#he makes me feel some things that I find hard to explain
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would you be able to do hotchâs adult daughter meeting the team?
âHotch introduces his daughter to the team. 1.3k
âAaron?âÂ
Heâs grateful you didnât call him Mr. Hotchner, but dad might not hurt. âEverything okay, honey?â he asks the phone.Â
âSure, um. This might be presumptuous and, like, embarrassing for me, but my last class got cancelled and I was wondering if I can come to your office today?âÂ
He feels his brows rise of their own accord. He checks his watch. Youâve picked a good day to want to come. âSure, itâs quiet here.â
âYou donât want me to explain why?âÂ
âPresumptuous and embarrassing for me, I thought it might be to see your dear old dad.âÂ
You laugh funny on the other side, like Jack when heâs surprised. âKind of. I do want to see you, but I was wondering what itâs like. In the FBI, I mean.âÂ
âYouâre interested?âÂ
âIn working there?â you ask.Â
âItâs fine if you were, you donât have to worry.âÂ
âIt looks too intense for me, but⊠yeah, I guess I want to know what you do all day. I donât know anything about that part of your life, and itâs such a big part of it.âÂ
Heâs trying hard to say Yes to you at every opportunity, and this yes is easy. He sends a car to get you because he can, preparing himself for a lot of fawning and surprise. The BAU team, namely, Spencer, Derek, JJ, Emily, Dave, and Penelope, know who you are, but the office itself has little knowledge of you. There was chatter the day you turned up here unannounced. You havenât been to the office since.Â
He exits his office and finds Spencer, Emily, and Derek in the bullpen doing their paperwork, among other things. Derekâs peeling an orange. Spencer has his nose in a book despite a hand on the computer mouse.Â
âAre you ready?â he asks them.Â
âFor what, the round table?â Emily asks.Â
âY/Nâs coming into the office.âÂ
Three backs straighten in unison. âThe kid?â Derek asks with a grin. Heâs the only one whoâs actually met you, and it drives the others mad with jealousy.Â
âMy kid, yes,â he says. He canât help smiling. âShe wants to see what we do. Please donât show her anything with blood or gore, though. Please.âÂ
âScoutâs honour,â Emily says, standing from her desk to brush herself down. âOut of everything thatâs happened when I started here, is it strange that this is the craziest?âÂ
âItâs up there,â Spencer says.Â
âItâs certainly the nicest surprise Iâve had,â Aaron says, not quite missing the look Emily and Derek share even as he spots you at the office doors with your visitorâs pass clipped to the belt of your skirt.Â
He walks to meet you, lest the sheer sea of faces intimidate you. âEverything okay?â he asks.Â
You pull your jacket tighter around you, but itâs not a warm thing âif anything, it seems to be a stiff cardigan, grey and white plaid with ornate buttons. âItâs freezing out there.âÂ
âYouâll feel much warmer in a minute. The heat has been on high all day, JJâs orders.â He slips his hand behind your back and shepherds you to the bullpen. âHoney, these are some of the members of my team. Supervisory special agents Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid.âÂ
âEmily,â Emily says, thrusting her hand forward to shake.Â
âSpencer,â Spencer adds, managing to escape a handshake as Derek steps in.Â
âDerek Morgan,â he introduces himself, shaking your hand with a warm smile. âI can see now why you were reluctant to tell me what you were here for.âÂ
Your smile goes sideways, like youâre startled, but pleased nonetheless, âIâ honestly, I thought youâd make me leave if you heard what I had to say. Itâs still not believable.â
âYou sound like him,â Spencer says. âNot masculine, butââ
âMellifluous,â you and Aaron say at the same time.Â
âExactly.âÂ
âFreaky,â Emily says, though her smile is brilliant.Â
When Aaron sat the team down to tell them, it wasnât because he necessarily wanted to. He loves you as any man loves their child even if he still has mountains to learn about you, and the urge to brag about you doesnât go away, but he was hoping he wouldnât have to answer so many questions about you at the time. As far as anybody in Aaronâs life knows, he and Haley havenât ever split, it was a private parting, and so the first thing he sensed from everyone was a shift in image. âI didnât cheat on Haley,â heâd said quickly, with a suffering sigh, âwe were broken up at the time.âÂ
âLike, on a break?â Emily had asked, cringing.Â
No, not really. Aaron assumed he and Haley were broken up permanently when he slept with your mother, but that brief relationship cemented for him that he loved his now-wife. Now that the team know heâs not an adulterer, the only thing he has while presenting you to them is pride.Â
âY/Nâs class was cancelled today, so Iâm going to show her around the office and give her some insight into what we do here,â he says, catching your attention with a grin. âItâs not as though you need today's lecture, hm? Sheâs nearly the top of her class.âÂ
You shake your head at him, beaming but mortified, âDonât.âÂ
âIf she didnât work so hardââ
âHeâs trying to get me to quit my job,â you tell the others. âHeâs overbearing.âÂ
âWe know,â Emily says.Â
âI just think that now is a time for studying, and youâve worked hard enough already.âÂ
You shift marginally closer to him. Most people wouldnât notice, but Aaron does, and he suspects his team do to. âIâm fine doing both,â you say.Â
Heâs sure heâll win the argument one day. For now, he escorts you through the office to the round table, then his office, pulling you into Rossiâs office for a charming hello and then to JJâs, where youâre greeted with excitement and a disarming amount of love. Aaron forgets sometimes how much he and his team have been through together. You really are a good surprise.Â
âWhere are we going now?â you ask, following Aaron down a long corridor.Â
He smiles. âYou donât have a sensitivity to high-pitched noises, do you?âÂ
Your confusion is plain on your face. Aaron takes you to a familiar door, placard reading in big, black letters: PENELOPE GARCIA, BAU TOP TECH AND DATA ANALYST. Itâs surrounded by pink heart shaped stickers.Â
He knocks the ajar door politely. âGarcia?â he asks.
âSir?â Penelope says back.Â
He eases open the door with his foot. Penelope turns in her chair, blonde hair in windswept curls, her lips painted a pink-orange.Â
âGarcia, this is Y/N, my daughter.âÂ
Penelopeâs mouth falls open. âI know who she is,â she says, nearly monotonous.Â
âItâs nice to meet you,â you say. âIâve heard so much about you. I love your trinkets,â you add, nodding at her wild desk.Â
Penelope gives Aaron a pleading look. He nods.Â
âOh my god oh my god oh my god!â Penelope says, rushing forward to throw her arms around you. âI canât believe youâre here!â
You laugh and bow gently under her weight. âMe neither,â you say sincerely.Â
âOh my gosh. Oh my god,â she says, pulling away to smile at Aaron, âshe sounds like you, you werenât kidding! How is it possible that she sounds like you?âÂ
âStrong genetics?â he suggests.Â
âIâve never been this happy in my life,â Penelope says.Â
He watches you take Penelopeâs excited hand and thinks, that makes two of us.Â
âYouâre so adorable, Iâm looking for Hotch in your face but you donât look like him at all. But your clothes! Youâre so cute, like a baby politician!âÂ
âIâm almost twenty three.âÂ
âSo young,â Penelope fawns.Â
#aaron hotchner x reader#aaron hotchner x you#aaron hotchner x y/n#aaron hotchner#aaron hotchner fic#aaron hotchner blurb#aaron hotchner drabble#aaron hotchner imagine#aaron hotchner fanfic#aaron hotchner fanfiction#hotch x reader#hotch#hotch x you#hotch blurb#hotch drabble#criminal minds
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blue lock characters when you come home after a bad week at work
characters: yoichi isagi, meguru bachira, rensuke kunigami, seishiro nagi, reo mikage
tags: gn!reader, reader is referred to as "cutie" in bachira's and "darling" in kunigami's, reo being a rich boyfailure
a/n: first ever blue lock post lol (divider by @cafekitsune)
yoichi isagi æœ äžäž : the quintessential gentleman
âhey, what's wrong? you know you can talk to me about anything.â
if you feel like talking about it, he'll sit beside you patiently and listen (even if it takes an hour and a half). if you don't feel like talking about it, he'll get you a cup of your comfort beverage and take a short nap with you
you'll definitely feel a lot better when you finally wake up in his arms, and he'll talk things through with you so patiently!
he makes sure to remind you of how strong and brave you are, and how much he loves you!!
âi want you to know that i love you and i will support you always, no matter what.â
meguru bachira èæ„œ ć»» : the supportive jokester
âlook who's all moody today! c'mon, cutie, won't you lighten up a little?â
when he realizes there's something wrong, it's like someone flipped a switch on him because he gets so unbelievably serious and sits you down at the dining table
after he coaxes the full story out of you, he peppers your face with kisses, wiping your tears away gently
he will then proceed to hit you with a barrage of the worst dad jokes known to man until you're laughing at him laughing at himself
âi know i find it hard to take things seriously sometimes, but you? you're something i will always be serious about. i will always make time for you.â
rensuke kunigami ćç„ éŹä»: the dedicated sweetheart
he doesn't say anything at first, just wraps you up in a big bear hug (he doesn't let you go for the next five minutes)
in typical malewife fashion, he makes you a snack and runs you a bath. while you relax in the tub, he somehow manages to clean the whole house??
afterwards, he makes dinner with you in silence (man's love language is definitely quality time)
when you finally decide to open up to him, he's holding your hand throughout and lets you take your time explaining without interruptions
âthank you for telling me all this, darling, so i can support you like how you. deserve. i know you'll get through it like you always do.â
seishiro nagi ćȘ èȘ 棫é: the silent rock
he notices somethingâs off, but he holds off on saying anything in case he's wrong. as the day goes on he notices you're not your usual self and silently takes a seat beside you
â...you okay?â
you break down crying and all he can think to do is to pull you into his lap and hold you tight. he nods silently as you tell him everything, and though he doesn't say much, whatever advice he does give is surprisingly pretty helpful
he takes you on a snack run after even if it's 4 am! because ânothing is too much of a hassle when it comes to making you happy.â
and that makes you cry even more (happy tears this time <3)
reo mikage ćŸĄćœ± çČç: uh... he's doing his best??
he finds himself temporarily frozen when you walk through the front door with the most sullen expression on your face. at first he thinks it's something he might've done wrong
all it takes for you to break down is a light squeeze of your palm, and now he's utterly clueless on what to do. he awkwardly pats your back
growing up a sheltered only child with a grand total of one true friend, he's never been in a position where he had to comfort someone
âi can pull some strings, get your horrible boss fired⊠or you could quit your job and stay at home! yeah, we can do thatâŠâ
you make fun of him for being bad at comforting people, but it definitely brings your mood up a little
you end the night watching your comfort tv series on the couch with him and all is well!
bllk masterlist || general masterlist
© sirhamburrger 2024
#blue lock#bllk#bllk fluff#bllk headcanons#bllk x reader#bllk x you#bllk x y/n#kai writes#yoichi isagi#isagi yoichi#meguru bachira#bachira meguru#rensuke kunigami#kunigami rensuke#seishiro nagi#nagi seishiro#reo mikage#mikage reo#isagi x reader#bachira x reader#kunigami x reader#nagi x reader#reo x reader
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Eat up, yall starving lunatics. More Papatarion for the books since yall feel kinda tender for this man <33
Summary: Mortarion's approach to fatherhood 2.0
Pairing: Mortarion x Reader (Female)
CW: Mentions of pregnancy
Little and Precious (Part 2)
Mortarion wasnât a fan of going through every little report that needed to be addressed by him after any sort of deployment from the Legion. It seemed too meaningless in comparison to other tasks that needed most of his attention.
So far, it was a drag having to oversee the next resupply of the dreadnoughts even when his gene-sons could go for long periods of time without needed them, but neglecting his duties could lead to terrible consequences he rather not have to contemplate when the ones in the line were you and his daughter.
The fact that you had understood and even tried to help on the workload made Mortarion wheeze in amazement because how had he managed to find someone like you in this wretched universe?
Youâll be the end of him.
While overseeing one of the many dataslates on his desk, the Primarch heard the door opening and closing just as fast. A light shuffling approached behind him, but Mortarion pretended to not see or hear anything and kept himself occupied while a twitch graced his scarred lips in an attempt to hide a playful smile.
There was a breathy giggle and immediately the partial silence of the room came back as if nothing happened.
When Mortarion looked at the pile of dataslates on his right, he noticed a freshly cut yellow flower above them. It was very innocuous in nature and contrasting in a manner that made the Pale King blink a few times in bewilderment.
He still found surprising how silent and fast his girl could be when she wished to.
The Primarch then heard the shuffling again to his left and right there on his desk rested a pile of hard candies of different flavors.
âHmm⊠It seems a spy has entered my private chambersâ he said with a serious tone despite the gentle smile on his face. âWhere would they have gone?â
Mortarion made a show to ignore the giggling behind his chair and simply checked under the desk to left and right, his smile only widening at the sound of snickering when he sillily checked under the dataslates to keep the play.
The mighty Primarch can only imagine how much his Legion would be both confused and perplexed at his behavior, but the demigod had spent enough time with you and his daughter to start understanding the soft edges he could possess too with his family.
The sweet silliness that accompanied the toddlerâs laughter made any sense of shame or aggravation be forgotten at the sight of happiness from the girl. What would have been a slight towards his person, now it made something tender spread over his ribcage.
Of course he always made sure not to make a fool of himself in public, but no one was blind to the gentleness Mortarion displayed towards the little lady of the Death Guard Legion.
It was a good thing his daughter had the same approachable and warm disposition that her mother possessed, as she had managed to have pretty much any astartes graped around her little fingers without realizing.
The Pale King hummed, tapping patiently on his desk until his precious girl let her guard down and swiftly scooped the toddler with his two hands under her armpits, all while she shrieked in laughter.
His little girl always loved to be raised in her fatherâs arms.
Mortarion went ahead and sat himself along the child on his lap, grabbing the yellow flower over the dataslate and settling it behind his daughterâs ear to decorate her hair.
âI thought you were with your mother, my little budâ he extended one of the hard candies to the toddler, who sheepishly accepted the offer while swinging her little legs.
âMama got tired and went to sleepâ she explained idly in that sweet tone of hers, but Mortarion noticed some dejection too. âI just feel a bit sad that mama canât play with me like before because of my little sister being in her bellyâŠâ
Ah, so thatâs why his precious lady had wandered here.
The second pregnancy had been a huge and scary surprise just like the first time, as you two and some apothecaries had believed that the first one had been nothing short of a miracle.
Mortarion wouldn't say that he felt disappointed at the result, but he could see now what other effects were starting to have an impact on his little girl in a terrible manner. Your due date was just a month away and rest had become nothing short of obligatory at this point, so he understood where the frustrations of his daughter seemed to arise from.
This was the kind of stuff you would usually be dealing with, as the Primarch still had a hard time understanding a proper approach to the simple concerns a small 4 year old would have.
He was the imposing and protective father while you managed the complexities of baseline human feelings his little flower may experience.
This was a territory he never expected to cross.
âWell⊠my little bud⊠I know right now itâs hard since it's only been you around us⊠but once your little sister is born, you know who else she will need to guide her and protect her?â
She looked expectant at the answer. Big childish eyes drinking every word from him.
âIt will be you. When your Mother or I canât be around, your little sister will be counting on you to take care of her⊠at least, until he grows and can protect herselfâ
The once dejected look on her face regained a new light of understanding. Little fist balling the beautiful fabric of her purple dress while looking now at him with one can only describe as unshakable determination that made something inside Mortarion choke a bit.
âThen Iâll be the best big sister ever! Iâll help mama and-and Iâll help you too papa, thenâŠ!â
His precious daughter seemed to have gotten quite the fire on her rambling now. Going on and on about the things she wished to do once the baby was born and even making plans at which of her favorites astartes will be allowed to help protect her future younger sibling.
Never in his wildest dreams, Mortarion believed heâll be granted such wonderful moments.
This is me while I wrote this shit at midnight
#warhammer 40000#warhammer 40k#mortarion x reader#reader insert#female reader#x reader#reader#mortarion#mentions of pregnancy#wh40k#wh40k fanfic#parenthood#papatarion
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@duskdog
Hiiii! Been meaning to respond to this because you raised some really interesting ideas, sorry that itâs taken me a hot sec.
The crazy part is (like a lot of things about Steph) we get conflicting information about how Bruce sees Steph in relation to her father.
Steph consistently worries Batman is judging her by her fathers actions when sheâs sanctioned at Spoiler. She identifies it as a potential reason the rest of the team doesnât trust her.
This tracks with how Steph is shown to have a pattern of feeling responsible for the Cluemasters actions (which as Iâve mentioned before I see as an extension of her helplessness to protect herself and her mother from him during her childhood).
She identifies on multiple occasions that her choice to be the Spoiler is rooted in the misgivings of her father. Clear, easy example of this mindset is when she states because her dad is an asshole, she âhas a lot to make up forâ (Robin 80 Page Giant). She finds herself responsible in some part for his actions.
So it makes a lot of sense that Stephanie keeps asssuming other people are holding her to this same standard, judging her based off of her fathers criminal ways.
However, this assumption is not really substantiated.
I canât think of a time Batman says or thinks anything which implies he gives a fuck who her dad is, besides when they first meet assuming sheâs working with the Cluemaster instead of against him. (Iâm not perfect however and I Might have missed one)
That is, until⊠Bruce Wayne: The Road Home Batgirl (đI love talking about BWTRHB!!!!! The worlds shittiest acronym!!!đ)
After his little assessment and convo with Steph, Bruce tells Alfred that Stephanie and Wendy âneed watchingâ, as their dads were both âcriminalsâ.
This train of thought comes out of nowhere. As already stated, thereâs very little evidence that Batman cared much that her dad was a criminal before this point.
Additionally, half his goddamn team has criminal fathers/mothers, ranging from mob bosses to goons to cult assassins to international terrorists. What is he even saying.
This is a total inconsistency. But I can see your view kinda accounts for that hypocrisy. If Bruce sees Cluemaster as a âlesserâ threat and holds him in less esteem than the more formidable villain parents, it might explain why he seems to put this bonus emphasis on Stephs parentage. (Maybe he sees Stephs fathers criminal ways as more âmundaneâ and therefore easier for her to slip into?)
I donât think Iâm totally sold on that idea, but itâs definitely interesting.
His statement feels just so out of nowhere (and again applies to half the people he works with) that I find it hard to believe this is a consistent concern of his.
Batmanâs opinion on low level thugs varies (obviously by era and writer), but the versions of him I find most compelling are when he is shown to be sympathetic and willing to help people in shitty situations get out of them (even if they were doing crime beforehand). However itâs entirely possible (and probably equally substantiable) that he has unconscious and class based biases which might affect how he acts and treats certain characters.
Iâm not nearly as intensely familiar with Jasonâs character as I am Stephanie, so Iâm low grade blanking on any good examples of how Bruce interacted w Jasonâs background (besides his generally all consuming belief that Jason was on track to worse and worse crime and eventual death before Batman took him in).
Sorry this is pretty rambly, but I thought you brought up a Rly interesting point and i had some thoughts I wanted to add on
How Batman uses the idea of those "born for" vigilantism to justify working with Teen Vigilantes before and after the death of Jason Todd, and what it has to do with Stephanie Brown.
(DISCLAIMER: I'm not trying to condemn the concept of child/teen vigilantes in superhero comics, its a staple of the genre and dumb to condemn it like you would in the real world. I'm analyzing the times in which Bruce Wayne the character has questioned the concept himself, and the rationalizations he comes to about it)
By examining Bruce Waynes mindset immediately before, during, and after Jason Todd's deadly time as Robin, we can see how Batman rationalizes and justifies teenaged vigilantism.
When Dick Grayson as Robin is shot by the Joker, Batman essentially fires him from being Robin. Bruce entirely dismisses the concept of working with a "child" to fight crime. Batman seems to believe working with Dick as Robin is simply too dangerous.
Batman #408 (1940)
His Mindset at this point: Teenaged Vigilantism = Dangerous and Bad
But this, obviously, doesn't stick. It barely takes any time at all after this forBruce Wayne to take in Jason Todd and subsequently make him the second Robin.
Crime fighting with a 19 year old is too dangerous, but crime fighting with the 12 year old? Yeah, sure, why not!
There is an obvious contradiction, and a clear change in mindset.
In order to rationalize his choice to take in Jason Todd as Robin after firing Dick, Bruce Wayne must internally reendorse the concept of Teenaged Vigilantism. And he does so in a specific way:
Batman #410 (1940)
Mindset: If Jason Todd was not Robin, he would become a criminal and die
The dying part is specific as well. When confronted at first by Alfred, its more of an afterthought, something which would occur down the criminal "road" Jason was bound to end up on. But when he is later confronted by Dick, the idea that being Robin "saved" Jasons life takes center stage.
Batman #416 (1940)
It's no longer some distant crime related death Jason was on course for, it was an imminent death which Bruce was able to save him from.
Mindset: If Jason Todd was not Robin, his "self destructive energies" and lack of "self esteem" would have killed him.
This phrasing is SUPER interesting to me, because its not true in a very specific way.
1. Jason Todd wasn't really shown to have "Self destructive energies" before he became Robin. He was stealing to make a living, to stay alive. He never showcases a desire for "self destruction", unless you count his hitting Batman with a tire iron, and his interference in Ma Gunnâs heist. Which I don't.
2. It seems to imply Jason Todd might have died because of specifically "self destructive tendancies", which seems ascribes a small amount of passive potential suicidal ideation, which is also vastly unsubstantiated by anything we see from Jason before he becomes Robin. But you know who is a character who is deeply rooted in concepts of suicidal ideation? Batman. (I'm not going prove this point here, but this concept gets more firmly rooted in the upcoming years after this comic, Knightfall being a great example) Being Batman, Knightfall will establish, is pretty much all that keeps Bruce Wayne living. You could say that being Batman saved his life.
3. Bruce admits he took Jason on because he was lonely in this very same confrontation when Dick pushes him on this idea. This makes it abundantly clear why he needs this rationalization in the first place, his real reason for making Jason Robin appears to be somewhat selfish.
But what does this all mean? For one, it proves that Batman's primary explanation for why he took on Jason Todd is lowgrade BS. It also shows how Batman's rationalization has begun to veer into projection. He states that Jason was saved from his self destructiveness by becoming Robin, something that is certainly true for himself, but not really Jason.
We see this projection fully take root when Leslie Thompkins confronts Bruce. Not only is Jason Todd saved by becoming Robin, now he wasn't even chosen by Batman. It was, much like Bruce Wayne becoming Batman, inevitable. Something he was "born" to do.
Detective #574
Mindset: I didn't chose Jason, he was chosen, he is just like me, we were born for this
This is essential. This mindset will show up again and again as a core part of Bruce's ability to rationalize working with child vigilantes once Jason has died.
Lets look at how his mindset has been evolving from before he meets Jason to his time as Robin progressing. Batman has gone from:
Teenage/Child vigilante Bad --> Child Vigilante Good because Jason would have become a crimial --> Child Vigilante Good because Jason would have died, I saved his life --> Child Vigilante is Good because I saved his life and Jason was meant to be Robin just like I was meant to be Batman, this is what we were was born to do
This is insane rationalization. But it works. For a while.
Then, Jason begins acting out, and putting himself in danger. Whoops. uh oh! How can Jason be saved by becoming Robin, if he is endangered by it? The balm for Bruce's semi-suicidal ideation was crime fighting, so if Jason is self destructive as Robin, does that mean Jason isn't like Bruce after all? Does that mean he wasn't born to be Robin? Was Bruce right in the begining? Is Teen Vigilantism Bad? Well, lucklily, the rationalization Bruce has built doesnt need to change too much in order to accommodate these new facts.
Batman #426 (1940)
See, this issue has not reverted back to being child vigilantism, it's the fact that Jason isn't ready yet.
Batman #426 (1940) / Batman #427
Batman latches onto this idea, he identifies it as "the problem". Is he wrong? No, not really. It does seem like Jason needs come to terms with his parents deaths. But this is important because it is still a rationalization for mindset he started with, still part of the reason he can be in favor of Teenage Vigilantism.
Then Jason Todd dies, as Robin. That truly breaks the underlying concept for this rationalization, that being Robin saved Jason Todd. The entire justification has fully shattered, and Bruce Wayne has lost a son. And, so because of this, in the wake of Jason Todds death, we see a full 180 revert back to the idea Bruce held onto at the end of Dick Graysons time as Robin: Teenage Vigilante = Bad.
Batman #428/ The New Teen Titans #55 (1984) / Batman #439
He has fully rejected the very concept of working with anyone, including the now adult Nightwing. He is literally right back where we started, with even deeper convictions against working with someone else (especially a kid) ever again.
But we all know this doesn't stick. He takes on 13 year old Tim Drake as Robin not long at all afterwards. As the 90's progress Bruces goes on to work with a huge variety of other vigilantes and partners, both teenaged and adult.
So how does he possibly justify this?
I believe he retrofits his rationalization for taking on Jason as Robin.
He adheres to a primary idea. The idea that some people are, like him, simply built for Vigilantism. That they, much like he once believed Jason was, "born" for it.
Mindset: Child Vigilantle is not always Good, but it can be Good. When its the right kind of teenager. Some Teenaged Vigilantes are meant to be Vigilantes just like I was meant to be Batman.
In this way, Jason Todds tragic murder is not a failure of concept, it a category error. Batmans mistake was not working with a teenager, his mistake was working with the wrong kind of teenager. Jason Todd was not built for vigilantism. But others are. This means he's still totally in the clear to work with teenagers, Tim Drake as Robin, then Cassandra Cain as Batgirl, and then eventually Stephanie Brown as Spoiler. So long as Bruce is able to believe they are "born" for it, that they are like Batman himself, meant to do this, and incapable of living a normal life, there is no contradiction, his rationalization holds.
But whereâs the proof?
This mindset can be clearly seen and prominently seen when Stephanie Brown is fired as Spoiler.
When Steph is fired as Spoiler because she has moved in Bruce's mind from the "acceptable Teen Vigilante" category into the "unacceptable Teen Vigilante category". And the reasons he gives for this decision are exactly in line with the rationalization I've lain out. She is consistently contrasted to other teen vigilante characters who are fit for duty because he does not see her as "like him/them".
