splendor’s reaction would be (something terrible that I’ll talk about later)

The reason Splendor was so possessive of Slender was because of how gullible Slenderman was…he’d almost never question anything he was told to do by anyone older than him (this was just the way Slenders were raised to be)

Even though Splendor was pretty messed up, he still did his best to care for his siblings..even though his love was very…tough.

“Rules for thee but not for me” kind of guy…

He was a functional alcoholic. 

The smile and eyes on his face are fully functional. He is also known as an incomplete because he has no way of switching to a completely natural looking Slender or Human. He just stays looking exactly like how he looks now.

…If you haven’t guessed yet, he envies his other brother’s abilities to shift almost completely.

Offenderman:

Second oldest

Believe it or not, he was one of the most reasonable of the older half of the siblings

He was the one who did the most to try and get Splendor to ease up on Slenderman.

For work, Offenderman was a hitman. (This deeply affected his view on humans and the world)

He hated Splendorman’s drinking, but Offenderman fell into that addiction as well as smoking. 

He was doing his very best to provide for the family, and since he was the best at shifting from human to Slender form, he was the one who could work in the human world the best.

Tenderman:

Was the most reasonable of the older half of the brothers.

He was very patient and kind. He sort of took on a motherly role.

He typically took care of cooking, cleaning, and caring for the younger siblings.

Tenderman was the one who took care of Slenderman the most when he was sick. (He still helps him even now during flare ups)

Fun Fact: his favorite season is Winter.

He was the most respectful of boundaries

He didn’t have a very good relationship with Splendorman. He thought Splendorman was too cruel (which he was…)

When it came to making decisions he spoke to Offenderman about these things because he was the other most stable in the home.

Slenderman:

1st of the younger half of siblings

He’s one year older than Trenderman

Started working for Zalgo’s father when he was young

…Got attached to Zalgo

BETRAYAL

Boom, trust issues up the wazoo

Got Slender sickness.

Had to be taken care of for several years. It weakened his limbs as well so he had to use a cane.

Appreciated everything Trenderman did for him while he was sick.

Spent a lot more time with Surrenderman. Helped him learn to read during this time as well.

He also began to realize how much Splendor was manipulating the family, and how Splendor targeted him

He withdrew from Splendorman slowly…

He also got closer with Trenderman after Trenderman began to have trouble with his love life

Trenderman

Oh boy…oh boy oh boy oh boy….

REBELLION

He didn’t care if Splendor got mad, he’d do it anyway,

He snuck out, he snuck people in, he wore what he wanted, and he did what he wanted.

He and Slender DID NOT have a good relationship.

He always thought Slender was babied…(He was not in fact babied, he was VERY SICK and needed a lot of care)

Trenderman was a middle child. He wanted attention, he just almost never got it.

Tenderman always tried his best to spend time with him though, even though that wasn’t the attention Trenderman wanted.

Trenderman wanted attention from his father and mother….he…never got that.

So he started seeking that attention from other people. People he slept with and dated.

He got heartbroken a few too many times.

And he withdrew from people.

During this, that’s when he started to get closer with Slenderman. Because Slender understood what loneliness was like.

He also realized what Slender was going through, and saw him more as a brother than competition.

Trenderman’s love for clothing started when he was 12 btw, he worked as a tailor for several years and then sort of went off to do his own clothing line later on 

He was closest with Offenderman growing up.

Surrenderman

The youngest 

He was the closest to Slenderman of all the brothers, and is still with him today,

He has a stutter that he was born with (his is genetic, his human mother had a stutter and it was passed on to him)

Slender helped him with his stutter as well as making sure Surrender knew it wasn’t his fault and that he shouldn’t be ashamed of it. (Surrender was very ashamed of his stutter because of things Splendor and his father would say to him about it. While Splendor would try to “encourage” him to speak louder, it would also become toxic and demeaning, and Surrender’s father was very cruel, telling him to “learn to speak properly, or don’t speak at all”)

Surrenderman has a passion for cooking! He liked to watch Trenderman cook and bake.

Back Surrenderman being with Slenderman to this day, I mean he lives with Slenderman.

Surrenderman, while his stutter got better, he’s still just a very timid person in general. (this has nothing to do with his stutter, that’s just how he is as a person), and he was never able to find a place to live on his own, so now he lives with him.

Slender finds him the most tolerable of the brothers.

[peachesancreams]

Extended Wives

Sorry this took forever, lifes been kicking my butt and keeping me busy unfortunately so i havent ben able to have time to write, back to it tho!

Husk's Partner

To start with these two sour pusses they meet in a bar a year or two before WW2. (Husk gives me soldier vides and him enlisting to the Korean war didn't make sense, world war 2 however? made a bit more sense to me.)

The reason that they actually got married was because of their families actually. Brennan Feidlimid McKabe and Cian Aodhan O'Flaherty were both unmarried and seemed to have no plans to get with anyone anytime soon. What were their poor Irish immigrant families to do! Husk, once Cian, was raised by his immigrant grandfather and Brennans mother had been pregnant with her on the ride over to the states, basically giving birth once they'd touched American soil.

While it had been arranged Bren and Husk actually got along very well. She never really minded his heavy drinking, the most he did to her is make a pass at her and well that's more then most husbands. She didn't mind the drunken sex as Husk was a giving lover.

However she never fully put down her walls. Probably because of her parents relationship, but she never tried to get to know Husk. He was a decent man after all, but she just...was waiting for him to. Do something.

They never talked about it and though it wasn't spoken of, it was certainly the underling cause of many fights between them. The the whole world blew up in a war again, thing was they both were only teens when the first world war had broken out. They'd called it The Great War growing up thinking it'd be the only one. It was also the reason Bren's da had...changed.

Husk wanted to enlist, and while Bren could see why it was good or him to do so. She was afraid. She didn't want him to come back different like her dad did, she didn't want to finally see what kind of monster will emerge from this.

Brennan sat down with him and told him straight that if he comes home he can drink himself to oblivion but don’t become mean without cause. Don’t be cruel to her or anyone else.

Husk had kissed her hands and cheeks promising to not be terribly changed and to come home. She didn’t really expect him to keep either of those promises, war is a hard thing to come back from after all.

Bren let him make love to them on that couch after that conversation. Then they did it again because well, she didn’t really expect him to be loyal to her and her alone while deployed. Did tell him she’d take a lover herself to pass the time as well.

Of course a fat lie, she…liked him. It wasn’t long after he left for basic training and then off to a platoon or unit.

Brennan went to work of course, as many women did. Liked the hard work and building up a sweat, liked the camaraderie that comes from being around like minded women.

I see them having lived near Seattle, Washington, so Bren worked on Boeing B-17s!

Took having to leave the work force hard, but didn’t try to make them make her stay. Went home with her newly learned skill and don’t just mean drilling.

House broke down a few times so she rolled up her sleeves, went to the library to get a Plumbing for Dummies book (probably didn’t exist but whatever was the equivalent) and went to work fixing. Helped some of the wives in the neighborhood as well.

Then the war ended, ladies needed to hand back the jobs and go back to their lives with their husbands. Bren was looking forward to Husk being home, but she had liked working and was one of the many disappointed to have to leave it.

Husk had changed, many men had. Thankfully he didn't become violent but they both became poorer then they'd ever been their entire lives.

Drinking had always been Husk's vice but when money started going missing Brennan looked into where it could be going. Thinking at the time his infidelity had crossed the ocean back with him. That's when she learned of his newer vice, gambling.

Introduced to him while on leave overseas, Husk grew a taste for the highs of it. The money didn't hurt either when he was on a hot streak. But the lows hit hard when you don't have the consistent funds to keep that up. And they had both been raised poor, many men had fallen into similar habits so Brennan knew the signs.

They had ignored them however, a mistake on their part really. They should have talked with him. Done something before it got real bad! But they didn't. And then that night happened....

On a foggy spring night in the 1950's Husk had went out gambling.

He had come in like a hurricane, sweeping through the house grabbing some clothes and packing frantically. She remember waking up due to the noise and groggily asking whats wrong.

He hadn't said anything back, that is what got her attention. Sitting up she'd asked all kinds of questions, but he didn't say anything. Asked him why, what she did, where is he going, and more she can't recall.

Followed him out of their room down the hall and to the front door. It's there he finally spoke, but it wasn't a answer to any of her questions.

"I wish I had more time to love you better. You deserve that but all you got was my love. I'll probably lose that too when I leave..." Then he had kissed them as they had been too confused to think of anything to say. They'd cried like they were some teenager, snot and tears with those heavy sobs.

It was the last the saw of him, but they heard what happened years later....

[cultofdixon]

Fight for Yourself, Fight for Me

Daryl Dixon [PLATONIC] • They/Them Pronouns • You were always going to be your father’s little archer…even when all the responsibility for several lives rest on your shoulders • ANGST/SFW • TW: Anxiety Attacks / Nightmares / PTSD / Scars / Canon Violence / Illness / Injuries / SH Scars / Depression

Requested by: Anon

“Look at that” Lori smiles pointing out to Daryl the way Carl was trailing his kid around the campsite. “What yea think they’re talking about?”

“Anythin’ but the hell going on”

Y/N has always been like that. Talk about anything else BUT what was happening around them. To give people a sense of normalcy back but also for the kids.

“Wait so Batman has like. No superpowers at all? Just that his parents died and now he seeks revenge?”

“I wouldn’t really call it revenge. He never uses a gun. Never kills. Uses his gadgets to catch the bad guy and like. Shakes them down until they spoke” Y/N continues as they loaded up their hunting rifle which on cue made Daryl whistle for them. “Should find you some comics. Doubt it’ll be batman but hopefully something interesting”

Carl was about to ask them more when they started to head toward Daryl and Lori causing him to sprint over.

“Where are you going?”

