#he might not be crying but he is clearly heartbroken

[my-name-is-markus-with-a-k]

[SACRIFICE NORTH]

[muzansfangs]

Imagine Douma’s first real emotion is jealousy and/or anger (alongside some horniness), and you being the cause of it, meaning he will be letting it all out on you.

Jealousy.

Starring: Douma x f!reader; Akaza;

Format: drabble;

Warnings: nsfw, jealousy, lust, first time Douma actually experiences a human emotion, possessive behaviour, dom!Douma, sub!reader, rough sex, biting, fear play, unprotected sex, mention to bruises, vaginal sex, dirty talk;

Plot: He had always desired to feel something. From the dreadful emotions to the blissful ones. When his multicolored eyes landed on you back then, Douma knew you might have helped him to feel less of an empty shell. Surely, he did not expect to feel sick at the sight of his ‘best friend’ conversing with you.

﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏﹏

“What did you do to me, huh?” Douma rasped out, hands pinning your twitching ones above your head, whilst his hips smacked against yours in a steady and brutal tempo. He demanded an answer, he wanted to hear an explanation from you, he yearned for coherent words to roll out of your tongue and not those high-pitched cries and moans filling the air as he occasionally hit your cervix.

You witch, you had clearly casted a spell on him. If it was not for your human nature, he would have probably blamed it on a demonic technique. He felt so sick.

If only he knew what your proximity, what his lust over your pretty face and body would have caused to him, he would have probably ignored you at the local festival the infamous night you met. He should have devoured you. After all, it was what demons did: they ate humans. Then again, he had not felt that urge, primal desire to consume you to the bone back then. Something had stopped him and, naturally, he took it as a manna from the Heaven.

Years of clinical apathy, centuries spent in observing people interacting and chattering in ways he could not comprehend, eager to mimic their emotions, to experience them too for real. He thought he had grasped the essence of them all, the feeling they caused. Why? Faking them should have been the equivalent of manifesting them.

It all turned out to be useless, in the end. He had always wanted to feel something, whatever it was that life had gifted him with. The salty tears streaming down his face, when he pretended to be heartbroken in front of his followers, had never actually tasted bitter and found himself hoping they did now. He had never felt the typical pang of sorrow in his chest, prelude to a meltdown, or the lump in his throat hard to swallow for the very first time before bursting into a desperate cry. He had always feigned his emotions, especially the dreadful ones people tried to escape. Still, he had tried to imagine what those sensetions would have felt like for real.

But, oh dear, did it feel horrendous now that he was affected by one of them.

You writhed underneath him, squirming, sweat beading your forehead as he thrusted into you with a cold brutality he had never showed before. You knew he could not be in love with you, his heart had never been blessed with the capacity of feeling that surge of positive energy and dizzying emotions all people did. Yet, you did love him and you had chosen to stay by his side. For that, Douma lavished you, he showered you in exepensive gifts, he gave you honors, he treated you with care.

The beast hovering over you now, though, was not your loving boyfriend. It was a pissed off Upper Moon, whose fangs were bared and claws were scraping your tender flesh. His cock, engorged and twitching, was bullying your gummy, delicate walls with ferocity to get answers from you. He was going insane.

“I did n-nothing!” you choked out, screwing your eyes shut as he scoffed and shook his head.

“Don’t lie to my face! You talked to him! You sang! You treated him the way you treat me! How dare you?” Douma seethed, a vein popping on the side of his head as he brought his mouth down to yours in a searing kiss. Your blood had run cold for a split second. Those pearly fangs, sharp enough to rip out your throat, had dangerously grazed your jaw and finally bit down onto your bottom lip. The metallic taste of blood on your tongue a warning to take matters in your hands.

You knew what had happened, what was going on with him right now. It took you by surprise, but he was going through the different stages of jealousy. Currently, taking it all out on you was the last one.

The root of his envy and anger was the way you, his companion, were beaming at his so-called best friend. You had heard so many stories about Akaza that you had been dying to know him. He was a kind demon, at least to women. Striking up a conversation with him came natural to you, therefore you had offered the Upper Rank Three to sing for him like you did to Douma.

A smile, a sweet and innocent smile of yours had been the final straw.

The sound of pottery smashing, your look of concern when Douma coldly demanded Akaza to leave, and the way he had easily sliced his arm off of his body at his refusal to leave you with him in his moment of instability, were all you could recall before he had you moaning out his name onto his bed. You were struggling to endure this pleasurable torture. You had lost the count of how many orgasms he had denied you. With a blurry vision, you arched your back to lock your legs behind the small of his back.

“J-Jealousy! You’re feeling something! This— Ah! This is jealousy, D-Douma!” you blurted out, only for him to still his thrusts and push further down onto the mattress.

Jealousy. Disgusting feeling, a lame one. Out of everything he could learn to experience, Douma had been sentenced to endure such a deplorable emotion.

He snorted, hand grasping your jaw as his tongue lapped at the small cut on your lower lip, still bleeding “Jealousy, huh? If that’s the case, you can fix it, right? Be a dear and stay away from any man in the Temple, at the village, down to the cities and at the Infinity Castle” he snarled, the glint of malice making his kaleidoscopic eyes even more mystical in the dim light provided by the candles on the nightstand.

His, permanently, caged and strangled by his consuming love. This was your fate, for you were his and no one else’s.

AUTHOR NOTE.

Hello there! Oh, how dearly I had missed writing for my favorite upper moon. Thanks for this thirst, anon! I hope you enjoyed the meal!

Likes, comments and re-posts are greatly appreciated!

X O X O

TAGS: @doumadono @mrskokushibo because we started a cult with the upper moons✨

[diorcities]

⠀   ⠀ ── ৎ ۟ 𓂂 ͟𓇼 nct dream when they make you cry !

nct dream sfw headcanon. hurt/comfort, mention of a wound. not happy with this, but still 💭 enjoy! library.

jeno. feels so guilty, he would stop immediately and run to hold you in his arms. arguing with you must be the thing he hates the most, though he knows that sometimes it's impossible not to have small arguments for vain things. he is irritated by tiredness and one thing led to another and the altercation arose. you don't even know why he's upset with you, which would lead to you crying because you don't know what to do. when he sees you crying, he would stop immediately and apologize to you, ending the argument.

chenle. the first few minutes of watching you cry he'd ignore you. you're just exaggerating, like always. he'd add fuel to the fire and keep arguing even when you're not responding. it is then when a bad feeling would start crackling in his stomach he would freeze in place not knowing what to do after saying all those mean things to you that he nows regrets. he approaches slowly, feeling the area, searching for any discomfort from you. his arms holds you, both remaining silent for an eternity, until one of you decide it's right to speak again.

renjun. unbelief bathes his features, because you're clearly using the crying card to get away with it. he won't give in, you're very stubborn and so is he. he can't believe you're crying about something he said, in the end, it's normal to have disagreements... maybe he's gone too far in trying to make his point. but you really act very well, he begins to believe you, until he realizes the seriousness of the situation and that he really hurt you with his actions. he'd feel like the worst person in the world for believing you'd cry just to be right, he hates thinking that way about you, because it couldn't be further from the truth.

haechan. he doesn't see the consequences of his actions until it happens. this time he didn't think that raising his voice would have that reaction from you, but you kept talking over him, and he had to make his point. watching you freeze would make him see how bad it was to do it. anxiety eats him alive, and makes him restless because you're not talking anymore and your lips trembles. but he's still stubborn, and lets you go into the room while he sorts out his thoughts, waiting for the waters to calm down before he says anything else that might hurt you.

jaemin. he scolds you too much because he worries too much. he doesn't see the severity in his tone of voice when he tells you how dangerous it is to cut vegetables like that; gets very nervous and anxious that you're going to hurt yourself, which inevitably happens. then he starts reprimanding you and it feels very stimulating for you. he takes care of the wound but you still feel his anger towards you. however, it is not a nuisance but a frustrating and heavy concern for your well-being. but you don't know that, and he doesn't express it, so you burst into tears.

jisung. too stunned to move or speak. he just stays there and watches you cry because he can't get it into his head that you'd have become so sensitive about a comment he didn't even mean it. you seem a little affected, maybe if he gets close you'll reject him, and he won't stand you pushing him away if he tries to comfort you, so he stays close and quiet. until you seem to start to calm down, wipe away your tears and walk away to your bedroom without looking at him, heartbroken because he hasn't even bothered to hug you.

mark. he knows how much you don't like arguing with him, which inevitably leads to him biting his tongue. it makes you feel guilty that he cares so much that he doesn't want to express himself sincerely. as you try to make your point and ask him to tell you things no matter how raw they are, tears come to your eyes. he would apologize immediately and cease the discussion immediately. no disagreement's worth crying about, and there's no anger that's enough not to comfort you in the moment.

© diorcities / tagging @tddyhyck ♡︎

[harrysmmm]

𝑵𝒐𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎, 𝒚𝒐𝒖 | 𝒅.𝒎

Draco Malfoy x Y/N (f!reader)

Setting: Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince

Summary: where Draco has had a crush on you since forever, but you were dating Harry, until you two break up.

A/N: I wrote this in a day. Hope you like it! I might make a part two if you want it :) happy reading!

W/C: 4.6K

masterlist here

“But I am in love with you Y/N!”

“We’re always fighting Harry; it’s actually getting too much at this point.”

You and Harry had been dating since fourth year, when he asked you to the Yull Ball, but you’d had a crush on each other since you met. However, since fifth year, when the Order of the Phoenix was created within Hogwarts and Harry became more dedicated to Voldemort’s pursue, things had gotten out of hand between you two. You were constantly getting into arguments – Harry not communicating anything with you and you having to rip the thoughts out of him. You felt like you came as Harry’s last priority and although you had much love for him, you were sick of the ongoing difficult tension between the two of you.

“It’s not because we fight a lot that it means I don’t love you, Y/N,” Harry exclaimed.

You were both in Harry’s dorm, everyone having dinner at the Great Hall.

“But it does Harry, it does!” you added. “I understand you’re going through a lot but you’re always rude towards me, you don’t talk to me about anything that is going on and you expect me to know what to say to you, what to do all the goddamn time, I’m done!”

“Fine! We’re done then! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bed – you know where to find the door,” he said getting in bed as if you weren’t standing there.

“You’re unbelievable. Good fucking night.” You slammed the door behind you and left to your dorm.

You spent the night crying under the sheets – heartbroken by the person you had loved the most.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“Y/N the Sopophorus bean shouldn’t be added now,” Hermione told you.

“Huh?” You were too distracted with glancing at Harry that Potions’ class was put on the background.

“Okay, that’s it, you need to stop looking at Harry. In fact, you need to stop everything that includes Harry,” she snapped at you.

You didn’t say anything because you knew it was true.

“It has been a month since you broke up, Y/N. And fine, Ron and I can deal with you both not talking to each other but you need to seriously start moving on.”

“Okay, okay, no need of a lecture.”

“What’s gotten into you today? You’re looking at him more than usual.” Hermione looked at Harry who was also looking at their direction. “And he’s looking at you more than usual.”

“It’s not the time, Hermione. I think Draco can hear us,” you whispered. Draco was always sitting behind you two.

“He’s focused on the potion, he’s not listening. Tell me,” Hermione said, seeing Draco carefully stirring the potion.

“Well, I don’t know if he’s told you, but I know he’s dating someone. I saw them both making out by the lake yesterday.”

Hermione didn’t know what to say.

“But that’s not the worst part. The worst part is who he’s dating,” you continued.

“Who?” Hermione asked, very shocked by the turn of events.

You stared at her before saying it. “Ginny.”

Hermione didn’t say a word, speechless about the confession.

“Yep,” you simply said, going back to the potion in front of you both.

It was a wild twist in the story because Ginny, Hermione and you were very close, and Ginny had been one of the girls that had comforted you since the breakup. The moment you saw both of them snogging you felt like something died within you. Not only because it clearly stated that Harry had moved on from you, but also that one of your best friends had been lying and pretending in front of you for no one knew how long. You hadn’t talked to Ginny and the tension between you and Harry had majorly grown since.

Hermione and you continued to work on the potion, unaware of the fact that Draco had heard every single word of the conversation.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

Draco had been in love with you since he set foot at Hogwarts. Long before he knew what love meant and how it felt, he had tried to impress you indirectly, by flying up to the sky with Neville’s personal belongings, by applying for Quidditch’ seeker position, by walking up to Hagrid’s hippogriff and trying to ride it, by facing up Potter when he became a Triwizard champion and had asked you to the Yull Ball and by applying to Umbridge’s little inquisitory group to try and dismantle the order. He did all that for you, and although you were totally unaware of the boy’s feelings, he didn’t know of any other way to get to you. In his mind, you were absolutely unreachable. He was aware of how other boys in class talked about you – because needless to say, you had been categorized as the prettiest girl in class. Draco’s enmity with Harry had developed because of Draco’s jealousy on your relationship with him. You had been a close friend of the chosen one since first year, and even Professors had always thought that you two would make a lovely couple. Draco had had to bear the flirtatious looks of you and Harry during class; how you would clap at him when he was about to catch the snitch during a match; how you would kiss him at the Great Hall during breakfast; how you would both giggle together running through the hallways of the castle; how you would become very worried when Harry was told to face detention by Umbridge. But even if Draco knew that he didn’t really exist for you despite of all his acts, he couldn’t forget about you because you were the only light that he felt he had in his life. The thought of you loving him one day was what kept him living each day that went by. He would constantly daydream about you before bed, during class, in the Slytherin common room, during lunch – he was just so enamored by you. However, deep down he felt like he didn’t deserve you, that was the ultimate reason to why he had never approached you. And all his jealousy, fury and sadness tended to be projected onto Potter, the boy that had conquered your heart.

He had overheard your conversation with Hermione during Potions. He had seen your light diminish since the breakup but the day you had told Hermione you had caught Harry with Ginny, he had seen you at your worst. He couldn’t comprehend how Potter had treated you so poorly during the last year of your relationship and how he could’ve gone behind your back kissing the Weasley girl. He felt so protective over you he decided to confront Harry by the lake, where he knew he could find him snogging with Ginny.

“Potter and a Weasley. Pathetic. Does your brother know about this, red-hair?”

“Malfoy, get the fuck out of here,” said Harry, looking for his wand in his pocket.

“You,” he talked to Ginny. “You should be ashamed of how pathetic you are as a friend. Does Y/L/N know about this?”

Ginny didn’t respond knowing he was right.

“That’s it, septum-” Harry started saying, being interrupted by Draco.

“Expelliermus!” Draco unarmed Harry.

Harry approached Draco and they both started to fight with each other physically. Draco punched Harry on the nose but before he could leave Harry kicked Draco, the latter falling on the ground.

They didn’t stop until they were both incapable of getting up.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“Will you stop eating?!” asked Hermione to Ron, hitting him with a book. “Your best friend is missing!”

“Oi! Turn around, you lunatic” said Ron, seeing Harry enter the Great Hall.

He sat down in front of Hermione with a bleeding nose and bleeding wounds everywhere.

“Where have you been?” asked Hermione.

“Nowhere,” replied Harry.

You were sitting down a few seats away from the scene, wondering what in the world had happened to Harry. The answer was revealed when a certain bleached one entered the Great Hall, also bleeding.

“What happened Harry? Did you fight with Malfoy?” asked Hermione, having seen the blonde’s entrance.

“He was looking for it,” replied Harry.

Hermione looked over at you worried. You shrugged your shoulders in response. Hermione looked back at Harry.

“Harry, you should report this to Professor McGonagall.”

Harry didn’t reply and kept eating. Hermione looked back at you worried. You mouthed to her “I got this”. You thought Malfoy’s rivalry with Harry had cooled down that year but based on what had happened that afternoon you were worried it had something to do with the conversation you had had with Hermione during Potions’ class, even if you didn’t know why.

Dinner ended and students started to periodically get up from their seats and head towards their common rooms. You waited until Draco got up and followed him through the hallways. When no one was with you two, you called him.

“Malfoy!”

He turned around and looked at you, only to look away and keep walking.

You ran up to him.

“I want to talk to you,” you said.

“Why?” he replied, still not looking at you and walking straight.

“Can we stop for a second and talk? I can’t keep up your pace.”

He stopped and looked at you annoyed.

“What?” he repeated.

“I know you got into a fight with Harry.”

He rolled his eyes and kept walking.

“What happened, exactly?” you asked, running after him.

He didn’t reply.

“Draco!”

He stopped when you said his name.

“Why do you wanna know, Y/L/N?”

“I know you two were leaving each other alone until today. I wanna know why you fought.”

“Why don’t you ask your boyfriend?”

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore. We don’t talk.”

“That’s not my fucking problem,” he replied.

“Did you hear anything I told Hermione during Potions?”

Draco startled but tried to hide it. You still noticed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied.

“Then why did you two fight?”

“I’m getting bored of this conversation already.” He kept walking.

“Fine, just so you know, if you did it for what I said during Potions class, that was not the way to go,” you said, still standing up. He kept walking. “But thank you nonetheless.”

He kept walking, still having heard your words. A smirk got on his face as he walked towards his common room.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

A week later, you were eating in the Great Hall with Hermione.

“Have you already confronted Ginny about the whole thing?” Hermione asked you.

“No, not yet, have you?”

“Of course not, I don’t wanna get mingled,” she replied.

You looked up and saw Draco walking through the corridor. His eyes met yours as he sat down for lunch.

“How could Harry be so insensitive? And how come Ginny never talked to you before anything happened?” Hermione was still ranting about it – your gaze was still on Draco, as was his.

You didn’t know what had exactly changed since the day you talked to him but suddenly his eyes were speaking to you and you found yourself intrigued by his presence.

He looked away from you and focused on what his friend was telling him.

You engaged in conversation with Hermione.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

You were studying for a Transfiguration test out on the grass field. You were trying to turn a cup into a flower but the more you tried, the less it seemed to work. You knew that you needed to have a calmed mind in order to work but you couldn’t stop overthinking Harry’s thing with Ginny and your encounter with Malfoy.

In the distance, you saw Draco walking down gripping on some books. He saw you studying but quickly looked away. You debated in your head whether you should go up to him but you thought you’d look stupid without having anything to say, so you decided not to.

You noticed another boy was also looking at you. He came towards you.

“Hi, Y/N” Harry said.

“Hey, Harry” you replied, without looking at him.

“Hum… I just came to apologize,” he mumbled.

“For what?” you asked.

“You know for what,” he replied.

“There’s nothing to apologize for, Harry. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to study.”

“Always making things so difficult, I’m trying to do the right thing here,” he finally said, getting pissed.

“Are you though? Because as far as I know the right thing had to be done months ago, now it’s not the time Harry!”

“You don’t know what I’ve had to bear with-”

“You never bothered to share it with me in the first place!”

“It’s not that simple Y/N.”

“Nothing is ever simple with you Harry.”

“Hasn’t she told you to go, Potter?” Draco appeared behind Harry.

Harry turned around. “What do you want, Malfoy?”

“I have a pending conversation with Y/L/N. Besides, this is not your yard, scar head.”

“Whatever,” Harry looked back at you. “Enjoy your time with Malfoy.” He left.

“What was that for?” you asked Draco.

“He was being a git, can’t bare it.”

You stayed in silence and looked at his books. “You wanna… perhaps… study with me?”

He looked at you for a few seconds. “I’m good.” He also left.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It was one a.m. at night – you couldn’t sleep, your mind going back to different moments of the last few months. You decided to get up and head to the kitchen. You had befriended some of the elves and as they were cleaning up maybe they could give you a cup of hot milk. You went down the stairs, exited the common room and walked through the hallways. While you were walking, someone carrying a torch approached you.

“What are you doing here?” Malfoy was standing in front of you.

“I could ask you the same thing,” you replied, still bothered he ditched you the other day.

“I am patrolling. I am a prefect,” he replied.

Right. You had forgotten about that. “I was just going to get a glass of milk.”

“Where?”

“To the kitchen,” you simply replied.

“Students don’t go to the kitchen. Especially at this time of the night,” Draco said, with disgust on his face.

“Draco, I just want a glass of milk. I can’t sleep,” you tried to convince him.

“You’re not going to the kitchen, Y/L/N,” he directly said. “Don’t make me give you detention.”

“Fine,” you replied, turning around. “Thanks for your help, Malfoy.”

“Anytime Y/L/N,” he replied.

When you had left his sight, you turned to another corridor that also led to the kitchen. You were going down the stairs when suddenly you heard a voice behind you.

“Do you think I’m stupid or what?” Draco snapped at you.

“I’m going to bed!” you lied.

“That’s not the way to your bed, Y/N/L, unless you’re sleeping in the Slytherin dorms – which you’re not.”

“Who says I’m not?” you teased.

Draco looked at you being fed up.

“You’re not a Slytherin.”

“That doesn’t matter. I can still sleep there.”

“Where exactly?”

“That’s none of your business,” you replied.

“It is because you’re lurking in the hallway at one fucking a.m. in the morning!”

“You told me to go to bed, I’m going to bed!” you replied, slightly having fun with the conversation.

“That’s not the way to your bed!”

“I’m sleeping with someone!”

“Who?” he asked.

“A Slytherin,” you replied.

“Who?” he repeated.

“You don’t know him.”

“Oh, I can assure you if he’s a Slytherin I do know him.”

“His name is Tom.” You couldn’t think of any other name.

“Well, either way, I’m not letting you go sleep in someone else’s room.”

“But I won’t tell, I swear.”

“You just want your glass of milk and you’ve made up a whole story to convince me,” he ended up saying.

“Please Draco, I’m really thirsty.”

He sighed. “I am going with you then. If you get on my nerves I’m calling Snape, Y/L/N. And don’t lie to me again,” he finally said, giving up.

“Thank you Draco, really appreciate it.”

He went down the stairs with you, and headed towards the kitchen. The elves had already left.

“Alright, go grab the milk and we go,” he said, leaning over the counter.

You started looking for the milk in different cupboards until you found it. You grabbed a cup and poured yourself some milk.