Detective #790
Notice how he jumps right from "Jason and Stephanie were/are not fit to fight crime" to "they could/can have a normal life" right to "unlike me and you, Cassandra Cain, who are stuck fighting crime forever". Much like how he originally justified his decision to work with Jason Todd as Robin through the idea that Jason and Bruce were both destined for this life, he applies the exact same idea, but this time, about himself and Cassandra Cain as Batgirl. And in contrast to them, and in directly comparison to Jason Todd, Stephanie is not meant for crime fighting.
Batgirl #38 (2000)
And Stephanie Brown is contrasted with Cass again, when Bruce first explains why he fired Steph to Cass. This is a consistent pattern. She is not like Cass. This is why she shouldnât be a vigilante.
When he explains that he is going to fire Steph as Spoiler to Tim, he says something very interesting which invokes the same idea. In the list of three reasons he throw out that Steph shouldn't be Spoiler, he mentions that she is going to "throw her life away". When taken in combination with the other panels discussed, its clear to me that he means this is the common way the saying is used. That she is wasting her life by being a vigilante, that she should, as he mentions earlier, be living a normal life. But why is he saying this to Tim? If one of the reasons Steph shouldn't be Spoiler is her ability to lead a normal life, why the fuck is Tim exempt? I think it comes from a genuine belief that Tim is "like him". Unable to live a normal, non-vigilante life, "born" for crime fighting. Much like Cass, who we already saw him directly compare himself to in this exact same way. Thats why he can directly reference to Tim Steph's ability to have a normal life as a reason she shouldn't be a vigilante, he doesn't believe Tim fits the same category at all!
Robin #106 (1993)
So why the fuck does Stephanie move categories? She was acceptable earlier? What changed?
I've already done an in-depth explanation for what the subconscious underlying reason Bruce fires Stephanie: she simply is no longer useful to as a balm for his loneliness. I highly recommend checking out the post here if you are interested in the breakdown of why and how.
But in addition to that, itâs clear to me that it also has a weird amount to do with Jason Todd.
Stephanie simply and clearly reminds Bruce of Jason Todd. He points out their similarities in personality, and itâs worth mentioning the similarities in their circumstances as well (mothers who struggle(d) with drug addiction, and fathers who were criminals).
As we saw in Detective #790, their personality similarities led to Batman associating Steph with Jason. This makes sense, this association would only grow as he got to know her over the time she is sanctioned as Spoiler.
I believe this association leads to him eventually placing her in the same category as Jason, as not "born" for vigilantism at all, and as capable of having a normal life.
But it also serves as a clear way to rectify his mistakes with Jason. Itâs his way of âmaking up forâ his role in Jason's death. Itâs his second chance. Never mind that this second chance leads to his assessment of Stephanie having very little to do with Steph herself, and a whole fucking lot to do about Bruceâs guilt over Jasonâs death.
This is especially brutal because it seems to come from a place of genuine care (and a selfish desire to assuage his guilt too), but Stephanie doesn't get the tender moment of explanation and grief and regret that Cassandra hears. She doesn't get to know this.
What she gets, is to be told point blank that she is fired because she just isn't good enough. She gets to hear that she lacks the "skills and talent" from the same man who originally came to her to train her because he finally saw and recognized her potential. She gets told she will never be good enough by the guy who told her that she could learn and improve under his instruction. She gets two sentences. She has to fight for any more.
I cannot emphasize enough the fact that she had to track Bruce down to get an explanation for why he was suddenly ghosting her. He didn't even have the decency to tell her himself. Stephanie had to track Bruce down just so she could find out that he gave up on her.
Stephanie gets a blunt lie about why she is fired. And Bruce Wayne gets to feel good about "correcting" a mistake that had nothing to do with Stephanie. Stephanie gets cut off from her friends. Bruce Wayne gets to reconcile with his team. Stephanie gets to feel worthless. Bruce Wayne gets to feel justified.
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Hey look who's here to kick off my day, Niklas, the man of destiny himself. I'm not surprised but he is sporting a big smile on his face which I love to see! It's supposed to be Summerday, by the way, but as you can tell the weather here doesn't really think so.
"I was thinking," Niklas says after I invite him inside, his cheerful mood radiating off of him and bringing a smile to my face too. "It's summer, maybe we can go out and do some summery stuff?"
"Oh?" I glance at one of the windows and peer beyond the glass to see the dreary gray morning that is common here oft times in Windenburg. "It sure doesn't feel like summer."
"That's Windenburg for you!" he agrees with a laugh and yeah, can't argue there but what kind of summery things can we do with a day like this?
"What did you have in mind?" I ask.
"Just something simple, maybe, head out to the public pool?"
I can't help but smirk and tease him a little, it is a good idea buuuut I have a feeling I know why he's thinking about a little date out to the pool. "Ah, wanting to see me in a swimsuit then?"
So we head to the Bathe De Rill and thankfully we're a little early so the pool is pretty much empty. It's also raining which probably explains the lack of people but honestly why would rain stop a trip to the pool? You're going to get wet any ways, so what's the difference? Ah well, public pools are no fun if there's too much of a crowd.
After a few casual laps, nothing competitive, but we both use enough energy so that we had to pause and catch our breaths giving us a perfect time to start a conversation. "So, any water tricks you can show me?"
"Hmm? No," he gives his head a little shake, wading restlessly in the water. "It's always hard to manipulate the elements. Fire, water, air, those forces take a lot of skill and power to get a handle of."
"I can imagine but you're telling me you have no tricks at all!?" He's so lame sometimes! "Not even a bubble or a little sprout of water or-"
"Oh, I know a trick I can do with water?" He says but his tone is a little too playful now and it makes me suspicious of what he might say next and yet I can't help but ask.
"Yesss?" my eyes narrow, knowing the set up suddenly, it's going to be a lewd joke isn't it?
"I can show you later tonight."
Ugh, I knew it! Let me guess, something something make me wet something something? Yeah, that's He's also snickering like a child too as if he's told the most clever of jokes! All I can do is groan, roll my eyes, and float over to the edge of pool to make my exit.
He follows me outside of the pool and we both decide to hang out a little longer here. For a while we just walk, letting ourselves dry with the help of a very mild sun and a slight breeze but eventually we find somewhere to stop. Away from the trickle of people who have waited out the rain to visit the famous Bathe de Rill. I am mostly focused though on his watch, there is something about it that draws the eyes, it looks ordinary and yet clearly it isn't.
"So is that thing waterproof?" I ask, my eyes glaring at it as if it had asked me a question instead.
"Yea, fireproof too. It can withstand a lot, it's...well, it's very old. My great grandmother had her house burned down in a fire, attempted arson we think, but she later retrieved it in the ashes as if it were brand new."
"That...that thing seems pretty powerful?" Fire usually is all powerful, after all, it's like pure energy. Fire kills everything, doesn't it? Except for his watch I guess.
He shrugs as if it the answer was obvious. "Yeah, it is, but honestly it's a passive kind of power. Not an active kind of power."
"So you say it points you to where you need to be but for what purpose like...is it trying to help you succeed or..."
Another shrug. "Simply where I need to be, whatever that means. It's not always serving me, at least that's what I've been told but honestly I don't think my father even knows what it does."
"What do you mean?" I ask, because the more I hear about it the more confusing it gets. He used it to claim that that we were meant to be but what if it dragged him my way for another reason?
"It's...hard to explain," he rubs the back of his neck for lack of a better answer. "It's not trying to make me rich or anything, it's just simply...where I need to be."
"Ugh, I'm starting to understand why you avoid magic!"
I head back home with Niklas because by the time we left the pool night had fallen and you know he insisted on walking me home. He warned of vampires and werewolves and the mothman and bigfoot too...okay, he only warned me about vampires because he seriously has a hatred for them.
Either way, I mentioned to him that he couldn't stay long because I had some cleaning to do and once again he deployed his magic to help me out. Cleaning the tub with a few swirls of his arms and some sparkly sparkles on top of it and voila, a clean tub! Yeah so, that's a neat trick! I'd be fine with just learning that honestly.
Also, yes, he never did change out of his swimshorts? Yeah so, that was my day, I guess I made the most of it.
Episode List - Next Episode 3.3
#The Sims#The Sims 4#ts4#Sims#Sims 4#sims legacy#my sims#generation 1#soot#sims of our time#niklas krausser#gracelyn matlock
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The S-Classes that I Raised often gets grouped with Omniscent Reader's Viewpoint and Trash of the Count's Family, but there's something distinctly different about Han Yoojin as a protagonist. I think it's that his story really makes you feel how much of a fighter he is. I'm not saying that Kim Dokja and Kim Roksoo aren't fighters exactly, but they tend to come off as schemers first and foremost. Their approach to most problems (from my perspective as someone who's read all of ORV and like a third of TCF) involves leveraging secrets of the world that only they know in order to get the better of their adversaries and achieve their goals. They plan things out a long time in advance, and sure, things don't always go their way, but they feel like chess players when they're confronted with obstacles.
Meanwhile, Han Yoojin feels like a guerilla soldier. He definitely also schemes, but SCTIR makes a dedicated effort to showing that his current knowledge of the future and the world's secrets will only take him so far. He does think ahead and plans for the future whenever he can, but most of his problems are solved by improvising. One of his greatest strengths is that he thinks on his feet and doesn't let himself be fazed by surprises. This ends up making him feel more like someone who has always had to fight desperately for every last scrap of respect and survival he could get his hands on in a way that ORV and TCF don't go for as much (as far as I can tell for TCF as of now). Kim Dokja and Kim Roksoo's plans go "first, I'm going to go to the super secret location to get a weapon that will help me in six months, and then in five weeks, I'm going to recruit an obscure powerhouse to be my spy for the operation I'll do next year..." whereas Han Yoojin's plans are more like "first, I'll get into some shit, and then, I'll figure it out."
It's kind of hard to explain the vibe difference because these characters are all defined by their cleverness, but I guess the best way to put it would be that Kim Dokja and Kim Roksoo seem more... exasperated? with the way they've been wronged in the past, whereas Han Yoojin seems more angry and spiteful about it. The first two mostly seem tired of dealing with the way their lives were going before and just want to be happy, but Han Yoojin gives off the feeling that he doesn't think he can find happiness without biting and clawing his way to it
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2015.03.
- 18+ Minors DNI
- Warnings: Some cussing?, a little kissy reunion, brief mention of sexting but no details or NSFW content, tensions are high
- Length: 5.3k words
- Sidenotes: i'm gonna finish the damn thing! for myself if anything, i do love this story and it's probably a good thing that it makes me feel things. as always, thank you for reading if you do :)
Find the rest here!
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"Excited to see you."
The message from Yoongi had shown up on my phone minutes ago and I found myself unable to stop staring at it.
   It was the day the guy's were moving, and I was on FaceTime with Jungkook. Jimin, Tae and Jungkook were in one car together. Hobi, Namjoon, Lacey and Yoongi in another (they finally had another car with Lacey being there).
"Baaaby." Jungkook called out and I snapped out of my trance. Noticing the frown in the small square my face was in.
"Yes! Sorry, I was-" I started to explain before Jungkook cut me off.
"Thinking. Yeah, you do that a lot." He snickered, "What about?"
   No point in hiding it, was there?
   "Ooh, um, Yoongi just texted that he's excited to see me." I had my eyes glued to Jungkook's face, fear of his reaction taking precedence over my own feelings. Wiping me into a blank slate.
   A hush fell over the car before Jungkook sat up in the backseat, raking his fingers through his hair.
   "Hm. Well I'm glad he's not bein' weird." He muttered huskily, looking down as he said it.
   I hurriedly tried to comfort him;
   "Yeah me too."
   "It'd be hella awkward if he was still mad."
   "I'm glad he seems to be accepting of you and me."
   Jungkook perked up at the last part, grinning like a goof and shifting his gaze from the floor to look at me again. There was almost a sigh of relief when he spoke, "Yeah, I'm glad he is too."
   Jungkook turned his phone towards Tae, who was craning his neck to look at me, turning from his passenger side seat.
   "Yeah, you two love-birds are kinda hard to ignore darling. Yoongi would have to work too hard to not be cool with it." The words were uncomfortable, the feelings they left stuck in my throat and filled it with lumps. He shot me an unsure boxy smile before reaching for the phone to show me Jimin.
   Jimin had his hands at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel, his eyes were wide with lips puckered into a duck pout while he focused on driving.
   He swiveled his head briefly to glance at me before turning back to the road, "It is what it is either way. He's gotta accept that he chose Lacey. And anyways, what's more exciting is that... WE WILL ALL BE TOGETHER AGAIN!" He paused for emphasis before yelling out the last part. His head tilted up briefly during his exclamation before snapping back down to stare at the road with giant eyes and a terrified look.
   "TOGETHER AGAIN!" Tae, Jungkook and I repeated the phrase with giant smiles.
   "Somebody take over for Jimin soon please, I hate seeing him so stressed." I giggled.
Jimin didn't turn his head but scowled softly, nodding in agreement.
   "I'm not cut out for this."
   Jungkook took over driving next, keeping me on the phone as the three of them performed songs from each of their playlists. Jungkook's was all over the map, Jimin's was full of high notes and dance songs while Tae had jazzy lo-fi RnB. I had grown up dancing and knew the most from Jimin's playlist. I tried my best not to screech as I sang along with them.
   After telling Jimin why I knew so many of his songs, he asked why I'd stopped dancing. When I told him I still was, Jungkook's head twisted so fast he turned the wheel with him. The guys hollered out "woah's" and I tried to use the distraction of the moment to keep my face from falling. Dance had been the great love of my life along with writing. I'd started when I was 3, but self-consciousness had been driving a wedge between us since I turned 11. It was something I didn't want to get into, at least, not on a video call while they were in the car.
   I kept my phone near me as I cleaned my room and got ready to meet them. There were still many hours to go but Yoongi's text was flashing like a check engine light behind my eyes. Sitting in front of my mirror, I swiped a mascara wand through my eyelashes, over, and over and over again. Trying to get each lash perfectly separated.
   I had been working at it for at least 45 minutes, using the most minuscule clump as an excuse to keep at it. Blinking and messing up my own work repeatedly.
Yoongi and Jungkook would both be here tonight.
Together.
At the same place.
Together.
I had told Jungkook I'd kiss him in front of Yoongi and I still planned on it. But the feelings of Yoongi being close to me were jumping into memory, as if they had been freshly made. The feelings I'd been convincing myself I was over were now pumping through me with undeniable "there-ness". How my heart would pummel into my stomach. How my skin would buzz with butterfly wings from head to toe. I couldn't get those feelings out of my mind.
   What if I kissed Jungkook and Yoongi got angry at me again?
   What if he kissed Lacey in front of me and Jungkook saw me get upset?
   What if Lacey noticed the weird energy between us and told Jungkook and tried to get him next?
   What if I'm a selfish horrible asshole for wanting both of them?
   Oh god, I am a selfish, horrible asshole for wanting both aren't I? Yoongi chose another and I did the same, that's something we both have to accept, isn't it? Yoongi isn't mine. He's barely even a friend right now, let alone someone to be considering as -
   "You're already pretty, you don't need to do that baby." I heard Jungkook saying and I glanced down at my phone. I'd forgotten he could see me. I couldn't even remember him and Tae switching driving spots.
   In an attempt to cover up my tumultuous thoughts, I struck a pose. Twisting one knee over the other and placing a hand behind my head, elbow opening up to the side.
   "You think I'm pretty?" I said as coyly as I could, batting my eyelashes at him.
   "The prettiest."
His response got groans from Tae and Jimin.
   "Save it for when you're together. And alone. In your own room." Jimin griped out.
   Jungkook and I snickered to ourselves before blushing.
   And with Jimin's words came a nervousness that overrode my thoughts of Yoongi. Or, at least rivaled them.
It had been one thing to call Jungkook all the time, to send some...mature pictures and texts to each other, to jokingly broach the topic of being physical once we were together again.
Remembering the impulsive urges to lick the sweat off his neck, to keep riling him up to feel him press himself up against me, made my heartbeat drop between my legs. As I clenched them together, I was momentarily grateful for the distance.
Jungkook looked at me bashfully, tucking curly black hair behind his ear and biting his lip through his smile.
I wanted to smash my face into his dimple and hold him so tightly that my arms gave out.
"Maybe we could- um, it would be- I'd like to dance with you when we're all set at the studio. Hey! Maybe you could be Jimin's TA too!" The earnest way he spoke had me pressing my nails into one of my thighs. He was so genuinely sweet. And I couldn't understand what it was that he liked about me.
Especially with the bullshit I had going on with Yoongi.
Not once had he ever threatened to leave or forced me to chose or tried to manipulate me away from my own feelings.
He simply stayed and kept being there. Kept showing me that he cared.
An entire flock of doves fluttered their wings inside my chest at his words. Teddy bear brown eyes were perfectly rounded and his mouth was slightly open while he waited for my response. A pink tongue darted out to mess with his lip rings, a nervous habit he could never believe I noticed (he swore he only did it when nobody was paying attention).
"I love you" was dangerously close to the tip of my tongue, which would be insane, so I tried to maintain my flirty demeanor.
"I'd love to dance with ya handsome," I cooed and wiggled my fingers at him, "It'd be so fun to work together, although it might be too distracting..." I felt embarrassed of myself by the end of my sentence. He was offering to work and do something we both love together and there I was, turning it into some-
"Baby look at this." Jungkook sounded excited, and my eyes shot back to the screen.
He was doing an incredible combination of tutting, shimmying and chest popping. All movement should have been limited to his upper body but he slid back and forth across the backseat, making sound effects as he did.
"Pow! Pow!" His opened and closed a fist to mimic a heartbeat as he popped his chest behind it. Finishing with a wink and cheesy grin.
I stood up and burst into applause, shouting encore in a raised whisper to mimic a scream.
"Pretend I can wolf whistle, and that I just wolf whistled." I murmured getting Jungkook's goofy giggle as a response.
"I love you both, but if you were together with me at work I think I might throw up." Jimin piped up.
"They did want another teacher though so...keep it in mind, yeah?"
"She nodded!" Jungkook yelled up to the front seat and I heard a loud smacking sound before Jungkook feigned being in pain.
"Hurry up and get here soon." I pouted at him while he adjusted himself to lay down.
Jungkook looked at me softly before his gaze flickered to something behind the screen. A clouded expression took over his face before saying, "I'll be there soon baby. I'm gonna sleep before my next turn to drive. I'll text you when we're almost there ok?"
I'd been so spoiled by his constant desire to talk to me that him hanging up while still conscious led to a pit growing in my stomach.
I paced around my room for a few minutes, trying to figure out what the reason for it could be until my phone dinged.
"Sorry baby, Yoongi called and Jimin was giving me a look. Miss you already."
I never had to play the "what if" game for long with Jungkook, he always gave me the answer without me even having to ask.
A few hours later, he let me know that they were about 30 minutes away.
   Black skinny jeans, combat boots, cropped black lacy top (that did wonders for my boobs if I may say so myself) and leather jacket on - I stumbled out of my front door, down the apartment stairs and into the family car.
   There was music playing on the drive, an album by Bombay Bicycle Club on repeat the whole time. But I couldn't tell you anything else about it. The scenery outside of the car was a smeared watercolor painting and for someone who usually gets lost even with a GPS, the way there felt eerily clear despite never seeing it before. The music formed a protective bubble to carry me along, the lyrics delivering a message that I wouldn't understand until much later on.
   "There's a story which in my eyes shut,
   Could you back me up,
   Could you back me up"
   The drive took a little over half an hour, the music getting harder to hear as I got closer, the sensation in my stomach growing from a pit into a black hole. By the time I pulled up to park on the street outside of their soon to be house, remembering to breathe had turned manual, the feeling in my legs an electrifying buzz instead of anything solid.
   I had beat them there thankfully, so I sat with my car running for a few minutes more. The guitar from Bombay Bicycle Club swirled around my head in ocean waves, the lyrics spiraled through my ears and wrapped up my insides as sentient vines.
   "You can rearrange me now,
   If we wait we can make it somehow
   What you want
   What you want
   Anything you want" - I shut the car off before the next lyrics could begin.
   "You tease this love,
   You care enough".
   Am I just teasing this love? This thing with JK? I do care enough. I care more than enough, these feelings are real, they are, I swear I -
   I had sunk so deep into my feelings that I didn't notice a car pulling up behind me until the horn was honked, effectively scaring the crap out of me and making every muscle in my legs clench up. Stepping out of my car felt like trying to stand as a newborn deer, jello limbs fighting to support my weight. The car windows were tinted and the sun had set quickly - turning the ability to identify who was in the car into a guessing game. Was Jungkook's car the one with tinted windows? It was like I had never seen their car before. I hadn't been texting with the other car and had no idea what their ETA was, this was about the time Jungkook should be here right?
   Right?
   I let hope get the best of me and sucked in air as I walked towards the backseat car door, the one behind the driver's seat. Reached my hand towards the handle and flung the door open with a big, "Hey baby!" and a grin that I hoped looked genuine instead of terrified.
   Lacey's confused face greeted me in return before she burst into a snicker.
   "Um, hey babe! What a greeting, haha, oh my god, wait - Yoong's I'm stuck, push me out." She turned back to look at Yoongi who was out of my sight in the backseat.
   I had frozen as soon as I opened the door. Keeping the grin plastered to my face as if seeing Lacey and Yoongi first wasn't eating a hole in my chest like a ravenous and carnivorous worm.
   The front doors of the matte gray car opened, a yawning Namjoon and Hobi exiting from each side. They reached their arms up towards the sky as they stretched, their eyes crinkling with growing smiles as they turned to face me. In an attempt to get away from Lacey and avoid looking at Yoongi, I threw my arms around Namjoon and let out a little squeal.
   "You made it safe!" I exclaimed, a sense of relief sliding down to quell the black hole that was threatening to consume me from the inside out. My arms clasped around Namjoon's waist and he wrapped his around my shoulders, the enveloping warmth of the hug rising like a force field around me. His giant chest had the same effect as a weighted blanket the moment I turned my head to press against it. Muscular arms squeezed me back into my body, while one of his thumbs stroked up and down - reassuring and soft. Just like him.
   "Thanks for driving out here to welcome us home!" Namjoon spoke the words directly onto the top of my head, his mouth mussing up the top of my hair. Warm breath tingled into my scalp, down my shoulders and spine until I could feel the ground beneath my feet again. Although the grounded feeling didn't last long.
   Noises from the backseat reminded me it wasn't time to relax just yet and I directed my eyes to Hobi through the gap under Namjoon's arms.
   Hobi had his lanky arms stretched out towards me, beckoning me with his hands and a dimpled closed mouth smile spread across his glowing face. He had on a bucket hat, oversized hoodie and baggy jeans - with patterns that nobody else would have been able to pull off beside him.
   Craning my neck, I turned to look up at Namjoon, my cheek squished against his left pec. Giant dimples and the most calming smile greeted me in response, "Go say hey to Hobes - I gotta start getting stuff out of the car." He released me from the hug, reaching one hand up to ruffle my hair before dipping down into the front seat to pop the trunk open.
   Lacey had both feet out of the car and my ears were pricked by Yoongi's deep rumble of a voice. With the most intentional of intentions, I directed my gaze towards Hobi and made a beeline over to him - without Namjoon's arms around me, the ability to feel the ground disappeared, making it feel like I was floating until my arms were around Hobi's neck.
   Long, slender arms wrapped around my waist and lifted me up - spinning me in a circle while Hobi let out a string of excited sound effects. We both kept giggling and the vibrations of his laugh must have been set to a healing frequency because I've never felt so light while being picked up before.
   "The drive was SO long! I can't believe we're here! Tae said they'll be here in a minute. Oh my god, oh my GOD, can you believe this is finally happening??" Hobi set me down in front of him, keeping his hands around my hips as he bounced up and down.
   I bounced up and down with him, trying not to press my nails into his shoulders and betray my excitement with the complex emotions lying underneath.
   "I know, I know!! You made it! We can hang out again!" I bubbled back.
   My brown eyes locked in to his, starting a secret and wordless conversation that went something like:
Hobi: "Are you doing okay girl? I mean, they're right there..."
Me: "Of course I'm not fucking okay! JK isn't here yet and I called Lacey babe! I can't even look at Yoongi!
Hobi: "You're gonna have to soon, and JK is almost here. Lacey is going to play nice in front of everyone don't worry, but don't give her a reason."
Me: "Ok cool thanks, yeah, that is SUPER HELPFUL HOBI!"
Hobi: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You got this! The rest of us are here don't worry!"
   That did help with the worry.
   At least, until I developed super-hearing as Yoongi got out of the car. Every movement he made, every sound that came from him, was like it was being fed directly into my eardrum through an amplifier. I could hear him breathe, hear the sound his hair made as it fell in front of his face when he looked down to step out of the car.
And I wasn't even looking at him.Â
  Â
   Instead, I continued clinging onto Hobi with a vice grip while he patted my hips and gave me encouraging nods.
  "1, 2, 3 - you're off!" He whispered as he pulled me in for one last squeeze. Spinning me around to face Lacey and Yoongi as soon as the countdown was over.
   My heart was beating so hard, it felt like it was pumping bile back up my throat and onto my tongue. It took a moment for my eyes to focus, or maybe I didn't want them to.
   But when they did, Yoongi's long black hair and round face were crystal clear, even in my peripheral vision. His dark brown eyes were laser focused on me, meltingly beautiful and with a sense of determination that didn't match the rest of his body language.
   One arm was around Lacey, who stood next to him, fidgeting and with an upset look on her face. His other arm was trying to find a pocket to stuff his phone into. He could've looked down. It would've made it much easier to do if he had looked down, but he didn't. I couldn't tell you how long it was for, but he never stopped looking at me. Moments kept passing, the distance between the curb and the street continuously morphing from too close to too far away.
   Why didn't he stop looking at me?
