#he needed interventions that were just not available

[sunderwight]

Shen Yuan who glitches in his transmigration, but the original Shen Qingqiu still dies of a qi deviation.

So the System still needs someone with narrative relevance to throw Luo Binghe into the Abyss. In a fit of desperation, it contrives circumstances after Shen Qingqiu's death to move Luo Binghe to An Ding Peak (not that difficult), and then the System makes Shang Qinghua be Luo Binghe's new scum master who casts him down.

Airplane's thrilled, really. Cultivators aren't supposed to get ulcers but damned if he doesn't come close to one anyway. Between Shen Qingqiu and then just a while later Liu Qingge both dying from qi deviations, and Shang Qinghua looking like a stiff breeze could take him out any day now, poor Mu Qingfang is also just about at his wits' end.

But it's not all bad news! On An Ding Peak, Luo Binghe actually finds himself surrounded by the kinds of people who are accustomed to being bullied by the rest of the sect. So they're pretty sympathetic to him, and it's easier for someone with basic laboring skills to advance on that peak too. His chores don't decrease too much, but he actually gets rewarded for doing them well, and no one tries to kick him out of the dorms or anything. Shang Qinghua doesn't either go out of his way to bully or praise Luo Binghe, correctly reasoning that his best shot at not getting a gruesome death is to just be a more forgettable bad guy than an abusive dirtbag or a heart-wrenching betrayal. He doesn't sabotage Luo Binghe's cultivation (no point, and it would just farm resentment later) but he also doesn't go out of his way to help him improve (not gonna arm his inevitable maybe-probably-murderer with better weapons!), so Luo Binghe's situation sees an overall improvement but not the zero-to-hero treatment he'd have got with Shen Yuan either.

When Shang Qinghua shoves Luo Binghe into the Abyss (he just full on picks him up and tosses him like a sack of beans, better to rip it off quick like a bandage), LBH is upset, but he's not especially surprised or dismayed about Shang Qinghua's part in it. Later on he'll be kind of confused, because he just assumed that of course the righteous sect cultivator would abhor the demon, but it turns out Shang Qinghua has been working for a demon since before Luo Binghe even came to the sect? But then it still kind of makes sense because a Heavenly Demon would definitely pose a risk to Mobei Jun and to Mobei Jun's rule. Shang Qinghua, he supposes, is just really loyal to his specific demon.

Luo Binghe's subsequent revenge quest is also somewhat mitigated by the Abyss actually not being that bad.

The Abyss is not actually that bad thanks to the glitched out Shen Yuan having been camping there for several years now.

So when Shen Yuan's transmigration failed it failed because he "woke up" during the process, realized where the System intended to put him, was like no way in goddamn hell am I being that guy about it, and actually kind of won the ensuing tug-of-war. The System couldn't put him in Shen Qingqiu but Shen Yuan didn't want to go back to his dead body either, so he ended up stuck in the nearest available space for lost interdimensional beings. Which was the Endless Abyss.

Luckily Shen Yuan's quasi-transmigrated imparted an equivalent cultivation level as Shen Jiu's to him, and the glitch made him able to sense and manipulate certain extra-dimensional energies, so he manifested as this weird godlike being able to manipulate and control aspects of the Abyss. So he set about transforming Airplane's Torment Nexus into a viable ecosystem (the current version would not be anything approaching sustainable were it not for divine/narrative intervention, and is constantly on the verge of destabilizing into unlivable ruin that would only be fit for some particularly hardy microorganisms).

It's still like, a monster land full of demonic creatures and terrifying phenomenon, but with Shen Yuan's assistance it becomes something more like a demonic wildlife reserve than a dimensional horror plane. Though it is still a dimensional horror plane, and Shen Yuan is its chief dimensional horror. He treats it sort of like those dungeon building or wildlife park sims, figuring out how to keep everything in balance while still preserving all the interesting parts. A lot of the extreme survival issues of the Abyss are more of a result of it being environmentally unstable than a result of its actual denizens, and once he smooths out a lot of the messy dimensional edges and creates stable vents for the fluctuating energy run-off, the demonic inhabits start behaving less like horror movie monsters and more like animals. They're still wild and dangerous and prone to killing one another, but also more cautious, and able to access enough stable resources that they can even start to be picky about what they pursue.

Turns out that a lot of creatures in the Abyss actually don't like fighting and dying and being brutally injured on a regular basis, even if they can heal from it!

Shen Yuan has even discovered that some like chin scritches (he's not terribly worried about habituating them to people, given how rarely any people actually access the Abyss, but also because he's not really all that people-ish himself these days).

This means that one of Luo Binghe's first encounters with the horrible creatures of the Abyss, is in fact a pack of wolf-like monsters thoroughly avoiding an actual fight with him. In fact most of the denizens of the Abyss just avoid him. They can smell the Heavenly Demon energy rolling off of him, and given the current abundance of alternatives to dealing with that, virtually none of the monsters actually choose to challenge him. There are still a few that will go after anything that's bleeding, but that problem stops once Luo Binghe's physiology heals his wounds, which takes like... a couple hours, max.

Despite the stories he's heard, Luo Binghe is relieved to find that the Abyss is not quite so terrible as all that. Normal survival skills suffice for seeing him through much of it. He's able to hunt for food, scavenge for tools, and even finds potable water fairly easily. After a few weeks, he also comes across a ruin which seems to be inhabited.

The being inhabiting it is plainly a god, although he demurs and refutes such assertions whenever Binghe is too frank. He's a strange being, at turns looking like some queer approximation of a human, at other times blinking and winking in and out of existence, in patterns of strange lights and oddly geometrical fire. But he's surprisingly not hostile, letting Binghe rest in his residence, and even directing him towards points of interest. Accompanying him, too, though he seems to think that Binghe doesn't notice the odd almost spiderweb-like patterns that appear on things which he's influencing. The god calls himself The Peerless One, or at least that's what Luo Binghe infers from some writings on the ruin. The Peerless One offers instruction, seemingly without thinking about it, and gets flustered at being addressed by title, so Binghe also begins to refer to him as Shizun after a while.

[ohwaitimthewriter]

The scent of memory

Pairing : (implied) Caesar x human reader

Warning: FLUFF

Summarize (you'll never see me write a good one 😭): You started to cook a meal dear to your heart when a certain ape decided to pay you a visit.

Words: 2K

A/N: I tried a little something, I hope you'll like it! Enjoy your reading 😊 I lowkey feel a bit insecure about this one but shhh I just wanted to get this out of my mind

Masterlist.

There were surprises every day. Ever since you joined Caesar's clan, you'd spent your time learning what your human life had never taught you: to use what nature offered and adapt it to the needs of the community.

And there was a lot to learn. So Caesar asked Maurice to teach you, to teach you the way of the apes. You were a quick learner, but you never gave yourself too much credit: Maurice was a good teacher, patient and clear in what he showed you. Regardless of the activity, he always found the best way to help you master the techniques for weaving ropes or fine plant stems and knotting them, for whittling wood to create stakes or notches, for carving stone to make weapons… Maurice taught you to identify plants and mushrooms, the edible ones, the healing ones, the poisonous ones. One day, he even took you with him into the forest to learn how to track small game. Not that hunting was one of your favorite activities, and even if you still needed a bit of work in that area, being able to find and track game added a usefulness to your presence within the clan.

Being useful. That was all that mattered to you, and often, when night fell and Maurice left you to your own activities, you continued the work. You'd weave again and again until you obtained the exact density and solidity you were looking for. You could spend several hours whittling a piece of wood to the right angle or thickness. Carving stone required more strength and dexterity. You often ended up with scratches on your hands, but if that meant being useful, then you'd take all the cuts and scratches necessary to master these techniques.

With Maurice, you learned the manual stuff. But there was one last thing you needed to learn. Something that took time to communicate: sign language.

Caesar always found a moment in his day to teach you. You weren't sure why he'd appointed himself as your teacher for this language, but it gave you the opportunity to spend some time with him. And over time, you learned to savor those brief moments when he showed you a new word.

Moments of peace.

It was a strange thing to feel serenity in the face of this force of nature that was Caesar. Strong, powerful but also fair and caring. All he had to do was stand there, and all eyes were on him. He attracted loyalty and respect like a magnet, and everyone was bound to succumb to his power. And yet, in contradiction to the unsettled beating of your heart, you felt a deep sense of calm as you spent these moments beside him.

You looked forward to his daily interventions, brief and occasionally strict if you didn't place your hands correctly to form a word, as if they were a reward.

Yes, you spent most of your time learning.

However, on rare occasions, you did have time for yourself, or rather, you allowed yourself to take this time after lessons, without practicing. You mostly used it to wash your clothes or cook. On the days when a touch of nostalgia crept into you, you cooked meals from your old life. Back when you still lived in the city.

You couldn't always find all the ingredients you needed for the recipes you now know almost by heart, but you always managed to replace what was missing. Thanks in no small part to Maurice's teaching. And when you cooked, a sweet aroma would delightfully fill the space of your hut.

Tonight was one of those days when nostalgia rang at your door. You had decided to cook a ratatouille. A simple, unadorned meal, but one in which most of the ingredients were available to you in the village: cultivating the land was also one of the things you had to learn.

You carefully chopped your vegetables, some of them already immersed in an old iron pan you'd picked up on one of Maurice's supervised outings. The aroma of the tomato melted deliciously with that of the onion, and each portion of vegetable you added to your preparation pleasantly tingled your nostrils. You remembered how, as a little girl, you used to complain that you still had to eat vegetables while your mother sliced them with a smirk on her face: “You can decide on your meal when you grow up, and to grow up, you need to eat vegetables”. At the time, you thought this was the smartest thing a person could say, and it couldn't be further from the truth. Vegetables made you grow and when you grew up, you could choose not to eat them.

You inhaled deeply, savoring the fragrance's journey through your body until it reached your lungs. You almost wanted to hold your breath, letting the aromas mingle and swirl, but perhaps too soon, you exhaled, opening your eyes. How long had it been since you closed them? You weren't sure, but your heart skipped a beat when your gaze fell on the one of an unexpected ape.

“C… Caesar?”

His name falling on your lips was the signal that you had just become aware of his presence. He had watched you lose yourself in your thoughts and chosen to remain on the threshold of your hut, not wishing to disturb your deep reflections, whatever they might be. So he waited for a gesture, a mimic, a simple sign that you had become aware of his presence, before stepping forward.

As he drew closer, a tantalizing scent came wafting up his muzzle, and you couldn't help noticing his nostrils taking in a few breaths of the aroma. In fact, he glanced at your pan placed directly on the small fire, showing you that he had just identified where the smell was coming from.

Caesar plopped down beside you, always sitting so that he could read what was going on in your eyes. He often made the excuse that this way, you could more easily see and learn the words he was signing to you, which was true, but secretly, he enjoyed being able to study the slightest expression that ventured across your face.

And you were obviously entitled to a surprise quiz on your knowledge of sign language.

Caesar took care to sign slowly, stopping when he saw a doubt creeping into your eyes, sometimes repeating the sign that was obviously causing you difficulty in understanding, until you were able to correctly state the question he had just asked you, not without a touch of pride at your success.

“ You're not eating with the colony?”

You think for a moment, looking at your hands to try to find the right gestures.

“ Want to spend some time… ”

And when you couldn't find the right word, you said it out loud again.

“Alone.” You finished, silently asking him about the right sign for this word.

He looked at you for a moment, taking in your answer, before giving you the sign for the word “ alone ”. You repeated it to memorize it, and Caesar simply nodded when you signed it correctly. A comfortable silence settled between you and he glanced once more at the vegetables simmering quietly. The delicate sound of crackling food blended perfectly with the crackling of wood being devoured by flames.

You weren't done adding the last ingredients, and you took Caesar's silence as a signal that he wouldn't be asking anything more from you right now, so you set about crumbling the fresh thyme stalks on top of your preparation.

Caesar stared at the vegetables, their sweet aromas tingling his nostrils in waves, and when your hands appeared in his field of vision, he couldn't help but watch your fingers meticulously work around the thyme stems, creating a shower of tiny leaves over your meal. And as the food bubbled, the scent of thyme mingling with the other vegetables wafted up from the pan. For a brief moment, he felt as if a magic trick had been played on him, and his green eyes found their way to yours.

He knew about cooking. He knew that humans cooked every meal they ate, with the exception of a few that could be eaten raw, such as fruit and certain vegetables. He'd seen, and sometimes even tasted, when his humans' backs were turned, some of the meals and cakes they'd left on the table in the living room of his former home. But if he'd seen the finished products, how they were made remained a mystery. Will had never taken the time to show him how he cooked his meals. So there was something… wonderfully intriguing about seeing you at work.

Your gaze was still on the pot, and as you stirred the ingredients with a piece of stick from which you'd peeled the bark, you took a deep breath. Caesar watched your eyelids flutter and close as a smile crept over your face, as if a distant memory had just gently brushed over your mind.

You felt at home, and Caesar could have fallen even deeper in adoration at the serene, contented face you offered him, if he hadn't forced himself to avert his gaze, which he knew was sometimes too intense for you to bear. It was something he took note of mentally when he looked at you intently with the simple aim of learning the core of your entire soul. When his eyes settled on you for a little too long, you had this habit of rolling your shoulders, as if to rid yourself of some invisible tension, a self-conscious smile tacked to your lips, while your arms wrapped tightly around your chest to protect yourself from his inspection.

Caesar decided to keep his gaze on the contents of your pan, figuring it would be easier to suppress the gentle tingling sensation that was creeping traitorously into the pit of his stomach.

“It's… a meal that… my mother used to cook for me.” You spoke fondly, but with a hint of incertitude in your voice.

You didn't talk much about your past, just as Caesar didn't talk much about it either. Hearing you mention a memory that seemed to be cherished in your heart, though not sure it was the right thing to do, had softened the usually serious expression on Caesar's face.

Caesar nodded quietly, accepting your recollection as a gift, a token of trust. Even if these memories were attached to humans and to life before the release of the apes, they were memories that made you who you were today. Not allowing or accepting them would be like not accepting… you. And Caesar was already far beyond that.

You smiled again, your gaze lost in your memories. It was hard for him to understand how a simple scent could take you so far in thought, but after all, it wasn't for him to judge the complex emotions that must have been running through you at that moment.

“The same food?”

Caesar's gruff voice caught your attention, and a hint of joy lit up your face at his sudden interest in your past.

“Not quite.” You replied, still smiling. “I take the peppers off, I don't like them,” you giggled.

He huffed, slightly entertained by what seemed to be hiding a more detailed story you'd shared with your mother and didn't yet want to tell.

The smell was so tempting, it was hard to deny it. He watched you pick up the pot using a thick piece of cloth, so as not to burn yourself, and serve you a portion of food in a bowl. It was then that he caught himself thinking that maybe, some day, you'd agree to share with him this meal that seemed so dear to you.

[alphian-hcs]

Dorm Leaders with an s/o who has never received a valentines gift

Wondernote: Later on I will put character borders, but I need to churn out this so they are not available yet, but they will be up soon! also yes, this is slightly self indulgent, since I have never been given a valentine gift in a romantic way, or even friendly way lol- also dearest apologies for making this four days late. Prepping for college and adhd kept me distracted.

Riddle Rosehearts

- Riddle would honestly be familiar with this feeling, any valentines he would have been given would have been taken by his mother.

- He tries his best, asking Trey and Cater for help on what kind of things to get his S/O, eventually deciding to get a bouquet of his s/o's favorite flowers, and a self made tart, without any oyster sauce.

Riddle had been waiting at the small, white gazebo in the Heartslabyul garden, having invited his s/o for a tea party with just the two of them. Soon, S/O arrived, greeting Riddle with a smile as they sat at the table with their boyfriend, him seeing timid and nervous. Before they could get out the question of if he was okay, they were cut off by Riddle, who gently placed the gift of the tart on the table, before handing them the bouquet. "Apologies, I'm not exactly sure what would have been a good gift, but I dearly hope you enjoy this. Will you be my Valentine?"

Leona Kingscholar

- He would put in the least effort until he learns his s/o never had a valentine, now feeling he needs to give more effort, putting all kinds of expensive chocolates and jewelery with a sweet note attached.

- Leona would definitely have called Ruggie in to go and get the items he needed for it, though spends the time to set it up, grumbling when he gets frustrated with it possibly not looking good enough.

Kingscholar waited at the door next to his s/o's class, his tail waving back in forth anxiously, as he held the wrapped heart shaped box, some necklaces and bracelets wrapped around it. When the class was over he waited until he saw his S/o and pulled them aside, handing the box over with a huff and a simple question, his face dusted in pink. "Would you be my valentine, herbivore?"

Azul Ashengrotto

- Definitely went in thinking that he would be completely fine, but began to panic when he learns that the s/o never had a valentine who asked them out or gave them something. Azul then begins to plan the best sea themed chocolates, using Monstro Lounge's kitchen to make the chocolates and molds.

- Azul probably adds some extra coins he had on hand, like the chocolate coin things with some nice shells to surround the chocolates, putting it all in a special edition Monstro lounge valentines box.

Azul nervously looked to his s/o, watching them enter the office as he kept the box hidden, staring them down until he finally mustered the courage, speaking "Prefect, I know you aren't familiar with this sort of thing, but please accept this valentines. I hope you accept my offer of being your Valentine aswell."

Kalim Al-Asim

- This man would immediately make such a big deal out of the situation. Expect a bunch of gifts as soon as the door is open. Kalim would go all out, making Jamil stressed and his S/o buried in gifts

- Kalim spends all his time getting gifts, making cards, and even preparing a special party just for his S/o. Of course Kalim tries to make some candies, but Jamil intervenes once he realized what Kalim was doing.

As S/O opened the door to ramshackle, a large amount of gifts fell through, nearly covering them completely, while Kalim laughed, entering the dorm, kneeling next to his S/O, a few small bandages on his fingers from cooking incidents before Jamil's intervention. "Heya treasure! You okay? Sorry that they fell on you- but- When you said you never got a valentine I just knew I had to go all out! So, will you be my Valentine?"

Vil Schoenheit

- Vil would be concerned from this, but is already planning in his head in how to give his s/o a great valentine gift, while making sure it was a healthy and fashionable item for his S/O.

- He has Rook do some recon (Stalking) so he can learn of things that his S/O likes or is interested in. Vil would even avoid some modeling gigs just to focus on the project, wanting it to be absolutely perfect.

Vil had just finished the gift that he made, and began his walk to his S/O's decrepit dorm, confident that his S/O would like the gift. Soon he arrived and opened waited for his partner. When they came out, he gave them the bouquet and spoke "Here Dearest, I truly believe you would love this. I'm sure this doesn't need saying, but... Would you care to be my valentine?"

Idia Shroud

- Immediately says "lol same" before Ortho has to tell him to take this seriously, so that Idia doesn't unintentionally hurt his S/O's feelings. After that, Ortho immediately gets Idia to take everything seriously, helping his brother get ideas of good valentine gifts.

- After a long time of idea searching, he eventually decides to try with his own flair to it. He puts a bunch of game arts and chocolates in a goodie bag, along with a few coupons for a video game store.

Idia walked up to his S/o, his hair already flaring pink along with his face. Ortho was surely watching from somewhere to make sure his older brother didn't wimp out, So Idia knew he couldn't wimp out. The flame haired male walked up to his S/O and nervously pushed the gift bag into their chest, hiding his face. "D-don't make me ask twice, cuz if you do my hp would drop.. s-so uh...be my partner for t-this Valentine's event...?"

Malleus Draconia

- Valentine's? What's that? He would have to ask everyone in Diasomnia about the event, just so that he can understand what the premise is. Sebek is crying as he tries to figure out who Malleus wants to give a valentine's to.

- Eventually he decides on a simple black rose bouquet, with some small gargoyle like ornament in the center, with lots of dark chocolates in a nice box with a black and green bow wrapped around it.

Malleus walked to the gate of ramshackle, a smile on his face, as he pushed the gate open, meeting with his S/O, holding the bouquet close before he gently held their hand, asking gently "My dearest child of man, I was told of this holiday and the proper gifts. Well then, dearest. Will you be my Valentine?"