“Don’t you have to patrol with Pansy?” you asked him.

“Why are you asking questions?”

“I’m curious. I thought you had to patrol with another prefect,” you replied.

“Well yeah, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be the one in the same house as you. I’m patrolling with Weasley tonight but each of us go our separate ways.”

“I didn’t know Ron was patrolling tonight,” you added, realizing how long it had been since you had talked to Ron after the incident with Harry.

“I assume you’re still not talking to Potter,” he added.

“Nope. Not missing it either.”

“I have to ask, how is that you dated him? What did you see in him?” Well, that was an interesting question coming from Malfoy. “I can’t imagine dating someone like Potter, what a twat.”

“Well, I fell in love, I guess. I mean, he’s good looking, brave, passionate-”

Draco laughed. “Pff, sure thing.”

“And why is that you two hate each other so much?” you asked him in return.

“He’s always going around as if the world belongs to him for being the chosen one.”

“Don’t you do the same though?” you asked.

He startled. “No, I’m the one who puts him on his place.”

“He could say the same about you,” you added.

“What are you guys talking about?” Ron appeared in the kitchen. “I heard some noises, I thought they were first years out of bed.”

“Just came down to the kitchen to give Y/L/N some milk, she couldn’t sleep.”

“Since when do you do that for anyone, Malfoy?” asked Ron.

“I’ll suggest you keep your mouth shut, Weaslebee,” he replied.

“Well, I’m done here guys, so if you’ll excuse me I’ll go to bed now.”

“Go with her, I don’t trust her a bit,” Draco said to Ron.

“Good night Draco,” you said to him before leaving.

“Whatever,” he replied.

Once you were out of sight, he let himself relax again. Even if he showed the opposite, that had been one the best moments he had experienced in at least the last year.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It was Christmas break, you were in the Hogwarts Express to go back home. You were sitting in a wagon with Hermione talking to you about the past exams but all you could think about was Draco. You were constantly replaying in your mind what happened in the hallways at night when you two bumped into each other and you were slightly convinced he also had a crush on you by the way he acted. The urge to see him was so intense that you told Hermione you were going to buy something to eat and left the wagon.

You went to the Slytherin wagon and found him sitting down with Blaise and Pansy, two of his friends. You walked through the corridor to the other side of the wagon, peripherally having a look at him. You noticed he was also looking at you.

“This is not your wagon, Gryffindork” Pansy told you as you were passing.

“I’m just passing through,” you replied.

“Right.”

You hoped that Draco would say something but nothing came out of his mouth. You turned back and left the wagon.

What a prick. After all, he was still a pureblood Slytherin, and one of the worst kind, what were you thinking?

You went back to your wagon.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It was the day that students came back from Christmas break to Hogwarts. You had spent a lovely holiday with your family and you felt ready to face whatever was about to happen. Whatever except for what happened.

“Y/N, I miss you.” Harry was standing in front of you in the hallway.

“What?” you replied.

“I’ve been giving our situation some thought and realized I acted as a prick with you and wanted to amend things.”

“Aren’t you with Ginny?”

“We haven’t talked during the break,” he replied.

“Well, I’m not some kind of rebound, Harry.”

“No, of course not. That’s not what I meant.”

“Besides, I like someone else now.” It was painful to say but it was true. You were over the hills for a certain blonde.

“Who?” he asked.

“It’s none of your business, Harry.”

“Y/N, we can work it out.”

“No, we can’t. We’re done Harry, you need to move on.”

He stood up as you left. The whole situation had given you a sense of control that had made you feeling unstoppable. You felt this urge of confessing, for some odd reason. It had felt to so good to state out loud what you felt for Draco that now the only person that was left to tell was him. You didn’t really think of what his reaction could be, you just wanted to spread the word to him.

You roamed in the hallways looking for his face until minutes later you spotted him with Blaise and Pansy. You walked up to him.

“Malfoy.”

Pansy and Blaise, as well as Draco, looked surprise.

“What?” he replied.

“Can I talk to you, in private?” Blaise and Pansy looked at each other, confused.

Draco just sighed and stood up – both of you going to a quieter and more intimate place.

“What’s going on Y/L/N?” he asked you.

“Okay, so I’m about to say something to you. I don’t know how you’re going to feel about it, but I’m still taking the risk. Trust me, this comes as a surprise to me as well as it will come to you.”

“Alright,” he replied. “What is it?”

You sighed, your heartbeat being all over the moon.

“I like you, Draco.”

“What?” he said.

“I like you.”

“I heard you, but what does that mean?”

You started to feel the regret coming.

“I might have a crush on you.”

“You have a crush on me?” he repeated.

“That’s what I said, yep.”

“Alright.”

You stood in silence. “Alright?”

“Yeah, what do you expect me to say?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know.”

“Well, thank you for telling me. I’m going then.”

“Okay, see you.”

“Bye.”

You stood up there not understanding what had just happened.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

A month went by and you hadn’t talked to Draco again. You felt so ashamed about confessing to him that you had tried to avoid him at any cost. He had left you so pathetically that you couldn’t bare the thought of him knowing what you felt. It was eating you inside. You hadn’t told Hermione about the situation. Instead, you might’ve agreed on going out with Harry again. You just needed to show Draco (and yourself) that you weren’t desperately crying in a corner about what happened.

You started then dating Harry again.

You were walking down a hallway when you found yourself facing Draco. You looked down hoping to avoid him.

“Y/L/N,” he said to you.

“What?”

“Hadn’t seen you in a while, where have you been?”

“Around,” you replied.

“I’ve seen you’ve got back with scarhead.”

“Yeah.”

“I thought that was over for you.”

“Well, it’s clearly not,” you replied.

“Good,” he said.

You wanted to die at that exact moment. “Goodbye Malfoy.”

You left withholding some tears.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

It had been two months since the last time you had spoken to Draco. You were still dating Harry, trying to go back to how it used to be but things had profoundly changed within you. Your heart belonged to someone else.

You had gone to Hogsmeade to clear your thoughts. You were walking around the different stores and pubs until you saw Draco talking to Pansy in front of the Three Broomsticks. Something pounded in your heart when you saw how close they were. He saw you walking but didn’t engage in conversation.

An hour later you were tired of walking around and you were going back to the castle until someone stop you halfway.

“Y/L/N!” You turned around and saw Draco walking up to you. “What’s up?”

“Hi,” you replied.

“Enjoying the day?”

“Fairly,” you replied.

“You came alone? Where’s the funny trio?”

“I don’t know.”

“Not even the boyfriend came?”

“Do you see Harry anywhere nearby?” you snapped.

“Merlin, what has gotten into you?”

“Nothing.” You kept walking.

“Tell me, I’m curious.”

“I said nothing, Malfoy.”

He remained silent for a bit. “Is it because of what you told me a few months ago?”

“What did I tell you?”

“That you liked me.”

“Whatever,” you replied.

“You’re with Potter now, everything is fine, isn’t it?” he kept going.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Malfoy.”

“I mean, you were the one that got back with Potter, I don’t know what I’ve done in the story.”

“I said drop it,” you replied.

“Alright, alright,” he said, still walking by your side. “But if you want to tell me something, just say it.

You snapped. “Oh, so you’re expecting that I smile and laugh with you after I told you that I liked you and you literally left me standing there?”

“What did you want me to say? Besides, you got back with Potter!”

“You could’ve handled things differently!”

“Like how?”

“Like talking to me about how you felt, even if it was not reciprocated.”

“You didn’t ask me, you just told me you liked me, what do you answer to that?”

“You say something, you do something, for Merlin’s beard!” you exclaimed.

“Well now you’re with Potter, right?”

You didn’t answer.

“Because if you’re not, maybe we can talk about it.”

“Talk about what?” you asked.

“About us.”

Something lit up in you.

“What is it with us?”

“I don’t know, what do you want it to be?”

“Draco, stop asking me abstract questions.”

“I might want something with you, Y/N.”

You stopped and looked at him. “Something like what?”

“Like maybe dating, if that’s what you want.”

“You want to date me? Do you like me?”

“If I’m asking you to date me it’s because I like you, Y/N.”

“Since when?” you asked.

“I don’t really know.” He did know though, since you had said your first words in class almost.

“Are you sure about this?”

“Yes, why would I be fooling you?”

“I don’t know Draco, I don’t know.”

He got closer to you.

“So, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna date me or stay with Potter?”

You looked at him, he was partly smiling. You thought he was looking gorgeous.

“I like you, it’s not working between Harry and I,” you ended up saying.

“So you’re gonna break up with him?” he asked.

“Yes.” He couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He took both your hands and rubbed his thumb, caressing your fingers.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time,” he said.

“Why didn’t you?”

“I never thought you felt the same.”

“But I told you I did.”

“I was too scared. Besides, you got with Potter so I thought you were in love with him.”

“Right, I’m not.”

He got closer to you, his lips approaching yours as he placed a short peck on them.

You laughed.

“What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” you replied.

“Right.”

And that’s how you both went back to the castle, both your hands tangled with one another.

[rafesfavgirl]

i just want to know — r. cameron

another sad one bc i apparently don't know when to stop lol

❝ you didn't measure up in any measure of a man and i don't even want you back,  i just want to know ❞

pairing: ex-situationship!rafe x fem!reader

context: on the night of your 21st birthday, you run into rafe cameron—the boy who broke your heart.

words: 1.3k+

warnings: mentions of a toxic situationship, drunk!reader, word vomit, alcohol use, cigarette use, might make you cry, so much ANGST

you tumble out of the bar, your vision getting hazy from the amount of alcohol you'd drank, when two hands reach out to steady you.

"woah there, doll," the familiar drawl of his voice catches your attention, the alcohol haze fading for just a second as your eyes meet his.

rafe cameron.

"those are bad for you, you know," you point at the unlit cigarette hanging from the side of his mouth and he narrows his eyes at you, amused at your drunken state.

"and alcohol's not good for you either, but that didn't stop you, did it?" he kinks an eyebrow and you giggle.

"touché," you nod once and slip out of his arms to walk along the sidewalk, before slipping down against the brick wall of the bar to sit down on the concrete.

"alright, what are you doing?" rafe walks over to you when you begin unstrapping your heels from your feet.

"these shoes have been killing me all night," you complain, letting out a sigh of relief and tossing them off to the side.

"then why do you wear them?" rafe asks, taking a seat beside you.

"because they make my legs look hot," you say, causing him to chuckle.

he couldn't exactly argue. when the two of you used to go out, your legs were one of his favorite things about you—especially the way they looked wrapped around his waist.

"where are your friends, doll?" rafe takes the cigarette out of his mouth and shoves it into his pocket.

"don't know," you shrug. "making out with some guys, maybe?"

"and why aren't you?" he asks. "isn't it your birthday?"

that makes you snap your head towards him. "are you stalking me?"

"i-"

"i'm just kidding," you playfully hit his arm and giggle, causing him to shake his head at you, amused. "and to answer your question, i prefer to be single."

"oh?" his eyebrows raise, his blue irises boring into yours. "and why's that?"

"it keeps me focused," you say, pointing a finger at your forehead.

"focused on what?"

"school, college, my career…" you begin listing things off, and rafe listens intently. "i wanna be a doctor, you know. can't be out and about dating guys and getting my heartbroken."

"just 'cause you meet a guy in a bar doesn't mean you gotta date 'em," he reminds you. "don't you wanna have fun?"

"i tried that already, remember?" you allude to the situation you'd put yourself in with him a year ago, the alcohol clearly clouding your judgment—you'd never bring that up to him sober. "it didn't work out quite how i wanted it to."

a sigh falls from his lips, as he glances down. "y/n…"

"hey, can i ask you something?" you cut him off, and he picks his head up to look at you again.

"are you in the state to ask me something?"

"probably not," you shake your head, a smile on your lips. "but i probably won't get the chance to ask again."

"alright, shoot," he nodded.

you tilt your head to the side, eyes locking with his. "why did you end it?"

by the way his shoulders shift and his posture straightens, it was clear he wasn't expecting that to be the question. he always thought it ended amicably because you both agreed to it—or maybe that's just what he's told himself to prevent himself from feeling bad for breaking your heart.

"i mean, was it me?" you continue when he doesn't answer. "did i do something wrong? was i not experienced enough? did you just feel bad for me? what was it? cause i've driven myself crazy trying to figure it out and i just— i thought we were having fun."

you knew that you'd began to ramble, questions slipping out of your mouth with no filter, the alcohol winning over.

his eyes scan over your face, which looked to be in agony, your eyebrows scrunched and your eyes pleading.

"we were," he nods. "y/n, it never had anything to do with you."

"then why?" you asked, voice cracking.

the alcohol was now making you emotional, and there was no stopping it.

"why did you end it, rafe?" you poke a finger at his chest. "i thought you liked me."

"i did," he said, hand reaching up to push a piece of your back. "oh, pretty girl, i did."

his touch lingers for a second before it's gone again, and your eyes are welling up with tears.

"then why were there always other girls?" you ask, surprising him—he didn't know you knew about them. "if you liked me, why was there always someone else? why were you always with someone else when you weren't with me? why wasn't i enough for you?"

"i— i didn't think you knew about them," he admits.

"i pretended not to," you shrug, sniffling. "thought if i said something, i'd lose you. i mean, it's not like we were dating, y'know? i wasn't your girlfriend— it wasn't my place to tell you not to be with other girls. i just thought that if i'd stuck around long enough you'd realize that—" you stop and shake your head. "you know what, it doesn't even matter. it's not like it's gonna change anything."

well now, he felt like shit. you'd played it off so well when it ended—or maybe he was just too high to notice—but seeing you like this… he'd be lying to himself if he said it didn't break his heart.  "i didn't know you cared that much."

"well, now you do," you tell him, before pushing off the ground to stand up. "and if you'll excuse me, i'm not really in the party mood anymore, so if you see my friends, tell them i left."

"y/n, wait," rafe scrambles to his feet, his hand reaching out to clasp around your wrist to stop you from walking away.

"what?" you turn to look at him, defeated. this wasn't exactly how you expected the night of your 21st birthday to pan out.

"i'm sorry, a'ight?" he drops his hand from your wrist, shoulders shrugging as his sad eyes met yours. "i never wanted to hurt you, i just— i wasn't ready."

"and that was fine," you tell him. "but you should've told me that. not pretended like you were taking me seriously when you weren't. i asked you so many times, rafe. and you lied, every time."

rafe sighs, hand motioning to you. "you were just so pure. perfect. i didn't have it in me to hurt you."

you scoff, head shaking as you eyes averted to the side. "doesn't mean you didn't."

"i know, i know," he closes the distance between you, taking both your hands in his. "and there is not a day that goes by where i don't kick myself for how horribly i treated you."

well, this was definitely news to you. when he called things off with you, claiming that it'd be too hard because you were going off to college and meeting new people, he made it look so easy. the words rolled off his tongue as if he'd said it a thousand times before. while you were falling for him, you were just another girl.

"i am so sorry," he says, eyes zoned in on yours. "the last thing i wanted was for you to feel as if you weren't enough for me. if anything, you were too much. and i mean that in a good way. i was too much of an idiot to see how special you were then."

though you'd waited for him to say those words the last six months, they didn't mean much to you now. you'd already come to terms with the fact that he just wasn't the one—hearing him say this now only provides you the closure you so desperately needed to move on for good.

"god," he brings a hand up to caress your cheek, and for just a second, you let yourself lean into it. "some guy is gonna be lucky as hell to get you one day."

"that guy just isn't you."

a small, sad smile forms on his lips, but he nods. "happy birthday."

y'all i think this one triggered something in me bc why tf am i crying rn 🌝

promise i'll start working on some cuter fics that aren't so heartbreaking!!!

reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated <33

click here to be added to my tag list!!

tags: @chiaraanatra @ijustwanttoreadlols @wearemadeofstardust0 @rafesgiirl @solanathascientst @10ava01 @werewhatkilledthedinosaurs @emotionsmgcbabe @outerbankspov @letmeintourheart @gublerstylesobrien1238 @deadgirlwalkingirl @my-fabulousness-has-arrived @jul1ettt @ihe4rttwd @samkickikc @ramblingsofadramastudent @maibelitaaura @vilentia

[cieloclercs]

what would you say (if i told you i love you)? — charles leclerc

PART: 7/7 (read part 6 here)

summary. in which childhood best friends blur the lines between what they’ve always known, and something more

warnings. angsty but with a lil catharsis at the end (yes it’s a happy ending i’m too weak to keep the angst up 😔) swearing as per, your bestie and charles SCHEMING, y/n being a teenyyy bit annoying but it’s fine she’s heartbroken we accept it 😚

pairing. charles leclerc x artsy!reader

face claim. tara michelle

author’s note. FINAL PART!! it’s been a long time coming (sorry about that sixth form’s been kicking my ass 😔) but thank you to everyone that has been interacting with this series! i love and appreciate you all sooooo much!! 🫶 anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy the finale of what would you say (if i told you i love you)? 💗

liked by charles_leclerc and 37,846 others

yourusername happier than ever 🩶

view all comments…

username me when i lie:

username y/n baby you’re not fooling anyone with that caption 🫠

username ok billie eilish

username y/n may be a boss ass bitch but when you’ve been best friends with a guy since you were 5 years old AND you were in love with that guy it’s gonna fucking hurt.

username it’s so weird to me that everyone says she loved him like they confirmed anything? they were literally just friends 😑

username that may be so, but when two people look at each other the way y/n and charles do there’s NO WAY they’re just friends…

yourfriend you know there’s something called taking my advice maybe you should try it sometime 😃

username erm hello?? excuse me??

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arthur_leclerc sure you are ☺️

username the SHADE 😭

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username shut up she’s still y/n 🙄 don’t be one of those girls, people are allowed to change !!

username PREACH

leclerc_pascale ma fille pour toujours / my girl forever 💗

yourusername 🫶

username hey y/n! if you are truly happy then i am so proud of you <3 but i know that sometimes say things to hide the pain they’re actually feeling. what i’m trying to say is please don’t think you need to act as if you’re doing great all the time! we all love and support you no matter what, and all we want is for you to be happy! 💗

yourusername i think this is the sweetest comment i’ve ever received?? 🥹 thank you so so much for your kind words and for checking in! i love you ❤️

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*yourusername liked this comment

charles_leclerc all i want is for you to be happy.

*charles_leclerc deleted this comment

username CHARLES WE SAW THAT

username he really thinks he’s slick 😭

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username how was it up for less than a minute and yet we literally all saw it 😭

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username he really thought he could hide from us 🙄 rookie mistake

liked by formula1updates and 107,837 others

f1gossip BREAKING! Charles Leclerc and Y/F/N, best friend of Y/N Y/L/N spotted together in Monaco! Do we smell a backstabber? 👀

view all comments…

username YOU WHAT NOW

username THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING

username i actually have no words.

username oh 😃

username guys it might not be what it looks like!! we don’t know the whole story

username well it looks pretty incriminating to me…

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username RIGHT?? i’ve always said it and no one ever listened to me!!

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username right all the fake y/n fans talking shit about y/f/n need to SHUT THE FUCK UP.

username LITERALLY the switch up is insane 🫠

username yes!! first of all no one knows the full story, and second y/f/n has been nothing BUT supportive of y/n throughout this whole situation! switching up on her now is really unfair ☹️

yourfriend this is unbelievable. f1gossip you have no right to post this without any understanding of the full story.

username yourfriend stop trying to play innocent we all now you’re a fake backstabbing skank 🤮

username username if you can’t think for yourself without trusting everything the TABLOIDS tell you then just do us all a favour and shut the fuck up 🥰

yourusername

seen by charles_leclerc and 21,673 others

responses:

yourfriend thank you, y/n

liked by formula1updates and 22,736 others

f1gossip Charles Leclerc spotted with a HUGE bouquet of flowers outside Y/N Y/L/N’s apartment in Monaco! Is reconciliation on the cards? 👀

view all comments…

username OH MY GOD IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING

username CODE RED 🚨🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL GUYS I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

username charles i am PRAYING that you don’t fuck this up i need my otp back together 🙏🙏🙏

username he’s finally come to his senses

username NOW THAT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

username y/n girlie for the love of god you better not shoot him down after all this 😔🙏

username after all of what? a bouquet of flowers? he needs to try a bit harder than that 🙄

username have you not seen him grovelling AT HER FEET for the last six weeks 😀

username tbh if charles leclerc turned up at my door with flowers i’d melt. no matter how angry i was 🤷‍♀️

arthur_leclerc FINALLY

username ARTHUR 😭

username arthur bestie what are you doing here 😭

username he’s so us

username he stans charlesy/n just as much as we do 🫶

one week later…

liked by charles_leclerc and 647,937 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername i’d say i love you too ❤️‍🩹

view all comments…

charles_leclerc thank you for giving me a second chance, mon amour ❤️

yourusername always 💫💗

charles_leclerc i love you so so much

charles_leclerc i’m the luckiest man in the world

yourusername aw charlie 🥹

username such a SIMP

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username oh he IN LOVE in love 🫠

username hold up so everyone was talking shit about y/f/n but the whole time she was actually plotting to get charles and y/n back together… 😳

username yep…everyone say sorry and thank you y/f/n right now!

username sorry yourfriend and thank you for doing god’s work 😔🙏

yourfriend you’re welcome guys ☺️

arthur_leclerc DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT

arthur_leclerc ELEVEN FUCKING YEARS

arthur_leclerc I DESERVE COMPENSATION FOR EVERY TIME I’VE HAD TO LISTEN TO YOU TWO PINE OVER EACH OTHER BUT NEVER DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

yourusername way to expose us arth 😔

charles_leclerc sorry? 😃

username CRYING ARTHUR IS SO DONE WITH THEIR SHIT

username arthur is the true winner in this situation 😭

username bless his poor charlesy/n heart 😔

username yourusername charles_leclerc LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THE POOR MAN. YOU’VE BROKEN HIM

joris_trouche it’s about damn time

yourusername ok lizzo

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username ok but did you NEED to put us through all that pain? 😅

username it’s called character building bestie! we survived the charlesy/n friendship breakup so now we can get through anything! 😃

username the first picture 🥹🥹

leclerc_pascale Ma belle future fille / my beautiful future daughter 💗😉

charles_leclerc maman 🤦‍♂️

arthur_leclerc just propose already you’ve been saying you want to marry her since you were sixteen

charles_leclerc ARTHUR

yourusername CRYING 😭

yourfriend ARTHUR YOU DID NOT 😭😭

username IM SCREAMING ARTHUR WHY WOULD YOU EXPOSE HIM LIKE THAT

username poor charles can’t say anything without arthur exposing him 😔

landonorris i better be invited to the wedding 😏

carlossainz55 me too! 😘

charles_leclerc absolutely not.

yourusername landonorris carlossainz55 ignore him! of course you’re invited 😃

scuderiaferrari Our favourite couple ❤️

yourusername 🥰🫶

username even ferrari’s a charlesy/n fan

scuderiaferrari username *Biggest fan 😉

lorenzotl congrats to my favourite sibling (and charles) 😚

yourusername love you enzo ☺️💕

charles_leclerc rude??? 😒

username i love how they left us in suspense for a whole week after that gossip post and only NOW decided to confirm it ☺️☺️

username ROLL THE DAMN CREDITS.

taglist: @cxcewg @incoherenciass @formula1mount @allywthsr @meabhcavanagh @driveswiftly13 @zzblooda @gaslysainz @be-your-coffee-pot @siovhanroy @hwienv @xoxozoedagyal @alireads27 @glow-ish @eviethetheatrefreak @nmw-am @buendiabebeta @laneyspaulding19 @imthebadguyyy @marialovesf1 @f1wintermoon13 @topaz125 @aundercover @sainzluvrr @sunny44 @justdreamersdream @lordperceval-16 @needtokeepfeelingsincheck @midnightappleade @remuslupinsbitch @taylorslovesswifties13 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @lillianacristina @lifeless-firefly @bbygrlllllll @405rry @1655clean @drthymby @ang-26 @dhe3reads @mishaandthebrits @caitdaniels @missenclod @lovely-blackinnon @smnthnclj @sofs16 @dark-night-sky-99 @c3leste888 @christcat @mariaelizabeth21-blog1 @cixrosie

thank you all so much for the love on this series! i’m going to miss it 🥲

[nicksbestie]

i know it won't work - C. Sturniolo

Summary : "part of me wants you back, but i know it won't work like that"

Warnings : very angsty. crying, heartbreak, yk the drill. nothing triggering though!