   The sound of Jungkook, Jimin and Tae's car snapped us out of the trance we were in. The frown that had taken over Lacey's face dissipated, replaced with a sweet smile and syrupy voice. She turned to Yoongi, tucking hair behind his ear and kissing him on the corner of his mouth with big bambi eyes. Yoongi kept his eyes on the ground, nodding as Lacey spoke to him in a low voice. Her words jumbled together in my ears as I glanced towards the black car and saw the outlines of 3 heads, one moving considerably more than the others.
   "Girl! Now that I'm out of the car finally- get over here, we missed you so much!" She waved me over, scanning my face intensely and not once looking over to see Yoongi's reaction.
   But I did.
   Maybe that was my first mistake. Where it all started. It couldn't be helped though - Closer? To Yoongi? Was that allowed? I hadn't even seen Jungkook yet, wouldn't that be inconsiderate? How could I touch Yoongi first? What would happen? If I touched Yoongi first? He shouldn't be first, he couldn't be. Especially not while he's standing there with someone else, touching someone else - I mean, wait - hang on -
   "BABY!" Jungkook's voice bellowed out so loudly, the rest of us visibly flinched before dispersed chuckles from Namjoon, Hobi and I. Behind the driver's seat of the car that had just pulled up, the window had been rolled down - JK's dimples, inky curls and perfect roly-poly nose poked out, an arm waving at me furiously. Everything else faded away as soon as I saw him, the only thing on my mind being to get into his arms as soon as possible. I waved back with a blush before turning to excuse myself from the couple before me.
   Lacey had crossed her arms with a scowl and Yoongi had turned to look up at the sky, the neighborhood - anywhere besides at what was going on around him. The space in my heart made for Yoongi pushed back against the rest, trying to expand.
   It didn't last long though.
That slight falter in my chest was quickly snuffed out by the literal wind being knocked out of me.
   In the moment I had turned to glance at Lacey and Yoongi, Jungkook had exited the car, running towards me at full speed before tackling me to the ground.
   A big, strong hand covered the back of my head, palm pressing into skull, as the other pushed into my lower back - pressing me against his body as we fell. If the full weight of my body landing on top of him caused him any trouble, the only way he showed it was a small "ack!" the moment it happened.
   Zero recovery time needed.
   It felt like less than a second.
   And there he was, sitting on the grass by the edge of the curb.
My handsome man. The bunny to my bunny. Mine, all mine. Who I belonged to.
   With no thought at all, my legs straddled his lap, hands gliding with their own agenda up his neck so fingers could grip into thick, dark hair. One tattooed arm held me pressed against him like it was life or death if he loosened it at all. The pounding of our hearts thudded ferociously through layers of muscles, fat, skin and clothes - screaming to reach the other. His other hand held onto one of my hips, pressed down to make me sit my full weight on him and even then, I still felt weightless.
   Breathless and breathing too hard, we looked at each other. Taking it all in. The feeling of each other's real flesh and blood filling up our senses, attempting to commit it all to memory.
   Both of my hands released their grip from his hair to hold the sides of his face.
   We were pressed so tightly against each other that I could feel his heartbeat pick up and hear the shakiness in his voice. How it betrayed the conviction of his words as he murmured, "I'm gonna kiss you in front of everyone.".
   I leaned in slowly, trying not to notice the way that all of my limbs were trembling.
   "Not if I kiss you first." I whispered, breaking my gaze away from the perfect shape of his mouth to look him in the eyes.
   Without any hesitation, he lifted his chin to bring his lips to mine, pressing them so decidedly into a kiss that I briefly wondered if I had ever been kissed on purpose before.
   My body didn't erupt with butterflies or tingles or that drop in my stomach that I'd learned to associate with desire.
   Instead, I felt it opening. Like floodgates, with hunger. Welcoming him in while simultaneously wanting to consume and be consumed by him. Being so aware of where his body touched mine that every place it did felt on fire, and every place it didn't felt deprived of oxygen. Our eyes stayed closed for the most part, focused on taking in the feeling. Whenever they did open, the physical pang of desire almost hurt, banging out like a drum that reverberated through every part of our biochemical make up.
  Â
   And it wasn't too much for him.
   It was mutual.
   It was matched.
   Encouraged.
   Fueled.
   We were both the flame and the gasoline. Nobody could stop us, least of all each other.
   I completely forgot where we were. Who was around us. That we were sitting on the curb. Or that I hadn't said hi to Jimin, Tae or Yoongi yet.
  Â
   I don't remember how long we were kissing, if we were full blown making out or if anyone asked us to stop. I do, however, remember making a noise that I had never made before and the groan that came out of Jungkook that made us snap out of our lust-filled daze.
   Thwack.
While Jungkook and I were sat there, recuperating and processing - Jimin had walked up and smacked him in the back of the head.
   "I cannot wait for you to have your own room guys. For real. What the hell. It's not gonna be the same but come say hi to me lovely." Jimin's voice was playfully masking a command. JK fingers pressed into my hip like a release button and the realization of what we had done after looking at each other sunk in, turning us both beetroot red.
   I reached my hand towards Jimin to help pull me up, the bones in my legs not yet solidified. Jungkook sprung up behind me, guiding me by the waist as I stood before mumbling some "um's" and "uh's" and heading to their car. I was too scared to turn and face the others and pulled Jimin into a hug with the best "I missed you so much!" I could muster instead.
   Jimin's embrace was gentle. Like being covered with a cedar and honey scented cloud.
   "I missed you too lovely. I knew he was gonna jump ya but damn. Have you said hi to everyone yet?" Jimin's voice sang into my ear with the lightest hint of criticism. The sudden awareness of Hobi's glare stung the side of my face and I winced in Jimin's arms. His responsive squeeze giving some comfort that I hadn't ruined their arrival. At least not completely.
   Tae's silky voice floated over my head - a lifeline attached to a buoy that I was desperate to grab onto.
   "Well, can you blame the poor dear? We've been trapped! Stuck! Relying on modern technology like it's some accommodation for the prison that is distance." The dramatic way Tae spoke broke the tension and laughter burst out of me, spurred on by Jimin's equally dramatic eye roll.
   "My darling, I've missed you so. Did my letters find you well?" I drawled out, breaking away from Jimin to make my way to Tae, who promptly collapsed into my arms with the back of one hand pressed against his forehead. After a fit of nervous giggles over nearly dropping him, he stood up and flung his arms around my neck. Pressing kisses against my cheek as he rocked us side to side.
   "Some nights your words were the only things keeping me warm, my poetic angel." Tae declared his sentiment with a hand under my chin, his velvet brown eyes soft and sparkling.
   "Ahem, help me with the stuff T." Jungkook grumbled as he leaned against the back of the car next to the open trunk. His glare was focused on Tae's hands but melted into a puppy-eyed pout once he caught me noticing. Tae patted me on the cheek then jerked his chin up to acknowledge Yoongi and Lacey. Spinning me around to face them as he walked off to join Jungkook.
   Lacey's arms were still crossed, the emotions that made her scowl earlier now thinly veiled with a tight lipped smile. Yoongi on the other hand, looked like he had gotten into three fist fights and told he was getting drafted since I had last looked at him. His hair had become disheveled, a blank look on his face had taken over the determined one and his broad shoulders had sunken down. Like he had been defeated.
   Why did he look so defeated?
   Standing there with Lacey.
As if he had been hoping- no, that's not right. As if he had been expecting? Something like that.
   As if he had been expecting me to be so overwhelmed by seeing him again that I would've stopped anything from occurring with Jungkook. We both chose other people. This is the reality. This is where our actions had led us to. Was he operating under the assumption that things were different? That I was a mess without him? Like this was some Bella and Edward bullshit? Why was this making me so mad?
   "Wow boo! I wish this one would greet me like that!" Lacey joked, elbowing Yoongi and breaking her crossed arms stance to walk over to me. I pushed out a laugh and stepped off the curb to come towards her, opening my arms to pull her into a hug. For a quick second, and only a quick second, she buried her face into my shoulder before pulling away. Seeking comfort. From me of all people? It didn't make any sense. At least, not until I noticed a pleading look in her eyes that was both familiar and disorienting. It was one I would grow to understand too well over the next few years.
   And I think I knew the reason for that look, even back then. No matter how much I'd like to pretend otherwise. I think I knew as soon as my eyes drifted from her rounded, light hazel-green eyes to Yoongi's feline, nearly black ones.
   There was hope in his eyes.
Or maybe it was a reflection of the hope in mine.
Either way.
   Something was there.
   And the hands he had shoved into his pants pockets couldn't hide the way his arms jerked as I stepped towards him. As if to hug me. As if he wanted me in his arms. As if he knew I wanted the same.
Was it okay to hug him?
In front of Jungkook and Lacey?
In front of everybody?
   I didn't think much more about it.
My arms were around him and his were around me in less than a second. Heat blooming from the place where our stomachs touched just like it did before.
He was so real.
So beautifully and painfully, real.
   Like physics and atoms and the building blocks of life, this world was made to hold Yoongi just as much as this world would not exist without him.
   Fingers twitched against the middle of my back and my own reflexively grabbed at his shirt, bunching it into my grip and getting closer to the warmth of his skin.
   Too close.
   We both jumped back, simultaneously too aware of the world around us and unable to look at anything besides each other.
   I remember saying either out loud, or in my head, "Welcome home Yoongi.". But connecting my thoughts to my mouth was clogged up with sludge. It felt like I didn't need to say anything out loud anyway - he knew. I both loved and hated that he always knew.
   Yoongi answered, either out loud or through the vibration connecting us that was nearly singing with electricity. His words echoed in my head and the air around us as our eyes refused to waiver from each other.
   "It's good to be home," he said, "I mean, it's good to be home here. With you.".
#bts angst#bts x reader#yoongi angst#yoongi fic#bts fanfic#bts yoongi#bts fanfiction#bts imagines#bts x you#yoongi x you#yoongi fanfiction#yoongi fanfic#yoongi x reader#yoongi imagines#jungkook slowburn#jungkook x you#jungkook angst#jungkook fic#bts slowburn#yoongi slowburn#jungkook imagine#bts fanfction
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â â đșđźđđŻđČ đđ”đ¶đ đđ¶đșđČ â ; đđ„đđŹđĄ đđąđđđąđšđ§
â lilia vanrouge x gn! reader â he's lived a long life and faced many experiences, but maybe this time, he'll find himself yearning to experience this long-lost feeling once more. (f/n means first name)
this work may contain spoilers for chapter 7, diasomniaâs arc.
do not steal or translate without my permission.
lilia has lived for about 700 years. 700 years is a lot as it brought him several experiences and knowledge that are all unique to him. not to mention, raising kids was one of the things he never expected to do, and yet he already had.
and having you by his side was something he never expected in his 700-year lifespan as well. at first, he thinks you're a total sweetheart, going out of your way to help him and accompany him any time so he won't feel lonely.
until those thoughts are buried deep into his mind and his feelings have developed from familial and platonic to something a little more... like a memory he has long forgotten yet remembered once more.
it has been so long since he felt butterflies or felt the drive in his heart to see you every day, and every single time he feels his heart thumping in his chest at the sight of you, he reminds himself that he shouldn't.
the last time he loved someone, he lost them, and he could not risk repeating the same act with you only to eventually lose you in the end.
but maybe this time, he'll try to take the risk.
© twstgarden 2024 || please do not steal, translate without my permission, or use this to train a.i.
#trying out flash fictions#which is about more than a hundred words#and decided to try it with lilia#love that old man#he makes me feel some things that I find hard to explain#like he's so ?????????? <3333#he feels like home y'know?#i love diasomnia :D#twst#Disney twst#disney twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland#lilia vanrouge#lilia vanrouge x reader#twst x reader#twst fluff#twst drabbles#twst fic#twst wonderland#was supposed to be a drabble but writing this got me carried away and here we are
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i know you say youre not a rp acc and not kin, but i wanted to ask, your art of medic, are you depicting yourself? should i refer to medic in your art as you? example "i love how you drew yourself in this"? idkk i dont wanna poke around but i wanted to be sure im referring to you correctly??
this is a good question, just one that im not sure i will ever be able to give a satisfying answer to. i did answer something similar here that im definitely not an rp account but im neutral on kinning, because the term seems so broad that i cant say for certain if thats whats going on. maybe! or maybe not! hmm and then my art of medic.. yes it is depicting myself. but i also recognize that medic is a fictional character, so it doesnt bother me if people refer to medic as medic! im just drawing him, it doesnt have to be more complicated than that. if that makes sense. its all one in the same to me so it doesnt matter and you dont have to worry about it :]âŹ
#its in the same way i will make posts talking about medic sometimes or will sometimes answer asks in third person#im referring to myself because thats me but#i do understand that hes also fictional character from the video game Team Fortress 2#and i know people have their own interpretations and ocs and whatever else#i try not to think about it too hard or i will only give myself a headache#tl;dr dont worry about changing the way you refer to medic on my posts i know what people are talking about#i will know what you mean#it does not bother me#i think i would actually find it Worse if someone refered to Only my drawings of medic as 'you/yourself'#but then talked about every other medic thing as normal#is this comprehensible...? i hope so#it feels like there was another thing i was going to say also.. but ive already forgotten it oh well#see i dont bite at least not at first#thank youu for the ask my friend!!#its just a difficult question to answer because i dont fully understand what is happening either#there has to be some way for me to explain this better i just havent found it yet#THE POINT IS thank you for asking and i dont mind please talk about things as you normally would. smiles ^^#the doc is in#replies from the void
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every time someone dislikes a character I consider autistic because they seem highly autistic coded, especially if it's "for no reason/just a feeling" I get so incredibly sad and offended because I just know it's because they have autistic traits. I know these people would do the same to me and other irl autistic people. and that's always such a shitty reason to dislike/hate someone.
I just know they would hate us autistic for "no reason" and it would be because people for some reason dislike autistic people based on some obscure random feeling and they can't even tell you why. they often see us as "broken neurotypicals" or we give them that "uncanny valley robot" feeling (especially for high masking autistic people) or whatever it is. they often think we appear "normal" in every way, except something is "off" to them, they they dislike and bully us for it. it's not our fault we were born with these traits/disability so it's not fair to hate us for it!
at least that's how it always seems to go for me and everyone autistic person i've personally know. especially ones better at masking. (I personally was never good at masking and was seen as a "weird freak" who deserves bullying no matter what I did, especially since i was unable to talk 95% of the time as a kid) the mask still never truly hides that "off feeling" people get. i'm sure other autistic people experience this too, but people always dislike me or even hate me and usually can't ever seem to give me a reason. friends will suddenly turn on me and not give me a reason. (especially if we always had text based communication online and then we meet irl the first time. they suddenly turn on or abandon me after that). if I can get a reason out of someone, it's always because *insert random autistic trait here* so I assume it's the same with every case
if this happens irl, it has to be the same for fictional characters, right? it's the only explanation I can think of. I see stuff like this all the time. the autistic coded characters are always getting hate for seemingly no reason like this:
meanwhile, the autistic coded characters always become my favorites because I understand them better and relate
#autism#autistic#actually autistic#neurodivergent#people probably do this with other neurodivergencies too tbh#hsr#dan heng#ill tag that too in case other autistic dan heng enjoyers are out there and feel the same đđ€đ#i have seen almost the same exact post about albedo before too. hes also very autistic coded#probably wouldn't be hard to find one about lynette since shes very autistic. and others too. sighs. its so sad. let us live#i don't care if someone dislikes me or a character. its when that reason is from being autistic#whether they conciously know or not that makes me upset. disliking someone for a trait/disability they cant help just sucks#even if its just me projecting onto a foctional character who i can relate to a lot because they feel so similar to me#when irl people are all so different and weird to me and treat ME like the weird alien they dislike âfor no reasonâ sighsssss#again i dont care if someone dislikes a character (or me) i just hate when its for autistic characteristics even if they k ow why#they dont know why*#that may not even be it for the screenshoted people. but its SO GODDAMN COMMON for people to dislike autistic people#âFOR NO REASONâ or some obscure feeling they cant explain. so that is the logical explanation#i hardly ever see people dislike a character (or me / other irl autistic people) for any other legitimate reason that's not autistic traits#its always things like âtheyre annoying/too awkward and quit/too weird/do and say weird stuff/give me a weird feeling/lack personality/#quiet* not quit#/too obsessed with *special interest*/bad at communicating/etcâ and not legitimate reasons like they're not a good person or something#where was i going with this ramble....got distracted and forgot#lee rambles#lee is confused and upset about these things!!!!
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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not sure how exactly to describe it but it's really upsetting to see autism become...like a popular? disorder. it's good that people are getting diagnoses that may help them, but it also means they say they do something that's completely unrelated to the disorder and people who just want to feel special/included jump on it. this all to say I think it is possible I'm autistic, but a lot of the experiences described just seem too common? things that I would consider perfectly normal, that if I were to describe it to just about anyone they'd say they relate and people are claiming they're autistic experiences. it's making it very confusing. am I autistic or just being an asshole who wants to be part of a group?
#i read the dsm5 and a lot seemed to fit and explain some things#but other very characteristic stuff didnt really apply#its like the new anxiety#if that makes sense#people say they have anxiety when they have normal atress responses#when for me anxiety is being conciously illogical#knowing there isnt a monster under my bed but believing there is#knowing someone doesnt randomly hate me but believing they do#knowing my dog isnt actively dying but believing he is#idk#i think part of it is just feeling like *something* is wrong and wanting something to explain it other than me just being fuckin weird#supposedly i have bipolar ii but that doesnt explain everything and tbh im not entirely sold on hlthe diagnosis#you mention a family history of it and it feels like professionals just phone it in from there#then i was reading autistic experiences and the dsm5 and it makes sense but i dont wanna come across as an asshole for bringing it up#and its hard to find reliable and non-conflicting resources#help
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the best teacher
Ê synopsis: Nanami finds out you've never had an orgasm and he's determiend to show you exactly how to do it
Ê pairing: Kento Nanami x reader
Ê cont: fem reader, established relationship, inexperienced reader, he talks you through it, fingering, clit play, dirty talk, multiple orgasms, masturbation, protected sex, prone bone, rough sex, big dick Nanami, fluff
Ê note: congrats @l0rdgeosupport3rr on winning my spur of the moment fic giveaway, i hope u enjoy <3
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI (18+)
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"Are you nervous?" Nanami asked, his deep voice right against your ear seeping into your head and making your brain turn to mush. His hands dragging from your thighs to caressing your torso was quite distracting as he sat behind you, your back against his hard chest. You could feel his excitement poking you in your lower back, making you wonder how much he was holding back right now.
You had confessed to your boyfriend Nanami when a makeout session got a little hot and heavy, that you had actually never touched yourself. Well, not successfully anyway. It took everything in you not to cower away when he sat you down in front of him and made you explain exactly what you were having trouble with. You confessed you wanted to take things further with him, but you were nervous. Every time you touched yourself, you would bring yourself right up to the edge, but you could never manage to push yourself over the ledge and feel that bliss everyone always talked about.Â
Nanami, the ever-loving boyfriend he was, generously offered to help you out. Nanami hadn't had many partners before you, but he did read romantic and erotic books in his free time and maybe went a little above and beyond in biology class when the topic of discussion was women's bodies. Kento never wanted to make anyone uncomfortable with his actions if he were ever to be intimate with someone, so he studied like hell to make sure that never happened.Â
"Don't be nervous, sweetheart. I'm gonna walk you through it okay? Just leave everything to me, all you gotta do is relax and pay attention." Nanami whispered against your ear, his reassuring words making your body relax and melt against his. "Good girl." He praised when he felt your shoulders go slack against him. Nanami continued to rub his hands up and down your soft thighs, one hand caressed your stomach and hips and the other crept up your skin to squeeze your breast through your bra, making you bite back a moan on instinct.
Nanami noticed you holding back your sounds, and dragged his other hand to massage both breasts now, squishing them together and kneading them in his large palms. You rolled your head to the side and tucked your face in Nanami's neck, pressing your thighs together as the stimulation sent jolts of your head to the bundle of nerves between your thighs.Â
"You don't have to hold back your voice with me. You can be as loud as you want, just let it out. I know it feels good." Nanami praised, crossing his hands over your chest and sliding his right hand under the cup of your left breast, and his left hand under your right one. Nanami felt his cock twitch when you released little gasps and moans into his neck, your breath tickling his skin.Â
He resisted the urge to fuck his hips against your ass, not wanting you to think he was trying to rush you. The older man found your hardened buds under your bra and pinched them softly, rubbing and twirling them with his fingers. Both of your hands shot up to grab his thick wrists for comfort as you squirmed against him, rubbing your thighs together to bring yourself some relief.Â
"Does that feel good, honey?" Nanami asked, looking down at you from under his lashes. He couldn't see your face, as you were still hiding it in the crook of his neck, but your noises and the way you nodded rapidly agaisnt him were good enough. "Does your cunt ache?" Nanami asked, licking his lips as he watched you hump against your thighs. "Mhm." You responded, your body jolting and shaking against his as he rubbed your nipples expertly with his large fingers.Â
"Good, you should always warm your body up first before you touch yourself. Don't rush, get excited. Wait until you can feel yourself dripping." Nanami instructed, his vulgar words making you want to shy away from him even more. "I need to know you're listening. Do you understand?" He asked, pausing his ministrations until you gave him a proper answer so he knew his teachings would not be in vain.Â
"Yes." You whispered against him, making Nanami crack an almost unnoticeable smile at your bashfulness. "I'm gonna rub your pussy over your panties now," Nanami warned you, waiting for a nod of understanding before he pulled one of his hands out from your bra and started dragging it down your body. He flipped his hand and just barely ghosted his fingertips down your body, dragging them down your skin as he made his way to your thighs, leaving goosebumps in his wake.
Little gasps and choked breaths from you made him pull his bottom lip between his teeth as he tried to restrain himself. "Part your legs for me, please," Nanami asked sweetly, waiting until your legs were spread before he hooked his legs over yours, making it so that if the stimulation got too much, you couldn't snap your legs on his hand while he got you off. "H-haah.." Your breathing seemed so loud in the now suddenly quiet room and Nanami did the same motion he did down your body, just teasing his fingers over your knees and down to your sensitive inner thighs.
"Kento..." You whined breathlessly, rocking your hips into the air out of impatience. Nanami's resolve faltered for a moment when your ass started grinding back on his cock, giving him the perfect stimulation. His eyes rolled back in his head as he lost himself for a moment, relishing in the pleasure. "You want me to touch your pussy?" He teased, his voice deeper and more aroused sounding than before as his lips tickled over your ear.Â
You slightly leaned your head away from him, exposing a bit of your neck and the side of your face to his lips. Kento pressed a featherlight kiss to your ear, making goosebumps raise over your arms before he spread his fingers like a V and teased them around your cunt. He let out a sigh with you, his cock twitching when your hands squeezed his wrist that held your tit tighter.
"Please Ken, I need it." You begged, spreading your legs further to emphasize your words. You couldn't take your eyes off his hand that teased over your pussy, not yet touching you where you needed him the most. Kento massaged your breast in circles, using the fat to calm himself down when he felt a bead of pre-cum leak from his aching dick into his boxers.Â
"Is this what you need?" He whispered sensually against the shell of your ear as he pressed his thick middle finger along the center of your pussy, dragging it against your clit, down to your needy hole, which had now soaked your panties with your juices. You let out a gasp and tipped your head back against his shoulder, exposing your neck as your eyes fell shut in bliss.Â
"This spot here is important," Nanami spoke between kisses against your throat, his eyes half closed in bliss. He tapped his thick middle finger against your clit, before he pressed down on it and started rubbing it in circles. "Oh fuck-" You gaped, your chest inflating as you sucked a deep breath into your lungs. "You need to touch your clit like this if you want to cum." Nanami instructed, making sure you were nodding after every sentence he spoke.
"Uh-huh, u-u-huh." You moaned, nodding dumbly as you relished in the feeling of Kento touching you through your panties, your greedy hole clenching around nothing at his touch. "How do you touch yourself? You said you have trouble finishing, are you touching your clit like this?" Nanami asked, making your face rush with blood. Your cheeks felt hot as you opened your eyes and looked between your legs. Nanami watched you watch him from the corner of his eye, waiting for you to speak.Â
"Y-yeah." You tried to speak, your voice coming out breathier and more stuttered than you thought it would. "It gets really i-intense the closer I get to..." You trailed off, darting your eyes to the side of the room. Nanami raised his eyebrows and rubbed his fingers faster over your clothed clit, his cock throbbing when your voice hitched and your moans raised in volume. "You can say it. It gets intense before you orgasm, right? That's why you can't finish, your body goes rigid, doesn't it?" Nanami said, hitting the nail right on the head.Â
You nodded at his words, taking a moment to greedily take air into your lungs when Nanami ceased his rubbing and nonchalantly started sliding his fingers underneath your panties. "Y-yeah, f-fuuuck." You began to speak again when your words were cut short as Nanami started rubbing his bare fingers against your hot, wet clit. It felt ten thousand times better than him teasing you through your panties.
"It feels so much better after teasing yourself right? Your body is worked up and ready for more, it's aching for it. You nodded, your chest rising and falling rapidly as you whined into the room, your moans echoing off the walls. You were unable to stop your hips from jerking into his hand when he started rubbing your clit with two fingers more rapidly.
"I-its you," You gasped, your nails digging into his thick wrist that held your tit. Nanami cocked his head in confusion, waiting for you to elaborate. "Y-you, it feels good b-because it's you," Nanami swears at that moment his brain short circuits as he fights every neuron in his body to not send signals to his dick to cream his pants right now. "You really..." Nanami trails off as he slides his hand out from your bra and grabs your neck, tipping your head to look up at him.
His lips collide with yours in a passionate, needy kiss. His lips move quickly, wasting no time before his tongue was mingling with your own, making your already needy pussy throb for more. "Gonna put my fingers in." He moaned between kisses, his eyebrows furrowing when your humping got more needy, and your ass rubbed his cock just right from behind.Â
Your lips separated from his own with a gasp as he slid a finger down to your tight, sopping entrance and pressed it in. Both of you moaned in tandem when he slowly slid his finger in till the base of his finger was pressed against your entrance. "I'm gonna need you to put what you learned to use for me sweetheart, can you do that?" Kento asked, releasing the hold he had on your neck, settling just to rest his hand on your throat. You nodded at him, feeling yourself pulse and squeeze around his thick finger that stayed still inside you.
