Reporter: Tell us Bruce, why have you recently decided to work out more? Do you just want to compete with our Clark? Or is it-
Bruce: My kids.
Reporter: I’m sorry what?
Bruce: I work out so I can still lift them.
Reporter: …
Bruce: if you have nothing else to ask I’m going to leave now. Let’s go Jaylad.
Bruce just picks up Jason and leaves.
Jason looks like a large dog that clearly isn’t used to being in the air.
Like this.
25K notes
·
View notes
A Persuasive Argument - dpxdc
"Great!" Danny says, clapping his hands together to get everyone's attention. The dinner table falls silent as everyone looks towards him. It's a full house today and, honestly, Danny's a little nervous. "I'm sure you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."
"It's dinnertime. In our house." Duke mutters, while doing a very bad job of concealing his yawn. He holds his fork poised over the braised beef, but, just like everyone else, still looks towards Danny before tucking in. It's intriguing enough to wait.
"Yeah, no one misses Alfie's dinner." Dick says, with a brilliant smile that Danny can't help but return.
"Precisely! What better time to talk to you all than when you're all actually here!"
"Wait, I thought you came round to work on our English essays?" Tim asks, blinking owlishly.
"I'm afraid I've lured you here under false pretences, Tim."
"This is where I live."
"I would still really appreciate help on that essay though, I mean, what the hell is Hamlet even about? I just don't get that old time-y language, like 'Hark! A ghost hath killed me!' - absolute rubbish, what does that even mean?"
"The ghost never kills anyone in Hamlet, he's there to tell Hamlet that he was murdered. Have you actually read it?"
"No, but it sounds like you have. Tim, I want this guy to help me with my essay instead. I know for a fact that you haven't read Hamlet, either."
"So? We don't need Jason, I've read the Sparknotes."
"Hi Jason, I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you, summarise Hamlet in three sentences or less."
"Am I auditioning to help you write your essays? I can't believe you’ve gone through your whole school life without reading it, it’s good!"
"Hamlet, along with a number of other classics, was banned in our house because it portrayed ghosts as intelligent and sympathetic beings rather than evil, animalistic beasts. I didn’t even get to see The Muppet's Christmas Carol until last year with Tim! It was surprisingly good, and I hate Christmas because everyone always argued and it sucked. But we're getting off topic. I—"
"No, no, please go back to that, because what the fu—"
"Boys, please." Bruce interrupts, looking to the world as if he wants to hang his head in his hands. "Danny, you were about to say something?"
"Oh, yeah, Mr. Wayne! Thanks!"
"Please, call me Bruce."
"Well, that very succinctly brings me to my point, because I'd actually really like to call you dad."
Nobody says a word. Nobody even blinks, all as shocked as the other, watching open-mouthed as Danny pulls his laptop out from beside his chair. Bruce can definitely feel a headache coming on.
"Before you say anything, I've prepared a 69 slide PowerPoint presentation on why you, Bruce Wayne, should adopt me, Danny Last-Name-Pending. Please save your questions, comments, and verdict until the end, thank you."
4K notes
·
View notes
i’m fucking SCREAMING
these type of kisses. like he couldn’t get enough of you. like when he grabs you and pulls you back into kiss even if you gasp for air. he just can’t stop once he started to kiss you, he’s addicted. and his kisses aren’t too rough. he just begs to feel any part of you against his lips so he could worship you properly.
and then
these type of hugs when he squeezes you onto his body and won’t let go. he just can’t. so he pulls you onto his lap and holds you until his stress and anxiety melts away.
but if he does the combo of that. then i’m dead.
(please delete pinterest from my phone cus i can’t stop_(:_」∠)_ i have at least 12 boards for desperate looking men T-T)
3K notes
·
View notes
Fenton Coded
Tim... Tim just stared.
He...
Huh.
He had once entertained the idea that he wasn't really a Drake, a very long time ago when he overheard his mom and dad arguing and some words were said in the heat of the moment, but to be honest Tim always thought the obvious culprit of anyone being his dad would most likely be Bruce (Bruce even admitted he had a small fling with his mother but that was two years before her marriage)
But before little Tim's curiosity could really take hold on the idea, he had saw on the news Robin performing a Grayson flip and the hint of Tim not being a Drake left his mind. Robin was Dick Grayson! And if he was Robin that had to mean Bruce Wayne was Batman!
Then well... his stalking of the Bats started and the rest became history.
But now, as Tim was staring at his own DNA test, something he never bothered to do until that damned Demon brat wanted to make sure he was ONLY blood son of Bruce (and doing a DNA test something even Bruce never thought of doing due to well… how he was towards Tim during his first months as Robin)
He well…
He kinda needs to find out who this Daniel Jackson Fenton is.
(Tim finds out he isn’t a Drake, but also not a Wayne (because Damian wanted to make sure he was only blood son) but is instead a Fenton)
1K notes
·
View notes
I'm a camp counselor and a Mechanisms fan. This means I have a unique opportunity of influence on kids who think I'm cool. I have used this power not for evil, but for my own amusement. I've been shouting "JONNY D'VILLE, YOUR HUMBLE CAPTAIN" and i have trained my loyal hoard of a dozen 10 year olds to shout back "FIRST MATE" and its quite possibly the best thing ive ever done. I shouldn't be as proud of this as I am, but it works better than any other attention getter I've ever used.
810 notes
·
View notes
no see the thing about jason & dick is that they have too much between them. they have too many complications for people who never really had the chance to know each other. that's your little brother, one of your biggest regrets. that's your big brother, the most unfamiliar warmth you have ever experienced. that's your little wing. that's the boy you saw swinging around once and thought "he's the most amazing thing I have ever seen". do you understand. do you. realise. there's miles upon miles of unspeakable grief and they have no way to go about it because they carry their blood in their mouth and yearning in their ribcages and they're too stubborn to say anything or reach out and yet too attached to what could have been to let go and they don't want to admit it but they keep coming back because that's my brother that's my brother that's my brother that's my brother
1K notes
·
View notes