Word Count : 1000

Pairing : Chris Sturniolo/Reader (past romantic)

A/N : i was listening to this song in the car this morning, and boom here comes this fic idea!

You regretted ever moving to Boston.

You hated the city, hated who it reminded you of. You couldn’t leave your house without feeling trapped in the space that you had once adored to travel with the person you had loved with your entire heart. If you had the money, you would have moved far away by now. All you could do was be so grateful that the two of you hadn’t moved in together, because you would have actually had to leave. As much as you hated that you were still here, leaving would have torn the pieces you were already in right into shreds. 

You sat in front of the empty closet in your guest room, tears rolling down your face as you processed that it would stay empty for a long time. You couldn’t bring yourself to fill it, wanting it to stay empty just on the off chance that he came back, that he needed someone, somewhere to stay, somewhere to put his things. If he needed space that he could only find in your home, you would have space for him. He could inhabit that space for as long as he wanted, as he inhabited your heart still, living in it despite how tightly it was clenching in pain, as if to squeeze him out.

You couldn’t bear the thought that he might never come back, that you really may never see him again, that you might not get to love him again like you used to. How could you bring yourself to deal with the idea that this might be it? Your number wasn’t blocked, but it seemed like he couldn’t find a way to softly tell you that there was no chance he was coming back, so he simply left all of your texts on delivered. Despite how heartbroken you were, you knew there was no way that you could go back to loving him in a non romantic way. There were two ends of the spectrum, and you knew that you would either love him endlessly, or hate him relentlessly. You hoped it never came to be the latter.

Chris knew you were still waiting on him. He knew you were hoping he would change his mind, that he would turn around and run back to him, and the breakup was killing him as well. He couldn’t lie to himself like he could to you, he had thought about going back. He had thought about claiming it was all a lapse in judgment, that he still loved you with everything in him, but he worried that he wasn’t worth all of the hope you were saving for him. He’d paced around his room so much that he had nearly worn holes in the floor, and even his brothers had begged him to fix things, but he just couldn’t do it. He really did believe that this was the best move for the both of you, but he couldn’t deny the doubt creeping into the back of his mind. After all, it had been a long relationship, one spanning just over five years. How could he just let that go?

You’d run into each other in a store, and you’d both seen your face on the other person’s. The dark under eye circles, the bloodshot eyes, the signs of sadness sinking into your bones. Neither of you could speak to the other one, simply staring before Chris broke the eye contact, walking away. It killed you to look into his eyes knowing that he clearly didn’t want you back, an opinion so different from how you felt. You didn’t know that he did want you back, desperately, but was trying to make it easier for you by cutting things off. He wished that you would find someone else, that you’d put yourself out there, because seeing you with someone else might help him snap back into reality, help him get over it as well. 

He was torn. He knew you were still holding on to him, and part of him wanted you to let go, wanted you to move on, to love someone who wasn’t him, but the other part of him wanted to shrivel up and die at just the thought of your arms around anyone who wasn’t him, your lips on anyone else’s skin. But it would make it easier for him to realize that you really weren’t his anymore, and maybe that was just what he needed. Maybe. He had broken up with you in person, knowing that he owed you at least that, but the call to you to ask when he could come pick up his things from your place had been one of the hardest calls you’d ever received. The ghost of your relationship being inside your apartment had made the entire building feel haunted.

He knew he was being an idiot, but he wanted to think that his heart was in the right place. Both of his brothers knew he was being an idiot, to the point that Nick showed up to talk to you, and Matt was talking to Chris, desperately trying to fix things between the two of you. The conversation between you and Nick just ended up with you sobbing in his arms, him trying to convince you that it would be okay, that Chris loved you, that he would realize and he would come back. The one between Matt and Chris wasn’t going much better, Chris having angry tears streaming down his face, trying to convince Matt and himself that it was for the best.

“It isn’t going to work.” 

“Make it work.” 

You were in Nick’s arms, silent, enjoying the comfort but hating why you needed it, when your phone dinged from behind you. Nick picked it up, checking who it was before nudging you.

“Here. You want to read this.” 

Chris <3 : I know I tried to cut all ties but you’ve never left my mind. Can we make this work?

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[heizlut]

Promises

ꕀ cw: toxic relationship

ꕀ tags: switch fem!reader, dom!geshu lin, angst to smut, manipulation, rough/raw sex, creampie, oral fem!receiving, cheating, just overall toxic shit, lowkey emotional/soft ending

ꕀ nsfw under the cut

ꕀ m!list here

a/n: this might be the longest fic i’ve ever written😗

The relationship you have with Geshu Lin was hardly conventional. Both terrible for each other, but unable to let go. It was like a drug, the constant fights, the lies, the twisted love…

It wasn’t like Geshu Lin didn’t love you, no, it was more that he loved you too much and it honestly scared the fuck out of him. He didn’t know how to love you correctly even if he wanted to. A healthy relationship was an abnormal concept to him.

He was always a cold man, always harsh, always looking for something to keep his adrenaline pumping when commanding his soldiers just wasn’t enough. The sadistic side of him always craved more, relishing in the way you’d fight with him, loving how beautiful you looked when upset. It was wrong, he knew that.

But you always came back to him, that was one thing that would never change.

၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.

After yet another heated argument with you, Geshu Lin found himself wrapped up with two cute medics in his office and a large, half-drunk bottle of alcohol on his desk. His tongue was down one of their throats while he groped at the other. Sure they didn’t feel like you, not even close, but he needed to let off some steam, yet still craving the spike of adrenaline that came with the drama.

You didn’t want to stay in your shared home any longer, wanting to find him, wanting to fix things even if it was only temporary. Whenever he left the house after a fight, he was usually found getting shitfaced with some of his soldiers. So with a heavy sigh, you step out of your home and head towards the base.

The soldiers greet you politely, but some duck their heads and keep walking, knowing exactly what was going on in their general’s office. The door to the office was left open, Geshu Lin didn’t exactly care who saw his transgressions, knowing none of his soldiers would say shit about it besides give him a disappointed look.

Standing at the open door, your heart drops. The expression on your face had you looking like a scorned angel. “What the fuck, Geshu…”, your voice cracks slightly. His eyes snap to yours and for a fraction of a second, he froze.

You looked so beautiful, ethereal even, with such a heartbroken look on your face that it made his heart spike. The shock of seeing you didn’t last too long before a smirk graces his lips, pulling away from the two medics.

“There’s my pretty doll~ Come over here, baby. Don’t be mad”, Geshu Lin coos, patting his lap. But you stay in your spot, unable to move, unable to think. Geshu Lin leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he takes you in, giving you a fake pout, clearly playing the victim.

“I was just thinking about you, baby. I missed you. Don’t you see how hard it is without you?”, he speaks. Then he pauses, reading the expression on your face, “Oh, come on, don’t cry, babe. Look, I’m not paying attention to these girls anymore. It’s all over now. We’re good, right? I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Geshu Lin gets up from his seat, sauntering over to you. He leans in, trying to plant a soothing kiss to your cheek, “Besides these girls are just dumb little medics, doll. They don’t even compare to you…”

You quickly turn your head away from his attempt to kiss your cheek, then give him a sharp glare. Even with such a look, there was still pain and even concern. “You know, I came here to check in you and make sure you were okay because I was fucking worried”, you start, a tear of anger rolling down your cheek, “But you’re apparently just fucking fine with two ditzy medics hanging off you.”

Geshu Lin’s confidence falters, just a bit. He knew it would be a mistake to push you too far right now. Even though the alcohol in his system made him braver, he was smart enough to know when to reel it in. He reaches out, trying to wipe away the tear, but he stops short, unsure of how you would react.

"I'm always fine, babe. You know that," he said, his tone now a little more subdued. "You need to stop worrying so much. You're gonna go crazy." He gave a weak chuckle, clearly not feeling it. "It's not like they're anything. They're just...a distraction. A way to keep me busy while you're busy doing your own thing." Geshu Lin’s voice grows quieter, more desperate as he tried to assuage your anger as he steps back, sitting back down.

“Please, babe, don't leave me here all alone. We should go home and make up, like we always do. I'll make it up to you with my body and my mouth, I promise… Or you can stay here with me, doll. I'll make you feel better either way." He shifts in his seat, leaning towards you with pleading eyes. His hands reach out, hovering over your hips, ready and desperately wanting to pull you onto his lap if given the chance.

Tears still brim in your eyes, looking like you could break down right then and there. You look at the two girls who sit there awkwardly, clearly feeling the tension between you and the general. If looks could kill, those medics would be dead on the spot.

But then you look back at Geshu Lin, your gaze a little softer towards him. “Get rid of them”, your words are commanding but the tone of your voice is quiet. It’s a bit eerie to hear and it makes Geshu Lin’s heart pound in his chest.

His expression falls into defeat as he realizes the game was up. With a sigh, he flicks his wrist dismissively at the two girls, speaking with a curt tone, “Get out of here.” The two medics reluctantly get up and make for the exit of his office, one daring to cast a dirty look at you over her shoulder for ruining her fun.

Now that you two are alone, Geshu Lin shifts in his seat, his arm resting on the back of the couch as he looks up at you. The vulnerability fades from him and his cocky attitude returns, “What do you want, doll? You came all the way here to make sure I was okay. How sweet of you. And here I was, thinking you couldn't care less about me. Clearly, I was wrong”

His voice is laced with cynicism, but with a hint of genuine curiosity. Geshu Lin wanted to know what was going on in that pretty little head of yours. Were you genuinely here because you were concerned and wanted him home or were you looking for another fight, either way was thrilling to him.

Even with his words and his tone of voice, you feel yourself falter. There was nothing new about this. Geshu Lin would always be the same and you would always crawl back into his arms. You move forward, straddling his lap and settling against him, wrapping your arms around him and burying your face into the crook of his neck, “Shut up.”

Geshu Lin’s eyes widen as you settle into him. He didn’t know quite how to react, but he feels himself growing hard at the feel of your body on his. It was a visceral reaction, one that he couldn't control. His arms instinctively drape over your waist, squeezing you tight as if he’d been dying to hold onto you.

He inhaled roughly as you bury your face into his neck, the scent of your hair mingling with the faint stench of alcohol in the room. "Fuck, baby," he mutters, his voice a strained whisper. He didn't know how to respond to the vulnerability he was seeing in you.

Geshu Lin wanted to kiss the top of your head, to reassure you that everything would be okay, but he didn't. Instead, he just holds you close, his heart pounding in his chest. The tension between you was palpable, a mixture of anger, lust, and love.

You press your lips to his neck, making Geshu Lin’s breath hitch and his body tense up as shivers run down his spine. As your lips pepper soft kisses up to his jawline, a low groan escapes him, his eyes fluttering shut. “Why did you do this… Why even get with those girls when you have me…?”, your voice is quiet and soft, but still laced with pain as you continue to press kisses to his skin.

"Because... because I'm an idiot, I guess. Because I'm the general and it’s something I can do. Because I'm drunk and I can, and because I want to feel alive." Geshu Lin’s voice is thick with regret. "But you know what the worst part is, doll? I don't even like them. I just...fuck, I don't know..."

He opened his eyes, staring into yours, his expression raw with emotions. "I like it when you're mad at me, though. I like the way you look when you're pissed off at me. That also makes me feel...alive. It makes me feel like I'm important to you or something."

Geshu Lin’s hands tighten on your waist, an almost desperate need to hold onto them, “But really, I'm sorry, babe. I swear, next time, I'll come home to you. I'll stay away from those stupid medics. I promise." He knows his promise to you is empty, it was one he’d told you over and over and yet here you were…all over again.

He leans in, pressing his lips against yours, the kiss intense, almost as if to make amends for the night's events. It was sloppy, rough, and filled with a hunger that Geshu Lin couldn't control, his tongue seeking out yours and demanding entry.

You part your lips, letting your tongue move against his. The kiss is full of hurt, rage, and desperation as your lips press with his. This was a routine that would continue again and again, both unable to break out of it.

Geshu Lin’s body responds to your passion, his hands roaming up and down your back, gripping your ass before he squeezes it, pulling you closer. The kiss intensifies, becoming a battle of dominance, each trying to take control, your tongues tangling and dueling in a primal dance.

He could practically taste the hurt and rage in your kiss, and it only fueled the fire within him. He was addicted to this rollercoaster of emotions, the highs and lows pulling you closer and pushing you further apart.

As the kiss broke, Geshu Lin’s breaths are ragged, his eyes dark with desire. "Let's get out of here, babe," he whispered, his voice husky with lust. "We'll go home and I'll make it up to you, I promise. I'll make love to you, treat you like the angel you are."

His hands begin to roam again, his fingers slowly making their way under your tank top and sliding up your spine, tracing the curves of your back. He was making promises that he'd break again in the future, but in this moment, he wanted to make it right. It was a temporary fix, a Band-Aid over a gaping wound, but it was the only way he knew how to keep you close.

Your lips graze his as you speak, “Then take me home…” Your words are hushed against his lips, still lingering with traces of hurt and a need to reign him back in, to have him love you like you needed him to. Geshu Lin’s eyes gleam with excitement, a wicked smile playing on his lips as he nods, "Okay, doll, lead the way." He wraps his arm around your waist, pulling you closer as he stands up.

He was feeling cocky, the booze and adrenaline coursing through his veins. He can’t help but smirk, his grip on you tightening as he leads you out of his office and off the base. Geshu Lin leans a little, speaking so that you’re the only one who hears him, “I’m gonna fuck you so good you’ll forget all about this. I’ll make sure of it.” He knew that the night was far from over. He was eager to make amends and to bring you back into his world, even if it was just for one more time.

၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.

Once you both enter your shared home, you immediately strip off your clothes, standing naked before him. Geshu Lin’s golden eyes widen, his lust growing at the sight of your bare form. But the piercing look in your eyes sends a shiver down his spine.

“Come on, make me forget. Show me that you love me”, your voice is thick with tension and hint of desperation for him to make all this go away, to just love you. Without hesitation, Geshu Lin mirrors you, quickly stripping off his clothes and revealing his toned, muscular body, his cock throbbing and leaking with anticipation. His eyes never leave yours, drinking in the sight of you, his own desire burning brightly.

He takes a step towards you, his hands caressing your body, lingering on your breasts, your back, your hips, then moving down to your ass, gripping it hard and pulling you close. "I'll show you love, babe," he whispers, his voice thick with desire as he begins to kiss a trail down your neck, and to your breasts. His tongue laving at your nipples and making them harden.

Geshu Lin pulls back only to gently push you towards the bed, to which you sit on it, legs spread and with a heated gaze. His eyes trail down to your slick pussy as he takes in the sight of your arousal, his cock hardening further at the sight.

He crouches down and leans in, blowing cool air on your wet slit, making you shudder and your hole twitch. “You're mine, and I'll show you how much you mean to me. Trust me, baby, I'll make you feel like the angel you are, and nothing else will matter," he promised, his voice low and dangerous.

Your eyes grow heavy-lidded with lust and a twinge of anger and hurt. You reach forward, tangling your fingers in his silver hair, tugging slightly. Geshu Lin’s eyes darken, the tug on his hair arousing him even more. “Then shut up and eat my pussy”, there’s a viciousness to your voice, but it also hold a deep need for him.

A wicked smile spreads across his face, and without saying a word, he begins to eat you out with a hunger that’s intoxicating. Diving in, his tongue explores every inch of your pussy, lapping at it, nipping at the sensitive skin, and flicking his tongue against your clit, causing shivers of pleasure to run through your body.

Geshu Lin kept up the rhythm, teasing and pleasuring, his hands gripping your hips tightly. His fingers dig into the soft flesh, holding you still and allowing him full access to your body. He could taste the urgency, the anger, and the lust, and he fed off it. It fueled him, making the experience even more intense.

A low growl left his throat as he continued to feast on your wet cunt, making you moan and writhe on the sheets beneath you. His tongue never stops, never giving you the chance to catch your breath, to think, only just to feel. Every now and then, he'd look up, his eyes filled with lust and devotion, pleasing you as if his life depended on it.

He can see the waves of pleasure crashing over your body, the knuckles of your fingers gripping his hair even tighter, desperate, needy, and raw. The room was filled with the sound of their moans and the slurping noises from Geshu Lin’s mouth, the scent of arousal in the air.

Your back arches off the bed as your eyes roll back, moaning so prettily for him. Your grip tightens on his hair even more, giving him a stinging sensation that went straight to his cock. Your hips roll, pushing your pussy further against his mouth and tongue, desperate to regain control the relationship.

Your moans are music to his ears. He feels a surge of triumph, a mixture of satisfaction and vindication as his tongue brings you closer and closer to the edge. Geshu Lin keeps up the rhythm, now more determined, wanting to make up for everything.

He knew this was the key to reeling you in, punishing and pleasuring you at the same time. It was a complex dance, a fine line between pain and pleasure. Geshu Lin wanted to see the full force of your orgasm, to make you lose control, to make you forget everything but the pleasure he was giving you. But he didn't want you to forget this night, this moment, and the way his mouth made you scream his name.

He would make you his again, if only for a moment, in the most primal, obsessive way. His mouth relentless, his tongue merciless, his grip unforgiving, and his drive insatiable.

It’s not long before you cum hard all over his tongue, legs shaking and chest heaving. Geshu Lin lets out a satisfied growl as your juices coat his tongue, the taste and sensation of it only fueling his hunger for you.

You tug his hair once more, pulling him away from your soaked cunt. “Come here and fuck me”, the viciousness in your voice is all the same as before carrying along something primal within it and you finally release your grip.

There’s a wicked gleam in his golden eyes as you command him. Geshu Lin crawls up onto the bed, his eyes filled with lust as he positions himself between your legs. His hard cock throbs, standing proudly as pre-cum leaks from the tip. "As you wish, doll", he whispers, his voice thick and husky as he lines his cock up with your entrance.

Geshu Lin gazes into your eyes, staring for a moment before slamming into you, drawing a loud meek from your lips. His cock fills your tight cunt, stretching it to fit his girth. He leans in, nibbling on your neck, breathing heavily, "You belong to me, you know that, right? And I’m all yours", he growls, the words dripping with dominance and obsession.

Geshu Lin begins to move, his hips thrusting forward slowly at first, savoring your body, then picking up the pace, his eyes never leaving yours. He was marking his territory, filling you up completely.

He’s rough, intense, and possessive, his tongue snaking out to lick the bead of sweat on your neck. "I love you like no one else could ever love you, and I'll never let you go, babe," he said between panting breaths, his voice filled with desire, greed, and need.

You dig your nails into his back, not caring if it hurt. It was only fair your boyfriend felt a bit of pain. The sensation makes Geshu Lin hiss but his thrusts never cease. “Just shut the fuck up and fuck me harder”, you command. Your voice is rough, angry, hurting, and desperate.

Geshu Lin can feel your need, your anger, your pain and desperation, and it only fuels his own lust. He drives into them harder, a nearly violent force, the sound of skin slapping and wet squelching fills the room.

He leans down, nipping at your ear, "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again." Geshu Lin’s words came out between thrusts, his body relentless, his cock filling you with every drive. "You're the only one for me, babe. I swear it."

He continues to pound into you, his grip on you tightening and his eyes fixed on yours, never faltering, never breaking the connection. He was showing you through his actions, his intensity, that you were his priority, his everything, that he was yours.

Geshu Lin wanted you to forget the past, to feel loved, desired, cherished, and to hate and love him all at the same time. His breathing becomes ragged, his thrusts more powerful, each one sending pleasurable pain coursing through both of you. It’s a battle of dominance, claiming each other, lost in the chaos of desire and need.