“Y/N is going hunting with their dad. They’ll be back in a few days”

“Can I go?”

“No Carl. You need to stay here. Where it’s safe”

“But they get to go! They’re a kid—-“

“They are eighteen.” Daryl hands them back their pack as Carl continued to glare slightly. “They are my kid. But an adult to yea”

Y/N couldn’t help but notice the kid’s eagerness to go with them resulting in Daryl growing impatient.

“Y/N we gotta—-“

“I’ll meet yea by the tents, old man” Y/N states hearing him grumble as he left. “Carl you can’t come. Cuz you’ve got an important job here”

“What is it?”

“Hold down the fort. Dad and I are gonna get food, and the Atlanta group is out. Leaving only a few to keep an eye on everybody. Can I trust yea to keep the house afloat?”

Carl nods smiling as Y/N ruffles up his hair smiling themselves.

“Good. Be back in a few days, buddy”

It’s been two so far since they left to track down the deer Daryl had spotted tracks for a bit ago. Y/N followed shortly behind their father staring at their feet for the most part since it’s been a bit with no signs of the deer. They suddenly ran into Daryl when he stood still for a moment catching them off guard.

“I’m not playing statue in the middle of the woods, dad…”

“Did yea want a sibling?”

“That’s random” Y/N scoffs, stepping ahead of him to ready their aim and take the shot on the squirrel. “But no. I like being an only child…would’ve wanted more time with mom though”

“Mm. Me too, kid” Daryl watches their surrounding so they could pick up their catch. “You’re close with that Grimes kid”

“I wouldn’t really say talking about superheroes makes us close”

“You used to only talk to me about superheroes”

“Are you jealous of a child?” Y/N laughs a bit, even more when their dad groaned to the question.

“Nah. Just.” Daryl shrugs kneeling to check the faint tracks to see how long it’s been. “Little shit looks up to yea is all. Don’t want that going to your head”

“I don’t think it will…?”

“Listen. I don’t mean like what the cop is having. The savior complex shit. I’m talking the toll that raising kids can have on somebody” He admits as he picks himself up continuing to follow the tracks with his kid shortly behind him. “You care a lot. You’ve always have been that way…even for people who don’t deserve it. Like Uncle Merle. But I don’t want yea to forget about yourself. How you’re feeling will always matter, kid. I don’t want something terrible happening to make you forget that”

Y/N didn’t know what to reply to that with, but Daryl knew that they understood the best that they can.

Even when he watched their kid grow protective of the youngest Grimes. Then the youngest Greene.

He doesn’t want to lose them, or want them to lose themselves…

“Let’s go hunt” Daryl gestures with his eyes to outside the house the group was currently staying in after the barn burned. “We’ll be back soon”

“Can I come?” Carl tugs at Y/N’s jacket as they quickly shot it down with a new reason of having to keep an eye on his mother for her and the baby’s safety. They managed to get him to listen by giving him tasks that keep him there.

As they were heading out, Rick stopped Daryl talking to him about scavenging places as well as finding whatever meat they can get their hands on. He even tried to join them but Daryl drew his line clearly. He wanted to be alone with his kid, without any more drastic changes.

“I think Andrea could still be alive”

“Maybe” Y/N kicks a door open to one of the abandoned houses in their neighborhood. “She did almost kill you so, I’d let her back in but not with open arms”

“I’m still standing aren’t I?”

“She also gave a knife to Beth when she was thinking of killing herself.” They instantly went toward the kitchen to find any canned foods. “Might have to knock some sense into that son of a bitch before letting her back in. Hell. Not even my decision…everybody following Rick…”

“You’re allowed to share your thoughts, Y/N”

Y/N’s body tensed hearing such as they felt like anything they would say to Rick wouldn’t get anywhere. He and Daryl are one and the same when it comes to protecting their blood…but Rick making all the decisions made it hard to think for oneself.

“Rick won’t listen. He’s just protecting his kid”

“You’re protecting his kid and wife more than he is. You have them your blanket, your extra rations,…hell, saved that kid from walkers more than he did.” Daryl frowns watching Y/N take all the cans they can carry. “I’m looking out for yea, Y/N. I don’t want to lose my kid to somebody else’s short comings…”

“You’re not gonna lose me…I just wish things were different”

I just wish things were different

Y/N frowns watching Maggie stumble out of the prison in tears with a small baby in her embrace. They noticed Carl’s frozen state when he stepped out and how Rick fell apart upon hearing the news of his wife dying. They slowly approached the kid as he looks up at them with a blank expression that suddenly turned to silent tears rolling down his cheeks.

“C’mere kid” Y/N brought Carl into their embrace comforting him the best that they could. All he wanted was to cry for a moment in the comforts of someone who he knows he’ll be safe with.

Their dad’s declare about “not losing another” made everyone act on such. Daryl left with Maggie to get formula for the baby, Hershel checked her out with the help of Beth, the rest of the group took care of investigating the rest of the prison. Leaving Y/N to take care of Carl while Rick was indisposed.

“What was it like for you…”

“What?”

“When your mom died…”

Losing a parent tends to always feel like it just happened yesterday. Even if Y/N was ten when they lost her.

But for context.

Y/N wasn’t a mistake. Or planned really. Daryl hit it off with their mom who was a total stranger he met and asked out one day. First date hit it off to where the slim chance of getting pregnant did indeed happen. He was scared, of course. Didn’t want to be like his father. Didn’t want to be in the bullshit he’s in with Merle with a baby around. But she was ever so kind and patient that the 9 months they had gotten to know one another.

Then life slowly became all about Y/N and both of them were happy on such. Even Merle cleaned up most of his act to be able to spend time with the little one.

Their life was perfect in its own special way. Didn’t need much of anything besides their family.

Missing field trips meant spending time with Daryl at the garage he worked at

Weekends were always a new adventure to anywhere

Bad days were always met with cuddles from their mother

Bullies never bothered to mess with them when Uncle Merle was the one to pick up the kid

The list could go on…and last about ten years. One day Y/N was sat at the couch by both of their parents having a talk about what it means when someone gets really sick. Again, they were ten. Old enough to understand what being sick means, but still young enough to not believe that their mother was sick and one day wasn’t going to come home.

It was sudden. She just. Never came home. The only thing that came home were her belongings and a broken Daryl.

I can never forget the look in my dad’s eyes when he tried so hard to tell me without breaking Y/N frowns looking at Carl with their own pain resurfacing to that question. “One day she was here. The next…she was gone. It’s been years but I’ll always be sad about it. Your mom meant the world to you…the pain will be awful at first, but as life goes on, you’ll always remember the good things you had with your mom. That’s all that matters”

To be frank. Y/N never wanted to become a parent, and in the apocalypse that confirmed matters. They didn’t want to raise a child in a world that they could die at any given moment compared to the old world. Hell. They were still a kid in Daryl’s eyes, always…so when Lori died, this switch in them flipped and all that mattered…was making sure her kids were safe. Taken care of. Loved.

“Y/N coming back today?”

Daryl nods looking up at Carol and her offering of food she has just prepared. He’s been waiting at their spot all morning and was relieved none of the spawn came around to take their attention away. But he thought too soon on the matter when Carl came running over.

“They back yet?”

“Nope. Just waiting” Carol smiles noticing Daryl tense expression. “Hey, how about we go find that favorite blanket of theirs and get it to their watchtower?”

“But I—-“

“Come on. You know they’ll appreciate it more coming from you” Carol smiles directing Carl out of there which relaxed Daryl enough to have a good mood when seeing Y/N’s bike approach the gate and the Woodbury folks took care of opening it to let them in.

As Daryl got up from his spot, Y/N rolls up next to his bike putting the kickstand down before getting off and hugging their dad when he draws close.

“Run into Michonne?”

“Yeah, brought back some of the shit she found along with my findings” Y/N smiles setting their pack down on the bench he was sitting on previously to show him what they’ve got.

“You’re really spoiling them kids” Daryl laughs a bit finding things like books, comics for Carl, formula and baby blankets for Judith, a few clothes for Beth…at least they got canned foods amongst other things that benefit others. “Did yea find what yea needed?”

“No, but it’s cool” Y/N picked up their pack once more to carry it all inside. “There’s also arrows on the back of the bike” and with that last note they went to put everything away and give such to whoever they went out in the run for.

Soon Y/N found themselves on the top bunk of their place trying to rest as Beth laid on the bottom one reading one of her books keeping company.

“How’s Uhm. What’s his face?”

“Zach? We aren’t anythin’” Beth says in a hush whisper in mind of the baby sleeping in its makeshift cradle that was a laundry basket. “I don’t think he notices me”

“I wouldn’t wait for him to make a move. You really like the guy? Just be honest. Honesty doesn’t hurt” Y/N states as Beth rises from her place in the bunk closing the book a bit too loudly making the resident on the top bunk tense.

“Yknow what! Imma do it”

As Beth leaves, Judith started to sob from her spot making the exhausted Y/N rise from their bunk jumping down to the floor before picking up the little baby. They picked up the little baby sitting on the floor leaning against the bunk beds gently rocking the littlest Grimes.

Daryl went to check on them after giving them some time after returning. He stops at the gates finding Judith asleep on their chest as they were also fast asleep with their head back on the bed.

“Someone’s gotta take care of yea” He whispers taking the little baby from them returning the sleeping baby into the basket before carefully picking up his baby and laying them down in the bunk.

It’s been this way for months. Y/N taking trips out and returning with things everybody else needs or ask of them to get. But ultimately forgetting themselves in the mix. And especially the way they are protective over “their” kids that when the illness came through…Rick had carried their passed-out sick form to the cellblock.

When Daryl came back he heard about Y/N and haven’t left their side while they rested. He kept everyone out of their quarantine cell. Wouldn’t let anyone see them because they put everyone else above themselves and granted he should’ve done something sooner about it…but others hardly noticed their struggling.