"Go ahead and rub your clit for me, small circles, just like I did." He instructed. You reached your shaky hand into your panties with his own and found your clit which was already wet with your juices from Nanami's previous touches. "Good girl." Nanami praised you as you followed his instructions. The second you started moving, Nanami did do. "A-ahhh-" Moan after moan fell from your lips when Nanami started curling his finger inside you and thrusting at the same time, sending intense shocks all throughout your body.
"This is your g-spot, some people can cum just from touching this spot here, but most of them need clitoral stimulation as well," Nanami said. You did your best to nod along with his words and listen in general, but the stimulation was so intense, it was making your head spin. "Ah ah, keep moving your finger." Kento tsked, slowing down his own when he saw how lazy and slow your fingers got while rubbing against your clit. It wasn't your fault he was making your body go slack.Â
"We have plenty of time to figure out if you can cum just from penetration another day." Nanami voices, pressing his soft lips against your cheek in a kiss. "Right now I'm focused on bringing you to orgasm." The way in which Nanami so causally talked about these things made you dizzy. Sex and things of the like were usually taboo and embarrassing to talk about, but not to Nanami, and he was determined to make you feel the same way about it.
"I'm gonna add another finger okay?" Kento asked, slowing down his thrusting inside you. "Yeah, uh-huh." You responded, half listening to his words. Nanami smiled to himself as he watched your eyes fall shut, your finger now rapidly rubbing circles against your clit shamelessly as you lost yourself in the pleasure. Nanami pulled the first finger out and slowly reinserted it with a second one. He spread his fingers a bit as he slid them inside your warm walls, trying to stretch you out so you were able to take something bigger later on.
You winced in discomfort when he scissored his fingers inside you, but that discomfort soon diminished when he curled his fingers against that same spongey spot against your walls, making you see stars behind your eyes. "H-harder, Ken fuck me harder." The man behind you was unable to suppress the groan that slipped between his lips from your shameless words, his hips canting against your ass, rubbing his cock against the inside of his boxers at your shameless words.Â
"For a virgin, you're surprisingly needy. You sure you haven't done this before? Did you just want me to baby you?" Kento teased, picking up the pace of his fingers as he spoke. Moan after wonton moan spilled from your lips, your body thrashing and jolting against his as the pleasure from your g-spot and clit combined to form a ball inside your stomach. "N-no, I haven't I- promise." You stuttered out, gasps and whines cutting you off as you got closer and closer to the edge.Â
"I'm teasing, sweetheart. You are close though aren't you?" He asked, noticing how your pussy clenched around his fingers more frequently. "You gonna cum for me? Gonna orgasm all over my fingers?" Nanami groaned, the squelching from your sopping cunt going straight to his neglected dick. "F-fuck yes, I- I think so y-yes." You cried, thrashing your head from side to side agaisnt his chest.
Your hand that still held his hand against your throat squeezed tightly. He noticed your fingers slow down on your clit at the same time, a telltale sign that you were close. Nanami had a feeling you needed both clitoral stimulation and penetration to get you to reach your high, and he was determined to make you finish. "Doing so well my love, keep rubbing your clit, you can't stop, okay? I know you can do it, almost there." Nanami's reassuring words helped you focus on putting all your strength into your finger that rubbed back and forth agaisnt your clit.
Suddenly, your chin was being pushed up and Nanami's lips connected with yours in a sloppy kiss once more. Kento groaned into your mouth at the feeling of your pussy constricting his fingers. His wrist started to ache from curling his fingers against your tight walls so repetitively, but he knew if he stopped, you wouldn't cum. Your desperate whines and moans against his lips aided in fueling his tired wrist to continue on and finish you off.
"Kento- I'm- I'm cumming-" You whined high pitched against his lips, your legs shaking as they fought to push against his own that held yours open. It was getting harder and harder to kiss him back as your body went ridged, your mouth opening in a wide O, and your eyes rolling back in your head. "That's it, right there, yeah-" Nanami's own jaw dropped and he watched with awe as your body convulsed with pleasure.
He moaned with you as if he was cumming himself, his body curling forward with yours as you came, your legs shaking and cunt trambling around his fingers. Your own hand had stopped rubbing your clit, just resting against it as you came, no longer having the strength to touch yourself as you orgasm for the first time. Nanami continued curling his fingers against your g-spot until the spasms had stopped and you slapped his wrist with your hand, letting him know it was getting to be too intense.Â
"Fuck- fuck-" You gasped, your body stayed curled over yourself as Nanami leaned back, separating his chest from your back. The sound of a zipper followed by rustling, then skin rubbing on skin brought you down from your high completely. When you tried to turn around, Nanami pushed your upper back down again, forcing you to stay bent over like you were. You could hear his heavy breathing and gasps from behind you. You knew exactly what he was doing.Â
Leaning forward, you placed your hands on the bed in front of you and spun around, sitting on your knees between Nanami's thighs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you did so well." Nanami praised, looking into your eyes as he stroked himself off. Your eyes trailed down to his thick cock, and you gasped in awe at the size of his cock and how wet and flushed it was. He must've been really holding back.Â
Nanami's large hand caressing the side of your face brought your attention back to his eyes, away from the mess that was between his legs. "Don't worry, I'm almost done. Just couldn't take it anymore." Nanami rushed through his words, obviously drunk off your orgasm. Your heart was racing out of your chest. You wanted to help him but you had no idea how to. It seemed unfair for you to get off with his help and not give him the same treatment in return.
A moment of confidence washed over you, and you reached out to grab his wrist, stopping him from touching himself. "Sweetheart really, I'm almost there, it's oka-" "Use my pussy." Your words hit Nanami like a freight train. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. He squeezed the base of his cock tightly to prevent himself from busting a nut all over himself right then in there from your words alone.Â
"What?" Nanami asked, his eyebrows furrowing together. "You can fuck me." You said again, nodding at him. "You... you stretched me out, right? I can take it." Nanami swallowed hard and pulled his lip between his teeth, his head knocking back against the pillows for a moment as he gathered his thoughts. He didn't want to pressure you into doing something you weren't ready for, although you seemed to really want it.Â
Nanami released his cock and cradled your face with both hands, making you look into his eyes. "Are you sure?" He asked, summiting to the idea surprisingly quickly, you were expecting a little more pushback. "I'm sure." You nodded, placing your hands over his own that held your face. Nanami's cock twitched, bobbing heavily between his legs in the open air, hastily pulled out from his boxers and pants. "Then... please lay flat on the bed with your stomach against the sheets.
Your heart raced as you listened to Nanami rip the condom package open behind you. The pillow he stuffed under your hips before you laid down was putting a nice pressure on your pelvis, making you squirm in anticipation. A large hand pressing into the sheets by your head brought you back to reality. You saw the shadow of Nanami's much larger figure behind yours as he hovered over your body, stroking his cock over your ass.
"Keep your thighs together, you can even cross your ankles over one another, I read that feels good for some women." You felt like cumming already. Nanami's show of intelligence about the female body made you want to scream, but you settled on nodding, wrapping your arms around the pillow under your head for support as you let out a noise of understanding.Â
"If it becomes too much or you need to stop at any point, let me know," Nanami instructed, waiting until he heard a verbal answer from you before he readied himself. Nanami took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes, reminding himself not to get carried away or be too hard with you. "Okay, relax for me," Nanami instructed. His large hand gripped your thigh to pull your ass to the side so he could get a better view of your pussy from the back as he prepared himself to put it in.Â
"Nanami, I can take it. I'm not going to break." You whispered into the pillow, words Nanami made sure not to miss. You closed your eyes when you felt Nanami's chest tickle against your back. A kiss was pressed against your temple, making you shut your eyes as the kiss was lasting. "Thank you, sweetheart. You always take such good care of me." Nanami whispered into your ear as he rubbed his cock agaisnt your hole.
You felt a heat rush over your skin at the feeling of his hard cock touching your cunt. It felt weird, hot, hotter than you imagined. Nanami gripped his cock hard at the base and pressed his fat tip against your hole, thrusting his hips forward against your ass slowly as he inserted his cock inside you. The two of you gasped in tandem when his tip penetrated your walls and his cock split you open.
Nanami watched as your eyes rolled back in your head, your pussy clenching and squeezing mercilessly around him. "Please, r-relax your cunt honey, I can't get inside you if you're like this," Nanami begged, feeling his orgasm build up inside himself already. It had been a while since he last got laid... a long while, he knew he wasn't going to last long, but neither were you, so it would work out perfectly.Â
"It's not me- y-you're so big." You whined, trying to relax your cunt around him but it didn't seem to do anything at all. Nanami bit his lip at your words and dropped his chin to look at where the two of you were connected, his cock throbbing against your walls at the sight of your tiny cunt sucking him in perfectly. "Yeah? My cock is big?" Nanami teased, his voice deep and raspy as he fully pressed his hips flush against your ass, smiling to himself when you tried to scoot your body up on the bed, trying to escape how deep he was inside you.
"Y-yeah, fuck-" You whined, crossing your ankles over one another. Your clit was being stimulated between your thighs, bringing you the perfect relief as Kento slowly thrust his cock in and out of you. "Can you feel how deep it is inside you?" He asked, emphasizing his words with a mean, hard thrust, his heavy balls slapping against your ass. The way you were squeezing your thighs together made the stimulation and pleasure on his end ten times more intense, as each time he pulled out, his cock was still being squeezed by your ass and thighs pressed together.Â
"'S so deep-" You whined, your eyes rolling back in your head. Nanami's resolve snapped at that moment. You sounded so fucked out and horny, he was unable to stop [ his hips from moving into yours. He quickly found a pace as he thrust his cock inside you, your pussy squelching with every thrust. Each time he fucked his cock inside your walls, it felt like your intestines had to expand to make room for his girth, but it was all rewarded each time he rammed his hard cockhead into your sweet spot so deep inside you.
"Oh god, right there!" You cried, your body jolting when Kento angled his hips in a way that allowed him to slap his cock into the most sensitive part of you with each thrust. Nanami placed his other hand by your head, allowing him more momentum to fuck into you as he was in a steadier position. "Yeah, right here? Is this your sweet spot?" Nanami cooed, feeling his balls throb with the need to fill you up with each thrust.
You nodded dumbly, drool dribbling out of your mouth and onto the pillow from how lax your mouth was. Nanami wanted to kiss you so bad, but he didnt want to move too much and jeopardize the position he was in right now, as he was fucking into you just right. "Do you need me to play with your clit?" Nanami offered, feeling his orgasm creep up on him faster than he expected, even though he knew he wasn't going to last.
"N-no, I'm gonna f-finish like this." You cried, tensing your pelvis and abs as you felt your own high grow closer and closer. Nanami nodded at your words, his eyes darting between your ass that ripped with each thrust and your eyes that rolled back in your head each time he pounded you. Nanami brought his hips back enough to where his cock was almost completely pulled out of you, just his tip remaining inside your walls before he slammed his hips agaisnt your ass, shoving his entire length inside your cunt.
You were unable to speak as your high washed over you unexpectedly like a freight train. Your entire body went tense, and your cunt squeezed impossibly tighter around Nanami's cock like a vice, making him stutter in his thrusts as you came all over his cock. "Oh god-" Nanami groaned, his eyes rolling back in his head and his head dangling limply in front of him as your pussy pulsed rhythmically around him.Â
"I'm cumming, c-cumming-" Nanami did his best to warn you before he finished, but his orgasm caught him off guard much like your own, so he was only able to groan out a small warning before wonton groans and moans were spilling from his lips and his cock shot hot ropes of his seed into the condom. Nanami's body jerked and his abs clenched as he came, hard.
His hips stilled against your own, just twitching and jerking as he came inside you. You could feel his cock kick and throb as he filled up the condom, the warmth from his seed burning your walls and warming you up from the inside out. Kento hissed as he pulled out of your tight cunt, apologizing when you made a sound of discomfort as well. You forced your tired body to roll over to the side to look at Nanami.
The man looked disheveled and exhausted. A deep blush spread across his face and down under the V of his collared shirt, his hair was ruffled and his forehead was dripping with sweat. He looked so focused as he slid the used condom off his softening cock, letting the heavy appendage fall against his thigh as he tied it in a knot and placed it on the edge of the bed for himself to throw away later.Â
He found your eyes once he was finished, a smile gracing his features as he tucked his cock back in his boxers and crawled over to you, wrapping you in his embrace. He rested his head on your chest as you cradled his head with your arms, your legs wrapping around his torso. "You did so well for me, made me feel so good sweetheart, I'm so proud of you."Â
You nuzzled your head against Kento's, feeling your heart swell. "Thank you for trusting me." You said, referring to when you told him you were ready and you could take it. Kento lifted his head and leaned forward to press a kiss against your lips. "Of course my love." He responded. "I need to clean you up soon, but I understand if you need a minute to recover," Nanami said, laying his head back down on your chest.
Although he felt sleepy, he knew he had to fully take care of you first before he let himself drift off. You just lost your virginity and just had an orgasm, you were bound to be a little emotional and more fragile right now. "A few more minutes." You replied, feeling your body melt under the comforting weight of him. You felt so loved and protected as he laid on top of you, pressing kisses to your chest and collarbones.
#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jjk x reader#jjk x y/n#jujutsu kaisen x reader#nanami x you#jjk nanami#nanami smut#jujutsu nanami#jujutsu kaisen nanami#nanami kento#kento nanami#nanamin#nanami x reader#kento x y/n#kento x you#jjk kento#kento smut#kento x reader#jujutsu kento#nanami respects women
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do you believe me now?
in which fem!reader is insecure around spencer until she finally asks him to take matters into his own hands (literally)
series masterlist
18+ (smut) warnings/tags: inexperienced reader, fingering, softdom!spencer my sweet sweet beloved angel, sub reader, praise, you know he talks you through it, brief mention of drinking wine, i think that's it a/n: i hope u guys like this ! slightly different dynamic than my other stuff maybe but let me know what u think!! i love feedback and i love YOU!!!
âYouâre so pretty.â
Itâs the first thing Spencer has said since you two landed on his couch, exhausted from one of Rossiâs extravagant soirĂ©es. It was your first of many, if Spencerâs entire team is to be believed. More nights featuring Italian food and wine you could never afford donât sound half badâbut for now youâre drained. You barely had the energy to kick off your heels and topple into Spencerâs lap five minutes ago. The silk dress still pools over his knees and your hair still falls in curls around your face. He brushes one aside as he continues.Â
âI meanâyou always look beautiful. But Iâve never seen you all done up. Youâre obscenely gorgeous.â
You groan awkwardly, burying your face in Spencerâs collar as your face heats. Taking compliments has never been your strong suit, especially from someone who you perceive to be so out of your league. The relationship you have with Spencer is relatively new, and sometimes you worry delicate; like one slip-up revealing the real you and heâll go running. So far, though, he seems hellbent on proving you wrong.Â
His hand finds the bare skin of your arm, passing up and down gently. âWhy donât you believe me?â
ââŠI do.â
Itâs unconvincing. Spencer scoffs.Â
âNo, you donât. You never believe me when I compliment you.â
The cadence of his voice is light enough, but itâs evident that thereâs some genuine frustration there, lurking just under the surface.Â
Your head lolls over his shoulder and he angles his neck to look down at you. Hair falls over his eyes, and youâd fix it if he didnât look so damn perfect. Everything about him looks intentional, like he was designed by someone who took great pride in their work. Not at all like youâa collage of features and spare parts you guess whatever force created you had lying around. Nothing about you feels on purpose. But thatâs a hard thing to explain.
âIâm sorry. I know itâs impolite. It just feels disingenuous to accept compliments like that.â
Goosebumps arise on your arm where he touches you.
âYou being polite isnât what Iâm concerned about. I just wish I could make you understand that I mean it when I compliment you. Youâd know if I didnât. Iâm a terrible liar.â
That earns a giggle from you. Your boyfriend smiles, sparkling eyes darting over your face like heâs trying to bottle the sound, the memoryâand you realize he probably is. What a terrifying thought. You look away, abashed once more.Â
âIâm a woman, Spencer. Iâm not allowed to like myself. Thatâs the whole thing with Eve and the snake and the apple and whatever. Eternal inescapable shame.â
âAre you trying to justify your self-loathing by making it biblical? You know Iâm the last person that would work on, right? Both as an agnostic-leaning-athiest and someone who thinks youâre beautiful and wonderful.â
Another groan claws its way from your throat as you slide down in embarrassment.Â
âYouâre killing me here, Spencer.â
âWhat can I do to do to make you believe me?â he murmurs, carefully brushing tangles from your hair as you now rest practically prone across his lap. The ceiling light stretches behind him, haloing him in a soft glowing crown and making everything a bit more hazy and tolerable.Â
âItâs not your fight.â Itâs meant to be playfully dramatic, but it hangs from your lips with a painful amount of earnestness.Â
âIf itâs yours, itâs mine. Thatâs kind of the whole point of a relationship, right? Being a team?â
His fingers are nimble and warm between yours as you interlace them, steepling and bumping them together as you speak.Â
âWell, if you know so much, why are you asking me? It sounds like you know exactly what to do to make me magically love myself.â
A dangerous twitch plays at the corner of his lips as he gazes sleepily down at you.Â
âOh, I have a few ideas. But Iâm asking what youâd be comfortable with.â
âWhoa!â you blurt, giggling self-consciously, covering your face with your (and inadvertently one of his) hands. âWhere did that come from?â
He smiles at your response to his mildly suggestive comment. âI lose my filter when I'm tired. Iâm sorry if I made you uncomfortable.âÂ
You sigh gustily, dragging his hand down to fall over your collarbones. His fingers twitch over the delicate skin, like heâd graze it if your hand wasnât weighing his down.Â
âNo, no, you didnât make me uncomfortable, you just⊠surprised me. Iâm really bad at talking about this kind of thing.â
âSex?â
You yelp, slinging your arm over your face and hiding in the crook of your elbow. âAH! Donât say it!âÂ
He laughs again, a little less reserved this time.Â
âWhat? You canât even listen to me say the word?â
âNo! Too scary!â
Eventually you peek out from under your arm to find Spencer still watching you. The humor has faded from his eyes and been replaced by a kind of serene calm. He brushes a lock of hair from your shoulder.Â
âCome here,â he saysâa request more than a demand. With some wriggling and a bit of help, you manage to reorient yourself into a sitting position across his lap once more. His touch is warm even through the fabric of your dress when he kisses you, hand sliding over your waist before moving to trace your jaw and ending up on the back of your neck, urging you closer ever so slightly. You kiss him back without hesitation or restraint, as you delight in doing when he gives you the opportunity. What you may lack in experience and refinement, you make up for with affection and enthusiasm. He pulls away after a minute, much to your dismay, and brushes his thumb over your lips. For the first time, you think you see a hint of worry in his eyes. Guilt claws at your heart when he quietly asks, âyouâre not scared of me, are you?â
âNo!â You assure quickly, looping your arms around his neck. âNo, itâs not you. Youâre perfect and Iâm sure you really mean all of the nice things you say. But I just⊠sometimes I worry Iâll scare you away once you realize Iâm not as pretty or⊠good as you thought.â
âThatâs impossible.â
Once more you let your head fall onto his shoulder. âYou donât know that.âÂ
His hand begins running up and down your back, soothing your sympathetic nervous system in a way that all the deep breaths in the world never could.Â
âI know that I really, really like you. And thereâs not one part of you that I donât find genuinely beautiful. I canât imagine not feeling that way about you.â Your eyes flutter shut and you hum against himâa non-answer, but he doesnât push it. Minutes go by quietly, ticking later into the night as he continues mindlessly rubbing your back and watching you breathe. âDo you want me to take you home?â He finally asks after a long while. Again, you donât respond. He smiles. âI know youâre awake.â
The corner of your lip twitches as you attempt to suppress a grin. Spencer sighs.Â
âI guess if youâre already asleep youâll just have to stay here. But it would be convenient if youâd sleepwalk to my bed so that I donât have to carry you.â
When you begin stirring and sitting up (one eye cracked to navigate) he laughs, hands on your waist. âWould you look at that. Who knew she would be so suggestible in non-REM?â You snort as you push yourself to a standing position using Spencerâs shoulders to support yourself, and ruining the whole act. He smiles up at you like youâre something divine and lets his hands trail over your hips.Â
âI sleep with my eyes open.â
âDo you often have coherent conversations in your sleep, too?â
You shrug. âIâm full of surprises.â
âIâm sure you are,â he agrees, finally standing himself. âIâm assuming you donât want to sleep in your dress?â
âI have shorts on underneath I can wear, but a shirt would be helpful.â
âThen weâll get you a shirt.â
âââââââââââââââ
Ten minutes later youâre in Spencerâs bathroom, wearing your shorts and one of his sweatshirts (you cannot imagine Spencer in a hoodie), and wiping black sludge from your eyes with makeup remover he claims was left by a friend after a particularly festive Halloween party. Hopefully heâs telling the truthâyou can think of more dubious potential origins of the eye-makeup remover in his bathroom. No toothbrushâyou use your finger and a generous amount of toothpaste until the red wine stains fade.Â
Spencer is fixing the pillows when you exit the bathroom. You hold up your hands which are completely obscured and then some by the thick fabric of his sweatshirt.Â
âFits like a dream,â you say. A smile tugs at his lips as he finishes his task, before raising his eyes to you. The smile promptly fades and itâs like the sun disappearing behind an oppressive gray cloud. In an instant your stomach curdles and you feel like crawling out of your skin.Â
ââŠwhat?â you mumble, absolutely terrified that the thing heâd said was impossible just minutes ago has already happened. Without makeup, without a fancy dress, youâre just you, and maybe thatâs not good enough.
âUhâŠâ He blinks, as if heâs buffering for a moment, before snapping back into action, and notably looking away from you. âItâsâitâs nothing. Do you, umâhere, I tried to make itââ
âStop. Just tell me what that was. You got all weird.â
Another pauseâhe looks back up at you reluctantly with a sigh.Â
âI did not get all weird.â
âYes, you did. Youâre still being weird. Itâs freaking me out.â
Heâs utterly unreadable, which drives you fucking insane, when he eventually says, âcome here.â This time, you think with a chill as you shuffle on your knees across the bed to sit in front of him, it really sounds like a demand. Spencer grabs your face in his hands, studying you intently. âI know you think Iâve finally decided youâre hideously deformed, but itâs actually just the opposite. Iâm trying to figure out how to keep things polite for you.â
Realization dawns on you and the swarm of new butterflies in your stomach. The usual molten gold of his irises has been encroached upon, masked by blown pupils. Your face gets hot and your voice caves when you speak.Â
âOh.â
âYeah, oh,â he agrees quietly. âDo you believe me now?â
And to his credit, you really do. The hot skin, the vibrating cells in every fiber of your being, the racing heartâyour body knows he means it. Part of you, the more confident, more desirous part, drags you closer to him, ghosts your lips over his. He chuckles.Â
âNow youâre getting brave?â
âAm I not allowed to kiss you?â you whisper, draping your arms over his shoulders.Â
âYouâre allowed to do whatever you want.â
The words make you shiverâthe lowered, gravelly tone of his voice youâve never heard before snaps your resolve and you lean into him, connecting your lips with a deep urgency. Spencer inhales sharply, hands wandering to your waist and bearing down firmly as you press against him. When you lean back, he follows you, insists without saying a word that you donât stop kissing him. It sends a thrill down your spine and between your legs, which both gives you pause and eggs you on. In the end, after a very brief internal struggle, curiosity and desire win. You drop to the bed and drag him down with youâhe, your willing follower, blindly searches for purchase on the plush comforter. Now heâs on top of you, legs slotted together so that his thigh is temptingly close to your core. Too shy to actually do what you want to do, you clamp your thighs around his and tilt your hips, desperate for friction. He exhales heavily, slowly pulling his lips from yours like itâs the last thing he wants to do. Fingers dig into the flesh of your hip, not enough to ache but enough to draw your attention to your movements.Â
âWhat are you doing?â he asks, firmly, but not like youâre in troubleâitâs a probing question. Heâs trying to figure out if youâre aware of the way youâre nearly riding his leg.Â
âI donât know,â you admit breathlessly.Â
âYou just told me you couldnât even listen to me say the word sex,â Spencer reminds you. âYou said it was too scary.â
A frustrated whine seems to catch him by surprise, and he laughs.Â
âThat was a long time ago. Iâve matured since then.â
âIs that what happened?â he teases.Â
âHonestly, Iâm just really turned on right now, pleaseâ" you cut yourself off, crashing your lips into his once more. And he almost relents.Â
Almost.Â
âSlow down.â
He ceases kissing you for a second time and youâre starting to really get annoyed.Â
âWhat?â you groan. âI thought you wanted this.â
His thumbs brush over the apples of your cheeks, demanding your attention.Â
âI want you. In every sense of the word. If you make a bad choice tonight and it means you donât like me anymore tomorrow, that is the opposite of what I want. Iâm not saying no. Iâm just asking you to think about it for a second.â
You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and attempting to steady your mind and see beyond the thick fog of lust. What you find is a (mildly surprising) complete lack of fear. Youâre not scared, like you thought youâd be; you feel utterly safe underneath him, with his hands on you and his heartbeat against your chest. This is a kind of intimacy you want to have with him.Â
Your eyes open to reveal his, close enough you can see the tiny flecks of green. And so much warmth. Everything about him is warm.Â
âThis is what I want,â you assert. âI promise.â
His gaze flits between yours for a moment, pulling the truth from your soul like he might be able to find an imperfection there. But you mean itâand he seems satisfied. He trusts you, like you trust him.Â
âOkay.â
A sigh of relief never quite finds completion before heâs kissing you again. Immediately the fire is stoked once more, the heat between your legs getting warmer when he experimentally pushes his thigh against you. You breathe into the kiss, pressing down on him and surrendering to the unconscious rhythm of your hips. He lets that go on for a minute or two until youâre so distracted that you canât kiss him back.Â
Unexpectedly he pulls away, disentangling himself from your legs. You stammer in frustration until his fingers hook under the soft material of your shorts. âHips up.â
Wordlessly you comply, succumbing to his gentle words and touch. He bows to kiss you as he slides the fabric down unhurriedly. Once the shorts are gone, he sits up, and carefully lifts one of your legs over his lap, gaze unabashedly glued between them.Â
âEyes up here,â you try to joke, but itâs steeped in self-consciousness and your heart is pounding. He manages, stroking the inside of your knee with a thumb as he leans down again.Â
âBut youâre so pretty,â he murmurs, before heâs kissing you again. âJust like I knew you would be.â
You whimper when his hand skates over your stomach, lower, and lower, andâ
âTell me one more time, sweetheart.â
Your plead is just as hungry and yearning. âPlease, Spencer?â
It works for him.Â
When his knuckles brush over your clit, you forget to breathe. When they barely skim your entrance, collecting arousal to drag back upward, your brain malfunctions. It is not enough, maddeningly so, but when he finds a careful, introductory rhythm, itâs immediately bordering on too much, too good.Â
Your stomach tenses and you are surprised by your own sighs and hesitant gasps as you try to adjust to the feeling of someone elseâs hand between your legs.Â
âDoes that feel good?â he murmurs against your lips.Â
âMhm,â you chirp. Slow but insistent circles elicit a cry that gets caught in your throat, melting into a hum. Your eyes are closed, but you can hear the smile in Spencerâs voice.Â
âYouâre sensitive, huh?â
âSâsometimes.â
 He hums contemplatively.Â
âSometimes? Can you tell me about that?â
You canât hardly think around those gentle movements of his hand, let alone speak. He touches you like youâre something delicate. Itâs torturous and perfect. But you try to answer anyway, managing to keep the stammering to a minimum.Â
âAbout what?âÂ
âI want to know what you think about when you touch yourself.â The smooth words in tandem with an incremental increase in pressure earn your first real moan. Timid and unpracticed, but very genuine.Â
The answer comes immediately afterward; thoughtlessly and on a shuddering exhalation.