You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him impossibly closer. Nails digging into his skin, hard enough to draw blood. Your eyes stay on his, your gaze piercing yet heavy-lidded. “Then quit doing that shit- NGH!”, your harsh words are cut off by the orgasm that washes over you. Your pussy clenching hard around his thick cock.

Geshu Lin’s eyes roll back when he feels you cum on his cock. As he refocuses, he stares into your eyes, a primal lust consuming him, his thrusts becoming more aggressive, as if trying to leave an internal mark on you, to be forever remembered. He was a hurricane of emotions, a mixture of lust and apology all wrapped into one.

He couldn't help but smirk, "I'll never do it again," he pants. It was a lie of course, his body tensing, his balls tightening as he felt his own climax approaching. "I'm yours, babe," he says, the words a plea, a promise, an apology, echoing through the room, his voice thick and hoarse, as he pumps into you, chasing his high.

Geshu Lin lets out a deep, guttural moan, the sound echoing in the room as ropes of hot, sticky cum flood your cunt. He collapses onto you, his body trembling and heart racing, sweat dripping from him. His breaths are heavy and his forehead presses against yours as he looks into your eyes. His cock is still inside you, softening, but he doesn’t move to pull out.

Your breasts move with every panting breath you take. The tension slipping away but always lingering. You knew his promises were empty, every word a lie. But for now, he was yours and you were his. Your features soften slightly but hold a hint of conflicting emotions hidden underneath.

Geshu Lin leans down, pressing a kiss to your neck, his hand moving to cup your breast, squeezing gently as he waited for you to speak, to break the silence, to forgive him or to not. He had laid himself bare, baring his soul in the most primal and raw way. The energy between you is charged, the emotions a tangled mess, but for now, it was a moment of peace before the next storm.

You look into his eyes with a mix of hurt and love, a small frown on your lips. Reaching up, you run your fingers through his sweat-damp hair and then caress his cheek- a sharp contrast to how aggressive you were earlier. “Tell me you love me…”, your voice comes out soft, almost pleading.

Geshu Lin swallows hard, a wave of vulnerability washing over him as he looked into those deep, intense eyes. He knew the question was a test, an ultimatum, but he didn't flinch.

“I love you, more than I hate myself," he whispers, his voice shaky, honest, and real. "I'm sorry for everything, everything I've done, everything I'll do. But you're mine, and I'll love you until you can't stand it anymore."

Geshu Lin’s words were raw and heavy, a confession, a promise, a plea, a declaration of his love, a self-loathing confession, and an acknowledgment of his flaws. He holds onto your gaze, not breaking the connection, his cock still inside you and neither of you pulling away.

You let his words linger, your heart twisting in your chest. The room is heavy with the weight of your emotions, your history, your love, and the toxicity. Time seems to stand still, waiting to see if you would accept it, forgive him, or reject it.

You gently pull Geshu Lin’s head towards you, pressing your lips to his. It’s gentle and soft, full of pain and love. His heart races in his chest when your lips meet his. He doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back, his hand gripping your hip, tugging you closer. His tongue teases yours, exploring your mouth with a need to reaffirm your connection with a blend of emotions- hope and fear, love and turmoil.

He loved you fiercely and he hated himself just as much. The kiss was a silent plea, an apology, and an admission. His body trembling, as he tries to show you through the kiss that he was sorry, that he loved you, that he'd never leave you, no matter how many times you’d break up.

Geshu Lin clings to this moment, this kiss. His chest heaving, as he tries to show you with every inch of his being that he meant every word he said, that he'd change, that he'd never hurt you again, that he'd make things right. Maybe it was a lie, but maybe he wanted to change.

The kiss was it’s own secret language, a silent agreement, an implicit understanding that you’d both try to make it work, at least for tonight. Geshu Lin continues to kiss you, his lips soft against yours and unwilling to break the connection, unwilling to let you go, unwilling to let go of the hope that maybe, just maybe, you’d be able to heal each other.

၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.၊၊||၊:･.

a/n: this apparently came from the depths of my soul, good god… see you all in therapy😃

[waywardsou2]

Post movie headcanons: Wade X Logan and the girls

I have a few head canons about Post Movie Logan and Wade regarding the movies resident children.

- It's clear that Logan's world didn't have an X 23 and if they did he never met her. He didn't have a Laura. However part of me believes he had a Jubilee because of how easy it was for Logan to get along with Laura. This might be false reasoning but it just feels right. I think he had a Jubilee in his world that he cared for a lot and he lost her. Which adds to why he was so heartbroken. Not only did he lose his family (again) but he lost a lover (I am sure he had something going on with Morph in his world) and he lost a daughter, Jubilee.

- This is why he ends up being so close to Laura. And I think him and Wade either A) find an apartment down the hall and move in the three of them (Wade's glad to have his own space but he could never be too far away from Al) or they let Laura live in that house coz it's close enough because she's still a kid but let's face it 2 people in a one person apartment is rough. 3 is a stretch and 4 would just be a night mare so yeah.

- I also think because Laura needed some mutant friends her age that Yukio and Negasonic come and visit and even stay over quite often. I don't know the comic lore but from the movies I'm either guessing they don't have parents or they have parents who don't want them. And clearly Wade and Yukio have some cute little thing going on so why would she visit. And as snarky as Negasonic is I think they love each other too. So yeah they visit.

- In the end Wade and Logan unofficially become fathers of three young teenage girls and they form this happy family of mismatched misfits. (Clearly none of them could pass as related (well except made Logan and Laura) so they always make up some crazy story whenever they have to tell it)

- Whenever Yukio and Negasonic come to visit Wade always goes to the effort to make waffles (don't ask me why this detail was just stuck in my head. I don't even like waffles so I have no idea why I was thinking about them) He makes them with fruit and buys that special cream that is made for whipping. None of that shit out of a can. Oh no, only the best for his the girls.

- At some point Logan tells Wade (and by extention the girls) about Jubilee. About how he saved her from the sentinels and ever since then she had hung around him and they eventually really bonded. He thought he lost her so many times but in the end he was able to save her. Until he wasn't. And he says how much he misses her and when he starts crying he even says "They took away my little girl" and for once Wade can't even bring himself to joke because of how raw this wound really is.

I have more but I didn't want the post to be too long so click here for part 2

[jihyocentric]

today i offer you mohyo!

-

“why won’t you pick up the phone?!”

the scream of a question can be heard from sana’s room, and perhaps even the neighbors had heard it through the thick walls of their apartments. momo was rarely loud, which compensated for sana’s lack of quiet, but the constant buzzing and ringing of sana’s phone had been disturbing her through her movie, enough to make her snap.

it was even more rare for the device not to be on sana’s hand all the time, given sana’s need to be persistently online, yet the phone was left on a counter at the kitchen, far from sana and closer to momo.

“because it’s her!” sana screams as she answers back, huffing as she finished her makeup with way too much blush on her cheeks.

that night, sana had a date. it’s not like the date was meant for her to know more about the girl who had asked her out — the both of them had other intentions, clearly, which was why they’d meet up at a club. after breaking up with jihyo, sana has had quite a few dates, all of which ended up on only one thing, indicating that sana was still her same old self, as if jihyo was never even there.

looking back to when she was still with jihyo, sana really thought she’d eventually fall for her. jihyo was complicated — but sana found her to be lovable. she was the first girl who sana called ‘girlfriend’, all because, for some reason, she couldn’t just have a one night stand with her, and they kept repeating their first night together until eventually jihyo decided that sana was her girlfriend.

now, after no longer than two months of their breakup, with sana aware that jihyo knew, somehow, that she had a date, sana regrets not rejecting her. deeply so, flushed not only because of the excessive makeup on her cheeks, but because she was angry.

momo pauses her movie, grunting as she hears sana’s annoying ringtone for the nth time. “she’s calling again!”

“sanaaaaaaa.” jihyo cries, impatiently waiting for sana to answer her calls.

she had parked her car in front of sana’s building, a familiar place that jihyo was no longer allowed to enter. despite granting sana’s wish of sending jihyo away and forbidding jihyo of paying sana a ‘visit’, the doorman still pitied the young girl, pretending he didn’t see her car parked where it wasn’t supposed to.

jihyo had been crying since morning. it became routine after sana left her — jihyo woke up, thought about sana, wondered why her girlfriend had been acting so mean, and wept until she found enough comfort to go on with her day, pretending to everybody, including her own friends, that she and sana had never broken up.

jihyo couldn’t understand why sana had left her. part of the reason why that happened was the idealization she had of sana's love for her, which was fueled by sana, who even told jihyo nobody had ever made her feel what jihyo made her feel. sana wasn’t lying then, her feelings for jihyo were genuine, and they might have evolved into something stronger if only they were meant to be. that wasn’t the case, and while jihyo fell harder, sana kept losing her interest on her.

the rejection was unbearable. truly so, to the point jihyo rejected being rejected. sana definitely didn’t mean all the things she had been saying to jihyo lately, and she certainly didn’t mean to break up with her. they were perfect together, the campus’ perfect couple. it didn’t matter if their relationship had only lasted a little over six months and that sana had been going out with other women. she is just confused, jihyo believed. sana would go back to her.

jihyo anxiously moves one of her legs, putting weight on her knee, the leg bobbing incessantly as she waited. for a period of time, jihyo has her forehead against the wheel of her car, breathing slowly as she tried to prevent the tears from coming, but the more she waited, the more heartbroken she was.

the buzzing of her phone stops, and jihyo is about to dial sana’s number again, but then there’s a voice coming through the speakers.

“if you don’t get this call, i’ll get it for you!” momo huffs, unusually annoyed.

“i don’t care!” sana shouts from her room.

sana did the extraordinary — she was starting to piss momo off. momo stands up, loudly threatening sana to tell her ex where she’d be for the night (or part of it), and sana takes perhaps too long to understand momo’s intent behind answering the call. her feet make a harsh sound as she rushes out of her room, and momo was about to take her phone when she appears in the kitchen.

“momo, no!” sana chastises.

“it’s been a whole hour of this! you could’ve muted it!” momo says, evidently upset.

“momo,” sana’s eyes widen. she tries to get her phone from momo’s hands, but momo turns around and sana ends up hugging her, still trying to snatch it from her roommate’s hands. “momo, you can’t pick this up! she’ll ruin my night, stop it!”

momo ignores sana’s pleas. “she ruined my movie!”

before sana can do anything to stop momo, her phone stops ringing and they hear a whimper. instant regret is what momo feels, because she wasn’t really trying to snitch on sana, but now she was on a call with her ex, and the girl was clearly crying from the sounds of it.

“hey, uh…” momo starts, trying to remember her name. she remembers sana used to call her ji, but that couldn’t be her full name, so momo resorts to another approach. “pretty girl.”

“sana?” jihyo rushes to pick her phone from the dashboard of the car, hands shaking. to her, the few words she’d heard had been nothing but a rhythmic pattern of sound. in her pitiful state, she couldn’t tell that the person wasn’t sana.

momo shakes her head, as if jihyo could see her. “momo. so, cutie, sana can’t answer the phone right now. she asked me to tell you that, uhh…”

sana panics, letting go of the tight hug to face momo, silently begging her not to tell jihyo where she was going. she was already trying to imagine how it would be to tell her date that they couldn’t go to their desired location because her crazy ex would follow her anywhere. perhaps sana would just have to cancel it at last minute, because she didn’t want to embarrass herself because of jihyo.

momo clears her throat. “s-she… she’s sick!” she bursts out with the affirmation. “she’s resting in bed, so she can’t talk to you.”

“really?” jihyo sniffs. she has her arms crossed, eyes red and puffy from crying, disappointed because she wouldn’t get to see sana. “it’s nothing serious, right? will she be okay?”

“it’s very contagious!” momo explains.

sana looks at her with a reprimanding face, not fond of where that conversation with her ex was going. at least she was free from jihyo. for that, sana was relieved.

“contagious?” jihyo pouts, her heart aching from imagining sana suffering in bed.

“oh, yes. very. but i’m taking care of her, so you shouldn’t worry. she will talk to you soon!” momo laughs when sana grimaces.

jihyo’s heart races. it had been too long since sana willingly spoke with her. “she… she will?”

“uhh, sure! hehe.” momo fakes out a laugh, knowing sana wanted to end her right there and then. “i have to go now.”

“okay.” jihyo sighs. “tell her i miss her. and… that i wish she recovers fast.”

“will do,” momo replies. “bye bye.”

sana steals her phone back as soon as momo hangs up, her breathing heavy from the slight fear of momo messing up built up in her stomach.

“you owe me one.” momo declares. “she will stop calling and she thinks you’re staying at home.”

“did you have to add that it was contagious?” sana asks, still mad at momo.

“i saved your night and that’s what you’re thinking about?” momo complains, walking away from sana. as she was already in the kitchen, it wouldn’t hurt to grab a snack to eat while watching her movie. “so ungrateful.”

it was time for jihyo to give up and leave. sana wouldn’t have her date and jihyo wouldn’t be able to talk to her, so there was no point in staying, waiting for nothing to happen.

no tears were left inside of her to keep crying, so jihyo spent a couple of minutes drying her face and reapplying her makeup, uncertain of where she’d be heading to now that sana was unavailable. meeting up with her friends was always an option — a way better one than returning to the loneliness of her own apartment.

jihyo checks her appearance through the rearview of her car. she still looked good, but it was evident that she had cried. the tear stains were quickly covered with powder, but her eyes remained puffy, and it would take a while for them to look normal again.

as she considers finding her friends and having a good time that night, jihyo notices someone familiar leaving the building in front of her.

“sana…” jihyo mutters.

it was her. sana, with her phone against her ear, wearing the jacket jihyo had failed to steal before they broke up. sana looked beautiful — she looked beautiful for another person, and she had just lied to her.

jihyo grabs her purse and the car keys, her heart pounding, both hurt and angry, making her way to sana before she got to call a cab or whatever the person she was calling was.

sana wants to evaporate the moment she sees jihyo in front of her. that was new — jihyo had been waiting outside, it seemed. not that it surprised sana that she would do something like that, but it was definitely not something she had expected to happen that particular night.

“i see you’re sick.” it’s the first thing jihyo says.

the tone of her voice is impolite and coated with rage, and sana considers running back inside and making momo fix the situation she had created. but sana didn’t owe jihyo anything, and so, she decides she won’t allow jihyo to really ruin her night.

“why are you here?” sana asks, coming out harsher than she’d ever been with jihyo. unfortunately, her date hadn’t picked up the call, so there was nothing sana could do to avoid speaking to jihyo.

the hostility seems to be enough to make jihyo lose her posture. it had always been easy, to make jihyo lose her bravado and look like nothing but a spoiled little girl who couldn’t bear to not have what she wanted. that’s how sana saw her, jihyo knows. sana wasn’t wrong, and jihyo also knew that, but she still wanted sana, even when it made her look like a fool.

“because you’re my girlfriend.” jihyo answers. “you can’t go on dates with others when you already have me.”

“i broke up with you, two months ago.” sana says, with her jaw locked. “if you follow me, i’ll make you regret. i’m so serious, jihyo, you’re…”

“why can’t you take me on a date instead?” jihyo suddenly asks, ignoring sana’s last comment. she didn’t mean that anyway, jihyo was sure. “these girls will never give you what i can give you. you will never love them, sana.”

“and i’ll never love you.” sana sighs, frustrated. “that’s why we broke up. i don’t love you. i never did and never will. i made it clear from the beginning that i wasn’t looking for that.”

jihyo shakes her head. “but you said you liked me, that the feeling was new to you. we were starting to…”

sana phone rings again, interrupting the younger girl in front of her. this time, sana wants to answer the call — because it wasn’t jihyo.

“forget what we had.” sana asks, too cold with her words. “leave me alone.”

when sana walks away, jihyo wants to run to her. her legs don’t move and sana is already entering another street when jihyo lets her words really sink in. they had hurt her more than hearing from sana that she wanted to break up with her, and still jihyo wanted sana.

it doesn’t take longer than another week of jihyo pretending they were still together for sana to decide that she wasn’t going to deal with her anymore.

“it’s worse to let her know i don’t care about her than blocking her.” sana explains to momo, unblocking jihyo on all of her social media accounts. “i have a plan. and you are helping me.”

“me? why?” momo suddenly pays attention to sana. she’d been barely listening to her, too busy cooking lunch for them to hear what sana had to say about her ex.

“because you picked up the phone last week and everything went wrong. you owe me something.” sana states. “so now you’re dealing with her. i’ll tell the doorman she can come any time she wants, but it’s you who’s going to talk to her. i won’t be here when she arrives.”

momo stirs the meat in the pan, considering stealing a piece for a small taste. “how would you know when she’s coming?”

“she always comes when she knows i’m going out. so i’ll leave earlier than i usually do, and because she will have access to the apartment, she’ll come here.” sana says, as if she had thought about it for long enough to have the details planned out. “all you have to do is keep her here for a while, that way she won’t follow me. if we keep doing that, maybe she’ll give up.”

“she didn’t follow you last week, though. maybe she’s starting to accept the breakup.” momo gives in and grabs a piece of meat, sneakily putting it in her mouth before sana can look away from the phone to focus on her.

sana sighs. “that’s only because we had a fight. she was upset, but she’s not anymore. it’s like a loop. she keeps coming back even when i hurt her.”

“so you’ll have a date outside and i’ll have a date inside,” momo jokes, accepting her own fate. “does she like video games?”

sana raises an eyebrow at momo’s mention of her having a ‘date’ with her ex. “i never asked. she doesn’t seem like the type of girl who does.”

momo shrugs. “i’ll find something to do with her.”

jihyo feels like something is wrong the moment her entry in sana’s building isn’t denied. everything seemed odd from the moment sana was no longer blocking her on social media — jihyo should feel happy, because now she gets to see sana’s posts again, but it’s almost as if sana was putting an end to them for good, and jihyo just didn’t know how.

it’s nighttime when she gets there. it’s usually around that time that sana would go out. sana did it every week, unable to stay at home, as if her nights out were the only moments of genuine joy in her week. jihyo never understood that part of sana — her need to party, to meet new people, and her incapability of committing to someone instead of having one night stands.

if the obsession hadn’t corrupted her mind, jihyo would know that sana wasn’t the right person for her. they were nothing alike. what she has always wanted for her life was never what sana wished to have for hers. to have a stable relationship, to get married eventually and have kids when it was the right time.

and it’s not like jihyo wanted to keep getting hurt, but even when sana told her clearly that she’d never love her, something still made jihyo not give up, pulling her towards sana like a magnet — it was both hope that sana would magically realize that she loves her and that they’d be happy once that happened, and something else. something jihyo had yet to figure out.

it’s not sana who answers the door. it’s momo — jihyo remembers her name. sana’s roommate. she couldn’t tell, but momo was sweating, because she’d promised sana to keep jihyo inside for an hour, but now that she’s face to face with her, momo hardly know what to say or what to do with her.

“ji…” momo stops to think, attempting to remember her name once again. sana had said it a couple of times that day, and yet all momo could remember was the ‘ji’. “soo? jisoo?”

“jihyo.” she smiles, sweet. “can i talk to sana?”

it’s when jihyo crosses her arms, with a purse dangling from her elbow and faint pink on her cheeks, that momo notices she’s prettier than she’d expected. momo has seen her before, of course, but never that close, and she was never bothered enough about sana’s girlfriend to pay attention to her. that was sana’s girl, after all. there was no point, back then, to give her any special attention.

but jihyo wasn’t sana’s anymore, so momo was allowed to look at her the way she was unconsciously doing. ogling her from head to toe, licking her lips when she notices how short jihyo’s skirt was, sighing when she stops herself from staring at her any further, or else jihyo would think she was a creep and sana’s plan would go to ashes.

“come in, jihyo.” momo invites.

unaware of the fact that momo had just checked her out, jihyo steps inside, nervous because she believed sana was there.

if momo had any worries about not having what to do with jihyo, they were all gone as soon as jihyo turned around, with her arms still crossed, hands rubbing her own arms as if she was cold, giving momo an even better sight of her cleavage slightly squeezed by her arms.

momo had been the best friend sana could ask for, really. she deserved a treat, and there was an interesting way momo could help both sana and herself simultaneously.

“sana is out, jihyo,” momo announces after closing the door. that way, maybe jihyo wouldn’t find an excuse to leave so quickly. “but would you mind making me some company until she arrives?”

nothing about momo made jihyo want to refuse the request — nothing but her friend, sana, who probably had her hands inside a random girl’s pants by that time. jihyo considers leaving, but she had nothing to do at home. and then she considers staying, which sounded more reasonable to her than leaving after being there for half a minute.

“…it’s because i cook when i’m anxious. and when i’m happy. or sad. i cook a lot. but sana doesn’t eat at home often and i can’t eat it all by myself, so i give everything i make to the neighbors…”

jihyo listens attentively as momo shares a story with her, on her third glass of wine, seemingly forgetting about the fact that she would have to drive later. jihyo didn’t want to stay for too long, at first. she had stayed because she was far too polite not to, but she ends up having dinner with momo, and then she finds herself watching a movie and drinking with her, as if they were on a date.

“…but the granny from an apartment downstairs has a very jealous husband,” momo pouts as she speaks, making jihyo laugh, already imagining what was about to come. “he thought i was flirting with her because i kept giving them the desserts i made, but i only gave those to them because she is nice! he was so loud telling me to have respect for the elders that i think the entire floor heard him.” she whines. “that cheesecake was delicious! it was his loss, honestly.”

without even realizing, jihyo had forgotten about sana. momo did that effortlessly, being funny and flirty, giving her something sana had never given her. a proper date — even though jihyo didn’t see whatever that was as a date. they were only strangers who shared one thing in common.

sana. jihyo was there for sana, until she was there for momo’s stories, the relaxed voiced that came out hoarsely after a couple drinks, and the bold hand subtly touching her knee, without a mere announcement or request — momo was touching her, palming her warm skin that was bare from wearing a skirt, as if they weren’t just acquaintances.