“Yea ain’t allowed to die. Fuckin’ won’t have it. Told yea that when yer mom died.” Daryl frowns squeezing their hand hearing his heart pound in his ears making him stress even more. “Lost her, lost Merle, you ain’t following them”

It was weird that Y/N wasn’t waking up instantly like the others when the medicine has been in their system for a while. But they were exhausted.

Even when the prison fell around them.

No dad. No kids. No anybody. Y/N woke up to nothing but injuries of the fallen debris. Nothing too concerning but enough to frustrate their tired form as they crawled out of the rubble and to the surface of their collapsed cell block finding dead people and walkers.

Dad…

Carl…

Beth…

Judith…

It kept repeating in their head when they managed to get out of the infested area with the little belongings they scavenged.

Y/N felt like they were walking for days with no end. They saw the signs for Terminus and thought about heading that direction but if shit went south they had virtually nothing to protect themselves or anyone who joined along the way. They eventually found themselves in an abandoned house curled up in a corner listening to the sounds of nature and the rapid beating of their heart.

What if I don’t find anyone

Did I just lose my remaining family to an attack

They could be dead

Where’s Carl

Hopefully the kids are safe

They could be dead

Hershel’s remains were in the field…where’s Maggie and Beth

Who the hell got Judith

Where is my dad?

They could be dead

They could be dead

They could be dead

The panic settles in and before the scream ripped out of their chest out of frustration, exhaustion, depression…footsteps drew close. Several. But it wasn’t any of their group.

•

“These are good people…” Daryl frowns watching Joe keep his grip on Rick as he scoffs toward the archer.

“See…now that’s a lie”

Right before the other Claimer was about to grab Daryl, his body dropped to the floor. Confusing everyone in that heated situation. But given the open window Rick took out the leader while Michonne took out the one pinning her. Daryl went for the ones behind him while the swordsman was heading for the guy pinning Carl but right before she even drew her sword, the sound of a shotgun rang through as the guy splatters against the car sliding against the rusted metal until he met the floor. Carl scrambled away from the dead man feeling Michonne’s protective hold wrap around him as the two heard footsteps approaching from the tree line.

“Holy shit” One of the remaining claimers paused in the middle of fist fighting Daryl to see the figure emerging. “You’re still alive?!” He snaps and right before Daryl could land another punch, he dropped the Claimer when a knife was thrown right at his skull.

“I’m a goddamn roach…”

Daryl quickly turned toward the voice finding Y/N drawing close to grab their knife. But add more insult to injury by crushing the man’s skull with their foot. They both drew their handguns to take out the one approaching from behind Daryl and without a second thought after the assholes were taken care of, Y/N wrapped their arms around their dad feeling him tighten his grip on them.

“I’m so tired, dad…” Y/N sobbed holding onto him as he let them fall apart in his embrace relieved they were alive.

The five settled where they were to give them all a break of what had happened. Michonne stayed with Carl in the car with Rick keeping watch as the Dixons were outside of such leaning against it.

“I thought I lost yea…” Daryl frowns resting his head on top of theirs that was perched on his shoulder. “Thought I lost yea to the illness, then the collapse…”

“I should’ve taken better care of myself…then I wouldn’t have gotten sick, and sort of left there”

“I didn’t want to leave your side. I stayed with yea until the Governor came crashing into our home. I tried to go back but Beth saved my ass from getting killed trying”

“I’ll thank her when we find her”

Finding her dead wasn’t what either expected and neither of them hesitate to take the cop down after she shot Beth. They each took their own toll on the matter.

Couldn’t save her, does that have future indications toward his own blood

Couldn’t save her, was there really a consequence for mattering for oneself for a change

Daryl frowns watching Y/N sit beside him after watching what he did with the cigarette in his hand. They brushed off the ash from the burn checking how bad it was as he took his hand away.

“It’s not as bad as what my dad did to me”

“Still shouldn’t have done it. I still need yea around, old man”

The archer rolls his eyes before wrapping his arm around their shoulders bringing them in.

“What did we learn from this?”

“It’s okay to fight for someone else…as long as you don’t forget yourself”

“Good”

[hooked-on-elvis]

🥳 Happy Birthday to beautiful Jan Shepard! 🎂

Born Josephine Angela Sorbello on March 19, 1928, Jan is turning 96 years young today. ♥

Jan Shepard interviewed by Joe Krein (2007)

Joe: Can you tell me a little about yourself, where you were born and raised? Jan: I was born in a little town called Quakertown, Pennsylvania, in Bucks County. It’s about 40 miles north of Philadelphia. I had a wonderful time there growing up, it was a tiny little town and everybody knew everybody. You got to do everything when you were in high school. I was a cheerleader and a drum majorette. I was in drama. I loved growing up there.

(...)

Joe: Did you want to become an actress? Jan: Ever since I was in second grade I was Miss Cleanliness, in a way. I got up on that stage and something happened. I saw all those people and it made me want to do something nice. So I did two class plays. I did junior high and senior class plays as the leading lady. I did summer stock when I got out of high school. I did that for quite a while and that was great fun. Joe: So did you go to Hollywood and say “I want to be a star”? Jan: I went to New York first and I got a terrible cold. I had gotten a reference from Samson Raferson, who did a lot of plays. He lived in our area. He sent me to Sherill Crawford doing Brigadoon. So I went there and I could barely talk. You think to yourself once they see you that you would be in Broadway by the weekend. You just think that they are waiting for you. But she said go back home and do summer stock. Do as much as you can of that. It was one of those things that you are so eager and you had no clue as of how to become an actor. So I went back home and then I had a chance to visit some relatives in California. So I never went back to New York. Joe: So what studio did you sign up with? Jan: I did some things with 20th Century, but mostly I did television like ABC, CBS and then Paramount. So I was working all the time. The kids that were under contract with Paramount, they had a class picture taken, and I wasn’t in it because I was the only one working. Will never forget that. How I wish I was in that picture. Joe: You must see a lot of turn over, kids coming and then going home. Jan: Yeah. You know there is a lot of wonderful talent walking the street, and honestly it’s a matter of luck. Plus it helps with who you know. What helped me was I moved in with Amanda Blake from Gun Smoke. We shared an apartment and Ross Hunter had an apartment in the same building. I was working a regular job then. We would walk together in the morning to work. There was an agent that also lived in the building. I was out sunning myself one day and he came over and started talking. He said, “Do you need an agent?” I said yes. That’s how it all started. Quite by accident. Joe: You worked in television? Jan: About 500 episodes. I did so much television. I did so many pilots and series. One of my first series was with McDonald Carrie, who was Doctor Christian. I was a regular on that show. I did two soap operas. Day in Court and Clear Horizons. I did so many Westerns. Every show that was in the fifties and sixties, seventies. At least five hundred television shows.

(...)

Joe: Were you an Elvis fan? Jan: No (laughing). Joe: Don’t feel bad, a lot of people have said that to me. Jan: It was so funny because I was sitting with Dan Duriah. I was doing a two hour film. We were sitting on the set. I had the reporter in front of me and it said “ELVIS PRESLEY”. “What kind of a name is that?” He said, “I don’t know.” I said there’s some kid in the south called Elvis Presley. I said he’s never going to make it (laughing). That was the first time that I had ever heard of him. So I didn’t know who he was. I happened to like his voice. I liked his voice but I am not the kind of person who is adoring movie stars. There was maybe one or two that I adored or would like to work with, but I was never like those type of people. But once I met him, I just adored him. Joe: When did you find out that you were going to do an Elvis film? Jan: I was doing a play at Paramount, with Dolores Hart, who is my goddaughter. She is now a nun. Joe: Oh, yes, I know who she is. Jan: She used to be under contract with Hal Wallis. Dolores came up to me after work. She said, “Jan, there is a part in this movie I am going to do with Elvis Presley you would be perfect for. The part would be playing his sister.” I said, “Yeah, right, terrific.” I just let it go at that. But the next thing I know she calls me and says Hal Wallis wants to see you. “I’ve talked to him about you.” So I went up there. He said to me, “I would like you to make a test.” So they gave me the script. When I arrived at the studio, there was four other girls that were testing. I figured I would be the only one. I was in shock, I almost walked out. Peter Baldwin, who was playing the Elvis role, who was a friend of mine, he said, “Stay, stay. These other girls are no way better than you.” I was the last one to be tested. After I just went home and prayed that I would get this role. I got it!

Elvis, Jan and Dolores Hart on set during making of King Creole, 1958.

Joe: And this was for...? King Creole! That was Elvis’s favorite movie. Plus it’s the fans favorite movie. It’s also mine. Jan: Yes, it’s mine, too. But I have only seen two movies of his. I only saw them because I was in them. That’s nothing to do with Elvis. It’s just because I was working all the time. I was doing soap operas. Different scripts every day, learning new lines every day. You just don’t have the time to go out and see movies. I had no social life at all. If you do have five minutes on a weekend, you want to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe: Can you tell me how you met Elvis? Jan: When you’re assigned a film role, you have to go to the doctor, because of the insurance company. They have to make sure you don’t have a bad heart, any of that nonsense. They made my appointment for me at the studio, so I was there and I had on a white shirt and these slacks my mother had made for me that were like wine coloured. I went in the office and I was waiting to be called in. In walks Elvis with two of his buddies. I looked at him and he looked at me and we started to laugh. His jacket was the identical material and colour of my slacks. He looked at me and he said, “Honey, I’m either going to have to give you my jacket or you’re going to have to give me your pants” (laughing). That was my first meeting with Elvis. Joe: Goodness. Jan: Girl scout’s honour. Joe: Did you get along with Elvis? Jan: Oh, wonderful. He said if he had a sister, he wished it would be me. We got along so great because we worked alone the two of us the whole first week of the show. I would come to work and I would find on the set a pair of earrings he put there for me that cost about ten cents that he had liberated from the set. I have a marvelous picture where we are waiting to perform and we were just sitting down at the dining room table. I handed him this jewelry and I said I can’t take these from you, Elvis, you know it’s too much. You’re the last of the big spenders. He is there laughing so hard and they snapped this picture of the two of us. It’s a fabulous picture of him. But he would do little things like that. And he would play music on his guitar. He would ask me what I wanted to hear. Elvis loved Danny Boy.