âYou.â
âYeah?â he smiles. âGood answer.â
Your eyes open fractionally to study his expression. Youâd felt so much shame every time youâd imagined him in your bed late at night.
âReally?âÂ
âReally. And now look at you. Letting me do it for you.â As if to remind you, he speeds up the motion of his hand. On instinct you bring your fingers to your lips as you moan through a closed throat, partly to stifle the noise and partly because you donât know what to do with the hand thatâs not gripping the duvet. âDo you only touch here?â His fingers slide down to your slick entrance and your hips buck, mourning the loss of stimulation. âOr do you touch here, too?âÂ
You shake your head, breathing hard as he teases a finger around the soft place youâve never really bothered to explore. âNever feels good when I try.â
âWeâre gonna make it feel good, okay?â
You nod hesitantly, leaning back into the pillows when he kisses you again.Â
His lips are so distracting, so intoxicating you almost forget what heâs doing until he does it. Itâs a foreign sensationânot entirely pleasant or unpleasant. For a moment or two your brows furrow as you focus on the feeling, worried that maybe youâre broken just as you thoughtâuntil you feel a slight stretch and you realize heâs pushing a second finger into you now. A kiss lands on your cheek when you grab his arm with a choked gasp, and he mutters, âdeep breaths,â into your ear. âI know itâs new, honey, just breathe.â
âFuck,â you whimper as you look down, and you didnât realize you were going to say it until itâs already passed between your lips. Pressure begins melding with the promise of pleasure, and something about watching his hand move between your legsâthe tendons flexing and wrist bending as he eases into what is clearly a perfected motionâarouses you so much you moan at the sight alone. Flipping pages is all you thought that hand was meant for. Itâs like a secret revealed as you watch it do something so salacious, and to you.Â
A hot spark of pleasure flares deeper in you than youâve ever felt. It catches and grows faster than youâd of thoughtâsuddenly you can feel everything and it all feels better than you thought possible. Your jaw drops and a surprised huff of air blows a strand of your hair away.Â
âOh my god,â comes your breathy little whisper, unprepared for and intimidated by how good heâs making you feel. Filthy noises come from between your legs and you clench around his fingers. You had no idea you could make those noises. You had no idea you could get so wet.Â
âYeah, there we go.â His voice sounds a little further away now. You manage to tear your eyes away from all the action to his face. Much like you, heâs transfixed by the sight, brow furrowed and pretty lips parted in what could be concentration, or some sort of empathetic pleasure. His face has more color to it than usual and his breaths come heavierâitâs a very pleasant sight. Suddenly his fingers brush against a spot deep within you and your hips cant upward, a mewl pulled from the depths of your throat that has more control over you than you do it. Spencerâs eyes flash back to you, a grin playing at his lips. He does it again, looking right into your eyes, and you whine so pitifully your face flushes.Â
âToo much?â he asks. You shake your head firmly, arching your back when he unconsciously slows down. At your response his fingers begin rutting into you again, committing to that spot inside you that makes you see stars. âOf course not. Youâre gonna take whatever I give you, huh?â
âUh-huh,â you nod. Youâd do just about anything for him right at this second. Spencer holds an immense amount of power over you in this moment, and potentially in all future moments moving forward. But you trust him with it.Â
âYou donât have anything to prove to me. I just want you to feel good. Youâll tell me if itâs too much, right?â
But itâs really not too much. Itâs exactly right. Your verbal capacity is acutely limited right now, so you canât exactly say it, but you lock eyes with him and whine shamelessly, hips twisting against his hand. You think he gets the message.Â
Hair falls over his face and he doesnât fix it, opting instead to alternate his gaze between your cunt and face, cursing to himself lowly. You wouldnât want him to stop and fix his hairâwhat you want is this, for him to keep pushing you toward that elusive edge and to keep looking at you like you put all the stars in the sky.Â
âLook at you, my pretty girl. Iâm so proud of you. I know this isnât easy. I know you were scared. Thank you for letting me do this, honey.â
Itâs the unexpected tenderness of the words, perfectly misplaced in the context of the moment. Itâs the devotion, the honesty in his eyes, shining through the haze of lust, which makes your stomach drop and all your muscles tense. A million thoughts jumble in your head, dizzying and thrilling and confusing, but mostly all you can think is Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. Is this how it always is? Your hands tangle in the sheetsâand then all the thoughts vanish. Everything is warm and fuzzy and sparkling clean, no worries, no lingering thoughts, no self-awareness at all. Itâs nirvana. Itâs revelatory. Itâs ridiculous that he did this all in under five minutes and you havenât been able to do it once even with very concerted effort.Â
Slowly you float back into your body, breathing hard and watching through half-lidded eyes as Spencer gently pulls his hand away. Without him you feel weirdly empty and cold, like he should have been there all along. But his touch isnât absent for longâhe runs his hand over the bridge between your hips, little finger dipping into the crease of your thigh.Â
âThatâs never⊠Iâve never done that before,â you admit, slurring your words only slightly.Â
His perfect features contort into a half-frown, half-smile.Â
âYouâve never had an orgasm?â You nod. His head tilts. âReally? You didnât tell me that.â
âWhen would I have told you?â you laugh, finding his waist with your hand and encouraging him to settle his weight on you. He does, burying his face in your neck and exhaling heavily.Â
âWell?â you ask shyly, skating your fingers over his back. âDid I do it right?â
Spencer snorts, but presses a sickeningly sweet kiss to the curve of your neck.Â
âDid you like it?â
âYes,â you admit, voice smaller than youâd have liked. He pushes himself up onto his forearms and kisses you softly.Â
âThen we both did it right.â
âButâŠâ you stare up into his warm honey eyes, searching for any bits of hidden truth you can find. He brushes a strand of hair away from your face, utterly unconcerned. âYou know what I mean.âÂ
âI do,â he agrees, âand Iâll say this because I know otherwise youâre going to worry about it forever.â He studies your face reverently for a moment, before parting his lips to speak. The words are slow to come, like heâs trying to figure the sentence out as he goes along. âYou⊠are going to be, problematic, for me.â
Your whisper is almost as small as you feel under his heavy gaze. âWhat dâyou mean?âÂ
âI mean,â Spencer begins, voice low, âI think I liked that too much. Do you see why thatâs troubling?â
The flame you thought had been quenched flickers back to life like a pilot light. Your thighs press together to alleviate a growing ache in a still sensitive area and you answer, âno,â with a small shake of your head. His thumb tenderly traces your jaw, ever-patient despite the fact that youâre obviously playing coy.Â
âBecause I canât have you all the time.â
âYes you can,â you say without hesitation, though your eyes are fluttering. âYou can have me whenever you want. Right now.â
He hums, pressing a kiss to your cheek.Â
âNot tonight. Youâve had enough. Youâre tired.â
âIâm wide awake,â you slur, tangling a hand in his hair even as you lose the battle against your eyelids.Â
He sighs good-naturedly, gently wrapping his fingers around your wrist and brushing his lips over the delicate skin.Â
âYouâre shockingly precocious.â
You hum.Â
âYou just unleashed the beast. Youâre like Doctor Frankenstein.â
He chuckles, sitting up and finding your shorts. You manage to be semi-helpful, lifting your legs at appropriate junctures as he tugs your clothing back on. âAnd youâre a nerd.â
âI donât need to take that from you of all people.â
âIâll pretend I didnât hear that,â Spencer says, and the smile in his voice makes you smile, a quarter asleep as he leans over to turn off the lamp on your side of the bed before tugging the covers over both of you.Â
He pulls you close in the dark, releasing a deep sigh as you curl into him. His heartbeat is steady against your ear, his arms warm around you. You can imagine making a home for yourself here. And you donât know if heâs thinking it, but you hope he is, as you are silently repeating to yourself with every beat of his heart;
I love you
I love you
I love you.Â
-
part two
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid smut#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fic#criminal minds#criminal minds smut#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine
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if you're doing mouthwashing can i have daisuke x reader hcs plz... just pretend the tulpar never crashed i want him to be happy hjdkjkdsjg
OMG ANONâŠyou get me. Daisuke has me in a CHOKEHOLD. Ok so here are how the headcanons are gonna go. Pre dating/confession. Dating and NSFW. I had another anon ask me to do NSFW head canons with daisuke. So why not kill two birds with one stone. The regular head canon r gonna be Gn. But the NSFW are gonna have some AFAB stuff. Still can kinda be read as Gn.
Crushing - Confession
- I believe Daisuke crushing on you would be a very, you fell first, but he fell harder kinda thing.
- I think that because Daisuke can be well.. a bit dense (still love him though). That heâs not really gonna pick up on any hints or flirting. So you kinda of have to wait till he realizes he likes you.
- When he does realize he likes you is probably when you were sticking up for him against Swansea(I love you Swansea but you still were mean to Daisukeđ).
- Itâs gonna be easy to tell when he likes you. This man is gonna be so obviousđđ
- We all know heâs eager to please right? Heâs doing this with you 2 times more. Always asking if you needed anything, heâd be right on it.
-Little things to. Iâm talking some laying his shirt over a puddle for you to step on. I feel like he tries to woe you with these gestures.(and it works)
- Daisuke loves listening to your voice. No matter how your voice sounds. Heâll go out of his ways to find you to ramble on about something. He thinks you look and sound cute rambling. o(^w^)o
- Also I think he just likes looking at you. There have been MANY times where Swansea has smacked Daisuke in the back of the head, cause he got sidetrack staring at you with this very lovesick grin. Staring like you personally hung the stars for him.
- Daisuke would be a bit too nervous to think of confessing first. So Swansea would definitely be pushing him to confess. Heâs tired of seeing you two ogling at each other and doing nothing about itđ.
- Our sly little man some how convinced Curly to make a cake for him to give you. (I swear on my life curly is a die hard romantic but Iâm saving that for when I do headcanons on him later)
- I feel like Daisuke would sneak in your room. Waiting for you to enter. When you do he lifts up the cake in his hands, â Imadeyouthiscakewillyoudatemeâ He rambled out. Being scared you would say no.
- But when you say yes. Iâm not kidding he shouted âWHOO HOO!!!â. It was very funny. Daisuke would quickly put the cake down and rush to hug you,
Dating
- I feel like the affection he likes to receive is words of affection and physical contact. And for what he usually gives. Acts of service and physical affection. Let me explain
-(Daisuke receiving) Itâs a bit obvious that Daisuke probably hasnât gotten a lot of praise in his life. So I believe that he absolutely melts when you give him these encouraging words. It can range from a lot. From a small, âgood jobâ to a âI love you so much, no matter what.â. It makes him so happy like you donât even understand.
-(Daisuke receiving) Idk itâs just a an itch in my brain telling me. I think he likes all kinds of physical affection. From holding his pinky, to wrapping you arms and legs around him cuddling. If it insures some sort of touching heâs down. I also think he like resting his head on either your thighs, or chest. Resting his eyes. PLEASE scratch his head or tangle your fingers through his hair. He loves it so much. Like it calms him down so much.
-(Daisuke giving) You canât tell me this man isnât at least a bit clingy. Not in a âif you talk to someone else Iâll kill themâ type of way but a â you make me feel safe and secureâ kind of way. Does that make sense? Anyways, he loves flopping onto you when he sees you laying down. Like Iâm talking full rag doll flop. I fully believe he brought a stuff animal on the ship. So he fully treats you like a stuff animal. Quick random switch. I donât think he likes being the small spoon. Only because I feel like he needs to sleep holding something. I donât think he would mind being big spoon. But overall he prefers you two facing each other.
-(Daisuke giving) We all know he has a knack for trying to be as helpful as he can. We can see that when he tried to fix the vent! To trying to crawl up it to save Anya⊠guys I canât do this anymore. ANYWAYS. This man does not want you to lift a FINGER. He is so head over heels inlove with you. Heâll do anything for you. Heâll ask him to bring you a star and heâd ask which one. LIKE HE LOVES YOU SM AND JUST WANTS TO SEE YOU HAPPY.
- He loves kissing. Receiving and giving. From a simple peck, to kissing your face all over. He just loves it so much. He finds it so romantic. Listen hear me out. Non sexual neck kissing. He could be waking up before you(highly unlikely). Softly kissing your neck to wake you up. Just soft and sweet.
- Late night talks are a must with him. It could be about anything really. From what plot twist you guys thought would happen on the shitty soap opera you guys were watching. What ifs, what your guys future would look like, what you guys would be if you were animals. The topics you guys talk about are far and wide. But he enjoys the comfort of being by you.
- You canât tell me this man isnât a big back. Daisuke definitely brought a bunch of snacks with him. So he will happily share with you. He is a very giving person. But also expect to get your food stolen sometimes.. make sure you get extra food in your plate to give him the rest. He would appreciate it a lot!!!!!:3
- He also really loves spending anytime he can with you. Especially if it involves games. Let me tell you. YOU DO NOT WANNA PLAY DRESS TO IMPRESS WITH THIS MAN. He would cook you so hard in the game itâs not even funny. Heâs literally in the top 10 players in dress to impress.
NSFW - DO NOT READ IF YOUR A MINOR OR UNCOMFORTABLE WITH NSFW (AFAB)
- Praise kink. YOU GUYS CANT TELL ME IâM WRONG. You guys could water board me. Scream at me that Iâm wrong. Every time you praise him when yâall are getting freaky. Busting. Like it gets him going SO HARD (pun intended) Like omg⊠Especially if you praise his efforts/ how good heâs doing. Pray that youâll be able to walk after.
- This man is LOUDâŠâŠ grunting, whimpering, moaning, panting. Any noise you can think of hes made it. Like he doesnât even think of suppressing his noises. He also doesnât want you to either! He loves hearing you. He thinks the louder you are = the better heâs doing. So please donât suppress your noises heâll get so sad:(. But back to the topic. This man needs something to muffle him. Wether that be kissing you, or lightly nibbling your neck. When he starts to get to loud you need to find a way to shut him up.
-Speaking of loud Swansea has definitely caught you guys onceâs. Yâall were a bit to loud and he was wonder what was going on and⊠Letâs just say he wasnât able to look at you guys for a bit. But after he gave Daisuke a fist bump. Man to manđŁïžđŁïžđŁïž
- Daisuke is willing to try almost everything. I full heartedly believe this man is a virgin. The furthest heâs ever gone is making out. So heâs eager to learn! He was a bit nervous your guys first time. But after a bit that nervousness dissolved into eagerness! I donât think heâd be into hurting you badly. And I donât think he likes pain that much either. But I think he would like his hair being pulled. Or maybe you lightly scratching his back.
- I think he would be open to having sex not just in your rooms. Either in random room barely used. Or a couple of times on the couch when everyone was in their sleeping quarters. Thankfully you guys werenât caught!!! But Curly was wondering what that clear sticky substances was on the couchâŠ
-(AFAB) Munch no question asked. LISTEN WHEN I SAW HE WANTED AN EXTRA PACK OF SWEETENER I IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT BIG BACK MUNCH BEHAVIOR. Also because this man loves to please. DO YALL SEE ME VISION. This man whoâll slurp it up like no tomorrow. His favorite made is your pleasure is his pleasure. But omg like he gets so into eating you out itâs not even funny⊠You have to pry his face away from your core. And he looks so hot. His hair a mess. His eyes dazed but still has that love in them. And your juice all over his face likeâŠ
- He doesnât have a favorite position. He likes way too many. And when you asked him what position he liked the most, he only responded with, âhow can I pick a favorite when there all so good, and what about the ones we havenât tried yet!â Safe to say you guys went to go try some more positions đ
- I know Iâve been doing really freaky headcanons but I think Daisuke loves soft sex and morning sexy to. Maybe the morning after a bad day HES still feeling bad. You both are still groggy but you have time before you have to get up. Hell sink himself into. Before thrusting as his arms are wrapped around your waist. His hot breath on your neck, as he trailed kisses all along it. Just because he can be a freak doesnât mean he canât be really soft either.
- Daisuke loves cock warming. Try. Try to prove me wrong. He loves cuddling. He loves being as close to you as possible. Whatâs better than combining the two! But after a bit he does get a bit impatient and starts to subtly thrust. He really is trying to not to be you feel to good!
Authors note: SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG. I STARTED THIS WHEN I GOT HOME AND FELL ASLEEP MID WAY THROUGH WRITING THIS. Again sorry for request being slow Iâm trying my bestđđ
#mouthwash smut#mouthwashing smut#mouthwash x reader#daisuke mouthwashing#mouthwashing#daisuke smut#mouthwashing x reader#mouthwashing game#mouthwash game#mouthwash#daisuke x reader
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PLEASE, LOVE ME. PT2
simon riley / reader
FIND PART ONE || read the full thing on ao3
tags: childhood friends, friends2lovers, virgin!reader, soft!simon, protective!simon, afab!reader, hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending, MDNI
cw: reader is over 20, pining, masturbation (reader), loss of virginity, explicit workplace sexual harassment/assault, so much crying, one-sided love, not-really-unrequited love, vomiting, panic attacks, depression, crying, sex related shame, PTSD (reader), codependency but cute, self-deprecating thoughts, slut shaming, wet dream, dry humping, simon fucks up tho, reference to suicide & suicidal ideation, really nasty argument, reader hits simon sorry, apologizes tho!!!, reader struggles to orgasm, drinking, fooling around while drunk (no sex), breast play, fingering, orgasm denial, simon's a tease, p-in-v, cunnilingus, multiple orgasms, creampie, mating press, missionary, simon's dirty mouth, dirty talk, wet&messy, big cock, uncut simon bc i said so, reassurance & encouragement, some pain upon penetration, clit spanking, post-coital crying!!!!!!, aftercare, briefly edited so apologies for any lingering mistakes
note: this is part two and contains the gratuitous smut portion ur all looking forward to <3
you've loved him since you were children. after a confession when you were 14 went rejected, you vowed to never let your feelings be known again. but after an incident that left you hurt and fragile, you find it hard to keep that promise.
PART 2: 17.9k total: 35.8k
Things seem to get much better between you. Your anger and resentment towards Simon diminishes significantly and you can finally say you feel comfortable around him again. You wouldnât say youâve forgotten everything that happened, you fear that the entire ordeal has left its scar on you.Â
But you finally feel ready to truly begin to work on yourself and get to a better place mentally.Â
Youâre humming to yourself as you dust the surfaces in your living room, cringing in disgust when you see how dusty a particular shelf was.Â
Just as you go to give it another swipe, your front door opens and Simon stumbles in, huffing from effort as he carries two armfuls of groceries.Â
âSimon!â you cry out, watching with wide eyes from the stepstool you stood on as he ungracefully dropped them on the floor, âWhy did you bring them all up here like that?â
âDidnât wanna make another trip,â he explained lamely, flexing his hands as he looked over all the bags.
âOkay, I guess,â you chuckle softly.Â
Simon finally looks up at you, âWhat are you doing?â
âCleaning,â you shrug, waving the duster at him, âI havenât felt like doing it until now so might as well get it done when I feel like it!â
Heâs quiet for a moment before he steps over the bags of groceries.His boots thunk heavily on the floor as he approaches you. Suddenly, he wraps an arm around your middle. You squeak in surprise when he very carefully and gently pulls you off of the stool and places you back onto your feet.Â
Then he walks away like nothing happened, snatching up a couple groceries up from the floor to take to the kitchen.Â
You decide not to comment on his behavior and simply choose to grab a couple of bags and help him out. When you get inside the kitchen, heâs already stuffing things into the refrigerator. You place the bags down and go back to pick some more up, transferring all the bags of groceries near him so he can easily put them away.Â
You notice one of the bags has some piping, lightbulbs, wires, and other things you canât identify.Â
âWhatâs all this?â you ask, holding the bag out to him when he turns to look.
He grunts, closing the fridge, âGonna fix some shit around here.â
âWhy?â you ask, scrunching your nose up as you place the bag on the counter.
âShithole needs it,â he mumbles, moving to start opening the cabinets, âSince you refuse to let me move you out of this place, Iâm gonna make sure it at least functions.â
You hum and nod your head. Simon had attempted to convince you to move out and into an apartment of his own choosing but you flat out refused. He was already paying the rent on this place, you werenât going to let him spend more money for a different place â because you know Simon would choose somewhere that would cost a lot more than your current flat.Â
But you couldnât deny, the idea of Simon doing a little manual labor around the apartment made your heart flutter in your chest. The way he took care of you and was willing to get his hands dirty just to make sure you were comfortable. The little domestic tasks you could imagine him doing.Â
It almost felt like something a husband would do.Â
You felt your cheeks flush immediately at the train of thought. How embarrassing and juvenile to think something like that
âI can cook dinner!â you mumble after clearing your throat.Â
Simon actually has the audacity to laugh. You frown as he shakes his head, closing the cabinet before turning to you.Â
âAbsolutely not,â he says.
Your jaw drops, âWhy?!â
âBecause,â he steps closer, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before breezing past you, âYouâre a terrible cook, love.â
You open your mouth to retort but can only huff. Because heâs right. The last time you tried to make dinner for the two of you, you had confused cayenne with cinnamon and made the most diabolical stew known to man. He vowed to never let you cook anything that required more than boiling water since.Â
You pout your way back to the living room, mumbling a petulant, âFineâŠâ as you went.
You didnât catch the broad grin on Simonâs face as he watched you sulk away. He was just happy to see your vibrance returning before his very eyes.
True to his word, however, he began to do some random odd jobs around the apartment. He changed that damn leaky faucet in the kitchen first. He would never admit it but it was beginning to drive him completely mad. He swore he could hear it dripping into the metal sink basin in his dreams.
Then he fixed the piping in the bathroom so they would stop all that god-awful clanking that practically woke up the entire complex. But after that, he figured he might as well fix the piping under the sinks as well.
Thatâs when you saw him. On his back, big body sprawled out as he worked underneath the cabinet, wrench in hand and soft grunts of effort coming from him. His t-shirt rose up just a bit, exposing a small stretch of tummy and his happy trail. Every once in a while, you could see his muscles flex and it made your mouth go completely dry.Â
You felt like a Victorian man seeing his first ankle on a woman. Ridiculous.Â
Sure, youâd seen Simon shirtless countless times â hell, you walked in on him completely naked once or twice. But there was something particularlyâŠdelicious about him like this. Unaware, casual, just doing work.Â
It made a swell of heat settle in your abdomen. You squeezed your thighs together as you watched him. His biceps flexed and bulged, making the sleeve of his t-shirt grow taut around his skin. His muscles moved underneath the tattoos inked into his skin.Â
You dragged your eyes down his body, past his pecs, past the sliver of tummy. You imagined yourself crawling between those thick thighs and unbuckling his belt, tugging at the button of his jeans. You imagined getting to see his cock chub up inside his boxers before you would pull it out and wrap your lips around the leaking tip.Â
Salty, you imagine. Youâve always heard that menâs cum and pre-cum would be salty. Would Simonâs taste as bad as some of your friends had told you back in highschool? You hoped not. You couldnât imagine not enjoying every part of him â even his cum.
You wanted him to shoot in your mouth, let you taste it. You wanted to milk it out of him, give him no choice but to cum down your throat.
âAre you just going to stand there or do you need something?â his voice startled you out of your thoughts.
Wide eyed, you looked to meet his gaze but you found he wasnât even looking at you, still staring at the piped overhead.
âUm,â you cleared your throat, floundering for an excuse as to why you were ogling him like a piece of meat, âI didnât want to interrupt you. I-I was just wanting to make sure the shower was okay to use?â
He grunts, letting out a soft sigh before pushing himself out from under the sink, closing the cabinet before wiping his brow with the back of his hand, âYeah, go ahead and shower, love.â
You give him a tight-lipped smile, casting one last glance to see that his t-shirt had fallen back into place. Disappointing.Â
You trudge out of the kitchen and into the bathroom. Softly, you close the door and turn on the shower. The pipes donât clang when the water shoots through them. It brings a smile to your face.