“i can understand why he would think you were flirting with her,” jihyo laughs softly, leaving the nearly empty glass at the center table. “you are very flirty.”

momo smiles, the movie long forgotten as she sits facing jihyo. her hand never moves away. “you think so?”

jihyo nods slowly, cheeks flushed due to the alcohol. “are you flirting with me now?”

momo had noticed from the moment she saw her — jihyo’s eyes were big. they were the prettiest she had ever seen, sparkling brighter the more she laughed. at the back of momo’s head, where there weren’t any thoughts about moving her hand higher, she wondered how sana didn’t fall for jihyo, even after dating her for months. it had only been an hour and momo felt like she had. or perhaps she was blinded by a filthy need located everywhere but in her head, unable to think straight.

“maybe.” momo replies. “would you like that?”

jihyo watches, feels, as the hand moves, going under her skirt. “i…”

“i love this!”

it’s amusing — momo has a subtle smile on her lips, wondering if they would receive any complaints about the noise.

jihyo was loud. maybe that was only a consequence of the lack of sana, but momo was hardly doing anything and jihyo was on the edge once again.

before momo had her like that, impaled on her cock, riding her with sheer enthusiasm, loudly whining and making sure to vocalize how good momo was for her, how good she felt inside, how she’d never taken anyone bigger, taking the girl to her room had been difficult. jihyo kissed like she’d never been kissed before, hungry and messy, as if she had no coordination at all, and now she rode her just the same.

momo coos, wanting to ask jihyo if that was what she really needed — if taking her cock was all she needed to forget her obsession with sana, wondering what jihyo’s answer would’ve been then, when almost all of her length was inside of the smaller girl who stubbornly attempted to take more cock than she could.

“b… big, momo,” jihyo mutters, reciting the only things she could possibly think about, her ex’s best friend and the way she stretched her up. “a-again, i’m… i-i’m… momo!”

labored breaths, tiny shrieks of pleasure and a sweet voice chanting momo’s name fills the room again. at that point, momo doubted that the neighbors would have the compassion not to complain about the noise, but caring about it the last thing momo thinks about, especially when jihyo was making herself come yet another time on her cock, still riding her hard as if refusing to cease to a stop.

“won’t you give yourself a rest, pretty girl?” momo asks. the noise that comes out of jihyo’s mouth as an answer doesn’t quite meet momo’s ears before jihyo is crashing into her, desperately finding her lips, and then momo’s tongue is playing with jihyo’s, as if guiding her into a brief change of pace, slowing down to be able to kiss jihyo properly.

jihyo pulls away. her hair, that had once been neat and perfectly styled into waves, is now messy, contributing to her disheveled appearance. she’s the prettiest girl momo had ever seen, truly, and momo almost blows her load when she remembers she was still inside of her. and jihyo was impossibly tight, gripping her length like she had never taken a cock before, rolling hips slowly as she recovered from reaching her peak, about to keep riding.

momo can’t think of anyone that had been that excited to ride her — she has had a good amount of girls, not as much as sana, but enough to know that jihyo was something else. being a good friend really paid off, momo concludes, if that was what she got from giving sana a hand. momo brings her hands to jihyo’s bare tits, squeezing the abundant flesh and sighing, muttering a ‘thank you, sana’ only in her head.

“you’re just too needy, aren’t you?” momo’s eyes travel down jihyo’s body, sighing when she finds jihyo’s heels still on her feet. they had been way too busy with each other’s lips before to notice jihyo had forgotten to take them off. a hand slips lower and a thumb stops lazily over jihyo’s clit, rubbing it with no effort, just so to make jihyo tremble on top of her. “get on your fours, pretty.”

it’s only when jihyo presents herself on her hands and knees that momo understands how blessed she had really been. jihyo is quickly filled again, letting a small gasp escape from her lips as she received momo again.

“s-so full…” jihyo whines mindlessly, face buried against momo’s pillow.

“that’s all you needed, isn’t that right, pretty girl?” momo taunts, in a way jihyo wouldn’t understand — mocks her for going after sana when all she needed was that. a big dick filling her up. and jihyo nods, being good, despite only being interested on the way momo held her hips and thrusted into her deliciously deep, making her see stars with how hard she closed her eyes.

if momo had been idle before, letting jihyo have fun bouncing on her lap and making herself come, she’s nothing like that when she has jihyo on her fours. she’s rude, holding her hips with little to no care, bending jihyo against the bed so that her face was kept against the pillow, ass still up for her.

that kind of treatment cleans jihyo’s mind completely, reducing her to nothing but the pleasure between her thighs. momo gives her everything she didn’t know she needed, making her helpless underneath her, clawing at the sheets and moaning prettily. she truly relishes in the way jihyo’s noises overlapped the constant squeaking of the bed, laughing softly when jihyo started to cover her own mouth, apparently noticing she was being too loud.

carelessly, momo gets so utterly entertained with the plaything she had gotten for the night, that the idea of using protection doesn’t cross her mind. not even when she’s coming inside jihyo, over and over again, does momo think about further consequences. it would be worth it, though — momo knows, enjoying every second of being inside sana’s ex and coming undone inside of her.

momo is still sleeping when jihyo leaves.

she’s incredibly sore, a result of momo’s rough handling, and her head aches as she begins to remember everything she’d done with her. the pain makes sense, considering that momo had spent a good amount of time forcing her face down on her cock to fuck her mouth and pulling her hair as if jihyo giving herself for her wasn’t enough — momo had to take.

and momo did, so hard that jihyo whimpered putting on her clothes, or some of them, because she couldn’t find her bra. jihyo steals a leather jacket momo had somewhere on a busy corner of her room, needing to cover herself and her shame with something, anything, cheeks red when she glances at momo one more time before she has to go.

jihyo was so busy focusing on walking properly despite the pain on her thighs that she doesn’t notice she’s walking into sana.

the bump startles her — sana is at the living room, not giving any access to an exit, with her arms crossed, shocked to find jihyo there.

what was worse was that jihyo looked like she’d just been attacked, from how messy she looked. with fresh hickeys adorning her neck, a hair that desperately needed to be brushed back into place and the jacket covering the wrinkled clothes, jihyo was nothing like her usual neat self.

“you… what are you…” sana fails to form a sentence.

“i-i… g-good morning! i n-need to go,” jihyo’s eyes never meet hers. she looks down to the ground, but sana can still see how flushed she is.

jihyo all but runs away from sana, and it’s the first time in months that sana being in front of her doesn’t make her heart race. jihyo’s heart still beats fast, but it’s because she’s shy, ashamed and still thinking about her night momo, not because sana was next to her.

while jihyo does her best to go home in safety, wanting to evaporate after seeing sana, sana keeps still right where she was. for minutes, long minutes of heavy breathing and thinking, she tries to understand what had just happened. sana tries hard to keep her cool, but she ends up storming into momo’s room and waking her up with a pillow being thrown on her face.

“eh?!” momo sits up confusedly. much to sana’s relief, she was wearing clothes.

“you fucked her.” sana accuses, harsh with her voice. “i told you to keep her distracted, not to fuck her!”

momo yawns, understanding what was going on. “why is that such a big deal?” she asks.

“she’s my ex, momo. my ex!” sana gets the pillow again, hitting momo with it a second time.

“but i was gentle!” momo lies, attempting to dodge the pillow — and failing.

sana seems to get angrier when momo mentions being gentle, screaming as loud as jihyo had done all night long as she cursed momo, except that now the neighbors witnessed sheer anger instead of pleasure.

“oooh, at least she’s cute.” nayeon teases as jihyo scrolled through momo’s photos on social media. “will you check the test now, mommy?”

jihyo bites her lips, still staring at her screen, hands trembling the more she saw of momo’s face. “it’s not funny, unnie.”

“but it is!” nayeon laughs, bumping her hand into jihyo’s shoulder playfully. “come on, this is hilarious. you’re having a baby with hirai momo. that’s literally the dumbest jock you could’ve ever picked. but she might be hottest too, so i’ll let that slide. the baby will be smart if they’re like you.”

“we don’t know that yet!” jihyo whines, considering to see the results of the pregnancy test, but she was far too afraid of what she would find. “and she’s not dumb. never say that again.”

nayeon coos. “already defending her like a girlfriend, i see.”

jihyo ignores nayeon, nervously grabbing the test away from the center table, holding it with her shaky hands. “i’ll do it now.”

a couple of weeks after sleeping with momo, jihyo had woken up on the verge of throwing up, nauseated despite keeping a balanced diet. there was nothing that could have gotten her sick, really. so when the days passed and jihyo kept throwing up, sometimes the moment she woke up, other times due to certain scents, jihyo became sure that something was not right — and maybe she’d even contributed to that, purposefully not taking a pill or asking momo to use a condom.

“i still can’t believe you let her come inside.” nayeon makes a comment, still trying to push jihyo’s buttons. it was for jihyo’s own good, really, as keeping her angry was better than letting her get anxious or even sad.

jihyo hardly hears what nayeon says. “unnie… it’s positive.”

the doorbell isn’t heard by momo, who’s busy trying to make boo, her puppy, keep ribbons on his head, quietly mumbling something about him going to her feed. sana opens the door mindlessly, not even checking who the person was, as some of the neighbors showed up there from time to time in order to give them (mostly momo) food and sweets, so that was what she was expecting to find.

unfortunately, it was jihyo, her worst nightmare, standing in front of her.

“not again…” sana sighs, ready to throw a speech about how she wasn’t jihyo’s girlfriend anymore and that jihyo shouldn’t go after her like a crazy stalker. “jihyo, you-”

“is momo home?” jihyo asks, rather shyly, almost unable to look at sana in the eye. she was still ashamed about the ‘walk of shame’ she’d done in front of sana out of all people, still reminiscing the moment.

just as jihyo makes her question, momo appears behind sana, curious to know who sana was speaking to, happy when she sees jihyo by the door.

“hyo!” momo exclaims sweetly, pushing sana away to see jihyo. that way, sana was left behind and momo was able to greet her properly, with a kiss on the cheek.

“hi… momo,” jihyo laughs awkwardly, suddenly not good with words anymore. sana was still there, jihyo knew, but she didn’t know how to announce a pregnancy, and the waiting had gotten her impatient. she had to say it already, tell momo what she had done. “i’m pregnant.”

at first, there’s silence.

jihyo looks at them — momo first, and then she acknowledges that sana was still there, getting even more flushed, realizing that she had just told sana that her roommate had gotten her pregnant.

“what?!” sana is the first one to break the silence.

“that’s awesome!” momo’s voice follows sana’s.

it’s clear that sana knows what was going on, but momo seemed to be thinking that maybe the baby was someone else’s. perhaps jihyo was only there to tell that to sana because sana was her ex, therefore her knowing about it made a lot of sense — it’s what momo believes at first, even going in for a hug with jihyo, as if she was congratulating her.

“momo…” jihyo calls, making momo pull away from her. “it’s yours. we didn’t… uh… we…” jihyo clears her throat. “the baby is yours.”

momo thinks she might faint. “cool. cool!”

“cool?!” sana tightens her fists, incredibly upset, because not only did momo get her ex pregnant, but that was how she reacted.

“are you okay?” jihyo palms momo’s face, worried as momo had gotten suddenly pale.

jihyo’s soft voice is the last thing momo hears before she faints — even before sana can make her, and she really wanted to. cool, momo thinks one last time before everything is black.

[noridoorman]

My reaction to episode 8!

Shh, spoilers below!!

I loved every second of everything that was there.

Nori and Uzi's conversation at the beginning was so sweet, albeit short. Bseeing that little happy face Uzi made at seeing her mom again... Man, she's been through so much and probably already thought she might have lost everyone else. So seeing the one drone she always believed was dead alive and ready to help Uzi kick some butts... Just look at her happy face.

Uzi's little laugh when Nori gave her "parental" advice is so sweet too. In all the years of her life, she never got that from her mom until now. And she finally got her mom back. It's so sweet.

Along with the shy smile and wave Uzi did, as if she's saying "Do I look good with the necklace?" And Nori responds with the cute emoticon on the stone.

Of course, that gets cut off my N RAMMING Uzi with the spaceship and oh my god, them.

LOOK AT HOW PROUD AND HAPPY HE LOOKS!! Plus, we got to see his little fangs!

And when he admits that he was mad about Uzi trying to sacrifice herself... Like, you can clearly see it in his expression and voice, he was really hurt by what she did, but also, he's happy that she's alive.

And honestly, I can't be the only one that when she first grabbed his face, I thought she was going for a kiss lol.

BUT OF COURSE CYN HAS TO RUIN THE MOMENT

I really wanna know what they said, Uzi probably cursed a lot lol

AND OF COURSE, THAT SCENE.

My god, hearing the music, the beautiful visuals... Like, the fact that "Falling for you??" is playing here and the way they hold each other and look at each other with so much love and adoration... The scene gives me so much goosebumps.

I loved how Uzi admits that she can't read the room because that's another point for autistic Uzi!

Their soft expressions, and Uzi's tiny "yay" oh my god they stole my heart.

I honestly kinda wanna know how N managed to steal the spaceship and go past J.

AND V'S BACK, LET'S GO!!

I was almost screaming like crazy in the hotel room, I've been hoping SO SO MUCH THAT SHE WOULD COME BACL!! :D

AND SHE'S RIDING ON THE SENTINEL, LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?!

The way she says "Working with CYN?!" WAS SO SATISFYING AND GOOOOOOD she's so angry, go beat up ur ex babe /silly

This scene made me lose my shit, it's so funny, why is Lizzy being shook like a maraca

The backstory we're getting between them too. So I guess both were aware on everything, but only V was the one that wanted to change but was too scared to.

The amount of backstory we're getting on J too here kinda breaks my heart and kinda makes me angry at her. The way she said "it tricked me too..." probably because she geniunly through Tessa would be alright and fine, just for her to be... not.

J is obviously heartbroken. But she feels like she has no other choice but to team up with the Solver, especially know that it is wearing Tessa's skin, that's the closest J can ever have something of her.

"You know there's no escape, even in death!"

That line makes me think as if J wanted to die at some point, but couldn't. There's so escape for her from the reality that Tessa is dead, because the Solver will always bring her back.

Help, she's so smooth and cute and akhjdskjhsfdakjsda

The way how teriffied he is breaks my heart

When I saw that, I was in panic.

All of his eyes are focused on Tessa.

Cause of his trauma

Man, this entire scene with V apologizing for everything and even crying... She's been through so much pain and keeping so much secrets to protect N, but the burden of everything kept on weighing on her.

And her face as she realized that he revealed himself because he wanted her to stop...

And just as Flesha was about to eat N's core, Khan saves the day with DOORS! >:D Gosh I wanna kiss him on his stupid face

Gotta love V's tiny smile at Uzi, you go bisexual

I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI

SHES SO AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AND AWESOME AND SUPER AND HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE NORI?? BECAUSE I TRULY LOVE HER

AND THE NIGHTMARE PLAYING FOR THE FIGHT, GOSH I NEED THE SONG NOOOOOOOW

The Solver plays soooo dirty, making Uzi believe that she accidentally killed N. Gish, her expression...

The song is so catchy my god

They're so stupid, let them get married now

MY GOD SHES SO STUPID I LOVE HER I WANT THEM TO GET MARRIED AGAIN AND KISS AND ARGHHHHH

Tumblr doesn't let me add more images at that point rip :')

I'll give a more formal opinion on a seprate post!!

[papayatori]

Lose it all

MV1 x fém!reader

Warnings: none, just severely sweet fluff

Intro: this is inspired by the song Lose It All by Sam Tompkins.. (wonderful song) Max and his girlfriend y/n have grown incredibly close in the last few years of your relationship, and Max is thinking about taking the next step.

A/n: This one is incredibly cheesy and relatively short, this is just something I was thinking about writing for a while now and just decided to go ahead with it. Enjoy mates!

You and Max had been friends for as long as you could remember; playing in the same streets as kids, having dinner at each other's houses, karting together, you did everything together. From the moment you could both walk, you were inseparable. Max's parents were family friends that lived right across the street from you. Both of them joked that you would grow up to marry one day, and to their expectations, you had both been dating for the last three years.

Recently, however, your mother had been pushing the topic a bit harder You weren't sure if you and Max were ready for marriage yet. Of course, you wanted to marry him eventually, but what if that wasn't mutual?

"You've been together for three years now," you recalled her saying. "don't you think it's time to take the next step? I'm not getting any younger, you know."

She insisted that you'd have children in the next few years, insisted that we needed to start planning a wedding.

While all of that was all well and good, you couldn't help but ask yourself if Max really wanted to marry you or not. Your mother was right, it had been three years, and he hadn't made a move to propose yet. In your mind, this equated to the conclusion that Max must not want you after all.

You sat on the bed that the two of you shared, a tear threatening to fall from your eye. You felt stupid for even thinking about this, you knew Max loved you, but you couldn't help but shake the doubt away.

You had started to reel through your memories with him, feeling heartbroken already. On your first date, Max had been trying to impress you with his athletic ability. What better way to do that than with Wii Bowling? You had been playing together for only twenty minutes before Max, who had insisted the strap on the remote was unnecessary and refused to put it on, launched the remote into your television.

After profusely apologizing, your first official date was spent shopping for another TV that Max insisted on buying you.

You felt the tears pouring now, reliving the memories of your first kiss.

Max's weekend at home had finally come after months of waiting. He had been talking for months about how he couldn't wait to celebrate with his grid mates and introduce me to them all after he had finally won his own grand prix; but instead, he had spent it playing nurse and watching over you.

"The only thing I could think about the entirety of that race was getting back to you to make sure you were okay.."

You had grown ill before the race weekend, causing your own discouragement. This was going to be your first race watching Max in person, and you couldn't have been more excited. Though, you had been bed-ridden by the doctors an forced to watch from your apartment once again.

Max sped back here as soon as he could, hoping not to be gone too long away from you. The thought alone made your cheeks redden, even though there was the biggest knot of guilt forming in your stomach.

"Go celebrate, Max. This is your first home win!" He smiled widely, cupping my cheek.

"I'd rather be sick with you." He pressed his lips to mine gently, not caring about the consequences that might come along with it.

The door to your bedroom swung open, revealing a clearly concerned Max behind it.

"Schatje, what's wrong? In a second you were in his arms, so tightly you were worried you might've suffocated. "Why are you crying?" He kissed your head tenderly.

You hadn't even realized you were crying as hard as you were until you were practically sobbing into Max's chest.

"I can't lose you Max." You could barely even get your words to form from your quivering lips. He laughed a little, sending you into a confused state. "I'm serious!" You gave him a hurt glance. "Why would I being going anywhere, y/n?" He cupped your cheek, forcing you to look up at him. His eyes were full of nothing but worry for you, that alone made you start crying again.

"It's been three years, Mum says she's starting to worry we won't make it. She says you would have proposed by now."

Max gave you a knowing glance, heaving a sigh.

"Your mother isn't the one to make that call, Schatje." He gave me a smile, standing from our position on the bed. "Come on, lets get you cleaned up."

He pulled you into the bathroom, sitting you on the sink counter. He opened the drawers, grabbed the makeup wipes and started wiping the remnants of your tears and mascara off of your face. Afterwards, he took a damp towel and wiped the residue away.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." He gave your hand a little squeeze before disappearing back into the bedroom. After a few long moments, he came back with one of your favorite, blue sundresses. You were a little confused at first, but took the dress nonetheless. You were sure Max was planning something, but you didn't know how this was going to aid the question at hand.

He couldn't be avoiding it, could he?

With that newfound doubt as you looked in the mirror, you refused to cry again, already seeing the sadness growing in your eyes as Max walked back into the bathroom to check on you. This time, he had a pair of your favorite heels that he handed you eagerly. You put them on, still eyeing him skeptically.

...

...

...

After a few hours of driving and every attempt at asking Max where the two of you were going, you eventually pulled into a beautiful grass field.

A beautiful grass field in the middle of nowhere.

You looked over at Max, praying that he wasn't some serial killer in disguise the entirety of your life. Though, if he was, props to him, he had played the part exceedingly well.

"Wait here, y/n." So you did.

You sat in the car for about ten minutes, hearing Max messing around in the boot before finally coming around to the passenger side door and opening it for you. He offered his hand to help you out of the car.

"M'lady." He grinned at you, the biggest grin you've ever seen. You couldn't help but give a small smile back regardless of the worry that had manifested itself inside of your heart. You let him pull out of the car, revealing a beautiful landscape all around you.

"Ahem." You heard Max clear his throat from behind you. You turned around, revealing a picnic basket and a blanket under one of the trees behind where you had parked. You smiled broadly at Max.

"You took me all the way out here just to make me feel better?" You felt your heart swell with joy. How had you ever doubted this man..

He took your hand tenderly, leading you over the blanket.

You both ate together, talking every so often, sipping on wine that made you feel so elegant you could hardly stand it. Though, after a while, you eventually both sat in a comfortable silence, holding each others' hand in peace. Then, Max's voice broke through the silence.

"You asked me earlier if I had only brought you out here to make you feel better.." He started, looking over at me as if to ask if he could continue. You hummed in agreement before he continued, pulse quickening as you had started to question how this would fix your worries once again. "I'd actually been planning this for a while now. I wanted to get you out somewhere nicer but, after what you had said earlier..." His voice trailed off, his eyes falling to the ground.

You felt that twinge of guilt swell back up in your gut.

"I figured being away from people and their opinions would be good for us." To my surprise, he looked at you with another one of his beautiful smiles. You could feel the ice melting from your heart. Max had started to look a little nervous.

"When I look into your eyes, the only thing that I can see is perfection. I'd thank whatever God was out there that you were mine this moment, and I'd beg the same God to allow you to stay mine for the next. You've been on my mind for the last three years, giving me nightmares every night that you'd walk away if I kept prolonging this. After hearing the reason you were upset this afternoon, I knew I couldn't wait any longer, because if I were to lose you, I'd lose it all." He wiped a tear from his eye, pulling a small box from his pocket. "Will you marry me. y/n"

You barely even gave him time to finish his question before you tackled him in a hug.