Joe: Did you ever date Elvis? Jan: No, I was married (laughing). Joe: Oh, sorry, I didn’t know that. Jan: No, I was married, honey. But the thing was: Dolores Hart gave me a surprise birthday party. All the kids from Paramount studio were there. It was a big surprise to me. I was there for about ten minutes and in walks Elvis with the boys. He had this huge stuffed tiger under his arm. He knew I loved cats, so he had this stuffed cat and he named it Danny Boy. He gave me this big box. For weeks I had been asking Elvis for pictures that I could give the kids in my neighborhood when they had heard I was doing a picture with him. They all pleaded for photos of him. So I would always ask him for pictures for the kids. “Come on, please, I need pictures.” So he hands me this box and I placed it off to the side. He said, “Oh, no, you need to open that now.” So I opened it and it was a movie camera with a light bar and film. He said, “Now you can take your pictures.” You know if Colonel Parker was there, he would not had allowed that.

Early 1958. Elvis and Jan during surprise birthday party to Jan Shepard.

Joe: Oh, you’re right. Jan: Dolores said the next day she ran into Elvis and she said, “I was so surprised that you came.” He said I had to come, “She’s my sister. I wouldn’t miss her birthday party” (laughing). I ran into him in the studio. He said to me, “I hear Elvis was at your birthday party.” “Yeah, he was”. He said, “You know he never goes anywhere, people go to him, he never goes to other people’s homes.” Joe: That’s very true. Jan: I said I think we bonded a little bit. Joe: Was Elvis a good actor? Jan: Wonderful! Oh, just marvelous! I will never forget. You know every person that sings is a good actor. Because they have the sense of timing, the sense of rhythm, a sense of what words mean. He was a brilliant actor because he didn’t need any advice. He knew automatically what to do and act, as the show was going on. I kept saying to him, “Oh, Elvis, for God sake, you’re doing such a great job.” So one day we went for lunch. We were sitting there at a table and in walks Marlon Brando. Elvis was sitting with his back towards him. There was a table right behind Elvis that was empty, so Brando saw Elvis as soon as he walked in. So Brando got into the chair right behind Elvis. I said to Elvis, “Marlon Brando is sitting behind you.” Elvis said, “Oh, my God” and his head sunk into his sandwich. I said, “Look, he wants to meet you, I saw him looking at you, just say hi to him.” Well, that’s exactly what happened. He got up and bumped his chair. Marlon stood up and the two of them shook hands. They did a little small talking. Elvis was very cool. Elvis then walked out of the café very cool. But the minute we got outside he leaped up. He couldn’t believe he met Marlon Brando. He was so excited, we just danced all the way back to the studio. Then one day after the show had been released, someone sent me the review of King Creole. The title was “Bourbon Street Brando.” I raced over to Paramount and I grabbed Elvis and I said, “Look at this.” I showed him the “Bourbon Street Brando”, he just couldn’t believe it. I said, “See, I told you, you were going to be great in this!” Joe, Elvis was!

Scene of King Creole, 1958. Elvis as Danny Fisher and Jan Shepard as Mimi Fisher, Danny's sister.

Joe: Now you did another movie with Elvis. Jan: Yes, Paradise Hawaiian Style

Note: In Paradise, Hawaiian Style (1966) Jan Shepard played Betty Kohana, wife of Danny Kohana played by actor James Shigeta who's a friend and eventual business partner of Elvis' character Rick Richards.

Joe: Can you tell me about that movie and how you got the part? Jan: I had gone over to Paramount to have lunch with Dolores Hart. She was getting a wardrobe fitting for some picture. I ran into Paul Mason. He said, “Hi”. He asked what was I doing there. He said, “Hey, we need a wife for Jimmie Sakita for a movie Elvis is doing. Would you be interested?” He said, “It’s not a huge part, but it’s a good part.” I said, “Yeah, ok.” He told me to go up and see Hal Wallis. “I will give him a call and tell him you’re coming.” So I went up there. Well, Hal Wallis’s office is full of art. He has originals of Remington’s and Chares Russell, all those wonderful western painters. I walked in and I said, “Oh, my God, you have a Remington!” I knew art because my husband is an artist. Hal Wallis was very impressed, he asked me if I wanted that role? Yeah, fine, that would be wonderful! That’s how I got the part. Joe: Now what did Elvis say when he saw you? Jan: Well, the minute he saw me he asked how was Dolores because now she has been a nun for the past year. And I said she was good, I’ve seen her, I’ve gone there. And Maria Cooper, Gary’s daughter and I were the godmothers for her when she went into the monastery. And I said, “I’ve been there and she’s doing great and she, you know, I said you know if they let me wear eyelash mascara, I’d go in that place and say it’s beautiful. She’s home. This is where she wants to be and he wanted to see if she was okay and how you were doing. You know, and I noticed he was not the Elvis that was the little teddy bear that would run across the stage and pick up and swing you around. He was not that anymore. Joe: He changed? Jan: He was never in his dressing room and you know King Creole. He is always out with a group and having fun and playing the guitar and, you know, just a lot of fun. And he went to his dressing room and it was closed and I noticed he was drinking a lot of water. He had lot of glasses of water and he was drinking. Also, there was an attitude that was so different. He was kind of jaded and at the movies, he and I knew Charlie Afura who did all his choreography. Charlie was showing him something on stage, some dance moves or something, and he was just looking at Charlie, like “Charlie, I’ve done this four or five times already. I know what you want,” because it was the same movie every time. Joe: Right. Jan: He was always doing the same movie and I know he was tired of it.

(...)

Joe: When was the last time you saw Elvis? Jan: I saw him in Las Vegas. We went to a Casers Palace and I was so disappointed because he was into the karate stuff and he was turning his back to the audience all the time. And I just wanted to just go up there and spank him, you know. Joe: Yeah. Jan: Because he was just not him. You know. I think that when his mom died, that was just a terrible blow and that if she had lived Elvis would still be alive today. Joe: Yeah. When you were working in the movies, did you have the chance to have one on one conversations? Jan: Oh, yeah, all the time. Especially on the Creole, but not as much on Paradise Hawaiian Style. Yeah, like on the weekend it had rained all weekend and on Monday morning when Elvis came into the makeup room and I said, “Well, what did you do this weekend?” “I was on the phone with my mom all day, I didn’t go anywhere.” He told me one time they were on the road and they stopped at a diner, this was in the fifties. This big guy came over to him and picked him up by his shirt. He said, “I don’t like you”. Elvis said, “What’s wrong?” “My wife carries your picture around in her wallet.” Elvis said, “Hey, sir, I’m sorry, but that has nothing to do with me. I’m sorry, she should do that.” He let Elvis down and they took off. He had so much of that we had to fake people out when Elvis left the studio. We would send out a limo, the fans figured Elvis was in it. But Elvis was getting shoved into a taxi in the back of the studio. Elvis would be laying on the floor. Elvis said, “I know they don’t mean to do it, but sometimes they hurt me. They grab at me, pull my hair”. They have scratched his eye while trying to get some of that beautiful black hair. “I’ve been hurt,” Elvis said. “That’s why I don’t go anywhere.” We had a lot of conversations. One time I said to Elvis, “Why don’t you record Danny Boy?” He loved that song because he would sing it to his mom. Elvis said, “They don’t want that. They won’t let me sing something like that.” It was so funny, one day Pat Boone came walking on the set. Elvis spotted him and he started singing April Love, just the way Pat would sing it. Pat just grinned from ear to ear, Pat then came over and they met. But he never had the chance to become apart of the young Hollywood scene, because he was afraid to go out with the other young people who were at the studio. If he went to go to a movie, he had to rent the whole theatre. You know, Elvis never had a dime on him, he would follow me to the apple machine. I said to him, “You want an apple, right?” “Yes, please” (laughing). He never had any money. Joe: I know that to be true all the way up to the seventies. His men would carry his money and his keys. When did you hear that Elvis had passed? Jan: I was sitting with a friend at her business. The phone rang and they asked if I was there. They asked me if I had the radio on or had been watching television. I said no, why? “Elvis died.” I just couldn’t talk. When I was able to talk, I said I was so angry at him. I was so angry I could not even cry. Because he was doing all the wrong things and he knew he was, damn it! I could see that when I went to see him in Vegas. I said to myself, “That’s not my Elvis.” Joe: But you know the man was the greatest entertainer of the 20th century. Jan: There will never be another like him. In the Creole days he was just a big teddy bear. I asked him one time, “Ok, Elvis, when did all this swinging your hips start? Why do you do that?” “I do it for fun, I know just when to break it off.” I used to watch the little negro boys in his town, how they would sit on the curbs and sing. And they would stand up and dance. He said that’s where he got that from. They would sing and move their hips.

(...)

Joe: Well, I would like to thank you for talking to me today. Jan: You’re welcome, Joe.

Phone interview with Jan Shepard, done by Joe Krein, on June 22, 2007. YOU CAN READ THE FULL INTERVIEW ON: ELVIS100PERCENT.COM

Early 1958. Home movie. Birthday party to Jan Shepard. ♡

[oc-sickfic-central]

Meet the OCs!

These are the main 5 that I will write for! Please feel free to send requests for stories or asking any questions to get to know them more!