Once youâre stripped and standing under the warm spray, you let your hands wander your body. First, you cup your breasts, watching your nipples harden under your own touch before you slide one hand between your thighs. Thereâs a slickness between your folds that's distinctly different from the water, itâs slippery and sticky. But it makes your touch against your clit easy.Â
You bite your lips to keep quiet, scared to death that Simon could hear you from under the sound of the water. You make quick, tight little circles against your clit. The bud is hard and twitches under your fingers. It makes the breath stutter out of your chest.Â
You need more room, you realize, hiking your foot up onto a shelf. It spreads you open just a little more, gives you a little more access for your fingers to play. You sigh, head tipping forward to watch as you circle your own clit.Â
But the more you touch yourself, the faster that tingling, warm sensation dissipates. You huff through your clenched teeth, frustrated.Â
Usually, you could at least feel the beginning of that peak forming but this timeâŠnot even close. So you shamefully close your legs and go about your shower as if nothing happened, taking care to wash the slick from between your thighs especially.
As you lay in bed that night, Simon breathing deeply beside you as he slept, you were lost in thought.Â
Surely, you were in the wrong for thinking about Simon like that â for getting wet at the sight of him. And then sleeping soundly next to him as if you werenât some kind of pervert. Maybe you should just confess and apologize to him.Â
No. You quickly admonish that thought, glancing over at his prone form. You couldnât bear to see him be disgusted by you. Heâd already rejected you years ago, finalized it and put the nail in the coffin so you would never be dumb enough to do it again.Â
What would he do if he found out about yourâŠattraction to him? He practically lived with you now, after everything happened. He was in your flat more than he was on base now. It was only a matter of time before he caught you with your hands dancing in your pants.Â
Your cheeks flushed at the idea. Part of you thought it hot â for him to find you needy like that, desperately playing with your clit as you try to make yourself cum.Â
But on the other hand, you could see the wrinkle of disgust in his brow and sneer on his face as he walked away. That outcome was not worth it, you decided.Â
With a sigh, you rolled over so your back faced Simon and closed your eyes for the night.Â
You both should have known better that the fragile peacefulness between the two of you was just that â fragile, balancing on a delicate precipice that could shatter at any moment.Â
The ring of his phone was the break.Â
âAnswer that for me, love!â he called from the kitchen where he was busy preparing dinner.Â
You leaned forward to check the number. It wasnât in his contacts but Simon never got calls from people unless he knew them. So you slowly slid the button over and accepted the call.Â
âHello?â you mumbled into the phone.
There was a beat of silence before a womanâs voice responded in kind, âHello?â
âUmâŠâ you swallowed down the apprehension that settled in your chest, casting a glance towards Simonâs back as he stood over the stove, âWho may I ask is calling?â
âIâm looking for Simon,â she said, sounding much more coy than a second ago. She knew his real name and that irked you. People from work always referred to him as Ghost, only those he considered trustworthy or friends were privy to calling him Simon.Â
âUm, heâs busy at the moment, can I take a message?â you ask, loud enough for Simon to hear in the kitchen if he was interested in intervening. But he didnât move.Â
âSure!â she giggled, âTell him that Victoria really wants to see him again and to call me so we can!â
You swallowed around the lump in your throat, âY-Yeah, sure. Iâll let him knowâŠâ
âThank you,â she cooed in a sultry tone, âOh! And tell him I really had a great time last time we were together and that Iâm looking forward to a repeat performance.â
âYeah. Iâll do that,â you assured, hoping you didnât sound as tense as you felt.Â
She giggled before the call disconnected and you were left glaring at his stupid stock phone wallpaper.
âWho was it?â Simon comes to the archway of the kitchen, leaning against the wall. You canât hear anything cooking anymore so you assume heâs finished dinner.
âVictoria,â you spit the name out like itâs poisonous, âSays she wants to see you again and she had a fantastic time with you last time.â
Simon shifts where he stands, looking down at his feet before looking back up to you, âAlright. Iâll call her back later.â
That sends knives straight through your heart. It aches so badly that you want to bite your own tongue off to make it stop.Â
Jealousy, you realize. Youâre fucking jealous. Some girl calls and asks for his dick and he just says okay?Â
Heâs not yours, you tell yourself. He can fuck whoever he wants.Â
But that does nothing to quell the inferno raging inside you.Â
Thereâs other feelings brewing inside you; rejection, fear, loss.
You feel bitter that youâre right there and he would still never choose you. Heâll always choose someone else because he doesnât see you like that. It feels like heâs throwing it in your face, just spitting at you to show you that he doesnât love you like you love him. He never has and he never will. Youâll never be an option to him because he doesnât want you.
Then youâre scared heâs going to leave you. Heâs going to go to this Victoria chick and leave you all alone so he can get his dick wet again. Just like last time. Maybe heâll like it so much he wants to stay with her. Maybe heâs going to leave you behind so he can start a new, happy life without having to worry about the dead weight thatâs been dragging him down since he was 8. You. His responsibility. His problem.Â
Youâre so scared that heâs going to be ripped from your grasp. That youâre going to lose him to someone else and itâs going to be you and your pathetic one-sided love for the rest of your life. Fuck, youâve loved him since you were 4. Youâve loved him for so long that it makes you nauseous to think about. How many people loved one person for this long?Â
Please, you wanted to cry to him, please love me.Â
Please, just love me back.
âSo youâre gonna go then?â you finally find your voice, bitterness and resentment thick in your tone, âYouâre gonna leave me to go to a booty call again?â
He stands up straight at that. Arms cross over his chest, he watches that way you glare at him, heated and teary-eyed. Hurt.Â
He knew you still werenât over the way he left you that time â when you needed him the most. Youâd been ignoring the residual hurt that lingered, intent on pretending that everything was fine. He had been doing his best to make up for it but it always felt like one step forward and two steps back with you.Â
âIâm not going anywhere,â he assures softly, âIâll call her back to tell her that it wonât happen.â
He tries his best to remain level-headed and soft, to be reassuring like he knows you need. But your expression doesnât change. You continue to glare at him with that furious, hurt look in your eyes.Â
Suddenly, you stand.Â
âI donât believe you,â you hiss, turning your back to him, storming down the hallway.Â
He almost winces when he hears how hard you slam the bedroom door. He thinks about going back there to talk to you but decides against it. You need some space to calm yourself down.Â
He eats the dinner he made for both of you alone, putting your half in the fridge for later. He goes about the apartment, locking the door and turning out all the lights. Then he gets to the bedroom door and goes to turn the knob and it doesnât budge.Â
Despite himself, he laughs. He jiggles the knob, jerks the door a little harder like itâll open with a bit of force. And it might, itâs a flimsy ass door if heâs being honest â heâs forced bigger and heavier doors open before.Â
He snaps your name, humor gone from his voice. You donât answer.Â
âOpen the damn door,â he snaps, trying the knob again. He gets silence in return so he slams his fist against the surface. The sound is loud enough that it makes his own ears ring, âI said open the door. Iâm not playinâ this game with you, sweetheart.â
âSleep on the couch, Simon!â he hears your wobbly voice call back. Of course youâre in there crying, he thinks.
âIâm not sleepinâ on the fuckinâ couch,â he hisses, leaning his forearm against the door, resting his head against it with a sigh, âOpen the door and letâs talk.â
âDonât wanna talk to you,â you whine, bratty as all hell. He would have laughed if he wasnât so damn pissed, âWhy donât you go sleep with Victoria since you like her so much.â
You donât know why you say that last part. You donât want him to go to her, you donât want him to go anywhere. The thought of it brings more tears to your eyes.Â
Simon is silent on the other side of the door for a long while. You almost think he walked away and succumbed to the couch. You wouldnât actually let him sleep on that awful thing, of course. You justâŠyou donât know what the end goal here is, if youâre honest.
âFine,â he finally spits, âIf thatâs what you want, Iâll fuck off and find Victoria.â
You hear the floorboards creak under his weight as he walks away. You sit up straight in bed at that, eyes wide as you listen to him stalk through the house. You swear you hear the jingle of his keys and thatâs what has you lurching out of bed in a panic.
You almost trip over the sheets as they tangle around your legs but you manage to free yourself and wrench the door open.
âSimon!â you practically shriek, rounding the corner of the hallway to find him standing with his back to you, facing the door.
Heâs got his hoodie and mask on, boots firmly on his feet and keys in hand. He stands still, back straight as his shoulders rise and fall with his breathing. But he waits.
âDonât go,â you find yourself whimpering, ââM sorry. Come to bed, okay?â
He doesnât move and that makes your heart pound in your chest. You know heâs pissed, can see it in the way his fists stay clenched at his sides. His fingers twitch and he makes a move for the doorknob and you surge forward, wrapping yourself around his other arm, yanking him away from the door as hard as you can.Â
He lets your weight knock him off balance, lets you drag him away from the door. He lets you tug him down the hallway, sniffling and crying as you do.Â
âJ-JustâŠâ you find yourself frantically tugging his mask off, tossing it away before you rip the hem of his hoodie up. He doesnât help you or fight you as you try to take it off of him. He just stares blankly at you, like heâs assessing you. You hate it. âG-Get ready for bed, okay? JustâŠwe can go to sleep.â
âWhy do you make this so fuckinâ hard for me?â he finally breaks his silence, the question cold and calculating. Like heâs tired. Exhausted, âI keep tryinâ to make it up to you. But every time something goes wrong, you throw everything back in my face and you act like you hate me again. I canât keepâŠâ he trails off, shaking his head before he sits at the foot of the bed, hands clasped together and head hanging between his shoulders.
âI love you,â you blurt out, a sob breaking out of your lips as you do. Simon doesnât move. Your hands cover your eyes, as if being blind to his reaction will make the rejection hurt less, âI love you and i-it just keeps messing me up inside. Iâm sorry.â
âYou love me?â he asks, still no emotion in his voice.Â
When you peek at him, heâs in the same position as before, hands clasped, elbows on his knees, head bowed. You have no idea what expression heâs wearing and youâre scared to find out.
âYes,â you hiccup, sniffling softly, âIâm sorry.â
âWhy are you apologizing?â he asks softly, almost solemnly.
âI promised,â you cry, another choked sob escaping you.Â
âPromised..?â he doesnât sound cold anymore, just confused, âThe fuckâre you talkinâ about?â
âW-When I was 14,â you whimper, shame filling you as you recall your now-broken promise, âI-I told you I liked you and you said you didnât feel the same. You told me to never bring it up again and I promised I wouldnât. B-ButâŠâ you sobbed again, stopping yourself from finishing the sentence.
âFuckinâ hellâŠâ he breathes, bringing his hands to his face, scrubbing them up and down vigorously in a way that looks like it hurts. Then he laughs.Â
He fucking laughs.Â
Itâs like your worst fears come to light. Heâs laughing at you, at your confession. At your feelings. A fresh wave of tears fill your eyes and fall down your cheeks. You bite your lips to keep from making your sobs audible anymore. You didnât want him to laugh at that too. You hang your head, wringing your hands together behind your back anxiously as Simon quiets down.Â
âShit,â he breathes, getting to his feet. He stands before you, cupping your cheeks and forcing you to look at him. He frowns when he sees the utter despair on your face, the heartbreak in your eyes, âNo, baby. No, no. I wasnât laughinâ at you.â
Baby. You catch onto it. Heâs never called you that before.Â
You dash the spark of hope that it causes.Â
He rubs his thumbs under your eyes, wiping the tears away.Â
Then, he leans forward and slots his lips against yours.Â
Itâs like fireworks explode in your chest. Your heart races so fast that you feel lightheaded. You canât even respond to the kiss in time before he pulls away, your mind is moving too fast for you to process any meaningful thought. But he kissed you.Â
Simon kissed you.
âWhat?â you finally manage to whisper, looking up with wide, shocked eyes, âWhy did you..?â
He looks confused for a second, still cupping your cheeks as he looks into your watery eyes, âYou really have no idea?â Your brows furrow immediately and you shake your head, âHow I feel about you?â
âYou feel..?â you dumbly repeat.Â
He smiles softly, thumb rubbing softly over your cheekbone, âYou really think I donât feel the same?â
âB-But whenâŠwhen we were kids IâŠâ you stumble over your words, the truth youâve believed this entire time seemingly false, âYou s-said you didnât feel the same.â
âJesus, love,â he huffs softly in disbelief, âYou were fourteen. I was seventeen. You were way too fuckinâ young for me, it wouldnât have been right.â
âB-But thenâŠâ you stutter, reaching up to wipe your cheek, âWhen did you..?â
He shrugs, âNot sure exactly. Suppose sometime after you turned 20 was when I realized I felt somethinâ for you.â
âSo you reallyâŠâ you whisper, snagging your hands into his hoodie to pull him close, âYou reallyâŠI meanâŠâ
âLove you?â he smiles softly, âOf course I do.â
You lean forward and press your lips to his. He hums, wrapping one strong arm around your middle to pull you even closer. His lips work magically over yours, taking control of the kiss with ease. You easily melt into it, following his lead. Itâs not as easy as you thought it would be and you hope Simon doesnât notice.Â
But he does, of course he does.Â
He pulls away and smooths the palm of his hand down your cheek before it comes to rest on your jaw. His thumb slides over your bottom lip and he hums.
âYou ever kissed before?â he asks, voice calm and level with no teasing to it at all.
Still, heat explodes all over your face. Embarrassment overrides the euphoria of your requited feelings. You try to pull away but Simonâs much stronger and he wonât let go unless he wants to.Â
âHey, donât run,â he coos softly, turning your face to look back up at him, âI was just askinâ.â
âNo,â you mumble, still burning with embarrassment, âI-Iâve only ever liked you soâŠâ
âFuckinâ hellâŠâ he whispers, letting you step back just a bit so he can look over you, âIs that right?â
âYou should know that,â you mumble, feeling small under his scrutiny, âYou know everything about me.â
âDidnât think datinâ history was somethinâ you felt like sharinâ,â he shrugged off.
âWell, now you know,â you mutter, your gaze glued to the floor.
âThat I do,â he hums in agreement, reaching out to brush a hand down the length of your arm.Â
A soft, quietness falls over the two of you. Youâre not sure what to do and it seems heâs content where he is. Heâs watching you, tracking every little shift and fidget you make until he finally seems to take pity on you.
âLetâs get to bed,â he says softly, giving you a soft nudge towards the bed.Â
You take the opportunity to dive into bed, yanking the blanket over you as Simon strips himself out of his boots and hoodie. You go to look away as he yanks his belt free with practiced hands but you canât seem to. He slips the belt out of the loops and drops it on the dresser before unbuttoning his jeans and slipping them off.Â
Your mouth waters at the sight of him in a tight pair of navy boxer-briefs slung low on his hips. You can make out the shape of hisâ
âEnjoyinâ the view?â he mumbles half-heartedly as he turns to root through the dresser to find some sweatpants.Â
âSorryâŠâ you mutter shamefully at being caught.Â
He chuckles under his breath, pulling the sweats on before he rounds to his side of the bed and drops onto the mattress, âNothinâ to be sorry about.â
He leans over you and turns out the tableside lamp. Then he settles into his pillow with a soft sigh.
âSi..?â you whisper.
âYeah?â you can hear the smile in his voice.
âAre we umâŠâ you clear your throat, âI mean likeâŠare weâŠtogether now..?â
You feel him roll over and toss his arms around you. You squeak when he tugs you towards him roughly, securing you against his chest before he kisses the top of your head.
âDo you want to be together?â he asks, muffled by his lips pressed against you.Â
âYes,â you whisper quickly, wrapping yourself around him almost possessively.
He tilts your head up and carefully slots his mouth over yours again. You sigh happily at the feeling.Â
You notice that he keeps it a lot slower than he had before, moving his lips carefully against yours. Like heâs trying to make it easier for you to keep up. It makes your cheeks flush again but you sink into the pillow and let him kiss all he wants as you do your best to match his movements.Â
His body shifts, torso hovering over you as he rests his weight on his elbows on either side of your head. Your hands rest against his shoulders and simply get lost in the kiss.Â
After a moment, he deepens the kiss, sinking into you with his chest pressed against yours. You whimper and wrap your arms around his neck, carding your fingers through his cropped hair.Â
One of his hands moves, coming to grip your waist, fingers sliding up the hem of your shirt. Itâs like a dream come true. Literally.Â
All those nights you spent with your hand between your thighs, thinking of him. Thinking of him touching you like this â with his hand sliding your shirt up a little further every second. You even feel that familiar wetness soaking your panties.
Then why was your heart racing from anxiety instead of excitement? Why did you feel a fearful tremble setting in your thighs, as if your knees would be knocking together if you were standing. Why were you scared?
Before you can stop yourself, youâre shoving your hands against his chest with a weak, âNo!â
Simon is off of you in seconds but you can feel his gaze on you in the darkness. You struggle to catch your breath as you lay there, heart pounding in your ears. Your head hurts, you realize with a wince.
âUmâŠâ you find yourself attempting to appease him, âI-I donâtâŠIâm sorry, IâŠâ
âItâs alright,â he whispers sincerely, settling down into bed with a content hum, âNothinâ to worry about, love.â
You scoot closer to him and hesitantly place your head on his chest. Simonâs arm wraps around your back and tucks you even more snug against him. You close your eyes and will yourself to relax and sleep as you feel Simonâs comforting hand rubbing your back.Â
Neither of you talk about it in the morning. Or the day after that. Or the day after that. You donât bring it up, even though you want to, and Simon doesnât try touching you like that again. Part of you wants him to, youâve been dreaming about his touch for years but once you finally get it, you freak out?
You canât stop beating yourself up over it.Â
But then you think about the anxiety that it had caused. The apprehension. How uncomfortable it felt â how you wanted his hands off of you.Â
You sighed, flopping onto your side on the couch where you sat. Your mind was buzzing annoyingly from your thoughts.Â
Regardless of your problems, you were happier than ever with him. He was finally yours. Wholly and truly yours. It was bliss.Â
âGot a call,â Simon says, snapping you out of your daze, âGotta leave.â
That makes you sit up, âLeave?â
You finally notice that heâs got his bag packed â the one he only takes when heâs getting deployed. Youâre on your feet in seconds, following him to the door. Heâs wearing his skull balaclava so all you can see are his eyes â sad, apologetic.
âH-How long?â you ask, unable to ignore the ache in your chest as you watch him.
âFew weeks, probably,â he mutters, placing the bag down so he can tuck his feet into his boots.
He straightens up with a grunt before turning to you. He sighs, gloved hands cupping your cheeks when he sees how sad you look â like a kicked puppy. You wish you could feel his bare hands on you but canât find it in you to ask.Â
âI donât want you to go,â you find yourself mumbling.
Itâs selfish and even a bit cruel of you to voice that desire. Simonâs thumb strokes your cheek in that sweet way he always does and you melt into him. He lets you thump your head against his chest as you suppress your cries, biting your lip so you can keep your tears at bay.Â
âI know,â he softly whispers, stroking your back as you cling to him, âI know, but I have to.â
âI know,â you mumble, finally looking up at him. You know your eyes are glassy and you make sure to blink back the tears so they never overflow, âJust be safe and come home, okay?â
He lifts his mask up just enough to expose his lips before he leans down to kiss you. Itâs a whole body experience this time. He clutches you against him like his life depends on it, gloved hands fiercely gripping the back of your t-shirt. His lips move smoothly against yours, hand coming up to cup your jaw so he can tilt your head and pull you even deeper into his kiss. He pulls away when he needs to breathe, smiling when he sees the dazed, lovesick expression on your face. He tugs his mask down and lets you go but you stay as close to him as possible.Â
âMake sure you stay warm,â he coos, âGonna start gettinâ real cold in a couple days.â
âI will, Si,â you assure him.
âLeft some cash for you to do your shoppinâ,â he adds, âI know youâre a shit cook but I left a list of some easy recipes. Donât burn the flat down.â
You snort and playfully smack his shoulder, âIâll just buy some cup noodles in that case.â
He rolls his eyes, pinching your side to make you gasp from the ticklish feeling, âDonât even think about it.â
Your grin falters when his phone makes that obnoxious beeping noise that lets you know itâs something urgent. He sighs, the tranquil happiness between you two broken immediately. He kisses your forehead through his mask and pulls the front door open.
âKeep this locked,â he mutters, stepping past the threshold, âIâll be home soon.â
He closes the door and youâre left with an emptiness that overcomes you. Youâve always been scared for him when he has to go off on missions â you know that his job is extremely dangerous and he could lose his life at any moment. That thought alone makes a nauseous pit settle in your stomach. You push down the feeling of bile rising in the back of your throat and click the lock on the door with a sigh before you go about your day, trying your best to keep your mind off of him and where he might be in the world.Â
True to his word, however, the temperature drops bitterly cold within 2 days after he leaves. There had already been a chill in the air that drove you to turn the heating on just a bit but now it was full blast. But now, it was dipping to freezing and you were anticipating the arrival of snow soon enough as well.Â
You wake up one morning, however, and your apartment is bitterly cold. You sit up, confused before climbing out of bed. Your feet are immediately freezing as you step onto the floor. You hiss, wrapping your arms around yourself as you stumble over to the radiator in your room. You touch it and find absolutely no heat emanating from it.Â
All the radiators are the same. Absolutely no heat.Â
You curse, realizing you have no idea what youâre supposed to do. You curl up on the couch under a heavy throw blanket as you type with bitterly cold fingers into Google, looking for anything that can help you. But itâs to no avail. You canât understand a thing.Â
Your next thought is to call the building manager but you know thatâs pointless. The useless man never actually helps with any work for his tenants.Â
Thereâs no way in hell that you can afford to call someone to come and fix the problem. You have money for groceries but if you spent that you wouldnât have anything to eat. You sigh, resolving yourself to bundling up and trying to stay as warm as you can.Â
You pile all the blankets you have into bed and pick out only your thickest, warmest sweaters.Â
This is going to be miserable, you think.Â
The snow comes just a short week later and it feels even colder. You venture out of your flat to go to the grocery store, picking up ingredients for the dishes Simon wrote down for you and also some cans of soup that you can cook to stay warm. You also throw some boxes of tea and some hot chocolate in with it, figuring why not. Warm drinks will help.Â
Itâs almost 3 weeks of living like that. Itâs miserable and makes your bones ache from how stiff the cold makes you feel. You make sure to eat nice, hot food to keep yourself warm and make frequent cups of warm drinks so you can keep your hands warm for as long as you can. You do your best.Â
The worst is showers, though. When youâre standing under the blisteringly hot spray, itâs bliss. But the second you step out and your wet body is hit with the freezing air, you couldnât have felt more miserable.Â
The night Simon walks through the door, he finds you bundled up on the couch sipping a cup of hot chocolate.Â
âSimon!â you gasp excitedly, tossing the blankets off to take a running leap at him.Â
He huffs contentedly when he catches you in his arms, letting you embrace him for as long as you need. He strips his mask off and brings you in for a delicate kiss.
âLet me wash up,â he mumbles, stalking through the apartment.
âUm, before you do, Si,â you catch him at the entrance to the hallway. He turns to you and looks at you with a brow raised, âThe umâŠheating is broken soâŠjust letting you know when you come out of the shower itâs gonna suck.â
âAinât nothinâ I havenât dealt with before,â he mutters and pauses, âThe fuck you mean itâs broken?â
âHeating cut off a few weeks agoâŠâ you shrug, wrapping your arms around yourself as you start to feel the cold creep in again.
âA few weeks ago?â he hisses, running a stressed hand through his hair, âFuckinâ hell. You didnât call someone to fix it?â
You pout as he raises his voice, clearly frustrated, âI couldnât afford it, Si! I had the money you gave me for food but I wasnât gonna spend that to get the heating fixed. You know the building manager is a piece of shit, not like he was gonna call someone.â
He sighs, crossing his arms over his chest, seemingly thinking something over. Then he turns on his heel and storms into the bathroom, slamming the door.
âIâm sorry, Simon!â you call through the door, âI didnât know what else to do! Please, donât be mad.â
The shower turns on and all you can do is look up and sigh in exasperation. The second heâs home and heâs already pissed at you.Â
You sulk over to the couch and flop down, tossing your blankets over you as you grab your mug. The hot chocolate is still warm but not as hot as it was. Itâll have to do.
Simon comes out of the shower, gets dressed warmly, and joins you in the living room. He doesnât even look at you as he makes a move for his bag that he left by the door. You almost think heâs going to scoop the bag up and storm out the door. You sit up, ready to stop him but instead, he stoops down and zips it open. He pulls out his wallet and approaches you.Â
âWhat are you doing?â you mumble, watching him flip the thing open.
Itâs old and worn, a simple black leather wallet. Heâs had it for as long as you could remember and youâve put the poor thing through the washer and dryer so many times that youâre shocked it's still intact.Â
He pulls out a bank card and promptly hands it to you. Your brain stutters to a stop as you look at it.
âTake it, fuck sake,â he mutters. He sounds annoyed but the way he looks away and his ears turn pink you can tell heâsâŠshy.Â
Simon Riley is fucking shy right now.
You take the bank card out of his hand and look at it, flipping over in your hands, âWhy are you giving this to me?â
âSo you can use it,â he mumbles, slamming his wallet shut and tossing it onto the table, âThat way, in case anything happens you can withdraw from my account for what you need. If an emergency happens and Iâm not around, use it.â
âSimonâŠâ you mumble, looking up at him, âAre you sure..?â
âCourse Iâm sure,â he scoffs, taking a seat beside you before softly rattling off four digits.
âHuh?â you dumbly ask.
âItâs my pin,â he responds, grabbing one of the blankets you have piled on the couch and tossing it on his lap.
âThatâs my birthdayâŠâ you say softly as you repeat the numbers over and over in your head, âYour bank pin is my birthday?â
He snatches the remote up from the table and turns the TV on without another word. But you can see how pink the tips of his ears are. It makes you beam and before you know it, youâre curling snugly into his side.Â
âLove you, Si,â you whisper, earning a kiss to the top of your head in response.
Simon calls the next morning to have someone come by and fix the damn heating. You listen to the man rattle off some information to Simon about what the problem was but it makes virtually no sense to you so you resolve yourself to sitting on the couch and waiting until itâs warm again.Â
But even when itâs nice and toasty inside, you still plaster yourself to Simonâs side, snuggling as close to him as you possibly can.