"Yes, a million times yes!" You were both emotional, giggling messes before Max pulled away for long enough to slip the ring on your finger, causing more tears to escape your eyes.

"Now you know why I never answered your question." He whispered, kissing you softly as you both watched the sun disappear behind the horizon. "I'm sorry that I worried you further, if I had. I just didn't want to give anything away."

"I'm just glad that I was only overthinking and it wasn't a reality." He chuckled.

"Like I said, Schatje, we're the ones that determine whether or not we are going to make it and how far we go. Let's not listen to anyone else about that, yeah?" You smiled up at him, a tear falling once more as you leaned in to kiss him.

"Yeah."

... I won't grow up missing a piece of my heart that you hold

... I won't have these nightmares because I let you know

... That if I ever lose you, I lose it all

~Sam Tompkins

[strongheartneteyam]

Realize where you belong.

Pairing: neteyam sully x female!dreamwalker!reader/female!human!reader

Chapter 5

CW: dubious consent, mentions of NON CON, neteyam yearning for reader, angst all over, you can see the sexual tension with your naked eyes, possessive neteyam, feelings of general and sexual confusion, mentions of sexual fluids, talks of being sexually aroused, sexual content, tsaheylu is mentioned, reader is still scared of Neteyam but she longs for him too, fear kink (if you squint), mentions of blood, size kink (if you really squint), primal [hunter/prey] kink (if you squint HARD), crying, strong language, the word "harassment" is mentioned, MAY BE TRIGGERING to some people, mentions of exophilia, indecisive reader, heartbroken Neteyam, heartbroken reader. Please, tell me if I missed anything important!

I slept a lot during the day yesterday and was up until late with my bf having dinner, watching YouTube etc and, when he went to sleep, I was restless, still didn't feel like sleeping so, I decided to edit and finish this chapter that was being kept in my Docs for way too long, it was getting dusty 😂 So, I might have stayed up until morning in the zone editing and finishing this 👀 I'm REALLY sleepy and exhausted rn, so, if some parts of this chapter don't really make sense, try to have empathy for my poor tired being and forgive me <3 I'm aware that I'm a hot mess who has insomnia and needs to get a grip and not put her art above healthy sleeping habits but what can I do? I'm one of those chaotic artists who have a hectic, unstable life and feel the most alive when they're immersed in their craft, running away from their problems, pouring their whole soul into their works 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not proofread. Me. too. tired. 💤  I'll do it ASAP! hope you guys like this. 🤍😘 comments will ALWAYS be incredibly appreciated.

Chapter 4

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

From lashes to ashes and from lust to dust

In your sweetest torment I am lost

And we sense the danger but don't want to give up

It's heartache every moment, from the start 'til the end

It's heartache every moment with you

Heartache Every Moment (HIM)

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You stared at Neteyam, at his big face, covered with stripes and fascinating bioluminescent freckles, leaving unique patterns all over his blue skin.

Even though he was kneeling down, doing everything he could to seem smaller and not so scary, to make you feel less intimidated by his size, his face was still way above your eyes, you still felt your neck hurt a little when you had to look up - straining your muscles, already sore from working too much - to gaze at his eyes.

"Oh, paskalin" (honey) "I could make you feel so good, you don't even know..." he was now even closer to you - you didn't even think it was possible but there he was, his massive frame making you feel smaller than ever. Fear of him snapping at you, in case you did something that didn't please, and hurting you was taking over your mind. You didn't know that Omatikaya boy, how could you trust him? "Give me a chance, be my mate and lemme show you how much pleasure I can give you, how I can make you feel safe and fulfilled in my arms after we make love. Like no fucking human male could ever do. Not like I would." Neteyam's fangs got prominent at that moment, and you could tell he was restraining himself from hissing at the thought of a human man having you in his arms. God, that had a name...

"Obsession." you thought

Despite those horrible feelings you were experiencing, his foreign accent still sounded weird but strangely fascinating to your ears, simultaneously. You hated yourself for feeling drawn to Neteyam, even though he was clearly stepping over your limits. You didn't know if maybe it was a na'vi courtship behavior for the male to get this close to the female, even if she hadn't shown any signs of wanting him to. But Neteyam wasn't exactly courting you, you thought. It was more like... straight up harassment, at least in human culture.

Your breath became heavier inside your oxygen mask when you thought about him using his fangs to draw blood from your skin in case you were able to be fast enough to go past where he was kneeling down next to you, and, tried to run away. With his incredibly slender, toned legs he could easily catch up with you in a millisecond and grab you, being free to do whatever he wanted to your small, defenseless human body. That thought made you feel like someone was knotting your intestines tight.

"Eywa... You're just so fucking pretty, even in this demon form, that I... I wanna do to you, right now, all I've been dreaming about, since I first saw you and you made my blood run hotter through my veins, such a fire you ignited inside me, syulang..." (flower)

Neteyam's breath was so heavy once out of his nostrils, clouding your mask, like he's controlling his urges, trying to hold back from touching you. You felt your knees weaken, fear and tension being the reasons why.

"Y-you don't want me, Neteyam. Not really. You just think you do. You're only intrigued by me because I look different from the girls you're used to. The na'vi girls." You didn't know how but you dug deep inside your chest and found the courage there to say that, looking into the alien's eyes.

Neteyam chuckled faintly, air coming out of his nose, in disbelief

"How can you say such thing, hì’i?"

"Hì..hì?" You tried to pronounce what you had just heard, in vain. You had no idea what that na'vi word meant. It's not like you knew that much of the na'vi language, anyway. You only knew the basic stuff that you had to study and learn to be able pass one of the tests that would determine if you were ready to get an Avatar body from the lab

"Hì'i." He corrected you, smiling wide and laughing quite a bit. "You're so silly and cute. Hì'i means "small in size" in my people's language. You are small, in this current physical form. But, let's talk about what's most important: what makes you think I don't really want you?"

"Because I am a demon to you, as you said. I am a human girl, not a na'vi girl." you said, rage slipping through your eyes. Why the hell was that crazy na'vi guy calling you a "demon", saying that he wants you sexually and calling you pet names, all at once?

"But you have an Avatar body. Nothing is preventing you from having your consciousness transferred for good to that body. If my father did it, so can you." The alien said, full of confidence. You wondered if he was going insane.

"And what makes you think I wanna do it?"

“My tawtute," (human) "I can smell you. I know you want me too. You're wet for me. Don't forget my senses are way sharper than what you're used to" Neteyam smiles calmly while enjoying the way your scent hit his nostrils. You felt your face flood with color, so much blood going directly to that part of your body as you felt incredibly embarassed when you heard those words. You had just realized your panties were soaked. "And, I'm sorry, but I have to tell you… Your juices smell so fucking delicious. You're driving me insane right now, yawne. I think that, at the end of the day, becoming my mate and making tsaheylu with me wouldn't be such a horrible experience for you."

Your thoughts cursed at you like crazy: "Damn it!! I must be kidding my own self!! Having a slight crush on him is one thing, getting fucking wet for him is something totally different! Do I have a fear kink, a rape kink or am I just into freaking exophilia?! For real, girl... There's gotta be something extremely wrong with you for you to be this turned on by the thought of this alien guy taking you by force."

"You're crazy! I'm not gonna be your mate! Just fucking let me go!" You wondered if you had just lost your mind to say and do that to Neteyam, being currently in your human body (if you were Dreamwalking it would obviously be safer) but you couldn't take all that was happening at that moment anymore. Your heart was beating too fast, like you were about to have a cardiac arrest. It was too much. You were overwhelmed.

You caught Neteyam off guard, the words you shouted stinged him so hard it left his very heart wounded, the muscles throbbing in pain. You noticed he seemed hurt, the sides of his mouth curled down faintly and his cat like ears were pointing towards the ground.

You felt bad for hurting his feelings. Even though he was disrespecting you, there was still enough empathy inside you to make you feel bad for making him suffer. You did not enjoy hurting people.

You inhaled and exhaled, trying to calm your nerves and, finally, you said:

"Look, I don't mean to be rude, even though you honestly deserve it. There's no excuse for what you're doing. You can't force me to be your mate. I'm not even na'vi! And don't start with that "You have an Avatar body" thing, please!" You breathe in deeply and let the air out slowly "I'm not your dad and I don't intend to follow his steps. I know very well I could die if I tried to go past Eywa's eye. Even if I wanted to get my consciousness transferred forever to my Avatar form, it's too damn risky. Plus, what makes you think I'd ever do it for you? I barely know you." You sighed, exhausted from it all. "Let me go back to my room. Please…?"

Neteyam looked tired and he was starting to feel defeated, like a soldier fighting in the front lines of a war who was losing his stamina after shooting way too many enemies in a very short period of time.

"I just wish you could…" it's like the words felt too rough against his throat, like it was too hard to talk at that moment "... could see that I won't hurt you." He sighed again "I know it feels weird and I'm big and scary, like you say…" His heart hurt at the reminder of your tough words "But I promise you - and I take promises very seriously. My parents taught me to do so, ever since I was old enough to understand their words - I would never lay a finger you." The expression on his face looked utterly serious, like he truly meant it. "Ever."

"You're hurting me with your actions, your words... the way you talk about me, about my body. I don't know about your culture, but it's pretty disrespectful in mine. I feel violated. I do think most of what the human race considers right or wrong is just bullshit, dumb society rules made up by even dumber people. But I have to agree with them on this one." You said

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, hì’i tawtute." (small human) Neteyam looked down at the floor and there was shame all over his face

"Opening my window for you was a mistake."

Neteyam looked at you with eyes filled with sadness

He got back on his feet and stepped away from you, staying now arguably a good amount of steps away from where you were standing.

"Please, don't say that…" Neteyam pleaded with tears in his eyes

"I'm sorry. I have to go."

༊⁀➷

Once you got back to your room, took your oxygen mask out of your face on autopilot and closed the window, you stared for a while at Neteyam's oddly tall figure, still standing in front of your room.

You looked at him and your heart broke. He looked so hurt. His big yellow irises shone insanely in the dark of the eclipse. But his eyes were tainted with tears. His dark braids fell onto his shoulders perfectly. He was incredibly beautiful. But why could you only let your guard down when he was away from you? When you were behind a glass and he was standing on the other side? It broke your heart to do that. But you also knew he was being too much. Too eager. Stepping over your limits and making you uncomfortable. But what if that was just his na'vi nature? You had heard before that the na'vi were humanoid but still animalistic. Maybe it was just… his primal instincts to find a mate. You wondered if maybe you were being too harsh on him. But you still felt like you could not and should not trust him. Even though you wanted to. 

You watched him walk away, his shoulders pointing downwards, his posture showing he knew he had lost that battle.

You wondered if he would come back or if he would give up on you. You felt so idiotic. Why did you want him to come back? He was not treating you the way he should be, with respect for your boundaries.

You felt so confused. There was a lump in your throat. You felt like you were about to cry too.

Your hands were cold and you were feeling anxious and your chest was filled with angst. You wanted to scream Neteyam's name and ask him to come back.  But you did not. You knew you shouldn't. It could awake someone. It could be dangerous. You should not trust Neteyam, you kept repeating in your mind.

Your feet started to move, almost as if they did it on their own, because it felt like your mind was somewhere else, like your brain was occupied with something else other than sending a message to your feet and tell them to take you back to your bed. You were lost in your thoughts. Dazed as hell. 

Once you laid on your bed and covered your body with the warm sheets, you felt a sinking feeling of sadness and guilt bruising your chest. Hot, painful tears streamed down your face and the lump in your throat intensified. Why were you crying? And why were you thinking about Neteyam Suli while you cried?

You wondered if he could imagine that you were now crying, just like he was when he left.

༊⁀➷

Taglist:

@kitsunefirewail @tumblingdevils @a-blog-name-2003 @xylobee @nerdybouquetofkittens-blog @henhouse-horrors @lala-1516 @xylianasblog @samistars @crazy4books1 @explosiongamora @lik0 @your-girl-mj @darktyrantwinner @sereisstuff @yeosxxx @die4niyahhh @iman-lu @manumanulau @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @hana-yuri @thehoneymushroomhealer @melllinaa @annaibansworld @siriuslysmoking @avatar4eva @ellabellabus07 @badbishsblog @neteyamsmate4life

[mvrkieboo]

Old Bloodhounds

P8 | i don't trust that hehe

You looked at Mark's text before looking at the unit in front of you again. B-16-12. You didn't expect that the unit would be on the same floor you're on.

You rubbed your eyes, feeling an impending headache. You also had to work together with him for the MNA Week prep after this—when he's clearly still mad at you on Jaehyun's behalf. It scared you that he was still cold to you up until now, because it probably meant Jaehyun was still hurt by your decision too.

Once you gathered enough courage, you rang on the doorbell. A voice came through through the doorbell, and you bent down a little bit to see the camera face-to-face.

"Oh, you're Yangyang's friend, right? Is that Mark's jacket you're holding?"

You looked at camera paired with the doorbell and worked up a smile, even though it's small, and it probably looked forced too (maybe because it was).

"Hi—and, uh, yeah. I'm here to drop off Mark's jacket."

"Alright. Wait a sec, I'll call for him." A beep was let out, signifying the disconnect.

You stood straight again, waiting for Mark to come out, your own nerves frying themselves up. Even after meeting each other again at the coffee stop, you were still nervous. It might be because he hates your guts now, of what you did to Jaehyun. He was always closer with your older brother anyway, always out playing basketball every weekend—it was no surprise that he got mad at you for choosing your mother over Jaehyun and your father.

But the sting of that particular day in the highschool hallway still hurt the same.

Mark looked disappointed—and that was worse than him being outright angry. You never wanted him disappointed in you. You looked up to him, you adored him—you had been nursing a major crush on him for years now.

He wrenched away your hand from his arm, not wanting to feel your touch on him. You gulped at the gesture, opening your mouth to explain your decision to Mark, but he didn't want to hear any of it.

Especially when he saw Jaehyun crying at the neighborhood shop at night, eating one half of a Ssang Ssang Caramel Bar while holding the other half in a tight grip, letting it melt down his fingers.

"My family is torn apart now, Mark. And y/n—she's choosing to live with my mom who cheated on my dad. They're moving away to Gangnam next week, now that the divorce is finalised." Jaehyun sobbed, tears rolling down his cheek as the other half of the Ssang Ssang Bar dripped down his hand.

The Ssang Ssang bar had been the one ice cream bar you and Jaehyun wouldn't fight over because sharing it had become natural to you both.

Mark can't stop replaying that memory as he looked at you.

"Minhyung—"

"Don't call me that. Don't call me that anymore. You're dead to me, y/n, you hear me? How could you—over Jaehyun? Over your own heartbroken father? Go and move away. I hope we never see each other again."

Yep, it still stung.

When you heard the door click open, you blinked away the memory.

Now you're faced with Mark again as he stared down at you. God, when did that happen? You used to tower over him in middle school and always made fun of him for it, even Jaehyun joined in on the teasing. Now he's significantly taller than you, having you crane your neck to directly face him. It hurt to know you missed out on a lot of his life.

"Here's your jacket." You practically shoved the wool jacket into his hands, coming off as more callous than you really were because of the nerves.

He inspected the jacket inside out before looking at you again.

"How'd you get up here? You need to have an access card to use the elevator." He asked in a mild tone.

"I live here, but my unit's at Block A."

Mark held back from clicking his tongue. Right. He forgot the guy your mother bagged was rich, so of course you're able to afford to live in a luxury condo like Chenle was.

"Look, for the MNA Week prep, us getting along is kinda impossible—but I'm willing to settle for a strictly professional relationship."

"Yeah, I was hoping for that too. I just hope we can work together well, Min—Mark." You bit your tongue at your slip up as you evade his eyes, cringing at yourself.

Mark froze, catching your little slip up. It's been years since he heard someone other than his parents calling him by his korean name—but you didn't get to call him by that name anymore.

"Just don't expect anything more out of this. Don't think I forgot how you betrayed your own brother just so you could afford to live in a place like this."

You snapped your eyes to his, but he was already turning away to open the door. When it slammed shut, you were left alone in front of unit B-16-12.

He's never said your name even once.

When you finally turned on your heel to walk away, each step you took further away from B-16-12 seemed to break your heart little by little. When you finally entered your own unit, you let the tears out, alongside a full blown sob loud enough that caught the attention of the people in your unit.

"y/n?"

You looked up quickly, surprise evident in your sobs coming to an immediate stop, only to see it was Geonwoo, his mom, and Woojin at your kitchen area. Woojin and Geonwoo's mom were laying out side dishes on the kitchen island while Geonwoo was washing the rice at the sink.

Their hair was still wet and both were wearing regular t-shirts and sweatpants, bandages and patches renewed—they probably just got back from the gym and took a bath before coming here. All three of them stopped what they were doing when they saw you crying silently at the door.

You quickly wiped your tears away, trying to compose yourself to face them.

"Oh—what are you guys doing here?"

"We agreed to eat dinner together at your unit for tonight, don't you remember?" Geonwoo spoke carefully, then shared a look with Woojin.

You smiled, nodding frantically when you could actually recall it now. All of you were driving back from your recent night shift when you requested having dinner together at your unit—as compensation for receiving three punches to your guts that had you keeling over the sidewalk. Geonwoo and Woojin were more banged up than you were—with shallow lacerations and developing bruises blooming all over their body, but they agreed nonetheless. Only because they had promised you wouldn't be involved in the gritty aspect of the job, but you had gotten injured anyway.

Geonwoo's mom—Soyeon—left the kitchen area and walked up to you. When she was close, she held both of your shoulders and examined you, searching for new wounds. They were always worried for your safety, especially because you're associated with them and involved with their work.

"What happened, sweetie?" Soyeon asked in a gentler tone, dropping her head to look at you more closely.

"I—I didn't get hurt or anything, auntie. It's nothing." Your hands flying to your face, their concern for you threatening to make you cry again from being so touched.

You escaped from Soyeon's hold and took a seat at the kitchen area, feigning curiosity for the side dishes they prepared. Geonwoo had already placed the washed rice in the rice cooker, so he turned around to look at you.

"Come on, didn't you say we're your loving older brother figures? What's wrong, y/n?" Woojin prodded, teasing but also concerned for you. His hand landed on your shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze to reassure you.

You shook your head, gurgled laughter bubbling up at the ridiculousness of this situation before you completely gave up. Your hands covered your face again as you let the tears spill out, and you felt Soyeon's reassuring hands rubbing your back as you fully broke down.

"Oh, sweetie." She cooed.

She then wrapped her hands around your head to pull you into a hug, overflowing maternal energy poured into soothing you.

And all it did was break your heart more, because it had been so long since you felt a mother's embrace.

prev | masterlist | next

A/N : hi guys!!! i know i said i wanted to take a break, but i feel like you guys probably want to read this story for comfort. everyone has their own way of coping. however, i do hope that statement doesn't come off as insensitive to the situation, but seeing that everyone is already trying their damn best in separating that *man* apart from being associated with the group, considering his immediate removal from nct, then he's not a part of nct anymore. period. but i beg of you to still pay close attention to sk women's struggles and stay alert to the current situation in sk too. i am and will always stand in solidarity with sk women through their struggles of navigating a deeply misogynistic society that frame them as nothing more than tools for pleasure and procreation, and i hope you do too. thank you everiwan ❤️

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

• taglist • [OPEN]

@spiderm444rk @morkiee @xiuriii @solvrse @herebyaccident0 @injunnie-lemon @dearmonamour @v-6893 @sehunniepot @bee-the-loser

[bvidzsoo]

Love Me Like A Rockstar (5)

ー☆ Chapter 5: Avalanche

Author: bvidzsoo

Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader

ー☆ Warning: cussing, mentions of suicide ー☆ Word count: 8k ー☆ Genre: university!au, enemies to lovers!au, rockstar!au ー☆ Rating: sfw ー☆ Summary: Love. You wanted none of it. You had already been heartbroken very badly once, you didn't wish to go through that ever again. But the Universe works in intricate ways and, somehow, you found yourself webbed up in a local rockstar's life, Song Mingi. He was everything you expected him to be, yet nothing like you imagined him he would be. What happens when you find mutual understanding and have heartful conversations? Will he be able to break down your walls? Will you be able to chase away his darkness?

A/N: Updateee, hehet. Now, now...this chapter is emotionally loaded, but at least we can notice some progress in their relationship lol, it was about time if you ask me. Please listen to Avalanche before or while reading this chapter, it's really important as it portrays Mingi's story and feelings in the past, so please don't skip it! I can't promise the next update will be soon because I have a deadline by next week, but if I won't be too burned out then I might just update towards next weekend. ALSO G U Y S!!!! Tunnel?!?!?!?!?! SONG MINGI'S SOLO???? ARE WE FINE?!?!?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE RELEASES T H A T WHILE I'M WRITING A STORY EXACTLY LIKE THAT???!! No, but seriously, I'm completely not fine, I still can't believe this happened BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE FIRST TIME I WRITE SOMETHING AND IT HAPPENS. Okay, I'm done screaming, sorry. I hope you all enjoy this chapter, I tried my best and I hope it turned out okay. Feedback is appreciated, enjoy now!!

Taglist: @orshii @or5i @lovely-red2 @juicy-red @scarfac3 @sunaswifes-blog @voicesinmyhead-rc @teez-the-time @maru-matt @kyeos4ng @deathbyyeekies @chicksmoothie @okokmaybe01-blog

⟨Series M.list ↭ Previous Chapter⟩

♫Playlist♫

            There was a beat of silence, of nobody moving, of nobody blinking or saying anything. My heart shouldn’t have picked up its rhythm so fast, but as my eyes briefly ran over Mingi’s tall form standing in the doorway opposite mine, I realized he looked the same as in the video I have seen on Seulgi’s Instagram story, the only change to his outfit was the black hoodie covering his broad frame—and wet, almost see-through, white shirt.

“What are you doing here?” My mouth was moving before I could think, mind suddenly a puddle.