Kougami (Koh) Takahashi

Age: 29

Birthday: November 13th, 1994

Nationality: American-Japanese

Appearance: 6'3, medium size build, around 160-170 lbs fluctuates from time to time, long black hair, brown eyes, ivory skin. Does have several piercings: a lip ring on the left side, right ear pierced, and his left eyebrow. Tattoos: two koi fish on his stomach. Various scars including a burn on his right hand that extends up his arm stops before his elbow.

Background:

Koh lived a rough childhood losing his mom when he was a baby to suicide his father became an alcoholic and often was aggressive and neglected Koh. At the age of 3 his dad remarried, he loved his step mom and things were getting better. Until one night he and his parents were in a car accident. Koh's stepmom died on impact while his father was in a medically induced coma and later died. Koh was taken in by his Aunt and Uncle on his father's side and raised a long side his cousin Mike and later Lucy was born.

While in highschool Koh met Allie and the two began dating not long afterwards. They spend their high schools years together and after graduation attempted long distance, while in college Koh began suffering from chronic stomach pain and began self medicating with heroin after the doctors couldn't diagnose him. The addiction got so bad Koh was forced to drop out of school, he then broke up with Allie rather than tell her the truth.

After dropping out of college he began running with an up and coming gang things started getting serious and worried he'd head up dead or in jail Koh bailed and headed back home. Hoping his Aunt and Uncle would help him they did the opposite, told him he needed to get clean before he could show his face again.

Feeling defeated Koh decided to live his life on the street, picking up odd jobs when he could to feed his addiction. Along the way he met Charlie, Amber, Duncan, and Bradley. They helped Koh however they could but deep down they wanted him to get help.

After living on the streets for nearly 5 years he was dumpster diving one night and reunited with Allie who owned a cafe. She invited him inside and offered him a meal.

Allie helped Koh get into rehab and once he got out offered for him to move in and start working at the cafe. The two got back together and through many ups and downs have remained together ever since.

Koh plans to purpose later this year.

Allison (Allie) Shepherd

Age: 28

Birthday: October 5th, 1995

Nationality: American

Appearance: 5'2, 110 lbs, short brown hair, brown eyes, and light freckles, lightly tanned skin. No tattoos yet but does have her ears pierced, nose and tragus.

Background:

Allie grew up with a big family. 2 siblings Ben (eight years older) and Chloe (five years younger) Along with her cousins Connor and James who were always around. Allie's parents supported her with everything she ever wanted to do. Her dad is a renowned heart surgeon and her mom helps with local politics as much as she can.

Growing up Allie was loved and cared for spending time with friends and family she was never a lone. Ben and her were close despite the age difference and even more when Ben was in a terrible motorcycle accident that nearly killed him.

While he recovered, Allie helped her mom and caretakers as much as she could after she got home from school. Little did she know Ben became an addict from the painkillers. When she returned from studying abroad in London Ben was supposed to meet her for lunch but didn't show. Allie found him unresponsive in his apartment. The paramedics brought him back and he begged Allie not to tell anyone. After he was discharged Ben stayed with Allie while they found him a rehab out of state. They told the family Ben went backpacking and they had no reason to doubt him.

As Ben focused on getting clean, Allie and her best friend Hannah opened up a cafe a life long dream for them both. The two girls worked endless nights and days between school and work and it all paid off. Their cafe became the hang out spot for everyone and it reunited her and Koh.

These OCs take place in a different universe think of it as Tokyo Ghoul meets Devils Line

Spawns: creatures that feed on human flesh and or blood. As they evolved they began to blend in with humans.

Indigo Walker

Age: 26

Birthday: October 31st, 1997

Nationality: European/Japanese

Appearance: 6'1, skinny for his height, turquoise hair, one blue eye, and one green, pale white skin, scar diagonal on his left eye, no tattoos and no piercings.

Background:

Indigo grew up in London for about half his life with his mom, his father worked in Japan. He was kept hidden due to him being a half-spawn. Half-spawns were seen as impure and dangerous most that were born were killed as infants.

When his mother gave birth she knew Indigo's father was a Spawn and afraid her son would be killed she gave birth in an undisclosed location. He was born with bright hair and two different eyes, a clear indicator he was a half-spawn. When Indigo was old enough she began dying his hair and telling him how important it was he keep this secret. Not long after his 13th birthday his mom got him contacts to hide his one green eye.

Unfortunately it wasn't long that Indigo's mother became sick and was no longer able to care for him so he moved in with his father. His dad was a Spawn detective. Indigo's father was never home causing him to fend for himself. At 15 his dad disappeared after allegations came out that his father was a Spawn and several incidents put him as a prime suspect. Indigo was taken in by a fellow detective and his wife where Indigo finally began to feel normal. He continued to hide his secret from everyone.

As the years went on laws were passed allowing for treatments to become available for all Spawns to control their hunger for humans and allow them to work alongside humans. Feeling safe he could trust his adoptive family he told them. They were shocked and scared but realized the whole time Indigo was with them he never hurt them. They helped him receive the treatment and for the first time in his life he was able to show off his hair and eyes though he received looks he didn't care.

Indigo enrolled in the Academy where he graduated as a Spawn investigator at the age of 24 he was partnered up with a high ranking officer named Mercury and began his career. He would later meet Mercury's sister Luna.

Mercury Evans

Age: 37

Birthday: July 8th, 1986

Nationality: Japanese

Appearance: 6'2, medium size build, clean cut everything, blue eyes, and raven hair, ivory skin color.

Background:

Mercury always looked up to his father, highly decorated Spawn investigator, top of his class at the academy. Loosing his parents was kick to the chest but he used it as fuel to be the best he could be and to find whoever killed his parents.

He also became guardian to his little sister Luna at the age of 17 with help from some distant family members as well. Raising Luna was challenging at times but he wouldn't have changed it for anything.

Despite all the obstacles he enrolled in the academy a year after his parents died and graduated top of his class he worked long hours but coming home to Luna every night was worth it. He would eventually meet Kari and the two would began dating. Mercury felt ease knowing Luna wasn't alone at night after Kari moved in. His love for her was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

Luna Evans

Age: 26

Birthday: April 19th, 1998

Nationality

Appearance: 5'3, average size, long rose gold hair, blue eyes, ivory colored skin

Background

Luna was just 5 when her parents were brutally murdered in their own home, she watched it happen and despite the gruesome scene she barely remembers it. Mercury began raising her in the city after moving out of their childhood home and into a high rise apartment. Despite Mercury's goals it didn't stop him from being the best big brother he was.

Though Luna learned to care for herself at a young age she began mature and dependent so Mercury wouldn't have to worry. Once Mercury landed his dream job as Spawn investigator Luna spent a lot of time at the station.

One day after an infiltration she met Indigo while he was changing in her brother's office. It was a slow burn relationship until several events happened causing the two to fall in love and begin dating

[dragonologist-phd]

Introducing: Thalia Hawke

In Summary:

Champion of Kirkwall

Mage (Force Mage)

Main Weapon: Primal & Force Magic

Direct; Self-Reliant ; Combative; Assertive

more rambling:

Backstory:

Her magic manifested at a young age; using primal spells such as lightning came easily to her but control was much more difficult, and her family was forced to move often when she was young

When she was older, she earned money for her family through a variety of odd jobs, usually involving manual labor or farmwork.

She actually got along better with Carver than she did with Bethany; this changed after the destruction at Ostagar Bethany's death, both of which created a rift between Thalia and her brother

Upon arriving in Kirkwall, she opted to join Athenril and the smugglers

Major Choices:

Mainly chose Aggressive options

Carver became a Templar

Aided mages whenever she could

Dueled the Arishok in single combat

Sided with Larius in Legacy

Sided with Orsino and the mages

Party Dynamics:

Very complicated relationship with Carver. They were very close as kids, but as they got older their similarities- such as their temper and reluctance to talk about feelings- made it harder for them to get along. They had a falling out that lasted for years, but in the end they were still family and they stood by each other

Varric was another complicated relationship. They had terrible first impressions of each other, but after trauma bonding in the deep roads, they became inseparable friends who still bickered constantly

Held a lot of resentment towards Aveline after Leandra's death. Their friendship was already strained before that, and after, it never recovered

Was very close with Anders until Act 3, when they started growing in different directions. Even so, she would never have been able to kill him

Did actually like Sebastian a lot, almost in spite of herself. She still feels guilty about what happened

Had an initially rocky relationship with Merrill for a number of reasons. When she learned her own father had performed blood magic, however, she began asking Merrill more about it, and the two ended up becoming close

Romance:

Has a chaotic taste in partners that drives Carver crazy. She hooks up with Athenril during the first year in Kirkwall, then as soon as that's over starts flirting with Fenris

Her relationship with Fenris has its ups and downs, but they were very important to each other. Their Act 2 hookup and resulting fallout left them both reeling

Hawke dealt with all this by then hooking up with Isabela, who up to that point had been her best friend. They agreed to not bring feelings into their hookups, an agreement which Hawke was terrible at keeping

After much complication, Hawke could no longer deny that they'd fallen in love with both Fenris and Isabela. The three of them finally managed to talk things out and began a polyamorous relationship

Epilogue:

Hawke, Fenris, and Isabela took to the seas after Kirkwall, staying on the move and hunting slaver ships

Hawke reluctantly showed up to help the Inquisition after hearing of Corypheus's return. Inquisitor Genevieve chose to save them in the Fade, but they didn't trust the Inquisition at all and tried to convince Varric to leave them with them, with no success

Misc:

Hawke becomes more comfortable in their nonbinary identity over time; in Act 1 they use she/her pronouns, and gradually move to using a mix of she/her and they/them as the game progresses

They're elf-blooded, though it's not immediately obvious. Being raised in the Circle, Malcolm didn't have much connection to elven culture, and neither does Hawke. They learn more from Merrill, but still have complicated feelings about it

They get terrible insomnia, and probably rival Anders for title of most all-nighters pulled

They do try to learn healing but are absolutely terrible at spirit magic and never really get the hang of it

Their mabari is named "Bones", often referred to as "Bonesy". They got him from a kennelmaster they worked for, as he was the runt of the litter and wasn't expected to survive. Hawke took him home, and Malcolm used healing magic to help him survive

[tales-from-the-blu-team]

Muses and rules

Rules:

I am primarily interested in RPing with OCs due to having pre existing lore ideas about cross faction relationships but will play with Red muses/ blogs ( red engineer might be a bit of an issue as i have more own lore with him related to blu engineer)

Sfw only- Im not interested in NSFW.