âI want you to meet my team,â Simon says one morning while heâs making some eggs.Â
Youâre standing by the toaster, waiting for it to pop up but his words make you turn to him, âYou mean 141?â
âWho else?â he huffs, flipping one of the eggs. It sizzles loudly in the pan, âThey wanted me to go out with them tonight. Thought you could join us.â
âReally?â you realize how incredulous you sound and then try again, âI mean really? Thatâs okay with you?â
He nods, plating the eggs, âI think itâs time they met you.â
âI-Iâd love to,â you say, unable to hide the excitement you feel.Â
You catch a slip of a smile on Simonâs face before the toast pops up and distracts you.Â
You have to dig into your closet that evening, after a shower, to find something nice to wear. You figure an occasion like this calls for something a little nicer than just jeans and a t-shirt like you usually wear. But you canât find much of anything.Â
âWhatâre you huffinâ about in here?â Simon asks when he walks in, towel wrapped around his waist. Heâs still dripping wet from the shower and you can feel the way your mouth fills with saliva at the sight.Â
âI uhâŠdonât know what to wearâŠâ you respond, turning your back to him just as he slips the towel off. Your cheeks feel like theyâre on fire, imagining Simon completely naked behind you.
âWear those nice jeans you got,â he mumbles, grunting as he gets himself dressed, âAnd that little blue top you got.â
âThe cropped one?â you ask incredulously, a brow raised as you turn to him. Heâs got some jeans on now and heâs meticulously unfolding a black t-shirt so he can put it on, âI havenât worn that in a while, howâd you even remember it?â
He shrugs, the muscles in his back rippling with his movement before he tosses the shirt over his head and pulls it down, covering his skin once again, âItâs cute. Weâre just goinâ to the pub, love.â
âOkay,â you mumble, reaching into the back of your closet to pull the little shirt out, âIf youâre sure this will be okay.â
âIâm sure,â he chuckles softly, grabbing his balaclava off the dresser. But he doesnât put it on yet. Instead, he sits on the bed and watches you change.
Youâre acutely aware of his eyes on you as you strip your shirt off. You keep your back to him, trying to ignore your racing heart. You donât feel uncomfortable at all, instead you feelâŠexcited.Â
Your mind runs wild, imagining him stepping up behind you, kissing your neck and cupping your bare breasts in his big hands. Theyâre a little rough from his line of work and you wonder what theyâd feel like against the sensitive skin of your tits, thumbing your nipples and pinching them a little meanly.Â
âC-Can you hand me a bra?â you find yourself asking.
He grunts in acknowledgement and the bed creaks when his weight moves off it. He opens one of the drawers and is behind you in a second. His body heat permeates through his shirt as he presses his chest against your back.Â
He slings your bra over your shoulder, holding it with one finger by the strap. You canât help but tilt your head back to look up at him. Heâs towering over you, pretty, brown eyes looking down his nose at you.Â
You realize in this position, he could clearly see your breasts but he keeps his eyes on yours. You take the bra from him and he lets you, simply staring into your eyes with that stern silence he has about him.
âT-ThanksâŠâ you find yourself whispering, mouth feeling particularly dry.
He grunts, lips quirked up just a bit before he turns his back and walks back to the bed. You let out a quiet, slow breath, willing your heart rate to go back to normal.
Simon was so exhilarating. Just being around him sets your heart racing and fingers trembling.Â
You put your bra on and slip your top over your head, ignoring the sticky feeling in your panties as you do.Â
âI donât know, Si,â you mutter, turning to face him, âI-Itâs a little tight on me now.â
The fabric once hugged you nicely but now it was snug. It molded around your breasts, even showing the lines of your bra. The neckline was low, giving a good show of cleavage â it didnât help that Simon picked one of your more well padded bras.Â
Simon looks up, his eyes immediately falling to your breasts. He sucks in a quick breath and looks away, licking his lips.
âLooks fine,â he mutters, standing to pull one of the drawers open again. He searches for a second, brows furrowed until he pulls out the jeans he was talking about. The ânice jeansâ as he called them, were just some low rise jeans youâd only worn about 4 times.
You look dumbly at them as he drops them into your hands.
âThese?â you scoff, âSimon, I canâtââ
He quiets you with a kiss to your forehead, âTrust me, love.â
He steps out of the room after that, leaving you to your own devices. Youâre thankful that you can change your panties without him seeing how saturated and sticky theyâve become because of him. You bury them in the laundry basket and remind yourself that you should do the laundry before he does because youâd be mortified if he found them.Â
You donât even look at yourself in the mirror, afraid youâll feel too self-conscious if you see what you look like. But you trust Simonâs judgment on what he thinks would look good on you â and you canât deny that dressing up how he likes feels nice.Â
You step into the living room, intent on pulling your shoes on when Simon catches you with an arm around your waist. You gasp as he turns you to face him.
âYou look lovely,â he whispers, smoothing his hands up your sides, thumbs slipping under the hem of your shirt to stroke your skin.
You swallow thickly as your heart starts racing in your chest again. He leans down and pecks your lips but pulls back before you have the chance to kiss back.Â
âLetâs go,â is all he adds before walking away, leaving you no choice but to follow like the lovesick puppy you are.Â
Walking into the bar, your heart pounds painfully in your chest from pure anxiety. Your hand is clasped tightly in Simonâs as he easily moves through the crowd. You suppose his height makes it easy to see over people.Â
âYou alright?â he asks, leaning down to whisper in your ear.
âHavenât been in a bar since I worked atâŠâ you trail off, giving him a half-hearted shrug.
âIf you wanna leave, just say the word,â he mutters, giving your hand a squeeze.
âN-No,â you shake your head, shooting him a wobbly smile,âI wanna meet your team at least.â
He smiles reassuringly and gives your hand a tug to encourage you to follow him. He leads you right to a table situated in a corner, three men laughing and drinking.Â
âThere he is!â the one with the mohawk cheeks, holding up his pint in celebration.
âShut up, Soap,â Simon grumbles petulantly as he pulls out a chair for you.
Soap, you note to yourself. You know them by name but youâve never actually seen the faces to put to them. Soap looks like you imagined, a broad grin and pretty, bright eyes â you imagined them green but theyâre blue.Â
âAnd who is this lovely companion of yours, Simon?â an older man with a hat and mutton chops asks with a kind smile, eyes on you.
Simon says your name before he sits down with a grunt beside you.
âPrice,â your boyfriend supplies when you look curiously at him.
The man in question holds out a hand which you take and softly shake, âNice to meet you.â
âHad no idea Lt. had someone waitinâ for him at home,â Soap says, a teasing lilt in his voice.Â
So youâve met Soap, Price, and that leaves; your eyes land on the quiet guy sitting back in his chair, a cool smile on his lips. He meets your gaze and his smile broadens â not teasing like Soapâs but purely kind.
âYou can call me Kyle,â he gives you a polite nod.
âGaz, then?â you question, tilting your head to the side. Kyle looks surprised, eyes flicking to Simon who shifts uncomfortably in his chair, âHeâs talked about all of you before. I only know your call signs though.â
âJohn will do fine if youâd like,â Price says, tipping his beer back to take a chug.
âSimon calls me Johnny,â Soap adds, âYouâre welcome to as well. Anyone important to the Lieutenant is important to us.â
Out of the corner of your eye you see Simon roll his eyes. It makes you smile. He leans over, nudging you with his knee, âYou want anything to drink? I need one.â
âNo thank you, Si,â you reply, intent on having a clear head for the night. Youâve never been much of a drinker anyway.Â
When Simonâs gone from the table, you suddenly feel incredibly out of place. Price and Kyle have the decency to not stare you down but Soap seems keen on keeping his baby blueâs right on you and a goofy little smile on his face.
âUmâŠâ you shift uncomfortably as you look back at him.
âWeâve never gotten to meet anyone from Ghostâs private life before,â Soap says, saving you from having to think of what to say, âJust shocked sâall.âÂ
âYouâre gonna start giving the poor thing the creeps with your ugly mug,â Kyle chuckles which also makes Soap laugh.
âSorry about that,â Soap lifts his glass and cheers to you before tipping it back.Â
He grimaces slightly as it goes down before slamming his glass back on the table.
âItâs alright,â you respond, âSiâs not really the open book kind. So I understand.â
âHow long have the two of you known each other?â Kyle asks.
You find yourself wondering where the hell Simon even is but answer regardless, âSince we were kids. Um, we lived next door. His mom and mine were friends, I guess.â
Soap nods his head, elbows on the table as he gives you his full attention, âYou guess?â
You hum, âIâm 3 years younger than Simon. The way it was told to me by my mom is thatâŠhis mom came over and,â you couldnât fight back the smile as you recalled the story.
âOh this has got to be good,â Soap nudged Kyle excitedly at your grin.
âTold my mom that Simon didnât have any friends and that he was aâŠsoft-hearted boy and she wanted him to have some friends,â you giggle, holding a hand in front of your face to hide your laughter, âSo she wanted to set up playdates with me even though I was still a baby. My mom didnât have the heart to tell her no.â
Soap tosses his head back and laughs, âNo fuckinâ way.â
âIâm shocked to say it but that actually makes him sound cute,â Kyle adds, unable to hide the laughter in his voice either.
âDonât let him hear you say that,â Price says, but thereâs a smile on his face, âSimonâll knock you out cold on this table.â
âSo you and Simon have been together since?â Kyle asks, glass cupped in both hands.
You nod, âOnly time weâve been apart is when he enlisted and had to go off for a few years to train.â
Soap opens his mouth to say something but a large figure finally drops down into the seat next to you. Simon has a glass of bourbon and a glass that he slides over to Soap who catches it with ease.
âThanks, Lt,â he nods, taking a sip before making that disgusted face again.
âWhat are you lot talkinâ about?â Simon asks, drumming his fingers against his glass.
âWe were discussinâ all your dirty secrets,â Kyle teases with a charming grin.
âNothinâ too damning I hope,â Simon huffs before he takes a large gulp of his drink.Â
The other three men all hide their grins behind their glasses.Â
The anxiety you had felt at the beginning of the night is long gone. The task force is full of jokes and laughs and even Simon seems like a different person.Â
With you, heâs kind and even soft. Heâs by no means gentle or patient.Â
But this side of Simon is so jovial and comfortable that it warms your heart to see. He drinks a few glasses and by the end of the night, heâs got a relaxed, lidded look in his eyes that lets you know heâs got a bit of a buzz going on.Â
âIt was lovely to meet you,â Price says when you all walk out of the bar.
âI really enjoyed meeting all of you as well,â you smile, letting Simon tuck you into his side with an arm wrapped around your waist.
âGet him home safe,â Soap teases, your smile only widening when you hear Simon huff in annoyance.Â
You bid goodbye to the three of them and make your way to the car with Simon, plucking his keys out of his hand and forcing him into the passenger seat despite his grumbled protests of how âheâs not that drunkâ.
When the two of you finally get into your apartment, you let him lock up and turn out the lights while you go to the bedroom and get ready for bed.Â
âYou looked really nice tonight,â Simon mutters when he finally walks in as you crawl into bed, âIâm glad you liked them.â
âIâm glad they liked me,â you huff, leaning back into the pillows, âThey were all really nice guys.â
âYeah,â Simon hums, tugging his shirt off of his head, taking his mask with it, âTheyâre good people.â
You nod your head and tuck your knees to your chest while he gets undressed. He slips on a plaid pair of pajama pants and shoves the drawer closed with his hip before yanking the blanket back to make room for his large body.Â
You bounce a little on the bed when he drops his weight onto it. He smacks his pillow a couple times before he lays back and sighs. Itâs clear heâs still a little buzzed from the way he fights to keep his eyes open.
âSimon?â you ask, turning to face him.Â
That makes his eyes open back up before he looks at you, âWhat?â
âCan I kiss you?â you ask.Â
He snorts and it makes you smile. He reaches out and wraps his hand around the back of your head. You let him tug you down, pressing your hands against his firm chest as you kiss him.Â
His hand travels down your back as he sighs into your mouth. You pull away briefly to look into his eyes before you kiss him again, this time deepening it as much as youâre able. Simon sighs contentedly, his other hand coming up to caress your arm.Â
âI like kissinâ youâŠâ you find yourself whispering against his lips.
He groans at that, the sound going straight to your core. You feel yourself clench around nothing, already starting to leak into your panties.Â
âYeah?â he coos, cupping your cheek, thumbing over your lips, âYou can kiss me all you want, love.â
You whimper, surging down to kiss him again. His hands grip your waist, intermittently squeezing you, like he doesnât know what to do with his hands.Â
Suddenly, you feel the warm, slick slide of his tongue against your lips. You whimper and pull back, brows furrowed.
âShh, love,â he coos, pulling you close again, âJusâ relax and let meâŠâ
You huff, struggling to catch your breath as he urges you to meet his lips again. You feel his tongue again and eagerly open your mouth, letting him taste the inside of your mouth. You shyly meet his tongue with yours and feel his grip on your waist tighten as he groans in his throat.Â
Youâre sure youâve soaked well through your panties by now. Thereâs an ache in your clit that you long to reach down and relieve â or better yet, have Simon relieve.Â
You bet his fingers would feel so damn good against you. You find yourself whimpering into the kiss at the thought alone. Simon lets out a husky laugh into your mouth before pulling away.Â
A string of spit connects your lips before it breaks and vanishes.Â
With a surge of confidence, you toss your leg over his waist. He grunts when your weight settles on his hips, on his cock. Itâs chubbed up against his thigh from kissing you and he knows you can feel it.Â
âWhatâre you doinâ, baby?â he huffs, unable to stop his hands from traveling up the front of your body.Â
You grab his wrist and boldly slide it under the hem of your shirt. He bites his lip to keep from moaning when he feels your bare breast fill his palm. You see the way his eyes start to roll back before he looks at you again. It makes you throb in your panties and you canât resist grinding against him a little before he grabs your waist and stops you.
âSiâŠâ you whimper, pressing your hands against his chest, ââS wrong?â
âCanât,â he clears his throat and sinks into the bed, âCanât do this, love.â
âWhy not?â you ask, feeling a pit of disappointment in your gut, âYou donât want to? I just thoughtâŠâ
You feel your face burn with humiliation as you slide off of his lap. Simon lets you, simply laying there on his back, eyes closed and a knit between his brows, as he evens his breathing out. You fight back tears as you sit there, biting the inside of your lip anxiously.Â
âNotâŠnot tonight, sweetheart,â he finally says, reaching over to pet your hair, âBeen drinkinâ ând I want to be sober for it, yeah?â
It would have been a solid excuse if it didnât sound so flimsy coming from his lips. Like he doesnât even believe it himself.Â
âYeahâŠâ you offer, giving him a wobbly smile before turning out the light.Â
Youâre too embarrassed to cuddle into him that night.Â
âCan I ask you something?â you find yourself muttering as you relax on the couch with him, watching some old movie he picked out, âAs long as you promise not to get mad.â
He snorts, taking a sip of his tea, âWonât get mad.â
âI just want to knowâŠâ you clear your throat and sit up straight a little more, going over the question in your head, âWhy did you leave that nightâŠleave like that, just to have sex?â
He tenses up immediately, you can feel it. He shifts where he sits, spreading his legs just a little wider so he can sink deeper into the couch, âWe already talked about this.â
You wince at his clipped tone, knowing youâre stepping into dangerous territory, âI know butâŠI want to know the real reason.â
He catches his bottom lip between his teeth and sighs, keeping his eyes trained on the TV, âYou think I was lyinâ to you?â
Now he sounds mad. You quickly shake your head, âNo, Si. I-Iâm not trying to start a fight, I swear. I donât think you were lying. I just think youâŠwerenât telling me everything.â
He sighs. You can see the way his jaw ticks when he clenches it, âIs that right?â
âYeah,â you breathe, scooting a little closer to him, placing your hands on his chest, smoothing his shirt down a bit, âIt was justâŠout of character for you, Si. I was really upset and you knew that. It wasnât like you to justâŠleave. Just to get laid.â
He finally looks at you, just out of the corner of his eye. You meet the look, offering him an encouraging smile to show that youâre not upset or anything.Â
âAll night,â he finally mutters, âYouâd been kickinâ in your sleep. Kept wakinâ me up.â
You nodded, a look of confusion on your face. You had no idea where this was going.
âYou started sayinâ my name,'' he continued, âMoaninâ my name. Fuck, it was drivinâ me crazy.â
Your face flushes hot when you hear that. It all suddenly comes rushing back to you â what youâd been dreaming about.Â
âYou threw your leg over mine and I couldââ he cuts himself off, his throat moving with how hard he swallows.
âCould what?â your voice comes out shockingly breathy.Â
He catches it, looking at you. You can see the way his pupils widen immediately when he meets your gaze. Itâs like he can see right through you, see the fact youâre dripping into your panties again. Just from this conversation alone.Â
âI could feel how fuckinâ wet you were,â he brings a shaky hand up and runs it through his hair before he leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees, âCouldnât fuckinâ deal with it. I had toâŠlet it out somehow.â
âSo you knew that I wanted youâŠlike that?â you find yourself asking.
He scoffs and shakes his head, âDidnât think about it like that. Figured it was just a dream and thatâs all it was.â
âWasnât just a dream,â you assure, scooting closer to him.
Simonâs breath catches in his throat when you lean over him, resting your hand on the arm rest on his other side, letting it support your weight. You stand on your knees, making you just a little taller than him before you lean down and kiss him.Â
He remains completely still, like heâs processing. His hands flounder in the air for a second before heâs carefully pushing you to sit back down. You slump against your heels and look at him, perturbed.
âWhy..?â
âI need to make dinner,â he says lamely.Â
âSimonâŠâ you admonish, knowing heâs lying.Â
He gets up, knees cracking as he does. He winces a little bit before he bends down to pick up the blanket that fell to the floor when he stood. You kept your eyes on him, worrying your bottom lip between your teeth. You almost let him go but before you can stop him, you grab his arm.Â
âI donât know what Iâm doing, Simon,â you mutter, âI keep trying to make things go further with you but I just keep making a fool of myself and Iââ
ââS not you,â he assures softly, taking your hand in his, ââS all me, baby.â
âSo whyâŠâ you frown, âI want you.â
He shakes his head, âNight you told me how you felt. You sounded scared.âÂ
You remember, the way his touch had made anxiety fill you. You had wanted him, of course, but for some reason it had just been so damn awful at the same time. You hadnât really dwelled on why that was.Â
âIt wasnât âcause of you, Si,â you assured, shifting so your feet were on the floor rather than under you, âI promise. I-I was just nervous, I think. Thatâs all.â
âI donât wantâŠâ he licks his lips, seemingly thinking over his next words carefully before he says them slowly, âI donât to hear you sound like that with me again. âS why Iâve been avoidinâ it. âCause I donât want you to get scared again.â
You shake your head, rising to your feet, stepping in front of him. You take his hands in yours and squeeze them, âI donât want to make a fool of myself with you, Simon.â
He frowns, âYou know I would never think poorly of you.â
You smile and shrug, âI know that. I thinkâŠthat time was justâŠtoo soon. After that night at the bar and everything that happened. And then the fact Iâm so inexperienced that itâs laughable. I thinkâŠI just wasnât ready for it. I needed to go at my own pace and I have been.â
âI donât want you to push yourself,â he hums, âI know that night at the bar was terrifying,â he brings a hand up to brush over your cheek, âI understand if youâre not goinâ to be ready for a long time. Itâs normal to not be ready after what happened to you.â
You huff, âIâve been trying to show you that Iâve been ready for a while now, Si. I was anxious at first, yes. But now itâsâŠlike a good kind of nervous.â
âA good kind of nervous?â he mutters, hands moving to your hips to pull you closer. Your breath hitches in your throat and you nod dumbly, âTell me all about it.â
âL-Like my heart races,â you breathe, âAnd I feel scared that Iâm gonna do something silly and embarrassing but like I want to learn andâŠand I want to do good for you.â
âFuck,â Simon groans, dropping his head to rest on your shoulder, âCanât say shit like that to a man like me, love.â
âWhy not?â you whimper, feeling your knees tremble in excitement when you feel his hands start to wander.
ââCauseâŠâ he whispers, running his hands up your sides, âMakes me think some nasty shit, sweetheart.â
You swallow thickly at the promise in his voice, âSimonâŠâÂ
You sound so wrecked already and it makes him moan softly in your ear, âTell me about it, baby.â
Just like that, youâre spilling your guts to him, âGet so wet for you, Si, all the time. I want you so bad that it hurts.â
âYeah?â he breathes, finally pulling his head from where he was hiding in your shoulder, tilting your chin up, âWhereâs it hurt, baby? Hm? Right in that needy little cunt?â
You whimper immediately, looking up at him with wide, hazy eyes and nod, âT-Tried to touch myself. Thinkinâ about you made it hurt so I couldnât help myself. Thought about you when I did.â
He hums as you babble to him but his mind latches onto one particular word, âTried, baby? What do you mean "tried?â
Your cheeks burn hot at the slip up. Would he think you were silly for it?
âC-Canât do it right,â you confess softly, hoping he doesnât see how embarrassed you are, âTry so hard but n-nothinâ ever happens.â
Simon moans at that. Loud and unbridled, âWhatâre you sayinâ, baby? That you canât make yourself cum, sâthat it?â You shake your head bashfully, âFuckinâ hell. Thatâs adorable.â
âD-Donât tease me, Si,â you whimper but the seat of your panties is so fucking wet that itâs sticking to you.Â
He hums, a predatory smile spreads across his face, âAm I beinâ mean, love?â You nod your head, tearfully staring up at him. It only makes his smile widen, canines popping out, ââM sorry. Canât help myself when you tell me âbout how you touch your pretty little pussy and just canât make yourself cum like you need. Think I can do it for you, hm? Want me to try and make you cum?â
You vigorously nod your head, uncaring how fucking needy you look to him. Heâs offering to give you what youâve wanted for years â to give you a real, honest to God orgasm. And you werenât going to let this chance slip away.Â
âWant you on the bed,â he suddenly whispers, âOn your back, lose the pants but keep everything else on.â
With a jerk of his head in the direction of the bedroom, you take off. You hear him chuckle behind you at your excitement. He makes sure the door is locked before he heads back to the bedroom.Â
Youâre there just like he asked, pants pooled on the floor, leaving you in nothing but an old t-shirt of his and a pair of the cutest little lilac colored panties heâs seen. Youâve got your knees pinned together, clenching your thighs but laying perfectly still in waiting for him.Â
âSo fuckinâ good for me,â he praises, grinning when you whimper and tremble at his words, âOh, sweet thing likes to be praised, huh?â
You nod your head, âWanna be good for you, Si.â
âThatâs sweet, baby,â he coos, reaching to the back of his collar so he can tug his shirt off of his head.Â
Your heart hammers away in your chest when he crawls onto the bed, hands on either side of your head. He looks so big like this, on top of you, completely blocking any view you had of your ceiling and instead filling your viewline with just him. He leans down and kisses you, humming contentedly when you eagerly kiss back. Your hands find purchase on his shoulders as he uses one hand to tug your legs open so he can slot himself between them.Â
You cry out when he presses himself against your core. Heâs wearing nothing but his jeans but you can feel the heat radiating through the thick material.Â
âShit, look at that,â he whispers, leaning back on his heels to admire the nice little wet patch that has stained your panties, âYou already this wet, baby?â
âKissinâ you always makes me this wet, Si,â you sweetly confess and oh, you are just so precious.Â
His hands slide up your stomach, moving your t-shirt up and up until it sits crumpled under your chin. Your tits are bare and move with every gasping breath that you take.Â
Simonâs hands are just as rough and warm as youâd expect them to be. His thumbs come up and glide over your nipples until they harden into stiff little peaks for him.Â
Then his mouth is wrapping around one, swirling his tongue around it before pulling off with a lewd pop. His hand pinches the other nipple, rolling it between his fingers as he listens to you whimper and sigh.Â
âPlease, Si,â you whine, âI-It hurts, please.â
âIt hurts?â he hums, leaving a fleeting kiss against the nipple his tongue was torturing just a moment ago, âWhere? Hm?â
His hand travels down your body, cupping your cunt through your panties. You gasp, arching your hips just a bit to grind against his palm. He lets you, before he meanly pins your hips down with his other hand.Â
âWhere, love?â he smooths the pad of his thumb over the seam of your cunt through your panties. The fabric is saturated with your slick, letting him see every part of you through shape alone. His thumb finds your clit, the little bud poking out through the fabric from how hard and swollen it's become, âHere? âS it your pretty clit that hurts, love?â
You nod, eyes rolling back in your head when he presses his thumb against the bud, trapping it under his finger so he can roll mean little circles over it. Youâd be mindlessly rutting your hips by now if he didnât have his other arm slung over your hips to keep you pinned nice and still like he wants.Â
It already feels so different than when you touched yourself. Maybe because itâs him or maybe because heâs so experienced.Â
That thought makes you equal parts jealous and equal parts turned on. Heâd slept with plenty of people but now he was using that expertise to make you feel good.Â
âCan you take them off, please?â you whine, pitchy and sweet from arousal.Â
âAsked so sweetly for me,â he coos, hitching his thumbs into the band of your panties before giving them a firm tug.Â
You quickly lift your hips, letting him tug them down and off of your feet. You expect him to toss them away but instead he holds them up, thumbing over the slickness in the crotch. You watch him with wide eyes as he analyzes it. Your breath hitches when he suddenly brings them towards his face and licks a wide stripe of the fabric, moaning when he gets a good laste of your syrupy sweet slick.