[ellaa-writes]

imagine you are stranded on the side of the road on your way to a party, in your shortest dress and highest heals. piece of shit car has a mind of its own, cursing it as you kick the tire and wave smoke out of your face.

looking around the deserted road, surrounded by thick trees on either side, the sun setting rapidly and night fast approaching. luckily your phone is fully charged and you have just enough reception to make a few calls but every call is going to voicemail. the sound of a car coming up on you, high beams blinding you temporarily as it pulls in behind you.

a tall intimating man steps out, asks if you need any help. his accent thick and heavy just like the rest of him. just looking at him makes you want to say no and risk your chance. but you bite the bullet, his smile softened his scary features. told you his name is Nikolai but you can call him Nik. he tries to figure out what is wrong with your car but to no avail, offering to give you a ride to the party you were telling him about.

he hands you a sealed bottle of water from the back seat of his car, cracking it open, you don't notice the salty after taste. or the way his eyes darkened has you leaned back in the passenger seat, closing your eyes just for a minute. Nik drove past the road that lead to your party, instead he kept going until he was halfway out of the city and down a long forgotten dirt road.

it might have been bad luck that led you to him, but it was all in his favor. he knew he was going to keep you when he saw you in your skimpy clothing standing next to your smoking car. divine intervention.

[hold-him-down]

Belleview Chapter Two (Part B): Felix

Notes: mostly low-level med whump

Belleview: Chapter 1, Chapter 2 (Part A)

TW: Institutionalized slavery, Med Whump, Med Exam, References to Noncon, Noncon touch, Dubcon Medical Care, References to Human Experimentation

✥ ✥ ✥

They expected him to die soon. Lincoln knows this, without prejudice, as well as he knows anything else about this place. Even if the handler had not introduced Felix with the caveat that they had recently ceased all medical intervention, Lincoln could put the pieces together by looking for twenty seconds at the handlers’ notes from the last few days.

According to the available records, during Felix’s first several months at Belleview, he went no longer than three days between ‘projects,' often with multiple projects stacked on top of each other. Lincoln has not yet researched every experimental tool or drug or procedure that Felix was a part of, partly because some of them were classified and the DOH had yet to access the details, and partly because, in the cases where Lincoln was able to identify the critical components of the trials, his stomach had bottomed out early and he had wound up six hours deep in case files trying to sort out exactly how this had happened.

After Felix's first nine months, they had slowed down with him. There was a three week break wherein Felix was not assigned to any long-term trial before he was pulled again, for what would have been the final time. It was a medical test for a hallucinogenic training drug that lasted nearly two months before abruptly terminating two weeks prior, when, to Lincoln’s best guess, the site had received guidance to stop any majorly illegal activities.

Felix appeared to have been neglected since then. According to the handlers’ notes, he had accessed only two meals a day, a few glasses of water, and, if someone took pity on him, was afforded some assistance in showering and using the toilet. If he didn’t, or couldn’t, eat what was given to him, he would go without eating. “That was part of the gag,” the handler said. “We couldn’t… well, we couldn't actively aid in their... uh, it was technically not allowed. But there came a time when we were asked to let them ride out the end. If they didn't eat, they didn't eat.”

There will come a time, Lincoln thinks now, that Felix will be asked to testify to what happened at this site. There will come a time where some semblance of justice will be served, at least to those who partook in the darkest corners of the system. He will see to it that Felix is afforded that chance.

He takes a breath and enters the small cell, which will need to be repurposed into a bedroom over the next day or so. Felix lays on the floor on his side, curled up as tightly as his frail body will allow. He doesn’t open his eyes at their approach.

“We call him Felix because he’s always smiling,” the handler said. He doesn’t smile now. Even in sleep, he looks scared. He’s covered in bruises, with dried blood smeared across his legs and torso. Lincoln had not caught that earlier, but it couldn’t be new. He’s pale. He swallows, and his body tenses for a moment before he settles back into sleep.

“He’s not actually happy, though,” the handler continued. “He flirts with everyone he sees, just trying to find someone to take him home, we think. He’ll do anything you ask him to, as long as he can understand it. The last couple weeks he’s been up and down, though.”

He’s shaking, and it’s not the light tremble of a scared boy who’s seen too much, but a deep, uncontrollable movement that possibly points to deeper issues.

Lincoln thinks through the side effects of the drug trials. The head of that project, Dr. Michael Gletzer, Ph.D, was a leading researcher in the country, highly sought after by pharmaceutical companies and the former Dean of Medicine at the University of Florida. He is available to speak at length regarding his research. He is not currently under arrest, and, to Lincoln’s understanding, has been cooperative with questioning. He will have to speak to the doctor, and he dreads it.

Lincoln watches Felix sleep for a moment, and the reality of what these men have gone through crashes over him. It’s a crushing weight, and he lets himself feel it for only a moment before he shuts it down and takes a breath, then makes a cautious approach.

“Grab him a blanket?” Lincoln asks quietly. From behind him, Philip moves to the cabinet and begins rummaging through its drawers. Lincoln kneels down next to Felix, his hand hovering over his body. He hesitates to make contact.

“Felix,” Lincoln says. He’s gentle when he finally allows his fingers to graze Felix’s shoulder. Felix’s eyes flutter open, although they are slow to seek out Lincoln. His features are uniformly lined with exhaustion, and Lincoln, for a moment, regrets waking him.  “Hi,” Lincoln whispers.

Felix blinks slowly and tries to sit, but even in that movement, it is clear that his body is failing. He struggles to get his hands under himself, and when offered support, he accepts it without any clear indication that he is aware he’s been touched at all. Still, he looks down at himself and takes an almost unnoticeable inventory of his condition. Philip approaches and drapes a blanket over his lap, and Felix offers a tiny smile in return.

“My name is Lincoln Prescott,” Lincoln says. “Do you remember me? From earlier?”

Felix watches his mouth, his expression tight.

“It’s okay if you don’t,” Lincoln continues. “I’m a doctor, I’ve been assigned to Belleview by the Department of Health.” There is little evidence that Felix hears him at all, but he continues the well-rehearsed speech. “As of 9:00 this morning, the contracted worker system is no longer active in the United States,” he continues.

“I don’t think he’s following,” Philip says from next to him. Lincoln nods.

He’s right, of course. “We are working on finding all of the residents of Belleview stable homes to stay in while the infrastructure is built for you to live independently,” he says anyway. “In the meantime, we’re going to stay here as a group and get you all some help, alright?”

Felix nods. 

“Can you tell me your name?”

There is no response, although Felix’s eyes search Lincoln’s, studying him intently.

Lincoln asks Felix how he feels, if he’s hungry, when he ate, how old he is. Felix doesn’t respond. The question hovers just out of reach, whether Felix can and doesn’t speak, or whether he cannot at all. According to the handler, he hasn’t spoken since returning from the most recent drug trial. Prior to that, though, there were no notable concerns with his speech, hearing, or comprehension. Best case scenario, it’s a trauma response and can be worked through down the line. Worst case is that there is irreversible damage to either his brain (most likely), or individual elements of communication (highly unlikely). Both are worth exploring.

Layered upon this, there are the issues of his physical responses. He startles easily but does not pull away. He blinks slowly. His hands are slow to find the blanket and hold onto it. His eyes are red, his skin has a kind of translucent hue. He expected Felix to require more substantial diagnostic testing than they’re able to offer, and it is clear to him that a trip to the hospital for scans is unavoidable.

As Philip sets up the admission forms on the tablet, Lincoln pulls a pair of blue latex gloves on. Felix almost instantly responds, which is ultimately a good sign, as hard as it is to address in the moment. The tremors that run through his body have taken a sort of panicked edge.

“It’s alright,” Lincoln says. “I’m just gonna look at you, okay? We’re here to help.”

Felix is cooperative as Lincoln takes one of his hands. He squeezes it once then turns it over, examining the bruising and scarring from months of drug use. He runs his thumb across one of the most prominent, likely the site of a long-term IV port.

“Let’s get this off you,” Lincoln says. He is cautious as he presses his fingers under the front of the collar, his touch light as he seeks the release mechanism. When he finds it, and the collar clicks free and falls into his hands, he is both relieved that it was simple enough, and horrified by what he sees. Dark bruises form where the clip sat, with deeper gashes toward the back of his neck where the plasticky-metal dug in during, what had to be, violent altercations. Lincoln runs his fingers along the lines there, but Felix does not react.

He takes his vitals, he does as thorough an exam as he can. There’s a very tender spot on the side of his head, and with the other potential signs of concussion, it shouldn’t be ruled out. Felix is especially jumpy when Lincoln runs his hand down his spine and over his ribs. Some are broken. Felix holds his left arm more gingerly, so Lincoln is careful as he looks checks it. Still, as Lincoln turns it over, Felix cries out, his whole body tense for only a second before he forcibly relaxes. 

“I’m sorry,” Lincoln whispers. Somewhere along the line, tears have formed in Felix’s eyes, and they now threaten to spill. Lincoln isn’t sure exactly how much willpower it takes him to keep them in, only that he does. As soon as his arm is released, Felix cradles it to his chest. 

“Can I look at your back?” Lincoln asks, gentle but assertive in repositioning him.

He’s extremely underweight, with too many vertebrae and too much rib instantly visible. A thick scar runs across one side of his abdomen and circles around his side. There are other scars, less visible ones that almost would be missed by the naked eye, but they’re there. 

Felix doesn’t make a sound when Lincoln examines lower. He watches the wall with a sort of sad detachment as Lincoln runs his fingers gingerly over some swelling in his lower back, then guides him onto his side.

“Almost done,” Lincoln says. “Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?” 

There is no answer, which Lincoln does not mistake for permission, but accepts at face value. He monitors Felix’s breathing, the cadence of the tremors that roll through him, his posture. Philip kneels in front of him, holding his hand and watching his face for signs of extreme duress. It’s the best they can do.

Here, the damage is obvious. Lincoln notes both bruising and tearing, with a slew of fluids, presumably belonging to both Felix and the handlers, dried onto his skin. Lincoln’s stomach turns over as he cleans him up, muttering whatever words of encouragement he can come up with.

The further into this they go, the more Lincoln questions the plan. The likelihood that even in a full service hospital, he would be equipped to manage this, is slim. He pulls off the gloves and helps Felix to sit, then drapes the blanket around his shoulders. 

“You okay?” Lincoln asks. Felix looks very, very far from okay, but the worst is over.

Felix brings his hand up to rest on Lincoln’s arm and squeezes it. It isn’t exactly confirmation of understanding, nor is it a show of okayness. Lincoln would be doing him a disservice by writing the action off as either. But it’s something close to it, he thinks. Lincoln smiles and covers his hand with his own and squeezes it again.

“We’ll get you better, okay?” he says. “Philip’s going to help you get cleaned up, get some food and water in you, set you up with an IV and some medicine to make you feel better.” There’s no recognition in his eyes, but Lincoln continues. “While you get showered, we’ll get you a bed and a TV, or some books, or anything you need.”

Extricating himself from Felix’s grip is a little harder than it was getting into it, but once he’s free, he stands, and Felix’s eyes track his movements. 

“N… n…” Felix reaches after him as he steps toward the door, and Lincoln pauses, turning. There is true panic, for the first time, in his expression. He wants to show you he can still be of use, the handler said. He wants you to pull him.

“Felix,” Lincoln whispers. “I’ll be back for you, alright? I promise you, I will come back." He takes a step toward the door, and the tears that threatened to spill earlier come back in full force. “I need to go check on your friend,” Lincoln says, although there is almost no chance at this point that Felix understands. He kneels down and tries to smile, but he thinks it probably doesn't land. “Philip will stay with you and get you cleaned up.”

He mutters instructions to Philip, and seconds later, he is in the hallway, his forehead pressed into the wall while he takes that whole interaction and locks it into a very, very tight box in the back of his mind. 

He is in good hands. He will be okay. He is not alone, and he is not going to be left to die, and Lincoln will spend the next four weeks making sure that he knows it.

✥ ✥ ✥

Belleview Taglist:

@pigeonwhumps @peachy-panic @whump-cravings @pirefyrelight @i-eat-worlds

@taterswhump @squishablesunbeam @inpainandsuffering @distinctlywhumpthing @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

@handsinmotion @whumps-and-bumps

[blissfulrain12]

The Psych Evals Are Useless!

I see the fandom put a lot of emphasis on the psych evals so I feel like I need to say this: THEY SUCK!!!!

First of it's just a checklist of questions being asked by employees who aren't mental health professionals. If it can accurately assess anything it's very limited.

Second apparently Curly has answered the questions the exact same way at least twice with no real follow up. Like he can just give memorised answers while actively spacing out mid conversation during the evaluation and still pass.

Third no one looks over them. They just get filed away.

Fourth even if someone were to fail there's nothing that can be done for them. There's no redundancy in the crew so they can't be placed off duty cause there's no one to pick up the slack. Any medical intervention like medication that might be available will come out of the employee's pay which actively discourages using it.

Fifth there's no mental health support for the medical staff performing the evals. That's just a huge oversight that could compromise the rest of the crew's mental health.

Sixth if the one question we hear Curly read is anything to go by the psych eval isn't even about mental wellness. It's focused on being a good employee. Whether they can still do their jobs not if they need mental health support.

I know people focus on the evals catching Jimmy but even an effective general psych eval might not catch Jimmy cause he's not actively distressed until he's been fired. Jimmy has issues but he's functioning and arguably happy on the Tulpar until he gets fired. Even then Jimmy being upset about that is normal it's what he does with that upset that isn't. For Jimmy to have gotten help someone would have to recognize that the way he treats Curly is abusive and intervene.

And not just Curly by the way. I know there's this emphasis on Curly being Jimmy's friend and supervisor but he's also his victim and based on what we see of their interactions he's been Jimmy's victim for a long time. Victims aren't responsible for their abusers. For example, Anya is in charge of the crew's mental health but when she can't properly do that with Jimny because she's both not given the proper resources and because he's sexually harassing her (at the very least since the game is unclear about when the rape occurred) we understand. When it comes to abusive behaviors it's up to everyone to keep an eye out.

In any case the person a good psych eval could have helped is Curly. Even with his repeated answers and the ineffectiveness of the PE eval Curly still pings as something being wrong. And when it comes to Curly there's a lot going on with him. He's sleep deprived both because of company policy and apparent insomnia. His work load has increased with more and more things on the ship becoming dependent on him since according to Swansea's comments it wasn't always like this. He's going through a crisis about his life's direction and feels trapped in his current job and feels like his life is something he's trying to run from. And most urgently he's actively in an abusive situation that he'd need help realizing and getting away from.

If PE cared more for its employees and took their mental health seriously Curly would have been better supported. The only thing the psych evals in the game are good for is shielding Pony Express. If things go wrong they can say they did routine evals and the employees passed them and if need be scapegoat the Nurse and Captain for not doing a good enough job.

So yeah, the psych evals are useless for the employees' well being but super useful for the company to escape responsibility.

[boundinparchment]

Con Clavi - II

You serve the church of the Tsaritsa, under Father Pantalone. Faith is a gift you received long ago but a certain heretical Harbinger is determined to push those boundaries. Il Dottore/Female Reader. Eventual Pantalone/Female Reader. Reader is a Canoness/Nun. Story is rated Explicit. Minors DNI. Religious symbolism, corruption, many many liberties, eventual smut. Dead Dove applies. Available on AO3 here.

Several weeks passed until the next time the Doctor stepped foot in the church.  A blessing you wished lasted for an eternity, for you had only just moved onto other topics of reflections that morning.  

Doubt was a familiar companion.  You knew its phrases, its steps, every logical pattern it wove against the teachings of the Tsaritsa.  Free will was a common argument made against faith, that humans were creatures with such high cognition that they could do as they saw fit and did not wear the yolk of the divine.  The reins of history were held in the hands of mankind, they liked to say.

But if that was the case, why did allogenes exist and were deemed to be blessed?  And why did their opposition come in the form of old god remains that took several teams to uncover, all of whom died in service, as though being punished for their sins?  

The Heavenly Principles were Her tools to wield and interpret as she saw fit.  If She wanted to hold Celestia close and sacrifice Her people, would that not be for a greater good?

Delusions were open secrets, like the indulgences Father Pantalone collected to reduce one’s punishments for forgiveness.  Those who wielded Delusions were the true soldiers of the Tsaritsa’s Will.

And your faith powered them.

The mechanics of it were, of course, lost to only those deep within the Tsaritsa’s inner circle, if even then.  

Considering the Doctor was the Second among them, he would understand the precise machinations and therefore his questions to you were nothing but pure curiosity.  Some said he hungered for knowledge in the same way a glutton hungered for food despite being full, arrogant to the point of insanity.  To have his attention was to have a rabid dog on your heels until you were caught, chewed, and spit back out.

Perhaps less like a dog and more like a snow leopard, you amended, when you looked up from your pupils and caught his tall figure in the doorway of the church library.  His steps were methodical, slow and calculated, the perfect pace and weight to ensure you heard him even if one did not look up from their studies.

Everyone else was out in service to the public or attending to their duties; the library was often empty for you to teach.  A Harbinger stalking through with no one else around was unexpected, alarming even.  Your heart hammered in your chest as though you were nothing more than a rabbit caught out of its den.

If Dottore was here, your students should not be, you assessed.  The last thing you needed was another student considering more blasphemous trains of thought after Father Pantalone’s intervention resulted in a speedy wedding last weekend.  Morale was low among your remaining students and if they were hesitant before, they were a little more distrustful now, understandably so.

Your skin crawled, icy patches fleeting over your cheeks and shoulders as they had against your shoulder blades that morning so long ago.  You once imagined the Tsaritsa’s gaze might feel that way, before you understood the warmth true faith provided.

You summarized your point and then said, “For next week, read through the letters thoroughly and provide an analysis from both perspectives.  Would you consider one more correct than the other?  Are there other examples we’ve discussed that provide further evidence or align with either one?  We’ll discuss your outlines in two days.”

Your tone indicated dismissal and you busied yourself with goodbyes, each of your students bowing low when they realized the other presence in the room as they left.

“You rushed your lesson,” the Harbinger said, not bothering with a greeting.  “Do you fear I intended to undermine you?”

“Hardly.  They simply need their focus on their studies; they can gossip when they’re out of my tutelage.   It would be an affront for me to assume you even wish to be in the presence of those undergoing non-secular education.”

Dottore chuckled as he pulled his shoulders back and stepped forward into the tucked away space between bookshelves, arms behind him.  The icy sensation finally ceased when his head turned to look around you, above you, where a stained glass image of a divine act sat.  

“You would do well in the Akademiya, Sister.  Your talent is wasted in these halls.”

His tone was sharp, a well-honed knife.  Sneznhaya had its own schools and universities thanks to the man before you, and few ever left to attend Sumeru’s hallowed halls unless it was deemed necessary.  After all, the nation was several centuries ahead of most of the Seven; why bother attending classes in a nation that had yet to master flight?

“What can I assist you with, Lord Harbinger?” you asked, tidying up the table.

“I simply wished to return a book to the good Father, but he appears to be out for the day.  Something about washing heads or kissing feet or some such nonsense.  I did not care for the explanation offered but dared not leave the material with Pantalone’s chamberlain.  If I must waste my time, I might as well have a look around.”

He rounded the corner of the table and came closer.  He was still a respectable distance away, only just, but if you shot out an arm, you could reach him with ease.  From here, you could smell lingering antiseptic and sweet mint.  Dottore picked up an errant book you still had on the table and read the spine, the slightest scoff passing his lips.

“Heloise and Abelard of Fontaine.  Fitting, for your perspective, Canonness.  Do you relate to their plight?”

He returned his covered gaze to you and tilted his head, an inquisitive raven like the ones you fed every morning.

Trying to get a reaction, you assumed.  You did not have the patience for games today.  Your faith was frayed enough and only beginning to cast light onto the shadowy doubts that plagued you as of late.

“Many do, my lord.  I find their philosophical differences to be a good vehicle for other discussions but I need not justify myself to one with a different…perspective on the world.”

The corner of his lip twitched and for a moment, you saw your entire existence flash before your eyes.  Lashing out with one’s tongue against one of the Tsaritsa’s finest, against one of her triumvirate?  Tantamount to cardinal sin.  Punishable by both revocation of divine rites and legal action if the injured party was insulted enough.

But instead, Dottore only laughed, shoulders shaking as if you’d told a joke at a cocktail party.  You felt his breath on your cheek as he reached over to put the book back into your neat pile, the cover facing you.  

“No, I suppose you do not.”

He turned his head and the heat was brief but unmistakable.  You knew the sensation but hadn’t felt it in more than a decade.  The last one you ever received had been hesitant, apologetic; this was soft, indulgent, exploratory.  A spark passed from his lips to yours and made your chest ache for more.

Your hand shot up and connected with his bare cheek.  The crack of your palm on his skin echoed through the library and bounced off the stone walls, a secret only shared with the books within its confines.  His head followed the impact, turning away and breaking the kiss.