I have a preference for paragraph/ literature style replies as that's what I'm used to writing wise but I don't mind if you do script style. Just be aware that I will do Literature style replies ( I'm a fic writer I can't help it)

I don't respond right away sometimes. This happens from time to time. If it's been a few weeks please poke me.

if you want to drop a thread just let me know.

I will take Asks like an ask blog but this is primarily an RP blog.

Don't god mod/ mode.

I've never played the Game so everything is Second hand knowledge for me

Muse list:

Primary muses:

Blu engineer:

Mac Conagher- doesn't want to be here but is obligated to due to family ties. He is Much More Aware of a Lot of things that the others aren't but he can't say anything. A former Civil Engineer with 6 PHDs, a Wife he loves dearly ( Irene) and two daughters. Will either have a son later or has recently had a son. Is absolutely horrified at the realization that he's doomed this poor kid to take his place.

Has an excellent sense of smell. Allergic to smoke.

Blu Spy: Matthieu ???

one of the unofficial leaders of Blu. Generally talks things through with his team. Scouts uncle ( scout knows this). Still mysterious but more open and protective of his team. Scout especially, as he's taken up the role of father figure when possible. Will often train and go over battle performance etc with his team mates.

Butts heads with Blu Soldier.

Has a crush on Blu engineer but is aware that he's married.

blu soldier -John Doe ( real name???)

An Orphan who became both friends and eventually brothers with Blu Pyro growing up. Was abandoned as a child due to his mother - a young widow - being pressured to give him up as her new husband ' wasn't going to raise a kid that wasn't his'. He was too young to remember his real name and only has vague memories of his mother. Has a half sister out there who wants to connect.

Stubborn, quick to react and can be kind of a hard ass on his team. Tends to follow his gut Instinct.

Fiercely protective of Pyro. A former soldier who did actually fight in WW2. Post war, he went around doing odd jobs, never really feeling like he knows what he wants.

Like Spy, he trains the team but his methods are more like that you'd find in the military.

Blu Pyro: ????

Blu soldiers best friend and unofficial brother. Grew up in the orphanage due to his parents dying in the winter due to an accident.

Has a fear of being wet/ cold due to this. Copes with Fire. About 5 years younger than John and is fiercely protective of him. Where he goes, Pyro follows.

Loves childish things due to making up for all the childhood things he never got to have or do. Has a one sided rivalry with the red pyro.

Secondary muses: ( a wip for later)

Blu medic: Fritz Humboldt

His family has a long running medical research/ pharmacy business. Is currently competing with his brother to see who takes primary control over it although the plan is for both of them to work on it together

Has a wife and a 12 year old son. Polite but not very Open as he has a past as working a field doctor/ had many a patient die on him that he tried to save. Took up the job to work on cutting edge medical research ( may or may not end up coming to terms/ accepting the whole you could have saved More people but didn't thing via Respawn).

Expresses his feelings through private writing. Created the kritzkreig and reverse engineered the Uber via what Blu spy knew. Does not like red medic but has respect for his work.

Blu scout: Thomas ???

Blu spys nephew, looks up to him a lot. A former track and field athlete at school. Youngest of three brothers. While not academically terrible he's not great either and doesn't excel at anything in particular.

His uncle and mom were not thrilled about him wanting to join the Merc life but spy promises to look after him. Knows some Spy skills and tendencies. Can be really quiet and knows some knife tricks.

The youngest on the team, he has trouble connecting with the others but tries. Knows some conversational French. Gets along better with Spy than his red counterpart

blu Demoman : ????

the second youngest on the team, he was good at Chemistry and working with his hands but unlucky with getting a job. Where red demo is Scottish, Blu demo is Irish.

His parents sacrificed a lot for him and he wants to make them proud. Miss Pauling came to him with a job offer- he didn't know it was a Merc Job. But he knew it involved explosives and thought he was gonna do like construction with explosives.

Wants to make his parents proud and doesn't want them to know what he's really doing. He hates lying to them but he's so afraid of what they would think of him if they knew he was killing and being killed.

Friends with Blu Engineer.

Blu heavy: Dimitri ????

Blu sniper: ????

[catierambles]

so I had a conversation with my mom. putting it under a Keep Reading because it touches on some subjects that might upset people

My mom called me crying yesterday saying that she had to leave a vacation with my nieces and their dad early because my eldest niece, Kaylynn, is turning into a carbon copy of her mother. Their mother who refuses to go to their track meets because she doesn't want to be bored. Who made my life a living hell growing up and told me to kill myself. Who none of us want anything to do with because of how much of a manipulative (but bad at it) rabid cunt she is. Who my parents completely disowned to the point where my mom gathered up every picture she had of her from baby onwards and burned them.

Apparently their mother has been telling Kaylynn that their grandma was a horrible mother and abused her and everything that's happened to her (Amanda) is her fault. It's bullshit. Amanda (their mom) takes absolutely no accountability for her own actions. It's all everyone else's fault, not hers.

My mom then asked me if she was a terrible mother and she told me to be honest. If you all know me, I have no problems with honesty if I believe the person needs to hear the truth. I won't lie to people, but as I've said many times before, I believe everyone should be honest, but there's a fine line between being an asshole and being honest and that is how you word things.

For example: If my room mate comes to me wearing a new dress or outfit and asks me how she looks, but it doesn't look good, I'm not going to tell her "You look like shit." I'm going to say "Not really your style, I'd go with something else." I still told her that I didn't think it looked good, but I wasn't an asshole about it.

Back to mom.

She asked me if she was a horrible mother and she told me to be honest. Now, in the past, whenever she asked me to be honest about something and then I was, I would get punished because I told her something she didn't actually want to hear. But I'm 1500miles away so fuck it.

I told her she wasn't terrible all the time. She had moments when she was a great mom, but there were a lot of moments when she wasn't. I told her that the reason why I hate asking for help, with anything, is because whenever I did I was yelled at, called stupid, and made to feel like an annoyance and a burden for asking.

Me: Hey, mom, what does this word mean?

Mom: OH MY GOD CATE JUST LOOK IT UP

She doesn't remember any of this.

I told her that she didn't want children. She wanted fully-formed mini-adults who she didn't have to raise and teach and guide because that was all done before, but she got children who she did have to put that effort into and it pissed her off.

My mom was physically abused when she was growing up, by her father and her step-father, beaten severely many times. She had to grow up and be an adult very quickly because that was expected of her as the eldest girl (my mom has 5 brothers and sisters, she's the oldest out of 3 girls, Wilhelm (Billy) is the oldest out of 3 boys). She wasn't allowed to be a child. So when she had children, she didn't know what to do so she fell back on how she was raised.

Now, before you reach for the pitchforks, my mom never laid a hand on us. That was my dads job But it's as if she thought that if she didn't hit us, she wasn't abusing us, but there are many different kinds of abuse. My mom was emotionally and mentally abusive. She was overbearing and overprotective. I didn't need anyone in my life, I just needed her. I didn't need friends, I just needed her. Then there were moments when I was honestly terrified of her. When she would scream at me over the little things until she was red in the face and I was crying, and then she would yell at me for "fake" crying.

My sister lied and said that I swore, she lied a lot to try to get me into trouble and it nearly always worked. My mom yelled at me to admit it, kept saying that I was lying when I said I didn't (because I didn't) and that would make her yell at me more for lying. It culminated in her pushing me to the ground. I told her she pushed me and she said "I didn't push you, you tripped." (gaslighting) My sister eventually fessed up that she only thought I swore and my mom dropped it. I never got an apology. I was 5.

Growing up, she would come into my room in the middle of the night to "check on me" but when she would step on something because my room was messy because I was a child, she would scream at me to wake up and make me clean my room. In the middle of night. Regardless if I had school the next day. This happened many times until she finally got sick of it and threw all my stuff away, ripping posters off the walls, throwing away books and stuffed animals. I tried to hide books in between my mattress and box spring so I would at least have something, my sister who was helping her found them, asked why I had books there and mom responded with "She's a slob, why wouldn't she have them there." She never stopped to think that maybe I was hiding them so they wouldn't get destroyed and why would I have to hide them to begin with.

When I was older and had a drivers license, she would ask me to go to the store, or do this or that, but it was okay if I told her no. If I did tell her no because I was tired from school or work, she would yell at me, calling me lazy and ungrateful, and then she would call my dad to tell him how lazy and ungrateful I was. I had the choice to say no, but god forbid I actually did, so I didn't really have a choice. I had the illusion of a choice.

When I told her that I was moving to Texas, she broke down into tears and begged me to stay because if I moved that far away, she wouldn't be able to visit me. I reminded her that when I was with my ex, living 15minutes away, she didn't visit me.

"But I could have!"

But you didn't.

"I'm not dying, mom, I'm just moving away."

"But it feels like you are!"

She tried to manipulate me into staying to spare her feelings, when being in that house with her was going to kill me. She wanted me to stay because she wanted someone to rely on her, when I haven't relied on her in years at that point. She tried to keep be close, but the more she tightened her grip, the more I pushed her away.

I left anyway because I needed to.

I told her all of this. Every last bit of it. Her response?

"I don't remember any of this."