âSimon!â you gasp â admonish, leaning up to snatch them out of his grasp.Â
His eyes open, he hadnât even realized heâd closed them, to look at you. He licks his lips like a dog licking its chops when it tastes something real delicious.Â
He doesnât even comment on what he just did or the pure embarrassment that is written all over your face. Instead, he grips underneath your knees and yanks you down the bed towards him so your hips are situated in his lap.Â
âJusâ let me touch you, love,â he whispers, âIâll work a nice little orgasm out of you in no time, yeah?â
You nod your head because you trust him. You know heâs going to be able to give you what you need so badly. You donât even question it â especially when you feel how good it feels when he uses his thumbs to spread your folds open for him. He groans when he sees the sticky strings of slick that display just how turned on you are.Â
Pretty little hole clenching sporadically around nothing, dribbling more creamy arousal that makes his tongue feel like lead in his mouth. A pretty clit that twitches and throbs under his scrutinizing gaze. But you make no move to cover yourself and hide from his gaze.Â
He finally touches the bud directly and itâs like electricity strikes through you. You lose control of your body as your back arches and your thighs violently twitch. Your cheeks burn when you hear him chuckle softly at your reaction.
âSensitive,â he huffs, a crooked little grin on his face as he brushes his thumb over your clit again, garnering the same reaction as before from you, âFuck, canât believe youâre this sensitive and canât make yourself cum.â
ââS cause itâs you, Si,â you sweetly confess.
And itâs true. Having him touch you like this directly â feeling his callused skin over the most sensitive little part of you is euphoric. It doesnât feel anything like when you touch yourself at all. It feels magnified, you feel like a live wire and everything feels like too much. But you donât do anything to impede him because you trust him more than anything â especially like this, with your body.Â
He replaced his thumb with his middle finger, prodding at your entrance. You almost think heâs going to press inside you but he doesnât â instead, he gathers your slick up on his finger and drags it up to your clit. He softly circles the bud, cock kicking against his thigh when you sigh and croon so sweetly for him.Â
Your cunt makes sticky noises as he continues doing this, gathering your arousal and lathering your precious bud up with it so he can so softly play with it. His touches arenât enough to actually work you to the edge, itâs much too slow and soft but it feels good. He waits for you to relax against the bed, lashes fluttering as you whimper and twitch on the bed for him.
âThere you go, sweetheart,â he whispers, leaning forward to press a kiss against your trembling thigh, âRelax fâme. Want you nice and soft for me so I can get my fingers in this tight little cunt.â
You gasp at that, partly in excitement and also in apprehension. Youâve never actually put anything inside yourself before â except once, you put your finger in and it burned so you never tried it again.Â
âD-DontâŠâ you find yourself muttering, making him freeze. He thinks youâve changed your mind, anxiety getting the better of you and heâs fully prepared to propel himself away from you at a moment's notice, âBe gentle, okay?â
His gaze softens when he looks at you, âWonât hurt you, love. I promise.â
You remain relaxed for him when he carefully prods you with his middle finger. He keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, not rubbing it or anything, just keeping a nice pressure that keeps you sagged against the pillows.Â
It doesnât feel anything like when you tried that one time with yourself. Everything is so much wetter and more pliant. Itâs like your walls just suck the digit in, even though itâs so much bigger than your own finger.Â
You sigh softly when you finally have something to clench around. Simon gives you a sweet kiss to the spot right underneath your belly button in silent praise. He keeps his lidded, brown eyes on your face, watching every little expression you make with rapt attention.Â
He slowly and carefully fucks his middle finger into you, feeling the way you slowly relax around him, soaking his skin with your arousal. He smooths his free hand up the length of your body, abandoning your clit to wrap his palm around your breast. You place your own hand over his, encouraging him to squeeze harder.Â
âHowâs that feel, love?â he asks, still sliding his finger in and out of you.
âOkayâŠâ you reply, keeping your hand over his on your chest, âBut itâŠumâŠâ
âWhat?â he urges, âTell me what you feel.â
âI-It feels nice butâŠâ you trail off and he hums, nodding his head.
âDoesnât feel good?â he finishes for you. You nod your head and he laughs softly, âI know, baby. Jusâ tryinâ to get you used to the feeling and then Iâll make it feel real good, alright?â
âOkay,â you whisper but he can tell youâre not too convinced that itâs going to feel much better.
Youâre worried that the same thing is going to happen â itâll feel really good and then youâre never going to be able to climb over that wall. You hate to imagine disappointing him, failing to get off. Youâd hate for him to put all this work in and you just canât cum in the end.Â
âHey,â he coos, âGet out of your head, pretty. Donât worry about a thing, alright?â
You take a deep breath and slowly let it out, allowing yourself to relax against the bed again. Simon waits for you to be nice and pliant around his finger before he starts to fit his ring finger alongside it. He catches sight of the furrow in your brow when he stretches you around two of his fingers. It burns but when Simon brings his thumb back to your clit, tapping against the bud, it vanishes. Your thighs twitch and you whimper, walls clenching in time with the little taps until the burning vanishes completely.
âThere we are,â he praises, âKnew you could do it, sweetheart.â
âA-Are you gonna add another?â you find yourself asking.
âLater,â he responds, scissoring the two fingers he has snug inside your cunt, ââM a big man, love. Gonna need you nice and stretched for me.â
You whimper at that, walls clenching around his fingers as he slowly begins to fuck them in and out of you. Your cheeks burn when you hear the loud, squishing noises your hole makes every time he stuffs them back inside.Â
After a moment of just getting you used to being stretched on two of his thick digits, he suddenly crooks them up and hits something inside you that makes your back arch. It causes a tingling feeling that youâve never experienced to heat your tummy every time he touches it.
âSimon!â you squeal, trying to clench your thighs closed but his broad shoulders keep them open, âTh-That feels-!â
âI know, baby,â he coos cockily, grinding his fingertips against that little spot that makes you so gooey and creamy around his fingers, âFeels real good right there, I know.â
Your back arches and your jaw drops. You canât do anything but moan and cry out as he fucks against that spot. Heâs urged on by your sounds of pure pleasure, eyes flicking between where heâs got your pretty cunt spread open and the euphoric expressions you canât do anything to hide.
Itâs so precious, seeing you so open and loud for him. You donât do anything to hide your sounds of pleasure nor do you even think of faking any of them for his sake. Every little thing youâre feeling, you express, and you canât help yourself because itâs all so new and so much.
That hot, tingling feeling in your core only intensifies with every experienced stroke of his fingers. Your eyes are rolling back every time he touches that magnificent spot inside you, abusing it with his fingers until your walls are soft and malleable for him again.
And then he brings his index finger into it. Heâs even more slow and careful as he fits it in beside the other two fingers. It doesnât burn like when he had given you his second finger but itâs a certain stretch that simply feels strange.Â
He gets you stuffed open on his three fingers, up to the third knuckle. Youâre spread so wide and squeeze his fingers so tight that it makes him moan when he thinks about what it will feel like around his cock.Â
If youâre this tight around just his fingers then youâre going to feel positively euphoric around him.Â
âSimonâŠâ you coo, reaching down to card your fingers through his hair.Â
He grunts in acknowledgement, but is unwilling to part his gaze from the sight of the creamy mess youâve begun to leave on his fingers. Your pretty clit is twitching and so swollen, glistening from your juices and he suddenly has the inescapable desire to wrap his mouth around it.Â
Youâre not even looking when he decides to do it. Itâs like he canât stop himself.Â
All you feel is something wet and hot wrap around the little bud. You practically wail at the feeling of his tongue sliding against it. Your feet kick aimlessly, hitting his back and shoulders as you flail beneath his body.Â
You sob his name, yanking harshly on his hair in a way that hurts but heâs not going to stop you. He knows itâs mean to do this, not even warning you or easing you into the feeling before heâs suckling your clit. His tongue slips in circles around it, flicking it with the tip of his tongue. His ears practically ring from how loud youâre crying out for him.Â
His three fingers remain buried inside you but heâs hardly able to move them from how tight youâre squeezing them. All he can do is grind his fingers against your g-spot but it only makes your pretty body more twitchy and makes you squirm even more beneath him. He has to hold you down so you canât get away.Â
He doesnât want your precious pussy to be ripped away from him, your juices are making his taste buds tingle â you taste so damn good.Â
That familiar heat begins to grow in your core â one youâve experienced many times before by yourself. You cry and wail for him, sobbing his name and gripping his hair.Â
âS-Si, donât stop, please, please, pleaseââ you choke on your own cries, slamming your head into the pillows as your back arches painfully hard.Â
He grunts lowly, blonde lashes fluttering as he watches your bodyâs pure, unfiltered reactions to this pleasure. He knows youâre getting close, can feel you clenching around him and your clit pulsing on his tongue in time with your heartbeat.Â
You feel yourself reaching that wall, the one you can never overcome. But it feels different this time, the pleasure isnât slowing. Itâs not fading like it always does when youâve got your own fingers on your bud.Â
It always seems to slip out of your grasp by this point.
This is it, you think. Youâre going to cum. Youâre finally going to fucking cum.Â
Then everything stops.
His tongue is gone from your clit and his fingers are nowhere to be found. Simonâs shoulders rise and fall as he watches your face flicker through a range of emotions before your eyes fill with tears and you look at him â utterly pitiful and hopeless.
âWh-WhyâŠâ you finally whisper, tongue feeling heavy in your mouth.Â
Your cunt pulses and throbs around nothing, the heat of your orgasm quickly dissipating, leaving that horribly empty and unsatisfying feeling in its wake.Â
âSorry, baby,â he coos, genuine and soft as he leans up to kiss your face, âThat was mean, huh? âM sorry. Jusâ want you to have your first orgasm on a cock, love.â
That doesnât do anything to quell your disappointment but you nod anyway, wiping away some stray tears that trickle from your eyes.Â
âPlease,â you breathlessly whisper, âPlease, Simon. Want your cock, please. I-I was so close. It felt so good,â you start babbling, eyes falling to the hard outline of his cock in his jeans, âI wanna cum so bad, Si. Y-You promised. Please, just give me your cock. Please? Please? Simon!â
Simonâs mouth goes dry as he hears your babbled begging. Fuck, youâre absolutely aching for it. All you can think about is cumming. He never thought heâd get to hear you beg for him like this, so pathetically. You should be embarrassed, begging for cock like this when youâve only just now gotten your first taste of being stretched open. Yet here you are fuckinâ crying for it.
His cock drools pre down his thigh, he can feel how wet his boxers have become from how much heâs leaking it. Heâs aching in his jeans â he canât pretend he doesnât want it just as badly as you do.
âShit, alright!â he snarls, wrapping a hand around your throat to force you to look at him. You gasp at the rough treatment, âJusâ shut up and Iâll give it to you, yeah?â
You obediently nod your head, still staring up at him with those wide, teary eyes. He tries to act like his hands arenât fucking trembling when he yanks his belt off. He doesnât think heâs ever felt this needy â this excited to get his cock inside a pussy.Â
But itâs you. Youâre special.Â
He loves you. This isnât like the one night stands and hookups heâs had in the past. This is different.Â
He feels like a fumbling teenager the way he clumsily yanks his belt out of the loops and shoves his jeans down his thighs along with his underwear. His cock, big and heavy, hangs under its own weight â it never slaps up against his stomach. He wasnât just chatting shit when he said he was a big guy.Â
He wrapped his hand around himself, giving it a few, firm tugs. He feels your eyes on him, watching the way he touches himself and it sends heat through him. He scoots closer to you again, pulling back his foreskin to show the fat, leaky head that he meanly taps against your clit.Â
You gasp a cute little âah!â when he does that brings a smile to his face. He canât say heâs the best lay for a virgin because heâs so big and heâs a brute â itâs in his nature. But heâs trying his best for you.Â
âAlright, baby,â he coos, leaning on one forearm above your head, draping his big body over yours. He easily manhandles you into position, caging your knees against your chest and wrapping himself around you, âJust relax for me, hm? Can you do that fâme?â
You nod your head and shakily put your hands on his shoulders, cupping his jaw to bring him down to kiss you. He sighs into your lips, using his free hang to grip the base of his cock, prodding against your hole. Youâre so slippery that it slides out of you and slips up your clit. You whimper at the feeling, thighs twitching at the stimulation.Â
When he finally starts to press inside, your nails bite into his shoulders. It stings â it hurts. Heâs so big, making your poor little cunt burn the deeper he presses himself. The head pops in and your hips jump at the feeling, his cock slipping back out.Â
He huffs, dropping his forehead against your shoulder, âFuck, sit still.â
âS-Sorry!â you whimper, âIâm sorry!â
âShh,â he sighs, kissing your cheek, ââS okay, baby. Hurts, huh?â
âA little,â you whimper, trying to downplay it so he wonât stop.
He hums and presses a kiss against the corner of your mouth. He knows that working an orgasm out of you before making you take his cock would be the nice thing to do but heâs selfish. He wants to feel your orgasm around his cock â where you deserve to have it.Â
Itâs your very first orgasm after all. It needs to be good and he knows he can make it real good once he can get you speared on his cock.Â
So he grips himself again, sitting up for just a moment to lewdly spit on your pussy. It hits your clit and trickles down where he catches it with the head of his cock. He leans over your body and starts to push in again. This time he tucks his arms under your shoulders and pins you impossibly against him, leaving you with nowhere to run when he starts to press into you.Â
You whimper, feet kicking against his back when he pushes deeper than before â past the head. He knows it hurts, youâre stretched beyond your limit and he waits with bated breath for you to say the word and tell him to stop.Â
But you donât.Â
You just grapple your arms around his waist and dig your nails in. His skin is sweaty by now and it makes getting any purchase on him difficult. You let out a watery little whimper that has him freezing. Youâre speared on half his cock when he finally looks at you.Â
Your eyes are teary and they slowly drip down your cheeks.
âDo you want to stop?â he asks, brushing some away with his thumb.
You immediately shake your head, no hesitation, âNo! K-Keep goinâ, Si.â
âDonât cry, pretty,â he shushes, keeping his grip under your shoulders and his hips pinned firmly against yours so you canât squirm when he starts pressing in again. Your mouth opens in a silent gasp, eyes fluttering from the ache that settles where heâs stretching you wide, ââS okay, just take a deep breath. âM almost in, love, youâre doinâ so fuckinâ good for me. Takinâ all of my cock so deep, just like you deserve. Hear me? This cock sâall yours now, yeah? Can have it whenever you need it.â
Your walls spasm around his cock as he talks, making him groan low in his chest. Heâs almost there, can feel his balls starting to tap against you the deeper he gets until finally, his hips meet yours and you wail.Â
He prods painfully against your cervix and he knows that itâs uncomfortable but heâs not willing to pull back just yet. He needs you to get used to being stretched and stuffed full of every inch of him. He takes care to do slow, gentle grinds, his pelvis catching your clit that eventually makes you relax.Â
âThatâs it,â he praises, âJust relax and let me make you feel good.â
He finally eases off of you, balancing his weight on his forearms on either side of your head, hovering over you. He slowly pulls his hips back, watching you slump against the bed when he finally stops pressing on your cervix.Â
He finally starts fucking you, sliding his cock out just a bit before rolling his hips forward again. It's slow and soft, just testing the waters and getting you used to this new stimulation.Â
It feels entirely different from his fingers. His cock is bigger, fills you so much more, touches deeper.Â
His cock reaches spots deep inside you that his fingers didnât even reach. But heâs permanently pressing against that spot his fingers were torturing. It feels so fucking good.Â
Simon can see the way your eyes roll back as he carefully fucks you. Your first cock and youâre taking it so damn well. It makes him want to see how much more you can take but he knows he needs to ease you into it, he doesn't want to overwhelm you.
âSiâŠâ you sigh softly, blinking as you struggle not to float off and become drunk with pleasure.Â
âI know, pretty,â he coos, kissing your cheek before leaning back on his heels, fastening the thrusts of his hips.Â
You canât keep quiet now, mouth falling open to let out the most precious sounds of pure pleasure. Youâre staring at him with wide eyes, like heâs hung the moon and stars in the sky just for you. His cock fucking throbs at the look of wonder that crosses your face. He knows youâre getting close, can feel how tight youâre clamping around him and he can see how much youâre creaming around him â making a mess at the base of his cock and in the thatch of curls there.Â
âYou gonna cum?â he coos, grinning when you shake your head, âOf course you are. I can fuckinâ feel it, baby. Know you got one for me, go ahead. Cum on my cock real nice, câmon.â
âC-Canât,â you whimper. Itâs too much. Youâre so wet. Itâs fucking messy but you feel yourself at that damn wall, hanging on a thread and waiting for euphoria to come but it doesnât, âPlease! Simon! Please, I-I canât! Please, please, pleaseâŠâ
âFuck,â his hisses when he hears you begging to cum on his cock, âCome on then, baby. You can do it. Just let it go, let me fuck it outta you.â
You toss your head back into the pillows as a sob is ripped from your chest. As if he can sense how much youâre struggling, he brings his thumb down to press against your clit. Your eyes fucking roll, only the whites of them visible. You clench down around him like a vice and it only takes a couple little swipes of his thumb for you to tumble over the edge.Â
It feels unlike anything you could have ever imagined. Pleasure soars through you and your hearing cuts out. It feels like you lose control of your body, unable to do anything but thrash and twitch as he fucks you through it. Youâre not sure if you would prefer him to stop or keep going because itâs all so fucking much that it hurts.Â
Youâre gushing around him, drenching his cock in sticky, creamy cum that drips in thick strings down his balls. Holy fuck.
It feels like hours that youâre speared on his cock, cumming and cumming before it finally leaves you and you collapse against the bed. Youâre still twitching, entire body shivering until he finally slows his thrusts to soft little rolls of his hips. He takes his thumb off of your clit and youâre thankful because it was starting to become unpleasant.Â
You swallow despite how dry your mouth is, eyes finally focusing on him. His brows are furrowed and his bottom lip is tucked into his mouth. Pretty, brown eyes are locked on you and you suddenly feel shy.Â
Had he been watching you the whole time? You hoped you didnât make any ugly faces or embarrassing noises.Â
âFuck,â he coos, seemingly sensing your shame, âThat was a fuckinâ orgasm, love.â
Youâre panting, you realize. And youâre tired. Youâve never felt more relaxed in your life.Â
All you can think is that youâve been missing out on that your whole life? Now youâre not sure youâll be able to even live without it ever again.Â
Simonâs hands cup under your knees and pin them to your chest. You gasp as he bends you as he sees fit. Youâre limp, so completely drunk on the pleasure you just experienced that you simply let him.Â
But you realize heâs even deeper like this â and it doesnât hurt like it did before. Heâs pressing against your back wall and it actually feels good. You feel so sensitive inside, like you can feel every twitch of his cock.Â
Heâs still languidly dragging his cock in and out of you. Itâs a fucking mess between your legs, youâve cum so fucking much that itâs everywhere. Heâs never been covered like this before and itâs fucking hot.Â
Your cum sticks between the two of you in little strings that break and reform every time his hips meet and leave yours. Your little clit is puffy and swollen from your orgasm and he wants to press his thumb against it again but he knows the poor little thing is much too sensitive still.Â
Your legs flop uselessly as he fucks you, eases you past overstimulation until youâre sweetly cooing for him again. He takes that chance to fuck you properly again, intent on finding his own orgasm deep in your cunt.Â
His heavy balls slap against your ass. He wants to cum. He plans to make himself cum like this, just using your pretty pussy. But then he sees your eyes widen again and your lips part almost curiously and his eyes narrow.
âYou feel it again, huh, sweetheart?â he goads, shifting his weight on his knees so his hips are pressed even closer to yours.Â
âC-Canât,â you whisper, the same thing you had before. But itâs different now, âW-Wonât be able to, Si.â
âS that a challenge, love?â he teases, a crooked little smile on his face. You sleepily shake your head, âHmm, I think I can fuck another one out of you. One orgasm wonât be enough, two is a good number for now. Until I train this little cunt to cum for me all night long.â
You whimper, reaching out the claw at his forearms where he pins your knees to your chest. Youâre held so uselessly open, cunt completely vulnerable to his fat cock stuffing you full. His pelvis hits your clit in a way that makes the little bud tingle and your cunt clenches pathetically around him with every thrust he gives you.Â
Sweet little âah, ah, ahâsâ are punched from your lungs every time he sinks completely inside. Heâs gripping your knees harshly, squeezing where he has a grip as his own orgasm starts to creep up on him but heâs going to give you another orgasm. He has to make you cum again, to see you lost in pleasure like that once more. He knows that will push him over the edge, give him what he needs. He wants to cum with you, fill you up while youâre in the throes of pure pleasure that only he has ever given you.Â
âFuck, fuck, fuck,â he gasps, fighting the feeling of his own eyes rolling back in favor of watching you.Â
He loves the way you wear everything you feel on your face. From the looks of wonder when it feels really good to the little rolls of your eyes when he makes it hurt just a bit. Itâs so cute.Â
Makes him want to play around with that little part of you â be a little mean to you.Â
âCum,â he growls, fighting his own orgasm down, âFuckinâ cum right now.â
âI canât!â you wail, kicking against his hold on your knees, pressing down to spread you open even further.Â
His hips slam against yours, loud slaps and slick noises of your gooey cunt filling his ears, âYou can. You will. Cum, sweetheart. You better fuckinâ cum.â
But you shake your head. Itâs so close, you can feel it. Itâs creeping up on you and you want it so bad. You want to feel that pleasure again. But youâre not even sure youâre going to be able to cum again, it feels so much more sensitive than before. Itâs too much.Â
Simon bares his teeth, letting go of one of your legs to drift between your thighs. Your eyes widen, you think heâs going to rub it again â itâs so sensitive that youâre not sure youâll be able to take it.Â
But instead, he does something else.
You hear it before you feel it, a soft little slap followed by the feeling of being electrocuted. Simon watches you with lidded eyes to see how you react. Just like he expected, you wail and your body gives a mean twitch at the impact.Â
So he does it again.Â
And again.Â
And again.
Not too hard, just enough for it to hurt a little bit. A sting against a terribly sensitive little bud. Itâs mean â heâs mean. But he canât fucking help it.Â
He needs you to cum for him again.
âCum,â he snarls, giving your clit another slap.
As if on command, it sends you over the edge. Your legs kick out and he has to abandon your clit to hold you down, pinning you harshly to the bed as he uses all his weight to fuck down into your spasming little cunt. Youâre cumming so hard around him that you stop breathing. He hears the hitch of breath and doesnât hear the exhale. All you do is lay there, cry for him and cum.
He finds his end just as violently, tossing his head back to moan into the room as cum erupts from his cock. His thrusts grow sloppy as he milks the orgasm out of himself, voice breaking as he whimpers from how fucking good it feels.Â
Like no orgasm heâs ever experienced. Itâs like he canât stop cumming, filling you up so much that it oozes out from around his cock.Â
Youâre trembling underneath him when he finally comes down, tearfully gazing up at him with your mouth agape, struggling to catch your breath.
âN-No more,â you pathetically whimper, legs twitching from the aftershocks, âC-Canât take anymore, Si.â
âShh,â he shushes, letting your legs go so you can relax comfortably as he pulls his cock from your pussy.
Itâs twitching and clenching sporadically, still coming down from your orgasm. It makes his cum drip out of your cunt, a mess that spreads to the already messy sheets. Your cum and his mix together to make a sticky, gooey mess that makes his mouth water. He wants to eat it up, stuff his tongue into your tight little hole and swallow it all down.Â
But he canât. Maybe next time, he vows.
His cock gives a valiant kick at the thought of getting to do this again. He sits on his heels, gazing at his messy cock as if softens. He feels dazed, almost drunk.Â
Then he hears the softest little sniffle from you and his eyes snap up to your face to find your crumpled expression and tears falling down your face. You cover your face with your hands and earnestly begin to cry.
âHey, itâs alright, love,â he coos, laying beside you to tuck you into his chest.
âI-I donât know why Iâm crying,â you sob, wrapping your arms around his waist as you cry into him.Â
âIt happens,â he assures, âIt was a lot and youâre just a little overwhelmed sâall. Just let it out, baby.â
And you do, weakly sobbing into his chest until it feels like you canât cry anymore. He holds you through it all, rubbing your back and cooing sweet nothings in your ear until you grow silent.Â
âAlright, love?â he asks.
âS-Sorry, Si,â you sniffle, finally pulling out of the spot in his arms you were hiding in, âI-I donât want you to think I didnât want it or that it was bad. I justâŠâ
He gives you a soft smile, leaning forward to kiss you. Itâs short and sweet, âI donât think that. Like I said, it happens. Sometimes people just cry after sex, nothinâ to worry about.â
âAre you sure?â you sniffle, wiping your cheeks dry when the tears finally stop.
âPositive,â he sits up, âLetâs get cleaned up, alright? We need to change the damn sheets, fuckinâ hell.â
You giggle as you look down at the sheets where a very visible dark spot is sitting where you once laid. You donât even have time to be embarrassed before heâs swooping you off of the bed and escorting you to the bathroom.
Itâs too small for both of you to fit but you make it work. He wipes you down with a warm cloth before hopping into the shower to rinse and clean himself before he gets out and lets you do the same. While you do that, he changes the bedding completely and replaces it with new sheets and blankets for the two of you to sleep in together.Â
When you finally stumble into the bedroom, he wraps his arms around you and urges you onto the bed. You giggle as you flop onto the bed before he crawls in after you and covers the both of you up, wrapping himself around you until youâre tucked securely against him.Â
âI take it you liked it?â he finally whispers.
You shyly nod, âI-It was umâŠfun.â
âFelt real good, huh?â he teases, grinning wolfishly when you whimper.
âY-Yeah,â you whisper, âIt felt really good. I already want to do it again.â
Simon groans, hugging you tightly before shaking his head, âYouâre gonna be insatiable. Gonna give my cock a run for its money.â
You giggle, affectionately petting his hair before he looks at you with the softest expression youâve ever seen. Itâs like his eyes are sparkling in the low light of the bedroom. He leans forward and ever so softly kisses your forehead, then your nose, before he reaches your lips. He pecks them softly, pulling back for just a second before he kisses you again.Â
âI love you,â he whispers, so soft that you almost miss it.Â
And your heart begins to race. You almost struggle to find the words to reciprocate. But when you do, he smiles and tucks you against him again, big arms wrapped around you like a bear hug.
Itâs almost surreal. You canât believe youâre here after everything â with him.Â
Like youâve dreamed your whole life, he loves you just like you love him.Â
PART ONE.
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#simon riley smut#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost smut#ghost x reader#cod smut#cod x reader
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