Lord Dottore didn’t pull away immediately and you saw a wide, sharp-toothed smile accompany his angry cheek.  His skin was already red, the shape of your hand glowing right where you made contact.  You could barely breathe when his gaze settled on your (or so it felt).  His bow was nothing short of a mockery, hand over his heart as though he believed in the cause he supported.

“Thank you, Sister.  You’ve been most helpful.”

The words were spoken as if you’d delivered a speech most insightful and you ignored your burning lips as you genuflected a farewell.

Your heart hammered in your chest long after the door to the library slammed shut and then it stopped, just once, at the notion of being alone .  

How you wished you could carve it out of your body with nothing but the nearby pen.

[soubi122]

Spider's Web - PT 2

pt 2 of the request.

Warnings: smut, language, mentions of murder, mentions of drugs, drama, angst, violence, cheating, heartbreak, Ran i swear to god you make me write things that tear me apart.

Past and Present

Once you were home, you collapsed to the floor and bursted into tears. The pain in your chest was immense and it felt like you couldn’t breathe. Crying and shaking, you remained on the floor -  he was poison. You fought so hard to keep yourself from breaking. You still loved this man, regardless of what he did to you, your heart was faltering. However, your job was on the line. Do you stay or do you go? Do you put up with seeing the love of your life everyday knowing that you can’t touch him? Knowing that you can’t go back to how it used to be? Knowing that he destroyed your belief in love? One thing was clear though…he left you in order to protect you. His world was something he couldn’t share with you. Izana’s death was a blow to not just him but everyone in Tenjiku. If he was scared of you getting caught in the middle of a fight, it was way too late for that but he didn’t know that. You hid that from him in fear that he would let you go. Unfortunately, him leaving was the end result - regardless of you keeping your mouth shut. The argument from that day was replaying in your head. 

**flashback** One month after he got arrested you were granted visitation. Seeing him for the first time in a month, you first said your condolences. Ran, I’m sorry. How are you holding up? How’s Rindou? You say and wipe the tears from your eyes. It hurt. You’ve met Izana before and knew how much the men in Tenjiku cared about him. He’s fine. What are you doing here? I thought I was clear on my letters… Letters? You never received any letters from him. What letters? You ask him and take a better look at him. He had bruises on his face and his eyes were dark. Ran, I didn’t get any letters. What are you talking about? Are you ok? You ask carefully. Something was wrong and your internal alarm bells were going off. He wasn’t himself. I’ll make this quick, don’t come visit me anymore and don’t write to me. We’re done. His tone was heavy and you felt a sharp pain in your chest. 

Time stopped for a moment as you were processing the words that flew out of his mouth. …what? You say softly, he was surely kidding and just lashing out over the loss of his friend. However, the expression on his face didn’t change and he looked rather annoyed. It’s as if he was looking at something vile. Ran…you’re doing this here, now? Before you could ask him another question Ran stood up and called over the guards, signaling that his visitation was over. Yelling on the other side of the thick glass you call his name and feel the hot tears roll down your cheek. Ran could only hear your muffled screams and pounding on glass. Miss you need to calm down and leave the premises. The visitation is over. The guard says and tries to escort you out of the building. At first you refused but when he threatened action against you, you stopped and walked away with your head hung low.

The pain in your chest was immense and there was no one available to even talk to and get a sense of what Ran was thinking. You didn’t know Kakucho all too well to even ask him for help. Your only option was to write letters to both Ran and Rindou to get something, anything, out of this mess. The months flew by and you had yet to receive a single letter back from either of them. You released that they put in a request to refuse all mail when you were met with a box of unopened letters that were marked RETURN TO SENDER. They were the letters you sent. 

Spending your days in a haze, you fought your hardest to keep it together. You also had to fend for yourself even more now that Tenjiku was no more and you had no one to protect you. Multiple females would come up to you out of random and bully you or kick your ass all because of Ran. They would call it “divine intervention” now that you were no longer protected. Things were getting out of hand when men began to stalk you or try to assault you. All because of him. They wanted payback for Ran’s past actions. They wanted to hurt him the same way he hurt them. Sometimes you were lucky enough to have someone intervene but it wasn’t enough. 

By pure chance you bumped into Kakucho as he was sitting in a park with a small box in hands. Hey…  You say softly and approach him. (Y/N), it’s been a while.  He replied back, you can tell he’s suffered the most out of this whole ordeal. Mind if I sit with you for a bit? He nodded and allowed you to take a seat next to him. I’m sorry about Izana. How are you holding up? You ask and place a hand on his head. Oh god this was awkward, you weren’t too sure on what to say as it’s been a long time and well - it’s the best you could do at the moment. Your body ached and had bruises all over. If you were to hug him, you were sure you’d cry out in pain. The small laugh that he let out made you relax a bit. He appreciated your gesture and made sure to let you know by smiling. He truly lost everything but we didn’t lose him - well his memory at least. Retracting your hand, you bit down the urge to cry - you felt his pain. The way his hand was shaking, it told you everything you needed to know. 

After about 15 minutes of just remembering Izana, you finally built the courage to ask him. Kakucho…have you heard from Ran? Confused, he turned to look at you. What do you mean? Don’t you visit him at the detention center? However, the look on your face made it clear that something happened. No…he doesn’t want me there. I tried writing and got all my letters back unopened. Oh, Kakucho felt like he stepped on a landmine. A lovers quarrel. You explained to him how desperate you were to talk to him, you wanted to get clarification as to why he ended things without an explanation. He promised…he promised to always love you and gave you a ring to put on your finger to show that you were his. It was essentially his name that you wore on your finger. 

Look, I probably shouldn’t do this but do you want to come with me when they get released? I mean you don’t have to be exactly there but maybe wait for him at his place? Kakucho offered and you accepted. It was a small glimmer of hope that you held on to for dear life. Preparing for that day was hard, you practiced sentences in your head over and over again. A month later and the time came to finally see him. 

Sitting in front of his apartment building, you waited patiently for him and Rindou. Hours went by and you were getting worried. Was the date wrong? Did he get jumped as soon as he got released? Did he get jumped while at the detention center and they ended up extending his sentence? The thoughts were making you anxious and nauseous. You felt your stomach flip when you kept thinking of the worst case scenarios. Perhaps, they went to go see Kakucho or visit Izana’s grave? You felt yourself slipping as the night sky was soon upon you.

The sound of footsteps approaching made you perk your head up. In the distance you could see a group of people coming closer and you recognized Ran. You missed him dearly. It was getting harder to breathe, you weren’t ready - everything that you had planned in your head, it just vanished. When the group noticed you, you saw how they looked away awkwardly and the smile on Ran’s face dropped. H-hey. You stutter and slowly approach him. Sighing Ran didn’t even let you get another word out. The fuck are you doing here? Can’t take no for an answer? His words were cold and full of venom. You haven’t told me why? You retort, it was hard trying to stand your ground. He was making you feel so small and insignificant. I don’t need a fucking reason. Now like I told you, we’re done - we’re fucking done! Ran raises his voice at you and begins to push you away from the building. You fought back and kept asking him why but he wasn’t giving you any kind of answer. The rest of the men only looked at you with pity. Rindou couldn’t even look in your direction.

The final straw for Ran was when you threw his words back at him. ‘I promise to always love you, I promise to never leave you’. That’s what you said, that’s what you promised me! Feeling overcome with anger, he shoved you to the floor with enough force to make it hurt. With your body still recovering from an attack earlier this week, you curled up on the floor from the pain. To him, it just looked like you were just being dramatic. I don’t fucking love you! I never did! It was all bullshit- there! Are you fucking happy now? His chest was heaving and the vein on his forehead was pulsing. The person in front of you wasn’t the Ran you knew, this was someone completely different. He left you on the floor, broken and defeated. Everything was a lie now? He just said those things to keep you complacent? The person you fell in love with didn’t exist? You felt like a pathetic fool. The last image you had of him was of his back as he stepped inside the apartment building with his friends.  *end flashback*

It felt like hours before you could even move. Sitting up, you began to text Kokonoi, you were going to quit. He called you immediately and told you no. You were put on temporary leave until he could figure out a way to separate you from Ran.

He didn’t say how long it would take but he assured you that he wouldn’t let you quit. Throughout the week you dreaded everyday - you feared that Ran would kick your door in and do something. One day, you were sitting on your couch, typing away on your laptop to kind of help remotely when a hard knock on the door made you jolt to your feet and almost drop your laptop. “It’s me, open the door.” You recognized the voice.

Opening the door, you see that Kokonoi’s handsome features were distorted with worry. Everyone at the office spilled the beans about what happened as some of them either heard or saw the commotion. Letting him in, you apologized for walking out and bowed. Within minutes you were apologizing profusely. It was impossible to work in the office with Ran there. “You do know that I can’t let you quit, right? It’s not like you’re quitting an ordinary job.” He says and places his hand on your shoulder. For a moment you had forgotten what Bonten really is. You either leave in a body bag or not at all. “I don’t think I can work with him.” You openly admit. He knew how hard you were struggling to stay afloat, he knew everything about the separation. So he offered you a night shift instead. You’d be in the office by 9:45pm and leave by 6:45am - it was the only way to avoid Ran completely. This was going to stay between him and Manjiro for now. They were not going to disclose your hours with anyone else.

Sensing your hesitation, he added a bonus of having his driver pick you up and drop you off from the office. For your job to offer pick and drop off services, it was rare, especially when they were covering the cost of it. “Come on, princess…you know you can’t say no to me…you literally can’t say no to me.” His sentence started sweetly and then got a little ominous. With a heavy sigh, you agreed and he was over the moon. You grew fond of him and his sly ways. “Now, relax and then get ready - the driver will be picking you up at 9:15pm. You have all afternoon to mope around.” He says playfully and begins to head out the door. “Hajime…thank you.” You say and hug him. This sign of affection was completely new to him. He was not used to it, especially coming from you. “Okay…that’s enough.” He says as he wiggles his way out. 

Later on that night, you felt a little bit of relief when you walked into the office and noticed that they were all gone. It allows you to work at your own pace and also avoid getting pestered.

Going through all documents, you continued to work as normal - you pushed Ran Haitani out of your head and focused. Your job here was to make them money and help them take control of larger assets, not to cause trouble. 

Going through the week’s worth of files, you notified Kokonoi that it may take a few days to straighten things out. Tossing your phone aside, you dove back into the stack of documents and continued assessing all the information. He really was a mess without you. Preparing all items needed for each member was the last thing you needed to do before you left. Stepping into their offices, you set the documents on their desks and place the urgent ones first with memos. Everything crucial was highlighted and deadlines were given - these documents had to be on Kokonoi’s desk before noon. 

The final office you had to step into was Ran’s. You had to pause and count to three before stepping in. Even though he wasn’t there, just knowing that this was his office gave you anxiety. Walking in you tried not to take in his scent but the warmth that was building up in your chest had you screwing your eyes shut. No…you’re done - he’s done. You say to yourself and set the files down. While organizing them you notice that there is a ring on his desk, was it always there before? He wears rings so it’s nothing new but this one looked rather…special. Hearing the sound of the elevator door ding from down the hall you quickly finish and walk out. There is no point in letting these thoughts linger. Looking towards the elevator, you saw that it was just the cleaning staff and exhaled in relief. There was still that fear of running into Ran. 

Leaving on time, you avoided seeing anyone that worked in the office - even if they decided to come in early, they’d still miss you by an hour or so. 

By the time Bonten members arrived at the office, you were long gone and only left them their work for the day. The moment Ran walked into his office, he caught a whiff of your scent and felt his blood boil. You didn’t quit. Taking a look at the stack of documents and your handwritten notes, he was brought back to the time when he was in Juvie and looked forward to receiving letters from you. Your writing was always neat and laced with love. Fuck…  He felt dazed. So now you were here at night without prying eyes and ears to observe your every move. Perhaps this would give him the opportunity to run into you if he stayed late or came back at night.

Three weeks passed without an incident as Kokonoi kept a tight leash on Ran and made sure that the fiance was keeping him busy. He was getting annoyed at not being able to see you. It wasn’t too late for you to leave Bonten. He could try and negotiate your terms and maybe even keep you alive. He tried talking to Manjiro about it but he left the decision up to Kokonoi - this wasn't just a personal affair but a business affair that affected the organization. 

Ran spent the days halfassing his work to make things more difficult for you. Causing minor inconveniences was just the beginning. He kept doing things that would purposely slow your progress. It caused you major headaches having to read through each and every page to make sure that it was filed correctly. Some papers had coffee stains on it, food stains and other questionable stains that you didn’t bother to look into. You now often left closer to 9:00 am and had to risk running into them. You wouldn’t run into him that often but when you would, it was always something. He’d alway give you attitude, berate you, purposely drop the documents on the floor (making them scatter all over) or keep you waiting in his office until he was off the phone when he could easily have told you to come back. There were times where you felt like giving up because he was the only one torturing you. Not even Sanzu gave you that much trouble. Though you’ve caught Sanzu in compromising positions (either drunk, high, cleaning blood off of something or in the middle of a rather intimate moment) - you never bat an eye. As long as he did the work, you didn’t complain. Even when he would offer you a little something to take the edge off, you still didn't bat an eye. 

Ran’s pestering continued and now it escalated to doing things outside of his office. He’d purposely leave items on the very top shelf knowing that they were yours (snacks or drinks) and you couldn’t reach. The office supply room was the worst, he’d put everyday items on a top shelf and would hide the stepstool. There was no one to help you at night since the office was empty, often you’d have to wait for someone to come in so that they could give you a boost. After a kind of nasty fall, you stopped climbing the shelves and didn’t want to fall while the office was empty and no one could help you. They might just come in and see your corpse in the supply room if you fell again.

Often the underlings would find you in the supply room with Kokonoi. You were getting a boost (because Ran hid the stepstool) or needed for him to steady you when you were falling apart. When Ran would check to see his handy work, he’d feel a little irritated - his plan failed but also, the way Kokonoi’s hands were on you…it didn’t sit right with him. 

The following day, you had to come in during regular hours as you had to ship a few contracts out but the same issues occurred and Kokonoi needed to lift you high enough to reach the top. The supplies you needed to ship out the documents were on top of the shelf. With Kokonoi leaning against the shelf and your body pressed against him, he tried not to let his hand slip higher from your thighs to your rear end. Funny how he didn’t see a problem with your tits pretty much resting on top of his head. “How does he manage to find and hide all the step stools?” Kokonoi says as he waits for you to get the needed items. Huffing, you give a low ‘I don’t know.’ and finally reach what you need. Ran walked by the supply room, expecting to see you in tears or frustrated. However, to his bitter surprise he saw Kokonoi with his arms wrapped around you as he lowered you to the ground. The way you both paused to look at each other, he felt jealous and nauseous. In his eyes you were flirting with him rather than exchanging annoyed looks like you truly were. 

He walked away and waited for you to enter the mailroom. It took a few hours, but he kept peeking through his office doorway and getting up to get things to track your every move. By the end of the day, you made your way to the mailroom with the documents that needed to be shipped. The moment he saw you head in, he waited a few minutes to make sure the coast was clear. It was a little late so more than half of the staff was gone for the day, Kokonoi included as an urgent meeting was called. He stepped in and locked the door behind him with a loud clink. Looking behind you to see that the door was closed and Ran was approaching you, fast, you felt your stomach drop. Ran backed you against the wall, the look in his eyes was full of malice.

“Y’know…Kokonoi likes blondes with green eyes and long lush lashes…if you’re trying to screw him, you need more than that little mousey look of yours.” Ugh he made you sick. “I see the way you cling to him and the way you make him touch you…” He continued his banter while cupping your face. He wanted to get a good look at the tears he was about to cause. But the emptiness in your eyes only made him push you further. “What’s the matter? Hmm?” He says and presses his leg between your thighs. “Is he not your type? Or perhaps - you want to come crawling back to me?” Why was he going this far with you? Not even he knew why, but he wanted to keep pushing your buttons until your break. When you didn’t react, he got annoyed and leaned in to brush his lips against yours. That is where you lost it. You shoved him off and slapped him as hard as you could. Your blood was boiling. 

Trying to walk away, he snatched your wrist and pinned you back against the wall. Both his hands were gripping your face and he forced you into a kiss. As much as you fought back, he was overpowering you and you felt your heart break. Feeling his lips against yours after all these years… His kisses are still the same and your body couldn’t help but feel warmth. He was breathing life back into you with each kiss and each glide of his tongue. Ran was beginning to feel the blood rush south. The spark that lit your flames was burning through your threads of control. He carefully wiped the tears from your cheeks and bit your bottom lip. He was gentle with his hands yet he was so rough with his mouth. 

The rough kisses were making you pant and mewl into his lips. With his body pressed against you, the throbbing of his member made your core ache - it was wrong. Everything inside you both was screaming to stop and not to go any further. With your hands against his chest you could feel his heartbeat, it was pounding against his chest and he took your hand in his. Memories were flooding your brain, savoring his taste and relishing in his warmth, you caved and let him in. His hands roamed along your hips, lightly squeezing them and searching for your zipper. When you try to stop his hands from pulling on it, he snickers and ends up lifting your skirt above your hips. He was too fast, he lowered his zipper and you couldn’t keep up with his hands. Within seconds, he lifted you against the wall and your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively. You realized that his member was throbbing and essentially dripping against your inner thigh and core. Looking down, you felt a little panic at seeing how big he is. His tip was flushed red with pre dripping from his slit. Regardless of the countless times you’ve seen it before - it always made you blush. Were you really taking his cock on a daily basis before? 

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him in closer and deepened the kiss, he kept grinding himself against your clothed cunt - he could feel your slick seep through the fabric of your panties. His low grunts had you in a haze. His lips began to travel down to your neck. The open mouth kisses made shivers run down your spine, he was sucking on your flesh and leaving deep marks. “Mnh…Ran, don’t mark me…please.” Your breathy tone made him bite you. Your moan was loud enough to hear from the hallway, if there was anyone left in the office - they would have heard it. “Shh…they’ll hear us.” Ran whispered into your ear and nibbled on your earlobe. 

His finger hooked your panties to the side and the moment his tip passed your tight slit - you gasped and let out another loud moan. It's been 12 years and it felt like your first time. New tears were streaming down your face. The pain and pleasure was overwhelming - even Ran felt it. As he kept pushing past your barriers, you choked back moans to try and keep quiet. His low and husky moans made you clench around his length. He struggled to fit inside you, he had to pause and take a moment when he bottomed out. “Ngh…fuck, y-you feel so fucking tight.” He pants and squeezes the fat of your ass. He kept his forehead pressed against yours. “(Y/N)...” Hearing him moan your name only made the fire inside you burn even hotter. 

Slowly and carefully, he reeled his hips back and gave you short thrusts. He was still getting used to you, after 12 years he couldn’t recall how you felt or how you tasted. Forced to forget everyone and everything - it was like he was taking your first time, just like in that dream he had. The recollection of memories only made him melt more into your arms. “Ahn…Ran…” You moan sweetly and lightly roll your hips as best as you could to feel more of him. More and more your bodies burned for each other. Cupping his face, you pulled him into your quivering lips for a kiss. Soon his hips were picking up their pace with quicker thrusts. The more he hit a sweet spot, the harder it was to keep your voice down, you had to bite your lip or bury your face into his shoulder. 

Calling his name over and over again, he felt his core ache - it was desperate to paint your walls white. “My pretty girl…you’re still mine…all mine.” The way he grunted those words, you felt like you were going to lose it. If this was a dream - you didn’t want to wake up. Clenching around his length, he felt his coil tighten and it was close to snapping. No one else has come close to what you felt like, not even the woman who waits oh so patiently for him at home. 

The way your body kept hitting the wall with each move, it made your breasts bounce and he wanted nothing more than to rip your button up open. Everything was becoming hazy as your vision was going white. Your orgasm was near, you could feel it in your belly every time his tip kissed your cervix. It was torture, you wanted to scream his name but had to fight yourself to try and keep quiet. “I’m close…Ran-I’m gonna cum!” You moan softly and screw your eyes shut as the waves of pleasure continue to crash into you. Ran shifted your weight just enough to get a deeper angle on you and oh how it sent you into the clouds. “Oh f-fuck…that’s it baby, come for me…” He says and lets you ride out your bliss before his own cord snaps and fills you to the brim. You could feel every throb and spurt from his cock - you wanted nothing more than to keep having him nestled between your legs. 