"Well of course you don't, mom. For you it was Tuesday, for me it's a core memory."

"We were always such great friends when you were growing up."

"Yeah, when I wasn't terrified of you."

She had moments when she was honestly awesome, but then there were moments when she very much wasn't and I didn't think there was anything wrong with that because she wasn't horrible all the time, so that must be normal, right? Spoiler alert, no it isn't. It's not normal. You should never be terrified of your parents. You should never have to walk on eggshells around them for fear of them turning their anger on you. You shouldn't have to think about what you say to them and how you say it for every interaction because you know if you say it a certain way, you'll get screamed at.

Now before you say "Well maybe Amanda has a point." I want you to realize that I didn't turn out like she did. Nature vs Nurture. And also, Amanda was also incredibly abusive to me growing up and was one of my main tormentors (again, she told me to kill myself because no one would miss me anyway).

"Well, she was being bullied, so she bullied you. It's only natural."

Bullshit.

I was bullied. At home and at school and I never treated anyone how I was treated. I know what it's like so I make damn sure no one else feels that way because of me. I don't make other people suffer just because I suffered. I take accountability for my actions. If I fuck up, I own up to it and I make sure I don't do it again. With Amanda everything is everyone else's fault. She has never done anything wrong ever, never will, and if you say she has, it was someone else. No one else has ever experienced what she has in the history of the world and never will. She told our parents they didn't know what it was like to raise two girls and how difficult it was. I'm sorry, what? She said this to our parents who raised us (regardless of how) that they don't understand because they've never done it.

Amanda has some kind of psychopathy. She's malignantly narcissistic to the point where she hurts everyone around her to make everything all about her. She carefully crafts different personas depending on who she's talking to so she appears to be the best most wonderful person they've ever met in their entire life and when she's got their hooks in them and they're dependent on her, the real Amanda comes out.

She tries to manipulate people in her life, but again, she's bad at it, so it's pretty fucking easy to see through it if you know her. It's why we want nothing to do with her. It's why my parents disowned her. She fucks up and she tries to twist it around so it's actually someone else's fault and we should all hate them. They're the horrible person, not her, never her. She's perfect in every way, and if you try to say anything against her, you're evil and everyone should hate you too and she will try to get everyone to hate you.

But I digress

I told mom all of this (before the Amanda bit) and she thanked me for being honest with her. For not sugarcoating it. For straight up telling her "Yeah, you did your best, but your best was shit and it hurt us."

She asked me to forgive her, that she hoped that one day I would be able to forgive her for what she's done.

I'm not Amanda. I got down off that cross years ago, used the wood to build a bridge, and got over it.

I forgave her a long time ago and I told her that. She thanked me again, we talked for a few more minutes on some other things, and that was that.

If you made it this far, have a cookie.

[br1ghtestlight]

my thoughts on what happened w/ the (many many) absent father figures on bob's burgers

mr frond was the result of a very short relationship between his mom and dad. was raised by his single mom and never even met his dad (dad might not even know frond exists) which led to a lot of attachment issues as a kid that followed him into his adulthood. scared of having children bcuz he's worried that he would abandon them in the same way his dad abandoned him and he doesn't want them to grow up without a father

teddy's dad was around when he was a kid but he was pretty abusive and terrible and didn't like teddy all that much. he wasn't the son his dad wanted. he was abusive towards teddy's mom and sister too and teddy found himself w/ responsibility to defend them and be the peacekeeper in the family. they finally got divorced when teddy and his sister were adults and in college/navy and teddy didnt really keep contact with his dad after that. his dad died when he was in his late 30s which brought up some COMPLICATED emotions he simply does not have time to unpack. he also has mother issues but its easier to ignore those and have a relationship with her

mort's dad went on long business trips for most of his childhood so he didn't really see his dad all that much and they didn't have a great relationship. basically raised by a single mom w/ financial support from his dad who would visit every few months and bring him like a Keychain or something but he didn't really care to get to know his son or his interests. when mort was a teenager it came out that his dad had been cheating on his mom with other women throughout his childhood so they got seperated and his dad moved out (not that he really lived with them to begin with) and probably got into a relationship with a younger woman or something idk. he died when mort was in his 30s or 40s but they barely kept in contact so it wasn't a huge emotional thing for mort. his dad DID request that mort do his funeral service and cremation in his will which was kinda his way of showing his support and love for his son and his passion/job. mort did the service and it was Not awkward at all (lying)

bosco's dad was around for his childhood and was very strict and generally kinda terrible and miserable (as was his mom. and so is bosco tbh) like a real asshole who punished his kids for the tiniest mistakes and never said i love you or ANYTHING. alcoholic. fought with bosco's mom all the damn time and made life miserable for him and gary even though gary was obviously their parents favorite. refused to get divorced even though they made each other miserable in that 80s sitcom type of way and when bosco was in his early 20s and going through school and everything his dad had a medical emergency and died before he had grandkids etc. bosco has a very weird complicated relationship with his dad and his memory and considers him both somebody he never wanted to become and also his biggest inspiration in life who he wanted to impress. always hyped grandpa up to his kids but also resents him for his fucked up childhood and emotional state. god help him

[warriorwoman13]

My life has melted down completely. I lived in more than 18 different places from the ages of 5-18. I had very few friends. I didn’t date. I didn’t go to a prom. I didn’t graduate high school. I grew up in a house full of verbal, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. I was sexually abused/assaulted by 7 men by the time I was 17 years old. I was basically my own parent at the age of 14. I had no soft place to land or call home. No one to encourage me or protect me. I felt so tiny and insignificant growing up. I was so incredibly lonely. Like the world was so big and I didn’t matter. No one knew I even existed. No one cared. I was never enough. When I got married I thought that would change. It didn’t really. He would listen to me. But that’s about it. His mom was mean to me always. He never one time protected me from her disdain. She had the chance to love a young girl who had never really been loved but she chose to judge me instead.

My whole life I’ve had to fight. To prove I was enough, that I was worthy of being loved. I have rescued people (and animals) my whole life. I never wanted anyone to feel the way I felt. Discarded, lonely, unloved, worthless. I tried to save my sister many times before she died, at 17 borrowing a car and driving 8 hours to go rescue her when I found out she was a prostitute at 15. Adopting and raising her little girl as my own so she didn’t give her to the state of California as she was threatening to do. I tried to save my little brother in many ways too before he was killed by a gang member at the young age of 21. I tried to save my sister’s child, Andrew/AJ when he came out for my sister’s funeral and I found out the terrible conditions and life he was living - filing for custody immediately. I’ve helped and tried to save other family members (you know who you are) from addiction, health issues, grief. I’ve been there for each of my children through some incredibly hard situations that resulted because of generational trauma and addiction.

Most of the time I faced the darkest, hardest moments alone. Completely alone. The people I expected to be by my side weren’t. Always some excuse. I was always expected to show up for everyone and fit in the little box they made for me. They could all be as messy as they wanted but I had to put on a smile and figure everything out. Be strong. I never did it perfectly. I didn’t know how. I had no role models. There are no instructions for healing this kind of generational trauma. Did I make lots of mistakes? Yes. Did I get angry? Yes. Did I have every reason to? Yes. Did I always keep trying? Yes. Did I push myself to the point of exhaustion too many times? Yes. Do I wish I could go back and do so many things differently? Yes.

My husband never really invested in our family. He took a backseat. He had every advantage I didn’t. Two parents. Stable home. Family vacations. Graduated from college. Girlfriends. Dates. Proms. College. Masters. Great jobs. Great income. During our marriage I tried to save him too. Long talks- lots of encouraging. When he couldn’t write his dissertation for his Doctorate Degree at UT I said it’s ok we’ll figure it out. He lost jobs, had a very serious suicide attempt. Looking back, I didn’t know the whole story. He didn’t share everything. His dad’s motto was never volunteer information. He’s always had secrets. I always felt that in my soul. But I still stood by him. I didn’t know how to give up. Still trying to rescue him and prove I was worthy. Even after I found out about the pornography for the last time I arranged a little meeting for Sarah and I to help him with an important interview. I helped him find new jobs. I tried to talk to him, sent text messages, emails, called, arranged dates. BUT HE WAS NEVER HAPPY. He never had the courage to walk away or go after what he really wanted. So he strung his family along for decades while he lived a double life of pornography and god knows what else. Even after the betrayals and lies in the marriage, even after hurting our children doing all of this in front of the kids multiple times, even after he slinked away like a coward, even after ghosting me after 38 years together, even after he’s lost all the jobs and is in the process of ruining us financially, even after the emotional, psychological abuse and gaslighting, even after he accused me of being a bully and making choices our whole marriage without considering what he wanted - like he didn’t have a voice - like he’s not an adult - like no choice is a choice- like he’s not in charge of himself, even after forcing me to waste thousands of dollars I don’t have on attorney’s fees by not providing any documents as required by law for our temporary orders hearing on 4/17, even after making sure he found a way to stick me with most of our debt on my $20/hr salary, even though he continues to live in his dad’s condo on his dad’s dime at the age of sixty six - He still refuses to seek help for his addiction and continues to lie and say that he is getting help. He is a pitiful excuse for a human. But I won’t play his stupid game anymore. I’ve tried to hold this whole thing together. Stressing about how the house payment is going to get paid and a thousand other things every day. He doesn’t stress. He doesn’t try to heal his family. He calls me a narcissist- that’s fucking hilarious. I’m not going to try and keep everything together anymore. I’m going to take care of me. Period. I’m not sure yet exactly what that means but I know I can count on me and I’m gonna take the pressure off me and take it one day at a time.