“Picking up some food since I’m headed home from Outlaw.” Mingi’s explanation came quickly, his own eyes taking in my appearance as they briefly ran over my body. My grip tightened around the doorknob as I suddenly felt embarrassed. I knew I didn’t look like my usual self; my eyes were still red from crying, and I couldn’t help but sniff every other few minute. And I was completely soaked in rainwater.

“What are you doing here?” Mingi asked at once, eyes finally meeting mine. His expression was neutral, but there was something in his eyes—he seemed tired. Black eyeliner rimmed his already sharp eyes, creating the illusion of them piercing right through you. I suddenly felt naked under his attentive gaze, too exposed for my liking. I cleared my throat and stepped away from the doorway finally, circling my arms around my body, just now noticing the teetering of my teeth. I tried to offer my body some comfort by hugging myself, but it wasn’t exactly working.

“I was on a walk when it started raining, so I took shelter in here.” That wasn’t a lie at all, yet under Mingi’s watchful gaze, it felt like one. My eyebrows slightly furrowed at the thought, wondering why it felt like I was lying. Perhaps it was the doubt in his eyes as he looked over me once again, clearly questioning why I was drenched from head to toe if I took shelter in here, but I would not further explain myself to him.

“Right,” His voice conveyed nothing and I tried to hide my surprise as he didn’t prod further, “I understand.”

He stepped outside the men’s restroom finally, making me press myself up against the cold wall of the hallway as it was narrow, sniffing as another shudder ripped through my body. Despite having warmed my hands and cheeks with the warm water, I could feel the cold seep through my bones once again as my clothes clung onto my frame uncomfortably. Mingi didn’t cast me any other glance as he took off towards the main hall and I found myself following after him, licking my dry lips as I tried to hug myself tighter, rubbing at my side clumsily. It was my last attempt to warm myself up. My eyes were trained on the floor as they were burning, but I found them drawn upwards soon, curiously watching the back of Mingi’s head. His black hair was damp, and the blue sheer sunglass I saw him wearing in the video was put on backwards, making me frown as I stared at it as it rested against the back of Mingi’s head. Couldn’t he just take it off? Why wear it backwards? Was this a new trend he was following to become more famous? I scoffed at myself quietly as Mingi and I rounded the corner, walking back inside the main hall of the diner, the lady at the front counter looking up from a notebook she was writing in, cash placed next to it. Her eyes were trained on Mingi only, and I rolled my eyes subconsciously, awaiting her to act like one of his baboons—fangirls—from Outlaw and even from our university, but instead, her eyes held warmth as she leaned down and grabbed something from behind the counter. I found myself rooted to my place, watching the interaction—just slightly intrigued—as if I were a child waiting for their parent to finally move and leave the diner. It was silly, really, why was I waiting for Mingi? It’s not like him and I would be leaving together—yet my feet refused to move despite my thoughts telling me to do so.

“Steak with mashed potatoes and some side dishes, just the way you like it.” The lady said kindly as she placed a casserole inside a bag on the counter, pushing it towards Mingi. My eyes were glued to the side of his face, watching his reaction, waiting for his usual arrogant and flirty self to come to the surface, but instead, a small smile made it onto his face as his right hand slipped inside his pocket. Huh, that was new, I’ve never seen Mingi act like—himself—in front of a woman before.

“Thank you, Dahyun, you always seem to know what I’m craving.” Mingi told her quietly and I squeezed my eyes shut as I felt a sneeze trying to fight its way out of my nose, it burned.

“No, you just always ask for the same meals on the same days,” She chuckled as Mingi extended the money towards her, “You’re a simple man, and my memory is simply too good—it’s on the house tonight, Mingi.”

“But—”

“I already closed the register.” Dahyun winked at him and pushed Mingi’s hand back, ignoring the noises of complaint he made, “Seriously, do you want me to overwork myself?”

“Fine,” Mingi sighed, his eyebrows furrowed. My head started to lightly thump and I found myself leaning against the wall, eyes heavy and burning. My mother would kill me for getting sick for such a dumb reason as to staying out in the rain without realizing it was even pouring. Damn Yunho, it’s his fault, “But at least let me leave a tip.”

Dahyun gave Mingi a pointed stare before her eyes fell on me, suddenly realizing I was there too. I cleared my throat awkwardly as I stood up straight, pushing a strand of hair behind my ear. Mingi turned his head, his eyes falling on me as well, and suddenly I felt—so small. Both of them were looking at me with concern in their eyes, and I couldn’t help but look away as my eyes were suddenly burning with tears in them. Why was I in such an unstable state all of a sudden? My chest felt lighter, my throat wasn’t closing in on me anymore—I was fine, so then why?

“Can you make her some tea? If I’m not asking for too much.” My eyes snapped up in Mingi’s direction as he was looking at me, face still emotionless, but eyebrows furrowed.

“Of course, we’ve still got like five minutes until we’re closing.” Dahyun answered him cheerily and then turned around, opening some cabinets as she got to work.

“Okay, but accept the money this time.” Mingi muttered and placed some bills on the counter, pushing it towards the notebook she seemed to be busy with before we disturbed her.

“Whatever.” Dahyun huffed and cast me a quick glance as Mingi turned to look at me again.

“Are you cold?” Mingi asked and I tensed my muscles, trying to stop the trembling, but it was hard—and it wasn’t even working. But I just gulped and pulled myself together, walking closer to him.

“No.” My teeth clanked against each other again and I sniffed as Dahyun turned to face me, a plastic cup in her hands.

“We only have wild berry tea; I hope you like that.” She said with a smile as she placed the cup on the counter and pushed it towards me. I cleared my throat and looked down at it, the steam hot and inviting as I reluctantly reached out for it. It was embarrassing—this whole situation. I was looking like a mess, on the verge of another breakdown, because why not—my brain decided that I simply wasn’t finished crying over nothing—even if it wasn’t exactly nothing, I refused to acknowledge it. I reluctantly reached for the cup, slightly annoyed that Mingi and this Dahyun girl were looking at me like I was going to break—or explode—at any given moment. I let out a frustrated sigh as my fingers wrapped around the hot cup firmly, skin slightly burning, but I welcomed the feeling as I have stopped feeling my fingers a good few minutes ago.

“Stop looking at me like that, Mingi, I’m fine.” I didn’t mean to snap, but my tone was sharp as I sucked in a sharp breath, bringing the cup up to my lips and blowing on the hot water, the steam warming my skin.

“I’m not looking—anyways,” He cut himself off as he grabbed the bag with his food inside and stepped away from the counter, “Thank you, Dahyun, we won’t be holding you back for longer.”

“No problem, see you soon!” She said with a smile, waving a little as Mingi nodded at her, barely returning her smile. It seemed almost like there was something wrong with him, but I couldn’t tell, I didn’t know him well. He could’ve been simply acting to gain our sympathy—I could see Mingi doing something like that, it didn’t seem too far from his atrocious character.

“Uh, thank you.” I thanked the girl quietly as I slightly bowed my head and she just smiled, waving at me as well as I quickly hurried after Mingi, who had stopped in the doorway, apparently waiting for me.

His hand reached out for the handle, but he hesitated for a second, not opening the door just yet, “It’s still raining…and you don’t have an umbrella…”

I raised an eyebrow as I took a sip of my hot tea, taking a glance at Mingi. He was looking ahead, eyes trained on the road through the glass doors. The sweet taste of wild berries exploded in my mouth and I bit my lip as the warm tea flushed down my throat, warming me up from the inside as I eagerly took another big gulp, slightly burning my tongue.

“Yeah, I don’t have an umbrella.” I said, the two of us looking at each other at the same time, “But it’s fine, I’m already drenched. I’ll just run home—”

“You’re already shivering and shaking constantly, Y/N.” Mingi said matter of fact, and I rolled my eyes almost instantly, “Let me drive you home.”

“You don’t have to, it doesn’t matter.” I muttered with a shrug and took another sip of my tea, but Mingi just shook his head and turned his body slightly towards mine.

“You keep sniffing and you are clearly cold, even if you say you aren’t.” He raised an eyebrow, pointing towards my flushed cheek—I could only hope I wouldn’t have a fever, “You’ll catch a cold at this point, just let me drive you home. It’s not a big deal, really.”

“Mingi,” I sighed loudly, giving him a glare, “I’m fine, I’m not cold and I won’t catch a cold—”

Almost as if the Universe—or my own body—was having a laugh at me, a sneeze forced its way through my nostrils, loud, and an obvious sign that I wasn’t doing too well currently. Mingi’s lips pressed into a thin line as he tried not to smile and suppress his chuckle, making me grumble to myself as I quickly drank the remaining tea, feeling slightly warmer.

“Still going to pass on that ride?” Mingi quirked an eyebrow as a smirk appeared on his lips and I scoffed, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“Lead the way, Prince Charming.” I mocked, but it only made Mingi giggle as he pushed the door open, the breeze freezing as it suddenly hit me. I instantly shivered and made myself smaller, clutching myself around my middle.

“That’s my car.” Mingi pointed towards a black car across the street and suddenly he took off, pulling his hood over his head, running out into the rain. There was no oncoming traffic, so I quickly left the shop and ran across the road, headed for the passenger seat. As I got there, the car was unlocked and Mingi was pulling the key out of the lock and opening his side of the door quickly, jumping inside. I followed his lead and slammed the door closed after sitting inside, shivering and groaning at the cold gripping at my skin again, pressing myself back into the leather seat of Mingi’s car. He placed the food in the backseat, putting the keys into the ignition. He looked at me, lips slightly pursed.

“Uh,” For the first time in my life, Mingi looked embarrassed as he scratched his nape, “The car’s old so uhm—we’ll have to wait a little bit before we take off. For the engine to warm up and shit, you know.”

I hummed and gulped, grip tightening around the plastic cup I was still holding onto. I did not want to prolong my time spent together with Mingi, so why couldn’t his car work just fine? I watched him as he turned the key, but the engine didn’t start right away, screeching for a second as Mingi tried again, groaning with his eyebrows furrowed. I remained silent as I watched him struggle for a few more seconds until the engine finally rumbled to life, the sound louder than I expected. But it only lasted for another second before it settled down, the pouring rain overshadowing the sound of the old engine. Mingi went and pressed a few buttons on the dashboard and I allowed my muscles to relax slightly, noting the way I was still shaking. When will it stop? It was getting annoying. As if Mingi sensed my train of thoughts, he turned his head towards me and cleared his throat.

“Are you cold?” He asked, making me sigh as I shook my head no, refusing to admit that I couldn’t feel my feet anymore. Maybe if this old wreck could warm up faster I wouldn’t be shaking so much—and I knew Mingi’s car had zero faults right now, but I had to pour my irritation onto something instead of admitting defeat in front of him, “You’re very obviously cold, Y/N.”

I scoffed and my eyes snapped to him as he suddenly leaned more towards me, reaching for something in the backseat of the car, “If it’s so obvious, Mr. Obvious, do something about it—”

My mouth clamped shut the second Mingi was holding a black denim jacket in his hand with a lopsided smile, extending it towards me, “I am doing something about it, here, wear it.”

He let it fall into my lap before I could refuse him and suddenly my cheeks were on fire—and not from the cold. I cleared my throat loudly and averted my gaze as Mingi settled back into his seat with a small grin, watching me as I rolled my eyes, fumbling with the heavy jacket he had given me. I didn’t want to wear it—that was the last thing I actually wanted to do, but a violent shiver racked through my body and I was suddenly moving faster than lightning, groaning as my clothes were still stuck against my body. It was a horrible feeling, but at least Mingi’s seats were leather, easier to clean. I pulled the black denim jacket around my shoulders before putting each arm through the sleeves, trying to ignore Mingi’s eyes on me, and the amused smile he had on his face. It wasn’t funny—but it was probably entertaining to him. I wonder how many girls he took home like this before me, letting them wear his jacket only to flirt with them afterwards as a means of getting to sleep with them. Men were easy, and Mingi was one of them. I could see right through his bullshit, and so, despite the warmth and masculine scent enveloping my senses, I gave Mingi a sharp glare, making him chuckle.

“You’re so predictable,” He said quietly, almost as if to himself, but I heard him, and I scoffed, “You won’t thank me, right?”

“I’m still cold.” I evaded his question instead, giving him a look, but Mingi just giggled, the sound low and deep inside his chest. I watched as his features relaxed and found my heart beating faster once again as I realized that I was enclosed in a tiny space with him, barely a few feet away from each other. There was something different about Mingi all of a sudden as he threw his head back, sighing loudly and gripping the wheel. His eyes fluttered close and I couldn’t will myself to look away, suddenly curious of the man sitting next to me. Who was he? Why was he like this? But the confusing butterflies deep inside my stomach sent me into distress, and I averted my eyes as Mingi opened his, and realized it was becoming suffocating. The silence. I didn’t like it. Mingi wasn’t saying anything, the engine was still dully rumbling and the rain was hitting the roof of the old Honda Prelude loudly. It didn’t feel as restricting as earlier, but my throat was squeezing in on itself and without asking for permission, I reached forward and pressed a button on the stereo, turning the radio on.

The instrumental wasn’t something I have heard before, and the harsh beat of the drums resounded in the car loudly, making my heart jump. Soon, the drum was accompanied by the lively but soft melody of the guitar, guiding it through. It felt like a storm, the loud and harsh beats of the drums lead by the soft yet determined guitar. It was almost as if two sides of the coin were leaning on each other for support—almost as if one was desperate to be shown some light in the darkness. I saw Mingi shift in the corner of my eyes, and I was startled at the intense look in his eyes as he looked at me, lips parted and eyebrows drawn up. He seemed surprised but at the same time almost angry, it was a look I couldn’t read well yet. I didn’t understand why he was looking at me like that. Suddenly, the drums slightly softened, until they became silent, and the guitar guided the melody smoothly, bringing it a comforting feeling. Mingi and I were still looking at each other and I was about to ask why he was looking at me like that, but suddenly the raspy, yet warm, voice resounding in the car took me off guard as my eyes widened, leaving me gaping at Mingi.

『Cut me open and tell me what's inside

Diagnose me 'cause I can't keep wondering why

And no, it's not a phase 'cause it happens all the time

Start over, check again, now tell me what you find

'Cause I'm going out of frequency

Can anyone respond?』

His voice was smooth as the drums and guitar accompanied it, dropping lower at times and feeling like the caress of a whisper at the same time. Mingi’s face had turned emotionless once again as his eyes locked with mine, and I tried to give him a glare, but my mind was focused on the words he was singing—on the message behind his lyrics.

『It's like an avalanche, I feel myself go under

'Cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck

I never stood a chance, my heart has frozen over

And I feel like I am treading on thin ice』

The beat picked up again, the drums louder as the melody grew more aggressive, Mingi’s voice reflecting it and gliding with it. His voice was powerful and held sincerity as he sung, his words ringing through my mind as the raspiness of it became more hearable. I couldn’t hold Mingi’s gaze anymore and I swiftly turned my head, playing with the cup I had in my hands as I gulped, the melody slowing down once again.

『Am I broken? What's the chance I will survive?

Don't sugarcoat me 'cause I feel like suicide

Just give it to me straight, 'cause I'm running out of time

I need an antidote, now what can you prescribe?』

My eyebrows furrowed the longer I listened to his words, wondering if this is what he actually felt like. Wondering when he wrote this song. Wondering why and how was Mingi hiding such feelings locked away in himself, in a way that nobody would be able to see the real him. Why were his words so relatable and why did I suddenly find myself teary eyed, biting my lower lip to try and get a grip of myself again.

『It's like an avalanche, I feel myself go under

'Cause the weight of it's like hands around my neck

I never stood a chance, my heart has frozen over

And I feel like I am treading on thin ice, and I'm going under』

I wonder who made him feel like that. Who had hurt Mingi so much that he felt like he was on the verge of giving it all up. Did he still feel like that? Were the two of us not so much different from each other after all? I sniffed, turning my head to look out the window instead, scared that if I hung my head down the tears would actually fall.

『I need a cure for me 'cause the square doesn't fit the circle

Give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world

I need a cure for me 'cause the square doesn't fit the circle

Give me a remedy 'cause my head wasn't wired for this world』

My grip around the cup tightened and I heard Mingi shift in his seat again, but I didn’t turn around to look at him. Emotions and thoughts of all sorts were whirling in my head, and I couldn’t stop thinking. I haven’t really paid attention to what he sings in his songs before—not that I had many occasions to do so—but this one suddenly felt so familiar, as if there was at least one person in the world who understood my struggles too. I’ve had low points in life before, especially after Yunho left me, and I really felt like there was no way out for me. I didn’t know how to cope and what to do with myself, I became uncaring and closed myself off to the world, only talking to those necessary, and barely doing anything if I could. That was the only time in my life when my art didn’t help at all, when I couldn’t pick up my pencil out of fear of what my mind would conjure up to torment me with. My life revolved around Jeong Yunho, and I knew because of missing him, he would be the only thing I would be drawing. He was my muse, and I hated it for such a long time not realizing that it was in some twisted way helping with getting over him. I have memorized every single feature and flaw of his, knowing it by heart. It was freeing when I was able to highlight all the things I knew he hated about himself, it made it easier for me to remind myself that he wasn’t as perfect as I thought he was. It was just the idea I had created of him in my head.

My fingers were tapping against the cup, following the rhythm of the song as Mingi’s beautiful voice carried on singing, the melody wrapping me up in my thoughts, almost getting lost to the point where I wasn’t paying attention to the song anymore. But it was actually impossible to do that, Mingi had a way to keep you focused on himself even if he was just simply singing, his raspy and warm voice keeping you in a vice grip, making you yearn for more. As the song came to an end, I released a breath I didn’t even realize I had been holding. Mingi was swift as he leaned forward and turned off the stereo, clearing his throat loudly. For a few more seconds nothing was said between the two of us, silence enveloping around us once again. But I didn’t feel uncomfortable anymore, I felt—almost sad, but mostly curious of the making of this song. Of what prompted Mingi to write it. Why were his emotions so raw in this, and who caused him to feel like this.

“It wasn’t bad,” I found myself speaking up, not really thinking through my words first, “you’re not too bad at this, Mingi.”

I didn’t expect him to laugh, and as I turned my head, he was already looking at me with an amused look on his face, covering his mouth as his laughter got louder for a second. My eyebrows furrowed, and I was about to say something less nice to him, but I realized my compliment sounded oddly similar to the one I had gotten from him back at the library. Despite fighting against the smile wanting to appear on my lips, I quickly let out a chuckle, our eyes with Mingi connecting. Despite the depth of the song and the somber atmosphere it created, Mingi seemed to be almost ecstatic as he shrugged, drumming his fingers against the wheel. Subconsciously, I nuzzled further into the collar of the denim jacket, the cologne stronger as I inhaled it, reminded that I was wearing Mingi’s jacket. I didn’t miss the way a fond smile appeared on his face for a few moments, quickly disappearing as he cleared his throat and looked ahead, pressing some other buttons on the dashboard.

“Thank you, getting a compliment from a fine arts genius certainly feels like I have won a Grammy or something.” I scoffed and rolled my eyes as Mingi chuckled, grinning at me for a second before he turned his body fully towards me, taking me off guard, “I wrote this song a long time ago, when—well, there’s nothing to hide here, when Yunho left for college. When I—remained alone at home, here in this town. Nothing was set in stone yet, to be honest, I had absolutely no idea what to do with my life back then. I was eighteen and I was confused and scared. The pressure of figuring out what you wanted to do with your life at such a young age was frightening and breaking me down, to be honest. I’ve always struggled mentally—you know, with depression and anxiety—and I think that period of time was the lowest I had ever been.”

I was soaking in every word Mingi was saying, mind silent and eyes focused on him, wanting to hear more as he continued talking, “Yunho was always the stronger one between the two of us and he always knew from a young age what he wanted to do, so when I realized I hadn’t planned my future ahead like him, I lost myself. And he—left, to college—in a different city. Hours away, leaving me all alone. I know I might sound dramatic, but I don’t deal well with change. I never have and I never will, I’m afraid. It took me almost a year to finally get used to living alone and sometimes I still struggle, it’s really frustrating. So you can imagine how badly I took my best friend, whom I have never been separated from before and we’ve known each other since kindergarten, leaving and abandoning me in the small town I have always hated and had no future in. I fell into deep depression and nothing was helping, like at all. Not even Yunho returning home out of the blue after two weeks of no contact on my part. When he saw the state I was in, we—we cried for hours, Y/N. It was horrible. I hate making him feel like that, because it wasn’t his fault, it was all mine.”

My eyebrows furrowed and my heart clenched upon hearing Mingi’s words, quietly letting out a breath which felt like it was restricting my lungs. In this moment, I heard my own thoughts and feelings in Mingi. His struggles and pain, I understood them. My fingers crushed the cup accidentally, but thankfully Mingi didn’t seem to notice as he took a deep breath and continued, “I wanted to kill myself. If Yuyu wouldn’t have come home in that exact moment—I don’t think we’d be having this conversation right now.”

My eyebrows furrowed and without really thinking, my left hand reached over the center console and I found myself gripping Mingi’s right hand, his skin so much hotter than mine. He bit his lower lip, eyebrows twitching as he averted his gaze all of a sudden, turning his hand upwards so that my fingers could slip over his palm. It was weird how easily my skin tingled at the contact; thoughts silent for once.

“He suggested I find a way of getting these thoughts and feelings out of myself. And after he left once again I knew I had to do something unless I planned on completely losing my mind, so…I took a pen and paper and started writing. Everything I felt, everything I thought. And miraculously, it worked. Slowly, of course, but it started working. I found a good therapist as well and suddenly I could see a way out of this dark cloud hung up around my head, fogging my thoughts up. I searched for a beat on YouTube and realized I could turn these thoughts and feelings into music. And they didn’t even sound bad, but what was most important was that I enjoyed doing it. I felt free, I felt like I could finally say anything I ever wanted. And I knew if this helped me, then it would help others as well, let them know they weren’t alone, and that you can go on even if it seems like you can’t. I wrote this song right before signing up to our university and sent it in as a sample. I was granted access to the studious a week later, and two weeks later accepted to the university. It’s probably one of my happiest memories, especially since Yunho surprised me that day by coming home and celebrating it with me.”