Slowly you both slid down to the floor as your bodies were giving out from the adrenaline rush. The high was too good that your hearing was fading in and out. Leaning against the wall, you felt numb but in a euphoric way, this felt like after your first time with Ran. You knew what was coming next, I still love him. You think to yourself, despite everything he’s done to you - you never stopped loving him. Ran rested his forehead on your shoulder, he’s missed this - he missed you. Even though he had to steel his heart and keep it closed off from anyone, you just broke down those walls almost immediately. His fiance barely made a dent, she was great in bed, sweet, gorgeous, kept his bed warm and…oh. He fucked up. It’s not like him to regret adultery but the woman he had waiting back home was an important aspect for Bonten. They needed her in order to gain control of one of the wealthiest companies in Japan. If she finds out about you, she might just break the engagement off and end up marrying a rival gang out of spite. She’s petty and jealous but she didn’t deserve this. The realization of him saying you were his, he meant it he knew he did but it was a mistake. 

When he lifts his head to gaze into your eyes, the expression on his face was rather conflicted and you thought it was him just struggling with his emotions. He wasn’t one to come to terms with them so easily. However, there was something else - quandary began to come more and more clear in those lavender orbs. Even more so when his eyes shifted to your neck. It’s going to be hard to hide those. Someone was bound to see them or find out. Taking a risk, you cupped his face and leaned in to place a gentle kiss on his lips. It took him by surprise, but that’s the one thing you were always straightforward with - your love for him. After breaking the kiss, you whisper something into his ear before slipping from his hold and leaving the mail room. 

As you made your way to the women’s bathroom, you could feel him drip from your core - the rush felt amazing. It had you smiling from ear to ear. Luckily, there was no one left in the office and you hoped no one was there when he had you moaning like a bitch in heat. He was all you could think of. 

Ran was left alone with his thoughts. He had to think of an excuse and fast. His mind kept racing back and forth between you and his fiance. To tell you about her now will surely break your heart. Looking down, he had to make sure there were no love stains on his slacks or else he’d be setting this whole deal on fire. It wasn’t like him to panic or even think about things like this but he came to realize that perhaps…there were two people occupying his heart. Just the thought alone made him uneasy, if someone were to find out and word gets to either woman - things can go south fast. He’s cheated before but to cheat with someone you love, he didn’t know how to handle it. Would it be obvious to his fiance? Would it be obvious to the others? Will you tell Kokonoi about this?

Straightening himself out, he grabbed a memo paper and quickly wrote on it. Carefully he made his way to the men’s bathroom to clean himself up as best as possible so that he could go home and avoid any suspicion. Slipping away, he didn’t wait for you nor say anything to you. He rushed home. 

Stepping out of the woman’s bathroom, you go back into the mail room and notice that it’s empty. “Ran?” You called out and looked around the office and couldn’t find him. Returning to the mailroom you see the note he left you. 

Got called for an emergency - I’m sorry. We will talk tomorrow.  -R

Sighing, you shredded the paper and threw it in the bin. You didn’t want to just toss it as is or else someone might recognize his handwriting. You were ready to take him home, to show him how much you loved him, even after all this time. With your heart fluttering, the tips of your ears burning, you shuddered at remembering what just happened. Before you walked away, you realized that the documents were still here - the mail carrier probably just noped the fuck out of the office floor when he heard someone getting railed. It made you laugh, almost snorting at the thought of the person just listening in to you and Ran. It almost felt like the time where you two were going at it after a Tenjiku meeting and almost got caught. 

Calling in an overnight courier service was the best option to make sure that the documents arrived on time. The wait time was about 25 minutes. While waiting you just sat at your desk with a gushing smile. Kokonoi is gonna kill me… You sigh but decide to toss the thought aside until you could see Ran again. Thinking about what he said the day he had you pinned down on the desk - it never left your mind. Those words echoed on a daily basis in your ears. Despite his bullying and his abrasive demeanor, he was doing it for you - you understood that. However, at the moment you couldn’t consider his feelings. He could have told you this and should have given you a choice before he decided to break your heart. 

You felt yourself falling again, you wanted to feel him again and feel hands go down. The sudden desire had you clutching your chest as if your heart was aching for him. He’s the only one who ever made you fall this hard. Sure you’ve hit so many things on the way down that you felt as if your limbs were broken at times but the fact that he was waiting for you at the bottom, it was worth it. The void that had been growing in your heart was beginning to shrink down to almost nothing. 

*Back with Ran*

As he drove home he felt the guilt eat away at him for leaving you alone. The light that returned to your eyes only deepened the pain in his chest. Lighting a cigarette, he kept the windows rolled up as if he was hot boxing - he needed to make sure that no trace of your scent would remain on his clothes or skin. With the sound of his phone ringing he felt his throat tighten just a bit when seeing the name on the screen. Before answering he took a deep breath and cleared his throat. “Yes, baby?” He says smoothly. “Where are you? I thought you were going to try and leave early today?” Fuck. He missed dinner with his future father-in-law. “Sorry darling, we had an emergency - I’ll make it up to you and your father.” That charming tone smothered whatever flames she had burning. “Yeah? You’d make up for it? Tell me how?” Her sultry voice insinuated more than just a new dinner date. Ran kicked it up a notch or two by smooth talking to her and telling her all the filthy things he will do to her when he gets home. 

Opening the door to his shared home, he was welcomed by the warm embrace of his woman. What followed was her pinching her nose at the stench of the strong cigarette odor that lingered on his suit. “You smell like an ashtray.”  She laughed and guided him to the master bath. Even when insulting him she was still sweet to him. Stepping into the shower, Ran could see that she was eager to make his words reality. She kissed his cheek and headed to the bedroom, leaving him with a coy smirk - teasing him and enticing him. Scrubbing your essence from himself he felt faint. For the first time in his life, he had doubts about the women he was going to bed.

With a towel hanging off his hips, he makes his way to the bedroom and his eyes couldn’t help but gloss over when he sees her. Bare and bent over on the bed, she was gorgeous - that he couldn’t deny. It didn’t take long for him to move forward and give her everything she asked for. She fed his ego, his appetite and more. All the little things that he didn’t notice before were beginning to overflow in his head. Her repeated I love yous were real. She kept him in the clouds day in and day out. This was someone who was raised in his world, though she’s never had to throw fists - she knew the ins and outs of the madness that Bonten deals with. If only he’d met her first or earlier in life - he wouldn’t have betrayed you both like this. With his head hazy and with the frustration building up inside him, he picked up his pace and was being rough with her. She took all his anger, his worries, his emptiness and melted it away. 

By the end of the night, they were both cuddled together, naked and sweaty - the afterglow is what helped Ran make up his mind. He made a mistake that will cost him dearly. It’s either you or her and he had to make the choice tonight before he makes another error. 

Tomorrow…she needs to know. 

End Part 2

Tagslist: @nana-osakii @anxious-chick @reiners-milkbiddies @wakashudou @kodzukein

[m-jelly]

Chapter 5

Thank you @ladycheesington for the perfect banner

Vampire Levi x fem!reader

Victorian era like world, vampires, secrets, romance, falling in love, vampire lore, sexual tension, possessive Levi, protective Levi

This chapter: You overwork now you are engaged to Levi, so Levi and his staff put their foot down and urge you to relax. So, you do. While Levi is away for a few hours, you get a surprised visitor who presents you with an interesting proposal. Levi returns home and reads the room wrong. After a little talk, it seems like a plan and future is set in motion.

Part 6

The scratching of pen against paper filled the room and a gentle scent of flowers. It was such a cosy and welcoming room even though it was a study. Papers and books were neatly stacked on the desk and were being processed faster than they needed to be. Much to the annoyance of your fiancée, you were working hard through all the papers to help run his estate. With Levi being a Lord, you were going to become a Lady. You wanted to work hard for your staff. Levi would just have to be grumpy that you didn’t have every making moment available for him anymore.

The maid was quiet when they entered the room. She poured you a cup of tea and moved it closer to you. She noticed that the food she had brought you early on was not touched. She collected the food and left the room. It was normal for you not to be eating at the moment, which was bad news right now because Lord Levi was obsessed with you and deeply in love. He wanted you to be happy and safe, which was currently not happening with how you were eating.

Levi looked up at the maid as she entered his study. “Everything okay?”

She placed the plate of food on the table. “She hasn’t eaten today. I believe your intervention is required.”

He finished off his work and walked over to the maid. “Have you been taking in her dresses?”

“I have. She’s lost some weight. With the lack of food, working hard and umm…”

He sighed. “I’ve been drinking from her often and we’ve been having a lot of sex.” He ruffled his hair as he thought everything over. “I am partly to blame.” He hummed in thought. “I will get her to eat. Besides, I am craving her attention.”

The maid grabbed a bit of Levi’s sleeve a little. “My Lord, I don’t want to overstep, but perhaps you should refrain from being sexually intimate with your fiancé for a few days so she can catch up on sleep.”

Levi blushed a little. “You’re not overstepping, you are concerned for the Lady of the house.” He smiled a little. “I appreciate it.” He cleared his throat. “I will make my fiancé take a break and get her to eat. Thank you for coming to me about this.”

“I will ask the chef to prepare a filling lunch.”

“Thank you.” He bowed his head and moved down the hall until he reached your study. A pleasurable shiver ran through him when he opened your door. The divine mix of your scent and heat invaded his senses. “Darling.” He purred.

You lifted your head from your papers and gazed at him over your reading glasses. “Afternoon, my love.” You returned your gaze to your papers and spoke lovingly to Levi. “If you are after a meal and some body loving, I’m afraid you will have to wait a moment as I have a few papers to finish.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

You paused a moment as you pondered Levi’s question. “Mm…”

He moved closer to you. “You can’t remember, can you?”

You released a long sigh and started writing again. “I will eat soon. I just need to finish this off.”

He placed his hands on your desk and loomed over you as he sternly said your name. “Look at me.”

You gulped hard before looking up at his dark eyes. “Yes?”

“Stop working and join me for lunch.”

You shifted a little in your seat. “Just let me finish this one part.”

Levi pulled back from the desk and growled. With one hand he grabbed your desk and dragged it away from you with ease. Tension between the two of you grew as he walked closer to you. “I told you to stop working and join me for lunch.”

You whined. “Levi.”

He grabbed your wrist and yanked you into his arms. “I am concerned about you, my love.” He scooped you up like a bride. “You’re pale, you’re tired, you’re losing weight as well. The staff are concerned too. Please, take it slower.”

“But I want to be a good Lady of the manor.”

He kissed your cheek. “You are. You are truly wonderful and perfect. If you work too hard, you’ll just make yourself sick.”

You hummed a little. “You’re right, but…”

Levi called your name. “How would you feel if I did everything you did, hmm?”

You thought about it and felt tears fill your eyes. “I’d be so worried about you.”

He kissed your cheek. “Don’t be sad, okay? I just wanted you to understand how concerned I am for you.”

You wrapped your arms around Levi’s neck and hugged him. “I could go for a really big lunch and a nap.”

“Me too.” He sat you down in a chair and played with your hair. “Good girl.”

You blushed hard. “I…I am a good girl.” You grinned at the butler. “I’m looking forward to lunch.”

The table was covered in all the foods you loved, along with a few blood food for Levi that was made using your recipes. The plate in front of you became full with your food. You shovelled the food into you. It’d been so long since you’d eaten a good meal. It was clear that you were neglecting yourself when it came to food. What the chef had made was delicious beyond words could describe.

You downed some of your drink and hummed in happiness. “This is delicious. All the food is perfect. Thank you, everyone.”

The butler caught the maid in his arms as she began crying with joy. He smiled a little and gazed at you. “Sorry for how emotional we all are, but we’re just so happy that you’re eating again.”

You looked around at the happy staff and your smiling lover. An overwhelming sense of love filled you causing tears to fill your eyes. “I promise to never skip a meal again. I will eat all my delicious meals.”

Levi wiped a tear from your cheek. “Good girl.” He placed more food on your plate. “Eat as much as you like, okay?”

You nodded and kept eating until you couldn’t stomach any more. “Mm. Full.”

“Let’s get you to bed then.”

You stood up and bowed to the staff. “Thank you, all of you, for the wonderful food. I feel very loved. I will be more careful with my health so I can be a great lady of the house.”

The maid sniffed. “You’re perfect.”

The butler chuckled. “She is right, you are perfect. You have brought light and life into this home. As well as a spark in our Lord.”

Levi lifted you in his arms and smiled up at you. “She’s given me life, which is impressive because I am a vampire.”

You hugged Levi’s head to your breasts. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He adjusted you in his arms. “Bed.”

You nuzzled the crook of his neck as you thought about what bed meant with Levi. “Bed.”

He placed you on your feet by the bed and started undressing you. “Let’s get you comfy.”

You leaned closer and kissed him. “Levi.”

He fixed the nightdress on you before guiding you to bed. “Rest.”

You frowned as you lay there. “No sex?”

“No, my darling.” He sat on the bed and played with your hair. “Not today.”

You whined. “We do it every day though, multiple times. I love it. It feels incredible.”

He leaned over and kissed you. “I know, it’s a lot of fun, but you need to rest.”

You gripped the cover tightly. “Then, lie with me.”

He changed his clothes and climbed into bed with you. “Cuddle time.”

You shifted over and snuggled against Levi. “Mm.”

He squeezed you and kissed the top of your head. “I love you so much.”

You felt your body relax. “I love you too.” You sighed. “Thank you for today.”

“You’re welcome.” He played with your hair. “I’m sorry I haven’t been working harder to help you.”

You lifted your head and looked down at Levi. “You’ve been incredible. You’re the best. I couldn’t have asked for a better man in my life. You help me out so much and I have been silly. I have been working too hard and I should have…I…I should have relaxed.” You smiled sweetly. “I’ve been neglecting my handsome man.”

Levi tangled his fingers in your hair. “Darling, you have been showering me in affection.” He sighed. “My love, when we marry, I will turn you into a vampire. We will have eternity with each other, so…”

You leaned into his touch as you smiled. “Slow down.”

“Exactly.”

You leaned down and kissed him. “Eternity.” You shifted on the bed and straddled him. “I know you said no sex, but Levi.”

He placed his hands on your thighs. “Yes?”

You squeezed your thighs. “I’m really, really, really horny. Maybe some gentle and loving sex?”

He massaged your thighs. “You should really be sleeping.”

You reached up and moved your nightdress down your shoulders. “I will sleep better if you wear me out.”

Levi chuckled as he slowly got hard against you. “Well, if my darling fiancée needs my love, then I will help.” He turned with you and pressed you against the bed. “Only once though, no multiple rounds.”

You giggled. “I’ll be a good girl.”

He purred. “You and I both know, you are far from a good girl.”

You squealed in delight as he attacked your neck with kisses. “Yes.”

“You’re my naughty girl.” He kissed you and sighed through his nose. “My love.”

Levi gently held your face in his hands and showered it in kisses. “Now, I won’t be long, my darling. Please, be a good girl and stay in the manor. Make sure you eat plenty while I’m gone.”

You gripped his shirt. “Levi.”

He smiled a little. “Erwin and I are just going to do a bit of work. I’ll be back later today. We need to do a few checks.”

You sighed a little before approaching your friend Erwin, who was a tall and muscular vampire with incredible charm and charisma. “Lord Erwin?”

Erwin smiled softly at you. “My Lady?”

You took his hand in yours making Levi growl. “Please, look after Levi for me.”

“I will. You have my word.”

You kissed Erwin’s hand before turning to Levi. “Don’t be grumpy.” You fixed his cravat. “While you’re on business meetings and trips, I will do a bit more wedding planning.”

Levi whined. “We do that together.”

“I know, but I don’t want you to see my wedding dress. I want to surprise you. So, I’ll be working on that.”

He blushed hard. “I can’t wait to see it. You’ll be like a goddess.”

You kissed Levi before patting his chest. “Off you pop. Be safe.”

“You too.”

You walked with the two of them to the front of the home where a carriage waited. You blew kisses to Levi and waved. “See you soon!”

Your maid put a shawl over your shoulders. “My Lady, you should come inside now. The winter air is very harsh.”

You tugged it closer around you. “I want to keep busy while he’s gone, but I know he’ll get upset if I do.” You turned and sighed. “Wedding planning it is.” You smiled at your staff. “Shall we all gather together and plan?”

“Yes, my lady!”

You ascended the stairs and moved through the beautiful home until you reached the cosy parlour room. You sat on the soft sofa with a blanket over your lap. The fire was lit and filled the room with a welcoming heat. The staff sat with you having drinks and snacks as you worked together planning your wedding. There was just a sweet excitement in the air at the thought of a wedding happening that was filled with pure love.

You gazed at the last drawing of your wedding dress and knew that it was perfect. “I love it. This is perfect. I’m looking forward to trying it on.”

The attendant took the drawing from you. “We’ll get to work right away.”

“I appreciate all the hard work you all do. Thank you.”

Your maid handed you a cup of tea. “We do it because we adore you, my Lady.”

You fiddled with your cup as your heart fluttered. “Thank you. I’m glad I’m a good lady of the house.” You frowned a little when you heard loud voices in the entrance hall. “What is going on?”

“Sounds like the head butler arguing with someone.”

You rose to your feet and moved towards the entrance hall to see the butler trying to stop Prince Damon Monroe from coming in. “May I help you?”

Damian grinned when he saw you. “Look at you! You are stunning.”

You came to a stop before him. “I don’t believe Levi or myself extended an invitation to yourself. May I ask why you are at my home?”

“Your home?” He chuckled. “So, Levi really has taken you as his.”

“We are engaged.”

He purred a little as he moved closer to you. “What a waste. You deserve so much better.”

You held your head high. “Says who?” You tilted your head a little and looked out to see a grand carriage. Attendants were carrying presents and flowers out of it. “It appears you have been shopping.”

“All gifts for you!”

You lifted your hand. “No, thank you. I only accept gifts from my fiancée.”

He chuckled a little. “You’re adorable.” He turned to his staff. “Bring it in!” He walked up to you and took your hands in his. “I am declaring my love to you right here and now.”

You tried to pull away. “You don’t know me. You cannot love someone you don’t know.”

He squeezed your hands tightly. “It was at first sight.”

You yanked your hands from his grip. “Such a child, honestly.” You sighed. “I am rejecting your love.”

“Understandable.” He chuckled. “I wasn’t expecting you to accept when I saw how you and Levi were at the theatre weeks ago.” He stared at his staff. “There is something serious that I want to talk to you about.”

You frowned a little before you realised that he seemed almost scared and a bit angry. You turned to your butler and smiled. “We’ll have tea in the meeting room.”

The butler bowed. “Yes, my Lady.”

Damian smiled at you. “Thank you.”

You bowed your head. “I think it would be best to excuse your staff, don’t you?”

He glanced at his people. “Wait for me in the carriage. I am having a delightful date.” He walked with you and began to whisper. “Sorry, but I have eyes and ears on me. Calling this a date for them to leave us.” He offered his arm. “You read me and this situation well.”

You took his arm and let him escort you. “I read your fear. It was familiar.” You walked to a nice warm room and led him to a chair. “Take a seat.”

He waited for you to sit before he joined you. “Thank you for hearing me out.”

You sighed. “Levi warned me about your sister only.” You waited for drinks to be poured before talking again. “When I first laid my eyes on you, I knew that you were a hurt and tortured man. I questioned Levi and he confirmed my assumptions.” You shifted in your seat. “I know it means nothing, but I am sorry for your treatment.”

Damian smiled sadly. “I…I’ve never had anyone…thank you. It does mean a lot.” He sipped his blood tea. “I did not lie when I said I have fallen for you. However, I will put that aside because what I wish to discuss with you is very serious.”

You crossed your legs and relaxed a little in your seat. “You are seeking my approval first because if I say yes, so will Levi.”

“You’re smart.”

You hummed a laugh. “You’re assuming that I have a lot of power.”

Damian laughed. “You don’t know how much power you have over Levi, do you? Since you entered his life he has changed so much with his businesses. A lot of things are catered towards your likes.”

Your cheeks burned a little. “I…did not know.”

“Which is cute.” He smiled a little. “You are right though. I am seeking your approval so I can get Levi’s support.” He clenched his jaw. “There is no denying it, Levi is incredibly strong. If it weren’t for our family having two children, it would have been Levi or Erwin leading the vampire people.”

You frowned a little. “Your sister became the Queen because her mother had two children?”

“Our family has always been the royal family of vampires. We have been lucky to have multiple children. Pureblood vampires can have children, but fertility is rather low and most have one child. So, having two is special. Even more special that we are twins.” He lowered his gaze. “Almost laughable really. Twins are supposed to have a sweet connection, yet I feel nothing for her.” He huffed. “I did promise my mother I would care for her.” He smirked. “Though I am sure my sister was behind the death of my mother.”