I’ve put myself in this little jar and put it on a shelf for years waiting for everyone to be ok so I can take her out. I’ve been a good girl and played by the rules. Waiting for someone to love me, take care of me. The wait is over. TODAY I CHOOSE ME. The person I was trying to save this whole time was me. The truth is I can’t save anyone else. I will never again abandon myself. Today I will start showing up for me. I am taking a journey. I was led to believe it was my job to take care of everyone else. It’s my job to take care of me. My kids are grown now. And now I get to give them the greatest gift of all. What it really looks like to heal and truly love yourself. I look back on my journey and I’m so damn amazed at myself. I am so freaking strong and resilient. I’ve been so worried that I’ve only taught my children bad things. But I know now that isn’t true. I’ve stood in the face of hundreds of trials over my life. I’ve lived things most people can’t even imagine but I am here and I still choose to love people. I am so grateful for the family and friends who do truly love me and are part of my life - I wouldn’t be here without you. I am so excited about what’s to come. I feel more free than I’ve ever felt in my life. And today I don’t give a damn what anyone else thinks anymore. I care what I think. This is my life. I CHOOSE ME ❤️

[paxtonrp]

𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐂𝐒

Name: Bear Ludlow

Age: 35

Occupation: Livestock Inspector

Affiliation: Top Hand for The Cowboy Mafia

Gender & Pronouns: Man (he/him)

Faceclaim: Brandon Sklenar

𝐁𝐈𝐎𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐘

tw child abandonment, drug abuse and addiction, kidnapping

A feral youth was spawned by growing up in poverty. Bear's parents weren't the wealthy kind. They started from young love, too young, and thus never really amounted to much of anything. Not for not trying, they unfortunately handicapped themselves before they could really get going. Their first child came too early, just after graduating high school, and life turned from youthful discovery of the world ahead of them to working to make ends meet and provide for the family they hadn't planned for. Bear came next some five years later and was an absolute accident. Something he felt strongly his entire youth. Then there was one more oops after him.

When the youngest Ludlow hit the terrible two's that as when Bear's mother made her great escape. To this day no one is quite sure where she ended up or what happened in her life post Paxton, but he doesn't really bother himself with those thoughts. Not too much, at least. This event left his father to be the sole provider and caretaker of 3 children and to some extent that caused him to subconsciously check out. He did work 3, sometimes 4, jobs but he was never around or present for his children. How could he be? At most he made sure they had some sort of roof over their heads and did his best to provide food and clothing. Everything else? That was up to the Ludlow children.

For Bear that meant getting up to no good. Little scrapes with the law. Petty crimes. Though, for him, it was a gateway into the world of drugs. With too many burdens on his shoulders far too young and a heaviness in his chest drugs were a wonderful escape. Going down that path only further drew a line between himself and his peers. The friends that were much better off and doing well in school. As kids they'd never once cared that Bear was poor, as teens, however, the divide was prominent. Loneliness only fueled his drug use and hooligan antics. The moment Bear was saved was the sheriff dropping him on his grandfather's doorstep. The old man had a small ranch and was a no bullshit kind of man. Old school. When he saw the mess that Bear was, not missing the potential in his eyes, he resorted to The Cowboy Mafia.

With some begging, the Hands took on Bear, likely seeing the potential in the strapping teenager as well. He was built strong, tough, there was grit in him. The Feedlot was where he started and with hard work enforced on him, Bear sweated out the drugs. Quickly he became almost militant in his servitude. He'd grown quiet and knew to listen, follow, take orders. The young man became reliable and as someone weathered for hardships he didn't balk when things got a tough. After obtaining his GED Bear was able to go onto community college, earn his Associate's, and then move onto a state university to get a degree in agriculture (animal husbandry). It was a strategic move. He had no designs on raising livestock of his own, Bear simply thought it would be useful.

After years of proving himself as a Finger he finally earned his brand and became a Hand by helping turn over a board patrol agent. Bear was the right hand and main aggressor to a Hand in the kidnapping, interrogation, and striking up a deal that garnered windows of time where border patrol would look the other way. Something that further ensured the movement of their product and adding to their capital. While the brand is something he's proud of, The Cowboy Mafia had saved him and completely made him someone rather than the early grave he was headed towards, he is sometimes conflicted about being involved in the drug trade. In many ways it makes him a hypocrite. This lifestyle, however, offers him that little dance with death that he's known since he was a young teen.

The path to Livestock Inspector came two ways — experience and education. Bear had grown up in the ranching culture, some from his grandfather but most from being taken in by The Cowboy Mafia. He went where he'd been told and did the hard work prescribed to him. The was often working on ranches and with livestock. Perhaps no one would point Bear out for his intelligence but the man has never been dumb. Quiet and attentive he learned every step of the way. Coupled with his education he was easily streamlined into the position he has now. It's one that's beneficial it many ways, garnering him important connections while keeping him in confidence with the remaining ranchers around Paxton. It feels like a win-win.

When it comes to family Bear feels he's found it within The Cowboy Mafia. He's the guy anyone can turn to at anytime and he's there to lend a hand. The man is a skilled gunsmith (something learned by way of his grandfather), an excellent shot and hunter, he's big and brutish and someone you want on your side in a physical fight — he's useful. Most importantly, Bear is loyal.

𝐏𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐂

The Cowboy Mafia saved him. He was doomed to a life of nothing more than being a drug addict before. He knows this, and is deeply grateful to them. His current position as a Livestock Inspector garners him special connections with Livestock Agents, and various Department of Transportation offices. He's well connected to help the Cowboys move product completely under the radar.

[bearludlow]

❝ I THANK WHATEVER GODS MAY BE

      FOR MY UNCONQUERABLE SOUL. ❞

STATS:

Name: Bear Ludlow

Age: 35

Face Claim: Brandon Sklenar

Occupation: Livestock Inspector

Affiliation & Position: Top Hand for The Cowboy Mafia

Gender & Preferred Pronouns: Cis male & he/him

BIOGRAPHY:

Trigger Warnings: child abandonment, drug abuse and addiction, kidnapping

A feral youth was spawned by growing up in poverty. Bear's parents weren't the wealthy kind. They started from young love, too young, and thus never really amounted to much of anything. Not for not trying, they unfortunately handicapped themselves before they could really get going. Their first child came too early, just after graduating high school, and life turned from youthful discovery of the world ahead of them to working to make ends meet and provide for the family they hadn't planned for. Bear came next some five years later and was an absolute accident. Something he felt strongly his entire youth. Then there was one more oops after him.

When the youngest Ludlow hit the terrible two's that as when Bear's mother made her great escape. To this day no one is quite sure where she ended up or what happened in her life post Paxton, but he doesn't really bother himself with those thoughts. Not too much, at least. This event left his father to be the sole provider and caretaker of 3 children and to some extent that caused him to subconsciously check out. He did work 3, sometimes 4, jobs but he was never around or present for his children. How could he be? At most he made sure they had some sort of roof over their heads and did his best to provide food and clothing. Everything else? That was up to the Ludlow children.

For Bear that meant getting up to no good. Little scrapes with the law. Petty crimes. Though, for him, it was a gateway into the world of drugs. With too many burdens on his shoulders far too young and a heaviness in his chest drugs were a wonderful escape. Going down that path only further drew a line between himself and his peers. The friends that were much better off and doing well in school. As kids they'd never once cared that Bear was poor, as teens, however, the divide was prominent. Loneliness only fueled his drug use and hooligan antics. The moment Bear was saved was the sheriff dropping him on his grandfather's doorstep. The old man had a small ranch and was a no bullshit kind of man. Old school. When he saw the mess that Bear was, not missing the potential in his eyes, he resorted to The Cowboy Mafia.

With some begging, the Hands took on Bear, likely seeing the potential in the strapping teenager as well. He was built strong, tough, there was grit in him. The Feedlot was where he started and with hard work enforced on him, Bear sweated out the drugs. Quickly he became almost militant in his servitude. He'd grown quiet and knew to listen, follow, take orders. The young man became reliable and as someone weathered for hardships he didn't balk when things got a tough. After obtaining his GED Bear was able to go onto community college, earn his Associate's, and then move onto a state university to get a degree in agriculture (animal husbandry). It was a strategic move. He had no designs on raising livestock of his own, Bear simply thought it would be useful.

After years of proving himself as a Finger he finally earned his brand and became a Hand by helping turn over a board patrol agent. Bear was the right hand and main aggressor to a Hand in the kidnapping, interrogation, and striking up a deal that garnered windows of time where border patrol would look the other way. Something that further ensured the movement of their product and adding to their capital. While the brand is something he's proud of, The Cowboy Mafia had saved him and completely made him someone rather than the early grave he was headed towards, he is sometimes conflicted about being involved in the drug trade. In many ways it makes him a hypocrite. This lifestyle, however, offers him that little dance with death that he's known since he was a young teen.

The path to Livestock Inspector came two ways — experience and education. Bear had grown up in the ranching culture, some from his grandfather but most from being taken in by The Cowboy Mafia. He went where he'd been told and did the hard work prescribed to him. The was often working on ranches and with livestock. Perhaps no one would point Bear out for his intelligence but the man has never been dumb. Quiet and attentive he learned every step of the way. Coupled with his education he was easily streamlined into the position he has now. It's one that's beneficial it many ways, garnering him important connections while keeping him in confidence with the remaining ranchers around Paxton. It feels like a win-win.

When it comes to family Bear feels he's found it within The Cowboy Mafia. He's the guy anyone can turn to at anytime and he's there to lend a hand. The man is a skilled gunsmith (something learned by way of his grandfather), an excellent shot and hunter, he's big and brutish and someone you want on your side in a physical fight — he's useful. Most importantly, Bear is loyal.

PLOT ARC:

The Cowboy Mafia saved him. He was doomed to a life of nothing more than being a drug addict before. He knows this, and is deeply grateful to them. His current position as a Livestock Inspector garners him special connections with Livestock Agents, and various Department of Transportation offices. He's well connected to help the Cowboys move product completely under the radar.