As Mingi was done talking, silence settled between the two of us. Comforting, understanding. I looked down at my lap, mind a whirlwind of thoughts all of a sudden, threatening to rush out at once. The sudden thumb sweeping against my knuckles made me slightly tense, realizing that I was completely holding hands with Mingi. My cheeks burned all of a sudden and my heart jumped, yet despite my thoughts telling me to pull my hand out of his, I didn’t move just yet. The feeling—wasn’t so bad.

“My sketchbook—the one you flipped through without my permission—” I sent Mingi a small glare as he snorted, cutting me off for a second, “is like my journal. I doddle in it daily, sometimes I even write little messages next to the sketches, noting down the things on my mind or just simply how my day went. When I draw, my mind is completely silent, I feel at ease. There’s nothing bothering me and I don’t have to worry in that moment of what the next line will illustrate or what the overall drawing will be. My thoughts are often too loud and I get overwhelmed by them, it’s hard to ignore them, you know? But by drawing, I can escape them and free myself even for a little while, it’s similar to what you must feel when you write music. Just letting go and releasing everything you feel.”

Mingi’s eyes were warm and soft as a small smile appeared on his lips, his skin suddenly burning mine and as my heartbeat showed no signs of slowing down, so, I carefully slipped my hand out of his, turning ahead and staring out at the pouring rain, feeling exposed and too small, “I understand what it must’ve felt like going through all of that. There was a time in my life, when—my whole world revolved around one person only and when—when he left, I thought I would die. I didn’t want to continue on living, to be completely honest. But with time, and thanks to my mother and Seulgi, I built myself back up. It’s fine now—I mean, I’m fine now.”

Mingi just hummed and I could feel his gaze on me as I leaned forward in the seat, rubbing my face as I felt fatigue settle over my whole being. At least I wasn’t shaking anymore, the car had warmed up significantly and my clothes weren’t sticking to my skin so violently anymore.

“Everyone has their story, Y/N.” Mingi spoke up, and I could hear the smile in his voice, “And it was very obvious to me that your attitude towards me is just a defense mechanism—”

“Oh, don’t get too cocky now that I’ve shared something so insignificant from my life.” I snapped as I turned my head, giving him a small glare. Mingi chuckled, holding his hands up in a way that said he wasn’t trying to attack me.

“I don’t think it’s insignificant—”

“Mingi.”

“Tell me something…” He trailed off and I sighed loudly, not in the mood to converse anymore. I wanted to go home, “Are those eyes really Yunho’s in your sketchbook? Because I really don’t think they are. I mean, I know what my own eyes like look and—”

“Whatever, they are yours, okay?” I snapped defensively as I crossed my arms in front of my chest, cutting Mingi off. I knew I should’ve never confessed to him that those were indeed his eyes, because now the shit eating grin he had on his lips and the way his eyes sparkled weren’t worth it. Not when my cheeks felt on fire, and I knew it wasn’t from the warmth inside the car.

“I knew it!” He said triumphantly, giggling a little, making me role my eyes.

“Just because you have pretty eyes doesn’t mean I’m in love with you.” I scoffed and suddenly Mingi froze, staring at me like I said something wrong. I raised my eyebrows at him in question.

“I never said you were in love with me.” Shit. I scoffed and rolled my eyes again, giving him a deadpan look.

“Very well, can’t have you thinking that now that you know those are your eyes.” Mingi laughed, again, as he playfully leaned towards me, making my glare deepen.

“So, you think I’m pretty?” He bit his lower lip and my brain blanked for a second as my eyes ran over his face quickly, taking in his features. Yes, he was very pretty—what the fuck?!

“Just because you have features which are easy to draw, Mingi, doesn’t mean I think you’re pretty. Have I told you already that you’re self-absorbed?” I raised my eyebrows mockingly as I clicked my tongue and Mingi chuckled as he faced forward, turning on the windshield wipers.

“Yes, quite a few times, actually.” I scoffed, putting on my seatbelt when I saw Mingi doing the same.

“Just take me home.” I muttered as I turned my head and looked out the window.

“Tell me your address first.” Mingi’s tone was playful as he turned on the stereo again, this time a channel of a radio playing music in Mingi’s vintage car as he slowly drove off.

            After arriving home I had taken a very long and very hot shower, letting my body stay under the stream for a long time, probably making my mother think that I was drowning. I could feel my muscles finally relaxing, the shivers completely gone from my body as I dressed into my warmest pajamas once I got out of the shower, blow-drying my hair quickly, eager to get underneath my warm blanket. Thankfully my mother wasn’t angry at all by the time I got home, she was waiting for me with two mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows, and a big hug. She didn’t want to tell me where her sudden affection was coming from, but she said she knew there was something wrong, and that I could go to her the next time I’m struggling. It’s funny how she always knows what the problem is, yet I don’t want to burden her furthermore with my own dramatic emotions.

After drinking the hot chocolate and having a laugh with my mother over the comedy show she was watching in her room, I finally retreated to my own room, under the oh, so warm blanket. I couldn’t help but sigh contently and nuzzle even further into the pillow under my head, grateful to be finally able to rest. But as if the Universe was out against me tonight—and it probably was hence the shitshow today was—sleep never came to me. I was beyond tired, yet I couldn’t sleep. I felt slightly restless, as if I had to do something and I wouldn’t be able to rest until I have done it—and that was drawing. The image in my head was begging for me to be released onto a blank canvas, but I wished it could wait until tomorrow—but it couldn’t, so, with a loud sigh, I sat up and turned on my lamp. The sketchbook was bigger than the one I use as a journal since I rarely use it outside of class, but for what I wanted to draw tonight I needed the bigger one. I flipped it open to a new page and grabbed my pencil, twirling it around my fingers as I sectioned the blank paper, searching for the right angle to start the drawing.

First, I settled on drawing the outlines with faded lines, the background not the most important but since it played a part in the spacing of the drawing, I had to start with that. I went and first did the outline of the car from the inside, adding shading to show where the streetlamps couldn’t reach as the car drove down the empty road, gloomy clouds raining down on us, making the roads slippery and reducing visibility, but Mingi was an attentive and calm driver as he hummed and nodded his head to the beat of the music playing on the radio. His jaw was set and eyes focused up front, on the road, eyebrows ever so slightly furrowed and lower lip quite often between his teeth as he bit into the supple flesh, his lips cherry colored and plump. His jawline long, and sharp; and cheekbones well defined, yet not too sharp; his brow bone more forward, giving him an intimidating look from the side with his eyebrows drawn together. His nose, tall, and long, and pointy—too pretty. I cleared my throat and shook my head, focusing on drawing the rest of Mingi’s features and willing my brain to shut up about whether Mingi was pretty or not—he wasn’t. I couldn’t help but draw the sunglasses he wore so hideously backwards, ruining his overall nice look, making me grimace as I darkened his hair by adding more shading to it. I illustrated the shadows falling over his face as well, his gaze slightly obscured from my view. His long fingers gripped the wheel tightly, the gemstones of his rings glinting whenever the light fell on it in a peculiar way, and I couldn’t help but recall the feeling of his skin against mine as drew the lines defining the muscle of his hands. Just as I went to draw his neck, my phone pinged, slightly startling me as it was loud. It was placed on my nightstand and I groaned as I had to lean over half of my bed to reach it. And as I took my phone into my hands, my heart skipped a beat.

I hate him: are u asleep?

I glanced at the clock and realized it would be soon midnight, I had to get this drawing done and then go to sleep as I had class early in the morning tomorrow. Besides, I didn’t want to talk to Mingi. Why was he texting me? Just because we shared a few sappy stories about ourselves doesn’t mean that we have suddenly become best friends, sharing even more life stories with each other—and most certainly Mingi had no business texting me this late at night. With a huff, I let my phone fall next to me as I continued to draw, focusing on my creation instead. Drawing the neck was easy and quick and I focused on adding little details to it instead, the silver chains he had hanging against his neck tonight, peeking through the collar of his black hoodie. I continued drawing the rest of his body, his arms and torso as well as I could as they weren’t too essential to the drawing as of now. I only wanted to draw Mingi’s profile as he drove, the darkness combined with the streetlamps casting beautiful shadows over his flawless face. But drawing Mingi, knowing that Mingi had texted me all of a sudden felt weird, and I sighed as I dropped my pencil, grabbing my phone again as I unlocked it. He had sent the message five minutes ago, that was enough time for him to fall asleep so even if I text him he’ll only see this in the morning and if he’ll answer I won’t have to text him back anymore—because I didn’t want to be texting with Mingi, at all.

Me: no. u?

As I went to close my phone, his reply came instantly, leaving me surprised. There goes my plan of Mingi being asleep and not having to talk to him tonight…

I hate him: nope, why aren’t u sleeping? Me: i can’t sleep. u?

I chewed on my bottom lip as I shuffled around for a second to be able to sit cross legged in my bed.

I hate him: yeah, same. the rain makes it hard for me to sleep…i hate rain, actually, especially the thunder.

I almost went ahead and typed back that I knew, but Mingi wasn’t supposed to know that. Mingi had no idea Yunho and I had dated back in highschool—Mingi had no idea how much I actually knew about him due to Yunho, and I intended on keeping that a secret from him. I didn’t want to wake up old ghosts in my heart which would bring pain once again.

Me: ig i’m fine with rain as long as i’m somewhere inside, but the humidity kills me. it’s the winter time i actually hate…i can’t deal with cold weather, i get easily sick…

I rubbed my forehead as I pressed send and sighed as I lowered my phone into my lap, suddenly aware of the weird butterflies in my stomach, making me almost nauseous. As I glanced back down at my phone, the three bubbles signaling that Mingi was typing back appeared, and I had to take a deep breath to settle my erratic heartbeat. What was happening? Why was my body reacting in such a weird way?

I hate him: oh, yeah, i totally get the winter thing as someone who loves dressing light. i feel like i am more myself in the summer time lol; my style rocks during the summer and then gets okay-ish during the winter, it’s sad actually…

I chuckled and smirked as I quickly typed back.

Me: why? cuz you can’t show off your biceps during the winter? I hate him: ha-ha aren’t u so funny tonight?   Me: i’m always funny, mingi…

I couldn’t help but chuckle as I quickly sent the message despite Mingi still typing.

I hate him: u wish u were always funny, doll…if someone’s funny then that person is me, y/n Me: yeah, right, u wish, prince I hate him: aren’t u just in a delightful mood tonight, doll?

I scoffed but couldn’t fight off the amused smile from my lips.

Me: it’s all thanks to you, idiot I hate him: i think I prefer u calling me prince, actually… Me: u wish, idiot. I hate him: anyways, what’s your favorite season?

I raised an eyebrow as I read the text from Mingi.

Me: interesting question I hate him: well u said u didn’t like winter, so what do you like then? Me: not u, that’s for sure…

I couldn’t help but cackle at my own reply, feeling proud of myself over such little thing. I could imagine Mingi chuckling and shaking his head at it, perhaps glaring down at his phone.

Me: autumn or spring, really…not too cold nor too warm, in-between, just perfect u know?

There was a second of nothing until the bubbles popped up again, making me realize I was smiling down at my phone, so I quickly cleared my throat and got it together. There was nothing to be smiling at here.

I hate him: i get it, those seasons are really pretty…talking of pretty…do you really think i’m pretty?

I couldn’t help the loud scoff which left my lips at the same time as I rolled my eyes, very tempted to leave him on read and just go to sleep right then and there.

Me: i have already told you, mingi, i don’t think u are pretty because u a r e n ‘t, get it???

The reply was instant.

I hate him: hahahahahahaha; u are cute!

My body froze for a second, eyebrows furrowing as I reread his reply. What the fuck? Me? Cute? Yeah, sure, cute my ass—this idiot was testing my patience and kindness, once again.

Me: u’re disgusting, I’m blocking u I hate him: whatever u say, gorgeous, I know u a r e n ‘t!!!

My jaw clenched at the blatant mocking and I scoffed loudly as I looked ahead, glaring at nothing particular as my blood was boiling. He really thought I wouldn’t block him? There was nothing holding me back from doing so—suddenly the bubbles appeared again, and I looked down at my phone—just slightly curious.

I hate him: sorry if that was too much, i was just joking. i wanted to ask something all night, but i just didn’t know whether the timing was right or not or just whatever, but…are u okay? like…do you feel okay?

I gulped, my anger dissipating like it never even happened, leaving me confused. Was he now worried about me? Why would he be?

Me: i’m ok, why?

It took a little time for Mingi to answer, and it made me gulp as I read it.

I hate him: bcz your eyes were red when we met in front of the restrooms and idk…u just kinda felt off or smth…i just wanted to make sure. Me: i had a rough day, but i’m fine… thanks for asking ig… I hate him: ofc, anytime

Did he mean that? I couldn’t help but wonder. But there were so many things about Mingi that I didn’t know yet and…something changed tonight. I couldn’t completely hate him like before. The conversation we had in his car, the things he willingly shared with me were so personal and hard, yet he trusted me with them. I couldn’t help but feel good about it, thankful in a way, that despite my demeanor he still found me worthy of knowing about his past—of knowing of the backstory of said song we have listened to. I thought Mingi was all smirks and a cocky attitude, nothing in that empty and self-centered brain of his—yet he pretty much proved me wrong today, and for some reason I didn’t seem to mind too much. I couldn’t help but bite my lower lip as I looked down at my phone, realizing that it was past midnight now, I had to go to sleep.

Me: goodnight, i have classes early in the morning… I hate him: sweet dreams, y/n…see u at uni.

『I'm going out of frequency

Can anyone respond?

'Cause I'm going out of frequency

Can anyone respond?』

❱❱ Next chapter

[itzsana-kiddingmenow]

𝙨𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙡𝙚𝙚! 𝙝𝙖𝙣 — 𝙙𝙖𝙮 3: 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙖𝙣:

𝖜𝖔𝖗𝖉𝖘: 1.2k

𝖑𝖊𝖊: han

𝖑𝖊𝖗: changbin and hyunjin

𝖆/𝖓: mah favorite for @hearted-anon

𝖙𝖜: pinning, no restraints, rough and soft tickles, angst cause mah wife likes it.

𝖙𝖆𝖌𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙: @someone-who-loves-kpop-saranghae @jeonginsdiary @leeknowstan33 @v--143 @wereallgonnadieonedaybutnottoday @inkytornpagess @lajanaa @a-wild-seungberry @channieissocute125 @soap143 @seungsluvv @skznccmlee @moony-9 @sunny-117

𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐞? 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐮𝐛s 🐾

“Okay okay okay GUYS!! I HAVE A JOKE!!” Hannie called out happily, a wide smile gracing his pretty features. 

“Did it make you laugh? Let’s hear it.” Chan clapped his hands, smiling at the quokka, who’s energy levels were off the chart that day. 

“What do you call two spiders that just got married?” Jisung giggled, scrunching his fingers in delight. 

“I dunno, what do you call them?” Felix asked, an amused twinkle in his eye. 

“Newlywebs!!” Jisung laughed, happily bouncing up and down. Chan was laughing; more at him than anything. 

“That’s a cute joke, Ji.” Minho sighed, staring at his phone. “Yeah, it was nice.” Seungmin replied next to him; they seemed to be watching a stage they had done previously, searching for mistakes in their performance. 

Jisung deflated a little, but he kept happy. “Is it okay if I tell you another one?” 

“Okay, why not?” Hyunjin turned off the television, glancing sideways at the quokka. 

“How do you turn a soup to gold?” Jisung asked, and Changbin, who had been previously typing away at his laptop, took pity on the aspiring comedian, turning to watch with an expression of curiosity. 

“Add 24 carrots!” Hannie cheered, expecting to at least hear a few chuckles from the members, but no one had even thought to laugh, and Binnie’s previous curiousity turned to boredom, even if he didn’t show it and clapped anyway.  

Jisung smiled defeatedly, heart shattering inside of him as he was left standing, everyone returning to their previous work without so much as a comment. They might as well have made fun of him; it would’ve felt better than this. 

His eyes welled up with tears, his emotions were becoming too overwhelming. Chan and Changbin turned to look at him when he let out a small, heartbroken sniffle, eyes widening when they noticed their dear quokka running from the room, door ajar. 

“Oh, Hannie…” Hyunjin whispered, running after the crying boy, Changbin following suit. 

“Sungie?” Hyunjin called gently, knocking at the ace’s door with two knuckles. It opened and Jisung, who had clearly been crying his little heart out, opened it, a wide smile on his face. 

“Hi, H-Hyune…do you need anything?” Jisung asked, smiling as he wiped his face. 

“No, no…come here.” Hyunjin held his arms out, and Jisung gave in, rocketing into his chest and letting out a desperate sob. 

“No, Sungie…I’m sorry, baby.” Changbin frowned, walking around him and pulling both boys into his hug; Hannie sandwiched between the two.

“S’Okay, Hyung…” The ace responded, warmth and comfort filling his body as Changbin gently massaged down his arms from behind. 

It all disappeared when Binnie kneaded along Hannie’s sides, and he tensed before letting out a small “Ah!”, reaching behind him to grapple at Changbin’s fingers. 

“Ticklish?~” Hyunjin asked above him, and a horrified Jisung could practically feel the air around him turning mischievous, and he was suddenly picked up, turned over, and manhandled onto the bed. 

“Plehease nohoho!!” He giggled cutely in anticipation.  

“Look, Hyune, he’s already giggling for us. Get ready, Sung.” Changbin laughed. 

“Whyhy are you tickling meehe??” Jisung asked cutely, covering his hands with his face. 

“You know Sung, there are other ways to make a joke funny,” Changbin grinned. Hyunjin nodded along with him. “Grab him for me, will you, Hyunjin?”

Jisung squealed and tried to bounce off the bed, just to feel two hands on his waist, grabbing him and pinning him to the bed, arms outwards to the sides. 

“Wait…Wahait Binnie hyuhung please…” 

“You’re always begging but you never want it to stop, do you?” Changbin asked, Hyunjin settling on the ace’s waist comfortably. 

Jisung was speechless.  

“No response to that~? Okay let’s start then.” 

Hannie squeezed his eyes shut just as a finger began to trace along the shape of his kneecap, nails suddenly spreading out and in along both of them. The technique was more torturous than some of the worst wreckings Jisung had received. 

“AH-haaahahaha! Hyuuhunjin plehehease nohohot thihihiss!” The poor boy giggled hysterically, twisting at the light sensations only useful in driving him mad. 

Hyunjin moved to the spot right on his inner knees, using his nails to trace all fingers along it, watching Hanji’s legs tremble beneath his touch. 

Jisung shrieked when Hyune wrapped his hands around his knees, using his thumbs in the area and hearing the cutest laughter from a trapped quokka. 

The dancer only smiled until his face hurt. 

Changbin took note of it. “See how happy you make us?” He praised, deciding to help out by trailing his fingers along the ace’s stretched armpits.  

Poor Jisung was going crazy already, tears were welling up in his eyes and he was giggling like a madman. “Ahahaahaaa!! Stahahahap ahahalreheheady!!”

“Stop? Now why should we do that…that takes all the fun out of it!” Hyunjin teased. 

“But as per your sweet request, we shall stop…” Jisung sighed in relief at Changbin’s words. “…going easy on you.”

Jisung only registered the words when he felt a truly unbearable sensation along his vulnerable ribs, Binnie’s fingers traveling up and down as he played the younger like a piano. 

Hannie shrieked at the feeling, breaking into loud laughter as he twisted side to side, unable to escape as Changbin’s fingers followed him wherever he went. “AGHHAAHA OHO MY GOHOHOHOD!!” 

“You’re too cute, Jisungie~” Hyunjin cooed, wiggling his fingers tantalizingly. Jisung was breathless, but mustered up the strength to string together a few pleas to stop the dancer. 

“Hyuhuhune…HYUHUNJIN-AH PLEHEHEASE NOHOHOHOHO!!” He squealed when Hyune ignored his pleas, skittering up and down his thighs with no remorse. 

Jisung was messy with laughter, loud, unbroken cackles spilling out of him endlessly as a loud squeal or shrieks for mercy piled in between. 

“Okay, I have a joke, Hannie,” Changbin started. “Now let’s see if you find my jokes funny?”

Jisung screamed when Binnie moved to his waist, mercilessly drilling in. “Okay…” The older cleared his throat. “Why did the chicken cross the web?” 

Hyunjin gasped a faux gasp. “Why did the chicken cross the web?” 

“Why don’t we ask Jisung?” Changbin and Hyunjin both smiled down at the screaming Han beneath them, squirming crazily, laughing his head off and unable to form coherent words. 

“Awhh…Hyunjin look at him~”

“Our cute little comedian.” Hyune finished with a smile, watching poor Jisung pause his laughing to let out a flustered squeal. 

“I CAHAHAHAHAAN’T!! SOHOMEONE HEHEHEHELP!!” 

“Help? But we’re here! Don’t you wanna laugh together? How about you answer Bunny’s joke and then we’ll see about letting you go.”

“I DOHOHON’T KNOHOW!!”

“Okay, well, tell him the answer, and we’ll see if he can even remember it by the time I’m done with him.” Hyunjin threw the younger’s shirt up and pressed his lips to his side, blowing out and nibbling in an incredibly ticklish raspberry that had Jisung howling, flinging his head to the other side in desperation. 

“The chicken crossed the web to get to the other site!” Changbin cackled as Jisung wailed in the background, and the rapper let go of the poor boy’s arms, watching as Jisung shoved at Hyunjin’s head, cheeks red and wet as he pleaded at the top of his lungs. 

He finally managed to muster up the strength to yank the dancer’s head off. 

“Ohoho my gahahaha…” Jisung panted. Hyunjin unwrapped a red lollipop and handed it to the quokka, and Jiusng promptly latched onto the candy. 

“…Was my joke funny?”

“Reheheally, Binnie hyung?”