You gulped hard. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Thank you. I miss her every day. I wanted to run away with her, take care of her and give her an easy life. My father and sister are wicked, nasty and cruel.”

You gripped your cup as your heart hurt. “She deserved better, so do you.”

“Hmm…I agree about my mother, but not about me. I am not a good man. I have done bad things.”

You locked eyes with him as tension filled the room. “Should I be concerned?”

He shook his head. “No. No harm will come to you. I care for you too much.”

“Should I be concerned for Levi’s safety?”

Damian pondered your question for a moment. “No.”

“That was a long pause.” You put your cup down. “Damian, before I hear you out I want you to promise me something.”

“Sure.”

You sat up and glared at him. “I want you to swear to me that whatever it is you want from Levi, Erwin and me, you will not hurt Levi and ensure he will be safe.”

Damian let out a defeated sigh. “All right, you have my word.”

“Thank you. Now, what is it you want help with?”

He leaned forward. “I want to kill my sister.”

You stared at him for a while. “I’m sorry, but did you say you want to kill your sister?”

“Yes.” He downed his drink. “There is no denying the harm and destruction she causes. She breaks people for fun. She tortures people and he blind obsession with Levi is psychotic. She destroys everything in her path to get what she wants. She will come for you. She will hurt you. I made her promise not to kill you and said I would deal with you. She agreed to it. If I didn’t do that, she would have killed you.”

You gripped your dress. “That would break Levi. I can’t die or he’ll go mad.”

“Exactly. He has hidden his mother and father for a long time, but if she ever found them, she would likely kill them too. She’s a danger.”

You let out a long sigh. “It seems that way.”

He gazed at you. “The rest of us want to tell people about vampires. We don’t want to hide and we want to work with humans and other supernatural beings. She is segregating us on purpose. She believes that vampires are higher beings.” He shook his head. “How are we? Some of us can’t even go out in the fucking sun.”

“You’re right. Levi has also said he would like to be out in the open.” You sighed. “Is killing her the only option?”

“Believe me, I have thought of many. If you lock her up, someone will break her free and she will come back even deadlier than before.” He looked down. “This was a hard choice for me. Even though she has done horrific things to me and others, she is still my sister. She was loving once when we were very little kids. One day she hurt a maid and something clicked in her. She enjoyed hurting the maid and she never looked back. I believe this evil within her is not something that can go away, it is the true version of her.”

You fiddled with your dress and stared at your lap. “I don’t believe I am qualified enough to make this choice.”

Damian reached over and placed his hand on yours. “You will become Mrs Ackerman. You’ll be married to a very powerful vampire and likely he will make you one too. You won’t be a pure blood, but being turned by one as strong and as powerful as Levi will give you an advantage.” He sighed. “No matter how much you deny it, you will be a strong vampire and will have a big impact on the order of things.”

You took a freshly poured cup of tea from your butler. “You’re right. I will have a lot of power.”

The butler placed some snacks on the table for you. “My Lady, may I say something?”

You nodded. “Of course.”

“He is correct with the amount of power you will gain by marrying my Lord.” He sighed. “Also, I am against the death penalty like you are, but I do believe that the Queen must die. My Lord and Lord Erwin have worked hard together to try and stop her, and so have many others but she cannot be stopped. Death is the only option.” He placed his hand on your shoulder. “I understand it is a hard choice.”

You nodded as you thought everything through. “I can’t believe I am saying this, but I agree with you. Your sister is a terrible person and I know that many people will be happier and safer without her in it.” You sighed. “I don’t think you need me to convince Levi to kill her. He has made it clear to me and others that he wants her head. However, the issue you have is getting him to work with you. He doesn’t trust you on bit. He thinks you’re a piece of shit.”

Damian stared at you for a moment before laughing. “No offence taken.”

“I’m being truthful with you because you have been with me.”

“I appreciate it.”

You shuffled in your seat. “Knowing Levi, you will need to prove yourself to him.”

“Right and how would I manage that?”

You smiled. “Maybe don’t shower me with gifts or flirt with me.” You looked up at your butler. “Right?”

Your butler chuckled. “Indeed. My Lady is correct in her words. My Lord cherishes her more than anything in this world. If you flirt with her or try to take her from him, he will never help or trust you.”

Damian groaned. “All right, all right, I get it. It’ll be hard because I like you and on top of that I am a natural flirt, but I need the help. So, I agree to your terms.”

You smiled. “Thank you.”

He took your hand and kissed the back of it with a light smirk. “Anything for you.”

You gasped when Damian flew across the room and away from you. You looked up to see Levi had the Prince pinned to the wall by the neck. “Levi!”

Levi snarled. “Mind explaining to me before I rip your throat out why you are here, why there are gifts in the hall and why you are kissing my fiancée’s hand.”

Damian grunted and winced. “I was making a deal with her about my sister.”

You hurried over to Levi and gripped his arm. “Levi, let him go, please?”

Levi looked down at you. “Are you!?” He fought his anger and suspicions. He knew you were a loyal person and you loved him with all your heart and soul. You would never cheat on him, ever. He released Damian and held you in his arms. “Forgive me. I got mad there for a moment and thought the worst.”

You held him tightly. “I love you, Levi. I would never betray you.” You pulled back and smiled. “Hear him out, okay?” You looked over to a confused Erwin. “You too, Erwin.”

Erwin moved closer. “What is it, Damian? What is it you want from us?”

Damian rubbed his neck as he stumbled to his feet, his long hair was a mess and his clothes creased. “I came to make a deal. My sister needs to die.”

Levi growled. “That we can agree on.”

You rubbed Levi’s chest. “Damian wants to help.”

“What?”

“He wants to help you both. I know you don’t trust him, but he could be of great help.” You blushed and mumbled. “I made him promise not to hurt you or be mean and he also said he would flirt, touch or do anything to me.”

Levi kissed you and sighed. “All right. We’ll hear him out, but I don’t like that he came to you first.”

You smiled. “You would have chased him away if he didn’t.”

He pouted. “You’re right.”

Erwin ruffled his hair. “Let’s get this meeting over with.”

Levi showered your face in kisses. “Go for a bath. I will join you soon.”

You nuzzled your nose against his. “Okay, handsome. Don’t be long.”

“Promise.”

You kissed him one last time before leaving him to have a meeting with Erwin and Damian. Worry seeped into your heart as you made your way to your room. Both men were stronger than Damian, so if there was a fight you knew who would live. The issue was the future. Killing the Queen was the best option but there was a high chance people were going to get hurt in the process, or worse.

The soothing smell of lavender was not helping you to relax. Even with your eyes closed, you were still worrying about the future. Anxiety had a tight hold on you. The maid tending to you was trying to relax you with a cold towel on your head and over your closed eyes. The only thing that could make you better, was Levi.

Your body finally relaxed when you heard familiar smart shoes tapping on the tiled floor. You let out a sigh of pleasure when Levi ran his hands over your shoulders and began massaging. “Levi.”

Levi kissed your temple and hummed. “While I was having my meeting, I could just sense that there was something wrong with you. You were so anxious. What troubles you?”

You reached up and dragged the towel off your eyes. “The future.”

Levi’s flinched a little and hesitated for a moment before he carried on massaging you. “About us?”

You turned in the bath and faced him. “Not us. I can’t wait to marry you. I want to be a vampire with you and hopefully, we get lucky and have a baby.”

He hummed a laugh and kissed you. “I want all that too.”

You sighed a little. “I just worry about this other path.”

“Killing the Queen?”

You nodded as you whined. “People will get hurt. I know this needs to be done. She needs to go.” You pouted. “I don’t want people to get hurt, but I know there is no avoiding it.” You tapped your forehead against the edge of the bath. “Sorry. My head is just loud right now.”

Levi stood up and removed his clothes. “I understand.” He climbed into the bath and pulled you against him. He adjusted you and held you close. “My head is very loud too. Killing the Queen will be hard and there is a chance people will get hurt, but it has to be done.” He kissed the top of your head. “Good things are coming.”

You smiled. “Wedding.”

He chuckled. “That’s right.”

You leaned up and kissed him. “I can’t wait.”

“I can’t either.” He rubbed your cheek. “Mrs Ackerman.”

You whined and nuzzled the crook of his neck. “Fits me well.”

“It does. Lady Ackerman.”

You bit Levi’s shoulder. “No teasing.”

He massaged his fingers in your hair. “My love, my darling, my everything.” He covered your face in kisses. “I adore you. I love you.”

“I love you always, Levi.”

He hummed and held you close. “I’m thinking we just get a lovely long sleep tonight.”

You yawned a bit. “Yeah, that sounds perfect.”

[afreakingdork]

Weak Spot - Chapter 38

RotTMNT Donatello x Reader

Chapter art by the INCREDIBLE @garbagemilkshake

Warnings: Aged-up Turtles, Romance, Meet Cute, Villain Donatello, Cussing, Crushes, Xenophobia, Fear, Intimidation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Hurt/Comfort, Love, AFAB Reader, Vaginal Sex, Sex Rough, Sex, Penis In Vagina Sex, Creampie, Teasing, Scent Kink, Sexual Tension, Breeding Kink, Multiple Orgasms, Cunnilingus, Fellatio, Marathon Sex, Somnophilia, Intercrural Sex, Bondage, Feral Behavior, Feral Donatello (TMNT), Mating Cycles/In Heat, Public Sex

Synopsis:  A love story of villainous proportions! Though it hadn’t come easily, as these things rarely do, you found yourself in a whirlwind romance with a handsome and mysterious mutant. His idiosyncrasies had been easy to ignore as attraction grew into something more. However, will love endure when the unknowns about him end up being far darker than you ever considered?

Warnings Below Cut.

Also available on Ao3

First 💜 Previous

Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse and kidnapping

Please keep yourself safe.

“Okay.” Across from you, your ex-roommate, Coral, pressed her fingertips to the table.

From where you were sitting at the same wired structure, you glanced around the café without moving your head. She’d recommended getting coffee before officially hitting the farmer’s market and meeting up with the others. It hadn’t struck you as odd since your schedules hadn’t substantially sunk up since Donnie’s heat, but now, seeing her as ready as someone about to make a business deal, you were on edge. “Okay…?”

Your drinks hadn’t even arrived yet.

“First off, safe space. I already took your phone.”

“You-?” Hands flying down to check you found your left wrist empty. “Coral…”

“Your weird bracelet also wigged me out.”

“Coral!” You seethed, taking your turn at putting your hands to the table, albeit with more force.

“I know.” She flicked her gaze up to meet yours.

Seeing only severe honesty there, you wilted with a partial scowl. “You stole my shit. What do you mean safe space?”

“I want you to know he’s not listening in.”

“Who?”

She gave a heady sigh and took a languid look around. “Do you ever feel followed?”

That was a mounting concern, but not one you’d shared with her. “No.”

She passed you a glance in turning her head before sweeping a hand back through her unruly locks.

There was something telegraphed about the move that had you narrowing your eyes. “What was that?”

“All clear.” She responded easily.

Spine straightening, you spun around in your seat and combed the same area. At first glance, nothing was out of place, but as you started to examine the New Yorkers, you caught a glimpse of Kaleb from behind a newspaper. “They’re all here, aren’t they?”

“Yes, we set up a perimeter.”

“What the fuck!?” You snapped back to her so fast your body hadn’t quite caught up with the rotation. “What is this?!”

“It’s not-” Coal stopped and beamed a smile.

You soured knowing it was a café worker before they even spoke.

“Here’s your drinks! Let me know if you need anything else.” With a parting peppy voice, two ceramic mugs were set down on the table.

Coral scooped hers up and took a sip.

From where you’d unconsciously hunched over yours, you examined her through your lashes. All she needed was a hat, sunglasses, and a Parisian backdrop and she’d be something out of a travel ad. “Cor.”

She finished off a long gulp and set her mug back down on a saucer. “It’s not an intervention.”

“Explaining what it’s not doesn’t say anything about what it is!”

“I just want you to know you’re safe.”

“I don’t feel like it! You took my phone and-” You stopped short and bit down on a grimace. You’d never even named your tech gauntlet and now certainly wasn’t the time to start. “-my bracelet. Do you know what a huge invasion of privacy that-?”

“I need you to know he’s not listening in.”  

“Who!?” The only person who could was S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. and he had your full trust. More often than not these days, he rarely tapped in unless you gave him a signal or your vitals indicated something.

“I passed it off after we ordered. Nels has it and he’s the furthest away.”

“You’re…!” You felt crazed. Wild eyes looked through the reflections of the café window. “I know you’ve messed with my shit a lot over the years and I should have put my foot down, Coral, but this is-!”

“I know.”

Her harsh words cutting straight through to your core caused you to give an exhausted slow blink. Coming open you took a sip of your drink and spoke against its rim. “The others wouldn’t be playing along without good reason.”

“There you are.”

“I didn’t go anywhere.” You grumbled, finishing a swig. Coming down, you clanked your mug. “So not an intervention. What then? You’re acting like I died.”

“You almost did.”

“This again, Coral, I already explained-!”

She slapped the metal of the table so hard your hand shot out to stabilize your mug. 

She let hers slosh. “I’m going to come right out and ask; I just want you to take a moment and not react right away when I do, fair?”

You stared at her and threw a helpless hand up. You let it gesture to go ahead before it fell back to the metal with a plop that stung.

“Has Donatello hurt you?”

She hadn’t needed the warning.

Even without her input, you would have slowed.

Giving a sigh, you propped an elbow to the table and fiddled with your mug’s handle.

This wasn’t the first time she had brought this up. During the multiple times you’d come home bruised and battered, she’d hinted heavily that she thought it was his fault. In the many ways you’d twisted it, they’d all been believable enough and she’d let the whole thing lie. The change that must have recently cinched it for her was your withdrawal. Seemingly out of nowhere, in her eyes, you’d stopped hanging out with the group as a whole. Cursing the blue idiot who’d pushed you to do so you shook your head. “No.”

Coral didn’t move a muscle, but it was clear she didn’t believe you.

“Cor-”

“Then who?” Her voice was hindered.

“I told you-”

“You told me something, but that wasn’t the truth, was it?”

Looking away would admit guilt, so you closed your lips around circling the same excuse.

“I just…” She broke first, gaze shooting away with a flash of picked at wounds. “It’s not me. I have to believe that; that it’s not that you don’t feel comfortable in telling me, so what then? There’s something preventing you from being honest. This all started when he came around so it has to be him. That’s why I got the phone away and that weird communicator; in case he’s listening.”

How’d she know you could communicate with it? “He’s not.”

“Then why?” Her gaze returned with glistening eyes, but she buried them to drain her mug. Slamming it down, she regained her cool and steadied her shaking fingertips in straightening ceramic. “Sorry, guilt’s not a way to go about it. I’m supposed to make you feel safe; sorry about that.”

It wasn’t new.

You’d never once missed her worry.

She was obvious about everything she did.

What struck you in that moment was the separation.

You’d forgotten that since moving out, she didn’t have the same access to you.

What she’d gotten instead were bits and pieces filtered through digital means. You’d gone from living together to barely seeing each other where life interfered. The worries she had already had must have rotted her away in that time. She didn’t have the same reassurances of seeing your highs. It’s not like you took to a messenger to scream when you were  living it up. Being immersed in elation was often done in the moment. It was when you were down and lonely that you reached out. It perfectly coincided with your hike of messages. You’d stopped going out the same time you tripled your online presence. It indicated something she had no way of knowing.

All her messages asking how you were took on a new light.

“I won’t… do anything.” She gave a chuff that looked like it hurt. “That’s saying something, but I swear I won’t. If we need to get you away, we have a whole smuggling plan that’s admittedly half baked. He may be a mutant, but there’s way more of us.”

You softened sadly.

She took the look with a nervous flick over your features and stumbled on. “You might feel trapped, but I want you to know that’s not the case. We’re all here for you. I didn’t bully everyone… mostly. Okay, I bullied them a little bit, but you know they wouldn’t let my ass have free reign.”

You nodded.

“What I’m trying to say is… and I’m not trying to read into things, but that look kinda makes it seem like there’s no other way, but there is. I need you to hear that there always is.” She turned up the bearing of her soul to stare into your eyes.

You had to tell her.

At this point, why hadn’t you?

She was crazy, but she also loved you.

You loved her.

You probably would have needed to assemble your friends the same way to break it to her though.

That was just her nature.

“Coral.”

She nodded, clearly wanting to spew more of her research, but kept a tight lip.

“I haven’t been honest with you and I want to say it was for good reason, but right now… seeing you like this… I’m not so sure…”

Her fingers squeezed her mug handle.

You reached out and laid your hand out on the table, palm upright.

Her appendage dropped right into it.

You squeezed, once for reassurance. “It’s my turn. I’m going to say something and you’re going to wait before you respond.” The second constriction was to drive your point home.

She scoffed, but there was a warbled quality to it before she gave a nod.

“Two of the times were Donnie, but not in the way you would think.” You had to look away as nerves reared their heads.

Even if you had decided to explain, that didn’t mean you weren’t mortified by the prospect.

You were as sex positive as the next person, but society's shame ran deep.

She pinched your index finger to alert you that she’d heard.

The fact that she was holding back spoke volumes.

Returning your gaze, your bottom lip curled.

“The… first time, early on? When I was having trouble walking…?”

She was watching you with open intention, taking everything in earnest.

You wanted to bury yourself in a hole. “Ugh.” Lowering your head you reached your free hand up to rub your temples. “Just say it.” You brought your head up and mustered courage. “There’s a learning curve to human-mutant sex that neither of us accounted for.”

Though her eyes were still trained on you the same way, they seemed to lose their luster.

“I wasn’t hurt, but I did… need to heal…” Your teeth flashed as your anxiety fizzled out.

“You literally couldn’t walk.”

That had two connotations. “Yeah…”

“I know I pestered you about his dick, but… come on!”

You let her hand go and shook it out as if she burned you. “There’s more, can you not… get into that so soon!?”

“Is it more sex stuff?”

“Coral!”

“Eugh! It is!!” She laughed, threading her digits into knots of metal. “I mean, get it, but I was worried over that!?”

Your palms were pressing into your lids before you realized it. “There’s more. Can you-!?”

“You’re right, you’re right. Your humiliation fuels me. Keep going.”

“The second injuries… are harder to explain so let’s wait, but I will say they are not from Don at all, okay?”

She nodded.

“The most recent…” With your lips still parted a weird noise came out like a creaking door. You pressed your tongue to the roof of your mouth to silence it before trying again. “That was the worst one, right? I disappeared. Car crash… my dead… relative…?”

“I could smell that bullshit a mile away considering you didn’t immediately know which.”

“I thought you were being a little too cool about that…” You gave an awkward laugh.

As if to scorn you for even trying to inject comedy into the situation, Coral folded her arms.

“To be fair, this was totally new for Donnie too. None of us knew this was going to happen.”

She arched her brow. “Quick question.”

You were almost thankful for the small reprieve. “Yeah?”

“Us makes it sound like there’s someone else.”

You shrank a little in your seat. “There… uh… is…”

Her brow only rose higher and seemed to cause her head to tilt with the weight of it.

“Another shelf, just temporarily… When I start to explain it, it’ll come together-” The reality of the content begged to differ, but you had to force that sense away. “So Donnie… well… he went into heat.”

“Like a dog.” She spoke without missing a beat.

“Not… not like a dog…?” You squeaked out, hating that you’d used a double negative.

There wasn’t a trace of anything you could glean from Coral’s features.

“It lasted roughly 8 total days and you can kinda… guess… what… happened…”

“No.”

You rose to look at her, sheepish, until you saw her expression.

“What I know is I couldn’t fucking get ahold of you. Threats that you were dead and you’re sitting here, telling me you were just getting fucked?”

You bobbed with a reflexive tightening in your thigh. “Y-yeah… I didn’t….”

“Didn’t what?!”

“If we move to the second time-”

“I don’t think we’re done with this one!”

“Coral…”

“No, don’t say my fucking name. What the fuck are you even saying right now?! Do you know how worried I was?!”

You could only quiet.

“You couldn’t message?! I was stranded!! My bank locked me out and then I couldn’t get a hold of anyone! You know the only person I could!? Your stupid fucking boyfriend! Why couldn’t you!?”

“That wasn’t really…”

“That wasn’t…!” She stopped short, stooping over the table. “Who’s the third person?”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N… sort of… interfered.”

“Who the fuck is Sheldon?!”

“Donnie’s… son…?”

“His…” She blinked wide and looked around as if there might be cameras even though she’d set this whole thing up. “He has a son now! Wow!”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N. isn’t… exactly what you… might be picturing…”

“What the fuck does that mean?! What does any of this mean, Y/N!?”

People around were starting to stare.

You didn’t care.

She certainly didn’t.

She never did.

“Coral, Donnie is…”

“I knew he was fucking weird, but it seemed like he genuinely loved you, but right now I’m second guessing relying on that! Who the fuck can live off love!? That’s literally a thing! You can’t!!!”

“Donatello is a villain.”

Coral came to a statuesque halt with both hands raised at different heights like a scale.

You gave your mug a cursory push knowing full well you’d never get to enjoy the rest of your drink.

Coming down for her was similar to breaking free of Medusa’s magic. Cracks of hardened rock flaked off as her arms wobbled down. Catching fingers on the table to prevent a complete fall, she hung her head just enough so she could still watch you.

There you saw the flurry of math flying around her head before the equation came out, solved for x. “He’s the Lilac Lunatic.”

You gave a faint nod.

Stupid monikers.

There was no end to them.

“Ha…” She managed a single laugh before falling back into her seat so hard it came off two of its legs. “He’s a… He’s a…” She wasn’t stammering.

Your head started to bob in time.

“What isn’t he!? Fuck, Y/N! Do you know-?” Distress filtered through a broken sieve and soaked her. “You know exactly how bad it is.”

You continued to nod, now rocking.

“You’re still together.”

You were almost seasick.

“You said… ‘is’ as in he still is?”

Capsize was imminent.

Something changed.

You felt it in the air and it was enough to stop you from shaking.

Across from you, Coral seemed pained. She gave a bitter sigh before offering her hand on the table the same way you had. She couldn’t bring herself to watch, but you deposited your appendage the same way she did.

She continued the mimic with two squeezes.

One reassuring, one viscous.

You told her everything.

The tale was condensed and instead filled in the spaces that had been seen or misconstrued for her. Coral interrupted several times with bitter remarks, but was able to shove herself back into line without much complaint from you. You didn’t try to convince her; she was always going to make her own conclusions. You simply told the truth. No matter what the outcome was here, you were at least sure of one thing: you weren’t leaving Donnie.

It didn’t make you worry any less as she started to grow more silent as the tale went on. You hoped it was simply shellshock, but with Coral anything was possible. Catching up with the present and having just shared your worries about when Leo might show up again, your ex-roommate gave a faraway nod. She then scrubbed a hand down her face and looked out across the street. It was where Kaleb was, but she hadn’t thrown any obvious cues that she'd alerted him of anything. She instead seemed to be processing and swept to you after such a long time that you’d almost forgotten you were waiting. “You weren’t abused at least.”   

You had to laugh. The air had been so thick; the absurdity caused you to giggle as if inhaling gas. “Nope.”

“What the fuck!” She drew out the plosive and tossed her head back to look at the sky. “You’ve been dealing with all that, alone?”

“Kin…da…? It wasn’t always lonely. There were times though.”

“Yeesh!” She hollered and then came down. “I’m… gonna have to think about all this.”

You gave a sharp nod.

“You love him though, like a lot?”

“Absolutely.”

“How much?”

“The ‘spend the rest of my life with’ kind.”

Coral blew out a breath and came back with a lopsided grin. “He treats you good?”

“Oh yeah, he’s terrified of losing me.”

“ Keep it that way.” She tapped her mug twice. “Ugh, I need ice cream. You’re buying now that I know you aren’t hurt.”

“Hey!”

“What?!” She stood and loomed over you. “Want to talk back!? After all the lies!?”

You shrank down and shot your gaze away. “No…”

“That’s what I thought.”

“About the others…”

“We’ll tell ‘em one day, not soon.”

“You… sure?” You took a step out following where she’d freed herself from the table. “Wouldn’t that prolong the lie? I was ready for this to be a whole day reveal.”

“I personally can’t handle that much honesty, so let’s stick with just us. They’ll survive.” She did a half moon sweep. “If we aren’t 100% sure about each of them, Donnie might end up with like 12 life sentences if what the tabloids said he’s done are true.” Head barely towards you, she peeked out the corner of her eye to see.

You gave a zippy nod that you hoped conveyed you weren’t alright with his transgressions.

“Geez, that dick must be something.”

“That’s not why!” You huffed. “I regret telling you about the sex more than lying!!”

She barked with laughter.

Clicking your tongue, you headed towards Kaleb with her trailing behind.

“I-I-” She choked, wiping her eyes. “I wanna meet your kid though.”

“S.H.E.L.L.D.O.N.?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna make him pay.” She cracked her knuckles.

Reaching your chill friend, you steeled yourself for reintroduction. “Good luck with that. Knowing him, he’ll want to meet you, no fear.”

“Plankton didn’t mess with him, did he?” Coral oozed menace even though she’d just threatened the party she was now defending.

“How are you guys talking about Spongebob?” Kaleb huffed, folding his paper under his arm like an old man.

“Because I’m safe and sound.” You chirped, coming to a stop with a rock of your body.

“Yes! Hug time!” Kaleb swooped in and picked you off of your feet before you could say anything.

Balanced against his belly, he spun you around before setting you down.

“I told you!” He released and pointed an accusatory finger at Coral. “My Colonel would never!!”

She backhanded his digit away. “Better safe than sorry.” She shot you a smarmy look.

“I’ll buy you ice cream!” You croaked.

“It went like that, huh?” Kaleb bobbed knowingly.

“Like what!?” Nels’ nervous voice picked up.

Others were filtering in, like your phone-obsessed friend, Eugene, who was aptly scrolling as he joined the foray.

Coral stalked around Eugene like a predator and leaped at Nelson who screamed in outright terror.

It broke the tension of the group and gave everyone the cue that things were good. It saved multiple conversations dragging the same point and everyone headed towards the farmer’s market. Having been at least an hour over from your appointed time, the stalls were gaining various lines. Splintering off near immediately as people didn’t want to lose their spots, you joked at how the supposed meet-up was going well. You were scoffed at in a show of love that filled your chest with a warmth you imagined would last for days.

Stuck with Coral and her choosy nature, she kept dismissing stalls on a search for ice cream. Mourning your lost drink, you were peckish and losing patience with whatever she was looking for. She kept saying she’d know it when she saw it and you didn’t know that meant until she threw an arm out like a safety bar and it smacked you in the chest. “Hey!”

“This one! I want a Bomb Pop!” She pointed with glee.

“We could get that at any convenience store, why the hell would you want that from… here…?” Slowing, you took in the odd stall. Covered by a bright red tent, little aisles were set up to make it look like a bodega, except it was outside. “Why…?”

“It’s funny.” Coral chuckled. “You get the popsicle and whatever else you want and I’ll get you a drink from there.”

Following her thrown thumb, you saw a fancy drink place touting local ingredients straight across from the convenience store stall. “Okay, whatever…” You shook your head and the two of you parted.

Winding around cereal and Chef Boyardee, you tried to figure out who this particular stall was catering to. The nearest bodega was certainly only a couple blocks away at most so setting up something like this for whatever price the spot cost seemed ludicrous. Winding around one alley, you spied the shopkeep who could not care less about your existence. You ignored him all the same as you followed a line to where an ice cream cart was sitting in the back part of the stall. Further confused by its existence as you were sure you had seen it near Central Park, you rolled your eyes as you cracked it open.

Pleasantly cool air rushed out and fought against the summer heat. Sticky, but not miserable, you had once planned to fend this exact weather off by arriving at an early hour. Now you were in for discomfort and could only hope Coral got you something iced. Knowing she might very well not for kicks, you debated getting her the wrong iced treat. Also aware that you wouldn’t hear the end of it, you grabbed her popsicle along with a couple other options for your friends. Coming up from the ice box with chilled fingers, you heard several products fall and then a shout that made you fumble your pile.

“What did I tell you!?”

“S-sorry!”

Turning curiously, you watched as a red and green figure rose, towering above the aisles.

“And don’t you go tell your friends I was mutant-phobic! Word travels fast! Just like how I’ve heard how that tail of yours has been wreaking havoc all day!” 

“Yessir. Sorry, sir.” Stepping out even though he was already clearly visible, you saw a bundle of spikes.

Going limp, all your ice cream hit the floor.

“No! What is going on? You pick those up!!” You could hear a slam as the shopkeeper smacked his counter.

“Raph.” You whispered to the air.

Said turtle had his tail bunched up in his arms. Errant spikes from it caught his hoodie where it seemed his daggered arms had completely shredded the sleeves. Crouched down in baggy basketball shorts with compression leggings underneath, he looked more ready for the gym than trying to gather all too small cans of cat food. “Uh… Hey, Y/N…”

“Wha…?” Your arms wouldn’t obey.

None of your body would.

You had never been this close to him. 

He was unreasonably large.

He had to dwarf Donnie by at least a foot.

It wasn’t fair.

“Pick those up or I’ll report you!!!” The shopkeep roared.

Animated by nothing, you dropped to a squat and started to grab the ice cream. Raph appeared, done with his task and attempted to grab the furthest treat. It caused you to halt with curled fingers in fear of touching him. He didn’t seem perturbed and instead offered, “Sorry for scaring ya.”

“What are you doing here?” You hoisted your armful up and away from him.

“Ya know!” He quacked a little too loud. “Looking for ar-tisanal goods! I’m so into that and it’s totally not just Mikey’s thing!”

You stared at him flatly and turned to march straight toward the register.

You could hear Raph’s heavy steps chase you.

Shooting you both dirty looks, the man rang you up while muttering loudly about people messing up his shop. Only thinking how dumb that was since he had set up amongst the elements, you saw him package up all he had before he turned an annoyed look beside you. “Buddy, I don’t have all day!”

“Yeah, got it.” Raph responded and, from this proximity, you could hear the wane in his apologetic attitude.

The big guy had a limit.

Passing over the ice cream he’d gathered, the shopkeeper then turned a screen toward you so you could see the total. You went to get your wallet when you saw green extend beside you. Looking out of the corner of your eye, sweat cropped as you measured that Raph’s fist was larger than the whole of your head. 

With a snatch, the shopkeeper stole a bill from green fingers.   

“For startling you.” Raph said simply, watching the man with more patience leaking out from him by the second.

“No receipt.” The shopkeeper snapped before pinching the edges of a sack. You held a hand out to take it, but he dropped it early so it would plop on the counter.

Slighted by all means, you grabbed it and stomped out of the stall.

Heavy steps continued to follow you.

“What’s the plan here?!” You spun around and watched as a turtle nearly twice your size jolted like you’d scared him. “You gonna join up with my friends?! Hang out!?”

“No.” He got out with closed eyes before looking down at you with a battered expression. “That wasn’t the plan.”

You needed to keep your eyes on him, but at the same time you desperately had to look for Coral.

She had to see you.

It’s not like you weren’t standing next to a Statue of Liberty look alike.

Trying to strain out your periphery, you didn’t see her messy locks at the drink stand.

“Why can’t you just leave us alone!?”

Raph looked struck by your words and then softened apologetically for the second time.

“What did you do with my friend!?”

“Y/N, listen…” Raph’s hands came up.

“No!!” You took a step back, readying to swing your ice cream as the only weapon you had. “I’m tired of this! I’m tired of living in fear! You’re fucking stalking me and I didn’t do a damn thing!! Leave me alone!!!!”

Raph’s eye darted. “Y/N, you need to be quiet… I was hoping we could chat…”

“Fuck you!” You swung your bag and Raph took a step back to dodge it. “I’m not going anywhere with you!!!”

“You need to be quiet. People are taking notice.” Raph’s head was in motion.

“Uh duh! I want them to notice! I’m calling stranger danger!” Chancing it, you spun around and saw nothing but a blur of faces. Their whispers reached you, but not a single one was familiar.

There were six of you.

Where had your friends gone?

“I’m not saying this for me.” Raph spoke, stern, and took a step forward.

You screamed and swung your bag again, but it disappeared into a disc of glowing blue light.

Your stomach dropped.

“Told you.” Leo huffed to your right.

Color fading with your blood pressure, you turned to nothing. Carried by intuition, your gaze rose to find the blue turtle sitting on the point of the stall cover as if it were any old bench. Contrasting his brother, his crisp blue jeans popped against the red and a simple white tee was covered in a brown bomber jacket. Tipping his head down to see you over his aviators, his blue ball cap shaded him from the sun. 

“I had it. You just can’t wait one second, can you?” Raph turned his scorn toward his brother.

“Was it going to be before or after the police were called?” Leo folded his hands on top of the sword hilt held in front of him.

“Before! Clearly!” Raph’s arms mirrored the movie without a weapon. 

“Whatever, April got the jammer going anyway.” Leo rolled his eyes to stand. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah.” Your voice was too damn small. “Go.”

Leo lit up and then leaped into the air. Losing him to the harsh sunlight, you winced until there was a loud slap of him landing on the concrete between you and his brother. You stumbled backward as he came up with his swords dangling by his sides. “I think you misunderstand.”

Staring at the near manic expression on Leo’s face, you turned to Raph with one of incomprehension. “You can’t mean…! Not with me? You can’t seriously think I’ll go with you?!”

Leo twisted a sword and thrust his hand through a newly formed portal. Before you could register what was happening, he snatched up your bag and brought it to him. 

“This is what I was trying to tell ya.” Raph caught Leo’s shoulder and yanked him with crinkling plastic. “You have a choice!”

“In what?” You squawked.

“Were you gonna eat all this yourself?” Leo peaked in the bag and let his brother shove him further out of the way.

“We can talk, you and me, or we do it Leo’s way.” Raph explained.

“Oh sweet, Rocket Pop! Dibs!”

“That’s not-!” You hissed.

“Yours!” Raph scolded, snatching the bag away and pinching Leo’s arm from where he was trying to rummage through it.

“Sheesh!” Leo rubbed the spot and sauntered away like it was his idea.

“Here.” Raph held out the bag.

“Why?” You didn’t move. 

“It’s… yours…?” Raph wondered with a creased brow.

“No, why do I have to talk to either of you? Why is it a decision? I don’t owe you anything.”

Raph’s canine appeared as he sucked in sharply. Digging into his lower lip, he opened and closed his mouth twice before continuing. “We’re concerned.”

“You are or he is?” You spat with a flick of your gaze to Leo.

The blue turtle was perusing cereals and only bobbed his shoulders at the mention of his name.

“We…” Raph winced as if knowing what he was saying was wrong. “…decided as a group that based on the nature of your relationship…” He glanced at Leo and then back. “…which we’d find out… organically, that we’d have a few outcomes…”

“Do you hear yourself?”

“Oh, yeah!” Raph brightened. “Mind Raph is way too loud to ignore.”

You could only stare back and feel the way your lips were parted in disgruntled confusion.

“He’s no’rong.” Leo mumbled through a mouthful of cereal.

“Hey!!!” The shopkeeper shouted.

You sent a plea to the man which fell on deaf ears.

“Yeah, buddy, relax!” Leo swallowed harshly. “I was gonna pay! Ever heard of a hero’s discount? This city, I swear!” Stomping away, Leo entered the stall.

Raph rushed to close the space.

Your hands flew to your person where you drowned in a new sense of dread.

Coral still had your phone and tech gauntlet.

You weren’t sure it would have mattered based on the whole jammer thing Leo had mentioned. 

Leo also lied.

Often and always.

Hands sliding down your hips in defeat, you were confronted by the girth and height of Raph’s form. “Ah!”

“No, no!” Raph held out the ice cream. “I can explain. I want to explain. I know how scary this all is. Please.”

You stared at the handles only imagining how Raph could enclose his fist around the expanse of your arm and meet the elbow.

“You do not want to do this Leo’s way.” Raph dropped his voice and shook the bag in time.

It was a move that struck you as a means to further cover his comment from sharp tympanum.

“What is his way?” You whispered back, knowing you didn’t have the same ability.

“He wants to-”

“Whatcha all talking about?” Leo appeared and you both jumped. “Tough crowd.”

“Why are you so damn determined to ruin the credibility of our team!?” Raph shouted suddenly. “We’ve been a cohesive unit for years and you’re throwing it away on obsession!”

The sincerity of Raph’s statement struck you, but you had no time to mull its significance as Leo grew dark enough to summon rain clouds. The weight of his blackened aura became so thick you thought you might suffocate on it. He then turned the brunt of that storm on his much taller brother, who seemed to dwarf under the weight of it. “Obsession?” Leo took a step forward where he was already too close. “Obsession. Me? You make it sound like I’m the only one who’s been here for the last two plus decades. For the death and the mayhem and the life threatening injuries and the fear of collapse and separation and rot! How we all rotted away!! How he poisoned each of us physically and mentally and how almost none of us fucking survived!!!!”

Leo jabbed a finger into Raph’s plastron and the red turtle wilted till he was nearly on his knees.

“That’s what I thought.” Leo kept his hand in place, but whipped his head around to you. “And now, he’s making a new move and everyone around me is acting like I’m the insane one when I know for a fact that this is a game. If we want to be players on the board. We need to grab the pieces.”

“T-there are people…!” Your voice shook and you listened.

Those whispers were still there.

People were still watching.

“You're just going to… what? Take me? In this crowd?”

“No.” Leo tipped his head and retracted his finger. He then shoved the box of cereal he’d bought into Raph’s chest for the red turtle to catch as he let go.

“There’s still a choice!” Raph snapped.

Leo took a commanding step towards you.

You tried to flee.

Your feet were cemented.

Looking down at them found that not to be true.

Nothing was keeping you.

By the time your gaze came back up, the blue turtle was upon you. “Did you want to talk to Raph?”

“You’d need to leave.” You tried to sound forceful, but there was something unhinged looming in him.

“Do you-” Bending at the waist, Leo’s head came beside yours. “-choose Raph?”

“Yes.” You wanted to kick him again, but something told you he wouldn’t fall for the same stunt twice.

“Yo’ve got ten minutes.” Leo straightened and strolled away.

Ten minutes to stall until your friends finally took notice.

Raph stared after Leo with a furrowed brow and then glowered down at the cereal he now also had to hold. “Y/N.”

“Just stop.” You held up a hand that said the same. “Why is he in charge? I don’t know, but you seem… way more reasonable.”

Raph juggled his items to free up a hand which he used to scratch the back of his head. “He wasn’t… always. Dad decided when we were young.”

Dad?

“All I can say is he’s making us look way worse than we are. I’m not saying we’re great, but we usually do earn the hero moniker. This…” Raph brought the arm back around and used it to gesture a spiral into the air. “…is some kinda trauma.”

“I get that.” You wrapped your arms around yourself.

“Would you want to sit down…?”

“I want to move and stand in the very center of the market with as many people around as possible.”

Raph’s teeth flashed in a way that said this was the best he could do.

“We stay right here.”

He nodded.

“What did you do to my friends?”

“They were… lured away by free prizes.” Raph sighed.

“How…?” You shook your head. “You know what? I don’t want to know! Let’s wait out the clock and then I’m going to go.”

Again, his teeth made an appearance in the same way.

The snaggletooth might have been endearing under any other circumstance.

“What?” You snipped.

“We just need to figure out what’s going on.”

“Nothing!” You threw your arms out at where Leo had left. “You said it yourself! He’s obsessed! I told him there’s nothing! What did he tell you!?”

“That you and… Donatello were… dating.”

“Exactly! So, now you know!” You brought your hand in and then flicked a wrist at him. “Again!”

“That’s just kinda…”

“Unlikely! Yeah.” Venom dripped from your words. “I’ve heard that from just about every single person who knows Donnie, but you know what?”

Raph startled a little, but there was genuine curiosity in his gaze.

“They’re all wrong. He’s not that person anymore. I don’t know how long it’s been, but I don’t think he has since before me.”

Raph’s mouth opened with protest.

“I get it!” There was so much gusto in your shout that your feet planted. “He was bad, but you know what he does now!? He’s sweet! He remembers all my favorite foods, even the ones I’m pretty sure I never told him about! He’s caring! He bends over backwards to dote on me! He tries so damn hard! He messes up! He’s not perfect, but he tries! He’s a good partner and I want to leave here and go back home to him!”

Raph’s shoulders loosened.

“And I’m tired! I’m tired of having to justify our fucking relationship to you! Do you know what I just did!? I just told my ex-roommate everything! She’s a hundred times more unstable than you and somehow she took the news better! I just don’t get it!!!”

Plastic crinkling, Raph looked away.

“Is that good enough or do you need me to draw you up a fucking written version?”

“I want to let this go.” Raph spoke.

Though you’d paused on what was a clear rhetorical question, you weren’t prepared for him to answer.

“Trust me.”  He shot you a heavy glance that said that and more. “More than anything, I want to put him behind us.”

His phrasing had you leaning back.

“It can be hard to understand. Unlike Leo, I don’t think you were fed a line, but there’s no way he told the story the same way.” In a shift, Raph looked at the snacks in his hand. “Sorry, gonna put this on the ground for a sec.”

You nodded, unsure of what was happening or why’d you stopped.

He set the snacks down with great care and then reached behind his head. There, he undid his mask and pulled it off. Though you had clearly seen the scarring pouring out from under it, there was something different about seeing his whole face.

Marred and twisted, his skin was warped by burns that had aged many years. They ate away at his cheekbone with green flesh singed with brownish rot. His right eye was puffed up around a milky pupil which spoke to the blindness there. “Do you mind if I tell you how I got this?”

“He… dumped acid on you…” You sounded like you were on the other side of the market.

Raph bobbed with attention. “Did he tell you why?”

“You…” Your gaze plummeted. “You tried to paralyze him.”

Raph let out a single loud chuff. “The scars on his legs?”

You nodded, assaulted by an odd shame.

“That happened a totally different time, Y/N. I made those scars trying to get him off Leo. I wasn’t trying to do anything other than stop him from killing my brother.”

You brought your gaze up to match his.

“Some kids were selling in Bushwick which was odd. I tracked ‘em back to their supplier and found a ring. The usual shootout started up, but you’ve seen my sai.”

You couldn’t respond.

“I was making my move when suddenly they all just… dropped.” Raph looked down, his good eye narrowing. “Like puppets without strings. I checked the closest guy and he was just… dead. Then came the burning”

You dug your nails into your arm.

“It’s pain like…” Raph shook his head and tied his mask back in place. “He used to have this laugh. Broken, loud… Cartoons don’t do it justice.”

“How…?”

Raph picked up the bag and cereal. “Hm?”

“How… old…” You forced yourself to look not knowing when you’d turned away. “…were the kids?”

“Fifteen. He had failsafes implanted in them. The kids, the dealers, the cooks, he killed them all to protect his assets or himself? Hard to say. I never really understood.”

The same age they were when they met. 

When they started fighting. 

“What happened… after?”

Raph walked over to you. “He left. It wasn’t about me or them. My best guess is my timing was terrible and he happened to be there picking up his money. I never saw him…” His head tipped. “Saw half as much after that, mostly a blur of gauze and skin grafts.”

Did you apologize?

“Hey.”

You looked up at him.

“I’m not telling ya ta feel bad. I know it sounds like it, but the story is kinda like that. I’m trying to give you perspective.” Raph knelt down onto one knee in front of you. “That was one time. Now multiply that by 20 years.”

You nodded, slowly.

“Leo’s scared. He’s more scared of Donatello then Krang Prime which if you’ve seen the guy is… something else.”

“Otherworldly.” You hated that you’d even said it.

“Yeah…” Raph held no resentment. “He’s stressed too. Me and Mike aren’t reacting how he wants. I’m never going to forgive Donatello, but I’m tired of it. I’m tired of the fighting and torment. If we can stay out of each other��s ways, I’m gonna take that in a heartbeat, but I don’t think Leo thinks he can stop worrying until Donatello is…”

“Gone.” The word sounded like a ghost.

Raph gave a nod, not wanting to give the poltergeist any more voice. “He blames himself for all of it. He’s like that; self sacrificing. His worst character trait is he doesn’t think he’s worth a thing without his family. That we define and give him worth. I don’t think he’s lived his own life because of it.”

“He…” You cleared your throat. “He’d hate that you were telling me this.”

Raph almost smiled and pointed to his bad eye. “20/320 and I can see him glaring at me right now.”

You gave a single humorless exhale.

“So… yeah.” Raph stood and held the bag out to you.

You took it. “What happens now?”

“You go back to your friends and I talk to Leo about what I know.”

“But I didn’t…” You glanced over the clearly melting ice cream and up at him.

Raph smiled with a lopsided grin. “Oh you did, yelled at me good.”

“There’s no way that was convincing.”

Raph shrugged his shoulders, but kept his smile. “I’m a good judge of character.”

“How does that convince Leo though?”

“What do you mean?”

“He already knows the deal. He’s not worried about me; he’s worried about Donnie.”

Raph opened his mouth to say something else, but Leo’s voice cut through the crowd. “Time’s up!”

You turned to him with heavy lids, bored of his shenanigans.

“Hey.” Raph greeted his brother, ignoring the dark aura Leo took with him. “Let’s get one of those juices you like and I’ll catch you up.” He shot you a quick wink. “I got intel you’ll want to hear.”

“I heard.” Leo was curt.

Raph’s hackles went up along with your own. “Leo…” He warned.

“We didn’t want to cause a scene.” Leo took a long way around you to end up near his brother. “No more screaming. No one’s watching. You did a great job throwing off the heat, big guy.”

Raph’s eye widened before he snapped his gaze toward you.

Struck by the fear there, it took you a moment too long to realize he wasn’t actually looking at you.

He was looking behind you.

“Sleep.” Mikey’s unmistakable voice whispered like it was coming from all angles. A thousand touches from Donnie helped you identify what were mutant turtle fingers brushing at the back of your neck. Anesthesia then ran through a drip without a needle into your veins. Drunken, everything began to warp. You could hear Leo counting backwards from ten as Raph yelled beside him. You fell with a blur of blue and a burn from the sun before night swallowed you whole.

NEXT

I'd be toiling away in misery if it weren't for my betas @tmntxthings and @thepinkpanther83

[zvaigzdelasas]

The junta have explicitly justified their coup as a response to the “continuous deterioration of the security situation” plaguing Niger and complained that it and other countries in the Sahel “have been dealing for over 10 years with the negative socioeconomic, security, political and humanitarian consequences of NATO’s hazardous adventure in Libya.” Even ordinary Nigeriens backing the junta have done the same.[...]

Only years [after enacting regime change] would a UK House of Commons Foreign Affairs Committee report publicly determine, echoing the conclusions of other post-mortems, that charges of an impending civilian massacre were “not supported by the available evidence” and that “the threat to civilians was overstated and that the rebels included a significant Islamist element” that carried out numerous atrocities of its own.

Sens. John McCain (R-Ariz.), Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.), and John Kerry (D-Mass.) all called for a no-fly zone. “I love the military ... but they always seem to find reasons why you can’t do something rather than why you can,” complained McCain. The American Enterprise Institute’s Danielle Pletka said it would be “an important humanitarian step.” The now-defunct Foreign Policy Initiative (FPI) think tank gathered a who’s who of neoconservatives to repeatedly urge the same. In a letter to then-President Barack Obama, they quoted back Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize speech in which he argued that “inaction tears at our conscience and can lead to more costly intervention later.”

Then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, reportedly instrumental in persuading Obama to act, was herself swayed by similar arguments. Friend and unofficial adviser Sidney Blumenthal assured her that, once Gaddafi fell, “limited but targeted military support from the West combined with an identifiable rebellion” could become a new model for toppling Middle Eastern dictators. Pointing to the similar, deteriorating situation in Syria, Blumenthal claimed that “the most important event that could alter the Syrian equation would be the fall of Gaddafi, providing an example of a successful rebellion.”[...]

Despite grave and often-stated reservations, Obama and NATO got UN authorization for a no-fly zone. Clinton was privately showered with email congratulations, not just from Blumenthal and Slaughter (“bravo!”; “No-fly! Brava! You did it!”), but even from then-Bloomberg View Executive Editor James Rubin (“your efforts ... will be long remembered”). Pro-war voices like Pletka and Iraq War architect Paul Wolfowitz immediately began moving the goalposts by discussing Gaddafi’s ouster, suggesting escalation to prevent a U.S. “defeat,” and criticizing those saying Libya wasn’t a vital U.S. interest. NATO’s undefined war aims quickly shifted, and officials spoke out of both sides of their mouths. Some insisted the goal wasn’t regime change, while others said Gaddafi “needs to go.” It took less than three weeks for FPI Executive Director Jamie Fly, the organizer of the neocons’ letter to Obama, to go from insisting it would be a “limited intervention” that wouldn’t involve regime change, to professing “I don’t see how we can get ourselves out of this without Gaddafi going.”

After only a month, Obama and NATO allies publicly pronounced they would stay the course until Gaddafi was gone, rejecting the negotiated exit put forward by the African Union. “There is no mission creep,” NATO Secretary General Anders Fogh Rasmussen insisted two months later. Four months after that, Gaddafi was dead — captured, tortured and killed thanks in large part to a NATO airstrike on the convoy he was traveling in.

The episode was considered a triumph. “We came, we saw, he died,” Clinton joked to a reporter upon hearing the news. Analysts talked about the credit owed to Obama for the “success.” [...] [In October 2011], Clinton traveled to Tripoli and declared “Libya’s victory” as she flashed a peace sign.

“It was the right thing to do,” Obama told the UN, presenting the operation as a model that the United States was “proud to play a decisive role” in. Soon discussion moved to exporting this model elsewhere, like Syria. Hailing the UN for having “at last lived up to its duty to prevent mass atrocities,” then-Human Rights Watch Executive Director Kenneth Roth called to “extend the human rights principles embraced for Libya to other people in need,” citing other parts of the Middle East, the Ivory Coast, Myanmar and Sri Lanka.[...]

Gaddafi’s toppling not only led hundreds of Tuareg mercenaries under his employ to return to nearby Mali but also caused an exodus of weapons from the country, leading Tuareg separatists to team up with jihadist groups and launch an armed rebellion in the country. Soon, that violence triggered its own coup and a separate French military intervention in Mali, which quickly became a sprawling Sahel-wide mission that only ended nine years later with the situation, by some accounts, worse than it started. According to the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, the majority of the more than 400,000 refugees in the Central Sahel were there because of the violence in Mali.

Mali was far from alone. Thanks to its plentiful and unsecured weapons depots, Libya became what UK intelligence labeled the “Tesco” of illegal arms trafficking, referring to the British supermarket chain. Gaddafi’s ouster “opened the floodgates for widespread extremist mayhem” across the Sahel region, retired Senior Foreign Service officer Mark Wentling wrote in 2020, with Libyan arms traced to criminals and terrorists in Niger, Tunisia, Syria, Algeria and Gaza, including not just firearms but also heavy weaponry like antiaircraft guns and surface-to-air missiles. By last year, extremism and violence was rife throughout the region, thousands of civilians had been killed and 2.5 million people had been displaced.

Things are scarcely better in “liberated” Libya today. The resulting power vacuum produced exactly what Iraq War critics predicted: a protracted (and forever close-to-reigniting) civil war involving rival governments, neighboring states using them as proxies, hundreds of militias and violent jihadists. Those included the Islamic State, one of several extremist groups that made real Clinton’s pre-intervention fear of Libya “becoming a giant Somalia.” By the 2020 ceasefire, hundreds of civilians had been killed in Libya, nearly 900,000 needed humanitarian assistance, half of them women and children, and the country had become a lucrative hotspot for slave trading. Today, Libyans are unambiguously worse off than before NATO intervention. Ranked 53rd in the world and first in Africa by the 2010 UN Human Development Index, the country had dropped fifty places by 2019. Everything from GDP per capita and the number of fully functioning health care facilities to access to clean water and electricity sharply declined. Far from improving U.S. standing in the Middle East, most of the Arab world opposed the NATO operation by early 2012.

8 Sep 23

[sequinsmile-x]

I'll Work for Your Love

Emily and Aaron take some time to reconnect and spend some time just two of them when life gets a little busy.

-x-

Hi friends!

This is a birthday present for my dear friend @jetaime-jespere! I love you so much, and meeting you through this fandom will always be one of the best things thats ever happened to me. You're one of my best friends and you deserve the world.

I know this next year will be your best one yet <;3

-x-

Words: 3.8k

Warnings: Smut, 18+

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Emily groans as she sits down on the couch, her exhaustion feeling almost bone deep. Aaron chuckles from his place next to her, and he hands her the glass of wine he’d had waiting for her. 

“Did Mason go down ok?” 

She nods as she takes a sip of her wine, moaning at the taste of it against her tongue, a treat that she desperately needed after a long week at work. 

“Yes,” she says, smiling as she thinks of their three-year-old son and how he’d insisted that she was the one who put him to bed just like he did most nights, “Although, he did scam two stories out of me.” 

Aaron smiles and puts his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer, “He’s got you wrapped around his little finger.”

She scoffs and looks at him with her eyebrow raised, “Says the guy who let our eight-year-old paint his nails last week.” 

He makes a show of being mock offended, well aware from his wife’s demeanour and the way she was holding herself, the tension clear in her shoulders, that she needed cheering up. 

“I’ll have you know that Isabella said that ‘Cotton Candy Pink’ is my colour,” he replies, watching her intently as she smiles, her heart clearly not in it, before she takes another sip of wine, “Are you ok, sweetheart?” 

She blows out a steady breath, cursing him for knowing her so well, for picking up on the mood she’d clearly not covered as well as she’d hoped. 

“I’m fine,” she says, smiling tightly at him, “Just tired I think, it’s been a long week.” 

It had been a long few months if she was honest. Work had been busy and she felt like she had no energy to do anything beyond her job and doing her best to be a good mom.  After she had Mason, she left the BAU. It ended up being good timing more than anything, the Unit Cheif position for the Counterterrorism team became available as she was due back from her maternity leave and her experience with Interpol made her the prime candidate. It was largely office based in comparison to the BAU and it gave her more flexibility, more time with her children, and ultimately led to where she was now - a Section Chief in the FBI. At first, she’d worried that being promoted over Aaron, that becoming his boss, would make things tense, but he’d been nothing but supportive. A proud husband who never once indicated that he didn’t like working for his wife. 

It worked for them. But between their jobs and raising Jack, Isabella and Mason she felt like she barely got any time with her husband. She missed him, and whilst she loved their life, their family, a part of her missed those early days when they still worked on the same team and they spent all their time together. When their relationship was still a secret and they’d sneak into each other's hotel rooms when they were away on cases, nights spent just the two of them as they’d discuss everything from the case to Jack to anything that one of them had on their mind. 

She missed her husband, even though he was right next to her. 

“Sweetheart-” he starts, knowing that this was one of those times when he had to push her, when she’d simply curl back in on herself without his intervention. A defence mechanism she’d never quite been able to fully let go of no matter how long they’d been together. 

“I just…miss you, I guess,” she says, cutting him off because she knows he won’t stop. She shakes her head at herself, the admission sounding as ridiculous as it feels. She looks up at him when he places his hand on her thigh, his palm warm even though the material of her pants, and he frowns in confusion at her. 

“I’m right here, Em.” 

She sighs and places the glass of wine down on the side table next to her before she puts her hand over his on her leg, their fingers automatically linking together. 

“I know,” she says, her smile shaking a little, “I know that but, when was the last time we had any time just the two of us?” She asks, the question followed by a laugh, “Or went on vacation to somewhere that wasn’t DisneyWorld?” She shrugs nonchalantly, her eyes drifting down to their joint hands “I don’t know. Jack starts high school next year and that will come with a whole new load of activities and soccer games, and we’ll have even less time,” she looks back up at him, “I love our family and our life so much, Aaron. More than I can put into words, but...I miss when we had time just for us.” 

Her words hang in the air between them, and she watches as he tries to work out what he can do to make her feel better. He always wanted to fix everything, and it was one of the many reasons she loved him. Whether it was something like this, or Isabella’s bike or Jack’s gaming console, he’d do what he could to mend what was broken. She often liked to say that he’d started with her. He’d helped her put herself back together in the fallout of Paris and Ian Doyle, and he hadn’t stopped since.

“Why don’t we go somewhere, just you and me?” He asks eventually, his hand wrapped tight around hers, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the heel of her hand. 

She smiles at the thought of it, “That would be lovely, honey, but we have the kids and work-” 

“You know Jess wouldn’t mind watching the kids for the weekend. And as for work, my boss really likes me so I know she’ll approve my leave request,” he says, his eyes sparkling as she shakes her head lovingly at him, “Actually, it’s a little inappropriate sometimes. I’ve caught her staring at my ass more than once.” 

She rolls her eyes at him but she can’t fight her laugh, loud and full of love, “You’re an idiot.”

“But I’m your idiot,” he says, reaching for her hand and linking their fingers together. “We should do it, sweetheart. We deserve it.” 

She thinks about it, and dozens of reasons why it wouldn’t be practical flood her mind. The kids had soccer games and piano lessons. Mason struggled to settle if she wasn’t around, his separation anxiety worse than it had ever been. Work was busier than ever and it wasn’t slowing down any time soon. Despite all of that, despite everything she’d have to organise, she finds that for once she doesn’t care. 

She wants this. She wants to spend time just with him. To be Emily and Aaron for a few days instead of Hotch and Prentiss or Mom and Dad. 

“Ok,” she says, nodding, her smile widening to match his, “Let's do it.”

___

She almost changes her mind one month later as they leave for their long weekend away, when Mason has to be taken from her arms by Jessica, the little boy’s grip tight on his mother’s blouse when it became clear he wasn’t going where his parents were. The all too familiar mom guilt burning inside her chest as she can still hear him crying through the solid wood of Jessica’s front door. When she turns to look at Aaron, any thought about getting the kids and going home goes away. 

He’s standing a few feet from her, as casually dressed as he ever was in jeans and a black polo shirt that never failed to make her stomach flip, and she’s reminded of why they were doing this in the first place. 

“We should go if we want to avoid traffic,” he says, reaching for her hand and squeezing it, his soft smile letting her know he knows what she’d been thinking. 

“Yeah, let's go,” she replies, letting him lead her back to the car, “If you’re driving, I’m on DJ duties.” 

Aaron chuckles and pulls her in for a kiss before they separate to get into the car, “As long as you play at least some of the music I like I’m sure I can accept that.”

After bickering over The Beatles and Siouxsie and the Banshees, they settle on Bruce Springsteen, both of them singing along as they hold hands over the car’s centre console. ___

Years ago, when they were booking their honeymoon, they decided that she would always be the one to book hotels. It made sense for a lot of reasons, not limited just to the fact she’d travelled more than he had, but it was mostly so she could book somewhere without Aaron asking how much it cost. There were few things that Emily would actually label herself a snob over, but hotels were one of them. During her time at the BAU, they’d stayed in some questionable places, so during her time off she always wanted to ensure they were somewhere nice. And she had the money, they had the money since Aaron had full access to all of it, even if he rarely used it. She wanted to spoil him, to make sure they could fully relax, and this weekend was no different. 

They’d settled on Virginia Beach for their weekend away. It was close enough to home that they could go if they needed to for an emergency, but far enough away that it actually felt like a break from everything. The hotel was beautiful, and the suite Emily had booked was amazing. It had a huge private balcony and a sea view, and they’d slept with the door to the balcony slightly open so they could fall asleep to the sea breeze. 

The weekend goes far too quickly for Emily’s liking. The time melting away as she spends desperately needed alone time with her husband. Good food, great conversation and incredible sex easing the tightness in her chest that she hadn’t realised had been building for weeks. She can see a difference in him too, a lightness that she hadn’t expected, and she wants to talk to him about doing this more often, about making sure that they prioritise them when they can. 

On their last night before they head home, they go to a nice restaurant down the street from their hotel. Emily decides not to have any sides, claiming she’s just content with the meal she’s ordered, and Aaron orders extra because he knows from experience that she’ll always help herself to his. A smile on her face as she claimed that fries tasted better from his plate. 

They walk slowly back to their hotel hand in hand. She has her other hand wrapped around his arm, wanting him as close as possible for as long as she could, well aware that by this time tomorrow, they’d be back home. Whilst he’d still be there next to her they’d have everything from their beautiful ordinary life to take into consideration too, their time alone limited to when the kids had gone to bed and stolen moments around everything they had to do. 

“We should do this more often,” he says out of nowhere, breaking the silence they’d fallen into. It makes her stop, and she turns to look at him, smiling as he puts his arm around her and pulls her close. 

“I was just thinking the same thing,” she replies, leaning up to press a kiss to his lips, “It would be nice.” 

“I mean it, Em,” he says, not missing the wistful look on her face, how she was acting like it was nothing short of a pipe dream. He tucks some of her hair behind her ear, smiling as he sees a flash of grey hair at her temple, a sure sign that she’d dye it again soon even though he’d told her a long time ago he didn’t care if she let it grow out. He knew she was considering it, that she spoke of going to the salon every six weeks with nothing short of disdain, but that she’d have to come to the decision herself, “We should.”

She chuckles, “Aaron, we both know it’s not that simple.” 

“It could be if we wanted it to be, sweetheart,” he says, his hand on her lower back, “It could be exactly that simple. I’m retiring next year and that will open up more time. If we wanted to we could.” 

She bites her lower lip, trying and failing to contain her smile, and she nods. She knows once they are home and the vacation high wears off, practically will mean that it won’t be that easy. But right now, standing in the fading sunlight with the man she loves, she lets practicality fall away. 

“Ok,” she replies, kissing him before she pulls away and reaches for his hand, re-starting their journey to the hotel, “We’ll do this more often.” 

When they get back to their hotel room she watches him as he double-checks the lock on the door, a side effect of when he’d walked into his apartment a lifetime ago to find Foyet waiting for him. They exchange a small smile when he turns to look at her, and she places her purse on the table near the door. Aaron walks over and kisses her, crowding her against the wall as he presses his hands into her lower back, pulling her impossibly closer as she kisses him with just as much ferocity, her fingers tight in his short hair. 

He pulls back, ending the kiss as quickly as he’d started it, and he grabs her hand, linking their fingers together as he walks her towards the bedroom of their suite. Somewhere in the short walk the tempo changes, his gaze soft and loving as he turns to look at her, although there is no less fire in his eyes. 

They undress each other, clothes slipping to the ground and left in piles on the carpet. She lays back on the bed, watching him intently as he crawls up over her, his gaze as intense as she’d ever known it. 

She shivers as he runs his hand down her side, his fingers catching on her scars and faded stretch marks that she’d escaped when she had Isabella but had not been able to when she had Mason. Her skin was looser than it used to be, her hips wider from two pregnancies, and at first it had made her more insecure, but these days, so many years later, she never even thought about it. 

Aaron was different too. He was softer, a little thicker than he once was, and she loves it. Loves that it makes his hugs even more all-encompassing, that he makes her and their children feel safe with nothing other than his embrace and soft reassurances. 

She lies there as he maps out her familiar hills and valleys, her breath catching in her throat when he presses his lips to the brand mark on her chest before he leaves a trail of kisses down her chest to the blooming scar under her ribs. It was different now than when they’d first got together, the scar itself faded, silver and pale against her skin, but it had warped when she had Isabella and then Mason, the scar tissue stretched out in a way it had never quite recovered from. There were still moments, even now, when she wishes she’d given into her baser desires long before they got together. That he’d known her body before what it had endured at Ian’s hands, but she also knows if she’d slept with him then, if she’d fucked him in his office as she had so often imagined, it would likely have never turned into anything more than sex. And she wouldn’t have the life she now had, something that seemed impossible to even think about. 

Aaron groans as he presses a kiss just above her pubic bone, the sound muffled by her skin as his fingers drift between her thighs, moving through her slickness as she moans again.

“Always so ready for me, sweetheart,” he says, shifting so he’s laying between her legs, his hands on her inner thighs as he pushes them apart. He presses his lips to a bruise he’d left on her skin on their first night here, and he smiles when she jumps, her thighs tensing around his head in anticipation, and he does it again, “So needy.” 

“I swear to God, Aaron if you ever want me to-”

Her threat is cut off as he licks through her, the words dying in her throat as she whines instead, her hands in tight fists in the soft sheets they were laying on so she can hold onto something. She looks down at him, and her arousal only deepens when their eyes meet, his gaze intense as he watches what he’s doing to her without stopping. It was like he had an instruction book for her body and it always had been. The first time they’d done this explosive in a way she’d always known it would be. She thought she would miss those days, when they were desperate for each other, fucking at every and any opportunity, but she doesn’t. She much prefers this, the gentle intimacy of it, of being with the person she had been with for a decade now, with the man she loves. 

He builds her up slowly, using his tongue and fingers to bring her to the edge, every touch purposeful. 

“Fuck,” she says, the word catching in her chest, her breath stuttering around it, “I’m going to-”

“Come for me, sweetheart,” he says, his voice thick with his own arousal, the way he was always blown away by the fact he could do this to her. She does as she’s told and she lets go, her elbows giving out from under here where she’d been leaning on them, her head falling back to the pillow beneath her. 

“Holy shit,” she breathes out as her vision clears, every nerve ending tingling as Aaron climbs back up her, stamping kisses on her skin as he goes, making her laugh as he nips at her rib cage. She catches his head in her hands and pulls him upwards, “Come here.” 

He smiles as she kisses him, groaning as she tastes herself on his tongue, her legs falling even wider apart around him, letting him settle in the cradle of her hips. He pulls back and places one of his hands next to her head, picking up one of hers on the way and linking their fingers together, as the other grasps one of her thighs, hiking her leg over his hip. He notches over her, sliding back and forth for a moment in a way that makes them both shiver, her breath catching in her throat as he moves over her clit. She pulls him in for a kiss as he pushes forward, moaning into it at the familiar stretch of him as he enters her slowly, making her feel every inch of him. 

It’s gentle. Slow and loving as they kiss, their hands exploring well-known skin as Aaron sets the rhythm they’d long since established. He hikes her leg up high around his hip, and it makes her gasp, breaking the kiss as she clenches around him, his groan lost against her collarbone as he presses his face into her skin. He never could get used to it, the way she felt around him was still as incredible as it had always been. There were moments even now when he couldn’t believe that she was his, that she was the mother of his children. That out of everyone she could have fallen in love with, she’d fallen for him. 

He feels himself starting to lose control, so he builds her up again, the hand that had been in hers shifting to be in between them, his thumb gentle against her clit as he gives her the push he knows she needs to go over the edge. He follows quickly after, his hips stuttering against hers as he comes, his moan of her name lost as he bites down on her chest, well aware he was leaving a mark she’d wear for days to come. 

He tries to roll off of her but she stops him, her arms tight around his shoulders and one of her legs over his hip. She pulls him in for a kiss, their noses pressing into each other's cheeks as they enjoy each other. 

He moves first, always wary that he could crush her, and he helps her up, smirking proudly as her legs wobble as she stands. She rolls her eyes at him but lets him guide her towards the bathroom anyway, well aware that she was still shaky. They shower together, gently cleaning each other before they climb out and dry off. She stops him from pulling on his pjyamas, and he raises an eyebrow at her, his amusement clear. 

“We literally just showered.” 

She scoffs at him and walks past him to the bed to climb into her side, “I know that you asshole,” she says, her tone letting him know she was joking, “But we never get to sleep naked anymore. I want to take the chance when we have it.” 

He smiles and nods, walking over to the bed to join her. Mason snuck into their room most nights, just as Isabella had done when she was his age but still did occasionally, and it meant they always had to pull clothes back on after sex. The simple pleasure of being pressed up against each other like that was something they had gladly lost, both of them well aware that they’d miss their children seeking them out like they did when they got older. 

Aaron climbs into bed with her and wraps his arm tightly around her, his bare chest against her back. They both sigh, contently and she reaches for his hand, linking their fingers together before she lifts their joint hands to her lips to kiss his knuckles. 

“Maybe next time we should go to Atlantic City,” she says idly, the thought of having this time alone with him more often more appealing than ever. 

“Yeah?” He asks, pressing a kiss to her damp hair, the smell of her shampoo as strong as it ever was.

“Yeah,” she replies, tilting her head back to capture his lips in a kiss, “I could show you what I used to get up to on my sin to win weekends.” 

He furrows his brow and pulls back from her, his confusion making her laugh, “Your what?” 

-x-

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[murderbot]

Urgent appeal🚨🍉

I am reaching out with a heavy heart to ask for your help in a time of desperate need. My 2.5-year- old son, Youssef, has been diagnosed with esophageal varices, a life-threatening condition causing severe internal bleeding. The medical intervention he urgently needs is not available in Gaza hospitals. We have created a GoFundMe campaign to raise the necessary funds to get him the life- saving treatment he needs outside of Gaza. Please, if you can, donate and share our campaign to help save Youssef's life. Your support means the world to us. Thank you.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/a-childs-plea-for-life-beyond-the-rubble

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can anyone match donations with me?

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[foreveranevilregal]

Encantober Day 5: Cold

It was a beautiful summer day. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and best of all, Pepa had zero gift-related obligations. After a rainy spring and sunny summer, the crops were growing well without Pepa’s intervention, making this year markedly different from the last when she’d practically drowned the valley after...

Well. After something they didn’t talk about.

But things were better now. Deciding to start one of the books Félix had gotten her for her last birthday (the man spoiled her; she thanked God every day for giving him to her), she walked along the path, book tucked under her arm, until she found a nice shady tree. She sat down next to the tree and opened her book. Julieta had recommended it, having enjoyed it herself, so Pepa was looking forward to seeing what happened. Of course, she plugged her ears when Julieta mentioned anything more detailed than the basic premise. Books were an adventure she preferred to discover by jumping right in. Having someone tell her what happens would defeat the purpose.

She read for a little while, savoring the gentle breeze that fluttered the pages in her hands. This book really was good. But an uneasy feeling had crept into her. Something was…off. She couldn’t quite place it, but it felt almost like when she was hungry; her mood plummeting without explanation.

For a few more minutes, she tried to keep reading, but it proved to be an exercise in futility. The breeze had turned chilly, making it hard to concentrate. Frustrated, she slammed the book shut. She didn’t understand what had sunk her mood. The book was amazing! So many wonderful things were happening, and Pepa just wanted to share them with someone!

And there was no one around.

There was no one around.

Oh. Cold air swirled around her as the realization struck. As much as Pepa enjoyed having a free day like this, and indulging in her favorite pastime, it was way more fun to spend the day goofing off with…with…

A fat freezing droplet skittered across the cover of her book. Another soon followed. Alarmed, Pepa looked up to see a heavy white cloud looming overhead. One drop turned to two turned to a sprinkle of sleeting rain. Pepa tried frantically to shield the book from the precipitation to no avail. Frost crept over the grass around her, turning the vibrant green to a dull white. Desperate, Pepa tossed the book behind the tree, where it would be safe from her emotion-driven downpour.

There were days when Pepa would give anything for a few hours’ peace, away from her chaotic family and the demands life placed on her. But now, as her heart panged, her pain raining down on her, she’d trade everything for someone by her side.

No one specific. Just someone.

She drew her knees up to her chest, shivering, and found herself wishing she’d brought a blanket. The summer weather had, of course, rendered a blanket unnecessary when she headed out. Glancing around herself, she found the blades of grass weighed down with frost. Teeth chattering, she blew on her hands to warm them up, her breath visible in the cold.

This was ridiculous. She needed to find a way to pull herself out of this. Clear skies…clear skies… Think of Félix, who adored her; her two wonderful children who brightened her life; her sobrinas; Julieta…

Like winter followed fall, the hole that inevitably followed Julieta’s name threatened to consume her. Pepa tried so hard to talk herself out of the looming dread that she refused to name. Why should she care? It’s not like he did when he abandoned them. No; he’d been selfish and self-preserving, wanting to spare himself the repercussions of yet another disastrous prophecy. Pepa gritted her teeth, clenching her soaked dress in her fists. The freezing rain kept pouring and there was nothing she could do about it.

Just like there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

“Tía?”

Startled, Pepa registered a blurry outline standing in front of her. Blinking back the tears, the image sharpened. “Mirabel. What are you doing here?”

The girl shrugged. “Everyone else is helping with their gifts, but I don’t have one, so mamá let me go play after I finished helping her.”

Pepa nodded, clearing her throat forcefully to expel the lump of sadness that had lodged there. “I see.”

Mirabel frowned, tilting her head, which knocked her glasses askew. “What’s wrong, tía? Why are you crying?”

Pepa tried for a brave smile, but her lips quivered. “Ah, the book I was reading, it’s so sad.” She waved dismissively, trying to play it off as no big deal. In all honesty, the book wasn’t sad until she’d gotten to the part where the family reunited after a series of trials. “Too sad for such a beautiful day.”

And it really had been such a beautiful day. Outside the haze of her cold front, the sun blazed as brightly as ever. She could smell all the plants blooming, ripening; glorious bursts of life marching on around her as she sat in her own personal winter. Why did she have to ruin everything? Why couldn’t she just enjoy what she had been given? Her mamá was right. She really could make the worst of a good situation.

Mirabel listened attentively; her big eyes trained on Pepa. “I don’t like sad stories either,” she shared, sitting down next to Pepa on the frozen grass.

Pepa’s eyes grew wide with fear. “Mira, I’ll get you all wet!” She protested, scooting away from the girl.

“I don’t mind, tía,” Mirabel said simply.

“Y-you don’t?” Pepa asked, bewildered.

Mirabel shook her head. “It’s only a little rain. The sun will dry us off. Plus you’re sad. You shouldn’t be sad all by yourself.”

“I-I shouldn’t?” Pepa was shocked by her empathy. Somehow, Mirabel knew exactly what she needed.

“Mm-mm.” Mirabel shook her head emphatically. “Being sad is a lot easier when you’re not alone.”

The way she said that made Pepa wonder if she was speaking from experience. Her heart broke to think about how Mirabel acquired such wisdom at such a young age. Awkwardly, Pepa wrapped her arm around her.

As if she’d been waiting for the invitation, Mirabel snuggled into her side with a contented sigh. “I hope you stop being sad soon, tía.”

“I hope so too,” Pepa murmured, playing with Mirabel’s hair absently. Already the grass was thawing and the cold fog lifting. “I love you, Mirabel.”

There was nothing but love in Mirabel’s eyes as she answered. “I love you too, tía.”

[knifechased]

hc + DOCTORS :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

          【 𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐂 + 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃. 】                     @medicus-felini     

     The island Killer was born and raised on bore an extremely high criminal population. Refuge, an island shrouded in misinformation and hidden under the blanket of heavy perpetual storms, was officially unnamed and without government protection. For this reason, it became the topic of rumors spoken in hushed tones in bars from surrounding islands throughout the South Blue. Supposedly, it was a lawless land where criminals could escape the watchful eyes of the World Government and escape the immediate threat of being hunted by the marines. It was said to be a criminal haven; a land so free and prosperous, that no man who sailed to her docks would ever wish to leave.      In reality, very little of this was actually true. Though Refuge was indeed a lawless land and was void of government intervention, it was far from the awe-inspiring and magnificent isle that it was believed to be. It was a desolate island, and those who were unlucky enough to survive being shipwrecked on her shores would find themselves trapped by the carnivorous Sea Kings and tumultuous storms. There was inadequate food to sustain a fraction of the total population, and only those able to trample on anyone weaker than themselves would be able to survive. Refuge was built from scraps and debris; there was no room for benevolence nor generosity when your best chance of success was to take it away from another.

     For these reasons, medical practices on Refuge were few and hard to come by. True professionals in the field were rare, and were often snatched up by independent gang members, kidnapped, and forced to work only for them. Alternatively, many doctors would charge so highly for their time that very few would ever be able to afford to see one. Even so, there was little in terms of modern medicine available on the island to begin with. Most remedies came either from the herbs harvest in Kimor Forest, or were imported at extortionate prices by Lochlan; something only the extremely wealthy could afford. A diagnosis was only helpful to a certain extent, as treatment would not always be available nor attainable for the majority of people. If someone was badly sick already, it was likely they would be too weak to search for the remedy they would need for their ailment anyway.           People began to invade Kimor in search of herbs, which lead to bloodied fights for territory and resources. In the end, this lead to Kimor Forest becoming a restricted area, guarded by the district leaders in order to protect what limited vegetation was able to grow on the island, lest it not be harvested to extinction.

There were many charlatans on the island — people who would lie about their status as a doctor, and sell snake oil to cure serious medical conditions. As a consequence, there was a particular attitude most people of the island felt towards doctors. Generally, they were assumed to either be con artists, or rich bastards who would swindle you of every last possession you owned in order to diagnosis you with a condition that could not be treated.

Being seen by a doctor was either considered a true luxury, or an act of optimistic ignorance. It was something only the truly desperate would seek. If you were sick enough to request their aid, your fate was probably already sealed.

Most people learned how to treat their own injuries and sicknesses, or they simply died from them. The people of Refuge were self sufficient in that regard, attaining just enough medical knowledge to survive each day, or ending up as another body littering the streets.

Killer was no exception to this mentality in his youth. It was how he was raised, and all he had ever known. The concept of there being a world outside of Refuge where doctors would want to aid others solely due to the goodness of their hearts was a fairytale to him. Like many, he simply could not afford to be seen by one even if he wanted to, and he learned the same bitter resentment towards those who were able to help him, but refused to do so without first receiving payment.

After Killer became the district leader of Barlea at age thirteen, he eventually gained access to being seen by Lochlan's personal doctor, yet he was still reluctant to do so. There was a feeling of being exposed that he did not care for. Lochlan would surely be told of any condition he had developed, and Killer did not feel safe having his weaknesses or injuries being known. It felt dangerous; he didn't doubt that this information would later be used against him, so he learned to hide any sickness or injury he could until he recovered on his own.

When Killer eventually left the island and began sailing the seas under the Kid Pirate flag, it still took a while for him to learn to trust fully trust doctors. He would continue to hide his injuries even after they appointed their first doctor, though admittedly, House was a doctor in name only, and his own medical knowledge was no better than anyone else on that ship at the time.

The crew was very aware that they could not enter the New World without a certified doctor. When Linn was finally appointed to take on the role, Killer considered her expertise to be more for the benefit of his nakama, rather than something he should need for himself. He respected her intelligence and her training, but he had trouble shaking off the feeling that she was not going to find a way to blackmail him, as all the previous doctors he had ever known would be inclined to do.

He did learn to trust her, admittedly much more easily than Kid. He now attends check ups with only minor resistance, which mainly stems from him not really enjoying how long they take. When he is sick or injured, he will make an appointment with her when he feels it is necessary, but it's still in his personality to try and tough most things out whenever he can.

[rosalind-hawkins]

Rock Bottom: Season Zero, Chapter Three

Excerpt: Seto interferes when he finds Joey bullying Yugi

~~~~~~~~~~

Seto was almost to his classroom and the halls were mostly empty when he came across an altercation that required his intervention: Joey Wheeler, easily one of his least favorite people in the world, was taunting Yugi Mutou, apparently holding something of his in one hand and holding it out of his classmate's reach. Granted, that wasn't very hard to do, given Yugi's small stature, but it was still cruel. Yugi was frantic in his efforts, reaching and pleading for it, but all to no avail. Joey seemed to be enjoying Yugi's distress, and that made Seto's blood boil. He'd managed to stay out of any serious fights since his "career change," afraid that his true state would be betrayed in the aftermath, especially if someone saw fit to try and take him to the school nurse afterward, but he couldn't allow this.

"How many times do I need to tell you to pick on someone your own size, Wheeler?" He glared at the blond as he approached, who turned and grinned smugly.

"You don't need to do anything, you know," Joey pointed out, as if he enjoyed mocking Seto's noble nature. "You could just walk away for once."

"Not a chance," Seto growled as he dropped his backpack by the lockers lining the hallway. "It'll only take a moment to teach you a lesson."

Yugi had started backing away from the bully; now that Seto was here, he knew that things were going to get violent, and he'd rather be out of the way than risk being collateral damage. He cringed against the wall, glancing at his watch as he noticed with a sense of panic that there was only a couple minutes until class started.

Joey pocketed his loot before lunging at Seto. They grappled briefly, Seto using Joey's momentum against him to knock him to the floor only to have Joey hook his arm around Seto and bring him down as well. As Seto's back slammed into the floor, a sound of pain tore from his throat, unbidden. For a brief moment, pain resonated through every inch of his being, and he couldn't breathe. The air had been knocked out of him as he fell, eyes closed as he braced himself for impact. Joey stood and laughed, making Seto open his eyes to glare at him as he forced himself off of the floor. His adversary stood over him, victorious (for once), and gloating.

"Looks like I'm not the one getting my ass kicked today," Wheeler taunted, and as Seto tried to stand, he bent over and reached out with the intent of grabbing Seto by the hair and shoving him back to the floor, but something about his gesture had made Seto flinch. Seto had flinched. Joey shoved him down by the shoulder, then walked away, leaving his defeated foe on the floor. Joey slipped into his classroom with less than thirty seconds to spare.

Yugi rushed forward, reaching out to help Seto stand, but the taller teen brushed his hand away, perhaps a little more forcefully than necessary.

"One of these days, Yugi, you'll realize that pacifism isn't practical," Seto said bitterly, picking up his backpack as he started walking somewhat stiffly towards his own classroom just down the hall. "You could win your own fights if you just tried."